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The Ubyssey Jan 21, 2010

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Array WINS!
Once a year, a bunch of us Ubyssey editors trundle off to a place much colder than Vancouver
to consort with other student journalists across Canada. Drinks are had, things are learned, but
most importantly, we have an annual dance-off with our U of A newspaper rivals, The Gateway.
Before the dance-off, however, there is an awards ceremony in which we were presented with
three first-place awards for sports writing, photography and design. So, without further ado...
Congratulations Ian Turner, Keegan Bursaw, Paul Bucci and Goh Iromoto!
JANUARY 21, 2010
Paul Bucci: coordinating@ubyssey.ca
Samantha Jung: news@ubyssey.ca
Sarah Chung: schung@ubyssey. ca
Kate Barbaria : culture@ubyssey.ca
Jonny Wakefield: jwakefield@ubyssey.ca
Justin McElroy : sports@ubyssey.ca
Trevor Record: ideas@ubyssey.ca
GeraldDeo :photos@ubysseyca
Anthony Goertz: graphics@ubyssey.ca
Virginie Menard: production @ubyssey. ca
Katarina Grgic: copy@ubysseyca
Tara Martellaro : 7nultimedia@ubyssey.ca
Ashley Whillans : awhillans@ubyssey.ca
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AD TRAFFIC : Sabrina Marchand
AD DESIGN : Chibwe Mweene
The Ubyssey is the official student newspaper of
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It is agreed by all persons placing display or
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slight changes or typographical errors that do not
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Fioel Moeurs and Nicole Gall were tangled in
Ashley Whillans'octopus tentacles, while Chibwe
Mweene observed passively as he ate Tara
Martellaro and Katarina Grgic. Krittana Khurana,
Virginie Menard and Anthony Goertz decided to
disentangle the alliteration from her names. Laura
Tuovinen, Jamie Chan, and Michael Thibault took
pictures of these happenings, despite Keegan
Bursaw's constant cat calls. Anthony Goertz tossed
a football to Ian Turner, but missed and instead
took down Brendan Albano and Gerald Deo whose
fall knocked over Jason Jamison Parker but not
Paul Bucci. As per the trend, Kathy Yan Li observed
Trevor Becord too before recounting the events
to Sophie Baider. Kasha Chang and Austin Holm
overheard the conversation and giggled. Matt
Hildebrand and Kai Green tried and failed to disentangle the original victims of the tentacles, much
to the malicious delight of Hannah Lorena and
Ruben Tillman (not to mention Samantha Jung and
Sarah Chung) who proceeded to succeed where
she had failed. Johnny Wakefield, Kate Barbaria
and Cynthia Khoo congratulated everyone and out
of nowhere the Valkyries flew in.
Canada Post Sales
Number 0040878022
printed onc100%
University     (reeycledp.ap.er
help us create this baby!
Learn about layout and editing. Expect to be fed. • Every
Sunday and Wednesday,
KOERNER'S NIGHT • Join us for
open mic night every Monday.
Listen to the different flavours
of music, all while enjoying a
nice cold beer or a competitive
game of pool. • Every Monday,
8:30pm onwards. Koerner's
&MEAL* Like to play fun music?
Just want to listen? Looking
for a sense of community?
This is for all members of the
UBC community who want to
have a good meal and great
conversation. All meals are
home-cooked and are vegetarian-friendly. • Every Monday,
6:30pm-8:30pm, Chapel of
the Epiphany (6030 Chancellor
Blvd), more info revnathan-
wright@mac. com.
ARTISTS ON DISPLAY • Want a different take on Vancity? The collection features contributions
from six local comic artists
whose work provides a look at
life in Vancouver. • Continues
until Jan. 31, Rare Books and
Special Collections in IKE, more
info at puddingsock.livejournal.
empty stomach and help fund-
raise for Science grad 2010! •
Jan. 25-28, 10:30am-5pm in
front of the SUB.
Participate in the on-campus dialogue about African issues •
Opening Night, 6pm-7:30pm, af-
ROMEO & JULIET* "These violent delights have violent ends." Expect
a brave and twisted approach to
Shakespeare's iconic story of lovers in a dangerous time frotm MFA
Directing Candidate Catriona Leger.
Drawing from the traditions of bouf-
fon, clown and cabaret, this theatre-
in-the-round production will tickle,
thrill and tantalize. Audiences will experience theatre as it was meant
to be-LIVE. • Telus Studio Theatre,
$15 for students, runs until Saturday,
Jan. 30.
This seminar will be given by
Dr Rob Van Wynsberghe, who
will be examining the theorec-
tical and methodogical underpinnings of the International
Olympic Committee's Olympic
Games Impact research program. • 12:30pm-2pm, War
Memorial Gymnasium Room
WORKSHOP • Dr Nathan Hesselink
and Mr Kim Dong-Won discuss
the history and meanings of musical hybridity in the twentieth and
early twenty-first centuries. The
event will conclude with a hands-
on Korean drumming workshop,
open to participants of all ages
and skill levels. • 7pm, Royal Bank
Cinema, Chan Centre, more info at
n. hesselink@ubc. ca.
DOLLAR DAY 2010 • UBC Dollar
Project hosts our fundraising
event of the year! Come by and
donate a dollar! Join with us in
showing the power of collective
action! Free raffle! Bring a mug
for free hot chocolate! Baked
goods and chocolate for sale.
Funds go to RainCity Housing
this year. • 10am-3pm, SUB
Main Concourse.
IN VANCOUVER!* Award-winning
radical sports writer Dave Zirin
is coming to UBC to speak on
the politics of sport and mega
sporting events. • 4pm, SUB
Room 205.
PIANO • Beginning with Denis
Gougeon's invocation ofthe sun,
piano-soleil audiences are then
taken on journey past each of the
planets in our solar system from
Mercury to Neptune. For the
second half of the programme,
George Crumb's monumental Makroskosmos II: 12 fantasy
pieces after the Zodiac carries
up past our galaxy and out into
the stars. • 8pm, Fairmont Social
Lounge, St John's College.
SEXY BACK* Koo Party and UBC
Dollar Project host a fundraiser dance for RainCity Housing
at Fabric! Prizes and giveaways! Girls dance off competition! Dress code: no hats,
hoodies, sweatpants. • 19+
event, 9:30pm-3am, Fabric
Nightclub, 66 Water St. Tickets
$15, Thursday Jan. 21, 10am-
3pm at the UBC Dollar Project
RELIEF EFFORTS • Triple H, a coalition of student groups from
across campus, together with
staff and faculty from UBC invite you to a discussion about
the history, the current situation and the future of the
country of Haiti and its people. • 2pm-4pm, Freddy
Wood Theatre, $5 minimum
BZZR GARDEN! • Meet the candidates running to be in your student government, one day prior to the opening of the polls!
Mingle with your opponents
and campaign to students
who never go out to debates!
Also available: samosas and
$2 beers! • 7pm-11pm, SUB
DEBATE • The Graduate Student
Society is hosting an on-campus debate between all nominees for the GSS elections.
Come meet your future executives and enjoy the free
food and beverages. One
free drink ticket will be issued to all in attendance. •
5pm-8pm, Thea's Lounge,
Graduate Student Centre
(6371 Crescent Rd), More
info  at  elections@gss.ubc.ca.
DEBATE • The Graduate
Student Society is hosting an
off-campus debate at the BC
Cancer Researc Centre between all nominees for the
GSS elections.    Come meet
your future executives and
enjoy the free food and beverages. • 12pm-2pm, Diamond
Family Lecture Theatre, BC
Cancer Research Centre
(675 West 10th Avenue, by
Heather), More info at elec-
JELLO WRESTLING • Science Week's
annual jello wrestling contest! Two
competitors enter the "ring", each
with a sock (provided by SUS) on
their right foot. The winner is declared
when one competitor has removed
his/her opponent's sock. Waiver form
required for participation. • 72pm-
1pm, SUB Ballroom.
COLD FUSION • On the last day of
Science Week, SUS presents
the biggest, baddest party of the
year with live performances from
State of Shock, the Veer Union
and Shell Provider. • 19+ event,
8pm-12am, SUB Ballroom, $8
tickets presold at the SUB Booth
in the SUB Concourse during
Science Week.
by the UBC Bhangra Club, this
is one show that combines
the sounds, sights and vibrancy of India in an entertainment-
filled night of entertainment.
All ticket proceeds go to BC
Children's Hospital. • Jan. 30,
6pm-9pm, Bell Centre for
the Performing Arts (6250-
144th St), $15, For tickets call
Harman (778-865-3216) or
Puneet (778-24-4235).
Later. Hear Dr George Bisharat,
Dr Mads Gilbert, Dr Joanne
Naiman and Dr Hani Faris speak.
•Alice MacKay Room, Vancouver
Public Library, 350 West
Georgia, 7:30pm, Free, RSVP at
MuslimCommunityCenter. com.
• Price Reduced. 2005 Acura
TL fully loaded, 56,000 klm. 4
doors, standard, white exterior, leather interior in good condition, $21,000. Contact Calvin
at calvin.magic32@gmail.com.
located at Scarfe on Main Mall
7:45am - 4:00pm (M-F)
Ubyssey Shameless Givaway
Get free tickets to "William
Yang's China" From Sub 23
Vancouver 2010
Sauder Exchange Cafe
located at Henry Angus on Main Mall
7:45am - 8:00pm (M-Th)
7:45am - 6:00pm (F)
10:00am - 5:00pm (Sat a Sun)
William Yang's
Feb 2 - 6, 2010 at 7:30pm
Frederic Wood Theatre, UBC
Photographer-storyteller William
Yang returns to a motherland he
never knew, the Australian-born
Chinese a stranger in his homeland.
Tickets $30/$24 at UBC Box Office 604.822.2678
$10 rush tickets at door for UBC students only
| Send us your events at eventsfyubysseyxa. 2010.0 1.2 l/UBYSSEY.CA/NEWS/3
"1 believe we can talk with the university to come up with a percentage
^ .     that would be more comfortable for both of us."
^_^_^               _m      ^^^^^                                                               — AMS presidential candidate Sean Kim, on the issue of tuition
M            til A fl
ASSOCIATE SARAH CHUNG »schung@ubyssey.ca
Kim wants to reach a
"mutual agreement"
You may have seen him behind the Career Services desk,
or running around organizing the biggest Arts-related career event, or leading a group
of first-years in Imagine Day,
or perhaps he's been your
Residence Advisor.
Sean Kim, a third-year
Political Science student is one
of four presidential candidates
for the AMS elections, and although his face may be unfamiliar to many members of
AMS Council, his involvement
in school clubs and activities
gives out a comforting aura of
your classroom pal.
We have to make
sure that all the
people in the
university are
"I have been involved with almost eveiything other than AMS,"
Kim said, adding that he thinks
being involved with student government is not the only way to be
'leaders ofthe students."
Kim considers himself to be
a leader—he was president of
his high school, Burnaby North
Mountain Secondary. He is now
involved with the Emerging
Leaders Program, which is where
he did the Reading Week Project
doing community service.
What are his plans? Reduce
book costs, tuition fees and food
costs for students. He also plans
to build a "Student Life Centre" to
better prepare students with finding careers after they graduate.
His campaign slogan,
"Innovation for the New Age"
represents his ideals to utilize
the internet and its applications
such as Facebook and Twitter to
send messages out to students
and also start using E-books to
"cut down costs and also promote sustainability."
"The era that we are in right
now is nothing like our parents
have gone through, everything
is 'E' nowadays," he said.
He's also big on consulting with all members of AMS
Council because "many brains
can work better than one brain."
"One of the main roles as the
AMS president is that we have to
work as a council. We can't voice
one person's voice, we have to
make sure [to] reach a mutual agreement within the council
where the whole idea is based
upon the student's voice."
Sounds easy, but hard to do:
Kim repeated this many times
during the interview without providing concrete plans
on how to reach this "mutual
With regards to provincial
lobbying, Kim also hopes on using a "mutual agreement" between the western universities
to compensate for the loss of
leaving the Canadian Alliance
of Student Associations (CASA),
a non-profit organization of 23
post-secondary students.
The same goes for tuition
fees. "I don't think going against
the administrators is the right
[thing to do right] now, I believe
in working with the administrators to come up with the solution," Kim said.
When asked about how he
would prevent the university
from removing the two per cent
cap on tuition fees, his response
was, "I believe we can talk with
the university to come up with a
percentage that would be more
comfortable for both of us."
He also believes that students
would be "more understanding" if they knew that tuition is
going to the "right place."
"Even if there is an increase, if
that increase is doing something
better for us, I think a lot of students will be understanding of
the fact."
As for the SUB Renewal project, Kim seemed to think still
that student consultations had
not yet been discussed.
"SUB is going to be used for the
next couple decades, we might get
something we don't want, that is
why I think that we should come
up with a step-by-step plan, making sure that student voice is hear d
and aim for something that students want," he said.
Perhaps Kim should review
the eight phase SUB Renewal
project timeline that already
plans a series of steps starting
from 2007 until the building
opens in 2014. And the fact that
we are currently in the process of
selecting architects and planning
a design.
He sympathizes with those
students who won't be seeing
the SUB that they are paying
for, but hopes that the "sense
of pride" will be "meaningful"
enough to offset the costs.
But in the end, making everyone happy is the critical goal.
"We have to make sure that all
the people in the university are
satisfied, not just one group of
people; therefore, I think [we
should] come up with a mutual
agreement." tl
Swift running for
the presidency
Forestry councilor has much experience, some of it outside UBC
jmcel roy@ubyssey.ca
The name Natalie Swift may
be new to many UBC students, but when it comes to
student politics, this Forestry
student has always been a
fast learner.
Born in England, raised in
Peterborough, Ontario, Swift
went to a large high school,
where, by her own admission,
she was your typical type-A, involved in everything from the
social justice group to women's
rugby. "Everything available, I
did it," she said.
After high school, she
decided to go to Fleming
College, an Ontario college
with approximately 15,000
full- and part-time students.
A political keener, she decided to run for president in her
first year.
"I just wanted to get involved."
Though she lost the election,
she wasn't deterred. While at
Fleming, she served in a variety of roles, from VP academic
to Board of Governors to eventually President, dealing with a
variety of issues.
"We had the lifting of the tuition freeze...and we had a faculty strike," she said. "Although
it was a small college, I was
dealing with large issues on a
large scale with other student
After graduating in 2006,
Swift took a year off, worked
in Tofino for an environmental group, and decided to
come to UBC in September
2007. She quickly immersed herself in AMS politics, becoming involved with
the Forestry Undergraduate
Society (FUS) and AMS
Council itself, including the
beginnings of the building of
the new SUB.
"I actually sat on the original
SUB Renewal Committee," she
said, "and was involved to the
point where the Memorandum
of Understanding [with the
University] was signed, so I
have a full sense of the history and development of the
Returning to UBC in 2009 after a year on exchange, Swift
quickly got back involved, becoming VP External of the FUS.
Sitting on AMS Council, she
and her main rival for the
presidency, Bijan Ahmadian,
differed on a number of votes
that came to Council—most
notably the motion to censure
Blake Frederick in November
for his bus loop press release.
While Ahmadian pushed for
censure, Swift voted against
it, a decision she looks back at
with regret.
"At the time, I didn't know
what I know now...I thought
I was making a decision that
was in the best interests of students, and that censure was
too harsh," she said. "It's the
easy answer to say 'yes, I would
have done something different'...but even then, censuring
him wouldn't have made any
Although it was a
small college, I was
dealing with large
issues on a large
scale with other
student unions.
Swift also abstained on a number of key motions that came forward to Council, such as the intention to leave CASA and the
creation of a seat for disability students. But she argues that
those abstentions were due to the
wording ofthe motion more than
anything else.
"I've seen a lot of poorly developed motions come to campus
this year," she said. "And it's hard,
you get put in a position where if
you vote no, you don't care, but if
you vote yes, it's not necessarily
the apropriate solution."
If Swift is to become the next
AMS president, she'll need to
convince students that she is
able to bring students together. She believes the AMS is the
ideal place to see that happen.
"I fundamentally believe
in the value of students coming together and taking ownership of their degree. And I really think the AMS allows us to
do that, not just of our degree,
but the entire university experience." tu
the city at 19
For many students, open-mic
Mondays mean a pint of the
house special and a medley of
mellow pub music to take the
mind off of the week. But for
third-year Political Science,
Philosophy and Economics UBC
Okanagan student Kevin Craig,
microphones and Mondays
mean something very different.
Every Monday, Craig takes
his place in the City of Kelowna
Council Chambers, where he
has worked ever since winning
the Kelowna City by-election on
November 28, 2009. At 19-years-
old, Craig is Kelowna's youngest-
ever city councilor.
"I knew that if I was able to outwork my opponents, I could pull
off a win," said Craig in a phone
interview. "I got out and did a
I ton   of   door-
I knocking, and
I it paid off on
I Election Day."
I Craig's get-out-
_i} , I the-vote strate-
^"1       I gy earned him
A «jl\^W     the support of
AMflB    28 per cent of
the electorate
COURTESY OF KEVIN     ^    ^    ^
putting him
past 14 other candidates, including second-
place finisher Todd Sanderson, a
chartered accountant who tallied
436 fewer votes than Craig.
After the by-election, Craig
underwent two-weeks of orientation, which he balanced with
writing his final exams for first
term. Since then, the other councilors have done tried to ease the
transition for him.
Craig's age has generated
some skepticism. Having won
his seat through an impromptu
by-election as opposed to a regular election, only 11 per cent of
the electorate actually bothered
to cast a ballot at all.
But Craig has worked hard
for years to gain experience
in Council's decision-making
"Since my first year at UBC-0
I arranged my class schedule
so that I didn't have courses on
Monday afternoons. So I'd go
and sit in council chambers."
With plans to settle permanency in Kelowna after pursuing
a post-graduate degree and a career in either politics or the private sector, Craig said that he has
a deep-seated interest in serving
the community.
"When we're deciding on
things that are going to affect Kelowna's landscape 50
years from now, I'm going to
be around. I have a very vested interest in making sure that
Kelowna 50 years from now is
just as great a place as it is today."
Craig wants to do long-term
strategic planning, and brings a
different perspective to the council that he says Kelowna needs.
"Kelowna is in a bit of a transition period....We're very much a
teenager of a city," he said.
"There's an openness to trying
new ideas and to embracing innovation." tu 4/UBYSSEY.CA/NEWS/2 0 10.0 1.2 1
Health sciences professionals are in demand. Get the applied skills
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It's your career.
Get it right.
Does Ahmadian have the
support of a silent majority?
He has vocal critics, but councilors are
split between the two candidates
Bijan Ahmadian has come under criticism from a number of
student politicians for being too
close to the administration. But
when it comes to AMS Council,
he actually has broad support.
In a survey done by UBC
Insiders Wednesday night, 14
councilors ranked Ahmadian
ahead of fellow presidential candidate Natalie Swift, while 13
ranked Swift ahead of Ahmadian.
To appeal to students, both
candidates tout their experience:
Ahmadian as a member of the
BoG, Swift as a former student
union president. Both say they
want to rebuild relationships
with UBC, the provincial government and student council.
But the most vocal of AMS politicians generally tend to be in
Swift's camp—and it has as much
to do with her as it does with
"I think that Natalie is the person who is most able to unite the
AMS after a year of divisive and
destructive policies, and I think
that Bijan is somewhat more of a
divisive figure on campus," said
Arts Councilor Matthew Naylor.
"In Bijan's case, the fact he's
been around for a while has precipitated an image of being a divisive figure, and in that case,
perception is reality."
The perception for many is
that he is too close to the university administration, a charge he
disagrees with.
"It does hold water with some
people, that's why it's there, obviously...but there are examples
where I've pushed back, and
pushed back quite heavily against
the university because it was better for students," Ahmadian said.
Swift's endorsement list is impressive. Among her supporters
are 2008/2009 President Michael
Duncan, 2007/2008 President
Jeff Friedrich, and well-respected former BoG member Darren
Peets. The Friends of the Farm
endorsed Swift yesterday.
For his part, Ahmadian
doesn't focus on endorsements
on his website. A video entitled
"Why Bijan?" shows Senate Vice-
Chair Geoff Costeloe and former
VP Academic Alex Lougheed discussing Ahmadian in a positive light. Costeloe, however, has
since said he has not endorsed
any candidate, while Lougheed
is actually supporting Swift in the
race and has asked Ahmadian to
take down the footage of him—a
request Ahmadian has refused.
"While his heart may be in the
right place, he is close and too on
board with the university's approach. The AMS and UBC don't
always have to work against each
other. But the AMS should not
be taking policy from the university and then just forwarding it
on and approving it," Lougheed
It may be why Ahmadian told
The Ubyssey, "I see myself here
as the underdog, the one that
really needs to work to get students who don't usually vote
and are commuter students to
vote for me."
Ahmadian brushes off criticisms from student politicians.
"Circumstances are what they
are. I don't reach out to typical AMS hacks, but people who
care about this campus, and
have put their confidence in
Swift sees Council support
differendy. "Ultimately what's
Council supposed to represent?
I think that says a lot. If AMS
Council is supposed to represent students, and councilors
who represent their students
constandy say 'you're going to
want to vote Natalie," then that
has some weight for it." vi
If at first you don't succeed, try,
try again.
At the end of last term, a
motion to remove both AMS
President Blake Frederick and
VP External Tim Chu from their
executive positions failed after it was revealed that such removal would contravene the BC
Society Act.
Under the BC Society Act, the
AMS Council could not remove
either Frederick or Chu from
their positions as executives
without going through a recall
procedure in which all students
would have a chance to vote, or
a referendum.
This referendum has now
been requested, and will appear on the ballot at the upcoming AMS elections at the end of
the month. Also on the ballot is
a question to change the AMS
bylaws to conform with the
current Society Act and allow
Council to take action against
future executives.
In the meantime, in Victoria,
a review of the Society Act in
question is also underway. The
act has seen only two reviews
since its enactment in 1920; the
last was in 1977. As part of the
review process, the Ministry of
Finance has opened up its first
round of public consultation,
in which all stakeholders have
until April 1, 2010, to voice their
concerns, opinions and suggestions about the current act.
The need for a review has
been clear for a long time. The
BC Law Institute started its own
review process in 2006 and
proposed their own updated
version of the law in 2008. The
current version of the act was
written when it governed only
8500 organizations, whereas
there are 26,000 that fall under it today. These societies
have also become larger and
more complex. The AMS, for instance, has a mandatory membership and as such, is one of
the largest societies in BC.
Even though the Ministry has
begun the consultation period,
it has not personally reached
out to the BC Societies. The
stakeholder letter is currendy
only available on the ministry's
AMS Council currendy has
no plans to participate in the
consultation round. But student senator Geoff Costeloe
thinks it would be a good idea
for the AMS to get involved. "I
think we would be a good case
study for the BC government.
I think we would want to play
some sort of role, even if it's
just a matter of submitting a
report," he said.
"It makes sense as the biggest
[society] that we would at least
be consulted at some level." tl 2010.01.21/UBYSSEY.CA/CULTURE/5
EDITOR KATE BARBARIA»culture@ubyssey.ca
& awkward
Although the arts community may have taken a knife to
the gut via the provincial government's funding cuts, the
PuSh Festival and the Cultural
Olympiad are keeping our
minds off of the impending
cultural disaster. Let's try not
to get too caught up in our future-freak out and enjoy the
next few months, because
there's some great stuff coming down Vancouver's theatrical pipes this spring. Here are
the shows I'd sell my internet-
persona's soul to see
Poetics: a ballet brut Jan. 27-30
"This wryly-constructed, genre-bending performance uses an ever-increasing catalogue
of common gestures that make up our everyday lives, like brushing back someone's hair...
these seemingly mundane gestures build to
a surprising conclusion that is delightfully unhampered by its performers' complete lack of
formal dance training."
Jan. 22—Feb. 27, Lost Lake,
Google maps tells me
it would take 29 hours
to walk from UBC to
the venue for The Only
Animal's latest show
MX, so all but the most
bad ass among us probably
ought to just suck it up and
pay the 20 bucks to take the special bus that leaves at 3pm from
Pacific Central Station on the
day of each performance. The
publicity promises "a frozen
fantasy, complete with a flaming tuba, a snowman death
scene and an explosive love
story that will melt the coldest
of hearts." The Only Animal
advises that you bundle up, as
the set is made primarily from
snow sculptures.
Jan. 29-Feb. 6, The Cultch
"Each audience member navigates an anonymous avatar...A
simulated city, BestLand, gradually develops as each of the
200 audience members add
their personal touch with game
controller in hand...BestLand
evolves and devolves as the audience clashes and collaborates while making personal, social and political decisions." A fusion of the Sims
and performance art? I don't
really know what more you
could want from a theatrical
buzzbuzzbuzz. com
Mar. 11-14, 17-20, Digital Media
Centre, 599 Great Northern Way
Short performances, a drunken party, DJs—this is how you
make art. "Twelve adventurous theatre companies deliver
twelve distinct performances
in continuous rotation. Flutter
from one site-specific show
to the next, with DJs, dancing
and more theatrical social networking." va
Brendan Albano is the president
ofthe UBC Players Club, so he at
least thinks about these things
to shove
An interview with
Executive Director
Norman Armour
A man in a bunny suit. Puppets in a to-
scale model of Auschwitz. Eating a slice of
pizza as a dance theme. Edgar Allan Poe.
Must be the three-week theatre marathon
that is the PuSh International Performing
Arts Festival!
Founded by Norman Armour and
Katrina Dunn in 2003, the annual festival
has hosted some of the most confounding,
unrelatable and provocative performances
from around the world. Last year's memorable shows included a comedian who
handed out "cum cloths," a movement
piece about the Cold War, and floating helium balloons which reflected lights onto a
projector while the dramaturg spoke about
her childhood in tones similar to Bobba
Fett. Hey, there's something for everyone!
All jokes aside, what is PuSh really about? What made Armour and Dunn
say, 'What Vancouver really needs is some
freaky shit?' In an interview from New
York, where he was making a last-minute pit stop before Wednesday's opening night, Armour explained that, "At the
root of live performance, for me, is the
notion of witness. The idea of being in a
room, something is happening, and you're
watching it happen...By what lens do you
watch something? Do you watch the world
around you?"
The festival has evolved, and gained
enough respect in the performing arts
community that Armour is now one of the
voices leading the charge against BC arts
funding cuts, and is considered by many to
be a powerful spokesperson who can connect with local audiences. Armour spoke to
that, saying, "There are things in the festival this year that really speak about values.
What do you believe in? What are you willing to fight for?"
This year, far more than in years past,
PuSh has to make a stand. The actors, producers, directors, stage managers, costume designers and audience all have
the same thing at stake: the continued
existence of a thriving, sustainable arts
community in Vancouver. The Cultural
Olympiad is taking off some of the burn
for the present year by funding hundreds
of individual shows, but when the Games
leave, what will be left? Armour hopes that
young artists don't flee to Toronto in the
next few years with the potential arts cuts
looming on the horizon. "It's a small irony,
but not an insignificant one that great work
is often created out of adverse conditions."
Thanks, Norman, I'll remember that, va
KAMP Feb. 3-6
"An enormous scale model of Auschwitz fills
the stage, with thousands of tiny handmade
puppets representing the prisoners and their
executioners...Actors move through the set
like giant war reporters, filming the horrific
events with miniature cameras and live video
The Shakespearean plow
horse, Romeo and Juliet,
which has been kicked
long past its death, is being staged by Theatre at
UBC in the Telus Studio
Theatre from January 21-
30. This time, however,
director Catriona Leger
has upped the ante to
include a transgender
Capulet, fire dancing and
accordion serenades. Our
Romeo, Jameson Parker,
gives the rundown on
his favorite theatre companies and venues in
1 Yorrick Theatre
2 Fighting Chance Productions
3 Main Street Theatre
4 Boca Del Lupo
5 Blackbird Theatre
Fighting Chance Productions
is most up-and-coming of
the Vancouver scene, artistic director Ryan Mooney
has been popular with audiences from Kits to the
North Shore with recent
smashes Rent, Dog Sees
God: Confessions of a
Teenage Blockhead and
Forbidden Broadway.
1 The Roundhouse
787   Roundhouse  Mews,
2 The Cultch
1895    Venables     Street,
3 Performance Works
7278    Cartwright    Street,
Granville Island
4 Pacific Theatre
7440  West  12th Avenue,
5 The Telus Studio Theatre
6265 Crescent Road, UBC
Designed as an experimental "black box," the
Telus accommodates several stage configurations,
which can be adjusted to
meet specific production
needs, with three levels of
audience seating. UBYSSEY.CA/CULTURE/2010.01.21
boom in Terminal City
Most of us have a particular
vision of opening night. The
curtain falls, and there is a
moment of hushed expectation. Then, a cascade of applause from an audience that
stretches off beyond the lights
and into the dark recesses
of the theatre. Now imagine
that same scene, but with the
sound of only a pair of hands
in an empty hall. Is this a tech
rehearsal? A financial disaster? The work of a particularly
awful publicist? For some, it is
a new approach to theatre, one
that is noticeably taking root in
Micro theatre, as the form is
being termed, abandons many of
the accoutrements of traditional
theatre: lights and sets, plots and
In Intimate History, which runs
February 1 to 6 as part of a micro
theatre series at the Cultch, each
person selects from a list of stories and receives ten minutes
of personalized, one-on-one theatre. In Etiquette, there is no distinction between cast and audience. Two attendees sit down in
a cafe setting, and have actions
dictated to them through headphones. The significantiy lower
operating costs of these Cultch
productions keeps tickets in the
$10 to $35 range.
Mixed media is also being
pushed to work harder and
farther in micro theatre, the
newest example being Best
Before, at the PuSh festival,
which lets the audience manipulate elements of a city
with video game controllers,
and the actors respond.
While micro theatre is a
unique way to tell a story, it
is also a reaction to the nature of long form theatre.
Reviewers have likened micro theatre productions, such
as the long running Chicago
show Too Much Light, to blog-
ging and channel surfing. It
remains to be seen whether
micro theatre will whet our
saturated appetites for the
idiosyncratic and weird, or
if it will simply become the
dinner theatre of the net generation, wl
Join us for 5 provocative dialogues with Olympic & Paralympic athletes who have used their celebrity to make a difference in the world-
distinguished speakers will join in a panel debate. Also join us for Peak Performance: The Path to Exceptional Athletic Achievement.
Is High Performance Sport inconsistent with Ideals
and Ethics?
RICHARD POUND - former Olympic athlete, McGill
Chancellor and former President of the World Anti-Doping
Agency. DR. JIM RUPERT - Associate Professor, School of
Human Kinetics at UBC. BECKIE SCOTT - former Olympic
athlete and current member ofthe IOC
a 12
How Can Sport Contribute to Positive Social
Change? Presented by Merck and Right to Play
JOHANN OLAV KOSS - President and CEO of
RIGHT TO PLAY and 4-time Olympic Gold Medalist
STEPHEN LEWIS - Chair of the Board of the Stephen
Lewis Foundation. WILFRIED LEMKE - Special Advisor
to the UN Secretary-General on Sport for Development
and Peace BENJAMIN NZOBONANKIRA - former child
refugee from Burundi and current Coach Trainer with
PROFESSOR STEPHEN TOOPE - 12th President and
Vice-Chancellor of UBC
Are Major Sporting Events Inclusive of First
Nations and Other Groups?
WANEEK HORN-MILLER - former Olympic athlete,
activist, speaker and television personality. SHARON and
SHIRLEY FIRTH are the first aboriginals to be represented
at the Olympic Games.
Is Anything Possible?
RICK HANSEN - CO., O.B.O, President and CEO of the
Rick Hansen Foundation.
DR. BRUCE MCMANUS - Professor, Department of
Pathology and Laboratory Medicine, at UBC.
March 10 afternoon academic session 1PM
The Path to Exceptional Athletic Achievement
Join leading experts for an afternoon focused on the
hottest issues in science and sport and the implications
that arise on the journey to peak performance.
JWSPM      ^\
Is it Worth It?
DR. BRUCE KIDD - former Olympic athlete and
Professor and Dean of the Faculty of Physical Education
at the University of Toronto. DEREK WYATT - elected
Member of Parliament in the U.K. and Chair of the
All Party Parliamentary London 2012 Olympic and
Paralympic Group.
TICKETS are available through Ticketmaster
Sport, Peace and Development:
$25 general admission, $15 seniors/students
Peak Performance is a free ticketed event.
All other events: $10.
For more information visit: www.communityaffairs.
ubc.ca or www.chancentre.com
a place of mind
End of an era: Mosher retires
Women's soccer coach steps down after a quarter century
Men's program (1986-1994),
Women's program (1994-2009)
1986, '89-93, '94 (x2), '95, '02,
'03, '07
1986, '87, '89, '94, '99, '02, '04
1989, '94, '99
1986, '89-92, '94, 2002, '03, '06
RegularSeason: 202-38-48
Playoffs: 16-12-0
Nationals: 26-4-2
Total: 244-54-50
Dick Mosher in his office Tuesday, a day after he announced his retirement as head coach of the Thunderbirds women's soccer team. GERALD DEO PHOTO/THE UBYSSEY
Entering Dick Mosher's office, the first thing to notice
is how personalized it is. To
his left, team photos and pennants from his 24 years of
coaching at UBC. On his right
are plaques and banners from
international teams his athletes have faced. The walls are
"You coach for a while, and
you start to have a lot of this,"
he said sheepishly.
After coundess awards and
championships and over two
decades of coaching soccer at
UBC, Mosher announced his
retirement Monday, ending an
era of excellence for soccer at
the university that will be hard
to match.
"Dick will go down as one of
Canada's best university soccer coaches of all time," said
Bob Philip, UBC's director of
athletics and recreation. "I am
sure there is no other university coach in this country that has
had so much success in both
men's and women's soccer as
Okay but that's the sort of
high praise plenty of coaches
get when they leave. Big deal.
But in this case, the accolades
are deserved.
Eight national championships, including four in a row
from 1989 to 1992. Twelve
Canada West Championships.
Two CIS Coach Of The Year
awards. Two-hundred fourty-
four total wins to just fifty-four
losses. For Mosher, the list goes
"I'd be lying if I said that
winning national championships wasn't important. It's
something those girls will
never forget. But being an
educator, when I look back,
I particularly look at taking
fresh faced first-year kids, seeing them grow up on and off
the field...that's what's really
Oh right—aside from coaching, Mosher did much, much
more for the university.
Academic coordinator for UBC
Athletics. Graduate advisor
in the Department of Human
Kinetics. It was a workload that
kept him busy, but now in his
60s, he decided to step away
from coaching to focus exclusively on teaching.
"It was time to bring in a full-
time coach," he said, saying that
while he had considered retiring after 2009/2010 for a number of years, he only reached a
decision over the holidays.
"Things like fundraising, I
have difficulty with...it's tough
to step down, but it's time to
bring someone in who can do a
number of things that we need
to do to compete with the universities in the CanadaWest
"We've got to raise the scholarship levels. These kids deserve the money."
More amazing facts? For
the 1991/1992 school year,
Mosher served as interim director of Athletics. Despite this,
he still went on to coach the
men's team—and coach them
to a national championship,
their third straight. In 1994,
he coached both the men's and
women's teams at the same
time—a situation he charitably
called "hectic"—and both teams
made the national championship game.
He then stepped down as men's
coach and focused solely on the
women's team, where he won three
national championships and two
CIS Coach of the Year awards. His
mark on UBC is matched by few
coaches, yet he remains humble.
"You can't base everything
on winning. Only one team
in the country wins a national championship. A coach can
help a team, but then winning
can become a random event. It
comes down to a goal post here,
a crossbar there, on who won
the event. So you can have a lot
of sleepless nights if you over-
think that."
Since Monday, Mosher has
had accolades pouring in. A
group of former and current
players of his are organizing an event for him on face-
book. He's surprised by the
reaction. "It's been very gratifying. I have e-mails, phone
calls from all over the country, players I coached, players
I didn't even coach!
"Its been quite a humbling
experience. I really didn't
think there would be much reaction, and I was pretty choked
up about it yesterday." tl 8/UBYSSEY.CA/SPORTS/2010.01.21
Nuuchaanulth Ceremonial Curtains and
the Work of Ki-ke-in
Bringing together contemporary ceremonial curtains
by Nuuchaanulth artist Ki-ke-in (Ron Hamilton)
and historical curtains from museum and
private collections in Canada and the United States.
January 17 to March 28, 2010
Saturday, January 16, 3 to 5 pm
Ki-ke-in painting the thliitsapilthim of
Ha'wilth Nuukmiis of the House of
liwaasaht, Opitsat-h, Tla-o-qui-aht,
winter 1988-89, Vancouver, B.C.
Photo: Haayuusinapshiilthl.
This exhibition is generously sponsored by
The Audain Foundation, and is presented with
the 201 0 Vancouver Cultural Olympiad,
with support from the British Columbia Arts Council,
the Canada Council for the Arts and the
U BC Museum of Anthropology
The University of British Columbia I 1825 Main Mall I Vancouver I BC V6T 1Z2
Phone: 604 822 2759 I Fax: 604 822 6689 I Web address: www.belkin.ubc.ca
Open Tussdayto Fridayl0to 5 Saturdayand Sunday 12 to 5   I  Closed holidays
Europe for less, exclusively at tt.TR/wELCUTS
You're the one with the cute
accent in Europe.
Well give you $300.
You play, we pay.  contikd
Book your Contiki Holiday at Travel CUTS and get cash to spend on your vacation.
Visit your local Travel CUTS or book online at travelcuts.com
University of British Columbia, SUB Lower Level, 604.822.2426
3ookyour Contiki Holiday at Travel CUTS and get cash to spend on your vacaticns. 25-30 day trip earn CDN$200 prepaid-VISAgiftcad. 31 day or longer
trip earn CDN$300 prepaid-VISA giftcard. Valid for new bookings, booked and 3aid before Ma- 31, 2010. While supplies last, not combinable with any other
after or discount. Some conditions may apply. Promo code CPLAY 5 or CPLAY A5. %gca ON-4499356/4499372 | BC-33127/34799/34798 | QC-70O2238
Call for Nominations
Killam Teaching
Every year the Faculty of Science
awards five Killam Teaching Prizes to
acknowledge excellence in undergraduate teaching and to promote the importance
of science education. Professors, instructors or
lecturers appointed in any of the Faculty's departments are eligible. Students, alumni or faculty members are welcomed to submit nominations in writing to:
Killam Teaching Awards Committee
Dean of Science Office,
Biological Sciences Building
1505-6270 University Boulevard
Vancouver, BCV6T1Z4
Fax: 604-822-5558
Friday, January 29,2010 for second term.
UBC hires Shawn Olson
to lead football team
Former UBC star quarterback returns home
Shawn Olson was the star
quarterback on the best football team in the country 12
years ago. With him at the
helm, UBC made their way to
the Vanier Cup, defeating the
Ottawa Gee Gees 39-23 to become national champions.
Yesterday he returned to
campus, not as a player, but
as a coach, as UBC Athletic
Director Bob Philip announced
at a press conference that Olson
had been signed as the head
coach of the Thunderbirds, effective immediately.
I'm humble and
excited about
the opportunity
presented to me.
"We're turning to someone who was part of that success, the on-held leader of the
team," said Philip.
In announcing the decision,
he acknowledged that "the last
decade hasn't been kind for
footbaU at UBC." Since 2000,
UBC has won only one playoff game, and have missed
the playoffs for the last three
Olson, who has spent the
last three years as offensive
coordinator at SFU, who have
beaten the 'Birds in their last
four matchups, is up for the
"I'm humble and excited
about the opportunity presented to me," he said to the media
following the announcement.
"This program is so storied...
there are so many reasons to
be excited about UBC football.
I can't wait to meet my team,
can't wait to get started."
Following the firing of coach
Ted Goveia in November, rumours had swirled over who
UBC would hire for the position. While many experienced
names in both the Canadian
Football League and Canadian
universities were floated as
possible candidates for the position, the T-Birds decided to go
with Olson, whose three years
Olson at his introductory press conference. GERALD DEO PH0T0/THE UBYSSEY
at SFU are the only CIS coaching experience he has. Philip
didn't think the inexperience
was an hindrance.
"Everyone we interviewed
was solid in x's and o's, including Shawn. Yes he has less experience, but if you look at
other factors, getting alumni
more involved, recruiting, having a passion for this, that winning attitude when he was at
UBC—all those things pointed
to him."
"We're turning to
someone who was
part of that success.
It is unclear at this point
what the fate of the assistant
coaches will be, including that
of Dino Geremia, who was defensive coordinator for four
seasons until being promoted to interim head coach in
November. Olson said that as
soon as possible he would sit
down with all of the coaching
staff. "I'm going to see if I can
work with them."
Running back Dave Boyd,
who was the athlete representative on the six-man hiring
committee, praised Geremia's
work as interim head coach
and defensive coordinator,
and expressed hope that the
team would rally behind Olson,
and "get down to business."
"It was hard to read the vibe
of the meeting when the team
was told," he said. "Guys were
shocked, and didn't know how
to react."
With three straight losing
seasons, a short recruiting season due to his late hiring and
the looming possibility of joining the NCAA, Olson knows
that he will have his work cut
out for him.
"There are a lot of mountains to move, and relationships to build, and respect to
earn, and work to do, and ultimately a lot of games to win before this will get to where all of
us want it to be," he said. But
for the man who once was a
UBC student, it's the chance of
a lifetime.
"I remember sometimes
being in the aquatic centre,
and thinking about this as a
dream," he said. "I didn't think
it would come so soon." tl
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Birds finish off Fraser Valley
Men and women sweep on Saturday night
MEN: UBC 91, UFV 78
UBC basketball head coach Kevin
Hanson paced the bench for most of
the first half. He barked a lot. Saturday
night, his No. 1 nationally ranked team
was suddenly down by 13 points in the
second quarter against the unranked
University ofthe Fraser Valley (UFV).
But the 'Birds, as always, turned it
around, outscoring UFV 27-9 in the
third quarter to pull away en route to a
91-78 win.
"It's always a challenge for any team
to come out and play the same team [the
next night] and come out the same way.
You play them last night. You win by so
much. The coaches come in [the next
night] and say, "It's such a tough challenge." I think we just came out flat footed. It doesn't happen every time, but it
happened today, and we were lucky to
play better in the second quarter," point-
guard Josh Whyte said.
Hanson echoed Whyte's thoughts.
"They had three quarters [scoring at
least 20 points] against us. Our goal is
to hold them under 15 [per quarter] so
we really didn't do a good job at containing their penetration...but in the third
quarter, veteran guys came out and really stepped it up," Hanson said.
Josh Whyte led the UBC comeback, with
21 points and a team-leading five assists
and three steals. And Blain LaBranche
scored five three-pointers, more than the
rest of the team combined, leading the
team with 23 points.
'Josh Whyte penetrates to the hoop...
and he just keeps finding me. That was
basically it. I'm just hitting open shots,"
LaBranche said after the game.
Throughout, UBC was dodged by one persistent problem: personal fouls, amassing
23 fouls by the game's end. Starter Graham
Bath fouled out, while fellow starters Kyle
Watson and Kamar Burke also had four personal fouls.
"It was an entirely different officiating game tonight than it was last night.
Last night there was a lot more contact.
Tonight there was a lot more stoppages.
Obviously you like to have a lot more free
flowing game. That's suited a lot more to
our style. Guys have to be able to adjust to
the way the game flows," Hanson said.
LaBranche summarized the game and
the week ahead: "They hit a lot of shots.
Gotta give them some credit, too. We
didn't come out with a lot of intensity. We
got to come out with more intensity if we
want to beat Calgary and Lethbridge next
weekend." vl
After passing around a spiritual rock
prior to the game, UBC played with zenlike confidence Saturday, extending their
winning streak to five games with a 84-
62 over Fraser Valley.
Sophomore guard Lia St Pierre was a
big part of the smackdown. She scored
a team-high 20 points, in part by getting
layups after finding her own rebound
Her mother, who is very spiritual, sent the
team a special rock along with rock bracelets. The entre team touches the rock in the
locker room prior to the game and wear the
rock bracelets when not on the court "We're
open-minded," St Pierre said.
"It's always hard to come back and play
the same team the next night because they
know us better, we know them better. So
we just tried to make adjustments to what
we needed to improve from yesterday's
game," she commented after the game.
We have a height advantage over
[UFV], but they're a physical team.
"[St Pierre] is an inside-outside threat and
she was a difference maker all over the court
for us tonight She's a second-year playing
with the composure of a fourth-year," head
coach Deb Huband said.
One adjustment they made was to play
more inside and outside ball.
"We have a height advantage over [UFV],
but they're a physical team. It's hard to
play against litfle, strong people, so we
tried to just push it inside, get to crowd in
[under the net] and then push it back out,"
said St. Pierre.
Huband was happy with the team's performance as well.
"We got everyone substantial court time
and gained some experience on the floor
in a game situation which is a really big
positive at this point in the season," said
Huband. "We came out of the gates really
well and then after that we may have lost
our focus at times but we worked on a lot
of our playbook and really gained a deeper
understanding of what we are trying to do."
Guard Candace Morisset enjoyed the
game—and the season, which has seen UBC
move to 9-3, good for second place in the pacific division.
"It was really tough last year to be a rebuilding year. Itwas quite the process. But
this year, I think all the girls went home
over the summer and worked really hard.
You can really see the growth. It's been really fun this year seeing how much we've
all grown together." tl
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Dear Greenpeace: Congratulations on making Ignatieff look good, making yourselves look like idiots and embarrassing a whole bunch of students into not asking intelligent and constructive questions about his environmental policies. 10 points.
isn't it all about money, after all? mr ignatieff prefers to destroy the world because of money, he can't see how saving
the earth could be profitable, i bet ubc students can teach him much about that, what a shame for canada.
—Jason Agonauticus
EDITOR TREVOR RECORD»ideas@ubyssey.ca
irrv fla c
r een
Here we are only four days into this year's AMS elections campaign,
and it's clear that thousands of students are engaged, people's campaigns are rolling ahead with great websites and dedicated volunteers, and the candidate who has the best ideas will win. Whoops.
Once again, these elections are only accessible to the elite few who
are already AMS insiders. With a ten-day campaign period, students will
only know those candidates who are already talked about by AMSers, the
frats, the adorable tykes in VFM and, well, The Ubyssey.
There are some worthwhile candidates who simply cannot be part ofthe
conversation due to their outsider status. Take Sean Kim, for example. He
is probably a viable and talented leader, but due to the fact that he hasn't
been an ardent follower of JVIike Duncan, he is at a disadvantage. The short
campaign period means that there is no chance for him to orient himself
or show himself to be competent AH four ofthe candidates that have been
dealt out "first warnings" by AMS elections so far are newcomers.
Before you go saying, "We don't want an unknowledgeable president
who will destroy all of our hard work," take a look at the current batch of
executives. AMS experience did not correlate with effective governing.
It's not that the AMS's considerable accessibility problems would be
solved by allowing a longer campaign period, but it certainly couldn't
hurt. We're halfway through the campaign period, and it certainly looks
like the winning candidates will be those who are the most immediately
organized, rather than those with the best ideas. UBC students, look forward to another year of people you don't know and don't care about doing things with your money for their friends and not for or with you. va
The Ubyssey has received some criticism for its relationship with Arts
Councilor Jeremy McElroy. We've generally disclosed this relationship
whenever reporting involved Jeremy, which was only occasionally up
until now. But Jeremy is running in the AMS elections, for the position of VP external, and we thought we should explain the situation.
In a wacky plot ripped straight from the script of a television sitcom,
five of the paper's current editors ended up living together in a pretty
rad house. To drive down the price of our house, we picked up additional roommates. One of these was the cousin of our sports editor (Justin
McElroy), Jeremy McElroy.
Yes, Justin and Jeremy have countless adorable baby pictures together, and still attend the same family dinners at holidays. Yes, when The
Ubyssey has parties or get-togethers, Jeremy is often at them (sometimes
he DJs). Yes, he inadvertendy funds some of our late-night binges. And
yes, in addition to playing Super Smash Bros, with us or replacing our
kitchen lights, Jeremy will talk about the AMS with us.
We'd like to make it known that we try to keep our coverage fair. And
Samanthajung, the news editor, does not live in this house, and is unrelated to Jeremy. That being said, we understand some people will still
perceive bias. So to try and show our fairness, we'd like to point out we
aren't always Jeremy cheerleaders.
He was one of the councilors who lead the charge against Tim Chu
and Blake Frederick during the UN debacle despite vocally arguing
against censuring them a month before. And the amount of egg on his
face after the impeachment failed was pretty funny especially considering how he totally thought their plan would work. Further, his claim to
political experience is that he's one of the senior members of the Arts
Undergraduate Society and one of the few remaining folks in charge of
the Radical Beer Faction. When was the last time either of those did anything of note? Also, he's gross and a big ol' hairy dumb-dumb. Satisfied?
There will remain a danger of bias towards Jeremy, and there's little
we can do about that. Still, while we may live under the same roof—trust
us, we aren't in bed with him. vl
Exuberant readership,
Days are turning into
weeks, weeks are turning into
months, and all in all we've
been corresponding with you
lovely folks for quite awhile.
It's been a slice, and we hope
you feel the love. But sometimes just feeling the love isn't
enough, beautiful readers:
sometimes we need physical
proof. So send us your letters
and we'll show you love and
what it's all about, as the kids
say. No problem too big, small
or embarrassing; 100 per cent
This issue's letter comes to
us from a lonely-hearted soul
pining for a faraway lover:
Dear Too Sexy,
Over the summer I met a
girl. A woman, really. We met at
a concert, made sexy puns with
each other, and ended up walking around together all night
until finally crashing at Jericho
Beach (it was a long walk) and
making a fire just as the sun
came up. Needless to say, I fell
madly in love with her.
The problem is that she was
only in Vancouver for a few
weeks during the summer.
Now she's back in Pordand and
I'm stuck here, desperately addicted to Skype. I know long
distance relationships aren't
known for being easy and I'm
okay with the reduced physical intimacy living across an international border from someone can bring. That being said...
well, lately she's seemed a litde
distant. She says it's just school
and stuff, but I'm worried.
Maybe she's not okay with
the long distance thing? It's
been working all right so far
and it really burns me to even
suspect this, but I'm afraid she
might be getting tired of me
and looking for someone closer to home. What do I do, Too
Sexy? How can I know if this is
a real problem or if it actually is
just school stress? And if it is an
issue, how can I possibly compete with someone who can actually see her in person more
than once every few weeks?
—Lad Only Needs Girl
Hey LONG, and thanks for your
letter. We're going to be frank
with you: your predicament is
a tricky one, and you're already
doing pretty much everything
you can do to fix it. That said,
we do think that a different
perspective on things might
freshen up the old optimism.
You're right about long distance
relationships being difficult, but
the key reason for this isn't the
dearth of physical intimacy that
comes with geographical separation. Although constant blue balls
often dissuade folks from getting
into long-distance situations in the
first place, once you're there emotional intimacy issues tend to complicate things much more. In your
case, for instance, you're having
to grapple with the fact that you
can't know whether your girl's
perceived emotional distance is
innocent and scholastic in nature,
or more troubling. This is something that you're just going to have
to face. Since topography deprives
you of the many subfle physical
and auditory cues that tell us when
a relationship is in trouble and no
one's talking about it, you have no
choice but to take your girlfriend at
her word.
Maybe it isn't such a bad
thing. After all, healthy relationships are built on three things.
Those three things aren't crazy sex, exclusivity and physical
proximity; they are trust, communication and mutually liking
one another. All these things
are still important and possible
over long distances. So at the
end of the day, you just have to
trust that what your girlfriend
says is true. Sure, you can't
know for certain whether or not
your trust is misplaced, but we
guarantee you will do irreparable damage to your relationship
in either case if you start acting
all suspicious.
Also, make sure you keep
talking. Communication is
particularly important in long
distance relationships. You
are unable to do things together, or anything else that
can become placeholders for
communication. You can and
do "compete" with people in
her more immediate proximity by continuing to communicate. You can crack jokes, tell
stories and generally remind
her that it's you she fell for. So
call her, e-mail her, Skype her,
do whatever you two squirrels
usually do. See if her mood
improves over the next few
weeks. If it does, you've likely nothing to worry about. If
it doesn't, talk about it—but
in person, not by pestering
over the internet. Arrange to
visit her (perhaps over reading week or during the weekend?) and ask her if anything's
Healthy relationships
are built on three
things. Those three
things aren't crazy
sex, exclusivity and
physical proximity
If your worst-case scenario
proves true and she is cooling
off towards you or even seeing
someone else, please know it's
probably for the best. We know
that's hard to hear, LONG, but
relationships, particularly the
long distance variety, take a lot
of hard work and commitment
from all parties involved. If she
doesn't care enough to eschew
all other comers and stay with
you, it wouldn't have worked
out regardless of the distance.
You'd be better off saving all
that mad love for someone who
can really appreciate it.
That's all, folks. See you next
time for another edition of
Too Sexy. Don't lose love's labours, send them along to us at
toosexy©ubyssey.ca. tT
Joe Bonvegna
Arts 4
I've been watching Conan for
a really long time....This whole
situation just kinda pisses me
off because it's like a metaphor
for corporate culture nowadays. And you know what?
They signed a contract, Conan
got a show and now they want
to go back on that..Jay Leno
proved to be a failure at ten,
the NBC affiliates are mad and
now they want to go back and
put him at 11:30.
Michael DeMara
English 3
Conan...he's still better than
Leno is...because I think Leno
sold his soul to get The Tonight
Show and with [his soul] all
the humour that he had in
1982. And it really is without
humour at all. The show is so
unfunny it's painful, it's like
being stabbed then [the knife]
is slowly turned for an hour
and a half.
Angie Miller
Sociology 3
Jay Leno, just because..! think
Conan O'Brian's jokes are a lot
drier and not as interesting.
He has to try a lot harder, [but]
with Jay Leno it seems more
natural coming from him.
Jocelyn Alford
Arts 2
Probablyjay Leno, just because
Conan O'Brian said those
things about Richmond...and
the Olympics. I like Jay Leno
for those reasons, tl
—Coordinated by Tara
Martellaro, Chibwe Mweene and
Krittana Khurana 2010.01.21/UBYSSEY.CA/IDEAS/ll
Painting gives Mahtab an outlet. COURTESY OF MAHTABESKANDARI
UBC student Mahtab Eskandari, the
victim of a brutal hate crime, learns to cope
with violence one brush stroke at a time
Shouts erupted behind Mahtab
Eskandari and her husband
Kourosh. The couple, who were
waiting for the bus on their way
home from a dinner celebration, began to worry. It was getting late and they were the only
ones standing on the street.
As the shouting became louder and more aggressive, Mahtab
and Kourosh turned their backs
on the noise and headed for the
nearest crosswalk,
"We tried to get out of the
scene," said Mahtab. "When
we heard shouting, we thought
we should get out of this
place, just to stay out of trouble. We didn't want to take any
Before the couple could cross
the intersection at Seymour
and West Hastings, the street
light changed. With nowhere to
go, Kourosh turned around.
Standing a few feet away
were  the  shadowy figures  of
two men. Advancing towards
Mahtab and Kourosh, they began throwing beer cans and
shouting what she called "coloured words."
Seconds later, one ofthe men
leaped towards Kourosh, hit
him across the face and tried to
drag him to the ground. Mahtab
watched on in horror.
Screaming at the sight of
her husband being assaulted,
Mahtab was struck down by the
second attacker. While Kourosh
struggled to defend himself,
Mahtab struggled to stay standing and, after being punched repeatedly in the head and right
side of her face, she fell to the
pavement, bleeding.
Luckily for Kourosh and
Mahtab a taxi pulled up beside
them, scaring the two men
away and giving the couple a
chance to catch their breath.
"We would never even guess
or imagine that physical attacks
would be something that would
happen, within a few miles
of die police station,  at that
location, with no background
and no reason," said Mahtab.
With the help ofthe taxi driver,
the pair, still in disbelief, called
the police. They were instructed,
because of the ambulance strike,
to take a cab to the emergency
room at Lion's Gate Hospital.
At the hospital that Mahtab
and Kourosh learned the extent
of their injuries. Kourosh was
bruised and cut, but not badly.
Mahtab, despite being "lucky"
to have had no serious brain
trauma, was in more critical
condition. Besides thescrapes
and cuts from the asphalt,
Mahtab's knee was severely injured, with multiple facial injuries from attack.
"My nose cartilage was
cracked so there was a lot of
bleeding, and a litde dislocation from being hit in the face
and from being punched at
close range," she said, running
her index finger gentiy over her
nose and cheek.
It's been scarcely five months
since the incident, and the couple is still recovering. Mahtab,
an unclassified Anthropology
and Education student at UBC,
has undergone what she described as a "dramatic shift in
"It was a very shocking experience. I had a huge wall of trust
and I would have never expected to experience such a thing [in
Only a few years earlier, all
Mahtab knew about Canada she
gleaned through the internet
and television. While living in
Iran and working at Iran Daily,
Mahtab planned her move.
"I was really excited. I wanted to live in a multicultural
community and I was really excited to find out that there was a
nation that was building a new
generation of multiculturalism
together, shoulder by shoulder
and side by side."
Though enthusiastic about the
thought of moving, Mahtab didn't
make any quick decisions. It was
only after years of research and deliberation that she decided to relocate to Vancouver in 2006 as a professional landed immigrant working in the field of microbiology.
Without a social network or any
family living in Canada, moving
from Iran was a bold move, but
Mahtab was determined. After returning home to marry her longtime friend and fiance Kourosh,
the couple decided to make
Canada their home for good in
Facing underemployment,
language barriers and loneliness, Mahtab remained positive. She joined clubs on campus such as UBC's CiTR radio
station and AMS Equity, and
became involved with multicultural organizations such as
Immigrant Women of Science
and Technology (IWIS).
After the incident, her optimism disappeared. She said she
felt as if she was fighting inside to
remain her old self, and failing.
"That event really had an impact on me....I couldn't look at
people the same way I used to,
knowing that there were a lot of
people around me at the time
of the incident and no one approached to help," she said.
Mahtab was distrustful of
others and insecure with herself. Once outgoing and confident, she became frightened,
scared and ashamed, and gave
up the things she loved, such
as volunteering with children,
because she was embarrassed
about the scars on her face. She
also shut out friends and family
back home in Iran. To this day,
her mother Effat doesn't know
about the assault.
"I haven't told [my parents].
I can't," she said. "I am the only
daughter. They are already really concerned. What would they
think? I don't want to destroy
the image that they have [about
With one of the suspects under arrest and a Vancouver
Community Court date set in
2011, Mahtab and her husband
are doing the best they can to
move on with their lives. One of
the ways Mahtab has begun to
heal is through art. Looking for
a way to transform her anger
into something constructive,
she began creating large scale
canvas paintings, which depict
the incident and Iranian mythological images.
Mahtab is also organizing an
art exhibit, currendy entitied
Mahtab's Project. It is currendy
a collaboration between thirteen local artists that have been
affected by voilence, including
painters, dancers, sculptors, actors and poets.
Mahtab wants a street gallery
to showcase the artists' work,
talents and stories. She'd like
to avoid hosting the gallery indoors, because she wants it to
be accessible for everyone, especially to children.
"Whatever we have bitter
in our minds has to be transformed into something sweet
for children to hear, to experience and to learn, because
they imitate and then they
are going to perform," said
Thanks in part to the artists
who have already reached out
to her, she is slowly regaining
her faith and trust in others,
and in herself. Although she admits that she is still fighting for
"the old Mahtab."
"I am happy that I was the one
who experienced this, because I
know I can change the outcome,"
she said.
Mahtab that said having experienced violence first hand,
she realizes that it can happen
anywhere, to anyone, at any
time. Mahtab feels she has a responsibility to tell her story and
raise awareness about the effect of violence on the victims
who experience it.
"I feel I am responsible to
voice their thoughts, their experiences and their messages," she explained. "These people really, really need people
fighting for them. The people
around us, the person sitting
on the bus next to us, he or she
might be a person who has experienced violence. We just
never know."
Taking inspiration from an
Iranian proverb, Mahtab clarified what she hopes others
learn from hearing her story.
"All human beings are members of one ensemble, all playing different melodies in the
world," she recited, first in Farsi
and then in English. "We are all
created, evolved and emerged
from one unique value. Rising
from the same soul and descending to the same soul." tl
To contribute to Mahtab's
Project or share your story, e-
mail mahtabproject@yahoo.ca.
Limitations apply. Prices subject to change. Sales by disclosure statement. Pacific Spirit Adera Projects Ltd and UBC Properties Investments Ltd. Adera Realty Corp. 2200 - 1055 Dunsmuir Vancouver, BC 604-684-8277.


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