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The Ubyssey Mar 15, 1935

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 ■'//
Issued Twice Weekly by the Students' Publications Board of The University of British Columbia
VOL. XVII.
VANCOUVER, B. C, FRIDAY, MARCH 15, 1935
No. 41
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUV WXY Z!
Campus HorrifiedSpirit of Sweet -i ■*-
Elopment Scandal
Stacks Now Open To All
This year tho university will close
on a sad note. In the General Hospital of this city the young and glamorous Mrs. Don Fizzington lies near
the point of death. Bearnard Brynelson, new president of the Alma Mater Society, is the hero of the hour
but his triumph has sombre tone. Will
the beautiful young woman in Ward
X pass into the great beyond?
Heroic Bernie
Leaving his stock shortly after midnight Wednesday, March 13, Brynelson hurried to the main entrance of
the library to find the doors locked.
There vas no alternative but to spend
the night in the library but Bomie
knew that his aged mother was waiting for him by the fireside of their
humble home. He could not disappoint her. He must get out. A careful search of the premises revealed
that a small door leading from tho
rear of the building could be easily
opened.
Just as the door clicked behind him
a deep moan rent tho stillness of tho
inky night. There was a "Farewell
Don, you have broken my heart."
Then a splash and all was quiet.
Lily Pond Scene of Tragedy
It wasn't for nothing that the young
man had been elected president of
his Alma Mater, instantly his keen
intellect told him that the gruesome
sound came from the front of the library. A moment later he was standing on the brink of the lily pond.
There in the centre of the murky
water a fair fu.-m rose to the surface
to di.sappdar'*once more into the black
depths as the white filmy garments
floated about it. In an instance thc
Scienceman was in the water. A few
powerful strokes and the girl was in
his arms and they had regained tho
shore.
H^s colls for help brought Nur.sc
Pucas to the scene. Today the young
wife, broken ."tu1 ill, lies at death's
door in Ward X, general hospital.
Insane
Constable Orchard in his official
capacity, immediately commenced investigation. At first it seemed that
Mrs. Fizzington had become temporarily insane from anxiety for her
husband who the believed to be over
working.
Further investigation shook the
univereity anew with sorrow. It was
reveal-el today that when university
authorities sought to break the news
of the tragedy to Mr. Fizzington, the
popular bearded gentleman could not
be found. Dean Suzzanan becoming
alarmed, searched tho house' after
forcing an ■ entrap ee through the basement. While he was still in the house
the phone rang. On answering it he
heard tho anJcious voice of Mr. Corn
demanding th: whereabouts of his
private secretary, Miss Penderson,
who had disappeared from her home
earlier in the evening. The young
lady carried with her a small overnight bag an-I her family became
alarmed when she didn't return home.
A search of her room revealed a
crumpled letter signed "Your clear
Don" and beseeching Miss Penderson
to elope with him.
Cad Identified
A hurried canvas of officials of the
university under the name of Don
quickly eliminated Professor Don
Javidson, Dr. D. Jown of Union College, Professor Don Jell, Don Jor-
nish, Don Jogan, and D. Jould. Only
Don Fizzington remained. The still
white form in the General Hospital
told the rest of the tale.
Mrs. Fizzington returning home from
an early show of David Copperfield,
found her husband hurriedly packing. In a word he had told her that
the beautiful Miss Penderson had won
his love, that he could not live without her.
Traced to Bellingham
A few minutes later he was gone.
Miss Penderson is said to have been
suffering of late from a nervous disorder,  overwork  in  noisy surround-
Real Tragedy On Stage
Marks Second Night
Leading Lady Now Confined
In Cellar
Disaster and tragedy blighted the
Player's Club performance of "Hedda
Gabler" last night when a loaded pistol, fired by Eunice Alexander, struck
Hugh Palmer in the wings,,shattered
eleven amber floodlights, and several
tho rope holding a seventy-pound
sandbag, which fell from above the
stage onto William Sargent, who
suffered a fractured skull and the
loss of two front teeth. Subsequent
panic was averted only ^ rtwrShiick
action of the stage crew, who rung
down the curtain immediately and
turned in thc fire alarm.
Never Before
While the i.uflience sat in horror-
struck silence, a corps of attractive
ushers headed hy Norah Gibson and
Connie Baird quickly began pissing
tho hat down the aisles in order to
raise funds for the damage, and
shortly afterwards Professor Larsen,
Honorary President of thc Club, came
on the stage and announced that
never in the history of the organization had .'.uch a thing happened,
and that there would  be no refund.
Hedda In Cellar '
Investigation into the accident will
begin shortly, and pending further
developments Miss Alexander has
been temporarily suspended and confined in the cellar of the Arts building. It ir: expected that some regulations regarding the use of firearms
on the campus will be drawn up in
conseciuence of the affair, which has
proved so sensational a culmination
to the twentieth year of tho Club's
existence.
Bryndelson Confesses
Startling Statements
"I have Inside information
that drinking is rampant on
this campus," declared next
year's A.M.S. president. "Students don't object to paying
fines so next year i snail institute the custom of giving
lashes for disorderly conduct.
One lash for one drink. My
noble chemical engineers have
perfected a new stomach pump
which will show exactly how
many drinks each student has
had. I am absolutely for more
purity on this campus. I havo
not joined the Oxford Group
for even they are not pure
enough for me. I can state
with perfect truth that I have
never done anything my mother
wouldn't want me to do. You
certainly did very well in electing mc!"
+.—..	
»_.+
Letters Club Gets
More Members
Hopes To Last Another Year
NEW EDITOR
John Cornish
This i:, the
the souls of ne
the Janitors a'-
telli-eiv.v of ;.'i:
■Jraie cxeeilent
itor   and   News
man   who    will    :
•:t  year's Council
I o   iniin; :;c3   the
■ear
ind
in-
Pub. He
f. rive a.'-
Manage'.,>
has already
Senior Ed-
Pub Must Pay   I    Another
For Their Play Institute Lecture
Council Eats Olives and
Passes Motions
He Was One Editor-in-Chkl
of Ubyssey
Russians No Longer
Sleep Nude
MOSCOW, March 15, (FP):-By special editc of Mr. J. Stalin, well known
figure in Russian political circles, the
Russian proletariat will henceforth
wear pajamas to bed. As a consequence of this move, which came as
a great surprise to many of Mr. Stalin's worst enemies, textile mills all
over the U.S.S.R. will commence work
on double shifts to supply the new
demand.
Russia's boss denies that this is a
concession to bourgeois custom or
that he is trying to punish the underwear industry by replacing underwear with pajamas. He only wants
to' provide work and wages for the
six million people who, according to
Herr Hearst and Co., are starving to
death in the Ukraine.
Bill Robertson as president, Doreen
Agnew as secretary-treasurer, and
Hugh Herbison as archivist ate the
officers of the Letters' Club for next
year, elected at the annual meeting
on Tuesday night at the home of
Professor and Mrs. Thorleif Larsen.
More Women Wanted
The following new members were
elected: Betty Hoffmeister, Connie
Baird, Paulino Patterson. David Pet-
tapiecc, Sam Koddan. John Gould
Kenneth Grant. Shinobu Higashi and
Reg. Jessup, Two vacancies for women   remain   to   be   filled   in   the   fall.
Short papers, dealing with literal's
values of the books of the Old Testament, were read by Arthur Mayse.
Bill Robertson, Clare Brown and
Alan Morley.
Anglican College Gone
But Theologs Survive
Swollen to a mighty seventy foot
wide torrent by recent rains, the little creek of a few days ago has completed its work of destruction. At
7:30 last night, Anglican College
crashed thunderously into the yawning depths. Fortunately, all thc students were in the building at the
time.   Steadily eating away the bank,
President Elect
Combs Hair
Brynelson Gets Huge
Majority
With one of the biggest majorities
ever recorded in U.B.C. political history, Bern Brynelson was swept into
the presidential office on an avalanche of ballots. Brynelson chalked
up a vote of 533, nearly three times
the vote of his nearest opponent, Cam
Gorrie.
Immediately the result was announced, the eleven star reporters of
the ''Ubyssey" burned up tho ground
in an epie dance toward the Engineering building. There they found the
new president, sitting at a drafting
table, surrounded by ream upon ream
of paper, upoi which were scrawled
cabalistic calculations. Around him
sat rows of red sweatered engineers,
each with the regulation forty steins
in front of him.
Interviewed
Eagerly the press approached them
With awe they approached the new
president. Th) first» question they
asked was: "Do you think that your
administration will be a successful
one?"
Combing His Golden Hair
For a long time the great man was
silent, thoughtfully scratching his
back with an elegant gold handled
slide rule. Finally he pulled a tiny
gold backed mirror from his pocket.
and carefully brushed his golden hair.
the waterfall came  to the  gym.    At  He straightencd, and in a deep, rcs-
about 4 tins morning the gym began I onant voice| rcplied;  ..^.^ Js somc.
thing which  remains  to  be seen.  It
to sag. Despite all efforts to rouse
the sleeping Senior A team, they
could not be wokencd, and they went
to their doom with the ill fated gym.
ings had been believed to be the
cause but Wednesday's tragedy throws
a new light on the situation.
The f.'eeing lovers have been traced
to Bellingham but no further clues
can be found.
Students Behind Trees
Thousands of curious students
thronged the surrounding country,
crouching behind trees and hummocks. It was only the efforts of
provincial police which saved many
lives.
Hurrah, No More Lectures
At the time of writing, large chunks
are falling. Ouch! that was too close.
The Administration Building has
just gone. The Library and Science
building are things of the past. The
Arts building and all the chers have
gone. There only remains the Auditorium on a rough island of sand,
which is rapidly melting away. One
corner of the Pub office has just fallen off. Now the entire east end of
the building, up to the lobby, has
plunged into the abyss.
I am sealing this up in a bottle. I
hope it will reach someone. There
it goes. I am left on a peak approximately two inches square. I am
throwing the bottle now. Goodbye . .
The paper must go on . . .
lies in the future.   It is Kismet."
The sonorous voice ceased. Each
engineer raised a stein in jubilation
and drained it to the last drop. But
the great sage was again absorbed
in his calculations. He seemed sublimely oblivious of all around him.
It was inexplicable. Of course, there
were forty empty steins beside him,
but his apparent lack of interest in
his surroundings seemed merely part
of the sage's philosophical serenity.
And so we left him, thinking
mighty  thoughts.
Brilliant suggestions for improvements on the Campus were heard
when Council met, in customary dis-
sapated style, Monday night. Following the dinner supplied by the Caf.,
the members retired to the Council
room (laden with olives and cake)
and there commenced business.
Handsome Walter Kennedy, who
has so ably guided the Men's Undergraduates Society in the past year,
made a last cesperate stand for the
superiority of the male sex on this
Campus.
Down With the Women's Union
Building
The question cf support from thc
A.M.S. in collecting funds for the
Women's Union Building arose. Said
Walter Kennedy--"Wo will only have
a small corner in the Building. We
won't have anything to say in running it. Wii it's tho use of the men
raising money? I vote for a Men's
Union Building" (here several pitti-
ful puns were made—not suitable to
thc high tone of the Ubyssey),
Publications Board Abused
The artistic endeavours cf the Publications Board in unconvential murals and broken dishes came in for
high censor from Council. Murray
Mather, president, decried the tcm-
pcrmcntal outpourings of the intelligentsia on thc Campus as being
indecent and defiling.
John Sumner, president of thc
L.S.E., whoie-heartcdly supported
the president's opinions, "it is utterly ridiculous this defacing the Pub
Office with obscene drawings," said
the only man who stands for Literature and Science on the otherwise
materialistic Council.
" 'Arf a mo'," said Walter Kennedy,
"Why not have the Pub pay for the
damage." At this point James Malkin, RothschieH of thc Campus, ar-
rose in defence of Art, "We cannot do
this thing," lie cried. But the motion
was lost—the Publications Board will
have to pay.
Then for two long and heated hours
Council debated the question, "Should
the debating team make Council pay
for tea on the Seattle trip?" The
arguments raged until Fred Bolton,
Men's Athletic Representative, spoke
up, "These men had to eat! Would
you rather they had tea or dinner?''
"Oh, I see," said Murray Mather,
"I'd forgotten that Englishmen call
simper, tea. We'll pass the budget."
Basketball Heroes Found To Be
Neglected
Freddy Bolton climaxed the meeting with a pathetic plea for members
of the basketball team, or rather for
the member's friends and associates.
"If you sit too near a member of the
Basketball Club," he said, "when he
is clad in his strip—well, it's not very
comfortable. I vote a sum of ten
dollars for cleaning the basketball
strip."
Council symprthetically passed the
motion.
The weekly lecture of the Vancouver Institute will be given on Saturday evening at 8:15 In Room 100, the
Arts Building of the University of
British Columbia The speaker will
be' Dr. H. M. Cassidy, the Provincial
Director of Social Welfare, and the
subject "Some Trends in Social Insurance."
Side by side with the development
of mechanical and electrical contrivances during the last century that
have multiplied industrial efficiency
and thereby reduced drudgery and
expanded leisure, there has been a
parallel devolpmcnt in the extension
and improvement of social relations.
There is an increasing, and almost
general, recognition that misfortunes
which in the pa>t have been regarded
as purely personal, should be distributed over, and borne by, society at
large. Fifty years ago unemployment
was a purely personal problem: to*
day it is a charge upon the state. In
England, medical attention is now a
recognized department of the work
of government, and Canada is rapidly approaching the time when legislation will make similar provision.
The recent appointment of Dr. Cassidy is an indication of this tendency
in British Columbia and is typcal
of the modern enlargement of the
sphere of government, and ts assumption of authority and responsibility
in social directions.
Dr. Cassidy is a graduate of the
University of British Columbia, who
has pursued with distinction his studies in other institutions. He is highly
regarded by sociologists of authority,
and his lecture on Saturday is being
anticipated  with   keen  interest.
Mr. George E. Winter, the President of the Institute, will take the
chair at 8:15. Thc B.C. Electric Railway provides buses at Sasamat street
which go directly to the University
and wait there until the close of the
lecture. All Institute lectures are free
to the public.
Prairie Editor
Slain By Bomb
Eleven Professors Revolt
NOTICE
Phrateres elections will take place
on Monday, March 25, in Arts 100 at
noon. The nominating 'committee
consists of Kay Bourne, Juanita Falconer, Mamie McKee, Jean Seaton,
Betty White. Phrateres convention is
to be held at Whitman College, Walla
Walla, Washington, on April 26, 27.
All We Like Sheep
NOTICE
Out of town men please look in
the Arts Men's Letter Rack for letters next week.
STOP PRESS
The announcement was made
late last night that Mr. Kemp
Edmonds has been nominated
as the first male candidate for
President of the Women's Undergrad. If he Is elected, he will
be the first man ever to have
held the office.
NOTICE
There will be no meeting of the
graduating classes at noon today as
was stated in Tuesday's Ubyssey.
This meeting will be held on Tuesday, March 26, after all fees have
been collected, so that the valedictory
gift may be definitely decided on, and
a permanent executive elected.
The restoration of the boat trip is
practically assured. All that remains
is for you to pay your gradaution
fees.
Pay your graduation fees, $6.50.
At the University of "Atchewan"
eleven professors have revolted against
student control. They have locked
themselves up in the faculty room,
and are prepared to stay there until
their demands are met.
As we reported in this column a
week ago, the students at this college recently organized a vigilantes
committee to blacklist professors who
were not fair to their classes/
In an issue of the "Keaf," the names
of eleven professors were given, along
with the information that these men
were not treating students in a fair
way. The professors asked the paper
to retract the statement, but this was
refused.
The next move was the voluntary
confinement of the eleven members
of the faculty. They took food and
amunition enough for a week, and
are intending to remain in isolation
until the paper retracts the statements.
This action is causing minor disturbances on the campus. A bomb
was thrown into the office of the
Keaf, causing the death of two assistant editors. Another bomb was
hurled at th? editor when he was
eating his lunch at a nearby hot-dog
stand. No darru.ge was done—only
the editor being killed,
It will be interesting to follow the
revolt of the professors, inasmuch aa
the last stand of student government
is at stake.
The Lord Will Provide
Alma Mater Meeting Wednesday Noon Page Two
THE UBYSSEY
Friday, March 15, 1935
Slip IbyaHpy
(Member C.I.P., PJ.P.A.)
Telephone: Point Orey 106
Isaued twice weekly by the Student* Publication Board
of the Alma Mater Society of the Univereity of British
Columbia.
Mail Subscriptions ft. per Year
Campua Subscriptions $1.5* per Year
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF! Archie
Newa Manager: John Corniah
8BNIOB EDITORS
Tuesday: Darrel Gomery     rrlday: Zoe Browne-Clayton
Sporta Editors Donald Macdonald
Associate Sporta Editor: Clarence Idyll
Associate Edlton: Murray Hunter, John Logan
Feature Edlton Margaret Ecker
Assistant Sporta Edlton: Kemp Edmonds, M. Taylor
Assistant Edlton: Dorwin Baird, Norman Depoe
Donna Lucas, Pauline Patterson
Literary Edlton Arthur Mayee
Cartoonist: John Davidaon
Columnists: Alan Morley, Nancy Mllei
Circulation Managen Stuart De Vitt
Circulation Assistant! Alan Walah
General: Madge Neill, Dave Petaplece, Shinobu Higashi,
Jim Beverage, Ruth Hall, Ken Grant, Bob McKenzie,
Rex A. Morrison, Lleyd Hobden, Nick Rodin, W. T.
Robertson. Bob King, Sheila Buchanan, Doreen Agnew,
Stanley Weston, Frank Seaman, Bob Melville, K. D. M.
Patterson.
Sport: Bill Stott, Morgan Rhodes, Paul Kozoolin, Milton
Taylor,  Frank Turner, Byron Straight
Advertising Managen Tad. Jeffery
Exchange Edlton Dorwin Baird
TOTEM STAFF
Edlton Alan Baker
Associate Edlton Jack McDermot
Assistant Edlton: Katherine Scott, Don Hogg, Paddy
Colthurst
FRIDAY, MARCH 15, 1935
Life is not a bowl of cherries. It is mainly
exams. For sixteen years many of us have been
crushed under their dreadful yoke. And now
again they say we must suffer. Shall our Manhood (or womanhood) be again insulted. No!
No! A thousand times No! Remember our
glorious pioneer ancestors! For days they struggled over parched plains to freedom. Are we
free? No, we are bound in the shackles of convention. Toss them aside. Wander forth into
the balmy airs free of civilization. The blue
blood of heroes flows through our viens but we
are trodden as slaves under the dust of professors' boots. Arise brothers! Let us raise the
war cry "Freedom or Death" Canadian youth
is not dead it is merely dormant. We are not
born for nothing, no indeed we are not. Honor
your father and your mother if you can.
Meanwhile best luck in the approaching
mental contests.
WANTED--ONE PUB HOUSE
Without a doubt the most pressing need
of this campus at the present time is the erection of a permanent reinforced concrete building to house the one function which justifies
the existence of the University of British Col-
umbia-namely, the Ubyssey.
Is it not an atrocity that hundreds of thousands of dollars should be spent on the construction of a library to provide a shelter where
students may read their Ubysseys-when the
very reason for maintaining a library is compelled to cast its pearls of wisdom from a dinky, poky, dirty little hole in a corner of the
Auditorim? One of the most appalling tragedies of our modern educational system is the
spectacle of the sprouting genius of Canadian
youth heroically struggling to burst the bonds
of confinement imposed upon it by these de
plorably cramped quarters. The noble purpose
In their eyes-the innocence and purity of their
soaring spirits-ah, how could a country which
pretends to culture and refinement treat them
thus?
The answer is simple and inevitable. A building must and will be brought to completion
The top floor will contain the private suite of
the editor-in-chief, with a library where he can
carry on his intensive researches into current
social and political developments on the cam
pus. This should also contain a shower bath
and a fire escape.
The Campus Crab should have his sanctuary on the roof in the form of a dome-shaped
pill box bristling with machine guns and antiaircraft guns to protect him from the misguided
bue well meaning attacks of such creatures as
Council members. This should moreover be
constructed so that the ocupant would be unable to get out.
The members of the editorial staff should
each be provided with a private office complete
with a chesterfield, a radio and a box of chocolates. And connected with these offices there
should be a recreation room to which members
could retire to indulge in their favorite pastime
of smashing cups and saucers.
And for the safety of the editorial staff and
of students in general the reporters should be
Soothing Syrup
* • *
PARLOUR
*   •   *
PINKS
*     *     •
FAREWELL
Crab
by
Campus ♦
Another Blasted Hope
It is with deep disappointment that I see
the Student League, that promising collection
of young radicals, is becoming just as ineffectual, just as visionary, and just as ignorant of
realities as the other moribund mutual admiration societies that stifle all progress on the
campus.
It is to be expected that immature enthusiasts should occasionally embark on unprofitable ventures, but why choose the ultimate
futility?
It is also to be expected that they should
occasionally depart from the paths of strict
logic, but why brandish absurd fallacies in the
face of the public?
And it must, in spite of the possibility of
wounding the feelings of our parlour pinks, be
confessed that they are doing both these things
in opposing the visit of the "Karlshrue" to
Vancouver on the grounds that they are "taking a stand" against Hitler's oppression of the
Germans and at the same time "consolidating
opinion" at home.
A Little Common-sense
The fact of the matter is that hostile demonstrations against the Nazi navy will be "taking
a stand" that will react directly and forcibly
against any party in Germany which it is intended to benefit, as anyone with the faintest
conception of the mentality of a dictator will
realize at once.
The second violation of commonsense lies
in the belief that such action will "consolidate
opinion against reaction at home." This statement cuts deeper, and shows that the Student
League have obsessed themselves with catchwords and economic theory, and like so many
other radicals, have lost their sense of proportion, forgetting that there is such a thing as
human nature.
The great majority of Canadians at present
abhor the manifestations of Nazism and Fascism in Europe. We pride ourselves that we
are morally and spiritually above such foulness, and lean heavily toward the side of Socialism. But if the Student League and their
fellow hare-brained asses show that they are
just as capable of, and as much inclined toward rowdyism and bad manners as any of
their enemies, they will lose a large proportion
of the support and sympathy they now merit.
It will be a shame to ourselves, not to the
Nazis, if we exceed the bounds of international
courtesy. We can be hostile, but we do not
need to be impolite.
And We'll Never, Never Meet Again - - -
Having got that off my mind, it is now my
pleasant duty to bid you all farewell. The
Campus Crab vanishes forever out of your glad
young lives with this issue.
It is now some fifteen months since I first
appeared in these chaste pages, through which
I have scattered desolation and woe in suitable
quantities for the benefit of your embryonic
souls (those of you that have them). Of late
it has become very boring indeed, and I am
happy to escape the necessity of rehashing any
more of your uninteresting pecadillos.
It would have been a different matter if
you had shown any initiative or gumption in
your mild transgressions, but that is the last
thing in the world to be expected on this cam
pus.
Unfortunately, you have proved yourselves
incapable of more serious faults than vulgar
ity, uncleanliness, stupidity, apathy and occasional petty thievery, distributed so evenly
through the student body as to produce a dead
level of milk-and-water barbarism.
You will have to do better than that to deserve the regular attention of a columnist as
discerning and able as myself.
So good-bye, and God bless you, my friends,
if He can find anything in you worth blessing.
i
CLASS & CLUB
NOON HOUR TALKS ON
CHOOSING A PROFESSION
Speaker—Professor J. M. Turnbull.
Subject—The Life and Work of the
Mining Engineer.
Date—Tuesday, March 19.
Time—12:25 noon.
Place—102 Ap. Sc.
ART CLUB
The  annual  meeting  of  the  Art
Club will take place on Wednesday,
March 20, at 8:15 p.m, at the home
of Mrs. Ridington, 4512 Vf. First Ave.
MATHEMATICS CLUB
The final regular meeting of the
Mathematics Club for this term was
held  last  Thursday evening at the
home of Mr. Richardson.
Two papers were presented. Miss
Phoebe Riddle spoke on "Spiral Nebulae" and Mr. Henry Clayton spoke
on "Newton's Calculus."
1. R. C.
The final meeting of the Interna-
toinal Relations Club will be held on
Wednesday, March 20, at 6:30 p.m.
at the Union College. Dinner will be
served at that time and after that
Prof. Soward will give his annua)
address on "A Survey of World Affairs." Members and all their friends
are cordially invited.
/TACLE
/WEEPINGS
Elections
The Aggies are presenting for the
approval of the members of the
A.M.S. a candidate for the position
of Junior Member.. Wilfrid Stokvis
has been nominated because the Aggies have long felt the need of a
more representative and energetic
council.
We will not attempt to enumerate
the personal merits of our candidate
but we will state that Wilf. has the
strong and full support of some sixty odd Aggies who are desirous of
seeing long awaited Improvements
considered and passed by our council.
COSMOPOLITAN CLUB
The last meeting of the Cosmopolitan Club for this term will be held
Sunday, March 17, at 5 o'clock at
Norah Sibley's home, 4515 West 12th.
Dr. Trumpour of the Anglican Theological College will give "A Travel
Talk Through Pelestine." There will
also be the election of officers.
BIOLOGICAL DISCUSSION CLUB
The last meeting will be held on
Monday, March 18, at the home of
Mrs. G. J. Spencer 4620 West 9th Ave.
Professor G. J. Spencer will speak
on "Kamloops Revisited."
S. C. M.
The tenth annual Student Christian
Movement spring camp will be held
from April 27 to May 4 at Gambier
Island. The theme will be "The Reason for Living," Leaders for camp
will be drawn from the university
staff and down town business men.
The two special speakers will be Dr.
Bruce Curry of Union Theological
Seminary, New York, and Beverly
Oaten. The camp is open to all university students and does not oblige
them to attend any other activities
of the S.C.M. For further information see Sam Roddan, the camp business manager,
CLASSICS CLUB
On Tuesday, March 19, the Classics
Club will present its annual plays in
the Women's Lower Common Room,
at 8 p.m.
The plays to be presented are:
The Prologue of Shaw's "Androcles
and the Lion."
Two Scenes from Terence's "Phor-
mio."
This meeting is open to all students, and any friends of the Classics
Club are invited. A special invitation is extended to Juniors who wish
to become members of the Classics
Club next year.
Field Trip
Vancouverites residing in the vicinity of the Pacific Stages terminal
were aroused early last Saturday
morning by the shouted greetings and
yells of lusty Agriculturists as the
U.B.C. Farmers set out on their annual field trip to the Agassiz Experimental Farm.
On arrival, an argument of some
week's standing was settled when the
finals of the inter-department tug-of-
war were pulled. In two preliminaries, which were sudden death pulls
the Grads. were able to defeat the
combined A.H. and Poultry teams
while the Dairymen defeated the
Sophomores. In the Grand Final the
Dairymen vanquished the Grads. by
winning two straight pulls—the finest
pulls witnessed in the whole competition. After the tug-of-war the
usual tour of inspection and judging
competitions tock place—two classes
each of horses, sheep, dairy cattle
and swine fell below the critical gaze
of the budding judges. Members of
the Faculty were also calling on Lady
Luck in their efforts to win the
special trophy which is to be presented to the high Prof.
Thanks to thc kindness of Mr.
Hicks, Superintendent of the Farm,
copious quantititr of coffee and food
made their appearance at he conclusion of the judging competition. Congratulations Agassiz on preparing the
finest field trip in the last few years!
What Aggies Are Saying
Dean Clement: I was taught at college that—and that wasn't long ago,
in terms of centuries—
•   •   •
Personal: Dear Phil W., all is forgiven. Please call after 6:30. Bubbles.
list Liners
Ahoy!
In a vote for moet popular student
One chap wae far teeing and prudent,
Patted out Buckingham Smokes
To the gait and the bloket
YOU FILL IN THE LAST LINE I
For the best last line for the
above Limerick received at the
eddre«fl below, on or before
March SO , the makers of
Buckingham Cigarettes will
award a tin of 100 Buckinghazns
free.
You will notice the difference
with your first package of
Bucklnghams- and here is why.
— exceptional mildness — that
"throat easy" quality —and consistent freshness, supplied by
the handy "Cellophane" pouch
package.
Premium Cants In Every Potkaee
Me Trading Necenmry to Meikt Sett.
Smoke
BUCKINGHAM
—and Smile !
TUCKETT LIMITED (DEPT. 6-C
HAMILTON,      .       .      ONTARIO
PUBLIC STENOGRAPHER
MIMEOGRAPHING
Neat, Accurate Work
Reasonable Rates
at the
POPULAR
LENDING LIBRARY
4489 W. 10th Ave,
Phone Pt. Grey 67
Magazines Stationery
Confessions of Love Life
A hitherto hidden part In the past
of two Aggie Seniors was revealed
on Saturday last when hundreds of
Susquihatch Maidens (relatives of
the Harrison Hairy Men) and village
Belles flocked to the Experimental
Farm to renew the clandestine acquaintances madn during the past
summer.
I   IL MOROC
I       CABARE
I (DINE AND DAN
Correspondence   |
ensconced in a padded cell in the basement
where they could amuse themselves to their
dear hearts' content.
And in token of the spiritual uplift which
the Ubyssey stands for on the campus, this edifice should be constructed on the model of a
Gothic cathedral, crowned by a statue of Saint
D. C. S. Macdonald-who has done so much to
bring the Ubyssey to its present state of ungodliness.
Editor,  Ubyssey,
Dear Sir:
In reply to the letter of March 12
from the Student League of Canada,
I wish to clear up any misapprehension to which this letter may give
rise. The Student Christian Movement is not "Understood to be against
war and fascism." We, as a group,
are against war but we do not take
any political stand, for it has been
our policy firs: and last to take the
international viewpoint. Our attitude
has been understood by the Student
League ever since we both became
members on the Anti-War Council.
Other organizations made it a point
that they be understood by the Student League as against war, and not
any particular political system.
The Student League knew our attitude and haa deliberately included
us to seemingly uphold their whole
policy.
The Student Christian Movement
stands against the idea of war, but
we will not be dragged in on an antifascist stand. Many of us in the
movement feel that the money used
to entertain warships from other
countries as well as this one from
Germany could be used for a much
more constructive purpose, but why
pick on the "Karlsruhe"?
Yours truly,
» Jean M. Fraser,
Rep. of S.C.M. on Anti-War Council.
MOROCCO
CABARET
AND DANCE)
Special rates to students In
parties of 12 or more up te 200
Dancing 10 p.m. till 3 a.m.
Minimum Service  on  Fridays
35c per person, Saturdays 50c
per person
Hold your next party here
828 Granville St.
Sey. 481
VAUGHAN MOORE, Mgr.
Your
New Car...
deserves the finest fuel
that money can buy . ..
Give it - -
HOME
GAS
. . . Guaranteed to be
unsurpassed for quick
start, rapid acceleration,
power, anti-knock, purity and mileage ...
"You Can Buy
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Educational Agencies
Associated
Staff of expert coaches assist students
in all subjects.
Arts and Science
Conversational and Commercial
Spanish, French, German and
Italian also taught
R. B. WESTMACOTT, M.A.
Director
2749 W. 11th Ave. Bay. 9186 L
.^IP^
w
ESSAYS and THESES
In any language
neatly and accurately typed.
Miss J. ll Dickson
Bay. 9232 4355 Granville
a.
TIVOLI BALLROOM
1027 Pender West, near cor. Burrard
Regular Dance Nights, Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays
Admission—Ladles 20c, Gents 35c
Catering to Banquets, Social Clubs, Private Parties,
Bridge and Whist Parties
For Further Information Phone Trin. 1823 Friday, March 15, J935
Hedda Gabler
Great Success
The Players Club this week ended
• controversy of several year's duration as to whether university students
are capable of presenting tragedy,
with their spring production of Ibsen's "Hedda Gabler." The artistic
understanding of the cast justified
their choice of vehicle this year.
"Hedda Gabler," the finest of modern tragedies, is austere and undec-
orated in its concentration of theme,
and ag such demands a complete unity of understanding among the players. It is not a play In which variety
can be achieved by one single player,
rather the group must work for the
glory of the whole.
In this respect the U.B.C. Players
provided an adequate cast. Hedda,
played by Eunice Alexander, from
one point of view, filled her role
magnificently. While she was present she completely dominated the
audience as well as the stage. Thisi
aspect of the churacter possibly overshadowed another aspect which might
have been developed a little  more
THE UBYSSEY
Page Three
fully, Hedda as a woman of devasta
ting charm.   The two were not   ai
carefully blended aa they might have
been.
Mrs. Elvsted was charmingly played
by Audrey Philips with a naturalness
rarely found ln such a young actress.
With a minimum of action she conveyed, as she should have, a woman
of poise and sensitivity.
The tendencies of the three men,
George Tesman, Judge Brack and Ei-
lert Lovborg, ss played by Stuart
Keate, Hugh Palmer and Bill Sargent,
to caricature the roles slightly, whether conscious or not, simplified the
problem around which the play was
constructed from the audience point
of view. Stuart Keate's interpretation of the literal Ingenuous husband
was particularly good In detail of
movement. Hugh Palmer as the
suave, cynical man of the world,
maintained his role with the greatest
consistency of the three.
Bill Sargent's part, as the emotional, highly-strung weakling, was well
done in the third act, if slightly over
done In the second.
The minor part of Miss Teaman, the
sentimental aunt, played by Marjorie
Griffin, was done with sweet good-
humor, a difficult part which might
CORRESPONDENCE
ONE
SMOKER
TELLS
ANOTHER
Mr. D. C. S. Macdonald,
Dear Sir:
In your poaition on the Ubyssey
this year you have conducted yourself and the page with a grace, dex
terity, finesse, and aplomb common
to all great men.
Yours,
The Sports Editor.
Editor, Ubyssey,
Dear Sir:
May 1 congratulate you on a very
successful year? You, Mr. Editor,
have been tho best person in that
position for years.
Yours truly,
The Editor.
Miss Zoe Browne-Clayton, Campus,
Dear Zoe:
This is my last opportunity to do
what I've wanted to do all year. That
is to tell you lhat I admire you more
than anyone eh? on the campus. You
have been the best Senior Editor the
Ubyssey has ever had. Your editorials are perfect, only a little less
perfect than your page make-up. I
don't know how the Ubyssey will get
on without you.
Love from,
Thursday's Senior Editor.
Mr. John Cornish,
Dear, dear John:
Congratulations.    You  were  magnificent!
News Manager.
K
LOST
One very disreputable Trench Coat,
centre top button missing, in pocket
even more disreputable pair of gloves.
—Jay Gould.
The purest form
In which tobacco
cm be smoked"
J^ancet
# Your friend* are smoking Sweet Caporal
Cigarettes because other smokers th*y know have
been so persistent in their sincere praise cf Sweet
Caporal'* delightful mildness and appealing flavour.
To produce Sweet Caporal quality, we buy only the
choicest tobaccos, we age this tabacco patiently,
as good wine is aged, for at least thirty months,
ana we let nature take its course in mellowing the
tobacco so that you will like it. In this way we
make sure that there can be no raw tobacco in
Sweet Caporals. Try a package of Sweet Caporals
foday—you, too, will say they are milder, cooler,
smoother.
SWEET CAPORAL
CIGARETTES
SAVE     THE     POKER     HANDS
have often, but seldom did become a
little maudlin. Mary Moxon as the
fussy little maid, was quite adequate.
The touches of melodrama which
occasionally flawed the pure tragedy
of the play were regrettable, but except in a few instances, unavoidable.
It is unfortunate that the line "You
are in my power now," should convey to the piesent age of theatre
audiences a connotation of hill-billies.
The sincerity of the line Is uidubit-
able, and it would be presumptuous,
I suppose, to alter Ibsen's line which
was written when the phrase had a
more serious meaning.
In one or two instances, notably
the conclusion of the third act, with
the burning of the manuscript, the
melodrama could have been eliminated with a more restrained treatment.
All Candidates Have Many
Qualifications For Office
Corner Hastings and Cambie Streets
C. J. Graham, Manager
Agencies:
775 Granville St. 775 Columbia St., New Westminster.
320 Main St. 129 Lonsdale Ave., North Vancouver.
SECRETARY
Darrel Gomery has considerable ex
perience to recommend her for the
position of secretary. For two years
she has been secretary of Arts '36 and
has worked on the W.U.S. committee.
In addition her training as Senior Editor of the Ubyssey will be a valuable
asset
Gwen Pym has gained much practical experience in secretarial duties as
secretary ef L.S.E. As well she has
been Publicity Manager of Phrateres.
w. u. s.
Since her freshman year Ardy
Beaumont has been active in executive positions. In turn she has been
Literary representative Secretary and
Vice-president of Arts '35. In addition
she has served a term as secretary of
L.S.E.
Kay Bourne's executive knowledge
is varied. She was the first woman
president of the Big Block Club. For
the past two years she has been vice-
president of Arts '36. This year she
had the honor of being the first woman president of Arts '36.
W.A.A.
This year by acclamation Molly
Locke has been elected president of
Women's Athletics.
M. U. S.
Gordon Cummings is a Scienceman
who has taken part ln the Players
Club. In the sports realm he participates at the Ski tournaments.
Ewart Hetherington.—When at Varsity several years ago Ewart Hetherington was elected treasurer but did
not return the next year to fill the
position. He is an active member of
the Varsity Y and interested ln basketball. During his high school days
he acted on the executive of the King
Edward High school.
Ed Senkler, another Science contender for M.U.S., plays on both the
English and Canadian Rugby teams.
He also has had experience on the
Science class executives.
George Johnson was last year one of
the contestants for Junior Member.
He has had executive experience in
High School and at Varlsty.
HAIL UBYSSEY
A. M. S. Meeting
The annual meeting of
the Alma Mater Society
will be held next Wednesday noon in the Auditorium. All one o'clock lectures will be cancelled. As
this meeting is required
by the constitution, and as
important questions will
be discussed - including
those of lengthened noon
hours and of athletic eligibility • students are
asked to make every effort to ensure a quorum.
COMING EVENTS
Friday, March IS—
Hedda  Gabler   Aud., 8:15 p.m.
Varsity   vs.   Blue   Ribbons,   Gym.,
8:00 p.m.
Platforms:    Junior    Member    and
L. S. E.
Saturday, March 16—
Hedda  Gabler,  Aud., 8:15 p.m.
Varsity vs. Blue Ribbons, Gym.,
prelims. 8:00 p.m.
Vancouver Institute, Dr. Cassidy,
"Some Trends in Social Insurance", Arts 100, 8:15 p.m.
Monday, March 18—
Arts Pep Meeting, noon, Aud.
Platforms: Treasurer and Secretary,
Ap. Sc. 100, noon.
Tuesday, March 19—
Election of Students' Council, Students' Council Offices, 10-4.
Parliamentary Forum, Arts 100,
7:30 p.m., Debate: "Resolved that
the University is contributing to
the cultural life of this province."
Wednesday, March 20—
ANNUAL A.M.S. MEETING,  Aud.,
noon. 1  o'clock lectures are cancelled, i
Friday, March 22—
Science Pep Meeting, Aud. noon.
Saturday, March 23—
Vancouver Institute,  Arts  100, 8:15
p.m. Hon. Dr. F. M. Weir,  "The
Future of Secondary Education."
Saturday, Murch 30—
Vancouver Institute,  Arts  100, 8:15
p.m.,    Prof.    G.    G.    Sedgewick,
"Dante's Paradise."
TREASURER
For the past two years Clarence
Idyll has been an enthusiastic worker
in Campus activities. Last year as
Athletic Representative and this year
as President, Idyll has been the mainstay of the Arts '37 executive. In addition he played Intermediate A and
Senior B basketball and is Associate
Sport Editor of the Ubyssey.
Ted Wilkinson, the Commerce nominee for Treasurer, is an ardent
member of the Golf Club.
M. A. A.
John Harrison has been prominent
on the English Rugby team for the
past two years. Such experience will
stand this Artsman in good stead.
James Orr, Science nominee, is very
active in Campus activities. He organized the very successful Ski meet
held last year. This term he played
Canadian rugby and was selected on
the Intercollegiate all-star team. As
well he participates in soccer, track
and skiing. At present he is on the
M.A.A. executive and is also president
of the Outdoor Club.
L. S. E.
Jay Gould, a prominent addition to
the parliamentary forum this year, is
one of the candidates for the L.S.E.
presidency. His enthusiasm as advertising manager of the Players Club
has been rewarded by the whole
hearted support of the production.
Gould was active in the innovation of
the speaking classes and was one of
the three under-graduates chosen to
instruct the classes. He has had experience in the business world for
some years, being connected with the
Canadian Bank of Commerce.
Thomas Vance has experience on
the executive of several clubs. This
year he was Vice-President of the
Historical Society, was on the executive of the Parliamentary Forum and,
acted as Assistant Manager of the
Book Exchanye. He is active in the
public speaking classes, also.
JUNIOR MEMBER
Paddy Colthurst, who is running for
Junior Member, is an enthusiastic
worker on the Ubyssey. He has no
executive experience but this is not
necessary in such a position.
R. J. Killam is running for this office for the second time. He has no
previous experience but feels his enthusiasm will overcome this lack.
Gordon Morris possesses experience
from his High School days as well as
from his work as secretary of the Art
Club.
Wilf Stokvis also has experience
from high school days. He is active
on the Senior B Basketball team.
Allan Walsh is a member of the Pep
Club and the Book Exchange. He is
stage manager of the Players Club,
and Secretary of the Pep Club.
HAIL UBYSSEY
British Broadcaster
Will Lecture
Mr. Vemon Eartlett of London,
England, will on Saturday evening,
address a public meeting in the
Crystal Ballrom of Hotel Vancouver
on "The European Scene."
Authority
The speaker is a leading authority
on International Affairs, having spent
most of his life travelling about the
various countries of Europe. For ten
years he was Director of the London
office of the League of Nations, and
from 1928 to 1933 was the only regular commentator on Foreign Affairs
for the British Broadcasting Corporation. Since January, 1934, he has
been Diplomatic Correspondent for
the London "News-Chronicle."
Recommended
The lecturer is travelling in Canada
under the auspices of the National
Council of Education, giving four lectures in the course of his tour. He
is very highly recommended by
President Klinck.
HAIL UBYSSEY
NOTICE
Students who Intend to take up library work as a profession are invited to attend the annual convention
of the British Columbia Library Association to be held in Vancouver on
April 22.
Silk Hose
Gloves
Lingerie
Here at Sabas you
find all the new,
smart styles first
—and at the most
reasonable prices.
SILK SPECIALISTS
622-628 Granville St.
The Lord Will Provide
OFFICIAL
JEWELERS
to All
Greek Letter
Fraternities
HENRY
Birks
& SONS LTD.
VACATICN
SLGCESTICNS
ORIENT g2
Japan and return   $427
China and return  „ 496
Philippines and return 540
ROUND THE WORLD
Hometown to Hometown  _  ^_»  ....$830
All Water Route : 862
ROUND PACIFIC TOUR
Orient-Australia and Return  $748
Tourist
Class
$240
277
300
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560
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— TRAVEL BY PRESIDENT LINERS —
Utmost in comfort - All large outside twin bed rooms -
Fortnightly   service - Conducted   Tours   and   Cruises.
American Mail Line-Dollar Steamship Lines
465 Howe Street
Vancouver, B .C. r~
HAIL UBYSSEY
Bugs
CUT CAPTIONS—SPORT	
James Barddey is definitely no
great shakes as a referee. However,
he is according to all experts en the
subject, a very good basketball player. For a very nominal sum. so nominal that it is impossible to mention
what it is in the Ubyssey, it is possible to see this handsome and talented young man perform. Tonight
and tomorrow night he will lead the
student cagers when the clash with
Victoria Blue Ribbons in the Senior
A championship of the province.
When interviewed by the press today Mr. Bardsley said, "The only way
that Blue Ribbons can win is for me
to be off the floor."
All We Like Sheep
Hunk
Ralphy Panty-Waist Henderson is
the center on tne basketball team. He
is a good player also. The real reason
he got on the team however, is that
he is so darn good looking that the
league official insisted on him playing for Varsity so the league gate receipts would be high. Girls, you can
see him perform against the Blue
Ribbons. He will autograph any
books.
When interviewed by the press today Mr. Henderson said, "Varsity
can't lose unless I am greatly off
form."
Exams Are Coming
ZPLS JnouiA-a§
*UO OS pUB
sjanbueg
saijaej ssei3
^aaoi{ suoijauni
uoijenpeag anoX guuq }ou
XqAV - s^uapnjs ijiiav ae[n
-dod jsoui ain gj '[[B aajje
eiOJoafi pioq
«fc»HS 35iri 3Ai nv
NOTICE
"There will be an important
of  the  English   Rugby   Club.
cuss the policy regarding possi
tion to be taken  at  the forth
meeting of  the  B.  C.  Rugby
12:10 sharp, in Arts 104.
n^eting
to dis-
ble ae-
coming
Union.
Burp
The Lord Will Provide
Arthur Perceval Wilbur Hector
Willoughby is a member of the Senior A squad. He is a very good basketball player end you can see him
perform tonight an* tomorrow night
at  the  University  gym.
When interviewed by the press today Mr. Willoughby said, "I don't
see how Varsity can lose unless 1
get sick."
*    *    *
HAIL UBYSSEY
MEN'S EIG BLOCK CLUB
Eight ushers are needed for
Friday's and Saturday's basketball games between Varsity
and Victoria Blue Ribbons.
Volunteers please 'phone Paul
Kozoolin at Elliot 1274L after
6 pjn.
Note: Pr-sses will be distributed among the urhers only;
non-officiating lettermen will
be charged the regular admission.
*-
Exams Are Coming
Capital City
Exams Are Coming
First row left to right: Bill Wallis, Alex McKechnie, Doug
Peden. Second row, Johnny Craig, Chuck Chapman (Capt.),
mascot Master  Barnwell,  Red  Martin  and  George  Andrews.
lime Ribbon
s
c
Z Ih1-s418
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The Lord Will Provide
F.vaitH» Are Coming
All We like Sheep
ENGLISH   RUGBY    160 LB.
TEAM TO PLAY VICTORIA
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The Lord Will Provide
Fred Bolton deserves a good all-
day sucker for the way he has handled the job of being Men's Athletic
representative. Fred carried out his
election promises for inter-collegiate
sport and did all in his power to
place   this  University   on   the  sports
map. He has probably done more
.for University sport than 90 percent'
of the men who occupied the same
office.
THE   TEAM AH We Like Sheep
Third row: Joe Ross, J. A. Barney Barnwell, Mgr., and Art
Chapman.
The two Chapmans, Doug Peden and Red Martin are iron
men and usually play almost the full game without substitution.
The Blue Ribbons, who will meet Varsity tonight and tomorrow night in the first two games of the Senior A Championship of this province, are not by any means poor opponents for
the Varsity squad. The Victoria boys during the better part of
the past season have been playing their basketball games against
the American squads that played Varsity. Their record against
these opponents is more impressive than that of the students.
Just recently they defeated the Province team who had been
bolstered by the presence of Bob Osborne..
The games to be played here in Vancouver have to be
won by the local squad because the remainder are to be played
in Victoria on a strange floor. The students will nee a a two
game lead to hold the Blue Ribbons on their home stamping
ground. Tickets for the two games are going fast but there is
still some room for Varsity supporters. Treat yourself to the
best in local basketball circles and help the University team by
attending the two games.
HAIL UBYSSEY
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