@prefix vivo: . @prefix edm: . @prefix ns0: . @prefix dcterms: . @prefix skos: . vivo:departmentOrSchool "Education, Faculty of"@en, "Educational Studies (EDST), Department of"@en ; edm:dataProvider "DSpace"@en ; ns0:degreeCampus "UBCV"@en ; dcterms:creator "Noble, Steven Edward"@en ; dcterms:issued "2011-10-26T23:42:39Z"@en, "2006"@en ; vivo:relatedDegree "Doctor of Philosophy - PhD"@en ; ns0:degreeGrantor "University of British Columbia"@en ; dcterms:description """Problem: Psychiatrically diagnosed people living in rural Canada are often silenced or rendered invisible. Therefore, the purposes of this study were to: (i) disrupt “normal” ways of thinking about psychiatric diversity and (ii) create better relationships between psychiatric survivors and other people. These aims were achieved by staging a popular theatre production in a chicken barn. Conceptual Approach: This study was located in a radical humanist framing of critical adult education and social relations. Radical humanism foregrounds human subjectivity and is committed to social change. The conceptual framework supporting the study was arrayed as a pyramid. Radical humanism envelops the structure. At the base, were insights drawn from critical disability studies and rural sociology. The second tier pulled from critical pedagogy and popular adult education. Performativity sits on the third level. Popular theatre processes stepped the pyramid to the next level and the top is comprised of Existentialism and absurdist theatre forms. Methodology: The methodology consisted of a performative inquiry that involved the staging of, and learning within, an absurdist popular theatre production. Instead of an “ideal” polished performance, with elaborate staging, a “rough” performance evoked questions, provoked meanings and generated new examinations. The research involved six stages - group formation, theatre “training,” performance development, presentation, post-production and social action. Results/Conclusions: i) Cast members appeared to become more autonomous, were focused on a task for an extended period, and reported encountering a more authentic (less psychiatrically constructed) view of self. They also became attuned to ways other individuals negotiate experiences within their lives. ii) Spectators generalized similarities and contradictions evoked by the play to other life-settings. iii) The author scrutinized his shifts in awareness as both facilitator and co-searcher. It was concluded that the disparity in understanding of what it means to be psychiatrically diagnosed by others in society remains deep; theatre offers an opportunity to interrupt this discrimination. Through the interactive popular performance experience, there was a lessening of fears and stereotyping that plague individuals labeled as “mentally ill.” This shift in the relationship between psychiatric survivors and others created an opening for group members to reconnect to local society as citizens."""@en ; edm:aggregatedCHO "https://circle.library.ubc.ca/rest/handle/2429/38343?expand=metadata"@en ; skos:note "RURAL ADULT POPULAR EDUCATION PERFORMATIVELY INQUIRINGINTO PSYCHIATRIC EXPERIENCESbySTEVEN EDWARD NOBLEB.A.A. (Honours) (Business) Ryerson Polytechnical University, 1986M.A. (Adult Education) University of British Columbia, 1998A THESIS SUBMITTED iN PARTIAL FULFILMENT OFTHE REQUIREMENTS FOR THE DEGREE OFDOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHYinTHE FACULTY OF GRADUATE STUDIES(Educational Studies)THE UNIVERSITY OF BRITISH COLUMBIAJuly, 2006© Steven Edward Noble, 2006ABSTRACTProblem: Psychiatrically diagnosed people living in rural Canada are often silenced orrendered invisible. Therefore, the purposes of this study were to: (i) disrupt “normal”ways of thinking about psychiatric diversity and (ii) create better relationships betweenpsychiatric survivors and other people. These aims were achieved by staging a populartheatre production in a chicken barn.Conceptual Approach: This study was located in a radical humanist framing of criticaladult education and social relations. Radical humanism foregrounds human subjectivityand is committed to social change. The conceptual framework supporting the study wasarrayed as a pyramid. Radical humanism envelops the structure. At the base, wereinsights drawn from critical disability studies and rural sociology. The second tier pulledfrom critical pedagogy and popular adult education. Performativity sits on the thirdlevel. Popular theatre processes stepped the pyramid to the next level and the top iscomprised of Existentialism and absurdist theatre forms.Methodology: The methodology consisted of a performative inquiry that involved thestaging of, and learning within, an absurdist popular theatre production. Instead of an“ideal” polished performance, with elaborate staging, a “rough” performance evokedquestions, provoked meanings and generated new examinations. The research involvedsix stages - group formation, theatre “training,” performance development, presentation,post-production and social action.Results/Conclusions: i) Cast members appeared to become more autonomous, werefocused on a task for an extended period, and reported encountering a more authentic(less psychiatrically constructed) view of self. They also became attuned to ways otherindividuals negotiate experiences within their lives. ii) Spectators generalized similaritiesand contradictions evoked by the play to other life-settings. iii) The author scrutinized hisshifts in awareness as both facilitator and co-searcher. It was concluded that the disparityin understanding of what it means to be psychiatrically diagnosed by others in societyremains deep; theatre offers an opportunity to interrupt this discrimination. Through theinteractive popular performance experience, there was a lessening of fears andstereotyping that plague individuals labeled as “mentally ill.” This shift in therelationship between psychiatric survivors and others created an opening for groupmembers to reconnect to local society as citizens.11TABLE OF CONTENTSABSTRACT.iiTABLE OF CONTENTS iiiLIST OF TABLES xLIST OF FIGURES xiGLOSSARY xiiPREFACE xxvACKNOWLEDGEMENTS xxviDEDICATION xxviiCHAPTER ONE OVERVIEW OF THIS INQUIRY 1Introduction 1Purposes 2The Question 2Mental Diversity 4Mental Identity 7Mental Voice 9Mad/Mental Pride 11Rural Life 12Transitions 13New Country 14Methodology 15Performative Inquiry 15Adult Education 17Popular Theatre 20Absurdism 21111Procedures.23The Researcher-Participant 25Overview Of The Dissertation 27Summary 29CHAPTER TWO PERFORMING INQUIRIES OF (IN)SANITY 30Introduction 30Radical Humanism 31Popular Adult Education 34Andragogy 35Popular Education 38Performative Inquiry 43The Biological Roots ofPerformative Inquiry 45Enactivist Roots 46Knowledge Reconceptualized 47Popular Theatre: Collective Meaning-Making 52Contemplating Popular Theatre 53Barba ‘s Approach 54The Popular Theatre Process 56Forms of Absurdity To Inform Life 60Existentialism 60Absurdism ‘s Forms 64Summary: Adult Popular Education Performatively Inquiring 69CHAPTER THREE PROCEDURES: FOOTPRINTS OF THE STUDY 71Introduction 71Gathering the Co-Searchers 71ivHow Insights Were Unfolded.77Stages in the Process 78Entering the Liminality of our Work 79Closing Our Threshold World 79Sources of Understanding 80Thoughts From the Field 81Conceptual Interpretation 81Cast Reflections 82Audience Reflections 83A Bare Wall For Enactive Interpretation 83Facilitator Reflections 83Emerging Possibilities 84Summary 85CHAPTER FOUR CHAOTIC COMPLEXITY: CO-SEARCHINGIN THE CROSSROADS 86Introduction 86Emergent Chaos as Home Place 86Ordered Chaos: Where the Study Resides 90The Vessel Holding Our Explorations 91The Emotional Walk 93Bodyguards 94Have You Seen My Friend 94Bombardment 94Complete The Image 97Making Sense of Where Lives (in Rehearsal) Traversed 99VThe Poultiy Barn .103Reflections, Interpretations, Possibilities 105Summary 114CHAPTER FIVE CAST MEMBERS’ EVIDENCE OF PERFORMATIVEINQUIRY 116Introduction 116Comprehending Voice 117Suicide 117The Pull ofthe Closet 119Struggles of Voice 120Speaking As Dangerous Practice 123Acceptance of Identity 126From Make-Believe Comes Experiencing Self 126Mutual Support 129Normalized Identity 131Positive Self To Integrate L4fe 133Co-Searchers ‘ Response to Negative Reaction 135Straightforward Success 136Power To Influence 137Acceptance ofRisk Opens to Sense ofAutonomy 139Tenacity As Power 140Power In Labelling 143Emerging Autonomy 145Emotional Power 148Power ofCreativity 148Putting The Pieces Together 151viSummary .153CHAPTER SIX COMMUNITY EVIDENCE OF PERFORMATIVEINQUIRY 155Introduction 155The Scream of Silenced Voices 156An Evening’s Entertainment 157Silenced Voices In A Small Town 158Hearing Voices 159Risky Speaking 161Through Humour Comes Self 161Recognizing The Other In Ourselves 164See The Human Beyond The Label 165Reaffirming Belonging In A Rural Community 165Creating Creative Identities 167Being Positively Committed 168Ableist Fear Ableist Denial 169Struck By Pride 172Confronting Normally -Normally Confronting 173Relationship of Power 175Power In Political Satire 176Power In Silence— Bodies Speaking 177Power Through Play... In Play...As Play 178Where There Is Power: Resistance 180Emotional Strength 181Summary 184viiCHAPTER SEVEN MY INTERSTANDINGS AND MOMENTSOF RECOGNITION 185Introduction 185Acts of Silence: Stillness As Voice 186Respectfully Challenging 187Borders and Internal Transgressions of Identity 189Beginnings 190The Aloneness OfThe Process 191“Lightening Rod” 192The Nature OfChange 193Jack OfAll Roles, Master OfNone 194Seeking Legitimacy 196Constructing Power During Transgression 196Popular Theatre As Oppression? 198Internal Power Struggles 199Control Versus Power 200A Cathartic Moment 201Transient Power 202Performative Power 203Facilitator As Mentoring Influence 204Power In The “Non-Visible” 206Subtle Influences OfRural Space 207Relationships Found Within Voice-Identity-Power 208Emerging Sense ofPower Within Performativity 209Summary 210viiiCHAPTER EIGHT PERFORMING LIFE AFTER LIVING AN INQUIRY 212Implications For Praxis 212Opening Up Spaces: Opening Up Voices 213Identity Formation 215Gaining Power 218Implications For Rural Theorizing 223New Rural Realities 223Community Development 225Citizenship Roles 226Implications for Performative Inquiry As Methodology 226Adult Education Praxis 226Performative Inquiry 229Popular Theatre Praxis 232Existentialist/A bsurdist Forms 233Therapeutic Praxis 233Further Research Program 235Summary 236REFERENCES 238APPENDIX A INTRODUCTION TO METHODOLOGICAL OVERVIEW .254APPENDIX B CONSTRUCTIONS OF DISABILITY ANDMENTAL DISORDER 261APPENDIX C RURAL DISCOURSES IN CONTEXT 279APPENDIX D ETHICS CERTIFICATES 298APPENDIX E NEWSPAPER ADVERTISEMENT 301APPENDIX F INFORMED CONSENT FORM 302APPENDIX G MENTAL SEEKING MENTAL 306APPENDIX H LISTING OF THEMATIC SCENES 307APPENDIX I NEWSPAPER REVIEW OF THE PLAY 317ixLIST OF TABLESTable 1 A Comparison of Knowles’ Andragogical Assumptions andPrinciples in Relation to the Research 36Table 2 Why Do Adult Education and Performative Inquiry Co-exist Well7 37Table 3 Connecting Freirian Adult Education Principles to PerformativeInquiry Methodology, Popular Theatre Methods, AbsurdistForms to SHAKEN. NOT DISTURBED 40Table 4 Delphi Technique Procedure 100Table 5 Cast’s Results of Its Performative Inquiry as Illustratedin the show “SHAKEN: NOT DISTURBED... with a twist. 106Table 6 A Listing of Aha Moments and the Exercises That Evoked Them 111Table 7 The Handout Provided in the Show’s Program WithRecommendations for Helping Mentally Disordered PeopleLive Better Lives 113Table 8 “Aha” Moments and Relationships to Voice, Identity and Power 220xLIST OF FIGURESFigure 1 The cast rehearsing in the gym 24Figure 2 The cast rehearsing in the barn 24Figure 3 Theoretical relationships incorporated within the study 31Figure 4 A map of social change and education theory and philosophy withinfour broad approaches and the relationship among them 33Figure 5 A continuum of structure in adult education 35Figure 6 A diagram of Freire’s culture circle 38Figure 7 A popular theatre cycle 58Figure 8 Showing the relationships of key theories during the weekly rehearsalsin connection with co-searchers’ lives 67Figure 9 The opening circle 77Figure 10 Analysis process of textual data 82Figure 11 Emotional walk 93Figure 12 Completing the image 98Figure 13 The cast setting up in the barn 104Figure 14 “Feeling” the barn space 105Figure 15 Emerging relationships of voice, identity and powerthrough performative inquiry/popular theatre in the livesof psychiatric survivors 153xiGLOSSARY OF TERMSDisabilityGlossary Term Glossary DefinitionCITIZEN/CITIZENSHIP Being a member of and included within a community.Allowed in to a community implies receiving or being granteda set of entitlements to legal equality and justice, the right tobe consulted on political matters and access to a minimum ofprotection against economic insecurity, while simultaneouslyrequired to fulfill certain obligations to state and society.(Cohen & Kennedy, 2000, p. 375.)“CLOSET” A notion drawn from queer theory whereby an individual witha marked, stigmatized and invisible difference can pass assomeone acceptable — usually the prevailing sense of“normal.” The walls become daily performances andutterances blocking outsiders from knowing a person’s fullsense of self but also inhibit the person in the “closet” fromconveying a more complete sense of being.COUCH SURFING The practice among individuals without a fixed home address,when they crash for a night or more at another’s house,sleeping most often on the floor or sofa.CRITICAL A theory seeking pathways of freedom for a particular group,DISABILITY THEORY in this case disabled people. Horkheimer (1982) also suggeststhree attributes for a critical theory: explanations as to what iswrong in society with regard to disabled people; identificationof changes in society able to occur for this group and;description of goals for social transformation. There also issome sense of normativity with regard to how criticism isconstructed.DISABILITY A disability is any restriction resulting from an impairment, ofability to perform an activity in the manner or within the rangeconsidered normal for a human being (Blocksidge, 2003;WHO, 1980)DISEASE Emanates from medical discourse. A pathological condition ofa body part or organ caused by the interplay of external andinternal factors (environmental, social, economic, viral, stressand bacteria expressed through a variety of symptoms. Oftenused synonymously with disorder (Blocksidge, 2003; WHO,1980).xliDISORDER Emanates from medical discourse. Often used synonymouslywith disease. A condition where there is a disturbance ofanticipated or expected physical or mental functioning. In thisway, the “cause” is in the reading and relying uponexpectations rather than comprehending another’s self. Thereis not an allusion to “natural order” or “normal” functioning.This concept places the “cause” in the body of the person readas abnormal.EMBODIED MENTAL This is a more enactivist interpretation of psychiatricDISCONNECTION “disorder.” A cause for how mental difference is “read” iswhat occurs between individuals. When one person isperforming in a particular way, and the observed action is readnarrowly by another, a mismatch of behaviour expectationsoccurs. Because of the unique cultural, class, gender,sexuality, experiential, etc. attributes of each personinteracting, inaccurate interpretations can lead to erroneouslypathologizing performances. The cause, rather than residingwithin an individual’s body emerges through relationships,performance expectations and interpretations of actionsobserved.HANDICAP A physical or attitudinal constraint imposed upon a personregardless of whether that person has a disability. Also, theloss or limitation of opportunities to take part in the normallife of the community on an equal level with others due tophysical or social barriers. (Blocksidge, 2003, p. 32).HOMELESS Three levels of homeless exist: those who are “literally”homeless, move in and out of “literal” homelessness on aregular basis, or “at risk” of becoming homeless. This studydraws upon all three because of the fineness of the lines (ifthey can even be defined neatly). The notion of “literally” hasseveral criteria, being a person who: (1) stayed overnight in ashelter designated for homeless people, runaways, orneglected or abused women; (2) sheltered at least one night ina house, apartment or room paid for with municipal,provincial or federal emergency housing funds; (3) livedovernight in a place not meant for human habitation (e.g., avacant building, a public or commercial facility, a city park, acar or on the street; (4) has a regular place to stay that is nottheir own (e.g., people who traded sexual favors for shelter orspent one night in a hotel or hospital); or (5) uses a soupkitchen or emergency food bank for the homeless population(City of Toronto, 1999, 2004)xliiIDENTITY “ERASURE” Others have not imagined that a person with mental disordershas a fully functioning and valued identity worthy ofunderstanding, i.e., those with mental disorders are managedas “things,” rather than related to as people with rich lives andexperiences. By ignoring a rich interior mental life springingfrom a defined sense of self, the result is the wiping away ofthis experience from an individual. Their disorder becomestheir identity.IMPAIRMENT Does have negative connotations among disabled peoplebecause there is attached a meaning of being “devalued,”“weak,” “damage,” and “less effective.” Within this study theword is narrowly defined to mean “inability” to perform inexpected ways.MAINSTREAM Social values espoused to be “most legitimate and valued”within society are those held by individuals who are male,straight, white, upper/middle classed, youthful, Christian,able-bodied, western, and married .. . or individuals who fallinto this strata of society.MARGINS/Borders The largest human social system is all of humanityencompassing the globe. Innumerable smaller networks andstructures exist within, i.e. trade zones, nations, states,provinces, cities, villages, towns, social groups culturalgroups, language groups and neighbourhoods, families,friendships, occupations groups, among others. Within each, asmall clique possesses most of the power and privilege; othershave little. They are either rendered non-visible or pushed tothe edges of a particular system. These margins are oftensocially and/or economically marked by disadvantage.Borders among these sub-systems mark those with advantageand those without. These boundaries are meant to keep “likegroups” together. In turn, crossing these frontiers, in eitherdirection, is difficult. Blurring the edges is enforced in subtleand coercive ways. It is with this in mind, that the study is anexample of border pedagogy envisioned by Freire (1970) andGiroux (1992).MENTAL IDENTITY How an individual envisions how one’s own sense of mentalliving and understanding contributes to a sense of self. Thisconcept is resonant with various queer identities’understanding their sexual selves and self-perceptions as theyexperience society and interactions with others.NON-VISIBLE A distinction is made between “invisible” which meanssomething or someone that simply cannot be seen — becauseof inability. “Non-visible” are things or people able to beseen, but the potential observer “chooses” (intentionally orthrough habit) not to see, i.e., many passersby “choose” not tosee panhandlers on the street.xivNORMAL The concept of “normal” is offensive when used in a contextcomparing “disabled people” with “normal people” since itimplies that disabled people are abnormal. The opposite ofdisabled is non-disabled (Blocksidge, 1995, p. 50). Narrowly,the word “normal” describes the “anticipated” or “expected.”This places the concept within the body-mind of an observerrather than in something “out there.” See embodied mentaldisconnection.NORMATE The constructed identity of those who, by way of the bodilyconfigurations and cultural capital they assume, can step intoa position of authority and wield the power it grants them(Garland-Thompson, 1997, p. 8).OTHERING To distance, silence, deny or dismiss aspects of selves that aredeemed peripheral, marginal, unimportant or worthless fromwithin cultural expectations and expressions (Pickering,2001).SOCIAL CENTRE Related to margins. A powerful group of institutions and/orindividuals who exert economic and social authority upon asociety for all members to conform to a constellation ofbeliefs, values, practices, morals, standards and habits deemedto acceptable and valuable to the interests of this centralinfluence. The processes used may be either hidden,observable or “non-visible.”POWER Within a systems-oriented, enactivist conception, the notion of“power” is one of having the ability to make decisions thataffect one or more within a social system. Power also isdefined by the ability and opportunity to gain entry andchange mechanisms of social system decision-making(Wartenberg, 1990).PSYCHIATRIC There is no attribution as to who coined this term; however, itSURVIVOR arose during the late 1 960s and the work of Howard Geld andhis founding of the Insane Liberation Front. Those who statethat their human rights were violated by mental health systemsuse the term. (MindFreedom, 2003; World Network of Usersand Survivors of Psychiatry, 2001)VOICE An intentional way to give expression for a person’s orgroup’s existence, needs, desires, identity in order to achieve aparticular goal, including legitimacy and acceptance.xvRural SociologyGlossary Term Glossary DefinitionAGRI..TOURISM The act of visiting a working farm for the purpose of enjoyment,education, or active involvement in the activities of the farm (Lobo,2005).COMMUNITY A group of individuals who inhabit some sense of similarity togetherand who identify themselves as such. This concept can evolvethrough some common geography, interest, experience, network,occupation and so on.FACTORY An agricultural enterprise that is corporately owned where there is:FARM separation of ownership, management and labour and in some casesfull or partial vertical integration. Also, these operations are markedby hundreds or thousands of head of stock housed in crowdedbuildings that are highly mechanized for efficiency of“manufacturing” “animal units” ready for “processing” (Bechthold,2005).FAMILY FARM An agricultural enterprise owned and operated by an informal system- either family or family corporation. Some or all of the family live onor near the farm they operate collectively. Also these concerns areusually much smaller than factory farms, with fewer animals, moreuse of pasture and a more relaxed regime for raising livestock.(Bechthold, 2005).“JUST-IN-TIME Comes from corporate re-engineering discourse whereby theAGRICULTURE” matching of production and service delivery processes to sales is doneto maximize resources without the danger of having stockpiles ofunsold merchandise tying up money. Within the agricultural sense, itis one of matching farm production dates (meat processing, farmproduce, growing seasons, etc.) to when corporate or institutionalbuyers want to purchase to maximize quality and efficiencies of thefarm system with the grocery retail system (Dial, 1997).RURAL For the purposes of this study the following all were used todetermine whether Cowichan Valley could be considered “rural.”. Most postal codes in the area have a “0” in the second positionfrom the left indicating a rural area.• Most people live outside settlements larger than 1,000 people.• Most people live outside the commuting zone of larger centers(larger than 10,000 people)• Most people live in areas where there are fewer than 150 peopleper sq. km. (OECD criterion)• More than 50% of people live in rurally designated areas withinthe region.• There are no urban centers with 50,000 people or more in theregion. (de Plessis, Beshiri, Bollman & Clemenson, 2001)URBAN Regions where at least half of the criteria listed in “rural” do notapply.xviAdult EducationGlossary Term Glossary DefinitionANDRAGOGY The art and science of teaching adults (Knowles, 1980).CODIFICATION Identifying part of larger theme into smaller parts and turningthese aspects into problems to be resolved. These are usuallydaily representations presented in some visual manner. Usuallythere are two phases of this in a cultural circle. The first isproblematizing, the second one is turning new learning intoaction by identifying what needs changing. (Freire, 1970, 1997).CONSCIENTIZATION An ongoing reflective practice that gradually moves anoppressed person or group toward cntical consciousness.(Freire, 1970, 1997)CRITICAL A never-completed goal that is always strived toward through aCONSCIOUSNESS process of conscientization. This aim is marked by ability tointerpret experiential issues in complex ways: test one sfindings, open to changing directions in resolution, avoidinfluences that distort and ability to hold both the old waysalongside the new ways of knowing (Freire, 1970, 1997).CULTURE CIRCLES A discussion group where educators and learners use a cycle ofcodifications and decodifications to identify social issues. Oncedone, then these aspects are interpreted or analyzed with a viewto finding ways to change, through collective social action(Freire, 1970, 1997).CULTURE OF Freire describes oppressed and alienated people as living withinSILENCE an environment where dominant or powerful groups do notrecognize, hear or see these groups. Authorities choose whatdisenfranchised groups will speak through the control of socialinstitutions. This influence silences the voices of excludedpeople from fully participating and being recognized citizens(Freire, 1970, 1997).DECODIFICATION This is the pulling apart or teasing open a codification to look atthe various influences that support the part of a generativetheme being examined. Also, as more codifications areidentified, decodification interprets how the relationships amongparts of the theme work together to create social oppression anddisenfranchisement. In the culture circle, the discussions are theprocess what helps to expose the sources and exercise ofrepression (Freire, 1970, 1997).DIALECTIC A dynamic tension existing within a system and the process ofchange that occurs as a result of the unease. While Freireenvisioned a discussion, Boal drew upon the interaction ofbodies in theatre to portray performatively the dialectics ofoppression. (Boal, 1974; Freire, 1970).xviiDIALOGICAL A process marked by the acceptance and collective roles withinMETHOD learning whereby teacher and learner are blurred and ofteninterchangeable among participants (Freire, 1970).FIRST LEARNING Often thought of as something children engage in. When aperson takes in new awareness or a “stopped moment ofrecognition,” there can be experienced a sense of disbelief orhesitation before allowing the knowing in, but then there iswonderment and fascination to explore more deeply.GENERATIVE Freire uses generative themes are complex codifications that areTHEMES broad in scope and usually identify big issues. For example, inShaken, a generative theme was “employment” but thencodifications that supported the theme included the El office,the El appeal panel, trying to fit into work places, being usedout and so on (Freire, 1970).MYSTIFICATION The process by which oppressive influences are disguised andhidden away in “normal social processes.” Simple explanations,disinformation and superficial myths are used to distortauthorities’ exercise of power. For example, in Shaken, the useof doctors stating their failed attempts at healing asylum inmateswas only because there efforts were utterly altruistic and inpatients’ best interest (Freire, 1970).PRAXIS A cycle of action, reflection, action. As an act is performed, theexperience of that performance is reflected upon, changes madeand additional engagement (Freire, 1970).Performative InquiryGlossary Term Glossary DefinitionAUTOPOIESIS A self-maintaining unity or system where the component parts arecreated internally. These are closed systems in that they can standon their own and can maintain themselves over time (Varela,Maturana & Uribe, 1974).BODY The physical and physiological presence of a person in space.BODY-MIND Two unities involving an individual co-exist. One is physical, theother is the interior mental life. In much Western thought, theseare examined as separate entities, one from the other. While theycan be understood as distinct, they both inform one another in amultitude of ways. Enactivist and performative inquirers envisionthis. As a result, the two unities describing physical and mentalare reconnected into a whole.xviiiMany definitions exist that all involve aspects of systems inCHAOS/EDGE OF constant, random change. Within these attributes others areCHAOS included here: a variety of influences and variables exert theirpresence in a variety of ways that cannot be predicted. Processesthat are evident are themselves open to change so as to appear indisarray or disordered, when actually there is a sense of unity thatcan arise over the long term, but cannot be recognized in the shortterm. Because of the constant flux and openness to the addition ortaking away of factors, these systems are not stable, but aredynamic to shifts in environments. Even the slightest of shifts canaffect dramatically as described by Lorenz’ s “Butterfly Effect”(Lorenz, 1996)COMPLEX Within complexity theory, a complex system is one where thevarious parts are not linked in a linear way whereby change to oneportion results in a counterbalancing shift in another. The twoparts come back to equilibrium. A non-linear or complex systemmeans that a change in one aspect does not result in seeking forrestored balance, but creates a ripple throughout the system inways not always foreseen.CO-SEARCHER This term was coined for this research. All who participated withinthis study were actively seeking out something together. The “co”aligns with the notions of co-llaboration and co-operation. Theseterms are enactivist in sensibility in that all who are engaged arepart of the whole environment at the same time.EMBODY Something given visible, physical form or expression.EMBODIED CAST Participants in this project are multiply “embodied” through theirbodies giving concrete expression of its voice, identity,experiences and presence.EMBODIED The total sense of being fully aware of one’s total emotional,CONSCIOUSNESS physical, rational, psychological, experiential, memory life in, andas part of, the world.EMBODIED Examinations that involve the entirety of physical interactions ofEXPLORATIONS whole bodies.EMBODIED Related to embodied cast with the addition that understanding thatLEARNERS participants are realizing in the experience of this study are beingphysically expressed through how they interact within their livesand changes they perceive to this.ENACTIVIST Sumara & Davis (1997) examine this notion from a desire to(Cognition/Learning) understand the “us/not us relation” (p. 415). Their wish is toforeground the ways individuals act out as a way to engage withothers. These processes for making sense are often left unnoticeduntil some event disturbs their non-visibility forcing recognition oftheir existence. Actions are seen as not reflective of interiormotivations, but are themselves understandings. Learning is not anindividual act but shared action.xixFELT This concept describes the occurrence of something that is notEXPERIENCE readily seen but instead is taken in by the body’s sensing. There isan interior responding to something by the body, without animmediate recognition of what (and often the brain cannot everadequately describe what has happened.) The body feels beforemental processing. This can be roughly equated to intuition,whereby, for example, the body feels threatened without anyapparent reason or an individual senses being excluded but cannot“put their finger on why they ‘feel’ this way.”FLOW Occurs when an individual is so completely involved in anactivity, that anything else that could compete is excluded(Csikszentmihalyi, 1998).FRAMED SPACE This is connected to the notion of “container.” Within populartheatre, performances often take place where people are. In orderto “carve out” an area to perform, there is a marking out throughvarious means to say: “For the moment this is going to hold anactivity a little separate from the everyday.” By doing this there isa focusing on what is occurring. Everything that brackets theperformance helps to frame the space to hold popular theatre.HABITUS An individual’s cluster of learned dispositions operatingconcretely as organizing principles for experiencing, evaluatingand living one’s daily life. One’s habitus organizes an individual’sliving practice, habit and everyday routine (Bourdieu, 2001;Fowler, 1997)INTERSTANDING Awareness that “falls out” or emerges between bodies interacting.Relating and inter-relating creates insights, rather than resides inan individual alone (Fels, 1998; Taylor and Saarinen, 1994)KNOWLEDGE Constructed as a verb rather than a noun as in: knowing is being isdoing (Davis, Sumara, & Kieren, 1996). Fels (1998) added“creating” and in this study “playing” is added. Rather thansomething to be found, knowledge is engagement.Drawn from the writings of Habermas, this concept includes manyaspects: one’s view of life, dynamics of daily participation, thecluster of implied assumptions to support one’s outlook, the stockof shared understandings (interstandings in this study), involvescommunicative rationality and action, self concept and a sense of“normed” and meaningful living. The power of the assumptions inone’s lifeworld is its taken-for granted quality. Rendering themvisible and known destroys their efficacy, such as the work doneby the cast in this study (Habermas, 1987).Likened to an “aha” moment in education. During performativeinquiring, an instant occurs when some passing awareness ariseswithin one’s body while fully engaged in an activity. Often theeffect is to startle one’s thinking and actions to stop and reflect.These instances open one’s self up to new potential andpossibilities for exploration (Fels, 2003, 1998).LIFEWORLDMOMENTS OFRECOGNITIONxxPERFORMANCE Is considered to be both thing and action at the same time and is“an action-space of creative critical interplay realized throughimaginative response and action” (Fels, 2003, p. 243). Alsoetymologically this is described as “through the destruction ofform we come to action” (Fels. 2003, p. 233).PERFORMATIVE “A (re)search vehicle that embraces performance through creativeINQUIRY action and interaction as a space-action of learning andexploration” (Fels, 1999, p. 33).PLAY A free and voluntary activity that occurs in a pure space, isolatedand protected from the rest of life. Play is uncertain because theoutcome may not be foreseen. It is governed by rules that providea level playing field for all players. Play involves responding to anopponents action and to engage with the situation as freely as therules allow (Caillois, 2001). There is an echo here withexistentialists who claim humans are “condemned” to be free, soare trapped. Games provide the same: participants are free to playbut are condemned to rules.RESEARCHER- This is my role as the facilitator and author within this study. I amPARTICIPANT researching a particular experience and am participating within theprocess. The cast are also included in this role, but from a differentvantage point. The group is exploring members’ lives aspsychiatric survivors through participating in a performativeinquiry. (See co-searcher)SPACE-ACTION As the term implies, the combination of two unities broughttogether to co-create one new whole. One’s action and interactionswith others occur within a particular environment. Within this,performative inquiry happens.STOP The moments within a performative inquiry when co-searchersoften literally freeze when there is an instant of indecision duringthe course of interactions.., when there is both a moment of riskand of opportunity (Applebaum, 1995).Popular TheatreGlossary Term Glossary DefinitionEXTRA- A performe?s physical and mental presence is modelled according toDAILY performance principles, which are different from those applied indaily life (Barba, 1995).FOUND Popular theatre often does not occur in a location specially designedSPACE for performing. Instead, performances go to where the people, whoseissue it is, can be found. Offerings can be set up in parks, underbridges, in the street or warehouses or as in this case, a poultry barn.Space is “found” that will suit the audience and what is to beperformed.xxiMETAXIS The state of belonging completely and simultaneously to two differentautonomous worlds: the image of reality and the reality of the image(Boal, 1995).POOR A presentation of theatre eliminating all non-essential productionTHEATRE elements, i.e., costumes, sound effects, makeup, sets, lighting, andstrictly defined playing area, in an effort to redefine the relationbetween actors and the audience (Grotowski, 1968).POPULAR Means relating to people, rather than something admired or known ina widespread way. Theatre that is popular is performance created bythe people, with the people, for the people and involves issues directlyaffecting the people (Kidd, 1980).POPULAR “a process of theatre which deeply involves specific communities inTHEATRE identifying issues of concern, analyzing current conditions and causesof a situation, identifying points of change, and analyzing how changecould happen and/or contributing to the actions implied” (Prentki &Selman, 2000, p. 8).“SATS” “In the instant which precedes the action, when all the necessary forceis ready to be released into space but as though suspended and stillunder control, the performer perceives her/his energy in the form ofsats, of dynamic preparation” (Barba, 1995, p. 42). It is the moment ofboth impulse and counter-impulse or holding counter actions togetherfor an instant.SPECT- A term coined by Boal (1974) whereby more active roles for audienceACTOR members is created so that spectators become actors within theunfolding performance, and, at times, some performers watch.Traditional roles of onlooker and doer become blurred.ExistentialismGlossary Term Glossary DefinihonANGST The freedom to choose causes fear — the terror of making the“wrong” choice and was said to comprise anguish, forelornness,despair with responsibility (Sartre, 1948, 1979).ALIENATION Alienation or isolation is said to be the essential existential state(Sartre, 1948). Existentialists construct the private self as closetedfrom public view. The closet, itself, is significant in its assertionabout the solitary condition of the individual (Camus, 1989, 1995).AUTHENTICITY Authenticity defines a condition on self-making. Do I make myself(being an autonmous subject), or will I become a reflection of theroles I find myself in through circumstances and people makingme (a dependent object) who I am (Camus, 1989; Sartre 1948).The “making” is what is important.... What I become is lessimportant than how.xxiiBAD FAITH Consists of an individual assuming a false sense of self. Thistaking on is not imposed from outside, but is a willing act ofaccepting a situation as fact on what the individual knows is faultyevidence: By treating oneself as a free person, s/he is no longerseen as an object (Sartre, 1948).BEING One’s perceived sense of self, existing within the larger world.EXISTENTIAL AND Refers to the being of an individual as one enmeshed andEXISTENTIALISM implicated with the larger lived world. Related to this notion isthat of “free will” whereby an individual is left in the world andthat person is left to “choose.” Each choice made reverberatesthroughout social systems that can “feel” the change. Each personhas the ability to decide what to do with his/her life, but these canbecome hidden through the use of various authorities’performances of intimidation and coercion. These actions “hide,”but do not erase, life decisions.FREE WILL The perceptual, cognitive, and emotional processes engaged inwhen presented with a choice. This choosing results in an intent toengage in one or more actions including inaction. Sartre stated thatwe are “condemned” to freedom, so how can it be called free?HYPERREALITY When an event or object is constructed as a simulation ofexperience to avoid the fact that the copy was of something thatnever really existed. (Baudrillard, 1995)MEANINGLESSNE Through the action of living the notion of everything being carriedSS out holds no significance. There is no “cause” for this, but is saidto simply be. This sense is thought to be permanent and affectsevery part of one’s life. Even structures used to create meaningcollapse (Tillich, 1952).POSTMODERN A philosophy emphasizing the importance of power relationships,identity and voice in the “construction” of meaning andperspectives toward life experience.AbsurdismGlossary Term Glossary DefinitionABSURDISM A philosophy, usually incorporated into various art forms,contending any attempt to understand the universe will fail. Theabsurd is a result of confrontations between human desires fororder, meaning, and purpose in life and the silent indifference ofthe universe (Camus, 1955).BLACK HUMOUR The dissonance between action and topic create a tension withinthe observer because the bleakness of an experience is taken to anexaggerated level as to create laughter, but the subject matterremains depressing.xxiiiCARNIVALESQUE These are themes relating to the circus, dramatically changingexpectations, and inverting taken-for-granted social relationships.The world turned topsy-turvy, destruction in order for creation tooccur. Seen as a form of resistance to the standard social order(Bakhtin, 1984).DECONSTRUCTION “Texts” create a one-dimensional view of the world and in sodoing silence various voices that are present. The result is one ofaudiences becoming tyrannized by a narrow view. Deconstructionis a reading of “texts” to tease out these hidden presences(Derrida, 1989).DISHARMONY Being that is incoherent, out of harmony, or in disarray. A state ofaffairs out of balance for taken-for-granted expectations.SATIRE Usually a style of writing with an aim to highlight the shortsightedness, weaknesses, or extravagances of another. The targetis often someone or group that has power. This study takes satireinto the theatre to perform, rather than write, about particulargroups of power affecting adults living with psychiatricdiagnoses.xxivPREFACEThis is an invitation to you, the reader, to enter a project involving a group of peoplelargely unimagined within society: psychiatric survivorship. To capture the journey ofworking performatively with individuals diagnosed with psychiatric disabilities, thisthesis is constructed in a particular way.This project is concerned with a small group of psychiatric survivors andcounsellors performatively exploring issues that related to the relationship betweenmainstream society and being perceived as “mentally different.” A show, entitled,Shaken: Not Disturbed... with a twist! was performed initially in a chicken barn and,again, at a local fringe festival to strong reviews. Language is always important, but inthis case I feel it is most critical because of the interdisciplinarity of the work. In order tonarrow the definitions of key terms used within the text, a lengthy glossary immediatelyprecedes this preface.There are two parts to this dissertation. The main text contains the particularity ofthe context and the practice relating to what occurred between September 2002 andSeptember 2003 in the town of Duncan on Vancouver Island. You will find in theappendices, in detail, the theoretical underpinnings, namely, broad methodologicalconsiderations, critical disability, rural sociology.A variety of approaches can be used when reviewing this dissertation. One canstart at the beginning and read it from front to back, as it is provided here. Another pathinvolves starting with the theoretical discussion in the appendices before proceeding towith the main text. Finally, a third is flipping between the body of the work and materialat the back, as impulses are evoked. Perhaps as one engages physically and mentally withthis text and the openness with which to read it, new meanings will arise.xxvACKNOWLEDGEMENTSPeople are always in the background helping and supporting a project of thisnature. Above all I have to — I want to sing out my praise to the best, most animated,dynamic, warm, fun, and lively bunch of actors a popular theatre worker could ever hopeto work with— and a group of the most understanding teachers in the area of mentaldisorder a fellow learner could ever wish to learn from. Each of you has become such animportant part of my own changes as I explore my own sense of place within this socialworld. My only hope is pathways remain open for you to continue growing, speaking out,engaging with life, and working toward a future of your making. With great hugs ofthanks: Lynn, Angela, Tamaira, Dale, Quentin, Marlene, Heather, Julia, Sherry, Jenny,Sam, Sarah, Donna, Aurora, Jay, Greg, Golda, and Diane. Also, many thanks to the staffand members at the Open Door Program in Duncan, BC, for allowing a stranger into theirmidst. I appreciated how welcoming and inclusive you were through the years of my“hanging around.” Thanks to Peter Rusland at the Duncan News Leader and Pictorial forbeing such an unabashed fan with the countless news stories and reviews of our progressand work. The town of Duncan British Columbia on Vancouver Island, thank you forbeing the ideal location and the most hospitable town, and for allowing me to enter andcarry out my research. Of course, thank you to the Cowichan Fairgrounds for lending usits poultry barn.Thank you to my committee who slogged through drafts of this work. Even whileI resisted at times and complained perhaps too much. . . .1 was learning... I have learnedgreatly from your collective experiences. Thank you: Jan Selman, Lynn Fels, LeslieRoman, Stephen Heatley, and Roger Boshier. I have to acknowledge some people who,from the shadows, quietly supported my work and cheered me on: Brian O’Neill, MaryPetty, and Cindy Patton, who always asked how I was doing through good times and notso smooth. My dear friends Cynthia Andruske and Valerie-Lee Chapman, in body andspirit, informed my writing in countless subtle ways. Even during some of your darkesthours, Cynthia, you were extremely helpful when reading over chapters and givingsuggestions. Valerie’s passing just prior to presenting this to my committee is bittersweet,in that we had plans to celebrate together one of the last of “our group” of studentsmoving on from Adult Ed/Ed Studies. Valerie is being missed everyday....And lastly, and most importantly, I want to thank Vincent — who has livedthrough my masters and now through years of driving carloads of props and castmembers to rehearsals and shows, navigating mountains of paper, helping in the panicthat is backstage, and months of writing: my doctoral journey. Whose relentless love andpersevering devotion and support has been the single greatest constant through this workand its frustrations, loneliness, joys, laughter, successes, and the process of living. Thiswork is as much yours as it is mine because you were always simply just you... .justthere.. . .and just patiently waiting in the wings.xxviDEDICATIONThis work is dedicated to the cast,their caregivers and loved ones.xxviiCHAPTER ONECONCEPTUAL OVERVIEW OF THIS INQUIRY“...then all ofa sudden people came and they sat around the garden and then we were standingby what we hadplanted and then there was a show and it was like nobody realized it until the endand we were like how ‘d that happen? “(TaIIuIah, Interview 6, P. 4).IntroductionThis report reflects a performative inquiry in Duncan, British Columbia (BC) involving agroup of psychiatric survivors, counsellors and me putting on a play entitled Shaken: NotDisturbed.... with a twist! (Shaken). This popular performance depicted the experiencesof living within a small town with psychiatric diagnoses. The work began in September2002 and concluded with performances, including one in a local poultry barn and severalat the town’s fringe festival. Twenty adult participants (between the ages of 28 and 62)explored their lives of mental marginality. The men and women participating were: twocounsellors, two counselling students, one adult with some theatre background, fourteenadults diagnosed with multiple mental disorder(s) (all from within the local mental healthsystem) and me as a researcher-participant. The adults within this work were embodiedlearners (see glossary) as well as performers and people searching to be full, participatingcitizens. Approximately 500 (out of a town population of 4500) attended the four shows.The following report includes theories supporting the work, the research process,occurrences and insights gained. This writing is an interdisciplinary work incorporatingtheories from critical disability, popular adult education, performative inquiry, absurdismand existentialism. To help the reader, a glossary is provided following the Listing ofTables and before this main text.1PurposesThe purposes of this study were to (i) disrupt “normal” ways of thinking aboutpsychiatric diversity by challenging prevailing notions of mental “illness” and (ii) createbetter relationships between psychiatrically diagnosed and other people. These purposeswere achieved by staging a theatre production in a chicken barn. This study examined therelationship of othering by exploring mental diversity. Specific intentions supported theseaims, namely:• revealing the basic capacity for power, expression of identity and need forvoice a group of psychiatric survivors embody when performing their livedexperience;• humanizing individuals and their experiences relating to living with and beinglabelled as “mentally disordered”; and• bridging different identity positions through commonality of experience.The QuestionKeeping in mind the challenges of living in a rural setting and the distorting influence ofauthorities, mentally marginalized individuals are often seen as “things” to bemanipulated by systems, rather than engaged with as part of society. Professionals imposepractices into the daily lives of the cast members restricting opportunity and expression.The potential for this study was its anticipated ability to interrupt and question taken-forgranted performed privilege. If a group enters a space to explore freely, in a performativemanner, its collective meaning from its own perspective, what awareness arises? Couldexaggeration, or “farce,” be used to absurdly deconstruct social messages and influences?In turn, could satire be a form of empowerment within an experience of theatre making?The following query is an engagement of these underlying questions and guide this study:2What shifts occur within a group ofrural adults living with mental disorder(s) as itdevelops andpresents an absurdist popular theatre community production?So... shifts in what? Three notions emerged through the research: identity, voice,and power. How were each of these notions envisioned within study? How were theyshaped as a result of the theatre work?Voice is an aspect of relating to others and a dynamic through which identityemerges. Within this study, the notion of uttering and naming one’s own experiencerelates to the qualitative performative act of speaking, as envisioned by feminism.Traditionally, voices to be heard have qualities of “authority” and “authenticity.” Often areason for silence experienced, by some women and men on the edge of society, is theyare constructed by others, and at times see themselves, as not possessing influence.Feminists suggest that voices heard typically are male ones: authoritative, power-full,force-full and strong (Belenky, Clinchy, Goldberger & Tarule, 1997; Estrem, 1997).Within this study, voices in all their diversity found space to speak from the authenticityof lived experience.Identity, historically, was something traditions, family relationships, occupationsand stories helped to shape. Often, in the case of psychiatric survivors, these forces areminimized or removed. To replace these absences, often the media, medical authoritiesand experience shape a mentally diagnosed person’s view of one’s self. Identity is areflection of how a person is treated by others and is a response to this. Knowing one’sself is inherently found through and within relationships.Power, as it was understood within this work, relied upon the work of Foucault(1980) and his connection of power with knowledge. Broadening the definition, he3examined both overt and covert dynamics of power. For example, rituals can beconsidered as overt symbols, which signify power (Bell, 1995). Less considered is thatthese rites serve additional purposes: ways of creating and maintaining authority. Medicalprofessions and institutions, in particular, mould the lives of psychiatric survivors. Ritualsand their relational power are key aspects for the maintenance of the roles of powerfulpsychiatrist and disempowered patient.Throughout this research, opportunities arose to deepen the understanding ofvoice, identity and power, in relation to one another. These underwent shifting andreshaping through experiences of intentionally performing. The relative safety of thetheatre space provided an opportunity to open up relationships of identity, voice andpower.Mental DiversityThe World Health Organization (WHO, 1980) has claimed 450 million people areaffected by mental, neurological and/or behavioural “problems” at any one time. As of1990, five of the top ten “burdens” of disability (for established market economies) werepsychiatric disorders: uni-polar depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, alcoholismand obsessive-compulsive disorder. As the world’s entire population continues to age,WHO expects the incidence of mental “disorders” to increase. Canadians living withmental “illnesses” form one-fifth of the country’s population (Statistics Canada, 2002a).Compared to other social issues, mental health has remained one of the most underresearched areas.Mentally disordered people, living in rural areas, face challenges; some issuessimilar to those of their urban counterparts, others unique. First, deep conservatism is4prevalent in small towns and among farming families. Rural people tend to be cautiousbecause of the immediate effect and unpredictability of nature. Many traditions tied toclimate and the land, have existed for generations. These individuals use their customs asa way to forge stability. Prudence, related to nature, has over centuries, translated intosocial conservatism.Transportation networks remain inadequate or non-existent in rural areas. Manypeople living with mental disorders are not able to drive. It is for individuals diagnosedwith psychiatric disorders to work because many of them do not travel far by themselves.Many are not allowed or able to drive. The predominant employment in the local area iswithin the low-waged retail and hospitality sectors. These jobs are generally part-timeand involve shift work. Many employers stereotype disabled people. Their credentials orwork experience becomes suspect as less legitimate than “normal” people’s. Landlordsblock adults living with mental disorders from stable housing, so that many are forcedinto transitory housing and homelessness. Shelter is a chronic issue for all mentallydisordered individuals; however, greater concentrations of social housing and relatedservices exist in cities. In Duncan, BC, for example, few social housing units exist. Studyparticipants pay the prevailing rents. Due to the relative lack of emergency shelters(currently none exist in Duncan), those without homes sleep outdoors or sojourn amongfriends’ homes. Accurately understanding the extent and dynamics of homelessness andinadequate housing remains difficult because of “couch surfing,” whereby otherwisehomeless individuals “crash” on friends’ floors.Government disability payments are below the poverty line and these rates areunder attack (Roman & Salmon, 2003; Zingaro & Tom, 2003). Food banks and soup5kitchens are more commonly found in cities. Duncan has one food bank expected toservice the immediate area of 30,000 (This local food bank has experienced a doubling inthose reliant on its services from 2001 to 2004 (Bainas, 2004). Intermittent “soupkitchens” are set up, predominantly around holidays. Pawnshops experience a cyclicalpattern of buying and selling. Psychiatric survivors buy possessions from these storesafter disability and welfare payments are received and later sell them back in order tostretch money through a particular month.Financial supports for local poor populations are minimal and spotty at best. TheCowichan Valley has one of the highest rates of reliance on the social safety net in BC(Ministry of Labour and Citizens’ Services, 2004). In addition, a large, local First Nationspopulation also is experiencing high levels of poverty. Within cities more and wealthierpeople donate to charities. In Duncan, the town relies on fewer and relatively poorerpeople to support non-profit agencies. The town’s volunteer centre had much of itsprovincial funding cut during the project, severely hampering people in need (CowichanCitizen, 2004).Authority for managing the dependency of those who are psychiatricallydiagnosed rests with professionals who “gate-keep” opportunities that could lead intocorporate, government or not-for-sector opportunities. Control of individual castmembers understood his/her identity is held by others. The exercise of coercive powermarks these relationships and silences the voices of the repressed. Participants said theywere commonly told by experts and those with influence that steps taken for their weredone “for their own good.”6Mental IdentityCentral to the construction of mental identity is the fiction of mental “illness.” To date,no definitive biological causes for mental disorders exist (Szasz, 1994, 2000). Historiesdocumenting mental diagnoses suggest an evolution in the identity of adults living withmental diversity. From ancient times to the Middle Ages, mental “difference” wasidentified as a sign of divine intervention. Later, in the Middle Ages, “abnormal” peoplewere viewed as “possessed” by demonic spirits (Porter, 1987, 2002). In the early 1 700s,“abnormal” people were viewed as “animal-like.” Not until the I 800s was therecontemplation of psychiatric labels. It would be a hundred years after that, that theselabels would be theorized as significantly informing and attaching themselves to people’sidentities. This evolution transpired with the creation of asylums and emergence of “maddoctors.” Prior to this, “blame” for mental disorder arose through a combination of divineforces and character “flaws.”Through the late 1800s, particularly influenced by Galton’s (1883) eugenic“science” and Freud’s (1986) psychoanalysis, a person’s identity as mentally impairedwas constructed by biology instead of divine intervention or weakness of character. Withthe rise of statistical analysis, the cultural artefacts of “normalization” and “socialdeviance” came into being. The dynamic of psychiatry drew upon physical medicalscience for a source of legitimacy. As a result, a biological focus for the determination of“mental deviant” emerged. The biological model defined mental disorders as “personaltragedy” or pitiable identity (Foucault, 1965).Throughout the 1 970s and 1 980s, thousands of asylum and hospital inmates werereleased for compassionate, but largely financial reasons (Turner, 2004). Moving a7population, after spending decades in a “protected” environment into another threateningand foreign one without support, put individuals in significant upheaval and turmoil.Now, individuals with mental diagnoses often live non-visibly (By that I mean, despitethese individuals living in doorways passers-by choose not to “see” these people).After social liberation struggles led by women, Blacks and sexual minoritiesduring the 1960s through the 1980s, a new struggle emerged: disability rightsmovements. With this shift arose critical disability theory, discourse and writing.However, much theorizing focussed on physical impairments, disabilities and learning.Psychiatric impairment was subsumed under physical disability and, therefore, silenced.In 1993, in Toronto, Ontario, the first MAD Pride or Psychiatric Survivor Pride Day tookplace. The million plus Gay Pride Day celebrants in Toronto that year inspired the MadFestival to take place a few months later. From a small beginning of 200 people inToronto, by 2005 MAD Pride Day was celebrated on four continents (MindFreedom,2003). Being reflectively seen by the individual and read as legitimate by others was amore recent occurrence.For many people living with psychiatric impairments, their families, friends,caregivers, social workers, and psychiatrists, in particular, manage and construct theirworlds and perceptions of self. Those living with psychiatric impairments face severerepression because of non-conformity to what “sane normates” wish (Garland-Thompson,1996, 1999, 2002). Ever-increasing numbers of medical and social work professionalsreduce a psychiatric survivor’s “being” to the workings of his/her brain. Many authoritiesdeem having a rich interior life irrelevant. To erase unique identity, the universalapplication of “sick” is now the defining attribute. Labelling of mentally diagnosed8individuals as “different” or “abnormal,” often leads to pathologized and devalued sensesof self. With this deep “lack,” individuals experience low self-esteem and confidence.Furthermore, they do not believe in their ability to live as fully functioning and valuedcitizens. Today’s critical writers and theorists focus on mental pride, while encouragementally diagnosed individuals to move beyond survivorship toward full citizenship(Barton & Oliver, 1997; Garland-Thompson, 2003; Shakespeare & Corker, 2002;Shakespeare & Watson, 2001). Recognizing one has merit goes part way toward the goalof full acceptance and inclusion. The missing factor is the ability to vocalize and performone’s identity within the public realm.Mental VoiceThere are many Canadians who are told by policies, institutions, laws, rituals, and peoplethat those with mental differenceDo notfitDo not belongHave less value.(Noble Notes, p. 93)Disempowered social groups include women, sexual minorities, First Nations, visibleethnic minorities and most disabled people. The participants of this study are a subgroupof the last category: people living with psychiatric diagnoses.Research is done about people living with psychiatric diagnoses. However, scantresearch exists about these individuals living active roles within the community. Tocounter this gap, disability theorists increasingly demand a more active voice for thosestudied (Beresford & Wallcraft, 1997).9Experiences and histories of “hiddenness” exist within those rendered non-visible.This has blinded society’s awareness of the identities of psychiatric survivors.’ Like the“sexual closet,” the “mental closet” has emerged because of individuals’ reaction tobecoming known as “stigmatized others.” Like the “sexual closet,” walls of social stigmaare reinforced by self-imposed shame. Speaking out often creates an expectation ofstigma. Rather than face ridicule and shame, many people prefer to remain silentbelieving the closet is a “safer” place.Those surviving psychiatric care have largely had to struggle alone. However,since the late 1 970s, organized groups living with disabilities have given voice to theirhistories, stories and futures. One of the most important spaces has been within the arts —notably theatre. Most of these artistic efforts rested with theatre companies that wereworking within disabilities or targeting physical or learning arid developmentalimpairments. Until the late 1 980s and early 1 990s, no theatre company had dedicateditself to psychiatric impairments. Today these companies include: since 1987, Toronto’sWorkman Theatre Project (2005) and since 2004, Ottawa’s Stigma Busters (2005)Productions. The most recent addition to the MAD Pride Celebration is the Mad PrideInternational Theatre Festival (MindFreedom, 2003). The celebration is run by aninternational coalition of mental survivor organizations. From celebration of one’s“mental pride” comes a moment to develop research investigating diverse lives of mentalminorities. This thesis reflects a continuation of recent initiatives.The group coming together for this study inadvertently became part of a muchlarger gathering voice speaking out about its own stories of oppression. MindFreedom’s10(2003) mission statement maintained: psychiatric survivors want to help themselves byhelping disempowered others through larger coalition systems...In a spirit of mutual cooperation, MindFreedom leads a non-violentrevolution offreedom, equality, truth and human rights that unites peopleaffected by the mental health system with movements for justiceeverywhere (p. 1).Shaken: Not Disturbed... with a twist! marked a small episode of finding voicewithin a mainstream filled with vested interests. Like many disempowered groups,psychiatric survivors work together to develop the confidence to speak with others.Mad/Mental PrideBy coming together and exploring their lives, psychiatric survivors can find ways to beheard. A sense of personal and group power unfamiliar to them evolves through thisemerging identity and rising voices. This newfound autonomy can then create uncertaintyand sows seeds of disempowerment for fear of disturbing mainstream relations. The castof this study decided to meet this challenge by performing publicly. This group’stransgression, “coming out” of the “mental closet,” was more profound because it choseto speak directly against authorities: psychiatrists, social workers, family members andthe general public. These people have the power to commit, decree (ab)normalcy,withhold care and support and enforce drug taking. This cast pushed against the statusquo using its lived stories. Through re-enactments of their moments of social exclusion,stigmatization, and oppression for being “different,” the cast’s message was simple: Thestigma had to end. The play’s lessons deconstructed the mainstream’s values aboutpeople with mental diagnoses. The group’s embodied stories carried its own authority.11Speaking from a place, formerly of silence, renders a voice a blaring trumpet. The cast’smessage was powerful.The individuals in this study were survivors. Within the disability movement,survivor is the preferred term. To survive means to live beyond. . .but to outlive or liveoutside what? A barrier?The handicap isthe attitude ofa persistently ableist society.Rural LifeThirty percent of the Canadian population and 15% of British Columbia’s (StatisticsCanada, 2001, 2002b) live outside urban and suburban settings. Despite this, much socialtheory remains within an urban bias. When researchers rely on conceptions contrivedwithin “the metropolis” as common sense across all experiential settings, imaginescountry and city environments as interchangeable. Urban messages that can confrontrural sensibilities include: “(hu)man over environment,” money as a measure of success,progress at all costs and abstract thinking over traditional practice.The importance of focussing on rural environments and perspectives on theory issignificant for broadening notions of “community” and “society.” Today, rural areas stillhave a largely intact social fabric (Carter, 1999). Their compactness can magnify theeffects of events. As a result of our theatre group’s play development and performance inDuncan, BC, wanted to talk to the cast members frequently about our work. From theseconversations came new opportunities to inform their work on the play. Through theintimately interconnected nature of the small town, many opportunities for dialogue andexpanding relationships occurred. Unlike the anonymous hiding away of individuals inlarger urban centres, the population of a rural town knows one another. Because of close12relationships, change within a country setting can be challenging, yet it generatesresponses quickly. Outsiders are often not welcomed, so cultural workers coming to “fix”local issues are not generally well received.In times of strife, a rural population often pulls together in quintessentially humanways (Fellegi, 1996; Miller, 2001). A strong sense of home, belonging,interconnectedness and reciprocity among neighbours exist: these values buoy periods oftrouble. This ethic of care occurs in cities as well. The difference is that in the country,friends, neighbours or family members are likely to be tending to one another, whereas inthe city often it’s strangers helping strangers. Emotional distance is more likely to bemuch shorter, more intimate and strongly felt within a rural setting. The rationale forworking there, in a more rural setting, was to illustrate how a country environmentinfluenced and informed experience. Like much in this research, the locale was hiddenwithin unimagined margins. Focussing on the rural environment and the effects ofcountry thinking on theory were keys to broadening and deepening the ideas of“community” and “society.”TransitionsHistorically, an important reason for supporting farmers and rural people was populatingthe large expanses of Canada. Within the past 15 years, rural regions have experiencedmajor social, economic and political transformations. For decades, Canada’s countrysiderelied on government subsidies and other financial supports to moderate theunpredictability of farming (Boyens, 2001). However, within the last decade, drivenlargely by international trade agreements, financial supports to farmers were declared13unfair. As a result, payments were dramatically reduced. Canada leads the way in thesereductions (Boyens, 2001).Simultaneously, as resource sectors experienced bankruptcies and foreigncompetition, price shocks and labour disruptions followed. This economic turmoilaffected small towns dramatically as they were built to service the stable workforces inthe resource sectors. Depleted fish stocks, lumber tariff wars, incursion of the mountainpine beetle, forest fires, Mad Cow disease, Avian flu, closed mines: these were some ofthe reduced economic and social supports for rural areas. Local populations continue tostruggle to survive.New CountrySmall towns are now wired into a global marketplace. New influences creep into thecountryside. Minimum-waged, low-skilled retail and tourism positions flourish, insteadof old high paying resource sector jobs. For farmers and migrant workers, intermittent,minimal and constantly tightening government support is all that is available. Globalforces prey on local markets. Niche marketing, “just in time” service delivery and multi-use products are the norm (Drabenstott, 2004). The local valley is now a global marketbrand. The region’s logo is meant to be synonymous with its rural products and “agritourism” destination specializing in culinary tours and farm vacations. Increasing relianceon the Internet marks the need for creating “experiences,” services and products. Withdiminishing populations in rural areas, small towns once needed to service agriculture aredying. Unlike elsewhere in British Columbia, no ghost towns exist in the CowichanValley because mountains and hilly terrain keep farming ventures small. These14“boutique” farms specialize in rare herbs, emus, bison and alpaca. Local wineries andcideries offer culinary tours, lodging at farms, sightseeing at local farmers’ markets anddining.While all seems well in the region, some significant challenges have emerged.Crystal meth is entering Cowichan schools. Break-and-enters and high levels ofvandalism are due to increased drug addiction. Tugs of war abound between new andentrenched ideas. The local valley’s population is split between those with progressiveideas, represented by recent arrivals and those with more entrenched conservative fromdeep roots of local tradition. Tension tears at the social and economic structures andresources. A way for those spoken about needs to be found so their needs, ideas anddesires can be expressed. Lost in the struggles are the experiences of psychiatricsurvivors.Methodology: Performative InquiryA method of expressing identity and experience, through “voice,” that would fit a ruralsetting had to be found. The research approach relied on was performative inquiry (Fels,2003, 1999, 1998). According to the systems-oriented work of Varela and Shear (2000),Varela, Thompson and Rosch (1992) and Maturana (1988) and enactivists Sumara andDavis (1997a, 1997b), performative inquiry focuses on the body-mind (Hocking, Haskell& Linds, 2001) connection within the process of generating new awareness. Throughspontaneity, as found within random and intentional play, knowledge is in theinter(re)acting of bodies. “Interstandings” are those insights emerging throughrelationships (Fels, 1998; Hocking, Haskell & Linds, 2001; Taylor & Saarinnen, 1994).To generate embodied consciousness, individuals are in motion: creating, performing,15being, doing, becoming. I add playing. Complexities are embedded in each of theseactions, especially when each person engages interactively and holistically with anothercomplete individuals. Interpretation occurred. Within performative inquiry, it isexpression and interpretation that inform acts. This research process relied on play as actsof knowledge.Performative methodology lives with ambiguity. The result of individuals’ dailyinteractions is often not readily available in articulate thought. What is stored, hidden inbodies, is teased out through motion and the expression of emotion. Within thecomplexity of living bodies remains a degree of uncertainty and randomness. Further,complexity is added when the number of interacting human beings is increased. Aheightened sense of risk opens up the need for a broadening of the flow of power amongthe embodied learners. Taking “leaps of faith,” which is not what I expected, requiresfostering an environment of exchange, collaboration and risk (Sumara & Davis, 1 997a).A process of knowledge and shared insights emerged through the group’s performativeexplorations. Transformations created interactivity and involvement among castmembers. As Fels (2003) explains,If we imagine imagination as cognitive action-interaction, a birthing andrebirthing simultaneously withinform and the destruction ofform, then wefind ourselves in an unexpected space between structure and chaos— aspace which complexity theorists call the ‘edge ofchaos‘...(p. 234)As embodied explorations deepen, sporadic and seemingly disconnected“turnings” or “aha” instances emerge as “moments of recognition” (Fels, 2003, p. 235).During these moments, insights are sparked. At times, the value or recognition of theinsight is not clear until further reflection. A pathway of experience is traced throughdiscrete clarifring moments of “aha” or “recognition.” These turning points are moments16for gathering clues leading to further options for exploration. Rather than narrow to ananswer, performative inquiry continues to open options for new awareness.As can be seen already, a few bits of performative inquiry exist in thiswriting.. .with the use of active and performative prose. In order to capture theunexpected moments within performative inquiryP1 nguthere are twinklings of instances that are recreated among these pages to give you asense of those insights as though they occurred for the first time. These “moments ofrecognition” are shown in both italics and word placement on the page, in order tofacilitate reading and thinking in more engaging ways. Through playing with words andspace in a play-full way at key spots, the normative reading of the page gives way tounpredictability, which is what occurs in an embodied way within performative inquiry.One’s imagination is critical within this work. And as the cast found out, so is the abilityfor playful spontaneity.Knowledge shifts to being a verb, not a noun (Fels, 1998, p. 30), and an act ofconjuring awareness among individuals. Learning by doing, through performing, allowsknowledge arising between bodies to inform past practice, while enabling rehearsals forfuture action.Adult EducationEvery social action group should at the same time be an adult educationgroup, and I go even as far as to believe that all successful adulteducation groups sooner or later become social action groups (Lindeman,1945, p. 5).Lindeman’ s (1929) view of education falls outside formal instruction within institutions.Many later popular educators resonated with what he wrote. As one of the earliest adult17educators at the turn of the twentieth century, Lindeman imagined adult education asbeing life. All of living is a constant sense of learning and understanding. Individualscannot stop the act of “taking in.” He saw adult education as being non-vocational innature. Nor is it driven by subjects, but by situations. Because of this latter point, adulteducation’s chief resource is experiences. Education is life; life is education.Twenty-four years later Knowles (1950) wrote about informal adult education asinformed by Lindeman’s earlier theorizing. Knowles examined informal adult learning.He believed adults needed to fully understand themselves. At the same time they neededto accept and respect who they were as individuals and their daily adult roles. To bemature, people needed to develop an attitude of acceptance, respect and love towardsothers. Many diverse people inhabit this world. If individuals cannot empathize withdissimilar beliefs or approaches to living, then a lessened ability to truly take in thecomplexities of the social world occurs. A constant in living and life is change.In adult education, curiosity and what I call “first learning” (as in seeingsomething in awe for the first time) is a requirement. Rather than be satisfied with seeingsymptoms, society needs to understand causes within social relations. Individuals need todig deeply beneath the surface of interactions to get at the impulses behind actions. Thisexcavating is a key strength of performative inquiry.During the late 1 960s to early 1 980s, popular and critical educators wroteprolifically in order to highlight schooling’s “neutrality.” Freire (1970), most central ofall, spoke of cultures of silence, cultural circles and teaching with an aspect of love andhope. Like Lindeman (1945, 1929) and Knowles (1950, 1980), Freire wrote aboutinformal adult education (1970, 1985, 1997). This radical and anti-oppression educator’s18purpose was to liberate disempowered people through more balanced power withinparticipantlfacilitator relationships. While learners’ situations were studied, theyidentified their own needs. Other aspects of Freirian consciousness-raising educationinclude group participation in the planning process, addressing social action andrecognizing the community where learning occurred. Isolated from daily routines, aritualistic separated space is entered into for engaging in popular adult education. TheFreirian cultural circle is an example. Generative thematic work carried out in thesespaces explores the surface of social life to awaken a critical consciousness. Freire (1973)focused on praxis, or reflective action. This practice, guided by reflection, brought aboutthrough raised awareness for one’s improved life circumstances and potential.For centuries, part of theatre’s focus, particularly folk dramas and popular theatrewas to lay bare social power and interests being played out within society. A number ofcritical educational writers continue to tease apart sociological understandings relating tosocial and economic inequities. For example, Illich (1973) was critical of the institutionof schooling as noted by the following: institutionalization of learning and the need forconviviality, which is the “autonomous and creative intercourse amongpersons and theintercourse ofpersons with their environment” (p. 24). Today, 30 years later,performative inquiry re-envisions these concepts. The impulses of other criticaleducationalists, including Shor (1987, 1992, 1996,), McLaren (1995, 1999), Giroux(1997, 2001), hooks (1994) and Apple (1999), resonate with the view of adult educationtaken within this performative research.19Popular TheatreWithin this inquiry, the practice of popular theatre and the symbolism of absurdism wereincluded to deconstruct taken-for-granted community beliefs, values and elite power,particularly relating to the experiences of psychiatric survivors. Satire played, ironically,within lives lived through mental diversity and disorder. By reversing the traditionalresearch relationship of the social centre examining marginalized circumstances, non-visible distortions in taken-for-granted relationships were revealed. The study’s cosearchers found the process of critiquing the mainstream a source of strength to form anddeepen group and individual identities. Marginalization, based on psychiatric diagnosis,has historically constructed an opposition to prevailing notions of “normal” sanity.“Madness” and “sanity” created oppositional versions of the other. Mental norms areproducts of demographic and experiential backgrounds and beliefs of prevailing social,economic, legal and medical powers.Drawing on popular theatre, this production placed embodied learning among thepeople. In popular education’s fashion, explorations of disempowerment and oppressionwere carried out by the people and for the masses (Filewod, 1987, 1989; Kidd, 1980;Selman, 1987; Spry, 1994). Rather than focussing on an end product, this process ofpopular theatre raised critical social awareness through theatre making, (Prentki &Selman, 2000).Within this study, the cast sought an increased engagement with and enactiveform of citizenship. Popular theatre, and its attachment to oppressed people, lent itselfwell to a group of psychiatric survivors, as they had lived through regimes ofcategorizing, measuring, closeting, controlling, reducing and erasing humanness. Bodies20and selves are reconnected through performance. Moreover, co-searchers can learn tocommunicate and make sense with and through relationships. Part of the process ofpopular theatre is the performing of group discoveries to communities (Bappa &Etherton, 1983; Selman, 1987) to deepen the process of learning for the cast. At the sametime the cast educates others about marginalized lives. Frequently, popular theatre drawson an ethic of poverty (Grotowski, 1968). The concept of “poor” does not meanimpoverishment of aesthetics, ideas or lived experience, but a lack of extravagantproduction elements for performances. Elaborate theatre staging is thought to limit theimagination, rather than free it. Limited numbers of props, sets and costumes are reliedon in symbolic ways. Meaning emerges through relationships of a few objects and peopleon stage. For this reason, popular theatre relies on the audience’s and cast’s imaginationsfor the negotiation of meaning. This type of theatrical experience is drawn from thestories, experiences, awareness and insights from “the people” as the cast represents(Kershaw, 1992).A bsurdismThe roots of absurdist forms stem from Dadaism and surrealism. However, notionssupporting disharmony stray further back to Kierkegaard’s (Malantschuk, Hong & Hong,2003) ideas of living aesthetically or of living ethically. Essentially, this means that livingaccording to duty inevitably results in the compromise of one’s “true” self and so isultimately meaningless. Sartre (1946, 1948, 1976) and Camus (1955) support much ofwhat absurdism tried to make concrete. Existentialist thinkers suggest humans have freewill. Daily living involves choices. Making decisions creates stress. Each timeindividuals choose, negative consequences occur. Sometimes these are known, but often21they are hidden. Not everything encountered in our lives can be explained. Rather, theyappear absurd or off-kilter. When an individual makes a decision, he or she must carryout what is decided in order to work toward living authentically. Because humans, often,do not follow these decisions, once made, lives often end up lived in bad faith orinauthentically. Living is ultimately without meaning and, so, absurd. Postmodernismand its hyper-reality serve to make life decisions more frenetic and out of control and,potentially, more meaningless.Artaud (1970), a key impulse for absurdism’s evolution, spent much of his life inasylums. However, it was Esslin (1961) who coined the term “theatre of the absurd.” Hedid this to “lump” together disparate artists (playwrights, actors, directors). These peoplerarely collaborated, socialized or interacted. Absurdism is included within this studybecause of its ability to make assumptions held by mainstream authorities visible. In turn,performative inquiry and popular theatre can play with and open these presuppositionsfurther. Absurdism is a deconstructive reading of a seemingly pointless world from thevantage point of outsiders looking in. However, it is within chaos that order is found.Absurdism, like performative inquiry, lives on the border between order and mayhem; it“violently” (Artaud, 1970) pokes fun in a “carnivalesque” fashion (Bakhtin, 1984).Disharmonic theatre forms include an anti-realistic aesthetic filled with harshsounds, darkness, music and no overriding plot. Snippets of life are strung together inapparent randomness. “Meanings” are left to the audience. Everything holds potentialsignificance: from the location and structure of the building, to the space, the action andother audience members. Nothing in the performance suggests a specific place, time orspace to contextualize the action. To heighten the sense of mundane awareness, much of22the action is ritualized and repetitive; there is a sense of being is locked in with noescaping. Black humour, or the dissonance between action and topic, creates tension asthe bleakness topic is exaggerated to evoke laughter. As a result, the subject matterremains depressingly stark. All of this fits comfortably with lives trapped by the mentalhealth system.ProceduresFrom the theory briefly described in the previous pages, a set of procedures unfoldedwhile carrying out this research. The “trapped” quality of living with mental diagnosescan lead to lives filled with cycles of unending negativity and oppression. How can thisgroup of co-searchers “open” these repetitions to inform their senses of self?During nine months, the cast met once a week for approximately two and a halfhours. The time was split three ways. During the first half hour, members mutuallychecked in with one another (including me) and engaged in movement exercises(including yoga and/or dance). The middle period, approximately 90 minutes, involvedplaying theatre games, learning about theatre, or creating performance pieces for a show.The closing moments of each session were spent “cooling down.” This involved guidedmeditation and reflective thoughts.The period leading up to the performance was split into roughly equal thirds. Thefirst three months developed a cohesive group by playing theatre games and engaging inexercises. The second period blended playing with learning about theatre and elements ofperformance. The last period involved creation of performance elements and a publicproduction in May 2003. The work was remounted in September of the same year for thelocal fringe festival.23Throughout the time spent with the group, research activities within thisperformative inquiry included writing reflective field notes after each session. Occasionalpictures were taken at rehearsals (Figures 1 and 2). Two sets of interviews withindividual cast members were completed at the beginning and end of the process.Audience members were interviewed shortly after the first show. Videotapes of the mainshow and fringe production were made.Recording rehearsals, interviews, performances, casual conversations and takingfield notes captured experiences as they unfolded. Themes emerged within theperformative inquiry as they related to the three key elements under study: identity, voiceand power. These notions slowly appeared through role playing, dancing, telling storiesand slowly crafting together pieces of experiences shared by the co-searchers.Connections among these three aspects of agency came forth in the following way. Asmembers felt more comfortable speaking and showing their memories, their interactionsgrew stronger and more certain. As talking became more confident, their sense of selfstood taller and more self-assured. By the time the show, Shaken: Not Disturbed... with atwist! was mounted the third element appeared on stage: a collective and individual senseof autonomy or power. Within Chapters 5-7, each of these concepts are discussed inFigure 1: The cast rehearsing in the gym. Figure 2: The cast rehearsing in the barn.24relation to key locations within the inquiry, starting with cast members’ awareness, toaudience perceptions, to my own understanding, respectively.The Researcher-ParticipantWithin each person there are tensions between aspects of identity that can be read byobservers. What is often taken in is a public image, but what is usually not understood arehidden aspects of a person stowed away in the physical body and memories, or theprivate self. What happens if there are private markers that can be read but are ignored ordevalued? This dynamic drew me into this research: the struggle of tensions that isvisible, yet but remains unnoticed.My life has carried a number of “identity tensions” informing my view ofexperience. I described these sources of unease by comparing the public’s understandingof my selves versus my personal understandings of me. The differences between the twoare described as tensions. Publicly, I am considered to be an urban, educated, straight,middle-class, White, western Canadian male — what I would describe as mainstream.However, my life contains experiences of living as a rural, gay, poor, Jamaican/Irish,educated, eastern Canadian male. This superficial manufacturing is similar to theconstruction of identities relating to mental disorder. The “illness” diagnosis becomes the“master” identity because the markers of difference lying on the surface (clothes,physical appearance, behaviours) are easier to “read” than the underlying complexities ofmaking one’s thoughts, feelings and stories visible. The non-visible aspects of identityand their roles in creating difference are a particular research focus for me. In the practiceof living, I am less anchored to one fixed notion of self. Instead, I am constantlynegotiating among various dimensions contained within my public versus private senses25of self; I am left wandering among the frontiers of difference. Admittance into themainstream is largely foreclosed; therefore, much of what is studied takes place withinthe margins. I wrote extensively about my liminal position during my master’s research.To help frame the work, my personal philosophies and approach are importantand elaborated. My perspectives are shaped by circumstance and ability to incorporateexperience with what is brought forward through my history. As with most educators, Iprefer to teach the way I feel I learn best. Space is important; the environment is one ofheightened flexibility, spontaneity, comfort and openness. This is why I, as often as I amable, find myself working within community settings, away from formal institutions.Where individuals work and play is a critical element in the ritual of learning. Educationis a rite of passage, containing relationships of teaching, learning and interactions ofchange. This study included significant transitions as co-searchers looked to themselvesand each other to create a deeper awareness of their place in society, starting with howthe cast operated. Everyone in this cast negotiated decisions and the creation of thelearning atmosphere in an effort to share the power within the group. Throughout theearly part of the inquiry, this opening up of power dynamics by the participants was aconstant “push-of-war.” Participants were deflecting authority and decision-making tome. I would turn the reaction back. By the end of our time together, the group was morecomfortable making decisions affecting both themselves and the larger group.I am in the research. Popular theatre, adult education and performative inquiryanticipate this. What is presented is a reflection of the writer in conjunction with thosereflected. Bodies and their performances come together to construct the “data.” Other26voices are implied, even though my voice as the writer is the most apparent among thesepages:vocalizingdancingsingingtalkingcreatingbeingbecoming playingOverview of the DissertationIn Chapter One, I stated the problem was mental “difference’s” construction throughprevailing mainstream notions of psychiatric disability. The manufacturing of socialmargins, as illustrated through a cast of psychiatrically diagnosed individuals and itsstories, connects to the main purpose of this research: (i) disrupt “normal” ways ofthinking about psychiatric diversity by challenging prevailing notions of mental “illness”and (ii) create better relationships between psychiatrically diagnosed and other peopleIntentions supporting this aim include:• revealing of the basic capacity for power, expression of identity and need forvoice a group of psychiatric survivors embody when performing their livedexperience;• humanizing individuals and their experiences relating to living with and beinglabelled as “mentally disordered”; and• bridging different identity positions through commonality of experience.Bringing the problem, purpose and intention together, the following question began theinquiry: What shtfts occur within a group ofrural adults living with mental disorder(s) asit develops andpresents an absurdistpopular theatre community production?The methodological framing of the study is discussed in Chapter Two. The broadframe of radical humanism is described. The link with critical popular adult education27and Freire is highlighted. The process carried out within this study was a performativeinquiry (Fels, 1998). The techniques of popular theatre were employed and absurdisttheatre forms were incorporated.Chapter Three outlines the procedures that were taken within the study, namely,describing how participants or co-searchers joined the study, the steps taken to carry outthe research and the means through which “analysis” or reflective interpretationsemerged.Chapter Four delves more deeply into concrete practice by describing particularincidents. Experiences of the presentation and post-production follow within the threechapters proceeding from this one. Following the popular theatre process undertaken, the“interstandings” within two groups are described: the cast and the audience.Chapter Five concentrates on what members comprehended from the experience.Rather than the more traditional qualitative thematic discussions found in ethnographies,the performative inquiry lens seeks out critical “moments of recognition” arising fromembodied (inter)actions. Aspects of new understanding included evolving cast members’notions of identity, voice and power.Chapter Six investigates the audience’s reactions to the play. Like the previouschapter, this one looks at power, identity and voice from the spectators’ perceptions ofthe cast. Also, the audience’s shift in awareness regarding individuals living with mentaldisorder is examined. This chapter helps to create a counterpoint to the cast members’“insider” status by hearing from the community’s “outsider” position.Chapter Seven serves to create some level of bridging between the two. Thissecond to last chapter is of my own reflection as the bridge between someone “inside” a28group of adults living with disorder and as an “outsider” from within the broadercommunity.Chapter Eight examines the significance of this study. This moves the discussionfrom the current research into missed or lost strands I will investigate in the future.SummaryThis chapter provided the background for this research including the central “problem”and concepts this dissertation relied on. Guiding the reader into this research, the chapteropens with a concise description of what this study involved: a group of psychiatricsurvivors creating a play about their experiences of living within social “difference.”From here, the study’s purposes and intentions were described, leading to the guidingresearch question. To provide a quick landscaping of the research, the theoreticalscaffolding of mental/disability theory, rural sociology and the interdisciplinarymethodology of performative inquiry were outlined. Much greater detailed discussionscentred on critical disability and rural sociology can be found in the appendices with theformer in Appendix B and the latter in Appendix C. My social location, as rural gayresearcher and a brief overview of my philosophy of education were introduced toprovide some framing of this dissertation. And lastly, an overview of the flow of chapterswas provided. The next chapter recounts the evolution of how psychiatric survivors havebeen constructed historically through to the present.29CHAPTER TWOPERFORMING INQUIRIES OF (IN)SANITY“...as I exist in the world and with the world, the reading ofmy body, as well asthat ofother bodies, implies the reading ofspace” (Freire, 1997, p. 52)IntroductionIn the previous chapter, the context and theories supporting this study were reviewed.The current chapter examines the interdisciplinary methodology used within the research.Radical humanism is the broad conceptual framing within which this study resides. Thefocus of this research is to transform oppressive relationships into something moreempowering as viewed by people, themselves. Popular adult education is the field thisexploration took place in. Education is a tool by which learners can critically examinehow power is implicated within the processes of freeing or limiting life opportunities fora particular group. Performative inquiry is the methodology. This question-driven inquiryallows for individuals to start with a large question and slowly, through performativeactions, open the initial query into smaller controversies that lead into more novel andhidden connections. Through exploration, a greater sense of awareness arises throughprobing unfolding questions as they emerge. The methodology remains open for furtherqueries.The method for this study was a blending of the processes of popular theatre andforms from theatre of the absurd. Theatre exercises and games allowed for chaos,ambiguity and serendipity to be fostered so novel insights and connections were conjuredthrough playing, doing and creating. Absurdist forms and themes including “darkhumour” (whereby serious and negative experiences are portrayed in ways that evokelaughter), circularity, unending aimlessness, routine, exaggeration, and contradictoryrelationships (that render invisible power relationships visible) were all used in the play30that unfolded through this process. Performativity and reflective observation link,conceptually, the disparate pieces together into a more complete story. The results of themethodology are discussed in Chapters 5 to 7. To start, popular adult education ispresented as the first piece of the picture (Figure 3) created throughout this chapter.Figure 3: Theoretical relationships incorporated within the studyRadical HumanismMapping of educational and social change theories, carried out by Paulston (1996),created a broader view of how educational theory and philosophies connect together inrelation to one another (Figure 4, on page 33). The horizontal line in the diagram marks acontinuum of ontology or how theories view “reality.” The right side relates to thoseviews that suggest there is an outside, knowable, detached sense of social functioning,whereas the left side suggests that each individual constructs or makes sense of society inhis or her own, unique subjective way. The vertical line marks power relationships withinRADICAL// \\HUMANISMIAbsurdistStructures \\\\: \\I: :PopularTheatre Process \\Performativity \\‘1I II I IfI--LI: EEERural Sociology, Cntical Disability Theory :Constructions of Psychiatric Disorders as Context(I31society and how they are used. The topmost point views the focus as being socialtransformation, whereas the bottom-most point is interested in the maintenance of a statusquo.Briefly, each quadrant takes a different view of the world and what education setsout to achieve. Functionalism establishes what “must be,” or education sits within a senseof objective realities and power that maintains equilibrium of current social and powerrelations. The humanist also resides within a sense of status quo in that the aim is one of“being.” The difference between the functionalist quadrant and this one is the humanistviews the world as not “out there,” but is constructed through the subjectiveinterpretations and viewpoint of each individual. There is no threat to wanting to changethe current structure or relationships found within society.The next two quadrants are not interested in maintaining status quo, but of socialchange. The radical functionalist views society as being objectively “out there” and isinterested in changing the structures because of inequities and contradictions foundwithin social systems. The last quadrant, radical humanism, is where this study resides.“Realities” of the social world are rooted in where each individual lives within society.Knowledge is shared and found within interactions. The focus within this last quadrant isto change social relationships that are found to be oppressive and unequal with regard topower. Transformation, emancipation or freedom, and critical analysis involving thesubjugation of individuals or groups are the project of educators with this view.The current research sits comfortably within the radical humanist (Figure 4) sensebecause of its focus on investigating how individuals and this group, from their subjectivevantage point as psychiatric survivors, understand their experiences. Once “coded” in a32subjective way, the shift is on changing the nature of the relationships in which theseindividuals find themselves. The transformations that occur are done from the viewpointof the participants, rather than the researcher. Amendments to social relationships aresubjective. By comparison, key relationships experienced by psychiatrically diagnosedFigure 4: A map of social change and education theory and philosophy into four broadapproaches and the relationship among them. (Paulston, 1996)individuals, namely the medical ones, run diametrically opposite to the aim of thisresearch. Doctors tend to be within the functionalist paradigm, whereby medical scienceof bodies is something outside individuals and their focus is on “fixing” or bringinghealth back to a status quo.VIEW OF SOCIETY CHANGEFocus on relationships and changingheir nature to transform how selfeality”K4DI(!L STR( ( ‘Tt R1LISTFocus on structures and changing structuresto chanic real 1\\”Draws upon Nco—Marxist theor\\SUBJECTIVITY“Will Be”OBJECTIVE“REALITY”HL\\/4VISTReaIit” as constructed b selfUses ethnourapll\\ plienomenolouFl V(7IVILLS’T“Reaht\\” s “outside. fixed. and tanufible“Be-ing”VIEW OF STATUS QUO“Must Be”33Popular Adult EducationIncreasingly, structured and negotiated adult education is taking place within educationalenvironments. Briefly, in North America, much adult education began outside formalinstitutions. In the United States, during the early to mid twentieth century, bothLindeman (1929) and Knowles (1980) began their work in the “community” institution ofthe YMCA. Similar to Lindemann, other adult educators, like Cameron and Corbett inCanada drew on the thinking of Grundtvig and his conception of Danish folk highschools and Dewey’s pragmatist philosophy (Leighton & Leighton, 1982). In Canada, atthe turn of the twentieth century, and through the 1 960s, the focus was on rural education,Canada’s country population and building a nation. Notable adult education initiativesincluded Moses Coady and Father Tompkins’ work in creating the Antigonish Movement(Alexander, 1997), the Banff School, Farmers’ Radio Forum, Women’s Institutes andFrontier College. In the United States, the focus was on social justice and broadeningdemocracy.Adult education entered its “golden era” from the I 960s until the early I 980swhen a number of adult educators and educationalists offered a variety of views about therole, form and process of educating adults. While many adult educators of the timeoperated within the non-formal arenas of adult education, Freire’s and Boal’s focus wason popular education. Their work situates my project. I draw on the writings of theseeducation theorists, in part, in order to dovetail with the framework and focus ofperformative inquiry. These popular educators were participatory and non-formal,34placing themselves among the people to co-create grassroots access to educationalexperiences.AndragogyDrawing from the writings of Knowles (1950, 1989), Table 1 synthesizes the assumptionsof andragogy in relation to the general approach taken within this study. The experienceof cast members within the development of performance, rather than on the resultingproduction, was the research focus. Merriam and Brockett’s (1996) definition of adulteducation guides this study:Activities intentionally designed for the purpose of bringing aboutlearning among those whose age, social roles, or self-perception definethem as adults. (p. 8)This project resides in the realm of andragogy (See Table I on p. 36). Adultteaching and learning focus more on process than on content. Even though Knowles(1980) popularized a specialized theory for teaching adults, Alexander Kapp coined theterm “andragogy” in 1833. He had, in turn, drawn from aspects of Plato’s learning theory(Nottingham Andragogy Group, 1983). Adult education and performative inquiry’s goalscoexist comfortably. (See Table 1) Within the broad definition of adult education, anumber of terms connected to the project of teaching include formal, informal and non-formal knowledge. A continuum illustrating the co-existence of a range of educationalstructures is shown that relies on Rogers (2003). This research is located somewhereclose (Figure 5, marked by X) to Participatory Education:Set Structure Negotiated Structure No Structure. . .x .Formal Non-Formal Participatory In formalEducation Education Education LearningFigure 5: A continuum of structure in adult education35Table 1A Comparison of Knowles’ Andragogy to the Current Research.KNOWLES’ ASSUMPTIONS IN EVIDENCE FROM WITHINANDRAGOGY SHAKEN NOT DISTURBEDAs adults mature they move from a Cast members were living in dependentdependent to independent personality circumstances because of the influence ofmedical and social work authorities, yet all ofthem lived independently within the town.As a person matures a greater accumulation The accumulation of lived experience wasof experience is realized being a rich source evident as the group explored various issues offor further learning living with a psychiatric label. An addeddimension was everyday life experience felt moredeeply than would be expected, i.e., small talk issupported by pronounced levels of animation, orbeing told to do something rather than beingasked generates feelings of anger.Maturity fosters an increasing desire to focus Within Shaken and the exploration of lives, thelearning on the development of social roles. focus was on understanding how roles are “read”and changed of others influential in their lives.As a person matures, the role of time shifts There was no content per se provided to castto learning tasks for immediate application members. Process drove the learning and was theso the focus also changes away from content- outcome, in particular popular theatre and thedriven, to process-centred frame of performative inquiry.As a person matures the motivation to learn This became evident when interviewing castbecomes internalized, members at the end of the project, whenindividuals shared their understanding of shifts intheir self-concept.PRiNCIPLES OF ANDRAGOGY EVIDENCE FROM WITHINSHAKEN NOTDISTURBEDAdults need to be involved in the planning While the initial planning did not have aand evaluation, particular group in mind, when decisions weremade the group shared in them. Notably at thebeginning, the group drove the decision to find anew meeting place and time. They also had finalsay on whether the poultry barn worked for theperformance.Experience is the basis for learning. Theatre is experience-based and process-basedand it’s from this, learning occurred.Relevance to everyday living. The context of each cast member’s life wasplaced centrally in the explorations and learningoccurring within each weekly meeting.Problem centred. A central problem the cast faced was the cycle ofunemployment being common among psychiatricsurvivors. This was transformed into a cycle offorum theatre. This process has, at its heart,problem-posing performance engaging anaudience.36Formal education occurs within a relatively fixed structure where the group is consideredunchanging, even though individuals within it may come and go. Negotiated structuresare affected by the comings and goings of participants because group energies shiftaccording to personalities present. As members change, dynamics become renegotiatedensuring a cohesive group. Non-formal education, as portrayed in Figure 5, includesstructured educational projects falling outside of institutional arrangements. Non-formal“schools” fit here. They are more egalitarian and have a temporary, casual approach toeducation. Participatory education is much more than that affected by individual groupmembership and, often, process can be more important than the content of what is taught.Table 2 illustrates how each complements the other.Table 2Why Do Adult Education and Performative Inquiry Co-exist Well?ADUE .T EDUCATION PERFORMATI VE INQUIRYShared Phmning and Evaluation The group determines hai will be exploredand how.Experiential Learning Embodied performance and interacting withothers is the basis for experiential learning.Everyday Life Everyday issues and problems the group isinterested in are explored.Problem Centred The process of performative inquiry is aboutproblems and the generation of deeperquestions, rather than complete and wholeanswers.Working in a group develops group roleswithin it and from there these can becometransferred into the broader lives and socialSocial Rolesroles.Internalized Learning Actions and interactions taken withinperformative inquiry are reflective ofinternalized learning. Reflections and thoughtguide a person’s behaviour.37Much community education and development work sits within the position ofparticipatory education on the continuum. The current arts-based educational projectresides within participatory education and informal learning of the adult education. Theearly definition of informal education described learning as being wholly constructed andnegotiated by the individual. The person’s lifelong learning project is the focus of theresearch. By splitting “informal” into participatory education and informal learning, theslipperiness of the term “informal education” can be reduced (Rogers, 2003).Popular EducationFreire (1970) suggested breaking down dynamics of oppression by opening up space tomake things more visible (Figure 6). By facing one’s location within society andSecondary Researchon Mental Disorderf Evaluation andFinal ThesisONEFigure 6: A diagram of Freire’s culture circle38recognizing the invisible forces locking out-groups in place as powerless, Freireenvisioned “cultural circles.” These spaces were where oppressed groups worked outsidethe pull of prevailing norms (Freire & Faundez, 1989). Within these constructedopenings, while remaining in the affected community, a cycle of community learning andsocial awareness is embraced. Through being taught concepts, experience-basedmeanings behind ideas help illustrate freedom’s reduction, removal or rejection. Withinthis current project, theatre training replaces Freire’s literacy focus. The group engaged insystematically creating codifications and decodJIcations. Through their performativeexplorations and creations, the co-searchers explored topics of oppression, describing,naming and deconstructing barriers to living more freely. This dynamic resonates withperformative inquiry’s praxis that “through form and simultaneously the destruction ofform” emerges creative action (Fels, 1998). In other words, through systems and patternsin living and the changing (which involves destruction of these pre-existingarrangements) these as new awareness arises, imaginative new potentials for beingunfold. Issues relate to people’s lives in the community (Freire, 1970, 1997). A key to theentry into this learning space is the willingness to engage in an improvisational practice.As each process of raising themes and pulling them apart repeats (Figure 6), theongoing project of increased critical consciousness toward conscientization isstrengthened (Freire, 1970; 1997). With the inclusion of performative inquiry and populartheatre, novel insights occur through the improvisational theatre process as bodies learnthrough inter-reaction. This is a variation of the Freirian theme. The ultimate goal iscreating a liberatory education for those feeling they can neither alter their worlds, norfeel they have the right to change.39TABLE 3Connecting Freirian Adult Education Principles to Performative Inquiry Methodology, PopularTheatre Methods, Absurdist Forms to SHAKEN: NOT DISTURBED.FREIRE/LIBERATORY PERFORMATIVE POPULAR ABSIIRDISM SHAKEN NOTADULT EDUCATION INQUiRY TUEATRE DISTURBEDPreliminary Investigation: Look for a group Announce my Interest is in an Found the groupTarget a group to work with availability alienated group first, thenand then understand the within a and seeks a researchedsituation of a group community and sense of psychiatricthen wait to be meaning for survivors andinvited in to itself. mentalwork with a disabilitiesgroupInvestigation: Observations Open with initial Meet with Look for Have castDecodify and Evaluation questions for group, develop contradictions members bring in“report findings” exploration opening group sense, in life experiences soout into further and identify group experiences— we can exploredeepened questions— issues, explore extend the myths andproblem pose rather issues through reasoning to power rituals— tothan find one solution theatrical absurd or report through aexercises, and satirical levels performancetheatre— develop black“training” comedicmomentsCulture Circle “Container” within “Rehearsal “Structures” of The “ritual” ofwhich chaotic and Process” to contradiction our weeklyopen performative explore and hyperbole meetings wereexplorations occur performatively containers for ourlife experience process anddevelopingperformancestructuresGenerative Themes —Create Key Questions to Key Processes Key Employment,a complex picture of keep in mind when that support Contradictory Psychiatricexperiences being political exploring process and questions and Structures Power, Poverty,structures structures DeathCodification— identify Sub-questions; Look at pieces How do Employmentsmaller parts of themes probing questions of myths and smaller pieces theme: brokenemerge through process rituals contradict one intoperformatively that construct another and Looking for workexploring larger the larger issue still remain in a El Appeal Panelquestion and the powers cohesive form Faking Itthat keep them Filling the Gapin place New JobUnemploymentThe ritual repeats40fFREIRE PERYORMATIVE POPULAR - SHAKEN NOTINQUIRY TREATRE DISTURBEDDecodification: Opening the question Alter Ego Serious and Hypnosis gameproblematize a theme performatively exercise, Body Comedic as drugthrough: What If? So Guard Forms dependency,What? Who cares? movement, Exaggeration Body GuardWhat matters? Hypnosis of movement, exercise asQuestions drive the exercise, facial reactions, automaton workexploration deeper in Mirrors, clown-like world,the issues, processes Forum Theatre, characters, Alter Ego sceneand structures— as Newspaper Factual depicting thethis is done old forms Theatre, Overheads in tension betweenare destroyed to make Invisible comedic scene patient care andway for new ways of Theatre drug companybeing salesmen andbonuses“Buster”character inEmploymentReflective Learning in Moments of Play with Play with Emotions can beAction recognition; the myths and social and controlled byStopped moments social rituals institutional individuals ratherwhen insights are supporting structures than emotionssparked broader issues controlling one’sbehaviour; Whois an economicdrain on society?Publicly paidprofessionals orpsychiatricsurvivors?Conscientization: a Ask deeper questions Through Examine Repressivedeepened awareness of looking at smaller creating and structures reactions moresocial issues and one’s and smaller performing contradicting reflective ofplace in society are not as constituent parts processes of themselves to others’ fear thanfixed and permanent as creates a stronger oppressive create openings of anypreviously thought understanding of relationships for using satire, impairment—social questions comes a greater humour to suicide is aunderstanding highlight the constructionof how power absurdity of based on falseand oppression superficial consciousness—operate appearances killing one’s selfcreates stress forloved ones ratherthan alleviates itas in the SuicidalSally scene41FREIRE. .... PERFORMATIVE POPULAR ABSTJRDISM SHAKEN: NOT. .. QUWY THEATRE..:. :...DISTURBEDSocial Action: ways to Further questions to The act of Find ways to The cast offeredchange society once a cycle keep in mind should performing as a rethink recommendationsof popular education has further social action social action structures.... for action at thebeen completed be considered falls out of the Change end of the playpopular theatre contradictory (Chapter 5)process during structuresexploringissues —includingadditionalpopular theatrecyclesFreire’s work unlocks the field of popular education allowing pedagogy andandragogy educationalists to focus on critical learning projects. Freire (Facundo, 2003;Ohliger, 2003; Taylor, 1993) did not focus specifically on gender, race/ethnicity,sexuality or disability. Popular education exposes critical examinations: the use of powerto shape various in- and out-groups, the moulding of interests and authorities within asociety and those “owning” language and speaking for others.Boal, through Freire’s work, opened up the field of popular education, allowingcritical education and cultural workers to focus on creative education projects (Boal,1974, 1992). Within this study, there was an affirmation of collective popular theatreprocess and critical emancipatory perspectives of art. In this project, the creation of theplay, Shaken Not Disturbed with a Twist, made concrete the issues of the group’soppression to interrupt, disturb and, ultimately, transgress experiences of powerlessness.This research moved the discussion into new directions, namely, disabled people’sperformativity and theatre. Table 3 connects Freirian Adult Education Principles toPerformative Inquiry Methodology, Popular Theatre Methods, Absurdist Forms asunfolded in Shaken Not Disturbed with a Twist. Popular adult education is conversant42with performative inquiry and popular theatre (Table 3) and with what transpired withinShaken: Not Disturbed.Performative InquiryThis study relied on performative inquiry centrally as its research methodology (Fels,1998). The study’s approach employed both popular theatre processes and absurdistforms to explore in co-creative ways their experiences of living with psychiatricdiagnoses (Fels & Meyer, 1997). The “action-interaction” space is where “interstanding”occurs (Taylor & Saarinen, 1994).Fels (1998, 2003) etymologically pulls apart the word performance or per/for/mance, toarrive at what is at the heart of performative inquiry:And the prefix persuddenly takes ona split-personalitywhenjuxtaposedwith formmeaning “utterly, throughout and through “formbut also“to do away, away entirely or to [the]destruction” offormIs performance action both within, through and without form?In our reading ofperformancewe imaginea creative action-interactiona birthing and rebirthingsimultaneously withinform and the destruction offormand suddenlyfind ourselvesin an unexpected spacebetween structure and chaos [bolding mine] (Fels, 1999, p.48)43Thus, suggests Fels it is “through form and simultaneously through the destruction ofform that we come to action”(Fels, 1998, p. 234), in which action is understood as“doing, being, knowing.” This etymological play, as Fels describes, locates us in thetheoretical playground of complexity theorists, “the edge of chaos,” a generative space oflearning, creating and re-creating. Within this enactive and interactive environment ofperformative explorations, questions help frame the inquiry: What matters? What If? Sowhat? (Fels & Meyer, 1997).• What matters? The methodology focuses on complex dynamics at an embodied levelin order to deconstruct experiences important to individuals• What if? The uncovering of new questions through initial inquiry is about the openingof possibilities.• So What? A sense of empowerment, control and the exploration of identity. All ofthis occurs in a “framed space” (my term) apart from, but connected to, the lives ofthe individuals involved. In this environment, a ritualized “container” for learningbegins to emerge (Fels, 1998, pL33).The learning, which emerged from within this performative inquiry, was teasedout through combinations and permutations of body-memory, emotions, experiences andsenses. Examples of unfolding awareness occurring among the cast are described inChapter 5. Fels and Meyer (1997) indicate performative inquiry assumes knowledge is“embodied in creative action and interaction” (p. 76). Knowledge is a verb rather than anoun (Fels, 1998). This methodology is, at a fundamental level, a physical and concreteapproach to experiential learning. As interactivity occurs, collaborative interpretationsimultaneously unfolds. In a new group, the function of power has to be negotiated. Forsome individuals, a span of time may elapse before a sense of freedom of “letting go”flourishes. Expectations of “being told to perform something” are replaced bymotivations of “wanting to” and “needing to.” The co-searchers’ evolving sense of44performance mirrors the shift from being externally guided to being internally motivatedto explore one’s self.The Biological Roots ofPerformative InquiryPerformative inquiry relies on the intricate systems model provided by biology(Maturana, 1995; Maturana & Varela, 1992; Varela, Thompson & Rosch, 1992). Severalkey terms from enactivist literature apply to performative inquiry. Embodied knowledgeis collectively created as cast members experience the yet-to-be-discovered. Of particularinterest, are concepts of drift, flow, and autopoiesis because they were evident in theunfolding of experience when working with the co-searchers.Dr,ft occurs through letting go of preconceptions, of presumptions of knowingand what it means to “be” (Maturana, 1988). Accustomed ways of being, thinking,interacting and experiencing open out to what is offered and to what is given back inreturn (Varela, Thompson & Rosch, 1991).Flow describes the total involvement of the mind-bodies of all involved, to theexclusion of everything else (Csikszentmihalyi, 1998; Maturana, 1995) or to be lost in the(inter)actions and focus of the moment. Opening one’s self up to others, increases thepossibility one’s self will be opened to understandings about the world. This goal alsomoves people toward one of the goals of existentialism (to be discussed later): to acceptothers knowing others accept you. Being vulnerable to another’s perspective creates anexperience where all worldviews of those present are susceptible to change.A utopoiesis (literally meaning “automatic /self production”) (Mariotti, 1999),indicate the processes whereby living things are understood to be systems continuouslyreproducing themselves, just as this group continually did each time it met. Translating45this concept into society is the notion various social groups, systems of power andindividuals perpetuate their existence through continual engagement as part of anenvironment. The untangling of an individual from the society becomes virtuallyimpossible.Enactivist RootsEnactivists believe learning is shaped by interactive and embodied structures ofexistence. The shift in insight results in changing perceptions of the world (Fenwick1999). Complexity. Complicity. Structures can contain system shifts but these structuralrestrictions do not automatically cause change. Through raised awareness, interstandingduring a performative exploration helps illustrate experience as being of one’s ownmaking in conjunction with others. Interstanding arises from co-creation. This sharedawareness becomes important as a reflection of the co-searchers’ emergent learning(including the researcher’s) and comprehension of voice, identity and power. Castmembers’ interactions within the larger social world are implicated by unfolding newinterpretations of experience.Enactivism is dependent on “interstanding” (Fels, 1998; 2003; Hocking, Haskell& lAnds, 2001; Taylor & Saarinen, 1994). Also, this theory envisions individualsdeconstructing various aspects of life stories. Interrogation of form was exercised amongthe co-searchers while seeking new awareness. Group members worked from withinrepressive systems of medicalized power. In turn, the effects of oppression wereimplicated in the performative work of the cast. As a collective finds its senses of identitychanging, echoes are felt within systems of power and control (Reid, 2002). As newknowledge unfolds, old insights are revised by being destroyed or changed. Within46enactivist research (Reid, 1996), “analysis” is conceptualized as being a co-evolution ofideas born through active interpretation. Here is another place where Freirian culturecircles resonate with performative inquiry (Table 3).Theory and “data” (acts of interpretation) co-emerge through the interactionswithin the group. As this study’s explorations deepened, the theoretical anticipations ofperformative inquiry were made manifest through the practice of popular theatre.Awareness of experience was located within the inter-relations among co-searchers andnew understandings emerged. Performative inquiry, through popular theatre (in anabsurdist mode), ensures an enactive, interactive and shared process with others.Enactively co-creating moments of comprehension are complex and ambiguous.Many “stopped” moments carry births of interstanding as a whole kaleidoscope ofassociations collide, are played with, turned inside out and brought together within theprocess of co-evolution. Over time, “moments of recognition” can be brought together toform a structure through action. Collectively, these turning points become “mapping inreflection” or a coherent “laying down a path in walking” (Fels, 1998; Machado, 1983;Varela, 1987). Within the play, Shaken: Not Disturbed, various scenes and movementpieces were the cast’s own version of reflective, thematic mapping of its explorations.Knowledge ReconceptualizedAs the learner co-creates new and emerging knowledge and experiences in theimmediacy of the moment, an experiencing of “losing one’s self’ or “finding the flow” inthe action occurs (Csikszentmihalyi, 1998; Maturana, 1995). This focussed experience isthe ultimate opening up of the context to new learning within a collective. As learnersraise their awareness, the context they are a part of also changes to reflect new insights,47creating ripples across a broader spectrum of social networks. As changes are felt morebroadly within the larger context, the identity of learner(s) also changes: somethingwhich occurred within this study. Performative inquirers, like enactivists, understandsocial knowledge is conjured through complex and complicated interactions (with)in theworld of lived experiences; through an engagement within relationships (Reid, 1996).Just as the notion of what “counts” as “knowledge” is reconceptualized throughenactivism, performative co-searchers re-envision the concept of insight, or moments oflearning, occurring within perfonnative interactions. This is where popular theatre’sprocess intersects with the theoretical underpinnings of performative inquiry: “knowledgeis creating” (Fels, 1995, p. 37) (Table 3).The co-mingling of body-minds within this work shifts the focus of the researcherfrom looking at the parts (individuals) of a system (society) to focus on relationshipswithin it. Learning is examined within the in-betweenness among people rather thanindividuals themselves. Because of an intentional delving into relationships previouslyignored, a sense of something “non-visible” slowly emerged as recognizable andconcrete. To bring forth the not-seen or not yet known, something needs to jar theperceptually peaceful order of things. By doing so, what was hidden by taken-forgrantedness is dislocated into being noticed as unfamiliar. For example, recognizingawareness as shared action, rather than simply an individual’s sole responsibility was amemorable moment within the group. A key moment occurred when the cast, collectivelydrafted the “Mental Seeking Mental” (Appendix G) romance advertisement for the show.As words were played with and mainstream concepts were transformed into48psychiatrically laden experiences, the profound sense of sexuality and mental disorderemerged within the group.Performative inquiry views knowledge as an act of knowing, doing, being,creating (Fels, 1995): the power ofplaying is added within this research. Within Chapters4 and 5 there are examples of serendipitous and novel connections that arise through fun.While playing is seen as something done to alleviate stress from ordered and structuredwork, games are important because of their spontaneity and conviviality. The apparentfrivolity allows an individual’s awareness to covertly make experiential connectionsoutside of taken-for-granted attentiveness. By “letting go” of daily ordered expectation,new potential associations, relationships and non-visible directions to explore emerge.Creatively interstanding involves, both, the initial destruction of taken-for-granted formsin order to create new potentials of possibility. Approaches to performative inquiry caninvolve diverse arts processes which call into play the embodied thinking, experiences,emotions, dreams, prejudices, yearnings and desires for becoming (Fels, 1998).Because of the “open” nature (meaning information can come and go freelyblurring individuals’ boundaries) of the co-searchers’ workings, creating a “container” tohouse the chaotic work of play and performative explorations was important. The smaller“social system” of the cast was continually implicated by a variety of larger ones,including, psychiatric staff, social workers, loved ones, the media, and governmentamong others. Even while the group explored, recent experiences percolated into currentexplorations. New questions emerged and were sent out to inform the lives of themembers. While the group tried to keep everything within the “container” isolated, whatoccurred was a constant “bleeding” back and forth between the performative inquiry and49larger society. Within this study, for example, a ritual was constructed to “contain” theopening and closing of time and space to sharpen the border between our process ofpopular theatre and its “nesting” within the broader systems of the cast’s lives. The ritualsof the group meetings allowed for the “edge of chaos to unfold” (Fels and Meyer, 1997).Having ritualized beginning and ending points for each session gave a sense of order, yetthe space was filled with random and intentional interactions. The two, in part, allowedfor the creativity and novelty of insights to occur (Bell, 1995). Performance requiresindividuals to come together in random, ambiguous and, at times, chaotic motion andrelationships of action around a central impetus (question, topic, quote, picture, story,experience, or process) (Fels, 1998; Freire, 1970; Prentki & Selman, 2001).Using one’s body to communicate hidden memories and experiences opens actsof remembering through embodied actions and increased awareness. Too many oppressedlives fall into a vacuum of silence of being “never-known.” Those participating in thisproject were among those often non-visible to many individuals in society.Performatively inquiring does not explore what is known about the world, but dares toseek out what is not known or recognized. Guided by illuminating questions, the lightcan fall more clearly on the question this project began with in its desire to excavateincreasingly complex queries. The study began with the following question: IT’77at shiftsoccur within a group ofrural adults living with mental disorder(s) as it develops andpresents an absurdistpopular theatre community production?This query reflected a general direction into the complex and complicit unknown.What becomes revealed is known as the single, stopped instant of its revelation and in away unique to the group of co-searchers. Within performative inquiry, momentary50instances or “stops” transpire (Applebaum, 1995) when a flash of insight occurs within aparticular space and time. In the search for connection space-moments, or “ahas” ofinsight, ping into embodied thought. These moments emerge when co-searchers leastexpect them (adding to the power of the “stop”). Examples of “the stop” are described inChapter 5. In an instant, new awareness emerges: participants momentarily experiencethe shudder of meaning as bodies take in fleeting experiences. Rejecting a moment of“stop” closes a particular action; taking it in allows for the exploration to go further.This inquiry involved elements of “risk,” the involvement of embodied action,anticipation of possibility and shared meaning of people’s experiences. What can assist inmapping awareness “falling out” from a performative inquiry is the development of aperformance as was done with Shaken: Not Disturbed. The continual improvising withinpopular theatre performance allows for the initial exploration to continue, evolution todeepen and incorporation of dialogue with audiences to:deepen the playing.... the jig oflife in the margins ofliving.., the chaotic “ah-has”the revelations.Reflection within performative inquiry occurs both in moments of creating as wellas through group and individual contemplation that follows. Time plays a key role for theemergence of new insights. Mapping in reflection creates an opportunity to reviewinstances when popping of awareness may have occurred but was not recognized as suchat the time. By reflecting back over the experience to connect when insights occurredcreates a sense of whole and meaning, despite the project remaining open and contingent.Even after the collective recounting of the experience, a shared meaning-makingexercise, further understandings may emerge through ongoing conversations and51explorations over time. The openness of the process anticipates this playing withexperience to continue even outside of the inquiry itself.Popular Theatre: Collective Meaning-MakingPopular education’s philosophy supports popular theatre practice. The process usedwithin this research is one based on popular theatre. The project of popular education,exemplified by Freire’s (1970) work, was the enhancement of capacity for communitiesto affect material social change, to (re)shape for themselves their own sense of history,place, identity and most importantly: autonomy. The critical libratory adult educator,Freire (1997, p.108), lists several attributes required to carry out popular education andtheatre projects.Generous LOVING heartHUMILITYRESPECTfor others TOLERANCEJOYFUL disposition LOVE oflifeCOMMON SENSEwelcome CHANGE PERSEVERANCE inspirit ofHOPEREFUSAL OF DETERMINISMOPENNESS TO JUSTICEEach of these elements was found in the group, with cast members as cosearchers expressing the same values to one another. When participants experienced gapsin understanding, they learned through the cast’s shared stories and experiences. Becauseof this sharing of similar values among the group, the project was ultimately quitesuccessful. Each new project contains varying combinations of these characteristics, butCOURAGEOPENNESS to newnessstruggle52centrally the container holding them all has to be the educator’s central, critical curiosityfor lives lived outside the norm (Freire, 1970; 1997).Contemplating Popular TheatreIn an effective popular education project, an animator or cultural worker is invited in bythe community to work with it. Citizens explore social, economic, identity, power orother local issues, while analyzing dynamics, evolving plots and emerging changes. Tobe effective as an adult educator working within social justice, the cultural worker needsto be attuned to the social, historical and economic life of the local community (Freire,1970).The power of giving testimony and being witness to the telling is a powerfulrelationship. The aim is to uncover misunderstanding, as well as awareness, whiledisrupting “other” imposed limitations: to empower. In the midst of wanting to get “thegood stuff,” the risk of over-exposure of one’s self to the public leaves the individualfeeling vulnerable (Salverson, 1996, 1997). This dynamic of encouraging over-exposureof personal stories can be exploitive or empowering, depending on the intent behind thesharing and the individual making the request.Numerous systems of popular theatre abound. However, most include the role offacilitator working with a community group by providing process tools, approaches andguidance for the overall work, while loosening the hold (ideally letting go) of the lead.Popular theatre envisages the facilitator versed in process. The direction of the work restswithin the revealed path resulting from embodied processes within the whole group(Bappa and Etherton, 1983; Bates, 1996). Incorporating a popular theatre cycle within aperformative inquiry allows for complex play of chaos to open up aspects of ignorance.53Mining risky life episodes allows conjuring of a co-emergence of tales. Throughexplorations and embodied interactions with characters, thoughts, emotions and senses,the richness of what becomes known appears and is continually reformed and examined.The aim is opening the group to richer, deeper explorations of past life episodes whilecreating new life imaginings. Popular theatre and performative inquiry resonate withwhere the facilitator is located. Both can have the cultural worker “outside” theimmediacy of the group’s interactions. On the other hand, the worker may be locatedwithin the process, performing alongside the cast as with this study. In this role, I workedfrom within the group as a fellow traveller to prod, challenge, experiment and offerproposals. When the group disagreed with my suggestions, co-searchers were encouragedto veto. Within popular theatre, power shifts in fluid ways among members. Thefacilitator’s responsibility also bestows on him or her a degree of power, to be used toopen up exploration or oppress and stifle creativity. The potential to exploit is ever-present. The ability to encourage or foster empowerment is equally pervasive. Whatfosters empowerment versus oppression is the facilitator’s love, respect, awe, openness,trust, humour and intuition toward the group.Within Canada, two predominant approaches to popular theatre practice exist: theuse of story and character to describe histories or communication of information andideas (Barnet, 1987). This study relied on both. Much popular theatre remains within“theatre by the people, for the people, with the people and about the people’s issues”within a particular community (Prentki and Selman, 2000). Performative inquiry alsobegins where the players or cast members are located in their experiences. Performative54explorations move participants into unknown or unremembered regions of experience andbeing. Thus, the process and learner co-evolve. Everything is in flux.Barba ‘s ApproachBarba’s approach to popular theatre is instructive for this research (1979, 1986, 1995,1997). He focuses on actors teaching one another and themselves about using bodies tocommunicate. Under Barba’s guidance, each actor develops an individual regime ofphysical movement practice and warm up. A person’s approach to training is aboutexploration of physicality, thought, emotion and voice, rather than simply acquiringskills. Unlike Boal’s theorization, methodological approaches and his presumedsplintering of body and mind, performative inquiry envisions a stronger reliance on aninter-relationship between the two. A training cycle, with Barba, occurs when eachparticipant uses a variety of improvisational exercises to focus on an area ofdevelopment. This continues until a personal “system” is created and used until no furtherbenefit is gained (Barba, 1995). Once this process is exhausted, a new cycle ofexploration commences. Working repetitively through exercises embracing body-mind,to remember ‘extra-daily’, or theatrical behaviour (Barba, 1995), the actor develops arepertoire of movements to be called on quickly for more random and dynamicexploration. One of popular theatre’s strengths, as it is within a performative inquiry, isthe importance of group reflection and dialogue for reaching conscientization (Freire,1970). Both performative inquiry and popular theatre “speak” to the learning process innewer and more complex ways.“Sats” or the moments just before action and the intention supporting them areused as an entrance into understanding unfolding experiences (Barba, 1997). These55motions are examined to elicit potentially different outcomes. Using random chance forconnections to create new insights in a broader sense allows for working through morenarrowly defined, concrete issues seen as repressive by group members. Performativeinquiry looks with a predetermined sense, preferring to play within and among bodieswhile keeping an eye out for accidental physical, social, political and relationalassociations pointing the way into life in the margins. The more focussed the flow ofexploration and less inhibited the play, greater potential existed for opening moreinsightful queries.The Popular Theatre ProcessIn popular theatre, a cyclical process usually occurs in six stages: group formation,theatrical expression exploration, performance development, presentation, post-production and social action and preparation for a new cycle of popular theatreengagement (Figure 5). While defined boundaries for each period are described, inpractice each container in the process pours itself into the next. Also, back-splashing toearlier stages occurs. Occasionally, a need arises to rebuild the group because of newmembers joining (Mastai, 1987; Prentki and Selman, 2000; Spry, 1994).The first stage, group formation, the goal is for the facilitator and communitygroup to co-merge as one through play, trust and, ultimately, risk-taking. The culturalworker informing the community often initiates this coming together. Once the existenceof the performative adult educator is known, continual contact is maintained with thecommunity, while the facilitator waits for the invitation to work with a particular localgroup. When the practitioner is allowed in, a period of group development and cohesionfollows. This includes a period of games and exercises. Their aim is the formation of trust56within the group, acquainting all participants with (inter)acting among bodies andthrough physically relating with one another (Salverson, 1996). Exploring theatricalexpression involves a process whereby the facilitator offers ways for non-actors or thoseunacquainted with the arts to play with these processes.Coupled with the previous phase, this second stage commences when thefacilitator feels more in the “lead,” aid is in a position of offering to the co-searchersvarious aspects of theatre: voice, movement, improvisation, story-telling, interactivity,working with image, emotions and other elements of interest to the group for itsparticular project. As the risk of one exercise is played out, various tools and exercisesare introduced so participants grow to understand what theatre “feels like” and what artcan do to aid members in forming their public voice. Exploration of co-searchers’ storiesthrough initial theatre exercises, imagery, and short scenes is similar to Freiriancodification. Further exploring issues and interpreting questions through additional storyinvestigation and development, like decodification, opens up possibilities for disruptingoppression while creating avenues toward empowerment. Performative inquiry envisionssimilar tools and processes as well (Fels, 1998; Saldana, 1998; Selman, 1987).The third stage, performance development, begins once a degree of comfortwithin the group and with processes of theatre making emerged. Some practitioners havea narrow view of what a production “looks like.” Other cultural workers leave thedevelopment open to the needs, desires and interests of the group as it develops a public,collective presence and voice. This is where the difference between facilitator and cosearchers exist: in a subtle power differential. This is a period for many emotional, sharedstories. As past experiences are retold, story ideas and ways of presentation emerge.57Within Shaken: Not Disturbed, the group imagined what it would be like for eachof them to be seen as any other person in society: as “normal.” What fpeople withpsychiatric diagnoses were treated like anyone else, what would their lives look like?Feel like? What meanings and opportunities would they have that they don ‘t now?Imagining “what if’ was a powerful moment for the cast. It was this impetus that movedthe group to explore the first of its key themes: employment. So much of society isimplicated by one’s employment status. This group was no different. Each populartheatre group or project is unique. It requires the flexibility of a gentle, guiding hand ofthe popular theatre worker.Figure 7: A popular theatre cycle58A key within this process’s stage is the exploration and transformation ofvulnerable and victimizing stories into universal ideas, metaphors or signposts ofoppression. These windows for exploration and growth are sources to find power in thetelling. Investigations supporting popular theatre performances are hidden from publicview, but they are critically important because workshop explorations directly inform andshape the presentation’s ultimate structure and content. Within the Freirian (1970)perspective, this is a period of codification (the telling of stories), decodification (pullingthe experiences apart) and (re)codification (reshaping the elements into moreuniversalized fictions of empowerment and performative elements) (Table 3). As partsare conjured through interactions and carried out among group members, a penultimatemoment is the construction of a performance.The fourth stage occurs when a particular group feels ready. During this stage, thecast presents their explorations publicly. Arrangements for a public presentation are madeto perform in front of an audience. Of great importance is where a presentation takesplace. The importance of a show’s framing, through the physical location of the buildingand performance space, influences the reception of a popular theatre experience(Haedicke, 1993; Read, 1993; States, 1996; Wellworth, 1971; Whitmore, 1994).The fifth stage, post-production activities, follows the performative experience.These include receiving feedback from the audience and fellow cast members, tounderstand what insights were gleaned from the experience. Feedback encompassesdebriefing sessions immediately following performances. It also entails, as was done inthis study, conducting individual interviews with cast members without the influence ofthe group as a whole. Spectators will also be canvassed to understand their insights.59While at first glance this seems like individualism, the popular theatre process does notreside at a personal level because all stages are explicitly collaborative. However,learning and integration of the experiences can be individualized.Finally, the sixth and last stage of the process is the movement of the theatreexperience into social knowledge through community action. Imagining one theatre-making experience will suffice for creating any sort of prolonged social action is shortsighted (Bates, 1996). For many communities, the notion and processes of popular theatreare unknown. As a result, making connections within the larger community often takesmore than one occurrence for sustained local actions to transpire.Popular theatre is the process. The forms incorporated within the work weredrawn from notions of “carnivalesque” (Bakhtin, 1984) and the theatre of the absurd(Esslin, 1961, 1976). Meaning emerges between what occurs between audience and cast,while absurdism places the relationship of spectator and actor centrally in its effort toplay with symbols and relationships to meaning.Forms of Absurdity To Inform LifeDon ‘t walk behind me,I may not leadDon ‘t walk in front meI may notfollowJust walk beside me and be myfriend (Camus, 1955)ExistentialismAccording to writers like Camus (1947, 1955, 1976) and Sartre (1946; 1948; 1976; 1979)our being precedes anything else to do with the presence of individuals or the idea of“existence precedes essence.” How individuals come to see themselves is done throughtheir interrelating within and as part of the worlds they inhabit. By “freely” acting within60their experiential environments, their human awareness comes to be, through thisinteraction, in a way similarly envisioned by performative inquiry. Simultaneously,individuals independently choose their interactions. Concurrently, they are alsointerconnected to the choices of others. Because of this intimately (inter)acting world,persons are said to be “thrown into a world” (Sartre, 1948) not of their design or making.Once in society, individuals try to ascribe and inscribe meaning onto aspects of livinghaving no innate essential qualities. We, as individuals, put significance into experiencewhere none exists. Faced with this lack of outside determinants for interpreting,existentialists say individuals are faced with angst in having to choose our own humannature, principles and values.You will never be happy f you continue to search for what happinessconsists of You will never live fyou are lookingfor the meaning of flfe.(Camus,1956, p. 23)Existentialists suggest in order to be authentic human beings, the kind of personan individual imagines him-/herself as being is central. Responsibility accompanies thischoice. What is chosen has an effect on others in the world and decisions for one’s self.Everyone matters because each influences others within a group or society. Therefore, byjust letting our selves be, the responsibility is one of simply allowing everything andeveryone else the freedom to naively be in their projects of living and “becoming.”Bad Faith or “falling” is when individuals give in to pressures to confonn to whatothers want. In this case, to fall means a “breaking away” or “estrangement” from what itis to be authentically human (Sartre, 1948). To live in an authentic manner is living withthe responsibility of free will, while taking into account other individuals. Anotherinstance occurs when individuals completely disregard the existence of others and arefundamentally focussed on their interests, as an island in a sea of society. Much bad faith61emerges in social relationships as individuals strive to be like their idol (whether media,academic, sports or any category of elitism). By doing this, the individual’s authenticitybecomes erased; what is left is a caricature of someone else’s vision. This, in turn, is thereflection of yet another and so on. This is one source of absurdism: the desire toconstruct a false image of one’s self in order to be accepted by another. In turn, the firstobserver is simultaneously reflecting the image of still another and so on. All of this isperpetuated for the sake of acceptance, belonging and meaning. This illustrates feelingsof an existential anguish because along with free choice, there is striving towardauthenticity. The responsibility for genuineness is also borne in through “making theright choices.” As selections are made, existentialists ask the person to keep in mind: Asone individual chooses a way of being, actions of responsibility directed toward others inthe world must be acknowledged. Because humans are alone with each other, they mustexist with one another in harmony. If this is incorporated into the processes ofperformative inquiry, bad faith does not exist easily because of the deep attention eachparticipant has to offer up into the project of co-creating meaning. This meaning is not ofsome thing as in the typical notion of knowledge, but through a process involving othersas each shares aspects of their selves to a larger collective project.Existentialists speak of a forlornness arising when individuals come to theunderstanding “God is dead.” Humans are in the world alone and the consequences ofthis realization is one of feeling lost, disconnected and forlorn (Sartre, 1946). Nootherworldly entity guiding the fate of people exists. People carry out acts alone withoutthe omnipotent guidance of an invisible being. Related to this is the idea of existentialdespair because each person’s place in the world is uncertain. The consequences of62actions are never assured beforehand. One certainty is death. All efforts, while alive, areimplicitly aimed toward eventually leaving this life. Everything carried out has to be donein relation to one’s ultimate leaving. Groups of people live in this way where death isonmipresent yet unforeseen: individuals surviving oppression and poverty; the constantexperience of death in agriculture, those whose employment puts them in constantjeopardy and those individuals constructed as targets of violence. Ultimately, with thisdemise is the utter lack of meaning in terms of one’s living. This is the source of anotherabsurdity. Individuals put great stock toward constructing themselves in all sorts ofelaborate ways: possessing expensive things, being connected to the “right” people,believing what current “gurus” tell them and so on, all in an effort to find meaning wherethere ultimately is none. People live; people die. Any meaning arising is done within theimmediacy between or among individuals’ interactions. Meaning is fleeting.Figure 8, on page 67, brings all the pieces together. Everything occurs withineveryday life. Adult education is almost as large and encompassing as living is becausemost of the time adults are engaged in some aspect of learning. What is demonstratedvisually is how this study could be placed within the lives of the cast. In a more definedway (the thicker broken lines), the co-searchers worked broadly within andragogy andrelied upon the framework of performatively inquiring. With these two pieces framingthe work, popular theatre aided in narrowing down the exploration into the realm ofabsurd art, in a sort of bull’s eye form. Arrows indicate the study is fairly defined withinthe lives of the group. Pathways for awareness are realized in the group to make it out totheir broader lives and vice versa. Art and life seep into one another through the porouscharacter of the performative inquiry “container.”63Within the environment the group developed for itself, over several months ofworking together, the labelled scenes also indicate how the explorations unfolded. Webegan with our time together by playing and learning to know one another. This work isbasic to adult education, which is why it remains surrounding and holding the study. Asthe sides of the container became more known, through theatre exercises and the weeklyrituals, the group began to turn inward more to understand the issues. We started withperformative inquiries using the popular theatre process of stories, through tableaux andshort superficial vignettes, to further engage with the material. Just as performativeinquiry both contained the work and opened explorations up more fully, so did populartheatre. As the focus moved from strictly inquiring into how to present our experience,we drew increasingly upon popular theatre approaches. To concretize our work morefully with an audience in mind, popular theatre processes opened into absurdist forms.The practice in this group had them looking at their lives more critically. In someinstances this occurred.Absurdism ‘s FormsThe universe seems to me infinitely strange and foreign. At such amoment I gaze upon it with a mixture of anguish and euphoria; separatefrom the universe, as though placed at a certain distance outside it; I lookand see pictures, creatures that move in a kind of timeless time andspaceless space emitting sounds that are a kind of language I no longerunderstand or ever register” (lonesco, 1959).The word “absurd” originated from music-making to indicate being out ofharmony withsurrounding tonality. Later, its means transformed to being out ofharmony withprevailing society, to being illogical. Currently, it is defined as being ridiculous (Hoad,1993, p. 125). A mainstream theatre academic, Martin Esslin (1961; 1976), reflecting64back from the 1 960s to the 1 940s, coined the definitive term in order to critique the workof a group of playwrights (members include Beckett, lonesco, Pinter, Genet).Playscripts are not always used. Instead visual images, objects, soundscapes,improvisation, disjointed language are production values this theatre form relies on.Absurdist playwrights write in a similar style. Grouping together writers disconnectedfrom one another was more for the purpose of ease of working with a label, rather thanconstructing any real sense of dramatic “movement.” In 1948, Artaud theorized theimpulses and aspirations absurdist art sought out. Absurdism’s target is assaulting andundermining entrenched rational and existential assumptions of society, while erodingaway collective social illusions (such as meritocracy, democracy, equality, charity, justiceand fairness). Absurdism relies on an open, heightened appeal to emotions in order toaffect the body-mind of the spectator. Protest and resistance are the underpinningelements of absurdity through the making of fun by extending commonsense reason intoexaggeration. Efforts begin by defamiliarizing the world, while deconstructing theassumptions fixing status quo perspectives in place. The absurdist strategy is one ofcreating a dream-like, nightmarish state (Gaenbauer, 1991). The grotesque occurs in astate of disconnection while responding to a perceived lack of meaning and order in thelived world (Bakhtin, 1956). Ugly distortions serve to shake spectators’ confidence intheir ways of understanding the social world, but the foundation of truths and valuessupporting beliefs remain. Absurdity shifts values and truths into strange and unfamiliarterritory; curiosity defamiliarizes taken-for-granted relationships.Carnival (Bakhtin, 1956) is conceptualized as sites for freeing previouslyrepressed and marginalized desires, expressions and identities. The world is seen as a65“hail of mirrors” (Brustein, 1964, 1971), with reality merging with fantasy. Absurdperformances are about episodic contradictions, or disharmony, rather than rationalcauses/effects of plots. The structure is either circular or one gradually increasing inintensity. Absurdism is a theatre of situation rather than consequence, so it fits wellwithin Freire’s notion of problem-posing education.A non-linear, decentred, unbalanced, sceptical, abstract, ambiguous, “unclosed”atmosphere is the prevailing aspect of the absurd ritual (limes, 1993). Discord does notuse dichotomy by separating and elevating rationalism over emotions as with Brecht. Thepreference is a unified emotional body. Movement in juxtaposition is critical for thistheatre. This is likened to the shamanic trance of sound to move beyond the apparent intothe previously unknown (Schutzman, 1994). Reliance is on symbolism used to highlightelements reminding spectators that signs of oppression exist in ways experienced actionsor contexts do. Borrowing from Brecht (1972), absurdists defamiliarize taken-for-grantedhabits of being through alienation rituals of distorted repetition, separation of actor fromcharacter and ability to embody both oppressor and oppressed within one person or roleand movement such as rhythm and mirroring. The fourth wall is removed within someabsurdist works to both remind audience members the play is real and the real is play.Also, breaking through this theatre convention reconnects theatre as a centre ofcommunity learning and activity: mixing the real with the artificial, as was done withinthe performance of Shaken: Not Disturbed.Characters are constructed as caricatures to show how flimsy our selves are.Posing and masquerading are hidden parts of the human condition. Actors play theircharacters by playing themselves and through expressing their portrayals as fact, the66fiction of their narratives (Grotowski, 1968) take on a pronounced sense of authenticity.Players living the experiences portrayed carry the weight and responsibility of legitimacyof their actions to a public not able to refute experiences they have not lived. The point of— POPULAR——I ADULTIc-)IEDUCA TIONEVERYDAY LIVING RURAL DISABILITYL JFIGURE 8: Showing the relationships of key theories during the weekly rehearsalsin connection with co-searchers’ lives.67rehearsing is self-realization by more clearly connecting selves as characters born out ofexperience. To be one’s self is to be one’s entire body-mind-experience. The goal is thedestruction of predetermined and fixed social roles so actors and spectators achieve self-realization (Grotowski, 1968) in order to open up new forms.Plot is replaced by an atmosphere of ritualistic repetition of exaggeration andrhythni to apparent pointlessness (Artaud, 1970; Mayberry, 1989). The everydayness oflife is stretched and contorted to find new ways of seeing life: searching for meaningthrough and among bodies interacting. More importantly, absurdism unearths values,beliefs, perceptions and practices others have imposed and promoted as having naturalmeaning in a world without pre-existing essence (Esslin, 1961).Absurd plays probe audiences to motivate them to ask questions so they canconstruct, for themselves, possible meanings. Spectators contribute significantly to themessage of the performance. Experiential and historical understandings of artefactsillustrate the leakage occurring with symbols, generally, and language, specifically(Zepetnek, 2002). Absurdists throw signs up, leaving understanding them open forspectators to “read in” as in Barthes’ (1978) notion of “readerly” text. Meaning often isdiscovered or changed after leaving the performance and on further distant reflection,talking and interaction. Audiences remain in a somewhat passive observing role, but in apersona specifying a type of spectator (Grotowski, 1968; Richards, 1995). Demanding anaudience “perform” can create a psychic block “shutting down” spectators in fear andnervousness, rather than remaining open to what is occurring around them (Grotowski,1968). Theatre brings together private and public truths to confront one another, whilegenerating a new social reality. Bleeding life into art allows the benefit of both to blend68into a new, richer way of being (Figure 8). Not recognizing, welcoming and engagingwith often-silenced worlds perpetuate Grotowski’s concern of abandonment occurring insociety by the centre, of the margins (Wolford, 1996). Absurdism questions the blindspots of the status quo, while disrupting surface harmony.Summary: Adult Popular Education Performatively InquiringThe broad conceptual framing for this research is radical humanism. Within this, thetransformation of relationships within subjectively constructed worlds is key. Within thisperspective, the philosophy and use of adult education as developed and fostered byFreire was drawn on. Popular adult education’s practice, principles and assumptions ofandragogy, as initially formulated by Lindemann, and later on Knowles, help informadult learning. Within the continuum set out by Rogers (2003), this study fits within thenegotiated and flexible structure of participatory education.A key aspect of popular education is drawing on the histories of learners within anexperiential atmosphere. Because performative inquiry’s focus is on the cast’sinteractions and creations, it too relies on experience as a process for learning. As withinradical humanism, performative inquiry works within relationships as sites for learningand social transformation. Within this study, performative inquiry is the researchmethodology and popular theatre process is incorporated alongside absurdist forms. Aswith popular theatre, performative inquiry blends physicality (knowing one’s body,making the body expressive, theatre as language, and theatre as discourse) with memoriesstored within one’s body. The psychological, emotional, experiential, lived, spiritual andmindful wholeness of what comprises a person is brought into play. The final piece,absurdism, is the most abstract of the four (performative inquiry, popular theatre,69existentialism and absurdism). The framing of performative inquiry creates openness,while incorporating individual selves, their life experiences and the larger society. Thiscorrespondence deepens explorations of performance to point out disempowerment andunfairness within society, particularly around non-visible oppression and inequities ofpower, identity and voice. The ability to freely associate, to create new knowledgethrough performative interactions, opens doors for possible new growth and(re)generation of identity and awareness. These opportunities are why the purposes ofthis study were achieved, namely, to disrupt “normal” ways of thinking about psychiatricdiversity by challenging prevailing notions of mental “illness” and create betterrelationships between psychiatrically diagnosed and other people. For an understandingof where performative inquiry would fit into the continuum of quantitative-qualitativeresearch paradigms please see Appendix A. The next chapter provides a brief outline ofdetails as to how the research was carried out: finding participants, the procedures taken,and how awareness was tracked.70CHAPTER THREEPROCEDURES: FOOTPRINTS OF THE STUDYIntroductionThe previous chapter explores the methodological framework within this research. Thisstudy was fixed within a radical humanist view. Also, the exploration linked popularadult education to performative inquiry and popular theatre process with absurdist forms.This chapter is a description of reflective practice. A brief description of the steps takento create the theatre experience is described within this procedures section.There is no “recipe” or “formula” for carrying out a performative inquiry orpopular theatre performance. The “footprints,” described here, were revealed in theirtreading. The process was marked by chaos and ambiguity. Flexibility to adapt to changein the midst of the process was critical. By outlining, in an overview, what these cosearchers did in this inquiry does not suggest that if the same steps were followed, similarthings would occur. Many abilities, dynamics, circumstances, experiences, stories,individuals and interpretations came together to create this experience. What follows is,but one unfolding, from an infinite number of possibilities.Gathering the Co-SearchersBefore starting the study September 19, 2002, I moved to Duncan early the previous year.I took a teaching position at a local college. Living and working within the town servedtwo purposes: first, I had an insider’s view of the local culture and second, I was,hopefully, known and approachable when I began my performative inquiry.I placed a newspaper advertisement inviting anyone in the Cowichan Valleyfeeling socially excluded to explore the project of rural marginalization (Appendix E).My initial community contact meeting (set up as in Figure 9 on page 77) the week prior,71resulted in more than 25 people attending. Individuals experiencing addiction, childhoodabuse, poverty, and disability arrived to hear about the project. At the second meeting, agroup of members, with a counsellor from the local Open Door clubhouse, of Duncan’sMental Health Department, arrived at the community centre. One person in that group,Buster, came to the initial recruitment get-together, the week prior. Going back to tellother members about the initial meeting and the prospect of creating theatre, brought outmany individuals from “the house” the following week. While people from the CowichanValley came out to explore the project, it was a group from Open Door that adopted theprocess of performative inquiry being offered as a way to make known their voice, storiesand lives.Over nine months of meetings, 20 psychiatric survivors experienced the theatreworkshops supporting this research. Cast members came from a variety of backgrounds.Taking various paths, they journeyed their way to this small town. A few had lived hereall their lives; others came from large cities. All found themselves within this one place,in this tiny theatre group. Throughout the study, several people from Open Door took insome of the workshops. Seven stayed through to the end. Six joined part way through andseven participated for three to thirteen sessions and never returned. Everyoneparticipating in the workshops is included in the list of participants. Of the thirteenpresenting in the performance, seven had come the full way through the project from thebeginning. The list, that follows, includes both co-searchers in this performative inquiryand cast members in the theatre production that followed:“Buster”(Keaton)Buster, in his late 30s, had been a client of the mental health system formany years. Prior to his entry into the system, Buster worked for Ontario72Hydro as a lineman. For many years, Buster was not diagnosed, orlabelled, with a particular disorder because he did not seek help. He knewsomething was not right, but left his situation undiagnosed. Eventually, hewas diagnosed with schizophrenia a decade ago. More recently, Busterwas diagnosed with bipolar disorder. He worked at odd jobs around thetown in an effort to remain off the disability system. Buster was one ofthe first people to join the group and stayed with the cast through to themain performance and the fringe festival in 2003.“Tallulah”(Bankhead)Tallulah, in her mid 30s, had been a mental health services client for manyyears. Prior to her entry into the system, Tallulah worked as an executiveassistant and was married to a successful and wealthy husband. In her mid20s, Tallulah was diagnosed, or labelled, with obsession compulsion,bipolar disorder and depression. Tallulah was one of the first people tojoin the group and stayed with the cast through the main performance andthe fringe festival performances in 2003“Amelia”(Earhart)Amelia, in her late 30s, had been a client of the mental health system formany years. Prior to her entry into the system Amelia worked in restaurantmanagement. Eventually Amelia was diagnosed, or labelled, withobsession compulsion, agoraphobia and depression. Amelia joined thegroup a month after it had started and continued on through to the mainperformance and the fringe festival performances in 2003.“Cary”(Grant)Cary, in his early 60s, and had been within the mental health system formany years. He has a dry wit and razor sharp observation of people andlife. Cary’s diagnosis, or labelling, of schizophrenia occurred during hisfirst year of university when he was studying for his B.Ed. Cary joined thegroup early on and stayed with the group through the main performance,fringe festival performances in 2003 and a new project in 2004/2005.“Sandy”Sandy was in her late 30s and one of the first people to join the group.Sandy did not stay long as the energy the cast expended during the earlysessions of games and exercises proved too much for her. She left after afew weeks.7/3“Bette”(Mid/er)Bette was in her early 40s and a stay-at-home mom raising 2 children (onechild was diagnosed with autism). Bette was a world-level competitiveathlete in her 20s. During her marriage and the raising of her family, Bettewas diagnosed, or labelled, with bipolar disorder. The effect of thisdiagnosis, or labelling, on her life included a divorce, raising her familyalone, and living on disability payments. Bette arrived later in the first partof the process and then was absent due to some major drug adjustmentsgoing on. Bette, however, did return just in time to participate in the mainperformance and the fringe festival performances in 2003. Bette, shortlyafter the project, was decreed, or labelled, healthy and normal. Since theproject she has worked at a university as an administrative assistant andspeaker on mental health experience issues at local colleges.“Joan”(Baez)Joan, in her late 40s, had been in the mental health system for many years,diagnosed, or labelled, with a slow cycle bipolar disorder. Joan wassomeone identifring strongly with the 1960s era, particularly with themusic of the times. Joan used to work in administrative management andlived comfortably prior to being diagnosed, or labelled, in her early 30s.Joan arrived as one of the first to join the group in September 2002 andstayed through the process, including the main show and the fringe festivalin September 2003. For Joan, being a “slow cycler,” her depressiveperiods were quite long, so an issue was timing the show before or afterone of these low episodes. She was quite thrilled with the way thingsworked out.“Jimmi”(Hendrix)Jimmi, in his 30s, had been in the mental health system for many yearsand was diagnosed with schizophrenia and an addiction (brought aboutthrough the combination of alcohol and marijuana). Prior to appearing inthe play, Jimmi grew up in the U.S. Jimmi’s passion was his music. Hewrote and sang his own songs. The week before the performance Jimmicame to a rehearsal and asked if he could play his guitar during theperformance. He provided transitional music during the poultry barn andfringe festival performances. Jimmi’ s focus was to get his songs out to thepublic to hear. During a second project following Shaken: Not Disturbed,Jimmi wrote a number of new songs for our follow-up show.“Sidney”(Poitier)The writer of this study, a co-researcher and a cast member within thisexperience: I, as Sidney, wrote about the research. Just as I have74described the cast, I drew on responses from interviews with cast membersto have them describe their perception of me. You’re gay — I’m not — that ‘.sthe worst thing to be called - but you ‘re okay (Buster, Interview 7, p.36);hehehe you ‘re like the big guy in Mary Poppins — drinking tea on theceiling with those kids.... You laugh a lot (Tallulah, Interview, 24)... Youreally needed to have a lot tighter control on things and we needed toknow what to lookfor.... (Katherine, Interview 10, p. 18). How do you getpeople to trust you so well— you definitely have talent (Amelia, Interview6, p.35). Social workers want to talk, they don’t want to listen —you listenSidney (Jimmi, May 14, 2005).“Glenda”(Jackson)Glenda was in her mid-30s and a student in mental health studies. Becauseshe was unemployed, she returned to school for upgrading. Glenda arrivedin our group in January for the play development process and wasinterested in theatre as a community and therapeutic intervention. Glendaperformed in the main performance and the fringe festival performances in2003.“Jean”(Seberg)Jean was a social worker in her early 40s working with many in the cast.She had some background in dance and theatre and was a self-describedfeminist in her beliefs and perspective. Jean was with the group from thebeginning. Jean played important roles in both the main performance andthe fringe festival performances in 2003, as well as our project work in2004-2005.“Joni”(Mitchell)Joni was an artist and educator in her 40s, with some training in populartheatre as envisioned by David Diamond of Headlines Theatre inVancouver. Joni was an immigrant from South Africa and lived withlimited financial means. Joni arrived in January, in time for the playdevelopment process leading up to the performance. Joni participated inthe main performance, but she did not participate in the fringe festivalperformance.“Katherine”(Hepburn)Katherine was my early 30s neighbour whose background was inbehavioural counselling. She was invited into the group as the embeddedcounsellor to assist with counselling and therapy issues coming up from75time to time during the work within the group. Katherine was the firstperson in the group and was involved through to the main performance,but not the fringe festival.“Lauren”(Bacall)Lauren was a masters’ student in her 30s in the field of counselling andwas focussed on narrative (readers’ theatre) therapy and somaticcounselling. Lauren arrived in January in time for the play productionphase, participated with the technical aspects and acted during theperformance. Lauren stayed through the main stage and the fringe festivalperformances in 2003.“Ron”(Howard)Ron was in his 20s and from Victoria, BC. He had been diagnosed withschizophrenia and was looking to re-enter the workforce. Because ofdistance, season, transportation, and his re-entry into employment, Ronleft the group just prior to the play production process.“John”(Belushi)John was in his 20s and was one of the first people to join the group.John’s background included having family members with a diagnosis, andlabel, of bipolar disorder: he was similarly identified. Though this isunclear, John did mention he had been a user of crack-cocaine; a link mayexist between this substance use and the triggering of his mental healthissues. John left immediately before the play development process began.“Sally”(Field)Sally was in her early 40s and one of the first people to join the group.Sally did not stay long because the energy expended during the earlysessions of games and exercises proved to be too much for Sally. She leftafter a few weeks. Sally was very politically aware and brought some veryinnovative ideas with her.“Shirley”(MacLame)Shirley arrived after Christmas and was part of the earlier playdevelopment process. She had emigrated from Toronto, Ontario and wasexperiencing culture shock since moving to rural Vancouver Island.Shirley was in her late 40s and diagnosed, and labelled, withschizophrenia at the age of 28. This was early in her marriage. Since beingdiagnosed, and labelled, she was abandoned by her family, including a76divorce from her husband. This changed recently. With her daughterasking Shirley to return home, she took up the invitation; however, thismeant the cast lost Shirley’s potential contributions.“Bea”(Arthur)Bea arrived mid way in the early portion of the process and stayed forabout two months before leaving.“Georgia”(Engel)Georgia arrived mid way in the early portion of the process and was shy.She participated in two or three sessions.How Insights EmergedThe meeting following the initial community contact, at the community centre’s rehearsal hall,was filled with hope and optimism. I thought through, for days, how to form the group. Drawingon popular theatre exercises as my set of resources, while keeping in mind performativeinquiry’s approach, pieces gradually emerged as the group of co-searchers slowly developed.Assembled in the room, the first evening of our rehearsals, was a group living with a variety ofsingle and multiple psychiatric diagnoses. Under the mental “illness” umbrella, labels included:schizophrenia, agoraphobia, substance abuse, social phobias, obsession-compulsion disorder,uni-polar depression and bipolar disorder.Figure 9: The opening circle77Stages In The ProcessThe general moments the group passed through, in chronological order, were:• Group Formation— A local group of individuals invited me in to talkabout process and determine whether there was a “fit” with what thepotential co-searchers wanted to experience. Theatre games andexercises were used to foster cohesion and familiarity amongmembers. (3 months)• Exploring Theatrical Expression — An exploration of expressionthrough acting including voice, body movement, story, sounds, visualpictures, dance and use of space. Codifying or telling stories and“unpacking” narratives or decodifying performatively. (3 months)• Performance Development — Exploration of life experiencesdramatically with a focus on creating some sense of “production.” Theblending of theatre with remembered stories for some form ofretelling. (3 months)• Presentation— All aspects of moving a sense of whole into a showingfor an audience or witness the work. This period included rehearsals,constructing physical elements for the production, the performanceitself and whatever immediately followed. (2 weeks)• Post Production- This period followed for some time after the showwhen cast members were brought together to talk about theirexperiences, spectators were interviewed to gather their responses andI reflected on everything that had occurred in order to get a sense ofthe holistic quality of the performance. (3 months)• Social Action— Sometimes the cast and/or the audience determinedthat a collective response needed to occur. This reaction was based onthe experience of the popular theatre production. The aim was animprovement in the social, economic, political or life opportunities ofthe group. This included another experience of popular theatre, whichwas meant to be cyclical rather than a singular or once-onlyexperience. (1 month)• New Cycle— Based on what had come before, there was a period ofjoining what had occurred in a prior popular theatre offering to ananticipated experience of additional theatre making. Shaken: NotDisturbed, with its linking between adults living with mental disorderdiagnoses was connected with youth at-risk behaviours, notably crystalmeth in local high schools, through the performance of CrystalDiagnosis. (2 months)78Entering the Liminality of Our WorkThe sanctity of our ritual grew as it developed into four phases: entering in, being in,exploring in and closing out our ceremony of learning, or:• Checking in and a period of yoga and movement (30 minutes)• Theatre games and exercises (30 minutes)• Main idea for exploration (60 minutes)• Closure: Final thoughts and guided meditation (30 minutes)Each session began with a “check-in” to find out who was present, andcomprehend each person’s energy level and connectedness to the space and each other.This was done to help shift way from learners’ preoccupations rooted in everyday livingto our enclosed, ritualized and contained space. Sometimes this check-in was formallydone in a circle; other times it was done more casually, depending on moods andenergies. Following the more social period, the group focussed on yoga and dance.During these early sessions, the second episode involved theatre games and exercises toreconnect physical body to relatively unstructured play and physical communication.The mid-section of our evenings together was the main “container” for our work.This period held our performative inquiries for a particular evening. Once time was takento connect bodies and their presences in the space, aspects of theatre were rehearsed.After the initial three months of games and exercises, explorations into what theatreincluded were added to what the group did for an additional II meetings.Closing Our Threshold WorldThrough the use of quiet instrumental music, nature sounds, a guided meditative processand deep breathing and reflecting, our weekly meetings came to a close. Each evening,79the process began by moving individuals’ focus to inside the space. For an intense period,there was much collective interaction and learning. Gradually, the concentration returnedto individual mind-bodies’ preparation for rejoining their day-to-day lives. Occasionally,as co-searchers focussed on breathing and feeling, I asked them to sense their bodiespressing against the floor. When ready, they were requested to roll on their sides.Continuing with their eyes closed and finding a pen and paper beside them, eachenvisioned the imprint of their body on the floor. Through a process of elimination, eachperson’s sketch was identified. Observations made about each person’s sketch wereinteresting. For some, pieces of bodies were “missing.” For others, shapes werereminiscent of the fetal position (a dependence) or of a silhouette of defiance. This wasdone several times with diverse responses. Cast members realized shapes reflected peoplein a particular session, rather than a consistent vision.Sources of UnderstandingInterpretations within this study were from:• Field notes taken throughout the process (audio taped, each lasting, onaverage, 30 minutes of reflection for a total of 17 hours of audiotape or200 pages of field notes).• Two sets of 45-minute interviews with regard to mental health clientsand one set of 30-minute interviews relating to the embeddedcounsellors (total taping time was 15 hours or 250 pages of memberinterviews)• Fifteen one-hour interviews with audience members (total taping timewas 15 hours or 250 pages of audience interviews.• Documents constructed during the process included 45 flipchart pages,the three versions of scene descriptions; 7 newspaper articles/reviewsdone with regard to the play, and letters and notes from participants.• Three video tapes of the two different performances: the first was ofthe 2-hour dress rehearsal carried out on May 10, 2004; the second80was the 2-hour recording of the main May 2003 performance; the thirdwas one of the 90-minute fringe presentations in September 2003.With all the information constructed and gathered, the reflecting and interpretingfor this writing emerged into the following process. The first stage of reflection camefrom cast members’ understanding of life within mental diversity. Through much of whatwas discussed, a show presenting the group’s performative inquiry was displayed forcommunity “reading.” As the production evolved, the view of scenes and acts (AppendixH) were conjured through the deciphering of understanding to deepen the symbolism andmeaning of experience.Thoughts From the FieldThe words, jointly constructed through conversation, interaction and performance wererecorded. Repetitively attending to each word of an interview and performance video cocreates a strong understanding of language and meaning. Repeatedly listening to andreading the text, co-created and performed in the field, is an opportunity to peel backlayers of awareness. Each block quote was numbered so I could refer back to it, ifneeded. As I engaged with the words, phrases, metaphors and stories of cast members, Iwrote various interpretive, process, and notes about meaning (Figure 10). A searchcontinued into understanding the experience of making popular theatre through reflectingupon “moments of recognition” in the story.Conceptual InterpretationThe last phase of my interpretation moved from the level of questions to the emergingrelationships around the connections of identity, voice, and personal power. Lastly,interconnections informing the guiding question (What shfls occur within a group of81rural adults living with mental disorder(s) as it developed andpresented an absurdistpopular theatre community production?) and purposes (to disrupt “normal” ways ofthinking about psychiatric diversity by challengingprevailing notions ofmental “illness”and (ii) create better relationships between psychiatrically diagnosed and other people)framed this study.2_________z.rj)C0I____• IDENTITY• VOICE• PERSONALPOWERRESEARCHQUESTIONLabels &MemosFigure 10: Analysis process of textual dataCast ReflectionsA key source of “analysis,” or reflective interpretation, was the cast members. Throughtelling their stories, performative inquiring within theatre created opportunities forembodied interstanding of narratives. Most notable was the relationship of psychiatricsurvivors within the mental mainstream. By interpreting responses of others around them,considered as “normal,” the group became aware of parts of themselves previouslyhidden. Interpretations of experience revealed by this research were the performance.Twenty-seven scenes covering topics including: (un)employment, caring relationships,82politics, money, and futures of people diagnosed, or labelled, with mental disorderscreated an album of clearly focussed vignettes of life.Audience ReflectionsBetween two and twelve weeks following the main show, a series of 15 sixty-minuteinterviews (one on one and focus groups) were carried out. Interviews were semi-structured with much of the conversation remaining open for audience members as theyreflected on the show. Typically, spectators covered initial expectations, impressions,what was and was not liked, key moments of insight and general comments.A Bare Wallfor Enactive InterpretationOnce the notes and ideas were made and gathered together, finding a large surface towork on was critical. Living in a large, old house our upstairs hallway ran for twenty feetand was nine feet high. Surely 180 square feet was enough! I transferred all thereflections, ideas, and thoughts (numbering 347) to index cards and taped them up on thewall’s expanse in a chaotic and random way. I used time to let those pieces of insight toliterally sift into some sense of whole. Occasionally, a reflection changed as it resonatedwith similar ideas on the wall. When I made amendments, I went back to the originalinterview or performance to pull the quote from where the original notion emerged. Inthis way, words from the field were gradually “pulled through” my interpretations andreflections into this writing.Facilitator ReflectionsTime played a central role in making sense of bits of concepts scribbled on paper. Duringthis period of my reflecting, I brought in three key ideas emerging from the work: voice,83identity, and personalpower. As I read and re-read the index cards organized on the wallbefore me, I slowly moved ideas I felt fit under one or other of the three concepts.Sometimes notions appeared within more than one category. In these cases, copies ofthemes were made so they appeared under more than one label; sometimes all threereceived the same card. At times, papers shifted back and forth several times amongreflections because of ambiguity. This uncertainty continued even as later processesbegan.After each week’s session, I used a Dictaphone to record immediate thoughts,impressions and process ideas for future meetings. Once orally noted, these weretranscribed to deepen my reflections. Included were emotional moments, tensions,doubts, successes and connections, which led profound theoretical reflecting. Initialreflections involved notions of identity, voice and power within the conceptualframework of critical disability theory and psychiatric impairments. From thesereflections, my writing began to make further connections resulting in this report.Emerging PossibilitiesOnce all the interpretations were distributed among the three anchoring concepts of voice,identity, and personalpower, questions were created. Within the main theme of identity,additional queries emerged, for example, why are cast members continually perceived asscary like those portrayed on TV, and not capable, creative, able to contribute to thetown, and as having skills? When one considers the suggestions the cast made for societyto help them live better (Table 7), it is clear, more listening to their stories and adviceneeds to occur. The same exercise was carried out within power and voice. Questionsemerged to deepen the interstanding of mental diversity by the co-searchers, audience84and me. Once queries were found, each grouping was interpreted. It was to these newreflections my attention shifted. I was curious about how these questions related to oneanother and to the overarching direction. What were the relationships supporting voice,power, and identity? How did fear and new awareness of capabilities support or negateself-concept?SummaryThis chapter lays out steps taken within this study over a one-year period. My purposeswere to disrupt “normal” ways of thinking about psychiatric diversity by challengingprevailing notions of mental “illness” and create better relationships betweenpsychiatrically diagnosed and other people. To achieve these aims, I had to focus onbonding with the local community before any research could take place. Each stagewithin the process was described, as were divisions within weekly meetings. Sources of“data” construction were highlighted and the reflections that drew on these interstandingsdescribed. The importance of cast, audience and personal reflections drew this chapter toa close in preparation of a more detailed exploration of what occurred within this inquiry.Chapter 4 explores how and where connections were made within the inquiry. Thesemoments ofrecognition supported the popular performance involving psychiatricsurvivors’ life experiences and reflective “reading” of the mainstream.85CHAPTER FOURCHAOTIC COMPLEXITY:CO-SEARCHING IN THE CROSSROADS“... then all ofa sudden people came and they sat around the garden and then wewere standing by what we hadplanted and then there was a show and it was likenobody realized it until the end and we were like how ‘d that happen? “(TaIIuIah,Interview 6, p. 4).IntroductionThe previous chapter discussed procedures used within this performative inquiry. In thischapter, the focus is a reflective composition of what we, as a group, did and howdynamics of relationship and learning co-evolved as members explored histories andexperiences among cast members. Associations of meaning and processes for makingsense of what occurred are also covered. The first part of the chapter reviews the cast’sdevelopment and the co-researching it conducted. The gradual evolution that emanatedfrom the weekly inquiries led to the group’s uniquely heightened understanding of theworld. As within an enactivist mode, the environment of the group affected theemergence of learning, while broadening potential for opportunities on the horizon(Sumara & Davis, 1 997a) as described in Chapter 2.Grounding ideas create relationships supporting three themes. Power, identity,and voice are woven together from a particular vantage point: Chapter 5 explores theperspective of the co-searchers, Chapter 6 offers views from audience members andChapter 7 are my reflections. Like any process where individuals previously unknown toone another come together, the evolution was not easy, smooth, or predictable. Thisprocess was tentative, open, flexible and, yet, bounded within a particular context.86Emergent Chaos as Home PlaceI arrived in this project with my own biases about mental “illness.” Through theeducation I received, working with the group, my awareness grew as to how much of myown understanding drew from the pervasive influence of media characterizations ofindividuals with psychiatric diagnoses. In those early days of working together, I subtlylearned to change my demeanour from speaking softly, being over-cautious with my useof language and standing just a little farther away, to being up front and open with myown experience and what I did not know. As group members shared their experiences ofeveryday living, framing everything within mental disorder gradually made sense for me.Co-searchers explored life issues, not mental ones. Initially though, I was guilty of whatsociety, generally, did when faced with someone labelled as mentally “ill.”I’ve been in Duncan for a long time, and I lived with General Deliveryforten years. At the post office- the post office in town. A lot ofpeople withmental illness get their mail there. There was general delivery. ... Therewas . . .people who... some people who find them scary. Some people likeCary. . .find people . . .find him scary looking ‘cause he ‘s very tall and bigand he ‘s got wild hair and at first he had the wild beard. But you see Ihave known Cary for twenty-five years or more. So it ‘s easier. Like I saidsome ofthese people [in the cast] I’ve known or met before. (Josette, p. 5)I had to understand key issues before supporting the group effectively. Memberslive with impairments. More profound is society’s handicapping attitudes because itforecloses a person’s identity and opportunity. Within those first few meetings, much wasopen to negotiation. Jean, a social worker accompanying many in the cast, pulled measide at the end of the first evening to ask if I could change the rehearsal structure. Frommy notes, I gleaned the following points:87Thefour hour blockstoo long.We need to shorten them to two hours.Oh.... and twice a weektoo many.Let’s aim for once a week...While energy levels for most people dissipate later in the day, many living withpsychiatric disorders experience a more pronounced drop in stamina. Four hours was along time to be active during this low-energy period. The beginning time of 6:30 p.m.was well suited as it was shortly after dinner at the Open Door and early enough for thegroup to engage in physical activity. However, Jean suggested sessions be cut to twohours and once a week. As the group became more accustomed to the activity, the timewas extended to three hours or more, but months later.Another issue raised, by Jean, was the necessity to find another space for ourmeetings. Within the community centre (our first meeting location), the rehearsal hailwas also the “green room” for incoming professional arts companies, which requiredconstant shuffling of the group to other rooms in the building whenever a road tour wasin town. Adding to the initial chaos, the group shifted the days it met in a given weekbecause of scheduling conflicts. While it was not the best situation, confusion wasreduced with a printed schedule. Changes to routines were not handled well byindividual group members. Inconsistency had to be minimizedOh.... and switching rooms and some days too complicated.The group needs consistency predictability.88Let’s move to another spaceAnd so a new meeting place was found, which allowed us to establish a setschedule. By moving to a new location, relational power was transformed because allmembers entered a new space together. No one had a past attachment to it, yet all of us“owned” the future of our new place. Within the new location, everyone took part in thedevelopment of the group’s ritual of meeting weekly. So began the perpetual shifting,shaping, and opening up of the process used within our explorations. The experience oflearning to work together, collaboratively, was found through the group holding hands asone; all leading and being led by one another, no individual in complete control of theprocess. The research project quickly stopped being my venture; it became our collectiveexperience and our ritual. Yet, one other major obstacle existed, which I had notpreviously anticipated. Prejudice does reside within all individuals, including a groupsuch as this, and was presented during the first round of cast interviews.....I’ll tell you now... I’m homophobic...yeah to a certain extent and ....thevoices kept calling me queer... and for some reason ... call me queer,faggot and stuff Andfor some reason ... it was the most hurtful thing thatthey could say to me. And ... and... and it ... and it would hammer at meday and night you know ... and then I tried to commit suicide with.pills... so you know ... so it was something along those lines.. .you don ‘thave to use that exact example but . . .you know .. .you know ... when youget that negative voice in your head ... you know it can really ... reallyget to you ... you know. Like it was . . .for some reason ... it was the worstthing that ... that someone could call me. It still irritates me you knowwhen somebody calls me that today. Like it’s ... I don ‘t know why I ... butthat ‘s the button that I got. The worst thing that you could call me.... likeI’ve got nothing against any... you know... whether you’re ... straight orgay or whatever but for some reason it pisses me off... when people callme that ...so ...you know and ... I wasn’t taking medication for years andand this woman ‘s voice kept calling me gay or queer or whatever youknow. And ... for some reason it was the worst thing that this ... voice inmy head could call me. And therefore you know ... so you know . . .you89could use whatever you want to you know.. .just I guess everybody’s got asoft spot for something negative and that happened to be mine soft spot.And you know . . .you know ... .1 ... that was a bad experience (Buster2, p.9).Buster, the first member of the group, discussed what he described as the worstinsult someone could throw at him: faggot. He readily stated he was homophobic. Whensomeone placed the label on him it would “hammer at me day and night” (Buster 2, p. 9)to the point he tried to commit suicide. Initially, I worried that Buster’s homophobiawould negatively affect the group, or in his relationship with me. However, having othersin the group being gay or lesbian did not seem to matter throughout the life of the cast.Despite Buster’s struggles around homophobia, everyone in the cast became friends.Through our own uniqueness, members learned something of the “other,” because of oursimilarities as well as our differences.Ordered Chaos: Where The Study ResidesPopular theatre and performative inquiry begins with the body-context. The physicality ofmarginality was where our work began: in the murkiness of biographies, expectations,comforts and risk. The first eleven meetings of our exploring, were spent becomingacquainted with a room full of strangers: to transform our assembly of individuals into acollective. Our physical, interacting, emotional, cognitive, spiritual and psychologicalbeings within the emergent ritual were in flux continually. Space was often messy,tentative, questioning, risk-filled, and chaotic. The air contained much laughter,sensitivity, encouragement, support, animation, playing, and fun. As time progressed, thestructure evolved through a ritual being called forth each time the group came together.Early in the process, the power of physical communication and meaning makingbecame evident. An early exercise was the Boalian “Hypnosis” activity, whereby one90person held up a hand in front of the face of her/his partner. The person staring at thehand became “hypnotized.” This person followed wherever the hand “led.” The“hypnotizer” was effectively in “control” of another. A variation of this activity waswhen one person was “hypnotizing” two people simultaneously by having eachparticipant use both hands to guide the faces of two people. Everyone took turns leadingand following. The marked sense of power over others was profound for group members.It’s awesome to know that I can have this much power over someone else.I always thought that I had to follow orders. (Amelia, Interview 20, p. 4)Within our performance, pill bottles replaced hands guiding the face of a person;they became a symbol of psychiatric control over bodies and thoughts. This experiencewas the first of several exercises evolving into production elements because of itsrelevance to members.The Vessel Holding Our ExplorationsThe process that unfolded was elusive. It is impossible to point to any particular activityor series of drama exercises and say this is what created interstanding. Naming our sharedperformative experience was not as important as “feeling” that something was occurring.Our inquiries into physical expression “contained” our weekly play-full and creativeefforts. Tallulah described the group’s evolution like planting a garden.it was as fnobody knew that you were planting... like a garden right. Likeit was as if... it seemed to me ... I don ‘t know about everybody else but itwas like .. .you know you were like... you were like ... okay everybodycome and run on the mud and then it was like you know you ‘d . . .you ‘d belike here ...andyou would put seeds in our pockets... like the socks in ourpockets for playing tag ... that’s what it was like. And so the seeds werethere ... and then all ofa sudden... you know ... the sun would come andthe rain would come and the sun would come and the rain would comeand that would be the therapy. When we were talking about our good daysand our bad days ... and we didn ‘t realize that all ofthis ... you know91everything was growing in the garden. And then all of a sudden peoplecame and they sat around the garden and then we were standing by whatwe hadplanted and then there was a show and it was like nobody realizedit until the end and we were like - how ‘d that happen? (Tallulah 2, p. 11)The metaphor Bette used was baking.I think what you did was you helped bring it together ... .you were the flourin the cake mix you know we were all a bunch of little eggs and milkand all those other kinds of things but you were the solidfying agent ... inall of that ... you helped ... so like ... okay you know we were drippingover the edges ... you would bring us back into the bowl and mix ustogether and get us baked you know ... that was kind of the idea right(Bette, p. 7)Reviewing the early sessions and the mid-point of our time together, games andexercises that I introduced to the group involved playing with rhythm, blind games, trustexercises, fast games such as tag, listening exercises like Ha, observing as within Falling,slow motion tag and foot races, the ability to physically work together in the Circle ofKnots, Person-to-Person, Sticky Paper and so on. The intent was to keep the atmospherealive and fun with games, both physical and sensory, while working from the individualtoward group work. Also, during the second and third stages when the group wasexploring theatrical expression and developing a performance these exercises reappeared.The middle hour of our weekly time together allowed for this burst of energy andanimation to occur. The middle six of our nine months were more performance oriented.Theatre processes became the focus for the mid hour. For about eleven meetings, gamesshifted to include practicing using emotions, interacting within imagined situations, danceand movement, telling stories, voice, and working with bodies to create meaning. Someearly discoveries within this work included the realization by participants that emotionscan be controlled.92The Emotional WalkDuring this exercise, (Figure 11) members wrote words containing labelled emotions onlarge sheets of paper and scattered these on the floor. The object of the exercise was towork in pairs, carry on a conversation and work through a variety of emotions as thetwosome spoke about favourite movies, food and so on. Each pair suggested a topic ofconversation and walked around the room chatting. As they stepped on or over a sheet ofpaper with a particular emotion, the conversational tone shifted to reflect the feeling.igure 11: Emotional walkThe first phase the couple walked slowly around the room, shifting theiremotions. The second phase was a fast walk around the room carrying on the same thing,and finally the couples ran through the space shifting emotions rapidly as they went.Amelia found the experience to be a “moment of recognition.”I discovered that I can control my emotions — I always believed thatemotions controlled me and that’s why I always feel out ofcontrol... now Icanjust tell myselfwhat I want to feel (Amelia, Interview 20, p. 7)She believed emotions were out of her control; they managed her actions. ForAmelia, this became a significant shift in her understanding of herself. To find she couldturn feelings off and on was novel and powerful for her as well as for Joan.okay that reminds me of that ... recently we ‘ye done it twice. When you.you know run around.. .first of all we write down c4fferent feelings. Youwrite down . . .you know... happy, sad, or whatever ... love ... . and learninghow to portray it. And then seeing which ones you can really do. For me itwas which ones I could do convincingly and then learning something93about myself.. .you know ... I think there ‘s a lot ofanger around ... havingto have this illness for me. Yeah ... dealing with it ... and ... then I thoughtoh gosh I can .. .1 can either do like the really angry people ... and the..really happy . . .you know ... but the in-between emotions .. .1found reallyhard to portray . . .you know. Like ..I don ‘t know how other people do itbut you alsofeed offthe person you are doing it with too... (Joan 1, p. 8)Joan experienced emotions as part of relating between people, so feelings werenot solely embodied in one person or another, but arose from within interactions amongmembers. Nor were emotions the result of one person. Two or more people engagedtogether were responsible for one another’s moods. Both Amelia and Joan created deeperawareness around this leading up to the popular performance.BodyguardsAnother exercise involved a group of five. One person stood with four others; one oneither side of the first person, one behind and another in front, all looking in the samedirection. The middle person began to move with the others acting as bodyguards,mirroring what the middle person did, turning their heads as little as possible. Tallulahfound this exercise powerful because one person had control over four other bodies.That exercise we do in fives — that mirror exercise — that is so awesome —without saying a word other people follow what I do — that’s powerful(Tallulah, Interview 12, p. 8).Jean thought the bodyguard exercise could be used as a dance piece for the show.The Bodyguards exercise ultimately did become a robotic movement piece in Shakendepicting the automaton-like nature of employed society.We ‘ye got to do this in the show— I love doing the bodyguards— it reallyis connected to movement and how worlds get constructed throughmovement and how bodies get positioned to serve particular needs —Tallulah and I can work on a movement piece (Jean, infield notes, page45)94Have You Seen My FriendThe game Have You Seen My Friend was played many times and was Fruit bowl with thename altered. The idea and action of searching for allies and friendships struck a chordfor everyone in the group. A turn was carried out through a person walking around thecircle of group members (all are looking inward to the centre of the circle), then stopping,and tapping one of the members on the shoulder. The person turns around to listen to theindividual outside the circle. The player outside the circle asked the tapped participant,“Have you seen my friend?” The person singled out responded, “No, what do they looklike?” The answer from the seeker was, “Well, they wear (blue jeans, red, glasses,shoes, sandals, etc.)” Everyone wearing what was described in the circle had to run thecircumference of the circle and get back to a spot before other people running the circletook all available places. The suspense-filled cue of “Have you seen my friend?” coupledwith screaming, laughing and joy was not lost on any member of the group. We wereamong friends: we could stop looking. This was the humbling power of workingcollectively.BombardmentThis exercise explored relationships captured in phrases combined with physicality. Aperson selected a role or person to name. Group members thought of possible people in afictionalized person’s life and developed a phrase likely to be spoken within a particularrelationship. Lastly, a physical shape or posture to reflect the inner personality of eachrelationship was portrayed through a frozen image. The central person to all therelationships stood in the centre of the circle of the group. One at a time, and randomly,group members in their “roles” walked in, held his/her posture, said a phrase and returned95to the outer edge of the circle. This allowed each person to try out a role briefly andreturn to him-/herself. Gradually, and with increasing intensity the “cast” went in twosand then threes to speak their phrases and hold their positions before returning to theouter circle. Eventually, the entire group was huddled around the central person, andbombarded the person with various phrases and postures all at once. Each personreceived an opportunity to try it out, not everyone did. Contrary to other exercisescreating a sense of power fullness, this exercise created the opposite. Often the centreperson put him-/herself in a position of subservience and powerlessness.The exercise was a depiction of their collective erasure within society. They werespoken to or about, rather than with. This feeling, coupled with the bombardmentexercise, was an incarnation of the reality of schizophrenia for those living with a labeland disorder. Rather than leave the exercise in what could have been a negativeexperience, I asked if there was something instructive in this, to turn into a moment ofperformative excavation educating an audience. Immediately the response was“yes.. .turn the audience into a type of schizophrenic brain.. .turn the exercise outwardtoward the spectators.” So began an early element within the performance; what wouldultimately turn into the opening act: “Freak Show” (Appendix H). Quickly, the grouprealized two important lessons: The first lesson was they learned to stop asking me,handing their power to me, “What are YOU lookingfor?”The second was they took control over the process as they contributed to themaking of the performance, “I don ‘t like that, let’s try this. “No notion existed for whatwas sought, so there was no idea what the result was. The search had to be co-created andcarried out collectively. This meant all had an opportunity to contribute. Everyone’s96offering was equal to any other person’s. At times a unilateral decision had to be made(but what the decision was and its rationale was discussed with the group), but as muchas possible, opportunity existed to veto if the group did not agree. Dissent wasencouraged. Through working together, the question evolved to, “What is THE GROUPlookingfor?”The emotional exercise was typical of this, as were voice projection exercises andour practice in breathing and use of vocal resonators. The separation of our voice workfrom physicality was important so speaking did not mask or reduce the powerful effectsof bodies. With regard to physicality, members began their work with sculpting, initiallythrough mirror exercises earlier on.Complete The ImageFrom general mirror exercises participants moved to an exercise called Complete theImage. This process is a series of frozen sculptures, whereby one person stands in thecentre of a circle in a frozen shape or posture. A second participant steps in and adds tothe first person, “completing” the image. The first person drops away and a third personenters, adding to the remaining person and so on. Nothing was labelled. Everything wassimply responded to. When striking something occurred in the shifting images, the personwho noticed was encouraged to speak about it or describe it. What thoughts and emotionshad the sculpture conjured?A key moment occurred during our Halloween meeting when fewer than usualpeople participated. We were playing with Complete The Image (Figure 12) ideas andthe shift moved from a heavily religious moment with a priest in a communal pose to adevil with a knife in a stabbing pose. The group froze in silence. Then, it dawned on all,97why name it? Why reduce it to words? Let the contradiction exist in a “stopped” moment.Let it disappear, but hold on to its emotional, mental, and experiential meaning-momentthat had united all profoundly.IFiure 12: Completing the imageFrom general exercises group members moved into thematically completing theimage, as was the case with Amelia’s poem, The Soul ofan Artist, in which she comparedsuicide to a blizzard. To finish the story of these sculptures, the poem Amelia had formedthrough words cut from magazines, Soul ofan Artist.. . .being likened to a blizzard thewhole episode was tied to the theme of her past attempted suicide. The people pulling andhelping in the tableaux were aiding others through pangs of wanting to kill themselves.She stated people read her poem and thought, “oh that’s nice,” but did not understand themeaning and impulse behind Amelia’s writing: her suicide attempts.I was so enthralled with suicide... I mean it was like a fantasy to mesuicide was a fantasy and I was going through all the magazines causethey’ve got tons ofmagazines out there and I was cutting out words and sowhen I cut the words out ... then I kept moving them around and until Ifinally got it to how I wanted it ... and glued it on a piece of black paperand ... but and... and I but I was so surprised that nobody knew what itwas ... they ‘d read it and go that ‘s nice ... you know and or that’s poeticbut nobody knew and that ‘s kind ofsort ofhow it is with suicide ... nobodyknows the kind of pain and then when you ‘re told ... then it’swhoa...(Amelia 1, p. 13)98The first stages of physical work incorporated static symbols, using these tocapture meaning, information, and interstanding. The latter part of performative learningshifted from static imagery into interactive performance. Through these interactions, thisperformative inquiry incorporated popular theatre. Before the ending of our rehearsals,the final stage of our weekly ritual involved a cooling down and wrapping up period (seethe previous chapter).Making Sense Of Where Lives (in Rehearsal) TraversedBridging between the earlier phases and acquiring tools for a popular performanceinvolved an exercise incorporating language, physical movement and spontaneity. TheDelphi, involved reaching consensus through movement and negotiation in silence. Insimple form, the Delphi process is described in Table 4.During our two-week break for the holidays, the group shrank: one member wastravelling 50 km from Victoria, but winter driving proved difficult over the mountainbetween the city and the group meetings in Duncan; another member experienced amedication shift and turned to self-medication; and another found the two-hour sessions,once a week, fatiguing. The group’s number needed replenishing. Advertisementsappeared in local newspapers. Several people joined as the cast began to engage withtheatre making. While recent joiners did not have a history of working together, most hadknown some of the group or knew of the process. Connections aiding in integrating newmembers were made. Also, supporting these new people was the warm, generous andsupportive nature of the group. An openness and recognition others benefited by being inthis group were realized. In order to move ahead, while creating a “new” sense of group,99January was spent on bonding exercises from earlier in the process. This also helped theoriginal members reconnect after some time away from the group.Table 4Delphi Technique Procedure1. Have each person write one word/phrase, one per index card, up to about 10to 15 per person - related to the broad topic being investigated. For ourgroup, the topic was mental disorder.2. Collect and shuffle all the cards3. Randomly display the cards on a wall or floor4. Have the group read all the card ideas without talking5. Have the group slowly begin to cluster similar ideas together without talking6. Once the large grouping is clustered have the group go through one moretime and shift cards around if they see any needing to be moved, again notalking7. Once the clusters have been finalized, have the group connect the cardbatches together so the first one is the least important and the last bunch isthe most, without talkingOnce steps 1-7 are complete, then open the group for dialogue anddiscussion. What usually transpired remained even after people had a chanceto speak. The most important cluster became the topic or overarching ideafrom where the performance grew and evolved.In preparation for the performance Jean, a counsellor with a dance background,offered to lead the group through movement exercises. Yoga continued, but dance(modern and ballet) was included. Working in a large school gymnasium, the group feltlost. The space was too big. To limit the space, members decided to “corral” one cornerwith six gym benches where people could sit facing each other, while exploring topicswithin the cordoned space. Through January and February 2003 (eight sessions), the cast100THE I)ELPHI TECHNIQUEidentified topics they wanted to explore for possible inclusion in the popularperformance. All discussions during this time were put on a flipchart. Occasionally, oneor more members worked through scenes in the space. The more intense improvisationflowed from the group openly talking. The co-searchers uncovered the pervasive use ofrituals in their lives:• Families construct rituals ofexclusion promoting mental diversity as a “burden” andsource of embarrassment to friends and neighbours.• Diagnosing as episodic identity rituals ofpassage spanning years whereby anindividual goes through shifting and multiple categorizations labelling, without everknowing what condition one’s body contains.• Prescribing drugs as rituals ofexperimentation involving tinkering with prescriptionsand exchanging psychotropic drugs in the hopes something “takes.” A survivor’sbody “tells” the psychiatrist when things are “correct.”• Calming “normal” people in social situations through a ritual ofsafety involvingprotecting “sane” people from their fears involving individuals with mental labelsbeing dangerous and threatening.One evening, with a new person’s arrival, co-searchers were engaged in a roundof mental health-related topics. A new person just beginning working with the groupdeclared she didn’t feel “sick.” Other people labelled her in ways with which she did notidentify. Why was her perspective “wrong”? She expressed pride in being “different” toothers. For her, this was normal.This began a discussion about “mental pride.” Why is this never allowed? Whymust it be illness or tragedy?With all this talk of mental illness. I disagree. All I hear is mental illnessthat needs curing. But I don ‘tfeel sick! Why can ‘t we be proudfor beingdifferent. Not less important. I don ‘t evenfeel sick. (Sally, 2003)If gays and lesbians can create power with the word, “Queer,” then they are ablethrough a word used to punish them, regain a sense of power through language. This101resulted in the discussion of the word “mental.” They were proud too. Many great artistsand thinkers lived with so-called mental “illnesses” and were celebrated.Celebrated...Why couldn ‘t we celebrate?And so began in earnest our road toward a community celebrationAll people are worthwhile. (Bette)All lives are worthwhile. (Tallullah)We are worthwhile. (Bette)The mad wealthy go to Switzerlandfor talk therapy.The madpoor go to Riverviewfor drugs and ECT (Cary)Living without hope that’s mental illness. (Amelia)Illness is created.... Victims are constructed. (Sally)To help propel the mood forward the cast decided they would show how “normal”society behaved. To illustrate their point they looked to the ritual of modern romance.The centrepiece was a “romance advertisement,” which spoofed mainstream pieces theysaw in the media. The twist was the title: “Mental Seeking Mental” (Appendix G). Fromthis black humour exercise arose a series of related topics members experienced or hadheard about:• Psychiatric survivors are constructed as “non-sexual” people.• Women with a psychiatric diagnosis are told to not have children, raising thehistory of sterilization among mental “defectives.”• Sex between a “normal” person and a psychiatric survivor raises the notion of“infecting” the “healthy” population with “pathogens.”• Sexual and romantic relationships involving one person with a psychiatricdiagnosis and another without, is perceived by “normals” to be full of potentialviolence and harm.102• The lover of someone with a diagnosis is said to be the “strong” one taking on the“burden” of care giving. Love is considered to be a chore.A thunderclap— a stopped moment - of awareness erupted when Sally arrived butcould not stay. Shortly after she had been diagnosed with a mental disorder, her familydisowned her. Nearly twenty years later, her daughter called to say she needed her mom.One evening on the phone with me for . . .well. . .a long time . . . .Sally choked back tears asshe relayed her message.Sidney, I’m so sorry. I’ve finally found a place that has welcomed me,wants me, values me and I have to say good-bye. Please say good-bye tothe others and I wish them well. If I had money I would gladly give it toyou to keep going on. Because you have to keep going on. You don ‘t knowhow valuable what you ‘re doing is for the group, do you? Whatever youdo.. .just keep going. After all these years, my daughter needs me. I have totake this opportunity to go back to myfamily because they need me. Now.I’m going home. But you must go on — I can give you some money fyouwant help... (Sally, field notes, p. 67)We talked more about the group’s plans as well as her future and joy with regardto reuniting with her family. I was happy for Sally, but sad for not having her in ourgroup. She was the one that gave a most important present to the group; the gift ofprodding, thinking about individual and group pride and enactively shifting the way thegroup looked at itself and its relation to society. It is fitting to end this part of our journeywith her words:What is all this talk about illness? I don ‘tfeel ill. Why do we haveto be ill? Why does everyone treat me as though everything aboutme is sick? Mental illness is a source ofsupport and is a positivesupport ofpride. I’m proud to be dfferent in one way — but I’m thesame in far more ways. Why can ‘t people notice me — see me forwho Jam... we are? (Sally, field notes, p. 58)The Poultry BarnDynamics changed when our work moved to the poultry barn, our performance space.The shift in location and space created a different work atmosphere.103The floor was poured concrete. The walls and high peaked ceiling insidewere all whitewashed. Both ends of the barn had large twin doors that ranon a track completely opening the barn outward into the fairgrounds. Therewere power outlets evenly spaced along both sides of the wall. A smallpower room was in one corner with a potential performance area on theroofofthat space. We had one half lengthwise, ofthe barn. The second halfwas normally locked, though we would end up using the locked halfas ourstorage space for props, costumes, lights, and set pieces. There was nowashroom facility — that was had by walking several hundred yards away toa concrete washroom facility that was locked — out in the middle of theparking lot - there were also some stacked wire poultry cages beside thebarn ...perhaps we could hang signs reading “Solitary Confinement” for thewaiting audience ...(Field notes, p. 43)The building housed prize-winning poultry during the annual fall fair in Duncan. Likemost barns, the floor was made of poured concrete. The walls were heavily whitewashedboards. Numerous electrical plugs were found and the open-raftered ceiling held lots oflights. The cast bought a number of halogen work lights as the stage lights for the popularperformance. The barn was split into two with sliding doors opening up both sides. Weperformed in one side, while using the other as a big storage for props and costumes andas a change room during the show. We moved to this location in early April, whenevening temperatures would fall to 50 degrees Celsius. We dressed warmly andcontinued in the “blank canvas” of space (Figure 13).Figure 13: The cast setting up in the barnWhile the building worked well for a location, it was less conducive to lying orsitting still on, particularly during the first month when the cast began rehearsals. The104barn was not heated and our meetings occurred during the evenings. If members keptmoving, most people endured the cold. Poured concrete, constituting the floor, emanatedcoldness. To lie on this and meditate was impossible. As a result, our closure process wasamended. Instead, the group discussed the performance’s progress and what lay ahead.Cast members “closed” the “container” of our times together by linking the end of onerehearsal to the next through discussions of what occurred in a current evening and whatneeded to be done. It paled in comparison to our previous closing process when we metin the school gymnasium and was missed by some participants when the shift was made.The absence of the more pronounced closure during the final stretch of our overall timetogether reinforced the power and necessity of this dynamic when constructing a ritual oflearning and insight (Figure 14). The play was recorded twice. A fringe festival recordingis attached to the back cover of this document.Figure 14: “Feeling” the barn spaceReflections, Interpretations, PossibilitiesThe research methodology of this study involved performative inquiry. Table 5summarizes the themes and performative questions the group explored that assisted withdeveloping and putting on the performance. Within the group’s meetings, various queriesemerged that the group wanted to explore more fully. From these experiences, dramatic105Table 5Cast’s Results of Their Performative Inquiry as Illustrated in the Show “SHAKEN: NOTDISTURBED... with a twist!”SHOW’S SCENE TITLE DESCRIPTION OF CAST’S RATIONALE FORTHE SCENE INCLUSIONFreak Show Dark Space, Hysterical Screams, Have to throw audience off-Hospital Sounds, Actors roam among balance to be open to the play;audience members as they set up their remind people of the historychairs (and from where attitudes come).How far has society come?Theme: Role of HistoryFantasy of Dreams Blue Light, darkened room, Kate Attached to some of thoseBush song “Under Ice”... Working in contemplating suicide is the ideaPairs— Mime tensions and being of fantasy — being disconnectedtrapped. and of being a burden to others.Why does a feeling of burdenexist? Is leaving the solution or abigger problem? Theme:SuicideTravelogue Through History A monologue by character in a lab Who is mad? Is it possible tocoat about the entwined history of serve two masters: curing illness,mental “illness” and psychiatry. becoming legitimate andFeatured are the series of “attempts” powerful?at curing madness. Ends with speakerbeing sunmioned for his medication. Theme: Construction of PowerDiagnosis Dance A music number set up as ajig How is illness constructed?danced by doctors in lab coats. Song Do doctors understand asused is “Jig of Life” whereby doctors medical labels are assigned, sobegin austere and solemn and then are identities? Why is diagnosiswhen the jig begins dances out to so inexact? Is diagnosis theaudience and makes diagnoses and lifeblood of the medicalprescriptions in a flurry of merriment. profession? Theme: LabellingHow “They” Talk About “Us” Precursor to the “Buster” series of Why do people speak at othersscenes — takes audience through the perceived as different as thoughmajor challenge of finding they’re not human? What is theemployment. Monologue in the form fear? Theme: Employmentof Job Interview.Looking For Work Inside an El office and how Buster Why do those meant to help,gets either laughed at or ignored, hurt people so much? Theme:EmploymentEl Appeal Panel Ritual of an Inquisition to root out What are the forms of normal?Others.., the perpetuation of The use of power to controlNormalcy— again labeling as being normalcylazy or not committed or not prudent.Theme: Employment106SHOW’S SCENE TITLE DESCRIPTION OF CAST’S RATIONALETHE.SCENE FOR INCLUSIONFaking It Forced back to work, Buster fmds How can we believe in diversityanother job where he has to “pass” as when we don’t allow mentally“normal” or fake it.... But as the pace diverse people be themselves?of work quickens Buster can’t keepup. This is done as a movement pieceshowing the automaton nature of the Theme: Employmentemployment.Filling The Gap Ending of the movement piece when How disposable are we asBuster runs in frustration off stage humans?leaving a hole. This position isreplaced by another knowing how to Theme: Employmentwatch the others— but is he passing?New Job/New Stress Buster is given more and moreresponsibility until he “bums out” Why do those seen as “different”and collapses — in part because the are expected to do more to beemployer knows he has been accepted?diagnosed with a mental disorder.Theme: EmploymentUnemployment “Fairy Drug Mother” comes along to What is worse— the treatment byoffer drugs to cope. New drugs bring “normal others” or the drugs?“normalcy”Theme: EmploymentThe Ritual Repeats A shortened repeat of the previous How much does larger societyritual in a piece of forum theatre — understand the issues connectedquestions are asked of the audience to mental diversity? Can theyfor suggestions. help? Will they help?Theme: EmploymentA Family Gathering An evening of playing scrabble.... Why do loved ones not trust?Parents, son and girlfriend with a How can love be destructive?psychiatric diagnosis.... All the fears How is dependencyand stereotypes of parents toward materialized?“what others will think” and spoilingthe family genes.... And the overcare/smothering of careTheme: Family RelationshipsA Doctor’s Concern An Alter Ego exercise whereby egos How can an ethic of care bespeak to the audience as a doctor and present in the midst of thepatient discuss medications. The financial ties to big drugdoctor alter ego wishes to please the companies? How is expressiondrug companies, but to the patient it of oppression experienced whenis an ethic of caring. this happens? Will psychiatristsaccept this portrayal?Theme: Doctor Relationships107SHOW’S SCENE TITLE DESCRIPTION OF CAST’S RATIONALETHE SCENE FOR INCLUSIONLate Night Phone Call A monologue done in the fashion of a Why is sexuality, identity andlate night radio talk sex help line mental identity not considered asshow.... A slide shows a romance ad co-existing? Why are sexualentitled “Mental Seeking Mental”.... lives of psychiatric survivorsAnd a shadow box of action occurs erased? What is the fear? Howdemonstrating the letter being read can this get talked about?out to the audience.Theme: Intimate RelationshipsDouble Ceremony of Normalcy Two ceremonies in one: when a What is normal? Why can’t aperson becomes labeled as different, a broader range of normal exist?new identity of difference replaces a Why can’t having a psychiatrictaken for granted self of normalcy— diagnosis be another form ofthe ritual demonstrates this. accepted normal?Theme: NormalcyGallery of Behaviours A bus tour (audience) of personnel How much does context play inprofessionals arrives to take in office labeling? What is acceptedbehaviours— but are they mental behaviour and why? Does whohealth workers— the signs individuals labels matter? Where is the limitwear are flipped so the same between normal and not normalbehaviour becomes labeled and how is this determined?differently— from accepted (work) tounaccepted (diagnosis)... le.Attention to Detail becomesCompulsive ObsessiveTheme: NormalcyHoops For Money A scene showing a survivor trying to Acceptance of a label is limitednavigate various hoops to receive depending on current politics.subsistence disability payments —to How can survivors have greaterbe ultimately pushed out by a influence in this?Disability Review.Theme: Politics of IdentityA Day at the Grocery Store A scene showing a clerk lucky What people have the largerenough to work for the below dependency on society forminimum wage training pay as money? Psychiatric survivors orvarious customers are checked out: the various mental health anddoctor, lawyer, social worker, social work professionals? Howpsychiatrist —the people spending is this dependency constructed?large amounts of money on groceriespaid for by the state.Theme: State Dependency108SHOW’S SCENE TITLE DESCRIPTION OF CAST’S RATIONALETHE SCENE FOR INCLUSIONGovernment Office of Silly A quick scene built on the Silly Who owns the language matters.Answers Questions exercise involving serious Appearances matter. Why doesquestions but silly and evasive this perpetuate? In what waysanswers provided by government does this harm psychiatricbureaucrats survivors?Theme: Language of PowerBC’s New Era Political Satire with Premier How can the short-term focus ofCampbell dressed as a used car political office be changed to asalesman selling off the province to longer term of helping society?the harm of those needing help What is government’s role? Whyhas government turned into abusiness?Theme: GovernmentBlind Leading the Blind Scene of a deaf mental patient being Why is the mental disorder labellabeled as non-compliant when much larger than other aspects ofpsychiatrist did not bother to identity? Why do psychiatristsunderstand patient— another patient become disconnected fromclears up the problem but is told to patients? Why can’t patients andmind her own business, doctors work together?Theme: Doctor CareOffice Overload Scene of over-stressed social worker Why has social caring becomeeventually burning out from a variety less? Who will pick up theof demands to be replaced by a recent overflow? What will happengraduate full of idealism, because of this lack of statecare? Where is help comingfrom if not the state?Theme: Social Care CutsBedtime Story Scene whereby a tired psychiatric Why does so muchnurse falls asleep as a patient plans discoimection exist betweenout loud how she will commit patients and medical staff?suicide. Nurse wakes up to believethe “problem” has been solved. Theme: ProfessionalDisconnectionFamily Tug-Of-War A Red Rover game turned into the How can the experience ofpros and cons of loved ones finding psychiatric survivors get out toout someone has become recently educate society about what isdiagnosed— ends with bombardment needed? How can an individualexercise become so isolated at a time theyneed others.Theme: Family Disconnection109SHOW’S SCENE TITLE DESCRIPTION OF CAST’S RATIONALETHE SCENE FOR INCLUSIONPep Rally of Pride A chant about mental pride is yelled Theme: Emerging Mentalout to the audience PrideFinding A Way Out Play Ends With a Series of Tableaux What can we tell the audienceand cast members shouting out what we need in order to improve ourthey need to live with pride, while lives? What if the list we providebeing a valued, productive citizen could all come tme what arethe possibilities? Theme:Developing A FutureDebrief Discussion between cast and audience What will true dialogue lookabout the show, the topic, or process. like? What can be achieved bytalking together? Theme: MoveArt and Life Closer Together.Celebration Food, drink, laughter, talking— mix Can art be moved into life? Canbetween cast and audience. we make things happen?Theme: Social Actionmoments and scenes emerged, which the group felt illustrated new awareness orinterstanding. Themes that were performed illustrated relied-upon techniques of popularadult education and absurdist performance styles. Popular theatre methods draw uponlived experiences in the creation of everyday situations in order to reformulate them intonew codified (absurdist) and dramatic opportunities. The scene titles emerged as the“themes” or “codes” the group identified them and were instances of “naming theirworld” in relevant ways. Popular theatre techniques and performative inquiry as researchmethodology created this awareness in more intentional ways through the use of dramaticand theatrical processes.Key “aha” moments emerged from early on, through to the performance. Table 6illustrates the impulse for each conjuring of insight during the group’s explorations andthe awareness raised. Some of these exercises were transformed and incorporated into theperformance as in the cases of Bombardment, Forum Theatre, Alter Egos, Body Guards,Rite of Passage, Silly Questions and Red Rover.110Table 6A Listing of Aha Moments and the Exercises That Evoked ThemKEY “ABA” MOMENTS EXERCISE FROM WHERE..INSIGS EMERGEDThe notion of having multiple voices withcontradictory demands resonated for some inthe cast. The impulse was to turn what occurs Bombardmentwithin one body outward to the audience toincrease awareness relating to experience of“mental disorder.”Suffering transforms bodies into vulnerableand closed positions fighting for a breath ofrecognition and viability: a sense of Complete the Imageentrapment.Emotions don’t automatically “control”people, but by being consciously aware therecan be some control of emotions. Emotional WalkHow various forms of power influence andoppress the fortunes of others, particularlythose who are seen as “not belonging.” Also Forum Theatrethe ritualistic quality of authority that oftenallows it to work invisibly.Regimentation of society — especially thework world. How the need to conform can bemore “maddening” than the desire to be Body Guardsindividual.Individuals “wear” masks.., or they are notwho they appear. There are hiddenmotivations and interests that control Alter Egosinteractions.Labelling involves both the taking on of newperceptions and the destruction of old ones.When named “not normal,” there is a passingof status or the taking on of “outsider”—and Rite of Passagethe taking away of something known,familiar and comfortable on the inside. Thisrelated to each disorder label being attachedto a particular notion of identity.111KEY “ABA” MOMENTS EXERCISE FROM WHERE• INSIGHTS EMERGEDIndividuals don’t always say what they mean Silly Questionsor hide their true message to protectthemselves or exclude others from knowing.The confusion of intentions of those around Red Roverus. Some individuals mean well but don’thave our interests at heart and others justdon’t know but don’t realize this.A document, with regard to care giving and wishes for society, emerged during asession where we were all just sitting around one evening and talking about “What If?”If society could reduce its prejudice of psychiatric survivors and allow greater inclusionso citizenship was a reality, what would that look like? How can co-searchers find greaterindependence? What can be done? We started small in constructing a wish list by lookingat the care giving relationship and some of the assumptions that support it. Not all ofthese dynamics are healthy or positive for psychiatric survivors. Others foster greatsupport.Table 7 reflects a central piece within the cast’s message: assisting psychiatricsurvivors through care giving, supporting and creating opportunities for greaterindependence at a social level. This was provided as a handout within the show’sprogram to all audience members.From the microcosm of mentally diagnosed individuals, and their loved ones, thediscussion moved to the larger community. As the list evolved, there was a realizationthat what would help this group, and others with disabilities, would help many who arealso socially and economically marginalized. The list of social assistance suggestions has112TABLE 7The Handout Provided in the Show’s Program With Recommendations for HelpingMentally Disordered People Live Better LivesTHINGS NEEDED TO IMPROVE LIVESFOR PEOPLE LIVING WITH MENTALDISORDER+ CHANGE MASS MEDIA IMAGESDEPICTiNG PEOPLE LIVING WITHMENTAL ILLNESSCHANGE EMPLOYER ATTITUDESIMPROVE TRANSPORTATIONSERVICES+ LEARN MORE ABOUT MENTALILLNESS- DON’T HIDE FROMPEOPLE WITH MENTAL ILLNESS+ VALUE HEALTHCARE AND SOCIALWORKERS+ INCREASE FUNDING FOR:RESEARCH, EDUCATION, ANDINCOME SUPPORTAFFORDABLE HOUSINGLET US SIT ON POLICY-MAKINGBOARDS THAT DETERMiNE HOW WEARE TO LIVE AND EXISTREHABILITATION CENTRESINCREASED FUNDING TOVOLUNTEERS+ BECOME MORE OUTSPOKEN ANDPOLITICAL AROUND MENTALHEALTH/ILLNESS ISSUES+ CREATE SELF-EMPLOYMENT FORTHOSE LIVING WITH MENTALILLNESS+ CREATE A BARTER SYSTEM FORGOODS AND SERVICES+ GREATER ACCESS ANDACCOMMODATION TO TRAININGAND EDUCATION FOR THOSELIVING WITH MENTAL ILLNESSSUPPORT ALL CAREGIVERS,ESPECIALLY FAMILYWHAT ATTRIBUTES MAKE A GREATCAREGIVERThe cast has asked that this listing ofwhatmakes a great caregiver, for them, be includedwithin this program. Given that this isCanadian Mental Health Week and the natureof the show is, in part, about care givingaround mental health — and given, mostimportantly, the hand knowledge ofthe grouphere are some wise words from those whoknow most! Caregivers need to:V Be non-judgmentalV Be educated in the issues aroundmental healthV Be consistentV Be broad-mindedV Give unconditional love and supportV Be perceptiveV Give and maintain clear boundariesV Have a clear sense of the “big picture”i.e. be networked into the localcommunityV Give of themselves — emotionally,spiritually, psychologically,experientiallyV Know when to let go of the personliving with mental disabilities so he/shecan walk on his/her ownV Be adaptive and able to change as theperson with the mental disabilitygrows, changes— don’t treat the illness,support the personV More public and community-wideinitiatives around people living withmental health issues•:••:•113the potential to resonate with other groups not reflected in the mainstream, i.e., changingmedia images is something demanded of sexual minorities, larger people, rural citizensand so on. The notion of the “closet” is hinted at here through changing attitudes andbecoming educated on the issues and people involved. Inviting psychiatric survivors totake part in activities that directly influenced their lives, from research to employment isa strongly felt by the co-searcher. This notion came from other marginalized peopledemanding the same.The key within this study is the translation between physicality and writtenlanguage. The early portion of this chapter was grounded within concrete, physical meansfor communicating and making meaning. Mapped “moments of recognition” generatingthe show appears in Appendix H. This report is based in the experience of the cast;writing about what occurred created the slipperiness of translating embodied performanceinto text.SummaryThis chapter moved beyond Chapters 1 and 2 to illustrate, through the work of the cast,how insiders to the mental health system have started to rethink their role and placewithin society by creatively and enactively playing with taken-for-granted relationshipswithin their lives. Disturbing how they think of themselves to generate a greater sense ofautonomy was discovered through the games and play that involved the use of exercisesthat scrutinized relationships of authority. The performative inquiry drew out moresimilarities than differences, moving the project closer to achieving its stated purposes: todisrupt “normal” ways of thinking about psychiatric diversity by challenging prevailing114notions of mental “illness” and create better relationships between psychiatricallydiagnosed and other people.The first connections made were between counselors and mental health clientswithin the cast. What occurred, in the leveling out of hierarchies, provided promise forthe potential in the larger social world. A key piece was how the co-searchers consideredthe guiding research question: What shUis occur within a group ofrural adults living withmental disorder(s) as it developed andpresented an absurdistpopular theatre communityproduction?Self-concepts became informed by how they experienced theatre exercises thatasked each co-searcher to look at his/her role through psychiatric disorder diagnosis. Thepopular theatre process co-created over time was described. The first part of the chapterexplored the concrete and material social processes experienced by everyoneparticipating. Aspects of ritual, exercise dynamics, shifts in membership and the roadleading to performance were outlined. While the performance was not within the mainpart of this writing, the scene listing and video are provided in the appendices of thiswork. Relying on physical interactions was a process for making sense of this experience.The latter part of this chapter reviewed the way insights were reflected throughphysically working with words. As language, reflections and meanings came together,new awareness slowly emerged. Even though the co-searchers were not close by, theirwords were. Reflecting through text linked the concrete experience of performativeinquiry with the relationships found through voice, identity and power. The next chaptertakes the reader into the interstandings or awareness of cast members as they proceededthrough this process.115CHAPTER FIVECAST MEMBERS’EVIDENCE OF PERFORMATIVE INQUIRYthis is the best experience in my whole entire life and love it — I love it — but notjust like— like — not just physically and mentally and emotionally and about themental illness and about who I was but personal — but aboutfriends and groupsand relationships and helping and about commitment and 1 could go on and on—the list is enormous—it’s like the biggest, biggest, hugest thing of my entireflfe like ever... .(TaIluIah, about the project experience)we reflect upon our experience as observers, we discover that our experienceis that we find ourselves observing, talking, or acting, and that any explanationor descrztion ofwhat we do is secondary to our experience offinding ourselvesin the doing ofwhat we do (Maturana, 1988, p. 26).IntroductionThe experiences of a popular theatre process as performative inquiry informed theprevious chapter. This section describes opening up space for comprehension ofvoice,acceptance ofone ‘s identity and development ofpower among cast members. Thesemoments of recognition form part of what “fell out” of the performative inquiry. In laterchapters, the audience’s and my reflections are covered. To end this chapter, I draw on apassing comment made by Jimmi and how this translated into a structure relating toperformed voice, identity and power within rural social margins. The guiding question:What shifts occur within a group ofrural adults living with mental disorder(s) as itdeveloped andpresented an absurdist popular theatre community production? Part of theexploration emerged in Chapter 4 and through the show, Shaken. Not Disturbed.... with atwist! The remainder will flow more directly through this chapter. In Chapter 6 is theaudience’s reaction to the performance and my responses to the process are in Chapter 7.The purposes of this study were to disrupt “normal” ways of thinking aboutpsychiatric diversity by challenging prevailing notions of mental “illness” and createbetter relationships between psychiatrically diagnosed and other people. People can find116ways to treat one another more justly and fairly. Acquiring one’s voice leads to theuncovering and (re)discovery of identity and the unfolding of power to act.Comprehending VoiceActress Tallulah says Stirred has given her a voice to express feelingsabout her condition.... Through the play Tallulah ‘s gaining confidence todeal with society. “I’ve learned it doesn ‘t matter what other people think,Tallulah said. It’s been highly therapeutic, almost like a steppingstone.... Iwish there was a program like this that could go on forever “ (Tallulah,Cowichan News Leader, May 7, 2003, p. 19)This play ‘s an opportunity to talk about things that really aren ‘t talkedabout in public, like suicide. It brought me out into the open rather thanbeing a hermit (Amelia, Cowichan News Leader, May 7, 2003, p. 19)Tallulah said the process gave her an opportunity and space to express and voice herfeelings about her situation. She suggested she was the “odd one out” because all aroundher were “normal” people. Few identified with her. Within the cast, she found otherswanting to hear her and valued what she had to say. Experiences lived within this projectwere rare in Tallulah’s background. She added it did not matter when people ascribednegative aspects to her self, as a psychiatric survivor, because she had more confidencethrough being more vocal. Further, the theatre work was a stepping-stone for findingmore spaces to speak out.SuicideAmelia said the project was an open space to talk about things rarely spoken of in public.For her, an important topic was the myth of suicide fixing everything. The exercisesmoved beyond speaking, allowing co-searchers to express in more embodied ways the“feeling” of suicide. This bridging was the relationship of “experience-inquiryperformance,” or “performative excavating,” described in Chapter 2. Explorations within117rehearsals found ways to communicate descriptions of killing one’s self and the thinkingand feelings behind the act. To do this, Amelia suggested she had to be more physicallyexposed to society by coming out of her home. She needed to intentionally move awayfrom a safety zone, through an act of risk, in order to speak out. Finding her voice wasnot as scary as experiencing the social world.An example of performative inquiry generating enacted knowledge, throughcreative acting and interacting, was Amelia wanting to demonstrate though words andemotion individuals’ suicidal feelings. In particular, commonly believed amongpsychiatric survivors is the idea they are burdens to those around them. She decided thiswas inaccurate and wanted to “teach” this to other mental health survivors. Currentthinking involves loved ones being better off without a psychiatrically diagnosedindividual in their lives. From this false consciousness, Amelia found a way toemancipate her thinking. Amelia stated playing the scene Bedtime Story was a powerfulexperience, or “moment of recognition,” with the psychiatric nurse who fell asleep asAmelia relayed how she was going to commit suicide. Replaying the scene, she felt,would help others in the audience. This was an enactivist effort to change the nature ofthe world. What she also discovered was her effort helped her put this topic intoperspective. Notably, through opening up the story she asked if she had killed herself,how would she have hurt, not helped, her loved ones? This created a pause for reflection.“The Suicidal Sally scene ...I mean that was so real for me... and I—I inthe performance I added the words—that I would just be a burden to therest of my family because I wanted people to know that when somebody’sthinking of committing suicide—that they ‘re—like my brother said to mewhen I did that—said—well what about your nephew, what about him, and Isaid—I said he ‘d be better off without me—and that ‘s the way I felt—everybody that was close to me—that I loved that I wasn ‘t thinking that Iwould be hurting them—I was thinking that they would—that they were—that118I would be alleviating them so that was my-I added that in because Iwanted to as well—to try and get that point across that — that that’s whatpeople who are suicidal think — that you know I’m a burden so the worldwill be better offwithout me—so and—and Ifelt when I was saying it—like Ifelt right back—like I was right back in that room with that nurse you knowcause I had my head down andyou know so I wasn ‘t looking at anybody—Iwas basically talking to myself and it was all quite and so you know“(Amelia, Interview 6, P. 38).Was suicide the answer or did it create unforeseen problems for people shewanted to help by ending her life? This moment of uncertainty she wanted to perform inthe show to help anyone watching and who was in a similar place she’s been in herself.The Pull ofthe ClosetGroup members began to understand their voices. During various scenes, particularlyduring personal episodes, individual cast members grew increasingly aware that who theyare matters. Self-worth is a key part of critical consciousness. This realization arosethough the interplay with others in their lives. As they relayed past experiences to eachother, similarities and differences were topics of discussion.Through the form of exploring stories, came the destruction of old ways ofthinking. To achieve this came the simultaneous action of developing a popularperformance. Exposing a person’s story rendered one’s self vulnerable because afteraspects of experience are released a complete returning to anonymity is never achieved(Salverson, 1997). Merit to such a position is acknowledged; however, those familiarwith aspects of invisibility and the “closet,” hiding can be both an act of protection and aforce of entrapment and further silencing. Within the play, three scenes uniquely anddeterminedly personal were included. Keeping Salverson (1997) in mind, I began, whenworking with Amelia and Tallulah, to suggest the scenes (Bedtime Story, FamilyGathering, Blind Leading the Blind) needed to be revised to protect their stories and,119therefore, their identities and lives from public scrutiny. Their responses were quick anddefinitive. They had to remain as they were because they were powerful stories needingto be told.Struggles of VoiceTallulah stated that if I trust and have faith in her and she in me, then it was the basis forher believing in herself and what she had to say. Encouraging each co-searcher to speakup allowed the story’s power to become emancipatory for himlher within the community.Encouraging each cast member to find voice in his or her own way allowed the story’spower to become vocally effective within the community.but those were the best scenes—but that was the most important—that ‘swhat I loved about this whole thing—and you [Sidney] and everything—youwent on whatever you call it [intuition] you know what I mean—you[herself] were like I’ll just do it because people don ‘t take risks—you[Sidney] took risks in me so now I can take the risks and Amelia can takethe risks and everybody at Open Door can take the risks cause you and ohto do that was important because jf we didn’t do all those scenes—then Iwouldn ‘t have been as happy with the whole program—cause the reason Iwas happy—because you [Sidney] were taking things and we were takingthings and making up all these things and doing all these things- but you[Sidney] weren ‘t—you [Sidney] weren ‘t taking out the ones that youthought were risky—but you were saying they have to fit—I’m going to givethem—we may turn some of these around but I’m going to drive the pointhome cause you know what Tallulah deserves it, Amelia deserves it—allthese people I think deserve to you know—you did the one thing thatnobody else—everybody else is trying to hide our lives—and you were like—you said—you took dynamite and you said you deserve this—here—here it iscause it’s real—run with it—and you know—that was really—that washonourable—like that was heroic in my eyes—you know what I mean—likeyou don ‘t understand though—we ‘ye got to have somebody like you[Sidney] to you know otherwise everybody else is likesssssshhhhhhhhhhh... (Tallulah, Interview 6, p. 45).Tallulah spoke about the many scenes (27 in the two-hour popular performance). Someco-searchers wanted to edit the play to an hour. She said each scene reflected a piece ofsomeone’s voice and to cut episodes was removing part of a co-searcher’s ability to120speak. Was it more important to have a nice, neat and tidy production? Or was it morevaluable for the performance to be an open space for all voices to express? Tallulahreminded the cast that it took a lot of courage to announce one’s non-visible presence.She stated Sidney took risk in organizing and running the group and continued to believein the process. Cast members noticed the effort. This allowed group members to take“leaps of faith.” Tallulah reminded the group, many loved ones in the cast’s lives weretrying to hide co-searchers’ experiences from the public. This project was a space andprocess for each member to take small steps to speak their stories.Self-deprecation and self-silencing occurred; co-searchers had a perception theyare worth-less somehow. This is the Freirian notion of a “culture of silence.” Speakingbefore the community, they discovered their senses of self and personhood are important.Amelia spoke of missing a rehearsal because she was depressed. This absence added toher loneliness. She called her mom to talk about her feelings. The response received wastheatre was helping. What she and her mom talked about was, “What happened in actingthis week?” Amelia said it was a space to be a kid again, play, let go and just be one’sself. Through play comes a sense of self. The space was where stories hidden away werepulled out and worked with through bodies destroying old forms to open up possibilitiesin creative action and interaction.it was maybe two-thirds the way through urn I was kind of in a bit of adepression—and I did think about not coming—and I missed one and Ifeltso lonely that night—I was at home—and urn and then I—and then I talked tomy mom on the phone and urn she brought me back up like she usuallydoes and she just said to me— promise me you ‘11 go to acting—cause shejust- every time Iphone her she ‘s like tell me about acting—tell me aboutacting—I love it I love it—you know—it’s so good—this is what you need—youknow this so she encouraged me to continue going and urn and so I wentthrough a ah like I dipped a little bit deeper and went through a reallyrough patch but Iforced myself to go because I wanted to be there and I121wanted to be a part of the group and like Tallulah said, you know it waslike you could go andjust be yourselfand urn and be almost—act like a kidagain really let go and to be able to tell our stories and urn things that youknow were only inside before and to bring them out and to work them outin an acting process like that urn—I think was really therapeutic you know(Amelia, Interview 6, p 35).Jean, one of the counsellors, suggested her role as part of the cast and its functionto give voice to stories of disempowerment was one of conduit. Her function, she saw,was to be a mentor and role model. A key aspect of voice was being present. Her valuefor the group was as a witness to listen.I’m at a developmental stage that doesn ‘t—that there is not a lot ofunexpressed stuff or that say when I’m expressing on stage it’s not a verydifferent state from which—how I express rnyself you know in—in myregular walk—and I could see that with yourself [Sidney} as well—you’re-you ‘re very, very, very good at—you express yourselfvery well [Sidney] soyou touched audience members because of that ability but it may not havebeen extremely you know moving — moving necessarilyfor you — you havethe ability to move the audience by virtue ofbeing there-like being presentis the biggest—the biggest— necessity to move others — like I can stand on astage and be present andputforth that which you know I want to express— and that’s what moves the audience right—it’s not the words and it ‘s notthe content as much as it is the— the being present and being the conduitand being there ...(Jean, Interview 14, p. 4).It’s one thing to want to speak, but equally important is to have an audiencehearing and taking in what is heard without judgment. For counsellors, Jean suggested,the act of listening is critical. The process of the project reminded her how key this is toany relationship. Cary reminded the group, the cast spoke and dreamt from inside creasesof society. By their nature these folds are dark and hidden. These boundaries extend intoother spheres of living and life.do we dream inside of cracks... that is the thing... what is partlydisturbing is the darkness of the crack you know ... . living dreams youknow.... add technical stuff you know we can ‘t dream that way... it ‘s allhard to formulate you know but I think it was important... goingaround.... how thin is the border between madness and sanity.. .you knowhow close are you to the edge— these are the questions it [the play] brings122up a personal introspection—then they take their mind off theplay... .(Cary, Interview 17, P. 19).What he found was with regard to voice was the play, itself, was an introspectiveprocess for both cast members and spectators. He suggested once spoken, the audiencereflected and then shifted attention away from the play for the narrowness between sanityand “madness” remained shockingly thin. This space of interaction between performersand onlookers allowed audience members and actors to interstand how alike everyone inthat chicken barn was.Speaking As Dangerous PracticeThe power of voice is different from the voice of power as Bette hinted occasionally. Tospeak out is a dangerous practice. Voices of power, as evidenced by psychiatricprofessionals, wanted to shield cast members from repercussions, most notably notobtaining employment. Doctors, including Bette’s psychiatrist, wanted to know why castmembers had to do this play. Why did cast members have to speak out? The effect wasone of silencing by one in power through an exercise of oppression. This was impliedwhen a question in the mind of Bette went unasked. Her psychiatrist asked, “Why telleverybody?” The question remaining unsaid for her was,The problem arose when the fact of the— it was realized by some peoplethat you know in the professional area that perhaps people are going tospeak out and then they might—that it might harm those people ‘spossibilities of getting employment for example or fair treatment orwhatever— that that was exactly what the play was about to ensure thatirregardless of where you are in your mental health—you get fairtreatment—that people treat you with respect and that you have just asmuch opportunity as anybody else— I didn ‘t really realize that until I spoketo my psychiatrist — and he was like— he says well why do you have to telleverybody—but I didn ‘t ask the question at that moment—why not?—which isprobably what I should have said—Well, why not? You know whatcflfference does it really make—it does make a cflfference — but I think the123difference would be less fpeople were more aware... (Bette, Interview26,p. 14)She said a great fear exists by others of someone speaking out about his/herpsychiatric diagnosis. The danger was unemployment and other opportunities beingforeclosed. She spoke out and currently works at a university as an administrativeassistant. She said many opportunities in life were ruled out and still people did not speakup. By opening up space for silenced voices she believed this would break down the fearand ignorance. Bette found that the play and process did.The popular performance created awareness, dialogue and exposure to difference,through continually codifying and decodifying topics of oppression. Sometimes speakingout is not what matters, but becoming familiar with embodied strangers. This occursthrough interstanding. Bette found the more she spoke to people following the show, shediscovered individuals with no previous understanding of mental diversity respondedmore positively than those in mental health industries. During, and as part of, the show,interactive discussions with the audience occurred. These chats involved talking abouthow to help psychiatric survivors be more independent. As Bette experienced the show asan actor, she was struck with the level of ignorance. Learning occurred in multipledirections.if I had to say between the people who never saw the play who weremental health professionals and people who saw the play and are not—having nothing to do with mental health—I would say that we got a betterreception from the people who had no idea what was going on—thanpeople who are supposedly educated in the whole field and they had cometo see the play... (Bette, Interview 26, p. 18)Through the embodied act of speaking, physically, emotionally, vocally, spatially,interactively, all repeated acts help in the performative construction of identity (Butler,1990). The more one speaks and, most importantly is listened to, reacts with and against124the greater understanding of others. . . .the more critical the individual becomes of one’sself. A growing interstanding of relationships among cast members emerged, implicatinghow each person responded to others, while setting one another apart as individuals. Joanspoke of a key word arising within rehearsals as reflected in: it ‘S just so simple like threeletters — t-r-y. And there it is (Interview 4, p. 5).... And then she goes on to say inthrough trying fyou heal it you might destroy something else — that is creativity(Interview 4, p. 8). This is the crux of learning supporting performative inquiry. Tallulahspoke about how she shifted from working from others’ expectations and how shethought they wanted her to be, to looking inward to herself. Interestingly, shedistinguished between living up to another’s expectations and seeing another (me)believing in her. From another individual, she understood she was someone to bebelieved in. That knowledge evolved through our interactions. Remnants remained ofpast practice even after a shift in understanding.you just believed me and I could come and be myself— and- and it wasfunand we did it and I think that ‘s why—cause when you ‘re—when you ‘reliving a huge lie— it’s hard to commit to anything — when you ‘re trying tobe somebody you ‘re not—like whether it ‘s a relationship or a job oranything— when you ‘re trying to be somebody you ‘re not—how can youcommit—it’s it ‘s—you ‘re acting! It’s like—impossible—it’s horring(Tallulah, Interview 6, p. 7)While the source for being rendered powerless and, then, regaining empowermentwere outside of Tallulah, the act of seeing another accepting her is seen as a relationshipof interstanding used to create new internal awareness of her self. This seems to be aneeded step toward finding autonomy. The next move connects one’s voice to a sense ofself. Emerging awareness of identity within the cast is next.125Acceptance of IdentityWe ‘re trying to show everyone that despite our disabilities we ‘re still anasset to the community.., when you ‘re schizophrenic, you hear voices;sometimes they ‘re positive and sometimes they ‘re negative.., we ‘reexpressing what happens when these things happen (Buster, CowichanNews Leader, May 7, 2003, p. 19)From Make-Believe Comes Experiencing SelfThe shift between “real” and “fiction” was blurred for some. Tallulah said she found her“true” self on stage, when she found herself while acting in make-believe. Shediscovered, when on stage, she did not have to be the “me” everyone demanded of her.She was at ease with how she wanted to be. Tallulah realized she put up barriers in herdaily living. Many of these disappeared when working within the group and on stage.Through this project, she said she met herself for the first time in a long while and washappy with that.“I think that I learnt that having mental health illness — that it doesn ‘t— itwasn ‘t so negative after— I didn ‘t feel like that it was such a negativething right— that people with mental illnesses are the same- and sawmyselfpersonally Ifelt that I — that it was just a big negative thing thatcould happen to me — and before this there was the diagnosis and I sawthat I am just like everybody else — When my psychiatrist asked me —talking about the play — and I told him — I said that I was proud you knowhaving a mental health issue — well he — he always— he gives me this look— that says I don ‘t think that — they think that we need to tell anybody thatwe have a mental health issue- I think that they — that we don ‘t need to tellanybody— and that’s just the way to deal with it but — I don ‘t agree withthat... “(Bette, Interview 26, p. 5)The freedom experienced within theatre allowed cast members to explorecomplex identity structures. Tallulah expressed this powerfully when describing meetingherself in the “fiction” of the stage. How others received her explorations was important.A serious audience Tallulah seemed to gauge was my own reactions to her explorations.As she played, I followed to see where she was going. Through playing with the cast,126Tallulah saw this as not judging, but simply being in the moment. In the make-believeemerged concrete experience.it was the very first time I could actually be myself— other — cause therest of my life was just a huge lie— a huge lie — cause that was the onlytime I couldjust be myself— I said stuffand you believed me — you didn’tsit there and judge me or go — that’s not true — you ‘re not feeling that(Tallulah, Interview 6, p. 24).In believing in what Tallulah had to offer, the cast was with her. The group didnot react in a way that said it did not believe her. The response was show us more. Thisreaction percolated through the group. In a sense, this had a feel of “anarchy” to it. Bythis I don’t mean chaos, rather that there is no fixed sense of “leader.” Instead, eachmember looks after the needs of others in the group without judgment, knowing that allare similarly supporting one another.“...you made me meet who I really was again and that made me feel like Ido love Tallulah... . like I — I do love me . . .for me... if I do run orwhatever.., that’s okay you know and that was the best thing you broughtout in me was that it was okay to be me.... the whole process I mean —yeah ... when I say you I mean the whole group.... it’s interesting... .you goto acting to find out who you are ... . the real you.... itinteresting.... “(Tallulah, Interview 6, p. 29).Within the working of the group, individuals developed their own sense of self.As Joan (letter, p. 2) suggested, “We developed afamily.” A big family meeting of sortswas the “frame” used for the period of talking sessions where individuals brought outvarious issues and stories, placed them in the middle of the group for playing with andengaged with them from many angles.. .to help one another while developing material forthe play. Through destructions of old forms was a coming to action. Particular psychiatricdiagnoses were accepted, by each group member, as part of identity, but were not itsdefining aspects. Within the safety of the group, the cast constructed itself like the“container” described in Chapters 2 and 3. Individuals commented on ordinary people127“acting” as part of their living, so they demonstrated how they learned that part of livingis acting. Space and distance were maintained between selves and living, so they couldmanoeuvre during difficult situations. This is an example of shifts in interstandingoccurring during the process of theatre making. Through “aimless playing” anddeveloping characters, “acting made mefigure out myself” (Tallulah, Interview 6, p. 29)was something taken away by many cast members during the experience. Performativeinquiry is about destruction of form, creative action and interaction. To find a sense ofself, each cast member worked in characterized bodies of others: psychiatrists, socialworkers, other clients, family members and nurses. It was through the “eyes” of others,participants saw themselves.Once they performed their public reflections, embodied actions allowed each towork on their identities. Co-searchers played from within the group experience, to see outinto society and develop further their understanding of whom they were. Shifts inunderstanding about one’s sense of self were conjured through actions and interactions ofindividuals-in-space. As experiences were re-imagined, retold and re-enacted, newinterpretations were conjured in co-creative ways. Freirian codification anddecodification of fragments of larger themes were at work. Performative inquirycontinually inspire questioning and playing. An individual’s sense of self was reshaped.So as newness emerged, more established forms were destroyed in creation. In Shaken:Not Disturbed this was ritualized in a piece called the Death ofNormalcy. When aperson’s identity is labelled as “mentally ill,” there is a simultaneous death (of normalcy)and birth (into difference). It is in this realization, or moment of recognition, the show’scast portrayed a collectively important instant in each member’s life. Connected to these128adjustments is the parallel amendment to other social systems each person is a part.Notably, the challenges to power in a performative inquiry often resonate and reverberatealong the connections to other social networks affected by the changes in the individualsacting as co-searchers. The death of normalcy ritual, the cast performed, registered withinthe audience as one of the most striking moments in the play. These pivotal pointshighlighted the complex nature of labelling and how each individual is complicit in theact of naming. Through the development of self-image, came eventually, self worth andself-pride. Being proud was reflected by the chant in the play with, the word the castplayed with to make its own as symbolized emergent pride....Go mental... Go mental Go mental... .Go mental....[chant from Shaken: Not Disturbed... with a twist]Mutual SupportRelated to family, the idea of the cast becoming a group of friends was powerful.Katherine suggested, “The cast was performing with one another, not at oneanother”(Interview 28, p. 32). Support existed for people to stand out before the audienceand speak, knowing the cast was standing behind each person. Family members, friends,students and mental health workers comprised most of the initial 350+ audience. As aresult, friends and loved ones came to hear unfamiliar voices speak out from familiarbodies. For some in the cast and audience alike, this public presentation was their firsttime engaged in a live performance. For others, many years had passed since they lasttried. For all, the experience was empowering. To hear the support of loved ones washumbling. Enjoying the gifts cast members brought in the packaging of their bodies wasamazing for spectators to take in. People enjoyed the ability to laugh, play and learnthrough those moments without it feeling like “therapy.” The attention of each cast129member remained on the group and one another as described in a scene Tallulahrecounted during the celebration following the performance. She was talking with agroup of spectators. As they spoke Tallulah was slowly backing up until she backed intoSidney. Tallulah was talking about the process and Sidney organizing the project.I thought it was really cool because I had someone ask me how - how it allcame about and I was talking to this lady about how it all came about andI was talking about the process that you — Sidney — oh Sidney had thisprocess— first he came in and we did the yoga and then we all thesedfferent games and then we did this and we did this — talk therapy — andthen it came to this and all that and I was talking talking talking and therewas this big group and I was going backwards, backwards, backwards,and all ofa sudden I would back into Sidney who was right behind me andhe was talking to somebody else— and he was talking about the actors inthe show so he was talking about us and I was talking about him and weturned around and we were like [laughing] remember that (Interview 6,Tallulah, p. 29).Some in the cast, like Jimmi, were seeking a role within the larger community;many have acted on this desire following the project. Receiving affirmation andacknowledgement from peers, professionals and strangers was important. Their storiesmattered and through their tales, their lives were valued. The beginning of communityrecognition created legitimacy to their emerging identity. This awareness of identitiesbeing shaped by reflections that are sent back to us highlights just how much we putstock in others’ views of ourselves. At the same time, individuals play a role indeveloping themselves through responses in others. This shift in identity plays out insubtle, yet marked ways, within the cast. Katherine, with a behavioural counsellingbackground, reminded Sidney many of the cast arrived withdrawn and unsure.For those members with agoraphobia or major depression, who sat against thewall when they nervously stepped into the rehearsal space for the first time, to standingand acting in a large barn with 350 people was striking. For Katherine, the regular contact130in engaged playing allowed her to see people before diagnoses. Labels fell away andcomplete people stood before her. This realization spilled over into her personal lifebecause Katherine was in the process of adopting two children. On the adoption form shehad marked she did not want kids at risk or with psychiatric diagnoses. Speaking with herafter the project, she wondered why she did this and changed her decision. Katherinereminded Sidney the cast would not have performed over 27 scenes in 2 hours if they didnot feel empowered. They did and this marked their sense of self in positive ways.the blossoming of a few of the participants.., to me was just... .andpeople who had anxiety disorders who were out on that stage.... that to methat was really striking to me— it kept blowing me away... I mean I had alot offun...I really enjoyed the relationships...I kept wanting to knowpeople ‘s stories I mean granted we saw people healthy— you know wedid not see people who were— who were in acute phases of mental illness— but it normalized just the fact that every day—some—you know likesomeone would come in and say my god they changed my medication anddededededede—that would just— it normalized it all — it took the stigmaaway—it —it made living with mental illness that you could maintain asense—a sense of — a semblance of normalcy— everyday ljfe— when itcomes to the consequence ofthatfor me was when Igot my applicationforadoption [in process of adopting two young children] and Ifinally got mycopy and I looked at things I was willing to accept and not— initially I hadput no for risk of depression, personality disorders and other mentalillness— and then went—why did I say no? I think f the group had not feltempowered—they would not have seen the process through—they wouldnever have agreed to be on stage—including Buster who dropped out atone point in time and decided to come back—that couldn ‘t have happenedif they hadn ‘t felt empowered—and it was the empowerment that they gotout of the process that allowed them to continue... (Katherine, Interview 7,p.6).Normalized IdentityAs more stories were told and psychiatric experiences shared, personal historiesand identities grew increasingly normalized. Pride emerged within the process and wasincluded in aspects of self, as indicated by Joan.“I became aware that a lot ofpeople suffer the same way I do and thereare ways of dealing with it. Better to talk about it than hide from it or131cover it up all the time (mental illness) and yes mentals are just likeeveryone else — just especially special no just kidding! All of us areindividuals and are people and for that — there is commonality mentalillness or no mental illness. At the same time I can really relate toTallulah, Amelia, etc. as our experiences cross each others [sic] path. Weare not our jobs, our illness, our religion, we are people that encompassexperience that Ifeel should be shared”. (Joan, letter, p. 2).She found engaged within this process were a lot of people sharing similarexperiences with her. The experience normalized her history and identity. “We are peoplethat encompass experience that Ifeel should be shared” (Joan, personal letter, p. 2).The ability to present their selves and abilities out to the community also providedan avenue for creating a public face and entry into the local society. Extending risk andtrust was important to the group because members saw me as not judging, butencouraging and having fun and taking his time. Since I took risks and trusted the group,the members, in turn, ventured out to dare and believe. Like many clients in the mentalhealth system, much of their lives are controlled, dictated and watched by various people:family, employers, medical profession and social workers. The need to develop self-confidence was in the control of others. Cast members were aware that any action that didnot fit others’ expectations was often pathologized. This performance was unexpected bythe public and was supported, creating a new sense of possibility.“...Ifelt the most comfortable like Ifeel the most comfortable on there —when we were like on stage or whatever — that’s when I feel mostcomfortable for some reason — when I’m— it’s funny okay — when I’msupposed to be livingfor real— so I’m feeling totally like Ifeel totally notnormal at all — but when— but when I’m on stage — like when we do thatthing — I think it’s because I’m — I pretend that I’m not myself becausewe ‘re acting— so Ifeel totally at ease like Ifeel— Ifeel more human andmore alive like when I’m there because Ifeel like it’s— I don ‘t have to beme— I guess — so Ijust— I don’t know what it is but Ifeel so — it’s like —it’s relaxing— it ‘s like— oh good— itjustfeels so good — it’s nice— it’s likea break ... “(Tallulah, Interview 6, p. 37).132Positive SelfTo Integrate LifeJean mentioned the experience of the show and the immediate positive and supportiveresponse from the audience envigorated the cast members with a heightened sense of“life force.” A greater connection with and in the world evolved. Amelia, the morningafter the performance, was at Open Door and humming as she prepared Sunday brunchfor the members. She was a smile personified as she said, “Last night was so awesome.I’m just skipping on cloud nine” (Field Notes, p. 452). Jean indicated the embodiment ofnew energy was taken in deeply and a part of their experience of their physical selves.She described cast members returning to Open Door after the performance as being morealive. Their skin, eyes, facial expressions and interactions with one another showed ananimation not seen by the staff for some time. Jean described the cast as being morepresent in their lives.“...as soon as we had finished the performance and coming back here[Open Door] over the next few days and having some feedback from theaudience— and stuff like that — this is a very ephemeral term or whateverbut their flfe force was showing — they were more alive through the eyes,the skin, through the expression of the face, all the clients that wereinvolved were more present.... fyou are more present in flfe you are moreempowered.... it’s because it comes from within— so it shows in a brighterskin tone— a flfted expression — a happier expression in the face — abrighter twinkle in the eye— it ‘s a visual— that you — that youfeel and seemore present— more flfe force —and- and it’s a not an elevated mood tomania— but it ‘s more like a lfled — other thing that— has shown since theperformance again — is like Tallulah walking from that job — differentexamples — standing for themselves in different ways — stronger — Joanhas joined in to work outfor the hike — because she is someone that — thatis still probably still struggled with illness enough that her presencecouldn ‘t be a hundred percent — so that’s another huge thing to commit to— Amelia was saying that Tallulah was moving to Victoria —for Buster it ‘smaintaining health and energy and being true to himself about what hisboundaries are regarding work and this kind of thing” (Jean, Interview14, p. 23).133Cast members were beginning to act in ways highlighting more self-confidenceby trying new things. Joan went on a hike. Tallulah quit ajob at a beer and wine storebecause psychiatric survivors were self-medicating with purchased alcohol. Rather thanplay a role in this self-destructive behaviour, she left the job. For someone previouslyliving on meagre disability payments, this decision spoke loudly of how she saw herselfwithin society, not at its edge. Buster decided to monitor his health more closely bylimiting how much he worked.Jean said the experience affected her sense of self, through the reactions of herprofessional colleagues within mental health services, through “...getting affirmation andthe feedback and recognition and the acknowledgementfrom peers, from otherprofessionals you know... “(Jean, Interview 14, p. 20). Still, while the focus of this studywas about voice, identity and power, the strength in marginalized stories affected thosewitnessing the play. When faced with a voice historically documented as being repressed,some mental health professionals did not agree with the experiences portrayed (Porter,1987, 2002). Psychiatrists stated the history of mental health performed in the playremained in error, rather than prevailing constructions implemented by professionals.Jean relayed her own thoughts as to how psychiatric disorder was constructed. Themanufacture of mental diagnoses has defined and patrolled limitations, particularly asmonitored by mental health professionals.“I think there ‘s three —for me personally— yes social.... within the medicalrealm the pull has always been psychotherapy versus psychiatry -just givethem the pill and they will be okay... or you don ‘t medicate we will counselyou — there ‘s brain chemisfry — there ‘s no doubt— that someone withbipolar, schizophrenia can be stabilized on medication but thepsychotherapy or counselling aspect of it needs to be there too — the socialstigma and all the power and authority which we were puttingforth in theplay — there ‘s three — there ‘s learning— interpersonal learning and134history and dealing with stresses and coping skills and cognitive stuff— allthat stuff that needs to occur alongside the medications- then the socialalso needs to also — you know get on board — or be educated or you knowwhatever so but.... when [ a social worker and psychiatrist in theaudience] heard anti-psychiatry type history it’s it was — it was just likeslapping them in the face — because you know without medications theirson Jimmi would you know he ‘s - Jimmi — he not well and he never willbe you know as far as functioning and all of that ...“ (Jean, Interview 14,p. 28).Co-Searchers’ Response To Negative ReactionA psychiatrist discussed the play in the weeks after and was not happy with the historyportrayed. He also knew the show was being remounted for the local fringe festival. Thepoint of his meeting with me was to outline his demands:• History passages being removed from the play because the negativeand destructive past experienced by most asylum inmates does notcarry forward to today’s regimes of treatment. Psychiatrists in theirpast exercised an ethic of care when working with patients.• When the response was that the history-related material would remainhe said it needed to be rewritten in a softer more compassionate formtoward psychiatry.... and he would come to the next show to hear therevisions to see fhe wasfine with them.• History needed to be “kept in its place” and had no bearing on today.• The general history contained within historians’ accounts had to matchhis specific personal experience.His response was one of interpretation. His suggestion was psychiatrists,historically, invented treatments through altruism, humanitarianism and compassion inefforts to heal and alleviate pain. There was no other agenda. The cast, hearing of thisresponse, was delighted that the group, the performance and its message was being takenseriously, but they disagreed with this physician’s response.135Straightforward SuccessWith regard to Bette and her voicing of mental disorder, she believed talking aboutpsychiatric experiences within the environment offered by the performative inquiry, wasa way to broaden perceptions of mental diversity. Through this, she changed the meaningof her own history, as well as how others viewed her. By doing this, she amended hersense of self and identity. Bette, after the popular performance, saw she was similar toeveryone else with, perhaps, some uniqueness from others. But she stated, “Aren ‘t we alljust a little different? And this is a good thing. “Diversity is normal.The last quote around identity involves Cary’s view that he was creative again,and that he had accomplished something. He also hinted at the barriers that many in thecast faced when involved with the project: the powerful effect of medication, and its sideeffects. Despite the hurdles, he accomplished something and it was in the completion ofthe project that he found a level of autonomy. For many within the cast, the ability tocommit and complete the work added to their sense of capability and functioning..1 was happy with it definitely.. .you know I have the public’s generalview— you know the pills are turning people into vegetable machines... andthat’s what the Americans call tranquilizers—the vegetable machines.... Idid all right you know-I lived up to my expectations—you know—Iaccomplished something after years of nothing—you know some peopleaccomplish things and gain power—and other people gain power andaccomplish things and sometimes it’s together... (Cary, Interview 17, p.12).The combination of finding voice and reconstructing identity was a source of(re)emerging sense of autonomy (Etymologically this has meant to “live by one’s ownlaws or customs” (load, 1993, p. 213). Within this work, I include living within one’sown habitus as well). Having discussed “voice” and “identity,” the third aspect, “power,”follows.136Power to InfluenceWith the three aspects of the work emerging (voice, identity and power), individuals’senses of autonomy played itself out in interesting and dynamic ways. Much of thestruggle was among the counsellor cast members. Cast members from the mental healthsystem, too, explored among themselves an opening sense of autonomy. The ability topresent stories created the capability of participants to influence audience members. Thepower of the cast’s collective was in reaching out with stories others in the community,often isolated, felt connected with. Working from within a group provided a sense ofprotection in that each was within something larger than him-or herself however, voicescould contribute toward the broader group identity. Power in finding one’s owneffectiveness emerged within the workings of a broader project. Through a relationshipwith transferring arising awareness from within the group to daily lives, the castexercised influence in different ways.Lauren, a student counsellor, informed the cast the play moved ani 8 year-oldwoman in the audience to find therapeutic help. The play let the spectator know she wasnot alone. Portrayed by the cast were experiences she endured in her life as well. Thepopular performance’s power was in its ability to normalize experience for clients in theaudience as well as among cast members...I have a counselling relationship develop as a result ofsomebody beingthere [at the play] and she sort of approached me and the wholepresentation of the play hadjust moved her so much— she felt so isolateduntil she saw the play ... at the age of 20 she was feeling very isolated —with a lot of things that we were just out there doing right and she said‘wow ‘—holy shit f they ‘re doing this — that means I’m not alone— andthat’s huge—I mean at 18 to have that lfled- and they ‘re already feelingmarginalized too... (Lauren, Interview 24, p. 13).137For the counsellors engaged in the process, power seemed to be continuallyconsidered. Jean mentioned both her own location within the broader mental healthindustry and the work of popular theatre. Being directly involved with clients of thepsychiatric system gave her the greatest direct contact because it grounded access topeople needing/wanting support. While this has concrete influence over individuals,relative power within the mental health system was low. What resulted was a trade off.She had intimate contact with clients as part of the system, but no way to change it toaddress psychiatric survivors’ needs. If she were a member of management she wouldhave less influence on an individual level, but more opportunity to change the system. Infundamental terms, psychiatric survivors exist within the mental health industry. Jean feltcaught in this through being directly connected to the members of Open Door, but withrelatively little institutional power to effect change. The machinery of mental institutionscaptured and held Jean. She eventually left because of the disempowerment she felt.I’ve got - you know — sixteen something an hour you know — no benefitsand causal work and this kind of thing— but I have the greatest access topeople at the human level—I mean I’m sure that I could still maintainbeing a human in another capacity — but you start adding on all the thingsthat separate you— doors and appointments andyou know this that and theother thing—it’s very difficult—I mean certainly continuing to be involved inthe theatre project will keep me there—will keep me there—but you know Igo and become a case manager and it’s one on one and you makeappointments and yeah you might go out on the ward and do some helpwith them individually and whatever but mostly you arrange that— you ‘relike the social arranger ... Ijust wanted to point out that on the scale ofthepower continuum my job is closest to the client... (Jean, Interview 14, p.43).Power also played out through tensions. While the psychiatric survivors withinthe cast were more accepting of the process, the non-clients/counsellors were not. Onecounsellor strongly mentioned she was “more comfortable with rehearsals having aclear purpose and motivation and with more ofthe lines memorized” (Katherine,138Interview 8, P. 7). She remained the one person throughout demanding order, control anddirection from beginning to end. Less faith was held by the counsellors toward the castbeing able to work through ambiguity in their own way. Interestingly, when Katherinetook on the activity of timing scenes and transitions, she became “in her element” ofmeasurement and having control over something. Time measurement was concrete andknown for her; at the end of each rehearsal she reported various times and deviationsfrom previous rehearsals. She was tracking our progress with regard to the production’srun time. This was the same person having a strong response to the group trust exercises.Did a connection exist between her demand for order and predictability involving thegroup and her lessened ability to trust? This question remains unanswered, but my beliefis that there was an experience of transgressive interstanding that occurred. For othersamong the counsellors, they found the tug of wanting to take control strong, but theylearned to trust the chaos of the process. Katherine was puzzled when, like a light switch,it all fell into place. The same thing occurred at the fringe festival. Chaos ensued whencast members arrived at the performing venue for the technical rehearsal; performanceswere focussed and ordered. The technical manager later said privately to me he wasafraid, while watching the technical rehearsal, the performance was going to be a disaster.However, he marvelled at how from ambiguity emerged an ordered, articulate andemotionally powerful show.Acceptance ofRisk Opens to Sense ofAutonomyAs was described in Chapter 2, both the Freirian and popular theatre models work incycles. Parts of the process repeated, as is anticipated within popular education, tofacilitate engaged learning. The reiteration of rehearsals provided a deepened sense of139groundwork to carry out the group’s inquiry. A need arose, occasionally, to guide the castthrough the teaching of theatre games and exercises. Rather than experiencing unlimitedspace and freedom to explore and wander, some loose boundaries arose. In being lesscontrolling, deeper ideas and experiences bubbled out. If the process were overlydirective throughout, a result would be early pathway foreclosures and a taking away ofpower from the cast members. In standing back and encouraging meandering, non-clientmembers discovered how flexible the facilitator’s role was.Cast members took risks, particularly the clients among us. One person, Cary, feltuncomfortable dancing and initially did not want to participate, but wound up in all threedance pieces because he decided he wanted to try. Bette, Buster, Joan and Amelia wrotepoetry, when they felt they had nothing to say or couldn’t be creative. Some took on rolesthat symbolized authority, and with which they were uncomfortable, initially, but workedthrough their feelings and found some interstanding between character and themselves.They performed these foreign roles with sensitivity and virtuosity.Tenacity As PowerOne of the key lessons learned from within the client cast was they could commit tosomething over a long period of time and complete it. What helped hold participants tothe process was the continual evolving and shaping of what unfolded through key parts ofthe popular theatre cycle. As the co-searchers shifted from group formation to playingand learning about theatre and onward to play development and performance, somethingwas always waiting for the group beyond the next horizon of activity.One of the challenging aspects, while working with psychiatric survivors, is thatattention spans tend to be quite short and energy levels tend to ebb and flow dramatically.140Sticking to something and finishing it was the biggest achievement some in the groupexperienced. This lesson influenced their interactions with others in their lives. Ratherthan be told they were limited to small projects they now had the belief they can do more.This experience was an impetus to influence others in what a particular cast member wascapable. This was one of the important “moments of recognition” felt among the cosearchers. The realization the group remained with something for many months wasprofound. While this may seem to be a small thing on the surface, many clients in theaudience during post-performance interviews did not think the cast would last through ayear and four community performances. Seeing this, psychiatric survivors outside of theproject wondered if they could do the same thing.... this seemed to offer hope. Beginningwith nothing, through to the creation of a two-hour production, was an important lesson.The cast felt confident and successful in finding an empty space, making it their own andcreating something unique to them. In committing to this project, they discovered powerexisted in seeing something through, despite a few bumps and the aura of uncertainty.The drift and flow of play created an animated energy often coming with “firstlearning.” This feeling and experience was something they anticipated each week.Amelia and Tallulah spoke of getting their “theatre clothes” all cleaned and set out acouple of days before “theatre night.” The act of getting ready created the links to theritual and energy within our container each week. They found power in perseverance.Equally, power existed through the confidence in accomplishment, particularlysomething creative. For some in the cast, it had been years since they had taken onanything large or creative and completed it; to see something produced through theirefforts. Collective energy. Working as a group was in itself quite empowering; no longer141did each feel alone. They, through their joined work, forged strong relationships andfriendships ... cooperative power. . . .group presence.The popular theatre process created was a respectful one, as indicated by one ofthe counsellors, Lauren. She said this did not happen in her life. Also, as a studentcounsellor, she came from a traumatic past where she often found herself in destructiveand powerless situations. Within much popular theatre, power is diffuse and spans inmultiple directions, where each participant is encouraged to seek autonomy.it was an affirmation to keep believing in that which makes yourespectful of an individual—I think that was it for me—and I think in mycase that could be a little misplaced... (Lauren, Interview 24. p. 16)..for myselfI saw you trying to give me personal power and I didn ‘t wantit— I don ‘t want it you take it— (laughing) I’m not taking it— I’ll walk awayfrom it— I don ‘t want it— which is what I do right—go—I get stuck withcertain things and then I’m like I’m not taking it—I’ll run (laughing) soyeah I don ‘t really stick to my power and the other thing I noticed isbecause I don ‘t take to—take it or I can be quite passive in that way — and Idon ‘t take power—and there can be sometimes when I’m overpoweringbecause I don ‘t have my own kind ofpower balance—there was a momentwhen I started to feel getting pushed around by some of the other peoplethat ... .so I had to stand up to a couple ofpeople—and I did but it wasreally uncomfortable for me—so here I go and it always feels way biggerthan it is in the moment—so it’s like—I have to take my space and I have tosay something because I’m passive but I don ‘t them to take charge overme—and so had to do that a few times—and it made—and then it seemed tofeel like there was more respect and camaraderie then—and I thinkpressure played a bit and eventually I had to stand my ground... the bigpart for me is that people really wanted to open up and expressthemselves—and any way that workedfor them and the discomfortfor someof the helping professions that night at the barn [dress rehearsal night—when the helping professionals wanted to postpone the show]—betweenthose two things and then its impact—and the issue of control in thehelpingprofessions ... (Lauren, Interview 24. p. 18)Yet, for Lauren (and Katherine), even the safety of our constructed placeremained a risky “home” because of power’s presence and the sharing of it. The castguided and helped Lauren express her influence within the group while opening up her142personal cycle of passivity. She found, when working in any group, certain types ofpersonalities took control away from her. While this cast was respectful, she found acounsellor asserting decisions on the group and on Lauren personally. The experiencebrought back old memories. Lauren, normally more withdrawn, had to assert herself withthis other cast member. This experience sparked questions involving issues withintherapy and control. How do therapists share authority with clients? Or do they?Power In LabellingFor Bette, authority was found in labelling and power’s manifestation throughcategorizing identity, particularly if this is done by the mainstream. She described waysnaming affected her. She stated if someone had a mental “problem,” but was notdiagnosed, the person was normal. If an individual has a psychiatric issue and isdiagnosed and receives treatment they remain “broken.” The “mad” label, and howprofessionals interact with this, is a strong disincentive for people seeking help. Whatshould be an act of empowerment (seeking aid), results in an embodiment ofpowerlessness (a psychiatric diagnosis). From the show, Bette took on the word“mental” as a word of pride.“I think for the people that came—I think it helped—I think it was aninitiation into mental health issues and it was much needed and I thinkmore of this is needed because still there ‘s so much- issues that goesaround with it you know—we have issues with professionals themselves notbelieving that once a patient has been medicated and has been found sortof to be stable and everything ‘s going fine—that somehow there ‘s stillsomething inherently wrong with this individual—whether or not beforethey had any medication or anything whatever to indicate that there wasanything wrong with them basically anyway—they’d never done anythingwrong but now that they have a label—and they ‘re medicated well there ‘sdefinitely something wrong with you — so I think there ‘s a long way to gobetween—I can have a mental health issue and not see anyone and I ‘mfindbut if I have a mental health issue and I see a professional and I do allthose other things that ‘I’m supposed to do’ that there ‘s then—now143something really wrong with me—so would I rather be a person withmental illness that c untreated or would I rather be one that ‘.s’ treated —well it seems that f I’m treated then I’m labelled — and then I’m livinggarbage and I can ‘tfit in—but that that’s something I learnedfrom it [theplay] too- it made me a little annoyed—if I have one and I don ‘t tellanybody then it’s okay—but if I have one and I tell people and I’mmedicated and all the rest of it then there ‘s somehow a difference betweenme then and me now — there ‘s no difference between me then and me nowand intellectually there ‘s no difference between me then and now...so Idon ‘t care ifpeople know Jam a mental you see... but even the whole word‘mental’ . . right.., we ‘re using that now as a word of pride...” (Bette,Interview 26, p. 17).Buster mentioned an audience member was moved cathartically by the play.However, he was not. Perhaps he was not because of the emotionally deadening effects ofpsychotropic drugs. The ability to express emotions was something Buster was interestedin because he did not know how to work with the “in-between” emotions falling outsideof happiness, sadness and anger. He did understand the influence the group exerted inreaching the woman he spoke with from the audience. This spectator re-experienced herown history of mental oppression, through the show, to find a form of catharsis. Theexperience was a source of affirmation for her.One nice lady was talking to me about the play — some of them got a kickout of it you know and one lady told me it brought back a lot ofemotions —over what she went through — with the system — said it was like anemotional wringer for her— like the fight she had with the system — it wascathartic for her— to see us work through it — she can at least mentallywork through it at the same time — it really wasn ‘t one — that wordfor me— I didn ‘t get into the emotional part of it — it really wasn ‘tcathartic... (Buster, Interview 27, p. 15).The show brought joy, laughter, sadness and anger. Being able to affect anotheron an emotional level had strong effects on Buster. His label of schizophrenia and hismedications stifled the displaying of emotion for him, but being able to provoke feelingsin others was moving.144Joan initially spoke of not agreeing with the lives portrayed in the production.She, then, described scenes from her own life, which were portrayed by others in theplay. This affirmed for her: we are the same. Joan found she, too, had to negotiate insimilar ways to get what she needed from her psychiatrist. He did not listen to Joan’srequests, so she yelled at him until he listened. She was supported by her caseworker.Prior to the project, Joan preferred being more passive and non-confrontational. Shementioned she often remained quiet, compliant and non-resistant. Now she assertedherself with regard to her medical needs.I wasn ‘t sure I agreed on all aspects of the production — like Dr. Doolittle— because recently I have had good people to help me but to begin with Iknow I had to argue with a nurse, family, psychiatrist, not to totally fuckme up! To restate this I did have to argue with my psychiatrist last yr. toget him to listen to me. He actually suggested I get another psychiatrist—when I said o.k I’d go back to Van. And really blew up at him. His cheeksstarted burning he listened and hoped that I wouldn ‘tJIre him with a smileon his face. Why did it get to that point! It also helped that I had my caseworker in the room with me and he totally supported me. We now have agood patient/doctor relationship and he lets me borrow some of hismedical book (Joan, letter, p. 2).Emerging AutonomyAmelia discovered she took some of what she experienced in theatre and carried it intoher broader life. With her agoraphobia, Amelia did not leave her home often. Before shestarted the project, she stated she had not left her apartment in the evening for over twoyears. After the popular performance, she discovered through the Emotional Walk she canleave her home by talking to herself, saying,a lot oftimes just like from walkingfrom home to here [Open Door]— Iget really nervous- and I— I hyper-ventilate or I hold my breath and stufflike that and with the acting now I walk along and I ‘act’ (laughter) I doand I just go and act like you’re you know an average person walkingdown the street and it like something takes over in me and it’s likehahahaha look at me everybody, here I am walking down the Street(laughter) and I can do that without being singled out... I mean you look at145each situation in your ljfe as an acting — role — cause you — I can say wellright now my role is to be sitting here talking with Sidney and Tallulahabout the play.... (Amelia, Interview 6, P. 28)She said an inner voice would assure her and she would be comfortable walkingthrough the town’s streets. One day, she discovered people “act” to get through theirlives. Amelia saw these as “masks” on people’s faces she talked to. She wondered, “Dowe ever engage with the realness in others?” (Interview 6, p. 98). She discovered theseare not an accurate sense of an individual. She found by doing the same — wearing a mask- Amelia had more autonomy to engage in community life.Buster was aware he made choices, particularly as they related to the theatregroup. When the cast was invited to perform at the local fringe festival, Buster decided hewas going to remain on disability benefits and not work at all. Performing was a higherpriority for him and the cast needed his presence. He made a decision focussing onothers, rather than on his immediate needs. This was reflective of power in the form ofmaking decisions concerning others.I can reapply for disability yes but don ‘t tell me — have you filed for El[Employment Insurance] or were you turned down — did you have enoughhours— so the process is get my pay — and get my time and get my El[Employment Insurance] going—and I’m sill trying to get an ROE [RecordofEmployment] from my employer and take itfrom there right — and thenI’ll go off— fEl turns me down— Ishould befihingfor disability now too —I should go in three today and see if— see fI can get an apartmentfrom Iand go from there too also— tell them I’m going to applyfor El— and fEl—fI don ‘t have enough hours or something then 1 can go back to disabilityand we ‘11 gofrom there but I’m not lookingfor ajob too seriously becausethe play has got to be hammered up— hammered out this week and we ‘yegot to do three performances [at the Duncan Fringe Festival] I’m notapplyingfor work because the play is the priority... (Buster, Interview 27,p. 15).For many in the cast, a major step taken was the longer-term project entered intoand completed a year later. Committing to something outside of their daily lives was a146struggle for many, but the sense of accomplishment felt by all in the group wasoverwhelming. Tallulah found power in being able to commit to something so large andfor so long. She found being involved for 12 months was a “huge humanaccomplishment” (Interview 6, p. 23) and source of personal pride. Amelia felt the sameway. She wanted to “savour the moment ofsuccess” (Interview 6, p. 43). Being creativeand productive generates autonomy.I don’t even know what the word “commitment” means like J’m horriblewith commitment— like two husbands and like two you know divorces andcan ‘t commit to like a boyfriend— can ‘t commit to a job or justcommitment — Ijust cannot commit — so the word commitment — but I —this actually committed to — I didn ‘t always make it to every single one[rehearsal]— but from start to finish— and still committing kind of like —kinds — still there — that’s amazing — like that ‘s actually something to beproud of— like you don ‘t have to bury your head in the sand — but I didthis one thing— so it’s a real — it’s a huge human accomplishment — athing ofpride for me — huge kind ofpride” (Tallulah, Interview 6, p. 23).“Ifelt like I was sooooooo — I was sooooooo proud ofmyself— and I waslike— was just like on — like just floating — I just felt so good — and Iwanted to just savour the moment— and I didn ‘t need to have peoplearound or anything like that —just being by myselfyou know and I — and Iwas just like yeah.... I feel good... .1 did it... .1 went all the waythough.... and did it you know? (Amelia, Interview 6, p. 43)Tallulah also mentioned a story involving her move to Victoria with herboyfriend. She began ajob at a beer and wine store but soon quit. As she was servingcustomers, she noticed several mental health clients coming in to purchase alcohol.Tallulah did not realize the frequency she would recognize others, living with mentaldisorder, coming in to purchase alcohol to self-medicate. This was a sure road to selfdestruction and a road Tallulah, herself, had been on years before. Not wanting to involveherself in others’ self-destruction, Tallulah quit the job. This decision to leave was amoral one. This marked a pivotal time in her life around issues of employment. Shemade a decision going beyond her own life and it was more about the care of others’147welfare. Tallulah moved to other employment involving the care, rather than thedestruction, of others and helping... she was moving into areas not familiar to her and asshe stated after the project...Ifyou stay with the known,Idon ‘t think you learn (Tallulah, Interview 6, p. 43)Emotional PowerFrom some of the emotional work done in the earlier part of the process, Ameliadiscovered she could manage some of the negative aspects within her life and forTallulah this, historically, involved pleasing others first. In the process she lost herself.This changed for both Amelia and Tallulah as a result of their experience in “acting.”After the performative inquiry and theatre-making process wrapped up, evidence oflearning migrated out of our circle into the broader lives of players. The most immediatedealt with making choices for one’s self rather than pleasing others.Power ofCreativityTallulah spoke of creative power involving acts of destruction. To build, something hadto be destroyed. She likened this to fixing a chair. This was a metaphor for her life.Rather than try and keep old bits of her life, she wanted to make a clean break and startcompletely new. Shortly after the project, Tallulah moved away.before you can fix something you have to blow it to shreds—and then youcan start rebuilding—you know—you just can ‘t go okay like there ‘s fourlegs on the chair—take one offand then kind of teeter it andput a new oneon—you know and then you ‘ye got three oldies—still—and then one newone—like it’s better just to wreck the whole chair—get some new wood—thenstart again— otherwise you still have creaks and— you know what I mean —you can ‘t just — that’s what I think anyway —I think you just do it and it’srebuild it —and then it ‘s going to be solid — they ‘11 all be the same kind ofwood... (Tallulah, Interview 6, p. 21).148Both Tallulah and Amelia stated they, previous to the project, let negative thingsoccur to them. They, now, had controls to help turn things into positives, while helping tomaintain a sense of discipline in their lives. They discovered power in choice. They founda safe, supportive and accepting space within the group and were not going to settle for“second best” any more. Amelia and Tallulah felt they deserved better (Interview 6).Rather than place themselves second to others’ wishes, they were going to look afterthemselves first.that f I— jf I can take something and— that has the potential for me tohave a negative effect— that I can take it and I have the controls to turn itinto something positive for myself—by making the choice to be that—instead of letting it happen to me— fI chose to at the performance to nothave that good time and fI chose to I could have been very nervous andyou know might have had a catastrophe (chuckle) on stage or something-but I chose—like I realized that I could make the choice to make somethinggo my way I wanted it go to and it did— and that was really, reallybig.. .yeah (Amelia, Interview 6, p. 25)I guess the only way you could do that is by doing what you really loveand hanging around people that honestly know you and accept you. Nowthat I’ve got that—I can ‘t go back and I won ‘t go back and I — and I — andI—and I can ‘t- and it’s like—I’m sorry and I might hurt a lot ofpeoplealong the way— and I might— and I might you know— people— before Iwould have done— I would have done what people wanted me to do tomake the people around me feel good— but now it’s like you know whatI’m going to do what I want to do and if it doesn ‘t make you or yourcompany or you know whateverfeel good well I’m not— I’m not you know— I’m not Tallulah the people-pleaser cause I’ve been pleased and I—Iwant to be pleased— it feels good and I like it and that’s how I want it tobe— I still will be myself but I— I have put a— I’ve gone to the next leveland I’m not going down— this elevator’s going up...some people just linethe way society tells them or the way Earth, this planet, tells them anddictatorship or— or whatever it is — propaganda— and make us watch TVor whatever and theyjust — they just like to be like robots or however theybelieve— man once you ‘ye got the key to freedom it’s kind of nice causeyou ‘re like— that ‘s great andyou go you know I’m sorry youfeel that wayor it ‘s great that you think that way but this is how Ifeel and this is whatI’m going to do...when I do things that I—I need to understand that I’mdoing them for myselfand notfor someone else...(Tallulah, Interview 6, p.44)149I had afriend who I— a very close friend— I used to go over and I’d visither almost every day or every second day — and then when the play startedgetting really busy I started a little bit less going over and stuff and thenthe night before the play I was over there and she was all — Oh, yeah, I’mcoming...I’m coming...I’m going to be there and blah blah blah andevei’ything and she never showed up— I wasn ‘t overly surprised because Ikind of know she does these things and Ifelt— I actually felt more sadforher— for not coming to the play because I thought this was such animportant thing to me and she knew it and she didn ‘t come to support meand well I accepted that she didn ‘t come but I— I did itfor — in the longrun I realized that I did it for me and I wasn’t going to please somebodyelse and we ‘re not friends anymore— well, I hadn ‘t seen her for otherthings as well like cause like I went to her place after not going for threeweeks cause the play finished— and even she said I thought you wouldhave more time now that the play ‘s over but in actuality I was likecatching up— on other things and so I didn’t end up going over for afewweeks and— and then when I went over I thought we ‘d at least talk aboutthe play — but any time I brought it up it was not important to her— I washurt by that and so the other night was the final straw when I— like I said Ihadn ‘t see her for three weeks and I came over to visit and in— instead ofvisiting with me she played Nintendo and then when I asked— or she said fyou are wondering why I’m playing this game it’s cause I have nothingbetter to do — and I went— I’m right here and she was — and she just burstout laughing in myface — she laughed— so I took my coffee cup and I saidwell I’m finished with that and I’m out ofhere ...when Istuck upfor myselflast night and— and that was something that maybe yeah I wouldn ‘t havedone before— and it was only a small little thing but it mean a lot to meobviously because it bothered me so I knew I had a choice of like well Idon ‘t say anything and this might happen again and I’ll feel bad again —or I say something and the person at least gets the opportunity as well tohear my information and then they can make a choice in how they want toreact and if they choose to react - well— live with it— or I’m sorry thenthat’s their choice but I still realize again back to the realization that Imake the choice— you ‘re [Sidney] so good for me really good (Amelia,Interview 6, p. 38)Despite my suggesting the project be done with them in mind, group memberssuggested it was about reciprocity or giving back. I helped them through the theatreprocess and production. They wanted to help me through the interviews and wanted meto let them know when this study was to be presented so they can be supportive in return.In the end, it was not about any one person. It was about cast members getting what eachneeded from working together.150Putting The Pieces TogetherAmong the cast, was a last minute inclusion of a survivor, Jimmi. His responsibility washelping with scene transitions through playing his well-known discordant music. Thisrole meant he had to watch for the beginnings and endings of scenes. This was going tobe a challenge because his psychiatric diagnosis and drugs reduced his attention span toshort periods. What he wanted to do was play music. Throughout the show he was righton cue.Sidney... .Sidney... . this was great... .1 have learned a lot like — I watchedfor your cues throughout the show so I knew when tostart ...stop... .start yeah... .so I had to watch the whole show to watchfor cues... .1 watched the show and it was awesome... .1 watched and Ilearned a lot ... .1 watched for Iwo whole hours...yeah....I was right onwith the cues wasn’t I...yeah... .like I wanted it to sound good ... .to add tothe play....it worked didn’t I.... Yeah ... .like....J watched the wholeplay...there was lots there... .okay I’m done now... .(Jimmi, Field Notes, p.58)The initial question of: What shifts occur within a group ofrural adults living withmental disorder(s) as it developed andpresented an absurdist popular theatre communityproduction? was about relationship. Dialogical experience is critical within populareducation work and is embraced within theatre. As I performatively reflected on theinitial guiding question at home, it was Jimmi and a “moment of recognition” from himthat helped put the pieces of identity, voice and empowerment together. Months after theshow, he was talking to the cast about a particular incident in his life. A mental healthprofessional, presumably an expert in mental functioning, had stated to Jimmi that hewould never marry because he was perceived as “broken” and not normal. Jimmi wasdevastated when he heard this comment. This sentiment was something he carriedthrough his life. His rhetorical question affirmed my reflections:151How can someone who is an expert in mental health not understand howthat comment is hurtful? He has the expert knowledge and power aboutthe subject ofmental health but I’m a person who hasfeelings and dreams— his comment took all of that away. (paraphrase from Noble Notes, p.158).Performing... UnderstandingIdentity.... VoicePower.... Respect?Reciprocity?EmpowermentA person in authority understood the abstractions of mental health, but did not considerthe human feelings, dreams, aspirations and the concrete living of the person bound upwithin mental impairment. It did not matter whether he had sexual experience, a romanticlife, or a possibility for something more. Reflecting on the stories of the cast members,slowly themes and sub-themes emerged, as outlined in Chapters 3-4, helping guide thefitting of these pieces (Figure 15 on page 153). Jimmi’ s story helped reinforce thedirection taken in my reflections was a resonant one.The inner triangle in the figure underscores the connection of the outside pieces.Having voice and power, alone, suggests an imposition of will and perception on toothers, minimizing the possibility for understanding. Having voice and identity, withoutpersonal power, creates oppression rather than empowerment. A speaking self is not themaking of the marginalized individual. Rather, both are likely to be constructed throughpowerful others and their abilities of erasure, as has been the instance with this group ofindividuals living with psychiatric diagnoses. Having identity and power, alone, does notgenerate reciprocity.152The inner triangle gives a clue as to how these failures of misunderstanding, non-reciprocity and disempowerment can be overcome. Through what was revealed in theexperience of this group, three key elements are required to achieve acts of knowledgeacross difference: sharing and caring, being respectful and non-judgmental; and the spacefor the performance of one’s knowledge.RESPECTFULF NON-JUDGINGSummaryThe purposes of this research were to disrupt “normal” ways of thinking aboutpsychiatric diversity by challenging prevailing notions of mental “illness” and create- PERFORMINGOF ONE’SKNOWLEDGESHARINGCARINGriujJiFigure 15. Emerging relationships of voice, identity andpower through performative inquiry/popular theatre in thelives of psychiatric survivors153better relationships between psychiatrically diagnosed and other people. There are strongindications that these have been met. This chapter drew on the stories and experiences ofcast members as they reflected through interviews following the project. Interstandinginto their own personhood came through with learning being significant on a number oflevels. Jimmi learned he takes in a lot of information and experiences in one sitting andso can contribute to a large project through his improvisational ability to link piecestogether into a whole. Tallulah, Amelia, Jimmi, Cary, Buster and Joan learned they couldcommit to a long and involved project — and saw this one through to its end. This, alone,was seen as a large success because each began a new interstanding of psychiatricdiagnosis. Amelia learned how to use acting to help with her day-to-day living as hasTallulah. All mentioned they know they can be creative and their efforts have value in thelarger community.Counsellors gained insight as well. Requirement for control and refamiliarizing tothe unpredictable and shifting needs of others was a struggle for some, but they grew tounderstand the need for the process being chaotic and ambiguous. A high degree offlexibility was called for when working with many people in a creative venture wheremultiple voices all wanted to be heard in their own unique ways. Others also saw thedramatic growth and change among cast members and were witness to the stories ofcomplex emotion. They also interstood more of themselves as counselors in relation tothe process of counseling as this is informed by new awareness of psychiatric diagnosis.Differences among cast members diminished until people coming together to create andperform stories remained. The next chapter turns to audience responses to determine howshifts in awareness and relationships emerged as a result of the play.154CHAPTER SIXCOMMUNITY EVIDENCEOF PERFORMATIVE INQUIRYIntroductionLast chapter, the cast’s reactions were reviewed, particularly through notions of change inidentity, voice and power. As each member reflected on experiences within the process oftheatre making, translations were made between learning in performativity and everydaylife. This chapter presents the audience’s perceptions and the implications of thisfeedback. Just as with the previous chapter, the key areas explored are voice, identity andpower (as the audience saw the cast and how this became reflected among the spectators).Before the community responses are discussed, an overview of the performance isdescribed. On May 13, 2003, the door to the poultry barn-turned- performance space wasopened. Our advertisement was for a show time of 6:30 p.m. The audience anticipated ashow running of something less than two hours. The perception was this was going to bea 30-minute piece. The opening pre-act, the “Freak Show,” was to planned to begin at6:15 p.m., when the doors opened, until 6:30 p.m., when the play started. Whenspectators continued to come after 6:30 p.m., the performance’s beginning was postponed15 minutes. At 6:45 p.m. the main play began. Counting remaining programs, in a townof 4,500, over 350 people attended.it was a breath offresh air — in many ways for me — yeah and as I said Iwould much rather have this than you know perfect London courtproduction— something like that which Ifind really boring — it’s so cleanand neat — I wouldfall asleep— and I wouldn ‘t asleep in this flaughter] sothere you go (Audience Interview 1, p. 2)This show was more like a Happening in some respects. An experience wascreated that brought together and integrated various rural community segments together.155Many in the audience, typically, did not attend theatre with this being the exceptionbecause many knew someone in the show.I saw lots ofpeople that I know from around Duncan — there were a bunchofmy ex-students there that work in thefield either in the mental healthfield or in the or supporting people with um intellectual disabilities in —that I saw there — so I was happy to see them there and - and - and thatexperience and I saw lots ofother people that I knew I recognized— and I- I talk — that I thought about was gee I wonder how mental illness youknow touches people— when you see somebody at a - at an event like that— and they’re probably looking at me thinking gee I wonder what he ‘sdoing here— and I’m looking at them saying gee in wonder what they’redoing here andyou don ‘t andyou know other than saying hi to each otherwe don ‘t ask each other those questions about what we ‘re doing there umso I think that it kind ofurn you know from afrom afrom a community thatwhat it told me was that mental illness can affect —you know that affectseverybody (Audience Interview 5, p. 24)The audience was not a typical group of spectators. These were not peopleaccustomed to understanding the nuances of watching live acting. Some had a richexperience in this, but many did not. The crowd was unique because many did not knowwhat to expect, while others had their expectations shaken (and disturbed!).Looking at the audience, non-typical theatre goers— thereforepeople/topic not theatre was the focus— mental illness affects everyone(Audience Interview 5, p. 3)Onlookers included a number of psychiatrists, general practitioners, socialworkers, friends and family of cast members in addition to people outside the mentalhealth field, mental health clients and high school students. In some respects theperformance “sang to the choir.” Yet, in a substantial way new experiential learning andawareness occurred.The Scream of Silenced VoicesI did not expect that there would be such a comprehensive treatment ofsomany issues. I did not expect such a political stance from the performers.What I found the most striking/memorable was the performers156commitment to each other and to telling their stories with nocompromising. I think the most successful scenes were the ones that wereenacted by the people who were dealing directly with the issues. (EmailedAudience Responses, p. 3)An Evening’s EntertainmentBefore the audience entered the performance space, their anticipation was shaped byproduction elements. Spectators brought lawn chairs for their seating. Audience memberswere confronted by a “doctor” “warning” them about “the dangers” they were about toenter. A list of “rules” was posted outside the barn for audience members to read andkeep in mind. While this was going on outside, the interior of the barn was filled with aloud soundscape of an asylum of days past, complete with emergency room publicaddress system sounds, telephones, screams, crying, repeated whispers all included insemi-darkness. The set-up was one of “Sunday entertainment” from centuries ago whenasylums were opened up for inmates to be put on display for local townspeople. In orderto gain entry, a small door was navigated forcing most in the audience to stoop andmanoeuvre into the darkness beyond. Once inside, the cast’s voices and pre-recordedsound effects created a powerful, almost overwhelming soundscape as lawn chairs wereset up. The audience was taken aback by this immediate awakening into the content.Some liked this; others did not. Regardless, the reaction toward the opening was strong,so the effect was one of bumping people into discomfort.by the way Ifound that first uh — [laughter]— I think I’ll come a little latenext time— it ah — it ah— it was definitely powerful— urn but it also goesback many years— it goes back many years— you know — it’s not like that— some younger people were urn a little disturbed by it (AudienceInterview 1, p. 17)Ifound that part um really powerful— that thatfirst set— thatfirst scene —that kind ofwhere people had their masks on and the music and the sort ofwhat seemed like aimlessness you know— that that lost— their aimlessnessor whatever- whatever the whatever it was— that urn you know that part I157- Ifound that — Ifound that really powerful and the guy playing the guitarI liked you know - I liked that - I liked that — I liked that you know that thatwas sort offreeform too (Audience Interview 5, p. 3)the beginning stuck with me — but urn in a good ultimately — I liked it - Iwas a little freaked out by it -by by the end I was glad it was there(Audience Interview 18, p. 19).The cast wanted to create a strong beginning to quickly move individuals’attention into the space and stories. The idea was to knock audience members off balance,to shake, but not disturb, to open up their receptivity: this was not typical theatre.Reactions of audience members varied from a psychiatrist stating this was the way it wasin the 1960s when he began his career, to anger from a few stating, “IVhy didyou have tostart like that? I suppose it suits Duncan I didn ‘t like it and I didn ‘t hate it... it made meangry” (Audience email 3, p. 1). Some teenagers needed to leave until the opening hadpassed. But to many spectators, this was one of the most powerful aspects of theperformance.Silenced Voices In A Small TownOne of the aspects of small town and rural living was in this audience the voice ofthe cast was felt strongly. Coupled with the intensity, intimacy affords, the “loudness” ofsilenced voices can be overwhelming, more because of the rarity of the voice than what issaid. Many of the cast were regularly seen on the streets of the town as street cleaners,gardeners, movers, or simply living their lives; all were neighbours to many in theaudience. Social connections in small towns created an immediately intimate, personalconnection. The unfamiliarity in hearing from usually non-visible psychiatric survivorsevoked a theatre experience that was both engaging and powerful. The performance158literally grabbed spectators early on. Previously, the voices heard often came fromauthorities speaking on their behalf, as is also the case within the city.The opening piece on suicide was striking because many in the audience had lostloved ones this way. Society was too tough, isolating, demeaning, silencing andoppressive for them. Lighting a candle in memory of loved ones reminded audiencemembers about depression and suicide. This was overwhelming. The “ritual” evoked forsurvivors in the community why the “mental closet” was pried open during theperformance: to save people, to enlighten others and to broaden acceptance of diversemental identities. While performers executed scenes, projections on the backstage walloutlined aspects of being a psychiatric survivor in Canada. Slides conveyed informationabout suicide, diagnosis, economic statistics and ways to help.what struck me the most was that urn the thing about um suicide — that urnthe stuffyou projected— that list ofstuff at the beginning — I looked at itand it said that urn men were overfour times more likely to commit suicidethan women — that really struck me (Audience Interview 3, p. 3).Hearing VoicesThe authenticity of the voices, based in remembered experience, created a strength thatcannot be achieved if this show were carried out within a docudrama or performativeethnographical work performed by professional others removed from the stories. In thesetheatre forms, typically, outsiders perform on behalf of those whose experiences theproduction was drawn.The majority of this show was an amalgamation of various bits of personalexperience blended into a universal tale. The profound power of the actors-as-peopleportraying-themselves was felt deeply by many in the audience.159it was very clear that there was a lot of — a very positive impact for thepeople particularly because they told me — [chuckle] and they were tellingeach other and it was just very clear that it was — so me as a personattending it could see that— and then hear — could see pretty well duringthe production and then definitely after the production — they spoke like it-everybody was— I can ‘t speak for someone in the audience foreverybody - that everybody was — I talked to at least haifa dozen or morepeople —performers and they were all — they all had sort ofbought into ityou know they all had a vested interest in - in what was going on and urnand I mean that kind of comes out in the play but it comes it comes outmuch more strongly afterwards when you could talk to people and theycan talk about it and what urn— how — what issues meant more to themthan other issues and the way — and people were very forth comingabout that — because I was actually asking some of those questions — youknow I was saying you know how did you feel you know about saying thisor that or doing that part and people were — you know they would talkabout it and they— so they — it led to discussion about some of the issuesthat they were dealing with ... I thought that was a good part of theprocess (Audience 9, p 22-23)Spectators sensed an immediate legitimacy in the performance because the cast’ssocial location was from where the material emanated. Also, the audience felt theownership and commitment of the actors toward the popular performance. Thisproduction was not something imposed on the cast, but the group made the piece throughcollectively co-creating. The debriefing following the performance was integral to theentire evening. The audience appreciated being able to speak to cast members one on oneand to understand more deeply issues of particular interest.Through a series of 27 scenes, aspects of living with psychiatric diagnoses and ofmainstream reactions to marginalized lives were displayed. Each vignette lasted a fewminutes before each opened up into another. For one social work student and worker, shelikened these scenes to sharp, clear postcards. Even without English fluency, sheunderstood.160I thought the pictures were very, very intense — but they couldn ‘t be thatintense if they were somehow longer — it was just like a just like a slideshow you know — like there ‘s something and there ‘s something — like- likeI felt it was all messages to the audience — you know and that’s how itcame across — but I - I really like them — that they were so short andintense (Audience Interview 8, P. 9).Risky SpeakingOne episode within the show illustrated to the audience the level of risk the cast took tospeak out. This was called The Death ofNormalcy; The Birth ofDifference. Castmembers, through a rite involving flowers and candles, proclaimed what the transitioninto the mental health system meant to them. The shift in their identities showed ways thedeath of taken-for-granted “normalcy” and birth into “difference” has shaped their lives.Ifound the one — with the flowers — where they put a-ah — they died andwhat gave birth — Ifound that very powerful (Audience Interview 1, P. 3).At the end of the cast’s proclamations, a ritual figure turns to the audience to askif anyone wanted to step forward to engage in a similar fashion. Spectators were offeredan opportunity to describe what being labelled “different” meant for themselves or others.No one moved, so the play continued. After the show, audience members were askedabout this episode. The answers were many and for some it was a realization of how riskyspeaking out was for cast members. Those coming from the relative privilege of themainstream did not understand the transgression being experienced for the cast to speakuntil that moment. It seems power of voice is not the same as voice of power.Through Humour Comes SelfThe show sparked people to speak privately with cast members during the celebrationfollowing the performance to say the show normalized their experience of fighting aperceptually uncaring medical system. These spectators were not referring to living with161psychiatric disorder, but with other health related issues as well, such as cancer. Theshow also sparked members in the audience to seek help with counsellors within the castbecause of their own sources of psychiatric impairment. Relating to those having notentered the mental health system for help, Shaken: Not Disturbed dramatically portrayedattributes of clients’ experience in the audience without worrying about the sensibilitiesof the mainstream. Members and staff from Open Door and those feeling themselvesmarginalized for other reasons appreciated the dark humour. The ability to find funnyexperiences from an insider’s perspective gave the cast something new: an authoritythrough story. The tension between laughing and watching serious material at the sametime was difficult for some audience members. Through the spectators’ indecision ofwhether to laugh or not, the substance of the topic was able to take a deeper hold. Tragicand devastating stories were told with an injection of humour or absurd exaggeration.Does one laugh or cry? Or both? This striking awkwardness was something many carriedaway with them following the popular performance.it was it was veryfunny — I laughed a lot — but I was laughing so hard thatI couldn ‘t ah — couldn ‘t stop laughing enough to hear when you wereasking the audience questions- I couldn ‘t stop laughing to give a clearanswer when— cause I - I- I piped up right — well what could we do— Isaid well he can go pick cans and bottles— flaughter] you know that’s ajoke right - cause you don ‘t make any money doing that [laughter] andthen it— I was going to say oh well he could go to Alberta— but I didn ‘tsay that.... the naked truth that was told — urn that was the most strikingpart of itfor me — urn it was —you guys didn ‘t hold back on how you reallyfelt about things— urn — you tried to make it humorous right ah but it wasserious at the same time right- right and - and urn that was what struckme the most — was you ‘re laughing but then in the back of your mindyou ‘re thinking this is very quite serious — as well in a way but it’s justbeing portrayed humorously right - I’m bipolar but I’m not on anymedication because I don ‘t want to be on medication ... well during theshow I was experiencing laughter— humour plus seriousness at the sametime which was kind of a funny feeling — because usually when you arelaughing you are laughing at a joke you are not thinking about anything162serious— and then because it was portrayed humorously and people werelaughing you know and the way actors were acting and — it was humorousand I laughed a lot— at the same in the back of my mind and in theforefront too— I realized that it was a serious subject — right — and ahand.... I thought that woman that was ah engaging the audience — that wasquite a— quite a twist — a neat twist — I think and ah — it made theaudience nervous— that - it made me nervous— and so I thought it madeeverybody else nervous too — urn — that ‘s good — because it brings it likeit brings it right there right (Audience Interview 3, p. 7-8).Within the audience, some read anger coming from the performance. Othersexperienced humour. Exaggeration was read by some spectators as “attacking” groupsand issues. Others saw it as laughing at life. The key to how the spectacle was taken in byan audience member resided with where an observer was socially located. Those notliving as a survivor saw the negative, while fellow survivors saw the humour. This wasthe “ping” of recognition in two groups of people reading life differently. How else inmental health healing, do oppositional relationships manifest?a scene that does stick in my mind is- is ah suicidal sally who ‘s pouringher heart out and ah the doctor is falling asleep - I mean that’s close tohome— I’m sure that happens to lots ofpeople - and on both sides — theone trying to stay awake cause they ‘ye been under a strain and workinghard and it it’s three o ‘clock or four o ‘clock in the morning- and then theone thatfinallyfinds the courage to start talking about how they ‘refeelingand - and what they ‘re - they ‘re planning— to actually tell somebodyabout it — to gather that courage and then have that person not listening —it was heart wrenching and sort offunny at the same time— because theydid it so well— and the other person seemed to fall asleep so quickly(Audience Interview 5, p. 36)Some scenes were simple, sharp and focussed as with Suicidal Sally. The “punchline” being that Sally was telling her plans for committing suicide. Finding the nurse hadfallen asleep throughout the details and having the “patient” help the professional bywaking her was striking. When the nurse asked if everything was okay, Sally said, “Yes,everything isfine now.” The scene ended, leaving what followed hanging. The story wasmetaphorical for how disconnected medical and helping professionals can be in times of163greatest need. The moment was universal in its simplicity because many spectatorsmentioned this as a key memory of the performance.The self-deprecating kind of humour used allowed other marginalized insiders tobreak some of the oppression they experienced. Those feeling outside survivor storiescould not laugh. Presumably this hesitancy was because to laugh at the margins could beconstrued as condescension. Humour targeted mainstream attitudes directly. There wasdifficulty experienced when spectators realized their potential for prejudice towardmental diversity. Discussed next is this interstanding between self and other throughvoice into identity. How does being spoken about reflectively shape others and self?Recognizing the Other in OurselvesWhenever a showing of marginality appears, a fear of what is being portrayed may alsoreside within the self of the onlooker. This is particularly true with regard to disabilitiesand psychiatric disorder. If a person lives long enough, a strong likelihood existspsychiatric impairment is faced. This potential is difficult for many to recognize as apotential within themselves. To take in the “strange” in others reflects back on the self.The other is recognized in our being. Elements of this dynamic were realized through theaudience’s comments and feedback during interviews.you made me think a bit more about the individual — because we getstopped at the outside of the person— um — yeah just to be more aware ofwhat the person is made ofyou know — I like the part where you know hewas dumb or— fyou do not have a place to live and you do not moneythat ‘s all how it all starts — the issue of time — well doesn ‘t he get a job —well he can ‘t because he ‘s sick and you know and it’s like a whole chainreaction— that they have to deal with to be more open and look at theperson first and not the illness — and then my own biased view I guess —and you know like at the beginning — that made me — yeah — and I thinkthat’s part ofbeing open and being caring — they need contact — they needto be with people— they don ‘t need medicationfirst— I mean that’s what Itook out ofthe whole thing (Audience Interview 8, p. 13).164See The Human Beyond The LabelAudience members said they took from the show a need to understand the inside ofunfamiliar others rather than interpreting outside physical markers as identity. Whenpeople “read” one another, they were decoding the effects of living in homelessness,poverty and isolation, not the humanness of struggling to survive. In order to helpanother person, awareness of the other individual from his or her perspective isimperative. Shocking for some spectators was watching the play and talking to the castafter. Psychiatric survivors are just like other people. There is diversity as with allpeople, but the expression of human nature varies widely. Spectators saw (current orpotential) aspects of the cast in themselves.The audience experienced a number of stereotypical images relating to psychiatricdiagnoses come under challenge. In part, thought-provoking stories related to thehumanity of psychiatric disorder and mentally diverse people containing hopes, fears,dreams, desires, values and successes. One audience member was upset watching otherspectators around him because he interpreted responses of people as ignorance. Thisreinforced the importance of theatre work for the cast and clients in the crowd.Reaffirming Belonging In A Rural CommunityThis show, more like absurdist environmental theatre, created an experience bringingtogether and integrating various rural community segments together. Many in theaudience typically do not attend theatre. An exception was this experience becausesomeone they knew was in the performance. Then, coming to the show, spectators sawpeople from diverse backgrounds sitting around them. This perception had somewondering who was a survivor, mental health professional, neighbour, curious165theatregoer and so on. Further, some in the audience were wondering if others in theaudience were imagining, also, who had a mental disorder. What was the motivation forpeople attending the show? Finally, a realization was made by many. Mental “illness”does affect everybody. The experience of the performance demonstrated this was part ofthe diversity making up life.This was an episode of theatre by the people, for the people, with the people andabout the people. Added to this were the elements of rural living injected into theportrayals throughout the show, through some local place names, organizations andpeople in the town. There were many moments when there were no identifiers creating asense of being anywhere.Loved ones in the audience were publicly validated for their efforts through someof the “wish list” the cast posted and distributed in the program (see Table 7) of whatmakes a support person. Deeply felt, by these nurturers, was the sincere public thank yougiven to friends, family and caregivers near the end of the play. Speaking with advocatesafter the play, their response was they, too, are an often-silenced group, particularlywithin the mental health and medical systems. The cast’s coming out to thank theirsupporters illustrated an alliance and a public respect for their value within the broadersystem. The cast experienced validation being returned from the audience. After the showover 350 people came up to the actors to describe the power of the performance. Eachperformer was good. Good. For some in the cast, it had been a long time to hear publiclythey were admired. Power through community affirmation was strong.the cast were — urn were - were important— they were the most importantpeople — and I thinkfor a lot of those folks that they don ‘t often get to bein that situation where they are importantpeople... they got they got urn —applauded — they got appreciated — they got you know people - people that166ah they didn ‘t even know were coming up to them and telling them that itwas good (Audience Interview 5, p. 12)Creating Creative IdentitiesAudience members were amazed at the level of creativity displayed within the show.Spectators were struck by the performance being largely improvised rather than scripted.Halogen work lights were set up in “footlight fashion” on the floor in order to create anabsurdly horrific and nightmarish feeling of shadows dancing along the backstage wallsand ceiling. Symbolism, through prop and costume elements, telegraphed relationshipsquickly. Several movement pieces were included as illustrations of: 1) historicalconstructions of “madness,” 2) being trapped by disability and social handicap, 3) findingone’s self out of step within employment and 4) the celebration of mental pride.The size of the show was something unexpected by spectators. Some among theaudience did not realize psychiatric survivors were able to create something so large andcomplicated with everyone fully participating. These responses came from professionalswithin the mental health industry. Support workers and caregivers often placepreconceived limitations on clients because of neither imagining them having abilitiesnor wanting to help survivors seek their full potential. Concepts of disability assumeneed, rather than ability.Also, the show illustrated those with mental diagnoses were capable of creativeachievement. By extension, these were not “throw away” people, but individuals withsignificant contributions to make. Most importantly, for psychiatric survivors in theaudience, was they realized they contain the potential for what the cast did and mostsignificantly, if given the chance they wanted the same.167I mean how did you — get those folks — I mean — you showed everybodysomething because it was so big so long so large you know I mean - andeverybody was involved ..1 mean you showed all of us what is possible(Audience 18 Interview, p. 19)for me I think that and the beginning were really powerful because thereweren ‘t words and there weren ‘t a lot of details but all those — but allthose — those — the movements and the actions — the symbolism of it all Iwas able to reflect on it all and it really urn hit me — individual — eachindividual having their own particular story — but with similar movements(I think) with people who were performingfor us had similar struggles butthey were also— um had — their particular struggle — particularly thedance — cause — because I relate to dance — and - and having someone outof step — I thought — so I thought that was really powerful — the wholenotion of being out ofstep — but then — there’s everyone — and so that — Ireally got that —that was one message that really sticks with me—conformity — and not conforming and not — have — knowing that — kind ofwanting to conform but also knowing that you don’t have to conf— youdon ‘t have to conform — I know — there ‘s lots of information in that — inthat ah— in that ah — that I thought was powerful (Audience 9, p. 22).Clients in the audience also commented the play portrayed their experience andperceptions where a lot of workers are more interested in their pay cheque than they arein people. Importantly, the portrayals of mentally diverse people were not distorted massmedia myths. Lives shown were human and rich in their complexity.Being Positively CommittedSurvivors in the audience were amazed the cast committed itself for the year andperformed through four shows. They said it was common knowledge attention spans formany psychiatric survivors were quite short, lasting no longer than a month or two on aproject. For other psychiatric survivors coming to witness the show, much in theirexperiences and struggles with bureaucratic systems appeared on stage. The shownormalized their experiences, selves, frustrations, hopes and possibilities. All in a rush,some found they were not alone. One of the cast’s counsellors developed a helpingrelationship with a high school student facing some of the portrayed experiences on her168own. The play helped her “come out” and seek help and support. Through the play, sherealized it was okay to feel the way she did.the message came through to me um but I think that there are a lot ofpeople that think that they’re above— mental illness and I think thesepeople are in denial maybe they ‘re not mentally ill — but they — I thinkeverybody has issues concerning— like everybody has a mental —everybody has a brain and a heart right and the world affects that rightand so you can ‘t — you can ‘t get away from that — it ‘s it ‘.s’ our ah — it’sour human conditionit’s not something that’s over there — it ‘.s’ right in your face type of thing —what would you do to help this person or whatever — I — and putting theonus on everybody else in society instead ofjust the workers or whatever —which is good because we ‘re all here— we ‘re all here together right andurn — we should be helping each other instead of helping ourselves onlyright— (Audience Interview 3, p. 5)Ableist Fear Ableist DenialReactions commonly felt included individuals believing mental “illness” did not affectthem. This form of disability was perceived to affect, “the poor” or “the uneducated” orthose “deserving it” for some reason. There were echoes of morality as being the rootcause of mental impairment. A few spectators said people were in denial if they had nofeeling of being “insane.” Ifwe are all denying the potential or existence ofa psychiatricdiagnosis, then what is “normal “? Is all that is between “sanity” and “madness”someone applying a label? (Interview 23, p. 37)For those with no attachment to mental health issues, the show humanized the castas “just like them.” The fear felt, with regard to mental “illness,” began to be lifted whenthe performance showed the harshness of mainstream indifference and ignorance. Effortswere made to create parallels between depicted stories with others’ life experiences, suchas living with breast cancer, being unemployed or living as gay or lesbian in thecommunity. Insights went beyond “their stories” to “our stories.”169- the play brought back memories ofpeople who were in my healing circlewhen I had breast cancer, some are not here today, and ofso much of the“red tape” we all have to go through- it’s so easy to become a statistic, asI now am - it’s degrading and demoralizing. If an individual is notprepared/able to look after their own destiny it can be disastrous, as in theyoung women who was continually being misdiagnosed... .just aconfirmation that doctors are too busy looking after their own needs....hopefully it will assist people living with mental illness/health issues totake a hard look at what is happening in our health system(Audience interview 2, P. 7)There were times in the play that I could relate to experiences portrayed —being unemployed and unable to get help — feelings of anger andhelplessness — I loved the sense of humour that permeated even thestarkest reality. I guess that is what keeps us going (Emailed Audienceresponse, p. 1.)While the cast focussed on the over-reliance of psychotropic drugs to heal, clientsin the audience pointed out “treatments” had to move beyond simply supplyingmedication. Some spectators felt the cast did not want medication, or less of it. Theperformance illustrated the pervasiveness of a whole medico-pharmacological complexneeding financial “feeding.” Rather than helping relationships being central, stories fromthe show illustrated the common self-interest of doctors and corporations. Pills seemed toreplace the healing therapeutic relationship within the medical realm, particularly forpsychiatric survivors.again the alter ego and the pill pushing scene — that really changed myperception— also the urn scene with the psychiatrist who fell asleep - thatreally changed my perception— maybe not so much ofah someone with amental illness but of the psychiatric profession - because again it’s one ofthose situations — where these people are being paid to listen but theydon ‘t really care or it seems like they don ‘t really care and you have towonder about the sincerity of actually what they ‘re doing — when it’s somuch easier just to write a prescription— and say okay there ‘s your — timeis up — or to fall asleep and not even be paying attention andfrom what Iunderstand that was apersonal story (Audience Interview 15, p. 17)They also connected the over-prescription of drugs to how class is played outwithin mental health:170rich people get counselling;poor people get drugs(Audience Interview 3, p. 2).The audience experienced a number of stereotypical images relating to mentaldisorder coming under challenge. In part, these depictions related to the humanity hiddenby psychiatric disorder. That reinforced how important the theatre work was for the castand clients in the crowd.for me what I saw was how little the audience appeared to know — in termsof the concrete stuff of how people get through— the obstacles - becausethey weren ‘t answering with suggestions that made much sense — and theyou know and they were drawing blanks.. .1 mean that was good because itmade you realize how - how dfJIcult it is for people — so that sort of Ithink that that was — I mean obviously it’s not —people don ‘t always speakout.... but it gave me some idea of- that people don ‘t really know — that thesituations that people do need and what - what the solutions are — it wasyou know... .like I said before I was able to pass that sort ofprimary fearand um look at them as people — that was my biggest aha - to just get ridofthat (Audience 18)This also served to normalize experiences of clients in the audience, particularlywhen they heard the “Mental Pride Cheer.”I had no idea so the whole stereotype that I had in my head as to whatsomebody who ‘s mentally ill is like has totally changed- because they looklike anybody— they could be anybody — and you have no idea — when Ithink of mental illness I think of the Jack Nicholsons you know in OneFlew Over the Cuckoo Nest— and the raving lunatics and I think ofthoseand the psychotics and the- the schizophrenics you see on Law and Orderwho are walking down the streets killing people and those are the ideasthat I have because they look like they ‘re mentally ill— you can see it —with the people who were on stage they look deranged — unclean —unkempt — their hair is long— they are living out ofgarbage cans — theyare the street people— you know it’s- it ‘s more those physical things thatmarkers that one would think and that’s not what I saw at all — so thattotally changed for me— urn also I couldn ‘t believe that this was allimprovised— I didn ‘t— it just was so good that I thought it was scripted —and then what amazed me about being mentally ill was the fact that theywere able to read and memorize lines because they were so good I thoughtthey were professional and I had no idea (Audience Interview 15, p. 4)171Spectators also learned from fellow audience members. During the popularperformance, interactive moments between cast and audience were included. A “joker”figure asked those watching for helpful suggestions during the cycle of (un)employmentscenes. Responses given indicated to others in the audience the level of ignorance heldabout psychiatric disorders. Solutions were not addressing the needs depicted on stage,adding to the portrayed frustration of the actors. This shared experience resonated back tothose observing too. The humanness of the frustration felt by the survivors-as-actorsseeking help from those assuming to know was a “moment of recognition” for many. Thelesson learned was: ask those living the experience. Get to know strangers to lessen thefear of strangeness.Struck By PrideShaken: Not Disturbed also served to normalize experiences of clients in the audience,particularly when they heard the “Mental Pride Cheer.” Most striking for audiencemembers was the constant wanting to know who had a mental diagnosis and who did notamong cast members (and audience). One spectator thought “ringers,” or professionalactors, were brought in to play the leads. Survivors performed all the roles, including themore central roles. This inability to recognize the clues of mental “illness” wasunbalancing for some. The invisibility of mental diversity implicitly throws up thequestions “Am I?”... “How can I tell?” The play and the after-performance celebrationserved to create an opening for cast members, and others living with mental diversity, toexperience pride and increased self-worth, to be more included and integrated as part ofbroader community dialogues. Art spilled out into everyday life.I think two things — I think one — it helps people by allowing them to seethat they’re not alone in those kinds of situations — and the feeling that I172feel inside here — the other thing I think — on the detriment side I think itcould also bring up issues in people who may be suppressing those kindsof things and not dealing with them and having urn you know they hadn’tsucceeded in doing the normal thing which is ignoring and having itbrought to the surface and having to deal with it (Audience Interview 9, p.11)This play reflected the simultaneous pushlpull of mainstream with the socialedges by keeping one another at bay in mutual, dread-filled fascination. Mental healthworkers remarked, “Wow, is that me? Do I do that?” “As I watched I learned more aboutmyselfas a professional” (Audience Interview 8. p. 22)what Ifound most striking about it was sort of some of the anger— youknow that came from you that came from the - the ah story it came fromthe characters themselves — about - about you know anger with - with thesystem — anger with the status quo— anger with how you get treated — thatkind of thing and I and I kind well initially what happens to me withthat stuff— is that I - I start to feel a bit embarrassed or I start to feel a bityou know I know they ‘re not talking about me but - but It’s itjust made mea bit anxious at first until I kind of sort ofprocessed it out a bit — andrealized it — that you know theatre often is- is exaggeration, is over thetop — a bit to make a point you know (Audience Interview 5, p. 8)Some among the audience noticed the judging by mainstream society, the castportrayed, and wanted to be aware of listening and accepting. At the heart of manyrelationships are the emerging interstandings that come from body-mind connections.Most notably, the stereotyping of mental diversity and what “counts” as familiarforecloses expression and living possibilities for those people seen as “different.” Theimposition of a narrow scope of “normal” shuts out the breadth of understanding.Confronting Normally -Normally ConfrontingThe bravery of the show was shocking for some attendees because the non-visibleidentity of this impairment no longer took into account the need to “protect” themainstream from having its senses offended. The cast’s intent was centred on the173margin’s ability to speak, not on the prevention of having the mainstream not feelchallenged. Rare, is the opportunity for those “on the edge of normal” to let go and bethemselves in a public fashion. The status quo has the privilege of doing this every day.This theatre event allowed the cast to speak out in a relatively unrestrained way.how we- we as the wider society urn have - have a blinders and a code ofsilence when it comes to dealing with a public face— of-of mental illnessurn and how it ‘s not only-I mean you know like this — the - the hear no evil,see no evil, and what is it—speak no evil hear no mental illness, see nomental illness, speak no mental illness and urn it really showedfor me thedespair of- of the people who are shuffledfrom one bureaucratic post tothe next in the cycle of- offutility orfrustration or um it’s- it’s very muchurn a kind ofparallel— there ‘s a parallel experience in-in First Nationsworld in dealing with urn a similar bureaucracy in Indian Affairs— and Imean it’s like — there ‘s- there ‘s an hierarchical relationship that sets itselfup for being authoritative and domineering and paternalistic andmeanwhile what’s bestfor them yeah — so it really—that was shown verygraphically for me with the urn where the urn— where the actors weregoingfrom the unemployment or—going to the unemployment- centre andlookingfor work and you know corning up against walls um and urn yeahso it’s - it’s increased my awareness for sure— urn ofjust—or brought ithome a lot closer respect and dignity comes up for me from how thisand power and control again—like we all have it but how many of usacross the spectrum across the human race really have a handle of whowe are and— we know we have choice but not really—and it is so easy tornisuse the power—and that—the best intentions are the best road to hell insome ways (Audience Interview 13, p. 19)The audience reacted to this strong statement of self being expressed. Bydescribing reactions to being treated unfairly and the fluency in what was presented,many among the spectators captured what the cast’s main message was: Equallyimportant, people are all the same. The thought was now why does it matter to societymental diversity be sequestered and maintained within a narrow sense of mentalfunctioning? What is average? Why does it matter everyone subscribes to “normal”?Professionals in the audience said they had no idea clients were capable of doing174something so involved, complicated, creative and risky. How was it possible? How didthe group pull together something so big and well?To see people have the ability....to do things I didn ‘t think they could doWe saw what was possibleThe central issue and big lesson for “normates” (Garland-Thompson, 1996) wasin the end a simple thing:We are all the same.lam IYou are youThe fear becomeslam youYou are me(chant from Shaken: Not Disturbed)Relationship of PowerOnce notions of voice and identity permeated the audience, the power of the performancealso shaped and influenced spectators. The compelling opening and strength of theimagery and stories created a receptivity to change the views of onlookers, or as somecommented, reinforced what they knew or believed about mental disorder. However,many in the audience continued to use the words disorder and illness interchangeably.Within the production, certain aspects were influential: the interactions of the keycharacters and actors, the symbolism used and the reliance on dark humour.175Power In Political SatireThat awkward awfulfeelingofserious materialthat isfunnyI wanted to laughbutfeltuncomfortableFollowing the discussion in Chapter 2 with regard to absurdism, a key “weapon” in thisgenre is the use of hyperbole and distorting contradictions to create dissonance within thespectator relating to a particular issue. This was mentioned earlier when speaking of“voice,” but the power of speaking simply informed shifts among audience members.A key political scene portraying the current premier of the province, GordonCampbell, as selling the common wealth off under the guise of a used car salesman wasincluded. The character piled up money from selling off various infrastructure pieces(highways, schools, railway companies and so on). At the same time there were those inthe province continuing to do without, notably disabled people. Watching and hearing allthe pieces of the province being sold off was informative for those having not put all thesmaller issues into one picture. News media agencies had not pulled together theincremental sell-off into a sense of whole. Placing the profit taking against the need ofmany highlighted how easy it is to forget groups because they are not noticed.the BC Premier— urn scene where you were tossing out all the things thathe ‘s put up in BCfor sale and the things that are sale in the province andI really had no idea that all of those things were being sold off— and untilI saw all those cards andpieces ofpaper being thrown I really didn ‘t haveany idea— you don ‘t really pay attention per se — you hear about BCHydro ‘s gone or BC Gas is gone or but un — until I actually saw the visualI didn ‘tput it all together— so that stood out ... another one ofthe acts thatstood out was the— alter egos scene — [laughing]— talking about urn howeasy it was to push pills and - and when the ah I don ‘t know which actressit was — had come in— Amelia maybe — who had come in to see — it wasTallulah and with you kneeling in the background saying okay let’s make176it like eighteen and next time bring in the family and bring in your brotherand your sister and your mother and your father and again you don ‘treally realize how easy it is to push pills on to somebody as a quickfixforsomething — so I thought that was really cool — that stood out — the um —unemployment line only because I’ve been there — I know how frustratingit can be for someone who isn ‘t mentally challenged and to have to dealwith the bureaucracy knowing that they really don ‘t want to devote thetime to you — because they don ‘t think that you ‘re able to really handle it —they just want to get you in and out of there without really as — answeringany of the questions and I thought that was quite good and . ..I thoughtthat Buster did a good job of ah portraying not knowing anything aboutthe system and - and having to deal with that — that was good . . . (AudienceInterview 15, p. 11-12)Power in relationships involving psychiatric survivors, through the “pill-pushingscene,” and the “cycle of unemployment” created awareness. Questions were provokedincluding, “What role do Iplay?” “Is it that bad?” “What can I do” among spectators.Power In Silence— Bodies SpeakingThe power of not speaking, but of relying on movement to tell stories struck many amongthe onlookers. In particular, there was a robotic dance describing the challenge of tryingto fit into the lock step of society faced by many living with psychiatric diagnoses. Oftenthe result is being pushed out by society and considered “useless.”I just thought of another interpretation of that that I never thought ofbefore— the people who were coming in were the government workers —like the psychiatrists, etc. — who made the big — large sums ofmoney andwhen those prices were given that their grocery bill was or they werehaving a party catered for two hundred people or whatever and it wasgoing to cost this— there— there was no hesitation in just giving themoney that it was costing howeverfor someone who has to live on Ichibannoodles for a month these are things that you wouldn ‘t even consider — Imean you have to try and make the dollar stretch and I never thought of itin that respect— but yeahfor those who have the money it’s like price is noobject - both groups — live off the taxpayer - but the only group that weever negative stuff about are those people making five hundred dollars amonth — not those people makingfive thousand dollars a month (Interviewl4,p. 14).177This scene was a powerful indictment of the status quo. Related to this notion wasthe moment of recognition when it was questioned as to the segment of the populationbeing the “drain on society”? Were disabledpeople seekingfinancial support to surviveor the many professionals ofthe mental health industry demanding large salariesfromthe government more dependent?Power Through Play... In Play... .As Play....Also, the playfulness and arbitrariness of diagnoses and prescriptions in the DiagnosisDance created a range of reactions from spectators receiving a “label of illness.” Somewere angered. Others, notably clients in the crowd, laughed in recognition of the years ofshifting diagnoses they faced while trying to find answers.... and are still searching. Alabel brought an identity into being, even if it was the name of an “illness.”The final movement piece in the show was one depicting being trapped. Manysurvivors shared similar experiences of society’s “cold indifference” with me after theshow. This alienation leading to suicide was striking for some witnessing the expressionof the slow motion “frantic” movements accompanied by the music of Under Ice.ft changed me because of the experiential nature of it — more powerfulthan talking to people or reading books (Audience Interview 10, p. 14)Imagery and story were powerful influences with regard to perceptions of mentaldisorder. Some in the crowd wondered whether they participated in the labelling ofdifference because of the power and ability to label they possessed. The scenehighlighting this was the “tour group” scene of putting various psychiatric clients on“display” for medical professionals, played by the audience. The tour guide discoveredthe wrong group was present. Instead, the tour was supposed to be for human resourcespeople. Flipping over the display signs for each mental “illness” was a corporate178behaviour label, i.e., a obsessive-compulsive person turned into someone with detail-orientation, an addictive personality was converted to a “party animal,” a schizophrenicperson was someone “thinking out loud” and so on. Through a shift in context, meaningsbehind behaviour were amended. As the cast did this change, people recognizedindividuals in their lives and wondered about the slippage of labels.one of the other pieces I really— that I just remembered — that I reallyliked and it was the um — when everyone was standing around in a kind ofa semi-circle with little signs on and being dfferent — people like the joband the office work and all that kind of stuff and talking about theirdfferent attributes and then flipping them over and having them all with amental illness— associated with that — like a compulsive is the accountantand all that kind ofstuff— I thought that was an incredibly witty um sort ofturn-around on um society because it it’s you know (Audience 9, P. 11).What I saw in the group was a high level of ‘self-actualization’. They alsomodelled empowermentfor other people with mental issues. I wouldsuspect that they challenged the community as well, to rethinkpersonalbiases and community biases. Politically there was a challengefor all ofus to be accountable for our votes and voice. I think these are all benefits.(Emailed Audience Responses, p. 2)Following the show, some in the crowd wondered why the cast had to even raisethe issues they did and so publicly. Was the cast not aware of the potential resistance?Some cast were told it was better and easier to remain silent. Even though the power toinfluence was present, the insistence by the status quo for them to be quiet remained. Theview that the cast should not perform also came from other psychiatric survivors beforethe show was staged. There was some pressure from other mental health clients forcertain members not to perform. Fear of having the “mental closet” recognized was athreat to some because of the unknownness of the consequences. There was hope amongsome psychiatric staff for clients to find the “mental closet” door again and re-enter it.179Where There Is Power: ResistanceThere were reports of local psychiatric professionals being unhappy with the show,largely because of the depiction of the profession as drug peddlers and “drains onsociety.” The anger from this group was, in likelihood, stronger because of the smalltown and the magnified reaction stemming from the town’s intimate social connections.It did not help that these doctors decided to sit in the front row. Interestingly, local familydoctors agreed with the portrayal of psychiatrists. When this reaction was discussedamong spectators, reactions included “the medical authorities have taken the workseriously.” If the work were non-confrontational or “cute,” then an indifferent responsewould result. The show moved mental health professionals.they probably didn ‘t like the Fairy Drug Mother— that was— I loved her[laughing]— she was great— I loved her because you know drugs are whatthey push at you — it’s a — it ‘s a reality— and they aren ‘t always helpfuland they bring their own problems but you know at one point when theperson was interacting and asking about drugs and I said — I called out —Well, they ‘re addictive— and you know what the person behind mecontradicted me and said— no they’re not..., because of the issue ofextended leave— Iserve on review panels andpeople can get protectedforthe rest oftheir damned life by having their extended leave certtfication goon and on and on— out in the community where they are forced and can ‘tcomply with these restrictions and they ‘ye lost their rights— and at somepoint— I’m challenged with that on the review panel— my point is that atsome point you allow people to take risks again— and to make their owndecisions— but there ‘.s’ a very protective, paternalistic system too that saysthat these people were screw-ups and there will be a revolving door so wewill keep them under control— even though they have been doing wellforthe lastfive years— but they ‘re doing well because we ‘re protecting them— so they can continue to take their rights— but it ‘s entrenched — it’sbrought to another level— to the system level too (Audience Interview 10,p.2).One of the reasons cited in an interview with a psychiatrist was the showundennined any efforts to attract new clients. The show informed potential patients andclients of what to expect. The cast placed labels on people not normally targeted. Naming180is powerful and is typically used against those who cannot resist. Categorization becomesfixed as “natural” by authorities in society.I don ‘t recall after I think you mentioned that there were quite a fewpeople — like professionals in Duncan— they were quite upset about thisplay and - and like I don ‘t know why — they were feeling guilty or youknow - but you know what — jfyou don ‘t do it — fyou are doctor whodoesn ‘t do it — it shouldn ‘t make you mad (Audience Interview 8, p. 9)Emotional StrengthThe source of power this popular theatre production contained was the variety andshifting poignant elements. Audience members described the show as an emotional rollercoaster involving laughter, sadness, anger, frustration and shock.I have a lot of experience working in the mental health area — and alsohaving my own experiences with my own mental health — I think you hit ona lot of real issues for people— you seem to capture them all — a lot ofissues around unemployment, aroundpersonal loss ofyour-your normality—around drugs being the instant fix for everything and just a lot of thestruggles that people face came out and came out in a way that was quitemoving — in fact you brought me to tears the part about the death ofnormalcy — really hit me hard—in fact I tear up thinking about it — becauseI think whenever you have to come to terms that you have got some kind ofa disability— ongoing issue—chronic thing — you know you ‘re never goingto be quite the same — and you lose something and it was quite moving tome to hear what people had lost and it made me start thinking about whatyou know — just you know what is the real impact on my flfe you know itmeans I have limitations—of what - what I can handle and that broughtthat back home to me—by everybody else talking about how it affected theirlives—and for some it’s really, really severe loss — and for others — it’sminor—well like for me I still manage to have a job and do all kinds ofthings but I still know in my heart that I’ve lost some of that strength ofwhat I.... what a what a wonderfulpiece ofwork that was and I know someof those individuals outside of that and I saw how-how— well I saw justhow much they were relishing that experience — how proud they were—Icould see it in their eyes then—it was great (Audience Interview 11, p. 8)The constant movement in tone and intensity of feeling kept the audience engagedand listening to the group’s message. Emotion became powerful in the project ofcommunity learning.181my boyfriend said he cried with just the—he cried and then he laughedand then there was serious and then he said he cried again—and helaughed and he — he was telling me out ofthe blue—we were in Victoria ona bus and he just turned to me and said—out of the blue—and he goes—Tallulah that was amazing— that was such a goodplay — and then he goes— I don ‘tjust mean you — I mean like everybody in the play — he said it wasabsolutely amazing—it was very good — and my boyfriend is not one tocompliment — and — and it’s — he ‘s not he ‘s not oh you ‘ye got nice hair,nice clothes whatever—he doesn ‘t do that — you know and I was like (snort)holy— so it was really, really intensified by that — I was blown away — hesaid ‘I was blown away Tallulah. ‘And he called his mom and he told hismom all about it and everything so I was really—i think I told you [Sidney]that—I was meaning to tell everyone cause I thought that was justastounding when he said that... (Tallulah, Interview 6, P. 42).The last aspect of power within the relationship between the performativeinquiry’s spectators and authors was the opportunity for audience members living assurvivors to join in future work. Several clients, among the spectators, approached thecast after the show to ask if more theatre was happening because they wanted to join.They had things they wanted to say. The cast was a role model within the community forother mentally diverse individuals.Shaken: Not Disturbed had given awareness to the politics of mental health anddifferent ways to present material. The performance did not stick with one style butincorporated dance/movement, metaphor, poetry, stories and vignettes, tableaux, darkhumour and political satire. Another theatre troupe living with psychiatric diagnoses,from the northern part of Vancouver Island, came to watch our efforts. Their struggleinvolved constructing and working with script because, in their view, theatre equalledscript. This notion is widely held locally and was part of the initial hurdle in this work.Watching the show, the north Vancouver Island group discovered the limitations it placedon itself during creation of performative stories. This other ensemble discovered theycould take the experience of our show to present their own message, without the use of182prescribed text. An episode of knowledge creation opened for new awareness beyond theinitial cast.The audience was really energized by the show. The empowerment theroom felt—the cast will remember the power of the experience—the abilityto move people is something not easilyforgotten.The ending of the play highlighted what the cast wanted to share about caregiving and opportunities to give their lives deep meaning and enhanced value. Some ofthese were noticed and picked up by audience members, days and weeks after the show.You made me think a lot more about theindividual.Often I get stopped at the outside oftheindividual’sappearance orthe illness.How little these people are given and then we say —now live with dignity...Showed the despair ofthe people victimizedby bureaucracyPowerful womenin the castwho were so committed —strong presence —look at the personfirst....the labels just disappeared (Noble notes, p. 238)Spectators watched cast members individually and relayed their observations totheir own lives. The key was for the townspeople to see people beyond difference andphysicality, to inside the distinctiveness of individuals.Some people from a local college discovered theatre was a powerftil rehabilitativetool. They wondered why the medical model was still so entrenched within mental healthcircles. The efficacy of working theatrically and exploring performatively with a grouprarely given the opportunity was powerful for counsellors, social workers and educators.183The medical modelneeds to be moved awayto something moreinter-relational,socially and culturally andhumanly connected.SummaryTheir [Sidney and his group] passionate play is so insightful about mentalhealth issues and myths, it deserves annual staging. Shaken is a Fringegem that goes straight to the heart and mind. Fringe satiric drama rating:9 pills out of10. (Review of Fringe Festival run, September 21, 2003)Every time the production was mounted, the reactions were similar: supportive,appreciative and wanting more. Through the many scenes of short lessons, insights andstories, audiences took in some difficult material and have laughed alongside us. Thischapter highlighted some of the lessons taken away from the theatre experience and someof the likes and dislikes of using popular theatre to inform community. The openingmoments of the play were described as a way to lead into the three emerging areas to beexplored with regard to audience reactions: voice, identity and power. Much of what thegroup wanted to convey audience members have picked up; regardless of ability we, ashumans, are all the same. Some thought the play was funny; others felt the productionwas angry.. .the strength of black or existential humour is the creation of dissonance anddiscomfort. Attitudes and perceptions were challenged. The purposes of this study weremet: disrupting “normal” ways of thinking about psychiatric diversity by challengingprevailing notions of mental “illness” and creating better relationships betweenpsychiatrically diagnosed and other people.Sidney: when you have a lot of things going on with a lot ofpeople — youdo have to organize so that the people don ‘t run into each otherFemale Audience Member: yeah yes but sometimes when people run intoeach other wonderful things happen (Audience Interview 22, p. 35)184CHAPTER SEVENMY INTERSTANDINGSAND MOMENTS OF RECOGNITIONIntroductionThe poultry barn was cleaned up. Audience donations of food, clothing and sportsequipment (price of admission) were given to Open Door. The cast continued to revel inits well-deserved success. Costume, prop and set loans were returned and the work-lights-as-stage-lights were safely stored away until next time. Spectator and final castinterviews were transcribed and analyzed. What remained were reflections from thisexperience. Did this research disrupt “normal” ways of thinking about psychiatricdiversity by challenging prevailing notions of mental “illness” and did it create betterrelationships between psychiatrically diagnosed and other people? What were myinterstandings of relating from a space of in-betweenness? What shifts occur within agroup ofrural adults living with mental disorder(s) as it developed andpresented anabsurdistpopular theatre community production?The focus of this chapter discusses my role as popular theatre worker and culturalresearcher. What was my growth in awareness through this process? From the beginning,the group existed within change. This was an aspect of identity I had awareness. Whendisclosures were made about limited energy levels, longer time required for mentalprocessing, reduced ability to memorize, my “home” place of “teacher” changed. The“place” of the group was where I became a part. In hindsight, this was a good thing. Asthe cast moved into spaces of discomfort, risk and unfamiliarity, it was fitting I waspulled in similarly unexpected ways as well.how can you possibly take a group like that — especially one whose — likein the ad who are — who are — people who are agoraphobic...like areparanoid.... so you are taking people that are you know paranoid185people... that are non-trusting...you take a group of non-trusters... andhaving them trust you and then give fully and then talk about things thatthey wouldn ‘t even tell their best friends — or their parents — you know —so you ‘re obviously giving something out there — otherwise — especially agroup like that would not give back like that — which to be able to do thatis just — you [Sidney] have a definite- like a definite talent.... (Tallulah,Interview 6, p. 43).Just as with the cast and audience in the previous two chapters, the focus heresurrounds identity, voice and power. In this instance the focus is on my role as a culturalpractitioner. The insights I share may help others contemplating similar experiences:sources of satisfaction and caution.Acts of Silence: Stillness As VoiceWithin this experience, our sharing and listening to one another’s voice and body allowedeach in a group to speak more loudly. As cast members understood, reinforced by theirability to speak, being a lone voice was, at times, lonely. Ability to speak born out of acollective created a stronger group articulation, thereby making the message morefocused and expressive. The experimentation and tentativeness of speaking freely andimaginatively was encouraged and supported by one another. Discussions involved ideasand futures. For many within the group, they were isolated individuals often facingsilencing effects of authorities presuming to know rather than asking or communicating.In the project, each person found space to say, “No, I disagree, I think the group shoulddo this.” Story directions often took many different turns until the final performance wasrealized. The co-searchers quickly embraced elements of risk and playing, thoughembedded counsellors were less willing to freely speak of themselves. They were moreconcerned about goals and of hearing survivors’ stories in a space welcoming ofeveryone’s tales. With regard to not hearing non-clients’ voices, the fullness of the group186was never completely realized. Part of this self-silencing may have something to do witha “professional” stance fostered within counselling. Demanding “objectivity” bemaintained, through listening and keeping control over process, to achieve a goal canhave the opposite effect: oppression. Within performative inquiry, many shiftingrelationships allowed for a type of “subjective-objectivity” to emerge. Focus was bornethrough the participants. Members normalized diversity so the notion of “mental pride”emerged and was portrayed as if to say, “Look everyone, this is me. I am human. I amproud.” I felt my own “gay pride” being carried along in those moments. Through socialdifference, members learned about diverse experiences and a deeper meaning to behuman, to exist with a little less oppression, silencing and stigma.Respectfully ChallengingBecause of high levels of ambiguity and chaos, an aspect of performative inquiry existed.Voices carried messages of trust and respect. Even during odd moments of verbal“violence,” through unintentional put-downs, reactions were couched in tones ofunderstanding and respect. When boundaries were breached, rather than attack, thereaction was one of informing and sharing in the experience. The person facing thechallenge expressed how it felt to be transgressed by one of the group. Throughresponding to relatively minor exchanges of silencing, individuals spoke out and inperformative moments found a level of power. The same, it turned out, occurred to me, inparticular, during my conversation with a local psychiatrist. He “requested” aspects of theperformance be changed because the particularities of his history were not reflected in the187broader canvas of psychiatry’s evolution relayed during the performance. His was anunrelenting focus of getting rid of or radically revising the importance of past psychiatricevents.My preference is to perform ideas in the familiar safety of theatre, rather than tostand alone and speak from sexual margins. The struggles co-searchers experienced, asthey gathered the courage to speak, resonated. When Tallulah spoke of meeting herselfon stage and liking the experience, her retelling echoed within me. My own comfort withperforming and escaping through theatrical explorations of self in imaginative andperformative processes is my grounding place.Having a location as an educator shifted from hiding behind the developmentalteaching frame from which I have grown accustomed. Less is revealed of the educatorthan in the mode of performing as part of a group. In this project, the deeply human andintimate contact demanded relying on the full embodiment of my self. An intense ethic ofnurturing for and caring about the whole person permeated the group’s sense of collectivecaring. From watching and interacting with and in the cast, (re)gaining one’s voice is anearly stage toward developing relationships of power and identity. To speak is to benoticed and creates opportunities for others to interpret others’ identities and character.Acts of interpretation are performances of knowledge. And as Foucault (1980) espouses,knowledge is power. However the starting point of knowledge is in the creation ofrelationships as in the: voice— identity —power triad.How one finds voice is often unintentional. Through the randomness of chaos, isthe serendipity of experience. Acts of experimenting and creating, or the creating-doingbeing-playing embraced by performative inquiry, slowly emerge into the power to speak.188Games and acts of playing had structures, constructed through rules or steps, mixed withrandomness. These contributed to the “container” of our weekly rehearsals. Both,however, provide space for random chaos resulting in creating and having fun. Bodies inawareness. A striking experiment the group experienced was the accidental, curiosity-filled and fortuitous playing with their embodied voices.It was important to be heard vocally, but it was critical to be heard throughembodied relationships. Much of the performance was not comprised of solos, but it wasthe result of many collective interactions. Many discussions and physical interchanges,where many single voices were present, created a more powerful communication than ifeach person spoke alone. When the audience was involved with performance, throughlighting of candles and responding to the Joker figure, their actions added to the overallpower of the piece presented by the group.Borders and Internal Transgressions of IdentityBefore embarking on this journey, a need to understand the town and community fromwhere the cast members were drawn was needed. Working and living within Duncan forover a year before approaching the people was time well spent. This period was needed todevelop more of an identity as insider rather than as a sojourning stranger parachuting into investigate. The many nuances and sources of contact relied on and my localfamiliarity were less problematic as elements of our work shifted. The need to be knownwithin the context was something remembered from my own growing up in a small ruralfarming community. Outsiders were often viewed with suspicion. Assistance from189community members, with regard to production elements, would have been moredifficult or at least hesitant in providing things because of my location as an outsiderinside.BeginningsMy background within popular theatre was exclusively as an actor, so venturing intodirecting and running a project opened my eyes to strengths not considered whenworking as a cultural facilitator. Foremost, the creation of an inner strength allowinginternalized turmoil and worry to churn, while my external persona remained calm andconstantly reassuring, was, at times, personally challenging. During a few of the earlymeetings, when one or two people showed up, words rang in my ears with regard to beingable to retain enough participants. The first time two people showed up my heart fell indisappointment. My feeling was the end of the project was near; I would have to return tothe academic fold for further instructions. But this was adult education; this was populartheatre. The tides and turns in life happen and are felt more intensely within socialmargins. I had to be faithful. The fledgling group needed to see my commitmentregardless of what occurred.Then, people continued to come and many returned... .through to the end of theproject. Two weeks prior to our show most of the cast did now show up for a completerun through. The rehearsal before the performance the key actors did not show up; muchof their energies were spent from the dress rehearsal two days before. A family member’sdeath in the family of another actor occurred. She informed the group and then joined herfamily to mourn. Life happens and can detour a group in unknown ways; the ebb ofenergies as with bipolar cycles cannot be fully predicted, but had to be incorporated as190best as the group could.. . and keep going. Never stop. To stand still createsblockage.. .wind the group forward. Encourage the cast to lead, have trust, show faith,play and have fun. Out of action comes new direction and exciting possibilities.The Aloneness Of The ProcessAt times, the feeling was one of you are on your own here... to worry about ‘what if?”The loneliness, or rather the aloneness, of the work as the facilitator/organizer of populartheatre is something that has received little consideration. As an actor in prior projects,engagement and socializing with other performers and the “director” was typical. In thoseexperiences existed a definite “boundary” between actors and guide. After each rehearsalwith the group, the performers left quickly.. .usually leaving me to clean up and bring thegym back to order. It was during those moments a realization occurred: it was me whoinitiated and guided the group. The separateness was felt. After every rehearsal, was timeto reflect and ponder what had happened each evening..., as equipment was movedaround and packed up. On particularly difficult evenings when something had happenedto challenge or an exercise had fallen flat... laying in the middle of the cavernous gym,looking at the gym’s ceiling and staring in the empty volume of the space gave greatsolace. In these periods, the realization how small my sense of self was, when takenwithin the context of the largeness of the group, was profound. Separateness existedbetween me and the cast. I knew there was going to be some level of being apart, but Iwas not ready for how that felt. This “distancing” was, periodically, breached during theperformative inquiry and performance. Spreading out power and control was achievedacross co-searchers, but the border between cast and me could never be filly erased.191“Lightening Rod”Much of the time I was in the group little moments members noticed established me as a“lightening rod.” I had no idea about this dynamic until after the fact. Like an actor on astage, initially I felt I had to be “on” every week, send the right signals, do appropriatethings, while also admitting when I made mistakes. When starting out, the pressure canbe high. Eventually, I, too, dropped the pretension of performing a role within the group.The location of myself in the group precluded me from divorcing the role from “lightningrod” effect.The group became identified by the facilitator, both, internally by the group aswell as the various publics external to it. The repetitive act of asking me or focusingsuggestions in my direction within the group, continually reconstructed me as the centre.An “authority role” is not a position with which I have been comfortable. An audiencemember pointed out a “difference” existed “between them and me,” even when the groupperformed as a unit. Moments occurred when the cast waited for my cue; other timeswhen they knew what to do and worked among themselves. My reading of a history-based monologue in the show held echoes of teacher directing a class-as-audience. Myrole as a doctor opened the performance. I was uncomfortably aware: These are powerpositions. These were parts others did not want. What was their nervousness? What wasleft unsaid? Unexplored? My parts also included a minimum waged worker in a grocerystore, an alter ego to a doctor, a father, an unemployed person begging for work and afaceless bureaucrat. We play a variety of roles, some with power; many without. Throughplaying both sides of the privilege equation, a beginning for my own increasedawareness, with regard to oppression from a disability perspective, emerged.192When compliments and critique about the group came from the community, thetarget was inevitably me. Words of support from the town were spoken as encouragementsuch as when the cast was interviewed by the press. The brightness of their energy astheir words were being taken down and published was something to behold (Appendix I).Others’ negativity I took on. Why did I take on others’ criticisms about the cast? Itseemed to have been my habit as nurturer, caretaker, guide; an act of paternalism,perhaps. I felt ... feel I had to continue to take on this role because of the newness of theprocess to the group and for many of the co-searchers. The play process was anunfamiliar experience for having their opinion taken seriously. Critique was shared, butwas softened or framed in less damaging ways. Members discussed what the feedbackmeant to them, individually, and as a group. Was a need evident to protect? Did the groupneed this “protection” or was I exerting my own ableist sensibility?The Nature OfChangeThe experience did illustrate what it meant to teach with a profound love, appreciationand respect with and for learners. None of the achievement was the sole creation of oneperson. In each co-searcher’s way, abilities and talents constructed something no one inthe group could ever have hoped to achieve individually or with another cast. Groupmembers increased awareness so each was a relationship component allowing forprocesses of knowledge. Because of interstanding, social change efforts cannot beseparated from a facilitator. For social action to result, all participants or witnesses haveto be affected in some way by the process. If no change exists in the individual acting ascatalyst, as well as by those experiencing evolution, then can what occurs be called socialchange? No. The guise is one of domestication under a different name.193Because of diverse personalities and the suddenness of changes occurring in lives,when working with “mental” adults, this project highlighted the need to be flexible withregard to what occurs in any particular meeting and how the performance and whatfollowed unfolded: flexibility was a constant. When 12 to 15 people are asking or talkingin their excitement, a desire to give each person complete attention is challenging. Also, amistake was made at the first rehearsal when a planned lesson was brought. I quicklydiscovered predetermined structures were a hindrance to the required freedom forimaginations to be released and explored. The irony was certain non-clients within thegroup were clamouring for this predetermination; not realizing the impediment elaboratestructures can create. Rather than become “the” authority based on lesson planning, theprocess evolved into where groupings of games and exercises were brought each weekand a choice was made depending on the mood and energy for the group. Often thisrequired a constant shifting of focus or approach as energies and attentions ebbed andflowed through our time together. My own flexibility, co-created with others, fosteredmore open and playful relationships.Jack OfAll Roles, Master OfNoneBecause of relying on counsellors within the relationships, as demanded by the academy,therapeutic aspects crept in to mingle with the process of interstanding. Insights becameemergent “moments of recognition” rather than the focus of a “lesson.” Acts ofawareness were fostered through interactions. Trust and respect were central. Beyond theproject, friendships have continued with many in the group, regardless of whetherindividuals continued new explorations with me or not.194Within the cast, many were looking toward me as a role model and guide withinthe unfamiliarity of this popular education work. Their gaze was continually examiningaspects I had not given much thought to. For example, while I was worrying when asmall number of cast members arrived for a rehearsal, but continuing anyway, others inthe group saw this and decided the project was important because my commitmentremained regardless of the number attending. For others, it was appreciation for mylooking straight at each member as he or she “checked in” each week with no discerniblejudgement. My focus was on wanting to interstand and empathize with what it meant togo through a medication adjustment, or to run out of psychotropic drugs, deal withmultiple and conflicting diagnoses, experience of deep depression, or to interstandmainstreamed people’s relationship with mental diversity. In order to understandanother’s perspective, a requirement to not censor or judge is critical. One’s analysis ofanother forecloses awareness and blocks openings to experience.Through experiencing the evolution of the work by cast members and receivingpersonal feedback from audience, the overwhelming reaction was positive. By reflectingback to the beginning, I remember when cast members were nervous and unsure. When Iwitnessed their growth, as reflected by their “risky” public popular performances andreconnecting to their abilities, confidence and deeper senses of self, the change washumbling. A vicarious sense of satisfaction and accomplishment came from this work. Ascast members have stated, power exists in finishing something and in deep ways a senseof autonomy is renewed. This was the common bond emerging from within the group.195Seeking LegitimacyThe last aspect relating to identity was strength when working across social difference. Asense of legitimacy for my marginal location occurred alongside the validation of the castmembers’ own. A resonance occurred between the group’s aspects of psychiatric disorderand my sources of difference. As the cast divulged aspects of living as a survivor, andothers’ reactions to this diversity, an echo was felt within me. Cast members discussedmany social and cultural constructions that affect negatively affected their identities andsenses of self. Knowing group members shared similar sources of stigma and oppressionallowed for bridges of understanding to be traversed. I had a sense of what it felt like tobe repressed because of constructed difference. Through this mutual understanding, arosea collective power to imagine possibilities.Constructing Power During TransgressionDid I always get it right? Of course not. From the beginning, there were moments when Ierred. I arrived with a wonderfully crafted “lesson plan.” Quickly that was dispensed inorder to allow for the openness of the process to be realized. Early on, I thought withsome “minor” inconveniences (day and room changes) the group could work in a spaceof my choosing. That also was not meant to be and was a good thing in hindsight. I hadmy own culturally learned biases with regard to “the mentally ill” to overcome. As I writethis, I still hear that term from others around me. Thankfully, through this experience, Ihave, presumably, achieved a greater sensitivity and awareness with regard to theignorance experienced by psychiatric survivors through the power of others. That alone,is a major shift. I reflect back and wonder, What fI had stayed with my original biases?196How much interstanding would have remained lost and unknown? More broadly, Whatother social awareness am I missing because ofmy own culturally blindfolding?I did not expect the resistance and need for control from the counsellors and theirdemands for knowing results before they occurred. Travelling was the goal. Did I handlethat the best way? For some yes, for one definitely not.Luck also played a role. When the group moved our gathering place to the edge oftown, transportation became critical for gathering people up and dispersing them aftereach session. Buster and Jean were significant with driving people around. Lack oftransportation was central, but the Open Door program helped us out by providing aminivan each week.What helped to minimize negative influence was providing space and time. Thereis no way of doing this work and anticipating every contingency or change incircumstance. The process is built on ambiguity. What matters is that the culturalresearcher:A) recognizes that adjustments are inevitable and welcome.B) is at home in liminality, rather than fixed in one location or another.C) to be effective, has to take in and adapt to reshape process: flow and driftare a tension that is carried within this central role.D) can be a follower of the group (and at times quite often), rather than itssole “leader or teacher”— this is a dialogical learning process for allinvolved.The presence of power within many group relationships has to be constantlyconsidered. At times, it may seem easier “to do it”for the group rather then with it. Theseinstances present themselves within a group that has as its central history “normalcy”provided for them, and in turn, domesticates and colonizes their experiences into silence.197Being a listener implies a greater sense of following and not being in control. Havingfaith that the experience will turn out the way it is meant to be, rather than what it shouldbe was an early lesson I took from the cast of Shaken. What I learned did rattle me, butdidn’t disturb. Rather it helped reduce the pressure of being “the expert” or of always“being on.” Instead, erring and failing were deep moments of interstanding that rippledthrough the group and beyond it. Each co-searcher witnessed for the others our mutualand individual unfolding.Popular Theatre As Oppression?An early danger appeared when beginning to work with this group; something that occursfrequently in this type of work. The act of “facilitating” popular theatre can be a form ofoppression. When working with people having experienced, or are currently living withinrepression exercised by powerful authorities, as within Goffman’s (1959) Asylum, aculture of indoctrination is the norm. Hints of this existed when cast demands, early on,asked me repeatedly what I was looking for or what my vision was. For counsellors andclients, alike, remained a need for things to be known before group members explored. Ifthe group were told of some predetermined goal (and if this had been known!) anyresulting work and explorations would not be theirs, but mine. The show, otherwise,would be my reflection and the cast would continue to be silenced and oppressed.Interestingly, client members within the cast grew confident in exploring and welcomedwhat they uncovered, offering this up to the rest of the cast for consideration andinclusion.Over the years, I have avoided being directive in my teaching (except in the rareinstance of crisis), preferring to collaborate and work within relationships with students.198Power remains more diffuse than in traditional didactic settings. Responsibility andrespect becomes shared. This was the same within the experience and popular theatreproject following Shaken: Not Disturbed... with a twist!. Greater degrees of power inshared decision-making occurred. Holding the process too closely meant losingeverything in the grasping.Internal Power StrugglesA constant, yet subtle tug-of-war, played out in the background between order andpredictability among some counsellors. As the move toward more open, risky andrandom pathways evolved, the pull was stronger. One of the counsellors (who had a moreformulaic or “recipe” approach for creating popular theatre) had commented about thehigh degree of flexibility needed to work with a group new to theatre. To prescribedirection in isolation of where the members were interested in travelling, createdresistance and potentially shut down the process. Others felt a need for an up-front,purposeful, predictable order as to how the group moved through the overall process andindividual sessions.Comfort, in the freedom of working within the rehearsal ritual being negotiated,continued. Some others, in the cast, remained frustrated throughout because of the lack offamiliarity with the process. I do not feel they were entirely satisfied with my position of“not knowing.” The process of knowledge was not mine alone. Because of thisambiguity, the counsellors were not automatically placed in a presumed position ofpower. This placed the counsellors in a location they perceived to be similar to thepsychiatric survivors. Perhaps this was too unfamiliar.., and therefore risky. Theplacement of power known in professional practices versus the more egalitarian ability to199influence one another was a struggle for some. I found the social worker from the OpenDoor program and who had some background in Freire and popular theatre was mostcomfortable and trusting of the process. Something for me to consider in future projectswas the inclusion of support workers familiar with popular educationltheatre processesrather than those with a background and framework of traditional counselling methods. Ifeel my place is not as a gatekeeper of outcomes or overseer of process. As stated before,my role is to create a container and rough structure where a group explores, plays andcreates its own pathways through learning and awareness generation leading to theperformance and what follows.Control Versus PowerHaving just described sharing power, many of the administrative details were left for meto figure out. Early on, feedback was provided showing some of the project’s dynamicsneeded to change to meet the needs of the clients: these were left for me to resolve. WhatI discovered was having control over the mundane administration of the project going,was not the same as having power within the group. The cast understood why I wasexploring their lives and creating theatre; my goal was this dissertation. But as timepassed, they often did disagree among themselves, them with me and vice versa.Authority among group members seemed to move fairly freely throughout therelationships being formed, rather than simply residing with one person. With a group ofprofessionals and survivors from within the mental health system working together insuch contested and emotional terrain, was a success in its own right.200A Cathartic MomentMoments were many when counsellor co-searchers were frustrated because they were notcomfortable working in the chaos fundamental to this methodology. Much of this becameplayed out withinthe dress rehearsal. Cast members had invited members and socialworkers from Open Door as a small audience to perform for practice, as well as to ironout snags before the main show. As is typical from my own theatre experience, a chaoticdress rehearsal typically meant a smooth opening night; a smooth dress rehearsal oftenspelled disaster. Cues went long, lighting glitches, costume changes, etc. all made for along dress rehearsal, providing a lot of time to go over details for each cast member.Much was cleared up; however, a couple of counsellors were not happy. Oneperson had stated a particular costume change was taking way too long and should be cut.Tallulah, whose costume change it was, was upset. She demanded she be allowed tomake the costume change because the clothing elements she changed into (a role of astreet person being “liberated” from the social assistance system) was an importantmessage for her to get out to the people. “Words” were exchanged between her andcounsellors. I re-stated this show was for the cast, all of us, to speak publicly. If Tallulahwanted this message said in this way, then it needed to be. To create the time for thechange I stepped in with a brief history piece to speak to the audience before Tallulahreappeared and the situation was resolved. Some counsellors, then, demanded I postponethe show because they felt the group was not ready. Other cast members came over todiscuss this with me, leaving the clients in the cast to look on. I stood my ground and saidthe outward appearance of the show was disorganization, but I had faith in the cast.Another rehearsal was scheduled before the show to continue fine-tuning. It was my201standing up for the cast that created the space for group members to come forward andsay they were ready. They wanted to do this and if I thought the group was ready and Ihad faith in them then they would believe in themselves as well and they would be ready.Having someone stand up with (as opposed to for) the cast was a “moment ofrecognition” in the process, something that struck members in the cast as significant.As it turned out, the cast did not have a full rehearsal, again, before the showbecause the “leads” didn’t show up. A cue-to-cue was carried out for those present toreinforce how the (improvisational) show would run the night of our main performance.Nervousness remained; however, the clients and I did our best to reassure the sceptics.For some time, the dynamic of power and resistance was concentrated between the clientsand therapists; but most importantly, the survivors saw their ability to “stand up” forthemselves achieving what they wanted. In this situation, I felt the group members and Ispoke alongside one another rather than for anyone. I believe this because they were withme when I initially spoke and then when they talked up I “backed away.” This did notmean the sceptical and resistant cast members were silenced because ultimately, havingstated their concerns, they believed in the work.Transient PowerBecause of the wrangling behind the scenes and within the group, rarely did power sit oremerge from one person, but was evoked through relationships among people. Thegroup’s ability to produce was a cohesive strength coming from a relationship of relativeequals. Collectives are comprised of reciprocal bonds. As knowledge emerged within thegroup, so did its unique collaborative influence.202Based on the counsellors’ need to know beforehand was a myth relating to beingforetold, is a sense of strength. They would see themselves as elevated. Powers ofresistance in ambiguity, risk, silence and chaos were present as well. “Teasing out” ofundercurrents is an aim of popular theatre and performative inquiry. Rather than presumeto know the end point of each step in the process, and closing out possibilities; the movewas to resist this by opening up possibilities through play. Further, the group discoveredritual’s power, 1) as it had been constructed for each weekly meeting and 2) throughperformatively unpacking various “invisible” social rituals victimizing their lives. Thiswas liberating when put in the hands of the co-searchers.Performative PowerThe ripple effects of what occurred in the group washed against community barriers,slowly eroding fixed social perceptions. Power existed within the performance asexercised by the group. As these marginalized people emerged as citizens they offeredadditional performances portraying lives within mental diversity. Gradually, thenormalization process occurring within this disempowered group evolved outward intointeractions with the larger community.Within this performative work, power • authority • control, have all playedsupporting roles. When first embarking on this performative inquiry and popular theatre,I was not sure how effective the work would be or how the rural town would take to theperformance. A large piece of the experience at the beginning was educating potentialparticipants what popular theatre was and why scripts were not required. Once the OpenDoor group understood, coupled with the opportunity to play and be animated, the workturned quickly into story. During the show, audience participation during select moments203overwhelmed cast members. They couldn’t believe that spectators were lighting candlesin commemoration of those who had passed on. The power of the movement pieces weremoments that spectators remembered most vividly, even weeks later: Diagnosis Dance,Shadow Screen of Romance, Under Ice, Fitting In the Work World and the ritualsignifring the Death of Normalcy. Symbolism abounded within the play and each objectthat held value for the cast figured prominently in the play: pill bottles, Ichiban Noodles,labels, money, the grocery cart, masks, the constant shadows on the walls and ceiling, thewhite coats and black gowns. All of this was contained in a 27-scene play with acomplicated system of 150 character signs. When the Joker figure engaged the audiencearound issues of employment, responses came.., slowly at first, but then more quicklyand playfully. The test of the power of performance arrived at the end of the play and theaudience rushed the stage in a crowd to talk to the cast. They wanted to know more aboutthe topic of psychiatric survival, to share their own stories or ask for help. A taboo topichad been pushed into the public realm and was welcomed. The cast was validated andtheir goal of being recognized as a valued citizen had begun.Facilitator As Mentoring InfluenceWhat I was not aware of at the time was how important my role was within a mentoringcontext. My power within the group existed within my position as prodder and guide.Through interviews with cast members, I discovered the degree of constant surveillance Iwas under. When I heard local psychiatrists, having come to watch the show, were deeplyangered, I initially felt like I needed to apologize. Through reflection I realized the storiesand experiences relayed were the group members’ lives. My readings of disability studieshad shown disabled people are, by far, among the most silenced and marginalized in204society. Those living with psychiatric disabilities are the most deeply closeted. So tospeak out, even quietly, may be experienced as a scream. Our performance was a holler,so the sound must have been deafening, simply because who was telling the story. I leftmessages with psychiatrists I knew were at the show, but no one returned my contacts formonths. When asked about this medical response, by the cast, my reply was to receive apassionate response either for or against meant the voices of the group were takenseriously. Their stories mattered. The answer was the response the co-searchers agreedwith because these psychiatrists held a lot of power over their bodies and lives. Myresponse seemed to buoy the negativity coming from professionals. If I caved in andbecame apologetic, the effect of the whole experience would be disastrous, guilt-ladenand regressive.Over time, as I became more comfortable and confident in myself to the group,my self-imposed stress lifted. While some within the mental health field werereactionary and less supportive, family doctors and the general community were thrilledwith our work. The group had been invited to present at the local fringe festival forseveral performances in the fall of 2003. These resulted in rave reviews from anenthusiastic local press. Having broad-based community support was important for thisgroup and for any future efforts being planned. To live with chaos, trust in one’s learnersand hold on to faith. . . well I learned my big lesson from the group.It will be what it was meant to be.Have faithIn the processIn the community or groupAnd in yourself..In some ways, this cast was more challenging than I had anticipated. Thelimitations on energy and longer time to process things, while minor, still had shifted the205dynamics of the journey in substantial ways through change of venue, times of meetingsand the overall period the group could commit to the process. What was lacking in timewas made up in the delight of the cast’s animation, playfulness, spontaneity, risk-taking,openness, trust and willingness to venture. Everyone appearing on stage took sharedresponsibility for the performance seriously. This became particularly true during the lasttwo weeks leading up to the production’s presentation. The cast arrived early to set upand take down the set and worked out a system whereby their visual cues of charactersigns were arranged systematically and easily in each. The whole group began to quicklycome together as an ensemble. Cast members helped one another to change for variousscenes. Care being extended to one another fostered the ability to continue taking risks.When I continued to see examples of this I stopped worrying. I understood, in thosemoments, why it was difficult for caregivers to let go of those they helped. When I foundI could step back and have faith, I could join the cast in their sense of freedom and flightsinto the murkiness of the unknown with them; an experience everyone foundmesmerizing. It was then, that I walked the journey alongside instead of out in front.Power In The “Non- Visible”Through performative inquiry, the depth of emotional investment in the explorations wasintense. What is being mined is profoundly personal: experiences, dreams, desires,histories and secrets all contain enormous purchases of feeling. When working withinrandom complexity of lives, moments of revelation were cocooned within emotionalsenses. This investment was intense for people living with mental disorder because therewas a more raw and immediate read of what occurred. Related to the colourings andinterpretations of feelings was the complex interactivity of one’s embodiment containing206physical, spiritual, personal, cognitive, existential and memory work. How these varioussystems took in messages through acts of knowledge, to be interpreted and acted on, I amnot aware. I remained curious as to how the fullness of one’s body-mind and all itssystems and situatedness work in concert to develop awareness. In particular I am unsure,in a precise way, how acts of playing can influence understanding through bodiesinteracting or how embodied and impulsive amusements open up possibilities cocreatively through destruction of form and structures emerging on the edge of chaos.Throughout this experience, I found working with psychiatric survivors was likealways having one more body in the room; one not seen, but could be “felt” nearby: thediagnosis or “illness.” Mental disorder was like having another presence among us:neither invited nor uninvited. Present. Each cast member knew it. As the cast took inplayful experiences, a silent, awkward presence was felt, acknowledged and engagedwith. This invisibility occasionally reached out to us. Perhaps because of shyness or theunfamiliarity of being welcomed, but this “felt” quality insinuated itself in the midst ofour inquiry.Subtle Influences OfRural SpaceThe magnifying effect of the rural location was demonstrated through the audienceinterviews when a number of people had known the people on the stage, particularly theclients. Reactions of psychiatrists were felt through many quarters of the community.This was, perhaps, when my position as outsider helped. I was not tied with deep roots ofhistory to the town and, therefore, extensively known (except perhaps among localcollege students). This distance did not allow doctors to coerce me through the dynamicof “knowing one’s family” that I had experienced growing up in a small farming207community. Threatening retribution through familial or friendship relationships could notoccur; I was relatively unknown. How to deal with me became something of an awkwardmoment for some from within mental health services.The role of having an agency as an ally is critical in gaining community supportand legitimacy. The Open Door program provided transportation; something I had notthought necessary given most of the cast lived within blocks of the initial meeting space.When the group moved to the high school, transportation became critical. Without itparticipants would not have attended; in this Jean and Buster were key. As Amelia stated,Even jfI lived across the street, I would still need to get to theatre withsomeone else. (Interview 14, p. 39)Having the agency ally, also opened up avenues to other community groups like acaregivers’ society, the Canadian Mental Health Association, school boards and othertheatre organizations. And lastly, something Jimmi described one night, after the end ofthe project, helped me put a central aspect of my own learning, alongside the cast’s.Relationships Found Within Voice-Identity-PowerKey players in the “community” that developed within the performance were the cast, theaudience and me. Spectators were mostly individuals who exerted some form of controlover the lives of the co-searchers (caregivers, family members, friends, psychiatrists andsocial workers). There was still a sense that those present were providing a level of“approval” and this power resided among the onlookers. Instead, what began to emergewere reciprocal dialogues. Those who attended were taking in and listening to messages.Moments of influence occurred and there was power being returned to co-searchersthrough the relationship of spectator-actor. Between the cast and I, there was a collectivesense of emerging empowerment. Through my modelling and curiosity in wanting to208learn the co-searchers’ stories, they wanted to understand who I was as well. By sharingour histories connections of insight unfolded among us that gave individuals, and thegroup, power. There was also a sense of identity and belonging that arose. A marker ofthis was we all wore the same clothes: blue jeans and black sweatshirts. Some of the casteven created personal rituals around maintaining these clothes.How does the group know that their stories matter and have power? Some havebecome regular guest speakers at the local college in its Mental Health Certificateprogram. Others now speak at conferences about their experiences. A few have continuedto make more theatre. In these examples, these opportunities emerged becauseindividuals sitting in the audience felt these were important lives to hear. They share theirexperiences of what it is like being cared for, their dreams and aspirations for havingemployment, participating in community and being heard. Their lives mattered. Theirvoices are being heard and many in the cast are moving closer to what they were seeking:being a participating citizen in the community.Emerging Sense ofPower Within PerformativityThrough a diagram I introduced in Chapter 5 I have been able to understand what the castwas, in part, looking for and what performative inquiry sought within its open process.Dynamics relating to voice, power, identity, as three important elements supportinginclusion and empowerment, show a close-knit synergy. Power and voice, alone, do notlead to authentic identity; power and identity by themselves do not provide a trustworthyvoice; voice and identity alone do not lead to empowerment. Importantly, how do thethree positions within this project relate: cast, audience and me? If the cast, previous tothe project, had little power and voice what could be said about their identities? The latter209aspect seemed to be the first thing the cast identified. They wanted to be citizens. The aimof finding identity was a focus for them. Through the use of voice in theatre and power oftheir stories, the issue of identity and pride emerged. Of the three locations (audience, cosearchers, me) the cast members are in the most in-between place in the rural space ofDuncan; existing between the familiarity of the mental health system/their supportnetworks and the place of initiated freedom. It cannot have been a comfortable placeknowing they faced the people being critiqued in the show. As a border worker, crossingsocial frontiers, I find the cracks in society the most familiar for me. Each experience likeShaken: Not Disturbed and the Open Door cast provides another layer of understandingto be taken in to the next project where new opportunities for knowledge can unfoldagain.SummaryJust as I have worked with adult learners within this project and some members of theaudience attending the shows, I reflect on my own experience within this chapter withregard to my own voice, identity and power issues as embarked on this journey as cosearchers. Having a voice does not necessarily mean one has the ability to speak, butthrough group interactions one’s voice is carried farther and with more force:relationships create synergy. As a cultural worker within a group, the strength of one’sidentity is required because many rely on a guide to help with ambiguity and risk. Powerchallenges come from both within and outside the process, or the “lightening rod” effect Iexperienced. Relying on counsellors as allies has to be considered carefully because thoseprofessionals relying on traditional counselling processes can become a barrier to groupeffectiveness; however, those therapists and social workers with a background in popular210arts and performance or a desire to learn within this realm can be strong allies andsupports within the process. Their allegiance to the process unfolding can be a welcomeand supportive presence felt by all. Within team teaching the same is true: working withan expert-knowledge driven instructor believing all things can be measured willundermine a colleague practicing open-ended, ambiguous and problem-posing educationprocesses and vice versa.The successes contained by this work far surpass the challenges. The group isembarked on a new cycle of popular theatre and performative inquiry within exploringthe linkages between at-risk youth behaviour and entry into the mental health system asyoung adults. The process continues. The next chapter sums up the study by makinglinkages between this work and other potential avenues for research and inquiry.211CHAPTER EIGHTPERFORMING LIFE AFTERLIVING AN INQUIRYWalker, your footsteps are theroad,and nothing more.Walker, there is no road,the road is made by walking.Walkingyou make the road,and turning to look behindyou see the pathyou neveragainwillstepupon.Walker, there is no road,onlyfoam trails on the sea.(Machado, 1983, trans. R.Bly, p. 39)Implications For PraxisThe focal question initiating this study was: What shifts occur within a group ofruraladults living with mental disorder(s) as it developed andpresented an absurdist populartheatre community production? A query immediately emerged: shifts in what? Throughthe inquiry, three key interrelated notions emerged: voice, identity and power.The opening chapters explored key aspects of this work by looking at place (rurallocation), people (adults living with mental disorders), process (performative inquiry,popular adult education and popular theatre) and form (existentialist/absurdist imagery).These pieces shaped the study’s landscape. This chapter contemplates various avenuesfor future research. I begin with revisiting the importance of the central three dimensions212carried forward within this work: identity, voice and power. The focus sharpens on thisstudy’s potential influence on other disciplines and related fields of study. I examinecommunity development, notions of citizenship, rural studies, performative inquiry,popular adult education and popular theatre. I have also included a piece on therapeuticpraxis because of some of the challenges this work posed for those with a counsellingbackground. Latter portions of this chapter relate to the ways this research potentially caninform theorizations within disability theory and psychiatric disability. The chapter endswith future research directions being pursued.Opening Up Spaces: Opening Up VoicesAs we explored through greater acceptance of one another’s “real” identity, finding voiceopened ourselves up to embodied engagement within the larger social world. As we reimagined the stigma and closetedness of identity of those in the cast and finding physicalconnection to the larger community, many barriers were overcome. We discovered thatvoice is not just a question of speaking presence, but also involves being confident andconversant in exchanging and reading expression. As I grew more aware of the uniqueinteractions within the group, interpreted and engaged with each member, my own self-assurance and comfort grew as well.Groups and individuals are erased and silenced through the injustice experiencedfrom not having a voice. Remaining quiet is never seen as neutral. Being mute is read asagreement, acquiescence and “accepting” a devalued social location. When groupmembers discussed the “request” of other survivors and psychiatrists to be quiet and notdo the play, this point was raised repeatedly. My role was one of caution and findingways to minimize the harm of silenced voices speaking out. When long-stifled voices213speak up, as in this study, even a whisper is shocking and unbelievable. In this play we,the cast, went farther. Authorities’ actions were aped so the collective voice of the groupin this rural community was noticed. However, the study showed even those voices wereperceived as not being truly their own. Despite the experiences being portrayed in theplay emanating from the lives of the cast, medical authorities assumed the voicerepresented was that of mine alone. This implied a presumption of mental minorities notable to have perspectives, particularly if the voices are filled with resistance. The powerof “voice” was passed to members from another psychiatric survivor clubhouse, alsointerested in theatre, as a way of being heard. This sharing marked the transmission ofculture from one marginalized group to another.In this project, cast members felt resistance from other adults living with mentaldiagnoses. A “dance” occurred around the mental closet door. “Safety” in remaininginvisible and silenced continued. By muffling the presence and needs relating to one’sself, individuals are unimagined. Having a voice and speaking up means perspectivesbecome known. Fear of being shoved back into a closet of stigmatization is a constantpossibility and threat. Remaining outside the mental closet means a lifetime of comingout. I learned other ways of comprehending my sexual minority status and presenting it inmore animated, upfront and playful ways. Managing one’s identity and voice is required:playing both sides of being and performing, for others. Siding with silence means thestatus quo remains unchallenged in its presumption of social position. Not envisionedwas the cast’s wrestling with both those living with mental impairments and “normate”others (Garland Thompson, 1997). However, the cast spoke out in its own terms.214Through speaking comes identity. The voice of power is not the power of voice.The power to make known identity, through expression, raises the potential to influenceothers’ and one’s own habitus. Possessing language and the means to name worlds areforms of power used to shape experience and meaning (Foucault, 1980). As the groupexplored together, there were ways of speaking about episodes in their lives, which wereinitially disempowering, but that eventually evolved into greater empowerment. Withinthis group were those with selves labelled, constrained, measured and manipulated inways not theirs. The focus of identity being rooted in emotions, and the ability to controlthem, rather than have feelings consume one’s self, is a critical step to giving voice toone’s autonomy. Expression implies an audience and the social aspect of identity.Feedback is read, taken in, interpreted, accepted or rejected and adapted. As both aninsider/participant in the group and always an outsider to the status of psychiatricsurvivor, I was continually aware of how I experienced the stories and voices ofparticipants. As such, how I responded would be seen as a reflection of my participation.Individuals become reflections of others’ actions toward them. However, power is in theself-realization of self. What I had not anticipated was what I saw within co-searcherinteractions was their experience of me reflected back.Identity FormationChange flows as notions of members’ identities shifted. In the beginning, eachindividual’s identity and voice was directed by constructions of medical authorities’ andfamily/friends’ visions. The effect on performance and play to open up identities forcelebration and pride was key to what transpired through this experience. Early on,participants initially asked me, “What are you looking for?” or “What do you want?” A215learned behaviour is indicated when these questions are posed. The responses suggestedexperiences marked by erasing or subjugating one’s identity in favour of those withauthority. It took some time for co-searchers to understand that my research “agenda”was to make theatre and understand what it means to be a psychiatric survivor. Therelative lack of pre-determined structure helped with this. Over time, group membersgrew to understand that I did not want to impose myself as “the director.” Rather, theysaw my role, as both facilitator and learner and they, in turn, could be the same. Theopenness of process allowed each participant to play with meaning in individuallyrelevant ways. I had no expectation as to outcome. This resonated when the group, justbefore the performance, assured me that what arises was “meant to be.” As was statedduring the dress rehearsal, “It will be what it will be — we can’t force anything” (NobleNotes, p. 220). Elites’ views, in this research, are represented by norms of “helping”professions, family members, caregivers and community interests. What helps illustratethis within our work is the power of role models and the facilitator. People living in themargins are astute in reading reactions from the social centre. Any perception ofidentities not being taken seriously, or invalidated by me, would undermine the work.Individuals would become disengaged, even resistant, and no longer invested in the work.A tension between “acting” one’s self in the broader world and “being real” onthe stage illustrated the constructedness of co-searcher identities the cast of Shaken felt.Tallulah recounted “finding” her true self in the “artificiality” of theatre. This discoveryshe preferred over the enforced identity expected of her by others in her life. She foundshe was “playing a part” to please people in her life. In the end, she lost her sense of self.This experience helped her regain and reconnect her identity to her self. Environments of216fiction, and the process of rehearsal, helped the group understand individuals oftenpresent masks to the world. Having the experience to explore and interstand, throughinteractions, moments occurred when personae or “masks” were less required. Thisrevelation was voiced after the project when Tallulah said that she would watch my faceas she “checked-in” each week and was surprised that I was watching her and reacting towhat she had to say. Understanding this lesson was initially uncomfortable, buteventually empowering to me as well. Becoming internally connected demonstrated therelationship between autonomous identity and the ability to find one’s voice. The idea offreedom for authentically living in the social world is an underlying notion ofexistentialists. The goal is to live as resonantly as possible to one’s own nature. Thegroup of co-searchers were told to live in “bad faith,” or inauthentically, by gatekeepersof normalcy. The “helping” professions coerced survivors by stating that in order to beconstructed and read as “normal” they had to learn how to conform. Absurdists read thisdrive for constructing narrow normalization and policing the boundaries as inherentlypointless (Camus, 1956). The label of “mentally ill” is permanent even when a label of“cure” is placed alongside. Meaning cannot be imposed from the outside in; it has to beunderstood from the inside of one’s body to be perceived as authentic (Foucault, 1965;Szasz, 1997). Working with the group,.I was careful not to impose meaning but to elicitfrom members through our interactive exploring.Humour and the sense of play have important roles in reconfiguring identity. As agay person, I find I experience straight discomfort when my identity is revealed.Managing discomfort becomes my job in relationships. Working with this group,marginalized identities were reduced to sources of difference by status quo observers, but217the group interstands: identity is not pathology. A sense of self is more physically basedthan often is considered. Personality and identity are believed, by some, to be residingwithin mental functioning rather than within material and embodied interactions.However, group members illustrated that the body, physical engagement and performingwithin one’s habitus are key sources for awareness of self: theirs and others.Gaining PowerThe greater the comfort in believing each person has a valuable place in the world andcan exercise voice, the more likely there will be a realization of personal and social senseof power. The views of “power over” and “power to” were played out among some castmembers. I found myself taking a step back many times into the background to let thegroup explore. When I made efforts to reduce my influence in the group, wonderfulthings occurred. By taking experiences of theatre into broader social worlds, there isawareness that the dichotomy of “fiction” and “reality” is problematic. Cast membersdiscover coping in society requires “performing” to function smoothly. Institutions makeliving authentically difficult because their rules for belonging are for institutional andsocial interests, not individuals’ betterment. Also, the Internet, mass media, advertisingand news agencies influence perceptions. Bombardments of images and expectations ofsocial functions are accelerating. Roles are put on like clothing to manage impressions ofothers’ views. Metaphorically, this was demonstrated as cast members played charactersbestowed with power and those (themselves) with autonomy taken away. Those livingwithin non-visible marginalized identities feel the greatest pressure through needing to“pass.” Excluded individuals are rendered unimagined and, therefore, without directinfluence.218Pervasive influence of medical and social work authorities on the lives andidentities of the people in the project persisted. The significance of this study wasexperiencing the power coming from the sense of belief in one’s self and message.Initially, my role as outsider played “audience” for the group. But as my ownmarginalized gayness emerged within the group, there was a level of sharing in theexperience of each other’s differing sources of oppression. We were changed by oneanother through talking about and exploring personal experiences. When awareness andempathy emerged, there was a sense of stories being legitimated, rather than simplyheard. Through finding a stronger voice, participants were able to stand on stage to faceall-powerful medical authorities. They, also, lampooned and satirized the relationshipbetween patient (themselves) and doctor (their psychiatrists). Performing in thecommunity, for many in the cast, was a collective “moment of recognition.” A mappingof”aha” moments appears in Table 8. Facing authority in their lives, through poking fun,allowed the cast to see powerful others as a little less threatening and a little more human.Another importance was the power of challenging the community by showing a group ofpeople, long considered “useless,” bug that had the power to create, speak and participateas citizens. This project involved the power of communicating difference and a “normalcommunity’s” reception of a seldom-heard message. Our group’s mental diversityrepresented a powerful message for “shaking” stereotypes of difference. While much of apsychiatric survivor’s identity is perceived as financially dependent and having a“fractured” identity, cast members found a way to speak up as one. By being vocal, eachhas become known. By being heard, making identity visible and exerting individualpower, the concept of citizen emerged.219Table 8“Aha” Moments and Relationships to Voice, Identity and PowerKEY “AIIA” I EXERCISE VOICE IDENTITY POWERMOMENTSThe notion of having Multiple voices Voices Power worksmultiple voices with with divergent speaking throughcontradictory demands Bombardment demands over one relationships.resonated for some in oppress. How another How can I findthe cast. The impulse can I interrupt serve to the strength towas to turn what all these erase each. resist theseoccurs within one demands? Do I do this pressures in mybody outward to the to others? life?audience to increase How can Iawareness relating to stop thisexperience of “mental with thosedisorder.” in my life?Suffering transforms Voice is not We become Changing howbodies into vulnerable always vocal — how our we hold ourand closed positions Complete the but is hidden in bodies are bodies affectsfighting for a breath of Image our bodies. read and our sense ofrecognition and What are the interpreted, self. What areviability: a sense of ways I can/do How can I the ways I canentrapment. communicate be more practicewith my body? consciously changing how Iand live in andphysically experience myaware? body?Emotions don’t Emotions are Emotions To someautomatically. powerful are strong degree, each“control” people, but Emotional voices. How sources for person canby being consciously Walk are emotions identity and controlaware there can be experienced? identities emotions rathersome control of are tied to than letemotions. individuals emotionsemotionally, dictate what weHow can I do. What aredisconnect some of thesome of the ways I canfeelings tied control and useto my sense my emotionsof self? rather than beled by them?220KEY “ABA” EXERCISE VOICE IDENTITY POWERMOMENTS. .... ......How various forms of Related to Rituals By changingpower influence and voice-in- identify who the nature ofoppress the fortunes of Forum body.... Bodies is important. relationshipsothers, particularly Theatre in ritual action Psychiatric within ritualsthose who are seen as are not just survivors individual and“not belonging.” Also symbolic but are usually collectivethe ritualistic quality are powerful objects in a empowermentof authority that often ways of ritual, not can occur.allows it to work speaking. How the agent What are theinvisibly, can rituals be carrying ways of doingrendered them out. this? How canvisible? How can rituals becomeobjects be interrupted?turned intosubjects?Regimentation of Silence and By not It takes a lot ofsociety— especially body are strong speaking personal powerthe work world. How Body Guards sources of and to work againstthe need to conform speaking. Do I announcing society’scan be more blindly fall into my expectations,“maddening” than the another’s silent presence, I especially as andesire to be individual, authority? am individual. Caninvisible. I we find ways tofollow the do this as agroup group?because it’ssafe andeasier. Can Ishow howimportant Iam to thegroup?221KEY “ABA” EXERCISE VOICE IDENTITY POWERMOMENTSIndividuals “wear” What a person Just as what By hidingmasks... or they are hears from is said is aspects of who Inot who they appear. Alter Egos others is not partly am, I cannotThere are hidden the full hidden, so become all Imotivations and message. are parts of want to be.interests that control There are identity, Also, I cannotinteractions, hidden creating take on ainterests and problems complete sensemessages. and mental of personalWhy are stress. How power becausemessages can the there is acontrolled? unseen and continual innerWhy are seen be struggle. Howindividuals brought can this innernot free to back to a tension bespeak? more reduced?integratedsense ofself?Labelling involves Society Labels Whoever hasboth the taking on of speaks for involve both the authority tonew perceptions and many. There destruction label holdsthe destruction of old Rite of Passage is a social of previous much socialones. When named sorting that identities power over“not normal,” there is goes on and and groups anda passing of status or putting labels construction individuals.the taking on of on individuals of new ones. This is often“outsider”— and the is one way of Affixing done intaking away of doing this. labels of invisible wayssomething known, Society “illness” in and in mannerfamiliar and “speaks” and multiple and that appears tocomfortable on the individuals various be “natural.” Ininside. This related to take in the ways adds what ways caneach disorder label collective to confusion processes ofbeing attached to a will. In what of self. How labelling beparticular notion of ways can can the disrupted soidentity. voice be process of that individualsfound in these illness can understandsituations? identity be themselves tointerrupted? be “normal” ina broader senseof the word?222KEY “ABA” EXERCISE VOICE IDENTITY POWERMOMENTSIndividuals don’t always Silly Related to I need to It takes a strongsay what they mean or Questions language used have a sense of self tohide their true message to hide. strong sense speak withto protect themselves or Euphemisms of who I am power andexclude others from and “double- in order to challenge. Whatknowing. speak” create a hear what can I do toshell game of others have confrontmeaning. to say. One languages ofCarefully way is to exclusion?listening to engage withwhat is being others tosaid is more learn moreimportant than about me.how. Where How do I doelse does this that if I’mhappen in my beinglife? excluded?The confusion of Red Rover Related to The push Knowing who Iintentions of those bombardment — and pull of am and what Iaround us. Some people often well- want/need is atindividuals mean well speak from meaning the heart ofbut don’t have our protecting people adds relationshipsinterests at heart and themselves to erasure. with othersothers just don’t know rather than How can I yet thebut don’t realize this. helping others. find myself confusion isin the how otherstension of reflect theirmultiple perceptions ofvoices? me .... How canI make theconflictingdemands stop?Implications For Rural TheorizingNew Rural RealitiesJust as within the mental margins, small towns are also being forced into new ruralrealities. Gone are the days of warehousing mental “patients.” Gone are the traditionalsenses of small town and farming sensibilities and government subsidies. Both groups are223uprooted and disconnected from larger social fabrics. Senses of home have becomedramatically changed with neither provided a stable and safe sense of familiarity. Bothremain controlled by powerful others: the country run by urban interests and agriculturalsupply companies; mentally diagnosed people dictated by medical authorities and drugcompanies. Theory used to describe their plights is borrowed from elsewhere: countrylife from urban theory and mental diversity from disability studies.This unique community does play a subtle role in this research. Through Duncanhaving a high per capita of artists and craftspeople and a strong sense of country identity,the play piqued interest across a wide cross-section of local citizens. The significance ofnotions of “country” and art was played out among audience members. Some commentedthey noticed others, casually known among the spectators, and wondered why theseindividuals were at a play about “mental illness.” The local press’s involvement in theexperience became magnified within the community. Tighter social networks, morecommonly found within country settings, highlighted urban theory’s lapses: localrelationships among citizens-as-popular performers and audience-as-communitieslistening and learning. What are the dynamics of reception and change in awarenesstaking place within the context of citizens in a small town as popular education takesplace? The rural tradition of helping one another was realized within this experience.Admission of tinned goods for the Open Door kitchen, money, clothing, or used sportsequipment to help out the Open Door programming was asked for. The anticipation waspeople bringing one of something. Many brought one of each item. The cast received alarge anioimt of donations and money from the main community show. The Open Doorvan was loaded twice to take it away for clubhouse members to use. An overriding224question left behind is: What changes to the interactions among psychiatrically diagnosedmen and women and the general public have taken place? What is the lasting effect ofthis project on and within the bodies of the townspeople?Community DevelopmentThis work is significant in its use of arts-based research and learning within a ruralcommunity. When the intimate relationships of a small town are brought into thediscussion, all the attributes are felt. Townspeople, from across social difference and agebrackets, understand on an emotional and experiential level of what the cast wasportraying. Some from the mainstream found the topic discomforting and “angry”(Audience 5, p. 3). Mental health clients laughed in recognition at absurd contradictionssurrounding their lives. Disparate responses reflected the disconnections within theaudience and, through the spectators, within the town. Local authorities felt angerbecause they perceived their positions were being directly challenged. Clients capturedby the measure, control and oppression of others’ lives, identified with the bleak humourof existence on the edge.Through adoption into other social networks, the cast became (re)connected innew ways adding to existing relationships within the community. The castcomplementing community networks enhanced the town’s cohesion. By addinginterconnections, a heightened sense of rural place was created for the cast and audience.The players implicitly illustrated the possibilities for (re)empowering and (re)envisioningselves in empowering ways. Mental health clients among the spectators commented thatwatching the cast, knowing them and what they have achieved provided a role model.The play expressed hopeful achievements can be made within outcast lives.225The project is significant for the cast. From tentative beginnings, membersreflected on the experience. They realized the risk taken for them individually andcollectively. The play demonstrated key achievements including: completing a largeproject and being creative in an embodied manner. Arts and theatre processes havepotential health benefits for mental health clients, including heightened self-regard andpositive energy levels. Memorization was something I was warned psychiatricallydiagnosed individuals could not do well. This play, involving 27 scenes and seven oreight characters for each cast member and remembering each scene, suggests systematicrecall can be achieved. Imagery seems to be a much more powerful way of generatingmemory.Citizenship RolesThis project reaffirmed everyone living within a community plays an important role ascitizen. Striving to be a fully connected and valued citizen was key among cast members.Each co-searcher lived on the social margins. They were told they could do little withtheir lives, so they had little social value. The experience of the play opened up new waysof achieving citizenship. Entry into sameness cannot be total; psychiatric stigma remainsfor life. The play suggested each player does have a voice to use, ideas to share, stories totell and roles to play. The group’s role included being an educator of social issues.Implications for Performative Inquiry As MethodologyAdult Education PraxisThe experience of this research reinforces the persistent place, need and role for adulteducation within the informal learning and participatory education contexts of marginalcommunities. Boshier (2004) suggests the first generation anarchist-utopian approaches226to adult education have “all but disappeared.” The experience of this study suggests aviable place remains within society for the ideas of Ohliger and Illich. Boshier’ s secondevolution of anarchist-utopia, as evidenced by skills-bases and globalization, impliesprevailing social thinking, including adult education, has moved beyond grassrootscommunity action. Those in the margins have been left behind because they have noopportunity to participate in global marketplaces. Society does not consider psychiatricsurvivors for skills acquisition. Further, disability theorists ask why is paid work or beinga consumer the markings for being a citizen? This experience points to other ways.The increasing abandonment of impaired people by the status quo has left manyscattered in makeshift enclaves in the wake of “progress.” This research entered into twosuch communities: rural lives and adults living with mental diversity. Both have beenignored by the drive for global labour and economic markets. Rather than suggest oneanarchist-utopian perspective has erased the other, this research suggests a widening ofthe gulf between two distinct solitudes: the margins and the centre; the haves and havenots is occurring. A need remains, more than ever, for a renewed emphasis on counterhegemonic adult education within communities left struggling because of shifts ineconomic and social prejudice.Further, because of the increasing gap between privilege and disadvantage, thehistorical liminality of many adult education efforts remains a site where urgent workcontinues at individual/community levels. The political commitment within populareducation remains as needed as ever. What continues to be needed is a sustained projectof social learning, social action and social commitment, rather than ad hoc moments.Existing within the mainstream are non-visible communities long ago co-opted or227ignored. This research suggests the disruptive capabilities of creative social interrogationalso transgress power relations. Cultures of silence persist. Marginalized groups arepushing against enforced norms to disturb and challenge the taken-for-granted non-visibility authorities try to invest disempowered groups.This study’s process was about adults raising new understandings in thecommunity to teach and raise awareness farther afield: the calling of adult education. Thepractice of libratory adult education is practiced with few institutional blockages ininformal learning settings. Becoming too closely interconnected with officialorganizations and their reporting requirements can stifle expression and, therefore,knowledge. Working loosely with the Open Door, with no financial “ownership” of ourwork, the group’s freedom was extensive. Explorations were not impeded by outsideinfluences wherever the group veered. Nor were efforts to perform blocked by medicalauthorities efforts to control and contain.Once the cast was comfortable in taking on its new role of (re)shaping its voiceand identity, much of the work was guided by all the members rather than by thefacilitator alone. When shared negotiation was taken up by the group to develop thework: 1) the performance became focussed on the messages they wanted conveyed; and2) strong ownership of the process and experience shifted to the cast. When those notliving with psychiatric diagnoses tried to block or shift the group, the resistance wasstrong and the group’s resolve to finish was steadfast. Commitment displays confidenceand a belief in the message, their work and themselves as humans and citizens.This experience brought to mind the role and process of adult education. I amreminded of something I tell education classes: Is the role of education to guide society,228or should society guide education? Being led as an adult educator creates a continuationof the status quo, complete with injustices, power differentials and oppression. Thecourage is to guide society forward in a more engaged manner. Words are not the onlyway to inform. Emotions, art, bodies, stories and working together toward some goal in adiverse group all can help break down barriers and open up society.Performative InquiryThe capability of the body to perform allows for some resurrection of “ruined” identity.When stigmatized people perform eloquently, an illustration of members’ strengths andabilities become known. The art of performance is one crossing diverse social andcultural differences with greater ease, at times, than words alone. Performativeexplorations and the resulting play highlight the role of rituals in the construction ofnormalcy, through sanctifying taken-for-granted and finding profanity in unexpectedbehaviour. Each of the performance’s “acts” contained a number of taken-for-grantedrites. Repeatedly portraying customs illustrated how differences become constructed andmaintained through the use of language, silence, habits, physical interactions and the useof space. The exercise of often-invisible power is more readily recognizable whenindividuals can stand back and look at the habitus of their respective lives.Inquirers come to action through form and the destruction of form. Performativeinquiry may be described as “knowing, doing, being, creating” (Fels, 1998) and myaddition of “playing.” The experience of this group and the animated nature of theindividuals also points to the power of play. The ability to run around, laugh, imagine andexperiment, without premeditation as to outcome, is risky. Making novel connectionswithin past experience allows individuals greater future freedom to make choices in229living. For the facilitator to be guided by the work and the group is as disorienting as it isinsightfiil. The use of play to create allows for destruction of old disharmonic, or absurdways to construct relevant autonomy. Play was central to the work explored and created.As a result, this research extends the nature of interstanding envisioned by performativeinquiry.This study also expands the boundaries with regard to arts-based inquiry. Ourperformative searching was not in the “fiction” of an imagined world, but lived within theinterstices of make-believe and felt life. Bodies took in the concreteness of sharedactions, constructed stories and felt experience. “Pretending” can give a false sense ofsafety because the work is perceived as “not real.” Illusion is not protective; theexperience of performing is holistically and intimately embodied and experienced. Theresult is that using theatre is risky and fraught with dangerous moments (Salverson,1996). Our group took this work as concrete experience and as something affecting themon many levels. Participants could feel shared dreams, tears and laughter in ourrehearsals. Group members they were given the gift of one another’s experience toexplore. Co-searchers handled these histories with honour because what was givenremained not the group’s, but it was safeguarded by it. I learned, through this process,that it is possible for individuals to play in and with the memories of another as long asthey also offer their own in a reciprocal process for others to embrace in space-moments.With this potential, I am also mindful that performative excavation is fragile, fraught withrisks of exploiting and retraumatizing individuals who wish to over-expose theirmemories (Salverson, 1995).230Theatre is not a fictionalized world, but is materially experienced. This notion ismore strongly apparent when the lives of members interrelate to others unfamiliar withliving with a mental diagnosis. Those in the group, not from the mental margins, were notpretending to be someone with a psychiatric disorder, but did live with other sources ofmarginality. Each member had sources of disempowerment resonating with what thepsychiatric survivors were exploring. I drew on my experiences living with my sexualminority status and struggling financially as a student while caring for a disabled partner.By bringing each of our own constellations of oppression (and privilege), we in acommunity group built bridges of insight in order to strengthen our relationship ofalliance. Others drew on their unique positionalities of poverty, unemployment andimmigrant to build bridges of understanding across diverse experiences.Unlike performative inquiry work that is constructed in classrooms, this projecttook the process into the community to work through experienced issues. Because of thephysicality of our work, none of the participants forgot, when leaving the concreteness ofcontained space, everyday society continued. No complete cutting off of the rehearsalcontainer from the rest of members’ lives was done. Bleeding occurred between the two.The metaxic (the image of reality and the reality of the image) work deepened theengagement of the adult learner within the performative learning environment whileworking with issues of disempowerment (Boal, 1974).As Fels suggests (2003), role drama like popular theatre can draw on stereotypesas is intentionally found within absurdism and popular theatre. These superficialcharacters can be informative if, through the action, the systems of influence that shapethem are recognized and critically deconstructed. Some stock characters within the action231of Shaken existed. What was depicted was metaphorical and even, at times, whimsical —with an edge. Were group members afraid of offending the authorities? Not particularly.Each week, a lot of frustration in the room existed because of the callousness andindifference in treatment and consideration individuals received. Maintaining mainstreamsensibilities was something expected of marginalized locations: outsider statuses shouldnever offend or challenge the status quo. The group’s focus was a counter-hegemonic onebecause the foregrounding of marginalized living became affected by status quoignorance and self-interest.Popular Theatre PraxisMuch popular theatre work involves implicitly working with rituals because of socialfunctioning and the ways cultural power and knowledge are passed on. The process,partially planned and emergent, incorporates the process of ritual and the construction of“containers.” These rites sanctify the operation of popular theatre that occurs throughperformance development and teaching/learning. The identification of social rites andtheir use to (dis)empower various groups was a central focus. More important wasrendering visible these unseen strategies of power carried out by group members. Thisconjuring was done by playing with each narrative through teasing apart theconfiguration of negative forces. The result was a less frustrating barrier. These effortshelped cast members to become more autonomous and confident.The facilitator’s role as “lightning rod,” within this project, reinforced belief inthe need for cultural workers to remain flexible and open. The role of the cast’s guidecontinually changed from being the “leader” to being led. This shifting allowed the groupto move the process and nature of performance where it needed to go. The tugging and232pushing members experienced between “performing for the director” for some “theatricalend” versus having the group take up the inquiry process was tougher for some amongthe cast than for others. Co-searchers discovered a shift in ritualized and habitualized roleexpectations. Cast members grew used to the idea of taking control to create. Givingpower (an action unfamiliar and unaccustomed) wasn’t enough. The group had to growfamiliar with authority or autonomy before moving forward in co-creation.Existentialist/Absurdist FormsThe attraction for incorporating hidden experiential themes and forms into the work wasthe study’s focus. Like other groups of people often living intimately with death,destruction and oppression, humour is found in the darkest corners. The laughter ofmental health clients, versus squirming audience members in response to what wasportrayed, hinted at separate worlds being created and reinforced between a narrow senseof rationality and a broader mental diversity. Absurdism, satire and parody are potentialadult educational modes of resistance that can be used by those who are disenfranchisedand living with greater intimate clinging to life and death struggles. Knowing strifedeeply is to understand one’s place within the world, perhaps to a better degree, thanthose people who accept mass media, “banking” education and prodigious consumption.Laughing at and in the world can open up possibilities for learning to occur and forawareness of social inequity to spread. However, the playfulness of the margins can stillremain “misread” as it was in this case.Therapeutic PraxisAn implied perception, when working with marginalized people, is the focus needs to betherapeutic: “fixing” rather than understanding. Counsellors often have ingrained233approaches: the need to listen from a distancing point of view, a unilateral process ofcontrolling the relationship and changing something “wrong” within the individual.Society’s structure and responses to difference are ignored or deemed irrelevant. Many inthe cast have spent years within counselling relationships, so expectations were assumedthat the same would hold true in Shaken. Demanding everything is known before startinga rehearsal, rather pre-determining discovery during and after a session, removes freedomto explore within the chaos and ambiguity required in performative inquiry. If “disorder”were introduced into counselling relationships a new array of interstandings, couldemerge. Placing control as the centre of the relationship echoes an “expert” domesticatingmarginalized lives. Establishing expectations within therapeutic relationships foreclosesopportunities. By not editing (censoring) scenes or elements from the production givesthe group power to include what it feels needs to be expressed. A traditional theatre eye“editing” pieces out, particularly in a directorial kind of way places structure overcontent. This shift reconstructs a power relationship typical in the lives represented bythis cast. Authorities and loved ones have told those they care for what they cannot orshould not do. Freedom is learned by those knowing repression and those repressing.Letting go and accepting difference in the spirit of freedom is a difficult lesson to learnby someone identifying closely with status quo power and authority. Teaching is aboutnurturing and changing the world by having people change their own worlds in their own,more meaningful ways. The first hurdle, then, is to disturb the relationship of dependencyoccurring within therapy in order to learn and open up one’s selves to the world.Openness is a central, yet underlying, lesson understood by the group after the process:To not be afraid.234Further Research ProgramDrawing up this study, the experience of the cast, and learning revealed, future researchstreams number four. These spheres of interest reside within the lives of adults, so allinform my ongoing adult education praxis and theorizing.The first is further study into non-visible markers ofdifference. Centrally, myresearch focus is on the exploration of those noticeable individual and group differencesoverlooked by others. Markers of difference are rendered non-visible (unlike invisibledifferences, which are those not able to be seen — non-visible incorporates the dynamic ofchoice and value for not seeing). Dynamics supporting non-visibility include the use ofritual, habit, procedures, rules, laws and other human “performances.” Theseperformative acts are used to hide, suppress and restrict visibility and freedom. Criticaltheories and the concept of power are central to future explorations. Individuals andgroups of particular interest for exploration of “non-visibility” include marginalized andout groups (lesbians, gays, bisexuals, non-visibly disabled people, addicts, ex-convicts,class) as well as how intra-group differences work to form power and resistances(dynamics of mestizo, mulatto, “straight-acting” gays/lesbians, gradations of skin colouramong visible minorities and those who do not fit common generalizations of groupidentity).Secondly, of interest, are the uses ofperformative processes as researchmethodology to render visible, repressive social practices of oppression and knowledge orperspectives not knowable to larger audiences. Because identity, to be realized, isrepeatedly performed, the centrality of performance as a research strategy plays a keyrole. Working with groups, either of one group examining another or a group researching235itself, a form of “performed sociology” can be created. Theory and practice are entwinedto inform what evolves out from beneath the surfaces of (inter)relationships.Thirdly, involves the ways notions of rural and urban implicate one anotherthrough forces moulding the manner in which individuals and collectives behave acrossdifference. This is connected to the interest of non-visibility in much sociological theoryenvisioning city lives. Country sensibilities are either excluded or folded into urbanistthinking. A greater focus on non-urban societies receiving greater exploration andunderstanding is crucial.Fourthly, is a research interest of creating spaces andprocessesfor communitydialogue and interstanding as a process of individual learning and community education,through arts-based processes and performance. One area of non-visibility is the myth ofthe unified community. Gatherings of people are as unique as the people comprisingthem. It is through bridging between communities, through art, a significant role forregional development can occur.SummaryThis chapter closes the project; while at the same time opens up possibilities beyond.Future research direction within performative inquiry praxis, in addition to the abundanceof questions this study has unlocked, has expanded research efforts into differentdirections. The interdisciplinarity of performative inquiry and the performativity ofpopular education and theatre work have placed me within a social location of liminalityfor many years. The constancy and the stability of constant flux contain much of thedouble-edged meaning of “asylum” as a place to be feared and for safety and familiarity.Those among the cast remarked at how much flexibility was required to be aware: of236diversity in the group, listening to multiple demands, thinking creatively, being humorousand patient while being play-full and curiously searching.In a time when commodification is creeping into adult education efforts, there is areduction in experiential, embodied and full-flesh knowledge-making. The struggleagainst such an entrenchment creates sceptics and challenges, but the question hoveringunanswered is: What awareness would be foregone without embodied knowing?I love theatre because illusions repel me. (Barba, 2003, p.4.)Not wallsOfcement, but...The melodiesOfyour temperature(Barba, 1995, p. 162)We began in the shadows and in the shadows we prefer to live. (Barba, 2000, p. 1)Jam IYou are YouThefear becomeslam You You are me!!GO MENTAL I!! 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Thisstudy examined the relationship of othering by exploring mental diversity.The potential for this study was its anticipated ability to interrupt and questiontaken-for-grantedness of performed privilege. If a group enters a space to performativelyexplore freely its collective meaning in society from its own perspective, whatunderstanding arises? Could exaggeration, or “farce,” be used to absurdly deconstructsocial messages and influences? In turn, could satire be a form of empowerment withinan experience of theatre making? The following query is an engagement of theseunderlying questions and guide this study: What shifts occur within a group ofruraladults living with mental disorder(s) as it developed andpresented an absurdist populartheatre community production?As noted in this dissertation, this section explores the theoretical underpinnings ofthis inquiry in greater detail. Of particular note are the areas of critical disability theory,rural sociology and the methodological aspects of the study. To help set up thesediscussions, this current chapter briefly reviews the placement of performance researchwithin the continuum marked by quantitative and qualitative research. From thisbaseline, follows the rest of the examination contained in the chapters that follow.ASSUMPTIONS CONTAINED IN RESEARCHContained within any research project is a set of assumptions that support the approachused. To help place the framework that supports the two key research paradigms mostoften used, quantitative and qualitative, alongside that associated with performance-basedresearch, a table is provided on page 255. For quantitative research the various beliefs arecaptured by a positivist view. Qualitative studies often rely on a naturalist position.Performative inquiry, as relied on in this work, depends upon an enactivist perspective.As described in the table, quantitative or positivistic research relies upon a fixedand singular view of “reality” that can be manipulated for examination. Conversely,performative inquiry that embraces an enactivist view relies upon “reality” that is deeplyinterconnected and interwoven with popular theatre and absurdism so as to be impossibleto truly pull apart in isolation because everything is part of this cosmological thing called“reality.” Qualitative or naturalistic research resides in between the other two.254Table: Assumptions of Positivist, Naturalist and Enactivist Theoretical ApproachesAssumption Positivist Naturalist EnactavistOntological Reality is single, Realities are Complexly and complicatedly(The nature of tangible and divisible multiple, interconnected.., everyone andreality) constructed and everything all part of oneholistic wholeness and cannot besegmentedEpistemological Knower and known Knower and known “interstanding” so that(Relationship of are independent are interactive, awareness emerges thoughknower and through dualisms inseparable interactions with other bodiesknown) and is one aspect of anenvironment; arise through andwithin relationshipsAxiological Inquiry is value-free, Inquiry is value- Biases welcomed and(The role of biases “absent” bound, biases encouraged so all involved canvalue) possible learn and challenge in order tocreate “stopped” moments ofinterstanding — bias-freeresearch an impossibilityRhetorical Fonnal, scientific Literary, informal Body, emotion, movement, arts,(Language of style, style, personal interrelationshipsresearch) voiceMethodological Deductive, context Inductive, studies Mapped moments offree experimental the topic in context, recognition; reflecting backsettings, uses emerging upon stopped moments; openpredetermined design design ended because of continualproblem-posingPossibility of Time and context- Only time and Resonance across differentgeneralization free generalizations context bound experiences, but notare possible hypothesis are generalizable in any prescriptive___________________possible mannerPossibility of Real causes, Mutual Interconnectivity across acausal linkage precedent to or simultaneous variety of constantly shiftingsimultaneous to shaping dynamics within theeffects environmentThe relationship between what is known and who is knowing shifts greatlybetween quantitative or positivistic research, where the two are independent of oneanother. In qualitative and performance research there is a greater interconnectivitybetween the object of knowing and the person. With performative inquiry, however, thereis no object of knowing. Instead, there is a process of knowledge that occurs amongknowers. The process is called interstanding.Subjectivity and objectivity are dealt with differently among the three researchparadigms as well. Performance-based research welcomes subjectivity(ies) of all the cosearchers in the process of coming to know. As such, this view of research critiques the255view taken of positivistic approaches. Quantitative studies believe in a “neutral” and“objective” value system, whereby bias is absent and indeed shunned as devaluing theprocess of investigation. Yet, what is not recognized is that that subjectivity does play arole within positivistic paradigms, through aspects of selection and interpretation ofresults. Qualitative research recognizes that biases are present because investigators are“value-bound” through cultural, sexual, experiential, moral and other aspects of beinghuman. There are efforts made to reduce or explain the influences these values have onthe study in question.The language relied upon differs markedly between qualitative and quantitativeand performance. The two more mainstream research paradigms are word oriented,whereas performance-based research is physically expressive, relying upon bodies inmotion and interaction, as well as the creation of art, music and visual images. Thetension and difficulty that is contained within this project is the shift to words to capturethe breadth of expression that occurred on stage.Methodologically, quantitative design removes the experiment from any sense ofcontext with fixed procedures knowable before the study commences. Qualitativeapproaches emerge from within the field and context within which the investigationoccurs. However, the selection of approaches is limited, i.e., ethnography,phenomenology, case study, biography or narrative, or grounded theory. What shifts arethe nuances within a particular paradigm? Within performative inquiry the process ofresearch is wide open and is based upon a reflective selection and negotiation oftechniques, methods and processes that culminate in something understood only throughreflectively reviewing what has occurred before. The process is full of randomness,chaos, dead ends, straightaways, recursions and many corners. The end point is notknowable until it has occurred. Shifting to prose that suggests linearity and steadyprogression belies what happened within the experience.Generalizability is the focus for quantitative research: the ability to predict andprescribe tendencies across other contexts and times. This is done because of theextraction of the experiment from any fixed situation. Qualitative research doesgeneralize, but this is limited to similar contexts and times, rather than across a variety ofenvironments. Performative inquiry is particular to what occurred within a given place,with a given group over a specified period. At best, what can occur is the idea ofresonance in that there may be echoes of general feeling or identification across contexts,but not in any prescriptive or predicting way. All the performances of Shaken: NotDisturbed... with a twist! occurred within a few months and within the town of Duncan.There were handouts that were given to audience members about what caregivers coulddo to improve the lives of psychiatric survivors and what society could do to give a “handup” to those who are mentally marginalized. This was advice offered by one group, inone moment, in one town. The flyers distributed to the audiences were to spark dialogue,not indicate that all psychiatric survivors wanted the same things.Anecdotally, the breast cancer survivors, who attended the play, came toawareness of what the cast experienced through a shared emotional sense contained in theexperience of medical personnel’s insensitive responses to their illness. This is notgeneralization, but the feelings contained within living with psychiatric disorderresonating with those facing another medical circumstance. Could predictions arise thatsuggest this will always be the case? Not likely.256Lastly, quantitative research is seeking out and isolating cause-and-effectrelationships in order to predict. This is a linear relationship that is suggested to beirrefutable and fixed. Qualitative research shows that the research and participants aremutually affected as a result of the investigation. This relationship shows that there is acloser connection between the investigator and the investigated. Yet, there is still somedistance between the two. With regard to this performative inquiry, everyone whoparticipated was a co-searcher indicating that there was a greater emphasis oncollaboration and sharing of power. As indicated in Part One, this can never be fullyequitable. Within this study, there were interconnections from outside the weekly ritualsof performance that informed what took place inside. The co-searchers are members ofvarious social systems (friends, family, mental health, Open Door, and university in myinstance, and so on). As a result, forces and processes beyond the project continuallyshaped our work.With theoretical assumptions of three key research paradigms reviewed, the nextis the exploration of these same approaches with regard to their dimensions or attributes.Once this canvassing is complete, the shift in this chapter will be to provide an overviewof the remaining sections in Part Two.DIMENSIONS OF METHODOLOGICAL APPROACHESVarious aspects comprise a research project, including: the impulse for the work, context,participants, methods, “data,” language, analysis, results and neutrality among others.Table creates a snapshot of the key issues. Some have been alluded to in the previousdiscussion, so I’ll look at some of the other aspects that Table includes. For example, theimpulse behind an investigation is testing a hypothesis in quantitative work that creates asense of closure through the results, whereas qualitative projects often begin with “how”questions that are open-ended. Performative inquiries often remain open though an initial“what” question and the use of ongoing open-ended probing queries.Subjects within an experimental design are individuals that are amassed aroundmeasures of central tendency. In this environment people are largely objects. Withinqualitative work, individuals are viewed and treated as singular subjects. Each is engagedwith through interviews, but then the narratives become the thing objectified throughmanipulation by the researcher. Performative inquiry views subjects as both independentindividuals and as a collective. Playing with stories also mark this work; however, cosearchers along with the research are engaged in teasing apart and exploring pastexperiences, not the inquirer alone.“Data” in both quantitative and qualitative work is considered to be “collected”through surveys in the former and interviews in the latter. Performative inquiry views thisaspect as constructing and reflectively interpreting stories. In a similar sense, interviewsin qualitative work are created through conversations. The use of sampling is random inquantitative studies and more considered and intentional in qualitative investigations.This performative work had a random group invite the researcher in. Initially, there was abroad advertisement asking for the community to come and find out about a researchprocess. A particular group, that remained opened throughout much of the time, took onthe methodology, rather than the other way around. Results for experimental designs are257Table: A Comparison of Quantitative, Qualitative and Performance-BasedMethodological ApproachesQuantitative Qualitative PerformanceSettings Experimental Everyday setting or Community or group in contextsetting, often is field focused as as conduit for storytelling andremoved from source of data problem posingnatural settingResearch Testing a Open-ended, ask Often stems from current lifeImpulse hypothesis “how” questions. issues, problems or somethingAsking a “why” or The research potentially in the future., ,, . Sometimes a broad whathow much question(s)question as focus change(s) as study question is used to promptof study. proceeds additional open and emergentqueries.Instruments Numbers Researcher as key Performance as key avenue for(statistics) based, instrument of data constructing “data” alongsidei.e., survey, test for collection the researcher; notion of cogathering data searchersSampling Random so as to Purposeful Random from a particular largergeneralize sampling group, but purposeful based oninterest in area of study andnotion of performanceSubject Group, average Individuals Individuals in a group, bothperformance levels are keyData Numbers Words or pictures Bodies in interaction, artprocess and forms,Results Product— e.g. test Outcome as Process toward a performanceperformance process rather than and production itself and theproduct ongoing influences of theproject in a wider sphere(broader community)Analysis Deductive, starts Analysis of data Mapped moments offrom hypothesis inductively, recognition; reflecting backattention to upon stopped moments; openparticulars ended because of continualproblem posing258Quantitative Qualitative PerformanceResearch Determined by Focus on Jointly created among allVantage researcher participant’s participants and researcher; onePoint perspectives and of reciprocity in learning amongtheir meaning allLanguage Scientific, Use of expressive Body language, whole body-objective language mind expressivities; symbolism;metaphorAuthority Statistical Persuasion by Persuasion by emotion,significance reason psychology, story, experiences,questioningTruth Value Internal validity Credibility — Reflections by co-searcherscompatibility post-performance to continuebetween querying into experiences —researcher’s truth is not fixed but continuallyconstructions and open ended and multiplerespondents’ realityCross External validity Transferability — Resonance —Context Generalizability enable researchers Because experiences performedApplicability and practitioners in are of emotional andother contexts to psychological and intuitivemake tentative natures, not looking forjudgments about generalizability orapplicability of transferability but how deeply isfindings story felt in others’ bodies andmindsAbility for Reliability Dependability— the Because every group ofReplication stability of findings individuals is unique, there is noif study repeated, requirement for consistency.coupled with Contrarily, there is a resistanceability to explain to formulaic approaches. Coany variations searchers have to be flexible tocapture uniqueness of eachperformative project. Passage oftime, life and experiences wouldnot create the same performancewith the same group.Neutrality “Objectivity” Confirmability— Subjectivities of all co-searchersproviding sufficient are welcome and encouraged todata-based be present and questioned andevidence to support challenged by the performanceinterpretations group; the group determinesreflective interpretations259products; for qualitative work it’s process as product. With performative inquiry processis most critical with products flowing out of the exploration.The research vantage point is different among the three. Experimenters determinethe perspective, which is usually as strictly an outsider. Qualitatively, the investigator ismost concerned with the participants’ perspective. Performative work brings inquirer andparticipants together to create a group of co-searchers, whereby everyone’s perspective isimportant in order to join in a full conversation.Authority is constructed differently among the three. Performance places greatestfocus on experiences, stories and the emotions and expressions that can be used to evokethese. Qualitatively, the shift is toward a persuasive reasoning through interviews andnarratives that can be generated from these. Quantitatively, authority comes fromstatistical significance, or the strength of the predictive quality of results.Lastly, is the notion of truth-value. The internal validity, or that the resultsquantitatively measure what they say they are, is of prime importance withinexperiments. Qualitatively, the issue is credibility. Are the researcher’s constructions ofparticipants’ experiences, and the meanings evoked, compatible with how members of astudy views them. Performatively, truth-value comes from the reflections from the cosearchers themselves after the performance and as part of the process. Also, truths areneither fixed nor closed. The continual probing that is a central aspect of this workcontinues to keep the work open and tentative.SummaryThis chapter, the first in Part Two, introduced the reader to the more theoreticaldimensions of this thesis. The chapter opens by revisiting the study’s purposes, theintentions, and the initial research question, which propelled this work forward. Initially,the assumptions of three key research paradigms were explored: Positivism, Naturalismand Enactivism. These three are usually carried within Quantitative, Qualitative andPerformative research, respectively. Beyond this canvassing, there is the comparison ofresearch dimensions as these relate to the three approaches previously introduced. Toprepare the reader, the landscape of research is surveyed, notably, the theoreticalscaffolding of mental/disability theory, rural sociology and the interdisciplinarymethodology of performative inquiry were outlined. Lastly, an overview of the flow ofchapters was provided. The next chapter recounts the evolution of how psychiatricsurvivors have been constructed historically through to the present.260IntroductionAPPENDIX BCONSTRUCTIONS OF DISABILITYAND MENTAL DISORDERThe conceptual framework drawn upon within this study was disability theory andnotions of “mental disorder.” Few groups are more stigmatized and excluded fromsociety than psychiatric survivors. For this reason, a review of the constructions ofpsychiatric disorders is required. Also, by understanding the population being explored,the purposes of this study, namely, (i) the disruption of“normal” ways of thinking aboutpsychiatric diversity by challenging prevailing notions of mental “illness” and (ii)creating better relationships between psychiatrically diagnosed and other people can beachieved.This appendix supports the work of this research by exploring the language ofdisability, as well as the nuance and complexity contained in words that attempt tocapture mental diversity. Once the landscape of language is explored, the conceptualframework of psychiatric impairment is put in a form that reflects the evolution of howsociety has constructed “mental difference.” Beginning with moral notions, thediscussion moves to biology, social constructions, embodied disconnections and, lastly,the ideas of citizenship and social minority. Once completed, the next appendix describesthe rural context within which this study resides.A Discussion Of Disability LanguageMany terms emerge within the field of critical disability: disease/illness, impairment,disability and handicap. An outline showing a relationship of key terms of disability aidsin clarifring language, as portrayed by the World Health Organization’s (WHO, 1980):Disease/Disorder-Impairment-Disability-Handicap Model (Figure below). The termsdisease and disorder connect, historically, to someone suffering and is viewed as a“morbid” physical condition (Hoad, 1993, p. 127), or putting out of sequence or“deranged,” in the case of disorder (Hoad, 1993, p. 128).The first label within the World Health Organization’s (1980) model is based inbiology and genetics. The second position in the diagram is impairment. The wordimpairment comes with a pejorative aspect. Etymologically impair means “to makeworse.” This definition remains the central meaning. While having impairment, perhaps,is less derogatory than being diseased, the “problem” continues to reside within one’sbody, not in society or the environment.Disease/Disorder(Interior to body)Figure: The WHO model of disability (WHO, 1980, p. 3).The third category within the WHO model of disability is defined as lacking inability resulting from impairment. This model is based on a model used in vocationalrehabilitation. An arbitrary “normal” range of motion for a particular physical functionImpairment4 (Exteriorized)261evaluates the capability of individuals: below the range one is disabled, above a fixedlevel a person is nonnal. This condition is objectified or something to be disciplined,controlled, measured and changed. This shift moves the process to the final point in themodel.Able-bodied professionals, removed from the experiential world of disabilities,defined key WHO terms. The Union of the Physically Impaired Against Segregation(UPIAS), a group of disabled people in Britain, addressed the ableist bias of theinternational medical model. UPIAS (1976), stated disability as, “the disadvantage orrestriction of activity caused by contemporary social organization which takes no or littleaccount of people who have physical impairments and thus excludes them fromparticipation in the mainstream of social activities” [bolding mine] (DisabilityAwareness in Action, 2005, p. 14). Later, cognitive impairments were included and, morerecently, psychiatric disorders. Doubt remains as to what is meant by disability. Forexample, when Canadians responded to a survey “What is disability?, “they answered inthe following way, “Canadians define the concept of disability in a number of ways, butchiefly in terms of physical handicap (e.g. uses a wheelchair, deaf). Perspectives on thisissue are surprisingly consistent between persons with and without disabilities”(Canadian Mental Health Association, 2004, p. 9).The word patient stems from “bearing or enduring without complaint” (Hoad,1993, p. 340). A patient having a mental disorder is synonymous with “suffering” anillness. More recently, the word consumer describes those patients seeking medical orsocial help. The act of consumption relates to “using up, eating up, or wasting” (Hoad,1993, p. 94). The idea of consumer construes those psychiatrically diagnosed as “usingup” finite professional resources. This view constructs disabled and mentally disorderedindividuals as “drains on society.”The term client, is from the Latin clientem or “a follower or retainer,” asconnected to the verb cluere, meaning, “to listen, follow, obey” (Hoad, 1993, p. 79). Thisdefinition connotes a relationship between care giving, social services and psychiatry (theprotector) with someone as having a disability or mental “illness” (the protected). Aclient, or someone living with mental disorder, is also a problem because of the markingof this relationship with dependency and power differentials. With the advent of thedisability and mental rights movements another term is in vogue (Capponi, 1992, 2003):psychiatric survivor. Originally, the word survivor meant “legal inheritance or thepassing down of benefits,” but the term has been transformed into “living beyond or tolive longer than” (Hoad, 1993, p. 475). Surviving past and current abuses ofdiscriminatory authority and friendship structures, exclusion is the preoccupation ofcritical disability theory. Psychiatric survivors want to reclaim lost roles as full citizenswithin society. Being equal means taking back personal power, voice and identity.Discourses Conceptualizing Mental DiversityIn the discipline of disability, a number of emerging discourses for measuring, containingand constructing the diversity of impairment have developed. Disability discourse andmental disorder theories evolved in approximately the same ways and at the same rate toone another, though with important subtleties between them. To assist, keyconceptualizations appear within a pyramid (on page 263). The lower levels inform thehigher ones. The triangle highlights the chronology of each. Moving from the bottom of262the diagram to the top is a progression away from moral and biological determinism, asmediated by spiritual and medical authorities. Through social construction and embodiedmental disconnection of person-in-environment, the last stage is the idea of survivorshipmoving toward citizenship. The movement upward marks a move away from prescribedand “objective” medical authoritative constructions to subjective senses of existence.AASocial Constructions and Structures-I/SOCIAL CONSTRUCTION MODELBIOLOGICAL - MEDICAL MODELMORAL/CHARACTER FLAW MODELMoral/Biological DeterminismFigure: The evolution and hierarchy of disability discourses.A Question of Morality and/or Character Flaw Model“Insanity is the scourge broughtdown on sinful men by the wrath ofthe Almighty” (George ManBurrows, opening words ofCommentaries on the Causes,Forms, Symptoms, and Treatment,Moral and Medical, of Insanity1828. Quoted in Kraepelin 1918,pages 38- 39And as Jesus passed by, he sawa man, which was blindfrom hisbirth. And his disciples askedhim, saying, Master, who didsin, this man, or his parents,that he was born blind? Jesusanswered, Neither hat/i this mansinned, nor his parents: but thatthe works of God should bemade manfest in him. (John9:1-3)Disability StudiesThe initial model describing impaired people draws from ancient Greco-Roman times,relying on the belief evil spirits and deities existed. Being physically different was seen asstigmata indicating the devil. A malicious spirit was at work (Karp, 1999). During theperiod, no other explanation for physical diversity existed. Marked in such a way wassynonymous with being immoral. Disability theorists suggest this legacy continues(Barton & Oliver, 1997; Shakespeare, 2003). Health is equated with fully functioningCITIZENSHIPEMBODIEDDISCONNECTION263bodies. Able bodies are seen as good, while impaired bodies are viewed as unvalued andunwanted. Religion determined normalcy for bodies and what was required (prayer,“good” deeds, exorcism, spiritual cleansing, penance)(Porter, 1987). Reliance on religionfor determining physical wellness illustrated how bodies were implicated with moralitythrough spirituality.Feminist disability theory includes gender at the intersection of disability andmorality. Being impaired is seen as “not normal.” Through masculinist power structuresand processes constructing women as being “less” and more compliant toward authoritiesthan men, a binary opposition is maintained. Women are viewed as lacking moralstrength and, therefore, prone to mental “failings,” whereas men, who comprise the mostof the psychiatrists, are seen as “normal.” Therefore, they are more likely to bediagnosed with a psychiatric disorder (Chesler, 1972). Also, a propensity exists formental “illnesses” targeting women when no similar “diseases” focus on men. Hysteria,Pre Menstrual Syndrome/Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder (Moynihan & Cassels, 2005)and Borderline Personality Disorders are predominantly something “suffered” (StatisticsCanada, 2002) by women. This stems from the legacy of women constructed as beingprone to the “vapours” and “nerves” (Rosen, 1968, Porter, 1987). Among femalepsychiatric survivors, a double silencing occurs: first, being a woman and, second,diagnosed with a mental disorder. Not having the same physical capabilities as ablestmainstream creates the same for impaired people. Impairment and feminism resist similarlabelling of being “lesser” versions of “normal” (Garland-Thompson, 2003).Ablest “freak shows” have physically impaired people in circus displays. Echoesremain in telethons for impaired people (Bogdan, 1988; Fiedler, 1978; Garland-Thompson, 1996). During telethons, disabled kids are put on display to ‘justify” the“need” to “fix” “abnormal” children. People managing, emceeing and performing irthese productions are usually able-bodied individuals. Stage dressing comes in the formof kids on crutches and wheelchairs. Exoticized bodies are the backdrop. The image isone of the mainstream “helping” disabled others be more “normal” through fundraising.The “plight” of “abnormal” children is to be pitied.Mental Disorder as Moral “Problem”Two concepts co-exist when discussing moral notions of mental disorder. The firstconcerns lived experience, the second the non-material experience of values, beliefs andemotions. The “Great Confinement” Foucault (1965) described, took place from the late1 600s to the mid 1 900s, when “madness” was constructed as something one“transmitted” into the broader society. There was a need to quarantine the “pathogen” ofmental “illness” from the general “healthy” public. Early historical constructions ofmental difference included a person “touched” by a god (a divine and good thing), or“possessed” by evil spirits because of a poor or weak moral character (a bad thing)(Janssen-Cilag, 2002; Jimenez, 1987; MacDonald, 1983; Rosen, 1968). Religious leadersused witch trials, burnings and purges, to rid bodies of evil.Much deviance theory, exemplified by Lemert (1972) and Becker (1993), as wellas Goffman’s (1959, 1986) “spoiled identity,” builds on equating “normal” with being“morally right.” Labelling theories of deviance suggest people choose to be different as ameans to escape restrictions of normativity. When a choice is not socially acceptable, it is264pushed into the margins (Wasserman, 2001). These people, proponents of deviancetheory would argue, “deserve” to be on the “outside.”Able-bodied people see individuals, with observable physical conditions, ashaving less choice in being disabled, so are viewed most compassionately, without stigma(for example, Rick Hansen). Those with intellectual disabilities are believed to be “lesslegitimate” because their disability is worrying and largely invisible. The level of“problem” cannot be known to the same degree as physical disability. Perhaps the personis “faking.” At the bottom of the disability hierarchy, the last social taboo is psychiatricdisability (Environics Research Group, 2004). Psychiatrically diagnosed individuals’situations are believed “invisible,” not knowable and preventable. The person is said to“fake” something avoidable, even if it is socially constructed. People can choose, thethinking goes, to not live with mental disorder or drug addiction. Because of “weak wills”or “poor morals” survivors choose not to “buck up” and “be strong.” They choose the“easy” way out (Ravaud & Stiker, 2001). Mental disorder is something voluntarilyentered.A Question of Biology and GeneticsI promise To avoid violating the morals of my community. (from amodem version of the Hippocratic Oath vowed by doctors enteringpractice) (Lasagna, 1964).“... modern psychiatry has yet to convincingly prove the genetic/biologiccause ofany single mental illness.” (Kaiser, 1996) Commentary: AgainstBiologic Psychiatry, Psychiatric Times.Disability Theory and “Broken Bodies”There have always been people in charge of “fixing” bodies. From earliest times, thefocus was on alleviating pain and curing illness. By creating standards ofphysicalnormalcy, all bodies continue to be under scrutiny to determine the “fitness” of eachindividual’s physicality as measured against arbitrary measures. If an individual did notcontinue to be “average,” repair regimes were instituted. Further, to be seen as“abnormal” was also viewed as being in pain (Smith & Erevelles, 2004). The archetypeof this model is the “suffering patient.” Something separate but attached to one’s body isa construction of physical impairment.Attempts were made to “breed” out physical impairments from the gene pool inorder to keep the human race “healthy,” “whole” and “able.” Through geneticpurification efforts, came protocols for quarantining, sterilization and hybridization,dissuading impaired people from having children, selective abortions, assisted suicideand mercy killing (Garland-Thompson, 2002). Many of these topics continue to becontentious and unresolved today.Controlling, through treatments, also served to medically colonize bodies andtheir performances by “experts” (Hahn, 2005b). Monitoring one’s physicality alsocontains what can and cannot be admitted as part of one’s identity (Garland-Thompson,1999). Psychiatrists want to “fix” impairments. What is often not recognized is this alsoserves as an erasure of someone’s identity. This approach to medicine creates the“medicalization of life” (Illich, 1 975b). Fixing bodies to arbitrary ideas of normalcy265equalling-health-and-beauty creates intolerance of physical and mental diversity (Barnes& Mercer, 2001; Shakespeare & Corker, 2002). Impairment, under this model, residessolely within the individual. Further, this view holds society does not restrict freedoms ofimpaired people. As a result, sole responsibility rests with the disabled person for his orher impairment.Medical Model and Mental “Capacity”The notion of biology as being the stable, fixed cause for mental “illness” places the rootsource in one’s body or brain. The language of mental “illness” comes from this model.The belief relating to mental functioning of psychiatric survivors being different arisesthrough the theory of atavism (or brains regressed to an earlier evolutionary stage thathave criminal and animalistic attributes). The search, beginning in early history, was for“brain lesions,” or markers of difference needing repair. The belief was mending one’sbrain normalized thinking. The appearance of a mental disorder medical model beganduring the late 18th1 century (Sabbatini, 1997). In the late 19th century an earlypsychiatrist, Emil Kraepelin (1856-1926), (Engstrom, 1997) explored the pattern-recognition classification of mental disease symptoms, including dementia praecox(forerunner of schizophrenia) and manic-depressive psychosis (now bipolar disorder). Hisclassification system became the foundation for the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual(DSM) created by the American Psychiatric Association in the mid twentieth century.Natural Science For “Fixing” Mental IdentityThe first interest in exploring the cause of mental “illness” emerged when medicine andthe mental asylum converged, thus allowing for the emergence of psychiatry in the 1 840sand 1 850s. Drawing on natural and medical science to explain “mental illness” remains aproblem for psychiatric medicine. In the opening days of institutional psychiatry, theprofession saw physical medicine as a quick route to legitimacy (Porter, 2002). Secondly,an area of interest was the monopoly over particular knowledge for maintaining powerand to raise its authority within society’s view (Foucault, 1965; Rosen, 1968). Thisinfluence became secured in the 1950s when the first psychotropic drugs were developed.Psychiatrists demanded being the only profession with sole responsibility foradministering these powerful and toxic substances because they held the medical trainingin physical healing of mental processes. This marked the beginning of pharmaceuticalcompanies’ profitable relationship with psychiatry.After the First World War, thousands of soldiers returned exhibiting emotionaltroubles and “abnormal” behaviours (Jones & Wessely, 2000). With the earlier work ofKraepelin and the emergence of “new” mental “illnesses,” the work of cataloguingsymptoms under pseudo scientific names generated authority and legitimacy for thefledgling field of psychiatry. Discussions of mental conditions connected to notions ofphysical wellness and illness. With the insistence of psychiatry, this idea of (ab)normalcydrew from biological medicine.Mental health is couched within a positivist medical model. Physical medicine isbased on what can be empirically verified. Psychiatrists, trained in physical medicine,believed the same applied to mental medicine (Porter, 1987, 2002). With visible braindamaged regions not reliable signifiers of illness, psychiatrists depend on other“evidence.” These “markings” are observable symptoms presented as objective “fact” to266themselves and outsiders. Where symptoms cannot be measured, psychiatrists rely on“clinical judgment” (Ingleby, 1981). While these opinions are rooted in professionalpractice, they also envelope subjective cultural and social realities as well. Psychiatristsare predominantly white, straight, well educated, older, upper-socio-economic classedmen having power over clients who are generally younger, culturally diverse, lowersocio-economic classed women (Caplan, 1995; Schernhammer, 2005). Szasz (1997),further, points out psychiatrists have among the highest rates for suicide and because ofthis he continues his call for abolishing psychiatry.Professional perceptions are based on two operations working at the same time: 1)matching catalogued symptoms to a person’s behaviour and 2) there is no known, logicaland understandable (to the psychiatrist) reason for the behaviour (Rosenberg, 1992). Ifthe awareness of the cause for observable behaviour is detectable and the reasons madesense to the psychiatrist, then the individual is confused. If a perceived “illogical” reasonfor the behaviour exists, then a person is deemed mentally unsound. With these mentaldoctors as social and normative gatekeepers for the mainstream, psychiatry operates asnorm police with monopoly powers granted by the state (Fougeyrollas & Beauregard,2001).For many reasons, including those just cited, two people with comparablesymptoms can have completely different diagnoses. Moreover, through time these labelscan shift. What medical professionals fail to take into account is that with each label,there is a key shift to that person’s self-concept and how society views him or her.Continually re-diagnosing results is re-labelling a person’s public and private identities.This constant shifting adds to the emotional and psychological disconnection of anindividual from self-concept. Unreliability of diagnoses was reflected among this study’scast. The length of time to receive a diagnosis ranged from a few months to several years.Recently one individual’s diagnosis evolved. After ten years with a label ofschizophrenia, a change was made to manic depression. The most noted researchfindings, with regard to the lack of ability for properly diagnosing mental “illness,” werewithin the Rosenhan (1973) study, when eight (three women!five men) mentally“normal” adults spent several weeks in mental hospitals undetected.Medical Diagnoses Create Mental Identity LabelsMedical discourses are central to the way mentally disordered people understand“illness” and they incorporate doctors’ advice to “correct” or “normalize” one’s disabledbody, brain and perspective. Often, the “illness” diagnosis reduces the person to the labelof disorder, as in the schizophrenic or the manic depressive. All behaviour is viewed asdiseased through the lens of mental “illness.” Secondly, a book of symptoms isinterchangeably thought of as a compendium of causes, the Diagnostic and StatisticalManual (now in its fourth and textual revision — DSMIV-TR) (Task Force on DSM-IV,2000). These disorders or clusters of symptoms are often defined through committees.Because of a lack of a cause-cure relationship and the artifice of disorders’ constructions,the politics and use of power to veto or accept diagnoses is common and contentious(Caplan, 1995).A mental health professional stated during an interview with me that psychiatristsare more accountable now with the notion of “informed consent” (Interview 25, Doc).However, a problem is raised as to how individuals, particularly within the complexity of267mental medicine, can truly enter any medical agreement in an informed manner. Usuallythose individuals giving “informed” consent are those with: low self-esteem, social andcultural capital, lower education levels, lack of information and less power relative to apsychiatrist. Also, informed consent is often asked while someone is already on powerfuldrugs. Included with this dilemma is coercive power signified by a psychiatrist’s abilityto prescribe or withhold psychotropic drugs and other treatments. Also, theseprofessionals can “wield” the power of diagnosis or labelling. When patients demandability to control, monitor, or change treatment, the label assigned to such behaviour isone of non-compliance or resistance. The expectation is one of quiet obedience, in orderto let the expert (subject) work on the “broken” patient (object). Any system with such apower difference cannot be equitable and does not take into consideration identities,voices, or power of those being manipulated.“Chip: I get the feeling as a client that sometimes that um — that they[psychiatrists] treat us like we ‘re like chattel — like you ‘re an invest— like a like a — like a money in the bank or something — you ‘re likeah you ‘re like ah— a do — an investment portfolio sort of thing —the client is —Sidney: okayChip: and this is how a lot ofthe mental health clientsfeel this way — thatthey [clients] are- that they are being treated like urn aninvestment portfolio for the worker” (Client Audience Member,Interview 3, p. 1).“If you ‘re rnental and poor you go to Riverview to be given drugs; jfyou ‘re rich and mental you go to Switzerland and are spoken to bysomeone. If you are poor and mental you ‘re crazy; if you ‘re rich andmental, you are eccentric” (Cary, Interview 10, p. 4).The practice of psychiatrists (and all doctors) receiving “payments” or bonusesfor prescribing particular medications (Eichenwald & Kolata, 1999; Jureidini &Mansfield, 2001) is commonly reported. Besides psychotropic drugs, a plethora ofmedications for side effects are dispensed. It might be argued that the spiralling out ofcontrol of prescribing drugs takes on the form of a frantic (absurd!) search to construct“normalcy.”Social Constructionist ModelOur experiences must be expressed in our words and integrated in theconsciousness of mainstream society, and this goes against theaccumulated sediment of a social world that is steeped in the medicalmodel ofdisability” (Brisenden, 1986, p. 174).Disability Theory ‘s ConstructionsThe previous two stages, morality and biology, place the responsibility for impairmentand disability within the bodies and lives of those individuals “containing abnormalcy.”268In those two notions, the construction of mental “difference” is carried out by atraditional able-bodied mainstream toward and on those not seen to be physically andmentally whole. Socially constructing impairment, as disability, stems from earlytheoretical discussions of Oliver (1983). The embodiment of disability is a reminder interms of ablest constructions being fragile and impermanent. Disability theorists wroteabout social negotiations of disability for about 30 years, but this thinking entered theacademic mainstream within the last 10 years. The concept of “disability” is less aboutthe physical understanding of a person’s biology or genetics. Rather, the term points tosociety’s blocking an impaired person from achieving full potential because of socialdiscrimination and repression based on a narrow definition of able-bodiedness (Garland-Thompson, 2002).People and institutions render disabled individuals powerless because of distastefor diversity in physical and mental living. This third stage within the model is tied to acapitalist system valuing “whole” bodies capable of engaging in physical labour in orderto produce and more recently, consume (Oliver, 1990). Employment under capitalism is,therefore, equated with human worth. Tied to this system are credentials. This involveseducation. Both avenues of activity are largely foreclosed to impaired people. As a result,impaired individuals are doubly disabled. When employment options are restrictedthrough mainstream prejudice, impaired people are blocked by ableist attitudes, policies,rules and architectures (Hahn, 2005b).Theorists speak of physical impairments and attitudes towards deaf, blind andmobility-impaired individuals. Some theory relates to learning impairment, but withindisability theory passing references to mental disorder are more standard. Brief mentionusually involves listing descriptions of disabled people. Then descriptors like “crazy, madand lunatic” are raised, more for emotional impact than meaningful engagement withmental diversity (Garland-Thomson, 2002). The relative silence of mental disorder withindisability discourse is about the relatively pronounced difference between physicalmedicine and the arcane world of psychological functions. To breach the gap withindisability theorization, mental disorder theorists, have started to construct their view ofthe world through barriers “sane” people impose.Disabled people experience under- or unemployment to a much greater level thanthe broader population because of employer attitudes (being reflective of the larger able-centric mainstream) and the construction of paid employment. Should disabled peoplebecome employed; however, their jobs are largely in the “Four Fs” (fast food, filthlnightcleaner/janitorial, flowers/yard work, or folding/housekeeping) (Smart, 2001, p. 35)where the pay is usually minimum wage. Within employment for Open Door membersthe work included: being furniture movers, street cleaners and farm work. Psychiatricallydisabled people are removed from the general public and their work hours are usuallyshifts in the early morning or through the night away from the public. Because of theseprevailing attitudes and the reduced likelihood of receiving well-paid employment,disabled people are among the poorest in the general population (Statistics Canada,2002a).The social division of labour is a key criterion for inclusion and exclusion withina capitalist society (Ravaud & Stiker, 2001). Much of one’s identity is tied to paidemployment and, through this, to consumption. Because many clients in the mentalhealth system do not, cannot, or are not allowed to work, social workers have opted for a269new label. This is a reason why people using the mental health system are now, at times,referred to as “consumers.”Disability theorists ask the question, “Why does employment have to becomesuch a focus for humanity? (Taylor, 2004). Why can’t there be a right ... not to work?”Sentiments like this do not mean impaired people cannot contribute. Added value willnot take the traditional form. Options exist. Being able to live unimpeded is enough forsome, volunteering is an option for others, creating art, teaching, or indeed working areavenues as well. What needs to be accepted is the impaired individual’s right to choose.Why does it feel like no choice exists? The suggestion within this model is the economicsystem needs amending in order to open up possibilities for disabled people and for thoseliving in diverse ways.Constructing In/SanityGiven the limitations of medical and moral models’ narrow approach to a “damagedbody,” a new conceptualization emerged during the 1 960s and 1 970s that was calleddeinstitutionalization (Grob, 1991). Hundreds of thousands of hospital and asyluminmates were released on to the streets of North America. This signified the shift of themental health industry’s construction from illness to disorder. Forms of psychology,which were grounded within community living, emerged through mental healthprofessionals’ belief that living among “normal” people was more beneficial than beingisolated from society. However, social models largely discounted the physical presenceof the body, preferring to leave the material individual untouched. Rather, this beliefsystem limited the theorizing of bodies as existing in abstracted space, leaving one’sphysical wholeness outside of any analysis of mental disorder. The body is spoken aboutrather than through or in.Social responses reflect society’s values with regard to the way disabled peopleare responded to. Rituals, as set by institutional rules and regulations, reflect thedemeaning and objectifying valuations of disability as barrier, while limiting apsychiatrically diagnosed person from achieving full potential. Taken-for-grantedattitudes and responses of institutions reinforce the “naturalness” and everydayness ofsuch relationships. Cultures conceive mental disorder differently across historical periodsand over time spans. A greater likelihood exists for people from lower socio-economicclasses becoming labelled as being mentally “different.” Mental “illnesses” are believedto be, more commonly, problems relating to women, lesbigays, poor people and racialminorities (Chesler, 1972; Geller & Harris, 1994).Survivors of medical and social welfare systems are required to live within anenvironment where someone with a mental disorder is assumed to have a sound andsavvy knowledge of shifting, complicated and overlapping benefit payments. Thesebureaucratic processes are about pushing out rather than inclusion. The result is when anindividual navigates welfare successfluly, the “reward” is to exist on less than $10,000 ayear, after being rendered penniless through depleting all available personal financialresources first (Government of British Columbia, 2005). Social assistance, as it ismaintained in British Columbia, is part of the handicapping barriers faced by psychiatricsurvivors. Because of the constant difficulty of mainstream hurdles, a disabled personmay reject an entire service network. This rejection eliminates the ability to obtainneeded support. This refusal compounds oppressive existence. In Canada, it is estimated270200,000 people are homeless and of those, 60% live with substance addictions and/ormental disorder (Intraspec, 2005). I draw on elements of both Toronto’s Report Card onHomelessness (City of Toronto, 2004) and the Golden Task Force’s (City of Toronto,1999) recent reports on Toronto’s homeless situation as the definition:“...those who are visible on the streets or staying in hostels, the hiddenhomeless, who live in illegal or temporary accommodation and those atrisk of soon becoming homeless (2004, p.2)... and who “spend most oftheir income on rent and those who live in overcrowded, substandardconditions” (1999, p. 1).Mental illness stigma is a “normal” perception of unexpected behaviour of peoplewith psychiatric disabilities. Stereotypes are learned expectations shared by manymembers in a social group, because this is an efficient way of categorizing people(Goffman, 1986). This combination supports the behaviour of enforcing boundaries. Theresult is an individual, so bounded, being disabled. Labelling is believed to be moreimportant in determining rejection and limitations than behaviour (Lemert, 1972).Increasing research shows disabled people experiencing handicapping discriminationregardless of their actions. Further exploration is required into interactions within socialrelationships that open up the complex and complicated dynamics of prejudice between“dissed” capability and “normal” ability.BioPsychoSocial Model of “Embodied Disconnection”The fourth stage in the model is waiting to be explored more fully by disability theorists(McKay, 2005). Mentally embodied disconnection depicts an interactivity of individualsas part of a context. This performativity identifies a gap within disability theory needinginvestigation. What occurs between the individual behaving in a particular way and thereading and interpreting of his/her actions by others? How, in the space between doer andobserver, does perception of mental disorder arise? In keeping with the enactivist roots ofperformative inquiry, the biopsychosocial or mentally embodied disconnection modelexamines the complexity of what occurs between disabled and abled bodies interacting.The metaphor used to describe this model is “social stranger.” Two or more peopleinteracting may “read” the actions of another as unfamiliar or strange. Externalbehaviours are equated with an individual’s mental functioning. The result of this isexclusion or further alienation of impaired bodies by the so-called able-bodied, thusserving to heighten strangeness.How are bodies read during interactions of (dis)abled people? What knowledgeunfolds between bodies interacting? Meanings are understood to emerge in theinteractions between bodies, not within them. The biopsychosocial model is about relyingon the total environment, including all individuals. Attempts are made to make visible thetaken-for-granted worlds of one fixed notion of ability and the barriers betweenindividuals, regardless of capability (Hahn, 2005b). Meaning affects and informs actions;actions inform meanings as they emerge. Neither a person alone, nor the thing itselfcreates meaning. Each person in society remains connected in order to co-create ourworlds through the interactions of others. Social dynamics are visible as bodies engagetogether performing their roles, fears, understandings and prejudices. This modeltheorizes the attitudes supporting discriminatory acts when the invisible influence of271power and interests are conjured. Within this model, when a “normally” bodied personinteracts with an “abnormally” bodied person, the disabled individual is often put in aposition of placating and calming the discomfort of the “normal” person viewingimpairment (Shakespeare, 2001). The stranger is called on to soothe the fears of afamiliar other. Rarely is attention given to assuage any discomfort the disabled personmay have when seeing someone differently abled. Moving beyond the impairment ordisability relationship outlined earlier, the embodied disconnection moves theconceptualization to the disability/handicap relationship of the WHO continuum.Disability is about barriers placed in the way of physically impaired people whereashandicap is what results through (dis)abled bodies interacting. Why does prejudicepersist? This is the project of exploration within mentally embodied disconnection.What remains to be seen is how mental disorder and disability theory will interactwhen faced with one another. So far, they remain in somewhat separate bodies of writing,though loosely connected under the larger umbrella of medical sociology. An opportunityexists to connect disability, mental disorder and deviance theories in more integratedways. These conceptions are in different places in their evolution. A dance of interactionto better learn, create new awareness and knowledge is not fully developed, but is whatthis research moves toward.Mentally Embodied DisconnectionEmbodied disconnection models of mental disorder do not rely on medical or socialconceptualizations alone. Rather, the focus is on the physical and “in-presence”interaction between these two notions (Figure below). Writings involving psychiatricdisability— •Habitus A — Economic, social,family, employment, age, gender,ethnicityInternal aspectsof biology, pastexperiences,personality,emotion,spiritualityPERSON A‘Overlappinghabitus andenvironmentsSpace ofinteractionOverlappingenvironments—‘Habitus B — Economic, social, family,employment, age, gender, ethnicityi Internal aspectsof biology, pastexperiences,personality,L emotion,spiritualityI PERSON BPerson B as part of environmentObservations/FeedbackPerson A as part environment !—— —— • rr.Figure: The embodied disconnection perspective of mental disorder.272are often dismissive or silencing of complex life experience and the interplay ofimpairment in the lives of individuals. Handicaps, or the barriers imposed by others, aresigns of identity construction through othering processes. Contexts and environmentscontaining acting bodies and diverse relationships are one complete piece of experienceinforming all the parts within the whole. Individuals will interact with surface impairmentas a personal tragedy or “lack” being interpreted as limitation, rather than see a wholeindividual. Physical reactions to disabled people are often reactive and spontaneous,indicating unconscious learning.Embodied disconnection is about the lack of resonance when more than onehabitus overlaps (Bourdieu, 1990, 2001), or the everyday performance of one’s identityand physical presence out of synch with another’s. A person’s lifeworid is made up ofunthinking habit and practice, in addition to psychology, environment, material living andthe structures of broader society. Social experience of interaction is informed andconstructed by non-disabled bodies and their presumed logical minds. Those individualsnot fitting within these relatively narrow notions, as experienced through embodiedinteractions, become disconnected. The habitus of each participant do not overlap or bejoined in emergent and generative awareness. Because of taken-for-granted “normal”bodies, usual modes of movement, speech, or verbal communication are misunderstoodand ignored when disability presence is included. Bodies of “outsiders” literally “disappear,” being destroyed as a subject (Edwards & Imrie, 2003). In order to be labelled asa social stranger, an observer “deciphers” another’s body-in-action and evaluatesbehaviour based on his or her past experiences and notions of expectancy. Because normsare socially referenced, all are human inventions. The notion of “deviation” or mental“difference” must also be considered socially derived.Interactions, with mentally disordered individuals, throw open the inherentinstability of the embodied self. Margins of a given society define the limits of the centre.Perceived disability also interrupts the status quo of beauty, health, normal, fitness,competence and intelligence. Bodies are signifiers of internal realities and externalinteractions. Representational structures, in turn, co-create experience (Edwards & Imrie,2003). Disability is a way of both signifring and locating relationships of power; the tworeside in and through bodies and within the creases of physical interactions.Handicapping others implicates human interdependence. The need for support is includedwithin discourses of individual mental freedoms and senses of self.Bourdieu (1990, 2001) claimed the body is a bearer of value in society.Physicality and its social location are interrelated. They create a need to manage the bodyas a means for acquiring status and distinction. An individual can be read and understoodwithin and through habitus. One’s system of interaction integrates with other individuals’biases and ignorance within the broader interaction environments. This creates performedsocial (in)equalities. Disconnection is the act of one’s body being transformed by beingmisread within society or where an individual is constructed as disabled. This mismatchultimately creates a handicap for the impaired person within a society. This result isachieved through the attitudes and interactive routines defining normalcy. The body is areceptacle and advertisement to others of valued and unvalued social meanings. Withdisability, the body’s power to be a symbol is misread and changed into somethingdevalued.. .unknowable. . . .unwanted. The capacity for language and embodied awarenessis contained within one’s physicality. How an individual creates symbols to carry273meaning within an interaction is confined by strength, capabilities and flexibility oflimbs, for example. The theory of practice espoused by Bourdieu (1990, 2001) deniessocial applications are understood in terms of objective laws or as the result of“independent subjective decision making of free human beings.” Practice revolvesaround habitus, or the ways a body develops through rituals used, in return, for relatingwithin broader socio-economic environments and relationships. Habitus mediates the linkbetween embodied social action and the physicality of body.When a person is psychiatrically diagnosed, an embodied disconnection occurs sopractices, at times, have to be re(learned) in a more intentional way. Physical dispositionsare not determined by the habitus, but through relationships among interactingenvironments. Priority of actions, use of space, importance placed on individualsinteracting and intended objectives: these are dynamic organizing principles configuringparticular categories of social practices. These, in turn, ascribe values to certain socialpractices and forms of embodiment and are in a sense the objective structures ofBourdieu’s world (Edwards & Imrie, 2003). The body is inscribed with values related tosocial fields it comes in contact with. Symbolizing practices implicate social location andmaterial inequalities. Individuals are sites of physical capital, or bodies being recognizedas possessing value in social settings.Physical capital connects to the conversion of bodily status into other forms ofcapital such as economic, cultural and social (Serageldin & Grootaert, 2000). Dominantclasses, because of their greater access to and possession of cultural and social capital,have the ability to define their bodies as superior and others unlike theirs, (morally)inferior. Habitus is a source of symbolic value or the physical and cognitive assumptionssupporting achieving levels of prestige and/or status (Bourdieu 1990). Social tastesestablish attainment of bodily value, authority and status. These perspectives categorizedisabled people’s bodies as “wretched” and “abnormal” or bodies without value. Fordisabled people, their bodies are usually understood, symbolically, as deviating from thenorm or where impairment is perceived as a threat. Disabled people are read as“outsiders” or symbolic “others.”For many disabled people, their lives and bodily identity are perceived as naturaland normal, particularly if, for example, impairment occurred at birth. For thosediagnosed with a mental disorder, an extended time is involved to grow accustomed tothis newly acquired label and what it means. In time, many come to understand theirmental diversity as a source of pride, health and natural being. Where the oppressivenature of the social world is hidden or not, an individual comes to understand one’s selfas being influenced through interactive (de)valuations. This is symbolic violence or “abody of knowledge enticing those people dominated to contribute to their owndomination by tacitly accepting the limits assigned to them” (Edwards & Imrie, 2003;Kelly, 2001). Symbolic violence is at the heart of each social relation dismissing, erasing,silencing, or in some way negating the identity or autonomy of one of the individualsengaging in an exchange. This intrusion is something often affecting those with mentaldisorder or disconnection (Bourdieu, 1977).Objectified identity illustrates culture’s ability to encode in, on or through thebody. The power of habituation derives itself from the role of physicality within thebroader social organization of labour, life and social relationships (Barnes & Mercer,2001; Pescosolido, 2001; Turner, 2001). The cultural coding of disability often renders274the disabled body as broken, incompetent, powerless and dependent (or withoutsubjectivity). Such notions reflect the context-specific interrelationships between bodilyexpression, social structure and potential for personal power. Disabled people’s bodiesare subjected to the values of a society rendering them ‘less than valuable’ (Gill, 2001;Turner, 2001).This is the social and cultural signification envisioned by habitus. Disabledpeople’s experiences of the mainstream reinforce their marginality and inferior status insociety. An understanding of such marginality is hindered by disability theories driven bydivisions and differences. Disability is often characterized as either a product ofbiological deficiency or the result of socially constructed forms of disadvantage ratherthan the relationships between the two and what goes on within the cleft of experience.According to Bourdieu (1977, p.81), “to act is to act with a structured body which hasincorporated the pervasive structures of a given world or particular parts of that world.”A need to bring bodies back in or to recognize how concrete practices “produce and givea body its place in everyday life” arises (Turner, 2001, p. 255) in interaction.During the 1 990s, as more mentally diverse individuals gathered in crowded, rundown boarding houses, or on the streets, an evolution toward a movement, reminiscent ofearly feminist and gay liberation thinking, emerged. A prime focus was to reinvent wordsdescribing people having lived in asylums, now slowly making productive lives forthemselves in (non)disabled communities — survivor proud CITIZEN! Itis the emergent sense of pride informing the final model.Disability Studies: Shifting from Illness to Survival... .and PrideIn a spirit of mutual cooperation, MindFreedom leads a nonviolentrevolution offreedom, equality, truth and human rights that unites peopleaffected by the mental health system with movements for justiceeverywhere. [Mission Statement of MindFreedom, 20031Minority Status For Disabled CitizensIn order to gain full acceptance, disability theorists moved toward the notion of minoritystatus. Drawing on the shifts and successes of women, sexual minorities, Blacks and FirstNations, a push toward the co-creation of disability as a distinct social group gatheredmomentum. A road emerged toward a critical goal of being a fully integrated and valuedcitizen (Garland-Thompson, 1999). Focus is placed less on being happy with handoutsfor subsistence living, while the traditionally able social world remains unaffected. Theshift is to move discussions of “impaired” individuals away from mainstream language.Marginalization stems from terms including “accommodations” (meaning asking to beallowed to fit in to the able world), “special interests” and “special needs” (meaningdemanding fundamental human rights relating to becoming engaged and free citizens)(Barnes & Mercer, 2001). Drawing on earlier social movements, disabled people nowstruggle to find minority recognition fitting their experiences. Each of these social groups(lesbian and gay communities, women’s groups and Black people) has their own culture,symbols, use of language and understanding of mainstream constructions of them.The recognition of minority cultures and identities relating to impairment alsomoves disabled people from “deviant” and “special” to being “ordinary and everyday.”275This is important for political and legal reasons (Hahn, 2005a). Politically, having anaccepted and fuily integrated minority identity is needed to create easier attachment to themainstream. Those identities remaining marginalized and less attached to the status quocan swing between being an “outlaw” and law-abiding citizen depending on the timesand circumstances. Acceptance is contingent on prevailing attitudes over time. Havingfull citizenship ingrained in society is important for validation, acceptance, integrationand legal protections.By granting integration and acceptance, the minority culture of disability will beable to inform, subvert and broaden broader society’s narrow notions relating tonormalcy, beauty, ability and citizenry (Shakespeare, 2001). By breaching previouslyheld notions of disability and citizen, the newly constructed minority status also affectsrepressions carried out by various institutions. These organizations have as their implicitmandate the maintenance of order according to prevailing notions of acceptability andnormalcy. Social agencies come under pressure to change, be more inclusive or berendered irrelevant. Issues of disability, under right of citizenship, can potentiallychallenge social institutions to acknowledge and respond to meet disabled people’sdemands and needs. By directing institutions to change and be more inclusive, society,itself, will change its own narrow views of ability, beauty and normalcy. Disabilitybecomes a human diversity issue rather than a “special needs” accommodation.The tensions within this model, under the umbrella of “impairment,” are a varietyof existential situations (Hahn, 2005a): blindness (partial or complete), deafness (partialor complete), paraplegia, quadriplegia, learning disabilities and autism. Each of these hasits own way of interacting with the world stemming from whatever impairment eachindividual lives with (Shakespeare, 2003). In the case of deafness, there is a sense this isnot impairment at all, but a cultural identity (Shakespeare & Corker, 2002). Conflating allof these groups into one is an uneasy and unlikely fit. Past experiences of the gay rights,women’s and Black movements suggest this will be the case within the diversity ofdisabled people. Each source of impairment creates a uniqueness others do not possess,so each will lobby and push for interests not necessarily relevant to other collectives ofimpaired individuals.From Survivor To Mental Minority CitizenThe metaphor for the Citizenship Model is one of “survivor as citizen.” Manypsychiatrically diagnosed individuals faced death but remain alive. Also, the wordsurvivor is chosen because of its non-medical reference (Capponi, 2003). This marks thebeginning of the re-symbolization of language and symbols to depict and constructmental “illness.”During the 1950s through to 1980s various identity movements emerged assertingtheir rights to equal citizenship status and legitimacy of their identities. Various disabilitygroups (people who were Blind, Deaf, Quadriplegic, Paraplegic, or having LearningImpairments) were working toward their own assertion of rights and freedoms, notablythe deaf rights movement (this group doesn’t see deafness as an impairment, but as aculture) in the 1970s and 1980s. Psychiatrically disabled people develop a shared,alternative culture ignored by the mainstream. Rather than visualize a person as disabledor mentally disordered, survivors critique the notion of “handicap,” imposed by ableistsociety, as barriers to those not fitting prevailing ideas of “normal” mental life (Davis,2762001). Theories of survival focus on the stares of the status quo and how these reflect akey experiential restriction they have to live under: the disciplinary and ignorant stare ofable society. Comments, such as the following from an audience member from the mainproduction (who also happens to be a local mental health services board member) arosefollowing the show:“... it was great seeing people from the community that I deal within other ways— do things I might never have imagined they coulddo” (Sally, Interview 19, p.5).Of all the models described, the Citizenship Model is the one coming closest tothe two-pronged approach. The first approach is the development of a unique sub-culturalidentity and “society” for psychiatric survivors. The second one is to work from insidethe mental mainstream to transform current systems and structures to be more inclusiveof mentally diverse people through broadening the meaning of normalcy. The wordcitizen is increasingly being raised among psychiatrically impaired individuals as alegitimate and overdue goal. Rather than a “disease,” “condition,” or “disorder” needingto be managed, survivors are reclaiming their full right to citizenship through this broadideology. Labels of control are increasingly hostile and insensitive to survivors (the BCgovernment’s attack on disabled people through a review resulting in a lot of distresswithin the psychiatric community, but minimal cost savings is a recent example) (Roman& Salmon, 2003; Zingaro & Tom, 2003). The citizenship idea seeks to change orundermine the continued unquestioned authority of the psychiatric profession and themental health system as the system every other aspect of society has to conform(Gorman, 2000).Within this paradigm, survivors advocate user-led research. Many findingthemselves the object of study, view researchers as just another psychiatrist with power(Beresford & Walicraft, 1997). To move clients into a co-researcher or sole investigatorallows the generation of power over how mental diversity is considered and portrayedwhile being a large step to reclaiming individual senses of identity and autonomy.Disability studies refuses to rely on the medicalization of handicap, focussing instead onthe social, cultural and political significance of living with impairment (Gill, 2001).Central to the work is the notion of “normal.” Within an ableist mainstream, normal isequated with being fully physically and mentally human (Linton, 1998; Simmie & Nunes,2001). The right to self-definition is a struggle when this is done against ongoingconceptions of the medical community’s statistical and empiricist norms.SummaryThis appendix supports the study’s purposes by disrupting “normal” ways of thinkingabout psychiatric diversity by challenging prevailing notions of mental “illness” andfinding ways to create better relationships between psychiatrically diagnosed and otherpeople. The most prevalent conception of mental disorder remains the medical model;the least considered is construction of disabled people as a minority group. The commonexperience is the long history of sequestering, torture, violence, stigma, erasure, poverty,isolation, marginalization and dehumanizing abuse. For many, what was thought to belost in history continues as part of experience into the present day. Abusive actionscarried out within societies and by medical communities are often ignored by the277mainstream. Rather than work toward equal social status and full integration, disabledpeople are expected to remain dependent on the mainstream because, it might besuggested, whole industries of able-bodied people (medical, social services, educationand justice) are reliant on the existence of disabled people. In order to continue theinterdependence of charity and handouts, many disabled people believe this relationshipof disempowerment will continue, rather than supportive hand-ups into society.We are often told that the poor are grateful for charity. Some of them are,no doubt, but the best amongst the poor are never grateful. They areungrateful, discontented, disobedient, and rebellious. They are quite rightto be so” (Oscar Wilde, 1892).Perceived and treated as being from the “outside,” yet linked in complexinterrelationships from within society, a sense remains of their non-visibility. Psychiatricsurvivors have roles to play in society in all their humanity. If any individual wants toknow the challenges and issues facing mental health clients. . . he or she should enter intoconversation with those who have been diagnosed with mental disorders. Why have thosewho proclaim themselves as members of the mainstream forgotten to do this? Too often,individuals critical to the personal self-definitions of others do so from a distance and,consequently, force those on the perceived margins to remain, ultimately, silenced.278IntroductionAPPENDIX CRURAL DISCOURSES IN CONTEXTThis study took place outside of a city. Rural sociology has been studied since the lateindustrial revolution era and early 19th century, but study of country settings is lesspervasive in comparison to investigations into city living. When research is implementedin and around small town contexts, rural dynamics are folded into universalizing urbantheories. As a result, few specifically, intentional rural sociological theories exist.Vancouver Island is situated along the westside of British Columbia. The island is 282miles long and 62 miles wide, withapproximately 700,000 people. By far the mostpopulated part of the island is the southern half,most notably the tip, where the provincialcapital, Victoria is located. This city has about325,000 people are half the island’s population.Vancouver Island is slightly smaller in landarea than Taiwan; by comparisonthe Asian island is home to over 22 millionpeople. (BC Stats, 2003)Figure: A map of Vancouver Island (a blog called mentalwanderings.com, 2004, non-copyrighted)Explanations predominantly drawn upon are connected to urban contexts. Thisstudy took place in a small town. Theory that examines more pastoral settings is,therefore, required. Bringing in sociology of the country alongside critical disabilitystudies creates greater opportunity for ensuring the purposes set out earlier in this writingare met, namely, to disrupt “normal” ways of thinking about psychiatric diversity bychallenging prevailing notions of mental “illness” and create better relationships betweenpsychiatrically diagnosed and other (rural) people.The “City of Totems”The Trans-Canada Highway, after crossing Canada, makes its way across the GeorgiaStrait to Nanaimo, on Vancouver Island and down the east side of the isle to Victoria.Duncan sits halfway between these two cities (Figures on pages 279-280). This mainroute cuts through the town.Duncan’s location remains important for the Coast Salish Nation and CowichanTribes. The Cowichan and Koksilah Rivers flow west to east emptying into the GeorgiaStrait. The town’s economic history includes lumber; mining and fishing surging for acentury to virtually disappear in recent years. Farming is continuing, but this activity isnot a significant economic contributor. Like many towns on Vancouver Island, highpaying resource sector jobs have been replaced by transfer payments and low-waged,seasonal, retail and tourism positions. The town is a major service centre within theCowichan Valley (Figure on page 280).i 1MJ1A1279The southern tip is the most populous areawhere the provincial capital Victoria is. About35 miles north is the Cowichan Valley, cuttinga swath across the island’s width. Dividing thecapital region from the rest of the island aremountains. A key one, the Malahat, acts like ageographic boundary between it and the rest ofthe island. Duncan, the valley’s main economiccentre, resides on the north side of the Malahat.The Cowichan Valley is home to about 72,000people, with Duncan’s population being 4,700.In the valley, population density is 21 peopleper sq. km. By comparison Victoria’s density is133 per sq. km. and Vancouver’s is 4,239 persq. km. (BC Stats, 2003)(Caving Canada, 1995, non-copyrighted) Figure: A closer view of the Cowichan ValleyThe downtown core, itself, is about six blocks (Figure below) and comprisessmall shops and boutiques with names like: The Alley Cat, The Apple Crate, Barnacles,The Community Farm Store, Dayley Planet Imports, Coffee Over the Moon, GreatFermentations, Herbal Magic, Hill’s Native Art, Just Jake ‘s, Matisse Day Spa, ImagineThat!, Pots and Paraphernalia, Gossips, the Red Balloon Toy Company, Saltspring SoapCompany, Slice ofLfe and Wing-On Asian Imports. Signifying the strength of the FirstNations culture, 60 totem poles mark local events and are scattered throughout the town.Recently, a new central square was constructed for gatherings, speakers andentertainment. This space is the site of one of three local Saturday farmers’ markets.Many houses are buildings with 100+ years of history literally carved into them. Theworkings of many farmhouses have their heart of daily living practice (habitus) centred inthe kitchen. Preserving season is a critical time for the local population. Many neighboursare busy harvesting and “putting down” preserves for the winter. The valley is a fertilerowin for fruit, ye etablDuncan was founded in 1859 to create awhistle stop for the Blackball Line and tostop the squabbling between thenorthern/southern halves of the CowichanValley. Duncan is also a key centre for theCoast Salish nation of First Nations, withabout half the town’s population beingAboriginal. About a quarter of the town’spopulation is East Indian, with the restfrom many other places notably Hollandand Germany. Parts of the town sit onReservation Lands. The downtown area isabout 5 square blocks.Figure: A Map of downtown Duncan, British Columbia (Industry Canada, 2004, permissible use)emus, water buffalo, alpacas in addition to traditional farm animals) and is a productivevineyardJwine region. Highway signs warn of wild animal (bear, cougar, deer, elk)280crossings. Finding wild animals roaming roadways or in yards is common (cougarwarnings are frequent each summer). While the landscape is breathtaking, the calmscenery belies the experiences of the local population.These are darker and depressed times in the valley. Rural peace is brittle withdesperation. Job loss, poverty, families leaving, escalating drug use and increasingviolence and crime (a monthly crime report in a local newspaper is published) rates showthings, socially and economically, are harder for those most at risk. Guiding everythingare pervasive governmental influences punctuating effects of change. The figure below isa guide for what follows.Traditional Views of RuralTo be considered research in a country setting, reliance upon several measures is carriedout: population density, nature of regional employment, postal code definitions, localpeople’s views of the region and proximity to urban centres. Urban centres have morethan 400 people per sq kilometre. The Cowichan Valley has 21 people per sq. kilometre(BC Statistics 2003). The next criterion is the nature of employment within the locale./RURALSOCIOLOGYexamines totake notes ontrends andtransitionsFigure: An overview of rural discoursesPrior to 1961, if most income in an area was derived from farming, the region wasconsidered rural (Keating, 1992). This qualifier is no longer used as a measure, becausemost farmers increasingly rely on non-farm income to keep agricultural operations going.Postal code definitions define regions as rural or urban. If the digit “0” is in the secondposition, reading left to right, then the postal code zone is rural (Inforoute, 2005). Mostlocations in Cowichan Valley have a “0” as the second digit. The next measure is thelocal population’s opinion of the area. Cowichan Valley’s people view the location asrural because of resistance to development projects not fitting the “local, country sense ofthe area.” Reading the local papers, there is a strong opposition to large development inthe area; the most important rationale is the demand for keeping the country sensibilitystrong in the local area (FutureCorp, 2004).The last measure is closeness to other urban centres. Duncan is equidistant (50 km)between Nanaimo to the north (population 75,000) and Victoria to the south (populationB.C. HEARTLAND POLITICSTRADITIONAL RURAL LIFEA Singular Way of LifeII./ NEW RURAL ECONOMY:A Postmodern Identity281325,000). Because of the Malahat Mountain marking the valley’s southern bordercoupled with the highway often closed because of winter weather conditions and trafficaccidents (BC Statistics, 2003), the northern town is relied on more. With a populationdensity of 66 people per square kilometre, Nanaimo also fits the rural designation (BCStatistics, 2003). Given various criteria typical within rural research literature, Duncan isa rural setting.Family plays an important role in rural and farm life. Relatives, church and school arethree powerful social control influences. Historically, families were large with manychildren and extended generations living on, sharing and working the same land. Everymember of a family, from an early age, contributed labour to the farm. Men did much ofthe physical labour; women continued to cook and look after the children as well asworked side-by-side in the fields with their husbands. While traditionally larger familieshave given way to smaller nuclear structures, the sense of kinship remains throughextended family living within the community. Rather than many relatives living withinone house, many live scattered within the same or closely connected towns.In rural communities, distance takes on a different meaning. A farmer’s neighbourmay be miles away while. In the city, many neighbours live across six-foot hallways fromone another. Because public transit remains infrequent, having a reliable vehicle isimportant. Driving for an hour to pick up a week’s provisions is common, as is the ritualof “dressing for town.” Small town living is usually about being part of strong socialnetworks. Rural life is foremost about the land and relationships among people withnature. It is not solely about farming. Reciprocity is fundamental. Neighbours can stick tothemselves, but when needs arise, helping hands reach out (Galeski, 1972). This ispronounced with kids of rural families. Because children make friends throughout aneighbourhood (an area of several square km), many families come together throughshared childcare. This sense of watching out for one another is pervasive. Eventsoccurring in a small town are magnified because of intimate connections and informalityof surveillance. Bodies interconnect in need and celebration, to feed, support, clothe,shelter and for care, to support individual and collective human conditions.Rural Sociology/Constructing the Changing CountrysideA succession of theories was used (Figure on page 283) to describe the economics ofrural society, usually in relation to urban living (Basran, 1992). Early research in ruralenvironments was marked by studies done by Edmund Brunner in the U.S. in the 1 920s.He was the first to note as farmers increasingly mechanized production (notably tractors),farms increased in size. Not until after World War II did modern rural sociology arrive.Drawing on the economics of Smith (1904), early rural sociological theorybelieved the free enterprise system created “open” competition. This approach wasallowed to take hold and was thought best for marketing and selling agricultural goods.Government was theorized as having no place in the farm economy (or any businessenterprise). In practice, fierce competition does not exist as farmers rely on one anotherfor labour and getting each other’s produce to market. The Canadian political economist,Innis (1933), stated Canada was essentially “hewers of wood and drawers of water,” or araw commodity producer and was reliant on U.S., Britain and Japan markets for theirneed of raw resources to manufacture goods in those countries (Innis, 1933). As a result,282Canada, his thesis described, was held hostage to the whims of foreign interests, notablythe United States.Davis (1971), moved the discussion toward the structure of relationship(s)between urban and rural societies; this connection structured the economics of farm andcity life. His thesis was the city signified the centre of economic, political, social andcultural life to the detriment of rural regions. The term “hinterland” was chosen becauseit typified how rural areas were considered throughout the twentieth century: as relativelyundeveloped places. What the city needed from the country, the city usually received(Davis, 1971). Flows of goods were in one way: into major metropolitan areas. Thedemands of the country were ignored. The countryside was an internal “colony” of sortswithin Canada. What farms produced and was not used locally, was sold as surplus atprices determined by urban buyers, not rural suppliers. Because perishables had to besold at whatever price could be achieved, farmers lost much of their income. Over thepast decades farm income levels have been steadily declining, only to be replaced withoff-farm and in-town jobs. Davis suggested rural hinterlands experienced greatesteconomic gain when ties to the city were reduced. This remained an illusion because offree trade zones, economic unions and subsidies erasing hope of equality and prosperityfor rural regions. Extending the relationship of exploitation further, Davis suggestedWestern Canada was a domesticate(d) colony of Eastern Canada and in turn Canada was,through becoming a branch plant economy, economically dependent on the U.S.The second last theory, included here, is the Capitalist World Economic Model,extending the hinterlandlmetropolis notion across the globe (Amin, Arrighi, Frank, &Wallerstein, 1982) whereby the “first world” had as its major force the accumulation ofsurplus from under- and undeveloped parts of the globe. The social division of labour isglobally managed and divided through trade tariff and sectoral labour agreements.Oppression of social, rural and other economic groups is contractually systematic.Lastly, the Marxist notion claims material economic relationships shape anddetermine social structures and, therefore, people’s belief/value systems. People aretreated as objects, or factors of production, through granting and withholding of wealth.MarxistExporter of staplesand raw productsMove from a laissez-faire/open market structure system toincremental increases whereby market structure determinessocial structures and psychology/culture of peopleFigure: The steps in rural sociology from diffuse to central control283Rationales for how land and agricultural resources are managed are key forces as to howfarmers and small town individuals construct themselves. The struggle theorized includedrelations between factors of production and owners. Challenges were class-based bythose controlling manufactures.Within rural environments, farmers “owning” production of food have no controlwith regard to selling prices, or negotiating input costs. These producers depend ondecisions made in cities. However, Marx did not anticipate farmers of today being “landrich; cash poor.” On important levels rural individuals continue being exploited byexternal, urban influences. Now farmers are “land mortgaged, in debt and cash poor.”Money for family farms is scarce. This lack led to dire consequences for small townsfounded to service the needs of farms.The shift between traditional rural living and movement toward current countryexperiences began in the late 1 970s as a result of the energy crisis. The small familyfarm, nationally, continues to die. Corporate farms are replacing smaller family-runenterprises. As a result, the number of individual farms is shrinking. In 1941, the numberof farms was 733,000; in 2001 the number was 246,923 (Statistics Canada, 2001). At thesame time the size of average individual farms grows (Canadian average went from 499acres in 1976, to 676 in 2001) (Canadian Federation of Agriculture, 2005). Canada lostone-quarter of its farm workers in 2001 alone. At the same time, smaller farms arechoking because of the stranglehold of a few large, urban-based, multinationalagribusiness suppliers. Three key farm machinery manufacturers, six main fertilizercompanies, four large seed suppliers and two main rail companies for hauling producedictate what farmers will pay for expenses. All these firms want market prices, as set bythe manufacturers, for their goods and services, something increasingly factory farms,alone, can afford (National Farmers Union, 2003).Currently, market prices for farm goods are at a record low. The traditionalperspective of farming in Canada was the combination of land, labour, physicalequipment and money with a supply and demand mindset. Formal education and landleasing (an added cost early farmers did not have) replace farm traditions of inheritanceand apprenticeship. The loss of farmers and workers puts stress on small towns. InDuncan, farming complimented other resource sector industries (forestry, mining,fishing). All have experienced significant declines.Over thirty percent of Canada’s population still lives in rural areas (StatisticsCanada, 2002b). The federal government used to financially subsidize rural life, in orderto maintain a population throughout the country. In the event large tracts of land becomeuninhabited, fears arise an ever-increasingly crowded world will “take over” anunpopulated Canada. Governments have turned their collective backs on recent plights offarmers: Mad Cow Disease, poultry flu, droughts, trade barriers, foreign agriculturalsubsidies and plummeting food prices. What little money has come to support thesedisasters has taken years to receive and is not enough to keep farming viable (usually inthe form of repayable interest free debt). Farmers are teetering on disaster. Theseepisodes have pushed many more families out of farming while turning surroundingsmall towns into empty streets.284Rural/Urban Moral DivideUrban theory constructs the rural on moral lines. Urbanist thinking plays out as the“right” and moral choice. The Environics Research Group (2003) carried out a survey to“measure” the gap between rural and urban sensibilities and found the gap between urbanand rural views growing (between 2000-2003). Cities are seen by urban dwellers as good:rural living is viewed as something “less.” City people pity rural thinking as “less” or assomething tolerated because of their “backward-looking,” conservative notions(Saunders, 2003). Rural populations are often seen as innocent victims of their ownmaking. They exist as “wards” of the metropolis. There remains a colonizing relationshipof the country by cities. Not much stock is taken in how rural people view urban living.City dwellers see themselves as “normal,” but farm people as “less” (Saunders,2003). Anyone unfamiliar with entering a new cultural surrounding, at times, may havememory of trying to “fix” a foreign environment to maintain “normal” culturalexpectations. Imagine this scenario: living on a farm and experiencing a visit from anurban individual. The visitor, once in the countryside, may want to impose “citythinking” to create greater efficiencies, become more competitive, remain less personal,keep “goals” front and centre. Rural people can be read as “too” laid back, personallyinvolved, conservative, risk averse and living in the moment. A tension exists through the“foreigner” wanting to change and bring country living up to the urban “norm.” Locally,this is seen when some of Duncan’s youth dress and act like inner city “gangsta” rapmusic performers as they ride yellow school buses back to their farms.Rather than value what is unique and specifically country, some rural individualsmanifest an internalized hatred of being “unsophisticated.” Some local residents take onthe perceived urban other to minimize this. Rather than be proud of one’s uniqueness andcapabilities, urban mainstream beliefs toward small towns are internalized.Rural people often point to urban influences of those in the city as a sourceshaping how farms are viewed. An assumption is urban views speak for rural life issues.Country life is rendered non-visible by urban thinking. Within any community, severalkey points hint at levels of social disorder, disconnection and disorganization. I draw onthe five elements used by Chambers and Osgoode (2003) when they investigated thesedynamics for understanding community breakdown as evidenced through rural youthviolence. Younger people are more likely to act out violently; however, adults alsorespond in similar ways to social alienation and lack of connection for the followingreasons (Scott & VanDine, 1995). First, levels of residential instability reflect the degreea location is changing. Rural communities continue to decline or grow minimally.Exceptions to this trend exist in BC, notably the shrinking in the far northwest of theprovince and in the southern interior with faster than average growth. Crime rates mirrorthese differences. Cities tend to grow at much higher rates because of the concentrationof services, shopping, entertainment and increased employment possibilities. WhileNanaimo and Victoria continue to grow, Duncan’s growth has stagnated.Second, the ethnic makeup of rural areas tends to be predominantly Caucasianand Euro-American, with some towns having pockets of particular ethnic groups. Duncanhas four percent of its population people of visible minority background, compared to theprovincial average of 22 percent. The area has a larger than BC average population ofAboriginal peoples. Locally nine percent of the population are First Nations versus BC’saverage of four percent (BC Statistics, 2003). Duncan has not undergone any noticeable285shift in its cultural makeup. Cities tend to be more culturally diverse. With diversity or afew large cultural segments comes tension.Third, family disruption through death, divorce and separations create communityinstability if these levels are high (Scott & VanDine, 1995). The more these life eventsoccur within a locale, the more social disconnection, alienation and systemic turmoilarises. Within the Cowichan Regional District, 54 percent of adults were married and 20percent divorced, separated or widowed. The latter figure was about 50 percent higherthan the provincial average and created a potential for instability (BC Statistics, 2003).The smallness of the town amplified social disruptions. Troubling, is the level of alcoholand drug use and addiction. Indications of this were found by examining the increasingcrime rate (the highest on Vancouver Island) (British Columbia Solicitor General, 2005),the high rate of drunk-driving offences, the commonness of spousal assault and otherviolence (second highest in the province)(British Columbia Solicitor General, 2005).Teen pregnancies were the highest south of Prince George and suicides were secondhighest (behind Port Alberni) for the southern, more populous, half of the province (BCStatistics, 2003).Fourth, economics plays a role in any city or town, but this, like socialconnections, become magnified in the intimate smallness of rural areas. Approximately11 percent of households were working low-income families. Half the adult populationearned less than $25,000. Dependence on the social safety net in this region was abovethe provincial average (7.5 percent for Cowichan; 6.1 percent for BC) (Ministry ofLabour and Citizens’ Services, 2004). Another factor related to economics is housing.Over 40 percent of tenants renting in Duncan spent more than 30 percent of their grossincome on housing. Rents are 20 percent below the B.C. average (BC Statistics, 2003)significantly illustrating the lower incomes of the region. Signs of poverty are evidentthroughout the region, but destitution is most widespread among First Nations peoplesand those with disabilities.Fifth, larger communities and more densely populated areas result in weakersocial connections and a greater sense of anonymity. Cowichan’s size is smaller thanmany urban centres of the province and within the rural range of densities. Because of thescattered local population, a greater likelihood existed of stronger social connections.Many individuals and families live at some distance from one another in rural areas, sofewer hands are available to help one another. With not as many people to help, eachperson becomes more important to the neighbourhood in times of need, work orcelebration. Also, the lack of mobility of the population (meaning how often the localpopulation moves residence), over a five-year span, indicates rural people are not atransient group with generations of families residing locally (Ministry of Labour andCitizens’ Services, 2004)Lastly, the proximity to large urban centres was considered. The Cowichan Valleyis midway between two larger centres, each being 50 km away. A mountain lyingbetween Duncan and Victoria heightens the effect of distance between the two. Thisgeographical feature creates a strong psychological boundary so a stronger affinitytoward the smaller community to the north results. Key social indicators put pressure onliving here, notably family breakdown and high levels of poverty. Other systems do helpreduce these effects: notably barter and reciprocal community support.286• Figure: “Cowichan”becomes a brandThe Emergent “New Rural Economy” C.WtCHAN!!The Cowichan Valley is now a brand name (Figure above) used to market productsinternationally. In the New Rural Economy, within farm communities, services arereplacing products exemplified by agri-tourism. Dude ranches, bed/breakfasts and farmvacations are increasing in number, particularly for urbanites. Rather than the step-bystep process of the sow-grow-harvest-sell pattern of past farming, agriculture focuses onmulti-tasking whereby a variety of sources of income are “packaged” for market:produce, landscaping (provide gardening assistance for institutions), composting, tourism(tourists vacationing on farms) and energy production (collecting methane gas frommanure to turn into energy or windmill farms).Most local farms are “boutique” growers. For example, livestock includes emus(feathers, oil, meat), alpacas (wool), llamas (wool), water buffalo (milk/products), as wellas sheep, pigs, cattle and horses. Crops include lavender, soy, organic fruit andvegetables, orchards and vineyards. Farming incomes are small. The average gross farmincome in B.C. is about $50,000 with two-thirds coming from off-farm income (nonagricultural activities). Net farm income is about $17,000 (National Farmers Union,2003) and rapidly falling. Without off-farm income, farms record repeated and deeperlosses. Most recently, farm incomes across Canada, as an average, are experiencinglosses (2002 was the worst net income year for farmers in 30 years)(National FarmersUnion, 2003). Roadside stands and markets point out the breadth of agricultural offeringsin Duncan. But, rural living is pressured by urban growth, the press of “factory farms,”and red ink.The New Rural Economy is a code for globalization. To become “competitive” ina world economy, “efficiency” and “productivity” are keys. This is part of the reason whyfarms are fewer and larger (Reimer & Apedaile, 2000). The drive for productionincreases pressure on the environment: bio/genetic engineering, animal warehousing,mechanization and factory farms. Life becomes attractively packaged for the world mall.With this push downward on commodity prices and upward trends on “input”costs, farmers’ returns diminish. Increasing numbers of farming families sell off theirFarms and leave. The result is a gradual depopulation of rural areas and towns becausefewer people are needed to run factory farms.Because of various social, cultural, knowledge and financial capital, in ruralregions a conception of Three Rural Canadas was devised (Figure on page 289) (Reimer,1992; Reimer & Apedaile, 2000). A small minority was able to capitalize on the NewRural Economy because they: possess a larger size of agricultural operation allowingthem access to preferred credit, have a full complement of sources of capital, maintainfull property rights and international trade agreements suit them. The second tierrepresents those being fully productive, but on a smaller, more regional scale. They areable to continue with cash, or a pay-as-you-go basis, while relying on government aid andsupport. The bottom level represents where the cast largely resides. They are largelyexcluded from the mainstream, have minimal cash or wealth of any kind, have noproperty rights, live in poverty, on the edge of the workforce and their safety netentitlements are open to the whim of government policy. With shifts away from287traditional farming to low labour opportunities such as “agri-tourism,” alternatives areminimal.A suggestion, in the literature (Reimer, 1992), is rural regions need to selforganize into cooperatives, as is being attempted currently in the Cowichan Valley.Rather than compete, smaller individual producers and service-providers create theregion as a collective putting one concerted face or “brand” forward. Rather than take ona corporate, factory sensibility, the suggestion is to embrace an artisan approach and theinformal regional economy as tools for country production. This, researchers suggest,mitigates globalization effects, while retaining population and local values in ruralregions (Hay, 1992; Hay & Basran, 1991; Reimer, 1992).The “Grey” Market and SurvivalVarious levels of government research and measure social and economic issues, to justifivarious laws and practices and track the movements of money from one pair of hands toanother. This reflects an urbanist bias of money being the lifeblood of every community.For people with money, goods or services to be traded this may be the case, but for manyliving in rural settings barter is a way of life. Non-monetary trading is common wheneconomic times are good and second nature when money is scarce. It’s an informal, butcritical form of social and economic safety net largely unnoticed and under-researched.Social ties are key by-products of these reciprocal relationships.In order for barter to occur, trust, something of value and ease to carry out thetransaction must be present. The tight intimacy of rural relationships also includes a senseof belonging coming from sharing; therefore, an ease and fluidity of exchanges emerge.Economic and social crises create or sustain a need for informal trading. The “grey”market is not comprised of paid labour. Rather, subsistence emerges throughrelationships involving shared labour, recycling, gardening, canning/preserving, homecooking, hunting and fishing. As more people are removed from the formal economicsystem through unemployment, under-employment or disability, alternate sources forsurvival emerge. Rurally, more women, than men, work part time, thereby increasing theneed for barter to address shortages as they occur (Scott & VanDine, 1995). The sameholds true for communities of disabled persons (Statistics Canada, 2002b). Ironically,socially devaluing women’s work, relative to men’s, creates an informal market wherebywomen create networks, markets, informal systems of financing (exchange of “sweatequity”) and other modes of exchange many survive and profit. Evidence of informalmarkets and their respective needs is seen in the explosion of food banks across Canada.Nationally, food-based charities numbered 905 in 1997 and 2,800 in 2002. InMarch of the latter year, 750,000 Canadians sought help from food banks (CanadianAssociation of Food Banks, 2003). Since then, the need has increased, most notably inrural areas. In B.C., the identification of hunger as a concern grew from 17% in 2001,among survey respondents, to 30% in 2002 (Canadian Association of Food Banks, 2003).While this may not reflect the reality of current hunger levels, it does show the increasingworry of not having enough to eat among many residents within the province, whileraising an alarm regarding food security. Rural areas play a significant role in themaintenance of ongoing inexpensive, nutritious food to feed urban dwellers.288RURAL 1 — 1-5% of rural population;Well connected to global economy;given preferred credit; have strongproperty rights; supported byinternational trade agreements. Thissegment is comprised of medium/large-sized owners of local corporations.RURAL 2— 35-75% of rural population;involved in regional markets; usedebit/pay as you go systems; benefits fromwelfare state entitlements; the informaleconomy is critical for support; involvedin local and regional concerns. Thissegment is comprised of small businessowners, farmers and orofessionals.RURAL 3 - 20-60% of rural population;excluded from mainstream country society;usually without credit; underemployed orunemployed; suffer uncertainty in their safetynet entitlements based on whim of governmentpolicy; trapped in poverty or near poverty —few resources to escape. This aspect of rural iscomprised of: youth, seniors, single parents,Aboriginal people and disabled peopleFigure: The “Three Rural Canadas” and the placement ofthe Cowichan Valley within them (BC Statistics. 20O3.Provincial “Heartland” Country PoliticsA shift in political, economic and social fortunes within BC is occurring. The long-timepresence of the left-leaning NDP government vanished from the provincial politicallandscape after the 2001 election (though rebounded significantly in 2005) ,beingreplaced by the right-of-centre Liberal Party. Marking this change in government was aproclamation for BC entering a “New Era” of “prosperity.” Economic indicators,historically relied on to determine progress, revealed mediocre fortunes. In 2004, realGDP (gross domestic product) was the highest of all ten provinces and was expected tolead all other provinces to 2010 (Statistics Canada, 2005a). With regard to job creation,overall, British Columbia has the highest unemployment rate at 5.8 percent west ofOntario (Canadian Press, 2005), but is well below the record low national average of 6.8.Between 2004 and 2005 British Columbia had the best job growth rate in thecountry, yet according to the Premier’s web site, the provincial position ofjob creationnationally has moved up one— from 6th to 5th place (British Columbia Liberal Party,2004). During the current government’s power, the province shifted into a “have-not”region, but with rapidly rising levels of exports and manufacturing shipments there washope British Columbia could regain its “have” status. The provincial financial pictureCOWICHAN VALLEYAge Breakdown: >19 — 26%/BC 25%20-64 yrs — 57%/BC 52%65+ yrs — 29%/BC 17%Median Age — 44.2 yrs/BC 38.4 yrsNot moved in 5 yrs — 60%/BC 54%Aboriginal People — 9%/BC 4%Visible Minorities — 4%/BC 22%Education:20-34 yrs oldNot high school — 22%/BC15%High School36%//BC35%Tradesl4%/BC1 1%Collegel6%/BC17%Universityl3%/BC24%35-44 yrs oldNot High School — 20%/BC 18%High School — 24%/BC25%Tradesl9%/BCI4%College — 21%/BC2O%Universityl5%/BC23%45-64 yrs oldNot High School — 24%/BC24%High School22%/BC22%Trades— 18%/BC14%College — 18%/18%University — 18%/BC22%Income- $28,575/BC $32,544Partcipation Rate — 61%/BC65%Employment Rate-55%/BC6O%Unemployment Ratel4.2%!BC8.5%Single Moms 21% of families/BC13%289included an ever-increasing debt under the current Campbell Liberal government (Bankof Montreal, 2005). The economy rebounded in 2004, but remained much lower than2000, before the current government came into power (Statistics Canada, 2005b). Thestrategy taken was one of downloading costs to citizens and municipalities, then sayingpublicly the government was fiscally responsible and its cost-cutting was effective(Government of British Columbia, 2005).The metaphor the provincial government relies on to describe itself is persistentlysingular in vision: a corporation. Governments are not business entities. They domarkedly different things. For example, key functions do not include generating profits.A government’s role is to enhance and support the population through redistribution ofwealth. Profit generation puts money before people. Social supports put people beforemoney.The underlying assumption was one of: a financially ordered provincialgovernment attracts employment for those experiencing unemployment (BritishColumbia Liberal Party, 2005). This institutional notion assumes all other aspects ofgeography and its people are identical. Living in Newfoundland is different from BritishColumbia or Ontario or Alberta. In British Columbia, living in Ft. St. John is differentfrom Victoria or Cranbrook. With these results, presumably, social problems faced bymany are eliminated. Let the market correct the inadequacies of the social welfaresystem: a decidedly Adam Smith approach. This view carries the assumption: all peopleare identical. All that needs to occur, from this view, is more money, needs to be injectedinto the system (Government of British Columbia, 2005).The presumption of everyone in society needing to belong in the socio-economicmainstream is an unrealistic and essentially ableist view. For those not fitting ineconomically, governments suggest, indicates the source of the problem shifts to theindividual rather than to structural and material faults within prevailing social andeconomic systems. When social cuts are ordered, they are more direct and severe forindividuals from the lowest socio-economic groups. As a provincial system, creatingharsher realities does not drive people upward, but farther downward and out. Rapidchange is difficult for adults living with mental disorder to live with. High uncertaintycreates increased levels of confusion and stress; the most vulnerable segments of societyare where tears in the socio-economic fabric first appear.Poverty and HomelessnessPoverty’s measurement continues to be a battleground between conservatives andsocialists. The Fraser Institute feels a basic-needs measure is more relevant than StatisticsCanada’s Low Income Cut-Off (LICO) figure. However, when figuring out basic needs,one of the figures removed from the list of essentials is health care costs for people withdisabilities because “the extra medical costs of the disabled [italics mine] [sic] and thosewith special needs are rightly treated as special cases that go beyond the poverty-linecalculations of the standard case” (Sarlo, 2001, p.6). Psychotropic drugs and vitaminsare not seen by people with mental disorders as “extras” precisely because thesemedications help to manage what mental normal society wanted to see controlled. Theproblem with this approach is a fixed group of goods being predetermined to fit allpeople across all regions as being necessary (except medical costs not covered bymedicare or phannacare). This is considered to be an absolute measure of poverty rather290than the “relative measure” favoured by many social policy groups. The relative measureof poverty (LICO) measures one family’s income against an average or typical family’sexpenses. An absolute approach places a somewhat arbitrary number at where povertyexists based on expenditures for survival and in isolation of contextual considerations. Tomeasure poverty’s full effects, particularly from a rural perspective, an evaluation ofoutcomes in terms of diminished social capital/cultural capital opportunities (CanadianCentre for Policy Alternatives, 2000) also has to be included. Is subsistence the goal ofpoverty line policy or is it ensuring everyone has the opportunity to fully develop as acitizen?Regardless of where the “poverty line” is placed, signs of financial hardship areworsening in BC, particularly rurally. For those with disabilities, amounts paid are: tosingles, $786 (after ten years the B.C. government recently announced $70 to be added tothis figure) ($325 for housing/$43 1 for everything else) a month, or $9,432 a year, andfor a family of four was $1,329 a month, or $15,948 a year (and did not increase with thenumber of children one had) (pov-net, 2002, p.1 -2). All but one of these figures wasbelow the Fraser Institute’s conservative conception of poverty and the figure constructedby the Canadian Centre for Policy Alternatives. Levels of income are dropping in realterms. The gap between the highest and lowest income brackets is widening. Food bankusage continues to escalate (Canadian Association of Food Banks, 2003). Though lowerthan ten years ago, violent crime is moving upward (British Columbia Solicitor General,2005; Statistics Canada, 2005b) (B.C. had the highest level of property crime in Canada),bankruptcies increased in number (Ministry of Labour and Citizens’ Services, 2005) andlevel of homelessness within the province rose (Community Social Planning Council ofGreater Victoria, 2005).Most reports estimated the number of homeless in Canada between 100,000 to250,000, depending on how it was defined (75-100,000 in B.C.) (Lindeman-Jarvis, 2004),with a general agreement being that the frequency was getting worse. One-third of thoseliving on the streets are believed to have mental health issues. The percentage ofhomeless women with mental disorder and addictions was estimated at 75 percent(Statistics Canada, 2002). Most individuals living with no fixed address were believed toalso have a substance abuse problem. Homeless people were rendered invisible through anumber of ways: lack of place or home, poverty, erasure of voice and loss of identity. Formany, their conditions of psychiatric disorder or addiction remain unrecognized oruntreated.Change in Welfare Rules-To address shortfalls in provincial economies, one of the first targets in British Columbiawas an effort to reduce welfare/disability numbers. As of spring 2002, people wishing toapply for welfare and disability benefits were forced into a poverty test. An individualmust be destitute before receiving government aid. The means test states a person withdisabilities must have less then $150 in cash ($250 for families) and less than $3000 inassets (for a single person) or $5,000 for families (British Columbia Coalition for Personswith Disabilities, 2005, p.1). These figures exclude having a car except under certainconditions. Gifts of money are deducted from assistance payments; gifts in kind are not,bolstering the rural tradition of barter.291Considering disability payments and the ability to live, rural areas may be betteroff with regard to housing because rents are lower in small towns. In Duncan rents can befound for $400 ($75 more than the disability benefit shelter rate of $325). In addition,transit passes are not free, so many in the town walk. Laundry, at $2.50 a load, takesaway from the monthly allowance. Many with healthy incomes and benefit packages takefor granted many costs poor people cannot afford: utilities, extra drug costs, food,clothing, toiletries and laundry. Persons on disability are able to earn an extra $300 amonth (usually through the four Fs mentioned earlier) before any “excess” is deducteddollar for dollar. This is part of the conservative agenda focussed on attacking any formof “idleness.” Anyone not working is considered to be a “drag” on the economy bygovernment officials and many employed individuals.No provision is made to counter the biased and discriminatory attitudes ofemployers. Potential recruitments do not occur because hiring managers often ignore ordiscount qualifications held by psychiatric survivors. Most striking is the unemploymentrate for those with mental disorders. At a time when the Canadian unemployment rate isat 8%, comparable numbers are 44% for men and 53% for women with disabilities versus4% for men and 17% for women more generally (Statistics Canada, 2002a). Noseparation in the statistics for those living with mental disorders was provided, but onepresumes the stigma connected to mental disorders creates higher percentages. Mostonsets of psychiatric diagnosis occur during young adulthood, when many individuals intheir early 20s are attending college or university. This event forecloses completion ofpost-secondary programs until much later in life, if at all, further reducing access tohigher paying employment.Tax Cuts and Selling Offthe Common WealthInstituting tax cuts and selling off major public assets is part of the mandate of the currentCampbell Liberal government. Selling the commonwealth reduces income for public useeach year in the future to support social programs. Tax cuts inordinately benefited thosewith above-average incomes, rather than lower income status groups (Canadian Centrefor Policy Alternatives, 2001). When rollbacks on tax rates failed to generate anticipatedtax revenues, through increased consumer spending, user fees went up. Doubling healthcare premiums, dropping eye-glass examinations from the provincial medical plan andincreased driver’s licence fees: these kinds of taxes negatively affected poor people.Raising user fees inordinately affects rural and working-classed people. Many do nothave employer-paid benefits, yet they do work at minimum-wage levels.PharmacareA revamping of the Pharmacare prescription program in British Columbia, between late2003 and 2004 occurred. Changes affected many people beyond the financial aspects,particularly psychiatric survivors. The cast raised these issues from their own lives. Thosereceiving psychotropic drugs are now mandated by Pharmacare to receive the cheapestversion available, despite psychiatrists dispensing prescriptions having particularcompositions. In order to receive the more expensive prescriptions, those experiencing apsychiatric diagnosis must pay for the difference themselves (if they are covered bydisability benefits) or pay for the whole cost of the more expensive drugs out of pocket (ifthey do not qualifr for disability). Senior citizens and those living with disabilities are the292two main users of Pharmacare. Outpatient programs and drugs have largely replacedmore invasive treatment regimens traditionally associated with in-hospital care. As aresult, more drugs are dispensed rather than fewer. What was thought to be a cost cuttingmeasure is actually costing more for patients and for the province. Because of theincrease in costs to patients, many cannot afford the prescriptions and are foregoing pills.This abstention results in increased adverse health effects, while pushing more patients incrisis back into hospitals. Rather than increase independence and integration, this policycreates a stronger dependency.Reassessment ofDisability Benefits, Program Funding, HousingAs of September 30, 2002, the provincial disability benefits program underwent afundamental change in eligibility requirements. Those on the former Disability One Formwere sent a new 23-page functional assessment to complete (British Columbia Coalitionof People with Disabilities, 2005). If a person no longer qualified, they were droppedfrom funding, shifted to the basic welfare rate or moved to the new Person with Persistentand Multiple Barriers PPMB level. More than 62,000 of these forms were sent out. Manyof these documents went to adults diagnosed with mental disorders. Some of theseindividuals did not have an understanding of what this form was all about, nor why afteryears of disability, they had to prove themselves again. No prior education about thisprogram was provided. The lengthy form simply arrived. Another problem with theexercise was most of the paperwork had to be completed by a medical doctor. Somegeneral practitioners focused in the field of mental health and psychiatrists were sooverwhelmed with forms they clamoured for extra payment for their efforts, either fromthe mental health client directly or from the government. These demands further raisedfears and anxiety levels. Some were dropped from benefits, to be reinstated later. Muchturmoil and angst filled the system, with at least one reported suicide (Hansard, 2003).Government policy created a deep sense of vulnerability within communities of disabledpeople (Zingaro & Tom, 2003). Disabled identities and bodies were challenged by anableist society.Perhaps those feeling the effects most strikingly were those living withpsychiatric diagnoses. The emotional stress and public outcry, was why the minister incharge eventually “excused” 5,000 people living with mental health issues from having tocomplete the form; but this added more confusion and uncertainty in the system. Becausethe new policy had shifted direction once again without warning, many mentallydiagnosed people did not know whether they still fell under the government’s mandate. Inthe end, 400 of the 62,000 applicants were dropped or changed (most are appealing so thecosts will continue to climb and the number of exclusions will drop further) at a cost ofover $6 million (Auditor General of British Columbia, 2004). The changes to theprovincial disability program highlight just how vulnerable people with disabilitiesremain:• The disability designation is no longer permanent.• Home support is eliminated.• The ministry can compel anyone to embark on ajob search.• The support rate for single parents has been reduced.293• Changes to the appeal system make it more difficult to win appeals.• Crisis food grants have been capped at $20 a month and $100 a year forclothing.• For adults living with mental disorder, the definition as to what will beincluded has become much narrower, so those individuals living withanxiety disorders, or clinical depression will not be included. (BCCoalition for Persons with Disabilities, 2005, p. 1).Passing Through The “Open Door”Within the local population, a significant percentage of people live with disabilities, thehighest per capita concentration in the province (Cowichan Women Against Violence,2002). The reasons for this are threefold: first, the climate in this region is one of thewarmest in the country; second, the cost of living is substantially lower than urban areas(rents are well below the provincial average and the cost of food is low because of locallygrown produce); and third, the relative closeness to medical facilities in the provincialcapital. The grounding place for many psychiatric survivors in Duncan is a cosyenvironment, found in a house along a dead-end street in town.Walking through the front door of this non-descript house, with the littlepottery plaque just by where people enter states simply, “Open Door”—onthis ordinary street tucked behind the large car dealerships—lost fromheavy traffic and blinkeredfrom any suffocating engagement with curiouseyes—in this tiny town.... well .. . successes occur every day. A narrow porchruns across the front of the house, complete with wicker chairs—theunassuming appearance seemingly serves as the moat between the outsideworld and those contained within. Directly inside the main entrance thecentral reception area is squeezed into a tiny alcove barely containing acomputer, chair, and telephone. To the left, there is a narrow, steep,winding wooden staircase that ascends upwards out ofsight. Immediatelyto the right of the reception is a large open space filled with gaggles ofcafeteria chairs gathered around tables placed in slight haphazardfashion. In this room, there is a fake brick fireplace—with silk plants as‘flames “-along one wall, a windowed alcove for a table and afew chairs—the opposite wall has bulletin boards filled with notices andannouncements.At the far endfrom the front entrance is a doorway leading into asmall meeting room seating four to six comfortably. Walking through theopen eating/meeting room, and turning to the left at the far end, anindividual will find him- or herself in a large industrial kitchen that is neatand tidy (like the rest of the house—simply immaculate!). Just to the right,inside the kitchen, is a small washroom and beside that-a little furtherpast-is a doorway to the back yard and its small garden plot ofvegetablesand a smoking area (many smokers in the house) for people to sit outsideon nice, warm days while soaking up the sun. There is, immediately, agentle sense of warmth, caring, sensitivity, and openness found just294standing in this space. If one closed his/her eyes andjust let his/her bodytake in the senses, one could easily imagine they were in the home of alarge, lovingfamily. With opened eyes it is easy to see that everyone doeshave a niche—a sense of belonging - within the larger system of membersand staff For some, this is the only strong ‘family” they have everyknown since being diagnosed. There is something special—sacred-when aperson opens him- or herselfup to what is welcoming.The downstairs area serves as the main gathering space formembers of the Open Door Program (ofDuncan Mental Health Services).Various postings cover the wall of bulletin boards in ordered rows:“Pottery Classes”, “Medication Workshops”, “Work Teams”, “WorkOrders”, “Hiking”, “Floor Hockey”, “Field Trips”, “Study Notices”.... andonefor “Theatre Workshops” (it still remains up there as afixture).Upstairs in this beautifully decorated and spotlessly clean home—complete with creaking wood floors throughout—there are quirky, uniqueartistic knickknacks appearing in odd—but somehow appropriate spots.There are four rooms on the secondfloor. At the very top ofthe stairs is ashort hallway that runs perpendicular to the direction of the staircase. Tothe left is a washroom; at the left-hand end of the hall there is the musicroom, complete with black, overstuffed leather couches, large TV/VCR,stereo, and electric guitars. The door facing the stairs is the executivedirector office, and to the right is another office. When any of theserooms are not in use, the doors remain open. People pass through theoffices picking things up or dropping notes off—there is no need to askforpermission to enter a vacant room. The trust is implicit with the opennessofthe doors.What strikes a first-time visitor immediately, as did with me duringmy initial visit, was while here in this safe haven for adults living withmental disorder that one could not be sure who was a mental health client,and who was a social worker/staff member—and very quickly it didn ‘tmatter. That “need to know” quickly evaporated with the aromassensuously dr/iing up from the kitchen directly below. That seemed to bethe intentional, though subtle, design of the place. (Noble, field notes, pg.12-14)The Open Door Program was fashioned after the clubhouse model developed byFountain House in New York City more than fifty years ago (International Center forClubhouse Development, 2002). The American exemplar grew out of a time when tens ofthousands of American and Canadian mental hospital and asylum inmates were releasedon to foreign, unwelcoming streets.The clubhouse model is holistic with the focus being on the person-in-context.Members of this mini-community are integral parts of this social system. A goal of aclubhouse is not to “cure,” but it is about a rite of passage moving an individual from“unwell” to “healthy” and functioning citizen (with one aspect of one’s life being mentaldisconnection). During their time as members (membership is for life), each individual295contributes to the running of the house meeting personal needs, abilities and interests.Members are invited, but not forced or coerced, into taking roles. The notion of afunctioning community is central: a place and space capturing commonly held values,beliefs, interests and woridviews. Within the clubhouse each member takes on a role (bythis is meant a list of duties). Every member, regardless of the level of psychiatricdiagnosis, can contribute. Respect and collaboration are fostered. A focus on communitybuilding is concentrated on through interactions of whole body-systems-in-action, in thecontext of the clubhouse. Interpersonal relations each member is involved with areexperienced physically, emotionally, psychologically and experientially. Previously,members were constructed by society as invisible, non-human and powerless. Here, inthe house, they are not judged, but encouraged to explore strengths to contribute to selfand group wholeness. Over time, they become more open, embodied, helpful, valued andless fearful.Joining the Clubhouse ConceptThere are predictable schedules based on established responsibilities, opportunities tomatch interests and abilities, and an organization based on defmed roles. Members andsocial workers contribute alongside one another. Through this shared effort, each affectsthe other. The approach is one of support and enthusiasm. A gradual unfolding ofrelationships among members and staff working together creates mutual sharing.The clubhouse’s permanence and existence of a consistent staff creates a steadyinfluence for members. Modelling is a powerful means for shaping behaviour. Aclubhouse membership remains for a lifetime and, once inside, an individual may chooseto be involved, or not, regardless of their life path. Everyone occupies a space wheremembers are part of the system. There are sanctioned, standardized intake steps,personnel policies, criteria for admission and other dynamics guarding borders betweenthe clubhouse and external social networks.By constructing an entry process to gain membership, a strong sense of unityexists within the clubhouse. This process consists of prospective members filling outapplications, interviewing by staff and other members, processing votes to accept or notpotential members and welcoming.For many Open Door members, few opportunities for enhancing identity areavailable in the larger social world. The clubhouse provides a connection to others andpride through affinity. This approach means the ability to illustrate each member’s directinfluence and power to shape the habitus, or living within the clubhouse. By examiningand working within the relationship between knowledge and action, employees work withmembers to access their abilities through self-perceptions. By shifting views of self-capabilities, motivation, interests and behaviours are affected in more constructive ways.Clients understand they can control more greatly the social, economic and political forcesbuffeting and constricting their lives.SummaryBy understanding the breadth of rural living and the particularity of the Open DoorClubhouse program as a gathering place supports this study’s purposes of disrupting“normal” ways of thinking about psychiatric diversity by challenging prevailing notionsof mental “illness” and creating better relationships between psychiatrically diagnosed296and other people. By understanding the local and rural context within which this researchoccurred removes taken-for-granted urban biases. The country is not the same as the city.With this in mind, I set out to recruit individuals to create a popular performanceto be staged in the community. The production involved a group of psychiatricallydiagnosed individuals and occurred in Duncan. The popular theatre cycle assisted the cosearchers in better understanding themselves and their society, while the popularperformance aided in educating the local townspeople. Because of the dynamics oflocation, it was important to understand the political economy of rural Canada andDuncan, BC. This appendix illustrated how rural psychiatrically diagnosed lives areshaped by provincial political policy, international economics and local socialrelationships. Living in Duncan meant being intimately connected to a close webbing ofsocial relationships whereby individuals helped one another and engaged in a thrivinglocal sense of place. Being a psychiatrically diagnosed individual person in Duncanmeant being rendered largely non-visible, poor, isolated, incapable and dependent onmedical and social services. There were reasons for hope. The Open Door Clubhouseprogram was an important connection and place to make friends, find employment andhave a meaningful social life.The theatrical production entitled, Shaken: Not Disturbed... with a twist!, involveda fluctuating cast of 20. Of this number, nine saw the project through from start to finish.These people, along with others recruited later, performed in a poultry barn. But, beforegetting to the popular performance it is necessary to examine the framework that supportsthis work.297The University of British Columbia_______Office of Research Services and Administration4 Behavioural Research Ethics BoardAPPENDIX DCertificate ofApprovalPRINCIPAL INVESTIGATOR DEPARTMENT NUMBERBoshier, R.W. Educational Studies B02-0303INSTITUTION(S) WHERE RESEARCH WILL BE CARRIED OUTCowichan Theatre, Duncan, B.C.,CO-!NVESTIGATORS:Noble, Steven, Educational StudiesSPONSORING AGENCIESTITLE:ACTING OUT OF BOUNDS: Transfomiances Of Marginal, Rural Identities And PowerRitualsAPPROVAL DATE TERM (YEARS) DOCUMENTS INCLUDED IN THIS APPROVAL:1 19 July 2002, recruitment notice, consent formCERTIFICATION:The protocol describing the above-named project has been reviewed by theCommittee and the experimental procedures were found to be acceptable on ethicalgrounds for research involving human subjects.Approval ofthe Behavioural Research Ethics Board by:Dr. James Frankish, ChairThis Certificate of Approval is valid for the above term provided there is no change inthe experimental procedures298The University of British Columbia July 6, 2002- Office of Research Services and Administration“I—‘ Behavioural Research Ethics BoardNotice of Ethical ReviewPRINCIPAL INVESTIGATOR DEPARTMENT NUMBERBoshier, R.W. Educational Studies B02-0303INSTiTUTION(S) WHERE RESEARCH WILL. BE CARRIED OUTCowichan Theatre, Duncan, B.C.CO-INVESTIGATORS:Noble, Steven, Educational StudiesSPONSORING AGENCIESTITLE:ACT]NG OUT OF BOUNDS: Transformances Of Marginal, Rural Identities And Power RitualsThe Committee has reviewed the protocol for your proposed study, and has withheld issuing a CertificateofApproval until the following conditions have been satisfied or information provided:Please highlight or underline changes to consentform(s) or letter(s) and submit only one copy. Provideother requested information in a letter or memo. Do not re-submit the Requestfor Ethical Reviewform.1) Revise the recruitment notice and consent form to use simpler lay language.2) The researcher has very solid experience in theatre, but this project appears to addresssome issues that would require expertise in counselling. The committee suggest addingsomeone to the team who has experience in counselling and dealing with people with thiskind of background.3) Item #23 mentions the potential for emotional challenges, but does not address how thiswill be handled.4) If the researcher recruits his former students, there is a potential for coercion. Aprevious relationship and power imbalance could create too much pressure on theindividual to participate.Consent form:5) Revise the second from the last paragraph on page 2. There is too much pressureapplied to remain in the study.If you have any questions regarding these requirements, please call:Ms. Shirley Thompson, Manager, Behavioural Research Ethics Board, 604-827-5112Please send all correspondence to: Research Ethics, Office of Research Services, Suite 110, GeraldMcGavin Building, 2386 East Mall, V6T 1Z3The University of British ColumbiaOffice of Research Services and AdministrationBehavioural Research Ethics BoardCertificate of ApprovalPRINCIPAL INVESTIGATOR DEPARTMENT NUMBERBoshier, R.W. Educational Studies fl02-0i03INSTITUTION(S) WHERE RESEARCH WILL BE CARRIED OUTCowichan Theatre, Duncan, B.C.,CO-INVESTIGATORS:Noble, Steven, Educational StudiesSPONSORING AGENCIESTITLE:Mental Health Seen Through Popular PerformanceAPPROVAL DATE TERM (YEARS) AMENDMENT: AMENDMENT APPROVED:02-07-19 1 11 June 2003: Title, Subjects,Consent form, Questions JUN 1 3 2003CERTIFICATION:The protocol describing the above-named project has been reviewed by theCommittee and the experimental procedures were found to be acceptable on ethicalgrounds for research involving human subjects.This Certificate of Approval is valid for the above term provided there is no change inthe experimental proceduresApproval of the Behavioural Res4çzrch Ethics Board by one ofthefollowing:Dr. Jam4 Frankish, Chair,Dr. Cay Holbrook, Associate Chair,Dr. Joe Belanger, Associate Chair3ooAPPENDIX EaUC Study i122x8 speo-GompositvCALL FOR VOLUNTEERS - UBC STUDY:(.atm9(QOU1) .OfROUNDS/ Qr,.,.TRAN$FORMANCES OFTHEMARGJNAE Ii h C)(4tP”111444,RtJRAldIDINT1TIESANDPOWERRITUM.S... ‘Z 1 JA.P IlcUoll As pars of my recluinsusottla to Coatpletc my dsgscctinim, withinUlC’s Faculty of Edusatfon, 1, Stevu Noble. doctonil cnrtdldatc, ‘rMolncpina iatnicLor, and Cowichar Valley midtksnt, am aetking a 7group of beau (L.itdysmith to Mill Bay so Lalil Cowichan) iire.siedin popular theatre, music, dance, and other cit. My our project. wWfocus Upon perfonnhsg stodc of and for the Liuncacs area to learn cadscant front one anuLht, In order to CaptOte høw dlfrem powers bhapeour lives and hLatsios, Thit oppoituithy Is Isclng o0rcd at a nat (line,given the experiences and frali(1C5 We face In British Colunibla. •Jhu /projcc will involve flvc montha uf theatre e at*scs, different ways ofkilling stouici, a varlaty of t6 fonmi, an well rehearsals leading upto 1 / — ça small nuniher of public ‘pcrtonnanccs’ curly in 2003. Areas we )C,4 / ‘(myself working with a oprcsentouvc groop of those who seeSCILVCS as bcinI3 part tiC da Cowichan Valley’s dlsadvnntaad adult.3j ..,,.,population) will play with, within a numbcr cit dteauls o ni / cwill include being powetless, not being allowed to have a public voice,and heinz told to rwnala luvisiblo. Also, the group will plair with waysthat sonic of their needu arid situations can be improved to Cut are.lb be included as a player in this study yost:kc available once a k, Iota four4ionr ‘rchcorsat’.a Arc available between, approximately, Scptcmbct 15th to March 31.2003.• Do not have cay formal thairu training noreatoasive pcrfonnanccetionce.• Are allecit lB years ofogc;rcrirccnsrwcncouniss1tojoie ci wail!• BOLh an and women arc mcooraed to join in our cit. sniscic, tiacamu, and perfbainaie fun!• tont mind havhtg recordings taken ofwcctlngs, the work in progreat, and public performances.• Are in generally good health there will Ito some physIcal activityinvolved.• Are prepared to explore sensitive pusraursal anti group sanflasRave had some anporlence with nullanee upon welibre. peilsiosi,umployrnunt insusance, and/or disebility puyimnln. Of particularInterest arc those pauplu who applicid for, but were rcfu,cd5odnlsappors or hove been removed (rum there payments, and did not oralt, nut have any financial support- OR you• Sec yQursclf as being ‘nasi-tnairntivrun’ because you we a senIor citizen, single parent, visible *hnic iainoriLy Fhst Nuziloes person, person with disr5i1ity or poverty.• For Chase whibbig So know more os wotaki like to hr Included inthe project, please euntoet Srve Noble (T1S.3i15) or cmafl hintat HYPERLINK “madtot$Let_Nab(e®tdwa.nut”St c_N lct&ttdu.nel by September 10, 2002 ANI) picwtc cameto the Cewieban ‘Fhustrc Studio Rehearsal ILsil Septeinbr.r 15thbetween 1-3 p.m. Co find out more and sdgn Ui301THE UNIVERSITY OF BRITISH COLUMBIADepartment of Educational Studies________Mailing address:I 1 2125 MainMall‘ Vancouver, B.C. Canada V6T 1Z4Tel: (604) 822-5374APPENDIX F Fax: (604) 822-4244INFORMED CONSENT FORM(c’r’N OUT) -OF IBOUNDS/...ITRANSFORMANCES OF MARGINAL...RURAL IDENTITIES AND POWER RITUALS....Faculty Research Advisor:• DR. ROGER BOSHIER, University of British Columbia, Department ofEducational Studies, Phone: 822-5822Research Process Coordinator• STEVE E. NOBLE, University of British Columbia, Department of EducationalStudies, Doctoral Student (Ph.D. Candidate), 250-715-1815. Study is to fulfillthe requirements of the Ph.D. degree.Study Purnose:• The purpose of this study is to create a space for individuals who feel thatthey have become silenced and made powerless socially andlor economicallyand who live within the Cowichan Valley. The work within this study willprovide an oppportunity to explore their life stones while participating in thetales of others. Once histories have been pieced together in the form of ashow, we will invite local people to come and see our interpretation of livingon the edge of Cowichan Valley society. We will also create ways that we feelwill help us, on our own and as a region, help one another create acommunity where all can participate more equally while focussing on morepositive futures for everyone. Through our work our aim will be to include allcitizens in creating positive futures where we, together and on our own, havegreater control over how we choose to live our lives.Study Procedures• The first thing will be an individual meeting between myself and you todiscuss the study’s process while addressing any of your concerns and!orVRrsinn I1 4102 302personal goals you may wish to have included in our work, and any issuesyou may have with regard to the procedures or issues of confidentiality.• Next, we will hold a group meeting with everyone joining us so that all canhave a feeling of belonging and understanding the whole group.• Then, over six months the group will come together to hold one four-hoursession (members wiN decide what the best time will be) per week. Each ofour meetings will be loosely structured around this kind of structure:= When we first amve, the first 30 minutes will be to meet, settle down anddiscuss possible stories or experiences to be worked on; talking aboutissues/concerns that members have.: Once we are warmed up, the next 90 minutes will be (for the first ten weeks)general training in various aspects of creating theatre and art. The secondhalf of the study will be used for practising scenes we have developed,previously, in earlier meetings.The next 90 minutes will be (for the first half of our five months) for groupmembers to share in their stories through theatre and art. The second tenweeks of the study the process will shift toward exploration of new material,polishing the performance, and understanding audiences.The final 30 minutes of each meeting, throughout the twenty weeks of thestudy, the group will look at what occurred in that particular meeting includingwhat worked, and what did not work for each member. This is the ‘coolingdown’ period where we can, as a group, think and talk about the work thathas come before.= Either every six weeks there will be audio-recorded, individual øroqressmeetinQs between you and me that will last about half an hour — this is a‘check-in’ to see how you are going as we take this path together AND/ORthe first and ending thirty minutes of each training/rehearsal period will beaudio-recorded. This will be dependent upon the size of the group.• During each session of training and rehearsals, over the six-months there willbe a still camera available in order to take pictures of significant events, assuggested by the group, individual members, or myself.• One performance will be recorded, that focusses upon the performers.• Following the performance(s) there will be a one-hour debriefing focus groupsession between audience and performers. This will be audio-recorded. Oneweek following the end of the performance phase, a one-hour audio-recordedinterview/focus arou meeting will be conducted with a small number ofaudience and group members to determine their reactions to theperformance, what they liked, disliked and what they learned as a result ofthe presentation.• Three months following the final perfbrmance, there will be a group meetingwhere there will be an audio-recorded. two-hour focus aroup session to3O3VArRinn fltt 911411)2Idiscuss what has transpired in the lives of group members as a result of thetheatre workshops and performance(s).The amount of time you can, potentially, spend in this study will be about 100hours over nine months [almost all of this time will be within six months plus atwo-hour focus group meeting three months following performance(s)].Should it become necessary to miss some meetings that will be fine. Shouldyou need to leave the study for a time you can always come back later on ifyou wish. Should you wish to leave the study and not come back that isabsolutely fine. I would only ask that you let me know what is happening sothat I can plan for upcoming group meetings.During my writing out of recorded material, working to understand what isgoing on, and the writing up of our journey I will supply each member withwritten copies of recorded material as well as their individual and focus groupdiscussions for their review and feedback. I will also provide copies of draftsof my writing so that members can give me his or her opinion about whatthey’ve read. There will be ongoing group and individual discussions with thegroup with regard to my understanding of what we are doing, as well as ofthe final report. Each group member will be provided with a final report of ourexperience together.ConfidentialityAny individual information resulting from this study will be kept strictlyconfidential. All written and recorded documents, not included in the publicperformance, will be identified only by code number and kept in a secured area.Because the project will involve recordings, photographic images, and publicperformance, group members and audiences will be told of this prior to thebeginning of the study and performance(s). Every effort will be made to protectstudy individuals from having their backgrounds, stories, and experiences traceddirectly back to them.Performance(s) will be general ideas blended into a unique public presentationhighlighting broadly based experiences of member-identified powerlessness,ritual, breaking of boundaries and norms, and finding inner and group strength.Group members will not be identified by name in any description of thecompleted study including my finished dissertation. Stories, and understandingsof them, that arise from the study will be hidden by a code known only betweenthe individual and me. Group member names and cross-referenced codes will bekept in a separate, secured area accessible and known only to me, Steve Noble.Because we are dealing with some personal and sensitive issues you may find,during a meeting, that you need to take some time out and share what ishappening to you with a helping professional. During each of our meetings therewill be a counsellor with us with whom you can speak to privately about what youare experiencing and/or feeling. She has been instructed by me to keep anyconversations she has with you both private and confidential. She will work withVprRinn fltp. 9114K)2-4you, referring you to a community resource that can better assist you, if required,should you need this assistance. I will not be informed of the content of theseconversations; these will be between you and her alone.VERY IMPORTANT: If you have taken a course that I have delivered, as theinstructor, I would like to stress that if you feel that your past relationship as astudent of mine may be uncomfortable at any point in the study, please do notworry if you decide to leave the group. I completely understand your choice to doso and this will not create any negative feelings from me. The important thing isthat you are comfortable with being in the study, and should you not be that youcan feel free to leave at any time.Payments/Project CostsI will not be paying you for your time. However, costs relating to training,rehearsals, meeting space requirements, performance, and audio-visualrequirements, during the six months of sessions, will be the responsibility of me,Steve Noble.ContactIf I have any questions or desire further information with respect to this study, Imay contact Dr. Roger Boshier at 604-822-5822 or his associate, Steve Noble, at250-7 1 5-18 15. If I have any concerns about my treatment or rights as a researchsubject I may contact the Research Subject Help Line in the UBC Office ofResearch Services at 604-822-8598.Consentv I understand that my participation in this study is entirely voluntary and that Imay refuse to participate or withdraw from the study at any time withoutneeding to worry that my privacy will be made public.v I have received a copy of this consent form for my own records.V I consent to participate in this study.Participant Signature DateSignature of Wftness DateVRrion flt: 9114/fl?APPENDIX GMENTAL SEEKING MENTALSWMF: Straight White Mental Female Seeking OtherMale Mental; Young at Heart; Happy Happy SuperSuper Go-Lucky; With Appropriate Meds (Willing ToShare); Self-Medicated Need Not Apply. No NormiesPlease. SWM Requires Handsome, Lots of Money/HighIncome (Marrying Up Because Government Support isbown); Must have at least 4-5 Hospitalizations andMental Labels and bual biagnoses. Must Live NearHospital for romantic midnight runs to the emergencyroom. Brother is Ambulance Aftendant. Medic AlertJewellery a nice-to-have; At peak mental ill healthpotential (age 19-30). All replies to the HospitalsFourth Floor Psych Ward. Phone: 911306APPENDIX HTHE CAST’S RESEARCH - A LISTING OF THEMATIC SCENESThe show starts with an opening into Chaos ,,.... everyone in mask and dimmed lights. n audience will be given aplay start time that is 15 minutes earlier than the show will actually commence. For that fifteen minutes Sidney, in therole of a yesteryear hospice guardian, will be outside the building talking to the audience about the show and some ofthe things to expect once inside. Once the above is done, Sidney in role will then invite the audience into thebuilding telling them to be ‘careful’ of the “exhibits.” The exhibits are the actors in various characters of wild,stereotypical “acting out” within the worst mental hospital of days gone by. During the early days of asylums in the1 600s- 1 800s citizens were invited in to take a look at the ‘freaks’ — and pay tickets for the ‘show’. This is the generalfeeling of chaos our audience will walk into. The idea was to ensure that the audience is immediately knocked “offbalance” doubly — by the beginning, and by the space that has been chosen: an old poultry barn at the localfairgrounds. We will be in masks and wandering around the space as the audience sets up their chairs. The atmospherewill include various elements such as:PHYSICALSlow motion mimeExhaustionHand washingInvisible petals falling to SIGHTgive the sense of ‘creepy crawlies’Cutters! Self HarmBulimial Anorexia (emaciatedgirl holding up a mirror scolding her own ‘fat’)SOUNDSScreamsSobbingRetching! VomitingCrying/SobbingHeavy BreathingMany voices of BombardmentDisembodied Voice Over!Disharmonious MusicCountingThe moment that struck the cast was fairly early on when the group was working with a particular exercise — calledThe Bombardment — which proved very intensefor those living with schizophrenia... the exercise was like anexternalized representation ofwhat schizophrenic people live with — the aha came when the group said we could turnthe exercise out to the audience — make the audience a ‘big brain’ that had schizophrenia and let them hear all thevoices —this grew into a re-enactment ofa ‘house ofhorrors’ that was the early Bedlam days— this served to also veryquickly move the audience out oftheir comfort zones into a new space — both unfamiliar andfrightening.TOUCHFetish — lick, drooling,Touching the audienceSlidesShadow Box? Shadow movementsDress of PovertyHalf Masks‘Cigarette Girl’ selling psychotropic drugsTASTE/SMELLCigarettesBurnt coffeeStale breadBody OdourGarbage307OFDRE4MLlIIIIIIIViItiAIIThis act will gradually evolve from Act One. This will incorporate a dance number as well that is a slow motion pieceof pairs of cast members miming entombment — pairs endlessly climbing, pushing, pulling, walking in circles etc. Anair of depression... despair. . Lights remain dark. Masks remain on. Once the dance number is complete, the cast —some of whom will go behind the shadow screens, will mime various actions related to different modes of suicide(stabbing, poisoning, hanging, etc.) The actions will start slow and gradually speed up until in a complete frenzy. Theacts of suicide continue over and over again. Then black out and the entire cast screams from the darkness. Ameliaremoves her mask and comes to the front to read her poem in a small pooi of light. Other ideas — other cast memberscome forward and read a poem they’ve written related to this theme, without masks. Each member honours thememory of someone they have heard about or who they know has committed suicide through lighting a candle andsetting these up at the edge of the performance area somewhere. These remain lit throughout the show.The idea behind this act was to demonstrate upfront the ever-presence ofdeath that many with mental disorder livewith. The deep darkness ofdespair is where many end up— the suicide ratefor schizophrenic people is alarminglyhigh. In the show we did not carry out the shadow screen aspects ofthis act — though given the venue that effect wouldhave been quite striking. Instead, each cast member read a poem they wrote about their own thoughts ofthe topic ofsuicide— that proved powerful enough — as well the candle lighting done by the audience, rather than the cast, wassomething that immediately seemed to bring the group gathered as one. The music piece we relied onfor this wasKate Bush’s “Under Ice.”11IjI?/IIJL4CTJHREE 7J4FLOQUE THROUGHHISTORYThis act served to stop the cycle of stereotyping and to start over. The audience was moved quickly through hundredsof years of “madness” history through to the present. The cast wanted to inform the local audience about the history ofmental “illness” and what that history has included- at least the high — or low points. To do this we, as a society, needto understand where our ideas and perceptions have come from. So this piece of the show will go back in history tolook at the changing perceptions and constructions of mental illness. Throughout this piece of performance there willbe nice, light airy music playing in the background. The cast will mime behind the blackout screens the variousdynamics presented out in front. Sidney will write this piece and present this to the audience. It will be presented in amanner quite similar to the inane stylings of the happy-go-lucky, ‘paid in smiles’ tour guides. There will also be somevery disturbing slides collected that will be shown to highlight what Sidney is talking about. The piece will cover veryquickly the ancient Greek/Roman conceptualizations of mental illness through the Middle Ages to present day. Ofparticular focus will be the various brutal treatments of mental illness — it is this that will be mimed, including screamsand groans from behind the screens. Sidney will end this piece by simply saying... I ask who is really running theshow? Never mind, that is just my opinion— it’s time for my meds.It became clear as a group that there are a lot ofmyths ofmental illness still around and so providing some sense ofstory or history became important. In the show there were changes — again the shadow box idea was dropped — andthe whole history piece was chopped into one main piece and several smaller pieces that were used as scenetransitions— because ofthis change dates seemed to get lost— in the run ofthe show dates were underscored. We alsodecided not to go with the cutesy delivery as this may come across as trite rather than disharmonious and dissonant.The group wanted to deliver the ‘straight goods’ in a way that the audience would listen. In this read monologue thesh/1 was being made also ofmoving the show awayfrom the depth ofdark despair and nightmare upward. just alittle bit.... into the hal/light ofliving as a “mental” in the mainstream.This act was comprised mainly of a ‘dance’ choreographed by the beautiful and talented team of Jean and Tallulah.The issues that we will try and portray will be the chaos and confusion of diagnosis and the ever-changing/arbitrarynature of medication and dosage. We start off slowly and with certainly and gradually grow in intensity and crazyconfusion — very upbeat and fast music. The group keeps going exaggerating exhaustion until when the music finallystops the group simply collapses into heaps on the floor. The music relied upon was Kate Bush’s “Jig ofLfe “- thatbegan with two rows of “doctors” in white lab coats and their big rimmed black glasses turning and doing a dosy-doeround ofshaking hands and gruffly saying “good morning” — and then out into the audience with the prescriptionpadsfilled with wild labels andprescriptions. They skip and dance through the audience throwing prescriptions likeconfetti and then head back up to the stage and they swing arm in arm in a wild jig of lfe’ — much hooting andhollering. The beginning of thejourneyfor many within the mental health system is years ofshjfting diagnoses andrapidly changing medications — one member likened their bodies to test tubes where by the ‘mad doctors’ keptshoving various medications on them until something ‘took’. This was the general tone of the act.308ACWV:OW ‘TIIEJALKABOUT ‘US’This act is the exploration of how mainstream employers describe people with psychiatric disabilities. Of particularinterest is the looking at the ‘popular press,’ the right wing and left-wing perspectives. The debates from theLegislative Assembly, the Fraser Institute, the CCPA, and the Caledon Institute were drawn upon. The scene is a one-sided hiring interview, with Sidney as the schizophrenic applicant fully qualified with a marketing degree andexperience for a marketing position —but because of employer discrimination, ignorance, and fears Sidney is reducedto frustration, sadness, desperation— ultimately accepting a night cleaning (one of the for Fs — filth — discussed inChapter 2) with several catches.This Act gets at the “handicap “faced by many disabledpeople — in particular those with psychiatric disabilities—that being the mainstream itselfand its ignorance, tightly held mythologies, fears —and arrogance ofmentaldifference. Also, included is the notion that fsomeone with a psychiatric disability (or any disability) has a credentialthat the pathway to achieving this was made easier— so the credential is not valuable. Related to this is the pressurein our society to equate earning income withfreedom— and to gain employment in this scenarios ironically meansgiving up one ‘sfreedom to virtual indenture.ACYSbC:TRIALS OF EMPLOYMENT jIIIII:SCENE ONE: Buster approaches rude counter-lady. In the background Tallulah and Amelia represent theEnteringmainstream treatment of one another— nicely and politely. Buster gets number and gets the fingerLooking for pointing to a computer (actor mimes the computer)— Amelia is ushered over for polite help fromWork supervisor. Offered coffee. Both Tallulah and Amelia put down Buster’s character as he struggleswith the computer. Buster is kicked off the computer for someone more ‘legitimate’. Tallulah andAmelia bombard Buster with insults and physically throw Buster out into the audience. To theaudience: “Now What Do I Do?”This act is the central ritual that many with psychiatric disabilities face—unemployment/employment/unemployment— this act is a compilation ofa number ofexperiencesthat occurred to cast members — the opening scene takes place in the hub of the ritual — the Eloffice— in particular, once again, how mainstream individuals talk about, at, and down to peoplewith psychiatric disabilities— while Buster, as the mental minority individual perseveres- to helpwith Buster ‘s direct interaction with the audience a ‘joker” character came out to prod and_______________provoke the audience about what was just witnessedSCENE TWO: . . ,T A Buster is confronted by Poindexter’ characters — big, shmy bowties, severe eye glasses, cold,i-ppeai impersonal, very robotic. They interview Buster about why he should have his El continued. ThePanel entire scene puts Buster’s character down. The scene ends with the chanted line, “A prudentperson does not quite one job before finding another”— this is chanted over and over with fingerwagging at Buster’s character. The El characters freeze. Buster’s character wanders slowly, in arejected way out into the audience and asks it, “Now what Do I Do?”This scene depicts the El Appeal Panel and its tendency to suspect all people as abusers ofthesystem- and all individuals— abled or disabled— as the same — there is little roomforunderstanding individual djfferences— so that what results is a rite ofjudgment that ‘beats down’marginalized individuals who: a) don’t understand the system; b) don ‘tfit the taken-for-grantedrationalist mould and c) may be impaired by mainstream attitudes, psychotropic medications, andfinding it dfficult to be heard through the onslaught ofindifference and repression309SCENE This is the combination of the Body Guard Exercise and a dance number. The motions within thisTI-tREE: scene are somewhat mechanical — to show a machine. Busters’ character — and if we have enoughFaking it people we could do this as a large mirroring exercise as well — starts fitting in with the largergroup but then the other cast members start moving faster — as this happens Buster’s characterneeds to run away — scared and panting out of breath — once Buster’s character feels comfortablehe tries to fit himself back into the group — but never quite does — he leaves again scared andexhausted— more and more scared and confused — he tries again — but runs out again — the groupeither freezes or collapses as Buster’s character collapses. Once again Buster’s character asks,“Now, what do I do?” but also adds — “How can I fit in?”This camefrom examples discussed in the group ofhow many have had to hide their mentaldiversity in order tofind ajob — and then work doubly hard to keep this hidden by ‘faking it” — asbeing typically able-bodied The movement piece is a snapshot ofall ofthis very quickly — withBuster having an increasingly dfflcult time until his character is pushed out and a new “roboticreplacement” worker enters andfits in — the question that remained open was whether thereplacement worker was another person trying to hide his ‘djfference’ or was this an able-bodiedperson. One story relayed in the group was once an employerfound out about the mental minoritystatus of the cast member — the employer piled more and more work and pressure on him until heliterally ‘snapped’ — which in the employer’s mind “confirmed” his myth ofpsychiatrically______________disabled people as “unfit”for employment.SCENE FOUR: As Buster’s character speaks to the audience in Scene Three above another cast member isFilling the Gap ushered in to fill the hole in the group left by Buster’s character. After Buster’s character hasfinished talking to the audience, Buster’s character tries to return to the group only to find that hehas been replaced. Buster’s character shrugs his shoulders and tells the audience that it seems tobe time to move on.This is the last moment in scene three above— ofthe robotic replacement worker taking overfromBuster ‘s character in the dance.C(1T1 FI’11 Getting Dressed For Work — fmding clothes, bus goes by, goes through the routine of gettingready for work but then forces outside his control undermines his effort — ends up getting firedNew Job/New over the answering machine — either empty stage or in darkness.Stress— Option This particular option was not used but was contemplated by the group as a way to show thatOne psychiatrically disabled people— like disabledpeople generally, they have more physical andmental barriers to navigate — many outside oftheir control though can be mitigated once theindividual becomes comfortable in his/her new role— the problem becomes one ofthe employernot making accommodations and so termination often results.SCENE FIVES Buster’s character moves to a ‘new job’ as a taxi driver. Perhaps a game of twister. We can usethe rope as a metaphor for telephone calls and slowly entangle Buster’s character in rope — he’sNew Job/New tied completely up and not being able to move. He drops slowly to the floor in a tangled mass ofStress— Option rope. The cast continues the phone calls — in a bombardment exercise but rather than encircle himTwo they walk over him, trampling his character and leaving him broken and in a heap. Scene endswith Buster’s character croaking, “Now What Do I Do?” This was the option we went with.Typically, when “outed” as being psychiatrically disabled (or having a source ofnon-visibleidentity d[ference) employers typically unload much higher levels ofstress and work— those whoare non-mainstream have to work much more intensely to be recognized as “the same” aseveryone else. Because ofthe excess pressure, that even non-disabled people wouldfindunbearable, the mental minority individual burns out and has to leave- pushing him or her backinto the “system.”310The three evil Poindexter figures return from the earlier scene— this time with the addition ofblack robes. As they draw around Buster’s character the audience hears ripping — and shredding—the clothes on Buster’s character are being ripped apart. The characters mime hatred and laughter.A white figure— the “fairy drug mother” from the opening scene of chaos slowly and delicatelyarrives and slowly shoos the black figures away. She hands Buster’s characters a variety of pillsand then using the Hypnosis Exercise slowly draws Buster’s character to his feet and dances withBuster until the Black figures are completely gone. The white figure with a magic wand declaresBuster’s character as healthy and ‘work-ready.’ This scene was what happened after Buster ispushed out by employers and returned back to the “system” — whereby the immediate response isto give more, dlifferent medications andpush the psychiatrically disabledperson back out to findwork — there is no consideration given that no matter how many pius are provided the issue is notwithin the person, but within society’s treatment ofhim or her. This also becomes somewhatritualized in it’s portrayal.SCENE SIX:UnemploymentENE This time Buster’s character walks straight to the audience and asks what he should do to makeSC his chances better. The same characters as the first El office scene are there. Have the audienceSEVEN: The walk Buster through the scene quickly— hopefully end with Buster’ character having a new job.ritual repeats— And so the ritual ofunemployment resumes — with much more audience interaction/dialogue toLooking for sum up the topic ofemployment and mental minority people. At thefringefestival an audiencework member came on stage to help out Buster.IiiSCENE ONE: A family night of playing cards. Sidney is the father-in-law, Glenda is the mother-in-law, AmeliaA Family is the son and Tallulah is the daughter-in-law. Glenda’s, Sidney’s, and Amelia’s characters talkGathering about Tallulah’s character as though Tallulah’s character isn’t even there. Tallulah’s character isdescribed as a burden, delicate, hysterical, etc. When Tallulah’s character speaks she is describedas ‘cute.’ Scene ends when Tallulah’s character has to go to the doctor’s office because she is“suddenly” screaming in hysteria. This scene was drawn outfrom Tallulah ‘s past l(fe with hercurrent boyfriend (who watched the show)— the underlying moment depicted here was howmainstream people talk about disabledpeople as things, even when they are in the room— thatany action carried out by a psychiatrically disabledperson immediately becomes pathologized—the arrogance and condescension ofthe mainstream toward dj/ference— and topics of the”taboo” ofdisabledpeople marrying able-bodiedpeople, the “sin” ofpsychiatrically disabledpeople having sex, and having children— thefear that thefamily “closet” cannot conceal mentaldiversity “awayfrom the prying eyes ofneighbours”— and critical— that the act oflovingsomeone with psychiatric disabilities (or a disability) can be likened to “ajob”- or “the cross onebears” — the disability becomes the thing that is attended to, rather than the person’s needsforlove and support.SCENE TW• Glenda is the patient; Tallulah is the doctor; Sidney is the alter ego of Tallulah and Amelia is thealter Ego of Glenda. A patient visits the doctor’s office for a check-up, new medication, etc. AsA Doctor s Glenda’s character and Tallulah’s character talk in polite doctor/patient tones, Amelia’s characterConcern and Sidney’s character reveal the hidden thoughts that aren’t normally heard. Ends withTallulah’s character receiving oodles of drugs and the doctor counting his money.This scene was born out ofa theatre exercise called ‘ ‘Alter Egos “- the cast took this furtherwondering what sorts ofthings go on in the minds ofdoctors andpatients— and so this scene wasdeveloped whereby there is the public dialogue that goes on in a doctor’s office and two privatemonologues that transpire in the minds ofeach individual— the aha moment here was that thedoctor wasfocussedpredominantly on the patient as depositoryfor medications and theinadvertent construction ofpsychiatrist as drug salesman while the patient was really running amonologue to herselfabout herselfin reaction to the doctor— a monologue that constructsvictimization.311This can be a short scene showing how pills are used to control patients. A take off of the ThreeSCENE Bears: One not enough, one too much and one just right. Can also use pills as the way ofTHREE: A controlling patients’ needs and desires— to suit those of the nurse rather than the patient. WhileNurse s this scene was not included in the play — largely because oftime — the premise ofthe scene was toConcern illustrate that drugs are often used as aform ofsocial control ofpatients or mentally disorderedpeople who behave “inappropriately “. The three bears idea camefrom: I) comatose— too much______________medication; 2) energetic patient — not enough medication; 3) docile but awake —just enough.SCENE FOUR: A Dr. Ruth character and possibly a second person— the caller. Shadow screens can be used toA Late Night mime some of the action. Go through the whole scenario of the date ad (on a slide), falling inPhone Call love, dating, marriage, children, etc. Caller’s Question: Does marriage make sane people mental?One evening we were talking about the erasure ofsexuality with regard to conceptualizingpsychiatrically disabled people. Within mental health circles sexuality and mental health are justnot considered— and homosexuality and mental health— doubly so. Whatfell out ofourdiscussion was a satire ofthe “romantic ad” within the ableist world and a running commentaryofsexuality, sexual relationships and trying tofit this into the rational world ofableist society.And that in the end the marital dfficulties ofthe broader world are similar to those in the mentalworld — except that the pressures are cocooned within the endless judging ofothers and theinsecurities ofmental minorities wanting a loving, committed relationship— but having thisrepeatedly nulflfied by those who simply are not in a position to know. The idea ofthe late nightradio talk show and speaking about sexuality, is one ofboth being anonymous/invisible whileraising the topic of in the non-visibility ofthe topic— ironically to a mainstream representative—but the answer remains unspoken andpossibly unheard — as it seems to be (Un) intentionallywithin the broader world.SCENE FIVES This Scene is a double ceremony of death and birth. The priest character supervises the ritual ofdeath of normalcy. Each of the cast goes out into the audience and encourages people to come andDouble view the ‘body of normalcy’ and publicly declare what the end of normalcy may mean toCeremony of themselves or someone who is marginalized. The cast starts off the long procession before theNormalcy ‘coffin’: Burying normalcy may mean (examples): trust of others, loss of family, friends, loss ofemployment, loss of education (past or future), self worth, identity, marriage, children, freedom,retirement, independence, etc. These declarations should be said out loud for the audience to hear— in the hope that they will have ideas they wish to share. The second part of the ceremony is thatonce the death of normalcy has occurred there is a birth that occurs — the birth of marginalizationor ‘deviancy’— as the mourners pass by the coffin, they pass through some opening into anotherceremony of white which is the birth of deviancy including (examples): low self-esteem, doubt,depression, loneliness, poverty, alienation, isolation, never being considered fully human, fakingit, embarrassment, shame, guilt, crying alone, pain, never escaping. The scene became much moresimp4fied with a “priest” overseeing the proceedings andflowers/fire to mark passages — thedouble ceremony is firstly the loss/death ofnormalcy, and the second being the birth ofdeviance— while we did attempt to have audience members join in the procession, many stated they wereafraid ofdisclosing such a personal aspect ofthemselves — which seemed to highlight morepowerfully the effort being undertaken by the cast.Take the audience on a tour of mental illness behaviours, each cast member demonstratesSCENE SIX: something. There is a sign posted by each cast member, such as: Bi-Polar, Depression,Gallery of Agoraphobia, Obsessive-Compulsive; Addictions, Anxiety, Schizophrenia, among others. TheBehaviours audience tours these exhibits. The tour guide asks if the group is from the mental health hospital.Finds out they aren’t— panics and has the signs flipped by the cast member to read commonworkplace behaviours, with signs reading: Moody, Wallflower, Detail-Oriented, Party Animal,Thinks Out Loud, Conspiracy Theorists, Whistleblower, etc. What occurred was a discussionabout how psychiatrically disabledpeople become labelled in a number ofways— the question—howdto labels work? The answer was this scene.., the premise ofthe piece was the audience wasan auditorium ofdoctors coming to see “typical” behaviours ofmentally disorderedpatients— sovarious “patients” complete with signs demonstrate their behaviours— when it is found out thatthe audience is really human resource professionals wanting to know what “typical” types ofworker behaviours are— well the dual labelfor singular behaviours problematizes the wholenotion oflabel construction.312This scene opens with a loud, car-salesman type of Premier Gordon Campbell (Hawaiian shirt,SCENE FIVE,martini glass) opening up the doors to BC— selling absolutely everything: BC Ferries, BC Hydro,BC s New Era ICBC, etc — only to rent back everything at huge prices. Also the cutting of the Human RightsCommission, Legal Aid, etc. After a few minutes of this, the Campbell figure fades to thebackground continuing his wild selling actions but the voice drops to a whisper. Up front are twogovernment characters like a pinball machine bouncing one or two people back and forth — thesepeople are trying to access services but keep getting bounced. At one point one of the peoplemakes a distress call to a call centre — at this point the Campbell figure goes on about how they’velocated a province-wide emergency call centre in Chile — cheaper wages — which hints at some ofthe foreign suppliers being paid for providing the distinctly British Columbia image. Anothermoment another person approaches the Campbell figure directly only to be told by the Campbellfigure that he does not deal with petty details like that (someone being cut off from welfareperhaps)— to see the proper agency — only to be met with a busy signal. This scene was byfar themost Political ofthe scenes — because ofwhat the current government cuts and selling ofthecommon wealth has done to services to those most vulnerable and most silenced. While it wasquite cutting in its critique ofwhat has been systematically going on... it was also made play-full —it voiced what a lot ofaudience members felt as well — this commentary was striking because ofwho was critiquing.SCENE SIX: A scene here?Corporate We didn’t develop this ideafurther; however, the notion that was raised by a cast member wasWelfare/Public thatjust like the notion of “drain on society” being largely constructed as disability paymentSupport recipients... that the mainstream has to look at the concept of “welfare” more broadly. Taxholidays, corporate subsidies and other “incentives” being granted to individual millionaires(corporations are legal persons)to relocate was considered hypocritical — it seemed that faperson is wealthy, educated, powerful that receiving payments or handouts were considered okay,while those who need this money to survive because they are not able to work or are not able tobefully employed are constructed negatively.J1IJII!1 ItIWILM1N SEI JIFLQNL1HEIJNE gigIhft1CflEM TalIulah as doctor, Amelia as patient, Joan as helper-patient. Amelia’s character meets the doctor“.‘-“ but is deaf. She tries communicating but the doctor ignores Amelia’s character. Amelia isBlind Leading eventually handed medication and told to be on her way. Amelia runs into fellow patient, Joan,the Blind? who is the next appointment. Amelia signs the misdiagnosis to Joan who says the story out loudso audience can hear. Joan takes Amelia back into the doctor’s office who simply says — whydidn’t she say anything? Not my fault!This scene was drawnfrom an individual past history and reshaped somewhat to protect thepeople portrayed. The story is one of pathologizing behaviour when it should not be pathologized— a patient is non-responsive with a psychiatrist because she is deaf— the result is the mixing ofdeadly medications that could be potentially deadly. When this is raised the psychiatrist’sresponse was simply — not myfault — she should have said something! This scene describes a“disconnection” between patient and doctor— one created by the psychiatrist. The other point ofthis story was that it is often patients helping/protecting patients within the system rather than“helping professionals” — and lastly the notion ofnon-visibility or virtual erasure ofthepersonhood ofthe individual seeking help and becoming destroyed by ill-informedprofessions iswhat raised the self-described label of “survivor” within disability studies.314FGlenda is recent social work grad that enters the office space. Things start slowly and then build —EN TWO. phone rings, appointments become backed up, files get stacked up, etc. This is set up like anOffice obstacle course that Glenda tries, eventually in vain to get through but is ultimately conquered andOverload is spat out. She collapses and is stamped “On Stress Leave”. Julia enters as the next new socialwork grad and turns to face the chaos of the office overload.The point ofthis vignette was to highlight the plight ofsocial workers — and why perhaps thereare errors — there are simplyfewer andfewer ofthem. Also, there is a misconception that thosewith mental disconnections are onlyfrom lower socio-economic classes, un/der educated and soon — but that burn out and depression are hitting the higher socio-economic and educated classesat ever-increasing rates ...societyjust seems to label it differently to reduce stigma. Within thisscene is also the cycle ofburn out, particularly among idealistic, recent graduates thatfind the_________________system beyond their control adding to the stress and “mental illness.”-SEN Amelia is the patient who has come in to seek help from Jean, a social worker. Amelia’s characteris on the verge of suicide and is having suicidal feelings. As Amelia’s character - in a deep,THREE. depressed monotone tells of her struggles not to commit suicide, Jean’s character slowly fallsBedtime stoly asleep. Amelia’s character completing her story looks at Jean’s character to find Jean asleep. Shenudges Jean’s character awake and Jean asks is everything all right? And Amelia’s character says,‘Oh yeah, fine.”This was the other very true, very personal story that was in the play — takenfrom the flfe ofAmelia. The experience is ofthe complete disconnection and breakdown between helpingprofession and patient— marked by the psychiatric nurse/social workerfigurefalling asleep asthe patient, Amelia, goes into great detail about her planned suicide. While some concern wasraised about this story ‘s inclusion, Amelia really wanted to see it there as a reminder to bothpatients and helping professionals — that this happens and that those with power have a helping____responsibility that must be taken seriously — always.SCENE FOUR• This scene is set up like British Bull-Dog or Red Rover — two lines — one positive, the othernegative— all of family members. Buster turns to the audience to say that his character is newlyFamily Tug of diagnosed and has to tell his family and friends. He is sling-shot back and forth between theWar supporter and rejecters until the end of the line turns into a bombardment of rejection and supportand all hands upraised.This scene marks the beginning ofthe cycle ofcare giving with the new or changed diagnosis ofaperson with regard to psychiatric disability. When “normal “people around the newly diagnosedpersonfind out there is inevitably a split that occurs — some who provide unconditionalacceptance and those who allowfear and ignorance to push that individual away — often when heor she most needs support. Some things negatively that were raised was: prayer will heal themental “illness “, just “buck up” and don ‘t be “weak-willed”, or “don ‘t tell the neighbours”versus the positive — “we love you “, or “let me know what I can do to help you” or “I ‘Ii be there___every step ofthe way.”SCENE FIVE Perhaps a scene in here of all caregivers overloading the audience-as-patient on helpful advice —bombardment exercise again?We didn ‘t directly develop this exercisefurther but we wanted to use the bombardment exerciseto highlight how mental minorities oftenfeel — the power oftheir own healing orfinding their ownreconnections is often tornfrom their hands by well-meaningfriends, family, andprofessionals —everyone seems to have ‘suggestions” that should befollowed. Rather than asking what a personneeds or wants support systems often tell, talk at, and order— creating a co-dependency betweenboth care giver and care receiver. The over riding message is that support is sought but howindividual lives are lived ultimately reside within the person who lives in the world.315SCENE SIX: The scene is a cheering section of pride of having mental illness.The pep rally “Give me an M; Give me an E; Give me an N; Give me a T; Give me an A; Give me an L! Whatof pride does it spell — MENTAL - We are the same as you! GO MENTAL GO MENTAL GO MENTALThis scene marked the turning point in the overall process oftheatre creation when one castmember sat up and said... “Why all this talk ofsickness... .1 ‘m not sick... I don ‘tfeel sick. I’mProud ofwho lam and HOWl think ... other cast members joined in and emerging out ofthe castcame the chant heard near the end ofthe play — to shout this out into the community was one ofthe most powerfully striking moments ofthe production —for the cast and the audience. Containedin the chant was also the play’s main message. . “WE ARE THE SAME. “- which coincidentallywas Canada’s Mental Health Week sloganfor 2003 (the main performance was held on the last____________day ofthat week).WIII?IEI1 1IrILACT NDThis could be one scene that demonstrates a number of ways of helping people living with mental illness — a gallery ofsuggestions including: Listening to all viewpoints, include the family as source of information and help, talk aboutmental illness openly— move the topic out of the closet; Be a Friend; Don’t Judge — Get To Know; Celebrate theContributions of people with mental illness (Beauty Pageant) etc. End this scene What Do People Living with MentalDisability require from a caregiver: non-judgmental, be educated on the issues, be consistent, be broad-minded, giveunconditional support and love, be perceptive, give clear boundaries, have a clear sense of the ‘big picture’— benetworked into the community; give, know when to let go of the person living with mental disabilities so he or she canwalk on their own, be adaptive and be able to change as the person with mental disabilities grows, changes — don’ttreat the illness, support the person, more public and community-wide initiatives around people living with mentaldisabilities.This act marked the end ofthe performance — with a series ofshort tableaux ofbuilding community that included thefull participation ofmental minorities. To add to this, as a backdrop, two overheads wereflashed up on the wallbehind: What Attributes Make a Good Care Giver and; Things Needed to Improve Lives For People Living WithMental Illness. The reasonfor mental “illness” was in part because old language dies hard, and there is a strongmedical language that is retained by the cast in the many have had to adopt the language ofthe medical authorities —in order to navigate the medical system that is such a ubiquitous aspect oftheir lives and oftheir personhood. Theoverheads were also provided as handouts in the programfor people to take with them and consider — moving thematerialpresented as theatre into the broader lives ofthe community/audience.The very end ofthe play was thefirst aspect the cast agreed upon and wanted to include: each cast member wanted topublicly thank people in the audience who have been there to support them and extend hugs andflowers — and tears ofopen, honest, frank gratitude— that had the room on itsfeet and everyone’s eyesfilled with liquid emotion thatoverflowed into the space. I get choked up when I reflect on that time.Then to end the play and open up dialogue cast members publicly acknowledge people close to them and have themcome up to the performance space. Sidney comes out and then simply says that we, the cast would like to talk directlywith the audience about what they’ve seen and heard.The aim was to have a structured debriefing with the cast/audience — however, the main production ran two hoursstraight, ending at 8:30pm— so some audience left but many stayed— and the cast and audience spaces opened upand merged into area where everyone talks openly with one another — sharing instant reactions, hugs, questions andstories. The life ofcommunity images merge into images ofcommunity flfe.ijAnd that following the discussion there will be food and celebration of the event. A popular theatre event justwouldn ‘t be complete withoutfood and celebration. This was my personal gift to the cast — muchfood and cake toshare — it’s one thing tofeed the soul and mind — but to feed the body as well makes the experience completesomehow. And the celebration lastedfor a couple ofhours before the cast andl all headed to a world music danceheld up the street— as anyone in theatre knows after a show there is a lot ofadrenaline and a dance was just what thecast needed to celebratefor itselfthe amazing experience oflearning, performing and teaching that marked thispowerful experience.316APPENDIX ILOCAL NEWS STORY OF THE SHOWLIfe for the mentally ill ciets Shaken unBy Peter RuslandFrances Farmer wouldhave loved Saturday’slocal show Shaken: NotDisturbed ... With ATwist staged in theCowichan Exhibition’spoultry barn.Director/actor/PhDstudent Steve Noble andhis 12-member caststaged a battery ofhome-spun scenes.They use mime, props,music, song, lightingand history and dialogueto perfectly underlinethe type of injustice andbrutality that led toSeattle actress Farmer’ssecret lobotomy in the1940s.Noble’s cast also hit themark at remindingabout 300 viewersaboutmisunderstandings ofmental illness and ways Fileto build bridges of Actors use masks to represent what mentally illpeople use to cope in society during Shaken, Not10 Disturbed.And who better toconfront those issues than people dealing daily with various levels ofmental illness?Their fight for funding is shown in Hoops For Money where an actressis led though hula hoops; the flood of overmedication is illustrated inA Doctor’s Concern and A Nurses’ Concern in which actors are simplygiven drugs to veil real solutions to mental conditions.Issues of suicide and diagnosis of mental illness were marked by thecrowd lighting candles in memory of those lost and affected.A scene involving The Government Office Of Silly Answers parodiesthe stigma of mental illness and the system’s inane answers.Dressed in a loud Hawaiian shirt, Noble mocks the hucksterism of theCampbell government’s New Era document.In A Day At The Grocery Store, doctors and drug companies receive317bags of money while patients have just enough to buy noodles,which were tossed into the crowd.But the show also offers ways in which caregivers and citizens candeal with the mentally ill through education, communication,friendship, and understanding.To be sure, Shaken is a noble way of reaching out to our community.Despite some scene dragging and distant dialogue, Shaken is a sortof yellow brick road to Oz’s courage, heart and brain.For those who missed Saturday’s sensational show, Noble and histroupe are talking about mounting a show with different material thisfall.He’s also looking for more audience focus groups to talk about theshow and the meaning they gleaned from it. Call 715-1815.Community awareness play rating: 8.5 pills out of 10.318"@en ; edm:hasType "Thesis/Dissertation"@en ; edm:isShownAt "10.14288/1.0105020"@en ; dcterms:language "eng"@en ; ns0:degreeDiscipline "Educational Studies"@en ; edm:provider "Vancouver : University of British Columbia Library"@en ; dcterms:publisher "University of British Columbia"@en ; dcterms:rights "For non-commercial purposes only, such as research, private study and education. Additional conditions apply, see Terms of Use https://open.library.ubc.ca/terms_of_use."@en ; ns0:scholarLevel "Graduate"@en ; dcterms:title "Rural adult popular education performatively inquiring into psychiatric experiences"@en ; dcterms:type "Text"@en ; ns0:identifierURI "http://hdl.handle.net/2429/38343"@en .