15BC Archive Serial lllllilf W a ubyssey special issue friday, february 4,2000 volume 81 issue 33 iiii gay bisexual transgendered queer i$ february 4, 2000* a ubyssey special issue- CLASSIFIEDS ^rrwriTani TRAVEL-TEACH ENGLISH: 5 day/40 hr (Mar 22-26). TESOL teacher certification course (or by correspondence). 1,000s of jobs available NOW. FREE information package, toll free 1-888- 270-2941. SUMMER CAMP COUNSELORS ON CAMPUS INTERVIEWS FOR PREMIER CAMPS IN MASSACHUSETTS. Positions available for talented, energetic, and fun-loving studenrs as counselors in all team sports including Roller Hockey and Lacrosse, all individual sports such as Tennis and Golf, Waterfront and Pool activities, and specialty activities including art, dance, theatre, gymnastics, newspaper, rocketry and radio. GREAT SALARIES, room, board, travel and US summer work visa. June 17th - August 16th. Enjoy a great summer that promises to be unforgettable. For more information and to apply: MAH-KEE-NAC www.campmkn.com (Boys): 1-800-753-9118 DANABEE www.danbee.com (Girls): 1-800-392-3752 Interviewer will be on campus Tuesday, March 7th, 10am to 4pm in the Student Union Building, rooms 214/216. MUSICIANS WANTED Grace Vancouver Church needs musically diverse artists for Sun. evening service. $35 per night, call 871-4331. PEOPLE IN PARADISE We've been asked the question a thousand times "How did you get this amazing job?!'' The answers are in, A Canadian Guide to Jobs Down South' Visit us at: www.peopleinparadise.com usmess upponunmes LESSEN YOUR DEPENDENCE ON STUDENT LOANS. Internet, Webster, home-based business in one opportunity. All you need is access to a computer, a three ring binder, a telephone, persistence and coachability. Team support provided to help you get started. 24-hour messages @ 1-800-987-1157. caaemic services WRITING TUTOR - having trouble with essay writing? Learn to communicate your ideas. Essay structure, grammar, check/review. 739-5843 ACCOMMODATION AVAILABLE IN THE UBC SINGLE STUDENTS RESIDENCES January-April 2000. Rooms are available in the UBC single student residences for qualified women and men applicants. Single and shared rooms in both "room only" and "room and board" residences are available. Vacancies can be rented for immediate occupancy in the Walter H. Gage, Fairview Crescent, Totem Park, Place Vainer, Ritsumeikan- UBC House and Thunderbird Residences (avaiiabiiity is limited for some residence areas and room types). Applicants who take occupancy of a residence room are now entitled to reapplication (returning student) privileges for a "guaranteed" housing assignment for the 2000/2001 Winter Session. Please contact the UBC Housing Office in Brock Hall for information. The Housing Office is open from 8:30am - 4:00pm weekdays, or call 822-2811 during office hours. fflHiMIIHiHHM.r GLOBALIZATION AND SOCIAL JUSTICE - AMNESTY UBC'S 5TH ANNUL STUDENT CONFERENCE, SAT FEB, 26 @ SUB. Reg. fee $10 if before Feb. 15. Morning workshops will focus on Globalization and rhe issues arising from it. Afternoon sessions will be on Issues of Social Justice. For more info call 822-9098 or email amnestyubc@hotmail.com AIMS EXCECUTIVE 2000/2001 If you are interested in joining the executive for the upcoming school year please contact us ASAP. Next years executive will be determined at end of Feb. If interested please send email to aims@interchange.ubc.ca expressing reasons for interest in field and for joining our executive. tJT^" GRIZZLES VS. BULLS. Feb. 4. Section 323, 2 rickets for $50 obo. Call 730- 0761. EARLY BIRD DISCOUNT, Europe $448(r/t + taxes), (Travel May-October) Hawaii $129 (o/w), Call: 415-834-9192 www.airhitch.org travel, com. MAY 2000 - LADIES X/CANADA ROADTRIP. Incl. NY and Boston. 6 weeks in a self-contained RV shared cooking, driving and costs. One spot left! Approx. $1000 + spending $. Email me! adrimcm@hotmail.com on .isceiianeous CONTACT LENS USERS, BEWARE! www.homyforte.com/Ienserver/ Contact jschong@interchange.ubc.ca for student discount. Up to 25% off!! To place an Ad or a Classified, please call our Advertising Department at 822-1654, weens a free service for the ubc communits Vancouver rape relief/women's shelter Vancouver Rape Relief is an organisation that has been actively fighting violence against women for more than 25 years. They offer training sessions every Tuesday for women interested in volunteering: • on the 24-hour rape crisis line • in the Transition House for Women and their Children for more info call 872-8212 dance Learn to release negative energy, ground body and essence, and enhance creativity by attuning to your own rhythm. Classes every Tuesday 3:30-5:30 pm. Presented by the UBC Women's Centre to register call 822-2163 school mentors Need some practical experience working with kids? Male and female volunteers are needed as in-school mentors. Meet one-to-one with a child in elementary school for one hour a week to play games or sports, work on the computer, or just sit and talk. If you are 19 years or older, call Susan Musleh at Big Brothers of Greater Vancouver. for more info call 876-2447 ext 225 Leadership program 2000 Learn and develop applied skills and strategies of leadership for a better global community. The Leadership Program open to UBC students includes: speech anxiety, public speaking, managing your stress, teamwork, and much more. to register contact: Women's Student's Office at Room 203, Brock HaD or tone 822-4117 * .1 LUCKY DRAT COME TO SUB ROOM 245 BETHEN 9:30AM W 12:30 T00AVTO ENTER! CHANCE TO WIN 2 TICKETS TO: Grizzlies vs Chicago • Friday, Feb. 4 Canucks vs Calgary • Wednesday, Feb. 9 *N0 PREVIOUS WINNERS PLEASE. lis IV 1 V GIVEAWAY -a ubyssey special issue • friday, february 3U£kwmm\ sse ikins, Am ashanu, Volunteers are needed to help with the organization of the event ■™mrm "~" ™«- Out on campus for twenty years This is it, folks—this is the big one. The year 2000, or the new millennium as it's sometimes called, marks the 20th anniversary of Outweek at UBC. Over the years, we've seen many changes take place in Pride: the group has transformed from a predominantly gay white male organisation to a rainbow of diversity; our name has evolved from "Gay People of UBC" to the current, and more inclusive, "Pride UBC." "Gay Week" has grown from just a couple of events to "Outweek," which this year is an extravaganza of discussions, info fairs, and major films, topped off with sex columnist extraordinaire Dan Savage to chat about all things in and out of the closet. Overall, Pride has emerged as an organisation that not only accepts diversity, but also embraces it. In doing so, people's sense of identity is strengthened and Pride has become a valuable and visible community resource. Looking at how far Pride has come was one of our main motivations for putting together this year's Pride Issue. We've included some stuff from the past, and many new articles about queer life in the new century. Stories about coming out and coming to terms with one's sexuality show the struggle that queers remain faced with even today. One of the most important things that queers have achieved over the past 20 years is the sense that each of us is not alone and that there is a community that we can turn to. The articles that appear here reflect this sentiment and demonstrate the strength of the queer community. It's important that despite our celebrations, we also remember those we have lost and that we still have much to work towards. There is still hate crime, gay bashing and systemic harassment. Furthermore, queers still lack the basic privileges of marriage and protection against discrimination that heterosexuals can afford to take for granted. The battle's not over, but realising how lucky we are to have as much support as we do certainly makes it easier. We've come a long way from the days of relying solely on donations to carry out events, and have definitely gained a greater sense of autonomy. With the array of resources we have available now, it's no wonder the queer community is standing so proud. We have every right to be. This week coming up is our time to shine, so take advantage of ali Outweek has to offer.<» Ti TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 4, 2000 VOLUME B1 ISSUE 34 EDITORIAL BOARD SPECIAL ISSUE COORDINATORS Pride UBC Vashti Singh and David Banks COORDINATING Bruce Arthur NEWS Nicholas Bradley and Daliah Merzaban CULTURE Duncan M. McHugh and Jaime Tong SPORTS Naomi Kim FEATURES Tom Peacock NATIONAL/COPY Cynthia Lee PHOTO Tara Westover PRODUCTION Todd Silver COORDINATORS CUP/VOLUNTEERS Nyranne Martin WEB Flora Graham letters/opinion Lisa Denton RESEARCH Daniel Sherman/Graeme Worthy The Ubyssey is the official student newspaper of the University of British Columbia. It is published every Tuesday and Friday by The Ubyssey Publications Society. We are an autonomous, democratically run student organisation, and all students are encouraged to participate. Editorials are chosen and written by the Ubyssey staff. They are the expressed opinion of the staff, and do not necessarily reflect the views of The Ubyssey Publications Society or the University of British Columbia. The Ubyssey is a founding member of Canadian University Press (CUP) and firmly adheres to CUP's guiding principles. All editorial content appearing in The Ubyssey is the property of The Ubyssey Publications Society. Stories, opinions, photographs and artwork contained herein cannot be reproduced without the expressed, written permission of The Ubyssey Publications Society. Letters to the editor must be under 300 words. Please include your phone number, student number and signature (not for publication) as well as your year and faculty with all submissions. ID will be checked when submissions are dropped off at the editorial office of The Ubyssey, otherwise verification will be done by phone. "Perspectives" are opinion pieces over 300 words but under 750 words and are run according to space. "Freestyles" are opinion pieces written by Ubyssey staff members. Priority will be given to letters and perspectives over freestyles unless the latter is time sensitive. Opinion pieces will not be run until the identity of the writer has been verified. It is agreed by all persons placing display or classified advertising that if the Ubyssey Publications Society fails to publish an advertisement or if an error in the ad occurs the liability of the UPS will not be greater than the price paid for the ad. The UPS shall not be responsible for slight changes or typographical errors that do not lessen the value or the impact of the ad. EDITORIAL OFFICE Room 241K, Student Union Building, 6138 Student Union Boulevard, Vancouver, BC. V6T 1Z1 tel: (604) 822-2301 fax: (604) 822-9279 email: feedback@ubyssey.bcca BUSINESS OFFICE Room 245, Student Union Building advertising: (604) 822-1654 business office: (604) 822-6681 fax:(604)822-1658 ubyssey_ads@hotmail.com BUSINESS MANAGER Femie Pereira AD SALES Jennifer Riley AD DESIGN Shalene Takara Recipe for Uoyssqr cake: add equal amounts of Amit Taneja, Mart* McDonald, Wayne Van Der Meide, and T.R. Stevenson. Mx in some Tristan Winch, Nicholas Bradley, Tom Peacock, and Duncai McHugh. Let srL In another bowl, mix Naomi Kim, Vashti Singh, David Banks, and Julius Oefante. Then add a dash each at Fiona Steele. Wah fee Tirtg. Brian MacLean. and Tanya Bateju, along with a pinch of Stephane FWISps and Laura Bracken. Finally. rm_ alt ingredients together, ailing Caroline Kreebom. Kevin Gurr, Neil Femyhough, Brian Un, Jonathan AbourbBi. and Aaron Yip to taste. Garnish with Dalah Merzaban, Jaime Tong. Cynthia Lee, Broce Arthur, and Todd Silver . Canadian Urriveisity Bess Canada Pott Publications Sain Agreement Number 0732141 february 4, 2000 • a ubyssey special issue - WEST 10TH OPTOMETRY CLINIC PATRICIA A. RUPNOW, B.Sc., O.D. * STEPHANIE BROOKS, B.A., O.D. MEG SEXSMITH. B.Sc. O.D. DOCTORS Ol OPTOMETRY DEDICATED TO EXCELLENCE Phone: (604) 224-2322 4320 West 10th Avenue Vancouver, B.C. V6R 2H7 GENERAL EYE HEALTH AND VISION CARE 1 Denotes Optometric Corp. Email: info@westlOthoptonletiy.bc.ca Celebrate Year of the Dragon at February 7-10 $4.99 CAihe*e New ye*> $?££f/U$ all specials served with Fortune Cookie & Chinese Tea! Mon. Lemon Chicken Bail Tue.. Dragon Ba/Js - Meat Balls Chinese Sty/e\ Wed. Chicken Leg with Special Chef Sauce Thurs. Braised Chicken with Chinese Mushrooms Fri. Chicken Leg with Special Chef Sauce ~ L ENTER TO WIN! Lunch for 5 at Yum Yum's or Happy New Yearr Gift Basket YUM YUM's Chinese Fast Food Lower level Old Auditorium, Ph: 822-2569 HOURS : 7:45am - 3:00pm / Lunch Served -11:00am -1:30pm WAREHOUSE MORE BOOKS FOR YOUR MONEY" We've got books you want (and a few you don't!) all at discount prices! Remainders, hurts and bargain books are our specialty. You never know what you'll find! VISIT OUR NEW LOCATION AT 4444 W10th Ave! Book Warehouse Discount Bookstores 632 West Broadway 872-5711 • 2388 West 4th Ave 734-5711 1181 Davie St 685-5711 -4444 W10Th Ave 221-5744 1524 Lonsdale Ave 904-5711 • Metrotown Centre (Lower level) 434-5711 OPEN 10am-10pm 7 DAYS A WEEK- Enjoy a FREE cup of coffee while you browse! ay is alentine' by Brian MacLean Mow did St. Valentine's Day begin? St. Valentine's Day began as a pagan festi- swalpin ancient Rome. February 14 was a day to honour Juno, the god- ■M of women and marriage. This day was also the eve of the Feast of fcupercalia, a festival honouring the god Lubercus. Luperc^lia was celebrated to ensure Lubercus protected Roman sheep from wolves. During the festival, boys and girls picked names from an urn and became partners. Sometimes the pairings lasted through the year; some resulted in marriage. But who was Valentine? During the reign of Claudius II (Claudius the Cruel), Rome waged many wars. Claudius had difficulty recruiting soldiers for his endeavours. He reasoned that men were reluctant to serve the empire because they were attached to their fami- .*KI) by Tanw Boteju Gripped in air breathing is riot an option options are thin (like the air) feet dangling hanging by hands finger-collar hotding me up and choking me too like half-a-person so small in your hands Claiming largeness Feigning Strength when really I am only gripped by hands that won't let go because they can't because i can't because I won't let them let me go forcing out (bringing out) tears roiling down dripping i^^^BlsB|ll|ll your fingers slicking them loose loose lose-ing fingers spread slip like greased I can breathe choosing that slipping too falling small slowly failing a reach tentative but hopeful and both ways and both ways arms encircle my waist we are face to face half grown in your fingers grown to fuit in your arms balanced in air thick with us together hanging in air not tight but easy not gripped but suspended by more than this lies. Therefore, Claudius decreed that all engagements and marriages in the empire were cancelled. However, a priest named Valentine considered the Emperor's edict to be unfair and continued to marry couples in secret. Claudius was enraged by Valentine's defiance and had him imprisoned around 269 AD. One legend says that Valentine fell in love with his jailer's blind daughter. He wrote her messages of love using ink squeezed from violets and signed them "From Your Valentine." Some say his words of love cured the woman of her blindness, further enraging the Emperor, and causing him to order Valentine's execution on February 14. His jailer, unimpressed with Valentine's love for his daughter, clubbed him to death and beheaded him. Valentine's friends retrieyed his body and buried him in a churchyard in Rome. In 496 AD, Pope Gelasius declared February 14 a day to honour St. Valentine. It became a day for lovers to exchange messages and tokens, and St. Valentine becamejttijBte.natron saint. Wn ' hose holiday is it anyway? Valentine's is a beautiful holiday wfeh a fascinating Jaistory. However, I would like you to read the\xcerpt below/rom trie Detroit Free Press, February 13, 1998 Even on Feb. 14, Some Lovers Stay Hidden" Tomorrow is Valentine's Day and I'm in love. Having been single for several years, I can say without hesitation that it feels wonderful. Tonight my sweetheart and I will go out for a quiet, candlelit dinner for two. Then...we'II probably go for a walk in some lovely, out-of-the-way place, and kiss in the moonlight. And we'll be taking our lives in our hands. As a gay couple, we face the constant threat of harassment and violence, simply for being ourselves.... Nearly a year ago I saw an assault taking place aboard a city streetcar, committed by an assailant shouting anti-gay epithets. He seemed to think the young man he was beating was too "obvious." The vast majority of gays and lesbians want to live our lives in peace... Valentine's Day is one day of the year when that is particularly difficult. nyBETBon't believe me, try this simple experiment: Find a friend or coworker of the same sex and walk a full block down a busy street or the whole length of a crowded shopping center holding hands. When you get to the end, stop, say goodbye, and give each other a parting kiss on the lips. If the thought fills you with terror, you've just experienced a tiny fraction of what I live with every day. Happy Valentine's Day. Lvery year, Pride UBC hos: gay and lesbian community Valentine's Day, not becausj holiday, but because we wai fellow students that romifjfce || Outweek begins February Wanll events are open to ejp|y|#e. Af will be showing tw^ fraSwIviesj and Tuesday fea 8. Alsi do a show gn Thursday, room. Please see our p< about these and other fun Valentine'! Day lutweek, a, celebration of the IC. We pun the week before want tojfl n anyone else's lare in m W e want to remind a pip |: our lives, too. ■uns Mtil Rpbruary 11. Our long many jpther events, we .LIB oh Monday Feb. 7, Inging in Dan Savage to :30pm in the SUB ball- this paper for details And%vish you all a Happy a ubyssey special issue • friday, february 4fm matt*, NM«rntar»: tftt by Julius Elefante RETROSPECTIVE: The anonymous letter (shown here), sent to the Ubyssey 20 years ago provoked members of the Gay People of UBC (since renamed GLB-UBC, and] recently, Pride UBC). What was then perceived as inflammatory is easily seen as humorous today. Even j more hilarious still is the annoyingly 1 asinine manner in which the letter j and the ensuing responses were j presented. j queer then and now Ttt£ U8YS&«Yi ■■■ 8|||MI|tlMI||||^ ■■■■■■■■■■■■I ■■ » BlMllI WmKBm iri 1 UUIVJ A1 s February 7-11 Monday, February 7th Info Fair South SUB Concourse 10am - 2pm Movie "Trick" The Norm Theatre @ the SUB 8pm Free, accepting donations for AIDS Vancouver Tuesday, February 8th Info Fair South SUB Concourse 10am - 2pm Panel Discussion "Queer Writers" SUB Room 205 12:30 - 2pm Hear readings from poet Michael V. Smith, fiction writer Karen X. Tulchinsky and columnist Colin Thomas Movie "Fire" The Norm Theatre @ the SUB Free, accepting donations for The Centre Thursday, February 10th Speaker Dan Savage "Dan Savage Talks About Sex" SUB Ballroom 12:30 - 2pm Free Come early for good seats to hear the author of "Savage Love" talk about all things sexual Friday, February 11th Cupid's Dance SUB Party Room 8pm - 12am DJ all night Drag show at 10pm Tickets $6 - available at Subcetera (UBC) or Little Sisters (downtown) Don't be sorry, buy early! Alumni Wine and Cheese SUB Party Room 5 - 7:30pm Open to Alumni and Students Pride UBC is an AMS resource group for the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and trangendered campus community SUB Room 125N, 822-4638 www.ams.ubc.ca/clubs/pride ^ftWpoimof view* First of alt. Me must have an undaretaa&ij of ^^*o} ftpa% ,h|afoseS&i,, ■ floe*" n^A^^M^^^^^f^d fs^0~-0&^^^^^^i. & ftmna«tt*ttsl s6b4 ^p$*Ser«tRR*i& Kk'saS pt*fa$lrm*wiimi*sr.af *. §§*& into ptt$qmssi, «fiwmr »\ StittiOtttiup« » not a Wat^B8»Slptl Viewed through today's time lens, the letter in question actually possesses a healthy dose of queer camp. In fact, it would have had a more elevated level of camp, really, if it did not cop out in the end and try to explain itself to those who may have missed the point. If any chastisement is necessary, it is for the stylistic transgression of hutching up—making itself apparent to the straightforward, mundane, heterosexual reasoning. Hold up, Blanche, I see a mauve streak of recognition: this is exactly what that letter Nqj$« urtinls » *-ij*M f tocialfcaer* The *%tinwisBI$$ i^i'ljIiWsffttfr. of •i&?Wj6^il*^'of fife p? &**il! e£. '■*%.■ : va*«aiSe-t©j;8se «s* to help tfcgfgt : tis^^^:M-iH^ildr#l^r|.>^M|l« recognize their ifnwasce, let alone to try *o improve tfasaadtae* wri- homosexuals we not «B demerits*,' of aJentd.tapac%. I fepi ^'.shosiw I be .::th» ><*ith jreti&^,'$s$. fear ''father thea t^«^toi«;S^|;r^ii^»te4p.; u.-■.;'... same wtthlteJii m^iti^msm^i. Friday, November 30, 1979 Gays crap on letter . Gay People of UBC wishes 10 disassociate itself completely from the ludicrous opinions expressed by ihe unknown author of Bow lo your superiors, straights Thursday Nov 29, 1979. We suspect thai whoever ihe author was, he only intended to arou.se negative and anti-gay sentiment on campus. We therefore doubt that the author was, in fact, even gay. It's easy to spot a wolf in sheep's clothing. Anyone who followed the strategy ol" Richard Nixon and. his "dirty trickseampaign" will be familial with the tactic of discrediting a particular group's viewpoint by grossly distorting it. Wc hope that boll, gay and straight people at UBC" will see the and crap again Wc of the gay/lesbian law association condemn the statements made by the author of Bow to your superiors, straights in the Nov. 29, 1979 Ubyssey. The author obviously intended to disrupt and polari/c gays and straights at UBC. We will gladly listen to reasoned arguments in the future, but lor the. pcrseni we cannot stomach this distorted outlook, authentic or otherwise. The letters section of The t.lnssey is intended lor the honest expression of opinion not inflammatory diatribe. Murk McDonald »f ihe %a\ /lesbian law association of ubc hone letter, for what ii truly calculated disruption of exchange of opinion. The anonymous author of that letter does not express the views of gay students at UBC or anywhere else. Gay People of UBC espouses equality lor all. T. R. Stevenson president People of UBC and thc executive or (ta> people »l UBC responses, this "we've here] are not amused Then again, before was arguing, our height- come so far" trip reaches unbear- ened reasoning! Celebrate able levels of self righteousness, it the victory of Homo homo must be conceded such catfights sapiens over the Homo still persist today, most prominently sapiens majority! on The Jerry Springer Show. And So, in writing this apolo- they have a far wider audience base gia, the mea culpas are for than the Ubyssey—but hey, was the snotty over-reactivity of Springer a heterosexual or queer Mr. Stevenson and Mr. conception? Now, there's a topic of McDonald and their "We of discussion that could truly be multi- [insert collective name layered. ♦ februaty 4, 2O00 • a ubyssey special issue • a new sense by Caroline Kirsebom PRIDE This past September, I moved from Oslo, the capital of Norway, to Vancouver. I came with a lot of different hopes and worries for the three years ahead of me at UBC. I didn't know what to expect, didn't know anyone, and had never been to Canada before. I want to tell you about my experience of coming to UBC and Vancouver, and discovering the large gay and lesbian (GL) community here, I want to do this to give you a perspective on what a great resource you have here, seen from a background of a city far away, with similar standards of living but a very different popular culture. I realised that I was attracted to women four years ago at the age of 19, when I feB madly in love with another girl for the first time. It all felt too wonderful for me to hide it, so after only a month or so, I came out to most of my friends. It just seemed natural and necessary for me; I couldn't keep that new exciting part of my life a secret. I was lucky enough not to go through the stages of confusion and denial and closeted behaviour that so many other gays and lesbians unfortunately do. All my friends were very accepting and supportive all along; I have never been treated badly in any way because of my sexual preference. My problem, rather, has been meeting others like me. The population of Oslo is overall very tolerant and accepting, and the different forms of harassment are probably less common there than here in Vancouver. There is, however, still no gay and lesbian community to speak of. What exists is small, intimate and hard to break into. In the suburb I'm from, the GL community is virtually non-existent. I have sadly never seen any signs of it at all. One of the biggest differences I see between young people here and in Oslo'is that a lot more of the Norwegian social interactions revolve around partying and spending time with your closest group of friends. Young peoples' lives are not as organised as here where you seem to socialise more through sports, clubs and organisations of various sorts. This is typically reflected in the GL community, making the difference more apparent because Oslo's small GL community is almost exclusively visible only at night. It is not easy to make lesbian friends, or to get to know a potential partner, when the only meeting place is a in a crowd of more or less alcohol-influenced women during the late nights of the weekend. Before moving to Vancouver, I never really understood what a GL community could be like. I was hop ing in the backof my head that it would be more visible than at home, and I did know that Vancouver is known as a city of diversity and high tolerance. I thought before moving here that since Vancouver is three times bigger than Oslo (population 60Q.000), there would be more gays and lesbians, and therefore more bars to go to meet them all. Not knowing any better, this sounded good enough for me! - My ideas turned out to be a little off. Instead of the more extensive variety of bars I was looking for, I found gay sports teams, choirs.'outdoor groups, restaurants, bookstores and otter kinds p£;sp$al groups. And they're for all age groups tpo^l-^ras amazed. Then there are the resource group*!. All the people working to make information^organi- sations and events visible and available fbtj^tll of us. They organise, lobby, coordinate the r^rnriHi- nity, and create social networks in so many diffec- tions within the GL population. So many peojple are voluntef$hg and working to make a'oraad and resot(r|eful community. I must say thatfam happily surprised and thankful to all of them. The feejjng of being a part of | big comrrpgiiy, one that is sober, diverse, and available, isfrtew and exhilarating. ip I have all of this available! What now? Mating good friends in resource\groups likeu |||le UBC is still not that easy. Rbpple there ill as welcoming, helpful and nicely theyCan Ijb, but it is stilt quite challenging^ cafhing fom another cMltuje. I do realise thi|rm the Ine who >jas to adjust. It is frusjp|hg at •times trying my best to fit in, arwbl: open- / minded, polite, and smiling. And still it happens—I somehow step into it with both feet, and push people away from me, when my intentions were to get closer to them. It takes time to gain people's trust here. Acquaintances are easy to make because most everyone is very friendly and helpful, even on a first encounter. To earn people's trust is harder. There is certainly some amount of scepticism and caution in most people I meet when it comes to building closer friendships and relationships. More so than I'm used to. Moreover, I have never had any gay friends before. It's almost scary, but at the same time very exciting, to try to build lesbian friendships for the first time. I don't know how! How do I make a friend in a way that cannot be misunderstood? Some women look at me like I'm crazy, or run away scared because they think I'm making a pass, when most of the time I'm not. I'm just acting like I do with my friends at home. Straightforward, intimate and honest from day one. I never mean to offend anyone, but there ARE differences, ones I never expected. Words or actions of mine that you might find rude are, for me, not rude at all, and vice versa. I am trying to learn and adjust, but you have to give me some time! It seems like there are politics, almost new sets of rules on how to behave among lesbians, to make it clear how you stand in relationship to each other. Rne lines that cannot be broken. A friendship between lesbians can in many cases be similar to a lesbian partnership, and some tension is bound to appear when the relationship is not clearly defined, or if the future intentions are not the same for both women. I am slowly learning all this, thanks to my new and very helpful gay and lesbian friends here at UBC. I encourage any gay or lesbian that reads this— if you don't know who to talk to, or how to go about to take part in the GL community, stop by the UBC Pride office for a chat. If you want to join, or have any questions about other possibilities within the GL community that interests you, that is an easy and anonymous way to go. Overall, I love the gay and lesbian community in Vancouver. It serves the population here well, and includes the types of activities desired. It certainly reflects the rest of the society here, with all its groups and subgroups so tailored to everyone's specific needs, so there are available options for each individual desire. A few more nightclubs for women would make me personally happy, because I do like to party and the variety of places to go out here is about as large as in Oslo. But I'm trying to see it from your perspective, aiming for what's best for the GL community here. The way it is now probably serves its purpose best. I have never belonged to a community like this before. I'm envious on behalf of the GL population in Oslo, and hoping that we some day will see the same tendencies there. I have always been proud of myself, but my total openness was an exception to the rule in my society. Here, I look around me and I see so many gays and lesbians, with their heads held high, waving rainbow flags and working together to create and maintain a good community for everyone that wishes to join. Everyone from the ones on the Vancouver Pride Society's executive board to the ones merely attending a gay discussion group, or playing on a gay soccer team. It is all about standing together! Everyone contributes and participates, however much he/she has time, energy^ and ability to. This is not about us (gays and lesbians) against them (straights). This is ju§t ajjjoutrfiakingsurewe have an environment in which to soe}ia(}se wpieacn othejftiat we have the opportunity !tq meet pdtep%at:parmers*^nd.ttends, others that have been through the same, otheJs.that.we have a lot in common with. '**?% •»■ »„ This community has giveo.naS i3%)ple new sense of Pride. I am no longer just proud to be me, I am proud to be one of so many great gays and lesbians working for each other p trlink^ou!^ :'i */%$&»* ■■•$*% y1 QL by Fiona Ste Your life as a queer kid is most e ily forgotten. It's painful to reme ber what life was like every mornii every day, and every night, trudgi around with a suffocating seer Back then it was impossible escape the worry, confusion, a loneliness. There was no one to t< You thought you were the only que kid in town. You knew your parer wouldn't think you being queer w fabulous news. And it would kill y to have them tell you so. Instee you spent high school as an ase: al. The other kids thought you we straightedge, a nerd. You hung c with nerdy kids and you bored ea other every lunch hour chatti about biology class. Your grandparents thought y were the ideal good granddaught But you didn't go completely unr ticed. Your ten-year-old brother saj "Hey, you're gay" one day afl you've just given him an extensi list of all the celebrities rumored be queer. But you lie and tell him i anyway. Meanwhile you devo every piece of queer media to I had at the public library. Their o lection is predictably lacking and high school graduation you've re< every Jane Rule novel at least twic At 13, you tell your mom that; time they forget about boys is at G es and dates. At 16, you fall in lo< speak to you again. By 17, you de they haven't figured it out alreadj comes and goes. You'll tell them b but next week and the week after e sible as defying gravity. You graduate from high school your hometown, to university whei up. Your mom is the one who final been wanting to tell me?" That's tl Now, five years after you were free not only queer kids grow up with s the home economics teacher, one like you, had alcohol abuse in thei Now you try your hardest to rer pass a dozen or so kids who are li without secrets is much, much bri| -a ubyssey special issue*friday, february • TOUT life as a UEL Steele Out by Amit Taneja and proud in resi- r dence nost eas- ) remem- morning, , trudging I secret, jsible to ;ion, and ne to tell, nly queer r parents ueer was d kill you Instead, in asexu- you were hung out red each chatting jght you daughter. 3ly unno- hersays, lay after extensive nored to ill him no devour ia to be Fheir col- g and by I've read ist twice. i that your friends have gone boy crazy and that you think they're weird. The only is at Girl Guide camp. At 15, you're jealous of their freedom to gossip about crush- ill in love with your friend Emma and you're afraid that if she finds out she'll never you decide you can't go on any longer like this, it's time your parents knew (as if already, you think). You'll tell them tomorrow after dinner. Tomorrow after dinner :hem by the end of the week. The week passes. Okay, so you'll tell them next week, after and the one after that pass by. Suddenly saying "I'm gay" becomes as impos- jchool and spend the summer fantasising about what it will be like to move out of ty where there must be other queer kids. After five years your prison sentence is 10 finally grants your bail by asking a simple question: "Is there something you've hat's the first day you started to forget what it was like to be a queer kid in secret, sre freed, you can see the humor in your secret queer kid life and you realise that with secrets. Kids you grew up with had their own secrets—one was in love with ?r, one was adopted, one had an abortion, one had a giant scar up her leg, three, in their families, and four had eating disorders. t to remember all those feelings of isolation because you know that everyday you 3 are living the life you used to live. You hope that soon they too will know that life jch brighter.* Coming out publicly as gay is quite an experience in itself. Try doing it in residence, and it's much more than that. I became consciously aware of my sexual orientation when I was 13 or so, but didn't accept that fact until the week before I moved into Totem Park as a first-year student. I was very overwhelmed by the huge campus and change of lifestyle. The last thing I wanted to do was come out to 30 strangers in the first week. I decided to take my time. Unfortunately, I did not account for the fact that others would assume that I was heterosexual. After about two months of that, I decided it was time to come out. And that is exactly what I did— by writing an article in the residence newsletter with my name on it. Soon the news spread like wildfire—there was some "fag" in residence telling everyone to be considerate and gay-positive. I was scared shitless for about three days. I could not tell what the reaction was. I could see people pointing in my direction and speaking in whispers, but no one said anything to me. Then it happenerJ—a sea of overwhelming support from the residence community (for the most part, anyway). There were floormates who stopped by to say that they admired my courage. The residence life team members (advisors) were probably my biggest support network. I had taken a step forward alone by determining to live my life the way I was. I would take no flak. I would not let any insult go by. In my head, the battle was mine to fight. And now I had this army of support backing me up all the way. About a year and a half later, I decided to run for president of the Totem Park Residence Association (TPRA). I ran a very creative campaign, and I was feeling very confident about my chances to win. But in the middle of campaign week, I found one of my posters had been vandalised—it now read "No one is going to elect a queer to represent us non-perverts." I got worried. Was that all I was? I thought I was the guy running in the election who was going to bring laser light shows to the dances. Now I was being told that I was just the gay guy running for a lost cause. I did not give up, though. I held my head up high because I knew that I had the support of many people behind me. I won by more than just a comfortable margin. The end result—most people don't care whether you are gay or straight. I only thought they did. Being the TPRA president meant that I was in the public eye quite a bit. Come September when res opened up again for the new school year, news soon spread that I was "actually gay!" There were soon many closeted gay, lesbian, and bisexual students who confided in me their "secret." Most of them, howevers chose not to come out publicly. Honestly, that bothered me. It reminded me of the time when I was too scared to come out to what I assumed to be hostile neighbours. It made me seriously question the situation of homo sexual students in residence—is residence a place where people could feel safe? And then it hit me—of course it is. I had to look no further than my own situation. I was gay, out, and proud in residence. Maybe not everyone liked me, but a vast majority of the students did. Not only that, they respected me for who I was. I was no longer a name attached to a label. The realisation was very exhilarating. After speaking with many gay students who decided not to come out in residence, I was able to recognise that the res life system, for the most part, is well set up. People, however, need to come out when the time is right for them. And many of them did decide to do so farther down the road. This article is therefore dedicated to two groups of people. First, to those who came out in residence. Second, to all those wonderful people who helped me (and many others) come so far in the exciting journey of coming out. To all those residents who are still in the closet—I urge you to think about your situation. Your worries are valid. There is seemingly a lot to lose by coming out. But you have to remember that you have a full department backing up your right to live in a harassment-free environment. The advisors are there for you should you need them. They have extensive training regarding homophobia in residence, and they really do care about your well-being. If you feel that the time is right, take a step out of your residence room (or should I call it a closet?). It's a pretty world out here.* used t by Kevin Gurr T ^atieangelfish You disagree—but I have my reasons. You say that I'm young or that my standards are too high, that I think too much, or spend too much time on my own. You say that I neglect a part of myself. We argue into the wee hours of the morning, consuming too many glasses of beer, slipping now and then into French. You like when I speak French. It's sensual. I'm younger than you are, but what's ten years entre des copains comme nous. I tell you about a fairy-tale taking over my insides, the adventure of a golden boy who has small red wings like the fins of a Japanese carp. He is the single thought that remains of an exploded universe. He is all things, unknowingly. His consciousness, his perception, his growing knowledge gives birth to a new worid. All the creatures of this worid fear the boy because he carries ajdeadly poison in his belly: love. You're smiling at me. I'm drunk now. I'm thinking without thinking. This is when I'm most charming. It doesn't last long, though. Soon my eyelids will weigh on me, and I'll begin to sing along to your Gloria Gaynor. You're touching me more than I'd like but we're both lonely; that's the poison of love. No harm done. I want to talk about God but you say that's too private for you to discuss just now. I flex my brows and wonder why then was it okay for you to follow me to the urinals. Salaud! You think you know me. You're a good judge of character; most bartenders are. You tell me it's not right that I'm lonely at my age. I don't understand how a 30yearold has that right over me. You see in my eyes that I'm shut off from the worid. My confidence is rewritten, conceited. I can smell your breath. Chimay and Camembert and Van Nellie tobacco. I've told you about the boy I met on New Year's Eve, that I felt something so real, and how when we hugged goodbye, I could see this boy and me growing old together like typical gay professionals, sharing an apartment with wooden floors and high ceilings, a Great Dane, a Citroen and a Saab, falling asleep in each other's arms night after night. I've told you that God condemned gays when he denied us his love. We have ambition and good looks. We have kick- ass drugs and the world's best discotheques. We're confident, we're charming, we're lonely. You pull me back from my fairytale. I'm crying. You tell me a joke, a gay joke, a dirty one about Peter and Luc. I'm howling. You're a good guy, but I still won't sleep with you. I'm in love with my fairytale. I will survive... I will eat you up and spit you out like the shark you have made me.»> pi february 4, 2000 • a ubyssey special issue- NEWS MEETS , tues- days @ 12:30 information is a dangerous thing... and all TUt t fi 4 f3 M i> U I V b f P H *-^ February 6th marks what would have been the 55th birthday of one of music's most influential and inspirational singer/songwriters. In honour of this event, weh giving you the chance to win: GRAND PRIZE: Bob Marley's SONGS OF FREEDOM The definitive retrospective. A 4CD boxset featuring Bob Marley classics & rarities. SECONDARY PRIZES: 1 of 3 copies of CHANT DOWN BABYLON. . Featuring Bob Marley duets with Lauryn Hill, Busta Rhymes, Steven 4* *o||j Tyler 4 Joe Perry (from Aerosmith) and more.. Come to Tee Ubtssey Bushiss Office (SUB Room 246) to wn! WIN^ WIN A COPY OF MORPHINE'S CD IF YOU CAN ANSWER THE FOLLOWING: Name one of Morphine's past albums Be one of the first to answer this correctly at the Ubyssey Business Office (Room 245) to win! If you would like to win breakfast with President Martha Piper on Friday, February 25th, 2000 from 7:30-9:00 a.m. please contact The Ceremonies Office preferably by email (crivet@exchange.ubc.ca) or phone (822-9200) and leave your first and last name, faculty, program of study, year, student number, address, phone number and email. The first 28 students to respond will twin breakfast with the President! Deadline for entries is Tuesday, February 8th at 4:30pm. m thev do to US by Wayne Van Der Meide For much of that day, those hours were a blur. A manic rush to fulfill all of those fantasies. Put on the nylons, the dress, the pumps, and of course, make-up—just as she did every day of her life. All of this must be done before she returns home and discovers my deceit, my covetousness. In retrospect, I realise that a small part of that boy longed for her—my mother, the only she in my small world—to come home and see that I also could be beautiful. I could be pretty, attractive and confident like her—not the shy, awkward, pudgy-faced, pockmarked, prepubescent boy that looked back at me from the mirror most of the time. There you have it! I did drag when I was 14. For me, it was a childish and empty imitation of my mother, but drag was the only way that society permitted me to be seen as a man who loved men. I can just hear so many of you lovely heterosexuals. "See, all sissy boys are gay and they grow up to be effeminate gay men." And I can also hear a lot of you lovely gay men either make some biting quip about another "queen-in-the-making" or scoff, "I was on the varsity rugby team and never wore a dress in my life." (Goody for you, oh envied butch fag.) Surprise! I'm not going to fall into either of your traps. Not now when I'm just climbing out of your obsession with some "macho litmus paper test"—pink for gay and dull brown for "all man." I will not try to justify my existence by convincing you that I am "normal." Nor will I bore you with tiresome rainbow-inspired anecdotes about facile paradigms: effervescent florists and surly construction workers—equally homosexual (or as many of the latter category will insist, "bisexual" or "unlabelled"). I will not pander to all of you gay boys who continue to abuse yourselves and me with empty imitation and unexamined pursuit of archetypes—equally as perverse as those in the heterosexual world, but infinitely more damaging in our new refuge. Face it, we all know who's butch and who isn't. Sometimes, we can even "just tell" who's gay and who's not. Who cares! What I do care about is how all this pressure to be either 'this' or 'that'—but never 'those'—can affect one little brown gay man. Sissv bovs are weird •/ s* I am 13. I am with my parents at their friend's house. They have two daughters my age and we have developed a tenuous friendship based, as most are, on the mutual satisfaction of needs. But fragile things, especially relationships, tend to break. For years, I offer myself up as a sacrifice. I penitently endure, on behalf of all my "brethren," punishment for their—sorry, our—evil ways. They tease, pinch, cuff and generally ridicule me just because I am a boy. I, in return, simply enjoy their company. I not only embrace their catharsis, I share in it for I also hate boys and all they do to "us." The girls are at the beach, but I decide to stay the night. I've done it before. I wait anxiously for their arrival. They come home. We decide to go for a drive; it sounds like fun. We pile into their father's car and take off. We drive right up to my door. Their father gets out and I instinctively follow*—it is my house, continued on page 9 UBC Film Society Schedule SUB Theatre All Shows $3.00 February 4-6 7:00 The Bone Collector: 9:30 Dogma February 9 & 10 7:00 Pink Flamingos FilpHeUine: 822-3697 t\ -tn. a - -™ ft ■ • ir< w^-ams-ubcca/ciubs/sociaviiimsoc 9:30 American Movie/Coven • a ubyssey special issue • friday, february • 8 after all. He twists his face in pain, 'The girls don't think you should come over for 'slumber parties' anymore." After that, I know the rules. I must feign indifference, and God help me, act shy and slightly curious as though I don't understand these "strange creatures." I am 17 and will move to Toronto in two weeks. I escort one of them—not the one I really like, but the pretty one—to my school prom. It's all a farce. I may as well look the part. She does it as a favour, I know. My mother takes many pictures and smiles happily, although I swear her smile has a hint of ■melancholy. I don't really enjoy being with this girl anymore. All I can think about is that night when my childish illusions of maintaining an alternative— a safe world away from boys—escaped me like the damp of breath hitting cold air, appearing and then immediately dissolving silently and almost effortlessly. A new world? My sophomore year. My mother still cries once in a while and my father, well, we still don't speak of anything other than work and the weather. But they know I'm gay and damn the rest. I join the Bisexual, Lesbian and Gay Alliance. I grimace when, one after the other, friends who I have carefully concealed myself from casually retort when I finally come out. "I know, I'm glad you've finally decided to tell me." That pisses me off. We tentatively explore who we are as gay men together. Learning slowly to walk on our legs when we have been taught all our lives to walk on our hands. We begin to sit closely with one another at meetings as we have wanted to for years, holding each others' eyes and often hands (such a rebellion!). The gay varsity football players don't come to meetings, but they can always be found in the basement toilets through "glory holes" that reveal nothing but a blood swelled organ. No face or name—like most dicks. This is how they answer the equations: football = manly man = girlfriends = emptiness + anonymous sex with men = coping. I spent my life avoiding the sissy boys who looked like they would break my cover and the straight boys who looked like they would break my face. Now, I suddenly must learn who among the gay boys I'm supposed to kiss "hello" and who I'm just supposed to discreetly shake hands with. Just like before, there isn't much room for error. You learn fast not to kiss the "straight- acting, straight-looking." Proud gay man visits home After five years in Canada, this is the first and the last time I go back to Trinidad. I am scared and often feel lonely despite the warmth of my family's welcome to their nephew and cousin who is "gay." "Boy, wha yuh mean, what is dis gay business. Yuh mean yuh doh like girls at all? Boy, yuh know yuh's a good-looking fellow. Yuh doh have to be scared." The news of my "condition" arrives in Trinidad well before I step off the plane via a complex network of telecommunication satellites. Nevertheless, this nasty high-tech gossip proves advantageous (much to the dismay of Auntie Savi, the informant). "Boy, we thought how yuh did wear dresses an makeup an how yuh was jus like a girl. But yuh is just deh same as when yuh leave. Doh matter, if yuh like dem boys, dat is yuh business. But I still can't make out what a man could do wid a man." They're so sweet. Awitie Lilo makes a plan She has a seamstress, but he should be a tailor. Quite basic math for her and me. But Stevie, the seamstress, is not so impressed with the wonderful simplicity. "Who tell Auntie Lilo I is gay? Oh meg Gad. Look how deese people done get me into trouble." It takes an hour to calm him down, but after the trauma, I go over to his house, replete with lonely draperies and about eight gay boys. An hour before we leave for a fete for "us" people— both secret and roving—I watch as half of the party leave to primp their hair, put on makeup and skin-tight pants. This crew left behind are surprisingly "butch." Staring at me in their football shirts and shorts. No shiny red patent-leather shoes for these men—only Adidas and Nike for fine sportsmen. I suspect they want me and suddenly realise that the games are afoot and I've been stamped: I'm a femme to their butch...yin and yang and all that crap. How dare they label me! Apparently I've sent out a beacon—dare I say it, a "flaming" signal, "Won't some strong Trini brute take me?" I rebel viciously against this heterosexist construct. As soon as the "girls" return, I launch a vulgar assault on the cutest sissy boy of the bunch. I'm going to turn us into a lesbian couple even if I have to smudge his makeup (alright, mine too!). I bathe in his malodorous perfume and my eyes seem brighter when compared to his racoon eyes. His flamboyant caricature of "woman" becomes a foil to my more subtle androgyny. I appear more masculine as he clings gently to my arm. I later discover that there was a severe shortage of "butch fags" in Trinidad (most of them being older, married men who were strictly nocturnal, reserving their wives and children for day trips only). Blind euphoria I don't date caricatures of manhood. I date a respectable lawyer who wears nice suits and just happens to be gay. He blends into mainstream—maybe gay—society, but who knows for sure. So he dressed well. Unlike his last "friend" who, like him, was white and "straight-acting and looking," I am certainly not white and not really the other thing either. We stand out together—can't safely pass as "buddies"—so I can only meet half his friends. Oh well. Fading fast I am a 25-year-old man living in Toronto. This bitterness crept over me slowly like a rash leaving me raw and ugly. Don't ask me how I became like this. The best I can do is to recall this and that... The ocean of conformity With open sores and a broken spirit, I hunt for love and fulfillment, for the one that will apply the balm, which I have only had to this point in my secret fantasies. A child prodigy I was, creating images of same-sex love for a vacuum. Now I know exactly what gay men "are" and what I "should be." jtnchaeTajjgelo '.< s David' Go to the gym everyday. Smooth chest, milky complexion, thick thighs, shapely calves, beautiful triceps, biceps, pectorals, deltoids and ornamental tendons. (Who'd have thought that I would go through life in blissful ignorance, only to learn the scientific name of every major muscle in the male body on the very gay dance floor of Club Colby's?) Not only are we still men, we are hyper-male—hear us roar (or whimper as the case may be). Far cry from the limp wrists and swishy gait many imagine. w* B: "Calvin Klein Young, nubile, skinny, cute and white. Option C: 'JXhere, ami none. Soitv. The triumph of image... ...and my defeat. I want love but don't feel myself worthy of anything but sex. I walk into bedrooms looking for love with a beautiful face but instead find the stale smell of sex from the tissue-filled bin. I learn to practise the art of casual gay sex like a master. I become erudite at avoiding attachment, needing no emotion—just a good piece of ass. All too soon I forget what it was that I was once looking for. I lose myself in a gay male culture of desire that I did not choose or create, but for which I am entirely responsible. I dived down into a lake of cool blue looking for the warm water currents, but instead my body adusted to the water's chill. Suddenly, I am not a bright-eyed, bushy-tailed 17 year-old dreaming of a white picket fence and a long-time companion. I am 24 and wake up next to a stranger with my head about to explode from the pressure of rum and cigarettes and wonder whether I will get so much as a cup of tea before being shipped off. Still better than having to nurse him out of my bed and to the taxi stand. I guess everything they said (and didn't say) about gay men when I was growing up was true. Ignorant, but not l*G&llV \ I am not hard nor am I smooth-bodied. I am short and hairy and my body is a contradiction of bare bone in some places and soft fleshy parts in others—like a skinny Buddha. At least I can have my hair cropped short like a sailor and wear tight t- shirts to reveal my sinewy body—oh shit, I don't have a sinewy body. Signorile argued that the current cult of "body facism," epitomised by the advertisement of the David Barton Manhattan Gym ("No pecs, no sex"), is worse in the gay world than the straight world, in part because of the already existing inferiority gays inherit for being gay. As a compensation for this inner worthlessness, a man becomes a "great beauty" or finds himself attracted only to Adonises. Not everyone was down on "body facism." Scott O'Hara found the parties that excluded men on the basis of looking boring—"they all had a homogenous quality"—but he refused to lambaste them. "The word discrimination has gotten a bad rap. It used to mean you had taste." Whenever one of my straight friends used to lean over, get all serious, and say, "Why are gay men so promiscuous?", I used to retort, "Honey, why do you think? They're men who don't have to deal with women. Don't you think straight men would be fucking like rabbits if they didn't have to negotiate with women? It has nothing do with sexuality, that's why gay men have sex and lesbians get married." I am no longer flippant about the ways in which we men are disabled by social constructions of masculinity—both straight and gay. Margaret Atwood wrote in her novel Alias Grace, "Mary said I might be very young, and as ignorant as an egg, but I was bright as a new penny, and the difference between stupid and ignorant was that ignorant could learn." Here's hoping I'm ignorant and not stupid...and that there is a smooth-bodied, sinewy, nubile stud out there who will one day fall in love with me. Okay, so I have some work to do.»> ay, february 4, 2000• a ubyssey special issue- 27While Jesus was stiii Ionian frf0>90V^ s& von^h^^i^^^qf birtj lurs^jMou is blessed!" 2HJesus replied, "That's trie, b by Neil Fernyhough For those who attend church regularly, making announcements about events that interest the community is a routine part of the service. At Christ Church Anglican Cathedral on January 17, 1999, the priest acknowledged the 25th anniversary of a couple in the congregation. To applause, the two individuals stood up, and gave each other a kiss. Pretty standard stuff—except this time both members of the couple were men. The timing of this otherwise innocuous event is significant. The Cathedral is the "flagship" congregation of the Anglican Church in the Lower Mainland. It is the official parish of Bishop Michael Ingham, whose jurisdiction—the Diocese of New Westminster—extends north to the Sunshine Coast and east to Hope. Just a day earlier, Bishop Ingham had announced the start of a process of dialogue between t h e Anglican congregations, which many believe and hope vyiii1- lead tputhe blessing of" same-sex. unions in this part of Canada. Some months earlier, Anglicans from around the Lower Mainland met and narrowly approved a motion urging Ingham t§ ^authorise such a move, if approved, this could lead to the ordination of out, non-celibate gays and lesbians as Anglican clergy. In addition, this would likely lead to similar moves being made in other Anglican dioceses irf! Canc.da. and perhaps by the national church as a whole. The Anglican Church of Canada has already passed motions "celebrating" the ministry of gays arid lesbians within the Church, as well as approving partner benefits to gay and lesbian employee But the Anglican Church is nofl the first Christian body in Canada to move towards the inclusionpof queer people. This year will mark the 11th anniversary of the approval of the ordination of non-celibate gays and lesbians—including NDP MLA Tim Stevenson—by the United Church of Canada. It has also developed a blessing ceremony for same-sex unions. In Vancouver, there are a number of Anglican and United churches that openly welcome gays and lesbians as a part of their communities. In addition, there are other congregations—the Renaissance Church, the Rainbow Community Church, and the Metropolitan Community Church—which are largely directed towards the queer community. Despite ail this, the popular lierception by gays and lesbians remains that they cannot find a home in the Christian community. Many queers have bad memories fof being rejected by a conservative and judgmental church. Often their knowledge of Christianity (pomes from popular media focus- 11% on those elements of the Christian community that take an often violently aversive and prejudiced siance on homosexuality. Chuiches and other places of worship aie unique markers on the contemporary North American landscape In a society tncreas- lingly marked by cynical rational ism, cold materialism and isolating individualism, worshipping communities stand as centres that take experience, spirituality and community seriously. They may be one of the last places where one can freely engage in a community of radically diverse people—did. ajd young, rich and poor, gay and straight. Bruce Bawer, author of Stealing Jesus: How Fundamentalism Betrays Christianity mote that there are two kinds of Christian faith. One is based on the radical love proclaimed by Jesus while the other is based on harsh,);; judging legalism found in more isolated sections of the Bibles Certainly, all faith traditions have their progressive and fundamentalist strains, which help keep e|lhj other accountable. But progressive Christianity has recognised and accepted the faith's ei in the culture. It is open to integrating what society has learned and has been a consistent prophetic voice for including the excluded. For those inured to the message of most queer and mainstream media that Christianity is about hate and rejection, rather than love and indusion, it takes patieribe tqjjscerrfthe b%ad range of options. Indeed, t||p is*! temptation to discard all organised religion as a barrietstoJaith rattier than a sustainer of it. Iplliut queer people may want to invest the effort in educating themselves and maintaining an open mind. Many women and men are finding I f§jf just how fulfilling and transforming tapping into the spiritual dimension of their lives can be. The next step is realising the power of this spirituality through the nurturin|§f|pvided by a faith community, regardless of wiiich faith one believes in^ ighten up Gay men have finally been given back their libidos on network television. But wait—one of them is straight? In the September 30 episode of Action!, the recently-cancelled comedy depicting the behind-the-scenes goings- on in Hollywood's movie business, gay action star Cole Riccardi (Richard Burgi) performs oral sex on his producer, Peter Dragon (Jay Mohr). Peter is straight but pretends to be gay so he can bond with, and thereby convince, the actor not to come out before a multimillion-dollar action film begins shooting. I mmediately after the show aired, the ten o'clock news on Fox's Seattle affiliate, KCPQ, repeated the infamous "fellatio scene." The scene barely suggests Cole Riccardi leaning forward before immediately cutting to the producer puckering between the eyes. An arching eyebrow and unimaginative grunts conclude the scene. For all we know, the actor could have been tying his shoes, and the producer had dropped a coin. The news feature discussed whether Action! had pus hed the envelope too far. They interviewed parents who had cancelled their cable sub- scri ptions in order to protect their children from sex and violence on TV. They also reported that Fox, the netwofKo that produced the show-arjd advertised it as b||ng television's bleeding edge, had censored a second's worth;of footage from the corrilbver|ial scene. „; Lighten up% folks! ||s nq| as if we hadri| seen, heard and read abd|t President Clinton and his "lervice'ri^arv ager," Monica Lewinsky,- at least twice a day for the last 24 months. The Smithsonian is even considering exhibiting the infamous stained blue dress in the United States National Archive. Daily news has done far more than-*insin- uate—they've flat out shown more footage of sex and violence than most of us would care to see, everything from bloody bodies on the street to gory details of sex scandals. And now they're asking if primetime television is going too far? Come on. I mean, really. If anything could have prepared us for this "private display of affection," the news hour has already done a superb job. Homosexuals have been watching heterosexuals in action for ages. Talk about unfit role models. It's about time we saw some action among gay men and women on screen. Ever since the sexless and ever-so-righteous Matt on Melrose Place, it has become ; fashionable to throw in a few gay characters in primetime television. There's Ross, the. violin teacher who adopts a baby girl in Party of Five; Carter, the mayor's special assistant for minority affairs in Spin City, and Will and Jack in Will and Grace, the first and only primetime TV show featuring gay men as cjjjfjtra}' characters. Now, the latest tenant on Tinky Winky S.tre^t, Tinseltown: Ford from the new ABC sitcom Oh Grow U||w||| \ is (gasp!) a gay man who divorced his wife to come out, only to move in with his fliF straight college roommates who live, oddly, like a disgruntled old couple. And who could forget the first national coming out of Ellen DeGeneres, and her onscreen object of desire, Laura Dern? The lesbian kiss had gay and heterosexual audiences waiting season after season for that final but anti- climactic admission that the quirky bookstore owner who could never seem to get on the right side of Cupid was in fact looking for love (and sex) on the wrong side of the street. Without a doubt, they are EVERYWHERE! Soon, they'll take over Hollywood entirely. That is, if they haven't already. But there is one problem. Gay men and women on TV are neutered. They are either the bv Brian Lin it's onlyaRloWJOb i lead actress' best friend; !|,at guy with AIDS, opthe. hiir dresser slash-decora-*' tor hired to add color loor- dination to the call's wardrobe and, of course1, create controversy. In a world where controversy equals ratings and ratings equal 'dollars, homosexual charactej%, ■ are used merely for publicity, indeed we are seeing more members of the gay/lesbian/bisexual/tran'. "Sgendered/transsexual community on TV even if 90 per cent of the time they are screaming their wigs off on cheesy talk shows. Seeing that invisibility is the ultimate discrimination (like it or not), such exposure still contributes little by little to the gradual acceptance of queers in our society. On the other hand, reaffirming stereotypical ideas of gay men and women while avoiding any context of their sexual behavior is a sure sign of cowardice in confronting the real issue: the general public's fear of anything different and unfamiliar. Sure, when Ellen DeGeneres came out on national television, millions of people tuned in to Fiee the standup comedi- "an-turned-actress stumble all over herself trying to explain to her parents her "affiliation" with her "special friend." And perhaps if Rosie O'Donnell comes out on her talk show, millions will tune in for the * confession. But once the shock value subsides, the insatiable audience will undoubtedly turn to something even more stimulating. Then, homosexual characters will be relegated to yesterday's news, just like the first time a married couple sat on the same bed on TV, or the first time a black man tongue-kissed a white woman in front of a national audience. What offends me most about gay characters on TV is not so much that they never have sex, but that their sexuality is the sole definition of their existence. Homosexuality has become more of an occupation than a sexual preference. People may find it hard to believe (and guess whose fault that is), but most homosexual men and women have a life out side of their bedrooms—or whatever exotic places they have sex. As much as the public would like to think that gays have fantastic and kinky sex every day and night of the year, most members of the gay community hold boring jobs, make uninteresting friends, pay their phone bills and have bad hair days just like the rest of the population. Heck, half of my gay friends don't even know what color coordination means. So when a sitcom purportedly sets out to "expose the absurdity of Hollywood's cutthroat movie business," and shows a manipulative producer taking advantage of his actor's trust and getting "rewarded" for it, instead of over-reacting and declaring that the world's morality is coming to an end, here's a little news flash: it's showbiz, people! None of it is true. And the little bit that they are showing on TV can't even begin to demonstrate what really goes on in this big, wild world of ours.<» -a ubyssey special issue • friday, february 4, 2(3 As I reflect on my past working as an escort, I wish there was someone to guide me, support me, and teach me the tricks of the trade along the way. Because the trade is undercover, no written resources exist to guide escorts. This interview aims to reach out to fellow escorts and to break down stereotypes and stigmas associated with the job. We can also achieve this by talking openly about the work that escorts do and educating the public about issues that are relevant to people working in the trade. What do you mean when you say you're a lesbian feminist? By lesbian, I mean that I identify as a womyn who loves womyn. Actually, I identify more as a femme lesbian. As a feminist, I believe in womyn's rights—that womyn should have the same rights as men. I also believe in prostitution rights—that prostitution rights are womyn's rights. But If you are a feminist, how can you be an escort? I believe that escorting can be a very feminist action. It's saying, "I'm in charge of my body, and I'm not going to fit into other people's image of who I should be." That also ties in with being a lesbian—it's the same thing. I'm not going to fit into somebody else's mould. I know many feminists would argue that escorting might promote rape and violence against womyn. To be honest, I have no idea whether or not that is true. I haven't done any research on that. Why escorting? I think for a lot of womyn, they do it because they don't have the same earning power as men. Although they may have a regular job, they need to supplement their income, particularly if they have dependents. You earn a lot of money escorting. I don't see it as any different than when a womyn sucks up to get something from a boyfriend. Escorting is a lot less manipulative—it's a business transaction. The cards are on the table. Do you see being a lesbian and being an escort as contradictory? No, I don't find it contradictory at all. Because lesbians and escorts are both on the fringes of society, we share a lot more freedom than straight womyn and people who don't work in the sex trade. We don't face a lot of the expectations that are common in the straight world. But don't you conform to the expectations of your clients? I've come to a point in my life as an escort where I think, "Fuck this." I don't have to rely on my looks and my beauty to please men. I have personality, charm, and intelligence that absolutely enthralls them. They think, "How can you—attractive and intelligent—possibly be an escort?" Actually, it's my lesbian friends who have taught me to place less value on my appearance. Through my job, I've learned that beauty is very subjective. One man might say I'm drop-dead gorgeous, while another might say I'm ugly as hell. In the end, it comes down to what I think of myself. I don't see myself as a whore. I see myself as an intelligent person with a lot of different interests and a lot of potential. Sleeping with a person is independent of what's in your heart. I sleep with men because that's where the market is. So you think people might Judge you because of what you do? Yes, I know people will judge me. There is a lot of stigma associated with this profession. Unfortunately, I think society as a whole sees sex as something shameful. Sex is taboo. So can you imagine what they must think of escorting? Society's values are deeply rooted in religion, which also condemns homosexuality. You can see the similarities between being an escort and being queer. People often see me as only an escort. It's just like when I tell people that I'm a lesbian—all they see is my sexual identity. This job has really taught me not to judge other people.* The cycle of invisibility: gay and Greek don't always mix by Jonathan Abourbih You probably wonder whether the words "queer" and "frat" belong together at all. For most people, the word "fraternity" likely conjures images of big parties, football games, road trips, and lots of women. Those of us who are Greek likely imagine the sense of brotherhood or sisterhood, bonding with our pledge brothers or sisters, and late-night conversations about everything from sports to school to relationships. But gay? It stands to reason that if ten percent of the population at large has some degree of same-sex attraction, then, naturally, the same statistic could apply to the men and women of UBC's Greek system. So, why is it that according to a UCLA study, more than 60 per cent of gay or lesbian Greeks don't reveal their sexual orientations to even one brother or sister during their college careers? Is it the fear of being ostracised by their closest and dearest friends? The fear of ostracism is one that all gays and lesbians have to face. But in an environment where fag jokes can be the norm, coming out to your brothers or sisters can be daunting. It's especially so when you consider the reason why most people go Greek in the first place: the promise of brotherhood or sisterhood, friends "no matter what," and a sense of belonging to a group with common values. If the people whom you regard as your closest friends shun you, who's left? This is what thrusts most gay and lesbian Greeks into "the cycle of invisibility." Cass Johnson, a writer for UCLA's gay and lesbian student newspaper, Ten Percent, coined the term in a 1979 article about homophobia in UCLA's Greek system. Incidents like the one surrounding an October 1998 Pi Kappa Alpha/Alpha Chi Omega co-sponsored homecoming float at Colorado State University are extremely visible reminders to gay Greeks of their situation. The float, consistent with the parade's Wizard of Oz theme, depicted a scarecrow with the words "I'm gay" painted on the face and "Up my ass" on the back. The float referred to the recent attack on University of Wyoming student Matthew Shepard, who then lay dying in a Fort Collins, Colorado hospital. Shepard's killers were motivated in part by his sexual orientation when they pistol-whipped him until they had crushed his skull, and then hung him like a scarecrow from a nearby fence. Immediately after the float incident, the CSU chapters of Pi Kappa Alpha and Alpha Chi Omega had their charters revoked, but the horror of this spectacle still echoes among gay Greeks everywhere, and serves as a grim reminder that they are not welcome members of the community. The cycle continues. This incident involves just two chapters at one school, and (according to the fraternity and sorority involved) is only due to the actions of a few members. But less public incidents of intolerance occur every day. They occur when brothers toss around phrases like "fucking faggot," or "that's so gay" in casual conversation. These things occur often in fraternities and sororities across North America, and UBC is not immune to these feelings of intolerance. It is this more subtle form of discrimination that keeps brothers and sisters in the closet, perpetuating the cycle of invisibility. '■■*"> Unfortunately, few fraternities and sororities are doing anything to break the cycle at an international level. Although all fraternities and sororities have comprehensive member education programs that cover such public issues as alcohol, drug abuse and hazing, few address the issue of sexual orientation. Of the fraternities represented at UBC, only Beta Theta Pi's Men of Principle program recommends that chapters address sexual orientation issues, and only Sigma Chi recognises sexual orientation in its "Human Dignity Statement." Sigma Chi's policy is a step in the right direction, but still a far cry from the actions taken by one non-UBC fraternity, Sigma Phi Epsilon. Recently, Sig Ep amended its membership eligibility bylaws to prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation. In addition, it provides training on gay issues for its travelling leadership consultants and member education materials to present to its chapters. The rest of the Greek system could learn a lesson from Sig Ep. That only two out of the 15 Greek societies at UBC provide even minimal support at an international level for gay members is disheartening. Given that all fraternities and sororities claim to be progressive organisations, they should be willing to substantiate this claim from the top down. Despite the inaction of the international fraternities and sororities, other groups have made several strides towards ending this type of discrimination in the Greek system. Both the Association of Fraternity Advisors and the Western Regional Greek Conference have adopted resolutions encouraging fraternities and sororities to create member education programs on homophobia. Additionally, in 1995, Shane Windmeyer, a Phi Delta Theta alumnus from Emporia State University in Kansas, founded the Lambda 10 Project (www.lambdalO.org) in an effort to combat the homophobic attitudes prevalent in today's Greek system. Since then, he has co-edited two anthologies on belrig'gay and Greek—one directed at men and the other directed at women. Pride UBC has a copy of the first book, Out on Fraternity Row, and the second, Secret Sisters, is due to be published in Spring 2001. Our Greek system at UBC is no more homophobic than any other Greek system at any other North American university. In fact, UBC is lucky to have a Greek system that is as culturally diverse, accepting, and responsible as ours. There is still, however, much work that can be done both locally and on an international level to help fraternities and sororities break the cycle of invisibility. Only by recognising the problem and working hard to break the cycle can our fraternities and sororities help their members to grow as people.♦ BAR & GRILL IN KITSILANO 2202 CORNWALL AVE 737-7777 Half Price ina n.?ht! Half Pricc ; flppcnzcRs! ! 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COUPON $2 Off ■lip II II II COUPON 10 % off I anyMrat || products I wmi/n/n.ftiNM'iiittMia | | JgHaMI/H'lllldhlllimll 37oTvrireiidwav. 222-3331 imVlwmiwmTwTmil ^het tionnaire If the gender of your sexual partner is not the same as your own, then you should be aware that you are different from a significant portion of the population. Have you thought about why you are attracted to a different gender? Are you comfortable with your sexuality? Perhaps completing this questionnaire will help you think about these things. Please answer all questions as honestly as possible. 1. When and how did you first decide that you were a heterosexual? 2. What do you think caused your heterosexuality? 3. Is it possible that your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of the same sex? P.f 4. If you've never slept with a person of the same sex, is it possible that all you need is a good gay lov6r? 5. To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies? How did they respond? 6. Why do heterosexuals insist on flaunting their help erosexuality? Can't you just be who you are and keep it quiet? 7. Why do heterosexuals feel compelled to seduce others into their lifestyle? 8. Would you want your children to be heterosexual knowing the problems they would face in society? 9. A disproportionate majority of child molesters are heterosexuals. Do you consider it safe to expose your children to heterosexual teachers? 10. Even with all the societal support that heterosexual marriage receives, the divorce rate is spiraling, with over half of all marriages failing. Why are so few heterosexual relationships stable? 11. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex? p f.'lji.' Considering the menace of overpopulation, how : could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual like you? 13. Could you trust a heterosexual therapist to be objective? 14. How can you be a full person if you limit yourself to compulsive and exclusive heterosexuality and fail to develop your natural, healthy homosexual potential? 15. There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed which enable you to change if you really want to. Have you considered aversion therapy? 16. How do you feel about the term "straight?" Do you feel that it adequately defines who you are? 17. Do you see your sexuality as being centra} to your sense of identity? Cops and moms agree, the Ubyssey, SUB 241K date Feb. ?-9 ► Fine Art Fantasy < place 1KB - ls+ Floor hours flLDUFE < > Giant-Sized Posters 'It last day S- B «Z\s& Frames & Hangers < ► Film Photography MOOOs of Posters THE IIVI INU POSTER SALE