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The Ubyssey Dec 4, 2005

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Array I
An excerpt from Palagi,the winning
48-hour novella. Page 3
A win-win situation.
Page 4
UBC needs to make some resolutions
for the new year. Page 6
Wednesday, 4 January, 2006
Looking up pruny fingers since 1918
IRSA's Night of a
Thousand Dinners
continues fight for
worldwide landmine
by Michael Kenacan
The International Relations
Student Association (IRSA) hosted its fourth annual Night of a
Thousand Dinners in December
to generate awareness of landmines and generate funds for
de-mining efforts and victim
Held at the Westin Bayshore
Resort and Marina, IRSA's dinner was the largest student-run
one in the world of all the organisations participating in this
international event.
One of the key themes of the
dinner was student action. Dr
Allen Sens, Chair of the UBC
International Relations Program
affirmed that, "[the dinner] is
one of the opportunities students
have to make a difference."
After a short film by Mines
Action Canada, guest speakers
took the stage. They included
Major Mike Audette from the
Department ,of ._,<.. National ■.
Defense, Martin Cronin, British
Consul General, and the honourary Consul-General of Costa
Rica, Antonio Arreaga.
The most controversial
speaker was Lewis Lukens, the
United States Consul-General,
as his country was alone
amongst the others for not having signed the Mine Ban Treaty
Yet Lukens was politely
received, and        obtained
applause by stating that the
"United States is committed to
the legacy of removing unex-
ploded ordinance."
Fernando de la Mora, president of IRSA, commented that
although "the US hasn't signed
the MBT, their [de-mining funding! Is a sig11 °f *be normative
weight of the de-mining
Paul Faucette, representing
the organisation Adopt-a^
Minefield, forecasted that the
money raised from the dinner
would go to a "country of great
need, most likely Cambodia."
With four to six million live
landmines, Cambodia is one of
the most heavily mined countries in the world, second only
to Afghanistan.
"All the proceeds from the
dinner go into landmine relief,
none to administrative costs,"
said Faucette.
Keith Martin, MP for
Esquimalt-Juan de Fuca, gave
the keynote address. Having
experienced firsthand the damage mines do to people at a field
hospital in rural South Africa,
Martin expounded on both the
economic and humanitarian
effects of mines and the difficulty of de-mining.
First-time attendee and AMS
See "Dinner"page 2.
AMS introduces
hybrid elections
Changes aim to offset low voter turnout
imu UBcrcirv iv/i   u ic: i n^ji i i ly n ly L-mwiD
While you were relaxing over the December break the UBC
Thunderbirds were ripping up the competition. See page 7 for highlights of all the holiday action, yinan max wang photo
by Paul Evans
Students will likely be able to
vote electronically or by tbe
more traditional paper ballot
method in the upcoming student government elections.
Seeking final approval, the
"hybrid" election system is an
improvement over the online-
only voting system used
in previous years, said
Alma Mater Society
Elections Administrator
Ian McKechnie.
He explained that
the switch to online
voting three years ago
wasn't able to combat
low voter turnout.
Additionally, the high
cost of funding paper ballot
polling stations for a week
made it an undesirable
"We figured there had to be a
better way and that's why we
developed the hybrid system,"
McKechnie stated.
As a form of advance polling,
the online component of the
election will run from January
21 to 25. Students will be able to
log into webvote and vote normally during that period.
After this, on January 27,
there will be one day of paper
ballot voting where students can
vote in person at a polling sta-
tion, similar to the system used
in Canadian elections.
McKechnie explained that
there won't be voting on Januaiy
26 so that enough time is allotted to processing the numbers
from online voting.
Students greeted word of
this new voting system with
mixed response.
Katie Lightfoot, a fourth
year Arts student, commented that it might
increase voter turnout.
"Maybe they're reaching out to a few more
that way."
Third year geological engineering student
Ben Singleton said that
the   online   system  is
"I think they should just do
it online because it's cheaper," he said.
But McKechnie explained
that the transition to the
hybrid voting system would be
cost-neutral because there is
no longer a need for the information clerks that accompanied online-only voting.
"Since we're doing [the
hybrid system], we escaped that
requirement," he said, "we take
the budget we would have had
for the information clerks and
put it into polling clerks."
Nominations for the AMS
elections close on Januaiy 9. II
UBC's Pan Pacific dreams drown
Largest non-Olympic swimming event to be hosted elsewhere—UBC unable to complete pool on time
by Eric Szeto
UBC will not be hosting the largest
international swimming competition in Western Canada since the
1994 Commonwealth Games after
it announced that the new
Olympic sized pool would not
be ready in time for this summer's Pan Pacific Swimming
Event organisers for Swim
Canada must now find an alternative location for the event that
plays host to more than 1,000 participants and thousands of spectators and has an anticipated television audience of 1.5 million
"The sucker's going to happen,"
said Swim Canada CEO Pierre
Lafontaine. "It would have been
great to have it at UBC and it
would have saved me a lot of
While one of the concerns was
the Pan Pacific games, said VP
Students Brian Sullivan, the more
fundamental issue was whether to
proceed with replacing the aging
Empire pool considering the exor-
NO POOL HERE: Swim Canada is now forced to search for a new
place to host the Pan Pacific Games, yinan max wang photo
bitant rise in construction costs.
He explained that the original
cost of the pool construction that
was approved by UBC's Board of
Governors at the end of September
was $8.5 million, but by
December price escalations had
driven construction costs up  50
per cent in some cases, leaving the
new figure for the pool at $13.5
These price escalations are
occurring across the board,
explained Sullivan.
Sullivan expressed his regret
that UBC wouldn't be able to host
the games, but assured that the
pool would go forward alongside
the phase two portion of the
University Boulevard project.
It was fluctuations in construction costs that threw the whole
project off, reaffirmed Director of
UBC Athletics Bob Philips.
"The cost of doing University
Boulevard kept escalating and it
kept moving around. It's kind of
like a moving target."
"It would have been nice for
Vancouver to host the games/ he
said. "It would have put the spotlight on us—that's why everybody
wanted to do it."
Proposals were being considered by UBC to build a temporary
ten lane, 50-metre above ground
pool, a project that would have
taken considerably less time.
But the idea was scrapped because
it was seen as top costly an expenditure.
"It was seen as impractical
and very, very expensive to do a
temporary installation," said
Sullivan. "That would be a lot of
expense that we would never be
See "Pool" page 2. 2 News
Wednesday, 4 January, 2006   THEUBYSSEY
Largest student run landmine dinner
"Dinner" from page 1.
President Spencer Keys thought
that the "dinner's quality was
obviously second to none."
De la Mora supplied the closing remarks and again, student
action was stressed. Landmine
clearance was and is important
to de la Mora so "people can
walk without fear." De la Mora
concluded on an optimistic
note, by stating that "a future
free   of landmines   is   within
-Ferando de la Mora
IRSA President
reach and it's our responsibility
to continue to strive for that
goal, "a
Swim Canada scrambling to find new host
"Pool" from page 7.
able to recover... we know we want
to have a permanent outdoor pool
in that location so it was deemed
not feasible."
Swim Canada is currently looking at holding the August 17-20
event in Victoria, Montreal or at
Simon Fraser University. Victoria
and Montreal have existing
facilities capable of hosting the
event but no decision will be made
until February.
The tight deadline to find another host, Lafontaine maintained,
will significantly reduce the
chances of generating revenue
from the event. He is optimistic,
"Hopefully we won't lose money
on it," he said.
"If that's what [UBC] feels is
right that's a great decision for
them," said Lafontaine, "but it just
puts us in a bind now and we're
struggling a little to move forward
but we'll get there." ■
Christmas Tree Chipper Event
UBC Botanical Garden
January 7,10- 4pm
Drop off your Christmas tree and for a small donation have your
tree chipped. Mulch from the tress will be used on garden paths
and throughout the university campus. It's one last good deed
before the happy holiday feelings wear off.
3 Parkers, 1 Mozart
Chan Centre, Shun Concert Hall
January 8
3 pm
Come join four pianists all coincidentally named Parker In a celebration of the 250th anniversary of Mozart, one of the greatest
musicians of all time.Tickets $15-$20.
Paul Rusesabagina
January 8
Chan Centre, Shun Concert Hall
The Chan Centre hosts an intimate conversation with Paul
Rusesabagina, the inspiration behind Hotel Rwanda. View a first
hand account of one of the most courageous tales ever told.
T-Birds BasketbsE!
January 6,6:15 pm
War Memorial Gym
Come see the UBC women's basketball team as they face
Lethbridge at the War Memorial Gym. Painted faces and/or chests
More Basketball
January 6,8 pm
Coincidentally also against Lethbridge. Bring your lady friend and
make it a night on the town, if the War Memorial Gym counts as the
UBC Ice Hockey
January 6,7:30 pm
Winter Sports Complex
Watch the womens' hockey team as they take the ice against
The Constantines with guests
January 7,7pm
The Pit Pub
Tickets are available at The Outpost for $5 in advance or $7 at the
Hockey Day in Canada
January 7
For those of you who don't have a means of transportation, park
your rump in front of the tv screen for Hockey Day in Canada this
Saturday on CBC. Celebrate our national pastime by sitting for
seven straight hours!
The world is waiting for you.
What are you waiting for?
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Wednesday, 4 January, 2006
Editorial Board
coordinating editor Jesse Marchand
news editors Paul Evans Sd Eric Szeto
news@ubyssey.be ca
culture editor Simon Underwood
sports editor Megan Smyth
Bryan Zandberg
photo editor Yinan Max Wang
production manager Michelle Mayne
volunteers Vacant
research/letters Claudia Li
The Ubyssey is the official student newspaper of the University
of British Columbia. It is published every Tuesday and Friday
by The Ubyssey Publications Sodety. We are an autonomous,
democratically run student organisation, and all students are
encouraged to participate.
Editorials are chosen and written by the Ubyssey staff. They
are the expressed opinion of the staff, and do not necessarily
reflect the views of The Ubyssey Publications Society or the
University of British Columbia. All editorial content appearing in
The Ubyssey is the property of The Ubyssey Publications Sodety.
Stories, opinions, photographs and artwork contained herein
cannot be reproduced without the expressed, written permission
of The Ubyssey Publications Society.
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Letters to the editor must be under 300 words. Please include
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under 750 words and are run according to space.'Freestyles" are
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given to letters and perspectives over freestyles unless the latter is
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that if the Ubyssey Publications Society fails to publish an
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Breathless and sweating, Eric Szeto ran to Megan
Smyth with his arms open wide but Megan passed
him and hugged Claudia U instead. Jesse Marchand
consoled Eric out to no avail because the tears were
already steaming down his face. In attempts to
cheer Eric up, Michelle Mayne and Colleen Tana
made him a kite but it blew away into the dark
rainy night Bryan Zandberg scoffed and told Eric to
take it like a man. Boris Korby nodded in agreement Yinan Max Wang made him some food but
Eric was too heartbroken to eat so Paul Evans ate it
for him. Simon Underwood made him a stuffed
teddybear that Eric cuddled with. Michael Kenacan
and Levi Barnett tried to give Eric a hug but he
turned away.Trevor Gilks, Hilary Smith and Tia
Town-Schon drew Eric a card. He smiled again.
editorial graphic Simon Underwood
Canada Post Sales Agreement
Number 0040878022 THE UBYSSEY  Wednesday, 4 January, 2006
Feature 3
Palagi: an excerpt from the novella
The Pemberton Templeton 48-Hour Novella-Writing Contest was started off by a UBC student a few years back.
Since then, droves of daring (if not slightly masochistic) writers have locked themselves away for two heady
days at the end of August, plunged in the challenge of penning a complete novella from scratch.This year's
winner, Hilary Smith, is a UBC student and this excerpt—from her story Palagi—follows the twists and turns of
Roberta, a Westerner traveling alone through Samoa.
n their way out
the    gate,    Sina
picks  two  white
and yellow frangi-
pani blossoms off
a dark bush. She
tucks one behind
Roberta's ear and puts the other
behind her own. They walk in the
middle of the road. On the left side,
there are sandy lots with large family fales [a Samoan word for house—
ed.]   set   back   from   the   road.
Families sit cross-legged on their
mats listening to the radio or watching a small television propped up
on a rare table. On all sides of the
fales the woven panels are tied up to
let in the sea breeze blow through.
From the road, you can see everything that goes on inside the fales.
Not much is going on.  Roberta
walks to the right of Sina, on the
beach side of ihe road. They go past
Manu's  Fales  and Po'osi  Fales,
where the dinner tables are even
longer   than   at   Lalomanu   and
parked under corrugated iron shelters in the middle of their respective beaches. Not for the first time,
Roberta is glad to be staying at
There is a dim streetlamp at the
edge of the road in front of Manu's
Beach Fales towards which Sina
steers Roberta.
"These are my friends,' she says.
It takes a moment for Roberta's
eyes to register the dark shapes of
the boys sitting in the shadows outside the circle of orange light cast by
the lamp. She has to shade her eyes
with her hands, feeling exposed in
the light like a display in a store
window. When Sina steps into the
shadows, Roberta follows her.
There are five or six boys sitting
in the grass at the base of a low
hedge, shirtless, with dark hair and
thick eyebrows. A few are skinny
and muscular, a few tend towards
solid and big. Sina speaks to them
in Samoan, laughs, makes scolding
noises and accepts a cigarette.
"I don't smoke,* she says to
Roberta. "Only sometime. Hee-hee!*
She   goes   back   to   speaking
Samoan with the boys and Roberta
hears one of them say something
with the word palagi. It sounds like
a question. Who's the white chick?
Roberta stands with her arms at her
sides and looks for something on
which to rest her gaze. She settles
on the ocean, visible over the hedge.
The waves come in like horses.
"You ready to go?" says Sina.
"Me?" says Roberta. "Whenever
you want."
"OK. We move on now. I just
wanted to speak to those boys
because two of them are Pau'o's
cousins and we are in a fight."
They cross the road and start
walking back towards Laetitia's.
"Who's Pau'o?" says Roberta.
"One of my boyfriends."
"How many do you have?"
"Five." Sina giggles. "Crazy Sina."
"Holy smokes," says Roberta.
"Don't they mind?"
"They are all in different villages," says Sina. "But Pau'o is my
one and only. He owns Po'osi
Beach Fales."
"What are you fighting about?"
"Stupid things. He is a stupid boy
sometimes. I tell him, you have to
talk to me. Sometimes he go an
entire day without coming to see
me. He is a stupid boy. You will
meet him tonight."
There is a low whistle from the
side of the road and a tall boy steps
out of the shadows.
"Aukusol* shrieks Sina. She
grabs his arm and marches him
over to Roberta.
"Roberta, I want you to meet
Aukuso. He is my best, best, best
friend. He is the very, very, nicest
boy and," she giggles, "he doesn't
have a girlfriend. Aukuso, this is
Roberta from New Zealand and she
is only eighteen years old. Old
enough to have a boyfriend, too
young to get a man!"
to speaking
Samoan with the
boys and Roberta
say something with
the word palagi.
it sounds like a
question. Who's the
white chick?
Roberta gives Sina a poke in
the ribs.
"Quiet, you!"
"Crazy Sina," laughs the Samoan
girl. "Always getting into trouble."
Aukuso kicks at a rock and stares
at something down the road. He
says something to Sina in Samoan
and they talk for a minute. Then
Sina places a hand on Roberta's
"Aukuso say he really wanna talk
with you. He thinks you're a really
nice girl."
"But he just met me!"
"He  just   wanna   talk,   make
friends with you. I've got to find
Pau'o and have a talk with him. Is it \
OK if I leave you with Aukuso? He   f
just wanna make friends with you."
"Where are you going to be?"
"Aukuso says Pau'o is down at
the fales. I'm going to get him and
walk back here together. You go
for a walk with Aukuso and we'll
meet right here in ten minutes."
"You promise you'll be here in
ten minutes?"
"Me and Pau'o. You can meet the
stupid boy."
Roberta hesitates. "Fine."
Sina and Aukuso exchange a
few more words and then she
saunters away towards Po'osi
Beach Fales. Roberta and Aukuso
are left alone. They stand in the
road for a few awkward moments
and Aukuso smiles sheepishly,
still kicking at the stone. Roberta is
somewhere between cross and
amused. She is aware that she has
just been pawned off. Come to
think of it, though, she's not sure
which one of them is being
bestowed to the other—Aukuso to
her, or her to Aukuso?
"This your first time Samoa?"
says Aukuso finally.
How original.
"Yep," she says. Before he can
get to the next question—"How long
you stay Samoa?*—she interrupts.
"This is ridiculous. Let's at least
walk. I'm not standing out here
until Sina gets back."
"You want walk on beach?" says
They cross onto the beach and
walk in the opposite direction of
the last set of fales. At least here
she doesn't feel like she's being
watched, whereas in the road the
sensation is tangible. There's a
word for being seen at all times.
Panopticism. She's read about
prisons like that, in the United
States. It's supposed to keep the
inmates in line.
"How old are you?" says Roberta.
He looks older. His profile is
sharply defined, with a strong jaw
line and wide flat cheeks. Roberta
has tried not to look at his body,
incensed as she is at Sina's presumption that she's in Samoa to
chase men.
"Are you still in school?"
He thinks out the words in his
"Finish school."
"What are you doing now?"
"Mmmhh." Aukuso smiles at her
sheepishly. She's not sure he understands what she's saying. They walk
on in silence.
"Sit here?" says Aukuso. They are
on the darkest part of the beach,
shadowed by coconut trees. Roberta
rolls her eyes. He could use a bit of
subtlety. They sit in the sand and
Roberta stares at the ocean. This
would be so romantic, if they actually liked each other.
"Tell me about yourself," says
Roberta. "Where does your family
"Live Savai'i," says Aukuso.
Roberta digs a stone out of the
sand and flicks it down the beach.
"OK. What are your interests?"
Aukuso drapes his arm around
her shoulder and she shrugs it off.
"Come on. Talk to me. Say something."
He thinks about it.
"How you like Samoa."
If there was a brick wall available, Roberta would beat her head
against it.
At least here
she doesn't
feel like she's
being watched,
whereas in the road
the sensation is tanGIBLE. There's a word
for being seen at all
times. Panopticism.
She's read about
prisons like that, in
the United States.
It's supposed to keep
the inmates in line.
"That doesn't count."
Then he leans across to kiss her
and his tongue is in her mouth, a
warm muscle flexing in a wet coat.
Her back meets the sand and his
legs moves onto either side of
hers. His hand moves up her skirt
and she closes her thighs, it
changes course deftly to slip under
her shirt, his fingertips leaving a
trail of heat across her stomach as
they travel towards her bra.
Aukuso's eyes are closed. Roberta
watches his face while he kisses
her. She pushes him off.
They sit up and Roberta feels in
the sand for her fallen hair elastic.
It's gone.
She brings her knees to her chest
and spreads her lavalava over her
legs. There are thousands of stars.
The moon has waned since she first
got to Samoa. Aukuso puts his arm
around her shoulder again.
"Do you love to me?" he says.
Roberta laughs. The boy is hilarious, a cutting ironic wit.
"No," she says, "of course not! Of
course I don't love you."
What ridiculous stars. There are
so many of them. What a ridiculous
country, what a ridiculous universe.
Aukuso leans in again but she
turns her face away with a strange,
cold laugh. These people you can't
explain things to.
"Let's go," she says.
It only takes a minute to get back
to the road, and Sina is already waiting there with Pau'o. Aukuso disappears down a driveway.
"Did you have a nice walk?" says
Sina with a curious lack of surmise.
"I'll tell you later," says Roberta.
"This big man is Pau'o." Sina
thumps her boyfriend's chest with
her hand. "He hunted pigs today."
"Did you catch any?" asks
"He caught a big one," Sina
answers. "Cooked it for dinner."
She yawns exaggeratedly and
bats a hand over her mouth.
"Oof. I am sleepy. Need to get up
early tomorrow morning to make
breakfast for you. We go back to the
fale now, OK?"
"OK/ says Roberta.
They go. When she sees the
frangipani bush at the Laetitia
Beach Fales gate, Roberta remembers the flower Sina put behind
her ear.
She hadn't even noticed it was
gone, a
text by Hilary Smith (photos by Yinan Max Wang "■w:mr.
t' (
4 Culture
Wednesday, 4 January, 2006
Wednesday, 4 January, 2006
Culture 5
Custom |p Clothing
hi & Club Custom Geaiv
Complete Snowboard Shop.
thrillershop (a cs.com
Damn, those folks at the
Ubyssey are so cool, I
wish I could work there.
Now's your chance!
They just happen to be'
looking for a new
.volunteers coordinator!.
Cool! I'm going to go to their
staff meeting on Wednesday at noon,
in SUB 24, to find out more about this
position! If I can't make it, then I'll email
coordinating @ ubyssey.bc.ca instead.
Campus &  Community  Planning
Campus Open Houses: 16th Avenue Redesign
You are Invited to two open houses on redesigning 16th Avenue to Incorporate
roundabouts. These are opportunities to drop-in and speak to University staff about the
The first open house will be for you to The second open house will report back on
provide feedback: the feedback we've received and the revised
recommended option:
Tuesday, January 10th 2006 Date:
3pm to 6pm Time:
Student Union Building Place:
Room 214
Monday, January 30th 2006
3pm to 6pm
Student Union Building
11, '  i'       !.,.
pe of Redesign
For directions to the Student Union Building, 6138 Student Union Boulevard visit:
All Information is available on the Campus & Community Planning (C&CP) website:
http: / / www.planning.ubc.ca/corebus/transportation.html
Contact: Karly Henney, Planner, C&CP - email: karly.henney@ubc.ca
fjKe Master .of Rnaneialffe
■of Toronto:, isa 'smalt' enrollment/collaBoraTive program ■       a.
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priVi.an^gemeW. The Program equips .talented, students with-, ,:
.the tools.required for.successful,careers.-.in.the'financial .sector'-.
by. fh.ergfihg the.'thepretical;'. analytical and. quantitative r '■ , :
components-::pf-an MAf in -E.cbno'mie.s. v.'ith the practice*!'■ and..;.
applied, case-based studies, of MBA-finahce-icbyrses.
The MFE .program, is at the forefront oftHe.nev/'tr-enc) Towards- ■■■
inc.reasod specializat ion in grciduate prpgrams-...1 ir addit;ip.h;to:.
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program one}, mpre closely match .it with their, career objectives.
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Master of Financial Economics Program
Universiiy of Toronto
150 St. George Street
Toronto, Ontario M5S 3G7
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:Pr:cciruhv Coordi.Vftitor c>» (-4T6).97$- 8.623.
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like a pubescent
at the top of his
Roger Bennett, Jules Shell,
Nick Kroll
Crown Publishers
by Jackie Wong
I've experienced a great deal of awkwardness in my time, and social
gaffes, unskilled conversations, and
general discomforts still seem to
repeat themselves on a daily basis.
My awkward peak occurred early in
life, however—specifically in grades
seven through nine. These years
were marred with hideous glasses,
extreme gangliosity, bad hair, worse
teeth, and over-compensatory imitation Chuck Taylors that my mom
bought me from The Bay.
But in spite of the innumerable
visual setbacks that my appearance
humbled me with at the time, I
somehow developed a propensity
for things like piano and musical
theatre. I'm still surprised at how
such occasions for performativity
were granted to someone as unfit
for public consumption as the adolescent me, but one saving grace
keeping me from further humiliation in the socio-spiritual context
was my nonjewishness. Growing
up in a Challah-free suburb, I also
lacked any Jewish friends. As such, I
sadly missed out on the 13th-birth-
day fame, glamour, and latent sexual tension wrapped in the illustri-
ousness of the Bar Mitzvah.
Harnessing an unsuspecting boy
or girl at the height of their awkwardness, the Bar or Bat Mitzvah
thrusts the ingrown candidate into
the spotlight with a celebratory, family-sponsored opus of religious ceremony, conspicuous wealth, and the
full-volume rotation of "Safety
Dance" with "Total Eclipse of the
Heart." After all, asks Bar Mitzvah
Disco, "what parenting technique is
guaranteed to repair your child's
shattered self-confidence, clarify sexual confusion, and convey the sense
of love you cannot quite bring yourself to communicate directly?" A
safari-themed Saturday night
blowout worth more than your
weight in holy scrolls, that's what.
Bar Mitzvah Disco allowed me to
finally experience the
magic of Bar Mitzvah,
albeit years after my own
thirteenth birthday. A collaborative work put togeth- '"•
er by Roger Bennett, Jules
Shell,  and Nick Kroll, die:;
book features a collection of
family photographs, personal
Bar Mitzvah testimonials, and  \
intellectual  musings  on  the
irony, awkwardness, and hilarity implicit in the clash of family,   **&&>■'
children,    and   social   custom
underpinning the Bar Mitzvah. The
photos are pulled from the arsenals
of incriminating blackmail material
in eveiy mother's basement, shots of
13th-birthday slow dances, karaoke
performances, and professional double-exposure glamour shots that rear
their heads only in that special point
of contact between your mom, your
significant other, and the adult peers
you are trying to impress. Clever
reflections by Bar Mitzvah alumni
relate tales of three-piece suits, fractured dignity, and thunder-stealing
grandmas. The stories and images
render a nostalgic, intelligent exploration of the pop  culture,  social
codes,    and   cultural   obligations
underpinning what was construed to
be the crowning moment of a 13-
year-old's life.
• Guest sign-in board featuring a
life-sized image of the Bar Mitzvah
boy or girl photographed in front
of a Disneyland castle, dressed as
Indiana Jones, or dutifully
sketched by a hired artist in which
one's suburban affections for
gangsta rap are expressed in
• Balloon arc to make entrance to
the event more epic
With a foreword by the Village
People ("our music—as much as anyone else's—has become synonymous
with the word P-A-R-T-Y"), the book's
chapters open with quotes from De
La Soul, Simple Minds, Talking
Heads, and Grand Master Flash. The
book's undeniable hipness appeals
Challah: traditional bread consumed, on Jewish holidays,
including Shabbat,etc
Evening entertainment including,
but not limited to, a hired band,
arcade games, game show-
themed activities, zoo animais,
and celebrity impersonators
A DJ spinning sick rhythms that
must always include:
A tension-breaking break dance
circle (at this generally gawky life
stage, there is always at least one
member of the party whose lank-
iness, agility, and white suburban
enthusiasm for hip hop and life
"in the hood/wit da crew" lends
to a hipster audience who, at some
point in their lives, responded to the
rallying cry of the Bar Mitzvah:
"[You] are surrounded by [your] family and community who in one act,
symbolically shout out, 'you are cool.
Go for it." But even if at this stage in
life we haven't quite harnessed the
itself well to the finer points of
pop-and-lock, the worm, and
rudimentary headspins.
A socially-lubricating "group
dance," executed on the premise
that "awkward teenagers like to
be told exactly how to dance so
they won't stray off the cool or
goofy path "This fact alone
maintains the vitality of hits like ,
YMCA,The Electric Slide, and the
chicken dance.
The much-anticipated slow dance:
in the midst of all the sweaty
palms and bridge-burning rejections, there were a few phoenixes
rising from the ashes of awkward
who stood as role models for
everyone. In short, they were the
few "true professionals who had ,
mastered the hidden art of getting to second base with family
and friends watching."
cool that countless Bar Mitzvahs
tried so hard to achieve, Bar Mitzvah
Disco reassures us that we're not
alone in the chase-and, as is evident
by the wave of puffy sleeves, crimped
hair, and khaki-blazered jam-outs to
"Like a Virgin,* more often than not,
the joy is in the ride. II
Nothing shouts prep school like boys, brats and backstabbin
Curtis Sittenfield
Random House
by Alia Dharssi
Prep, Curtis Sittenfield's literary
debut, is an absorbing coming-of-
age story told through the eyes of
Lee Fiora, a lower middle-class girl
attending a rich preparatory boarding school thanks to an academic
scholarship. The plight of the adolescent protagonist is easy to relate
to because her experience is jam-
packed with the insecurities that we
have all felt at one time or another
during our high school years.
Lee is an expert wallflower, but
the novel is as much about Lee's
observances of others as it is about
Lee herself. Upon arriving at Ault
School she becomes overly concerned with superficial appearances and loses the confidence she
once seemed to possess. She over-
analyses everything and makes herself invisible. She has a witty
humor that can occasionally be
glimpsed when she comes out of
her shell, but sadly she does not do
so enough.
As the years pass by, Lee experiences a diverse array of relationships with  teachers,  friends  and
"Each of the events are characterised by Lee's
wit and painful lack of self-esteem but her
classmates, as well as a horribly
dragged-out crush on the most popular boy in the grade. Each of these
events are characterised by Lee's
wit and painful lack of self-esteem
but her insecurity dragged on to the
point where I wanted to pull her out
of the novel and shout at her to
have some respect for herself.
Fortunately, Sittenfield gracefully ends the novel just as Lee's over-
analysing and insecurities begin to
become overbearing. By the end of
the novel, Sittenfield has twisted
many of the stereotypes Lee applies
to her peers over the years in a
manner that lights up the themes of
class disparity, and race and gender politics.
Sittenfield investigates these
weighty topics in a casual style that
is almost conversational, as if one
were listening to a friend reflect on
his or her past, but retains a sense
of eloquence, making Prep into
more than just an interesting
account of someone's high school
experience. Overall, Prep presents
an appealing story about coming-of-
age that makes a comment on serious themes and universal aspects
of the high school experience. Ol
Ry for FREE to London
when you buy one of the following Contiki tours
departing Canada hy May 23/06:
■ European Explorer
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departing Canada by May 23/06 - ask your
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S U B Lowe r Leve I
See the world your way-
M Cams Mms
Nominations Close
January |th, 2006, W1
^11 Candidates Meeting
Mandatory for ail candidates; Ejections re§ujations;
; and procedures vviil be reviewed
-*2&*-\ fi OpIMON/EdITORIAL
Wenesday, 4 January, 2006   THEUBYSSEY
With the arrival 2006 comes a new
opportunity for a few improvements around the ol' campus. Allow
us to suggest a few ways, resolutions if you will, that UBC should
adopt to kick off a new year.
When UBC indicated that they
would not be able to finish the
construction of the Olympic-sized
pool in time for the Pan Pacific
Games, a pattern began to emerge
in the news: UBC's inability to proceed with its projects on time and
on budget.
A year and a half ago, UBC
committed to hosting the biggest
swimming event outside of the
Olympics. Soon after Vancouver
was chosen for the 2010
Olympics, it was foreseen that the
market for construction was going
to hyper-inflate, making building
costs exorbitant UBC, however,
believed it would have the pool in
place for the games, and so continued to trudge forward.
This was until last month. After
encountering delays in starting construction and facing escalating costs
by almost 50 per cent, UBC was
eventually left with a price tag it
could no longer commit to.
Last November, UBC Properties
Trust warned that the pool would
likely not be completed in time,
regardless of the expediency of the
development, but UBC decided to
continue exploring eveiy available
option instead of calling it off. By
waiting until the last possible second, it has left Swim Canada in a
bind as they frantically scramble to
locate a new venue only eight
months before the event
The Marine Drive Towers have
encountered their own set of problems. Prolonged delays manifested
during the phase one portion of the
designs when UBC exceeded GVRD
building height limits.
Consequently, it was back to the
drawing board, and the project was
held off for another extended period of time. The building costs for
the future student housing spaces
inflated substantially because the
project was over-budget and UBC
stood to lose too much money if
they didn't hike the rates.
It has been estimated that the
next set of towers are almost $30
million over budget already. Who
do you think is going to offset the
costs this time?
Let us not forget the underground bus-loop that was supposed
to finish last September.
UBC hopes to have the revamped University Boulevard
completed for the university's centennial celebration in September
2008. The $100 million project is
one of the largest overhauls UBC
will be undertaking. UBC needs to
get its act together...and fast
Ambitious development plans
with unrealistic time-frames for
completion aren't the best game
plan in terms of increasing the
prestige of our university.
It's easy to oversimplify and
say that it is all UBC's fault. But
there are many factors that contributed to these embarassments,
some of which are out of UBC's
control, some not One thing is
certain: that lack of foresight is
creating a track record UBC
should not be proud to flaunt.
And with the new ice arena slated for use during the 2010
Olympics, foresight is going to be
an important part of seeing the
ambitious project through. Little
information about the proposed
development is available and no
construction has begun. Yes, we
know the Olympics are four years
away, but we don't need another situation along the lines of the Pan
Pacific Swimming Championships—
you can't exactly relocate the
Olympics with eight months notice!
Follow through / Keep it up:
UBC is currently set to meet and
exceed the Kyoto protocol requirements. This is an incredible
accomplishment for UBC and
hopefully greenhouse gas level
emissions will continue to be lowered on our campus.
It's a new year, it's a new term—but
some students are returning to
classes without knowing any of
their grades. For those students
who maybe on the boarder-line
between passing and failing, how
are they to know if they should
rearrange their schedule in order to
repeat the possibly failed class?
Seriously professors, you put the
pressure on us to comply with tight
deadlines, can't you follow through
and provide grades to students
within a reasonable period of time?
And speaking of professors, the
pressure that is put on sessional
instructors is practically insane.
Who wants to grow up and be a
sessional instructor at UBC? We
don'tl Sessional instructors have
zero job security and earn a scant
$5,000 dollars per course taught,
which works out to about one-
third less than a starting high
school teacher makes. As a result,
they tend to work unbelievable
hours just to earn a living since
large amounts of iheir time—time
spent preparing courses, advising
students, and keeping current
with developments in their particular academic fields—are not
reimbursed or recognised by the
Ironically, many sessionals find
that they have no time for
research and writing, the very
activities that they need to do in
order to win placements as
tenured or tenured-track professors and get out of the unacceptable conditions of the contracts
the University is shamefully taking
advantage of. H
Ask Coach Steph
Ask Coach Steph is a bi-weekly
advice column appearing in the
Ubyssey. If you have a question
pertaining to fife management
career preparation, self
actualisation or just need
general advice email
Stephanie Tait is a Personal
and Professional Leadership
Coach who works with young
professionals helping them
create the lives and careers they
truly desire.
Dear Coach Staph,
I started university with great
ambitions about what I'd do with
my degree but now that I'm actually doing the work it seems impossible. Part of me wonders whether
I'm too idealistic and have set my
sights too high. Yet another part pf
me knows I'd really regret if I didn't
give my dreams a shot Advice?
Dear Evan,
Simply because the process of
realising your dreams has not
unraveled as you'd imagined does
not necessarily mean you should
turf your dreams, it might simply
help to adjust your perception.
Oftentimes when we set our
sights high we hit roadblocks or
experience perceived failure,
which makes us fear that we're
wasting our time and efforts on
something that may never happen.
As a result of our fear and frustration, we make a premature decision to give up. We take a few
unexpected curve balls thrown our
way as indications we were never
meant to, nor could we ever,
achieve what we once dreamed we
could. In so doing, we settle for
less than we deserve and are capable of achieving.
If you feel strongly that you
are meant to be doing something,
be persistent and give up the illusion that you already knew what
the road would look like on the
way there. Give it all you've got,
and while you're doing so, open
up to trying different strategies
than you had expected. If one
approach doesn't work for you,
take whatever you can from the
situation and look for new ways
of realising your dreams.
It can also be quite overwhelming to think about realising our big
dreams all at once. We're used to
getting so much of what we want
right away, like a hot meal, email,
clothes, etc. We get frustrated
when we have to wait ten minutes
for the bus! Big dreams don't work
out that way. They take time.
While keeping the big picture
in mind, focus on the very next
step you need to take. Try not to
worry so much about how it might
turn out in ten years, or even next
month. Put your attention on ways
you could move your dream forward to the best of your abilities
today. Sometimes our greatest victory comes right after om" greatest
That said, there are times when
adjusting one's dream is the right
thing to do. Before you give up,
talk it over with a good friend or
someone who really beHeves in
you. They might see potential you
don't. They may also see ways you
could use your potential that you
currently do not. II
If there was one thing
at ubc you could
change, what would
'The quaHty of the professors.*
—Jocelyn Nelson
Biology 2
'The rain.
"1 think the Hbrary work could be
done a Httie bit faster...it's kind of
an eyesore right now.*
—Allen Funston
Engineering Physics 4
"The parking, the price and the
—Darren Bromley
Materials Engineering Masters 1
'More school spirit.
—Lionel Leong
Engineering 2
■Streeters coordinated by
Claudia Li I
THE UBYSSEY  Wednesday, 4 January, 2006
Sports 7
Holiday Bonanza
by Megan Smyth
UBC women's rugby player
chosen for international
The CIS announced that UBC T-
Bird Rosie Cobbett will represent
Canada as part of the team heading to the Federation International
du Sport Etudiant World
University 7-on-7 Women's Rugby
Championships in Rome in August
The UBC women's voUeybaU team
won two games against the
Thompson Rivers Wolfpack and
begins regular season play on
January 13 against SFU.
The UBC men's voUeyball team
also crushed the Thompson Rivers
Wolfpack before the break.  The
men's T-Birds return to action on
January 7 in Calgary.
Over the break the UBC men's
hockey team played in two high-
profile exhibition games. As practice for the World Junior Hockey
Championships UBC faced off
against Team Canada and experienced a disappointing 8-1 loss.
UBC also played Slovakia and
pulled off a 6-3 win.
Men's basketball
UBC hosted the 2005 Accent Inns
HoHday Classic men's basketball
tournament from December 28-30
at War Memorial Gym.
UBC triumphed over the
Laurentian Voyagers and York
University, but lost to Ottawa on
the  last  day.  The  UBC  T-Birds
T-BIRDS AND TEAM CANADA: Competition got tough for UBC over the break, yinan max wang photo
return to regular conference play
on January 6 against Lethbridge.
Disguised T-Birds play in
The UBC women's basketball team
traveled to Cuba for exhibition play.
New team members Kaitlin Ward
and Leanne Evans were eligible to
play as the T-Birds played as a club
team and went by the name of the
Point Grey All-Stars. The women's
basketball team resumes regular play
on January 6 against Lethbridge.
Running T-Birds
UBC's cross-country team took
part in the Canadian championships at Jericho Park on
December 3. The UBC team
placed weU with many top 30 finishes. II
UBC sends swimmers to Commonwealth Games
by Tia Town-Schon
Ten UBC Dolphins swam their way
on to the Canadian Team at
Saanich Commonwealth Place
November 2 6-2 7.
Many UBC Thunderbirds, who
also compete as Vancouver
Dolphins, swam as Dolphins in this
event as the Commonwealth Games
includes athletes outside of university athletics.
Brian Johns, Brent Hayden, Scott
Dickens, Darryl Rudolf, Maya
Beaudry and Coach Tom Johnson will
represent Canada at the 2006
Commonwealth Games.
Brian Johns' return gives a great
boost to the National team. Returning
from severe shoulder problems,
Johns swam a strong 200 IM on the
final day of the meet According to
Johnson this event will give Johns the
experience he needs to improve his
200 IM to challenge the likes of
Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte.
In the   100m Butterfly Darryl
Rudolf qualified for bis first Senior
National Team. With experience and
confidence gained at the Summer
University Games this past August
Johnson commends Rudolf on not
only a great swim but also on being a
great team member. 'For years he's
always been in the shadow of Mike (T-
Bird Alumnus Mike Mintenko, who
recently retired) and has looked up to
him as a mentor, now he had the
opportunity and he took it It was a
great race and we're very excited.*
Dolphin Maya Beaudry, 17, made
her senior team debut This potential
T-Bird has a great future ahead of her
with strong swims in the finals.
The qualifying times for this
year were based on the top 30
times from the 2004 season, an
Olympic year. Due to the challenging time qualifications many swimmers are denied the opportunity to
represent their country and gain
international experience. 'Look at
Kelly Stefanyshyn, her time in the
200m Backstroke was only .19 [seconds] off the standard, but when
you include all the tied times in the
standings she's 29th. She posted
times she hasn't seen since the
2000 Olympics and she's denied
the chance to represent her country. The times seem almost like
elimination standards than qualifying standards,* stated Johnson.
The team benefited from an early
start to summer training and
achieved top 16 finishes by almost all
the swimmers and many personal
bests. Johnson says "there is still
work to be done, but we did well." tl
Ubyssey Publications Society
&%&%$& Bifcii
«*¥ fc^iidtf^tfi
The Ubyssey Publications Society is the organisation responsible for publishing UBC's official student
newspaper, The Ubyssey. Its membership consists of all UBC students who have not opted out of
membership by completing an opt-out form. Members are eligible to run for, and vote in, Board Elections.
The Board of Directors oversees the administrative and business aspects of the paper including advertising,
marketing, distribution, the budget and finances, meetings of the Society, and management of employees.
The Board is not, however, involved in the editorial aspects of the paper. The editorial policy and content
of the paper is determined by the editorial board of the paper, elected by the staff in March of each year.
To become a staff member, those interested need to contribute to three issues of The Ubyssey and attend
regular staff meetings in order to get voting rights and the right to run for an editorial position.
Term is February 2006 to February 2007. Directors attend approximately 20 Board Meetings through the
year in addition to serving on Board Committees. No previous experience with newspapers or the UPS is
The positions up for election are THE PRESIDENT and 4 DIRECTORS AT LARGE.
Nomination forms are available at the Ubyssey Business Office, SUB 23 (basement). Completed forms must
be returned by 3pm, Monday, January 9th, 2006.
Elections will be held in conjunction with the AMS elections January 24th to 27th, 2006.
For more information, contact Fernie Pereira at 822-6681. A'X.x
Early in the new year VCC-Clark Station
becomes the last stop on SkyTrain's Millennium
Line, and another major addition to the
regional transportation network.
jsg,       \       ASr'Jj&,?^  _
SkyTrain service runs seven days a week, from early
morning until late evening, with trains running
every 2 to 8 minutes. The service offers convenient
transfers to an extensive network of buses, SeaBus,
and West Coast Express commuter rail services.
TransLink's new 84 bus route
is a limited-stop service,
running Monday to
Friday between ,
VCC-Clark Station
and UBC every 15
minutes. !
"/*W- '


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