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The 432 Sep 14, 1988

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SCIENCE   U.B.C.  NEWSPAPERS
Volume 2, Number 1
Parking.
by Derek K. Miller
As most of you may have discovered by
now, parking at UBC is in utter chaos.
That, of course, is normal, but the chaos
this year seems to be leaning further
towards total anarchy than usual, as I am
sure anyone who has to deal with B-lot
knows.
We seem to have become resigned to the
quarter-a-time parking arrangement in
B-lot, but the first week of the new school
year has brought about another problem:
the lack of enough B-lot to go around.
Yes, folks, B-lot is quite often full, all the
way to the gravel lots out near the edges
of the Earth, and frequently by 9:30 in
the morning. Why is this so?
First, TeleReg has somehow (although it
is "theoretically" impossible) over-
registered a lot of people, or so it seems,
since extra lab sections have had to be
created to accommodate all of the newcomers. These people are taking up parking space. Second, BC Transit has done
some injudicious fiddling with their service to UBC, including less frequently-
run trolley buses, "express" buses which
skip by those living near the University,
and rerouting of buses formerly destined
for UBC to SkyTrain, which doesn't head
out this way. Students are electing to
take their cars rather than face being late
because of too many full buses, especially since there is no UBC student discount
on fares.
What can we do about it? Not very much
except protest and make people aware
that things are getting worse. Maybe I'll
just start; walking from Burnaby.
Wednesday, September 14, 1988
Guess what happens if you CANT park in B-lot?
[>/HY    /OOlOGhlS   NIVtR    I AT    r>US\\\
The432
Page 1
September 14,1988 W e  I  c
B  a
o m  e
c k
by Derek K. Miller, 432
Editor
We need you. Yes you. We
don't care what kind,of
talent you have, be it mental, physical, telekinetic,
whatever. Now that you're
back to the grind of
school, slogging away at
those incredible piles of
homework assignments
and readings and other interminable items, it's time
for you to get involved in
something else.
Everyone registered as an
undergraduate in the
Faculty of Science is a
member of the Science
Undergraduate Society.
Everyone. Yes, you too. I
bet you wondered where
that five bucks went,
didn't you? The only way
you will get your money's
worth is if you get involved, be it in this
hewspaperr sports, in
council, clubs, special
events, or just beer gardens.
The 432 needs staff
desperately. We need
writers, co-editors,
typists, photographers,
artists, proofreaders,
layout people, desktop
publishers, distribution
people - everything that
goes with a newspaper, we
need. The first meeting of
the 432 staff, for both
present and prospective
members, will be on
Thursday,        September
O F
4 3 2
RST
TING
STAF
P
N
O
c
w
p
o
e
]~number ol ways: Intramural Sports is not
I primarily for the superhuman athlete;
anyone can participate. (I did.) Clubs
have beer gardens, and the SUS will be
putting on major social events all year,
including Lip Sync '88, follow-up to our
incredibly successful airband contest
last year, and Science Week. For info on
these and reams of other things to do besides study, come on down to the Science
office. Scarfe room 9. You won't regret it.
'S"M   i
R&mernher- p*r+icipecte U Tn-br*mural
Spor4s -tor SCIENCE andyou <je-"r"«l
KllB^iFgg*-""*
See Scarfe. room 1 for t*\ote.
Back to the grind again.
15th, at 12:30pm in the
Science office (that's
Scarfe room 9).
We need a Sports Coordinator. In fact, we need a
whole Sports Council, so
whether you're interested
in running the whole show
or just individual portions
of it, come down to the office. We'll hug you.
Promise.
The Science Senator and
AMS Representative positions are still open. Have
you ever wanted to feel
total power? Ever wanted
to observe the inner workings of the University first
hand? Ever wanted to
make oodles and oodles of
money in seconds? Well,
being Senator or AMS Rep
lets you do one of these
things. We also need an
Academics Coordinator.
Clubs are always eager for
new members, and there
are clubs for most departments in Science, ranging
from Biology to Atmospheric Sciences to
Chemistry to Physics to
Geology. And if your
department doesn't have a
club, you can start one! If
you want to find out more,
come down to the office.
Even if you don't want to
be in a position of power
where you have awesome
responsibilities at your
disposal, you can participate in Science in a
Loose Leaf
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September 14,1988
Page 2
The 432 The      UBC
Hierarchy
A Simple Interpretation      Walks on water that isn't
(Adapted   from   an   un- too choppy.
known source) Gets   interoffice   memos
from God.
Deartment Head
Leaps tall buildings in a
single bound.
Is more powerful than a
locomotive.
Is faster than a speeding
bullet.
Walks on water.
Speaks with God.
Professor
Leaps short buildings in a
single bound.
Is more powerful than a
switch engine.
Is   about  as   fast  as   a
speeding bullet.
Associate Professor
Leaps    short    buildings
with a running start.
Is almost as powerful as a
switch engine.
Is faster than a speeding
BB.
Walks on water providing
it is relatively frozen.
Is put on hold by God.
Assistant Professor
Can barely clear a temporary hut.
Is built like a locomotive.
Can fire a speeding bullet.
Swims well.
Talks with the Chaplain.
Lecturer
Walks around buildings
that get in the way.
Smokes a pipe that smells
like a locomotive.
Can sometimes handle a
gun without injuring himself.
Dog paddles.
Talks back to his horoscope.
Research Associate
Trips over doorsteps when
entering a building.
Recognizes  a locomotive
in most instances.
Is not issued ammunition.
Can stay afloat with a life
vest.
Mumbles to himself.
Graduate Student
Gets airsick in buildings
with thick rugs.
Says "look at the choo-
choo!"
Wets himself with a water
pistol.
Plays in mud puddles.
Talks in his sleep.
Undergraduate Student
Lifts buildings and walks
under them.
Kicks locomotives off the
track.
Catches   bullets   in   his
teeth and eats them.
Freezes    water   with    a
single glance.
Tells God where to go.
So   there   it   is.    Pretty
simple, right?
French Fries
by Ken Otter
The Pit. A place associated
with three things: grungi-
ness, loud music, and
cheap food. Yes, it is a
wonderful haven from our
otherwise chaotic University existence.
Primarily, though, the Pit
is truly famous for one
thing - French fries, fries
so big and fat and in such
huge quantities that it is
difficult to finish them.
The Pit remained a
Treasure Island in the
pitiful ocean of fast food
fries, for years gaining
notoriety as a place where
one can truly get a good
deal.
That is, it was until now.
Upon returning to classes
this fall, and having inadvertently forgotten my
lunch, I headed to the Pit
for lunch in UBC's
favourite retreat. You can
imagine my surprise when
I found my cardboard
plate full of fries that
looked as though they
were cut with a cheese
grater. Is nothing sacred?
Has commercialization of
fast food gotten to the Pit?
Where will it end? Will
portions get smaller and
prices higher? You may as
well get your fries at a
cafeteria; there is no difference any longer.
Change can be a wonder-
ful things but not in this
;-.^s
-15
8*     *.
.■**••
;.,4>,
■ .fi<*■%*; ;•■'..'■'
Well, here's the fish, but how about the chips?
SAVING
'...not just a coupon book, a
SAVINGS book.
saving sPNEEls divided in 4 sections, each has 2 for 1 and lots of special offers
that always save you money! Places pnd things we all enjoy - dailyl
• Food For All
Popular chains and favourite
neighbourhood restaurants
•Merchandise & Services
Clothes, shoes, car care, dry
cleaning, and more
• Fun Times
Movies, sports, recreation and travel
• Win a $25,000 Scholarship
saving spree  -   Like Money in the Bank   -
•Youth Savings
Great savings just for young people.
SAVING SPREE
m^Lm^Q
8®®@Q 2)
The 432
Page 3
September 14, 1988 Just Who Do We Think We Are?
UNDERGRAD
SOCIETY
;.-?
'.' \
<*: !„
Welcome to Hell
We Need
Space!
rhe Science Undergraduate Society
desperately needs office space for
the production of this newspaper;
there simply is not enough room in
Scarfe 9. If you have any or know
of any space available anywhere on
campus, please drop by or call us
at:
Scarfe 9
228-4235
by Derek K. Miller
The Science Council is the organizational body
of your undergraduate society. It decides what
events Science will put on, determines where
your student society fee is used, and coordinates
the activities of the various clubs and other organizations within the faculty. It consists of
many people, and this article is intended to give
you a brief introduction to the people who are in
the Council this year and what they do.
Todd Abiett - President
4th Year Life Sciences
Born: Kelowna, B.C.
Catherine       Rankel
Secretary
2nd Year Microbiology
Born: Toronto, Ont.
Julie Memory - 1st Vice Prez
3rd Year Biochemistry
Born: Saskatoon, Sask.
Claudio de los Rios - 2nd Vice Prez
4th Year Zoology
Born: Portugal (?)
Irene Dorocicz - Treasurer
3rd Year Physiology
Born: Nanaimo, B.C.
September 14,1988
Rose  Lai  -  Social  Coordinator
3rd Year Biopsychology
Born: Hong Kong
(Sorry, no pkofo?)
- Page 4 -
Ari Giligson - Publications
2nd Year Physiology
Born:  Vilnus,   Lithuania,
USSR
Tony Ambardar - Public
Relations
3rd Year Physics/Math
Born: Lusaka, Zambia
Ralph - Cartoon Character
2nd Year Honours Sleeping
Born: yes
The 432 <•   \       e s   ■• "■
An Intro to the SUS Counci
Other positions than
those in the Executive
also have an influence in
the Science Undergraduate Society. These
are voting Council positions and carry full
weight at meetings.
Trie Science Senator
(currently an open position) attends Senate
meetings, votes for
Science at them, and
reports back to the SUS.
If you are interested in
taking the position and
have a good general
knowledge of the operation of the University, see
us at Scarfe 9.
Department club representatives (usually club
presidents) and
departmental repre
sentatives relay information back and forth
between their organizations and SUS Council
and are among the most
important positions
around, for they determine how students relate
to clubs and departments, and thus to the
SUS and the University
as a whole. Your club and
department should send
a rep to each Thursday
1:30 Council meeting.
Year representative look
our for title interests of
their year- group and vote
at SUS meetings. There
are three reps each for
2nd, 3rd, and 4th year,
and two for 1st year. Elections are coming up in a
couple of weeks and any
nominations should be
filled out at the SUS office.
Ex-officio positions cannot vote but sit in on
Council meetings and
have input. These positions include the
Academics Coordinator,
Archivist, Blood Drive
Coordinator, Charity
Coordinator, Faculty
Rep, Intramural Men's
and Women's Sports
Reps, and Science Week
The Scarfe Education Building, Home of the SUS Office.
Coordinator, which are
currently vacant, and
Newspaper Editor and
Science Sales Manager,
positions filled, respectively, by me (Derek
Miller) and David Way.
If you are interested in
any of the vacant positions, have someone to
nominate, orjustwantto
get involved in some way,
pop by the office at Scarfe
room 9 and we'll be glad
to talk to you.
Our hope this year is to
make  Science  into  the
most  active  faculty  on
campus.    In    order   to
achieve this goal, there
must be interaction be
tween students and their
departmental clubs, th(
clubs and SUS Council
and    Council   and   th(
AMS,   Board   of Gover
nors, and Senate. Then
are zillions (well, give oi
take) of things to do, al
least     one     of    which
everyone  will  find  fun
Sports,        publications
Science Week, clubs, beei
gardens - you name it, we
have it. Your department
probably   has   a   club
which you can join, and if
it doesn't you can help to
start one. Get involved
You won't regret it.
Do The Town
At Half Price
SAVE 50% ON DINING,
MOVIES, SPORTS, TRAVEL
&MORE
ENTERTAINMENT® books work as
hard to save you money as
you do to earn it. With this
wonderful book of 50%
discounts you can save on
almost everything—all year.
Only $40.00
For more information call:
SCARFE? 223-^235'
o#ifeunmi!Hfc
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIHIIMIIIIIIigilltfHMIIIIIIIIIIIIlii
First Year
flGr J%14fth ip% jMh 4*k
► 0«^ta?oi3a: v8UE$Hy l&ckct bcfoi^ ttie lineups
f^tw&U&u body will* wyu?kaCber stoves
$&#$&&ol $&§& on now at Searis 9.
i
The 432
- Page 5
September 14,1988 Lip Sync '88 is the successor to the immensely
popular Lip Sync '87 air
band contest put on by the
Science Undergraduate
Society last year. This year
it takes place on November 10th and promises to
be an even bigger and
more successful event. We
are publicizing it now so
that you people can get
your teams ready and so
that everyone can write
the date in their little daily
minder books in order to
keep it free of other nasty
commitments, such as
classes.
Booked for the SUB
Ballroom, this year's Lip
Sync will be run in conjunction with AMS Concerts and will be followed
by a dance. In order to
facilitate the addition of
air bands to the roster and
to allow each air band to
perform more than once,
the time for the air band
portion of the evening has
been expanded. Not only
that, but practice time has
been alloted during the
afternoon, and we will be
using the Ballroom stage
for a clear view.
Tickets will be available
soon in the SUS office and
from the AMS, and details
will be forthcoming. There
will be an entry fee for
bands and substantial
cash prizes will be won by
the best teams. So start
getting organized! Songs
should be short (less than
five minutes - this means
no renditions of "In a
Gadda da Vida" or
"Tubular Bells"), and
entries creative. Judging
will be based on
originality, effort, and lip
syncing ability.
Entries are not limited to
Science students, so get
your friends from both on
and off campus to participate. Last year's event
was the highlight of fall
term, and is Science's only
big party before Science
Week. Watch for more information in the next few
weeks here and in poster
form. If you're not there,
you won't be anywhere.
SCIENCE
UBC
Last year. Science won
both Men*& and
Women*s Intramural
Sports*
* v*& meed. An nver&ti Sports Coaf^fnator
DepariromUt spori5f«$)&
Team captains
♦ Come to Bern & 9 fm mc« »infonu&tfon
m& 4niiii0\\\ «*> %w* t An \\m <*gaiii
C LUBS
In order to receive your club
grant ($1 per student in your
department) you MUST send
a representative to SUS
Council and Sports meetings. The next Council meeting is Thursday, September
15, 1988, at 1:30pm in the
Dean of Science conference
room (next to the office). The
following one will be one
week later, probably in the
same location.
Clubs Days are running September 21 -23, and we will be
having a Science section in
order to make your club
easier to find. Contact us at
the SUS Office (Scarfe 9,
228-4235) if you want to
have a table.
The 432 is published biweekly by the Science Undergraduate Society, located in room 9 of the Scarfe
Education Building, 2125 Main Mall, at the University of British Columbia, Vancouver, B.C. V6T 1W5.
Our telephone number is (604) 228-4235.
©1988 SUS Publications
\olume 2, Number 1, published Wed., Sept. 14, 1988
I ditor: Derek K. Miller
Artist: Ken Otter
( ontributors: Derek K. Miller, Ken Otter, David Way
I hotographers: Barry Shanko, Gwen Burton, Eric
Walker, 1987-88 photo contest entrants
Ivping,   Layout,   Council   Photography,   Computer
Operation, Drawing, Photocopying, Weeping, Wailing,
uid Gratuitous Gnashing of Teeth: Derek K. Miller
I rinted by College Printers Ltd.
We really need staff, folks. The first meeting is on
I hursday, petOuer 15th at 12:30pm. Please be there.
Sept.
September 14,1988
Page 6
The 432 MANAGER:
DAVID WAY
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£
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£
*
JACKETS
WINDBREAKERS
BLUE AND WHITE NYLON SHELL
PULLOVER STYLE with hood
TEAM JACKETS
NYLON/POLY SHEIX with LINING
VARSITY JACKETS
WHITE LEATHER SLEAVES WITH
BLUE MELTON BODY
REG
$40
SALE
$35
$65
$140
$49
$119
NEW THIS YEAR
VARSITY JACKETS CAN BE ORDER
WITH DEPARTMENT NAME ON BACK
SCIENCE CARDIGANS <*■**•"**>
AVAILABLE FOR   $40
Homecoming      Week
THE UBC SPIRIT IS COMING HOME
Homecoming 88 Schedule of Events
Saturday, October 1 :AMS Executive reunion luncheon
Homecoming football game and
tailgate party 2:00pm
(Thunderbird Stadium)
Monday, October 3:Homecoming parade   12:30-1:30
(On campus)
Meet the Brass 4:30-6:30
(SUB Plaza North)
AMS Art Gallery Opening
(40th anniversary) 7:00-9:00
Pit Bash  10:00pm
(The Pit)
Tuesday, October 4:Just Desserts 7:30pm
(Cecil Green Park)
Wednesday, October 5:Decorate your Building
(Around campus)  12:30pm
AMS Council Meeting 6:30pm
(Cecil Green Park)
Thursday, October 6:Arts 20  12:30pm
Arts Festival  12:30-4:30
(SUB Partyroom)
Great Trekker Dinner 7:00pm
(SUB Ballroom)
Friday, October 7:Oktoberfest 8:00pm
(SUB Ballroom)
October 3-7:Scavenger Hunt
The 432
- Page 7
September 14,1988 Science
Week
0******
fytA*.
iM°NDAY
JANUARY 23-27,1389
Jfhday
2?
23
Science Blues
Day - wear
t   your   Science
blues.
TUESDAY
WEDNESDAY
24
Chemistry
Magic  Show
f THURSDAY
25
Computer
Scvier.ce
Car Rally
26
Physsoc
< Paper Airplane
: Con-test
£—TZ£otrtl Anun PjU^jU. *k SVB
Departroerrtal
Tricycle
Race
SCIENCE WEEK
BASH!
*<:*..
Sports
As we don't yet have a Sports Coordinator, our Sports
column this week is limited to deadlines and details
on upcoming events. Again, if you are interested in
any way in participating in Intramural Sports,
whether as a coordinator, council member, or participant, contact us at Scarfe 9, 228-4235.
Sept. 14: Reg for Broomball Bash
16: Inaugural Road Run
17: Softball Tourney
18: Cycle Hill Climb
19: Reg for Basket & Volleyball
20: Reg for 3 on 3 Basketball
21: Reg for ARTS 20 RELAY
24: Logan Cycle
25: Logan Cycle
30: University Gates Run
Remember: participating for Science earns you
bonuses such as partial fee refunds, patches, etc. We
won men's and women's intramurals last year, were
the most improved in both categories, and won best
women's sports rep. We can and will do it again.
Science holds the power!
The Deadline for the
next issue of
The 432
IS
Wednesday
Sept.      21-
at
4pm
Submissions to Scarfe 9
September 14,1988
Page 8 -
The 432

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