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The Ubyssey Nov 15, 1951

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 -y
y
VOLU
AL FOTHERINGHAM
Campus
Chaff
Life in a Student Co-op or
"0 George, You've Got My
Underwear Again."
One of the most rewarding experiences In attending university
in living In a student co.op house.
The abode at 4082 West Eighth Is
no exception. The official title is
the University Students Co-op \s-
soclatlan ($42.50 per month. Al.
100B). Of course there are othei
names upplled to it — the poor
man's Taj Mahal the Engineer's
Refugee Camp,  etc.
One thing Is for sure, life at
the Co-op ls never dull. Take Sunday for instance. On Sunday the
hotise-mother has her day off. *fhis
means that one of the lucky lfi
Who reside at the Co.op has to
cook Sunday dinner. Some of the
monstrosities served up by tho amateur chiefs would drive the ordinary eater to Slippery Joe's Greasy
Spoon Cabaret but the boys resign themselves to their fate with
the attitude of "You think THIS is
bad. wait till my turn comes."
Faithful
But you must give credit 16 the
boys, they remain faithful to their
faculties. The Engineers prepare
their meal as if they were build-
ins a bridge (one can usually detect a faint taete of concrete,) the
aggy thinks he is feeding silage
to the own, the pharmacy stud,
ents brew up concoctions resembl-
ln Petunia's Pink Pills for Pale
People and the artsmen—ah, their
meal Is a work of art (abstract
art.)
Of course there are rules U
the Co-op. There Is a rule which
states that a member may not remain in the phone booth for more
than IS minutes. One Casanova
forgot himself one evening while
whispering sweet nothings in his
girl's ear and hibernated In the
booth for 'WvefW hours.
Instead of handing the culprit a
parking ticket the sporting lads
merely slipped one of those crosses between a, bazooka and a fire.
crt.*cker Into the tiny phone booth
and slammed the door. The resulting explosion was heard as
far away as North Burnaby and
gave the girl friend such a jolt
at -the other end of the lino she
now refers to the boy aa Urrol
Flynn.
Malt Factory
The beer strike doesn't worry
the boys at the Co-op. Showing
the wisdom of Solomon one of the
■boys prophesied the strike and set
up his own little malt factory In
the basement. The enterprising
student Is now paying his way
through college by selling his goot
to the boys. Most of the fellows
mysteriously go blind after several
bottles of the brew but they c^re
taken care of. The brewer, never a
man to pass up a loose buck, pi<ks
up a little pocket * money by renting seeing-eye dogs to guide the
boys  to and from classes,
Living at the Co-op Is very educational for growing young boys.
It would be very educational for
growing young girls, too — but
there are  rules you know.
Quarterbacks
Jelly Andersen may not realize
this but the Co-op dinner table Is
a fine breeding ground for future
(luarterbacks. Some of the hoys
cun lilt the gravy bowl witli a loaf
of bread at in  paces.
Jelly would turn green with envy
If ho could see one of the boys
wlie.il the cry of "bread" goes up.
The whole left side of the '.(■ble
snaps Into cracked-wheat formation, the passer fades back three
plates and rifles a pass over the
out.strelched aims of the celery
stalks to Lhe receiver In tli * end
zone.
Needless to say downfield blocking is taboo on the dinner 'able
(lose more damn plates that way).
The boys nt the Co-op ($12.50
per month, AL lOOfi) would like
to give fair notice to the Harlem
Globe Trotters and other interested cagers: they are not soiiu: to
enter a team in the intramural
basketall   league.
You have beou warned.
The Ubyssey
VANCOUVER, B.C., THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 1951
SCENTS
NO. 22
Vote Favors Status Quo
Gives Go Ahead To Alley
GROUP OF UNUSUAL VISITORS to the CBC studios in Vancouver recently consisted
in part of these members of the International Students Club at the University of British
Columbia. Left to right they are: E. Shillingar (Austria) George Suchy (Czechoslovakia),
Eva Lyman (Czechoslovakia), Kathleen Pound (Canada), Nellie Vanderbock (Holland),
George Rohn  (Czechoslovakia), Glio Kubelka and Werner Kubelka (Brazil).
A DUNKING WE WILL GO
EUS Challenges Artsmen
To Give $200 In Dimes
Artsmen may yet save their president from the Illy pond.
If they can donate $200 to the
Engineers march of dimes for
crippled children, the Sciencemen
promise to lay off the dunking.
If they don't, Artsman president
James Genls will be thrown into
the Illy  pond at 12:30 Thursday,
November 22, the day set for the
drive.
Genls was saved from this fate
last Thursday by a doctor's certificate, but Engineers refuse to accept the same excuse this time.
But since $200 only amounts to 8
cents per ArLsman, Engineers are
certain   they   won't  have  to  take
Auction Nets $67
-■«
The AMS had some fun, disposed of a year's accumulation of
lost articles and made $67 at their Chinese Auction noon Wednesday in Brock Hall. One lucky bidder left the auction richer
by one 14 carat gold wedding ring obtained for less than a dollar.
  —*•    I'nder    the    unique    "Chinese"
i system,   the   AMS   often   realized
Ottawa
To Make
PE Awards
OTTAWA — Scholarships valued at $6,0(10 for post-graduate study
In physical education, recreation
or physical medicine are to be
awarded this year by the National
Council on Physical Fitness, the
acting chairman, J. H. Ross, announced here today.
Set up three years ago to help
overcome the scarcity of professional personnel with advanced
training in physical education and
recreation, the scholarships are for
post-graduate study only and are
restricted to Canadians who have
had at least three years' full-time
experience in physical education
or recreation ln Canada, Including
a^t least one year's experience since
obtaining an under-graduate degree.
The total value of the scholarships this year has been increased
from $4,000 to $ti,000, No award
nuvy be made for more than $1,-
200 or less than $;100. Deadline for
applications   is  January   15,  1952.
Scholarship winners must agree
to return to Canada to work for
a*i  least  two years.
Application forms are obtainable
from provincial government fitness
or recreation offices or from the
National Council's office iu the Department of National Health and
Welfare, Ottawa.
Pre-Med Tests
For Saturday
PRE - MED tests, required for
nil students applying for Medical
School next year, will be held in
lint Mil on Saturday, November 17
al I p.m. Please be on lime and
brint;  a   pencil.
over  $1   on  one article.  EwTi  bid-
dor   paid   only   the  difference   between his bid and the preceedlng
! bid.
Joan MacArthur held the article while auctioneer Bill Sparling
urged the customers, and three
other councillors collected the
lids In a hat. When Miss MacArthur raised her hand the bidding was over and the last bidder
got the article, often for as little
as  10 cents.
Among the article* were u
watch, which went for 25 cents,
and several umbrellas which were
displayed open over the auctioneer's head In defiance of the
old   superstitions,
Old '48 and '49 Totems drew the
highest  prices, one selling for $4.
Proceeds from the auction v/*"
go Into the AMS funds.
Next auction will be held on
Friday! November 23rd.
Hind-Smith
ISS Delegate
HAMILTON — (CUP) — Midline 1 Hind-Smith, former UBC student leader who Is now taking
post-graduate work at the University of Toronto, will represent the
National Executive of the ISS at
a regional meeting of the NFCUS
and ISS H.t McMaster University
on  November 4.
At the morning meeting, region
al mandates, including McMaster's
job of investigating the possibility
of royalty cuts on university
stage- productions, and student exchange visits  vvill be discussed.
Thc afternoon session will find
Syd Wa*x. the International Activities chairman, reporting on the
question ot" the Soviet Student's
visit.
Tt Is expected that delegates
from Western, Toronto, OAC,
Queens. Assnmpi ion. Waterloo and
Curio-ton   will   attend   the  meeting.
such severe measures.
The main mall y/i\\ be converted Into a full scale carnivtvl Thursday noon to earn the $500 quota
set for the drive, with novelty
chariot races, cigarette-rolling contest, cigar-smoking race a>nd a spitting challenge.
Co-eds and male students will
compete in a tug-of-war; forestry
students will scale the heights in
a  pole-climbing  contest.
BUS officials hope the Lady Go-
dlva* Band will make its first appearance on the campus to provide
music for the other events and the
gym team, which last year provided half-an-hour of entertainment,
will be on band fcgain.-
Campus gamblers can place bets
on the chariot races, in which, it
is hoped, every active faculty will
enter a team.
20^o Student Body
Registers At Polls
By JEAN SMITH
UBC students went to the polls Wednesday to register
approval of,v (1) the present student council make-up, and, (2)
the proposed construction of a $26,987 bowling alley in the War
Memorial Gym. $
'TWEEN CLASSES
Barrister
Blasts
Russia
Vancouver barrister Frank MacKenzie gave Russia- a blast for
the capitalism which exists in the
country today, in an address to
CCF Club members Wednesday.
He stated "Approximately two
to three million salaried, skilled
people representing three per cen
of the population formed the ruling factor in Russia. They control
the morals, education and arts of
the masses. Forty per cent of the
students attending unirersities In
Russia today we children of these
people. The class is therefore self
perpetuating.
After the Russian revolution the
Bolsheviks employed the ruling
classes formerly undei the Czar,"
he stated.
These were replaced by a ma*n-
gerial class which came from the
worker.
"Marxism is inadequate In itself," stated MacKenzie, "We need
to replace Capitalism with a democratic  organization  of industries,
'"The Socialist ideal of CCP is
equality of opportunity for each
individual to develop to the fullest extent." concluded  MacKenzie.
Education should be available
to as many as could possibly benefit by It, lie said. People should be
tree to pursue their own ideals
with respect to religion and vocation.
Music Club Feature
Copland, Gershwin
MUSIC Appreciation Club presents "Appalachian Spring" hy
Copland and "Rhapsody in Blue*'
and "An American in Paris" by
Gershwin on Friday. Nov. lfi, at
12:;'.(l in Double Committee Room,
Brock Hall.
In the AMS referendum on constitutional revision, students came
oi* in favor of status quo over
three alternative plans by#a vote
of 413 to 321.
Much stronger approval was glv.
en to the bowling alleys with 704
In favor of them and only 257
against.
Student Interest in the tv/%questions seemed low with a total vote
of only 074 or less than 20 per
cent of  the student body.
BUI Neen, chairman of the dec-
lion committee, said the small turn
out at the polls might be due to
lack of publicity, but „was more
likely the result of general student apathy.
The referendum settles once and
for all a question which has been
the butt of countless discussions
and Ubyssey articles, and has
twice been deferred at AMS general   meetings.
Of the three other plans put before the students, Plans I and II
would have made the greatest
change. Plan I proposed a 15 man
council, eliminating , the junior
and sophomore members, substituting for them three members-at-
large. Plan II would have expanded
the councU to 22, also eliminating
the junior and soph members aud
putting In their place 11 presidents
of the Undergraduate jocietieei.
Plan III, an elaboration of the
status quo, would have done away
with junior and sophomore mem
tiers and substituted in their olaces
two members-at-large, thus keeping
the number of council members an.
changed.
Three ballots were needed to
reach a decision on the constitutional amendment question. On the
first ballot, the voting was status
quo, 270; Plan 1, 147; plan 11, 142;
plan   111, spoiled  240.
The second ballot, with plan II
eliminated showed status quo, 20;
plan I, 8(i; and plan III, 36. On the
third ballot, between status quo
and plan I the count was 114 and
88 votes respectively.
On the bowling alley question
student approval merely means approval in principle, not approval
of a specific contract. However,
AMS president Vaughn Lyon has
stated that if immediate action is
taken on the alleys they could be
ready about the middle of next
January.
Banfield,
Paris In
Debate
PARLIAMENTARY FO^UM will
debate on "Separate Schools" In
Arts 100, at 12:30 today. Armand
Paris will represent the Government, Miss Jane-Banfield will lie
the Leader of the Honorable Opposition. The speaker, Jeff Turner will open the debate to the
floor before question Is called.
MAMOOKS — there will be a
general meeting of all members on
Monday at noon In the Men's Double Committee Room. Brock Hall.
THI8 YEAR'S residence girls
are sponsoring an Informal dance
in the Brock Hall on November
16. Last year's girls a*re invited to
come and  bring  their escorts.
LUTHERAN Student's Association meets today at 12:30 in Arts
20H to discuss plans outlined by
Clyde J. Orlmatoedt. Western Regional Secretary of National Lutheran Council Student Service.
All interested students are Invited
to attend.
THE CIVIL Liberties Union is
sponsoring the visit of a well-
known European labor-leader to
the campus. Mr. Mux Schactman,
who is both author and translator of others' boofcs, will speak
on Friday, at 12:30, in Engineering 200 on the subject "The United States, 1051." In his speech he
will discuss the state of civil liberties  in  the United  States.
UBC SYMPHONY Orchestra rehearsal will be held In the Band
Hut, Thursday night at 0:15 p.m.
All members are urged to attend,
as there are only three rehearsals
before the concert on Dec. 5th.
THE BOTANICAL Gulden Society presents slides on alpine
flora on Friday, November 1G ut
12:30 In Biology 100. Dr. Taylor
will   speak   on   the   slides.
EL CIRCULS Latino Americano
McGill Coeds
Use Sidedoor
MONTREAL— (CUP) — McGill
University has initiated a new *'ul*
ing regarding entrance to the Arts
building.
Now men must enter by the; will meet this evening at 1437 W.
main front door, while tine coeds 140th at 8 p.m. Guest speaker will
hiuve been delegated to use the j be S. Alnianzi.*, Mexican Consul
side door  and  the side door only. '• iu Vancouver.
AUDITORIUM   JUMPING
FOR   FRIDAY  CONCERT
Popular radio announcei* Monty MacFarlane, will MC
a 'Concert in Modern Jazz' by Tommy Sulhers' All-Stars,
Friday Noon in the Auditorium.
Seven of Vancouver's best Jazz men will be in tho
group; Carse Sneddon on trumpet, Fraser McPherson on
alto sax, Stan "Cuddles'' Johnson on bass, and Wilt' Wiley
on piano. A new man in town from Winnipeg, Al Johnson,
will handle drums.
Arranger for the group Dave Pepper, will also bo on
hand with his trombone. Tommy Sulhers, leader of the
group, will be making a switch from his more often heard
•baritone to tenor sax. Page Two
THE UBYSSEY
Thursday, November 15, 1951
THE UBYSSEY
MEMBER CANADIAN UNIVERSITY PRESS
Authorized as second class mail by the Post Office Dept. Ottawa. Student subscriptions
11.00 per year (Included ln AMS fees). Mail subscription $2.00 pr year. Single copies
five cents. .Published throughout the University year by the Student Publications Board
of the Alma Mater Society, University of British Columbia. Editorial opinions expressed
herein are those of the editorial staff of tihe Ubyssey, and not necessarly those ot the
Alma Mater Society or of the University.
Offices in Brock Hall, Phone ALma 1624          For display advertising, phone ALma 3153
^EDITOR-IN-CHIEF LES ARMOUR
EXECUTIVE EDITORS-ALLAN GOLDSMITH MANAGING EDITOR—DOUG HEAL
News Editor, Don Brown City Editor, Dennis Blake: CUP Editor, Sheila Kearns;
Women's Editor, Florence McNeil; Fine Arts Editor, John Brockington; Copy Editor,'
Jean Smith.
Senior Editor—ELSIE GORBAT
Balderdash
. Few sights could have been more ludicrous than last week's display of "peace proposals" by Mr. Truman and Mr. Vishinsky.
By now, most people must realize that
Truman's proposals were carefully worded
so that the East could not accept and Mr.
Vishinsky's proposals precluded any support
from the west.
!>' ^
Truman proposed an immediate cease
fire in Korea (on U.N. terms), international
inspection of arms followed by disarmament,
and a four-power conference on peace.
1 §
Ift could not very well expect a cease fire
on U.N. terms and his other ideas weren't
much more likely to gain support.
The Russians want disarmament followed by inspection—not the other way around.
They figure (perhaps with cause) that the
inspection gimmick is geared simply to let the
U.S. know what Russia's strength is and that
tt would be followed only by stalemate on
dlaarmament.      /'
The four-power conference, of c&urse.
would not include Communist China, and the
East refuses to bargain without Mao at the
table.
Vishinsky replied with a proposal for a
Korean cease fire somewhere about the
thirtyeighth parallel, outlawing of the
A-bomb, disarmament before inspection, and
a five-power conference on peace.
The West naturally doesn't want to settle
Korea on the thirty-eighth parallel—somewhere well behind their present battle lines.
The A-bomb is America's biggest ego-
booster and Truman isn't likely to let it go
without a lot of other things happening first
A Fair Deal?
It is time the Ostrom Plan is studied
to find out just what it is doing for our
sports programme. It appears that some teams
•re highly subsidized while others are operating on a minimum financial allotment.
American football players receive by far
the most considerations. As a team they travel
best, command the most publicity and are
given the most support. As individuals they
prosper most from the directorate funds. Examples of player benefits are the two weeks
of free room and board, the issue of boots,
socks, tee shirts and the free laundering service. These benefits are not available to members of other teams. Nor, except in extreme
cases, are provisions made for non footballers
to have their tuition and book costs paid by
outside interests.
The soccer and swimming teams are
probably tjie worst off. Soccer players on
their one annual trip to Nanaimo are required
to pay all expenses themselves. Swimmers,
Who must pay half the pool costs when practicing are allowed, because of a small budget,
to attend out of town conferences with only
sixty percent of their members. At that they
Laughing Matter
"Ridi, Vyshinsky, eognun applaudira!"
■    (with apologies to Leoncavallo)
Laugh, Vyshinsky, and all the world will
shout "well done."
Those who have opposed you all along
will rub their hands in glee, and take up the
righteous stance of "we told you so."
Those who have stood on the sidelines,
not knowing where to turn, will thank you
for the simplification of the issue at hand.
Those who with misguided, yet idealistic
fervour have followed you along the tortuous
twists of "dialectic'' reasoning and tactics will,
no doubt, join you faithfully in your merriment. Yet it will fall to them to explain, or
skirt, the unpleasant fact that you have
laughed at a peace proposal.
Quite obviously the three-power resolution for a peace settlement does not offer a
Vp A 7ree
They found him when thoy
opened up the library a*t 8
o'clock yesterday morning.
He was wandering aimlessly
around the foyer, muttering to
himself.
He was a little guy with
a crushed, hound-dog look.
When he saw them come ln
th*e door, he became* quite ex.
cited, jumping up and down,
all the while pointing upstairs
to the main reading room. Although they tried to calm him
down, he was Incoherent, but
very glad to see them.
They turned him over to the
Health Service people who fin-
Editor, The Ubyesey
1 have been folio wing with
great Interest the new trend in
Ubyssey editorials, and am quite
amased, especially by the last one,
and the Americans are quite sure that Russia
won't disarm without inspection—whatever
Pravda may say tfbeut battleships being turned into scrap.
A five-power conference would include
Communist China and the U.S. refuses to
dicker with an unrecognized government
which, it is felt, seized power illegally.
N.,ur.uy, th.™*™, not*,* ^•^Irr-Tvfi'tS.'rs
The wtiole thing might have passed as a
good barrage of propoganda from both tides
but for Mr. Vishinsky's unforgivable blunder.
He laughed when Truman talked peace.
And a world eagerly waiting the slightest hint of peace could not help but be embittered.
Mr. Vishinsky has probably undone
months of Soviet labor in one single sentence: "I could hardly sleep for laughing."
Mr. Truman's plans might have been totally unacceptable. But surely they could
have been used as a bargaining point for some
worthwhile moves for peace.
If, instead of giving out a horse-laugh
and instead of replying with a set of pro
posals clearly not acceptable to the West, Mr.
Vishinsky had prepared a compromise program the onus for further negotiations would
have been on the West.
As it is, it will be rather difficult to convince the wc-jrld that Russia is any more interested in peace than the West.
The Kremlin, 30 years*ago the symbol
of hope for millions of oppressed people, has
clearly become just another citadel of sharp
politics.
must pay over one quarter of the travelling
expenses.
Rowers are somewhat better off. Fof the
privilege of practicing every night for weeks
at a time the individual must join the Vancouver Rowing Club at a cost to himself of
fifteen dollars. Tee shirts and packets must
also be paid for from the pockets of the boatmen.
It is time UBC realized it is a Canadian
University and not a weak reflection of an
American campus. Football is not the only
sport on this campus. English rugby if given
the publicity, cheerleaders, and support could
bring fame to the University. The spectator
appeal cannot be doubted when considering
the large crowds witnessing the annual games
on the campus with the Golden Bears.
Soccer, basketball, hockey, rowing, and
swimming should likewise be given a fairer
share of the athletic grants publicity and student support.
Instead of imitating' the commercialized
spectacle of American sport we should revert
to our tradition of sport for the love of sport.
—RON FOXALL.
drastically new solution. It reiterates the
demand of the western nations that disarmament would have to be subject to some sort
of international control.
It demands the sacrifice of "one pure
ounce of sovereignty."
We are probably as sceptical as Mr. Vyshinsky that any of the world powers would
be willing to let go of its preciously guarded
sovereignty for the "mere'' sake of world
peace, but, alas, we find it no laughing matter.
Last Week Senator B. de Farris hinted
at the Young Liberals convention in Vancouver that the last laugh would belong to us.
When the time comes for the Last Laugh
to echo across the world, it will not matter
where that laugh comes from. The laugh will
l;e on all of u.s:
—JOE SCHLESINGER.
parently the climax of Mr. Armour's newspaper career. He claims"
to be the mouthpiece of all the
students, he speaks for them, he
gives personal opinions on behalf
of them. He ls very quick to champion "public opinion" on the cam-
pus. Why not, when he thinks it is
his own? We assume that if Mr.
A, so states, then most must
agree with htm. What happens if
jyr. A. tried to put as a headline
on his editorial: "Most agree with
Mr. Armour?" He should try It.
He says thiH most agree but he
himself disagrees. According to
Mr. A. It is unfortunate that Mr.
Gardner la-id the majority of the
blame on the West. Further he
says that It is doubly unfortunate
that Mr. Gardner's statement
tends to support the feeling that
peace movements are pro-Communist. The attack on DP's ls «-lso extremely unfortunate—Mr. Armour
says. But he' and most still do
agree! On what? What a confused article of the Edltor-ln<3hlef!
Further, Mr. A, defends the
SPM, saying that only one of the
founders was a Communist. By
the way, how does he know who
was and who Is? The Intention of
the SPM is to provide a forum to
discuss the vital problems of mankind is undoubtedly very nice.
But why were the founders not
satisfied with the chance giv«n
to them by the UN'? Doesn't Mr.
A. think that the UN Club Is an J
appropriate place for such discus- \
sions?
As far as the DP's are concerned, I think lt would be a waste of
time to discuss this point. I shall
not be surprised if Mr. Armour
considers me as one of those DP's
who are spreading malicious propaganda and generating internatlon-
a*l distrust. But I still do not believe, Mr. Armour, that most agree
with Mr. (lardner or with you.
Sincerely,
George  Rohn.
Editor, The Ubyssey
I think the campus book store
s unity's from three aJAments.
These are poor service, high prices and a frequent tendency to he
out of stock of much needed books
and materials.
The Inevitable line-up ln the
book store a*re served by an under-
maned and often slow staff. Some
texts are not available for weeks
after school starts, and often rec-
ommeded books are not carried.
The price of books seem to have
their own separate inflationary
trend—ever upward.
While It may not seem fair to
place the total blame on the book
store Itself, perhaps if Its operation were turned over to a* private group, some of the obvious
defects in its functions could be
remedied.
David Youngson,
1st year law.
35   YEARS OF SERVICE
TO THE  UNIVERSITY OF
BRITISH COLUMBIA.
ITS FRATERNITIES
AND SORORITIES.
THERE'S A REASON
STATIONERY AND
PRINTING CO. LTD.
'WE      pftci f IC   OI7I
ally succeeded in getting a rational story from him some
two hours after he had been
found by the library staff.
"It all began," he said,
"when my alarm clock went
off an hour early this morning. I didn't realize I was an
hour ahead of myself until I
came to school and failed to
find anybody around.
"I decided to go for a walk
to put In the time until my
8:30 lecture. Just off the Main
Mall, I ca*me upon a beautiful
garden full of trimmed box
hedges and stone benches. I
wandered In and soon discovered a lovely lily pond
with a jet of water shooting
Into it.
"Then I looked up and saw
. . ." Here the little guy shook
his fist In the general direction of the library. His eyes
became glassy and he lurched
to his feet. Shuddering he regained sufficient control of
himself to continue.
"I looked up and saw a
large grey building that I
don't   remember   ever   having
With Chuck Coon
seen before. Something made
mi..* elinib those* steps to the
door. Something drove me on
to try the revolving doors.
They turned and before I
knew it, I was inside where
you  found  me.
Again that strange urge *to
investigate further and I
found myself climbing some
more stairs until I stood . . ."
A great convulsion shook his
frame. He sucked in a* deep
breath and continued, "and
I stood in a huge hall, but all
I could see were books, thousands of books, millions of
books, books and more books,
nnd books and books . . ."
At this point his narrative
t railed off to a mumble in
whicli only the word "book"
could be made out.
The Health Service people
then sent him home to spend
the rest of the day in bed.
They advised him to trade
Ills alarm clock In for an ice-
bag.
But they still haven't found
out how I got into the library
before   S   o'clock.
Nov. 15-16-17       Thurs. Fri. Sat.
Bird of Paradise
Louis Jourdan — Debra Paget
Jeff Chandler
Gretn for Danger
Trevor Howard — Sally Gray
VANITY THEATRE
LEARN TO DANCE
•    QUICKLY
•    EASILY
•    PRIVATELY
3 Lessons $5.00-10 Lesions $15.00
Frances Murphy
Dance School
Alma Hall      3679 W. Broadway
CE. 6878 — BA 3428
STUDIO
suggests a
Christmas and
Graduation
Portrait
We have Cap,
4538 W. 10th Ave.
(OpJ). Safeways, 10th and Sasamat)
flown   &   Hood
ALma 2404
Vancouver Branch Office — 402 W. Pender Street
ERIC V. CHOWN, LLB.. Branch Manager
ONLY
}
fa
V
New 'Vaseline' Cream Hair Tonfc
— thc cream of them all! The
pick of ihem all for men who
want their hair to lunk natural,
feel natural — have that "just-
combed" look all day long. The
only hair tonic containing Vira-
tol*. Try a bottle today.
"Gilt's your h.iir I nitre — keeps il in
place wil hunt stiff nets.
mMsemGwM'Hairlonii
■Tf*40e-'ir1AHK
1035  Seymour  St.   Vancouver,   B.C. Thursday, November 15, J.951
THE UBYSSEY
Page Three
Opens
A degree in Home Economics
opens the door to "hundreds* oi
careers" for women, according
to a UBC Home Ec student.
Connie Newman, 2nd year'Home
Be, explains that her course "Isn't
just sewing and cooking as most
people seem to think.-'
Connie, who intends to specialize in commercial nutrition, must
take courses in chemistry, physics,
bacteriology, commerce, economics, biology, clothing, experimental
cookery, nutrition, diet therapy,
Institutional buying and administration  and  child  phychology.
Home Ec students usually take
post graduate courses ln either
teaching, dietetics, or Interior dec.
oatlng, torn which they may specialize in nutrition, demonstrating
work, advertising and writing,
cafeteria management or sewing
and cookery instruction.
, Connie will intern .tor six
months at a hospital dietetic school
possibly in Montreal, where she
will make practical application of
university-taught theory.
COACHING
TWO 4TH ,YEAR CHEMISTRY
students will coach oa* hold classes In Chem 100, *00, 800 for students who require help in these
subjects. Phpne AL 1296L between^ and 8 p.m. 22—10
FRENCH STUDENTS. COACH-
Ing by spebialist. M.A. (UBC) Phonetic School at Sorbonne, Paris,
Numerous successes with backward students. AL 2792Y. 22—3
LOST — BLACK FOUNTAIN PBJN
Eng. 406. Please contact Eddie -t
CE 4284. 21—4.
NEW PSYCHOLOGY 100* TEXT
hook. Jim Patterson, phone AL
0071,  Fort Camp.
WOULD THE PERSON WHO
took a blue raincoat, by mistake,
from the Chem Bldg. please return same. No questions asked.
ROOM AND BOARD
TWO STUDENTS, TWIN BEDS,
close to Varsity. Available AL.
3174-M. 19-3
WANTED
FUND OF BACTERIOLOGY BY
LaSalle and Principles and Practices of Bacteriology !>y Bryan.
11 nt 2D,  Acadia ('amp,  AL 0026.
22—2
FOR   SALE
FORD MODEL 'A' SEDAN. Phone
CE. 2.'.37. After 6 p.m. 19-3
MOTORCYCLE, TRIUMPH 500CC
in excellent condition, complete
with saddle bags, etc. Low mileage.
Phone AL 3442L. 20—2
1947 BSA BANTUM MOTOR-
cycle. Excellent condition. Running like new, $135. Phone North
1266R3,  Dick. * 22—3
MIDNIGHT    BLUE,    SINGLE
breasted tuxedo and tails. Size 38-
40, tall. KE 2497
NOTICES
COhOR PORTRAIT WORK AND
lighting for color will be the topic
discussed by Ben Hill-Trout, extension dept. photographer, &<t the
Wednesday meeting of the Camera Club in Arts 208 at 12:30. Non-
members welcome.
IMPORTANT — SPECIAL DEM-
onstratlon lecture on portrait taking. For Camera Club members
only, Wednesday evening 7:30 ln
Hut 1' 12. Attend Wednesdays
meeting for further Information.
All members out.
DEPT. OF PHYS. ED PIANIST
for ballroom In dance classes
Thursday 10:30 please apply Miss
Bryan, Women's Gym.
VVILL RAY PARKINSON PLEASE
call at AMS Office** for his mall.
WILL TYPE NOTES OF STU-
dents of Art Department, Handwriting must be legible. No shorthand, Terms to be arranged. CE
382.   Mrs.   Moore. 16—8
TYPING DONE AT HOME. REAS-
onable and accurate. CE 9778.
Mrs. MacLeod, 2496 West 8th Ave.
16—10
TYPING, ESSAYS, Theses, manuscripts, card work, letters of application. Notes a specialty and
mimeographing. Eloise Street, Dalhousie Apts., University Area,
Campus rates. AL 0G5oR.
"TYPING UONE BY EXPERIEN-
ceil typist in English and German.
PA   1708   between   9   and   12   a.m.
17—fi
TYPING OF ALL KINDS BY AN
i.x'ierioncod graduate. Accurate
,iiid reasonable. Half block from
ri!C bus terminal. Mills VV Nth. AL
AL   :!2I2L. •
Players Owb Scores
In Three Xmas Productions
By MYRA OREEN
The (three plays chosen by
the Players Club (or Its annual
Christmas performance last
night were an excellent combination.
The first play, "The Tragedy
of Tragedies" or "The Life and
Death of Tom Thumb the
Great," a satire on the tragedies of the 18th century by
Henry Fielding, Is a worthwhile
play that ls seldom produced.
Directed by Peter Mainwaring, "Tom Thumb" ls a difficult play In that Its comedy
relies a great deal en an understanding of dramas of Uie
18th century.
Although some of -tbe minor
characters were not able to une
the restraint necessary to complete the effect the overall pre-
loumance was still an enjoyable
farce fpr the twentieth century
audience.
Included In those to be cited
were Impulse DeVtek and Vic
Mitchell, two newcomers who
showed much understanding in
their roles of Queen Dollallolla
and King Arthur.
Thorton Wilde^'s "The Happy Jpurney from Trenton to
Camden," has been done many
times but Doreen Odllng and
Don Withrow managed to put
oyer many of the finer points.
At times it was difficult for
the audience to visualize the tip
or "piece out the inpepfections"
as the program states for with
the bare stage much Imagination on the part of both the
performers and the watchers Is
essential.
Janie Wright does an adequate
job of putting over the mother.
Ron Con gives a very realistic
performance as tihe normal son
who is "always on the go."
"T h e Second Shepherd's
Play," concerns three shepherds who saw the Christ child
and heard Ae angels. Fitting
in with the Christmas theme
this medieval morality play
was dealt with very realtstlcal**
ly.
Director John Thome and assistant Val Clyne did an excellent job with the three shepherds.
Tom Shorthouse, Lloyd Pisa-
pie and Ted McAlpine were
very well contrasted. Doris Chll-
eott, playing Gil the sheep-
'Stealer wife was worth watch*
ing in her 'portrayal of a sloven
ly wife who pretends to he suffering from childbirth.
Derek Mann ,set designer,
used a practically bare stage
with different levels and cleyer
lighting. It was very effective
and according to club memibers
made the entire stage costs
only $4.95.
Production manager was Joy
Coghill well-known ln Vancouver theatricals. The plays were
all well suited for supposedly
mature university students. Another student preformance will
be given tonight. Friday evening ls re-served for faculty and
Saturday for the general public.
Totem '52, on sale at the AMS
office till Nov. 16, -will be a record of social events and cultural
activities, giving a complete coverage of sports, clubs ,and outstanding   personalities,   a   virtual
pictorial diary of your, year.
The Totem will not be avaUa^Ue
in April. This year the Tfltefn 1"
printing   only    the   number  »of
books ordered in advance.
*
i' i
In ihis modern age, nickel helps
a lad to grow up strong und
healthy, Lod liver oil, tooth
paste, medicines and toilet prep,
arutions are all processed in
tquipment made of pure nickel
or nickel alloys.
Today bicycles are being made
stronger, more durable — but
lighter in weight — with the
help of alloys made strong and
tough by the addition of nickel.
In the dairy, the purity of milk
is protected by the use of nickel-
alloy materials in the pasteurizers, coolers, bottling machines
and eltur equipment.
Hundreds of everyday uses for Nickel have been
developed by the Nickel industry through a
planned program of research. Today a large share of
Canada's Nickel production is being diverted from
peacetime uses into channels for preparedness. So
the Nickel mine facilities, greatly expanded over
the past decade, are again being operated at peak
capacity. There is actually more Nickel now being
delivered by Canada to the free world than in
any peacetime year.
"Thr tivmanir ul Nickel"a 60-pate
book fully iUmlmlitl, will be sent
fret on rtiiuril Iv aiiyviie inlrrulid.
'IUW Mil*
THE    INTERNATIONAL    NICKEL    COMPANY   OF    CANADA,    LIMITED,    25    KINO    STREET     W.«   TORONTO Tape 4
THE UBYSSEY
Thursday, November 15, 1951
WOTS
WATT
By CHARLIE WATT
LAST Thursday was a dark, humiliating day for the University of British Columbia. Think of it friends — the
freedom of the press was challenged, on this campus.
Ubyssey staffers were—driven from their beloved Pub.
Dire threats of death and destruction from 'the Reds drove their
noble partriots Into hiding. But still the work wa-s carried on. Beaten
but undefeated, they fled to the library, the auditorium, even to the
cat did they flee, with precious "copy" clutched to their bosom.
* * *
One man, and one man alone remained to stem the attack of
the maddened Hordes. Les Armour? No! He fled with'his umbrella
clutched to hla bosom. This man who remained to the laat, was none
other than Alex MacGlllivray, undaunted Sports Kditor.
Yes friends, crouched behind a barricade of Remington-Rands,
with trusty blundenbuss clutched tightly ln his hot little fist, MacGlllivray made his last stand.
* * *
ABOUT 5:30 p.m, Friday, we decided there wasn't going to be an
attack after all. (Of course! we expected that). V. Fred Edward*
was sent down with a tiny white flag, to Inform Mac. that the
danger was over. An earth-shaking roar reveberated throughout the
subteranean channels of the Brock. Fred came running up the stairs,
his tattered white flag clutched in his hand. "MacGillivray's still down
there, but he's stark, raving mad,' Edwards shouted. "1 guess the
silence was too much for him."
* * #
A demoniaclal laugh floated up from the general area of the
Sport8 -office: "They'll never get me alive'' the high pitched voice
shrieked.
>uly, last Thursday was a fatefull day in the history of UBC
Four tragedies resulted from the thoughtless action of a certain barbaric element of the campus;
1. A. MaeQINivray, former Sport* Editor, is stark, raving mad.
2. Mae It •till barricaded in the Sports office, and will remain
there until hit ammunition runt out,
3. The entrance to th* ladies room, which facet th* Sport* off ie*,
it piled high with tht bodies of slain cotdt, victims of Deeper-
at* Al'* Laat 8tand. (He mistook them for Engineers.)
4. The Sports office, it now located In tht Men'* washroom (in the
bat*ment of tht library). At a retult, we ar* frtth out of eopy
paper. Havt you ever tried to write a column on toilet tlttut?
Gads, Wha' Hoppen To Our
Soccer Squad This Year?
IF LIGHTNING doesn't strike
twice in the same place, what
is this that has hit UBC's soc-
cering Thunderbirds during
the last two outings?
IT'S NO surprise when the foot,
ball team gets itself stiffened by
American opposition but when the
powerful 'Bird fltba' enthusiasts
lose not once but twice in succession one might suspect something
drastically nasty has happened.
OUCH
You see the Thudenblrds two
weeks ago got themselves bush-
wacked way out In Sapperton, 3-1
by a team which hasn't looked too
Impressive in league pity this season.
BUT TO add insult to injury the
locals Sunday were humiliated by
the Coast league's last placer:'
South Burrtaby Legion 3.1.
THUS the standings today show
that UBC's perennial rivals thi
Collingwood Athletics way up on
top while 'Birds languish in third |
place, an unhealthy 7 points behind.
It IT possible this year's team
Is a* fizzle? One would hardly
think so considering that only a
tew minor changes have beWn
made since .last year. Last season
you will remejnber, the Thunderbirds capped the most brilliant
seaaon turned in by the UBC team
winning the Vancouver and District League Shield, the Imperial
Cup, 12 big blocks plus the
Bobby Oaul award which went to
Bobby Moulds.
And yet the team thit year
should be romping through their
division.
THKY HAVE one of the Coast
A league's finest performers Ivan
Carr coaching them, the best goal
keepers in years. Mike Puhach and
an all-round, well . balanced club.
What Is the trouble?
NOBODY, unfortunately seems
to know.—ALEX  MacGILLIVRAY.
10EWEN CAPTURES FENCING
CHAMPIONSHIP ON WEEKEND
On Friday and Saturday UBC fencers again brought
home the bacon for UBC.
And sitting right on top of the heap was Charles Loe-
wen. Charley suprised everyone, including himself, by winning the International Open Fencing Tournament.
'Birds Finish
Season Sat.
Saturday will see the Thunder-
bird gridders play their last game
of the 1951 season against the
Whitman College Missionaries
from Walla Walla.
Coach Joe Beidler's squad hae a
record of five wins at the expense
of UBC ln as many years, but then
tbe 1951 Thunderbirds are a 'wonder team" when compared to the
squads that we have fielded ln the
past.
So that you will not be disappointed, get your tickets at the
Memorial Oym now. An overflow
crowd is expected for this last
game of Varsity's best season ever.
Crew Meet Today
There will he an important
meeting of the crew tomorrow,
Friday, in Arts 101, at 12:30. It Is
expected that John Warren, the
crew captain, will give a complete outline of coming activities,
in addition to club news, and a
financial report, so all members
are  urged  to attend,
Say "HAPPY
BIRTHDAY"
Tastefully, Gracefully
With a
Beautiful Bouquet
Goblins Visit
Toronto U
TORONTO—(OUP)—As a Hallowe'en hangover, witches, goblins,
or perhaps unidentified people left
more than a dozen painted signs on
University of Toronto buildings,
Nearly all the signs Included the
word "Skule," Implying the artists
had a preference for sciencemen.
The damage done by the paint
has been extensive. Caretakers
stated that the paint could not be
removed from the buildings without
defacing the stonework. Doors at
Trinity College required reflnlsh-
ing and a caretaker received a possible fractured hand removing
signs.
The Student'®,, Council held an
emergency meeting to investigate
general rowdyism and vandalism ou
the   campus.
SQUISH, SQUISH
\\
Sports" Go Shopping
By VIC EDWARDS
Although this story has nothing
to do with sports we In the department of Almac feel that lt
should make interesting reading
or good space filler on a dull
day.
It all started when sports wli-
tor Alex MacC.illivray and I set
out to visit a downtown Jewelry
stoic (during huslness hours) to
put a down payment on an order
of rings for the baseball team
that we coach during the summer
months. (Take all this In one
breath.)
After arriving safely In the es.
tahllshinent, we proceeded to .he
counter where one of the women
clerks approached us gleefully
(sh© must have noticed the 50 dollar cheque In my hand). The following conversation  followed:
W. Clerk—"flood morning gentlemen. What can I do for you?''
Almae (wishing that he had
taken Ills morning vitamin juii't1).
"I wiU11 to put down h payment
on an order of rings."
W. Clerk (still gazing at the .VI
dollar cheque iu my hand). "What's
your name?"
Almac "Alex MacGlllivray."
W. Clerc "Not you, the one with
the check."
Me I'm Vic Edwards, but you'll
find the order under MacGillivray's
name."
W. Clark "Yes of course, here it
Is. Is this your permanent address,
Mr. Almac?"
Almac "Certainly."
W. Clerk "Just so we can contact you."
Almac   "I   understand."
Me (aside to Al.) "Maybo we
oughta get her address, she's got
out 50 dollars."
W. Clerk "Here's your* receipt
young man. We'll Inform you when
the rings are ready."
Almac "Well I'm glad that's over.
"Let's   head   out   to   university."
Almac "We got lot's of time."
"Co'mon, I've Just got to have my
morning  tonic   of  fruit  juice."
We then travelled into a cafe
where the followng events took
place:
Waitress (showing her unlver.
sity education.) "What'll you have
gents?"
Almac "A glass of grape Juice.''
Waitress (picking herself up off.
I lie   loorl.   "And   you?" i
Me   (meekly).   Nothing,   honey."|
Waitress (taking off her stockings) "Would you like dark or
light?"
Almac   "Dark."
Waitress "I'll Just be a minute."
Me (questioning Al) "Why did
she take off her stockings?"
Almac (with burst of laughter)
"Maybe side ls going to tramp on
the grapes."
Just then waitress emerges from
starts playing exotic music and
Almac continues laughing. He says,
"I can .'ust see her squishing
the grapes to that music. Squish,
squash,   squish.'
Me "I bet she stands -In a mud
puddle efore tramping them to
give the juice a dark effect."
Just then waitress emerges rom
the back carrying a small glass
of grape Juice.
Waitress (setting the juice in
rront of Al). 'Sorry it Isn't too
dark, but come back on a nice
rainy day.'
With that Al payed the hill and
wo depart for the hallowed halls
of learning.
Before we go we would like to
leave you with the moral of our
story:
If you like grape juice in the
moruiug grow your own grapes.
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All wool, silk, velveteen, poodle
cloth — plain or patterned.
Choose black, blues, red, gold,
pink. 9.9S - $38
Skirts to flaunt the charms of
the crinoline! Rustling taffeta—
hugs the waist swirls to hemline!   Clack,   12   to   18.   Each
12.95
— IIIIC  Sportswear,  Third   Floor

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