NUMBER 35 NELSON, B. C. CANADA. ��fc PRICE: 10 CENT* LOWERY'S CLAIM Ie devoted to Truth, Humor and Justice, and is published monthly at Nelson, B. C., Canada It Is sent, postpaid, to any part of the world for $1 a year. Advertising rates are $2 an inch each insertion. Lowery's Claim has never been raided by the sheriff, railroaded did not have sense enough to grease s buckssw or pick the bugs off a crop of Irish bananas. When a boy Is no good in Englsnd his parents turn him Into s C. of R parson and send him out into the world to earn his bread and beer by boosting for Jesus with machine prayers and blessings for the royal family. Perhaps it Is just as well thst mud- brained nonentities sre mainly the timber out of which the parsons, rectors and curates of the Anglican church are manufactured for It seems like sn economic waste to train real men to make a scant living by repeating machine prayers, wearing a gown, and with outstretched arms repeating those wonderfully clever and uplifting words: "Here endth the first lesson." The church of England could save more money for ita fat bishops by cutting out the human parrots and putting In big gramophones The Anglican church stands for arlato cracy, the subjection of the poor, snd non-progression. Its bishops who sre usually psld more In a year than they could earn at anything else in s lifetime toady to the rich, and aim to keep the masses in ignorance and subjection in order that their power and fat salaries may not be lost by advancing science "I adopt aa my own the statement which appeared la the Canadian Churchman directing attention to the ifact that Infidelity is now lieing open- hy taught in the high schools and collegiate Institutes of this provlace, as well as In those ot Manitoba. In September. 1904. a new text book called the high achol geography was Introduced Into these schols, under the false plea of teaching true science, which propounds theories diametrically opposHI to the holy scripture anil Christian doctrine. While the curriculum of these Important educational Institutions makes no provision for religious insiruction of any kind, the religious public have a clear right to expect that no doctrines opposed to the orthodox t*nets of Chria- llanlty ahalt be taught therein. Without at all entering 5nto the dismission eif how far the theory of evolution���for 11 Is only s theory���may be true, while II harmonizes with fundamental laws of human progress, we can si I understand its dangerous e-harae f r when It pre- stunes to tell us thst the universe and this world Is pari of It. waa not the work of a Supreme Being cr******-**! btekto th tUnTwh.^ a* brake mast be kept on the hi��k_*M A of theological dor*, or they wm^S* hack to the swamp of mental i*** Wahopa. ahoald be the cryj^J No wild animal will touch a mm a void of fear. People m*** fc?r tf tract the very danger they seek to avow" .h^^lf l^tr"*** ih*1 hU **�� trip throng* East Kooteny had no political significance Perhaps he was j�� (1k' ing a few lessons la poker for nearly .:��� the smart men in B. C are past bs*. tera In that fl nan. Ial pastime. There ia a movement In some of th�� towns In the cent belt to shut csu sun. day fun�� raU Afler awhile this Insanity about Sunday observance will be. come so acute that births or death* upon that day will be punished by fine or im prisonmenL ���. but the pro-. duct, on the contrary, of chance or accl-l Ifnc>rance ia the father of tb** churta dent arising from self -contained mud!- and Pear Its mother When tbe world tlons already existing in physical na ; .barotites really Intelligent the creed ture. snd thst man instead of being grafter will beon tne wagon with OtheM- created by God In His own image sprang Ilo. He baa had a long Innings hut tb" originally from aome Inferior form of day la rapidly coming when he will be animal life, to gradually attsln by evoln- on the outside of the fence tofting at tlonary processes to the higher form In [the game through a knot-hole "- Whlch h�� ���!!���������� e-v .l~. which he sppeara to day. *Thle la what the high school geogra- phy teaches, aa will ne seen by a reference to ita peg"*. At page 12 It tells ua that life on this earth had its lowly beginnings In humble seaweed, or In gelatinous or living matter than arose on the surface of the salt water, while %t page 427 It teaches the fsla/* dor trine of the 'nebular hyiiothesla.' which had Its origin with the German aceptlc. Ksnt. snd waa sfterwarda taught anew, with freah environments, by the eminent French astronomer. Ijtptac*. ss an excuae or justification for his on theism That a book of thia dangerous character ��� Iu.hU V~ ' ��� oe.eaiicirig science That a book of this dangerous character and higher thought Mad with egotlam should be used In our educational inatl- they always yell when anything pro- tntlone csn only be regarded ss a dellb- gTessive appears thst tends to lift the'*���*'' "** * ' pieople beyond the spell of that theological dope which hss deadened mankind in all ages and fattened the pompous, self-constituted agents of God upon the cream of every land. Little wonder that tlie lord bishops roar when tbey aee progressive movements for It means that ere long their wine cellars will be as empty ga the. heMTede* nt *U~.~ ---��- erate attempt to weaken or wholly des- trop the Chriatlan faith of their students of both aexea. All this synod csn do. however, in this grave matter Is to make It saolemn protest sninst the use of such a book In our acbool*. and to submit thia protest to the minister of education for Ontario." It la to be regretted that in this ad nr.r.A -��� ��..���_�� ..��.,- r��*u ue as empty It la to lie regretted that In this ad- aa the heads of those who have support- vanced age blahops ar* still to be found ed them in the past. Recently upon the clinging to tbe spirit that cursed man- same day fn Ontario thuee lord hi��h��n�� ^^ jn tj,e medlevsl centuries. It shows *- ���"'- hnv Hire-**.o *-���* *- ,..,~~ ler.rilUV UpOH tllC same day in Ontario thcee lord bishops In as many different cities rose up In their puny might at the meeting of Anglicans synods and let off a roar against the new school geography that sounded like an echo from the Dark Ages. Their utterances show that the ground upon which they have stood for so long Is becoming 'Friscoed and that already the earthquake of knowledge h making them so nervous that ft Is only with the greatest difficulty that they can peep at their hole card. In the spiel at Ottawa Bishop Hamilton unloaded (he following ozonic Jag of sour grapes; how difficult It la to make a church move and revognlze any theories contrary to their own. Hamilton's religion ia nothing but s theory and through long dwelling upon It his mind hss become atronhl"d until he cannot aee anything good or true outside of an Anglican church. HIh remarks sound to the really wise like the babbling of a jealous child. A snrfeit of power -conferred upon bishops and other riil<*ra always lends to make them dictatorial, tyrannical, despotic or eb*�� groaalv sensual and Immoral. If bishops like Hamilton bad __, . Ms may shoot for a time at th* cartel "f better thought but hia nol*.* sill tie wasted as the yellow dog * aides hJ* breath chewing the rag with the moon Over fifty millions of barrel* nf hrer were sold In America laat year M<*t of this vast oreaa of hop touched water was gulped down like a eakkea h��allowing June bugs and did the drlnk**r�� little good. TO get any benefit out of beer yon must sell It and watrh the other fellow drink It. Like religion beer Is at little use to the humsn race Just an acquired taste like all other unnecessary things on this mundane sphere for which we cough up our doush snd Imagine that wt must have. The church Is responsible for mot' crime and misery on this earth thin any other agency. It ten-che* fear an4 that Is sore poison to tb** soul H '."ache* us that no mater bow much we sin Jeans will pay all the cxp*nw* and give na a pardon a la the Fitipatrirk style. When this tatter teaching M believed It Alls the world with wickedr**" for the mind soft enought to believe nuch a false doctrine ia liable to commit anr crime under the mistaken Impression that all will be serene If we sneak Bf�� Jemis, like a cat stealing cresm snd��*��� Him a con talk about belag sorry **ucn baby teaching aa tbat will damn any nation that geta It flrmly embedded in the upper stope. We cannot escape tne punishment of wrong acts for we *T* punished by our sins and not for tbem. The sooner the world la rid of the baneful teachings of priest and parson tbe "ooner will Ita Inhabitants see heaven without walling to reach It over u��* heaose route .*.-��� -VS,*- * IX)WBRTS CLAIM July Coolers. The priest has made many a child the enemy of mankind. A fool with a college education Is worse off than a wise man who cannot read. The more you hate the articles ln this journal the more you are iu need of them. If you are pleased with this journal send in a dollar and get a dozen back numbers. Do not think too harshly of tho agitator. Without him the world makes no progression. The Christian who serves God because he is afraid of hell, ancl not because he loves God, is a hell of a Christian.��� patriarch. The man who sips his drinks will never become a drunkard, and the chap who never bolts his food will seldom have dyspepsia The booaters in Winnipeg and Vancouver have pushed real estate so high that you cannot reach it without making a ladder out of $20 gold pieces. In the United Ststes people arc arrest - for s'dling meat on Sunday, but those who wish are still permitted to play at cannibalism in thc churches. These cutting days when the doctors do not kill ln the operation for appendicitis they often let the victim shuffle off by giving bim food too soon. Dr. Tilden says that liberty always means license, and freedom moral chaos when the people judge by a standard that Is artificial, statutory and God- sanctioned. This world will come to an end just as soon as the sun gets time to absorb it. The sun should get a mote on If it wants to get ahead of Rockefeller, or the Grits at Ottawa. Higher Science says that the only sensible thing old Anthony Comstock ever done was making the W. C. T. U. ladles put aprons on the images of Jesus Christ In churches, and other places where his body was Indecently exposed. If, as some of the thin-pat ed cieed howlers assert. God destroyed 'Frisco because its people were so wicked Higher Science wants to know why He knocked out 85 churchs and left the largest liquor house unharmed. Probably the greatest of all pugilists thought that booze was the lesser evil. The eating of bananas will cure the craving for alcohol. The proposed trust in churches will never be a success in Canada ToO many small minds will spoil the hash ot creeds. In the days of fables you could not. be a disciple of Jesus Christ unless you hated your parents and all your relatives, Including your mother-in-law. An eminent divine says that it is not the drinking but the getting sober that Is so terrible. Nothing wise or new about that remark. Every old jag flend knew it the day after bis first drunk. There is little hope for Sunday street cars In Winnipeg. For opposite reasons the church and labor unions, are opposed to them, also tho rich chaps who want a clear track for the automobiles on the Sawbath. In Texas the other day an editor was greatly shocked to see a lady step into a hallway, raise her dress and pull a roll of money out of her hose. That's nothing. Over in Calgary the ladies pull their limbs out of their hose every night. Nelson is not the cheapest place In the world to live. Antioch, on the Mediterranean sea has it backed clear over tb," dump. In that Asiatic town a whole family can live in fine style upon $175 a year. You can rent a bouse and keep three servants for $4 a week. Mutton is 3cents a pound (shades of Pat Burns!) and eggs 2 cents a dozen. Fish costs 1 cent for five pounds and chickens 50 cents a dozen, while for 25 cents a week you can get. all the fruit and vegetables a family requires. The people of Canada and the United States boast of their freedom and give their postmaster-generals the most despotic power. Without warning they can ruin a man's business and there is no appeal except to themselves. This is on a par with roasting a judge in a newspaper, and having the editor tried for contempt by the one he has offended. The Crag and Country says that with the Influx of summer visitors one would think that even the despised churches would reap a richer harvest. According to reports the C. P. R. train robbers got $15.50: but even that beats the Sunday collections in some of the Banff churches. However, the law does not yet give a parson life for holding up a Banff congregation. The pen fruit of Nelson's latest daily is choice and appeals to minds trained to ramble in the higher fields of thoughtful literature. If the pace is not slackened the Canadian will soon be known many miles from its own door. It seems a wonder that such a clever editor wasted so much of his life pushing theological theories In the greatest hurrah church when the press has ever been calling for more brains, and fewer blacksmiths. In a cellar under a villa in Bremen there is stored some wine 300 years old. Upon each case Is the name of one of the (Apo8t1.ee. The wine Is now worth two millions dollars a bottle which is far more than we have ever seen the rosy sold for even in the flush days of Kaslo. It must look yellow In the glsss, and evenColonel Cooltcan ln tbe mad days of Winnipeg could not afford to take a bath ln It. Perhaps after all it would not taste any better, than a snifter of old Canada rye at 15 cents a swallow, chaser included. Vests made of paper are sold in Bur- ope. If some genius will now make women's clothes out of paper the poor men will have more money to spend on booaerine and cigars. **m The credit system is one of the worst things in modern life. The cash system will increase the health and better the morals of any community. * -Ma-aM-a-a****-***. Through religious excitement a saloon man in New York state tried to kill a parson the other day. He should have stuck to the jimjams of his own business. Mixing dope is fatal. Several churches in the east have been struck by lightning this year. If a man smashed his own house the neighbors would put him in a lunatic asylum or stop his whiskey at the tavern. For the edification of boys in the cent belt who have a desire to come out west and be tough we will say that Deadwood Dick died the other day after eking out a miserable existence for eight years peddling gum and candies on the street An eminent physician says human beings should live 14 Oy.ears. And so they would if the world was not so full of fools. Scarcely one person in a thousand knows how to cat. drink or choose the right quality and quantity of food. All anarchists are not poor, liberty- crazed devils who throw bombs at kings and queens. Some are political or capitalistic rulers who break laws to favor the rich. When justice is given to all alike the business of throwing bombs will become obsolete. In the Bible God tells every man to buckle on his sword and hunt through the camp for victims. He commands every man to kill his brother, companion friend. Little wonder that there is so much hell upon this earth when such stuff is paraded as gospel. A Carribean pirate suffering from mania potu could not have given a more insane order. When part of the bible was written God must have been crazy, or else his stenographers had bugs In their up- ' per stopes. The cannibalistic instinct Is strong in church communicants as evidenced by the imaginative eating of Christ every now and again in much the same way as boys who read dime novels play at fighting Indians. Only childish or unthlnkr Ing minds would indulge in such a mental destroying ceremony. To those under the 8peel of theological dope the sacrament may appear to be sacred, but to tbose untainted by fear or superstition It ! appears about as sensible as the putting of roast ducks on the grave of a dead Chinaman. LOWERY'S CLAIM Child Slavery. The United States needs to reform lOther things besides the meat business in Chicago No child should work for a living, yet in the mines, mills, factories and sweat shops of America nearly three millions of unwilling children under the ago of 15 years sre being slowly sacrificed to the greed of commercialism. We repeat that no child should do anything but the lightest and most healthful labor until well past the age of puberty, yet millions of children are being dwarfed and ruined mentally and physically through the greed of capital in this age of competition. Public sentiment can alone lift this terrible curse from the poor, defenceless children of America. Do not shirk ye men and women of good hearts. Come with us into the canning factories of Maine, and see boys and girls driven to unwholesome tasks with whips and forced to slave trom twelve to fourteen hours a day. Come with us into the cotton mills of the south, where children of eight years of age labor all night and during the day sleep the sleep of titter exhaustion with not a breath of fresh air, and with no opportunity for recreation or mental development Come with us to the coal mines of Pennsylvania, and se the breaker boys sorting lumps of anthracite in an atmosphere ao laden with coal dust as almost to suffocate you in ten minutes; but these poor lads work there all day long, and die, many of them, in a few years. Come into the blazing glass factories of New Jersey, where the ten and eleven year old boys so often fall asleep, overpowered by weariness, that they throw buckets of water over them to keep them awake and at their relentless tasks. A man went down into the East Side of New York City one day and saw a child of four years earning her share of the family expenses by twisting paper .for artificial flowers. Her hours of labor were from dawn till dark. In Pennsylvania and New Jersey the heartless taskmasters have taken defenceless children from the orphan asylums and setthem to work In the shops. for It is cheaper, they say, to get boys aad girls in this way than to install machinery. In Fall River they grease the bodies of email boys and set them to work, naked, In the poisonous dyeing vats��� "dying" vats they are indeed, for the poor little fellows live but a short time. It cost' the United States a million men and billions of money to cut the bonds that bound the negro to his master, and yet a worse slavery exists today in that great country with some on the side In Canada The great evil of child slavery could be righted in a short time If the press, pulpit and platform would lift up its voice more In the cause of humanity and cringe less before the almighty dollar of the greedy capitalist Through its child slavery and rotten ���Chicago meat America stinks ln the nostrils of all who have hearts not submerged in the greed that destroys the soul much the eame as nitric acid obliterates a wart Another species of child slavery has been seen on the stage ln the west quite recently In the performances of such troupes as the Pollards and others. In these troupes we find girls and boys- of tender age working late at night in the unhealthy atmosphere of the footlights enduring the strenuous life of constantly changing hotel fare snd railroad travel. And. for what ? To make money for men probably already rich, for It Is said thst the Pollards took $3000 out of Nelson and $10,000 st Calgary. The effect of hawking children about the country to give operatic or theatrical performances is disastrous in the extreme upon their moral, ment si and physical natures and should be prevented by lsw If public sentiment is not strong enough to do sway with such performances. AU children should be protected from the greed for gold displsyed by so msny then trlcal managers. The good people of all the western towns sre batty about child performances, yet they would shudder st the thought of one of their own children being fondled snd petted by all kinds of microbe-haunted people, bundled from hotel garret to stuffy dressing rooms, and taken all over creation In order that some heartless guy can build a fortune upon the hothouse talent of helpless snd precocious children. It Is still true thst man's lack of thought and Inhumanity to others mskes many a life wither before its time. PHILISTINE WISDOM The slogsn of the theologians���Cough! sees ! History Is only a collection of cpl- ' taphs. sees Many gods live iu temples made by hands. sees If you've got a devil put hlm to work. ��� ��� ��� ��� You are what you think, and not what you think you are. sees If your religion does not change you, then you had better change your religion. se.es You can always tell what a man has not, by that which he ��mat admires. see* Intellectually and morally the fittest have never survived���hence an Intellec- tual race of scrubs. A leading divine In Montreal is denouncing graft In the government but says nothing aliout hia own profession. The Sabbath Observance Bill looks now like a popular exchange after the cold scissors of a country editor has slashed its vitality to a mutilated wreck. A movement Is on foot to amend thc Copyright Act so that authors will not have to send their copy any longer to the minister of Agriculture at Ottawa, just aa thouffh nothing waa written in Canada except essays on liogs or hard wheat The Holy City. Toronto is such a good city that It will not allow a red curtain to flash more than a few minutes it |g so full of churches that the bells on Sunday make you think of a boiler shop gone crazy. The people are so good that If you are sad, dry. broke or hungry si I you have to do Is to aek and they will fill you np with enough prayers and god advice to last a poor chap until the gravedtgger is throwing real estate upon hie coffin. With all Ita goodneas tt Is aot safe for female children to get away from their guardians la the Holy City for fear of being raped or Indecently assaulted. The holler a city or a people the more danger exists to youthful chastity. Too much piety breeds a epeclea of moral degenerates who lsck the courage or opportunity to visit a mature strumpet, but seek to wreck the Innocence and purity of children with their distorted and hellish passion. The effect of the same thing���loo much piety. Is plainly seen upon many clergymen who so often jump over the bars Into fields of sexual heaven or hell according to the finish of the play. Other elt lea should take a warning from Toronto snd avoid those great producers of Insanity ���piety and prayers. Taken In excesa they breed hallucinations which make the victim a wreck and a nuisance to bis neighbors. To be good we must be sane and no one can continually be sane and be Immoderate In anything. No really great man can continue to be a creed promoter. The wises*, farmers live In the New England states. Not one lu ten attend church. Papal Infallibility la th-" only dogma of Importance between Roman and Anglican Catholics. About the most striking thing In aome commercially servile newspapers Is au ad telling how to cure sore nipples A cure bas been discovered for lep rosy. Let us aot lose hope. A euro for graft at -Ottawa may yet be discovered. The shallowness of pink tend society ln Victoria la shown In the fact that the painted beauties of the upper ten prefer a remittance man to a man who earns his living by honest toll. Aa a rule a remittance man ia a high-toned pauper living upon the charity of his relatives. The enemies of Bob Green are Jumping at him like a lot of wolves who cannot reach the meat on the wood-pile. Bob must be a man of considerable brains and force or he would not have so many mad 'Injuns" after his scalp Either that or else his mental balance stops at Troy Instead of the standard weight. Bob should jump onto the public scales and snow the shooters for purity that he weighs more than all of Kaien Island, mm LOWERY'S CLAIM FROM THE EYE-OPENER If a woman's credit la food at a dry goods store, she never argues about the price. ��� ��� ��� ��� You may break all the commandments in the code, Provided that you do It a la mode. ��� $ 9 9 A girl seldom makes a mistake ln marrying a man who has lieen boarding ai hotels for years. Such a man will appreciate the ' ummlest kind of home cooking. Now then, don't all apeak at once. Enclose photo. ��� ��� ��� ��� The new dining room girl (from Car- stairs) seemed to suit Jack Moseley, the eminent proprietor of the Dominion and he decided to engage her. The girl had removed one hatpin from her hat and taken a peep Into the dining room. Seeing all the tables neatly set, ber smile faded. "Say. do you do your own stretch In?" she aaked. "Do we do our own what?" "Stretchln' " repeated the belle of Car- stairs. "Do you put the stuff all on the table at once and stretch for It, or have I got to shuffle It round?" ��� ��� et ��� The Methodist Conference met In Edmonton this week. Rev. Joseph Morris was appointed Moderator. The program on Tuesday morning was a most Interesting one and opened with a helpful address on the Basis of Religious Life. hy Rev. Robert Mays, pastor of the Star Methodist church. The paper read by Rev. Robt Cronn on the Goepels was much appreciated and the explanation of how five thousand people were fed on five loaves and five fishes was very satisfying. The reverend gentleman held the theory, originally put forward by German theologians, that the fish were whales. Discussion on this subject, and on the miracles generally, was led by Rev. Charles Barber, wbo gave a learned disquisition on the possibility, even at the present day, of changing water into wine. He adduced proofs by citing the parallel case���which he had frequently witnessed with his own eyes���of transforming Florida water Into whiskey. Rev. Mr. Clark, of Edmonton, wound up the morning session by singing Moody eft Sankey's beautiful hymn. "Everybody Works but Father." The afternoon was taken up with ordination services. ��� 0 ��� ��� Pat McCarthy had ben one of Frog- town's had boys, and one day he ran away, and nothing waa heard from him for more than a year, when he walked Into the Parish house and astonished Father Beckers, with, "Good evening, father." "Who the dlvll are ye? and where ye been? and where ye come from?" "Don't you know me father. I am little Pat McCarthy." "The dlvll ye are! Where ye been? and where did ye come from? and what ye heen doln'?" "Father, I have been a circus man." "A circus man, the dlvll ye have! What did ye do? and now did ye do it?" "Why father, I performed on a trapeze, turned somersaults and stood on me head." "The divil ye did, now let me see yeze do it, stand on yese head." Pat began standing on hia head for the gratification of the priest Just then Mrs. Murphy and Mrs. Maloney were passing along the street from a hard day's work down town scrubbing. Mrs. Murphy said: "Mrs. Maloney, I haven't been to confession this many a day, now let's go and see father Beckers." "Arrab, me darlint I am wid yese," said Mrs. Maloney. As they approached the Pariah house Mrs. Murphy heard an unusual noise within, which caused her to stop, then she stooped and peeped through the key hole, and saw a sight that caused ber to arise with an exclamation, "By the Holy Mother, Mrs. Maloney look! Father Beckers must be mad as hell!" "Why, what's the matter Mrs. Murphy?" "Why, matter enough, Mrs. Maloney, "father Beckers got a mon in there, standing on his head for plnnance." "Is that so, Mrs. Murphy, thin divil a bit do I go to plnnance. I haven't my "Neither have I." "Blessed Mary, Mrs. Murphy, what yeze reckons the matter wid the mon." The Vancouver Province says that Duncan Ross looks like the mildewed resemblance of a man. The Province should not he so hard on poor Duncan. No one outside can tell what these poor politicians have to contend with. Perhaps Duncan got mildewed from sitting- all night without holding a pair. The reason that the Butte Miners' Union Is so strongly opposed to socialism Is owing to the fact that the majority of its members are under the domination of a church that Is a deadly foe to the advance of thought or the uplifting of the worklngman from the serf that he hss always been to church, king and capital- Ottawa is said to be the most wicked of all Canadian cities. In order to make it worse Torrey, the well known expert on hell bas been engaged to shoot hot air at the devil while the suckers wilt put up tbe expenses. Torrey has made a specialty of bringing hell down to date. When he talks about it you can smell the sulphur and see the flames dancing around millions of grafters. Torrey has made money out of hell although he is so superstitious that he will not use a British hymnal. The Ixirds Day Act now before the grafters ln Ottawa Is a leaf blown from the barbarous past Into a free country- Its passage will mean that the people of Canada are mentally childish, incapable of resisting the cunning of theological dope peddlers or their willing tools, the grafting, vote-aeeking politicians. Between the two Canada will be saddled with a law that will hammer liberty against the cross of fanaticism and engender rebellious thoughts in the minde of all whose souls are free from the taint of slavery. MoGINNIS AND THE UNION LABEL. Mr. Joseph A. McGlnnis was for unions all the way: He favored larger wages and a somewhat shorter day, A walkout always pleased him, though he didn't have a cent But when tihe delegate aaid "Strike" McGlnnis always went He did the shopping for his wits because he liked to know That naught aave union articles were purchased with his dough. "Haa It got the union label?" McGlnnis used to say, "Has it got the union label? Show it to. me if you're able, If it hasn't got the label take tbe bloom- in' thing away." McGlnnis had no children, though ho hoped to have eome day, ,' t And his wife who "seen her duty," waa opinioned the same way: �� So when the stork arrived one day and brought a bouncing boy McGlnnis was elated���he was overcome with joy, He looked the baby over, hia face wreathed ia a grin, When all at once a thought occurred which filled him with chagrin. "Haa it got the union label?" McGlnnis used to say. "Has lt got the union label? Show it io me If you're able, If it hasn't got the label take the bloom- In' thing away." Now. Joseph A. McGlnnis was a man of good repute. He went to church on Sunday in hia union tailored suit Like many other union men lie led a blameless life, And when he died the neighbors said, "The blow will kill his wife." He reached the pearly gates on time, aa upright spirits do, "Welcome," was Peter's greeting, "and I have a harp for you." "Has it got the union label?" McGlnnis used to say. "Has it got the union label? Show It to me if you're able. If it hasn't got the label take the bloom- in' thing away." *; ���American Printer. The graft now raging at Ottawa .la said to be something like the ravages of la grippe upon the physical system. The disease is exceedingly contagious and almost every Grit and his family have suffered from lt. Expulsion from office, or a visitation of Providence is the only, sure remedy. After all the dollar ia the god and king of America and moat of the Inhabitants bow to it like a Swiss waiter chasing a tip. With money you can buy anything from murder to a matrimonial alliance and the story is generally fir- en out that a rich man can no more cat Into heaven than a pack mule can go- through the eye of a darning needle without breaking the diamond hitch. "*> i ��� i...I...--i,,��� LOWERY'S OLAIM Better Catch On. Hubbard, In Philistine. The average person, although perhaps free from superstitious beliefs, is not free from orthodox habits. The habit of fear, hate, and cold feet is upon us all. Very much otherwise sensible people labor under the hallucination that it is the quantity of food we eat that makes us strong. After a square meal, with plenty of meat, we expect to be ready for any conflict���mental or physical��� and if we do not get quite enough to eat, or just what we want, we feel 'weak as a cat." and explain tbe fact to our friends. Many people have to be supplied coffee in bed before they have the courage to face the day. I know a man who weighed two hundred who occasionally awakens in the night and feels so faint, that he gets up aad gropes his way to the pantry where he fortifies himself against fate with a mince pie. The superstitious habit is upon us! What we need to know is that lack of health, diminishing strength, business disasters, loss of friends, and that faint feeling are all directly caused by chronic abnormal conditions of mind. Like old Job, that which we feared has come upon us. By a wrong mental attitude we have set in motion a train of events that ends in disaster. People who die in middle life from disease, almost without exception, have been preparing for death. Tbe acute tragic conditio nis simply the result of a chronic state of mind���a culmination of events. ln days agone I have taken some sidewinders at doctors, but I now want to say, to ease my conscience, that there are a few doctors who are big, generous, truthful men, and who are brave enough to tell their patients truth even at the risk of offending them. One of the big men of this country is Dr. J. H. Tilden of Denver. Tilden ls so big aud great that be has never been encysted in professional learning; nor lost In a capsule of Latin derivatives; nor bas he like a small sponge, been sewed up through error, in an obdominal cavity by an over-worked or absent-minded surgeon. Sometime ago I made the statement that cancer was often the direct result of persistent wrong thinking, and it brought down on me through the malls a fine assortment of epithets from people who were confident they knew better. But now comes Dr. Tilden and not only declares that hate, worry, excens, fear, and midnight meals may cause cancer, but hernia also. And that thi conditions named may so thin your blood and relieve it of its fibrin, that if you have a tooth pulled, there Is not sufficient coagulating substance In the blood to stop hemorrhage and you may bleed to death, this with the help of a -fool doctor who stimulates your heart's action instead of diminishing it 'The typhoid fever bacillus lives for three weeks and then dies, unless the doctor stuffs his patient and feeds the germs so they may reproduce, then the fever last six weeks or possibly twelve. It is a contest between the bacilli and patient���the winner taking the gate receipt* Tuberculosis is a fight between the man and the microbes. -Often the man dies first But if he can keep out of doors, soak his hide full of sunshine and eat nourishing food, and begins this mode of life early enough, the tuberculae die and the man Uvea on until he is ninety-two An autopsy then would show scare and cicatrices in the lung tissue, caused by the ravages of the disease, sixty years before. Tuberculae are found In every healthy person, but in reasonable quantity. It is only an excess of tuberculae that is dangerous. In right numbers bacilli tear down worthless tissue so Nature can remove it, and thus are a beneficial factor in life's economy. Wasn't lt David Haruin who told us a reasonable number of fleas were good for a dog? Once when 1 waa about fifteen year* old I went with my father to see a man who waa suffering from strangulated hernia, the result of an,accident Two doctors were working over him. and the poor fellow was suffering terribly from their manipulations. My father took charge of the case at once. "Here. Bert." he said. "You get hold of this man's feet and stand on that chair!" I seized the patient by the ankles and stood' him on hia head. In ten seconds the hernia was reduced. My father applied a tampon, which waa later replaced by a truss, snd the man got well. Question:���Did we reduce the hernia? No, we simply availed ourselves of natural law���the law of gravitation. All we did was to give Nature a chance. Dr. Tilden Is so big and great that he belives we should always give Nature s chance. Tilden says disease is the result of wrong thinking, and wrong thinking leads to wrong action, and wrong action leads to reduced tonicity of the muscular fibres and as result we get hernia, cancer, appendicitis���an attack upon the weakest point ln our physical fortress. Of course I like Tllel-n���he corroborates what I say���or at least some of the things I say���and from hia pew shouts. "Amen!" Most chronic invalids are suffering from medication���poisoning of the system through drugs taken to relieve a discomfort The said discomfort being a beneficent warning on the part of Nature, trying to call attention to bad air, bad food, too much food, budge, boose, hate, fear, envy, jealousy and a hot intent to have a good time, a fear of punishment after death and a lustful looking forward to an eternity of Idle rest in heaven. These are all dangerous things���bad for the digestion, causing malnutrition, faulty circulation, Imperfect sleep, and loss of that resiliency, or resisting power witnout which health flags���the bars are down, and the cows are tn the corn. A rational love of life���this life here and now���means allowing Nature's forces to play through you. Man Is a land animal and an air-breathing animal. You cant live In the water or up a tree or up a akyscraper-all the time, if yoi'i try it you soon lose your resisting power and succumb to any old disease that happens tobe along about that time, a disease is like a gray wolf on the plain ���it attacks the weak, the lame, and th�� depressed-all who lag behind. Ami when it gives a yelp, up from their hiding places come more wolves. No person ever died from one disease���he falls victim to a whole pack of diseases He acquires one. but doesn't succumb until .another one with sharper fangs shows up. This one that deals the deathblow the doctors call a "complication " A doctor can manage lumbago, but when the patient begins to retch, has vertigo, hemorrhage, a fluttering heart and reversed peristalsis begins, the doctor gets panic-stricken and joining with the complication, gives morphine��� and rest follows. In various state legislatures bills are up giving doctors the right to kill their patients, under certain conditions. Theae are unnecessary measures, quite��� doctor take the Uvea of their patients now and they always have. If you do not want a doctor to take your life, keep away from him. Uig daily In the dirt; get on good terma with trees and flowers, birds and grass���they are your brothers, all; mix more with animals and less with men; love horses and cows anel care for them; be extravagant only in tbe use of fresh air: eat anything you like, but in moderation; think well of everybody���eveu doctors, lawyers aod preachers, for they are all acting according to their highest light. Keep busy activity ls life. The genuine joys of life are to be gotten from useful effort, and to hunt for pleasure* Lh to lose It Do your work and pleasure will come to you. Health Is your due and will flow to you naturally If you do not get too anxious about lt. God Is on our side. The wide acceptance and practice of Fletcheriam la bound to lessen human ills and lengthen life to a degree no man can compute. The practice of Fletchelsm la as free from danger as th" reckless use of the warm pedaluvis. It demands no mechan- iam snd soon evolves Into an enjoyable habit, lis only disadvantage is that no one can successfully do the work for you���In Its exercise you cannot employ cheap labor. It ts so simple It makes the learned laugh. When lt Is explained everybody saya: "We alwaya knew It" In fact, a few have always practised It It Is not patented, nor covered by copyright We can even make use of Fletcheriam and hoot Fletcher; we can follow his ideas and sneeze on mention of bis name. although, as a mater of psychology. I would advise anyone who wants to get the most out of Fletcheriam to think of Fletcher���and everybody. What Is Fletchertsm? Ill tell you. lt Is the education of the physical sense of taste. How can I exercise my sense of taste? In only one way���by tasting. When you eat, take small mouthfula LOWBRt'S CLAIM. and taste your food���taste, taste, taste. Hold your food in your mouth, and taste it, masticate It chew it, munch it, even though it be milk. Keep tasting it, until the taste disapears and when this happens It will disappear of Itself by Involuntary swallowing. Nature's plan ia that the first step of digestion shall occur in tbe mouth. The saliva ia a chemical production���the invention of God, and you cannot safely omit It Saliva changes starch into sugar. People who put forth an effort to swallow, bolt their food, and leave it to the thirty-two feet of allmentry canal to care for. Food not masticated���that is perfectly mixed with saliva, putrefies, throws off gas an dmakes of the man more or leas of a nuisance to society. Windy Bill as a companion ls no more desirable than Calamity Jake, no matter how many college degrees he holds, nor what church he attends. Gents who eat seven courses, well wsshed down, need a nap after dinner with a copy of the New York World over their faces to keep off the blue bottles. They have bulk but not beauty, else Instead of strength and sleepy tips instead of subtlety of discernment. Without making any argument for the use oflntoxJcants, I wish to say that the man who sips hie drink will never become a drunkard, but the person who gulps his drink may. All drunkards gulp and bolt as a habit, and every drunkard la suffering from imperfect nutrition. Indeed, the craving for stimulants Is a-sure Indication of an improperly nourished body. Most people are human sewer traps. carrying with them constantly decaying masses of refuse that keep them fifty per cent sick. The real wonder is that they live at all. Eczema, gout, headache, pimples, boils, bad breath, sre all symptoms of food-poisoning. Nature supplies us an unfailing guide to quality snd quantity. Thia guide is the sense of taste. Where you taste everything you eat, holding lt In your mouth and masticating It until the sense of taste is gone you will never eat too much, nor will you eat the wrong thing. Meat that Is '"Igh" you can bolt like a buzzard, but Nature will forbid your holding it in your mouth and there reducing it to a fluid. Your glands will refuse to supply saliva for it, ancl it will be spewed like fslse doctrine. Ptomaine poisoning���a most dreadful thing���-could not occur If the person held the morsel In his mouth and chewed it for ten seconds. Man enjoy sthe supreme privilege of being sble to put an enemy ln his mouth to steal away his brains. He can eat the wrong thing��� the wild ass of the desert never does. Man enjoys the sole distinction, of all the animals, of being the only one that resorts to suicide. Man Is often on such bad terms with life the he runs away from it���in him the elements are not well mixed. That which tastes right and to which the salivary glands respond, is good for food and wil agree with yon: that which makes you close your eyes and work your swallowing apparatus hard��� all that whtch has to be washed down or that requires a chaaer, is going to tax your vitality thirty per cent ad valorem and eventually take your carcass for pay. Fletcheriam does not mean that you shall diet, nor painstakingly select and analyze. It means eat anything you like, but chew It until it is swallowed automatically. Enjoy it���that is the Idea Eat like an epicure who lives to eat���thia is the kind of eating that will make you live. To masticate the morsel, holding it In your mouth until it is fluid, means that you will cut down the quantity of your food about one-half. Sip your coffee and chew It and you will never drink two cups. Probably you will be satisfied with less than one cup. One egg will satisfy you, where before lt required two. And as for meat a gradual dislike for thefleah of dead animals will come stealing over your senses. Cannibals I am told, always bolt their missionary. Fletcherism implies the calm, quiet, deliberate enjoyment of your food. Things you cannot enjoy you will not eat Nature will take care of you���trust her! Eat to enjoy your food, and for no other reason. When you cannot enjoy your food do not eat. Trust your desires. If you have no appetite, it means that your system demands a rest. Have faith���you are a part of Nature and are very dear to her���she will not desert you. The a*ze Is right for Fletcherism for we no longer believe tht Nature Is a trickster, luring us on Into sin and wrong to work our ruin. Through tbe belief that Nature was opposed to God. men turned from the enjoyment of the senses as base. We first replaced Nature with religion, and theu we Introduced a strange composite thing, born of one parent, the Intellect, and we call it civilization. It has been for Horace Fletcher to show us that Nature and Civilization are not wholly incompatible. Civilization has well nigh deprived us of physical courage by appointing Irish specialists with night sticks and hurry- up wagons to protect us, instead of allowing us to protect ourselves. Our search for knowledge has made us myopic, so we grope Instead of seeing. A very commonplace yellow dog has ���� ��*etter sense of smell than the best man. Tbe sense of taste in many people is almost rudimentary. And down in Philadelphia a doctor has discovered a new disease for which he prophesies great things. He calls it "the Telephone Ear," and he haa a private hospital where he oner at��s on affected souse. There have ben those who say tbat the man of the future will be bald, blind, deaf and devoid of the sense of smell and taste. Sans eyes, sans ears, sans taste, sans everything! However, we are not alarmed, for before this dread condition comes, people will cease to reproduce. The third generation, now, c.ttv bred, is impotent The argument of Malthus that If the rate of increase I kept on, that In the year 2000 mankind (would be standing on each other three deep has no terrors, for we know that long before men stand on each other's heads they will cease to breed. Starving people do not fall in love. Horace Fletcher says: "Use your senses and use them rationally If you would keep them,' There Is only one sense really, and that Is feeling. Seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting are all variation^ of the sense of feeling. See, hear, smell, taste ���enjoy. Mr. Fletcher especially believes that through the disuse of our sense of taste we have acquired abnormal appetlties��� vicious desires���false taste, and the only way to get back to Nature Is to chew, masticate, munch everything we eat To give the world a scientific lesson Mr. Fletcher placed himself under the charge of physicians who kept accurate record of his physical functions for a year and found that with one-half the food consumed by the average person, the man had double the capacity for work. He proved this; it is not what you eat, but what you digest that gives you strength. Then Mr. Fletcher took various other candidates and by following his plan of perfect tasting and complete mastication, with no special plan of exercise or diet, the quantity of their food-waa reduced and the weight of the persons waa cut down, in some cases, from rJwo hundred to one hundred and sixty ipounds. All this with a greatly increase*! capacity for mental and physical endurance. To practice Fletcherism you^tdo not have to send for Fletcher. You do not even have to get his consent or remit him anything for the right to use his ideas. All you have to do is to taste, taste, taste, and chew, munch and masticate. Great is Horace Fletcher for he haa told us the things we always knew, but which we never knew we knew until he told us. ��� HARD ON FRISCO "Veil," said George Henry Fisher, aa he bustled into our editorial parlor and sat down on the powder magazine, "dot vas an awful dongs vat happened mlt 'Frisco. It just put me in mind of vat I read at der time aboud Sodamned und Gomorrow. Dose town vera awful vickedund Gott call up der devil ofer der telephone and say: 'BUI, go to Sod- omned und Gomorrow und find me six goot men.' BUI he vent but he could not find der six so Gott tell Bill to give dem a big dose, und he did, you bet" "Veil," said George as he looked at a brewery picture on the wall, "'Frisco vas much der same as dose old towns, so Gott sends a wireless message to Bill telling him to hit der pike for 'Frisco und bring pack just two goot men. BUI he go but he come pack vidout der two goot mens und den -Gott tell Bill to pull der wire und 'Frisco goes Kersmaah! Vid Its tallywaggle in ruins, and ita people looking at hell vid der lid smashed rigd troo der middle. My nerves are ao bad efer since dat 1 must now go out mlt der door und prospect for a brewery, t vlnd aome float dis mornings/' 7.-''r,rr, r:r-7fOKKmmmmum*mmmm CLAIM Watch The Curtain. By BUI Barlow. Are your window curtains long enough ���and are you sure? The public with its all-seeing eye���the envious and disgruntled���the Mother Grundys consumed with curiosity, and the holier-than- thoue who lead the bunch as hide hunters���all have their eyes glued to the bottom of the sash and are ready to holler fire at the first symptom of something doing within. Better to ba sure��� anyway, give 'em another yank, for luck! My Methodist brethren up at White Pigeon, Michigan, are doing a sack- clothian stunt in the sere and yellow and filling the pine woods with earnest prayer for a couple of souls irretrievably lost���just because of two inches of curtain which ought to have been but werent It grew out of an excess of zeal ���a desire to do overtime in the local vineyard. Sinners were not being shovelled into the hopper fast enough by the local pastor, the Rev. C. H. Anderson��� who, by the way, had a young and lovely wife who could do her trick at the prayer wheel like a neophyte. It was decided that what the community needed waa an old fashioned revival and to this end a noted travelling evangelist named George &. Allen was engaged to assist local talent in the work of warming up the weary and heavy laden and compelling Satan to get a move, lt was arranged that G��t-Em-All Allen should be Rev. Anderson's guest during his stay. The meetings opened well as they always do, and within a week tbe rush for the penitential bench took on all the eclat of a department store bargain counter. Brother Allen was a hoss as-an exhorter, and could expound the word until there was nothin' in it but hands up and come right in. Meanwhile he occupied the guest chamber at tbe house of his host; Mr. Anders >n being an invalid slept alone as was bis wont. with his wife In an adjoining room���also ensuite with that of their guest as it happened, but protected as to privacy by a locked door. The meetings ran on Into the second week; but one night Rev Mr. Anderson heard an unusual noise in the room adjoining his own and ou attempting to enter and ascertain what waa the cause was unable to gain admittance; but being unwilling to awaken hia wife who had retired an hour before he went back to bed. The same noises and: same conditions obtaining the night after, the gentleman decided to investigate. Then minutes later he had his face glued to a sash where hung a curtain which was two inches short���then crept back to his couch, mind-wrecked and broken. Better take a look at that curtain, ere it la everlastingly too late! Brother Allen had the devil on the run���the deacons were agreed that there was no doubt as to that. A frenzy swept the town .and Its population of 700 souls fairly filled the church to overflowing. Hie sermon the next night was a powerful and scathing arraignment of the home wrecker. "Woe unto tbe de- spoiler of the home," said he. "There Is one law for the woman and another for the man who if anything la more guilty. Both should he equally punished. There ia no more heinous crime than to mislead a worthy womaa." An hour after the service four faces were glued to the sash where hung that abbreviated shade���the pastor having called three of the brethren to witness a condition which to them sensed incredible. Next day Mr. Allen left town on foot and by preemptory request, and Mrs. Anderson took the first train on a visit to her mother���and notices were posted about the village that owing to the sudden Illness of the evangelist the series of revival meetings must be die- continued for the present. Are your window curtains long enough ���best be sure! When Mme. Re Jane showed Jimmie Hyde and his friends a few things ln Parisian lags and lingerie and Watson hollered "Wow!" insurance and corporate leaders, liars and leeches smiled a supercilious and wondered wearily what fell we were going to do about It. They were all right���always had cut There a a rumpus and row <��, m ial clrclea Hia Whiskers or Her hSi neas decide that fences must be built and lines of demarcation located and plotted aiid graved on tablets of stone whereby the blue-bloods may be dis tlngulshed from the common, every dav" beily-buttona. There is always an aris' tocracy, dontcherknow-it is a question of refinement aa against a rough house on the rebound-Cui.ture vs Co-*! Socka-whether or no the stall-fed shall mingle with the common herd tn th�� big corral Nobody with a reasonably freah recollection of a revolutionary greatgrand can afford to touch elbows with a people who turn up their nose at that sacred shrub, the family tree Finally some fool remembers that It was on the section His Whiskers made his first raise, and that Her Highness was an automowalt ln a Chink chill���the which brethren, again appreciably accentuates the points of the parable of the short shade. Are your window curtains long enough ���heat be euro! The prudent man remembers, always when confronted with temptation, that their own cheese ***_*****�� tbeydj there are many windows at whlc��j some- ��ne waits, it does not nasasaarlty tc i- low that he girds up bis ihns and i :.i, Satan get a hustle and fall .*i behind, however; but does afford i.iar./ a timely hunch to pull down th* blind net it* undertaking a writ of moral n: other hi1(- erceraa. The scandalous re*'"la'. Urn* which we get In the newspapers nowa- daya are largely the resull or bar-etnls- ter assurance run riot -doubtless many of them small and Inconscqtp-ntlal in the beginning, but now grown to mammoth proportions In thc cultures of graft anel unlimited license. The Dlgelow and municipal exposures at Milwaukee-the strike-graft scandal at Chicago���the *w ri(>|) ��� how. ..,���. wm. of a family had 1*1 an praiseworthy ami ^ w| for hiV(t an(| ,.r (!l,. exemplary life He bad ben a deacon tn ,lk.n|| of r, h| ,��� tl,at |Wllll> of Wnf8 the church, always a stickler of pop-L, ulu>n lll|H. thft, ..whlll , UKl. ��� goes-the-weasel piety a persuasive pur-|m|n .. fc|% , , |oolM,nlng of ���,,,. ^^A^^JL^S^*?!?^ fashioned ties of honesty and morality and a thirty-two Incandescent at Sunday school aolries. It Is recalled that he was also hell for the sanctity of his under a freer and faster regime���the lure of the flesh and the swapping of materialism for senaoallsm���these and ???S?^^^^?^*^L1.^^?.-.��^?!Imori and much of which according to the old proverb of "What people don't know won't hurt 'em" would never have been, had the atnner looked after the shade. Nobody Is entirely honest In all the word Implies, netther with himself nor with others���you ami 1 and everyone wear a handkerchief over the face In which we cut two holes and be- LUlth passed by on the other side, and that it was once whispered among the elect that he had actually expressed au opinion mildly criticizing the Saviour because of His perverse views anent the proper punishment which ought to have been meted out to the unclean but penitent Mary the Magdalen. He is buried ^x^r^x^vr?^ w- ����* - ��������-�� w,"rh - and on the third day a morganatic wife with four pledges of affection bobs up and puts in a claim for mortuary alimony. Are your window curtains long enough���best be sure! know to be contraband according to going ethics, snd through which we try to size up the other fellow's cards. We are not criminals ln that sense; but the man or woman doesn't live who does not endeavor to deceive and dupe to a elegree. Honesty U still the best policy, as thoy LOWERY'S CLAIM who trangreas learn sooner or later; but if you must- Are your window curtains long enough ���best be sure! The peanut-head who has made his pile through sheer stress of physical and social starvation���the swell-head who forgets to remember the friends who made bim���the politician who loses sight of his people���the knocker whose nut needs nailing, the grafter and hypocrite and liar and thief and all their Ilk���all fail at some time of life to either yank the Hartshorn all the way down or put out the light���and we get a look-in which while it may break up a revival, does help a little. And Anally, a word with you, dear: Are you window curtains long enough- best be sure! THE HIDDEN HOARD. I have read the story of captain Kldd, till it started me wishing I was a sailor and had a spade. As I grew older���for you never grow younger���I concluded that all this hooray about buried treasure was rot, till Big BUI married Sar' Ann. ���It waa this way. Sar' Ann had been pretty clost with Big Bill, an' had gone through his pockets on several occasions. So when Big BUI came home the other night pretty middlin' full, he bid his bullion in the clock and went to bed. In the morning he woke up with an awful head on him. He reckoned up where he had been���In the Shades, sure thing; he and the bartender had bad a tiff about the change there. And at the Gold Dollar���the feller who butted Into the treat got turned down���and���where was his money? BUI got out of hed and felt in his pockets. Nothing there! Robbed! robber! robbed! The cold sweat started on him. "Sar' Ann!" he said to his wife, "quit playin' yer jokes. You've got the money." "What money?" "The money 1 had ln my clothes last night" "You hadn't a nickel In your clothes, you drunken brute! Why do you ask me for It for? Why don't you go to some of the bums thai you associate with? I'm a decent woman. 1 don't pick pock- eta, and even if I did go through you it would be a God's blessing." He went down town sad at heart, and stood unhappy and moneyless at tbe corner where the people are thickest The great clock hypnotized him. He stared at it till it seemed to point somewhere���to talk to him. He thought he saw In the dial a nervous imp who was nopping about in a frenzy trying to put him next to something. At last lt dawned upon him���the clock at home���Ah! how cunning he had been! He fled towards his home. He might have walked for all thc good lt did him. Iror his wife, who kept her little feminine secrets ln the clock, had reached in for one and found A Wad! She lightly lifted here lingerie, there was a snap of elastic, and that wad was hid Inside the wainscoting of the hosiery department That's what I call buried treasure; and it'a like Captain Kldd'a dough��� you can't get at it���no, you can't get at it���The Khan in Hamilton Herald. BILL BARLOW'S WIT. She was weighed���but, alas, found wanton. * * ��� ��� True love stands for constancy���vows were made for those whom a cable would not hold. S ��� ��� ��� The morning cocktail ia the banana peel on which so many slip when setting out on the path of reformation. ��� ��� ��� ��� God bless us all���that will hold Him for a while. e�� ��� ��� ��� What would seem to fill the bill ia a creed which can compete with a toboggan elide. ��� ��� ��� ��� Gratitude with her, may be for favors past���with him, too often, is for favors expected. ��� ��� ��� ��� Prudery is not modesty���virtue profits as often from bad example as the other. MORE BUNCO Noncomformlty in Wharfedale has I been thrown into commotion by the ad- ) vent of a new sect known as "the Church of Christ" or, as they are more popularly designated, "The Millenial Dawn- ists." The sect holds that man Is mortal and tbat lie will not be endowed with a soul until the resurrection, which is timed for ��� 1915. Then Christ will appear on earth [and preside at the head of the church which will consist only of those who have been faithful and true under the new dispensation. This will he the beginning of the millennial age, which will continue for one thousand years. During this period Christ and the church will act as the tribunal, and all who have not previously joined this new church will be given an opportunity of attaining the perfect life. Guides will be provided to direct thein along the paths of holiness, and the devil will be chained up in order that they may be saved from temptation. If, at the end of a thousand years, they succeeded in reaching their original state, the spotless Adam, they will be endowed with life everlasting, but will not be admitted to the church, this privilege having been forfeited by not joining the correct church before the dawn of millennium. The members of this church are to be the bride df Christ In the new era, and tbey will be the first to rise at the resurrection and be known as the first fruits. The next will be those who ultimately win salvation and are admitted to life eternal, while all the rest will go to the second death, which is everlasting death.���London News, ' A NEW CURE FOR HICCOUGH * *- * -i t ., Hundreds of remedies for hiccoughs have been suggested, ranging from different drugs to physical culture exercises. Here is one suggested by an ordinary bartender; Give me something for the h\c- coughs," said a patron to him recently. I m eober all right, but I have those annoying belches." The bartender produced a clean towel and filled a glass with water. He stretched the towel tightly over the top of the glass and handed it to the sufferer "Drink the water through the towel" he directed. The man on the other side of the bar did so, and presently announced that his attack of hiccoughs had ceased. "It never fails," remarked the bartender, turning to wait upon another customer. - LITTLE ALFIB King Alfonso of Spain, says the Rip- Saw, was married in June. God pity poor Ena, as he is a moral reprobate as far as he has got sense enough to be, and it don't take much sense to be a degen- ate. Little "Alfie," about a year ago, took it into his "noodle" that he was going to see the sights, so he got together his cigarette paper and his nightshirt and set out for Paris, France, and after he got there he let the "moguls" of France understand that he wanted to have a hell of a time, and he wanted that time to begin right quick. It is told of this little "rooster" that after reaching his hotel In Paris he had a doll-faced female sent up to his room so that he could make love to her. There has been a French play put on the boards called "His First Journey," and in that play is depicted "Alfie's" love affair with this Parisian siren. It is a most disgusting and nauseating affair, and the Spanish authorities will try their hardest to have the play ruled off the stage as they are- afraid that Princess Ena will learn of "Alfs" meanderings In Paris and refuse to put her clothes in his trunk. in �����.- I. i i EFFECTS OF COFFEE While without doubt some prejudice has been awakened against coffee by advertising its alleged evil effects, the grocer who finds that there is strong feeling against the use of tbe berry will not be hard pressed to find plenty of authoritative matter stating that coffee Is not harmful, but is positively beneficial. There are people who cannot drink coffee without suffering. There are people who cannot drink milk. We once knew a lady who could not eat strawberries without suffering violent pains for some hours afterward. The vast majority ot us find that milk is the foundation of living, that strawberries are delicious and that coffee helps ue and doea not hurt us in the least A distinguished dietist announces that the only thing in coffee whloh could be considered harmful is caffeine, and that it is found in quantities ot less than 2 per cent He believes that much ot the trouble produced by drinking coffee comes from using it with milk. As far aa la known, coffee is not a tissue builder, but it is a tissue saver, aa it prevents tissue waste to a certain extent It is also a slight stimulant n 10 I In i I. ��� ��� ���-���*�� LowEHY*e Claim TEN RULES THAT LEADS TO SUCCESS 1. Take as much interest in your employer's business as if it were your own. 2. Do not expect to get all you can and give nothing. Do a little more work than ia demanded. 3. Be prompt Show that you have an interest in your work above a desire for a half hour ia bed in the morning. You can't come down a half hoar late every morning and impress your employer with the idea that you are a wide-awake, active man or woman with an interest in your work. 4. Do your work well today, you won't have to do any of it over again tomorrow. 5. Be cheerful and willing. A sullen countenance is not pleasant to look upon either by an employer or a customer. Remember your pulling powers with a customer is one of your assets. The reverse will be your loss. Be courteous. Do not thrust your own trouble and in- harmony upon those around you. It is a poor investment 6. Be conscientious. Don't take too v.*uch interest ln ball games, theatres, parties, etc., or you may find that you have not much time left to give to your work. Don't have a relative die too often. Funerals sometimes grow monotonous to an employer during the baseball season or on matinee afternoons. 7. Do not make the aame mistake twice. 8. Do not let your thoughts be always wool-gathering if you expect an increase of salary on payday. 9. Do not shirk your work and he always thinking of the money side of the proposition. Give good value for the money you* receive and you will be cure to succeed. 10. Put yourself in your employer's place and figure out what kind of an employee you would hire to get the most out of your business. There is no short easy road to success, but it is well worth travelling.��� Printers' Ink. of the age, Indeed, ia toward condensation. People live in fiats, own folding baby carriages, aad even drink condensed milk. -There ls no reason why sermons should not share in this general condensing process. They have of course, to a great extent, if we compare the modern sermon with Its two-hour predecessor of half a century ago, but many persons believe there is room for still more improvement. Brevity may be the soul of sermons as well as the soul of wit People nowadays are more intellectually nimble. They are quicker to catch a point and the elaboration of ideas after the style of the old three-decker discourse, is not required. The long sermon is simply an excuse for a snooze. The preacher who knows his business can say enough in fifteen minutes to keep one thinking the rest of the week. Not every clergyman will have the courage to invite his congregation to hold a stop watch on him, but it is an excellent idea. What we want are better proportioned sermons; deeper, bnt not so long. The "say-when" sermon is characteristic of this hustling nation.��� Pittsburg Gazette. SAY-WHEN artRMONS A pulpit innovation, which we cannot but regard as even more radical than the preaching phonograph which was commented upon recently ln these columns, is to be introduced by the Bev. James Clarkson, of Detroit Beginning today, he wUl preach none hut what for the lack of a better term we may call "say- when" sermons. That ia to any, the minister will depend upon his congregation to tell him when to conclude hia sermon. "Whenever you think I have preached long enough, I want any of you to say eo, and I will immediately announce the last hymn. It ia not always possible for a preacher to tell just when he should saw off, and I for one, shall be grateful for suggestions. You will not offend be by calling time. Say when, and I'll stop." We have all heard of the clergyman who, upon reminding a young woman parishioner that them ia a sermon ln every blade of glass, waa reminded, ln turn, that "grass la cut very short at this season of the year." The tendency how to do It But the church aa well aa the state ia under indictment Haa not tha church been telling ua that the individual problem la everything; that if the Individual soul is saved, society will save itself? Are not the packers church members? Is not their gold lifted to God every Sabbath day? Do not their pastors encourage them in the idea that their sous are already saved? Haa the enure* lost ita effectiveness, or is its philosophy wrong? But while we are waiting for the church to convert the packers, or for socialism to convert the packing business, why not turn vegetarians? There are weary arguments for and agalnstthis course. But "don't argue��� try it" This Is the ttme to make tbe experiment Perhaps meat eating ls not at all a necessity, aa is thought but only We are not responsible for the tooth and claw struggle of the universe. That la the saddest of mysteries. But we remember the words of the prophet: "They shall not hurt or destroy ln ail my holy moutain." Those words were born in man's soul, is It not his destiny to give them reality? ���HERBERT S. BIGELOW. TOO GOOD TO LIVE The grimy-looking tramp espied the cottage door ajar and little Johnnie playing at marbles Ju.it inside, ao he pounced on hia prey. "Look 'ere young 'un," said he, taking him by the collar .....*-..��. ��������.v����~.*, �����.��.��.....��.- j gjjj shaking him, "Just tell me where And to this category of ripe pro-1 your father ke���pa hJg ^^ And !f you don't, I'll knock your head off and then I'll eat you." "Oh, please don't do that sir," said little Johnnie. "You'll find ail the money we've got in an old waistcoat in the back kitchen sir." 8ixty seconds later a human avalanche was hurled bodily through the front door. It alighted ln the gutter, wbere It sat awhile and opened and shut Ita eyes t osee If It was still alive. Partially assurred on that important point at last, it said���"That kid's too good to lira He's too smart to be natural. Never said a word about tbe old man being Inside o' that there old weskit." FLESH EATING. In hia famous letter to the London Times, on the land question in Russia, Tolstoy spoke of several ideas as ripe for discussion and action. He spoke of private property in land as the"nearest and most obvious evil." He held that besides facing thia evil our civilization must also face the problems of capital punishment, prostitution, and militarism hlema he added the practice of flesh-eat Ing. The packinghouse exposure Is the most effective argument ever made for a vegetarian diet It will be hard for imaginative people to forget those dead rats and amputated fingers. They will reflect tha/ there ia already an army of government meat Inspectors. If, with all these ln specters, it took a socialist novel to acquaint the public with conditions, how secure wdll these Imaginative people feel when the government bas a few more inspectors? We used to go to the priests for salvation. Now we go to the state. We fly to the arms of the government inspector, lust as If he had not already lieen tried and found wanting. "Oh." sal da lady, 'the government le goin gto put a label on meat It will be all right now." Great ls government! With a government label on the sausage, and a rabbit's foot around the neck, may luck be with us! At any rate, we may try eating as governor Plngree used to vote, holding the none. Socialists have capitalized this Incident They have a right to���It was a socialist who started It So they say. "Let ua establish government packing houses. And the one recourse which seems to occur to everyone���an Increase of the Inspectors���>Ia soelallatio In its tendency. There la this difference between socialistic people and socialists. The socialists want the government to stick our pigs for ua The socialistic people want the government to tell tha packers HE KNEW HE WAS SAFE. Scene: Luncheon at a fashionable iouse in Park Lane. Charles, agad five. Is misbehaving himself; his mother (sotto voice): "If you don't behave yourself, Charlie, "I'll smack you!" Charlie: "You can't ma; I'se sitting on lt!" ���Birmingham Weekly Foot A Kansas paper tells a story of an old negro who rose up In his church and made these earnest remarks: "Bred- erln' and slstern", I'se been a mighty mean nigger ln my time. I'se had a heaps of ups and downs���'specially downs, since I jlned the church. I'ae stole chickens and watermllllons; I'se cussed; got drunk; I shot craps; I'se slashed odder coons wid my razor, and done a sight o' other things, hut thank de LaWd, brederin and elstern', I'se never yet lost my religion.* LOWERY'S OLAIM THE DIVINE RACKET. Senator Beveridge, of Indiana, a few weeks ago, la the Indiana state convention, made a speech declaring that "President Roosevelt waa divinely chosen to lead the nation." Now wouldn't that kind of "rot" make a man of only ordinary Intelligence throw up hia socks? This "divine racket business" is the same stuff that la preached by kings and queens to their "doped" subjects. Any man who will preach auch a fallacious doctrine la a fool for the lack or sense, or else he desires to betray the confidence of the masses. Now. if president Roosevelt was "divinely chosen" to lead the nation, bow does lt come that the God of heaven had to use stolen money to help elect him? As it is a notorious fact that there was hundreds of thousands of dollars used to turn the trick, and $50,000 of that amount was stolen from the policy-holders ot the New York Life Insurance company. Now, if God Almighty Is running heaven on stolen money, then we cant see much difference ln going to hell, or having a pair of wings screwed on us after death to flap around in a heavenly atmosphere dominated by thieves and thugs.���Rip-Saw. . - .��� i ��� ***��� ��� ��� i f, FURTHER THAN THAT Once, when Chauncey M. Depew was making a trip through the south his train stopped to cool *a hot box at a desolate little place In Arkansas. Then* was nothing In sight but a tumble down station, a few stunted trees, a great expanse of red clay and a forlorn native, who stood leaning against the side of the dilapidated building. Mr. livpew walked around a bit and then apoke to the native: "Live here?' he asked. "Yeasuh." "Well, well." commented Depew, "1 should hate to he fixed like that Thia place must be a mile from God's knowledge." ".Stranger.' satd the native, ss he shifts dfrom one foot to the other, "It's a leetle ftinier nor that." GLERK WAS ACCOMMODATING "Speaking of accommodating hotel clerks," remarked a Portland traveller, "tbe best I ever say was In a town near Bangor. I reached the hotel late in tbe evening and was assigned to a pretty tidy-looking room. Just before I retired I heard a scampering under the bed and looked under expecting to see a burglar. Instead I saw a couple of large rats just escaping Int othelr hole. I dressed and went down to the office and put ln a big kick. The clerk was ss serious as a summer's breeze. "TI fix that all right .sir,' he said. 'Front! Take a cat up to 23 at once."��� Minneapolis Times. 11 must be unscrewed and laid in a cool place under a Up. If the baby does not thrive on freah milk, it should be boiled. ���Philadelphia Times. THE PICKET GUARD. "All quiet along the Potomac," they say. Except here and there a stray picket Is shot, as he walks on his beat to and fro, By a rifleman hid In the thicket. Tis nothing���a private or two now and then Will not count in the news of the battle; Not an officer lost���only one of the men- Moaning out, all alone, the death rattle. Far away in the cot on the mouutain. All quiet along the Potomac tonight Where the soldiers lie peacefully dreaming; Their tents, in the rays of the clear autumn moon Or ln the light of their campflres gleaming. A tremulous sigh as a gentle night wind Through the forest leaves softly creeping, While the stars up above with their glittering eyes Keep guard o'er the army while sleeping- There is only tbe sound of the lone sentry's tread, As he tram {is from the rock to the fountain, And thinks of the two on the low trundle bed His musket falls hack, and his face dark and grim. Grows gentle with memories tender, As he mutters a prayer for the children asleep, For th��ir mother���may Heaven defend her! THE WISE WOMAN "If a wife would keep her husband her lover," says the Wise Woman, "let him miss her now and then. Men get tired of their wives fro mseelng them so continually���the same face at breakfast three hundred and sixty-five times a year, the same face at dinner year in and year out Neither realizes what the trouble Is, and the wife as often as not thinks it is her fault, and prods herself into greater conscientiousness, greater fidelity. Stuff and nonsense! Let her pack her grip and go off for a holiday. Let hlm eat his dinner alone once in a while. The attitude toward the wife of taking her for granted���it is this whicb, unguessed, unseen, lies at the bottom of much of the domestic friction of the day. In nine cases out of ten the woman Is its victim, but on the other hand, it generally her fault to begin with." These self-effacing, meek, ultra-conscientious little wives are the ones that spoil the husbands. They become a bore, like the aggressively neat woman from whom the Lord preserve us! SCANDAL. Far blacker than a raven's wings, It croaks and feeds on unclean things, Nor lets the shadows of a doubt Soften the lie it burrows out. With tongue-blades keener than a knife, It probes the bleeding wounds of life��� Lays bare the motive and the deed, And carrion makes from flower-seed. It mangles love, and smears with lust Lilies of purity and trust- Fattens on sins of king or slave, And fouls with slime a new-made grave. ���William Hamilton Hayne, in the Independent A Canadian firm recently placed with the Montreal and Toronto newspapers an advertisement of a new nursing bottle it had patented, and was about to place on ths market After giving directions for use, the ad ended in this manner:��� "When the baby ia done drinking, it The moon seems to shine as brightly as then That night when the love yet unspoken leaped up to his lips and when murmured vows Were pledged to be ever unbroken. Then, drawing roughly bis sleeve o'er his eyes, He dashes off tears that are welling And gathers his gun close up to its place As If to keep down the heart swelling. He passes the fountain, the blasted pine tree, Hia footsteps are lagging and weary; Yet onward he goes through the broad belt of light Toward the shades of the forest so dreary. Hark! Was it the night wind that rustled tho leaves? Was it moonlight so wondrously flashing? It looked like a rifle. "Ha! Mary, good-by!" And the lifehood is ebbing and plashing. . ... _, : i :. i-i'^tll. HIS BEST TIP The following story about Denman Thompson, of "Old Homestead" fame, is absolutely true: It is pretty generally known that Mr. Thompson was, and probably still is, very fond of race horses, and liked to have a bet down. Such a favorite actor was the recipient, of course, of many tips good, bad and indifferent. Some years ago the "Old Homestead" was playing a summer engagement at the Acedemy of Music in New York, and a certain trainer had been sending Mr. Thompson tips on horses, but seldom on a winner, consequently Mr. Thompson had lost quite a lot of money. One Saturday , just before the matinee, the old gentleman, Walter Gale and others, were standing at the stage door when a telegram was handed to Mr. Thompson. He opened it, and after glancing at the contents, chuckled and exclaimed, "Well, b'gosh, this is the best thing that darned trainer ever sent me. Listen, boys: 'Don't know anything good today."���Boston Herald. - THE REASON. "I've Just been reading some statistics of births and deaths. Extraordinary thing! Every time I breathe a man dies!" "Great Scott! Why don't you chew cloves?"���London Judy. % ^ li LOWERY'S CLAIM A COUNTRY WITHOUT OLD MAIDS There are no old maids in Turkey aad no equivalents for the word spinster ln the Turkish language, according to Mrs. L. Parkes-Richard, widow of Samuel Richards, the American artist "Whatever a girl's social position or personal attraction-." says Mra. Richards, who has lived a number of years In Constantinople "she Is considered to have a right to a husband and she gets one. To be unmarried is a shame In Turkey. Even the slave girla after seven years of service get their freedom aad are presented with a husband. In Turkey married men are regarded with special favor. Yet as a fact they nave very little to do with getting married. Neither, for that matter, have the girla they marry. It's the man's mother who does it all. She makes a tour of the harems that seem likely, looking over their eligible girls, and by-snd-bye she picks up one for her son. It is a mother's privilege In Turkey to select her own daughter-in-law. The girls who are not voluntarily chosen are somehow supplied with husbands by the bribes or diplomacy of their fathers. Sometimes this system, which seems to have been devised for the special benefit of plain girts and unattractive women, since the bride is never seen unveiled by the bridegroom until after the marriage ceremony, results in tragedy. ���t A CONUNDRUM In the house of commons sit between a hundred and two hundred men, all apparently honest, straightforward fellows, yet part of them believed every word that Borden, said and thought that Sifton and Oliver were lying, white the other part believed every word that 8lf- ton and Oliver aaid, and set down all of Borden's statements as barefaced lies. At a horserace they would all agree that the grayi horse got in first, but in the house of commons one half would swear that the gray horse was In the lead, while the other halt would swear that the black horse got to the wire first Does polities make men dishonest, or does It spread over them a hallucination, or Is It a disease?���Grimsby Independent II ��� Hill. man who haa learned to live in himself, and not in his property; who does not put hia trust In riches, but principle, does not lose hia greatest possession when he loses his money.���Success for June. THE FINEST TYPE The finest type of manhood is never overwhelmed or entirely dismayed, no matter what comes. A man of thia beat type may see his property swept away from him, hia hopes blasted, hia ambitions thwarted and his plans demolished, but his Spirit remains undaunted; ht? courage, hia trust and hie self-confidence are undiminished. Hie success is beyond the reach of mere accident of fire, of panic, or of temporary disaster; the foundation of hia success is built span the eternal rock of truth, bf Justice, of probity, of high thinking, and of square dealing, and no floods or misfortunes or commercial devastations can reach him. They do net touch tbe real man. for hia investments are* k�� himself. It la only the more shallow minds, men without reserve of character, without other resources than money or property, that go down ln financial failure. The WARM I wish girla wouldn't wear these waists Their shoulders glimmer through. I wish they would not wear the hose Like mose of them do. A dainty, coaxy, teaay, thin, Most tantalizing blue; White shoulders make one long to bite. And blue-clad ankles���whew! White shoulders clad in gauzy stuff The dimples can peep through, And hosiery like summer skies, A dainty Alice-blue, All covered���far as one can see��� With silken blossons, too; Del iritis, tantalizing things! Just twinkling dreams and���whew! I wish they would cut out those waists, These shirt waists peek-a-boo; How can you look in a girl's eyes With dimples peeping through The shoulders of her gown like that Aad making eyes at you? To see if her hat Is on straight When blue-clad ankles���whew! I wish the summer days were gone. For my own peace 1 do; And winter had wiped out these waists We know as "peek-a-boo." And these darned, dainty, teasing, slim, Trim ankles, Alice-blue! Gee! my thermometer's gone up, 'Way up to 92! ���J. M. Lewis, in Houston Post. THE SHIRT MAN. Upon a certain occasion General Sherman waa the guest of honor at a banquet, after which a reception was .held, says the Boston Herald. Among the people who filed ln to shake hands with him, General Sherman noticed a face that was very familiar, but which he could not place. "Who are you?" he asked In apologetic aside, as he welcomed the guest heartily. The man blushed snd murmured behind a deprecatory hand: "Made your shirts sir." . MAh, of course," exclaimed the general loudly, and turnlngf to the receiving committee behind him, he aaid: "Gentleman, allow me to present major Schurta." peal and several other expenses." said Hamlin. Te Englishman looked at tho dollar and then at Hamlin. "What's ths matter with this?" he aaked, "Ia lt bad?" ��� ��� ���- 'e���M���e���WW���Wtelw HAVE YOU, BROTHER? I've something to aak you, brother, When there's none to listen but God: Come, let us reason together, The subject demands that we should; The pulse of the world Is throbbing, The hearts of the por filled with dread 'Whose little hands are you robbing Of the coveted piece of bread In your greed for wealth and power. In your hunger for hoarded gold. Have you robbed the poor of their dower? Have you turned some one Into the cold? Have you barred aome soul from learning A Just God rules above? Have you barred some poor hearts, yearning Invaln for a home and for love? Have you wounded the hearts of mothers? Added more to a father's care? Forced burdens upon your brothers- Ground them down in cruel despair? Have you robbed the weak and dying To add to your hoarded gold? Have you heard little children crylnj With hunger, neglected and cold? I hear how the great world Is sobbing, I hear all the groans of the poor, I see how those white hands are robbing Labor at the very church door. Oh, can It be you, my brother, With your white face turned to heaven, Still holding the hands of another, And taking all labor has glv��nv Brother, these wrongs must ba righted; The groans of the toller must cease; The torch of Justice be lighted To shine upon tollers at peace. Their fries have reached unto heaven, Attracted the ear of their God, And justice at last must be given, Though It comes through rivers of blood. IT WAS GOOD. An Englishman, while passing along the main street In Bangor, Me., stepped in a hole in the sidewalk and, falling. broke his leg. He brought suit against the city for one thousand dollars and .engaged Hannibal Hamlin for counsel. {Hamlin won his case, but the city appealed to the supreme court Here, also, ths ease waa decided for Hamlin's client After settling up the claim* Hamlin sent for hia client, and handed him one dollar. "What's thia?" askfcd the Englishman. "That's your damages, after taking out my fee, the cost of ap- LOVE, THE ILLUSION (By Helen Rowland, ln Life.) Love Is just a cobweb, wet with morning dew; Love la just a fairy spell, Invisible to view; A tread���a touch to heavy, and ths cobweb m% not there! A algh too long, and lo���the spell ass vanished Into the air! Love ia Just a morning- glory, doomed at noon to die; Love la only half a story, told in passing by; Love is gold so delicate, the faintest flame would melt it; Love'a ���NOTHING���; but���God help the man who's never known nor felt it! i . i������������a Baby (in omnibus)��� Dadda! frond Mother���That ain't yer-dadda, dear; that's a gentleman. wm wiw LOWERY'S CLAIM. li WEBSTER DOWN TO DATE Here are aome definitions taken from the "Foolish Dictionary:" Appendicitis���Modern pain, costing about f-300 more than the old fashioned stomach ache. Alderman���A political office known as ���Crook's Road to Wealth. From the English 'all' and Greek 'derma,' meaning akin���'all akin.' Afterthought���A tardy sense of prudence that prompts one to try to shut his mouth bout the time he has put his foot Into It Automobile���From EngUsh 'ought to snd Latin 'movoo' to move, a vehicle which ought to move, but frequently won't Bicycle Skirt���An abbreviated skirt that makes women look shorter and men longer. Chump���Anyone whose opinion differs from yours. Uim|j#nu*nt���From English Comp. hot air, and Latin 'pleo' to fill, In ice. to fill with hot air. Diplomat���An international liar. with an elastic conscience and a rubber ��i��clc ���Enthusiast���Owe who preaches four times as much as a sane man ought to. Epitaph���A statement that usually H'-s above the oae that lies beneath. In all science error precedes the truth, and it la better It should go first than last ���Walpole. Too high an appreciation of our own talents Is the chief cause why experience preaches to ua In vain.���Oolton. No wild enthusiast could ever rest Till half mankind were like himself pos- ���-Cow per. word���Hell. For the nourishment of J this dogma, cruelty waa soil, Ignorance waa fain, and fear was light���Ingersoll. There la no falsity so gross that honest men, and, still more, virtuous women, anxious to promote a god cause, will not lend themselves to It without any clear consciousness of the moral bearings of what they are doing.���Huxley. Not to know at large of things remote For use. obscure, and subtle, but to know That which before us lies In daily Ufe, la the prime wisdom. What ls more. Is fume, Or emptiness, or fond impertinence. ���Milton. thia Journal, aend ua their name we will do the rest and We sail the sea of life; one finds a calm. And one a tempest; anel. the voysge o'er. Death Is the quiet haven of ua all. ���Wonlaworth. Man la the only creature endowed with the power of laughter; la he not the only one that deserves to be laughed at?���Grevllle. A lie should be trampled on anel extinguished wherever found. I am for fumigating the atmosphere when 1 *iw- pect that falsehood, like peatllence. breathes around roe.���Carlyle. With every exertion the best of men can do but a moderate amount of good; but it seems In the power of the m1A "RortlAtt ,s the " best a a day lilt) BaillrJlli hotel in Nelson. Only white help employed. GEO. W. BARTLETT. Tremont House SHii tBh. Ss-S lean and European plan. Nothing yellow about the house except the gold In the safe. MA LONE ft TREOILLUS. ******���-*1*-**" i ������������^�������� H1.1*.���*������������^i������i������ ��� new wsiacjTSMSSSasaMSJMaa��sasJj��tM^ai Newmarket Hotel.'., Ht SE Ists and millionaires visiting New Denver. B. C. HENRY trrUUE. Qf Tlm/% ** tbe leading hotel in OU JtiiulO TRAIL. R. C. JAS. DAWSON. Prop. J. D. ANDERSON Civil Engineer snd Provincial Land Surveyor TRAIL, B.C. F. H. HAWKINS ASSAYER SANDON. B.C. The Strathcona Hotel Is situated on a slight eminence, just a block from one busy scenes on Baker Street, and is w lthin easy touch of everything in the city. From its bale oniea can be seen nearly all the grand scenery that surrounds the beautiful city of Nelson. Few hotels in the great west equal the Strathcona, and tourists from every land will find within its portals all the essentials -that create pleasant memories within the mind of those who travel f B. TOMKINS, Manager, NWLSON. RlTIflH COLUMBIA