"CONTENTdm"@en . "http://resolve.library.ubc.ca/cgi-bin/catsearch?bid=1229713"@en . "University Publications"@en . "2016-07-19"@en . "1992-09-21"@en . "https://open.library.ubc.ca/collections/the432/items/1.0000704/source.json"@en . "application/pdf"@en . " IMBIBO ERGO SUM\n\u00E2\u0096\u00A0\u00E2\u0096\u00A0\u00E2\u0096\u00A0\u00E2\u0096\u00A0 lMBltfU HKL,U MJM\nTHUD\n00\nThe Newspaper For Science Students Vol 6No2f 21 Sept '92\nWhy is Thud necessary?\nIn truth, we're not quite sure.\nIt just seemed like a swell idea\nat the time, and a new, fresh\napproach to the art of cutting\nother people down. Nineties\nthing.\nBut what really did it was an\narticle on the comics page of\nMonday's Financial Post.\nApparently, the Canadian government used a public opinion\npoll to have the beaver, Canada's\nnational animal, removed from\nthe five-cent coin and replaced\nwith world-famous Family\nCircus character Barfy. One-\nthird of adults surveyed stressed\nthat we should \"hang that twit\nMulroney from the Commons\nflagpole by his ying-yang,\" and\nat least half said that the poll\nwas \"a bloody waste of time,\n'cuz now I'm not gonna make it\nto the drugstore in time to play\n6/49. Bigbigbigbigbigbigbig,\nbigbigbig.bigbigbig...\"\nBut this paper is based on a\ncompletely different concept. If\nyou have a rare foot disease,\ncrooked teeth, a column in the\nUbyssey or anything else that\nmight suggest you don't really\nthink about working on a newspaper, then Thud is for you.\nThis is just a beginning. (Of\ncourse, it may very well be the\nend as well, but we won't tell if\nyou won't.\nThud is just a idea. A sound\neffect from a Batman comic. It\nneeds you to make it happen.\nNot fuckin' likely.\nSUS to hold Election with\nhypothetical candidates\nThe Science Undergrad is\nhaving its 92/93 Year and\nDepartment Rep Elections in\nearly October. The nominations for the 33 positions are\nbeing accepted now in CHEM\n160, the SUS office. The\ndeadline is Wednesday\nSeptember 23rd, at 5:30pm in\nthe SUS office. We need three\n4th year reps, three 3rd years,\nthree 2nd years and last but not\nleast, two 1st years. There are\nalso positions for the departments, which include:\nBiochemistry, Chemistry,\nPhysics, Psychology etc. In\norder to be eligible to be a\ndepartment rep, you have to be\nin that department's major or\nhonors program. So, sorry to\nyou first year keeners, but you\ncan't, go for those positions.\nFor those wondering, the\nduties of these \"officers of\nCouncil\" are:\n\u00E2\u0080\u00A2 to regularly attend Council\nmeetings;\n\u00E2\u0080\u00A2 to regualrly attend Academic\nCoucil meetings;\n\u00E2\u0080\u00A2 to announce, in class, and\npost banners and posters for\nupcoming SUS events as\nrequested by council;\n\u00E2\u0080\u00A2 to attend the Faculty of\nScience meetings as representatives of their year;\n\u00E2\u0080\u00A2 to regularly attend Grad\nClass meetings if you are a\n4th year rep; and\n\u00E2\u0080\u00A2 to submit end of the year rec\nommendations by April 1st,\n1993\nSUS Council, in addition to\nbeing a place of work, is also a\ngreat place to meet people. So,\nif you have some spare time,\ncome into CHEM 160 and\ngrab a nomination form or sign\nup for a committee. You\nwon't regret it!\nOFFICIAL .EFFORT AT\nDRAINING THIS LAST\n01= TONIER FROM\nOUR I.A5J.ER PRINTIER.\nSUS/ETJS border skirmish r.aises\ntension, threatens peace\nKevin Phillips Bong\nRoving Correspondent\nVANCOUVER (Reuters) -\nRelations between the Science\nand Engineering\nUndergraduate Societies of\nUBC suffered a blow last week\nwhen \"limited acts of aggression\" were reported to have\noccurred between the two factions.\nAccording to SUS\nExecutive Secretary Stewart\nHung, \"an incident took place\nlast week, during which certain\nsensitive pieces of property\nwere removed\" from each faculty by the other. Few other\nofficial details were available\nat press time, other than that\nthe affair \"holds serious implications for the future of\nSUS/EUS relations.\"\nWitnesses to the skirmish\nclaimed that it occurred at the\nEssentially UBC first-year\ninformation function, taking\nplace at Place Vanier\nResidence. A cement replica of\nthe Engineers' Cairn was\nremoved from the Applied\nScience display, alledgedly by\nSUS personnel.\nGeorox President Mark\nMontgomery protested fiercely, but promised no further\nINGREDIENTS:\nOVER 95% OF CONTENTS CONSIST OF SODIUM\nHYPOCHLORITE, GRAPHITE, POLYMERIZED HYDROCARBONS, AND TREES. LESS THAN 5% CONSIST OF THE\nEDITOR TAPPING INTO HIS PRIMAL SELF, THE PREMIERE\nOF SPACE SPRUCE (PAGE 2), SOCIAL DISEASES, WALK\nHOME PLUG, SCIENCE WEEK (PAGE 3), ANGRY DUCK,\nLAB RATS (PAGE 4), DIK MILLER - CAMPUS ENFORCER\n(PAGE 5), YET ANOTHER SELL-OUT TO THE MAN (PAGE\n6), ONE VERY LARGE MUNDANE DUMPSTER (PAGE 7),\nROGER WATTS DRIES OUT (PAGE 8).\n\"YES, WELL. THAT'S THE SORT OF BLINKERED,\nPHILISTINE PIG IGNORANCE I'VE COME TOtXPECT\nFROM YOU NON-CREATIVE GARBAGE...\"\nJOHNCLEESE\n\u00C2\u00A9 1992 SCIENCE UNDERGRAD SOCIETY PUBLICATIONS.\naction on the matter if the\nCaim was promptly returned.\n\"Yeah, they brought it back\njust like the 'geers asked,\"\ncommented SUS President\nCarmen McKnight. \"I mean,\nthey didn't specify what color\nit had to be when it came back,\nbut they did give it back. So in\nmy opinion, the thieves lived\nup to their end of the bargain... I think. Besides, it\nlooks so much prettier in\nblue...\"\nHowever, the official SUS\nflag was stolen soon after,\nwhich has to date not been\nreturned or ransomed. No suspects haveyet been detained by\nSUS. Investigations continue.\n\"Yes, things are a bit delicate at the moment,\" commented SUS External Vice-\nPresident Roger Watts. \"We\nhope to achieve a reasonable\ncompromise soon, through civilized and diplomatic means. If\nnot, I guess we'll just have to\nsettle for bloodthirsty war, like\nin the good ol' days.. .uh, you\naren't gonna print that last bit,\nare you?\"\nElectrical Engineering Beer\nDemi-God Johan Thornton\nwas drunk and in jail at press\ntime, and was consequently\nunavailable for comment.\n\"Oo! Man, that's annoying... hey, Bob? Grab a newspaper or somethin'. I can\nfeel something crawling around on my shoulder...just smack it off, will ya?\"\n68030 95820 The Four Thirty-Two Vol 6 No 2 jf 21 Sept '92\nSafari and the Shrum Bowl\nOctet 'fy&K V&*\n^^m Vetera\ni\nRyan\nMcCUW\nMy life recently took a turn\nfor the peachy. I discovered\nthat my rate of consumption of\nHalf n' Half was exceeding its\nrate of curdling \u00E2\u0080\u0094 in other\nwords, I'm actually drinking\nenough coffee to have the only\nfridge on campus in which the\nHalf n' Half isn't in a congealed block. Not a good\nsign...\nAnyway, it's now time for a\nfew things that I decided you\nshould know. (Don't blame\nme. Have a chat with the 2%\nof all Science students who\nactually voted for me). Here\ngoes:\n1) It is actually possible to\nflush an electric razor down a\ntoilet. Accidentally, even. My\nroommate succeeded in doing\nso this morning. We're\nallegedly getting it fixed\ntomorrow, but I've begun to\nsuspect that the Housing work\norders are actually just\nbleached and turned into that\nfamous rez single-ply bathroom sandpaper. Fortunately,\nthis whole situation frees up a\nlot of otherwise committed\nPurex Pillowy Soft (from our\nown stash, of course) forthe\npurpose of initiating my quad-\nmate to the joys of a bare\nGillette. Funny how things\nwork out. (Girls, you may\nthink you understand that one,\nwhat with shaving yer legs n'\nall. However, as a former competitive swimmer, let me tell\nyou that a calf nick is pretty\ntrivial in comparison to a good\nthroat wound).\n2) The most hazardous piece\nof furniture known to man, at\nleast on first acquaintance, has\nto be a loft (ie. a bunk bed with\nno lower bunk). I installed one\nlast weekend. My first night at\naltitude, I overslept. In my\nhaste, I sat up quickly, forgetting that I was now two full\nmetres closer to my ceiling.\nOw. However, those of you\nwith a good memory will\nrecall that SUS ExVP Roger\nWatts built a similar structure\nlast year. I managed my first\nearly-morning plummet without quite as much carnage, so\nlife's pretty okay, I guess.\n3) I was at the Shrum Bowl\nlast weekend. I confess: I had\nsomeone paint a big yellow\nthunderbolt down the middle\nof my face, and I didn't act\nlike a proper UBC student I\nthink I may have participated\nin a cheer or two. The horror\nofitall...\nAnyway, I'll try not to steal\nany of the thunder from\nRoger's article later in this\nissue. But, for those of you\nwho've never been to the\nShrum Bowl, it's quite an\nexperience. Don't go for the\nfootball \u00E2\u0080\u0094 it's unlikely that\nyou'll be able to pay attention\nto the game anyway. Go for\nthe \"group dynamics\". Imagine\nthe results when you assemble\na mob of hosed guys \u00E2\u0080\u0094 many\nof whom are in pituitary overdrive anyway \u00E2\u0080\u0094 and let them\nparticipate in the good old\n\"male bonding\" tradition of\ngoing to a football game. Let's\njust say that it provided a good\njustification for exploring the\nidea of \"effective versus real\nIQ\".\nI'm told that in past years,\nthe RCMP have maintained a\n10-metre \"No Man's Land\"\nbetween SFU and UBC fans.\nThe thinking this year was\npossibly that, were \"the Wall\"\nto come down, we'd all\nbecome nice and happy and\ndocile, and maybe even negotiate an economic union or two.\nIt worked in Eastern Europe,\nbut the organizers forgot that\nonly in Alberta do football\nplayers and politics mix (with\nresults that, well, grunt for\nthemselves).\nI admit it I felt the call. You\nreally do get an overriding\nurge to do something childish\nand stupid (later, the official\nexcuse for this will be that\none's nards merrily produced a\nwee bit too much testosterone).\nEven with a clear head water\nballoon bombardment still\nsounds like a lot of fun, but in\nthe heat of the moment it actually didn't seem at all stupid.\n(I'm not above doing stupid\nthings \u00E2\u0080\u0094 but I do take them\nfor what they are.) Must have\nbeen one of those impulses\narising from the brainstem. I\nthink forebrain functions\nkicked back in when I watched\nour ExVP Roger sack some\nSFU moron in a kilt, and then\nget face-planted under roughly\ntwo dozen similarly non-reasoning \"primal man\"-type\nUBC fans. After this particular\nincident, UBC and SFU fans\nbegan to \"male bond\" with\neach other vigourously, resulting in several ejections from\nthe stadium.\nIn the midst of my personal\nself-discovery at the Shrum\nBowl, I think I discovered the\nessence of the male psyche.\nAnd I'd like to end the article\non that note. It can be summarized in a few short lines of\nverse, which are at once poetic\nand primal, as well as touching.\n... and sensitive. Here goes:\n\"I'm an asshole!\nI'm an asshole!\nAnd all my friends are assholes too!\nBut I'd rather be an asshole\nThan a butt-fucHn' SFU!\"\nw\n-j\nSMMB\nfmm\ngo\nGO\n3\nIII\n\u00E2\u0096\u00A0\no\nO\nCD\n2\nIII\nd^Zj\nQ\ CD +\> \\nNotice To All SUS Hacks!\nSUS Council will be meeting at 1:30\npm on Tuesday, September22m SUB\n206 (the Council Chambers).\nJust so's ya know when to come in\nand say \"baaaaah!\" for us, 'n all. Vol6No2 X 2lSept'92 The Four Thirty-Two\nSocial Diseases\nThe Bogeyman Revisited\nRoger Watts\nSUS ExVP and SoCo\nWelcome to the most important part of this newspaper.\nThis is the little bit where I get\nserious for a minute (yeah,\nright) and tell you about all the\nwonderful wonderful events\nthat SUS puts on over the\ncourse of the year. In other\nwords, if you're ever really\nhard up for an excuse not to\nstudy Microbi, this is the first\nplace you should look.\nI'd just like to begin by saying that no less than sixteen\npeople have signed their lives\naway to the SUS Social\nCommittee in the last week,\nand believe me, that's an army\nin this neck of the woods. Way\nto go, troops! If anyone else:\nout there is interested in helping put on dances and the like,\nfeel free to come by and chat\n(I'm in MWF 10:30-11:30), or\ndrop a short note (ie. contract\nsigned in blood) in my box,\ndown in the SUS Office. (And\nit better be your own blood -\npinching rat's blood from your\nVertebrate Bi lab doesn't\ncount.)\nOr, if you want, just show\nup at SUS at 7:00 on Tuesday,\nSeptember 22nd. We're having\na Decorating Party for the float\nthat we'll be running in the\nHomecoming Parade on\nThursday, and I'm sure there\nwill be ample refreshments\n(say, pizza n' pop n' maybe:\neven a little bzzr) for all the:\nkind folks that show up and\nhelp out. If you can't make it\nTuesday, be sure not to miiis\nthe parade itself on Thursday.\nIt promises to be a beauty -\ntrust me. (Ooo! Look!\nForeshadowing! And you\nthought you took English 100\nfor nothing!) We'd love to see\nScience support out there, so\nshow your spirit and come on\nout. Strength in numbers and\nall.\nAnd last, but oh so certainly\nnot least, be sure to attend the\nfirst Science Bzzr Garden, on\nWednesday, September 23rd,\nin the SUB Partyroom. The\namber nectar starts flowing at\n4:32 pm sharp (natch!), and for\na mere loonie a cup, it's the\nbest buy in town. So come on\nby and have a few (dozen) on\nthe way to the Pit. And that's\nabout it, really - see you\nThursday! (And Tuesday, too.)\nLeona\nADAMS\nWhen you were growing up,\ndid your parents ever tell you\nthat if you didn't behave, some\nmalevolent creature would\ncome and get you? Well, they\nwere only partly right; whether\nyou're angelic or downright\nawful by society's standards,\nat some point in your life the\nbogeyman will get you. You\ndon't grow out of it, you grow\ninto it. When you're a kid, the\nbogeyman is some variation on\nthe old geezer with three teeth\nand Swiss army knives for\nhands who eats kids for breakfast, lunch and dinner. But\nnow you're older and more\nsophisticated. So is he. For\nsome of us, he's the prof\nwhose approval or lack thereof\ncould make the difference\nbetween med school and flipping burgers for the rest of our\nlives. For others, he's the cop\nin the rearview mirror or the\nparents of a prospective\nboy/girlfriend. However, for\nan uncomfortably high percentage of us, he's the faceless\nman who lurks in the bushes as\nwe walk around campus at\nnight.\nThat last one we can do\nsomething about, which is one\nof the reasons that I am a volunteer coordinator for the\nAMS Walk Home Program.\nFor those of you who are unfamiliar with it, Walk Home is a\ntwo-year-old program whose\npurpose is to help people (no,\nit's not just for women) feel\nmore comfortable on campus\nat night by escorting them\nfrom one place to another.\nIn case you didn't notice,\nthe key word in that paragraph\nis \"volunteer\". (We want you!\nWe want you!! We want you\nas a new recruit!) Why should\nyou volunteer? You mean that\nthe fact that I'm asking you\npolitely (please, pretty please?)\nisn't enough? How about the\nFREE T-shirts? How about\nthe fact that it looks pretty\ndarned neat on a resume?\nSatisfied yet? How about\nexercise? How about studying\n(or whatever) between walks?\nStill not enough? Okay,\nyou've forced me to bring out\nthe heavy artillery: how about\nmeeting new people? If Walk\nHome isn't one of the best\nways in the known universe to\nmeet relatively sane, occasionally available people, I don't\nknow what is. You might even\nmeet me. What more could\nyou ask?\nTo volunteer, contact\nCaireen (the D of A) at 822-\n3961 or drop us a note in SUB\n238.\nTHUD\n-A special\nedition of\nJL\nJurgen Thud\u00E2\u0080\u0094Founder\nRyan McCuaig\nEditor and Executive Scapegoat\nA\nEDITORIAL\nContributing Writers Leona Adams, Janice Boyle,\nLica Chut, Aaron Drake, Zain Khandwala, Patrick\nLum, Carmen McKnight, Derek Miller, Chris Sing,\nSarah Thornton, and with me as always Is Rag.\nParty on, Rog.\nX\nART and DESIGN\nLayout RyanMcCuaig\nContributing Artists Michael Chow,\nAaron Drake, Roger Watts.\nX\nPRODUCTION\nDesktop Production Claude and Wile E.\nPrinter CollegePrinters, Ltd. Vancouver\nDistributor E-Fish-ent Distributors, Inc.\n21 SnptDmbBr 1 Sm, Vol 6, No 2\nr/\u00C2\u00BB 4Jf is put\u00C2\u00BBsM Mly by tie Sce.xB Undergraduate Socety of\nUBC, Somewhere close to Main Mail and University Bhrd. We generaly\nmake cuts hats out of our mail, especially the politically correct stuff, so\ndonl bother sending any.\nThe Truth about Science Week '93\nSoJ8h Thomion denial. I tried to make him\nScience Week Coordinator\nJust the other night, (Last\nFriday, in fact), while standing\naround at some social function\n(the AMS BBQ, I think it\nwas), I happened to be talking\nto this good friend of mine. I\nnoticed he was beginning to\nshow the time-tested signs of\ninebriation. When I told him\nthat Science Week '93 was in\nthe planning stages and shaping up to be a great time for\nall, he roundly denied that fact.\nLet me recount our conversation for you:\nSarah: Hey Phil, did you know\nthat Science Week '93 is\ncoming in the third week\nof January (the 18th to (he\n22nd, actually), and it's\ngoing to be great this\nyear?\nPhil: Say what? No way.\nThere ain' t no such thing\nas Science Week.\nThere he went, displaying\nthe first sign of inebriation \u00E2\u0080\u0094\nhe was entering the stage of\nunderstand that Science Week\nreally will be a reality, but he\nwould have none of it \u00E2\u0080\u0094 in\nfact, he began to deny its possibility vehemently.\nPhil: I'm telling you, there is\nno such thing as a Science\nWeek! Now shut up about\nit already! (Takes bite out\nof TuffCup\u00E2\u0084\u00A2, and growls.)\nThings were getting a little\nout of hand \u00E2\u0080\u0094 the violence\nwas beginning to frighten me.\nPhil had entered the second\nclassic stage of drunkenness \u00E2\u0080\u0094\nhe was showing massive agression!\nBut still I persevered.\nDucking in under his swatting\nhands (he was clearing little\nfloating fat people from around\nhis head), I hit him my evidence: timetables, letters of\napproval, and glowing reports\nfrom the clubs organizing the\nannual event.\nSarah: Well just look at this;\nScience Week (duck!) will\nbe held from the 18th to\nthe 22nd of January 1993.\nThere will be lots of fun\nevents to participate in,\nsuch as the Microbi\n(duck!) Home Brew contest, the Chemistry Magic\nShow, the CompSci Car\nRally, the BioSoc Gyotaku\n(fish printing), and the\never-exciting Trike Race!\n(duck!) Not only are there\nthese special events from\nthe clubs, but each club\nwill strut its stuff in a\nposter display on SUB\nconcourse for the week.\nThere will be (duck!)\nexciting guest lectures,\nand special science-related movies in SUB\nAuditorium (like \"The Fly\nII\", or \"Alien 3\" perhaps). And, of course, to\ntop off the week, the SCIENCE WEEK DANCE on\nthe Friday night\u00E2\u0080\u0094just\nright for getting rid of\nthose January blues. You\nwill come out to it, won't\nyou, Phil?\nHere I stopped because I'd\nnoticed that Phil's countenance\nhad become more and more\ncredulous throughout my bar\nrage. He was no longer aggressively denying the possibility\nof Science Week. In fact, he\nwas beginning to believe me.\nPhil: You know, Sarah, you\nmight be right. There will\nbe a stupendous Science\nWeek in January if you\nhave anything to do with\nit!\nAnd so, Phil had finally\nentered the stage of acceptance: he finally realized that\nhe was as pissed as a newt, and\nthat Science Week '93 would\nbe the best thing to hit campus\nthis year.\nLast came commitment: Phil\npromised to come out to\nCHEM 160 (the SUS office)\nand help with the organization\nof certain events. I hope you\nwill too! Any questions, call\nthe SUS office at 822-4325\nand ask for Carmen or Roger\n(or Sarah, but I'm rarely\naround) or better yet, come to\nour bi-weekly meetings\nTuesdays at 1:30 in SUS. The Four Thirty-Twi* Vol 6 No 2 $ 21 Sept '92\nSchroedingerf s Fridge\nAngry\nDUCK\nMy freezer bit me.\nI'm not kidding. It bit me.\nOur freezer, presumably built\nwhen it was in vogue to build\nfreezers that don't work, grew\nteeth \u00E2\u0080\u0094 big giant fangs of ice\n\u00E2\u0080\u0094 and it bit me when I was\ngoing for the Haagen Dazs.\nMy freezer not only frosted\nup, but stalagmites and stalactites of ice spontaneously\nformed, sealing in the contents\nof the freezer. Whenever we\nopen it up, it's like looking at a\ngrinning Allosaurus with a\nmouthful of frozen peas.\nOn top of that, we can't find\nthe neighbour's cat. We figure\nthe freezer got it. Or else it was\nthe Unidentified Container In\nthe Back Of The Fridge,\nbecause, every now and then,\nwe hear a chewing sound coming from it.\nPerhaps I am exaggerating a\nlittle. The fact remains that\nfreezers are strange devices,\nwhose sole function it seems is\nto thicken with ice until everything in it has been glaciated,\nlike a wooly mammoth eating\nbuttercups.\nI understand that I am not the\nonly one with freezer problems.\nAccording to the Institute of\nThey (as in, \"They say that one\nin a hundred people get colon\npolyps\"), every seven minutes a\nfreezer gets so frosted with ice\nin this country that the contents\ncan never be recovered.\nFurthermore, the Institute of\nThey tells us that every twelve\nminutes, someone defrosts their\nfreezer.\nThis means that every day,\n288 more freezers become\nclogged up with ice than\nbecome defrosted. A chilling\nstatistic, (ed: Aaron's address is\navailable for those interested in\nexacting retribution for that last\none.)\nWhat can we do with this\never-increasing glut of ice-\nclogged freezers? Where can\nwe safely store them, so that\nthey will not harm future generations? After all, eventually, the\nice inside will melt, spilling\nyears-old bags of Jolly Green\nGiant Niblets that have slowly\nmutated into Niblets Hungry\nFor Human Flesh. Or something like that.\nHave you ever attempted to\ndefrost a freezer? It's not fun.\nThe Institute of They tells us\nthat the preferred way to defrost\na freezer is to\na) unplug it,\nb) go to bed,\nc) let the melted ice drip all\nover the mayonnaise,\nketchup, lettuce, milk, open\nbowl of tuna salad, and the\nCow Brand Baking Soda, in\nthe fridge beneath,\nd) feed the tuna salad to the\nroommate.\nFurther study shows that\nthere is a variety of methods\nemployed to defrost a refrigerator freezer.\nThe experimental physicist,\nfor example, will rectify the situation by attempting to bring\nthe freezer to a rapid thermal\nequilibrium with the room, generally by pouring in a gallon of\nhot water. Mind you, while the\nhot water melts the ice, it also\nimmediately spills out of the\nfreezer and on to the floor,\nwhere no absorbentmaterial\nhad been placed (that was\nbeyond the scope of the experiment).\nThe theoretical physicist, on\nthe other hand, freezes the\nentire house, reasoning it better\nto solve the simple problem of\ndefrosting a house rather than\nthe complex problem of defrosting a small, localized freezer.\nThe engineer chips away at\nthe ice with a knife from the\nkitchen drawer, until the rough\nshape of a freezer has been\nmade; after that a red\nVolkswagen is stuffed inside.\nThe mathematician would\nfirst solve the problem of\ndefrosting an infinite number of\nfreezers, then spend the rest of\nhis or her life on the problem of\ndefrosting a finite number of\nfreezers.\nThe biologist would develop\na strain of ice-eating bacteria\nthat would, unfortunately, also\neat the fridge.\nThe psychiatrist could defrost\nthe freezer, but the freezer\nwould really have to want to be\ndefrosted.\nThe Arts student would look\nfor some kind of Defrosting\nManual, then eventually call the\nelectrician.\nThe graduate student would\ndefrost the fridge in a quick,\noriginal manner, but his advisor\nwould take the credit for it.\nThe Ubyssey Staffer would\nsimply crawl inside and get\nsteamed about this or that\nmarginalised person of colour.\nThe Womyn's Center\nwouldn't have a freezer to\nbegin with, because it represents the phallocentric-white-\nmale-heterosexual-patriarchal-\ndominant-gender-repressive-\npower-struture \u00E2\u0080\u0094 oh, hell, I\ndon't remember the rest.\nKurt Preinsperg would\ndefrost a freezer by finding a\nway to have sex inside it.\nThe philosopher would\ndefine the problem of defrosting\na freezer in terms of a cow\nfalling down a hill; that is, does\nthe cow understand the concept\noff ailing? Or is it too stupid?\nPerhaps the cow notices it is\nfalling, then forgets, then re-\nnotices, in an endless recurring\nloop: hello, what's this! Am I\nfalling? Why yes! I am falling...\nfalling..JDOWN! Boy, this cud\ntastes good. I want Some more.\nI wonder if...hello, what's this!\nAm I falling?...\nThe astrophysicist would reason that, relative to the cosmic\nbackground radiation temperature (4 Kelvin), the freezer is\nrunning damned hot, and reasons anything that hot would\ndefrost itself.\nThe AMS Council member,\nof course, would fine the\nEngineers.\nEver eat somethin' that\ndidn't agree with ya?\nSubmit your best \"I-ate-at-UBC-\nFood-Services-and-survived\" story\nand you could win one of the new,\nsuper-secret 432 T-shirts!\nDeadline for entries is September 28.\nSo bring 'em on down to CHEM 160... soon.\n\"--^.\u00E2\u0080\u00A2w? \"*^^^\nThe 432 is proud to say that once again it has\nprostituted itself for, get this, twenty bucks. So,\nwithout further ado, we present:\nJoin the WBC 'Dance Clu6l Learn ballroom and\nLatin American 'Dancing. 'With over 800 members\nthere's always someone to dance with. We feature\nweekly lessons from9{g.wcomers to Qold, taught\nby professionals. Try oat our free foxtrot and jive\nlessons Sept 24 and 25. for info call822-3248.\n>t \u00E2\u0080\u00A2&& rtciU: TA - Vol 6 No 2 X 21 Sept '92 The Four Thirty-Two\nSCIENCE\nGARDEN\nWednesday September 23\n4.32pm \u00E2\u0080\u0094 7.30pm\nsub party room\n\"bzzr at such an\nunbelievably low\nprice, that we\ncan't even tell\nyou in this ad.\"\n(oh, well, okay... it's a buck)\nCHEAP\nTHREADS!\nDik Miller, Campus Enforcer\nThe U.B.C. Science\nUndergraduate Society\ncan help your team, club,\ndepartment, faculty, etc.\nwith your clothing needs.\nWe sell leather melton jackets,\nsweatshirts, sweatpants, caps,\njerseys, mugs, sweaters, and\nalmost any item imaginable.\nlUNIVERSrTYQF\n*-r II I I ITTTI I I I I\n/british Columbia!\nn\n.&\n..z\nEz\na"@en . "Periodicals"@en . "Vancouver (B.C.)"@en . "LE3.B841 A12"@en . "LE3_B841_A12_1992_09_21"@en . "10.14288/1.0000704"@en . "English"@en . "Vancouver : University of British Columbia Library"@en . "Vancouver : University of British Columbia. Science Undergraduate Society"@en . "Images provided for research and reference use only. Permission to publish, copy, or otherwise use these images must be obtained from the University of British Columbia Science Undergraduate Society: http://www.sus.ubc.ca/"@en . "Original Format: University of British Columbia. Archives"@en . "University of British Columbia"@en . "The 432"@en . "Text"@en . ""@en .