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The Ubyssey Feb 3, 2006

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Array Pride UBC
|-M**i****^wM»*^iW**^/r*iV'^**i"***iMi'^M**w***#i^^ t
*0 http://www.prideubc.com
vr     ■  it -!»
vol. 87   no. 33
spit roastin* tidbits since 1918
that's so heteronormative
harper, Campbell, sullivan and
keystone, or wouldn't it be
great if we could afford to eat
i dream about my wedding
lipstick lesbian: one woman's
experience with queering
fag hags: girl meets boy but
boy loves boy
ally-building 101
spring shower?
broken future
blind date
the chain-mail eclogue
on relationship lingo
mourning my teenage years
transgression: escaping the
bonds of the binary system
privileges of being "properly
welcome! you're connected
dear new president
■   ^
:: Ashley Dunne
a comments i post comment
Faggot. Queer. Gay. Dyke. Butch. Lesbo. Fairy.
These are, according to many, the ultimate
insults. They can be bad enough when they're
wielded against members of the queer
community in hatred or contempt but there is an
interesting phenomenon which has seen these
words undergo a frightening metamorphosis.
Surprisingly, they no longer simply refer to
sexual orientation.
Their common colloquial use has taken on a far different, and
arguably more sinister meaning. Nowadays, among youth as young
as elementary school students "That's so gay." is, in fact, a familiar
pejorative statement that means less that something has aspects
of or relations to homosexuality than it seeks to imply that the
thing in question is uncool, bad or stupid.
2? comments I post comment
If you have never felt yourself second-guessing which
washroom to use in the SUB you have probably
completed a hundred surveys or application forms
without ever hesitating on the box marked
"sex/gender." Notwithstanding the complicated
differences between those two terms, the interchange
usage of which on questionnaires and other such
documents is problematic on its own, those familiar
M's and F's are no longer tolerable as the only choices for self-
\ijt «p*jflii^&T.^^
I almost felt sorry for him, sitting cross-legged in
his comfy Starbucks armchair: a yuppie who never
quite graduated from kindergarten. His hands were
buried in his ratty trench coat, which he held
firmly to his lap. His coffee sat securely in this
bundle, keeping warm but yet to be sipped. Mine
was already half empty. Silence. He darted his
eyes nervously from photograph to photograph,
spending two beats examining each. I was happy to poke my nose
out the open window to listen to the sounds on the patio. But
silence isn't for everyone.
Pride UBC
There are clashes all
around us. Clashes in
thought, political outlook,
opinion, class, viewpoint,
sexual orientation,
gender identity, aesthetic
tastes, race, religious
belief and even writing
styles. We are constantly
negotiating competing
discourses of thought,
ideology and most
importantly, histories.
please visit our sponsors:
PriiieU$C rt-esenti
FEB TO, 2*)06
Tix: S7 ih advance
SIO at tiie door
2 pieces of 111 req).
last updated 2006-02-03
6 comments; {postcomment
# of visitors: x^^£>^xy^^^y^i^^^:»i<
A clash of histories
There are clashes all around us.
Clashes in thought, political outlook,
opinion, class, viewpoint, sexual orientation, gender identity, aesthetic
taste, race, religious belief and even
writing styles, a fact to which my fellow editor can attest to. We are constantly negotiating competing discourses of thought, ideology and
most importantly, histories. This year's
issue is a clash: a fusing of recent student-authored pieces with articles
and news stories published in past
Ubyssey Pride editions dating back to
1985. The truncated archives serve a
two-fold purpose: first, to pay testament to past contributors and secondly, and more importantly, to provoke thought and critical examination
on the reader's part. The fact is that
history is not an essential process of
'moving forward' in a 'progressive'
process to an imagined Trek 2010-
global-citizenship harmony.
History is the present in our lives,
and the Ubyssey Pride edition is just
one example of a palimpsest model
to examine such clashes of histories.
While you read this year's issue be
sure to read the interjecting archival
material provided and juxtapose your
thoughts on the current articles. Look
not only at the out-spoken voices of
past contributors but observe the
excerpts as key viewpoints and
events in campus history. Note the
struggles that students, faculty and
staff have to fight against oppression
expressed in the archival material.
Note the blatant homophobic and
heterosexist attitudes that have been
expressed on campus and immortalised in the University archives.
Observe these clashes transposed
on these pages and ask yourself...
has anything really changed?
A personal thank-you to all those who
contributed to this year's issue, a tip
of the hat to those past contributors
and a wink to those future voices that
will clash with our own.
-Chris Walsh
As I sit down to write this editorial
I can't help but look through this
issue's clashing lens and see far
back into past issues, not to shy
away and shelter my thoughts in
that past written testimony, but to
see what we have done, see why
we're here and take a step forward. I can't help nonetheless to
see that while indeed we have
come a long way, we are still asking the same questions: the wary
'am I gay?', the shy 'what does it
mean to be bisexual?', the socially complex 'how do I know if I'm
gay?', the pregnant 'what are
trans issues?', the intellectual
'how am I being represented?',
the required 'where are my
rights?'...and so on.
This is why the backbone of this
CLASH issue is made up of history—of archives. Of historical bubbles of thought that will hopefully
show you what it has meant to be
queer at UBC for the past two
decades. They are words loaded
with history but more importantly
spoken with the air of permanence. This issue does not attempt
to update or outdate them, but
hopes to bring their ideas back to
the forefront and allow us to examine where we are, by seeing where
we were and where we're headed.
CLASH as a metaphor works
for the queer community because
we are clash. We embody it in our
lives; when we are denied rights,
when we are ostracised, when we
are categorised, when we are misrepresented.
CLASH overflows the issue, not
only in its literal meaning (fight,
argue, be at odds) but in its
semantic power: Chris and I (with
the help of our contributors) hope
to have created a wonderful
cacophony of voices, sexes, genders, and ideologies that finds its
only stable point in whoever is
reading it.
—Manuel Betancourt
Pride Flag Raising
Flag Pole Plaza, SUB North End
February 6, 12:30pm
Come and see if Martha shows
up again! Free admission.
Academic Lecture feat.
Barbara Findlay
February 6,4pm-7pm
Free Admission!
Queer of Colour Forum
SUB Council Chambers
February 7,11:15am- 12:45pm
Free admission.
Film:"The Making of a
Hybrid Male"
First Nations Longhouse
February 7,4pm-6:30pm
Free admission.
Ally-Building Workshop
SUB 245 Resource Group Space
February 8, 12pm-2pm
Information, interaction and
Free admission
Trans Workshop
SUB Rm 209
February 10, 1pm
Learn about trans issues,
discussion. Free Admission.
Kink Meet and Greet
SUB Rm 209
February 9, 12pm-2pm
Mingle with the Kink crowd.
Free admission.
UBC Circle K Volunteers is putting on
a Pancake Breakfast Fundraiser for the
Stephen Lewis Foundation, a charity
helping African children affected by
AIDS. Wed, Feb 8 @ SUB Partyroom. 7
??? 11:30am. BE THERE!
U.S. jails! Picket Action Monday Feb.
13. U.S. Consulate 1075 W. Pender for
more information: www.vancubasolidarity.
com/freethefivevan.htm Come out and
call for justice for 5 anti-terrorist Cubans
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for one season only-in excellent condition-
cost S35.00-call Maggie @604-324-6045
housing for February or sooner. Seeking
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other females. Must be in university area,
in Kits, West Point Grey, or Dunbar
(north of 45th, west of Balsam roughly).
Aesrhetic environment, in the S550/ renr
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Candidates should possess graduate
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teaching experience. Positions are part-
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remuneration. Interested? Email resume
to andjKiPprepl01.com
on-campus, student-owned, non-profit
bike shop! New & used bikes, parts,
storage accessories, bike repairs and bike
repair instruction, tool use, bike storage
and volunteer opportunities. On the "
north side of the SUB. 604-827-7333.
Graduate student interdisciplinary
conference. CALL FOR
SUBMISSIONS! Due Feb 3rd to
conference@gss.ubc.ci details: http://
GRAD STUDENTS. = The Vancouver
Society for Sexuality, Gender, and Culture,
a non-profit society, seeks members for
working committee and board member
roles. This is an extraordinary volunteer
experience for Grad students in the area
of Health, Counseling, Education, or
Business. Contact: Michael. VSSGGf?
telus.net or (778)837-1575
World for Odyssey of the Mind, a
program designed to encourage problem
solving in school children. Must he able
to attend training sessions in Burnaby.
Email odysseybc@gmail.com for more
Or just haue an announcement
If you are a student, you can
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For more information,
the SUB (basement)
Che tlfyiftgeq
Friday, 3 February, 2006
VoL.LXXXVn  N°33
Pride Issue
Manuel Betancourt
Chris Walsh
Editorial Board
coordinating editor Jesse Marchand
news editors Paul Evans & Eric Szeto
culture editor Simon Underwood
sports editor Megan Smyth
features/national EDITOR
Bryan Zandberg
photo editor Yinan Max Wang
production manager Michelle Mayne
volunteers Colleen Tang
research/letters Claudia Li
The Ubyssey is the official student newspaper of the University
of British Columbia, it is published every Tuesday and Friday
by The Ubyssey Publications Sodety. We are an autonomous,
democratically run student organisation, and all students are
encouraged to partidpate.
Editorials are chosen and written by the Ubyssey staff. They
are the expressed opinion of the staff, and do not necessarily
reflect the views of The Ubyssey Publications Society or the
University of British Columbia. All editorial content appearing in
The Ubyssey is the property of The Ubyssey Publications Sodety.
Stories, opinions, photographs and artwork contained herein
cannot be reproduced without the expressed, written permission
of The Ubyssey Publications Sodety.
The Ubyssey is a founding member of Canadian University Press
(CUP) and adheres to CUP's guiding prindples.
Letters to the editor must be under 300 words. Please indude
your phone number, student number and signature (not for
publication) as well as your year and faculty with all submissions.
ID will be checked when submissions are dropped off at the
editorial office of The Ubyssey, otherwise verification will be done
by phone. "Perspectives' are opinion pieces over 300 words but
under 750 words and are run according to space. "Freestyles" are
opinion pieces written by Ubyssey staff members. Priority will be
given to letters and perspectives over freestyles unless the latter is
time sensitive. Opinion pieces will not be run until the identity of
the writer has been verified. The Ubyssey reserves the right to edit
submissions for length and darity.
It is agreed by all persons pladng display or classified advertising
that if the Ubyssey Publications Sodety fails to publish an
advertisement or if an error in the ad occurs the liability of the
UPS will not be greater than the price paid for the ad. The UPS
shall not be responsible for slight changes or typographical errors
that do not lessen the value or the impact of the ad.
Room 24, Student Union Building
6138 Student Union Boulevard
Vancouver, BC V6T 1Z1
tel: 604-822-2301
fax: 604-822-9279
web: www.ubyssey.bcca
e-mail: feedback@ubjrssey.bcca
Room 23, Student Union Building
advertising: 604-822-1654
business office: 604-822-6681
e-mail: advertising@ubyssey.bcca
business manager Fernie Pereira
ad sales Bemadette Delaquis
ad design Shalene Takara
There was a war. Catherine Hart and Johanna Yaworsky were
the first casualties, joined by Candice Okada and her brother
Boris Korby. ColleenTang was captured at Karshkovost, where
artillery fire by Pau! Evans and Yinan Max Wang was rendered
useless by superior airpower. Megan Smyth defected to the
enemy, and soon formed a secret alliance with Kellan Higains
and Champagne Croquer (a pseudonym she was hiding from
Jesse Marchand, a sex-trade worker who had risen to the top
of the mafia, displacing Simon Underwood. Michelle Mayne
and Eric Szeto had joined Simon the night of his ouster.They
fought alongside Manuel Betancourt, Chris Walsh and Claudia
Li at Schrobisher Bay, but were lost when Captain Bryan
Zandberg failed to bring his ship to port.. MIA: Amanda
Reume, Paul Sutton, Susanna Quail. Heather McCaw, Cam
Cavender, Kim Kano, Gemma Woticky, Rachael Sullivan, P.
Comeau, Nicole Maunsell, Evin Taylor.
Canada Post Sales Agreement
Number 0040878022
I ©..©.©   T.HE..UBYSfSEY FrWayi 3; February, 2006 Pride UBC 3
That's SO heteronormative'
Faggot. Queer. Gay. Dyke. Butch.
Lesbo. Fairy. These are, according to
many, the ultimate insults. They can
be bad enough when they're wielded
against members of the queer community in hatred or contempt, but
there is an interesting phenomenon
that has seen these words undergo
a frightening metamorphosis.
Surprisingly, they no longer simply
refer to sexual orientation. Their common colloquial use has taken on a far
different, and arguably more sinister
meaning. Nowadays, among youth as
young as elementary school students,
"That's so gay," is, in fact, a familiar
pejorative statement that means less
that something has aspects of or
relates to homosexuality but that
seeks to imply that the thing in question is uncool, bad or stupid.
The pervasive implication is that
homosexuality is in fact uncool, bad
and stupid...which is obviously categorically untrue. This is clearly an
insidious homophobic sentiment that
seeks to construct homosexuality in
the minds of young people as a thing
insult I came to the conclusion that
the colloquial appropriation of words
connected to homosexuality has to
be stopped.
After all, now that we're all (at least
in a perfect world) intelligent, open-
minded, and accepting university
students who look down on homophobia and seek to uproot its influences, it's obviously time to replace
this colloquial symbol of oppression
and hatred with... a new word in
order to insult, humiliate and other
our friends and those we don't like
(did you really think that I'd seek to
Personally, I find it impressive given
the sheer number of its syllables (six
in total). As with all polysyllabic words,
using it will undoubtedly make you
look smart. But thankfully, it will also
make you sound progressive, open
minded and accepting... once those
you use it against figure out what it
means. That's because being 'heteronormative,' unlike being a 'faggot',
'queer', 'gay', 'dyke', 'butch', 'lesbo' or
'fairy' is ACTUALLY a bad thing and
therefore in all ways a proper insult.
Heteronormativity according to
Wikipedia refers to the social and
to be feared, detested and ridiculed.
Not only does it encourage and normalize hatred, but it also creates a
hostile climate for those who are part
of the GLTBQ community. Indeed, it is
so pervasive and normalised that I
have heard many people who are
open-minded and supportive of gay
rights use it themselves. After hearing
just such a person using such an
Engineersadvocate ignorance and discrimination
-  ^ . *    '       ' -.A*       \,\*'    ,   -„ v *
"Homophobia is the usual response of normal people towards those ;
who practice deviate sex. It is not wrong to want to alienate these
mutants as they are an embarrassingly vocal minority"
—from the Fred Tab former engineering publication
deprive you of that particular pleasure? I assure you, I'm not that cruel).
When trying to come up with just
such a word, I had a brief window of
brilliance during one of my English
classes. The word: heteronormative.
political forces that seek to uphold
the narrow-minded belief that all
human beings fall into "two distinct
and complementary categories, male
and female; that sexual and marital
relations   are   normal   only   when
between two people of different gender; and that each gender has certain natural roles in life." Such horrible, heinous and thoroughly despicable attitudes stigmatise relationships
that do not fall into such limited
parameters and marginalise people
who do not conform to 1950s
anachronistic ideas of gender roles.
Thus, (irony of ironies) it is indeed
heteronormative for someone to use
the word 'gay' as an insult.
And that my friends, is why heteronormative (or the catchy shorthand 'net' thought up by our dear
editor Mr. Betancourt) is truly the ultimate insult. Because who would really want to be called something so
intolerant and boring? And if anything
is uncool, bad and stupid—it's definitely attitudes of that sort.
So, remember the next time you're
about to say, "That's so gay," be
reminded that by doing so you're
insinuating that being gay is a bad
and distasteful thing (which of course
it isn't) and anyways, "That's so het,"
just sounds cooler—which is essentially what everything comes down to
anyways doesn't it? s
Harper, Campbell, Sullivan, Keystone
or, wouldn't it be great if we could afford to eat?
It's Saturday morning, five days after
the federal election. I just took the
Svend Robinson sign out of my window. It's among many of Vancouver's
things we're getting rid of, as we prepare to break up with this city at the
end of the summer.
This has been a bad year, kids.
Our student union, city, province and
country have shifted, right, and
although you may not agree, that's
really bad for queers and trans people. And yet, no one's really talking
about how much this sucks, quite
possibly because there's no way to
talk about the disheartening turns
we've taken. As always, it's best face
forward and hopeful re-affirmations
that things are working, society is
progressing, oppression is ending.
As weird as this might sound, one
of my first childhood memories is
when Svend Robinson came out
(yeah, I was a weird kid). It was a
really formative moment in my
upbringing: first of all, at five years
old I knew I was like him, and hearing my parents talk about how courageous he was to do something so
arrested for lying in front of a bulldozer in an attempt to prevent clear-
cuts; he is a man who heckled
Ronald Reagan, who in the 80s was
withholding AIDS drugs and pursuing some of the most aggressively
anti-gay legislation we've ever seen,
during a parliamentary visit. Svend is
someone who stood up when he saw
injustice, and wasn't worried about
pointing out the ways in which our
government and legal system sys-
temically fail at representing and
supporting women, people of colour,
and queer people.
Maclean's magazine, now edited
(how fittingly) by the extremely right-
wing Kenneth Whyte, released a
cover story in December called
"Svend Him Packing," and named all
the qualities I listed above bad,
unruly, and those of an undignified
parliamentarian. My grandmother
read it (she's 88, and otherwise a
darling) and chastised me for supporting him. Maybe Vancouver
Centre is filled with too many people
who listen to their grandmothers, or
just people who see dignity in the
pride parade display this year that
lauded Dr Hedy Fry as a healer of our
A Year in the wake of foil disclosure
li 1989-02-1
Rick Hiebert says
"The only way people will know who we are is by us knowing who we
are to them." Svend Robinson.
beneficial for queer people let me
know that the part of myself I could
not yet name was going to be okay.
But the similarities between Svend
and I don't stop at sexual identity: he
is a man who vehemently supports
the right-to-die; he is a man who got
parliamentary system. It seems that Dr
Fry and the rest of the voters in Centre
who may be interested in having rights
have forgotten that the Liberal party
used taxpayers' money to fund legal
challenges against gay marriage for a
decade from 1993 onward until the
Supreme Court said "no more".
Lesson learned: don't vote the
way your grandmother does. Your
opinion on what makes a good politician and the kind of representation
you need is probably quite different.
Anyway, the AMS election results
came out last night, and we have two
openly queer members of the
Executive. Kudos. But let's, for a
minute, and as masturbatory as this
may be, compare these two with the
two openly queer people who were
locked out of spots for which they
vied in 2005. Karen Ward and I were
both extremely out, and extremely
left, having fought vehemently
against tuition increases, and pointed out the many ways in which
University policy specifically targets
queer and trans people. But we were
also interested in poverty and how
students had to sacrifice food and
medicine to pay tuition, and how
queer and trans students who have
rich parents who hate them are
unable to get student loans even
though they've been disowned. The
system isn't working, there are things
we need to speak out about. We did,
and it wasn't good enough.
Folks, you just elected a
President who didn't even bother to
put a platform together. I think it's
great that Kevin Keystone is openly
gay, but if his Presidency will consist
of parroting Spencer Keys' remarkably uncritical policy, then we've
gained nothing.
And you know, this isn't the first
time we've had lots of queer people
on the Executive. In 2001, it was
three out of five, but you'd never
know because they were all in the
closet. So now it seems as though to
get elected, you have to put your
queer politics in the closet. What shit
is this? At the student level we're
replicating the same ineffective, centrist system, electing people who
uphold our parents' ideals of "political dignity?"
We can only be queer if we keep
our sex in the dark, so what does
'queer' mean if the sex is taken out?
Sam Sullivan has a lesbian niece, but
would be happy to sign off on developing condos on trans sex trade
worker's strolls on the Downtown
Eastside. Who is letting us do what?
Or, and just a quick reminder of
something we call "democracy," who
are we letting say what we can do?
Now kids, don't worry. The
Conservatives may have won, but
nothing's going to happen. They
need the Bloc to pass any bills, and
so no money bill is going to kill social
services, and no one's going to be
able to take away our "rights." We've
elected an ineffective government.
Wait, which one? Oh yeah, AMS,
city, provincial, and federal. I guess
that means stability, and everyone
seems happy enough with the status
quo. Society's getting better, right?
Shit, I'd better go. Fido's calling.
They want to cut off my phone again, s
I CAN NOT CONDONE ANY HOMOSEXUAL ACTIVITIES, letter by daryl morse os.19.1986
< Done 4
Pride UBC
Friday, 3 February, 2005 t T*M5 UBYSSEY      CD
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Lipstick lesbian?
One woman's experience with queering femininity
I almost never wear makeup
because I am too damn lazy and
I like how I look without it. I don't
really know how to use makeup,
it's expensive and it's annoying to
have to check for smudges and
Yet when I go to women's bars I
find  myself thinking  that lipstick
would   be   fun ^.^	
and sometimes I
even remember
to take the extra
five minutes to
find my one tube
of lipstick and
apply it. This
never happens
when I go to "straight" bars.
Why do I only feel comfortable
wearing lipstick to lesbian bars,
and not straight bars? Why does it
feel safer, when there's so much
skepticism about and exclusion of
"lipstick lesbians" (I hope that's an
outdated term, at least when used
pejoratively), and heterosexual
norms assume makeup?
I don't wear makeup in the
straight world (and get flak for it
sometimes, mainly from my mother). It's not the norm in the queer
women's world, so all of a sudden
I do it. But I honestly don't feel like
I'm enough a visible part of the
queer world that I need to resist it.
It wouldn't be resistance, it would
be non-identification. And I do
want to identify with that world, on
my own terms, of course. Initially, I
worried that it was a need to dis
tance myself from queer culture
(whatever that is), but that just
doesn't jibe with how I feel.
I was never comfortable with a
straight femininity located in the
compulsory heterosexual model.
As a teenager, I wore men's shirts
when I could because I wanted to
prove that I was different. I didn't
wear make-up (especially after I
found  out  how  hard   it was  to
Watch for Dykes
1 jMr m
Faith Jones says,,,
'The butch, predatory, or reformable lesbian characters are
misrepresentations based in our culture's standards."
apply), skirts or dresses, or anything pink. I wouldn't shave my
legs. I went out of my way to try to
prove that I didn't care about my
looks. It was probably a good
thing that I avoided wearing pink:
it doesn't look good on me. But as
I started studying feminist theory
and being around other feminists, I
started to realise that my rejection
of all things feminine was rooted in
a kind of misogyny which devalues
anything feminine, and encourages identification with masculinity
in order to succeed. Little by little,
some of the things I had rejected
started to interest me. First, long
wrap skirts. Then, shorter skirts.
And then, I bought some lipstick.
I like the possibilities that queer
femininity opens up to me. This is
a conscious femininity, where I can
choose what I like and leave the
rest, where hairy legs look great
with a short skirt and lipstick. I can
understand that pink clothing is
probably a no for me, but pink
accessories in the proper shade
(like a scarf that it's time I should
knit myself) can be a yes.
I feel like this kind of conscious
femininity lets me express my
queer self more than an alignment
with stereotypical queer norms: I
      feel  more  dykey
:   when  I  put on a
.   skirt in my everyday life of going
'   to  school  or out
shopping  than   I
do in my androgynous jeans and t-
shirt. My skirt, and
confident    walk
says "hey, ladies" and I wink in a
way   I've   never   been   able   to
express before.
I am finally starting to see the
radical potential for femininity, the
importance of doing something by
choice instead of "giving in to the
patriarchy." It's not just for queer
women either: I know lots of
straight-but-not-narrow gals who
rock subversive and/or transformative feminine beauty, and femininity
is something that's being renegotiated by men and genderqueer
people too. These ideas aren't new,
but I think I'm finally beginning to
fully understand them. I like knowing this about myself.
However, it's all moot because I
lost my damn lipstick, and who
knows when I'll get around to buying some more, e
1     ^1 &i	
I   ^Jl^ClBHI
An extravagant party, featuring white
lilies and silk tablecloths, an abundance of food and drink, and most
importantly, a stunning bride—or
rather, two of them. I picture my
wedding as a day when friends and
family gather together to admire me
and shower me with gifts, a day
when I can buy ridiculously expensive shoes without a twinge of guilt. I
have already called dibs on wearing
"the dress."
Yet, I am conflicted. Marriage has
a history of patriarchy, racism, clas-
sism and social exclusion. For millennia, marriage meant the transfer of a
woman from her father's control to her
husband's. A few decades of social
change can't erase this legacy.
My father failed as an oppressive
patriarch. My mother earns more
than him and regularly disagrees with
him in public. She doesn't even use
his last name. In the 1980s, while my
mother was out negotiating union
contracts and intimidating governments as a high-profile labour leader,
my father bathed, fed and entertained his two young daughters. I
have seen that marriage can be an
equal partnership between two people, unconstrained by gender roles.
Clearly, marriage has made some
progress. Married couples are no
longer required to match in race and
k#wu& any
clash in gender. Many progressive
people argue that by expanding the
definition of marriage to include
same-sex couples, we can reinvent
marriage and free it from its oppressive past. Marriage seems poised to
take on radically new forms and
Such an argument, however, mistakes the fundamental purpose: marriage exists to accord legitimacy to
some and deny it to others. Marriage
defines who is in a legitimate family
and who is not. By sanctioning a certain type of relationship—in the past,
opposite-sex and same-race; today,
monogamous and life-long—marriage is used to censure all others.
It doesn't matter where we draw
the dividing line, whether we include
marriages like my parents', same-sex
marriages or polygamous marriages—the point is to divide. Married
same-sex couples prove they are
part of the "in-crowd," but they do not
alter or challenge the hierarchical
organisation of our society.
In Canada today, the most significant purpose of marriage is symbolic. There are almost no rights or
privileges that come with marriage
that common-law couples cannot
access. Instead of material benefits,
marriage imparts legitimacy for heterosexual and same-sex couples.
Why do we need the state's sanction to make our relationships legiti-
1*1 a
If w
mate? If Stephen Harper (oops—I
mean the Right Honourable Stephen
Harper) were to change the laws to
exclude same-sex couples from marriage, I could still hold my big party. I
could access my partner's pension
and medical benefits. We could file
taxes together and parent together.
We could even go to a notary and
draft a document stipulating terms of
separation for our partnership identical to those for divorce after marriage. Why do I need 155 Members
of Parliament to vote in favour of my
relationship? They won't be invited to
the wedding (well, except maybe
Libby Davies).
I know the history of marriage,
and I understand the politics. But I
just can't reconcile my ideals with
my aesthetics. I am plagued by fantasies of flowing gowns, fluffy cakes,
and mountains of presents. Am I
buying into a patriarchal tradition,
designed to keep women subordinate and restrict our notions of family to what is sanctioned by church
and state? Or would an inter-racial,
same-sex wedding subvert all these
oppressive rules and norms and
transform marriage into a new,
empowering ritual? I know I should
care about the answers to these
questions, but all I can think about is
whether pink or red lipstick would
look sexiest with a forties-style,
jewel-coloured, strapless gown. &
•1 *&*. * fwivAvwCC
ARE GENERALLY KEEPING IT TO THEMSELVES," john hall, codnsbllob, 02.i9.i992
"I love the word 'faggot,' because it
describes my kind of guy! You see,
I am a fag hag. Fag hags are the
backbone of the gay community.
Without us, you're nothing! We have
been there all through history guiding your sorry ass through the
underground railroad!...We even
went to the prom with you!"
—Margaret Cho
In her brilliant autobiography I'm the
One that I Want, Margaret Cho proclaims herself (amongst many other
things) a fag hag. Many of my
female friends are divided on the
use of the word "fag hag" to
describe their position in relationships with their gay male friends.
Some love and revel in the title,
whilst others reject this derogatory-
sounding appropriation. To my surprise, there is a large body of knowledge and academic scholarship
dedicated to the subject of the fag
hag, with Academic Search Premier
returning over a dozen essays. I
believe and advocate that fag hag
is a term of empowerment that celebrates the integral bond between
gay men and their female friends.
Before the emergence of the fag
hag in common mainstream discourse and media, (which I so
endearingly refer to as the Coming
Out Party of the fag hag of the
1990s) the term connoted stereotypical associations. The common
perception of the fag hag was
viewed as an overweight, sexless,
unattractive heterosexual woman
that held a deep-set sexual attraction to gay men. This traditional definition of the fag hag assumed the
woman contained a desperate psychological complex that led her to
believe she could convert her gay
male friends to heterosexuaHty and
refashion them as long-term sexual
Girl meets boy,
but boy loves boy
partners. Thus, through a combination of dominant media and pop
cultural references to fag hagness
of the 1990s (Grace and Karen of
Will & Grace and Margaret Cho's
popular comedy act and book I'm
the One That I Want among others),
the term fag hag began to brush off
its archaic stereotypes. In her article "Calling All Fag Hags:  From
Identity  Politics  to   Identification
Politics," Deborah Thompson elaborates on the stereotyping of fag
hags as a product of heterosexism
by claiming that the woman "substitutes non-erotic relations with gay
men" in response to her assumed
failed foray into having "real" sexual
relations with straight men. Today's
definition  refuses this essentialist
and demeaning portrayal of the fag
hag, with the straight-female friends
to gay men pursuing healthy sexual
and emotional  relationships with
heterosexual men. Further dismissing the pre-Coming Out Party fag
hag, image, lesbians,
bisexuals   and   trans
persons   of   diverse
races,   classes   and
gender-identities   are
free to call themselves
fag hags with pride.
member of the queer community.
Fag hag becomes a practical
reclaiming of a term that marries the
connotations of both the words
"fag" and "hag," referencing their
initial connections with camp.
Margaret Cho eloquently summarises this construction: "The marriage
of two derogatory terms, fag and
hag, symbolisfes] the union of the
world's most popular objects of
scorn, homosexual and woman,
creating] a moniker that most of
those who wear it find inoffensive,
possibly because it smacks of solidarity." Thus, the fag hag is more
than an Ally, she/ze is an unofficial
family member of gay men, emotionally investing in a familial relationship with a gay man.
For further reading into the history, politics and discourse of fag
Ally-Building 101
"rights are not given, they are taken"
Returning to the original reaction hags,  read  Stephen  Maddison's
to the term "fag hag" by my female Fags,  Hags and Queer Sisters:
friends, I am reluctant to formulate a Gender Dissent and Heterosoical
new term for this ever-important Bonds in Gay Culture (2000).
Brought to you by the Ally-Building
Workshop of Pride UBC
Ally: A heterosexual person who
personally supports and advocates
for equal rights and fair treatment
of queer people. Allies are an
important part of the queer community as they represent a position
of awareness and education of
issues surrounding the queer community and the visibility and support of such causes.
Some simple steps on how to be
an Ally:
1) Recognise instances of homophobia in society. Homophobia can
range from the belief in negative
stereotypes of queer people, the outward rejection
of people based on their
sexual orientation and
gender identity, to physical and sexual violence of
queer people.
2) Recognise homophobia in
yourself. Do you identify and think
of people only in terms of their sexual orientation or gender identity?
Do you believe sexual orientation is
grounded in sexual practice and
deemed as a "life-style choice?"
Do you believe that bisexual people are sexual orientation fence sitters and promiscuous?
3) Recognise heterosexism in society
and in yourself.
Heterosexism  is
ty3p**j^~^;s^$$^ based on a sys-
^^>yum^0i^i tern of assump-
tions: the "ideolo-
| gy" that everyone
 j is and should be
heterosexual and those who are
not are subject to discrimination.
4) Use inclusive language when in
doubt about one's gender identity
or referring to other people's gender identity. Respect and reflect the
language that others have chosen
to identify themselves with.
5) Reframe the inappropriate language of others and refuse to tolerate homophobic and heterosex-
ist attitudes in others. Identify and
explain to others why comments
such as "that's so gay" and other
derogatory jokes directed at
queer people are offensive and
6) Be aware and educated about the
resources available to queer people who have experienced any
forms of oppression. The Peer
Counsellors of Pride UBC, The
Sexual Assault Support Center,
Speak Easy, Positive Space
Campaign and the Equity Office
are just a few of the key
resources available on the
UBC campus. In addition, there are an abundance of groups and
organisations in the city
of Vancouver including
The Centre, GAB Youth
Services and Youthquest!
Homophobia and heterosexism
affects us all. Not recognising, educating and being aware of queer
issues devalues diversity and diminishes individualism in society. The
perpetuation of homophobia and heterosexism reduces people to a rigid
categorisation of gender- and sex-
based roles.
There are many other examples
available on how to be an Ally. There
are many steps one can take to provide support and nuturance to queer
people as an Ally. To learn more
about homophobia,  heterosexism
and the ways to combat them attend
the   Ally   Building   Workshop   on
Wednesday February 8 at 12pm in
the Resource Group Area located in
SUB 245. For more information go to
www.prideubc.com. d?
UBC Diploma in
Accounting Program
If you are a university graduate seeking a professional accounting
designation, you can fast-track your education through the UBC
Diploma in Accounting Progam (DAP). UBC DAP's curriculum is
recognized by the Chartered Accountants School of Business (CASB)
and satisfies most of the CMA and CGA program requirements.
Courses starting in May:
■ March 1, 2006 (International applicants)
• March 31,2006 (Canadian applicants)
Courses starting in September:
• June 5,2006 (International applicants)
■ July 7,2006 (Canadian applicants)
To learn more call 604 822 8412
or visit www.sauder.ubc.ca/dap
School of Business
If you have two years of appropriate course
work or a relevant science credential, this two-
year program at BCIT will allow you to earn a
Bachelor of Technology Degree in Environmental
Health. The program provides you with the skills
to enter a career in health inspection and
environmental health. In BC, health inspectors
currently earn from $46,000 to $66,000.
For more information on the Environmental
Health program and certification as a Public
Health Inspector, visit our website at
Information Session
School of Health Sciences at BCIT
Thursday, February 9
5:30 - 7:30 pm
BCIT Burnaby Campus
Building SE2, Great Hali
3700 Willingdon Avenue
To register for this free event:
The path you choose can make all the difference.
FOR AN "INCREDIBLE FAG DESTROYER" evelyn jacob, 02.13.1987
>**^*Mta^£a&E^arc£KlSN^^ S O O 6 pride UBC Friday, 3 February, 2006   THE UBYSSEY      CD
I almost felt sorry for him, sitting cross-
legged in his comfy Starbucks armchair: a yuppie who never quite graduated from kindergarten. His hands
were buried in his ratty trench coat,
which he held firmly to his lap. His coffee sat securely in this bundle, keeping warm but yet to be sipped. Mine
was already half empty.
Silence. He darted his eyes nervously from photograph to photograph,
spending two beats examining each. I
was happy to poke my nose out the
open window to listen to the sounds
on the patio. But silence isn't for everyone.
"Did you love your first?" It burst
through his lips like an emergency
flare. Immediately he looked
ashamed, stared down at his coffee.
He noticed it was still full, picked it
from its nest to take a sip.
I laughed. For fun, I asked: "My first
"Well." He looked annoyed.
My first time was in the bathroom at
a house party whose host I never got
to meet. I was madly in love with the
guy. "I'm a virgin," I told the yuppie's
right profile. "Why do you ask?" I honestly was curious.
"Did you go to Adam Romano's
party last night?" I didn't know who
Adam Romano was, and told him so.
"Well. I went and I got really drunk. So
drunk! I don't even remember what
happened..." His "what happened'"
ended his sudden burst of enthusiasm, trailing off into tense silence.
I'm so proud
David Brindte says,..
Imagine that it is 1977. It was a place to be gay, for Saturday Night
Fever and Saturday night queens. What has changed? We've come
from disco to...disco. Fashion has come from horrid polyester and
faded designer denim to...horrid polyester and faded designer denim.
Now, you're nobody if not defined in a code that John Nash couldn't
crack no matter how beautiful his mind-GWM 29 6'1" 180 br/br pecs
abs r/t top.
"So," I said, because I knew he
wasn't finished talking, and I don't
care about the small talk, anyway. "So.
Did you lose your virginity?"
"I don't remember!"
"You don't remember?"
"It was so dark, and I was so
"Did you use protection?"
"I think so..." He began chomping
on the rim of his styrofoam cup. It
made a pattern like party streamers.
"But what am I now?" For the first time
he looked me in the eye. It made me
nervous. He was supposed to be the
nervous one.
"You should probably get checked
for STDs," I said.
"Am I a virgin?" He looked down
again, now carving things into his coffee cup with his fingernail: a happy
face, what seemed to be a fish, little
stars. He was waiting for an answer.
We started walking back up
Church Street toward the subway. By
now he was talkative enough, chatting
about school and family and little gay
things that are more conventional on
first dates. I thought about Andrew,
how silly we had been, spearing each
other like the rubber tips on the ends
would actually protect us; we were too
young to know not to demand satisfaction. I couldn't start to explain how
the duel always ends, killing the other
person without saving yourself. You
both die, I should have told him. Then
you get up and keep on walking.
When we arrived at the subway
entrance, he still seemed animated
enough to me. My apartment was just
next to the station. I offered him my
number; he took it. Anxiously, he said:
"I still don't know what I am!" I offered
that he seemed well enough defined
to me. To put his mind at ease, I added
that he was now in a rare and wonderful state of limbo.
"You can lean either way just a bit
and fall totally in or out of virginhood."
He knew I was making fun of him.
"So how come you're still a virgin?"
he asked finally.
I took him up to my apartment, took
off his clothes, had sex with him. To
make his decision easier: now it would
be better informed. Me, I'm always
happy to lose it.  c?
en future
They haven't seen each other in a decade. It
does not seem as if that much time has passed
between them as they spot each other at the
restaurant but you can read it in their faces. There
is a strange familiarity, and yet an uncanny knowledge that they are indeed complete strangers.
How can they not be? They have spent the past
ten years away from the other. Not one email. Not
one phone call. No communication has bridged
their lives. And yet, here they are smiling awkwardly across the room.
After a prolonged handshake they sit down,
they examine each other closely. They don't
speak. Out of pride. Out of guilt. Out of love. It
would also seem that they are sizing each other
up. They try to read each other's life by paying
close attention to the other's face. As if scars
and wrinkles framed a vibrant tableau of the ten
years passed.
B breaks the silence first. How have you
The sheer triviality of the question fuels M's
feeling that this is, after the phone call a week
ago, a victory. One that has since lost meaning
on relationship lingo
the night you offered me the word "boyfriend"
I thought it would flutter aimlessly from your mouth to the floor
two scribbled signatures at the foot of a crinkly legal document
I accepted, unaffected
until you dropped it on me like my favourite quilt
heavy and warm
makes me want to sleep in tomorrow morning s>
but which he will treasure even if nothing else
comes from this lunch. He thinks back: How
much was he willing to give up all those years
ago to have this? To have B seek him out? To
have B want him back? There can be no other
reason, he thinks to himself, as to why they are
here this particular day. After a decade M has
finally won. Like he knew he would. But that
was ten years ago. That battle was forfeited
back then. Why then can he not help but
smile? B takes his smile as the answer to his
question and continues.
You look good. This, M can't let go by unanswered. Thank you, I know. M smiles with that
sense of vanity which B said he loved but probably always envied and therefore hated. You don't
look bad yourself, how have you been? It is not
reciprocity. It is retaliation.
Taken aback by the bluntness and the hostility B hesitates in his attempt to explain why he
would conjure up this farcical encounter ten years
overdue. M refuses to accept there is actual
rationale behind the events of last week: A
chance encounter in the street: spilt latte, nervous
laughter and then, instead of a hasty good-bye B
had asked for his number. Later that week, the
scattered phone call: Hi, I'm so
glad you picked up. It's me. I
want to see you. How does
Thursday sound? The hand he
so needed back then was finally
being offered and his twenty-
one year old self would never
have forgiven him if he had let
this encounter pass.
But why? He has spent the
past ten years moving away
from him, from this, from that
"us." Why then, is he here? M
glimpses at the possibility...and
then notices that he is being
expected to speak.  I asked;
Genderf uck; The Joys md Feats ol Pushing
Imagine if the compulsory heterosexuaHty system broke down, the gender roles that
were assigned to your body at birth became disconnected and everyone had to find
their innate perversity. Women could look, act and talk like men and men could take all
the "feminine" stuff and behave like women. There would be no woman hating, no gay
bashing or any other kind of punishment gay, lesbians, bisexuals and sex radicals
suffer now.
what have you been up to? At this moment in time
it would seem that M's book, his failed relationships, his addiction to painkillers, his mother's
death and other petty details of his life post-Bare
He thinks back. This exact moment when
they gaze into each other's eyes is a moment
contained and restrained by that last
unsavoury kiss that, though full of promise
was hopeless and mouthed 'good-bye'.
Despite desperate and delayed attempts to
undo what had unravelled them, that one
evening in front of the hospital would be the
last time M and B were in the presence of
each other with the archaic idea of that
ephemeral "us" in their minds. The waiter and
the two glasses of water brings them back to
the moment. Gone is the moonlit university
campus and reality takes the front stage
again. Here they are, ten years later, begrudg-
ingly in the presence of the love that permeated that lapse of time between the then and
the now. M is lost in these thoughts again and
only vaguely listens to what B says.
Until he hears that one word: married.
M chokes on his water.
B stops talking. He was expecting a reaction and seems pleased at the result though
his mouth wishes to cover the guilt-stricken
grin. The world stands silent as M tries to
digest this information, tries to compose his
self and hide his feelings.
He never won after all.
He doesn't want to stay and hear how they
met at his most recent workplace and how he
is from Brazil and how his are the best waffles
he ever had and how he is an expert in aromatherapy and goes for runs every morning
and how they finish each other's sentences
and have spent the last year living together
and how his friends and family love him and
how they are working together on a collaborative e-business venture and...M stops himself
from continuing an imaginary grocery list of
qualities B's soon to be partner must have. He
leaves the restaurant because this way he can
shake it all off. If he never meets him, he will
never exist and M will always be, in his imagination, B's perfect match; his soul mate, his
twin. Even if he did let him go ten years ago,
even if he will never have him again.
This is not how my story is supposed to end-
Lights are turned off and M types away restlessly. He will create an ending that may have B
rewriting his story with an 'I do' but will have M
write himself into a romantically tragic hero even
if the only witness of his tragedy will be
himsetf...and you, my dear reader.&
THE UBYSSEY   Friday, 3 February, 2006
Pride UBC
Spring showers
I had every intention of completing
one last chapter before heading out
for a run in the cool, quiet of the night.
I was on a roll, completely absorbed
in the material before me. As I flipped
to the next page, I shifted in my seat
and caught a glimpse of her out of the
corner of my eye. It was no surprise
to see her there. In fact, it would have
been alarming to have looked up and
not seen her. Before her, I never
dreamed such a connection could
exist between two people. I watched
her for a moment
without even realising; this happened
quite often. Most of
the time, however, I
would catch myself
and smile, content
in knowing that I
had a rather wonderful reason to
smile. The mere
thought of her would elicit a feeling as
though the sun had finally burned
through the clouds after days of dismal rain.
This time I took in a deep breath as
I smiled, watching her piece together
another lecture for one of her classes.
Every so often she'd pause and pinch
her lips together, contemplating what
to add to the next slide of her presentation. There was nothing special
about what she was wearing —your
typical stay-at-home, comfy t-shirt &
shorts outfit—but for some reason or
another, I could not take my eyes off
of her. I shifted on the couch once
again as I lifted my book back up to
its original position. Like being able to
detect the slightest change in your
own heartbeat, she would have eventually noticed the pause in my routine
and turned her head to look my way.
She seemed to have fallen into a
good rhythm herself, and I didn't want
to distract her from her work. So I went
back to the lines of my text. After
reading the same line three times over
with little comprehension, I gave up
and continued watching her from
behind my book.
Her beauty still amazes me; she is
completely unaware of her power to
mesmerise me. I take in every contour
of her face, every golden highlight in
the waves of her nut-brown hair. I am
not surprised by any of her facial
expressions  or gestures,  whether
she's adjusting her glasses, tucking a
loose strand of hair behind her ear, or
frowning in concentration at something she's just read. Had she been
my professor while I was in university,
I would have been mildly infatuated,
to say the least. Perhaps being two
years her senior grants me the maturity to avoid such infatuation, but it
does not stop me from possessing
generous admiration. Above all, it is
the realisation that I had finally fallen
for someone holding the same moral
values and appreciation for family that
Queer is a state of mind by Kent Hurl
Kent Hurl says...
Honestly, I don't want to believe that all religions are patriarchal, hate
fostering institutions that teach criminal ideas, but I can't help it when
I hear pathetic jokes like, "I thought it was Adam and Eve, not Adam
and Steve."
sealed my fate to hers.
It is extremely comforting knowing
your partner completely understands
you on any given level, like knowing
you'll always have someone right
beside you, holding your hand no
matter what the conflict. Never before
had all the variables of the 'relationship equation' fit so perfectly. My
heart was flooded with an overwhelming mass of emotion. Although the
throbbing began to ease, there were
butterflies in my stomach, and it still
felt as though my heart would burst. I
exhaled quietly, careful not to interrupt
the scene playing out before me. I
thought back to the vacation we had
taken in North Carolina almost a year
after we started dating. It was an
amazing reunion, filled with wonderful
memories as we became better
acquainted with one another. That
was the last summer I spent away
from her fighting forest fires. We
talked quietly as we lay snuggled up
in bed with the sound of the ocean
and the cool, salty air coming in
through the open balcony. My
thoughts had suddenly jumped to
another moment during our vacation,
this one in the shower after a day at
the beach.
Just as if it had happened only
yesterday, I can recall how smooth
and firm her body felt as my hands
made their way over each lovely
curve. Her hands felt sensually strong
as they made their way over my body.
She kissed my neck as she caressed
my body making it impossible to resist
putting my lips to hers. Despite the
closeness of our faces, I'd catch
glimpses of her hazei green eyes,
long wet hair and marvel in her beauty. Reaching down in hopes of discovering that she was as turned on as I
was, rewarded me with the most
exquisite sensation on my fingertips
and the unmistakable, exhilarating
sound that came with her breath in my
ear. Caught in a moment of increasing
passion     every-
 ~- - --   thing else around
us had completely
I smiled then,
brought back to
reality by the
woman sitting
across  from  me
 I   as she  shifted in
her chair. It was
almost as if she had sensed the
scene playing out in my mind. I couldn't suppress the laugh that slipped
out as I remembered how we were
interrupted by the loud "SNAP" of
plastic breaking. In the heat of the
moment, her grip had become too
much for the small soap dish
attached to the wall of the shower
stall. She stopped what she was
doing at the table, looked over at me
with a cute grin on her face, head
cocked to one side and asked, "What
are you laughing about babe?" I
couidn't help but laugh again, and it
was contagious.
I watched her as she got up,
laughing at me and shaking her
head. She looked so cute in her long
shorts, eyes sparkling as she continued to ask what I was laughing
about. Tears started to build in my
eyes as she made her way towards
me, partly because of the laughter,
but mainly because I was again
blown away by the amount of love I
felt for her. "Do you remember the
time...in North Carolina...and the
shower?" I asked her with a grin of
my own. I sat up and made room for
her as she stopped in front of me.
"Yeah I do!" she said eyes wide and
smiling. She leaned over, braced herself on the back of the couch and
kissed me. Then she whispered in my
ear, "How could I ever forget..." and
we continued to remember. i£p
It only drizzles here.
Nobody even notices the rain because
their umbrellas have become prosthetic limbs
even the plants seem slower to soak up cold droplets
shrugging leaves at Vancouver's grey sky.
Do you remember the time we thundered
through rumbling Toronto in rain so warm and thick that
we could hardly breathe or see where we were running
blind and washing down Yonge Street
grabbing onto each other's arms like lightning rods.
I only think of you on days like this
when uninspired rain raps on my window
I wish it could rip through my thin wiry umbrella
and thunder would rattle the mountains. S
queer, a or tv (lawr) -•'..-..
a. Strange, odd, peculiar, eccentric, In appearance or
timmmr.A^tf^ suspicious,
dubious, queer fellow, an eccentric person .,*.... r
b. Of a porson (usu. a man): homosexual Hence, of
things: pertaining to homosexuals or homosexuality,
ortg.U*S \  .'.'"--".
.'    y    KfcW*y Wkts, oc4TT
The chain-mail eclogue
On our last night, we should have gone further.
Not that we hadn't. Already, we had strayed far enough:
Strathcona is not the 9x12 room where we had been.
We should have gone by staying,
instead of staring, me going, you following.
Nothing is solved by moving east.
We should have stayed in that little corner on the coast:
going in is always better than going out.
You were right. I was tired. And you wandered, anyway.
You didn't want to leave me out there where we didn't know.
Thanks for that, but doesn't that mean
we'd fall apart if we'd stayed close?
("Of course," you'd later say, but how was I to know?)
I'm sorry for shacking up with Rosalinde (for all the Rosalindes).
If I had only known, as you had well known then
that the rocks and soil, trees and caves,
be it the Far North (still laughing about the name) or below 16th
was where we (and thus, I) had needed to be.
You always watched me so very closely —
then you were my Foucauldian nightmare, but it's strange
how you miss being documented so completely.
I'm finding it so hard to notice the contradictions:
the closeness makes you lazy. How I'd walk to you
(when now I'd do anything to run to you)
and you'd let me know what little piece of information
I'd inevitably forgotten.
Is a neglected heart more like a mind without a short term memory,
constantly, traumatical ly, putting away everything you'd get (steal?)
from a granted-taking me?
See the need for going in? (Well, you always did).
The storms are closing in. I swear, it's been raining for six months.
I guess you can't complain about the lightning fast approaching
when you've encased yourself in chain-mail.
I guess no one can blame you for trying to remove that shell
piece by piece, placing each in your top drawer
(or my drawer, as you said it had become). ,     . ,-..■    ...>
"That's too small a drawer," I protested, "for everything you'll have to take off
You smiled. "No, just large enough."
So take me there, to the first grassy plain you can find below 16th,
and lie me down on the blades still wet from the just-ceased rain.
I could never forget your lips hard on my neck,
or the way your hips get lost under mine —
smaller, yes, but none too delicate.
This is the place where we should be —
like before, but not in the city. More like what I'd promised you.
"I've changed." I'd grow, somewhere beyond beneath that moonlight's glow.
We'd kiss. (You'd like it). And when we finished, I, to you, alone would
"Ye gods of love, that pitie lovers payne...
It is [thee] Hobbinol, wherefore I plaine[!]"
(You wouldn't like this. It's pointless, you'd say.
You'd rather I just lie down
and watch the weather report.)
Tell me what I need to do to prove all this to you!
Is there a way to change my magnetic polarity?
Is the iron really the answer? May I be a blade to ice?
Just because you're in the tower sporadically
doesn't mean I feel you any less
(even though, now, you no longer watch at all.)
My sclerotic heart cannot stand at the coast
(the 9 x 12, my mind's grassy plain)
and reverse time's malevolent productions.
You have wandered. Best of luck with Rosalinde,
and here I breake my oaten pype. fi1
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OF FABRICS (LEV. 19: 19) AND THE TRIMMING OF ONE'S BEARD, peter t. chattaway 02.13.1996 «'"""'"'Siie iSc J          Friday,,J ^^^QL^QtlL^JMMJfflS^IX
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IN IHtAlntb, rtflUAY, rcUnuHnY 111
Mourning my
teenage years
In the last year or so, I wanted to
relive my craving for lesbian
affirming imagery. It must have
been a couple of weeks after
watching the entire first season of
The L word in less than 72 hours.
My always resourceful and cinema
savvy girlfriend suggested All
Over Me a movie with the actress
who plays Alice on The L word. In
any case, we rented the movie
and settled in for a night of young
hip teenage love 'that dares not
speak its name.'
The movie is cute. It's about a
girl who likes her best friend, but
when an over-bearing boyfriend
comes between them, she—the
main character—sets out to find
other girls that might share her love
of roller skating and guitar playing.
She finds one girl who plays in a
punk band and has crazy pink
dreads. They hang out one night
playing music, drinking beer and
just generally being coy but before
the night is over, they kiss. The
awkward teenage sexual tension
that these actresses evoke in the
scene triggers powerful memories
of my own teenage life. But my
memories are different, heterosexu-
ally different. This makes me wonder, what would my teenage years
have been like if I acted on my
attraction to women?
My very first lesbian kiss happened in a gay bar, in my second
year of university with my first girlfriend. It should have been countless other girls (age appropriate of
course!) who were my friends; it
should have been the girl who
often shared my bed because she
lived outside the city. In this one
moment reflected back to me
through the TV there were countless experiences that I knew were
gone forever, never to happen in
my lifetime again. I was sad about
all the missed opportunities and
chances to share hidden and
secret moments with women and
girls  my age.  The tension and
desire that I worked so hard to
hide, contain and push deep within me.
This realisation was also followed by a pang of anger, because
my high school (and really any high
school for that matter) was not
going to be the place where I
explored my attraction to women
because I knew it was a dangerous
place to do so. Instead, I worked
hard to shore up my heterosexuaHty by dating boy after boy and
being promiscuous. But I vividly
remember lusting after girls
throughout my entire high school
experience, in high schooi i bided
my time, I was cautious; I never let
my heterosexuaHty slip. I made my
decision to wait for university—I
knew through various forms of
media, that's where I believed the
lesbians lived...that's where I could
be one.
A funny thing happened once I
got to university. I discovered a new
sexual identity that allowed me to
explore sex and love with women,
not as a lesbian, but as a bisexual
women. This meant a negotiable
understanding of sexuality, one
without limits where I didn't have to
try so hard to pick one over another. While I know I was privileged to
be able to choose when to explore
my queer tendencies, not all teens
are afforded this choice, nor are
they always able to access
resources, like those I found
through the university.
Watching All Over Me reminded
me of the things that I did not feel
and explore as a teenager.
Looking at my beautiful partner of
nearly four years and realised that I
didn't need those experiences to
understand just how important she
is to me and just how content I was
in my life.
Postscript: Three months after
watching that movie, I moved more
than halfway across Canada to pursuer graduate studies here at UBC.
My girl and I are on a new adventure, together, even though we're
thousands of kilometres apart, fi1
SEX IS INTRINSICALLY POLITICAL, paul sdtton 02.O6.soo4 THE UBYSSEY   Friday, 3 February, 2006
Pride UBC
9   €=>
escaping the bonds of the binary system
If you have never felt yourself second-guessing which washroom to use in the SUB you
have probably completed a hundred surveys
or application forms without ever hesitating on
the box marked "sex/gender." Notwithstanding the complicated differences between
those two terms, the interchange usage of
which on questionnaires and other such documents is problematic on its own, those familiar M's and F's are no longer tolerable as the
only choices for self-identification.
Gender diversity is not something that
you can ignore. Consider the most stereotypic woman or man that you can imagine: is
that you? Why not? Your definition of each
gender category is flexible and you recognise that different people take up different
performances of gender. There are many
people who know that the construct of
'opposite' genders, masculine/feminine,
male/female, or man/woman does not have
room for their own identities. While some
adhere to the expectations of their cultures,
others transgress the "gender rules" and
embody masculinity or femininity according
to what they feel is right for them; whether
doing drag, 'passing' as a member of another gender category, or taking medical steps
to change their bodies to express their inner
selves: these members of our community
bravely explode what it means to be women
and men.
Every time another form requires you to
check a box, think about what that box constructs about your identity; would it be
acceptable for there to be boxes reading
"young/old"? What about "short/tall" or
"White/Black?" Such oppositions do not
allow for the range of possibilities between
them to be visible or acknowledged as having worth. Having to make a choice of one or
the other pigeonholes a person into being
defined by the strictness of a category made
up by other people. In every instance where an
opposition like one of these is present, the supposed necessity or normality of such exclusive
categories is reinforced. Activism is required to
increase public awareness about the need to
challenge binary gender enforcement.
To bring about change there must first be
an increase in public knowledge. Try to recognize the exclusiveness of the terms whenever you encounter a survey, questionnaire,
or application form that requires a box to be
checked to indicate your gender identity. If
you feel that transgender, transsexual, and
genderqueer people are being marginalized
or made invisible, speak out! Sending emails
and letters, making phone calls, and engaging in honest conversations about the importance of recognizing gender diversity are
important means of activism, fi5
To Whom it May Concern:
I am writing in order to call attention to an aspect of your [online
survey/questionnaire/application form/contest entry form] which is exclusionary
and disrespectful toward an important and increasingly visible part of our population.
While you may not currently be aware of persons in your own life who live outside
of a binary system of gender (that is, that there are Men and Women easily
designated by their biologically disparate genitalia, behaviours, and appearances),
our society can no longer get away with ignoring the fact that these categories do
not work for everyone.
transgender, genderqueer, and transsexual persons face a great deal of ignorance
and intolerance in their daily lives. There are spaces and acts that many others take
for granted that can become unwelcoming or unsafe for those who live outside of the
binary: please consider such things as gender-segregated public washrooms, the
division of sport participation by gender, or the required use of gendered titles such
as Mr. or Ms. Such seemingly simple things ignore the continuum of sex/gender and
the existence of multiple gender identities.
In light of this, I ask that you reconsider the [mandatory] choice of only two options
(M/F) as a response to your request of [gender/sex] identification, if such a question
is necessary to have on your form, please allow at least for a selection of "Other" or
"None Specified". Ideally a place for the [respondent/applicant/entrant] to type in
their response would be provided.
Thank you very much for reading this letter. Your acknowledgement of gender and
sexual diversity will be much appreciated in ongoing struggles to eliminate
discrimination based on outdated concepts about human bodies and genders.
(In association with Pride at The University of British Columbia, Canada)
On the privileges of being 'properly' gendered
The following questionnaire checklist
is based on Peggy Mcintosh's article
"Unpacking the Invisible White
Knapsack." This list is intended to give
some insight into the privileges of
those who are, for the most part, considered to be properly gendered. This
is not an exhaustive list nor general
representation. Gendered privilege is
experienced differently depending on
a given situation and the people
1. Can you be guaranteed to find a
public bathroom that is safe and
equipped for you to use?
2. Can you be sure to find a picture of
someone who resembles you in physical characteristics somewhere on a
magazine rack?
3. Can you be reasonably sure
whether to check the M or F box on a
4. Can you be reasonably sure that
your choice of checked box on such
forms will not subject you to legal prosecution of fraud or
of identity?
5. Can you assume
that your genitals
relatively conform
to portrayals of
'normal' bodies?
6. Can you be confident that your health
care providers will   i	
not ask to see your genitals when
treating you for a sore throat?
7. Can you expect that others will not
try to dehumanise you by jokingly
calling you 'it'?
8. Do people often ask for accolades     when applying for employment?
or think they are doing you a favour for
using the appropriate pronouns for
your gender?
9. Can you undress in a public change
room without risk of being assaulted or
10. Are you able to discuss your childhood history without disguising your
11. Can you provide government
identification without risking ridicule for
your name? or legal sex status?
12. Do you need to prove your gender
in order for others to refer to you with
your chosen name and pronouns?
13. Can you wear a socially acceptable bathing suit?
14. Does the government require
proof of the state of your genitals in
order to change information on your
personal identification?
15. Are incidental parts of your identity defined as a mental illness?
16. Can you reasonably expect to be
sexual with your consenting partner of
choice without being told you have a
mental illness?
Loving my bearded self
Catherine McCollum says...
Overall, I am proud and happy about my transidentity, and
encourage others to break from the soialised notion that there are
but two genders, opening themselves to the concept that no human
experience, from our sexual orientation to our gender identity, can
be boxed and categorised, that we are too big and too fluid.
17. Can you be reasonably sure that
you are explicitly protected by the
Charter of Rights?
18. Can you expect that your gender
identity will not be used against you
[please check
19. Is your gender considered to be a
shame on your family?
20. Does your sexual preference
cause people to assume that your
gender identity is mistaken?
21. Are you eligible to adopt children if
you are unable to have them due to
infertility or a same-sex partner?
22. Do people assume that they know
who you are because they saw the
movie Normal or Boys Don't Cry?
23. Can you be sure to interact with
someone of the same gender on
most days?
24. Can you expect to find a landlord willing to rent to someone of your gender?
25. Do you see people of your gender
identity positively portrayed in media?
26. Do teachings about our national
and cultural history include people
of your gender identity?
27. Can you be sure that your children
will not be harassed at school
because of your gender?
28. Are you often asked to question
the roots of your gender identity?
29. Is your gender expression and/or
        physical body considered to be synonymous with your
gender identity?
30. Are you able to
speak in public
without risk of
being ridiculed?
31. Can you discuss feminism with
 i   others without the
state of your genitals being called into
32. Can you be reasonably sure that,
when dating someone new, they will
be interested in getting to know your
personality over and above your
medical history?
33. Can you be sure that your gender
identity doesn't automatically label you
as an outsider, an anomaly, abnormal,
or something to be feared?
34. Can you argue for gender equality
without your right or motivation to do
so being questioned?
35. Do the state of your genitals cause
you to fear violence should they be
36. Are your needs for medical treatments minimised by others who
compare them in priority to life saving surgeries?
37. If you are homosexual, can you be
sure that your romantic and sexual
partners will also be considered
38. Can you find a religious community
that will not exclude you based upon
your genital or hormonal structures?
39. Can you choose whether or not to
think of your gender as a political or
social construct?
40. Can you consider social, political,
or professional advancements without
having to consider whether or not your
gender identity will be called into
question as being appropriate for
advancement? fi>
NEGATIVE VALUE JUDGEMENTS, michabl standingwolf. 02-14-1997 - U Pride ygc Friday, 3 February, 2006   THE UBYSSEY      CD
0 u r CStad u at e P r o § ram
wi 11 put you on the
Dep artme .ri t , of:' B. iocheirtist ry v;!'. .-0 :^v.S^J'^v:.:'=ft,.v,^,
you're connected to.
You have a label
request awaiting
Please click here
This is an abridged version of my
profile on a now commonly used
"online directory that connects
people through social networks."
I will be the first to say it. I LOVE
IT. And I HATE IT. But instead of
ranting about it aimlessly, and in
light of this being the Pride Issue,
I will try and relate this to the
queer student population out
there, in here, everywhere.
In a modern era such as our
own, it seems we have come to
rely on profiles, stats, labels, and
ultimately masks to exist. To the
University we exist as student
numbers. To my fellow facebook-
ers I am my profile. To chatters I
only need to type my a/s/l and give
an inch count of the phallis. In a
world that is so enthralled with the
creation of an individual it is disappointing to see ourselves reduced
to virtual selves.
T.S. Eliot's "The Love Song of J.
Alfred Prufrock" always comes to
mind (this only happens because I
am a Lit student, but bear with
me): "There will be time, there will
be time/ To prepare a face to meet
the faces that you meet." This is
what we do all the time. Prepare a
face. I think we have lost ourselves
in cyberlanguage, whether it is
phrased as 'GWM 21 57" 130', or
appearing on an online profile or
as a projected self in an MSN conversation. I love language, and I
love the thought of identity creation
through language. What I find
problematic is the knowledge that
we are creating this is lost in mainstream population. What do I mean
by this? Allow me to reintroduce
my original example of the face-
book profile.
What does one draw from my
facebook profile? "English student", "single" "he
likes books." This
reduces my identity to a one-
that overrides my
'real' self. I am not
just an English
student; I am not
just a single
man... I am much
more than that.
How is this any different than having my personality being reduced
to labels like "gay" and "faggot?"
It is very easy to surf facebook,
myspace or gay.com or any online
directory where you market yourself and look for people with "similar interests," hoping to seek digital
compatibility. Isn't that what we do
in real life? Don't get me wrong, I
have no qualms if you spend your
Photos of Manuel: 103
Edit my Photo
Edit my Profile
My account
My Profile
My Messages
My Photos
My Friends
My Social Network
My Privacy
My Groups
My Events
Member since:
Last update:
Looking For:
Interested in:
Relationship status:
Clubs and Jobs:
Favourite Music:
Favourite TV Shows:
Favourite Book:
Favourite Movies:
Favourite Quotes:
About me:
Manuel Betancourt
October 29 2005
February 3rd
British Columbia 07
Accents, Books, Cuddling,
Films, Lacan, Martinis,
Psychoanalysis, Sex, TV.
Pride UBC, Pussy Posse,
UBC RezLife
Alanis M, Anna Nalick,
Madonna, Matchbox 20,
Desperate housewives,
ALIAS, Buffy the Vampire
Slayer, Friends.
Hundred Years of Solitude
Closer. The Hours, Moulin
"Oh I'm sorry, did my back
hurt your knife?"
"Hell is other people" Sartre
Well, how much time do you
late nights browsing through
searches and profiles and finding
that one girl with the interesting
photography website, or that boy
who puts up videos of himself
dancing, or that one poli- sci chick
who is into the same music as you
are. What I am concerned with is
the limits of identity creation
through language. What is more
frightening is how we are losing
that indelible line between our virtual selves and our 'real' selves.
What we need to pay attention to is
when the profile stops becoming a
On Privacy and speaking out
Anthony Berno says,,.
to 'know' Manuel through an online
profile any different than the societal attempt to 'know' the queer
community through reduction
Gay: tight jeans array this musical-theatre-junkie male individual
who enjoys disco music, diva
behaviour, wit and a side dish of
casual unsafe sex.
Lesbian: plaid wearing female
individual enjoys driving U-Hauls,
buzzing her hair, piercings and
gathering round a guitar to sing
political diatribes whilst indulging
in tofurky.
In online directories like face-
book I see the same behaviour I
condemn in other parts of my life:
prejudice. In cyberspace, we are
left with no choice but to reduce
each  other to sex,  faculty,   age,
music  taste...   And  while  this  is
fine   when   you're   just   meeting
people,  we need to  understand
the implications of
such     behaviour.
Next     time     you
facebook message
someone   or   are
Another important point is that the gay community does not quite chatting with some-
exist. True, I have mentioned it myself in this very essay. You can j one wno you
visit it, speak with its members, and even life in its midst. It has a | thought was inter-
culture, it has art, it has distinct values and customs. Yet paradoxi-l estjng because of
cally, when you try to pin it down for analysis, it vaporises like the | thejr profile ask
Cheshire Cat, leaving only a mocking grin to hint at its presence. | yourse|f this- am I
1 truly    getting    to
symbolic version of us and is
acknowledged as if it was our real
I'm not going to lie. I don't really believe in meeting people
through facebook. It is not
because I think people are creepy
and could potentially be freaks,
but because I feel they can't grasp
who 'Manuel' is just from my profile. But really how is their attempt
know this person or am I just too
scared to go out and meet someone under physical circumstances? Perhaps we have lost our
ability to connect with people at a
physical level. Because we are
easier loved, veneered and complimented for our virtual creations
of self who look good on screen
even if you are on the other side of
that screen, s
Done I
t'\3r Pt&iiYtlXM%t   ^MWWl * '   ^ Vv3flA £t$&r? - -
Dear new president
An open letter to
UBC's future leader
So, you have undertaken the task of
being UBC's glorious leader. You
represent a large population of
undergrads, grad students, staff,
and faculty members. It is important
to remember that in a population
such as this, sexual orientation and
gender identity affects everyone,
even if/when they don't realise it.
Pride UBC is a resource group on
campus helping to promote sexual
and gender freedom, in whatever
form that may come in. (Amazingly
enough, this includes straight people and bisexuals. Who knew!) I
thought that I should familiarise you
with some of the resources on campus for queer and trans people.
Pride UBC is here to lobby the
University and student union administrations to enable queer and trans
people to live and study in a safe
and welcoming environment free
from harassment. UBC promises to
protect students on the basis of
race, ethnicity, sex, and sexual orientation (and the rest of those
things they must legally protect us
for because of the BC Human
Rights Code.) Granted, this code
would be more effective if we had a
Human Rights Commission.
If we examine Trek 2010, UBC's
vision of corporate global citizenship, we see this quotation, just
after Martha Piper's signature:
"This will entail equity in employment practices, a respect for social
diversity, attention to the conservation of resources, and ethical practices in the conduct of our professional and business affairs."
What they don't say is that this
statement means social diversity, as
long as everyone on campus has
money; conservation of resources, as long as there is enough gas
for the plethora of plant ops vehicles that seem to do nothing but
drive around all day and occasionally rearrange dead leaves; and ethical practices in the conduct of our
professional and business affairs,
unless you are a union out to bargain; administrators announce to us
that students have no rights on
campus under the Charter of Rights
and Freedoms because for some
reason this publicly funded institution is not actually public. Perhaps
since we are global citizens we can
apply for protection under some
sort of United Nations charter. But
really, what does this have to do
with queer and trans people at
Because there is protection for
queer people under the law, UBC
had to develop some system of
making sure we were looked after.
(Trans people, since the BC
Appeals Court ruling on Kimberly
full participation in university life,
that students experience, arising
from race, ethnicity, disability, gender and sexual diversity, and intersecting inequalities." This sounds
like a lovely little "unit" which has
A Yo&r In Bad Historians
- Karen Ward $ayi;;/ <,      A /    V • -«=; V * NV: ", >' %
: "Just because I'm a homosexual, don't think I'm anybody's intellec-
! tual. But then again, if I wanted to thrive in the academy, I'd have to
j change that tune, and start producing meaningful work instead of
j pointed critiques, workable ideas, and over-the-top parodies. And
| beyond those skills and a well-developed dislike of authority, I still
| need to make enough money to live and function reasonably, so I'm
I kind of stuck. Good thing this is just newsprint"
Nixon, apparently have no rights).
Since the Equity Office is not really
a student service (and full of liberally minded people), and the
Women's Students' Office did not
have the "right" people in charge,
along came Access and Diversity.
Now, what is Access and Diversity?
No one really knows, although they
tend to get annoyed when you
demand access to some diversity.
According to the website they
"...provide leadership in identifying
and eliminating systemic barriers to
been built into the massive bureaucracy that is UBC, except for of
course a few problems. There is,
nor has there ever been, a Race
and Ethnicity advisor. Numerous
people have applied, but no one
has been hired. The Women's
Advisor has been vacant since the
last one left (no doubt because she
was too brilliant for everyone else)
and the "unit" is struggling to keep
Disability Advisors. One has to wonder though, why we need so many
when students are continually told
they are not "disabled enough" to
access those services. Strange for
an office that promotes access and
diversity. I guess certain disabilities
are not "diverse" enough. But since
this is the Pride issue, I should mention something to do with sexual
and gender diversity, as I did point
out they affect everyone. There is,
amazingly enough, a Sexual
Orientation and Gender Identities
advisor, who identifies as a queer
woman of colour (neither a Women's
nor a Race & Ethnicities Advisors
has been hired. Coincidence? Got
to make you wonder). Since the creation of Access and Diversity and
the speedy hiring of the Sexual
Orientations and Gender Identities
Advisor (no tokenism there) students have yet to see gender neutral washrooms outside of the one
buried in the SUB (including but not
limited to the new Flex Building
Swing Space); nor an idea of where
the administration plans to house
those who do not fit into the Western
normative gender binary; nor do we
have services that can adequately
help a student come out at school,
or at home to family members.
Concerned Queer Global Citizen
The AMS is seeking an Executive Coordinator of Student Services for a one-year
appointment from March 1,2006 to February 28,2007.This position requires a
full-time commitment of about 35 hours per week. Remuneration for the year is
$18,668 and is open to all registered UBC students.
Position Description:
The Executive Coordinator of Student Services is responsible for providing
general supervision and guidance for the AMS Service Coordinators and their
Assistant Coordinators in the effective operation of the AMS Services. The ECSS
is also the main point person between the AMS Executives and AMS Services
and participates as a non-voting member at the Council and Executive meetings. AMS Services include SafeWalk, SpeakEasy, Tutoring, Sexual Assault
Support Centre, Volunteer Connections, JobLink, Food Bank, FirstWeek, Mini-
School, and Advocacy.
Duties & Responsibilities:
♦ Oversee the management and administration of all AMS Student Services
and facilitate the achievement of their goals in a team based and supportive
♦Ensure effective internal and external communications and promotional
campaigns for the various Services.
♦ Act as the liaison between the AMS Executive Committee and the AMS
♦ Liaise with University Administration on behalf of AMS Services on initiatives,
programming, and funding.
♦ Participate in various committees, including the Executive Committee,
Communications Planning Group, Safety Committee, and other duties as
assigned from time to time.
♦ Demonstrated team building skills and experience
♦ Comfortable and flexible in the role of mediator, initiator, and problem-
♦ Strong communications and presentation skills and a sense of diplomacy
♦ Supervisory/managerial skills with volunteers and employees an asset
♦ Understanding of workplace safety and equity issues
♦ Knowledge of the AMS services and resources
Only short-listed candidates will be interviewed for this position. Interested
applicants should submit their cover letter, with three references, no later
than Friday, February 3,2006 to:
Executive Coordinator of Student Services Search Committee
c/o Rm.238, Student Union Building
6138 SUB Boulevard
Vancouver, BC
■■■■■),(■■  11 n r - - r - A - -  i a ■ -    ■ i f - ■ f*f i "• * ""	
*:*&> 12
Pride UBC
fridayffi'F^hni^ry,. ?0Q6^.Tlie,yi¥SSlY...-.. <=>
Flag Raising at the Flag Pole Plaza North End of the SUB @ 12:30 pm
Academic Lecture feat, barbara findlay io BUCH A104 @ 4 pm - 7pm
Outweek! On the QT in the GSS @ 7 pm - 9:30 pm
Queers of Colour Forum SUB 2nd floor Council Cha
Fi'lrW: "The Making of a Hybrid Pale" First Nations
11:15 am -12:45 pm
- 6:30 pm
Queer and Ally Workshop SUB Rm 245 R
Wine and Cheese at the Chan Centre @ 7pm
Kink Meet
Out Louct feat
in SUB Rm 209
faming & Ivan
12 pm tH 2 pm
te at UBC Robson Square @ 7
itlaws Bqqr
in ihe SUB Rp
pat Jive music, da
i in ad^ancs or $1'fj®g
■ciig t.^.vrv'fiRSfrvor
■low se -of; t,;,ea 011|3 0.'


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