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Contains \"Moobyssey\".","@language":"en"}],"DigitalResourceOriginalRecord":[{"@value":"https:\/\/open.library.ubc.ca\/collections\/Ubysseynews\/items\/1.0124964\/source.json","@language":"en"}],"FileFormat":[{"@value":"application\/pdf","@language":"en"}],"FullText":[{"@value":" THE UBYSSEY\nVOL. LXVII\nTUESDAY, JANUARY 12, 1960\nNo. 34\nGreek gals compete for Mardi Gras Crown. They are (back row, left to right): Marie Karlsen.\nKappa Alpha Theta; Barb Salonen, Alpha Delta Pi; Elaine Bissett. Gamma Phi Beta; Mary\nHudson. Alpha Gamma Delta; Anne Kelly. Kappa Kappa Gamma. (Front row, left to right):\nReni Lefoho. Delta Phi Epsilon; Pat Killy. Alpha Phi; Sandra Sheppard, Delta Gamma;\nTheresa McNjally. Alpha Omicron Pi.\nKing and Queen Candidates\nHead Mardi Gras Pep Meet\nThursday is the big day for\nThis is the day of the Annual\nMardi Gras Pep Meet in the\nArmouries.\nFeatured will be the presentation of the Queen candidates,\nskits put on by the King candidates, and the famous Professor's\nSkit.\nThe \"Four Winds,\" a popular\nthe Greek Letter Societies,\nvocal group from Vancouver will\nalso entertain.\nVoting for both the Kings and\nQueens will take place at the\nPep Meet and the Miardi Gras\nDance this year.\nTwelve fraternities have entered hopefuls for Mardi Gras\nKing. They are: Nick Scharfe,\nProblems On Columbia\nNoted By Williston\nThe development of the Columbia is a difficult problem to\nsolve, B. C. Lands and Forests Minister Ray Williston said\nFriday. f\nWilliston, co-chairman of the'\nCanadian delegation to the joint\nCanadian-American Commission\non the Columbia, told a packed\naudience in Buchanan 100 that\ncommission members had been\nmisquoted and the problem mis-\ntated by the press.\nHe said he wanted to clarify\nthe issue as it stands now.\nHe stated that building dams\nin Canada will give downstream\nbenefits to present U.S. installations which have been engineered to provide for expansion\nwhen upstream control is effected.\nThe United States will get\nmore benefit than we will out of\nany dams we build, and \"very\nfew people realize this fact,\" he\nsaid.\nHe spent most of the hour\nshowing slides of present developments and future sites as well\nas diagrams and plans for pro-\n^ posed construction.\nThree plans for development\n_|of the system are under discus-\njsion, Williston said, and aside\nfrom a difference between U.S.\nand Canadian aspirations, there\nare complications from interest\ngroups on this side of the border.\nThe minister pointed out that\npeople who stood to be flooded\nout under one plan would naturally prefer to see aiTother\nadopted, even if, from a power\npoint of view, their displacement\nproved ultimately more profitable to Canada.\nIn a question period following\nhis slides and talk, Williston\nsaid it was polioy that the Columbia in B.C. would be developed by public power interests rather than private power.\nIn other words, the B.C. Power\nCommission will develop the\nColumbia. . \u00bb\nOne problem that remains,\nhowever, is whether downstream\nbenefits that accrue from such\ndevelopment should be shared\nby all the people of the province,\nor by only those served by the\nB.C. Power Commission, he said.\nA question from the audience\npointed out that the areas to be\nflooded by future dams are unexplored by archeologists and\nwill they be investigated before\nflooding?\nThe minister replied that B.C.\nhas never had a program to investigate for archeological artifacts, but that the problem was\nbeing considered.\nNew Sports\nFacilities\nProjected\nUBC could have a winter sports arena, a rowing and sailing\ncourse, and the University Golf Course within five years, predicted MAA President Ian Stewart last week.\nOther possibilities are a new \"\nAlpha Delta Phi; Gary Brothers,\nAlpha Tau Omega; Gary Bruce,\nDelta Upsilon; Robert Squires,\nDelta Kappa Epsilon; Terry\nBrown, Beta Theta Pi; Mike\nMiller, Phi Delta Theta; Phil\nTingley, Phi Gamma Delta; Dave\nSpearing, Phi Kappa Pi; Chris\nDavies, Phi Kappa Sigma; Allan\nChernov, Zeta Beta Tau; Al\nSmith, Zeta Psi; Axel Doulis,\nSigma Chi.\nMardi Gras will be held at the\nCommodore, Friday and Saturday, January 22 and 23.\nTickets went on sale yesterday at the AMS Office at $6 per\ncouple and $3 single. Valuable\ndoor prizes, including a fur stole\nand a wrist watch will be presented.\nPrizes for best costume will\nalso be given.\nThe number of tickets that\nwill be sold is limited.\nRegistration\nNow On For\nB.C. Elections\nOver 800 students turned out\nto register yesterday, the first\nday of a week-long provincial\nelection registration campaign.\nThose students who have not\nregistered are reminded that, unlike federal elections, you must\nregister yourself at a given time\nbefore elections.\nTo qualify for the election you\nmust be 19 years old, a British\nsubject, and have resided in\nCanada for 12 months and in\nB.C. for 6 months.\nNaturalized citizens are reminded that they must have the\nnumber of their naturalization\nSee REGISTRATION\n(Continued on Page 8)\nwomen's gym or field house, and\nmore athletic fields.\nThe possibility that the university may be able &o lease\nthe golf course at a moderate\nrate from the provincial government has brought these * other\nprojects to the fore. ^ t'\nPlans for a winter sports arena\nfell through last year because\nUniversity Hill residents withdrew support. Apparently they\nfelt that they; themselves would\nnot derive sufficient benefit\nfrom it if it was built m conjunction with the university.\nIf the university controlled\nthe golf course an agreement\nmight be set up whereby University Hill got a share in the\ngolf course for community use in\nreturn for support and financial\naid in building the arena.\nConfronted with all these\ndiverse possibilities Students\nCouncil has set up a committee\nto make a comprehensive investigation of athletic and recreational facilities on the campus.\nThe committee consists of\nStewart, Inge Andreen, secretary\nof WAD, and John Goodwin,\nfirst member. Additional members may be added later.\nThe committee will make a\nstudy of the use - to which all\nexisting facilities are being put.\nThey intend to pay special attention to recreational facilities.\nThey want to tabulate the needs\nof those students who want to\nplay occasionally just for fun.\n\"This is a difficult task and\nwe wilLneed all the help we can\nget,\" said Stewart.\nThe statistics compiled' will\nform the basis for a report which\nwill suggest methods of making\nbetter use of existing facilities\nas well as recommending the\nconstruction of new ones.\nThe committee also plans to\nlist the new facilities needed in\norder of importance so that\nthose most inadequate will get\npriority.\nFor instance, Stewart felt that\nrecreational facilities were sadly\nlacking. He cited the bowling\nalley as the only good recreational establishment on the campus.\nThe committee will study a\nneed for more tennis courts,\nsquash courts, handball courts,\nand a recreational swimming\narea.\n\"Some of the existing athletic\nfacilities, such as the women's\ngym, are quite inadequate,\" he\nsaid.\nIt is believed the concrete\nfacts and figures that the committee will gather will back up\ndemands for need improvements.\nIt should be noted that this is\nessentially a community service\nrather than an athletic project.\nThe recreational angle will be\ngive the most emphasis, Stewart\nsaid.\nSecretary Needed\nFor Men's Athletics\nDeadline for applications for\nthe position of secretary of the\nMen's Athletic Association is\nnoon tomorrow at the Men's\nClub Room.\nAccording to a council spokesman the position is one of great\nimportance.\nThe successful applicant\nwould act as secretary to MAA\nand would also sit on MAC (with\nfaculty representatives and the\nMAA president).\nThe new secretary will finish\nthis term and continue through\nnext year.\nApplications should be written and addressed to the Athletic\nDirector.\n'tween classes J\nRAY SIKORA\nTO PLAY HERE\nJAZZ SOCIETY\nRay Sikora Quartette\u2014in the\nJay Jay and Kai style\u2014Wednesday noon in the Auditorium,\n25c. Members free.\n* * * \"j\nLECTURE\nProfessor Hans Heinrich Borcherdt of the University of\nMunich will deliver a lecture oh\n\"Das Dichterische bei Scheil-\nler\" in Buchanan 217 on Thursday, Jan. 14.\n* * * \\\nNEWMAN CLUB\nThe four discussion groups are\nmeeting this week. The Monday\nevening lectures have started.\nThere will be a ski trip to Mount\nBaker this Sunday.\n* * * \u25a0 .1\nCONSERVATIVE CLUB\nGeneral meeting today in\nBuch 203. All members are urged\nto attend.\n* * * ;(\nEL CIRCULO\nProfessor Kobbervig will be\nshowing slides of Mexico in Buch\n204 at noon. Admission free.\n* *i * f\nUNITED NATIONS CLUB\nUnited Nations Club General\nmeeting Tuesday 12:30 in Bo.\n100. Important activities to fo*\ndiscussed.\n* * * |\nNURSING V\nStudents registered in First\nYear Arts who are interested in\nSee \"AWEEN CLASSES\n(Continued on Page 8) PAGE TWO\nTHE UBYSSEY\nTuesday, January 12, 1960\nAuthorized as second class mail by Post Office Department, Ottawa\nMEMBER CANADIAN UNIVERSITY PRESS\nPublished three times a weSk throughout the University year in Vancouver\nby the Publications Board of the Alma Mater Society, University of B.C.\nEditorial opinions expressed are those of the Editorial Board of The Ubyssey\nand not necessarily those of the Alma Mater Society or the University of B.C.\nTelephones: Editorial offices, AL. 4404; Locals 12, 13 and 14;\nBusiness offices, AL. 4404; Local 15.\n\u25a0\"': Editor-in-Chief: R. Kerry White\nAssociate Editor \u201e Elaine Bissett\nManaging Editor Del Warren\nNews Editor Bob Hendrickson\nC.U.P. Editor Irene Frazer\nClub's Editor Wendy Barr\nFeatures Editor Sandra Scott\nHead Photographer Colin Landie\nPhotography Editor Roger McAfee\nSenior Editor: Al Chernov\nReporters and Desk:\nMorley Short, Art Powell, George Railton, Diane Greeall,\nJohn Russell, Brad Crawford, Derek Allen, Fred Fletcher.\nr~\nEDITORIAL\nIt seems necessary in the current state of international\ncompetitiveness to educate the greatest number of students in\n&e quickest possible time.\nEverywhere quantity and speed is stressed. The number\nof engineering graduates in the U.S.S.R. for a given year is\nCompared to the number of engineering graduates in the U.S.A.\nThe scientific achievements of the U.S.S.R. are the\n(objects of concern in the West and we are urged from all\nSides to catch up with the greatest possible haste!\nBut our universities are too impersonal how without\nihe strain of bigger and bigger enrollments. If ever increasing\nquantity and speed is essential then this pressure must be\noff-set by some sort of personal student attention.\nA university is an unsettling thing not only mentally\nbut emotionally. The student is introduced to a conglomeration\nof ideas which conflict with ideas in which he has previously\nfelt secure.\nBesides a probable conflict of idealogies, the college\nStudent must face a number of conflicts in his relations with\nother human, beijigs.\nHowever, not only new concepts unsettle the student.\nFrom the ages of 18 to 2-1 a great deal of character maturing\nmust take place, and each stage of maturing is an emotional\nbattle.\nBut there is little space or time in a quantity\u2014orientated\nuniversity, to cater to emotional problems. The student is left\nto find for himself, left to sink or swim, and for those that\nsink there is too little concern or remedy.\nIt is unreasonable to the: extreme to expect the student\nto rely completely on himself at such a difficult stage in his life.\nThe universities must shift their emphasis more towards the\nindividual student, even with increases in enrollment, or else\nttu^y can expect more reoccurances of last weekend's tragedy.\n11\nLast Minute Club...Tonight\n; ' SIRtROMAS VVOLFITT j\nPRESENTS HIS FAMOUS CHARACTER\nSKETCHES FROM SHAKESPEARE\nORPHEUM THEATRE\nSpecial low price tickets for students\non sale, in A.M.S'. Office\nWATCH FOR COMPLETE LIST OF THE TERM'S\nEVENTS IN FRIDAY'S PAPER.\n\\\nFilmsoc and its damn war pictures .\nLETTIM TO THE EDITOR\nThe Editor,\nThe Ubyssey.\nDear Sir:\nThe implication made by Mr.\nMansfield (Letters, Ubyssey,\n8th January) that people per-\nsue the Arts for purely materialistic ends is a typical\n\"American\" attitude. Blissfully unaware that the program\nhe chose to criticize was bu,t\none of a series, he suggests that\nDr. Mackenzie only broadcasts\nto improve herself financially.\nDr. Mackenzie has set out in\nher broadcasts to give an impression of a few poets and in\nthis she succeeds admirably.\nThe purpose, if such a program\nneeds a purpose, is to remind\nof things once read; to explain\nideas and methods and to suggest, to the listener other poets\nand poems worth reading.\nMoney-minded cynics like\nMr. Mansfield all too often\ntend to be the only voice that ;\nis heard to comment. I hope\nDr. Mackenzie realizes that her\nprograms are appreciated by\nmany who are glad to escape,\nfor a few moments at least,\nfrom the ever-growing world\nof the Mansfields.\nYours sincerely,\nGeoffrey yoss.\nson for the poor attendance at\nthis meeting. Perhaps the\nElection Committee can supply\nus with a valid reason.\nDon Munro,\n4th Forestry\nJohn Leesing,\n4th Forestry\nThe Editor, :\nThe Ubyssey,\nDear Sir:\nIn conjunction with your\nverbal agreement of 'Thunder\nDay 1959,\" May we ask your\n: co-operation in fulfilling your\npromise:\n1 can of food per member\neach for council and the Ubyssey staff. The Hollenbergs,\nowners of Thunder, have very\ngenerously donated a case of\ncanned food to be given to\nCentral City Mission. May we\ncount on you for your contribution by Wednesda, Jan.\n13th?\nThank you.\nFran Charkow,\n. (on behalf of AWS)\nThe Editor,\nThe Ubyssey,\nDear Sir:\nAre we the graduating students interested in the Univer-,\nsity? Are we proud of our\nAlma Mater? It appears that\nwe are not.\nToday there was a meeting\nof the Graduating Class in\nBuchanan 100 for the purpose\nof hearing the election speeches\nof the Grad Class executive\nnominees. Here is a list of\nthose present:\n1. Some of the candidates\nand seconders.\n2. Ten members of the\ngrauating class.\n3. Two freshmen using Buchanan 100 as a lunch\nroom.\nSince tradition shows that\nthe graduating students are interested in the University and\nare proud of their Alma Mater\nthere must toe some other rea-\nEditor,\nThe Ubyssey.\nDear Sir:\nJohn Cum Maximum Laboris\nNorthfield has allowed us to\ngoad him into desperate invective. Touche'!\nD. Sigurgeirson,\nArts III.\nSTATEMENT OF POLICY\nThe Ubyssey is at all times\nglad to print provocative editorial material as long as it is\nsigned and typewritten. The\ndeadline fof such material is\n12:30 p.m. any day.\nOpinions expressed in guest,\neditorials, letters to the editor and editorial columns are\nnot necessarily those of the\nUbyssey.\nThe Ubyssey will not publish letters to the editor unless they are signed and typewritten. Pseudonyms will be\nused on occasion, but not unless the author's identity is\nknown to the Ubyssey.\n\u2014R.K.WHITE\nThe Editor, ;\nUbyssey.\nDear Sir:\nIs Canada a nation of weaklings?-Have we striven to establish a pseudo-humanitarianism\ntoy permitting a second rate\nvisitor to ignore completely our\nlegal and governmental institutions? Are we overly lenient\nwith violators of our national\nboundaries? Yes! As a nation\nwe are spft-spined, we have no\nnational pride, nor have we\nrespect for any action that\ntries to maintain our Canadian\nunity. Is it not obvious that the\nwell - known infiltrator, Mr.\nChan, upon obtaining a visitor's\npermit to Canada, was not only\nuntruthful but treacherous in\nobtaining it? Under false pretenses he entered Canada, and\nthen established himself as \"a\nman willing to help defend\nCanada.\" His reason was only\nto garner sentimental contacts\nto aid him in his quest to become a reputable immigrant.\nHave we no faith in the government that we ourselves\nelected? Do we not realize that\nthe Immigration Board knows\nmuch better than we do why\nthe notorious Mr. Chan is not\nbeing voluntarily admitted to\nour country? Obviously not for\nmany Canadians force themselves into a descructive conformity because they feel that\nas soft-hearted sentimentalists\nthey gain the respect of the\nworld.\n\u2014A Government Sympathizer\nRENTAL & SALES\n\u2022 Full DreSs\n\u2022 Morning Coats\n\u2022 White and Blue Coats\n\u2022 Shirts and Accessories\n\u2022 $1.00 discount to\nUBC Students.\nE A. LEE Ltd.\n623 HOWE MU 3-2457\n-w.i *.\u00bb\u2022_ Tuesday, January 12, 1960\nTHE UBYSSEY\nPAGE THft\u00a3\u00a3\nForty UBC Students\nPerform For Blind\ni:\nMale Escorts\nBadly Needed\nFuture teachers are willing\nto pay for males. N\nHere is a request for male\nescorts at the Future Teachers'\nClub's Dance in Brock Hall\nSaturday.\nThe second annual conference\nsponsored by the College of Education will be held on the campus this coming Friday and Saturday.\nThe 120 delegates from 60 B.C.\nHigh Schools are mostly young\ngirls who hope to enter the College of Education next fall.\nA request for 30 male escorts\nfor the large dance held in Brock\nHall Saturday evening has been\nmade by the Education Undergraduate Society.\nAll interested male students\nare asked to contact the Conference Chairman, Bill Elliott, at\nWA 2-1379 before Wednesday\nmidnight.\nAll expenses incurred by the\nescorts will be paid by the Education Undergraduate Council.\nRefreshments, prizes, and a\nname band will add to the evening's entertainment.\nFunderal services for\nBernard Clarence Barons\nwill be held al the North\nSurrey Funeral Home,\nWednesday, January 14,\n1:30 p.m.\nBarons, who was a 4th\nyear science student at\nUBC, was killed in an auto\naccident Friday, January\n8th, while on his. way to\nschool. \t\nCoaching of French 110,120,\n210 by experienced teacher.\nTelephone RE 3-2664\nmornings or 8 to 11 p.m.\nA THE RIDDLE\n^#F. JAN. 31\nMatz & Wozny\n548 Howe St. MU 3-4715\nCustom Tailored Suits\nfor Ladies and Gentlemen\nGowns and Hoods\nUniforms\nDouble breasted suits\nmoderaized in the new\nsingle breasted styles.\nSpecial Student Rates\nINSTALLATION OF\nREV. M. JOHN V. SHAVER\nB.A.\nas\nUnited Church Chaplain\nin the University\nin\nUnion College Chapel\nSunday, January 10th\n3:00 p.m.\nBy MARY SHAKSPEARE\nLast night, the Blind School Auditorium at 1101 West\nBroadway echoed with the sounds of Broadway musicals, ballads, jazz, classical music and fraternity songs.\nThe programme, staged for j musical tunes,\nmembers of the White Cane j other vocalists were folk\nClub, was arranged by Patti j singers Kerry Feltham and Dave\nSproule, the song teams of Phi-\nGamma Delta and Alpha Gamma\nDelta, a \"Fiji\" Quartet, and ballad singeer, Dr. Cox.\nMC was Jim Meekison.\nBecause of the success of \"last\nnight's programme, the possi*\nbility of a second concert under\nUBC organization, is now being\ncontemplated for early March.\nwas\nDarling, president of Associated\nWomen Students and Paul Hazell\nof the National Federation of\nCanadian University Students.\nAmong the 40 UBC students\nwho took'part, were Carol Stien\nplaying classical piano, Brian\nGalliford popular piano and Sandra Browning singing Briadway\nBANNED\nBY THE\nB.C. CENSOR\nBOARD\nFOR OVER 30 YEARS\nSTORM\nOVER\nASIA\nDIRECTED BY V. I. PUDOVKIN\nThis film has been brought to UBC only with special!\n\u25a0permission. It is an early Soviet film that is consjd-J\n|ered too shocking for British Columbia audiences.|\nTODAY\nAUDITORIUM Admission by Classics\n3:30, 6 and 8 p.m. Series Pass or 75c\n^\u2022v\n'-XT\nw fi * J\n.*&\u00a3.\niff subsidized university education\nsumfher employment\nthe Queen's commission upon graduation\nIfoti cdn begin a career as a professional naval officer NOW and still\ncomplete your present university course.\n^rOuglt tne Regular Officer Training Plan (ROTP), the Royal Canadian\nNavy Sffers you awfully subsidized university education leading to a baccalaureate degree and a challenging career.\nYou are eligible to apply tor a naval ROTP cadetship NOW if you\n\u2022 are registered in the faculties of\nA P PL IE P SC IE N C E (ENGINEER! NG)\nSCIENCE ARTS or EDUCATION\n\u2022 will graduate in T9610, 1961 dr*T9o2, with the required\nminimum of credits in Calculus and Physics.\nCall at your University Placement office today emfe\n\u2022 get your own copy of the Navy's brochure Careers\nin the Royal Canadian Navy*\n\u2022 make an appointment for an interview with the nova!\nUniversity Liaison Officers who will visit your campus\nduring this academic year*\nIf you would nice\nmore information\nbefore your interview, mail this\ncoupon NOW. \u2014\nYou do not place\nyourself under\nany obligation by\nrequesting this\ninformation.\nOFFICER CAREERS,\nNAVAL HEADQUARTERS*\nOTTAWA, CANADA\nPlease, mail me further information on Officer Careers In tho\nRoyal Canadian Navy.\nMawe\nHome Address -\nJHome Phone.\nUniversity.\nFaculty.\nYear of\n.Graduation.\nOYAL CANAD1A\nA V Y PAGE FOUR\nTHE UBYSSEY\nTuesday, January 12, 1960\n'University Not\nFilling Function\nBy GRANT B. LIVINGSTONE\n\"The university does not fulfill its function unless it\nanswers basic questions\u2014it cannot operate in a vacuum.\"\n\"But the most basic question ^\nunanswered in today's university\n'What is man?' is 'truly answered\nin the New Testament,\" declared Prof. Geooffrey Parke-\nTaylor to over three hundred\nstudents filling Buchanan 106 in\nthe first 1960 lecture of VCF's\nFriday noon series.\n\"Jesus Christ was 'man writ\nlarge,' the representative man\nGod intends man should be,\"\nsaid the \"Anglican College's professor of New Testament.\n'Our manner of reckoning\ntime rightly centres on this man\nwho told His executioner, Pontius Pilate, the Procurator, of an\nobscure Roman province at the\ndividing Of A.D. from B.C., 'My\nkingdom is not of this world'.\"\nThen, as now, people were\nlooking for a revolutionary\nleader who would radically\nchange world conditions. But\nHis revolution was to be in man\nhimself\u2014a revolution of >the\nspirit. The greatest of His mira\ncles is the change He makes in\nthe lives of His followers,'' said\nthe professor.\nWith too many people of University level in other areas of\nlearning, their knowledge of\nChrist ended at Sunday School\nlevel. This childishness of understanding could quickly be\nremedied if they would start\nreading the New Testament for\nthemselves, he said.\nHe commended a new pocket-\nbook translation of the Four\nGospels at the bookstore, by an\nEnglish scholar, E. V.'Rieu. Rieu\nbegan the work of translation a\nskeptic, at the urgence of his\nson, a lay preacher, but at its\nend, he declared it had changed\nhim.\n\"These (the Four Gospels)\nbear the seal of the Son of man,\nand they are the Magna Carta\nof the human spirit,\" he testified.\nStratford Festival\nOffers Wide Variety\nThis year, the Stratford Shakespearean Festival offers as\nusual a wide gamut of entertainment both musical and dramatic.\nThe Stratford Festival of 1960\nopens on June 27 and continues\nto Sept. 17.\nIn the Festival theatre, three\nShakespearean plays will be presented: \"Romeo and Juliet,\" directed by Michael Langham and\ndesigned by Tanya Moiseiwitsch,\nwith Julie Harris and Bruno\nGerussi as the \"star cross'd\nlovers\"; \"King John,\" directed\nby Tyrone Guthrie and designed\nby Miss Moiseiwitsch; and \"A\nMidsummer Night's Dream,\" directed by Douglas Campbell and\ndesigned by Brian Jackson.\nA new production of \"H.M.S.\nPinafore,\" a continuation of tae\nMusicians' Workshop, concerts\nby the National Festival Orchestra with Glenn Gould, Oscar\nShumsky and Leonard Rose as\nresident artists, and an international conference of composers\nwill be among the features of\nthe Music Festival.\nOnce again an International\nFilm Festival will be held in\nthe Avon Theatre (during the\ntwo weeks commencing Aug. 22)\nat which important new motion\npictures from many different\ncountries will be shown.\nANNUAL\nSALE\n.CASUAL JACKETS, SPORTSHIRTS,\nTOPCOATS, SUITS, SPORTSCOATS,\nSWEATERS, ETC. ETC.\nA Fine Selection\nof Wonderful Values\nRICHARDS & PARISH\nMENSWEAR\n802 Granville Street, Vancouver,\nand the\nCOLLEGE SSOP,\" BROCK HALL\nGhana's Varied Culture\nDiscussed By Oberlander\nBy GEORGE RAILTON\nUbyssey Staff Reporter\nGhana is trying to accomplish in one generation what the\nrest of the world has done in 200 years, according to Dr. Obex*-\nlander, a member of the Faculty of Agriculture..\nDr. Oberlander, who was sent\nTo Ghana in West Africa by the\nUN as advisor in the establishment of a town planning school,\ngave a noon-hour lecture yesterday in Buchanan 106.\nHe compared Ghana with B.C.,\nsaying that it is one quarter the\nSize with a population of five\nto six million.\nK \"It is trying to catch up in\n,; The U.B.C. Sailing Team retained their lead in Inter-collegiate sailing competition this\n\"Weekend with another amazing\ni series of victories.\njjj. Competing against strong\nIrteams from;, the University of\n! I >Washington; Seattle University,\n||';and. the University of Puget\n'jjSound the local tars won all\nfour races. Season's record\nStands at 11 first and 1 second.\nFIRST REGATTA\n'.\u25a0 This was the first regatta that\nthe U.B.C. team had sponsored.\n: Final standings in the double\nknockout event was UBC, first,\nfollowed by U.. of W., U. of\nSeattle and University of Puget\nSound.\n. In the first race U.B.C7 de\nfeated the team from UW by a\nnarrow three \u2022point margin\nwhile UPS beat SU. UW\nbounced back, in the next race\nwinning against SU. UBC defeated UPS in another close\nvictory.\nFINAL TO UBC\nThe semi - final draw saw\nUniversity of Washington take\nUniversity of Puget Sound. The\nU of W team met U.B.C. in the\nfinal. UBC swept the final event\nto take the Regatta Perpetual\nTrophy.\nIn the consolation round SU\ndefeated UPS to finish third.\nSailing conditions were ideal\non the Saturday meet Wind held\na steady southeast ten for the\nwhole series. There was only one\nrace in which U.B.C-. .did not\ndominate.\nSTUDENTS!\nLEARN THE FUNCTIONS OF PROVINCIAL\nGOVERNMENT DEPARTMENTS BY GETTING YOUR\nFREE SUBSCRIPTION\nto the\n\"BRITISH COLUMBIA GOVERNMENT NEWS\"\nWRITE TO:\nB.C. TRAVEL BUREAU\nParliament Buildings,\nVictoria, B.C.\nSAMPLES ARE ON FILE WITH YOUR\nUNDERGRADUATE SOCIETY\nTuesday, January 12, 196i\niras\n\"\u25a0'\u25a0*_\u00bb \"V. V\nThriller\nTo Front Running As\nHockey Tops\nMen's League\nby ALAN DEFOE\n(Ubyssey Sports Staff)\nVarsity consolidated its hold\non- first place in the men's grass\nhockey A Division with a 7-0\nwin over North Shore A at UBC\nNo. 1 Field on Saturday after\nnoon.\nScoring for the winners were\nVic Warren with four goals,\nGordie Forward with two goals,\nand Nelson Forward with a\nsingle goal.\nAccording to Dr. Malcolm\nMcGregor, Varsity played together as a team. In particular,\nhe praised the combination Of\nGordie forward, Art Temple,\nand Ronnie Lee's iby calling, it\n\u2022brilliant\" in attack.; Furthermore he added that the entire\nVarsity defence wes \"impregnable.\" Dr. McGregor noted,\nhowever, that next -week Var-i\nsity will face much stiffer opposition from the second place\nGrasshopper A eleven in a game\nscheduled for Saturday on UBC\nNo. 2 field.\nThe 'Hopper A squad defeated\nUBC Blu^s 3-1 at Cannaught\nPark on Saturday.\nThe former team now has a\nwon-lost record of 8-1 and trails\nVarsity only by virtue of an inferior goals-for-and-against average. t\nIn the latter game, Blues held\nthe Grasshoppers to a 1-1 half-\ntime count before bowing in the\nsecond stanza. Mike Gerry fired\nthe losers' lone goal.\nIn a final A Division encounter on UBC No. 2 field, the\nUBC Golds came from behind to\ndefeat West Coast Rangers 5-3.\nSparked by the three goal hat\ntrick of Peter St. John, the\nGolds , took firm command of\nthe contest in the second half.\nPeter Buckland and John Kerr\neach scored a goal for the winners.\nMeanwhile, in an early B\nDivision game On UBC No. 1\npitch, the second place Grasshopper B eleven; shutout the seventh place UBC Pedagogue crew\nby a 2-0 score. Still undefeated,\nIndia B with a won-lost-tied record of 8-0-2continues to lead\n'the eight team circuit.\nBy ERNIE HARDER\n(Ubyssey Sports Editor)\nUBC's youthful Thunderbirds dropped a 79-78 cliffhanger\nto Alberrti's pace-setting Athletics Saturday night\u2014but not before convincing over 600 enthusiastic onlookers that this university's senior hoop contingent could be the most respected crew\nin the inter-city circuit by playoff time.\nThough sharp shooting Gary Panton sparked the fast-\nbreaking A's to a 28-19 first-quarter lead, Jack Pomfret's close\nchecking blue and gold hosts narrow the visitors' edge to four\npoints by halftime.\nHALFTIME LEAD\nScore at the half was 43-35.\n_ Throughout the contest UBC\nmissed chances from close in,\nbut steady performances from\nthe field toy rookie Bill Berardino and veteran Ken Winslade\nput 'Birds ahead for the first\ntime in the third quarter.\nAt the end of the third frame,\nTUESDAY\nBadminton \u2014 UBC Second\nteam vs: Point Grey, Memorial\nGym, 8:u&p.m.\nWEDNESDAY\nThunderette Basketball vs.\nRichmond at Churchill.\nFRIDAY\nThunderbird Basketball at\nUniversity of Sask.\nThunderettes vs. Hastings at\nMemorial Gym.\nGlobetrotters at Memorial\nGym, 8:30.\nSATURDAY\nWomen's Hockey hostess event\nAfternoon.\nGlobetrotters at Memorial\nGym,\u00bb8:3\u2022\u25a0\nSwimming.\nWomen's Hockey, Varsity vs.\nAlums, 2:00, Connaught.\nSquash Tournamentt at Vancouver Rackets Club.\nUBC vs. North Van, 2:30 at\nSUITS $49.95, $59.95, $69.95\nJACKETS .. $24.95, $29.95, $39.95\nTOPCOATS $39.95, $49.95\nSPORTSHIRTS $2.95, $4.95\nSWEATERS 20% OFF\nMADE TO MEASURE \u2014 20% DISCOUNT\nALL CLOTHING FROM REGULAR STOCK\nBOB LEE LTD.\nNatural Shoulder Clothing 623 W. HASTINGS\nAbbotsford High\nBiats Braves\nUBC Braves split two weekend exhibition basketball games\nwith local, high school teams.\nThe Braves dumped Gladstone\n58-41 Friday at the War Memorial Gym, but were shocked 61-50\nby a sizzling Abbotsford High\nfive. The Braves are UBC's\nthird team.\nThe Braves' loss was only their\nfourth in 17 games. They had\npreviously defeated such top\nhigh school teams as Lord Byng,\nMagee, and Courtney. Abbotsford was led by Mike Penney\nwith 16 points. Braves' leaders\nwere Pete Hewlett with 10, and\nDal Lansdell with 9 points.\nIn Friday's win, Al Ross led\nthe scorers with 11 points. Tomorrow the Braves take on\ntheir league-leading adversaries,\nYMCA, at the Lord Byng Gym\nat 8:30. Come and support UBC's\nwinningest basketball team.\nJack Pomfret's playoff hungry\n'Birds held a shaky 59-58 command.\nCONTROL BOARDS\nWith the experienced A's controlling the boards and Thunderbirds counteracting with.an effective display of defensive\nchecking, the game went into\na dramatic, fourth quarter\nfinale.\nThe 'Birds, who did a fine joto\nall evening of handcuffing shifty\nJohn Kootnekoff, couldn't defend against the outside shooting of Gary Panton and Doug\nBrinhaml\nPANTON SCORES\nPanton fouled out with just\nover a minute remaining, but\nnot before he had sunk, what\nproved to be the winning basket.\n\u25a0\u25a0 The final three minutes were\nstrictly strategy. It saw A's go\ninto an effective two-minute stall\nWith just eight seconds remaining, UBC gained posession and\ncalled timeout.\nMainstay Barry Drummond\ndrove in toward the opposition's\nhoop officials called \"charging\"\n\u2014and that's how it ended.\nUBC IMPROVING\nThough the- Pomfret men are\nmaking defensive mistakes and\nmissing oportunities on the attack, they are noticably gaining\nconfidence and co-ordination\nwith each outing. Saturday's display at the gym was high-scoring, crowd-pleasing basketball.\nThe loss left UBC tied for\nthird spot with Cloverleafs.\nHowever, the Leafs have tw\u00bb\ngames in hand.\nOPEN WCIAU PLAY\t\nUBC, who travel to Saskatchewan next weekend to open,\ntheir WCIAU schedule, will\nmeet second place Dietrich-Collins and Eilers in their remaining games in the* coast league,\nSCOREBOARD\nAlberni - (79) - Williamson 7,\nBrown 9, Gailloux 4, Kootnekoff 8, Grisdale 8, Brinham 14;,\nBisset 13 Panton 12, Radies 4.\nUBC - (78) - Lusk, Drummond 9,\nWay 2, Berardino 6, Hartley 6,\nGushue 4, Osborne 10, Pederse*\n8, Dumaresq 3, Winslade 17,\nMartin 13.\nSPORTS DEPARTMENT\nNEEDS MORE WRITERS\nIf your great ambition is\nto write for this page (what\nan ambition . . . ) then come\ndown to the Ubyssey offices\neither Thursday or Monday\nnoon.\nYou don't have to get a first\nclass in that English 100 essay\nas long as you can run over\nto the Gym and back with\nnews. \t\nIFILMSOC PRESENTS . . .\n\"OUT\"... The U.N. Film on the Hungarian\nRevolution.\n\u2022T6oay T2:3& Auditorium 15c or Series Pass Tuesday, January 12, 1960\nTHE UBYSSEY\nPAGE SEVEN\n\\U*.\nCo-Editors . _ Ann Pickard, Ernie Harder.\nStaff Mike Hunter, Fred Fletcher, Alan Dafoe\nSwimmers\nTake UPS\nUniversity of B.C. swimmers\nsplashed to a 59-36 win over U.\nof Puget Sound in Tacoma on\nSaturday.\nThunderbirds were victorious\nin their first meet of the season\n(despite the late arrival of several\nUBC competitors due to car\ntrouble.\nThis development forced\nCoach Peter Lusztig to use untrained swimmers in several\nevents. Diver Peter Pellott\nplaced second in the 200 and 400\nmetre- free-style events despite\nbeing unprepared. He also\ncopped second in the diving, behind a team-mate.\niFOTJR RECORDS FALL\nFour tlBC swim records fell\nin the meet.\nThe medley relay of B. Gilchrist, D. Page, B. Petersen, and\nB. Bagshaw trimmed 23.3 seconds from the 400 metre record,\nswimming the .distance in 4:50.6.\nBert Petersen beat the 200\nmetre butterfly record by 12.6\nseconds. His time was 2:54.5.\nBACKSTROKE RECORD\nB. Gilchrist took 1.8 seconds\nfrom his own 200 metre backstroke record.\nThe 200 metre breaststroke\nrecord also fell.\nDennis Page grabbed this and\none other win to lead the UBC\npaddlers who took six of eleven\nevents.\nLions, N. Y. Giants\nBoth Want Bill\nSports\nSQUASH\nU.B.C. Squash team lost a\nclose 3-2-decision to the 'Y'\nlast Thursday.\nWinning U.B.C. players were\nIan Campbell and Chris Scott.\nBill Whitelaw, Terry Wolfe and\nPeter Hermant dropped matches\nto the victorious 'Y' competitors.\n, This weekend the Squash team\nplays in the Pacific Coast Championships at the Vancouver\nRaquets Club, Twenty-fifth arid\nOak. Finals will be Sunday afternoon.\nBadminton Team Takes\nStrathcona In League\nThe first Badminton team\nousted a Strathcona squad 11-1\nin a Friday Night match.\nOnly losing team was the\nMen's Doubles pair of Warren\nBell and' Ed Auld. They lost a\nclose three game match to the\nStrathcona number one doubles\npair.\nIn Women's Doubles Shirley\nMcKelvey and Sid Shakespeare\nwon in close matches. Sharon\nWhittacker and Lynn McDougall\neasily took their matches.\nIn other Men's Doubles play\nKeith Tolman and Les Trabert\ntook two easy matches.\nAll teams won mixed doubles\nevents.\nThis team is still unbeaten in\nleague play. The second team\nplays their first league match\ntoday at the Memorial Gym\nstarting at 8:00 p.m.\nB.C. LIONS? \u2014 NEW YORK GJAIfTS?\nRugby Whallops\nEx-Brittanig 24-0\nBy FRED FLETCHER\n(Ubyssey Sports Staff)\nUBC's rugby juggernaut rolled oyer Ex-Brittania 24 to nil\nat UBC Stadium Saturday in their drive toward the Miller Cup.\nThe victory, their tenth*-\nagainst one draw and no de\nfeats, gave the Varsity squad a\ntwo and one half game lead over\nsecond place Kats who lost a\ntight 8-5 game to a strong Rowing Club side at Brockton Oval.\nCoach Howells club is now in\nan excellent position and should\nbe hard to dislodge from top\nspot now that they have jelled\ninto a team.\nMIKE AND STU SCORE\nTop scorers in Saturday's\ngame were Mjke Chambers with\ntwo tries and Stu Smith with\na try and three converts. Bob\nMcKee, Ralph Bagshaw and\nNeal Henderson, who . has just\nreturned from the injured list,\neach contributed one try.\nAlso in Miller Cup action\nSaturday UBC Braves edged\nTrojans 6-3.\nBraves are also showing up\nwell in the race for Mr. Miller's\ntrophy.\nTheir scoring was handled by\nTerry Culling who made a try,\nand Benny Gilmore,. who booted\na penalty goal.\nCARMICHAEL CUP\nIn the Carmichael Cup series\nUBC picked up a pair of victories; tooth in the \"A\" division.\nThe Frpsh \"A\" Squad whitewashed West Van Barbarians\nSeconds 24-0 at Aggie Field.\nTotems, a group of converted\nfootball players competing for\nthe first time this season, brushed past Meralomas Seconds 16-\n12.\nUBC PE was scheduled to\nmeet Wanderers at Douglas Park\nin the same division; however,\nthe game was postponed.\nWORLD CUiP FEATURE\nBirds should be at the peak\nof their game when World Cup\ntime rolls around again.\nThis is an annual home and\nhome series with the University\nof California.\nCoach Howell will send his\nmen against U of C on February\n25 and 27 in Berkeley.\nUBC hosts the southerners in\ntwo games at UBC stadium\nMarch 31 and April 2.\nThe winner will be decided by\ntotal points on the series.\n^Ih&at&h (Jancoumh\nAccommodation from 25 to 4,000\n^SMORGASBORD\nit HOT MEALS\nit COLD BUFFET\nit LIGHT REFRESHMENT\nPrices ranging from; $1.25 to $3.00 per person including all\nIU\nJTL\nfi r L_\n6.\u25a0:'\u25a0\u25a0.\u2022\u25a0'' \u25a0\nFILM SOCIETY\n\"The Red Badge of Courage\"\nnoon today in the Aud. Admission\u2014series pass or 35c. *\n* * *\nM.A.A.\nAll managers must attend\nMAA meeting Wed.\n* * *\nLIBRARY\n\"How To USE The Library\"\none houij lectures in rooms 852\nand 859 of the Library: Jan. 11\nto 15, 9:30, 11:30, 1:30 and 3:30.\nJan. 16, 9:30 and 11:30.\n* * *\nLIBERAL CLUB _.\nGeneral meeting noon today,\nBu. 22. Outline for second term\nto be presented.\n* * *\nFILM SOCIETY\n\"Storm over Asia\" banned\nin B.C.\u2014noon today in Aud. admission series pass or 75c. Also\n3:30 6 and 8 p.m.\nALPHA OMEGA SOCIETY\nUkranian dancing today in\nroom 2, Education basement.\nentering First Year Nursing\nnext year are invited to a meeting for information concerning\nthe program in Westbrook Building, room 201, on Monday, Jan.\n18, at 7:30 p.m.\n* * *\nOBNOVA\nThe first meeting of this term\nwill toe held on Wednesday at\nREGISTRATION -\n(Continued on Page 8)\ncertificate as well as the court\ndate and city in which the papers\nwere issued.\nYou may be registered at the\nfollowing booths set up daily\nfrom 10:30 a.m. tol:30 p.m. by\nthe UBC CCF Club!\nTuesday: South Brock, Buchanan, Library.\nWednesday: Cafeteria, Engineering, Education.\nThursday: North Brock, Cafeteria.\nFriday: North Brock, Engineering, Education.\nnoon in Bu. 216.\nAll Ukranian Catholic Students are urged to attend this\nimportant meeting.\n* * *\nPRE-MED SOC\nPresents Dr. M. Evans, speaking 'on the magnitude of the\nproblem of Cancer and the new-\nness.of the solution Wednesday,\nJanuary 13, in Wesbrook 100 at\n12:30. ,\nROOM FOR RENT\nA large warm upper double\nroom, single beds, private\nwashroom; Bed and breakfast. ALma 0751.\nFOR RENT\nTwo nice individual rooms\nnear West Point Grey shopping area are sitting waiting.\nBreakfast optional.\nWhy not investigate?'\nAL 2052\nIE\nCANADA\nEmployment Opportunities\nI960\nRepresentatives of our Company will be conducting\nemployment interviews on the campus 20th, 21st and 22nd\nJanuary and will be glad to discuss our requirements for\nregular and summer employment with graduating students\nand undergraduates.\nRegular Employment\u2014-We have a number of interesting\nopenings in process, development, maintenance and design\nengineering,, technical service, financial and control, .personnel, traffic and research, for graduates in chemical, mechanical and other engineering courses, chemistry, physics, science,\narts, economics, commerce and business administration.\nSummer Employment\u2014As assistants to Process, Development and Design Engineers and for vacation relief in accounting, sales and production departments and the chemical\nlaboratories. Applications for employment are invited from\nmale students.in the courses and years listed below:\nClass of\n1961 1962 1963\nChemical Engineering x x x\nMechanical Engineering x x\nElectrical Engineering x x\nEngineering Physics x\nChemistry (Honours or Major) __ x x x\nCommerce or Business Admin. _ x x\nApplication forms, details of actual openings and interview appointments can be obtained through Colonel J. F.\nMcLean, Director of Personnel Services.\nDU PONT OF CANADA LIMITED\nPersonnel Division\nP.O. BOX 66\u20aci MONTREAL, P. Q.\n| U.B.C. RADIO BROADCAST SCHEDULE\nTime\nMonday\nTuesday\nWednesday\nThursday\nEye Opener\nEye Opener\nFriday\n8:30\nEye Opener\nEye Opener\nEye Opener\nEye Opener\nMusic Room\nEye Opener\nEye Opener\nEye Opener\nEye Opener\n9:00\nMusic Room\nMusic Room\nMusic Room.\nMusic Room\n10:00\nMusical\nShowcase\nMusical\nShowcase\nMusical\nShowcase\nMusical\nShowcase\nMusical\nShowcase\n10:30\nMusical\nShowcase\nMusical\nShowcase\nMusical\nShowcase\nMusical\nShowcase\nMusical\nShowcase\n11:00\nWorks of\nMasters\nWorks of\nMasters\nWorks of\nMasters\nWorks of\nMasters\nWorks of\nMasters\n12:00\nOpen House\n., Open House\nOpen House\nOpen House\nOpen House\n12:30\nOpen House\nOpen House\nOpen House\nOpen House\nOpen House\n1:00\nSearchlight\nMatinee\nSearchlight\nMatinee\nSearchlight\nMatinee\nSearchlight\nMatinee\nSearchlight\nMatinee\n1:30\nMatinee\nMatinee\nMatinee\nMatinee\nMatinee\n2:00\nUpbeat\nMatinee\nUpbeat\nMatinee\nUpbeat\nMatinee\nUpbeat\nMatinee\nUpbeat\nMatinee\n2:30\nOpen\nMike\nLatinos\nLatinos\nLatinos\nInternational\nHouseparty\n3:00\nJazz\nUnlimited\nJazs\nUnlimited\nJazz\nUnlimited\nJazs\nUnlimited\nJazz\nUnlimited\n3:30\nDixieland is\nMr Beet\nDixieland is\nMy Beat\nDixieland is\nMy Beat\nDixieland is\nMy Beat\nDixieland is\nMy Beat\n4:00\nCarnival\nin sound\nCarnival\nin sound\nCarnival\nin sound\nCarnival\nin sound\nCarnival\nin sound\n4:30\nCarnival\nin sound\nCarnival\nin sound\nCarnival\nin sound\nCarnival\nin sound\nCarnival\nin sound\nNews on the Hour - Headlines on tbe Half-Hour\n1200 Summer Positions 1200\nFOR\nUNIVERSITY STUDENTS\nWITH THE\nPublic Service of Canada\n$245 to $305 a Month\nFor Under-Graduates\nUp to $50\u00a9 a Month\nFor Graduate Students\nPlus travel allowances to and from\npositions and, where applicable,\nsubsistence in the field\nMost positions are for students with a background in\nEngineering or Science, notably Forestry, Geology and\nAgriculture, but some will be drawn from other faculties\nas well.\nPOSTERS, DETAILS and APPLICATION FORMS at\nUNIVERSITY PLACEMENT OFFICE\nCIVIL SERVICE COMMISSION\nOFFICES\nCLOSING DATE FOR APPLICATIONS JAN. 30th\n^tt^tfr&ftg (fijtttqmttg.\nIMCORPOHATtD an MAY IC70b\nOpportunity Knocking!\nTrain for an executive career in Department\nAdministration and Buying, Display, Personnel Management in one of the Hudson's Bay\nCompany's six large department stores located\nat Winnipeg, Vancouver, Calgary, Edmonton,\nVictoria and Saskatoon.\nMale graduates in Commerce, Business Administration and Arts are provided a thorough\nTraining Program consisting of:\n\u2022 4 month induction period covering all major\nstore functions.\n\u2022 2 year lecture course in merchandising,\n\u2022 Training under an experienced Department\nManager in Sales Management, Buying, Do*\npartment Administration.\nRetailing with the Bay offers the opporttnv\nity to move ahead quickly to positions of x*\u00bb\nuponsibility.\nMake an appointment note through your\nPlacement Officer to see our Representative\nfor full details.\nCAMPUS INTERVIEWS ON\nJANUARY 27 and 28th\n-\u00abm$\u00bb0 *?tt3Uivre:.-i\nMOOBYSSEY\nVANCOUVER, B.C.TUESDAY, JANUARY 12, 1960\nFarmers FroIic Friday\nAg\ngies Rampant\nRomping Campus\nThis is Aggie Week. I\nAll this week Aggies in Stetsons and Boots will be romping I -\n\u2022n the campus.\nTuesday will Taring the Moobyssey, the Aggie paper.\nWednesday will see the Aggies | -\nGelling apples to help the crip- j\npled children.\nDon't forget: an apple a day \u2022.\nkeeps the doctor away but if I\nbought from an Aggie on Wed-.\nnesday it will bring needed,\nmedical aid to those-who at pres-'\nent have little hope of running'\nOr playing.\nAt noon on Wednesday is the ;\nmonster Machinery Parade with ;\nthe Aggie Band. Get free milk ]\nwith your apple, only a limited \\\nsupply Wednesday noon.\nDance or listen to the Aggies i\nBand. Remember, this band \\\nWON'T be playing at FARMERS'\nFROLIC, even we could not\nstand 64 guitars and a mouth organ.\nOn Friday Nite is the gigantic;\nFarmers' Frolic. Anyone who has :\nbeen to it, whether they be Engineers, Artsmen, or what have ;\nyou, will tell you that it's the\nbest dance on campus.\nDress is hard times with prizes ;\nfor the best-dressed couple. See\nyou all on Friday at the Farm- \u2022\ners. Frolic. ;\nThat's the word of the\nFrolic this coming Friday.\nweek. It's the word for the year. It's the big annual Farmers*\nWhither\nTwong\nBy Jj PIERY\nTen thousand students and not\na single Twong Pouch. What\nhas happened to UBC's own\ntrademark, the one that made\nUBC famous before the Empire\nRowing Crew in 1954?\nGone are the days when at\nthe General Meetings, 3000 students, tears streaming down their\n'faces and their throats choked\nwith emotion, would sing the\nold UBC hymn, \"There'll Always be a Twong Pouch.\"\nBut UBC has forgotten and\nnow the Twong Pouch is no\nmore.\nThere isn't even a Twong\nPouch in the Museum of Anthropology!\nNot even the once gallant\nPubsters have accepted the challenge to return the almighty\nTwong Pouch to it's rightful\nplace: into the hands of every\nstudent and the memories of\nevery graduate.\nThe time once was when practically every student would\nshoulder his trusty Twong Pouch\nand set off to good old UBC each\nmorning.\nThe Twong Pouch carried the\nEngineer's beer, the Lawyer's\nbooks, the Artsman's lollipops,\neven the Pubster's typewriter\nsafe and sound through thick and\nthin with never a bit of trouble\nFor years the Twong Pouch\nWbs compulsory equipment on\n(Continued on Pag* 4\nScientist Needs\nSufferers Burp\ni\nSee WHITHER\nIf you've been here before you don't have to be told what it's like \u2014 but if you haven't, ~\nthen get a hold of the little woman and bring her to the Armories this Friday night.\nYou won't regret it and neither will she. Look at the following features:\nDancing from 9.00 p.m. to 1.00 a.m. |; '\nA swinging 6-piece orchestra.\nThe West Indian Limbo Dance at half time. ' *'\nRefreshment counter \u2014 and an opportunity for a really good time. x\nThe price is - a reasonable\n$2.50 per couple.\nThe music is superb, the at\u00bb\nmosphere friendly and informal.\nThe dress is hard times. All\nthat is necessary is that you\ncomply with the laws of the\nland regarding decency, of exposure at a university function.\nPlease do not expect admittance at the regular rate\nunless this condition is met.\nI Prizes are awarded for . th\u00ab ,\n| most original dress (or lack of it)\n| and for the most comical attire.\nSPIRITED FUN\nEveryone including Artsmen, ..\nEngineers, Foresters and Commercemen (to name only a few)\nenjoy the frolic. Former animosities are forgotten and rivalries disappear (well, almost), as\neveryone rises to the spirit(s)\n(liquid?) of the occasion.\nThe occasion demands only\none thing \u2014 that you \"get in\nthere'' and enjoy yourself.\nThe big new feature of the\nfrolic this year is the inclusion\nof the Trinidadian dance group\nknown as \"TRINIDAD PRIMI-\nTIF.\" These fellows put on a\nreally tremendous show. A\ntribute to their showmanship is\nthe fact that they have done\nrepeat performances at the\nhotels Vancouver and .Georgia,\nas well as many other notable\nplaces. They do such intricate\ndances as the LIMBO, BONGO,\nDANCE OF STRENGTH. The\nmusic is provided by their own\ndrummers.\nThe Farmers' Frolic in conjunction with Aggie week is almost a traditional function, on\ncampus. Ever since 21 B.C.\nthis campus has had a Farmers'\nFrolic dance. -\nHAIRY TIME\nIt is during this week that the\nAggies are host to the rest of\nthe campus.\nHow long is it since you have\n\"let your hair down\" and really\nhad a good time?. Why not come\nto the Armouries Friday night\nfor a truly fantabulous time.\nTickets can be obtained from\nany Aggie and at various points;\nthroughout the campus.\nSee you at the frolic on\nFriday night.\nTHE TRINIDAD PFTMATIF, will be the half time entertainment at the Farmers'Frolic\non Friday the 15th of January. The members of this group from the British West Indies\nare students at the University. Drummers are, Felix Assoon and Rudy Richards. Not\nshown Ron Rodgers. Dancers. Clinton Solomon and Lawrence Douglas,\nYour Best\nFor Barf\nBarf, an insidious disease of the stomach, and a common malady of student residences\nat UBC, is under intensive study at the Animal Nutrition Laboratory here.\nAggie scientists at UBC believe that it is caused by a deficiency of one of the necessary\ncomponents of the human diet, apples.\nWHAT AM I?\nThe answer to that question\ncan win one of the tremendous prizes to be given away\nat tne frolic. Come and see\nthe above - object. , Guess\n\u25a0what it represents., and .win\naoe.df tJie big prizes, \u25a0\nMost important evidence to\ndate is the fact that Barf incidence is sharply reduced at UBC\nfor a short period in the winter,\nafter Aggie Apple Day, and that\ncompulsive apple munchers seldom contract the disease.\nAggie investigators in co-operation with the Siam School of\nMedicine are attempting to develop a test for Barf by passing\nstomach gasses through a gas\nchromatograph.\nSPECIMENS NEEDED\nAt present the research has\nbeen hindered by a lack of test\nmaterial. Persons who wish Jo\nassist this research progrsm are\nasked to present themselves a*\nthe Animal Nutrition Lab between 4:00 a.m. and 5:30 a.m.\nany Sunday morning.\nThe only reliable treatment\nfor Barf is a constant diet of\napples.\nAPPLE CURE\nUBC's. Barf sufferers will be\nthankful to -know that Aggie\nApple Day is .at hand. Apples\nmay be obtained for a small donation, towards the- Crippled\nChildren's ..Hospital^ :\nPrayer Of A Faithful Aggie\nNow I lay me down to sleep\nI pray the .Lord my soul to keep\nIf I should die before I wake\nI've only five requests to make.\nPhysiology books \u2014 put at my head,\nTeLl Dr. Kitts I died in bed.\nPoultry diseases \u2014 put at my feet,\nTell Prof. Biely they had me beat\n' Agroajaiy \u2014 put across my chest,\nTell Dr. Brink \u2014 I'd have passed, the test.\nAnd beer stained pages put beneath one arm,\nTell my Prof's I meant no harm.\nPut Chem 300 the other side, . .\nAnd teH the Deait \"I'm glad I .died\". (ANON,.). PAGE TWO\nMOO B Y S S E Y\nTUESDAY, JANUARY 12. 198\u00bb\nTHE MOOBYSSEY\nMEMBER BETTER BARNS ASSN.\n(Permissable as (w) rapping for L.C.B. water)\nPublished once in a blue moon by those higher men an\ncampus \u2014 the* AGGIES. Opinions are not necessary. Born\nand raised on the second floor of the beef barn over a twong\npouch of jungle juice. Do not telephone.\nBusiness office: Poultry 2000.\nEDITOR, MIKE (The Sheriff) RAYNOR\nAssistant Editor, Harold Steves. AUS President, A. Cornwall\nReporters and Desk:\u2014Pat Gibney, Jerry Pine, Sue March,\nBernie Papkie, Ross (the Rock) Husdon, Tom Nisbett.\nPastels\nDean Blythe Eagles\nB.A., M.A., Ph.D., FC.I.R.\nF.R.S.\nDean of the Aggie Faculty\nScience In Agriculture\nFood has always been the primary necessity of life. In the\npresent rapid evolution of an industrial world society, adequate\nattention to the problems concerned with food production and\ndisti-ibution is essential to the achievement of social stability.\n\u2022 We must accelerate the pace of scientific development in agriculture if we are to meet this challenge.\nIndustrialization is a vital\nand ever growing part of the\npattern of agriculture.\nAgriculture must be adapted to play its role as a\npart of a very dynamic, highly technical, rapidly changing\neconomy.\n' ' \"The pattern 01 progress\ncalls for a combination of the\napplications of science to the\npractical problems of production in order to give assurance\nof performance and to gain a\ngreater voice at the market\nplace.\nThere must be an even\ngreater integration of farm\n(supply, farm production and food processing than we have yet\nbeen able to evolve. More attention must be paid to tne integration and management of. our resources. We must place\ngreater emphasis on the education of highly skilled farmers,\nfarm technicians and agricultural scientists.\nThe increasing complexity of modern agriculture requires\nthat increasing attention be given to problems of human relations within the agricultural industry.\nModern agriculture requires highly trairfed personnel to\nput into practice the new industrial dimensions provided by\nresearch\". We should never permit ourselves to be diverted\nfrom emphasizing the research challenge.\nThe pace of progress in agriculture, is in the last resort, set\nby the quality of the people who work in it and for it.\n. BLYTHE A. EAGLES,\nDean of Agriculture\n- EXODUS -\nPeriodically we hear a great hue and cry from the Press\nthat Canada is losing it's best men and women to the U.S.A.\nWe would like to know why they shouldn't leaye this country\nif they see fit.\nAnyone who delves into the subject will soon discover\nmuch to his patriotic indignation that Canada just isn't able\nto support its intelligensia.\nJust how many backwoods bushwhackers are interested\nin \"a bunch of educated fools\"? We'll wager not many.\nNo one in his right mind can condemn an intelligent person, who has probably beat his head against Canadian indifference to education far too long to have much remaining\nappetite for it, for heading south of the border where he will\nat least be appreciated.\nOn a strictly dollars and cents level, there are not too\nmany critics who would still be here if they could hire out\nfor more somewhere else. Patriotism wears mighty thin\nwhen money is involved, and why shouldn't a person get more\nfor his talents- elsewhere if he can ? People who would gag\ninitiative by stuffing a flag down someone's throat are doing\nsociety a disservice.\nLet's face it. Canadians are going to seek greener pastures elsewhere as long as their countrymen only provide\nthem with existences.\nPerjiaps a continued exodus of university graduates will\neventually wake up this country into realizing that higher\neducation must be provided for, and liberally.\nBrown horse waits for death\neyes closed and head down\nhead down and weight of bones\nshifting after a time\nfrom hoof to tired hoof.\nEye lids down and rump to\nBiting snow.\n\u2022The last old horse on the last\npiece of earth.\nGive it up and turn your face\ninto the weather-and die.\nYou stand on valuable land.\nWe are the pastels of progress\nwe have come to watch you die\nwe are the pink houses and\nthe blue houses and the\nyellow houses'\nand the beam-and-rafters\nand the hard-tops and the\nsplit-levels and the'\npink and powder blue.\nWe have come creeping and\ncrowding, crawling\naround your last field\nto see you die.\nTail to wind-whipped snow\nyou dream your dreams\nin the morning with the sun\nit will be warm and green again.\nBut we surround you* field\nto see you die.\nYou are standing on expensive\nbuilding lots old horse and\nany way you can't turn\nyour tail to us.\nSo be a good fellow and\ndon't stand around too long.\n\u25a0.This poem is by an Arts friend\nnot an Agsiel\nPRAISE\nRISE AND FALL\nWestern democracies have pondered for the last four decades whether or not the Soviet Union posed as great a threat to\ntheir existence as it would often have them believe.\nOnly fairly recently has it be-\t\ncome apparent that the Communists have shifted the emphasis from the military to the social and economic attack.\nThe longer we associate Communist strength with military\nmight the longer we will overlook their actual advantage over\nus, that of an over-riding sense\nof- responsibility to the state.\nThis sense of responsibility\nhas enabled the Russians and\nnow the Chinese to lift themselves., up by their own bootstraps. Education and research\nreceive attention that is astounding by North American standards.\nFrom an economic standpoint\nthe Soviets have it made. While\nwe strike and squabble over\nwages, scream for efficiency\nsapping subsidies and invite inflation, the Communists adhere\nto planned economies which\nhave and which will likely continue to enable them to capture\nour markets.\nIn our democracies we are\nfree to pursue our pleasure and\na higher standard of living\nwhile we sink deeper and\ndeeper into a cesspool of material greed. The Iron and Bamboo curtain countries on the\nother hand are girding themselves for the eventual conflict, be\nit military, economic or social.\nObservers in China have noted\na frightening degree of individual obedience in the interest of\nnational policy. It is inconveiv-\nable that the Chinese with their\nenviable persistence will not\nsomeday become a major if not\nthe primary world power if\ngiven able leadership and Western indifference to their accomplishments.\nSince a democracy places the\nresponsibility for financial well\nbeing, government participation, and acceptance of differing\nsocial or religious groups largely up to the individual, there is\nlittle or no concrete policy in\nthese areas of conduct.\nIt is a tribute to \u25a0 the masterminds who patterned the Com-\nunist means of attack in a manner so subtle that the West\ncould sabotage itself without\nbeing aware of its danger\nAt present we show no interest in being taken advantage of\nin this way. We are too busy\ngetting more money, leisure and\nflaccid. The parallel between\nus and the Roman civilization is\nshocking.\nWe may see fpr ourselves\nStalin's belief come true\u2014 that\nthe West would fall from inner\ncorrosion.\nThere are more than twenty-\nseven fields of study open to the\nStudent of Agriculture.\nLetters to Um Editor\nThe VANCOUVER SUN\n\"B.C.'s Home Newspaper\"\nDear Aggies:\nGlad to hear there are still\npeople devoted to intellectual\nresearch who are pursuing the\nelusive twong pouch legend.\nAs far as I remember, its birth\ncame as one of those little fillers used to plug tiny holes ia\nthe Ubyssey, in the \"goon\"\nedition of 1954.\nThis paper Was a satire on\nthe (then) 'three Vancouver\ndailies and the fillers were also\nsupposed to be take-offs on the\ntype of \"Statistics show 45,678\nton's of bauxite was mined in\nBritish Guiana in 1876\" type\nof thing you find in a paper.\nThe twong pouch item read,\nin its entirety: \"Twong pouches\n' used by Elsodome natives, are\nfashioned from rhinocerous\nscrotums by the village elders.\"\nThis, for some reason, was\ngreeted with cries- of delight\nand hysteria by a goodly portion of the populace and soon\nwe were running features such\nas \"How to Build Your Own\nTwong Pouch,\" advertisements\nfor Twong Pouch Weaving\nClasses, etc. Authors Sandy\nRoss and Rod Smith arrived\nat that year's Mardi Gras\ndressed as twong pouches, and\nlooked about as obscene as it\nsounds.\nRod is still in the medical\nfaculty at UBC and could perhaps enlighten you further.\nSandy is presently scrouging\nin garbage cans in Paris and\nno doubt spreading the twong\npouch gospel further afield.\nHope this provided some insight into this important field.\nYours for research,\nALLAN FOTHERINGHAM,\n* * *\nPROGRESS\nEditor,\nThe Moobyssey,\nDear Sir:\nIs it me or has the campus\nundergone a subtle change. A\nfew short years ago pubsters\nchased pretty girls around the\ncampus quaffing beer as they\nran, or took delight in swimming the lily pond. Now all\nis quiet in the North Brock\nbasement. Even Jim McFar-\nlan no longer dwells there. The\nghosts qf Sandy Ross and other\npast Editors have shrivelled!\nand died. Now even a dog is\nnews.\nOn the other side of th\u00ab\ncampus there Is another deathly stillness.\nNo longer do we hear the\nscreams from the Engineering\nBuilding. In the Common\nRoom of the Forestry Undergrad Society, CHESS has taken\nthe olace of Stuke. In the Aggie\nBuilding where the halls formerly echoed with \"I'll see\nyour 10 and raise you two\nbits\"; they now listen as some\nburley cowboy whispers, \"I bid\nthree no trump\".\nNo longer does the turf seeth\nwith wrestling, shouting, grinning foemen in the blue, green\nand red sweaters.\nEven in the cafes we see\nfraternization among the former foes. The Pub office does\nnot know what a Redshirt\nlooks like. Soon the former\nMEN of the campus will become as the Artsmen.\nI do not know whether this\nis a blessing or a curse. True\nwe are fast on the way to becoming one of the \"Halls of\nIvy\", but are we losing our\nEspirit de Cour.\" Would it\nnot be better to see a full general meeting than gentlemen\nwith filter tipped cigarettes. I\ncan only end with a quote:\u2014\n\"My god we're civilized.\"\n\u2014 A REBEL\nCOMPLAINTS\nDear Sir:\nI've heen hearing about this\nhorrid affair that you College\npeople call the Farmers' Frolip\nfrom my little girl who is in\nH. Ec. If it is anything like it\nis reported to be, I think the\nFaculty of Agriculture should\nbe moved to Dawson Creek,\nwhere people are supposed to\ngo in for that sort of thing.\nSuch a move would protect\ninnocent little girls like my\nJoanie from these drunken\nfarm people. I will have you\nknow that my little darling\nmade her debut at Lord Nelson's Balldast year and I won't\nhave her social standing ruined by such an obscene spectacle.\nYours indidpantly,\nMiss I. D. Loveto,\nDawson Crik. TUESDAY, JANUARY 12. 1960\nMOOBYSSEY\niPAGE THREE\nI Was An Aggie\nAgent On Council\nBy ROCK HUDSON\nI have always been a good Aggie. That's why it gets me. I can't speak to my friencs\n(because they won't talk to me.) Even my family thinks I'm a dirty Council Member. But\nreally, I'm a good Aggie. ^\n; Each Monday, when I go to our little U. S.C. cell meeting, I shudder when I think cf\nj what would happen to the campus if these djabolical, fanatic, greedy, cheating, etc., etc., etc.,\n; people took over.\n\"Ah, Marge, I see you have' \"Shurtainly, doll, thish\nREDBEARD, one of the master spies employed by the\nAggies, shown in his usual habitat. Jeri'y is famous for\nhis quick change ability. He can change from Artsman to\nEngineer at a moment's notice. Not shown is Jerry's\nbeautiful partner, Gail, who has milked more out of UBC\nthan any other of her type.\nLike last week, when comrade ,-.\u201e\u201e,\u201e,, , 0 , T , . \u201e ,\nMarge Magothellofattofski came \u25a0 Co\"fad* Ro<* \u2122\u00abi you. Is he ; Rock c\u201e manage aw right.\"\nup to me and breathed \"Hello, ; \u00a3*\u201e%t0 undertake the \u00b0Pera\" i 1 ^clded d started out at a fast crawl\na real party girl (what a doll) to lure Rodent-chuck to the base-i for the Brock. It would have\nso I wasn't Interested. ment T knew his usual haunts, j taken hours if Marge (God! What\nShe breathed into my ear j checked the nurses' residence,'a woman!) hadn't insisted on car-\n(that's why my hair is singed on t-he girls, dorrrrS] the Belmont J rying me.\none side) \"Rock, honey, can I the Dufferin, and I finally found j My crafty brain was formulat-\ncall you Comrade,\" hjm on the steps of tJle Mary \\inS a plan\u2014at all costs, I had to\nStill in my flat monotone, I Bollert Hall. He was sitting j stoP thi\u00ab invasion of our sacred\nsnapped (but she got away) . . . ; there holding a shepherd's crook, j orgy- My plan had to work.\n\"Sure, Marge.\" (I decided to and serenading the girls with a i Marge dragged me into the\nplay-along with her\u2014the doll), harmonica blending the Ehgi-'back room again. She held me\nWhile she was chewing on my lneers song and Mary Had a Lit- i on her lap while I made my report. She was sure helpful con-\nBy BERNIE PAPKE\n(From the Secret Files of the A.U.S.)\n-vr ^ t_ x u in a. i t u l- \u00abj -- ~ ear, she asked me to come with Ui\u201e t q\u2122u\nNow it can be told. For two long years I have lived ma.,' .. , . , , . ,\u2014 Ec- Sirl ln disguise and although\nI am still not interested, we are\nquick, come quick, there's five\ncases of beer, a bottle of etho-\nnol and three nurses stashed\naway in the north basement of\nthe Brock.\nI'M AN AGGIE.\n(God' What a woman!)\nhim just as he entered the Pra\nvada office and I turned him\nover to the press head, Comrade\nWhite.\nPlan Y was complete. Marge\ncongratulated me for several\nhours, but I wasn't interested so\nI got up and went back to the\nmeeting.\nThe councillors were chuck- <\nling as I broke into their regu- j\nlar Monday night joke sessipn. j\nI made my report and Marge j\nwanted to congratulate me again, j\nbut there were too many people\naround and, anyway, I wasn't\ninterested. |\ni I was then assigned to carry ,\n! out plan Z. I decided to find j\ni out more about operation Z so ]\n11 steered Marge out of the meet- \u2022\nj ing and into a little \"speakeasy\" ;\nlocated under the,- auditorium. I\n| (One flight down and ask for:\nNorm.) This joint was in thei\nGreek Quarter and was a Council stronghold. It's so strong, in j\nfact, that most of the comrades j\ngo by two or three letters in-;\nstead f names. * I\nRYE ON ROCKS j\nI ordered a couple of drinks I\ni at the bar and brought them i\nback to the table. \"Well, here's;\n; mud in your cup,\" said-Marge.;\ni downing her drink in one gulp. !\nj I got her another drink, I fig-;\n| ured a few more and she would j\n! reveal everything (even opera- j\n; tion Z). I was playing it cool j\n\u2014while Marge was kissing l'il\n| old disinterested me, I was trading my cups for her empties. She\nhad 67 to my four and was becoming talkative. \"Rock, honey,\ndo you really think you can handle operation Z?\"\ngetting married. We have to,\nfor the sake of the seventeen\nlittle monsters we are going to\nhave.\nSCRATCH PAD\nNARROW MINDED\nARTSMEN PAGE FOUR\nM O O B Y S S E Y\nTUESDAY, JANUARY 12, 198\u00ab\nThe photos show the reclamation work being carried out\nby the A.U.S. Bill Skerrett, a refugee from war-torn\nOntario was found in pain and suffering under the library\nstairs. After calming his fears 4hey took him in and gave\nhim a home. The photo on the left shows Bill as he was\nfound. The photo on the right shows Bill well on the road\nto moral recovery.\nThe method used to remove the brainwashing that he re\nceived in the East is that of making him feel at home.\nThis was accomplished by teaching him how to play bridge\nand introducing him to girls. The last proved most difficult\nas in Ontario the frigid weather has caused all to dress\nalike in mukluks and parkas. Bill has now reached the\nstage where he can drink 10 glasses of nourishment before\npassing out, but he still has a tendency to trump his\npartner's ace. *\nBooze And Broads At UBC\nA freshman came to the campus,\nTo get a higher learning,\nHe dreamed of campus cuties,\nFor beer his heart was yearning.\nFirst he was an artsman,\nBut Arts he found was dead.\nThen engineering was his goal.\nBut he loathed that body red.\nThen Forestry, the woodenheads,\nHis heart was full of splinters,\nThen commerce with its Ivy League,\nThen Law, its heart of winters.\nBut in all of these dead faculties\nHis heart was sorely troubled,\nHeads they need, not brains he found.\nAnd his problems he redoubled.\nFor women loathed these weaklings\nAnd he drank his beer'alone,\nFor none of them would drink the stuff\n'Cept redshirts with a moan.\nThen his eye is gladdened\nAnd his cup he quickly drains,\nFor Blue sweatered and Stetsoned Aggies\nHave beer and dolls and brains.\nFor here he found his kindred\nSharp and tough and wise\nWith their beautiful companions\nOf the soft and limpid eyes.\nAnd beer then was no problem\nFor if it was not strong\nThey left the pub in anger\nThey'd brought their own along.\nTwong\nPouch\nFound\nI Professor Beely. UBC's re-\nj nowned poultry scientist, recently found an ancient twong pouch\nwhile he was sorting feed bags\nj in the Poultry Buildings.\n1 \"I thought it was a small duffel bag until I saw it in the\nlight.\" he said.\nDr. Beely stated that it was\nthe first twong pouch he had\nseen for seven years and that ha\nbelieved it had originally been\nused for collecting eggs.\n\"I have already been offered\nmore than a month's salary for\nit,\" he chuckled.\nNegotiations are in progress\nto have the twong pouch display\"\ned at the Farmers' Frolic, an\nAggie council member stated.\n\"Yes, Mom, I had a wonderful time at the frolic last nite\"\nRubber Cheque\nI was a Teamster for the Aggies\nPart Four of a Seven Part Serial\nj (Synopsis)\n! Our hero has got a job at the UBC Dairy barn as a manure\nspreader operator and has successfully infiltrated the Teamsters. Although in the foreman's disfavour the first day, he is\nnow well liked.\nPart IV\n\"Say kid, like to come- to a\nparty?\" the boss said.\nI said, \"Okay by me.\"\nHe said, \"meet me at the barn\nat eight tonight.\"\nI arrived at the barn on time\nand found him shuffling about\nrepeating, \"I just can't wait.\"\nShortly, a huge tractor trailer\ndiesel marked Royal Canadian\nShrews pulled into the yard.\nTiny rushed over to the trailer,\nyanked a lever that opened a\ndoor, let down a ladder, and\ntumbled a semi-naked babe into\nhis arms.\nShe screeched, \"I just lean on The new Coat of Arms for\nthis door and the damn thing UBC shows a Twong Pouch Ram\ntiles opert; Tmeee, your open.\" pant-on. a field of blue. It-was\n(To be continued) - proposed*, by- Cal-- Drier\nRubber Cheque, the only rubber tycoon from' Brazil to\ngraduate from Agriculture at UBC, was recently featured in\nthe Manoes Rubber Planter for his exceptional success at\ngrowing rubber.\nWhen Rubber attended Aggie\neverybody knew him as the inventor of the prophylactic guaranteed to be unsafe every time.\nIt was Rubber's answer to Brazil's unpopulated jungles.\nRubber returned to Brazil and\nset about planning the largest\nrubber plantation in the world.\nAs luck would have it World\nWar II broke out and the price\nof rubber stretched like a worn\nout girdle. Rubber was on top\nof the world until the price sagged during the great rubber recession. Synthetic rubber was\nmaking its inroads.\nAll of a sudden the rubber\nplantation workers went on\nstrike, and it looked as though\nour friend was in for a long\nstretch of bad luck. The workers were incensed over the fact\nthat Rubber Cheque's perfectly\ngood rubber cheques (began to\nbounce at the bank as a result\nof the rubber recession.\nIt never rains but it pours in\nBrazil and one day Rubber was\nflooded out by a tropical deluge.\nA month later, there was a big\ndrought and to top it all off the\nPubs closed and as Rubber said\n\"it was really dry.\"\nThe war ran out and so did\nthe money, but then a wonderful thing happened; termites undermined Rubber's house and it\nfell down.\nJust as Rubber's legs were at\ntheir rubberiest he happened to\nnotice that the termites were\ninvading . his : beloved rubber\nplantation. \u2022.\u25a0Upon- close- o-bser-r\nvati.on. he \/happened te notice\nthat when termites drilled holes\nin his trees the trees yielded\nfive times as much rubber.\nThings were looking up and\nso did Rubber only to find that\nhis trees had contracted Twong\npouch gall, a strange fungi that\nforms a mycelium in the shape\nof a pouch. Far from getting\nworried he simply had the trees\ninfected with Twong pouch gall\nimmediately below the termite\nholes with the result that the\nlatex ran into the pouch.\nNot only did Rubber produce\na completely new product, rubberized Twong pouches, but he\nwas able to lay off half of the\nrubber gathering crew that had\nnever really forgiven \u25a0 him for\nthe bouncing cheques.\nRubber became wealthy very\nrapidly and is now an honored\nmember of the Rubber Club, a\npliable Brazilian society.\nMoral: Don't be afraid to\nstretch your imagination.\n\u2014 J. PIRIE\nCLASSIFIED\nWANTED \u2014 Rood, at New\nWestminster, small, comfortable. Phone ALma 4600. Local\n600. ask for AL.\n\u25a0 WANTED \u2014 Lessons in beer\ndrinking. We supply beer. Apply EUS office. ,\nFOUND\u2014One purple twong\npouch with \"51 . Austin inside.\n\u25a0Owner can claim, by identifying.\nWHITHER TWONG\n(Continued from Page 1)\nthe Football Teams. Maybe that's\nwhy the Birds don't win any\nmore.\nMURDER\nBut something terrible happened.\nAdmittedly the Twong Pouch\nwas surrounded by a leery aura.\nSome people even said that the\nwitch doctors of Southern Rhodesia had hexed them.\nThey became increasingly unpopular after the Vice-President\nof the A.M.S. was found strangled one night in the strings\nof his Twong Pouch, held fast\nby a mysterious knot that could\nnot be undone.\nThe case was never solved.\nThen somebody discovered\nbrief cases, newfangled contraptions that snapped closed on unsuspecting wrists at the drop of\na Frat pin.\nSomehow people also thought\nbrief cases looked more dignified. ;\nLAST STAND\nFearing student hysteria and\nthe loss of revenue from the\nTwong Pouch sales monopoly\nheld by the College Shop, tha\nA.M.S. president sent an emissary to Southern Rhodesia to\nconfer with the distributors\nHe was, if possible, to have\nan audience with the tribal\nchiefs who manufactured the\nPouches and retained the secret\nwaterproofing formula which\nhelped make the Twong Pouch\nfamous.\nThe emissary apparently succeeded but, alas, brief cases had\nbecome the rage during his absence and remain so to this day.\nWHITHER TWONG?\nShall we ever see the intrepid\nTwong Pouch once more on cam- *\npus?\nThis writer thinks so. for who\nbut the most fainthearted can\nresist .the allure of the Twong\nPouch legend' Their call of the\nwilds of the Dark Continent?\nTheir pungent aroma that not\neven the chemical engineers\ncould duplicate, and most important their low price, only \u00a31\n3s at any Central African post\nof the British East India Company.\n\"LOST\u2014Small article at Aggie\nbanquet. Finder please contact. B. Wttloughbyy Ksq, before\nFriday.'\nA gold poke is not necessarily\na twong pouch, but., a twong\npouch is -a goal poked.","@language":"en"}],"Genre":[{"@value":"Newspapers","@language":"en"}],"GeographicLocation":[{"@value":"Vancouver (B.C.)","@language":"en"}],"Identifier":[{"@value":"LH3.B7 U4","@language":"en"},{"@value":"LH3_B7_U4_1960_01_12","@language":"en"}],"IsShownAt":[{"@value":"10.14288\/1.0124964","@language":"en"}],"Language":[{"@value":"English","@language":"en"}],"Provider":[{"@value":"Vancouver : University of British Columbia Library","@language":"en"}],"Publisher":[{"@value":"Vancouver : Publications Board of the Alma Mater Society, University of B.C.","@language":"en"}],"Rights":[{"@value":"Images provided for research and reference use only. Permission to publish, copy, or otherwise use these images must be obtained from The Ubyssey: http:\/\/ubyssey.ca\/","@language":"en"}],"SortDate":[{"@value":"1960-01-12 AD","@language":"en"},{"@value":"1960-01-12 AD","@language":"en"}],"Source":[{"@value":"Original Format: University of British Columbia. Archives","@language":"en"}],"Subject":[{"@value":"University of British Columbia","@language":"en"}],"Title":[{"@value":"The Ubyssey","@language":"en"}],"Type":[{"@value":"Text","@language":"en"}],"Translation":[{"@value":"","@language":"en"}],"@id":"doi:10.14288\/1.0124964"}