Issued Twice Wcekjy by the Students1 Publications Board of The University of British Columbia. vol. xra. VANCOUVER, B. C, MARCH 17th, 1931 No. 36 LS.E. Aspirants Present Plans SEVEN COMPETE FOR OFFICE WOULD-BE PRESIDENTS of the L.S.E. revealed their platforms to the members of the A.M.S. last Friday noon in the Auditorium. The seven candidates are: Charles T. Armstrong, E. A. Clarke, St. John Madeley, John McLennan, Sidney Semple, Chris J. Taylor and William H. L. Whimster. Jack McLennan emphasized no definite platform, but believed his ex- Serience would in some measure fit im for the office. He has had a three- year business training outside the University. Bill Cameron supported McLennan, and pointed out the letter's experience as a member of the Playersf Club for two years. Sidney Semple stated his policy would be not only to develop the or- tanizations under the control of the .S.E. but also to awaken interest in public speaking. He has definite plans for the revival of a new interest in this field, he said. Maurice DesBrisay emphasized Semple's interest in activities on the Campus. He was President of the Sophomore class last year and the Chairman of the Arts '32 Valedictory Gift Committee. He also instituted the Arts '32 Oratorical Contest. Candidate Favors Glee Club William Whimster presented a record of his activities while he has attended the University for the last two years. He has been a member of the Players' Club and Debating Union during these years and has had contact with the Musical Society. Charles Armstrong, past president of the A.M.S. at Victoria College, stated that if he were elected some means would be devised to arouse the Debating Union. He also favored a Glee Club. "It has been my luck to be the fifth candidate to speak," said Chris Taylor, "and all my platform is included in those of the preceding speakers." In speaking for Taylor, J. Plant told the audience that Taylor, an active member of the Players' Club, was undoubtedly the right man for President of the L.S.E. "And remember," he said in conclusion, "You are not voting for me, you are voting for Chris Taylor." Book Exchange Proposed St. John Madeley stated that if he were elected he would not only attempt to remove any friction between the Players' Club and the Musical Society but he would also inaugurate a new system of inter-class debating. He believed that a second-hand book exchange would help students at the first of the year. E. A. Clarke, supported by Archie Dick, was the last candidate to speak, and said that the planks in his platform had been stated by the other candidates. Dick stated that Clarke was the one who could fill the position of President of L.S.E. to the satisfaction of everyone. Ted Clarke is a member of the Players' Club. Highlights Of The Inter-Class Track Meet Varsity Editors Return To Work In the Fall of 1880 the first issue of the Varsity appeared as a weekly edition, and since then it has gradually developed until now it is issued on a daily basis, five times a week. This year, therefore, marks the fiftieth anniversary of the establishment of the Varsity and in order to commemorate this event, the Joint Executive has decided to resume publication of the Varsity and to co-operate with the members of the regular Varsity staff in producing a sixteen or twenty page issue. It will be almost entirely historical in nature and will contain many interesting features such as contributions by former graduates who have attained Dominion wide reputation, photos of former scenes around the University Campus and resumes of the past fifty years in the various activities of the University such as sports, etcetera. Extra copies of this issue may be had at a cost of ten cents. DlCKSAfiANttA KEPT £ACH OTHe*. company inthc 3Miu flPoFF. 6AN5eRWON INTM6 IAST l»«r7UP». Ti Notable Patrons Give Recital To Club Two of the Players' Club's most distinguished patrons paid the cast and associates of 'The Young Idea" a surprise visit on "closing night." Arriving in Vancouver on the morning of the 14th, Miss Edith Wynn Matthison and her husband, Charles Rann Kennedy, saw the performance on Saturday night, and afterwards adjourned to "Woodholme," where Mr. and Mrs. F. G. C. Wood were hosts to the protagonists of youthful ideas. Miss Matthison is well-known in the world of the drama, having played opposite Sir Henry Irving and Sir H. Beerbohm Tree. She entertained the company with several recitations, and those who heard her rendering of Shakespeare's "When in disgrace with fortune," found their appreciation of the sonnet immensely increased. Mr. Kennedy amused the company with anecdotes and reminiscences of English stage celebrites. This is the second performance of the Players' Club to be attended by Miss Matthison and Mr. Kennedy. They were here in 1924, when they witnessed the successful comedy, "The World and his Wife," continuing an association with the club which has been valued by all. LOST—On tennis court. Tennis racquet in steel press and canvas cover; also three tennis balls. Finder please return to Book Store or Kathleen Mc- Dermot. Coming Events TODAY: MARCH 17— Council Election, Council Office, 10 to 4. Meeting of combined Senior classes, Arts 100, noon. Track Club Meeting, Arts 108, noon. Address by Prof. F. G. C. Wood, Union College, 4 p.m. WEDNESDAY, MARCH 18— Last day for nominations for President, Secretary, and Treasurer of Artsmen's Undergrad. Senior "A" Basketball, Ada- nacs-Varsity. New Westminster. THURSDAY, MARCH 19— Second Basketball Game with U. of Alta., Varsity Gym., 7:30 p.m. FRIDAY, MARCH 20— Meeting of Artsmen's Undergrad. MONDAY, MARCH 22— Nominations for officers of Class of '32 due. Elections take place following Wednesday. APRIL 10— Examinations. DALHOUSIE UNIVERSITY The third intercollegiate Model Assembly of the League of Nations was held at Acadia University February 2(> and 27. This assembly was attended by 50 students representing the universities of U.N.B., Mount A., King's, St. Mary's, Dalhousie and the host college Acadia. M.U.S. Speakers Address Voters The candidates for the position of President of the Men's Undergrad Society, Ken Beckett, Jack Thomson, and Bob Wallace, presented their platforms to a small audience in App. Science 100 at noon Monday. Beckett divided his platform into three divisions, social functions, discipline in the university, and voting on Council. He stated that he agreed with the report of the committee working on the program for social functions, and thought that any functions that would bring the various faculties into closer conjunction would be for the good of the University. In his opinion, fines are not the best way to maintain discipline on the campus. Another plank in his platform was that surplus from class fees should be saved for future use by the class, and should not be turned over to the Alma Mater Society. His supporters stated that he has had much executive experience. Thomson said that as Treasurer of the Alma Mater Society he has come in touch with all branches of student activity, and although he did not believe in making promises that he might not be able to keep, yet if he were elected he would do all in his power to fill the position to the best of his ability. His supporters stated that he had held various executive positions before coming to Varsity, and as Treasurer of the Artsmen's Undergrad and the Alma Mater Society this vear he has gained an insight into all student affairs. Bob Wallace based his platform on stating that he would attempt to stir up enthusiasm at University games and functions. He suggested a Pep Band and season's tickets to all games. He also said that he would try to get official sanction for the Victoria invasion in future years. His supporters remarked that he is essentially a live- wire, and while attending Victoria College was Editor of the Annual, and President of the Literary Society. At Varsity he has been a member of the Letters' Club and the Mathematics Club, and has taken a keen interest in athletics on the campus. Saturday Set as Final Date For Discount on "Totems" TOTEM Saturday is the last day students will be able to get their Totems at the discounted price. After March 21st. the Annual will cost $2.00. Receipts will be given at Aud. 303 from 10 a.m. to 11 a.m. or from 12 noon too 1 p.m. Student making trip by automobile from 11th Avenue and Main, to 25th and Main, along 25th to Oak, and then to Varsity by 12th Avenue, has room for several passengers. Anyone interested please communicate with Janet Hughes by letter rack. Comedy Termed Good Vehicle By Critic Now that the Players' Club presentation has come and gone it is time for the critic to unsheath his pen and write concerning the merits and the demerits of the production. Firstly he will delve into the play and examine it closely. The sparkling lines and excellently contrived situations of Noel Coward's "The Young Idea" provided the Club with a vehicle that was easily within its bounds to produce in first class professional style. With the exception of a few minor details there was hardly a trace of amateurishness throughout. The dialogue so ably written by Coward was well handled, while the constantly recurring comic scenes had the last possible laugh "squeezed out." Marjorie Ellis and Alfred Evans easily took the honors for the evening in the presentations of the characters of Gerda and Sholto. These two kept the audience in a continual state of laughter by their precocious antics. Evans, who appeared in "Polly With a Past" and "Rollo's Wild Oat," made » welcome return to the Players' Club stage. His polished acting and clever byplay added greatly to the smoothness of his role. He made all that was possible of both his lines and his actions to such an extent that the house applauded him in the middle of the act. Marjorie Ellis, with her alert way of hood-winking unsuspecting parents and very very English people, won fresh laurels for her histrionic career. She made her part equal to any outstanding performance of the Club in the four years that the writer has been viewing the work of the University players. Bill Cameron, as George Brent, the father of the two irresistible youngsters, gave his role the much needed maturity that is often lacking in Players' Club presentations. His voice suited the character admirably. At times he grimaced in such a manner that his moustache appeared in the wrong position. Apart from this one defect in his characterization his performance was surprisingly well done for a newcomer to the boards. Ann Ferguson in the part of "Prith- illa" was the best of the minor roles. Her characterization indicated that she had lost none of the old touch in (Continued on Page 2) Dirom And Cleveland Elected To Council By Acclamation ELECTION FOR OTHER POSITIONS TO TAKE PLACE TODAY GAVIN Dirom and Howard Cleveland were elected by acclamation to the offices of President of Men's Athletic Society and Junior member when nomination closed. Gavin Dirom has been prominent in track meets starring for two years in that field. He has been the most spectacular man in the backfield that has played on the Canadian rugby team. . Howard Cleveland also hails from the athletic side of the Co-Ed Candidates Outline Policies As candidates for the office of President of the Women's undergraduate Society Jean Cameron and Dorothy Myers outlined their platforms Monday noon in Arts 100. Jean Cameron declared herself in favour of the candle ceremony for initiation being worked into a real tradition. The Big Sister Movement she felt should be sustained throughout the year, as freshettes often need advice in the second term. She hopes to see the Women's Union Building near completion, thus "fulfilling a long cherished ideal." A "get-together" banquet at the close of the year would be a fitting close to the Women's activity. She then declared she would give earnest consideration to her vote on Council. Dorothy Myers favoured the serious initiation of Freshettes, and a continuation of the Big Sister Movement. She hoped to carry on the out- of-town teas as part of the women's activities. She felt that informal suppers should be held throughout the year to get all the girls acquainted. She hoped to make a definite start next year on the Women's Union Building. Her vote on Council would be used only after consideration. The first speaker in support of Jean Cameron was Hilda Bone, who outlined the candidate's past experience. As vice-president of the Women's Undergrad. last year and of her class in its Sophomore year, Jean Cameron gained considerable knowledge of executive work. She also won the first Oratorical Contest, and proved herself a good sport when she played on the Grass Hockey team for two years. The second supporter for Jean Cameron, Mary Fallis, pointed out that students can best obtain student-government by electing a representative vvho could best interpret their feeling. By her wide experience in various activities on the campus, the speaker declared that Jean Cameron could most ably do this. Helen Lowe, as the first supporter for Dorothy Myers, appealed especially to the Freshettes. She stressed the importance and honour of the position. As secretary of Sophomore year and secretary of the W.U.S. last year, Miss Myers came in contact with all branches of the work. Rhuna Os- bourne endorsed her remarks, and added that Miss Myers' conscientious work made her worthy of the office. (Continued on page 2 University. Playing full-back for the McKechnie Cup team and being on the v men's athletic executive he has proven his interest in that field. He was president of the Freshman class of 1933. Nominations for other positions are in the hands of the Students' Council, and the platforms of these candidates have been presented in the "Ubyssey." The competitors for the position of treasurer are Bill Schults and Mark Collins; for the position of Secretary, Cecilia Long and Enid Wyness. The presidency of the Men's Undergrad. is being sought by Jack Thomson, present Treasurer, Ken Beckett and Robert Wallace. Record Vote Expected A host of names greets the voter's eye for the L.S.E. which include: Madeley, Semple, Taylor, McLennan, Armstrong, Clarke, and Whimster. Those in running for the presidency of the Womert's Undergraduate Society are Jean Cameron and Dorothy Myers; for the position of Women's Athletic Society, Irene Ramage and Isabelle McArthur. Elections will be held today,. Tuesday, between the hours of ten and four. Judging from the poll counted in the election for President of the Alma Mater Society a record vote is expected. All those who can cast a ballot are exhorted by the Council to turn out and cast. NOMINATIONS NOW DUE FOR ARTSMEN'S UNDERGRAD As the annual meeting of the Arts- men's Undergraduate Society takes place on Friday, March 20, nominations must be in by five o'clock on Wednesday. At the meeting a president, a secretary, and a treasurer will be elected, and the annual reports will be given. Papers for nomination must be in the hands of Don Davidson, secretary, by five o'clock Wednesday, March 18, and may be addressed to him via the letter rack in the Arts Building. Secrecy Veils Forum Meeting Secrecy veils the next meeting of the Literary Forum which will be held Tuesday noon in Arts 105. All members are requested to be present. Those who have not yet paid the fees (25c) are reminded that they must be paid by March 17. Nominations for president and secretary-treasurer should be given to the secretary, Kay Crosby, as soon as possible. All women wishing to join are requested to send in their applications immediately to the secretary, Kay Crosby, Club Holds French Bridge Bridge in the French language was the program last Tuesday evening when Dr. and Mrs. Sever received the French Club, L'Alouette." The next meeting, to which all new members are invited, will take place this evening, Tuesday, March 17 at 8 p.m. at the home of Dean Bollert, 1185 West 10th Avenue. WIDE EXCHANGE LIST RECEIVED BY UBYSSEY A large and varied assortment of exchange papers is received daily by the "Ubyssey." Included in these are dailies, bi-weeklies, and weeklies from all parts of Canada, and from the Western United States; while more rarely copies are received from Hawaii, Australia and New Zealand. The following Canadian college publications are received;—dailies: 'McGill Daily," McGill University, Montreal; "The Varsity," University of Toronto; semi-weeklies: "Queen's Journal," Queen's University, Kingston, Ontario; weeklies: "The Manitoban," University of Manitoba, Winnipeg; "The Gateway," University of Alberta, Edmonton; "Dalhousie Gazette," Dalhousie University, Halifax; "Gazette," Univej- sity of Western Ontario, London; "The Argosy Weekly," Mount Allison University, Mt. Allison, N.B.; "The Xaverian Weekly," St. Francis Xav- ier University, Antigonish, N. S.; "The McMaster Silhouette," McMas- ter University, Hamilton, Ontario; "The Sheaf," University of Saskatchewan, Saskatoon; semi-monthly: "The Quill," Brandon College, Brandon, Manitoba. Copies of "Le Quar- tier Latin," the official mouthpiece of the University of Montreal, are also received. "Ka Leo o Hawaii," from the University of Hawaii serves to give knowledge of that university, while "Honi Soit" does the same for Sydney University, Sydney, Australia. A list of the American papers received will appear soon. SENIOR CTASS MEETS TO-DAY A meeting of the combined Senior Classes will be held to-day, Tuesday, March 17, at noon, in Arts 100. Important business will be discussed concerning the various graduation events, the election of a permanent executive and a Valedictorian. This is the last combined meeting and all Seniors are urged to attend to make it a success. Awards Made for Song Contest The awards for the recent Song Contest held by the Women's Undergraduate Society were given to William V. Gibson, Victoria College nnd Vera Peters. Arts '33, who tied for first place. The winning contestants were awarded $4 each. THE UBYSSEY March 17,1931 Wbt WLtymv (Member of Paelfle Intw-ColUgiaU Press Association) Issued rrttj Tuesday and Frldar by the Student Publications Board of tho University of British Columbia, W«t Point Qrer. Phono, Point Gror Ml Mall Subscriptions rata; 13 por year. Advertising ratat on application. EDITOR-IN-CHIEF—Hlmio Koshevoy _ , Editorial Staff a ,.-.,. Senior Edltont Baulo Robortaon and Edgar Brown Associate Edlton i Margaret Craolman, Malrl Dingwall. Kay Murray and Nick Mussallem. . . _.. 8port Associates! Olive Selfe, O. Hamlin, W. Lea. Assistant Edlton: Mollle Jordan, R. Harcourt, Art McKensle and Cecil Brennan »u Feature Editort Bunny Pound Exchange Edlton Kay Murray Literary Editort Prance. Lucas. Aulatant Literary Editort Michael Freeman Cartooniiti W. Tavender __.... _ News Manager t Himie Koehovoy "•Port*"'Norman Hacking. Don Davidson, R. L. Malkin, Day Washington, B. Jackson, '•■LJMPWH; Kay Greenwood, Jeannt Butorao, J. Millar. St. John Madeley, Edith Malntoth, B. Coetaln, Eleanor Klllam, Jean McDlarmid, John Dauphinee. Tom How, Jean JamWeon, Berna Martin, Dorothy Thompson, Anna Fulton, Sidney Aqua, Kay Crosby and E. N. Akerley Uurel Rowntree, £. H. King, N. Nemeti Baelneat Staff . . _, , „ BueinaM Manager t John W. Fo« Advertising Manager: Jack Turvey. Circulation Managert Reg. Price. Advertising Assistants t A. C. Lake and A. Kennedy Business Assistants) Alf Allen, C. Cole, M. Alexander and J. Bardsley M. Millar, J. Cox, Phil Parker. Edltors-for-the-Issue t " Senior t Bessie Robertson Associates: Kay Murray. Margaret Creelman Assistant: Molly Jordan Sport Editor: M. McOjregor Pre-election Preamble An Effort to Stir Criticism The Editor, the "Ubyssey," Dear Sir:— . * , I sympathise with "A. Fabian" in his efforts to provoke discussion about this country's attitude towards Russia. Perhaps this letter from "The Spectator" of February 21, will stimulate criticism. Yours sincerely, R. H. SPURRIER. Students go to the polls today to choose the personnel of next year's Council. After a week of ballyhoo meetings and other forms of pre-election propaganda the masses should be able to climb the long stairs to the local two by four Olympus with their minds made up as to exactly which spot should be marked with the fatal X. It may seem a little farcical for the "Ubyssey" to remind its readers of the gravity of the occasion, to recite the old rigamarole about the blessings and privileges of student self-government and the immense responsibility which will be entrusted to the new executive. Student self-government has been revealed in all its futility during the past month. Yet with a president pledged to fight for the old ideal of student control of student affairs it is remotely possible that some progress will be made next year. Personal friendships and antipathies should have no part in deciding the elections. The new executive should be selected because of its ability to discharge its duties and its willingness to support the cause of the students against outside interference. Woodman, Spare That Tree! Unrivalled opportunities for improving the approach to the University have been lost with the cutting down of the trees in the endowment area. We understand that this action was taken on the complaint of several residents in this district that the trees obstructed their view of the gulf, also that the wild growth was a harbor for caterpillars. Although the destruction of the trees does undoubtedly remove the cause of both these complaints, yet the beauty of the grounds has been unquestionably destroyed by the action. The endowment area is as yet sparsely populated, especially close to the main boulevard and the broad, bare expanse, adorned by innumerable stumps, presents an ugly approach to the University. Yet authorities argue that there will be an increase in the sale of property now that the growth is removed, thus netting increased revenues from these lands for the University itself. This may or may not be true—time will tell; but we know for fact that there are several residents in this government area who regret the destruction of the trees around their homes. Such nature lovers argue that in the development of any residential section it is not necessary to destroy the surrounding trees and shrubs—valuable things which require years of time to produce. More than ever today there is a growing interest in the care and preservation of forest and wild places in general, and a coming appreciation of the half wild parks and public gardens of towns, and because ef this we feel that little financial loss would have been incurred if the trees had been allowed to stand. In the development of such a tract as that within the University gates it would seem not only an artistic advantage but an economic benefit to preserve as much as possible of the natural stretch of woodland. RUSSIAN TIMBER CAMPS (To the Editor of the 'Spectator'). Sir:—Might I be permitted to put before your readers a neglected point of view on this widely-discussed question? The difference between what is going on in Russia and the conditions In England to-day is that whatever occurs In the U.S.S.R. is done by the will of the Soviet and is an incident in their plan of industrialisation, whereas the appalling conditions prevailing In England which are sapping the life of the country and causing untold suffering and embltterment have not been brought about consciously by any of our Governments nor are they due entirely to world conditions but also to the decline of that spirit of courage and enterprise which was once the proud boast of Great Britain. Many of our leading newspapers appear to be more concerned about happenings In Russia than conditions in this country. Twelve months ago we were urged by a prominent portion of the press to protest vigorously against the religious oppression of the Russians, and the feelings of our clergy and other Christian people were worked up to a high pitch of Indignation. This made no appreciable difference to the policy of the Soviet as regards their churches, and, similarly, nothing we ean say or do will affect the conditions In the timber camps; so the only practical result of our Interference In these matten Is to further engender a spirit of hatred between the Russians and ourselves and to injure trade relations with Russia to our own great loss and to the advantage of other countries. We should also think of the effect It Is bound to have on those young Britishers and Russians who have just left school and are beginning to read newspapers; for it to be constantly suggested to them at the start of their careers that each is the enemy of the other, the Soviet intriguing against us In every part of our Empire, and Great Britain bent on a Sollcy of getting rid of a united formidable tussla: even our best friends in Russia are convinced that the British as a nation are determined to break the power of the Soviet by every possible means. Are we not sowing the seeds of another devastating war In the not very distant future? Is there no way by which a modernised unified Russia can be made compatible with a contented and prosperous British Empire? After all the Russians are only exhibiting the same determination to overcome obstacles that our forefathers did when they opened up the world's commerce and trade a century ago. These ploneen suffered untold hardships and many were sacrificed, but England went steadily on. Ten years from now will show what modern England Is capable of, and whether the Soviet or ourselves will be the more successful in bringing about better and happier living conditions for their people as a whole. ■ In any event it Is surely clear that we should be careful not to accept uncritically everything adverse which we read about Russia. It was a little disturbing a year ago to discover that the religious atrocities which were being used in certain sections of our press to stimulate feeling were for the most part not recent atrocities, but something which occurred Immediately following upon the revolution when the country was in a state of chaos. A Russlnn Bishop living In London udmitted to my personal knowledge that he had made use of such out-of-date stories, I am. Sir, etc., HENRY E. METCALF Junior Carlton Club, S.W. 1. A Pat for the Back Page Editor, "Ubyssey" Dear Sir:— I would like to express my appreciation ot the Sports Page of the "Ubyssey." This is the first year in which the policy of devoting a special page to sports has been Instituted, and there is no doubt that it has met with success. The treatment of sports events is original, breezy and concise, and Is very refreshing In Its Informality. The editorial comments on university sports are timely and succeed in giving the average student an excellent Idea of what Is going on In all branches of athletics. The Sports Page as a new institution has its faults, of course. For instance, accuracy is sometimes sacrificed for effect, and some of the references, especially in the headlines, are vague to the average reader. These defects will certainly disappear in the course of time. Only a few initiates realize the tremendous amount of work involved In producing a com- Slete sports page twice a week. The sports staff as to be thoroughly organised, to "cover" every game, to write the reports In a fresh style, to determine the "news value" of the different stories, and to write novel and appropriate "heads." In addition, the Sports Editor must have a thorough knowledge of all sports activities and the ability to criticise and comment. It is always very easy to And fault with something new, but much harder to suggest something better. The Sports Page has got off to a flyfctg start this year, and should be warmly congratulated on Its achievement. —OLD TIMER Does Charity Begin at Home? Editor, "Ubyssey" Dear Sirs— Now that the students have succeeded In raising a large percentage of the 920,000 Stadium objective, I think that they are entitled to some Idea of how the money Is being spent. I think that I am right in saying that very few of the students know whether the work is In charge of a contractor, or whether It is being done by day labor under a paid foreman. We all know that one of the objects of building the Stadium at the present time, is to provide work for the unemployed. As charity Is supposed to begin at home, will there be any chance of our own students finding employment on the project during the five months' vacation period? There is a very large group of students at this University whose education depends entirely on their summer earnings, and from the present outlook there will be many students financially unable to return here next fall. I know that several students would jump at the chance of employment on their own project and I am sure that for their four dollars a day they would support a pick and shovel just as enthusiastically and artistically as the older members of the profession. Yours sincerely, NORMAN F. BROOKS. Be. '33. rrs time to think of your Easter suit—make it a Semi-Ready Suit this time—absolutely Canada's outstanding clothing— by far the best in the long run—and it's the long run that counts— SOLE AGENTS Turpln Broi. Ltd. MEN'S OUTFITTERS 655 GRANVILLE ST. Smart Topcoats for Spring Fawn and Grey tweed effects in Guards and Slip on models 17*5 01> C. D. BRUCE LIMITED Cor. HASTINGS and HOMER To Whom It May Concern Be It known that I hereby give notice on behalf of the University Men's Grass Hockey Club that I Intend to apply at the next General Meeting of the Men's Athletic Association for the raising of the status of the club to "Minor" classification. SIDNEY W. SEMPLE. President Men's Grass Hockey Club Fun and Fundamentals 'There are now, little radio audience, tust twenty-five days left before Those Jnfortunate Occurrences. In order to make the time pass more pleasantly and profitably, F. and F. has compiled an exhaustive reference list of things one would rather do than study. To collect data for this, the Editor has wandered far and wide, and it is hoped that the statistics, drawn from many and varied sources, will prove of use to the diligent. They are all authentic. We might almost guarantee to furnish names and addresses on request. 1. Play 36 hours of golf. (Note: Advised as normal, healthy, and amusing.) 2. Go to the dentist. (Offered by a cynical associate.) 3. Read the "Atlantic Monthly" in the magazine room. (Above cynical associate would rather study than do this, however.) 4. Walk down Marine Drive and survey the sea. or 5. If a plutocrat, drive down to Marine Drive and overlook the ocean. C. Wait for somebody to finish using the Pub. typewriter. 7. Go to Chilliwack. (Note: Objected to, as this takes more than one day if done right.) 8. Renovate the complexion. (Note: Objected to for the same reason as above.) Women's Gym Club The last class of the Women's Gym Club for this year will be held at four o'clock Thursday. All women are asked to turn out, as elections for officers will take place immediately after the class. Those who have not yet paid their fees are reminded that these must be paid on or before Thursday, March 19. 9. Have a cup of caf. coffee. 10. Play hopscotch in the Pub office. 11. Wait for somebody to finish using the Pub. typewriter. 12. Watch the gold' fish in the right-hand pool. (Note: may be n.g. as g-f has not been heard from for some days, and is probably hibernating or studying.) 13} Look at the funny things in the museum. (Note to printer: Do not omit the clause "in the museum," or the thing looks implicatory.) 14. Write a letter to the "Ubyssey" about university spirit. 15. Write a sonnet. (Note to Mr. Ripley: A sport reporter was the inspiration for this.) 16. Look at those mountains. (From the literary department.) 17. Do a spring dance around the arbutus tree. 18. Read the "Ubyssey." 19. Go around the swinging doors in the library. 20. Take notes in lectures for W. P.A.S, 21. Play hangman with good words like anthropomorphologically and pro- antitransubstantiationist. 22. Go to breakfast. 23. Go to lunch. 24. Go to tea. 25. Wait for somebody to finish the Pub. typewriter. Classics Club CRITIC PRESENTS VIEWS ON SPRING PRODUCTION (Continued from page 1) giving atmosphere parts. The rest of the cast in the minor roles gave good accounts of themselves. Nancy Symes, Cicely, Brent's second wife, was weak in her acting at the beginning of the play, but strengthened her part in the second act. There was a trace of amateurishness in the way she stamped her foot and jiggled her arm in the first scene. Chris Taylor, as Roddy, the lover of Cicely, was too immature for the part. His actions smacked more of a youngster of eighteen than of a sophisticated Englishman of twenty-five. Dorothy McKelvie, although portraying the role of Brent's first spouse with appropriate gestures and words, also appeared a trifle too young. Probably this was the fault of the makeup which failed to give adequate representation of her age. St. John Madeley, appearing with the name of Huddle, epitomized all that a butler of an English country home unrelieved by the lighter side of life should be. Much credit is due to Prof. F. G. C, Wood who spent his time and invaluable experience in coaching the students. The success of the production is largely due to his efforts. The committees too are to be commended for the excellence of the scenery and the costumes. Fact Before Effect Editor, "Ubyssey" Dear Sin- Re your editorial of March 10, entitled: "Seen But Not Heard." Once again a good editorial has been ruined by "lack of tact" In this case it would be truer to say "lack of fact." The last paragraph of the editorial In what sounds like a very strained attempt to creute a fine effect, disregards facts, especially In the following sentence "At present, women students limit themselves to two or three minor brr.nches of sports, certain clubs and the one unci only Co-ed Ball" Just why the Co-ed should be dragged in at this point I am not clear but perhaps the writer was. However it is the previous part of the sentence which lacks fact, may I remind you that we have here a championship women's basketball team, and to the best of my knowledge basketball is not a minor sport, neither is swimming and as the Co-eds showed at the last meet they are "not so slow" in this sport. As for clubs, the majority are open to members of either sex and of those which are not there are about an equal number for both men and women. I maintain that the Co-eds play an equally prominent and effective part In all extra-curricular activities, Including the "Ubyssey," and as for "seen but not heard," what of those who took the feminine leads in the recent productions of the Musical and Players' Clubs? "Heard But Not Seen" BAGGAGE La Canadienne The final meeting of the Classics Club for the icrm will be held Wednesday evening at the home of Prof. Robertson, Westbrook Crescent. A paper by Margaret Rathie will be followed by the election of officers for the coming year. All those from the second year who intend to join the club are requested to attend. The last regular meeting of "La Canadienne" for this term will be held on Tuesday evening, March 17, at 8 p.m., at the home of Prof. Delavault, 4536 West 13th Avenue. New members, whose names are given below are especially asked to attend: Grace M. Parkinson, Kathleen Johnston, Eleanor Killam, Frances Tremayne, Betty Hammond, Anna C. Fulton, Marion Banbury, Verda Benedict, Kathleen Greenwood, Edith Messer- schmidt. Bill Lawson: If I sued you for dismissing me from class, what would be your case? Mr. Angus: I'd say it was justification. W. A. A. Candidates Address Voters (Continued from page 1) Jean Telford, who had charge of the meeting, then turned the chair over to Betty Buckland. Isabel McArthur and Irene Ramage gave their platforms as candidates for the presidency of the W.A.A. Isabel MacArthur approved greater co-operation among the students and said she hoped to get more money for the support of women's athletics, and to make track a major sport. She pointed out the value of a season's ticket to all games thus making the students support the teams. Irene Ramage sanctioned the work of the Women's Big Block Club which encouraged women in their athletic activity. She favoured the development of Track as the Inter-collegiate Meet would be here next year. The candidate further added, "As a member of Council, I will do my best to interpret the wishes of the members of the Association and will co-operate with the other councillors to the best of my ability." In support of Isabel MacArthur, Nancy Carter pointed out that the former's experience as captain of the Grass Hockey team, on the valedictory committee of Arts '32, and as athletic rep. for her class this year qualified her for this position. Her high standard in her academic work would, the speaker felt, give her time to devote to the work of the Society. As a supporter for Irene Ramage, Thelma Mahon declared that the candidate's work in the Badminton Club (winner of singles championship last year), and her work on the Women's Athletic Executive for the last two years qualified her for the position. The supporter felt that the amount of responsibility given to Irene Ramage demonstrated her great ability and dependability. Mairi Dingwall, on the phone: Is that you ? Mairi Dingwall: I don't think I could handle him and Johnnie. New Baggage for Your Easter Trip. Buy Now at Reduced Prices! Dress of Steamer Trunks—36 in. $10.00 Leather Club Bags... 10.00 Leather Suitcases 10.00 Patent Leather Hat Boxes 3.95 All-wool Auto Rugs.. 3.95 English Fibre Suit Cases .— _ 1.95 Warrior Brand School Cases—18 in 2.00 Leather Boston Bags 1.95 •—Mezzanine Floor DAVID SPENCER LIMITED Evening Dress Gentlemen who wish to attend meetings or "functions" where Evening Dress is considered de rigueur can be accommodated at the Parisian Costumiers (opposite the Grosvenor Hotel on Howe Street) for the. modest sum of $2.50 per evening. Shirts, Ties and Collars extra Only One Address Parisian Costumiers 841 HOWE STREET Opposite Grosvenor Hotel Phone Sey. 8499 t ♦ CALL GRAY GABS Sey. 7131 I.C. MOTOR TRANSPORTATION LTD. a ALLAN'S FOB First CUM She* Repairiaf Beat Material Used 4923 10th Avenue Weat TYPING DONI. fcy MODMATO KATIS K. E. Patterson, B.A. 44TMMh AVI. WEST Publlo Steaograpaer. Popular Lending Library "Make a Gee* ■*■•? letter " MIMIOGBAFHINQ >♦ q> •* ^nniiTiin """ ROGERS BUILDING BARBER SHOP The Ftaeit la Oeaai*—IS Ohain Special Attention to Vanity Students LAD!!!' BIAUTT PABLO* 404 GRANVILLE STREET 1111+ "Spalding" Will Always Help Your Game SEY. 8476 SEY. 4404 A. G. SpaUng t Bros. OF CANADA LTD. 414 Hastings St. W. VANCOUVER, B.C. s THE PROTT HAW CHOOLS of COMMERCE AND TELEGRAPHY 4 in number in Vancouver and 8 in British Columbia Are every day proving their usefulness to some University Grads, or Undergrads. If you want to fly to any place the SPROTT-SHAW planes will take you. If you need such services TRY THEM and You'll Never Regret It. R. J. SPROTT, B.A., President Phones: SEYMOUR 1810-9002 336 Hastings St., W. yntrooL irooucvnq The VANDERRILT TRAY ftttei with COMMUNITY PLATE Theses and Essays Typed Neatly Terms Moderate Phone Address Pt. Grey 404-R 1450 Blanca MEN'S GYM CLUB The Annual Meeting of the Men's Gym Club will take place at noon, Wednesday, March 18 in Arts 108. Election of officers, consideration of the budget for next year and other business make it important that every member attend. With the gleaming loveliness of Community Plate, the Silverware women dream of, we are featuring the charming, useful Black and Silver Vanderbilt Tray. .. An ideal gift, complete and luxurious—the Silverware in any one of many distinguished Community designs, and a setting of fitting elegance. Services for six and eight, from 137.25 to 147.70 with DeLuxe Stainless Knives. AT YOUR JEWELERS I March 17,1981 THE UBYSSEY 3 Bedtime Stories As Told To frisky Freshmen By Tom Thumb The evenings are now beginning to lengthen and fearless Freshmen and even a few frisky footballers are begging their mummies and daddies to let them stay up a little longer and absorb a little more of the soluble sunshine. This, boys and girls, as you all know, means a curtailment of their bed-time narrative. What should they do? Drop their games and run off to bed or should they run off to their games and drop their bed? I have discovered an idea that would be of help to anyone who is in such a predicament. Why not learn a type and just think of it as you drop off to sleep. Here's a nice short one. O.U.A.T. (once upon a time) there were two little mice. Their names were Mehitabel the Mischief-Maker, and Daphne the Deficient. They attended lectures quite regularly until one day Daphne got fed up with life in general and everything else in particular and went to sleep in class. Fido the Footpad was lecturing on "Rhodesian Rodents" and was discussing the "squint-eyed squirrel" when he said, "And now class, what place can we give to the squint-eyed squirrel of the Sudan?" Poor little Daphne woke up at this moment and as she picked up her books she answered, "Please, sir, he can have mine. I'm going to go." A.T.A.L.H.E.A. except D. the D. And if'the library doesn't fall into the Lily pond before Sitting Bull departs from the happy hunting grounds to-morrow night I'll tell you all about Sedgewick the Sedge-warbler and how he caught a lot of fresh worms who were too lazy to work. ATHEISM And then there is the one about the Irish philosopher who exclaimed: "By the gods above, I sweat-1 am an Atheist." Rufut it Answered Editor, the "Ubyssey." Dear Sirs- May I tender my deepest apologies to Mr. Rufus W. McGoofus for my crass nescience in allowing Shrdlu Etoin to be so insulted as to have his illustrious name so crudely misspelled in last Tuesday's issue of the "Ubyssey." It was not a typographical error. It was the result of an ill- trained memory during my early years at a government-controlled educational institution. Whit People Are Saying: Marion Mae: The Pub Office is like a harem gone wrong. Dr. Ashton: I too have my views on marriage. Mr. Black: Slang is good for our souls. Dr. Ashton: If I came in In the morning dressed up as the Prince of Wales, I wouldn't fool anybody. Dr. Evans: Examinations are not tests of memory; if they were no professor would have passed an examination. Doc Sedgewick: Shakespeare loved a drunken party—on the stage at least. Jean Henderson (to her walking dictionary): What is love? Harold Todd: I'd sooner have a good saddle horse than a wife. Doc Sedgewick: Get outside the English honour students and you might get a little intelligence. There was a Horse The Horse was grey Into the parking field he stray. The presence of strange monsters on the campus seems to be developing into a veritable epidemic. Last Tuesday the sacred privacy of the Library was disturbed by the appearance of an allegedly mad dog. Not to be outdone by the canine tribe, members of the genus equus appointed one of their number to inspect the space usually reserved for the stationary cars. The delegate arrived about nine o'clock Monday morning and commenced to terrorize timid co-eds who were in the process of alighting from their vehicles. Roaming aimlessly around for a while the quadruped discovered two or three vacant positions along side of typically collegiate wagons and Anally took up its stand beside a flashy Packard roadster. At this juncture a representative of homo sapiens appeared on the scene and suggested to the equine intruder that a policy of "keep moving" would be in order. The horse however, decided that its inspection of the parking space had not been thoroughly completed and proceeded to finish the task despite the protests of the man. A lively chase ensued and the pair spread consternation up and down the serried ranks of automobiles. Eventually by means of remote control in the form of sticks and stones the monster was persuaded to leave the gas wagons in undisputed possession of the parking area. Students of the Qlasses of'3i AND ALL OTHERS WHO WILL NOT BE RETURNING TO THE UNIVERSITY NEXT YEAR ! 1 Don't let your interest in University affairs cease with graduation! Get the latest campus neivs at first hand through the columns of the "Ubyssey," and do your part in the up-building of an infored and appreciative public opinion on University matters ivhich is of vital importance to the future growth and progress of this institution. The "Ubyssey" will be mailed to you anywhere for only $3.00 for the entire 1931-32 session. You may pay when subscribing if you ivish; othenvise, you will receive a bill in due course of next year. Hand in your name and address to Reg. Price at the Publications Office, or sign the lists which will be posted on the campus. "Keep in touch with your Alma through the "Ubyssey." Reg. Price, Circulation Manager. Mater "THI BURNING MATCH" A thrlliinc tale of College fife outside the pole. And now a man of master mind. Can save his nal and human kind. By "Who" PREFACE Few students realize that in the !>ast week or so one of the most puzz- ing mysteries of the campus has been solved by a student detective. For lack of a more appropriate name I will call him the Master Mind or the Pensive Plain-clothes Policeman or what have you. He would like to make it known that he is not a member of the Discipline Committee and he does not believe in the Honor System. The Story is divided into two parts. The first contains the beginning and the second contains the end. Part I. "All is not as it should be," said the Master Mind to me as he picked up a burnt match from beneath a vacant seat in the Auditorium, "someone has been smoking within these sacred precincts at the Alma Mater meeting yesterday and it is up to me to And him. He might give me a cigarette." "Perhaps it was a pipe he was smoking," I argued in an effort to dissuade him from a seemingly impossible task. "Ah, no, Mr. Nusance, you will notice that the match is burnt only a little at the top. In lighting a pipe one not only has to burn the whole match but one's Angers as well." "Too true," I admitted and gave up all hope of influencing my companion. "First we will visit Council," decided the Master Mind, "and see who was at the meeting yesterday." So we ascended to the seats of the mighty and asked for the desired information. A little man, wearing a gown with a Scotch accent, waited upon us. On the list that he showed us there was a total of some seven signatures. "Yes," said the little Scotsman, "attendance is dropping at the A.M.S. meetings. I think there must be a few students who do not come to them." "I know," I remarked, "there are some like me who study at noon, and anyway I couldn't think of missing an English 2a lecture." Somebody crawled under the table and had a good laugh. "Who is your friend?" the Master Mind was asked by a big strong man playing with a yo-yo. "Oh, he's Adam Nusance," replied the Thoughtful one, without stopping to think. "No doubt, he looks it," said little Charlie who was building a Stadium with some blocks. "I resent that remark," I replied and gave the half-built edifice a kick with my foot. "Now, go home and tell your mother." "Out of order," exclaimed the little Scotsman and continued, "we had seven present when the meeting was called but more than half of them left soon after." The Minder Mast glanced clown the sheet and noticed these names:— Fransisco Velveeta, Cleopatra (I hope the reader will understand these are not real names) Benito Mussolini, Fal- staff, Oil Vance, Allday Soccer, and Itchy McScratch. "Ah, I know them all," said the Pensive Person. "We may get a cigarette yet. But it will require much thought." "That let's me out of it then," I sighed with relief and left for the library to read Punch. PART II. I met the Great Detective the next day and he told me of his progress in the case. Immediately after I had left him he had gone to the Pub. to enquire after Allday Soccer. There was a notice on the door "Out to Tea" but he went in anyway and woke up a reporter who was writing a report. On asking for Allday Soccer he was told that the gentleman ( ?) was up in the S.C.- M. room playing poker. "Has he been smoking lately?" asked the Sharp-witted Sherlock. "No," was the reply, "he swallowed a football during one of the games a while ago and has been quite blown up about it. He daren't breathe for fear the football will burst." Our hero made a hasty retreat. It wasn't Allday after all. One person eliminated. Only six possibilities now. Mr. Detective next positioned himself behind a radiator in the Men's Common Room. After three hours of Continued on next Column Pretty Co-ed: "I want to buy a pair of bloomers to wear around the gymnasium." Salesman (absently): What size is your gymnasium?" —Ex. What Does the Pub Unto the Cub? Ah, there's the Rub, SlubRub-a-Dub-Dub. It is interesting for those who have spent four or more years on the college paper to watch the progress of reporters from the misdirected enthusiasm of the beginner to the recondite adeptness ot the veteran journalist. Every year brings a new crop of energetic "cubs" who rush around the campus filled with the importance of an assignment, who listen attentively to special lectures and who write reams of copy on trivial events. They are hurt and surprised when their efforts prove to have transgressed all rules and customs of newspaper writing. They are bitterly disappointed when their yards of effort appear as a two inch story on an inside page. Two years later the same enthusiasts appear as "hard-boiled" and insouciant editors. They take great delight in running a blue pencil through the mistakes of the latest mob of neo- phites. When on occasion they are obliged to report an event they commandeer a typewriter and hammer out a story sans notes, sans worry and sans scruples. They are on speaking terms with most of the campus executives and know exactly where to go for information on anything from S.C.M. to soccer. They exhibit a lofty contempt for the way in which all forms of student activity are carried out and invariably speak disrespectfully of the Students' Council. They spend most of their time loafing in the "Pub." Such is the evolution of the campus journalist. Continued from column three waiting he overheard Cleopatra say she hadn't smoked for a dog's age. Two gone, only five more. Later, when he was swimming across the Lily Pond on his way to the library he ran into Oil Vance. "Top of the morning, Oil," he cried cheerfully and tactfully added in a whisper, "Do you smoke?" "I'm sorry old chap," said Oil as he drew a cigarette from his pocket and lit it, "I ran out of smokes last week and have never bothered to get any since." Another suspect freed from the bonds of suspicion. Who is guilty and why not? Meantime I had run two clues to earth. After much cross-questioning with Fransisco Velveeta she admitted that she did not know what a cigarette was. "Will it spread or slice?" she asked. Another all gone. Three left. Later I met Mussolini putting up a C.O.T.C. notice in the quad. "Hello Benny," I said strategically, "what do you think of the weather?" He gave me the Ashy salute and told me he didn't care about the weather now that he had a storm- tighter to light his cigarettes. "How nice!" I remarked. "Goodbye." I was looking for someone who used matches. And then the Mister Mand and I cornered Itchy McScratch in the Aggie Common Room and he told us he could not remember. It was all a haze to him. He hadn't done it. He would swear to that. In fact to save himself he said he would swear that he had done it. We left him cowering in a chair, with drops of sweat slipping down his face and tears running round his nose. Only one remains now. It must be Falstaff. Needless to say, Falstaff is a Sci- enceman, and we found him at last in a Chem. lab. testing samples of alcohol. He was singing "The Stein Song." He told us at once that he smoked a pipe and had never touched a cigarette. And anyway, he added, they always choked him. In despair we left him. Had nobody smoked in the Auditorium? Had nobody a cigarette? Had the match been dropped by a janitor or the fire- chief? Were we foiled? I should say not. The Master Mind was thinking. "Let me see," he numbled. I let him see. And then he did the Archimedes act. "I have it!" he cried, "I have it!" and bounded over to the Applied Science building. I followed him at a respectable distance. We bearded Mussolini in his den and after we had tugged at the tail of his black shirt for about an hour he said he would tell all. "You're right," he confessed to the Master Mind. My lighter never works until I light it with a match!" And then he took one of his cigarettes, cut it into three halves, gave us each a portion and kept the largest for himself. "One for all and all for one!" said Benito and then tried to operate his cigar-lighter, We both handed him a match. Esprit d* Amour Flower in the Bottle PERFUMES and TOILET WATER (For the Woman who Cares) S52 Granville Street BETTY'S cJsk paint bhnk tor 'THcotocl —also in half pound tins at 75c. FRBB BOOKLETI "HOW TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR PIPE," Write Dept. "C," P.O. Box 1320, Montreal University Book Store Hours: 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.; Saturdays, 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. Loose-Leaf Note Books, Exercise Books and Scribblers at Reduced Prices Graphic and Engineering Paper, Biology Paper Loose-Leaf Refills, Fountain Pens and Ink. Pencil and Drawing Instruments. Crepe Paper for Masquerades, Etc. ALL YOUR BOOK SUPPLIES SOLD HERE Strand Theatre The Right of Way" with CONRAD NAGEL LORRETA YOUNG and others BARGAIN DAILY, ADULTS MATINEE 11 TO 1 25r CHILDREN Regular Prices 10c West Point Cleaners and Tailors DUNBAR AND 26th AVE. DRY CLEANING $1.00 Blue Serge Suit to order, $33.00 ap. Phone Bay. 2289 Mrs. Pearce DRESSMAKING Remodelling and Repairs Moderate Charges 3212 Dunbar St. Bay. 8987 Nash's Shoe Repair All Best Leather Used. 4236 Dunbar Bay. 4298 R Dunbar Pharmacy Bay. 5M W. R. Mawhonney E. A. CltastM 17th Ave. k Danbar St. «Tfje Cottage <¥ea l&oom Lunch - Afternoon Tea - Dinner Small bridge parties accommodated Attractive but not Expensive 4314 W. Tenth Ave. TBI UBYSSIY March 17,1931 CAMPUS SPORT CAMERA ROYAL CITY MEN FINALLY STOP COLLEGE QUINTETTE Battle of Defenses Ends 13-6 for Adanacs There is a superstition that it is decidedly bad luck to present a player with an award before an important game. Be that as it may but the Vancouver and District League presented Arnold Henderson with a trophy for being the most valuable player in the League and Varsity basketball team lost to Adanacs 13-6 in the third game of the playoff series at the Gym. Saturday night. Whether jinxed or not the Varsity boys appeared to be mere shadows of their former selves and| scored only one field basket all evening. When that happens there is something wrong even if the opposing team is the well known Adanacs. After numerous fouls, Nicholson finally converted one for the first score of the evening and Campbell brought the total up to two on another a few minutes later. That was Varsity's moment of glory for after that the champions held a lead for the rest of the evening. It happened this way. Wally Mayers, a former star of Varsity teams dropped two long shots in from centre to make the score 4-2. Doug. Fraser, captain of the visitors, pushed in a spectacular one hand shot to make the score J3-2. Varsity scored a foul shot, the score was 6-3 and it was half time. Just like that. At the beginning of the second half this same Fraser added two more points to bring the Adanac total up to 8. Mayers made it 9 with a foul on Lee, After over 30 minutes of trying Boh Osborne scored Varsity's only field goal to make the score 9-5. Dick Butler took the joy out of life for the Varsity supporters a moment later with a long one and the score was 11-6. Osborne made it 6 for Varsity with a foul on Fraser but Mayers evened things up by scoring on a double foul while Tervo missed his. The score was then 13-6, the gun was fired, the game was over and whoa was us. The game produced the greatest defensive play of the series. Adanacs scored three long shots and Varsity scored none and that just about sums up the game. All in all, however, it was quite an evening. Besides the honour bestowed on the Varsity skipper, Pi Campbell was announced as the high scorer of the league with 101 points to 100 for Hugh Grant, former member of Varsity and now with Westminster Y. There was also a public address system installed with Lynne Pickler at the mike and although Pickler will never be mistaken for Graham McNamee some of the customers claimed it added greatly to their enjoyment of the game. Racquet Holders In Winning Spree Thursday night Varsity B Badminton team won its last match of the season by defeating 1st B.C. Regiment 10-6. The collegians were successful in all the mixed doubles, but fell down in the ladies' doubles owing to the absence of the first two of our ladies. The Regiment was unlucky in having the four B team men unable to play. The final standing of Varsity in the Vancouver and District League is not determined as yet but will be printed as soon as known. • The team: Sheila Tisdall, Ellen Gleed, Margaret Palmer, Bunny Pound, Nic Solly, Terry Holmes, Ian Campbell, Ken Atkinson. MORE INSIDE TRACK DOPE FR0MPREXY Cindermen Vie for Places Results of eliminations held at the Varsity Oval on Saturday afternoon leave little doubt as to the personnel of the track and field team which will travel to Tacoma to vie with the athletes of Puget Sound College on March 21, announces Leo Gansner, president of the local Track Club. An eleven- man aggregation will leave here by car on Friday, take part in the meet Saturday afternoon and probably return north the same evening. It is several years since U.B.C. has been represented at a Tacoma meet and the proficiency of the southerners is an unknown quantity here, nevertheless Gansner believes that he has a crew which is capable of bringing at least an even share of the points across the line. In the sprints Blue and Gold hopes are based on Ralph Thomas, who broke the Varsity record for the hundred yards at the recent inter-class meet, and Bobby Gaul, well known to all Rugby fans. Either Ormsby or Clarke will be the third short distance artist while Hughie Smith is scheduled to appear in the 440 yards. In the try-outs Smith easily outdistanced all competitors for this event, covering the distance in 54 seconds, only 1 1-5 seconds more than the present U.B.C. record. Smith will also combine with the other three sprinters in the 880 yards relay which is to be a feature of the clash. It seems probable that Alfie Allen will be called upon to uphold the honour of U.B.C. in both the 880 yards and the 1 mile. At the eliminations Fred Salisbury, an Aggie freshman, ran a nice race over the two lap distance to beat George Allen and Sinclair, his time, 2 mins. 16 sees., however, being considerably below the standard required for inter-collegiate competition. Gansner and Dicks are prepared to guard Varsity's reputation as the home of good distance men when they stack up against the Americans in the 2-mile grind. The latter provided quite a sensation on Saturday when he showed a clean pair of heels to both Gansner and Shatford, doing the 8 laps in the excellent time of 10 mins. 21 sees. In the field events Bob Alpen, individual champion of last Wednesday's meet, and Glen Ledingham will be the mainstays of the Canadian squad. Both these men will figure in the javelin, discus and shot put while the former is also scheduled for the pole vault and possibly the high hurdles. Hugh Smith and Thomas will contest the broad jump and Forsythe, a new man in college field events, will endeavour to cross a loftier lath than the Tacoma high jumpers. The team will be handicapped to some extent by the absence of Gav. Dirom; the scienceman was in good form at the recent inter-class championships but feels that he cannot spare the time to make the trip to the Puget Sound City. Province Title For Varsity Hoopettes Wallop Young Conservatives In Final Game of Series Varsity's senior "A" women's basketball team cohered itself with glory and acquired a sizeable collection of silverware Saturday night when it annexed the championship of the Vancouver and District League as well as the B.C. championship by taking the Young Conservatives 33-15 in the third game of the playoff series. The win for Varsity climaxed a series of ups and downs that had the dopesters hanging on the ropes. In the first game of the series the Varsity girls won with little effort only to take a pasting in the second game at the V.A.C. Wednesday night. Just when everybody was expecting the struggle of a life time Varsity stepped out Saturday night and walked all over the Tories. Women are definitely hard to figure. Jean Whyte was the most effective player on the floor. When the Tory guards let her shoot long ones she popped them in with startling regularity and when they tried to check her around centre she slipped around to dribble under the basket and score with equal monotony. Altogether she scored 15 points as well as holding her check to three points. Thelma Mahon, Mary Campbell and Claire Menten were also very much in the limelight. In fact Varsity put up just about the best exhibition of the season. The teams: Varsity—T. Mahon (8), M. Campbell (5), J. Whyte (16), V. Dellert, G. Munton, C. Menten (6), L. Tour- telotte. Total 33 points. Conservatives—B. Passerini (8), D. Blackburn (4), P. Malcolm, B. McLeod (3), E. Silverthorne, M. Kennedy. Total 15 points. Madame Fortune Overcomes Rugger*!! Lose Provincial Championship As Victoria Wins 5-3 , A long punt which took a bad bounce over the head of Derry Tye and resulted in a try turned defeat into victory for the Victoria College Ruggers when they tangled with Varsity H's Saturday at Royal Athletic Park in the Bird City. The lucky try was prettily converted by Roddy Mclnness to give the Victorians an early lead which ultimately brought them the Intermediate championship of B.C. and the Province trophy for the third year in succession. In the second period of the game the Varsity men tore large holes through the local defense but could not even up the count. Pearson did get over for a try but the kick went wide and the game was lost. In a vain effort to save the Blue and Gold, Calland and Stobie combined in a pretty run through the Victorians but were stopped on the line. It was tough for Varsity. The Point Grey men had the majority of the play but unfortunately it is points that win and there we are. The teams; Victoria College—Mclnnes, Cope- land, Miller, Colgate, Mabee; Bapty; Mover; Robinson; Sprinkling; Carey, Wilson, Walton, Sievers, Davidson, Crothall. Varsity—Tye, Calland, Hanbury, Gwyer, Stobie, Henderson; Hall; Fogg; Grant, B. Brown, Senkler, Mc- Kedie, Burns, Pearson, D. Brown. LAST HALF DROP KICK ROBS GRIDDERS OF TITLE Meralomas Overcome Lead To Win 4-3 Varsity's chances to bring home the Sturdy Cup went by the board when the students were nosed out by the league-leading Meralomas in a gruelling struggle at Athletic Park on Saturday afternoon. A deflected drop-kick and a touch-down disallowed for illegal interference were the breaks which spelled defeat for the students. In the first quarter the game looked like a walk-over for Varsity. Immediately after the kick- HENDERSON'S MEN HAVING L0TS0F FUN Two Series This Week NOTICE Presidents of athletic clubs are reminded that recommendations for letter awards are now due and should be in the hands of the Awards Committee not later than Thursday, March 19th, announces Secretary R. Smith. Sportorial Once upon a time (you've heard that before), well, once upon a time there was a dear little fellow named Henderson. And Arnie (as he was playfully called by those who knew him) was a really good boy and always ran the errands for his mother. As time grew, so did he, in fact he did not stop so they sent him to Varsity where he turned out to help the basketball club. • To cut a long story short, Henderson had his reward last Saturday night. It seems that Mr. Al Hardy awarded a trophy for the most valuable player in the Vancouver and District league. And after going into a huddle with himself, Mr. Hardy presented this trophy to Arnold Henderson. Seriously speaking, for once this award means a lot to Varsity. It is just tribute to a great player, a man who has done more for Varsity basketball than any other, including players, coaches and trainers. The U.B.C. should be proud of this honor and it would be fitting to give him a great big hand when he takes the floor. s. Mert Keel Look him over ladies. This is Mert Keel, idol of the Alberta crowd. He is a six footer and does things at centre for the University of Alberta quintette. Mert has made a name for himself on the prairies as a high scorer and will give "Henny" Henderson plenty of trouble. To go from one thing to another we will now discuss Women's track. It seems that this line of sport has been rather badly neglected in the past. At any rate no one seems to care for the poor little girls, that is, on the field. This year, however, the Co-eds have evidently found a live wire president in Mary Fallis who is bent upon sending the women tracksters somewhere in an awful hurry. The result of these executive exertions is that of four events run off, or maybe jumped off last week, three new records were set and one other tied. Which is quite good batting, what? Unfortunately Jupiter Pluvius decided to take a hand in things that same afternoon whereupon some of the Co-ed entries thought they had had plenty and toddled off to the gym. Maybe they vapoured off, says R.A.P. Anyway, the above mentioned Mary was quite wrath because this caused delay in the program and was not very sporting on the part of these great big tough Amazons. This necessitates the running of the women's relay race this week, Wednesday to be exact. Arts '31, '33, and '34 are the entries and the freshettes are favoured to emulate their brethren by winning. • * * Now that we have had a little relief we -can get back to that greatly neglected indoor pastime, basketball. The great Arnold is not the only honor winner on the Varsity squad. Pi Campbell was announced as being the high scorer on the season's league play. This is quite nice for the old folks at Kelowna whence Pi hails. "Push 'em in" Campbell rang the old hoop for 101 points, one more than the ambitious Hugh Grant of the lowly T' Huskies. When Adanacs finally snapped out of it Saturday night at the local hall of exertion they made matters pretty tough for Henderson's heavers. Last night the Varsity crew met the University of Alberta cagers in the first of a two-game series for the inter-collegiate championship of the West. Tonight the lads can sit hand in hand by the old fireside and ponder upon their labors. Wednesday, however, the boys will say goodbye to the Big City and board their -limousines for Westminster, oft called for no good reason, the Royal City. There the genial Adanacs meet them. What happens after that is in the lap of the gods or maybe these same Adanacs. The Albertans provide the opposition Thursday in the campus edifice while the week's entertainment winds up Saturday, also here, against the above-mentioned Adanacs. Altogether, quite a week, what? Thus far the lads have done well in their expeditions. They have beaten our friends the Adanacs twice, and incidentally that Westminster win was the first defeat suffered by Adanacs there in three long years. At any rate after this week the Blue and Gold can have more or less of a rest. If they beat Adanacs they are a cinch for the Canadian finals but if they lose they can sell the well worn shoes and pawn basketballs or perhaps they give these last to the effervescent business manager. It has been quite a term for basketball and this is one glorious hoop week to wind it up. The students know they have a basketball team even if the promised pep meeting yesterday refused to pep. Still the faithful (all thirty of them) can trot out to the gym and meet the Albertans Thursday if they have not done so already. Besides, they wear the most entrancing sweaters. off Dal by of the Meralomas was stopped on the fifteen yard line. Varsity blocked the ensuing punt to gain the ball ten-yards out. After a couple of successful line plunges Doug. Gordon, the Varsity quarter, managed to slip across the line, only to have the score disallowed on the grounds of illegal interference. The ball was brought out to the ten yard line and Gordon booted one between the posts to net three points for Varsity. Nothing daunted by this piece of ill-luck in losing a touch-down, the Collegians maintained a determined offensive, keeping the orange and black lads penned within their own territory. Varsity came within scoring distance time and again only to lose the ball on downs when the Meraloma defense stiffened. The third period started off well for Varsity with the Meralomas on their own ten yard line. The clubbers however, had some more tricks up their sleeve, and taking their opponents by surprise completed two neat forward passes, netting them a total of sixty yards. For the first time the student superiority was threatened. But they tightened up stopping two Meraloma bucks and the Clubbers were forced to kick. The drop-kick, which was going wide, was partially deflected by a Varsity man who was trying to block it and sailed between the posts to tie the score. Shortly after this the Meralomas scored again, kicking to the deadline for one point. In the last quarter Varsity went all out to win but the Meralomas managed to stave them off and the whistle blew with the score 4-3 in their favor. Team: Malcolm, McKnight, Mason, Morrison, Wrinch, Bains, Ashbv, Verner, Gladstone, Stewart, Wheeler, King, Haggerty, Johnstone, Potts, Cade, Gordon, Knight, Deloise, W. J. Morrow, W. R. Morrow, Hamlin, Coventry, and D. Morrison. Addie Donaldson The Tom Thumb of the team is seen above. This lad is one of those people known as forwards in best basketball circles. It is expected that he will become quite intimate with the Varsity guards. Sport Summary BASKETBALL— Varsity 6; Adanacs 13; Co-eds 33; Young Conserv. 15. CANADIAN RUGBY— Vnrsity 3; Meralomas 4. HOCKEY— Women: U.B.C. 2; Normal 1. Varsity 0; Ex-Magee 2; ENGLISH RUGBY— Vnrsity Sen. 'B' 3; Victoria College 5. THIS SPACE RESERVED FOR SOCCER Hockeyettes Win As Sisters Lose U.B.C. stick crossers nosed out Normal 2-1 and Varsity lost to Ex- Magee 2-0 at Memorial Park, Saturday. The U.B.C. players thus qualifying to meet Ex-Magee in the semifinals which will be played on March 21. Both games were hotly contested. U.B.C. women had one goal to their credit at half time, Carol Sellars having scored. Soon after the whistle blew, Normal tied the score. Then Carol Sellars tallied again from a pass from Bea Sutton. During the remainder of the game each side was striving to hold down the other. Well! The U.B.C. wing halves were weak, so El mi Teppo and Mable McDonald, full backs, had more than their share of the play. For Varsity, D. Johnson, full back, and B. Pollock, goalie, played well, stopping many shots from the Magee forwards. Isabel McArthur at centre tried hard to score. The Magee squad tallied once in each half, which finished Varsity for the season. "Buzz" Fenerty Buzz is another of those basketball- rugby stars. He played in the rugby series against U.B.C. last fall and then turned to the hoop game. He cavorts on the defense. His hands, we are told are very sure and pack an accurate shot. BASKETBALL Final of Inter-Collegiate Series VARSITY Vi. ALBERTA Thursday Varsity Gym 9 p.m. Stop Press Result of Mon. Game Varsity: 21. Alberta: 18