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skos:note """ LSE Approves
Leaflet Stand
« APPROVAL of the Discipline
Committee's action against
Sid Zlotnik for violation of AMS
and LSE Constitutions was giv-
cn by LSE major executive Thursday noon.
It was pointed out during the
meeting that a loophole from part
6 and 7, clause 8, of the LSE constitution concerning club expenditures, was not provided by the
fact that the students financed the
pamphlets themselves.
Peter Lindenfeld, Social Problems
Club president declared that in his
opinion the students concerned
vent to considerable pains to follow the correct procedure.
Mamook's president Aaro Aho
wanted to know why the code
violators did not seek Parliamentary Forum executive approval
Ijrfort distributing the leaflets.
Book Store Wagea
Losing Battle
• IT'S A LOSING battle at
the Book Store. The books
come in — the books go out
You've gotta be there to see it!
As for those English 2 texts
go much in demand, the same
applies to them. The Book Store
has them at intervals.
There has already been some
response to the store's plea to
the public for those English 2
texts but as fast as they are
received students pounce upon
them and ask for more.
First you see them, then you
don't You can't win, folks,
but don't blame the Book Store.
Wmmi
vol. xxvra
VANCOUVER, B.C., SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 24, 1945
Number 25
SASKATOON STUDENTS
ATTACK JAP EXPULSION
• STUDENT BODY of the University of Saskatchewan at
Saskatoon, have wired to the Dominion Government a
resolution that action for the repatriation of Canadian-Japanese be discontinued, and recommends that all other Canadian
universities take similar action.
Work Starts On SIXTH RED CROSS BALL English Housing
McGoun Debates SUFFERS BIRTH PANGS Expert Gives Talk
Last Jokers Meet
Held On; Friday
By "A" JOKER
t JOKERS! Your time has come!
A, month from now half you
lads will be here no more. You'll
be home for the Christmas holidays, most never to return.
All must be sure to turn out for
the last meeting of the year on
Friday, November 30, in Aggis
100, 12:30 noon.
Turn out to see the executive
for the last time. After this, all
yo-yo yokel ectivities will be directed from the Ace Joker's new
residence, situated in {he restful
surroundings of New Westminster's largest private home.
JOKER RESCUE
An all-out attempt to rescue our
heroic Ace Joker will be made
Saturday night when the Jokers
invade New Westminster loir the
last time.
Bring your yo-yo'» and your
water pistols to Connaught Park,
7:15 p.m. Saturday night. Steal
your car on the way. Any Joker
arriving without a car will be
immediately disposed of by the
executive.
This is the last official communique from the Noise Joker. With
tears in his eyes, lie bids all his
colleagues a fond farewell.
• PLANS FOR the McGoun Cup
debates, to be held January 19,
have been announced.
University of Saskachewan, University of Manitoba and UBC will
each enter two teams.
One team from UBC will go to
Saskatchewan while the other will
debate here against Manitoba.
Although the exact wording of
the resolution has not yet been
determined, subject of the debates
will be "Government Responsibility for Employment.''
Tryouts for UBC debaters are
to be held Wednesday, November
28, at 1:30, to pick the two two-
man teams which will represent
the university. Dr. W. N. Sage,
Dr. J. Crumb and Prof. F. G. C.
Wood will act as judges.
Arrangements For
AMS Games Set
• FINANCIAL arrangements for
future basektball and English
rugby games have been made, according to AMS treasurer Garry
Millar.
At all university basketball
games, the prices will be 75c for
reserved seats, 50c for rush seats,
and 25c for students. The AMS
pass system pays an additional 15c
for each student.
University English ftigby games
are a pass feature which means
they are free to all students holding AMS pass cards.
Returned Lads T
Keen On Study
• IN ANSWER to a recent query
as to whether ex-service students at the university were really
knuckling down to their studying,
Dr. Norman MacRenzie, the president, replied by telling this little
story.
It appears that a pretty young
co-ed commented sadly to the
president on the unsocial behavior
of these young men from, the
wars, v
"I cant quite understand them,
Sir," she said, a puzzled look on
her youthful features. "When they
ask me for a date they say, 'We
can go over our History notes
together, or swat up on some
Chemistry'.''
"But, the funny thing, is, Sir,
we really do go over our History
notes and swat Chemistry!"
"5 don't understand H at all,
Sir?*
Xmas Work Register
Awaits Exam Schedule
• REGISTRATIONS for Christmas work can not be
accepted by the AMS Employment Bureau until the
Registrar releases the timetable for exams, according to
Director Helen Duncan.
The Bureau works in conjunction '
with National Employment Service.
As NES needs to know when students are definitely available for
work, Duncan feels it far useless to
register students until the exam
time table is posted.
READY TO GO
The registration forms are ready
and waiting in. the Bureau's office
«n the AMS offices. All that is
needed to set the machinery going
is specific information about the
Christmas quiz timetable.
Registrar C. B. Wood told the
UBYSSEY Friday morning that
the exam timetable should be
posted at the beginning of next
week.
NES has advised Duncan that
ttudents will be needed at the
postoffice, the bulk of them on
December 18 and 19. Veterans with
overseas service, other veterans,
then other students, will be giveu»
Science Is Getting
Tougher & Tougher
• HOW TO FAIL an examination
without writing it.
That"s the problem of Jack Bruce,
8c. '47, who received a letter from
the. Dean's office this week in-*
forming him that he had failed
his midterm examinations.
Bruce no more likes failing examinations than does the faculty
like to see it happen. And he
appreciates the Dean's interest.
But Bruce is not attending the
university this year.
preference in that order.
Present plans call for the Bureau
to register all students, including
veterans. For Christmas work
Canadian Legion members will
register at the Bureau instead of
with its own job placement service.
MUSSOC Chorus
Starts Work
• ALL MEMBERS of the Musical
Society are asked to attend the
General Meeting Monday, in Ap.
Sc. 100, at 12:30.
This includes everyone in the
Mussoc, especially thoss who
wish to try out for principal parts
in the spring production.
Following this short business
meeting, the rehearsal will be held
as usual so all the chorus are requested to bring their scores.
Jazzsoc Presents
•First Jam Session
• THE JAZZ SOCIETY presented its first jive session of the
year on. Thursday noon.
Top flight local jazzmen featured
were Frank Baker, trumpet; Ronnie Burke, tenor sax; Jack Cohen,
drums; Red Williams, piano; Joe
Micelli, clarinet and Stu Scott,
base.
These stylists, playing together
for the first time gave out with
socko arrangements of Honeysuckle Rose, Sunnyside of the
Street, The Man I Love and Flying Home.
Wants $50,000
• CONFUSION now reigns among Greek Letter Societies,
and among Student Council members regarding the
possibility of holding the sixth annual Red Cross Ball next
January.
For five years the Pan-Hellenic ' ~
Society, representing the eight
sororities, and the Inter-Fraternity
Council, representing the twelve
campus fraternities, have sponsored
a Red Cross Ball. Over that period
the profits for the venture have
gradually risen from $1000 to last
year's $4500.
During the past few weeks representatives from Pan-Hell and
EFC met together and set themselves up as a committee to plan
the Red Cross Ball for 1946, with
Audrey Buchanan and Don New-
son as co-chairman.
Then, at AMS Student Council
meeting on Tuesday night it was
moved by Cal Whitehead, Sophomore Member, seconded by Garry
Miller, AMS Treasurer, and passed
by the Council, "That an ISS Ball
be held in place of the war-time
Red Cross Ball hi the spring term
of •1948."
ISS stands for International
Student Service, (see other story.
on this page.) It was the feeling
of Council that this would be a
great opportunity for UBC to aid
world-wide * student organization
and at the same time get away
from the wartime practice of holding a Red Cross Ball. Council felt
that it would not be practical to
go on holding such affairs for ever
and that this would be the chance
to make the change.
REFUSAL
When Council members Whitehead and LSE President Fred Lip-
sett approached the already functioning "Red Cross Ball" committee
on Thursday noon about the matter, they were advised that the
committee felt it necessary to refuse the request.
Buchanan and Newson stated
that they had investigated the
needs of the Red Cross and had
found them as great as ever. They
also believed that the Red Cross
helps humanity, students included,
and thus they would be aiding a
greater cause.
They further pointed out that it
is impossible to hold a function
using the Red Cross name without
giving that society three-quarters
of the gross proceeds.
Furthermore,, they told the UBY-
SSEY, they claim that the great
downtown support which has been
built up for the Red Cross Ball
would not be forthcoming for ISS.
AINSWORTH STATEMENT
AMS President Ainsworth issued
the following statement to the
UBYSSEY:
"Council made the suggestion to
the 'Ball Committee' because we
thought it advisable to consider at
this time the best possible course
to which the energies, time, and
money of the student body might
be devoted. International Student
Service is the only charity which
depends solely for its sources on
the efforts of university students
all over Canada.
"However, it is a matter for the
committee to investigate the rela-
tive needs of various charities and
to determine the one which needs
support most urgently.
"Another consideration originally
discussed was the possibility of
holding a Victory Ball, with the
proceeds to be divided between
the Red Cross and the Community
Chest
MORE. TROUBLE
Further complicating the whole
issue was the story in the downtown paper Thursday evening
which prematurely definitely announced the holding of a Red Cross
Ball on January 24 and 25 at the
Commodore.
Meanwhile the "Red Cross Ball"
committee as going ahead with
plans to hold the function on January 24-25. Co-chairman Audrey
Buchanan Friday morning issued
an invitation to any student interested in working on the committee
to contact her immediately.
• DR. MARCUS LONG, newly
appointed chairman of the Canadian Committee of the Interna- '
tional Student Service, is setting
up machinery to raise $50,000 in"
universities across Canada to provide for student relief in China
and Europe.
Dr. Long is a member of the
staff of philosophy at the University of Toronto. He taught sit University of Manitoba and Brandon
College before enlisting in the
Canadian Army in 1941. In the
Army Dr. Long served with the
Directorate of Personnel Selection
both in Canada and abroad.
TOWARDS PEACE
Dr. Long points out that student
life in Europe has been severely
affected, and he adds: "We can
perform not only a humanitarian
service but also take a step toward
achieving the peace of the world.
The university students of today
are the leaders of tomorrow. By
extending a helping hand now to
these young men and women, we
.will establish a bond of friendship
that will last through the years."
Barbershop Will
Expand... If!
• CAMPUS barber shop is so
successful that Peter Dyke, oper-
. at,or, is contemplating putting in a
new chair.
Finding this shop very convenient with its full line of services
students are keeping business
booming and have made the barber realize that, a third chair is
necessary. The chair will be installed as soon as it can be obtained.
BUT—!
Unfortunately, the barber shop
will be unable to continue if the
barber, Peter Dyke cannot find a
house. At present he is offering
a reward of twenty-five dollars to
any student who can get him a
house.
Artsmen May Yet
Have Photos Shot
• ANY SECOND and third year
Artsmen, including Commerce,
Pre-Med, Law, and Home Ec, who
were not able to have their pictures taken in the time allotted to
their faculty, ard asked to come
down to the Pub and give us their
names.
If there are enough to keop the
photographer busy, even for two
days, they will have an opportunity in the New Year to be photographed for the Totem.
WUS Plan Drive On
Exam-weak Men
• PLANS HAVE been laid by
the WUS for the first week in
January to be Sadie Hawkins
Week.
"This is a wonderful opportunity. Ask your man white his resistance is low due to Christmas
exams," suggests Nancy Pitman,
WUS president.
First Directories
Gone With Wind
• SEVEN HUNDRED Student
Directories sold in half an
hour Thursday and another
thousand copies were selling
like wildfire Friday at noon.
Editor Bruce Lowther apologized for duplications in some
of the copies; excusing this to
miscalculations in cutting.
He emphasized the fact that
only three thousand copies are
being printed. Students should
be sure to share what copies
they get with their roommates
and friends, he said.
• TODAY'S housing shortage in
England is the direct result of
six years restrictions on all building, and the increasing demand of
young ex-service couples for dwellings, explained Miss Helen Alf ort,
recently arrived British, housing
expert during last Thursday's
Parliamentary Forum gathering
Miss Alfort emphasized that
bombing during the war contrib1
uted in but a small manner to
Britain's acute domicile shortage.
"A great many people in Britain
today can not afford the upkeep
of a comfortable place to live,"
she said. "Under Britain's postwar building schemes our central
government first offers a construction grant, the municipality then
builds the houses, supplies the
fixtures, and takes care of all
rentage."
She pointed out that in the rebuilding of London emphasis is
placed on satellite towns rather
than the closely packed old' style
city of former years.
Lay Plans For
Brock Additions
• BROCK HALL in its present
form is only a shadow of its
future self if LSE plans for vast
enlargements materialize.
Suggestions of specific rooms to
be included in the extension were
made in an outline presented by
Bill E. Stewart, representative of
major and minor LSE executive.
Following are the rooms suggested:
1. Individual club rooms.
2. Amphitheatre seating 200 to 250.
3. One or two smaller meeting
places for evenings, with a
seating capacity of 30 to 50.
4. A bigger and better dark room
for use by- the camera club.
5. Work shop iM-'the use of the
Players Club and Mussoc. It
was pointed out that the Thun-
derbird Glider Club would also
find a workshop useful.
0. Full sized basement for club
rooms.
7. A dance, hall, to be approximately the size of the present
Armoury, as the lounge was
not originall intended as such.
It was suggested as well that
the executive keep ici touch with
other universities to find out what
plans they have made.
FIRST CHEQUES
READY TODAY
• DVA ALLOWANCE cheques
are arriving sooner than expected. They are not, however,
being given out until today. The
alphabetical order which Veterans'
Counsel Bureau will adhere to is
as follows:
Saturday, November 24 A-C
Monday, November 26 D-G
Tuesday, November 27 H-K
Wednesday, November 28 .... L-M
Thursday, November 29 N-R
Friday, November 30 S-Z
Saturday, December 1 — A-Z
Cheques will be available from
12:30 to 5:00 p.m. Monday through
Friday, and up to 12:00 noon on
Saturday.
Committee Plans
Concert In Spring
• UBC's SPECIAL Events Committee plans to present the
Vancouver Symphony again next
spring "If humanly possible it'
will be free,'' states Cal Whitehead,
present sophomore member of
AMS.
Students are not generally aware
of the existence of this hard working body whose job it is to bring
out and present outstanding events
under the pass system. To date,
students have been entertained this
year by two notable concert artists,
Adolph Koldofsky, Canadian violinist and Anabell Edwards, dramatic soprano.
The committee is a subsidiary
organization under LSE and student officials include Fred Lipsett,
Cal Whitehead, Howard Barton,
Eddie Halford, Alex Cowie, Beverly Wilson, Mary Fagan and Bill
Stewart.
Lipsett Wants LSE
Names By Jan, 16
• LISTS of all active LSE club
members must be in the AMS
office 'by 'S*Velock, January 10,
according to Fred Lipsett, LSE
President.
Candidates for the office of
president will be selected from
them, with only those whose names
on the club lists entitled to vote.
Elections will take place at the
regular AMS spring elections. LSE
club members' names will be ticked
off the voting lists and they will
be given special ballots. This
amendment was suggested by last
year's Student Government Revision Committee.
SERIO-COMIC PARLIAMENT >«
MIXES FUN WITH BUSINESS ^
By ROSEMARY HOBGINS
• PEPPERMINT, cherry, raspberry, lime and orange
flavours were proposed for stamps of varied denominations in "a Retrogressive Progressive bill defeated in
Wednesday night's Mock Parliament.
Introduced by Retro Pro leader
Dave Williams, the bill called for
the gum on stamps from the value
of one to three cents to be flavored
with pepermint, four cents with
cherry,five cents to 50 cents with
raspberry, over 50 cents and special delivery stamps with lime and
airmail with orange.
Progressive Conservative Prime
Minister Grant Livingstone- and
his 17 party colleagues maintained
their seats despite the farcical interruptions of the seven Retro-
Pi o members.
SAGE ABSENT
In his reply to the Speech from
the Throne which was read by
the "Chief Justice" James R. Wilson because of the illness of Dr.
W. N. Sage, CCF leader Bob Har-
wood spjaking for his 10 party
members endorsed part of the
Throne Speech. Commenting on
the body of the Speech, he said
"the program, like the party, is
progressive but very, very conservative."
Harry Castillou, leader of the
four Liberals, reminded the House
that one-half of Canada's lumber
is exported whereas it should be
used to alleviate the housing shortage mentioned in the Throne
Speech.
Les Canty, in line with his ideas
of retrogressism, proposed an
amendment to the Throne Speech
which would outlaw all Trade
Unions, but which, only to his
regret, was defeated.
MARTm ASKS RETRACTION
LLP leader Gordon Martin askea
Grant Livingstone to retract his
inference during the election campaign that Martin was lacking in
patriotism. To this, Livingstone
replied that Martin had misinterpreted his remarks.
Gordon Martin moved an
amendment to the Thron*. Speech
regarding the Ford situation,
which was seconded by Sid Zlotnik, but defeated.
The government's immigration
proposal was termed by Martin "a
bill of frustration — a bill which
was neither good, bad or indifferent." After lengthy debate involving numerous amendments
end tangles with parliamentary
procedure, part of the bill was
passed and the rest was shelved.
CHANGING HORSES
During the debate on the Post
Ofi'ice Act, two members changed
parties. Les Canty, who said he
had been misled into believing
that the Retro-Pros were "Rsetro-
Retroprogressives," transferred to
the Progressive Conservative side
c.f the House. Doug Belyea, of the
fovernment, thereupon changed
t:< the Retro-Pro party.
Bob Wilson, garbed as a CCF
parson, criticized the stamp bill for
clerical reasons, saying "It is not
sugar we fear, Madam, it is fermented sugar."
Harriet Hochman and Phil Mor-
' ris, the two Indepsndent Democrats favored annexation by the
United States and thus felt unable
to vote for any bill or motion proposed by any othsr party.
A telegram received by the
Editor-in-Chief of UBC Publications Board from the Students
Representative Council of the University of Saskatchewan Friday
reads as follows:
"At a mass meeting of the
Students' Representative Council
and the student body of the
University of Saskatchewan, the
following resolution was passed
and copies wired to toe Prime
Minister, the Minister of Labour,
the Leader of the Opposition, and
M. J. Coldwell, leader of the CCF
Party.
Whereas Canada has just successfully completed her part in a world
war against fascism and whereas
the present policies of the Canadian
Government as regards Japanese-
Canadians citizens tends towards
racial prejudice and the suppression of minorities, which are two
of the basic tenets of the philosophy
of fascism, therefore the Students
Representative Council of the University of Sastatchewan with the
approval of the student body of
that university resolves that urgent
representation be made to the
Canadian Government to the effect
that no further action be taken on
Bill 15, clause 9, section 3, respecting expulsion of the Japanese-
Canadians from Canada, until
ample time has been allowed for
complete review of the cause and
fuller expression of Canadian
public opinion.
AMS President Allan Ainsworth
declined to comment on the resolution on the grounds that he had
received no official notification
from the student council of the
University of Saskatchewan and
did not wish to make a statement
, until such a communication was
received.
GRADS CHOOSE
'46 EXECUTIVE
• GRADUATING CLASS officers
were elected at a meeting of
the Class of 1946, last Thursday.
Executive officers chosen were
Professor Vernon, honorary president; Tom Scott, president; Joan
Stevens, vice-president; Edith Katz-
nelson, secretary; and Kay Scott,
treasurer.
The special officers, who write
the farewell notes in the Graduation issue of the UBYSSEY are
Bruce Bewell, class prophet; Nancy
Pitman, class poet; Geff Parkinson,
valedictorian; and Mickey Burrows,
author of the class will.
Forestry Receives
More Mill Work
• SENIOR students in forestry
at UBC are supplementing
their academic courses by more
practical inspection tours of the
lumber mills, stated a recent release from the president's office.
Business firms themselves have
taken tha Initiative this year by
inviting the students to inspect
their plants in order to give them
more insight into practical problems of the industry.
VISITS
Seventeen senior students have
already visited three representative lumber mills as part of the
regijlar advanced course in forestry, investigating all phases of
milling and marketing. Seven
such tours will be made this year,
and similar ones will be arranged
for next spring.
Enrollment in .forestry this year
is three or four times larger than
at any other previous time, being
well over three hundred, including
a considerable number of ex-
service personnel, chiefly RCAF.
COMMERCE
CANNY
• IF ANY further proof were
needed to show that Com-
mercemen indeed have an eye
for money, we might only point
to the Thursday morning adventure of Peter Cromie.
Fourth - year Commerceman
Cromie had just picked up one
of his passengers on his way to
UBC when, we are told, he
spied on the road "a wallet,
with about a quarter inch of
money sticking out of it".
Quickly throwing his car into
reverse he whipped back to
pick up a wallet containing $79
in US currency, a driver's
license, and a liquor permit,
not yet used in November.
The owner has been traced.
Guess what Cromie would
like for his reward.
THE UBYSSEY, Saturday, November 24, 1945, Page 2
EDITORIAL PAGE . . .
A Combined Effort
Greek letter societies are a much criticized
element on the campus this year. And they
are bound to go down a notch in the opinion
of the student body and in the minds of
John Q. Public if they stick to their attitude
toward the Red Cross Ball as evidenced in
a recent meeting of the Red Cross Ball
committee. A recommendation from Students' Council that members of the International Students' Service committee amalgamate with the greek letter groups as
co-sponsors of the ball was turned down
rather arbitrarily.
It is true that fraternities and sororities
have done a very efficient organizational
job on the Red Cross Ball for the past few
years. Individual greek letter groups, because of their tightly-knit organizations, are
well able to support a co-ordinated charity
effort, and have turned over a lot of money
to the Red Cross in the past. No one denies
this and no one denies the fact that fraternity and sorority support is essential for the
success of these affairs.
However, we object to the attitude that
greek letter societies are, as the saying goes
"a power unto themselves", as evidenced
in their refusal of the recommendation from
Council that they merge efforts with the
International Students' Service Committee,
and had neither their committee dates nor
financial arrangements for the Ball approved
by council before releasing publicity to the
downtown papers.
Of course any group has the power to
refuse a recommendation, and perhaps the
seemingly arbitrary action already taken by
the committee was a result of ignorance of
AMS constitutional procedure or a premature news leak. But in the interest of
charity and campus democracy it would have
been wise for the Greek letter groups to
consider the council recommendation more
carefully before going ahead and cornering
the glory, and it must be asserted in true
justice to the cause,—the hard work involved, in sponsoring the ball.
There should be more careful co-ordination and planning of charity drives on the
campus.. For this reason council made the
amalgamation recommendation.
The Red Cross is a worthy cause. The
International Students' Service drive which
is beginning to boom across Canadian
universities is also worthy, especially because it is an entirely university student
cause organized solely for students in need
in other countries by students in more
fortunate countries. In the past it has not
been a financial success here, partly because
the Red Cross Ball was tying up student
attention and pocket books at the same time
as the ISS international campaign. At the
present time the University of Toronto is
leading an ISS campaign with a $50,000
objective.
It would be possible to amalgamate the
efforts of two committees and split the proceeds, especially if the ball were to be held
two successive nights, as has been tentatively
announced here.
Whether or not this two-night proposal
is a good idea is another question again.
The university enrolment has swollen way
out of proportion and there is no place large
enough in Vancouver to hold a complete
University affair. If the number of tickets
sold for the dance were to be limited with
priority going to the greeks, then the affair
should be held two nights, and enough
tickets sold so that almost as many people
who wanted to come could.
At any rate, we would advise the Red
Cross Ball committee to reconsider.
People Being What They Are
By JACK FERRY
THE MUMMERY
By JABEZ
TRIO: TWO FAST CHORUSES OF "ROCK OF AGES", WITH NEW LYRICS:
"SLOPPIES ARE YOUR BREAKFAST TREAT; KNOCK THE CORNS CLEAN
OFF YOUR FEET, ETC."
ANNOUNCER: Folks, we bring you another
chapter of "GLENDA SLUNCK,
GIRL SCJENCEMAN", the heartrending, tearjerking, stomach pumping story of one girl's fight against
quantitative analysis. This program
is brought to you when you least
expect it, to make you more aware
of SLOPPIES, the new miracle breakfast food containing PLUTONIUM.
Just add milk or cream or sloe gin
to a heaping bowl of SLOPPIES —
do they pop? crunch? crackle? —
hell, no, they vaporize the entire
house! Remember: easy-to-prepare
SLOPPIES cook right in your stomach, retaining their natural goodness!
Well! Last time, you'll remember,
we left Glenda trapped in a coffee
urn in the Caf. Since then they've
drawn 500 cups off Glenda and she's
getting mighty tired of that lukewarm
water, yes, sir!
Our scene today is the Caf table
of the Gumma Gumma Gummas.
• Listen ....
SOUND: ROAR OF VOICES, SHOUTED
EQUATIONS, CLATTER OF BROKEN DISHES, CHATTER OF BROKEN DATES, ETC.
GWETHOLYN FARBSTEIN: (blue-blooded, and varicose enough to grove it)
Look, girls, there goes one of those
Fraser Deltas, the one with the nice
teeth and the Buick.
FAWNCY THATNOUGH: (frustrated,
heavy-chested, biscuit-colored) Six
or eight cylinders?
GWETHOLYN: Six, but he's got a Big
Block.
FAWNCY: Thank God his hair covers most
of it.
PAMELA BUNKLE: (chewed her way into
the Gumma Gumma Gummas; enjoys
independent source of Spearmint)
They say his father is the power behind every septic tank in the West.
He gives his girls gardenias, and he's
trying hard to learn to talk.
JIM GAYFELLOW: (falling, as though by
accident, off a passing tray; keenly
interested in Gwetholyn's legs) Hello,
Gums! Still bleeding?
FAWNCY: Crowded buses, English midterms, and now this.
JIM: Gad, look at Gwethy's new sweater!
Pullovers like that bring out the
moth in me. (Paws boyishly at Farb-
stein).
GLENDA SLUNCK: (stumbling up with
coffee grounds in her hair, a Caf
dinner glowering on her tray) I'm
hongry. Can I set here?
GWETHOLYN: (to Pamela) What did she
say?
PAMELA: She wants to set here.
FAWNCY: Maybe she feels an egg coming
on.
GWETHOLYN: (to Glenda, who has unfolded an obviously homemade canvas
stool) This is the Gumma Gumma
Gumma table, dear. Are you pledged?
GLENDA: Nope, I'll take a drink with the
next man. Let's have it.
PAMELA: This is going to be harder than
I thought.
GWETHOLYN: We can't have her sit here.
Who's in charge of the dirty looks
this week?
FAWNCY: (coolly filing her teeth) I am,
but I'm not going to waste my fire on
a blank target. She's a scienceman —
try sine languarge.
GLENDA: Pass the salt.
GWETHOLYN: Wipe that silly grin off your
face, Gayfellow, and do something
before the Gumma table becomes a
common eating place.
JIM: (leaping beside Glenda, to peer intently
down her throat) I must kiss those
full red labs! Dearest, are those two
Erlenmeyers you're carrying in your
red sweater, or dare I hope? Ah,
my darling, your skin is like finest
litmus paper. But smile, and the acid
qi my kisses shall turn it scarlet!
GLENDA: Pass the pepper.
JIM: Come! Fly with me to my private
laboratory. I'll show you my acid
etchings, and we'll make such wonderful water-bottles together! (seizes
Glenda in his arms and rushes off
with her in the general direction of a
coffee urn).
FAWNCY: I thought they'd never go. I
suppose we'd better go home and burn
our clothes. Some of her may have
got on us.
SOUND: OUT.
ANNOUNCER: Well! It looks as though our
Glenda has fallen afoul of the Caf
caste system, trying to eat with the
sacred white cows. Her own fault,
perhaps, for forgetting to start the day
with a heaping bowl of SLOPPIES,
the breakfast food that zooms through
your system like a crack express,
whistling at every crossing!
TRIO: TWO FAST CHORUSES OF BEETHOVEN'S SIXTH SYMPHONY,
WITH NEW LYRICS: "SLOPPIES
PACKED WITH PEACHY BRAN,
KEEP YOU RUNNING TO THE
BEST OF YOUR ABILITY, ETC."
• IF BY CHANCE yo\\i happen
to be one of those students
who sometimes enjoys his Saturday night by just relaxing at home
—or at some dear friend's home—
then you could well add to your
pleasure this Saturday by tuning
in to CBR at eight o'clock.
At that time you'll hear the second in the UBC Radio Society's
bi-weekly series of productions.
If it's first show, which was aired
two weeks ago, is a reputable indication, then at the very least
you'll be entertained.
* *
• THAT PREMIERE program
was devoted to the "Story of
UBC." Admittedly it was not a
professional show, but what it
lacked in polish it made up for
with dash and daring. To my mind
the only jarring note was the crisply over-done affectation of the feminine voices. (It's nice to have
clear enunciation coming through
your loudspeaker; but it's a rather
precarious feeling when you suspect that the actress is spitting her
words at you.)
* *
• IT MIGHT BE history but to
the present gargantuan UBC
generation it's also probably news
that the idea of a university for
British Columbia first went on record in the report of the Provincial Superintendent of Education
in 1877. With typical governmental
vigor in regard to college affairs,
nothing was done about it until
1907.
It's probably not news to the
same 1945 generation that when it
came time to choose the site for
* *
• AND SO IT WENT, through
the grim war years, and- the
early twenties when it truly seemed that BC college spirit was busting out all over. If you caught
the show, you'll know what I
mean. If you didn't, you might
do as I suggested before, and listen
in to this Saturday's show. The
In case you know nothing about
the Radio Society, I can best describe it for you as a small, eager
band of writers, actors, 'directors,
and technicians who have been
working busily during the past
few years to put UBC on the radio
map. They've come so far along
the line that they now have their
own offices and studio on the
campus and their own programs
going out over the CBC Pacific
Regional network every other
Saturday night.
* *
Man-of-many-parts, ex-European
sky-war veteran, and proud new
poppa, Jimmy Beard wrote that
first show. He had dug so far
into UBC's short but already musty history that the whole show
reeked of shacks and mythical
thunderbirds.
He tells me that he got most of
his out-of-the-way information
from works by Professor Thorlief
Larsen and the late John Riding-
ton.
* *
the institution, a larger city was
frowned upon because it made for
"exposure to unhealthy moral influences."
Not the least of the redecorated
facts presented last Saturday was
the story about the chap sent to
Europe with $100,000 and the command to purchase books for the
new University of B.C. Library.
Arriving in Germany on August 4,
1914 ,he was immediately thrown
into the local tower, suspected of
being a very clever spy indeed.
* *
time, eight o'clock. The station,
CBR.
The script will deal with ttie
"Story of a Returned Soldier at
UBC." (After this recommendation I've given, I just hope they
resist the temptation to throw
schmaltz into that little deal.)
<7/te IdlyMeq
Offices Brock Hall - - Phone ALma 1624
For Advertising
Campus Subscriptions—$1.50
Mail Subscriptions—$2.00
KErrisd ale 1811
Issued every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday by the Students'
Publication Board of the Alma Mater Society of the
University of British Columbia
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF ...- MARDEE DUNDAS
GENERAL STAFF SATURDAY STAFF
„ Senior Editor Jack Farry
News Editor Ron Haggart Assoclate wto^.. r^ Ferguson,
Associate News Editor Harry Allen Harry Castillou, R o s m a r y
Features Editor .... Peter Duval Hodgins.
CUP Editor Don Stainsby Assistant Editors: Bruce Lowther,
„ , _ . Betty Motherwell.
Business Manager .... Bob Estey . REPORTERS
Photography Editor ... Pat Worth- Howie Wolfe Val Searg ^
higton. Gordon, Phyllis Reid, Priscffla
Sports Editor Luke Moyls Scott, Mary Reynolds, Gerry Foote,
Associate Don McClean Bob Mungall, Grant Livingstone,
_ , _, , _, " , . _. Phil Ashton, Jim Aitkin, Peeev
Reporters . . Fred Crombie, Dave _ . • ssy
Wilkinson, Joan Grimmett, Ken
Barker, Chuck Bryant, Dave ^ Beveriy Cormier, Charlotte
Comparelli, Pat Gardiner, Jo Schroeder, Marjorie Burden, and
Castillou. vlarion Shore.
• EDITOR'S NOTE: Whoops,
maybe if s post-war nerves,
bat the Ubyssey has made another error. The Mock Parliament pamphleteers were NOT
fined for violation of article 14
of the AMS constitution.
• NOTICE: There will be a
showing of films on Latin America
on Tuesday, November 27, at 3:45
p.m. in Arts 100, by the Spanish
Club, El Circulo Latinoamericano.
All students are. invited to attend.
• MEETING: Tuesday, noon is
the time planned for the forming
of an Archery Club for men and
women. Place is Arts 102.
• LOST: In Arts 100, Monday
noon at the Mock Parliament
elections. 1 brown loose leaf folder, 1 "Mathematics of Investment".
Please return to S. Zlotnik. BAy.
9996M.
• LOST—Gold ring with pearls
inset. On Thursday, November
21. Finder please return—Reward.
Phone PAc. 3081.
• MEETING: Women's Public
Speaking Club meeting Tuesday,
November 27, 12:30 p.m., in Arts
103.
• FOR SALE: History 1 text -
Langsam "Europe Since 1911".
Contact Nancy Macdonald, ALma
1408R. •
LETTERS To The Editor
Montreal
Head Office
UNIVERSITY PEOPLE—students and
faculty alike—will find a friendly, helpful banking service at Canada's Oldest
Bank.
BANK OF MONTREAL
working with Canadians in
every walk of life since
1817
West Point Grey Branch Sasamat and Tenth
E. J. Schiedel, Mgr.
Dear Madam:
We thank you for your co-operation of the past but we find that
your editorial of Tuesday, November 20 is a definite mis-statement
of facts. You mention "off-color"
jokes being presented at pep
meets and tea dances by the Jokers Club. We feel that our efforts with regard to "humor"
have been kept within the bounds
of cleanliness as previously established on the campus—comparison
proves.
With reference to the latest tea
dance, we of the Jokers Club feel
that criticism on your part was
unfounded since the MC, although
a member of the above mentioned
club was acting entirely under
the jurisdiction of the WUS and
not for the Jokers Club.
Lastly, may we enlighten you on
your very broad statement "Every
organization on the campus ne3ds
the support of the older students."
The Jokers Club, 'as you should
well know, being largely composed
of ex-service personml, has student members not only older in
age but also in experience as far
as campus clubs are concerned.
We of the Jokers Club appreciate
your interest in us and hope you
will continue to offer helpful suggestions.
(signed)
JOKERS CLUB.
P.S. Please buy a copy of "Dear
Sir" at any magazine counter.
Dear Madam,
At the outset of the election (No.
1) for the Mock Parliament, President Hal Daykin warned everyone
that it wasn't to be taken too seriously. Inasmuch as everyone
else seems to have disregarded his
advice, allow me also to be serious for a moment.
The matter which has caused me
to take this unprecedented action
of writing a letter-to-the-editor
was provoked by Grant Livingstone, Conservative. Party leader,
when he opened his address at the
election (No. 2) with these words
—"Ladies and gentlemen, fellow
Canadians, I exclude the LPP.''
I know a few of the LPP mem- ,
bers on the campus and I know
that several of them are veterans.
I feel that in view of the fact that
these men have served in the
Armed Forces, some of them Overseas, they have the right to be
called Canadians just as much as
anyone else. I'm sure that if ex-
soldier Livingstone will stop to
think over his remarks he will
realize how unjust there were.
By the way, I'm not a member
of the LPP.
Yours,
Robert W. Prittie.
• THANKS—Keith MacDonald's
election as Fall Ball King is a
big boost to us Pre-Meds, and we'd
like to thank everyone who voted
him in. Our big job at present is
to get our Med Faculty here next
fall, and every push of this sort
helps.
• BOOK EXCHANGE—All those
students who have receipts for
the Book Exchange may receive
refunds at the AMS office—Bob
Morris, manager.
Dueck Chevrolet Oldsmobile
LTD.
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■ HE'D LIKE
TO KNOW YOU
The service you receive from your
bank is rendered so quietly and efficiently that the human values behind
it may not have occurred to you.
Think, for instance, of the confidence you rest in your
branch bank manager, perhaps without even knowing him
well personally. You ought to know him better. By deposit-
ing your money in his branch, you made him and his staff
the custodians of your account and the transactions relating
to it. You hold him in high trust, knowing that your private
affairs will be kept private.
You will find your bank manager a trained man who has
come up through the ranks, and who will be glad to discuss
your financial needs with you and to inform you as to the
appropriate service his bank can render.
Should you desire a personal loan to meet some unexpected
expense, talk it over with him. You can depend on receiving
courteous, understanding and friendly consideration. Small
loans are just one of the services your bank provides. You
may be surprised to learn of many other services available
for your use.
This Advertisement is Sponsored by your Bank
THE UBYSSEY, Saturday, November 24, 1945, Page 3
• Beauty-On-The-Sp#t Today'8 Beauty Park Lot Change GALS GAMBOL AT HI-JINX Miller Clarifies
"A thing of beauty is a joy forever"
Fair maids were not permitted to be clever
In days of old. These damsels merely smiled,
And hearts of gallant knights were soon beguiled.
0 carefree hearts! They knew no Mr. Ferry
To plague their days and make them far from merry.
Their only worrying beauty on the spot . . .
The worry of their patch being on or not,
O days of chivalry, when Raleigh spread
His scarlet cloak for dainty feet to tread-
When nobody considered it was highbrow
To warmly eulogize your lady's eyebrow—
When^pvers kissed the air that blew the curl
That, tumbled on m'lady's brow of pearl-
Compared her eyes to stars. But now it pleases
Them to note our under-eye valises.
The boogie-woogie starts; they say "Hi worm",
Then writhing like amoebas, ooze "Let's squirm".
In happy days of yore it was taboo
To smoke if gentle ladies were with you;.
But now with sad mascara tears we cry
When gallants exhale smoke into our eye.
'Twas elegant for maids to faint frcaiJtjtright
(Although 'twas truly from their stays too tight)
But now propitious swoons one never sees
(The Red Cross Books says "Head between the knees")
The ideal woman, praised on every side
Is a female prototype of Jekyll an