@prefix edm: . @prefix dcterms: . @prefix dc: . @prefix skos: . edm:dataProvider "CONTENTdm"@en ; dcterms:isReferencedBy "http://resolve.library.ubc.ca/cgi-bin/catsearch?bid=1211252"@en ; dcterms:isPartOf "University Publications"@en ; dcterms:issued "2015-09-11"@en, "2013-10-31"@en ; edm:aggregatedCHO "https://open.library.ubc.ca/collections/Ubysseynews/items/1.0128280/source.json"@en ; dc:format "application/pdf"@en ; skos:note """ CMP LINK SPRING ASSAULTS Weekend attack reported as police connect April and May gropings ALL HALLOWS' EVE Parties, last-minute costume ideas, smart horror movies and more _ _ I»1YJ SIZED Campus building capacities will shrink — and so will campus parties k, UBC's basketball teams are out ■» » to trick their opponents and treat fQ themselves to some victories // Page 2 WHAT'S ON // THIS WEEK, MAYWE THURSDAY/31 We'vescouredonlinefor(almost) all of Thursday's parties so you can maximize the night. HALLOWEEN BASH 9 P.M.-l A.M. @ SUB PARTYROOM The AUS, EUS and SUS come togetherfordrinking, dancing and glowsticks. Talk to your faculty rep fortickets. $5,19+ FADED 9 P.M. @ THEAKOERNER HOUSE The CVC hosts an all-ages dance with a 19+ bar and two dancefloors. Contact byronm@ubccvc.com fortickets. $20-25 FRIGHT FEST 6 P.M.-10 P.M. @ INTERNATIONAL HOUSE The International Students Association and Jump Start boast a pumpkin carving contest and a haunted house. Snacks and drinks provided. Free RAD DAZE HALLOWEEN 8 P.M.-2A.M.@BILTM0RE CABARET DJs, live bands Jaguar and FunkDirty, F as in Frank costume contest, a photo booth and more. Co-hosted by TheCalendar.ca. $13 FRIDAY ' 01 RECHOWLATTHEMOON 7P.M.-2A.M.@SRC Test your team's v-ball skill in this all-night volleyball tournament. From Friday night to the wee hours of Saturday, see if your co-ed team ends up on top. More info at http://intramurals.ubc.ca/ events/volleyball/. $34 SATURDAY ' 02 TEDX TERRY TALKS 9A.M.-4P.M.@LIFE SCIENCES INSTITUTE Based on the TED Talks model, UBC's version features students and alumni speaking on what they're passionate about. Expect lots of intelligent conversation over coffee. Go to terry.ubc.ca fortickets. $11-12 ON THE COVER We already had great photos ofthe men's and women's basketball teams on their own, but we wanted to get them together and have some Halloween fun on the cover. Photo by Mackenzie Walker. f!JifT ^|THE UBYSSEY 3CTOBER31.2013 I VOLUMEXCV| ISSUEX EDITORIAL Coordinating Editor Geoff Lister coordinating@ubyssey.es Managing Editor, Print Ming Wong orinteditor@ubyssey.es Managing Editor, Web CJ Pentland webeditor@ubyssey.es News Editors Will McDonald + Sarah Bigam iews@ubyssey.es Senior News Writer Brandon Chow ochow@ubyssey.es Culture Editor Rhys Edwards eulture@ubyssey.es Senior Culture Writer Aurora Tejeida atejeida@ubyssey.es Sports + Rec Editor Natalie Scadden sports@ubyssey.es Senior Lifestyle Writer Reyhana Heatherington "heatherington@ubyssey.es Features Editor Amo Rosenfeld features@ubyssey.es Video Producers Lu Zhang + Nick Grossman video@ubyssey.es Copy Editor Matt Meuse eopy@ubyssey.es Photo Editor Carter Brundage ehotos@ubyssey.es Illustrator Indiana Joel joel@ubyssey.es Graphic Designer Nena Nguyen nnguyen@ubyssey.es Webmaster Tony Li webmaster@ubyssey.es Distribution Coordinator Lily Cai cai@ubyssey.es STAFF Catherine Guan, NickAdams Kanta Dihal, Marlee Laval, Angela Tien, Carly Sotas, Alex Meisner, Luella Sun, Jenny Tang.AdrienneHembree^ Mehryar Maalem, Jack Hauen Kosta Prodanovic, Olivia Law, JethroAu, Bailey Ramsay BUSINESS Business Manager Fernie Pereira fpereira@ jbyssey.ca 604.822.668l Ad Sales MarkSha advertising® jbyssey.ca 604.822.1654 Ad Sales Tiffany Tsao webadvertisinc ©ubyssey.ca ~ 604.822.1658 Accounts Graham McDonald accounts® jbyssey.ca Editorial Office: 3UB24 SO 4.822.2301 Business Office: 3UB23 Student Union Buildinc 6138 SUB Boulevard ~ Vancouver. 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OUR CAMPUS// ONE ON ONE WITH THE PEOPLE WHO MAKE UBC PHOTC Unlike his tie, David McArthur doesn't wolf down wine but carefully sips it to taste the different notes. David McArthur's wine science course a winner Mormei Zanke Contributor David McArthur knows a thing or two about wines. Teaching a course called "Introduction to Wine Sciences," the Land and Food Systems prof has managed to balance between the enjoyment and academic pursuit of wine. He was offered the teaching job in 2001, but McArthur says he was initially unsure if it would be merely a drinking course or if there was scientific analysis involved. McArthur completed his undergraduate and master of science at UBC with a focus in horticulture — the study of plant cultivation — and continued on to receive his doctorate from the University of Alberta in plant physiology and agriculture sciences. Ultimately, it was his passion that convinced him to accept the position and teach FNH 330, a course he has developed and tweaked for over a decade. McArthur wanted the course to be both informative and fun. "It should be [a course] where you can walk out ofthe lab ... and buy something from the wine store and not just pick a wine that has a kangaroo on it because it looks cool," he said. "It gives you a real perspective." Taste attributes, how the grapes were grown and processed and the best food pairings are just some ofthe factors McArthur takes into consideration. "Either in the lab [or] if I buy some for myself to enjoy off the job, I still use my sensory training to evaluate them as I sip," he said. McArthur says many students seem to enjoy the course. One of his most memorable moments happened at a UBC alumni wine event when a father approached him, gave him a hug and relayed how both his son and daughter had taken his wine sciences class. "For many people, wine is something that is applicable to everyday life," McArthur said. "Wine often appears at their meals and social occasions. It's a topic of conversation. "Wine is about the land, people, the art and science of its making and how these all come together." McArthur talks like a man who has found his niche — someone who truly loves his job and respects wine as an art form. After talking to him for just a few moments, it becomes clear that he approaches life much like he approaches wine: "I like a wine to surprise me." XI MCARTHUR'S QUICK GUIDETO WINES THIS AUTUMN For Halloween: B.C. VQA Okanagan Valley's Moon Cursor Vineyards: Dead of Night red and Afraid ofthe Dark white —try localVQA Wine Stores. For cooler weather in the fall: I enjoy red wine especially. Margues Casa Concha and CoverDrive blend (about $27/bottle). The Seghesio Zinfandel from California ($33/ bottle). Cheaper fall option: Calona Vineyards' Artist Series Pinot Noir is very good for only $14. His take on boxed wine: They can make a decent sangria. Economy wine picks are the B.C. VQA Calona Vineyards Artist Series wines (often guite good, $13-14/ bottle), or the ConoSur wines from Chile (some are good, $ll-14/bottle) or the Gallo wines from California (for camping, $9/bottle). ,:OM BREAD MOULD ^ 'ANTIBIOTICS. DISCOVER THE STORY OF MEDICINES An interactive exhibition exploring the role of pharmacy and pharmaceuticals in human health. IUBC a place of mind THE UNIVERSITY OF BRITISH COLUMBIA Faculty of Pharmaceutical Sciences Pharmaceutical Sciences Building, 2405 Wesbrook Mall Open 8 a.m. - 6 p.m. Guided tours on request. WWW.PHARMACY.UBC.CA/ABOUTUS/SOM // News ORS WILL MCDONALD + SARAH BIGAM SAFETY» RCMP investigating 6 related campus assaults =HOTO CARTER BRUNDAGE3THE UBYSSEY At a press conference, RCMP Sgt. Peter Thiessen said the Major Crimes Unit believes one man is responsible for a string of six reported sexual assaults on campus. Sarah Bigam News Editor The RCMP are now investigating six reported sexual assaults that occurred on campus over the past seven months. They believe one suspect is responsible for all six assaults. At a press conference on Tuesday hosted by UBC and the RCMP, Sgt. Peter Thiessen ofthe Lower Mainland RCMP said an additional sexual assault occurred early Sunday morning, when a young woman was walking alone from Gage Residence on Student Union Boulevard around 1:30 a.m. He also said RCMP are now including two sexual assaults reported in April and May in the investigation. The Ubyssey also reported a NEWS BRIEFS U BC study: rats playing slot machines A UBC study found that drugs can be used to treat problem gambling. The study assessed rats engaged in slot machine-style gambling. It found drugs that block dopamine receptors can inhibit problem gambling. "Pathological gambling is increasingly seen as a behavioural addiction similarto drug oralcohol addiction, but we know comparatively little about how to treat problem gambling," said study lead Paul Cocker. The study found similar behaviours between rats and humans related to problem gambling. "This study sheds important new light on the brain processes involved with gambling and gambling addictions," said Cocker. UBC to offer first local Open Online Course UBC is offering a local open online course (LOOC) on digital literacy. The course is open to all UBC students. "A LOOC is a way of attaching this phenomenon of massive learning to UBC's large, global and thoroughly excellent existing community," said David Vogt, graduate advisor for the master of education technology program, xi seventh assault last week, which has not been reported to police to date. "These attacks seem to be crimes of opportunity, where the suspect is specifically targeting lone females in secluded areas," Thiessen said. One journalist at the press conference pointed out that the attack this weekend happened while many additional security measures were in place. "UBC is a city within a city, so it's no different policing here than it would be policing in a large metropolitan city," Thiessen said. "Our resources can't be everywhere all the time." Thiessen said the Major Crimes Unit ofthe RCMP has the capacity to provide as many TOOPE» UBC president addresses assaults at press conference Will McDonald News Editor UBC president Stephen Toope addressed the recent sexual assaults at a press conference today. Toope said UBC is doing all they canto keep students safe in the face ofthe environment of insecurity currently felt on campus. "I have kids who live on campus and I am every bit as concerned about their safety as any parent. I can reassure parents across the world that we are doing everything in our power to ensure the safety of their children." Toope said the university has already increased both lighting and security patrols on campus, but questioned adding security cameras due to privacy concerns. "That's going to be a longer term discussion," he said. "I certainly am reluctant to make a commitment at this point that the entire campus would be subject to surveillance." resources as necessary to investigate the assaults. The RCMP have also increased patrols at UBC, and have engaged other units including the RCMP Bike Patrol, Lower Mainland District Integrated Police Dog Services and the Lower Mainland District Integrated Emergency Response Team. Behavioural scientists, criminal and geographic profilers are also working on the case, alongside crime analysts, forensic artists and operational psychologists. The RCMP are also coordinating with the Vancouver Police Department. The RCMP are also using tools like the Violent Crime Linkage Analysis System, a national computer program that looks for links to previously identified suspects. A composite sketch ofthe suspect is being created. "I don't recall a similar set of circumstances at a university or educational campus in this province," Thiessen said. Thiessen said that the RCMP will have special strategies in place for Halloween this Thursday, but would not give specific details. The current description ofthe suspect the RCMP are working with is a Caucasian male with a slightly darker or olive skin tone. He is possibly tanned, and is in his mid- to late 20s or early 30s. The suspect has a thin build and is somewhere between 5-foot-8 and 6-foot-2. He has a long, round chin and face, a straight nose, a broad forehead and short, dark hair. This weekend, the RCMP knocked on hundreds of residence doors on campus and spoke to 300 people to get additional information on the assaults. RCMP have received 30-40 tips from the public and they are following up on all of them, Thiessen said. "We urge anyone with information, however insignificant it may seem, to contact their local police department. You may have noticed something ... that could potentially lead to identifying a suspect or [the] location of where that person may be," said Thiessen. UBC President Stephen Toope released a letter today about the recent assaults. "I am grateful to the RCMP who have made this a top priority," he wrote. "Their investigation is critical to restoring the safety of our campus. "In the days to come, until the alleged perpetrator is apprehended, I ask you to be extra vigilant," Toope wrote. "The ultimate choice is yours, but the RCMP [are] advising you not to walk alone after dark." UBC VP Students Louise Cowin also announced that the university is increasing security at campus residences. Starting tonight, one male and one female security guard will be patrolling each residence. There is also a new service called Rezwalk, which will escort students from residence commonsblocks back to actual residence buildings. Cowin said UBC is also ramping up access to UBC counselling services. "This is a time to rally support for one another, look out for each other and stand up against sexual violence," said Cowin. Anyone with information about the attacks is asked to call the B.C. RCMP Major Crimes Section's tip line at 778-290-5291 or toll free at 1-877-543-4822. UBC also has a new website, http://news.ubc.ca/stay-safe, which provides safety tips and resources. XI UBC President Stephen Toope said UBC is doing all they can to keep students safe on campus. PHOTO GEOFF LISTER3THE UBYSSEY He said a working group has been formed to discuss issues such as the merits of adding cameras and the possibility of adding more lighting on campus. "What I can tell you is that we are putting [in] the resources that are necessary to keep this campus as safe as we can. Frankly, we are not counting pennies right now." Toope also commended students who have banded together in organizations like Safewalk in the wake ofthe sexual assaults. "This is a moment for community building. This is a moment to resist fear, to push back at a person who is making our community feel vulnerable," he said. Toope emphasized that the new security measures are a temporary response to the recent sexual assaults. The president said that the working group would look at longer-term security plans. "This is one ofthe safest campuses in North America. There is not normally a climate of fear of or insecurity on the campus." XI NEWS I THURSDAY, OCTOBER 31, 2013 REGULATION » Abdul Ladha, other buildings cut capacities Fire capacity changes will limit size of student events Brandon Chow Senior News Writer Recent capacity reductions on buildings around campus will limit party sizes at event hotspots such as Abdul Ladha Science Student Centre and Meekison Arts Student Space (MASS). Vancouver Fire and Rescue Services captain Rob Renning says that up until recently, incorrect occupancy loads were being used for buildings on campus. "They realized they were supposed to be following the B.C. fire code ... and not the Vancouver bylaw," he said. Renning is unsure of which specific buildings will be affected, and the UBC Fire Prevention office in charge ofthe new changes declined an interview request. Renning said the discovery stemmed from a recent function at UBC where fire investigators responding to an emergency call found the building to be "grossly over-occupied." "One ofthe inspectors couldn't get over how crowded it was and when they started looking, they realized that the wrong occupant load had been assigned to the building." Several student societies across campus who host functions in these buildings will be affected financially due to these changes. Science Undergraduate Society (SUS) president Aaron Bailey said capacity for Abdul Ladha has been reduced by approximately 35 per cent to 133 people in total. "We are still able to hold events and parties, albeit ones that are smaller than normal," said Bailey. Bailey said the capacity restrictions will affect funding for other SUS events like Science Week and Science Grad, which receive The Abdul Ladha Science Student Centre has had its capacity cut by 35 per cent, which will limit future party sizes. money from social groups such as TheCalendar.ca and the Chinese Varsity Club (CVC), who book Abdul Ladha for their own events. Rae Barilea, president ofthe CVC, says she understands why the capacities were lowered, but that it's an unfortunate circumstance that will affect their club's revenue. "It sucks to have to tell our members that we're sold out already because of reduced capacity," said Barilea. She said their dances — which are often held at Abdul Ladha — are their main source of revenue, and that reductions will make a huge difference to their ticket sales. "We've had to look at a lot of off-campus options, which is kind of difficult for us considering that most of our members are commuters," Barilea said. "There aren't a lot of spaces close to SkyTrains or buses that will accommodate our size, so it's quite stressful to go through this." She added many of their events are all ages, so booking a bar or club venue is out ofthe question. MASS, another popular space for parties, has undergone reductions as well, although the details on the changes are still unclear, according to AUS president Sebastian Silley. "This worries me in terms of affecting the general campus cul ture here at UBC. [The restrictions] propagate the so-called 'war on fun' that students have coined as negatively impacting the social culture here," said Bailey. He is currently trying to set up a meeting with the fire marshal through the AMS to work around this issue. Rob Morton, founder of TheCalendar.ca, shares a similar opinion. "This is the epitome ofthe 'war on fun.' Young people want to hang out together and dance. We have literally been doing it for thousands of years, and will continue to find ways to do it even if the capacity of every student space is reduced to zero." =HOTO CARTER BRUNDAGE3THE UBYSSEY He said their annual Halloween dance party booked at Abdul Ladha was forced to relocate following the changes, and they were forced to increase the price ofthe tickets due to a more expensive location. Morton emphasized what the capacity changes mean for campus life. "To think generations of students' money was spent paying architects and engineers to design a building that was legally allowed to hold 260-plus students, signed off and up to code, extra fire doors and all, only to have the capacity slashed years later is extremely frustrating, and a sad day for student culture." XI TECHNOLOGY» Signals of the apocalypse UBC student proposes solution for clogged cell networks Maura Forrest Contributor UBC graduate student Mai Hassan has developed a technology that may prevent cellular network overload. Hassan has found a way for cellphones to use television and radio channels when cell networks get too busy — even when those channels are already being used by radio or TV stations. "I switched the frequency of transmission to the range of TV or radio, the same way you would switch channels on a radio," said Hassan, a PhD student in the department of electrical and computer engineering. Hassan's goal was to use these channels without interfering with TV and radio broadcasts by directing the cell signal toward a receiver and away from people listening to their car radios or watching the news. Jahangir Hossain, an assistant professor of engineering at UBC's Okanagan campus, supervised Hassan's research alongside Vijay Bhargava, a UBC profes sor of electrical and computer engineering. "One possibility is that you can ask nearby transmitters [other cell phones] to help you," said Hossain. "You can collaborate and direct the signal toward the receiver." Hassan's solution applies a technique called "beamforming," which is a way of directing wireless signals. One way to understand this is to picture two pebbles dropped into a pool of water. Where the ripples meet, some will join to form larger waves, while others will cancel each other out. Similarly, wireless signals emitted by the antennas in cellphones can overlap to form stronger signals or to block each other. In a study published in the journal IEEE Transactions on Wireless Communications, Hassan controlled this overlap to change the direction ofthe cellular signal. "If you have multiple antennas together, they are going to interfere with each other," Hassan said. "They can block each other in the direction of the original owner ofthe channel frequency and they are going to reinforce each other ... in the direction of our cellular receiver." This means that cellphones would work together to transmit calls over a TV or radio channel without interference if the regular cell network were pushed to the limit. "It would have great importance in case of emergency and crisis, when people are trying to use their phones at the same time," said Hassan. "But also it can be used in the case of a film festival, for example, or a soccer match." The technology is not yet ready to hit the market, though Hassan said it should not be hard to implement. Cellphones would need a software update to allow them to switch to radio and television frequencies when necessary, but the update could be applied to any cellphone. Hossain said telecommunications companies should not be negatively affected, as long as interference is kept to a minimum. "They should not have any concerns," he said. XI PHOTO RICKV ROMERO/FLICKR The technology aims to prevent cell networks from overloading during emergencies. // Sports + Rec EDITOR NATALIESCADDEN HOW-TO » Fighting dirty at UBC REC's self-defence class Catherine Guan StaffWriter Fish hooking, eye gouging and groin shots: these are moves so cheap they will invite the reproach ofthe most grizzled MM A fighter, hits so dirty they have been outlawed from the free-for- all thrashing inside the UFC's octagonal cages. Senseis Louisa Weitzmann and James Chartier, however, are advocates of cheap shots. On Sunday, Oct. 27, these two instructors from Hit and Run Self Defense facilitated a women's self-defence workshop offered by UBC REC, where they taught participants how to deliver hard and dirty hits on attackers. With multiple black belts between them, both Weitzmann and Chartier are well-versed in traditional martial art disciplines such as karate. "In self-defence, the styles that we teach are krav maga and combat jujitsu, which are military-based," explained Chartier. "Unlike traditional styles where you have forms and katas, we stick to things that we can do in a duress situation that are quick, functional and get you out of trouble fast. What we would consider the dirtier, nastier moves, those are the things we focus on." A common mistake women tend to make when they are attacked is to initially freeze. "Those first few seconds are what counts the most," said Weitzmann. "You are not pacing yourself for a five-round match, where it's like, gotta have some energy for the twentieth minute ofthe fight," Chartier added. "It's all up at the front. "Particularly for women, we need them focusing on throat, eyes, ears and nose.... We want The author, left, practices self-defence techniques with sensei Jame Chartier of Hit and Run Self Defense. =HOTO CARTER BRUNDAGE3THE UBYSSEY them to focus on things that men can't build up at a gym." The eyes are an important target in self-defence situations. Even hardened muay thai fighters have to take a pause when they suffer a hit to the eye, to check whether the eyeball is still intact and in the socket where it belongs. The instructors recommend striking with a hand that has the thumb folded towards the palm and the remaining four fingers extended. It is almost impossible to miss the eyes with this four-pronged attack. When the assailant is in mid- range, the principle to remember is use soft against hard. "We try to use anything soft in our bodies, like palms, against something hard like a head," Weitzmann said. "We don't recommend punching a head as there are 27 little bones in your hand and you will break them." Hard against soft also works. Instead of using kicking with the feet, she recommends striking out with shins instead. "The groin is soft and the shin is hard and wedged like a hammer." While they don't usually recommend biting, the concern being contagious diseases, it can be an option in desperate situations where the attacker is in close range. Rather than chomping down, the trick is to take a small bite with your canines, then twist and pull. Then growl, for good measure. Showing your attacker a lot of his own blood will make him go into shock, and the growling will remind him of his precarious position on the food chain. "Some ofthe women we teach have already been through scenarios already and some of them are being proactive," said Weitzmann about her teaching experience. For Brit Sochting, a second- year Land and Food Systems student, it was about being proactive. "I signed up for this workshop in September before the incidents on campus, because I've always wanted to take a self-defence class. "While the blame is definitely on the men behind these attacks, I think it is important for girls to know how to take care of themselves and learn the techniques to fight back," she said. In the three-hour workshop, the instructors began with techniques on how to avoid and defuse potential attacks. They then put the ladies through their paces with exercises like extrication from choking grips and the proper way to slap — not the kind that debutantes give to cheeky suitors, the kind that could bust someone's eardrum. The session ended with practice scenarios for unarmed and armed assailants. Sochting came out ofthe workshop feeling more empowered, but for her, this was only the beginning. "I will be going back to practice these moves with my brothers." XI T-BIRDS 5-ON-5 OCTOBER STARS Hockey RICHARD MEISTER Soccer DAVE SCOTT Football 1. Who was your favourite athlete as a kid? 2. What's your go-to pregame meal? 3. What's the best Halloween costume you've everworn? That would have to be Bobby Orr. Best defenceman of all time. My dad used to make me watch videos of him playing. Usually chicken and rice. Oh that's a tough one... I was once a ninja.l liked it so much I wore the same costume the next two years in a row. Michael Jordan. Oliver Kahn. Brett Favre. Steve Nash. Pedialyte and oatmeal. B.A. Baracus[Mr. T's character from The A-Team] in the 11th grade. Anything except for eggs and Tim Hortons. Anyone who was on the Lethbridgetrip knows why. Luigi. Anything high-carb two and three days before. The night before is team dinner, wherever the boys decide. Travis Barker in 2011.1 drew on Sharpie tats. The next day was rough. Lots of pasta — unless it's an early morning race, then just a piece of toast and some fruit. Oneyearl wentasa shower, like the kid in The Karate Kid d\\d. 4. Who's your scariest team member? 5. A quote you live by? NadineBurgessforsure. flinch everytime she makes a move around me. She's notorious for throwing a punch when you're not expecting it. "Do, ordo not. There is no try." — Master Yoda Rudy Uhl. He knows why. "The future comes to those who prepare for it today." — Malcolm Little [Coach] Mike Mosher if he catches me at McDonald's. [Or] Harry Lakhan if he goes more than five minutes without touching the ball. "It's not whether you get knocked down; it's whether you get up." — VinceLombardi BenBahrami, hands down. Terrifying beard and he hates fun. [He has] a strict zero-fun policy. "Pain heals, chicks dig scars, glory lasts forever." - The Replacements Wacko Jacko [Jack Williams]. "Life's like a garden: just dig it!" SPORTS + REC I THURSDAY, OCTOBER 31, 2013 WELCOME TO THE JAM WORDS BY CJ PENTLAND AND NATALIE SCADDEN PHOTOS BY JOSH CURRAN The UBC basketball teams treated theirfans to thrilling playoff games back in February and March, giving rise to the #OccupyWarGym movement, and seeing the men's team capture a Canada West championship on their home court. However, the offseason brought new faces and a plethora of injuries. There may be some struggles early on, but Thunderbirds fans have reason to be excited about these two teams come this year's playoffs. CIS PRESEASON RANKINGS 8 2012-2013 STATISTICS REGULAR SEASON RECORD PLAYOFF RECORD FIELD GOAL % SCORING MARGIN 18-4 4-3 0.445 11.8 ~. Stress fracture in the foot. Plantar fasciitis. Knee surgery to remove a tumor. Disc issue in the back. Meniscus surgery. MCL strain. All this equals one big headache for Kevin Hanson. Heading into his 14th season at the helm ofthe UBC men's basketball team, Hanson has never had to deal with this many injuries at one time. Nine different players have started games in the preseason, and at this point it's tough for him to even have enough healthy guys to play five-on-five in practice. Right now, it's tough to tell what exactly this team has in store for the 2013-14 campaign. "There's been a lot of pressure on these kids, and with the injuries, we just haven't gotten into a flow yet," Hanson said last Friday. "Every day we're trying UBC MEN'S RECORD ECOI UBC WOMEN'S RECORD to get into a flow and a different guy will be gone or missing or hurt, or different news comes out, so it's been a very trying situation." The Thunderbirds are coming off a year that saw them blend a mix of young and old to carry them to a Canada West championship and a berth at CIS nationals. While the end ofthe year saw the loss of only two players — guards Doug Plumb and O'Brian Wallace, key components ofthe UBC roster — this season's team showcases a roster that will feature many new faces come opening night. However, looking at their roster right now, it's tough to find the depth that helped make the 'Birds so successful last year. You can start with the three rookies who stormed onto the scene last year and played well beyond their years. This year, Conor Morgan, a 6-foot-8 forward with a smooth shot from the arc, won't be back until January with a stress fracture in his foot. Isaiah Soloman played the point and provided stifling defence, but is suffering a back injury and needs an MRI to determine the severity ofthe damage. Jordan Jensen-Whyte has avoided significant ailment so far, but he'd better not be walking under any chandeliers. Brylle Kamen, the Parisian who stormed onto the scene last year with 11.3 points and 10.4 rebounds per game in the regular season, will also be back, but he's at about 60 per cent health. He underwent surgery after last season ended to remove a tumor from his knee and spent the summer rehabilitating. With injuries reducing the lineup so drastically, that rehab was cut short. However, Kamen iTOTALCANWEST CHAMPIONSHIPS ++4-^7 10 T TOTAL CIS CHAMPIONSHIPS -6- 2- I960 1970 1980 1990 2000 2010 THURSDAY, OCTOBER 31, 2013 | SPORTS + REC | 7 at 60 per cent is still better than most players in the conference, and he realizes that his team relies on him as a leader. "I have to refine my game, because I used to [just] outrun people and jump higher than people," said Kamen, who still averaged 8.5 points per game in the preseason. "For me, it's tough to understand that I have to find new ways to play and new ways to help the team, but hopefully it won't be too long... to get back to what I used to be." The final two returners are Tommy Nixon and David Wagner, two players expected to pick up the scoring slack. Nixon rivals Morgan and newcomer Andrew McGuinness for the smoothest shooting stroke on Cri3ll6nC|inC| yG3T in the the team, but he also combines that with a physical presence in the first P3ft. ObviOUSlV it'S OUT paint —one that helped him rack up 9.8 points and 4.4 rebounds per nr>3l tn riPt Ttn n3tinn3kl game.Wagner, despite being just a third year, possesses a soft scoring yudl LU y<=L LLU lldL UlldlbJ touch around the rim, and should be the dominant scoring centre that and Will It ... and every the'Birds haven't had in years, year it iS OUT QOal, but Dynamic recruits play significant roles on many of Hanson's teams, riaht now WP'fP SO an(^ ^s ^ear w^ ^e no different, especially with even more being , »» , needed from them due to the injuries. McGuinness transfers in from lOCUSeO On tne prOCeSS, Calgary and can extend the defence with his long-range shot, as evi- This has been such a and honestly, just getting healthy. Kevin Hanson UBC men's basketball coach denced by his .409 percentage from beyond the arc in the preseason. Tonner Jackson also comes in after spending three years at Trinity Western. A hard-nosed forward who averaged 16.1 points per game last year with the Spartans, Jackson is working on his master of management at the Sauder School of Business, and the workload is causing him to miss a few practices. He's also been forced to play an expanded role, but not just because there are holes in the lineup. The saying "it's not how your start but how you finish" will hold very true for the T-Birds this season. Last year, they won 18 of their first 20 games, and battled to win the conference title, but were plagued by injuries come nationals and dropped their final two contests to finish seventh. This year, it will all be about coming together at the end when it matters, and Kamen has no doubts about that happening. "This year, if we get [to nationals], I think we have a better chance than last year." — CP COACH'S CORNER DEB HUBAND WOMEN'S COACH 19th SEASON (5) UBC KEVIN HANSON MEN'S COACH 14th SEASON (5) UBC OVERALL RECORD 382-203 336-135 2012-2013 STATISTICS REGULAR SEASON RECORD FIELD GOAL % 17-5 0.430 CONFERENCE RECORD 246-127 210-63 PLAYOFF RECORD SCORING MARGIN 0-2 ♦9.5 CIS PRESEASON RANKINGS When Kris Young missed a three-pointer in the dying seconds of UBC's 67-64 overtime loss to the University of Alberta Pandas in last year's Canada West playoffs, she probably didn't realize that three ofthe four other T-Birds on the floor at the time were playing their last games in UBC blue and gold. Only Leigh Stansfield, the other of half of UBC's one-two punch, was graduating in the spring. But when three other UBC standouts — Tori Spangehl, Zana Williams and Alyssa Binns — cut their careers short due to injuries, head coach Deb Huband was left with the challenge of integrating new transfers and pushing some youngsters into much bigger roles. "It's a little bit of a different look this year," said Huband. "At this point, we've changed a few things that we're doing offensively, and we haven't really found our stride yet." Huband will again rely heavily on the consistent and versatile performance of Young, who finished top 10 in the conference in all three ofthe major statistical categories: points per game (16.9; sixth), rebounds per game (7.5; ninth) and assists per game (3.5; sixth). She was rewarded for her efforts with the Canada West Player ofthe Year award and recognition as a first-team all-Canadian. "[Kris] carried a tremendous burden for our team and had to be one of our best players on a consistent basis for the entire season. And she did very well with that," Huband said ofthe fourth-year guard. "We need her to be similar to what she was last year, but I think she's going to have more support on the court than what we were able to do for her last year," Huband added. The three new faces this year are all forwards who should help strengthen UBC's frontcourt, which will be missing Stansfield's 14.9 points per game and 0.551 field goal percentage as well as Spangehl's 7.4 rebounds a game. Incoming are transfers Harleen Sidhu and Lauren Seabrook, as well as a true rookie in Kamila Wojciechowski. Sidhu was a B.C. high school standout who went on to play three years of NCAA basketball at the University of Nebraska. A dominant inside force, she plays well with her back to the basket, but can also hit three-pointers and drive off the dribble. While she hasn't yet fully learned the system at UBC or shaken off the rust after two years without playing competitively, Huband expects Sidhu to be an integral part of her team this year. In the most recent preseason game, she led the Thunderbirds with 18 points and 17 rebounds. "Harleen is somebody I had my eye on out of high school," said Huband. "She was a provincial team player since she was about 12 years old, so she's a real quality player and a real quality person as well. She had some unfinished business athletically, and she brings with her some good experience, a good versatile skill set, and lots of leadership." Rounding out the starting five with Young and Sidhu will likely be third-years Cassandra Knievel and Adrienne Parkin, and second-year Maggie Sundberg at the point. All three showed flashes of excellence last season, but Huband hopes to see them bring more toughness and consistency this year. "We have to get grittier. We'll be playing against some teams that may not have tremendous depth or might not be as refined skill-wise, but who will play with grit and determination and effort," said Huband. "That's where someone like Lauren [Seabrook] can help, because she does that on a daily basis. She's a physical player — a little bit rough and tumble, but she's got good rebounding habits and she guards tough." The T-Birds finished with a 4-2 preseason record, but an 80-43 thrashing by the University of Windsor, the three-time defending CIS Champions, shows that they still have a long way to go to get back to the national final, where they were runners up just two years ago. "We have to be patient, and just be resilient knowing that it might take us a bit of time and there might be a few ups and down, but we need to keep pressing, because I think we will be a step above where we were last year, and we need to be."-NSXl II Culture RHYS EDWARDS FASHION » Cheeky, cheap and charming: Last-minute Halloween costumes At least once in October, someone will ask you what you are going to dress up as for Halloween. Whether you are an enthusiast or not, you will probably attend at least one Halloween party — and as a student, buying an expensive costume you will likely only wear once may not be an option. Instead of breaking the bank, let these eight lazy, but clever, ideas be your guide in taking the "cost" out of "costume." Text: Bailey Ramsay, staff writer. Illustrations: Luella Sun, staff illustrator. Fork in the road Take a relatively blank shirt that you already own, and some coloured tape. Once you have taped the rough outlines of a road onto your shirt, take a kitchen fork, tie it to string, and wear it around your neck. Voila: a fork in the road. Life, giving you lemons Again, using a plain shirt and coloured tape, spell out the word "life" and proudly stick it to your shirt. Locate either a basket or a bucket lying around your home and fill it with just a few lemons. When life gives you lemons, make an inexpensive costume. Three-hole punched Cereal killer Inspired by the apathetic but clever paper salesman Jim Halpert from The Office, who started a trend of cutting three black circles of paper and taping them to one's body. This creates the inexpensive illusion that you have been "three-hole punched." Did you do your recycling yesterday? If you have old cereal boxes laying around from days or even weeks past, tape them to your body and carry around a butter knife as an accessory. Jellyfish Let's face it: if you live in Vancouver, odds are you have an umbrella lying around waiting to be used. Take your umbrella and tie streamers to the spokes so they hang loose like the tentacles of a jellyfish. If you are feeling especially theatrical, you also have the option of taping glow sticks to the spokes of your umbrella to give it that extra wow factor when it gets dark on Halloween night. Identity thief Remember those awkward name tags you wear on the first day of an orientation? Simply buy a packet ofthe stickers from an office supply store and write the names of stranger or people you know on them. Then, put them all over your clothes to show whose identities you have stolen. The Paper Bag Princess Why buy a Disney princess costume that a thousand other people will be wearing when you can be the spunky heroine of Robert Munsch's classic story, The Paper Bag Princess'? Who wouldn't want to be this fine feminist girl? And it's easy: all you need is a compost bag. Simply cut out holes for your arms and head and make a crown for your head as well. Hawaiian punch The minimum requirements are a flower lei and a pair of boxing gloves in order for people to get the picture. If you want to go all the way, sunglasses, a straw hat and a tacky floral shirt and shorts combo are good for added affect. If you are worried people still won't get the joke, feel free to carry a carton of actual Hawaiian punch — you might be thirsty at the party, tl PROCRASTINATION STATION SMART HALLOWEEN MOVIES If you're a student of the bookish variety, you may find the thought ofspending Halloween amidst the boorish vices of your academic peers to be particularly repugnant. That said, there's no reason one should dispense with academia's favourite excuse for midterm insobriety in its entirety; the opportunity to eat coma-inducing volumes of "fun-size" confectioneries is not one to be passed lightly. Of course, one has to validate such mindless consumption, lest one's studious facade be sundered, and there's no better way to do this than to watch genre films ironically. To aid you on your enlightened consumption, consider the following "thinking-man's" horror movies: Funny Games (2007): In Michael Haneke's English-language remake of his 1998 subversive German horror flick of the same name, a pair of polite young men invade a family vacation home and proceed to subject its occupants to meaningless mental and physical torture. The catch? As one of the villains points out in a roundabout way, the film is a rumination on America's demand for mindless on-screen violence — implying that it's ultimately the viewer who is responsible for the family's suffering. Ginger Snaps (2000): One of very few acclaimed Canadian horror films, Ginger Snaps stars Brigitte and Ginger, two teenage goth sisters who make a suicide pact. Their plans are upset, however, when Ginger is attacked by a werewolf; gruesome transformations, violence and death ensue. A complex analogy of a girl's transition into womanhood, GingerSnaps has generated a massive amount of academic attention (famed UBC professor Ernest Mathijs is publishing a book dedicated entirely to the film), as well as several sequels. The Cabin in the Woods (2012): Filmed just a few clicks away in Squamish, Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard's cult film lies somewhere in the ambiguous space between comedy and horror. Cabin takes all the tropes of popular American horror cinema — a group of inordinately attractive collegestudents, some redneck maniacs and, of course, a cabin in the woods — and turns them on their head. Simultaneously a love letter and a critique ofthe genre, Cabin isameta-horrorabout horror movies. Antichrist (2009): Widely regarded as one ofthe most difficult films to watch made in recent years, director Lars von Trier's post-modern journey into the dark recesses ofthe human psyche is both beautiful and disturbing. After an unnamed man and woman (the man played by the ever-unsightly Willem Defoe) lose their child in a tragic accident, they travel to a backwoods retreat in an attempt to heal their suffering. Profuse, angst-driven boning and mutilation follow thereafter. Let the Right One In (2008): In this Swedish art house horror, Oskar, a boy chronically victimized by bullying, is enamoured with the new girl who's moved in next door. Of course, there's a catch: she just so happens to be a voraciously blood-thirsty vampire. As grisly murders in the community become more frequent, Oskar must try to reconcile his adolescent love with his humanity. Far from the glittery S&M fantasies that have characterized the vampire genre in recent years, Let the Right One In is a moving exploration of adolescent angst. xi THURSDAY, OCTOBER 31, 2013 | CULTURE GENERATION A» Monsters that yawn in the night Halloween parties are a staple ofthe college life, but many students Jenica Montgomery Contributor j Jenica Montgomery Contributor University students can no longer participate in the time-old tradition of trick or treating, a staple for Halloween shenanigans, without being heckled or turned away. As such, we've had to search for different ways to celebrate the iconic holiday. It's taken on a new form, among university students and adults alike, which has become disconnected from its original purpose and history. So the question is this: as we grow out of childhood, do we become more apathetic about the meaning ofthe holiday? Surely the parties, drinking and tomfoolery count as celebrating — but such behaviour is so far from the original purpose of Halloween that the night doesn't seem to hold meaning anymore. The origins of Halloween come from multiple pagan celebrations, dating as far back as the Roman Empire. In an interview with the University of Colorado's news centre, Scott Bruce, an associate professor specializing in medieval history and religion at the school, said: "Halloween comes from All Hallows' Eve, and 'all hallows' refers to the feast of all saints. By the seventh century the feast was institutionalized on [Nov. 1]. "There's a sense, then, that in late October, early November, the dead are afoot, the dead PHOTO STEPHANIEXU/THE UBYSSEY Amid the costumes, food, music and general debauchery of Halloween parties at North American colleges, there lies a conspicuous absence of any real meaning. are around, and your obligation towards the dead is much more acute than any other time ofthe year." "[The] original purpose of Halloween was [as] a precursor to All Saints Day," said Devon Francis, a student member ofthe UBC Christian Ministry. Few students today know the true history of Halloween, how ever. In particular, the origins of trick or treating, an activity many of us enjoyed up until our early teens, remain largely obscure — though some still enjoy the prospect of free candy. Trick or treating has roots at least as far back as medieval times, according to Bruce. "Poor people at the time ... would go from house to house to house, and there they could expect to receive an offering of food, and this was called souling," Bruce said. "The giving ofthe food was an act of alms giving that helped the giver, and the eating ofthe food was also an act that helped the dead souls." The question remains: why do we celebrate this seemingly benign pagan holiday? The act of are indifferent trick or treating is no longer just for the poor, nor is there a strong sense ofthe dead being afoot in contemporary times. The answer: students simply choose to see Halloween in a different light from that of its past. "It's a holiday which can be taken a lot of different ways by a lot of different people," said Francis. Indeed, contemporary motivations for celebrating Halloween vary. "There's only one day a year when you can dress up like a kid and no one will judge you," said Philip Green, a fifth-year Science student. Along the same lines, fourth- year anthropology student Lianda Potter sees it as a callback to childhood. "Its like playing dress-up," she said. "People find a release in costuming." Celebrating the holiday has evolved from saving the souls of the living and the dead to partying and multiple nights of Halloween pranks and tricks. But this isn't to say that Halloween is meaningless. As Green put it: "[It's an] excuse to do stuff you can't normally do." Of course, while many choose to participate in this year's Halloween festivities, some will not. Potter plans to "sit at home and write an essay." Regardless of how they will be celebrating the spooky holiday, one tradition is certain: many students will be buying discounted candy the next day. tJ FOOD» Student Cooking: whip up some freaky tzatziki "<3 UBYSSEY CULTURE NOT TOO HIGH BROW NOT THAT LOW BROW MEETINGS TUESDAY AT 12:30 P.M. CULTURE AT UBYSSEY DOT CA Rachel Levy-McLaughlin Contributor When you're pressed for cash, it's always satisfying to learn about an easy, make-it-yourself foodstuff that's expensive to purchase at a grocery store. Tzatziki is definitely one of those. Buying it at the store is very expensive, and the quality varies drastically depending on the brand and store. Making your own is fast, cheaper and delicious. The beauty of tzatziki is that it is difficult to get wrong, so there is no need to be precise. This recipe should serve as more of a general guideline for ingredients. Feel free to add more of one ingredient, omit others and cater to your own taste. In light of Halloween, tzatziki can also be twisted into "freaky tzatziki" for any Halloween fiesta. Add some green food colouring PHOTO CARTER BRUNDAGE/THE UBYSSEY to it, and you have just created a spooky witch's concoction. Adding colouring will make it look less appetizing — but on Halloween, this is totally acceptable. Freaky Tzatziki Ingredients (serves four) Greek yogurt (medium-sized container, around 500 mL) 1-2 cloves of garlic 2 tsp. vegetable oil (optional) Cucumber 1 tsp. dill (fresh or dried) 1/4 tsp. salt Food colouring (optional) Equipment Frying pan (optional) Fork Sharp knife Instructions 1. Chop approximately a third of a rinsed cucumber into small pieces, with the option to leave the skin on or not. The skin gives an added crunch. 2. Mince the garlic (chop into very fine pieces). (2.5 Optional step: the flavour of raw garlic tends to be overwhelming. Frying the garlic beforehand does a nice job of diluting the flavour so it does not overpower the rest ofthe tzatziki. Add vegetable oil to the frying pan over medium heat and place the minced garlic in the oil. Remove the pan from the stove once the garlic has begun to brown.) 3. Place the (fried) garlic and chopped cucumber into the Greek yogurt (you can even leave it in the original container) and mix together with a fork. 4. Add dill and salt to flavour. For Halloween, add food colouring for a suitable degree of freakiness. Notes: Tzatziki is so much more than a dip. It goes well with cheese, crackers and vegetables, but also can form a key component of your meal. Using it as a spread for sandwiches adds a tasty and refreshing aspect. It also serves as a tastier substitute for sour cream on tacos or fajitas. Adding it to spicy dishes will instantly cool them down, and give them a creamier, cooler flavour. If you are in the mood for Greek-style chicken, dollop your tzatziki on top to add extra flavours to your meat. tJ II Opinions LAST WORDS w Halloween^} ©ito^ffrwO HP ^CAMOy a#m CAUTION NEEDED ON CAMERAS The decision of UBC administrators to hold off on the installation of security cameras is being questioned by some, but not by us at The Ubyssey. UBC is a huge campus. We already have security cameras installed in most major buildings. The number of cameras it would take to cover every dark corner of Point Grey is very, very large. The amount of time it would take to install all of these cameras is also very large. There would be months of consultation, followed by budgeting concerns, shipping delays, and then a long period of implementation. Even if UBC had hundreds of thousands of dollars sitting around right now to buy them and unlimited staff to install them immediately, it wouldn't happen tomorrow. Our guess is that it would take over a year to install them. By that time — we hope — they'll have caught the person or persons perpetrating these despicable acts of sexual violence. And then what will happen to the cameras? We'll be left with a campus where every single thing we do is monitored. This would invade the privacy of students, especially those living on campus, for years to come, and we don't want to see that at UBC. It can be difficult to make an argument against surveillance for security purposes, but as a society, we've tacitly agreed to allow mild forms of deviance, and to eliminate that would be a shame. Imagine no more painting ofthe cairn or engineering pranks. Imagine no more bonding in the enchanted forest. Imagine no more romantic rendezvous in quiet corners of campus. Imagine no more drunken romps in the Rose Garden. Imagine no more cutting through the landscaping to get to class in a hurry. Imagine no more hiding out in Toope's backyard. (Wait, what?) And more broadly, if we agree to be surveilled around campus because we know we're not doing As a society, we've tacitly agreed to allow mild forms of deviance, and to eliminate that would be a shame. anything wrong, where does it stop? Should the university or RCMP have access to our social media accounts so they know we're not cheating on exams or using drugs? In an age where the authorities seem more willing than ever to compromise our civil liberties in the name of security, it's reassuring to see Toope's reluctance to install cameras. We hope the idea is firmly squashed and that law enforcement finds other ways to keep us safe on campus. CUS REFERENDUM DOOMED TO FAIL It looks like the Commerce Undergraduate Society referendum on whether to fund a $200,000 commitment toward "student counselling and education on sexual abuse" is going to fail. The commitment was coerced from CUS leaders by Sauder School of Business dean Robert Helsley following his strong-arming of CUS president Enzo Woo and VP engagement Gilliang Ong to resign following the rape cheer scandal. It seemed a blatant attempt by Helsley and the university LLUSTRATION DAVID MARINO/THE UBYSSEY to show the media that UBC was serious about responding to the scandal, but the problems quickly became apparent — not the least of which was that the CUS didn't have the authority to hand over $200,000 without student approval. Many Sauderites believe they are being unfairly taxed for a crime they didn't commit — after all, many commerce students don't attend FROSH. If there's a reason this shouldn't pass, it's because the university hasn't had time to do a thorough analysis about how to best create change before demanding a large sum of money from students. What guarantee do Sauder students have that this funding will benefit the faculty and the education of students within the school, beyond buying back its reputation? With so many questions left unanswered, it's no wonder Commerce students have qualms coughing up $52 over the next several years — even if it could hurt the school's reputation for the referendum to be rejected. FIRE DEPARTMENT RESTRICTS PARTIES Anyone who's been to an Abdul Ladha Science Student Centre party knows the building is rarely, if ever, "grossly over-occupied," as the Vancouver fire department has called it. Sweaty, definitely. But it seems a little absurd to cut the occupancy by 35 per cent as the fire department is demanding. This is going to be a bummer for the SUS, who will lose the portion of their funding that used to come from these ticket sales. We're still waiting to hear how the change will impact other buildings. Robert Morton, founder of TheCalendar.ca, said that students will continue to party, even if the capacity of every student centre is reduced to zero. That's the spirit! A MISSING S80M FOR THE AMS At the Oct. 7 AMS executive committee meeting, members discussed a plan to make a financial contribution to a rapid transit line to UBC. The whole plan was based around UBC contributing $80 million to a Broadway line. The committee believed the AMS should levy a student fee to help fund the line, as as well as contribute to a bike share program. The meeting minutes end abruptly, but there was considerable debate as to whether students should have to pay the fee. However, there was one other problem with the plan: UBC never committed $80 million to rapid transit. Whoops, you mean the AMS exec was planning their transit budget on a premise that was off by $80 million? Why yes, we do mean that. When asked about the plan, VP external Tanner Bokor later said the entire initiative was scrapped because they received false information about UBC's funding commitments. We hope the AMS, who is in charge of negotiating our U-Pass contract and advocating on behalf of students on transit, would be working with accurate information. Recent events do not exactly inspire confidence in the AMS. WHAT NOT TO DO ON HALLOWEEN The costumes we cover in our Halloween costume guide are unmitigatedly cheap and, perhaps, dreary in their simplicity. But at least there's a certain charm to them. The same cannot be said for 99 per cent ofthe costumes that will be worn at college parties tonight: outfits whose relevance subsists solely on fleeting pop culture references. Such laziness, in our opinion, does not reflect the ingenuity and wit to which UBC students should aspire in all their creative endeavours — granting, of course, that some of us at The Ubyssey are more likely than most to use Halloween as the flimsiest of pretences to get absolutely smashed. Nevertheless, as a public media institution, it's our tacit responsibility to take a stance on trends that characterize our society. We therefore condemn the exploitation of any ofthe following costumes: • Anyone from Breaking Bad. Yup, even Badger and Skinny Pete. But you can if you are a) one ofthe actors, or b) you can do a really good season 4 finale Gus Fring. • Benedict Cumberbatch as Julian Assange. Unless you are Benedict Cumberbatch. If you want to go meta, try being Julian Assange going as Sherlock Holmes who is actually Benedict Cumberbatch. After all, they're both on the search for truth and justice, right? • An NSA agent, or Edward Snowden. Yawn. • Miley Cyrus at the VM As. Unless you are a morbidly obese man, in which case, all power to you. • Vladimir Putin, unless you can pull off a sexy Putin. Actually, he is sexy regardless. Never mind. • Lou Reed. Too soon. • Tom Clancy. Not because it's too soon, but because it's neither clever nor subversive. • Margaret Thatcher. If only because a freak magical Halloween incident might cause her to come back from the dead and unleash a new era of gross privatization and power suits. XI // Scene PIC OF THE WEEK =HOTO JOSH CURRAN/THE UBYSSEY If Thunderbird basketball forward Conor Morgan's wingspan doesn't impress you, his grip strength surely will. Our photographer used differently coloured gels on his flashes to achieve the blue-orange effect. CANADA WE5T MEN'S 5DCCER FINAL 5IX THUNDERBIRDS TOP GOAL SCORER: MARCUS JOHNSTONE [5] G0AL5 FOR/GOALS AGAINST E5/E2 UITH THE MD57 rELLDU CARDS IN THE FINAL SIX. ALBERTA'S PHYSICAL STYLE COULD EITHER MAKE OR BREAK THEN. AB GOLDEN BEARS GAME 1 THURSDAY. OCT. 31 a 1 P.M. C-7-1 UFV CASCADES idp goal scorer cdnndr macmillan [h] goals forigoals against: 19/ez uith the second wost corners in the division, ufv's winders are ones to watch out for. WINNER GAME 1 TOP UAL SCORER: MILAD MEHRABI [11] GOALS F0RIGDAL5 AGAINST: H7/B AS DEFENDING CHAMPS, THE T-BIRDS ARE NO UNOEHDDD5 IN THIS COMPETITION. E5T FINAL a WINNER GAME 2 SEMIFINAL FRIDAY, NOV. 1 ■ K:3D P.M. TOP GOAL 5C0RER: CAMERON 5T0KE5 [11] GOALS FOR/GOALS AGAINST: HD/TB VICTORIA LEAD5 THE SHOOTING PACK, AVERAGING 1B.7 SHOTS PER GAME VICTORIA VIKES IU J I GAME 2 THURSDAY. OCT 31 a 3:30 P.M. E-E-B CALGARY 0IN0 TOP GOAL SCORER: IZAK LAURENCE [7] GOALS FDR/GOALS AGAINST: 18-33 ONE POINT ABOVE LAST-PLACED UFV OVERALL, THE DINOS ARE A DEFINITE UNDERDOG. TOP DDAL 5CORER: BRETT LEVI5 [T] GOALS F0R/GDAL5 AGAINST: EB/1B AS THE HIGHEST STORING TEAM IN THE PRAIRIE aiVlSIHN, THEIR tlB DO LOOKS BLEAK AGAINST • UK AND SASKATCHEWAN RECIEVED BYES FDR WINNING THEIR RESPECTIVE DIVISIONS > ALL GAMES PLAYED AI THUNDERBIRD STADIUM ' BRONZE MEDAL GAME TD BE PLAYED AT 11 A.M. ON SUNDAY, NOV. 3 First person to find Arno Rosenfeld gets 100 copies ofthe paper. (Hint: he's not at Pie R Squared or in the office.) 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