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UBC Publications

The Ubyssey Mar 13, 1934

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 '.    l»T«»i_a\ird.
Issued Twice Weekly by the Students' Publications Board of The University of British Columbia
No, 39
Importance Of Mental Attitudes
Towards International Affairs
Stressed By Lecturer Friday
Dr. Koo Emphasizes Necessity Of Education Of World Peoples
With Regard To Each Other
"Men's minds and hearts are trying to build up a structure
Hurt will pave the way to the new international order. It is necessary for .us to build up not only the structures but the type of
mind and heart."
With these words Dr. T. Z. Koo began his lecture to the student body Friday noon. Dr. Koo is a graduate from Shanghai
university and internationally known for his work with students. He spoke under the auspices of the Student Christian
When he began to visit outside o*a~"~"
China, Dr. Koo remarked, he found
that he could learn to love other
countries and yet retain a love for
his own. He discovered that In spite
of rapid communication, and schools
to widen the horizon ignorance stUl
exists between nations. We form erroneous ideas about each other because of such things as our clothes
and music.
"In this country," Dr. Koo said, "I
do not mind being taken for a woman
because of my gown for then I am
treated with consideration but in
other cases such mistakes may lead
to more serious consequences."
Must Dispel Ignorance
"We, as men and women must try
to break down the field of ignorance
We must take time to read, to meet
people, to talk about customs. This
we can do.
"We must try to look at ourselves
as other see us." Dr. Koo illustrated
this principle by an anecdote taken
from his first trip to India. At that
time, he said, he thought the Indians
would be more sensible and much
cooler If they wore flowing robes Uke
his own. But an Indian student told
him the wind blowing his skirts
looked like a flag drooping at half
It is hard for us to sympathize because we think of each other rs
types. Christ met people in their own
right as persons. Men were drawn
to Him because they realized they
were known. A knowledge of each
other as individuals develops international understanding, sympathy and
Emphasis on Likeness
We place more emphasis on differ,
ences than on the fundamental likenesses, Dr. Koo pointed out. In the
west a child is encouraged to demonstrate his affection. In China, he is
not. The way of expression is different but what is expressed is the same.
The differences are superficial.
"Internationalism is more than sentiment and good will." During his
travels throughout the world Dr. Koo
has noticed that "no matter how we
live our lives today there is a sense
of unrest 'ind dissatisfaction with the
life we are living . One section of the
world has organized itself round one
great principle and a second section
round another. India has specialized
in theology, China in ethics and the
west during the last three hundred
years has endeavoured to master the
physical sciences. Our life has been
sectional, incomplete and .therefore,
today the world is dissatisfied and
restless. Life developed on one plain
can never give the satisfaction we
seek. Tne integration of our experience with God, man, and the physical universe brings the complete Ufe.
Individual Work Needed
"This phase of the work," said Dr.
Koo in closing, "can not be dealt with
by governments and the league. Tho
spade work is for us to do individually. Therefore, I plead you will let
your minds range in International
thought, and help build a more reasonable order between races and people."
Following the address Dr, Koo
played Chinese folk songs on his
flute. The songs were chosen from
the folk tunes of Canton, Shanghai,
Shantung and Peking.
A major in "Alibi last year, this year
he is a general, a burly son of the
soil who has risen to be Caesar's right
hand man.
Al — II — H — II — II — I   Ml   «i   !«!««»««
I Students are choosing
" the new President of the
Alma Mater Society today by casting preferential
ballots in the Students'
Council office, Aud. 305,
between the hours of ten
and four. The winning
candidate wil hold office
during the session 1934-35.
Nominations for other
Council offices must be in
by four o'clock. Elections
for these positions will be
held next Tuesday.
PI a t forms
Candidates for the presidency of thc
Alma Mater Society presented their
platforms to a poorly attended meeting in the Auditorium yesterday noon.
Those candidates in the running arc
Stuart Keate, Walter Kennedy, Murray Mather and Jack Shaneman.
Due to the limited time at the disposal of the speakers there was UttU
opportunity to present any comprehensive programs.
Spirit Revival Pleaded
Keate pleaded the necessity of reviving the much-vaunted Varsity
spirit. He suggested Introducing American footbaU in order to provide
inter-collegiate competition. The suggestion was also made that Ubywey
advertising be placed in the hands of
a orofessional agency.
Kennedy emphasized the necessity
of the faculty of Science having «»
representative on CouncU. If elected
lie .romised to bri.ig about closo. cooperation between aU the faculties.
Experience Stressed
Mather declared that his previous
Council experience gave him the best
opportunity to judge the needs of the
students, and gave special emphasis
to the need of a level-headed conservative administration, with a sound
financial poUcy.
Shaneman stated that his record as
Treasurer of the Alma Mater Society
was sufficient to merit his election.
He had taken the office with the intention of contesting this election, and
had been gaining experience in the
past year.
AU the candidates were seconded
by supporters from the student body
who emphasized their respective
Mark Collins who occupied the
chair, criticized the students for the
lack of interest displayed.
Exchange Members
Will Give Lecture
On Stock Broking |
Actors In Readiness
For Grand Opening
Preparations For Tomorrow Night Now Complete
Two more speakers are scheduled
to speak before the students ln the
series of lectures sponsored by the
vocational guidance committee of the
Alumnae Association. To-morrow at
noon Mr. A. E. Jukes, president of
the Vancouver Stock Exchange, and
head of one of Vancouver's large brokerage houses, will speak on the subject of stock broking as a profession.
The lecture wUl be held in Arts 109.
' The following Wednesday the
speaker will be Mr. Mayne D .Hamilton, Superintendent of Pacific Coast
Branches for the Canadian Bank of
Commerce. As Mr. HamUton's office
controls the placing of the staff of
his bank in all its many British Col
umbia branches he Is eminently fitted
to discuss the opportunities that banking offers as a profession.
This lecture will mark the last of
the series for this year.
Student Rush Tickets Sell At Forty-five Cents
The annual banquet of the Women's
Athletic Association will be held
Thursday evening at 6 o'clock ln the
$50,000 is to be added to the provincial government grant to the University of British Columbia for the
year 1934-35, according to the budget
as presented to the legislature yesterday by the Minister of Finance, Hon.
John Hart. The grant wil thus be
raised from $250,000 to $300,000. While
this of course will not permit a return to the courses as offered two
years ago, it nevertheless is an assurance against further curtailment
of the curlculum, and shows that the
university still has friends who recognize the financial difficulties which,
it has had to encounter during the
last two years, as a result of drastic
reductions both in the grant and in
the enrollment.
As a culmination to weeks of effort and intensive rehearsals, the Players' Club are now all prepared to present tomorrow
for the first time their 1934 spring production, "Caesar and
Cleopatra," by George Bernard Shaw.
Seats are now on sale on the campus with reserved seat
prices of $1.00, 75 cents and 50 cents. For these performances the
seating plans have been entirely re-arranged and there are now
500 excellent seats provided at 50 cents for each night. Wednesday, Friday and Saturday nights will be general admission
nights while Thursday night the house will be reserved for students with rush seats at 45 cents.
♦ The Players' Club are fully expectant that this year's spring production
wiU be outstanding in the annals of
the club. They are presenting a play
of recognized merit, by a matter
writer. In every phase of the production infinite pains have been
Th. stage effects will be outstanding lor their novelty and modernity.
FuU advantage wUl be taken of the
really excellent facilities provided in
the University Theatre. Latest developments in the drama will be emphasized.
The principal members of the cast
have all proved their abUitles in previous productions. The play wlU be
directed by Miss Dorothy Somerset,
who last year gained considerable
fame as the director of the prize-
winning Little Theatre entry in the
Canadian Drama Festival at Ottawa.
There will be a meeting of the
combined Senior Classes on
Thursday, March 15, in Arts 100
at noon. This is an important
meeting and there is a great
deal of business to be discussed.
AU members of theh classes axe
particularly asked to be present
Who plays the fierce and fiery Ftatat-
eeta, "Mistress of the Queen's Household."
Russia Now On Up'Grade
Says Noted Journalist
Carl J. Ketchum Pictures Soviet Conditions To Ubyssey
Annual business meeting of the
Mend; Grass Hockey Club will be
held Friday, March 16, at 12:10 sharp
She plays opposite Bill Sargent in
"Caesar and Cleopatra," which opens
tomorrow evening In thc Auditorium.
With next Friday's issue, the Ubys-
Arts   102.    All   members   are   re-   sey will cease publication for thc year.
A Graphic picture of conditions in
Russia was given to the Ubyssey last
week by Carl J. Ketchum, for 10 years
war and special correspondent of the
London Daily Express and formerly
with the Vancouver Province.
"Soviet Russia has turned the corner," he declared. "After a period of
two years involving her in what was
probably the most acute food crisis
experienced since the crushing famine days of 1921-22, she has emerged
from her main difficulties and may
now be said very definitely, for thc
first time since the revolution, to be
on th. highway toward relative prosperity."
Mr. Ketchum spent five winters in
the land of the Soviet since 1922 as
a journalist and this summer travelled some 7,000 miles through twelve
republics and autonomous regions of
the Union at the instance of the National Council of Education of Can
ada in order to secure material for
lectures which he is in Canada to
deliver under the auspices of the
Record Harvest
"Three major factors have contributed to the turning of the tide in the
Union of Soviet Socialist Republics,"
said Mr. Ketchum.
"First is the record grain harvest
reaped this summer; for not since
1913. when the country had its last
peak year, has it known such a bountiful yield of what. This is important for it means that, whereas during
last and the winter before fully 500,-
000 people perished of starvation in
thw Ukraine and the Northern Can- j
casus alone, owing to crop failures,
this winter, for the first time in these
anxious two years,  the Russian peo
ple, workers and peasants alike, will
get bread.
"American recognition comes second in importance. The moral effect
of this alliance with such a powerful
friendly democracy as the United
Stages will be tremendous. Its very
anticipation a few weeks ago when I
was still in Moscow had created a
fresh and very noticeable buoyancy
of spirit among the rank and file of
the populace. Th. fact too that the
agreement reached at Washington is
almost certain to result in an early
American credit to the Soviet of at
least $500,000,000 for the purchase of
foodstuffs, machinery and other commodities urgently required under the
terms of her second Five Year Plan,
gives th. country even more tangible
grounds for rejoicing.
Secret Mission
"Not that President Roosevelt's
move was a precipitate step taken
at Washington the moment he came
in contact with the engaging personality of M. Litvinoff. For the story
of America's preparation in Russia for
the event is a drama in itself. For
months American agents have been
travelling up and down the Union
gathering facts, figures and impressions for transmission to Washington,
their information being supported by
daily despatches ancl private messages
from a small corps of America's best
correspondents stationed in Moscow,
Then came one diplomat after another
always on 'mysterious unofficial missions,' finally culminating in the visits in October of Senator McAdoo and
Colonel  Charles  Lindherg.
"One has only to glance at the fig-
(Continued  from Page Two)
Science of Music
Institute Topic
Will the future see alleged singers
facing a mechanical device to be used
for studying the quality of their
voices? This startling question was
suggested by Professor J, G. Davidson, of the Department of Physics,
when he gave an illustrated lecture
on the subject: "The Science of Musical Sounds" before a meeting of the
Vancouver Institute held on Saturday evening in Arts 100.
"Air is in vibration as it transmits
a sound-wave", declared the speaker
as he opened his address with a discussion of the wave-motion of sound,
He illustrated his remarks with slides,
showing that rarefaction follows condensation in this motion.
Mr. Davidson then defined frequency, or pitch, as the number of an object's vibrations per second. The
normal range of the piano is from
about 27 to about 8,000 vibrations per
second. A "regular train of sound
waves gives the effect of a musical
Dealing with the "well-balanced
choir,' he revealed that there was "a
tremendous range of energies through
which our ears operate." Individual
membres of an audience always experience different receptions. The
lecturer used a rotating disc and a
piece of cardboard to illustrate his
The construction of the. ear was explained to the audience—but it appears, in the final analysis, that "we
don't know how we hear after all."
Resonance and vibration in ears
were next disposed of, and Mr. Davidson showed how a sounding-board
responds to any impulses coming to
it. Thc essential feature of the violin
is "the mutual action between bow
and string."
"Musical effects were known to the
ancients—the medieval world was familiar with them — but it remained
for moderns to discover the numerical, or quantitative, aspects," declared
the speaker. The quality, or tone, of
a sound is determined by the number
of overtones present—thus they enable us to distinguish between different voices and other sounds.
Brief experiments with thc elimination of these overtones from  musi-1
He is well known for his appearance
with the Players' Club in last year's
spring production.
Tuesday, March 13—
10-4, election for President of
A.M.S. in Auditorium 303.
Noon, Monro Pre-Med. Club
In Applied Science 101.
8:13, Astronomical Society in
Science Building.
Wednesday, March 14—
Evening, Players' Club production, "Caesar and Cleopatra"
in thc Auditorium.
Literary Forum.
Thursday, March US-
Meeting of combined Senior
Classes, Arts 100, noon.
cnl and vocal recordings concluded
the study of what Mr. Davidson
termed "a most fascinating sort of
Presidential Elections Today; Council Rooms 10 to 4
j Page Two
(Member C.I.P., FJJ!PJ-.)
Telephone: Point Oray 906
Issued twice weekly by the Students' PubUcation Board
of the Alma Mater Society of the Unlvqrjlty af British
MaU Subscriptions $2. per Ttaar.
Campus Subscriptions $1.50 per Year.
■ iVilfl . I 1.1-
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF: Norman Hacking
Tuesday: Pat Kerr Friday: John Cornish
News Manager: Archie Thompson
Sports Editort Dick Elson
Aacociato Editors: Zoe Browne-Clayton, Boyd Agnew
TUESDAY, MA3CH 13, 1934
The meeting of the candidates for the
Alma Mater society yesterday was not very
encouraging either from the calibre of the
speeches or the size of the audience. Allowance must be made, however, for the difficulty
in presenting any,sort of platform in the short
time allotted.
There was no excuse for the smattering of
students that turned out to the meeting. Tho
election of the Alma Mater President is a matter of the most vital importance to the univer
aity and yet only a very few students showed
enough interest to see what their candidates
looked like and hear what they had to offer.
There is no excuse for any member of the
Alma Mater Society not casting his ballot today. Students have been given a full opportunity to read or hear what the candidates have
to offer, and the respective merits or demerits
have been discussed in full
Cast your vote to-day, and show that the
privilege of the franchise is not a mere ornament for the politically-minded few.
The efforts of the vocational guidance committee organized by the Alumnae Association
have been very successful this term. Students
have turned out in encouraging numbers to
hear the speakers sent up from the city. It was
noticeable however at the last meeting that
there was a decided falling off in attendance.
If these lectures are to be maintained there
must be a whole-hearted support from the student body. It is discouraging to the speaker if
the interest shown by him in the welfare of the
students is not appreciated.
There will be two more such lectures this
term. Tomorrow Mr. A. E. Jukes, will speak
on the profession of stock brokerage. The following Wednesday the guest speaker will be
Mr. Mayne D. Hamilton, Superintendent of
Pacific Coast Branches of the Canadian Bank
of Commerce, who will discuss banking.
As both these speakers are well-known
Vancouver business men, a large turn-out will
benefit both the audience and the university
as a whole.
A thousand times I vent my grief
For I have lost my liberty;
A thousand ties too poignant brief
Have bound my soul, my aU, to thee.
All things of equal loveliness	
The budding trees, the swaying grass,
AU things of beauteous loneliness
I cannot with mere glances pass.
For white blooms teU me of thy brow,
Whispering trees of thy clear voice
And gurgling brooks which laughing flow
Of eyes in which I oft rejoice.
Thus, thou my eyes have gently sealed
Against all earthly beauty now, * "
For aU these things to me reveal
Only the pureneas of thy brow.
Members of Students' 'Council have always been and always will be fair game for
mockers.   Their quaint foibles, their sins of
omission and commission this phrase
used in the glib and harmless ministerial fashion  are observed by a myriad critical
eyes, and set forth with embroideries in this
Phlllistinic sheet. Not the least of the scoffing
is that which has been levelled against their
gowns, which have been likened by the sacri-
ligious to smocks, and even to black nighties.
Here and now, I break with tradition and
raise xfty voice for the gown. Gowns lend dig'
nity; they inspire in freshmen the awe proper
in youth to age; the wide sleeves are admirable
storage-vaults for lunches and Liberties, and
the sight of a senior loping to a lecture with his
gown, symbol of majesty, blowing out behind
him in a March gale lends an ascetic touch to
an otherwise frivolous campus.
This touch is at present lacking. Wherefore, if another year sees us once again racketing out copy against time, Peter-the-Ape and
I will agitate loudly for the return of the gown,
and the dignity that goes with it.
Class and Club
The regular meeting of the Art
Club Scheduled for Wednesday, March
14, has been postponed until March
21. Dr. A. F. B. Clarke will speak on
Russian Art, and he has kindly invited the club to hold this meeting
at his house, 5037 Maple.
"Caesar and Cleopatra", which a well-organized publicity campaign has for the past
few weeks advertised to students and to the
people of Vancouver as the Players' Club production for this spring, should be an especially
interesting one. For it is in three respects a pronounced departure from the clubs' efforts in
former years.
In the first place, it is on a grander scale and
has a much larger cast. Then again it is of a
different type, and will give local audiences a
taste of G. B. Shaw's much vaunted wit, while
at the same time it will give the experimenting
actors and producers a new medium of expressing their talents.*And finally, it is featured by
the innovation of scenery that not only is an
experiment along modern lines, but also is the
work of the club's own technical crew. This
again affords a means for expression of the abilities of the participants and also will give
spectators an idea of modern tendencies in
theatrical presentation.
In consideration of these facts, and of the
immense amount of work which every member
of the club has consequently had to expend
on the undertaking, it behooves every student
who can possibly do so to show his or her interest by going to witness the results of their
ded our space disgracefully even as we're doing
now.   And "
"Please, Peter, no more," I begged. "You
paint a dismal picture. Isn't there one thing at
least that can be said in our favour?"
"About all that I can venture," declared
the ape, "is that we've kept running, and served
up verses almost every week. Shall we let it
go at that, Bill, and say good-by?"
So observe us now, hand clasped in paw,
ready to take our leave. Not a formal 'good-by'
though; just so-long. A pleasant expression
that it merely means "Till next time.'
Where the long blue ridges lean their heads together
Above an Island river, beneath an Island sky,
Sprawled on a sldehlU ln the smoky August weather
I sang a river, and watched the gods go by.
(Laughing in the sunlight, sobbing In the shade
Out of pagan country from the rugged Beaufort
I sing a western river, curved like a blade,
Slashing through the wilderness for sixty golden
I watched the gods%walking, bright against the mournful
Green dusk of cedar with the sunshine on their hair;
The new gods together, lithe and young and scornful . . .
0 but they were scornful, and O but they were fair!
(When  the  wide  wings hover  above  the twilight
And the wild things come to drink, querelous and
All along the shifting bars and the shadowy reaches,
Then, then the river-voice swells Into a cry.)
1 heard their strong voices, golden as the burning
Fierce Ught that ringed them, terrible and sweet;
What they said I know not ... I only know the yearning
Miles of August wilderness worshipped at their feet.
(Who stoops to my river, thirsty after drouth
Will find therein nepenthe against the aching years,
Will find all other waters bitter in his mouth
And die with the river-voice ringing in his ears.)
O I am mad with beauty, and go my ways dreaming
For there is no forgetting, now or ever after    ,
The new gods of heaven beside my river gleaming,
And golden through the heat-haze their young, immortal
-T. M.
The final meeting for the year of
the Philosophy Club will be held at
the home of Mrs. Coleman, 2834 West
41st avenue, to-night, at 8.00 o'clock.
After the election of officers and the
reading of a paper on "Australian
Natives" by Mr. Ward, a social evening will be held which will bring the
year's activities to a cloae.
Applications for membership in the
Philosophy Club will be received
from thoae who have completed an
introductory course in PhUosophy
and who are interested In discussing
phases of PhUosophy and Psychology
which are not stressed in the courses
given by the Philosophy Department.
AU appUcatlons thould be sent to the
secretary, Robt. C. W. Ward, care of
Arts Letter Rack.
There are a few vacancies for membership in L'Alouette, open to students proceeding to the upper years,
who have an interest in French. AU
students, either men or women, who
are interested are asked to send in
their applications to the secretary,
Doris McDiarmid, Arts Letter Rack.
The final meeting of the Classics
Club will be held at 8 o'clock, March
13, at the home of Professor Robertson, 1866 Westbrook Crescent. Two
plays will be presented, "The Price
of Freedom," by Naomi Mltchlson,
and "Women in Parliament," by Aristophanes. Second year students who
are intending to proceed ln Classics
are cordlaUy Invited to be present.
They are asked to hand in their names
to Alice Roberts, secretary. Will till
who have not yet paid their fees
please bring them to the last meeting.
Student's night, March 19, at 8.00
p.m. in the Auditorium of the Medical-Dental Building. All students Interested are invited.
"How it is I couldn't possibly explain,"
said Peter-the-Ape to me, "but here w<? are,
almost through our last column. Strange how
time flies, isn't it, Bill?"
"Strange, indeed," I replied, lifting an eye
from the minor Elizabethan dramatists who
make my days a torment and my nights a
sleepless misery. "What have we left in the
bin, Peter?   Enough for a grand denouement?"
'I'm afraid not," said Peter, beginning to
excavate in his usual haphazard style. Dead
copy flew in all directions under his energetic
paws, covering the floor like a fall of autumn
leaves. "One book review, the one we were
searching for a month or so back. By the quite
illegible writing, I'd say that D. R. sent it in;
you'd better apologize to him, Bill."
"I will," I promised. "What else have we?"
"Some poems, all of them very vile, yours
included. A math I. text I'd hoped permanently lost, and several stale lunches. Can we
say that we've finished the year successfully?"
"Of course!"' I assured him. "One must always say that, true or otherwise. The politicians do it, so why shouldn't we? Suppose
now you play recording angel and list our
faults and virtues, if any."
"Very well," agreed my little literary ape.
"More than once we've altered and extended
contributions until they appeared so disguised
that even their brain-parents could hardly recognize them.   Then we've quibbled, Bill, pad-
The Letters Club will hold the joint
meeting with the Graduate Club tonight, Tuesday, March 13, at 8 o'clock,
in the Women's Upper Common Room
at the University. New members particularly are invited to attend
Tuesday, March 13, 1934
Soviet Rising
Says Ketchum
(Continued from Page 1)
ures of imports and exports in Russia
for the first six months of 1933, also
revealed in the splendid trade information service of the American-Russian Chamber of Commerce in Moscow, to appreciate Canada's opportunity.
"Russian purchases in this period
totalled 190,914,000 roubles, mueh of
which money might have—and might
still—come to Canada."
Mr. Ketchum here gave some interesting figures.
"In imports for the six months in
question," he pointed out, "Germahy
took first place with produce valued
at 98,985,000 roubles. England came
second, with goods sold to Russia valued at 18,257,000 roubles and Italy
third with 9,455,000 roubles worth of
"In the complete list of thirty-five
and some odd countries Canada is
last with exports to Russia amounting to the insignificant sum of 400
"Export figures from Russia for the
first six months of 1933 must likewise interest Canadians," continued
Mr. Ketchum, "although, let it be
stated, Canada is one of the few
countries in the world that does not
appear in this list at all."
"Germany comes first with purchases totalling 47,835,000 roubles; England again takes second place with
purchases, largely of timber, amounting to the appreciable sum of 31,773,-
000 roubles; then France (13,166,000 r.);
Belgium (12,108,000 r.); and Italy (11,-
215,000 r.) in the order named among
purchasing European countries.
Mr. Ketchum, asked about present-
day conditions in Moscow and the
Soviet Union generally, went on:
"1 noticed astounding changes ln
the two years since I had been there
before,"- he said; "An architectural
or, perhaps more properly I should
aay a 'building* metamorphosis had
taken place in Moscow. A hundred M1Mta__ r._„iB Mv«-. m-_«_*m„_
fine new buUdings including a tenlw,,t,rn Ctnada' whw* P'0"***1™
atory structure covering an entire j '*«"•*■• always eager and adventur-
block to become the largest hotel lit °us enough, are chary of the loneU-
Brinf You This
Alarm Clock Free I
A dependable, sturdy and attractive
timepiece with • musical ring that will
wake yew pleasantly In tha momlngl
Wa easy te set end Is guaranteed—
Imt Mve Poker Hands, mm the Turret
•alter Hand oaehanao beards at cigarette counters which will enable you
to hasten the completion of your sets,
Soon yo* will have Poker Hands
enough for any ef tho many splendid gifts.
Peter tlaadt an elm pathsd vita Terret
tap-rial Tob-coo Compear et Cansds, IM.
Eaaays      Theses
French Osn
General Stenographic Work
Terms Moderate
Work received In Arts Bldg.,
Editor, Ubyssey,
Dear Sir:
Now that we have heard the campaign speeches of the candidates for
the coming elections let us think the
matter over for ourselves.   The nominations include men from both Arts
and Science.   Also it is a fact that
Science prides herself on her ability
to organize—as vreil she might.   However, let us not overplay this accomplishment.    An election  is the very
time to exercise cne's individuality,
that i.« what th. franchise is for—and
does not the secret ballot here help
the weaker of us.   It is not fair to
oneself—nor for that matter to civilization as a whole, to allow some
one else to buUdose him into doing
something of which he, secretly, does
not approve.   Take for example the
possibility of a few Sciencemen deciding to  .lect a Science candidate.
They  might play up the ability  of
Science to organize and then suggest
organizing   to   elect   this   candidate,
Some students, especially in the lower years, would fall for this line right
off the bat, thinking that this would
once again show the superiority of
Science—and incidentally turn a few
breaks their way next year.   However,  the deeper thinking fellow  is
going to realize that if the election
of a Science candidate is going to benefit him only at the expense of the
rest of the University, this is the time
for him to exercise his individuality
ancl to do as he,  personally,  thinks
right—even  though  it   might   maan
voting for a man from another Faculty.    Any superiority that is being
shown comes from this chap.   He is
able to forget his own petty grievances and ambitions and is showing a
bit of that "We'll all pull together"
spirit—for the whole University.
Now don't gather that my motto is
"Don't vote for a Sclenceman." Far
from it. But think the matter over.
Sum up the candidates personally, decide from an unprejudiced view point
on the best man—and vote for him.
the Union, are rising to completion.
Several mUes of the city's streets
have been tunnelled for the first time
in history for a deep-level underground raUway modeUed on the famous London system; this ia to be
opened for traffic at the end of next
New Hotels
"A score of new hotels have come
into being in various parts of the
Union. In Moscow the hotels—and
there are many of them now—have
improved 100 per cent in meals, service and accommodation. Whereas
also, two years ago, travellers were
received by indifferent porters who
seemed not to care wheher you came
or went, today every hotel has its
staff of commissioners, attired in
smart green and gold uniforms, white
glows and an air of dignity and courtesy equal to that of any concierge
"Two years ago If you walked down
any of the principal thoroughfares of
Moscow or Leningrad after dusk,
shops were poorly lighted while the
streets themselves seemed dingy and
dark. Today militiamen in neat uniforms and again, white gloves, direct
the traffic signals of the standard international (European) traffic control system, while the streets, under
the impetus of what appears to be a
'brighter Moscow movement,' have
become a blaze of incandescence.
"Canada would do well to make a
study of the collective farm movement In Russia," suggested Mr.
Ketchum. "lt might quite conceivably solve the problem of settling our
vast undeveloped territories In nor-
ness and the drudgery which go with
individual homestead life in these remote regions.
"As for the second Five Year Plan,"
commented Mr. Ketchum, "it la the
promise of the fulfilment of its terms
which is now held forth by Soviet
leaders as hope for better times In
the vary near future."
"The plan provides first for a vast
increase in development of light industry, neglected under the first plan
in favor of heavy industry. It provides for an Increase on a large scale
in the production of commodities for
home consumption ln place of export, as heretofore, a rise in the
tempo and quality of production and,
last but not least, definite provision
for raising the standard of living of
workers and peasants alike."
"That this plan too will succeed in
a general way, as did the first, I personally have not the slightest doubt.
Whether, however, the Soviet wUl be
able to raise the standard of living to
its proper and desired level ln the
time hoped for, only the future can
"Just Where The Bus Stops"
Pt Grey 67, Nights Calls EU. 1065L
447S W. Tenth Ave.
Essays, Theses, Etc. French
Patronize the Advertisers
EMPRESS THEATRE—2 Performances Only \f arch
And His Company of 35, Presenting 3 Great Plays
Beautiful Settings by Claude Bragdon
Scat Sale NOW at J. W. Kelly Piano Co. Ltd., Sey. 7066
$2; $1.50; $1.00.   Gallery (Rush)) SOc.   Plus Tax
Secretarial Services Ltd.
Sey. 8556
Typing Essays and Thesis—Special Rates
University Book Store
All Your Book Supplies Sold
Here at Reduced Prices
«Na«_-Mi«M I Tuesday, March 13,1934
Page Three
Kant heifer getter? Nonsensical honor.
Litany Coroner
Spring   is a funny   thing.   Some
things I guess everybody thinks of
in spring, like wet hankies and peeling nose and new white shoes and
radishes and tomato sandwiches, but
I always either am in love or have a
broken heart.   Last year it was the
latter over that droop Jimmy Brown
with the wire hair and big feet which
ia all I remember now but then aU
I saw was hla brown eyea. Thia year
of course I'm in love with John but
if I ever change my mind I probably
will remember, among the tactless
things that he has told me, that he
haa   an   ingrowing   toenaU,   which
should help me to steel myself against
him should he ever meet somebody
else he likes better than me. It's a
funny thing how much smarter girls { f
are than boys in that way, for instance John wiU never know what a
time I have with dandruff and that
I used ta bite my nails.   He knows
my blue dress matches my eyes and
that my hair is golden and wavy—
which he doesn't know set me back
three fifty and if he could see me
when I get up ln the morning he
wouldn't look at me the way he does
the last thing at night . Music affects
me in the spring.   Last year it made
me think   of Jimmy's   faithlessness
and I used to just about wither, but
this year I think of all the nice things
John   says,   especiaUy   after   dinner,
and I feel like when you go over the
big bump on the Olant Dipper. John's
favorite   piece   is   very   unsuitably
Shine on Your Shoes or some hofcha
. thing that makes you think of broken |
dishes and on a keen night with a
moon and stars and everything he'U
suddenly come out with some crack
about hew much he likes fish and
chips,  especially with ketchup.
If only
A while
Would stutter
And stammer
Or cough
And hack
Or be
Of droning
And endlessly
Who? What? When? Where?
Why? and How?
Is this man that's all the rage?
He does not look like Doctor Sage.
He does not give my note a txoick:
It cannot be the Sedgewick chick.
Is this thing on all men's speech?
Since council get two tickets each—
Yes, two for each, not one for all—
It cannot be the Science Ball.
Is the time of this affair?
When bats are flitting through the air
And maidens sigh beneath the moon:
It cannot be the afternoon.
Is this place they all are going?
I stake my life and all I'm owing,
Social Notes
Mr. and Mrs. Brent and Uttle sin
Herbert have returned to the city
after visiting relatives in Vermont.
Mr. and Mrs. Ambrose Hennlng are
the proud parents of a baby bosy
born June 16th—Albany Enterprise.
"HeU,  Its  Location  and  Absolute
Certainty." Frank Oowdey, tenor so
loist will sing "TeU Mother I'll be
WANTED—Married man and wife or
single man and wife: man to be
farmer and good cook to be lady-
Montana Free Press.
Japanese woman wants washing or
otherwise, phone Bay 3361L.—Vancouver Dally Province.
e  •   •
You'll not need waders when you
It cannot be the Stadium.
Is it they all are coming?
Some are paying, some are bumming,
But not a man his purse has shed;
It cannot be the dance co-ed.
Do we know its worth our mon'?
Because it's full of mirth and fun
And free of things that disagree:
It cannot be the Caf. coffee.
That you want to know
Upon these questions I'll bestow.
It is the Players' famous play:
It cannot be you'll stay away?
Sneers and Jeers
By The Campus Crab
Patronize the Advertisers
Will all Fraternities and
Sororities contemplating
group photographs make
arrangements with us at an
early date so that all pictures can be delivered before the end of the term.
AU students desiring copies of
Athletic groups order through
the Students' Council office or
direct from us.
Yours For Service
833 Granville St.
Opp, Capitol Theatre
Phone Sey. 5737
HELP WANTED-Female girl to help
with housework 'or board and room
and some wages.—Boise Capital News.
FOR SALE—Combination stove and
baby buggy. Phone I833Y. Men's $1.00
neckties two for $1.00. Lightweight
ribbed, short sleeves, angle length.
Main floor.—New Britain Herald.
Don Ingham
Sleeps Out
How would you like to wake
up at 4 o'clock in the morning
and find that, instead of b«in_
safe at home In bed, you were
all alone on the ghostly stage
of the U.B.C. auditorium?
That was the experience of
Don Ingham on Saturday
night. About 1 a.m. he grew
just a little bored with the
dress rehearsal of "Caesar and
Cleopatra" and slipped off behind the cyclorameter for a
little nap.
He woke three hours later
ancl walked wearily home all
by his lonasome. The rest of
the cast and stage crew had
departed to a well-earned rest
at 2:30, stopping somewhere in
the middle of the city to im-
biba doughnuts and pies in the
lights of Miss Somerset's car.
Initiation may be abolished, but I
hope Arts '38 gets put over the Jumps
In style, Arts '37 take notice—People
who bury thdr heads In tho beach
arc likely to get sand In their hair.
No more Sneers and Jeers tiU next
year- The breeze you hear is the
unanimous sigh of some 300 Supreme
Potentates, reinforced by a large selection of guilty consciences at loose
on the campus. What a reUef it must
be for them.
As a final benediction, I think it
appropriate to drop a few gentle
hints that the various class executives
may profit by, especially that of our
present Freshman and soon to be
Sophomoric year, Arts '37.
Class executives are among the most
typical "stuffed shirt" organizations
we have. In a few short years they
have declined from a position of high
importance to being mere conveners
for an annual class party, and usually
very inefficient conveners at that.
A few years ago they were almost
the mainspring of university Ufe. No
important developments occurred on
the campus without the class organizations being behind lt, or concerned
in it in some manner. Now, two-thirds
of tho student body don't know what
year they are in tiU they see their
pictures in the Totem. What is more,
Dr. Coleman admits himself that
he either gives ten or nothing for
an essay. Nothing if you don't hand
it in. Here are some prize samples
which we hear netted ten.
(1) "The question of evolution has
been widely discussed in circles of
science medicine and philosophy. Cauliflower cauliflower rhubarb horseradish monkey cauliflower monkeys
cauliflower tails monkeys radishes-
monkeys evolution cauliflower this
great question of evolution."
(2) Evolution ia one of the moat
widely talked of scientific problems
of our time. Ha Ha doctor coleman
doesn't know I'm not writing an essay and would hi jump if he ever
looked it over. He probably thinks
it's quite good in fact he wiU in aU
probability give me ten—abed efgh
ij klm nop qrat uvw xyz and has never been explained to the satisfaction
of all great thinkers."
(p) Is Evolution? A momentous
question, yes yes lndeedy I should
aay so, by all means and absolutely
beyond a doubt it is a great question.
What I mean to aay is there can be
no possible conceivable doubt that
this is a great subject and worthy
of even by consideration. By the way
did you know there's another one
out about man west (censored) and
if, one two three there can be any
four five six if the quantity is sufficient to seven eight nine one would
naturaUy suppose that   ten   eleven
__*.*,_ *   _    twelve that is if fourteen fifteen. Of
protestanta do not make any extend- e  _,xtMn wventeen  mi ewn
ed use of their brains. They appear | eighteen but on the other hand one
hardly   expect
Villiam the Vizard
Sees AU, Knows AU
to beUeve that it does not matter
what is wrong with the U. B. C. as
long as we pat each other assiduously
on the back and congratulate each
other on our various fiascos in loud
and cheerful tones.
What better illustration can one imagine of the old fable of the ostrich?
It is not the Campus Crab that
makes the University ridiculous. It
has done that for itself already. If
pnly a few of the nit-wltted glad-
handers would reaUze this sad fact
and do something to help us out of
the hole they have got us into, instead of fatuously soft-soaping each
other, the place might amount to something once more.
Good-bye my Uttle dears. See you
in September!
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don't care—and as far
executives are concerned, It
as the
would hardly expect nineteen to
twenty or even twenty-one—However,
as lt will undoubtedly be raining tomorrow. And here I must cbse for
mortal man can probe no farther into
the secret of nature ln this great subject, evolution.
Wnt t bsktbl gme Frdy nd gt seat
behnd ldy wth fthr n ht. Lcky I hd
scssrs wth me. Ylld so hrd hv t wr
rd flnnl rnd nek. Gt so exctd slppw
old gntlmn on bck till hs flse tth fll
out nd bt rfree. Tk strt cr hm bt ws
too hrse t til endctr whr I gt off s
wnt t cr brns nd wlked hm.
Muck Soup
By the Four Muck Brothers
The worst part of it is that nothing
has grown up to take the very important place that this has left empty.
It is probable that the older years
are too far gone to come out of their
trance. This leaves it up to Arts '37
to come to the rescue. They will be
responsible for the introduction of Arts
'38 into collegiate life next faU. It is up
to them to carry out this duty in such
a manner that the future Freshies realize that they have left high-school
and have come to a place where they
have a little responsibility to both
themselves and the university.
After the depressing spectacle of
mental hibernation Arts '37 has been
treated to this year, it will be rather
surprising if they can muster up
enough energy and initiative to do
their duty properly, but If, by some
strange regeneration, they do, there
will be a large selection of seniors
and juniors who will feel pretty small
next year, if their atrophied sensibilities retain any vestige of a sense
of shame.
Do university students think? I don't
know. But if they do, it is remarkable the number that accuse me of
deliberately ruining the reputation of
Hi, gentlemen; We greet you with
the reminder that "We is all brothers
in that great lodge, the Mystic Sights
of the Knee."
Do you ever walk on railroad ties?
If you cover two ties at each step
the exertion required is bound to
warm the heart. Dr. SwllUt's Household Remedy will stop it completely in
a few days. If you step on every tie
you will fall on your nose and it will
bleed. You can remove all traces of
it with one application of Dr. SwiU-
its' Household Remedy. If you alternate long and short steps, corns will
soon render your feet useless. Dr.
Swillit's Household Remedy will reduce them to half thehj size in one
Dear WiUlam: What use Is a mortar-board to a college graduate?
Answer : There are many uses for
a mortar board after graduation. In
philanthropic work the wearing of
the mortar board on visits to the insane asylum furthers a congenial atmosphere. It may alao be used is a
non-spiUable porridge bowl on a
yacht or a bird bath in a formal garden. The tassel Is a charming and
novl addition to a Hue fly-swatter
with pink mesh The whole may be
shredded, boiled, dy*d dark green
and -er«d aa warmed-over spinach
with oyctpr crackers,
Dear WiUlam: How <ta you account
for the shape of Die wire chairs in
tho caf?
Answer: There hu been a good deal
of research carried out in this field
of late and I am satisfied that at lut
wo have tho complete atory. It seems
that whUe the Senate wu discussing
the pattern ef the chairs the wire to
be used was left ln the caf in tho
food store-room. A short-sighted
chef mistook it for spaghetti and by
the time the mistake wu discovered
the finished spaghetti wu sold out
and an undertaking parlour and false
tooth establishment had been set up
in the bus stand. Twenty strong men
worked day and night until aU the
tomato sauce wu removed from the
wire. The seats of the chairs were
then dipped in the man ef pUable
metal and the chairs emerged in their
present fantastic shapes.
Dear William: Why la algebra
taught at University?
Answer: Dear reader, tho answer to
this question is obvious and I can
only give you a rough idea of something which should be plain to any
(thinking person. What a groat com-
I fort it is In later Ufe, while vainly
striving to balance one's family budget, *o know that in the space of one
short hour one can compute by a
simple formula of X's, Y's and Oreek
letters, in how many different positions ten crows,can sit on a park
bench If one crow will have the goodness to forego the seat once in every
three sittings. It is also handy in
awkward situations at the dinner
table, such as spilling one's oyster
cocktail down one's hostesses gown
or putting sugar and cream in one's
consomme to know that R minus one
invariably equals the triangle ABC
over 3 minus A: and nothing Is so
great an asset to one's social standing
as to be able, after dinner, to oblige,
not with the commonplace piano solo
but with tangible and absolute proof
that R equals nothing more or less
than A over 2 in A. And how sweet
to murmur to one's beloved, "Listen
tangent who loves you. Circumference with me and we'll cosine a marriage certificate."
day and obliterate them in three. If
you walk in the gravel beside the
track you may sprain your ankle,
causing it to swell enormously. Dr.
Swillit's Household Remedy is the
quickest way  to reduce it to zero.
MORAL—Do not walk on the railway
track. There may be a train coming.
In the title role of "Richelieu," in
which play this scholarly artist will
appear for the first time in Vancouver,
Tuesday evening only, March 20th, at
the Empress Theatre. On Wednesday
afternoon, March 21, Mr, Hampden
will present "Macbeth", and on the
same evening, "The* Servant in the
House." Mr. Hampden, who is now on
a transcontinental tour, brings his own
company of thirty-five players, and
his productions are notable for the
artistic design of his beautiful settings
and colorful costuming. So greatly in
demand   is  the  distinguished  actor-
our fair institution by my remarks. < producer no other dates were available and Vancouver is fortunate in
It requires only a rudimentary reasoning  process  to  realize  that  the
securing him in three major productions offered on his present tour.
"Caesar and Cleopatra"
George Bernard Shaw
Presented By
The Players' Club
Student Night Thursday
Box Office Open Every Noon
Rush Seats 45c
<$>. v__»H I I I r UJ
Vol. XVI
No. 39
Province Take  Final Game and Title
Last  Night's   Victory Gives
'Newsies Mainland Title
Province Evened Series With Win Friday
Blue and Gold Lose 35-34 In
Refereetng Not So Good
A capacity crowd at the V.A.C.
gymn. on Friday night wltneaaed a
battle that UteraUy waa a battle when
Province pulled off a 39-34 win over
the students in overtime play.
The newsboys overcame a lead that
was run up by an inspired team. The
first half waa featured by the almost
perfect basketball of the atudenta.
They started out and made basket
after basket almost as though the
Province wasn't there. They worked
the ball around with unerring precision and scored almost every time they
Vanity Slips
The break came as the boys began
to tire and the coach broke up the
winning combination by substitutions.
With a score of 23-7 against them the
Province started in to work, and
managed to get 6 points before the
end of the half to leave the score at
Province Good
The .ccond half was almost the opposite from the scoring point of view.
The students only managed to get 7
points in the second period, though
they missed from all over the floor.
After pulling the score up to 28-28
the Province managed to get a two-
point lend on foul shots and a last
minute effort by Nicholson mad., it
a 30-30 tie when the whistle shrilled.
Kennington Stars
In the overtime period, the Vu.'".y
ieam must have been an awful crew
of foul sllngers according to the numerous though very unpopular decisions of Referee Porter. At first Long
John Purves failed miserably when
he missed 4 foul shots. Varsity proceeded with two foul scores and a
basket by Wright to take the lead.
Province followed this by a score and
after one point on a foul, with only
30 seconds to go Kennington made a
magnificent one-handed shot that
swished through the hoop for the
winning point.
In the overtime interval Wiiloughby and Armstrong decided to have a
little private fight, much to the excitement of a blood-thirsty crowd.
Rather Indignant officials banished
both of them from the floor. And
then in an unsportsmanlike manner
Harvey Mclntyre started a fight with
Osborne in the dressing room. In all
it was a nice exciung little riot. Incidentally Armstrong was suspended,
leaving Province short a guard.
Province—Purves 15, Kennington 4,
Mclntyre 4, Smith 4T Macdonnel 3,
Bumstead 5, Armstrong, Helem, Chater—35.
Varsity—Osborne 8, Pringle 2, Nicholson 8. Bardsley 9, Wiiloughby 5,
McKcc, McCrimmon, Wright 2, McDonald, Mansfield.—34.
Varsity Star
Physiological Engineer
Specialising in upbuilding the Human
Body through ScievUific Physiological
Exercise, Constructive Relaxation and
1409 Beach Avenue Sey. 8253
Union College
Dining Room
offers Full Course Meals
to   non-resident   students
at 25c
Mrs. Myers, Hostess
"Bugs" Bardsley, who has shone for
the students with his exceUent defensive and offensive work.
On Friday the Theological Colleges
held their annual track meet, which
was won by the Anglicans by 40 points
to 33.
The Union College secured an early
lead of 12 points, by, winning the
hundred yards and all three places
in tho discus, but Anglicans fought
gamely and gradually cut down the
lead. Union were two points ahead
when the last ev nt, a mile race, began.
In this, despite a fine effort by
Herbison, A.T.C. managed to secure
all three places, thanks to Loat, Addison and Humphrey. Some good
times were recorded, the best being
that of Golightly tUnion College) who
won the' 100 in 10 seconds, and that
of the A.T.C. relay team (Addison,
Harris, Walkem and Loat) who did
a mile in 4 minutes. A better crowd
turned out than for most Varsity
meets of late and more degenerate
Province Win When Varsity
Wilts In Second HaU
Refereetng Good
Ater leading 13-10 at the half way
mark the Blue and Oold basketbaU
squad wilted in the second half to
see the Newsies run up the biggest
lead in the series. The final score
was 28-23.
First Half Slow
Play opened slowly. The first score
coming after a penalty against Varsity. The shooting of both teams was
weak. Plenty of fouls were called on
both teams, Varsity if anything, getting the better end of the deal. Varsity had a sUght lead 13-10 when the
whistle blew.
Province Look Oood
In the second half Province had
the edge of the play, their shooting
being better. Long John Purves of the
Newsies was especiaUy good. Province caught up to Varsity early in
the half and towards the end drew
away to take the game 28-23.
Scores and Teams
Varsity—Wiiloughby 6, Bardsley 5,
Osborne 5, McCrimmon 1, Nicholson 4,
McDonald, Pringle 2, Mansfield,
Wright, McKee.
Province— Purves 9, Kennington 7,
Mclntyre 4, McDonnell 3, Smith 3,
Bumstead 2, Helem, Chater, Wills.
The Varsity Wrestling and
Boxing Club will hold a program of bouts on Friday noon,
March 16. Spectators are assured of a thrilling spectacle.
Arts 34 vs Sc. 34, Wed., Marchl4
Arts 35 vs Sc. 35, Fit, March 16
Arts 36 vs Sc 36, Mon.. March 10
Arts 37 vs Sc. 37 Thur., March 15
Agri. vs Educ, Tues., March 20
Place: Between gymn and tennis court.
Time: 12:20 sharp.  (Class will
lose by default If not on time.)
Referees: Dr. Shrum and Dr.
■   Davidson.
Best two out of three.
Points to count for the Governor's Cup.
Track Meet
On Wednesday, March 14th, the annual Interclass track meet will be held
on the stadium track. This wUl be the
last track meet of the year and aa
usual points gained will go towards
the Governor's cup. The results of
the meet are to determine the team
that wil (compete with the CoUege ot
Puget Sound on March 24th.
In preparation for this historic
event the various track stars entered
have been undergoing a long period
of training. In the 100 yard dash it
is expected that Heron, Stott, Pugh
and Wilson wiU divide first place
honors among them.
In the 229 it is expected that McTavish, Heron, Pugh and Stewart wUl
lead the field home. Pugh is the favorite as he won the handicap event
last Friday agaimt a good field of
runners. Stewart who specializes in
the quarter mile, is expected to take
the event.
I Herb Barclay is expected to win
the half mile while his chances in
the mile appear good. Alfie Allan
and Northcott are expected to give
him competition in the mile race.
McCammon is expected to sweep the
field events with Heron outjumping
the rest in the broad jump.
Officials and contestants are asked
to be on the field as soon as possible.
The jump, weight and running events
will be run simultaneously.
The events are as foUows: 120 yard
hurdles, 100 yards, 880 yards, shot
put, 220 yards hurdle, 220 yards, discus, mile, broad jump, pole vault, 440
yards, javelin, 3 miles, hammer throw,
880 relay, high jump.
Jack James, San Francisco Sport Columnist,
Sees First Game Of English Rugby
The following article, which was obtained from a Victoria paper, appeared ln the San Francisco Chronicle. The
head which appeared over the story
was "Thoughts of a Cash Customer
at his First Rugby Game."
So this is that rugby game I been
hearing so much about , . . What do
they call it—"rugger"? . . .Don't look
so rugged to me! . . . Ha! Ha! . . Pine
those short panties and bare knees,
will ya? . . . Boy, what a gang of
American football players would do
to these guys! . . . First degree murder, that's all! . . Maybe all right,
but it looks kinda pansy to me! . . •
I just can't get tho idea of them bare
knees . . . Look like chorus girls, 'r
| somep'n! . . .
I    Here's   the    kick-off ... Bet    they
I can't kick  it as far as our guys do
j . . . See, I told ya!   What's that? .    .
| They  intended  it  to be short? ....
| Well,  then,  why  don't  they recover
: it . .    What's   that   guy   doing?
Kicking it back?    . . What's the big
idea of that? . . . Not much of a kick
... Went outta bounds , . . Supposed
I to «o  out? ... I  don't get the id«a
I of this game at all, at all . . .
I *   *   *
I Now what they doing? . . . Line-
| out? . . . What's   that? ... Oh,   they
throw the ball back in when it goes
'out. huh? . . . Don't they call no sig-
i nals'.' . . . Well, how do they know
| what to do, then? ... Or do they got
(tipped of by the coach on the bench?
| . . . What's 'AT? . . . Coach supposed
| to be in the stands, unless he's play-
I ing? . . . Say.   what   kinda   game   IS
this,  anyway?    Coaches ain't  'sposed
to play!
Why don't that guy PASS?
They'd oughter be a set-up for a
good passing attack . . Backfield's all
spread out . . . You mean to tell me
you CAN'T throw a forward pass In
this game? . . . That's daffy football,
if you ask me! . . . But why don't
they try a end run, 'r somep'n? . . .
There they go—THERE THEY GO! . .
. . Block for him, youse guys out in
front there! . . . Block 'em out! . . . ,
What'.i 'AT? . . . What's wrong now?
. . . Why don't they take that referee's whistle away from him? . . .
That's just the trouble with these
English games . . .Soon's they get in-
teersting somebody's called fqr a
foul! . . . ROBBER! . . . BOO! . . .
They were off for a touchdown then!
Whit thoy doing now? . . . What's
that? ... A WHAT? . . .Scrum, huh?
. . Boy, if that ain't the funniest
looking layout I ever see in all my
born days! . . . Bend e'm over and
shove 'em around! . . . Boy, what a
lotta damage a guy c'd do with n
paddle out there . . . Ha! Ha! Ha!
. . . If that ain't a scream! ... So
that's the way Ih.y snap the ball,
huh? . . . Boy, what a coupla fast-
charging tackles c'd do with a layout
like that! . . .
Nov what? . . . Oh, I get thc idcar
. . . Shove the other guys away 'n'
get tho ball, huh? . . . Well, that's
one way o' starting something . . .
Ancl look at 'em BATTLE in there! . .
Say. this game gets kinda rough, nt
that , . . Those fellers look as if they
was playing fer keeps! . . . Push 'em
around, gang!   Let's GO! . . .
• •   •
There's the ball . . . Baby, there's
a REAL lateral pass! . . . Get it, guy!
. . . Boy, on the dead run, too! . . .
Pass it out! . . . Pass it, you chump
. . . Look at that baby STEP, will ya?
. . Come on! . . . COME ON! WOWIE!
. . . What a tackle THAT was!
Come on, pick it up again . . . That's
the system! . . . Now, let's go again!
. , . Attaboy! . . . Pick 'em up 'n' lay
'em down! ... Is he a snake-hips,
or is he a SNAKE-HIPS! . . And nobody running any interference for
him, neither! . . . Boy, this is quite a
ball   game,   if   anybody   should   ask
you! . • . Those fellers mean business!
• •   •
Com** ON, now! . . . Here's yer
chance! . . . We wanna touchdown!
. . . We wanna touchdown! . . . Come
ON! . . . HOLY jumped-up CATS! . .
Did you see what I saw? . . . What's
a matter with that guy, crazy ....
Looks like he had a swell chance t'
score a touchdown, and here he goes
and kick a field goal! . . . Ancl did
you see how he kicked it? . . . On
the dead run, without even stopping
to take aim! . . . Mister, that's KICKING, what I mean! . . . Oho! ....
Counts four points, you say, when a
touchdown only counts three? ....
That guy was plenty smart, at that!
. , . And did ho kick it? , . .
Say, stranger, this is more fun'n
I've had at a football game in a
coon's age . . . How long's this sortn
thing been going on? . . . And when
do they play again? ....
Varsity Downs Art
Monument 2-0
McDougall and Kozoolin Score For Varsity
When Kozoolin accepted a pass from Dave Todd to break
through for a fine goal eight minutes from time, he cinched the
verdict for Varsity in one of the best games played in the
V. and D. First Division this year. Art Monument, rated one of
the strongest elevens in Vancouver, played good football, but
the Collegians were in fine fettle, and deserved their 2-0 win.
By Arnold C. White
Coveted Trophy
Above is depicted the latest and
most authentic picture of the historic
old inter-class soccer cup. Education
ad Science '35 will continue their long
drawn out battle for this mug on Friday.
Varsity   Rowers
Lose Regatta
Beat Science In
Faculty Race
Played at Cambie Street grounds the
contest brought rounds of applause
from the crowd of 6,000, for both
squads dished up a clean, fast, and
methodical brand of soccer.
The Blue and Gold controlled the
play during a great portion of the
first half, but fine work by the Monument backs kept their forwards at
bay for the first half hour. With fif-
teen minutes to go, Archie MacDoug-
aU cUmaxed a nice passing movement
by beating two defenders and depositing the sphere into the left corner of
the net, thereby giving Varsity a 1-0
advantage at half-time.
After the interval, the Stonemasons
brought on two fresh players, and
tried desperately for the equalizer,
but Jock Waugh and Millar McGiU
were brilUant on the defence. Continual pressure finaUy resulted in a wild
scramble In the Varsity goalmouth;
with Greenwood drawn out of position, McGill blocked a point-black
drive on the goal-line, cleared and sent
his mates on the offensive once more.
The remainder of the match wfls
featured by smooth passing attacks
by both sides, with Kozoolin's goal
putting the result beyond doubt.
Shortly from full-time the Monument broke away for what appeared
a certain score. Greenwood, however,
rose to the occassion, making a brilliant one-handed save.
Waugh and McGiU stood out for
the Students in a team which performed finely as a whole. Greenwood's
work in goal was steady, while Thurber, Wolfe, and Costain formed an effective half-line. The forward Une
with Stewart and MacDougall In the
inside births, was a constant threat to
the Monument men.
The best-balanced eight that Vancouver Rowing Club has produced |
for several years defeated a weakened i
Varsity crew by six lengths in an
easy victory at their annual intev-
club regatta last Saturday at Coal
Harbor. The distance was one mile,
550 yards, Canadian Henley.
In the four-oared event, another
smooth team belonging to the Clubbers triumphed by three lengths over
the Blue and Gold oarsmen. In the
other events, Arts beat Science by
one and a half lengths, managing to
catch fewer crabs over the one-mile
Crews and times were as follows:
U.B.C: Stroke, Lane; 7, Pratt; 6,
Callan; 5, Locke; 4, West; 3, Brynel-
son; 2, Stevens; bow, Mather; cox,
V.R.C.: Stroke, Larsen; 7, McKenzie;
6, McDonald; 5, Morrow; 4, Hoffmeis-
ter; 3, Masse; 2, Read; bow, Jaggard;
cox, Oppenheimer. Time: 7 min., 17
U.B.C: Stroke, Hewitson; 3, Mc-
Leish; 2, Coverton; bow, Robinson;
cox, Woodridge.
V.R.C: Stroke, Butler; 3, Grubbe;
2, Snead; bow, Dickinson; cox, Wilson,   Time: 6 min., 25 sec.
There will be a meeting of the
Soccer Club in Arts 102 at„12:10 p.m.
today which all members are urged
to attend.
Jj^/t tetutW
ALL a public utility company asks la a fair return
on the money Invested. Other
Industries may make unlimited profits, but public utilities
are limited by regulation and
public opinion to returns only
•lightly above bond Interest
After the Party Meet Me at the
The Most Up-to-Date Cafe in Vancouver
No Cover Charge
Banquet Rooms and Free Meeting Rooms
160 Hastings Street W. Next Door to Prov. Building


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