@prefix edm: . @prefix dcterms: . @prefix dc: . @prefix skos: . edm:dataProvider "CONTENTdm"@en ; dcterms:isReferencedBy "http://resolve.library.ubc.ca/cgi-bin/catsearch?bid=1211252"@en ; dcterms:isPartOf "University Publications"@en ; dcterms:issued "2016-01-18"@en, "1945-11-24"@en ; edm:aggregatedCHO "https://open.library.ubc.ca/collections/Ubysseynews/items/1.0125406/source.json"@en ; dc:format "application/pdf"@en ; skos:note """ LSE Approves Leaflet Stand « APPROVAL of the Discipline Committee's action against Sid Zlotnik for violation of AMS and LSE Constitutions was giv- cn by LSE major executive Thursday noon. It was pointed out during the meeting that a loophole from part 6 and 7, clause 8, of the LSE constitution concerning club expenditures, was not provided by the fact that the students financed the pamphlets themselves. Peter Lindenfeld, Social Problems Club president declared that in his opinion the students concerned vent to considerable pains to follow the correct procedure. Mamook's president Aaro Aho wanted to know why the code violators did not seek Parliamentary Forum executive approval Ijrfort distributing the leaflets. Book Store Wagea Losing Battle • IT'S A LOSING battle at the Book Store. The books come in — the books go out You've gotta be there to see it! As for those English 2 texts go much in demand, the same applies to them. The Book Store has them at intervals. There has already been some response to the store's plea to the public for those English 2 texts but as fast as they are received students pounce upon them and ask for more. First you see them, then you don't You can't win, folks, but don't blame the Book Store. Wmmi vol. xxvra VANCOUVER, B.C., SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 24, 1945 Number 25 SASKATOON STUDENTS ATTACK JAP EXPULSION • STUDENT BODY of the University of Saskatchewan at Saskatoon, have wired to the Dominion Government a resolution that action for the repatriation of Canadian-Japanese be discontinued, and recommends that all other Canadian universities take similar action. Work Starts On SIXTH RED CROSS BALL English Housing McGoun Debates SUFFERS BIRTH PANGS Expert Gives Talk Last Jokers Meet Held On; Friday By "A" JOKER t JOKERS! Your time has come! A, month from now half you lads will be here no more. You'll be home for the Christmas holidays, most never to return. All must be sure to turn out for the last meeting of the year on Friday, November 30, in Aggis 100, 12:30 noon. Turn out to see the executive for the last time. After this, all yo-yo yokel ectivities will be directed from the Ace Joker's new residence, situated in {he restful surroundings of New Westminster's largest private home. JOKER RESCUE An all-out attempt to rescue our heroic Ace Joker will be made Saturday night when the Jokers invade New Westminster loir the last time. Bring your yo-yo'» and your water pistols to Connaught Park, 7:15 p.m. Saturday night. Steal your car on the way. Any Joker arriving without a car will be immediately disposed of by the executive. This is the last official communique from the Noise Joker. With tears in his eyes, lie bids all his colleagues a fond farewell. • PLANS FOR the McGoun Cup debates, to be held January 19, have been announced. University of Saskachewan, University of Manitoba and UBC will each enter two teams. One team from UBC will go to Saskatchewan while the other will debate here against Manitoba. Although the exact wording of the resolution has not yet been determined, subject of the debates will be "Government Responsibility for Employment.'' Tryouts for UBC debaters are to be held Wednesday, November 28, at 1:30, to pick the two two- man teams which will represent the university. Dr. W. N. Sage, Dr. J. Crumb and Prof. F. G. C. Wood will act as judges. Arrangements For AMS Games Set • FINANCIAL arrangements for future basektball and English rugby games have been made, according to AMS treasurer Garry Millar. At all university basketball games, the prices will be 75c for reserved seats, 50c for rush seats, and 25c for students. The AMS pass system pays an additional 15c for each student. University English ftigby games are a pass feature which means they are free to all students holding AMS pass cards. Returned Lads T Keen On Study • IN ANSWER to a recent query as to whether ex-service students at the university were really knuckling down to their studying, Dr. Norman MacRenzie, the president, replied by telling this little story. It appears that a pretty young co-ed commented sadly to the president on the unsocial behavior of these young men from, the wars, v "I cant quite understand them, Sir," she said, a puzzled look on her youthful features. "When they ask me for a date they say, 'We can go over our History notes together, or swat up on some Chemistry'.'' "But, the funny thing, is, Sir, we really do go over our History notes and swat Chemistry!" "5 don't understand H at all, Sir?* Xmas Work Register Awaits Exam Schedule • REGISTRATIONS for Christmas work can not be accepted by the AMS Employment Bureau until the Registrar releases the timetable for exams, according to Director Helen Duncan. The Bureau works in conjunction ' with National Employment Service. As NES needs to know when students are definitely available for work, Duncan feels it far useless to register students until the exam time table is posted. READY TO GO The registration forms are ready and waiting in. the Bureau's office «n the AMS offices. All that is needed to set the machinery going is specific information about the Christmas quiz timetable. Registrar C. B. Wood told the UBYSSEY Friday morning that the exam timetable should be posted at the beginning of next week. NES has advised Duncan that ttudents will be needed at the postoffice, the bulk of them on December 18 and 19. Veterans with overseas service, other veterans, then other students, will be giveu» Science Is Getting Tougher & Tougher • HOW TO FAIL an examination without writing it. That"s the problem of Jack Bruce, 8c. '47, who received a letter from the. Dean's office this week in-* forming him that he had failed his midterm examinations. Bruce no more likes failing examinations than does the faculty like to see it happen. And he appreciates the Dean's interest. But Bruce is not attending the university this year. preference in that order. Present plans call for the Bureau to register all students, including veterans. For Christmas work Canadian Legion members will register at the Bureau instead of with its own job placement service. MUSSOC Chorus Starts Work • ALL MEMBERS of the Musical Society are asked to attend the General Meeting Monday, in Ap. Sc. 100, at 12:30. This includes everyone in the Mussoc, especially thoss who wish to try out for principal parts in the spring production. Following this short business meeting, the rehearsal will be held as usual so all the chorus are requested to bring their scores. Jazzsoc Presents •First Jam Session • THE JAZZ SOCIETY presented its first jive session of the year on. Thursday noon. Top flight local jazzmen featured were Frank Baker, trumpet; Ronnie Burke, tenor sax; Jack Cohen, drums; Red Williams, piano; Joe Micelli, clarinet and Stu Scott, base. These stylists, playing together for the first time gave out with socko arrangements of Honeysuckle Rose, Sunnyside of the Street, The Man I Love and Flying Home. Wants $50,000 • CONFUSION now reigns among Greek Letter Societies, and among Student Council members regarding the possibility of holding the sixth annual Red Cross Ball next January. For five years the Pan-Hellenic ' ~ Society, representing the eight sororities, and the Inter-Fraternity Council, representing the twelve campus fraternities, have sponsored a Red Cross Ball. Over that period the profits for the venture have gradually risen from $1000 to last year's $4500. During the past few weeks representatives from Pan-Hell and EFC met together and set themselves up as a committee to plan the Red Cross Ball for 1946, with Audrey Buchanan and Don New- son as co-chairman. Then, at AMS Student Council meeting on Tuesday night it was moved by Cal Whitehead, Sophomore Member, seconded by Garry Miller, AMS Treasurer, and passed by the Council, "That an ISS Ball be held in place of the war-time Red Cross Ball hi the spring term of •1948." ISS stands for International Student Service, (see other story. on this page.) It was the feeling of Council that this would be a great opportunity for UBC to aid world-wide * student organization and at the same time get away from the wartime practice of holding a Red Cross Ball. Council felt that it would not be practical to go on holding such affairs for ever and that this would be the chance to make the change. REFUSAL When Council members Whitehead and LSE President Fred Lip- sett approached the already functioning "Red Cross Ball" committee on Thursday noon about the matter, they were advised that the committee felt it necessary to refuse the request. Buchanan and Newson stated that they had investigated the needs of the Red Cross and had found them as great as ever. They also believed that the Red Cross helps humanity, students included, and thus they would be aiding a greater cause. They further pointed out that it is impossible to hold a function using the Red Cross name without giving that society three-quarters of the gross proceeds. Furthermore,, they told the UBY- SSEY, they claim that the great downtown support which has been built up for the Red Cross Ball would not be forthcoming for ISS. AINSWORTH STATEMENT AMS President Ainsworth issued the following statement to the UBYSSEY: "Council made the suggestion to the 'Ball Committee' because we thought it advisable to consider at this time the best possible course to which the energies, time, and money of the student body might be devoted. International Student Service is the only charity which depends solely for its sources on the efforts of university students all over Canada. "However, it is a matter for the committee to investigate the rela- tive needs of various charities and to determine the one which needs support most urgently. "Another consideration originally discussed was the possibility of holding a Victory Ball, with the proceeds to be divided between the Red Cross and the Community Chest MORE. TROUBLE Further complicating the whole issue was the story in the downtown paper Thursday evening which prematurely definitely announced the holding of a Red Cross Ball on January 24 and 25 at the Commodore. Meanwhile the "Red Cross Ball" committee as going ahead with plans to hold the function on January 24-25. Co-chairman Audrey Buchanan Friday morning issued an invitation to any student interested in working on the committee to contact her immediately. • DR. MARCUS LONG, newly appointed chairman of the Canadian Committee of the Interna- ' tional Student Service, is setting up machinery to raise $50,000 in" universities across Canada to provide for student relief in China and Europe. Dr. Long is a member of the staff of philosophy at the University of Toronto. He taught sit University of Manitoba and Brandon College before enlisting in the Canadian Army in 1941. In the Army Dr. Long served with the Directorate of Personnel Selection both in Canada and abroad. TOWARDS PEACE Dr. Long points out that student life in Europe has been severely affected, and he adds: "We can perform not only a humanitarian service but also take a step toward achieving the peace of the world. The university students of today are the leaders of tomorrow. By extending a helping hand now to these young men and women, we .will establish a bond of friendship that will last through the years." Barbershop Will Expand... If! • CAMPUS barber shop is so successful that Peter Dyke, oper- . at,or, is contemplating putting in a new chair. Finding this shop very convenient with its full line of services students are keeping business booming and have made the barber realize that, a third chair is necessary. The chair will be installed as soon as it can be obtained. BUT—! Unfortunately, the barber shop will be unable to continue if the barber, Peter Dyke cannot find a house. At present he is offering a reward of twenty-five dollars to any student who can get him a house. Artsmen May Yet Have Photos Shot • ANY SECOND and third year Artsmen, including Commerce, Pre-Med, Law, and Home Ec, who were not able to have their pictures taken in the time allotted to their faculty, ard asked to come down to the Pub and give us their names. If there are enough to keop the photographer busy, even for two days, they will have an opportunity in the New Year to be photographed for the Totem. WUS Plan Drive On Exam-weak Men • PLANS HAVE been laid by the WUS for the first week in January to be Sadie Hawkins Week. "This is a wonderful opportunity. Ask your man white his resistance is low due to Christmas exams," suggests Nancy Pitman, WUS president. First Directories Gone With Wind • SEVEN HUNDRED Student Directories sold in half an hour Thursday and another thousand copies were selling like wildfire Friday at noon. Editor Bruce Lowther apologized for duplications in some of the copies; excusing this to miscalculations in cutting. He emphasized the fact that only three thousand copies are being printed. Students should be sure to share what copies they get with their roommates and friends, he said. • TODAY'S housing shortage in England is the direct result of six years restrictions on all building, and the increasing demand of young ex-service couples for dwellings, explained Miss Helen Alf ort, recently arrived British, housing expert during last Thursday's Parliamentary Forum gathering Miss Alfort emphasized that bombing during the war contrib1 uted in but a small manner to Britain's acute domicile shortage. "A great many people in Britain today can not afford the upkeep of a comfortable place to live," she said. "Under Britain's postwar building schemes our central government first offers a construction grant, the municipality then builds the houses, supplies the fixtures, and takes care of all rentage." She pointed out that in the rebuilding of London emphasis is placed on satellite towns rather than the closely packed old' style city of former years. Lay Plans For Brock Additions • BROCK HALL in its present form is only a shadow of its future self if LSE plans for vast enlargements materialize. Suggestions of specific rooms to be included in the extension were made in an outline presented by Bill E. Stewart, representative of major and minor LSE executive. Following are the rooms suggested: 1. Individual club rooms. 2. Amphitheatre seating 200 to 250. 3. One or two smaller meeting places for evenings, with a seating capacity of 30 to 50. 4. A bigger and better dark room for use by- the camera club. 5. Work shop iM-'the use of the Players Club and Mussoc. It was pointed out that the Thun- derbird Glider Club would also find a workshop useful. 0. Full sized basement for club rooms. 7. A dance, hall, to be approximately the size of the present Armoury, as the lounge was not originall intended as such. It was suggested as well that the executive keep ici touch with other universities to find out what plans they have made. FIRST CHEQUES READY TODAY • DVA ALLOWANCE cheques are arriving sooner than expected. They are not, however, being given out until today. The alphabetical order which Veterans' Counsel Bureau will adhere to is as follows: Saturday, November 24 A-C Monday, November 26 D-G Tuesday, November 27 H-K Wednesday, November 28 .... L-M Thursday, November 29 N-R Friday, November 30 S-Z Saturday, December 1 — A-Z Cheques will be available from 12:30 to 5:00 p.m. Monday through Friday, and up to 12:00 noon on Saturday. Committee Plans Concert In Spring • UBC's SPECIAL Events Committee plans to present the Vancouver Symphony again next spring "If humanly possible it' will be free,'' states Cal Whitehead, present sophomore member of AMS. Students are not generally aware of the existence of this hard working body whose job it is to bring out and present outstanding events under the pass system. To date, students have been entertained this year by two notable concert artists, Adolph Koldofsky, Canadian violinist and Anabell Edwards, dramatic soprano. The committee is a subsidiary organization under LSE and student officials include Fred Lipsett, Cal Whitehead, Howard Barton, Eddie Halford, Alex Cowie, Beverly Wilson, Mary Fagan and Bill Stewart. Lipsett Wants LSE Names By Jan, 16 • LISTS of all active LSE club members must be in the AMS office 'by 'S*Velock, January 10, according to Fred Lipsett, LSE President. Candidates for the office of president will be selected from them, with only those whose names on the club lists entitled to vote. Elections will take place at the regular AMS spring elections. LSE club members' names will be ticked off the voting lists and they will be given special ballots. This amendment was suggested by last year's Student Government Revision Committee. SERIO-COMIC PARLIAMENT >« MIXES FUN WITH BUSINESS ^ By ROSEMARY HOBGINS • PEPPERMINT, cherry, raspberry, lime and orange flavours were proposed for stamps of varied denominations in "a Retrogressive Progressive bill defeated in Wednesday night's Mock Parliament. Introduced by Retro Pro leader Dave Williams, the bill called for the gum on stamps from the value of one to three cents to be flavored with pepermint, four cents with cherry,five cents to 50 cents with raspberry, over 50 cents and special delivery stamps with lime and airmail with orange. Progressive Conservative Prime Minister Grant Livingstone- and his 17 party colleagues maintained their seats despite the farcical interruptions of the seven Retro- Pi o members. SAGE ABSENT In his reply to the Speech from the Throne which was read by the "Chief Justice" James R. Wilson because of the illness of Dr. W. N. Sage, CCF leader Bob Har- wood spjaking for his 10 party members endorsed part of the Throne Speech. Commenting on the body of the Speech, he said "the program, like the party, is progressive but very, very conservative." Harry Castillou, leader of the four Liberals, reminded the House that one-half of Canada's lumber is exported whereas it should be used to alleviate the housing shortage mentioned in the Throne Speech. Les Canty, in line with his ideas of retrogressism, proposed an amendment to the Throne Speech which would outlaw all Trade Unions, but which, only to his regret, was defeated. MARTm ASKS RETRACTION LLP leader Gordon Martin askea Grant Livingstone to retract his inference during the election campaign that Martin was lacking in patriotism. To this, Livingstone replied that Martin had misinterpreted his remarks. Gordon Martin moved an amendment to the Thron*. Speech regarding the Ford situation, which was seconded by Sid Zlotnik, but defeated. The government's immigration proposal was termed by Martin "a bill of frustration — a bill which was neither good, bad or indifferent." After lengthy debate involving numerous amendments end tangles with parliamentary procedure, part of the bill was passed and the rest was shelved. CHANGING HORSES During the debate on the Post Ofi'ice Act, two members changed parties. Les Canty, who said he had been misled into believing that the Retro-Pros were "Rsetro- Retroprogressives," transferred to the Progressive Conservative side c.f the House. Doug Belyea, of the fovernment, thereupon changed t:< the Retro-Pro party. Bob Wilson, garbed as a CCF parson, criticized the stamp bill for clerical reasons, saying "It is not sugar we fear, Madam, it is fermented sugar." Harriet Hochman and Phil Mor- ' ris, the two Indepsndent Democrats favored annexation by the United States and thus felt unable to vote for any bill or motion proposed by any othsr party. A telegram received by the Editor-in-Chief of UBC Publications Board from the Students Representative Council of the University of Saskatchewan Friday reads as follows: "At a mass meeting of the Students' Representative Council and the student body of the University of Saskatchewan, the following resolution was passed and copies wired to toe Prime Minister, the Minister of Labour, the Leader of the Opposition, and M. J. Coldwell, leader of the CCF Party. Whereas Canada has just successfully completed her part in a world war against fascism and whereas the present policies of the Canadian Government as regards Japanese- Canadians citizens tends towards racial prejudice and the suppression of minorities, which are two of the basic tenets of the philosophy of fascism, therefore the Students Representative Council of the University of Sastatchewan with the approval of the student body of that university resolves that urgent representation be made to the Canadian Government to the effect that no further action be taken on Bill 15, clause 9, section 3, respecting expulsion of the Japanese- Canadians from Canada, until ample time has been allowed for complete review of the cause and fuller expression of Canadian public opinion. AMS President Allan Ainsworth declined to comment on the resolution on the grounds that he had received no official notification from the student council of the University of Saskatchewan and did not wish to make a statement , until such a communication was received. GRADS CHOOSE '46 EXECUTIVE • GRADUATING CLASS officers were elected at a meeting of the Class of 1946, last Thursday. Executive officers chosen were Professor Vernon, honorary president; Tom Scott, president; Joan Stevens, vice-president; Edith Katz- nelson, secretary; and Kay Scott, treasurer. The special officers, who write the farewell notes in the Graduation issue of the UBYSSEY are Bruce Bewell, class prophet; Nancy Pitman, class poet; Geff Parkinson, valedictorian; and Mickey Burrows, author of the class will. Forestry Receives More Mill Work • SENIOR students in forestry at UBC are supplementing their academic courses by more practical inspection tours of the lumber mills, stated a recent release from the president's office. Business firms themselves have taken tha Initiative this year by inviting the students to inspect their plants in order to give them more insight into practical problems of the industry. VISITS Seventeen senior students have already visited three representative lumber mills as part of the regijlar advanced course in forestry, investigating all phases of milling and marketing. Seven such tours will be made this year, and similar ones will be arranged for next spring. Enrollment in .forestry this year is three or four times larger than at any other previous time, being well over three hundred, including a considerable number of ex- service personnel, chiefly RCAF. COMMERCE CANNY • IF ANY further proof were needed to show that Com- mercemen indeed have an eye for money, we might only point to the Thursday morning adventure of Peter Cromie. Fourth - year Commerceman Cromie had just picked up one of his passengers on his way to UBC when, we are told, he spied on the road "a wallet, with about a quarter inch of money sticking out of it". Quickly throwing his car into reverse he whipped back to pick up a wallet containing $79 in US currency, a driver's license, and a liquor permit, not yet used in November. The owner has been traced. Guess what Cromie would like for his reward. THE UBYSSEY, Saturday, November 24, 1945, Page 2 EDITORIAL PAGE . . . A Combined Effort Greek letter societies are a much criticized element on the campus this year. And they are bound to go down a notch in the opinion of the student body and in the minds of John Q. Public if they stick to their attitude toward the Red Cross Ball as evidenced in a recent meeting of the Red Cross Ball committee. A recommendation from Students' Council that members of the International Students' Service committee amalgamate with the greek letter groups as co-sponsors of the ball was turned down rather arbitrarily. It is true that fraternities and sororities have done a very efficient organizational job on the Red Cross Ball for the past few years. Individual greek letter groups, because of their tightly-knit organizations, are well able to support a co-ordinated charity effort, and have turned over a lot of money to the Red Cross in the past. No one denies this and no one denies the fact that fraternity and sorority support is essential for the success of these affairs. However, we object to the attitude that greek letter societies are, as the saying goes "a power unto themselves", as evidenced in their refusal of the recommendation from Council that they merge efforts with the International Students' Service Committee, and had neither their committee dates nor financial arrangements for the Ball approved by council before releasing publicity to the downtown papers. Of course any group has the power to refuse a recommendation, and perhaps the seemingly arbitrary action already taken by the committee was a result of ignorance of AMS constitutional procedure or a premature news leak. But in the interest of charity and campus democracy it would have been wise for the Greek letter groups to consider the council recommendation more carefully before going ahead and cornering the glory, and it must be asserted in true justice to the cause,—the hard work involved, in sponsoring the ball. There should be more careful co-ordination and planning of charity drives on the campus.. For this reason council made the amalgamation recommendation. The Red Cross is a worthy cause. The International Students' Service drive which is beginning to boom across Canadian universities is also worthy, especially because it is an entirely university student cause organized solely for students in need in other countries by students in more fortunate countries. In the past it has not been a financial success here, partly because the Red Cross Ball was tying up student attention and pocket books at the same time as the ISS international campaign. At the present time the University of Toronto is leading an ISS campaign with a $50,000 objective. It would be possible to amalgamate the efforts of two committees and split the proceeds, especially if the ball were to be held two successive nights, as has been tentatively announced here. Whether or not this two-night proposal is a good idea is another question again. The university enrolment has swollen way out of proportion and there is no place large enough in Vancouver to hold a complete University affair. If the number of tickets sold for the dance were to be limited with priority going to the greeks, then the affair should be held two nights, and enough tickets sold so that almost as many people who wanted to come could. At any rate, we would advise the Red Cross Ball committee to reconsider. People Being What They Are By JACK FERRY THE MUMMERY By JABEZ TRIO: TWO FAST CHORUSES OF "ROCK OF AGES", WITH NEW LYRICS: "SLOPPIES ARE YOUR BREAKFAST TREAT; KNOCK THE CORNS CLEAN OFF YOUR FEET, ETC." ANNOUNCER: Folks, we bring you another chapter of "GLENDA SLUNCK, GIRL SCJENCEMAN", the heartrending, tearjerking, stomach pumping story of one girl's fight against quantitative analysis. This program is brought to you when you least expect it, to make you more aware of SLOPPIES, the new miracle breakfast food containing PLUTONIUM. Just add milk or cream or sloe gin to a heaping bowl of SLOPPIES — do they pop? crunch? crackle? — hell, no, they vaporize the entire house! Remember: easy-to-prepare SLOPPIES cook right in your stomach, retaining their natural goodness! Well! Last time, you'll remember, we left Glenda trapped in a coffee urn in the Caf. Since then they've drawn 500 cups off Glenda and she's getting mighty tired of that lukewarm water, yes, sir! Our scene today is the Caf table of the Gumma Gumma Gummas. • Listen .... SOUND: ROAR OF VOICES, SHOUTED EQUATIONS, CLATTER OF BROKEN DISHES, CHATTER OF BROKEN DATES, ETC. GWETHOLYN FARBSTEIN: (blue-blooded, and varicose enough to grove it) Look, girls, there goes one of those Fraser Deltas, the one with the nice teeth and the Buick. FAWNCY THATNOUGH: (frustrated, heavy-chested, biscuit-colored) Six or eight cylinders? GWETHOLYN: Six, but he's got a Big Block. FAWNCY: Thank God his hair covers most of it. PAMELA BUNKLE: (chewed her way into the Gumma Gumma Gummas; enjoys independent source of Spearmint) They say his father is the power behind every septic tank in the West. He gives his girls gardenias, and he's trying hard to learn to talk. JIM GAYFELLOW: (falling, as though by accident, off a passing tray; keenly interested in Gwetholyn's legs) Hello, Gums! Still bleeding? FAWNCY: Crowded buses, English midterms, and now this. JIM: Gad, look at Gwethy's new sweater! Pullovers like that bring out the moth in me. (Paws boyishly at Farb- stein). GLENDA SLUNCK: (stumbling up with coffee grounds in her hair, a Caf dinner glowering on her tray) I'm hongry. Can I set here? GWETHOLYN: (to Pamela) What did she say? PAMELA: She wants to set here. FAWNCY: Maybe she feels an egg coming on. GWETHOLYN: (to Glenda, who has unfolded an obviously homemade canvas stool) This is the Gumma Gumma Gumma table, dear. Are you pledged? GLENDA: Nope, I'll take a drink with the next man. Let's have it. PAMELA: This is going to be harder than I thought. GWETHOLYN: We can't have her sit here. Who's in charge of the dirty looks this week? FAWNCY: (coolly filing her teeth) I am, but I'm not going to waste my fire on a blank target. She's a scienceman — try sine languarge. GLENDA: Pass the salt. GWETHOLYN: Wipe that silly grin off your face, Gayfellow, and do something before the Gumma table becomes a common eating place. JIM: (leaping beside Glenda, to peer intently down her throat) I must kiss those full red labs! Dearest, are those two Erlenmeyers you're carrying in your red sweater, or dare I hope? Ah, my darling, your skin is like finest litmus paper. But smile, and the acid qi my kisses shall turn it scarlet! GLENDA: Pass the pepper. JIM: Come! Fly with me to my private laboratory. I'll show you my acid etchings, and we'll make such wonderful water-bottles together! (seizes Glenda in his arms and rushes off with her in the general direction of a coffee urn). FAWNCY: I thought they'd never go. I suppose we'd better go home and burn our clothes. Some of her may have got on us. SOUND: OUT. ANNOUNCER: Well! It looks as though our Glenda has fallen afoul of the Caf caste system, trying to eat with the sacred white cows. Her own fault, perhaps, for forgetting to start the day with a heaping bowl of SLOPPIES, the breakfast food that zooms through your system like a crack express, whistling at every crossing! TRIO: TWO FAST CHORUSES OF BEETHOVEN'S SIXTH SYMPHONY, WITH NEW LYRICS: "SLOPPIES PACKED WITH PEACHY BRAN, KEEP YOU RUNNING TO THE BEST OF YOUR ABILITY, ETC." • IF BY CHANCE yo\\i happen to be one of those students who sometimes enjoys his Saturday night by just relaxing at home —or at some dear friend's home— then you could well add to your pleasure this Saturday by tuning in to CBR at eight o'clock. At that time you'll hear the second in the UBC Radio Society's bi-weekly series of productions. If it's first show, which was aired two weeks ago, is a reputable indication, then at the very least you'll be entertained. * * • THAT PREMIERE program was devoted to the "Story of UBC." Admittedly it was not a professional show, but what it lacked in polish it made up for with dash and daring. To my mind the only jarring note was the crisply over-done affectation of the feminine voices. (It's nice to have clear enunciation coming through your loudspeaker; but it's a rather precarious feeling when you suspect that the actress is spitting her words at you.) * * • IT MIGHT BE history but to the present gargantuan UBC generation it's also probably news that the idea of a university for British Columbia first went on record in the report of the Provincial Superintendent of Education in 1877. With typical governmental vigor in regard to college affairs, nothing was done about it until 1907. It's probably not news to the same 1945 generation that when it came time to choose the site for * * • AND SO IT WENT, through the grim war years, and- the early twenties when it truly seemed that BC college spirit was busting out all over. If you caught the show, you'll know what I mean. If you didn't, you might do as I suggested before, and listen in to this Saturday's show. The In case you know nothing about the Radio Society, I can best describe it for you as a small, eager band of writers, actors, 'directors, and technicians who have been working busily during the past few years to put UBC on the radio map. They've come so far along the line that they now have their own offices and studio on the campus and their own programs going out over the CBC Pacific Regional network every other Saturday night. * * Man-of-many-parts, ex-European sky-war veteran, and proud new poppa, Jimmy Beard wrote that first show. He had dug so far into UBC's short but already musty history that the whole show reeked of shacks and mythical thunderbirds. He tells me that he got most of his out-of-the-way information from works by Professor Thorlief Larsen and the late John Riding- ton. * * the institution, a larger city was frowned upon because it made for "exposure to unhealthy moral influences." Not the least of the redecorated facts presented last Saturday was the story about the chap sent to Europe with $100,000 and the command to purchase books for the new University of B.C. Library. Arriving in Germany on August 4, 1914 ,he was immediately thrown into the local tower, suspected of being a very clever spy indeed. * * time, eight o'clock. The station, CBR. The script will deal with ttie "Story of a Returned Soldier at UBC." (After this recommendation I've given, I just hope they resist the temptation to throw schmaltz into that little deal.) <7/te IdlyMeq Offices Brock Hall - - Phone ALma 1624 For Advertising Campus Subscriptions—$1.50 Mail Subscriptions—$2.00 KErrisd ale 1811 Issued every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday by the Students' Publication Board of the Alma Mater Society of the University of British Columbia EDITOR-IN-CHIEF ...- MARDEE DUNDAS GENERAL STAFF SATURDAY STAFF „ Senior Editor Jack Farry News Editor Ron Haggart Assoclate wto^.. r^ Ferguson, Associate News Editor Harry Allen Harry Castillou, R o s m a r y Features Editor .... Peter Duval Hodgins. CUP Editor Don Stainsby Assistant Editors: Bruce Lowther, „ , _ . Betty Motherwell. Business Manager .... Bob Estey . REPORTERS Photography Editor ... Pat Worth- Howie Wolfe Val Searg ^ higton. Gordon, Phyllis Reid, Priscffla Sports Editor Luke Moyls Scott, Mary Reynolds, Gerry Foote, Associate Don McClean Bob Mungall, Grant Livingstone, _ , _, , _, " , . _. Phil Ashton, Jim Aitkin, Peeev Reporters . . Fred Crombie, Dave _ . • ssy Wilkinson, Joan Grimmett, Ken Barker, Chuck Bryant, Dave ^ Beveriy Cormier, Charlotte Comparelli, Pat Gardiner, Jo Schroeder, Marjorie Burden, and Castillou. vlarion Shore. • EDITOR'S NOTE: Whoops, maybe if s post-war nerves, bat the Ubyssey has made another error. The Mock Parliament pamphleteers were NOT fined for violation of article 14 of the AMS constitution. • NOTICE: There will be a showing of films on Latin America on Tuesday, November 27, at 3:45 p.m. in Arts 100, by the Spanish Club, El Circulo Latinoamericano. All students are. invited to attend. • MEETING: Tuesday, noon is the time planned for the forming of an Archery Club for men and women. Place is Arts 102. • LOST: In Arts 100, Monday noon at the Mock Parliament elections. 1 brown loose leaf folder, 1 "Mathematics of Investment". Please return to S. Zlotnik. BAy. 9996M. • LOST—Gold ring with pearls inset. On Thursday, November 21. Finder please return—Reward. Phone PAc. 3081. • MEETING: Women's Public Speaking Club meeting Tuesday, November 27, 12:30 p.m., in Arts 103. • FOR SALE: History 1 text - Langsam "Europe Since 1911". Contact Nancy Macdonald, ALma 1408R. • LETTERS To The Editor Montreal Head Office UNIVERSITY PEOPLE—students and faculty alike—will find a friendly, helpful banking service at Canada's Oldest Bank. BANK OF MONTREAL working with Canadians in every walk of life since 1817 West Point Grey Branch Sasamat and Tenth E. J. Schiedel, Mgr. Dear Madam: We thank you for your co-operation of the past but we find that your editorial of Tuesday, November 20 is a definite mis-statement of facts. You mention "off-color" jokes being presented at pep meets and tea dances by the Jokers Club. We feel that our efforts with regard to "humor" have been kept within the bounds of cleanliness as previously established on the campus—comparison proves. With reference to the latest tea dance, we of the Jokers Club feel that criticism on your part was unfounded since the MC, although a member of the above mentioned club was acting entirely under the jurisdiction of the WUS and not for the Jokers Club. Lastly, may we enlighten you on your very broad statement "Every organization on the campus ne3ds the support of the older students." The Jokers Club, 'as you should well know, being largely composed of ex-service personml, has student members not only older in age but also in experience as far as campus clubs are concerned. We of the Jokers Club appreciate your interest in us and hope you will continue to offer helpful suggestions. (signed) JOKERS CLUB. P.S. Please buy a copy of "Dear Sir" at any magazine counter. Dear Madam, At the outset of the election (No. 1) for the Mock Parliament, President Hal Daykin warned everyone that it wasn't to be taken too seriously. Inasmuch as everyone else seems to have disregarded his advice, allow me also to be serious for a moment. The matter which has caused me to take this unprecedented action of writing a letter-to-the-editor was provoked by Grant Livingstone, Conservative. Party leader, when he opened his address at the election (No. 2) with these words —"Ladies and gentlemen, fellow Canadians, I exclude the LPP.'' I know a few of the LPP mem- , bers on the campus and I know that several of them are veterans. I feel that in view of the fact that these men have served in the Armed Forces, some of them Overseas, they have the right to be called Canadians just as much as anyone else. I'm sure that if ex- soldier Livingstone will stop to think over his remarks he will realize how unjust there were. By the way, I'm not a member of the LPP. Yours, Robert W. Prittie. • THANKS—Keith MacDonald's election as Fall Ball King is a big boost to us Pre-Meds, and we'd like to thank everyone who voted him in. Our big job at present is to get our Med Faculty here next fall, and every push of this sort helps. • BOOK EXCHANGE—All those students who have receipts for the Book Exchange may receive refunds at the AMS office—Bob Morris, manager. Dueck Chevrolet Oldsmobile LTD. USED CARS COLLISION REPAIRS TIRES CARS FOR HIRE COMPLETE LUBRICATION SERVICE BUDGET SERVICE Everything For Your Car 1305 W. Broadway BAy. 4861 ■ HE'D LIKE TO KNOW YOU The service you receive from your bank is rendered so quietly and efficiently that the human values behind it may not have occurred to you. Think, for instance, of the confidence you rest in your branch bank manager, perhaps without even knowing him well personally. You ought to know him better. By deposit- ing your money in his branch, you made him and his staff the custodians of your account and the transactions relating to it. You hold him in high trust, knowing that your private affairs will be kept private. You will find your bank manager a trained man who has come up through the ranks, and who will be glad to discuss your financial needs with you and to inform you as to the appropriate service his bank can render. Should you desire a personal loan to meet some unexpected expense, talk it over with him. You can depend on receiving courteous, understanding and friendly consideration. Small loans are just one of the services your bank provides. You may be surprised to learn of many other services available for your use. This Advertisement is Sponsored by your Bank THE UBYSSEY, Saturday, November 24, 1945, Page 3 • Beauty-On-The-Sp#t Today'8 Beauty Park Lot Change GALS GAMBOL AT HI-JINX Miller Clarifies "A thing of beauty is a joy forever" Fair maids were not permitted to be clever In days of old. These damsels merely smiled, And hearts of gallant knights were soon beguiled. 0 carefree hearts! They knew no Mr. Ferry To plague their days and make them far from merry. Their only worrying beauty on the spot . . . The worry of their patch being on or not, O days of chivalry, when Raleigh spread His scarlet cloak for dainty feet to tread- When nobody considered it was highbrow To warmly eulogize your lady's eyebrow— When^pvers kissed the air that blew the curl That, tumbled on m'lady's brow of pearl- Compared her eyes to stars. But now it pleases Them to note our under-eye valises. The boogie-woogie starts; they say "Hi worm", Then writhing like amoebas, ooze "Let's squirm". In happy days of yore it was taboo To smoke if gentle ladies were with you;. But now with sad mascara tears we cry When gallants exhale smoke into our eye. 'Twas elegant for maids to faint frcaiJtjtright (Although 'twas truly from their stays too tight) But now propitious swoons one never sees (The Red Cross Books says "Head between the knees") The ideal woman, praised on every side Is a female prototype of Jekyll an