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The Ubyssey Mar 8, 2010

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Array 2010.03.08
MARCH OS, 2010
Paul Bucci: coordinating@ubyssey.ca
Samantha Jung: news@ubyssey.ca
Sarah Chung: schung@ubyssey. ca
Kate Barbaria : culture@ubyssey.ca
Jonny Wakejield: jwakejield@ubyssey.ca
Justin McElroy : sports@ubyssey.ca
Trevor Record: ideas@ubyssey.ca
GeraldDeo :photos@ubyssey.ca
Anthony Goertz: graphics@ubyssey.ca
Virginie Menard: production @ubyssey. ca
Katarina Grgic: copy@ubyssey.ca
Tara Martellaro : 7nultimedia@ubyssey.ca
Ashley Whillans : awhillans@ubyssey.ca
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AD TRAFFIC : Sabrina Marchand
AD DESIGN : Chibwe Mweene
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The day began with the blustery wind of Paul Bucci running away through the flying Peter Rizovs. Stephanie So,
an innocent onlooker, exclaimed, "Chibwe Mweene
Look at that man go!" This caused Laura Tuovinen to
dance the Justin McElroy. Kasha Chang didn't see a
thing, because she was busy changing Krittana Khurana
into Austin Holm, and as Kathy Yan Li can contest, that
does take some concentration. Things remained calm for
a time, which annoyed Kai Green. She took one look at
Keegan Bursaw and knew just what to do. With a quick
call to Phillip Storey, she beganthe real ordeal ofthe day
Eliza Christie ran, attempting to punch Annika Westphal
Andrew Bates came to rescue Brendan Albano. Alas, he
was too late and the vultures began to circle. The birds
were lead by Kristen Harris flying on a broom stolen from
Brittany Perna. She grabbed her friend Tara Martellaro
while Jacob Pacey was wandering by. Adeeb Tawseef
was bouncing on trampoline. Paula Zelaya Cervantes fell
onto Sarah Chung. Trevor Record thought about a cheese
sandwich Gerald Deo had served him yesterday. He
suspected him of hiding Samantha Jung in his kitchen
Ashley Whillans and Jonny Wakefield had also partaken
in cheese sandwiches yesterday, made by Katarina Grgic.
Kate Barbaria bought the cheese. Virginie Menard stood
playing chess with Danielle Zandbergen
V      Canada Post Sales
Number 0040878022
Canadian    printed on^100s%
University     'reeycledpaper
Press \!__]Q
Price Reduced. 2005 AcuraTLfully
loaded, 56,000 km. 4 doors, standard, white exterior, leather interior in good condition. $21,000. Contact calvin.magic32@gmail.com
In the March 4 article titled "No
more seat for international students on Council," we said that
"AMS President Bijan Ahmadian also disagreed with Council's decision." In fact, Ahmadian voted in favour of removing
the international student seat.
In the March 4article titled "Rugby team poses in cheeky calendar", credits to the photos used
go to Evan Birch. We regret these
help us create this baby! Learn
about layout and editing. Expect to be fed. • Every Sunday
and Wednesday, 2pm, SUB 24.
Just want to listen? Looking for a
sense of community? This is for all
members of the UBC community who want to have a good meal
and great conversation. All meals
are home-cooked and are vegetarian-friendly. • Every Monday,
6:30pm-8:30pm, Chapel of the
Epiphany (6030 Chancellor Blvd),
for more info e-mail revnathan-
of Applied Science is taking part
in Celebrate Research Week.
Learn from the entertaining and
engaging Mining Engineering
Professor Marcello M. Veiga.
This talk focuses on how engineering can help alleviate global poverty. The findings are a result of a six-year project sponsored by the United Nations. •
6:30pm-8pm, Robson Square.
CLUB EVENT •Come to the first
ever event hosted by the UBC
Libertarian Club. Economist Paul
Geddes will be discussing what
exactly Libertarianism is and
what benefits it offers. Discussion will be followed by a free-
market video by Milton Friedman. Free cookies are provided
and discounted club memberships available. • 6pm-7:30pm,
Henry Angus 308, free.
CHANGE • Presented by Mechanical Engineering Professor Robert
L. Evans, this talk focuses on energy use and its impact on the environment-one ofthe most impor-
tanttechnical, social and public-policy issues facing humanity today
• 6:30pm-8pm, Robson Square.
take paper for granted. Learn from
Chemical and Biological Engineering
Professor Mark Martinez about paper's rich history and its impact on
society, and understand the manufacturing process with an emphasis
on sustainability. • 12pm-1pm, Kaiser 2020/2030
The University of British Columbia
March 11, 2010   11-1:30 PM
SUB South Plaza
vancouveR2010.com/TORCHReLaY * vancouveR2010.com/ReLa1SDeLaFLamme
Vancouver 2010
From the onset of the industrial revolution until a few decades
ago, safety was a topic of great
importance. But in recent years
we have become complacent,
that is, until a tragedy occurs. Explore issues of public safety with
Materials Engineering Professor
Anoush Poursartip. • 6:30pm-
8pm, Robson Square.
NEUTRALITY POSSIBLE? • The presentation will discuss some of
the issues that arise in considering what is meant by "Aboriginal
culture" in the context of mediation, negotiation, litigation or any
other context for the resolution
of differences. Part of the CoRe
Clinic Speaker Series* 4pm-
6pm,Singleton Urquhart LLP,
1200 - 925 West Georgia Street,
$15, free for CoRe members.
WORLD* UBC Faculty of Applied
Science graduate students' leading-edge research is shaping and
improving the fields of health,
search and rescue, mining and
more. Our graduate students
will be discussing their research
and talking about the differences
they are making. • 12pm-6pm,
Kaiser Atrium.
UBC is organizing the second
annual Hungry4Change banquet, an event that aims to
raise awareness of global food
insecurity and fundraise $4000
to contribute to Oxfam Canada's efforts to address this issue. The banquet will include
live music, a silent auction and,
of course, food! • 6:30pm, Heritage Hall, 3102 Main Street,
$20 for students, for more info
go to hungry4change.rezgo.
JEPHTE • UBC Early Music Ensembles present Carissimi's oratorio Jephte featuring Jane Long
as Filii and Blake Abbie as Jephte.
Other works by Monteverdi &
Boismortier TBA • Recital Hall,
Music Building, 12pm-lpm, free.
A CONCERT FOR HAITI • Come enjoy an evening of live music performed by unique local artists.
Proceeds will go towards supporting the ongoing medical relief
efforts in Haiti. • 6pm reception,
7:30pm concert, Graham House,
Green College, $20 tickets.
INKJET PRINTING—FROM DOCUMENT PRINTING TO TISSUE ENGINEERING • Explore the innovative concept of inkjet microfab-
rication and its many applications with Elecritcal and Computer Engineering Porfessor
Konrad Walus. • 12pm-1pm,
Kaiser 2020/2030.
Attend the Imagine Your Arts Major Fair! Join professors, department advisors and student leaders for an amazing opportunity to
have all your academic questions
explored and answered! Workshops by Go Global, Arts Academic Advising, Career Services,
and Arts Co-op will be held from
Mar. 8-12. Learn about potential
careerpaths, gaining work experience before graduation, studying
abroad, and making sure that all
your choices are right for your degree! Registration is now open.
• 11am-2pm, SUB Ballroom,
for more info, go toarts.ubc.ca. 2010.03.08/UBYSSEY.CA/NEWS/3
Miranda Scott, a first-year UBC Okanagan student from           According to Li, when he ran to get help, another stu-
Delta, BC, passed away last Friday, according to the UBC       dent working out was able to perform first aid. Two am-
website.                                                                                       bulances and a fire truck arrived on the scene and she
According to Chun Li, a first-year student, Scott col-       was taken to hospital,
lapsed while working out at the gym. "When 1 went up-           Requests for further details from campus security and
stairs, she was on the blue mat. She looked like she was       police were declined on the basis of a lack of information,
finishing her workout," she said. "She got up, looked per-           On Monday, March 8, the university lowered their flags
fectly fine, and then she took a couple steps and collapsed       to half-mast in memoriam of Scott,
on one of the guys behind me."                                                                                                                   —Andrew Bates
ASSOCIATE SARAH CHUNG »schung@ubyssey.ca
Telescopes, T-shirts and television
Matthews redefines what it means to be a "Science prof"
Astronomy and Astrophysics
professor Jaymie Matthews,
who is nearly as excited about
his T-shirt collection as his research, would like students to
know that he is anything but
An unconventional decorator,
Matthews' office is covered with
space and Star Wars memorabilia and his cabinets are lined
with plastic Spongebob characters. Matthews' coveted space
telescope—the unofficial mascot of MOST (Microvariability
and Oscillations of Stars)—also
resides in his office.
It's great to discover
and learn things,
but if no one else
knows about
them, then it's
not particularly
important or
What explanation did Matthews give for his wacky decor? "It shows my personality," he said. "Part of the message I want students to have is
that scientists are human beings, they are approachable and
they have a sense of humour-
good or bad."
Matthews' office is full of sci-fi memorabilia and Spongebob figurines. ASHLEY WHILLANS PHOTO/THE UBYSSEY
Matthews' personality and
sense of fun, coupled with his
talent for Astronomy, have led
him to much success in his 17
years as a professor at UBC. He
has won numerous awards such
as the CAP Medal for undergraduate teaching in 2002, and in
2006 was inducted into the Order of Canada.
Always a stargazer, Matthews
can't remember a time when he
did not look up at the night sky
with astonishment.
"I've always, since my youngest memories, been fascinated
with the stars in the sky. I wanted to be an astrophysicist before I knew what that meant,"
he said.
Today, as a stellar seismologist, Matthews studies the hidden interiors of stars through
their vibrations or 'music' As
Matthews explained, "We try to
use our satellite [MOST] as an
inter-stellar iPod to tap into the
music of the stars and translate
it into what the stars are like on
the inside."
In addition to being a highly regarded astronomer and
professor, Matthews is also a local celebrity. His acting resume
includes appearances on the
Discovery Channel miniseries
Light: More Than Meets The Eye
and The Imagination Station as
well as guest spots on CBC, CTV,
Global, CNN and a Fountain Tire
He has also done consultant
work on the network television
shows Fringe and Stargate, and
wrote an introduction to time
travel for the special features
of Stargate's feature film Star-
gate Continuum.
Matthews first became involved in film and television
through his love of movies, performing, and a desire to share
information about science
and scientists with the general public.
In addition to being
a highly regarded
and professor,
Matthews is also a
local celebrity.
"The reason I do this is it is a
way to get science out to a broader audience," he said. "It's great
to discover and learn things, but
if no one else knows about them,
then it's not particularly important or interesting. It is also good
to see a scientist and a professor in non-traditional situations
[such as on television]."
While many students appreciate his comedic television appearances and entertaining lectures, which often feature clips
from hit television shows such
as The Big Bang Theory, they also
respect Matthews' dedication to
As one of his ex-students wrote
in the introduction to his PhD
thesis, "Jaymie's belief in me got
me through many hurdles as a
young student and was crucial to
any success I've had as a scientist. I can only hope to have the
impact on people's lives that Jaymie has had on mine and many
others." tl
UBC unhurt by federal budget
Ouillet: allows university to have more "financial flexibility"
UBC faced no surprises from the
provincial and the federal budgets announced last week, according to UBC administration.
"We were pleased to learn
that university operating budgets would be maintained for
2010/2011, despite the difficult fiscal environment faced
by the province," said UBC VP
Finance Pierre Ouillet. UBC
currently has a structural deficit of $32 million for the fiscal
year, up from $2 5 million from
According to UBC Comptroller
Ian Burgess, UBC Vancouver will
receive $521.5 million in operating funds from the province for
the 2010/2011 fiscal year, an increase of 4.3 per cent from last
year's budget. Federal government grants for indirect costs of
research will remain flat at just
under $25 million.
Domestic tuition fees are still
restricted by the two per cent cap.
Interestingly enough, UBC will
receive a Harmonized Sales Tax
rebate that would allow UBC to
dodge the 12 per cent sales tax,
which comes into effect July 1.
Ouillet said the changes allow UBC to have more financial
"Very specifically it would allow us to borrow to build more
student housing and invest in
green infrastructure to make the
Vancouver campus carbon neutral," he said.
However, Ouillet warned that
the university would need to keep
a "close watch" on both student
financial aid and the annual capital allowance (ACA) program—a
fund by the province intended for
building maintenance—both of
which may face cuts next year to
curb the provincial deficit.
In addition to a $6 million
cut last year, ACA was reduced
by another $7 million this
year—putting UBC in a $32 million structural deficit, according to UBC President Stephen
Toope's letter to the UBC community on March 4. Out of the
$32 million, approximately $22
million will come out of the administration through either having new revenues or cuts, while
$ 10 million would come out of
"Lack of funding to maintain
and upgrade our facilities...is
one of my biggest concerns going forward," said Ouillet, who
specifically mentioned the current situation with the Sauder
School of Business as an example. Sauder students will vote
this Thursday and Friday on
whether they want to pay an annual $500 fee for the $20 million upgrade to the Henry Angus Building.
Cindy Oliver, President ofthe
Federation of Post-Secondary Educators of BC, is skeptical about
the provincial government's
treatment of post-secondary education in the new budget.
She wrote in The Georgia
Straight, "The budget numbers for
post-secondary institutions show
virtually no increase in their operating grants. Even more disconcerting is that per student funding is set to decline as the ministry forecasts more students and
less overall funding."
Ouillet warned
that the university
would need to keep
a "close watch" on
student financial
However, the university is not
worried about the lack of major
cuts to post-secondary education
in a time of tightening budgets.
"Any time there is more research money available from
the federal government, that's
usually a good thing for UBC,"
said James Brander, Sauder Professor and an expert on budget
analysis. The federal budget will
add $25 million to UBC's total
external research fund of $475
million. The money will help
various UBC research projects
including Genome Canada, TRIUMF, National Research Council
and the Canadian Space Agency.
"The federal government is
fairly aggressive with funding
research...and UBC will do quite
well from that," said Brander.
Brander is optimistic about
UBC's $32 million structural deficit situation. "Of course
there will be small cuts here
and there, but there are also expansions in other parts of the
university," he said. "Overall, I
think that UBC's financial future
and its academic future really
looks pretty good." tl 4/UBYSSEY.CA/NEWS/2010.03.08
A history of scandals
Looking at 30 years of AMS debacles
The AMS elections are full of
scandals, disqualifications
and penalties. Is thisyear's the
worst? The Ubyssey brings you
a history of past scandals during election time.
1971: Hanson Lau is declared president, but the election is thrown
out and a new one takes place
due to the use of a proxy vote,
polls opening late and people
voting multiple times. Lau loses the second round.
ends in a
tie and is
with a coin
1975:   Someone
writes "University Bursar William
White" (Bursar was
the former tide for
the VP Finance) on
the ballot for ombudsperson. The
comes in second.
Eileen Brown wins
the election after
White's votes are
removed and redistributed according to preferential
votes. A rule is implemented that all
candidates have to
submit their nomination papers
in person as a result. One election ends in a tie and is determined with a coin toss.
1982: In October, Student Court
throws out the Administration
Director by-election because of
campaign irregularities.
1999: Losing presidential candidate Scott Morishita wishes to
challenge the election of Ryan
Marshall, but there is no student
court to which he can voice his
appeal. There is an attempt to revive the court, but it is too late.
2001: The Elections Committee
denies the request for recount
from defeated Students' Voice
presidential candidate Rob Nagai
and VP Academic and University
Affairs Josh Bowman. Nagai lost
by 47 votes, and Bowman by 5 7.
2003: Spencer Keys, Arts representative and VP Administration candidate, petitions to have newly-
elected VP Administration Josh
Bowman disqualified for distributing promotional fliers
at Totem residence during
the campaign.
The Elections
Committee rejects the appeal. Additionally, the slate
Students' Progressive Action
Network (SPAN)
is ordered to remove all campaign posters
in violation of
a rule against
on residences.
The elections administrator resigns the
month before the January elections, causing the Chief Returning Officer to be named as a replacement, but Council refuses
to appoint him. Council tries to
find a new one in the middle of
the meeting, so that there could
be someone to run the election.
2004: Board of Governors (BoG)
candidate Brian Duong is disqualified because information
Spencer Keys is
allowed to run,
although at the time
of his nomination,
he was out ofthe
country and could
not submit his
papers in person.
Keys wins the
presidential race.
is leaked regarding who is winning the BoG race while the elections are still going on. He appeals and wins.
2005: VP External candidate Jessica Klug is listed as "Kulg, Jessica" on the online ballot for
two days and is then listed as
"Jess Klung" on the AMS Elections website after she wins.
Elections Administrator Anthony Waldron is MIA for several
key events during the campaign.
A rumour circulates that Paul
Sutton will be disqualified, and
Waldron is noticeably absent.
Spencer Keys
is allowed to
run, although at
the time of his
nomination, he
was out of the
country and
could not submit his papers
in person. Keys
wins the presidential race.
2006: Lyle Mc-
Mahon runs for
Board of Governors, but his
nomination is
rejected because
students are prohibited from running for BoG. He
launches an appeal against the decision. McMahon never serves on
BoG, but in response to pressure
from BC's Student Societies, the
restriction is removed on March
30 of the same year.
2008: The VP Administration race
is canceled due to campaign irregularities allegedly provoked by
candidate Yian Messoloras. Messoloras had been encouraging
students to use Webvote on his
laptop to vote for him. Elections
Administrator Brendan Piovesan waits beyond 72 hours to correct the "election irregularities"
and stops the elections a day
before the polls close. Tristan
Markle is declared the winner
in mid-February.
Newly elected VP Academic and
University Affairs Alex Lougheed
comes under fire for voting multiple times in an attempt to protest
against the non-anonymity of the
voting system. Student Court rules
that Lougheed should be disqualified, but AMS Council overturns the
decision and allows Lougheed
to stay on in
his position.
The term
gate" is coined
by media.
under fire
for voting
2009: Tensions
run tight to
get the Condorcet system to work
in a hurry, as
begins with
the Elections
still unsure
whether the system will be implemented in time. Presidential
candidate Blake Frederick is disqualified for his apparent engagement in "slate-like behaviour" two
days after being declared victorious. Runner-up Alex Monegro
alleges that Frederick was campaigning and postering with other candidates who had similar
platforms. The Appeals Committee later overturned their original decision and re-named Frederick president, tl  6/UBYSSEY.CA/NEWS/2010.03.08
Elections: what happened?
On February 17, Mark Latham,
coordinator of the continuous
Voter Funded Media (VFM) contest, informed the AMS Elections Committee that he noticed
a few irregularities in the online
votes. The announcement came
five days after the results were
officially certified by the AMS.
Latham reported that he noticed a significant number of
votes cast around the end of the
voting period that were from the
same IP address.
The Elections Committee retained the auditing company Forensic Data Recovery (FDR) to investigate the online votes cast in
this year's elections. FDR is an
industry leader in computer fo-
rensics and data recovery and
No paper ballots were affected.
It was found that 731 votes
were cast from a single IP address from 12:44pm and 4pm
on January 29, the final day of
voting. While FDR noted that this
could have come from a public computer terminal, they also
found that 18 of these ballots,
which have been labeled "suspect voters," contain ineligible
student numbers.
They have concluded that the
731 ballots cast are not legitimate votes.
Chief Returning Officer Ricardo
Bortolon told The Ubyssey that
the infraction was committed
because of the way the online
voting system is set up.
He explained that the security check is at the front end of
the website, as it asks for your
CWL before you can proceed to
the ballot.
"When you fill that out and
submit it, there's no secondary
check," Bortolon explained.
"What can be done is that page
can get cloned and [someone can]
make up student numbers and
submit that."
Editor for UBC Insiders and
2008/2009 AMS VP Academic and University Affairs Alex
Lougheed said that the AMS had
to create an online voting system that used condorcet, which
made its debut in his year.
"The Elections Committee of
my era was tasked with ensuring that was possible," Lougheed
said. "I provided some advisement as to how they could proceed, and ensured they had the
resources to do so, which is the
role of the VP Academic." va
/. Voter Funded Media
$1900 Radical Beer Tribune
$1800 UBC Spectator
$1600 Social Capital
$1200 UBC Insiders
$1000 AMS Confidential
$500 Geoff's Place
2. Senate-at-large
Johannes Rebane - 2343*
Joel Mertens - 2112*
AJ Hajir Hajian-1997*
Spencer Rasmussen -1727*
Nader Beyzaei -1715*
Alyssa Koehn -1340
Ryan Bredin -1275
Gary Tse -1047
Blake Frederick - 963
Blair McRadu-925
Miriam Sabzevari - 873
Aminollah Sabzevari - 760
"Elected as of February 12
An emergency Council meeting is tentatively scheduled for March 15. MICHAELTHIBAULT PH0T0/THE UBYSSEY
Candidates frustrated by scandal
"I find it quite frustrating and
disheartening that a fellow UBC
student would sink to such a level as to try to 'fix' the election,"
said newly elected Student Senator Johannes Rebane.
Rebane's feelings are shared
by some who are worried about
thisyear's AMS elections fraud,
which have possibly put the results of a few races in jeopardy
due to a deliberate interference
with the voting system.
At AMS Council last Wednesday,
the AMS Elections Committee gave
an interim report on the investigation that is currently being conducted on the online voting system.
Elections Administrator Isabel
Ferreras told Council that while
the executive positions and the
international student seat have
not been affected, the results of
the Senate Elections and Voter
Funded Media contest (VFM) are
potentially at risk.
Rebane told The Ubyssey that it
devalues the campaigning done by
himself and his fellow candidates.
"It compromises all the hard
work that we as candidates put
into our campaigns," Rebane continued, "and causes nothing but
headaches for everyone else who
has to deal with the mess."
Matthew Naylor, an Arts councilor, is an editor ofthe VFM blog
Radical Beer Tribune, which took
home the top prize of nearly $2000
in this year's contest. Naylor hopes
that, if indeed the results are affected, the AMS deals with them in an
appropriate manner.
"It would be unfair for the AMS
to hold contestants financially liable for their mistake in using a
system that was not secure," he
said in an e-mail interview.
"The best thing that the AMS
could do would be to pay out the
difference to all those competitors who were underpaid, unless it is discovered that one of
the contestants themselves was
manipulating the system."
Editor of UBC Spectator and
current VP Finance ofthe Science
Undergraduate Society Justin
Yang told The Ubyssey that he
thinks that, if the results of the
VFM contest are altered, the best
thing would be to "adjust those
outlets that have been unfairly
and negatively affected."
AMS President Bijan Ahmadian told students on Wednesday
that the executive has been conducting business as usual in light
of recent events.
"This hanging over our heads
is a bit of an uncomfortable feeling," he said. "We have gone forward running things as usual and
waiting for things to make their
due process."
Neither candidates nor Ferreras are keen on the idea of having a byelection, so what will be
done if the results are changed
remains to be seen.
For now, candidates and students will have to wait another
week for more answers, as a tentative date has been set for March
15 for an emergency AMS Council meeting to discuss the final
report, tl
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Do you:
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If you answered yes, write for news!
samantha jung | news@ubysseyca VlT      EUBYSSEYxa
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Athabasca University i3 2010.03.08/UBYSSEY.CA/CULTURE/7
Discorder's fundraiser last Friday
showed that Vancouver's music scene
isn't easy to pigeonhole.
The bill was certainly diverse, ranging
from the smooth as white wine electro
of Fine Mist, to the grating, iPod backed
Joy Division-esque wailings of Koban,
to Fanshaw's ho-hum guitar pop. Audience reaction was equally varied, from
stand and sip to thrash and kick.
Boogie Monster stole the show.
"It's your fault I'm here, because your generation has
grown up," said Fred Penner,
explaining why he was playing
at The Pit. "So my only alternative is for me to come to you."
Penner, who was the host
of the children's programme
Fred Penner's Place on CBC
for over a decade, played for
a bar packed with enthusiastic students. He played, chatted with the audience, told stories and sang songs new and
old for students who, nursing
beers and sitting cross-legged
on the floor, sang along.
After an appearance by the
word bird (a recurring character from his show) and two encores, Penner set up a booth
on stage where students could
speak with him, get signatures
and have photos taken. The
line-up had around 50 students
and spanned half the length of
the bar.
—Trevor Record
After a slew of bands backed by beat
machines, the duo's drummer was truly a force of nature, launching himself
into thrash beats, solos and the crowd.
But did the fundraiser save Discorder? While they aren't entirely sure of
the numbers, Editor Jordie Yow said
the Discorder staff felt the event was a
success, and are fairly optimistic about
the magazine's future.
—Jonny Wakefield
■*■:•■: It's been a cou
ple of years
since I last
heard someone
try to combine
a modern indie
rock sound with
disco. Sadly despite having an
interesting name and album
cover aesthetic, Fan Death is
not a band that I can recommend to anyone other than the
burnt-out hippies of yesteryear
who still think disco is a worthy genre of music.
I'll keep this short because
the EP is only five songs long-
though they might as well just
have cut out the fade-ins and
fade-outs on each track, because
they all sound exacdy the same.
I suppose their sound would
be interesting if you had never
heard anything like it, but alas,
I have. If that whole indie rock/
disco thing intrigued you then I
suggest you check out controller.controller as they are much
better than Fan Death.
You're only as good as your protest clothes
As the medal count and alcohol consumption compounded
during the Olympic Games, so
did the fervor with which people wanted to visually announce
their national affiliation. Not
only was the difference apparent between what supporters of
different countries wore, but it
also wasn't hard to see how the
city had divided into pro- and
anti-Olympic camps.
A reliable indicator of pro-
Olympic sentiment would be a
volunteer jacket. The army of
blue that brought us the Games
were out in full force, flashing
their volunteer badges and touting clothing of every conceivable
kind emblazoned with the friendly inukshuk logo. Perhaps they
had a secret caste system communicated with scarves and backpacks? Does a lowly curling volunteer with only a pair of Olympic mittens get shunned by their
media compatriots in official
VANOC gloves?
Conformity and competition
was also rife among those infected by nationalism. Only have a
"Canada kicks ass" T-shirt from
1998? You obviously don't support our athletes as much as those
decked out in jerseys, face paint,
Canada flag capes and Lululemon
hockey helmets. And what about
all the people inexplicably running around in reindeer hats? National pride, friends. Right there.
Because we live in Vancouver,   there  was—rather
This protester was suprised to learn thatthe balaclava wasn't a Turkish pastry. MICHAELTHIBAULT PHOTO/THE UBYSSEY
unsurprisingly—a large mob of
those who didn't wear their colours to support our Home and
Native Land. Instead of slick vinyl
and rustic buffalo check, combat
camouflage and hemp weave were
the materials of choice. Some say
they crashed a party, and others
admired their anarchist bent, but
they definitely stood out. Here are
three key ways to know you may
have not been among people trading Quatchi pins:
The balaclava, or, for those who
prefer, the bandana tied around
the face, is primarily to enhance
the protester's air of brash lawlessness and intensity. Maybe
some are intimidated, but we
just wonder what they have to
The extent of an Olympic protestor's dedication to the cause
is directly correlated to the
amount of buckles and laces on
their combat boots. Thick soles
are handy for treading over broken glass freshly smashed from
storefront windows, but don't
expect them to be used for actual combat.
Regularly seen sweeping majestically over disgruntled heads,
the flag looks suspiciously similar to the red and white worn
by our athletes and supporters
alike. However, this flag expresses patriotic devotion to our very
own BC bud. This is an essential
accessory to any dedicated protester; its unmistakable appearance is also accompanied by the
smell of recently lit joints and
glazed over facial expressions.
As much as we scoff about
standing in line for three hours
to buy the same team Canada
shirt that 30 other people in Une
also had their eyes on, or middle-
class students who were only at
protests to score free weed, we
had to admire the fervor that
struck Vancouver and brought
out excitement and free spirits, tl
I'm not sure
who exactly I
should blame
for Bedouin
so popular
amongst our particular generation of pseudo-hipster university students. Is it because they
are Canadian and managed to
exploit our particular anxiety
about the state of our burgeoning music industry? Or is it the
fault ofthe popularization of independent music making every
hack with a guitar and a quirky
oudook on life feel like they have
something life changing to contribute to my ruined and jaded ears?
Anyway, that aside, it's been
three years since last I had to
hear frontman Jay Malinows-
ki's wailing voice but I guess
he has missed being in the
public spodight because lo and
behold, he now has a solo project. How cute. I guess releasing an online-only EP didn't
work out so well.
As it turns out Mr Malinowski has not changed much. He
still sings in cliches like he
is in a sad Hollywood movie
about the world's most utterly generic rock band. He still
insists on holding onto every
second note with his boring-
ly grainy voice. His music is
nothing you haven't heard before and nothing technically
advanced enough to respect.
His metaphors still make little
sense."Life is a gun"? In what
sense? You have to point yourself at stardom and happiness
and pull the trigger? You have
to reload and try again when
your last two albums flop?
Anyway I'm going to hazard
that Jay is past his prime, if ever
he had one. Bright Lights & Bruises is nothing. It is literally dead
sound waves thinly disguised as
a new experience, vl
—Phillip Storey NATE
Film transcends
every single thing
I'm interested in.
BCIT Engineering gives you
to design solutions for a bright
from one of three Bachelor of En8..„
programs-Civil, Electrical and Mee,
Visit bcit.ca/engineering
"S5=-=^®      It's your career.
T- - x     Get it right. THE EGG PALACE
"Well, at least we have options."
24  1  ■
■ il
49  1  ■ SO
■ .'
53  1  HS4
" 2010.03.08/UBYSSEY.CA/SPORTS/ll
WIN,25-17,25-17, 25-13
WIN,25-19. 25-22, 25-17    WIN,25-17,19-25, 25-16, 25-22
Easy as 1-2-3!
T-Birds beat Manitoba for CIS Championship
From left to right: Jen Hinze, Shanice Marcelle, Kyla Richey, Claire Hanna and CIS MVP Liz Cordonier celebrate immedietely
after clinching their victory overthe No. 3 ranked Manitoba Bisons in the gold medal game. GERALD DEO PHOTO/THE UBYSSEY
EDMONTON-A perfect record. A historic season. And now, a third straight
For the third year in a row, the CIS
Championships ended with the UBC
Thunderbirds on top of the podium,
completing a 25-0 perfect season by
defeating the Manitoba Bisons in four
sets in the gold medal game (25-19,
Head coach Doug Reimer credited
the perfect season to the strength and
depth of the team, and in particular
their ability to play as a unit.
"In terms of chemistry, we've built
a strong a group as any in the 20-plus
years that I've [been coaching] and that
helps you ride through some things,"
he said after the game.
After a somewhat offensively shaky
quarterfinal against St Mary's and semifinal against Laval, the Thunderbirds' core
of power hitters were finally able to light
up the scoreboard against the Bisons.
"The play of our power hitters was
outstanding. That was the best one-
two punch we have had all weekend,"
Reimer said.
CIS MVP Liz Cordonier completed
13 kills on 28 attempts, while Shanice Marcelle completed 15 kills on 28
attempts. Marcelle, in her second year
with the T-Birds, also led the team with
11 digs and two service aces, proving a
formidable force no matter where she
was on the court.
Team captain and graduating senior
Katie Tyzuk had 49 assists and one ace,
which happened to end the third set in
favor of the 'Birds.
"I have to learn to live life without
volleyball, which is going to be a litde weird. I'm definitely going to miss
this team incredibly," she said after
the game.
"These guys are going to be really
strong for the next few years; we have
such a deep team with so many great
younger players."
"[Katie] executed our gameplan, and
that's really what you need a setter to
do,"said Reimer.
Jen Hinze, who had 11 kills in the
game, also said what an amazing experience the past five months have been
for the team.
"The girls are just amazing; it's like
playing with the 15 best friends you
could ever imagine," she said.
The victory caps off a remarkable
15 months for UBC, which saw them
win two national championships and
forty consecutive games. Dominant
all season, UBC only lost 13 sets all
year—compared to 75 victories—and
led the league in virtually all statistical categories.
With their seventh tide, UBC ties Alberta and Winnipeg for most CIS tides
in history, putting them them halfway to
the all-time mark of six straight championships, held by both teams.
Jen Hinze, Shanice Marcelle and Liz
Cordonier were named to the seven-person tournament all-star team, getting
the nod for outstanding play throughout, while Cordonier was also named
tournament MVP.
In terms of
chemistry we've
built a strong a
group as any in the
20-plus years that
I've been coaching.
Claire Hanna, team libero, tried to
put it all in perspective at the end of
the game.
"You can't really top this, it's the best
I've ever felt. We've had three national
championships, this is a different feel
but it's an amazing feel.
"This is awesome; you can't beat
this." tl
The UBC Thunderbirds' baseball team continued to defy expectations, sweeping Corban College 7-1 and 4-3 for their twelth and thirteenth
straight victories. UBC is now 14-1 on the season
and 8-0 in conference play.
"It was a grind today but we got two more wins.
Corban is much improved and nothing came easy
today," said coach Terry McKaig after the game.
"We were probably a bit lucky to get both wins today, but this team has a lot of confidence right now
and no matter what the circumstance we are finding ways to get it done."
Freshman Blake Carruthers led UBC with a 4-for-
4 game on Friday, highlighted by a three-run home-
run in the ninth inning. The T-Birds are now 8-0
in conference play for the NAIA season, and have
their home opener against the College of Idaho at
Thunderbird Park this Saturday.
In their home opener in their inaugural season,
the women's Softball team went down to defeat
to the SFU Clan by a score of 8-3.
The T-Birds came out with a strong start, leading 3-1 after two innings on the strength of RBIs
by Chelsey Rodgers and Jessica Barclay, but eventually succumbed to the No. 8 ranked Clan's powerful offense. SFU then defeated UBC 10-0 in the
final game of the two-game series.
UBC is playing its home games this year at London Park in Richmond, due to the lack of a softball
field on campus.
A UBC Okanagan Heat basketball star has been
dropped from the team after he and three
friends stole a Bobcat front-end loader and
drove it around campus.
Dave Mackay, a second-year post player from
Vancouver, was with three other students when
the group stole the tractor while drinking in
a parking lot after the campus pub closed on
Wednesday, February 24. According to RCMP Constable Steve Holmes, it is unclear how they started the tractor, which was owned by a contractor.
"I don't have any evidence..! don't know if it
was jumpstarted or the keys were there somewhere,' he said. "I'm sure just like any other vehicle with an ignition, they could be...hotwired."
Sources confirmed that the tractor drove
through the gate ofthe facilities compound and
up through the university, driving past main
buildings and the Cascade residences.
According to UBC-O Parking and Security Manager Garry Appleton, students and other personnel observed them and pursued them up University Way. They are suspected of breaking a fence
on the way, although that fence may or may not
have already been broken.
At about 2:08am, police were called to a wooded area above campus, according to Holmes.
"When police flashed their emergency lights,
the loader didn't stop," he said. "The police officers had to get out of their vehicles and chase
the loader on foot."
Mackay, who led the team in rebounds this year,
was put on indefinite leave by the team, sources
told The Phoenix. The UBC-O Heat play in the BC
Colleges' Athletic Association and are currendy in
the playoffs.
—Andrew Bates 12/UBYSSEY.CA/SPORTS/2010.03.08
T-Birds dreams are up in the air...
Defeat Simon Fraser in bronze medal game, will find out whether
they advance to nationals next week
A day after a heartbreaking loss
that put their national championship hopes in jeopardy the
men's basketball team rebounded with a 78-68 victory over the
Simon Fraser Clan in the bronze
medal match at the Canada West
Final Four to keep their playoff
hopes alive.
"This team is a special team,
and we didn't want to give up that
chance at the nationals," said Kyle
Watson, who had seven points
and a team high 12 rebounds
in his final home game for the
T-Birds. "We can keep winning,
I think we just need to have fun.
We've been having fun all year."
The "fun" was abruptiy put on
hold Friday night, however, when
the No. 10 ranked Saskatchewan
Huskies shocked UBC 104-87 in
overtime, giving the team its first
loss at home all year, and silencing the 1411 fans in attendance
who had hoped to see the Thunderbirds clinch a spot in the CIS
It was a game full of drama.
Josh Whyte, UBC's star player
and Canada West MVP, had sat
out practice all week with a sore
hamstring, and though he played,
it was clear the T-Birds' offence
was out of sync. Still, with 2 5 seconds left in the fourth quarter
and down by one, Whyte tied the
game on a free throw. The Huskies had a chance to respond, as
Nolan Brudehl was fouled under
the basket with just 0.6 seconds
left. All he needed was just one
free throw to win the game. He
missed both, and UBC was given a second lease on life.
But in overtime, UBC was lethargic and disorganized, and
Saskatchewan dismantied them,
outscoring the 'Birds 19-2 in the
five-minute frame. Itwas an embarrassment that led to a closed-
door, 30-minute meeting immediately afterwards. It seemed to
have worked, as UBC came out
with a 10-0 lead to start Saturday's game against the Clan—
their last in the CIS before heading to the NCAA next season.
"I told the team...even Muhammad Ali got knocked out a couple times and got back up to fight
again," said head coach Kevin
Hanson after the victory, "and
that's something we have to be
ready to do."
Blain LaBranche, who led UBC
with 23 points on 9 of 16 shooting, continued with the boxing
metaphors. "[The Huskies] outplayed us, and sometimes you
take it on your chin, and come
out punching the next day," he
said. "I'm praying we face Saskatchewan in the nationals now."
Whether UBC gets that chance
will have to wait until next week,
when the wild card berth for the
CIS Championships, held in Ottawa March 19-21, will be announced. After being ranked No.
1 in the nation for most of the
season, the T-Birds are expected to claim the spot, and Hanson hopes that the loss against
the Huskies provides motivation.
"If we're fortunate enough
to get that wildcard, as an example we can look at the Olympics (men's hockey tournament)
where Canada lost to the US in the
first round. It would be a great
scenario to for us to have that
same chance in two weeks." va
Bolster your career prospects
UBC Sauder School of Business Boot Camp
Gain fundamental business knowledge by developing a toolkit
for business decision-making in the following areas: leadership,
strategy, marketing, project management, accounting and financial
management, marketing and business ethics.
Business Boot Camp is perfect for 2nd, 3rd, and 4th year non-business
undergrad students and recent non-business university graduates.
For more information and to register
May 9-21,2010
At Quest University
Squamish, BC
School of Business
Opening Worlds
G0TT0D0 '
Dean of
Arts Prize
for the Best
Essay in Visual
for the best essay
is invited to participate in an essay contest considering the
relationship ofthe aesthetic and the political.
The exhibition Backstory poses the question, you provide some answers.
For more information visit http://www.belkin.ubc.ca
The University of British Columbia I 1825 Main Mall I Vancouver I BC V6T 1Z2
Phone: 604 822 2759 I Fax: 604 822 6689 I Web address: www.belkin.ubc.ca
Open Tuesday to FridaylOto 5 Saturday and Sunday 12 to 5   I   Closed holidays
Thursday: A photo essay from this weekends volleyball championship
Monday: Paralympics Coverage
Next Thursday: A preview ofthe mens basketball
CIS Championships.
Justin Mcelroy | sports@ubyssey.ca ^J X UBYSSEYxa 2010.03.08/UBYSSEY.CA/SPORTS/13
After shocking loss to Huskies
Left: Tied at 85 with just 0.6
seconds left in the fourth quarter, Kyle Watson can't look as
the Huskies' Nolan Brudehl had
two chances to end the game
with a free throw.
Left page: Graham Bath soars
to the basket against the SFU
Clan in Saturday's bronze medal
match. Bath finished the game
MARCH 8,2010
Equal rights,
equal opportunities:
Progress for all.
CUPE's 14,000 workers in
B.C.'s public universities
join with those working
around the world for
equality to celebrate
International Women's Day 2010.
Storm the wall.
Cover the Paralympics.
Watch your'Birds from courtside.
Get into sports.
the art of loving
1819 W. 5th & Burrard | 604.742.9988 | www.artofloving.ca
Open 7 Days a Week 110 AM -10 PM on Thursdays and Fridays
Agenda for Tuesdays Staff Meeting:
1. Admittance of new members
2. Coordinating editor update
3. Approval of staff restructuring
4. Hiring committee changes
5. Approval of election dates
6. WRCUP update
7. Old business
8. Adjournment
JUSTIN mcelroy | sports@ubyssey.ca
ca 14/UBYSSEY.CA/IDEAS/2010.03.08 ■
So, in a nutshell, the Dean creates a financial plan that goes against provincial policy,
convinces a bunch of folk that it'll work, builds a building, has his financial plan collapse because it, surprise, goes against provincial policy, then goes to students to
bail him out. There's reasons no one trusts the business community.
—Alex Lougheed [March 5]
Also lulz. "Plan B" is
simply repeating Plan A
after Plan A failed once
—Neal Yonson [March 5]
CO*>_.,   U/k^«      0UpM   Or,»
Know youk
Commerce students will be going to the polls this week to decide
whether or not they will be paying a $500 fee each year for decades
to finance upgrades to the Henry Angus Building. This is the second
time that Sauder and the Commerce Undergraduate Society (CUS)
have tried to hoist this fee on Commerce students—a referendum
passed in 2006 asking students to pay a similar fee.
It was poorly conceived then, and it's poorly conceived now.
The referendum makes it so that funding Phase Two ofthe Sauder
building upgrades, worth $20 million, will be up to students. This fee
is supposed to be in effect for 35 years. Commerce students are being pressured into deciding whether incoming students have to pay
for a new building, bigger classrooms and better technology for the
next 3 5 years, without any support from other donors?
We find it hard to believe that neither UBC, Sauder, alumni nor donors have the money for this. Do you think Commerce students, who
can pay up to $4450 ayear in tuition, can afford $500 extra each year?
The AMS, for all its blunders, has reached an agreement with the
university for the SUB Renew project. They are paying $85 million
and the university $2 5 million. That is for a building that only students will use, and students will operate. Henry Angus is a building
that students, staff and faculty will be using, and students will have
barely any control over. Yet, Commerce students are being asked to
pay for the entirety of Phase Two of the project. In 2006 students
agreed to fund part of Phase One of the upgrades as well, and it was
only after the government refused the fee upgrade that the university stepped in to help.
To make matters worse, the Dean of Sauder, Dan Muzyka, has been
going around to classrooms giving presentations on the subject. At a
town hall meeting last Tuesday, Muzyka highlighted how terrible he
thought Henry Angus was when he first arrived at UBC. He should
find people to pay for upgrades who aren't students—deans should
not be interfering this much in a student society matter.
The CUS and Muzyka have said that the school might lose its accreditation if the building is not brought up to par with the rest of
the business schools worldwide. Does anyone know how true this is,
whether other schools have lost accreditation due to similar circumstances? The CUS doesn't. You would think that as a student society,
they would be doing their due diligence and providing students with
all of the information they can.
If the legitimacy of UBC students' Commerce degrees is on the line,
shouldn't Sauder be trying harder to find private donors? Dean Muzyka said that "this is Plan B." If the referendum doesn't pass, what is
Plan C? He said, "there hasn't been another pot of money to put into
this." We find this argument, again, difficult to stomach.
Even supposing they couldn't find that money from private donors,
this fee increase shouldn't fall on the shoulders of students alone. If
one of the university's flagship faculties truly is in danger of losing
its accreditation, shouldn't that be a concern of utmost importance
to the administration, alumni and the faculty? The dean, faculty and
school lured students into coming here with promises of a world-
class education. Now the dean is terrorizing those same students
into paying for infrastructure upgrades with the threat that their degrees may become nullified? If that happens, he's the one who has
failed, not the students.
The sad thing is, we think that this referendum will pass. University students are already afraid they won't find jobs after graduation—to hear that their degree would be worthless if they don't pony
up money for a new building has many scared enough to vote yes.
So Commerce students, when you go to the polls on March 11
and 12, vote no, and place the onus on the university and the Sauder School of Business to make your school better, tl
I'm a 21-year-old guy dating a
23-year-old girl. We have sex
about seven to ten times a week,
which is about as much as is
comfortable for me. For perspective, when I was not having sex,
I would usually masturbate every other day.
She says this is not enough
for her and that previous boyfriends would be able to have sex
20 or more times a week. I have
no problem getting hard, but if I
try to push myself and have sex
several times a day, it starts to
get slighdy painful for me. First
time, great! Second, still good but
not as great. Third, things start
to ache afterwards.
She says this is not
enough for her
and that previous
boyfriends would be
able to have sex 20 or
more times a week.
I told her that I felt seven to
ten times a week can hardly be
considered low effort on my part,
and that I had no problem using
other methods (fingers, toys, etc.).
Her response was that those are
not the same and not satisfying
enough. She says she is fine with
the amount of sex for now but
that in the future it might bother her more, possibly enough to
threaten the relationship.
I have two questions. My girlfriend said I should see a doctor
because I might have something
wrong with me, because it is a litde painful after multiple orgasms
a day. Could this be correct?
Second, assuming that there is
nothing I can do to increase my
sex drive, what would you recommend for my girlfriend and I?
—Sexual Ability Deficient
Thanks foryour letter. We'll try
to address it succinctly, owing to
the fact that Too Sexy just woke
up from a lovely dream involving silly string and Eskimo kisses and wants to get back to bed.
....if there's a
chance it could
be something
medical, you
should get it looked
at by a trained
(labcoats, not
First off, the doctor issue. Very
few people ever really want to
go to the doctor, Too Sexy writers included. That being said, if
there's a chance something could
be wrong with your junk, for the
love of sex and money, go and
get yourself checked out today.
We're not doctors and it's not
uncommon to get a litde pang if
your prostate's overworked, but
if there's a chance it could be
something medical, you should
get it looked at by a trained professional (labcoats, not fishnets).
If the doctor says you are fine,
your solution may come in the
form of a less strenuous position or a botde of lube.
As for your second question,
you've got a few options. If it is
medical, hopefully you can get
it dealt with and move on. If it's
just a case of too much sex in too
short a time, then your fix could
be as simple as trying to spread
the loving over the course ofthe
day. A litde morning glory, followed by some afternoon delight,
and finally an evening of passionate lovemaking should allowyou
a couple of hours to cool down
in between bouts of coitus. This
could make a huge difference,
and we highly recommend it.
If none of these work and you
still find yourself having less
sex than your girlfriend wants,
we suppose you could try having an open relationship, but
be warned—the transition from
monogamy to polygamy is often
a hard one and we recommend
it only as a last resort.
Now that we've answered your
question, perhaps you could send
us another letter answering ours:
Why are you with this girl? It
seems like she's trying to push
you out of your comfort zone
by threatening to break up with
you down the road. That's class-A
douchebag material, regardless
of the gender of the douchebag
in question. If some nights you
just want to cuddle, dammit, she
has to respect that. If not, moving on might be one of your best
I haven't had sex with a man in
almost three years. These days,
as soon as I go to bed at night, I
start to have those fantasy sex
dreams and ideas about having a fuck buddy. But as soon
as I wake up in the morning,
I don't think I am going to do
any of those crazy sex things. I
don't have any desire to have sex
when I am awake. But at night
when I am asleep, I just want
to have sex so badly. Am I normal? Should I really find a guy
and get lay, or are there other
ways to solve this?
Your answer, in three sections.
ONE: Are you normal?
Yes, it's normal to want to have
sex. But we suspect you might
be repressing this desire.
TWO: Should you find a guy and
get laid?
Why not? Don't jump the bones
but if you want sex, find someone
who treats you nice and makes
you feel a little crazy and then
go for it.
THREE: Are there other ways to
solve this?
You could try to own your own sexuality alitde more. If itwasn't banished to the night, it might not be
as intense. Barring that, take matters into your own hands. There
are plenty of instructional videos
on the internet, so we won't supply technical pointers here, but
you might find it takes the edge
off lonely nights, tl
Letters can be submitted to
toosexy@ubyssey.ca, our anonymous webform ubyssey.ca/ideas,
or either ofthe writers'Facebook
honesty boxes. With so many eager receptacles waiting for your
questions, it'd be cruel of you to
hold out on us.
As a proud naturalized Canadian and fan of all of my students, I knew there was something about Canada (besides prorogation and climate-change
avoidance) and increasingly
about the UBC environment
that bothered me. The women's
hockey team's post-win choices and the death of one of our
UBC students have clarified it.
The attitude goes like this: "Hey,
there's something to celebrate—
we need a drink!" What about,
"Something to celebrate—sweet,
what more do we need?"
It is at the least bemusing to
see the justifiable pride over
medals morphing into pride
that, "See, we are a party town,"
when basically that means, "Hey,
we know how to drink/use/get
messed up!" Yes, we do. Is this
actually an achievement? Really?!
Certainly not if we consider the
ravages of substance abuse and
addiction in Canadian society.
Perhaps in addition to the post-
Olympic resolutions of greater
health and fitness, using transit
and addressing homelessness,
we can add taking a hard look
at the prevailing belief in our
society and on campus that we
don't know how to enjoy ourselves, honour people, delight
in life, have fun and party without substances. Then, perhaps
we can prevent yet another generation stricken with addiction
and its losses.
—Anneliese Schultz,
Continuing Lecturer
French, Hispanic & Italian
Studies 2010.03.08/UBYSSEY.CA/IDEAS/15
The case for massive
online romancing
World of Warcraft offers an easy
alternative to dating in real life
MacMedia Magazine
TORONTO (CUP)-Like any other guy who has gone through a
period in his life when he had
to endure the emotional grind
of a long-distance relationship
only to come out with a broken
heart, sexual frustration and texting abilities that would make
any 13-year-old envious, I have
explored literally every method
imaginable to keep in contact
from a distance—in a creative
Thus, I submit to you in good
authority that there is no better
way than through playing World
of Warcraft (WoW)-the disturbingly popular massive multi-
player online role-playing game
I have developed a highly sophisticated causal-analysis matrix to illustrate my argument.
PLAUSIBLE OCCURRENCE 1: You are on a date and you are getting bored. You let out an audible sigh.
CONSEQUENCE IN REAL LIFE (RL): Your date hears you sigh,
yells at you for 17 minutes, and then sends you a breakup text the next day which says that Chris doesn't think
he or she is boring. You don't know who Chris is.
CONSEQUENCE IN WOW: Multi-task by killing a few ores to reduce your boredom. Problem solved.
PLAUSIBLE OCCURRENCE 2: Lacking foresight, you go out for
Mexican food. As you wait foryour bill, you realize thatyou
are going to fart any second. It is simply a matter of time.
CONSEQUENCE IN RL: Unluckily, your date does not have an
undiscovered fart-fetish, and is disgusted. If you have not
been married for at least five years, you break up.
CONSEQUENCE IN WOW: None. Although your gamer diet consists of corn chips, frozen pizza snacks and energy drinks,
you are able to mute the microphone at your own discretion. If you have a laptop, you can even bring your date
into the bathroom.
WOW: 2
PLAUSIBLE 0CCURRENCE3: You and your significant other have
been dating for so long everything that one of you does
annoys the other, which leads to frequent fights.
CONSEQUENCE IN RL: You yell, make a number of lame ultimatums, and then go for an angry power walk. When you
come back, you discover all of their things are packed.
CONSEQUENCE IN WOW: You cast giant fireballs at one another and hack each other in the face with axes without
worry of jail time or interference from your conscience.
You both find doing this is rather cathartic, and both laugh
about how much mana you both wasted and apologize to
one another.
WOW: 3
PLAUSIBLE OCCURRENCE 4: You feel the physical aspects of
your relationship are dwindling.
CONSEQUENCE IN RL: You try to spice things up using ill-advised tips from your sexually deviant friends, which results
in both of you really creeping each other out. You mutually break up in shame.
CONSEQUENCE IN WOW: You have more cyber sex, and both
yell "LEEEERRROOOOOYYYYYYY" as you climax—which,
as WoW players, is not deviant in the slightest.
WOW: 1,000,003
around campus. If it were up
to me, the buses would be located at
(pm   so that I could
Now that the underground bus loop is no longer an option, it's spiralling time when we come
together as a community and brainstorm alternatives. We want your ideas about where to put
the buses and better ways to get around campus—on foot, by bike or whatever.
Join our month-long public consultation where the right folks are in the room to listen
and learn from you. Here are three ways to get involved:
a place of mind
Find out about events,
workshops, our survey and
more at planning.ubc.ca.
The Ubyssey is looking for volunteers. That's right, we want you to come by and help us
put together this paper.
As such, let us dispel some commonly held myths about our office:
You will not burst into flames the moment you walk through our doors.
You cannot be forced into doing anything you don't want to do while in the office.
Coordinanting editor Paul Bucci does not bite, although he does have rabies.
Trevor record | ideas@ubysseyca
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student society
a weekly look at what's new at your student society
Don't miss this amazing opportunity to get involved with the AMS
and take the lead in managing one of our vital student services
such Tutoring, MiniSchool, Volunteer Connect and more.
Full position and application details at www.ams.ubc.ca
under Campus Involvement.
Organizational Review on Systemic
Discrimination in the AMS
This survey elicits information about:
Member satisfaction with AMS governance pertaining to
diversity and discrimination • Strengths ofthe AMS in addressing
systemic discrimination • Systemic barriers in the AMS faced by
AMS members • Opportunities for the AMS to develop
strategies of inclusion and anti-oppression
A two-day
trade show
the latest in
services and
9:00 a.m.
4:00 p.m.
Different vendors daily.
March 17th-18th
10:00 am-4:00 p.m.
Main Concourse,SUB
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