@prefix edm: . @prefix dcterms: . @prefix dc: . @prefix skos: . edm:dataProvider "CONTENTdm"@en ; dcterms:isReferencedBy "http://resolve.library.ubc.ca/cgi-bin/catsearch?bid=1211252"@en ; dcterms:isPartOf "University Publications"@en ; dcterms:issued "2015-09-11"@en, "2012-03-12"@en ; edm:aggregatedCHO "https://open.library.ubc.ca/collections/Ubysseynews/items/1.0128102/source.json"@en ; dc:format "application/pdf"@en ; skos:note """ Taking cake to the face SINCE 1918 March 12,20121 vol. XCIII iss. XLVI SASC COORDINATOR RESIGNS Milewski says AMS ^P^B neglected support service __t ^_w UNDERGRAD SOCIETIES GO TO THE 21 Page 2103.12.2012 What's on This week, may we suggest.. Cuts for Cancer: 10am-4pm @ SUB concourse For those of you not terribly attached to your hair and with a heart of gold, the annual Cuts for Cancer head-shavings and haircuts will be taking place in the SUB. Proceeds from haircuts will go to towards cancer research and you'll get a sassy new 'do in the process. TUE art: Circle painting: 12pm @ Global Lounge Wonder how Pollock created his paintings? Check out the Global Lounge's circle painting. If you want to create large-scale paintings with other students, grab a paintbrush and have at 'er. THU JOBS» AIESC Internships Meeting AIESEC is a club that provides students with internships at their chapters around the world. Students are encouraged to come out in order to learn about the process and the club itself. Student Appreciation Sale: 9:30-6pm @ UBC Bookstore Load up on textbooks; the Bookstore will be selling its merchandise at reduced cost. Sigma Phi Delta presents Green Slime: 7-1am @ Sigma Phi Delta house The engineering frat is hosting a St Patrick's Day party. It's pretty sweet. It'll be like one of those movies about college. Got an event you'd like to see on this page? Send your event and your best pitch to printeditor@ubyssey.ca. THEUBYSSEY Vlarch 12,2012, Volume XCIII, Issue XLV EDITORIAL Coordinating Editor Justin McElroy coordinating@u bysseyca Managing Editor, Print Jonny Wakefield orinteditor@ubysseyca Managing Editor, Web Arshy Mann webeditor@ubysseyca News Editors Kalyeena Makortoff & Micki Cowan news@u bysseyca Art Director Geoff Lister a rt@u bysseyca Culture Editor 4 Ginny Monaco culture@u bysseyca Senior Culture Writer Will Johnson 1 wjohnson@u bysseyca Sports Editor Drake Fenton sports@ubyssey.ca * Features Editor Brian Piatt featu res@u bysseyca Copy Editor Karina Palmitesta copy@ubysseyca Video Editor David Marino video@ubysseyca Senior Web Writer Andrew Bates abates@ubysseyca Graphics Assistant Indiana Joel joel@ubysseyca Webmaster Jeff Blake webmaster@u bysseyca STAFF Andrew Hood, Bryce Warnes, Catherine Guan, David Elopjor Chiang, Josh Curran, Wil McDonald, Tara Martellaro Virginie Menard,Scott MacDonald, Anna Zoria. Peter Wojnar, Tanner Bokor, Dominic Lai, Mark- Andre Gessaroli, Natalya Kautz, Kai Jacobson, R_ Reid, Colin Chia, Mine Wong.CJ Pentland, Laura Rodgers, Jeff Aschkinasi Business Manager Fernie Pereira ousiness@u bysseyca Ad Sales Ben Chen advertising@u bysseyca Accounts Sifat Hasan a ceo u nts@u bysseyca LEGAL CONTACT Business Office Room 23 Editorial Office: Room 24 Student Union Building 6138 Student Union Blvd Vancouver, BCV6T1Z1 tel: 604.822.2301 web: www.ubyssey.ca feedback@ubyssey.ca Print Advertising: 604.822.1654 Business Office 604.822.6681 advertising @ubyssey.ca The Ubyssey Is the official student newspaper ofthe University of British Columbia. It Is published every Monday and Thursday by The Jbyssey Publications Society. We are an autonomous democratically "un student organization, and all students are encouraged to participate. Editorials are chosen and written oy the Ubyssey staff. They are the expressed opinion of the staff, and do not necessarily reflect the views of The Ubyssey Publications Society or the University of British Columbia. All editorial content appearing n The Ubyssey Is the property of The Ubyssey Publications Society. Stories opinions, photographs and artwork contained herein cannot be reproduced without the expressed, written permission of The Ubyssey Publications Society. The Ubyssey is afounding member of Canadian University Press (CUP) and adheres to CUPs guiding principles. Letters to the editor must be under 300 w( : :---- iludeyour phone number, student number anc signature (notfor publication) as wel asyouryear and faculty with all submissions. ID will be checked wher submissions are dropped off at the editorial office of The Ubyssey. otherwise verification will be done by phone. The Ubyssey reserves the right to edit submissions for length and clarity. All letters must be received by 12 noon the day before Intended publication. Letters received after this point will be published In the following Issue unless there Is an urgent time restriction or other matter deemed relevant bythe Ubyssey staff. It Is agreed by all persons placing display or classified advertislnc that if the Ubyssey Publications Society fails to publish an advertisement or if an error in the ad occurs the liability of the I IPS will not be greater than the pr'^e paid for the ad. The UPS shall not be responsible for slight changes or typographical errors that do not lessen the value or the impact of the ad Our Campus One on one with the people who make UBC >3 GEOFF LISTER^HE UBYSSEY On being unboring: "I think sometimes we forget that you get to sit all day and discuss really cool things. That's fun, right?" Nick Thornton on a mission to unbore UBC Lisa Anderson Contributor "Why aren't buildings just painted violent purple? Why is everything so muted?" says Nick Thornton. It's a point that fits into Thornton's larger view of university: that maybe the things we're here to learn could be a little more fun. And that's part of why he launched UnboringLearning.com. Thornton's used his passion for the humanities—specifically Canadian and American history, English, sociology and gender studies—to create a series of videos and blog-style posts on his favourite topics for the recently launched website. So far, he's given his take on the Progressive Era, the Lower Canadian Rebellion, the history of the banana and how to pronounce the letter R—among other topics. Thornton also produces videos to go along with each topic. When you're finished watching, you can enter your email address, and the notes are sent right to your inbox. "I get how busy people are," says Thornton, who works three jobs and goes to school full-time. "But learning should be fun." Thornton is a self-proclaimed nerd: interested in everything. He tries to weigh that against the burnout he's seen in many of his peers. "I think sometimes we forget that, you get to sit all day and discuss really cool things like history or English or biology—that's fun, right?" With a host of libraries, researchers and world-class lecturers, UBC is a candy store and Thornton is the proverbial kid. Though most of his time and money goes into university, he still makes time for travel and the odd adventure. Once, he and a friend unknowingly broke into a tennis court in Japan. "There was this big high fence around it. That should've been our first clue." Security and police came running out to what was, in fact, the private court of a luxury hotel. "What?" Thornton said at the time. "We're just playingtennis!" Most nights, however, aren't spent breaking into Japanese tennis courts. Instead, Thornton can be found expandingthe new website, which lie produces along with a few friends. He also works at the Chapman Learning Commons. He wants people to enjoy the learning process. "You may hate the book or hate the poem or whatever, but ifyou shut down, you're really not goingto learn anything and it's a missed opportunity." Thornton has a few other suggestions to help make a subject more appealing, such as talking to your professors. And, he says, don't be afraid of subjects you don't really like. It's about being open to learning and using your imagination. "Buildings are too beige, people too tame and society too unimaginative. Let's change all that." 13 I Through the Valley of the Shadow: Reflections on Pain, Suffering and Life with God Know someone who should be profiled for Our Campus? Contact Jonny Wakefield printeditor@ubyssey.ca March R; I WaS Dismayed: Living with an ImwMi: Illness Pulin 30 with Edwin Scjny March 15:1 Don't Havr a Spatula: Living auj'tJi Ali'tUuJ lUtUSt and Distress Fulil'. 2} With K.iilhcVi'i fiiiliJrIL .Mijvcfj 21: Coming Home to the Costnox Ecological Crisis as an Identity Grists Pulrn 19 vsiih Bnca S»n£uin n:japm, Room wo of cl>^ lan.i Building 6000 loiM Driv* (UBC Cirtipu*) Ftm Sn.iclti mid Coftrc Provided I Presented by United Church Campus Ministry www. ubc-united 5.cj News» Editors: Kalyeena Makortoff & Micki Cowan 03.12.2012 | 3 ANIMAL RESEARCH » UBC opens new animal research facility on Vancouver campus Kalyeena Makortoff News Editor UBC opened a new animal research facility last week, but activists aren't convinced that animal interests have been taken to heart. The $40 million Centre for Comparative Medicine (CCM) will replace the Animal Care Centre (ACC), which housed and distributed the university's research animals for over 30 years. But STOP UBC Animal Research (STOP) said UBC shouldn't be spending money on a new facility like the CCM. "No amount of fresh paint and shiny cages in a brand spanking new building will improve the lives of monkeys who are given electroconvulsive shocks or who have poisons injected into their brains," said STOP director Brian Vincent. He said that the standard set by the Canadian Council for Animal Care (CCAC) "requires UBC to ultimately reduce the numbers of animals used in research. But it appears from the data UBC released lastyear that the numbers of animals used in research at UBC is increasing. "UBC should not be investing resources in building new animal research facilities. Instead, UBC should invest funds in developing non-animal alternatives." Lucie McNeill, director of UBC Public Affairs, said the facility is an improvement on the old site. "The standards of this building surpass the standards set by the CCAC," she said. "It incorporates the latest thinking on humane animal care and animal welfare in terms of their housing and the stimulating environment that they're in. They're kept in social groups...most of them have access to the outside." While the facility is smaller than the ACC, the animal housing capacity has not changed; the facility could house an estimated "several hundred" animals. The old ACC is set to be decommissioned and all animals have already been moved to the CCM. While the BC Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals has launched an investigation into one of UBC's research projects that led to the deaths of four macaque monkeys, McNeill didn't anticipate that the new facility will be under scrutiny from the animal welfare organization. "Our campaign remains deeply concerned that UBC will remain tight-lipped about the work being done in the Comparative Centre for Medicine," said Vincent, "which means the public will have no idea what researchers are doing to animals behind the facility's locked doors." 3,3 SERVICES » SASC coordinator set to resign Milewski: AMS neglected Sexual Assault Support Centre Jonny Wakefield Managing Editor, Print The coordinator ofthe AMS Sexual Assault Support Centre (SASC) has resigned, citing a lack of support for the centre from AMS staff Outgoing coordinator Sharon Milewski said the centre has received little support from permanent SUB staff since she was hired in October. SASC provides support and referral services for people who have been sexually assaulted, as well as running information campaigns "I don't feel like SASC was being acknowledged by higher-ups as an important service," said Milewski. "It's sort of like pulling teeth to get something done. I've been told that sometimes SASC gets forgotten about because of its office location," she said. SASC is located on the east corner ofthe SUB's main floor. "But just because something isn't right in your face doesn't mean it's not your responsibility." Milewski said there have been serious security concerns about the office that have not been addressed. She cites an incident from last August, where a SASC staff person was reportedly assaulted while working alone. That person quit her position shortly thereafter. A security camera for the office has yet to be installed. In an email dated February 2, former AMS President Jeremy McElroy complained to AMS staff about the lack of progress on the security cameras. "Four months ago the [Business and Facilities] Committee and Council approved the installation of security cameras News briefs UBC invents "robo-fur" able to detect sensation UBC scientists have created a robo- bunny able to detect its user's emotions. The device calms users down or cheers them up by leading them through several deep-breathing exercises. Developed by graduate student Anna Flag, the gadget is able to distinguish between a pet. a scratch, a breath and up to 30 other gestures. "The one thing a robot can do that's different from an animal is truly be in the service of its owner and do what the owner needs it to do." said Karon MacLean. a UBC computer science professor and leader of the lab where the device is being developed. ERIC INASI^HE UBYSSEY The Sexual Assault Support Centre's location made it easy for AMS senior staff to forget it, said resigning coordinator Sharon Milewski and a panic button in the SASC area following an incident involving a distressed client in the office," he wrote. "Much to my concern there are still no cameras and no panic button in the space. "This has taken far too long and now we have tangible concerns in addition to our previous safety concerns." SASC was also without a supervisor, as the position went unfilled throughout Milewski's term. "[There was] no one to advocate for me and SASC to upper management," she said. "I was told when I was hired in October that person should be in any day now." Now that she's stepping down, Milewski hopes the office won't sit BC SPC A to investigate UBC animal research project The BC Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (SPCA) has launched an investigation into UBC animal research practices after numerous complaints from local animal rights group STOP UBC Anima Research. The complaints stemmed from reports last week that four macague monkeys had been killed after being injected with neurotoxins. The SPCA is also investigating whether there is adeguate oversight within the UBC Animal Care Committee. As part of the examination, an outside expert will conduct a thorough analysis of the testing facility and their practices. empty, as it did earlier this school year when the AMS failed to fill the vacancy left by the previous SASC coordinator. AMS President Matt Parson said he hopes to address SASC's communication concerns. He also said the AMS is working to hire a director of student services— the position senior to the SASC coordinator—but has encountered difficulties due to the specialized nature of the job. "Our hope is that the added level of support that this position will be able to bring will help take off some ofthe burden and some of the stress ofthe SASC manager," he said. The AMS said they plan to hire UBC-O student union under new leadership For the first time in UBC Okanagan's history, its student union has a new slate in power. In this year's student election, the ACTION slate defeated the incumbent Students 4 Students (S4S) slate in every race, according to The Phoenix. S4S has won every UBC-O election since the campus opened in 2005. Slates, banned in AMS elections, are permitted at UBC-O. Election issues this year addressed transparency, student services and the resources spent on federal and provincial lobbying campaigns. Unofficial results revealed a 24 per cent voter turnout. a manager before Milewski leaves on April 10. Parson said there will be no disruption of service, and if a candidate cannot be found, the AMS will look to establish a contract with a third-party victim services worker. But Milewski said this was not the timeframe she was initially given. "I was told this week that my position wasn't goingto get hired until May or June," she said. "Then I said, 'Okay, I guess I'll go talk to the newspaper.' "When I implied a few days ago that I was potentially going to talk to The Ubyssey, that's when ten minutes later the president shows up at my office." ^ CUS to re-run student election Elections for the Commerce Undergraduate Society (CUS)'s AMS Council representative will be re-run. as more people voted to reject both candidates than to elect either of them. Landon Goold received 322 votes and Rachael Reddy received 193 votes. But 339 people selected "No Vote." forcing a by-election. Four candidates, including Goold. will run a second time. "We hope that people will be just as engaged as the previous election." said CUS elections officer Maria Sun. "People are aware of it. and that's always a good sign." The election's other races-including Senate, ombudsperson and a referendum-ran normally, with Jackie Leung elected CUS president. 13 TECHNOLOGY» AMS app aims to help you beat the lunchtimerush YARA DEJONGATHE UBYSSEY Maiyatree Dhaka Contributor The AMS is developing an app that will make lunch lines shorter, allowing students to pre-order meals from AMS food outlets in the SUB. "We are [currently] restricted now on how fast an order is processed and by the amount of point of sale units at each outlet," said Uli Laue, director of operations ofthe AMS. "With an online ordering app, we transform the user's smartphone into an extension of our outlet, increasing capacities." Laue wasn't able to speculate on the app's ordering capacity, but said it will depend on how many orders are placed to each outlet. "The volumes we can handle will greatly depend on when orders are placed and what items are chosen. If users pre-order hours before the pick-up time, we will be able to deploy resources to meet that demand easier than a few minutes before the pick-up time is requested," Laue said. Robbie Bousadda, manager of Pie R Squared, said they already have pretty fast service, but some aspects could be streamlined. "The app would work perfectly for whole pizzas, but not so well for individual slices. Instead of phoning or sending an email or coming in person, it would make it much easier for them and us," said Bousadda. Students with smartphones were excited bythe idea. "When I'm in class, I'd definitely use it. I go to the SUB a lot because I have lunch breaks at that time but usually it's super busy, so having an app would help," said third-year Arts student Kailee Kotilla. "You could be in class and order something and come and pick it up. It would make things much more efficient," said Abigail Shakespeare, also a third-year Arts student. The app is expected to be available in September free of charge. 13 4 I NeWS 03.12.2012 ACTIVISM » UBC group opposes Enbridge pipeline UBCC 350 was inspired by 350.org, a global movement aimed at reducing carbon emissions worldwide Evan Brow Contributor The 1000 kilometres between Vancouver and Kitimat, BC isn't stopping UBC students and faculty from speaking out against the Enbridge Northern Gateway Pipeline. UBC Community 350 (UBCC350) was formed in November, inspired by350.org, a global movement to reduce carbon emissions to 350 parts per million. The 35-member group is taking issue with carbon exports in British Columbia. The group wants to inform the UBC populace about the Enbridge pipeline, a controversial proposal currently going through the federal government's National Energy Board. The project proposes a pipeline between Edmonton and Kitimat to transport over 525,000 barrels of oil per day. "We think the province needs to take more responsibility for those exports. We'd like the province to start by saying no to the Northern Gateway Pipeline," wrote George Hoberg, a UBC Forestry professor, in an email. UBCC350 held a talk about the pipeline last Thursday, where presenters said that expanding emissions without any sort of policy change is inexcusable. Featured speaker and UBC political science professor Kathryn Harrison said that while the BC government has adopted aggressive greenhouse gas reduction targets, including the carbon tax, they aren't looking at the global impact of their policies. "We're exporting all kinds of fossil fuels from British Columbia that then have emissions elsewhere," said Harrison. "Ifyou take into account the complete footprint, emissions that occur within British Columbia as well as the carbon that we're exporting, the overall footprint is three times bigger than if we just look at our domestic emissions." Gordon Katie, a fourth-year philosophy and political science student, is a member of UBCC350 and also presented at the event. "It's really easy to take action," said Katie. "All you have to do is open your eyes and see that there are a bunch of other passionate and engaged individuals who care about these issues, and you just need to make an effort to reach out to them and say, 'Hey, we share common values. Let's try and find a way to actually effect some change.'" Hoberg said that UBCC350's major event for the year—called Storm the Riding—will be held March 31. "We are canvassing the Vancouver-Point Grey riding to inform voters about the carbon exports problem and get signatures on a petition to ask Premier Clark to say no to the Northern Gateway Pipeline," he said. "Next fall we'll be taking additional political action." ^ STUDENT POLITICS » AMS looks to give more Council members a vote Laura Rodgers StaffWriter Students at the Vancouver School of Theology (VST) pay hundreds of dollars in AMS fees, but that doesn't mean they get a vote. Emily Jarrett, an AMS representative for VST who regularly attends Council meetings, is one of those students. The three affiliated theological colleges-VST, St Mark's and Regent College—are not currently entitled to voting seats on AMS Council. Jarrett feels that without a vote, the VST doesn't have a real say in what the AMS does. "We pay student fees, we are members ofthe student body as far as AMS services are concerned," said Jarrett. "Because we are part of it, we feel we should have representation." But the AMS is looking into changing that in the near future. An informal poll of full-time VST students—which was taken at their student society meeting in the fall- indicated there would be strong support for the change, according to Jarrett. Adding new representatives to Council would require an amendment to the AMS's bylaws. Such a change requires a referendum to be called, and have at least 8 per cent of students who are AMS members vote for the change, and no more than 25 per cent of votes be against the change. The AMS's Legislative Procedures Committee (LPC) is considering putting such an amendment on the ballot when students vote to renew the U-Pass program in the fall. Kyle Warwick, former LPC chair and current AMS VP External, said that it's unfair to take student dollars and not give them an equal voice. "LPC was pretty clear that there isn't an ethically sound reason to not give them voting seats," he said. Students at VST aren't the only ones concerned about their lack of AMS representation. Warwick said that Diploma in Accounting program (DAP) students, who are part ofthe Sauder School of Business but don't belong to the Commerce Undergraduate Society, are also seeking a voting Council seat. One difficulty in getting representation for DAP students is that the program doesn't have a student organization with mandatory membership, which would result in difficulties in holding a election for all eligible students. "There's a lot of things, procedurally, [that are] not clear on how to do that," said Warwick. Newly-elected LPC chair Hans Seidemann remains unsure of whether he will push for the new seats, however. "They kind of are arm's-length organizations, so if they want to become voting members I would think that we'd want to make sure that everything was consistent among them and existing AMS voting members," said Seidemann, an EUS member. "I think what's maybe more important is that students from those schools, if they are feeling disenfranchised, we find avenues for them to get involved in the business ofthe AMS. "The best way to do that may not be through modifying bylaws and creating voting member status, but rather to create and enforce mechanisms whereby they're able to give feedback and have their concerns heard and things like that." But Jarrett wants to make sure that VST is able to influence AMS decisions about concerns specific to VST students, and said she would use a voting seat to push for measures such as increasing psychiatric care benefits for dependents. "A lot of our students are mature. A lot of them have families, spouses, children," she said. ^B St. Patrick's! at the point! M»y&Wday|M„ch,6&,7 Fish & Chips with Mushy Peas $15 Spring Creek Beef& Guinness Pie with Chips $16 Irish Stew - Local Spring Lamb with Potatoes & Spring Vegetables $16 Whiskey Cake & Baileys Cream $6 www.food.ubc.ca PH: 604-822-9503 Building#4 2205 Lower Mall n am - io pm M, T, W, Sun n am -11 pm Th, F, Sat person to enter The Ubyssey office and hug Geoff Lister wins 100 free copies of the paper. Great for swatting flies! COME BY THE WBFSSEFOFFICE SUB 24, FOLLOW THE SIGNS » LAaj^Il |r ^ *j ~~ w' ill c ^^ * 6 I NeWS 03.122012 ANOTEFROMTHE EDITORS From career fairs to beer gardens, academic workshops to graduation blowouts, the undergraduate societies of UBC do all sorts of things for students. Three ofthe largest societies-the Arts Undergraduate Society (AUS), Science Undergraduate Society (SUS) and Kinesiology Undergraduate Society (KUS)-all have hotly contested presidential races this year. The undergraduate societies are charged with large sums ofyour student fees, and play a unigue role in defining student life at UBC. The Ubyssey has given candidates a chance to explain what sets them apart in their own words, asking each of them to respond this guestion: "What makes you different from the other candidates in your race, and why should students vote for you?" The Engineering Undergraduate Society was originally going to be covered here as well, but with one candidate withdrawing from the race early lan Campbell now runs unopposed. The Land and Food Systems Undergraduate Society also has a single-candidate presidential election, with Whitney Hussain running unopposed. Voting is running online this week at the respective undergraduate society websites. -LAURA RODGERS + WILL McDONALD GUEST EDITORS KUS CANDIDATES AlexRebchuk My vast involvements within the Faculty of Kinesiology differentiate me from my opponent in the KUS presidential race. In my previous three years at UBC, I have been involved in many positions within the KUS. Specifically, this past year I was the Health Science Stream representative, I worked with the tutoring program and was involved in coordinating numerous KUS social events. One of my biggest leadership responsibilities involves being the KIN frosh coordinator. In addition, I have represented the Faculty of Kinesiology at the KIN Games, have been on numerous KIN rec teams (Longboat champs!) and been involved with UBC orientations. Essentially, what sets me apart from my opponent is that I eat, sleep and breathe KIN! I believe that the promises I have made in my platform address issues important to Kinesiology students. As president, I would work to develop a better student space for Kinesiology students. Currently, our student space consists of a few tables, chairs, old computers and textbooks at Osbourne Gym and is shared with labs and other groups. As president, I would help provide Kinesiology students with a dedicated student space that fits our social and academic needs. As well, I want to establish a KIN week, featuring a variety of events in which Kinesiology students can show the rest of UBC that we are the smartest, most fun and best-looking faculty on campus! Lastly, I am never afraid to speak up. As president I would be an outspoken voice for the opinions of Kinesiology students to the faculty, staff, community and AMS. My previous leadership roles within the faculty make me the ideal person to be KUS president. I hope that KIN students give me the opportunity to represent them and continue to expand and improve our faculty and the KUS! Alyssa Reyes If I had to sum myself up in three words they would be "approachable," "genuine" and "determined." There are so many things I would love to do for the KUS. I want to continue to develop the projects created this year such as Kin-TV and Relay for Life, similar to what I was able to help do with our Kin Games Team as a co-coordinator. I have always been a goal-setter, driven for change. I am a big believer in making small steps towards large goals; utilizing the opportunities board, organizing an open forum and catering events to first-years and transfer students to get involved are all stepping stones to drive for student engagement. I am an advocate for student involvement; I want the KUS to be well-represented by involving a variety of students in Kin and ensuring I am available and relatable to Kin students. By staying involved in all aspects of Kin life and listeningto as many voices as possible, I can be that person. If elected, with the support ofthe Kin student body, I will devote all my energy towards continuingthe long-standingtradition of being the loudest and proudest on campus and develop ways to engage the entire faculty. KIN UNDERGRADUATE SOCIETY The two KUS presidential candidates, Alex Rebchuk and Alyssa Reyes, are both third-year students specializing in kinesiology and health science. Aside from sharing a major and friendship, the two have another thing in common—neither has held an executive position before. "I think that's goingto be a weakness ofthe KUS next year...that no one [running] has any experience in an executive role on the KUS," said Rebchuk. However, both candidates are still optimistic about the upcoming year. And Rebchuk thinks that a less-experienced executive team will promote a new style of thinking. "I think that's goingto give us afresh perspective. We get to run where we want to run," he said. "We won't have anyone from previous years holding us back, saying, 'This has SCIENCE UNDERGRADUATE SOCIETY Regardless of which new president they choose, Science students can continue to expect a buttoned-up, professional development-focused Science Undergraduate Society (SUS) next year. Both SUS presidential candidates, Mona Maleki and Joaquin Acevedo, hope to ensure that the SUS can help students succeed in their careers in the pressures of today's job market. "One ofthe main platform points is a professional development and career development focus. What it would entail is workingwith Career Services and Student Development as well as the Faculty of Science," said Acevedo. A second-year cognitive systems student, Acevedo has served on the SUS first-year committee and is this year's SUS director of finance. Maleki, who is a third-year biology student, was a first-year SUS representative and has served as this year's VP internal. She said she's worked to increase SUS's communication with Student Development this year, includingthe faculty-focused groups SCI Team and Science Peer Academic Coaches. "I'd say definitely SUS has changed a lot, from a very social organization to a lot more professional development," said Acevedo, describing what he had seen at a SUS alumni reunion event. A survey of Science students carried out bythe SUS last fall shows the same thing. Both Maleki and Acevedo noted that the survey indicated students were interested in the SUS providing more career-focused resources. Acevedo also wants to work with the AMS to create opportunities for extern- ships, or extended job-site tours, while Maleki stressed the importance of creating a science career fair. Both also claimed that one ofthe SUS's main weaknesses was ineffective communication with students at large. "One ofthe things that would be different would definitely be a little more engagement with the students. In the past, the president [has been] very hands-off," said Acevedo. Maleki called Kiran Mahal's performance as this year's president "phenomenal," but also stated, "We're still not as approachable as we should be. Students don't feel at ease comingto us." Acevedo criticized the Faculty of Science's academic advising structure and wants to improve it, saying that advising should be more one-on-one. "Right now it's very much departmental, and students don't really get that support until they're in their programs in third year," he added. With such similar focuses, what sets the two candidates apart? Maleki stressed the importance of feedback and communication. She worries that club reps, who no longer sit on SUS Council as of this year, may need more opportunities to work together. Acevedo, however, stated that he would make the group "more of a lobbying organization, so [the SUS] can advocate for students as far as academics go." Both candidates have similar experience within SUS, and similar priorities; their posters even feature similarly-composed approachable business-casual photos. However votingturns out, it doesn't take a rocket scientist—or a biologist, or a cognitive systems major—to know what SUS will be focusing on next year. 13 —Laura Rodgers been done in the past, so it should be done in the future.'" Reyes plans to bridge the experience gap by focusing on communication with students, using avenues such as Facebook and Twitter. "[I'm] really hoping to just be a relatable and approachable person on the KUS exec, I think that would make a huge difference. Then people feel able to come to you with ideas and concerns." If elected, each candidate has different ambitions for the position. Reyes hopes to shape the social atmosphere ofthe School of Kinesiology. "I think a whole bunch of it is just getting everybody involved, and making it more of a family." She explained that the KUS had traditionally succeeded as a social organization. "The KUS makes a point of making it more than just going to class and studying and being involved in just academics. I think we're really good at making a well-rounded experience." Rebchuk sees the presidency as a chance to establish a few attainable goals. "It's being in that position where you can force things to go through," he added. He described hopes for creating a departmental "Kin Week" similar to other faculty weeks. He also plans to update the Kinesiology student space. Despite differences in their goals, the two candidates say the presidential race has not affected their friendship. "When we see each other in class, we're laughing the last few days," said Rebchuk. "We have this friendship where we've both been involved in the Kin events together and we're both representing our school together." Both Rebchuk and Reyes plan to represent UBC in late March at the 11th annual Canadian Kinesiology Games in Ottawa. Reyes isn't letting campaigning get in the way of their friendship either. "It's actually been really nice," she said. "We're both competitive people, but at the same time it's a very friendly competition and it's kind of a nice thing to have. It's a good environment to be in." 13 —Natalya Kautz 03.i2.20i2 News SUS CANDIDATES Mona Maleki I My name is Mona and I am running to be your next SUS president. I am a third-year biology student and my motivation to run for this position comes from my passion for SUS complemented bythe experiences I have acquired over the last few years. My position ofVP Internal this past year in SUS is what truly sets me apart and demonstrates my capability in following through with my platform. This year, I took on the projects of creating an effective council orientation, running a more efficient council retreat, and I co-chaired both academic as well as first-year committee. I was able to gain knowledge and feedback in both first-year transition processes as well as in the different science programs/departments. The relationship I established with student development and my communication with the dean's office strengthens the basis from which I draw my confidence in running for this role. Apart from having the inside knowledge and experience which would support me in the running of this undergraduate society, I am also an approachable person especially when it comes to SUS. I have always considered it a top priority to engage students whether through my presentations or one-on-one conversations. At times, I have even taken the drastic step of drawing on a blue moustache to show that at the end ofthe day we are all just students, drawing from each others' experiences and trying to make sense of our undergraduate experience. Students should vote because their voice is at the foundations of this undergraduate society and you should vote for me because I can oversee and create an undergraduate society, which, like an enzyme, will depend on your voices as substrates to catalyze the many possible reactions. Please visit my website www.wix. com/monamaleki/prez. AUS CANDIDATES Joaquin Acevedo I'm Joaquin Acevedo—currently second-year COGS student— and I'm running to be your next SUS president. I believe that I have the skills, experience and passion to be your SUS president. The society does fantastic work for Science students that benefit us both socially and academically. I want to be able to lead the SUS executive team to create a better, more relevant SUS. I will focus on expanding our services and making them more accessible. Additionally, I want to work with the faculty and other offices around campus to provide students professional and career development opportunities. All of this, and of course continuation from previous years. Please visit my website www.joaquinforsus.com for more details and remember to vote Joaquin for SUS president! ARTSUNDERGRADUATE SOCIETY Jeff Boudreau, Jenny Chen and Harsev Oshan are competing to be president of the AUS and its 12,000 students. The president is in charge of providing services and social events to students through the AUS. One ofthe main issues discussed by the candidates is the improvement ofthe Meekison Arts Student Space (MASS). All three presidential hopefuls agree that the current student space leaves something to be desired. Chen, a third-year art history and visual arts student, said one of her main platform points is to renovate MASS, but Boudreau thinks Arts students need an entirely new building. "Arts students need their own space...a whole building dedicated to Arts students," said Boudreau, a third- year archaeology and history student. Oshan, a second-year political science student, plans to renovate MASS, as well as push for additional student space elsewhere in Buchanan. Student involvement is another issue candidates look to address. Boudreau believes that rebranding the AUS will make students more engaged, but Oshan thought club activity was the key. "We're focusing too much on branding the AUS and we're not focusing on the quality of participation from the clubs," said Oshan. Oshan said he plans to design an Arts day planner containing profiles of each club, and also to institute an inter-club competition. "Increasing competition will make the clubs more active. And when students see that the clubs are more active, students will want to get involved [with the AUS]," said Oshan. Chen feels one of AUS's most important aspects is the services it provides. She also stated that students are often apprehensive about documenting complaints or issues with the AUS and believes an online survey would allow students' voices to be heard. As far as event planning, Chen said she would focus on creating a "better and bigger" Arts week by surveying students to find out what events they would like to see. Boudreau, on the other hand, would like to put on weekly events in MASS for Arts students. "I would like to have a beer garden every second Friday ofthe month for the year. And the odd Fridays, have it be non-alcoholic events," said Boudreau. "Every Friday, every Arts student [should] know they can come to MASS for something." The candidates have also been addressing internal issues within the AUS. Oshan said that committees should be restructured and that methods for monetary reimbursement need to be improved. "This year, we've had some problems with the financial processes, where payments have been delayed...it discourages coordinators and counsellors from using their own money. Also, the spirit goes down," said Oshan. Accordingto Boudreau, the position of general officer, who has no defined responsibilities but can sit on various committees, needs to be reconsidered. "There's something not right about the position itself if no one's runningfor it," said Boudreau. Chen said the biggest problem ofthe AUS is the way it relates to its students. "I feel that we should expand our list of services, our list of events," she said. "We have about 12,000 students and I feel like we are not reaching enough." Voting runs online from March 12 at 8am to March 16 at Spm. 13 -Will McDonald Jeff Boudreau Hello fellow Arts students, For those who know me, you know I'm a planner, organizer, and that I'm ambitious with my goals. For those who don't yet know me; I am co-president ofthe Classical, Near Eastern, and Religious Studies Students Association, I'm a squad leader for the upcoming Imagine Day, I was a panel moderator at this year's Arts Career Expo, I'm involved with Arts tri-mentoring, and I was host and organizer of Gods and Goddesses ofthe Ancient World 2012 Beer Garden. Now, ifyou will indulge me, I'll share with you my plans for the AUS. I like to think big and I see my platform as a common vision for many Arts students. I will change the face ofthe AUS and I will do this by not just holding more events at MASS, but instead having regular events every Friday with beer gardens held every second week. Furthermore, I don't want to just renovate MASS or glass in the underpass of Buchanan B for more student space; I want all Arts students coming together to leave a legacy in the form of a new Arts students' building. Lastly, the role of general officer needs redefining and an increase to the numbers for this position. This gives students more opportunity to have their voices heard and their visions put forward to the AUS council. These three steps lead to rebranding the AUS so that more students will feel there are more events for them, that they are leaving a legacy for future Arts students, and that they are being better represented bythe AUS. Ifyou have any questions about these or other issues I would love to hear from you by email at jeff. boudreau@hotmail.com, or via Twitter @JeffBoudreaul. Jenny Chen My involvement with the AUS has been three years through joining first-year committee, functioning as a social coordinator and AUS vice-president student life respectively. As VP Student Life, I have been on the executive team and interacting with the Arts council and faculty, which helped me gain a much better understanding ofthe AUS mechanism and its procedures. Before taking up the position ofVP Student Life, I believed that the core of an organization was best represented through its social events. While this idea still holds some merit, my experience this year has taught me that a successful organization must be well-rounded. We must maximize Arts student benefits by addressing all aspects ofthe student experience, not just the social ones. With a firm grasp on institutional knowledge and innovative ideas for the future, I have a clear vision for what is required of AUS to thrive as an organization. My three years AUS experience has allowed me to gain valuable knowledge regarding the diverse needs of clubs, volunteers, Council members as well as students at large. Following this year's success, I believe AUS should aim higher and think bigger. If elected as president, I will ensure to achieve a balance among all aspects of our accomplishments. To learn more about my platform or past experiences, please visit my website: www.votejenny.ca. Harsev Oshan What makes me different from my opponents is my vision for the society. I want us to work '^gr\\ I towards seeing higher levels of engagement from ifl |, Events: 100m. 200m breaststroke Achievements: Gold medal at the 2010 Youth Olympics in the 100m breaststroke Annamay Pierse Swam for the T-Birds from 2005-2009 Events: 100m. 200m breasts Achievements: Set a world r< irtha McCabe Trains at UBC, completed her CIS eligibility this year Events: 100m. 200m breaststroke Achievements: Won bronze in the 200m breaststroke at the 2011 World Swimming Championships Savannah King Current UBC Thunderbird Events: 400m. 800m freestyle Achievements: Set the Canadian ecord in the short-course 400m reestyle. CIS s' 03.122012 Sports 19 SWIMMING » Olympic profile: King of the pool Will Johnson Senior Culture Writer The best swimmers often look like they're not even trying. Many world-class competitors have a languid quality to their strokes, an effortless rhythm that gives spectators little evidence ofthe incredible power being generated below the surface. And no one knows this better than UBC swimmer Savannah King, an Olympic long-distance freestyler. King broke the Canadian record for the short-course 400-metre freestyle last month with a time of 4:02.76 at the CIS championships in Montreal. And she did it by maintaining her deceptively powerful technique throughout the race, while her competitors slowly lost their momentum. "I'm known for coming back fast in the back end," King said. "I'm not as fast as the other girls going out, but they know I can come back basically the same speed as I went out. They know I can come home in a really fast 50." King almost even-split the race, completing the first 100 metres in 2:00.9 and then returning in 2:01.8. She got a glimpse ofthe clock while she was swimming, which let her know she was on track to beat the record held by retired BC swimmer Brittany Reimer. She eventually finished six seconds ahead of her closest competitor. "I finished the first 100 [metres] in 58 seconds, and when I saw that I was like, 'Well, I got this,'" she said. Earlier that day, in a move reminiscent of Babe Ruth pointing to the horizon, King had announced her intention to best the Canadian record on Facebook. I finished the first 100 [metres] in 58 seconds and when I saw that I was like, Well, I got this.' Savannah King On setting the Canadian record in 400-metre freestyle "I posted 'The Canadian record is 4:03.61. Watch the clock on my 400/ so I kind of told everyone I was goingto do it," she said. "Afterwards someone commented, and they were like, 'You called the corner pocket, and then nailed it.'" King considers herself an endurance swimmer, and she currently holds the Canadian short-course record for the 400m, 800m and 1500m freestyle. But she's had the most success with the 400m race, which she describes as a hybrid of both sprint and endurance work. "In the 800m, you're going fast, but it's a different type of fast. You have to have as much power with as little effort as possible," she said. "The 400m, though, is about speed. My coach and I have been working on a lot of stroke rate stuff, literally getting the arms moving quicker." Training consumes most of King's life, taking up approximately 24 hours a week, but she also finds time to take classes, workingtowards a degree in kinesiology. "All athletes go through it. You get pretty good at time management, at balancing everything," she said. Luckily, she describes her teammates as a second family, and said she receives top-notch coaching from both Tom Johnson and Steve Price. She credits Johnson for helping her through a short lull a few years ago, after her initial international success. "Lots of swimmers hit that age, and they kind of plateau. Tom helped me through that period," she said. King first qualified for the Olympics at the age of 15, and ayear later she was competing in the 400m freestyle in Beijing. Finishing with the 19th fastest time out of 42 competitors in the qualifying heats, she said the experience was transformative. She already has the Olympic rings tattooed on her leg, and a gold Olympic ring as a souvenir from her first stint. This time, she hopes to qualify in more than one event. And her recent successes in Montreal have helped steel her resolve for the coming months, when she'll have to qualify for her spot on the Olympic team. "I consider it a stepping stone," she said. "And I'm ready for the next step." 13 JOSH CURRAN/THE UBYSSEY Savannah King represented Canada at the 2008 Beijing Olympics. She hopes to represent her country once more in London instant cash back & free SPC Card* we make taxes painle$$ H&R BLOCK8 Follow us on Twitter and Facebook hrblock.ca | 800-HRBLOCK (472-5625) © 2012 H&R Block Canada, Inc. *$2Q.95 valid for regular student tax preparation only. Cash Back service included. To qualify for student pricing, student must present either (i) a T2202a documenting 4 or more months of full-time attendance at a college or university during 2011 or (ii) a valid high school identification card. Expires July 31, 2012. Valid only at participating H&R Block locations in Canada, SPC Card offers valid from 08/01/11 to 07/31/12 at participating locations in Canada only. For Cardholder only. Offers may vary, restrictions may apply. Usage may be restricted when used in conjunction with any other offer or retailer loyalty card discounts. Cannot be used towards the purchase of gift cards or certificates. Opinion » B Editor- Rrian Piatt 03.122012 | IQ NDIANAJOEL^HE UBYSSEY The Last Word Parting shots and snap judgments on today's issues SASC may not be able to survive as a student-run operation Not only have two Sexual Assault Support Centre (SASC) coordinators resigned in the past seven months, but now the outgoing coordinator says that the centre was "[not] being acknowledged by higher-ups as an important service." This is cause for serious examination of why it's so difficult to keep SASC staffed. The truth is that it will always be difficult for a student union to find qualified personnel to run the centre. Give the nature of SASC, you cannot make do with half-measures; you either need to give the centre full resources, or admit that you are unable to run it. We have longbeen skeptical of the idea that the AMS will be able to properly run the SASC on its own, and recent events have justified this skepticism. The AMS should consider a partnership with the university on sexual assualt support services to ensure that the services are easily accessible and well-advertised. In the end, while it would be nice to keep SASC as a entirely student- run service, it's more important that SASC actually be able to perform the services it promises. The annoying sideshow of the Genocide Awareness Project On Thursday, the Genocide Awareness Project (GAP) set up their graphic display of aborted fetuses outside the SUB in order to advance their pro-life views. A small but vocal group of protesters expressed their outrage at the display, further incited by the fact that GAP showed up on International Women's Day. In general, it is good for universities to have this sort of activism. Nobody's mind is likely to be changed bythe heated exchange of views, but everyone should still have the right to make their arguments. Whether graphic photos such as GAP's should be displayed outdoors in a prominent location on campus is debatable. But we try to avoid that debate, because it allows GAP to play the victim and make this an argument about free speech. In other words, it becomes a total sideshow to the much more important debate about the fact that Canada, alone among Western countries, has absolutely no legislation around abortion procedures. That's an argument that reasonable and intelligent people can and should have with each other, regardless of their position on abortion. Instead, GAP goads us into distracting and pointless shout-fests, and for that reason more than any other, their presence on campus is unwelcome—which is not the same as saying they don't have the right to be here. Getting to know our campus neighbours With UBC having weighed in to approve the results of January's Board and Senate elections, the AMS has finally learned the voting privileges ofthe various affiliated colleges of UBC. You know the ones, right? Regent College, St. Mark's, Vancouver School of Theology, Carey Theological College? Do you know any students from there? Or what they do? Or how they contribute to our campus community? Ifyou don't understand what these things are or how they relate to UBC, you aren't alone. Even though they're on our campus, seemingly everyyear there's confusion and consternation within the AMS over whether some of these students deserve voting/ UPass/medical privileges. What this demonstrates is a fundamental lack of communication to students about who comprises this campus. UBC has a responsibility to better inform people about its affiliated groups on campus—if only so their contributions can be better recognized. An embarrassing entrance to the heart of campus We get a lot of amusing emails, but one of our favourites came last month. It read: "What's the deal with University Boulevard between East Mall and Wesbrook Mall? I came here in 2008 and the thing was closed and it's still mostly closed now. America invented the fucking atomic bomb in less time, so this seems ridiculous that prettying up a road could take so long." It is pretty sad that the main entrance to the heart of campus has been in a state of pseudo-construction for literally years and years. The first experience students, alumni and prospective students have of UBC if they travel here via 10th Avenue are blue construction fences and a traffic light that makes no sense. Aside from the 2010 Olympics, when the area suddenly looked nice for all the tourists, most ofthe last five years have seen that intersection resemble our sports editor after a night of heavy drinking. UBC has lots of excuses for why this road can never be in stable condition. But the real reason is that they've been trying to figure out what to do with that area of campus for a decade. Campus and Community Planning has had plenty of ideas for the area (high- rise condos, heavy retail space, an underground bus loop, removingthe Knoll), and all of these ideas were eventually discredited bythe public. The David Strangway building has been the only successful development in the area. So please, UBC, get on it already. Most of this campus looks like a million bucks. Let's have our central intersection at least be worth pocket change. Stay skeptical about YouTube lectures There is not much more to say about the Kony campaign that hasn't been said elsewhere. But the one thing we might add to the conversation is this: beware ofthe influence TED Talks has had on political activism. Smartly packaged videos are great for getting introduced to a subject- but they are also easily manipulated to give distorted views ofthe situation. The only cure for this is the same thing that has always been available, regardless of technology: a lengthy and nuanced discourse by an acknowledged expert. Ifyou want to get involved in a political campaign, first take advantage ofthe wealth of knowledge available at a large university like UBC, and talk to professors who have spent much of their lives studyingthese subjects. At the very least, just avoid the temptation to start proselytizing after a few minutes of YouTube instruction. 13 Problems with Totem and scholarships Letters Re: "Chancellor's Scholar Award replaces President's Entrance Scholarship but offers no cash," March 5 I was quite upset to hear that UBC has decided to eliminate the President's Entrance Scholarship (PES), a financial award recognizing first-year students for high school academic achievement. It is pathetic that UBC is doing away with this financial award and opting for a distinction that will only appear on a student's transcript. This change is completely misguided. Students depend on scholarship money to help pay for BC's risingtuition fees and the out-of-control livings costs in Vancouver. Back when I applied for university, I realized quickly that UBC was one ofthe stingiest universities. Queen's and the University of Ottawa offered to almost completely pay for my four years based on my academic achievement. I support greater funding for Work Study (which will be receiving $2.5m ofthe $6.1m which went to the PES), but this should not come at the expense of scholarship funding. I find it alarming that UBC is reallocating PES funding for Go Global. Don't get me wrong, I support travel-abroad opportunities, but this re-allocation means thatyou could be taking money away from students who financially may never be able to afford travelling abroad, but were depending on that added financial assistance to cover basic domestic tuition fees. Rather than eliminating financial awards, this university should be increasing the availability of scholarships and financial aid. Oh, but I forgot, this might require UBC administration to call out the BC Liberals for years of underfunding education in the province. — Andy Longhurst Geography 4 Re: "Totem hot water problems resolved, for the most part,'" March 5 In regards to the recent attention paid to the new Totem Park houses, we have seen the power that the press can do. Housing has the reputation and image of their new building to uphold, which is why we saw quick action and compensation for those residents. However, within the old buildings, we are faced with so much more. As I write this email in my lounge, I look around and see outlets with exposed wires that spark as I try and plug my laptop in. There are also numerous residents who have to leave their floors and houses for the luxury of a warm shower. Yes, the term luxury is necessary when referringto our water quality here in Totem. In the end, we don't want compensation, we don't want housingto cut us a cheque telling us it will be fixed (though it would be nice). All we want is to know when we go to bed, or wake up we will have the ability to shower and have access to the amenities that we deserve, because as of now I fear my morning shower. —This letter was sent to us by a person employed by Student Housing and Hospitality Services, and published on the condition of anonymity. Don't be a slacktivist Perspectives » Blake K.Kim Taking down Joseph Kony is an admirable cause, but Invisible Children's discourse and the public reaction to this new Bad Guy may be more problematic than beneficial for the cause. For those of you who are curious, Joseph Rao Kony is the leader of the Lord's Resistance Army (LRA), a guerilla group who were set on a violent conquest to establish a theocratic government in Uganda. The LRA has abducted and forced an estimated 66,000 children to fight for them, and has also forced the internal displacement of over 2 million people since their rebellion began in 1986. The International Criminal Court has labelled him as a war criminal, but Kony has evaded capture since his disappearance into the Democratic Republic of Congo. If you've seen Invisible Children's Kony 2012 video, you wouldn't need these numbers to convince you that Kony is a villain. Based on these heinous crimes, it makes sense for us capable Westerners to do something. The combination of child soldiers, raping of women and indiscriminate killing rouses us from our privileged slumber. One passionate Facebook status I found on my newsfeed summed up the public sentiment neatly: "Kony, we're coming for you." So, what can you do? Well, accordingto Invisible Children, you could purchase their 'action kit,' which gets you a bracelet, a book, some posters and a T-shirt. That'll be $30. Or there is another dynamic path of action you can take to promote this cause: you can Facebook it. Hit that share button on that video, join that Kony Movement group and click ATTEND to the Kony 2012 Cover the City, and...relax. Invisible Children, with the help ofyour donations and advocacy, is goingto figure it all out. Or are they? The ideological and logistical integrity of Invisible Children Inc. has been under the critical eye for years. The best of this criticism can be seen at Grant Oyston's blog, www.visiblechildren. tumblr.com. At this point, the best thing we can do is to turn our focus towards the true causes of this malaise: poverty and corruption, which provide social and economic atmospheres for atrocities like this to happen in the first place. Although activism and spreading awareness is good, Facebook slacktivism (also known as active complacency), will never bring Kony to justice. Sol urge you to get up from your armchairs, and ifyou are truly passionate about this cause, do your research and make a dynamic, well-informed and nuanced impact on this movement. Maybe then, after the dust has settled and the Facebook bandwagon has long gone, we'll see Kony at The Hague. 13 Scene» Pictures and words on your university experience 03.12.2012 | 11 SEX» How satisfying suppers lead to sensuous sex GEOFF LISTER/THE UBYSSEY "The meal you eat before going home with someone anticipates the type of sex you will have." Happy Healthy Homy RaevenGeist- Deschamps Imagine yourself breathing in the clean, fruity smell of a freshly waxed car. Or experiencing the umami of soft goat's cheese with slightly dried sweet fig in your mouth. Or feeling yourself sensually melt into your shots of Jack Daniels, knowing that the throaty burn anticipates sheet-shuffling. And Coors Light tastes like a one night stand and sipping wine is like the dark handsome person you flirt with till you purple-mouth yourself into their pants. Isabel Allende wrote an entire book examining the relationship between sex and taste, associating the ability to appreciate food with erotic fascination. M.K. Fisher, a food writer, wrote a short story about a young virgin so nervous about losing his cherry that he ate 76 oysters and then promptly felt too sick to meet his lover. I spent many nights arguing with a Frenchman about how a person's ability to gush over food unveils their appreciation for sins ofthe flesh. He said that the invention of North American fast food was parallel to the pallid performances of Canadians and Americans in bed. Fast food has no soul or sense of romance, he would say, unlike drawing out a meal till it's appreciated in full. McDonald's develops a culture of quickies. Another one of my friends says the meal you eat before going home with someone completely foreshadows the type of sex you have. Ifyou go out for a fancy, sensual date with wine and dessert—four courses and playing footsie—you'll make love sensually, because it's first-date sex. And if you've been with the person for a long time, you're still going to have amazing sex because it's a celebration. But if you've been with someone a longtime, your falafel dinner means bra-on, pants-down- to-ankles, maintenance sex. The invention of fast food runs parallel to the pallid performances of Canadians and Americans. McDonald's develops a culture of quickies. In the doldrums of this midterm season, amongst the splashes of raindrops and insanity of stress- filled library hours, perhaps you'll allow yourself to eat—silently, slowly—grasping what texture actually feels like, rather than shoveling cold Honor Roll rice down your gullet with a side of fatty eel. I've heard of gurus givingtheir students a grape and telling them to spend 20 minutes consuming it, skin and pulpy interior. It's supposed to be an exercise in experience, but what I think it comes down to is that a person who doesn't connect with their palate cannot possibly titillate their pelvis. 13 DO YOU WANT THE CHANCE TO EARN this Summer?" H0O8 AH Star Team www.PropertyStarsJobs.co UBCREC JOSH CURRANflHEUBYSSEY A cyclist competes in UBC Rec's Triathlon/Duathlon on Sunday. Most athletes enjoyed the accomplished feeling that came with completing the arduous swim/bike/run, but victory came with some downsides. Worst part of the Tri? Chafing, tweeted one participant. Think this newspaper sucks? Think that it's pretty good-but you could do better? You're in luck. Elections for the 2012/13 editorial board begin later this month. Ten editorial positions are open to candidates who will be UBC students next year. Email elections administrator Colin Chia at for more information. Deadline is March 23. SPARTAN HEALTH (Realize ^our (Dreams SCIENCES UNIVERSITY Over 30 years of training medical doctors 4 years MD program Low affordable tuition Long standing rotation programs in US and Canada 2000+ practicing physicians in CANADA, US, and across the globe. Same curriculum as US medical programs and universities Located in the beautiful Caribbean island of St. Lucia Direct flights from Toronto, New York, Miami, Atlanta, London * High acceptance rate into residency programs at major US hospitals > Low rate credit lines from reputable Canadian banks. Call RBC at 416 974 8124 l+l Spartan University St. Lucia Tel: (718) 841 7660 H^SlH www.spartanmed.org New York Office Tel: (718) 456 6446 121 Games 103.12.2012 Crossword 1 2 3 4 S 6 7 ' 1 ' 10 11 12 13 1 M " 16 17 " 10 J - 21 22 ■ 23 ■ 2S 26 2? 28 29 30 31 32 33 1 ■ 3S 36 1 ■ 37 38 35 10 41 42 43 ■ 45 M ■ 48 49 1 ■ 50 SI 52 ^ " S4 55 56 57 58 59 GO 62 1 ; 64 ts EG 67 68 " 70 (CUP) - Puzzles provided by BestCrosswords.com. 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V «, V. 1 0 1. 2 7 1 8 1 3 5 6 2 1 5 6 4 7 2 3 9 4 1 5 1 4 5 1 6 4 9 3 6 4 7 9 5 7 5 3 cimS Insider weekly student society a weekly look at what's new at your student society www.ams.ubc.ca Keep up to date with the AMS Facebook: UBC Alma Mater Society * Twitter: @AMS_UBC THIS WEEK! THIS WEEK! 13-14 10 am-3 pm ' Main Concptffse,SL/6"""@en ; edm:hasType "Newspapers"@en ; dcterms:spatial "Vancouver (B.C.)"@en ; dcterms:identifier "LH3.B7 U4"@en, "LH3_B7_U4_2012_03_12"@en ; edm:isShownAt "10.14288/1.0128102"@en ; dcterms:language "English"@en ; edm:provider "Vancouver : University of British Columbia Library"@en ; dcterms:publisher "Vancouver : The Ubyssey Publications Society"@en ; dcterms:rights "Images provided for research and reference use only. Permission to publish, copy, or otherwise use these images must be obtained from The Ubyssey: http://ubyssey.ca/"@en ; dcterms:source "Original Format: University of British Columbia. Archives"@en ; dcterms:subject "University of British Columbia"@en ; dcterms:title "The Ubyssey"@en ; dcterms:type "Text"@en ; dcterms:description ""@en .