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UBC Publications

The Ubyssey Dec 1, 1989

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VOLUME 72, Number 24
Vancouver, B.C. Friday, December 1,1989 CLASSIFIEDS 228-3977
Classified Advertising
RATES: AMS Card Holders - 3 lines, $3.00, additional lines 60 cents,
commercial -3 lines, $5.00, additional lines 75 cents. (10% Discount on
25 issues or more) Classified ads payable in advance. Deadline 4:00
p.m,. two days before publication. Room 266, SUB, UBC, Van., B.C. V6T
2A7, 228-3977.
05 - COMING EVENTS
AQUA-SOC CHRISTMAS PARTY Friday
Dec. 1st - Tickets $5.00 on sale now in the
DIVE SHOP. Starts 7 p.m. in Room 207/209.
Door prizes & mistletoe.
UNIVERSITY HILL COFFEE HOUSE
8:00 p.m. Sat. Dec. 16-live music!!! Cover by
donation. 5375 University Blvd. (at University Chapel), 222-0800.
10 - FOR SALE -
COMMERCIAL
SEND BELGIAN CHOCOLATES FOR
GIFTS. Anywhere in Canada/US for only
$14. Mail cheque to CHOCOLATE POSTE,
106 - 2619 Alma St., Van. B.C. V6R 3S1
11 - FOR SALE - PRIVATE
COMPAQ PORTABLE 386. Includes 3
MByte fast RAM, 100 MByte fast disk, expansion chassis and full set of reference
manuals. Excellent for software development! Also complete software packages.
$7900. Call for information, or to try. 291-
9009 pref eves.
FLY  VANCOUVER-TORONTO   RTN.
$450 OBO. Dec 21-Jan. 3. Female. 228-
3718 or 224-8850. Ask for Tia.
XT COMPATIBLE, 640K, 10 MHZ, math
co-processor, 30 meg hard disk, 2400 bps modem, Logitech mouse. Must sell. Offer
around $1,400. Ph. 228-9393 a/h.
SERF.  THE HOME OF LOW PRICES.
Wang, AS St Micom Word Processing Equipment. Call 228-2582.
20 - HOUSING
THE DEPARTMENT OF STUDENT
HOUSING & CONFERENCES has vacancies for women in Totem Park & Place
Vanier residences. These residences offer
room & board accommodation in single or
double rooms. Pis. contact the Student
Housing Office duri ng office hours (8:30 a.m.
- 4) weekdays or by calling 228-2811 for more
information.
Between
Deadline for submissions: for
Tuesday's paper is Friday at
■ 3:30PM, for Friday's paper is
Wednesday at 3:30pm. LATE
SUBMISSIONS WILL NOT
BE ACCEPTED.
Note: "Noon" = 12:30 p.m.
FRIDAY, DEC. 1	
Institute of Asian Research.
: Lunchtime lecture by Dr. M.K.
Chan, University of Hong Kong.
12:30pm, Seminar Room 604,
Asian Centre.
Graduate Student Society. GSS
Bzzr Garden. 4:30 - 7:30, Graduate Student Centre Garden
Room.
Graduate Student Society. Zen
Meditation & Instruction. 12:30,
Graduate Student Centre Penthouse.
Graduate Student Society.
Nathaniel Hurvitz - Guitar Soloist. 7-10 p.m., Graduate Student
Centre Fireside Lounge.
International Youth Challenge.
Information Meeting. 2:30 p.m.,
SUB 215.
5 BDRM, 2 STOREY, 20 yr old house for
rent. House on 1/2 acre lot on Western
Crescent. Ideal for a group of UBC students.
Asking$2500/month. Call KrisorTony643-
1716.	
MATURE FEMALE GRAD STUDENT,
n/s, wanted to rent furnished bsmt. room in
house near the village. Shared kitchen &
bath. Separate entrance, cable, laundry.
$350. Call 222-3389, aaer 6pm.
2 BEDROOM, 2 bath deluxe apt. to share
Dec. 1 or Jan. 1. Located at UBC gates,
modern, bright California style apt. Rent
$476 inc. utilities. N/S. Darryl, 228-1867.
NEED A ROOMMATE to share 2 bedrooms apt Cost $275/month incl. cable,
hydro, parking. Call Bernard, 876-0893.
WANTED TO LET three bedroom basement. Tel. 228-5051 ready to pay $600.
25 - INSTRUCTION
UBC DANCE CLUB ofTer Beginner Jive
Lessons starting Jan. 8 for 5 weeks. Cost:
$25. Limited space available. Formoreinfo.
call 228-3248.
 30 - JOBS	
RUN YOUR OWN BUSINESS
StudentSprinklers is now hiring on campus!
We have 45 manager positions available
nationwide. In 1989ourtopmanager's gross
profit was $45,000. Join a winning team -
apply now. 681-5755.
-LIVE IN JAPAN-
International Education Services invites
applications for a one year assignment in
Japan teaching English language skills in
school settings as well as to Japanese Business people from major corporations and
government offices. Minimum academic
requirement is a Bachelors degree; some
work experience desirable. Liberal Arts
degree holders as well as those with specialized degrees (i.e. management, engineering,
pharmaceutical, securities, finance, languages, education, etc.) are encouraged to
apply. Please submit current resume and
cover letter accompanied by a recent photo
to:
International Education Services
Shin-Taiso Building
10-7 Dogenzaka, 2-chome
Shibuya-ku, Tokyo 150 JAPAN
Fax Number (81>03-463-7089
University Christian Ministry. A
discussion on current subjects and
Christianity response to them.
12:30, SUB 211.
Badminton club. Gym Night: New
memberships are 30% off! Dance:
Dec. 20. Purchase tix from Execs
(or phone 327-8258). 7 - 10 p.m.,
Lord Byng, 3933 W. 16th.
SATURDAY, DEC. 2
Graduate Student Society. Children's Christmas Party. 12
(noon), Graduate Student Centre
Banquet Room.
Concerned Cyclists for Non-Polluting Transport. Protest Ride to
demand safe opportunities for
cyclists in Vancouver. 11 a.m.,
meet at Hastings and Cambie
(outside Bigfoot Outdoor Store,
150 Hastings}. For more information call 251-6471.
SUNDAY, DEC. 3
Lutheran Student Movement.
Communion Service. 10 a.m.,
Lutheran Campus Centre.
United Church Campus Ministry.
Informal discussion, study and
prayer. All welcome. 7:30 p.m.,
Lutheran Campus Centre.
P/T HELP REQ. Autoplan Insurance. Will
study for level 1 license. 1st or 2nd yr.
student preferred. Call Grace at 433-7748.
HEAD COACH for summer swim club.
Must have NLS & extensive coaching exp.
590-3780 or 596-6577.
EARN EXTRA $$$ using your answering
machine pt S400 - S2,000/mo. Mr. Rohn.
Ph: 435-6494.
FRENCH TRANSLATOR NEEDED to
translate 2 simple documents. Will pay$30/
hr. Approx. 5 hrs. Call Jean, 584-6218.
NOW HIRING!
Tortellini's Restaurant is now hiring a part-
time cashier. Please aply with resume and
your exam schedule, Monday - Friday 9am to
Noon or 2pm to 4pm to Nancy in Room 230F
SUB.
A CAREER IN
SAILING
We are looking for a few good
men and women.
If instructing sailing interests you,
we are offering a course to enable
you lo become a C.Y.A. certified
basic cruising instructor.
All graduates of this course will be
offered employment with West
Coast School of Seamanship. For
more information CALL 684-9440.
ESPRESSO BAR - DOWNTOWN LOCATION looking for M/F students to work part-
time. Ifyou like to have fun while making
money, and don't want to sell yourself short,
call 266-4999.
FAST GROWING BUSINESS has opening for students desiring to create dependable income while studying. For interview
call 879-8095 or 731-2019 between 3 - 7 p.m.
MAKE EXTRA CASH OVER CHRISTMAS from home. 100% natural products.
Make excellent gifts. Call Don, 435-0787.
35 - LOST
LOST QUEENS GRAD RING in War Memorial Gym Sun., Nov. 26 at noon on Crt. 2.
BSC 87 on outside, GSR inscribed inside.
Call Glen, 8747494. Reward.
40 - MESSAGES
ANYONE KNOW the rest of this song? It
means a lot to someone I know: "Like a ship
in the harbour. Like a light in the darkness,
Like a mother and child." Please call Anya
at 524-6984.
MONDAY, DEC. 4
Graduate Student Society. Manhattan w/ Casino Royale - last film
night until Jan. 8/90. 6:30, Graduate Student Centre Fireside
Lounge.
TUESDAY, DEC. 5
Lutheran Student Movement. Coop Supper. 6 p.m., Lutheran
Campus Centre.
Lutheran Student Movement.
Bible Study. 10 a.m., Lutheran
Campus Centre.
WEDNESDAY, DEC. 6
United Church Campus Ministry.
Carols, food, socializing. All welcome. 6 p.m., Lutheran Campus
Centre.
THURSDAY, DEC. 7
Disability Centre. Open Forum.
12:30-l:30,SUBMeetingRm.l25
(Main Floor).
Lutheran Student Movement.
Theological discussion. 6:30 p.m.,
Lutheran Campus Centre.
70 - SERVICES
VISITING TORONTO? Bed & Breakfast
in our restored home, minutes to the 'U' of
Toronto & downtown. Rates from $45.
Ashleigh Heritage House: (416)535-4000.
75 - WANTED
DO YOU HAVE A SAX TO SELL? Please
call Kira at 2153 here, or 732-7257 at home.
RESEARCH PROJECT. Free one-day
stress management program for female
graduate students in second term. Formore
information, contact 228-5345.
80 - TUTORING
SPANISH TUTOR AVAILABLE.
ALL LEVELS, REASONABLE RATES
CALL 737-1404.
85 - TYPING
PROFESSIONAL TYPIST, 30 yeare exp.,
word processing/typing. Student rates.
Dorothy Martinson 228-8346.
TYPING UBC VILLAGE, 24 hr. service.
Tapes transcribed, essays, papers, resumes,
letters, editing/proofing. 224-2310.
ACCURATE REPORTS WORD PROCESSING, WordPerfect, laser printer, dictation. Student rates avail. #16-1490 W.
Broadway at Granville. 732-4426.
ON CAMPUS WORD PROCESSING
Type it yourself... simplified instructions,
spell check, and laser printer make your
work look top quality. $7/hr. and 15c/page.
Friendly hei p always available. SUB lower
level, across from Tortellini's Restaurant;
228-5496.
ON CAMPUS WORD PROCESSING
Need the professional touch? ... have it
done for you-you can even bookahead. $27/
hr., 6-8 double spaced pages of normal text
per hour, laser printer. SUB lower level,
across from Tortellini's Restaurant; 228-
5640.
WORD-PROCESSING S2.50/dbl.sp. page.
APA, MLA, CMS. Computersmiths, 3726
West Broadway (at Alma) 224-5242.
TYPING QUICK right by UBC. All types
$1.50/pg. dbspc. Call Rob, 228-8989, any
time.
TYPING TIGERS. Low, low rates, computerized. Word Perfect 5.0. 273-1420 or 645-
6934 (24 hr. pager).
FRIDAY, DEC. 8	
The Vancouver Chamber Players
Orchestra. Conducted by Eric
Wilson, presents a free concert at
the U.B.C. Old Auditorium on
Friday, Dec. 8 at 8pm; The program features John Loban as soloist, and will consist of Brahm's
Violin Concerto, Schubert's Unfinished Symphony, and an overture
by Donizetti. Refreshments will
be sold at intermission.
WEDNESDAY, DEC. 13
Graduate Student Society. Feminist Research Group & The Grad
Female Student Support Network
Christmas Get Together. 4 - 6
p.m., Graduate Student Centre
Garden Room.
JB
WORD PROCESSING.
Fast, accurate, dependable. 224-2678.
A & Y MANUSCRIPT MASTERS.
Specialist in scientific fonts, graphs, grammar correction & style polishing. Call 253-
0899.
U NEED OUR SERVICE, documents &
term papers, presentations and spreadsheets professionally prepared at reasonable rates. Call 272-4995.
WORD PROCESSING & TYPING. Essay, term papers, theses, reports, letters,
resumes. Bilingual. Clemy, 266-6641.
TYPING/WORD PROCESSING$1.50/pg.
dbl. spc. Call Eugenie, 266-4546.
STUDENTS
If you need work during the
Christmas Break in a Fast-
growing medical field — in-
home care — we have the job
opportunity for you.
We offer:
• Flexible Hours to Suit your
Schedule
• Work in your Area
• Competitive Hourly Rates
• Rewarding Work with Seniors
• Training & Support by
Professional Nurses
• Excellent Experience for your
Resume
Part-time work available
during the school year.
Apply at #302-1620 W. 8th Ave.,
Vancouver or Phone 731-9233
Try it
mondoy &
Thursday
Sub 24IH
FRIDAY, DEC. 15
UBC Sailing Club, Windsurfing
Club, Ski Club, & Graduate Student Society. Christmas Party. 8
p.m. - 1 a.m. Graduate Student
Centre Fireside Lounge.
SATURDAY, DEC. 16
Chess Club. Tournament, open
to all, nationally-rated, prizes for
beginners to experts,: cost: $10.
9:30 a.m. - 5 p.m., SUB 212.
Chess Club. lecture: "Who is the
Greatest Chess Player of All
Time?" by Dr. Nathan:Divinsky,
Canadian representative to the
World Chess Federation. Cost:
$5. 5 - 6:30 p.m., SUB 205.
MOT
■FLASHES
Disabled students requiring assistance with
access to Christmas Exams Dec. 5th - 21st, or anticipating specialized needs, should contact: Jan
del Valle, Co-ordinator of Services for Disabled
Students, 228-4858, Student Counselling and
Resources Centre, Brock Hall."
2/THE UBYSSEY
December 1,1989 NEWS
-V"
Auditor tackles AMS accounts
by Joe Altwasser
UBC's student council was
muzzled by their legal counsel on
Wednesday following an extraordinary meeting called to deal
with an impending audit of certain AMS accounts.
Davis and Co., the AMS's legal counsel, suggested an information moratorium on the details of the audit until it is completed and results are released.
Council voted unanimously
for AMS president Mike Lee to be
the sole spokesperson for the
AMS on the issue.
Lee said the motion "was
necessary mainly to affirm my
role as the provider of information.''
"I can't comment on it (the
audit) until the individual auditing firm has finished the audit,"
hesaid.
"Apart from ensuring the integrity of the AMS is upheld, it
would be unfair to any people involved to release information
until the irregularities have been
verified and their full extent has
been determined."
Lee would not reveal which
accounts are to be examined in
the audit which will begin Mon-
Mike Lee
day.
In   a  second  motion   Karl
Kottmeier, director of finance,
was replaced by Mark Brown,
president ofthe commerce undergraduate society.
Brown will act as director of
finance for Kottmeier who has
taken a temporary leave of absence.
No reason was given for
Kottmeier's leave. He could not be
reached for comment.
Some students are concerned
the AMS is witholding information about the audit.
"Personally I don't have
much faith in the AMS," said
Gareth Davies, arts 4.
"This bothers me that they
are not telling me what they are
doing with my money. Any wrongdoings or perceived wrong-doings
should be made public."
Jason Gadd, history 4, said:
"If their are any wrong-doings
they should be let out to the public. It's our money and we should
know what's happening to it."
Some students, however,
agreed with the information ban.
Alan Price, science 5, said: "I
don't mind. They have to sort it
out internally. As long as they let
the information out at the end of
the audit."
Row, row, row your boat but don't swim in the stream.
SARAH NAOMI CLYNE PHOTO
Referendum may refund SRC
by John Gray
Students may soon be lining
up, not to pay more fees, but to
receive a rare monetary refund if a
referendum sponsored by RJ.
Moorhouse, Arts Undergrad Society rep on student council, comes
to fruition.
The petition calls for a referendum to refund the $30 fee collected from students in September
for the building of the Student
Recreation Centre. The Alma
Mater Society is holding more
than $800,000 in trust.
"We have a moral responsibility to return that money to its
rightful owner," said Moorhouse.
"Ifs like holding a wallet."
Moorhouse hopes to get the
thousand signatures necessary to
compel the AMS to call a referendum soon so he can take advantage of the upcoming AMS executive elections.
"If we can put a question
(regarding the refunding of SRC
money) on the January election
ballot then we can save the AMS
the time and expense of arranging
another referendum.
"We have already spent too
much time and money arguing
about this already."
Moorhouse said the only real
expense that could arise would be
any extra staff the AMS business
office would have to hire to deal
with long lines of students wanting to pick up their cheques.
According to a rough draft of
the question, Moorhouse is proposing any money left unclaimed
be donated to the AMS bursary
fund.
But according to AMS president, Mike Lee, there may be
complications.
"I know of one group of students that is right now circulating
a petition to call for a third and
final referendum concerning SRC.
"The two petitions may be
presented in the New Year when
they will obviously be at cross
purposes. At this point the council
will have to make a decision about
the petitions. If we were unable to
come to a decision then it would
have to be submitted to student
court for their decision."
Both Lee and Moorhouse
agree if the money is not used for
the SRC then it should be returned
to students.
Kari Kottmeier
Lee said the results would be
made public as soon as the audit is
complete.
"Students will have full information on the issue after the
audit is completed and council
has the opportunity to adopt and
implement the recommendation," he said.
Peat Marwick, the firm
which normally conducts the
AMS year-end audit, will perform the investigation.
This decision to use Peat
Marwick was also affirmed Wednesday night.
Lee said there is a marked
difference between an annual
audit and a special investigative
audit.
"A special investigative audit differs from a regular audit in
that it looks at perceived weaknesses which have been identified by others and considers the
seriousness of those and makes
reccommendations if applicable."
"A regular audit is performed annually by the auditors
and verifies that the financial
statements are fairly represented," said Lee.
New tuition
hike hushed
by Chung Wong
Silence from the President's
Office on the upcoming tuition
hike has students worried that
there will be no recourse to negotiate the increase.
"I've been trying to set up a
simple five minute telephone call
with President Strangway for the
last couple of weeks but have had
no luck," said Tim Bird, student
representative on the Board of
Governors.
"My original prediction for
the tuition increase was originally five to seven per cent, but
this secrecy concerns me. It could
mean up to eight and nine per
cent now," said Bird.
The president refused to
comment to The Ubyssey about
the tuition increase.
Bird said students need to
pressure for negotiations with
Strangway before he presents his
tuition proposal December 18 at
the next BoG meeting.
"We've got to convince President Strangway to change it now
before December 18 because once
the proposal hits the table at the
meeting then it's going to be fifty
times more difficult to amend the
increase."
According to Bird, their secrecy is unusual.
"From my experience the
student board representatives
and the most prominent student
politicians have usually been
privy to what the increase would
most likely be well in advance.
This would give us a chance to
formulate a decent argument.
"Once a decision is publicly
announced there's all kinds of
factors that come into play that
were not there before—issues
such as loyalty."
UBC Vice-President Bruce
Gellatly acknowledged the tuition issue to be quite "sensitive"
but maintained the presi dent has
yet to reveal any elements concerning this year's tuition proposal.
At the beginning ofthe year,
however, Strangway distributed
a pamphlet to all BoG members
called Truths and Myths about
Tuition, written by the Washington   D.C.-based  Association  of
Governing Boards of Universities and Colleges.
"It's got two columns—
myths and truths—that is from
the administration's perspective," said Bird. "From the student perspective, you simply
switch the headings."
"The pamphlet represents
the perspective from a university
financial analyst. A financial
analyst doesn't look at a student's pocketbook—hejust looks
at the university's budget. The
student perspective is not
brought into perspective in the
"Truth" at all."
Myth number seven says
that "when college and university presidents are faced with
cost increase, they raise tuition
to make up the difference."
In response, "Truth" number seven says that "presidents
and trustees are extremely careful when making tuition decisions—each increase in tuition is
the result of detailed, often agonizing deliberation by the institution's board."
AMS Tuition Taskforce
chair Joanna Harrington
pointed out the lack of a justified
arbitration system between the
BoG and students.
"Ifs really undemocratic—
we're not involved," said Harrington. "(BoG has) closed meetings whereas other universities
have open meetings."
"TTiere are 15 BoG members
and only two student representative members," she added.
But she noted students
should not only focus on BoG
alone. "We can't just blame
BoG—they'll say the province
isn't paying enough. And the
province will say BoG decides. So
we really have to focus on both."
Students are also apprehensive over the university administration's attitude toward students. Bird noted that UBC
raised tuition by 30 per cent in
1982-83.
"Last year they (the provincial government) increased the
budget by seven to eight per cent.
They were very generous. But
UBC still came around a 10 per
cent increase."
December 1,1989
THE UBYSSEY/3 Penmans
SWEATSHIRTS
SWEATPANTS
KANGAROOS
T-SHIRTS
WE'RE STOCKED FOR CHRISTMAS
The Thunderbird Shop is an Official UBC Licensee.
MUGS
CARDS
€
HATS
UBC SOUVENIRS
POSTERS
CALENDARS
PLUSH ANIMALS
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<_*5
•r*
CHRISTMAS
n ORNAMENTS
tft BOXED
M CHRISTMAS
* 4 CARDS
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CHRISTMAS
25%
OFF
fi GIFT WRAP
LOWER LEVEL
STUDENT UNION BUILDING
224-1911
HOURS Mon. to Fri. 8 a.m. - 6 p.m.
Saturday 10 a.m. - 5 p.m.
Sunday 12 p.m. - 5 p.m.
HAMPTON PLACE:   A STUDENT PERSPECTIVE
WHO WILL LIVE AT HAMPTON
PLACE?
• Not students.
• Not new faculty.
• Not staff.
• Condos will be sold at market value
(aprox. $500,000 each)
• Highrise units will be rented at
prevailing market rates for luxury
apartments.
• Hampton Place is targeted for
"empty-nesters" who already own
property on Vancouver's West Side.
• No student housing has been
included.
• Many current faculty members have
expressed concern that Hampton
Place will not be affordable, for
themselves or for incoming faculty.
HOW WILL THIS DEVELOPMENT
AFFECT THE ENVIRONMENT?
• Highrises three times as tall as the
trees will be right beside the
Pacific Spirit Park.
• A brick wall will be built alongside the
Acadia Park Daycare.
• 1600 commuters will be driving on
and off campus everyday, contributing
to Vancouver's pollution and traffic
congestion.
• Hampton Place could be helping to
alleviate the pollution problem by
housing students, staff, and faculty
on-campus.
WHAT WILL THE MONEY
GENERATED BE USED FOR?
• According to the Administration,
the money will be used for capital
funding.
• It could be used for student housing
but no guarantee has been given by
UBC's Board as Governors.
WHO HAS BEEN INVOLVED IN
THE PLANNING?
• Many experts were consulted, but
those affected by the development
(students, faculty, staff, the
Musqueam Band, and other Lower
Mainland residents) were
insufficiently consulted.
YOU CAN EXPRESS YOUR CONCERNS BY SIGNING THE STUDENT
PETITION AT SPEAKEASY,  MAIN CONCOURSE, SUB AND BY WRITING TO
THE BOARD OF GOVERNORS AND PRESIDENT STRANGWAY.
I 50  EXTERNAL AFFAIRS • AMS STUDENT ENVIRONMENT CENTER  jj)
4/THE UBYSSEY
December 1,1989 CUP FEATURE
U
A
fter spending seven
wonderful   weeks
travelling   through
the People's Republic of China, I
arrived in Beijing on June 3,
1989.1 had hoped to see the many
sights of Beijing and its surroundings, such as the Forbidden
City, the Temple of Heaven, Mao
Zedung   Mausoleum,   and   the
Great Wall. I never did.
Instead, I became a participant in history, and the only
sights I saw were terrified Chinese students and civilians in a
state of angered shock after being
betrayed by their government's
promise not to use force on the
students' peaceful demonstrations.
Deng Xiaoping's murderous
27th Army Battalion created a
scene I will never forget.
When I arrived at Beijing
train station following a 36-hour
train journey from Chengdu, I
found myself surrounded by
thousands of young Chinese students. A massive pilgrimage had
been bringing students from all
over the country to Tiananmen
Square for weeks, adding
strength to their pro-democratic
demonstration. After spending
an hour wandering the parking
lot of the station, I finally threw
my backpack in a bus whose
driver had agreed to take me to
the travellers' hostel, which was
two km from Tiananmen Square.
I sat in the bus, exhausted
from the hardships of third class
Chinese train travel, but I was
nonetheless happy to finally
reach Beijing, where I planned to
spend my final two weeks in
China.
Looking out the window ofthe
bus I was surprised to see ominous line-ups of military personnel carriers parked on the main
streets leading to Tiananmen
Square. I was aware that martial
law had been imposed in Beijing a
few weeks earlier, but I did not
realize there would be such a
presence of armed soldiers.
About 10 minutes from the
train station I noticed the bus
driver seemed to be troubled by
these occupied roads. As I don't
speak Chinese, I couldn't understand what he was saying to the
passengers, but he looked worried and seemed concerned with
avoiding the military carriers
through some crafty detours.
Suddenly the bus came to a
halt. Through the driver's ges-
ticulatory motions, I understood
he wanted everyone off the bus.
As I threw my backpack on my
shoulders, I saw why the driver
had refused to drive any further.
About 100 metres up the road
there was an enormous convoy of
army vehicles which led almost a
full mile to Tiananmen Square.
I was surprised to see citizens
mingling with the soldiers,
laughing, smiling, and sharing
cigarettes. This comforted me,
seeing these soldiers displaying
human emotions. I honestly
thought at this time that the soldiers were merely a precautionary measure. Certainly they were
not going to be used for an offensive attack. They could not possibly do harm to their brothers and
sisters.
As I stumbled along, searching for the hostel, I met a Chinese
woman who spoke English reasonably well. After she kindly
gave me directions to the hostel, I
asked her if the installments of
soldiers had been there long.
With complete seriousness she
said "These troops have only ar-
Lights out in  Beijing
rived today. Something bad is
about to happen." She then vanished nervously in the congested
streets of Beijing.
In the early hours of June 4,
1989,1 slept peacefully and undisturbed in the Beijing Hostel as
hundreds, perhaps thousands, of
innocent students were crushed
horrifically by tanks.
A pounding on the door of my
room awoke me at about dawn. It
was my Scottish friend, Tony,
staring at me in disbelief, his Sony
shortwave radio glued to his ear.
"Voice of America" had just given
news of the takeover of Tiananmen Square by troops, leaving
an undisclosed number of students dead.
Along with my James, an Australian friend whom I had been
travelling with for some time. I
raced down to the square on my
rented bicycle. The streets were a
shambles. Garbage bins were
overturned. Rocks and glass covered the streets. Tires of military
personnel carriers were smoldering as burnt-out vehicles stood
motionless.
I was approached by many of
the Chinese students and civilians
who desperately tried to tell me of
the atrocities which took place
only hours earlier. By putting
their fingers up to their throats
and cutting across in a horizontal
fashion, they were trying to tell me
that many of their friends and
family had been murdered. Their
eyes conveyed a fear and anger
which I had never seen before.
Suddenly gunfire let loose. I
was only 200 metres from the
barricaded square. In panic, I
quickly turned my bicycle around
and raced off with thousands of
screaming people, a sound which I
doubt could ever be emulated. My
heart and adrenalin were pumping furiously.
I became worried when James
didn't catch up with me after the
shooting. Later that night I found
out he had been unable to turn his
bicycle around fast enough.
Throngs of frenzied people went
charging past him, knocking him
off his bike and subsequently
trampling him. Miraculously, he
suffered only scrapes and bruises.
There were reports that bodies
were being burnt in order to reduce the fatality count, and there
was indeed smoke rising from
various parts of the occupied
square. An army helicopter was
constantly being flown in and out
ofthe square, picking up bodies of
the dead soldiers and flying them
to some unknown destination,
where they could be disposed of
without leaving any trace.
As I was cycling past a hospital
on my way to the east entrance of
the square, I stopped at a large
gathering of people who were listening to the pleas of a doctor who
was asking them to donate blood.
He was in need of a special blood
type which could possibly save the
life of a young pregnant woman
Who had been shot in the neck by a
soldier.
Just then, a bicycle with a cart
attached to the back of it came
rushing by with two injured Chinese males in it. One seemed to be
in extreme pain, clutching his
side, while the other didn't seem to
be in any pain at all. In fact, he lay
motionless.
During the troubled days in
Beijing, rumours were flying
around as wildly as bullets. No one
knew what was happening. Talk of
civil war between the 27th and
39th armies was looming. Shortwave radio signals from the west
were being jammed by the Chinese
^authorities, preventing anyone
from knowing how the outside
world was reacting to the crisis
that was unfolding.
Cycling around the city with
my camera concealed in my day
pack, I wasn't scared of the commotion in Tiananmen. I had some
ridiculous preconceived notion
that because I was travelling with
a Canadian passport, I would be
exempt from the perils of this war
torn city. However, when caught
amongst gunfire, I quickly realized bullets cannot discern the
nationality of your passport. Then
I was terrified, intrinsically aware
of my vulnerability as I passed
through a city of horrors.
Blood stains and puddles of
blood were splashed in and around
Tiananmen Square. I came across
a pool of blood which had obviously
been left by a woman whose white
shoes remained behind.
I thought of all the
wonderful people I had met
throughout the country and
how the last few days in
Beijing would affect them for
the rest of their lives.
by Daryl Krywonis (CUP)
While cycling near the Beijing
Hotel, caught up in all the action,
I came upon a charred human
body, hanging lifeless from a pedestrian overpass. I suddenly felt
sick to my stomach. It was the
remains of a soldier. He had been
beaten to death, then doused with
petrol and set ablaze. A noose had
then been wrapped around his
neck and he was hung up on display, a sickening sign of defiance.
A few of the English-speaking
members ofthe mob told me this
soldier was getting exactly what
he deserved. I was told how this
lynched soldier had only eight
hours earlier driven a tank over
an elderly woman as she was carrying her grandchild. Madness
brews madness, I thought.
I was careful when taking photographs and often leery of exposing my camera in public. A German friend of mine was caught
while trying to photograph a
group of soldiers. Two soldiers
chased him, and when he threw
his hands in the air to surrender
they grabbed him by the hair,
then ripped the camera out of his
hands and smashed it on the
blood-stained pavement. Though
he was later outraged at the loss
of his camera, my friend was at
the same time relieved he himself
had not suffered a similar fate.
By the seventh of June, tension was boiling in the streets of
Beijing. The stage was set for civil
war. I was on the top floor of the
International Hotel having a look
down toward Tiananmen, when I
noticed a single file of tanks proceeding east on Chang'an Avenue
towards us. Just then an American businessman who had been
sharing the view with me said
that the tanks were out to enforce
the 5 p.m. curfew which had recently been imposed by the military. According to my watch, it
was 5 p.m. at that very moment!
Aware that I was at least 25
minutes from my hostel by bicycle, I ran to the elevator out of
the hotel in less than a minute. I
jumped on my bike and raced
towards my hostel, hoping I could -
avoid any confrontation with thej
tanks. Despite a punctured rear|
tier, I arrived at the hostel safe
and sound, and breathless.
At this point I knew I would
not be safe in Beijing any longer.'
I phoned the Canadian Embassy
and they advised me to get to their
compound as soon as possible. I'
spent my last night in China at
the embassy, seeking refuge from
the horrors that beset the streets
of the city. The next morning I
joined the Canadian escort to the
airport, along with about 200;
other Canadians who were as
confused and befuddled as my-;
self.
On the way to the airport I felt
saddened. My adventurous, if not
precarious, trip through China
had come to an unexpected and
abrupt end. But more than that, I
felt for the horribly oppressed
people of China. I thought of all
the wonderful people I had met
throughout the country and how
the last few days in Beijing would
affect them for the rest of their
lives.
As we passed the last of the
stone-faced soldiers, their guns
ready and alert, I thought how
lucky I was to be leaving this military ravaged country, but many of
the courageous students and
people of Beijing would not share
my luck. Their fate was dismal.
Now they can only hide and await
inevitable and inescapable punishment.
December 1,1989
THEUBYSSEY/5
i.irx)ao atii % Hope for those who
struggle in and for
happiness
IRWIN OOSTINDIE PHOTO
6/THE UBYSSEY
December 1,1989 NEWS
Salvadoran University fights repression
by Deanne Fisher
and Lynn Marchildon
Canadian University Press
OTTAWA (CUP) — On the
first night of his visit to El
Salvador, Brad Hornick
awoke three times to the
roar of bombs hitting parts
of the campus where he
stayed.
A week before he
arrived in El Salvador, 15
students were shot during a
protest over the kidnapping
of one of their leaders. And
as Hornick attended two
conferences of the popular
movement of trade unions,
church groups and farmworker's groups, 18 students were captured by the
military.
Hornick was one of several
Canadian students and professors
who went to El Salvador in August
to support the student movement
and provide protection as an international and to attend conferences
and to find ways to help bring an
end to repression by the El Salva
doran government.
They returned with 25 hours
of film footage — testimony ofthe
increased repression on the academic community under El Salvador's ARENA government — and
concrete plans to bring meaning to
sister relationships with Canadian groups that until now, have
been on paper only.
"The student movement in
Latin America plays a dramatically different role than it does
here," said Hornick. "Students
play a great intellectual leadership role. Their autonomy is under
direct attack by right-wing governments."
The University of El Salvador
considers itself lucky to have commenced the fall semester.
"In spite ofthe constant threats
by enemies of culture, such as the
military encirclement around the
University for the past several
months, intended to obstruct the
full development of the Alma
Mater's teaching, research and
social outreach activities, the
semester commenced on the correct date as planned," reads a UES
newsletter.
Committed to being a "popular, democratic, free and humanistic" institution with low tuition,
the university attracts children of
the elite, union representatives
and city peasants alike and has a
history of being terrorized by the
El Salvadoran government.
After four years of operating
in exile, its facilities destroyed by
the military, the University reopened in 1984. Since the 1989
spring election of the far-right
ARENA party and subsequent intensification of'anti-terrorist' legislation prohibiting forms of popular expression such as demonstrations and graffiti, the University's
existence once again faces anhila-
tion.
Its motto now reads, "The
University of El Salvador Refuses
to Die."
McMaster University professor Graeme MacQueen, along with
two other professors and two students, visited the university and is
now trying to establish a twinning
of McMaster and the UES to provide international support.
He said the university exists
"to bring about social change to
make a more humane and just
society in their society." In contrast to most Canadian universities, the UES reaches out to the
community to learn from it. One
campus project sees students
study folklore involving local
herbs to provide alternaitve medicine to people too poor to afford
prescription drugs.
"The University is very much
victimized but it's not just a passive victim. It's a very gutsy institution," he said. "It was very disturbing talking to them andrealiz-
ing what people have to go through
just beinga part of the university."
Its motto now
reads, "The University of El Salvador
Refuses to Die."	
One woman told Dr. Mac-
Queen how a close friend of hers
"was found one day with his hands
tied behind his back, and his eyes
gouged out, dead on the street."
"Two were undergraduates
and one was a secretary. None of
them as far as we could determine
were politically active," said Mac-
Queen. "They were just picked up
randomly in order to terrorize the
university and increase the pressure on it."
Hornick, too, is spearheading
a move to bring more meaning to a
sister relationship between the
Pacific Region of the Canadian
Federation of Students and the
largest student federation in El
Salvador — the General Association of Salvadoran University
Students (AGEUS).
Hornick hopes to convince 30
Canadian student unions to contribute funds and their names to a
full-page advertisement in the
Globe and Mail stating that they
are "witness to the repression" of
the University of El Salvador.
AGEUS needs a printing
press, darkroom facilities and an
office so that they can continue to
document their on-going battle to
save the university. They have
been unable to publish a student
newspaper since December, according to Hornick, and newspapers are one of their main forms of
protest.
Another facet ofthe CFS plan
involves a national network of
student unions who would receive
'alerts' from El Salvador when
violence erupts or students are
captured. Canadian students
would then respond with telegrams and faxes of support showing the government that the international community is watching.
The University of El Salvador
relies now on international support to ensure its survival. The
Peace Camp in Defense of UES
Autonomy brings international
delegates to campus and facilitates the establishment of communication channels between the
UES and the international community.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you..."
___ m 8      _»-s*    _n_r    _ £.______» ______■___&  m  mb^s^a^.^ * . *
The PW Recruiting Team from left to right: Bill Garrard, Heather Nicolaas, Deirdre Carter, Craig Campbell,
Bev Bennett, Greg Pederson
.. .for coming by to see us - on campus and in our office
discussions with Price Waterhouse staff were informative,
and fun. We enjoyed meeting all of you.
We hope all of your
useful... interesting
Good luck with your Christmas exams...and Cheers!
Price Waterhouse
#
Make the Right Choice
We will
run your
letters ...
promise.
We just
have a
backlog.
A.U.S.
ELECTIONS
nominations are
now open for the
TWO VACANT
POSITIONS
Of
AMS Representative
Nomination forms can be picked
up in BUCH A107, and must be
returned by 3:30pm on Friday,
Dec. 1st 1989. Elections will be
January 8,9,10.
December 1,1989
THE UBYSSEY/7 a few facts you probably didn't know about...
THE FRATERNITIES AND
SORORITIES OF UBC
The Fraternities and Sororities of UBC:
• Contribute each year tens of thousands of dollars and countless hours to local and
national charitable organizations.
• Represent the highest group participation in the UBC Intramural Sports Program.
• Display student leadership in all facets of student government including positions in
the AMS, on the Senate, and on the Board of Governors.
• Pursue academic excellence - the chapters across North America have a collective
GPA above the average all-students' GPA.
• Provide a dynamic social environment that enhances individual, personal growth.
On behalf of the UBC Fraternities and Sororities we wish all the
students, faculty, and staff at UBC a very happy holidays!
UBC FRATERNITIES AND SORORITIES: A DRIVING FORCE IN CAMPUS LIFE.
THESE STUDENTS MADE
$370,000
IN A SUMMER
JOIN A SUCCESSFUL TEAM
BE A COLLEGE PRO MANAGER
Apply Now - Interviews In Progress
For More Information Phone 879-4105
8/THE UBYSSEY December 1,1989 FRBESTYU*
NDP convention offers no heir apparent
by Martin Chester
The New Democratic Party of
Canada, in Winnipeg this weekend for their bi-annual convention, is embroiled in the first truly
competitive leadership campaign
in the party's history.
Unlike past campaigns where
an obvious heir apparent was
anointed, the present campaign to
replace the departing Edward
Broadbent, party leader since
1975, is highly competitive because there really is no credible
candidate in the race.
The front runners are Yukon
MP Audrey McLaughlin and B.C.
MP and former Premier Dave
Barrett, who are credible politicians but not national leadership
material. McLaughlin is an inexperienced politician, has only been
involved in federal politics since
1986,   and   is   an   uninspiring
speaker. She has significant support at the moment but is not
likely to build her support at the
convention.
There will be two opportunities for candidates to build up
support at the convention: with
the speeches on Friday, or in the
'bear pits', a formal series of short
debates between the candidates
on topics chosen by the convention
delegates. It is vital for candidates
to be able to perform well in these
two theatres, and this is exactly
where McLaughlin is the weakest.
Barrett, on the other hand, is
a strong speaker and should perform very well in the "bear pits'.
Barrett's weakness, however, is
that he is unilingual. Do not be too
surprised if some questions at the
convention are asked in French
just to trip him up.
It is generally agreed that a
party leader, if the party wants
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national support, must be bilingual, at least to the extent that
Broadbent was bilingual, and his
French was poor.
At present Mclaughlin is
thought to be leading the race but
only by a short margin ahead of
Barrett. To win both will have to
pull in supporters of the other
candidates as they drop out.
The first to drop out will likely
be Roger Lagasse, a school teacher
from Sechelt with no political experience. Lagasse is a throw-away
candidate, who seems to be in the
race primarily to remind the NDP
of its lower class and Cooperative
Commonwealth Confederation
roots. Lagasse's supporters will
not have an impact.
Steven Langdon and Ian
Waddell could play the role of
kingmakers. They have enough
supporters to make the difference
in a tight final ballot. Neither will
be around after the first couple of
ballots.
Langdon has two handicaps.
The first is a hereditary disease
which makes his hands quiver and
his voice quaver—disastrous for a
politician. The other is that he is a
true Socialist in the old-time
Christian Socialist style of the
CCF's first leader J.S.
Woodsworth.
Waddell is flaky and has
made enemies in the NDP by
publicly opposing the party's
stand on the Meech Lake Accord.
With all this said, there is still
the possibility neither McLaughlin nor Barrett will win. Their are
two candidates who, as the front
runners split the vote, could sneak
in and play the role of spoiler.
The first is Simon de Jong, an
ex-hippie and committed environmentalist, who has the support of
perhaps half of the very large
group of delegates from his home
province, Saskatchewan. Saskatchewan will be represented by
about 200 delegates. De Jong is an
experienced, though low profile,
candidate who has been in the
House of Commons for ten years.
De Jong has little support
outside of Saskatchewan and little
union support, so he is unlikely to
win but he could send a scare into
the leading candidates.
The second possible spoiler is
Howard McCurdy, another excellent orator who has the support of
the powerful Ontario union movement. His prime strengths are his
Ontario origins, and his aggressive nature, which will win him
supporters in the *bear pits'.
It would not be too surprising
if McCurdy sneaks in from third or
fourth place to steal victory as Joe
Clark did in the 1976 Tory convention.
RED LEAF RESTAURANT
LUNCHEON SMORGASBORD
Unique Traditional Chinese   4T
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Vancouver
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December 1,1989
THE UBYSSEY/9 10/THE UBYSSEY
December 1, 1989 December 1,1989
THE UBYSSEY/11 (^^B-o-x-e-dQ^S)
Christmas Cards
Get them early this year -
we have a great selection!
-2
i y i 5     I y 9 »
BOOKSTORE
--.■.i*>--J--"-»tV"
IfiMQt'fiQMlNWP f*OMJWK26
6200 University Boulevard • 228-4741        anniversary
iB** =
TANG'S
Noodle House
WONTON
SOUP
HOUSE
SPECIAL
10% off with AMS Card or copy of this ad
2807 W. Broadway •  737-1278
BEST BREAKFAST IN TOWN
The Corner of Broadway & Burrard
1794 W. Broadway
Vancouver B.C.
731-1319
Mon-Fri   8:00 - 5:00     Saturday 8:00 - 3:00
Sunday/Holidays 9:00 - 3:00
Our Customers Are The Reason We Are In Business
Muelebach, Sandra Stephanson, Deb
Fullon, Mark Perreault, Clare
Linthewaite, Teresa Rind, Geoff Berner
and Svetozar Kontic in unison.
Patricia Edwards, Mandel Ngan and
Pat Nakamura ran into the muffin shop
and sat down to talk about their condos.
In the muffin shop John Duthie, Penny
Churchas, Tara Shioye, Rebecca Bishop
and Otto Lim watched MTV and talked
on their cellular phones. They ate organic
food but weren't vegetarians. No way
anyone was letting them into the 90s.
Ross McLaren had a plan of his
own. "Live off the land. Self-sufficiency
before the 90's nudge us into a netherworld." Parminder Parmar, Liz Nunoda,
Steve Chan and Kevin Hams Joined up.
Steve burst into tears, realizing he'd have
to sell his car, and Olivia Zanger ran over
to comfort him. Ian Wallace fell in love
with Olivia and bought her a dust-buster
as a present. "Back to the 70s," cried
Olivia.
Franka Cordua-von Specht raised
the blind and giggled, looking embarrassed, with an unfurled thingy in her
hand. She joined the mysterious faction.
Lisa Doyle, Jennifer Lyall, Joanne
Nielson, Esther Besel, Carla Maftechuck
and Carol Hui followed Franka and sat at
her feet, eating sushi mysteriously. Laura
J. May sat alone, listening to middle aged
rock stars on her CD. player. But a
demand for new-age music came from
Laura Hansen, Gabriella King, Rob Reid,
Ed Koo, David Van der Wetering, Robert
Borhis and Christina Yee.
Back in the muffin shop the T.V.
displayed Geraldo and Oprah Winfrey,
While Noah Quastel, Sylvia Peltier,
Monica Delmos and John Hudson ran by
screaming, "Give us Trump's head on a
platter. Well serve it with coolers and dry
beer. And change the station. Gretsky.
on the other channel."
Lisa Doyle jumped out ofthe
espresso machine and threw condoms at
everyone. "Have a kinder, gentler fuck,"
she said. But Christina Park and Dale
Fallon were more interested in s,afe
investing. Catherine Lu took them aside
and warned them that the stock market
would probably crash again, what with
the anarchists around. Myron Neville,
Linda Chobotuck, and Jason Glynnas,
Joanne Nielson, Esther Beser and Joe
Adonis Altwasser grinnned fiendishly.
They too were of the smash-the-state
cabal.
Steve Conrad bought a blueberry
muffin and sat at the booth, with a
mysterious twinkle in his eyes. Guess
what faction he belonged to.
Chung Wong and Robert Groberman
stared recycling all the paper in the
muffin shop. Ernie Stelzer and Rick
Hiebert lectured everyone about
styrofoam till Rick ran after Mark
Nielson and Wong Kwok Sum and asked
them to shut Ernie up. Michael Gazetas
and Mike Booth formed the Mike faction
but got confused when Yukie wanted to
join. She explained to them the possibilities offered by magic realism and soon
they let anyone join the Mike club, even
Stacey Newcombe, Brian Hulme, David
Loh, Greg Davis and Kris Obertas.
Katherine Vogt went to join but Nikki
Patel stopped her, explaining that it was
not realistic.
"Just say no," said Nikki. Effie Pow
watched movie sequel after movie sequel,
in despair. The anarchators wouldn't leave
her alone. The Trump-killers wanted her
help too. She already had over-committed
her time, working as a desktop publisher
and surrogate mother all at one. She
remembered Harold Gravelsins' words:
"Youll never leave behind the margaritas,
rap music, cajun food and Madonna video."
Effie took crack and listened to Dr.
Ruth on the radio. She was a wipe-out.
When the anarchists found her she was
reading U.S.A. Today.
One ofthe articles tod the story of
Heather Logie, who had lived alone in a
cave in Northern B.C. for 18 years. A
woman named Robin Iwata had gone up
and written a book about her. She wanted
to get information out to the world. She
loved fax machines. She used to get drunk
and horny and sad and fax documents all
over the world at odd hours. Ted Ing found
her one night, soused on Jack Daniels,
faxing out messages to Australia.
Katherine Monk understood. She too
was trying to break out the entropy that
oozed creepily out of the T.V. screen. She
lost hope when she heard I mei da Marcos
singing Feelings on the radio.
"But he smashed the record afterwards," cried Deanne Fisher frantically.
Martin Chester returned, with Trump on a
stake. But his wife was still alive. Luis
Piedmont appeared wearing Ivana Red
lipstick, showing ofT her thinner thighs,
chattering happily about the benefits of
liposuction. Julie Roberts reported that 14
governments had been smashed so far and
there were still 17 shopping days till
Christmas. Lorraine Schober gave up on
the environment Wendi Shin and Hao Li
said "Love will save us all," but Dale Lund
replied. "Get real."
• AfeftX- *********
Sof^
;Vw\tf'Q
To
SHOUT
•Ol It      «-Er«> 56W
T*-oe<ss6.t *•* ">ftra»
CA$H F0R0BED BOOKS
Bring your used books to the Bookstore & get
CA$H BACK.  Soft- or hard cover, whether used
on this campus or not, we will buy all current
edition titles that have a resale market value.
Good Luck on your Christmas Exams!
BUY    BACK    DAYS
Dec. 11-15/89 9am -5pm Mon. to Fri.
I  9  1  5  -   1  9 9 0
BOOKSTORE
6200 University Boulevard • 228-4741
ANNIVERSARY
12/THE UBYSSEY
December 1,1989 N£WS
Students condemn styrofoam cups
ONE HOUR
by Mortika Delmos
Are UBC students environmentally conscious?
When asked in a recent survey put out by the Student Environment Centre (SEC) whether
students would like to see a reduction in styrofoam cups on campus,
99 out of 100 students said yes.
Styrofoam cups are made
with chlorofluorocarbons (CFCs),
a chemical agent that contributes
to the deterioration of the ozone
layer, which in turn is the earth's
only protection from harmful radioactive rays emitted by the sun.
James Young, a member of
the SEC, said CFC-free cups are
an improvement but not a solution to the problem because the
cups made with CFCs release
highly toxic pollutants when
burnt for disposal. If not burnt,
the cups will sit in landfills for an
estimated 150 years before bio-
degrading.
"Our basic purpose is to rid
students ofthe idea that we live in
a disposable society," said Young.
In doing so, students will be prepared for the 1990's when the
environment becomes an even
hotter issue, he said.
According to Young, the
spread of information is the only
way to reduce the level of ignorance in our society. He said reduction of levels of harmful toxic
agents and non-biodegradable
products is not enough, and that
elimination must be sought as the
solution.
Eighty per cent ofthe survey's
respondents were willing to purchase reusable portable cups and
carry it for their use on campus.
Two-thirds did not feel a financial
incentive, such as cheaper (portable) cups, were even necessary.
"People are doing this because
they are concerned about the environment, not because they are
financially motivated," said Pond.
Though they are not rid of
styrofoam, Blue Chip Cookies is
leading the way on campus with
the sale of $3 plastic portable cups.
They have already sold out. Another shipment of 2,000 cups will
be arriving December 1 to be sold
at $1 each.
In order to target new students
next September, the Student
Environment Centre hopes to find
an outlet on campus willing to
distribute a larger number of portable cups.
On September 16, 1987, 24
countries, including Canada,
signed the 'Montreal Protocol',
which states their intention to
reduce CFCs by one-half by 1990.
"This gives weight to the average citizen to dispute the government on environmental issues,"
said Ellen Pond, a co-ordinator at
the SEC.
International aid program for students
by Alan Nichol
Tired of just hearing about
environmental and Third World
issues? Frustrated by all the talk?
Youth Challenge International (YCI) is a new organization
currently seeking participants for
projects in Guyana during 1990.
YCI have initiated community
service projects, ranging from
building schools to undertaking
immunization programs, in Chile,
Cameroon, Kenya, India, Pakistan and Malaysia. Scientific experiments investigating ecosystems and conservation have also
been conducted in many areas.
"We found two new species of
bird that day...I lay awake listening to the sounds ofthe rain forest,
wondering what tomorrow would
bring," said Dave Briggs, a venturer in Malaysia.
Volunteers say intimate contact with other cultures has a way
of putting the good and the bad of
their own into sharp relief, and
most participants come back home
with a better understanding of
Third World issues and of themselves.
"I firmly believe the unique
nature of the Youth Challenge
International program has allowed me to experience tremendous personal growth while reaching and inspiring others in ways
which otherwise would not have
been possible," said Doug Whitty,
from Toronto.
Participants go through a selection weekend in which they
learn first aid, cooking and how to
build shelters. They are selected
on their ability to communicate
effectively, to work with others
and to remain positive under often
gruelling conditions.
The weekend prepares participants for tasks such as helping
field doctors perform eye surgery,
building a school or teaching children how to recognize the symptoms of typhoid.
YCIvolunteersmustbe Canadian citizens between the ages of
17 and 24 years. There will be a
presentation about the program
Friday, December 1, at 2:30p.m. in
SUB 215.
The University of British Columbia
ENGLISH COMPOSITION TEST
TUESDAY, DECEMBER 5, 1989
From 8:30 a.m. to 11:00 a.m.
Rooms open at approximately 8:00 a.m. Students must write the Test in
the rooms to which they have been assigned by the Registrar's Office.
ROOM ASSIGNMENTS
Report to the room according to your surname;
take photo ID with you.
AAA
-    BER
ANGU       104
LBA    -
LEZ
HENN      201
BES
-    CGZ
ANGU      no
LFA    -
MAB
HENN      202
CHA
-    CHT
CSCI         200
MAC   -
NGN
HEBB        TH
CHU
-    DAN
CSCI         201
NGO  -
PAR
CHEM      150
DAO
-    ELM
GEOG      100
PAS    -
PZZ
CHEM      250
ELN
-    GMZ
MATH       100
QAA  -
RXZ
BIOL      2000
GNA
-    HOA
BUCH    A106
RYA    -
SMD
SCRF       100
HOB
-    JAN
BUCH    A104
SME   -
SUN
MCML      166
JAO
-    KEM
BUCH    A100
SUO   -
VLC
WESB      100
KEN
-    LAZ
HENN      200
VLD    -
ZZZ
WOOD         2
All students with credit for English 100 or its equivalent must buy a fee-paid
sticker ($10.00) from the Department of Finance, 3rd Floor,
Administration Building. English 100 students do not need stickers.
Dictionaries permitted.
Note: The next sitting of the ECT is Friday, March 16, 6:00-8:30 p.m.
students writing in March must purchase fee-paid stickers.
All
10th and Alma Location Only
3665 WEST 10™ AVE.
PHONE 736-5669
.__ in Canada by FBM Distillery Ltd., Brampton, Ontario
NOBODY HURRIES at Jack Daniel's Distillery
in Lynchburg, Tennessee. There's time to do
things right.
Every drop of Jack Daniel's Whiskey
is seeped for days through room-high
mellowing vats before aging. It's an
old-time Tennessee method that
simply must be taken slowly. Then,
after mellowing, our whiskey
gains added smoothness as it
sleeps long years in charred
oak barrels. Yes, it takes a lot
of time to make Jack Daniel's.
But after a sip, we think you'll
agree it's worth every minute.
JACK DANIEL'S TENNESSEE WHISKEY
If you'd like a booklet about Jack Daniel's Whiskey, Write us here in Lynchburg, Tennessee, 37352, U.SA
December 1,1989
THE UBYSSEY/13 CHUNG WONG PHOTO
-M*
cleaves ballroom
by Greg Davis
It was an evening of intrigue, joy and madness. The
Jazz Butcher Conspiracy,
England's eclectic rock
ensemble, infiltrated the
Commodore Ballroom on
Tuesday to execute their
devious plan to destroy the
moral integrity and sound
mind of Canadian youth.
MUSIC
Jazz Butcher Conspiracy
Commodore Ballroom
November 28
First of all, The Stoaters,
those bastions of corruption
and moral disintegration,"
opened the show with a
revolutionary assault of
Celtic rock.
The term Stoater is colloquial Scottish for someone
enamoured by his looks.
Decked out in navy blue
Artillery jackets from the old
century, they sure lived up to
their name. They unleashed
vibrant, exciting sounds—a
dynamic mixture of guitar,
bass, drums, accordion, and
electric mandolin. Aye! 'Twas
foot-stompin' music to evoke
the demons and derelicts of
ages long past.
After a brief repose to
slug down some more brew,
the Jazz Butcher and his
comrades emerged on stage,
enveloping the crowd with   „
melodic spacey sounds of a
telecaster. Patrick Fish is the
Jazz Butcher, and with his
band they are collectively
known as the Jazz Butcher
Conspiracy.
The JBC could be a front
for some Marxist cell, what.
with the bass player's beret
and the guitarist who looked
like (and was referred to as)
Lenin.
An assortment of their favourite numbers was included in their musical
manifesto, including The Best
Waya, Southern Mark Smith,
Mr. Odd from their Spooky
album, and Bicycle Kid, my
favourite track from the new
LP, Big Planet Scary Planet.
Lot 49 whipped Butchy's
fans into a crazed, throbbing
dance, and everyone was
slamming to the raucous
Caroline Wheeler's Birthday
Present. Alice Cooper's got
nothing on these boys.
The band played no less
than three encores, in which
Pat Fish first emerged with a
cigarette and a tall can of
beer.
'This is the sensitive
smoking part of the show," he
quipped. "I smoke, you
watch," he said, as he started
into the essential, and oh so
appropriate Partytime.
In light of recent events
in Eastern Europe, the JBC
did a version of B.B. Gabor's
Moscow Drug Club, and then
lit into a romping version of
The Devil is my Friend. The
masses raved and rallied like
Czechoslovakian protesters
and shook the bloody ballroom floor.
For the grand finale the
band ripped into King of Joy,
a tune written in 1987 by
some mad Scotsman, I've
forgotten his name now. They
left the crowd in throes of
ecstasy, the final score: JBC
1, Vancouver nil. After the
cheers showed no sign of
subsiding, Lenin jumped back
out to take a snapshot ofthe
audience for KGB files. Then
the others came out, throwing
grapes into the sea of waving
arms, and sang a quirky
Everly Brothers song.
La,la,la, it was a happy
time, a bloody nonsense time,
a fun and fishy time, a big
and scary time. Just the tops.
Friday
Make History
by Bradley Dickson
54-40, Canada's answer
to U2, were 'welcomed home'
by a fairly enthusiastic
audience Friday night at the
Orpheum.
MUSIC
54-40 with Ultima Thule
Orpheum
November 24
Having spent part of this
year playing in Russia, the
band brought back with them
a souvenir of their travels—
opening act Ultima Thule,
from Estonia, who performed
a professional, if not particularly inspiring, set of original,
English language songs.
If nothing else, Ultima
Thule proved that music
indeed knows no cultural or
political bounds—even
mediocre music. But the
musicians themselves were
affable enough, particularly
the energetic drummer, who
played with a wide variety of
objects, including his skull.
When 54-40 took to the
stage, they were plagued with
sound problems, which is a
shame in such an acoustically
fine venue as the Orpheum.
The vocals and guitar were
not loud enough, which
rendered many of their songs
unintelligible and hollow-
sounding. In addition to the
poor sound quality, some of
their early songs seemed particularly devoid of life: Cha-
Cha, for example, was little
more than a dirge.
However, as is usually
the case with this band,
things got better as they went
along. If their older tunes
sounded tired, the material
from their new album, Fight
for Love, was anything but.
Journey, a song reflecting
band leader Neil Osborne's
association with Amnesty
International, was a turning
point in the show.
Next, the band played a
'video set,' playing the songs
that have been made popular
by television airplay of rock
videos. One Gun and Miss
You were greeted with
recognition, a few fans even
going so far as to toss a few
flowers onstage, a la the
video.
Then, having apparently
been roused by remembered
TV images, and realizing that
these scruffy gentlemen
really were the same ones
they had seen on MuchMusic,
a few of the younger members
of the crowd were compelled
to clamber onstage. As usual,
the security were overly
rough, and Osborne rebuked
them, while at the same time
h/V
subtly cautioning the crowd
by making reference to the
loveliness ofthe theatre.
After finishing with a
terrific version ofthe new
song Baby Have Some Faith,
which Phil Comparelli
prefaced with an experimental and effective guitar intro,
the band came back with
stirring renditions of their
previous hits Walk in Line
and One Day in Your Life.
They then brought out
their opening act, Ultima
Thule. Both bands then
collaborated on an extended,
freestyle version of 54-40's
own Standing in the Way,
electing, thankfully, not to
play something more profound, anthemic, or by Woody
Guthrie.
"You're going to see
history made tonight,"
Osborne told the crowd,
referring to the playing
together of Canadian and Estonian bands.
But any potential pomposity was defused by the
musicians themselves, who
played loosely and with
obvious enjoyment. It was a
fitting conclusion to an evening that, despite a slow
start, ultimately gave one
their money's worth. Besides,
how often does one see
history made at a pop concert?
fcV
_-$_
The spirit of coward
is brought to life
by Nadene Rehnby
and Denise Dyson
NEVER has such a terrible
first act been able to
pull itself together by the final
curtain with such vivacity and
spirit.
THEATRE
Blithe Spirit
Vancouver Playhouse
Until December 23
There is no question ofthe
sheer brilliance of Noel Coward's
Blithe Spirit. The play is supreme escapist entertainment:
Written primarily for a wartime
audience, it is reckless about
such serious issues as death, yet
witty and sturdy enough to grab
onto an audience, completely
engrossing them in its humour.
But the first act in the Vancouver Playhouse production is
boring, boring, boring. The plot is
lifelessly established: a country
doctor writing a book on the
occult invites a medium to his
house to observe the "tricks of
the trade." During the seance, he
recalls the spirit of his dead wife.
Wife number two is understandably not impressed.
Coward's script is good, but
the cast doesn't seem to think so.
They are tired and lost as they
rush breathlessly through their
lines, seemingly unaware of the
other characters. The accents,
bumbled through on fast forward, come across as completely
unintelligible at times. Both cast
and audience seem to be eagerly
awaiting first intermission.
The play comes a long way
during the following two acts. A
power struggle between Mrs.C-
the-ghost and Mrs.C.-the-living
results in an awful predicament
for the husband that is fresh,
alive, and funny. The actors
capture the essence of Coward's
script, giving excellent performances and delivering well-timed
lines with both eloquence and
humour.
Nicola Cavendish serves up
the medium, Madame Arcanti,
with relish, meeting and surpassing many difficult challenges
and creating a character that
astonishes and delights. It is not
surprising that Miss Cavendish,
a well-loved Vancouver actress,
has come so far. Her performance is perfect.
Goldie Semple as Elvira
plays the evocative, playful wife
to Wendy Thatcher's practical,
power-hungry Ruth. The two
wives play off each other brilliantly, creating a dramatic and
humourous tension from which
the entire play benefits.
John Moffat's Charles was
the worst part of that lifeless
first act. Fortunately, this only
makes his later re-emergence all
the more significant and appreciated. Lines that fell flat, usually
because they couldn't be heard,
metamorphoses into some strong
moments toward the end of the
play.
What director Larry Lillo
fails to do with his actors in the
first act is not reflected in his
larger vision. Set, costume and
lighting work skillfully together.
In particular, set and lighting
designer Douglas Welch and
costume designer Phillip Clarkson successfully create a stunning, ghostly yet graceful, image
of Elvira. Welch's stage is well-
planned: As well as being both
pleasing to the eye and workable
for the cast, it also contains a few
surprises of its own.
Blithe Spirit is a sophisticated comedy, yet it is one that
can be enjoyed by all. Stick
through the first part ofthe
Playhouse production; the second
half is well worth the waiting.
Mysticism drawn down
by Catie Pickles
WOW. Heavy. The return
to psychedelia and
mysticism? Out of a mist of
incense and up from the glow of
candles comes this sign-of-the-
times account of the state of the
astral plane and other cosmic
matters in Canada.
PRINT
Witches, Pagans, And Magic
In The New Age
Kevin Marron
Seal Books Toronto, 1989,
$24.95
Author Kevin Marron lets us
float along with him as he
explores the lives and obsessions
of witches, elves, pagans and satanists.
This book is as much a personal journey for Marron to discover what forces he sways with
as it is an attempt to cash in on
the current upsurge of interest in
things with magical connections.
The reader is often left to waft
along clinging to Marron's coat-
tails, absorbing considerable insights and the commonsense,
well-read approach which
Marron brings to a potentially
sensationalist topic.
A rational interpretation of
the so-called New Age Movement
is offered, along with a critical
analysis of the people who are
casting the circles and encountering the curses.
What Marron conjures up is
a glimpse into the lives of a
diverse array of individuals who
appear to cluster around more
than a few kindred characteristics. Using a "journalist's
objectivity," and armed with a
quasi-scientific method of
analysis, Marron draws down
some surprisingly unsurprising
elements.
The friends ofthe planet he
deals with are decidedly earthy,
feminist, and aware they're practicing an old religion in a new
age. At the same time these
people are very ordinary, at
points teetering on the brink of
boredom. Another sprinkling are
simple crooks, into offering cut-
rate curses and plastic pentacles
from their seedy business
ventures.
The witches represented pride
themselves on being able to
operate within a religion that
has freedom from hierarchy and
rules at its centre. Or rather
some of the covens and societies
do. A number of witches hold
lowly opinions of the beliefs and
practices of others. Marron is
able to rub his hands with glee at
the petty squabbles, triviality
and lack of depth which he
encounters.
Some witches Marron gossiped with are willing to concede
that politics are a form of magic.
Others liken spells to prayers
and a few attempt to scientifically rationalize intuition by
reference to the workings of
brain cells.
One of the most startling
contradictions uncovered by this
book is an entity Marron interviews called Alf. Alf claims to be
a witch, reflexologist, palmist,
exorcist and devout Roman
Catholic.
You begin to adopt an
anything-goes attitude when
such desperate elements are
united within one book, however
comprehensive it attempts to be.
This is a shame because there is
more than a hint of something
bigger and deeper behind the
general awareness that Marron
taps into.
It is being heralded that we
are about to enter a new age.
The Age of Pisces, which commenced with the birth of Christ,
is drawing to a close. It is an age
which has witnessed the separation of man from God, good from
evil, male from female and
people from nature.
At this very moment we're in
transition en route to The Age of
Aquarius, of the water bearer,
which will be a time of peace and
unity, occult knowledge and
ESP. People will feel at one with
each other, the earth, and the
universe.
To this optimistic account,
Marron concludes that we derive
our power and truth from
whatever we believe in. Sadly, he
claims that in his journey he has
stripped away the veil of mystery
from magic to reveal something
quite ordinary: will power or goal
actualization.
But hang on. Wasn't this
supposed to be a book about
witches, pagans and magic?
Alternative lifestyles? Where's
the difference and excitement
gone? It appears that interconnection has led to its own
circular downfall.
-; "-*-!»•* «■<
14/THE UBYSSEY
December 1,1989
December 1,1989
THE UBYSSEY/15 liillliiliilli
A   chat   with   Eric   Nicol
ERIC NICOL says "Humour is a bitch
mistress." His mistress, though, has
done very well by him. The famous
Canadian humourist who has a regular
column in The Province hasn't done
badly at all for someone who freely admits that he
planned to teach French for a living.
INTERVIEW
with Canadian humourist
Eric Nicol
"I'm a frustrated teacher. I was going to be a
French teacher. When I took the MA at UBC...I
was just writing the column for The Ubyssey for
the fun of it. It was not a career thing. I didn't
intend to make a career out of it."
Nicol wrote a column for The Ubyssey from
1937 to 1941 and 1945 to 1948 under the pen name
of "Jabez". His column The Mummery took a humourous look at UBC campus life. Nicol went from
UBC to writing for CBC radio and television. He
then acquired his Province column, which he still
continues.
Along the way came over thirty books, the
latest of which is Dickens ofthe Mounted, a
series of mock letters supposedly by Francis
Dickens, the
third son of
famous
novelist Charles Dickens.
Francis, the
dark sheep of
the family,
voyaged
around the
world in
search of adventures that
would make
him famous.
He wound up
joining the
North-west
Mounted Police and
served for
twelve years
on the late
19th century
Canadian
praries.
Nicol got
the germ of
the idea from
his editor,
Douglas Gibbons. "(The
idea) wasn't
terribly attractive at all
at the beginning because
it obviously
meant a hell
of a lot of
Eric Nicol
work which I've always avoided my entire life.
My entire career has been based on avoiding
work and I've done pretty well up to this point."
Nothing daunted, Nicol entered into over two
years of research into the life and times of Francis
Dickens, in particular the history ofthe Mounties
and the background of the Dickens family. He
visited archives and talked to experts who would
help him accurately portray Dickens. Fortunately,
no normal biographer has approached the subject,
so Nicol had a clear field.
Nicol said that as he got to know Francis
Dickens, he began to empathize with his lack of
success in the NWMP. He compared Dickens' record with his own failures as a member of the
reserve officer corps in WWII.
"I think (the book) is a little bit novel in the
approach to the Mounted Police, that is instead of
having someone like Nelson Eddy, the usual terribly heroic figure on the horse in the sunset, we have
somebody who was a failure in the mounted police."
Nicol also feels Dickens ofthe Mounted helps
point out the "magnificent work" of the early
Mounties, when compared to the "American mystique ofthe revolver" and the "slaughters" ofthe
American natives.
Nicol added "I'm interested to see how many
people will tolerate this book, because it's quite
wordy in terms of contemporary humour. It's not a
quick fix."
"Some of the younger people, there seems to
be a bit of a renaissance there," he said. "Your generation appears to be split, in my mind, between
those who are really going back to the printed
word with some relish and a sense of discovery and
those who are lost because in high school, they
never learned to cope with the language and they
prefer the video type of stuff."
Canadian humour, Nicol once argued in A
Herd Of Yaks, had the lowest status among the
arts in Canada.
"You only have to go into the bookstore to find
the humour usually on the shelves beside the children's books. I think that's probably the most
graphic and tellingillustration of it. People sort of
feel that humour is basically silly and it's just one
cut over Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and all
the rest of the kiddie stuff."
"There isn't a great deal of Canadian humour.
When you say Stephen Leacock, you've almost exhausted the list," said Nicol.
"We are really halfway between the Americans and the British. There's a certain self-depreciating tone in Canadian humour that I think is
quite British."
"It doesn't have the robust freewheeling
style ofthe Americans, but we do have what
you'd call
country
humour or
broad humour,
the humour of
exaggeration
that you'd find
more out in the
country than
you do in the
city," said
Nicol, who feels
there is "an awful lot" of regionalism in
Canadian
humour.
"We on the
West coast are
probably pretty
far out," said
Nicol. "It's very
difficult to be
humourous in
British Columbia because it's
tough to top the
current events."
Nicol still enjoys doing his
Province column, but it
does have its
challenges. "For
one thing the
column appears
in the op-ed
page. That sets
a certain requirement to
I01ANDA WEISS PHOTO
me. It means that I can't go drivelling on about
collecting string," he said.
"I still enjoy writing humorous personal essays about things that have gone wrong in my life.
That's been the basis of my sense of humour. Yet,
the really zany stuff that I used to write when I
was young no longer comes as quickly to me. I
think the old brain cells are beginning to atrophy
a little bit and unfortunately one becomes too
logical and the reasoning starts to take over from
the certain berserk inspiration that is necessary
for the really wild stuff that I used to love writing,"
Nicol said. "That's why I like to write a humourous
treatment of a serious issue."
Nicol likes reading the work of other humourists, like the people who write for Punch, Erma
Bombeck and Garrison Keillor. "Woody Allen is a
hero of mine," he said. "I read Woody Allen before
I sit down to write my own stuff, just as a pacesetter."
Though not all humour, particularly that
which depends on filth, vulgarisms or crudity,
meets with Nicol's approval, he feels there is good
humour still coming out. He thinks some television writers, like the ones who write Golden Girls,
are coming out with good material.
"Humour is a bitch mistress. There's no doubt
about that. It's so easy to become lazy and to kid
oneself that what one is doing is funny and good.
I have to keep checking myself all the time against
my standards."
by Rick Hiebert
16/THE UBYSSEY
December 1,1989 ■•_•*..„..
ENTERTAINMENT
Misfit Mountie
is witty stuff
By Rick Hiebert
Nelson Eddy wouldn't have been a natural for The Francis
Dickens Story.
Francis, the third son of novelist Charles Dickens, was a bit of a
misfit.
PRINT
Dickens ofthe Mounted
By Eric Nicol
McClelland and Stewart
He had a problem with drinking. He wasn't very brave. Somewhat deaf and fat too. Not the sort of person that would make a
stereotypical Mountie ofthe type that is immortalized in those old
movies that had Eddy warbling "I am calling youhoohoohooohoohoo-
hoo" to an awestruck Jeanette MacDonald.
Francis wanted to get out ofthe shadow of his elder father and
thus travelled the world in search of adventure, joining the Bengal
Mounted Police and the North-West Mounted Police.
Dickens was a Mountie for 12 years, almost from the inception of
the force. Unfortunately, he left little record of his adventures. That
is, until Vancouver humourist Eric Nicol began to use his imagination.
Nicol has written a mock autobiography of Dickens ofthe
Mounted in the form of letters to the Butts family in England. The
book is based on nearly two years of research and study of the life of
this atypical member of the force.
Dickens, the book postulates, was eager to amass "enough thrilling tales of perilous predicaments among the painted savages (I believe they call them 'dance hall girls') to ambush a London publisher." He didn't quite make it out of his famous father's shadow,
but Francis Dickens is suitable grist for Nicol's mill.
The book stretches things a bit by assuming that Dickens met
Sitting Bull, Louis Riel and Harry Flashman, but it is great fun and
evokes the late Victorian era nicely.
Dickens' adventures as a Mountie are often amusing. Nicol has
captured the mind set and writing style of Dickens' era quite well.
Dickens, who Nicol says "was a very literate man", acquires a
pleasantly wry and reserved British sense of humour through Nicol's
prose that often serves as a pointed afterthought to the society and
events of the time.
The character of Francis Dickens appears to mature and mellow
as the book goes on, which is a nice touch. He becomes a very
sympathetic character by the end ofthe book, particularly with the
comments on the treatment ofthe native peoples ofthe Prairies that
Nicol attributes to him.
It's not Shakespeare, but it does compare well with Nicol's
earlier work. It is a little hard to read for those not used to reading
the Victorian English style of writing, but Dickens of The Mounted is
certainly worth the effort to read.
I can just see Nelson spinning in his grave....
NATIONAL ARCHIVES PHOTO
Eric Nicol says the bearded man right of center in this photo with a sword, pillbox
hat and gloves that resembles "a stumpy looking Charles Dickens" is Francis
uicKens, our hero.
Plaque honors
dead writer
The plaque
DAN ANDREWS PHOTO
Eric Nicol has written over thirty books, won
three Stephen Leacock Awards and produces a
regular column in The Province. These are pretty
neato tricks for someone who is dead.
You laugh? Well, a plaque in Brock Hall is
fixed in the wall across from the Women Students
Office, paying solemn witness to the memory of the
former Ubyssey staffer, who wrote humour columns
on campus life under the nom de plume Jabez.
The plaque, erected in 1947, says "In loving
memory of JABEZ (Eric P. Nicol). Beloved campus
humorist, who for a full decade gave to his fellow
men the priceless gift of laughter."
The gentleman who has been using Eric Nicol's
name for the past few decades, says the plaque was
a result of a 1947 prank of his late friend and fellow
Ubyssey hack Les Bewley (who went on to be a
provincial judge and a Vancouver Sun columnist).
"He was a very whimsical fellow. He just got
this notion that one day he was going to raise a
plaque to me. Why, I don't know. All I know is that
he stood at the bottom of the stairs in the old administration building, jangling a can full of change
and collecting about a hundred dollars," said Nicol.
Bewley took the cash down to Birks and had
the plaque made. "He declared that he was going to
have an unveiling. By this time everybody, including me, really didn't know what he was up to and
no one was happy about it, but he was persistent."
"He got (then UBC professor) G.G. Sedgewick
to come over and actually unveil the plaque. It was
a very small gathering, around lunchtime and he
was fed up with the whole thing too and figured it
was some kind of lark. All he could do was tear the
cloth off the plaque, mutter a few obscenities and
stride out back to his classes," said Nicol.
"I think that what Les had in mind was to
create the idea that Fd already died," said Nicol.
"That was the general implication ofthe
plaque, that I'd long since passed from this world. I
think he was trying to make more space for himself
in The Ubyssey." Cutthroat Ubyssey staffers. The
tradition continues ...
Rick Hiebert
December 1,1989
THE UBYSSEY/17 That holiday
thin;
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[To A50PCa6OR6ERAT .-he;
BRING IN THIS At> AND TRY"
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:POCIK1DBOR6ERS ATRETe. PRICE
• ANP6ET ASGCONDOP EQUAL VAIDG
FOREST A...^K^X $JO£
Expiry
Date
Dec. 31/89
CREATIVE   FOOD « BEVERA-E CO.
I«6 Yew at* l!_ BH.9 frtwvt kits Beach 733-.
B?_A    __   "6 Yew at* l>i BU.9 front kits I
CMhTAN
ifEQ (booDANyoAy untm.
by Marnie Toulson
THE VANCOUVER CHILDREN'S CHOIR celebrates
Christmas with a performance of Benjamin
Britten's, A CEREMONY
OF CAROLS, at Christ
Church Cathedral, Saturday, Dec 16th at 8 p.m.
Tickets $8/Adult, $6/
Children, Students and
Seniors. Ticketmaster or
280-4440.
THE CANTATA SINGERS present A CEREMONY OF CAROLS Friday, Dec 8th and
Saturday, Dec 9th at 8
p.m. Point Grey Auditorium, 37th and East
Boulevard. Ticketmaster or 280-3311. Mince
tarts and other goodies
after the show.
Surrey Arts Centre Theatre presents a children's
series of Holiday Happenings. FARQUHAR & FELICITY - The Magic Show
Wednesday, Dec 27th, 2
p.m. COAD CANADA
PUPPETS - Thursday, Dec
28th, 2 p.m. Singer and
Storyteller PAUL HANN
Friday, Dec 29th, 2 p.m.
Single Tickets $5, Series
Tickets (3 shows) $12.
RSVP 596-1515.
Granville Market's WATERFRONT THEATRE
presents Charles Dickens'
A CHRISTMAS CAROL.
Performances from Nov
25-Dec 30, Thursday
through Saturday at 8
p.m. with Saturday Matinees at 2 p.m. RSVP 737-
7827.
McMASTER UNIVERSITY
FACULTY OF BUSINESS
McMASTER's Master of Business Administration program
provides a balance between broad coverage in all business
areas and in-depth specialization in the subject areas of the
student's choice.
We offer THREE options to students interested in pursuing MBA
studies:
CO-OP
Provides the opportunity to enhance academic
learning with "hands-on" experience in a variety
of business environments. Three paid work terms
alternate with four study terms over a 28 month
period.
Develops career knowledge and practical business
skills, which assists the student in obtaining more
meaningful employment after graduation.
FULL-TIME ls norma"y completed in 2 academic years but
may require shorter period for students qualifying
for credits.
PART-TIME   The McMaster M.B.A. may also be obtained
i iiyil   through part-time study, taking up to two courses
per term, three terms per year.
For more information and application materials, call or write:
DIRECTOR OF GRADUATE ADMISSIONS
Faculty of Business, McMaster University
Kenneth Taylor Hall 118
1280 Main Street West
Hamilton, Ontario L8S 4M4
(416)525-9140, Ext. 4433
M.B.A. AT McMASTER
ANNUAL FESTIVAL
LIGHT SHOW held at
Vandusen Botanical Gardens, 5251 Oak, from
Tuesday, Dec 5th to Friday, Jan 5th   5 p.m. to
9:30 pjn. $225/Adult,
$4_50/Family, $l__5/Seniors.
Six acres of gardens transformed into a sparkling
wonderland.
VANCOUVER JEWISH
COMMUNITY CENTRE
December 16 EVENING OF
SONG & WINE - sip wine,
eat sufganyot, and sing
Chanukah Hebrew songs
with Miriam Benny, $225
M, $450 NM, also CHANUKAH CELEBRATION
Sunday, December 17,
12:00 - 3:00 p.m. - latkes
doughnuts, candlelighting,
dancing Charlotte Diamond in concert 1-2
p.m. $4.
Accompany a CAROL
SHIP through False Creek
and along the North and
West Vancouver shoreline.
Dec 8th-Dec 17th at 6
pjn. Tickets $30 available
at the Vancouver Maritime Museum, 1905 Ogden
Avenue, 737-2211. Enjoy a
festive evening of
carolling and traditional
Yuletide revelry.
THE DEGREES MAY BE DIFFERENT,
BUT THERE'S ONE COMMON DENOMINATOR... SUCCESS
Glenn Ayrton
B.Sc. Geophysics
UBC 1989
Iqbal Mann
B. Comm. (Marketing)
UBC 1989
Penelope Stainton
B.Ed.
UBC 1989
The success stories above all work for the Georgia Agency of
London Life.
They've been through an extensive five-week training program.
They're building a solid clientele of people who want top-notch personalized financial security. And they're all enjoying a challenging and rewarding career with one ofthe Financial Post's 100 Best Companies to work for
in Canada... London Life.
The Georgia Agency is looking for more success stories, en-
treprenurial students who want a big challenge and the income to match.
Call now to find out more.
Mark Neale/Clu
Sales Manager
900-1050 W. Pender St.
Vancouver, B.C.
683-7271
London
Life
OllC Of The Financial Post
100 BEST
COMPANIES TO WORK FOR IN CANADA
18/THE UBYSSEY
December 1,1989 ENTERTAINMENT
♦♦♦
a seasons calendar
CAROL SHIP WATCH by
the shore at the Maritime
Museum on Saturday, Dec
9th at 6:30 p.m. and
Sunday, Dec 10th at 7:30
p.m. Both nights you will
enjoy a four-piece brass
band, carols, holiday
tunes, hot-chocolate and
spiced cider.
CHRISTMAS IN WALES
read by Terrance Kelly
and David Adams, Christmas carols sung by the
TRIO CON BRIO, THE
WHITE ROCK CHOIR, and
SANTA CLAUS will be
visiting the First United
Church, 15385 Semiahmoo
Avenue White Rock, on
Dec 16 at 3 pjn. and 7
p.m.   $5/Adult, $3/Child
RSVP 536-1343.
The NUTCRACKER will
be showing at the Queen
Elizabeth Theatre from
Tuesday, Dec 12th - Sunday, Dec 17th. Evening
shows at 8 p.m., weekend
matinees at 2 p.m. Adult
tickets
start at $15.50, $2 less for
students and seniors.
Ticketmaster.
The VANCOUVER
CHRISTMAS BUREAU
needs donations and volunteers in organizing its
many functions, from toy
drives to food hampers to
Christmas dinners for the
homeless, as well as
assisting 16 other Christmas Bureaus in the Lower
Mainland and six beyond.
To get: involved, call 253-
7191.
The Orpheum presents
CHRISTMAS WITH THE
BACH CHOIR Sunday, Dec
10th at 2:30p.m. Adult
tickets start at $1250, $3
less for students. Ticket-
master. An afternoon of
song and celebration.
THE ROBSON SQUARE
ICE RINK opens Friday,
Dec 1st at 8:30 pjn. with
a time change on Saturday, Dec 2 from 10 ajn.
to 11 pjn. Free of charge.
Bring your own skates
and hot-chocolate.
HR MACMILLAN PLANETARIUM is featuring an
all new production of an
old favorite, CHRISTMAS
FANTASY - a visually
powerful program that
will delight all ages.
Friday, Dec 1st at 7
pjn., Saturday and
Sunday at 1:00,
2:30, 4-30 and 7
p.m, weekdays
2:30 p.m., 7 p.m.
Tickets $11/Fam-
ily, $4/Adult,
$3/Child.
RSVP 736-
3656.
WEST POINT GREY COMMUNITY CENTRE presents A CHRISTMAS-
SAURUS SHOW FOR
KIDS, December 3 at 3:00,
$2 each or $5 family, and
the PENGUIN STRING
QUARTET performing a
Christmas classical music
concert Friday Dec. 8 at 8
pjn., $6. Info for both
shows, 224-1910.
fi
it <
f^/n& dfaj/2W J&& ^%tozd vet
readon>
ty
ty
ty
!_<_
ty
:____»
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-____^
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SALON
European Coiffure
Esthetique
GALERIE
Ethnic Jewellry
Objets d'art
4460 West 10th Avenue
Na^jj|pal Hurvitz
Griilar Soloist
Anything from
Medfewl Tunes to
Beatles Tunes
7pm, Friday,
December 1/69
the Fireside Lounge
Graduate Student
Centre
MOUNT PLEASANT
WORK CENTRE
SPONSORED BY
ARBUTUS VOCATIONAL
REHABILITATION SOCIETY
SOHO PINE l-UUMTURE
-bookcase      *«*A0
END TABLE $45,00
WRITING DESK    $75.00
MAGAZINE SACK $17.00
ALSO SPECIAL
CHRISTMAS ITEMS
Mon. - Fri.
8:30 - 4:00
Saturday, Nov. 25 & Dec. 2
10:00 - 5:00
46 EAST 6th AVENUE
VANCOUVER B.C.
876-5551
THE STAFF OF THE DELLY
WOULD LIKE TO WISH EVERYONE
A HAPPY HOLIDAY.
CHILDREN'S CHRISTMAS PARTY
Saturday, Dec. 10
5-4^*^
12:00 to 2:30 pm
Graduate Student Centre Ballroom
FEATURING SANTA &
OTHER ENTERTAINMENT
Lunch will be served
$5.00 per Family
Register before December 1,1989
Call 228-3203
December 1,1989
THE UBYSSEY/19 3\<» _^*»     ^ *■'*      **    '     «.,**!
f;^.."*" »^^'
University of
Manitoba
MBA I Dead Serious:
information sessions I   a smooth killer all the way
AN MBA ?     YOUR NEXT CAREER MOVE?
The MBA at Manitoba provides an exciting career challenge for
graduates of any discipline. You are invited to join over 220 highly
qualified MBA students at one of Canada's strongest management faculties.
Entrance scholarships valued at up to $8,000 are available to top
candidates. Interested?
A TTEND AN INFORMA TION SESSION A T UBC:
Host:     Dennis Anderson, Ph.D.
Associate Dean and
M.B.A. Program Director
Faculty of Management
University of Manitoba
Dare:    Tuesday, December 5,1989
Place:   Rm. 210, Henry Angus Biding.
Times:     11:00 -12 noon
or
1:30 - 2:30 p.m.
For more information or to obtain an application form contact:
M.B.A. Program Manager
Faculty of Management    «^i
University
Winnepeg,
of   Manitoba
MB R3T2N2
! CRYSTALS !
for
CHRISTMAS
The Geological Museum has a huge selection of natural crystals
for sale for the person who has almost everything! Priced from
$5.00 to over $2,000, each specimen has a descriptive label.
Proceeds support new acquisitions.
The Collector Shop Is located In the Geological Museum near the
dinosaur's nose, and will be open at the following times:
Wednesday
Wednesday
Sunday
Wednesday
Dec. 6
Dec. 13
Dec. 17
Dec. 20
1:30 - 4:30
1:30 - 4:30
12:00 - 4:30
1:30 - 9:30
VISA & MASTERCARD accepted
More info: 228-5586
DRINKING TOO MUCH?
SKILLS is a self-management program for
people who are beginning to have alcohol-
related problems.
"Confidential - no charge"
736-9844
City of Vancouver • Health Dept.
OU THE BOULEVARD
Complete Hair Service, Suntanning,
Electrolysis and Waxing
CHRISTMAS PERM AND CUT WITH GREG OR GORD
Women     Reg. $70.00   sp $60.00
Men Reg. $60.00   sp $50.00
Long Hair Extra
(valid with presentation of Ad)
5784 University Boulevard    Phone 224-1922 or 224-9116
by Ameen Merchant
Imagine an old, weather-
beaten, pine-shrouded cabin.
Add some midnight croaking and
hissing in the background.
Introduce a family that could
well be a psychiatrist's dream.
Top it with a fair sprinkling of
blood and close-to-occult theory—and what have you got? The
nth Wes Craven churn-out,
right? Wrong!
THEATRE
Dead Serious
Arts Club Seymour
Until December 16
The similarities between
your favourite Craven (Nightmare on Elm Street) film and
Dead Serious, Doug Greenall's
first play, begin and end there.
Agreed, with a title like that
for a play the first reaction is
undeniably d_j_. vu. But Greenall
is also the first to realize this
limitation and quite predictably
works to triumph over it.
The thriller-genre works on
a formula, the most important
ingredient being an infinite
measure ofthe macabre. Minutes
after the lights have dimmed and
the indispensable 'mystery-blue'
spot has focussed, a chilling
screams shatters the silence and
a bleeding man slumps to the
floor. Yes, your hands have
moved from the sides ofthe seat
and are now clasped knuckle-
white in your lap. Greenall
makes sure they stay that way
right till the end.
To give away a thriller
would be the most unkindest cut
of all. It would suffice to say,
though, that at the centre of the
plot are Seymour (Tim Battle)
and his sister Tracey (Tamsin
Kelsey), who revel in playing
practical jokes on each other.
They get so entangled in their
own games that the results are
absolutely devastating. Their
mother Eve (Meredith Bain
Woodward) and her almost
occult-oriented lover Ted (Barry
Greene) add another eerie
dimension to the murderous
goings-on.
Tim Battle's Seymour is a
perfect combination of boyish-
charm and devilish cunning, and
his performance is riveting.
Tamsin Kelsey as Tracey
looks adequately haunting but
somehow her words sound more
programmed than they actually
should.
The lighting design by
Marsha Sibthorpe almost
becomes a character in the play.
The only thing that lets the
play down, when compared with
the breath-taking build-up, is the
rather complacent ending. But
that overlooked, Dead Serious,
directed with the right amount of
the uncanny by Mario Crudo, is a
smooth killer all the way.
Mountains in the ether
by Effie Pow
Shadows of trees and a
tangle of bushes cross
my path as late afternoon grows
into the last evening of November. I glance up for a moment
and see the Asian Centre's grey
roof between black evergreen
trunks.
Inside, the walls of the auditorium are covered with Chinese
landscape paintings by Ng Yuet
Lau.
ART
Ng Yuet Lau
Asian Centre
The landscapes are dominated by mountains painted in
black, grey and sometimes blue
ink. Blue mountains are dotted
by the occasional house or specks
of white cranes. Ethereal and
dreamy, they float in pools of fog.
I stare at one ofthe paintings
while I nibble on a piece of
cheddar. Many have names like
"The Misty Summer Hills" or
"The high air, the lofty cloud and
clear blue sky."
At the food table I bump into
Rene Goldman, an Asian Studies
professor who remarks, "Too bad
there's a delicious spread of food,
but vile drinks." The invitation
says cocktail reception, but there
is only pop, instant coffee, and
tea bags. There are mountains of
powdered donuts, potato chips
and plates of cheese, vegetables,
cold cuts and sushi. Somehow
food seems out of place.
Goldman points to one
painting with a house perched on
a mountain ledge and says, "It
would be nice to sit in that house
and contemplate the magnifi
cence outside." I wonder if
whoever is in that house
is eating.
In a small adjoining
room are a mixture of
animal and floral paintings. It is a departure
from the sombre, distant
mountains. Many ofthe
animals featured are
colourful and whimsical
and I am reminded of a
madcap tea party of
animals. Dragon flies,
cicadas and goldfish in
one corner, crabs, quails,
and a comic owl in
another. One regal cockcrow, a snow-white
peacock, and a pair of
quails preen on the walls
with roses, peonies and
spring blossoms.
In shiny red and gold
traditional dress, the artist chats
with her guests. Ng Yuet Lau
speaks to me in Cantonese
briefly about her work. She
prefers landscapes to animal and
floral studies and points out her
favourite painting, "Midnight
temple bell woke the ship below."
Circulating the room a final
time, I leave the majestic and
lofty mountains behind and step
out into the crisp night.
Artist Ng Yuet Lau with her
preferred work, the landscape.
V ^__^______^____________rflE____r_____^_____fi___-^-____ ^ •*»•_.' __^_h __. _P _»
SAFEWAY
We brim it all to^ctlicr*
«!_
OK/
Gift C&dilsicak
The most popular gift of all, and the
choice of most people for gift
giving, has been our Gift
Certificates. They are convenientto
give with their attractive envelope
and very much appreciated. Gift
certificates are available in the
dollar amounts that you require.
They're just like cash, and are a
perfect gift for friends, relatives or
even the paper person. A great way
to say "Thanks".
Our Gift Certificates are available at any
Safeway or Woodward's World of Food or call;
(604) 687-4833 or 643-6969.
20/THE UBYSSEY
December 1,1989 his month's rock
iK;'
FRIDAY DECEMBER 1
Hi). Liksiu:
The/RE from T.O. and they're playing with the Swagmen
at the Arts CLub.
M's Tiir UKle:
See 'em at the Railway.
SATURDAY DECEMBER 2
Ckristais Gift beief it cucert
at the Centennial Theatre. 'Tis the season!
Sn Weis & Nyetz
at the WISE Hall.
Tie Nervns Fellas al The Last Wild Sib
Rockabilly your face off at 86 Street.
SUNDAY DECEMBER3
IliFnFaciiaThelBaO's
A must see at the Railway
ll-Kmv
Gift rapping at the Town Pump.
MONDAY DECEMBER 4
Be there or be doomed to geekdom. At the Town Pump, of
course with Black Earth
Piaaet af Spiiefs aai <e># *6!.
Indigo Girls at the Ridge.
WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 6
My
Relive highschool with aging has-beens.
THURSDAY DECEMBER 7
ADayiiPariiGraiiCeitralStatim,
Catherine Wheel Experience it at 86 Street.
SiBid Bitcbers Live
on CiTR at 11pm.
FRIDAY DECEMBER 8
at the Arts Club Seymour. Almost a guaranteed good time
The Grin Factory (Formerly After AN)
At the Town Pump
SUNDAY DECEMBER 10
They're from Toronto and they're playing Club Soda.
MONDAY DECEMBER 11
Picasso Set
It's a cassette release party!!! At the Railway!!!!!
at Christmas The Beatles of Surrey spread Xmas cheer for
ALLAGESattheCultch.
WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 13
Tippy-A-(ioGo's Folk Hour
At tne Railway.
Brain Damage
Subject yourself to it at the Town Pump.
THURSDAY DECEMBER 14
James 'Blood' Ulmer
It's diatonic funk from NYC at the Pump.
HoElowheads an. Hoka Live
on CiTR at 11pm.
FRIDAY DECEMBER 15
Til Go.
More good loud times at the Arts Club.
Hard Raclc Miaers
At the Railway
oATURDAY DECEMBER 16
At the Pump
Ranch Romance At the WISE Hall 1882 Adanac St.
SUNDAY DECEMBER 17
Tal_-ictioi=Zero
Cheer and dap for posterity, a live video recording at Club
Soda.
Bins for lias Ita of.aids
at the Commodore.
TUESDAY & WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 19
la Hater, Mick Rush aid Steve Jaaes
Yeah, THAT Steve Jones (from the Sex Pistols) at 86 St.
WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 20
Daybreak Parade ad SHE
At the Railway. SHE returns and we are glad.
THURSDAY DECEMBER 21
GreeiHuse.
A Christmas Party at The Pump
CiTR's Tape-A-Mania with THE METHOD 11pm CiTR FM
FRIDAY & SATURDAY DECEMBER 22-23
Na Faa's Ckristaias Shaw
This time it's at the Arts Club
Jazzmanian Devils At the Railway
SUNDAY DECEMBER 24
Ni Fob Facing tbe 1980's
Let them help you cope at the Railway.
MONDAY DECEMBER 25
Merry Christmas
Stay home.
Stay
TUESDAYS WEDNESDAY DECEMBER _o-27
The Dots
These women can rockabilly with the best of 'em. At the
Railway.
THURSDAY DECEMBER 28
No Hear stuff from their great new album at the Town
Pump.
Hear 'em live on CiTR at 11pm.
FRIDAY & SATURDAY DECEMBER 29-30:
64 Fannycars
They're fun and they're from Victoria. Enjoy a night at the
Arts Club.
SUNDAY DECEMBER 31
The Death of 19B9 with Curious George
At the Arts Club.
The Last Corvairs
at the Paramount.
The Demons
At the Yale.
The few, the proud, the Ma...
(ahem)
The few, the proud, The Ubyssey!
(actually, we'd prefer The many, the proud, The UbysseyT Drop by SUB 241K today.)
TEACHING AT THE GEOLOGICAL CENTRE
OF BRITISH COLUMBIA
SCHOOL DISTRICT NO. 56 (NECHAKO)
LOCATED IN VANDERHOOF, B.C.
WILL CONDUCT ON CAMPUS INTERVIEWS ON
FEBRUARY 24.25.26 AND 27
FOR 1990-1991 EMPLOYMENT.
WE WILL REQUIRE ELEMENTARY. SECONDARY AND
SPECIAL EDUCATION TEACHERS.
MORE INFORMATION AND INTERVIEW ARRANGEMENTS
AVAILABLE THROUGH
CANADA EMPLOYMENT ON CAMPUS.
CLOSEST BYCYCLE SHOP TO UBC
<mAa itaA!o/vSaA* ivoa/e/ &Ac 6>
UMtA evetyono a ve*y
*JfU**y   KMUttmat/   JL
'ON THE    .•   ;
, SPOT FENDER  -
1NSTALATION ;■■*
>' . Mon - Fri *■   .;'
COMPLETE -
LIGHTING
SYSTEMS    ;
on wit* *34.99
BICYCLE STORES
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK
4387 West 10th Avenue
222-8200
We Also Have A Fully Stocked Service Department
Worfo'ff97vrJ.ear»Jt?a*
SCHOOL DISTRICT NO. 57 (PRINCE GEORGE)
Invites you to
join in
Working for Learning
In
British Columbia's Northern Capital
Prince George School District is one of British Columbia's largest and most progressive school districts. We
are anticipating vacancies for teachers at all levels for
the 1990-91 school year.
Representatives of the district will be interviewing on
campus in March.
Interested applicants are asked to obtain an application form available at the Canada Employment Centre
in Brock Hall. Deadline for application is January
10th, 1990.
SCHOOL DISTRICT 57 (Prince George)
1894 Ninth Avenue, Prince George, B.C. V2M 1L7
Tel: 584-1511 Fm: 564-4439
December 1,1989
THE UBYSSEY/21 CHRISTMAS
buying an alarm clock: journey to another world
by Steve Conrad
While shopping for an alarm
clock the other day, I was struck
by the most revolting
apparition.Red wrinkly and
squirming, a stuffed Santa hid
behind a corner and wagged his
bell at unsuspecting escalator
riders.
The
plastic bell
was /^^*\
/-tv    mute but
the (X>\^
wJSJsb   piped-in
carols         f&
7_____.     anc*
the          7f
I^V^P^. lewd
leer   of  the Cr?
^-r-J) p°-y-
ester   effigy    1
jjMTWf tolled
clear enough,    j
Whole*
^^_»    wreaths
trees       and
garlands
of tinsel, angels aplenty, fake
lanterns and lots of Christmasy
clothes in smart green and red
motif. Christmas was coming.
Nobody else on the lift
seemed to find anything funny
about the decor. Laden bags and
overcoats hung humourlessly.
There were presents to be
bought.
I had thought it a bit much
that there was fake snow splattered allover the store windows
in Mexico—it seemed so much
phonier there. Of course, it
doesn't really snow much inside
the Bay either.
Not being much of a shopper
and not at all a TV watcher, I
hadn't been giving much thought
to the gradual coming on of the
festive season.
I found a saleslady nestled
between a wall of flash dining
room type clocks and a glass
counter of jewelery, evidently
very happy to be there.
—I'd like to buy a quartz alarm
clock, I said.
—How much would you like to
spend? She was happy as a
spider reeling in a bug.
—Its not a luxury item.
—It could be, she said as her be-
jeweled hands gestured across
the case of frippery in perfect
time with her spreading grin.
—No, I meant I didn't want it to
be a luxury item.
Had I spoken vaguely or was
she a madwoman? Probably just
a little caught up in the Christmas spirit.
She rolled up the red carpet
like a snake's tongue.
—The inexpensive ones are over
there in the corner. It's self
serve. With that she waved me
on like an earwig.
I managed to find the cheapo
section and get an alarm pretty
easily, but I still couldn't help
wondering about this Xmas stuff.
Had the snakelady thought I
was buying the clock as a gift?
Some kind of a way to express
my love. How mean hearted she
must have thought me.
I was hooked—I had to see
more. I went looking for the
heart of Christmas.
Christmas Street seemed as
good a place as any to begin my
quest. At 8000 square feet it is
the largest such display in town,
the manager later told me. It
took two months to set up this
temple of garishness. A forest of
phony trees populated by bronze
camels and mechanical manikins. Fragile things everywhere.
I stopped to chat up an older
couple perusing the plastic pines.
—Lovely, aren't they?
—Yes, but expensive.
They exchanged a knowing
glance and sighed, shouldering
the burden of holiday festivities.
Some salesman had probably
convinced them that an artificial
tree was the best long term use
of their Christmas dollar.
I saw Santa's still vacant
throne; I saw boxes full of mini-
Santas. I wondered about the logistics of having a lot of fidgety
impatient children around so
much breakable stuff. I saw
angels averting their eyes
heavenward in yuletide rapture.
I saw mechanized carolers
forever writhing in mid syllable.
I saw enough.
Next I visited Toyland.
Would they be in a snit be-
cause Christmas
Street
snagged
Santa?
Was there
, a scandal
brewing
there?
My
mudrak-
ing
dreams
were
dashed
when the sales
staff told me
Santa wasn't
welcome around -^p_>k^
those parts. ^ *)kjd
—The kids just got ' £$9
too excited with {•$*§?
Santa and toys in the _/Q|;3f
same place, explained ^^Ja\
a helpful sales- ^2*jJ
woman. ~    w.
But still there
must be a problem
with pesky kids, I
probed, ever digging for a story.
—No, there aren't that many
kids in here really. But a lot of
the adults get out of hand
playing with the toys.
—What are some of their
favourites?
She showed me to the
battery operated plastic jumbo
jet. It made a loud noise and it
pretended to take off, she said.
Strange for parents to like a
battery toy. Then again, the parents' interest won't last any
longer than the batteries.
The jettling was plenty loud
alright. It is beyond me how anyone could be foolish enough to
give their children a shrill reproduction of jet turbines at a time
of year when hangovers are likely
to happen. Is Christmas masochism?
Boisterous though it was,
the jumbo wouldn't move.
—The batteries must be going
dead, she explained apologetically. Those men were really
playing with it a lot yesterday.
It didn't work anyway, so we
moved on to other favourites—
Barbie intimate lingery.rocket
rings,a toilet with a toungue
slopping over the bowl,GI Joe
junk....
Toy Mercedes and Porches
for budding executives. Go-cart
sized ones with shiny paint and
real gas motors.
A paying customer came to
take away my guide, so I was left
to admire the $4800 playthings.
Worth more than my car.
Pretty conspicuous consumption
for a tot.
One of the fellas stocking the
shelves seemed to agree with me
in thinking that any kid driving
one of those snazzy things down
the sidewalk would have to be
prepared to fight for his wheels.
For something as good as a mini-
car, lots of kids are willing to
play dirty.
According to the other
shelver, some rich guy had been
talking about buying the Mercedes for his son. The kid was
supposed to have a train running
through the house and everything.
I could have believed that
story if I had tried, but I didn't
want to imagine in a spoiled brat
causing a traffic jam indoors, so I
went home to « try out my
alarm     ^JrJ^   clock.
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CAR6Y mi
A UDC Christian Residence
We
invite you
Lo join
us.
Place:  V.S.T., Vancouver School of Theology
Chapel of the L'piphany
Date: This Sunday, Dec. 3: 10:15 p.m. 11:15 p.ra.
Dbinc Canned Cqod&
Organized by ihe Atudenl Deadents of Carey Hall.
TIME TO PARTY!
at
Every Wednesday is Student Night
free admission to the club with student ID
Rock with DAWN PATROL
932 GRANVILLE 684-7699 doors open 7pm, get here early
Make money and have fun. If you want to raise
money for your club, charity or team, the Roxy
has a great idea.
Cail Blaine at 684-7699
22/THE UBYSSEY
December 1,1989 cz
*^7^;?^^
i_*»l**5»«w«l!|S*«a^^
£T
Comfort & Joy
No one sells as many
Levis as we do.
At $39." they're a perfect
fit for the student budget.
Available at:
WW
Kits
2674 W 4th.
mark'/Work
UJcQfhou/c
Downtown
560 W. Georgia
Student slags
scumbag thieves
Picture this:  Main  Library,
1988, PQ level.
A poor student is desperate. She is
wildly rewriting a major History
paper, already due, because her
original copy got stolen with a
briefcase, when her car was broken into not long ago. But soon she
discovers that the worst was yet to
come: Her purse, which was securely placed under the chair,
suddenly disappears from the
scene, without a trace, without a
sound, without saying good-bye...
The purse is found later on, between book stacks, but without the
wallet, without the discreet and
cute carry-case of tampax.
Picture this: Sedgewick, 1989,
silent area.
The same student-now a poorer
student- goes to the water fountain to alleviate an excruciating
headache with Tylenol. She returns to her seat, two-minutes
later, only to find that her half-
gone 35cent eraser has abandoned
its owner, involuntarily, eraser-
napped forever.
The owner is mad.
But soon her anger turns into an
UTTERS
alarmingly loud sarcasm and
much practiced humor. YEAP!
She's humored alright: HA-HA-
HA!!!
This is a good one.
Picture this: Buch. B., 1989, Ladies' Washroom.
The above mentioned student's
lunch bag. which was left on the
sink while she goes to do her necessity, disappears with the speed of
lightning.
She's scared.
She's finally verified the fact that
someone is definitely out there,
determined to make her life miserable. She has no lunch that day.
The poor victim is me, I confess. And I also confess that I'm
sick and tired of these incidents.
I'm sick and tired of being the
consistent target of there incidents. Fm so sick; I fear to step out
ofthe house or step into libraries.
I'm so tired; I don't want to keep
my part-time job anymore, solely
to support these thieves, to replace
car-windows they break, to pay for
library books they steal from my
car.
YOU. YEAH, YOU, THE
THIEVES;
I hold you responsible for the creation of a, once adorable, library-
phobic-monster. If you happened
But then Omar Diaz jumped up, looking disconcertedly like Michael Douglas, and
screamed, "It's been the decade of greed. I know, I'm a salesman. Let's wipe out greed!
Let's put a stake through the heart of Donald Trump before the decade deconstructs!"
Alexandra Johnson snorted in disgust, Ted Aussem, Dan Andrews, Saski Ages,
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Panasonic,
just slightly ahead of our time
to be reading this right now, let me
give you a piece of my mind:
I DON'T LIKE YOU VERY
MUCH. IN FACT, I'M BEGINNING TO DISLIKE YOU, ALL OF
YOU, A LOT.
Ifyou really have to, go practice your profession somewhere
else, instead of ripping off our
pathetic students.
And ifyou happened to be an
even poorer student than I, then
ask me personally for some lunch
money, for a new briefcase with
research papers, or even for a new
35 cent eraser. I would be deeply
moved. I'd even consider your request. I may share with you my
peanut-butter and pickle sandwich on dark rye.
SHAME, SHAME, SHAME
on you!!!
If your mother knew whatyou
have become, she'd be experiencing severe monetary deficit by
now, caused by over-consumption
of Kleenex.
Take a hike my boy, may well
be my gal! Get a job, get a wife,
take a bath, pick your nose. Do
anything but just, just don't
bother me anymore...
The sick and the Tired,
Se-Ra Alma Choo
Arts 4.
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December 1,1989
THE UBYSSEY/23 *,*/.
0^NIOH/iitrE^$
Ralliers blast judge
Generation Hip
By Dean Mag fieri
Monday afternoon there was
a rally in front ofthe Court House.
Anger over Judge Van DerHoop's
suspension of an 18 month sentence for a man guilty of sexually
abusing, raping, a three year old
child resulted in the unexpected:
activism. The provocation was
considerable; Van DerHoop suspended the sentence because the
accused had been drinking, was
tired and the child was sexually
aggressive. Yes, this happened.
Yes, this year. Yes, right here at
home. I had the same reaction. So,
Monday afternoon, I braved the
rain and showed up downtown
expecting to find a scattering of
umbrellas and some tired
sloganeers, but hoping for more.
Hopes are not always in vain.
About three hundred people
turned out for the rally, which was
organised by WAV AW (Women
Against Violence Against
Women). Though this was a
women's forum, I emphasise that
three hundred people were
three—a veritable cross section,
including women, men, children,
visible minorities, invisible minorities, and even a pair of proto-
economists. The protest itself
consisted of songs and stories. The
songs were of hope, the stories
mostly of incest, and they, too,
were spoken in hope. Perhaps half
a dozen incest survivors spoke to
us and the media, so that their
Perspective
truths could show us a wider
truth, that sexually abused children are victims. One survivor
declared, "I was not guilty, I am
not guilty, and I will never be
guilty!". Her certainty was tremendously empowering.
Power is the issue here. Men
have in our society the power to
transfer guilt from the guilty to
the innocent. And surely a three
year old child is innocent. Do not
fool yourself into thinking Judge
Van DerHoop an aberration; his
decision was extreme, but nonetheless marking a boundary of a
more moderate structure of domi
nation. Isitworthwhiletorallyfor
Van DerHoop's removal when we
know that mind-sets such as his
are rife, even dominant, in the
seats of power in Canada? What's
the point?
Perhaps the point ofthe rally
was as much to shout, "Off the
Bench!" as to show the three
hundred gathered that women
need not be guilty, that a victim of
incest need not keep-it-quiet-and-
shut-up-you-asked-for-it-anyway,
that women can create their own
life-world, that the power to oppose domination can be drawn
from within. This is empowerment. And this is important.
I am male. I cannot take part
in the consciousness-raising of
women if it is to be effective. lean,
however, stand witness. Monday's demonstration showed the
strength and numbers of those
screaming for justice. I hope Justice is served. I hope this child
grows to know that her innocence
cannot be turned to guilt by anyone.
Krishna
" -ScXS-l T^iP£-, »Jfyfc/_. jJej-ev c^ r^_-r s»T*e&r.
GRAPHIC: THE CHARLATAN
Woman given hard
time
I am writing regarding the
mistreatment I received on November 16 at Hillel House. The
Progressive Zionists and Hillel
House presented a panel discussion entitled "War or Uprising"
concerning the Palestinian Inti-
fida. Having read their invitation
in the November 15 edition of the
Ubyssey, a friend and I attended
what we thought would be an informative discussion. However, I
did not anticipate that I would be
verbally assaulted by two narrow
minded men (these men were not
on the panel).
Near the end of the discussion, one of the verbal aggressors
made a racist remark concerning
Arabs, which he thought would
solve the Arab-Israeli conflict.
This man pronounced that ALL
Arabs are like children and need to
grow up; therefore it is necessary
to impose changes upon them. To
my horror, this fanatic suggested
that they (Arabs) be placed in
camps! Camps? Excuse me mister,
but what did you have in mind,
rehabilitation camps perhaps?
This notion of camps doesn't sound
too much like Hitler now, does it?
I told this man that I was
appalled at his ideas. He immediately started pointing his finger at
me, which nudged my shoulder a
couple of times, and actually denied that he said Arabs should be
put in camps. Yet, he went on to
say that when someone is sick,
that person has to take an aspirin
and thus, the same analogy can be
applied to the Arabs' "sickness".
By this time, I was surrounded by
a few people, including the second
verbal aggressor. But the second
man did not support what his
comrade said about camps. Oh no,
Mr. V.A. the second was quite
frank about the way he felt towards other Arabs and me, for he
bluntly said, "You Arabs can all go
to hell" and gave me a cordial
shove towards the door as I was
leaving Hillel House.
To those two men: I don't
know your names, but I will never
forget the hatred that was implicit
on your faces as you irrationally
spat out your anger towards a selected group of human beings.
Furthermore, I can assure you
two, that no one would ever treat
you in such an abominable manner, as you treated me, ifyou were
to come to any ofthe M.S.A. functions.
I would like to express my
24/THE UBYSSEY
sincerest gratitude to the gentleman from Hillel House who said he
"hope[s] Insha'Allah [if God is
willing] that there will be salaam
[peace] between us", and to the
young Jewish woman who consoled me in the rain and offered
her apologies for the immature
behaviour of those two men.
H.M. Hassan
Arts 2
Come on guys, this
is getting silly
My use of the word "trollop"
in a recent letter has upset Mark
Keister and sent him off on what
some have already called "The
Great UBC Slut Hunt." In his
November 28th letter of response,
Mr. Keister defines the word "trollop" as "a pretentious term for
•slut'."
WRONG! *ding* But thank
you for playing.
Per The Pocket Oxford Dictionary of Current English, a"trol-
lop" is a "disreputable girl or
woman"; flip...flip...flip... "disreputable" is defined as "discreditable, of bad repute, not respectable
in character or appearance" which
fits the satirical context of my
phrase, "treacherous trollop",
without ever even vaguely alluding to the sexual morals of the
upstanding AUS Councillor involved.
To those past English Instructors of Mark's who, having read his
erroneous epistle, are trying to
decide if they should admit failure
and kill themselves in a most disgusting manner: Buck up, maybe
someone will buy him a dictionary
for Christmas.
Bill Allman
Law 2
Former History Rep, AUS
and Proponent of Functionally
Literate Arts Students
Ecologists reply
I would like to comment on
some ofthe information presented
as fact by Dave Christie.
The claim that Tonya
Zadoronzny wrote the letter to the
editor as a representative of West-
em Canada Wilderness Committee is not true.
The claim that clearcut logged
forest land produces water that is
as clean as water that is produced
by an ancient never-logged forest,
is also not true. The fact is, ancient
forests produce extremely high
quality drinking water. According
to Jerry Franklin who is considered a leading expert on the ancient forest ecology of the Pacific
Northwest, ancient forests ensure
low levels of soil erosion and leaching. Increased erosion and leaching which can increase the turbidity or muddying up of drinking
water is associated with clearcut
logging. Drinking water with a
higher turbidity rating is harder
to keep free of harmful bacteria.
It is really stretching the
truth to say that sixty-two percent
of the ancient forests of Vancouver's drinking watersheds are in a
reserve protected from logging, as
Mr. Christie claims. The fact is a
great deal ofthe sixty-two percent
ofthe watersheds that is in the no-
logging reserve couldn't be logged
anyway! This area is mostly high
elevation, steep, rocky land covered in scrub, rock and ice. The
remaining 38 percent ofthe drinking watersheds that is open to
logging contains virtually all of
the lush valley bottom and lower
slope ancient forests, the forests
most critical to providing a safe
clean supply of drinking water to
the people ofthe GVRD.
Somehow Mr. Christie has
become confused and come to the
conclusion that the watersheds
are being clearcut on a 500 year
rotation basis, that is to say that
trees that grow up after logging
will be allowed to grow for 500
years being logged again. The fact
is the GVRD logging plans show
that the rotation for the drinking
watersheds is between 72 and 79
years depending on the area. This
is the same rate of logging that
occurs in industrial forests outside
of the drinking watersheds.
The assertion that clearcut
logging decreases the forest fire
danger goes against experience
and common sense. The fact is that
when the ancient forest is roaded
and reduced to logging slash,
small trees and brush, the forest
fire danger increases.
We at the Western Canada
Wilderness Committee feel that
clearcut logging the ancient forests of our drinking watersheds
should cease immeadiately until a
full public hearing can bring out
all the facts. We feel that the highest and best use of the ancient
forest in the drinking watersheds
is to provide our clean drinking
water now and into the future. We
believe that clearcut logging is
putting our water supply at severe
risk.
Yours truly,
Joe Foy, Director
Reader discovers
The Ubyssey is
shortstaffed
As a representative of UBC
Intramural Sports program I'm
shocked at the lack of coverage and
disregard for the Intramural
sports program on this campus.
The Ubyssey has provided little or
no coverage to the vast array of
recreation activities that the program offers to the students, faculty and staff of this university.
For example, the week of
November 13th to the 18th saw
the wind up to the Handley Cup
Soccer League. The Ubyssey obviously felt that such an event was
not newsworthy. When one
hundred university teams play
soccer in BC Place Stadium for a
week it seems no one really cares
who won or even if such an event
occurred. I don't think for a minute
that this is true however, the
Ubyssey printed nothing in regards to this event which affected
over one thousand students.
Another gleaming example of
the lack of informative coverage of
events is the Day ofthe Longboat.
What is Day of the Longboat you
ask? Do you really know? It's the
most unique Intramural Sporting
event in Canada, if not the world,
where ten person teams paddle in
voyager canoes from the Jericho
sailing centre to Jericho beach and
back. So what's the big deal? Well,
over one hundred teams participated in the event this year yet the
Ubyssey barely made mention of
it. I'm scared to see what happens
when Storm the Wall and the Tri-
athalon approach, I hope the
Ubyssey notices the noise at least.
The UBC Intramural Sports
program has the privilege of providing and organizing recreational pursuits for the University
community. We do not take this
challenge lightly. Each year we
strive to run our programs more
efficiently than the year past. Our
major difficulty is dealing with the
enormous growth of the program.
Volleyball saw 199 teams register
for first term, the largest ever. We
sincerely feel that the students of
this university value our program
and that the people who participate gain a sense of involvement
and pride in this institution; not to
mention have fun. We need the
support from as many groups on
campus as possible, including the
Ubyssey. Over 5000 students participate on a weekly basis in Intra
mural Sports organized activities.
I feel it would be more responsible
of Ubyssey to recognize these participants by providing more information about the program.
Dean Desrosiers
Student Director, Intramural
Sports
Students hurt
grass
Does one have to be a practiced horticulturalist in order to
appreciate the recent landscape
remodeling between the new parkade and the SUB? For those who
have not yet noticed, the concrete
parking lot of previous years has
been replaced with a grassy
promenade, complete with trees
and benches. In September, as the
sod was being laid, I asked myself
how long this new environment
would last. But to my dismay, as
soon as the protective fencing was
taken down, students began
trudgi ng ignorantly over the fresh
turf. Soon, their habitual paths
were recreated and the new sod
had been destroyed. I'm not asking you to become overjoyed at the
sight of new turf but some of us
would like to appreciate it before it
is ruined by your ignorance.
Martha McMahon
3rd Year Arts
Attention ...
"Concerned
Citizen" and
the UBC
distributor
of Campus
Report,
please
contact us,
we want to
speak to
you.
The Ubyssey
December 1,1989 OPINION
All must be the same
Okay, so we, the generation of
the post-modern world have about
20 years before all the things we've
flushed down the toilet come out of
our faucets. Why not kill some
time in our last few years and try
to do something about it? Before
action takes place, however, you
must first realize that everything
you (and your ancestors) have
done up until now has been evil
and destructive. Once you have
accomplished this, you are ready
to reshape your life and the lives of
millions of strangers. Try strangers first, it's easier than friends.
Now here's what you do: you
decide that a revolution must take
place and that all environmentally
dangerous products must be destroyed. For starters, your car
must go. It, combined with every
other vehicle on the road, is responsible for 80% of Vancouver's
smog as well as melting polar ice
caps, declining world food production, and Third World hunger.
(One might think that the current
environmental crisis was created
by Roman Catholics) Ride your
bike and feel like a martyr.
Besides acknowledging the
obvious problems that screw up
the environment (say, pouring
toxic sludge down your toilet) try
to be creative in deciding what
harms the ecosphere. Don't use
paper towels in the washrooms at
SUB. Avoid all plastic at the
supermarket and bring your own
grocery bags. Let people know you
want an alternative. Ifyou have to
eat at a take-out restaurant, then
bring your own plate. People think
your crazy and again, you have the
satisfaction of feeling superior to
the polluting plebes. Don't use
bleach, non-recycled photocopying
paper, disposable containers or
diapers, chemical cleansers, or
CFC Styrofoam. In other words,
stop doing everything that your
doing now. Accept no compromises - even though compromises
Perspective
will inevitably find you. For instance, wiping your butt is pretty
much a compromise because you
use toilet paper which is produced
with chlorine and that chlorine is
summarily returned to the ocean
when you flush.
Okay, so what if you follow
this program and make your life as
pure as recycled paper? Will this
save the world? NO. So you must
take the next step of changing
everyone else's life (while making
yourself the bane of their existence). Ask coffee drinking strangers on the street if they know about
CFC's and the destruction of the
environment. Be obnoxious. Society eventually transforms
through individual pressure to
conform. Therefore, making garbage 'uncool' is the first step to
eliminating it. People who have
blue smoke coming out of their car
can be spat on, kicked or beaten.
However, the best approach is to
quietly let them know that they
are destroying the environment,
thus allowing them to be consumed by their own guilt.
Secondly, you have to shake
people up and ask tough ques
tions. Ask, for instance, why the
Ubyssey isn't printed on recycled
paper or why it isn't recycled after
it is used.
Finally, in order to save our
diseased planet, we simply have to
stop buying things because it uses
too much energy. Unless, of
course, you think it is fair that 25
million Canadians consume the
same amount as 1 billion of the
world's poor. Ask yourself if all the
things you buy are worth the environmental damage they produce.
Is a copy ofthe Province worth the
destruction of B.C.'s forests?
(note: it takes more than 45,000
trees to produce one edition ofthe
Sunday New York Times). Is the
convenience of driving your car to
school worth the destruction ofthe
atmosphere? Remember that everything we buy, from organic
apples to auto parts, are produced
with the help of non-renewable
fossil fuels.
For the world to survive we
need a paradigm shift of consciousness. And because the world
economy is based on market demand, the shift must begin with
the consumer. That means individuals like you and me.
But just remember that when
it's all said and done, you're just
one person in a big world and you
probably can't make a difference
after all. Probably.
P.S. If you live in an apartment and need a place to bring
your compost, I have a giant ditch
in my backyard. Contact me
through the Ubyssey.
Peter Scott
History 3
Got time for a sermon?
In attempting to defend his
stance, Newcombe points out that
Jesus never condemned homosexuality. But Newcombe's assertion that an absence of condemnation implies acceptance is, of
course, nonsense, and quite a few
people wrote in to The Ubyssey to
point that out. Yes, there were
quite a few letters. And these Bible
thumpers pointed their stubby
fingers at Leviticus 18:22 and
proclaimed that the Bible does
indeed condemn homosexuality.
Of course, they are right.
And since the Bible is, after
all, the Word of God, all faithful
Christians are bound by its dictates, and should accept its black
and white statements as the final
word on moral issues. Is this your
view? Fine. Lefs see where it
leads. Turn the pages of your Bible
the Exodus 12:44: "Every man's
slave that is bought for money..."
Oops! Wrong verse. Turn to Exodus 21:20-21: "When a man strikes
his slave, male or female, with a
rod and the slave dies under his
hand, he shall be punished. But if
the slave survives a day or two, he
shall not be punished; for the slave
is his money." Nowadays, most
people would call this manslaughter, or murder.
Are the dictates of the Bible
inerrant? Or is there a certain
expediency in them, a partial
yielding to popular will? What did
Jesus say to the Pharisees about
the law of divorcement in Deuteronomy 24:1? "For the hardness of
your heart [Moses] wrote you this
precept" (Mark 10:5). So there is
an earthly influence working in
the Bible as well as divine inspiration. Do you think that the ancient
Israelites were any less homophobic than people are today?
The factis, Exodus 21:20-21 is
as valid as Leviticus 18:22. Now
you either apply the dictates ofthe
Bible uniformly or you admit that
laws like Exodus 20:20-21 and
Leviticus 18:22 are not carved in
stone. Could it be that you are
willing to enforce a strict interpre-
Perspective
tation of some parts of the Bible
but not others? That would make
you a hypocrite, wouldn't it?
I've got an idea. To avoid the
sin of hypocrisy, why not take out
a full page ad in The Vancouver
Sun and agitate for the legalization of slavery? After all, the Bible
says ifs okay. And while you're at
it, promote polygamy. No. Despite
the fact that the guiding light is
green, polygamy and slavery are
no longer in vogue. Thank the Lord
for that.
It is still open season on gays,
however. And leading the crucifixion party are a bunch of ignorant,
narrow-minded bigots who have
transformed themselves into the
ministers of Christ (II Corinthians
11:13). Are you going to tell me
that if the Bible had specifically
proclaimed tolerance for homosexuality, that these letter writing
Bible thumpers would now be
championing gay rights? What a
load of bull! There are plenty of
agnostics and atheists who detest
homosexuality as much as these
saved fag bashers. Let's face it.
People don't dislike homosexuality because the Bible condemns it,
they use the Bible to justify their
bigotry.
These people see homosexuality as a grave sin. And the city of
Sodom is upheld by the some as
the exemplar of wickedness, and
its destruction as God's final word
on homosexuality. Did Jesus see it
that way? Jesus had a little saying, which He used often, something about more tolerance being
shown for Sodom in the day of
judgment than for ... whom? Not
bigots, surely.
One writer of The Ubyssey
said that "if homosexuals are
members of a Christian church,
then if s a sad commentary on that
church."The Bible says that God is
no respecter of persons. Apparently, God had to teach that lesson
to Peter several times (Acts 10:14-
15; Galatians 2:11). This point has
to be made loud and clear, because
there is one important fact that is
consistently lost in the hoopla:
sexual orientation is not willfully
chosen. Are you listening? Ifs not
like being addicted to alcohol. No
one chooses this "alternate lifestyle", no one is socialized into it.
Orientation is fixed along a spectrum and itis not reversible. Some
people are straight, some are bisexual, some are gay, and they
stay that way. One orientation is
as immutable as another. Nature
produces a lot of variety, and not
all of it is welcome.
Knowing this, when I read I
Corinthians 6:9-11, I see God's
final answer. God puts His Holy
Spirit upon repentant homosexuals and, yes, even upon repentant
bigots. It's there in the Bible, for
all to see. How about that! Homosexuals in God's church! I'm not
saying that they didn't opt for celibacy. And promiscuity was definitely out. But ifyou think that the
sexual orientation of these people
was somehow changed, you're a
mile offshore. I hear a fire crackling, bigots.
Name Withheld
Arts 4
Endgame: the last
moment - death
by Chung Wong
Society hid itself from this
reality. In the city streets, life
continues as usual with humans
trying to achieve for themselves,
relating to other humans through
their 'odd' ways. But when your
lifetime partner in crime is about
to die, a deep cut gnaws at your
stomach—
Through the emotional haze
I try to recall.
Energetic
people.   Sharp
dress. Glamourous     lights—
singer—dinner...club   service.
We are guests.
Across the long table, she
smiles at me.
It seems so distant from the
scratches of poverty, yet before
me is a reminder—an individual
of hope who drove me out. It feels
good to see her again. The images
begin to wash out. Ifs midnight
suddenly (why?). I have a reunion with another longtime friend.
I walk to her. Excuse myself. No
words audible through music. I
gesture. She nods, smiles. I leave
her with the others. I will see her
again. No words that night. No
words...no words. No glass shoe.
The image quickly
dissipates...leaving me alone.
The call came a couple days
later. "She fell," a voice said,
"She's in the hospital...a stroke."
I suddenly found myself in a
desolate room, frozen in the still
air.
Her face was bashed in, deformed. She had no left cheek.
Her body had shrunk to half of its
size, paralyzed on the right and
going blind. The smell of vomit
lingered. There was my partner
lying on the bed, motionless.
I stood fragile.
For days, I created new ways
of providing stimulus to improve
her health; it drained my soul. It
would feel like 0 x whatever life I
could give. But the feeling, I realized later, was only a result of my
expectation which adhered to
who she was, and deviated from
who she could be. Acomplex form
of prejudice.
In this room, she was no
longer able to shield her humanity, package herself in some attitude or mode for social acceptance. She had no walls. Upholding any barriers around me,
shielding myself in any way,
wouldhave denied her existence.
I asked myself if it was the ego or
pride that held up my own.
Whatever it was, broke down
blind. To be equal'—I always
was with her.
"Nurse...Nurse...Nurse...Help
me...help me...help me..."—No
answer. This is the replacement
we have set aside for them for our
independence. Imagine yourself
as one of them. The patient next to
you cries and shouts at night. In
the daytime, you see a white ceiling. You search for a hope to live
on. The doctor, the social worker,
tells you hope will heal you. You
search, but you are in an empty
room. This is where your society
has lead you.
Isolated from her familiar
world, in a room with zero stimulus, her face, webbed in her
corpse, had the look of suffering,
like an opera singer whose voice
could not be heard. And was not
Freestyle
looked at. I could only grip her
hand repeatedly to replace the
hugs she could not receive.
When her speech was recovered, I nervously asked her, after a dialogue which included a
how do you feel question with a
what do you expect answer, if
she could smile. In her affirming
response, I recognized the
beauty there still within her,
and realized all the work done
had meaning, had worth.
She
had  not  yet
been
tered
shat-
inside.
But in our society we are not
trained well to see beyond the
surface which has become a
blinding plane.
Her roommates faced a different fate—but all the same in
the end, I guess. They are left in
loneliness segregated from the
rest of society; at nights some
scream. Until eventually, they
die. They are without company,
without opportunity to interact,
and kept in their hidden place.
"The milk is sour," she said to
me. "Don't worry,"responded the
nurse," she always says that. I
tasted the sour milk, and was
reminded of a passage from Orwell's 1984:
Winston: How can I help seeing
what is in front of my eyes? Two
and two are four.
O'Brien: Sometimes, Winston.
Sometimes they are five. Sometimes they are three. Sometimes
they are all of them at once. You
must try harder. It is not easy to
become sane...You are rotting
away...you are falling to pieces.
What are you? A bag of
filth...look into that mirror. Do
you see that thing facing you?
That is the last man. Ifyou are
human, that is humanity.
After two years, she is paralyzed to the neck. She eats
through tubes. She urinates
through tubes. She cannot
speak. She can barely hear; she
can barely see. She may only
think and breathe. Her body is
now down to a third of its original si ze. To reach her so she may
feel me, I can only touch her forehead. But I realize the last thing
I want her to remember is love—
not loneliness.
Author's Note: Samuel Beckett's play title Endgame refers to
a chess game at a stage where all
the remaining moves are inevitable. He focused on the morbid
relationship society held with
the decrepit, the aged, as they
became discarded garbage cans.
We place individuals in these
states in rooms of alienation; we
initiate inevitable moves. Moves
which are catalyzed by our society's lack of true integration and
the non-existent family structure
which has lead to ultimate psychological alienation. They are
placed there left to die, in a place
we ha ve left for them for the sake
of our progress. But how much
longer as a society can we torture
the psychic walls of these individuals? Everyone will eventually go through this ultimate
state. Few come to terms with it
until it happens—it's too late
then.
December 1,1989
THE UBYSSEY/25 Ho, ho, hmm
Well here itis again the annual Ubyssey Christmas gift
list where all the "goods", the famous of campus, the
province, and the universe are faithfully delivered.
To President Strangway — A new set of Mechano for
his endless building projects.
To Kurt Preinsperg — A glow in the dark jalepeno
flavoured, body condom.
To Vanessa Geary — Tongue floss.
To Sara Mair — A sign making kit.
To Mike Lee — Skip the month of December.
To Andrew Hicks — A paper-sized muzzle.
To Karl Kottmeier — A year's subscription to
The Ubyssey.
To Charles Redden — A suit that is not grey.
To Gerry Wan — A new bowl.
To Tim Bird — A new building project.
To Peter Brown — A date with Angela Davies.
To Linda McGillvary — The book: One-hundred
Uses For a Dead Cat.
To Peter Hamilton — A score keeper.
To Iolande Weisz — A set of voodoo dolls of the
men of her choice.
To The Inter-Fraternity Council — Individuality.
To Bruce Strachan — His new university in his
own backyard.
To Bill Van Der Zalm — A by-election he can win.
Next life buddy.
To Mike Harcourt — The keys to Room 156,
West Annex, Parliament Buildings, Victoria, B.C.
To The Ubyssey — Autonomy.
To all our readers — Peace, Love, and all that shit.
theUbyssey
November 28,1989
The Ubyssey is published Tuesdays and Fridays
throughout the academic year bythe Alma MaterSociety
of the University of British Columbia. Editorial opinions
are those ofthe staff and not necessarily those ofthe
university administration, or of the sponsor. The Ubyssey is published with the proud support of the Alumni
Association. The Ubyssey is a member of Canadian
University Press. The editorial office is Rm. 241k ofthe
Student Union Building. Editorial Department, phone
228-2301; advertising, 228-3977;   FAX# 228-6093
The 80s couldn't end a moment too soon. In The Ubyssey office
factions formed. They drank Coke Classic out ofthe fridge and
argued. 'Before the decade ends we have to anarchate the world!'
shouted Keith Leung, who was one the keener members ofthe
anarchist gang. Szilard Fricska, John Gray, Lorry Jones, and
Sarah Atkinson looked on, aghast They'd never seen an anarchist
before. But Tonya Z. was simply pissed off. "No wayl" she
bellowed, spitted small globs of saliva all over Douglas Harris,
Evan Jones, Wendy Shin, Laurie Newell, Rajiv Reebye, Sheena
Scott and Christian Raupach. "The 80s was the decade of
Chernobyle, acid rain, global warming and fitness clubs. Gross!
What we have to do before the dawn sets on the decade is save
the environment."
Laura Busheikin, Paul Dayson, Warren Whyte, Mike
Laanela and Corinne Bjorge cast dirty looks at Tonya and
surrounded Keith, shouting, "Whose fucking decade? Our fucking
decade!!!* But then Corinne drank a lot of vodka and anarchated
Mark, risking herpes and even AIDS in pursuit of sensual
gratification.
Nadene Rehnby smiled slightly and pulled the cord on the
blind repeatedly up and down, up and down. Quietly, nicely, she
started her own faction. It was a mysterious faction. No one knew
what they were about. Hai Le, Aileen McBride, Jolie Ellison,
Heather McCartney and Roger Kanno joined her. Jeff Huberman
pushed Rob Reid and Barb Wilson towards the mystery group.
But then Omar Diaz jumped up, looking disconcertedly like
Michael Douglas, and screamed, "It's been the decade of greed. I
know, I'm a salesman. Let's wipe out greed! Let's put a stake
through the heart of Donald Trump before the decade deconstructs!"
Alexandra Johnson snorted in disgust, Ted Aussem, Dan
Andrews, Saski Ages, Charles Lugosi, Maeghan Kenny, Mark
Howes, Bryson Young, Christian Ice and Andrea Lupini drank
mineral water and dreamed of buying BWM's. "You guys will be
left in the 80s," shouted Dennis Hakle, David Dungate, Denise
Dyson, Catie Pickles, Debbie Hewlett, Peter Berlin, Robin
conttnuMf on aaem 12
EDITORS "
Joo Altwasoor • Franka Cordua-von Spocht
Nadono Rohnby • Chung Won* • Kolth Uung
WAS THE NIGHT* BefoBE ChKASTmaS
WHEN Hi*- ClAUS WAS CxNEM A CbSE of ReN-iTf.
Letters
The Ubyssey welcomes letters on any Issue. Letters which are not typed will not be accepted. Letters over 200 words
may be edited for brevity. Please be concise. Content which is libelous, slanderous, racist, sexist, homophobic or
otherwise unlft for publication will not be published. Please bring letters, with identification, to our editorial office,
Room 241K, SUB. Letters must Include name, faculty or department, year of study and signature
A clarification
The letter "Law students blast mental masturbating newsletter" in the
Nov. 28 edition of The Ubyssey has caused some concern.
The letter, signed by a group of thirteen law students,
blasted what they saw as the puerile content of the Law
Students Association newsletter, The Informer, in its October 31 issue.
After the letter was received in early November, I
waited to hear from Mike Watt, the LSA President, who also
received a copy ofthe letter and would be able to comment
on the letter's veracity. Hearing nothing, I and my colleagues assumed the letter was all right.
The   letter,   nevertheless,   was   addressed   to
"fl_______________"and Steve Geddes, Editors, The Informer."
After the letter was printed, Steve Geddes visited us,
protesting that he had had "nothing to do" with The Informer for "the past two months."
Therefore, although the mistake is understandable, we
regret that Steve Geddes appears to be the victim of a
misunderstanding regarding his role with that particular
issue of The Informer, with which he has been associated
with in the past. We regret that this occurred.
Seeking the truth, we spoke to some of the original
letter writers and LSA President Mike Watt. Here's what
we found...
Several ofthe letter writers told us that in their protest
against The Informer, they went to the LSA and inquired
who would be in charge ofthe particular issue that they
blasted in The Ubyssey. They were told that "■■ and
Steve" were in charge of the newsletter every second
edition.
The Informer does not run the name of its editorial
staff in the newsletter.
Watt said the LSA has four people in charge of The
Informer, two women and two men. What happens is that
the two women are in charge ofthe publication one week
and "the two HH____B____i and Geddes are in charge of it
the other week."
"That particular issue was written and published by
Ian himself and Steve, so far as I know, had nothing to do
with it," said Watt.
Watt added that if someone "hypothetically" asked
him who was in charge of The Informer every second week,
he'd say "MBand Steve." For your information, Watt also
thinks I^^^^^^Band Steve Geddes "do a good job" with
The Informer.
The Ubyssey Letters Co-ordinator
Kurt addresses
masses
Darlene Marzari and
Tom Perry, our Point Grey
MLAs, have asked the UBC
Board of Governors for permission to speak against the
Hampton Place real estate
development at the December 18th Board meeting.
As elected student representative on the Board of
Governors, I feel obliged to
make my own perception of
this development crystal-
clear. We have wealthy
people on the Board of Governors using precious university land to build luxury
housing for other wealthy
people. Their excuse? A government that caters predominantly to the wealthy
has starved the university
for funds.
There is a close analogy
between UBC's decision to
build California-style luxury mansions and apartment towers on campus and
UBC's decision to increase
tuition fees and other education costs at a relentless
pace. In both cases, the push
for academic excellence is
used to justify financial policies that benefit the wealthy
at the expense of the needs
of the not-so-wealthy. In
both cases we can see how
the privileged, entrenched
in power, can turn everything to their own advantage.
I am a member of the
UBC Board of Governors.
Just as I wish to dissociate
myself from any further tuition increase, so I wish to
dissociate myself from the
university's Hampton Place
development. This real estate deal is environmentally
destructive, socially shortsighted and morally irresponsible.
Kurt Preinsperg
AMS Board of Governors Representative
Students are welcome to
attend the Dec.l8th Board
of Governors meeting, at
2pm upstairs in the Faculty
Club. Please phone 2127 for
reservations.
An apology
With respect to the letter to the Editor concerning
the Informer which appeared in the 28 November
1989 issue ofthe Ubyssey:
Steve Geddes was identified to me as one ofthe Editors   of   the   Informer.
However.in fact Mr. Geddes
has not not been associated
with the Informer since its
first edition of the 1989-90
term , and was not in any
way associated with the
edition of the Informer giving rise to the concerns expressed in the letter published Tuesday. He is angry
with being misidentified as
one of the Editors of the
Informer.
I wish to emphasize
that Mr. Geddes had absolutely nothing to do with the
offending edition of the
Informer.and to apologize to
Mr. Geddes for any
distress.embarrassment or
harm caused to him in being
wrongfully associated with
the Informer.
N.K. Banks
Law Graduate Studies
Stop UBC
tuition hike
On December 18, President Strangway will be proposing a tuition increase to
the UBC Board of Governors for consideration.
On January 30, the
Board will make the decision whether to accept the
proposed increase or not.
Once the proposal hits
the table on December 18,
the difficulty in having a
realistic effect on the final
decision is considerably increased. The best chances of
having an effect lie between
now and December 18—before it is announced.
My guess—and it's only
a guess—is that the increase will come in at
around five to seven percent. In light of last year's
ten percent increase; the
financial impact that the
Goods and Services Tax
(GST) will have on all students; and the fact that
there will be a zero increase
in the financial assistance
money that UBC is to receive next year, an increasing number of students will
be feeling the crunch.
I know that exams and
term papers can knock the
energy out of all of us at this
time of year; but please take
the time to write a letter to
President Strangway, Old
Administration Building,
UBC, Vancouver B.C. V6T
2B3, suggesting or demanding an increase that you
consider justifiable.
Tim Bird
Student Representative
UBC Board of
Governors
26/THE UBYSSEY
December 1; 1989 ■Mill!
Save the elephants
...Unless led away, an orphan will linger by its fallen
mother until it collapses from
starvation or thirst. And a
mature elephant coming across
a carcass, even one streaked
withvulture droppings, will try
to rouse it to life with a gentle
prod of its hind leg-
Ted Gup, writer for Time
by Hai V. Le
Such social, gentle animals.
"Nature's great masterpiece,"
as the poet John Donne called
them, today's African elephants
are approaching extinction. Their
ability to survive in the face of
human destructiveness has never
been more jeopardized, and their
right to live in peace more deprived.
In the 1930s, Africa had an
estimated 10 million elephants.
Now that number has slumped to
about 600 000. In 1976, 100 000
elephants roamed the national
parks of Central African Republic.
Today, there are barely 9000.
Annually 70 000 adult elephants are slaughtered. But that
is not the end ofthe story. 10 000
youngsters must die because they
cannot fend for themselves.
These figures underlie the
magnitude ofthe dramatic reality
facing the elephants and some
even harsher truths : the destructiveness of human beings
and their inability to dwell in
harmony with other living
things.
Numbers  do  not   mean
much. They can never convey the
total dimension of the carnage,
cruelty and suffering that are too
real for those involved.
Whether it is a slaughter to
control the herds' population as in
Zimbabwe, Botswana, and South
Africa. Ivory that can net a huge
profit as in Tanzania, and Kenya.
Or to satisfy the sportsmen's urge
to kill.
It's a slaughter done out of
indifference.
Of greed.
Of profit.
And of people who continue to
purchase ivory products.
Unlike people fleeing their
homeland because of persecution
and economic hardship, the elephants cannot leave their habitat
to look for a brighter future elsewhere.
Plant eating and the largest
creatures on land, they live in
small herds of closely-knit family
units, led by one or two older cows,
and use their tusks for foraging.
To some African farmers, the
elephants may be a nuisance, big
pests that trample their way
through farms, leaving behind
trails of ruined crops. But they are
also a valuable, integral part ofthe
environment.
They open up water holes in
the ground with their feet and
uproot trees in dense woodland,
renewing growth in the process.
Other animals and plants benefit
from that.
Last month, members of the
Convention on International
Trade in Endangered Species
(CITES) voted to designate the
African elephants as endangered.
A complete ban on the trade of
tusks automatically ensued.
But CITES also permits the
slaughter of well-managed elephant populations. This is because
some Southern African countries
such as Botswana, Zimbabwe, and South Africa
with small poaching problems are afraid of losing export revenues derived from
sales of ivory.
For decades, indifference and
profit motives have been the driving force behind the butchery of
the elephants. The ivory industry
is one with revenues estimated at
$500 million to 1 billion worldwide.
From factories in Hong Kong
and Japan, millions of bangles,
necklaces, and rings are produced,
sold on the local market, and exported to the West.
Lately, unilateral bans of
ivory imports by the major consumers of ivory such as Japan and
the United States have driven
prices down, and reduced the
demand for ivory products. These
efforts are certainly laudable but
they have only a limited impact.
Any ban will not stop the
deadly traffic. As long as there is
profit to be made, there will be
corrupted officials and greedy
traders who turn blind eyes to the
butchery.
Some affected countries have
adopted tough measures. President Daniel arap Moi of Kenya, for
instance, has mobilized the army
and declared war on the poachers,
ordering them to be shot on sight.
A rather drastic measure.
But even that will not save
Kenya's elephants from extinction.
The risk of arrest, death, and
imprisonment is small, compared
to the monetary reward. Any long-
lasting solutions to poaching —
without a magic wand — will have
to address the root causes: consumer demand and public ignorance.
A change in buying habits on
the part of the public may well be
the elephantslast hope.
UBYSSEY SURVEY
We want to hear what our readers think of their newspaper.
Please fill this out and return it to us in Room 241K, SUB.
1.
How often do you read The Ubyssey?
7.
What would you like to see more of in the news section?
□
a. every issue
□
a. campus events
Q
b. every other issue
□
b. local
□
c. occasionally
□
c. regional
□
d. rarely
□
d. national
□
e. never
□
e. international
□
f. other
2.
Which sections ofthe paper do you usually read (Circle the let
ters)? In what order do you read them? Rank them by order in
8.
What would you like to see more of in the entertainment section?
which you read them.
□
a. mainstream film/theatre/music reviews
□
a. news
□
b. alternative film/theatre/music reviews
□
b. entertainment
Q
c. video reviews
□
c. sports
□
d. book reviews
□
d. editorial
□
e. other
□
e. letters
Q
f. all of the above
9.
What would you like to see more of in the sports section?
□
a. varsity
3.
Which is the weakest aspect of the paper?
□
b. intramurals
□
a. news
□
c. interviews with UBC athletes
□
b. entertainment
□
d  nth sr
□
c. sports
□
d. editorial
10.
Overall, has the quality ofthe paper improved, stayed the same,
□
e. photography
or worsened this term compared to last year?
□
f. design
□
a. improved
□
g. no weak aspect
□
b. worsened
Q
c. stayed the same
4.
Which is the strongest aspect?
□
a. news
Some questions about you...
□
b. entertainment
□
c. sports
11.
Are you a student?
□
d. editorial
Q
a. yes
□
e. photography
□
b. no
□
f. design
□
g. no strong aspect
12.
If you are a student, are you part-time or full-time?
□
a. part-time
5.
Do you think there is, or is not, enough coverage of issues in the
news from students' perspective?
□
b. full-time
□
a. yes
13.
What is your faculty?
□
b. no
6.
What are some ofthe news stories that particularly made an
14.
What are some of your special interests?
impact on you this term?
15.
Ifyou could have one thing for Christmas, what would it be?
**8t°9*mfolP*
THE UBYSSEY/27 )* I JuJas the night 6efore Christmas
*    ■      and all through the, house not a creature was stirring
m
not even a mouse.,.
Macintosh® SE
• 3.5" SuperDrive
• 20 MB hard drive
• 1 MB RAM
ImageWriter® II
• 9 pin dot matrix
• colour capability
Accessories  afi^
■*..«*  > ".-a-ar---**
*   ***_,»tf-*rjr   f
■ M.yft|LJn*^---»4.----*w^.
eXtdlded keyboard (not exactly as aiustrated)
printer cable
HyperCard
system software Complete (with mouse)
$3899
reg. $4456
BOOKSTORE
6200 University Blvd. • 228-4748
special offer available only to full-time UBC students, faculty, staff, and departments
• offer expires on December 29,1989
• prices do not include provincial sales tax
• departments: ask about federal sales tax rebate
19 15     19 9 0
_l:f_3«
___■_!
m
ANNIVERSARY

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