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Michel Reporter Aug 21, 1909

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 VOL. 1.
Hotel Michel
T. Crahan,     %    i    •
The Largest., Most Modem
and Best Equipped ln the Pass,
MJcJiel, & British Colombia
C*~    " !*—JJUW!lf
A Saf*?, .Pleasant and. Effective Remedy
For Rela3fe4 Condition,.o£ the. Rowels
In various;* Idnds (tf S^n"i^er..C^rnBlaints, sue!} as,
Men'st   Silk   Four-in-Hj-inds
In a wide range of newest patterns
Worth 75 ots.   Clearing at      .45
A Consignment ot Hand Painted Chinaivarc, consisting oi
Salad and berry dishes, plates, cups
and saucers, salad bowls, etc.
20 dozen tumblers,  assorted, in very noat designs, extra
quality, at $1.00 a dozen
Water Sets, and Cufe Gtass Nappies.     A very, fine assortment of vases
in Pictures we have Landscapes,  Fruit (\nd Uami,> Subjects ajid Pastorals
Jewelers and Opticians
New cMkhel, B. C,
imperial Bank of Canada
Head Office: TORONTO
Capital Authorized $10,000,000.
Capital Paid up $5,000,000, . Rest $5,0Q0,000
Savings Bank Department,
Interest allowed on Deposits at Current Rate
from Date of Deposit,
Drafts, Money Orders and Letters of Credit issued, available
in apy part of the World.
MICHEL BRANCH,        '       T. B. BAKER, Manage*.
41  Meat market Ltd 41
High-class Butchers
New Michel
All moatfreRh killed----Prime Beef, Pork, and Mutton
Dairy Butter.    Mild-cured Hams and Bacon—Fish
in Season
The Store Whore Tliey Send What You   Ordor
2     Deliveries   Daily     2
Buy Government Inspected
The meats you buy from us all bear .the Blue Label
which stands for good quality
Give as a trial order, and prove that our meats are the best
P. Burns & Co. Ltd.
Of our Stock-Clearing Sale
Another week of Bargains,   More and—if possible—-better values th
before.   Selling goods at theprices we have marked is like
felting You with  Dollar  pills
A Big Half-Dollars Worth
Children's Dresses, Pinafores, Blouses, Flannelette
Night Gowns, Etc., Women's White and'"Colored Aprons,
White Cambric Blouses, worth up to' $1.25. Clearing 'Sale
Price I '.....'.'.:...:. l.JL..: ll...ffiQ> cts, each
Men's White Linen  Collars
Three ply.    All sizes, in half-
dozen bundles,    6 for 50 cts.
Big Shirt Values
Negligee and Outing Shirts, in
latest designs sad colorihgs.   Clearing Sale'price       $1.25 each
Men's Wording Shirts
Large and rponiy, allsijies.   Special raliic-3       '  75 cts each
All our Balbriggan IJoderwear at Hall Pfice..
Men's Su'jts at Bargain Prices'
The Trites-Wood Co, Ltd.
Michel, B. C.
The efforts of the Board of Trade
and the Reporter, hi connection
with C. P. R. affairs, are apparently in a, fair way. of getting what is
desired. Special Agent (Jrierson
dropped off here Monday, and spent
Tuesday on a tour of enquiry, and
frprn/a lengthy conversation with
hirr,, we are pleased to announce
that the. C. P. R. will dp everything
in their power to allay tho apparent
friction that has for Bome. months
been irritating the business men pf
New Michel.'
Mr. Griersori came here on a
special mission, and from |he
thoroughness of his investigation we
rather imagine he goes back with a
few hard facts to lay before hia
superior officers. Prominent
among the desires of New Michel
is the building and equipment of
a first clasB station, freight sheds,
express and telegraph offices, and
the removal of tiie obnoxious sign,
"Natal.'' From the explanations
giyon Mr. Grierson, and from the
general tenor of his remarks, we
confidently look for. everything we
have been pressing for. and with
our town improvements iu sight,
there is a distinct removal of that
feeling that has hovered over our
town, and we look for the big corporation handing out every facility
for the rapid and accurate transaction °f business in New Michel.
Old Man Baldwin's Fright
An old man i(i Georgia, named Jnck
Baldwin, liaviiit* lost liis hut ill an old
well one dny, hitclipil a rope to a stump
and let Mmsell down. A wicked wag
named Neal canio along juBt then, ond,
quietly detaching a bell from Baldwin's
old blind horso, approached tho well, bell
in hand, and begun to ting-a-ling. Juck
thought tho old horse wns coming, and
Hftiil: " Hang the old blind horec! He's
coming this way sure, and ho ain't got
no more senflo than to fall in on ino,
Whoa, Ball!" The Bound came closer.
" Great Jerusalem! The old blind tool
will be right on lop of lne in a minute!
Whoa, Ball! Whoa, haw, Ball!!"
Neal kicked a little dirt on Jack's head,
and Jack began to pray: "Oh, Lord,
have mercy on—whoa, Ball!—a poor
aiiuier—I'm gone now! Whoa, Ball—
Our Father who art in—whoa, Bull-
hallowed ho thy—gee, Ball, gee; wlmt'll
I do? Now I lay me down to bI—gee,
Ball!"     Just then in fell  more  dirt.
Oh, Lord, if you ever intend to do anything for pie—back; Boll, whoa—Thy
kingdom come—gee, Ball! Oh Lord,
you kuow I wan baptised in Smith's
inildaiii—whoa, Bull! Hn up! Murderl
Whoa!." Neal could hold in no longer,
uud shouted a laugh whicb might have
been heard two miles, which was about
as far aa Juck chased him when he got
S. J. Watson and Alex. Qoyette
of Frank, wero registered at the
Kootenay on Sunday.
A Repetition of th* Fer.nie Disaster
Last Sunday evening a disastrous fire
occurred at Coal Creek, supposed to have
been started from an overturned lamp,
and before it was extinguished some 24
buildings wero wiped out. Owing to the
high winds and the limited water pressure, it waa impossible ib s'(ay the flames.
Dynamite was used in an effort to break
the onrusliing fiend, but without avail.
Happily .'.change jn the wind saved the
balance of the town. The heaviest losses
are sustained by the Coal Co., and the1
Trites-Woods Co., although many of
those wiped out suffered proportionately
The following is the estimated cost of the
House 150: Fred Varlowj Co. value
Houses 157 ond 15S, double, J. Stevens
and Duiican Matheson, Co. value $1000.
.Iai(, provincial, '$200.
Tritcs-Wood etore, Co. valine $5000,
stock $50,000.
Charles Williams, barber.
Houses M7 and 208, Jphn Evana and
Bob Hiibbertsey, double, Co. voluoSlOOO.
Houses 200 und 210, J. Marklein and
John Smith, double, Co. value $1,000.
Houses 211 and 212, John Jones and
Sid Walley (at coast) double, value$1000
Houses 2LI and 214, J.. Evens and J.
C. Smith, double, Co. value $1,000.
House 158, Henderson's Boarding
housp, Co. value $ii000.
House 154, Atherton'a boarding
house, Co. valuo $.1000
House ISfi, M. Stcventa, Co. value
House No. 147, Dr. Workman, value
Coal Creek Club, value qf building
$1500, estimated loss $10,000
Gymnasium, Co. value of building
House No. 148, Fnirclough'u boarding
house, Co. value $!I000
House 140, Mitchell's boarding house,
Co. value $3,000
House 150, Mrs. Sharpwell, private,
Co.,"value $1500
Houses 151 and 152, double, John
Biggs, and John Bagley, Co. valuo of
building, $lii'*i
The latest thing on wheels. Ask Scotty
at the big store.
G. F. Moses aud *wife ure visiting at
Coal Creek for Ihe week end.
Tho Canadian Club may charter a private car and take iu the A. Y. 1'. Exposition.
You con bo sure you aro successful
when you hear people are knocking you.
—Moyie Leader.
What a lot of time some people
waste in wondering about thinga
that are none of their business.
Two baseball teams, the "Coal
Company,'' and tho " Scouts,'' from
Fernie, played on the Recreation
grounds here on Sunday evening.
Some !',50 people from Fernie were
here to witness tho game, .bcaideB
a large turn out of our home sports.
The score was 8 to '■'< in favor of the
Coal Company,
Great Northern
IVtSRYTHing; nR^-CLA*!
Cuisine Unsurpassstf
Bsr Bf >e« with th* rlnsst
Attendance Unties!****!
■ Ml '■ '-I'
McCool & Moore,   : i  Proprietors
New M|chel, B. C.
Doug!a*&_ Stedman        ...       Proprietors
Everything First-ClaBS and Comfortable
Nothing but white labor employed
"Elk Valley Beer"
Pure and
Manufactured from
Canadian Malt,
Bohemian Hops
and the now Famous
Crystal Spring Water
Elk Valley Brewing Co., Limited
Livery, Dray and Transfer
Bus loaves. 7.40 a. m,, 1.40 p. ra., and 6,40 p, m.
Returns on arrival of trains
GEO. FISHER, Proprietor
Get Your Hirsute Appendage Clipped and Your
Whiskers Pushed in at the Great Northern Tonsor-
ial Parlors—You're next.
P, M. MacLandere, Prop
Call at the Crow's Nest Hardware
Co., and see their extensive display.
What you don't see, ask for.
Bamboo Fishing Rods; Your Choice for 15 cents
Right Prices,  Right Goods and
Right Treatment.
he Model Bakery
Bread, Cakes, Pies, Buns, Etc.   Fresh Every Day
Driver will call for orders and deliver
The Model Bakery        New Michel
Fine Art Printing:
At the Reporter Office THE   REPORTER,   NEW   MICHEL,   BRITISH   COLUMBIA.
It Overcame the Scheming of a
Selfish Sister.
[Copyright.   1900.   by   Associated   Literary
The Indisputable fact which has so
often sadly surprised people that two
and two will uot make Ave was staring the Anslem girls ln tbe lace.
It was a year after the death of their
father, and many evasions and putting
off of tbe fatal day bad gone for
naught They were face to face with
the knowledge tbat they could no longer afford to keep up tbe old family
home aud, moreover, must do something to add to tbelr Infinitesimal Income.
"In some way," said Reglna, looking
up rather wearily from her pencil nud
.,,.    paper—"in some way we've got to have
money.   We've got to go to work."
ff      Reglna was twenty-six. wltb rebellious dark hair and a firm cbln which
always amazed people hy the dimple
I-'     they discovered in It   Iteglna was tbe
*'"     one who always did things lu the fam-
<4     My.   Nobody had ever taken time to
call her a beuuty, so Bhe had never
quite realized the fact that she came
very close to being one and could devote her leisure to accomplish results.
Of course witb Esther it was differ-
| ent   'From the time her flrst fluff of
golden hair bad made itself manifest
j. and ber big blue eyes hnd first glanced
appeallngly at humanity it had been
decided that Esther was a beauty, and
tbe decision hnd clung to her tbrough
life, though ut maturity ft Is doubtful
If she would have been thought more
than nn ordinarily good looking fresh
young girl bad not those around her
been so educated ln the otiier view.
But as a beauty Esther had always
been waited on and put forward, and
even when time went on and girlish
petulance and fickleness and caprice
degenerated Into petUsbness and selfish lnconslderateness nobody ever expected Esther to do anything but exist
And now she was thirty, for ln splto
of belledom the men who bnd wooed
ber seriously had been few and, with
her aspirations, beneath her consideration. At her sister's flat Esther drew
her brows together fretfully.
""Work!" she said, "Tou are ridiculous! It's all very well for you to talk,
but bow could 1 work? What could I
do?   Reglna"—
She hesitated a little, for tbere was
something In the straight browed face
meditatively surveying her as though
she were seen for the first time that
bid her pause. "Reglna—If you would
—It would be very easy for you to
place both of us beyond all money
cares forever.   I'm sure"—
Tbe voice died away before thp sparkle of anger ln the dark face across
the table. Reglna bit her Up before
sbe spoke fn a repressed voice. "I
won't pretend to misunderstand you,"
she said. "It's like you to propose offering something else tban yourself!
Understand once for all that I'll never
marry Dr. Brlghtrlghtl Be Is selfish,
he has a cruel and vindictive nature
with all his surface and polish, and he
Is sUty years old."
"Also be owns tbe most magnificent
country plnce In the state and Is a
millionaire." breathed Esther as ber
sister stopped "Really, Reglna. for a
grownup person you are distressingly
silly! I'm sure Dr. Brigbtrigbt Is no
worse than lots of men, nnd think
what you'd have!"
"Which you, of course, would share,"
said Reglna coldly. He» face took on
an Immobile expression as she looked
down at her sister. "Understand. I'll
never marry him. I'll find work to do."
"It's Neal Maxwell!" the older girl
flashed angrily. "You'd be glad of
the chance If you weren't eating your
heart out for a man w«o threw you
over and never cared anything for
you!   You"-
But Reglnn bad swept from the
room, ber head lu tiie air. ber hands
clutching mechanically tiie papers covered with tbelr rows of discouraging
She was hurt as only a proud person
can be hurt, and tbo sure kuowledge
deep In ber heart that Neal Maxwell
bad Indeed, beyond all doubt cared
for her, In spite of the opinion voiced
by her slsler and shared, as Renins
knew, hy nearly all ber acquaintances
ln tbe town, did not belp much tn
bearing tbe tnunt
It was u yenr since Nenl had gone
abroad ns foreign representative for
his firm and.eleven months since bis
letters hud stopped abruptly, without
warning. Her two letters of Inquiry
bringing no response, pride bnd stepped In and she hnd made no further
effort to bear from him beyond learning from bis linn be was alive and
And wben he left they hnd been engaged. She could hurdly remember
when she and Neal had not Intended
to marry one another, so many hnd
been the years of their more than
friendship. In spite of ber Indignation
nud ber secret* grief, III spite of his
mysterious neglect, Kcglnn still clung
to the feeling tbat. wherever he was,
whatever hnd happened, Neal still
.must earj for her just ao dny must
/follow night.
And she was of too strong a nnture
to seek to cover her Jilting by nccept-
lng the man who bad haunted ber
footsteps for the past year, Dr. Bright-
right whom she Instinctively disliked
and steadily shunned, to thi, furious
exnspernllon of Esther. This hod not
been the first difference they hnd had
upon the subject
This night sho was tired, very tired,
and  discouraged.    Sympathy,  under
■funding or belp from Esther she felt
she never cbuld expect The weak
uess, the shallowness, tbat were bei
Bister's were forcing themselves on her
recognition against her will.
If only Esther bad been of a differ,
ent mold their situation would even
now be vastly Improved. Encourage-,
ment ond energy at her elbow would
bnve given Reglna the strength of ten.
Instead tbere were bitterness, complaint and reproach weighing her
down, nnd beneath It all the old longing for Neal, the hurt wonder that he
could have failed her!
Sunk ln her thoughts, absentmlnded-
ly making preparation for tbe night
Reglna stood for several minutes staring at what she had uncovered at the
bottom of the long utility box on her
dresser without a complete realization
of wbat the discovery meant.
First It dawned on her bewildered
mind thnt the box was blue instead of
pink, as it sbould have been. Then If
It were blue it belonged ln the next
room on Esther's dresser. Tbe woman
who hnd swept and cleaned for them
that day hnd probably mixed them.
And at the bottom of the blue box, nn-
der all the handkerchiefs and ribbons
which Reglna bad mechanically disarranged In ber search for a particular
ribbon,, lay, with a rubber band binding them, the last two letters she had
written to Neal Maxwell Inquiring as
to his silence and which he had, of
course, never answered.
Regina leaned against tbe dresser,
breathing heavily, clutching the letters, trying to think. The face that
looked out at her from tbe mirror was
white with excitement Some one had
kept her letters from reaching Neal—
some one—
In the doorway stood Esther, still
petulant from tbe scene downstairs.
As she walked toward ber sister Reglna turned and faced her silently, the
letters ln her outstretched palm.
With a little gasp Esther saw, crumpled Into a cbalr and began to cry ln a
frightened wny,
"I did It for your own good," Esther
walled. "Neal never will be rich, and
we want—we need—so much! 1 thought
—I thought you'd see bow much better
a position Dr. Brlgbtright could gft-e
you—I thought you'd forget—I wrote
Neal you were going to marry the doctor and hadn't courage to tell blm
yourself and that you did not want
to bear from him again. I—I got
your letters botb times by taking tbem
to slip Into the drop while 1 asked you
to get stamps or cards at the window-
do you remember? I—I did It because
I thought you would be happier, Reglna!"
The tall, stem girl, standing like nn
avenging goddess, looking down on
the hysterical, weak woman huddled
ln the chair, did not speak for some
"Why didn't you destroy them when
you got them?" she asked abruptly.
"I didn't dare," wept Esther, "I
was afraid It was,criminal or something."
Tbe faint flicker of humor wblch
swept Reglnn's face even In ber moment of righteous wrath spread to ber
generous heart
"We won't talk about It again, Esther," she said quietly. "You'd better
go to bed. And now—now I'm going
to write to Neal."
Called His Bluff.
A young woman of smart wit and
striking beauty presided at one of tbe
stalls at a Paris charity bazaar.
Among the small crowd which pressed
round tbe fair vender was a young
man of much assurance, who gazed
upon tbe girl wltb freedom and affected to admire tbe various fancy articles exposed for sale, but bought nothing.
"Wbnt trill you please to buy?" asked mademoiselle, with an exquisite
"Oh," replied the young dandy, with
a languishing look, "what 1 most wish
to buy Is unhappily not for sale."
"Tell me what you wish?" she responded.
"Oh, no; I dare not declare my wishes."
"Nevertheless let me know wbat you
wish to buy," persisted the fair saleswoman.
"Well, then, since you demand It 1
sbould like a ringlet of your glossy
black hair."
Sbe manifested no embarrassment at
the hold request, but wltb a pair of
scissors Immediately clipped off one of
her beautiful locks and banded It to
tbe astonished youth, remarking that
the price wns only 600 francs.
Her iiinlin-lous admirer was thunderstruck with tbe demand, but dared not
demur, ns by tbls time a group bad
collected and were listening to the
conversation. So he took the hair,
paid over the money and left the ball.
They Were Once Regarded as Mechen-
■     lei, Not Soldiers.
Until tbe time of Charles XII. of
Sweden the artillery was not considered a part of the army. The-men
serving in It were not soldiers, hut regarded as mechanics/ The officers had
no army rank. Charles XII. gave artillery officers a rank and regularly
organized tbe artillery Into companies.
The battle of Pavla demonstrated the
superiority of tbe gun ln the hands of
tbe Spanish Infantry. The musket carried a two ounce ball and sometimes
brought down at one fire two or three
mailed knights. The French sent a
flag of truce to remonstrate against
the use of sucb barbarous weapons.
Alexander bad four kinds of cavalry
—tbe catupbrnetl, or heavy armed
horse: the light cavalry, currying
spears and very light armor; the aero-
ballstae. or mounted archers, used for
outposts, putrols and recounolterlng
duty, and the dlmachne, or troops ex-
pected to act either as cavalry or Infantry. Alexander the Great reorganized his father's army. The file or
Inches nf sixteen men was tbe unit;
two flies mnde a dllochy; two dilochlc,*
mnde a tetrafchy; two tetrarchles a
texlarcby; two of these a syntagura;
.sixteen of tbese a small phalanx; four
of these a tetra-phalangarohy. otherwise known ns a large phalanx.
Tbe Greeks attacked In a phalanx,
the spears Interlocked nnd shields
overlapping. After the flrst onset the
spenrs were dropped, and the day was
decided with the sword. The cavalry
attacked the enemy ln the rear If possible and In case of victory undertook
the pursuit—Pearson's Weekly.
The Man In the Rain.
"Men." said a fashionable tailor, "are
much more particular about their
clothes than women, though few people realize this fact Take a man ln a
light gray suit caught In a shower.
Does he go blithely on, heedless of the
elements? No. He seeks tbe nearest
shelter and remains there till the
downpour has stopped absolutely. But
It is his straw hat that a man takes
most care to preserve. I have seen
men ln pouring torrents hurrying
aloug bareheaded, their straw bats
carefully concealed beneath tbelr
coats. Did you ever see a woman go
to those lengths? Often a man caught
In n. shower curries his hnt sort of
casually at arm's length at his side, as
If he was doing It unconsciously, don't
you know. And how often do we see
them holding newspapers over tbelr
bnts. Ever see n woman do tbat?
No. Somehow women seem to be able
to go through a shower without making conspicuous figures of themselves.
They are always serene, never troubled, nnd they never seem to get as
wet as men do."—London Answers.
The Way They Get Rid of Their Hard
Outer Coats.
Mnny persons believe that tbe bard
shelled crab and the soft shelled crab
are two different species. This Is Hiot
so. The shellfish thus distinguished
are merely two conditions of the same
Once a year the crab sheds Its hard
outer coat, much as does a snake, In
order to give Itself room for greater
growth. When It gets ready to mnke
the transformation It sidles ln close to
shore, wbere the water at low tide will
Just cover It and where It Is comparatively safe from Its maritime enemies.
Then, wben It Is half buried In the
saud, Its shell splits open behind, and
It painfully crawls out. Tbe new coat,
as soft as skin, Is already well started.
But until It sball have become fairly
bard the crab stays almost motionless
In the shoals. While It Is ln this condition its pinchers are useless, and It
falls an easy prey to the most Insignificant enemy which happens upon It.
There Is no particular time of year
chosen by the crab" for the metamorphosis. All through the twelve months
fisher lads and barefoot fishermen wading with their baskets along the sbore
at low tide gather the helpless crabs,
which fetch a high price In the markets. In their soft state tbey are
worth from four to five times their
price when ln tbelr natural hard condition-Chicago News.
The "King of Rome."
Whnt became of Napoleon's son Is a
qnestlon often asked, as little mention
Is made ln history of the young prince,
the desire of his father's life, who was
born March 20, 1811, amid great rejoicing ln Paris and balled as the "king
of Rome." In January, 1814, Napoleon
embraced bis wife and child for the
last time, and this really ended the
reign of the little king "wbo never
saw his kingdom." He was reared ln
the^Austrlan court under the name of
the Duke of Reichstadt and grew to be
a handsome young fellow and quite a
brilliant scholar. He bad one short
yenr of military life and then contracted pulmonary disease, from which he
died ln his twenty-second year. He
worshiped the memory of bis father
nnd always spent the anniversary of
his death. July 22, ln his own rooms.
He Is burled In the Carthusian monastery of Vienna, which is tbe Austrian
Westminster abbey.
Crowded New York.
New York always was crowded. In
1837 it had about thirty flrst class hotels. Most of them were below City
Hall park. The capacity of these
bouses was about 6,000. The average
number of visitors to the city at that
time was estimated to be 20.000. It is
stated by an early historian that It was
not an unusual sight to see strangers
In the city wandering from house to
house, carrying their baggage with
tbem, seeking lodging for tbe night.
At that time there were only three hotels conducted on the European plan.
Lodging nt the latter was from $2.50
to $3.50 a week.—New York Press.
Only an Amateur Now.
"No, sir," sold the man wbo had been
asked for alms; "I can give you nothing. You are a professional beggar,
aren't you?"
"I used to think so," replied tbe beg-
gar, as he sadly pulled two cents and
n collar button from bis picket, "but
I bave come to the conclusion that I
am only an amateur."
"She Is a clergyman's daughter, you
said, didn't you?" Inquired a young
mnn of a friend who. had Introduced
"Yes," was the reply. "He's the rector, his wife's tbe director, and she's
tie mlsdlrector." ,
One Request,
Medium—Is there any question yon
would like to ask your flrst wife? Sit-
tcr-Ycs; I would like to ask her to
(rive my Kecond wife her recipe for
When troubled with sunburn, blisters, insect stings,
sore feet, or heat rashes,
apply Zam-Buk!
Surprising how quickly it eases
the smarting and stinging I Cures
sores on young babies due to
Zam-Buk is made from pure
herbal essences. No animal fats-
no mineral poisons.   Finest healer!
Drug gists and Stores evert/where.
The Right Place
A pre.tty young English woman seated at dinner next to Father Healy, the
witty Irish priest, snid to him;
"They tell me, Father Healy, that
you have no mistletoe in your country?".
"Is that so, my dear young lady?
Now I think of it, I believe it is true."
"Then what do the boys and girls do
nt Christmas time without ^jt?"
"Is it kissing you mean, my dear?.
Sure they do it under the nose!"—Tit-
A Sure Corrective of Flatulency.—
When the undigested food lies in the
stomach it throws off gases causing
pains and oppression in the stomachic
region. The belching or ei/uctation of
these gases is offensive and the only
way to prevent them is to restore the
stomach to proper action. Parmelee's
Vegetable Pills will do this. Simple
directions go with each packet and a
course ot them 'taken systematically is
certain to effect a cure.
"Do you believe hell is paved with
good intentions?"
"Well, if the job has been performed
by some of the modern contractors I
think that must be the condition."—
Scranton Tribune.
It is nn undisputed fact that one
packet of Wilson's Fly Pads has actually killed a bushel of house flies
Fortunately no such quantity can ever
be found in a well kept house, but
whether they be few or many Wilson's
Fly Pads will kill them all.
"What with whooping-cough, measles and all that," began the first traveller, "children are a great care, but
they are blessings sometimes—"
"Certainly they are," interrupted
the second traveller. "I don't know
how we should get along without
"Ah, you're a family man, too?"
"No; a doctor."—Tit-Bits.
Minard's Liniment Cures Distemper.
Berkowitz and Sternberg, travelling
salesmen, met on the train.
"I have just come from St. Louis,
where 1 did a tremendous business,"
said Berkowitz. "How much do you
think I sold?"
"How should I know?" replied
"Of course you don't know, but
what do you guess?"
"Oh, about hnlf."
"Half of what?"
"Why, half what you say."—
Everybody's Magazine.
The Foo of Indigestion.—Indigestion
is a common ailment and few are free
from it. It is a most distressing complaint and often the suffering attending it is most severe. The very best
remedy is Parmelee's Vegetable Pills
taken according to directions. They
rectify the irregular action of the
stomach and restore healthy action.
For many years they have been a
standard remedy for dyspepsia and indigestion and are highly esteemed for
their qualities.
A Cruel Blow
Dr. Charles A. Eaton, ol the Madison avenue Baptist church, snid in the
course of a brilliant after-dinner
speech in Cleveland; ,
"Laziness is responsible for too
much of the misery we see about us.
It is all very well to blame alcohol lor
this misery, to blame oppression nntl
injustice, hut to what heights might
we not nil have climbed but for our
Ho paused and smiled.
"We are too much like the supernumerary in the drama," he went on,
"who hnd to enter from the right'and
say, 'My lord, the carriage waits.'
" 'Look here, super,, said the stnge
mnnnger one night, 'I want you to
come on from the left instead of the
right after this, and I want you to
transpose your speech. Make it run
hereafter, 'The carriage Waits, my
"The super pressed his hand to his
" 'More study! More study!' he
groaned."—Cleveland Leader.
'Liza, the cook-lady, according to
tho Louisville Courier-Journal, was
observed to be donning her joyful raiment and setting out adorned with a
festive scheme of decoration thnt cannot be described, but was striking, to
say the least. Her destination was inquired info. "W'y, honey," she snid,
"I'se done goin' to a funeral. Mnh
lodge is goin' to escoht do remnins to
the cemetery." "Why nil the gorgeous attire, then, 'Liza?" she was asked. "LnwBoe,' chile," she replied,
with spirit, "Dis yere pahty we is
tuhnin' out fuh wns a lady, and don't
you s'pose she wants de decorations
to be scrumptious.
W. N. U., No. 751
His Fixed Income
A Southern congressman, who formerly practised law in Mississippi, tells
of an amusing case he once tried in
that state. He was then a student in
the office of his uncle, a Col. Martin,
who figured in local politics.
The main figure in the trial was a
lazy darky named Dick Sutton, arrested at the instance of his wife, who
alleged that he contributed nothing to
her support and refused to work.
During the - examination of Sutton
the young lawyer asked:
"Dick, have you any fixed income?"
Sutton was puzzled by the term.
Counsel explained the expression
meant a certainty, money pnid not for
odd jobs, but for steady employment;
in other words, a compensation at
stated intcrvnls on which one could
absolutely rely. V
Upon the conclusion of counsel's remarks the darky's face brightened.
"I think' I has a fixed income, sah,"
sqid he.
"And what is this fixed income?"
was tbe next question.
"Well, sah," answered Dick with a
broad grin in the direction of Col.
Martin, "de colonel dere allows me fo'
dollars nnd a sack of flour on 'lection
day!"—Louisville Courier-Journal.
The worthy parents of a sophomore
at college were one day disputing as
to the date of their Inst letter to
their honeful, from whom, somewhat
to the distress of the mother and the
indifference of the father, they had
not heard for some time.
"Are yon sure, Thomas?" nsked the
mother, unconvinced, "that it was on
the twelfth, that you last wrote to
"Absolutely," . was the old man's
decisive response. "I looked it up in
my cheque hook this morning."'
Sandy and Maggie**
Sandy and his lass hnd been sitting
together about half an hour in silence.
"Mnggie," he said at length, "wnsna
I here on Sawbnth nicht?"
' "Aye, Sandy, I daur say you were."
"An' wnsna I here on Monday?"
"Aye, so you were."
"An' I wns here on Tuesday nicht
an' Wednesday nicht, an' Thursday
nicht, an' Friday nicht?"
"Aye, I'm thinkin' that's so."
"An' this is Saturday nicht,-an' I'm
here again?"
"Well, what for no? I'm sure ye're
very welcome."
Sandy (desperately^—"Maggie, woman! D'ye no' begin to smell a rat!"
An Impressionist
"And to think,1' cried the artist,
"that this picture, this great work of
art—though I say it—was rejected by
that decrepit and fat-headed institution, the Royal Academy!"
"It's a shame," agreed the pretty
young lady who stood by his side, regarding the masterpiece. "I think it
is a lovely picture, Mr. Splashleigh.
It fairly makes my mouth water, it is
so realistic!"
" Splashleigh dropped his paint brush.
"Mouth water!" he exclaimed.
"How can Mount Vesuvius in eruption miike your mouth water?"
"Yes, yes; of. course it's Mount
Vesuvius! How swinid of me!" replied the lady. "For a moment I
thought it was a rum omelette!"—
London Sphere.
Miss Chatters—It surprises me to
see what a small man your brother
is.   He's no more than half your size.
Mr. Patters—Yes; but he's only my
half brother, you know.—Judge.
George—Do you believe the woman
ever lived who could truly say to her
lover that he was the first man she
had ever kissed?
Madge—Yes; Eve.—Judge.
Being Poor and
Looking Poor
Watch for our Exhibit in the
North Manufacturers' Building
and see how your weather-
beaten barn would look with
a coat of our
The cheapest and most beauti.
ful decorative for old, weatherworn unpainted buildings.
Carbon Oil Works.
those baking qualities which mnke it
the choice of good housekeepers everywhere, lor they find it
Your grocer sells it or can get it
for you and we ure sure you will enjoy using it.
Our six mills at Winnipeg, Fort
William and Montreal have a daily
capacity of Fifteen Thousand Barrels.
We nlso make Rolled Oats, Wheat
Granules, &c, for Breakfast use. THE   REPORTER,   NEW   MICHEL,   BRITISH   COLUMBIA,
How to Be Well Groomed While
Crossing the Atlantic,
A Convenient Way to Carry One's
Toilet Articles—Mannerisms of the
College Graduate—The Girl That Is
Welcomed Heartily as a Guest
My Dear Elsa—I am so glad you are
■ailing from New York on the Luslta-
nta, for then we will get a glimpse
ef you before you cross the pond.
This Is your first venture as a. transatlantic voyager, and you want me, as
an old globe trotter, to give you a tip
or two about steamer clothes? Well,
my'dear, whether the trip over Is physically for better or worse, for sickness
or health, do make wise provision before starting to protect and cherish
"four personal appearance while on the
briny deep. Don't get the mistaken
idea Into your cerebellum that you
can revel ln frumplncss and be happy
at the same time or that most of the
feminine part ot the ship's company
•will be equally ungroomed, for they
The girl who has naturally curly
hair can afford to laugh at' the amies
of old Boreas, but she wltb the straight
locks that get salt soaked and blow
across the face ln unsightly long wisps
will rue the day that she left her native shore without a generous supply
of hnlr nets, for tbey add more to one's
comfort ahd beauty on shipboard than
one bas any Idea of until they expert-
ment. No; the sea wind always blows
and makes the notorious March ones
seem like a zephyr, so be warned ln
time and get a balf dozen good, big
twenty-five cent hnlr nets and be grateful to me for tbe rest of your life.
The last time I went over a pretty
girl In our party spent most of ber
time manipulating the electric curliug
irons tbut are to be found ln every
Stateroom. And her persistency was
greatly to be admired, but, alas, not
her wavy locks, for no curls but real
ones can withstand the combined effects of sea and wind to destroy tbem.
Electric pads to take the place of tbe
hot water bottle are fine to tnke along.
And, dear, provide yourself with a
voluminous automobile veil. A brown
chiffon one Is best, for it doesn't give
you the ghostly look tbnt green, blue
or gray will when you may not be
feeling quite up to the mark. Then
unless you want the A.'s to think
When you arrive on tbe other side
that your complexion has gone off tremendously avoid using water to wash
tbe face while ut sea and, 1 might add,
while traveling by rail. Use your
cleansing cream night nud morning,
(and you will not bave a rough gray
akin when you land at Queenstown.
If you «Jo not feel refreshed after
sleeping without the accustomed dash
ot cold water a good toilet water will
be found stimulating. By the way,
don't fail to bave a good shied bottle
with you, because It will be found the
greatest comfort If you are unfortunate enough to suffer tbe horrors of
mnl de mer or, barrlug this, the less
strenuous headache. And I bave
found thnt wben treating the face to a
cream bath Is out of tbe question a
mixture of alcohol and borax rubbed
over tbe face with a piece of old linen
takes off the dirt and the uncomely
Now I am going to let you ln for a
pet traveling invention of mine.
It's a low, broad tlu box tbe depth
of my largest pot of face cream, which
1 dlvl'de Into compartments with
pasteboard strips tbat will just bold
each article without rattling. Little
aluminium boxes for the crenm are
the lightest and best to carry, for
wben. abroad weight counts. Then
u|gbt and morning you can place this
box on your dressing table. All your toilet things will be just where you want
them, nnd that tedious looking through
the trunk will be avoided. Speaking
of luggage, this broad, low box la
easy to pack ln your steamer trunk.
But stock your box completely before
leaving home; otherwise you will find
you must pay exorbitantly for whatever you need. You doubtless have
read what Mr. Bok and bis bevy of
fair lady contributors have had to say
about "what clothes to take on a
trip to Europe," and your traveled
friends have all added their "do" and
"don't" on this particular phase of tbe
Situation, so regardless of the fact tbat
suv Information has been sought I am
going to exercise tbe privilege or «*t, i
holding it. Bqt let me whisper so !i
and low that 1 have a nice little set 11
chair cushions waiting to be tucked I a
with your, steamer things-dear lltti e
snuggly affairs thnt can be poked In
behind a suffering head or back—anil
tbe comfort of owning cushions Is i
little tblng. but It passeth all understanding of a landlubber.
Now. 1  will, wltb your permission,
ease my mind about the visiting wayu
of the up to date young girl.  I've hail
two of them stopping with me for a
week, one a college brand new creature nnd the Other a product of a fashionable school.   Well, there's all tiie
difference In the world between what
for a better word I'll call the mannerisms of these two girls.  The college
girl wns conspicuous for her lack of
manners—tbat Is to say, she had bad
manners. The boarding school graduate had the most charming way of
doing and saying the simplest thing.
This week as hostess has made me
tblnk of all kinds of hints for the girl
we're glad to see, and I'm going to
unload some of my theories upon you
lnstanter.  In the first place, the guest
we enjoy having with us has definite
Ideas about what sbe does and does
not want to do.   She does not reply,
"Oh, I don't mind," to every suggestion   for   her  amusement,   but   says
frankly,   "I   should   like   that   very
much," or else, "I'd rather not. thanks,
unless you're very keen on It."   She
falls In with tbe ways of tbe household.   She comes down to breakfast
and tn to lunch and dinner at your
fixed times and does not expect tbe
household arrangements turned upside
down to suit her convenience.   If for
any reason she wants to stay away
for a meal she asks you first If you
mind. She appreciates the little things
done for ber and does not take them
all as a matter of course, and she does
not bave to be perpetually amused or
expect her hostess to be trailing after
her continually.  Sbe realizes tbat sbe
wants to be left alone sometimes and
either has "eome letters to write" or
"some shopping to do" till It Is convenient for ber to be in evidence again.
Without mnking herself obtrusively
at home the girl Is glad to help her
hostess to entertain other guests.  She
tries to be agreeable to every one she
meets nt your bouse, whether they appeal to ber or not.   She will sing or
play without needing a heap of persuasion, but Is under no false Impression as to tbe quality of her accomplishments and does Dot attempt to
monopolize the piano stool.    She Is
just as much at home with tbe children and with the old folk as she Is
with those of her own age.   Tbe little
ones adore her, for she Is never too
tired to play with them, receiver their
childish confidences, comfort their little sorrows and make peace among
them.   She never rubs you the wrong
wny.   She Is good tempered and cheerful and does not suffer wltb moods
and nerves.    She makes the best of
tbe weather, she looks on the bright
side of things, and somehow or other
after she has gone you always say:
"I'm so glad Nellie came.   She Is always so jolly.   I feel so much brighter
after sbe bas been bere awhile."   And.
to close this discourse,  sbe arrive1!
when and how she said she would
And she does' not leave a heap of odds
and ends to be sent on after her.   And
she never forgets to write and tell you
she  reached  home  safely  and   how
much she enjoyed her stay with you.
Don't you think my summing up of a
guest's duties toward ber hostess is n
just one?   And do you not think the
filet of tortoise shell picked out with
a daisy design ln tiny pearls and tbe
bnrrette to match were a charming lit
tie gift for my college guest to send
Do arrange your plans so that you
can spend at least a week with me before sailing, and until then believe me
ever most sincerely yours,   MABEL.
New York,
Recent Bad Mixups That Have Disturbed Grave Ceremonies.
The proceedings at a recent Church
Congress were enlivened by the intrusion of several very fine bulls, of
which the- following are samples. At
one meeting Canon A. W. Robinson,
In his opening remarks, warned his
Something About the People Who Are  But  Some   Birds  Are  Much   Better
Troubling Singapore. Housekeepers Than Others.
Singapore is agitated just now Vy j An old French proverb says, "Each
'a tale of piracy, one of the old sort, | bird finds its own nest beautiful,"
legendary now. Some few weeks ogojDut to human eyes there is a mighty
a Chinese junk was boarded near i difference. The dove, for example,
Johore—that is, within sight of   the f is 'a mighty bod housekeeper, either
... ...= „„„.....6 - - island, if not ol the city—and seven J wild as the wood-dove or tame ss the
auditors that his speech would be men were killqd, besides the captain, j domestic pigeon. Two sticks, three
"pointed to the verge of bluntness," | spared for torture until he surren-1 straws, a suspicion of coarse grans,
will*! later in the evening Sir A. ( dered his valuables. Police, blue-jand Madam Dove is ready to lay her
Coote, explaining his presence at such | jackets  and volunteers are searching, pearl-white eggs argi prood them with
An Old Norwegian Pattern That Will
Appeal to Thoie Who Knit,
This smnll double purse is Intended
for the traveler In foreign lands, wbere
gold and sliver coins must be careful'
ly gunrded nnd kept apart lest the tarnished gold be given for copper, as Is
only too often the case. The purse la
a development of nn old Norwegian
pattern of knitting and works oul
charmingly In nny of the pure knitting
Bilks thnt are used for knitting tleB.,
The purses nre made In one coloi
edged with another. Mole gray and
green make a good combination, ol
any color may be chosen to suit the
dress with which the purse Is to b*
a gathering, said that he was like
"one of those satellites of Jupiter
which, when .they were visible, were
al"'".ys obscured."
The late Mr. Bourgeon was a keen
co!l»etor nf mixed metaphors, finding
n "'nil fio',*- in -he c01"rP8p0T.d«rno thet
di'ilv overwhelmed him. 'A lady, enclosing a small contribution for his
schools, wrote. ''I hope this widow's
mite may take root nnd sprend its
branches until it becomes n Hercules
in your hands."-vThe milpit prsvers
of nmbitious probationers added
something to the great prencher',-
One prayed that "God's rod and
staff mnv be ours while tossed on the
sea of life, so that we mny fight the
good fight of faith nnd in the end
soar to rest" ''We thank Thee tor this
snark of grace; water it, Lord," was
the Sententious, almost imperious en
treaty of another promising young
man. Still another prayed, "Gird up
the loins of our mind that we may
receive the * latter rain."' "As if we
were barrels whose hoops were>loose,"
was'Mr. Sturgeon's laughing comment.
It was an Irish clergyman who re
mp.rked. sadly, "This is a sad and bitter world; we.never strew flowers on
a man's grave until after he is dead";
while another Hibernian cleric,
preaching, a funeral sermon while the
corpse lay before" him, exclaimed.
"Here, brethren, we have before us n
living witness and a standing monument ol the frailty of humnn hopes!"
Eonnlly unconscious of his humor
wns the parson wheat the close of his
sermon, said; "And now let us pray
for the people on the uninhnbited portions of the earth"; as also the minister who, pleading for funds for a
nn.rish cemetery, asked his parishioners to consider the "deplorable condition of thirty thousand Christian
F.nelishmen living without Christinn
berinl." »,
Kven more unfortunate was the
clergvman who was addressing a woman's missionary meeting. "My sisters." he said, solemnly, "it is terribl"
to think that thousands of gallons of
rum go into Africa for every brother
who is sent there." "Rather a large
ollowonce for one missionary," was
the whispered comment of one of. the
sisters to her neighbor.
He Doesn't Like Peanuts.
When, fifty-four years ago, Sir Rob
ert Hart was first attached to th"
British Consulate at Ningpo, he hnd
nn experience which was the reverse
of pleasant. He was traveling to
Shanghai in a 150-ton schooner, and
the voyage took three weeks instead
ol one, on account of a monsoon
Provisions gave out, and the ship's
company were reduced for twelve
days to an unsavory diet of water-
buffalo and peanuts—all they could
get from a nearby island. "Was it any
wonder that Hort could never afterwards endure the taste of peanuts,
or that ut thi- sight of o passing water-
buffalo his appetite was clean gohe
for the dny?"
This is not the only occasion when
Sir Robert has experienced some of
the troubles of starvation. During
the Boxer rebellion of 1900, when the
Legation ol ^ Pekin w.ns besieged hy
the fanatics, Sir Robert, in common
with the other refugees, cheerfully
ate mule, "which was hatefully coarse
while it wns fat, nnd unutterably
tough when it grew lean."
Lord Charles Beresford on Irishm'.n.
The Emerald Isle is1 proud ol
"Charlie." and "Charlie" is proud ol
his native land and countrymen.
"Irishmen mny have their faults," he
snys, "but give me an Irishman—the
best fellow that ever was. Could nny.
body tell more stories than the Irish?"
One of the best stories he ever heard
.was about a fellow who was fond of
shooting. He said, "The first bird I
ever shot was a squirrel, and the first
time I hit him i missed mm alto
gether, and the next time 1 hit him
I hit him in the same place, and aflcr
thnt I took a stone nnd dropped liim
Irom the tree, and he fell into Ihe
wnter and was shot, and thnt was the
first bird I ever shot." And Lord
Charles is never tired of quoting the
story of tho Irish member of the
House of Commons who compared a
certain whisky to a "torchlight procession trickling down his throat."
The word "bedlam'* is a corruption
of the word "Bethlehem" nnd origin.
n*ed ns n synonym lor chnos at the
time when the house ol Bethlehem,
occupied by n sisterhood of Loudon,
became an insane asylum. The treatment of the insane in the early part
of the sixteenth century was not well
understood, and, according to the
theories then prevalent, it wns necessary to frighten the patient out of hie
lunacy. All sorts of awful expedients were resorted to. among them
"surprise floors," which slipped from
under the leet; "surprise baths" and
floggings jjt the periods ol most severe illness; hence the name "bedlam," the result of incorrect spelling,
possibly, came easily to stand for awful things.
English Peers Can't Vote.
Disfranchiscrrent is one ol the peculiar disabilities under which a peer
of the realm suffers. Lord Salisbury
once attemnted to secure a vote tor
Hertford and Middlesex, but the revising barrister at Hatfield refused
the elnim on the ground thnt time
hnd given the disability the character
of law and thnt peers, by the law of
Parliament necessary for the dignity
and freedom of the two Houses, were
not permitted to vote for mem hers ol
the House of Commons. Lord Salisbury took the case to the Appeal
Court, but ns\he could quote "neither
precedent nor authority" lie was
obliged to go back to Hotfleid without his vote.—London Chronicle.
for the miscreants. Perhaps there
is no cose, on record so outrageous
within such a trifling distance from
the min-of-war in Singapore Roads,
but elsewhere in those seas it would
a touching .devotiq6| Neither she nor
her mate has any shame in such a
nest, for they always set it where it
can be plainly seen.
Robin Redbreast belies   the   -J-—
not have been remarkable less than [that practice makes perfect. He of-
50 years ago. "Malay pirates," ten builds three nests a season, but
writes Frederick  Boyle in The  Pall | they  are  solid, commonplace,   mud-
Mall Gazette, are so closely identified with fiction of the boys' adventure class that sceptics have doubted
their existence in ' plain fact. But
the wildest romancer would not dare
to describe th-un as they actually
were in their grent day. About 1850
Rajah Btooke put the npmher of
those who swept the coasts of Borneo
alone, going and returning with the
monsoons, et 5,000. When Consul i't
Bruni. somewhat later, Bt, John estimated the population which lived,
ns one may ?ay, by piracy, at 60,000.
And if "casuals" had been included,
with their women and children, it
would have been vastly larger.
The judicious reader instantly replies that trade must haye come to op
end promptly "under this infliction.
But the ruffians did. not depend on
plunder It was welcome, but they
sought slaves—and blood. Inexplicable as it seems to us, the par-
ompaks. ■ though mostly Mohammedans, regarded their employment as a
calling or profession to which they
were born With no, thought of \Vrong-
doing, apparently, they murdered
hormless fishermen, sailors, or peas
ants dwelling on the shore, if too old
or feeble to be worth transport, anil
tortured those' whom they carried off
Among the moat dreaded pirates also
were the Seribas and Sakorran Dyaks,
Rajah Brouke's future'subjects, who
wanted heads and nothing more; all
plundei they surrendered to the
Malay Chief who provided the praus
and navigated them. But these were
a local scourge. It is not very surprising to lenin thnt the worst Malay
pirates weie not Malays at all; that
unfortunate race bears a good many
imputations which it does not deserve.
The La nuns, or lllanuns, dwelt originally in Mindanao, a great island of the
Philippines where Dampier found
then, petceable enough, working gold.
They we'-) not a seafaring people then.
thoiiL'h the chiefs had their gorgeous
The [Balinini came from Sulu; in
fact, tjhat was a piratical name for
the islanders, otherwise called Sulus.
Perhaps it was they who started the
nhominable practice, for the Spaniards we** proveked into sending an
expedition ngainst them so early as
I5R9. It failed, as did many another;
'and from that time," says the old
historian Zuniga. "it is incredible
whnt i number of Indians (Philippines) hnve Been made prisoners,
what villages have been destroyed,
anil what vessels have been captured."
But the Spaninrds succeeded at
length in making Mindanao too hot
to hold th-* Lnnnn freebooters, who
dispersed, forming settlements up and
down the China 8en, ench of which
hecume a centre of piracy. One enn
understand that this w'ay of life
fosters courage and enterprise ns well
ns seamanship. The daring of these
two peophs especially was superb,
ln their praus of fifty to a hundred
tons -burden they started every year
with the monsoon for n cruise of six
o,' twelve or even eighteen months.
Nothing daunted them until the
treacherous European invente:! stenm.
Crnwto-d ndmits that the Sulus had
attained o 'Vousidernblc civilization"
of their own; in fact, Hunt's report
r.n the main island, drawn up for Sir
Stnmford Ruffles, pictures it n garde*),
admirably cultivated by a free and
happy people Doubtless the pirates
were law abiding and industrious
when at home.
plastered affairs, as unpoetic as the
mud nests of the house martin. The
lee martin puts up a different home
for himself and mate. His nest ntoy
have a foundation of mud, but it is
cushioned within, stuccoed without,
with fine wood lichens, into a thing of
beauty. It vies, indeed, with the
nests of the chimney swallow, the
queer angular affairs stuck flat
against the sutty chimney side. They
are ol tiny sticks, built up like elfin
log cabins, and cemented at the corners, as well as held last to the chimney by a sort of glue secreted by
the birds themselves.
The warblers are pattern nestbuild-
ers. They generally choose a spot of
safe seclusion, "far from the .madding crowd," as it were, then pitch
upon some cup of twig and line >t
and cushion it with the finest soft
fibers, fine grass, horse hair, humnn
hair, bits of string. In choosing they
are curiously intelligent. If a handful of variegated' threads be spread
out where they can find them, all the
sad-colored ones will the used, the
gay ones left.
Not so. with the cat bird. His catcall has something savage about it,
and he has also a savage taste ior
red. Bits bf red flannel are a dear
delight to himi He will tug and tug i
at them, letting go, then seizing them
again, until he has found the exact
spot at which the weight of this
treasure trove least impedes flight.
The odd thing is that he does not
line his nest with the flannel once he
has it safe. He works it into the
outer wall, the latter being of rough
sticks and thorns.
Mocking birds love a nest in garden shrubbery, orchard tangle or the
scented thickets oi sn abandoned
field. They build big nests, soft,
elastic and lined with the finest hair,
sometimes off my lady's head. They
come next to the oriole as aerial
architects! Almost everyone who has
lived iri the country for nny \grent
length of time has noticed the pretty
purse-shaped oriole houses swung
from orchard boughs, but few, perhaps, know the bird's trick of bending down a leafy twig to ambush hie
precious nest, and holding the twig
in plnce with a loose wrapping ol
long fibers.
A Flower of Many Names.*
One of the most cheerful flowers in
the old gardens was the happy faced,
little pansy that under various fanciful folk names has ever been loved.
Its Italian name means idle thoughts;
the German, little stepmother. Spencer called it pawnee. Shakespeare
said maidens called it love in idleness, and Drayton named it heartsease. Dr. Prior gives these names:
Herb trinity, three faces under a
hood, fancy flamy, kiss me, pull me,
euddie me unto you, tickle my fancy,
kiss me ere I rise, jump up and kiss
me* kiss me at the garden gate, pink
of my Joan. To these let me add the
New England folk names-: Birdseye,
garden gate, johnny-jump-up, kit run
nbout, nono so pretty and Indies' delight. All these testily to the affectionate and intimate friendship lelt
for this laughing and lairly-speaking
little garden face, not the least of
whose endearing qualities was that
after a half warm, snow melting week
in January and February this bright-
some little "delight" often opened a
tiny blossom to greet and cheer us—
a true jump up and kiss me.
Sum of $360,000 Paid For Holbein's
"Christina of Denmark" Ranks
High In the List But J. P. Morgan's Price of Half a Million for a
Raphael Prevents It Becoming a
Record—Picture Costs Two Lives.
Big prices for pictures are by no
means rare nowadays, but the sum of
$360,000 demanded for Holbein's famous portrait of "Christina of Denmark" is almost unprecedented.
In the National Gallery at the present time the picture which coBt most
money is what is known as the "Blenheim Raphael," lor which $350,000
was paid in 1885. The other Raphael;
In the gallery is the property of Mr.
Pitrpont Morgan, and he is believed
to have given $500,000 lor the work.
There is an interesting story attached to a portrait of Lady Coburn and
her children by Sir Joshua Reynolds
Bow in the gallery. In 1898 this beautiful work was bequeathed to the nation by Lady Hamilton, and lor a
few years occupied an honored position among England's art treasures.
Some time in 1889, however, the family discovered that Lady Hamilton
had only a life interest in the work,
and was, therefore, not entitled to
dispose ol it, and they claimed repossession. After testing their case,
the Gallery trustees found themselves
compelled to give up the picture, and
the family sold it to Mr. Alfred Beit,
the South African millionaire, foi
about $150,000. Now, however, the
picture once more hangs in the nation's vreat gallery, for when Mr. Beit
died a year or two ago, he bequeathed the work to the nation.
Romance is frequently, a feature in
the history of great works of art, and
the story of a great picture that was
English Politeness.
The expression "Thank you" is
much more current in England than
in America. It is also used with
much wider significance, often as the
equivalent of "I beg your pardon."
For instance, an English person phss-
ing before another or perhaps jostling one or even treacling on his foot
will sny in apology, "Thank you."
The phrase is heard constantly. If
a salesman in a shop or a newsboy
on the streets solicits your custom
nnd you refuse it he will sny "Thnnk
you" quite as ohecitully as if voti
mnde n purchase. There is n difference in the utterance too. The English emphasize the second word very
strongly nnd finish with o rising inflection, ns if asking a question. An
American is recognized at once by his
accenting the word "thank" and closing with the lolling inflection.
Her Proposals.
Talking of the Baroness Burdett-
Coutts, Lord Houghton snid: "Miss
Contts likes me because I never proposed to her. Almost nil the young
men of good family did. Those who
did their duty bv their family always
did. Mrs. Browne (Miss Coutts' companion) used to see it coming ami
took herself out of the wny Ior ten
minutes, but sho only went into tho
next room nnd left the door open,
and then the propnsnl took plnce, und
immediately it w-as done Miss Coutts
coughed, and Mrs. Browne enme iu
again."—Augustus J. C. Hare's Recollections.
No "Rooms for Rent.'
"Iu London the good woman who
has furnished lodgings to let never
puts out thnt 6ign, 'Room for Rent,'
so familiar in the cities ol Canada,'
said a traveler. "Instead she dis- j
plays the single word 'Residence.'
That sounds queer to' us, and until
the Canadian visitor ' becomes wise
as to its meaning he wonders what
its  purpose   might be.    Any   native
will  tell  him   that
bought for two human lives iB not   "
The picture is a beautiful representation of the "Immaculate Conception" by Murillo, and hangs in the
Louvre, in Paris.
While Marshal Soult was lollowing
the retreating army of Sir John Moore
before Corunna, a party of his soldiers took as prisoners two monks.
This class was very hostile to the
French, and monks captured were
generally at once shot. Instead of
following the usual practice, however,
the great marshal ordered these two
to lead him to their monastery.
At the monastery, Sdult saw the
picture, and wished to buy it, but the
prior refused to sell, stating that be
had been offered $20,000 for the work.
Tfte marshal then offered $40,000,
and, thinking he saw a chance to
save his humbler brethren, the prior
accepted, on the condition that the
two monks should be handed over to
"Their ransom, is $40,000," said
Soult, seizing hold ot hia opportunity, nnd nothing the prlof could say
would move him from his quickly-
made decision.
Eventually, the great picture was
given up to the marshal in exchange
for the lives of his prisoners.
Frequently, there have been coses
of valuobio pictures being lost or stolen, and never heard ol again; and, on
the other hand, pictures whose very
existence have been forgotten, turn
up from time to time, once more to
cause a stir in the world. So recently
as 1904, in the home of a gentleman
at Whitehaven, a canvas was found
rolled up, and in such a fearfully dirty condition that, at first, it was quite
impossible to trace any signs ol a
picture. Careful cleaning, however,
disclosed a portrait ot two children
by George Romncy, and one of that
artist's finest works.
Fifty years before, the canvas had
been bought, with two others, for $5,
At Christie's, it letched $35,000.
Only the year before the unearthing
of this treasure, iri the possession of
nn old lady of Worthing was lound
tiie portrait of a lady in a white muslin dress with yellow trimmings. The
picture wns covered with dirty varnish and disfigured by two holes. An
attempt to dispose of it to some dealer
ior $25 wns unsuccessful, but when it
j was found to be a Gainsborough, and
sent to auction, it sold Ior no less
thnn J45.0O0, the purchaser being Sir
Charles Wertheimer.
The  Point of View,
There is, always was and ever will
A "Bounty" Relic.
There hns jus! been sold nt Sotheby's, in London, nn interesting relic
of His Majesty's ship Bounty and
Pitcoirn Island. It is a beautifully
constructed bos, inr.de by Thursday
Oct Christion, of Pitcnirn, about
I860, out of Miro wood. On tho top,
is a small metal plate mnde from the
nniis of the Bounty. This Interesting relic realized four und a hnlf
guineas. Its prototype was presented lo the late Qu"<;n Victoria by Admiral Moresby, in 1863, ns "a mark
of esteem Iron, li"r subjects on the
lonely island cl Pitcnirn."
means the occupant ol the house will
rent n part thereof to one who is seeking a place to reside in. So if you
nre in England and wish to rent a
iurnisbod apartment or room wherever you see the word 'Residence' go
boldly ill and state your mission."
Crape on the Door.
The custom of placing crape on
the door of n house where there has
been n recent death hnd its origin in
the ancient English heraldic customs
nnd dates back to the yenr 1100 A.D.
At thnt period hatchments, or armorial ensigns, were placed in front ol
houses when the nobility or gentry
died. Tlio hatchments were ol diamond shap** and contained the family
nrins quartered and covered with
Locating the Trouble.
One day Mary came to her mother
and said, "Mother, my ear aches!"
"Does it ache very bad, Mary?"
asked her mother.
"Well, run out and play. Then you
will forget about it."
Mary went out, but pretty soon sho
came back and said: "Mother, rny ear
does ache. It is not the hole, but the
ruffle nround it."
Knew the Ropes.
"Whnt do you sny to a young lady
nt a dance?' quoted the youth who
was nbout to attend hia first ball.
"Oh," replied the society man,
"talk to her about her beauty,"
"But suppose Bhe hasn't any?" snid
the youth.
"In that case," rejoined the society
man, "talk to her about the ugliness
ol the other girls present,"- London
such    a  legend j be j0 much 7n tiie point ol view.   An
old darky, wandering through the
east Bide in a vain search for work,
wouldn't have understood this original thought il he had heard it,
though he unconsciously exemplified1
it. Weary nnd footsore, he leaned
against nn electric light pole to rest.
Several factory whistles in the neighborhood blew tho noon hour. As tluj
shrill blasts (lied away the old durky"
turned to a loitering resident ol the
block and remarked scntetiliously:
"Yos, snh, it's sure dinner time lor
lots o' folks, but it's only'12 o'clock
fer me."
Anil he shambled on down the
street—looking Ior a job.
To Change Umbrella Handles.
Sometimes a person \Vould like to
change au expensive umbrella handle
to another umbrella and Insten it on
solid. This can be done by cleaning
out the hole left in the bundle from
the old rod and filling tho hole with
powdered sulphur. Place the handle
in a solid upright position and after
heating the uuibrellu **od red hot push
the rod down into the hole containing
the sulphur. The hot rod (uses the
sulphur, and when cool it will hold
the rod solid. This method may be
applied to fastening rpds into stone,
iron or wood.
The Way It Goes.
"What sort ol a customer it
"Fine. He always pays his bills
on the 10th ol tho month."
"And what do you kno*> about
"1 don't know much about Grocn'a
credit. You see, he always paysctu,ii
when he geta * anything, arid so 'I
'couldn't say whether he's honest or
Author ol "Heerts Courageous," Etc
Copyright,  1908.   the   Bobba-MerrlU
Chapter 4
NSIDE  the study   meanwhile   the   bishop   waa
greeting Harry Sanderson.   He bad officiated
at  his  ordination  and
liked   him.     His   eye!
took ln the simple order of the room,
lingering with a light tinge of disapproval upoo the violin case in the cor
ner and wltb a deeper shade of ques-
tion upon tbe Jewel op the other's fin.
ger, a pigeon blood ruby In a setting
curiously twisted of tbe two initial let
ten of bis name   There came to Ml
mind far an Instant a whisper or eany
prodigalities and wlldnesses which be
bad beard.
"I looked ln to tell you a bit of
news." Bald the bishop. "I've just come
from David Stlres. He bas a letter
from Van Lennap, tbe great eke surgeon of Vienna. He disagrees with tbe
rest of tbem. Thinks Jessica's case
may not be hopeless."
The cloud that Hugh's call bnd left
oo Qarry's countenance lifted.
"Thnnk God!" be said. "Will she go
tb bim?"
Tbe bishop looked at blm curiously,
for tbe exclamation seemed to bold
more tban a conventional relief.
"He Is to be In America next month.
He will come bere then to examine and
"Will she go to Mmt"
■perhaps to operate. Poor child! It will
be a terrible tblng for ber If tbls last
hope falls ber, too, especially now,
when she and Hugh are to make a
match ot It"
Harry's face was turned away, or the
bishop would have seen It suddenly
(tattled. "To make a match of it!" To
bide the flush he felt staining bis
cheek Hurry bent to close the safe. A
something tbat bad darkled In some
obscure depth of his being whose existence be bad not guessed was throbbing
now to a painful resentment Jessica
waa to marry Hugbl
"A handsome fellow—Hugh!" said
tbe bishop. "He seems to bave returned with a new heart—a brand plucked
from tbe burning. You bad tbe same
alma mater, I think you told me. Yonr
influence has done the boy good. Sanderson!" Be laid bis band kindly on
the other's shoulder. "The fact tbat
you were In college together makes
bim look up to yon—as the whole par.
lsh does," be added.
Harry was setting tbe combination
and did not answer. But through the
turmoil iu bis brain a satiric voice
kept repeating:
"No, they don't call me 'Satan
Tbe white bouse In tbe aspens wns
ln gala attire. Flowers—great banks
of bloom—were massed ln the ball,
along the stairway and ln tbe window
seats, and wreaths of delicate fern
trembled on the prim hung chandeliers.
Over all breathed tbe sweet fragrance
of jasmine. Musicians sat' behind a
screen of palms In a corridor, nnd a
long scarlet carpet strip ran down tbe
front steps to tbe driveway, up which
paased bravely dressed folk, arriving
in carriages and on foot, to witness
the completion of a much booted romance.
For a fortnight tbls afternoon's
event had been tbe chat of tbe town.
for David Stlres, wbo today retired
from active business, was Its magnate,
the owner of Its finest single estate
and of Its most Important bank. From
bis scapegrace boyhood Hugb Stlres
bad made himself tbe subject of uncomfortable discussion. His sudden
disappearance after tbe rumored quarrel witb his father and the advent of
Jessica Holme had furnished the community sufficient material for gossip.
The wedding hsd capped this gossip
with nn appropriate climax. Tongues
bad wagged over Its pros and cons,
for Hugh's post hod Induced a whole-
aome skepticism of his future.
Tbere wns an additional element of
romance, too. In tbe situation, for Jos-
alca, wbo hnd never yet seen her lover,
would see her hUBbnnd. The grent
Burgeon on whose prognostication she
bad built bo much bnd arrived nnd
bad operated. The experiment hnd
been completely successful, nnd Jessica's hope of vision had become a sure
and certain promise.
The operation over, there hnd remained many days before tbe bandages
could bo removed—before Jessica could
be given her Orst glimpse of the world
for nearly three years. Hugh had
urged against delay. If he had stringent reasons of bis own he was silent
concerning tbem. And Jessica, steep.
ed In tbe delicious wonder of new and
Inchoate sensations, had yielded.
So It bad come about tbat tbe wed
ding was to be on this hot August afternoon, although It would be yet some
time before tbe eye bandages might
be laid aside save In a darkened room.
In her girlish, passionate Ideality Jessica bad offered a sacrifice to her sentiment She had promised herself tbat
the flrst form her new sight sbould behold should be'not her lover, but ber
husband. Tbe Idea pleased ber sense
of romance.
It was a sweltering afternoon, and
hi tbe wide east parlor limp handkerchiefs and energetic fans fought vainly against tbe Intolerable heat. There,
as the clock struck (», u hundred pairB
of eyes galloped between two centers
of Interest—the door at which tbe bride
j would enter and the raised platform at
the otber end of tbe room where,
prayer book ln hand. In his wide robes
and flowing sleeves. Hurry Sanderson
had just taken bis stand. Perhaps
more looked at Harry than at tbe
He eeemed bis usual magnetic self
as he stood there, backed by the Sow-
ers, his waving brown hair unsmooth-
ed, tbe ruby ring glowing dull red
against the dark leather of the book be
held. But Harry Sanderson wns far
from feeling tbe grave, alien figure be
appeared. In tbe past weeks he bad
waged a silent warfare with himself,
bitter because repressed. The strange
new thing tbnt bad sprung up In blm
tie had trampled mercilessly under.
From tbe thought tbat he loved tbe
promised wife of anotber a quick, fastidious sense in bim recoiled abashed.
This painful struggle had been sharpened by his sense of Hugb's utter
worthlessness. To that rustling assemblage tbe man wbo was to mske those
solemn promises was David Stlres'
ton, wbo bad bad his fling, turned over
Us new leaf becomingly and was now
offering substantial hostages to good
repute. To blm, Harry Sanderson, he
was a flaneur, a marginless gambler ln
tbe futures of hla father's favor and a
woman's heart
Only a moment Harry stood waiting;
tben the palm screened musicians began tbe march, and Hugh took bis
place, animated and assured, looking
tbe flushed and expectant bridegroom
At the same Instant the chattering nnd
hubbub ceased. Jessica, on tbe arm of
tbe old man, erect but walking feebly
with bis cane, was advancing down
the roped lane.
Harry's eyes dropped to tbe opened
book, though be knew tbe office by
heart He spoke tbe time worn adjuration wltb clear enunciation, with
almost perfunctory distinctness. He
did not look at Hugh,
"If any man can show just cause
why they may not lawfully be joined
together, let him speak or else hereafter forever bold bis peace." In tbe
pause—the slightest pause—that turned
the page he felt an insane prompting
to tear off his robes, to proclaim to this
roomful of heated, gaping, fan fluttering humanity that he himself, a minister of the gospel, the celebrant of
the rite, knew "Just cause."
The choking Impulse passed. The periods rolled on. Tbe long white glove
was slipped from the band, tbe ring
put on the finger, and the pair whom
God nnd Harry Sanderson hnd Joined
together were kneeling on the wblte
sntin prledieu with bowed heads under tbe final Invocation. As they knelt
choir voices rose.
Then, while tbe music lingered," the
hush of the room broke In a confused
murmur, tbe white ribbon wound ropes
were let down, and a voluble wave of,
congratulatory swept over tbe spot ln
a moment more Harry found blmself
laying off bis robes ln the next room
iV celebrant of the rite  Knew "nut
Wltb a slgb of relief be stepped
through the wide French window into
the garden. Tbe strain over, he longed
for the solitude of his study. But David Stlres hud nsked blm to remain for
a final word, since bride ond groom
were to leave on tn early evening
truln: the old man wns to accompany
them a pnrt of the Journey, nnd "the
Si Ires place" was to be closed for an
Indefinite period.
It wns not long before the sound of
gny voices and of carriage wheels
came around the corner of the house,
for the reception wns to be curtailed.
One by one he beard the carriages roll
down tbe graveled driveway. A last
chime of voices talking together—Harry could distinguish Hugb's voice now
-and at length quiet told hlm the Inst
of tbe guests were gone.
The enst room wns empty snve for
scrvnnts who were gathering some of
the cut flowers for themselves. He
stood aimlessly for a few moments
looking about him. A wblte carnation
Iny u t tbe foot of the dnls, fallen from
Jessica's shower bouquet He picked
this up, abstractedly smelled Its perfume nnd drew the stem through bis
buttonhole. He heard voices In tbe library, and, opening the door, be entered.
In tbe room sat old David Stlres In
bis wheel cbalr opposite bis son.   He
was deadly pale,
and   his   fierce
eyes blazed like
lire   In    tinder.
And     wbat    a
Hugh!   Not the
Indolently    gay
prodigal   Harry
bad   known   ln
the past nor the
flushed  bridegroom of a balf
hour ago! It was
a    cringing,    a
hangdog   Hugh,
with a slinking
dread     In    tbe
£ face, a trembling
7 °f the bands, a
"""/ tense     expecta-
"We have married   tion ln the pos-
Jessica to a com-    ture.   Tbe  thin
moit thief7" line  across   bis
brow was a livid pallor. His eyes lifted to Harry's for an Instant tben returned in a kind of fascination to a
slip of paper on tbe desk, on wbleb bis
father's forefinger rested, like a nail
transfixing an animate infamy.
"Sanderson," said tbe old mnn tn a
low, hoarse, unnatural voice, "come ln
and shut the door, God forgive ub!'
We have married Jessica to a common
thlefl Hugh, my Bon, my only child.
Whom I have forgiven beyond all reckoning, has forged my .name to a draft
for $6,000!"
Determined to Be Pleasant and
Gives Wife a Surprise.
(To be Continued.)
He moved Into a roomy place
With roses round the door
And many blooms of brilliant hue
Man never saw before.
Upon Its fair and broad expanse
A kitchen garden grows.
Its gently rolling upward elope
An orchard will disclose.
The homely barnyard chanticleers
Within Its gates are found,
And scattered through Its leafy nooks.
The song birds sweet abound.
There Is a mortgage on the roof—
Her spouse will vouch for that-
Nor does he bless the day on which
She moved Into her hat
-McLandburgh    Wilson   tn    New    yorH
On to Him.
Prodigal Son—Father, 1 bave return
Father-Yes, go! dern ye! I thought
you'd show up nbout tbe time the prep
ty summer boarders began to arrive al
the farai'-New York World.
Oxford Bibles.
The Bible press of Oxford produce!
on an avearage 3.000 copies of tbe Bible, not to mention prayer books,
every day. The skins bf 100,000 animals are used every year for tbe covers of Oxford Bibles.
"Waal, I swan!" drawled tbe post-
muster at Bacon Ridge, "Thar goes
old Dr. Grimes."
"Yaas; the old man Is getting to be
quite a sport," chuckled oue of tbe
louugers—"shaves twice a week, puts
b'ar's grease lu his hair, wears his
mustache pointed like a corkscrew und
puts on n b'iled shirt once every Sundny."
"Gosh and hemlock! What's the old
man up to?"
"Why, he thinks be's handsome!"
"What iu tarnation gave him tbnt
Idea ?"
"Haven't you heard? The pretty
schoolteacher from the city passed
him on tbe road and asked blm if be
wasn't a 'beauty doctor.'"—Detroit
Free Press. •
Making a Garden.
1 got some packages of seeds and planted
ili'in ln rows.
The land was freed
From clod and weed
And watered with a hose.
And where 1 planted early peas X take
my solemn vow
That early peas
Wave ln the breeze
And gayly blossom now.
I hate to balk the humorists, but I am
forced to say
That beans have grown
Where beans were sown.
It sometimes works that way.
—Kansas City Journal.
Philosopher Hands Himself a Bouquet, but Mrs. Bowser's Criticisms
Result In a Spoiled Anniversary, and
Threats of a Divorce Follow,
[Copyright,  1909,  by Associated  Literary
fl* was half-past 4 o'clock ln the
afternoon, and Mrs. Bowser, wbo
bad been downtown to do a little
shopping, had reached home and
was feeling for her key to unlock the
floor wben It was opened from within
by Mr. Bowser. Her first thought wns
tbat he had come bome HI, but tbe
bland smile on bis face proved to tbe
contrary, Her next thought was that
be bad traded tbe place for a chicken
farm and had come home to pack the
furniture and get right out among tbe
hens tbat night but his words dispelled that l«
"You ure surprised, dear," he balmily sold, "but u word will explain all.
1 came home early to give you a bit
of surprise."
"A surprise?" she queried. "Why-
why should you?'
"Do you know what date tbis Is?"
"Do you remember fhat hajtpened
twenty-two years ago today?"
".No? Well, love, twetity-two years
ago today I led one of the nicest little
women In the world to the altar. That
little woman stands before me."
"Oh, you mean It's our twenty-sec-,
ond wedding anniversary?"
"And I had forgotten all about It
How nice of you to have kept track
of It!"
"There's, the difference between bus-
bands nnd wives, Mrs. Bowser. It Is
always tbe husband tbat keeps semi
Recognised the Umpire,
"Charley,   dear,"   said lyoung  Mrs.
Torklns, "I nm learning n lot about
baseball.   1 can pick out the umpire
every time."
"Oh. you enn!"
"Yes. He's the gentleman with the
marcel waves on his chest."—Washington Star.
A Diamond Divorcee
a hit
Was '
-W. B. Kerr In Judge.
ment il'.ive after marriage.   1 huve hud
this di'-y lu mind for long weeks."
"Ho*)' good of you! I nm ashamed
thnt II bad quite slipped my mind.
Think of It—twenty-two yenrs ago!"
"And there's never been un unkind
word passed between us. Ou'r married lit" hub simply been a dreum. I
hope ard trust we may see another
twenty-reco'ud anniversary. Yes, tweu-
ty-two long years, dear, and nb mnn
bus ever hnd n better little wife. If
any one were to offer me u tho'isnnd
dollars I couldn't mention one itlugle
fault on '-our side."
"You r»ully make me blush. I know
I bnve get a lot uf faults, and It Is kind
of you to overlook them. So you have
gut something to surprise me?"
**l have, love, 1 have been hunting
nbout for tbe last month. I wanf-d tu
render the occasion extra memoru'bic."
"That's just like you. Shall 1 try to
guess wbat It Is?"
"You might guess for a week ai"l
you couldn't bit It It's nothlug in tbe
Hue of Jewelry?"
"Il Isn't books or any article of chitll-
lng.   It's no use for you to guess.'
"You hnVen't gone und got me u parrot ?" queried Mrs Bowser, with ber
heart III ber mouth, but determined
to make IV best of It it he hnd.
Mr. Bowser flushed up and then
broke lulu laughter oud slapped bis
leg uud exclaimed:
••Hear the little one talk! A pcfrot!
Gee whiz! No, dear, 1 haven't quite
lost uiy senses yet Come lull) the
parlor with tne. 1 wonted to get: the
things Into tbe bouse without your seeing tbem, and I couldn't have managed
It if you bud not beeu out. It must
ba ve beep tbe band of Providence tbat
guided you downtown this afternoon.
Mrs. Bowser beheld.
She beheld an old stand.
Sbe beheld nn old chair.
She beheld au old oil painting with a
broken, tarnished frame ou It.
She beheld an old blue pitcher with
Ihe nose knocked off.
Sbe heboid what seemed to be a silver salver covered with verdigris.
"W-what are they?" she asked as she
sunk Into the nearest cbalr and gasped
for breath.
"Mementos of our twenty-second
wedding anniversary. Mrs. Bowser,
and I am proud nnd happy to present
tbem to you. Bach and every one of
Ihem will remind yon of each nnd
tvttf dny of our blissful married life.
Yon trill come to regard them ns priceless." |
Sentiment Surrounds Eaoh Pleoe.
. "Oh. I w111 explain them to you.   1
skill have to In order to make you un
derstand the sentiment and value
When 1 saw them at the dealer's 1
took them for a beap of old rubbish,
but ten minutes later I knew they were
lust what 1 wanted. Listen, Mrs. Bowser. Tbat stand once occupied tbe
place of bonor ln the tbrone room ot
Julius Caesar."
Mrs. Bowser lost her breath and
heard a dull roaring In her ears.
"Cleopatra sat in that cbalr when
she hugged tbe asp to her bosom and
was stung to death!"
Mrs. Bowser choked with the lump
In/her throat and wondered if sbe wns
going to die rlgbt then and there.
"That oil painting Is by Aristotle.
He painted It while ln prison and
awaiting trial for the killing of a girl
who jilted him. Wben he came to trinl
It wus the picture that saved hlm. His
judges agreed that a man who could
paint like thnt could not be guilty of
murder. Tbe painting was afterward
stolen from bim and at the eud of
twenty years was found in the house
of Charlemagne, who hnd gobbled It.
Whether Chnrlemagne was punished
for his offense against the law Is a
mutter lost in tbe lapse of time. All
the old masters took tbis picture ns n
guide, lu fact. It was the beginning of
the old master business. Please remember wbat I have told you, so ns tu
be able to explain It to your callers."
Mrs. Bowser gave a shiver and lost
ber memory In a flash.
"This old blue pitcher has a curious
history. Cicero flrst presented It to
Nero. After a year or two Nero presented It to Claudius. Tbeu it passed
from Claudius to Alexander the Great.
It was while Alexander had It that he
slipped on a banana peel and fell down
and broke tbe nose off. It was then
thrown on the scrap heap and was not
heard of again for a hundred years. It
then appeared on the banquet table of
Cyrus, king of Persia, and we can
trace it down through various hands
until It finally reached those of Benedict Arnold. He left It behind when
he fled from West Point, and it Is said
that this waB the only sorrow he had.
It Is now ln our possession, Mrs. Bowser, and will remain here as long as
we live. That silver salver simply belonged to William tbe Cqnqueror. If
you bnve anything to say you can
bave the floor."
Because Dealer Told Him So.
Mrs. Bowser had been sitting and silently praying for an earthquake or it
cyclone to come, but neither is ever
made to order. Sbe bad to speak, and
after n great effort she said:
"Who—who told you about these
"Why, the dealer I bought tbem of."
"And bow do you know that he told
you the truth?"
"Why, whnt possible object could
he have in deceiving me? Of course
be told tne the truth."
"But history doesn't say that Aristotle was ever ln love, ever ln prison,
or ever painted a picture."
"Suppose It doesn't? Do you think
history hns kept track of everything
flint's happened ln the world? Mrs.
Bowser, you show a disposition to
enrp, und I'm nstonlshed."
"But bow could Cicero present that
old pitcher to Nero when they didn't
live In the same century? There were
no stuffed chairs in cieopatru's time.
Nero and Claudius were also a hundred years npnrt. It was very nice
and thoughtful of you"—
•'Mrs, Bowser." Interrupted Mr
Bowser as the red came Into bis face,
"nre you going to criticise tbese valuable mementos?*'
"No, but you see"—
"I see that you would have preferred
a fifteen cent pinchbeck breastpin to
what 1 bare collected here!" be shouted.
"You know I wouldn't, only"—
"Only out of the wny, womnn! I
might hnve known how you would
act. Relics of Nero, Claudius and
Cleopatra, goodby!"
And. picking up tbe cbalr, he used
It as n sledge to break and smash and
splinter uutll a heap of broken stuff
represented the history of a thousand
years ago. When he hnd finished he
broke the Inst leg off the chair, kicked
the stuffing out and then stood with
folded arms aud said:
"Mrs. Bowser, our forty-second anniversary mny come, our hundredth,
our thousandth, but never again do I
bring a memorial into this house-
never! You telephone your lawyer
nnd I will mine, and we'll bnve the
divorce arranged for in nn hour!"
Their Position tn the Royal Household '
of England.
Maids of honor are chosen by the-
queen herself from among the daugh-
. ters of peers, wbo If not themselves
j connected with the royal household)
tare personal friends of her majesty.
i A letter Is always sent to the parents
I of the young lady requesting that as a.
personnl favor to the queen sbe may
I be permitted to attend at court As-
the position is undeniable and tbe salary Is £300 a year, the request Is Invariably accepted, und then the newly
chosen mnid receives from the lord
chamberlain the command for ber flrst
The flrst thing brought to the mold
of honor Is her badge, whicb Is a miniature picture of the queen set in brilliants and suspended to a ribbon. Just
before tbe dluner hour tbe maid of
bonor In waiting bas to stand ln tbe
corridor outside the qucen'a private-
apartments. Sbe carries a bouquet
which on entering the dining room
she lays at the right band of the
queen's plate."
The maid of honor sits at dinner
next to the gentleman on the queen's
right This rule Is relaxed wben royal
guests are present After dinner, unless otherwise commanded, the maid
of honor retires to ber own room,
whence, however, she Is frequently
fetched to read, sing, play the piano or
take a hand at cards.—Csssel's Saturday Journal.
Illustrated Definitions.
"Tipping tbe scales."
Something Alike, j
"Music nnd   the real estate business
are something alike." ,
"How's tbnt?" I
"Sharps and tints piny a large part
In both."-Kansas City Times. I
One Fastidious Bird That Would Steal.
Only New Balls.
The crow seems to be attracted to-
golf balls in a way wholly, peculiar
from the rest of tbe bird species. In-
parks, where the rook and the crow
abound, one can notice tbem sitting in
tbe trees or bopping about tbe putting-
greens In the distance watching tbe
roll of the ball with a direct or sidelong glance expressive of tbe keenest
Interest and curiosity, which Is soot*
translated Into a desire to carry It off
to the roost In tbe neighboring wood.
The Kcw gardens adjoin the mid-
Surrey course, and In the royal preserve there used to be a fairly .large
colony of crows nesting among the
trees. Of this colony there was one
particular crow that found bis greatest amusement ln mingling among the
golfers and ln disconcerting their play
by Indulging ln repeated predatory
campaigns against their golf balls.
His policy was to hover ln attendance on those players who used new
wblte balls only. Tbose on which the
paint had been cblpped or whlcb bad
been used ln play for several rounds'
by nn economical player were always-
rejected by this particular bird as being beneath his fastidious attention.—
London Field.
The Normal Attitude Toward Death.
The normal attitude of men toward
death seems to be one of inattention-
or evasion. They do not trouble about
ltj they do not want to trouble about
It. and they resent Its being called to
their notice. On tbls point the lnte
Frederick Myers used to tell a story
which I have always thought very Illuminating. In conversation nfter dinner he was pressing on bis host the
unwelcome question what he thought
would happen after death. After
many evasions and much recalcitrancy
the reluctant admission was extorted,
"Of course, If you press me I believe
that we shall all enter Into eternal
bliss, but I wish you wouldn't tnlk
nbout such disagreeable subjects."
Tbls I believe Is typical of the normal
inood of most men. They don't want
to be worried, and though probably, If
the question were pressed, tbey would
object to the Idea of extinction, they
can hardly be said to desire Immortality. Even at the point of death, It
would seem, tbls attitude Is often*
maintained.—G. Lowes Dickinson in
Atlantic.    -
Old Thoughts on April.
Old Nikolas Breton, In those delight''
ful "fsntastlcs" (1626) of his. grew more
lyrical over April than over any other
month. One reads such a passage ns
this with delight: "The Larke and the
Lambo look up at the Sun. nud tbe
labourer Is abroad by tbe dawning of
the dny; Sheepes eyes ln Lambs heads*
tell kind hearts strange tales, while
faith and troth mnke the true Lovers
knot; the aged halres find a fresh* life,
nnd the youthful cheeks are as red a*
a cherry. It were a world to set down
the worth'of tbls monetb; but In
summe. I thus conclude. I hold It the
Heavens blessing, and the Earths com-
fort."-London Chronicle.
To Live Long.
Vlrchow, the German scientist »>!*
the way to live long Is to "be born
with a good constitution, tnke care of
It when you'nre young, always have
something to do and be resigned If
you find you cannot nccompllsb all yni»
wish." It is easier to live long with*
a poor constitution than to violate the
otber conditions and reacb old age.
A Bad Spell.
"Poor Jncy! He never could spell,
and It ruined him."
"He wrote a verse to nn heiress he
wns in love with, and he wrote 'bouey'
for 'bonny.'"
His Funny Look,
"Sny, Daisy, did yer see when I tonic
hold of yer hand the funny look yer
mn gave mc?"
"Go on, Tim, ma didn't give It to
yer; you've always had It"—Life.
Let no mnn think he Is loved by nny*
mnu wben be loves no man.—Eplcte*-
First Lets Wife Into Secret of His
Latest Plan to Win Renown.
Is Arrested  by the  Police, and  Mrs.
Bowser Makes a Statement After the
:   Excitement Is All Over—Sheds Bitter
Tears Over His Failure,
[Copyright,11909, by the McClure Newspaper Syndicate,]
WHEN Mr. Bowser came up
from tbe ofllce tbe other
evening he left a package
ln the vestibule Instead of
carrying it Into the bouse, and) all
through the dinner hour Mrs. Bowser
was ln complete Ignorance that something was going to happen later on.
Mr. Bowser was so good natured and
'talkative that she finally dared to ask
blm for a dollar to invest ln stockings.
"While he didn't stand aghast as usual,
and refer1 to the poorhouse, he didn't
band It over, but went on talking as
if lie had not beard tbe request. Like
a wise woman, she left tbe subject of
the stockings until she should find a
dollar In the road, and the cook remarked as they went upstairs tbat
such balminess on the part of Mr.
Bowser meant nothing less than that
some one would be crippled before
morning. Five minutes later be was
saying to Mrs. Bowser:
"I did think last night tbat we would
take In a theater this evening, but I
find that I bave something else on
"Going to one of your clubs?" she
,  "No."
"Are you thinking of writing a poem
sr a play}"
"Nothing of tbe kind. What I have
in my mind contains such tremendous
possibilities for good or evil that I almost hesitate to state the case to you."
"You are not going to build a coop
and buy chickens?"
"There you go with your sarcasm,
same as you always have! By jinks,
but I wonder If there Is anotber wife
like you ln America! Coop! Chickens!
Do I talk and act like an idiot? Wby
don't you ask me if I'm going to build
a stall up ln the garret and keep a
giraffe tbere?"
"Forgive me, dear, but I happened
to be thinking of chickens just as you
■poke. There are tremendous possibilities for good or evil ln chickens,
aren't there?"
"Tremendous nonsense!" snorted Mr.
Bowser, and be turned in disgust and
went upstairs to chew the rag. He
didn't mean to come down for two
hours, but he bad something on bis
mind he must get off or perish, and
after ten minutes be was back again.
"Won't you please tell me what It
Is?" asked Mrs. Bowser.
"it's a scientific matter, and you
wouldn't understand it Science Is all
Greek to any woman."
"But I'll try my hardest Perhaps
I cau understand a little bit of It"
Mr. Bowser looked at her to Bee if
ahe was guying him, and, being satisfied by ber demure countenance uud
attitude tbat she was uot, be melted
and said:
"Well, you know what rain Is, of
"Yes; I bore seen It rain several
times In my life."
"And you know what a drought Is?"
"Yes; we had one last summer. A
drought is caused by tbe absence of
"You know more than I thought for,
but don't get giddy over it The
drought we bad last summer caused
tbis country a Ipsb of a hundred million dollars. A rainstorm at Intervals
would bave saved all that money. If
we can get rain any time we want It
the farmer Is sure of big crops."
"I begin to see," Bald Mrs. Bowser.
"You are going to turn rainmaker. I
have read of tbem ln tbe papers, but I
thought they were not a success."
"There Ib the whole tblng in a nutshell. Mrs. Bowser. More than a
dozeu bo called savants have set out
to make rain when wanted, but all
hove been miserable failures. Tbey
bad tbe Idea all right, but they
couldn't deliver tbe goods. Tbey
might as well hare tried to bring down
tbe moon."
His Mode of Rainmoking.
I   "But you-you can make It ruin?"
"Not the slightest doubt of It. Just
wait a minute."
He wept down tbe hall and opened
the front door and returned with tbe
package be had left ln the vestibule.
' When the contents were exposed tbey
seemed to consist of five roman candles,
"The necessary powders and liquids
to bring about a gathering of the
clouds and produce a precipitation are
contained in tbese," he explained as
he bandied one of them with great reverence. The professor has been working for thirty years on the Idea, and"—
"Oh, there's a professor in It, eh?"
sbe Interrupted.
"Well, yes. He wns hard up, and he
came to me as one scientific man
comes to another. He wnuted to be
kept ln the background, however. I
am to reap all the glory of the discovery. What are you looking at me that
way for?"
"Mr. Bowser, you've been worked
"I deny It! I deny it!" he shouted as
he waved the candle around his head.
"I've got the greatest Invention of the
century, and you are jealous of me!"
"What professor Is it?"
"Never you mind,"
"How much did you pay him?"
"That's my business."
"Very well. I hare nothing more to
sny. If I want a dollar for stockings"—
"You con have ten, a hundred, a
thousand, but for heaven's sake have
a little common sense. This Is a sure
thing. It's bound to bring ln millions.
You can wait a day or two without Its
killing you. In a week you can buy
out all the stocking factories ln the
United States. I am going to bring
rain within two hours."
"Do you think you can?"
"Think! Wby. I know I can! This Is
a frosty night, and there's an Incb of
snow on the ground. I'll fire tbese candles Into the nlr, und you watcb the
results. In half an hour the air will be
balmy; In an hour the snow will be
gone; in another hour we will be having nn April shower."
"Buflt has always been a failure,"
said Mrs. Bowser even as sbe tried to
look hopeful.
"Yes, and why? Why? Because
Bowser was not ln It, because the so
called savants were fakers. Tbey
might as well have Bhot Into treetops
to bring down rabbits. Now, not another word from you. I hnve always
succeeded and shall this time. I'll go
right out and begin the performance.
JUBt Bit tight aud wait for tbe April
Like Fourth of July.
As he went downstairs and passed
through the kltcbeu ou bis wuy to the
back yard the cook caught sight of the
candles, and wltb a yell she dropped
the disbpim aud mnde a rush for her
room at tbe top of the bouse, where
she could jump Into bed nnd cover up
ber bead. Five minutes later be was
whirling a blazing torch in bis hand,
and balls of Ure were shooting heavenward. By the time the last ball had
ascended there seemed to he thirty
men and boys in tbe alley. Mrs. Bowser was at a rear window, and ns
the second candle was ready to be
lighted Mr, Bowser culled to her:
"It's great! It's a success! The
thermometer has risen 20 degree* already!"
Tbe second candle Increased tbe
crowd, n portion of whlcb Invaded tbe
yard, and one man bad tbe Impudence
to say to Mr. Bowser:
"Say, old man. what's your brand?
This Is no Fourth of July."
The third candle may be said to
hnve closed the performance. It went
off to the accompaniment of cheers and
yells aud whoops, and tbut April shower was ouly a few miles away and
coming like an express train wheu
two policemen grabbed the savant
and announced lu chorus:
"Come along wltb us, you blamed
As announced above, I was at a rear
window looking on,
1 saw tbe crowd and beard the
I realized that something wns bound
to bnppen, but 1 wus powerless to
prevent It
I saw the arrival of tbe police.
I saw Mr. Bowser led struggling
1 saw that coming April shower hnlt
and turn buck.
All the rest of the nlgbt I sat up
waiting for Mr. Bowser's return, but
he did not appear.
It was only at 10 o'clock uext forenoon, after he bad been arraigned ln
court and fined $10, thut he came scuffling home.
"Well, did It rain where you were?"
I asked, but was sorry a second later.
Mr. Bowser never said a word nbout
divorce or tny going bome to moi ber,
but snt dowu ou the lounge and shed
tears—real tears—and murmured tbnt
the world was "agin" hlm. Poor mnn!
Per M. Quad.
Purely Patriotic.
Mistress (to cook)-But. Minna, you
said you wouldn't have anything more
to do with soldiers.
Cook—Ah. ma'am, I And the love of
my fatherland can't be so easily extinguished.—Meg^cndorfer Blatter,
Every Woman Doesn't Take to Housekeeping Naturally.
The notion seems to be prevalent because a woman Is a woman sbe ought
to know how to keep house, Just as
many think when she becomes a motber she will Instinctively know bow to
care for and bring up the baby.
Both are prevalent notions tbat bave
done much barm. The haphazard
housekeeping that rules ln many a
home is often the result of tbls very
belief tbat knowledge of housework
will come as naturally as a duck takes
to water.
A girl would not undertake bookkeeping or even the most ordinary
business position without having
studied for It to some extent Wbat
a sorry mess she would make of it If
she did, and how quickly she would
lose ber position! But a girl will enter
blithely into matrimony without the
slightest preparation for the housekeeping tbnt Is as sure a part of It in
nine cases out of ten as the putting on
of the wedding ring. And housekeeping Is a business, a profession, an art
As compared with tbe ordinary business life it Is as calculus to short division. *
If the new housekeeper be an exceptional, earnest, ambitious, conscientious girl she mny win out ln time,
but tbrough mucb tribulation.
If she be a girl of less fine caliber
she struggles along for awhile, then
gives up in despair. Housework becomes a synonym of unpleasant uncongenial work, of drudgery, and she
drifts Into the haphazard, unthrifty
kind that Is one of the smoothest worn
roads to the divorce court though It
Is not often so named In the suit.
Training would bave obviated all
this and ln addition put a keen Joy
Into the work she bas elected to do of
which the untrained bas little comprehension.
When a woman thoroughly and scientifically understands housekeeping
it becomes a delight It Is flrst a joy
to know tbat she Is giving her loved
ones a bome ln tbe truest sense of the
word, bright, beautiful, sanitary,
healthful; to know Bhe Is spending the
family income wisely; that sbe Is getting value received for her money;
that she is providing nourishing food
so combined chemically at each meal
as to give tbe highest food value and
the utmost palatableness.
In addition to tbe joy of this per.
sonal science there Is the professional
delight of meeting and mastering tbe
problems that arise. They are Just as
big as, often far more Important and
farreachlng'than, the problems of the
business girl's day. Tbe untrained do
not know there are sucb problems, or
If a big matter does come up wblch
they feel they are not capable of coiling with they shirt In n dissatisfied
way around the edge of It because
they know not what else to do with it
Not so the trained woman. Sbe grapples It and conquers It as the stenographer does a hard letter or tbe bookkeeper her trial balance. And she has
the same keen joy the business womnn
experiences ln performing her work
well, but with tbe, added happiness
of knowing tbls Is not business, but
the work of making loved ones happy.
The Indus Has a Bad Habit of Changing Its Channel.
The river Indus ln width during the
year' may vary by miles. Traffic for
iong distances cannot be guaranteed
because tbe ever shifting channel
throws up mud flats and sand banks
i bere und overwhelms good laud there
tin a manner wblch defeats the wis-
j dom of the ancient boatmen.
j With the Indus, too, It Is not merely
a question of.land or water. There Is
always a gamble as to the kind of
land which the river will recede from.
In one place It will leave magnificent
soil ready at once to take a splendid
crop of wheat even if the whiten rains,
ns Is too often the case, amount to
nothing, ln another the greater molB-
tdre will only allow leguminous plants
of country peas and pulses, ln tbe
dampest ooze ef depressions a plant
caller sbamuka Is produced, of little
value save as fodder, but beautiful
with Its blight green color and excellent to the sportsman as an attraction
to flocks of gray and bar headed
geese. Other lands again will grow
nothing but long reeds and low tamarisk scrub. These, If properly placed ln
the neighborhood of fields, bave their
value as preserves for black partridges and bare, but for utilitarian
purposes can only provide materials
for hunting or at best give employment to the makers of fan bandies;
but alas, there is the possibility tbat
in the place of soil—good, bad or Indifferent—sand only may be thrown up,
and the Indus baa a bad reputation for
the amount of sand it carries. Native
lore gives tbe river tbe title of "fills
de Jole."
Use  Linen Strips  In  Packing.
If you go off on frequent jaunts It Is
a great belp to have the following articles, which witb a machine can bo
made ln a few moments and after
using can be laid away for future use.
Bind sttjips of linen in different colors
about a yard wide and three-quarters
of a yard long wltb wblte linen tape
or merely bem them If you prefer to
save the time. In the green one. we
will say, lay your linen nnd plain
white waists. Fold It over and button
or pin together with safety pins.
In tbe blue one place your lingerie
waists. In smaller ones of suitable
sizes put your stocks and belts, ln another your veils, with a stiff square of
cardboard to bold tbem flat. Bind
squares fifteen or sixteen Inches and
sew tapes to one corner for your shoes,
which can be rolled up like a package
diagonally, with the ends turned la
and tied.
Vary these colors for convenience In
finding them. You can outline ln embroidery cotton." If you care to, "Ties."
"Pumps." "Shoes." "Rubbers," or mere
ly pin a written label on ench. The
cases containing these accessories can
be laid ln a drawer on your arrival.
She Will Outgrow It.
The hatband shown is the latest device for protecting children from too
demonstrative frlcndB. It Is suggested
that the little muld will outgrow ber
own motto In the course of time.
Screw Propellers Did Not Come lnte
Use Until 1850.
"We are prone to smile at the
archaic prototypes of our modern
steamships," writes Gustav H. Schwab
In Harper's Weekly, "at their diminutive size, their clumsy build, their
huge paddle boxes and tbelr single
slender smoke pipe, but we do not stop
to think of the few brave men of
those days wbo, undaunted by tbe on-
position and ridicule of most of tbelr
fellows, persisted ln tbelr efforts to
supplant sail by steam and who finally
by sheer pluck and perseverance succeeded ln tbese efforts."
The Savannah, which crossed tbe
Atlantic ln 1810, was a full rigged
packet sblp to wblch bad been added
a small one cylinder steam engine
turning two paddle wheels, wblch were
eet ln motion ln smooth water wbeu
the wind failed. For two-thirds of the
way across tbe Savannah depended
solely upon ber sails. In 1833 tbe
Itoyal William made tbe passage ln
twenty-five days, under steam the
whole way. In 1837 the Great Western was constructed, but ber unusual
length of 230 feet gave rise to many
apprehensions as to her safety. The
first screw steamship was built ln
1830, and eight years later the Bremen
made the passage ln fifteen days. In
1862 the Scotia cut down the time
from Queenstown to less than nine
days. From that time on tbe record
has been gradually reduced.
Old Ezekiel Had Long Been Wanting
a Boiled Dish.
"Tbis Idea that.people thrive best
ou tbe food they like best Is not as
modern as you seem to think," snid
the old doctor to the young doctor.
"When Ezekiel Holmes was something
i over 100 years old he was taken sick,
j and my grandfather, one of the best
physicians ln that section, was called
in to see bim after the family had
done their worst to make blm better.
"Grandfather pronounced Mr. Holmes
very 111 and told the family that the
end was probably near—he might not
live out the nlgbt. As soon ns tbls
news spread through the neighborhood
several friends called to sit up ot
watch with the sufferer. Among them
was a sen captain, who took tbe second watch.
"A little after midnight Mr. Holmes
awoke and said the doctor was starving him. The captain asked what he
would like to eat
" 'Corned beef and cabbage,' replied
the old mnn.
"The captain found some in tbe pantry—it wns a staple dish in those days
-and gave hlm a generous plateful,
reasoning, as he said afterward, that
so long as the old man's hours were
numbered be might as well bave what
he wanted while he lasted. After eating heartily Mr. Holmes Bald he felt
much better and went quietly to sleep.
Tbe next mornlbg, wben grandfather
called, he found his patient on the
roud to recovery. The old man not
only got well, but kept so for four
or five yenrs afterward, and he always stoutly declared that bis midnight meal hnd cured him.
" 'I'd been wanting a boiled dish a
fortnight' be used to Bay. 'and mother
wouldn't let me have It. But I worked
a traverse on her and got well.'"—
Youth's Companion.
Queen Catherine obtained pins from
France, nnd ln 1543 an act was passed
"That no person shall put to sale any
plnnes but only such as shall be double
beaded and bave the heads soldered
fast to the shank of the plnnes. well
smoothed, the shank well sbapen, tbe
points well round filed, cauted and
At this time most plus were made of
brass, but many were also mnde of
Iron, with a brass surface. France
sent a large number of pins to England until about tbe year 1026. In tbls
year one John Tllsby started plnmok-
ing ln Gloucestershire. So successful
was his venture that be soon bnd
1,500 persons working. These pins
made at Stroud were held In high repute. In 1036 plnmakers combined and
founded a corporation. Tbe Industry
wos carried on at Bristol and Birmingham, the latter becoming tbe chief
center.—London Standard.
How Mardarlns Rank.
Mandarins In China may be distinguished by tbe birds which decorate
their uniforms as well as by tbelr buttons. Mandarins of the first rank have
a bird known ns the fung embroidered
on their clothes. Mandarins of the second rank hnve their robes adorned by
tbe figure of a cock. Mandarins of tbe
third rank have a peacock. Mandarins
of the fourth rank are adorned with a
pelican. Those of tbe fifth rank are
easily distinguished by tbe silver
pheasant, those of the sixth rank are
favored by a stork, mandarins of tbe
seventh rank have a partridge, mandarins of the elghtb rank quail and
mandarins of the ninth rank the humble sparrow.
Enforced the Rules.
Museum Attendant—Yon'll plnze lave
your umbreller or cane at the door,
aor. Visitor-Very proper regulation.
But It happens I have neither. Attendant—Then go nnd get wan. No one Is
allowed to enter unless be Inves his
umbreller or cane at the door. You
mny rend the card for yourself, sor!—
London Tit-Bits.
Keeping Cakes Fresh,
Cookies put In an earthen Jar Hnrd
with clean cloth, while they are still
hot and kept covered close, will bs
much more melting and crumbly tban
If they were allowed to cool ln the air.
"You persuaded your husband to Join
a glee club?"
"Yes." answered Mrs. Rlggins; "wben
he starts to sing at home I can now
advise him not to tire his voice, aud
when be sings ln tbe club I can't hear
His Right to. the Title Not Shaken by
Cross Examination.
The late Mr. N. J. Bradtee was sum.
moned to appear as an expert on real
estate In Boston some years ago In a
! lawsuit over tbe value of certain prop-
| erty.   Tbe lawyer on the other side,
| not knowing Mr. Bradlee, undertook
t to counteract his testimony.    In the
cross examination the questions and
answers were somewhat as follows:
"What did you say your business
wns. Mr. Brudlee?" began tbe lawyer.
"Well, I have charge of a good many
trusts, mostly real estate," Bald Mr.
Bradlee. "How much real estate hava,
you ever had charge of at one time?"
"Well, I don't think I can say exactly."
"But bow mucb sbould you guess?"
"1 couldn't even guess." "Well, air,
would you say it was $5,000 worth?"
"I ihould put It as btgh as tbat certainly." "Would you put It as blgb a*
tlO.OCKl?" "Yes." "Fifteen thousand?"
"Yes." "Twenty-live thousand?" "Yes."
"Fifty tbousnnd?" "Yes." "A hundred thousand?" "Yes." "Five hundred thousand?" "Yes." "A million?"
"Yes." "Well, bow many millions?"
roared tbe astonished lawyer, who
only now began to discover tbat he
bad caught a tartar. "Well." said
Mr. Bradlee very coolly, "1 told you at
the start I couldn't say, but since you
Insist on it 1 will roughly estimate It
nt say a hundred millions." "You
may stand down," aaid tbe attorney,
wbo waa soon nonsuited.—Argonaut
Melody of Sorrow Heard In Prison and
Palace In Russia.
Tbere Is an air bo popular in Russia
that It Is even more familiar tbnu their
national anthem to the people of tbnt
great, mysterious empire. 1 bnve heard
It ln all parts of tbe czar's dominions
from the Baltic sea to Bering strait
and from Archangel to tbe Caspian, ln
tbe glittering palaces of Petersburg
and in foul prison dens of Siberia.
It is a simple melody In the minor
key, suggestive, like most Slav music,
of sorrow and unrest, and It is called
"Matushka (or Mother) Volga," as for
some cryptic reason every Russian, be
be. noble or nihilist. Is taught from
childhood to regard this great river lu
the light of n maternal relative. Yet
tbe river Is full of sad associations,
for convicts formerly traveled a portion of the Journey to Siberia along Its
broad, sluggish stream.
I can never forget tbe haunting
sweetness of "Matushka Volga" as I
heard It sung on a prison barge one
quiet summer evening by a party of
fettered politicals banished to the
great lone land of exile, for "Motber
Volga" was tbelr last link with home
and tbe loved ones they might never
meet again.
Fortunately tbo condemned are now
sent Into Asia hy the Transslbcrlan
railway, and the unhappy exile Is
spured at least one hitler partlng-thnt
from Ills well beloved "Mother Volga.''
A Curious Tree.
One of the natural curiosities of
south Musbouuluiid is a "German
sausage tree." it bears deep crimson
flowers, three inches long, ln blazing
bunches of twelve, but when the tree
fruits luto fat. substantial, sausuge-
llke pods there reran lu no leaves, and
It looks like a sausage lurder Indeed.
Theae beans nre twenty Inches long
and twelve inches In girth nnd nre he.
loved of tbe native tribe of Sbangaans
nnd baboons. But tbe tribe of the
Knrengn are a very superior people
and would never deign to cat tbem.
Tbere can be no renson for this, as
at least no one can accuse these "sausages" of belug connected ln any way
witb dogs or cuts.—Natal Witness.
May Cure Snoring Too.
"I've fouud n cure for ulghtmare,"
said tbe mnn who will ent despite his
subsequent sufferings. "When I go
to bed nt nlgbt I slip a string througb
an empty spool, secure the spool flrmly
so It will not slide aud then tie tbe
string nround my waist in such a way
thnt Ihe spool comes In the middle of
my bnck. Tbe result Is thnt If I try
to turn on my back In my sleep I He
on the spool, nnd I can assure you It
awakens me promptly. No; It Isn't
pleasant to be wakened ln thnt wuy,
hut It Is better (ban having to go
through one of the diabolical nightmares from wblch I have suffered for
several years."—New York Press.
Must Keep It Dry.
The teacher bad explained to a primary class the difference between solids aud liquids nud Illustrated her
points by objects kept on a table.
When she thought her pupils had
grasped the idea she held up her watch
and asked. "Now, children, must I put
tbls among the solids or among the
liquids';" "Among the solids, teacher,"
n bright Utile boy replied. "Why not
uniong tbe liquids?" Bhe asked. "Because." replied the little fellow—"because If you do you will get It wet"
All About Her.
Winkle—See tbnt little woman In
blnck over there? I'll bet there nre
more men crazy nbout that woman
tban nny woman lu town, ninkle—
What makes you think so? Winkle-
Well, she's the matron out at the insane asylum.
Those In Portugal Hava Boon Cut Up
Into Very Small Portions.
The Portuguese are an extremely
conservative people. Every one follows rigidly the methods employed by
bis fatber and forefathers. In very
many parts of the country tbe old
wooden plowa are still used.
Wben a man dies, Instead of one of
tbe heirs taking tbe whole property
and paying tbe remaining heirs for
their parts, the whole property is divided Into ns many parts as tbere are
heirs. More than tbls, each separate
part of tbe property Is thus divided.
Thus, If a property consisted of ten
acres of pasture land, eighty of vineyard and ten of grain land and tbere
were ten beln, eacb heir would receive
one acre eacb of grain and pasture
land and eight acres of vineyard. This
process has been going on for a very
long time, so that now lu tbe most fertile part of Portugal tbe land Is divided Into Incredibly small portions.
The Immediate result of tbls, according to tbe United States consular reports. Is tbat tbe product of tbe land
Is barely sufficient at best to sustain
its owners. South of tbe river Tngus.
on the otber hand, there nre enormous
tracts of excellent land lying unused,
but It hns been found Impossible to Induce the farmers of the north to move
Into this region and take up large
"I entertained some friends at dinner the other night at a well known
botel ln Boston," said a New Yorker,
Just returned from tbe Hub. "and
was served by an ebony giant on
"whom lampblack would make a white
mark. It Is the custom at tbat par
tlcular hostelry for the waiters to
write their own orders. Upon receiving my bill 1 could scarcely check the
items. The spelling bore no similarity
to any otber under tbe sun.
"'Sam,' I said, 'this Is tbe worst
spelling I ever sow,' and added facetiously, 'where did you lenrn to spell?*
"Without moving s muscle Sam replied courteously, '1 reckon, boss, I
must bave Inherited it from my ancestors.'
"Tbe laugh being on me, Sam got ao
extra tip."
General Washington on Looting.'
Headquarters, Sept tl. 1"70.-Tha
Gen'l Is Itesotved to put a stop to Plundering or converting i'ubllck or Private
Property to their own Use when taken
off or found by any Soldier, he therefore alls upon all the Men to exert
themselves against it, ond If the Coll.
or otber Officers of Iteg'ts see cr know
of any Horses, furniture. Merchandize
and sucb other I'roperty In tbe bands
of any Officer or Soldier nnd does not
Immediately tnke bold of It. giving
immediate notice of It lo their Brlga-
deer Gen'l. such Officers will be deemed a Party, brought tu Court Martial
& broke with Infamy. For let It ever
be Itemcmbered thnt no Plundering
Army wns ever n Successful oue. —
From General Washington's ''ersonol
Order Book In Jourual of American
Too Public.
The young lady, with ber fiance, waa
nwaltlng n street cnr. After several
cars bad passed and tbey could not
get nbonrd tbe young man became Impatient When tbe next ear stopped at
the corner he lenped upon the platform
and said In pleading terms, "Come un,
Mary; we can manage to squeeze in
bere, can't we?" Tbe young woman
colored slightly, but bravely replied,
"I suppose wc enn. denr, but don't you
think we bud better wait until wc get
The asp borrows poison from the Tl- I
per.-Latln Troverb.
Without a  friend  the  world   Is o
vlldcrncss.-German Proverb.
A Protest.
Dolly-We hnd to practice Chopin
for ttiree hours today, mamma.
Mrs. Pnrvenoo—Itenlly. my denr,
shnppln' Is all very well, but your
papa sent you to the Indies' bnendem;
to learn music an' tbat sort o' thing."--"
London Mall.
The very act of life, so far as I ha.ve
been able to observe, consists In fortitude nnd perseverance. — Sir Walter
It Brought About an Understanding Between the Lovers.
[Copyright   1909,   by  Associated  Literary |
"It's kind of lonesome since pa died,
but 1 can't seem to make up my mind
to Ellas some way."
The speaker had a worried look in
her bright blue eyes as sbe dropped a ',
fresh batch of doughnuts Into the fry-1
lug pun. saying. "Just six an' no more, I
«ay 1, au' then they won't souk, fat"    I
"Your doughnuts cert'nly do come
out Jest right Sophrony," said the little, dressmaker as she snapped ber
thread with a twist of ber finger.
"Seems as if 1 could not work hnlf so
fast Blnce I got these store teeth an'
can't bite off my thread any more. Silas Is forehanded an' well meanln',
tbougb be ain't as handsome as some."
"On. 1 don't.mind red hair myself,"
replied Sophrony amiably, "but"-
"It's time you was gettln" settled."
persisted the dressmaker. "You never
was cut out for an old maid."
She eyed Sophrony's comfortable
curvesajvlth appreciation. "Let's see—
you're thirty, come August. You was
born the day our Betsy had them twin
calves—dretfnl cute little critters they
waa. One had a white ring around
bis eye. Now, if you was little an'
skimpy, like me, you'd be a proper old
• Her black eyes twinkled behind the
gold bowed specs ss sbe contluued: "I
ain't never felt the loss ot a mun yet
He'd be sure to want the rocker Jest
when Marcus Aurellus bad to bev it"
(Marcus waa tbe spoiled Angorn.i "I
calkerlute I've bed two chances, tbougb
leastwise one ot 'em was au out an'
outer; tbe otber was a seafarin' man,.
ao I don't know. No, Sophrony. I've
ate two already," declining the tempting circles, "but I might take a drop
more tea.   Too bad Sam Jenkins got
atove up so," she said, wltb a sharp
aide glauce at tbe girl.
Sbe gave a satisfied nod as the rich
red Darned In Sbpbrouy's cheeks.
"Who'd 'a' thought tbut plow would
strike dynamite In his old ten acre
lot? Nobody knows bow It came tbere,
neither. He was sucb a likely young
feller an' dretful handsome"—
"His face ain't hurt none," Interrupted* Sophrony, rattling tbe stove covers
"They say wben be gets tbem new-
tangled legs wltb Joints be'll be as
good as new, bnrrln' bis tbree lingers.
Lucky 'twas the left hand, say L
Didn't he uster come over here a lot?"
queatloued Miss I'erktns.
"Yes. for quite a spell." Sopbrony
turned around und allowed tbe tears
to roll over ber plump cheeks without
any pretense. "That's wby 1 can't
make up my mind to Silas, I guess.
But u woman can do nothin', an' Sam's
sort of backward."
"My grief. 1 should say so—when a
man couldn't get up spunk to ask a
girl till she's most thirty!"
"He knew 1 wouldn't leave pa," excused Sophrony. "1 went over to Inquire, but Msry Jane said be wouldn't
let anybody inside the bouse."
"You don't say!" exclaimed the
dressmaker. "I kind of mistrusted
bow things wns." she sympathized,
"but he's jest sensitive, that's what
Likely be says to himself, '1 ain't got
no right to ask any woman to tie up
to a one logger.'"
"I'd rather hnve Sam with one leg
than nny other body with two," half
sobbed Sophrony. "Oh. Miss Perkins.
It docs me a Bight of good to speak
out! I've Just been bottled up till II
aeems ns If I should bust."
"Tbere, there. Sophrony; you Jest
think reel hard tbat things Is goln' to
come out right, nn' they're bound to.
I've been rendln' some of the new
thought papers lately, an* there's a
heap o' comfort In 'em. Why don'f
you send him a picture enrd?" she
askpd suddenly.
"Mebbe I mlgbt" sold the girl doubtfully.
"You Jest flend him n prltty one. an'
we'll nee," sold the little dressmaker
ns she put on her modified "Merry
"Some wny I feel a heap better thr.n
when you enme, Miss Perkins. Everybody Bays you're tbe village comfort
anyway." said Sophrony. "I wish 1
had your pompadour. You keep your
hah* wonderful well." gazing admiringly nt the wavy gray hair.
"Nonsense!" wltb n pleased flush,
however. "The Perkinses nil have
good heads o' hair. Buus in some families, 1 guess."
"I know just what she'll pick out"
soliloquized tbe spinster on her way
home, "sometbin" wltb hearts an a
pagoda with doves In it. That ain't
what a man wants who's all stove up
an' got (the grumps. I will! I vum!"
The little dressmaker retraced ber
steps to the village "emporium,"
wbere sbe carefully scanned the srook
of cards. Finally her eye lighted on
the picture of tbe "Ministering Angel." "It's Jest tbe. ticket." sbe chuckled. On a flowery couch reclined a
young mnn, nnd a young woman was
offering him a plate of moat impossible
looking fruit wltb an air of tender solicitude.   The motto read:
1 fain would soothe thy wearied hours
With all a woman's powers,
'Tie woman's place to serve and watt
Upon a loving mate.
Miss Perkins wrote something on the
card nnd firmly affixed a one cent
"Tbere; I guess that'll set him to
thlnkio' anyway."
After tea Sophrony sat by tbe window knitting in the dusk when she
saw Mary Jane going Into a nelgbbor's.
"She won't get away from there for
an bour. Miss Parks is an everlnstlu'
talker," commented Sophrony. "I've a
half mind to run over an' Inquire, just
neighborly like. He might be in the
sittln' room wltb Loulsy."
Wltb fast beating heart tbe girl
whipped her best pink shawl around
her and started out Sure enough.
Sam was tn tbe easy cbalr with his
crutches on tbe floor beside him, and
Loulsy, his twelve-year-old sister, was
doing sums. Sophrony could Bee them
through tbe window as she tiptoed up
the gravel path.
"Come In. Sophrony!" shouted the
young man as he caught tbe Bound ot
her voice In the hallway.
"My." whispered Loulsy, "he ain't
Been nobody since be was hurt!"
Sophrony trembled, but said cheerily. "Hello. Sam!" In her usual fashion.
As Loulsy disappeared after a pitcher
ot elder In hospitable manner Sam
leaned forward wltb a nervous flush
on bis thin face as be asked hurriedly,
"Sophrony, did you send me a picture
"Mebbe I did an' mebbe I didn't"
answered the girl nervously, laughing
and blushing.
"Don't fool, Sophrony. Quit It Did
"Yes, Sam," abe replied, aobered up
by his earnestness.
"Did you mean ltr he demanded.
Sopbrony looked bewildered. What
was the motto? She could not remember. She bad just picked out .a "pretty" one. as tbe dressmaker had surmised. It wonld do no barm to say
"Yes" anyway.
"Did you, Sophrony?" be persisted.
"Would you put up with a man wbo
bas only one leg?"
"indeed. I would If It 'twas you.
Sam," replied Sophrony honestly.
"Come over here, my girl," entreated
Sam, holding out his arms longingly.
All bis shyness seemed to have disappeared.
Sopbrony wept and kqelt beside bis
chair, and as his arms closed around
her Sam said. "If It hadn't been for
tbls blessed card"—he pulled It out of
his breast pocket—"I'd never have bad
tbe courage to ask you."
Sophrony caught ber breath sharply
as Bhe looked at it "Oh. Sam," then
she hesitated. "I never sent that one.
but" she added hastily as sbe rend the
verse, "1 would bave If I'd seen It I
think It's Just lovely."
Sam drew the pretty, blushing fnce
against bis shoulder again. "Well, It's
all right, tben. But see. here are your
initials down In the corner. Wbo do
you suppose sent It?"
"It's that blessed little dressmaker."
said Sophrony, with a flash of comprehension.
"Land o' Goshent I guess there'll he
n weddln' In this family 'fore long—
teehce," giggled Loulsy from the doorway, nlmost dropping tbe pitcher of
elder In her excitement
"I Just guess there will," replied
Sam masterfully.
FAIR Mabel bad a dainty waist,
A triumph of the fashion's art;
But ah, so tightly was it laced
Tbere   wasn't   room   for   Mabel's
heart 1
The hapless heart was ln despair.
"1 must beat somewhere!   1 believe
I've heard a pretty girt will wear
Her heart sometimes upon her sleeve,"
But Mabel's sleeve clung like a skin
To Mabel's softly rounded arm.
The beating heart could not squeeze In.
It looked about In vague alarm.
"Weil, well, I must try other routes!
Ot timid maids I've heard It said
Often their bearts are ln thetr boots."
And downward their-It quickly sped.     '
"Ah, this place," said the heart "X
Alas, It found no room to beat—
The little patent leather shoes
So snugly fitted Mabel's feet.
Now, though deep fear the poor heart
It thought: "Sometimes a girl can't sing
Because her heart Is in her throat
1 do believe that's Just the thing."
To Mabel's lovely throat it stole,
. But once again—poor, luckless wight—
It failed to reach Its longed for goal—
Her collar was so high and tight
The desperate heart, despairing, stghedi
"There's no place left but Mabel's hat
Aha!   I'm saved!" with Joy. It cried,
For there was lots ot room on that!
—Carolyn   Wells   In   Saturday   Evening
She Had Waited a Long Time
For the Question.
"I want some cigars for my bus-
band, please."
"Yes, madam.   What kind?"
"I don't quite know, but he's a small
man and always dresses in black!"
Billy's Predicament.
j    Sister  Bessie  came  running boms
from the church bazaar in breathless
; excitement.
I   "Oh,  mamma," She panted,  "Billy
i met with an accident down at the bazaar."
"Dear   me!"   sighed   the   mother,
! "What mischief is be tn now?   1 declare he's a bitter pill.!'
"Oh, but he won't be so bitter now.
He's BU,*ar coated. He Just fell Into
tbe tub of soft molasses tuffy."-St
Louis Itep'iblic. |
Awakened Sympathy.
"When the balmy zephyrs come
stealing o'er the scene." said the young
men with feathery bnlr. "doesn't It
nmlte you feel kinder toward humnn
nature to dream of being on tbe moonlit lnke with your light guitar waking
the echora.with song?"
"It does." answered Mr. Slrlus Barker. "It makes me feel kinder than I
did before toward the fellow thai
rocks the boat."—New Orleans Times*
The Crusty Bachelor.
Crusty Bachelor-Yes, since I hnve
been lu this hotel, surrounded by so
much beauty, I have curried a rabbit's
Pretty Glrl-Ah. in the hope of winning some congenial partner?
Crusty Bneheinr - No: to keep me
from falling a vlctim.-Chlcago News,
Waked Them Up.
It la related of an eccentric chaplain
to a foreign court tbut he became so
annoyed In consequence ot bis. audience, or. rather, congregation, making a practice of going to sleep during
bis sermons that he resorted to the following "awakening" expedient. In tbe
midst of one of bis sermons be drew
forth a hnrnionlcon from his pocket
and began to play. The one or two
wbo were still uwake. astonished to
Bee such n performance lu a pulpit
awoke tliime wbo slept, nnd pretty
soon everybody was lively as well iis
being filled with wonder. Tbis was
the preacher's opportunity, for he at
once commenced a most severe can-
tlgntory discourse. In tbe course of
which be snid, "When I announce to
you snered and Important troths you
nre not nshnmed to gn to Bleep, but
whop I piny the fool you nre all eye
and ear."
Tho Safest Way.
"You never show your age!"
She blushed prettily.
"Well, I'm sure." she snid, "It's kind
1 of you to say so."
"Yes," resumed the older womnn,
closing the family Bible. "It's been
Bcrnlched out some time, hasn't It?"—
Atlanta Constitution.
His Structure.
Frayed Frederick—Dere's n ole nay-
in' dnt ev'ry guy Is de nrkerteet uv his
own forehune.
Tattered Theodore—Pnt's right. Py
beln' ekernomlc/in' savin' I've built np
n coloBlcnl pile dat looks like twenty-
free cents.—Boston Transcript.
No One to Run It.
The agent lind dwelt eloquently nnd
nt eome length upon the superior merits of the hen ter he was trying to Introduce Into the homes of Snymnnth,
hut the woman nt the door hnd looked
thoughtfully Into the distance, away
from his compelling eyes, ns she listened.
"Why." snid the ngent nt Inst, "a
child could run that heater."
"We hnve no children." «nld tho
womnn conclusively ns she shut tbe
door nnd locked It.-Yocth'a Coropan-
Hurried  It Up.
"Didn't you propose to her sooner
than you expected?"
"Yes; but. you see, old mrtn, I didn't
wnnt to exhaust nil my topics of conversation before we were married."—
New York Life.
Letting the Cat Out.
"Sny. grnnrtmn. mnke n noise like •
frog," conxed little Tommy,
"Whnt for, my enn?"
"Why, pnpn snys thnt when you
crnnk we'll get $5,000."-Success Magazine.
The Difference,
Knlcker-Why the dlekena baa II
token you an eternity to dress?
Mn. Knlcker-And when It took yotj
five ronra ti prrpce 1 •.*]&, "This la so
ft)Cdtn,"-Nrw York Bun,
[Copyright. 1909, by Associated Literary
Gilbert Butler whistled softly as he
strode ulong tbe road tbnt bright May
morning. When the white gate of the
Plimpton farm gleamed In the distance be paused for a brief Instant
and tbe whistle died away luto silence.
"Sbe loves me. 1 know she does.
It's nothing but sheer contrariness to
keep me dangling along. 1 swear I'll
settle this matter today or"- Gilbert
paused und swallowed hard. Then bis
big brown clinched fist fell to his side
and be resumed his walk.
The Widow Plimpton sat on tbe step
of the side porch making flower
wreaths—heaps of yellow eyed daisies, dark green Ivy and box, an urro-
ful of purple lilies, a mass of syringe
blooms and a few very early roses
which the hot month bad forced into
"Good morning," said Gilbert Butler
from tbe stone wall
Widow Plimpton raised a sweet face
to bis, a face framed in dusky bnlr,
"IT'S   ALL   810HT   NOW, THKN. AIN'T   IT?"
wltb cheeks like pink roses and golden
brown eyes. "Good morning, Gilbert,"
she said gravely.
"Going to the cemetery, 1 see," said
Butler disagreeably."
"Of course.   It is Memorial day."
"You go tbere every Sunday, too,"
said Gilbert quickly.
Anna Plimpton crimsoned Indignantly. "Wby shouldn't 1?" sbe asked
"It's u heathenish custom. Ain't It
enough that George Plimpton should
hnve got killed down tbere in Cuba
fighting those Spaniards and tben to
be brought home and burled witb military honors, and just because you're
his wldder"—
"Because I am his widow 1 shall
continue to express ray love and respect for bis memory by visiting bis
grave as often as 1 please. You must
lie very small minded. Gilbert Butler,
to grudge a few flowers to a dead soldier."
Ullbert reddened to his ears, and his
blue eyes fln-ibed ominously. "I don't
grudge the flowers. Anna." be said
wltb slow deliberation, "but It seems
to me If you could spare a little kindness to some folks that are alive,
meaning myself, it would make more
real happiness.' George, he's been deed
nine yenrs. and I been coming to see
you for five of 'era."
Widow Plimpton rose to ber feet nnd
daintily shook the broken leaves and
Btems from her white gown Tben she
slipped four wrentbfl over her arm and
descended the mops."
"I'm going up tn the graveyard now.
Gilbert, will you' go with me?" she
asked gently.
"I can't" be snid nlmost roughly.
"You're not treating me fairly. Anna.
If I were dead up (here in the graveyard you'd come and put flowers on
my mound, but just because I'm alive
you grudge me one bit of happiness.
You hnve never given me nn answer to
tbat question I usked you."
Anna Plimpton bit her red lip reflectively. "If you will go home nnd think
the matter nwr quietly perhaps you
may discover why your question may
not have been answered "
She went out of tbe gate and disappeared up the white path that led to
the cemetery on the hill.
Gilbert stared nfter her with fnscl-
tinted eyes until she disappeared
among the clustering cednrs; then he
took ber ndvlce and went bome.
All that dny he wrestled with the
problem Whnt reason could there he
for Anna's withholding thnt long delayed and coveted "Yes?" Was be not
Industrious, of good habits, possessed
of comfortable means nnd not III look.
Ing? And there wnsn't another living
mnn whom Anna bad fnvored wltb ber
smiles, nnd yet—
"By thunder!" he exclnlnied nt last.
"It must he becnuse I'm bo all fired
menn spirited ns to he Jealous of a
dend rrnn. She's Been It right nlong
nnd despised me for It"
He sot there nn hnpr nnd thought
deoulv. At Inst he went into the house
and opened tbe doot  or tne sitting
In the square bow window luxuriating In the waning sunlight were Aunt
Heppy's cat la lilies. Twelve stately
! plants they were, and each one bore
(two snowy blossoms, twenty-four in
jail. Aunt Heppy bad nursed them tenderly all winter, and uow—they were
| rewarding ber care.
| Deliberately hs drew out bis knife
! and cut tbe lilies from the plants. As
I he turned away with bis arms full of
the long stemmed beauties the doqr
opened and .Aunt Heppy's horrified
eyes fastened upon bim.'
"Gilbert Baker, are you crazy?" she
"1 guess I nm." snid Gllhert dryly as
he reached Into his pocket and drew
forth u five dollar bill. "I've got to
have these, Aunt Heppy. You take
this mupey—the sewing society's seen
tbe lilies anyway—you won't miss
He wns gone, and Aunt Heppy sank
Into n cbnlr nnd looked dnzediy from
the five dollar bill over to tbe denuded
plants In the window.
"For the Innd's sake! The boy's
crazy!" she ejaculated nt ln»t, tucking
the money nway In her pocket
Just ns the red sun dipped behind
the high cemetery hill Gilbert Bnker
tolled wearily up the wblte path. In
his arms be beld a rude wooden cross,
to which he had clumsily tied the calla
lilies. Some of tbe snowy bloom was
marred by his awkward fingers, but
bis patient labor hnd not been In ruin,
fnr at a little distance tbe white cross
shone a lovely symbol.
Tbe cemetery was deserted. Over
In tbe Plimpton plot he saw a glimpse
of purple flowers and slowly made his
wav Into the space Inclosed In a hedge
of arbor vltae.
On the low grassy mound were laid
Anna's offerings—wreaths of daisies
and box. syrlnga and ivy. purple lilies
and evergreen. A little flag was stuck
In nn iron standard at the head of the
young soldier's grave. .
Gilbert solemnly laid his cross on the
other emblems. "I made a cross he-
cause be wub Episcopal," he muttered
softly. '
When he straightened up bis startled
eyes looked straight into the soft
brown ones of Anna Plimpton.
"I—1 didn't know you were bere. I
thought everybody was gone," he said
awkwardly, fingering his hat
"I enme hack to look ot It again,"
she said softly. "Whnt a beautiful
cross! Did you make it Gilbert?"
He nodded curtly. "I took your advice. Anna, and thought things over,
nnd 1 guess the reason you won't give
me an answer Is because I'm such a
low down. Jeolous minded foql. I
didn't feel quite so mean after that,
nnd I wanted to show him"— He ges
tured toward the grave,
Anna enme nnd stood beside him. "I
hnve been sorry, you felt thnt wny
nbout him." she said ln a queer little
voice, "hut that ia not the rennon why
I hnve never answered your question,
"Wbat Is the reason, tben?" be demanded. '     \       (
"Because—because you have never
asked me any question thnt I could
answer. Gllhert." she half sobbed.
"You hnve beaten around and around
the hush and"- She hid her face
against his rough coat sleeves.
"Why-why. It's all rirrbt now. then,
ain't it?" he naked hazardly as bis arm
encircled ber waist
"I hope he don't mind," aaid Gilbert
after a little while.
"I'm sure he doesn't" replied Anna
sweetly as they passed out of tbe little
And even then Gilbert Butler did not
realize that he bad not nsked tbe
proper question.
The Furnishings Should Be Sim'
pie, Artistic and Inexpensive.
Thinking of Her.
In the "Ilecollectlons of n New England Town" Is tbe story ot Mr. Bush,
on Inventor nnd a very studious man.
wbo sometimes became so absorbed In
thought us tn forget botb  place and
i people.   Hla wife waa a notable house-
I keeper, bnt she did not always go to
I church.   One Sunday she accompanied
■ her  busband  thither, and  glad   and
! proud wos he.   But wben the service
j was over he walked away home, leav-
I Ing   her   behind.   Mrs.   Brush   was
! grieved.
"My dear." sbe snid when sbe reached the house, "I don't know what people will think. You came away without mc.   It was plain to be seen that I
I was entirely forgotten."
Mr. Bush looked at ber ln comical
dismay. "Forgotten, my denr?" said
he. "Oh. no. 1 don't think that's possible. Why," a brilliant Idea striking
hlm, "now I remember. 1 was thinking of you nil tbe way hotqe. 1 was
thinking what u good dinner you'd
give me!" 	
Brillat-Sovorin'i Sleepy Sitters.
Brlilut-Siiviirln.  the  French   writer,
hnd two spinster sisters, wbo found ns
mucb pleasure In sleeping as the author  of  the  "Physlologle duGout"
found In eating.   They  lived In the
country nnd were In the bnblt of passing ten months of the year In their
beds, lenvlng them only to prepare for
the annual visit of their brother, who
Invariably arrived on Oct 1.   He remained with tbem until the ,end of
November, when they bade blm fure-
| well wltb tbe words. "Goodby till next
year. Anthleme: we nre going back to
bed."   This somnolent regime agreed
with them ndmlrnbly. for they both
lived to a great age, one of them. Pierrette,  attaining  her hundredth year.
I Pierrette's end. according to her broth-
j cr's biographer,   was worthy of her
! life.  She was sitting up In bed entlng
! her   dinner   nnd.   not   being   served
I quickly  enough, screamed, somewhat
angrily, "Bring the dessert."    When
the servant brought it she found her
mistress dead.
In Floor Coverings an Arts and Craft*
Square Is Very Satisfactory For Living or Dining Rooms—Mission Chair*
and Demin Hangings Effective.
For furnishing a bungalow there is
plenty of simple, inexpensive furniture
available, and It' only requires a little
thougbt on the part of the owner to<
make her rooms comfortable and cozy.
Next to simplicity of design, harmony*
of color is the most Important consideration. In a llvinoj room bung
with Japanese grass cloth ln a light
green shade or tinted a soft brownish
gray the cushions of the armchairs and
window seat should be ot dark green
or some otber equally good contrasting:
jS- .H.--T*r ■     1
§11 i% 1.1
color, and the rugs upon the floor
should be of corresponding tones, but
light, fudable tints sbould never he*
employed lo conjunction wltb sucb a
wall treatment.
Tbe Illustration shows a charmingly
furnished living room. The walls are-
hung ln dark green grass cloth, and
tbe woodwork ia stained white. The
fireplace at one side ot the room is-
constructed of red brick laid tn white
mortar, and the narrow mantel shovels stained to match the woodwork.
Simple white muslin curtains shade
the long, narrow wlndowB, wliich open
outward, and a few prints and a small
mirror adorn the walls. The couch and
chairs ot polished hard wood, wltb rattan backs and seats, are fitted with
cushions covered witb denim in tones
that* harmonize wltb the wall hangings. An arts and crafts desk and
stool, painted white, stand ln one corner, and four small tables serve as receptacles for magazines and various*
knlckknacks. A large rug in shades
of green and red is placed before the
fireplace and adds a note of brightness to a very pretty whole.
In the choice of floor coverings for
the bungalow tbere is a varied supply"
to choose from. For tbe living room a
large art square of wool and cotton
weave Is very suitable. It comes liir
various shades and can be purchased**
for $15. It will last four or five seasons, An arts and crafts art square la-
very satisfactory for either the living-
room or dining room and can be purchased at any handcraft sbop for $'.'(>.
It can be made to order tn any shade-
and design desired nnd will wear longer thnn the majority of floor coverings;
and always look well.
Then there Is a large brown wool
rug which comes with a border of
brown and yellow and whlcb Is admirably suited for a room wbere the mission type of furniture is employed. as
Is a Scotch rug, a woolen product,
finished alike on botb sides, whlcb
comes In various sizes, the 0 by 12 size
costing $30.
Picture Pad.
A stationery tiovelty whlcb la calnr-
lnted to make the modern youngster
enjoy his writing exerclBe is an unusual writing pad. Tbe novelty Hcb Ii>
the cover, wliich Ib decorated wllb six
different decalcomanin pictures. Tbese
are intended to be cut out wben tin.
tnblet is cxbnusted and transferred tn
cardboard or boxes by the process
whicb every child Is familiar with.
There are several different sets of
pictures used on the pads. Ope group
consists of Indian heads; another
thows a menngerle and »»* -whei •
spirited circus. THE   REPORTER,   NEW   MICHEL,   BRITISH   COLUMBIA.
A Labor-Saving Device
Joseph H. Choate, at a recent banquet in New York, praised Attorney-
General Wickersham.
"When this able man fights," he
said, feathers will fly. But he won't
fight until he has a grievance. There
will be nothing spectacular, nothing
burlesque, about his battles."
Mr. Choate smiled.
"No," he snid, "we shall see nothing
o! Broncho Bill in Attorney-General
AVickersham. Broncho Bill, you know,
hnd only one eye.
" 'Lose it?' Bill thundered. 'Did
you sny 'lose it?'
" 'Why—er~yeB,' laltered the tenderfoot.
" 'Lose it he hnnged,' snid Bill ferociously. 'I cut it out so's I wouldn't
•alius he havin' to shut it in drawin' a
"bend.* " j.
H .ivory housekeeper would use Wil-
•son's Fly Pads freely during the Summer months the house fly peril would
-soon be a thing of the past.
Teacher—Johnnie, do you know
what, a blotter is?
Johnnie—Yessum. It's de t'ing wot
-youse hunts fer while de ink gets dry
—Chicago Daily News.
"Minard's Liniment Cures Diphtheria.
The thin, nnle mnn sighed. "Wh"."
nsked his friend, ""re vou so sad?"
"Alas!" he answered, "th" sen is the
prnvo of my first 'fife." Th" friend's
lips curled superciliously. "But you
eve mnrrind again." b" murmured
"Yes," sn'd the thin, nnle one, "aid
my second wife won't go near the
An Oil Without Alcohol.—Some oils
and mnny medicines hnve alcohol ns o
prominent ingredient. A judicious
mingling of six essential oils compose
'the famous Dr. Thomas' Ecloctric Oil.
nnd there is no nlcohol in it, ho that
its effects nre lnstine. There is no
medicinal oil compounded tbnt can
equal this oil in its preventive and
healing power.
Expert Diagnosis
A student at a medical college wns
under examination. The instructor
asked him: "Of wru*t cause, specifically did the peonle die who lost their
lives nt the destruction of Herculan-
eum and Pompeii?"
"I think they died of an eruption,
sir," answered the student.
Cool, Delicious
and Refreshing
Iced, with a dash of lemon In it.
Isr trouble can
an be
tide Bone or i
stopped wltb
Fall dlre-ElIons In psmphlst with ikeh
—■- -—fli bottlestdulmordellverol.
jM AilSOKBlSli.TR., for mended, II
W\ ■bottle, removes Pllnfal Swelling, Jtn-
^nW leried QUads. Goitre. Wees, Bralsts, Vart
ease VOIDS, Verieosltlos, Old Bores, Alio* ■ Pile.
W. F. IMM, MA. in lead! It., StrlejM, Mm.
Vnust US., Beatreel, CauSlea ls.sU.
tlss hralBhH II Msrlle hie I Wrist Is., WMns;
Ins NsHsstl ami 1 Ctw»csl St.. Mm led Cstjilf;
est HudirsN Ires. Ce. ttd.. VlMeevtr.
"Anchor" Brand "Weitmount"
a lor 21c.
•Iron Frame" Brand "Almonte"
Humans  Who  Seem  Lower   Iii  tha
Scale Than African Baboons.
Pygmy human beings who live like
animals and seem lower in the scale
than African baboons were discovered
in the mountain solitudes of Northern
Chins by Dr. W. E. Geil, an American explorer, and writer, who has
just returned to this country. The
discovery was made in the course of a
caravan journey along the entire extent of the Great Wall of China,, 1,800
miles, and it confirmed the legend
that far in the interior dwelt a race
of hairy dwarfs—the kind df beings
described by Marco Polo and Baron
Munchausen with damage to their reputations foT veracity. But the dwarfs
exist, and ancient inscriptions on the
Great Wall, deciphered for Dr. Geil
by Chinese scholars, profess to explain their origin. Back in 210 B.C.
the Emperor Chin decided that his
country needed protection from the
fierce Tartar tribes on the west and
north, and he ordered the building of
a horse shoe shaped barrier thousands of miles in length to inclose the
empire irom sea to sea.. A work more1
monumental than the erection ol all I
the Egyptians pyramids and temples
was begun. Millions of Chinese toiled at the Great Wall, cutting and laying granite blocks for the first courses
and making brick for the superstructure. The towers were built first, and
they served as military blockhouses
While the connecting walls were put
Kept at their job by strict compulsion, the millions of laborers were inspired by the fear of an unusual penalty for error or rebellion. The work-1
man who made a mistake or listened
to agitators was promptly incorporated in the wall as ao much building,
material. Burying alive proved to bej
good discipline with a majority of
the laborers, obviating strikes and'
discontent, but some of them rani
nway to the remote forests on the Tibetan border. They took their wivesj
and children with them. So affected!
were they by their terrible experience
that some of them went crazy, and,
the rest hod such a hard fight for
existence that they deteriorated physiJ
cully, transmitting dwarfishness to1
their present day descendants. Tho
Chinese legend to this effect may-not
be entirely astray, since it is likely
that deserters from the army of labor,
fled to the forests and that the hardships of a wild, isolated life should:
have had effect on them after many]
generations. The dwarfs have long1
nails, terrible faces and resemble*
■apes. Dr. Geil believes that the
Great Wall has never been entirely
explored in modern times previous W
his expedition last year. He found a
i stretch of 200 miles that had not been
; mapped. At places the Great Wall
j climbed to a height of two miles
above sea level. There were evidences of monumental barriers antedating Emepror Chin's celebrated inclosure. .
The Dwelling of the Void.
There is still enough unexplored
land in the world to make a new continent if lumped together. For instance, within ten days' journey from
London by modern express routes
there is a tract of country the size
of Germany, France and Holland
combined and as unknown as the
Mountains of the Moon. It occupies
nearly the whole of central southerns
Arabia. This pleasing district is
known as the Dahkna, or the "Dwelling of the Void," and consists of what
Lord Salisbury once politely referred
to as "chiefly light soil" when he
was speaking of the French possessions in Africa. It is a mighty waste
of sand, with not a single river—so
far as can be judged—in more than
400,000 square miles. Compared with
this country the Sahara is a pleasant
and fruitful tract. It defies even
the Arab aud the camel—Westminster
Belaying Hia Jaws.
Shark stories, with some reason, are
commonly roceived with incredulity.
A well authenticated anecdote, how-
ever, is told of Dr. Frederic Hill, un
English surgeon of distinction. A
man fell overboard in the Indian
Ocean and almost into a shark's
mouth. Hill, who was standing close
to the rail, grabbed a belaying pin
and without hesitation jumped to
Bave the sailor. The great brute was
just turning on his back to bite when.
Hill drove the belaying pin right
through both jaws. Both men were
got on board again unharmed.
"Perhaps that fellow won't want
another toothpick. Has any one got
a clean shirt to lend? This wus my
lost," were the only words ol the
The Pig In Water.
Of pigs it is commonly reported
that bo queerly fashioned are they
that if they uttempt to swim they
cut their throats with their fore feet,
but this is only an old wile's fable.
Whether wild or tame, they are all
good swimmers, though, owing to the
shortnesa ol their legs, they just.
touch their throats with their lore
feet and beat the water very high,.
Many ol the islands ol the southern
seas are now inhabited by wild pigs,
which are the descendants of those
which have swum ashore, sometimes
great distances, from wrecked vessels.
Tho First Kindergarten.
The first kindergarten was opened
by Froebel in 1837 at Brandenburg,
Germany, and fifteen years after-'
ward he died. This short period was
sufficient to establish a system of
education that has made life different lor little children. When the'
King of PrusBia in 1851 forbade the
establishment of kindergartens the
old man died ol a broken heart, not1
dreaming that his life work had been
a noble success.
If You Rid
By awakening tho liver and kidneys,
you will be freed of pains, aches
and the tired  spring feeling.
Poisons only accumulate in the
blood. Pain and aches have the same
Poisons only accumulate in the
blood when the liver and kidneys get
torpid ond slow in action ond when,
as a result, the bowels become constipated.
Get the liver and kidneys working
right and away go the poisons. That is
their work, to rid the.blood of poisons.
When- they fail because of the excessive accumulation of pqisons in the
spring, use Dr. Chase's Kidney-Liver
Pills and they will soon resume their
natural functions with renewed energy and vigor.
No other otgans of the body can
tiiter the poisons from the blood, so
you must get the liver and kidneys
active if you are going to restore
healthful digestion, regular bowel action arid free the body of pains, aches
and feelings of fatigue and depressing.
It is only natural that the liver and
kidneys should give out in the spring
when the blood is usually loaded with
impurities, but you can quickly and
certainly set them right by using Dr.
Chase's Kidney-Liver Pills.
This is the greatest nf spring medicines, because it is unique in its direct and combined action on the liver
and kidneys.
Put it to the test this spring and
you will be astonished at its wonderfully prompt and thorough action on
-the digestive ana excretory systems.
You can be certain that it will move
the bowels, awaken the action of the
liver and kidneys and completely purify the blood. One pill a dose, 25 cts.
a box, at all dealers or Edmanson,
Bates & Co., Toronto.
What He Remembered
"An' ye fell from a window, Jerry?
How far wuz it ye fell?"
"Tin stories."
"Well, well! That was a great fall.
And what did you think on your way
"Begorry, I didn't think of nothin'
until I passed th' lift' shtory. Thin I
renumbered I left me pipe* on the window sill."
Wise mothers who know the virtues
of Mother Graves' Worm Exterminator always have it at hand, because it
proves its value.
I Turn About
"Some people," grumbled Groucher,
"make me sick." ■ "I should think
nearly everybody would make you
sick," replied Digps. "Indeed? Why?"
"Reciprocity, you know."—The Catholic Standard and Times.
Minard's Liniment Cures Garget in
The Acorn.
Take a large acorn, suspend it by a<
thread so aa to nearly touch the water in any glass vesacl, set it upon
your mantelshelf, bracket or table
and let it stand thore for about two
months without in any way interfering with it excepting to supply fresh
water. Tho acorn will burst, throw
a root down into the water nnd a
stem upward, sending out from the
stem beautiful green leaves.
Teacher—I wonder what your mother would say if she knew how backward you are in geography?
Girl—Oil, my mother snys she never
learnt jogfry and she's married; and
Aunt Sally snys she never learnt jog-
fry and she's married; and you did
and you ain't.—Punch.
Try Murine Eye Remedy
For Bed, Weak, Weary, Watery Eyes,
Granulation, Pink Eye nnd Eye Strain.
Murine Doesn't Smart; Soothes Eye
Pain. Is Compounded by Experienced
Physicians; Contains no Injurious
or Prohibited Drugs. Try Murine for
Your Eye Troubles. You Will Like
Murine. Try it in Baby's Eyes for
Scaly Eyelids. Druggists Sell Murine
nt 50c. Murine Eye Remedy Co.,
Chicago, Will Send You Interesting
Eye Books Free.
Trnte Pnrent—Am I to understand
there is some idiotic affair between
you nnd thnt impecunious young ass,
Lord Bilaris?
Fair Daughter (very sweetly)—Only
you, papa!—Illustrated Bits,.
The transition from winter's cold to
summer's heat frequently puts a strnin
upon the system that produces internal complications, always painful
nnd often serious. A common form of
disorder is dysentery, to which many
arc prone in the spring and summer
The very best medicine to use in sub
duing this painful nilment is Dr. J. D
Kellogg's Dysentery Cordial. It is a
standard remedy, sold everywhere.
"I want to get this cheque cashed,"
said the fair young matron, appearing
nt the window of the paying teller.
"Yes, mndnm. You must endorse it,
though, explained the teller.
"Why, my husband sent it to me.
He iR away on business/' she said.
"Yes. madam. Just endorse it—sign
it on the bnck so we will know and
your husband will know we paid it to
She went, to the desk against the
wall and in n few moments presented
the chcoue triumphantly, having written on its back:
"Your loving wile, Edith."-Chicago
Evening Post.
-"DODD'S '/
'GHT'S   0'S~>
W. N. U., No. 751
Greatest Aristocrat  In the Celestial
The father of the infant Emperor
of China, who is acting as Regent
during his son's minority, is doing
much.to abolish the distinctions between the Manchus and the Chinese.
Until now the Manchus, that is to
Bay, the conquering race, to which
the reigning dynasty belongs', have
enjoyed all sorts, ot special privileges
before the law, now all will be treated alike. Should the regent carry
into effect his intention of betrothing his son, the three-year-old emperor, to a maiden of pure Chinese
blood, probably either a daughter or
granddaughter of China's "Holy
Duke," instead of to one of the Man-
chu prinqesses from whom the monarch's consorts have until now been
chosen, he will have made a long
step toward reconciling the bulk of
the Chinese people to the reigning
dynasty and toward obliterating the
antagonism that exists between the
Chinese nnd the Manchus.
The Holy Duke is fully alive to
the advantages of reform. A man
about fifty years of age, and seventy-
sixth in unbroken descent in the
male line from Confucius, he may
be regarded as the most Hue blooded nobie in the, world, the more so
as he is- still in possession. of the
landed property which' belonged to
the illustrious founder of his house
more than/three thousand years ago;
that ib to sny, some twelve centuries
before the birth of Christ. The property is situated in the province of
Shantung, and it comprises the tomb
of Confucius at Kyfu and his rest
dence. The duke is very rich, since
each generation of emperors, Chinese
as well as Manchu, has lavished gifts
unon the "Holy Duke" of its day.
This one's name is Kung Lingi, that
is to say, Duke Lingi, arid his official designation is Sheng Kung,
which means "Holy Duke." He is
a tall, heavy faced Chinaman, of
somewhat massive build, with n
rather majestic presence and a good
humored face, the mouth inclined to
laughter and in keeping with the
shrewd cheery eyes. Though regarded as a saint, he is a very jovial
saint, and extremely fond of all the
good things of life. Every now and
again he visits Pekin, where he is received with imposing honors, nnd on
these occasions he does not disdain
to travel by rail.
Little Tales Which Are Enjoyed by
His Subjects.
William II. of Germany has many
acts of kindness to the poor to his
credit. One day at the palace of
Potsdam he noticed that one of the
sentries seemed very melancholy.
With much hwitation the man told
his story, hov» he had been on the
point of getting married when he
lost all his money and now hardly
hoped ever to realize his dreams.
The emperor, after inquiry had
proved that the man was speaking
the truth, gave him a generous present for the expenses ol hiB wedding,
promoted him corporal and found a
place for his wife in the service of
the empress.
A poor sewing woman at Cologne,
finding it impossible any longer to
earn her living with a worn out old
sewing machine, appealed to the
emperor for assistance. A week later
a new machine with all the latest
improvements reached her Irom her
When the kaiser told Prince von
Buelow he»was to be chancellor it
was evident from Buelow's face that
something about the appointment
did not nlogethet. please bim.
The emperor pressed him to tell
what it was, ahd Von Buelow
reluctantly explained that greatly as
his wife- would rejoice in finding her
husband appointed chancellor, she
detested the palace of the chancel-
lerie, as she was a great housewife
and he waa sure that the thought of
the two or three months that would
be needed to clean the immense
palace to the pitch she would want
to would terrify her.
"Don't let that bother you, my
dear Von Buelow. Present my compliments to the princess and tell her
that it will be a great pleasure to me
to contribute to making that job leBS
difficult to her."
It was not a regiment ol soldiers
.detailed for house cleaning purposes
that came to the princess, only a
small parcel, which on being opened
was found to contain a hundred
pieces of soap.
Love's Young Dream.
The Stern Parent-And if you marry this young Littlecash where do
you propose to live?
The Girl—Why, George says we are
goingfto live at tho same hotel where
he lives now.
The Parent—Don't you know it
costs a great deal to live at a hotel?
The Girl—Why, no, papa; it won't
cost any more. George says that if
you know how to order one portion is
ample for two persons. I really won't
be the least bit of a burden on
George, papa.
That Is the Difference.
"Now, then, boys, if you had to address u large box ol tea on the one
hand and a schoolmaster on the other, what would be the difference in
your form of salutation? Of course
you will reply 'We don't know.' Well,
we will tell you. A large box ol tea
you would address as 'thou teachest,'
and a schoolmaster you would salute
with 'thou that teachest." Thia is
the difference, you see."—London
The Remedy.
The Grand Duke of Mecklenburg
was one day gambling ut the Dobcr
an tables and wus betting on tho
same numbers as a rich master potter who stood noxtito him.
Both having lost their money, the
grand duke inquired, "Well, potter,
what shall we do now?"
"Oh," replied the maBtcr potter,
"your highness will screw up the
taxes, and I,shall make pots."
He  Tried  to  Follow Orders as He
Understood Thorn.
The major dropped into his club
in London one night with three
pieces of courtplaster on his nose
and an eye in half mourning and
was vainly importuned to divulge the
cause. He declined all confidences,
but one friend, to whom, in a weak
moment, he related the circumstances
under which he had received his
scars, told all about it after the
major's departure.
It appears that he was stopping at
an out-of-tbwn hotel where a brawny
farmer's son had been engaged with
no experience in hotel work, but
with a frame capable of caring for
his master's property during the
small hours and with a profound
sense of duty as well. The weather |
was cold, and the major asked the
landlord to have a fire made in his
room at 6.30 the next morning. As
is customary, a slate was hung in
the hallway containing directio* for
the night porter regarding the time
guests were to be called to catch
early trains, etc., so the landlord
wrote upon the slate:
"Fire 40 at 6.30."
Next morning the major was awakened by a loud knock at his door.
He shouted "Come in," for it was
6.30, and the porter entered.
"You're to git out," he Baid briefly.
"What do you mean?" asked the
major testily.
"I'll show ypu phwhat I mane,"
remarked Pat, "if you don't git
mighty quick. I've orders to fire you
out at 6.30, and out ye go."
"What kind ol a fool are you anyway?" shouted the major, sitting up
in bed.
"I am all kinds," responded the
porter, i "bjjt I obey orders juBt the
same, and out you go."
Suiting the action to his words, he
grabbed .the major by the neck and
hauled hlm out into the middle of
the room.
"Now drisB yourself," said Pat,
"and driBs quick or Oi'U throw you
out as ye are."
The major began to storm and
used language not to be repeated,
whereupon the exasperated and honest porter sprang upon his victim
and shot him into the hall like a
bundle of raga. The major's clothes,
traveling bags, rugs, etc., followed.
"Now," said Pal, "if ye don't driss
in foivo minuteS out ye go in the
strate as ye were born!"
And out the major would have
gone, but the landlord, disturbed by
the noise, came and rescued him
from his formidable persecutor. And
that was the result of Pat's interpretation of "Fire 40 at 6.30."
The Blood Supply Must be Kept Rick,
Red and Pure—Good Blood
Means Good Health,
Healthy girlhood is thi only path
to healthy womanhood. The merging
ol girlhood into womanhood lays a
new tax upon the blood. It iB the
overtaxing of the scanty blood sunply
that mokes growing girls Buffer from
all those headaches, backache/ and
sideaches—all that paleness, weakness
nnd weariness—all that languor, despondency and constant ill hea!'.n.
Unhealthy girlhood is bound to
lead to unhealthy womanhoou and a
life of miserv. Nothing but the blood-
building qualities ot Dr. Williams'
Pink Pills con save "n girl when she
undertakes the trials and tasks ol
womanhood. That is the time when
nature makes new demands upon the
blood supply. Dr. Williams' Pink
Pills actually make new, rich blood
which meets tboBe new demands with
ease. In this simnle scientific way
Dr. Williims' Pink Pills fill a cirl
with overflowing health and strength.
Miss Eva Dennis, Amherst. N78.,
says:—"Dr. Williams' Pink Pills have
done me n world of good. I was com.
**letoly run down, wns very pale, easily tired and suffered from frequent
severe hendaches. Though I tried
mnnv medicines I got nothing to do
me the inn«t good until I began using
fir. Willioma' Pink Pills. Even the
first box of these seemed to help me,
"nd alter taking a half dozen boxes
I was again a strong healthy girl.
I have not had any illness since, but
shonld I atom feel run down Dr.
WillinmB' Pink Pills will be my only
medicine, and I strongly recommend
them to every weak and ailing girl."
Dr. Williams' Pink Pills are sold bv
all medicine dealers or sent by mail
at 5" cents It bnr or Bix hoxe«, for'$t?.50
by The Dr. Williams' Medicine Co.,
Brockville, Ont.
A  Puzzling Fly.
"A funny thing occurred here one
day," said a barber as he was putting the finishing touches on a hair
cut. "A fellow came in to be shaved
who was somewhat under the influence of intoxicants. He took his
place in the chair, and all proceeded well till I had shaved one side of
his face, when he stopped me.
" 'Hold on-' he eried. 'I want this
thing splained.'
"I asked him what was the matter, and he replied: 'There's a fly
on my cheek, and you have shaved
the lather and whiskers off, but the
fly didn't move. "Now, what's the
mazzer with him?'
"p told him there was no fly on
him, but he pointed to the mirror
and said; 'You think I can't see
him. I ain't so drunk that I can't
see a fly.'
"I turned to the glass, and there
stood the fly on the mirror nnd in
such a position that Irom my customer's range of vision, it seemed to
be on his cheek. He afterward said
that he had felt that fly tickling him
all the time and wondered how I
could shave underneath it and not
cut its legs off."
Fish That Cannot Swim.
More thnn one species of fish that
cannot swim are known to naturalists.
Perhops the moBt singular of these
is the maltha, a Brazilian fish, whose
organs of locomotion only enable it
to crawl or walk or hop. The anterior
(pectoral) fins of the maltha, which
are quite small, are not capable of
acting on the water, but can only
move backward and forward, having
truly the form of thin puwa. Both
these and the ventral and anal fins
are very different from the similar
fins in other fishes and could not serve
for swimming at all. Other examples
ot nonswimming fishes include the
sea horse, another moBt peculiarly-
shaped inhabitant ol tho sea, and the
Another Kind of Sauce
Lawyer—When you served the prisoner, did bo eat his   dinner   with
Hotel  Waiter—No.  sir;  he ate  it
with Worcester sauce.
Wire Wounds.
My mare, a very valuable one, was
bffdly bruised and cut by being caught
in n wire fence. Some of the wounds
would not heal, although I tried many
different medicines. Dr. Bell advised
diluted at flrst, then stronger as the
sores began to look better, until alter
tbree weeks, the sores have healed
and best of nil the hair is growing
well, and is NOT WHITE as is most
always the case in horse wounds.
'    F. M. DOUCET.
Dtiripg a trial in a county court it
became necessary that the exact position of a staircase in a large flour mill
should be explained to the jury. Mike
O'Connor, the curolaker of the building, was called. "You hnve been employed in these mills," said the solicitor, "for twenty years, nnd, of course,
you know exactly how the main staircase runs?" "Oi do, sor," replied Mike
confidently. "Then," continued the
solicitor, "I wish you would tell the
gentlemen of the jury how theBe stairs
run." "Gintlemen av the jury," said
Mike, turning with an oratorical air to
the jury-box. "Ye see it's loike this
wid thim stairs in thini mills. This is
how they run—When ye are down he-
low thim stairs they run un, and when
ye are, up they run do*n I
Gerlie—My brother is just awful; he
can't keep a halfpenny.
Bertie—He's .been keeping ten bob
of mine n long time now, anyway.
Staterooms and Portholes.
An experienced truveler warns tho
uninitiated against paying Irom $5 to
$20 extra for an outside stateroom on
ocean liners. The inside rooms she
has found to be perfectly comfortable
and perfectly ventilated, and the portholes ill the outside ones Bhe considers n doubtful advantage. "They
are kept locked," she Bays, "fhost ol
, the time unless the weather is very
j pleasant, and even in calm weather
I they sometimes ship a deluge ol Bait
water. Dirty water, too, swept Irom
a deck above by the cleaners, may
pour inlo a porthole of a room below,
nnd the noise Irom the deck is annoying." Why, then should one pay
extru for a porthole?"
Young Writer (to editor of newly,
established journal)—II you find this
little story available for your columns
I don't ask any pay for it beyond a
life subscription to your paper.
Editor—Hut, great goodness, young
man. you may live for fifty years!
Young Writer-»-Oh, I don't mean
during my life—during the life ol
your paper, you know I—London Tit-
Signs of Storms.
As stormy weather comes on, sen-
birds Hy inland in search ol focd;
wild (owl leave the marshy grounds
lor higher localities; swallows and
rooks fly low before and during bad
weather; frogs nre unusually noisy
before rain; sheep huddle together
ueur bushes and trees.
Frank J. CHENsr mokes oath that he a senior
Bsrtm-r ol the arm of F. J. CHtNtv 4 Co.. dome
Dullness In the City of Toledo, countr and But*
sti.re.jnl, snd that said firm will par the sum ol
ONE nl.'.'.'nru:ii DOLLAIts tor each and every
.... ot Catahhm (list cannot ba cured by tha use of
Hall's CATAhHlt (.'use.
Sworn to before me and subscribed In my presence,
this tu. day ot December, A. P.. 1811.
 ^M Moran Public.
Hall's catarrh Curs h taken Inumelly ind arts
dlreet:v upo:i the biood and mucous surlaoas ol V
nret.ni   send lor teallmonlala. tree.
F. 1. CHENEY 4 CO.. Toledo, ..
Sold by nil DniKlsls. *•**.
Take Ua..i Family I'lue lor c
<  ISA
"So you don't care for bnlhing?"
"Ton much ol a crush,  don't you
know."   "Weil, it would he nice if we
could    have    individual    oceans."—
Louisville Courier-Journal.
When Holloway's Corn Cure is applied to a corn or wart it kills the
roots and the callosity comes out without injury to the flesh.
"Every rainstorm," complained the
youthful pessimist, "means a postponed game."
"And every postponed game," pointed out tiie juvenile optimist, "means
a double-header."—Kansas City Journal.
Practically all Canadian druggists
grocers and general dealers sell Wilson's Fly Pads. II your storekeeper
does not. nsk him wby.
Teacher—1» It proper to sny, "I am
goin'* to the hull game?"
Johnny—No, ma'am.
Tenoher—Why not?
Johnny—Because I ain't got the
Mlnard's  Liniment Cures Colds, etc.
"And yet you cnl! this a perfectly
hon"sl game?" queried the girl in
white, risking just one more question.
"Sure." replied her escort, keening
his eye on the sphere putter. "Well,
then," she asked innocently, "couldn't
they arrest Hint mnn. if they wanted
'o. for stealing second?"—Boston Herald. ~THE MICHEL REPORTER
3-tonu a. JfljiKls, - manaqwu-eiyitor
Issued every Saturday, from office of
Publication, Northern Ave; New^Mlphel.
THE   REPOl^g,   NEW   flICHEL,   gRITISfj   COI.|J|iB|4.
One Cent a Word
Advertisements «ueh u ?aj Sale, To Let, Lost
Poano Wanted etc., Inserted at tbe uniform
rate oi One Cent a Word Bach Insertion
Rock Fell and Crushed   Him
No. 4 mine, main slope,
wag the scene of an accident
this morning. Mike t'ovic',' a
Slav, was pinned down by a
fall of rock, Wd Tom Ha'iiip-
ton went to his assistance.
Another fall of rock lolled
Povic, and Hampton had or*e
of hiB arms broken and was
badly bruised. He is in thp
In and Around Town
A Socialist convention will lie held in
Geo. Somerton, ot Frank, Bjent Sunday here.
JT. Pearie of Corbln was st the Jfoot
anay on Wednesday.
H. H. Depew, of Fernie wm here
on Wednesday,
A. C. Cumruings, of Fernie, fas
here on Tuesday,
Frank Jackson has returned Irom a
visit to Nanton, Alta.
Struther's grocery in Fernie was burnt
on Tuesday motning.'  Insurance,$8,000.
Geo. Dorenbecher, S. Dragon and
J. S. Gusty of Fernie, weie in tOTfii
on Tuesday.
A cow was struck by the flyer
here last night and was instantly
put out of business.
A contractor in new Michel has
secured the contract for the construction of 40 houses in McGilvray
A meeting of the base ball c\ub will be.
held in Somerton's hall on Monday night
at 8.30, to arrange for ajiall in Weber's
new store on Friday night. ;
J. E. Furshong, late of Frank, is
here on a business trip. Mr. Furshong has been trying to locate in
Corbin, but from what we can learn
he ia likely, like all the rest, to reside in New Michel.
Our advertisers will convoy u big lavor
if they will kindly get in their changes
of ad. early in the week. We want to
net out the paper Ihe first thing on Saturday morning, but wheu tho changes Ior
half a dozen ade. are rushed in on Friday, it is impossible to get it out as early'
»s dasired.
Tho9e who failed to attend the
ball given by the Canadian Club,
in the school-house last night,
misaed one of the events of the season. There was a good crowd, a
plentiful supply of good music and
refreshments, and the floor was in
elegant shape.
0, N. Wood, of the Imporial Bank,
while driving with Principal McLeod,
met with an ticciilont on Friday evening.
1 'oniing into collision with another rig,
their borse parted to run, und they eitii-
t osT.-VAMJittaV, wari, 'Necklace.
4J Finder please return to Heyortor office. -Lib.
entl reward.
■V husiness district.  Apply at this ofllce.
AT piNGp!
A Helioble Local Salosman Wanted to
Represent    • fi
Canada's Oldest aiid Greatest Nurseries
In Michel and adjoining Country,
We have been shipping stock for thirty
years to British Columbia, and aij our
trees are grown on "Limestone soil," they
are acknowledged by experienced fruit
growers to be longer lived, and hardier
than Coast stock '
"t permanent situation for right  man
'■    :     witb territory reserved   *
Pay weekly.    Free Outfit.
"'  "''     - particulars.
Write for
(Licensed by B. 0. Government)
er ■ jumped or were thrown ont. Mr.
McLf ou is limping around with a sprained
ankle, *r**hile 0. N. is nursing a hip aiid
a badly strained side.
The Oovernmont road gang are, completing their work for tht)Coal Co., 'and
will be, here next week to resume on the
public" roads. "
L. P. Eckstein, G- <*• Moffat,
Fred Johnsop and, E, H, Ban-rfell,
of Fernie, wore registered''at the
Great Northern pd Sunday. ;
The, Kootenay hotel still continues to
employ white labor only, not because
they dislike the Oriental, but because
they have a decided preference for white
J. D. Fink, H. D, Fink, J. B.
Henderson and W. H. Burton, bf
Cranbrook, came in pn Monday and
are up. the Elk on a fishing excursion.
M. Quain, manager of the Kpot-
enay Telephone Lines Co., Ltd.,
was here on Thursday. He ia arranging for a telephone exchange
for. the town. .
E. 8tubbs wus hero Thursday. He, is
employed on the Government road, and
ho looks just the same as ha did away
back in Fernie. Ed. is one of those fellows who niuke frieuds wherevor they go.
Good luck, Ed!
Ed, Stubbs' Bear Story
E. Stubbs, sportsman, was out in the
bush on Sunday, and hoard a dog coming through the woods, a large buck
ahead of him. The buck ran intoahtigc
black lieur, about a mile and a half
above Michel creek. The boar bad to
take back-wator, bat tho buck, in order
to get clear of the dog, bad to cross the
stream. The dog, finding himself in a
critical position took back to dry land
ami made himself scarce. Tbo huck
crossed the creek and got away, the
hear got hack Into tbe biiBh and Ed. got
home, ami the bear Btory is open  for a
Outfitting    storE
Will open in u Few Days with an Up-to date Stock of
Clothing, Furnishings, Boots & Shoes
We Carry Everything in Men's Wear
Watch for Our Opening -^Announcement
The  Summit
An Ideal Summer Resort
'■■*•' At CrovC'f Ne'rit'•"!■
This hotel, situated'at Crow's
Nest, about eight" miles' from
Michel/is just  the -place to
spend "'it week end and' enjoy
yourself.' Good'boating, bathing, fishing and big  menagerie and museum,' Fin's place
to go to, to get away from the
daily grind.' Leave- on Saturday  evening's  express- and
back Moijda'y morning iji time
for business,'-
Reasonable charges.
Andy Good, Proprietor
NEW MICHEL, 10.45 a. in., iu "-room
over Somerton Bro's store. .
MICHEL, Sunday" School,'' 2.30 n. m.
Evening service, at 7.SI0. Band of
Hope, every Moaday-at 7.30 p.*m.
" Rev. S. T,. Chenoweth, Pastor,
The pastor and officials extend' a cordial
invitation to you to' attend these services. •   ■'■  ■
'    MioHEL,   B. O.
Services—1st.  Sunday in  the  month,
Holy Communion, 11 a. m.
Every  Sunday, IJvpnBong, "t*.*30 p. m.
Sunday School, every Sunday, 2.30'p. m.
A. BriantN. Crowtlier, il. A/, Vicar.
unday:    Low Mass, 8 a. in.; High
Matu, 10.30 a. in.;'Sunday School, 3
p. a\,\ Vespers, 4 p. m.
Monday:   Mass, 8 a.' m.°
Rev. Fr. Mtjissner, Pastor
L, P. Eckstein
Barristers, Solicitors'Etc.
scientific investigation.
At a meeting of the Michel Water, light it Power Co., held in
Somertprt'e Hall on Tuesday night,
the following board of officers and
directors wpre appointed: President, A. J. McCool; Secy.-Treas.,
G. B. Stedman; Directors, T. B.
Baker, H. Sqmerton and A. Kennedy. Arrangement!! have been
made with A. C. Cumminga, for
plans and levels this week, and estimates will bo ready for the Company tp ask fpr tenders next week,
Hungarian Society Spoils
The Hungarian Society gave
their annual celebration here on
Monday, and as UBual it was a pro:
nbunced success, The Coleman
Brass Band, comprised ot the following, were in attendance all day
and livened up proceedings in good
stylo: A. Dragon, clarionette; A,
iaston, W, Crawford, D. Banks,
A. Milley, cornets; W, M. McLeod
1st cornet; P. Barnes, 2nd cornet;
L. Nightingale, Solo tenor; \V.
Konghead, 1st tenor; J. Stafford,
1st baritone, J. Holmes, solo
euphonium leader: R. Easton. solo
trombone; J. Boulton, 1st trombone
I). Rogers, 2nd trombone. J.
McLeod, 15b bass; H. Gates, Bass;
F, Boulton, snare-drum: O. Saville
bass drum.
The dancing pavilion was one of
the features of the day, and was
the scene of a lot of pleasure. The
program of sports, and the winners
in the several events havo been unavoidably crowded out.
Thou. Davis sends in many alluring reports from the Flathead
coal tieldB.
Mrs. Andy Gliod will leave the
1st pro.w, for an extended trip to
Seattlo and other coast cities.
Mr. C. E. KunBch has returned
from Perry Creek, where he has
been doing development work on
his placer claim.
B. F. Walling, of Nampa, Idaho,
together with Mr. Hayward, of
Pittsburg, Pa., are now leaving for
the Flfttnoad country.
",   i .ii , -p»-»^»"
l*eads ajl for Quality, Fit arid Prices
We. have just received Fall Samples
of th|s Pelebrate^ Mal^e pf Clothing
Every Semi-Read)? Qarment is Guaranteed
Ag«nt for
Business Bringers
Rcidlnv Notlen Inserted under this Heidlng
at the rate ot Ten Cents a Line, each insertion.   No ads Inserted 'amongst Locals.
QMOKE Crow's Neat Spocial and Extra.   Union
3 Mado Cioarn.
tiHIPPING Tafra, printed to ordor, good tounh
& stool-;, at the Itoportor ofllce.
■ENVELOPES.  Any auanttty, good stock, well
JJ printed, nt the Keporter office.
-STATEMENTS, Printed and  pndded  ub  you
w want them, at the Keporter ofllco.
LETTER Heads.   Plnln or Fancy.   Any rolor
Ink.  Printed aa you like them at tho Reporter ollice.
■DUSINE8S Cards, Finest work In the Pasa,
** Any alee and any oolor Ink you dealro. Printed at tho Reporter oflien.
PRINTING Ink. Wo can decorate your printing
f jobs with any color orsha'do of the finest Inks
in tho world. For lino color work send your
order to the Reporter.
Union Bakery
G. SOVRANQ, Proprietor
OLD TOWN, -   -   - MICHEL
Fresh Bread Delivered Daily
In stock and made to order
Fred. Pomaiiao,
Horseshoeing a Specialty
Messrs, Mbe, Reynolds and Henderson, of Taber, Alta., have engaged a pack-train of eleven horBes,
from Andy Good, and they will do
some development work in the Flathead.
Robt. M'allace and A. L. McKel-
vie, bf Lethbridge, are separating
the lakes and streams from many
large trout. Their catch yeBterday
was twenty-seven in two hours.
Both gentlemen are expert anglers.
Andy Good has engaged an orchestra to render selections in his
large pavilion Saturday night. The
dancing and other attractions are
free, and the dining hall will remain
open all night for the benefit of
I V^ Holding Co.,
Builders aud Contractors
Repairs and alterations promptly attended to.
Estimates cheerfully given,    ...   '..    .
(Sew Michel
Blairmore ^ ^ sale an
TniA#weif a    QVer Blairmore
I OWnSlte. Townsite,   :
by the only Real Estate man in Blair-
TY*IfsVP lf Interested, write for particulars
111 VIC. pfflcs on Main Street
A. McLeod, Blairmore
All J?indB of Lumber, lytouldingu, etc.—Fancy Windows,  Doors and
Verandah Posts in Stock and to Order.
Fernie Lumber Co., Ltd.   :-:   NewMichei
"Cailler's Swiss Milk Chocolates"
Best on Earth,
Ice Cream, Fruit and Candies,
RING'S    lyiTCHEN    New Michel.,
For  First  Class
Prince Rupert
Saskatoon, and
Lethbridge City Property,
Creston Fruit Lands, and
Farm Lands,
See, or write .
so yeahs"
BOX 08
those who desire an evening lunch,
__ Marm
CoPvmoHTS 40. i
" nnd r50ncrlntlqn Bfl
~ nether si
on Patents
anUrefcOlitnsliMnorforeecotlpepatent*.  •
Patente taken tnronih Mann * Co. rooelts
sftelalnotkt, without nbento, uttha
Scientific Umcrica
A hendsomelir Ulusttatcm woeklr. Latienelf-
eolation ot anr sclentlno Jonrnal. Terms tor
t'lneaa.jMBaTeer.fostajTolirepaltl.   Bold W
SU Waektiiteo,


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