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skos:note """ Taking cake to the face SINCE 1918
March 12,20121 vol. XCIII iss. XLVI
SASC COORDINATOR
RESIGNS
Milewski says AMS ^P^B
neglected support service __t ^_w
UNDERGRAD
SOCIETIES
GO TO THE 21 Page 2103.12.2012
What's on
This week, may we suggest..
Cuts for Cancer: 10am-4pm @ SUB concourse
For those of you not terribly attached to your hair and with a heart of
gold, the annual Cuts for Cancer head-shavings and haircuts will be taking place in the SUB. Proceeds from haircuts will go to towards cancer
research and you'll get a sassy new 'do in the process.
TUE
art:
Circle painting: 12pm @ Global
Lounge
Wonder how Pollock created his
paintings? Check out the Global
Lounge's circle painting. If you want
to create large-scale paintings with
other students, grab a paintbrush
and have at 'er.
THU
JOBS»
AIESC Internships Meeting
AIESEC is a club that provides
students with internships at their
chapters around the world. Students are encouraged to come
out in order to learn about the
process and the club itself.
Student Appreciation Sale:
9:30-6pm @ UBC Bookstore
Load up on textbooks; the
Bookstore will be selling its merchandise at reduced cost.
Sigma Phi Delta presents
Green Slime: 7-1am @ Sigma
Phi Delta house
The engineering frat is hosting a
St Patrick's Day party. It's pretty
sweet. It'll be like one of those
movies about college.
Got an event you'd like to see on this page? Send your event
and your best pitch to printeditor@ubyssey.ca.
THEUBYSSEY
Vlarch 12,2012, Volume XCIII, Issue XLV
EDITORIAL
Coordinating Editor
Justin McElroy
coordinating@u bysseyca
Managing Editor, Print
Jonny Wakefield
orinteditor@ubysseyca
Managing Editor, Web
Arshy Mann
webeditor@ubysseyca
News Editors
Kalyeena Makortoff
& Micki Cowan
news@u bysseyca
Art Director
Geoff Lister
a rt@u bysseyca
Culture Editor 4
Ginny Monaco
culture@u bysseyca
Senior Culture Writer
Will Johnson 1
wjohnson@u bysseyca
Sports Editor
Drake Fenton
sports@ubyssey.ca *
Features Editor
Brian Piatt
featu res@u bysseyca
Copy Editor
Karina Palmitesta
copy@ubysseyca
Video Editor
David Marino
video@ubysseyca
Senior Web Writer
Andrew Bates
abates@ubysseyca
Graphics Assistant
Indiana Joel
joel@ubysseyca
Webmaster
Jeff Blake
webmaster@u bysseyca
STAFF
Andrew Hood, Bryce
Warnes, Catherine
Guan, David Elopjor
Chiang, Josh Curran, Wil
McDonald, Tara Martellaro
Virginie Menard,Scott
MacDonald, Anna Zoria.
Peter Wojnar, Tanner
Bokor, Dominic Lai, Mark-
Andre Gessaroli, Natalya
Kautz, Kai Jacobson, R_
Reid, Colin Chia, Mine
Wong.CJ Pentland, Laura
Rodgers, Jeff Aschkinasi
Business Manager
Fernie Pereira
ousiness@u bysseyca
Ad Sales
Ben Chen
advertising@u bysseyca
Accounts
Sifat Hasan
a ceo u nts@u bysseyca
LEGAL
CONTACT
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feedback@ubyssey.ca
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Business Office
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advertising
@ubyssey.ca
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are an autonomous democratically
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oy the Ubyssey staff. They are the
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Our Campus
One on one with
the people who
make UBC
>3
GEOFF LISTER^HE UBYSSEY
On being unboring: "I think sometimes we forget that you get to sit all day and discuss really cool things. That's fun, right?"
Nick Thornton on a mission to unbore UBC
Lisa Anderson
Contributor
"Why aren't buildings just painted
violent purple? Why is everything
so muted?" says Nick Thornton.
It's a point that fits into Thornton's
larger view of university: that maybe the things we're here to learn
could be a little more fun.
And that's part of why he
launched UnboringLearning.com.
Thornton's used his passion
for the humanities—specifically
Canadian and American history,
English, sociology and gender
studies—to create a series of videos and blog-style posts on his
favourite topics for the recently
launched website.
So far, he's given his take on
the Progressive Era, the Lower
Canadian Rebellion, the history of
the banana and how to pronounce
the letter R—among other topics.
Thornton also produces videos to
go along with each topic. When
you're finished watching, you can
enter your email address, and the
notes are sent right to your inbox.
"I get how busy people are," says
Thornton, who works three jobs
and goes to school full-time. "But
learning should be fun."
Thornton is a self-proclaimed
nerd: interested in everything.
He tries to weigh that against
the burnout he's seen in many of
his peers. "I think sometimes we
forget that, you get to sit all day
and discuss really cool things
like history or English or biology—that's fun, right?" With a
host of libraries, researchers and
world-class lecturers, UBC is a
candy store and Thornton is the
proverbial kid.
Though most of his time and
money goes into university, he
still makes time for travel and
the odd adventure. Once, he and
a friend unknowingly broke into
a tennis court in Japan. "There
was this big high fence around it.
That should've been our first clue."
Security and police came running
out to what was, in fact, the private
court of a luxury hotel. "What?"
Thornton said at the time. "We're
just playingtennis!"
Most nights, however, aren't
spent breaking into Japanese tennis courts. Instead, Thornton can
be found expandingthe new website, which lie produces along with
a few friends. He also works at the
Chapman Learning Commons. He
wants people to enjoy the learning
process. "You may hate the book
or hate the poem or whatever, but
ifyou shut down, you're really not
goingto learn anything and it's a
missed opportunity."
Thornton has a few other suggestions to help make a subject
more appealing, such as talking
to your professors. And, he says,
don't be afraid of subjects you
don't really like. It's about being
open to learning and using your
imagination. "Buildings are too
beige, people too tame and society
too unimaginative. Let's change all
that." 13
I
Through the Valley
of the Shadow:
Reflections on Pain, Suffering and Life with God
Know
someone
who should
be profiled
for Our
Campus?
Contact Jonny Wakefield
printeditor@ubyssey.ca
March R; I WaS
Dismayed: Living with
an ImwMi: Illness
Pulin 30 with Edwin Scjny
March 15:1 Don't Havr
a Spatula: Living auj'tJi
Ali'tUuJ lUtUSt and Distress
Fulil'. 2} With K.iilhcVi'i fiiiliJrIL
.Mijvcfj 21: Coming Home to the
Costnox Ecological Crisis as an
Identity Grists
Pulrn 19 vsiih Bnca S»n£uin
n:japm, Room wo of cl>^ lan.i Building
6000 loiM Driv* (UBC Cirtipu*)
Ftm Sn.iclti mid Coftrc Provided
I
Presented by United Church Campus Ministry
www. ubc-united 5.cj News»
Editors: Kalyeena Makortoff & Micki Cowan
03.12.2012 | 3
ANIMAL RESEARCH »
UBC opens new animal research facility on Vancouver campus
Kalyeena Makortoff
News Editor
UBC opened a new animal research
facility last week, but activists aren't
convinced that animal interests
have been taken to heart.
The $40 million Centre for
Comparative Medicine (CCM) will
replace the Animal Care Centre
(ACC), which housed and distributed the university's research animals
for over 30 years.
But STOP UBC Animal Research
(STOP) said UBC shouldn't be
spending money on a new facility
like the CCM.
"No amount of fresh paint and
shiny cages in a brand spanking new
building will improve the lives of
monkeys who are given electroconvulsive shocks or who have poisons
injected into their brains," said
STOP director Brian Vincent.
He said that the standard set by
the Canadian Council for Animal
Care (CCAC) "requires UBC to ultimately reduce the numbers of animals used in research. But it appears
from the data UBC released lastyear
that the numbers of animals used in
research at UBC is increasing.
"UBC should not be investing
resources in building new animal
research facilities. Instead, UBC
should invest funds in developing
non-animal alternatives."
Lucie McNeill, director of UBC
Public Affairs, said the facility is an
improvement on the old site. "The
standards of this building surpass
the standards set by the CCAC,"
she said. "It incorporates the latest
thinking on humane animal care
and animal welfare in terms of their
housing and the stimulating environment that they're in. They're
kept in social groups...most of them
have access to the outside."
While the facility is smaller than
the ACC, the animal housing capacity has not changed; the facility
could house an estimated "several
hundred" animals.
The old ACC is set to be decommissioned and all animals have
already been moved to the CCM.
While the BC Society for the
Prevention of Cruelty to Animals
has launched an investigation into
one of UBC's research projects that
led to the deaths of four macaque
monkeys, McNeill didn't anticipate
that the new facility will be under
scrutiny from the animal welfare
organization.
"Our campaign remains deeply
concerned that UBC will remain
tight-lipped about the work being
done in the Comparative Centre for
Medicine," said Vincent, "which
means the public will have no idea
what researchers are doing to animals behind the facility's locked
doors." 3,3
SERVICES »
SASC coordinator set to resign
Milewski: AMS neglected Sexual Assault Support Centre
Jonny Wakefield
Managing Editor, Print
The coordinator ofthe AMS Sexual
Assault Support Centre (SASC) has
resigned, citing a lack of support
for the centre from AMS staff
Outgoing coordinator Sharon
Milewski said the centre has received little support from permanent SUB staff since she was hired
in October. SASC provides support
and referral services for people
who have been sexually assaulted,
as well as running information
campaigns
"I don't feel like SASC was being
acknowledged by higher-ups as an
important service," said Milewski.
"It's sort of like pulling teeth to
get something done. I've been told
that sometimes SASC gets forgotten about because of its office location," she said. SASC is located on
the east corner ofthe SUB's main
floor. "But just because something
isn't right in your face doesn't
mean it's not your responsibility."
Milewski said there have been
serious security concerns about
the office that have not been addressed. She cites an incident from
last August, where a SASC staff
person was reportedly assaulted
while working alone. That person
quit her position shortly thereafter.
A security camera for the office
has yet to be installed.
In an email dated February 2,
former AMS President Jeremy
McElroy complained to AMS staff
about the lack of progress on the
security cameras. "Four months
ago the [Business and Facilities]
Committee and Council approved
the installation of security cameras
News briefs
UBC invents "robo-fur" able to
detect sensation
UBC scientists have created a robo-
bunny able to detect its user's emotions. The device calms users down
or cheers them up by leading them
through several deep-breathing
exercises.
Developed by graduate student
Anna Flag, the gadget is able to distinguish between a pet. a scratch, a
breath and up to 30 other gestures.
"The one thing a robot can do
that's different from an animal is truly
be in the service of its owner and do
what the owner needs it to do." said
Karon MacLean. a UBC computer
science professor and leader of
the lab where the device is being
developed.
ERIC INASI^HE UBYSSEY
The Sexual Assault Support Centre's location made it easy for AMS senior staff to forget it, said resigning coordinator Sharon Milewski
and a panic button in the SASC
area following an incident involving a distressed client in the office," he wrote. "Much to my concern there are still no cameras and
no panic button in the space.
"This has taken far too long and
now we have tangible concerns
in addition to our previous safety
concerns."
SASC was also without a supervisor, as the position went unfilled
throughout Milewski's term.
"[There was] no one to advocate
for me and SASC to upper management," she said. "I was told when
I was hired in October that person
should be in any day now."
Now that she's stepping down,
Milewski hopes the office won't sit
BC SPC A to investigate UBC
animal research project
The BC Society for the Prevention
of Cruelty to Animals (SPCA) has
launched an investigation into UBC
animal research practices after
numerous complaints from local animal rights group STOP UBC Anima
Research.
The complaints stemmed from
reports last week that four macague
monkeys had been killed after being
injected with neurotoxins. The SPCA
is also investigating whether there is
adeguate oversight within the UBC
Animal Care Committee. As part of
the examination, an outside expert
will conduct a thorough analysis of the testing facility and their
practices.
empty, as it did earlier this school
year when the AMS failed to fill
the vacancy left by the previous
SASC coordinator.
AMS President Matt Parson
said he hopes to address SASC's
communication concerns. He also
said the AMS is working to hire
a director of student services—
the position senior to the SASC
coordinator—but has encountered
difficulties due to the specialized
nature of the job.
"Our hope is that the added level
of support that this position will
be able to bring will help take off
some ofthe burden and some of
the stress ofthe SASC manager,"
he said.
The AMS said they plan to hire
UBC-O student union under
new leadership
For the first time in UBC Okanagan's
history, its student union has a new
slate in power.
In this year's student election, the
ACTION slate defeated the incumbent Students 4 Students (S4S)
slate in every race, according to The
Phoenix.
S4S has won every UBC-O election
since the campus opened in 2005.
Slates, banned in AMS elections, are
permitted at UBC-O.
Election issues this year addressed
transparency, student services and
the resources spent on federal and
provincial lobbying campaigns.
Unofficial results revealed a 24 per
cent voter turnout.
a manager before Milewski leaves
on April 10. Parson said there will
be no disruption of service, and
if a candidate cannot be found,
the AMS will look to establish a
contract with a third-party victim
services worker.
But Milewski said this was not
the timeframe she was initially
given.
"I was told this week that my
position wasn't goingto get hired
until May or June," she said. "Then
I said, 'Okay, I guess I'll go talk to
the newspaper.'
"When I implied a few days ago
that I was potentially going to talk
to The Ubyssey, that's when ten
minutes later the president shows
up at my office." ^
CUS to re-run student election
Elections for the Commerce Undergraduate Society (CUS)'s AMS Council
representative will be re-run. as more
people voted to reject both candidates than to elect either of them.
Landon Goold received 322 votes
and Rachael Reddy received 193
votes. But 339 people selected "No
Vote." forcing a by-election. Four
candidates, including Goold. will run
a second time. "We hope that people
will be just as engaged as the previous election." said CUS elections officer Maria Sun. "People are aware of
it. and that's always a good sign."
The election's other races-including Senate, ombudsperson and a
referendum-ran normally, with Jackie
Leung elected CUS president. 13
TECHNOLOGY»
AMS app aims to
help you beat the
lunchtimerush
YARA DEJONGATHE UBYSSEY
Maiyatree Dhaka
Contributor
The AMS is developing an app that
will make lunch lines shorter, allowing students to pre-order meals
from AMS food outlets in the SUB.
"We are [currently] restricted
now on how fast an order is processed and by the amount of point
of sale units at each outlet," said Uli
Laue, director of operations ofthe
AMS.
"With an online ordering app, we
transform the user's smartphone
into an extension of our outlet, increasing capacities."
Laue wasn't able to speculate on
the app's ordering capacity, but said
it will depend on how many orders
are placed to each outlet.
"The volumes we can handle will
greatly depend on when orders are
placed and what items are chosen.
If users pre-order hours before the
pick-up time, we will be able to deploy resources to meet that demand
easier than a few minutes before
the pick-up time is requested," Laue
said.
Robbie Bousadda, manager of Pie
R Squared, said they already have
pretty fast service, but some aspects
could be streamlined.
"The app would work perfectly
for whole pizzas, but not so well for
individual slices. Instead of phoning
or sending an email or coming in
person, it would make it much easier
for them and us," said Bousadda.
Students with smartphones were
excited bythe idea.
"When I'm in class, I'd definitely
use it. I go to the SUB a lot because
I have lunch breaks at that time but
usually it's super busy, so having
an app would help," said third-year
Arts student Kailee Kotilla.
"You could be in class and order
something and come and pick it up.
It would make things much more
efficient," said Abigail Shakespeare,
also a third-year Arts student.
The app is expected to be available in September free of charge. 13 4 I NeWS 03.12.2012
ACTIVISM »
UBC group opposes Enbridge pipeline
UBCC 350 was inspired by 350.org, a global movement aimed at reducing carbon emissions worldwide
Evan Brow
Contributor
The 1000 kilometres between
Vancouver and Kitimat, BC isn't
stopping UBC students and faculty from speaking out against
the Enbridge Northern Gateway
Pipeline.
UBC Community 350
(UBCC350) was formed in
November, inspired by350.org, a
global movement to reduce carbon
emissions to 350 parts per million.
The 35-member group is taking issue with carbon exports in British
Columbia.
The group wants to inform the
UBC populace about the Enbridge
pipeline, a controversial proposal
currently going through the federal government's National Energy
Board. The project proposes a
pipeline between Edmonton and
Kitimat to transport over 525,000
barrels of oil per day.
"We think the province needs to
take more responsibility for those
exports. We'd like the province to
start by saying no to the Northern
Gateway Pipeline," wrote George
Hoberg, a UBC Forestry professor,
in an email.
UBCC350 held a talk about the
pipeline last Thursday, where presenters said that expanding emissions without any sort of policy
change is inexcusable.
Featured speaker and UBC political science professor Kathryn
Harrison said that while the BC
government has adopted aggressive greenhouse gas reduction targets, including the carbon tax, they
aren't looking at the global impact
of their policies.
"We're exporting all kinds of
fossil fuels from British Columbia
that then have emissions elsewhere," said Harrison. "Ifyou
take into account the complete
footprint, emissions that occur
within British Columbia as well as
the carbon that we're exporting,
the overall footprint is three times
bigger than if we just look at our
domestic emissions."
Gordon Katie, a fourth-year
philosophy and political science
student, is a member of UBCC350
and also presented at the event.
"It's really easy to take action,"
said Katie.
"All you have to do is open your
eyes and see that there are a bunch
of other passionate and engaged
individuals who care about these
issues, and you just need to make
an effort to reach out to them and
say, 'Hey, we share common values.
Let's try and find a way to actually
effect some change.'"
Hoberg said that UBCC350's major event for the year—called Storm
the Riding—will be held March 31.
"We are canvassing the
Vancouver-Point Grey riding to
inform voters about the carbon
exports problem and get signatures
on a petition to ask Premier Clark
to say no to the Northern Gateway
Pipeline," he said.
"Next fall we'll be taking additional political action." ^
STUDENT POLITICS »
AMS looks to give
more Council
members a vote
Laura Rodgers
StaffWriter
Students at the Vancouver School
of Theology (VST) pay hundreds of
dollars in AMS fees, but that doesn't
mean they get a vote.
Emily Jarrett, an AMS representative for VST who regularly
attends Council meetings, is one of
those students.
The three affiliated theological colleges-VST, St Mark's and
Regent College—are not currently
entitled to voting seats on AMS
Council. Jarrett feels that without a
vote, the VST doesn't have a real say
in what the AMS does.
"We pay student fees, we are
members ofthe student body as far
as AMS services are concerned,"
said Jarrett.
"Because we are part of it, we feel
we should have representation."
But the AMS is looking into
changing that in the near future.
An informal poll of full-time VST
students—which was taken at their
student society meeting in the fall-
indicated there would be strong
support for the change, according
to Jarrett.
Adding new representatives to
Council would require an amendment to the AMS's bylaws. Such a
change requires a referendum to be
called, and have at least 8 per cent
of students who are AMS members
vote for the change, and no more
than 25 per cent of votes be against
the change.
The AMS's Legislative
Procedures Committee (LPC) is
considering putting such an amendment on the ballot when students
vote to renew the U-Pass program
in the fall.
Kyle Warwick, former LPC chair
and current AMS VP External,
said that it's unfair to take student
dollars and not give them an equal
voice. "LPC was pretty clear that
there isn't an ethically sound reason
to not give them voting seats," he
said.
Students at VST aren't the only
ones concerned about their lack of
AMS representation.
Warwick said that Diploma in
Accounting program (DAP) students, who are part ofthe Sauder
School of Business but don't belong
to the Commerce Undergraduate
Society, are also seeking a voting
Council seat.
One difficulty in getting representation for DAP students is that
the program doesn't have a student
organization with mandatory membership, which would result in difficulties in holding a election for all
eligible students.
"There's a lot of things, procedurally, [that are] not clear on how to
do that," said Warwick.
Newly-elected LPC chair Hans
Seidemann remains unsure of
whether he will push for the new
seats, however.
"They kind of are arm's-length
organizations, so if they want to
become voting members I would
think that we'd want to make sure
that everything was consistent
among them and existing AMS voting members," said Seidemann, an
EUS member.
"I think what's maybe more important is that students from those
schools, if they are feeling disenfranchised, we find avenues for
them to get involved in the business
ofthe AMS.
"The best way to do that may not
be through modifying bylaws and
creating voting member status, but
rather to create and enforce mechanisms whereby they're able to give
feedback and have their concerns
heard and things like that."
But Jarrett wants to make sure
that VST is able to influence AMS
decisions about concerns specific to
VST students, and said she would
use a voting seat to push for measures such as increasing psychiatric
care benefits for dependents.
"A lot of our students are mature.
A lot of them have families, spouses,
children," she said. ^B
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www.food.ubc.ca
PH: 604-822-9503
Building#4 2205 Lower Mall
n am - io pm M, T, W, Sun
n am -11 pm Th, F, Sat
person to
enter The
Ubyssey
office and
hug Geoff
Lister wins
100 free
copies of
the paper.
Great for
swatting
flies!
COME BY THE WBFSSEFOFFICE
SUB 24, FOLLOW THE SIGNS »
LAaj^Il
|r ^ *j ~~ w'
ill
c
^^
* 6 I NeWS 03.122012
ANOTEFROMTHE EDITORS
From career fairs to beer gardens, academic workshops to graduation blowouts, the undergraduate societies of UBC do all sorts of things for students. Three ofthe largest societies-the Arts Undergraduate Society (AUS), Science Undergraduate Society (SUS) and Kinesiology Undergraduate
Society (KUS)-all have hotly contested presidential races this year. The undergraduate societies are charged with large sums ofyour student fees,
and play a unigue role in defining student life at UBC. The Ubyssey has given candidates a chance to explain what sets them apart in their own words,
asking each of them to respond this guestion: "What makes you different from the other candidates in your race, and why should students vote for
you?" The Engineering Undergraduate Society was originally going to be covered here as well, but with one candidate withdrawing from the race early
lan Campbell now runs unopposed. The Land and Food Systems Undergraduate Society also has a single-candidate presidential election, with Whitney
Hussain running unopposed. Voting is running online this week at the respective undergraduate society websites.
-LAURA RODGERS + WILL McDONALD GUEST EDITORS
KUS CANDIDATES
AlexRebchuk
My vast involvements within the Faculty of
Kinesiology differentiate me from my opponent
in the KUS presidential race. In my previous
three years at UBC, I have been involved in many
positions within the KUS. Specifically, this past
year I was the Health Science Stream representative, I worked with the tutoring program and was
involved in coordinating numerous KUS social
events. One of my biggest leadership responsibilities involves being the KIN
frosh coordinator. In addition, I have represented the Faculty of Kinesiology
at the KIN Games, have been on numerous KIN rec teams (Longboat
champs!) and been involved with UBC orientations. Essentially, what sets me
apart from my opponent is that I eat, sleep and breathe KIN!
I believe that the promises I have made in my platform address issues
important to Kinesiology students. As president, I would work to develop a
better student space for Kinesiology students. Currently, our student space
consists of a few tables, chairs, old computers and textbooks at Osbourne Gym
and is shared with labs and other groups. As president, I would help provide
Kinesiology students with a dedicated student space that fits our social and
academic needs. As well, I want to establish a KIN week, featuring a variety
of events in which Kinesiology students can show the rest of UBC that we are
the smartest, most fun and best-looking faculty on campus! Lastly, I am never
afraid to speak up. As president I would be an outspoken voice for the opinions of Kinesiology students to the faculty, staff, community and AMS.
My previous leadership roles within the faculty make me the ideal person
to be KUS president. I hope that KIN students give me the opportunity to represent them and continue to expand and improve our faculty and the KUS!
Alyssa Reyes
If I had to sum myself up in three words they
would be "approachable," "genuine" and "determined." There are so many things I would
love to do for the KUS. I want to continue to
develop the projects created this year such as
Kin-TV and Relay for Life, similar to what I was
able to help do with our Kin Games Team as a
co-coordinator. I have always been a goal-setter,
driven for change. I am a big believer in making small steps towards large
goals; utilizing the opportunities board, organizing an open forum and catering events to first-years and transfer students to get involved are all stepping
stones to drive for student engagement. I am an advocate for student involvement; I want the KUS to be well-represented by involving a variety of students
in Kin and ensuring I am available and relatable to Kin students. By staying
involved in all aspects of Kin life and listeningto as many voices as possible, I
can be that person. If elected, with the support ofthe Kin student body, I will
devote all my energy towards continuingthe long-standingtradition of being
the loudest and proudest on campus and develop ways to engage the entire
faculty.
KIN UNDERGRADUATE SOCIETY
The two KUS presidential candidates,
Alex Rebchuk and Alyssa Reyes, are
both third-year students specializing in
kinesiology and health science. Aside
from sharing a major and friendship,
the two have another thing in common—neither has held an executive
position before.
"I think that's goingto be a weakness ofthe KUS next year...that no
one [running] has any experience in
an executive role on the KUS," said
Rebchuk.
However, both candidates are still
optimistic about the upcoming year. And
Rebchuk thinks that a less-experienced
executive team will promote a new style
of thinking.
"I think that's goingto give us afresh
perspective. We get to run where we
want to run," he said.
"We won't have anyone from previous
years holding us back, saying, 'This has
SCIENCE UNDERGRADUATE SOCIETY
Regardless of which new president they
choose, Science students can continue to
expect a buttoned-up, professional development-focused Science Undergraduate
Society (SUS) next year.
Both SUS presidential candidates,
Mona Maleki and Joaquin Acevedo, hope
to ensure that the SUS can help students
succeed in their careers in the pressures of
today's job market.
"One ofthe main platform points is
a professional development and career
development focus. What it would entail is
workingwith Career Services and Student
Development as well as the Faculty of
Science," said Acevedo. A second-year cognitive systems student, Acevedo has served
on the SUS first-year committee and is this
year's SUS director of finance.
Maleki, who is a third-year biology student, was a first-year SUS representative
and has served as this year's VP internal.
She said she's worked to increase SUS's
communication with Student Development
this year, includingthe faculty-focused
groups SCI Team and Science Peer
Academic Coaches.
"I'd say definitely SUS has changed a
lot, from a very social organization to a
lot more professional development," said
Acevedo, describing what he had seen at a
SUS alumni reunion event.
A survey of Science students carried out
bythe SUS last fall shows the same thing.
Both Maleki and Acevedo noted that the
survey indicated students were interested
in the SUS providing more career-focused
resources.
Acevedo also wants to work with the
AMS to create opportunities for extern-
ships, or extended job-site tours, while
Maleki stressed the importance of creating
a science career fair.
Both also claimed that one ofthe SUS's
main weaknesses was ineffective communication with students at large.
"One ofthe things that would be different would definitely be a little more
engagement with the students. In the past,
the president [has been] very hands-off,"
said Acevedo.
Maleki called Kiran Mahal's performance as this year's president "phenomenal," but also stated, "We're still not as
approachable as we should be. Students
don't feel at ease comingto us."
Acevedo criticized the Faculty of
Science's academic advising structure and
wants to improve it, saying that advising
should be more one-on-one.
"Right now it's very much departmental,
and students don't really get that support
until they're in their programs in third
year," he added.
With such similar focuses, what sets the
two candidates apart? Maleki stressed the
importance of feedback and communication. She worries that club reps, who no
longer sit on SUS Council as of this year, may
need more opportunities to work together.
Acevedo, however, stated that he would
make the group "more of a lobbying organization, so [the SUS] can advocate for
students as far as academics go."
Both candidates have similar experience
within SUS, and similar priorities; their
posters even feature similarly-composed
approachable business-casual photos.
However votingturns out, it doesn't
take a rocket scientist—or a biologist, or a
cognitive systems major—to know what
SUS will be focusing on next year. 13
—Laura Rodgers
been done in the past, so it should be done in
the future.'"
Reyes plans to bridge the experience gap
by focusing on communication with students,
using avenues such as Facebook and Twitter.
"[I'm] really hoping to just be a relatable
and approachable person on the KUS exec,
I think that would make a huge difference.
Then people feel able to come to you with
ideas and concerns."
If elected, each candidate has different ambitions for the position.
Reyes hopes to shape the social atmosphere
ofthe School of Kinesiology.
"I think a whole bunch of it is just getting
everybody involved, and making it more of a
family."
She explained that the KUS had traditionally succeeded as a social organization. "The
KUS makes a point of making it more than
just going to class and studying and being involved in just academics. I think we're really
good at making a well-rounded experience."
Rebchuk sees the presidency as a chance to
establish a few attainable goals. "It's being in
that position where you can force things to go
through," he added.
He described hopes for creating a departmental "Kin Week" similar to other
faculty weeks. He also plans to update the
Kinesiology student space.
Despite differences in their goals, the two
candidates say the presidential race has not
affected their friendship. "When we see each
other in class, we're laughing the last few
days," said Rebchuk.
"We have this friendship where we've both
been involved in the Kin events together and
we're both representing our school together."
Both Rebchuk and Reyes plan to represent UBC in late March at the 11th annual
Canadian Kinesiology Games in Ottawa.
Reyes isn't letting campaigning get in the
way of their friendship either. "It's actually
been really nice," she said.
"We're both competitive people, but at the
same time it's a very friendly competition and
it's kind of a nice thing to have. It's a good
environment to be in." 13
—Natalya Kautz 03.i2.20i2 News
SUS CANDIDATES
Mona Maleki
I My name is Mona and I am running to be
your next SUS president. I am a third-year
biology student and my motivation to run for this position comes from my passion for SUS complemented bythe
experiences I have acquired over the last few years. My
position ofVP Internal this past year in SUS is what truly
sets me apart and demonstrates my capability in following
through with my platform. This year, I took on the projects
of creating an effective council orientation, running a more efficient council retreat, and
I co-chaired both academic as well as first-year committee. I was able to gain knowledge
and feedback in both first-year transition processes as well as in the different science
programs/departments. The relationship I established with student development and
my communication with the dean's office strengthens the basis from which I draw my
confidence in running for this role.
Apart from having the inside knowledge and experience which would support me
in the running of this undergraduate society, I am also an approachable person especially when it comes to SUS. I have always considered it a top priority to engage students
whether through my presentations or one-on-one conversations. At times, I have even
taken the drastic step of drawing on a blue moustache to show that at the end ofthe day
we are all just students, drawing from each others' experiences and trying to make sense
of our undergraduate experience. Students should vote because their voice is at the foundations of this undergraduate society and you should vote for me because I can oversee
and create an undergraduate society, which, like an enzyme, will depend on your voices
as substrates to catalyze the many possible reactions. Please visit my website www.wix.
com/monamaleki/prez.
AUS CANDIDATES
Joaquin Acevedo
I'm Joaquin Acevedo—currently second-year COGS student—
and I'm running to be your next SUS president. I believe that
I have the skills, experience and passion to be your SUS president. The society does fantastic work for Science students
that benefit us both socially and academically. I want to be
able to lead the SUS executive team to create a better, more
relevant SUS. I will focus on expanding our services and
making them more accessible. Additionally, I want to work
with the faculty and other offices around campus to provide students professional and
career development opportunities. All of this, and of course continuation from previous
years.
Please visit my website www.joaquinforsus.com for more details and remember to vote
Joaquin for SUS president!
ARTSUNDERGRADUATE SOCIETY
Jeff Boudreau, Jenny Chen and Harsev
Oshan are competing to be president of
the AUS and its 12,000 students.
The president is in charge of providing services and social events to students
through the AUS. One ofthe main issues
discussed by the candidates is the improvement ofthe Meekison Arts Student Space
(MASS). All three presidential hopefuls
agree that the current student space leaves
something to be desired.
Chen, a third-year art history and visual
arts student, said one of her main platform points is to renovate MASS, but
Boudreau thinks Arts students need an
entirely new building.
"Arts students need their own
space...a whole building dedicated to
Arts students," said Boudreau, a third-
year archaeology and history student.
Oshan, a second-year political science student, plans to renovate MASS,
as well as push for additional student
space elsewhere in Buchanan.
Student involvement is another issue
candidates look to address. Boudreau
believes that rebranding the AUS will
make students more engaged, but
Oshan thought club activity was the
key.
"We're focusing too much on branding the AUS and we're not focusing on
the quality of participation from the
clubs," said Oshan.
Oshan said he plans to design an Arts
day planner containing profiles of each
club, and also to institute an inter-club
competition.
"Increasing competition will make
the clubs more active. And when students see that the clubs are more active, students will want to get involved
[with the AUS]," said Oshan.
Chen feels one of AUS's most important aspects is the services it provides.
She also stated that students are often
apprehensive about documenting complaints or issues with the AUS and believes
an online survey would allow students'
voices to be heard.
As far as event planning, Chen said she
would focus on creating a "better and bigger" Arts week by surveying students to
find out what events they would like to see.
Boudreau, on the other hand, would like
to put on weekly events in MASS for Arts
students.
"I would like to have a beer garden every
second Friday ofthe month for the year.
And the odd Fridays, have it be non-alcoholic events," said Boudreau.
"Every Friday, every Arts student
[should] know they can come to MASS for
something."
The candidates have also been addressing internal issues within the AUS.
Oshan said that committees should be
restructured and that methods for monetary reimbursement need to be improved.
"This year, we've had some problems
with the financial processes, where payments have been delayed...it discourages
coordinators and counsellors from using
their own money. Also, the spirit goes
down," said Oshan.
Accordingto Boudreau, the position
of general officer, who has no defined responsibilities but can sit on various committees, needs to be reconsidered.
"There's something not right about the
position itself if no one's runningfor it,"
said Boudreau.
Chen said the biggest problem ofthe
AUS is the way it relates to its students.
"I feel that we should expand our list of
services, our list of events," she said. "We
have about 12,000 students and I feel like
we are not reaching enough."
Voting runs online from March 12 at
8am to March 16 at Spm. 13
-Will McDonald
Jeff Boudreau
Hello fellow Arts students,
For those who know me, you know I'm a planner, organizer, and that I'm ambitious with my
goals. For those who don't yet know me; I am
co-president ofthe Classical, Near Eastern, and
Religious Studies Students Association, I'm a
squad leader for the upcoming Imagine Day, I was
a panel moderator at this year's Arts Career Expo,
I'm involved with Arts tri-mentoring, and I was host and organizer of Gods
and Goddesses ofthe Ancient World 2012 Beer Garden.
Now, ifyou will indulge me, I'll share with you my plans for the AUS. I like
to think big and I see my platform as a common vision for many Arts students.
I will change the face ofthe AUS and I will do this by not just holding more
events at MASS, but instead having regular events every Friday with beer gardens held every second week.
Furthermore, I don't want to just renovate MASS or glass in the underpass
of Buchanan B for more student space; I want all Arts students coming together to leave a legacy in the form of a new Arts students' building.
Lastly, the role of general officer needs redefining and an increase to the
numbers for this position. This gives students more opportunity to have their
voices heard and their visions put forward to the AUS council. These three
steps lead to rebranding the AUS so that more students will feel there are
more events for them, that they are leaving a legacy for future Arts students,
and that they are being better represented bythe AUS. Ifyou have any questions about these or other issues I would love to hear from you by email at jeff.
boudreau@hotmail.com, or via Twitter @JeffBoudreaul.
Jenny Chen
My involvement with the AUS has been three
years through joining first-year committee,
functioning as a social coordinator and AUS
vice-president student life respectively. As
VP Student Life, I have been on the executive
team and interacting with the Arts council and
faculty, which helped me gain a much better
understanding ofthe AUS mechanism and its
procedures. Before taking up the position ofVP Student Life, I believed that
the core of an organization was best represented through its social events.
While this idea still holds some merit, my experience this year has taught me
that a successful organization must be well-rounded. We must maximize Arts
student benefits by addressing all aspects ofthe student experience, not just
the social ones.
With a firm grasp on institutional knowledge and innovative ideas for the
future, I have a clear vision for what is required of AUS to thrive as an organization. My three years AUS experience has allowed me to gain valuable
knowledge regarding the diverse needs of clubs, volunteers, Council members
as well as students at large. Following this year's success, I believe AUS should
aim higher and think bigger. If elected as president, I will ensure to achieve a
balance among all aspects of our accomplishments.
To learn more about my platform or past experiences, please visit my website: www.votejenny.ca.
Harsev Oshan
What makes me different from my opponents
is my vision for the society. I want us to work
'^gr\\ I towards seeing higher levels of engagement from
ifl |,
Events: 100m. 200m breaststroke
Achievements: Gold medal at the 2010
Youth Olympics in the 100m breaststroke
Annamay Pierse
Swam for the T-Birds from
2005-2009
Events: 100m. 200m breasts
Achievements: Set a world r<
irtha McCabe
Trains at UBC, completed her CIS eligibility this year
Events: 100m. 200m breaststroke
Achievements: Won bronze in the 200m
breaststroke at the 2011 World Swimming
Championships
Savannah King
Current UBC Thunderbird
Events: 400m. 800m freestyle
Achievements: Set the Canadian
ecord in the short-course 400m
reestyle. CIS s' 03.122012
Sports 19
SWIMMING »
Olympic profile:
King of the pool
Will Johnson
Senior Culture Writer
The best swimmers often look
like they're not even trying. Many
world-class competitors have a
languid quality to their strokes, an
effortless rhythm that gives spectators little evidence ofthe incredible
power being generated below the
surface. And no one knows this better than UBC swimmer Savannah
King, an Olympic long-distance
freestyler.
King broke the Canadian record
for the short-course 400-metre
freestyle last month with a time
of 4:02.76 at the CIS championships in Montreal. And she did it by
maintaining her deceptively powerful technique throughout the race,
while her competitors slowly lost
their momentum.
"I'm known for coming back fast
in the back end," King said. "I'm not
as fast as the other girls going out,
but they know I can come back basically the same speed as I went out.
They know I can come home in a
really fast 50."
King almost even-split the race,
completing the first 100 metres in
2:00.9 and then returning in 2:01.8.
She got a glimpse ofthe clock while
she was swimming, which let her
know she was on track to beat the
record held by retired BC swimmer
Brittany Reimer. She eventually
finished six seconds ahead of her
closest competitor.
"I finished the first 100 [metres]
in 58 seconds, and when I saw that I
was like, 'Well, I got this,'" she said.
Earlier that day, in a move reminiscent of Babe Ruth pointing to
the horizon, King had announced
her intention to best the Canadian
record on Facebook.
I finished the first 100
[metres] in 58 seconds
and when I saw that I
was like, Well, I got this.'
Savannah King
On setting the Canadian record in
400-metre freestyle
"I posted 'The Canadian record
is 4:03.61. Watch the clock on my
400/ so I kind of told everyone I was
goingto do it," she said. "Afterwards
someone commented, and they were
like, 'You called the corner pocket,
and then nailed it.'"
King considers herself an endurance swimmer, and she currently
holds the Canadian short-course
record for the 400m, 800m and
1500m freestyle. But she's had the
most success with the 400m race,
which she describes as a hybrid of
both sprint and endurance work.
"In the 800m, you're going fast,
but it's a different type of fast. You
have to have as much power with
as little effort as possible," she said.
"The 400m, though, is about speed.
My coach and I have been working
on a lot of stroke rate stuff, literally
getting the arms moving quicker."
Training consumes most of King's
life, taking up approximately 24
hours a week, but she also finds time
to take classes, workingtowards a
degree in kinesiology.
"All athletes go through it. You get
pretty good at time management, at
balancing everything," she said.
Luckily, she describes her teammates as a second family, and said
she receives top-notch coaching from
both Tom Johnson and Steve Price.
She credits Johnson for helping her
through a short lull a few years ago,
after her initial international success.
"Lots of swimmers hit that age,
and they kind of plateau. Tom helped
me through that period," she said.
King first qualified for the
Olympics at the age of 15, and ayear
later she was competing in the 400m
freestyle in Beijing. Finishing with
the 19th fastest time out of 42 competitors in the qualifying heats, she
said the experience was transformative. She already has the Olympic
rings tattooed on her leg, and a gold
Olympic ring as a souvenir from her
first stint. This time, she hopes to
qualify in more than one event.
And her recent successes in
Montreal have helped steel her resolve for the coming months, when
she'll have to qualify for her spot on
the Olympic team.
"I consider it a stepping stone,"
she said. "And I'm ready for the next
step." 13
JOSH CURRAN/THE UBYSSEY
Savannah King represented Canada at the 2008 Beijing Olympics. She hopes to represent her country once more in London
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B Editor- Rrian Piatt
03.122012 | IQ
NDIANAJOEL^HE UBYSSEY
The Last Word
Parting shots and snap judgments on today's issues
SASC may not be able to survive
as a student-run operation
Not only have two Sexual Assault
Support Centre (SASC) coordinators
resigned in the past seven months,
but now the outgoing coordinator
says that the centre was "[not] being
acknowledged by higher-ups as an
important service." This is cause for
serious examination of why it's so
difficult to keep SASC staffed.
The truth is that it will always be
difficult for a student union to find
qualified personnel to run the centre.
Give the nature of SASC, you cannot
make do with half-measures; you
either need to give the centre full resources, or admit that you are unable
to run it.
We have longbeen skeptical of
the idea that the AMS will be able to
properly run the SASC on its own,
and recent events have justified this
skepticism. The AMS should consider a partnership with the university
on sexual assualt support services to
ensure that the services are easily accessible and well-advertised.
In the end, while it would be nice
to keep SASC as a entirely student-
run service, it's more important that
SASC actually be able to perform the
services it promises.
The annoying sideshow of the
Genocide Awareness Project
On Thursday, the Genocide
Awareness Project (GAP) set up their
graphic display of aborted fetuses
outside the SUB in order to advance
their pro-life views. A small but vocal
group of protesters expressed their
outrage at the display, further incited
by the fact that GAP showed up on
International Women's Day.
In general, it is good for universities to have this sort of activism. Nobody's mind is likely to be
changed bythe heated exchange of
views, but everyone should still have
the right to make their arguments.
Whether graphic photos such as
GAP's should be displayed outdoors
in a prominent location on campus
is debatable. But we try to avoid
that debate, because it allows GAP
to play the victim and make this an
argument about free speech. In other
words, it becomes a total sideshow
to the much more important debate
about the fact that Canada, alone
among Western countries, has absolutely no legislation around abortion
procedures. That's an argument that
reasonable and intelligent people
can and should have with each other,
regardless of their position on abortion. Instead, GAP goads us into
distracting and pointless shout-fests,
and for that reason more than any
other, their presence on campus is
unwelcome—which is not the same
as saying they don't have the right to
be here.
Getting to know our campus
neighbours
With UBC having weighed in to
approve the results of January's
Board and Senate elections, the
AMS has finally learned the voting
privileges ofthe various affiliated
colleges of UBC. You know the ones,
right? Regent College, St. Mark's,
Vancouver School of Theology, Carey
Theological College? Do you know
any students from there? Or what
they do? Or how they contribute to
our campus community?
Ifyou don't understand what these
things are or how they relate to UBC,
you aren't alone. Even though they're
on our campus, seemingly everyyear
there's confusion and consternation
within the AMS over whether some
of these students deserve voting/
UPass/medical privileges.
What this demonstrates is a fundamental lack of communication to
students about who comprises this
campus. UBC has a responsibility
to better inform people about its affiliated groups on campus—if only
so their contributions can be better
recognized.
An embarrassing entrance to
the heart of campus
We get a lot of amusing emails,
but one of our favourites came last
month. It read:
"What's the deal with University
Boulevard between East Mall and
Wesbrook Mall? I came here in 2008
and the thing was closed and it's still
mostly closed now. America invented
the fucking atomic bomb in less time,
so this seems ridiculous that prettying up a road could take so long."
It is pretty sad that the main
entrance to the heart of campus has
been in a state of pseudo-construction for literally years and years. The
first experience students, alumni and
prospective students have of UBC if
they travel here via 10th Avenue are
blue construction fences and a traffic
light that makes no sense. Aside from
the 2010 Olympics, when the area
suddenly looked nice for all the tourists, most ofthe last five years have
seen that intersection resemble our
sports editor after a night of heavy
drinking.
UBC has lots of excuses for why
this road can never be in stable
condition. But the real reason is
that they've been trying to figure out what to do with that area
of campus for a decade. Campus
and Community Planning has had
plenty of ideas for the area (high-
rise condos, heavy retail space, an
underground bus loop, removingthe
Knoll), and all of these ideas were
eventually discredited bythe public.
The David Strangway building has
been the only successful development in the area.
So please, UBC, get on it already.
Most of this campus looks like a
million bucks. Let's have our central
intersection at least be worth pocket
change.
Stay skeptical about YouTube
lectures
There is not much more to say about
the Kony campaign that hasn't been
said elsewhere. But the one thing we
might add to the conversation is this:
beware ofthe influence TED Talks
has had on political activism.
Smartly packaged videos are great
for getting introduced to a subject-
but they are also easily manipulated
to give distorted views ofthe situation. The only cure for this is the
same thing that has always been
available, regardless of technology: a
lengthy and nuanced discourse by an
acknowledged expert.
Ifyou want to get involved in a political campaign, first take advantage
ofthe wealth of knowledge available
at a large university like UBC, and
talk to professors who have spent
much of their lives studyingthese
subjects. At the very least, just avoid
the temptation to start proselytizing after a few minutes of YouTube
instruction. 13
Problems with Totem
and scholarships
Letters
Re: "Chancellor's Scholar Award
replaces President's Entrance
Scholarship but offers no cash,"
March 5
I was quite upset to hear that
UBC has decided to eliminate the
President's Entrance Scholarship
(PES), a financial award recognizing
first-year students for high school
academic achievement. It is pathetic
that UBC is doing away with this
financial award and opting for a
distinction that will only appear on
a student's transcript. This change
is completely misguided. Students
depend on scholarship money to help
pay for BC's risingtuition fees and
the out-of-control livings costs in
Vancouver.
Back when I applied for university,
I realized quickly that UBC was one
ofthe stingiest universities. Queen's
and the University of Ottawa offered
to almost completely pay for my four
years based on my academic achievement. I support greater funding for
Work Study (which will be receiving
$2.5m ofthe $6.1m which went to the
PES), but this should not come at the
expense of scholarship funding.
I find it alarming that UBC is reallocating PES funding for Go Global.
Don't get me wrong, I support
travel-abroad opportunities, but this
re-allocation means thatyou could
be taking money away from students
who financially may never be able
to afford travelling abroad, but were
depending on that added financial
assistance to cover basic domestic
tuition fees.
Rather than eliminating financial
awards, this university should be
increasing the availability of scholarships and financial aid. Oh, but I forgot, this might require UBC administration to call out the BC Liberals for
years of underfunding education in
the province.
— Andy Longhurst
Geography 4
Re: "Totem hot water problems
resolved, for the most part,'"
March 5
In regards to the recent attention
paid to the new Totem Park houses,
we have seen the power that the
press can do. Housing has the reputation and image of their new building to uphold, which is why we saw
quick action and compensation for
those residents.
However, within the old buildings,
we are faced with so much more. As I
write this email in my lounge, I look
around and see outlets with exposed
wires that spark as I try and plug my
laptop in. There are also numerous
residents who have to leave their
floors and houses for the luxury of a
warm shower. Yes, the term luxury
is necessary when referringto our
water quality here in Totem.
In the end, we don't want compensation, we don't want housingto cut
us a cheque telling us it will be fixed
(though it would be nice). All we
want is to know when we go to bed,
or wake up we will have the ability to
shower and have access to the amenities that we deserve, because as of
now I fear my morning shower.
—This letter was sent to us by a person
employed by Student Housing and
Hospitality Services, and published on
the condition of anonymity.
Don't be a slacktivist
Perspectives
» Blake K.Kim
Taking down Joseph Kony is an
admirable cause, but Invisible
Children's discourse and the public
reaction to this new Bad Guy may be
more problematic than beneficial for
the cause.
For those of you who are curious,
Joseph Rao Kony is the leader of
the Lord's Resistance Army (LRA),
a guerilla group who were set on
a violent conquest to establish a
theocratic government in Uganda.
The LRA has abducted and forced
an estimated 66,000 children to
fight for them, and has also forced
the internal displacement of over 2
million people since their rebellion
began in 1986. The International
Criminal Court has labelled him
as a war criminal, but Kony has
evaded capture since his disappearance into the Democratic Republic
of Congo.
If you've seen Invisible Children's
Kony 2012 video, you wouldn't need
these numbers to convince you that
Kony is a villain. Based on these
heinous crimes, it makes sense for
us capable Westerners to do something. The combination of child
soldiers, raping of women and indiscriminate killing rouses us from our
privileged slumber. One passionate Facebook status I found on my
newsfeed summed up the public
sentiment neatly: "Kony, we're coming for you."
So, what can you do? Well, accordingto Invisible Children, you
could purchase their 'action kit,'
which gets you a bracelet, a book,
some posters and a T-shirt. That'll
be $30. Or there is another dynamic
path of action you can take to promote this cause: you can Facebook
it. Hit that share button on that video, join that Kony Movement group
and click ATTEND to the Kony 2012
Cover the City, and...relax. Invisible
Children, with the help ofyour
donations and advocacy, is goingto
figure it all out.
Or are they? The ideological
and logistical integrity of Invisible
Children Inc. has been under the
critical eye for years. The best of
this criticism can be seen at Grant
Oyston's blog, www.visiblechildren.
tumblr.com.
At this point, the best thing we can
do is to turn our focus towards the
true causes of this malaise: poverty
and corruption, which provide social
and economic atmospheres for atrocities like this to happen in the first
place. Although activism and spreading awareness is good, Facebook
slacktivism (also known as active
complacency), will never bring Kony
to justice. Sol urge you to get up
from your armchairs, and ifyou are
truly passionate about this cause, do
your research and make a dynamic,
well-informed and nuanced impact
on this movement. Maybe then, after
the dust has settled and the Facebook
bandwagon has long gone, we'll see
Kony at The Hague. 13 Scene»
Pictures and words on your university experience
03.12.2012 | 11
SEX»
How satisfying suppers
lead to sensuous sex
GEOFF LISTER/THE UBYSSEY
"The meal you eat before going home with someone anticipates the type of sex you will have."
Happy
Healthy
Homy
RaevenGeist-
Deschamps
Imagine yourself breathing in
the clean, fruity smell of a freshly
waxed car. Or experiencing the
umami of soft goat's cheese with
slightly dried sweet fig in your
mouth. Or feeling yourself sensually melt into your shots of Jack
Daniels, knowing that the throaty
burn anticipates sheet-shuffling.
And Coors Light tastes like a one
night stand and sipping wine is like
the dark handsome person you flirt
with till you purple-mouth yourself
into their pants.
Isabel Allende wrote an entire
book examining the relationship
between sex and taste, associating
the ability to appreciate food with
erotic fascination. M.K. Fisher, a
food writer, wrote a short story
about a young virgin so nervous
about losing his cherry that he ate
76 oysters and then promptly felt
too sick to meet his lover.
I spent many nights arguing with
a Frenchman about how a person's
ability to gush over food unveils
their appreciation for sins ofthe
flesh. He said that the invention
of North American fast food was
parallel to the pallid performances
of Canadians and Americans in
bed. Fast food has no soul or sense
of romance, he would say, unlike
drawing out a meal till it's appreciated in full.
McDonald's develops a culture of quickies. Another one of
my friends says the meal you eat
before going home with someone
completely foreshadows the type
of sex you have. Ifyou go out for a
fancy, sensual date with wine and
dessert—four courses and playing
footsie—you'll make love sensually, because it's first-date sex. And
if you've been with the person for
a long time, you're still going to
have amazing sex because it's a
celebration. But if you've been with
someone a longtime, your falafel
dinner means bra-on, pants-down-
to-ankles, maintenance sex.
The invention of fast
food runs parallel to the
pallid performances of
Canadians and
Americans. McDonald's
develops a culture of
quickies.
In the doldrums of this midterm
season, amongst the splashes of
raindrops and insanity of stress-
filled library hours, perhaps you'll
allow yourself to eat—silently,
slowly—grasping what texture actually feels like, rather than shoveling cold Honor Roll rice down your
gullet with a side of fatty eel. I've
heard of gurus givingtheir students
a grape and telling them to spend
20 minutes consuming it, skin and
pulpy interior. It's supposed to be
an exercise in experience, but what
I think it comes down to is that a
person who doesn't connect with
their palate cannot possibly titillate
their pelvis. 13
DO YOU WANT THE CHANCE TO EARN
this Summer?"
H0O8 AH Star Team
www.PropertyStarsJobs.co
UBCREC
JOSH CURRANflHEUBYSSEY
A cyclist competes in UBC Rec's Triathlon/Duathlon on Sunday. Most athletes enjoyed the accomplished feeling that came with
completing the arduous swim/bike/run, but victory came with some downsides. Worst part of the Tri? Chafing, tweeted one
participant.
Think this
newspaper
sucks?
Think that
it's pretty
good-but
you could
do better?
You're in luck.
Elections for the
2012/13
editorial board begin
later this month. Ten
editorial positions are
open to candidates
who will be UBC students next year. Email
elections administrator Colin Chia at
for more information.
Deadline is March 23.
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Tel: (718) 456 6446 121 Games 103.12.2012
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cimS Insider weekly
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