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Ethel Johns (4)- Rockefeller Unit (1925-1929) Johns, Ethel 1929

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 Rockefeller Unit   -1-   One morning when I was busily engaged in correcting papers, the telephone    rang and I was told  Mr Edwin R. Embree, director of the    department of special studies of the Rockefeller Foundation who happened to be passing through Vancouver    during a visit to some schools of nursing on the Pacific toast would like to have a talk with me. The very name of the fabulous Foundation was enough touch off some wild speculations as to whether  there was any chance any financial assistance, for the department but   certainly Mr Embree was interested for he asked some searching questions about its general content and organization. Although my rather naive enthusiasm evidently amused him he showed no more than a kindly and casual interest in any plans for future development, but put some rather searching questions regarding the difficulties that had been encountered during 1 the initial stages,    especially in relation to fieldwork for public health nursing students. When the interview was over I felt rather let down -- if only he would have let me tell him about   what might be done if a Rockefeller grant were available. The months went by and I had almost forgotten about the Foundation when in the morning   mail there was a letter from Mr Embree, He wanted to know whether I should    like to become a member of the staff of  SEE ATTACHED SHEETS FOR QUOTES FROM "STORY OF RF" Quotes from BF STORY      P 56 Interest in nursing goes as far back as 1914 when china medical board    began work in training of nurses. "The F's work in this field has been developed ender   the stimulating leadership of three able nurses: F. Elizabeth Crowell, Mary Beard and   Mary Elizabeth Tennant. "   P 135 Edwin R. Embree "a division of Studies had been   created under ERE to which were assigned several miscellaneous interests, including the training of nurses." RF at this time placed major emphasis on public health and medical education. (EJ comment: nursing was a sideline but nevertheless indispensable.)   105   Richard M. Pearce, qhd Gregg, Alan Gregg, Also on this page reference to Gregg as Pearce's assistant.   P. 100: Mehary Medical School   P 39 Hungary and on previous page outline of county health organization. Idea started in U.S.A. under Dr Wickliffe Rose and spread as a general sort of pattern. Hence need for p.h. nurses. IMPORTANT AS INTERPRETATION OF EJ JOB   P, 109 reference to University College Hosapital: tremendous gifts: including a new   home for nurses," and extension of hospital plant. London hospital also got grant P. 113 Lyon: "More than a million and a half dollars to medical school (round 1925)   EJ note: all medical development or nearly --a nursing incidental but indispensable.   P 113 Brussels Aid given there was to end up as a school of nursing.   EJ saw only the beginning. Rockefeller Unit cont'd   Trace fellowships: beginning 101   Emergency Program in Europe (sub-heading as used) "Working yourself out of a job." P.118 Pearce worried by "routine details of the emergency aid we are now giving," This came to an end in 1926, but actually much of the same work went on after that   date. Aim from then on not a salvaging situation but "constructive and forward-looking plans." But fellowship and travel grants did not stop.   P.231. Cites names of distinguished men who have held scholarship at earlier period in career   p.266   "award of fellowships on an international basis had consequences that cannot be easily   measured. A fellowship is in one sense an uncontrolled experiment.   EJ note. Nurses fortunate to benefit from fell. As a rule, they were granted only to   persons much more highly academically qualified. Miscellaneous.   P.280_   Vincent an important influence in building the tradition of universality, In medical education, Pearce "was endowed with a planetary consciousness, and thought instinctively in global terms. "He believed profoundly that medicine could be employed to weave a pattern of unity into the society of mankind."   Vincent : It is not American medicine or American public health measures that the Found. is trying to introduce to the world. No country has a monoply of excellence. EJ: Fellows not all sent to USA though that was where they wanted to go. Sent where they could get what they needed. English and Americans sometimes didn't like it. Aspects of obtaining experience for fellows Factors in choice of field: nature of responsibility and and scope of work   Group A   1. Usually fellow was to be specifically prepared for a specific job: this might be and frequently was that of instructor in school in which RP was interested. Also might be for experience in some special field of public health. But always the field had to be   chosen within fairly narrow boundaries. Group B.   2. Exceptions: when fellow is to take over a more important job such as that of heading   up a national public health service. Then broader opportunities were afforded. Perhaps travel in several countries. These women presented no special problem . It was far harder to arrange for Group A. since they were usually placed. it a single institution and were expected as it were to learn on the job.   Factor 2 Language   Language was the first hurdle which had to be overcome. Usually this meant that the fellow must have a working knowledge either of English, French or German, in addition   to her native tongue. It was surprising to find how quickly this was overcome except of course when the aspirant happened to be English���speaking in the first place.   Factor 3 Environment Possible fields   1. United States this was naturally the first choice of almost every fellow. The actual place where experience was to be given was chosen very carefully in the USA. Experience in newly established services in public health were chosen rather than placing fellows in   i e. : deep south,    glittering metropolitan centres. This usually came as a bit of a shock and rather   disappointment although they admitted that they learned more than would have been the   case if they had been assigned to a highly developed service. Attitude toward f's cordial   2. Canada proved to be quite rewarding. The general set���up was sufficiently like the USA and yet everything was on a simpler scale. There was less money and therefore economy of means was constantly kept in mind, Attitude here was also cordial. especially in U of T. S. of N. and in T. G. H. S of N. Unfortunately (I thought) F's were not sent to western points in Canada -2   In US and Canada heads of institutions to which fs were assigned had usually been given travelling scholarships to the countries from which f's were to be drawn. This made everything much easier,      European facilities:   Language conditioned choice to some extent, for German���speaking, Vienna was the natural choice and especially the Pirquet service at the Kinderklinik. The man himself made the opportunity worth seeking, More than any other physician whom I encountered during years, abroad, he seemed to understand and respect the value of nurses and nursing, He   would find time to speak for the humblest of the young nurses who were sent for instruction and the members of his nursing staff were equally helpful, however, the hours were long and the work very hard. Some of the Balkan students found it heavy going, A truly   Spartan regime.      Keeling���upmorale      One of mt principal tasks was trying to persuade Fs to stay the course. My duty to visit   periodically and act as guide, philosopher and friend, Seemed sometimes as though my troubles were greater in England than anywhere else, Perhaps best illustrated by a letter received from the directrice of a French school who had been persuaded to undertake   six months in England and who had been bitterly disappointed becase she had expected to go t   to the USA, She began by telling me that she had been assured that she would be given an opportunity of observing introductory course given to probationers, Matron has decided   that the best way of doing this is to take the course myself. For the last two weeks   I have been polishing various copper untensils and not consider myself    proficient and ready perhaps to undertake duties of a more professional character, The   glacial cold of an English winter is not mitigated by central heating. A diet of boiled mutton immersed in a dreadful white sauce containing mysterious green pellets   Vegetables are invariably boiled -- grey potatoes and greenish brussels sprouts, Six months of such an existence would be insupportable and it would perhaps be better for me to return to France without further delay. A swift rescue was in order. NB: rewrite to show that threat of return contained no explanation but that complaints were only brought into the open after a good French meal in which she did the ordering, -3   There was a happy ending after all. Matron was persuaded to mitigate the preparatory course   and to allow observation (with some sharing) in night duty. "Steady, nurse, steady."   even in the night". "Nursing in England is not intelligent but it is very kind."    If the good God asked me how He should make a nurse I should tell him etc,   Possible reference to school at Lyon?      Special difficulties in handling members of religious orders:      Permission could sometimes be given for them to live in nurses' residence. But sometimes necessary to find convents willing to take them as boarders. One occasion necessary to   find confessor who spoke Polish. Finally discovered a clerical authority who was doing special study at Oxford was willing to visit whenever he happened to be in London.      Diversion for the nuns, A visit to the Tomb of the Unknown soldier. -- and to    Westminster Cathedral. A journey to the Lisieux, the shrine of Ste Therese de l"Enfant Jesus.   Expenses for minor jaunts provided for by modest allowance.      USA and English visiting fellows : rather delicate relationship but in the end usually led to excellent results.      Handling fellows: always difficult since language difficulties prevented frank discussion. Fellows were always diffident about explaining that a particular experience meant little to them because it was not applicable to conditions in their own country. Very sensitive to criticism. Disappointed because they were sometimes not given a chance to talk about what had been accomplished by their own people under great difficulties.      Great benefits obtained in spite of all petty irritations and drawbacks. Interest stimulated in ICN  led to strengthening of existing organisations. Marked interest shown by governmental authorities in bringing schools up to standards recommended so as to insure membership in the ICN.      Apropos of ICN. mention interim conference in Geneva. Mrs BF and her hats. "I'm afraid the English have missed the bus." -4-   Attitudes of fellows: add note that similar complaints are still made especially by students from so���called backward countries. Points up wisdom of RF policy in making their field staff actually live and work in the actual environment from which fellows were drawn.   There was not a single country in which I did not learn a great deal, sometimes work was carried on without adequate money or equipment and yet the skill and scientific knowledge compensated. Rockefeller Unit con'd   NEGRO SCHOOLS OF NURSING   When I reported for duty at the NY offices of the Foundation, it was rather a shock to learn that I was not to leave for Paris as I had expected but was first to undertake another task, -- one for which I feet myself woefully unprepared. Mr Embree wanted to obtain some idea of the situation in schools for negro nurses and I was told to visit a   number of them and to give an account of what found, "But I am not an American and I don't know anything about the Negro question", I said, "That is precisely why you are going to do this job." said Mr Embree with a smile,"You are not expected to make any recommendations -- "just describe what you see and don't get too emotional about it."   I had never visited the South before and the landscape enchanted me. -- the red   soil, the winding rivers, the giant live oaks, the Spanish moss,axx the fields of cotton and sugar cane.   More, even, than the landscape, the white people delighted me. Their soft voices, their irresistible charm. Schools visited fell into two categories, those attached to hospitals where the school for whites was also operated and the others which operated and directed under Negro direction, yet   Even after a lapse of years, it is not yet possible to write dispassionately about what I heard and saw. Comment must be restricted to general impressions, Segregation   1. Broadly speaking, the educational opportunities available to colored students were far inferior to those in the white schools.    2. In the deep south, living conditions also inferior   3. Although steps were being taken to obtain membership in ANA for colored nurses, it had not at that time been granted to them   4. In some instances they might attend meetings but were seated apart.      Attitude of white nurses: 1. Friendly and helpful   2. Aware of value of work, especially in public health field.   3. All sorts of subtle kindly devices that made the social distinction less galling. Nego Unit, (cont'd.)   Attitudeof Negro nurses   1. Amazingly patient and tolerant. Sense of humor helped.   2. Difficult to attract the better educated women because nursing was regarded as a glorified type of the domestic service they were determined to escape from.   3. Adroit at bridging over awkwardness in social relations : Would apologize for the necessity of serving my meals on a tray and would sit beside me while I ate and keep up a pleasant conversation. (This troubled LT more than anything else.)   4, EJ struck by their excellence as rural public health nurses. Displayed great insight and resourcefulness where white nurses would have been at a loss.      Attitudes in the North:   1. Tensions much greater, Frustration on part of well educated nursing group severe.      What EJ learned:   If you want to understand a little about the whole business, six weeks on a job in the South will teach you more about the intangible factors than you are likely to find in books.   Vivid impressions left by visits to Hampton Institute, to Tuskegee, to Howard and Fiske,   Pearce 's idea that medicine could be employed to weave a pattern of unity   into the society of mankind. European Unit -1-   1. The first few weeks were spent in being briefed in the work being carried on in various areas where nursing service was required.   2. Also study of various institutions and agencies which might be used for fieldwork.   3. Criteria by which fellows might be selected.   4. Concurrent with visits to various Paris set���ups used for fieldwork This gave a chance Study of the French tongue : The French tutor.: Mademliselle, I entreat you,   never mind the subjunctive,    forget the syntax you quite simply, listen to me, There are two rules       I must ask you to obey, begin to talk as though you were a very small child. and   remember that when you speak French, you must sing. Fortunately I had acquired      a fairly good vocabulary before I left Canada armed with a dictionary, I read everything I could lay my hands on. It was the liaison that tripped me up at every turn,      Paris itself      I had found an attic room in a French residential club and had the advantage   of hearing good French spoken.      Every morning and evening when the weather was fine I walked home from the office across the Place de la Concorde and over the bridge to the rue de Bellechasse, on the Left Bank. French food and wine. I went to the Opera, to the   Comedie Francaise. The pageant of Paris from the little river steamers which ducked their funnels as they went under the bridges.      A different Paris not seen by tourists accompanying French visiting nurses on   their rounds. The vast hospitals of the Assistance Publique. Clinics for babies and tbc, Homesickness so devastating that I dared not look at the sailing lists in the American express. (Did not realize it at the time, but this was to be a useful experience in   dealing with fellows later.) Exhibit of Group of Seven at Orangerie   The French character: ENGLISH UNIT.  . -1-Just as I was getting accustomed to working in a French environment, I learned that a similar adjustment must be made to the English nursing seene I was to go to London to study tho opportunies for fieldwork that might be vaailable for foreign students, When this joyful prospect was mentioned to an American member of the foundation staff he advised me not to count on enjoying it very much, "But I was born   and brought up there", I protested ,'"-We speak the same language," "That's just the   trouble", he said, "you think you do but you don't, All you share is a common tongue.   You don't really understand what is in their minds. They don't show it because you are really not one of them. I'm an American but I know how hard it is to break through, Go easy and don't take anything for granted."    Although this good advice did not sink in at the time it came home to me rather forcibly before I had spent many days in my native land. In breezy Canadian style, I began by making telephone calls asking for appointments with various directors of nursing services and was politely told that Matron would be consulted and would call in a day or two. Nothing happened and I got a little desperate and tried more a more formal by letter. This worked better but as my routine report to the   Paris office dolefully admitted in, England no one seemed to be able to see you earlier than a week   next Tuesday, and weren't particularly anxious to see you even then, My   American mentor must have smiled when he read that report,   At last the barrier was lifted and I was invited to visit the various training schools where from time to time to which nursing fellows had been admitted for special fieldwork. It had already dawned upon me that the English did not take kindly to foreigners and it was surprising to learn that the Foundation fellows were rather a problem. #NAME? Hungarian Unit -1-      A few days after I returned to Paris I was told to prepare for my first real assignment. A crisis had arisen in one of the Hungarian schools in which the RF was interested and it   was necessary for someone to take charge while the necessary adjustments were being made, I was to go first to Budapest and would be given my instructions by the   director of the Institute of Hygiene in that city, and by the medical representative of the RP.      I was briefed on the political at that time still unstable      The school in question was a small one attached to the medical faculty in the University   of Debrecen, a large market town not far from the (at that time explosive) Roumanian frontier, on the great   Hungarian plain, the puzta. This town was the centre of a Protestant culture that stemmed   from John Huss -- and had certain characteristics which were in contrast with the prevailing Catholic majority.   The hospital buildings were modern and well equipped. The various services were headed up by distinguished medical men. Until recently there had been no school of nursing   and the service was given by graduates and auxiliaries.      The primary aim was not to provide hospital personnel but to train public health nurses   for work in the rural field. It was, of course, necessary to provide instruction in primary nursing procedure.      Class of pupils had already been assembled when the administrative crisis arose but   organized classwork had not begun although a director had been appointed,      Director was a Hungarian countess who had had some training with the Red Cross but had had no experience whatever in the teaching field.      My functions:      To get the course started and to pinch hit until Hungarian staff could be found,      To say that I was dismayed was to put it mildly. However, I was assured that the ordeal   would not last long since the RF was quite unwilling to allow ant member of its staff to   to be loaned for any length of time. My orders were to work myself out of a job as quickly as I could. Hungarian unit contd.   -2-   The long day's journey over the puzta made me very homesick, It was possible to look   out over the plain and to imagine that I was travelling over the Canadian prairie on a pleasant autumn day in a familiar landscape, Yet there was a subtle differences This was not virgin territory. It had been tilled for hundreds of years, The farm   buildings built around a central court and some of them thickly thatched were not familiar, Flocks of sheep, convoyed by dogs, clustered about the figure of the shepherd wrapped in   his sheepskin coat richly embroidered. The well sweeps at least were familiar, The    long-horned white cattle,   The University buildings were situated on the edge of town, near a carefully tended   forest area.   On arrival, I was conducted to the apartment of the directrice, a tall distinguished woman with a melancholy beauty. She spoke very little English but was fluent in French and. German so we managed to understand one another fairly well. She was sure that I would be glad to hear that Maria Testver would be vert helpful me, She spoke English very well indeed and   had greatly profited by her experience in England. Her maid was despatched to summon MT and in a moment "the sick crow" appeared in the doorway, dressed in   the uniform of the ph. nursing service, a soft green dress and white kerchief veil.  Her dark eyes met mine and I realized that the poor girl was terrified. Having    escaped from the uncongenial English environment she was now confronted with yet another type of English matron clothed with the authority of   an all-powerful American Foundation,      The next morning, Maria Testver showed me the resources of the Teaching department and   introduced me to the students. Most of them came from the families of what was then known in Hungary as "the little gentry" -- owners of the smaller estates, a group which    included the various professions. For the most part, these girls were better educated than those in Canadian schools. Nearly all of them had a good command of at least two languages other than their own. They knew far more about art and music. I wondered what they   were doing in an occupation which which was not highly regarded by the  social class to which they belonged. Hungarian Unit cont'd -3-   None of them had ever done much domestic work and were therefor unprepared to undertake bedmaking , dusting and cleaning. It was apparent that Maria Testver would have liked to follow   the pattern of instruction she had observed in London including the making of a hospital   bed. This procedure involved certain complications since the Hungarian hospital mattress, like   ancient Gaul, was divided into three parts. She was relieved when I suggested that we should go over the lesson plans together and arrive at some sort of compromise. If it had not been for this girl little could have been done with the group. From the moment she was given her head, she got the simple preparatory course going almost without a hitch. By the end of the month they were ready to put on a demonstration of what they had learned for the benefit of the directrice and for two of the doctors who had given lectures. That evening, there was a timid knock at my bedroom door and Maria Testver asked whether she could speak to me for a moment.    When you go to London again you will see the Sister in charge of the ward where I was so unhappy?" I said that I probably would, "One day when I was homesick I heard her say   it was a pity to waste Mr Rockefeller's money on on a crybaby   like me. Please will you tell her what we did today in my own country and that    you think Mr Rockefeller has perhaps not wasted his money. I promised her that I would   and I did. Sister took it very well.   A word should be said about the role of the directrice. I had been given a hint in Budapest headquarters that if any disciplinary questions arose it would be well to refer them to her rather than to attempt to deal with them myself. The same advice applied to any dealings with the authorities of the medical school and with the head nurses in the various hospital services. She would first listen to my tale of woe and then exert her powers of persuasion. There was something about this woman that overcame resistance.   She would fix her great melancholy eyes on the offender and appeal to her better nature . Hungarian Unit  cent 'd   The gentle persuasive voice administered admonition and rebuke but there was a subtle   flattery that undermined all resistance,   NB  Use this later   Gradually I fell under the spell of the Hungarian legend -- the plaque with the defiant motto NEM, NEM, SOHA [no, no, never] that one encountered at every entrance, house, shop, public building   never failed to catch my eye. (Insert after description of laying of wreath.)   Debrecen was within a few miles of the disputed Roumanian border and at the edge of   Nagy Erdo forest was the headquarters of the frontier military patrol. Food was none too plentiful and meals at the school were far from from copious. The cabbage is a noble vegetable  but when combined with lard and caraway seeds a little hard to get down. Fortunately, the coarse black bread was excellent but how one longed for a bit more butter. On Saturday afternoons I walked into the town and had a feast at a restaurant washed down by successive cups of hot sweet Trukish coffee,   On one of these occasions, I encountered a   military parade preceded by a band. The drums were carried by a fat little pony   and followed by a group of high school students   dressed in gymnasium suits. Two of them carried a large wreath. They headed for the statue of the Hungarian Unknown Soldier that stood in a small park and formed a circle about it.   The commanding officer stepped forward, spoke briefly and then awarded prizes that had evidently been won in some athletic contest. When he had finished, the band played the national anthem and then the two boys laid the wreath at the base of the statue. There was a moment of silence and then with a roll of drums, the shout went up -- Nem, nem, soha, I waited until the crowd had dispersed and then went over to inspect the wreath. On the purple    ribbon which encircled it was the one word. Versailles, -- the treaty which had taken from Hungary so much of its territory and its national pride.      INSERT NOTE RE NEM NEM SOHA      Before very long it appeared that I had. "worked myself out of a job" and that the Countess and Maria Testver were about ready to carry on under their own steam, I   was recalled to head office. The experience had been useful if at times rather  painful. What had I learned? The most valuable lesson of all --- how it feels to be a fellow Not to understand the language and therefore to suspect that much is being said -5-   that is not complimentary to you. The dislike of accepting the authority of an "outside" agency, even so benevolent as that of the RF. The fear of losing much needed help. Occasionally, the insincere flattery or the pressure, political or otherwise, of    dignitaries on the make. The subtleties of Middle Europe too much for a naive Canadian.   The farewell supper: RF financed. Purchase of supplies -- especially the strange and wonderful salami most of which appeared to me to be in an advanced stage of decomposition. The magnificent cake. he absence of the cabbage except as a wrapping for a delectable   meat roll. The bottle of Tokay which had NOT been paid for by Mr R. but subscribed for by the students and nursing staff. The musical cook and the recitation of "Cargoes" It must have been the Tokay. Roumanian Unit -1-POSSIBLE CONTENT         1. Arrival: the snowstorm : the Nightingale caleche. the dressing case   2. Difference in political climate   3. Northern Roumania as compared with southern. formerly Hungarian territory, 4. The general nursing set-up. The personalities. Pertia  in contrast to the countess. Public health background.   5. The university and the medical school. the opera house.   6. the landscape: lengths of homespun lin n pat out to bleach. Blue of Carpathians. 7. Go to Bucharest quietly.   8. The Palace.   9. The return: the American and God's country      Change of scene:      I crossed the Roumanian border at a point only a few miles east of Debrecen but somehow the terrain seemed different. The level puzta came to an end. Here the train travelled through a valley overshadowed by the Carpathians. The frontier guards wore hats adorned   with a long pleasant feather and had the air of victory about them. This countryside had, however, been Hungarian territory so lately that the farming population still were not Roumanian at heart.   The situation in the capital of Transylvania, Cluj, once Kolaszzvar, was quite different. But as I was to find out later, the atmosphere and general culture was very different than   that which prevailed in the southern part of the country and especially in Bucharest itself.    In Transylvania the Austrian influence was still strong. There was a good university The professors looked toward Vienna as well as to Paris.   and an excellent medical school. There was also an opera house.      The school of nursing was well established and the director was the widow of an Army surgeon who had died of typhus during the war. The students were more stable and better disciplined. Rural public health nursing had made a beginning. Delightful opportunity of visiting some of the tillages. The rural wedding.      Work here was largely confined to selecting candidates ror fellowships. While preparing to return word came from the Paris office that I was to go to Bucharest and take a brief #NAME? -3-   concerning the etiquette which governed such occasions I threw myself on his mercy and    asked he what would be expected of me, I was told that the conference would last about    half-an-hour but would be quite informal and that the Pricess would    let me know when it had come to an end. It was not usual for a guest to ask any questions or to initiate a new topic of conversation. I fervently promised to   refrain from either. I was then escorted up a red-carpeted staircase which led to a drawing room   gay with chintz-covered furniture and bowls of flowers. The Princess rose and came forward and in a few minutes I felt less by and awkward and ready to answer the    questions she put to me. As a girl, she had gone to school in England and it was easy to see   that the English way of life still appealed to her. While I was describing the progress being made in the Cluj University School of nursing there was a commotion at the door King Michael and her little son appeared carrying a tray covered with little animals which he had modelled in plasticene, This he set down on a table for inspection and then    gravely advanced to shake hands, before he was led away by his English nanny.    The prescribed half-hour had slipped by and I uneasily began to wonder whether I had    missed, the cue for my departure. Apparently, l hadn't for Princess Helene still wanted    to know more about possible opportunities for obtaining travelling scholarships for    Roumanian nurses. When told that her request would be submitted to the authorities at the    Paris office it was clear that the interview had come to an end. As I reached the door    I turned to make my bow. She was standing beside a table looking down at a bowl of flowers.   The slight figure in the beautifully simple dress was a model of elegance, her only    ornament a necklace of pearls. End of European phase   In 1929 the European adventure drew to a close. The RF program was entering upon a new phase in which the sort of work that I had been doing   would no longer be necessary. There was also the possibility that a task which appealed greatly to me might be available. Before I left however I had an opportunity of visiting the various projects with which I had been associated and to assess what had been accomplished, what the failures had been.   Most of the time had been spent in Hungary and it was there that my roots had gone the deepest. Things were going well in Debrecen and in Budapest a good start had been made in organizing a national public health nursing service. A few Hungarian friends wanted to    give a farewell party for me and I felt as though I couldn't face up to it. One of the more    discerning said to the others "Perhaps she would rather cry with the gypsies," as frequently    happened it was neccesary to come to B. for a few days.   When I came to Budapest to report I avoided the garish tourist hotels and stayed at    The Hunting Horn, a comfortable place built round a small open patio where there was good Hungarian food and a small excellent Zgigane gypsy orchestra. I got to know the head waiter. Nearly always I was given a little table in a corner, where I    could enjoy the music.   It used to be considered quite natural in Hungary if your spirits were low to seek a retreat of this kind and to shed a quiet tear or two. Nobody noticed you or intruded. And that is the way that I said goodbye to Hungary.      Apart from the professional experience -- so deep and satisfying in spite of its loneliness and frustration what had I gained: some unforgettable memories. Venice on a summer night when there were many gondolas and few motor launches.   The visit to the island sanitarium. The tall cypresses. he long ward and its salute the thin arms . The funeral by gondola. The priest standing in the bow holding the crucifix. (European phase) end of -2-Reasons for back home cont.   1. Fear of becoming so fascinated by European way of life that I could not adjust to conditions at home.   2. Had seen something of those unhappy wanderers in their later years who could not tear themselves away and yet who had no real roots.

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