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UBC Publications

UBC Publications

The Ubyssey Jan 5, 2001

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Array \yjrf* AlYhivOaSOlitli
THE UBYSSEY
io.nuo.ry  5,  2aal
volume   82     iSSue   24
amiqane!   Since   1918
'S(
a Special  iSSue or   aame$, conte9T8» ana
scaye^er fcujtt oji rfce back pa^el *>C '?o.
• ••
.Mitt
;•.. >v,vj^ s 2-1 j? j 9ame5 .iks ^
•••••••••••• ^j "^ ••••••••
ike utySSey activity tool
• •	
CLASSIFIEDS
ilH
DOCTORS WIFE N/S SEEKS
QUIET BRIGHT WEST SIDE 1 BR
APT. 250 615 6036.
TALENTED PR PERSON with sociable
inhibited wir to attract members to the
Inside Supper Club. Good hourly wage
plus commission. Call Bill @ 742-2233
bcw 2-4.
B.C.S COOLEST PARTY LINE!!!
DIAL: 25-Part_/, Ads'Jokes'Stories &
MORE! Free Call!* 18+ 'Try it NOW!!!
CALL FOR PAPERS - "The Seed", the
UBC undergraduate Journal of Canadian
subjects from the disciplines in the
humanities and Social Sciences for the
Spring 2001 issue. For more info contact, Canadian Studies Student Association, Box 15 SUB, 6138 SUB Blvd. V6T
1Z1, cansrudiesassn@hotmail.com, dead-
tine: Jan 19,2001.
tiftTMtMl
NEED HELP WITH YOUR ESSAY?
PROOFREADING, COMPOSITION,
TYPING. Call 734-6930
To place
a\\(jtld or
Classified,
call 822-1654
or visit
S<U@ <foom 245.
CLASSIFIEDS
STUDENTS!
Looking for a
roommate?
Got something
tosell?
Or just have an
announcement to
It you are a student
wucartpiaco
classifieds lor FREE!
for more information, visit
Room 245 in the SUB
7   orcall822-1654.
Win tickets tl see ail
advancelse^
Do any of
the games
on Page S of
this issue of
The Ubyssey
and bring
a completed
puzzle to
SUB Room 848
to win!
No purchase necessary
while supplies last.
UBYSSEY
giveaway
Ubyssey Publications Society
2001 board of Directors Elections
The Ubyssey Publications Society is the organisation responsible for publishing UBC's official student newspaper, The Ubyssey. Its membership consists of all UBC students who have not opted out of membership by
completing an opt-out form. Members are eligible to run for, and vote in, Board Elections.
The Board of Directors oversees the administrative and business aspects of the paper including advertising,
marketing, distribution, the budget and finances, meetings of the Society, and management of employees.
The Board is not, however, involved in the editorial aspects of the paper. The editorial policy and content of
the paper is determined by the editorial board of the paper, elected by the staff in March of each year. To
become a staff member, those interested need to contribute to three issues of The Ubyssey and attend regular
staff meetings in order to get voting rights and the right to run for an editorial position.
Term is February 2001 to February 2002. Directors attend approximately 20 Board Meetings through the year
in addition to serving on the Board Committees. No previous experience with newspapers or the UPS is
required.
The positions up for election are THE PRESIDENT and 4 DIRECTORS AT LARGE.
Nomination forms are available at the Ubyssey Business Office, SUB 245. Completed forms must be returned
by 4:00pm, Tuesday, January 9th, 2001.
Elections will be held in conjunction with the AMS elections January 15th to 19th, 2001.
For more information, contact Fernie Pereira at 822-6681. trie uby^Sey acTjvity tooL
Fun and fameS frty^s.^-
§J * •••••••••••
We've lost our will to live
or, Why January is the cruellest month
Ever wondered what happens to the
short, dorky-looking kids in high
school who shuffle from class to
class followed only by a strange
odour? The kids who wear capes?
What happens is they grow up and
gravitate to the Registrar's Office at
UBC, where they devise cruel ways
of enacting revenge against the
world and whatever gods made
them short and dorky-looking. They
toil away to make the Registration
Guide unintelligible and scheme to
make sure you have a class first
thing Monday morning and another
one Friday afternoon. And this year,
they made you come back to school
on January 2. Tha day after New
Year s, One week before anyone eke
in the country. Some brainiae probably got a raise for that one.
The point is that no one wants to
be here. Not you, not your crotchety
old chemistry profc not that TA in
Psych who spent all last term trying
to pick you up until you wrote a shitty term paper and then he dropped
your sorry ass for the smartypants
in the front row, and certainly not
us.
So, in the interest of easing into
the term nice and slow, we here at
the Ubyssey have thought up some
■fun and games to help get you
through the crushing reality of math
class at 8:30am. And it'll even keep
your throbbing head dry as you run
through the rain. And prizes. Lots of
prizes.       ■ • ■ ■
So get out your scissors and
crayons, sharpen your pencils, and
get going. And don't forget to get a
head start on the scavenger hunt
Oh, and don't worry about missing out on the news. Well be back on
Tuesday with ail the usual news,
sports, and culture. Until then, here's
something to keep you busy, ♦
QkeM 'Malt/m!
UBC President Martha Piper tends to
look a little drab and dowdy in the
dreary winter months. So we've given
her some new outfits*
Fashion—Think About It!
&tan4€f* Wet/cell
*. '. j,     v*^<st|ifi'tiifa»ff
€AeelJeadel!
THE GAME FDR CAREER STUDENTS
Everyone knows it's just
dumb luck that determines when you actually
graduate.
So roll the dice to see who
finishes university first,
you or your roommate.
All you need to get your
diploma is dice and some
game pieces from your old
Snakes and Ladders set
May the best student win!
START HERE-
You're a89
teacher's
pet, go
ahead to 93
80
Bl
You lost youi
notebook, go
badto $4
92
S3
Group M
projects
suck, go
bad to 63
96
96
87
Lecture is
boring, go
bad to 66
98
You have six
finals, go
bad to 77
wlrmgoi
88
Essay on
DNA, gp
bad to 38
87
Prof, marks
hard, go
bad to 67
86
SB
Homework,
go bad to
40
84
83
82
81
80
78
No final
exami go
ahead to 95
78
67
68
Teacher69
marks easy,
go ahead to
86
70
n
72
73
74
75
It's raining,
go back to
46
76
77
66
66
You sat by a
genius, .jo
ahead to 96
64
Class on the
beach, go
ahead to 93
63
62
61
You slept in,
go bad to
21
60
69
58
Bus is late,
go bad to
44
57
56
No parking,
go bad to
28
It's Fridayf
go ahead to
S9
46
47
You rode
your bike, go
ahead to 76
48
48
If s Monday,
go bad to
10
50
51
62
S3
54
SS
u
43
You fell42
asleep in a
lab, go bad
to 19
No   41
homework,
go ahead to
83
40
39
38
Your 37
textbook was
stolen, go
bad to 2
36
Easy essay
topic, go
ahead to 86
35
34
23
24
2S
26
27
Snowstorm,
go ahead to
59
28
29
30
31
32
Pop quiz,
go bad to
11
33
22
Teacher
strike, go
ahead to 60
21
20
19
18
You took'7
good notes.
go ahead to
43
16
You blew up
the lab, go
bad to 6
IS
. Guest
lecturer, go
back to 8
14
In-class
movie! go
ahead to 31
13
12
Bus on time!
go ahead to
48
i
WELCOME
TO UBC
2
Your used3
book is hi-
lited, go'
ahead to 38
4
S
6
You aced a
lab exam, go
ahead to 17
T
8
Field trip! *
go ahead to
181
10
n
t January 5. 2o«lV
Fun ana' ^ame$
'i\JV|Jo
icifvliy hook
|. take \ %\zrt ov
Z. FolS> |T
BAcKwftfcfc...
2. Fold \t
tefltW, TV6K
UNFOLD...
H. U5lMfe Tk.6 (j.^1^ cRwe
THeT&*> CORNe*<s„.
5. fbu> TWepoTTbiH
^ W 2c£,t^n foq>
rfday, January
5, 2ool
•5-
d UB^julLour-M-tn
Resid
To cofour in this dn
wing of Gage
nee, you will. wed the
UBC Bookstore Word Search
There are a lot of words in
this word search. Most of
them have been pulled direct
ly from the titles\of your
favourite textbooks, wkcould
have listed them off in arepl-
M   N
L-   A
U   N
H   U
H   N
K   A
N   N
F   0
T    I
G
G
A
H
S
I
A
I
A
D
D
E
S
R
0
0
M
y
s
U   N
I
N   N
E   A
umn beside the puzzle but
that would have made this too
easy, and life isn't all easy
puzzles and ice
cream. From Day
One, life is a struggle, a long drawn-
out affair that ends
lit darkness and
soutnde, a morbid,
bleakNjiiing with
only fle&fcing moments of joy and
happiness...a ^Wast-
ed heath on a raj^y
night, a ship adrittS
on a glassy sea with
no land in sight, a
wake-up call too early in the morning,
an unwanted Christmas present, a perpetual hangover, a
rainstorm in white
shorts, a game of
pool with yourself, a
miserable, kitten
chasing a ball of
year through an
abandoned house, a
word search with no
end in sight. Go
ahead, knock yourself out
L
V
D
E
G
N
0
R
NTH
DEN
L R E
ESM
P 0 E
T F G
0 P A
N 0 N
0 W A
N E M
E A C
L H I
E N G
FOE
T G T
R I A
A L R
M L T
T   0   S
following supplies: one HB pencil
(sharp), one HBpen :il (slightly
dull), one HB pencil (dull), one
HB pencil (very blur t), one HB
pencil (broken in half and then
slightw chewed by a small pet).
The colour scheme is as follows:
Windows: ligltgrey
Curtains: dari white
Cement: mottled grey
Trees: brownish grey
Sky: moodyjgrey
Road: charcotlgrey
Sidewalk: _,rey
UBC'n'Stuff Crossword
ACROSS
1. You wouldn't want to
en- these res kids.
3. The sheriff may be dead,
but this guy's alright
7. Live _ UBC
9. Ryan Marshall's failed
attempt at a legacy (2)
10. What you use to pull
dead weight—like the
AMS
13. Proper style for an
English paper
14. You'd better do this
before Januaiy 16.
18. -a-Sketch
19. Organic chemistry is
guaranteed to bring
rour average .
20. Parallel to West Mall
22. $33^jO in student fees
26. Typo fik "info*
28. Form of plebiscite
30. We wish thil\rossword
was __ oil
31. "I would rather <
thousand.
than take Math 101
again."
32. Students often find
themselves in here.
DOWN
1. The colour of choice at a
Lifeline meeting
yci
a
ou
2. It's in some athle
cough medicine,
3. They might give
vacation, whether
. want one or not
4. Where everyone lo[)ks
good at 2:00am
or kind
6.^V . of iiierest
:ite of botton
3.14>
Linear Aark on;
surface
Metric unit o
inductio i,
16. Go to the
have a
kst
cilty
ajnetic
17. The Fa>
21. 301 rid)
wrong,
Okanaga|v
23. A dysl
24. Pitney
25. Opposit^ of subtracts
27. Rhymes
29. A good
in the SllB
Xlg!
ilex c
'o:
also Karl
proctor to
item
of Greed
;s can't be
i ept maybe
i-East
s pet
Roddenbury
vithbrat
t dng npt to do Policy on Short-Term Use of University Space
UBC POLICY: PUBLIC FORUM and (ALL FOR COMMENTS
Hm draft "Policy on Short-Term Use of University Space" (below) was
presented to the Board of Governors for information and review on
November 16,2000. If was developed by a committee with representation
from key stakeholder groups on the campus and is now being presented to
the broader campus community for consultation. Ihe members of the committee that formulated the proposed policy were:
Frank Abbott, Faculty of Pharmaceutical Sciences
Byron Braley, treasury
Phi Bryden, Faculty of Law
Allan DeJong, Housing & Conferences
Ann-Marie Fenger, Faculty of Arts
Mark Fraser, Alma Mater Society
Byron Hender, Office of the Vice President Students
Hubert Lai, Office of the University Counsel
Justin Marples, Classroom Services
John Metras, Plant Operations
Dennis Pavlich, Office of the University Counsel
Mike Sheard, Campus Security
A public forum regarding the proposed polky wl fake place at the
Conversation Pit In the Student Union Building on January 15,2001 at
2:00pm. Al members of the University community are invited to participate.
In addition, feedback may be submitted by e-mal lo the Office of the
University Counsel at lui@excnonge.ubc.ca. Al feedback should be submitted
no later than January 26,2001. Subject to feedback from the campus community, it is expected that the proposed polky wi be submitted to the
Boor a of Governors with a request for raid approval in March of 2001.
DRAFT POLICY
Short-Term Use of University Space
Approved
November 2000 • for information
Al Vice-Presidents
Purpose
Ihe purpose of this Polky is to establish responsibility and priorities for allocation and use
of University Space on a Short-Term basis.
Preamble
This Policy recognizes that a variety of user groups have an interest in using University
Space from time to time on a short-term bask. For the purposes of this Policy, four user
groups are identified
• Academk/Adminblrafive Users
• Acodemk Invitees
• Student Societies
• Commercicil/Other Third Parties
This Polky should read in conjunction with any other applicable policies, including but not
limited lo Policy #6 (Environmental Protection Compliance), Polky #7 (University Safely),
Policy #13 (Serving and Consumption of Alcohol at University Events or on University
Premises]. Polky #14 (Response to Threatening Behaviour), Policy #15 (Smoking), Policy
#16 (Non-University Use of University Services ond Facilities), Policy #98 (Commercial
Undertakings on Campus), Policy #116 (Commercial Agreements Initialed By External
Affairs and The Freedom of Information and Protection of Privacy Act) and Policy #120
(Posting of Notkes, Poster and Signs).
Policy
a) General Principles
The University reserves the right lo manage and restrict access to indoor and outdoor
University Space. In recognition of the University's commitment lo the principle of acodemk freedom, the University will not place any restrictions on freedom of expression
except with respect to such limitations on the lime, place, and manner of such expression
as may be necessary lo ensure that the University's activities, as wel as the safety and
security of persons and facilities, are not compromised. Furthermore, the University will
not discriminate in a manner prohibited by trie Human Rights Code.
b) Authorization and Allocation
• Al University Space is under the control and management of the University and is subject lo its policies. This Policy applies lo the allocation of University Space on a Short-
Term basis only.
• Al prospective Acodemk Invitees and Commercial/Other Third Parties must first have
their request authorized by the relevant person as described in the Procedures and
Guidelines framed by the Vice President Students under this policy.
• Classroom Services b responsible for authorizing and allocating University Space for
short-term use. Exceptions are feted under the Procedures ana Guidelines of thb Policy.
• Al queries regarding Short-Term use of University Space pursuant lo thb Policy should
be directed to Classroom Services al (604) 822-9946. Parties wishing lo secure
University Space for longer periods should contact the Treasury Department at (604)
822-4489.
c) Setting Priorities for Use of University Space
The University retains the discretion to reserve University Space for specific uses on a cose-
by-case basis. University Space b categorized as restricted or non-restrided. Restricted
space refers lo lecture theatres, laboratories, gymnasia and office space that are assigned
lo specific departments and use of thb space b scheduled internally by those departments.
Non-restricted space refers to lecture theatres, laboratories and seminar rooms which are
scheduled by Classroom Servkes. Except where facilities are devoted lo restricted uses and
not generally available for booking, the University wil generally prioritize Short-Term use
of University Space in accordance with the following rankings:
1. Academk/Adminbtrative Users
2. Academk Invitees
3. Student Societies
4. Commerrjal/Other Third Parties
A subsequent booking wil only displace a previously confirmed booking of lower priority
in exceptional drcumslances.
d) licence Agreements
Al use of University Space by Academk Invitees, Student Societies, and Commercial/Other
Third Parties shal only be permitted in accordance with a Lkense agreement, oral or h
writing as required by the University, lhat adequately address the following matters:
• compliance with al applicable laws, including but not limited lo hale legislation, relating lo the Ikensee's use of the University Space;
• indemnity in favour of the University;
insurance;
liability;
government fees & Ikenses;
cancellation;
set-up/clean-up charges & extra servkes (eg, AVequipment/furnilure/calering);
rules concerning signs, posters, advertising, mercrwndbing, etc.;
University trademarks & copyright;
hours covered by agreement;
liquor regulations, if applicable;
security and polking, if applicable;
parking;
safety and emergency procedures;
smoking;
recovery of al costs;
overhead charges;
opening/closing fees;
servkefees;
rental charges, damage charges & cancellation fees, if applicable; and
any other relevant matters.
Authority for establishing the specific terms of each lkense agreement b delegated lo the
Director of Classroom Services and the specific terms may vary depending on factors such
as the nature, lime, length and dale of the proposed use. Execution of any (cense agreement on behalf of the University shal be subject lo the Signing Resolutions of the Board
of Governors.
e) Fees
Use by Academk/Adminbtrative then. Fees are not normally charged for academk and
administrative use of University Space. However, fees are applied for opening and/or
dosing servkes when the event occurs outside regular operating hours. Fees may also be
applied for additional staff or equipment services.
Use by Academic Invitees. Fees may be charged for conferences. Fees are chargeable for
opening ana/or dosing services when the event occurs outside regular operating hours.
Fees may also be applied for additional staff or equipment servkes.
Use by Student Societies. Fees are not normally charged for acodemk and administrative
use of University Space. However, fees are applied for opening and/or closing servkes
when the event occurs outside regular operating hours. Fees may also be applied for
additional staff, resources or equipment servkes.
Use by Commercial/Other Third Parties. Rents and fees based on ful recovery of operating cosh and expenses and market considerations shal be applied for such use.
Definitions
University Space shal mean al real property lo which the University has right of possession, whether by way of ownership or by lease or otherwise, but shal exclude the areas
specifically identified in the section entitled "University Space Managed by Deportments
other than Classroom Servkes". For greater certainty, it b noted thai real property owned
by the University but leased out lo a third party, such as the Student Union Building
(which b leased lo the Alma Mater Society) and Leon and Thea Koerner Graduate Student
Centre (which b leased lo the Graduate Student Society), b not included within the definition ol University Space.
Short-Term, when used in reference to a period of access or use, shal mean access or use
for a period of generally less than four weeks.
Academic/Administrative Users are academk units and odminbtralive units of the
University including a! faculty members and staff who are acting in their capacity as
employees of the University, thai wish lo use University Space for official University purposes. Examples of such University purposes include the following:
• regularly scheduled classes or similar activities for University credit course offerings
(i.e. University degree and diploma courses approved by Senate);
• occasional seminars, discussion groups, or similar activities for University credit course
• official meetings or activities of faculties or deportments;
• Continuing Education activities of faculties, including those organized through the
Centre for Continuing Education and programs for professional and career development (e.g. Commerce Diploma Division, Commerce Red Estate Division, Continuing
Education in the Health Sciences, and Continuing legal Education);
• Continuing Education Language Institute;
• other courses offered by ihe Centre for Continuing Education; and
• official meetings or other similar activities of foculty or staff.
Academk/Adminbtrative Users also include organizations that are supported by the
University with finances, lime, or professional skills (eg. Alumni Association, etc) and bargaining units representing University employees (e.g. Servke Employees International
Union, CUPE) thai wish to use University Space for their regular business meetings.
Academk Invitees are persons and organizations lhat the University wishes lo host within
University Space and to whom the University extends an invitation. They generally
include accredited organizations with a special or direct relationship lo the University, are
normally of an educational, cultural, professional, or social service nature, and are nonprofit in operation (eg. educational institutions, Learned Societies, charities). Academk
Invitees may also include University students in their individual capacities, if they are
approved by the Vice-President, Students.
Student Societies are the Alma Mater Society, the Graduate Student Society, and the
University Publications Society, together with official clubs, constituency societies, and subsidiary organizations that are a part of the Alma Mater Society, the Graduate Student
Society, or the University Publications Society, as the case     be.
Commerckd/Omer Third Parlies are al persons or organizations other than
Academk/Adminbtrative Users, Academk Invitees, and Student Societies who seek a
license lo use University Space Examples of Commercial/Other Third Parties include
movie production companies, wedding parties, concert and festival organizers, and may
include the federal and provincial governments.
Procedures and Guidelines
Al requests for use of space are submitted by email, fax or phone lo Classroom Servkes
10 days prior lo the date of the event. Requests wil be processed and a booking confirmation forwarded lo the booking contact.
(1) Use by Academk/Adminbtrative Users. Booking of University Space for non-academic, departmental and committee meetings and any other functions necessary for the
administration of the University must be done through Classroom Services.
(2) Use by Academk Invitees. Booking of University Space by Academk Invitees who
have a direct or special relationship with the University must be done through
Classroom Services.
Requests for such use of space must be approved by the appropriate Dean or
Administrative Head and are submitted in writing.
(3) Use by Student Societies. Booking of University Space by Student Society/Student
Users for seminars, meetings or any other event must be submitted by an authorized
representative of the student organization lo Classroom Servkes.
(4) Use by Commercial/Other Third Parties. Booking of University Space by
Commercial/Other Third Parties must be submitted in writing to Classroom Services.
Requests must be made at least 10 days prior to the dale of the event. Request
forms ore available via the web htlp://www.s!udenl-
servkes.ubc.co/scnedule/olher req.hlm or may be obtained via e-mail, phone or
„   fax. Requests for such use may be denied on the boss lhat it ts of a competing or
conflicting nature with University Services.
Requests wil be processed and a booking confirmation forwarded lo the contact
along with a Lkense Agreement between the University and Commercial/Other Third
Parties detailing arrangements, including time period covered, insurance and transportation, liability and financial terms.
University Space Managed by Deportments
other than Classroom Services
Aquatk Centre. Any parties wishing lo secure access lo the UBC Aqualk Centre should con-
lad the Aquatk Centre Administration at (604) 822-4522.
Asian Centre. Any parties wishing lo secure access lo the UBC Asian Centre should contact
the International Liaison Office at (604) 822-0810.
Botanical Gardens. Any parties wishing lo secure access lo the UBC Botanical Gardens
should contact the Botanical Gardens Office al (604) 822-3928.
Ced Green Park While Ced Green Pork b not under lease lo the Alumni Association, 1 b
administered by the Alumni Association under separate rules from those set forth in thb
Polky and nothing in thb Polky shal be construed so as lo affect any arrangements currently in place between the University and the Alumni Association. Any parties wishing lo
secure access lo Ced Green Park should contact the Alumni Association directly at (604)
822-3313.
Own Centre for the Performing Art Any parties wishing lo secure access la the Chan
Centre for the Performing Arts should contact the booking office of the Chan Centre for
the Performing Arts directly at (604) 822-9197.
food Services Facilities. The Deportment of Food Servkes b operated as an ancillary of the
University. Any parties wishing lo secure access lo any facilities over which the Department
of Food Servkes has been delegated jurisdiction by the Vice-President, Finance and
Administration should contact the administration office of UBC Food Servkes directly at
(604)822-3663.
International House. Any parties wishing to secure access lo the UBC International House
should contod the booking office of the International House directly at (604) 822-0641
Leon and Thea Koerner Graduate Student Centre. Authority over specific space in, and certain exterior space immediately adjacent to, the Leon and Thea Koerner Graduate Student
Centre has been delegated lo the Graduate Student Society of the University of British
Columbia, by the Vice President, Students. Any parlies wbning to secure access lo the
Leon and Thea Koerner Graduate Student Centre should contact the bookings office of the
Leon and Thea Koerner Graduate Student Centre at (604) 822-3202.
Ubrary. Any parlies wishing access la the library should contod the Facilities Office of the
Library at (604) 822-3858.
Museum el Anthropology, Any parties wishing lo secure access lo the Museum of
Anthropology should conlad the booking office of the Museum of Anthropology directly at
(604)822-4643.
Norman Meruie House. Authority over specific space in and to the exterior and gardens
immediately adjacent b vested in tne President or her/lib delegate.
Student Residences and Conference Cenbes. The Department of Housing and Conferences
b operated as an ancillary of the University. Any parties wishing lo secure access lo any
facilities over which the Department of Housing and Conferences has been delegated jurisdiction by the Vice-President, Students, whkh includes al student residences and al
attached meeting space (Also, from May through August, inclusive, the UBC Conference
Centre has a higher booking priority for academk classrooms in the Woodward IRC and
Curtis Law buildings than all other users except academk care courses.) should conlad the
UBC Conference Centre directly at (604) 822-1060.
Student Union Building AulhorSy over most space in and certain exterior space immedi-
alery adjacent lo the Student Union Building b under the auspices of the Alma Mater
Society of the University of British Columbia pursuant lo the terms and conditions of the
lease agreement entered into between the University and the Alma Mater Society in 1967,
and b governed by specific policies and procedures of the Student Administration
Commission and the AMS Vice-President, Adminbtratioii Any parties wishing to secure
access to the Student Union Building should contod the bookings office of the Alma Mater
Society at (604) 822-3456.
Thea and Leon Koerner University Centre. Any parties wishing lo secure access lo the Thea
and Leon Koerner University Centre (the Graduate Student Centre) should contod the
Thea and Leon Koerner University Centre diredfy at (604) 822-3203.
Thunderbird Winter Sports Centre, Stadium, Wat Memorial Gym, and all Playing Fields.
Authority over the Thunderbird Winter Sports Centre, the Stadium, the War Memorial
Gym, and al Playing Fields has been delegated la the Department of Athletics by the Vice-
President, Students. Any parties wishing lo secure access to any of these facilities should
conlad Athletic Facilities al (604) 822-3918. tlie utySSey Qctlvlty hook
Fun and $ame%
#••••••••••,
Friday, January 5. Zool • #7
•••
••••••••
T&A with your TA?
Take the Ubyssey relationship quiz
University is all about meeting new people. But how do
yoa do it? Is that cutie sitting next to you hot to trot? Is
your TA looiin' for some cookin'? Is your prof achin' for
your bacon? Take the UbysSey qpiiz to find out if you're a
hottie or a naughty!
THE CUTE PERSON NEXT TO YOU IN CLASS
1. When s/he asks to borrow your notes, you:
A. Photocopy your notes
B. With your phone number on them
C. You dirty dog, you
2. When s/he asks for some extra help studying on
the weekend, you say:
A. 'I'd love to help*
B. 'I'd really love to help"
C. 'I know. I've been watching you"
3. When s/he invites you to a frat party, you:
A. Laugh derisively
B. Dig out those slutty clothes you wore in Grade 10
C. Wonder if there's a vaccine against Rohypnol
4. When s/he says s/he likes your shoes, you:
A. Blush shyly
B. Pay a compliment in return
C. Get. It. On.
5. When s/he aks you what your major is, you say:
A. "Human Kinetics*
B. "Major what?"
C. "Fucking"
YOUR TEACHING ASSISTANT
1. When your TA recommends a 'really good book*
for you to read, you:
A. Head for the hills
B. Head for the library
C. Head in the library
2. When your TA recommends 'a really good pill* for
you to take, you:
A. Turn him or her in
B. Offer to meet him/her at the Pit that night
C. Ask him/her which frat s/he belonged to
3. When your TA starts talking to you about unionisation, you:
A. Tune out
B. Express your solidarity
C. Wink knowingly
4. When your TA says *No need to thank me, I'm just
doing my job/you:
A. Thank him or her anyway
B. Get dressed
C. Say "And I'm doing mine"
5. When your TA asks you to 'call me IshmaeL* you:
A. Call him/her Ishmael
B. Say 'I'm no white whale!"
_ C. Say "You're more like Moby-Dickl"
YOUR PROFESSOR
1. When you get an A on your first assignment, you:
A. Congratulate yourself on a job well done
B. Check to see if the paper is actually yours
C. Sell your paper for cold, hard cash
2. When your prof strips naked in his/her office, you:
A. Run away, in shock
B. Look away, in shock
C. Look closer, in morbid fascination
3. When your professor invites you to 'meet* his/her
'partner/ you:
A. Check your calendar to see if you're free that night
B. Explain that 'you don't go for that kinky shit*
C. Unless it earns you an A.
4. When your professor snorts a line of blow off your
naked chest you:
A. Have visions of the Dean's List dancing in your head
B. Snort a line off his/her naked chest
C. Look at your watch and realise you have to meet
another prof in ten minutes
5. When your prof invites you over for dinner, you:
A. Decline politely.
B. Say 'I already got into grad school, thanks*
C. Say "No way on earthl* Then accept and yell
"Psychl" ♦
What kind of relationship do you have? Seepage 81
tHEUBYSSEY
Friday, January 5, 2001
Voluiti0 82 Issue 24
WHIP-CRACKING    :
iota Westover   '
TANNING
Sarah Morrison
■'., -7,    HAl     7 Y
Tristan Winch
PLANNING
Alex Dimson
0                                                         '
1 DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING"7
Dalian Merzaban
FACT-CHECKING? HA!
Laura Blue
HIRED HELP    7
Bruce Arthur
WIRETAPPING
Regina Yung
MAN? MACHINE?
Duncan M. McHugh
SEARCHING
Ernie Beaudin
FOR SALE—CHEAP!
Nicholas Bradley
BREAKING. ENTERING
Mandy Merzaban
PRINCESS
Michelle Mossop
LIKE A LITTLE PRAYER
Tom Peacock
SACRIFICIAL WAX VICTIM
Holland Gidney
PEN OR PENCIL?
Lucas tha Cartoon's
BUSINESS MANAGER: Fernie Pereira
AD SALES: Jennifer Copp
AD DESIGN: Shalene Takara
Y EDITORIAL OFFICE:        7
Room 241K, Student Union Building
613$ Student Union Boulevard
Vancouver, BC V6T1U
fei: (604) 822-2301
fax: (604) 822-?2?*
e-mail: feedback@ubyssey.bc.ca
BUSINESS OFFICEr
Rqoit) 245, Student Union Building
advertising: (604) 822-1654
business: (604) 8224681
7    fax:(604)822-1658
e-mail: ubyssey_ads@yahoo.comL
sit us at www.ams.ubc.ca
"Look Here"
SELECTIONS FROM
THE AMS COLLECTION
SUB Art Gallery
January 8-12
1 1:30 am - 4:00 pm
Show Opening:
Mon. Jan. 8. 2001
7-9pm
SUB Art gallery
PLEASE JOIN US FOR
FINE ART, DECADENT
DESSERTS, HOT
REFRESHMENTS AND A
CASH BAR.
h\.xu.l
jj ;\ ■ -,     '-^JAMS Elections 2001 ^ , .;
^rn|p^!(lns for AM<>: 6'fffaff
'■■.. '•':i,;%'fee 4:00 PM, 77f
Friday January 5, 2001
:r
I'V>
r*y
icrfetlil:
*_. l      j     -£*    ■>
J'Y • J: ^   «
r* ;*    i? > ■-1. JE
Hobbyand
Skills Classes
:t? in the SUB.
c/J^'O BegJnS
^r*      Jan. 22,2001.
Courses include:
Arts & Crafts,
Bartending, Cooking,
First Aid, Web Design
Visit www.ams.ubc.ca for more details
Register at SUBtitles (Used Bookstore SUB lower level)
brought to you by your student society

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