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The Ubyssey Oct 29, 2009

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Array QUITE FOND OF OURSELVES SINCE I918
Halloween coverage
ty costumes (and how to do them
:), horror films you need to see.
Orgy of the Dead and more.
Pages 5-7
^THEUBYSSEYca
YOUR STUDENT NEWSPAPER IS PUBLISHED EVERY MONDAY AND THURSDAY • VOLUME 91, NUMBER XVI • ROOM 24, STUDENT UNION BUILDING • FEEDBACK@UBYSSEY.CA
B s£
n
Flailing TransLink can't meet
financial requirements of
partnership
with UBC
SAMANTHA JUNG
news@ubyssey.ca
TransLink announced Tuesday afternoon
that they are not in a financial position
to fund their share of the underground
bus loop project proposed for the middle
of campus, putting the project on hiatus
again—this time, perhaps for good.
"With the funding restraints we have,
TransLink has informed UBC that we will
not be in a position to fund a share of that
project," said Ken Hardie of TransLink media relations.
The underground bus loop was part of
UBC's plans to create a "university town"
on campus and to replace the "temporary"
bus loop on Wesbrook Mall. It was originally
designed to go under a shopping mall and
block of condos on University Boulevard to
provide accessible transportation.
According to Associate Vice President of
Campus and Community Planning Nancy
Knight, the university was committed to
building the tunnel and outer shell portion
of the underground bus loop, and since
TransLink is a partner in the project, they
were to "fit it out" by providing software and
other components to make the proposed
terminal operable.
However, Knight told The Ubyssey that
the city's Mayors Council decided not to
provide funding for capital projects and
therefore cannot meet their side of the
partnership.
"When the Mayors Council decided not to
provide the $2 75 million a year funding or
the $450 million a year funding for TransLink, a whole bunch of capital projects that
TransLink had committed to would have to
be canceled or postponed indefinitely. And
our bus terminal is just one of those," she
said.
TransLink is facing a financial crisis with
an expected $97 million deficit at the end of
the year. The Vancouver Sun reported that
the company claims it needs $450 million
to expand the system to meet the needs of
Vancouverites, but only asked for $130
million so that they can keep transit moving while they find other ways to run their
system.
"It's really unfortunate that they can't
meet their obligations," Knight said. When
asked whether the project would go ahead
without TransLink, Knight said no.
"I don't know that we could go ahead
with it. It is a partnership project and it does
require investment by TransLink," she said.
Knight added that the university still
wants to improve bus services and will look
at different options.
"We'll have to go back and take a look at
our options for completely [surface level]
facilities," she said. "We still want an improved bus facility, but UBC couldn't do the
"When the Mayors Council
decided not to provide the $275
million a year funding or the
$450 million a year funding for
TransLink, a whole bunch of
capital projects that TransLink
had committed to would have to
be canceled or postponed indefinitely And our bus terminal is
just one of those."
—Nancy Knight
Associate Vice President of Campus
and Community Planning
below grade part of the terminal without
TransLink being our partner there."
In a letter addressed to the UBC community, Knight said that the university will now
"work with TransLink and the campus community to explore viable options that meet
the needs of our students, faculty, staff,
residents and visitors" through a consultation process.
AMS President Blake Frederick said that
the university is short approximately $10
million for the $50 million underground
bus loop project since they did not get funding from TransLink. However, Knight said
that she is not entirely sure about the exact
amount, adding that the only money that
has been invested in the project so far has
been funds regarding design and design
plans, which total about $400,000.
But Frederick said that the university has
been tight-lipped about how much money
has been spent on the project. "The AMS
is still calling on the university to provide
specific information," he said. "This should
be publicly available information, but they
have turned down my request for information so far."
"Students have made it clear since 2003
that a single dollar being spent on the
proposed underground bus loop was too
much," Frederick added. "So I want to make
it clear that any money that's been spent
is any money over and above what should
have been spent."
Despite all of this, Frederick said the AMS
is pleased that the proposed project will not
be going through, since plans were "flawed
from the beginning."
"The focus now will be on ensuring that
the university involves students meaningfully in the impending consultation process
on what the university's future transit plans
will be," he said, vl
FOR MORE COVERAGE ON THE
TRANSLINK ISSUE, SEE PAGE 3
2009-10*29
■news briefs
&
THE UBYSSEY VISITS
the SCIENCE
FICTION CLUB
CHECK IT OUT AT
UBYSSEY.CA.
ELECTRIC CAR CLUB SET FOR A RACE
AROUND THE WORLD
The Vancouver Sun recently reported on
a group of Engineering students who will
soon be in a world-wide race to exhibit
vehicle sustainability, but not before making an appearance at the 2010 Olympic
Games.
The Electric Car Club recently set out
to change an old 1972 Volkswagen Beetle
they bought on Craigslist for $2400 into
an electric-run masterpiece. The club
hopes to showcase the vehicle in a trip
to Whistler and back during the Winter
Games in February, before replacing the
home-made engine with a more powerful
model that will propel them through the
UN-sponsored Zero Emission Race in June
2010. The initial model will be run by a
battery that has a four hour charge time,
but after replacement, the group hopes to
produce an engine that is able to travel 500
kilometres a day for about 80 days for the
competition. Pit stops will include Paris,
Munich, Beijing, Moscow and London.
"We don't want to just drive," Electric
Car Club member Ricky Gu told the Sun.
"We want to promote sustainable energy
all along the way. It's a competition but
it's also a parade, and a way for the whole
world to show what we can do for the
environment."
STUDY: EXERCISE BENEFITS FOR
ADULT TYPE 2 DIABETES
A recent study by a UBC doctor has shown
that vigorous exercise can benefit older
adults with Type 2 diabetes and other
health complications, said an article on
The Canadian Press. Geriatric specialist Dr
Kenneth Madden led a team which measured the benefits of vigorous exercise in
two groups of adults aged 65-83 with controlled Type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure and high blood cholesterol. One group
did not take part in any exercise while the
other group was given rigorous exercise
regimes, working out on stationary bikes
and treadmills for one hour, three times a
week for three months.
In this short time period, a 15-20 per
cent drop in artery stiffness was noticed
among the vigorous exercise group, theoretically indicating that aerobic arteries
increases elasticity of artery walls. Artery
wall stiffness can lead to high blood pressure, heart attack and stroke.
Upon their findings, researchers have
suggested that regular aerobics should
become part of a healthy lifestyle for older
adults. According to the Heart and Stroke
Foundation, Dr Madden recognized the
"knee-jerk reluctance" to vigorous exercise
programs for older adults, but said that
"people always underestimate what older
adults can do." The study will be presented
in Edmonton at the Canadian Cardiovascular Congress in November.
UNIVERSITY DEGREE TO COST
$100,000 IN 18 YEARS
A recent report published by TD Economics has found that the total cost of pursuing
a four-year undergraduate degree will be
upwards of $ 100,000 in 18 years.
The report projected education costs
such as books, tuition and academic fees to
cost $64,363. Living expenses for students
who do not live at home are projected
to be $72,650 and $37,063 for students
living at home. This pushes the total cost of
completing a four-year degree for students
living away from home to be $13 7,013
and $ 101,426 for students living at home.
These figures may cause a "sticker
shock" for parents, but it is important to
recognize that an 18-year projection is
bound to show a large increase if the current tuition fees are tied to the projected
annual inflation rate—depending on the
student's living arrangements.
The report also acknowledges that there
are a number of methods available to help
save for the future, including secure financial plans and obtaining summer jobs, vl
—Kalyeena Makortoff 2/UBYSSEY.CA/EVENTS/2009.10.29
OCTOBER 29, 2009
VOLUME XCI, N°XVI
EDITORIAL
COORDINATING EDITOR
Paul Bucci: coordinating@ubyssey.ca
NEWS EDITOR
Samantha Jung: news@ubyssey.ca
CULTURE EDITORS
Kate Barbaria & Trevor Record:
culture@ubyssey. ca
SPORTS EDITOR
Justin McElroy : sports@ubyssey.ca
IDEAS EDITOR
Trevor Melanson : features@ubyssey.ca
PHOTO EDITOR
GeraldDeo :photos@ubyssey.ca
PRODUCTION MANAGER
Kyrstin Bain :production@ubyssey.ca
COPY EDITOR
Katarina Grgic: copy@ubyssey.ca
MULTIMEDIA EDITOR
Tara Martellaro : 7nulti7nedia@ubyssey.ca
Room 24, Student Union Building
6138 Student Union Boulevard
Vancouver, BCV6T lZl
tel: 604.822.2301
fax: 604.822.9279
web: www.ubyssey.ca
e-mail: feedback @ubyssey. ca
BUSINESS
Room 23, Student Union Building
advertising: 604.822.1654
business office: 604.822.6681
fax: 604.822.1658
e-mail: advertising@ubyssey ca
BUSINESS MANAGER : Fernie Pereira
AD TRAFFIC : Sabrina Marchand
AD DESIGN : Isabel Ferreras
LEGAL
The Ubyssey is the official student newspaper of the
University of British Columbia. It is published every
Monday and Thursday by The Ubyssey Publications
Society. We are an autonomous, democratically run
student organization, and all students are encouraged
to participate.
Editorials are chosen and written by the Ubyssey
staff. They are the expressed opinion of the staff, and
do not necessarily reflect the views of The Ubyssey
Publications Society or the University of British
Columbia. All editorial content appearing in The Ubyssey
is the property of The Ubyssey Publications Society.
Stories, opinions, photographs and artwork contained
herein cannot be reproduced without the expressed,
written permission of The Ubyssey Publications Society
The Ubyssey is a founding member of Canadian
University Press (CUP) and adheres to CUP's guiding
principles.
Letters to the editor must be under 300 words.
Please include your phone number, student number and
signature (not for publication) as well as your year and
faculty with all submissions. ID will be checked when
submissions are dropped off at the editorial office ol
The Ubyssey; otherwise verification will be done by
phone. "Perspectives" are opinion pieces over 300
words but under 750 words and are run according
to space. "Freestyles" are opinion pieces written by
Ubyssey staff members. Priority will be given to letters
and perspectives over freestyles unless the latter is
time sensitive. Opinion pieces will not be run until the
identity of the writer has been verified. The Ubyssey
reserves the right to edit submissions for length and
clarity. All letters must be received by 12 noon the day
before intended publication. Letters received after this
point will be published in the following issue unless
there is an urgent time restriction or other matter
deemed relevant by the Ubyssey staff.
It is agreed by all persons placing display or classified advertising that if the Ubyssey Publications Society
fails to publish an advertisement or if an error in the ad
occurs the liability of the UPS will not be greater than
the price paid for the ad. The UPS shall not be responsible for slight changes or typographical errors that do
not lessen the value or the impact of the ad
CONTRIBUTORS
The night was clear and the moon full. Creatures were
everywhere: creepy Paul Bucci, slimy Samatha Jung,
ghostly Roel Moeurs, slippery Kate Barbaria, tiny Trevor
Record, happy Chibwe Mweene, crazy Krittana Khrnana,
bitter Justin McElroy, barfing Trevor Melanson, dizzy
Gerald Deo, drunken Kathy Yan Li, werewolf Brendan
Albano, kitty-cat Kyrstin Bain, lioness Katarina Grgic, tin
man Mike Bround, kinky Keegan Bursaw, smokin' Kai
Green, teeny Tara Martellaro, rubbery Rebecca Lindell,
fishy Eunice Hill, ant Ashley Whillans, giant Anthony
Goertz, ogre Bryce Waines, viking Dax Sorrenti, zombie
Virginie Menard, pie-eyed Pierce Nettling, nympho
Nessa Aref, nasty Oana Sandhu, slithery Kristen Ford,
bitchy Charlize Gordon, howling Kalyeena Makortoff,
singing Sara Chung, rotten Alvin Ma and miserable Mira
Galperin. They just came to say TRICK or TREAT! HAPPY
HALLOWEEN!
V      Canada Post Sales
Agreement
Number 0040878022
Canadian    printed on^100s%
University     'reeycledpaper
Press \!_\Q
EVENTS
ONLINE   CULTURE • SCI-FI CLUB SUPPLEMENT VIDEO
EXCLUSIVE   IDEAS * STREETERS VIDEO
Go to ubyssey.ca to see our online content.
ONGOING EVENTS
Journal Writing: A Voice of One's
Own • Keeping a journal is a powerful
way to enhance creativity and increase
self-awareness This course, led by
Marlene Schiwy PhD, encourages your
inner voice to speak out. Whether you
are seeking creative inspiration and a
stimulating atmosphere in which to write,
or working on the great Canadan novel,
this course will get your creative juices
flowing Please bring a blank notebook or
journal to class. • Saturdays, Oct D-Nov
14, 9:30am-l2:30pm, Rm TBA, $375, for
more irfo call 604 822 9564.
OK Cobra plays Vancouver • Nov 9
at The Modern and Nov 12 at The Meda
Club, more info at urbnetcom/okcobra.
Ubyssey Production • Come help us
create this baby! Learn about layout and
editing. Expect to be fed. • Every Sunday
and Wednesday starting at 2pm.
The Dance Centre presents Discover
Dance! • Discover Dance! is a series
showcasing dverse BC-based companies, presented by The Dance Centre,
BC's resource centre for dance. The
Discover Dance! noon series continues
with a dynamic performance by Josh
Beamish's MOVE: the company The
company will perform a piece, followed
by a question-and-answer session fa
the audience. • Unti May 27, 12pm,
Scotiabank Dance Centre, 677 Davie St,
tix $IO/$7 students on ttketston'ghtca,
for more info go to thedancecentreca
Monday Night Community Music &
Meal • Like to play fun music? Just
want to listen? Looking for a sense of
community? This is for all members of
the UBC community who want have
a good meal and great conversation.
All meals are home cooked and are
vegetarian-friendly • Every Monday,
6:30pm-8:30pm, Chapel of the
Epiphany (6030 Chancellor Blvd). More
info revmthanwright&mac.com.
The Master Builder, a play by Henrik
Ibsen • Presented by the UBC Department of Theatre and Film. A visitor from
the past re-enters the life of Halvard
Solness, a young woman who returns to
claim the sexual promise made to her
by Solness when she was thirteen. What
she finds on her return is a burned out,
guilt-ridden man at the end of what he
thinks is a wasted career. Can he give
her what she wants? And does she give
him a new life or destroy him utterly?
Ibsen leaves the answers open in this
powerful psychological drama. • Runs
Oct 29-Nov. 7, tix $15-$25, Telus Studb
Theatre, Chan Centre, more info theatre,
ubcca
THURSDAY, OCT. 29
Jazz Ensemble I • Presented by the
UBC School of Music. • I2pm-lpm, free,
Recital Hal, UBC School of Must, 6361
Memorial Road, more info must.ubc.ca
The Great Pancake Race: Batter Up!
• The pancake race is a 4-person team
relay race. Competitors run a course
of 25 metres attired in a United V\fey
apron over their standard attire. Each
team member must run the course and
the team pancake must remain intact. •
12pm-pm, Koerner Lbrary Plaza
Young Women in Business: Personal
Finance Workshop • The Personal
Finance Workshop will be a great opportunity to learn about financing and budgeting, and of course the opportunity to
network in a fun and interactive environment. • 5pm-6:30pm, Buchanan B303,
RSVP at fimnceworkshop.eventbrite.com,
free for members, non-members $5
FRIDAY, OCT. 30
THINK PINK: Women's Basketball vs.
Trinity Western Spartans • This game
is part of UBC Athletics THINK PINK
promotion. All fans are encouraged to
wear pink (or buy Think Pink t-shirts) and
support the fight against breast cancer
Wear Pink and BRING THE NOISE! • 6pm,
War Memorial Gym, tix $10 adult/$5
youth/$2 student
Geology bzzr gardens are back! •
Definitely one of the most secret bzzr
garden locations on campus: just off of
Main Mall Enter the EOS-main buildng
(6339 Stores Rd), walk through the
geology museum and take the stairs
to the basement. • 4pm-8pm, EOSM
basement/courtyard, $2 beverages and
burgers, costume suggested, ID required.
AGUS Halloween BZZR Garden • $2
beverages, ride the bull, wear your costume • MacMSan basement, 7pm-lpm,
no cover, ID required.
UBC Engineering's Halloween Ball •
It's revving up to be even bigger than
ever, so come out and rock out for
Halloween the way it should be done:
cheap, crazy, with great tunes and
even better people. Prizes awarded
for best costumes for girls', guys' and
group! Featuring music from the Ivy
League Brawlers and Better Than
Nothing • 7pm-l2am, The Cheeze
Factory, 2335 Engineering Lane, $1-2
beverages, $2 burgers, no cover, ID
required.
WEDNESDAY, NOV 4
Discorder Magazine presents:
Search Parties, Tyranahorse and
Death From Above 1985/86 • Doors
at 9pm, bands at 10pm, The Astoria,
tix $5
If you have an event you want
listed here, e-mail us at events®
ubyssey.ca. This means you, campus clubs!
CLASSIFIED
Spartacus Youth Club Class Series
Capitalist Anarchy — Kari Marx V\fes
Right: For Workers Revolution!
Class No. 3: The Capitalist State: Reform
vs. Revolution
6:30 pm, October 29th, 2009
UBC SUB Room 42V
CORRECTION
In the editorial titled "Good Luck, Costeloe" in our Oct. 22 issue, Bill McNulty
should have been referenced as an
alumnus who serves as a representative
of the university's convocation. The
Ubyssey regrets this error As well, we
said 70+ senators were faculty members. We would like to clarify that we
counted deans in this number
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EASY
solution, tips and computer
programs at www.sudoku.com
#50
su I do Iku
© Puzzles by Pappocom
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Odds of winning depend on the number of ent'ants. Skill-test ng question applies.
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SUB 24 2009.1 0.29/UBYSSEY.CA/NEWS/3
Features of the
UBC Farm:
Saturday Farm Markets (June-October)
Grows over 200 varieties of fruits and vegetables
Student-directed projects, i.e. honeybee hives and the Cob building
Free-range chicken farm
Field research areas for faculties on campus
News
TransLink faces $97 million deficit
Province abandons TransLink, mayors fill in the blanks
SARAH CHUNG
schung@ubyssey.ca
The Lower Mainland will be facing
higher transit fares and an increase
in fuel taxes after the Metro Vancouver Mayors Council approved a $ 130
million supplementary plan for
TransLink last Friday.
The $ 130 million approval means
an increase in fuel taxes by three
cents a litre, and a ten per cent increase in transit fares. The alternative was for mayors to refuse any
funding increase, which would force
an array of cuts, including a 40 per
cent reduction in bus services.
Burnaby Mayor Derek Corrigan
voted against the motion to approve
funding. "I expect the province is
laughing right now because the mayors have made the decision to hand
over the money to TransLink," he
said. "Mayors didn't have courage to
stand against the province; they took
the easy way out, without the guarantee that it will last."
"It's a decision that takes us nowhere," Corrigan added. "The ten
per cent increase to fare costs is a
significant amount for transit users
"Mayors didn't have
courage to stand
against the province;
they took the easy way
out, without the guarantee that it will last."
—Derek Corrigan
Burnaby Mayor
while we can expect there will be
basically no change to their services,
or expect even less in the future due
to funding cuts."
TransLink's Ten-Year Funding
Stabilization Plan provides no scope
for expansion, and no ability to
finance the operation or construction of new rapid transit extensions,
including the UBC Rapid Line to UBC
and the university's underground
bus loop project. However, students
can be assured that the U-Pass program will not be affected, since it is
part of a contract agreement with the
university.
Ken Hardie of TransLink media
relations said that TransLink is expecting a $97 million deficit by the
end of this year due to a series of
operational costs that were accumulated with the enormous increase of
services between the years 2005 and
2009.
"There was no surprise; we had
expected a deficit," he said. In September, the Vancouver Sun reported
that TransLink's strategy to raise $57
million annually by increasing a tax
on commercial parking spaces has
been eliminated by the proposed
harmonized sales tax (HST), which
will eliminate the parking tax since it
is a sales tax and will be combined
into the HST on July 1. This, plus the
increase in fuel prices and changes
to tie the company's salary increases
to the rate of inflation, contributed
to a significant loss for TransLink
which quickened the process.
"We are maxed out," said Hardie.
"What we need is a new source of
revenue that is sustainable."
Corrigan said that now the province needs to step in.
Local taxpayers will
already face huge
utility cost increases
in the years ahead to
pay for sewage treatment plant upgrades
and garbage disposal
solutions.
"The province is constantly seeking ways to minimize their contributions but expecting large outcomes,"
he said. For example, the province
said that the Canada Line will be a
top priority but only covered 17 per
cent of the total costs, leaving the
remaining 83 per cent for TransLink
to pick up.
He added that the province has
suggested placing more emphasis
on properly taxes, something the
Mayors Council disagreed on.
Coquitlam Mayor Richard Stewart said that property taxes can't be
touched and that Victoria must recognize that the region needs more
tools to fund TransLink.
Delta Mayor Lois Jackson, who
chairs the Metro Vancouver Board
of Directors, said that local taxpayers will already face huge utility cost
increases in the years ahead to pay
for sewage treatment plant upgrades
and garbage disposal solutions.
Corrigan said that it's up to the
province: "In their small contributions, they are the ones driving the
decisions." tl
TRANSLINK
10-YEAR FUNDING
STABILIZATION PLAN
EXTRA $130 MILLION A YEAR
TO BE FUNDED BY:
• Fuel tax increase of 3 cents per
litre, effective January 1, 2010
Fare hikes:
—up to 7 per cent in 2010 and
2013 on top of 2 per cent annual hikes for inflation
—discounted prepaid tickets
and fare zone passes to immediately jump 10 per cent next
year
10 YEAR PLAN DELIVERS:
Service frozen at 2009 levels
New   services   for   Olympics,
including third SeaBus (to be
removed after Games)
7 extra West Coast  Express
cars to lengthen trains, 48 new
SkyTrain cars
No new rapid transit lines or
capital projects—including UBC
Rapid Line and the underground
bus loop
Funding  for  roads   essentially
frozen
Funding for cycling cut in half, to
$3 million per year
5  per cent cut to TransLink
administration
IVANTAGE   POINT
Bus loop: a symbolic victory for students
GERALD DEO PHOTO/THE UBYSSEY
JUSTIN MCELROY
sports@ubyssey.ca
Ding-dong, the witch is dead. I mean
the bus loop. Follow campus issues
for too long and it's hard to tell the
difference.
For years, students have whined,
written, bitched, moaned, groused,
argued and sang that the bus loop
was a bad idea. Now that it is gone,
some will point to this as an example
of how students can make a difference, stop the administration and
teach the world to live in perfect
harmony.
But before we pat ourselves too
much on the back for this, let's keep
in mind that the project has been
scrapped because TransLink doesn't
have the $ 10 million needed after a
recession, and that changed governance and funding structures have
made life difficult for them—not
because anyone really cared what
students thought.
This is a symbolic victory more
than anything else. But then again,
the bus loop was always more of a
symbol.
Over a 20-year span, UBC built
and built, expanded and expanded,
transforming itself from a large, yet
relatively sleepy university, into a
small city, complete with tall shiny
condos and a billion-dollar endowment. And for the most part, students got the proverbial shaft—we
were never meaningfully consulted,
and our opinion was considered a
secondary concern, at best.
So in 2003, when the university
proposed that the University Boule-
vard/Wesbrook Place entrance-to-
campus-by-default would be turned
into a neighbourhood full of market
housing, a shopping mall and retail
space, which would fund a $50 million bus loop that would go underneath it all...well, you can imagine
the student outrage. Or at least what
passes for outrage on this campus.
Students on the left criticized the
sell-out to corporate and market
interests in the heart of campus. Students in the centre (there is no "right"
on campus) complained the area for
the bus loop was too small and the
technology around it still unproven.
Thousands signed petitions against
it. Songs were sung. Activists arrested. Ask a fifth-year student what
that "Trek Park" sign beside the Knoll
means if you want the full story.
But along the way, a funny thing
happened. UBC got a president in
the form of Stephen Toope who
seemed to actually care just a little bit
what students thought. Plans for the
above-ground portion of the project
(the shopping 'n' condos part) were
scrapped. In its place was a new SUB,
one that the university would pony
up $2 5 million towards and that, logically—though surprisingly—would
become the centrepiece of campus.
But for some reason, for 18
months after the new SUB was
approved, the bus loop, like the rotten corpse of a fading empire, still
persisted as a proposed reality. UBC
still had plans approved for it, still
spent money preparing the project,
still waited for TransLink to pony up
the money, and didn't seem to care
that the main reasons for building
the structure in the first place had
vanished.
Maybe I've been getting too
sucked into the 40th anniversary celebrations for Monty Python, but for
the past couple of years, the bus loop
was UBC's Dead Parrot, a redundant
shell they stubbornly nailed to a post
and claimed was a good purchase,
despite all evidence pointing to the
contrary.
"This bus loop can't be built with
the current technology."
"What are you talking about?
We've got plans for a remarkable bus
loop. Beautiful technology!"
"But nothing has happened. If
TransLink doesn't have the money,
why do you insist the bus loop is
alive?"
"It's just resting until the funding
comes up!"
But I digress. Suffice to say, in
2003 a bus loop made little sense, in
2009 it made even less, and today,
finally, mercifully, it appears to be
dead. Ceased to be. An ex-bus loop.
And students are better off for it. tff
For the past couple
of years, the bus
loop was UBC's
Dead Parrot, a
redundant shell.
■■vantage point
A bigger,
better
Farm
FRIENDS OF THE UBC FARM
As the Main Campus Plan (MCP)
consultations wrapped up last
week, many became concerned
when the 24-hectare UBC Farm
was marked "off limits" for discussion. The Farm is now being reviewed under a separate academic
planning process, called the South
Campus Academic Plan (SCAP).
This plan is linked to UBC's Sustainability Academic Strategy (SAS)
and is taking a cross-disciplinary
approach to creating an innovative vision for the Farm's future.
The committee responsible for the
plan represents a number of UBC
faculties, and they have worked to
incorporate current and historical
input from students, staff, faculty
and community members. The
plan will be presented to UBC's
Board of Governors late this fall,
fulfilling the Board's December
2008 request. Friends ofthe Farm
(FotF) feel that addressing the UBC
Farm under this academic planning process is a very positive step
forward.
There are a few outstanding issues that FotF continues to work
on. It is clear that the "Future
Housing Reserve" label on the UBC
Farmland needs to be changed.
It needs to be clear as to when
and by whom this change will be
made. Delays in this designation
change will undermine the efforts
of the academic planning process.
Secondly, during last week's
consultations, farm supporters'
attention was focused on a "gre-
enway" going right through the
Farm.
While FotF applauds any effort
to make the UBC Farm accessible
to pedestrians and cyclists, the
placement of a greenway bisecting
the Farm is not appropriate, and
plans to create this kind of access
must be developed in consultation
with farm stakeholders. It is fundamental that any plans underway
for the Farm are kept transparent
and accessible.
Thirdly, the Farm can play a key
role in the campus' operational
sustainability goals, and the MCP
needs to have the flexibility to incorporate links between the Farm
and the rest of campus.
In short, FotF feels positive
about the way things are going.
Staying on top of the academic
planning process, the MCP and
changing the "Future Housing
Reserve" label are essential in the
coming months. The evolution
of planning for the UBC Farm is
heading in the right direction.
The Farm offers a chance to take
a significant leap in sustainability
practice on campus, and there are
plenty of exciting additional opportunities for hands-on sustainability learning to look forward
to as plans for the UBC Farm
progress, tl UBYSSEY.CA/NEWS/2009.10.29
Students take their
pants off for charity
UBC students David Cameron, Ben Cappellacci
and Lucas Lemanowicz took off their pants to
support prostate cancer research on Wednesday
afternoon as part of the Nestea Recruits contest.
If their charity fundraiser, called UBC Pants off
for Charity, is deemed the most successful of the
teams competing, they stand to win tuition for a
year and a paid summer internship at Coca-Cola
"This is definitely the craziest charity event I've
put on," Lucas said. The craziness was unfortunately mitigated bythe cold, which caused all but
the bravest individuals to sport their underwear
over tights or even over pants.
—Brendan Albano
ABOVE: Students collect donations for prostate
cancer research inside the SUB on Wednesday
LEFT: Two students pose in their underwear—in
the cold.
BRENDAN ALBANO PHOTOS/THE UBYSSEY
Participants of Trick or Eat collect cans of food on Halloween in order to help the hungry, gerald deo photo illustration/the ubyssey
Giving cans, not candy
MIRA GALPERIN
Contributor
This Halloween, instead of getting
candy, you can give canned food
thanks to UBC's Trick or Eat, an
event that puts a new spin on an old
Halloween tradition while helping
the hungry in one full sweep.
Trick or Eat is headed by Meal
Exchange, an organization started
in 1993 by Wilfred Laurier University student Rahul Raj that focuses on student solutions to help
Canadians faced with hunger. In
2001, Meal Exchange expanded to
include a UBC chapter. Now, the
organization spans universities
across Canada and the US and puts
on various events throughout the
year.
Katherine Xu, co-president of
UBC Red Cross, said that "over the
past few years Trick or Eat has been
extremely successful and had amazing response from students and
community."
Xu said that Trick or Eat is UBC
Red Cross's most popular event and
takes place on Halloween night. The
concept is simple: people go door to
door just as they would for trick or
treating, but instead of asking for
candy, they ask for canned food. The
majority of the collected food is then
donated to the UBC Food Bank, with
some going to the Greater Vancouver Food Bank. The event asks that
volunteers take three hours of their
time to wander the streets near and
around UBC and collect food. When
the collecting is done, volunteers are
either free to party the night away
or stay and help with packaging and
sorting the food.
Last year's Trick or Eat saw over
400 students trek through the cold
and collect over 8750 pounds of
food. Throughout Canada, 6000 volunteers collected close to $400,000
worth of food. This year, Meal Exchange hopes to reach their goal
of raising $400,000 worth of food
and $30,000 in online donations,
helping the 2.7 million Canadians
faced with hunger.
If helping stop hunger isn't
enough, volunteers can dress in costumes and collect food and candy.
Students can register online or check
out the many AMS clubs on campus
that are doing it: the UBC Red Cross,
UBC Food Bank, and Phrateres do
this event every year.
Shannon Rooney, an executive
for Phrateres UBC, a non-profit
AMS social service club for women,
is excited about this year's event.
"It's a great way to give back and
the neighbourhoods we visit really
do appreciate us coming," she explained. "It's such a great cause! We
tend to get a few pieces of candy too,
so it's basically just as fun as trick-
or-treating." tl
Trick or Eat takes place on Saturday
October 31 from 4pm-?':30pm. Want
to help but can't make it to the event?
You can donate money—as little as
$2.50 can supply one whole meal.
Digging up moon dust
UBC Robotics team places sixth
at NASA contest
ROEL MOEURS
Contributor
During this year's third annual
NASA Regolith Excavation Challenge, a robot built by six UBC
students managed to excavate a
total of 43 kilograms of moon dust
(regolith), thereby securing a solid
sixth place for the team.
The objective of the Challenge is
simple: build a robot that can dig
up at least 150 kilograms of regolith in less than 30 minutes. Among
the 20 teams that pursued the top
prize of $500,000, there was one
lone Canadian delegation—TREAD,
one of the projects of the UBC
Thunderbird Robotics Team.
The team, consisting of six upper- year Science students and two
faculty advisors, had been working
on the project since September
2008—and their work was not in
vain. Even though they only managed to collect 43 kilograms in the
allotted time frame (the winning
team managed to excavate 400
kilograms) their robot received
praise from the jury for its innovative design.
"We were told if [NASA officials]
were going to award a prize for
innovation and creativity it would
go to us because our robot was
closest to providing a practical
solution to the moon-dust digging
issue," said faculty advisor Professor John Meech. "You couldn't see
the winning team's robot during
its run because of the incredible
dust cloud. Of the five robots that
finished ahead of us, none of
them could possibly operate on
the moon with its one-sixth gravity
and no atmosphere. Dust particles
would become projectiles and fly
on for many metres or perhaps
kilometres."
The team ran into problems during the Challenge, which was held
during the weekend of October 17
in California, when they tried to
set up communications with their
robot. In order to keep things as
life-like as possible, the Challenge
makes sure that all communications are simulated as if they were
a real-life lunar mission, including
a two-second delay between the remote operator and the robot.
"The network setup problems
we were experiencing cut into
our excavation time," explained
Amy Cheng, fourth-year Computer
Science student and TREAD team
leader. Because of this, the team
was only able to dig for a total of
18 minutes instead of the allotted
30.
"It's like learning to swim by
being dropped into a 12-foot deep
pool," said TREAD member and
fifth-year Engineering student Taylor Cooper. "Overwhelming until
the end, but very educational."
Even though they didn't win,
Cheng is pleased with the results.
"Having had the opportunity of
demonstrating and proving that
our design works at the competition was quite satisfying. I have
also learned a lot from this project,
from how to be an effective fundraiser to learning how to use the
equipment," she said.
There will be no second chance
for Cheng and her team, since
the goal of digging up at least 150
kilograms of regolith has been
reached, thus ending the Challenge. However, Cheng is already
looking to the future.
"I am definitely looking forward
to working on my next competition
engineering project. I might be
looking into a satellite project," she
said, tl Cultur
2009.10.29/UBYSSEY.CA/CULTURE/5
Go to ubyssey.ca/culture for a listing of Halloween
music, theatre and bzzr events around the city as
well as a video profile of the zany sci-fi club.
Slightly less groan-worthy slutty costumes
KRISTEN FORD
Contributor
Halloween is fast approaching. While
children think of jack-o-lanterns
and candy, adults think of booze
and hooking up. If Mean Girls and
costume shops have taught me anything, it's that Halloween costumes
can be summed up by one pairing:
lingerie and animal ears. Hemlines
creep up, cleavage pops out and fishnets take over as much surface area
as possible.
Don't get me wrong. I don't hate
Halloween, I LOVE Halloween! It's
my favourite day of the year: the one
txstovm
day where you can booze it up in costume while snarfing candy intended
for five-year-olds. You can show off
your creative side in public without
the clanger of being sent to live in a
padded room.
But the one thing I despise about
this holiday are the manufactured
costumes. A bra, garter belt, bonnet
and shepherd's crook do not a Halloween costume make. Sure, it may
be appropriate for the bedroom—if
one of you has a sheep fetish—but
you are hardly recognizable as Little
Bo Peep. Maybe Little Bo Peep once
she got strip searched at the airport,
but you suH shouldn't have to shell
out a hundred dollars
on a metre of fabric and a garnish oflace.
If you insist
on wearing a
slutty fabricated
costume, strive
to be different
Costume repeats
should be a Halloween no-no. I don't
care how amazing
your tramp stamp looks
paired with those genie
pants, the guy or gal you
want to take home will still
be unable to distinguish
you from the three other
Jeannies traipsing around
the club. Put in a little bit
of effort and it may reap
some rewards. You'll be
recognizable in Facebook photos,
and someone may be enamoured by
your wit in addition to just your tits.
SLUTTY ZOMBIE PRINCESS/NURSE/
FRENCH MAID/TYPICAL HALLOWEEN
COSTUME
Creativity equivalent: BComm
Some Halloween standbys are
common for a reason. They're
easy to find and easy to recognize.
Great..you're a fairy. Oh boy, an
angel. What, a devil? How original and naughty. You know what
else is recognizable? Zombies.
Everyone loves a zombie. You can
pretend you're doing a tribute to
"Thriller."
Take grey body paint and go to
town on ALL of your bare skin.
Still too much work? Fine, wear
sheer grey tights and mix green
concealer with foundation a few
shades too light. Make your eyeshadow particularly smokey and
add purple and grey shadows
below your eyes and in the hollow
of your cheeks. Wear dark lipstick
and cake fake blood in the corners.
Dribble some down your chin. Sacrifice your costume. Take scissors
and go to town. Shred the bottom
of your dress and make slashes in
your top/corset. If you decide to
slice through the structural portions of the costume, keep double-
sided tape handy. All of these rips
are just another excuse to show
more skin.
SLUTTY MOUNTED BUNNY/MOUSE/
KITTY/CUTE WOODLAND CREATURE
Creativity equivalent: BFA
That phrase got you, didn't it?
I'm referring to "mounted" in the
taxidermy sense. You can still
wear those bunny ears, painted
nose and the cute little number
that shows the goods, but now
you won't blend in with the line of
Playboy bunnies.
Take brown eyeliner and draw
lines around your joints and torso
to form panels. Use black eyeliner
to draw X's across these borders
to look like stitching. Take thick
black cotton or wool to add rows
of stitches across your clothing
(if you have any). Wear black-out
contacts to make your eyes look
like glass beads. Get cotton batting
and tuck tufts of it wherever you
can (bra, garter, heels, hot pants,
etc..) to look like you're bursting
at the seams. Now you can defend
stuffing your bra.
SLUTTY FAMOUSLY KILLED
HISTORICAL FIGURE
Creativity equivalent: BFA
I know this might sound difficult, but you may want to build a
costume.
Marie Antoinette? Wear a period dress or any large poofy dress
with a corset. Feel free to push
your boobs up to your chin. Bare
ankle if you dare. Powder your
face white and apply plenty of pink
blush to your cheeks. Pile your hair
high above your head into a updo.
Draw a jagged line around your
neck in brown eyeliner and add
a dripping border of fake blood.
Walk with your head slightly tilted.
Marie Curie? Reuse last year's
Sarah Palin or sexy librarian costume; glasses, blazer and skirt.
Feel free to make the skirt shorter
and skip the shirt. Drape safety
goggles around your neck and
place test tubes in your pockets.
Cover yourself from head to toe in
green glitter. A radioactivity sign
would be a nice courtesy.
Joan of Arc? Use a cigarette to burn
holes into hot pants and a tank top.
Burn a bag of popcorn and use it to
scent your clothing. Wear a knight's
breastplate over your ensemble.
Chainmail is optional. Zip on a pair
of knee- or thigh-high black boots.
Crimp your hair and comb it out to
frizz it. Smear your skin with black
eyeshadow or actual soot. Cough a
lot.
SLUTTY YOU
Creativity equivalent: MFA
Fine. Go nude. Grab a sponge brush,
body paint, glitter and pasties if
you're prudish. Whether you choose
to paint yourself as Gumby, a Blue
Man or van Gogh's Starry Night is irrelevant. You are naked. People will
like that. tJ
Costume solutions for the half-assed
NESSA AREF
Contributor
It's
ANTHONY GOERTZ GRAPHICS/THE UBYSSEY
:30pm
on      Hal-
1 o w e e n
night     and
after an hour-
long raid of your
closet   you've   assembled a costume
consisting of rain boots,
your girlfriend's  sparkly
gold leotard and your "Luck
of the Irish" boxer shorts.
Clearly, you're going as a
moron. Or perhaps a mental patient. But fear not! In
order to aid with the plight
of the perpetually busy and/
or procrastinating student
The Ubyssey has assembled
a list of costumes you can
easily pull together at the
last minute.
EDWARD CULLEN
Pop culture-conscious costumes of the past include
Johnny Depp's eyeliner
happy pirate and Heath
Ledger's beloved Joker. This
year's addition: Robert Pat-
tinson's broody and much
lusted-after big-screen version of Twilight's Edward
Cullen. So grab a palm full
of hair gel, a pair of plastic
fangs from the local dollar
store and some eyeliner.
Attempt to look like you
haven't washed your hair
in days and make agitated
moose faces every time a pretty girl
looks in your general direction. For
added flair, dust on some sparkles
in order to twinkle in the sunlight
and perhaps you'll be chased by
throngs of tweens and mothers
alike.
THE JONAS BROTHERS
If the emotionally constipated bloodsucker boyfriend look isn't for you,
yet you still crave the attention of
hordes of screaming women, you
might try the boy-band flavour of the
week; the Jo Bros. Deck yourselves
out in skinny jeans, fedoras, button up shirts, vests and of course
their signature purity rings. Add
drum sticks, guitar picks and miscellaneous sheet music for added
authenticity.
GOD'S GIFT TO WOMEN
Pull on some boxers (or don't) and
wrap yourself in a red ribbon. Attach
a sign to both your back and front. On
the front write "From God," and on
the back, "To Women." Feel free to
inform us on how well this actually
works.
NERD
For the ultimate in smexy (smart and
sexy), tantalize the ladies with a but-
toned-up plaid shirt, pocket protectors, glasses and high-waisted pants.
PIMPS AND HOS
Ladies, drape your boyfriends
in   excessive   amounts   of  blingy
jewelry (hats, scarves, boas, canes,
rings etc...) and bellbottoms if accessible. Sparkly and or shiny button up
shirts are recommended. Remember to leave the first eight buttons
undone for effect. Gentlemen, pick
out your lady's shortest skirt and
most see-through blouse. Fishnet
stockings and three-inch heels are
recommended for that certain je ne
sais quoi. Feel free to apply her lipstick too.
GENDER BENDER
Dress your wittle honey bun in your
favorite outfit and allow them to do
the same to you. Feel free to go overboard with make-up and fake facial
hair. Yes gentlemen, this does mean
Ugg boots. Have fun.
JON AND KATE
Kate: Cardigan, jeans, mood swing
hair (which can be styled from
any blond wig), bad fake tan, a bag
filled with an excessive amount of
children.
Jon: Hair plug wig, sweater vest,
wallet with eight kids pictures unrolled. Feel free to hit on everyone
but your "Kate".
LIBRARIAN
Sexy or not, it makes for an easy
costume: plaid skirt, Mary Janes,
sweater vest, dark-rimmed glasses
and a bun. Whip off the last two
items at random intervals throughout the evening.
UNDSAY LOHAN
Grab your shortest, slinkiest dress
and accessorize with some shades.
Dress your friends as the paparazzi
to snap pictures of you as you alternatively pose, hide from them and
dash into rehab centres.
MILEY CYRUS
Micro-mini short shorts, heels, a tank
top, overdone make-up and a microphone. Throughout the evening
burst into random verses of "Party in
the USA" and very poor attempts at
pole dancing.
HILLBILLY
Do your hair in braids or a mullet tie
a button-up shirt and throw on some
ripped up jeans. Carry abeer and a gun.
BARBIE
Grab a blonde wig and some heels
and you can get away with anything.
Pick a theme: Malibu Barbie, Tennis
Barbie, Career Barbie, Disco Barbie,
Commie Barbie, Princess Barbie...
SWINE FLEW
Dress in pink, fashion a nose and
ears from construction paper and
add wings for some H IN Fun!
BALLOON BOY
Attempt to get a reality TV show of
your own. Cut yourself head and arm
holes into a cardboard box accessorize with a silver balloon. U 6/UBYSSEY.CA/CULTURE/2009.10.29
®
HUMBER
The Business School
POSTGRADUATE
CERTIFICATES
FOR REWARDING CAREERS
FINANCIAL PLANNING
GLOBAL BUSINESS MANAGEMENT
HUMAN RESOURCES MANAGEMENT
INTERNATIONAL DEVELOPMENT
INTERNATIONAL MARKETING
MARKETING MANAGEMENT
PUBLIC ADMINISTRATION
Theatre at UBC Presents iubci     a place of mind
the MASTER
BUILDER
by Henrik Ibsen
a new adaptation and
translated by Errol Durbac
directed by
Gerald Vanderwoude
a co-production
with Yorick Theatre
October 29 to November 7, 2009 - 7:30 PM
TELUS Studio Theatre, UBC
Tickets: $20 / $14 Seniors / $10 Student
Box Office: 604.822.2678
theatre.ubc.ca
COME TO THE CULTURE SECTION'S
fTM-HUM STAFF MEETINGS
EVERY MONDAY AT NOON IN
THE UBYSSEYS OFFICE, SUB 24.
FOR MORE INFORMATION OR TO
WRITE FOR US, CONTACT
CULTURE@UBYSSEY.CA
Science Fiction Society is otherworldly
Sci-fi/Fantasy club are a quirky clan of film & literature buffs
BRYCE WARNES
bwarnes@ubyssey.ca
Deep in the bowels of the SUB,
there's a room not much bigger
than a walk-in closet. It's lined with
Science Fiction, Fantasy and Horror
books. Sixteen hundred of them, to
be exact. They ooze off the shelves
and into piles on the floor, worn paperbacks and library refugees fighting for space. This is the headquarters of UBC's Science Fiction Society
(SFS), and the claustrophobic would
be ill-advised to enter.
Although the collection is maintained by two volunteer librarians,
you'd still get the impression that the
room is on the verge of imploding.
It's just one of the many quirks that
have define the character ofthe club.
Like their beaver, for instance.
About ten inches tall, with a lightsa-
bre taped to his hand, the stuffed rodent has taken on the position of the
club's PR exec. President and social
coordinator Ekatarina Grguric, or
Eka for short, says it is named "mascot," although it has another long-forgotten name. One ofthe club's many
quirky in-jokes, it seems. Aside from
the beaver, though, what is SFS doing
to attract new members?
"Psychic advertising," jokes
Krzysztof Butkiewicz, the club's
vice-president "It hasn't been particularly effective."
Or has it? The number of active SFS members has more than
doubled in recent years, and they
now boast a mailing list well into the
triple digits.
It's movie night in the office, and
the theme is "classics that have been
turned into crappy remakes"; The
Day the Earth Stood Still and War
ofthe Worlds, specifically. The club
holds frequent film nights, a great
way to meet the club since non-
members are allowed to attend once
without joining to check it out.
Eventually, Neale Barnholden,
last year's president, wanders in.
"Ever seen The Ring?" he asks, as
Eka hands me a VHS tape. There's a
sticky note on it that reads "Do Not
Watch."
"It's not so much that someone recorded sections of The Ring," Eka says.
"It's more like the video that is played
in The Ring is, in fact, this video."
Eka and Krzysztof explore new worlds in SUB 125 E. anthony goertc graphic/the ubyssey
The same tape which, in the film,
curses anyone who watches it to an
untimely demise. No one's sure who
left it here although, Neale notes, the
last person to watch it didn't rewind.
The video is mysterious—not unlike the club itself. No one is able to
say who started it, or when. Some of
their library books have been in circulation since the 70s, and there are
members from ten years ago who
still drop by occasionally.
But for the most part, the focus
doesn't seem to be on club history
or prestige. There are no meeting
minutes recorded, no hardcore fundraisers planned. As members gather
in and around the office, and the din
of their conversation starts to drown
out the interview, it's obvious where
the focus is tonight—not on the club,
but on its members.
To some, science fiction may still
seem a marginal interest, better
suited to paranoid ufologists and
basement-dwelling Trekkies than to
normal earthlings. But as the SFS
gathers en masse and sets out for
the screening room, the mood is anything but alienating, tl
Membership in the UBC Science Fiction Society is $3, and guarantees
unlimited access to the club's movie
nights and library, in addition to their
video game setup and small VHS
library. Visit ubcsfs.com for more
info, or stop by SUB 125 E. They are
holding a film and board game night
in conjunction with the Wargamers'
Society from 6pm-12pm on Friday
October 30 in SUB 212 and 215
Evil Dead: The Musical fails to reanimate
TREVOR RECORD
culture@ubyssey.ca
You would expect that a blood-
drenched musical comedy based
on the much-beloved Evil Dead trilogy would be a pretty wild time. But
unless you love the movies with an
intense and unnatural passion, you
won't enjoy Evil Dead The Musical.
The musical is a joint production
between Ground Zero Theatre, Hit
& Myth Productions and Keystone.
Based on Spiderman Director Sam
Raimi's Evil Dead films, Evil Dead:
The Musical is more of a loving satire
than a faithful adaptation. Both film
and musical follow a group of college
kids who crash a cabin in the woods
only to find it has been infested by
demons from Candar. And both are
infused with a particular brand of
cheesy humour. Where they differ
is that while the films were created
to be genuinely scary in their own
cheesy way, the musical gets more
laughs making fun of the film—the
only scary thing about it is its musical failures.
The music is as campy as the plot,
but in a way that gets you laughing at
the musical rather than with it. The
lyrics are occasionally funny, but
generally fall back on the same jokes
over and over again. Not only that, but
the singing is disappointing—notably
from Tyler Rive, playing protagonist
Ash, who couldn't carry a tune to save
his life from Candarian demons.
Jamie Tognazzini, post-demon possession, threatens virgins, courtesy of photoganda
Evil Dead: The Musical has a
few strong points. There is gratuitous blood spillage; so much
that those seated in the front rows
(splatter zone) are given plastic
smocks. Stellar—not to mention
hilarious—performances are
delivered by both Jamie Tognazzini, who plays Ash's sister Cheryl
turned sass-mouthing Candarian
demon, and Cailin Stadnyk, who
plays both the ultra-slutty Shelly
and the slightly-less-slutty Annie.
The loving Raimi-deprecating
humour can be pretty funny,
although many of the jokes will
leave those who haven't seen the
films scratching their heads.
It seemed like Evil Dead The Musical was really an excuse to throw away
a few catch phrases and iconic poses
from the source films. For those fanatical "Deadites" who've placed the
Evil Dead upon a pedestal, the musical will be like a theatrical piece of
franchise merchandise to put next to
the action figures, wearable chainsaw
and "This is my Boomstick" tshirt.
For everyone else, it'll be endured at
best, and more likely loathed, tl
Evil Dead: The Musical is playing at
the Vogue Theatre from October 22 to
November 14. Tickets to the "Splatter
Zone" will cost a cool $68.25, while
balcony seats ring in at $47.25 each Hidden horrors: A guide to
Halloween's forgotten gems
2009.10.29/UBYSSEY.CA/CULTURE/7
DAX SORRENTI
Contributor
Every Halloween, we're subjected to
the same old films. Friday The 13'h,
Halloween, Scream and other staples
we've seen countless times before
flood the airwaves of television. What
about the hordes of horror films that
used to populate the shelves of video
stores, in a simpler time when VHS
was king? Here is a handy guide to
those films, some of which include
the thrill of hunting down a copy in
any way possible (although let's face
it, you'll likely be forced to download
them).
GORY GLORY: THE SPECTACLE
OF HORROR EFFECTS
If you're a fan of 80s horror, you
understand their appeal is never
pleasure through viewing sadistic
acts, but rather pleasure from the
cheap thrills playing off the fear
of our own bodily destruction
(and for some, comfort through
the deconstruction of the effects
themselves).
So for the avid gore fan I suggest
198 l's Canadian classic My Bloody
Valentine, which received a long-
awaited uncut DVD release earlier
this year, featuring restored footage
that was originally cut to receive
an R rating (and long thought to be
destroyed). No longer the butchered
shell of a film it once was, we can
finally see all of the eye-popping
effects.
If you're a fan of Friday The
13lh, 198 l's The Burning can also
be found uncut on DVD, featuring a plot almost identical to the
Friday films, but written prior to
their release. This is what Tom
Savini turned down Friday The
13'h Part 2 to work on so you can
consider it a quasi-sequel in spirit.
Of course, if it's creature effects
you're after, then 1988's Pump-
kinhead would be what you seek.
A revenge plot with disturbingly
realistic creature effects and tie
inimitable Lance Henriksen, it
will get under your skin like few
others.
For the slasher fanatic, Scott Spiegel's Intruder from 1989 features a
killer on the loose in a supermarket
after hours, and features the Raimi
brothers, Bruce Campbell and some
truly cringe-worthy moments.
BEST OF THE WORST: LOW ON
QUALITY, HIGH ON ENTERTAINMENT
For unintentional laughs, 1988's
Uninvited is about a mutant cat, or
should I say a cat hand-puppet, loose
on a luxury yacht attacking the witless protagonists in addition to the
film's credibility. The ending is beyond hilarity, featuring the survivor,
a dinghy and a cat puppet that just
won't die.
The film with a million alternate
titles, 1990's Creepers (also known as
The Crawlers, Contamination 7 and
Troll 3) just might have the world's
most ineptly filmed helicopter crash,
not to mention dialogue that defies
explanation. In fact, its prequel (in
name only) is also worth hunting
down (on a DVD double feature with
the original Troll), if only for the fact
that many consider it to be the best
worst film ever made.
If bad Italian zombie films are up
your alley, then 198 Vs Burial Ground
is a must-see. An adult playing a
child infatuated with his mother,
dialogue that gets lost in translation,
and everything else you expect from
the Italian zombie cycle.
If you prefer horror anthologies and are sick of
watching     Creepshow,
the       1983      film
Nightmares offers Emilio Estevez
in a punksploitation Tron ripoff,
and a giant rat that terrorizes a
suburban family.
Of course, I wouldn't dare exclude
some Christmas-fhemed horror
films that are just god-awful. 1980's
Christmas Evil is a tame and often
boring film, but worth watching for
it's ludicrous acting (it is, after all,
John Waters' favourite Christmas
film). But the cream of the crop is
1984's Silent Night, Deadly Night
and its sequel—huge cult hits thanks
to a combination of sacrilege, bad
taste and unbelievable filmmaking
ineptitude.
MONDO BIZARRO:
THE ODD AND STRANGE
1990's Mom tells the story of an elderly woman-turned-werewolf, and
the lengths her son must go to in
order to keep her out of trouble.
1983's Sleepaway Camp is genuinely creepy and atmospheric, but its biz-
zare ending—which I dare not ruin—is
the source of its legendary status.
Canada's The Pit showcases a
talking teddy bear convincing a boy
to throw people down a hole in the
ground, where troglodytic creatures
use them as food. Of course, if you
want to explore the Canadian "monsters in a hole underground" theme
further, you can also pick up The
Gate, re-released on DVD this month
from Lions Gate.
If you decide to search for some
of these films, you will have your
work cut out for you. Many of them
are unavailable on DVD, or have
been out of print for years. But with
some sleuthing skills (and the help of
Videomatica and its siblings), you'll
have a Halloween filled with brand-
new favorites, va
COURTESY OF SCREAMING CHICKEN THEATRICAL SOCIETY
Ed Wood's Orgy
of the Dead Live
<^
ANTHONY GOERTZ GRAPHICS/THE UBYSSEY
OANA SANDU
Contributor
The Screaming Chickens are a Vancouver-based, female-dominated
burlesque school and performance
troupe who perform classic dancing
which has more in common with
Moulin Rouge theatre and its tassel-
twirling dancers than modern striptease. Every year around Halloween,
they put on an adaptation of "King of
the B-movies" Ed Wood's 1965 sexploitation horror movie, Orgy of the
Dead. The play is filled with campy
humour, fancy costumes, gory makeup and exotic dances.
The original, written by the infamous drunk and self-proclaimed
cross-dressing Ed Wood, featured
over seventy minutes of nudity,
and was so bad it was considered
unwatchable by many—the International Movie Data Base reviewers
give it an average rating of 2.4/10.
But don't let the film's reputation
mislead you: Ed Wood's Orgy of the
Dead Live is quite entertaining.
In Ed Wood's Orgy ofthe Dead Live,
John and Shirley, two young lovers,
visit a cemetery looking for inspiration for John's monster fiction. The
two get more than they bargained
for. Captured by a werewolf and a
mummy, they're delivered to the
Emperor of the Dark World and the
Princess of the Damned and tied to
poles. While awaiting their fate, they
have to watch while twelve undead
characters dance, strip and show off
what they're made of—literally—for
the emperor's entertainment.
It may not stimulate the intellect,
but its sequence of elaborate and
sometimes shocking dance segments are quite titillating and varied.
These burlesque scenes alternate
from a sophisticated golden Cleopatra to a flesh-eating zombie that peels
all the way down to her skin and
more—though these characters are
the highlight of the production. Shirley goes from annoying to amusing
as her panic alternates between high-
pitched yelling and jumping around
in an aU-too-revealing outfit.
Ed Wood's Orgy ofthe Dead Lives-
tands out from other Halloween
shows for its use of tongue-in-cheek
humour, and performances that are
both beautiful and disgusting, tl
Thisyear's Orgy of the Dead ran from
Wednesday, October 21 to Saturday
October 24 at the WISE Hall. Miss
it this time around? Visit scream-
ingchicken.net/or event listings and
burlesque classes.
Change is good.
UNUMIT
YOURSELF
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Those 2 years could be the perfect springboard
to a degree from Canada's best business school.
An undergraduate business degree from Ivey to
be precise. Check it out. You might be very glad
you did. Go to iveyhba.com and let's talk.
iveyhba.com 8/UBYSSEY.CA/OLYMPICS/2009.10.29
105 days until the Games begin
Olympics
Fourth-year Music student chosen
by Vancouver Symphony Orchestra
KATHY YAN LI
kyanli@ubyssey.ca
Walking down the halls of the Music
building, you might hear the tinkling
of the piano played by charming Music student Jared Miller. Still haven't
peaked your interest? Read on.
Jared Miller is more than just a
fourth-year Music student at UBC.
Still in the process of completing his
major in music composition, Miller
is one ofthe five composers selected
by the Vancouver Symphony Orchestra (VSO) to compose an Olympics-
inspired piece. At the age of 20, he is
the youngest recipient this year.
Miller was notified in May 2009
about the commission, officially
began working on it in July and
completed it in October. One of the
criteria the VSO wanted for the Olympic commissions was for the pieces
to be only around three minutes
long—which is no mean feat when
composing for a full orchestra. "It's
like summarizing your masters thesis paper into one page, when it's 60
pages long," laughs Miller.
Despite the honour and grace of
being "the chosen one," Miller said
it is "a lot of work." He laughs at his
deteriorating social life, often conflicted between just hanging out with
his friends or staying behind to work.
For his Olympic commission, he
was inspired by the traffic jams in
our daily lives. Titled "2010 Traffic
Jam," Miller explains that Vancouver
Fourth-year Music student Jared Miller's Olympic-inspired composition is called "2010 Traffic Jam." kathy yan u photo/the ubyssey
is getting "more busy, more comso-
politian, [with] more construction,
more car traffic." When working
around Cambie Street, he could
hear the percussion and bombastic
sounds in the traffic. "There are
literal effects too. Sirens, whistles...
and trumpets imitating car horns,"
he said. "I want to capture that sound
with the colours of the orchestra and
the emotions of the people."
With many compositions under his
belt and his future looking bright, Miller plans to continue his studies in grad
school. Though his one true love is
composing, he said that it's like wearing only one hat that "writing concert
music is a hard field to support fully."
His advice? "Wear many hats."
Whether it's music for concerts,
movies or TV shows, he's going to be
there, tl
Jared Miller's Olympic commission
will premiere on December 5 at the
Orpheum Theatre at 8pm, right after
the intermission in Russia Rocks!
Cultural Olympiad boycott mostly hot air
CELESTIAN RINCE
crince@ubyssey.ca
On the one hand, most people in the
artistic community are unhappy, to
say the least, about the recent cuts
to BC's funding for the arts. On the
other hand, the 2010 Cultural Olympiad, and the Olympics as a whole,
seem to have ample amounts of
funding. Coincidence? Some think
not. A recent Globe and Mail article
reported that Matthew Good, a Vancouver musician, has urged artists to
boycott Olympic-related events. But
how many have taken up this call to
arms? Very few, apparently.
Scott Watson, director and curator
of UBC's Belkin Art Gallery, said that
he knows of no artists or organizations that support such a boycott. He
pointed out that Good was not invited
to perform at the Cultural Olympiad,
and therefore a boycott from him is
meaningless. "If I say I'm not going
to go to a party, what does that mean
if I wasn't invited to begin with?"
Watson asked. According to Watson,
most artists simply cannot afford to
participate in boycotts. While he is
strongly opposed to the arts cuts, he
feels that boycotts are in no way a solution or productive course of action.
The Alliance for Arts and Culture
is certainly unhappy about the arts
cuts. Executive Director Amir Alibhai said that the Alliance plans to
take advantage of the Olympics by
using it as "an opportunity to bring
[the world's] attention to our funding crisis." Despite all of this, it does
Vancouver musician Matthew Good has urged local artists to boycott the Cultural Olympiad, virginie m&iard graphic/the ubyssey
not support a wholesale boycott of
the Games.
Kevin McKeown, director of communications for the Alliance, said
that he had no information when
asked about a list of artists that were
participating in a boycott. He pointed
out that many artists are under
contract, and thus have little choice
about the events they play at. As for
artists who are self-employed, "a gig
is a gig," and asking them to boycott
the event would be like asking them
to "cut off their noses."
Obviously, the artists who have
agreed to perform for the Cultural
Olympiad do not support a boycott.
The Vancouver Symphony Orchestra
(VSO) is one group that will be performing at the Cultural Olympiad.
Stephanie Fung, a public relations associate for the VSO, said that they are
not aware of any Olympic boycott.
When asked about the VSO's opinion
regarding the Olympics as a whole,
she replied that they had "no public
comment at this time."
Most artists seem to be taking a
pragmatic approach: accept the work
whether it's Olympic-related or not,
but speak out against the funding
cuts and do whatever possible to
oppose further cuts. As for the
proposed boycott, it appears to be
mostly hot air. Many in the artistic
community claim to have no knowledge of artists that are boycotting
Olympic-related events. Moreover,
there have been no public announcements of an artist declining
an invitation to the Cultural Olympiad due to ethical issues or supporting a boycott.
Vancouver Olympic Organizing
Committee officials don't seem to be
having trouble finding talent for the
Cultural Olympiad. For now, at least,
talk of boycotts is just that: talk, tl
IOLYMPIC   BRIEFS
FLEX THEM MUSICAL MUSCLES
The Vancouver Cultural Olympiad
has just signed on indie rock and
electronic music acts to its lineup.
The 60-day event, which starts on
January 22, 2010, just added local
acts such as Dallas Green of City and
Colour, Feist, Hey Rosetta!, Malajube
and Chromeo. The additions join
over 130 other musicians, theatre,
dance, visual arts and digital programming acts. Included in those
are Stars, Moon Water by Cloud Gate
Dance Theatre of Taiwan and troubadour Steve Earle.
CLOSURE OF NINE MAJOR
ROUTES, SPECIAL BUS LANES
DURING GAMES
Vancouver Olympic Organizing Co-
mittee (VANOC) partners revealed
this week that they plan to close
nine major routes in and out of the
downtown core, as well as convert
32 city blocks into pedestrian-only
corridors. As a result, they plan to
develop 170 Olympic bus lanes and
increase the number of bus and
SkyTrain activity to get more people
using transit.
Transit times are also expected to
get significantly longer. The Vancouver 2010 website warns to plan your
trip—to "know before you go."
ILLEGAL HOME RENTALS
According to a recent Vancouver Sun
report, only 47 homeowners have
applied for a rental licence for the
Olympics.
In Vancouver, failure to get
a licence could result in a maximum penalty of $2000, but Celine
Mauboules, housing policy planner
with the city, said that Vancouver
would enforce the bylaw only if there
was a specific complaint.
"We wouldn't start there [with
the fine]. We'd send a letter, 'this
has come to our attention,' and ask
that they apply. If that doesn't work
we'd send an inspector to do further
investigation, or do an injunction to
prevent them from renting."
VANOC STRUGGLING TO FIND STAFF
According to a recent BClocalnews.
com report, regional district staff for
VANOC, the organization is still trying to recruit over 55,000 workers
and volunteers.
"Metro Vancouver has not approved secondments of any staff to
VANOC for the Winter Olympics,"
Metro spokesman Glenn Bohn said.
"At this time, managers don't plan to
authorize any secondments for the
Olympics."
UBC CONTEST CHALLENGES CLASSROOMS TO ENGAGE WITH OLYMPICS
UBC has introduced their Global
Minds Challenge, which challenges
students from kindergarten to Grade
12 to show how they use learning
technology to promote understanding of the Olympics.
The contestbegins October 26 and
closes on December 18, 2009, and
will offer prizes of $2010 for the top
five submissions. An international
panel of judges and experts will consider education-based criteria with
which to evaluate the entries.
Examples include creating an
online scavenger hunt in order to
help students study performance-
enhancing drugs or using Twitter to
discuss experiences of Paralympic
athletes. U 2009.10.29/UBYSSEY.CA/SPORTS/9
B-BALL HOME OPENER
UBC <?> Trinity Western University
Friday, Oct. 30,
Women (?> 6pm, Men (?> 8pm
War Memorial Gym
Basketball season begins in earnest Friday, as the Canada West
regular season begins with a home opener against TWU. The
Ubyssey will have full coverage of this weekend's action along
with a full preview of both teams in next Monday's issue .
Sports
Like sister, like sister
First-year Erika Vieweg joins star sister Alex on women's team
EUNICE HH
Contributor
This autumn, the Thunderbirds will
usher in a second Vieweg. In 2007,
Alex Vieweg joined the team, quickly
becoming a fixture and over the last
season, earning her place as the
third highest scorer and rebounder
on the T-Birds.
With younger sister Erika entering UBC, there's a chance the
women's basketball team will have
an all-star sister act in the future.
But unlike many star athletes who
start to train before they can even
say, "No Dad," the Viewegs didn't
take to the court immediately out
of the womb. Their love affair with
basketball began much later, and by
chance.
After coming to the conclusion
that dance is a "harder life," the two
traded in dreams of the stage and
point shoes for a court and sneakers.
Alex Vieweg began her basketball
career in the eighth grade after 13
years of dance. Two years the younger, Erika followed suit.
"I started because [Alex] just randomly went to the tiyouts in grade
eight," says Erika, "So ever since she
was doing it, I dropped dance and
picked up basketball."
The sisters admit having family
on court is a source of comfort.
"We've played together for so long.
We know how we play. We learned
the same things," says Alex.
But their basketball beginnings
and what they learned are not the
only similarities. At 5'11" (Erika)
and 6'1" (Alex), both are vertically
spoiled from my 5' 3" view. Both rely
on teammates for motivation and
inspiration. Both are far from superstitious: When asked whether they
had any pre-game rituals or lucky
charms, the two both cited sleep and
music. And on the court, both are
"not scared of anything." Like sister,
like sister.
Turning towards the upcoming
season, both players are looking forward to next week's game against SFU.
While their Burnaby rivals won the
national championships lastyear, UBC
has taken home the top prize three of
the last sixyears, and the Viewegs have
their sights set on getting back to the
nationals this year, after a 2008/2009
season that was marked by injuries
and inconsistent play.
As for post-Thunderbirds, Erika,
with four years to go before reaching
her Arts degree, has barely begun
the journey and admits she has "no
idea" what comes after. Alex, on the
other hand, dreams of traveling with
her Geography major, hoping to visit
Ireland, Scotland, Italy and Greece.
When asked if Alex had any advice
for her younger sister, her reply
was simple: "Study a lot." They may
be basketball players on Friday and
Saturday nights and students by day,
but through it all, they're sisters first
and foremost, vl
Alex (left) and Erika (right) Vieweg are all business, gerald deo photo/the ubyssey
No more
late-night
drunken
high dives
Construction began Wednesday
on a cover surrounding the Aquatic
Centre's outdoor pool to allow the
facility to be in use the entire year. In
development for over two years, the
bubble (which will be clear) is expected to ease congestion on the indoor
pool and give more opportunities for
students to swim year-round.
"The current plan for the pool
cover is to have it in use seasonally,
but we are open to considering other
options and will review these options
once we receive student and community feedback," said Lloyd Campbell, manager of the Aquatic Centre.
For most students though, the key
question is: Does the cover mean a
temporary end to late-night drunken
dives off the 10 metre board? "I'd
advise against that," said Campbell
with a chuckle.
GERALD DEO PHOTO/THE UBYSSEY
Sports Editor: Justin McElroy
WEEKEND  PREVIEWS
GERALD DEO PHOTO THE UBYSSEY
SOCCER WRAPS UP REGULAR SEASON
The final weekend of the regular
season in soccer sees the men's and
women's teams looking to solidify
their play in preparation for the Canada West playoffs.
"I'm pretty happy with how the
team's played the last several weeks,
there's a pretty good vibe," said
Men's head coach Mike Mosher,
whose team (9-3-0) is tied for first
place in the conference, and has
already clinched one of four playoff
spots as it heads into this weekend's
road games against Calgary and
Lethbridge.
The women's team (6-2-4),
ranked third in the conference, has
not cliched a playoff spot yet, but
needs just one victory over the weekend against second place UVic and
sixth place Fraser Valley to make it
to the Canada West playoffs, taking
place next weekend at Trinity Western University.
VOLLEYBALL TEAM RENEWS
TWU RIVALRY
The top two volleyball programs
in BC face off once again this weekend, as the men and women Thunderbirds head to less-than-scenic
Langley to battle with the Trinity
Western Spartans in an early season
two-game series.
"TWU always has the BC rivalry
there...they're a big team, they're a
well-coached team, and it's going to
be interesting to see how we match
up," said men's head coach Richard
Schick. The UBC women's team
(2-0) are currently ranked No. 1 in
the country, while the men are ranked
No. 7.
BIRDS BASKETBALL
BEGINS FRIDAY
The T-Birds Men's and Women's
basketball teams take flight for the
2009/2010 season this Friday, as
they face off against the Trinity Western Spartans on Friday and Saturday
at War Memorial Gym (women's start
time 6pm, men's start time 8pm).
After 2007/2008 saw them win
their third championship in five
years, the women's team struggled
at times in 2008/2009, going 13-10
in the regular season. They reached
the Pacific Division Finals before being eliminated by eventual national
champions SFU.
The men look to bounce back from
their loss to Carleton in the CIS Championship final lastyear, and take their
first national title since 1972. Last
year, TWU was a fierce rival for the
Thunderbirds, as they handed UBC
one of their two regular season losses.
The two teams also tangled in the
Pacific Division Finals, where UBC
defeated the Spartans 2-0. tl 10/UBYSSEY.CA/SPORTS/2009.10.29
lATHLETES  OF THE  WEEK
With seven shutouts in twelve games, Dunnett is tied for the Canada West Conference lead in shutouts, gerald deo photo/the ubyssey
JACLYN DUNNETT (ABOVE)
Jaclyn Dunnett has done it again. The
UBC Women's soccer keeper earned
two shutouts this weekend, giving
her a conference-high total of seven
shutouts for the season. Dunnett, a
former All-Canadian keeper, made
eight huge saves in Saturday's game
along with making the pass that sent
Lisa Furutani down the field for the
only goal of the match. Dunnett was
a rock for her team, battling through
injury to protect the net all weekend
long. The two big wins versus the Saskatchewan Huskies and University
of Alberta Pandas puts UBC in third
place in the Canada West Division.
—Emily Grainger
DEMIJAN SAVIJA (LEFT)
Demijan Savija, known to his teammates as the Universal Soldier, is
one of the Athletes of the Week. A
third-year rightside hitter originally
from Capilano University, this new
T-Bird led the Men's volleyball team
to a win over the Winnipeg Wesmen
on October 24. Receiving Player of
the Match honours, Savija led the
T-Birds with an impressive 19 kills,
9 block assists, and 4 solo blocks, getting high above the opponents and
putting up a solid wall, vl
—Gary Brett
The Athletes ofthe Week are decided
by members of the Thunderbird Athletic Council.
New T-Bird Savija is already making his kills on the court, keegan bursaw photo/the ubyssey
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CIS scholarship
rules under review
Flexible model may stop UBC
from defecting to NCAA
REBECCA LINDELL
Contributor
Canada's university sports league
is looking to change its scholarship
rules to allow full-ride awards for
student athletes by next year.
"The principle is to keep the
best student athletes in Canada,"
said Canadian Interuniversity Sport
(CIS) President and UVic Director of
Athletics Clint Hamilton. "Currently,
the scholarship situation is such that
it's limiting our ability to do that. Financially, we are not able to compete
with our counterparts across the line
in the NCAA."
The maximum amount of award
money that student athletes at Canadian universities playing in the CIS
league are eligible for is the cost of tuition and ancillary fees. Meanwhile,
the nearby American National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA)
league offers additional funding for
residence and living expenses, making it an attractive option for talented
Canadian athletes.
CIS is exploring what Hamilton
calls "a flexible scholarship model."
This model would remove the per-
student cap, which would allow Canadian universities to give free-rides
for key players. It would still limit
the total amount of money available
per sport. For example, a basketball
program could have a scholarship
budget of $30,000 under the proposed model, and they would have to
determine how many full-ride scholarships were offered out of that pot.
Currently, universities can only offer
athletic scholarships which fund tuition and mandatory fees.
UBC has been one of the key players in initiating the review and have
long considered making the jump
into NCAA membership because it
would give the school more financial
flexibility. The university gave out
over $500,000 in athletic scholarships this year, but have argued that
they are unable to keep the best local
athletes in Canada due to scholarship restrictions.
While it would help Canadian
schools retain talent UBC's Athletic
Director Bob Philip said flexibility isn't
enough. The league needs to rethink
scholarship eligibility rules as well.
"We think they should adopt the
NCAA rule and the NCAA rule says
if you are eligible to play sports, you
are eligible to receive an athletic
award," Philip said.
Student athletes need to keep
a 60 per cent average, be enrolled
in three classes during the season,
and gain 18 credits each year to
be eligible to play sports. To earn
scholarships, athletes need an 80
per cent average out of high school
and at least a 65 per cent average at
the end of your first year. Students
beyond first-year must keep a 65
per cent average, with the exception
of Ontario, which requires a 70 per
cent average.
Hamilton said any proposals to
change the eligibility rules would
doom any other changes to failure
when the CIS membership votes
on them in June. The membership
is made up of schools from across
Canada.
"I don't believe at this point that
there is an appetite to want to lower
the academic requirements that are
on the books as part of a more expanded financial offering in terms of
scholarship," Hamilton said.
Philip said even if scholarship
rules do change, there's no guarantee UBC would close the NCAA door.
The NCAA is an important brand
for athletes and playing in the American league would help attract the
best Canadian athletes to UBC, Philip
said, adding that it would also raise
the level of play.
"A Canadian student athlete
should be able to study in Canada
and have the same opportunities.
Why should they have to go to the
States?" he added.
Still, UBC VP Students Brian Sullivan said it would be an important
step towards resolving some of the
issues pushing UBC towards the
NCAA.
"One very important positive elements is the scholarship flexibility....
If that report comes back and it's a
favourable action with respect to
eligibility for scholarship and flexibility for scholarships...that would be a
positive influence that UBC will take
into account when deciding whether
or not to apply for NCAA membership," Sullivan said, tl
Current rules
AS IT STANDS: The maximum
amount of award money that
student athletes at Canadian universities are eligible to receive is
the cost of tuition and mandatory
fees.
WHAT COULD CHANGE: The CIS
is considering removing the cap
on individuals but putting a cap
on the total amount of money
available to a given sport, allowing for full-ride scholarships to be
awarded to key players.
Eliqibiltv of students
I CIS ELIGIBILITY: Student athletes
need to keep a 60 per cent average, be enrolled in three classes
during the season, and gain 18
credits each year to be eligible
to play sports. To be eligible for
scholarships, athletes must enter
with an 80 per cent average from
high school and maintain a 65
percent average throughout their
university career.
NCAA ELIGIBILITY: Student
athletes must be able to meet
entrance averages and other criteria for entry at their school of
choice to be eligible for athletics.
Students in a Division II school
must have a minimum GPA of 2.0
and a minimum SAT score of 680
(verbal and math only), and if a
student is eligible for team sports,
they are eligible for scholarships. 2009.10.29/UBYSSEY.CA/IDEAS/ll
Online
Letters
Watch streeters videos   .Write to us at
at ubyssey.ca feedback@ubysseyca
On Monday
UBC students visit Iran over the
summer, describe culture shock
ISEX   COLUMN
TOO SEXY
Insatiable Readership,
What a week. We've gotten suck
ered, tuckered and just out right
tuckered in ways we didn't even
realize possible. We hope y'all are
better rested. Halloween, sometimes
known as Sexy Christmas, is mere
days away and there can be no rest for
the wicked. That's kind of what this
week's letter is about, actually. Our
sexy, anonymous pen pal writes in
with a query about taking a rest from
raunch—a rest not entirely planned
or welcome. So what do you do when
your pleasure party's prorogued?
Read on, sexplorers, and find out.
I'M IN A BIT OF A BIND I am in the
third year of a fantastic relationship
with someone I have grown to care
very deeply for, and I know that the
reciprocal is also true. We talk, we giggle, we cook. Eveiything is great—except for the sex. I'm a good deal more
experienced than her, and by her own
admission, her sex drive has dropped
like a brick over the past year. Our
sheet-romping used to light the bed
frame on fire, but now it's like trying
to light a fire in a rainstorm. We've
talked about it, we've experimented,
albeit in a very vanilla way. Nothing
has worked. Needless to say, this has
left me frustrated and growing sad,
bit by bit. She seems unperturbed by
our newfound chastity. I'm not a sex
maniac, but once in a while would
be nice. I'm also wondering if she's
simply bored and is finding her thrills
elsewhere.
Is semi-regular sex an unreasonable expectation to have in a
relationship?
—Frustrated Loyalist
THINK OF FT THS WAY, FL it might
not be the end of your sex life, just the
intermission. Unfortunately for you,
blueballs by any other name hurt just
as bad. With this in mind, let's examine the options.
OPTION ONE: Your girlfriend's lack
of sex drive is just a transitory blip
on the radar, and she's still into you.
People's libidos can drop temporarily for any number of reasons, stress
and lack of rest to name just two.
Is she having a particularly hectic
year? Writing a thesis, perhaps? Or
has she recently sustained some
sort of trauma, such as the loss of
a loved one? Is she eating too few
veggies or not getting enough sleep?
Consuming the heavy, carby comfort foods commonly eaten in winter that can also decrease the libido
by making you feel sleepy, not sexy.
If any of the above is accurate, just
wait it out, sailor. You'll be out of dry
dock before you know it.
OPTION TWO: Her lack of sex drive will
not go away on its own, but she's still
into you. There are a couple reasons
why this could be the case, and they're
probably fixable. The first is simply
relationship length. Three years is a
relatively long span of togetherness,
and this kind of long-term stability
tends to put couples in an extremely
comfortable emotional space. That's
not a bad thing, but it can decrease
sex drive and put you in a bit of a rut
so that you forget what it was like to
feel excited by your partner. It might
be important to rediscover the sensuality of touch and each other's bodies
in a less sexual way. Try non-sexual
massage or something and buy a tub
of hand cream to help you survive the
interregnum.
Second, if your girlfriend is on hormonal birth control such as the Pill
or the Mirena IUD, her sudden libido
drop may be biological. Birth control
pills in particular are notorious for
upsetting the balance of hormones
that physiologically control female
sex drive, and this effect can take a
while to manifest. It's possible that
she should switch to a different brand
of pill, or use a non-hormonal method
altogether.   Some   pharmaceuticals
KASHA CHANG
S> AUSTIN HOLM
toosexy@ubyssey.ca
such as antidepressants and many
others can also have adverse effects
on sex drive. If your ladylove is taking
any of these, have her talk to a doctor
to see if anything can be done on that
front.
Lastly, psychological factors can
have a strong effect on desire. If your
girlfriend feels like there's an ele-
phant-in-the-room relationship issue
you two have yet to discuss, this could
manifest as decreased sex drive. Similarly, she may feel underappreciated,
or as though her sexual or emotional
needs are not met by you. Does she
have a fetish you don't know about
that might cause her to find the sex
you were having before unfulfilling?
This sounds unlikely, but it wouldn't
hurt to ask.
OPTION THREE Her lack of sex drive is
irrelevant and she's just not that into
you. Since you say eveiything else in
your relationship is great, this is the
least likely of the options, but nevertheless it bears consideration. If you
exhaust the other possibilities and
there's still no sweet lovin', it maybe a
sign that it's time for you both to move
on to greener pastures.
OPTION FOUR: Aliens stole her sex
drive. Travel to Pluto and rescue it
from them. Good luck and dress
warmly.
A FINAL FEW WORDS, FL Since your
sexlessness issue is a fairly recent
development, it may be productive to
revisit the past. Maybe just have a talk
about the things that used to turn you
on, what you liked about each other.
What physical feature, personality
quirk, or sexy game originally turned
her crank for you? Relearn each others' bodies and study hard: God willing, there'll be an exam soon. Good
luck. We hope you get an A+, or better
yet, an 0.
That's all, folks. Send your raj
redactions to toosexy©ubyssey.ca. '
■■STREETERS
What are you doing for Halloween and what will you dress up as?
Daisy Duck.J'm
going on the HKin
boat cruse.J'm
wearing yellow
leggings and a...
skirt and a big
bow on my head
basically.
■^1
Li
Michael DeMaria
Arts3
I'm on the UBC
Improv team and
we've been invited
to perform....l don't
have a costume...
Once I spent nearly
$130 to painfully
recreate the original
Flash costume,
because I'm a nerd
and that's something I would do.
Chloe Tashlin Fluegel
Science 2
A cheetah
costume.Jt's a
dress, a halter
dress, short, has
a cheetah pattern,
and I have ears....
[I'll probably go]
out and around,
somewhere
downtown maybe.
Mchael Cooper
Artsl
I'm dressing as
Kanye West and
so I'm just going
to go and interrupt
a bunch of people
and [say], "Excuse
me, his costume
is so much more
awesome than
yours." And just
do that for the
entire night.
-Coordinated by Tara Martellaro with photos by Chibwe Mweene
I'm in a Fraternty,
so we're throwing a
little house party for
some friends....! was
looking through the
internet and there
was a costume
of the Shocker, I
thought that was
pretty funny
VIRGINIE MENARD GRAPHIC/THE UBYSSEY
EDITORIAL
HINl-safe costumes
Halloween is almost upon us, and we all know what that means: massive
H1N1 breakouts. So, before you start sodomizing, keep in mind that Sexy
Cat Girl may have a meowtated pig disease.
Swine flu ruins everything, from beer pong to putting strange things in
your mouth. But while you can't be entirely safe, you can be safer. How,
you ask? It's all in the costume.
Take Sexy Cat Girl: a plague magnet with all that exposed skin. Not
only is this a high-risk costume, but an unrealistic one as well. Cats don't
have exposed skin, they have fur, and your costume should too. This
year, cover that bikini with a full-body cat costume. You'll be furry (some
people like that) and nearly plague-proof. Now that's what we at The Ubyssey call a purriect costume.
But whatever you decide to dress up as, make sure, at the very least,
those hands are gloved. At all costs. You know that condom sitting in your
wallet? Tonight, you'll finally get to use it, as you snap on your makeshift
latex gloves.
And for our more altruistically-inclined readers, we've got another
great costume recommendation: Walking Soap Dispenser. Assuming
you're not partying in the SUB, your venue probably doesn't have soap
dispensers strewn throughout. That's where you come in—as Walking
Soap Dispenser, defender of hygiene, arch-nemesis of pig disease.
Squirt your gooey white liquid all over everybody—with a big smile and a
thumbs-up. You'll be the hero of the party.
Lastly, if you've gotta fuck, do it through a hole in a sheet.
Christian groups on
campus very active
We were going to write an editorial about the lack of bzzr gardens on campus
because, well, we like bzzr, and there should be more of it flowing around
UBC. But with Halloween coming up, there are a decent number of parties
happening, so it's hard to criticize y'all. So props, UBC, for having fun on the
hedonist's Christmas.
And props to the Engineering Undergraduate Society (EUS). You have
it together. You have events that people can go to. That is good.
Same goes for the CVC. You folks do OK, despite your obsession with
oblong yellow fruits. We all have our hang-ups.
But, really, the most props of all go to...wait a second, do I believe my
eyes? The campus Christians?
That's right, folks, the most regularly active people seem to be the
Christian organizations on campus. The United Church especially. There
are regular bible study meetings, meditation groups, debates and worship services. Any student is welcome.
There is a Christian event of some sort listed on UBC events every day
of the week, except Saturday. Often there are more than one listed.
We all know that the Eucharist is not for getting smashed, so they
probably are not drinking as much as we would hope. But as community
organizers and in their outreach, they are sure beating the rest of us
secular types.
In fact, they are doing better in the art scene as well. In front of the
Vancouver Art Gallery, where it is free to perform, they will be dancing
their hearts out to bring their message home.
So you may think they're crazy. You may hate the idea of religion. You
may dismiss them as zealots. But right now, they're dancing more, and
partying harder than you. Just in a different way. vl 

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