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UBC Publications

UBC Publications

The Ubyssey Feb 4, 1997

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Array We review the crowds
and ECCW wrestling
We ask how you'd spend
$1 million on UBC campus
We watch the improv
heat up at TheatreSports
Quarantined since 1918
j: 4k?S,\
jjiasij't hit
UBC.yet
I by Ian Gmij, and Sarah O'Donnell
An outbreak of red measles in the
; lower mainland that has seen 18
people at SFU's Burnaby campus fall
p.has so far.ipssed UBC./,...
feBut, Bttfeftoy s- Medlejiyiealth
Officer Nadine Loewenf who has
been following the situation at SFU,
, expects a second wave of cases in the
next two weeks.
* "All the people that! know about;
>to date (at SFU] all became sym-
tomatic at approximatsly the same
'tune. So given that the incubation
I time is from one to two weeksi some*
(°th^-har^ene^it>one to two<weeks ;
.earner," Lowert said, adding that the
[number of cases will increase as
jinore people come in contact with
'teevirais. i ^ v^   y.
!^NHere lat^UBC. MecflsTReM0118 ^
, Coordinator Gavia Wilson Vaid the [
\ university was monitoring the sttua-
'tion N '
\ • As of Mortetkjr, "Wilson-ssid,. there
Iwere no repolteii cases o|^ilasles at
jthe university, If someone was djag-
, nosed, he said, it would be reported
'to BCs Centre for Disease Control
iaa4 pssz feiWrded an~,to ,UBCs
%$$£eot fiIe^.^vices.^Cv;
^ Wilson said UBC's prabary con-
jeerrt was a group of e\ghtTJBC students who jairiH4 a group of SFU stu-
LrMits bo a vtidjtaBmy£$m & Bi&
pite ";£&      ,^%:   " ■
| 'Student Malta services, las connoted all buf one of the-UBC stu-
|dents who went on. thattrip^nd with
•the $eveR,Jlieyvhave chewed them
pit and ttt|f^er« finejgclje satd.
1 "Those who hadn't had a second vac-
icination for paeasles were given
[one"
i When asked if there was,a reason
innlversi-ty-iged-* studentf ^seemed
rpartacularly susceptible to the dis*
ease, Loewen explained it had to do
'with vaccinations
, v 'Anybody who was^ born before
"1957 seem" to be irmnune'simply
'because there was so much virus
around at that time,* she said
,    People aged 20 to 40 who grew
iup in British Columbia, however,
i have only had one vaccination for
measles.
■ "We've come to learn over the last
: few years that one dose, although it
j generates immnnity in 90,to 95 per-
Icent ofthe people, still leaves five to
ten percent of the people vulnera-
|ble," she said. ♦
M h 1 \
.'.AM.     * UtV'.. Vr '.i  ii^
li!    t
i i>
. , • I, * ,     ,    J(',   i        >,
nit]
livers
fx*ttCf
■ I
JOANNE ROSS buries the ball behind the Regina blockers in their last regular season game at home. The women's volleyball team takes their
15-1 record on the road to meet the Alberta Pandas this week. See story, page 3. scott hayward photo
AMS ombuddie investigates vote
by Sarah O'Donnell
The AMS ombudsperson has waded into the
post-election fray, following complaints of voting irregularities in this year's student
election.
On Friday, AMS Ombudsperson Michael
Curry directed Elections Administrator Zoe
Stronge to "withhold the report of the 1997
AMS elections results until further notice."
This measure, Curry told The Ubyssey, was
to investigate both complaints about the general legitimacy of the elections and the way
complaints were handled.
At issue are three main complaints lodged
by Action Now organisers Heather Hermant,
Tara Ivanochko and Michael Hughes. The
first complaint, Curry said, "relates to the allegations of vote fraud, multiple voting, people
not having their student cards marked, and
the like.
"The second complaint are issues arising
from the actual counting of the ballots and
how the results were tabulated; and the third
issue relates to the polls at Vancouver General
Hospital and at Regent College and the lack of
sufficient advertising of the existence of those
polls," he explained.
Ivanochko said she hopes the investigation
will expose problems with the Society's electoral process.
"It's hard to convince everybody," she said,
"but my problems with this are not with the
results. My problems are with the procedure
that happened during the election.
"I'm hoping to get the council to accept the
fact that these elections were faulty, that there
were so many problems with these elections
that the results are invalid. That's what I
would like to get, I'm not sure what we're
going to get," she said.
Curry said he expects to rule on the validity of the 1997 elections by this Wednesday's
student council meeting; he also expects to
-issue a report about ways to avoid similar
complaints in the future before his term
expires on March 15.
AMS President David Borins said the
"Society would cooperate fully with Curry's
investigation.
"If an election of the AMS's is doubted, it
first of all has the effect of casting suspicion
upon the elected members and second of all
. it brings the society into disrepute with the
membership," he said. "One of the most fundamental principles of this organisation is its
democratic basis and we have to protect that
at all costs."
Curry said that if enough inconsistencies
are found to have materially affected the election, there are a number of remedies possible, ranging from making suggestions for
next year to ordering a new election.
If however, Curry directs Stronge to report
to student council, the issue dies there. "The
only appeal from that would be to the BC
MICHAEL CURRY has put the brakes on final
approval of the AMS election results, pending his investigation, richard lam photo
Supreme Court," he said.
As of Sunday, Curry said his findings were
not conclusive. He did, however, add that any
student who did vote more than once in this
year's elections and comes to speak with him
about it can do so with complete anonimity
and without fear of having their AMS privileges revoked. ♦ 2    THE UBYSSEY, FEBRUARY 4, 1997
Accomodations/For Rent
Room for Rent $525. Looking for
quiet, clean, female student to
share brand new 2 bedroo condo
in prime Kitsilano location. Cat
lover preferred. 730-2778.
ACCOMMODATION AVAILABLE
IN THE UBC WINTER SESSION
SINGLE STUDENT RESIDENCES
Rooms are available in the UBC
single student residences for
qualified women and men student applications. Single and
shared rooms in both "room only"
and "room and board" residences
are available. Vacancies can be
rented for immediate occupancy
in the Walter H. Gage. Fairview
Crescent. Totem Park. Place
Vanier. and Ritsumeikan - UBC
House Residences*. Applicants
who take occupancy of a residence room are entitled to reap-
plication (returning student) privileges which will provide them
with a "guaranteed" housing
assignment for the 1997/98
Winter Session.
Please contact the UBC Housing
Office in Brock Hall for information on rates and availability. The
Housing Office is open from 8:30
am - 4:00 pm weekdays, or call
822-2811 during office hours.
* Availability may be limited for
some residence areas and room
types.
lUtoring Services
WANT A HIGHER GRADE ON
YOUR ESSAY? Experienced
tutor/editor (MA English) will help
organize & proofread essays &
school applications. ESL students
welcome. Call Greg: 736-7992
For Sale/Services Offered
Transcription Services Available.
Flat rates, quick completion.
Call Verbatim Professional
Transcription Services. 733-3422.
Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu
Info call 688-5303
Looking for 27 studens who want
to lose weight. Call 325-3554.
Wine $3 a bottle
Come and make your own
at Angel Winemaking. Broadway/
Alma 730-6060.
Classifieds
for UBC Students
Starting with the Friday
February 7th issue, three line
classified ads will be free for
UBC students with ID. Drop by
our office (SUB 245) between
10 am and 4 pm to fill out the
form and every Friday we'll run
all the free ads received that
week. The deadline for the first
free classifieds issue (Fri.Feb7)
with free ads is Wednesday
February 5 at Noon.
the
sport!
T-Birds get their wings clipped
by Bruce Arthur
The women's basketball team played their
hearts out this weekend against the first-placed
Victoria Vikes.
But they couldn't come away with a win and
fell to 4-10 on the season. The Birds have now
lost four straight matches and remain a full
game behind the Lethbridge Pronghorns for
the final playoff spot.
Friday night, Victoria guard Lisa Koop
exploded for 32 points as the Vikes eked out a
tough 57-52 victory over the Birds.
While the Birds only scored two points in
the first six minutes of the game, fine defensive work kept them in the game. Trailing 17-
11 with five minutes left in the first half, the
Birds went on a 7-0 run, capped by forward
Laura Esmail's steal and driving three-point
play, to lead 20-17 at the intermission.
However, the Vikes stepped up the defensive pressure and held the Birds scoreless for
over five minutes. The Vikes pressure defence
also translated into 13 consecutive points.
Veteran guard Trixie Cruz said, "We came
out flat, and it cost us."
UBC clawed back on both Lisa Scharf s 12
second half points and the rebounding of for
ward Carmel Burke,
who finished with 10
boards.
Koop, however,
answered every UBC
challenge, scoring
almost at will. She
drove, spun, and shot
her way to 23 second-
half points before fouling out with 1:11 left
and Victoria up 53-50.
Lindsay Brooke took
over, though, hitting
four straight free
throws to seal the Vikes
57-51 win.
"If we play like that
against the rest of the
Canada West, we'll beat a lot of teams,
Birds coach Deb Huband.
Saturday, Victoria's pressing, take-no-
prisoners defence took control, as the Birds
were forced into 19 turnovers and were
unable to respond to Victoria's hot perimeter shooting.
The Birds kept fighting, but every uprising
was met with deadly outside shooting by Koop
TRIXIE CRUZ surveys the Vike defence in Victoria this weekend, mary
VALLIS/MARTLET PHOTO
said
and forward Lisa Bright.
The Birds were also whistled for 16 fouls
to 9 for the Vikes. "I didn't think that it was
a level playing field tonight, but you expect
that in someone else's gym." Huband said.
"Our effort, though was tremendous."
The Birds will try to improve their playoff
chances this weekend as they host the cellar-
dwelling Saskatchewan Huskies. ♦
Thunder birds plundered by Vikes
By Bruce Arthur
The men's basketball team laid it
all on the line this weekend
against the top-ranked Victoria
Vikes, only to come back from the
Island with two more losses, dropping to 8-6 on the season and one
game behind second-placed
.Alberta.
Friday night, the Vikes dominated UBC en route to winning 84-67.
The Vikes came out blazing,
pressed the Birds relentiessly and
let three-pointers fly with abandon.
Fueled by the boisterous
McKinnon crowd, Victoria hit
seven three pointers in the first
half. The offensive barrage was
capped by a one-handed dunk by
forward Pat Cannon to make it 44-
25 Victoria at halftime.
The Birds came out stronger in
the second half, but the Vikes, who
got 22 points apiece from Cannon
and Hinrichsen, never let the lead
fall below 12 points and coasted to
their eighth consecutive win.
"They were the better team
tonight." Enns said, "It was a bad
combination of them shooting
great and us shooting terribly."
To their credit, the Birds never
gave up as they fought over every
loose ball until the final buzzer.
Saturday's game turned out to
be the Thrilla at McKinna.
Playing in front of a standing-
room only crowd of 2300, the two
teams played with playoff intensity.
The game was filled with diving
saves, spectacular drives and
relentless defence.
It was the kind of full-scale, flat-
out tilt that will be remembered
long into this year.
Led by forward Eric
Hinrichsen's 33 points and 13
rebounds, Victoria would prevail
79-70.
The Birds came out Saturday
determined to prove Friday
night's game an aberration.
"We're a little pissed off," said
forward Eric Butler just prior to
tip-off. And he set the tone early.
On the first Viking possession,
Butler delivered a ferocious block
that sent Gerald Cole diving out of
bounds to save the ball.
Trailing 18-12 at the 12:15
mark first half, Nino Sose, who led
UBC with 16 points, sparked a 14-
0 run.
Victoria responded, but swing-
man John Dumont scored the last
six points of the half to give UBC a
slim one point intermission lead.
The second half was a wide
open see-saw affair and featured
16 lead changes.
UBC opened up the biggest lead
of the half at 63-60 with 2:30 left.
But Butler collected his fifth foul 15
seconds later and was missed when
Hinrichsen put back an offensive
rebound and was fouled with two
minutes left. He then calmly sunk
the free throw to put Victoria ahead
65-63.
Vic guard Seth Adler completed
a driving three-point play 30 seconds later to seal the win.
"We were the better team for
38 minutes," Enns said. "[Friday]
the score flattered us. [Saturday] it
flattered them."
Despite being swept, the Birds
are looking forward to a rematch.
Said Dumont: "We'll be back here
for the playoffs." ♦
'tween
AFROPHOBICS
Monday, Feb. 3 - Saturday, Feb. 8
"Afrophobics", an African Heritage Month information display, will explore racial harassment and
violence suffered by local Blacks, in the 90's, at the
hands of some Lower Mainland Afrophobics. Main
Concourse glass display cases (south side), SUB. Tarn-
lam.
AFRO-AESTHETICS
Monday, Feb. 3 - Saturday, Feb. 8
Afro-Aesthetics, the fourth annual African
Heritage Month art exhibit will feature four other
genres of creative expression: film (Afro-Cinematics),
literature (Afro-Semantics), music (Afro-Acoustics)
and poetry (Afro-Poetics). AMS Art Gallery, SUB.
Monday, Noon-1 Opm; Wednesday, Noon-8pm;
Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, Noon-5pm.
WEDNESDAY MUSIC NOON HOURS
Wednesday, Feb. 5
Henri-Paul Sicsic, piano.  Music Bldg. Recital Hall.
12:30pm. $3.
UBC ARTSFEST '97
Thursday, Feb. 6
"Artistry in Percussion."    UBC Symphonic Wind
Ensemble.     Martin   Berinbaum,   director.     Old
Auditorium.  12:30pm.
Thursday, Feb. 6 & Friday, Feb. 7
Public Speaking Competition. Buch Penthouse.
12:30pm.
Very Short Shorts. Buch Penthouse. 2:00pm.
Spring Rhythms (Poetry). Buch Penthouse.
3:30pm.
Books Unlimited. The English Dept.'s renowned
book sale, with proceeds going to the department's
scholarship fund. BuTo321.  10:00am-4:00pm.
All the World's a Stage. The English Dept. Players
on stage at the Frederic Wood Theatre. 2:30pm.
Saturday, Feb. 8
"Artistry in Percussion." John Rudolph &
Salvador Ferreras, percussion. Music Bldg. Recital
Hall. 2:00pm.
UBC Jazz Ensemble with guests Graham Boyle,
vibes/drum set; Jack Duncan, Cuban/African1 drums;
Salvador Ferreras,  Latin  percussion;  Fred Stride,
director. Music Bldg. Recital Hall. 8:00pm.
UBC STUDENT COMPOSERS
Monday, Feb. 10
Music Bldg. Recital Hall.  12:30pm.
HUMANISM IN SOCIOBIOLOGY
Tuesday, Feb. 11
Speaker:  Dr. Pat Duffy Hutcheon.  Sponsored by
the Humanist Society. Buch D205.  12:30pm.
1997 WINTER LEGAL CLINIC FOR WOMEN
Battered Women's Support Services and UBC Law
Students Legal Advice Program are co-sponsoring
free legal clinics for women to be held every Tuesday
from 6:30-8:30pm on the following dates: Feb.4,
Feb.25, Mar.4. To make an appointment please call
the UBC Law Students Legal Advice Program at
822-5791.
CALL FOR VOLUNTEERS
Vancouver's 6th annual Music West Conference &
Festival, May 8-11, is calling for volunteers in all
areas, including: hospitality, sound & light techs,
crew chiefs, computers, media, admin, stage managers, site crews, security, transportation, production, registration, etc. Pick up or send your application to #306-21 Water St., Vancouver, BC,
V6B 1A1. For more info call Jolene ©684-9338 or
volunteers@musicwest.com
Ubyssey
Wednesday,
Feb 5,
• T-shirts
• women's caucus
• WRCUP
• LGBQ issue
• team play
• bzzr garden
• other business
The Ubyssey staff meets every
Wednesday at 12:30pm and has
a realty good time talking about
at) kinds of groovy things. If you
would like to come, grab your
shovels and rakes and implements of destruction and come
see our 27 colour 8x10 glossy
photographs with a paragraph
on the back of each one explaining what each one was to be
used as evidence against us in a
court of law, and make your way
to SUB 241k. TUESDAY, FEBRUARYS 1997
MENS VOLLEYBALL
THE UBYSSEY   3
T-Birds need big finish
by Scott Hayward
Did they peak too late? That's the only question
remaining in the Birds season after an easy sweep of
lowly Regina.
UBC blasted the Cougars 3-0 (15-2,15-6,15-9)
Friday and held off challenges in the second
and third games Saturday to take that match
3-0(15-6,17-15,15-12).
Despite being down 12-9 in game two, the Birds
stayed loose while the Cougars tensed up. "[Our]
experience in those situations showed through," UBC
coach Dale Ohman said. "We were a little tougher
and made better decisions at the end of games when
the game was on the line."
"I don't consider Alberta a dominating
team in the country. They're one of
many strong teams, they've just done
what's necessary to win."
Dale Ohman
ubc head coach
The two previous weekends saw the Birds split a
series with fourth ranked Manitoba and knock off
third ranked Montreal to take the bronze in the Digs
Classic tournament in Halifax.
But they struggled earlier in the season and their
record stands at 6-6, one game behind Calgary in the
race for the last playoff spot in Canada West with just
two games left. Their final series is against the unde-
Bird
Droppings
feated Alberta Golden Bears in Edmonton, while
Calgary will have its hands full on the road against
Manitoba.
"It's going to be really sad if we don't make the
playoffs," said power hitter Guy Davis. "We've been
coming together as a team game after game during
the year. Our biggest problem was our consistency
and we've sort of picked that up."
The peaking Birds must topple Alberta and hope
for some help from Manitoba. Their self-confidence
has grown in the past month, and Ohman believes
they can pull off the upset.
"I don't consider Alberta a dominating team in the
country," he said. "They're one of many strong
teams, they've just done what's necessary to win."
The two advantages the Birds will have
are their style of play and their stamina.
"We're the kind of team they hate playing against because what we do is totally
against how they try to block and play
defence," Ohman said. "It's like a chess
match-if we can pass the ball, we'll put lots
of pressure on them and try to get them
out of their comfort zone."
The Birds have experienced more long, grueling
matches than Alberta this year—they know how to
keep their intensity up for three hours. The longer
they can hold on, the better their chances.
"We've got to keep on going after them, not giving
up," Davis said. "As long as we keep going hard like I
know we can, I think we can wear them down
because no one's really tested them all year." ♦
MIKE DALZIEL stretches to hammer the ball over the Regina blockers.
SCOTT HAYWARD PHOTO
V-Bird women head to showdown
by Scott Hayward
Soccer
The women's soccer
team opened tie winter
season with a convincing
5-0 win over Douglas
College, teanne McHardy scored twice while Liz
Conner, Kim Spencer and Jen Walker added singles.
Lisa Archer and Sarah Collings shared the shutout.
The men's team got goals from Matt Pye and Mike
Pennington to beat Malaspina College 2-0 Saturday.
UBC's record now stands at 2-0.
Track and Field
Lori Durward owned the Minora track meet at
Richmond this weekend. She won both the 1500m and
1000m race in CIAU record setting time.
The Ubyssey presents the Vancouver Canucks vs
Washington on Tuesday, Feb 11 at 7:00pm. Drop off
your name and phone number in SUB 24 IK to enter
the draw to win one of two pairs of tickets. Members of
The Ubyssey staff are not eligible, but all other students
are welcome.
After an easy sweep of the Regina
Cougars, UBC is preparing for what wall
be the first of three meetings to determine who reigns supreme in Canada.
Women's varsity volleyball has
developed an A league and a B league.
Ranked number two in Canada, the
Birds are clearly in the A league while
Regina's 0-10 record puts them in the
latter category.
What was more akin to a practice for
the Birds proved to be a clinic for the
Cougars as UBC blanked them 3-0 both
nights.
After losing 15-4 and 15-8, Regina
did take a run at the Birds and led 11-9
in game three Friday night. "They just
started playing better, and we didn't
adapt quickly," said Jenny Rauh. "We
probably expected them to play at the
same pace."
But UBC responded with six unan
swered points for a 15-11 win. They
then made quick work of the visitors
Saturday, winning 15-3, 15-1 and 15-4.
"The hard thing, when you're winning pretty easily, is to maintain your
positive energy," coach Doug Reimer
said. "It should be easy—it should be
like that. You're rolling and they're
struggling, you keep doing it.
"Our challenge now is when we go
to play Alberta, even if you play that
well, the result won't be the same-we
won't beat them in an hour."
Beyond this weekend, the two may
meet again in the Canada West final
and both teams should appear at the
national championship tournament
next month, so the teams should get to
know each other.
The two-time defending national
champion Pandas, who stood pat with
their roster from last year, handed UBC
their only loss of the season back in
October.
But the Birds, who added rookie
Sarah Maxwell and former national
team player Rauh in the fall, have
steadily improved as a team since
then.
"We know what to expect from each
other," Rauh said. "I know how my
teammates are going to play around
me. I know what my position is
because I know what they're doing."
Reimer's bench has also come to the
fore lately, and he has seen improvement on both defence and offence.
"We've been working on a more
read and react, a more adaptive
defence," he said. "We've got more
options offensively, so as long as we're
passing the ball well we've got a lot of
weapons."
Starter Izabela Rudol is a questionable start this weekend after she dislocated her finger in practice last week,
but she should be back for post-season
play. ♦
i
the use oi
a
Subject:
Students Eligible:
Prize:
Deadline:
Winner:
om
essay contest
"The Responsible Use of Freedom"
All 3rd and 4th year UBC undergraduates.
All graduate students.
$1000.00
May 30,1997
August 31,1997
Application forms may be picked up Monday to Friday 10am to 4pm at
St. Mark's College, 5935 lona Drive, at the extreme North East corner of campus.
UBC FilmSoc
Wed-Thurs, Feb.5-6, Norm Theatre, SUB ;
On the Waterfront
Rebel without a Cause
2174 W. Parkway
=^5^s=-5=-    Vancouver, BC
«8>
(University Village)
31/2'
Featuring easy to use High Quality Xerox Copiers.
Automatic Feeder, Auto Double Siding, Reduce/Enlarge!
8".«ii.    Ajso avanahie gf;2 x 14 and 11 x 17 at extra cost
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UBC
Discover the Friendly Competition!
Mon to Fri 8am-9pm • Sat to Sun lOam-Gpm
Facility or
Grounds
Trouble?
Faddy or Grounds
ph: 822-2173
fax: 822-6969
e-mail: tc@plantops.ubc.ca
Contact Plant Operations
by phone, fax, or e-mail to
report any campus building
or grounds problem and
request service.
Exterior Lights Only
ph: 822-2173
fax: 822-6969
e-mail: lightsout@plantops.ubc.ca
Please give complete details including CONTACT NAME and NUMBER
. drama, exhibits,
music, writing,
public speaking
and readings.
Creative and Performing Arts
Departments, Faculty of Arts,
The University of British Columbia
February 6,7,8,1997
For information and brochure
call 822-5122 GRADUATING     CLASS
If your club or organization is holding a function to celebrate graduation, you may be eligible for a Grad Rebate! A
maximum of $4 per graduate is available from Grad Class Council. Common uses for grad rebates include: composites,
grad dinners & dances and grad cruises. Applications must come from the undergraduate society directly; please
contact your undergraduate society treasurer/director of finance for more information.
• •    •
All graduates are guaranteed a minimum of four tickets. You must apply for these tickets by February 10, and pick them
up between Monday, April 7 and Friday, April 18 at the UBC Ceremonies Office at 6323 Cecil Green Park Road (cross
NW Marine Drive and continue down Cecil Green Park Road to end). An additional 2 tickets can be requested and will
be made available on a first-come, first serve basis from Monday, April 21 to Friday, April 25.
Other additional tickets may be available at that time.
The exact number of additional tickets can not predicted until the final numbers of graduates have been determined.
The maximum number of students per ceremony is 250, but on average, only 70-80% of graduates attend their own
ceremony. Also, not every ceremony will contain 250 students. Some faculties have less than 250 grads; other faculties
are split up in such a way to reduce the number of grads per ceremony. For each graduate below 250, an additional five
tickets can be made available to other students. Therefore, if you are not able to attend graduation, please let the
Ceremonies Office know, and return any tickets already issued.
Questions? Call Ceremonies at 822-2484 or e-mail melissa.picher@ubc.ca
Deadline for ticket application is Feb 10, 1997
• •    •
The 1997 Graduating Class is looking for innovative legacy gift proposals to leave for future students. A maximum of
$3000 per gift is available, with the njumber of gifts to be determined. Shortlisted gifts will be voted on at the Grad
Class AGM on March 7, 1997 in the SUB Partyroom. Proposals are welcome from individuals, clubs and constituencies.
Send a 150 word description & budget to: Grad Class Gifts, SUB Room 238.
Deadline for application Tuesday February 25 @ 4pm.
Treeplanting Ceremony • Friday, March 14, 1997 at 4pm. Location TBA with Wine & Cheese directly after
Baccalaureate Concert • Sunday, May 25, 1997 • Music Building
Grad Class Annual General Meeting • Friday, March 7, 1997 • SUB Partyroom
Also needed: Convocation Speakers for each Graduation Ceremony.
If you're interested, contact your undergraduate society or Grad Class Rep
Looking for information on Grad Class functions? Contact your Grad Class Rep through your undergraduate society, or
any one ofthe Grad Class Exec: Tracy MacKinnon (President), Orin Del Vecchio (Secretary), Matt Wiggin (Social
Convfnor) add Blair McDonald fPublic Relations) can be reached at 822-4235. Ian Tripp (Treasurer) and Nick Hock
(Vice-President) can be reached at 822-3818 TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 4, 1997
THE UBYSSEY   5
Swept Birds stay in playoff hunt
by Wolf Depner
The men's hockey team is starting to
run out of games to lose as the playoff race with the Lethbridge
Pronghorns is about to reach its
conclusion.
The Birds dropped two 5-4 decisions to the Saskatchewan Huskies
over the weekend to fall to 6-14-4,
extending their losing streak to four.
"If you want to say it's do
or die against Regina this
weekend, yes it is do or die."
Mike Coflin
UBC Head coach
They remain just three points
behind Lethbridge for the final playoff spot with four games left.
The Horns also lost twice to the
toothless Brandon Bobcats.
"I thought that if we'd come
through this weekend no more than
three points behind we would be in
pretty good shape," said UBC head
coach Mike Coflin.
"As bizarre as it might seem, it is
probably in our hands. If you want to
say it's do or die against Regina this
weekend, yes it is do or die," he
added.
First the good news: Regina is 2-8-1
on the road and the Birds will have
leading scorer Corey Stock, captain
Brad Edgington, and hard-hitting
blueliner Loui Mellios back in lineup
after playing for Canada at the World
University Games in South Korea.
Here's the bad news: the Birds
have the league's worst home ice
record with a 2-8-1 mark and lead
the league in one-goal losses with a
total of seven.
Friday night, Frank Crosina tied
the game 4-4 with a nice solo effort
on the powerplay with five minutes
to play. He tip-toed past the defence
and backhanded the puck underneath Huskie goalie Jody Lehman,
who stopped 20 of 24 shots.
But Sheldon Moser scored the
game winner for the Horns 70 seconds later.
"[It] seems like things are going
our way and then they aren't going
our way. It's up, down, up, and
down. Our entire season has been
full with ups and
downs," said Crosina.
UBC goalie Jon
Sikkema was far
busier than Lehman
in facing 39 shots in
his second straight
start.
Playing without injured blue-liners Cal Benazic (wrist) and Chris Kerr
(shoulder), the Birds' blueline looked
sluggish against the bigger and faster
Saskatchewan forwards and were
guilty of some glaring errors.
None was more obvious than the
one that led to Moser's game winner.
Moser was allowed to stand
beside the net all by himself and had
all day to tap the puck over the line
for the game-winner.
The next night, UBC's defence
corps played an improved game,
reducing the shots on net to 31.
However, the Huskies, who boast
the league's second-best powerplay,
were two for four with the man
advantage and Birds goalie Dave
Trofimenkoff gave up a backbreak-
ing goal midway through the final
period.
Standing just inside the blueline,
Huskie Horvath sailed a lazy shot
towards the net which found its way
through Trofimenkoff pads to make
it 5-3 Saskatchewan and killed any
momentum the Birds had.
"What was frustrating this weekend was different parts of our game
affect the outcome," said Coflin. ♦
^*3r
SHEA ESSELMONT two steps with a Husky, richard lam photo
UBC hosts muddy ultimate tournament
 by Wolf Depner
Maybe  it's jusl   llu- sense  ol" occasion.  Or
maybe it's just. plain lurk.
No matter whal your \ iew, first year teams
always seem lo do well wlwn it comes tu win
nine Iheir verv first i'iiriif>. The women's ulli-
male team continued thai reeenl trend as
they easily handled llu: l.niversilv of
Washington Huskies 13 !i Sunday afternoon
as pari til'a three team, all day tournament
Tlii- evi'lil was urgiually scheduled lo he
played al LUC. However, campus field ein
surcs forced organisers to move Lhe sile lo a
local high school where heavy use during lhe
week had lurried the fields into a mud pit.
Field conditions certainly hampered play,
yet UHf' was able lo overcome lhe sloppy conditions to play a solid game.
"It's great lo win lhal first game," said ro
captain Ashley Howard. I Lhink people air-
starling In realise that what we've learned in
practice is actually useful. We have a long
stretch of practice coining up so 1 think today
was especially important.'
While the women were just happy to get
their feel wet with some meaningful action,
Lhe men s learn went into this weekend s
action against Washington and a Vancouver
aMIstar team with a brand new- offensive set.
I'd get even body into lhe system. I'BC was
rlivided   into  two  split  squads,   "Star"   and
Wars."    Wars' fared  the Huskies in their
opening match and jumped out Lo a quirk (i'.]
lead on the visitors from Seattle.
Rookie handler Michael Schrue.der had a
particularly strong game early on with three
points caught and one scoring pass.
The Huskies, who looked completely out of
sync in the first 1:1 minutes, replied with
three unanswered scores lo close vvilhin one
point against the heavily favored I'.UC team.
' I think we came oui lired up, got Lhe lend
and maybe gol loo romlorlahle.'' said play-
er/cnarh Mike Firth. ' I5ut were really trying
to learn some things here, so that might
explain why the gann: got light.*
The Birds gol their act together and reeled
oil'six points in a row en route In a 13 X win
capped 1 iv a nifty overhead pass from Ale\
Rosenc'/.weig lo C.J Humcr.
In Hit: feature match of the afternoon the
Allhlai>: got an early jump "n lhe Wars" Irani
and led f) 5 al one point.
But IT.r battled bark and narrowed lhe
lead to two points, only lo surrender three lo
lose an otherwise even uame. ♦
Check Friday's Ubyssey for info on how to win tickets
to the new movie starring Christopher Walken,
Bridget Fonda, Skeet Ulrich and Tom Arnold.
Enter to Win
fabulous flowers or chocolates for your
special valentine
Pick up entry cards from Speakeasy in. SUB or the Women Students' Office,
Brock Hall #203 and return them by Feb.12 @3:3() pm. Simply answer the question:
How do you ask your partner
for consent in a respectful
and caring way?
Entries will be judged
and winners notified by
phone Feb. 13
Brought to you by the
Safer Campus Peer Educators from
the Women Students1 Office.
Free workshops are available to interested
students on issues of campus safety and
communcation in relationships. Call for more
information:
Women Students' Office 822-2415 6   THE UBYSSEY, FEBRUARY 4, 1997
THE UBYSSEY, FEBRUARY 4, 1997 7
The Ubyssey
You own this paper.
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MONSTER BORE
SPECTACULAR
by Richelle Rae
the
Motor Spectacular
Feb 1 at BC Place
Motor Spectacular will turn BC Place
into a mud pit? My ass it will! Try a
sand box!
The     Monster    Truck    Motor
Spectacular took place on this tiny
patch of dirt that, prior to the show, I
was told not to step on—and no wonder. I have never been so disappointed in a hyped up display of testos-
erone in my life. Raw
ower?      Sheer      guts?
ere? Definitely not in BC
lace last Saturday night.
I thought the point of a demolition derby was for the
Tars to  smash into  each
flier   at   dangerously   high
■ ids. This tepid display, on the
hand, was rather gutless. Most
■ i cars just spun around in the
nd bumped into each other—
ied, not crashed. The biggest
dirt
the
obstacle   was
patch.   Where was
blood I expected?
Instead     of     going
through a lame recap of
the rehearsed and choreographed   stunts,   here
are the Top Ten things
the  Motor  Spectacular —
should do to improve their act:
l.More dirt! I want mud, lots of it!
2.Music. In between the acts reruns
of the same stunts were shown
over and over on the big screen.
Watching the two brats in front of
me pummel each other was more
interesting.
3.Half-time show. Wet t-shirt and wet
boxer contest would be a start.
4.N0 kids. Self explanatory.
5.A mini-van smash-up derby. Now
that's something we'd all pay to see!
6.Cars that actually go over the ramp
in the stunts. Rolling off the side is
not only lame but a  complete
weaselly cop out on some potential
carnage.
7.Let audience members drive the
monster trucks. Try a lottery system or something.
8.Let the Robosaurus breathe fire
onto the audience—it'll get them
out of their seats if nothing else. I'd
call that edge of your seat excitement!
9.Kill singing the National Anthem
shit. No one knows the words anyway.
lO.Bigger trucks. I mean, we know,
that a man is only as big as the
truck he drives.
I'd sooner have my teeth pulled
out by a  monster truck than sit
through another  5  hours  of this
crap! ♦
Wrestling with the dangerous truth
by Scott Hayward
Extreme Canadian Championship Wrestling
Jan 31 at the Fraternal Order of Eagles Hall
An evening of pro wrestling is sort of like
a Granville Street peep show or the scene
of a bad car accident—you're curious
enough to take a look, but you don't want
your friends to know.
Extreme Canadian Championship
Wrestling (ECCW) is tame compared to
the Extreme fighting (where they're really
trying to hurt each other) advertised on
pay-per-view. It is, however, strangely
entertaining—though you're laughing at
them, not with them.
The program at New West's Fraternal
Order of Eagles Hall lamented the demise
of decades-old wrestling associations,
yearning for the camaraderie of the good
old days when Gene Karninski ruled the
ring.
The venue itself held about 150 fans of
all ages. The children came for a lifelike
cartoon—real people fighting, but without
the gore of Itchy and Scratchy—while
quiet old men skipped a night at the
Legion to watch the fights.
The more interesting audience fell
somewhere between these two groups.
There was an assortment of bleached-
blond single moms with two kids in tow
and unshaven, gaunt men in mac jackets
who front-loaded a six-pack and had a
mickey in their boots. Both groups had
obviously been to the Surrey tattoo parlour that sponsored the event.
But there was a curious representation
from the middle class, including several
couples whose London Fog sweaters were
surely purchased at Eatons on Robson.
These more restrained patrons didn't
shout at the wrestlers, but their necks
craned to take in every detail when the
action left the ring.
The opening match featured The
Reaper, who carried a grey styrofoam
headstone in one hand and a staff topped
by a glowing-eyed plastic skull in the
other. But he dropped his long robe to
reveal a rotund body much like the Stay-
Puft marshmallow man that terrorised
the city in Ghostbusters.
The match was far less acrobatic than
the standard fare available on Saturday
afternoon TV. Even when the pudgy
Reaper jumped, his opponent Destroyer
couldn't lift him for a body slam.
For the women's match, it was almost
as difficult to ignore the calls to "bring on
the sluts" as the stereotyping ofthe women
themselves. Velvet Mclntyre, who was at
the snack bar with what appeared to be her
daughter earlier in the evening, had long
wavy red hair in a barrette and wore a
colourful one piece bathing suit. Her opponent, The Iron Maiden, sported black
boots, black jeans, black t-shirt, a studded
black dog collar, black eye makeup and a
crew cut. It was easy to pick out the family
values favorite from the evil bitch.
Maiden was disqualified for using a
rope to choke Velvet outside the ring,
though Velvet later returned with a chair
to exact her just revenge—how all this was
explained to her daughter is anybody's
guess.
J?
VELVET exacts some post match revenge against the Iron Maiden, last Friday night at
the Fraternal Order of Eagles Hall in New Westminister, scott hatward photo
The main event featured The
Olympian Mike Roselli vs. Loverboy
Johnny Canuck, whose leather-clad manager/girlfriend Xavier taunted the heckling crowd before she was locked in a
ringside steel cage. Of course she got out,
but accidentally strangled Loverboy and
cost him the match.
But the fray continued and they
brawled up the aisle, carefully missing the
crowd on either side—past the souvenir
table, making a right at the snack-bar,
through the lobby and almost into the
street. The crowd instinctively followed,
conveniently clearing the auditorium.
Deconstructing the event and
analysing its denizens may be missing
the point. Maybe it would be better to
front load a six-pack, shoot back a mickey,
bitch about whether Gene Kamiski coulda
slammed The Reaper, and puke on that
rich dude's dorky sweater. ♦
by Peter T. Chattaway
Cabbeh
Feb 6 at the Pacific Cinematheque
opens Feb 7 at the Fifth Avenue theatre
Watching Gabbeh is like having an intimate, sensuous encounter with nature. Right from the
opening shot — of a carpet floating down a river,
barely submerged, a leaf and an apple gliding
above it on the wafer's surface—Gabbeh draws
us into an irresistable stream-of-consciousness
journey and a celebration of life and creativity.
The gabbeh is a type of carpet woven by the
women of the nomadic Gashgai tribe in south-
. east Iran. The gabbeh functions as a sort of diary,
its colours and images reflecting whatever is
happening in the life of its creator at the time of
its weaving. Mohsen Makhmalbaf takes a similar
approach to his film, capturing moments in a
documentary fashion but filtering them through
his uniquely imaginative perspective.
The carpet at the heart of this film is personified by Gabbeh (Shaghayegh Djodat), who may or
may not be the woman represented in the
gabbeh's central illustration, that of a man and
woman riding a horse. The story she tells the old
couple washing her carpet is a familiar one:
Gabbeh has fallen in love, but her father keeps
finding excuses to put off her marriage.
First she must wait for her uncle — a charismatic, middle-aged teacher from the city who, in
a bit of cinematic fancy, gathers colours and
plants for his lessons from outside the camera's
frame — to find a wife. Then she must wait for
her mother to bear another, child. And then she
must waitagain, for-the return of her younger
sister, who has gone in search of a missing goat.
In form and essence, Gabbeh has the makings
of a fairy tale. Makhmalbaf fleshes it out with
lush photography, courtesy of Mahmoud Kalari,
and some arresting images (my favorite shows a
ram's head poking out, several feet above the
ground, from a small mountain of shorn wool).
And the sounds! Hearing mis much .water rush
Mozart
it ain't
y'all
by Alison Cole
-
.(jf' Susannah
Feb 4, 6, 8, 10 at the Queen Elizabeth
Theatre
Wlii-ii one thinks of great opera, Wagner,
Rn-Miri and Mozart come to mind. The lavish
II.ill.in arias and luxurious period costumes
play an integral part in creating the traditional
portrayals of love, lies and deceit borne by the
troubled individuals on stage.
Susannah, however, is not such a typical
opera. The Vancouver Opera's premiere production of Carlisle Floyd's contemporary
opera is enlightening, but also confusing, and
unintentionally humorous.
Set in poor and rural Hicktown, Tennessee,
in the 1930s, the plot—based on the real biblical account of Susannah and the Elders—centres on the scandal caused by the community's
overtly religious Elders, who have nothing better to do than stir up distress in the life of innocent 19-year-old Susannah Polk. Canadian
soprano Sally Dibblee interprets her character
with the same simplicity that characterises the
rest of the cast.
Through their hypocrisy and betrayal of
Susannah, Elder McLean and Reverend Olin
Blitch (bass-baritones Gary Relyea and David
Pittsinger) show that even respected clergymen can have perverted tendencies towards
young girls too.
The opera exploits both "good" and "bad"
sides to show how society and human nature
as a whole will always look for the worst in
people, even when it's not there. Floyd doesn't
go with the happy ending of the original story,
but instead leaves us with, as my opera-viewing partner put it, an "unsatisfying conclusion".
Floyd composed Susannah in the 1950s
when he was only 28, writing both the score
and libretto with a strong "southern" influence. This is the first opera I've ever seen sung
in a southern drawl and, needless to say, the
bad grammar and elementary dialogue did
nothing to appease my expectations for operatic entertainment. Neither did the opening
square dance, which was really one too many
square dances for my taste, as I was haunting-
ly reminded of being forced to participate in
the "sport" in grade 9 Phys Ed.
Adding to the musical flavour of the
American rural south are the traditional
hymns and Appalachian ballads that so quaintly pronounce this as the "folk" opera that it is.
The orchestra played a vital role in interpreting all these different moods, from the square
dance music to the ominous tones that accompanied most of the serious drama.
This opera missed the stereotypical
grandeur, the extravagance, that would have
satiated my compliant fancies. Of course,
perhaps the superfluous frontal nudity and
the gigantic monster of a tree that dominated the set were supposed to compensate for
this.
Regardless, I think the opera snobs in the
audience applauded a little too long for what
seemed to me to be no more than a mediocre,
though well-staged, opera. ♦
through the speakers, I developed quite a thirst.
And there lies Gabbeh's most alluring charm:
after holding us captive with.its spellbinding
recreation of nature, it leaves us all fired up to go
out and meet the real thing again.
Those interested in Makhmalbafs other
works may also want to take in the. retrospective
of his works currently running- at the Pacific
Cinematheque. Gabbeh itself screens there this
Thursday, billed with Cinema, Cinema, Maani
Petgar's documentary of the making of
Mahmalbaf s Salaam Cinema. That film, in turn,
plays the Cinematheque February 14-15. The
series continues every Friday and Saturday until
March 1. ♦
Cool.
Funky.
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The Only Card Store.
Period.
1988 W. 4th Ave. (at Maple).
732-0020,   j
The UBC
CLOTHESLINE
PROTECT
END THE VIOLENCE
AGAINST WOMEN
Create a T-shirt to represent your experience of violence.
T-shirt making drop in: Thursdays 9 to 4; Fridays 1 to 4,
All materials provided.
Women Students' Office, Room 203 Brock Hall, 822-2415
Watch for our next showing in the SUB Art Gallery in March.
Women Students' Office
Groups - Winter 1997
Mature Women Students' Support Group
Tuesdays, resuming January 14 (drop-in)
12:30 - 1:30 PM, Room 207 Brock Hall
Assertiveness Training
Mondays, February 24, March 3 and March lO
12:30 - 2:20 PM, Room 207 Brock Hall
Skills for Dealing with Harassment &
Discrimination
Thursdays, February 13 and 20 or March 6 and 13
12:30 - 2:20 PM, Room 204D Brock Hall
Meditation and Stress Reduction
(Open to staff as well as students)
Thursdays, February 6, 13 and 20
12:30 - 1:30 pm. Room 207 Brock Hall
Please preregister for these free groups -
call the Women Students' Office, 822-2415
or drop in to Room 203 Brock Hall. <^,
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news
THE UBYSSEY   9
STreeieras
If UBC gave you
$1 million to spend
on the campus,
what would you do?
"I would buy better
on campus
to improve security
and safety."
-Chris fog (ms)
Shamed coacl
comeback at U of 0
by Rachel Furey
OTTAWA {CUP}—Despite losing his job aaiid a steroid scandal
at Mount Alison University, the final whistle hasn't blown on
Marc Loranger's career as a university football coach.
Loranger was fired front his position as head coach of ML
A's football team last September, after one of his players, Benoit
Goyette, tested positive for steroid use. Loranger has since Sled
a witxngful dismissal suit and'is locked in a legal battle with the
In the meantime. University of Ottawa Gees-Gees Head
Coach Larry King already met with Loranger to discuss the possibility of working with his team.
'I think it's unfair that people would stop him from working.
[Loranger] has proven himself as a coach,' said Ring. If he's
the best candidate, well offer him the job.*
Although the new U of 0 position is not a coaching one, the
successJul candidate will work closely with Ring to concentrate
on fundraising and corporate sponsorship for the football
team.
Government helps deaf
students study abroad
 by Amanda Labonte
ST. JOHN'S (CUa?)~The department of Social Services is helping
deaf students in Newfoundland attend post-secondary institutions as far away as the US because Newfoundland schools
can't meet their special needs.
A person is considered deaf when their only method of com-
raunicating is through the use of American Sign Language and
they need to be provided with interpreters to understand what
is being taught in a classroom,
'Interpreters are reaBy hard to get* said Kelly Giflingham, a
hard of hearing student from Memorial University who has
seen the complications many deaf students have to go through.
The main drawback of tbe program is that students have to
leave the province to further their education. Its intent however, is to provide the best possible opportunities to all disabled
students. Training Services spokesperson Ken O'Brien said.
The underlying function of the program is to provide [all]
individuals with an equal opportunity,' he said
Campus security policies
questioned by eyewitness
 by Katie Andrews
SASKATOON (CUP)~A thief nearly got away with thousands of
dollars worth of high-tech equipment from the University of
Saskatchewan while campus police were busy buying doughnuts and lifting weights.
'No one was ready at the ready to catch the guy,* said an
employee who didn't want his name used.
To me, it's just by lack mat they were able to act upon it as
quickly as they did in spite ofthe fact that none of them were
really doing their job at the time.*
Bave Walsh, a security patrol officer working that night, said
the officers on duty made it to the scene approximately two
minutes after me call and setup a perimeter to block potential
A 21-year-oM lias been charged with theft over $5000 and
It was an exceHc^ display of ec«>p€^
secar% and C% Police,' Welsh said.
Td convert the main library to rent
controlled loft apartments since rental
rates in Vancouver suck!"
-Deborah Campbell (com)
"I would use the money
to send UBC administrators
on a one-way trip
far, far, away."
-Jeff MeHand (chwr)
WEST tOTH OPTOMETRY CLINIC
Dr. Patricia Rupnow, Optometrist
General Eye
and Vision Care
4320 W. 10th Ave.
Vancouver, BC
(604) 224-2322
Check Friday's Ubyssey for
info on how to win tickets to
the new Paul Schrader movie
based on Elmore Leonard's
novel (starring Christopher
Walken, Bridget Fonda, Skeet
Ulrich and Tom Arnold).
Student Hush Nights!
.Exclusive savings of 50% offforvancouver
Canucks & Grizzlies games
BRING  IT ON.
Vancouver Canucks
vs. Washington
Capitals
Tuesday, February 11th
7:00 pm
kVAHCOUVC|t
Come on in.
Vancouver Grizzlies
a£&wcks vs. Dallas Mavericks
Mon.. Feb. 17th • 7:00 pm
Vancouver Grizzlies
 vs. Cleveland Cavaliers
GAVS  Sun.. Feb. 23rd • 12:00 noon
Vancouver Grizzlies
vs. Los Angeles dippers
Wed., Feb. 26th • 7:00 pm
@
Tickets start from iust I Tickets start from iust
20.50 I 312.75
Present your valid student photo identification - anytime up to an hour and a
half (30 minutes) prior to gametime - at any TicketMaster outlet or at the Orca
Bay Box Office at General Motors Place (Gate W).
O Orca Bay
(POUT!  •  INTIITAINMINT
Discount applies to prices ranging from $18.25 - $53.00 for the Grizzlies, and $40.25 & $47.75 only
for the Canucks. Limit of four tickets per student per game while quantities last. Prices include GST
but are subject to applicable service charges. Offer only good for games listed on this flyer. Offer cannot be combined with any other promotion. 10 THE UBYSSEY, FEBRUARY 4, 1997
ubyssey
FEBRUARY 4, 1997 • volume 78 issue 31
Editorial Board
Coordinating Editor
Scott Hayward
News
Ian Gunn and Sarah O'Donnell
Culture
Peter T. Chattaway
Sports
Wolf Depner
National/Features
Federico Araya Barahona
Photo
Richard tam
Production
Joe Clark
The Ubyssey is the official student newspaper of the University of British Columbia. It
is published every Tuesday and Friday by
the Ubyssey Publications Society.
We are an autonomous, democratically run
student organisation, and all students are
encouraged to participate.
Editorials are chosen and written by the
Ubyssey staff. They are the expressed opinion of the staff, and do not necessarily
reflect the views of The Ubyssey
Publications Society or the University of
British Columbia.
77ie Ubyssey is a founding member of
Canadian University Press (CUP) and firmly
adheres to CUP's guiding principles.
All editorial content appearing in The
Ubyssey is the property of The Ubyssey
Publications Society. Stories, opinions, photographs and artwork contained herein
cannot be reproduced without the
expressed, written permission of The
Ubyssey Publications Society.
Letters to the editor must be under
300 words. Please include your phone
number, student number and signature
(not for publication) as well as your year
and faculty with all submissions. ID will be
checked when submissions are dropped off
at the editorial office of The Ubyssey, otherwise verification will be done by phone.
"Perspectives" are opinion pieces over 300
words but under 750 words and are run
according to space.
"Freestyles" are opinion pieces written by Ubyssey staff members. Priority
will be given to letters and perspectives over freestyles unless the latter is
time senstitive. Opinion pieces will not
be run until the identity of the writer has
been verified.
Editorial Office
Room 241K, Student Union Building,
6138 Student Union Boulevard,
Vancouver, BC. V6T 1Z1
tel: (604) 822-2301 fax:822-9279
Business Office
Room 245, Student Union Building
advertising: (604) 822-1654
business office: (604) 822-6681
•
Business Manager
Fernie Pereira
Advertising Manager
James Rowan
Tonight was the night the maggots—no, not the
ones in Miami—took over. First Wolf Depner
started to barf all over the soccer field; talk
about the Germans dominating the World Cup,
eh? Ian Gunn started to cry because the flu
worm had crawled its way into, his brain. Then
Sarah O'Donnell succumbed and went home,
leaving Sarah Galashan to struggle with her
copy. Scott Hayward and Christine Price battled it out by taking long walks away from the
office, planning a counter-insurgency. Janet
Winters and Richelle Rae wondered about
Robosaurus' ability to finally crash capitalism
and bring a socialist reality into effect Irfan
Dhalla felt the terror run through his veins
and plotted his escape route to Miami. "A
Socialist fatherland or deathl" cried Chris
Nuttall-Smith, Loretta Seto, and Bruce Arthur.
Alison Cole and Casey Sedgman weren't buying into it though. Peter Chattaway invited
Darin to dance inside the Death Star; Darth
Vader was dead, after all. Elsie asked Jamie
Woods out; suddenly Jamie was sick with the
flu, and, needless to say, ended up barfing all
over the soccer field, bearing Wolf, whose legs
were weary, by four vomits to two. And
Federico Barahona was smiling None of it
mattered, he said, eight presidents later, Fidel
was still sitting in Havana, laughing, and holding his belly. "Viva Fidel,' he screamed. Then
he went to sleep. Joe Clark, Paul Kamon, and
Richard Lam woke up the next morning, surrounded by the smell of latex.
op/fed
Canadian
Unweasity
Ress
Canada Post Publications Sales Agreement Number 0732141
Ain't nothin' but a groundhog
Nostradamus thought the world would
end last Sunday. But he forgot one thing.
It was Groundhog Day.
And when Pennsylvania critter
Punxsutawney 'Siskel* Phil can agree
with Ontario rodent Wiarton "Eberf
Willie on our meteorological prospects,
you know there's gotta be magic in the
air.
In the absence of shadows north and
south of the border, the prognosis is one
of spring, spring, spring.
And where there are animals feeling
the itch, butterflies flashing their come-
hither colours, and flowers thrusting
their hairy stamen into the pollinated air,
spring can mean only one thing: love,
love, love.
It's a time of year so irresistible, even
j\ndie MacDowell can get romantic without making us puke.
But perhaps it's not so irresistible
after all. Groundhogs' predictions are
accurate only 37 percent of the time—
which is pretty shabby if the odds of success are one in two.
Then again, 37 percent is a pretty
good success rate for love—whatever that
might mean—when you're the sort of
passive loner who sits in a hole all day
and can tolerate an extra six weeks of
winter if only you have a shadow for company.
Iaet's face it, when you're bitten by the
bug, it's more than a little depressing to
find that presumptuous insect has
brought not Cupid's arrow but a more
perfidious virus, the flu. Perhaps, to
some medical minds, the sneeze counts
as a type of orgasm. But surely there are
better sinuses to spend, and better activities to spend them on.
Let us, then, banish the shadows of
dark, wintry discontent with the bright
blinding rainbow-coloured springtime
sunlight of unfettered lovin'.
First, a word of encouragement to our
sibling, the groundhog Willie (nice name.
letters
that). Get out of your hole, Bill! The sun is
up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so
are you. Here's hoping you find your
groundhogette> Or, if you prefer, perhaps
puckering up to Punxsutawney Phil
might not be so bad.
To all you students wondering who to
spend your time with while ignoring the
likes of Plato, Einstein and Dostoevsky
this reading break: just remember,
you're alive and amorous, vital and virile, and they're just plain dead. Take a
break. Go for walks. Smell the daisies
these giants are pushing up.
a\nd let's not forget our dear president, Diamond Dave Strangway. We can
think of no better wish for his future,
once his term is up, than a hole in the
grounds of some glorious golf course
resort, where he and that buck-toothed
spaghetti-slurping Caddyshack mascot
can keep each other warm in the waning
weeks of winter.
After all, groundhogs need love too.
Racism accusation
inappropriate
I am writing to convey MY annoyance with Dr. A. A Ojo for distributing subliminally ignorant and
fstidious imagery in the Letters
to the Editor section of
PageFriday on January 31, 1997.
In the Galashan/Nuttall-Smith
article from Tuesday, January 28
the use of the phrase 'dark complexion' was used for description
purposes only, AND FOR NOTHING FURTHER. If the suspect
was as a white male, the article
would have said 'Caucasian'. If
the suspect was of Oriental
descent, the description would
have included 'Asian',etc...
Further analysis of the suspects' description and allegations of racist imagery are not
only hypersensitive, but stupid.
The portrait of the suspect represents the ambiguity in the initial
SUB memo, and not in the
Ubyssey Staff report on the incident In what way can this be a
racist comment? There is no
mention of what race the man is!
In addition, is mentioning his
weight as 130 pounds pointing
the finger at slim people? Is mentioning his facial hair a slur on
men with beards? Or prehaps
they were stereotyping peepers
as males around 5'7* in height?
It bothers me when people
jump to conclusions and read
into things inappropriately, as
with the Doctor's comments last
Friday. The suspect's 'dark complexion' was just a necessary element of the description.
M. J. Graff
Engineering 2
Bad apples or
just sour grapes?
The allegations concerning voting irregularities in the recent
1997 a*iMS Executive Elections
have stepped far beyond the
bounds of simple concern over
the   legitimacy   of  the   voting
process and have begun to
accuse specific candidates and
slates of vote rigging.
Admittedly, any reasonable
observer of a student election
would admit that there is room
for fraud in the voting process.
Furthermore, this observation
holds true for Constituency and
even civic elections both at UBC
and across the province. Owing
to the cumbersome manner in
which poll clerks must verify the
eligibility of students to vote
there will always be some room
for 'fiddling" with AMS elections.
To place blame on an elections
administrator whose trying task
it is to work within this system is
nothing more than a pathetic
gi asping at straws.
I have no problem in labelling
the Action Now team as a pack of
sore losers. Most damaging has
been the allegation that certain
candidates or slates have benefited exclusively benefiting from
alleged voting irregularities
immediately following the
announcement of what must
have been disheartening election
results show nothing more than
poor judgement and bitterness.
How noble indeed to place one's
self upon high moral ground and
proclaim that only supporters of
the opposition would dare engage
in illicit voting practices. Noble I
will admit, but foolhardy indeed.
In my mind, any investigation
into the conduct ofthe 1997 election that could lead to the invalidation of the election results
would have to uncover an organized attempt to defraud the system. I very much doubt that any
candidate or slate engineered
systematic vote rigging to work
in their favour. In absence of any
finding of wrongdoing I call upon
representatives of the Action
Now slate to publicly apologise
for the irresponsible allegations
which they have thrown about in
the campus media, by official letters and through the AMS
rumour mill.
Jason Murray
AMS Council (Arte)
cont on page 11 ojvdbd
THE UBYSSEY, FEBRUARY 4, 1997    11
Letters cont from page 10
Thanks for yer support
Even if the question of the fairness of the
process in the recent AMS elections remains to
be decided, I feel compelled to express my position on the matter of voter support. Despite all
the irregularities I hereby want to extend my
gratitude to all those students that volunteered
their time and offered their time and offered
their support by voting for myself as their representative for the Board of Governors.
Whether it was our campaign strategy or my
lack of experience running as a political candidate that determined the unfavorable outcome
of the election, I am pleased with the result.
Although I did not have enough time to spend
with each of our supporters during campaigning we pride ourselves in adopting a grassroots
approach. I had the unique opportunity to individually share the vision of our platform and to
hear the concerns of at least 300 students.
Furthermore, to know that 1085 students
believed in our ideals and came out to vote is in
itself a strong reason to continue speaking out
on behalf of the students of this university.
Therefore I will make sure that the platform
that was supported by 1000 students is conveyed to the student representatives in the
Board of Governors. With their support I will
make sure that our struggle against increases
in ancillary fees and our proposed regulated
tuition and ancillary fee policy to be taken seriously by the Board of Governors. I also take this
opportunity to encourage students to speak
their minds on the issue of ancillary fee
increases in the next Board of Governors meeting two days from now. Real student activism
is not so much about having a lofty office or an
important title but about speaking out and taking a stand in the name of academic justice and
equality.
Antonio Zuniga
Board of Governors candidate
FREESTYLE:
New president pipes up
 by Casey Sedgman and Irfan Dhalla
Martha Piper, the woman who will lead UBC
into the next millennium, was in town last
Saturday to give a lecture courtesy of the
Vancouver Institute.
And she certainly pulled in the crowds; four
of Woodward's lecture halls were filled with
people eager to hear our university's president-
designate talk about the future of the world and
UBC's role in it According to Dr. Piper, UBC's
prospects couldn't be brighter. We are poised to
take an active role in the knowledge revolution.
After all, Vancouver's got the three Cs, as she
called them. We've got Concepts, we've got
Competence and we've got Connections: vital to
our survival in this new knowledge-based economy of ours. Or something like that
To be honest, her speech seemed trite, regurgitated and shallow. Her treatment ofthe knowledge revolution, as she calls it was nothing
more than a summary of other people's ideas.
The audience waited for Dr. Piper's own
insightful comments, but alas, they were not to
come.
Trumpeting the achievements of such luminaries as David Ho (an AIDS researcher who
was honoured as Time's 1996 Man ofthe Year)
and Cecil Green, Piper's emphasis was clear. It
is science and technology, she seemed to be saying, that will make UBC a world-class university.
And who knows, UBC may one day be a world-
class university. But any top-notch university
(even the nerdy ones like MIT) strongly support
the humanities, and Dr. Piper's commitment to
the arts remains ambiguous. In her speech, she
referred to the social sciences and humanities
only in passing, almost as an afterthought
But who can blame her? With a background
in the rehabilitative sciences and epidemiology,
one can be excused somewhat for blinking that
applied science is the way of the future. It's
what's happening. It's where the money is. It'll
put UBC on the map—literally. Sounds a bit like
somebody we already know, doesn't it?
But don't be misled. Piper is very likable.
She's enthusiastic and genuinely interested in
the quality of this institution. She had the older
set (and they were mostly older) eating out of
the palm of her hands. Her personal style will
be a great asset when we go looking for money,
as we inevitably will.
And she seemed honestly concerned about
the students going to school here. Which is nice
to hear, us being students and all. Climbing the
university ladder, unfortunately, comes with a
heavy price. Unlike the faculty who work at a
university, Piper can no longer afford to be flippant in her remarks, and she wasn't on
Saturday night (A front page headline in the
Vancouver Sun on Monday like 'UBC prez
endorses Jesse Helms'wouldn't be in her best
interests.) Unfortunately, giving politician-like
answers to questions about legitimate campus
issues leaves the rest of the university community in the dark, not a place where professors
and students like to be.
Still, Piper will probably make an excellent
president Her grace and charm will be of incalculable value every time she has to deal with the
provincial government Her persistence and
enthusiasm will allow her to raise unparalleled
amounts of money. And her deft manoeuvring
will permit her to evade the negative media
attention that has so haunted her predecessor.
But the 1500 people who were at Woodward
wanted to know the answer to one question.
Where will the Pied Piper lead her disciples? If
she knows, she wasn't revealing anything on
Saturday night ♦
if you think
she's...
- unique
- irreplaceable
- resourceful
- an asset to the
campus
Nominate her for the
Ubyssey's woman of
the year!
Tell us why in 50
words or less.
Submitt entries to
SUB 241k.
Deadline Feb.24'97
Treated
with
Tanpo,
Written and Directed
by Valerie Methot
l{( 11 tail i ii i(j:
Close S.iturdc
SOX OFFICE 822-2678
DOROTHY VTI'Uin
SOMERSET ,11 I Hill
UNIVERSITY    OF    BRITISH   COLUMBIA
7\MQ
jlII IkJ
^%^
Drouqn-
For Your Information....
AMS Elections
Unofficial results of the AMS Elections are
available from the AMS Home Page at http://
www.ams.ubc.ca as well as various display
cases in buildings throughout campus.   Results
will not be official until ratified through Student Council.   The next meeting of Student
Council is this Wednesday (Feb. 5) at 6:00 pm
in SUB Room 206.  All students are welcome
to attend.
Annual General Meeting
The AMS Annual General Meeting will take
place on Wednesday, February 14th, 1997 at
12:30 pm in SUB Room 206.  The agenda for
the meeting includes official business and the
AMS Executive Turnover.   All students are
encouraged and welcome to attend.
Mum
\Ak\
And the winner is....
Congratulations to Katarzyua
Andersz, first year Arts
student, who recently won
the Free Tuition Draw!
Katarzyua will receive free
tuition for the 1997/98
academic year!
Safety First!
Are you concerned about campus safety? Then
pick up a yellow brochure from SUB Room
238and campus safety offices such as Safewalk
and The Women Students' Office and fill out the
attached form. Drop the form off in any yellow
boxes in the aforementioned offices.   They will
then be presented to the University to demand
more and improved safety measures at UBC.  For
more information, please contact the AMS University Commission at 822-8725 or email at
univcom@ams.ubc.ca.
Housing Lobby
Don't forget to pick up your postcard to lobby for
safe and affordable housing in the Lower Mainland.   With a vacancy rate of less than 1% and a
growing number of students looking for decent,
affordable housing, we need to tell our municipal
and provincial governments that enough is enough
— students need to be assured that their housing
needs are met.  Pick up your postcard in SUB
Room 238.
Tangent Magazine
Next week, be on the lookout for the second issue
of Tangent magazine.  Pick up your copy next
Wednesday, February 12th at various locations on
campus! For more information, call Fran Champagne, Editor of Tangent Magazine at 822-9084,
email at tangent@ams.ubc.ca or drop by SUB
Room 249B.
Student Council Meeting
6:00 pm
SUB Room 206
All students are welcome
to attend.
MM
Treated with Tango
8:00 pm, Tix only $7
Dorothy Somerset Studio
Call 822-2678 for more info.
Written & Directed by Valerie Methot
•MM-
-jfelew Year - The Year of the Ox
l*"' '       "■ ll|$|mn to 2:30 pm
Jlr&Oen^ Uon Dancing
i.. and much morei
SUB Concourse:
Get Your X^jesfix3hoW#
sooner than everyone eJsef
Join us on Sundays at llie Pit
Pub at 6:00 pm foran early
broadcast ofthe X-Files!
Join Us at The Pit Pub
at 8:00 pm for another
sleazy, trashy night
- we're talking about
"Melrose Place", silly!
UBC Humanists Society Presents
"Humanism and Sociobiology"
by Dr. Pat Duffy Hutcheon
12:30 pm
Buchanan D205
Would you like to see your event
here? Call Faye Samson, AMS
Communications Coordinator at 822-
1961 for more info! 1 2    FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 4, 1997
THE UBYSSEY
The Kiss of dance
by Rachana Raizada
The Kiss Project
at Performance Works on Granville Island until Feb 23
Remember your first kiss? Imagine it three hours
long. For those who would rather not,(and I gather
the company which tried to sell the tenors with that
line has now filed for bankruptcy), the third annual
Kiss Project is now underway on Granville Island.
The live-week festival of dance, theatre and
music includes performances, workshops, discussions, demonstrations and, of course, the Kiss
Creations (Feb 11-23) in which writers, actors
and dancers each create an original five-minute
piece with a kiss and a moment.of stillness or
silence. All 18 pieces are performed each night.
The workshops cover a spectrum of performing arts from dancing to drumming, massaging
to mask-making. Don't know anything about the
difference between ballet, jazz and modern
dance? There is a discussion/demo for that too.
Judging by the first performances, the festival is
off to a promising start. "The First Kiss' (Jan 22-25),
an evening of premieres by five choreographers
set in the intimate setting of Performance Works,
was almost frightening in the proximity with
which it presents its performers to the audience.
The highlight of the evening was unquestionably 'Harold, Billy, Stan and Jack.' Choreographed
by Joe Laughlin to mafia music by Ennio
Morricone, this exceedingly clever and funny
piece of dance theatre was a miniature gangster
movie complete with a deal gone sour and a dead
body in a haze of cigar smoke. It is truly amazing
that such high drama could be created with nothing but four "men" in suits (actually four women),
three cigars, two spotlights and one sofa (the
focus of all the action).
'Liaisons,' created by Gioconda Barbuto to a violin sonata by Ravel, was an intricate dance for
three in some sort of constantly evolving love tri
angle. The piece was most notable for a
section   in   which   the   three   are
entwined with a long yellow ribbon
which they use most inventively to
ensnare and escape each other
AWOL Love Vibe provided the
spoken words for the evening
in Bad Boys, a generally
witty   and   very   well
rehearsed commentary
(on what exactly,  I'm
still not sure).
On January 2 7, Judith
Marcuse, the founder of the Kiss
Project, hosted a discussion on the
state of the arts and society Georgia
Straight    drama    critic    Colin >
Thomas criticised what he called
the ''dominance of the American
model," referring to "show business" and the Vancouver arts community's favourite whippmg boy
Sunset Boulevard. Derek Simons,
the    coordinator    at    the    new
Roundhouse facility in Yaletown, gave
a lively talk questioning the origins of
the myth that artists are opposed to
broader society. He laid partial blame
squarely where it belongs, on artists'
arrogance  and their tendency to
view themselves as the avant garde
and the rest of us as mere civilians
The last word goes to artist Gu
Xiong, who,  after describing
how   he   lived   through   the
Cultural Revolution in China
moved to Canada and started
again with absolutely nothini:
quietly urged his absorbed
listeners to "make a living      .
and make your art." ♦
Coimedy gets sporting chance
by Robin Yeatman^
THEATRESPORTS
at the Arts Club New Revue Stage
Being a confirmed sports illiterate, it is with pride and
joy that I am able to profess my loyalty to the recreational
activity of "TheatreSports." And, as an armchair athlete, I
can happily remain firmly planted in my seat while the
players do their thing
For anyone who is unfamiliar with TheatreSports, the
concept is very simple. Each night, two teams of actors
are given tasks by an arbitrator, tasks that are then specified by ideas from the audience. For example, if the task
iSsto act out a musical, the audience then chooses wheref/
y it takes place^ a health gba-to enstireiiat'&-i#ri#
\, are always improvising, and not acting out a script     -"!
For the brave, some audience participation is also
included in the show. The result is usually a sponta*
\ neons, side-splitting event, which is then rated by
\ three judges on a scale of one to five. The team with*.
/the most points at the end wms
■     Founded^ 1980, The Vancouver;TheatoSpg»rt^
League achieved world-wide recognition at Expo feEft
and has gone on to provide years of laughs and entertainment If you are lucky, you will have the pleasure of
seeing seven-year TheatreSports veterans Dean Haglund
(Langley from The X-Files) and Christopher Cassillan,,
whose singing talent serves to both astound and repulse.
/UBC graduate Richard Side (who has put a whopping i$*
years into TheatreSports) will kill you with a fab AlaM*
Alda impression.
The Tenth Annual St Valentine's Day Massacre
(January 29 to February 15) will "be TheatreSports'
jaext theme tournament. Teams from Vancouver
\ and Seattle will wage a friendly war to see whose, !
on-the-spot comedy is most laughable. Special tick-4
\etjtrices are offered for students, and adrnissioif ^
k is half price every Wednesday " ;-~t
\     If you need some quasi-athletic activity it*
your Me, take this opportunity to cheer on
1 what will become your most-favourite, fun-loving team in the sports worM ♦
Best Friend for Sale
1 Rubber Ducky for Sale. Makes bathtime lots
of fun. If you can give him a good home#
please phone 555-ERNIE.
f^|# Alf this isn't your typical ad, but who are we
wHV/% I to judge? Sure, we also have the expected headings like For Sale, For Rent, Rides Wanted and
Looking to Replace My Roommate from Hell.
Even if you never need to sell plastic waterfowl, isn't it
reassuring to know that you can? And that it's free?
Starting this week, classified ads are free for UBC
students. Just drop by our office in SUB 245 to book
your ad. The free student classified section will run on
each Friday throughout the school year.
Deadline: Wednesday at Noon.
the
v.iM.iiih^i'i'iuh'i.'m

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