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The Ubyssey Jan 22, 1926

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/g-suect rwice Wee/V/y 6^ Me Students' Publications Board of The University of British Columbia.
1st'
Volume VIII.
VANCOUVER, B. C., JANUARY 22nd, 1926
No. ai.
KS!;
LA CAUSERIE
HOLDS TRIAL
On Wednesday evening tha members or La Causerie assembled at the
home of Miss Bernle Barton, which,
daring part of the evening, was converted Into a divorce court, tho oo-
eaalon was of grave Importance to
lidtne. Mildrlde Marguerite Marie
Qabrlelle Jeanne Jacqueline de la
Jones, who petitioned for a divorce.
After tne entrance of the Judge, Lawyer dough opened proceedings by
stating tne case. In an eloquent
speech he showed how the charming
Mdme. Jones was justified In her ap-
teal. He defied anyone to look upon
her fair young face and not realise
the Suffering and cruelty which she
had to etidure at the hands of her
- tyrannical husband.
The Plaintiff (Mildred Campbell)
pleaded her cause In a heart broken
little speech! Her mother (Clara
Brldgeman) and her daughter (Mary
Reid), two witnesses, were called.
Mdlle. Jones (aged 10) suited that
"Daddy broke her darling dolly, gave
her yellow-backed story books to read
and at night stole the centimes from
her money bag. With many clever
arguments the next witness, an outraged maid (Gertrude Langrldge)
stated that she had seen Monsieur
kissing the washer woman (a former
Chorus girl) and a few minutes later
he transferred his affections to herself.
Another *f§wyer (Evelyn Price),
who supported the defendant, Mr.
Charles Augttste Henri Adolpho Jean
Jacques de la Jones, called upon wit-
ne^ewfdj! the defendant, His mother,
•^-J^II*Wrhei.^.*'/«!e1lel son before
*1« marrtage and how could anyone
doubt that a son who always washed
the dishes for his mother would make
a poor husband.
A visitor, Mdme. Bas Blae (Owen
^ Qadd, a neighbour, Mdlle de la
V Bouche (Katie Usher), a washer
■ woman (Lorna Barton) and a newsboy (Archie McKle) all presented favourable arguments for the defendant,
whose case looked very hopeful. In-
v tense excitement prevailed when
Judge Black announced that owing
to the nature of tho evidence the
Plaintiff and the Defendant were both
sentenced to ten years In Oakalla.
The unanimous opinion after the
trial was that Mr. dough ohould Immediately commence to study for the
Bar. He is undoubtedly a born lawyer when he citn make a witness state
that a noise was heard on the "trente-
quatre Janvier."
Delightful refreshments were served
ond the meeting broke up at a late
hour.
U.B.C. Song Contest
Commences To-day
Responding to demand for a stand
ard varsity song, the Students Council have offered a prize of ten dollars
-to any member of the University submitting word* and music of a University song which will meet with tho
approval of a committee appointed by
Council for that purpose.
The contest will close on Monday,
February 22nd, a month from date.
The music need not be original, but
may be an arrangement of some suitable, standard composition. Many
colleges sing their alma mater song
to hymn tunes. The committee suggests that contestants limit their
t/erse to two four-line stanzas, or to
eight or ten lines in all.
It Is felt that the somewhat unique
history of V. n, c„ together with the
very rosy future so generally predict
ed for It, should Inspire potential
song-writers lo submit really original
suggestions for a university song.
Words antl music submitted should
be accompanied by all necessary explanations and fti'e to be sent tn the
secretary, Mr, Karle Birney.
LOST—On Wednesday Noon, a
Waterman Fountain Pen, mottUd
brown and black, finder please return
to Bill Brown, Arts '28 or Students'
•Council Office,
DR. AKAGI IS HEARD IN
FINE ADDRESS, TUESDAY
Urge Gathering Hears Brilliant Speech on "The New Youth
la Now Japan"
The Student Body of the University of B. C. enjoyed on Tuesday last,
one of the most Interesting and enlightening discussions on the attitude of
"The New Youth In Japan in Relation to Pacific Problems." Dr. Roy H.
Akagi presented a forceful argument on the subject In a very comprehensive way. He sees the dawn of the Pacific Bra which Roosevelt predicted,
and pleads for co-operation between Pacific races. Japanese youth, he said,
are discussing these problems and fostering relations between races as tar
as they are able. Two fundamental problems are at the basis ot tho whole,
he explained .namely, Economic and Race Relationship. Other minor difficulties, such as religion and civilisation, make these more complicated.
Dealing with the Economic Problem,
he said that ignorance of tact Is the
cause of the main misunderstanding—very few people being acquainted with the problems, and therefore,
being unable to arrive at a solution.
For this reason also, he declared,
fears exist between the white and
yellow peoples, eaoh one, through ignorance, fearing destruction at the
hand of the other, Under friendly
relations, such fears would be nonexistent On the other hand, there
is the Superiority Complex, each
race considering Itself superior to the
other,   This leads to segregation.
The 'New Youth' ot Japan, he
stated, have various attitudes towards this problem. In the first
place, they are extremely realistic,
very spiritual, trying to give a religious interpretation to these problems, In passing, he remarked that
religious Ideas are very popular in
Japan. "Luther and Wesley are
idols there," he said. In the second
place, Socialism and Democracy also
are rapidly gaining hold in that
Oriental island, exerting a good influence. Japanese youths today are
becoming international in their out
look, thinking and writing about
world problems. They are essentially a peace-loving youth. The Race
Problem, Dr. Akagi things, is the
most difficult, and not until "we recognize the good in each one of us"
can a solution be gained.
Finally, Dr. Akagi concluded bis
lecture with a very touching appeal.
"We are all studying in God'B
school," he said, "let us learn what
he gives us and answor hla questions
in a right way, saying, 'I know all
these things because Thou knowent'."
Co-ed Oratorical
Contest Announced
Tryouts for the Women's Oratorical Contest will be held on Room
A-100, on Wednesday, January 27. All
those who wish to take part will
plftaae sign the paper put up on the
women's notice board for that purpose. A twelve-dollar boolc prize Is
offered for first place, and an eight-
dollar book prize for second place,
Outdoors Club
Climbsjjollyburn
At the early and dismal hour of
eight thirty on Suuday morning, fourteen ambitious souls gathered at the
ferry wharf and after putting out
thirty cents, set out through the
narrows via the West Vancouver
ferry in the general direction of
Hollyburn ridge.
The climb was without incident
except that after the steep Grouse
trail the one up Hollyburn seemed
almost downhill. Snow was encountered at the so-called Ski Camp and
from there to the old Varsity cabin
the going was mushy.
The cabin was found to be greatly changed, In as much as sundry
visitors had, when cold, removed and
hurned the bunks and a fair part of
the roof. In fact when the gang
arrived they found one Industrious lad
prying the shakes off with vigour
worthy of a better purpose.
Lunch was eaten at the cabin and
while two members Went on to the
Peak the rest went to the end of the
ridge to have a gawp at the scenery
from an unfamiliar angle. The snow
was three feet deep and the crust,
was the worst possible, being strong
enough to Impede progress, but not
strong enough to hold one up.
On the return trip some of Ihe
party were lured aside by the warmth
at the Ski camp so the trip down was
somewhat straggly. All met at. the
six o'clock ferry to find about a
hundred people trying to get on a
boat that held fifty. Three males
were unsuccessful and wore last seen
standing forlornly on the dock.
This was the first trip up Holly-
burn this year.
PRESENTATION
Miss Ruth Hornsby of Arts '28 has
received a Life Saving Certificate
from the Royal Canadian Humane
Society for saving a person from
drowning last summer. She was presented with the certificate In President Kllnk's office on Monday, January 11th.
Don't Forget—February 20th
Names Committee
For Discussion
On Football
The question of the Introduction of
American football came officially before Council this week for the first
time. The matter is so vital that
Council felt any decisive action on its
part at present would be premature.
Accordingly, a committee will be appointed to go into all phases of the
question thoroughly. Later In the
term a meeting of the Men's Athletic
Association will be called, at whlob
the committee will present both sldoa
of the question, after which the students will be given a chance to vote on
It The committee will comprise 2
members of the Faculty Association,
an unofficial body, 2 members of the
Council, 9 Alumni, and 2 representatives nominated on behalf of the
newly formed American Football
Club. Representatives of the Council will be Tommy Wilkinson (convenor) and Fred Guernsey.
Publicity For Council Court
In future all regulations governing
the conduct ot students on the campus will be properly codified and posted on tha notice boards, and full publicity In the Ubyssey will be given to
the proceedings of the Council Court
sittings, with special emphasis on the
names and misdeeds of "prisoners."
In this decision Council acted on a
suggestion received from a member
of the student body.
Should Editors Be On Oouneil?
Due to the recent editors It
was questioned by Mr. Oliver whether
the Editor-in-Chief was really Justified
in holding a seat on the Council. Mr.
Birney, though agreeing with this,
pointed out that arrangements might
have to be made to continue Ubyssey
representation   on   some   executive.
Trouble is also brewing In connection with the status of international
Greek letter fraternities, at the University, but this point will probably
not come to a head for at least a week
or two,
Permission was granted the Basketball Club to hold a danci after the
game with the College of Puget Sound,
for the entertainmnt of their team
and supporters, on Saturday, January
23rd, In the Normal Gym.
Military Training
Severely Attacked
Military training in high schools
and Its compulsory feature In colleges
and universities are condemned in a
statement issued recently by a representative group of statesmen, educators, churchmen, editors, social workers and prominent men and women.
The attack is contained In the foreword to a pamphlet, on "Military
Training in Schools and Colleges of
the United States," by Winthrop D.
Lane, of New York City. The group
calls for the removal of military training from high schools and of Its compulsory features from colleges "as a
minimum programme for dealing with
the Reserve Officers' Training Corps."
"The atmosphere of military training," says tho foreword, "Is not the
atmosphere for the finest, the most
thoughtful work along any lino requiring Independent thinking. Higher
education ought to exist for the encouragement of Independent thinking.
"Colleges and universities, therefore, are peculiarly Inappropriate
fields for military training and for the
Intrusive presence of a military bureaucracy, We Americans would
have suld thin of any country In the
world. There Is no virtue of our own
which makes us Immune to a mllltar.
Ism which has played so fatal a role
In Kuropo."
Ubyssey Offers Services
Executives arranging for the printing or handbills or programme* for
Varsity functions are reminded that
the Ubyssoy Is prepared to assist In
securing advertising for such sheets
and that the Council hat) signified
their approval of such a plan as helping to cu,t down expenditure for printing,
ELIMINATIONS
FOR ORATORS
"Friends, Romans, Countrymen, Fe>
low-Students AND Gentlemen", Is
only a mild sample of what Will
emerge rrom room AlOt at S-fS to-daty
The primal cause of these loquaokrii
effusions Is the tact that the elUnitv
atlng try-out for the Men's OraterieW
Contest will take place en that ee>
caslon.
All men undergraduates are Invited
to make a five-minute speech on s*f
subject under the sun. Heretics, BoV
shevists, antl-cassatlonlsts, anti-vhnV
sectionlsts, vegetarians, pro- and antl*
everything else can mount the plat*
form and engage In oratorical panegyrics to their hearts' content.
Students who are not elocutionists
need not assume a stage voice qr
wildly engage in dramatic gestures, but
can give dlreot, convincing talks.
Anyone who does not think that he
can win laurels in the contest should
still avail himself of the splendid
practice and experience that such g>
try out affords.
Four or live of the best orators Will'
be selected to take part In the Oratorical Contest proper that will lie
held on February 10th, In conjunction
with the Womens' Oratorical Contest.
As woll as the honor and glory, a gold
and a silver medal will be presented
to the winner and the runner-up re*
spectlvely.
Although every major student activity is heralded as the "Biggest
Event of the Year", there can be no
doubt of the standing ot the Men's
Oratorical Contest. Further announce*
raents will be made shortly.
All prospective candidates should alt
once get In touch with members Of
the M. L. S. executive. All candidates for Arts '27 debate team must
enter the contest, and will be Judged
on their showing in this tryout,
Contract Awarded
For "Annual" Work
The awarding of the printing contract of the Annual was delegated to
the Publications Board, with a recommendation in favor of Clarke &
Stuart, whose tender was about $200
less than their nearest competitor,
the Sun Publishing Co. The printing
and binding of the Annual will this
year cost approximately $2,100.00.
The covers will be of particularly
handsome imitation embossed leather,
especially executed by Los Angeles
experts, known contlnent-wldo. Advertising will be Inserted in the back
of the volume ,and it Is probable that
lower year students will also m charged a dollar fqr their copies, as otherwise the Improved edition cannot be
financed.
r:<
YELL CCiMPETITION
The U. B. C. yell competition, officially opened Wednesday noon, la
now In full swing. Several have already sent in contributions In hope
of winning the $5 00 prise.
The yells must be short and snappy—there Is no need to tell a story.
It Is advisable to bring In "U. B. C."
!n some form or other. The five best
yells submitted will be sent to the
students Council for approval. The
contest closes at noon Saturday, January ill) ho get busy and prepare your
contribution.
THREE BEIT FELLOWSHIPS
ANNOUNCED
Three fellowships are Issued annually ny the Imperial College of
Science and Technology lo promote
the advancement of Science by means
of research, Tho election this year
takes place on t hi, 15th of July, Application forms may be obtained by
welling to the Rector, Imperial College, South Kensington, London, 8.W.
Applications must be In by April 10,
1926. Anyone Interested may obtain
further Information by applying to
the Registrar. aWv
w
rat.
'/i?;,--f .■'■ii"P''",V//sy!''' *-   '
*'*
THE   UBYSSEY
January 22nd, 1926
g|Bgaffe>f»"«-i —«»'■
®he Ihuasnj
(Member of Pacific Inter-Collegiate Press Association),
Issued every Tuesday and Friday by the Student Publications Board ot the
University of British Columbia, West Point Orey.
Phono; Vsrslty 1434
Mall Subscriptions rate: 13. per year.   Advertising rates on application.
Editorial Staff
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF—A. Barle Birney.
Senior Editors—Miss Sadie Boyles and W. Murphy.
Assoolate Editors—David Warden, Miss Marlon Smith, Don Calvert and
Miss Kathleen Baird.
Feature Editors—Brio Dunn, B. Morrison
Assistant Editors—Miss Florence Cassidy, Miss Alice Weaver.
Business Staff
Business Manager—Harold 0. MoWIUtams.
Advertising Manager—J. Stanley Allen.
Circulation Manager—Dlgby Leigh
Business Assistants—Lyle Streight and T. Barnett.
Idltors-for-tho-lssuoi
Senior, W. Murphy; Associate, Kay Baird; Assistant, Florence Cassidy;
Proofs, Dorothy Arkwrlght.
Correspondence    j
A PLEA FOR COURTESY
Last Tuesday, a prominent Japanese Educationalist delivered
an address to the Student Body. It was a great favor on his part,
ga he was only in town one day and was extremely busy during his
short stay. His subject was ono that should havo interested
any college student on the Pacific coast, for he dealt with
problems that day by day are becoming more acute, and must very
shortly be faced and solved. President Klinck was so good us to
order all lectures cancelled at 11.30, to give everyone an opportunity
to hear Dr. Akagi. At nearly all of tho lectures the subject to be
dealt with was read out, and every student entering the Auditorium
must, have realized the type of address ho was going to hoar.
3utithii happened all through the lecture! From time to time
students rose in ones and twos, and with much scuffling left the
hall—looks of boredom on their faces. Where those people got
their manners it ia hard to discover. They knew what type of lecture they were to hear-—but instead of staying away altogether,
they allowed their boorish curiosity to get the better of them—and
not earing in the slightest for the topic, went just to here a foreigner
talk in English because it was an unusual sight. Freshmen and
freshettes were not the only offenders. This must cease. Such
occurrences are a direct insult to the speakers that are requested to
address us—and the self-complacent, nervy students who poke their
faces into meetings for ten or fifteen minutes and then trail out,
must realise that they are only showing the rusticity of their upbringing' ^ ,
Another things Arrive on time. Students were given plenty
of time to reach the Auditorium and sit down, Tuesday. But for
fifteen minutes after the lecture started the young ladies and gentlemen who would rather eat their fill than observe good manners
eouW be observed thumping down the aisles. Let us have somo of
the rudiments of good taste in thia University.
Excellent Bill
Nowjit Capitol
This week; the Capitol Theatre presents "The Wanderer," which comes
Of the Prodigal Son, the lad of long
ago, who left home for the wine,
' woman, and song ot a wicked City.
The Part ot the First Black Sheep,
Hero of "The Wanderer" Is taken by
Wui. Collier, Jr., who portrays the
"Role" to perfection.
We seo him as he tends his father's
flocks, we see hlui lured to the great,
winked city by a temptress with
painted lips', we see him cast off and
spurned when his money Is gone and
at iiist, Bi»-i|i[>.'<! of his ideals, :;t "■>•:■
gllng   home   for   forgiveness.
The biggest scene ever filmed Is
contained In this picture, namely Ihe
glided Mosque and towers, heralded
as the biggest and most marvellously beautiful picture yet made.
The picture has a mighty theme, that
destruction ot an Oriental City with
the life, ot Ancient Babylon. The
Walls are felled with bolts of lightning from Heaven, coals ot fire fall
from above. This scene alone Is considered the best piece of destruction
ever filmed. The finest actors and
actresses on the screen to-day have
roles in this picture as the following
names will show: Ernest Torrance,
'(W*.a Llssen. Wallace Be«-"\\\ Tym •
Power and Kathlyn Williams. This
picture has been shown to the Clergy
of Vancouver and has received their
unanimous endorsement. An added
attraction during the engagement of
the "Wanderer" will be the 40 Piece
Orchestra which will play as a Prelude "Tannbauser." The usual Symphony Concert of Special Music will
be given Thursday night.
Remember the picture le for one
week only at regular prices.
Dad:     Well,  my  boy,   any  college
debts?
College   Stude:    Nothing,   sir,   but
what  with  diligence,  economy,   and
self-denial you will be able to pay,
—Oreen Onion.
"Excuse  me,  but  can   I   speak   to
your stenographer a minute?"
"Not Just now, she's engaged."
"That's   all   right,   I'm   the   fellow
she's engaged to."
Seven:    Have a cigar?
Eleven:   ,No,   thanks,   I'm   getting
rid of my Christmas cigars, too.
—Exchange.
Important Game
Saturday Night
Saturday night the Varsity Senior
"A" quintette are going to try and
avenge the defeat this university suffered at the bands of College of Puget
Sound in American Football last fall.
This will be the first inter-collegiate
basketball game on the local floor
this season. The College of Puget
Sound five have an enviable record and can be counted on to
give tho Varsity boys a real fight
Saturday night. Varsity are back In
their old form as shown hy their victory over Westminster "Y" last wei-k.
The fast stepping Senior "B" squad
will play a preliminary Kiime ai'nin.-ti
the local '">'" at 7.1(1. Following the
Kiinies tlift-e will be a dance In honor
of the visiting team, A slight charge
will be made at the door to cover expenses. EVERYBODY WELCOME.
--»-«►-•—
Announcement Made
by Players Club
The result of the last tryouts for
the Spring play are ae follows: Liza,
Isobel Barton; Mrs. Pearce, Honor
Kldd; Hlgglns; Peter Price; Col.
Pickering, Harry Warren: Mr, Doo-
little, Darcy Marsh. The remaining parts are as yet undecided, and
will be competed for by Avis Pumphrey, Joan Meredith, May Chrlslson,
DorlB Crompton, Owen. Musgrave,
Grace Hope, Leslie Howlett, Willough-
by Matthews, and Jack Nash. The
parts competed for are those of Mrs.
Hlgglns, Clara, Mrs. Hill, Freddie, and
The Bystander, The final tryouts will
be held In a few weeks. Rehearsals
will take place In the Interval.
Oarsmen Thieves
It appears that some of the huskies
of the Vsrslty Rowing Club recently
aroused the ire of HU Majesty's Cot-
lector of Customs by Informally removing their new eight oar shot I from
his custody early one morning before
he had risen from his downy nest.
Council granted $32.20 for payment of
customs duty. It was also moved that
a letter of I hanks be sent to the
University of Washington In appreciation of this gift of a new shell.
- —••<*•■ —
LOST
A Theta Epsilon Sorority pin,
Please return to Council or telephone
Miss Freda Edgett, Bay, 455 R.
COUNCIL MINUTES
To the Editor of the Ubyssey.
Dear Sir:
It has been suggested by a member of Faculty, who has always
shown a keen interest in student
affairs, that greater co-operation between students and Council would be
achieved, If more students would
show an Interest in the minutes of
Council meetings which are posted
every Tuesday on the notice boards.
Those minutes are our only means
of kooplug in touch with what the
Council Is doing to meet the problems which arlBo in student government. By following them closely
wo can discuss with members of
Council any small points of difference as they arise, instead of allowing them to accumulate and create
un uproar of protest such as has recently occurred In connection with
the vigilance committee.
The minutes of the meetings have
recently been singularly Inexplicit
and Illegible, but the clarity ot the
report this week shows how willing
the Council Is to respond to suggestions made by any member of the
Student Body.
Yours very truly,
BEATRIX CLEOG.
LOST ARTICLES
Dear Sir;
1 have recently had some experience in trying to recover a "lost
article." More by good luck than
good management, I managed to get
my missing article back, but only
after almost two weeks ot waiting
and searching. However, I happened
to be fortunate. Most of the students, on losing anything of ordinary
value, give up hope of ever recovering it. They may Inquire half-heartedly at the Council Room or the Book
Store; but the cases are rare where
they recover their lost belongings
through these channels. There are
certain characters among the students who keep everything they find,
contenting themselves with the
thought: "Finders keepers, losers
weepers." But, happily, the great
majority of us are either too lasy
and indifferent or too careless to
turn in anything we pick up.
And also, there seems to be a general ignorance as to the official University "Lost and Found Bureau."
I thought it was the Council room,
but It appears that the Book Store
and the Administration building are
equally "patronised," while some
"finders" Just pin a notice up on the
board, or even the lost article Itself.
I may be exaggerating this matter, but It seems to me that when
the students cannot depend upon recovering lost articles, they certainly
maintain that the Honour System
would prove effective.
Yours truly,
R.  TOLMIE.
TO   A   COLLEGE.   TEXTBOOK
(Poems of Today)
The sunlight of forgotten afternoons;
Far,    glimmering    sturs    above    the
apple trees,
And    dawn    enchantment    born    of
lovers' moons—
All  theso  are  here.   In  varied  melodies
The poets weave their ancient mysteries,
And read for us, again, eternal runes
Where green boughs toss against an
April breoze.
A line breaks suddenly where sharp
thoughts throng,
Stumbling  as  heart  beats   stumble;
such a low
And wavering strain is here remembered long,
Such ache of loss here falters Into
song.
These lines havo dates for titles, and
wo know
Why  sonic   men   wrote   one   poem—
ten years ago.
—8.M.
Club to Travel ?
As wns umiouiirwl In the city papers, tin* Men's Swimming Club have
rncelvHd an Invitation to attend tho
awlmmliis aula of the Ilanff winter
sports. At Itanff, Varalty would meet
the I'nlversliy of Album, and there
would he ev»ry possibility of «*•
labllshlna Inter-colleglate water meets
every wlii»*»r between it, n, c,
and Alberta, However arrangements aro not tiulte seilled yet,
and the matter of a guarantee has
not been decided upon. If the Club
does send a team to Ilanff, though,
Varsity may rest assured that they
will "clean up everything" at the
hot  springs.
Aggie Dance Is
Great Success
Last Tuesday the Agglos left their
spades and shovels, and entertained
society. Lester Court was tho scene
of a mad throng which expertly
Charlestoned to the ever-popular
music of Lee's Orchestra. The Aggie Dance was said to rival the
Frosh Reception for its pep, and the
Art's Dance (or its distinction,
The now traditional chicken sandwiches, with other Inspiring refreshments, were served during the course
of the evening. Even the Arts men
acknowledged that none can rival
the Aggies in their choice of refreshments. As for the favours which
wore libera liy dlstrlbutsd, words are
Inadequate for description.
As patronesses of this unexcelled
event, Mrs, Kllnck, Mrs. Coleman,
und Deun Hollert were udmlrable.
SENIORS DRAW
On Tuesday, January 28th, the
Senior Classes of Agriculture, Arts,
and Science will meet In Science 200,
for the purpose of holding a Class
Draw. The Senior Ball will take plaoo
on February 22nd, at the Ambassador,
and will be remarkable Inasmuch as
it will be the first time in the history
of the University, that the Senior
classes have united In their activities.
BIOLOGICAL DISCUSSION CLUB
A most interesting meeting was
held at the home of Mildred Campbell on January 18. Papers were read
by Jack Bridge and Barbara Stirling
ou Pre-Darwinlsm, followed by a general discussion.
ARTS '27 TO MtlT
All women ot Arts '27 must meet
In Room A101 on Tuesday noon.
The Arts '27 men will meet at the
same time in Room 101 Applied
Science, where every class member
must attend.
INTBR-CLAS8 QgBATI TRY-OUTS
Try-outs for Men's Inter-Class Debates will be held this afternoon at
3 p.m. In Room A100 concurrently
with try-outs tov the Men's Oratorical Contest, Speakers will be limited to five minutes on a Bubjeot of
their own choice.
Festivities Soon
Students ot Victoria College will
probably be entertained this year at
the Science dance, as well as at a
basketball dance, which will be held
especially for their benefit. The College will make its annual counter-
Invasion sometime In February, although the exact date has not. yet
been finally set.
Intercollegiate
Basketball
Saturday, Jan. 23rd.
VARSITY
vs.
COLLEGE OF
PUGET SOUND
Everybody Out!
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January 22nd, 1926
TXTip       TTTltrctOITTl-rr
ANOTHER
STUDENT LEADERS COMMEND FIRST
ALL-PUN NUMBER
Prominent People Publish Puplicly Personal Pun Preferences
The various Important people around thlB University, hearing of this,
the first all-pun page of the Ubyssey, have felt the urge to contribute to our
Sper.   Peeling that the student body should have the right to listen to nil
ise opinions we are publishing them below.
The Editor-in-Chief (Himself).
The feature editor has had the face to ask mo to write something hot
lor his pun number. Rather than bo left In the cold, I countenance his
request. Now in tha first place, the last thing I intend to do is to commit
those old puns that were tried and sentenced long ago. Those punk puns
with which puny pundits of past days punctuated their conversation and
Sunlshed their servile punkuh-wielders had as little punch as the Empress
ance was lamentably lacking In pungency, and at no time were keen
enough to puncture an Arts Ball balloon.
N6w, in regard to puna In general, the major argument chiefly used
against them, Is that they are the lowest form ot humour. Now this is
Obviously impossible, for there must be something lower for the puns to
Sua upun. A second objection, that a pun cannot be turned into French,
is ot minor Importance, despite the fact that It was raised moie than twenty-
one years ago, and attar all, Is quite foreign to the question, Thus I have
squashed all opposition to puns and, to be true to form, I must have filled
the pun-kin slaughters with melanoholy. Furthermore, as on this subject,
we have not yet done. I object—
(Ha. Note:—This is all we can stand).
Mr, Tommy Wilkinson
"Personally, I can unequivocally state that I resent any insinuation that
I enjoy playing on words.   The only things I play on are soccer fields and
-Jews" harps.   Any further remarks I will treat as a direct vote of confidence
In the vigilance committee."
Miss Jane Austen
It Is with pleasure that we announce that through the medium of one of
our professors, whose name we wood publish, if we dared, the shade ot the
distinguished authoress of Old Mortality has enlightened us with the following:
PUTRID PUN
Containing the Word, "Blooey1*
"Slowly Stanley Allen walked over to Mamie Malouey, and pulling out
his liandkerchlaf, he blooey's nose."
"You never can tell," said the frosh
as he shot the vigilante.
Beet Productions direct from
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Phone tor Sample
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Mm? UnW«r»Hy studm!* here faun-J,
emi ere mem ffaaJtas, tk«t a (raisins hi
•a* et the tmemr •emetee la Ilia
PROTT
HAW
CHOOLS
-or —
OOMMIMI ens) TilllRAPNV
IS SSAUV WOftTN WHUt
Ws stand ready if assist all who sstd
assistance.
Oar Ssorstarlsl Ceerss Is one whloh
astasia te Uetvarstty students.
If latertstsd, ajv* us a eall at any sf
tar THREE BRANCHES;
SM HASTINGS ST.. W. - j g* r. mX
TOWER BUILDING . . . Say. 74SI
MAIN aaa* TENTH -  -  .  -  Pair. 41
Vigilant—Smoking In the halls is
contrary to the regulations of the
University.
Buchanan—That's all right, I'm not
really Inhaling.
(Adapted)
Soph:—"1 hear that the profs, had
a banquet last night and that they
voted on which had the softest Job
and which was the smartest."
Frosh:—"How did It turn out?"
Soph:—"They found out who had
the softest Job, but they wouldn't decide who was the smartest."
Frosh.—"Why?"
Soph:—"Each voted for himself."
Observer (to trombone player, blowing furiously): "Look here, brother,
If you want to pull that thing apart,
get around   In  front."—Pup.
Great, big, strong man: The reason I'm so big is, that, when the Lord
made tne, He worked all day and
didn't stop for supper,
Frosh: That's easy, He'd lust hlb
appetite.
—-Huckiiell Hellt Shop.
EVEN   AS   YOU   AND   I
We  have  seen   laxicabs  thut   weren't
yellow.
We  have  heard  of college  men  who
admit that they study.
We knew a  fellow  once  who passed
Chem Two the first time he took
It.
BUT—
We have never heard of a graduating
class  which didu't admit  It was
"the best ever."
Litany Coroner
>o»e»g«-'0>rO'i»aw
SALT
The student salesman sat
In u cheap down town cafe.
Another student camo In for
lie also went thnt way,
"Oh what," said student ono,
Aro the lovely goods you soil?
"Why, salt," suld student two,
"Are my Bavory goods so well."
"Why salt," said the student first,
"Are tho lovely goods I take;
Since you are a salt seller too,
I think that wo should shake."
SALINE MURPHY
Mr. X„ having missed 12 lectures,
has  received  a cutting  letter  from
the faculty.
Doctor Sedgewick, asked for his
opinion on this pun number, seemed
unable to say anything, so we assume
his silence was	
Why go to the museum when we
have the Student's Council.
The Chief Reporter, when asked
for his opinion on this pun number,
stated, after much thought, "Puerile
Puns Prove Pepless. Putrid Punsters Probably Perpetrated Puns as
Punishment for Pep Meetings."
And so the lion vanished.
Miss X. entered the biology class
and began: "Now, gentlemen and
ladies, I have here a particularly fine
specimen of a dissected frog." Opens
box and discloses chicken sandwiches. Great Scott! I thought I ate
my lunch."
Even the Players Glub Has Its Cross
to Baird
APOLOGIES
1. To 1. F, for putting his initials
to a letter attacking this page. We
hated to do this, but we were Forster.
3. To the person writing the letter
for putting his letter over B. F.'s initials.
3. For this number, to the student
body. One a year is our limit of this
kind.
OUESS THE NAME OF THIS
Sadie, with her Beane Fuller of
Blrneylng Inglis, fairly Boyles with
Wrlghteous Rath of the Lord at this
Page. She Askes us to Lock on the
Armor of the Noble, Cllngen like a
Loach to the  Loudens.
But .Jokes aside, the Price of Cole
Is Tighe-lng up nil the .Mewcombers
to (he Aggies, they win III) longer
Winn with their Hull, hut (leorge is
still their Ledlnghani A Little third
says that N'unn are Sharpe enough
to Argue that we cannot dage what
will A. Rive in these Halls now that
this number Is Oliver.
We are through with Varsity women
We're done with Freshettes fair,
We're back from a land of promise,
Where each  wink Is a dare.
Each day you hear us sighing,
While  both  arms crave  for more,
If you ask us while we're pining
You'll hear the answering roar
BELLINOHAM!
NOTE -THIS PAGE IS PUN-K
Tiddly Tournament Tries Toddlers
The annual tournament of the Tld-
lywlnks Club was held, thanks to
the courts.iy of the lion-president, In
the concourse of the library last Tuesday evening. Mr. Robert Wright and
Mr. Thomas Wilkinson were the finalists in the men's singles. Theirs w»*
certainly a titanic struggle. Again
and again Referee Purdy was forced
lo call I line out to permit them In
recover Miilllclenily iii continue their
wonderful exhibition. Finally after
ul least six hours lively combat, during which time neither of the contestants lead hy more than three Hips,
Mr. Wilkinson succM-ded In downing
his doughty opponent by fi.191 Hips
In 7fi«2 trys lo «3»0 (lips In 7B«7 try*.
In the mixed doubles the play was
not quite so even. Mr. Xerxes Mc-
OooiMc and Miss Hlce Clegg whitewashed Mr, Howard Raton and Miss
Margaret McArthur to the tune of (il
(lips In 70 tries to 29 flips In 73 tries.
Thu ladles' singles In which Arts '29
met   Science,   was   a   better contest,
rivalling Indeed the men's single*.
However, after several hours' play
Miss Betty Matheson at last succeeded In defeating the Science champ,
Miss Maahwcll, 1875 flips In 1900
tries to 1864 flips In  1903 tries.
Tiddly-winks Is n comparatively
now game at tho U. B. C, but It
should not, for that reason, he neglected. With encouragement It may
even be brought to Ihe status of an
Internallotial sport. And since (he
recent failure of American Football
In that regard, we must depend on It
lo put us on a par with the Universities to the south, where H Is universally regarded as Ihe greatest college  sport.
Hon'i forget our First Inlernallonal
contest, with the Phartnacal College
of llitfhnliiiul on April 1, at the How
en Island MtaiMum. Entries for the
tryouts close next week, Hand In
your names to Mr. Win. (Dill) Thompson, before lo p.m. February 29th.
Admission, .'I pins, (sorority or otherwise).
\rvi.      NVr\ t   I
A Widow's Tribute
"There was no end to his thoafhtful-
ness. The Great-West Lilt) lmmthty
cheque never fails us; it meets e**ry
need; we are free from investment
worries and the sin of extirowutee,"
33
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Commercialism In
American Football
The following Is clipped from the
"Grissly," University of California,
Southern Branch:
"When 'Red' Orange, invincible Illinois half-back, signed up last Saturday to become a professional football player, the era of professional
football dawned, and that of amateur
football passed its heydey. If we art
to take the history of baseball as a
criterion we cannot but come to the
conclusion that tfie day will come
when football will be relegated to the
same position among college sports
as baseball. In other words, while
It may remain more popular than the
diamond pastime, it win no longer be
a heavy drawing card to the tone ot
thousands ot fans who have enriched
American Universities through gate
receipts.
The college public regrets the commercialization of Its last and most
favorite amateur game, a matter
which spells its downfall. It Is dlffl-
cut to believe that the graft born in
professionalised baseball will not enter Into the new Industry—a situation
which may even result In legislation
adverse to the football pastime.
The irony of the circumstances lies
partly in the fact that the downfall
will be due largely to the decision of
one whom fate decreed to be a great
player In the sport. Human nature
has Its weaknesses, but the subversion of one of its endowed gifts to
commercial ends reduces It to a mere
commodity to be traded around, much
as an imitation of masterpieces, which
is not only cheap in itself, but which
also dims tho glory of tbe original."
—"California Grlzsly.*'
Important Meeting
There will he a meeting of all members of the rowing scpiad In I'tooni
102 Applied Science rlulldlug on Monday, January 27th, ut 12 noon. It
muy be of interest to the student." In
general, and In particular to those
who would like to Join the club, lo
know that prospects aro very bright
lor a winning crew. Of course rowing la no sinecure and it take? grit
to face a cold January wind on the
open harbor clad in rowing togs and
sitting in a light shell on a bard and
unfriendly seat. But grit has always
been the watchword and spirit of
U. B. C. and It Is the stuff that wins
tn a boat race.
The purpose of the meeting Is to
explain to the new men some of the
finer points of the technique of rowing. It Is Imperative that every man
who has been turning out attend this
meeting.
Lost—On Monday afternoon, January 18th, a lady's black Waterman's
fountain pen with a gold band and a
striped ribbon attached. Please return to Student Council office or
to Lillian Coade.
 «•»
INTERNATIONAL INTFH-COLLCQIATE
BASKETBALL. 8ATURDAY
THE   AMBASSADOR
610 Seymour Street
— Headquarter* far Service	
Club Luncheons, Dinners and Banquots
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MUSIC and DANCING .OTJLflTffi0.-
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Another Side of
RugbyjQuestion
Kill tor, Ubyssey:
Criticism, like charity, Is said to
begin at home. With this authority.
I offer a few words in reply to "American Game is Upheld by Student."
The author ot the latter, Vice-President American Football Club (to
use his own phrase), being under
my special jurisdiction as a sophomore, will not, I feel sure, brush
aside any comments I may make.
My fellow-student commenced his
analysts of tbe advantages ot American football with a eulogy of the
"dear dead days" ot Oood King Ab.
The "good old days" have always
been the best—hence there are some
hopes for University traditions. Yet
Esprit de Corps, frail creature, has
fled or died or something. Apparently the best reconciliation or resuscitation or re- something else is
intercollegiate competition. So far
we agree. Something deplorable has
smitten our French mascot and
probably Intercollegiate competition
may serve to restore It
Then my playmate continues:
"The most logical sports to participate in are American football and
basketball. And of these two, football ia most Important." Why "most
important?" Bigger gate receipts,
higher costs, more rah-rahs (a positive indication of "esprit de corps"),
more casualties. Why dtscard basketball? Intercollegiate basketball
would provide plenty of "unifying
spirit" attd publicity. My compatriot acknowledges that the Canadian
Basketball Championship Berles excited a greater amount of favorable
publicity than our American football
activities last fall.
And now we come to the greatest
advantage of the game: it is a seasonal game. The player trains intensively during the fall term, but after
the middle of November It Is all ovor.
Just think of It! Studies are neglected for a scant two months (a mere
25% of our session). "Concentrated attention for three months" seems
to imply a month's practice before
Varsity opens, since the season ends
about "the middle of November."
Presumably we should work the old
gag of having our teams "employed"
at some nearby mills so that they
might have occasional practices. Personally I fall to see the advantage of
"concentrated attention tor three
months" over "half-hearted (necessarily?) attention for six." That
may be correct concerning the fans,
but ostensibly athletics aro for the
athlete. If ho Is through In less than
three months what will he do for the
next lour or live? 1'lny basketball?
There we would have a restriction
of the numbers of our athletes: the
same few would fill all tho important teams. Athletics are to develop
men and women, not games.
If we must have Intercollegiate
competition, why not try basketball
for a decade or so? At the best In
football wo can only hope to play
normal schools, miniature colleges,
freshman teams; but our bid tor the
Canadian Basketball Championship
is a sure Indication that we have already achieved a high standard in
that game. Within the next ten days
our Senior A boys tackle Washington's best. Here we have Intercollegiate competition. Let's develops
what we have, rather than play blind-
man's buff with a will o' the wisp.
What further comparisons cav* we
make of the two games? A basketball team Is small—three could be
sunt for the cost of one football
team; the cost of equipment Is very
much lower; we have facilities for
handling big games (the Arena);
huHkethall has a great hold tn Vancouver and In B. C. generally—con-
Hoquontly there will he no lack of
players;    but   American   football   Is
A Gift always appreciated—
Your Photograph.
McKfttuie Studio
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Phone. Sey. 2103
ft
High-class work al moderateprues
^gaaaassamsssssorsssamsgsssf   11       '" =
Soccer Men Plan
Great Comeback
At a general meeting of Varsity
soccer clubs on Tuesday, It was decided to keep a team in the Mainland
Cup Competition. Due to the withdrawal of Wilkinson, Butler and New-
combo front first division ranks the
forward line has been decidedly
wtakened and must be filled with
fast men before Varsity can hope to
annex any victories. With this end
in view Bill Oray and Art Stevenson
have been transferred to the first
team on which they will form the
right flank of the forward line. Crees
and Rex Cameron will continue to up*
hold the left wing. The centre forward position is still vacant, but the
management has not given up hope,
for If a good pivot man oould be
found to complete the line-up, Varsity
would have a team which would bring
soccer to the standing It had two
years ago.
-*•*-
Basketball Games
Those college women who are holding places on the basketball teams are
seeing some measure of activity these
fair January days. Last Monday,
Senior A team met King Edward Old
Gtrls, and Flora Musgrave and Gay
Swenclsky starred for Varsity. Although everyone played well, the final
score of 22-10 showed U. B, C. at the
tall end. On Wednesday, "A" team
engaged In deadly conflict with Its
sister team, Senior "B", and punished
tt severely to the tune of 28-14. Outstanding among the players in this
game were Doris Shorney and Flora
Musgrave,
Advertising jn "Annual"
The usual apathy was reflected in
the results of Tuesday's straw ballot,
only 68 students taking advantage of
the privilege. Advertising In this
year's Annual was favored by a 40-28
vote,
but little known even In the city, and
The Canadian code 1b still in its infancy (outside the city both games
are but mere newspaper terms)—in
short we should have to train our
own men, and by the time they
should be good players, good-bye.
Granted the American game may
come some day, let us at present
work to Improve our showing in the
game which has well-founded hopes
of success in Intercollegiate sports.
It is not the participation In "big"
games that arouses esprit de corps,
hut the prospect or at least the possibility of success. We must postpone for a few years our entrance
into a gladiatorial contest where our
weapon would he but a sword of
lead.
H. LESLIE BROWN,
Arts '28.
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OOWNS  .  UNOIRIE
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THAT *>l AM   PAVCIO  MOM  THAN
OTHIM av THl IXACTIH* fUlllO
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