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The Ubyssey Feb 7, 1967

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Array Vol.  XLVIII, No. 45
THE UBYSSEY
VANCOUVER, B.C.,  TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 7,  1967 COLLEGE <*3g_-^
Joe Hill
224-3916
Fund cut means
financial trouble
X . ■    -   ,
.vBt-i'jS.   -.4- s
By TOM MORRIS
Ubyssey Ass't City Editor
A shortage of funds next year for UBC
will mean a financial retrenchment for the
university, says Mr. Justice Nathan Nemetz,
chairman of the UBC's board of governors.
"There will be a shortage of money for
UBC but I'm not quite sure what it will
amount to," Nemetz said from Quesnel in
an interview with The Ubyssey Monday.
Discusing the B.C. budget disclosed on
Friday, Nemetz expressed disappointment
over the lack of funds available to the three
universities.
"Depending on the amount of the deficiency, we will have to take one of several
appropriate measures to sustain the functions of the university," he said.
'ENROLMENT CUT'
"These measures include cutting expenses, not hiring additional staff, cutting
enrolment, and increasing fees."
UBC president John Macdonald also expressed concern over the lack of funds
granted to higher education in B.C.
"The provincial government has actually provided for the three universities only
$53 million of the $66 million I said they
required for operating and capital building
finances," he said Friday.
"The amounts provided are disappointing."
"Although we don't know the figures for
the other two universities, it is unlikely the
$45 million provided for operating costs
will meet the requirements," Macdonald
said.
"There is no new capital provided at a
time when additional building money is
critically needed."
Macdonald   did   not' attend   the  budget
session on Friday as he has done in recent
years.
The "new capital" is in reference to the
fact that the $8 million provided for capital
expenditures in the $53 million allocation
was the same amount provided last year
and was part of a continuing government
commitment under the Three Universities
Capital fund plan.
$66  MILLION  NEEDED
Macdonald re-emphasized his plea for a
minimum of $66 million in the coming year
to meet operating and capital costs.
The $53 million allocated in this year's
budget represents an $11 million increase
in grants to the three universities.
Last year the universities got a total of
$42 million in grants — $33 million from
Victoria and $9 million from Ottawa.
The federal government is withdrawing
from the shared university costs program
in the new fiscal year and beginning a tax
abatement program.
This new program gives the provincial
government larger grants but grants are
unconditional. They won't have to go to
education if B.C.'s government doesn't see
fit.
FEDERAL GRANT
This year's federal grant is $28.6 million
to B.C.
B.C.'s budget shows that all post-secondary institutions receive $60.4 million. The
three universities get $53 million.
Presidents Dr. Patrick McTaggart-Cowan
of Simon Fraser Academy and Dr. Malcolm
Taylor, University of Victoria could not
decide whether the $53 million was good or
bad.
They agreed they will have to wait until
the government divides the three university's grant under the academic grants board
headed by S. N. F. Chant.
FLYNN,  OLSON  OUT
FAVOR  SULLIVAN
— kurt hilger photo
WHICH ONE will get the boot when all the ballots are
counted Wednesday? Hoping it will be the other guy
are AMS presidential hopefuls Bob Cruise and cross-
legged Shaun Sullivan.
COUNCIL FLUFFS
Fuffling  reigned   supreme   as   the   Alma   Mater   Society
council did nothing at its weekly meeting Monday night.
Council took no action on the following issues.
• A motion to endorse the stand taken Jan. 30 by the
University of Waterloo, Ontario, to support in principle the
draft resistance program in Canada and to assist Americans
who come to Canada to avoid the draft.
• A proposed letter to education minister Leslie Peterson, asking that the money now dispensed in the government
money-for-marks scheme be more fairly distributed through
bursaries.
• A proposed referendum to go before the students on
March 1, asking approval for a three-university fee fight.
Council tabled the proposed referendum for a week.
Text of the referendum is: "If inadequate provincial operating grants to British Columbia's universities result in a tuition increase for 1967-68, do you authorize and support a coordinated program by the students' councils of UBC, the University of Victoria and Simon Fraser University to take steps
to ensure non-payment of that fee increase?"
It has no connection with Wednesday's strike referendum
at UBC.
In other business, council approved a four-man delegation
to city hall Thursday to present a brief on the shortage of
low-cost housing in Vancouver.
Council also moved to support The Ubyssey's bid to attend and report board of governors' meetings.
Braund said council will ask the board to place the request first on its agenda when it meets Thursday so the bulk
of the meeting may be covered if it is opened.
AMS hopefuls blast off
By BONILEE
Presidential candidates Frank Flynn and
Pete Olson have dropped out of the AMS
race in favor of Liberal club president Shaun
Sullivan.
Sullivan, opponent Bob Cruise, plus
second vice-president candidates Kim Campbell, Doug Halverson, and Maynard Hogg
harangued each other and 150 students at
an all-candidates meeting Monday.
"Action platform" former vice-president
Bob Cruise is now the only opposition to
Sullivan.
The meeting was set against rumors of
a libel suit against Cruise.
Cruise, in early morning speeches, had
accused former AMS public relations worker
Keith Mitchell of getting a kick-back from
. the national Liberal party in 1965. Lester
Pearson participated in the SUB sod-turning ceremony two weeks before the 1965
federal elections.
Electronic equipment taping the meeting
led to further speculations. (Radsoc admitted
it taped the meeting for professional purposes.)
Heckling, shouting, gavel banging, and
calls for time punctuated candidates'
speeches.
"Student  government  is -being  used  by
opportunists," Cruise declared.
He said student politicians work not for
the good of the student but for themselves.
"They combine platitudes with real political opportunities," he said.
A "small example" of political opportunism, Cruise claimed, was the 1965 SUB sod-
turning ceremony, in which Lester Pearson,
then candidate for prime minister, took part.
"We find a Liberal prime minister candidate with elections two weeks off making
a non-political speech coincidentally in the
name of SUB sod-turning," Cruise said.
Cruise criticized student governments
that please no one.
"My campaign will displease those who
Presidential candidate Shaun Sullivan and second vice-president hopeful
Kim Campbell have both emphatically
denied they are members of the Blue
Guard, as reported in Friday's Ubyssey.
always apologize for the status quo," he said.
Anti-strike candidate Sullivan told students: "If you want a strike, please vote for
my opponent.
"But if you want responsible, measured
leadership, please vote for me."
Sullivan said a strike would toe "illogical". "It would eliminate public support
when we should be building it."
He suggested a campaign similar to the
Back Mac campaign to make the public
more aware of our needs.
"We have to go to the people, bring it
To Page 2
See: CANDIDATES Page 2
THE      UBYSSEY
Tuesday, February 7, 1967
FROM PAGE J
Candidates strike out
right down to a personal thing," he said.
Second vice-president candidate Doug
Halverson shares Cruise's action program.
He envisions a re-conceptualization of the
university.
"We must oppose fees," he said. "We
must free funds, educate the public, and
make available to students knowledge of
their role in society.
"We will fight hard in one direction, be
responsible to the people and the students,
but not to those elements we see working
against them."
Former  frosh  president  Kim  Campbell
'Tenant' plays
A new tenant is to occupy the Freddy
Wood Studio.
The New Tenant, an absurdist comedy
about man's obsession with material things,
will be performed at the Freddy Wood
Studio at noon, Thursday and Friday.
Judy Penner is directing Eugene Ionesco's
play as part of her work for an M.A. in
theatre.
Time for time
Time, the so-called fourth dimension, is
the subject of nine lectures sponsored by the
extension department starting today.
Time: the strange dimension begins at 8
p.m. in Bu. 102 with Simon Fraser Academy
philosophy professor David Breg speaking on
the philosophy of time.
Other speakers in the series include UBC
profs Dr. James Tyhurst, G. M. Griffiths, E.
W. Weisganber, M. K. Morton and Charles
Anderson.
They will examine time in relation to
art, music, physics, psychiatry, society, identity and religion.
said student government should be more responsive than responsible. She said present
campaigns are too dogmatic and unyielding.
"Government implies leadership and
creativity," she said. "We must be responsive
to wishes of students.
"I'm stressing a lack of alignment. You
have to flow with the tide.
"If you're going to speak for someone
make sure they agree with you."
Hogg suggested co-operation with other
student politicians is not hard to come by if
requests are asked for in a mature way.
The second vice-president candidate said:
"My office will be a readily accessible centre
to other complaints."
Strike stands were the main topic of a
noisy and bitter question period.
Halverson in heated discussion was for a
strike in the fall, as long as it was accompanied by a program of student and public
education.
Cruise said the strike issue has been badly understood.
"We will withdraw from classes. It will
not toe done in some wierdy-beardy way,"
he emphasized.
He said there would be no wild strike
with pickets thrown up everywhere. He suggested students could go door-to-door to gain
the public's support.
"I see Cruise is taking the emphasis off
the strike and is now advocating much the
same as I advocate — education of and informing the public," interjected Sullivan.
AMS fee hikes were a second subject
tossed at the presidential candidates.
If it is definitely necessary to generate
more revenue, then I am in favor of it,"
Sullivan said.
But he said he wanted to see the budget
and would cut back within the organization
if a fee increase is not necessary.
Cruise said he was in favor of the raise.
"If I am elected, it will be put to good
use."
Literary  award
worth  $1000
A prize of $1,000 is available for people with literary
creative talent.
The Norman Epstein award
is given annually to the
person submitting the best
long poem, group of poems,
novel, or collection of short
stories.
Entry forms are available
from the registrar, University College, University of
Toronto, Toronto 5.
Entries must be in the
hands of the judges by June
15, 1967.
SPECIAL
EVENTS
presents
VANCOUVER SYMPHONY
ORCHESTRA
Thurs.f Feb. 9, 12:30 - 35c
Rimsky-Korsakov
ARMOURIES
Ravel
Strauss
ARE THEY GUILTY?
HEAR DAVE DALUNGER
American  member  of  War  Crimes   Tribunal
Just returned from North Viet Nam
Tuesday, Feb. 7-8 p.m.
King George Auditorium, Barlcley & Denman
Sponsor: Vancouver Vi«t Nam Day CommittM
Phone 685-2910
YOUR STUDENT COUNCIL
recommend that you
VOTE NO
on tomorrow's
STRIKE REFERENDUM
to get
two tickets
for the price
of one
for the
'MEDITERRANEAN NIGHT
AT THE SYMPHONY"
Thursday
February 16
Two for $2
or
Two for $3
COUPONS AT HOME SERVICE STATIONS
Allison & Dalhousie
41st & Collingwood
10th & Sasamat
Cornwall & Cypress
Granville &  41st
HOME OIL DISTRIBUTORS -LIMITED
Missing
someone
far away?
She's lonely like you
- phone her tonight!
B.C.TEL^
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN ALL THE WOMEN SUDDENLY SAY
NO?
lySiStrata
DEPARTMENT   OF   THEATRE   STUDENT   PRODUCTION
ARISTOPHANES FARCICAL
SEX STRIKE WITH MUSIC
DANCE AND ET CETERA
ADAPTED AND DIRECTED BY DONALD SOULE WITH
ORIGINAL MUSIC BY JOHN CHAPPELL. DESIGNED BY
DARWIN REID PAYNE. DANCES BY GRACE MacDONALD
FREDERIC WOOD  THEATRE - FEBRUARY 21-25
Matinee Feb. 23 at 12:30.   Student tickets 75c Everyone else $2.00
Book Eariy-Only 6 performances. Box office FW Theatre, Rm. 207. Ph. 228-2678 Tuesday,   February  7,   1967
THE      UBYSSEY
Page 3
FREE UNIVERSITIES
.. . IN TROUBLE'
'Money and creative thought minimal'
By ROBERT GROSS
(U.S. Collegiate Press Service)
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The two-year-old Free
University of Pennsylvania has more than 400
students, a widely-ranging curriculum, and faculty
and administration support.
But some of its organizers consider it a failure.
"The Free University is in trouble," says three
members of the student-organized school's coordinating committee. "The majority of the
courses are ill-attended, the creative thought is at
a minimum in many courses, the minimal office
work has not been done, and that which has been
done has been done by a very few people."
Although this analysis is disputed by other
University of Pennsylvania students as "overly
pessimistic", it points up problems shared by a
number of free universities across the country.
Founded in protest against bureaucratic stifling of
learning in formal education, the "anti-universities" are beginning to meet the difficulties which
college administrators face continually: lack of
organization, funds, and student interest.
In their reaction against the formal procedures
used by colleges to handle almost all activities,
the free universities allow their members complete
freedom. Anyone can organize and lead a course,
and anyone can attend — usually at no cost —
and with no fear of grades. The bureaucracy is
given little power: it registers students, arranges
classroom space and handles necessary paper-work.
When policy decisions have to toe made, everyone
can participate.
Yet, despite their success in involving students
in education, free universities are beginning to
feel the consequences of their extreme anti-
bureaucratic assumptions: administrative work is
Revamp coming
WATERLOO (CUP) — Universities are ludicrously obsolete and will soon change, a University
of Waterloo political science professor charged
here recently.
Professor Donald Gordon predicted sweeping
changes, coming from outside the universities,
would radically transform them within five years.
These radical changes will require clear and
intelligent definitions of education and the individual, he said.
"Once there is a definition of education, each
individual could have himself programmed onto a
personalized computer," he suggested.
With these computers we could realize ourselves and show ourselves to other people, he said.
"People shouldn't be aible to hide within themselves. All their vulnerabilities and prejudices and
so on could be programmed."
not being done and continuity of operations is in
danger.
The nationally-publicized 100-student Experimental College at San Francisco State College
admitted recently it is broke and the outlook for
additional funds is bleak. Its organizers failed to
write proposals for foundation and U.S. Office of
Education funds, which it expected as sources of
support.
"We are going to be tighter about salaries next
semester," said EC director Cynthia Nixon, "partly
because of lack of money and partly because work
has not ibeen up to par. The structure of the EC
will change slightly to a more centralized operation."
But most free university planners are uninterested in joining the formal educational system. Following philosopher Paul Goodman's
original call for "secession" from the universities,
their organizers seek to establish counter-institutions which will be far more attractive to students
than traditional colleges.
Despite their many problems, students continue
to be excited by the education experiments, and
free universities are proliferating across the country. More than 30 free schools, involving over
3,000 students, have been started this year at
colleges ranging from the University of Oregon to
Northern Illinois University to Princeton University.
Students ignorant of sex,
-physiologically speaking
You may think you know a lot about
sex but you don't really.
At least so says Dr. Anne Juhasz, associate professor of education, after an "exhaustive" two year study of 893 students.
A questionnaire administered to volunteer students during the 1965-66 UBC session was divided into two parts — one dealing with the sources and adequacy of the
student's sex information and a second part
concerning physiological aspects, a "sex-
knowledge inventory."
Dr. Juhasz said students "clearly overrated their own knowledge since the second
part of the test showed they had inadequate
knowledge of the physiology of sex."
"The areas which gave them the greatest
difficulty were conception and venereal
disease."
Dr. Juhasz said that men with first-class
marks had the least sexual knowledge
among males.
She said that only children had less
knowledge than students with brothers and
sisters.
The test also showed that males with no
religious affiliation had more knowledge
than those who were religiously committed.
DESPITE AMS
Co-op house operating
— kurt hilger photo
SEXY    CYMBAL   and     pulsating    drum    capture    frantic
females'   mesmerized   movements.   Some   surveys   show
dancing   is   used  as  foreplay  to   lovemaking,   some   say
as a substitute. Either way,  it's a rythmic method.
'Student advice, reaction
needed by administrations
SACRAMENTO (UNS) — California's state superintendent of public instruction has come out in favor
of student representation in university administration.
Dr. Max Rafferty said here Friday he would seek
the permission of ten University of California's board
of regents for student participation in their monthly
meetings.
"We need the advice and reaction of students to our
problems and proposals.
"I can think of no better way than inviting students
to join us in our meetings," he said.
Despite a run-in with UBC student council the Indian Youth Co-operative House for
Girls is flourishing.
The house was almost destroyed by AMS
bureaucracy.
"It was typical petty student politics,"
said Ann Jamieson, arts 4, chairman of the
co-op house board. "The project is far more
important than their rantings."
"Even though we were upset at the time,
the whole thing has been to our advantage,"
said Miss Jamieson.
"We now have a constitution and are
planing to incorporate under the Societies
Act of B.C."
"We were forced to examine the house
and our organization of it."
The Home was organized by the Canadian Union of Students executive on campus to provide a new home for Indian girls
presently living on skid row.
The plan originated in the summer of
1965 and a house was rented in April, 1966.
The house came to the attention of the
AMS when a disagreement between the
house mother and the house board brought
public attention.
"We, the board members, wanted the
house to be run co-operatively by the stu
dents but the house-mother misunderstood
and assumed an authoritarian control," Miss
Jamieson said.
Friends sympathetic with the housemother created a disturbance by phoning
people on and off campus to complain.
The AMS ordered an investigation into
the Home. The result was a brief that opened by justifying AMS interference in the
project.
(CUS is a member of the Clubs Committee of the AMS and UBC students sat on
the board of governors of the Home).
The brief listed several suggestions dealing with the re-organization of the Home
and of the board of governors. The statement also congratulated the students involved for their "commendable efforts."
"I asked the AMS executive not to present the brief to the council meeting as
some of the statements suggested revisions
might have had some serious legal ramifications when our constitution came before
the council for adoption in the spring," said
Miss Jamieson.
"Many of the suggestions in the brief
were already included in the constitution."
Despite Miss Jamieson's request, the executive railroaded the brief through council. MWSStY
Published Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays throughout the university year
by the Alma Mater Society of the University of B.C. Editorial opinions are
the editor's and not of the AMS or the university. Member, Canadian
University Press. Founding member, Pacific Student Press. Authorized
second class mail by Post Office Department, Ottawa, and for payment of
postage in cash.
The Ubyssey publishes Page Friday, a weekly commentary and review.
City editor, 224-3916. Other calls, 224-3242: editor, local 25; photo. Page
Friday, loc. 24; features, sports, loc. 23; advertising, loc. 26. Telex 04-5224.
Winner Canadian University Press trophies
for general excellence and editorial cartoons.
FEBRUARY 7, 1967
mmfflfflfflmmfflfflfflmmmimmm**'**««<&« &« «w«a«a5^
A neat idea
Last weekend's academic symposium at Squamish
took a hard run at the university problem — UBC is a
mill producing degrees stamped from a narrow view
of some facts instead of training graduates able to think
and analyze as   competent, aware human beings.
It was conceded that the arts faculty revisions are
a small step toward solving the problem, and another
small step was proposed from the experience gained
at San Francisco state college. There, students operate
their own credit university within a university: determining curriculum, hiring and teaching. The free university is beginning to attract more attention and support
from students than the real university.
The most captivating discussion at the symposium
centered on that idea — a student-operated program
at UBC.
The curriculum might be patterned after the successful but still experimental Tussman college at Berkeley, or might approximate UBC's new arts plan.
The subject matter should not be any one body
of knowledge — that's readily available in the usual
university courses. It should be directed toward a
broad area of human experience, and must encourage —
yea, insist — that students research and write and talk
extensively around that area, paying no heed to the
Confines of a single discipline.
Without credit to keep people involved through
exam time, free universities tend to dissolve into small
psychedelic dens talking mostly about better orgasms
through Marism Leninism. So a student program would
have to work with the administration, rather than against
it, to find a credit arrangement satisfactory to the senate
yet free of the usual marks and exams. San Francisco
has done that.
It could be taught by scholars hired by the AMS
—San Francisco retained sociologist Paul Goodman last
year — aided by professors who voluntarily donate their
time.
First year's getting new arts, at least in a pilot
version. Nearly everybody agrees academic reform is
overdue. Student government could take a meaningful
role and lead the reform, rather than hanging back
to play with the superfluous side effects as it usually
does.
Whitethighs
You 'don't make gourmets or great chefs by teaching
people about their stomach plumbing, but apparently
Dr. Anne Juhasz thinks you make sexually adequate and
happy people by teaching the proper terminology for
their sexual piping.
She draws this remarkable conclusion after conducting a. Sex Knowledge Inventory, which mosty
proved nobody gives a damn about their own innards.
We suggest Dr. Juhasz should conduct another
survey, designed to uncover sexual proficiency among
students, since we're sure more people want to be
good at sex than want to know all about the anatomy
of it.
We can predict the results — our own surveys
indicate most people are lousy lovers — and we suggest
the remedy: laboratory courses in lovemaking for higTi
school students.
But we know Dr. Juhasz wouldn't consider such
a move, and even if she did, the laboratory would be a
dismal, white enamel place.
She's like all the other sexual puritans masquerading as human beings. They'd like everybody to know
what organ they're using for which action, but not how
to do it well, and for god's sake don't do it now.
EDITOR: 4879632 Ex teeny-bopper Boni Lee turned    twenty.    Don    Stanley    heard
News    9443640 about   sex   surveys,   Mary   Ussner
-. heard  anarchists,   Norman  Gidney
ury    8173621 heard   about   students   making
photo                     3464602 clean    books    dirty.     These     also
heard   and   wrote:   Dave   Cursons,
Page Friday 3335651 Judy   Bing,   Janie  Laidlaw,   Helen
-                                                /.«.»«.-___ Manning,    Manager   McMillan,
hocus 2370650 Councillors   Emmott   and   Marylin
Snorts                                             3930__I3 Hill,   Charlotte  Haire,   Peter  Sha-
M    . -                                        ""w piro,     Peggy    Eng,     Val     Zuker,
Managing   5624664 Jackie  Leahy,   Margaret  Ladbury,
A««'» M.w.                                    no-.?-.*. Fern  Miller,   and  David  Hastings.
asst News 0963631 Sportswatchers were Ross
Ass'f City       _     5842621      Evans, Mike Jessen, Tony Hodge,
Bev   Feather,   Pio  Uran,  and  Jim
CUP .-..- 3638650     Maddin.
njp<-~5a»t$    W
Holy   mushroom   .   .   .   another  trip   like that   and
ifs back to glue sniffing.
WAYMAN  AT  IRVINE
Reagan or Attila?
Irvine's trouble with the
community about the appearance of the Mime Troupe
should have been considered
indicative of its problems to
come.
That's using hindsight, of
course, and since Orange
County has a name for being
the most conservative area
of the U.S. anyway, no one
at the school gave much
thought to the various resolutions by local American
Legion chapters condemning
UCI for being immoral.
SDS did its bit to antagonize the neighbors by leading
a sit-in at the nearby El Toro
Marine Corps Air Facility
last year, and the rumbling
about that one, too, was still
in evidence this fall.
In November, it seemed the
temper of Orange County was
rather strongly anti-UC.
State senator John Schmitz,
running for re-election locally,
told the Irvine student newspaper he had joined the John
Birch Society "to get the
moderate vote in Orange
County". He calculated proudly that for every liberal-
minded professor the school
introduced into the community, he could be sure that
the various retirement housing projects which fill the
area would bring in three or
four good American conservatives.
Schmitz and fellow-conservative Ronald Reagan both
were elected in November,
Reagan by one million votes.
And both Schmitz and Reagan had run on a platform
which prominently included
a vow to "clean-up" UC.
Soon   after   taking    office
Jan. 1, Reagan began waving
around the sharp-edge of his
newly-acquired political
power. He announced that in
order to balance the state's
budget, it was necessary to cut
each area of spending by 10
per cent.
This included education,
and the State College and
UC systems reacted with outraged amazement at his proposals.
Backed by a fairly friendly
press, state educators attempted to concentrate their ire on
Reagan's announced compensation for the education budget cut — tuition. The new
Governor first stated that
tuition would be about $400.
Somewhat daunted by the
resultant uproar, he subsequently said tuition might be
something less than that. And
it all depends on the state
legislature anyway, he reminded Californians.
"However," he said most
recently, with some of his old
flare, "anybody in this state
who thinks there is going to
be no tuition is living under
a rock."
Denial and counter-charge,
of course, added to the confusion. "It's always painful
to see a man get his political
education while in office,"
one of the Irvine professors
remarked to me. And this
seemed to be the extent of
Reagan's threat — a sort of
weak joke.
After all, the UC Board of
Regents (similar to UBC's
board of governors in composition) was standing firmly
behind UC president Clark
Kerr in his opposition to Reagan's wavering demands.
Shotgun
Sunday is
apple day
By AL HORST
Watching Sunday on our
television last Sunday, we
saw a Texas state representative who would pass a law
allowing both husbands and
wives to shoot the other's
lover should the offended
party to a marriage catch the
other half in bed with a third
party.
Presently, the smiling fat
man said, only Texas husbands have this right.
Terrific, we murmured softly in Brown-eyes' brown ear,
as watched her dialing the
telephone.
Then we heard the man tell
a Sunday gremlin it was all
right to shoot the other party
to the marriage too, if you
did it while trying to kill the
third party.
Gee, we thought, if you got
them both, nobody could
prove it wasn't an accident
while trying to get the other
party.
Brown-eyes murmered into
the telephone and snuck softly from under the solace of
our arm and out of the living
room.
We heard the tintinabula-
tion of car keys.
We oiled our pistol.
The toilet flushed and from
the corner of our eye we saw
her tuck an empty diaphragm
case into her purse.
We grinned assent when
she announced she was going
out for the evening and
changed the channel, weary
of the fat Texan and his
LBJ hat. Then we played
a merry roundelay on our
cello preparatory to bashin'
a few back at the corner pub.
There, as we huddled in
our merry group around the
shuffleboard betting beers
with our cronies, we saw
Brown-eyes stroll across the
sawdust floor with HIM.
He was tall and thin and
furry like the easter bunny.
We sat with them and asked his name.
"G. E. Moore," he said
suavely. And this is my wife
Brown-eyes."
Her narrow eyes grew
bloodshot as we tapped with
the ferrule of our sword-cane
the large wooden crate he
carried on his back.
"Moore,"   we   said,   "Have
you any apples in the box?"
"No," he replied.
"Moore,"   we   said,   "Have
you some apples in the box?"
"No," he replied.
We quaffed our beer and
ate a peanut, thinking furiously.
"Aha," we said. "Moore,
have you apples in that box?"
"Yes," he replied, wagging his long, cuckold-like
ears.
And from that day forth
we three have been the best
of friends. THE RED RAG
We won't be
VANCOUVER, B.C., TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 7, 1967
boxed in
"HOLD ITI I think you're gonna like this picture!" says the <culturally-minded redman to
his scantily-clad friend. Friend's comments were not recorded, but photographer
Yousuf Karsh, noted that he maintained the same stoney-faced expression throughout the portrait session. Picture was taken in front of the tower of Babel, during the
annual EUS pilgrimage to Mecca.
Finagles universal laws
for naive engineers
(Courtesy of the International
Society of Philosophical
Engineers)
Axiom 1 In any calculation,
an error which can creep in
will do so.
Axiom 2 Any error in any
calculation will be in the
area of most harm.
Axiom 3 In any formula, constants (especially those obtained from engineering
handbooks) are to be treated
as variables.
Axiom 4 The best approximation of service conditions in
the laboratory will not begin to meet those conditions
encountered in actual service.
Axiom 5 The most vital dimension on any plan or
drawing stands the greatest
chance of being omitted.
Axiom 6 If a test installation
functions perfectly, all subsequent production units
will mal-function.
Axiom 7 Parts that positively
cannot be assembled in improper order will be.
Axiom 8Interchange-
able parts won't.
Axiom 9 Any device requiring service or adjustment
will be least accessible.
Axiom 10 Service Conditions
as given on specifications
will be exceeded.
A_$iom 11 If, in engineering
practice, a safety factor is set
through service experience
at an ultimate value, an ingenious idiot will promptly
calculate a method to exceed said safety factor.
Axiom 12 Warranty and guarantee clauses are voided by
payment  of  the invoice.
Note: The Society does not
feel that the above compilation is necessarily complete,
so we have been asked to request additions to the list. All
such additions mailed to C.P.E.
will be printed in future issues
to keep our readers up to date
on this important phase of
engineering.
What only
one ball?
Yes — This year the engineers of UBC will hold one
ultra-gigantic ball instead of the pair of smaller balls as in
years previous.
A detailed analysis by EUS
detail analyzers showed that
the facilities at the Comodore
Ballroom, where balls were
hung—er—held in past years,
were not adequate for Godiva's
followers.
The obvious solution was to
find a new location where the
whole engineering student body
could congregate on one evening to make merry and any
others of the fair sex.
Mechanical Engineering Computer Experts gathered in data
obtained by EUS socialites
who carried out an exhausting
eight-week research program
(binge—Ed.).
By sifting through this material and translating it from
the backs of wet beer-bottle
lables onto I.B.M. cards, the
Mechs designed a Fortran program to handle the job.
Old I.B.M. 1470 never had it
so tough — but after three
breakdowns, two oil changes
and a lube job, it spat out the
remarkable answer.
After the EUS researchers
had conducted their iball study,
only the PNE Showmart
Building was deemed sturdy
enough to handle the Red Mass,
and, besides—it was only place
left standing.
Scarlet knight
chases Godiva
The campus will shake and
tremble from Monday, Fefb.
6 to Friday, the tenth as
the UIBC Redmen demonstrate
that the twentieth century disease called apathy has not yet
penetrated and overcome the
strongholds of the EUS.
Engineers will stage a series
of cunning stunts, hold the infamous EUS pep meet, frolic
at the Engineers' Ball, and publish that marvellous and undeniably evil wonder of pornography, The Red Rag.
Despite the efforts of the
Women's Christian Temperance
Union, the pep meet will ibe
held in the auditorium at 12:30
p.m. on Tuesday, traditionally
the second day of Engineering
Week.
The meeting is restricted to
engineers and their mothers
only, so lesser species are well
advised to stay clear.
"Scarlet Knight" will be the
title of the 1967 superball at
the PNE Showmart Building.
Scarlet Knight obviously (ho,
ho — Ed.) symbolizes a continental theme and, in keeping
with this pattern, each branch
of Engineering will decorate
its section to represent a portion of Europe.
The night "turns scarlet" at
8:30 p.m. and runs red until
the last man falls in the small
hours of Saturday morning.
SPORTS
SCORES
From the Little Big Horn:
INDIANS 74, CUSTER 0.
From the colliseum: LIONS
5, CHRISTIANS zip.
From the Tower of London:
HENRY 8, ANN BOLEYN -1.
From Dallas: CHARLES
WHITMAN 26, STATE TROOPERS 1.
From the kitchen: AJAX
WHITE KNIGHT 4, TIGER IN
TIDE 0 (white washed).
From the John: EXLAX 1,
YOU LOSE.
From Victoria: BENNETT
WINS, WE ALL LOSE.
LOOK HERE FIRSTl
In accordance with the Red Rag's policy of catering
in every way possible to its readers across the country,
the editor has devised these handy thumb spots you
see on the edge of the page.
No longer do you have to move yo
| hands to see what's under your thuml
Just follow the simple directions, and j
you're on your way to speedy, carefree
completion of the Red Rag:
1. Place thumb in specially designed
(by   Great   Mech)    thumb   printt.
2. Squeeze paper gently.
3. You are now holding your copy of the Red Rag
and will not be able to let go since we have
surfaced the paper with instant drying, super-
stick contact cement. THE RED RAG
Published one* a year by Hi* venerable Engineering Undergraduate Society In the Interest of human kindness.
Opinion expressed In this issue are not those of the EUS,
but of the Independent and omnlpowerful Editorial Board who shall
here  remain  nameless except for a  ridiculous pseudonym.
Printed In 39 different languages, 4 dialects, and braille, not
including the Anguish Languish spoken hereabouts.
Subscription rate: Canada and its possessions: te.OO per annum.
Poland: J Zloty and 65 Srozy.
//,
L"
Give me decency or give me death'
Otis Prout (1823-1825)
Editorial Board: John Mohler
Contributing Pseudonyms: Alec Purdy
Kallme Don Allen
Grant Cramond
Dave Malcolm
Eric Oooch
And a special boquet to Carol Wilson of The Ubyssey staff.
What the hell?
And so you might ask, "What is this thing, the Red
Rag?" The Red Rag plays a multifarious role, existing
not only to entertain and amuse, but also to disturb
and agitate.
Engineers are noted for their stunts, and the good
ones all have one thing in common—a purpose. That's
how you should look at this effort—a stunt—a great
hoax designed to take you for a ride.
Have a laugh on us, sneer a little at our lack of
taste and sophistication, and swear at our crassness.
Our purpose is straightforward.
This issue is dedicated to taking a swipe at the
snots in our campus environment.
The righteous people who have the world figured
out.
The intellectuals with all the easy solutions to
Vietnam.
The wealthy respectables who hide behind mahogany doors, but are unable to feel anything because of
their money-tranquilized brains.
The religious, with a supposed purpose in life, who
go so blindly on with a misguided strength derived from
an ancient myth meant only to ease the suffering of
the impoverished.
Take some of this potpourri for what it is, and no
more.
But of the rest, if you look carefully, you might see
a reflection of yourself . . . and have a chuckle at your
own expense.
A time for . . .
A little flag-waving and horn-blowing is in order for
Canadians this year. We've come a long way from our
wooden hut, igloo, and teepee origins.
We hope that in this centennial year, our poly-
glotenus society will rally around a common cause for
celebrations. Let's hope every Canadian, from the Queen
Charlottes to Paddy's Cove, will drop his flat-butted
conservatism, to shout and maybe brag a. little — about
being Canadian.
Let's leave our backyard garbage-can philosophy
behind and make some noise. Let's tell the world who the
hell we are. Let's set an example for other nations to
follow.
LAST IN A SERIES OF FAMOUS INVENTORS - Benjamin
Franklin was out flying a kite one night (that's the kind
of man he was) when it lodged in some high-tension
wires, between two B.C. Hydro poles. He was hit by a
dangerous 20 kilowatt pulse of electricity. Luckily, just
at that moment, he had a 20 kilowatt Canadian G.E.
bulb in his mouth. The bulb was so bright, it burnt his
nose! This was acclaimed by the Nobel Committee as
"The Outstanding Engineering Feat of 1967". And so.
electricity and tanning-lamps were simultaneously discovered.
TRUE GENT
When Harry's friend got
him a blind date, he didn't tell
Harry this lovely blonde was
confined to her wheelchair,
since she was born with no
legs.
But she was so beautiful
that Harry was game ... he
rolled her out and across into
the park for a date.
She was as oversexed as
she was pretty, too, and it
wasn't long until Harry followed her instructions, hung
her by the coat collar on the
iron fence of the park and
made out . . . WAY out . . .
with her!
Then he wheeled her home,
where her brother met them
at the door. "Your sister is
wonderful, a real lady in
every sense of the word," said
Harry.
Her brother smiled and
shook Harry's hand saying
"And you. Sir, are a true
gentleman. Most of her dates
just leave her hanging there
on the fence, and I have to get
her down."
■.-. ^aw-wwiw"
OUR READERS WRITE
July,  1932
Dear Editor,
As der chancellor off Der
Koenig Reich Germany, I haf
taken it upon meinselven to
write you about un impen-
dink  danger.
Der Reich ist very schtable
and strong at der moment,
but a vild youngk man ist
trying to upset our Parliament. His nam ist Adolf Hitler (nee Schicklegruber).
In der interests off freedom off der Vestern Vorld
und every-vuns security, ve
must qvietly detain dis individual. Der omnitriumphant
UBC Engineers are veil
known for der cunningk
stunts, und dynamic performances to uphold der justice in
all der cornerstones of society.
Could you qvietly kidnap
dis individual, und possibly
hold him in de UBC F-arts
faculty for un year? Un yar
in F-arts vill turn anyvun
into un vegetable.
Danke Muchens. Remember . . . please be qvick.
Milt   Much   Respects,
Karl, Von Hindenburg
Ed. Note: This letter arrived last week by Zeppalen
Mail Special Delivery — delayed by head winds, said the
pilot.
Oct.   22,   1964
Dear Editor,
Your huge curculation
(even in the U.S.) will really
help me get across my message to the American people.
I'm running for the Presidency of the U.S. and my
platform is:
1. H-Bomb Hanoi! H-Bomb
China's main cities! We must
stop this radical, pinko, weir-
die-beardie, robot, rotten
communist  disease  from  ad
vancing any further.
2. Withdraw all trade, aid,
and diplomatic recognition of
any country in the world that
harbors   these   commie   rats.
3. Improve America's morals. Remove left-wing trash
literature and trash people
from society. Burn all pornographic books. Make America pure for our children and
animals.
Keep   up   the   good   work!
When  I   win,  the   EUS   will
be  glorified  in my speeches!
B.   GOLDWATER
Oct. 22, 1965
Dear Editor,
The Red Rag is obviously
very popular amongst our
Red Guards. To see you organized as a people's mass
makes tears of happiness rise
into my eyes. I give you my
year-end message to all the
peoples and the masses of the
world:
1. H-Bomb Saigon! H-Bomb
decadent U.S.A.'s main cities.
We must stop this reactionary, selfish, corrupt, right-
wing imperialist disease from
advancing any further!
2. Withdraw all our wonderful communist brothers
from these lazy rich capitalist nations.
3. Abolish anything that
isn't the government! The
People's Proletariat Republic
should .control all the workers' lives. Only this way can
greedy war - mongering capitalists swine be stopped from
enslaving the masses.
4. Improve the workers'
lives. Make them read communist books! Make them eat
rice, make everyone identical. Burn all right-wing trash,
and make China pure for the
future!
Keep the Proletariat Revo-
ution    burning    in    Canada!
Make Canada another China!
M.   TSE-TUNG
July   1,   1966
Dear Editor.
Hello again to my friends,
the UBC Engineers! Oh,
how you hardy fellows do
carouse and make Mary!
Goddam, if only I were potent
enough to be one of you!
Well, lunch today was
steak-and-chips, and after I'd
finished, I remembered it was
Friday. How silly of me!
Reason for my sending you
this letter is to offer you boys
a reduced rate on a few train
loads of birth control pills
which my monks confiscated
at some of our convents.
The Italian war jokes have
cought on like wildfire here!
Polish jokes are no longer
"in". By the way, the Rome
Police raided last week's
party, complaining about all
the broads and priests that
were stoned out of their
minds.
Remember, sons, have a
healthy sex life, don't be
afraid to drink and swear,
and for God's sake, don't
come to our church!
POPE PAUL  VI
Loyd Snyder denies any
affiliation with The Red Rag.
After the Nazi had ravaged
her, he looked at the naked
girl and said: "In nine months
you will have a child, you may
call him Hitler."
She stared directly into his
eyes and said, "In about two
days you will have a rash, you
may call it measles."
RED!
Why  is  the  Red  Rag  red?
Obviously a commie-front
operation. Hail the Red Guardl Tuesday, February 7,  1967
THE      RED      RAG
Page 3
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HORSEFLY, Ala. (ENS) —
It was learned today that Oral
Roberts has been suffering for
the past five years from epilepsy, arthritis, blindness, and a
host of other ailments for
which there is no known cure.
Centennial
is a hoax
A manuscript was discovered
recently, in Glasgow, Scotland*
establishing that Canada is not
100 years old! On it were the
signatures of King Henry VIII,
George Washington, Attila the
Hun, Napoleon, Cleopatra, and
Steve Whitelaw.
"Henceforth," it reads, "Canada's domains will lie longitudinally from the equator to the
arctic circle, and encompass the
New World. He assets are unequalled. To pacify Canada's
might, Her Royal Highness
Munsinger will have soverign
power over Britain, Carthage,
France, Poland, the Mercantile
Bank, and Disneyland. These
nations will be bound to give
20 per cent of their gross national product to the capital
city, Halifax, every year.
At the 1767 news conference,
in Kamloops, Sir John A. MacDonald told a television audience:
"Britain has agreed to give us
the British Empire by 1812,
and Premier George Washington will govern our poorest
province, America, below the
42nd parallel. Poland will send
us a book of jokes."
"What a start for Canada!"
Sir John A. exclaimed, tucking
away a bottle of Seagrams 83.
"By our 1867 Centennial, I promise two frorses in every stable,
logs over every head, and 67
francs in every pocket!"
FOR THE EDIFICATION of those who would peruse what
lies below, this replica of a magazine title page was
found decorating the inside of a campus trash can. Along
with it were other examples of hate literature: The
Reader's Digest and Words.
WE  ST/SKT FROM
THfc TOP   AND WORK.
Down"
Help wanted—Men
The personnel office is
again offering, to graduates, a limited number of
positions with the Buildings and Grounds Dept.
Qualifications:
—Must he honors graduate with at least one of
the following: BA, BEd,
BComm, BSc, BCivil,
DD, LLD.
—Must be able to work
with others.
—V e r t ical sonumbular
ability an asset, bilingual.
Features: This is an attractive position serving
an academic community.
Ample opportunities to
work outdoors, raincoats
provided). Minimum of
shift work. Statutory holidays with pay. Tutoring
in laboring theory available at reduced rates.
Salaries 75c — $1.25 per
hour depending upon academic qualifications. (Add
50c for Civils.) Those who
qualify may register at
NW corner of C lot, Feb.
27, 1967, 7:30 a.m. Bring
your lunch.
GOOCH
Peace mongers
go down again
That day, as usual, I ran
down Wesbrook Crescent for
the 7:33 bus, my suit barely
cool from the ironing and my
hair still wet from the shower.
As I ran along, watching the
horizon in hope that a UFO
would appear, I tripped on
something and slid along the
grass and mud.
I got up and raged back to
trample the pile of clothes
that some idiot had left on the
curb.
My God! The guy was still
inside them. It was a student
beatnik, and he was crying.
Sympathy replaced my fury.
I sat down quietly beside him
and asked the only appropriate
question I knew.
"Why are you crying, little
boy?"
"Because they can't see," he
said, "and will destroy the
world!" The sobs quietly con-
tined.
I began thinking about the
theories I read on spacecraft
and extraterrestials, and decided that his statement was
bunkum.
Nevertheless, he seemed sincere, and deserved consideration.
"Are you sure,"I said, noticing what must have been his
picket sign lying in the street.
It said "DOWN WITH JOHNSON", tout I was sure it was a
joke because who could have
anything against a fine fellow
like the President?
"Positive."
I deliberated for some time,
watching a cement truck rumble up the street towards us,
and began wishing we weren't
on the curb. The truck devastated the sign and shrieked to
a halt.
The driver, thinking he had
run over some students, leaped
from the cab and ran toward
us.
But when he learned that we
were still alive, he quickly
dropped his smile.
"Off the road, you filthy
beatniks," he shouted.
I jumped up and shouted, "I
ain't filthy."
He looked at my muddy suit
and farted. He continued
breaking wind until he reached
the cab.
I resumed my seat beside the
'bearded fellow, who had now
ceased weeping and was just
looking gloomy.
A member of the fraternity
in whose house I board was
coming along toward us.
"Hi Julien,"I said. Simultaneously ignoring me and glaring
at the beatnik, he quickened
his pace and waged a running
verbal battle with the beardie.
"Lousy Communist hate
monger!"
"Filthy Fascist Imperialist!"
"Russian Red Rat!"
"American Nazi war criminal!"
CONTINUED
. . . over there
S3*f
.9.J>W1. Page 4
THE      RED      RAG
Tuesday,   February  7,   1967
<£aw oa, it AkouLcL bsb
One evening after the theatre,
two gentlemen were walking
down the avenue when they
observed a rather well-dressed and attractive lady walking
just ahead of them. One of the
men turned to the other and
remarked: "I'd give fifty dollars to spend the night with
that woman".
To their surprise, the young
lady overheard the remark
and turned around and said:
"I'll take you up on that".
The following morning the
man presented her with
twenty-five dollars and prepared to leave. She demanded
the rest of the money, saying:
"If you don't give me the
twenty-five dollars, I'll sue you
for it".
The next day he was surprized to receive a summons
ordering his appearance in
court, and hurried to his lawyer and explained the details
of the case.
Computer on a pub crawl
Take money
from wallet
and hide
in shoe
t"
Enter bar
Is  _
''someoneN.NO
'about to buy
t.a round?
'yes
Leave bar
for five
minutes
Join group
at bar
*
Accept drink
*
Drink two
mouthfuls
of beer
Lie down
under table
Choose
most drunken
member
of group
Examine
wallet and
lament lack
of money
The lawyer said: "She can't
possibly get a judgment
against you on such grounds,
but it will be interesting to see
how her case it presented".
After the preliminaries, the
lady's lawyer addressed the
court as follows: "Your Honor,
my client, this lady here, is the
owner of a piece of property,
a garden spot surrounded by a
profuse growth of shrubbery,
which she agreed to rent to the
defendant for a specified
length of time for a sum of
fifty dollars.
"The defendant took possession of the property, used it
extensively for the purpose for
which it was rented, but upon
evacuating the premises, he
paid only twenty-five dollars,
one-half the amount agreed
upon. The rent was not excessive since it is restricted property, and we ask judgment to
be granted against the defendant to assure payment of the
balance.
The defendant's lawyer was
amused,  and replied,
"Your Honor", he said, "my
client agrees that the young
lady has a fine piece of property, that he did rent such
property, for a time, and a degree of pleasure was derived
from the transaction.
"However, he found a well
on the property, around which
he placed his own stones, sunk
a shaft and erected a pump, all
laboring performed personally
by him.
"We claim these improvements to the property were
sufficient to offset the unpaid
amount, and that the plaintiff
was adequately compensated
for rental of said property. We,
therefore, ask that no judgment be granted".
The lady's lawyer came back
with this: "Your Honor, my
client agrees that the defendant  did  find  a  well  on  her
property and that he did make
improvements such as my
opponent described.
"However, had the defendant
not known the well existed, he
would never have rented the
property. Also, upon evacuating the premises, the defendant removed the stones, pulled
out the shaft and took the
pump with him.
In so doing, he not only
dragged his equipment
through the shrubbery, but
left the hole much larger than
it was prior to his occupancy,
making it easily accessible to
little children. We, therefore,
ask the judgment be granted."
. . . and she got it . . .
CRITICAL PATH
A walk around campus
By GRANT CRAMOND
A ludicrous group seeks
greater 'world understanding'
in the Auditorium Caf. These
fellows attempt a transition of
the sexes, and for them, a
woman's lisp and place replace
her lips and a piece.
The pursuit of arts is a curious self-sustaining circus. Taking arts courses is interesting,
but the relevance of many
fields to productivity is minimal. The projected effectiveness which is displayed by
arts students would suggest
their unsuitatoility in any other
pursuit. Scattered throughout
the classes of these improba-
bles, are wax-faced women
who will walk to Brock with
you if you dress properly.
Brock people are so clean-
looking you wonder how the
mannikins can move. When
they speak, it is a hollow
sound, falling on hollow bodies, very sad but appropriate
that father's success, and
mother's beauty is thusly reflected in Brock. A short jaunt
behind Brock will take you to
the Club Huts.
Folk Soc. is a club where
they play music to folk by.
Some are bitter about this, tout
they probably can't even play
a mouth organ. Talk existentialism correctly, and you will
be considered a Radical, then
vomit back all the drivel that
you have heard there, and how
much more at ease these creatures will be with you.
Frat Row caters to all types,
but money really helps. The
cement of Frats and Sororities
is the bond of common inferiority. In groups, women become cats, men become women.
In dorms, a time limit of
11 p.m. is supposed to thwart
actions which can be tidily
committed in 30 minutes. Now
head for the Engineering Complex.
Engineering students, as a
whole are the soundest bunch
of bastards on campus. Damn
right that we raise hell! A
minimum of 32 hours a week,
and having to pass all 10-11
courses every year, is rugged.
Walk softly in the halls of
Engineering, if you aren't in
Applied Science; you are allowed classes in our great
building on pure suffrage.
While me may clown around
a bit, and piss it up a lot, just
realize that we don't get the
highest starting salaries for
piddling away our time on
campus!
CLASSIFIED
WAR SURPLUS: LARGE SUPPLY
of M-14 auto, rifles. Harmless—
firing pins removed—can be used
as kiddie toys, planters, etc.
 —Army  and  Navy  Ltd.
WANTED: YOUNG MEN! MUST
be healthy and husky. Ask for
Lea.  Phone 254-3127.
WANTED: NEW LIVING QUAR-
ters. Prefer room near transportation facilities. Reply before Feb.
16,  please.—R.  Castellan!.
WHAT WAS THE NAME OF
Kerry Drake's  first -wife?	
SCANDAL. EX-BELLBOY, FALSE-
ly accussed of spreading rumors,
seeks employment. Any position
acceptable.	
ONE-UPMANSHIP DEPT. — ASK
around—Find out what the Federal Minister of Trade and Com-
merce studied at university.	
LOST: PARENTS OF FRESHETTE
would like to meet engineer that
dated her last Friday night. Would
like to discuss something lost on
that  particular  night.
HELP WANTED: YOUNG MEN
willing to take chances, for a
South Seas construction firm. Excellent pay, great chance for promotion because of high early retirement rate. Must be swift of
foot, knowledge of self - defense
helpful. Job is assured for sometime to come. Transportation and
parachute provided for Inward
journey. Return trip.or shipment of
remains,  also guaranteed.	
WHO THE HELL IS SURFER
Svisdahl?	
WHAT'S WRINKLED, BROWN
and wears a truss? ... A prune
with a hernia.
EVERY MAN HAS HIS WIFE, BUT
the   ice  man  has  his  pick.	
WHAT HAVE YOU GOT IF
you've got a moth ball in one
hand and a moth ball in the other
hand? . . . You've got the biggest
damn moth  in the country.
FOR SALE: 3000 M-14 FIRING
pins. Shipper's mistake. Will sell
cheap to right party—Wosk's Ltd.
Red Rag Editor Retires Tuesday,   February  7,   1967
THE       UBYSSEY
Page 5
Candidates cry. Vote me1
For president...
Sullivan
other people of the validity of our aims.
This is why strikes, legislature sit-ins and
other negative acts can ibe no part of my
plan. Such actions only alienate those who
can help us. If you oppose the strike, please
vote for me.
SHAUN SULLIVAN
I am sure that by now most students are
aware I am running on a "no strike" platform. In classes I have visited my message
has been simply: "If you want a strike, vote
for my opponent. He wants one. But if you
want responsible, realistic leadership, please
vote for me." I think the choice in this election is that simple, that clear-cut.
The AMS constitution restricts presidential candidates to 100-word campaign statements. The Ubyssey feels this insufficient,
and, as in previous years, has alloted candidates 350 words to make their case. Other
offices remain at the constitutional 100
words.
We apologise to second vice-presidential
candidate Maynard Hogg, whose seconder's
statement was lost in the Thursday chaos
that is our in-baskei. Below find both a candidates and seconder's statement for Hogg.
But, in this policy statement, I would
like to deal with more than just the strike.
The following are my goals if elected AMS
president:
1. Rallying of public support for higher
education with a vital and urgent program
similar to the Back Mac campaign. It will
require mobilization of all the resources we
have. The message will be a meaningful one
directed to every taxpayer in the province:
"Unless you help us now to convince the
government of our needs, your child could
be denied a university education.
2. A new (to the AMS) concern for the
quality of the education we are receiving:
Appointment of student representation to the
UBC senate. Grants for faculties publishing
anti-calendars.
3. An end to residence rent increases by
financing residences on the same basis as
academic buildings.
4. Strengthening of undergrad societies
and their programs with increased grants.
5. A new look at the so-called academic
activities of the AMS. We must create symposia available to all, not just the fringe element. We must end political domination of
the special events committee.
6. Creation of an independent grants
commission.
7. Creation of an AMS more responsive
to the needs of the students.
My experience includes membership on
parliamentary council and three years of
campus political activity.
It must ibe clear that the success of much
of my program — increased grants, new residence financing and representation to the
senate — depends on our ability to convince
Cruise
This year I stood outside the AMS and
watched it with dismay. After fighting last
year's president Byron Hender's refusal to
take a strong stand against the fee increase,
I left the first vice-president's position convinced that change could be better brought
about from outside the AMS.
But we have seen more AMS briefs,
more AMS delegations, more do-nothing
committees, and more hollow election promises. We have seen Brock blazer bureaucrats promoting Pearson in sod-turning ceremonies for the SUB (the $5 million white
elephant in the student playpen zoo).
This year less than one per cent of the
campus had anything to do with AMS council. We have been so conditioned to expect
careerists and opportunists in the AMS that
alternatives seem impossible.
But there is clear alternative. "Action
program" asks that we support a policy and
not a personality; that we elect a president
on a platform and not platitudes; that we
begin a serious assessment of the 'knowledge factory' which finds us studying at
10 per cent capacity because the work is
dull and poorly presented; that we organize
unqualified opposition to any fee increase
(which could go as high as $100 next year);
and that we create at UBC an authentic
student movement with long range goals of
social change.
I ask that you refuse to be taken in by
the usual campaign promises of the bureau-
crats-on-the-make about more money for
clubs and undergraduate societies and better
public relations for the AMS. This has been
the platform for the AMS establishment for
over ten years! It is not a platform at all
but only a catchbag of campaign lollypops
for the uninformed voters.
"Action program" favors increased AMS
academic programming: more symposia,
conferences, teach-ins, and noon hour special events. At present, less than two per cent
of our $29 fee goes for these projects. Instead, over 50 per cent of the budget is
poured into SUB!
Student government should not mean
blazers, parking stickers behind Brock,
fancy dinners and future job contacts for
the chosen few.
Let's put an end to waffling and selling-out. Let's give student government some
clear direction. I ask you to consider "action program" and candidates Doug Halverson for (2nd VP) and myself who are
supporting it.
BOB CRUISE
_t5SiSW»SJf -£- Ci&raraft' \Zt TTWilWMft VSCT %^~SsSM«?& -^V.
For second vice-president...
Hogg
I am honored to second the
nomination of Maynard Hogg
for the position of second vice-
president, a position whose
principal role is that of public
relations. This is a post to be
filled by a responsible person, particularly in view of
the bad press which UBC is
presently receiving, because
of motions supporting a student strike or boycott of classes, and which do little to
enhance our prospects of gaining public support for increased expenditure on
higher education.
I sincerely believe Mr. Hogg
to be such a responsible per
son — one who is needed at
this time and who is willing
to serve his university conscientiously.
GLEN PERKINS.
If you are interested in getting increased government
aid, vote for me. First, I will
involve the AMS with the
student's primary interest,
getting a quality education.
I will do this by making my
office a sounding board for
student complaints. Using this
renewed student interest in
AMS affairs, I, as public relations officer for the AMS,
will be able to convince the
public that university students are demanding increas
ed government aid not
because they are la?y or looking for something to demonstrate about, but because they
are honestly concerned.
MAYNARD HOGG.
Campbell
Bored or bewildered by
AMS elections? I don't blame
you. How many students really know the who, what or
why of student government?
The second vice president
(public relations officer) of
the AMS should be concerned
with informing not only the
downtown   media,   but   also
To page 8
see: MORE GODDAM
The New
Tenant
comedy of
the absurd
by  Eugene lonesco
directed  by Judith  Penner
FREDERIC WOOD
STUDIO
Thursday
Feb. 9
12:30
Friday
Feb.  10
25c
WHEN THE NIGHT BEGINS
AND THE VANCOUVER LIGHTS
SHINE
ITALIAN   PARADISE  SWINGS.
.   Take an Angel to
the  Paradise
Enjoy the best Italian Dish
Open   every   night   except   Sunday
5:00 p.m. — 2:00 a.m.
LIVE BAND
NO COVER CHARGE
SPECIAL
U.B.C.  STUDENT DISCOUNT
10%  to  15%  on weekday*
ITALIAN PARADISE
CABARET
1047 Granville       685-9412
METALLIC SWEATSHIRTS
at the
College Shop
BROCK EXTENSION
Limited Supply — Buy One For Spring (?), Today
Alma Mater Society
OFFICIAL NOTICES
AMS NOTICES
Elections:
Nominations are now being received for the positions
of First Vice-president, Treasurer, and Co-ordinator of
the Alma iMater Society student council. Eligibility
and nomination forms are available at the A.M.S.
General Office (S. Brock). The Second Slate Elections
will be held on February 15, 1967.
The First Slate Elections will be held on February 6
with advance polls on February 7, 1967.
NOTICE OF REFERENDUM
To be held on February 8. 1967 to be worded as follows:
"If the Provincial Government does not allocate $66
million to higher education in B.C. for the 1967-68 session
as recommened in the Macdonald Formula, would you
support a "Week of Concern for Higher Education" including a strike and further, would you be willing to serve
on a picket line?"
Yes
No
WORLD   GUP
RUGBY
*n
UBC "THUNDERBIRDS1
VS
Univ. of California "Golden Bears"
Thurs., Feb. 9 -12:45 Noon
Sat. Feb. 11 - 2:30 p.m.
VARSITY STADIUM
li A"
A" Cords Good - Support Your Team Page 6
THE      UBYSSEY
Tuesday,   February  7,   1967
1917-1967
50th ANNIVERSARY OF THE SOVIET
STATE
To mark this important event, we offer 10 special tours of
cities of importance in the Russian Revolution. Tourists
travelling on these tours will have an opportunity to see
historical Monuments and Museums; Modern Industrial
and Agricultural Enterprises and social institutions.
COME AND SEE US FOR DETAILS
HAGEN'S TRAVEL SERVICE LTD.
2996 W. BROADWAY
9 a.m. to 5 p.m. (including Sat.) 736-5651
FACULTY  MEMBERS  ARE   INVITED  TO   DISCUSS   HEADING  A  GROUP  OF
STUDENTS,  GRADUATES  OR FRIENDS   IN  RETURN  FOR  FREE TRAVEL.
Educational
bisrituft ltd.
TUTORIAL COLLEGE
University Subject*
Morris Huberman,
Educational Consultant
Knowledjte and Snceeaa
through Lean-bur rower
21 SS W. 12th Ave., Veecaaver
Fo» Appointment, Phon.
732-5535       263-4808
Set your sight in College
with glasses
from...
OPTICAL DEPT.
LONDON PDRUGS
f
Limited
TWO CONVENIENT LOCATIONS ONLY
Vancouver        e»__-__-_M__»*^-«--__»-_B--____-____i   New rVe,,minstar
677 Granville    B-TYT^TTTliV^lT^n      «75 Columbia
Opp. THE BAY
681-6174
li««
LA 1-0751
Opp. Army & Navy
"THE"   PLACE
to meet
your friends
is at the
The Diner
4556 W. 10th Ave.
Try  our delicious  T-bone
Steak $1.35
It's Really Good!
Full course meals
within your income
Student Meal Tickets
Available
STUDY IN
SOUTHERN FRANCE
A University year in Aix-en-Provence under
the auspices of the University of Aix-Mar-
seille (founded 1409).
EUROPEAN AREA STUDIES
FRENCH LANGUAGE
AND LITERATURE
HONORS PROGRAM
(courses in French University exclusively)
ART AND ART HISTORY
SOCIAL SCIENCES
MEDITERRANEAN AREA STUDIES
Classes in English and French satisfying
curriculum and credit requirements of over
280 American Colleges and Universities.
Students live in French homes. Total costs
equivalent to those at private universities
and colleges in the United States.
"SEMESTER PROGRAM IN AVIGNON"
"SUMMER PROGRAM
IN AIX-EN-PROVENCE"
Write:
INSTITUTE FOR
AMERICAN UNIVERSITIES
.    (founded 1957)
2 bis. rue du Bon Pasteur
aix-enprovence;. France
Telephone: France (Code 91) 27.82.39
or (Code 91) 27.69.01
&&&**#
SALE
SKIS - BOOTS - PARKAS
STEEL POLES-AFTER SKI BOOTS
STRETCH IE SLACKS
HEAD BANDS - TOQUES
NORTH WESTERN SPORTING GOODS LTD.
10th at Alma Phone 224-5040
Varsity hoopsters
in comfortable lead
Due to a double win on the weekend and the help of lady
luck, the UBC basketball Thunderbirds have a strong hold on
first place in the WCIAA standings.
Friday the Birds beat University of Manitoba Bisons 106-48.
Saturday the score wa_s 91-49.
Ian Dixon was the best for the Birds with 18 points in the
first game. Dave Rice topped the scorers with 16 in the second.
UBC is in first place with 22 points. Calgary is second with
16.
The Birds need only to win one more league game to
clinch the conference title.
This coming weekend the Birds travel to Olympia for two
exhibition games against St. Martins College.
The UBC basketball JV's picked the wrong time to lose
their first game in 31 against Junior Men's competition when
they lost 81-75 last Thursday against YMCA. The game tied the
best of three semi-finals at one win apiece. To stay in competition the JV's must win the last game which will be played this
Thursday at John Oliver gym.
The JV's were led by Rick Inrig with 23 points and Sam
Vandermeulen with 21.
JV coach Norm Watt grumbled, "It had to happen some
time."
Late losers in the swim
Although they did not win, the UBC swimming Thunder.
birds put up a good battle against the University of Alberta
Golden Bears on Saturday night.
Helped by a three win per-  ' :	
formance by Jim Maddin, the the Birds, Martin McLaren,
Birds were within reach of a placed second and third in the
victory until they lost the last   competitions.
400 meter  freestyle  relay.
They   then   dropped   the   200
metre   breastroke    to   UBC's
Other veterans who showed
successfully were Mark Le-
mieux, Frank Dorchester, and
Phil Winoh, but took the final  Rudi    Ingenhorst   who    each
relay.
Winch   also   won   the    200
metre individual medlay and vidual    medlay
placed in the 100 metre free-  Manager    Gary
style to score ten points,
placed third in the 200 metre
freestyle,   butterfly,   and  indi-
respectively.
Baker also
placed in the 200 metre back-
Diver  George  Fudge  swept stroke,
the diving by a large margin, The Birds are preparing for
followed by his  second  place their trip to Oregon this week-
teammate, Don Panton. end where they will meet both
A member of last year's U. University of Oregon and Ore-
of A. team, now swimming for gon State.
FIELD TIE TO BE TESTED
The UBC Thunderbirds face a cruical test this coming weekend in field hockey play.
The Birds meet the Jokers at 1 p.m. on Wolfson field.
Both teams are unbeaten in this season's play.
The Birds are two points ahead of the Jokers but have
played one more game and are slightly behind on goal average.
Jokers recently toured Mexico playing the Mexican National team which is training for the Olympics. They returned
with a 1-1-2 win-loss-draw record.
In other field hockey play coming up, Tomahawks play
Grass Hoppers C at 2:30 p.m. on Wolfson and Braves play Hawks
B at 2:30 p.m. on Spencer. All games are scheduled for Saturday.
Californians coming
to compete for cup
The battered old World Cup trophy which was donated
by the late John Nelson, publisher of the Vancouver
World newspaper in 1920, will be up for grabs this week.
The University of California Golden Bears and the
UBC Thunderbirds battle it out at Varsity Stadium Thursday at 12:45 p.m. and Saturday at 2:30 p.m. California
has won the trophy 14 times and UBC 13 times.
The Golden Bears won on points last year 45-35 when
each team won two games.
UBC coach Brian Wightman has done a fine job with
a very young team.
The Birds have played 13 games to date, winning
nine, tying one and losing three, amassing 163 points with
68 points scored against them. They are undefeated in the
Northwest Intercollegiate Conference, defeating: Western
Washington 9-0, University of Victoria 13-0, University
of Oregon 8-3, and Oregon State 11-0.
Dr. Miles Hudson, coach of the Golden Bears, will
'bring  a   strong  team  to the  UBC   campus.
The powerful Californians, averaging 20O lbs. per man
will considerably outweigh the Birds, who will have to
use speed and rugby know-how to offset the obvious weight
disadvantage. Tuesday,   February  7,  1967
THE      UBYSSEY
Page 7
The Aquatic Instructors' Association presents Dr. F. T. Stratton, giving a talk on
"Skin and Scuba Safety" at the SFA Gymnasium, 7:30 p.m., Thurs.
— powell hargrave photo
QUITE A GUEST, Sandy excelled on the
weekend to win  the   novice  singles title
and  share the junior  pairs  crown  with
Claire Newell for UBC.
Champions galore
among UBC girls
UBC's women athletes had a winning
weekend.
The figure-skating and gymnastic teams
both captured WCIAA Championships, and
the Thunderette basketball team continued
its winning ways with two victories over
the University of Saskatchewan Huskiettes.
Sandra Hartley and Leslie Bird, both
members of Canada's National Gymnastic
Team, led the way.
Sandra Guest was outstanding for the
figure skaters, in winning the novice singles
title, and teaming with Claire Newell to
win the junior pairs title. Other successful
UBC skaters were Trudy Norman, winner
of the intermediate singles title, and Louise
Lind, senior singles Champion.
Victory for the basketball Thunderettes
extended their league record to six wins
and no losses. They are in sole possession
of first place.
The Thunderettes completely outclassed
all opposition the weekend before, downing
University of Alberta at Calgary 70-54 and
71-36,  and stopping Edmonton 69-27.
Pauline Gensick and Janet Douglas led
the team against Saskatchewan with 26 and
24 points respectively.
In Edmonton, UBC Junior Thunderettes
finished second in the WCIAA Championships. First place was taken by UVic.
Proven-pucksters can win-well
By ROSS EVANS
The UBC ice hockey Thunderbirds stepped out of role Friday and trounced the
Manitoba Bisons 11-4, but apparently were
embarrassed at the .audits which accompany
winners and fumbled their eighth of nine
games Saturday, 4-2.
The Birds held a wide margin of play
in the first rough match, but trailed 2-1 after
the first period.
Al McLean started the scoring by triggering three goals within the opening five
minutes of the second. He added a fourth
marker in the final period. Ron Morris was
the other outstanding player, bagging three
goals. Mickey McDowell, Bab Apps, Les
Johansen, and Tom Koretchuk notched
singles.
Rod Lindquist with two and Walter Hall
and John Truscott with one each replied for
the Bisons.
Bison's coach Bill Robinson felt that the
Birds looked like the first place club and
should be there.
Lightning never strikes twice in the same
place and the Birds proved an exception as
they bowed out 4-2 to the Manitoba squad
the next day.
The teams played to a 2-2 draw after two
periods but Mike McKenzie and Fred Stevenson each scored to ice the win for the Bisons.
Jim Woloshyn and Doug White also aided
Manitoba's cause. Miles Desharnais and McDowell were UBC's lone marksmen.
A double-header goes in Manitoba next
weekend.
— derrek webb photo
DUELING  PRIVATELY   in   the   midst  of   a   big   league   game  are   UBC's  Lenny   Bousquet
and   Manitoba's   player,  ignorant   of   the   seemingly   unimportant   struggle   for  a   goal
going merrily on beside them. Unseen is  the mass of litter on the ice; unheard are the
roars of a well-entertained  audience.
SPECIAL RATES
For Spring Formal Events
(UBC Students Only)
$7.50—Black Tuxedos
$850—Colored Dinner Jackets
$9.50-Tails
•   Everything   included   —  Shirt,   Tie,   Studs,
Links and Suspenders
2500 Garments to Choose From
E. A LEE
Formal Wear Rentals
623  Howe (Downstairs) MU 3-2457
"How To Succeed In Business
Without Really Trying"
(Uncensored   Version)
On Stage in the Auditorium
Feb. 6-11 - 8:30      Thurs. 9th - 12:30
Student Tickets - 75c
For Feb. 6, 7, 8 - 8:30
Feb. 9 - 12:30
TICKETS ON SALE IN AUDITORIUM. CALL 228-3176
'Jioneymoon at
l^^Jiariisoii
Spend your moments-of-a-lifetime in Canada's finest mountain and lake setting . . . where holiday pleasures enhance
your every mood. You'll long remember evenings of music
and laughter in the sparkling Copper Room . . . walks along
the lakeshore . . . the lively fun of golf, riding, curling, boating. There's swimming in heated pools, too. And the cuisine
is marvelous. Expensive? Not for this most special occasion.
A complete honeymoon holiday including your room for 3
nights, breakfast each morning (in bed if you wish), 2 fabulous honeymoon dinners, a bicycle built for two, golf and
special surprise extras amounts to only $85* per couple,
off-season (Sept. 11 to May 11).
"For specified New Wing accommodation, add $15 per couple, off-season.
For reservations, see your travel agent or write to Max A. Nargil,
Managing Director.
THE HARRISON
A Distinguished Resort at Harrison Hot Springs, British Columbia Page 8
THE    UBYSSEY
Tuesday,  February  7,   1967
7WEEN CLASSES
More changes, radially
CONTEMPORARY  ARTS FESTIVAL
Tuesday's events are —
— Radial   changes,   deliverance;   noon,
Brock lounge.
— Experimental films from French Canada, 3:30, Ang.  104. Admission 35 cents.
Wednesdays events —
— Music for string trio and string quartet, noon, Bu. 106.
— Radial changes — Coming to meet,
3:30 Brock lounge.
PRE   LIBRARIANSHIP
Meeting Wednesday, noon, Bu. 225, Dr.
Rothstein speaks.
ARCHITECTS   US
The   films   Anniversary,   Be   Gone   Dull
Cane, and In  Search  of Innocence, today,
noon, Lass.  104.
HAMSOC
Seminar:   Huberism   in   RTTY,   Wednesday, noon, clubroom.
SCM
Rev. Jack Shaver discusses the death of
God theology, today, noon, Bu. 2202.
SPANISH  CLUB
Tuesday is Spanish day at IH. Practice
Spanish with native speakers.
PRE DENTAL SOC
No   meeting   Wednesday   noon.    Clinic
Wednesday, 8 p.m., 659 Clyde, West Van.
Members only.
ECONOMICS  SOC
Dr.  Mendels discusses the  economics  of
underdevelopment,  Wednesday,  noon,  Ang.
213.
BRIDGE CHESS
Meeting   Wednesaay,    7:30,    Brock   TV
lounge.
MUSSOC
Ushers still needed for How to Succeed,
please sign list in clubroom above auditorium.
ONTOLOGY
Ron Polack discusses Discipline — Who
Needs It, Wednesday, noon, Bu. 223.
MATH CLUB
Open  house  meeting,  today,  noon, Ma.
204. IBM films Wednesday, noon, M. 100.
GRAD THEATRE
The  New   Tenant,   comedy   by   Eugene
Ionesco,   Thursday,   Friday,   noon,   Freddy
Wood studio. Admission 25 cents.
CHAPLAINCY   COMM
Communion for Anglican students, Wednesday, noon, ATC  chapel.
VIETNAM COMMITTEE
Professor Bill Willmott speaks on "The
second Indo-Chinese War" Wed., noon, Bu.
100.
More goddam candidates' drivel
From page 5
the students, about AMS activities. I would like to do
this via a column in The
Ubyssey — no cliches, just
succinct, sprightly commentary.
Regarding council issues,
my alignment is not with the
left or the right, — only the
students. My previous experience on council taught me
that one must think independently and objectively. I cannot espouse someone's ideas
simply on the basis of a personal or political alliance.
However, criticism involves
the  obligation  to present  al
ternatives. I accept this obligation.
Some people call this a
non-platform. I disagree. I refuse to allow someone to
speak for the students of
UBC when he does not have
student support for his actions. I want creative (i.e. active) and responsible student
government. If you want the
same, give me your vote for
second vice president.
KIM   CAMPBELL
Halverson
The platform on which I am
running is centered on fighting  any tuition fee increase,
democratizing the board of
governors, and funnelling
AMS funds into academic
events.
The failure of the government to grant the $66 million
requested by Dr. Macdonald
makes a fee increase inevitable. The overtime ban
coupled with rising residence
and living costs will make
this fee intolerable.
I will help to give leadership in fighting fees with intensive public education, student education and appropriate fee witholding or strike
if necessary. I ask to be elected or rejected on this platform.
DOUG   HALVERSON
7 WEDNESDAY
MEDITATIONS
WITH
PAINT
By
Karl Schutt, B.F.A.
Artist
An  action  art series
for the Lenten Season,
beginning this Wednesday
FEB. 8
10 p.m.
LUTHERAN
CAMPUS CENTRE
5885 University Blvd.
This Diamond Ring Is Worth
All Of $1,000,000.
(To The Girl Who Wears It.)
And 10% discount to the young man who
gives it. Which explains why most students
consult Grassies on Seymour before buying important items like jewellery. Or anything else
for that matter. Because Grassies' 10%
Student Preferential Discount Policy covers all
their merchandise. An invaluable factor . . .
whatever   the  amount   you   wish   to  spend.
* $200: Retail Value/$160 : to You
566   SEYMOUR
.   685-2271
CLASSIFIED
Rates: 3 lines, 1 day, S.75—3 days, $2.00 Larger Ads on request
Non-Commercial Classified Ads are payable in Advance
Classified Ads are not accepted by telephone
Publications Office: Brock Hall.
ANNOUNCEMENTS
Lost 8c Found
11
POUND: TEXTBOOK, THE MOD-
ern Poets. Would Ian A. Rudkin
Phone CA 4-6547 after 6 p.m.
FOUND: PARKER FOUNTAIN PEN
in   Ed.   Lounge.   Phone   681-3791.
LOST:    HANDSAW.    PHONE    B&G
office.   228-2171.
WOULD PERSON WHO FOUND
H. Wood's wallet please drop it
in mail.  I will  pay postage.
Valentine Greetings
12
BE ORIGINAL—SAVE MAILING A
card. Send Valentine Greetings to
your friends with a Classified ad.
(Feb. 14). Make arrangements this
wteek in the Publications office,
Brock   Hall.
Coming Dances
12A
Special Notices
13
SCIENTIFIC TRANSLATIONS.
Russian, German. Bernard Portier,
Dept.   of   Metallurgy,   228-2676.
JOX RECS & MICKEY MOUSERS.
P.E. Valentine's Dance—The Cardiac Thump, Fri. Feb. 10. $3.00 per
couple. Tickets at noon in the
gym- 	
URGENT! WOULD WITNESS OF
car accident Jan. 20 Fri. 8:45 a.m.
on 10th & Highbury call Tony
731-1566  evenings.   Reward.
FINAL CLEARANCE AT THE
Campus Shoppe, 5732 University
Blvd. (in the village). Where
prices are always right. CA 8-8110.
SPANISH CLUB PRESENTS CUBA
Today. Bill James, CKLG News
Director, will give a talk on
Castro's Cuba Friday evening in
BU.   202.   8:30.   Slides.
WHY PAY HIGH AUTO INSUR-
ance rates? If you are over 20 and
have a good driving history you
qualify for our good driving rates.
Phone Ted Elliott 224-6707.
GEOLOGY MUSEUM OPEN MON.-
Fri. 12:30-1:30 F.&G. 116 — come
and see  our minerals and fossils.
HOW TO SUCCEED IN BUSINESS
Without Really Trying. Student
Performances Feb. 6th, 7th, 8:30,
9th,  12:30.  75c.
SONG FEST 1967. FEB. 11 8:00
p.m. Q.E.T. "An Evening For
Everyone" Tickets — AMS, Common Blocks, Q.E.T., Eaton's —
downtown. Single $1.50. Couple
$2.75.
Transportation
14
WANTED: CARPOOL FROM 25th
and MacDonald area. Phone 738-
1752.
61st-ARGYLE RIDE MONDAY-FRI-
day to and from UBC. 221-3108 or
325-1583 after 6 p.m.
IS THERE ANYONE LIVING IN
vicinity of Lester Pearson High
School in New West who could
give me a ride home Mon., Wed.,
Thurs. at 5:30? Please call Lorraine 521-4189.
RIDE NEEDED FROM CAMBIE
12th area 9:30 Monday to Friday.
Call   874-9773.
RIDE WANTED FROM NORTH
Burnaby Monday to Friday. Convenient times. Phone Lloyd, 298-
1015.
WOULD APPRECIATE RIDE, 8:30
classes Monday to Friday. Vicinity of Boundary and Kingsway.
Phone   434-0422.
Wanted
15
Travel Opportunities
16
AUTOMOTIVE   ft  MARINE
Automobiles For Sale
21
1958 PONTIAC AUTO. BEAUTIFUL
condition. Best offer. Mike 731-
6296.
'53 CHEV — GOOD RELIABLE
transportation $75. Call Dick at
731-3881   or   224-9769.
Automobile Parts
21A
•61 FIAT SPYDER PARTS. NEW
top, clutch, tires trans., body
parts.  CY  9-4874.
Bodywork, Glass
23
BUSINESS SERVICES
Scandals
39A
BEST   WISHES   AND   HAPPY
Birthday to Loree  Rose—J.N.
THE SHADOW STOOPS TO UKES
while Candy McDonnell loses
champion muscle. Jan and Jane.
Scandals
39A
SURFER SWIZDAHL HANGS TEN
tonite. Don't miss this fabulous
show at the Penthouse (Men's
Room).
WILLY:    I    NEED   YOU   —   DOG.
Don't   listen   to   Janice   or   Sarah.
DON'T GET YOUR VOLKSWAGEN
fixed — See Hans first! Lowest
rates in town. Auto Henneken,
263-8121. Oak and S.W. Marine Dr.
SONG FEST 1967. FEB. 11 8:00
p.m. Q.E.T. — "An Evening For
Everyone" Tickets — AMS, Common Blocks, Q.E.T., Eaton's
downtown. Single $1.50. Couple
$2.75.
Sewing  ft  Alterations
40
Typing
43
NORTH VANCOUVER — WILL
type thesis in my home. Rates
reasonable.   Phone   988-5420.
TYPING — 25c SINGLE SHEET-
double spacing writing legible;
call after 10:00 a.m., Mondays to
Thursday    and    Sundays—738-6829.
TYPING—FAST, ACCURATE EF-
ficient,   any   time.   224-5621.
Professional  Typing
ARDALE   GRIFFITHS   LTD.
8584   Granville   St.
70th  &  Granville  St. 263-4530
EMPLOYMENT
Help Wanted
51
WANTED: COUNSELLOR APPLI-
cations for Diabetic Summer
Camp, last two weeks, August.
(Especially Girls). Phone Mr. Russell,   325-3756.
MALE AND FEMALE SUMMER
Camp Counsellors. Committed
Christians with camping experience required for Salvation Army
Day and Resident Camps. July
and August, 1967. Apply to: Major
Bruce Halsey, M.S.W. Family Service Centre, 319 East Hastings
Street,  Vancouver 4, B.C.
Music
63
FENDER DELUXE-REVERB AMP.
New $400. Sell $290. 3 mos. old.
TR 6-4200 after 6 p.m.
Instruction-Tutoring
64
ALL FIRST AND SECOND YEAR
subjects by excellent tutors: Sciences and arts.  736-6923.
EXPERT TUTORING IN MATH,
Science, Engineering. $3/hr. Minimum 5 lessons. 876-1859.
Instruction Wanted
66
TUTOR WANTED FOR CHEM. II
student 1 or 2 hrs a week. Reasonable  rates.   261-0129   after   5   p.m.
MISCELLANEOUS
FOR SALE
71
MUST SELL 215 CM. HEAD SKIS.
$35.00. Phone Bill after 12 mid-
nite.  325-7493.
GETTING ENGAGED: I CAN SAVE
you up to 50% on any diamond
ring. Satisfaction guaranteed or
your money refunded. Call Murray 261-6671.
RENTALS  ft  REAL ESTATE
Rooms
81
Room & Board
82
YOU CAN'T BEAT THE Z.B.T.
Frat House. Best food and lowest
cost. ($65.) on campus. Friendly
boarders. Quiet. Call Jerry, 224-
9660.	
FOR CONVENIENCE, COMFORT,
and congeniality, stay at Zeta PSI
Fraternity, 2250 Wesbrook Crea.
Phone 224-9662 between 5:00 p.m.
and  7:00 p.m.	
ROOM & BOARD AT UBC GATES
single $105.00; sharing $90.00. Only
those who are serious about their
studies   need   apply.   224-6441.
TRAFFIC PROBLEMS? MOVE ON
campus and forget them! Room
and board. Feb. 1. 2280 Wesbrook.
224-9986.
Furn. Houses and Apts.
83
Unfurn. Houses ft Apts.
84
WANTED TO RENT. 3 BEDROOM
house, Dunbar, Point Grey area,
as soon as possible. Phone 224-
3005.
Real Estate
86
SARAH: PLEASE FORGIVE. I
need you. I'll try again—Willy E.
Don't listen to dog.
BUY - SELL - RENT
WITH
UBYSSEY
CLASSIFIED

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