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This could be a full linked open date URI or an internal identifier"}],"FileFormat":[{"label":"File Format","value":"application\/pdf","attrs":{"lang":"en","ns":"http:\/\/purl.org\/dc\/elements\/1.1\/format","classmap":"edm:WebResource","property":"dc:format"},"iri":"http:\/\/purl.org\/dc\/elements\/1.1\/format","explain":"A Dublin Core Elements Property; The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource.; Examples of dimensions include size and duration. Recommended best practice is to use a controlled vocabulary such as the list of Internet Media Types [MIME]."}],"FullText":[{"label":"Full Text","value":" Education hurt by budget\nBy CHRIS GAINOR\nThe 1976 provincial budget introduced Friday by Social Credit\nfinance minister Evan Wolfe will\nhurt universities, which had their\ncapital funds cut in half and\noperating funds increased by only\n9.5 per cent.\nUniversity operating funds this\nyear have been increased to $164.5\nmillion from $150.2 million last\nyear. Capital grants, were cut\nfrom $12 million last year to $6\nmillion this year. Of the $12 million\nlast year, UBC got $10 million.\nUniversities council chairman\nWilliam Armstrong said in an\ninterview Wednesday the council\nwill meet next week to start\ndividing the funds between B.C.'s\nthree public universities.\nHe also said changes will be\nintroduced soon to the .Universities\nAct which will allow capital\nprojects to be funded by university\nborrowing.\n\"The $6 million (allocated this\nyear) was a stop gap thing until the\nnew legislation comes through,\" he\nsaid.\n\"Most of the $6 million is for\ncompleting projects in progress\nand for renovations.\"\nUnder the former Socred\ngovernment, large capital projects\nsuch as the Columbia and Peace\nRiver hydroelectric projects were\nlisted as \"contingent liabilities,\" of\ncrown corporations.\nThrough this terminology, the\nSocred government declared itself\ndebt-free for 20 years despite the\nmassive debts incurred for these\nprojects.\nEducation minister Pat McGeer\nsaid in an interview last week the\nUniversities Act would be changed\nto allow long-term planning of\ncapital projects.\nWhen asked about the money\nallocated in the budget for\noperating funds, Armstrong said:\n\"It was a good deal less than we\nhad asked.\"\nHe said once the Universities\nCouncil allocates funds, the\nuniversity administrations will\nhave to decide which programs\nwill be reduced.\nUBC administration president\nDoug Kenny said in a letter this\nweek to faculty that the coming\nyear \"could be a difficult one for\nthe university.\" The next fiscal\nyear begins April 1.\nKenny said he has met with other\nadministration officials to prepare\ncontingency plans to meet the anticipated cutbacks.\n\"We are concerned to maintain\nthe standards and vitality of the\nbasic academic enterprise of\nteaching and research.  We also\nTfVF UB YSSEY\nVol. LVII, No. 68 VANCOUVER, B.C., THURSDAY, APRIL 1, 1976\n228-2301\nUBYSSEY STAFFERS commit suicide Wednesday, overwhelmed by\nhorrifying discovery they too are students and must face traumatic\nexperience of writing final exams, as well as enduring nerve shattering\n\u2014james kent photo\nordeal of putting out best student newspaper east of Japan all year.\nMeanwhile, leering monster Doug Field crawls over retaining wall to\nfeast on still fresh bodies.\nMore UBC graduates face fewer jobs\nBy GREGG THOMPSON\nAfter four years of academic\nheadaches, financial hassles and\nother assorted deprivations, a lot\nof university students will walk off\nthe graduation platform this year\nwithout jobs.\nStudent placement officers at\nboth the university and federal\nManpower level readily admit the\nsame thing \u2014this year's graduates\nface the worst job outlook ever.\nThe reason they give is singular\n\u2014 the economy is in rough shape\nand in times of economic slowdown\ncorporations, governments and\nsmall businessmen just don't hire.\nDick Shirran, in charge of UBC\nstudent services, says that company hiring practises are at a low\nlevel this year and will remain that\nway until the financial picture\nlooks brighter.\n\"A lot of companies are holding\nback just waiting to see which way\nthe economy will go,\" he said in a\nrecent interview.\nThere's another problem too \u2014\nwhile the economy is at a low point,\nuniversities are turning out more\ngraduates than ever before.\nA report prepared in 1970 for the\nEconomic Council of Canada\npredicted that \"university full-\ntime enrolment alone in 1980-81\nmay   reach   the   750,000   level\ncompared with 260,000 in 1967-68,\"\nan almost 200 per cent increase.\nIn British Columbia, post-\nsecondary university enrolment is\nexpected to reach 80,000 by 1980 \u2014\ncompared to a mere 29,000 in 1968.\nThe report also predicted that\nbetween 1967 and 1981 there would\nbe increases of 130 per cent in the\nnumber of bachelor's degrees, a\n310 per cent rise in the number of\nmaster's degrees and a 470 per\ncent jump in the number of doctorate degrees granted.\nU.S. figures show a similar\ntrend. Although 1.3 million BAs,\nMAs and Ph.D.s will be granted\nthis year, the number of\nprofessional, managerial and\ntechnical jobs in the U.S. has risen\nby little more than a third.\nShirran says UBC grads at the\nbachelor level will number about\n3,600 this year, about the same as\nlast year, but he says it's difficult\nto determine just how many of\nthose grads his office will be able to\nplace.\n\"It's really too early to pull this\ntype of information together,\" he\nsays. \"A lot of the companies don't\nknow what they're doing yet and\nwhile we've made  contact  with\nGoodies and goodbyes\nThe Ubyssey unabashedly wraps up yet another record-breaking\nyear with a bevy of goodies in our last issue.\nAnd as an extra added bonus, this issue includes a special pull-out,\nfold-up, cut-up goon issue. This year, Ubyssey staffers have chosen\nthat upper class jock favorite, Sports Illustrated, to spoof. It starts on\npage 9 and there is an explanation of how to read it on page 8, complete\nwith diagrams and humorous drawings. If you can't figure it out, you\ndon't belong at UBC.\nAs if that isn't enough, Chris Gainor wraps up the year in a feature\nstarting on page 3. On the same page, Mark Buckshon looks at the way\nthe UBC administration is handling continuing education. And on page\n7, Habitat is examined by Nancy Southam.\nAll those goodies should hold you until The Ubyssey returns next\nSeptember for another great year.\nthem we haven't received much\nfeedback.\n\"So the results are unavailable\nbut they are likely to be the same\nas last year.\"\nShirran has recently released a\nreport about post graduation activities of 1975 UBC graduates in\nselected faculties, which details\nwhat graduates of UBC's 17\nfaculties and schools' did after\ngraduating last spring.\nAccording to the report:\n\"Science and arts graduates had\nthe greatest difficulty obtaining\nemployment, having an unemployment rate for those seeking\nemployment of 25 per cent and 22.5\nper cent respectively.\"\nAlthough the. figures and\nstatistics are a year old, they are\nmost likely an accurate reflection\nof things to come this year, as\nShirran admits.\nWhat are some of the highlights?\nFor arts students \u2014 52.5 per cent\ncontinued their education in some\nform, either in grad school, a\nprofessional program or some\nother way. Forty per cent sought\nemployment and more than 22 per\ncent of those seeking jobs were\nunsuccessful.\n\"Many of those employed were\nworking in jobs unrelated to their\nSee page 2: MORE\nwant to preserve as much capacity\nas possible for initiative and\ndevelopment in at least some areas\nof that enterprise,\" Kenny said.\nFunds allocated for student\nscholarships and bursarys were\ncut from $12 million last year to $10\nmiEion.\nBut Byron Hender, UBC's\nstudent awards director, said\nWednesday the cut should make\nlittle difference because not all of\nlast year's student aid budget was\nspent.\n\"I don't think there will be a\nmajor decrease in the aid package\navailable to students.\n\"The feeling I have from the\npeople I talked to in the\n(education) department is that\nthere hasn't been a substantial\ncut,\" Hender said.\nHender said less than $11 million\nwas spent last year on scholarships\nand bursaries.\nBut Lake Sagaris, chairwoman\nof the B.C. Student Federation,\nsaid Wednesday the student aid\nbudget was not fully spent last year\nbecause of  poor  administration.\nMany students had difficulty\nobtaining any aid at all, Sagaris\nsaid. \"That $2 million cut is going\nto hurt people.\"\nSagaris also rapped the\ngovernment for small increases in\nbudgets for community colleges.\nShe said that while McGeer\npromised 18 per cent increases,\nmany colleges have been told they\nwill have only eight per cent more\nnext year.\nUbyssey\nsafe to\neat, drink\nBy MARCUS GEE\nThe Ubyssey is safe to both eat\nand drink, according to the results\nof an experiment by two UBC\nchemistry students.\nThe experiment, conducted by\nGlenn Piwowar and Gordon Giles,\nboth science 2, showed the lead\ncontent of The Ubyssey is well\nwithin federal safety limits.\nPiwowar said Wednesday the\npair boiled the newspaper in nitric\nacid for five hours to measure its\nlead content.\n\"The Ubyssey is legal to eat,\ndrink and play with,\" Piwowar\nsaid. \"You could soak it in orange\njuice for days, drink the orange\njuice and still suffer no ill effects.\"\nBut Piwowar said regularly\neating The Ubyssey could cause\nloss of hair, festering sores and\nslow healing of cuts as the results\nof a lead build-up in the body.\n\"If you ate The Ubyssey each\nday there would be a dangerous\nbuild-up,\" he said.\nGiles said the pair decided to test\nthe newspaper's lead content\nbecause they suspected the ink\nused in printing it would produce\nrelatively high levels.\n\"We decided the two best things\nto boil in nitric acid for five hours\nwould be The Ubyssey and our lab\nmanual.\"\nGiles said The Ubyssey emitted a\nsmelly brown gas while being\nboiled in the acid then burst into\nflames shortly before the end of the\nfive hour experiment.\nGiles attributed the combustion\nto the newspaper's \"radical\nnature.\" He said only a small pile\nof \"mush\" remained of The\nUbyssey at the end of the five\nhours.\nThe boiled lab manual showed a\nlower lead content than The\nUbyssey, Piwowar said. The lab\nmanual's lead content was 1.46\nparts per million and The\nUbyssey's was 2.11, he said.\nBoth levels are well within the\nfederal safety standards which\nprohibit lead content levels above\n5,000 parts per million. Page 2\nTHE      UBYSSEY\nThursday,  April   1,   1976\nMore unemployed males\nFrom page 1\nacademic majors,\" the report\nsaid, and continued, \"it is apparent\nthat many of the graduates were\nengaged in employment that was\nnot related to their education. The\nimplication of this should not be\noverlooked by those engaged in\neducational or career planning.\"\nFor science grads \u2014 52.9 per cent\ncontinued in other educational\nprograms, while 41.1 per cent\nsought employment and only 75 per\ncent of those were successful. On a\ndepartmental basis, zoology had\nthe highest unemployment rate\nwith 42.3 per cent, followed by\ngeology with 40 per cent and\nphysics with 30 per cent.\n\"Some of the B.Sc. graduates\nwho found employment were either\nunderemployed or employed in\njobs not related to their degrees,\"\nthe report said.\nRick Longton, engineering 4 and\nplacement representative for the\nengineering undergraduate\nsociety, says applied science grads\n\"face one of the worst years ever\"\nin the search for jobs.\n\"Engineers are hired by the big\ncompanies for the most part and\ntheir hiring is related to the\neconomic situation,\" he says,\nadding that there are 20 per cent\nfewer jobs being offered to gears\nthis year than last year.\nElectrical engineers will be the\nhardest hit, because of B.C. Hydro\ncutbacks, and chemical engineers\nwill get off easiest primarily\nbecause of a small class size,\nLongton says.\nLast year, 5.7 per cent of applied\nscience grads seeking employment\nfailed to land a job.\nMark Dwor, president of the law\nstudents association, says all law\ngraduates will find articles this\nyear but some may have to leave\nthe city to do it.\n\"We now anticipate that all\nstudents will be absorbed\nsomewhere in the province. It's not\nso much of a problem as it was\nthree months ago,\" he says.\nBut Dwor adds that the situation\nwill get worse as law schools in'\nVictoria and Calgary begin\ngraduating students in the next\nyear or two.\nHe says that by 1983 there will be\ntwice as many lawyers in B.C. as\nthere were in 1973. Is law school\nworth it with jobs in short supply?\n\"It's economically and intellectually fulfilling and provides\nopportunities for social mobility. I\ndon't   think   anyone   has   ever\no\nHELD AT TEPEE   RECREATIONAL CENTRE\n1601 West 5 th Avenue, Vancouver B.C. Telephone: 7310912\nmarch 25 april 3 \/it\nGENEROUS DISCOUNTS\nalso USED RENTAL EQUIPMENT for sale\naP\n& *\n\/,\/\nopened daily 8-6\nthursday,fridayB-9\nclosed on Sunday\npromised a law student a position\nwhen he gets out,\" Dwor says.\nAccording to Shirran's report,\n96.5 per cent of law students\nseeking articles obtained them last\nyear, out of a surveyed grad class\nof 207 students.\nJack MacDonald, forestry undergraduate society placement\nofficer, says only 25 out of 76\nforestry grads have received\npermanent jobs this year.\nSee page 21: FORESTRY\nPROBLEM: YOU'RE BURNING RUBBER\nON THE SLOPES AND WIPING OUT\nAT THE END OF THE PEN.\nSOLUTION: Register with the UBC\nTutorial Centre, 12:30 - 1:30 p.m.,\nSpeak-Easy. Fee $1. They'll find you\na tutor. For information call\n228-4557 anytime. Fee refundable if\nno tutor is available.\nA programme of the UBC Alumni Association\nsound\nweawea wea\nEAGLES GREATEST HITS.\nA NIGHT AT THE OPERA -\nQUEEN.\nSWEET HARMONY - MARIA\nMULDAUR.\nM.U. - THE BEST OF JETHRO\nTULL-JETHRO TULL.\nFOOL FOR THE CITY - FOG-\nHAT.\nONE OF THESE NIGHTS -\nEAGLES.\nRUN WITH THE PACK - BAD\nCOMPANY.\nHISTORY - AMERICA'S\nGREATEST HITS - AMERICA.\nHISSING OF SUMMER LAWNS\n-JONI MITCHELL.\nEAGLES-EAGLES.\nRCilRC\/lRC\/1\nSTATION    TO    STATION\nDAVID BOWIE.\nRED OCTOPUS - JEFFERSON\nSTARSHIP.\nCANT     BUY    A    THRILL    -\nSTEELY DAN.\nPHOTOGRAPHS & MEMORIES\n-JIM CROCE.\nDARYL     HALL     &    JOHN\n'     OATES.\nZIGGY STARDUST - DAVID\nBOWIE.\nKATY LIED - STEELY DAN.\nYOUNG     AMERICANS     -\nDAVID BOWIE.\nGREATEST    HITS    -    JOHN\nDENVER.\nKC & THE SUNSHINE BAND.\nTHE LEPRECHAUN -\nCHICK COREA.\n2112- RUSH.\nBUTTERFLY BALL - ROGER GLOVER & GUESTS.\nRELEASE - HENRY GROSS.\nHEAD    ON    -    BACHMAN-TURNER\nOVERDRIVE.\nBLACK BEAR ROAD - C. W. McCall.\nNEVER     CAN    SAY     GOODBYE    -\nGLORIA GAYNOR.\nMAIN COURSE - BEE GEES\nHONEY - OHIO PLAYERS.\nTHE SALSOUL ORCHESTRA.\nFREE RECORDS!\nFive singles given away with every\nrecord purchase between\n9 a.m.-12 a.m.\nSaturday, April 70\nSECOND CHILDHOOD -\nPHOEBE SNOW.\nDESIRE - BOB DYLAN.\nSMILE - LAURA NYRO.\nSTILL CRAZY AFTER ALL\nTHESE YEARS - PAUL\nSIMON.\nAFTERTONES  - JANIS  IAN.\nLADY BUMP - PENNY Mc-\nLEAN.\nPHILADELPHIA FREEDOM -\nMFSB.\nGET YOUR WINGS - AERO-\nSMITH.\nBREAKAWAY - ART GARFUNKEL.\nPHOENIX - LABELLE\nHOW DARE YOU! - IOCC.\nTHE     WHOLE    WORLD     IS     GOIN'\nCRAZY-APRIL WINE.\nSTAND BACK - APRIL WINE.\nWIRE FIRE-SAVOY BROWN.\nSWEENY TODD.\nKICK OFF YOUR MUDDY BOOTS -\nGRAEME EDGE BAND.\nFANDANGO - ZZ TOP.\nSEVENTH    SOJOURN     -    MOODY\nBLUES.\nFULL OF FIRE-ALGREEN.\nTHE     HOMECOMING     -     HAGOOD\nHARDY.\nThousands of Deleted LP's\nfrom  99\n10 LP's for only $6\"\"\nPLUS HUNDREDS OF IN-STORE SPECIALS!\nsound\nThe place to buy a music system\n556 SEYMOUR ST.\nPHONE 682-6144\nOPEN THURSDAY AND\nFRIDAY UNTIL 9 P.M. Thursday,  April   1,   1976\nTHE      UBYSSEY\nPage 3\nContinuing ed crumb to public\nBy MARK BUCKSHON\nThe place of continuing\neducation at UBC is paradoxical.\nIt has always been less than\nsecure, as continuing education is\nnot a simple thing to define and\nadminister, and it involves activities often in conflict with those\npeople who want to maintain an\nivory tower campus.\nBut when money runs short and\npublic pressure increases, the\nuniversity administration realizes\nit must grind out public relations\nstatements about the university\n\"reaching into the community.\"\nContinuing education is associated\ndirectly with the reachout effort,\nand would be a major beneficiary\nif the effort was real.\nSo the university went into the\ncontinuing education business in a\nbig way in the desperate '30s,\nalmost completely dropped it at\nthe height of the university boom in\nthe mid-'60s and at least started\ntalking more favorably of it in the\naustere '70s during the last days of\nthe NDP government.\nThe result of that talk and public\nrelations blitz: the university is\nexpanding its correspondence\ncourse offerings and has sent an\nofficial to live in Vernon.\nAnd a new administrative\nposition was established, director\nof continuing education, to tie the\nconflicting threads of UBC's extension programs together.\nThe director would have real\npower. He would manage the\nuniversity's Centre for Continuing\nEducation but he would also watch\nover independent continuing\neducation programs offered by the\nfaculties of commerce and\nmedicine. And with a senate seat\nand a place at the table with the\n^secretive committee of deans, the\nnew director would have direct\ncontact with the academic barons\nwho make major decisions about\nthe university's direction.\nBut the position, held for about\nSQUAWK BOX at last allows blind students to solve math, chemistry problems electronically. Calculator\nactually talks to studen.ts \u2014 provides needed help to more than 30 blind students on campus who now can-\nlighten workload by listening. Blind economics student Reed Poynter demonstrates in Crane library.\nNader nixes nuclear power\nBy MARK BUCKSHON\nConsumer advocate Ralph\nNader would rather see the burning of B.C.'s waste forest\nproducts than the construction and\nexport of Candu nuclear reactors.\nBoth are possible solutions to the\nmuch-publicized energy crisis, but\nNader told a UBC audience on\nMonday the nuclear alternative is\nabsurdly expensive and unsafe.\nHe said the basic solution to the\nenergy crisis is to use less energy\nin the first place, and a secondary\nsolution is to use the best and\ncheapest fuel available \u2014 the sun.\nBut Nader, who has switched\nfrom criticizing Corvairs as unsafe\nautomobiles to attacking\nWestinghouse for its appeals for\nmoney to construct nuclear power\nplants, said consumers face an\nuphill battle in overcoming the\nindustrial and government interests who are pressing for ex-\nNADER\ncalls for action\npansion of nuclear power\nproduction.\nSpeaking to about 500 students in\nthe SUB ballroom, Nader called for\nestablishment of a student-funded\nconsumer action group at UBC to\noppose nuclear developments here\nand in Washington State.\nNader said nuclear power is\neconomically unfeasable and much\nmore dangerous than the nuclear\nadvocates would like people to\nbelieve.\nHe said nuclear development\nstarted after the Second World War\nwith the belief nuclear power\nwould be very inexpensive.\nBut with 57 reactors in the U.S.\nnow, Nader said none of them\nwould exist without government\ntax breaks, research funds, and\ninsurance coverage.\nHecriticized \"billions of dollars\"\nof American government federal\nsubsidies towards questionable\nnuclear power plant construction\nand Canada's controversial Candu\nprogram.\nNader said the Candu reactor\ndesign has safety qualities not\napparent with American nuclear\nreactors, but said the storage and\nuse of plutonium in Canadian\nreactors is still extremely\ndangerous.\nNader said Canadian law allows\nthe federal government to keep\nsecret data about the dangers and\ncosts about nuclear development\nwhich would have to be made\npublic in the U.S.\nAnd he criticized Canada's\npolicy of selling reactors to undeveloped countries. \"It's a dream\nreactor to make nuclear weapons\n\u2014 as India found out,\" he said,\nreferring to India's use of a Candu\nreactor to make a nuclear bomb.\nsix months by Walter Hardwick\nwho left in January to become\ndeputy education minister, is now\nvacant, and UBC vice-president\nMichael Shaw indicated Wednesday the university is in no rush\nto find a replacement for the\nformer director.-\n\"He (Hardwick) is on a leave of\nabsence from his academic\nposition so there is an acting\ndirector of the Centre for Continuing Education,\" Shaw said.\n\"There is no one appointed as\nacting director of continuing\neducation.\"\nShaw was asked if that means\nhigh-level continuing education\npolicy-making is in abeyance. \"In\none sense I guess they are,\" he\nanswered.\n\"We set up a committee \u2014 it was\ngoing to advise the director of\ncontinuing education,\" he said.\nShaw said he now heads the\ncommittee, which has met once,\nbut in the telephone interview he\nsaid he can't remember the names,;\nof the committee members or even\nhow many there are. And, Shaw\nsaid, he doesn't know when the\nnext committee meeting will be.\nWith the departure of Hardwick,\nthe top man for continuing\neducation at UBC is Jindra Kulich,\nwho heads the Centre for Continuing Education.\nBut   Kulich's   place   in   the ,\nuniversity   hierarchy   is   com- ;\nparatively low. He said in a recent !\ninterview he has never met with or\nspoken to administration president\nDoug Kenny about continuing education   policies,   dealing   instead\nwith Shaw, vice-president for academic development.\nKulich is in charge of a hodgepodge department on the periphery\nof the university, distant from\nmost on-campus students except\nthrough brochures sent to their\nparent's homes.\nThe department, with about 60\nemployees and an annual budget of\naround $2 million, administers\nmatt king photof intersession evening classes,\nii.. <->-i-..i_.._- COITespondence courses, travel\nprograms, humanities, fine arts\na\u00abd professional development\nprograms, language training and'\nan assortment of other areas.\nDuring the interview Kulich said\nhe is aware of criticisms that the\ncentre specializes in courses for\nrich west-side matrons who want to\ndabble   in   culture   instead   of\nproviding adequate opportunities\n, ... for   real   credit   and   non-credit\nNader said one thing holding the   education   to  people   of   various\ngovernment   and   utilities   from   economic positions throughout the\nconstructing   new   plants   is   the   provmce\nSee page 23: USE But     Kulich     raised     other\nBut Nader's main criticism was\nagainst the American government\nand   electrical   utilities\nquestions. What kind of \"continuing education\" should the\ncentre \u2014 or for that matter, the\nentire university \u2014 provide when\nextension courses are also offered\nby schoolboards and community\ncolleges?\nAnd who should pay for the\ncontinuing education \u2014 the student\nwho benefits, or the university in\nmeeting its obligation of providing\npublic service?\nThey are difficult questions to\nanswer. Kulich, who seems to\nknow what he is talking about\n(although the main university\nadministration doesn't seem interested in listening to him) said it\nis fine to say the university should\noffer courses in consumer\neconomics to east-side Vancouver\nresidences as well as travel-\nculture tours of Europe for those\nwith the money and free time.\nBut it is another matter to get\npeople to attend.\n\"I've put on programs and I\nnever got the people,\" Kulich said,\ndescribing his work in Alberta\nbefore coming to UBC. \"I had no\ntrouble filling the recreational type\nprograms.\"\n\"But when I put on what I felt\nwas a damn good program about\nconsumer economics . . . how the\nhell do you make your salary\nstretch to cover everything? How\ndo you make sure you get the best\nbuys, how do you cope with finance\ncompanies to your best advantage . . .\n\"In a town of 2,000, two people\nturned up.\"\nAnd Kulich said the course was\noffered for a nominal $2 fee and\ngiven advance publicity.\nThe questions are serious.\nShould continuing education be\nforced on those who \"need\" it?\nAnd, for that matter, could that\nkind of continuing education, of\nreal benefit to people who have had\nlittle or no contact with the\nuniversity, better be offered by\nschool boards, in closer contact\nwith the people of the community.\nOddly enough, those arguments\nare the ammunition used by\nacademic elitists who don't really\nsupport extension education.\nOne of these was former UBC\npresident John MacDonald who in\nthe mid-'60s virtually killed the\nuniversity's extension program so\nhe could expand the university's\ngraduate school.\nA variety of efforts, including\nschemes developed from the '30s\nwhen the university, in a desperate\neffort for funds, started sending\nlecturers and holding discussions\nSee page 7. CONTINUING\nEd rulers change in year\nBy CHRIS GAINOR\nThe past academic year has\nunmistakably been a year of great\nchange, especially when it comes\nto the people who decide what sort\nof education students get.\nFrom the minister of education,\nthrough the UBC administration,\nto the lowliest student politician,\nthe people are different from a\nyear ago and the rules of the game\nare different.\nLast summer, Walter Gage\nretired as administration president\nafter a 50-year career at UBC, and\nhanded over the reins of UBC's\nadministration to Doug Kenny,\nwho has tried to shape that\nbureaucracy to his own taste.\nIn the Dec. 11 provincial election,\nDave Barrett's socialist NDP\ngovernment was removed from\noffice and Bill Bennett's Social\nCredit party was swept in on a\nwave of fear.\nThe NDP's less-than-competent\neducation minister Eileen Dailly\nwas replaced by one-time Liberal\nPat McGeer, who has had little\ntime to deal with education due to\nhis post as president of the troubled\nInsurance Corporation of B.C.\nAnd in the Alma Mater Society,\nstudent politicos were operating\nunder the first really new constitution in 50 years. What didn't\nchange is that the AMS achieved\nlittle over the past year.\nAs the Christmas exams began,\nstudents were faced with picket\nlines set up by the striking\nAssociation of University and\nCollege Employees, who walked\nout after the administration\ndragged its heels in negotiations\nand tried to take away rights won\nearlier.\nStudents ignored the picket lines,\nexcept for the few who supported\nthe strike and those who threw\nmissiles at the picketers. The\nstrike ended after seven days and a\ncontract was later signed.\nThe strike came after three\nmonths of negotiations, which were\nfurther complicated by the introduction of federal anti-inflation\nlegislation.\nThe federal program comes\ndown hard on ordinary wage\nearners but not on corporations.\nAUCE members, by signing a less-\nthan-satisfactory contract,\nbecame the first of many unions to\ncome face to face with the\nprogram.\nThe strike was the first major\ntest of the newly-revamped UBC\nadministration set up by president\nDoug Kenny.\nKenny, the former arts dean who\ntook office July 1 after a year of\nleisurely preparation, appointed\nfour vice-presidents to help him\nhandle the burgeoning administration.\nFormer agriculture dean\nMichael Shaw became veep\nresponsible for university\ndevelopment, longtime UBC\nbursar William White is responsible for UBC's finances, former\nConstruction Labor Relations\nAssociation head Chuck Connaghan oversees non-academic\naffairs (including labor relations)\nand physics department heavy\nErich Vogt is in charge of\nacademic affairs.\nBefore long heads began to roll\nas Kenny and his four veeps\nrevamped the administration.\nHousing head Leslie Rohringer,\npersonnel and labor relations head\nJohn McLean and academic\nplanning head Robert Clark quit or\nwere shunted aside.\nSeepage 17: STATUS Page 4\nTHE       UBYSSEY\nThursday,   April   1,   1976\nSee you in September . . .\nGoodbye. Au revoir. Auf\nWiedersehen.\nThis is it: the end of a\nyear that will have been\nalmost eight months, and 68\nUbysseys, long.\nThis is our last issue of\nthe year. We hope you enjoy\nit as much as we enjoyed\nputting it together.\nFor those of you who\nwant a rest from editorials\nthat criticize (God knows\nthere are a lot of you), this\none is for you. Hell \u2014 we're\nas sick of criticizing people as\nyou are of reading the\ncriticism.\nWe wish everyone good\nluck in their essays, exams\nand whatever other horrors\nthey have to live through in\nthe next three weeks.\nWe hope everybody gets a\njob this summer, vain as that\nhope may be. And for those\npeople graduating, we hope\nyou get a job doing what you\nwant to do.\nTHC WSSEY\nTHURSDAY, APRIL FOOL'S DAY, 1976\nPublished Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays throughout the\nuniversity year by the Alma Mater Society of the University of\nB.C. Editorial opinions are those of the staff and not of the AMS\nor the university administration. Member, Canadian University\nPress. The Ubyssey publishes Page Friday, a weekly commentary\nand review. The Ubyssey's editorial offices are located in room\n241K of the Student Union Building. Editorial departments,\n228-2301; Sports, 228-2305; Advertising, 228-3977.\nEditor: Gary Coull\nCHAPTER I\nThe note simply appeared one day in his basket. A shiver went down\nMarcus Gee's spine \u2014 when he saw the signature at the bottom: D. L.\nBureaucrat. The Old Man almost never communicates with the staff any\nmore. Must be big. The note was a simple phrase, \"See me, Gee. DLB.\"\nSo instead of going to lunch that day at the exclusive Hong Mung Club\nwhere he usually dined alone with two or three of his favorite disguises\n(Nancy Southam and Margrett George topped his list these days), Gee\nslipped behind the wheel of his immaculate 2CV. Picking himself up off\nthe firewall where he was stuck behind the brake pedal, he brushed himself\noff and got into the driver's seat a little more carefully this time. He started\nthe car. He put it in reverse.\"He backed out of his private parking stall\noutside the 13-storey Pitman Business School and Espionage Academy.\nAnd he drove 13 miles through driving rain and two more through rain that\nwas learning parallel parking, to the secret country manor of the Old Man.\nAh, yes, this must be the place, he thought, as he pulled into the Old\nMan's Slipper Inn Motel (rooms hourly, color TV in every room, magic\nfingers).. He parked outside the manager's office and parked. He rang the\ndoorbell.\n\"Yes?\"\n\"Hello Cummings. Gee here. The Old Man around?\"\n\"Mr. Cummings to you, douchenozzle,\" said Peter Cummings, the Old\nMan's butler and sometime lady friend. \"And wipe your fuckin' feet. You\nthink all I want to do all day is clean up after you pigs, don't you? Some\nday, when I'm the Old Man, you'll be sorry!\"\n\"I'll say,\" snarled Gee. \"Hi, DLB,\" for it was indeed DLB who had\ncome out of the back to the counter.\nThe Old Man displayed no sign of recognition. \"Ah, yes, Mr. and Mrs.\nBrown from New York, is it? Room 226.\"\n\"Oh, I get it. This is secret, eh?\"\n\"Pardon me? I don't understand.\"\n\"Never mind.\" Gee snatched the key and went to room 226, which was\nmarked, \"Back room. Authorized personnel only. Mark Buckshon will not\nbe admitted under any circumstances.\"\nHe turned the key and opened the door. A woman was fluffing a pillow\non the double bed. \"Oh, sorry,\" said Gee, and was about to leave when the\nwoman said, \"It's me' G. (for the Old Man never called anybody by their\nname, but always only by their last initial.)\"\n\"Yes, G., it's me, Sue Vohanka. I'm the Old Man.\"\nGee was stunned. He was also surprised because he thought the Old\nMan was a man. \"But what about the man behind the counter      .'\"\n\"So you've already met Ralph Maurer, eh? Also known as the D L\nBureaucrat? Yes, he's our best man and one of our best women, too He'll\nbe our only contact after this meeting. But anyway, here's what I called\nyou in for.' She thrust a bound sheaf of papers at him. It was marked Top\nSecret; First Level; Code Yellow; Eyes Only at the top, and cc: Michael\nSasges, Maureen Boyd, the Ubyssey and Mark Lepitre, the Voice of\nAmerica, at the bottom. Its title was, Random Interstices-Determined Flow\nSpectrum of a Group Dynamic Situation (subtitled: Who really has all the\npower on The Ubyssey.) Gee opened the report, brushed a pubic hair off\nthe page and started reading:\nConfidential report to: Doug Rushton, director, Central Lack of\nIntelligence Agency;\nFrom: Nancy Southam, who knows practically everything.\nOn December 11,  1975   (the  report continued), the new government\nordered   a   report   on   The   Ubyssey,   a   \"student   newspaper\"  of  definite\nCommunistic  bent.  According  to  The  Ubyssey's public relations office,\nHeather Walker The    Ubyssey    is    a    \"democratically-run    student\nnewspaper.' He said the editor was one Gary Coull, a nice, quiet\nmiddle-class kid. However, it is unlikely that this clean, nice, Liberal kid\nactually affects the tone of the newspaper, which is highly subversive\nMy recommendation to you, Mr. Rushton, is that a CLIA operative be\nassigned  to  infiltrate The Ubyssey,  find out who really has the power in\nthat alleged \"democratically-run\" paper; to isolate the troublemaker and to\nHere the memo ended.\nGee looked up. \"It's not you, is it?\"\nThe Old Man started, then hurriedly said, \"What? Oh, no no, not me\nIt's ... somebody else. That is why I called you in G., what you have to\ndo is grow your hair, wash your face, gain 60 pounds and become your\nlittle sister \u2014 well call her Caroline. As Caroline G., you will \"join\" The\nUbyssey again and root out the mole.\"\nCHAPTER II\nGee pushed open the outer door of The Ubyssey's palatial offices in the\n765-storey    Ubyssey   News    Enterprise   Tower   in    midtown    Manhattan.\n\"Personnel,   please,\"  he said  to  the receptionist, the pert and vivacious\nChris   Gainor,   the   famous   hermaphroditic sumo wrestler who  had  the\nflaming bathtub love affair with faded silver screen beauty Carl Vesterback.\n\"Personnel-ly, if I were you, I wouldn't apply for a job here,\" Gainor\ncracked,  \"if you  get  one,  they'll  keep  Ubyssey.  Get it? Keep you busy?\nThe director of personnel was Matt King. \"Now, Miss Gee, why do you\nwish to join The Ubyssey, and in what capacity?\" Have you any reporting\nexperience?\"\n\"Well, no.\"\n\"Fine, then. You're hired. Congratulations.\"\n\"Gee thanks, Mr. King. Say, I was wondering \u2014 you don't work for the\nCLIA, do you?\"\nKing's demeanor grew stern, or oats, depending upon the crop rotation.\n\"You'll want to speak to Mr. Len MacKave, our staff security officer, on\nthat.\"  He  pressed  a  button  on the intercom.  \"Ms. Woodward \u2014 Paisley,\nwould you please show this transvetite to Mr. MacKave's office?\"\n\"Get sucked, King. Does he like Bob Dylan?\"\nGee crossed the busy bio city newsroom on his way to MacKave's\ncavernous office. Ace reporters Cedric Tetzel and Rod Mickleburgh\ndiscussed in low voices a story they were working on.\n\"What do you make of this break-in at the democratic headquarters?\"\nasked Cedric from three floors below.\n\"I think we should memo it off and get busy on this feature on the\n1960s,\" said the voice of Rod Mickleburgh from the subway that rumbled\n57 floors beneath them.\nMeanwhile, Charlie Rendina, Greg Edwards, Lesley Krueger and Ross\nBarlow drummed a staccato on their Underwoods, Andrew Shearon and\nSteve Morris joined in on IBM Selectric and tympany and were offered\nsubtle counterpoint by the bassoons of Gregg Thompson, Robert Diotte\nand Ron Binns, while soloist Doug Field gave the music a rich textural\nlushness with his stunning violin playing; Heather Walker was the\nconductor of the piece, Serbian composer Tom Barnes' masterpiece\nLumberjack Song, first movement andante.\nCopy runner Cheryl Wiens came and went as the clock struck four,\nkilling one and seriously injuring three.\n\"Have you ever seen Sucha Singh,\" exclaimed photo editor Patti-Reay\nStahl,\nGee walked past a corner of the newsroom that had been blocked off\nand made to resemble a storefront office. Over the fake office was a little\nsign:  Page Tuesday, Wednesday and  Friday at  2:30 p.m.  during  months\nContinued on page 6\nHopefully (again), you've\nlearned something during the\nyear, whether it was in\nclasses, in some\nextracurricular activity, or\nfrom the people you've met\nand parties and orgies you've\nattended.\nMaybe you've even\nlearned something from this\nhere journal. If not, the staff,\nwhich has toiled thanklessly\nfor you since even before\nregistration week in\nSeptember has toiled in vain.\nThings might not always\nbe great here at UBC, but for\nmost of us things are as great\nas they'll ever be. Remember,\nthese are the good old days;\nsome day we'll look back at\nall this and laugh. These are\nfun   times   and   some   day\nyou'll realize just how much\nwe've all been getting away\nwith a lot more than we\nshould have.\nFinally, thank you for\nreading The Ubyssey this\nyear. Thank you for your\ncards, letters and advice. Eor\nthose of you who are coming\nback in the fall, see you in\nSeptember. We'll look a little\ndifferent.\nAJAX\nCQNOorA\nRETREAOER5\nLTD.\n\"Now see here, Bradshaw, we at Ajax don't play little games with PINS!!\nLetters\nRag\napplauded\nAs your publishing year draws to\na close, may I take just a moment\nof your valuable time to commend\nThe Ubyssey staff for another\nexcellent year.\nYour reporting has been superb,\nyour cartoons magnificent and\nyour editorials profound.\nAnd I have it on good authority,\nthat prospects for next year are\neven better \u2014 despite the two-\nheaded monster!\nGary Coull\narts 4\nPhotogs\nNow that it has come to the end\nof The Ubyssey's publishing year, I\nfind that I must take time to\ncommend the photographers that\nhave worked for the paper this\nyear. The degree of competency\nand innovation shown by these\ntalented people have helped to\nmake the paper a joy to read.\nCongratulations on the excellent\nwork.\nDoug Field\ncommerce 3\nNUS-BCSF\nI suspect it is a vain hope, but I\nwould like to think that the junior\npoliticians in the Alma Mater\nSociety have learned something\nabout the priorities of most UBC\nstudents, in light of the absurdly\nlow turnout for the National Union\nof Students and B.C. Student\nFederation referendums.\nWhen only seven or eight per\ncent of the student population is\nsufficiently motivated to vote in\nfavor of such a proposal, it casts\nserious doubts on the worth of the\nAMS as a serious representative of\nthese people.\nAt least 90 per cent of them could\nhave told the society that they are\nhere to get some sort of education,\nand couldn't care less if the whole\nuniversity joined the Girl Guides,\nbefore   more  student   fees   were\nwasted on such a farcical vote.\nWhen the time comes that bodies\nlike the AMS feel that students\nmust federate* and unionize, I can\nonly assume there is precious little\nto complain about, and that such\ngroups, like so many trade unions,\nhave outlived their usefulness.\nPhilip Magnall\narts 3\nRomance\nWe are two of the thousands of\nlonely women on campus. We too\nare frustrated promoters of\ncampus romance.\nSpeaking from personal experiences, you are right \u2014 artsmen\nare a pitiful sect. It's an effort for\nthem to come up to the human\nlevel. Their body temperature is a\nconstant 10 degrees Celsius. Gears\nare probably so much more\nresponsive!!!\nHeather Johnston has obviously\nmade her choice: Harold Mann.\nWrite her off as a lost cause and\nconsider us. We are second year\nscience students, fairly good-\nlooking, and eager for new social\nexperiences.\nWe are interested in conducting\nan objective biological seminar\nconcerning the lack of romance on\ncampus. We feel that we share the\nsame .. . urn, goals! This is also an\nopen invitation to any ready,\nwilling, and\/or able, six-foot, good-\nlooking, intelligent males interested in scientific research.\nSarah Thompson\nAnne Agnew\nWork\nThis letter has been written in\nresponse to Tim Grant's article in\nthe March 23 Ubyssey.\nFirstly, I question Grant's\nopening assertion that \"most of us\nare at university because we see it\nas the route to better jobs and\nhigher wages.\" He provides no\nbasis for this assertion.\nI for one do not see the university\nas a glorified vocational school.\nRather, I would contend that the\nprimary function of the university\nis to facilitate learning.\nIf that learning has a later pay\noff in terms of \"better\" jobs and\nhigher wages, that's fine.\nHowever, that is not what it is\nprimarily for (at least not what it\nshould be for).\nSecondly, I strongly oppose the\nconnection which Grant draws\nbetween the wages for housework\nmovement and the wages for\nstudents movement.\nThere is a very basic difference\nbetween housework and studies\ndespite the fact that both go unpaid\nin any direct sense.\nHousework, of course, is usually\ndone by women primarily as a\nservice to their husbands and\nchildren. Because it is a service\nperformed for others, there is a\nlegitimate basis to the claim for\nremuneration.\nIn contrast, schoolwork is done\nas a service to oneself. Only in a\nvery indirect sense can most of\nwhat goes on at universities be\nconsidered as a service to society\nor to future employers.\nThere are few academic\ndisciplines which actually impart\nknowledge or skills which will be\nput to use in an occupational\ncontext. Most of the disciplines\nwhich do perform this function are\nthe professional ones such as\nmedicine, dentistry, law, and\nengineering.\nWhen one considers that the cost\nto society of educating one doctor\nis roughly $250,000, it hardly seems\nreasonable to expect the public to\nincrease this cost by paying\nmedical students, particularly in\nlight of the high salaries which\nthey will receive when they enter\npractice.\nIf the claims of these students to\nwages are legitimate, then it\nfollows that the salaries they\nreceive after graduation are\nillegitimate. You can't have it both\nways.\nGrant states that \"more fundamentally, it (schoolwork) is\nwork because as students, we are\nactively engaged in producing a\nvery important product \u2014 ourselves \u2014 as a specifically trained\nsegment of the future labor force.\"\nThis is total garbage. How are the\nmajority of university graduates\n(those, such as myself and Mr.\nGrant, who earn BAs and B.Sc.s)\nSee page 8: WORK Thursday, April   I,   iy\/o\nI       II     b\nGulag review disappointing\nThe following is a point, counterpoint concerning a review in\nlast week's Page Friday of\nAlexandr Solzhenitsyn's Gulag\nArchipelago Two by the\nprovocative Ron Binns. The Binns\nthesis is first attacked by a\nmember of the Young Socialists\nand then the reviewer offers his\nreply.\t\nWe would have appreciated a\nserious review of Alexandr\nSolzhenitsyn's Gulag Archipelago\nTwo in the pages of The Ubyssey.\nInstead, Ron Binns provides such\nconcoctions as the following to\nprove the Immortality (sic) of\nLenin:\n\"Lenin corrupted Marxist texts\nin such a way that the language of\nfreedom now provides the\ngrotesque camouflage for one of\nthe most vicious regimes in the\nworld.\n\"Solzhenitsyn quotes from\nPravda: 'Heightening our\nrevolutionary vigilance we will\nhelp our glorious intelligence\nservice, headed by the true\nLeninist, the Stalinist People's\nCommissar Kikolai Ivanovich:\nYezhov, to purge our higher\neducational institutions as well as\nour country of remnants of the\nTrotskyite-Bukharinite and other\ncounterrevolutionary trash.' \"\nAnd so the suggestion that Lenin\nwrote those words in Pravda.\nThose words could not have appeared until 1936 when Yezhov\nbecame the head of the secret\npolice 12 years after. Lenin died.\nThe \"distance between language\nand reality\" is just as great in this\nreview. The reviewer is fond of\nthrowing around the term 'fascist,'\nregardless of meaning.\n. He tells us that the Soviet state\ncontained fascist elements at birth.\nWhat can one hope to learn by\nstirring the Russian revolution and\nNazi Germany into an amalgam\nwithout even a word of explanation?\nReviewer Binns replies\nYour triumphant detective work\nis wasted on me, Margaret Manwaring, since I wasn't implying\nLenin wrote those words in\nPravda.\nJuxtaposing those two\nparagraphs in isolation may create\nthat effect, but the context had a\nquite different meaning, to do with\nthe use of crypto-Marxist cliches,\nabout which you obviously know a\ngreat deal.\nYour response to my Watergate\nallusion is equally misleading\nsince I wasn't arguing that the\nWest is morally superior (actually\nI have heard of Vietnam and Chile,\nin fact I mentioned the latter in the\nlast paragraph of my review) but\nmerely that Richard Nixon's\nmegalomaniac fantasies for\ndealing with his \"enemies\" (intellectuals, newspaper reporters,\nand so on) were a way of life for the\nmediocre dictators who rule the\ntotalitarian regimes of Eastern\nEurope.\nI have no apologies for\ndescribing the USSR as a fascist\nstate almost from birth. Obviously\nyour knowledge of ideology is as\nscanty as your awareness of the\nhistory of Lenin's seizure of power.\nTrotsky himself described the\nSoviet regime as \"symmetrical to\nfascism.\"\nHis moral indignation would\nhave been more convincing\nhowever had it functioned while he\nwas in power, rather than when he\nwas expelled by Stalin.\nLenin's pathological delight in\nthe use of terror, which killed\naround two million people, is a\nmatter of substantial documentary\nrecord (see B. W. Eissenstat,\nLenin and Leninism, Chapter 17).\nBertrand Russell met Lenin in\n1920 and afterward described him\nas \"a narrow-minded fanatic and\ncheap cynic. I had much less\nimpression of a great man than I\nhad expected. My most vivid\nimpressions were of bigotry and\nMongolian cruelty. His guffaw at\nthe thought of those massacred\nmade my blood run cold.\"\nLenin was not simply defending\nthe revolution, as you claim, but\nalso murdering his socialist opponents. His use of terror also\nseems to have involved a\nsublimation of his own private\nneuroses: why else did he write out\nthe order \"shoot all the hordes of\nprostitutes?\" A rather drastic\nmorality for someone whom you\nclaim was a fighter for democratic\nfreedom!\nIn fact Lenin never had the\nslightest interest in democracy.\nRosa Luxemberg's prophetic\nanalysis of the totalitarian nature\nof his political philosophy,\nLeninism or Marxism, still rings\ntrue today.\nAs for the glorious Soviet\neconomy: you have a bizarre\nnotion of what constitutes a\nsocialist economy. The USSR\nbleeds its satellite states dry, has\nrampant bureaucratic inefficiency\nand corruption, a thriving black\nmarket, a miserable standard of\nliving, and a massive expenditure\non armaments. For every citizen\nthe USSR has the equivalent of 40\ntons of .TNT in its nuclear armory.\nYou have obviously not read\nGulag Archipelago Two, since\nSolzenytsin does in fact use \"the\nMarxist tools of analysis.\" Chapter\n19 is devoted to a pioneering, if\nslightly sardonic Marxist analysis\nof the Soviet Union's political\nprisoners as a new class. Surely a\nworthwhile contribution to the\nongoing Marxist debate.\nI'll read the book you mention. I\nsuggest you in turn make the effort\nto read Gulag Archipelago Two,\nand Gunter Grass's short essay,\nCzechoslovakia 1968.\n\"Human history fares like\npaleontology. Even the best minds\nabsolutely fail to see \u2014 on principle, owing to a certain judicial\nblindness \u2014 things which lie in\nfront of their noses.\" (Karl\nMarx).\u2014Binns.\nAFGHAN\nII    HOUSE\nThe review is disappointing\nbecause Solzhenitsyn deserves\nbetter than acclaim from a\nprankster.\nSolzhenitsyn rejects the Marxist\ntools of analysis which are\nnecessary to a correct appreciation of the nature of the\nSoviet state and to the struggle for\npolitical freedom.\nHe fails to make the necessary\ndistinction between the Soviet\nUnion and the western world. He\nfails to begin by defending the\nhistoric gain represented by the\nsocialized economy of the USSR.\nSolzhenitsyn misses the mark in\ndealing with the period of the civil\nwar. He makes no distinction\nbetween a policy followed in\nwartime and one followed in peace\ntime.\nRepressive, measures were\napproved by Lenin and Trotsky, to\nbe sure, when Russia was invaded\nby foreign armies on seven different fronts. Does a revolution not\nhave the right to defend itself?\nSolzhenitsyn sees Bolshevik\n'fanaticism' as the original sin of\nthe Stalinist system that was to\ndestroy the majority of Bolsheviks\nwho led the revolution.\nThis is a worthy question. There\ncan be no explanation of why the\nCommunist Party of the USSR\nwould devour its members in\nbloody purges except that the\nparty underwent a process Trotsky\ndescribed as degeneration.\nMarxists don't trust such notions\nas the original sin of fanaticism to\nexplain the degeneration. Rather,\nMarxists look into the social base\nof a party in order to understand it.\nThe social base of Stalin's policy\nwas the bureaucracy that had to\nsuppress the revolutionary\nworkers who were the social base\nof the Bolshevik party of Lenin and\nTrotsky.\nAn authentic Marxist policy\ntoday demands defence of the\npolitical prisoners in the Soviet\nUnion. Marxists do so independently of the hypocrtical\nposition of western politicians\nwhose only real grievance with the\nUSSR is that Exxon and General\nMotors can't control its economy.\nBinns seems to believe that the\nWest has some sort of moral\nsuperiority over the USSR because\nWatergate can be found out and\nestablished as a crime.\nHow can anyone who was aware\nof the Vietnam war and the coup in\nChile feel secure about the moral\nsuperiority of the West?\nMargaret Manwaring\nUBC Young Socialists\nI-M2!)\n1 \/-.':\",.. \u25a0\u201e       (V\nTHE ARTISTRY IN FASHIONS\nFROM AFGHANISTAN\nOver 150 styles\nHand Embroidered\n100% Cotton Products - Pre-shrunk -\nShirts - Harem Pants - Patched Skirts\nNomadic Costumes\n11:00 - 7:00 daily, Friday til 9:00\n953 DENMAN ST.\nWHITE TOWER PIZZA & SPAGHETTI HOUSE LTD.\nSteaks - Pizza - Spaghetti - Lasagna - Ravioli - Rigatoni - Chicken\nLobster - Ribs\nKITS - DUNBAR - PT. GREY\nOPEN\nMon. - Thurs.\n4:00 p.m. - 3:00 a.m.\nFri. - Sat.\n4:00 p.m. - 4:00 a.m.\nSun.\n4:00 p.m. - 1:00 a.m.\n738-9520\nor 738-1113\n3618 W. Broadway\nW. VANCOUVER\n1552 Marine Drive\n926-8521\n\">mi, \u2022 w.%!t V, '\n%$$:- \"v-y ^m->%\u25a0>: x\nRevlon, Yardley, Max Factor, Love.\nDuBarry. L'Oreal.\nYou name it!\nThe look you're after is at the Cosmetic\nDepartment of your Shoppers Drug Mart\nstore. A complete beauty boutique for\nyou to explore.\nDRUG MART\nCanada's Drugstore\nShoppers Drug Mart is a registered trademark of Page 6\nTHE       UBYSSEY\nThursday,  April   1,   1976\nFrom page 4\nwith the letter R, 256, Ted Collins\nBoulevard, Chicago, Idaho.\nAfter stopping for lunch at Mike\nand Marise's diner at 1789 News Desk\nBoulevard (these big-city newsrooms\nreally are big) Gee continued oo to\nMacKave's office, reaching it as the big\nred ball of molten fire sank below the\nWestern horizon.\n\"I'm here to see Mr. MacKave,\" he\ntold receptionist Nick Smirnow, who\nsat on a granola chair behind his\nwaterdesk chewing on the receiver of\nhis soysprout telephone.\n\"I'm sorry, but Mr. MacKave left at\nfive. Is there anyone else who could\nhelp you, sir?\"\n\"Well, yes, my name is Caroline\nGee, and I'm a new reporter. I'm\nsupposed to infiltrate this newspaper\nand find out who's the CLIA spy\namong you. It's not you, is it?\" he\nasked, narrowly eyeing Smirnow \u2014 not\na tough feat with anyone with a name\nlike Gee.\n\"Oh, you'd want to see Mr.  Morton,\nIt was Tuesday by the time he got\nto Mr. Morton's office. \"Is Mr. Norton\nin, please?\"\n\"Which Mr. Morton did you want,\nIan or David?\" shot back snappy sec\nMaureen Boyd. \"David Morton is in\ncharge of staff discipline while Ian\nMorton is in charge of making sure\nDavid doesn't confuse himself with\nIan.\"\n\"Mr. David Morton, then, please.\"\n \"Oh. You'll want Ian Morton, then.\nDavid Morton called him into his\noffice after only a minute. \"Mr. Gee,\npleased to meet you. I'm Ian Morton.\nA little matter about you has come to\nour attention. I have on my desk a\npetition signed by Jackie Landry, Bill\nTieleman, Phil Smith, Micheline\nTaylor, Susan Alexander, Ward Webber\nand Al Peterson complaining about\nyou.\n\"The situation is like this. As\neveryone in the orifice knows by now,\nyou're supposed to find out who\namong us is the CLIA agent. But so far\nyou've been wasting your time waiting\nfor people and looking for offices.\n\"What we need, Gee, is a person\nwith drive, determination, guts, and\nmost important of all, brains. I'm sorry\nto have to tell you this, but I'm taking\nyour role away. From now on in this\nmasthead Merrilee Robson is going to\nbe the counterspy.\"\nWhere was Merrilee at this very\nmoment? Disguised as a porno writer\nfor the editorial page, telling dirty\njokes to the blushing ears of youthful\nand innocent Doug Todd, Woody, Jean\nRandall, Aubrey Holmes, John\nSprague, Fred McMahon, Greg Strong,\nauthor of Brown Like Me, Corbet\nLocke,   Ryon Guedes and  Ron  Binns.\nSuddenly, an urgent messenger,\nBoyd McConnell, burst in upon her\nwith an urgent message. She ripped\nopen the note, which told her what the\nreader's just been told: that she'd won\nthe role of Caroline Gee.\n\"All right, you perverts, F.O.' I got\nwork to do.\"\nNow let's see, she thought. I have\nto use logic. I can tell by the way this\nmasthead is being written that the spy\nis gonna be the last names mentioned\nhere. So it can't be anybody already\nmentioned. And it can't be Larry Hill,\nLambert Loh, Denise Chong, publisher\nJake van der Kamp, Deryl Mogg, Avfar\nBains, Bob Rayfieid, Ken Dodd or\nArnie Banham, because they ain't the\nlast names mentioned. Dave Wilkinson?\nNah. We already know his background:\nhe's from the RCMP, not the CLIA.\n\"Suddenly musical twins Brian\nGibbard and Bruce Baugh, better\nknown as the folksinging duo of Bruce\n'n' Barney, whirled into the room\nsinging Tomorrow Belongs to Me. They\nwere followed by Anne Wallace,\nProgressive Conservative member for\nFairview-Esplanade who was becoming\nprogressively more conservative every\nyear.\n\"Have you found the spy yet,\nMerrilee?   I  know who  it is,\" she said.\nFred Vyse, at the time, was playing\nminor league broomball on a team that\nincluded the Dutch line, Herman\nBakvis, Gordon Vander Sar and\nShelagh    MacDonald,\nHe told Robson in a phone call that\nhe couldn't help her, but offered to\ntrade goaltender Stan Hyde and\ndefenceman Richard Yates to the\nAustin Brewins, The Ubyssey's farm\nteam, for Bob Tsai, Dennis Beale and\nThe Ubyssey's first-round draft choice\nin the 1984 amateur draft. Merrilee\ndemurred.\nBut she picked up enough clues in\nher conversation to be able to narrow\ndown the list of suspects to John\nMorris, Susan Borys, Bob Diotte, Rita\nKinzer and John Ince.\n\"Hmm, it's Borys, then Diotte\nwould . . . no. But if Kinzer . . . but\nthen again, if it's none of them, it's, it's\n\u2014 that's it! I have it! Cummings,\" she\nshouted to the ubiquitous butler, \"tell\neverybody to gather together in the\nstudy. I'll meet them there in 20\nminutes to uncover the fiend and end\nthis horrible masthead that's gone on\nmuch too long and is giving Weldon\nHickey   burst  hemhorrhoids,  I'll bet.\"\n\"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and\n\u25a0^irls,\" she told the assembled\nmultitude. \"The spy is someone in our\nmidst, Someone whose name hasn't\nbeen mentioned in the masthead yet.\nThat person's name is \u2014\"\nBut just as she was about to\npronounce the fatal syllables she was\nrun over by a truck, and we'll never\nknow who the dastardly criminal is. He\niurks in our midst yet   . . .\nWho was driving that truck?\nRight on\nCampus\nDirectly Behind Bank\nof\nCommerce\n224-7514\n2154 Western Parkway\n(in Village)\nGRADUATES?\nThinking of Teacher Training 76\/77?\nTry SCIP: The School Campus\nInteraction Programme (Elem.)\nMore school experience\nWork with your profs, in school.\nLimited number of places\nCall in at the Elem. Div. Office in\nThe Scarfe Bldg. (5th floor) and ask\nfor the SCIP brochure.\nFACULTY OF SCIENCE\nUNDERGRADUATE\nSTUDENTS\nPlease consult your Departmental Advisor\n(Department Office) or Faculty Advisor (Hut\n0-11) before leaving the campus in April for\ncounselling regarding your 1976\/77 academic\nprogram.\nOFFICE OF THE DEAIM\n.Announcing\nIhe end\nof Ihe naked car.\nF-10 2-door Sedan\nF-10 Sports Hatchback\njjjp\u00a3% ,\u00ab4*   \"\u2666'    3l^.WWW\\W\n\u25a0'\u25a0\u25a0\u2022mm*\u2014y^)<n\u00bb.!fl!5B5SiH^iw'^-W'\u2122a!*iP*<w-,j .\n:::\" mj,^^m0^^^m^<^, .*\u00abip\n\u25a0^py\u00bby \u25a0.-\u25a0*\u25a0\u25a0\u25a0\u25a0\u25a0\u2022            ,.\u25a0\u25a0\u25a0:\u25a0\u25a0 -r^-yy\"                            :'--y[-.f\n'^f|H\nF-\n10 Station Wagon\n^\"\u25a01\n|T\nThe new\nfronl-wheel drive\nDatsun F-10\nWho says a low-priced car has to be\nstripped of all the nice touches?\nNot Datsun.\nOur new front-wheel drive Datsun F-10\nis fully-equipped from bumper to bumper.\nEven our lowest-priced 2-door Sedan is\nloaded with: rear window defogger, tinted\nglass, radial tires, carpeting, chrome\nwindow trim, bumper over-riders, wheel\ncovers, rustproof fender liners, heavy\nduty battery, console and package tray,\nflow-through heating and ventilation.\nAll that comes to about $500 worth of\nwhat other cars call extras. Datsun calls\nit extra value.\nThe F-10 Sports Hatchback gives you\neven more special features, like an\nAM\/FM radio, tachometer, nifty 5-speed\nshift and competition steering wheel.\nAnd you don't pay a penny more.\nThere's a value-packed F-10 Wagon\ntoo, with white-walls and fifty cubic feet\nof luggage space.\nNow look at the F-10's super performance features: the better traction and\nsafer handling of front-wheel drive and a\nrally-proven 1.4 litre engine that delivers\nup to 40 miles per gallon in combined\ncity\/highway driving*\nFights Corrosion Better\nThe F-10 is protected with special\nZincrometal rust-proofing on critical\nareas, for worry-free winter driving.\nAnother plus from Datsun.\nThe new fully-equipped Datsun F-10 is\ntoday's best car buy for the smart\ncar-buyer. Test-drive one at your Datsun\ndealer's and see for yourself.\n\u2022According to 1976 E.P.A. tests. Your mileage may vary depending\non the kind of driving you do.\nDATSUN The best-selling import\n^nw    in North America.\nLook for the new Datsun F-10 on April 8th at these Datsun Dealers:\nVANCOUVER\nBroadway Datsun Ltd.\n60 West Broadway\nPhone: 872-7151\nHugh Rider Ltd.\n3485 West Broadway\nPhone: 736-0481\nBrasso Datsun Ltd.\n418 W. Georgia St.\nPhone: 684-0351\nSouthside Datsun Ltd.\n290 S.W. Marine Drive\nPhone: 323-4644\n& 3243636\nBURNABY\nWhite Spot Datsun Ltd.\n4451 Lougheed Highway\nPhone: 291-7261\nNORTH SHORE\nBrasso Datsun (North Shore) Ltd.\n1305 Marine Drive\nNorth Vancouver\nPhone: 988-7172\nNEW WESTMINSTER\nNew Westminster Datsun Ltd.\n1116 -6th Avenue\nPhone: 524-4904\nCHILLIWACK\nChilliwack Datsun (1972J Ltd.\n45839 Yale Road West\nPhone: 792-4631\nABBOTSFORD\nAbbotsford Datsun Inc.\n33360 Cornwall Avenue\nPhone: 853-2319\nRICHMOND\nSinclair Datsun Sales Ltd.\n4S4 No. 3 Rd.\nPhone: 273-1661\nMAPLE RIDGE\nFraipont Datsun\n22768 Dewdney Trunk Rd.\nPhone: 942-7415\nSURREY\nSurrey Datsun Ltd.\n13307 King George Hwy.\nPhone: 588-5444\nLANGLEY\nValley Datsun Ltd.\n20188 Fraser Highway\nPhone: 534-7957 inursaay,  April   i,   iy\/o\nn c        u d  i   o o c\nruyc   -j-\nUrban problems already defined\nHabitat to provide solutions\nBy NANCY SOUTHAM\nSo . . . this huge United Nations\nconference is beginning in Vancouver May 31, and you wonder\nwhat all the fuss is about.\nWhy did they choose Vancouver?\nAnd why have a conference on\nhuman settlements? What is in it\nfor me, you ask?\nTo begin with, 8,000-plus people\nare not invading our city for 10\ndays for nothing. There are\nhousing problems all over the\nworld today, and representatives\nfrom 140 nations are coming here\nto discuss solutions and priorities\nof that global need.\nAnd the conference is going to be\nbig.\nVancouver was chosen as the site\nto hold the UN conference on\nhuman settlements, otherwise\nknown as Habitat, because it is one\nof the few Canadian cities with\nfacilities to hold a conference of\nthis size \u2014 which requires hotel\nbookings several years in advance.\nSo far, some 8,000 rooms in\ndowntown hotels have been booked\nfor accommodation for official UN\ndelegates.\nAlso, some 2,800 rooms at UBC\nhave been reserved for participants to the alternate conference, Habitat Forum.\nWhat is the official conference\nabout? Enrique Penalosa, the UN\nsecretary-general\nknows all about it.\nof   Habitat,\n\"It's about human settlements.\nIt's about population explosion,\nurbanization, industrialization,\nfood shortages, unemployment and\nfuel shortages.\n\"It's about high mortgage rates,\ninflation, strikes, and^oil cartels.\nIt's about progress, profits, and\npollution.\n\"It's about nothing less than the\ntotality of the human community\n\u2014 whether city, town, or village. It\nincludes the social, material,\norganizational, spiritual and\ncultural elements that sustain it.\"\nPenalosa, a former minister of\nagriculture in Colombia, was\nchosen as secretary-general with a\npreparatory committee of 56 UN\nmember nations to advise him.\nIncreasingly, people are living in\nurban communities. In the cities,\njob opportunities, health and\neducation facilities are more\nabundant than in rural areas.\nBut along with the benefits,\nslums, noise, pollution, crime and\nsquatters also develop \u2014 not to\nmention rush hour traffic, parking\nlot murders, hostage-taking in\noffice buildings, car accidents,\nugly office towers, and the contrast\nbetween Shaughnessy and the east\nend of Vancouver.\nHabitat aims to encourage a\ngreater awareness of settlement\nproblems, issues and solutions in\ncities as well as towns and smaller\ncommunities.\nBut Habitat will differ from\ntraditional conferences in that it\nwill focus on solutions.\nEach of the 140 countries have\nbeen asked to submit, in audiovisual form, presentations\ndetailing the solution to some\nproblem in the context of human\nsettlements.\nIt's not as if thousands of people\nare coming together to define the'\nWe need solutions.\nAlthough Habitat is an official\nUN conference, the general public\nwill be able to participate indirectly.\nConference proceedings will be\nbroadcast on cable television to\nmuch of the Lower Mainland, all\nday long. The public will also be\nable to view the full-length audiovisual presentations, at the Queen\nElizabeth Playhouse.\nAnd Habitat Forum, to be held at\nJericho, will be the nucleus for\npublic participation.\nConference facilities will be\nbased in the downtown area. The\nQueen Elizabeth Theatre will be\nthe focal point for delegate participation. It will seat 150\ndelegations of four members each,\nand will allow 2,000 observers,\nreporters and the public.\nMore than 1,000 journalists,\nbroadcasters, and film-makers\nwill be here to record the\nproceedings.\nThe estimated direct cost of the\nHabitat conference to the federal\ngovernment is $14 million. Of the\n$14 million approximately $8.5\nmillion, or 60 per cent of the total,\nwill be spent in Vancouver.\nUndoubtedly, there will be a\ngreat deal happening during the\nHabitat conference.\nBut the conference is only the\nfirst step of the way to solving\nhousing problems.\nThe real test will come when the\nconference is over.\nAsk not what Habitat\u2014\nproblems -\nproblems.\nwe are aware of the\nContinuing ed still separate\nFrom page 3\naround the province, were killed as\nthe extension program was forced\nto  operate   on   a   virtually   un-\nsubsidized basis.\nStudents in all but correspondence and credit courses were\nexpected to bear virtually the full\ncost of their education. And there\nwere almost no off-campus credit\ncourses.\nThe lecture tours and\ndiscussion groups in the interior of\nthe province, providing at least a\ntaste of the university to people\nwhose geographical and economic\nposition prevented them from\ncoming to university, couldn't be\nmaintained.\nThings improved in the early '70s\nwhen the centre was established to\nreplace the less-independent extension department. Kulich said\nthe centre can do things other\nacademic departments can't,\nbecause its course offerings can be\nscheduled on short notice and in\ngeneral don't have to be approved\nby the senate and general\nuniversity administration.\nBut it took the NDP government\n\u2014 angry about alleged self-centred\nattitudes of the universities \u2014 to\nforce any attempts at major\nchanges.\n\u00ab<>      .ft i   , i\nWith government money, often\nfrom special grants, the centre was\nable to move into programs for\nwomen and old persons which had\nqualities of being designed to help\neconomically and socially\ndeprived groups.\nAnd the government forced the\nuniversity to re-examine its\ninadequate part-time and\ncorrespondence course systems\nand take steps to re-establish\ncontact with the interior of the\nprovince. Progress was being\nmade, with the government\nholding its money bags as a carrot\nstick.\nThere was progress in\ndeveloping university-level continuing education \u2014 a type not\navailable from local school boards\nand community colleges \u2014 and\nmaking it at least partly accessible\nto the community.\nBut what is happening now?\nHardwick said Monday that\nbefore he left he was looking at\nways to deal with part-time degree\nstudies, develop programs outside\nthe Lower Mainland, work for\nsome kind of coordinating continuing education planning with\ncommunity colleges and school\nboards and re-evaluate involvement of the centre in reading\nand language skills programs.\nIn addition, Hardwick was fin-\nding ways to fit together the independent professional programs\nof the medicine and commerce\nfaculties.\nSome of his activities \u2014 those\nhandled by the centre alone \u2014 still\ncan go ahead, and Kulich said work\nis progressing on degree and non-\ndegree educational television and\nmonthly meetings still occur\nbetween officials involved in school\nboard, college and university\ncontinuing   education   programs.\nBut the most serious gap \u2014 the\nseparation of \"continuing\neducation\" from the central\nacademic activities of the\nuniversity \u2014 remains with the\ncontinuing vacancy of Hardwick's\nformer post.\nIt appears the university, freed\nof a fear of the NDP government\nand with UBC prof Pat McGeer as\neducation minister and Hardwick\nas deputy, is willing to again\nrelegate continuing education to a\nlower priority.\nAnd the paradox and insecurity\nof continuing education remains,\ndespite the recitation again and\nagain of the words: \"The\nuniversity must go out into the\ncommunity.\"\nBy NANCY SOUTHAM\nUBC will still play a part in the\nHabitat conference on human\nsettlements, despite the fact that\nthe university was dropped as the\nsite for Habitat.\nAdministration president Doug\nKenny set up a six-member\ncommittee last December to\nestablish how the university will\ncontribute to the United Nations\nconference.\nPeter Oberlander, professor of\ncommerce and regional planning,\nis head of the committee.\n\"The committee was set up to'\nfind a relevant contribution by the\nuniversity, to the conference, in\nrelation to the subject matter that\nwill be discussed,\" Oberlander\nsaid in a recent interview.\n\"We wanted to figure out not\nonly what the conference could do\nfor UBC, but also what UBC could\ndo for Habitat \u2014 an optimum\nrelationship.\"\nSo, in the interest of public\nawareness, the federal government gave UBC $20,000 to set up a\nlecture series on campus, run by\nOberlander.\nOberlander was, for a while, part\nof the big Liberal machine, in Ottawa. From 1970 until 1973 he was\nsecretary of the ministry of state\nfor urban affairs. Consequently, he\nhas a few connections back in\nOttawa.\nThere are nine lectures in the\nseries,   covering   topics   from\nCanadian Arctic settlements to\nChina's human settlement policies.\nLecturers include Lady Barbara\nWard Jackson, Lord Richard\nLlewellyn-Davies from the\nuniversity of London, and\nprofessor Joan Robinson from\nCambridge university.\nThe purpose of the lectures is to\ncreate public awareness on the\ntopic of human settlements as they\nexist today, Oberlander said.\n\"We are aiming for substantive,\nnot strategic discussions via the\nlecture series,\" he said. \"The\npolitical issues have obscured the\nreally crucial, original- purpose\nand objective of the conference.\n\"What we need to do is refocus\non these crucial objectives, not the\ncritical issues such as the presence\nof the Palestinian Liberation\nOrganization.\"\nAll the lectures will be\nvideotaped. And there are plans to\npublish a book on the contents of\nthe talks.\n\"These will be used in classes at\na teaching device,\" Oberlander\nsaid. \"That way we won't be\ncasting their words to the wind.\"\n\"This is a highly creative opportunity for UBC,\" he said. \"I\nwouldn't bother if this was just a\npreparatory function for the 10-day\nconference \u2014 but this is just the\nbeginning, not the end.\n\"It's what happens during and\nafter the conference that is important.\"\n0\u00bb\ni-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-l- l-M-M. M-M-f- M-T-M. f.'F.M.l-T.T.M.M.M.T.rTTT\nLibrary hours cut\nCampus libraries will be open during May and June for those students\ntaking intersession courses.\nThe Hours below are only tentative. Budget restrictions may result in\ntheir shortening.\nMain and Woodward libraries will be open Monday, Thursday, and\nFriday 9a.m. to 5p.m. and Tuesday and Wednesday 9a.m. to 10 p.m.\nSedgewick library will be open on Monday and Tuesday from 9 a.m. to\n11 p.m. On Wednesday, Thursday and Friday the hours will be 9 a.m. to 5\np.m. ~     -\nThe curriculum library will also be open in May and June. Monday,\nThursday and Friday it will be open 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. and on Tuesday and\nWednesday from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m.\nAll libraries will be closed Saturday and Sunday.\nBrock Hall study areas will be open Monday to Frjday from 8 a.m. to\nmidnight.\niJ*\u00ab<>^  <\\>\u00bb\u00bb'\\V\nStep into Spring\nwith Fashions\nfrom\nCLARK'S PLACE\nFOR HER\nSummer dresses,\nskirts, all wool dress\npants, fashion jeans,\nsilk blouses, T-shirts,\ntank tops, imported\nleathers.\nFOR HIM\nYoung men's suits,\nEuropean flair all\nwool dress pants,\nfashion jeans, shirts,\nT-shirts. Original styl-\ning, imported\nleathers.\nCLRRK'5\n776 GRANVILLE      and      PACIFIC CENTRE Page 8\nTHE      UBYSSEY\nThursday,   April   1,   1976\nLetters\nFrom page 4\nto be considered as a specifically\ntrained segment of the future labor\nforce?   Specifically    trained   for\nwhat?\nGrant goes on to say that it is our\nfuture employers who gain from\nour skills and self-discipline.\nPrecious few employers need\npeople who are skilled at reading\nbooks and writing essays.\nAs for our self-discipline, I\nwonder how much self-discipline\nGrant really thinks we have-. If\nstudents are characterized by self-\ndiscipline, why then should they\ndread available jobs \"such as\nteaching (which) have become\nmuch harder work?\"\nAcquisition of self-discipline\nshould prepare students to undertake hard work rather than to\navoid it.\nFurthermore, as Grant states\nlater on in his article, there is a\nstruggle against schoolwork\nbecause it is \"too much of a hassle\nand too much work.\" Is this a\nmanifestation   of   self-discipline?\nThe university ought not to be\nconsidered as the route to better\njobs and better wages, because it\ndoes not generally perform the\nfunction of providing students with\nmarketable skills.\nIt does ' provide us with\nknowledge which is, for me, a\npositive personal acquisition in and\nof itself. The benefits of higher\neducation accrue primarily to the\nstudent and not to society.\nThe onus to pay for education is\nnot, therefore, upon society but\nupon the student. It is an act of\ngenerosity on the part of society\nthat it is willing to afford us the\nopportunity to benefit from the\nacquisition of knowledge.\nGrant seems to feel that it is the\nobligation of society to pay us now\nso that in the future we can get\nbetter jobs and better pay than the\nbulk of the people who paid for our \u2022\neducation in the first place.\nCertainly, students should not\nhave to starve while attending\nuniversity. However, to expect\nsociety to pay us to acquire the\nmeans to exploit them later\n(through high professional fees\nand high salaries) is even more\nunconscionable.\nIf the bulk of the students at\nuniversity were Suddenly spirited\naway, the only effect for society as\na whole would be that it would have\nconsiderably more money with\nwhich \"to enjoy family and friends\n\u2014 in a word to do whatever (they)\ndecide (they) want to do.\"\nWhy should we enjoy these\nthings at their expense?\nTo say that we are indebted to\nsociety is not to say, however, that\nwe are parasites. Rather, it means\nsimply that we are obliged to\nprovide the same opportunities for\nthose who come after us.\nIf we do indeed get better jobs\nand better pay, then we will repay\nthe debt at a higher rate (through\nhigher taxes). This is only right.\nThe crucial thing is that we, look\nupon education from the point of\nview of those who pay for it.\nViewed from their perspective, we\nare undeniably in a privileged\nposition. Paying us to study would\nput us in an even more privileged\nposition. This, certainly, is not\nright.\nFrom my point of view, Grant's\nthesis is predicated upon a faulty\nperception of the functions of the\nuniversity. Rather than calling for\nchange in the structure of\neducational financing, he ought to\nchange   the   structure   of   his\nthought.\nKent Hanson\nsociology 4\nHelp me\nYoung, good-looking, athletic,\nwell-hung, bi t.a., 29, seeks male\ncontact. Must be BIG. Send snaps\nto Ubyssey box 347. No nellies or\nbutches, please.\nThe Ubyssey adult classifieds\ncan work for you, too.\nThank you.\nName withheld by request\ndepartment of static physics\nL^apri f^i\nupn i~ izza\nand\nFree\nCampus Delivery\nI PHONE j\n224-1720\nI 224-6336 |\n4450 W. 10th AVE.\nS^teah ^rrt\noude\nFully Licensed\nPizza in 29 Styles\nChoice of 3 Sizes\nSpecial Italian Dishes\nSTEAKS - SEA FOODS\nHours: Monday to Thursday 11 a.m. to 2 a.m.\nFriday & Saturday 11 a.m. to 3 a.m. - Sunday 4 p.m. to 1 a.m.\nThinking of Teaching?\nARE YOU \u2014 graduating?\n(Bachelor's, Master's, or Doctorate)\n\u2014 finishing second year?\n\u2014 considering teaching as a career?\nIf you answer 66yes\" to AiVY of these questions\nthen come to an informational meeting\nTHURSDAY, APR.l  1:00 SCARFE 100\nThe Directors of U.B.C.'s Elementary and Secondary teacher education\nprograms will be present to answer your questions on:\n\u2014 job opportunities\n\u2014 alternative teacher education programs\n\u2014 entrance requirements\nTOO   Duf*\u00bb6   TO\nTc? Rdl-D th\u00a3T\nGOON \\Hseftr\nTHOUGHT SO \u2022\nWATCH  THIS:\n...fold it like so...\n^along ihe dotted line}\n.CUTALL-TWE\nBOTTOM FOLDS-\nTAKer this\n*\u25a0 BSther- \u25a0ttwrv cufrVna,\nyou CAr\\  Rip +he-\nFtolds VuitW ex rula*-\nor Udrrve. ^-trough!* -\nedged instrument.\n...AND PRE-STof^\n7\/] r\\ HUNDREDS OF\nBRAND NAME PHOTOGRAPHIC ITEMS\n\u2014 ALL AT NOT TO BE MISSED SALE\nPRICES. OLYMPUS \u2014 NIKON \u2014 PEN-\nTAX \u2014 CANON \u2014 SANKYO \u2014\nBOLEX \u2014 MIRANDA \u2014 MAMIYA \u2014\nFUJICA \u2014 EUMIG \u2014 BRONICA \u2014\nAND MUCH, MUCH MORE ....\nSTARTS\nTODAY\nTHE CASE AGAINST\nVIOLENCE\nIN HOCKEY\n3>\n16\nDECISION MAKES MURDER\nlegTStTn\nNHL TANDARU TRADING\n3743 W. 10th\nAT ALMA\nTues. - Sat.\nNoon - 6 p.m.\nImported clothing from India -\nNepal   -   Kashmir  -  Afganistan\n- Central & South America.\nSPRING SALE  \u2022\n10% - 30% OFF\nJURIED STUDENT ART EXHIBITION\nUBC Fine Arts Gallery\nopen to all UBC students\nSubmissions to be made in September\nExhibition will be mounted during the fall term.\nFor more information, call 22\u00a7^2759\nwe want your\nused  textbooks!\nNotice to\nAll Faculty\nDuring the April exam\nperiod the Bookstore\nwill buy back used books\nfor resale in September.\nIN ORDER TO INSURE STUDENTJ\nTHE OPPORTUNITY TO RECYCLE\nAS MANY OF THEIR CURRENT\nTEXTBOOKS AS POSSIBLE, THE\nBOOKSTORE ASKS YOU TO SUB\nMIT YOUR LISTS OF REQUIRED\nFALL TEXTS AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.\nYour co-operation at this time\nwill help us to provide an\nadequate amount of books for\nyour classes well in advance\no* September demands.\nFOR THE PERIOD\nApril 14 & 15\nApril 22 & 23\nApril 27\nget 50% in cash for used textbooks\nscheduled for use in the next\nfall session.\nHIGHEST PRICES ALSO PAID    ''\nFOR DISCONTINUED TEXTS\nthe bookstore\nuniversity of\nbritish Columbia\n228-4741\nGeorge & Berny's\nVOLKSWAGEN\nREPAIRS\nCOMPLETE SERVICE BY\nFACTORY-TRAINED\nMECHANICST\nFULLY GUARANTEED\nAT REASONABLE RATES\n731-8644\n2125 W. 10th at Arbutus\nFRONT QTS'\nSTEAK HOUSE\nVe Camp.* ,\n* DISCOTHEQUE    v\nNOW OPEN\nOPEN MON. TO SAT.\n11 a.m. to 1 a.m.\nSUNDAY\n12 Noon to 10 p.m.\n4444 West 10th Ave.\nFOR RESERVATIONS PHONE\n228-8718\nout hair...\nELIO   cf DOME     FiMIadyCaffe\n4554W. 10th\n224-5636 HOLE\nTHE READERS TAKE OVER\nCO\/MT\/E\/MTS\nPEE-WEE PLUG\nYour Honor:\nI do not often write letters to\nmagazines, however your lack of depth\nhas forced me to bring to your attention\nthe sorely neglected topic of the Pee-\nWee Lawyer's League. Had your\njournalists been on the ball, at least one\nof them would have scooped a great\nstory. . . namely, the establishment of\nthe League mentioned above.\nPerhaps you do not realize the full\nimplication of such an initiative, but\nmany do, and they would just love to\nsee their names printed in a major\nnational magazine. The league was\nestablished in order to educate young\nboys (no girls, please) earlier than\nusual in the art of expressing themselves in a logical, pragmatic, and\nabove all, profitable manner.\nThe benefits to our society are obvious. If we can get sufficient monies\nfor league expansion, up to 25 per cent\nof the male population could be, exposed\nto this program, and thus the number of\npotential lawyers would dramatically\nincrease.\nBut is this good? Oh yes, it's good.\nMore lawyers, in terms of supply and\ndemand means lower cost per kilowatt\nhour for John Q. Public's legal needs. If\nany of the little tykes tell you anything\nabout future profit commission contracts for members of the league, it's a\nlie. Ha ha, they all have a great sense of\nhumor. Ha ha ha ha!\nLoyola S. Pigwick LL.B.\nScranton, N.J.\nCUM FOR YOUR LIFE\nYour Honor:\nMay I suggest to Time-Life Inc. that\ntheir journalistic imperialist eye to an\narea totally neglected by established\nmagazines. I refer, of course, to the\nworld's oldest profession \u2014 the saleable\nwomen.\nFor centuries women have\nprostituted themselves \u2014 some for\nmoney on the streets, some for drugs\nand others, more commonly, for\npolitical gain or good marks in\nuniversity.\nYour magnificent offshoot of Sports\nIllustrated, Torts Illustrated, needs one\nmore mag to make the triumverant\ncomplete \u2014Tarts Illustrated. It doesn't\nhappen to be your everyday skin sheet\nwith cum shots and blow jobs and nude\ncentrefolds.\nRather it can capture the exquisite\n14\nbeauty of a woman selling herself\nphysically, rather than mentally.\nBelieve me I know all about it.\nFurthermore, I would volunteer to\nact as senior editor for the new Tarts\nIllustrated. Contact me through my\nagent if you can find him.\nXaviera Hollander\nToronto, Canada\nNAUGHTY BITS\n-Your Honor:\nThanks for the outstanding article on\nhow lawyers stop wetting their beds\n(Pooh-pooh on pee-pee, Feb. 10). I\nfound it most helpful in curing my\nhusband, a QC for ten years if you can\nbelieve it, from wetting our queen size\nbed.\nIt's not the wetting I mind so much,\nbut the complaining he does when he\ncomes home from the squash court\nyapping about a rash you know where.\nThanks to your article our sheets are\nclean, my husband is winning in squash\nand I'm getting sane again.\nElke Summer\nNice, France\nSIPHILUS SHULTZ\nYour Honor:\nI must complain about your vicious\nand unfair treatment of my brother\nDave in the February edition of Torts\nIllustrated.\nFirst of all Dave is not and never has\nbeen a homosexual. Second the fact\nthat Dave's hands drag along the\nground when he walks has no relation at\nall to his intellectual capabilities.\nActually Dave is very intelligent and\nonly walks that way because he has a\nchronic case of itchy knuckles.\nThis tragic illness began when we\nwere very young and my brother and I\nroamed the street of our hometown,\nRosehip, Saskatchewan.\nOne lonely night we encountered a\nwoman of disrepute leaning against the\ntown lamp post. Being a very religious\nboy Dave pleaded with her to leave her\nevil profession behind. She spat in his\nface.\nDave reacted as any redblooded\nCanadian boy would: he punched her in\nthe eye. Unbeknownst to Dave the\nwhore had a disgusting social disease\nwhich has infected his hand ever since.\nIn your February edition you imply\nthat Dave's aggressive play on the ice\nEdited bv GAY  FLOOD\nand his liberal use of his hockey stick in\nfights with members of the opposing\nteam is improper.\nThis not true. Ever since the invention of the spear in the stone age,\nman has used hand-wielded weapons\nfor self defence. Thus Dave is only\nupholding an ancient sporting tradition\nwhen he \"lays on the lumber.\"\nDave is also helping to bring the\nstandards of spectator sport back to the\napex it reached during ancient Roman\ntimes. Since Dave joined the Flyers the\nPhiladelphia Spectrum has oftentimes\nbeen compared to the Roman Coliseum\nat its height.\nDave is a credit to the game and not\nthe ruthless killer you make him out to\nbe.\nBilly Shultz\nFASCISM FOR ALL\nYour Honor (Honour in Canada):\nThat recent alleged feature on certain justices of the piece can only be\nviewed as an abuse of learned privilege\nand chamber photography. After all, as\nmy friend remarked to me during an\nintellectual discourse on jurisprudence\nand the art of the shutter-bug, \"The f\nstops here.\" You are courting disaster\nof the worst order and the development\nof such myopic mumblety-pegs (cf. lisa\nhobbs vs. the ailing arch snow) can only\nbe assessed damages  in the  neighborhood of steamed hot dogs.\nThat's right, I'm glad you remember.\nAfter all, why not. As long as I'm in\npower, not one acre of legal argument\nwill be left bare, nor the doukhobors.\nOh oh, here comes Paul Drake. He's\nwearing boxing gloves and a worried\npair of jockey shorts. My god, look, he's\nbelted perry across the mouth. Look at\nthat blood, flowing on the immaculate\nvelvet carpet that has sustained the\nlong, torturous process of the american\nconstipation   that   began   with   chief\njustice marshall law in the sixties. And\nDelia Street has been railroaded into\nturning state's witness. Perry . . . yes,\nhe's really hurt. . . he's climbing into a\nwheelchair ... he has a gun . . . it's the\nmonkey trial all over again. As Willie\nMays remarked wistfully as he drew a\n30-year term, \"How many strikes is it?\nIs it one strike? Is it two strikes? How\nmany strikes is it?\"\nLegally yours,\nHam Berger\nApril   1,   1976 Volume 69, No.'9\n8 Banging the Beaver\nCanada's favorite animal gets his balls\nbagged and goes to court\nby Rodd Gunn\n18   Breakfast off Champions\nMountains of fortified mung to keep\nNational Hockey League players happy\nby Lefty Wing\n24 She's not dumb\nShe's    like    most    college    football\ncheerleaders \u2014 utterly devoid of brains\nby Patty Hearst\n30 Grappling with    Guppies\nArmchair fishing provides recreation for\nbusy lawyers cooped up in their offices\nby Melvin Belli\n36 High Flying Yurd\nHang gliders' poo-poo is causing legal\nbattles across the country\nby John Glenn\n4a Quakes are his Game\nShotputter Barry Biceps is being sued\nfor shaking things up  with his shots\nby Foster Hewitt\nThe Departments\n5 Score card\n42 Street Hockey\n48 Transcripts\n54 Arguments\n73 For the Jury\n14 19th Hole\nNext Week\nORGY IN OREGON is the West Coast trial\nof a famous basketball player charged with\nthe murder of a National Basketball\nAssociation referee. Torts Illustrated\nreporter Biff Hulk will cover the event.\nJOCKS OF THE WORLD will gather in\nPango-Pango to celebrate the reincarnation\nof Babe Ruth. Ruth is being exhumed from\nhis grave under the Yankee Stadium\npitcher's mound for the event. LETTER FROM THE PUBUSHER\nSPORTS LIKE THESE ARE OFTEN IGNORED\nSports is a very complex subject.\nWhat fans see on the ice or the field or\nin the stadium is the end result of many\nlong, frustrating hours behind the\nscenes moulding everything into place.\nMost newspapers and magazines\ndevoted to the sporting world try to\ncapture the glory and victory of the\nplayers while totally ignoring the\nequally challenging feats of lawyers\nand administrators, without whose help\nthe show couldn't go on.\nThat's why Time-Life has expanded\nits services and style to cover this very\nimportant aspect of professional and\namateur sports. In its usual snarky,\nhard-hitting reporting style coupled\nwith fictional anecdotes about everyone\nin the news, Time-Life has set up an\neditorial format in Torts Illustrated to\nrigidly conform with our successful\nmagazines currently in operation.\nWhat's so great about Time-Life and\nTorts Illustrated? We're never wrong.\nWe just don't make mistakes and if\nsomeone claims we do, then they're\nwrong.\nTorts Illustrated is an exciting new\nconcept in sports reporting, virtually\nignoring the overpaid, overweight,\nspoiled pro-athletes and concentrated\non the brilliant lawyers and legal\nbeagles who make the whole thing tick.\nYou see pro hockey every fall and\nspring but you never read about the\ntrials and lawsuits fought in the courts\nover the off season that keep the pros in\nbusiness. Now you will.\nYou never used to be read about what\nkind of sports lawyers enjoy themselves. Now you will.\nBefore you were insulted by the\npompous, shallow meanderings of so-\ncalled sports writers. Now your brain\nwill be massaged with the finest intelligent legalese mixed with the\ndelicate fragrance of jock talk.\n\u00abIt promises to be a delightful concept.\nAnd, of course, Time-Life cameras will\nalways be on hand to bring you top legal\npictures anywhere in the world making\nTorts Illustrated the most picturesque\nmagazine since Life died.\nThe clever title of Torts Illustrated,\nTorts, is the legal term to define a civil\ncourt action by one member of society\nagaiast another. But our new magazine\nisn't that stale.\nWe plan to cover all events of interest\nto the modern intellect: the latest\ndouble-knit spring suits, camels,\nLiberal party conventions, plus\nthoroughly elitist sports such as polo,\nsailing, cricket, lawn tennis, hunting,\nsports fishing and all the other rich\nman's games.\nJoin us every week for erudite views\non the world of sports in Torts\nIllustrated.\nTorts Illustrated\nFounder: Henry R. Loose 1898-1904\nEditor-in-Chief: Smedly Douchenozzle\nChairman of the Board:\nJohn Kenneth Galbraith\nPresident: Richard M. Nixon\nGroup Vice President, Magazines:\nClarence Darrow\nVice Chairman: Spider Sabich\nExecutive Editor: H. A. D. Oliver\nAssistant     Managing     Editors:     Hosiah    Fix,\nGarde Gardom\nArt Director: Salvadore Dali\nSenior Editors: Gene Creamer, Jim Banham,\nArnie Myers, Allan Fotheringham, Bob McConnell, Dick McLean, David Ablett, Randolph Hearst, Patty Hearst\t\nSenior Writers: Judith Walker, Mark Buckshon, Elija Pitts, Sean Rossiter, Jack Wasserman, George Daacon, John Twigg, Nicole\nDickland, Lome Hardon\t\nAssociate Editors: Gay Flood, Lisa Hobbs,\nByron Hender, Himie Koshevoy, Ken Dodd,\nJohn Arnett, Jake van der Kamp, Peter\nNewman, Pat Putman, Harold Weiner\nStaff Writers: I. P. Nitely, Patrick Nagle, Mark\nBuckshon, Bob Rayfieid, Mark Le Buffoon,\nWeldon Hickey, Jack Hill, Earl Lowry, Herman Munster\nDirector   of   Photography:    Franco   Citeralla\n(A.S.S.) \t\nProduction Manager: Dave Nelson\nChief of Research: Mervin P. Hymen\t\nPhotography: Doug Field, Matt King, Deryl\nMobb, Bob Tsai, Lambert Loh, Peter Cummings,     Anthony     Armstrong-Jones,     Ralph\nBower, Charlie Warner\t\nStaff Photographs: Don McLeod, Andy Warhol, David Bowerman\t\nWriter-Reporters: Ralph Loffmark, Ace\nMcCarthy,   Dave  Brown,  Jungle Jim  Bennett\nsenior   Keponers:  mat*  dui-mmum,  \u00bb-*,\nCraik,    Spew    Savard,    Lynn    Batten,\nFarrow, Jock Strap, Christy Blatchford\nMoira\nSenior  Reporters:  Mark Buckshon, Cameron\nCraik,    Spe\u2014    \u00ab=\u2014\u25a0-\"\u2022     ' \"\"\"    \u00ab=>*\u2666<\nFarrow, Joe\nReporters: Bill Graham, Catherine Khulman,\nGarner Ted Armstrong, Oral Roberts, George\nBeverley Shea, Mormon Tabernacle Choir, Pat\nBoone, Moses, Joseph, Mary, Three Wise Men,\nGeorge Hermanson, Pope Paul\nArt Department: Earl Smith, Jack Ramsay,\nJean Renoir, Henry Matisse, Paul Gaugin,\nEmily Carr, Group of Seven\t\nCopy Desk: Pat Blowey, Jack McLeod, Rich\nLittle, Frank Gorshin, Marcel Marceau, Mark\nBuckshon, Gene Kiniski\t\nProduction: Richard Zanuck, Jack Warner,\nIrving Thalberg, William Wyler\nAdministrative Department: Jack van der\nKamp, Dave Stinson, John Toogood\t\nSpecial Contributors: Stuart Keate, Dave Nelson, Paul McCartney, Bill Graham, Brian\nNelson, Rod Stewart, Anne Murray, Nancy\nGreene Raine, Karen Maggotson, Greg Neely,\nKathy Kriener, Claudine Longet (Shooting\nEditor), Knute Rockney, Frank Gnup, Pa,ul\nHorning, Bart Starr, Y. A. Tittle\nTime-Life News Service: Chief, Dan George;\nDeputy, Arthur Weeks    \t\nEditorial   Services:   Xavier  Hollander   (Director),   Fanne   Foxe,  Judy   Campbell,   Princess\nMargaret, Betty Fprd\nPublisher: Cinq DeFreeze\nGeneral Manager: Bern Grady\nAssociate Publisher: Claude Ryan\nBusiness Manager: Alan Eagleson\nAdvertising Sales Director:   Fred Vyse\nCirculation Director: Donald Palmer\nPromotion Director: Angelo Branca\nSpecial Events Director: Sam Toy\nEnterprises: Les Bewley\nCopy Runner: Jack Brooks, Q.C.\nTEQUILA\nSAUZA\nThe Tequila\nwith the\nspirit of\nMexico.\nFACES m TOE CIROWD\nGLORIA SCHLEPSTEIN\na sophomore at North\nDakota's P igsty\nCollege, outbellowed\nall competitors in that\ninstitution's annual\nhog calling contest\nlast week. Unfortunately, Gloria, like the\nrest of her opponents,\nlost her hearing in the\naffair. All of them are\nsuing    the   university.\nRONGWAY BLAHSFORD\nstill trim at 27, retired\nfrom that old sport of\ntouching your nose\nwith your tongue\nmany years ago, but\nstill can be seen\npractising the art\nwhile he waits for\njuries to bring in\nverdicts in his new job\nof parking ticket\nattorney  in The  Pas.\nIRVING FETISH\n28, a senior at\nO s g o o d e Hall,\nrecently astounded\nhis classmates by\nannouncing he is\nactually a woman and\nplans to marry his\nlongtime handball\ncoach, C larence\nCambell. Disgustingly\nugly, Fetish says his\nfacial    hair   is    fake.\nFRED FERDMAN\nsurprised everyone\nwhen he woke up\nrecently during a\nmurder trial he was\npresiding over.\nDefendant Reuben\n(Flatulence) Carter, a\nformer ping pong\nchampion (some say\nhe could have made it\nto the top),\nimmediately asked his\nlawyer  for   a   mistrial.\nSPITOON SPEWLEY\nis smiling now, but he\nwasn't too pleased\nwhen the administration at Dubious\nUniversity took away\nhis big block in\nswimming when they\ndiscovered he almost\ndrowned last week in\nhis bathtub. His wife,\nwho was scrubbing his\nback,  revived him.\nSALADBAR ADDENDUM\nwas stoical to the last\nwhen he was placed\nbefore a firing squad\nand pummelled to\ndeath with rifle butts\n(they had no bullets\nat Argentina's Social\nCredit University).\nThe former dialectic\ncoach at SCU had\nbeen accused of\nfailing to acknowledge his greatness. ,\u201e LAWYERS URGED:\nNO SEX TRIALS\nJUDGE:       Will the counsel for the\nplaintiff please explain what he is doing\non the courtroom floor?\nSALAMI:   Oh-h-h. Oh my God.\nJUDGE:   What did he say?\nCLERK:    \"Oh-h-h. Oh my God.\"\nQuickly becoming a swollen, blood-\nfilled, rigid battle among bar\nassociations throughout the United\nStates and Canada is the two-year-old\ncontroversy over ethics of lawyers\nengaging in sexual liasons just prior to\nimportant courtroom appearances.\nLast month's historic ruling in\nCalgary's Provincial Courtroom\nNumber Five over the Calgary Suppository libel trial was the late and\nlengthy climax of the taut, steadily-\ngrowing furor.\nStewart Salami, the 190 pound 37-\nyear-old litigation veteran from Wong,\nWong, Wong, and Orgasm, was\nrepresenting the Alberta legislature's\nmercurial member for Hung-Horse,\nGeorge Bernard Shit, who was suing\nthe bi-weekly Suppository for a\ntypographical error. Shit's case ran\ninto trouble early in the trial, when\nSalami appeared at the preliminary\nhearing in the throes of a coronary and\nwhat appeared to be a wet dream.\nAfter a lengthy adjournment,\npresiding judge Walter Peepee ruled\nSalami's coronary out of order and\nwarned that contempt of court\nproceedings would begin if the court\nwere to be interrupted by any further\norgasms.\nCommenting on the ruling later,\nSalami said his bizarre performance in\ncourt had been brought on by his recent\ndivorce and \"an aversion to can-\nteloupe.\" He said the ruling was a bad\nbreak but had not hurt his chances for a\nfavorable verdict. Suppository attorney\nD. W. Yoni accused Salami of using a\nblatant psychological ploy to gain an\nearly edge on the Suppository's\ndefense, while plaintiff Shit maintained the ruling was \"all a clever play\non words using the name of the senior\npartner (205 pound corporate bad boy\nCharles \"Kip\" Wong) of Salami's law\nfirm.\"\nMr. Justice Peepee's spry, sensuous\n150 pound ruling \u2014 later overturned by\n12\na panel of amateur gymnasts and\nUkrainians \u2014 is a landmark in the story\nbegun in Toronto, 1974 when Itching and\nNasty's star tort lawyer Abe Pancreas\nrefused to appear in court for a scrotal\nwhiplash suit unless granted a Non-\nSelf-Abuse clause in his contract.\nUltimately unsated by Itching and\nNasty's offers, Pancreas jumped to\nShibblet and Gommorrah who\nguaranteed him a date with Anne\nMeara and a Phillipino houseboy on the\neve of each important court appearance.\nBut it was in August 1975 that\nPacreas was disbarred for attempting\nto assault the presiding judge in a\nmalpractice suit, claiming he \"hadn't\nhad it in days.\"\nToday, despite the major setbacks of\nthe Pancreas case, many progressive\nfactions of the legal circles have hailed\nthe Peepee ruling as the sign of\nloosening controls on the sexual activity in the justice system.\n\"I mean, what is all the commotion\nabout?\" a 28-year-old, 175-pound articling rookie asked a Torts Illustrated\ncorrespondent last month as he poured\nsteaming coffee, heavily laced with\nbenzedrine, down the throbbing throat\nof his firm's senior partner.\n\"I mean, it's only an arrangement,\"\nhe explained. \"Y'know, it's not as if he\nhad to make a summation or plea\nbargain or anything, and we brought\nalong his emergency 30-minute tape of\nhim saying \"may it please the court\"\nand \"be that as it may\" just in case.\nBesides, he didn't even stay in for the\nwhole shot, if you know what I mean.\"\nCondemning most judges' and law\nfirms' tight reins on shyster bedroom\nantics, Dr. Albert Albert Redundant, a\nclinical phrenologist at the University\nof That Corridor Up The Stairs And\nBehind The Tampon Dispenser, attributes 70 per cent of all backlog and\nbureaucracy in North American legal\nsystems on small animals with electric\ntypewriters and lawyers who touch\nthemselves.\n\"Well, let's face it, I mean they can't\nall be Perry Mason, can they? Or even\nthe Defenders, for that matter.\nAnyway, where else they going to get it\nthey don't get it at home? I mean, you\nlook even at me and I'll tell you I'd be a\ndamn wreck without the missus. I\nmean, look at those fancy-pants\nlawyers in their blue suits and their\nChristian Dior ties and they don't know\na damn thing about a good, honest\nrelationship between a man and a\nShetland pony.\"\nBut representatives of the conservative factions maintain their\nresistance to the sex-for-lawyers lobbyists with the same fervor as they\nopposed sideburns and Nehru jackets\nas allowable courtroom attire in the\n'fiOs.\n\"What must be remembered is that\nthis phenomenon is not a new one,\"\nexplains retired parallel circuit judge\nand current roller derby referee\nMaxwell Booger. \"When confronted\nwith similar demands while I was on\nthe bench, I would gently advise such\ngentlemen to either curb their desires\nor else not be surprised if they were to\nreceive 38-calibre vasectomies when\ncaught defiling themselves.\"\nMr. Justice Booger, a lithe 115-\npounder whose ripened body pulsed\nfrom beneath the flimsy silk of his robe\nand the austere cut of his suit, stroked\nhis thing.\n'C\u00a9RMCAIRD\nNHL SEEKS TACKLER\nNational Hockey League owners are\nmoving to beef up their bargaining\nposition in an expected legal showdown\nwith the NHL Players' Association.\nThat at least is one rationale behind the\nNHL inviting giant former Toronto\nArgonauts tackle Mike \"The Enforcer\"\nLaudsworth, 32, to appear before the\nleague's presidential selection committee.\nNow a Toronto criminal lawyer,\nLaudsworth expressed complete\nsurprise at the invitation to join the\nrace to succeed septogenarian NHL\npresident Clarence Campbell. Still\nretaining his playing shape, the 6'4\"\n270-pound Laudsworth has kept active\nin sports as color comentator for\nCanadian Television Network football\ntelecasts. But the Mississippi State\ngraduate admits he knows about as\nmuch about hockey as Steve Durbano.\nNHL executive director Brian O'Neill\nexplained NHL officials became interested in Laudsworth after witnessing \"The. Enforcer's\" spirited\nperformance prosecuting a rape trial in\nby BENT CANNON\nAT LAST A BOOK EXPLAINING\nSPORTS AND CRIMINAL LAW TO\nTHE LAYMAN FAN\nOver the past few years, hockey has\nemerged as one of the most active fields\nin sport for criminal law. As hockey has\nexpanded in popularity around\nAmerica, violence has showed a\ncorresponding increase \u2014 many people\nbelieve the two developments are\nrelated.\nIn an NHL exhibition hockey game in\nOttawa, a small town in Quebec, on\nSept. 20, 1969, a stick-swinging duel\nbetween Ted Green of the Boston\nBruins and Wayne Maki of the St. Louis\nBlues ended with Green going to\nhospital with a near-fatal skull fracture\nand both he and Green going to court\nwith assault' charges. An important\nprecedent was bound to be set.\nThe result of it all was an acquittal of\nEdited Mr. Creamjeans\nToronto. \"From what I understand he\nhas just the sort of presence we're\nlooking for. We feel we want to adopt a\nmore definite, a more strident, identifiable position, if you understand\nme.\"\nAs for Laudsworth he's intriqued by\nthe idea.\n\"Shit, I guess they want someone who\nhas the lungs to shout down that boopsy\nEagleson (NHLPA counsel Alan\nEagleson, also a Toronto lawyer) and\nmatch him legal precedent, objection\nby objection all the way down . the\nland,\" mused Laudsworth over a beer.\n\"And what the hell, I've got to be interested in that sort of action. I've\nabout had it with this pantywaist black\nrobe and 'My Lord this and my learned\nfriend that's bullshit.\"\nWRESTLERS SWEAT\nWrestling fans are no doubt used to\nseeing (and smelling) their heroes\ncovered in sweat as they exit the ring to\ncompare notes with their\nchoreographer in the dressing room.\nWhat these same fans don't know is\nthat some wrestlers' sweat is not\ncaused by the exertions that complement the world of grunt and groan.\nIt's the sweat of pure, unbridled fear.\nThe problem is that lately, some of the\nparticipants in the professional sport\nhave taken up wrestling \u2014 the kind that\ninvolves beating your opponent without\na script.\nAnd the return to ad lib wrestling (as\nsome wrestling lawyer put it in a\nKingston, Ont., courtroom last week) is\nstarting to get the old style wrestlers,\ntheir promoters and lawyers quite\nupset.\n\"Upset? I'm fucking pissed off,\" said\nElsworth Huntington-Snypes-Smith,\nlegal representative for longtime fan\npleaser Larry (Lobotomy) Crusher.\nHuntington-Snypes-Smith said he plans\nto pull his boy out of any future cards\nwith any of the new breed of wrestlers\nwho, he said, are \"a bunch of inconsiderate, unorthodox, ignorant\nHarvard types.\"\nBut Dave Schulz, a hockey player in\nthe off season and one of the proponents\nof the new style of wrestling, said his\nlawyer, Alan Eagleson, a hockey\nlawyer in the off season, will fight any\nattempt to boycott the new breed of\nwrestlers.\nSchulz said his \"mouthpiece\" (as he\naffectionately calls his lawyer) is\nprepared to fight any outside interference, even if he has to go to the\nsupreme court.\nboth and also the fascinating court\nrecord, Regina versus Green and Maki.\nThis case has since been overshadowed\nby that of Henry Boucha of the Minnesota North Stars, whose assault trial\nended in a well hung jury and of the\nDetroit Red Wings' Dan Maloney,\nwhose case is still before the courts.\nThe Green-Maki trial was the first\nassault trial dealing with an incident in\nprofessional hockey and perhaps in\nprofessional sport. The lawyers'\narguments over this precedent form\nperhaps the most interesting aspect of\nthe trial for legal beavers.\nBut the layman is not forgotten\neither. Doubledeal has now published\nan unexpurgated transcript of the\ntestimony of Green and Maki (who died\nof unrelated causes in 1974). The\nstruggle of the two on the ice during the\ngame culminates in violence, which for\nreal fans is what hockey is all about.\nGreat reading.\nSmash. Crack. OOOf, er, sorry. Well,\nanyway, this transcript does describe\nin graphic detail the duel between the\ntwo hockey players. But for now I'll\nleave all the good stuff to your\nimagination.\nBut what about the overshadowing\nlegal question: Should hockey players\nwho assault, injure and\/or kill one\nanother be prosecuted? Or is a game\nmisconduct or a two-minute roughing\npenalty adequate? With the present\nparole system, many cynics answer yes\nto the last question. The heart of the\nmatter (and the trial record, for that\nmatter) are lawyers' arguments over\nthese questions. A conviction (and\nthere has not been one to date) would\ndrastically affect the rules of hockey,\nand thus has been fought quietly and\nfirmly by the hockey leagues.\nNHL president Clarence Campbell\nsays that hockey is no more violent\ntoday than before expansion. But\nanyone who reads the transcript of this\n1970 trial will find out, in legaleze of\ncourse, the truth. This transcript is an\ninvaluable guide for the lawyer who\nwants to break into the rapidly expanding field of fighting assault\ncharges arising from professional\nsport.\nJUDGE IMPOSES DURING LAWYERS' SEX FANTASY Murder is never pleasant at the best\nof times, but in a Toronto court this\nweek one of the most sensational \u2014 and\nsordid \u2014 stories in sport history unfolded into a jury verdict giving the\nNational Hockey League license to kill.\n\"This placates everyone who has\never complained that hockey is too\nviolent,\" commenting aging NHL\npresident Clarence Campbell after a\njury of eight men and' four women\nreturned a verdict of not guilty against\nToronto Maple Leaf winger Jean-Guy\nLaMerde, charged with murdering an\nopponent during a game February 7.\nThe six-week trail, punctuated by\npleas from seven team owners that a\nguilty verdict would kill Canada's\nnational sport \u2014 although only three\nNHL teams are Canadian \u2014 was the\nculmination of an ongoing legal attack\nagainst hockey violence dating back to\n1970.\n\"Of course I'm elated by the verdict,\" LaMerde told reporters while\nstill rubbing his handcuff-swollen\nwrists after being released by sheriff's\nofficers. \"I'm sorry that a life had to be\nlost in the process, but that's pro\nsport... it sells the tickets and it pays\nmy salary.\"\nLaMerde, represented by famed\nhockey lawyer Allan Leagleson, sat\nemotionless as the jury filed in to\ndeliver its verdict following less than\none minute of deliberation, a record in\nToronto county court history. Spending\nnights during the trial in the city jail,\nLaMerde would come to court each day\naccompanied by his guard, the pert, 23-\nyear-old Mexican-Black Jamies\nHimeniz who was photographed\nthousands of times with the accused\nhockey star.\nLaMerde's wealthy parents, owners\nof a chain of Montreal radio stations,\nattended the trial daily and gave moral\nsupport while the son was subjected to\ncontinuous attacks from witnesses.\nMrs. LaMerde broke into tears when\nthe verdict was announced. Wallace\nLaMerde, the father, said tersely:\n\"Jesus Christ.\"\nThe incident which led to all this\nfanfare occurred in February at Maple\nLeaf Gardens in the second period when\nLaMerde speared Buffalo Sabre centre\nTim Murphy in the stomach. Evidence\nat the trial before Mr. Justice R. J.\nGumby was that after the initial spear,\nLaMerde's blade broke from his stick,\nleaving a sharp, jagged edge.\nLet's pick up the story in the colorful\nwords of play-by-play broadcaster Bill\nHewett who, because of his dull,\nmonotone voice, was the Crown's key\nwitness in describing the incident:\n\"Well Brian, oh I'm sorry . . . well\nyour honor it was midway through the\nsecond period \u201413:07 as I recall \u2014 and\nwe werewatching Tim Murphy take the\nANYTHING GOES ON ICE\nAS LAMERDE ACQUITTED\nREGINA vs. MPNER,\nMATCH OF THE YEAR\nby DONNY O'GALLIVAN\npuck in his own zone and make a rush\nup to the centre line.\n\"Suddenly, from the left side Jean-\nGuy LaMerde, wearing Leaf sweater\nnumber 7, came charging at Murphy\nand jabbed his stick into his chest. It\nwas a vicious attack \u2014- as vicious as\nI've seen in 23 years broadcasting\nhockey \u2014 and the blade of LaMerde's\nstick broke off leaving jagged slivers of\nwood.\n\"Then, before a hushed crowd \u2014\nmost of whom were witnesses \u2014 he\nraised the weapon into the air and\nplunged it into an opening between\nMurphy's pad. The blue jersey bloomed\ninto a dark red and Murphy collapsed to\nthe ice.\n\"The stick was so deep into his solar\nplexis it stuck in as players, trainers\nand doctors rushed to his side. Blood\ncovered the ice and fans looked on,\nsome muttering to themselves that they\ngot their money's worth.\n\"Referee Bill Ashly gave LaMerde\nfive minutes for spearing and that\nappeared to be all, but for some reason\nLaMerde argued the severity of the\ncall. He tried to shove Ashly and was\nassessed an additional 10 minutes.\n\"To me he appeared to want to\nprotest that call too when the linesman\ncame over and said Murphy had just\ndied. After hearing that, LaMerde just\nskated over to the penalty box and sat\ndown.\"\nThroughout his two-hour testimony,\nHewett often dabbed his eyes with a\ncrumpled Leaf program as he recalled\nthe incident which, \"in my opinion was\nthe most horrendous display of violence\nI've ever witnessed.\"\nBut NHL president Cambell saw it\ndifferently. \"It's just the product of the\nimagination of a lot of kooks who know\nnothing about it,\" Cambell told\nprosecutor Leon Dombroski when\nasked to comment on Hewett's\nanalysis.\n\"What does he know anyway,\" the\nMURPHY GRIMACES WITH PAIN SHORTLY BEFORE DYING\nby ANGELO DUNDEE\nThe big, brawny man in the double-knit\ntuxedo sank back in his deck chair in\nthe first class section of the Oriana, in\nhis large ring-encrusted right hand a\nseemingly tiny Cuba Libre; in his\nequally ring-encrusted large left hand a\nlong and fragrant cigar. Except that he\nwas a black, he could have been one of\nthe fighters. He wasn't.\n\"This is it, man,\" he glowered.\n\"More money for one fight than the\nnational debt of all those bottom-o'-th,'-\nbarrel countries that thoughts they was\ntoo big for me. The biggest heavy of 'em\nall! Don E. King!\"\nThe Oriana, to be the site of the bout\nbetween Chuck Wepner and Elizabeth\nWindsor for the world white\nheavyweight boxing championship,\nsteamed on through the Mediterranean\nnight with its cargo of King, Wepner\nand Windsor, 800 of the wealthiest\npeople on the face of the earth, closed\ncircuit television equipment which\nwould beam the fight into stadiums\neverywhere in the civilized world and,\nlike the man say, more money than\nwould cover the national debt of those\ncountries that could not meet King's\nconditions for hosting the fight: $4.9\nbillion.\nIn a small temporary gymnasium,\ntwo decks below where King was sitting\ngetting plastered and watching the sun\nset, sweat rolled down the back, front,\nsides, top and bottom of Chuck Wepner.\nThe finest white heavyweight in the\nworld since George Chuvalo was\nauctioned off to Burns and finally taken\nto the slaughterhouse. Wepner was\nbrutally attacking his sparring partner,\na small, slight woman who was long\nunconscious and probably dead.\nBut Wepner wasn't thinking of his\nsparring partner. He was thinking of a\ntime, less than 24 hours away, when he\nwould step through the ropes into the\nring in the great first-class passengers'\nrestaurant, down on D deck. Wepner\nknew he would be facing the toughest\nchallenge to his title from the tiniest\nopponent \u2014 British and European white\nheavyweight titleholder Windsor.\n\"Let's just say we know something\nthey don't know,\" says Felton \"F. Lee\"\nBailey, Windsor's experienced second\nand chief strategist. Presumably,\n\"they\" did: the tale of the tape told\nagainst Windsor. Her 5'7\", 128-lb.\nframe gave away 10 inches in height,\nand more than 90 pounds in weight to\nWepner; her reach was less than two-\nthirds that of the lanky American. Most\ntelling, she was almost twice his age.\nWepner and manager\/author George\nWoodcock laughed and made silly jokes\nwhen, instead of joining Wepner for\n5,760 laps around deck in the mornings,\nshe closeted herself with lawyers.\n\"She's changing her will,\" they would\nsay. But deep down they were worried;\nsomehow she seemed to be\nstrengthening her will.\nIndeed, despite her obvious physical\ndisadvantages, the 800 jet-setters (in\nthis case, wet-setters) had their money\nfirmly on Windsor, or rather, had\nWindsor firmly on their money: round\ncoin-like objects and paper bills,\nredeemable for food drink and other\nobjects on the ship, were selling much\nmore rapidly than the gaudy Win With\nWepner hats, t-shirts and pennants.\nThe stage was set for the precedent-\nsetting battle, Regina versus Wepner; a\nbattle that would go through many\nrounds before being resolved.\nShortly before the bell for the first\nround tolled, Bailey whispered\nsomething in the Queen's ear and she\nnodded. And when Wepner lumbered\nout of his corner, three bailiffs leaped\nthrough the rings and seized him.\n\"Charles Wepner?\" one said.\n\"Thath me,\" mumbled the pugilist\nthrough his Winnwell mouthguard.\n, The bailiff replied that Wepner owed\n17.55 for a dine-and-dash from a\nMacon steakhouse in 1966 and arrested\nhim for non-payment. Wepner's agent\nimmediately paid the debt but not\nbefore the end of the first round; which\nwas scored in the Queen's favor on the\ncards of all three judges.\nWhat soon became clear to everyone\nat ringside except Wepner himself was\nthat the Queen was using the stall\nstrategy (see Regina versus Bugner,\n1965 Canadian Criminal Cases 442,\nOntario provincial court.\nAfter paying two parking fines and\nfighting a non-support case for the next\nthree times, Wepner changed his\ntactics, at first quite successfully. He\nappealed to judge Arthur Mercante to\nrule The Queen's previous tactics out of\norder, and by a vote of 2-1 the judges did\nthis, with only judge Hired Hand\ndissenting. As a result, the result of the\nfourth round, originally found in the\nQueen's favor, was overturned, and\nWepner was awarded that round.\nBut the Queen argued that such an\nafter-the-fact judgment was ipso facto\nnot without prejudice, and appealed to\nthe World Boxing Authority; in the\nmeantime winning the fifth-round by\nslapping an injunction on Wepner.\nThe WBA, however, cited Regina vs.\nHamburger (1928) and Regina vs.\nBiltenikoff (1944) and backed up the\nruling of the ring-judges.\nOutscored heavily to this point in the\nbattle, Wepner took heart from this\nsmall victory. Charging that the Queen\nactually knew she had little hope of\nwinning the appeal on the fourth round,\nbut used the appeal for the injunction to\nwin the fifth, Wepner sued the Queen\nand Bailey for punitive damages, court\ncosts, and appealed that the result of\nthe fifth round, based as it was on the\nappeal of the fourth round results, be\noverturned.\nDespite a brilliant defence argument\nby Bailey, who cited cases going back\nalmost as far as the magna carta, the\nthree judges found for Wepner, so by\nthe end of the sixth round, the battle\nwas all even.\nWepner changed tactics for the\nseventh: when the bell rang, he ran into\nthe ring, grabbed the Queen and\ncommenced to beat the living shit out of\nher. It helped him win that round, as it\nturned out, but was also a turning\npoint; from then on the Queen, or at\nleast her lawyers, won the day.\nAs he later confessed, Wepner's move\nwas exactly what the canny \"F. Lee\"\nBailey had been waiting for. He immediately filed a civil suit against\nWepner for assault and battery.\nWepner maintained that by signing the\nboxing contract and by placing herself\nin the ring, the Queen was implicitly\nliable to be getting the shit beaten out of\nher.\nHowever, Bailey cited Doolittle\nversus Nagasaki (1945) and claimed\nthat even though the victim of the\nalleged assault was \"asking for it,\" it\ndid not give the assailant the right to\ncommit  the   assault.\nWepner lost the case; unable to pay\ncourt costs (his loser's guarantee of $2.3\nmillion didn't even cover the down\npayment for his unsuccessful lawyers\n(Bakan, Sossidge, Chipps and Spam),\nhe was forced to take a job washing\ndishes in a New York luncheonette and\ncouldn't continue the fight.\nWill there be a rematch?\n\"I doubt it,\" said Wepner from\nbehind a pile of dirty side plates. \"You\ncan't fight city hall.\"\nOr old Bailey, as it turns out.\nOpposite: \"Put your dukes up!\n11 THE NEW SIGNALS\nHANGING\nKARATE CHOP FINGERNAILS LEFT HOOK\nCOFFIN\nA     ;\nKIDNEY NAUGHTY\naging Cambell said. \"His father is\nsenile and the young son only plays\nwith half a deck at the best of times.\"\nThe league president argued that the\nlaw has no business dealing with on-ice\nissues, even if the charges are as\nserious as Murder. \"If you go for 50\nyears and our discipline is acceptable,\nwhat is there that has happened all of a\nsudden to make it so unacceptable?\nCertainly it isn't anything that's happening in the game, I'll guarantee you\nthat...\"\n\"I've said this many times \u2014 the\nmost violent thing that happens in\nhockey games these days is the\nlanguage, and most of it is by the coach\nagainst the players. They've even\nabandoned the referees now.\"\nWhen asked how he could possibly\nmake such a remark in the face of the\nviolence which killed Murphy, Cambell\nreplied: \"Well, I admit it isn't your\naverage case, but fighting between the\nboys is part of the game and if that's\nhow it ends up, that's how it ends up.\nWhat do you think would happen to\nticket sales if there wasn't the thrill of\nblood and guts action. We'd all be broke\nand the owners would get a proper\nreturn on their capital investment.\"\nAdded Cambell, often accused of\nbeing slightly silly: \"What would have\nhappened to gladiator duels in old\nRome if the courts kept convicting\npeople of murder everytime someone\nrammed a long metal sword through an\nopponents' bloody guts. There'd be a\nriot, that's what!\"\nCambell's remarks raised eyebrows\nin the courtroom but defense lawyer\nLeagleson insisted that this interpretation of hockey \u2014 independent\nof all society's rules \u2014 must be accepted by the court for LaMerde to be\nfreed.\nWhen prosecuting attorneys raised\nBORING\nTIME, PLEASE\nFUCK YOU\nquestions about Cambell's sanity,\nLeagleson brought on a battery of\npsychiatrists to testify that the\npresident, considering his years, is \"fit\nas a fiddle upstairs\" according to a\nYork doctor.\nThe doctor agreed with Leagleson's\n, suggestion that Cambell has never been\nsubjected to \"brainwashing\" by the\nleague's national office and that he\nmade the comments in court \"under his\nown free will.\"\nLaMerde's parents said LaMerde\nwas holding up well, considering\neverything, yet one got the impression\nthat the son of a wealthy media man\nwas getting just a bit special treatment\nconsidering the color television in his\ncell, refrigerator-cooled beer, and a\nnightly menu with such delights as\npheasant under glass, coq au vin,\nchateau briand or crepe supreme (with\na delightful choice of red and white\nwines.) Other prisoners were said to be\njealous, especially when the food\nbouquet replaced the normally dank\nodaj: of the cells.\nIn his final summation to the jury,\nLeagleson cited the failure of past\nattempts by the courts \"to stick their\nfucking noses\" into the so-called\nviolence in the NHL. Wayne Waki, of\nthe St. Louis Blues and Ted Soleen, then\nwith the Boston Bruins, were acquitted\nin 1970 of assault charges brought\nagainst them in Ottawa after a brutal\nfight during a pre-season game Sept. 20,\n1969.\nThat fight, Leagleson told the jury,\nended with Spleen suffering a skull\nfracture that almost ended his playing\ncareer. Waki, not injured in the fight,\ndied four years later of a brain tumor.\nBruins forward Dave Forbes was\ncharged with aggravated assault, the\ncolorful lawyer who fingered Soviet\nfans in Moscow during the 1972 Team\nCanada tour said, after a fight with\nHenry Boucha, then with the Minnesota\nNorth Stars. After a nine-day trial, the\njury failed to reach a verdict and no\nappeal was launched.\nBoucha Underwent a series of eye\noperations and was still having trouble\nwith double vision at the beginning of\nthe season.\nOne other case is still before the\ncourts, Leagleson said, involving\nDetroit's Dan Maloney, charged with\nassault causing bodily harm for an\nattack on Maple Leafs' Brian Glennie in\nToronto last Nov. 5.\n\"If courts have rejected charges laid\nby ambitious, publicity-seeking\nprosecutors in these other cases, then\nthe men and women of this jury, in all\ngood conscious, must find my client,\nJean-Guy LaMerde, not guilt of murder\nin connection with the death of Tim\nMurphy,\" Leagleson said.\nIn charging the jury, Judge Gumby\nused a series of complicated hand\nsignals to review the evidence of the\ncase. While a seemingly absurd way to\nconduct business within the court, the\njury apparently understood the charge\nand filed out of the courtroom.\nLegal observers expected a long\ndeliberation by the jury, but no sooner\nhad the last juror walked out the door\nthan the foreman returned followed by\nthe others. Petitioned by the clerk of the\ncourt, each juror repeated: \"Not.\nguilty\" \u2014 the verdict was unanimous.\nOutside the court, Leagleson\ndisagreed with suggestions by some\nreporters that the NHL now has a\nlicense to kill. \"No, no not at all. That\nimplies we could do it whenever we\nwant. This ruling simply means that a\nfive-minute spearing penalty is a\nsufficient price to pay \u2014 even for an on-\nice death.\"\n10 THE CANADIAN BEAVER vs.\nRANDOLPH HUNTINGTON (1976) 69\nW.R.R.\nSupreme Court of B.C.\nFebruary 18, 1976.\nThe   judgment   of    the    Court    was\ndelivered by:\nGUNN, ROD: I have wrestled with\nmany hours of testimony and complicated philosophical questions in\ncoming to a decision in this case which\nstrikes at the very roots of Canadian\nsports hunting which, depending upon\nthe outcome of this case, could be in\njeopardy in the future. The case involves the Canadian beaver, hereafter\ncalled the plaintiff, petitioning for\ndamages after he was shot by Randolph\nHuntington,   hereafter   called   the\nV P&\n\u00ab.\u00ab\nP5\nX\nV\nf   \u25a0\n03\ndefendent, during a hunting expedition\nin the Kootenay Lake area on Dec. 12,\n1975.\nThe plaintiff (the huntee) claims to\nhave \"suffered agenesia (sexual impotence) from the injuries received\nfrom the gunshot wound from a .30-06\nrifle allegedly fired by the defendent\nwhile claiming he was hunting.\nLawyers for the plaintiff have argued\nthat because of his injuries, the plaintiff\nis unable to copulate (enabling him to\nhave children) with his wife.\nUnder normal circumstances, the\ncase of one member of society shooting\nat another's parts would be a criminal\nmatter of assault before the appropriate criminal courts, ultra vines\nof the civil sphere. However this case is\none of the plaintiff attempting to gain\ncompensation for an assault against\nhim allegedly executed by the defendent in such a manner, as claimed by\nthe plaintiff, that his collegium\nillicitum (rights were abused.) The\nplaintiff has argued that his home was\nin a dam on the lake en loco (in that\nplace) and that because of such\nsituation he was and is entitled to living\nthere without the outside violation of his\nrignts by a hunter, regardless of the\nlatter's motivations for said action.\nThe plaintiff is pursuing this case\nunder the rules of tort. A tort is a wrong\ncommitted by one member of society\nagainst another member of society. In\nthe case of Dewhurst vs. Lobodomie et\nal (1935) 7D.L.R. 766; Alberta Supreme\nCourt it was held that \"the fundamental .\nidea behind the law of torts is that there\nare certain rights enjoyed by an individual in society which the law will\nprotect.\" There have been no more\nsenior dissenting views on this opinion ,\nso, for the purposes of this case, I hold it\nto be the governing principle by which I\nmay interpret and decide of the merits\nof the plaintiff's case.\nThe fundamental problem in law, as I\nsee it, is to ascertain whether the\nCanadian beaver is, in fact, \"an individual in society\" as the principle\nholds he must for the laws of torts to\napply to his suit for damages against\nthe hunter.\nHistorically, the beaver has given his\nsweat and skin and fur for the economic\ndevelopment of Canada which, it could\nbe argued, is more than can be said for\nthe greedy, money-grubbing merchants\nwho made exhorbitant profits off the\nbeaver's skin. What contributions have\nmany Canadians made that could rival\nthe beaver building dams in water,\nfathering children, swimming daily for\nfood, constantly using teeth for construction yet seldom seeing the dentist.\nThe Canadian beaver is the essence of\nhard work, yet through the days of this\nEXHIBIT A: THE DISLODGED MEMBERS\nCANADIAN BEAVER WINS\nSUIT AGAINST HUNTER\nBUT BALLS STILL GONE\nby RODD GUNN\nhearing it was evident, as the defendent\ncontended repeatedly, that the beaver\nshould not be considered an \"individual\nin society,\" that title being reserved\nexclusively for human beings.\nI have done extensive casework on\nthis question of the \"individual in\nsociety\" as it pertains to the animals\nfinding nothing referring to the\nCanadian beaver, per se. In the case of\nthe Irish Setter vs. Purex Dog Food\nCorp. 11968] 83 W.W.R. 453 in the B.C.\nCourt of Appeal it was held by my\nbrother Judge J. J. Francis that: \"the\nplaintiff, being an animal, did not have\nthe inalienable rights within society to\nsue a person, board of directors or\ncorporation for food poisoning, from\nwhich he ultimately recovered but was\nparalyzed.\" In his reasons, the\nhonourable trial judge rules that the\ndog, being of Irish abstraction, did not\nhave the qualifications to be a member\nof Canadian society.\nIn other legal research I have done,\nthere have been no other cases of an\nanimal suing someone else, and in the\ncase cited the reason against was\nunrelated to the question of \"the individual in society\" which satisfies the\n\u25a0--.\u25a0\u00ab...\u25a0Jjg4isaVaW   W.'...\u00bbiiV^-.SA.'>.   .\n\u2022V-\nK.\/'-^'^J^Cr?\nCANADIAN BEAVER POINTS TO DEFENDANT IN ARTIST RE-CREATION\nlaw of tort. Hence, after much legal\nconsideration, studying of history, and\nconversations with representatives\nfrom the Canadian beaver community,\nI now rule that this animal, being duly\nborn and raised in Canada, and having\ncontributed much to the social\ndevelopment of this country, is indeed a\nmember of the total Canadian society\nand as such is open and entitled to sue\nin the civil courts. I therefore reject the\ndefendent's first line of defence which\nwas that this action constitutes an\nillegal suit because the plaintiff himself\nis in no way covered by the fundamental idea behind the principle of\ntorts.\nA contrario sensu (on the other hand)\nand a fortiori (with stronger reason) I\nmust reject the second line of alternate\ndefence which was that the firing of the\ngun was an unintentional, hypothetical\naccident occurring by chance, out of the\nblue, on Dec. 12, 1975. This is simply not\na prima facie (first rate) excuse and I\nhave trouble believing that the\ndefendent was just walking by the\nCanadian beaver's home and happened\nto point his rifle, equipped with a\ntelescopic lens, into the beaver's\ntesticles and blow them off. I therefore\nreject the second line of defence, out of\nhand.\nIn reviewing the evidence before me I\nrecall the testimony of Dr. B. J.\nThomas who has duly examined and\nsatisfied me that the plaintiff is incapable of reproducing sperm\nnecessary during carnal copulation for\nthe production of little beavers. I acceded to a defence request for a de\nventre inspiciendo (a writ to inspect a\nwoman to see if she is pregnant) with\nthe appropriate additions covering a\nfemale beaver, since the defendent felt\nthat successful insemination had been\nachieved since the alleged shooting\nincident. The inspection proved\nnegative.\nThe court has been satisfied that the\nfructus (the organic production 'of a\nthing) is no longer functioning in the\nplaintiff, through no fault of his own.\nWhile jus belli (the laws of war) may\npossibly exempt the shooter from any\nguilt in such a vile discharge of artillery, the jus naturo (the laws of\nnature) carry more weight in my mind\nin this matter and thus cast the burden\nof guilt on the defendent.\nIt is in dealing with the defendents\nthird alternate argument that I find\nmyself most hardpressed to make a\njudgment, ipso factor, non sequitor,\ntuum est or otherwise. The argument\nsubmits that the shooting of the\nplaintiff's testicles is hardly a civil\nmatter but instead part of the laws of\nsport hunting based on the \"survival of\nthe fittest.\" To agree with this con-\nHUNTER   HUNTINGTON\nHELPLESS ANIMAL\ntention is, in the legal sense, to condone\nthe killing of one animal by a bigger,\nstronger animal yet we must keep in\nmind that equity sequitur legem\n(equity follows the law). If indeed the\nlaw is equal for all who live under it,\nwhether it be high in the mountains or\non the litus maris (seashore) equal\ntreatment for all must prevail. The\nbeaver, as \"an individual in society\" as\nI have held, should have the same\nprotection as anyone else in that society\nregardless of whether the motivation\nfor an attack is so-called \"hunting\" or\narmed revolution of the political\nproletariat. Society deserves protection\nfrom itself.\nTherefore, frustra agit qui judicium\nprosequi nequit cum effectu (he sues to\nno purpose who cannot have the fruits\nof his judgment). I hereby award the\nplaintiff all hospital costs incurred for\nhis full recovery plus additional\ncompensation for his inability to have\nchildren of $100,000 payable by the\ndefendent.\nFurthermore, res accendent lumina\nrebus (one thing throws light upon\nothers). The ramifications of the\njudgment are serious to all those who\npurport to hunt in this country. Let this\nserve as a warning to all \u2014 if you\nmurder and pillage the lives of\nCanadian animals.who contribute much\nto our society, then you could be liable\nfor claims in the court of torts.\nI find for the plaintiff, the Canadian\nbeaver.\nON  ANOTHER Thursday,  April   1,   1976\nTHE      UBYSSEY\nPage 17\nStatus quo stays, apathy reigns\nFrom page 3\nKenny set up a committee to\nequalize women faculty wages\nwith men and set aside $100,000 for\nit. So far, no results.\nIn February, Kenny promised to\nestablish a number of committees\nto look at sex discrimination on\ncampus. An ad, hoc committee of\nUBC women had previously asked\nKenny to set up a task force to fight\ndiscrimination.\nThe recommendation was\nignored and so far, the committees\nare still not operating.\nIn the past two months, Kenny\nhas made a series of speeches\ndefending the status quo at UBC,\nparticularly high wages for\nfaculty, which came under attack\nfrom the downtown press.\nTwo other issues surfaced: the\n\"literacy crisis\" and student representation on tenure and\npromotion committees.\nFor the second year in a row, 40\nper cent of English 100 students\ntaking a simple skills exam failed.\nFor the second year in a row,\nacademics and politicians debated\nthe issued blaming different\n- segments of the educational\nsystem but not making a firm\ndecision.\nThe remedial workshops\nprescribed by senate to help\nstudents deemed to have\ninadequate literacy smlls were\nswamped with too many students.\nThe administration and faculty\nmaintained its perennial opposition to student representation\nof tenure and promotion committees.\nBut student senators Gordon\nFunt and Ron Walls finally passed\ntwo mild, watered-down motions\nthrough senate after months of\nwork. One motion asks the board of\ngovernors to set up a committee to\nlook at tenure. The second\nestablishes a senate committee to\n\u2022 examine teaching quality, which\nmany students believe is neglected\nin tenure decisions.\nThe senate and the board continued to be ineffective as they\nrefused as usual to rock the boat.\nStudents didn't help change things,\neither.\nIn January elections for board\nand senate reps, a massive block of\ngears put fellow gears Rick\nMurray and Basil Peters on the\nboard to represent students*\nMurray, who did little during his\nrir-t term on the board, decided he\nwill leave campns at the end of this\nterm. He hinted that he may\nremain on the board until next\nJanuary.\nThe student senators elected this\nyear, with the exception of Funt,\nand possibly a few others, are\nunlikely to stir senate into action.\nThe direction of the provincial\ngovernment changed dramatically\nwhen the Socreds displaced the\nNDP, thanks to a coalescing of\n\"free enterprise\" votes and\nnumerous NDP blunders.\nWhile in office, Dailly decided to\nmake Notre Dame University in\nNelson part of a proposed fourth\nB.C. public university. Before the\nelection campaign began, Dailly\nhad decided to close down the\nuniversity.\nHer successor, McGeer, waffled\non several alternatives for the 25-\nyear-old     university,     finally\ni     promising to allow it to run next\n-)    year under a sharply curtailed and\nas yet unclear program.\nThe only clear result of this yearlong battle is that NDU students\nand the people of Nelson are\nconfused, fearful and angry.\nThe problem is currently\n, bouncing around between McGeer,\nthe Universities Council, which\nallocates money to B.C.'s\nuniversities, and deputy education\nminister Walter Hardwick.\nHardwick, a UBC geography\nprof and former Vancouver\nalderman, suggested while a\nconsultant to Armstrong last\nsummer that NDU be closed. After\nthe   Socred   sweep,   Hardwick\ngained his powerful post in the\neducation department.\nDailly also established a 15 per\ncent spending increase ceiling on\ncommunity colleges and universities. Community college\nstudents, upset by the cutbacks,\nand by mismanagement of funds\nallocations, protested in strikes\nand marches last fall.\nMcGeer fired members of the\nboards of governors of UBC and\nseveral community colleges with\nlittle protest. At UBC, McGeer\nfired Clive Lytle, a B.C. Federation\nof Labor executive member, as\nwell as architect Bing Thom\nmidway through their terms.\nMcGeer's actions as the ICBC\npresident had more immediate\neffects on students. New auto insurance rates introduced by the\nbudget-balance conscious Socreds\ndiscriminated against under-25\ndrivers, who faced rate increases\nexceeding 300 per cent.\nAfter loud complaints, \"rnost\nstudents submitted and paid the\nnew rates. Many were compelled\nto take McGeer's advice, however:\n\"If you can afford a car, you can\nafford insurance for it. If you can't\nafford insurance for it, sell it.\"\nBut McGeer, who is on leave next\nyear from the UBC neurology\ndepartment of which he is head,\nmanaged to scrape together $50\nmillion for a new hospital at UBC\nwhich will double the size of UBC's\ntroubled medical school.\nWhile in office, the NDP moved\nto establish a large park and\necological reserve in the\nUniversity Endowment Lands. The\nNDP also stopped a proposed\nluxury development in the UEL\nwhich would have displaced 179\nlow- and middle-income residents.\nBut like so many other things,\nboth decisions are under review by\nthe Socreds.\nA provincial government\nsummer employment program\nwas almost scuttled by Socred\nbudget cutbacks. But the program\nwas saved, in a reduced form after\na mild outcfy from students, who\nface a bleak job outlook this\nsummer.\nIn student politics, the Student\nUnity slate elected under Jake van\nder Kamp left a lasting legacy to\nthe AMS \u2014 a new constitution,\nwhich came into effect in March.\nhair studio inc.\nUNISEX HAIRSTYLES\nFOR APPOINTMENT\n224-1922\n5784 University (Next to Bank of Commerce)\nUnder the new constitution, the\nadministrative functions of the\nAMS have been handed to a council\nof appointed students, the student\nadministrative council. In the\nstudent representative assembly,\nstudent board and senate members\nwill sit with undergraduate society\nreps to debate political questions.\nThe old student council, which\nwas replaced by the commission\nand assembly, proved its ineffectiveness over the past year.\nCouncil members rarely managed\nto agree on anything.\nStudents failed to pass & $3 AMS\nfee increase referendum and\nreferenda on $1 fee levies for the\nNational Union of Students and the\nB.C. Student Federation failed for\nlack of quorum and lack of the\nrequired two-thirds majority vote.\nWhile the effectiveness of NUS is\nopen to serious question, the BCSF\nhas shown itself to be a reasonably\neffective lobbying group with ihe-\nprovincial government. But both\ngroups still leave much to be\ndesired.\nThis year, UBC students were\ngiven more opportunities than ever\nbefore to influence events around\nthem.\nStudent apathy has killed any\nchance of effective representation\non the board and senate.\nWhen AUCE members were\nforced to strike, students ignored\nthem. When ICBC insurance rates\nwere hiked, having an immediate\nand dramatic impact on students,\nstudents paid after less-than-\nresounding protests.\nNext year will also be a year of\nchange. But as far as students go,\nchange is a spectator sport.\nY3UC2NHEIP!\nHABTCKT\nVISTICRSMEED\nHOUSING\nMay 31 to June 11, the United Nations Habitat\nConference will take place in Vancouver.\nSeveral thousand delegates from some 140\ncountries will be here to help solve problems\nlike shelter, water supply and transportation for \u25a0\nthe peoples of the world.\nThe delegates themselves have places to stay\nwhile they are in Canada; that isn't the\nproblem.\nHowever, many other visitors, professionals,\nbusiness people and ordinary citizens will be\nattending the parallel Habitat Forum\nConference (May 27-June 11) and will need\naccommodation.\nIf you have a spare bedroom, fold-away couch,\nspace for a sleeping bag, or backyard space\nfor a camper, recreational vehicle or tent,\nplease call us today.\nWe have a computer to speed operations .and\nhelp match guests and hosts with common\ninterests. We've also established rental rates to.\nhelp compensate you.\nPlease call us today. Thank you.\nHABtTKT HOUSING\n3396 West Broadway, Vancouver\n732-1191\nIvMKETOURHOMEA\nWELCOME HOME FOR HABTEKT ruyc\ninursaay,   April    i,   iy\/o\nPage Thursday\nHumans humiliated\nBy MARGRETT GEORGE\nThe recent staging of W. 0.\nMitchell's Back to Beulah by the\nNew Company, was basically a\nproduction of high calibre.\nAlthough in certain parts the\nperformance sometimes did little\njustice to Mitchell's excellent\nscript, in others it came close to\noutstanding.\nBack to Beulah\nstaged by the New Company\ndirected by Bob Baker\nwritten by W. O. Mitchell\n\"A parable of hope for the\nhopeless\" describes the experimental halfway house that sets\nthe scene for Back to Beulah. The\nplay follows the development of a\nmacabre twist in the relationship\nbetween the four women who occupy the house. Three of the\nboarders, Harriet, Betty and\nAgnes, are former patients of\nBeulah, a provincial mental\nasylum. They have been\nrehabilitated to the point of\nescaping Beulah and are consequently selected as participants\nfor psychiatrist Margaret Anders'\nexperiment \u2014 to prove a halfway\nhouse is the perfect setting for the\n\"perfect rehabilitation.\" It is\nduring Dr. Anders constant efforts\nto explain reality to the women\n(\"What is \u2014 is, and what isn't \u2014\nisn't\") that the role-reversal takes\nplace.\nA plastic doll, which has been\nadopted by the three as a live child,\nignites the argument. Dr. Anders is\nshocked to discover that they do\nnot comprehend that the doll is an\ninanimate object and immediately\nattempts to impose reality upon\nthem.\nHarriet, an omniscient\nmatriarchal figure to Agnes and\nBetty, refuses to allow their dream\nto be shattered, and incites the\nother two to rebel. A struggle\noccurs and the women suddenly\nfind themselves in physical control\nof Dr. Anders. She is bound,\ngagged and hidden, and inquiries\nas to her whereabouts are laid to\nrest with a fabricated story.\nThe women, distressed by what\nthey interpret as the doctor's\nobvious inability to correctly\ndiscern reality, improvise an office\ninto which the doctor is led. The\nthree women consider her case,\nand she finds herself subject to an\noverwhelming barrage of clinical\nand psychiatric cliches, all of\nwhich have obviously been used at\nsome time by doctors examining\nHarriet, Agnes and Betty.\nAt this stage the play becomes\nalmost a comedy as a result of the\nwomen's candid use of professional\nterminology. Their object is to\n\"help the patient help herself\" as,\nbeing drugged she has troubles\nverbalizing. However, the scene\nloses its humor as it builds to an\ninterrogation, and climbs to a\nterrifying climax when the three\nwomen, at Harriet's command,\nforce Anders to breast feed the\nplastic doll.\nThe character portrayals by the\nmembers of the New Company are\nacceptable throughout, although\nthe final scenes excel as the energy\nlevel builds.\nKate McDonald, as Margaret\nAnders, is a good choice for the\npart of the idealistic doctor.\nAlthough her beginning lines are\ndelivered with more automation\nthan spontaneity, making them\nsound too well rehearsed, as the\nplay progresses she settles comfortably into character. Set up by\nher three patients as a scapegoat\nfor psychiatrists and any others\nwho dare claim normality, she\nconvincingly plays a victimized\nwoman, stripped of professional\nstatus and at the complete mercy\nof three highly emotional and\nunbalanced women.\nHeather Brechin's portrait of\nHarriet attains and maintains a\nconstant high level of energy. As\nan unbalanced psychotic, she\nterrorizes Agnes and Betty with\nthreats and taunts, ruling over\ntheir minds and lives with an iron\nfist. As the instigator of the capture\nof Dr. Anders, Brechin performs\nwith perfect timing, never overplaying,   but   using   subtlety   to\nOoops!\nROSIE ...sorry for last\nweek's picture fugg up, but Fat\nIrving looked so effemeral!\nHELP YOURSELF\nTO HIGHER GRADES\nLARGEST SELECTION IN B.C. OF\n* COLES NOTES\n100 Titles\n* MONARCH NOTES\n300 Titles\n*SCHAUMS OUTLINES\n60 Titles\n* COLLEGE NOTES\n50 titles\nAll available from\nBETTER BUYJ\t\n\u25a0Vancouver. B.p '\n4393 W. 10th Ave.\ncomplete the picture of a very\ndangerous woman.\nNicola Cavendish and Diana\nBelshaw, as Agnes and Betty\nrespectively, are fair, although at\ntimes both tend to overplay their\nparts. An action that was intended\nto be amusing, lost some of its\nhumor through Cavendish stepping\nout of character to acknowledge\nthe laughter by overemphasizing\nthe action.\nAny failure in the play that does\noccur is due to the misinterpretation and poor acting, rather than\nscript. Director Bob Barker has\ndeliberately made scenes that\nshould not be amusing, comical, so\nthat much of the impact is lost. The\nterror implicit in the innocent lines\nmust be searched for.\nIn Back to Beulah, Mitchell has\nrevealed with painful accuracy the\ntendency for any accepted\nmember of society to adopt an\nattitude of personal superiority\ntoward those not accepted because\nthey may not conform to society's\nimage of normalcy. They are\ntreated with condescension,\npatronization, dislike and even\nhatred. This embarrassing truth is\nclearly shown through Dr. Anders'\nposition toward the other women\nand, even more effectively, after\nthe role reversal occurs.\nEach member of the audience,\nhaving naturally identified with\nthe only acceptable character in\nthe play, Dr. Anders, is forced to\nexperience the humiliation of being\ntreated as something less than\nhuman.\nOUT-FITTERS FOR  THE FREE SPIRITS 1 Thursday,  April   1,   1976\nTHE      UBYSSEY\nPage 19\npage thurs day\nConn's poems harbor real light\nBy TED COLLINS\nThis city has engendered a lot\nof poetry. We have many poets,\ngood and.bad, from all walks and\nstations, from postman, to night\nwatchman, to toilet seat salesman,\nto telephone operator. The poems\nHarbour Light by David Conn\nfrom Fiddlehead Poetry Books\n24 pages\nare of many varieties: beach\npoems, gutter poems, love poems,\nbeer poems, mountain poems,\nenigmatic poems \u2014 pick a number\nand wait your turn. Something is\nlacking though. I would say there is\na shortage in this city of poetry\nwith a local signature, poetry that\nreveals Vancouver in its social and\nhistorial context.\nDavid Conn is a poet presently\nworking in a Vancouver shipyard.\nHe has published a chapbook of\npoems with the Fiddlehead Poetry\nBooks Press called Harbour Light.\nVancouver is a harbour city \u2014 a\nfact that might be difficult to\ndiscover from its literature \u2014 and\nConn has written a cycle of poems\nabout the harbour. He has done it\nwell and opened up a view of the\ncity that is seldom seen by those of\nus whose knowledge of the sea is\nconfined to ferryboat rides.\nConn's words move in understated rhythms, past rusting\nsteel hulls and shipwrights who\nhave outlasted their wooden\ncreations, past cranes, spars, and\nwelders with torches. His words\ndelve into the roots of the city and\nunearth survivors, working men\nBond frustrates\nBy DAVID CONN\nIs Masters and Johnson's latest\nbestseller really necessary? Their\nfirst two tomes made them\nrecognised experts in the field of\nhuman sexuality (and lack of the\nsame), and made the public aware\nof the benefits of sex research. The\nPleasure Bond attempts to extend\nMasters and Johnson's authority\nwell beyond the laboratory. It\ncould be subtitled The M & J\nPhilosophy.\nThe Pleasure Bond\nby William H. Masters\n& Virginia E. Johnson\nBantam Books, New York\n1976, 285 pages, $1.98\nThe core of this book is a series of\nsymposia with small groups of\nmarried couples to which the'\nauthors add their comment and\ncase study material. The symposia\nare all three to six years old and\nsome read suspiciously like padding. The first chapter, a\ndiscussion with recently married\nyoung couples, has the participants\nserving as breathless foils for the\nexperts' advice and lovelore.\nThe book deals almost entirely\nwith married and cohabiting\ncouples because we are told that\nthey are the vast majority and will\ncontinue to be. Couples are advised\nfrequently to communicate their\ntrue feelings to each other, to put\nsex problems in the context of their\nlife and other rather eommonsense\ntidbits.\nYet to be fair, there are also\nsome helpful ideas. Masters and\nJohnson both feel that the ongoing\nliberation of women as sexual\nequals takes some of the performance pressure off men yet\nstate that improved technique\nalone won't help unsatisfactory\nsex.\nOne sex symposium does consist\nof swinging couples. Here certain\nstatements of the participants are\nheld up to be unauthentic in interpretive 'comments' inserted later\nby the authors. No encouragement\nis given these couples struggling to\nevolve innovative new lifestyles\nand to deal with 'natural' feelings,\nlike jealousy and insecurity in\nunconventional ways. Are these\nincluded merely to prove a point?\nFor the only follow-up report in the\nbook reveals that the couples\ngenerally cut down on their\nswinging within a year. Point\ntaken. Swinging can be a transitional phase in a rrjarriage.\nExtramarital sex also gets short\nshrift from M & J. The authors see\nit as destructive to most marriages\nand as a revelation of some basic\nmarital problem. Only one participant in the extramarital\nsymposium is said to have a\nconstructive attitude about her\naffairs. Others' positive\nstatements are dismissed as\nsimple rationalization.\nThe Pleasure Bond has some\ninteresting sidelights, such as a\nchapter on why women fake\norgasm. Still over-all, the pompous\nmanner and lack of variety in sex\ninformation or insight make The\nPleasure Bond unworthy of your\ntwo bucks.\nSEAN\nAUDREY\nCONNERY   HEPBURN\n\"ROBIN\nAND MARIAN'\nSHOW TIMES: 12:40, 2:50,\n5:05, 7:15. 9:30\nMATURE\nOccasional\nViolence\n-R.W.Mcdonald\nVogue\n91B   vHANVILLC\n615-3434\nROBERT DE NIRO\nTAXI DRIVER\na MARTIN SCORSFSE him\nSHOW TIMES:  12:00, 2:00, 3:55, 5:50,\n7:55. 10:00\nVery Brutal\nViolence\nOdeon\n881   GRANVILU\n082-7468\n7:30, 9:40\nROBERT DENIRO\nTAXI DRIVER <S^\nVery brutal violence,\ncoarse language\nthroughout..\na MARTIN SCORSESE Film\nPark\nCAMBIE at   )8th\n876-2747\nMAHCFX GAH\"! N V,\nmi\"! v% Ia mmm:: <mm?\n\u2022\u25a0iJm\\ yy y\\y- .\u25a0{,:\u25a0 ^y-.\n\u25a0Ui\nOne complete\nshow 8 p.m.\nIN\nFRENCH -\nENGLISH\nSUBTITLES\nDunbar\n224-7292\nDUNBAR .1 10th\n'Glenda as Hedda\n\"Based on her performance, there is no doubt  IA*\u00ab\/\/jiI\nMs. Jackson will be up for an Oscar.\" - \u00bb\u00abT^f'\"I\nSHOWTIMES: 7:30, 9:30 4375 W. 10th\nwith history in their blunt hands\nand in their memories. He gives\nthe harbour a sense of myth, of\nthings half-recalled, like the aftertaste of vivid dreams, yet he never\nmoves too far from the present\nreality which is his subject.\nHis poetry is quite readable,\nbeing light on obscure personal\nimagery. I am myself not of the\nschool that believes only what is\ncryptic and difficult is literature. I\nleave that to crossword buffs and\ncryptographers. David Conn does\nhave mysteries in his poetry, but\neven that which is left unexplained\nis startling in its clarity, conveying\nan intuition of what is meant.\nIn his poem The Glass Wind, he\nwrites:\nA glass wind breaks over\nthe foredeck. Shards fell\nfrom   my  eyes   and  smash   on\nplates.\nA phantom, immense, invisible,\nstalks the strait, leans on me\nwith all its brittle breath.\nIf this is just a cold wind that he\ndescribes, then what of the falling\nshards? This is a vivid image and it\nworks      not      logically      but\nmetaphorically.   It   conveys   the\nmeaning, it communicates, which\nis  something  many  poets  have\nforgotten the importance of in their\nwriting. This is the attitude \u2014 this\nlove   of   obscurity   \u2014   that   has\nsurrendered literature to the dusty\nhands of dry academics.\nThough he works in a shipyard,\nDavid Conn is not himself strictly\nproletarian \u2014 he has a degree in\nsociology from UBC. Yet he conveys a strong sense of the men that\nwork around him, the way they\nwalk, move, think, and how they go\nabout their tasks. He succeeds in\ncommunicating the multiplicity of\ntheir personalities, and neatly\nsidesteps the common pitfall of\nromanticizing or stereotyping\nthem.\nWhen working in the Vancouver\nshipyard, Conn clearly was\ntouched by the vitality of what he\nsaw around him and felt the need to\nrecordhis impressions. His work is\nimportant, in my mind, because he\nhas given us an aspect of the city\nwhich might have been lost to us if\nleft     to     more     conventional\nhistorians. His work, Harbour\nLight, is worth looking into for its\nliterary merits also, but its\nsignificance is all the greater for\nbeing relevant as much to people\nand history as to art.\nMARINE\nHAIRSTYUNG\nFOR MEN\nSALON\nHelene 'and Jacquie fonnerlv of V.li.C. village wish lo inrilv our many \/nends from\nU.B.C. lo our new hairstyliiif' salon in the Marine Building corner of liurrard unci\nHastings.   Why not drop in the next tunc you are downtown ar call for an appointment.\nMARINE HAIRSTYLING\n355 A BURRARD (MARINE BLDG.) 688-921\nMonday    Friday - 9:00    5:30\nCOMMITTEE APPLICATIONS\n- AMS\nNominations are now being received for the following\ncommittees:\nUBC Presidential Committees       AMS Committees\nStudent Housing\nExternal Affairs\nTeaching and Academic Standards\nPlanning & Co-Ordinating Committee, Library Processing Centre,\nSafety, Security and Fire Prevention\nCharitable Donations\nWar Memorial Trust Advisory\nWomen's Athletic Club\nMen's Athletic Club\nMaster Teachers\nBookstore\nFood Services\nTraffic and Parking\nWinter Sports Centre\nNominations for the above committees will close at 4:00 p.m. on Friday,\nApril 9, 1976. Please leave your name and a very brief resume including\nwhich committee you are applying for, in SUB 250.\nELLEN PAUL\nSecretary-Treasurer\nX\nThe Original\nHand Crafted\nma\nBoots\nAvailable in Mens and Womens and a variety of\ncolours. From $70 - $85.\n\"FRYE\"   and   \"SHEPPARDS\" synonymous\nwith footwear excellence.\n516 W. HASTINGS     770GRANVILLE\nMens and Womens Mens Only\nCHARqEX - MASTER CHARGE - AMEX Page 20\nTHE      UBYSSEY\nThursday,   April   1,   1976\nEx-Socred,   zoology  prof\nMaster teachers named\nThe master teacher award, the\nannual prize given to the\nprofessor(s) considered the most\noutstanding has been won by Ralph\nLoffmark and Geoffrey Scudder.\nThe recipients of the award are\nchosen by a committee made up of\nfaculty, students, board of\ngovernors members and alumni\nassociation members.\nLoffmark, a commerce prof, has\nbeen faculty member since 1954.\nHe holds a law degree from\nToronto's   Osgoode   Hall   and\nSCUDDER . . . zoology\nteaches commercial law and a\ncourse in government regulation in\nbusiness. He was a Social Credit\nMLA in the W. A. C. Bennett administration.\nScudder, a zoology prof, joined\nthe UBC faculty in 1958. He was\neducated at Oxford University and\nhis research speciality is entomology, the study of insects. He\nteaches courses in the comparative\nanatomy of vertebrates as well as\nentomology to undergraduate and\ngraduate students.\nLoffmark and Scudder will share\nthe $5,000 prize which accompanies\nthe award, established in 1969 by\nWalter Koerner.\nFour other UBC professors have\nreceived certificates of merit for\ntheir teaching ability. They are\nNoel Nathan, associate\nengineering prof, Charles\nSlonecker, associate anatomy prof,\nAndrew Parkin, assistant\nengineering prof, and Lewis\nRobinson, geography prof.\nThe four will receive $500 each in\naddition to the certificate of merit.\nThis year's winners were chosen\nfrom a group of 30 nominees.\nMembers of the screening committee made their selections after\nvisiting lectures given by the\nnominees and judging their ability.\nDepartment heads and deans\nalso size up each nominee and give\ntheir assessment to the screening\ncommittee.\nLet's talk\nabout your career in\nBranch\nManagement\nCANADA'S FIRST BANK\nBANK OF MONTREAL\nIS HOSTING AN\nOpen House\nWednesday, April 7, 1976, 6:00-9:00 p.m.\nHighlighted by a Presentation at 6:30 p.m.\nTo discuss career opportunities with individuals seeking careers in\nBranch Management.\nOur well known and successful training programmes range from 3\nmonths to 24 months. We prefer career oriented applicants with\none to six years' experience with financial institutions. We are\nalso interested in applicants with a minimum of Gradp^.I^t;.\neducation and preferably one to three years' post-secohd'ary\neducation.\nWe  offer job  satisfaction   and  a wide variety of promotional\nopportunities in a modern management environment. We offer\ngood   starting   salaries   and   excellent   comprehensive  employee\nbenefits. Positions will be throughout British Columbia.\nHave a coffee and let's talk about your future.\nBank of Montreal\nFirst Bank Tower\n595 Burrard Street\n20th Floor\nVancouver, B.C.\nThe First Canadian Bank\nBank of Montreal\nCALENDAR\nOF COMING EVENTS\nMarch 31-April 4 \u2014 Cecil Taylor Quintet\nApril 5, 6 & 7\u2014Charles Mingus Quintet\nApril 9 & 10 - Alexis\nApril 12, 13, 14 \u2014 David Liebman\nApril 19, 21 - The Meters\nMay 5, 6, 7, & 8 \u2014   Martha Reves\nMay 10-15 - Freddie Hubbard\nMay 17-19 - Gil Scott-Heron\nMay 24-26 - B. B. King\nAdvance tickets now on sale!\nOIL CAN HARRY'S\n752 Thurlow\nReservations 683-7306\nLOFFMARK\ncommerce\n---\"\"**- -\nMOVING OUT\nFinal Clearance\nMoving Out Sale Permit No 44 360F\nBelow are just a partial stock list and examples of name brand stereo equipment that have to be cleared out.\nTremendous savings on PIONEER, MARANTZ, SHERWOOD, YAMAHA, EPI, AR, BOSE, INFINITY,\nOHM, ESS, DUAL, THORENS, KOSS, BGW, PHASE LINEAR AND MORE! Most units available are new\nand in factory sealed cartons. Some are demos, and a few are trades. Full manufacturer warranties\napplicable on new and demo equipment. Hurry for best selection. Due to the anticipated volume of\nbusiness, we shall not be able to handle phone orders. Sorry, no dealers please.\n_      SAVE 10, 20, UP TO 50% ! ! !\nLOUDSPEAKERS\n*\u00ab\u00ab\u2022\u2022*\nAR 7\nEPI 100V\nStudiocraft by Bose Model 330\nAR 4xa\nEPI 201A\nStudiocraft by Bose Model 440\nAR 2ax\nEPI 250\nMarantz 5G\nAR MST\nEPI 350\nOhmF\nAR 5\nInfinity POSH\nOhmB*\nAR 3a improved\nInfinity Column\nOhmC\nAR LST\nInfinity Monitor Junior\nOhm D\nInfinity Monitor II\nOhmE\nRECEIVERS, AM\/FM TUNERS, AMPLIFIERS\nPioneer\nPioneer\nPioneer\nPioneer\nPioneer\nPioneer\nPioneer\nPioneer\nSX-434 receiver\nSX-535 receiver\nSX-636 receiver\nSX-737 receiver\nSA-6500 amplifier\nSA 8500 amplifier\nSA-9500 amplifier\nTX-7500 tuner\nSherwood\nSherwood\nSherwood\nSherwood\nSherwood\nSherwood\nSherwood\nSherwood\nS-7010 receiver\nS-7110 receiver\nS-7210 receiver\nS 7310 receiver\nS-8900A receiver\nS-7900A receiver\nSEL-400 amplifer\nS-2400 tuner\nMarantz 3200 pre-amp.\nMarantz 140 power amp.\nEpicure Model 1 power amp.]\nPhase Linear 2000 pre-amp. j\nCM Labs Ft 805 receiver\nBGW 1000 power amp.\nBGW 500D power amp.\n~J   \\3\nn ^\nTURNTABLES\nV\nTURNTABLES\nDual 122S\nDual 1226\nDual 1228\nPioneer PL-12DII\nPioneer PL-15R\nPioneer PL-S5X\nFons CQ-30\nAriston RD II\nB & O Beogram 3000'\nALSO: PIONEER CTF 2121 DOLBY Cassette deck\nCUSTOMER PARKING AT REAR\n1034 Davie St. (near Burrard) 681-8188 Thursday,  April   1,   1976\nTHE      UBYSSEY\nPage 21\nForestry jobs now scarce\nFrom page 2\n\"There are a number of temporary summer positions open\nwith options for permanent work in\nthe fall, but with the economic\nslowdown the companies aren't\nmaking many offers,\" he says.\nMacDonald said he wouldn't\nwant to put anyone off entering\nforestry because jobs are scarce at\nthis time.\n\"Forestry is a cyclical thing with\nups and downs. I wouldn't want to\npredict what might be happening\nfour years in the future,\" he said.\nOf the 46 forestry grads last\nyear, 83.7 per cent were available\nfor employment and all found\nwork. Approximately 11 per cent\nwent on to graduate studies.\nAccording to the student services\nreport, almost 90 per cent of\neducation    graduates    seeking\nemployment received full-time\nteaching positions in 1975.\nBut Ann Dahl, of the B.C.\nTeachers Federation, says employment opportunities for\nteaching graduates this year will\ndepend on how much money the\nprovincial government will put into\neducation.\n\"It will be very much easier to\npredict after we know how much\nmoney is going to be spent. But if\n(education minister Pat) McGeer\nis speaking of a 10 per cent cutback\nis going to mean teachers will have\nto be much more mobile and be\nprepared to leave the Lower\nMainland,\" she says.\n(The provincial government\nbudget released Friday provided\nfor an 11 per cent over-all increase\nin education spending.)\nAbout 70 per cent of commerce\ngrads will secure employment in\n1976, according to Allan Ec-\nclestone, employment rep of the\ncommerce undergraduate society.\nThis estimate is down five per\ncent from 1975, when 75 per cent of\ncommerce grads found work after\ngraduation.\n\"It'll probably be a little rougher\nthis year than last year,\" Ec-\nclestone says, \"the demand hasn't\nchanged but the supply has.\"\nHe says there will be 225 commerce grads this year compared to\n175 in 1975. He estimates next\nyear's class to number more than\n300 students.\n\"Obviously, if the job market\ndoesn't increase drastically people\nare going to be out of jobs,\" he\nsays.\nThen why go into commerce?\n\"It's really just a ticket for where\nyou want to go,\" he replies.\nCELEBRATE\nThe 3,288th anniversary of the Exodus from Egypt.\nChabad Lubavitch will be providing a free seder for Jewish college\nstudents on the 1st two days of Passover, April 14 and April 15,\n8:00 p.m. Space limited \u2014 please call in advance Rabbi Weinberg,\n738-1328.\nCLIP THIS\nCome on down and\n84VC LIKE CRAZY\nAt one location only\n540 Granville Mall\nONE DOLLAR DAYS\nTHIS \"ONE\" ENTITLES THE BEARER TO A FURTHER REDUCTION OF\n$1.00 OFF KELLY'S EVERYDAY LOW PRICES ON OUR\nn\nENTIRE INVENTORY OF THESE GREAT LABELS. ARTISTS LIKE McCARTNEY,\nFREDDIE FENDER, DAVID BOWIE, SWEET,   BEE GEES, NEIL SEDAKA ETC.\nOFFER ENDS AJ\u00bbRtL &th\u201e 76. THIS QFFEB DOES WOT APPLY TO OUR ADVERTISED SPECIALS.\nKelly's\nStereo\nMarts\nONE LOCATION ONLY\n540 GRANVILLE MALL Page 22\nTHE       UBYSSEY\nThursday,  April   1,   1976\nHi\nHot flashes\nCreative\nwriters!\nFor all of you examophobic\nstudents who long to stop writing\nessays and to get on with the\nmore artsy fartsy aspects of\ncreative writing we bring you a\nworkshop!\nWorkshop? Yes, the Creative\nWriters' Exchange is meeting\ntonight for a writing workshop\nand bull session. The Exchange is\na group of young students, writers\nand drunkards who meet on the\nfirst and third Thursday nights of\nevery month to workshop their\npoetry, short stories, nonaction,\ndrama and what have you quirks!\nThe Exchange replaces the now\ndefunct Vancouver Writers'Guild\nand invites every interested body\nto the Pacific Press Building at\nGranville and Sixth Avenue (use\nSixth Ave. entrance). Room 243\ntonight at about 8:00 p.m.\nVolunteers\nThe Vancouver Resources\nBoard needs 10 volunteers to care\nfor ex-mental patients.\nThe recently released patients\nlive in two half-way houses in\nKitsilano.\nVolunteers will be paid up to\n$15 a month for transportation\nexpenses and would be expected\nto spend at least two hours a week\nhelping the ex-patients adjust.\nSweat\nDo you like to sweat? If so you\nshould sign up at the Varsity\nOutdoor Club room in SUB basement to the V.O.C.'s program of\nsummer hiking and mountain\nclimbing.\n'Tween classes\nTODAY\nCITR\nLive radio drama entitled \"A Friend\nIn Need,\" 5:30 p.m., CITR office.\nAlso a year-end song review with\nCousin Dickie, noon to 3 p.m. on\nCITR.\nCONTEMPORARY DANCE CLUB\nModern dance performance \"rehearsal,\" noon, SUB auditorium.\nFILMSOC\nC-west meeting, noon, the clubroom.\nINTER VARSITY\nCHRISTIAN FELLOWSHIP\nWorship service and last meeting of\nthe year, noon, St. Andy's.\nSTUDENT HEALTH SERVICE\nNutrition clinic, 9 a.m., Wesbrook\nbuilding:\nPSYCHOLOGY STUDENTS-\nASSOCIATION\nFinal social evening, 8 p.m., SUB\n212.\nCHINESE CHRISTIAN FELLOWSHIP\nGraduates' testimonies, noon, SUB\n205.\nALLIANCE FRANCAISE\nInformal meeting for anybody interested in studying in Quebec and\nFrench     universities,     noon,     Buto\nFrench lounge.\nFRIDAY\nYOUNG SOCIALISTS\nSpeakers, about extradition procedures against Leonard Peltier, 8\np.m., 1208 Granville.\nCITR\nDisco dance, 8 p.m., SUB Ballroom.\nSKYDIVING CLUB\nLast meeting and dinner at noodle\nmakers, noon, SUB 215.\nEL CIRCULO SPANISH CLUB\nInformation about the year-end dinner, noon, Brock Annex 351A.\nARTS UNDERGRADUATE SOCIETY\nArts Keg party, 4 p.m., SUB\n207-209.\nALLIANCE FRANCAISE\nFarewell     meeting,     noon-,     International House upper lounge.\nSATURDAY\nLEONARD PELTIER\nDEFENCE COMMITTEE\nBenefit rally and dance for Leonard\nPeltier, 7:30 p.m., SUB ballroom.\nTUESDAY\nCONTEMPORARY DANCE CLUB\nGeneral   meeting,   7  p.m.,   Lasserre\nmain floor.\nDECORATE WITH PRINTS;\nGAY DANCE\nFriday, April 2 \u2014 9 p.m. to\n7 a.m.\n$1.50 admission\nGRAD CENTRE UBC\nDisco and band \u2014 full facilities.\ngrin bin\n3209 W. Broadway\n738-2311\n(Opp. Liquor.Storeand Super Valu) '\nArt Reproductions\nArt Nouveau\nLargest Selection\nof Posters in B.C.\nPhoto Blowups\nfrom Negs& Prints\nJokes - Gifts, etc.\n'DECORATE WITH POSTERS'\nMINES\nAND MOTHER NATURE\nThe children shown above are playing on what used to be a tailing\npond nearSalmo, B.C.\nTailing ponds are found near most mines in British Columbia.\nThey are where the sand-like tailing\u2014the result of grinding rock\ndown to a size small enough to release the mineral\u2014is deposited.\nPonds protect the environment by holding the sand in one small\narea. They also collect water used in the concentration of minerals\nso that it can be pumped back into the concentrator for re-use.\nSince the rock was originally mined many feet below the surface-\nit was once thought that nothing could grow naturally in tailing. But\nthe thick cover of grass shown in the photo resulted after Placer\napplied selected seeds and booster applications of fertilizer.\nOther mines in the Placer group have found that, with the proper\nmethods, grass can thrive on tailing, rock dumps, and other areas\npreviously used in mining operations.\nMines need land to produce the metals and minerals we all need-\nbut they also respect the environment.\nft\nPLACER\nDEVELOPMENT\nLIMITED\nPANGO PANGO (UNS) \u2014 Hot\nFlush has it that on this tropical\nisland of lust and lasciviousness\nthe hairy puce blorgs have\nslithered out of the BOG to attack\nthe annual student newspaper orgy\nand in-progress fertility rites.\nBLACK & LEE\nTUX SHOP\nNOW AT\n1110 Seymour St.\n688-2481\nTHE CLASSIFIEDS\nRATES:   Campus \u2014 3 lines, 1 dsy $1.00; additional tines 25c\nCommercial \u2014 3 tines, 1 dey $1.80; additional tines\n40c. Additional days $1.50 & 35c.\nClassified ads are not accepted by telephone and are payable in\nadvance. Deadline is 11:30 a.m\u201e the day before publication.\nPublications Off ice. Room 241, S.U.B., UBC, Van,\u00a7, B.C.\n5 \u2014 Coming Events\nCLEBRATE THE END of tbe School\nYear! Come to the CITR DISCO in\nthe SUB Ballroom, Friday, April 2nd.\nTickets available at AMS office only.\n$1.00.  Loaded with good  times!\nPEGS PLACE POTTERY SCHOOL \u2014\n2780 Alma, 738-2912. Spring Pottery\nClasses starting April 19. Morning &\nevening classes for adults. Two\nchildren's afternoon classes. Workshops open to everyone! Phone and\nregister  now \u2014  738-2912.\nBROADWAY      MUSICAL       GODSPELL,\nwill be presented at University Hill\nUnited Church, University Blvd. at\n7:30 p.m., Sunday evening, April 4th.\nNo admission charge, an offering\nwill be taken.\n10 \u2014For Sale \u2014 Commercial\nCLEARANCE of TEXAS Instruments,\nCalculators. SR50's $80.00; SR51's\n$115.00. Statisticians. Limited quantity.\nCall 738-5851 evenings.\nVISIT   RHODES\nWestern Canada's finest selection of\nsound equipment. 3 sound areas for\nundisturbed listening, knowledgeable\nstaff, highest quality\u2014lowest prices.\nFeaturing \u2014 Marantz, Pioneer, Kenwood, Sony, Technics, Teac, Tannoy,\nDual, Thorens, Leak, Wharfedale,\nKlipsch, Nakaimchi, etc.\n2699 W.   Broadway 733-5914\n\"The   Finest  for Less\"\n11 \u2014 For Sale \u2014 Private\n4\" THICK DOUBLE BED, foam mattress. $15. Tel. 224-0541  after 5.\n'74 HONDA CB360. Only 1800 miles.\nExc. cond., crash bars, windshield,\n2 helmets. $1200 O.N.O. Ph. 943-4702\nafter 5 p.m.\n'73 HONDA 3S0, only 5700 miles, exc.\ncond. 2 helmets. $790. Ph. 266-8843.\nSALOMON 404 BINDINGS. Replaced by\nSalomon 444. Two seasons old. Good\ncondition.   $25.00   O.B.O.   321-1156.\nBINOCULAR MICROSCOPE (\"Cenco\").\nExcellent  condition.  $350.  263-4833.\nSTEREO: Pro-linear amp, Garrard\nturntable. Ultimate speakers. *340.\nAlso an assortment of astrology\nbooks. 873-6989.\n20 \u2014 Housing\n2 PLEASANT GIRLS preferred to share\nhuge new house from May to September, near UBC. Prefer non-smokers,\nno pets.  228-0883.   $150\/month.\nROOM AND BOARD, Kerrisdale. Male\npreferred. $150. Phone 261-0156 evenings.\nSHARE HOUSE with grad student May\nto  Sept.   733-3190.  Dunbar at  19th.\nSUMMER   SUBLET   near  49th   &  Main.\n.  Basement   suite,   3   bedrooms,  fenced\nyard,   dogs   OK,   absolutely   no   cats.\n$195\/mo.  327-9827.\nSLEEPING ROOM close to Campus,\navailable immediately. Private entrance and bathroom, new home,\nfridge and snack facilities, male non-\nsmoker preferred. Phone 224-9319\nafter 6 p.m.\nGRADUATE STUDENT GIRL needs\napartment near as possible to UBC\ngates. Willing to share with same.\n228-4509 (day), 224-4206 (nites). Req'd\nfor all next year.\nTWO BDRMS. Mixed house. Room to\nlive in, not just exist. Privacy. April-\nAugust. All welcome. Has the works.\n224-7042.\nTHRU-SUMMER accommodation, male\nstudents preferred. Apply now, St.\nAndrew's   Hall,   224-7720.\n25 \u2014 Instruction\nTAI CHI CHUAN for health and self-\ndefence forms and application call\nMr. Cho, 874-4932.\n30 - Jobs\nATTRACTIVE HOSTESS wanted. CaU\n681-9816 from 11:00 a.m.-2:00 a.m.\n546   Howe   Street.\nARE YOU OVER six feet tall, well-\nbuilt, alert, keen, with a smart\nmind, a good education and think\nyou deserve a better opportunity?\nCocky little  bugger,  aren't you.\nADVERTISING   SALES   \u2014   experienced\nsalesperson required for a\" period\nof 2-3 months. Apply Publications\nOffice, Rm. 241, S.U.B. Deadline,\nApril  8.\nACCOUSTICAL GUITARIST wishes to\njoin musicians\/vocalists for jobs and\njams,  jazz,  country, rock.   689-1380.\n35 - Lost\n40 \u2014 Messages'\n50 \u2014 Rentals\nATTRACTIVE SEMINAR ROOMS to rent\n\u2014 blackboards and screens. Free use\nof projectors. 228-5021.\n60 \u2014 Rides\n65 \u2014 Scandals\nCONGRATULATIONS\nDARCY\nMONCHAK\nGRAD 76\nFrom  The   Penthouse\nGang Of Tweeds\n70 \u2014 Services\nEXPERIENCED MATH TUTOR Will\ncoach 1st year. Calculus, etc. Evenings. Individual instruction on a\none-to-one basis. Phone: 733-3644. 10\na.m. to 3 p.m. daily.\n80 \u2014 Tutoring\n85\u2014Typing\nFAST,    EFFICIENT    TYPING.    Essay*,\nthesis,   manuscripts.   266-5053.\n90 - Wanted\nTO BUY: Chem 230 and 205 lab notes\nand books from 1974-75. Mary, 733-\n4943.\nWANTED: For May 1st. 5-bedroom\nhouse close to UBC. Reasonable rent.\nAfter 5 phone Nancy, \"224*503 or\nSheila   228-0982.\nIN PEACHLAND, room and board\nneeded April 21-May 15 for female\non teaching practicum. Phone 224-\n9977, ask for Janice. Write Box 157,\n1935 Lower Mall, Place Vanier, UBC,\nVancouver.\nCOMPANION, female preferred, for\nadventure trip Central America \u2014\nhorseback and foot, 6 to 8 mths.\nRough, primitive, demanding, part\ncost sharing. For details write Jim\nCoultier, 976 West 14th Ave., Vane.\nDeparture,  appr.  Sept.\n99 \u2014 Miscellaneous\nUBYSSEY CLASSIFIED GET RESULTS Thursday,  April   1,   1976\nTHE      UBYSSEY\nPage 23\nUse less fuel\u2014Nader\nFrom page 3\nrising cost of uranium, forced by\nwhat he called a \"uranium cartel,\"\nwhose  members  include  Exxon.\nDescribing the uranium cartel as\none cartel with a positive effect \u2014\nthe rising costs are discouraging\ndangerous atomic plant construction \u2014 Nader said its members have tripled the price of\nuranium to between $20 and $30 a\npound from $8 a few years ago.\nNader said instead of constructing new nuclear plants to\nsolve the \"energy crisis,\" people\nshould use less energy.\nHe said Sweden, which has a\nwealthier economy than the U.S.\n\u25a0 and is in a cold region, is able to get\n; along with 50 per cent less energy\n' consumption per capita than the\nU.S.\n\"If the U.S. and Canada are\ngoing to be as efficient in 2000 as\nSweden is today, we could double\nthe size of the economy with the\nsame energy,\" he said.\nNader said officials are still\nliving with a Second World War\nmyth that nuclear power is the\nsolution to mankind's problems\nand as a result are ignoring the\nopportunities that exist with solar\nenergy.\nHe said even in climates such as\nB.C., the sun's energy can be\ntapped by using forest waste in\nsmall power generators which are\nUEL scheme\nunderway\nonce more\nThe president of LRS\nDevelopment Enterprises plans to\nmeet the provincial government\nsoon to formally propose his\ncontroversial multi-million dollar\nUniversity Endowment Lands\ndevelopment scheme.\nDinos Lambrou said Wednesday\nhe is waiting for a call from environment minister Jim Nielson's\noffice setting a time for him to\npresent the proposal, which would\ninclude accommodation for about\n1,000 people earning more than\n$12,000 annually and what he called\ncommunity facilities of benefit to\nthe entire UEL community.\nLambrou said he is willing to\nmeet representatives of the UEL\nTenants Society, who have opposed\nthe project since it first became\npublic.\nThe land development company\nholds options to purchase 3.6 acres\nbounded by Allison, Toronto,\nDalhousie and Kings Roads.\ncheap to construct and maintain.\n\"But the sun is not the kind of\nthing Exxon likes,\" Nader said.\n\"It's super abundant. It's super\npriced. And it's not subject to the\nkind of manipulation between rich\ncompanies like other fuels.\"\nNader said solar energy offers a\npossibility to \"decentralize\ntechnology\" and bring the fuel and\npower generating capacities more\ndirectly to the consumers.\nNader called on UBC students to\nform a consumer action group\nsimilar to ones at Waterloo and\nMcMaster Universities in Ontario\nand others in American universities.\nHe said these groups \u2014 supported by a student levy of $5 per\nyear \u2014 provide money for lawyers,\nresearch and lobbying and\ncooperate with each other through\nleadership he provides.\nDO YOU HAVE ROOM FOR ONE MORE?\nVANCOUVER RESOURCES BOARD\nDo you remember the struggles of your adolescence or are your\nown teenagers almost grown up? Your experience may help us\nwith one of our teens who needs room and board and something\nextra ... If you live in Vancouver, please phone Muriel Simon or\nTerry Fafard 733-8111 Mon.-Fri. 9-5.\nTENNIS CLUB EMPLOYMENT 0PP0RTUNITES\nThe Lions Gate Indoor Tennis Club will be ready to open its doors in a few\nweeks. We are looking for top-notch, highly personable individuals, who\nenjoy meeting the public, who are intelligent and well-groomed. Some\nknowledge of tennis would be an asset. We need someone who will do that\njob that needs to be done.\nCOORDINATOR A - Monday through Friday 8:00 a.m.-4:00 p.m. Typing\nwill be required. General front desk receptionist duties as well as a certain\namount of member-contact for organizational programs. Court bookings\nand general office duties. Selling merchandise in sports shop.\nCOORDINATOR B - Monday through Friday 4:00 p.m.-Midnight same as\nabove. No typing required.\nCOORDINATOR C -Saturday and Sunday. 8:00 a.m.-4:00 p.m. same as\nabove. Typing an asset.\nCOORDINATOR D - Saturday and Sunday 4:00 p.m.-Midnight. Same as\nabove. No typing required.\nCOORDINATOR E - This is a job for those who would like to be on call\nfor special events where extra staff would be required. This could include\nsomeone  to  help  run  tournaments  and other special events, either in\ncoordinating, clerical or janitorial.\nMAINTENANCE A - Wednesday through Sunday 11:00 p.m.-7:00 a.m.\nPerson for general club maintenance. Able to cope with working at 18'\nheights  in  court  area. Clean courts, laundry, general maintenance and\ncleaning of clubhouse. All-around handyman.\nMAINTENANCE B - Monday and Tuesday 11:.00 p.m.-7:00 a.m. Same as\nabove.\nIf you are interested in any of these positions, and can fill the requirements\nlisted, please call Sylvia Steffens, at 980-5734 for an appointment.\t\nCanadians in global mission\nShort and long term commitments\nPriests and lay members\nINTERESTED IN JOINING? Write to\nRev. Terry Gallagher, S.F.M.\nScarboro House,\n9209-105th Ave.,\nEdmonton, Alberta   403\/424-3321\nI'm interested. Send me more information.\nNAME.\nADDRESS.\nAGE.\nEDUCATION.\nA wine for all reasons. Mateus Rose.\nProduct of Portugal.\nMarketed across Canada\nby Canadian Schenley Distilleries Ltd.\nry   The Roots    ^\nof Summer\nThe new Summer sandals from Roots.\nLightweight soles, foam padded insoles and\nlined with great Canadian leather.\nRoots Sandals. A summer holiday for your feet.\nThe Sun Root, in cedar for men and women.\nThe T-Root, in cedar, chestnut and white.\nThe Open Root, in cedar for men and women.\nThe Holiday Root, in coco and saddle leather.\nRoots\nVancouver\u2014766 Robson Street (Across from\nEaton's)'- (604) 689-9916\nVictoria-1202 Wharf Street (Ac\nBastion Square) \u2014 (604) 3\nI Page 24\nTHE      UBYSSEY\nThursday,   April   1,   1976\nwhat you want\nis what you get!\nitrtspn\nsale:\nWe asked people to compare A&B. They said: '\". . . best price on\ntapes in town . . . all the other stores are too high priced as far as I'm\nconcerned . . . really rate against U.S. stores . . . they got the largest\nselection and really good prices . . . they don't sell garbage on their\nsales .'. . the place really grows on you ... I've always liked A&B\nso that's it.\"\nTAYA\nLP 100\nNew name in turntables\nfrom the famous Toshiba\ncompany. Introductory price.\nAlbums\nPaul McCartney & Wings\nWings at the Speed of Sound\nBAY CITY ROLLERS\nRock 'NK Roll Love Letter\nCAPTAIN & TENNILLE\nSong of Joy\nSUPERTRAMP\nCrisis? What Crisis?\nCOMPARE\nthousands\nmore records\nmany, many more^\nat unadvertised\nsale prices\nWhat stereo guide tells you to buy the\nleast expensive  turntable  cartridge? Audio File! Real\nsound    information.\nFree at A & B.\nSeymour at\nFive, Five, Six\ndowntown Vancouver","attrs":{"lang":"en","ns":"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2009\/08\/skos-reference\/skos.html#note","classmap":"oc:AnnotationContainer"},"iri":"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2009\/08\/skos-reference\/skos.html#note","explain":"Simple Knowledge Organisation System; Notes are used to provide information relating to SKOS concepts. There is no restriction on the nature of this information, e.g., it could be plain text, hypertext, or an image; it could be a definition, information about the scope of a concept, editorial information, or any other type of information."}],"Genre":[{"label":"Genre","value":"Newspapers","attrs":{"lang":"en","ns":"http:\/\/www.europeana.eu\/schemas\/edm\/hasType","classmap":"dpla:SourceResource","property":"edm:hasType"},"iri":"http:\/\/www.europeana.eu\/schemas\/edm\/hasType","explain":"A Europeana Data Model Property; This property relates a resource with the concepts it belongs to in a suitable type system such as MIME or any thesaurus that captures categories of objects in a given field. It does NOT capture aboutness"}],"GeographicLocation":[{"label":"Geographic Location ","value":"Vancouver (B.C.)","attrs":{"lang":"en","ns":"http:\/\/purl.org\/dc\/terms\/spatial","classmap":"dpla:SourceResource","property":"dcterms:spatial"},"iri":"http:\/\/purl.org\/dc\/terms\/spatial","explain":"A Dublin Core Terms Property; Spatial characteristics of the resource."}],"Identifier":[{"label":"Identifier","value":"LH3.B7 U4","attrs":{"lang":"en","ns":"http:\/\/purl.org\/dc\/terms\/identifier","classmap":"dpla:SourceResource","property":"dcterms:identifier"},"iri":"http:\/\/purl.org\/dc\/terms\/identifier","explain":"A Dublin Core Terms Property; An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context.; Recommended best practice is to identify the resource by means of a string conforming to a formal identification system."},{"label":"Identifier","value":"LH3_B7_U4_1976_04_01","attrs":{"lang":"en","ns":"http:\/\/purl.org\/dc\/terms\/identifier","classmap":"dpla:SourceResource","property":"dcterms:identifier"},"iri":"http:\/\/purl.org\/dc\/terms\/identifier","explain":"A Dublin Core Terms Property; An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context.; Recommended best practice is to identify the resource by means of a string conforming to a formal identification system."}],"IsShownAt":[{"label":"DOI","value":"10.14288\/1.0126089","attrs":{"lang":"en","ns":"http:\/\/www.europeana.eu\/schemas\/edm\/isShownAt","classmap":"edm:WebResource","property":"edm:isShownAt"},"iri":"http:\/\/www.europeana.eu\/schemas\/edm\/isShownAt","explain":"A Europeana Data Model Property; An unambiguous URL reference to the digital object on the provider\u2019s website in its full information context."}],"Language":[{"label":"Language","value":"English","attrs":{"lang":"en","ns":"http:\/\/purl.org\/dc\/terms\/language","classmap":"dpla:SourceResource","property":"dcterms:language"},"iri":"http:\/\/purl.org\/dc\/terms\/language","explain":"A Dublin Core Terms Property; A language of the resource.; Recommended best practice is to use a controlled vocabulary such as RFC 4646 [RFC4646]."}],"Provider":[{"label":"Provider","value":"Vancouver : University of British Columbia Library","attrs":{"lang":"en","ns":"http:\/\/www.europeana.eu\/schemas\/edm\/provider","classmap":"ore:Aggregation","property":"edm:provider"},"iri":"http:\/\/www.europeana.eu\/schemas\/edm\/provider","explain":"A Europeana Data Model Property; The name or identifier of the organization who delivers data directly to an aggregation service (e.g. Europeana)"}],"Publisher":[{"label":"Publisher","value":"Vancouver : Alma Mater Society of the University of B.C.","attrs":{"lang":"en","ns":"http:\/\/purl.org\/dc\/terms\/publisher","classmap":"dpla:SourceResource","property":"dcterms:publisher"},"iri":"http:\/\/purl.org\/dc\/terms\/publisher","explain":"A Dublin Core Terms Property; An entity responsible for making the resource available.; Examples of a Publisher include a person, an organization, or a service."}],"Rights":[{"label":"Rights","value":"Images provided for research and reference use only. Permission to publish, copy, or otherwise use these images must be obtained from The Ubyssey: http:\/\/ubyssey.ca\/","attrs":{"lang":"en","ns":"http:\/\/purl.org\/dc\/terms\/rights","classmap":"edm:WebResource","property":"dcterms:rights"},"iri":"http:\/\/purl.org\/dc\/terms\/rights","explain":"A Dublin Core Terms Property; Information about rights held in and over the resource.; Typically, rights information includes a statement about various property rights associated with the resource, including intellectual property rights."}],"SortDate":[{"label":"Sort Date","value":"1976-04-01 AD","attrs":{"lang":"en","ns":"http:\/\/purl.org\/dc\/elements\/1.1\/date","classmap":"dpla:SourceResource"},"iri":"http:\/\/purl.org\/dc\/elements\/1.1\/date","explain":"A Dublin Core Elements Property; A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource.; Date may be used to express temporal information at any level of granularity. Recommended best practice is to use an encoding scheme, such as the W3CDTF profile of ISO 8601 [W3CDTF]."},{"label":"Sort Date","value":"1976-04-01 AD","attrs":{"lang":"en","ns":"http:\/\/purl.org\/dc\/terms\/date","classmap":"oc:InternalResource","property":"dcterms:date"},"iri":"http:\/\/purl.org\/dc\/terms\/date","explain":"A Dublin Core Elements Property; A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource.; Date may be used to express temporal information at any level of granularity. Recommended best practice is to use an encoding scheme, such as the W3CDTF profile of ISO 8601 [W3CDTF].; A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource.; Date may be used to express temporal information at any level of granularity. Recommended best practice is to use an encoding scheme, such as the W3CDTF profile of ISO 8601 [W3CDTF]."}],"Source":[{"label":"Source","value":"Original Format: University of British Columbia. Archives","attrs":{"lang":"en","ns":"http:\/\/purl.org\/dc\/terms\/source","classmap":"oc:SourceResource","property":"dcterms:source"},"iri":"http:\/\/purl.org\/dc\/terms\/source","explain":"A Dublin Core Terms Property; A related resource from which the described resource is derived.; The described resource may be derived from the related resource in whole or in part. Recommended best practice is to identify the related resource by means of a string conforming to a formal identification system."}],"Subject":[{"label":"Subject","value":"University of British Columbia","attrs":{"lang":"en","ns":"http:\/\/purl.org\/dc\/terms\/subject","classmap":"dpla:SourceResource","property":"dcterms:subject"},"iri":"http:\/\/purl.org\/dc\/terms\/subject","explain":"A Dublin Core Terms Property; The topic of the resource.; Typically, the subject will be represented using keywords, key phrases, or classification codes. Recommended best practice is to use a controlled vocabulary."}],"Title":[{"label":"Title ","value":"The Ubyssey","attrs":{"lang":"en","ns":"http:\/\/purl.org\/dc\/terms\/title","classmap":"dpla:SourceResource","property":"dcterms:title"},"iri":"http:\/\/purl.org\/dc\/terms\/title","explain":"A Dublin Core Terms Property; The name given to the resource."}],"Type":[{"label":"Type","value":"Text","attrs":{"lang":"en","ns":"http:\/\/purl.org\/dc\/terms\/type","classmap":"dpla:SourceResource","property":"dcterms:type"},"iri":"http:\/\/purl.org\/dc\/terms\/type","explain":"A Dublin Core Terms Property; The nature or genre of the resource.; Recommended best practice is to use a controlled vocabulary such as the DCMI Type Vocabulary [DCMITYPE]. To describe the file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource, use the Format element."}],"Translation":[{"property":"Translation","language":"en","label":"Translation","value":""}]}