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The Ubyssey Mar 31, 1978

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 Unemployed hit Socreds
By HEATHER CONN
VICTORIA — Like peasants at
the castle wall, 2,500 angry
demonstrators gathered in a show
of force outside the provincial
legislature to protest unemployment Thursday.
Sporting placards and chanting
loud cries of "We want jobs,"
students and members of 15 labor
unions and organizations marched
through the streets of Victoria to
meet the Socreds face to face on
unemployment.
But "Billy boy" Bennett was
nowhere to be seen.
"The premier is scared to face
the people he's supposed to
represent," said Len Guy,
secretary-treasurer of B.C.
Federation of Labor. Guy said he
was told the premier was "too busy
with legislative matters" to talk to
demonstrators.
Instead, spectators met the rally
crowd with cheers of approval and
applause    while    government
2,500 join in Victoria protest
dignitaries peered out sheepishly
from behind windows.
The demonstration jarred the
opening of the third session of the
31st legislature. Shouts of "Down
with Bennett," "Social Credit
Stinks" and "Solidarity Forever"
opened the speech of George
Johnson, president of B.C.
Federation of Labor.
"We've had enough of their (the
Socreds) hypocritical restraint.
Their government is not on the
basis of human needs, but on
dollars and cents, a profit and loss
basis. They increase hydro rates
and income tax when they should
put money into finding jobs."
Johnson said the Social Credit
government has promised jobs but
every month more people are
unemployed.
"This demonstration will
dramatically bring to the attention
of the B.C. government and the
people of Canada the need and
emergency to make employment
the number one priority," he said.
He said the Victoria demonstration represents a broad cross-
section of the community with the
united concern for the need to
create jobs.
"This won't be the last
demonstration."
Opposition leaders were on hand
to slam the Socred government and
its policies.
NDP leader Dave Barrett said if
the premier cannot give more
leadership, Canadians should
"leave this government behind"
and eagerly await the next
provincial election.
"This government has no
leadership, no new plans, there will
be no increases in jobs."
Barrett said the throne speech
given in legislature Thursday
offered no hope whatsoever for the
unemployed.
"It was a dull, long document
with no announcement on financial
institutions."
Liberal leader Gordon Gibson
told the crowd the Socred government should undertake hearings on
unemployment. He said the
unemployment rate in Canada is
the same today as it was two years
ago when the Socreds came to
power.
But demonstrators showed they
thought the federal Liberal
government was just as ineffective
as the Socreds in dealing with
unemployment. When Gibson
complained of unemployment,
protesters yelled "Go tell Pierre
(Trudeau)" and the Liberal leader
stormed off in mid-speech.
Vancouver   alderman   Harry
Rankin's criticisms of the Socreds
was met with loud bursts of applause from demonstrators.
"The present government will sit
for four of five months and produce
very little. Talking is not going to
produce jobs. Students have paid
for the depression they (the
Socreds) have created."
Rankin said Bennett and the
Socreds were "shovelling shit" in
their government policies.
"This government takes from
the have-nots and gives to the
haves. We must reverse that
trend."
He said the money earned from
mines and forests in Canada should
stay in the country to develop Industry within the nation, providing
resources for Canadians.
"We can't give young people
jobs. The system is bankrupt and
the people running it are bankrupt.
"We need to com& beck (to
parliament) with 40,000 or 50,000
See page 12: UNEMPLOYMENT
THE UBYSSEY
VANCOUVER,
FRIDAY, MARCH
Strikers deny
violent acts
ANGRY DEMONSTRATORS PROTEST unemployment in B.C. at
the opening of the provincial legislature Thursday. The protest,
organized by student leaders and the B.C. Federation of Labor, began
with a march to the parliament buildings from Victoria's Memorial
—geof wheelwright photo
Arena. Protesters listened to speeches from labor leaders, opposition
leaders and MLAs and waited expectantly for an appearance by
premier Bill Bennett that was not to be.
N.S. students protest in angry march
HALIFAX (CUP) — Students at
three Nova Scotia centres
demonstrated in front of provincial
government buildings Thursday to
protest inadequate government
funding for the province's 11 post-
secondary institutions.
More than 400 vocal and angry
students from four Halifax colleges
and universities marched through
the streets here to the legislative
building, Province House, and
listened to representatives of
faculty, support staff, the Atlantic
Federation of Students and Nova
Scotia premier Gerry Ragan.
In Yarmouth, 130 of the 170
students at Universite Ste. Anne in
Church Point bussed 50 miles to
march on the provincial government building and boycotted
classes at the university.
In Cape Breton, about 70
students from the College of Cape
Breton carried placards through
the streets of Sydney and entered
the provincial government
building, where they paraded up
and down the stairs chanting
slogans.
And in New Brunswick, students
from St. Thomas University in
Fredericton supported Nova Scotia
students and held a funeral for
post-secondary education, placing
a coffin containing documents
from the Maritime provinces
Higher Education Commission on
the steps of the legislative building,
Centennial House.
A mock murder inquest into the
death of higher education, with
representatives from the administration, MPHEC, students
and the provincial government was
held at the University of New
Brunswick, also  in Fredericton.
At Mount Allison University in
Sackville, students placed posters
around the campus and set up an
information booth to explain the
effect inadequate government
funding is having on post-
secondary institutions.
AFS secretary-co-ordinator
Tony Kelly called the demonstration excellent, and said
students made a loud statement to
the public and the government.
But, he said, he was disappointed
at the turnout, which was smaller
than at a similar demonstration
last year, when about 1,700
students marched in Halifax to
protest tuition increases of six per
cent.
Gene Long, Atlantic fieldworker
for the National Union of Students,
said that for the second consecutive year, "viable protest
action proves students aren't
willing to give in."
Fee increases are expected for
the coming academic year at some
institutions   in   New   Brunswick,
although they have not yet been
announced. Tuition fee increases
at Nova Scotia institutions are
unlikely next year.
By MARK BUCKSHON
Bill Kadey, operating engineers
union business agent, said Thursday the people working behind the
union's picket line at UBC — and
not the striking workers — are
responsible for recently-reported
incidents of violence.
Kadey spoke shortly before UBC
administration spokesman Al
Hunter announced Gus Leonidas,
chief of the mediation services
branch of the provincial labor
department, has called for a
meeting next Tuesday of both sides
involved in the six-week-old
dispute.
Hunter did not provide details
about the planned meeting, except
to say it will be held with mediator
Clark Gilmour.
In the interview, Kadey did not
refer to the Gilmour meeting —
which could be the first break in
the increasingly tense dispute —
but he denied a report by Hunter
saying supervisor Walter Busch,
51, was attacked by three men
Saturday night in the UBC power
plant.
Union members continue
picketing UBC buildings, varying
their locations from day to day to,
according to Kadey, maximize disruption of the university without
harming students or other union
members.
Contracts for UBC's two largest
unions, the Canadian Union of
Public Employees and the
Association of University and
College Employees, expire today.
Before the report of the plannet
meeting with Gilmour, picket-line
violence has been one of the most
serious issue in the dispute, which
is centred on contract length and a
demand by the operating engineers
for a catch-up with CUPE employees holding similar jobs.
See page 12: UBC
Roll up! Roll up!
This is the last issue of The Ubyssey's 60th year, the last gasp of a year
of high-pressure study of campus politics, cracking the nut on university
governance, and high-stepping coverage of culture (Page Friday,
(natch) and sports.
There's lots of readers' letters inside and on page 9 the adventures of
Onan the Barbarian are concluded.
Highlighting our grand finale issue is an eight page parody of Rolling
Stone magazine starting on page 13. On page 21 the legal aspects of
cocaine are examined and on page 23 there is info for those who might
wish to join the paper next year.
On page 29 is a wrap-up of the year and on page 25 a feature which
explains how big business has tried to make people feel personally
responsible for the so-called energy crisis.
On page 27 we feature the allegorical land of Pango-Pango, where our
objective existance is betrayed by fantasy. Pag* 2
THE       U BYSSEY
Friday, March 31, 1978
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FINEST Friday, March 31, 1978
THE       UBYSSEY
Pag* 3
SRA cutbacks lobby gets the axe
By KATHY FORD
Student representatives were
blasted by an Alma Mater Society
executive member Wednesday for
their failure to take on the
responsibilities of their jobs.
External affairs officer Kate
Andrew told the 1978-89 assembly
representatives a proposed anti-
cutbacks lobby has been cancelled
due to lack of interest.
She said she and board of
governors representative Paul
Sandhu were the only people
working on the campaign to bring
the seriousness of education cutbacks to the attention of MLA's in
Victoria and that they simply could
not handle all the work involved.
At the last student representative assembly meeting,  mem
bers unanimously passed a motion
to allocate $2,000 for the lobby.
"If people are going to support
motions, would you mind following
that up with a bit of action?"
Andrew said.
"It's fine for us to have $2,000 (to
work with) but it's not going to get
us any support (from politicians).
"You have a responsibility as
representatives to get your asses in
gear and do a little bit of work."
Because of this lack of responsibility, UBC students now have no
formal protest of financial cutbacks being made for them by
their elected leaders, she said.
"If more people got involved
there would be less work for
everyone," Andrew said.
"The two people who have done
any work don't have any more
time."
Andrew discounted protests that
exams and term papers make it
difficult for people to get involved
at this time of year.
"We had a cutbacks lobby that
started in September when there
weren't exams and it failed," she
said.
"When you take on the
responsibility of SRA it means
more than coming to meetings
every two weeks."
Continuing on the issue of
leadership, the assembly defeated
a motion that would have given the
Alumni Association a maximum
$1,600 from AMS funds to a
leadership conference that has
been called by many "elitist".
The motion needed a two-thirds
majority to pass because it involves money from next year's
budget but was defeated by a
simple majority, with 15 against
and 14 for allocating the money.
Before the vote was taken,
several people said the leadership
conference, first stated during the
1950s, abandoned in the 1960s and
"revived" last fall, is a waste of
time and money.
The conference is billed as an
opportunity for so-called student
leaders to meet and "communicate" with the administration
and faculty members.
Last September, about 90
students and 15 faculty and administration members converged
on  Camp Elphinstone on Howe
UBYSSEY STAFF LIES peacefully in deserted meadow somewhere
west of Forest Lawn. Tortured by thoughts of summer
unemployment and life without their comrades, staff were mercifully
put to sleep by Jim Banham, of UBC Purports, early Friday morning.
Students are told not to worry, clones were made from each staffer
before their violent massacre for fall revival.
Chilean student faces deportation
By CHRIS BOCKING
Galindo Madrid, former Chilean
student activist, is faced with
imprisonment and probable
execution if immigration
authorities deport him back to
Chile.
Madrid feairs for his life if he is
returned to Chile because of his
past as a public opponent of
general Augusto Pinochet's
military dictatorship, he said at
UBC Wednesday.
Pinochet took over the Chilean
government in 1973 after the
assassination of former president
Salvador Allende. The CIA is said
to have partially financed the
military coup.
Madrid has been declared an
enemy of the present Chilean
government.
Immediately after the successful
coup Madrid was drafted into the
army. Stationed at a concentration
camp called Pisagua, "a lot like
the camps in Nazi Germany", his
duties involved cleaning up torture
rooms, said Madrid.
Speaking through an interpreter,
Madrid said he "observed corpses
dumped into open pits, execution
stands, electrical wires and other
instruments of torture. Most of the
corpses had been mutilated, with
broken jaws and smashed skulls."
Madrid said he escaped from
Chile in February, 1977, after
refusing to re-enlist in the Chilean
army. He arrived in Canada via a
Greek ship in May and immediately applied for political
asylum.
But he said the Immigration
Appeal Board has denied his appeal against a March 6 deportation
order.
Immigration officials refused to
comment on the issue Wednesday.
Madrid said if he is deported, he
will probably be executed. He has
actively criticized the political
situation in Chile during his stay in
B.C.
"And in Chile I am known.
Newspapers supporting the
government have reported me as
an enemy of the junta," he said.
Since Pinochet forcibly took over
the government of Chile, over
30,000 people have been murdered
by the dictatorship, said Madrid,
and many more are in prisons
charged with political crimes.
"There are 2,500 people unaccounted for by the Chilean
government, but Amnesty International has located the camps
where these people are being
held," he said.
Madrid said he and other
students actively resisted the
military takeover of Chile. "We
mostly tried to publicize the
situation with leaflets, painting
slogans on walls and organizing
resistance movements."
After the coup all student
associations were dissolved and
banned, said Madrid,
"All political leaders and student
leaders were persecuted and
imprisoned. Many people were
imprisoned as a mass measure."
Madrid spent four days in jail
after the coup, and was never
given a reason for his imprisonment. "I was burned with
lighted cigarettes all over my
body," he said.
One of Madrid's tasks while in
the army was to demolish bullet-
ridden walls and wash blood off
floors in preparation for a visit
from foreign inspectors.
"When the United Nations officials came we had to move all of
the prisoners with broken arms
and legs to another camp so they
would think all the prisoners were
in good shape," he said.
The student representative
assembly voted Wednesday to
donate $250 to Madrid's defence
fund.
Madrid is currently working as a
dishwasher in Vancouver.
The Vancouver committee for
solidarity with Latin America is
asking Canadians to help Madrid
by writing to immigration minister
Bud Cullen or phone the committee
at 738-9621.
Sound for the weekend retreat
which featured subsidized drinks
and flying in two administration
members.
"I absolutely refuse to believe
that we can't communicate to the
people on this campus," law
senator Eric Warren said.
"If these supposed leaders really
wanted to find out about this
campus there are lots of people to
ask. They just have to get off their
ass," Warren said.
Sandhu also criticized the conference's approach to meeting
faculty and administration.
"Meeting these people is part of
your job," he said. "If you can't .do
your job on campus you're sure as
hell not going to be able to do it
anywhere else."
Graduate studies senator Rob
Marris denounced the conference
as a breeding place for future
elitists.
"Leadership doesn't come from
elitists, it comes from somewhere
else," he said.
Forestry representative Ian
Moss was also negative about the
conference.
"We have other commitments to
consider," he said. "It would be
premature to commit any money.
First of all we have to take care of
our debts."
The decision was also influenced
by a projected $10,000 overrun in
the AMS's 1977-78 budget, announced by SRA president Bruce
Armstrong earlier in the meeting.
Council did show some leadership when it voted to allocate a
maximum $2,000 to send four
assembly members — Andrew,
Sandhu, Armstrong and
engineering undergraduate society
president Brian Short as observers
to a National Union of Students
conference in St. John's,
Newfoundland.
And the assembly voted to
support UBC's French department
in its attempts to hire more
French-Canadian professors for
the department.
IH directors
take protest
to UBC BoG
By TOM HAWTHORN
A planned occupation of International House to protest the actions
of IH executive director Colin
Smith was cancelled Thursday but
disgruntled house directors say
they will take their grievances to
the UBC board of governors.
The move will be taken to ensure
the protestors' case receives
proper administration attention,
house director Saf Bokhari said
Thursday.
The demonstrators had planned
to walk from IH to Kenny's office
and present him with a petition
asking the board to conduct a full
investigation into IH problems.
Instead the petition was submitted to the president's office and
will hopefully be brought up at the
next board meeting, Bokhari said.
"Because it's such a touchy
issue, we did not want to take the
risk that (administration president
Doug) Kenny would think we were
unfairly pressuring him," he said.
"We don't want anybody to think
we're intimidating anyone."
The house directors originally
decided to protest what they have
called house chairman Biren Jha's
dictatorial behavior and Colin
Smith's "arrogance and insensitiv-
ity" following a tumultuous March
22 board of directors' meeting.
Bokhari said it is important that
the intolerable situation at IH be
remedied as soon as possible.
"We are not politicking, we just
want the best interests of International House looked after," he said.
Hans Muller, chairman of the
See page 23: IH Page A
THE       UBYSSEY
Friday, March 31, 1978
Enough complaining
this year — good luck
It could have been worse. Last September
saw a university besieged by the commercial
press, tarnished by a series of scandals
involving faculty members and ruled by a
secretive administration whose fear of the
press verged on paranoia.
Coupled with tuition fee hikes of 25 per
cent, a collection of neophyte student
politicos and a provincial government
hell-bent on a course of fiscal austerity, the
prospects for 1977-78 looked bleak.
One of the more encouraging trends this
year has been the evolution of Doug Kenny's
administration from its tight-lipped ways to
an increasingly vocal explanation of the
university's actions and goals to the
community.
The failure of student politicians this year
to organize students to fight the Socred
government on bread and butter issues such
as unemployment and education cutbacks
was a disappointment after the successes of
the previous year in mobilizing students.
Most disturbing were the actions of some
Alma Mater Society officers who actually
hindered other students who were prepared
to do something.
On     less    parochial    issues    the    AMS'
performance was more encouraging. The
decision of the student representative
assembly to partially remove their funds
from the Bank of Montreal because of its
financial dealings with South Africa was
surprising, in light of its earlier behavior, and
refreshing.
On balance the AMS' performance this
year has been competent but less than
inspired.
Not so the provincial government. Despite a growing unemployment problem in
B.C. and large budget surpluses the Socreds
are continuing their ham-fisted fiscal policies
which are wrecking this province's economy.
And post-secondary education has suffered as a result. The privations suffered by
the university community because of inadequate financial support and poorly organized
programs have become cliches.
But that is enough complaining for one
year. We would also like to thank our legions
of loyal readers and letter writers who have
made publishing this rag all year worthwhile.
Until next September good luck in
finishing your courses and good luck in
finding a summer job. And for those of you
who are leaving UBC for good, good luck.
r\ 111      1
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Ever felt like a million?
Unemployment continues to ravage this
province and as the unemployment rally in
Victoria indicated Thursday it is the biggest
problem facing many citizens and should be
a number one priority with politicians.
Why the Socred government in Victoria
and the feds in Ottawa have failed to act
decisively on this issue can only be due to an
appalling insensitivity or ignorance.
Probably the latter.
Although unemployment hurts those on
the bottom rungs of the work force ladder,
everyone pays for it whether it be in the
form of reduced business, higher taxes to
support the unemployed or in the misery
and humiliation of being unemployed.
The Socred government thinks it is
attacking the problem by creating a healthy
business environment. It is a policy the
government has followed since its election
by lowering taxes on the rich, such as the
succession duties and gift tax, and raising
taxes which affect low-income earners most,
such as the sales tax.
The Socreds argue that the creation of a
healthy business environment will encourage
investment to come to B.C. — which will
mean more jobs.
Well, it hasn't happened.
The government must get more involved
in direct job creation programs in order to
stimulate the economy. And retrogressive
taxes like the sales tax should be reduced to
encourage spending.
But current programs such as the
universities section of the Youth Employment Program are being cut instead of
increased.
Letters to the editor have suggested that
more vigorous job-searching will solve the
problem. Individuals might be able to solve
their particular unemployment program by
an aggressive job search. But they are only
taking a job which might have gone to
someone else and will not increase the total
number of jobs available.
Making concessions to business has not
helped improve the B.C. economy in the
past two years. Private enterprise has not
responded to all the government's entreaties,
so the government must step in and manage
the economy itself to ensure all its resources,
especially human, are utilized.
THE UBYSSEY
MARCH 31, 1978
Published Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays throughout the
university year by the Alma Mater Society of the University of
B.C. Editorial opinions are those of the staff and not of the AMS
or the university administration. Member, Canadian University
Press. The Ubyssey publishes Page Friday, a weekly commentary
and review. The Ubyssey's editorial office is in room 241K of the
Student Union Building. Editorial departments, 228-2301;
Advertising, 228-3977.
Editor: Chris Gainor
The old wise habbit Ralph Baggins was getting old, old even for a habbit.
Soon it would be his eleventy-first pressday and he was planning a big party
for all the habbits in the Pyre. "But you don't look all that old," said his
nephew, Fried-dough Bocking.
"Ah, but I'm not feeling right, feeling sort of thick as it were, as if I were
being squashed, you might say. I had my adventures long ago, and I think
now I'll fade away into obscurity. But before I do, I must tell you about the
thing that I found so many years ago."
"Are you sure that this is the time to tell him?" a quavering voice
enquired from the door. There stood a grey figure wrapped in cloaks,
scarves, and galoshes. The face looked a thousand years old and the hands
trembled, though the firmness of iron was in them when they combined to
tilt a hip flask to the wind-chapped lips.
"Vohanka the wise," cried Ralph. "My partner in adventure these many
years gone by. We haven't seen you in so long."
"Your partner In crime, if you'll remember correctly, short-stuff," said
Vohanka. "And what's this talk about 'so many years'? I'm only 22."
Leaning heavily on her staff, and closing one eye to focus, she made her way
to a chair. "We have much to talk about, Mr. Baggins and Mr. Bocking —
may I call you Frydo? Have you told him about the Thing? I don't have
much time. And as for your question, I've been away to high places and I've
been very busy." She smiled smugly. "Important things are happening," she
said, cleverly hiding the fact that she had nothing to do with the high places
and important things.
There was a noise from outside the window and Vohanka motioned the
other two to remain silent. She crept over and pulled a startled Tom
Hawthorn out from under a strawberry bush. "This little fellow knows too
much," she said. "You'll have to take him with you."
"Where am I going?" said Frydo. "Slightly to the left," said Vohanka.
"Don't worry, Mr. Frydo, I learn very fast," said the diminutive, humble
and even for a habbit, Tom. "Shit, in about a week I'll be twice as good as
you at this business."
"No, on this journey I must go alone," said the steadfast Mr. Bocking.
"On the other hand, we might need some more habbits. But where could we
find some more people shorter than me?" Suddenly the door was flung
open. "You can't go without us, Mr. Bocking," cried two little voices, and
there stood Peeping Nicol and Merriiee Medoc, the older one. "You can't
leave me behind," said Peeping. "And my name fits the part perfectly," said
pert and vivacious Merriiee.
"Vohanka isn't here, as usual," said Frydo, "but she sent a telex. It says
'Meet me at the bar in Spree by next Onan's Day. I'll be behind a White
Russian named Chris Elenlak. Good Bock! P.S. Don the name of Mclntyre,
^ See page 10 ^
Letters
Ubyssey offensive
Re; The Ubyssey's refusal to
print the ad, "Listen to the cry of
the aborted children. Their cry is a
cry of terror. Heed their cry."
You justify the rejection because
"it is an affront to many men aftd
women." How ludicrous and hypocritical that The Ubyssey of all
institutions should voice concern
about offending anyone.
From what I chance to read in
The Ubyssey, little or no care is
exercised on the part of your
writers not to offend persons or
groups that do not conform to your
"standards." The most recent
issue with its Page Friday
blasphemous picture of the Last
Supper was certainly an insult and
affront to Christians.
In the issue prior to the last,
portraits of young but unbeautiful
women and elderly women
"judges" were used to ridicule
women who do not possess the
virtue of good looks or youth. These
examples reflect the absence of
sensitivity to others. They are not
merely irresponsibility tolerated in
the name of freedom of the press
but are examples of immature
journalistic vandalism.
You expect and demand the free-
Thanks and
no thanks
Against my personal wishes but
on the advice of my legal counsel,
the national representative of the
Canadian Union of Public Employees and the executive officer of
CUPE local 116,1 have withdrawn
my arbitration case against UBC.
Where there is fabricated
evidence and persons hearing false
witnesses, one cannot expect a fair
hearing. I would like to thank the
many, many members and their
families of local 116 who stood by
me and supported me, especially
the executive officer, without
whose love and unquestionable
loyalty I could not have borne the
pain of the hearings.
"May the lord rise to meet you,
the wind be always to your back,
the sun shine warm upon your face,
the rain fall soft upon your fields
and may God hold you in the palm
of his hand." Peace be with you.
Brenda Irene Andrews
dom to print whatever you wish,
but you use a double standard of
concern when you exercise censorship which discriminates against
the least defenceless of all, the
unborn children. The decision to
have an abortion is not like a
decision to remove gallstones.
Abortion does involve another
living being. That being must be
recognized as a fact in consideration of whether or not to have an
abortion. There are already many
second and third abortions among
women and by trying to sweep the
unborn child under the rug, you
will contribute to increasing those
numbers.
It is a recognized fact that easy
abortions have led to many women
using abortion rather than care to
avoid pregnancy in the first place
as a means of birth control.
The fact that some men and
women have found the ad an affront does reveal, however, that
despite pro-abortionists' attempts
to justify abort'ons, they do
recognize that it does result in the
taking of a life. Whether by saline
injection or suction, which literally
pulls the foetus apart, abortion is
still the ultimate in child-battering.
Our laws do permit women to
make the choice. That choice
should be made by considering and
recognizing all the facts. If the
consequences of abortion include
the fact of taking a life, that fact
must not be hidden. Therefore I
urge you to respect the lives of
unborn children and reconsider
acceptance of the ad.
Walter Szetela
Asst. prof., education
Heavy fisted
junta purged
I would like to take this opportunity to congratulate our
reporters, photographers, reviewers, editors, typesetters, but
most of all myself for making this
60th year of The Ubyssey the
biggest in its history.
I hope the going hasn't been too
heavy.
Chris Gainor
retired
editor emeritus Friday, March 31, 1978
THE       UBYSSEY
Pag* 5
By TIM HEAD
So who wants to know about
Mozambique? If we know nothing
of the desperateness of Mozambique's present situation, then we
cannot possibly be aware that the
people of that country need our
support. And if we are ignorant of
their past, we will have missed out
on one more valuable historical
lesson, for Mozambique shares
with many other African countries
(not to mention a couple of non-
African superpowers), a historical
progression through a long stage of
oppression to a stage of active
struggle leading; to independence
and the possibility and necessity of
reconstruction.
Four hundred years of Portuguese colonial rule ended on
June 25,1975. For much of the 20th
century, in whole provinces,
chartered private companies had
complete control over the
cultivation of crops for export, the
taxation of the people, and the
forced engaging of all adult males
in "productive labor," often in the
mines of Rhodesia (now Zimbabwe) and South Africa.
After using their land and labor
to produce crops of sugar, tea and
cashew nuts for export by the
Portuguese, there was very limited
opportunity to provide a basic food
for themselves and families.
Colonial education was aimed at
implanting Portuguese cultural,
social and political values, cutting
off the Mozambicans from
awareness of their own history,
culture and social reality.
Medical care was almost totally
absent from the countryside of this
predominantly agrarian country,
and vastly inadequate for all but
Tim Head is a third-year philosophy student and is involved with
the OXFAM organization in
Vancouver.
Mozambique
the white population in the non- colonial movement developed from
rural areas. 1962,      when      three      exile
In spite of the brutal oppression organizations united to form the
of all expressions of African na- Front   for   the   Liberation   of
tionalism,   a   broad-based   anti- Mozambique (FRELIMO).
but.
SOUTH \S i\S, V         %   i
V ° it      '■   *■'
AFRICA   \ ^\.               <*
inhamianc
Johannesburg It     '  '} ms'
ff^sLjjK louren^o Marques
i/%mu\ ft       j
Map of
Mozambique
They treated the customary and
conditioned resignation and submission of the peasants through
organization and political education, and developed overwhelming
peasant support. FRELIMO's aim
was never to "Africanize"
colonialist and capitalist power, as
the regime of Ian Smith is attempting to do with black
"moderates" in Zimbabwe
(Rhodesia).
Says Samora Machel, leader of
FRELIMO, "What would be the
point of our fight if we were to
continue to be subject to forced
labor, the companies and mines,
even if there were African
managers and overseers everywhere?
tion were illiterate; trained personnel in all sectors was vastly
inadequate; floods had destroyed
much of the country's food; the
transportation system was sadly
lacking, the Portuguese having
destroyed thousands of trucks as
they left. The commercial
economy remained linked to
Zimbabwe and South Africa by
port and rail, having for
generations served their mines,
and a war with the Zimbabwean
government lost them millions due
to trade sanctions.
Approximately 100,000 Zimbabwean refugees, sheltered by the
Mozambicans, have attracted
several raids by Rhodesian forces,
who in addition to having taken to
date over 1,500 lives (mostly
women and children), have taken
to destroying villages, railways,
bridges and telecommunication
installations.
perspectives
What would be the purpose of so
much bloodshed if we were still
subject to a State which even
though governed by Mozambicans
served only the rich and powerful?
We do not want the continuation in
a new form of the situation against
which we are now fighting."
Independence at last gave the
Mozambicans a free hand to
provide for their basic needs in
ways unfettered by profit-seeking
colonial administrators. Struggle
and success had renewed their
spirit, and FRELIMO had proved
an able guide.
But the Portuguese had left a
legacy of destruction. Only 3% of
the labor force could be engaged in
manufacturing; 90% of the popula-
To overcome the major obstacles
of dispersion and technological
backwardness, communal villages
were organized. Organizers of
services and members of planning
committees are elected.
FRELIMO priorizes voluntary
short-term intensive training
programs to overcome the
problems of illiteracy and the lack
of trained personnel in general.
OK, so what? You now have
some material with which you can
compare the situation of
Mozambique with, say, Zimbabwe
or South Africa. You might let your
members of parliament know of
your opinions about such issues as
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THE       UBYSSEY
Friday, March 31, 1978
Letters
Chaotic UEL traffic endangers cyclists and children
The residential area, located
west of the university campus and
north of University Blvd. consists
of multiple dwelling units including
a large portion of family housing.
This area, particularly Toronto,
Allison and Dalhousie Roads, is
subjected to a heavy traffic flow to
and from large parking lots (the B
lot in particular), the extended
care unit, the winter sports centre
and University Blvd. (a major
arterial route to the city). Consequently, this high density family
residential area (the Toronto Road
part of it in particular) experiences a daily flow of commuter
traffic using local streets for easy,
quicker access to University Blvd.
Conflicts arise on weekdays in
the morning when Toronto Road
(which also serves as a bicycle
route) is used as the incoming
route for UBC bound traffic
heading for parking lots west of
Wesbrook Blvd. or by other UBC
traffic so as to avoid the traffic
lights on University Blvd. At this
time local residents, including
those from university family
housing, are leaving for work and
children are walking to school.
High school students, add to the
traffic at the intersection of
Toronto and Acadia Roads. In the
afternoon, traffic in a hurry to
leave campus conflicts with
children returning from school and
with children at play. Parking on
local collector streets complicates
this hazard.
Job program helps
shy, quiet types
It's that time of year again, but despite great need
and desire, many students don't know how to look for
a summer job. This is especially true of inexperienced or shy people.
I for one hate knocking on doors and travelling to
strange parts of the city. But fortune has smiled upon
me in the form of the student manpower centre. For
all of my university years, I've got a job through
them. But in order to be successful there, you must
either be present when the job comes in or make a
really positive impression on the counsellors you
speak to.
One idea for people 15 to 21, student or not, is the
provincial Opportunities for Youth program. It's
directed at business, non-profit organizations, farms,
universities, colleges, school boards, and local and
provincial governments. If a job is created, the
employer is eligible for a subsidy to pay part of the
youth's wages.
Although employers create jobs spontaneously, the
program gives the student something to go job-
hunting with. The only catch is that the job must
provide on-the-job training or work experience
beneficial to one's studies.
Provincial positions must be applied for at the
Youth Employment Office in Burnaby. It may not be
much, but a summer job is a summer job. I hope this
helps somebody.
Janet Hicks
University answers union allegations
As the person responsible for
labor negotiations at the university, I feel I should respond to
various allegations carried by The
Ubyssey on Thursday, March 23 —
in a news story, in your editorial
and in the union members' letter to
the editor.
The university is not using
cameras to spy on pickets and
never has. There are TV monitors
inside the power plant, but they are
used to scan dials and gauges.
They are necessary because of the
reduced work force in the power
plant.
The chief engineer and the
assistant chief engineer, who
rotate as supervisors of the
management people who have
been working in the power plant,
are not breaking any laws by
working longer hours than usual.
To suggest, as Does the letter from
the members of local 882, IUOE,
that the two men are "working
around the clock seven days per
week, without any regard to their
health and welfare, a situation
which is against the law," is
simply not true.
The university does not employ
strikebreakers. Supervisory and
management personnel, none of
them members of any union, have
been working in the power plant —
keeping heat flowing to classrooms, laboratories and hospitals.
They have not been hired from off-
campus to perform these tasks as
the label 'strikebreakers' would
imply.
Yes, the RCMP have been on
duty at the power plant, especially
at shift changeover time. The
escalating harassment and
physical abuse of supervisors
made this necessary. My only
regret in this regard is that there
were no police on duty Saturday
night, March 25 when a 51-year-old
supervisor was assaulted and had
his glasses broken by three men
who entered the power plant uninvited.
It is all too easy to engage in
personalities and name-calling but
this does not help find a solution.
We should address the issues. That
this strike is unfortunate can not be
questioned, but this strike was not
precipitated by the university. The
root cause is the unwillingness of
the union to negotiate within the
constraints of the Anti-Inflation
Board guidelines.
The contract between the
university and the operating
engineers expired on Dec. 31.
Initially, the university proposed a
12-month contract with a wage
increase of four per cent. This is in
accordance with AIB guidelines for
the third year of controls. The
union rejected this offer and asked
that the engineers be given
monthly wage parity with UBC
tradesmen who are members of
the Canadian Union of Public Employees. Specifically, the operating
engineers asked that a maintenance engineer I receive the same
monthly pay as a CUPE plumber.
On Jan. 10, the university responded to the union's claim for a
relationship with CUPE plumbers
by offering immediate parity on an
hourly-rate basis through a 3.48 per
cent increase retroactive to Jan. 1,
1978. This would place both the
maintenance engineer I and the
plumber on an hourly rate of
$10.53.
In return for a 15-month agreement expiring March 31,1979 — the
CUPE expiry date — the university
offered a further increase on April
1,1978 equal to the CUPE increase
or at least four per cent.
This extension would help spread
the increase of 3.48 per cent plus
four per cent over a longer time
period and would perhaps make
the settlement more acceptable to
the Anti-Inflation Board since any
settlement reached must be approved by it.
R. A. Grant, director
UBC employee relations
Cartoonist hits home ec
This letter concerns Dave Hancock's cartoon entitled, "Miss UBC
Queen-1978," published in the Tuesday, March 21 issue of The Ubyssey.
We wonder why Hancock chose to use only home economics students as
the contestants when there are many other faculties on campus he could
choose from.
We find this stereotypes home economics unjustly. Home economics is
a multi-faceted helping profession. Some courses we take include family
resource management, consumerism, nutrition and human development.
The image Hancock conveys in his cartoon is exactly the image we are
trying to shed. We doubt that the sororities are enjoying their "new"
image either.
Our purpose in writing this letter is in making people aware that we are
professionals, not boy-crazy cooks and seamstresses.
Judy Krug Hapa Popof f
June Oye     all home economics 4
At present, Toronto Rd. has two-
way traffic. The cycle path merges
into Toronto Rd. at the Acadia Rd.
intersection. Two-way cycle traffic
should be encouraged. One row of
residential parking across the
street from dwelling entrances, a
two-way cycle route, two-way
traffic on a street bordered on both
sides by open play space overloads
pose a definite hazard to cyclists
and children.
We feel strongly that heavy
traffic should not take place
through areas with high densities
of human dwellings. In our case,
the social and environmental costs
are borne directly by us, those who
live in the community. Quite apart
from the high probability of increased lead levels (from automobile exhausts) occurring within
at least 40 metres of roadways with
heavy automobile traffic, a more
direct hazard is posed to children
at play and as they go to and from
school.
In the past years, three children
have been knocked down. Other
costs to our community include
high noise levels at certain times of
the day and night.
Unfortunately, traffic to and
from the UBC campus is likely to
increase in the future because of
the present and planned developments: for example, the extended
and acute care medical units, the
Woodward Extension and
fraternity houses. Thus, we urge
action now. In particular, the
vehicular commuter traffic must
be directed back to the main
thoroughfares with a minimum of
disruption to local traffic patterns.
Alan Carter
Jacqueline Murfitt
UEL residents
Rubbers vital service
Re; The anonymous letter of an
arts 4 student (March 14) on the
full-page prophylactic ad.
Dear Anonymous, please excuse
the non-anonymity of this letter but
I am not afraid to state my opinion
and stamp my name on it! I am
greatly concerned by your letter
against the full-page prophylactic
ad.
First, if you don't already know,
a prophylactic is a "preventive
treatment of disease," according
to the Reader's Digest Great
Encyclopedia Dictionary. As I'm
sure you do know, diseases are
wanted by no one. Therefore any
advice on how to prevent them
would be (in most cases) greatly
appreciated by the public.
It is a well-known fact that too
few parents tell their children
about anything to do with the very
broad topic sex — including birth
control methods. Schools have only
just recently begun to deal with the
subject. You may argue that while
it is essential that the information
on birth control methods be somehow communicated to the public,
The Ubyssey is not the place for
such an ad. I believe you called it
"a matter of taste." But what
better place could there be?
The Ubyssey is easily accessible
to any student. Therefore, so is
vital information on birth control
methods. It is just the place where
such ads should-be put. Certainly
you do not think that placing such
information where the majority of
people would never find and read it
is the right thing?
You realize, of course, that many
people — even the intellectuals of
UBC — are often too embarrassed
to go to their doctors to ask about
such information. What a relief it
would be for them to find it in their
local newspaper.
Your comment that "this type of
thing can only serve to make
casual promiscuity seem natural
and commonplace" made me
wonder if you weren't wrong in
stating that your letter "is not born
of any prudish abhorrence of pre-
or non-marital sex." Do you actually believe that an ad in a
newspaper can make casual
promiscuity seem natural and
commonplace? I resent your insinuations.
Surely you realize that if an
individual is brought up to be a
decent being, an ad is not going to
change his normal outlook. He or
she will not suddenly believe that
it's all right to go to bed with every
woman or man.
You also said you wonder "if
comparable future pages will
carry specifics about insertions of
tampons or douching." I say, why
not? I personally know a girl that
had a great deal of problems trying
to figure out how to insert a tampon. Do you know it is very possible
that   she   could   have   seriously
damaged her vagina had she
improperly inserted the tampon?
And all because she was not
familiar with such a practice.
Perhaps you were shocked when
you first saw the ad for birth
control methods. This type of ad is
definitely not commonplace — only
because there are so many people,
most of them older, though, with
your point of view. But you
managed to bring up the subject of
tampons and douching in your
letter. I don't think it hurt, did it?
It is very obvious what happens
when some things, considered to be
too personal to be discussed in
public, are kept hidden in the
closet. They become an enigma.
Eventually, embarrassed people
make jokes about these things, and
even give them slang names.
For example, your mention of
the word "storkstopper." Soon,
everybody has misconceptions
about them. The fact that some of
us are embarrassed to go to our
doctors for this information proves
what an enigma this 'closed door'
topic is.
I'm sorry, anonymous, but I
can't say I agree with anything you
wrote in your letter. Was the
prophylactic ad really "just
another example of what some
people will do for a buck?"
Maureen Funk
artsl
Concerned
It has come to my attention that
a visiting member of the political
science department has invited a
member of the racist minority
regime in Zimbabwe (Rhodesia) to
speak and show films here at UBC.
I am sure I speak for many of the
international students at UBC
when I say that I hope this individual is stopped from speaking
and promoting prime minister Ian
Smith's white supremists in
Salisbury.
There can be nothing of real
interest in whatever he is saying to
support the regime. The people of
Zimbabwe are silenced in their
attempts to speak out, but this
racist is given the approval of the
political science department.
It is a sad day when such a
speaker is given such approval and
an even sadder day if he is finally
allowed to speak on behalf of the
people's oppressors in Zimbabwe.
The people of Zimbabwe are not
represented by this man. He is a
racist and a supporter of the
minority regime now being purged
from power by the Zimbabwe
freedom fighters. To allow his kind
any form of free speech is equal to
support for the minority regime.
Canadians must not turn their
backs on the people of Zimbabwe
by allowing this event to take
place.
Edward Chiridewe Friday, March 31, 1978
THE       UBYSSEY
Pag* 7
Letters
Stop job creation programs, cut Gov't spending
Chris Niwinski's response to the
unemployment situation is the
most rational one I've seen so far.
He suggested that if a student
wants a job he should take great
pains to find one or create one of
his own. He should not sit around
waiting for a government handout. The solution is not government
job creation as Rob Marris
'logically' suggested.
Tell me Rob Marris, who's going
to pay for these created jobs? You
say through higher taxation of
companies. Well the only thing
increased taxation will accomplish
is more unemployment. Coercive
taxation cuts into company profits,
loss of profits mean a loss of new
investment which in turn means a
loss of jobs.
So if coersive taxation only fuels
more unemployment how will the
government finance the new jobs?
By printing more paper money?
What can you buy with worthless
paper money? So you see,
government job creation is not only
illogical but also impractical.
Although Chris Niwinski has a
rational short term solution we still
need a long term solution. That
long term solution is limited
government spending.
In 'Unemployment shores up
profits' someone suggested that
this solution has been tried many
times and failed. Bullshit. It has
never been effectively tried. Every
year the size of government has
increased. This year alone
government deficit spending
amounts to over $8 billion, next
year it will be over $11 billion. To
further illustrate the increasing
government spending I will quote
Robert Wyman of Pemberton
Securities Ltd.
"Let me illustrate: of (the) $26.3
billion in new financing we raised
last year, 68 per cent was use by
government, 30 per cent went to
debt and preferred shares and only
two per cent to new equity —
permanent risk capital.
"Ten years ago the comparable
percentages were 58 per cent to
government 31 per cent to debt and
preferreds and 11 per cent to new
equity."
So how can he say that limited
government spending was tried
and failed? He also mentions that
because of rising oil costs the
government was prevented from
trying Keynesian policies to keep
people on the job. What he had
failed to mention is that the
Canadian government is the one
who is raising the oil prices.
When more and more money
goes to the unproductive public
sector (the multi-billion dollar
deficits are proof of this) the more
new investment is curtailed and
thus the loss of jobs. So the best
solution to the unemployment
situation is limited government
spending, not government job
creation.
David MacKenzie
Science 1
Fetuses are human
I am writing with reference to a
letter which appeared recently
regarding an ad which appeared in
the classifieds.
Murray Reinhart states that
"the medical, scientific question of
whether a fetus is human or not
will probably never be resolved!" I
disagrees. Look at it this way:
Certainly an infant just a few
minutes old is human. He is no less
human a few minutes before birth,
or one, or two days before.
Now keep stepping back a day at
a time and tell me when that fetus
becomes non-human. Obviously
you can't draw a line; if you do it's
just arbitrary and hence
meaningless.
The fetus is human from the
moment of conception when, as a
single organism, it has all the
genetic information that you or I
have and all trie potential it needs.
This is unemotional, scientific fact.
Which brings me to my next
point. Reinhart further states that
"the question has to be answered
on an emotional level." Again, I
disagree. Decisions such as this
are much too important and their
consequences too far-reaching to
be clouded with emotion. They
should be as devoid of emotion as
possible.
Once you start letting emotion
affect decisions regarding who
should live and who should die you
have opened fee way for a chaotic
situation where certain people are
allowed to determine the life or
death of another.
Regardless of my views concerning abortion (and even though
I disliked the ad and feel that any
decision regarding abortion is
intensely personal) I disagree with
the removal of the ad. I realize it
would be very upsetting to a
woman having found herself
pregnant as a result of rape. Does
The Ubyssey think that this is the
first time it ever offended or upset
anyone?
Impossible, yet they decided that
they should step in here and censor
this particular ad. What business
has The Ubyssey to decide which
part of the offended public it should
shield?
Richard Bedell
Science 4
Help me
I am incarcerated in the
Washington State Penitentiary at
Walla Walla, Washington, U.S.A.
One of our main goals here is to
have correspondence with the
outside world. At the present time I
have no correspondence, and I
would like you to put this advertisement in your newspaper.
I am a black man. I have an afro
hairstyle and dark brown eyes. My
height is 5'9" and I weigh 156
pounds. I enjoy scholastics. I like
dancing and all types of music. I
also enjoy swimming, bicycling,
racquetball, and most other sports.
This is very important to me
because it is a rehabilitation step
toward getting out. I will answer
all letters. Thank you.
Robert Coleman #127098
P.O. Box 520,
Walla Walla, Wash., U.S.A. 99362
-'/ tt/tf-J
Radical action needed on campus
There has been a demand lately
for government creation of jobs —
even the Communist party has a
poster up requesting prime
minister Pierre Trudeau to provide
one million new jobs. As an answer
to the unemployment problem the
government recently announced a
program whereby a firm is subsidized for employing superfluous
persons.
Wheelwright's Burton review unfair
^
I feel that Geoff Wheelwright's review (March 10)
of the Dennis Burton retrospective was unfair to the
artist, mainly because the bulk of the observations
were out of context. For example, take the strident
headline, Sexist artist fails to justify work.
The fact that "female lingerie imagery was on
Burton's back for about five years and in
(Wheelwright's) opinion hindered him from
developing his aptitude for abstraction", and that
"Burton says that when he wants to get something
off his back he paints a picture about it" justify
these erotic paintings mentioned in the article; they
dealt with a problem that was in the line of his artistic growth.
In this context, these paintings are both successful and sensible, for Burton's skill in rendering
these subjects is in accordance with his
acknowledged talent.
Many of Wheelwright's statements are
misleading and of questionable value; for example,
"Burton . . . may have had the same interests at
heart as fee artistic masters, but the artistic
masters were mostly sexists." Does this mean that
Wheelwright would dismiss Rubens, Ingres,
Delacroix, etc on the same grounds as he would
Burton; that is, feat their paintings are sexist and
therefore show no artistic merit?
In response to this, I would like to inform
Wheelwright that although "mind and fullness as a
person" are important aspects of sexuality, they
are not fee only ones that deserve to be treated by
an artist.
Our popular culture has an amplitude of both fee
mental and sensual sides of sexuality, namely
Cosmopolitan, Playgirl, Harlequin Romances and
Penthouse, etc.
Our artistic culture, too, has many facets of
sexuality that have been explored, and in recent
years this work has been primarily by feminist
artists and writers. I found this Burton exhibition a
refreshing change from the predominantly feminist
viewpoint expressed by artists in recent years.
Another absurd statement by Wheelwright is feat
Burton cannot defend his sexist paintings by
arguing feat sexism was not an issue when they
were painted, because "slavery may not have an
issue when it first began but it was still slavery".
First, fee personality of fee Marquis de Sade does
not diminish his stature as an artist.
What I mean here is- that artistic achievement
cannot be judged by the supposed degree of
morality of fee subject matter, because such things
change. Progressive thinking people everywhere
applauded the awarding of the Bolingen award for
poetry to Ezra Pound for his Pisan Cantos even
though they were in places anti-semitic, simply
because it was the best poetry written at that time.
Wheelwright's article reeks of sexual et-
nocentrism. His anti-sexist obsession blinds him to
appreciation of some of the other aspects of Burton's work, namely his sense of humour and his
honesty. I personally find it funny feat Niagara
Falls has "more people screwing in it than
anywhere else," and find his conjecture that fee
"sound of fee falls has anything to do with getting
people horny" as valid as any.
I would like to say that by the careful rendering of
his subjects, Burton justifies his work, and by his
wit, Wheelwright, unfortunately, cannot do the
same.
Bruce Wozny
Science 4
These programs and demands
must be denounced as reactionary,
in feat they not only continue the
trend of increasing government
intervention but they also favor
fee creation of meaningless jobs of
which we already have enough.
Rather than having fee insecurity of fee student population
directed toward the continuation of
fee status quo, what is needed is
the development of a student
consciousness dedicated towards a
radical transformation of society.
In fact it will be only through the
universities feat any sort of radical
change will come about: the unions
have been absorbed into the
framework of technological society
itself as can be seen by their
demands for higher wages and
security rather than revolutionary
demands for worker control and
greater leisure time.
The workers are essentially
complacent with their colour TV's,
cars and other goodies of the
consumer society. The students, on
fee other hand, are in a position to
promote change in society.
Besides occupying a crucial
position in fee system — with
business and government needing
the brainpower of university
graduates (education minister Pat
McGeer is trying to further direct
the B.C. universities towards
supplying this need as well as the
technical information provided by
the science faculties and the
methods of social control which are
developed from psychological and
sociological theory) fee students
themselves, for the great part, are
manipulated, in debt and without a
great expectation of a job at all, let
alone one that is personally
fulfilling and self-directed.
The students have further gripes
in that they are treated as children,
having no control over what is
being taught or fee manner of its
being taught, and though they are
adults, they have essentially no
functions or power in affairs
outside the university. In other
words, they have the capability of
seeing themselves as a group
separate and in opposition to the
rest of society.
The advantages of fee universities are that ideas are readily
communicable there and that the
institutions are composed of a
great number of individuals who,
when united, can be a very
powerful force. Though students
themselves will never be enough to
cause a drastic change in society,
it is through them that other
segments of society can be
galvanized into action. The
university can be seen as a nucleus
of unrest.
It is hard to reconcile these ideas
wife fee fact that UBC is about as
dead as a doornail. The problem is
how to radicalize the students so
that they will use their power; the
answer is in direct action followed
by energetic support in the press.
While there are a good deal 6i
socialist ideas to be found in both
The Ubyssey and the activities of
the left-wing groups on campus,
these ideas are not brought to life;
they are treated as mere words.
Action, be it subversive or just
plain fun, like pieing a professor
who speaks in rather elitist terms
about students, would show the
students that there is more to
radical ideas than just words, and
if the action resulted in some administrative, political or police
action, that would only reveal the
repressive nature of the system.
The basic idea then is not action for
itself, but action by small groups
with the intention of radicalizing
students into a large and powerful
force.
Name withheld by request Page 8
THE       UBYSSEY
Friday, March 31, 1978
wefre hatched
a better idea*
A better idea that you can be part of!
The B.C. Teachers Credit Union is now
conveniently located on the U.B.C. campus
offering complete banking facilities
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In addition to the usual chequing
services, there are personal loans and
mortgages with no prepayment penalties,
and our "Plan 24" savings account where
interest is paid on the minimum daily balance.
Hours will fit just about everybody's schedule as
the University Branch is open Tuesdays,
Wednesdays and Thursdays 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.,
Fridays from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. and on
Saturdays from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m.
Of course anyone can be a member whether
they're a student, a campus employee or a
member of the faculty.
For more information, drop into the
University Branch at 2150 Western Parkway in the
University Village — Where they're making a
good idea even better!
UNIVERSITY BRANCH Friday, March 31, 1978
THE       U BYSSEY
Pag* 9
fH£ Mcrm^TS ARE BAut>tnG
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cjttU THoSE &JHO HAUt MQSSACZQ.
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while the -rren-RATS of
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w£*Pt»i% TO
MEHQE   a
3
TtlJ
THE e.go£Lt Htrrm> Km^ oF
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A*P TUJlCe-TZA/WR   FRHEToRiC
IS N6UJA  BANOtT Ctfl£FTAl*J,
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OWN IS ckteHT lHTH£ -75uiee'S
/S t\N»Al FINALLY
FINISHED? COiLLHe
SH4K* OFF KG FVIL
SORCCIZY A HP TV*a/
HiS S&oflP AMb
STtfortS Right a«m
A5AIA/ST HIS MMIFS?
CJtLC   Off At*
Rise A9MNJI
EMfc Page 10
THE       UBYSSEY
Friday, March 31, 1978
From page 4
for there are black riders
everywhere. P.P.S. Black spiders,
too, they're on my arms and back
and everywhere.' "
As they set off, young Tom got
his last advice from the old Gaffer,
Marcus Gee. "You pay attention to
Mr. Bocking sharp, now, you hear?
And don't drink the strong gregs
from the bottom of the barrel at
Spree. And take a little Botteselle
of Gabriella with you. You never
know when you might need some."
*****
At last they were through the
Pyre forest and back into
comfortable habbit-farms. Frydo
sniffed the air and smiled. "Why,
that's sunflower seeds," he said.
"We must be near Farmer Morton's.
I've dug his field many times for
succulent seeds when I was a lad,
and he used to sic Craig Heale on
me. Perhaps we'd better go around
to the ferry."
Merriiee chuckled merrily. "Oh,
Les Wiseman won't be up at this
time of morning. I'm sure that
Farmer Morton won't mind us
passing through. Just smell those
sunflower seeds!"
Just then a black shape rose out
of the woods and began sniffing at
the trail of the habbits. "Blood, ah,
blood, it's been here, I can tell,'1
said the Lloyanne Hurd as Frydo
and ■ his companions ran down
towards the farm.
*   *   *   *
"We'll never find our way out of
this forest," Frydo complained.
"And I'm tired. But we still have to
keep on going." But the others,
being even shorter, were more tired
and went to sleep under a
paisleywood tree while Frydo
picked nervously at a sprucebough
he found lying on the ground
nearby. He dozed for a minute,
dreaming of the hilary roses that
the Geefer grew around the hole at
Bog-end. Then he heard the voice
of Peeping Nicol calling to him as if
from far away. He awoke and saw
the evil paisleywood tree was trying
to swallow  up  his  friends. "Help!
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Help!" he shouted. "Whatever will I
do?"
Suddenly he heard a voice
answer him, singing:
"Carol Read, Nick Read, Eric
Promislow,
Doug Rimmer, Steve Simkin, Hi
Hidy How
Bill Bummerdul!        comes
bounding over Hill, Glen, and
Green
Larry, Schaefer, and Larry are
the ones that I mean."
And bound he did, in a bony
way, right up to the evil tree, which
he whispered a secret incantation
that made it spit out the habbits in
disgust. "There you go, little
friends, all none the worse for wear.
None of you can write, but what do
I care?" Frydo was almost
speechless. "What did you say to
the tree?" he asked. "I just sang
some disco, my cute little mankin,
it turns her off more than even Jeff
Rankin."
For a moment it seemed to
Frydo Bocking that Bill
Bummerdull was the most powerful
being in Middle-of-the-road Earth
and he said, "Will you take the
thing?" But then the light fell more
properly on lanky man and he was
just Bill Bummerdull again. "You
habbits are a way off the road," he
said in his cheery voice. "I'll guide
you to the Wheeler grounds, where
the matted kings are buried, but
you'll   have  to  watch   out   for  the
See page 11
DO YOU HEED A TUTOR?
A few hours with a tutor from the Speakeasy Tutorial Centre
could put you back on the right track.
Anyone who feels qualified in any subject may also register as
a tutor.
REGISTER NOW
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FACULTY OF SCIENCE
UNDERGRADUATE STUDENTS
Please consult your DEPARTMENTAL
ADVISOR (Department Office) or
Faculty Advisor (Room 1507, Biol. Sc.
Bldg.) before leaving the Campus in
April for counselling regarding your
1978-79 academic program.
OFFICE OF THE DEAN
ADVICE FOR THE
Bank of Montreal has a complete financial
plan designed especially to get graduating
pixAessionals started in tiheirowi practice
Our FirstBank® Professional Loan Plan
booklet is full of ideas and advice to
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It's free, pick up j
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STUDENT UNION BUILDING   -    Stuart Clark, Manager 228-9021
ADMINISTRATION BUILDING - George Peirson, Manager 224-1361
X Friday, March 31, 1978
THE       UBYSSEY
Pag* 11
From page 10
Wheelwrights that guard the
treasures there."
Steve Howard, the portly but
lively barkeep at the Sylvana Di
Giacomo in Spree, met Frydo and
his companions at the door. "Well,
habbits is it, and so far from the
Pyre, too, though there's been
strange things happening of late, to
be sure, if only I could remember
any of them. Remember, now
that's a word that reminds me of
something. I was supposed to
remember something if I remember
correctly, but I'm sure I'll
remember what It is in time. Unless,
of course, I corget. . ."
Another habbit appeared from
nowhere. "I'm Kiejoon Kim. Shall I
get you some beer?" He
disappeared as quickly as he had
appeared. "Yes, beer! shouted
Howard. "You'll find all you like in
the bar, where I'm sure you'll hear
strange tales told, stories that'll
turn your kyles grey. Kim! Kim!
Put the habbits' ponies in Tom's
barn. Kim! Where did he go?"
Frydo, Tom, Peeping, and Merriiee
slipped into the bar, falling into a
quiet but kind ov'icky booth.
After a sip or two of Howard's
debilitating, cortex-numbing brew,
the habbits felt more at ease and
began to circulate through the bar,
which was filled with many local
Spree people, some related to
habbits from the Pyre, while many
more travellers from all over
Middle-of-the-Road Earth. Frydo
began to find his assumed name an
embarrassment. "Mclntyre," said
one Spreelander. "You aren't
related to the Neil McAllisters, are
you?" Another joined in. "Or
perhaps Mike MacLeod, or Nancy
McRitchie?"
A tall fellow in the back said,
"None of those sound at all similar.
I'm Chris Bocking and the only one
here that's really related to him."
But then everyone saw how tall he
was, and no one believed him. "If
you're Chris Bocking then I'm Chris
Bannister," said Chris Bannister,
and they turned back to Frydo,
who  was  getting more nervous by
the moment. "I know," he cried
out. "I'll sing a song." He put his
hands behind his Back like he did
when he was reciting lessons at the
riding association, and began to
sing:
Ken Whiteside was walking
Through the rain to town
Dave  Dixon   drove  by,  spraying
mud
So now he's called Ken Brown.
"That was a bit silly," said a
stranger nearby. Frydo couldn't see
who it was cloaked in a dark
corner, with muddy, travel-stained
legs stretched out on a chair, so he
edged closer. "I'm called Walker,"
said the stranger, "though I'm also
called by other names. I am the
ruler-that-never-was, and ^a\/e had a
long history in Middle-of-the-Road
Earth." Tom hissed behind Frydo.
"Don't trust her, Mr. Bocking."
Merriiee agreed. "I don't like the
looks of it." Walker smiled. "Is it
the rough clothes I wear that worry
you?" Peeping Nicol shook her
head. "Oh no, it's just that we were
expecting someone much taller."
*****
At last they made it to
Drivelhall, the Last Half-way
House, where they would spend
some time drying out with the Elite
Elves and prepare for the journey
ahead. The elegant Carl Vesterback,
the Half-Shaven, bade them
welcome. "Golly gee, Mr. Bocking,
I've never seen so many elves," said
Tom, looking around with large,
round eyes. "Please, call
elves'elves,' if you will, but leave us
leprechauns alone," said the
magically green Edmond O'Brien
and Shelley Sweeney and Terry
Glavin. "What are you doing here?"
asked Frydo.
"Damned if I know," replied
Glavin.
*****
Carl the Half-Shaven addressed
the gathering of men, elves, dwarfs,
habbits, rabbits, wizards, lizards,
leprechauns and nerds. "Fellow
men, elves, dwarves, wharves. . ." A
voice interrupted. "Start again."
Carl cleared his throat and tried a
different   tack.   "We   must form  a
Thinking of
Fine Arts
at York University?
The Faculty of Fine Arts is hosting an informal
reception and information evening to show a short
film on the Faculty and to discuss the programs
available in Dance, Film, Music, Theatre, Visual
Arts and General Honours. All are welcome.
Thursday, April 20, from 7-9 p.m.
at the Hotel Vancouver
Auditions for York's Department of Dance will be
held in Vancouver at the Prism Dance Theatre (518
West Hastings) on Saturday, April 22, from
2:30-4:30 p.m. Tobe evaluated, please call Toronto
(416) 667-3243. For Further Information contact
Heather McArthur in Toronto at (416) 667-3237.
Subfilms reaches into its hat and pulls out:
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Compny of Nein to combat the
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Schreiner, Graeme Foster, Mike
Skinner, Dave Fraser, Mario
Lowther. . ."
"Boring again. Start again," said
the voice again. Everyone looked at
the wizened Vohanka, who sat
beside Carl at the huge oaken table.
"The Company of Nein must be
chosen now," said Vohanka and she
fell silent, sucking at a long, ornate
pipe. "Careful, Sue, you keep
hiccuping and wasting it," said
Verne McDonald, the barbarian
prince from far-away Gonzor.
Vohanka composed herself and
continued. "We have to have a
blorg — that would be Verne — and
a wizard — that would be me.
Habbits we have lots of. We must
choose an elf and a dwarf." The
elves all drew together in their own
end of the room and chose Bruce
Baugh,      the      Elite      Elf      from
See page 22
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CALL ISRAEL PROGRAM CENTER -
266-5366 Page 12
THE       UBYSSEY
Friday, March 31, 1978
Unemployment hit
From page 1
(demonstrators). We need a
government with resources
developed for the people of this
country, one with socialism as the
first item on the agenda. Anything
short of that will be a band-aid."
George North, B.C. Teachers
Federation spokesman, expressed
concern for unemployed teachers.
"We don't want them (teachers)
to become extinct. The government has got to get back to basics.
We want jobs for everybody."
All MLAs were sent a package
from the Citizen Lobby for Jobs
and asked to fill out a questionnaire on unemployment, said a
B.C. Federation of Labor
spokesman. About 60 or 70 people
appeared at the parliament
buildings Wednesday in lobby
teams to pick up the questionnaires
and discuss unemployment with
the MLA, he said.
Although they were asked to set
appointment times with the lobby
teams, he added, only one third of
the legislative members did so.
Most MLAs refused to fill out their
questionnaires or said they had
"no time," he said.
All NDP members filled out their
questionnaires, but only two
Socreds, he said.
Most students were optimistic
about the demonstration.
Lome Rogers, president of AMS
committee for student unemployment, called the demonstration a double success and said
he was pleased with its results.
"I found it encouraging that we
(UBC) were able- to
fill a bus (of demonstrators) and
that so many people from the labor
movement showed up."
Rogers said students could not
expect miracles in combatting
unemployment, but thought
demonstrations would help bring
people closer to a goal of socialism.
"Students have no real conception of the power people have
when they get together and
organize, especially in politics.
People are brought up on individualism and don't feel their
potential (in fighting unemployment)."
Young socialist member Elaine
Bernard said she thought the
demonstration was successful, and
that the answer to unemployment
is organization.
"People are organizing around
their oppression to change the
government situation. A demonstration won't change the situation
any less than the people inside (the
parliament buildings) who are
shovelling shit."
B.C. Students' Federation
.spokeswoman Punam Khosla said
the demonstration was the first
step in providing the required
momentum to fight unemployment.
"People expressed themselves
and didn't hold back. The
demonstration shows people
they're not alone and that they're
not outcasts if they're unemployed."
She added that  premier Ben-
UBC, union
meet again
next week
From page 1
Police were called to the picket
site Saturday, although versions of
what actually happened differ.
Hunter, who wrote a report on
the incident for the administration's public relations weekly, UBC
Reports, said Thursday "in no
way, in any way" does the
university say the attack was instigated by union members on the
picket line, although his story
infers that strongly.
Kadey says the Saturday night
trouble was actually instigated by
the "scabs," one of whom he said
assaulted striker Henry Houston.
nett's refusal to speak to the "If we were a crowd of
demonstrators was typical of the businessmen, he'd be out there in a
Socred attitude. flash."
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March 23 - 25
RAY O'TOOLE & SPECIAL GUEST
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APRIL 3 & 4 - Al Wold Quartet
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FRASER ARMS
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Ends Saturday
Jane Fonda —  Geo. Segal
"FUN WITH DICK & JANE"
9:20
Robert Redford in
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7:30
Starting Monday
Clint Eastwood
"HIGH PLAINS DRIFTER"
9:20
Restricted—coarse   language   and
brutality
and Mohammed Ali —
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"THE GREATEST" 7:30
 Adults and Students $2.  'W
ROLLING CLONE.  APRIL I, 1978
OH, Fr^RFUCKSAKEWHY!
LOSER..
Thinking of an expensive stereo? Think it'll change
your situation? Forget it. Minimum RMS at 8 ohms,
from 20 to 20kHz, at 0.1* TKD with Dolby still
spells loser for you, buddy. Owning a Sonyjeac,
Akai or Kenwood won't make you any less of a
do-nut.
SO IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR
SOMETHING FOR YOUR EARS, PUT
OUR PRODUCT TO YOUR HEAD	
AND DO US ALL A FAVOUR.
STOEGER ARMS CORPORATION,
507 FIFTH AVENUE. NEW YORK, N. Y.
AMERICA'S   GREAT   GUN   HOUSE ROLLING CLONE, APRIL 1, 1978
666
April 1, 1978 "All the News That's Flack"
Cover photograph by Maggie Trudeau
Queen Elizabeth
Her majesty's a pretty nice girl,
and Rolling Clone finds out what
she has to say in an exclusive tour
of Buckingham Palace.
By Ben Wrong-Stories
13
After the tremendous response to our cover story on
Princess Caroline of Monaco we decided that if we were
going to give anyone the royal treatment, we may as well do
something about the number one monarch of the past 25
years. While Ben Wrong-Stories was interviewing Lizzie, he
was surprised to find that she expressed a number of strong
opinions, including a declaration that "Anarchy in the U.K."
was her family's favorite song at the moment. ("There's not
a tea-time when Charles, dear boy, doesn't raise a fuss if we
don't put the Sex Pistols on the Hi-Fi").
Shaiin Cassidy
By Jonathan Clott
16
Our reporter wandered onto the set of The Hardy Boys and
was run over by a van, which was driven by teenage
heart-throb Shaun Cassidy, who joined our reporter in the
hospital after the van struck a retaining wall.
Rock & Roll
Business News
33%
Frank Zappa releases a marketing survey on teenage taste
and sexual proclivities; and Richard Nixon will release a
single, reportedly, a new version of My Way, to coincide with
the publication of his memoirs.
Jimi Hendrix
By Gary Gilmore
30
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The voodoo chile didn't stop making heavenly music after
his untimely death in 1970; on the contrary, the music
flowing out of Hendrix's guitar is more heavenly than ever.
Our man in heaven, Gary Gilmore, sends us Iris first dispatch
from his new post.
Charlie's Angels
By Charles Manson
38.
Cult expert and associate editor Charlie Manson sins his
teeth into the cult surrounding the three female detectives and asks the question: how many angels can dance on
the head of a pin. Later, our correspondent found out how
many pins fit into the head of an angel.
Booze and Opium
By Nelson Rockefeller
45
For thirty years the government has been saying that low
levels of Nazism is harmful. Now new virulent forms of
Nazism are spreading and our politicians are giving the
phenomenon a second look. Associate editor and Wann
Winner's mentor Nelson Rockefeller states the case for the
goose-steppers.
Generating
Currents 	
Compartments
 39
American
Blandstand	
 56
Beside
the Screams	
 69
Crooks 	
 19
Letters	
     4
Noose Talk 	
 13
Booze and Opium
Pernicious  .
 45
 89
Pubic noticed   .  .
 96
Random Ghosts
Wrecks
    9
 33
Rnrk & Roll
 21
rjitinattj hinltiher: WANN S. S. WINNI K
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BRYANT. JOHN BIRCH. ROBIRI Wil Sll. I'HYIISS
SODAI-LY. JOHN KI-YNOl l)S. MARY WOK 1 II. SIMMY
HOLT. BFRNK I- 01 RARD. IIMOHIY WI \K1
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flureuui. und Brani-hcs fi^s MuiKiuik Slri-i-i l>.iku-)jk
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The entire wiinlen^ nf Rolling (luni- jre lonvnghl 1')"
by ROSTOCO CORP.. j wholly nwni-J MihMiliary
Xerox Corp. jnd muy no! he produn-il. enhi-r in nholi-
pari, without wnllen permiSMon Iroin The Pre-Mik-nt
the United Slates. All rights divine All writing suMim
The publisher does not assume responsibility lor al
soeial, political or economic issues except thu
concerning the publisher and il you're going to get .
self-righteous about it why don't you go join Ihe Pea
Corp.
Publisher will return ail materials which show  no hope
turning a profit.
First Classlyou bet! postage-paid in gold com   which do
not devalue over the years tunlike this inagj/mel.
Published (too frequently) at New York. ROLLING CLONE, APRIL 1, 1978
AMERICAN
BLANDSTAND
RAVE HARSH
I recently went round to Manhattan Medical
Research Corporation after receiving an
intriguing call from its associate director
Dr. Chris Wynberg. All he would say over
the phone was that he was involved in client-
to-clone research and wanted to talk to AB
about it.
Over at MMRC Dr. Wynberg opened his
files and showed me names, instructions,
and current data on the progress of each
clone. Peeking at some of the names, my
mind boggled. Apparently the biggest
names on the rock scene have been funnelling millions of body cells and dollars into
clone research. I asked Wynberg what made
them all rush to MMRC. "It must be that
millionaire guy who got into clones first. He
owns stocks — RCA, Columbia, ITT — so the
word got passed around at a few parties."
"We got a call right away from Mick
Jagger asking about group clone rates and
clones-from-death. Well we haven't gotten
into that area too much, but the rumor in
medical circles is that's why Chaplin got
lifted last month; somebody out there is
trying to resuscitate a perfect Little Tramp.
Anyhow, Jagger was asking about re-
Joplinizing and I heard Bianca in the
background asking about Maria Callas."
I asked if these requests are taken
seriously. Wynberg's eyes widened.
"Yeah," he said, "Sure! I take it so
seriously that I was able to tell Mick right
away, Well, Mick,' I said, 'I'd love to help,
but I think Keith Richards's cells are too
toxic' You know? I mean I may be a harbinger of miracles and all that, but I'm not
playing God."
I thanked Wynberg for the tour, and after
I had left I turned over in my mind the facts
he had just told me. Cloning has made the
rounds of the angel-dusters; everyone
knows about it; the potential for the rock
scene is incredible. It reproduces a single
star 100% whole, unadulterated, no Judy-
Liza City. It's on the way up and in.
Think about it. Cloned, Peter Frampton
could tour five cities — at once. Dylan could
concert for five hours, come backstage,
crash, and send out a clone to finish the set.
Fleetwood Mac could go for another fifty
years, their Greatest Hits selling longer
than White Christmas. Bette Midler could
get a TV series and never run out of fresh
ideas.
If Paul Simon could make a clone improvement and become taller he'd generate
a fortune in poster sales of the tall Paul.
More Ted Nugents in the world would save
invaluable resources from vegetable farming because, like their dad, they'd eat only
meat.
And with more Rudolf Nureyevs, Tennessee Williamses, and Richard Chamberlains around, big-time gays would have a
chance to make a better world as well.
Of course there are the drawbacks, grave
and ever-present. We all know the pesky
moral ones, but even beyond that. This kind
of thing runs the risk of being a fad, a
gimmick among people in the music crowd.
Is it [possible? I hope not; I hope Joni
Mitchell won't do it just to tempt Warren
Beatty for another 20 years, or Paul McCartney just to see if he can stay mad at
Yoko until the 22nd century.
Remaking rock stars is just too big a thing
to be played around with. Only the most
serious and dedicated artists should attempt
to reap windfall profits all over again.
Fortunately it looks as though MMRC has
made a good start, unless the 1978 clients
decide to defer their payments until the
clones hit the charts for tax purposes, in
which case Wynberg is in trouble. Possibly
' clients will have to watch out for a tentatively planned self-destruct mechanism in
the offspring triggered by adolescence
unless MMRC can depend on the fees to be
forthcoming.
The ethics of cloning is a not unimportant
issue. But which is more important,
dangerous experimentation into an
unknown field, or the idea of another
generation of Linda Ronstadt? Made your
choice? I certainly have.
O-RESPONDENTS
HATE MAIL & VICE
You have now
I always wanted to write a letter to the
' Rolling Clone and never wrote one
until now.
Jo-Jo
T-Grill, ElPaso
Texas
Did we ever get our picture on the cover
of   the   Rolling   Clone?   I   can't
remember.
Or. Hook
and the Medicine Show
Wyoming
(~)h whatever happened to the good old
^ Rolling Clone which we used to wait
for with such joy. Long gone are the old
days of Rolling Clone when I used to lay
back on the porch with my old man and
spread the pages down between us as
we hauled on a reefer or two. Those
days are gone forever. You changed
your layout. And the print's darker. No
good as rolling papers and whenever we
lie on the pages we get print marks on
our bums!
Jinny and Roy Wydeman
Madrigal, New Mexico
think Wann Winner is a great piece
of meat.
Duane Temple
Manhattan, N. Y.
/THE VWHOc£
/    UMIVfcASE  IS
compterer
V INSANE!
he sings sweetly
by the skin of his teeth
and the echo
of his melody
where will we find our sweet
immolation
in the distant sound of his guitar
Here's to Charles M. Dung. What's
your problem? Jealous of Big
Wann's dick? Is it Queen's fault the
New York audiences were a bunch of
sticklebacks?
a Queen Fan
Seattle, Washington
She stood like green pines
astride the hill
I passed by
and buttoned up my fly
Deep emotions
I think Billy Joel has a wonderful
sense of poise on stage. I love his
taste in clothes. Simply Fabulous! I
saw his concert in Vancouver and I
really liked it. I like the pictures on his
album covers. I really like all his music
because it's so deep. There seems to be
some message in everything. I think his
message is that he's really a nice
sincere guy and he's open to deep
emotions. He's so very sensitive. I can
tell it. Listen to the dreamy lyrics in his
songs some time.
Esther Kahn
Vancouver
yEAH! YEAH! On the trail of the
' dingo tree (Doobie Doobie) baby
brought to me (jewbie dewbie do) unrequited interest to the surface. I must
admit I gave my way (dumeedeedum)
as I fought my way through the snow to
a dark dreary swamp.
Bennet-Keefer
Iowa
Hard line
u:
I nder Is Tombstone: I pray that you
can help me. Some of my friends
have said you can arrange to have
published some poems and I think this
is really far out because, well I am a
poet. Actually a poetess. Anyway so far
I have only been published in the
Granola Times and think if ROLLING
CLONE could print one of my poems I
might be able to get a collection of my
work, titled Organic Chemicals in My
Head, into a book. Please, Mr. Tombstone, would you act as my agent and
ask His Eminence Wann Winner to put
it in your magazine? Thank you very
much.
Seagull Lake Sassafrass
Ogojfogo.B.C.
He smiled sadly
my teeth have all gone away
his head he turned
and all the silent swans swam by
UNDER 'IS TOMBSTONE replies:
Dear S. L. Sassafrass, screw you and
the horse you rode iii on.j Yr. quaint
notion that this piece of shit is worth the
paper it's printed on is a product of a
mind even more demented than my
own. Besides give me just one reason
why publishing this groupie slop about
some pock-faced bass player in a
Kansas bar band will improve Winner's
chances in the race for senate? Is your
old man a Republican Daddy War-
bucks? 1 fucking doubt it. However, as
it happens we're short of letter this
issue so why not run some hippy-dippy
soporific meander\ngs? Pardon my
reply — I usually puke.
l ust decided to drop you a line to
J compliment you on hiring former
president Gerald Ford's son Jack as
assistant to the publisher (no kidding).
I think Jack was always an asset to the
White House while Jerry was still
where he belongs, acting as a government liaison officer with Bianca Jagger
et. al. Now I'm certain he'll be in a
position to help Mr. Winner into the
Senate, what with all that Republican
support. But if Wann wants to be sure
he gets in he should look around for
someone else who knows the corridors
of power in Washington.
Julie Eisenhower
Washington, D.C.
Contrary to most of the readers who
write into the Rolling Clone I enjoy
your crisp new commercial format.
And in these days of economic recession there's nothing wrong with
trying to turn a dollar.
Ralph Deceased-one and that other
crowd were idealists who didn't see the
necessity of making the Rolling Clone
into a sound financial investment. They
believed they were a voice of the
counterculture.
But what does that mean. I'm glad to
see that your management has changed
its position from one of idealism to one
of pragmatic economic sense.
Perhaps Deceased-one's death was
timely if not necessary. Because it's
clear that the Rolling Clone has now
come of age.
Ted Collins
Los Angeles
My guitar holds my mind
in beautiful electric blues
cord from my heart swings free to you
and we move
through the land of shady
shadows
to the place of nevermore
r~)onald Fagen shouldn't worry. In a
hundred years, people may not
remember Tommy Bolin, Fred Dartmouth, Brian Eno, Claude or Frank
Zappa, but they'll remember him.
Walter Becker
Dan Steelytown, Minn.
}
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a ROLLING CLONE, APRIL 1, 1978
fomuttf (fatten i4> jetdt <* neaedem qutf
w&& tafo <*$ finaUe*H4- o£ fad, omt
fo fa6e cane oj:
ti6e 6eefuH$ lUde Sitfy 4o4en
at State duutenA* and GtopfuKQ
A*HCf-'& ttunAetHOieL
pKMt WMMina CUHU&.
And yet we expect &u*
to- fautdle piddltf
pneUeCeHtcai fin&6lem4>
U6et6e ectuttottff,
andtfieTHiddU SmC
Jimmy 'sjwt a good old boy
By CHIP CARTER	
I thought I'd puke when I
finished reading all that filth
about my father, the President,
that's being bandied about in the
press these days, about the usual
doldrums of a presidency in midterm, and alleging mishandling*
of different issues, including the
nation-wide coal miners strike,
the Panama Canal treaty problems,
the continual upheaval in the
Middle East and Communist
presence in Africa. So I thought
I'd do a Clone piece to set the
record straight and give an intimate view of our family.
After all the President can't be
expected to solve all the problems that pop up across the
globe simply because he's the
leader of the world's most
powerful military and economic nation, and what he says
goes or else.
The Middle East situation is
thousands of years old, and no
one's expecting Jimmy to perform miracles. The President
can't do that, in running the
country he's got thousands "of
everyday things to take care of
anyway, like making sure Uncle
Billy doesn't get too drunk and
barf at state dinners.
Now my Aunt Ruth, with the
bold new Christian movement
BEHOLD, Inc., she's the one in
the family who does miracles,
minor ones of course, like fixing
broken garburetors, which just
goes to show that the family is
just a big, cosy group, just a big,
happy family. And that goes for
Jimmy, too. He's a real regular
guy when he's in a relaxed atmosphere, away from Oval
Office formality. Why, just the
other day I heard him telling the
Japanese ambassador a joke.
"Pimping is actually the best
business there is," he said.
"First you've got it, then you
sell it, but you've still got it."
What a cut-up. And with these
curly whites the guy could've
made it big in Vegas. I'm not so
good at comedy, the thinkpiece
being more my thing. When I
was in India last year with my
grandmother Lillian, attending
the Indian president's funeral, I
told the same joke to the Dalai
Lama but it didn't go down too
well. It must have been the language barrier. Dad says he always has trouble with interpreters, whether it's in Poland or
the Appalachia. But he's
discreet too, and now only tells
"ethnic purity" jokes in
private.
Then there's that nasty Tri-
Lateral Commission. Dad's religious life has been poisoned
ever since that mean Republican Nelson Rockefeller told him
to join because the Tri stood for
the holy trinity, when in fact it
meant that businessmen from
Japan, Europe and America
have divided the world among
themselves.
I remember bim praying that
the paper shredder machine
wouldn't jam when he fed all
THAT correspondence into it,
and he couldn't keep his concen
tration on the arms limitation
talks until his religious advisor
told him that praying for the
Commission was just a venial
sin, and not mortal, just as
swearing by the Trident submarine and its namesake chewing gum won't profane the Holy
Trinity. He just stumbled
around for days --before that,
worrying that his grandson,
James Earl IV, won't be around
to take the highest office in the
year 2020.
But that's all plutonium under
the reactor until then, or babies
in the D and C bucket, as my
wife Caron always says.
And Dad figures that with the
NAACP vote all wrapped up because we've got "misunderstood killer" Mary Fitzpatrick
as Amy's nursemaid, (they
never leave them alone, Mary
IS unpredictable) he's got the
nation's big plum wrapped up
for six years and can get down
to running God's country, and
making Ronald Reagan eat
manure over his Panama ravings. Revenge is only sweet if
you win, Dad said at dinner last
night. Lincoln said that, I think. ROLLING CLONE, APRIL 1, 1978
AN DOM GHOSTS
Like a Rolling Stone Dept.:
all Bob Dylan's custody problems are over with after the
tragic accident at his Malibu
mansion last week. The whole
house got the subterranean
homesick blues and slid over a
cliff edge on to his wife and
children sunbathing on the
beach below. We won't say the
answer was blowin' in the wind.
Let It Bleed Dept.: Rolling
Stone Keith Richards landed in
hospital last week after walking through a plate-glass window on the Rolling Stones tour
plane during an onboard party.
A young nurse volunteered to
donate the blood needed by
Richards and immediately was
injected with two quarts of
Courvoisier and an ounce of
pharmaceutical cocaine.
Bianca's best friend Mick Jagger was involved in a freak auto
accident last week. Cruising the
freeway in his convertible, he
put his face up over the windscreen to get the hair out of his
eyes. He lost control when he
was beaten black and blue by
his lips. When asked to what he
owes his fluid stage choreography, His Grace the oddity David
Bowie admitted "I used to
study tap dancing when I was
young — but I had to quit because I kept falling into the
sink." Liquid moves, as usual
. . . The heat is on Canned Heat
to have a reunion tour as part of
a mass-promoted 1960s revival
sometime in 1979. They'd be on
wife" . . .Since Johnny Rotten's
departure from the Sex Pistols,
Sid Vicious and the boys have
been auditioning for a replacement vocalist. Potential prospects include Miss Lillian Carter, Under 'Is Tombstone, and
Tonight Show anchorman Ed
McMahon. The most promising
of the auditioners however
seems to have been Ugandan
President for Life, Idi Amin.
Amin told Rolling Clone yesterday, "I like punk rock and have
been practising putting safety
pins in flesh for years."
Hotter Than Hell Dept.: Gene
Simmons, bassist for rock
group Kiss, was injured during
the band's New Orlean's performance, it seems that Simmons' soul food dinner did not
agree with him and when, dur
ing his firebreathing act, he
burped and farted at the same,
time and his intestines were
fried to chitlins. His tongue,
which had to be amputated, was
purchased by Masters and
Johnson shortly following the
accident . . . Thanks for the
Mammaries Dept: "They've
been growing since I was so
high," country and western
golden girl Dolly Parton used to
say. Doctors discovered her
million-dollar babies were
malignant and performed a
massive masectomy last
December — and January .. .
John Lennon is still alive somewhere—dammit . . . finally finishing sometime in March . . .
There's a movement beginning
in Britain to revive Punk rock
and bring the Sex Pistols to
gether again. All five of their
songs have been re-released
and are topping the charts there
. . . Boz Scaggs records for London records . . . Yes might be
putting out an album some time
on Epic (imported) . . . Stevie
Wonder is thinking of
switching from Motown to
Capitol. . .
MCA is amalgamating with
Warner Brothers . .. Mercury
might have a new centre-hole
design for the new Boston single
... Atlantic records, Columbia
records, Elektra, and RCA Victor are the names of some more
record companies . . . and to
end with a cheery note, noted
has-been Joan Baez had a baby
last week. It was stillborn.
OF Blue Eyes coming back
futUukn
lilk a, 'Re.frxSiioXH.
i&iatvi. coHAuCenA.
&i& ^cttwte political caneen
Elton John's scalp lies bleeding
in his hand after an emergency
operation to correct complications from his hair transplant
surgery. Seems the motor control of the Pillsbury dough-boy
of the jet set was being destroyed by ingrown hairs piercing his brain. . . The concert
doctor for Winterland Stadium
pronounced rock'n'roll animal
Lou Reed dead backstage after
a marathon three-hour concert.
Reed will be appearing next
wajk in Toledo and Detroit. . .
Frank Zappa is recuperating in
his Laurel Canyon home after
an anbulance crew administered emergency oxygen to him
following a severe attack of
moustache inhalation.
Not a Speck of Cereal Dept.:
Ted! Nugent, celebrating the release of his new album Double
Live Gonzo, threw a buffet dinner at Studio 54. The centrepiece of the menu, which included raw venison, wild boar and
~aiga oysters (pickled elk testes), was Nugent's latest acquisition, that comely collie and
television personality, Baked
Lassie. Rolling Clone publisher
Wan Winner was seen at Studio
54 dancing with Bianca Jagger
wearing a Halston dress  . . .
ECORDS
the road again with the Byrds,
the Fish, Sly and the Family
Stone, and (of course) the
Beatles, all culminating in a
festival at the site of the original
Woodstock in New York, where
Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin. and
Jimi Hendrix will be resurrected from their tanks of liquid
nitrogen. We still can't get word
on whether Fleetwood Mac is
going to be there . . . Latest
blast from the past on the comeback trail for a farewell in the
spotlight is Rudy Vallee, who,
noting the fantastic record-buying boom that has followed the
deaths of Elvis Presley and
Bing Crosby, is planning to kill
himself.
What You See is What you Get
Dept.: Tina Turner lit up the
stage during her last tour date
in Tulsa, Oklahoma. It seems
that during her suggestive performance of "River Deep,
Mountain High" her microphone shorted out resulting in
show business' first sonic hysterectomy . . . Drunken local
Scotsmen caused a good deal of
traffic congestion around Paul
McCartney's ranch house at the
Mull of Kintyre when the local
radio station played McCart
ney's new release, a revamped
version of the Beatle's classic
"I've Got to Get You into My
Frank Sinatra
Consolidated IBM 1984
By Charles Perrier
Frank Sinatra, one of the most
significant pop artists of our
time, has largely been ignored by our generation, except
of course for his unforgettable
single, "Strangers in the
Night." But now, ol' Blue Eyes
is back for our praise with his
astonishing album, Frankie
Hits Back.
Sinatra's latest effort has
been raised eyebrows around
the world with his smooth as
silk renditions of punk classics
such as "Anarchy in the U.K.,"
but it has been forgotten that
Sinatra could in fact be called
one of the earliest punk artists
of this century. In the tradition
of Johnny Rotten, Sinatra is a
legend for bopping or verbally
abusing those who get in his
way.
Listening to Sinatra crooning
"Anarchy in the U.K.," and his
mellifluous version of the
Clash's "I'm So Bored With The
U.S.A." Certainly the production of this album is so clear it
comes as close as possible in
eclipsing Jackson Browne's The
Pretender. It's that good.
Sinatra's origins would lead one
to believe that in any
progression to rock, 01' Blue
Eyes would fall into the same
genre as Bruce Springsteen.
And of course, the young
Sinatra looked eerily like Elvis
Costello, sans spectacles. And
of course, the driving rhythm
backing Sinatra's latest efforts
are undeniably those of another
all-American boy, Ted Nugent.
Now Nugent and Sinatra would
seem like an odd combination
singing British Sex Pistols
tunes.
One night last year, superstar
producer Tom Dowd was taking
in a Sinatra show at the Riviera
in Las Vegas. Dowd, who has
produced such artists as Rod
Stewart, was aware of the Sex
Pistols phenomenon, and
wanted to make himself part of
it.
What is more amazing is that
the visits by entertainment
giants who filed into the Record
Plant were escaped by the
Hollywood gossipmongers (yes,
that's Dean Martin, Tony Bennett and Sammy Davis Jr. belting out the "No Future" line
along with Sinatra on "God
Save the Queen.")
Release of the album was delayed, however, by disagreements between Dowd and
Sinatra over mixing and over-
dubbing. Dowd won the argument, however, and the result is
a great production
achievement.
Also in the album are standard renditions of "Handyman,"
"Wonderful World," Mull of
Kintyre," Bob Dylan's "Joey,"
and Randy Newman's "Short
People." These songs, which
are adequately performed, give
this landmark album needed
balance and perspective.
Lennon: give it up
A
h, the mighty, how they
are fallin'. Paul McCartney, the other half of the
1960s seminal songwriting
team, has become a superstar
in his own right (or writ, ha ha)
and is making over $5 million a
year (drool, drool) with Wir.gs.
John Lennon is still spewing
bull shit about "artistic integrity" and trying comebacks
from obscurity with self-indulgent crap like his latest album
Depraved Wish.
It makes us wonder what we
have to do to get rid of the guy.
Not that he isn't trying hard.
The first track, "Push Me
Hard," is better and more
energetic than anything he
ripped off for his Rocfe'n'Roii
album, with hard-driving guitar
and wailing voice, but really —
is this the guy that wrote "A
Day in the Life?"
Nor is that the only time he
falls short of the mark. "Lonely
Yesterday, Lonely Tomorrow"
has some of the haunting
quality of "Julia" on the White
Album, but is missing the clever
overdubs that made that song so
great.
Of course, Lennon has his
usual limp-wristed liberal
statement to make in "Chile: A
Dream," even going so far as to
rhyme "motherhood" with
"brotherhood." Come on, John,
the 1960s ended nearly ten years
ago.
I can't help but be disappointed with this piece of
trash from a drug-destroyed
has-been. I have to admit it isn't
disco (thank God for small
mercies) but isn't Fleetwood
Mac either.
B
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Fo
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i ROLLING CLONE, APRIL 1, 1978
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Dylan movie
rolls in Vegas
By Mr. Jones
M   O   B   I    L   E
Bob Dylan's entourage
arrived at the backstage
entrance to Caesar's
Palace only minutes after Joan
Baez's second set had begun in
the show lounge.
There was a flurry of excitement as security guards
ushered Dylan and his two
regular escorts, Lainie Fazan
and Stephanie Powers into the
dressing room.
The reason for the impromptu
visit to the city of one-armed
bandits was the latest opening
of Dylan's four hour movie
Renaldo and Clara.
The critics have been less
than kind to the film but Dylan
accepts it in a philosophical
manner.
"People's reactions to the
film depend on how far they've
gone in this life," he sighed to
the strains of "Love is Just a
Four    Letter    Word"
(re-arranged
by      Henry
Mancini)
drifted into the
room.
"I guess I'm
just farther
gone than most
people. What
matters is that
the film says
what it says. If
you get it
great, if you
don't that's
great too."
Dylan had
made a deep
study of the
cinema before
embarking on
the project and
he resents
assertions that
he doesn't
know   how to make a film.
"That's total bullshit," he
hissed into his martini. "I've
read Moviemaking in 18
Lessons and The ABC's of Film
Direction. I'm aware of what
involved."
"You see what people like
Bergman and Altman don't
realise is that it's a mistake to
get tied down to things like
telling a story and having
certain production values. And
why use actors when you have
lots of famous friends."
"The only real problem with
the film is that it's not long
enough, I really needed two or
three more hours to say what
needed to be said But still
there's more in that picture
than the average person like
you could ever understand.''
When asked if the film is
autobiographical Dylan
becomes visibly upset and
Kazan breaks out into uncontrollable laughter which
evolved into an asthmatic attack.
"Christ that's a boring
question," he sneered. "Just
because I play Renaldo and
Sara plays Clara everyone
thinks its our story. People just
have no concept of what is going
on '
But      what
about     the
characters
called Bob and
Sara      Dylan.
"Oh wow!
Don't you
realize that's a
brilliant
comment on
the gullibility
of the public? I
mean I'm not
Dylan, there is
no Dylan.
Everyone's
Dylan, who is
Dylan, Dylan
who? Dylan is
imaginary but
imagination is
real. What is
real? Don't ask
me, don't ask
Dylan, ask
yourself. No,
wait, don't
ask."
Dylan gets
up and paces
about the room
muttering to
himself while Kazan is attended
to by the St. John's Ambulance
man. Stephanie Powers is
engrossed with In the Know
magazine and is unaware of the
master's anger.
Suddenly Pat Henry the well
known comedian passes
through the room and the
tension breaks as Dylan and he
hug. Dylan pulls your
unassuming but highly
regarded journalist over and is
told that Henry is a close personal friend.
After the comic leaves Dylan
confides in your scribe a few of
the details of his recent ugly
divorce
"She (Sara) just didn't understand me," he shined, "she
never did you know. She always
wanted to see me as some kind
of folk singer."
"She just couldn't accept the
fact that I was so much more, a
filmmaker, a poet, an artist.
Christ she was stupid."
When reminded of the many
songs he wrote for her he denies
that they were intended for her.
"Most of them were for Joan
(Baez). 'Sad Eyed Lady of the
Lowlands' was for Ronee
Blakley."
But Dylan didn't even know
her when he wrote the song.
"Don't lay that time trip on
me. Dylan didn't know her but I
did. Hey, it's a song in anticipation."
"Sara was sweet and I think
she still loves me," he whispers
glancing at Powers. "Personally I never had any use for
her and I'd slap her around
again if I had it to do all over."
"But I guess things worked
out for the best," he said as he
got up to join Baez on stage for a
grand finale of "Masters of
War."
"Politics is shit, but who
cares. Who cares about any of
that crap. Living life is where
it's at."
And for Dylan life is at the
Malibu colony where he is
surrounded by his many friends
who give him the strength to
carry on his many projects.
Coming up in the next year is I
a new album, The Motorcycle \
Accident Tapes, a five hour film i
about   a   mythical   character
named Rob Dylan (to be played
by Donovan) and the first annual Bob Dylan Desert Classic
Golf Tournament.
Big Mac makes record profit
AS YOU MAS• RECALL, IHUPPUCKER,
EVERY NINE MONTHS, WU EMERGE
FROM YOUR HERMITAGE TO PROVIDE
YOUR. LE&ON OF ADMIRERS OJTTH
ONE CRISPLY PRODUCED STATE-
OF-THE-ART ROCK'N'ROLL  ? _e
MASTERPIECE! '
SHALL I
SEND A
CAR.FOK.
YOU?
T?S*
By Dow Jones
Mick Fleetwood cracked a
smile, a multi-million
dollar smile, and looked
over the cost-benefit charts
once again. "The corporation
has made significant gains for
the third consecutive quarter.
We've paid out dividends to
shareholders again and stock
sales are up 40 per cent," he
said, tugging at the conservative three-piece pinstripe
suit that Fleetwood has taken to
wearing, even in concert. After
listening to the noon stock exchange report, Fleetwood explained the band's phenomenal
success.
"Rave," he said, until I
corrected him. "Mr. Harsh,
what people don't understand
when they look at the band and
try to account for our success is
that we've totally sold out.
There's no reason to deny it
since the publicity can only up
record sales anyway. In fact
commercialism will be the
theme of our next album,
tentaively entitled Profit$.
"I mean lets take an honest
look at the band. There we were
in 1975; two burned out British
blues band veterans, a
keyboardist who narrowly beat
out Linda McCartney for the
job, a California guitarist who
sang soprano and his girlfriend,
a singer who made Rod Stewart
sound smooth. Like, who would
-have thought that in three years
we could be the world's most
profitable group.
Fleetwood continued after an
interrupting phone call from his
Wall Street broker. "Fleetwood
Mac had only one thing going
for it — the fact that it was, and
is, a pathetic grouping of
neurotic musicians whose love
lives most closely  resembled
mink. And that made us the
epitome of the American
dream. All we had to do was put
our love lives on vinyl and we
had it made.
Fleetwood had hit the nail on
the head. Who could resist
hearing about slinky Stevie
Nicks' love life. I started
drooling uncontrollably. And
Christine McVie breaking up
with her old man John, playing
onstage with him night after
night, and going home with the
lighting man. What pathos! I
placed an order for my third
crate of Rumors. Playing them
16 hours a day wears the vinyl
out fast, I told Fleetwood.
"Another factor in our success," he beamed. "Substandard material for albums
has meant savings of more than
50 cents per unit.
"And naturally all our
production facilities are in
Chile, where we got a great deal
on labor rates from Augusts
Pinochet, who is one of our
biggest fans. We dedicated a
song on Rumours to him, "Don't
Stop," but Warner Bros,
wouldn't print it on the album,
since it could hurt our Eastern
Bloc and Latin American sales.
"Anyway, there's another
important factor involved and
that's publicity. Everytime
someone changed their sexual
relationship in the band, we had
a big press release. You can see
the results in record sales, (see
Rolling Clone chart.)
"But for the next album we
can expect the same tactics to
double sales. And I think now is
an opportune time to give you
an exclusive on the band's lineup for the next tour. We've
signed up Farrah Fawcett-
Majors, Cheryl Tiegs and
Cheryl Ladd.
"In just album sales and
concerts alone the combination
should generate enough
revenue for us to buy
Buckingham Palace, which
Lindsey has had his eye on."
But suddenly Fleetwood
turned serious. "I know what
many of the Clone's readers
must be thinking now. But let
me assure you that we can still
maintain our taste and integrity
while totally selling out to the
system. The dollar reigns
supreme for Mac and business
acumen is our number one
talent, but hey, we really enjoy
making music or we wouldn't be
here."
I couldn't help but be inspired
by the band's sense of artistic
responsibility in a time when
many other bands just don't
give a shit. Fleetwood Mac
really is a band for the $even-
ties, I concluded as one of the
band's fleet of Mercedes
limousines whisked me through
Harlem to the Clone offices.
Year-end Fiscal Report/Fleetwood Mac Co. 1978
FIRST QUARTER SECOND QUARTER THIRD QUARTER FOURTH QUARTER ROLLING CLONE, APRIL 1, 1978
Frida
Elegant Stones hold concert
Rolling Stones
Metropolitan
Opera House
New York
April 1st, 1978
By Rave Harsh
The 8th anniversary of Altamont
gala Rolling
Stones concert
will most certainly be remembered
as the social event
of the season. Everyone who's
anyone was there and the whole
affair was distinguished by its
impeccable taste.
This was the first Rolling
Stones concert held in the
Metropolitan Opera House of
New York and it is sincerely to
be wished that it will not be the
last. Finally the brocade carpets to the dazzling chandeliers
the decor proclaimed firmly but
gently that rock has at last
arrived.
Then, of course, there was the
magnificent set designed by
Andy Warhol. The theme of the
concert being Gimme Shelter,
Warhol had constructed a
black and white back-drop of
high-contrast photographs of
the shack-towns that can be
found on the outskirts and in the
ghettos of any major American
city. The parallel with rock is
obvious: both are on the outside, beyond the pale, but what
could better claim to represent
the essence of America, its
hopes and dreams, its energy
and perserverence? In front of
the back-drop stood a giant pair
of Mick Jagger lips made from
cherry-red  inflated   palstic,
wide open, with the band inside.
The whole concept was unified
by two blood-stained daggers at
each side of the stage and a
banner across the top of the
stage which had in black Gothic
letters, You Can't Always Get
What You Want.
Guests began arriving at 9
p.m. for the exclusive reception
in the lobby. Pate de fois, caviar
in crystal dishes, campagne on
ice and cocaine in elegant 18th
century snuff-boxes were
among the. delicacies offered.
One by one the limousines
carrying the jewels of the beau
monde glided up in front of the
Opera House — John and Yoko
were among the first to arrive.
John looked very much the
father in his black two-piece
suit and horn-rimmed glasses
while Yoko, avant-garde as
usual in a sequinned dress,
smiled so as to leave no doubt
about how it feels to be one of
the beautiful people. ^
The guests poured in: Jackie
Onassis arrived with Mick
Jagger, who denied rumors that
he and wife Bianca were experiencing marital difficulties,
Peter Frampton came with
himself, Eric Clapton with Patti
Harrison, George Harrison with
the Guru Maharagi Ji, Bill
Graham with Billy Graham
(the latter who had just held his
wildly successful Children's
Crusade in the Fillmore
Auditorium). Princess Caroline
with Wann Winner, Fleetwood
Mac (Stevie Nicks with
Christine M c V i e, Lindsay
Buckingham with Mick'
Fleetwood and John McVie with
John Myall), Anne Margaret
with Roger Daltry and the
whole of Kiss flanked by
member of the re-unified
Nationalist Socialist Party of
the United States. Later a tardy
but smiling Jimmy Carter
arrived arm-in-arm with Bob
Dylan, who delighted the guests
with an impromptu serenade of
Sad Eyed Lady of the Lowlands
to surprise guest Queen Juliana
of the Netherlands.
At 11 p.m. ushers in fancy
evening dress asked the guests
to take their seats. Engraved
programmes were then
distributed indicating the order
of songs and the menu for the
after-midnight supper (aper-
tifs, escargots, Cote du Rhone,
trout almandine, Chateau
Lafitte Rothschild,
Chateaubriand, lemon ices, and
more, all supplied by 21, (no
ersatz Trader Vic's).
A hush fell over the crowd.
The lights dimmed. The curtains rose slowly to the music of
"Also Sprach Zarathustra" . ..
Ladies and gentlemen,
honored guests, the ROLLING
STONES! On they came,
bashing, wailing, guitars
strumming, drums moving in
dithyrambic frenzy. Richards
duck-walked, Watts flailed at
the drums, Ron Wood blasted
out some ragged lead guitar,
Wyman as usual was a Stone
alone, plunking on his bass.,
Something was missing,
though. No Jagger. Where could
he be? The band and the
audience grew anxious, people
got restless in their seats,
waiing for it, the moment.
Finally, Jagger came on, in a
white silk shirt and white tights,
jumping, prancing, dancing
through the giant plastic lips to
the front of the stage.
Jagger blew kisses to the
audience, bowed, and strew
buckets of flower petals over
those fortunates in the front
rows. The crowd was ecstatic.
At times he moved like a
Satanic Nijinsky, he had the
presence of a Valentino, the
wild untrammeled spirit of an
Isadora Duncan, but through it
all he was Jagger, the sympathetic devil of the age.
When the smoke bombs exploded at the finale of "My
Way," there was no doubt
anywhere that this had been an
Event.
The ex-Friscan-
super-hip-trip
Tom Wolfed
Ticka ticka ticka Ssssdi-di-
DA Sssssssdi-di-DA!
Sssssdi-di-dAA!
ZHOOOOO!! (Gesund-
heit!) tick tick tick ticka ticka
tick ticka tick tick tic (use kerosene) tititata titittata tititata
TA TA TA TAH TA TAH!!! tick
chicka chicka chicka chiclet
(Bazooka and the Paggridge
Family). Dee dee dee dada
(Jackson Pollock: Paintings for
a Pump-House Palamoosa, or is
zt a Palamoosa Pumphouse?
Rolling Clone, Jam 2f, 1969]
da. . . da. . . PSSSSSSSSS!!!!!
De dum and it looks like another
big-article-stuck-in-the-back-of
some-buck-a-shot-rag-but-you-
just-know-it'll-be-made-lnto-a-
book-by-itself — t (6.95-from-
Harper & Row-and-you-do-
want-to-keep-your-collection-
COMPLEAT-don'Uyou? by
TOM WOLFED!!! that avant-
garde onlooker of the scene,
harbinger of the exclamation
point, living proof that there's
big bucks to be made in the
American publishing business
for any dirty, dishevelled hippy
willing to forsake a moral or
three, buy a flashy three-piece
suit at Brooks, get your hair
styled by Maurice at that
converted witches' coven in the
village, — and but what's jthat?
It sounds familiar . . . like . . .
well, you know ... I think it's
coming from some publisher's
office ... I hear cash . . . how
you say . . . tingling. Yep. . . .
. . .CHALK UP ANOTHER
BIG MOVE FOR ROLLING
CLONE!!!!! Wann Winner puts
the phone back on the hook,
unable to suppress the
calculating smirk on his face,
recently suntanned from a five-
day jaunt to the Club Med at
Guadaloupe. "I own 25 per cent
of that club's assets, too . . .
well, through joint ownings."
Winner _^__^^_
starts waving
the morning's
Wall Street
Journal violently. When
he gets excited
he can out-enthuse [The
Existential
Language,
Rolling Clone,
Sept. 2, 1975)
any stockbroker on
Madison
Avenue.
When he first
came to
NYNY, as he
calls   it  with
hallow   rever-    	
ence, he had to prove himself
and break into the ol' boy
network. "Some of my best
friends are from Frisco, sonny
—'-' "uh-uhhh ... uhh that's San
Francisco, Mister Maggin."
"As I was sayin', John —"
JOHN!!!!! FOR CHRISSAKE
WHAT'S THIS JOHN
BUSINESS ANYWAY??!!! "—
it's nothin' personal, but your
magazine needs .. . image, boy,
image!! It's too Friscan —
nobody's ever gonna swipe from
a  rag  like  that.
"Look at this stuff you
publish. If you wanta get on the
staff of the New Forker you're
go ma have to do better than
this
But to watch Winner battle his   4
way  through an impasse  of j]
martini-ridden,   three-piece- &
suited, Westchester-born, Islip- ''
bred,    democratic-summer-  ''
camps-in-action is a  sight to
behold. He's learned to position '
his feet properly when signing a
notarized document. . . none of
this sloppy, feet-bent-in style he
used to get away with on those
rare occasions in San Francisco
when he'd take a potential advertiser to lunch at the Derby,
putting on his fleur-de-lis tie and
trying to hide his moustache all  -
the time. Now it's x
STYLE .
ALL THE WAY!! "*
HeeeeeeWACK!!!!!! ;r
looking like he's just walked out ,'?
of a Princeton drinking club (Oh f
no! Look out!!!!!! . . . Here it »>
Comes, Ready or Not . . . The f.
Kandy-Kolored Tangerine- K\
Flake Streamline Ivy League '■'
College, Rolling Clone, August \i
22, 1977). With Lauren Hutton £
look-alikes tugging at his arms. 4
Winner points to his view of
New York from his 33rd floor ;
office on 5th avenue ("Tell them '
I told you to spell it with a small N
'a'.   It's   more   Friscan,"   he  ",
suggests).  Friscan? Saaaaaan ,'
Fraaaaaanciscan?     Winner
doesn't care anymore.
He's one of the new breed of !'
magazine publishers, twice ,-
removed from the cosmic giigle ,;
he once believed in. COSMIC '
GIGGLE?? ?!!   HOO-HAH!!!!! ".
Now Winner has been asked to
do an arrow shirt ad. This neMV
breed of publisher is mighty
cool. Winner's got the contract-
signing and deed-arranging gig
("Don't call it a gig — it's too
Saaaaan Fraaanciscan") down
so beautifully that he's fooling
people who were sending their
sons to Exeter before Wenner
ammmwmwtmwmm even
discovered
There's big
bucks to be
made in the
publishing
business for
any hippy
willing to
buy a flashy
three-piece suit J
Chuch   Berry.
He      is
COOOOOO
T.T.i inn
Cooler than a
Caesar    salad
left     in     an
Amana
refrigerator
for    a    seek
(Roiling Clone
Goes    to    the
Emulsified Ail-
American
R unnlng-
Boarded
Tupperware
Party, June
That's how
cool these new-deal
publishers of the seventies can
be, right in the throbbing heart
of the nation, NYNY . . . well,
you know how cool things can
get, like in that Dylan interview
(King of the Last of the Red-hot
Status Groupies Gets It On
Again: Why the BEST Neo-
Journalist in Neo-America
Won't Go Near Dylan, Jan. 19,
1978, New Fork Magazine).
Winner glances out at the
smog-ridden landscape to check
his tie. A guy who mentions Jim
Croce and fixes his tie in the
same breath .. . that's how cool
this new breed of businessman
is
Coca
cons
rapid]
often 1
no ser
But
effect
you si
seriou
long p
In (
seven
to life
in legs
transp
drugs
crimii
"Pe
just b
party
they i
chargi
Legal
P©
"Yo
posses
minut
warne
of gra
chargi
purpos
The
convic
seldon
senten
Bea
courts
as eitl
indicti
Serf
RCMI
a pers
$1,000
tried i
offenc
"If
fences
larger
charg
which
maxir.
"Th
going
unless
volvec
"Th
they t
is, h:
Maddi
say hi
up at
his fa:
hang i
chargi
Evil
thattt
"On
cocain
thatw
and c
efforts
and tr
thatdi
cocain
Mac
consid
than t
i
IntI Friday, March 31, 1978
THE       UBYSSEY
Page 21
Laws turn cocaine into
serious social problem
By JEFF RANKIN
Cocaine is a drug that few people
consider dangerous. It is a
rapidly growing phenomenon,
often lauded as a social drug with
no serious health effects.
But there is one serious health
effect that should be considered if
you snort coke, and that is the
serious health effect of spending
long periods of time in jail.
In Canada you can get up to
seven years for possession and up
to life for trafficking. Trafficking,
in legal terms, means to sell, give,
transport, or distribute, illegal
drugs as defined by the federal
criminal code.
"People should be aware that
just by taking it (cocaine) to a
party and turning on a few friends
they are liable to a trafficking
charge," Rod Holloway of the B.C.
Legal Aid Society said Thursday.
Possession
"You can be charged with
possession for carrying even the
minutest amounts," Holloway
warned. "And if you had a couple
of grams or more they might well
charge you with possession for the
purpose of trafficking."
The majdmum penalty for a
conviction is life, but the courts
seldom hand out these kinds of
sentences, he said.
Because of legal loopholes, the
courts can try a possession charge
as either a summary offence or an
indictable offence.
Sergeant Ron Madden of the
RCMP drug squad said Thursday
a person is liable to a fine of up to
$1,000 and/or six months in jail if
tried for possession as a summary
offence.
"If a person has other drug offences, the crown will try to get a
larger sentence, and they will
charge the accused by indictment,
which can bring seven years
maximum," he said.
"The trend now is that they are
going by summary vonciction,
unless there are other things involved.
"There aire number of things that
they base it on: what his life style
is, his criminal record, said
Madden. Life style means, well,
say he doesn't have a job and gets
up at three every day, and drives
his fancy car down to the bars to
hang around. He will probably be
charged under indictment.
Evidently, cocaine is something
that the police take very seriously.
"One of our prime concerns is
cocaine," said Madden. "I think
that we concentrate on both heroin
and cocaine equally. Our main
efforts are towards the importers
and traffickers, and organizations
that deal in heroin will also deal in
cocaine."
Madden said police do not
consider cocaine less dangerous
than heroin.
"When you are talking about the
danger to the user, you are getting
into medical grounds, and I'm no
expert. But we are looking at it
from a crime aspect, and the social
side effects are serious.
"There is violence involved. Due
to the tremendous profits, the
people involved in trafficking are
not above using violence. The
organizers involved in cocaine
become involved in other criminal
activities."
But there is the problem due to
cocaine, or to the cocaine laws?
Holloway blames the laws.
Blame fhe laws
"Our criminal justice system is
loaded with victimless crimes that
harm no one but the person himself."
"Making these actions criminal
acts brings in the social problems
of trafficking and organized
crime," he said.
"I think it undermines the
concept of justice to bring in unenforceable laws on victimless
crimes, because it not only causes
the flourishing of illicit operations,
but it necessitates that the police
bring in enforcement measures
such as letter opening and
telephone tapping.
"This amounts to a gradual
erosion of civil rights, as well as a
huge burden on the taxpayer," he
said.
"It (cocaine) should be
regulated and not stamped out,
because that just doesn't work."
And it hasn't worked. Coke is
more popular than ever before,
with every star in Hollywood
getting their noses surgically
restored or their asses busted.
People magazine even  ran  a
spread entitled In Showbiz, the
Celebs with a Nose for What's New
say the New High is Cocaine.
And if celebrities do it now,
everybody will be doing it soon, at
least as soon as they can afford it.
But that might result in a long
jail sentence if you're unfortunate
enough to get caught.
Pressure
politicians
From page 5
the changeover of power in Zimbabwe.
In addition, far more than we are
inclined to admit, the roots of Third
World misery lie in a combination
of unequal trade relations, international monetary policies and some
business malpractices which effectively hold poor nations in
poverty and dependence. Public
pressure on the Canadian government will have its effect. Let your
voice be heard.
WOMEN'S STUDIES
SUMMER INSTITUTE
JULY 3, 1978 to AUGUST 19, 1978
SIMON FRASER UNIVERSITY
CREDIT COURSES
WOMEN IN CANADA: 1920 TO PRESENT
DOROTHY  LIVESAY,  poet and author  of Collected Poems: The Two
Seasons, A Winnipeg Childhood, Ice Age, The Woman I Am, and Right
Hand Left Hand.
BARBARA TODD, historian and co-author of Never Done.
WOMEN AND THE VISUAL ARTS
MARIA TIPPETT, an historian and co-author of From Desolation to
Splendor: Changing Perceptions of the British Columbia Landscape and
Emily Carr: A Biography (forthcoming).
ISSUES IN WOMEN'S HEALTH AND HEALTH CARE
ABBY SCHWARZ, biologist and co-author of Our Bodies Our Selves
NON-CREDIT WORKSHOPS:
Women and Power, July 21, 22
Women as Artists, July 28, 29
PLUS:
"Varieties of Feminism" as six-evening discussion series; An exhibit of
women artists; Public Lectures.
For more information contact: Margaret Benston or Meredith Kimball,
Women's Studies Summer Institute, Faculty of Interdisciplinary Studies,
Simon Fraser University, Burnaby, B.C. V5A 1S6
Credit courses open to auditors at reduced fees.
Deadline for admission for transfer credit May 1 S.
Big or Small Jobs
ALSO GARAGES
BASEMENTS
& YARDS
732-9898
CLEAN-UP
~tlean oi     Women
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Sponsored by the AMS Women's Committee
ISRAEL PROGRAM CENTER - 266-5366
UNIVERSITY STUDENTS!!
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• Jerusalem — 1 Week
• Kibbutz - 1 Month
• Touring — 10 Special Days
■ And  More —   Do   it your way with a one year
open ticket including stop-over in Europe.
May 9th, 1978       Beat the summer rush
May 29th, 1978     cost $985*
June 25th, 1978       Cost $1085
"All prices quoted are in Canadian funds and
do not include registration fee or airport taxes
where applicable. Programmes departure dates
and prices are subject to change. Return flight
Vancouver-Montreal can be arranged for a
special $129 "add-on" fare.
ISRAEL PROGRAM CENTER
950 W. 41st Ave., Vancouver
266-5366
RAINBOW
Vancouver s most exciting disco!
In the J^AA^SW on the Harbourside 1133 West Hastings Street, Tel.689-9211
There's a lot in it
 foryou.—
To get your copy, mail or take tins coupon
to your local branch of the Bank of Commerce.
Profession
Gr.idu.mni; Year
Name
Address
Telephone Numtxr
City
Province
Postal Code
...  _..
<J>
CANADIAN IMPERIAL
BANK OF COMMERCE Page 22
THE       UBYSSEY
Friday, March 31, 1978
From page 11
Murkmind, to be their
representative.
But there were no dwarves to be
found to go with the Company.
Kathy Ford hoisted her battle axe
with such a wide swing that Brad
barely kept his Felton. "I'll go, I'll
go," she called. "Well, I'd hardly
say that you qualify as a dwarf,"
said Baugh. "A curse on pooftah
elves and their stiff necks," cried
Kathy. "I'm very nearly as short as
Ralph," she complained, until they
invited her to join them. "But
there's still only eight," said Theo
Collins. "You forgot me," said
Heather Walker, and they had to
postpone leaving until they found
her.
*****
"Look ahead," said Bruce, with
his keen elfish foresight. "There's
Lethelorlen, where we may rest
after horrors        of        the
mountain-crossing." Suddenly
Frydo felt cold hands on his neck.
"Hold, intruders, or an arrow will
pierce your heart," Heather Conn
whispered throatily in his ear. Dave
Hancock, Greg Edwards and Tim
Lindsay stepped from behind trees,
holding bows and looking very silly
in green tights. "We will take you
to the Lady of the Wood, and she
shall judge if you will travel on."
Frydo Bocking looked up at
Marta Marton, the Lady of the
Wood, and felt very small and
humble in front of such elvish
grace. "O Elbereth! O Gonorrhea!"
he slurred, and fell forward.
"You've been drinking again," said
Marta, and smiled. "Would you care
to look in my glass?"
"Not bad," slurped Frydo.
"Tanqueray?"
"No, no, you're supposed to
look at it, not drink it," she said,
and smoothed the liquid in the
crystal bowl with a pass of her
hand. Frydo looked in and
everything swam in front of his
eyes. After he had done a
technicolor   yawn    and   apologized
"for it, he looked again and saw
Robert Jordan and Tony Trivisano
back in the Pyre, and they were at
work demolishing the Spit, his
favorite bar. He cried out in anguish
and the vision was gone.
Then he saw the Thing, and the
Dark Bore, and a huge red Fly like
a slit with teeth that threatened to
swallow the world, and he saw Bob
Staley perform a strange ritual on
the quivering body ot John Lekich,
then they managed to catch him
and shoot him full of Demerol until
he recovered.
Peeping and Merriiee were at a
loss as to what to do after escaping
from George Huey and his band of
dorcs into the Untwood. Peeping
longed for another look at the
beloved Hildebrand River that
flowed by the Pyre, while Merriiee
dreamed of dancing a trim
Braunagel at the Staggering Stony
Inn In Kirkbride.
They walked up a long hill that
rose out of forest to where a single
tree perched on a shelf of rock.
They sat down to rest, and were
startled by a booming voice from
behind. "Drone, drone, very
curious indeed, drone," it said.
They looked up and saw that what
they had thought to be a tree was
really a tall, stiff druid. "Who are
you?" they cried. "Drone, drone,"
it said, "Why, I'm Michael Tree."
*****
Frydo and Tom were almost to
the land of the Dark Bore, and
Frydo could feel the weight of the
Thing around his neck. Behind
them a slimy creature was
following, snuffling and grunting
along their trail. "I'd give that nasty
Crawlum a good bop in the nose if I
could catch him," said the
ever-intrepid Tom.
"He's more to be pitied than
feared," said Frydo. "Old Baggins
and Vohanka told me about him.
He used to be a normal fun-loving
habbit just like you and me, even if
a bit larger. But he's owned the
Thing, too, and he fucked it up and
A trick
shot
When you're drinking
tequila, Sauza's the shot
that counts. That's why more
and more people are asking
for it by name.
TEQUILA SAUZA
Number One in Mexico.
Number One in Canada.
it twisted him into the Crawlum.
It's really not his fault."
"What his name before?" asked
Tom.
"Chris Gainor," answered
Frydo.
Suddenly a hand was on his
shoulder. "Be still, intruders, or an
arrow will pierce your heart," said
Maureen Curtis in his ear. "We did
this already," said Frydo. "Tell that
to Tolkien," said Maureen. "Who
are you to enter the Gonzor
province of l'll-fill-you-in?"
"I'll-fill-you-in?"
"Sure, I'll fill you in," said
Maureen. "Mike Jones is the Dark
Bore because he's the only name
that hasn't appeared yet. And he
doesn't even want the Thing. It's all
yours. Do you want it?"
Frydo Bocking thought a while.
"Maybe," he said.
•   •
GRAND OPffMING
Saturday, April 8th - Noon till 1:00 a.m.
SOFT ROCK CAFE
1921 W. 4th-731-0323
Theatre and Music — Espresso and Munchies in
an Art Gallery Setting.
25
COUPON
C GOOD FOR USE AT
SOFT ROCK CAFE
APRIL8THand9TH
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Sound Friday, March 31, 1978
THE       UBYSSEY
Page 23
IH complaints go to BoG
From page 3
internationEil students' program
committee, said it was necessary
to bring the university into the fray
because of the insensitivity of the
International House board.
"The board of directors of International House just won't discuss
this thing (the grievances), and
somehow the university has to
come in," Muller said.
"It would be very, very sad to
see these same things continue
next year."
Muller and Bokhari have
presented Kenny with a petition
asking that "a complete investigation into the present situation
existing at International House be
conducted by the board . . . (be
cause) all efforts to work through
the executive director, Colin Smith
and the chairman of the board of
directors have failed."
The petition asks Kenny to appoint a committee to handle
student activities and financial
affairs. It also requests that no employees of IH be included on the
proposed committee.
The petition was signed by 50 of
the 164 students registered with the
house.
The chairman of the IH
grievance committee told faculty
and student affairs vice-president
Erich Vogt Tuesday that Jha's
performance at the March 22
meeting was "extremely injudicious."
Write on, write on!
The Ubyssey starts its 61st year
in September, and that's the time
to come around find out about
dangling particles, split infinitives
and pizza and beer on late nights.
At the paper's annual anxiety-
crazed first week there is a great
void (absence of staff) to be filled
by news and sports writers,
photographers and headline
writers.
Because the paper appears on
Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays,
our press days are, correspondingly, Monday, Wednesday and
Thursday afternoon and evenings.
So if you plan to come in and find
out what's going on here it helps to
think about this while planning
your timetable. It's best to have a
block of several hours available
because it's hard to run to class
while a deadline haunts your story
or photo.
Travellin' on a
Shoestring?
Then you shouldn't miss the semi annual
information talk sponsored by the
Canadian Hostelling Association.
7:30 p.m., April 11, 1978
*the JERICHO HOSTEL
(foot of Discovery St.)
Admission': FREE
Canadian Hostelling Association
Association Canadienne de I'Ajisme
738-3128
Passover Seder
with
Lubavitch
Family Seder, for
Jewish students, singles,
and couples at
Chabad House,
Lubavitch Center
497 W. 39th
at Cambie St.
Cost: No charge
Seder begins at
8:00 p.m.,
April 21st and 22nd
Limited space
Call for reservations -
if unable to, come anyway'
Rabbi Wineberg/
Rabbi Fellig - 324-2400
324-2406
Egerton called for further investigations by the university into
the purposes and priorities of IH
and the policies and performances
of Smith during the present crisis.
Pan-African student leader Joe
Blell also demanded that the board
of governors deal with the situation.
"This problem must be taken to
the board so that we can see justice
being done," he said Thursday.
"If nothing is done to rectify the
problem, I may be forced to take
legal action."
Earlier this year, Blell's
nomination for an IH executive
position was blocked by Smith.
*<*,$*
*tf>£o*-
,<>>^
**&£«*
ROYAL BAN K
serving
British Columbia
TRANSFER
OF ACCOUNTS
ARRANGED
TO ANYWHERE
UNIVERSITY AREA BRANCH
Charlie AAayne, Manager
Diana AA. Kapoor, Senior Loans Officer
Brenda Flack, Loans Officer
10th at Sasamat — 228-1141
GRAND OPENING
TONIGHT
RIDGE
THEATRE
16thAYE&ARM)TlJS
738-63U
MARCH 31  THROUGH APRIL 2
w
FRIDAY
SATURDAY
SUNDAY
March 31, April 1, 2
GENERAL
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OFTHE
l&i MRAlDRE
TREASURE: 7:00,11:15
CASABLANCA:   9:30
APRIL 3 THROUGH APRIL 5
MONDAY
TUESDAY
WEDNESDAY
April 3. 4, 5 MATU R E ^^
FRANCOIS TRUFFAUT'S:
GENERAL
SHOOT THE: 7:00, 10:30
THE 400 BLOWS:   8:45
FREE PARKING - HEALTH FOOD SNACK BAR Page 24
THE       U BYSSEY
Friday, March 31, 1978
Letters
Physics group railroaded
This is an open letter to all
Physics students.
The spring general meeting of
the Physics Society now being
history, I suppose it may be a little
late to comment on this event
which, by the society executive's
apparent disregard for its own
constitutional procedures, seemed
little more than an undemocratic
charade.
The prime topic of this meeting
was constitutional change — an
important issue for any society —
however, discussion of this change
was vehemently discouraged by
the acting chairperson, Jeff Holm,
an engineering student. A number
of us came away with the distinct
impression   that   some   rather
questionable amendments had
been railroaded past us.
That expected procedure was
abused is no surprise when one
considers the Physsoc is not a
legally constituted Alma Mater
Society club, and therefore not
officially representative of Physics
students to the AMS. Physsoc is a
lounge and collection of study
carralls, dominated the past
several years by a very comfortable clique; the majority of
Physsoc members are not Physics
students in the faculty definition.
Being agreeable to dialogue and
social contact, I have nothing
against assorted associate
membership. My mind was open
until the rude awakening of this
meeting. There would seem to be
many interests to protect.
Few Physics students appear to
have anything to do with Physsoc.
Lack of information and lack of
advertising are cited. Yet the
Society executive insists that the
doors are always open to new
blood. Since there appears to be a
bit of a communications gap, I will
happily take this opportunity to
invite and encourage you to look in
upon the Society, and to become a
part of it. It sorely needs your
influence.
Their facilities are in your name,
and they are in your building. In
this regard, credit is due to the
society, for the facilities are good
ones. Use them.
Ernie Kenward
student representative to the
science faculty of physics
WANTED
EASTER SEAL CAMP COUSELLORS
AND SUPERVISORS
June-August, $400 month, 18 years or older.
MUST BE EMPATHIC, GIVING, HEALTHY
AND PREPARED FOR HARD WORK.
NON-SMOKERS PREFERRED
CALL ELEANOR VANDER SMAN
873-1865
Mini movers strike hapless driver
I had, until recently, enjoyed my
first year at UBC, but lately there
have been a small group of people
who seened to have prided
themselves in making my life
miserable (no, not the engineers).
You see, I commute to school
daily and, when it is my turn to
drive in our car pool, I drive a
comfortably small car. For some
unknown reason there are a few
people (maybe as few as two) who
have, on many occasions, moved
my car. It's not that I park it with
the brake off, it's just that they
pick it up and move it around.
I have yet to understand what
purpose they serve in doing this;
being such a small car it is no
great physical achievement to lift
the rear end (the engine is in the
front) and slide the car sideways,
sometimes jamming it in between
two other cars. It is not impossible
for me to get out as I have been
able to move it back by myself
(I'm not economy size), but I can
see where the people owning the
Senate c'tee manipulates
I was interested to read in the
March 3 issue of The Ubyssey that
the senate special committee investigating the recent student
board and senate elections had
decided to take no action on the
alleged polling irregularities
because those which could be
proven did not appear to have had
any effect on the outcome.
In other words what the committee might as well be saying is:
"better luck next time kids; do a
more thorough job of cheating and
don't get caught."
To foster an attitude such as this
is appalling. The student
representative assembly looked at
the violations which occurred
during the election and requested
senate to overturn it. Overturning
the election is the only way to clear
the air in this case. Employing a
legalist rationale in order to avoid
doing this, as the committee has
done, is merely a sophist
manipulation and an avoidance of
the facts.
Bev Currie
arts 3
PAUL MANNING SPEAKS
Liberal Candidate
Vancouver Quadra
Topic: Unemployment
TIME: Mon. April 3, 12:30 p.m.
PLACE: SUB 205
cars   beside   mine   would   have
trouble getting into their cars.
Perhaps next year I won't have
to return to the parking lot after a
hard day's work to find my car in a
different position. Perhaps the
'movers' will mature over the
summer (or is it really an expression of their jealous feelings in
their subconscious?). Perhaps
next year I'll get a truck.
victim of the
mini movers
Huge selection of Mens and Womens
Original FRYE boots and casuals
516 W.Hastings     770 Granville
AMS COMMITTEE OPENINGS
FOR 1978-79
Applications for the following committees will be received at the AMS business office.
Room 266, SUB during the month of April.
PRESIDENTIAL COMMITTEES
BOOKSTORE COMMITTEE (3 student reps)
CHARITABLE DONATIONS COMMITTEE
(4 student reps)
DAY CARE FACILITIES COMMITTEE
(1 student rep)
LIBRARY PROCESSING CENTRE COMM.
(1 student rep)
SAFETY, SECURITY & FIRE PREVENTION COMM.
(1 student rep)
MEN'S ATHLETIC COMMITTEE (1 student rep)
TRAFFIC & PARKING COMMITTEE (4 student reps)
THUNDERBIRD WINTER SPORTS CENTRE COMM.
(1 student rep)
WAR MEMORIAL GYM FUND ADVISORY
(2 student reps)
WOMEN'S ATHLETICS COMMITTEE
(4 student reps)
FOOD SERVICES COMMITTEE (4 student reps)
TEACHING EVALUATION COMMITTEE
(1 student rep)
SPECIAL COMMITTEE ON THE HANDICAPPED
AT UBC (1 student rep)
REGISTRATION COMMITTEE (1 student rep)
SHERWOOD LETT SCHOLARSHIP
SELECTION COMM. (1 student rep)
JOHN BUCHANAN MEMORIAL FUND
COMMITTEE (1 student rep)
SRA COMMITTEES
STANDING COMMITTEES
ACADEMIC
STANDARDS
COMMITTEE      (EXAC)
TEACHING        &
COMMITTEE (TASC)
EXTERNAL      AFFAIRS
WOMEN'S COMMITTEE
STUDENT HOUSING ACCESS COMMITTEE (SHAC)
PROGRAMS COMMITTEE
SPECIAL COMMITTEES
CONSTITUTION AND CODE COMMITTEE
CONSTITUENCY AID COMMITTEE
RECYCLING COMMITTEE (CRUD)
FEE REFERENDUM COMMITTEE
AD HOC COMMITTEE ON UNEMPLOYMENT
SAC COMMITTEES
Budget Committee —
2 SRA reps, 1 AMS member chosen by SRA
Elections Committee
Special Events Committee
SUB Space Review Committee
Students' Court Selection Committee
Aquatic Centre Maintenance Committee
Aquatic Centre Management Committee
These committees chosen by SAC.
Information regarding each committee is available through Room 246 SUB.
Bruce Ross
Secretary-Treasu rer Friday, March 31, 1978
THE       UBYSSEY
Pag* 25
Energy myths keep us in dark
By ROY JOHNSTONE
Canadian University Press
The latest economic recession with its
high unemployment is another indicator
that something is amiss in this great country
of ours. Trudeau would have us believe that
"the guilty people is everyone and each one
of us." But is he right?
The energy crisis is a major sysmptom of
this unhealthy state that we find ourselves
and its analysis provides an answer to the
question: Are the guilty people really you
and I?
Did we have any choice about the energy
efficiency of the place we live in? Did we
have any choice about the energy efficiency
of the place we live in? Did we really have
any choice about the type of heating system
that came with the place that we really
didn't have any choice about? Did we really
have any choice aboiit the displacement of
labor by machines which consume gross
quantities of energy? When Trudeau points
the finger at Ladco, Qualico, BACM or when
he points the finger at INCO, Falconbridge
or Shell Oil or at the federal government he
will have diagnosed the real reasons for our
present economic state.
Granted, he does have a small point. As
consumers we can save a little energy here
and there but the major inefficiencies in
energy production, distribution and consumption are related to the control big
business and big government have had over
the supply of energy in housing, transportation, agriculture and industry.
Rather than write a long monologue
documenting the collusion of government
and industry in the "energy game" I have
prepared the Energy Myths; seven lies that
have determined who pays and who profits
in the energy industry.
The first myth is that we must have increased growth in energy production and
consumption in order to maintain or increase employment.
In fact quite the reverse is true. Energy
often displaces jobs. As industry becomes
more highly mechanized energy is substituted for labor to increase profits.
Another argument against attempting to
sustain an exponential rate of energy
growth of a finite energy source (uranium
based fission or fossil fuels) is that as you
approach exhausting your supply prices will
rise exponentially.
The Ford Foundation did a study entitled
a Time to Choose which concluded that an
adjustment to a less energy intensive
economy would increase rather than reduce
employment. Why is government not investing the money that is presently being
expended on. large scale, capital intensive
projects such as hydro, nuclear, tar sands
and northern pipelines into the deployment
of energy-conserving industries and
technologies which would create considerable more jobs per dollar invested?
The losses are placing heavy burdens on the
taxpayer.
The second myth is that it is necessary to
maintain our present standard of living to
consume the quantities of energy that we
presently consume.
There are no grounds to support this
statement. North Americans waste more
energy than is used by two-thirds of the
world's population. If we reduced the
inefficiencies in energy production and distribution we could maintain the same
standard of living on half the energy we
presently consume. If we wanted to lead
more healthy and fulfilling llives we could
reduce our consumption by another half and
increase employment so that more people
would be able to live more creative and rewarding lives. Countries such as Sweden
and Germany have similar levels of Gross
National Production per person with almost
half the energy expenditure and less unemployment.
It has also been argued that the development of appropriate technologies could
transform the trivial, meaningless exploitation of human resources that presently
exists into more rewarding and creative
activities in which the participants have
identified and defined the necessity of the
work they are doing.
The third myth is that energy consumption is increasing because there are
more people.
This concept has totally ignored the great
disparity in energy consumptions between
the "haves" and the "have nots." It, in fact
is not supported by empirical data. In
Manitoba, between 1961-1971 the total
energy growth was 58 per cent while the
population only increased seven per cent. In
Canada for the same period energy growth
was 77 per cent and population growth was
19 per cent. Manitobans are increasing
energy consumption considerably faster
than the per capita national increase and for
electricity the rate is almost twice the
national average.
Evidence would indicate that the alleged
"demand" for electrical space heating has
been caused largely by the lack of an integrated Canadian energy policy and by the
promotion of "electridication" by Manitoba
Hydro. The current policy of the Manitoba
Housing and Renewal Corporation is to heat
most new public housing electrically.
Hydro has significantly contributed to
economic recession by borrowing large
amounts of capital from outside the country
to fund the capital intensive hydro projects.
A major question now is whether Hydro
will try to reduce these losses by stimulating
more electrical consumption or by increasing the electrical rates or perhaps a
combination of both. Either way you and I
will pay more and the real villans like INCO
will continue to be a subsidized.
The fourth myth is that the rich pay more
for energy than the poor.
Certainly as a percent of income this is
obviously false. This is a fact which is often
ignored when higher priced energy is used
to encourage people towards energy and
unless tax credits were provided increasing
prices for energy will only aggravate the
existing situation.
The poor subsidize the large corporations.
You and I pay considerable more per unit of
energy consumed than the large corporate
consumers. If governments are concerned
about reducing energy consumption then
high volume users should pay more not less.
The fifth myth is that nuclear energy is a
cheap, safe source of electricity.
The nuclear industry in Canada has been
stating this for many years. Recently this
statement has been challenged as critics
expose mismanagement and
misrepresentation,   technical  errors   and
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outright financial incompetence within the
nuclear industry.
Nuclear energy is the most capital intensive electric utility that has ever existed
and creates fewer jobs per dollar invested
than any other energy supply system.
In Canada the industry has received
massive tax subsidies to cover research and
development costs, rapid escalating capital
costs, losses on foreign sales (over $20
million lost on sale of CANDU reactor to
Argentina) and kickback payments to sales
agents (AECL is still trying to account for
$18 million).
Capital costs for CANDU systems have
been escalating considerably higher than
inflation costs and this doesn't include all of
the hidden costs associated with nuclear
power such as stringent security of fuels and
operating plants, decomissioning
(dismantling the reactor after its 25-30 year
lifetime) and disposal of radioactive wastes
(some wastes have to be isolated from all
living organisms for 250,000 years).
Considering these costs are nuclear plants
really worth the risks? Wouldn't the money
be better spent on energy conservation and
the development of renewable energy
resources?
The sixth myth is that we will be freezing
in the dark if we don't continue to expand the
nuclear energy program.
More likely the reverse it true. We will be
freezing in the dark if we attempt to build
nuclear plants to meet the AECL's projected
energy demand since nuclear consumes
more energy than it produces during the
building phase. If one plant is started each
successive year and it takes five years to
complete (this is a low estimate) it will be
years before there is a net output of energy.
More energy has gone into building the
plants than they have generated during this
time.
All centralized electricity generation
systems are vulnerable to blackouts and
nuclear power has even greater problems
because of the long repair time necessary in
contaminated areas. If a reactor goes down
in the winter we might find ourselves burning candles and old furniture for heat and
light. If, and I pray not, a reactor had a
major accident the devastation of people
and environment would leave the survivors
freezing in the dark.
The seventh myth is that solar energy
cannot make any significant contribution to
our energy supply for the near future.
Wood, which is a renewable form of solar
energy if well managed, is presently
providing the same primary energy as
nuclear (although not as high grade) with no
research and development investment while
nuclear has devoured over $2 million. The
present research and development
priorities of both federal and provincial
governments are skewed drastically toward
nuclear power.
If the research and development priorities
were shifted toward conservation and
renewable energy sources we would see a
dramatic improvement in the economic
viability of renewable energy sources. Page 26
THE       UBYSSEY
Friday, March 31, 1978
Letters
AMP (editor of the Pole), I would
like you to know that I feel your
letter (March 16) is one of the most
positive and uplifting outcomes of
the controversy over racism.
My letter on March 14 was not
meant to be a personal attack. I
said that the racist act was
penalized too lightly because at the
time, it just appeared as though
there were too few people who
seemed to realize that racism is
wrong, and even fewer who cared
enough to speak out against it.
My letter was meant to arouse
the conscience of those who have a
conscience. I was not trying to say,
"Look, white people, you've insulted the yellow ones." What I
was trying to say, and trying very
hard to say was, "Look, human
beings, you've hurt another human
being who is made out of the same
Editor's
letter
positive
flesh and blood tnat you are made
out of."
You have expressed in your
letter that you do not know what
people like Pat Chen and myself
want from you. AMP, your letter
shows that you have thought a
great deal about what's wrong and
what's right. That's what I want.
Your letter shows that you have
gained a greater awareness and
understanding that there is
desperate need for sensitivity to
the feelings of human beings who
may look a  bit  different  from
yourself. That's what I want.
What I want, not just from you,
AMP, but from every human
being, is respect and consideration
for oneself and for one another. If
we want to integrate and live in
harmony with each other, we can
only do so when we accept each
other on equal terms.
Finally, I would like to say that it
talces a very mature and respectable person to be able to think
about and admit his mistakes, to
apologize and face up to the consequences. Most of all, it takes a
very sound person to be able to
learn from his mistakes. AMP,
your letter has shown yourself to
be such a person.
Last of all, AMP, no hard
feelings.
Helen del Val-Lui
arts 3
Speech freedoms not helped
Your decision not to run the anti-
abortion classified advertisement
appears to have provoked some
degree of controversy. I noted with
some interest the sympathy with
the plight of a raped and subsequently pregnant woman
displayed by the anti-abortionists
responding to Megan Ellis' letter.
In the mind of every open-
minded person who also happens to
view abortion as morally wrong
there must at some time exist a
dilemma. Should she or he fight
abortion openly, resisting with
every means available each
abortion that occurs? If that
person is, as I have mentioned,
open-minded in attitude, this
dilemma will be very real.
The open-minded anti-
abortionist will believe it is wrong
to force his or her views of the
moral correctness or incorrectness
of others' actions on them.
Yet, would any morally upright
person allow a dangerously drunk
friend to sit behind the wheel of a
car, thereby perhaps endangering
the life of some innocent third
party? To the anti-abortionist,
there is at least some valid
evidence indicating the presence of
human life in the fetus, so his logic
is parallel to the logic of the person
faced with the similar dilemma I
have just mentioned.
It is not an easy question to answer. One viewpoint was presented
in that classified ad cut from your
paper. It is a valid viewpoint. One
might argue that it was presented
in an emotion-charged manner,
but, then again, every moral
question is emotion-charged in
content.
The anti-abortionists who submitted that advertisement made
Look home
February's "Chile Week" drew
attention to the human rights
violations of the Pinochet regime.
UBC students seemed to place a
great importance on the issue and
much publicity has been
generated.
The UBC Progressive Conservatives support the cause of
human rights all over the world.
What is disturbing to us, however,
is the apathetic attitude displayed
by UBC students and the general
public over certain civil rights
violations of the Trudeau government.
During the past few months this
government has threatened a
member of parliament, ignored
RCMP illegalities, and condoned
specific violations of Canadian
civil rights such as bugging and
opening mail. It seems that UBC
civil libertarians are undisturbed
by such revelations. It is time to
turn our attention to these
violations. Students of UBC should
not only be concerned with human
violations in foreign countries, but
also those in our own nation.
Pat McMurchy
Charles Henderson
UBC PCs
their own decisions regarding the
dilemma I mentioned above.
They decided to save human
lives they believe to be in existance
in the form of fetuses, and in a way
they judged would achieve their
ends. Depending on one's point of
view, one might believe their ends
to be desirable or undesirable, but
is not everyone entitled to free
speech in expressing his or her own
viewpoint?
The issue here is not one of
"offensive" or "inoffensive",
"emotion-charged" or "rational".
It is one of the basic freedoms of
expression that should not be
denied to any woman or man.
This question bears not only on
the well-being of women in extremely unsettling circumstances,
but also affects human lives, at
least in the minds of a significant
number of people who designate
themselves anti-abortionists.
These people are fighting for
what they believe to be the lives of
other human beings and must be
permitted to do so in any legal
manner they choose. If freedom of
speech is to be preserved, the press
must extend to everyone the right
to express her or his views.
Lorraine King
commerce 1
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12 a.m. to 9 p.m. Thurs. & Fri.
10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Sat.
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No. 106 - 7080 River Road, Richmond, B.C.
Turn west off No. 3 Rd. on to Cambie and turn left on River Rd. to
V.I.P. Industrial Park.
RESULTS OF THE
GRAD CLASS GIFT BALLOT
GIFT/PROJECT VOTES
Rehabilitation Medicine: Wheelchair Accessibility 816
Law Students: Legal Aid Operating Grant    732
Daycare Council: Equipment of all kinds 483
Forestry Undergrads: Habitat Totem Pole    372
Speakeasy: Redesign and Upgrading . V 345
Acadia Park Preschool: equipment 329
Thunderbird Winter Sports Centre:
Illuminated Upcoming Events Board 200
Ubyssey: Four Typewriters 173
Arts Undergrads: Buchanan Lounge Renovations 172
C.I.T.R.: Tape machine .. . 75
Forestry Undergrads: Pictorial Display 65
Grad Centre: Film Projector 46
Ubyssey: Darkroom Timer 41
1324 BALLOTS RETURNED; 11 SPOILED BALLOTS
Helping women work
A Woman's Place is a special
short-term project for the purpose
of helping women to find jobs.
Attached to the Regional Women's
Employment Coordinator of
Employment and Immigration
Canada, it is an affirmative action
project for helping women in the
work world, especially in non-
traditional areas.
A Woman's Place offers a
multitude of job related services:
focusing on a career path; interest
and aptitude  testing;   resume
writing; interview skills; accessing the job market — where
the jobs are and how to get them.
Employment counsellors are
available to provide these services
in 19 different languages to women
looking for permanent employment as well as those seeking
summer   employment.
Our permanent location is 125
East 10th Avenue and no appointment is necessary or phone us
at 666-2214.
A Woman's Place
1.50   AMS
2.00 adm. <§
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ALIYAH AND YIRIDAH
Common Problems in Cultural Integration
A Discussion With
YESHAYAHU TADMOR
KAONDAY, 3 APRIL, 12:30 P.AA
Head of the North American Desk
Israel Aliyam Centre
B.A. in Political Science and Sociology
M.A. in Education, Hebrew University
Director of Israel Television Network 1971-1973
Last Free'Lunch At Hillel House
WHEN YOU LOOK GOOD
SO DO WE . . .
PRESCRIPTION
OPTICAL Friday, March 31, 1978
THE       UBYSSEY
Page 27
Pango-Pango celebrates
its history, customs and news
By VERNE McDONALD
When descending from the sky over the
tiny island kingdom of Pango-Pango, the
weary traveller might look through the
window of Ihe luxury Sopwith Llama that
services the island and dream of lying on the
sparkling white beaches that gleam below
the South Pacific sun.
After routine customs harassment,
lovingly performed by black-uniformed
blorgs with electric cattle prods, and the
ritual island welcome, where young women
from the Pango-Pangoan Libation
Organization place bandoliers of GPMG
ammunition around one's neck, the
traveller might go out to those pristine
beaches and find that they are composed of
what the natives call schtuk, a blend of
powdered gauno and mud which can only be
washed off with diesel oil.
Getting used to little surprises like this is
half the fun of visiting this quaint kingdom
which Lord Boryn once described as "that
septic isle, land of kink."
'Land of kink'
Pango-Pango was first discovered by
Capt. Game Cock in the late 18th century
and it was from a hairy puce blorg that he
caught the historic dose of clap that would
spread from Java to the court of George III.
The great seaman, who discovered
hundreds of pasages, straits, bays, and
thousands of other orifices, would return to
Pango-Pango 20 years later only to be eaten
by the blorgs because of a fatal misunderstanding; the natives thought he had
taken the only dose they had and accused
him of stealing a sacred tribal treasure.
A decade later the mutinous crew of the
HMS Bouncy sought refuge in Pango-Pango
from the wrath of the Royal Navy. After
three days on the island the crew mutinied
again, voting to sail the 12,000 miles to
England to be hanged.
It was only when Retcher Crispin burned
the ship at Splithairn Island that the move
was thwarted.
Following this, Pango-Pango was not
visited by Europeans for more than 50
years. Then the HMS Fleagle, carrying the
famous Teutonic biologist Darls Charlatan,
put in for water.
During the ensuing six-week search,
Charlatan took time to examine the animal
life of Pango-Pango which consists almost
entirely of the hairy puce blorgs that have
inhabited the island throughout their
memory, which is very short.
Blorgs inherit
From what he learned in examining the
blorgs, he evolved his Theory of
Degeneration, which he wrote out in his
book Origin of the Feces, a document which
would cause revolt in scientific circles
everywhere.
The hairy puce blorgs, which on a good
day can be loosely termed as humanoid, are,
according to Charlatan, the end result of a
degeneration which has been going on since
the beginning of time. "The earth moves
from a virgin state of rock and water to an
ultimate and inevitable chaos of mud," he
wrote.
"When that time comes, the descendants
that have degenerated from the blorgs will
inherit the planet."
Charlatan argued that the least-
degenerated beings on earth were Northern
Europeans.
"What significant land mass on this earth
is further from Pango-Pango?" he asked,
and no one could answer. Resistance to his
theories was fierce, but a great step forward
in the acceptance of Charlatan's ideas was
taken in the famous Stoats Trial in Tennessee in the 1930s.
A teacher was acquitted on the charge of
teaching Charlatan's theories by reason of
insanity. He was then run out of town on a
rail, covered with hot soghum and cotton
bolls.
But supporters of the Theory of
Degeneration have ever since pointed out
that no one has ever been convicted in a
criminal court of believing in degeneration.
During all this time Pango-Pango
remained a backwater, its blorgs still
clinging to their tribal monarchy and their
ritualistic way of life, called funguul or
"abject misery".
Whether they were mistakingly created
that way, or are the result of natural
selection and adaption to their bizarre environment, is something that no reputable
scientist would speculate on or even care
much about.
there were more blors than trees and they
were very happy, for they could see each
other and fijihijh-hijh some more;
"But then they fikihijh-hijhed with the
trees and then they were blorgs and must
forever wear the schtuk because . . . uh, you
got a banalna?"
Though such primitive oral tradition has
no real basis in reality, the blorgs do tend to
display a rather disturbing tendency to
fornicate energetically with abandon and
anything else they come across.
The reason Pango-Pango has never risen
to take its place among the great nations of
the world, like Monaco, the Vatican and
Grand Fenwick, is chronic and catastrophic
overpopulation.
To the blorg's credit, they have designed
an acceptable system to counteract this
All agree, however, that the hairy puce
blorg is a unique form of half-life.
Pango-Pango's geography is no less
unique. The main island is comprised entirely of swamp and schtuk beaches and is
everywhere chocked with thick jungle. The
jungle, the blorgs say, is how they came to
be. According to hairy puce legend:
A puce legend:
"At first we were just blors and there
wasn't many blors at all and they all got lost
in the trees and couldn't find each other and
that was very, very bad;
"But some found each other in the schtuk
and learned how to fikihijh-hijh (screw) and
soon there was many, many blors and they
were very muddy;
"And they went back to the trees and
found their brothers and fikihijh-hijhed until
devastating excess of hairiness and puce-
ness: they kill each other off a lot.
In the times before the arrival of Europeans, this was accomplished by developing
a society of cruel, vicious, autocratic
monarchs and rebellious, violent, downtrodden slaves.
But with the arrival of civilization the
Pango-Pangoans learned of modern advances in government and were able to
change their society to one of cruel, vicious,
autocratic dictators and a rebellious,
violent, downtrodden proletariat.
As usual, the current dictator El Rotundo
has declared Pango-Pango a republic and
promised elections, a promise that was
immediately met with howls of protest from
the Pango-Pangoan Liberation Organization
and other radical left groups among the
workers who want to see the monarchy
restored.
It is in solidarity with the people and
things of Pango-Pango that The Ubyssey
always refers to it as  a  kingdom.
Pango-Pango's own newspapers, the
Daily Blorg and the Daily Blat, maintain
complete journalistic objectivity by trading
political positions each week, alternating as
government organ and people's rag.
This normally difficult game of ideological musical chairs is simple for the
Blorg and the Blat, both of them being run
from the same building owned by Soporific
Press.
For almost the entire life of The Ubyssey
(we're 60 next year, by cracky) there has
been an antique teletype, covered with dust,
in a corner of the newsroom. Its counterpart
sits in a wire office shared by the Blorg and
the Blat in the capital city of Pango-Pango
and is-that country's only regular contact
with the outside world.
This is Ubyssey News Services (UNS),
which in headier days was meant to cover
the world. Now the intrepid peripatetic in
Pango-Pango can look in at the Sporific
Press building to watch The Ubyssey
correspondent there send out his spare,
terse, short, concise, brief, cogent, succinct
stories.
There is a hum, two clicks, a bang and
finally the steady clatter of keys in the
northeast corner of SUB as the news
arrives.
It might be about El Rotundo's latest
atrocity against his people and the resulting
riots protesting the lack of blorgs killed, a
leniency which increases the misery for the
rest.
Or there might be a story from the Blorg
telling of El Rotundo's new palace, costing
600 million puks (27 million more puks if he
wants a roof put on it), along with a story
from the Blat on the plight of hairy puce
blorgs forced to live in houses that are
continually being destroyed by constant
riots and government retaliation.
Fetish speaks
Previous correspondents who have
contributed to such drivel are Shane McCune, who found the isolation so disturbing
that he sought the urban sophistication of
the Juan de Fuca News, and Chris Gainor,
who was profoundly affected by the plight
and politics of the common blorgs, but went
to work for the Sun anyway.
The greatest of all is Irving Fetish, arts 58,
who has spent most of his life in the tiny
island kingdom, and has more than anyone
else illuminated the political workings of
Pango-Pango for information-hungry
students.
I interviewed him two years ago on
Pango-Pango independence day, Feb. 29, on
a static-ridden radiophone connection that
involved six ham operators in four countries
relaying. A transcript follows:
The Ubyssey: Why have you stayed so
long in that rat-infested hole?
Fetish: Oh, you get stuck here — it's the
deserted, pristine white beaches sparkling
in the sun, I suppose — I'll never understand
where they get all that birdshit; if a bird
comes within a mile of here they eat it.
U: The blorgs?
F: The hairy puce blorgs. They are very
hairy and puce, you know.
U: I'm sorry, I missed that — could you
speak louder?
F: God knows what they live on — I've
been here off and on more than 50 years and
I never found out — each other's shit, for all
I know.
U: What's all that noise?
F: The independence celebrations.
They're executing each other so fast the
referee's having trouble keeping track of the
score.. .
U: That's horrible!
F: Oh, they love it. They have a proverb,
"better dead as a derango than alive in
Pango-Pango." Did you think they Hfee
living here?
U: What's that? What did you say?
F: That's a thirty . . .
U: I still can't . . .
F: The PLO just scored 30. . . . Pago 28
THE       UBYSSEY
Friday, March 31, 1978
Some straight talk from Julius Schmid
The purpose of this advertisement is to educate
you about venereal diseases. If you think this
subject is no concern of yours, we'd like to point out
thatVD. has reached epidemic proportions
in Canada. It cuts across all age, income, social and
educational groups. A conservative estimate is
that between 500,000 and 1 million Canadians suffer
frornVD.
What we're going to do in this advertisement is to
tell you in plain, simple language about three
of the most prevalent venereal diseases in Canada
today. What the symptoms are, the various
stages of the diseases and most important of all,
what you can do to prevent infection.
Now, if in the course of reading this advertisement, you suspect you might have some of the
symptoms described, consult your physician
immediately. The treatment is confidential and if
caught early enough the disease can be easily
treated.
GONORRHEA
This particular disease has become
rampant due to possible changing social
and sexual attitudes. Despite the most
advanced treatment methods medical
science has been unable to check the
spread of this condition.
STAGE I
Symptoms generally appear from two
to six days after exposure to the bacterium Neisseria gonorrhoea, however,
up to 20 percent of men and as high
as 80 percent of women show no symptoms at all. In the male, the usual signs
are pain when urinating and a discharge
of pus from the penis.Women are likely
to experience burning during urination, a
yellowish vaginal discharge, abnormal
menstrual bleeding, and swelling or
abscess of the Bartholin's glands at the
mouth of the vagina. (Symptoms of oral
and anal infection may include, in the
throat, a burning sensation, and, in the
rectum, burning and itching, persistent
urge to defecate, and a bloody discharge).
STAGE II
If allowed to progress untreated,
gonorrhea can produce severe
inflammation of the pelvic organs;
blockage of the Fallopian tubes
and sperm ducts and thus sterility;
gonorrheal rheumatism or arthritis;
inflammation of the heart valves;
even blindness, particularly in newborn babies.
Up until a few years ago, penicillin was
the standard treatment method, but
today, several penicillin-resistant strains
of the disease have appeared and
other, stronger drugs-tetracycline,
spectinomysin, ampicillin, amoxicillin-
must sometimes be used. Cases in which
pelvic inflammatory disease has developed may also require hospitalization.
SYPHILIS
First of all let's make one thing
clear: you can't pick up syphilis
from lavatory seats or public drinking fountains. Syphilis is transmitted
only through sexual intercourse.
STAGE I
About three weeks after sexual
relations, a lesion called a chancre
(pronounced "shanker") develops
at the site-usually the genitals or
mouth-and nearby lymph nodes
become enlarged. The chancre
itself disappears within four to six
weeks.
STAGE II
If syphilis is left untreated, more
lymph nodes eventually become
enlarged and a spotty red rash
appears over most of the body.
During this stage, fever, weight
loss, general weakness, loss of
appetite and headaches are
typical. After several months, the
rash subsides and syphilis enters
a latent period lasting months
or even years.
STAGE III
Blindness, insanity, impotence,
heart disease. 	
Children born to syphilitic
mothers are also infected. The
earliest sign is sniffing, after which
sores appear on the skin and the
mucous membranes, and the
disease starts to progress as in adults.
If caught early enough, syphilis
can be easily treated with penicillin.
Other antibiotics such as tetracycline, erythromycin, or chloramphenicol are also used.
GENITAL HERPES
This sexually transmitted disease was
almost unknown until the late sixties. About
95 percent of all cases are due to infection
with herpes simplex virus II, a virus affecting
only the genital areas; while another 5 percent result from infection of the genital area
with herpes simplex I, the cold-sore virus.
STAGE I
In women, tiny, painful blisters resembling
oral cold sores appear on the labia, cervix
or anus/Symptoms in men include similar
lesions on the penis or anus, accompanied by
burning urination and watery penile discharge.
Fever is a possibility in both sexes.
Within a day or so the blisters break, then
form round, grey-white patches which
generally heal spontaneously within two weeks.
This may be the end of the problem, or genital
herpes may reappear periodically as cold
sores often do.	
STAGE II
A possible serious complication:
recent studies suggest that herpes II
may play a role in the development
of cervical cancer. The virus is reported
to be present in 36 percent of cervical
cancer patients, and parts of the herpes
II virus have been extracted from cervical cancer cells. Because of this, women
who've been infected should be especially
careful to have regular Pap tests.
No totally effective cure for herpes exists.
While some gynecologists paint the infected
area with gentian violet, others maintain this
treatment doesn't work. However, a promising new antiherpes drug, adenine arabinoside
(Ara-A) is being tested and may soon be
approved for general use.
AND HOW TO
PREVENT
CONTRACTING
THEM.
There are only two methods of avoiding
the risk of contracting V.D.
1. Refrain from sexual relations.
2. Use a prophylactic during intercourse.
Use of the prophylactic is the only method
officially recognized and accepted as
an aid in the prevention of transmission of
venereal disease. Besides being a disease
preventative, prophylactics are one of the
oldest and more effective means of birth
control known and the most popular form
used by males.
And we'd like to introduce you to six of the
best brands of prophylactics that money
can buy.They're all made by Julius Schmid.
They're all electronically tested to assure
quality and dependability. And you can only
buy them in drug stores.
K/\iV0L3 Regular (Non-
Lubricated) & Sensitol (Lubricated). A tissue
thin rubber sheath of amazing strength.
Smooth as silk, light as gossamer, almost
imperceptible in use. Rolled, ready-to-use.
FOUREX
"Non-Slip" Skins-
distinctly different from rubber, these
natural membranes from the lamb are specially processed to retain their fine
natural texture, softness and durability.
Lubricated and rolled for added convenience.
.31   I LI i\Sensi-Shape (Lubricated)
& Regular (Non-Lubricated). The popular priced, high quality reservoir-end rubber
prophylactic. Rolled, ready-to-use.
NuRxm
Sensi-Shape
(Lubricated) & Sensi-Shape (Non-Lubricated). The "better for both" new, scientifically developed shape that provides greater
sensitivity and more feeling for both
partners. Comes in "passionate pink." Rolled,
ready-to-use.
r
If you would like some free samples of
below and we'll send you everything in
Name	
our products, fill in the coupon
a plain envelope.
1
EXCiTfl
Gently ribbed and
Address.
Prov..
.RC.
JULIUS SCHMID
OFCANADALIMITED
RO. Box 66, Station O,
Toronto, Ontario M4A 2M8.
sensi-shaped to provide "extra pleasure for
both partners!' Sensitol lubricated for
added sensitivity. Also in "passionate pink."
Rolled, ready-to-use.
Fiesta
Reservoir-end prophylactics in an assortment of colours. Sensitol
lubricated for added sensitivity. Rolled,
ready.-to-iise.
L Friday, March 31, 1978
THE       UBYSSEY
Pag* 29
UBC part of right-wing revival
as students try harder for fewer fobs
By KATHY FORD
North America continued its alarming rightward lurch in
the last year, and UBC, never eager to go against the
crowd, was part of the right-wing drift.
While conservatism is an understandable response
among poorly-educated people, UBC students aren't
generally poorly-educated — although the Social Credit
party seems determined to make them more so. Thus it is
doubly alarming that UBC students proved as conservative
as they did.
The RCMP probes, Maggie Trudeau, Francis Fox, Anita
Bryant and Anwar Sadat's so-called peace initiative all
made the front page this year, but the one news story that
made the deepest impression on UBC students was the fact
that nine per cent of Canadians are looking for work.
Unfortunately, almost all UBC students think the solution
is to try harder for the few jobs there are.
In the rest of the country, of the world for that matter,
students seemed to care more about what they will face
when they leave the inner sanctum.
But at good old UBC, we saw students playing the game of
"blow you, Jack, I'm all right", as they scrambled for
better marks than their peers, frantically trying to get that
worthless bit of paper quickly as they could.
And because getting good grades doesn't ensure a white
collar job, (which is viewed by most people as desirable,
let's face it), we might as well raise a ruckus about what
those people we have elected to "serve" us are actually
doing to us.
This year saw a decline in the quality of education offered
to UBC Students. Despite fflMH»- hn»*1 wnrt »rai'ro Hnincr an
uncomplainingly,
10, or even fiveg
government's
turn a
-at be
radT
hard work you're doing so
tie vorth less than it was
to the Social Credit
on anything that doesn't
cent tuition fee increase forced on us
policies at the end of last year, there
ceable decline in enrolment,
rift didn't increase by much either and that has the
inistration worried. This became obvious with the
release of a report by administration president Doug Kenny
calling; for faculties to prepare to deal with a steady-state
university — one where enrolment doesn't increase.
It became even more obvious when Kenny began making
public statements strongly condemning the Socred's
education policies and defending the importance of the
universitv in tfcio rv>mmnnifv.
And it became obvious at the same time that we were in
deeper trouble than we thought when Kenny drew little
response from the government.
Still Kenny's move was one of the positive things that
happened this year. There were others.
For example, although students seemed unconcerned
about unemployment and the quality of the education they
are supposedly getting here, many of them did take the
time to write us letters about almost everything
imaginable. We got more letters than ever before and
printed as many as possible.
We think those letters repersent something important —
you do care about things. And those things were interesting
because they included human rights, racism, sexism and
religion.
The Lady Godiva ride this year was responsible for a
great deal of meil. More people were thinking about the
issue of sexism and this made for some interesting dialogue
on the letters page.
Another issue that was discussed on the letter page was
the South Africa banking issue.
And this was one issue where people's actions achieved
something. Interestingly, it was one of the pillars of the
capitalist society that brought about the action.
The church, after centuries of preaching love and
tolerance but doing little to promote it, took a solid stand
against Canadian banks' involvement in the apartheid state
of South Africa.
A handful of Christians at UBC talked and wrote a little-
known issue into a major cause and were instrumental in
getting the Alma Mater Society to remove most of its
money from the Bank of Montreal, one of the banks that
invest in South Africa.
And the Church has also waged a vociferous campaign
against UBC's investments in corporations such as
Noranda which have poured millions of dollars into Chile,
home of a repressive dictatorship.
Unfortunately, the university, supposedly a bastion of
freedoms and enlightenment, has not seen fit to get rid of its
tainted stocks but passes the buck from one legal advisor to
another. So much for enlightenment.
This year, we also got many letters from Chinese students
protesting a racist issue of a residence newsletter. This is
significant because it shows that Chinese students, finally
feel enough a part of this white-dominated community to
protest when they are insulted.
International students also became vocal, protesting the
alleged arrogance and insensitivity of the director of International House, Colin Smith. These students have
another battle to join, though, with the federal government's new, restrictive policies regarding students in the
country on visas.
Those were the positive things. There are probably more.
One area that also reflected the right-veering trend on
campus was student leadership, such as it is. Our elected
student government was competent. But that's all.
Although the executive was energetic and came up with
some good ideas occasionally, it was thwarted by an
apathetic group of student representatives.
The one major blunder (we'll ignore the lesser ones) of
the outgoing student government was its handling of the
board of governors and senate elections.
Despite obvious irregularities, the senate decided the
elections were valid and the assembly, which had done all
the right things until then did nothing.
After going to senate and saying there were irregularities
and after recommending there be a new election, your
"leaders" sat meekly back and accepted senate's easy-
way-out decision without even a whimper.
Is this why we fought so long for student representation?
If Stan Persky were dead, he would be turning in his grave.
We should have screamed "bloody murder".
So, have a good summer, enjoy being unemployed and
come back ready to take on the responsibility of being a
student. That means you're supposed to try to change
things.
The GOS might be dead, but that doesn't mean we
shouldn't try to salvage the 70s, what's left of them.
EUROPE
VANCOUVER
LONDON
MAY 14
-AUG. 16      -
$429
MAY 14
- SEPT. 5
429
MAY 31
-JULY 18      -
439
MAY 31
-AUG. 16
439
JUNE   6
- SEPT. 4
489
JUNE 29
- SEPT. 1
519
VANCOUVER - AMSTERDAM
MAY 21 - AUG. 23 - $479
JUNE 23 -SEPT. 1 - 509
JUNE 30     -AUG. 25      -   509
$30 REDUCTION on many other flights to
Amsterdam and Frankfurt, see C.U.T.S. for full
details of all flights available.
BOOK AT LEAST 45 DAYS AHEAD
The above Advance Booking Charter flights are
approved by the Canadian Transport Commission.
$50 non-refundable deposit is payable on booking,
with balance payable 45 days before departure.
Ask about Fare Protection Insurance. Not
included: $8 Canadian transportation tax.
NEW ZEALAND
The New Zealand Work Exchange is a programme that
A.O.S.C. offer in conjunction with the New Zealand
Universities Student Association (NZUSA). Fifty successful
applicants will be provided with work permits in New
Zealand for a 3-month period. May 15 to August 20.
COST: From Vancouver $946.00
DEPARTS: May 15, 1978
RETURNS: August 20, 1978
Cost Includes:
* Return   air    transportation    from    Vancouver   and
return
* Work permits
* Orientation programme in Canada and New Zealand
* Information on job opportunities in New Zealand
* 1  night's accommodation in Auckland upon arrival
Eligibility:
This programme is open to full-time students enrolled
at member colleges and universities of A.O.S.C.
AUSTRALIA AND NEW ZEALAND)
SP1 MAY   7
SP2 MAY 15
SP3 JUNE 30
SP4 JUNE 30
SP5 JULY   1
SP6 JULY   9
SP7 JULY 30
JUNE 26
AUG. 20
JULY 30
AUG. 25
AUG. 1
AUG. 6
AUG. 27
50      SYDNEY
AUCKLAND $846. SYDIMFY SSBfW + tax.
AUCKLAND or SYDNEY
SYDNEY
SYDNEY
SYDNEY
AUCKLAND
SYDNEY
BUDGET
STANDBY FARES
Seattle to:
LONDON   From $202.00 (U.S.) one way *
From $355.00 (U.S.)    return*
BANGKOK   From $399.00 (U.S.) one way
HONG KONG   From $349.00 (U.S.) one way
SINGAPORE   From 439.00 (U.S.) one way
Around the World
Standby
Reservations
$999.00 (U.S.)
$1199.00 (U.S.)
San Francisco Los Angeles
to:
AUCKLAND*
NANDI
PAGO PAGO
PAPEETE*
SYDNEY*
$349 one way
289 one way
239 one way
219 one way
389 one way
-Subject to government approval. Ask CUTS for
full details about the above and other discount
fares.
SAILING
Depart Montreal
(on the Alexander Pushkin)
May 25       June 24      Sept. 25
"THE ONLY WAY TO CROSS." It's cheaper than you think. Rates are based on students sharing a
4-berth cabin and include all meals, the usual shipboard activities — in fact just about everything
except alcohol — and it's duty free. Port taxes and gratuities are not included.
«       l?"E?..N-?7YO*        . To: Prices*(U.S.)     Crossing Time
(ontheM,kha.lLermontov) Le Havr8 $2gQ 8 days
June 3 September 6 London 305 9 days
Bremerhaven 320 10 days
Eligibility: Student sailings are available to full-time students in possession Leningrad 365 14 days New York Departure tax: $4.50; Montreal: $2.50.
of an International Student Identity Card.
♦Westbound Sailings Also Available at the Same Prices
Disembarkation Tax:  Le Havre $10.00; London $9.00; Leningrad   $2.00
C.U.T.S
B.C. Government Registration Number 233-2
CANADIAN UNIVERSITIES
TRAVEL SERVICE LIMITED
Student Union Building, Room 100P,
Phone (604) 224-0111
STUDENtRAIL/EURAIL PASSES - BRITRAIL PASSES
CAR RENTALS, LEASES    TOURS
INTERNATIONAL STUDENT IDENTITY CARD
STUDENT FLIGHTS TO THE FAR EAST, INDIA,
AFRICA AND WITHIN EUROPE Page 30
THE        UBYSSEY
Friday, March 31, 1978
Bureaucracy
up for grabs
Ever have that strange desire to
be part of the bureaucracy instead
of being screwed up by it?
Well, the Alma Mater Society
has just the job for you. The
positions of ombudsperson,
teaching and academic standards
commissioner, student housing
administrator,      and      programs
Hot flashes
commissioner still have to be
filled to replace out-going AMS
hacks.
Interested persons should
contact AMS secretary-treasurer
Bruce Ross in SUB 246. Not only
will you receive $200 a year, but
you will also get to chair
meetings.
Remember, bureaucracy is
Canada's favorite past-time.
Low school
If you're looking for something
to do (forget those idiotic papers
and studying for exams, it's too
late anyway) the Vancouver
People's Law School has an
interesting course  next week.
Immigration Procedures is the
title of one course which will run
Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday
from 7:30 to 9:30 p.m. at the
Mount Pleasant Neighborhood
House, 535 East Broadway.
THE COLLISION SPECIALISTS
COMPLETE AUTO
BODY REPAIRS
ALL MAKES & MODELS
COURTESY CARS AVAILABLE
INTERCONTINENTAL
WHOLESALE AUTO BROKERS LTD.
669-3213
1630 MAIN (1 Block from C.N. Station)
USED
HONDA
CARS
FOR SALE
'Tween
classes
TODAY
CSA
Lecture  on   four  years of teaching
and   studying in  China,  noon, SUB
205.
LE CLUB FRANCAIS
Les    elections    pour    membres    du
comite de I'annee prochaine, diner
final     samedi,     midi,     la     maison
Internationale.
UBC HANG-GLIDING CLUB
General meeting, noon, SUB 215.
BAHA'I CLUB
Informal  talk  on the Baha'i  Faith,
noon, SUB 115.
WOMEN'S COMMITTEE
Women's committee meeting, noon,
SUB 130.
VANCOUVER SCHOOL
OF THEOLOGY
Open   house,   all   day,   night,   VST
residence.
SUNDAY
ORIENTEERING ASSOCIATION
OF B.C.
Open  event,   suitable for  beginning
and experienced        orienteers,
registration    10-11    a.m.,    U.    Hill
secondary school playing field.
HAVE A DRY SUMMER
Invest in some
RAINWEAR
at the Backpackers/Travellers
Specialty Shop
OPERATED BY THE CANADIAN
HOSTELLING ASSOC.
VANCOUVER
1406 W. BROADWAY
VICTORIA
720 YATES ST.
738-3128
383-2144
penci|ce
Imported Drum Dutch
Blend Cigarette Tobacco,
blended in Holland.
For people who take the time to roll their own
THE CLASSIFIEDS
RATES:   Campus - 3 lines, 1 day $1.50; additional lines 35c.
Commercial v 3 lines, 1 day $2.50; additional lines
50a Additional days $2.25 and 45c.
Classified ads are not accepted by telephone and are payable in
advance. Deadline is 11:30 a.m., the day before publication.
Publications Off ice. Room 241, S.U.B., UBC, Van., 8;C. V6T 1W5
5 — Coming Events
SUNRISE     IN     MARGUERITA-VILLEl
AUS/SUS Coproductions proudly entices everyone to a grand Mexican
fling — featuring your favorite distilled cactus beverage. Aribail See
you in Buchanan Lounge 4 p.m.-10
p.m. Friday March 31 Gringos. '
COME   TOGETHER   FREE at the',
year end  disco.   SUB  ballroom.
P.m. tonight.  AMS I.D.  required.
10 — For Sale — Commercial
ORGANICALLY GROWN Okanagan fruit
and vegetables. Wholesale prices in
bulk. Free delivery. 738-8828.
11 — For Sale — Private
AKAI MUD reel to reel tape deck. Au-
tomatic reversing, glass and crystal
ferrite heads, $275. 34 reels of tape,
mostly memorex 1800', 2400', S160.
Phone Richard, 732-0648.
NIKON F2 (black body). 3 lenses (28/15;
50/1.4; 89/1.8), 13 filters, DL-1 illumin-
ator, case, cable release, other accessories, $950, O.B.O. Call Colin, 228-
6111 or 731-5503.
20 — Housing
SINGLE RESIDENCE ROOMS ale available for occupancy on April 1st. Why
not study for exams on campus?
Contact Student Housing Office Monday-Friday 8:30 a.m.-4:30 p.m. in the
Ponderosa Building.
30-Jobs
TRAVEL
THE MAGIC TRIANGLE
VANCOUVER-WHITEHORSE
-YELLOWKNIFE
Guys & Gals
Field Workers and Jr. Executive
management training and
experience, in marketing and
promotion.
Above average to
HIGH INCOME
WIN $1,000. SCHOLARSHIPS
$1,000. PRODUCT PRIZES
WIN: A NEW HONDA CIVIC
734-4044 9:00 a.m.-4:00 p.m.
Part time work available
during the year.
 Student Summer Work
UBC PROFESSOR, able to stammer
some French, wants one-hour conversations with native Francophone stu-
detn, two or three times weekly. May
through July. Six dollars per hour.
Slust be willing to talk, answer questions about French, listen, and above
all, correct errors. If topics of conversation can include philosophy, tent
mieux.  Phone  228-9442 or 228-4050.
WANTED: Female vocalists to sing
backup and some lead vocals with a
50's rhythm and blues group. Phone
John, 224-9684.
35 — Lost
GEOMORPHOLOGY AND SOILS library
books, a partially completed essay,
travel bag, and a green pillow from
the biology building in November.
Don W., 224-9864.
40 — Messages
BIG A (little u) due to our mental instability of lounge behaviour, we submit to your fetishes (S-M). Show no
mercy. The Guys. P.S. Bring whip,
no shet ducks'.'Profound!!
MITCH, WHERE ARE YOU? Why don't
you give me a call? Don't have your
number, David.
65 — Scandals
60 — Rides
WILL BE TRAVELLING to Williams
Lake via Anderson Lake approximately April 22. Will have room for two
passengers, non-smokers preferred.
Reply to Box 40, The Ubyssey, Room
241, SUB., Vancouver, B.C. V6T 1W5
giving phone number and time available for contact on the evening of
20th April.
REGARDE FORT BIEN LE CIELI Entre
les etoiles *** Dieu a ecrit ton nom tu
me marque incroyablement: je garde
mes. chers souvenirs, je t'aime hors
de doute.
FJ_Iike magic, Subfilms is STILL
only   75c,   presenting
:jBakshl's "Wizards" this week-
will be checked at
A.U.S.
and
ita - VlBe.
Buchanan
yon to come
wrer Marguer-
t,   4-10   p.m-
BUTTOCKS can be danced off tor free
tonight. SUB ballroom, 8:00 p.m.
AMS I.D. required. Yours courtesy
of CITR UBC Radio FM-Cable 89.5
AS YOU GO OUT INTO LIFE remember
it may have been because of Gertrude Stein.
AGENTS 009 & 007 of The Secret Detective Brownmale Agency are watching you. So pay your ransom.
70 — Services
RESUMES — Resumes and letters of
application prepared specifically for
your career choice. Phone 689-8014.
85 — Typing
PROFESSIONAL TYPING on IBM Selectric. Thetis, essay, etc. Kit* area.
Standard rates. Phone Lynda, 733-
0647.
TYPING ESSAYS, THESIS from legible
copy. Fast, efficient service. 1&1g"T,'i
French, Spanish. 324-9414.
TYPING — 75c per pace. Fast and m>
curate by experienced typist. Gordon,
ew-sws.
FAST, accurate typist will do typing at
home. Standard rates. Please phone
anytime, 263-0086.
TYPING DONE. My home. Reas. rates.
IBM Selectric typewriter. Peggy,. 225-
9797.
PROFESSIONAL TYPING on IBM eor-
recting typewriter by experienced
Secretary. Reasonable.  224-1567.
EXPERT TYPING of thesis, term papers, manuscripts, etc. Fast and accurate, experienced. 734-3170, Irene.
TYPING — Very fast and terribly accurate. Thesis, term papers, essays.
Reasonable rates. Ann, 738-1518.
FAST, EXPERT TYPINO. dose to
pus.  Phone: 224-2437.
FAST   EFFICIENT   TYPING   near   41tt
and Marine. 266-5053.
99 — Miscellaneous
TAYLOR BAY LODGE, Gabriola Island.
Enjoy comfortable accomodations,
good food — good vibes. Weekend
Special: S33 for two includes overnight stay, dinner Saturday, Sunday
breakfast. For reservations pleas*
call  247-9011.
DELIVER YOUR CAR to Eastern Prov^
inces. English couple, graduate students, returning home. Gladly drive
trans-Canada after May. USA. considered. Terms negotiable. Richard,
224-9073.
TO RENT — Deluxe WaiWki condos.
Ocean view, sleeps six, two blocks
from beach. 921-9150. Avail. April 1st
=jp=Jf=jr=Jr=ir=Jr=lr=Jf=Jr=ii=li
USE
UBYSSEY
CLASSIFIED
TO SELL - BUY
INFORM Friday, March 31, 1978
THE       UBYSSEY
Page 31
Af Ridge Theatre
Non - violent movies and health food
By GRAY KYLES
The Ridge Theatre changes its
management and policy tonight
after serving the Famous Players
chain for years as a first-run movie
house.
Two young Vancouver entrepreneurs are taking over the
theatre and will establish what
they call Vancouver's only alternative cinema.
Allen Stevens and Leonard
Schein are optimistic that they will
be able to attract enough large
crowds to Arbutus and 16th to keep
the big theatre open and to turn it
into a viable independent cinema.
Since the demise of both City
Nights and the Renoir theatres last
year Vancouver has been lacking
an alternative to the Odeon and
Famous Players theatre chains.
The only other English language
movie house in town, the Hollywood, has been programming
double bills for years but the
emphasis lias always been on
American second-runs.
Stevens and Schein plan to offer
double bills that are thematically
co-ordinated and that will appeal to
a broad cross section of society.
"I would enjoy nothing more
than to walls into the theatre and
see some 18-year-old freak watching Casablanca for the first time
sitting beside an older person who
has come to see it again," said
Stevens recently.
Casablanca will share the
opening bill with John Huston's
TTie Treasure of the Sierra Madre
tonight and will run for three days.
Francois Truffaut's Shoot the
Piano Player and the 400 Blows
will then move in for a four-day
run.
Stevens and Schein want to try to
bring back the days of twice-
weekly double bills made up of
films that can be enjoyed by all age
groups.
For the coming weeks they've
booked programs by Hitchcock,
the Marx Brothers, Greta Garbo,
Mae West and Ingmar Bergman.
They'll also feature classic
comedies, mysteries and foreign
films.
"There are alternative theatres
in every major American city and
most large cities in Canada,"
Stevens said. "If Bellingham can
support one (The Picture Show)
then I'm certain Vancouver can
too."
"We will only book films that
don't glorify violence and we won't
show sexist or racist pictures. This
will be a real alternative to much
of what's currently on release."
Stevens is obviously talking
about overt racism and sexism
such as that found in films like
Mandingo or Semi-Tough and not
the more subtle varieties found in
many of the films he has already
booked, for example the opening
bill.
The Ridge will also be the only
theatre in Canada that will sell
only natural foods.
"Instead of sugary chocolate
bars and syrupy pop you'll be able
to get tasty nutritious foods,"
Stevens said. "We'll still sell popcorn but it will be freshly popped.
All refreshments will be sold for
the same retail price that you
would pay in a store. We intend to
forego the customary theatre
markup."
What that adds up to is the
cheapest movie deal in town with
an admission price of only $2.50
and refreshments ranging from 25
to 60 cents.
In addition to the good films and
cheap prices there are other
aspects of the new Ridge which
should appeal to many university
students.
Schein and Stevens will encourage   local   artists   and   art
students to exhibit their works in
the lobby. And they have promised
that all proceeds from any sales
will go to the artists.
Local musicians are invited to
perform before the show on a pass-
the-hat basis and filmmakers may
be able to show their short films.
Anyone interested in such activities should call or write Stevens
or Schein at the theatre.
The Ridge is the only theatre in
town with a crying room which
means you can save the cost of a
babysitter  and see  the  picture
without disturbing anyone else.
There are also earphones for the
hard of hearing and a special
section in the middle f the theatre
designed for wheelc'   rs.
Free parking is al.- > available.
"We intend the theatre to be
community-based and oriented,"
Stevens said.
"There will be a suggestion box
in the lobby and we'll try to bring in
as many of the films that are
suggested as possible.
"At this point the Ridge can do
anything;   we'll   play   Canadian
films if they're good, maybe have
festivals and live shows and who
knows what else. The future is wide
open." .
"The future" is one year at this
point. Stevens and Schein, who
have had previous cinema
management experience in Los
Angeles and Saskatoon, have
leased the Ridge from Famous
Players for one year.
If things go well under the new
format, these two ambitious new
exhibitors could enliven the local
movie scene for many years to
come.
SCENE FROM CASABLANCA will be played again, Sam
ATTENTION ALL STUDENTS
THOSE GRADUATING THIS TERM
ASK US ABOUT
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TRANSFER OF YOUR ACCOUNT TO A CONVENIENT
BRANCH OF THE "COMMERCE" AT NO COST TO YOU
(WE HAVE MORE OFFICES IN CANADA THAN ANY
OTHER BANK)
THOSE WHO PLAN TO RETURN TO U.B.C. THIS FALL
ASK US ABOUT    -  LOANS FOR TEMPORARY ASSISTANCE
-  THE ADVANTAGES OF LEAVING A BALANCE IN
YOUR ACCOUNT
<!>
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