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UBC Publications

UBC Publications

The Ubyssey Sep 10, 1993

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Array theUbyssey
Where to get
help dealing
to with stress
Critics challenge campus cowboys
by Graham Cook
The UBC administration has
begun a policy of intimidation to
remove protestors from the proposed site of a new NRC building
on the North side of campus.
Early Friday morning UBC
campus security accompanied two
loggers onto the site. Protestors
from the Coalition Opposed to the
University Plan (COUP) were
there to meet them.
The loggers attempted to cut
deadfall and may have been
starting to cut live trees when the
protestors moved in. The close
proximity of protesters meant that
the loggers couldn't fall any trees.
Campus security came back a
few hours later to tell the protestors—many of them UBC students—that they were trespassing
on UBC property. One campus cop
videotaped the protestors "for
possible use in legal proceedings."
Those legal proceedings will
be coming soon, according to Board
of Governors student representative Michael Hughes.
"The UBC administration's
legal counsel went to a Crown
prosecutor, who said that the administration should pursue an injunction against the protestors,"
Hughes said.
"If the protestors were arrested under the injunction, it
wouldlead to criminal charges and
a criminal record if they were
convicted, similar to whafs happening in Clayoquot Sound," he
At press time there was no
information on whether or not the
injunction had been obtained.
While the siting of the NRC
building seems to be a done deal
and legal sanctions are just around
the corner, most of the protestors
refuse to give up.
"I live about 6 blocks away
from here, and Fve lived here since
I was 6 years old. I love these
woods, and I want to save them,"
said Trillium Waters.
"Ill be here till they kick me
off," said Binke, a longtime COUP
protestor. Clad in loose sweatpants
andablack sweatshirt, Binke said,
Tm already dressed for jail."
The administration is frustrated with the continuingprotests.
"We've eliminated the East
Mall extension, we've reduced the
number of trees which will be cut—
what more do the protestors want?"
asked David Gregg, the manager
of Engineering Services at UBC
and the person in charge of logging
the proposed NRC site.
"We compromised on all their
outstanding issues, but the protestors are still here and they refuse
to enter into any further dialogue,"
Gregg said.
"We feel their ultimate goal is
to stop all development in this
area," he said.
COUP protestors disagree.
"We met a number of times
with the NRC, the UBC planning
department, and many others to
try and find a satisfying solution,"
said Aaron Cantor, a COUP protestor who has been on the site for
over three months.
"There have been so many
turnarounds in their decisions that
it's almost impossible to trust what
they say they're doing now," Cantor said.
"There are a large number of
healthy trees on the site. There
will be far more than 100 trees
taken out," Cantor said, referring
to the number Gregg said would be
Reporters from many of the
media outlets present at the site
on Friday morning questioned the
legitimacy of the protest, saying
that most of the trees slated to be
cut are either second growth evergreen or ten to twelve-year old
cherry and alder trees.
The protesters think those
questions are missing the point.
"This is just about the largest
urban forest in Canada. With the
pollution levels getting to levels
where the GVRD is telling people
not to use their cars, it seems crazy
that we're cutting down one ofthe
largest urban lungs there is,"
Cantor said.
The second growth forest "is
wilderness, and as such has its
own right to exist," Binke said.
"It creates a wildlife corridor
between the ocean woods and Pacific Spirit Park. Ifs a very exuberant forest for an urban park,"
he said. "There's lots of winged life
and ground creatures which are in
For other protestors, the lack
of public process in planning the
site keeps them there.
Tm here because Fm worried
about how [UBC President David]
Strangway has been operating for
the last few years," said Christine
Stewart, who has been working
with COUP since the beginning of
the summer.
"The Campus Plan decisions
heavily affect the community. I
live behind Hampton Court, and I
moved there because I felt my
children need to be surrounded by
green space. There are roads
around the area but not through
it," Stewart said.
The "safe space" her children
require is threatened by the
Campus plan,, she said.
As for the future ofthe protest,
Stewart was unsure.
"I don't know what they're
doing now. They seem to be playing head games."
Tree talk
English Buchanan Blues
by Roger Wiebe
Widespread cuts in the number of classes offered in the English
Department have left students
confused and outraged.
Faced with increasing costs
and a frozen budget, the English
department has cut 33 per cent of
the classes offered for the 1993-94
school year.
This is not a recent phenomena and has both faculty and students concerned about the state of
the department.
"The university is not providing enough faculty to meet [the
student's] needs," said Herbert
Rosengarten, head of the English
In fact, over the last decade
the number of faculty members
has decreased from 85 to 67, yet
the number of students the department services has remained
about the same. What this means
is overcrowded classes and overworked professors. This year alone
nine professors retired and the
department had only enough in
their budget to hire one new
Many courses listed in the
TELEREG guide are not being offered because they were cut three
months after the deadline for submissions to the guide. Thus, many
students with their planned c ourse
schedules discovered on their registration day that the courses they
assumed would be available were
no longer being offered.
The frustration with both
TELEREG and the English Department coul dbeseeninthe anxi -
ety-ridden faces of students
pleading with professors to admit
them to their courses.
Third year English major
David Little said, "a number of
classes that were listed in the
TELREG book were actually cancelled when I showed up to the
class. The whole experience was
very confusing and muddled."
One perplexed first year student gave up trying to register for
courses because she was told "not
to bother" using TELEREG.
The English department relies on a number of sessional instructors to teach lower level
courses. There were one-third less
instructors hired for the'93-94
academic year, requiring existing
professors to admit more students
into their classses.
UBC president David
Strangway said in a recent issue of
UBC Report that undergraduate
education is a priority. Yet the loss
of so many classes in the English
Department alone has caused
many people to be critical of
Strangway's commitment to the
Faculty of Arts, which does not
bring in the huge number of research dollars than other faculties
Rosengarten however does not
completely support that position.
"You cannot point a finger, but I
feel that it is the responsibility of
the minister of education to provide services at at a public university."
Although the department is
attempting to accomodate as many
students as possible, the outlook is
not very promising. The Department has been told by the dean of
Arts, Pat Marchak., who was unavailable for comment, that the
cuts will continue.
by Tanya Stoir
Julie Ann McGeorge and
Aaron Cantor spent what most
people would consider an unusual
summer. Since June 15, they have
been sitting in trees in the forest
bordering W.16th Ave. and East
Mall to protest plans to develop the
For Julie Ann and Aaron, tree-
sitting has involved living in platforms 120 feet off the ground,
reached by climbing a rope aided
by a special prussic knot. The
platforms are equipped with donated food, books, minor medical
supplies, and sleeping bags.
The protest site is like a child's
but this is for real.
Tree-sitting contains a strong
element of risk, as the activists
could be seriously hurt should
logging take place near their platforms. The tree-sitters also have to
be very careful when climbing the
"It takes 15 minutes to get
up," says Julie Ann. "It's not hard
but ifs scary."
Julie Ann and Aaron have
trained 30 people to climb trees
this summer, and there have been
8 part-time sitters helping them at
the site, as well as lots of support
on the ground. The UBC site holds
the distinction of being the first
urban direct action tree-sit in
Passersby have been largely
supportive, but the tree-sitters
have received some unfriendly
comments such as "Oh look, ifs the
last stage of evolution. You're back
up in the trees, are you?"
Although Julie Ann and Aaron
agree that it has been a positive
summer, tree-sitting does have its
minor annoyances. For one thing,
the weather can be uncooperative.
Aaron had a miserable first day.
"We went up in one of the
biggest lightning storms
Vancouver has ever seen. I got
really soaked and almost got hypothermia."
Julie Ann says the rain doesn't
bother her, as the canopy acts as
an umbrella, but she does dislike
the sap that sticks to her arms and
is nearly impossible to scrub off.
Fighting with the squirrels
over food supplies has also been
entertaining. According to habit,
the squirrels find their food in trees
and throw it to the ground to collect later. Food on the tree-sitters'
platforms has been fair game.
Aaron still laments the loss of some
precious chocolate, and Julie Ann
insists the squirrels eat soap.
Despite these small complaints, the two activists are very
positive about tree-sitting. They
say the view above the canopy is
exceptional andlivingin the woods
has been great. Their neighbours
have been Great Horned owls,
Pileated woodpeckers, flying
squirrels, and racoons.
Julie Ann and Aaron believe
that tree-sitting is a very useful
"Ifs a totally non-violent form
of expression. It's very effective
and very difficult to get around,"
says Aaron.
"When you care about something enough to sit in a tree for 3
months, people notice." THE UBYSSEY Classifieds
Rates: AMS Card Holders - 3 lines, $3.15; additional lines 63 cents. Commercial - 3 lines, $5.25; additional lines 80 cents. 10% discount on 25
issues or more. Classified ads payable in advance. Deadline: 3:30 pm, two days before publication date. Advertising office: 822-3977.
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Modem 2400 $70, Image Writer II
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Enter offBlenheim. Stereos, furn.,
dishes, toys, sports stuff.
RAM, 31 MB hard drive, DOS 5.0,
WP 5.1, Ideal for word processing.
$490. Call Phil 433-7817.
1974 VALIANT, V6, auto, ps, 4 dr
80,000 ml, 2nd owner, good running cond. $750 obo. Call 327-
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1987 CHEVETTE, silver 4dr,
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80 OLDS CUTLASS BROUGHAM, rebuilt new eng, trans/front
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POLITICAL SCIENCE STUDENT hitchhikingin Port Alberni.
Left your camera in my car. Call
FURN BSMT SUITE near 41st,
UBC bus. $600. Ideal for stud.
Interested in p/t child care, cooking job, Mon, Tues, Thurs pm. 263-
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Require some garden work & 300/
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LRG FURN RM, female, 41st &
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30 - JOBS
be eligible for work study employment pgm.   Call Dan Perlman,
p/t & weekends. No exp. necessary. Ideally located in Kerrisdale.
Cal 263-7338.	
needed for small non-profit society. Individuals need experience
in counselling and group facilitation, knowledge of child development and parenting. Deadline for
applications September 27th, 1993.
Salary to commensurate with education and experience. Send resume to Information Children,
S.F.U., E.A.A. Room 2019,
Burnaby, B.C. V5A1S6.	
BABYSITTING p/t pos. open in
Kits, 2 kids, flexible hrs. 4 hrs
twice a week days, $6 an hr Pamela
35 - LOST
level SUB, one large, pink, fluffy
Kitzi. Last seen wandering around
on campus. CopyRight the place
for all your copying needs.
BEST-BUY CAR & TRUCK rentals. We gladly accept cash deposits. We make renting hassle free.
Ph. 261-2277 — 261-CARS.
portable motion detectors. Attaches
to doors and all belongings. Call
karen 241-1899 evenings.
strong guys with one ton van. No
job too small. We're cheaper than
you are. Rob 294-2727.
PROFESSIONAL typist, 30 years
exp., wd process/typing, APA/MLA,
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Room 60, SUB
Mon-Fri * 10-5
Drop in or call: 822-5640
Laser printing
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Phone 683-BIND.
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Today's CA's are very much in demand. The judgement they bring
to business planning makes them influential members of the business
community. Chartered Accountants come from a wide variety of
backgrounds. They have degrees in Arts, Sciences, Law, Education,
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If you would like to discover the key to a multitude of exciting
career opportunities, please join us for an informal information session Tuesday, September 21, 5:00 to 7:00 p.m., Faculty Club
Ballroom, U.B.C, 6331 Crescent Road, Vancouver.
At this event, the CA Education Foundation will provide details of
a new scholarship program. Ten GAP scholarships of $2,000 each are
available to highly qualified university graduates or persons entering their
final year of university who enter the Graduate Admission Program.
To RSVP, or for more information, contact Ken Ruffelle at the
Institute of Chartered Accountants of British Columbia at 681-3264.
Tuesday, September 21
5:00 -7:00 p.m.
Faculty Club Ballroom, U.B.C.
6331 Crescent Road, Vancouver
RSVP: Ken Ruffelle, 681-3264
of British
. Columbia
Advertise your groups' on
campus event in the Ubyssey
Campus Calendar. Submission forms are available at the
Ubyssey office, SUB 241K.
Submisssions for Tuesday's
paper must be in by Friday at
3:30 pm, and submissions for
Friday's paper must be in by
Wednesday at3:30pm. Sorry,
late submissions will not be
accepted. Note: "noon" is
12:30 pm.
Tuesday. September 14
Student Women's Action Committee. Women's coffee house, free
coffee & treats. 11 am - 2 pm,
Roomer's Pub, Grad Stud. Ctr.
Wednesday. September 15
Spartacus Youth Club. Demonstration: "Drop the charges against
the May 6 anti-fascist protesters!"
Sponsored by the UBC Friends of
the Trotskyist League Club. Noon,
SUB South Plaza. For info, call the
SYC at 687-0353.
Ubyssey Arts & Features deadline.
Submit by 4:30 pm, SUB 241K
Thursday. September 19
Ubyssey copy deadline. Submit by
12:30 pm, SUB 241K.
Ubyssey production for Friday
issue-daytime production.
Monday. September 20
National Party of Canada. Lecture, Prof. Froschauer & Dr. Willy
Spat to talk on "Waterfalls: the
Defence of Canadian Sovereignty."
Sub Room 112, noon.
SUB renovations shaft student clubs
by Gregg McNally
The AMS have put up the
renovation zone sign in the SUB
Roger Watts, director of administration explained the new
One of the biggest, and most
obvious changes is the birth ofthe
Pendulum restaurant. Taking the
place of Tortellini's, which died an
early death this summer, is the
Pendulum, which is very similar
in style to the privately-run Delly
just twenty feet down the hall.
Roger said about Tortellini's,
"As a business operation it just
wasn't pulling its weight."
The .AMS Word Process-zing
(sic) lab has been given a face-lift
and is getting a self-serve section
installed. The old services will
still be available, but the budget-
minded or those with keyboard
fetishes can now type out their
own pieces.
Watts stated that the total
renovations ofthe SUB would cost
roughly a quarter of a million dollars.
Watts sai d that the money will
come out of the Capital Projects
Acquisitions Commission (CPAC)
fund or the general operating
budget. The CPAC is a fund that
sets aside money from the students
for the students. About $410,000
comes from student fees each year.
"The AMS has lots of money
stored away," Watts said with a
The club offices are being
juggled around which will result
in the addition of ten new offices
and another big party room. The
club offices in SUB 216 will be torn
down to make room for a new party
room that can be rented out.
Sixteen offices will be jammed
into the sites formerly occupied by
the AMS used bookstore.
Gordon Thrift, a third year
history student and a member of
the UBC Wargaming Society is
not happy about the the clubs being crammed into three small
"It's going to cause a lot of
problems for us and the Parachute
Club." He said that the offices will
be too small for the clubs to function properly.
A few ofthe clubs in SUB 216
started a petition to stop the move
downstairs, but Gordon says the
AMS turned a blind eye.
"They completely ignored the
petition. We asked them to come
down and see that the club offices
were too busy already but they
only came early in the morning,"
he said.
Gordon says that with the
small offices downstairs, clubs
must book ahead to have a meet
ing. He also said that this was the
AMS' way of making up for the lost
revenue from unofficial meetings
being held in SUB 216.
The Pendulum is already open
and Word Process-zing will be open
next week. The shuffling aroundof
the club offices will take place over
the next coup>le of months. When
asked if the club offices would be
renting the proposed ballroom in
SUB216, Gordon saidthatitwould
be too costly.
He said that only corporations
like the General Motors of Canada
College (they are presently renting
one of theoffices for seminars)could
afford the proposed $900 a day fee.
"Personally, I feel ifs a shaft," said
Wimmin reclaim the streets in downtown rally
by Noelle Fraser
Take Back the Night, a march
and rally to end violence against
women, will take place this year on
September 24,1993.
The demonstration is a forum
for women to express their rage at
men who sexually abuse women; to
go public with women's anger toward male violence; to show that
women are fighting back and organizing everywhere; and to state
womens' rights to self-determination and liberty.
Vancouver Rape Relief
Women's collective, which organizes the yearly march, encourages
everyone to speak out against male
violence, sexism and racism. Although the actual march is open
only to women, both men and
women are welcome to come out
and show support by cheering the
marchers on. Men who are interested in participating are encouraged to provide child care if necessary.
The march takes place on what
is symbolically the only nig'ht that
women can safely walk the streets
by Sara Martin
Some see it as a boon for the
environment, others as an assault
on their convenience. However you
look at it, students have lost 1300
UBC parking spaces to construction over the summer.
Tocompensatefor these losses,
UBC Parking and Security has
estimated that about 1100 spaces
will be replaced—although where
those spaces are and how they will
be replaced gets a bit confusing.
Roger Watts, AMS Director of
Administration, claims that BC
Transit can accomodate the commuters who would previously have
filled the remaining 200 spots.
In one ofthe B-lots, where the
new Thunderbird residence is now
under construction, 200 spaces will
remain and be designated carpool
According to Watts, "these 200
car pool spots will replace 600 cars
coming onto the campus. This reduces the deficit of 1300 by 400
The AMS runs a carpool
regristry that will match students
up (using postal code listings) with
other commuters who live in the
same area.
Watts plans to install this
computer system in the business
office where students will be able
to use it without assistance. This
unit should be in place in a couple
atnight—thatis, together inalarge
"Reclaim the Nighf in 1978
was the first organized march
against street and other forms of
violence in Vancouver. In 1981, the
Canadian Association of Sexual
Assault Centres organized the first
coordinated North American demonstration, held in more than 35
cities in Canada and the US.
Vancouver Rape Relief has since
then staged an annual Take Back
the Night march, inviting women
to express their anger together,
and in public.
Last year more than 1400  Vancouver Art Gallery at 7:30 pm
women took part in Take Back the  or call Vancouver Rape Relief at
Night. Other centres in BC. that 872-8212 for more info	
also participate in Take Back the
Night include Maple Ridge, Prince
George, Fort Nelson, Victoria,
Nanaimo, Kelowna, Penticton,
Vernon, Kamloops and Cranbrook.
This march is designed to be
an event where women unite, connect with one another and have fun
together while fighting for a common goal: to END violence against
All women are invited to participate and should meet at the
KAON: No political football
of weeks, Watts said.
In order to register for a car
pool lot, Parking and Security requires at least three people, each
with their own driver's license,
student number and vehicle registration.
Mark Fanning is a parking
kiosk attendant at lot B-3, which
lost half its parking space to the
construction of a research facility.
He says that by 8:20 a.m. Ms Yull
lof sign is out.
Cars that enter B-3 lot in the
morning are usually occupied only
by the driver.
"Between 9:30 and 12:00
people begin to leave, however ifs
one in, one out," Fanning said.
"What I can't understand is
why more people don't use the
carpool Dot] because those lots don't
get full" he said.
200 additional spots will also
be available in lot B-3, along with
100 temporary spaces in B-7.
However all these spots are temporary and conditional on future
construction plans. They may be
converted to residence parking
when the new residence buildings
are completed.
While the number of parking
spaces decrease, prices are on the
increase. The UBC Board of Governors approved a 30 percent
parking fee hike last March 25th.
The increase became effective on
By Rick Hiebert
Kim Campbell was correct not
to make KAON funding a possible
issue in the federal election, according to Erich Vogt.
Vogt is the director ofthe UBC-
based TRIUMF scientific facility,
the site where the KAON federal-
provincial subatomic particle
physics research project is slated
to be built.
Vogt said the project will be
launched in the next six months.
Campbell told the press last
week that funding for the project
would not be announced during
the election. Such funding, she
added, would be inconsistent with
her campaign's attempt to portray
the Tories as fiscally prudent.
In 1991, the federal government promised $236 million in
matching funds to help subsidize
the project. However, the federal
and the provincial governments
have been arguing about who will
pay annual operating costs esti
mated at $100 million. Ifs estimated that millions of dollars
worth of spin off benefits will accrue to UBC and B.C. industry.
B.C. Finance Minister Glen
Clark believes Campbell's statement is an ill omen. He thinks her
stance infers the government plans
to cut their funding to the project
after the election.
TRIUMF director Vogt, for his
part, is confident despite
Campbell's announcement.
"It would have been inappropriate for her to make KAON into
a political football," he said. "This
is something that all politicians
should support."
"Ifs not necessarily a question of'Can a government afford to
carry a project like KAON on ifs
books in tough economic times?*
but rather 'Can a country wanting
to remain strong in research and
development afford not to pursue
this project?"*
The U.S., Japan and 17 European countries spend more per
capita on research and development than Canada does, so projects
like KAON are necessary, he said.
The project will be partly
funded by foreign contributions.
Some of the contributions will be
in-kind, with foreign governments
providing necessary parts and
components such as high power
magnets. A similar arrangement
tried by a West German subatomic
research facility in the 1980s
worked well, so Vogt is confident
that the contributions will come
Vogt added that negotiations
between the federal government
and other governments interested
have been proceeding well and a
deal to have the foreign governments pay up to a third of the
construction costs could be struck
next year. The B.C. and federal
governments would then be better
able to cover the $708 million
needed for the operating costs of
the KAON project for the first six
years of its research..
September 1st of this year.
For those who can afford to
buy, the new west I will be selling
400 student spots for $280 apiece.
Watts said there are many
reasons students should find other
methods of getting to campus, including aircare and health.
"Students can bike or roller
blade," Watts said.
To deal with the parking
shortage on campusmany students
have been leaving their cars outside
the university gates, off of Tenth
Avenue, and from there either bus,
walk or hitchhike into campus.
If you're upset, don't blame
David Miller, the manager of
parking and security.
"I have nothing to do with new
"I do as well as I can with what I've
Parking: get K where you can And It.
Taking a glance at Council briefs
by Omar Kassis
AMS Council got off to a heated
start with its first meeting last
Wednesday Sept. 8th. around the
giant egg-shaped table in SUB 208.
After introducing themselves and
dealing with housekeeping matters, council members jumped right
into what promises to be the contentious topic of the month: allocating the space in SUB concourse.
Roger Watts, AMS Director of
Administration, began the discussion with the rare gesture of
apologizing for the way the executive have handled the situation so
far. A highly charged and sometimes bitter discussion followed.
The student Ombudsoffice is
being revamped and a whole host
of other changes are planned as
well. The executive intend to reallocate rooms in SUB to the various
student organizations that use
them, putting what they consider
the most essential ones in the
highly accessible main floor concourse.
But many students disagree
with the executive's priorities.
Members ofthe Student Environment Centre were particularly
upset about the changes, which
will see their active and highly
visible office in the concourse
bumped to a smaller, less accessible
space in the basement or on the
second floor. They did not find out
•about the new plan until a day or
two before the meeting, and were
angered about having to move and
reorganize their offices so quickly
before Clubs Days.
Representatives of Joblink
and Volunteer Connections, who
will benefit from the reallocations,
spoke about their need for high
visibility in these times when
students have such difficulty finding work.
But all groups expressed this
need for space and accessibility,
and the debate turned into a fight
over who deserved the space more.
Council was left with a subjective
decision about what services and
resources it most needs to provide
to students.
The motion was finally tabled
until the next meeting, with most
council members exhausted by the
debate. The five members of the
executive seemed to be more aware
ofthe circumstances than the rest
ofthe half-informed and half-committed council.
A last minute addendum to
the agenda was a motion by
graduate student representative
Scott Hayward for the AMS to
stop advertising in publications
not under the jurisdiction of its
own Publications Board. President
Bill Dobie spoke out strongly
against this motion, claiming accessibility to all students was more
important than the need for council
to subsidize the papers it publi shes
for students.
Hayward argued that student
Take Transit to
UBC and be a
Roads Scholar.
Smart students take
transit to campus for
some very intelligent
reasons. Speed,
affordability and
convenience are
built right into BC
Transit's integrated bus,
SkyTrain and SeaBus network. And many campus
bound routes are wheelchair accessible. Better still,
transit is green, so you can
help to reduce auto emissions on the road to higher
A Quick Course
In Economics
You can pay as you go, or pay in
advance with either FareSaver tickets
or a monthly FareCard FareSavers
are available for One, Two, or Three
Zone travel, in money-saving
booklets of 10 tickets. But, if you
take more than 20 rush-hour trips
per month, then FareCards are for
you. FareCards are transferable, and
when used with Fast Trax become
even more economical.
Take the Fast Trax
To Higher Education
Fast Trax is a transit strip that you
affix to your student I.D. It upgrades
a One-Zone FareCard to allow you
all-zone travel, all day, any day.
Your Fast Trax photo I.D. is nontransferable and your campus may
levy a nominal service charge for
Fast Trax transit strips are available at
most student union associations,
where you'll also find FareCards,
FareSaver tickets and system
timetables. Passes and tickets are
also sold wherever you see the
"FareDealer" sign and timetables are
available at public libraries, city and
municipal halls, chambers of
commerce and Travel InfoCentres.
Choose Your Route
To Higher Learning
Here is a complete list of transit
service to the UBC campus, including
routes that will be extended or
mproved on September 6
From West Vancouver
board #258 for direct peak period
service to UBC
From North Vancouver
board #286 for direct peak period
service to UBC. In addition, during
the a.m. peak period, the #85 service
provides an express connection with
SeaBus sen/ice, from Waterfront
Station to UBC.
From Downtown
board #4 on Granville Mall or #10 on
Hastings or Granville Mall for
freguent service to UBC.
From SkyTrain
board #9 or #31 express at Broadway
Station for service to UBC
Within Vancouver
board #4, 9, 10, 25, 31, 41, 49 or 85
for direct service to UBC. Wote that
#10,31 and 85 operate as express
services along portions of their
From Richmond
board #480 for direct peak period
service to UBC or any Vancouver
service to Granville and 41 st Ave.
and transfer to the #41 UBC.
9:00 p.m.-5:00 a.m.
From Ladner and South Delta
board any Vancouver service to
Granville and 41st Ave. and
transfer to the #41 UBC.
From North Delta, Surrey,
White Rock, Langley, New
Westminster and South
board any bus to SkyTrain and
connect at Broadway Station with
#9 or #31 express for service to
From Coquitlam, Port Coquitlam,
Maple Ridge and Port Moody
board any Vancouver service to
Downtown Vancouver and connect
with the #4 or #10 UBC.
From North Burnaby
board any local service to Kootenay
Loop and connect with the #10
Look For These
Changes in Service
Effective Sept. 6
#9 Boundary/Alma/UBC
Midday service will be extended to
UBC with the start of Fall classes
#25 Brentwood/UBC
Peak period routing to UBC will
resume with the start of Fall classes
Peak period service will revert to
regular Fall frequency
#31 Broadway Station/UBC
Peak period service to UBC will
revert to regular Fall frequency with
the start of Fall classes
#49 Metrotown Station/UBC
Peak period routing to UBC will
resume with the start of Fall classes
Peak period service will revert to
regular Fall frequency.
#85 Downtown/UBC
The #85 route will resume with the
start of Fall classes.
#258 West Vancouver/UBC
#286 North Vancouver/UBC
Peak period service to UBC will
resume with the start of Fall classes.
#480 Steveston/UBC
Peak period service to UBC will
resume with the start of Fall classes.
Transit Information 261-5100
On September 6, 1993, BC Transit will begin a six-month Request Stop trial on all Lower Mainland routes, except for Express
and limited stop sections. Request Stop allows you to get off the bus along the route when travelling at night, so that you have
a shorter, safer walk to your destination. Here is how Request Stop works:
• Ask your driver for a "Request Stop" at least one bus stop before the location at which you wish to get off the bus.
• Your driver will find the safest spot near your location.
• Once the bus has come to a stop, you must leave via the front doors. Please look out for bicycles which may pass the bus on
the right-hand side
NOTE: Passengers using the wheelchair lift must leave the bus at accessible stops only, due to equipment requirements Please
remember that your driver is a trained professional and in the interest of passenger and vehicle safety, may be unable to stop as
requested. All stops are granted at the discretion of the individual driver.
money spent on ads in papers
which are in competition with official student papers would go off
campus instead of supporting
students. Student Board of Governors representative Mike Hughes
But the question was called
by weary members before the other
nine members on the speakers'
list had a chance to voice their
opinion. Haywards motion was
almost unanimously defeated, in
time for everyone to go home.
Student council meetings are
open to all UBC students, and
take place every other Wednesday
in SUB 208. They are a great place
to watch the political machine in
action, and to join discussion on
topics of interest to students.
CiTR: Bringing
the world to UBC
BC Transit &
by Sara Martin
Just a few years after going
high power, UBC's campus radio
has gone international.
CiTR i s now broadcasting BB C
international news.
Ian Gunn, host ofthe recently
revived CiTR morning show, tops
off every hour (6,7 & 8 am) with
BBC news. "We want to increase
the accessibili ty to our news," Gunn
The BBC brings international
news that is not sensationalist or
tacky to compliment campus and
local news programming, Gunn
In between the BBC news,
Gunn broadcasts news gathered
by the CiTR news staff.
The morning show, which airs
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and
Friday, prides itself in covering
issues not generally dealt with in
mainstream media. Gunn admits,
however, that BBC reporters, "do
not tread the byways of unreported
However the broadcast has
proved popular on other campus
radio stations.
In Ottawa, Carleton
University's student radio station's
broadcast of BBC international
news ranks third in listenership
behind the CBC and a rock show.
CiTR's is the only BBC
broadcast in Western Canada. It
receives it free by satellite dish
from the UBC communication
service direct from c-span.
"Ian just pushes a button"
explained Brian Weiser, host of
CiTR's show In the Ring.
That guy at CfTR.
The UBC Speakers Bureau has a work study
position available for an assistant to fill requests
for speakers during the period from Sept. 27,
1993 to March 31, 1994. A pleasant, helpful
phone manner is an asset.
WAGES: $10.98/hr; up to 10 hrs/week
Candidates should submit resumes by Sept. 20,
1993, 5:00 pm to the UBC Speakers Bureau,
Community Relations Office, Rm. 207, Old
Administration Bldg.
Candidates must be elegible for the
work study program TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 14. 1993
over loans
by Simona Chiose
TORONTO (CUP)—"The federal government is expecting private business to accept the losses
associated with the Canada Student Loan Program," says Rob
Callum, manager of personal loans
for the Toronto Dominion Bank.
"No private business should
have to accept that. Who in
their right mind would get into a
business to lose money?"
Callum works for one of the
many banks that bid for the
right to administer the loans program—and lost.
Callum is not pleased. And in
an unlikely meeting ofthe minds,
his opinion is shared not only by
the country's biggest banks—but
also by student advocacy groups.
At issue is the federal
government's proposal to turn the
running of the rapidly-growing
Canada Student Loans Program
over to commercial banks.
One ofthe proposal's key elements would eliminate the
studentloan guarantee andreplace
it with a "risk premium" which
would limit the number of loans
available using a formula based on
the number of loans currently
Student groups question the
philosophy of a proposal they say
woul d see banks' profits rise at the
expense of students' financial
needs and educational rights.
Combined with the elimination ofthe six month interest-free
period and the demise of grants,
they say the proposal is one more
step in the government's
privatization of higher education.
"Banks should not be able to
profit from students having to borrow money to pay for their education " says Carl Gillis, chair ofthe
Canadian Federation of Students.
"The banks are not going to take
this on unless they can make money
from it. Does this government believe in having a subsidized loan
program or not?"
In December 1992, the federal
government invited commercial
banks, trust companies and credit
unions to submit bids to finance
the loans program. By March, only
two banks, the CIBC and the Royal
Bank, were asked to continue negotiations with the government.
The bid request insists that
banks must provide services across
Canada. But many students could
be left without a loan centre in
their area.
"Geographically it only one or
two banks are handling it, there
couldbe problemsfor students who
don't have that bank in their area,"
says Deanne Fisher, liason officer
for the Association of Part Time
Students at the University of
The country's biggest administrator of the loan program, the
Bank of Montreal, submitted a bid
but was rejected. Compared to the
600 bank branch.ee now active in
administering student loans, having only two banks will deprive
students of the choice they have
been accustomed to.
.And that number could be
further reduced. In the bid
proposal, the government reserves
the right to negotiate an
"exclusive arrangement for the
Doan] portfolio", possibly
allowing one bank to monopolize
the student poverty market.
The CSL is not exactly a profit-
making venture for the
federal government, but as student
indebtedness grows, it is
turningintobigbusiness. In 1985,
only 589 students owed more than
$15,000 in loans. By 1992, over
6,000 were faced with repaying
that amount or more.
The banks which win the bid
will control a projected $4
billion market over the next five
years—and will probably be one of
the first banks students will deal
with. The banks see themselves
establishing a relationship with a
future affluent client.
"The student market is a very
important one for us," says Rob
McLoed, spokesperson for the
CIBC. "If we can provide students
with a good experience at the
Canada Student Loan level, as
people get older and move into the
job market, they will require more
banking facilities and hopefully
will stick with this bank."
Gillis, however, argues that
banks will try to be selective to
ensure minimum losses. He points
to one clause in the proposal which
allows banks to refuse loans to
students who "have an established
history of credit abuse."
"What does credit abuse mean?
It is still not defined
Banks could refuse those who had
bounced a check, or had trouble
making payments on a credit card.
Ironically this would weed out
those who really need the money."
"If a student passes the CSL
requirement, they may still have
to jump through a second hoop to
meet their banks' standards."
But Lauren Marcoux, spokesperson for the Secretary of State,
insists that determining eligibility
criteria will remain the sole responsibility ofthe federal government.
"Eligibility would still be determined by the government to
ensure lenders wouid still be provided loans without having to have
co-signers or submitting to any of
the other regulations usually expected in the consumer loan market."
Marcoux rejects the term
"privatization" to refer to the proposal. He says the initial aim ofthe
program established by the
Diefenbaken government in 1964,
to provide accessible post secondary education, will not be diluted.
"The program has always relied on the private sector* to
administer it. In the current
scheme, the government interferes
to insure that students who can't
otherwise get loans, do so. It is in
the students' best interests to establish a relationship with a bank
as it will give incentives to prevent
While** the default*, rsite on
Canada Student Loans i s currently
5.2 per cent, almost double the
consumer loan rate, the government argues that under the new
program the rate can be reduced to
4.9 per cent. According to seme reports, however, the banks have
countered with interest rates as
high as 30 percent a year, mostly to
cover default rates.
The banks' concern over defaults is ironic considering their
eagerness to capture future consumers. Fisher says that wlrile the
wealthy graduating student has
become a banker's dream, rates of
default have been exaggerated to
the detriment of students.
"What; is a default?" asks
Fisher. "As soon as a bank has a
letter returned they count that as a
default. So the banks declare a default and collect on their guarantee."
by NoeBe Fraser
Sexual Harassment on Campus
For those who are confused,
sexual harassment is defined as
unwanted sexual attention. This
definition includes suggestive
comments, pressure for sexual
contact, and rape. Sexist remarks,
jokes or images that create a hostile environment are also forms of
sexual harassment.
The statistics are familiar, not
to mention appalling.
At least one in four Canadian
women will be sexually assaulted
in her lifetime. Half ofthe female
respondents to recent surveys of
students at Canadian universities
report having experienced some
form of sexual harassment on
However, there is evidence
that leads one to believe that this
is a conservative estimate. According to a 1980 Canadian Union
of Public Employees study, 90% of
women experience sexual harassment in the workplace.
UBC is no exception to the
rule of sexual harassment. The fir st
example that springs to mind is
the Place Vanier catastrophe/
scan dal/fiasco/fuckup when women
received obscene letters threatening violence from some ofthe male
When, as a keen first year
Science student, I visited my
Chemistry professor to inquire
about a supplemental textbook, I
was disgusted and insulted when
his first words to me were: "What
can I do to you, oh, I mean for you?"
Another example is Lynne's
(not her real name) experience in
the basement of Main Library. On
March 8,1993 around 7:00 pm, a
man exposed his erect penis to her
while she was gathering books to
research. After thisincident, Lynne
was embarrassed, scared depressed and withdrawn.
Her schoolwork suffered because she found it difficult to sleep,
had nightmares and felt violated.
Lynne also felt helpless and vulnerable when, fearing for her
safety, she asked a male friend to
gather the books for her research.
Instead of allowing this kind
ot assault to continue, however,
Lynne has initiated action to prevent it from happening to her and
other women in Main Library
again. She is working with representatives from the Sexual Harassment Policy Office and security
officers to find ways to make the
Main Library a safer place for
Lynne has set up a meeting
with the security officer this
Thursday. One of the suggestions
she will make is a bulletin board in
the 1 ibrary foyer where descriptions
of harassers and where they were
encountered can be posted. Another is a 'safety alert* column in
the student press featuring essentially the same information as the
proposed bulletin board.
As well, Lynne will suggest a
volunteer patrol ofthe book stacks
with walkie-talkie contact with all
the exitattendants. The exits could
be sealed off in an leffort to contain
the harasser before he escapes.
Sexual harassmentisaserious
problem that affects students'lives
and quality of work. I hope that
with further effort on behalf of the
administration and UBC students,
we can set an example for other
Canadian universities by leading
the way to a safe, non-sexist campus.
Part Time Warehouse Jobs
United Parcel Service
Weare looking for dedicated, hardworking individuals to join the team
at U.P.S. These positions are permanent part time. Shifts are 3 to 5
hours/day, Monday through Friday. Starting times are early morning,
(4 a.m.) or evening (4 or 6 p.m.). Warehouse locationsare in Richmond
and Annacis Island. We offer $7.75/hr to start plus full benefit
These positions are ideal for students that are looking for a permanent
job throughout the year.
Applicants that enjoy working in a fast paced, physically demanding
environment, apply in person at:
U.P.S. Human Resources
205-483la Miller Road
Richmond, British Columbia
Monday thru Friday 7 a.m. to 7 p.m.
Student Representatives
Nominations are invited for
Student Representatives to the Faculty of Arts:
/~-| ^T IE REPRESENTATIVE from the combined major,
V_/ JL^I JCi honours, graduate, and diploma students in each
of the Departments and Schools of the Faculty of Arts.
Studen representatives are full voting members in the meetings of
the Faculty of Arts, and art* appointed to committees of Faculty.
Nomination forms are available from School and Department
Offices, the Dean of Art's Office, The Faculty Advisors Office, and
the Arts Undergraduate Society Office
Completed nomination forms must be in the hands of the relevant
Department/Schooi in the Faculty of Arts not later than 4:00 pm
Wednesday, September 29,1993.
NOTE: hi constituencies from which no nominations have been received
by the deadline there will be no representation.
REPRESENTATIVES from each of the First and
Secona veai Arts.
The future is in your hands
Are you:
• Caring, conscientious and self-motivated?
• Looking for professional and personal growth?
Consider a career in chiropractic...
• the third largest primary contact health care profession in
• a natural approach to health care.
The Canadian Memorial Chiropractic College is the
finest chiropractic college in Canada and offers a four-year
programme leading to a Doctor of Chiropractic Diploma.
Interested? Find out more by contacting:
The Registrar
Canadian Memorial Chiropractic College
1900 Bayview Avenue
Toronto, Ontario, M4G 3E6
Deadline for applications is December 31,1993 6     THEUBYSSEY News
Canadian    governments    repeatedly   ignore
by Graham Cook
Fewer research dollars, students plunged further into debt,
stressed-ou t professors with nearly
impossible workloads.
Thaf 8 the legacy of the last
nine years of Conservative government, according to Allan Andrews,
the President ofthe Canadian Association of University Teachers
Andrews, a professor of theatre at Dalhousie University, was
in Vancouver attending a conference this week. In a wide-ranging
interview he expressed the CAUTs
hopes for the coming federal election and their condemnation of
present government policy.
"Are the Tories willing to reverse their policies of running down
cash transfers to education and
health?" Andrews asked.
"We have larger classes and
professors working harder to teach
classes and get their research done.
There are fewer people to do more
work, and enrolment is expanding. The only alternative remaining, if funding patterns remain the
same, is to restrict accessibility to
otherwise qualified students."
"That's not a good way to pre-
Is your idea
of luxury
macaroni and
There's nothing wrong with a hearty serving of "Student Helper,"
but you should be able to afford some variety on your plate. That's
why you should check out Bank of Montreal's new Student Loan.
You can apply for a loan of up to $5,000 for each year of 5 years
of undergraduate study, up to $20,000 in total, and up to $10,000
for 2 years of post-graduate studies! You'll be taking advantage of
special student interest rates, and you just have to make interest
payments while you're still in school. You'll also get a quick answer
to your loan request.
To find out more, just drop by your nearest Bank of Montreal
branch. And while you're there, ask us how else we can ease
the pressure—a discount on day-to-day banking, special Bank of
Montreal MasterCard* cards, and more. You might find it easier
to balance your account and your meals.
Student Union Building
10th & Sasamat
4th & Alma
* Available to full-time students, entering any year of post-secondary education at a recognized Canadian community college
university, or polytechnical school. Bank of Montreal eligibility and credit requirements must be met. See your branch for
complete details." MasterCard is a registered trade mark of MasterCard International Inc. Bank of Montreal is a registered user.
Bank of Montreal
We're Paying Attention
pare for the twenty-first century,"
Andrews said.
Most of the problems surrounding post-secondary education
can be linked to funding.
"Neither the Liberals nor the
NDP will commit to restoring
funding to the level it was at before
the Tories. Only the NDP appear
to be willing to stop the erosion of
transfers," he said.
Knowledge for sale
Andrews also criticized the
lack of research funds provided by
the government, and the erratic
way in which those funds have
been promised.
"The major funding bodies
have many more qualified applicants than they can possibly fund.
Repeatedly under Mulroney both
parliamentary committees and
advisory bodies that he himself
appointed, have toldhimthatthere
should be at least a doubling of
research funding in Canada. That
just hasn't happened."
"At one point in 1992 [former
Minister of Finance] Don
Mazankowski promised an increase of 4% for research each year
for the next several years. That
statement was warmly welcomed
because it creates a sense of stability in funding."
"But in December they turned
around and took the 4% back,"
increasing the atmosphere of distrust, Andrews said.
Only one federal leader has
suggested they might change the
year-by-year system, according to
"[Liberal leader Jean]
Chretien has said he would sit
down with the provinces and establish "firm contracts', which is
certainly necessary as the provinces don't know what their funding is going to be from one year to
the next".
The government has tried to
cover its lack of public funding for
research by "offloading" research
to the private sector, Andrews said.
He points to the private pharmaceutical industry, which was recently further protected from competition by the extension of drug
patent legislation.
The trouble with private-sector research, accordingto Andrews,
is its narrow focus on turning a
"Private-sector research is tied
to particular research projects designed for particular commercial
advantages. Basic research is done
less and less, with more work being done on contract for specific
clients," Andrews said.
"It's turning universities into
a sort of red-light district."
There are alternatives to the
present system, Andrews suggested.
"It could be argued that it
would make more sense to establish sensible tax levels on the profits of individual corporations which
could then be directed to universities and not tied to individual companies," he said.
"It comes down to whether we
see knowledge as something
bought or something which should
be widely available to all Canadians".
Less funds equals more stress
The money crunch has had a
particularly negative effect on
Andrews' own constituency, university teachers.
"Teaching loads are increasing, both the number of students
per teacher and the number of
course hours to be taught. The
general feeling is that it's reach
the limit."
"There are definite signs of
stress, including an increased
number of breakdowns among
professors," Andrews said.
As one would expect, overworked teachers pass on problems
to their students.
"It is becoming more difficult
for professors to give attention to
individual students, so there is
more of an onus on the student to
seek out their own tutorials,"
Andrews said.
This is becoming increasingly
difficult, for reasons which won't
come as a surprise to most students.
"Students are taking on increasing workloads outside of universities. Their schedules are very
Despemtely seeking $mm
(who are desperately seeking $$$)
If you possess excellent verbal skills and enjoy
working in a fun atmosphere with other students
Participants who have had
chronic hepatitis B viral infection
for greater than 6 months are required for a study of a potential
new oral treatment. Participants
will receiveeither active treatment
or a look-a-like placebo containing
noactivedrug. All participants will
be required to have had a liver
biopsy within 12 months prior to
starting the study medication.
For more information about this
study please contact the UBC Infectious Diseases Clinic at 822-7565.
Paid participants required for
testing of a new topical agent to
treat facial cold sores. You must
get 3 or more outbreaks per year
with clearly defined warning
symptoms. Participants will receive
either active treatment or a look-
alike placebo cream, containing
no active drug. Please contact the
UBC Herpes Clinic.
822-7565 TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 14. 1993
higher  education
tight, and there's less time to call
on professors during their office
hours, since the students are too
busy at the local pizza store or
Eatons," Andrews said.
Student loans
Andrews and his organization
were not impressed with Kim
Campbell's recent announcement
of increased money for student
"The CAUT is not in favour of
increasing tuitionfees. Anincrease
in loan dollars is welcome, given
the fact of inflation, but it becomes
another barrier to accessibility."
"There are a lot of young people
who don't welcome the notion of
large debts, whoever's lending
them the money It drives them to
think of courses of study which
will get them high-paying jobs, not
jobs that the\ like or that are particularly suited to their abilities."
"The effect is to turn universities more into vocational schools,"
Andrews said.
Looking for answers
The CAUT is planning to publicize the major parties' stands on
post-secondary education well before the election date.
"We've issued questionnaires
to all the parties to find cut their
policies on specific issues, and well
be printing their answers in the
September issue ofthe CAUT bulletin," Andrews said.
"What we would hope is that
the new government would take a
more afirmative and postive approach to its responsibilities, both
through transfers to the provinces
and research dollars and through
supporting students directly
through a better student loan system," he said.
"Universities should be producing critical, intelligent-thinking people who will make Canada
a better place for everyone, not
just employers."
Staff Meeting
We need your skills: writers,
photographers, typesetters,
artists, production assistants,
any organized person out
there with time to kill.
We need your interest in
learning every facet of
newspaper production,
SUB 241k
• >
AMS SafeWalk program
Sunday • Mondoy • Tuesday • Thursday 5pm - 11pm
Wednesday • Friday • Saturday 5pm -1 am
(Walks subject to volunteer availability.)
AMS Support
a pledge WALK/RUN to benefit
Sunday, September 26, 1993
The Alma Mater Society has been issued a challenge to raise more funds per walker than any
other post-secondary institution. We want you to help us with that challenge.
Walker Kits are available at the Business Office (SUB 266).
Want more information? Contact Carole Forsythe, Coordinator of External Affairs, in SUB
250 at 822-2050. 8     THE UBYSSEY News
Local group protests Irish
by Paula Foran
There were more than welcoming speeches and Chicken
Cordon Bleu prepared at the reception for the Irish ambassador to
Canada, Antoin MacUnfraidh
(MacHumphrey) at the Point Grey
Golf Club on Monday night.
Members ofthe Irish Solidarity Committee and supporters
gathered to protest the Irish
government's human rights
The I.S.C. supports the United
Nations Human Rights
Commission's decision, last July,
to chastise the Irish government
for its emergency laws, extreme
oolice powers, denial of information
on abortion, censorship under section 31 of the Broadcast Act and
other violations.
The UN published written
comments from the hearings criticizing the government's laws and
police actions. They wrote that the
Emergency Powers Act, which allows for a seven-day police detention, "provides excessive powers to
law enforcement officials."
According to Phil Russell, a
member ofthe I.S.C., one example
of injustice is the case of the
Ballymurphy Seven, a group of
teens who were arrested two years
ago and now sit in Crumlin Road
Russell said they were convicted for Irish Republican Army
affiliated attacks after a confession made under torture at the
Castle Reagh Interrogation centre.
They had nojury.no rightto remain
silent, and were guilty because they
could not prove themselves innocent. The UN denounced the Special Criminal Court and the Diplock
Court for not recognizing civil
British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher's Broadcast Ban of
1988 also came under UN fire when
the law known as Section 31 was
described as infringing "upon the
freedom to receive and impart information under Article 19, paragraph 2, of the Covenant." This
law bans Sinn Fein, a legal political party in Ireland, or any Republican point of view, from the media.
The I.S.C. called for the
Broadcast Ban to be "scrapped."
Everything the world hears about
Ireland is filtered through British
military intelligence in Lisburn,
Northern Ireland, before reporters
can publish it, Russell said. Section 31 prohibits the broadcast of
anything deemed a "security
Russell started the committee
of Irish Canadians after the 1981
hunger strike in Ireland, after the
death of Bobby Sands and other
political prisoners of war.
His political views and others
who support them are banned in
Ireland. The committee wants to
remind the Ambassador that "the
Irish community and their supporters demand an immediate end
to these abuses."
In addition, Russell said the
Irish government is using the
RCMP to harass Irish Canadians.
He was shocked when RCMP officials ofthe national security investigation section stopped him for
questioning in a Vancouver nightclub.
Russell said he believes that
his name was given to the RCMP
after his visit to Dublin in May,
when he was stopped by two Irish
Special Branch officers outside a
Sinn Fein bookstore with his
brother, Robert.
An anonymous source from the
RCMP told a Vancouver Sun reporter that indeed Russell was
questioned because of incorrect
information given to them by the
Irish police.
e sure to
return or renew
your books
by the due date.
The Library has a new circulation system and
fines policy. Here's a guide to what's new:
circulation information
Self-service renewals
Self-service listing of items
you've signed out
Automatic fines for all
overdue materials
Fine rates are:
Regular loans
Reserve loans
Max. late fine
$1/hour to a
max. of $5/day
$30 per item*
*plus replacement fee for lost items
For more information about the Library's loan
policies, please pick up a copy of Guide to Loan
Regulations at any UBC Library.
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6200 University Boulevard, Vancouver, B.C., Canada V6T iz4 (604) 822-2665 Fax (604) 822-8.^92 TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 14. 1993
THE UBYSSEY Frinae Fest    11
Previous to the opening ofthe
Fringe Festival, I had occasion to
be wandering around the Fringe
offices. On one ofthe walls
someone had stuck up a sign
that read: "Theatre? Yeah, I saw
it on television, it's shitty."
Sadly enough, television is
about as close to live theatre as
many people get, which is a real
tragedy—pardon the pun—since
they miss out on the. pure
pleasure of watching something
like Ben Dudley's riveting
adaptation of The Collector.
The Collector
Fringe Festival 1993
playwright: John Fowles
Incunabula Company
until Sunday, Sept. 19
Dudley has neatly lifted the
two characters from the pages of
the book and onto the stage,
where the drab and obsessive
Ferdinand captures and pins the
beautiful Miranda, no longer
satisfied to collect only butterflies.
Susan Duerden is wonderful
as Miranda, as she strains
against her captor's net. And
Dudley, who said that he was
unsure of his ability to portray
Ferdinand, vibrantly assumes
his character's dark fixation with
the radiant beauty who consumes his soul.
The setting for The Collector
is a dank, windowless room in
Ferdinand's home, which led
Dudley to ask the festival
producers for a small venue to
enhance the feeling of confinement. So it is apt that the play is
running at the Vancouver little
Theatre—a dark, low-ceilinged
basement beneath Heritage Hall
(which is so dark that when the
lights go down, Dudley and
Susan joke about which prop will
attack them next.) They do
anything but stumble about,
From the dialogue to the
scene changes, the play is fluid
and tight, and heightened
tension is maintained throughout Definitely a highlight ofthe
Fringe, and well worth the few
dollars admission.
Dream of a
by Martin Jones
Whenever a play describes itself
as a "penetrating" and "highly
entertaining" exploration of a
"timeless" theme, it creates high
expectations. Such was the case
when I went to see The Caged
Dream at the Vancouver Fringe
Festival. Unfortunately, the play
did not at all live up to its billing.
I left the theatre very disappointed.
The Caged Dream
Fringe Festival 1993
Playwright: Edmundo Farolan
until Thursday, September 16.
The Caged Dream pits the
bureaucratic forces ofthe social
elite (represented by Soren
Kierkegaard) against the
religious exploiters of society
(represented by John Bosco). The
contest is for the control ofthe
common man (named "Fat
Canizo"). However, the object of
this "timeless" (read: incessant)
battle is quickly sacrificed and
forgotten as the elitist forces
turn on each other. With the
climax of tiie play being obvious
from the outset, the play must
rely on its script to keep the
audience interested. Unfortunately, the script is simple and
offers few surprises.
While there is an inevitable
progression towards the final
disagreement, this is more due to
the playwright's use of
unimaginative (and often
gratuitously violent) devices to
advance the plot than any
overriding sense of drama. Both
protagonists are prone to
irrational and ridiculous actions,
thereby undermining the play's
billing as an epic contest.
Despite the universal
relevance ofthe conflict depicted
in the play, the debate never
assumes such a proportion. With
little action or movement, a witty
dialogue is essential. With the
notable exception of
Kierkegaard's "Ode to Spring" in
the second scene, the script (once
again) falls short. The superficial
presentation of both the religious
and bureaucratic exploiters of
society fails to create any tension
between characters. Ironically,
the play itself exploits the
"common man"; For he is
presented as a simpleton who
can neither understand nor
contribute anything to the
debate between the elites. There
is nothing more than a facile
; juxtaposition of his complete
ignorance and the irrelevance of
: his exploiters.
Faced with a weak script,
| many ofthe actors fall into the
j trap of overacting. The dialogue
i between Kierkegaard and John
Bosco in the first scene quickly
degenerates into a cacophonic
yelling match as both actors try
to convince the audience that
they are truly outraged. The
performance ofthe actors is not
surprising given the millstone
placed around their necks by the
script. On the bright side,
■ Stephen Fink renders
' Kierkegaard in an Allan
Rickman-esque fashion. Although occasionally his manner-
' isms become annoying, his comic
panache manages to keep the
audience's interest. Unfortunately, he has little support from
Rob Banks-playing John Bbsco-
who admittedly has very little to
work with.
The final result is that the
audience is left feeling as though
the playwright, actors and
' producers were trying to sit on
the fence between the universality of the theme and the individuality of the personae involved. The outcome is that
neither the symbolism nor the
characters are adequately
developed. With so many plays to
| choose from at this year's Fringe
i Festival, I would recommend
l that you choose another.
by Keith Banerjee
A man clad in tattered
clothes comes onto the stage
dancing outrageously to audio
clips of television and radio. As
the music fades, he asks the
audience to dim the lights and
continue the music. Defeated, he
starts off the stage as a spotlight
illuminates his face.
"I was just leaving. Do you
want me to stay? Who's up
there?" he asks the source ofthe
light. The light is cut and the
theatre is filled with darkness,
as if in response.
Library Dogs
playwright Peter Eastwood
Pocket Lint Productions
until Sept.19
So begins Library Dogs,
written by Peter Eastwood and
directed by Nicholas Podbrey,
both recent graduates of UBC.
The story is acted out entirely by
one man, Paul Norman, who
JL j___»*m«w5*.         __ — ^
uses, Desides his costume, only
one prop—a small television set.
For sixty minutes, the
character tells his story of
childhood, marriage, fatherhood,
said psychological bankruptcy
behind confusion, rage, and
The story is told in a roughly
organized manner, filled with
diversions that seem to have
nothing to do with the train of
thought -' itil the diversion ties
back'       i story. The story
seems to De a compilation of
diversions, each complimenting
the other, adding layers of irony
and symbolism, providing an
accurate insight into the
character's life.
The trouble with this kind of
approach is that there was no
central premise, no principal
theme onto which these clever
diversions could hang. It seems
the production was presented as
a collection of many related
stories, but not as a story in
itself. _
In a gruff voice and shuffled
movements, the character tells
us of his father, a man whom he
still fears, and of a blind woman
he knew as a child, who liked to
sit in front ofthe TV only to
listen to it. He tells of his
precious daughter, to whom he
would play the television with
the sound off.
He tells us how he liked to
drive a cab so he could act the
part ofthe driver. He tells us of a
weeping woman with whom he
drives around aimlessly only to
chase after her in a downpour.
He tells us how he liked traffic
lights because they told him
where to go.
He tells us about knots, how
tangled relationships can
become, how his daughter
became harder as she grew. He
tells us how she appeared
through the glass in the hospital,
"so soft, so small, not hard yet."
He tells us about dogs at the
library, how they're always
jumping at the window for their
owners! He tells us that the dogs
are jumping at their own
Most of these are powerful
images, and Norman delivers
them in moments of high
intensity equally matched with
moments of solemnity. The script
takes advantage of comedy, but
it seems the audience was
reluctant to laugh at the
character's black humour,
perhaps out of concern for his
situation, perhaps because the
cleverness ofthe irony was too
well hidden.
But by far the most impressive aspect of the performance
was the subtle yet brilliant use of
lighting, which was almost a
personality to whom the character was speaking.
The story is most likely a
verbal expression of his search
for acceptance, for a better life
but most importantly, for his
daughter's forgiveness.
KT Ttte
CULTURE. 12       I Ht UBYSSEY  rnnqe resi
' '• Down by |
pby Patrick McGuire
[ Seascape with Sharks and
Dancer, a dramatic comedy
written by Don Nigro and
performed by the English
Madhatters Theatre Company, is
a story about the dysfunctional
love between Tracy, the acid-
tongued, mysterious woman who
washes up on the shoreline of a
Cape Cod beachliouse, and Ben,
'the writer/librarian who saves
her from drowning. The play
takes place in Ben's living room
where the couple initially begin
the arguments which continue
throughout the play. Tracy's
antagonistic manner fuels the
arguments, as she tries everything in her power to make Ben
hate her. Ben, however, falls in
love with her and spends most of
the play reeling, in a puppydog-
Seascape with Sharks and
Fringe Festival 1993
playwright Don Nigro
fashion, from the verbal barrage
with which Tracy assaults him.
Diana Dent, playing the role
of Tracy, is neurotic, biting and
hilarious. It is Dent's energetic
talent, rather than anything
special about the script, that
makes the play so funny. During
the most intense moments ofthe
play, we see Dent talking herself
into a corner, revealing more
about her character than her
character truly wishes to show.
Dent slowly allows us to see the
woman behind Tracy's flippant
exterior and why Tracy is so
incapable of giving or receiving
love. Dent is bold and obnoxious
as well as quiet and introspective. ____	
Denfs counterpart, Quebec-
born Jean-Paul Gonthier, plays
the character of Ben in a
straightforward yet understated
way. His calm is the sounding
board for Tracy's furor. Although
Gonthier sometimes stumbled in
pronouncing some of his lines,
the two actors create an atmosphere that is constantly tense
and argumentative. You think
that the characters are going to
tear each other apart at any
However, the play itself,
while at times brilliantly
written, suffers from a lack of
clear direction. The play begins
in the middle of an argument
and the characters seem to be
engaged in the same conflict
throughout, although about
different things. Thus the
characters' actions and reactions
soon become predictable. We
never really see the characters
express love for one another.
They fight on stage but supposedly fall in love offstage. This
lack of intimacy onstage makes it
difficult to grasp why the couple
falls in love.
Despite these shortcomings
and staging effects such as two
inappropriate musical interludes, Seascape with Sharks and
Dancer is worth seeing. Most of
the audience ended up leaving
with a smile on their face, and
some might even have gotten
some insight into the dysfunctional conditions that so often go
along with humankind's strangest emotion: love.
,',••*# % .-
•A    A***..;*. '
-  i _<*■*j*$f
Strive tobea—
by Mamie MacEwan &Luisa
Skut up Bitch: A Brief Her-Story
of Time, written and directed by
Michelle Porter, a recent graduate ofthe UBC Theatre Department, chronicles the straight-
jacketing of women from the
middle ages to the 1990s.
The play is a light-hearted
series of musical vignettes on the
subject of feminism: funny,
J entertaining, fast-paced. Like a
train, it rides a smooth, well-
oiled track; the talented actors
keep our attention for the
duration—no small feat in the
,    sweat-box venue ofthe Main
s • Dance Place.
Shut Up Bitch:
A Brief Her-Story of Time
Fringe Festival 1993
writ. & dir. Michelle Porter
Yorick Theatre Company
until Tuesday, Sept. 14
Shut Up Bitch aims to
popularize basic feminist
| thought. For me however, it aims
too low. I walked away
underwhelmed, not stirred to
further thought or action: all was
j calm on the feminist front.
A powerful impact was
| hinted at in the show's begin-
I ning. In the first scene, "The
| Battle ofthe Blessed," Porter
i proposes an intriguing dialectic
embodied in two medieval
monks, one male, one female.
They chant, chronicling the past
and prophesying the future of
history and herstory. Instead of
delving into the issues of this
complex struggle, Porter offers a
facile, caricatured story, peppered with rhetoric and feminist
name dropping—old names at
' that.
On Friday, there was strong
support from the sold out
audience. I too, enjoyed the
performance, especially the
comedic talent of David Mackay.
However, it was during the
crucial analysis and discuss
afterwards that the show proved
to be forgettable.
The show does entertain. It
may even be chosen for "Beyond
the Fringe," but the script is not
profound. Stripped ofthe musical
comedy, the basic elements are
simplistic and didactic- That
society is patriarchal is well
established, but where do we go
from here?
Regardless, bearing in mind
the time and money constraints
of a Fringe production, the show
was technically strong: creative
lighting by Nik Von Schulmann,
professional costumes by Mara
Gottler, and an excellent use of
Always » «
by Joel Spicer
Based on playwright Jim
Mitchell's travels to the
Himalayas, Khampa-Cola Blues
il at Kola Pattar is a look behind
the scenes into the true relationship between East and West.
Khampa-Cola Blues at Kala
by J.A. Mitchell
Ama Dablam Presents
Sept. 17-19
The contrast between the
spirituality of Mitchell's quest
and the plastic commercialization of Nepal is brought into full
relief through the main
character's growing disillusionment. The ensuing cynicism is
integral to the success ofthe play
as it brings out the subtle (and
sometimes not-so-subtle!)
From bartering with a priest
over alcohol, to High Altitude
Flatulence Expulsion (HAFE), to
mushroom-induced paranoia at
the foot of Mount Everest,
Khampa-Cola Blues at Kala
Pattar is a captivating debut.
Up-and-coming thespian
Grace Chin does an excellent job
playing a diverse range of
characters, proving to be a
linchpin in the play's overall
impact. The simple set and
music serve to focus attention on
the actors by giving texture to
their performance and credence
to their actions.
Located in the intimate and
stuffy grunt gallery (209 East
6th Avenue) Khampa-Cola Blues
at Kala Pattar is, without a
doubt, an hour well spent
I 1 < I 1 I I
•Wtf 3?3iV ''-1
Don't wait
by Ashley Webster
Tarot cards, palm readings,
auras, signs from the heavens—
it's all in Waiting on Reno.
The play is a hilarious look
at a man trying to do everything
right, trying to fit in while falling
into the grips ofthe New Age,
neo-hippy (although I hesitate to
use that word) movement.
Waiting for Reno
by Robert Wright
Outcast Productions
until Thursday, Sept.16
Auton, a young businessman, meets a girl who is very        ^
much a part of the New Age.
Like any young infatuated man,
he will do anything she wants
him to, including having his
tarot cards read and buying
Birkenstocks and a matching
track-suit (a New Age yuppie).
This play is funny simply
through the absurdity ofthe
situation into which Auton has
gotten himself. There is also
some purely silly humour
provided by the insignificant, yet
hilarious, character of an old,
dirty, drunken man.
Waiting for Reno is well
acted, well made, definitely
funny, absurd and yet quite true.
The informality is also very
warming. If you are planning on
going to the Fringe Festival, this
play is definitely worth seeing,
maybe even twice.
by Chris Yanda
Imagine you were the Queen
of England, overseeing a mammoth empire and having the
power oflife and death over all
your subjects. Suddenly you find
yourself trapped in a little box at
the base of Westminister Abbey
for all eternity, and throw being
dead into the bargain.
It might make you a bit odd
after a few hundred years,
especially if the only other
person to talk to was your evil
Bloody Mary and the Virgin
Fringe Festival 1993
playwright: Cath Kilcoyne
Foursight Theatre
until Thursday, Sept.16
That is the premise behind
Bloody Mary and the Virgin
Queen, showing at the Heritage
Hall Fringe venue. The play, by
England's Foursight Theatre,
lets us hear what the first two
Queens of England have to talk
about after three hundred and
ninety years of rotting next to
each other.
The conversation is mostly
sex and violence with some juicy, j
gruesome gossip. Neither queen
seems to stand much on formality or decorum anymore. Jill
Dowse as Mary Tudor is the
more prim ofthe two, but even
she is not above playing with her j
collection of severed heads. Kate
Joseph as Elizabeth I is a ribald
delight with the worst case of
bed-head ever to affront a
barber. Both women are hilarious and have been given a
delightful and educational script
to work with by Cath Kilcoyne.
The play was a hit at the
Victoria Fringe, and here in
Vancouver it is performed in an
apt venue. Heritage Hall is a
vaguely gothic-looking building
whose interior is open enough to
let you think you might be in an
The bleachers used as seats
in this venue also contribute to
this illusion. Bring something
| soft to sit on. They are more
uncomfortable than any church
Existentialist angst well done
by Marko R. Reidel
Waiting for Godot is a
, rather profound play of ideas
rather than characters. This has
• advantages and disadvantages.
i No production could possibly
mangle the play the way a
conventional work could be.
There is no characterization to
worry about—credibility hardly
matters—the spectator must be
involved intellectually rather
than emotionally. Ideas, however, tend to date quickly: the
concerns of mid-twentieth
century French existentialists,
while fascinating even today
seem remote to tiie contemporary
Canadian viewer. The stuff of life
(love, jealousy, rivalries, etc.)
hardly ever changes; the same
cannot be said for philosophies.
Waiting for Godot
Fringe Festival 1993
Playwright: Samuel Beckett
How might one go about
producing a witty commentary
on the works ofthe French
existentialists, particularily
Camus? Easy. Take the philosopher himself, add a character
from one of his novels (the
protagonist of Camus' L'Etranger
), disguise them a bit and have
the two experience Camus'
abstract philosophical concerns
as the very source of physical
reality. This Beckett chose to do.
emain characters (of his play,
Vladimir and Estragon—two
vagrants—are caricatures of
Camus and the Stranger,
respectively. They spend tiie
entire play waiting for Godot, ie.
God. Godot never arrives. While
they are waiting, Vladimir and
Estragon entertain themselves
with seemingly absurd banter, a
kind of on-going criticism of
existentialist philosophy.
Eventually; someone does arrive:
Pozzo and his slave, the latter
ironiclly named Lucky. Pozzo is
the real thing. The remote yet
not entirely malevolent Godot
fails to appear. In his stead,
humanity and the two vagrants
get Pozzo, who is the image of a
manipulative, sadistic, malevolent and self-indulgent God who
takes pleasure in tormenting his
flock (Luckv). Pozzo's two
--■■^mI^jl "'! * # J i
- ftJ?l*V„-
appearances form the core ofthe
play. Beckett proceeds to utilize
them to illustrate traditional and
existentialist views of faith, God
and the role ofthe church. God
incarnate as enacted by Pozzo is
presented as a hideous monster,
yet the alternatives offered by
Vladimir and Estragon aren't all
that attractive, either.
A plot summary to make
one's stomach turn—might as
well attend a lecture, right? Not
so. While the subject matter is
bleak (for those who missed it,
ever since Nietzsche, Godot's
advent has been postponed
indefinitely), there are a great
many funny moments. The
vagrants' antics involve a lot of
verbal pyrotechnics and Pozzo's
willful brutality is actually
entertaining to watch. The
^i**^*-****'- *-w^&«i*&":>»^^ft*»w^ -*wa&k#*4-.
production emphasizes the
ridiculous in Vladimir and
Estragon: the former's bladder
condition and tiie tatter's
intellectual and physical clumsiness. The delivery is smooth, the
pace brisk. Be warned, though
that the comic bits' chief purpose
is to dress a gloomy subject
mater. I observed a number of
spectators getting bored during
the vagrants'various dialogues,
none of which make any sense if
you don't interpret them in the
Worth your money? Perhaps.
If you enjoy making highbrow
conversations at Starbucks, or if
youVe ever found yourself
waiting for Godot, go see this
play. By the way, the word
"erection" is used near the end of
the first act—be sure not to miss
it if you go.
Fuck of your life
I by Chung Wong """*
1       One of America's most
[serious drinkers, Los Angeles
j playwright and poet Charles
J Bukowski was not too difficult a
Irole to play by Mickey Roarke in
[that overbearing pay-tv rerun,
I Barfly. He hated life. His began
Iwith a drink and continued with
i drink. And so was the movie,
i endless pub crawl.
His blurred vision featured a
perverse, dark, meaningless yet
musical universe which became
core elements of his works.
The Fuck Machine
Fringe Festival 1993 Playwright:
Charles Bukowski
Way Off Broadway Group
until Sept.19
At the Fringe Festival
opening last Thursday, reporters
formed at least one in 10 members ofthe audience to view
Bukowski's The Fuck Machine .
produced by the local Way Off
Broadway Group. Most notably
for UBC, Discorder magazine co-
founder and current Globe and
Mail Western Arts Critic Chris
Dafoe, who gave a rave review
for the producer's previous
repeat outing, Ejections, Ejacula-
hw»* tions, and Exhibitions, came for
a return chuckle.
The Fuck Machine is almost
T""* like a dream sequence with the
***    same characters placed in
«Mt different situations. Its style can
almost be compared with David
\ Lynch's Wild at Heart. Dark
random violence and seedy sex.
One bad dream. ■
Bukowski loathed society
and in The Fuck Machine he
shows a slice of what society
loathed. The three central
' characters are a prostitute, a
bum and a street tnug.
There are about a dozen
scenes which flow into each other
but are completely unrelated,
perhaps you can call it surrealism. There is, however, a
common theme. The notion of
being fucked in the figurative
The play opens with a scene
of Hitler using an invention to
switch his body with a kidnapped
U.S. president. It ends with the
so-called Fuck Machine which
looks like a cross between a
musical box and a meat grinder
capable of granting "the fuck of
your life"
Thud. Something will fall
The production features
stellar acting, the lines are
musical, the scenes flow well, but
overall, the impression is stale—
much like a bar after closing.
: '!'■''*■ "J  X..J;-^-:   I     -XX;   f    :: Is
u&.'t/jfatew?. ^wrt&AVjvss rt»*9w*^- ^^^>*fc»-*»- \<nyxte&*&'&' *J*«*«W»-S*v*'. wt&pfyr&BWV- _t
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*v**&w-*-*-M.- »w»xj»aw*w .x*4yM&r
i    %    X ■■■■ i TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 14. 1993
Are you
**>, Septet
Are you:
older than the traditional student, i.e. over 24-years-old;
employed while studying on a part-time basis;
a parent, single or otherwise;
returning to school after an absence; and/or
changing or enhancing your career through post-secondary
Yes? Congratulations! You are one of a growing population at post-
secondaiy institutions across Canada.
Are the AMS and UBC meeting your needs? Do you have comments or
suggestions on:
social events •     orientation
financial aid •     playcare/daycare
•""■ evening course offerings      •     lighting
student services' hours        •     political representation
Drop in for refreshments. Meetyour peers. Share your personal experiences. Let us help you navigate a system that was not designed for non-
traditional students. Help change that system.
Non-traditional Students' Orientation
Thursday, September 16 • 4:30 - 7KX) p.m.
Student Union Building, Room 207/209
For more information, please contactone ofthe followingself-proclaimed
non-traditional students: Carole Forsythe, Coordinator of External Affairs,
at 822-2050 or Terri Folsom, Administrative Assistant, at 822-3971.
While other places determine how much they will give
you for your used books, we let you determine your
price. * This means more money in your pocket.
The handling fee is primarily charged so that the AMS is
able to hire students. Your patronage supports
students and their interests.
sue rm ni
August 30 to September 17**
8:30 am to 6:30 pm***
SUB Room 111
August 31 to September 24**
8:30 am to 6:30 pm***
SUB Room 111
* The AMS charges a 20% handling fee on all books sold.
** Closed Labour Day and weekends.
*** Hours are subject to change without notice. TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 14. 1993
-.-from page 22...her shrieks. Kick Hiebert donned his ceremonial robes and dived in to save her. But the
moat was mighty, its waters treacherous. Chris Yanda, Fearless Monster of the Murky Deep,, rose up
from his pestilential home and swallowed them both. This was too much for editor-in-chief Patrick
McGuire, who rushed in yelling, "Stop! Stop!" His deformed underling, Steve Chow, was slobbering
obediently behind him. "Yeah,** he babbled. "Run-on sentences, sloppy editing, and it's DOVE not fucking
DIVED!!!" But it was too late. Harried journalists Roger Wiebe and Martin Chester were going nuts,
under pressure of a deadline and the leviathan kelp whip wielded by Yukie Kurahashi. Paula Foran wa$
not amused. In her charming Irish accent she called on the crazy writers to stop their madness. No-on0
listened to what she was saying. All were dumbfounded by her otherworldly beauty. Dean Meyerhofij
immediately killed himself from a surfeit of incommodious joy. Ron Fichter's teeth chattered
uncontrollably and his eyes bulged out until they resembled the dilated lychee nuts that Doug Ferris
kept in his kitchen. Chung Wong turned instantly to stone. A paralytica! fear gripped everyone and soon
no-one could work on the paper. Damn crazy-assed journalists with their clothes off. ''Give me my purple
monkey. Give me my purple monkey. Give me my purple monkey. CURSE YOU GIVE ME MY PURPLE
MONKEY!" screamed Mamie MacEwan. "Here is your stinking purple monkey. Here is your stinking
purple monkey. Here is your stinking purple monkey. HOPE YOU DONT MIND THE SUCKING CHEST
WOUND," replied Luisa Rino. So embroiled in their passionate conversation, they did not notice Angus
Redfern biting the heads off of Siobhan Roantree action figures, complete with a camera that takes real
pictures. Elsewhere in the garden, Rick Hiebert was playing guitar, Graham Cook kissed his lips and
broke Steve Chan's heart. But they will all burn, burn, burn in the fiery pits for their insane love, the
kind that burns, burns, burns, insanely in the fiery pits where insane love burns, burns, burns fiery.
Fanning the flames of love was Peggy Lee, who was as tired as a really tired person who was really tired,
Sludging forth from the swamp was the much-feared sphinter boy, Omar Kassis, who had just signed a 1)
picture deal with 20th Century Fox to star as the Human Gas. Just down the road at the 7-11, Taiv«
Evard was busy making hamburgers for the lunch crowd. "Big fucking pickles. Tangy bleedin* onions.
Juicy green peppers. They can all kiss my ass," he muttered under his breath. Taivo!" belched hairy,
beer-bellied Noelle Fraser from the backroom. "Get to work. Or youll have to ride Mr .Happy." Evard got
back to work. Unmentionable parts of his body were still sore the last time Mr. Happy, the leech of love,
visited him. Just then, Janet Winters walked in, looking like a car crash. Give me some cumquats, her
face seemed to say. Following her was Ted Young-lng, clad in the most beautiful belt, a belt of
magnificent power. Indeed, it was the belt of Joel Spicer, god of many belts. "Like it, huh," said Ted,
obviously oblivious to the giant fireball that the world outside the convenience store had become.
Turning like a ball on fire, rotating around another ball, bouncing off the wall like the Beatles' Sargeant
Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, it reminded Martin Jones ofthe wallpaper he still haid on the inside
of his closet, the one with the really cool pictures of Keith Banerjee, the fortune teller. "You will all die
soon," said Keith one fine day, "and no-one will care -what colour stains you leave on you*- wegdgies." He
was wise, for Tanya Storr agreed: although she was a genuinely nice person, she had long forgotten hers.
As for me, someday I hope to marry Audrey Hepburn.
The University of British Columbia
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Many members of student council
want to remove the Student Environment Centre, the Global Development Centre and other student organizations from the main
concourse of the Student Union
Building and replace them with
more "essential" services that
perform more mundane functions
for students. An editorial in this
issue of The Ubyssey inquired what
the underlying message of this
political initiative is. Undeniably
a student council cannotmake any
decisions, however small in scope,
without sending out some sort of
message about its collective value
system. In this case the decision is
arguably a vital one because ofthe
emotional charges it unleashed in
some of the people affected by it.
There is a message here for all to
see: that the role of collective student funds, and by extension ofthe
university body politic, is to help
students find work. Other roles,
such as helping students to educate
one another about universally
relevant issues, are not as important. But not all students see things
this way. A caller to a CBC Radio
call-in showthisweekthatfeatured
Dave Strangway as guest scorned
such attitudes. It is up to the uni-
that will prepare decision-makers
in the future for the severe upheavals facing the world inexorably—and not the knowledge gained
from short-term success in job
hunting. UBC's Student Council is
effectively placing these kinds of
phasis on jobs over information
hasdeeperreverberations. Student
councillors are all too right in recognizing that the economy is in
bad shape. But they display the
same lack of foresight as almost
every politician when they assume
versity community to teach students to think and articulate their
thoughts, she said. But it is up to
students and graduates to find
work through the same channels
as the rest of society. Indeed, there
are many agencies in the community that help people find work.
But there are few opportunities off
campus to expand knowledge of
the sorts the Environment Centre
deals in. This is the knowledge
short-term vision in front of the
kind of mind-expanding mission
that the best universities have always striven for. With the decision
to place the Ombudsoffice in a place
of prominence there can be no
quarrel— nor with the highlighting of the Safe Walk programme.
Students unquestionably need
justice and they unquestionably
need safety on this hostile,
sprawling campus. But the em-
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that more ofthe same old economic
strategies are going to fix it.
Macroeconomics around the worl d
are irrevocably screwed up. In the
real new world order— the one
foreseen not by statesmen but far
better by rock'n'roll poets of the
green/techno generation—people
do not consider upwardly mobile,
stable jobs as the natural be-all
and end-all that they were to our
parents'generatdon. Human beings
everywhere want to feed themselves and their children. And they
want to make themselves a place
in their societies that accords with
their experiences and potentials.
But there are other ways to do this
than by the power of money, and
everyone had better get used pretty
quick to dwindling resources for
economic growth. Money is power,
but there is another kind of power
that is more progressive, more
satisfying and better for the future
of our species. Information, man,
information. The power of information is greater than the power
of money because money relies on
information to exist, but information is a free—the only free resource. And in ten or fifty years,
when there are no more resources
to fuel the economies of this province or of this world, it will be the
people who are informed and know
how to stay constantly informed
that will take charge. Make no
mistake—the shit is going to hit
the fan in your lifetime. Trees and
minerals in B.C., and fossil fuels in
widespread nations are down to
the last exploitable reserves. You
will have to deal with a world where
you can't drive cars or rely on cheap,
publicly purchased energy. Many
students as well as academics understand that in this coming world,
like in every era in history, the
folks with the facts will be driving
the bus. Students who wander into
the Environment Centre ready to
commit themselves to issues they
know they can no longer afford to
ignore are among those on this
bus. So are undergraduates who
develop enough understanding of
what universities are for to elect
graduate research vocations in
areas that may not profit them
directly. So is the young woman
who called the CBC talk show this
week. She affirmed that she did
indeed get her money's worth for
her recent B.A. degree in spite of
being unable to find work relevant
to her field of study. These are the
people whose decisions will label
them for the great board of directors in the sky as thoughtful, kinetic, and ultimately wise. Now
ask yourself what decisions you
would make if you were on student
council. Or if you were educated
but unemployed(as so many of us
are). Or even if you were a preachy
Ubyssey feature writer wired on
bad coffee and way past deadline.
by Omar K<XSS.*8
IT *
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Waving good-bye to emancipation at the AMS BBQ.
JATUMAY • ftPt. 18
***** TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 14. 1993
THEUBYSSEY Suaar Mill     17
It was a REALLY FUCKED night.
Humankind has for centuries
pondered the degree to which the
human mind can have knowledge
of the universe and its workings.
Let us say that here, tonight, we
have gone where no human has
gone before. Perhaps you recall
that particular Star Trek episode
where 'Q* took the enterprise to the
very outer reaches ofthe universe
where reality was constructed by
the very conception of an idea in
the minds of the crew members.
Well, here, tonite, we forged a real ity u nlike any other ever observe d
in the history of the existence of
human consciousness. Picture a
journey down a road. You have
seen the map and like most maps it
does not plot out all the side trails,
the twisty hills, the blind corners
or the fact that you are in fact
travelling the wrong way down a
one way, single laned truck route
(this is a metaphor of course). The
brakes of these trucks do not work
and so when they come barrelling
around one of those plentiful blind
corners which riddle the road you
have chosen, they dont even bother
to swerve to avoid crushing your
battered, exhausted body. Like a
lemming you continue forth to attain some distant, unknowable,
unattainable goal. You embrace
each truck with greater zeal. Surviving the pain of lost limbs,
crushed skull and a basically
FUCKED up body becomes a sick
and twisted contest. Suddenly you
find you are living a *Ren and
Stimp-/episode. You are travelling
through a cartoon landscape where
a tangible, orderly, logical, sensible
world no longer reigns and has
dissolved into the fluctuating,
pulsating ooze of HELL. We tasted
hell tonite and the intoxicating
bitterness of its fiery wines has left
us drunk with an unfathomable
grief. Basically, we're FUCKED.
All of us originally joined this paper to write. Contrary to popular
WRITING. Writing is everything.
Writing is our way of touching the
divine. Through the experience of
writing text we write ourselves into
the mesh of reality. But
NOOOOOOOO...the tools whereby
we forge our words, our passion,
our identities are destroyed. Cosmic dust in a sea of journalistic
anarchy and we the lost angels,
the harbingers of the divine, are
trapped in purgatory. Heaven is
but a functioning, up to date, well
equipped, adequately financed,
AMS supported, student accessible
office space, student government,
informed budget committee, committed and concerned executive,
away. Lot', intensity ofit all to be
but an inch away from Heaven.
God has not smiled upon us this
evening but has frowned a big and
nasty "frown, the furrows of his
brow, like caverns, are the valleys
through which we are descending
into the bowels of our despair. Do
you remember that fridge magnet
about the guy who sees the big
"G's" footsteps next to him when
his life is going good but doesn't
see them during the period when
his life SUCKED? the big "G" replies *My son, during your time of
despair you did not walk alone for
I carriedyou through your troubled
time.' Well, lefs just say God decided to kick back in his easy chair,
drink a brewskie and watch a ball
game the day THE UBYSSEY
crumbled into a twitching, festering, frazzled, disheveled ball of
despair. To make matters slightly
worse (remember, you are in a dimension where everything can
become infinitely more extreme
than in any other dimension experienced to date) The Holy Harbinger of Bad Tidings has confined us
to the office. Imagine that you are
aware of the infinite span of the
universe and that you are trapped
in a 4 X 4 box unable to touch,
experience or explore that vast
reaches of space which lie jusi; beyond your prison...Oh hapless are
these vacant souls, these vacant
spaces withoutta goal. Wasted
words in retribution speak of loss
and strain and havoc wreaked.
Technological strangle, a
chokehold of colossal despair has
tightly wrapped its electric grip
around our sorry necks. Line after
line, line after line, we stuck no
text no typsetting, as silenced as a
feminist at an Iron John workshop
weekend. Poetic trivialities are
what we have resorted to. How can
we but mortal souls take arms
against a god. a god with five heads
who rules the round table, a god
without mercy, a god without a
soul, a self-appointed god no less, a
god who rambles on much more
than i do. Well let me FUCKING
TELL YOU KIDS. I have another
47 lines of space to fill. Well i've
FUCKING had it. Picture this, a
fifth year sociology student out to
discover the world, out to explore
what lies beyond the snuggly
safety-net of university education
and extra-curricular commitments. The hope of discovering a
niche where the development and
expansion of the self flowers in a
supportive, loving caring environment. Where you feel that it's okay
to have a bad hair day, where it's
okay to have that feminine itch,,
where its okay to snap, purchase
an uzi, and slaughter half the office
staff in a brutal and bloody fashion
because everyone has a bad day
now and then —you're only human.
But no, sadly, so sadly, no 1 am
here IN FUCKING HELL. I do not
mean "hell' in the metaphorical
sense, I do not mean Tiell' in the
colloquial sense, T do not mean
Tiell' in the symbolist-feminist-
with a dash aromanticism and two
teaspoons of social materialism
with just a pinch of capitalism
sense, neither do I mean 'hell* in
the I am an Arts rep to the AMS
council sense although that
certainly places a very close second
to the hell I presently am in that
cold hard empty place of concave
contortions and spiritual implosions. I am dancing with the devil
(and damn he dances a mean jig).
I have a question is the opened
door closed in the open or open in
the closed opening ofthe closure of
its openness? Why is the whol e not
whole in its state of being whole
yet not whole while being whole
(speaking ofholes never-mind).
Transgressing the laws of the
universe has led down a spiral path
of an obsessive pursuit for meaning and understanding. My question is WHY: WHY do none of our
computers work; Why do we have
no money to create a quality
newspaper; WHY are we being
treated like a bunch of unemployed,
lazy, hippie, dope smoking, rebel-
without-a-cause, slack assed societal leeches; WHY is it that the
conservative right wing perspective is always treated as though it
is neutral, rational and objective
while the left-wing perspective is
somehow deficient in its ability to
arise at illuminating and stimulating ideas which generally provide catalysts for discussion and
action rather than the right wing
hegemonic notions of normality
which intimidate most of you into
a passive state of conformity; 'WHY
is it that my corn-flakes al ways get
soggy; WHY is it that in our attempt to be a dedicated, hard
working, cooperative team of individuals we are without the tools
or support to bring the students
the quality paper they deserve.
My final conclusion which I will
now arise upon is based upon the
latter, extensive overview wliich I
have just presented — frankly,
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/ & Moiiday     Vancouver .-'Surrey  Mon-Fn  9 30 lo 5 30   Sai   10 CO lo 4 00   Closed Sunda: 18     THEUBYSSEY   Book Review
Who really  killed  John F.   Kennedy?
_   _ _  *_-_•___ ■_-_■• _ l   _     a. UH I i__ ■  _.!  ___.4^_^-_.   .«J -I*— ^AJ.__-^i-.     -*-_ *-*_-. 4-4. _- — T>    _   * !•__.._. 1        a -. •'•--^
by Rick Hiebert
Everyone wants to know
who shot U.S. President John F.
Kennedy as he rode in a motorcade in Dallas Texas in November 1963. The continuing
controversy about whether Lee
Harvey Oswald was the only
person shooting at Kennedy's car
has resulted in a lot of ongoing
debate and, by one count, over
2,000 books.
For those unfamiliar with
the debate, it very briefly goes
like this: a federal government
commission chaired by Supreme
Court Justice Earl Warren, after
interviewing witnesses and
studying the case, reasoned that
Oswald was perched up in the
sixth floor ofthe Texas School
Book Depository with a rifle. He
fired at the car from behind,
killing Kennedy and wounding
Texas governor John Connally.
Case Closed:
Lee Harvey Oswald and
the Assassination of JFK
By Gerald Posner
Random House
Critics ofthe report, studying interviews, photos and films
(most notably the film shot by
Abraham Zapruder, which most
Ubyssey readers have probably
seen at one time or another),
disagree. They believe that after
Kennedy was hit in the neck or
back and his body was moving
forward, he was hit in the front
ofthe head, his body moving
back and to the rear.
They figure that at least one
other assassin shot at the car,
probably from a small hillock
bordering the street the car was
travelling on A tall fence and
some tree foliage would have
given "the man on the grassy
knoll" ample cover for a shot to
finish the president off. Some
even doubt that Oswald was up
at the sniper's nest at all.
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Who was behind the con
spiracy depends on which book
one reads. Most finger the Mafia
or agents ofthe CIA.
One book takes a comparatively interesting stance on the
affair—Lee Harvey Oswald was
the only assassin and there was
no conspiracy. Case Closed by
lawyer Gerald Posner, says that
the Warren Commission was
Posner, after studying the
case, is firmly convinced.
"Lee Harvey Oswald," he
writes, "was the only assassin at
Dealey Plaza on November 22,
1963. To say otherwise, in light
ofthe overwhelming evidence, is
to absolve a man with blood on
his hands, and to mock the
President he killed."
It would seem I'm a mocker.
I have read several books on the
case and after reading Posner's
book, I am still not convinced
that Oswald was the only
gunman. (I could discuss many
possible objections but I fear that
if I start talking about things
like the firing speeds and
accuracy of Oswald's rifle, half
my readers will fall asleep and
the other half will write sarcastic
Ubyssey letters questioning
whether Fm smart enough to tie
my own shoes and wave bye bye
as I didn't deal with this or that
Several features of Posner's
book are good. It's an effective
survey treatment ofthe assassi
nation and its aftermath, written
in gripping prose. Case Closed is
very interesting reading.
Some of his arguments are
plausible. He's written a good
portrayal of Oswald himself and
ifs clear that he was the type of
person who might try to shoot
the president. According to
Posner, Oswald was moody and
personally unstable.
Posner's study of the work of
the Warren Commission and the
work of some ofthe critics is also
a good primer for someone
wanting to study the affair for
the first time. He makes a good
case that New Orleans District
Attorney Jim Garrison, who
launched an investigation ofthe
shooting in 1967 and was
lionized by the Oliver Stone film
JFK, was somewhat unscrupulous in his attempt to prove his
own theory in court.
My main objection, ofthe
several that I have, is that
someone who is shot in the
"back* ofthe head would be
unlikely to have his head move
backwards and to the right, as
JFK's did. Posner argues that
Kennedy suffered "a neurological
spasm" in his neck and back,
which forced his head back at
one and a half times the speed it
had been heading forward
immediately before the shot,
which travelled at 2,000 MPH.
This shot allegedly came from
the rear and caused Kennedy to
fall back.
Fm a journalist not a doctor,
but it seems being shot would be
like being hit on the back of the
head with a baseball bat. It
would be rather unlikely that
one's head would fall backwards
after this happens, unless one
suffered one heck of a "neurological spasm."'
Case closed? Doubt it.
Posner does have a problem.
If any shots come from any
direction other than from tne
rear, there has to be a second
gunman and probably a conspiracy. His argument is a
difficult one to postulate.
Nevertheless, Case Closed is
the best argument written in
support ofthe single gunman
theory. Read with a critical eye,
it is well worth examining by
those wishing to study the
Cover-up LowddwnTpMUMAVRWEs
£ 1976 by Kinney & Mavrides
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MAKBWiWfiAWMS    I   n
... ..^dyXisdX ''yxXgsiiffop.:^ y
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isSS***       ■■   * .\
Only Scotiabank chalks up a
no-fee1 banking package for students.
If there's one thing we know about students,
it's that sometimes they run on a tight budget.
And since we were the first Canadian bank to
introduce a student package three years ago, it's
something we've kept in mind.
If you're a full-time college1 or university student,
you're eligible for the Scotia Banking Advantage"
package. This package includes a daily interest
chequing account, an automated banking machine
card, a Classic VISA card2 and for qualified graduating students, an auto loan.
With Scotia Banking Advantage, you can also
start establishing a good credit rating. Something
that will be useful in the future.
So drop by your nearest Scotiabank branch
and we'll show you all the ways
we can help. --
\M1N $l 000 CASH
November 12, w^ & .-^mwinl ^^
Scotiabank il
•The Bank of Nova Scotia registered user of mark 'No monthly fee or min.mum monthly balance. 'Community College, Technical Institute or Cegep. ®Registered Trade Mark of The Bank of Nova Scotia. ^Subject to credit approval. TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 14. 1993
THE UBYSSEY Arts     19
like there's a fake one?
Off the
by Chris Yanda
Modern Dance rarely
repeats itself. It has no famous
ballets that are performed over
and over again to be
reinterpreted by a new choreographer. If you miss a brilliant
modern dance performance,
there is a good chance youVe
missed it forever.
This can make it an exciting
art form. It can also make it
difficult to review.
until Saturday, Sept.18
The sixth annual Dancing on
the Edge festival will continue at
the Firehall Arts Centre and
other venues until Saturday,
Sept. 18th. However, the show I
saw last Saturday will not be
seen again. Some ofthe individual pieces in the show may be
performed again at a later date
or incorporated into future works
by the the artists involved, but it
will take a keen and patient eye
to notice them.
This is not necessarily a bad
thing. The theme linking the
various pieces in this show was
that the choreographers were all
connected with the dance
program at Simon Fraser
University. This was not a strong
connective theme.
Dance has a tendencv to be
cliquey at times and the only
rationale I could see for this
theme was to target an audience
of SFU grads and students. In
this respect, it was probably
successful. There was close to a
full house in the theatre.
However, it made for an
uneven show. Each piece had to
stand or fall on its own.
One piece stood high above
the rest. Labyrinth of Tunnels by
Judith Garay was a brilliant and
arresting duet performed by
herself and Anthony Morgan.
The music, costumes, and
movement all worked together to
create a dynamic and enthralling
whole. This piece alone made the
show worthwhile.
Three other pieces were also
worthy of mention. I think that
Suzanne Oliver must be the
strongest woman in the world.
Her piece, Poppies Red was a
powerful solo which she performed with grace.
Anik Bouvrette's Fields of
Dew, a tribute to a friend lost to
cancer, was beautifully danced
by Rhonda Lea Cooper.
And Gerry Bradauer and
Michael Hirano choreographed a
pair of short, witty dances
performed by Laura Crema and
Hicham Boutaleb entitled First
Dance and Last Dance which
lightly sandwiched the intermis-
by Steve Chow
Sometimes venturing out
into the seedy underbelly of
Vancouver to write a review is
simply a waste of vision.
I have been blinded.
First, every jerk and his cat
took turns trying to run me and
my chaffeur Dave off the
Burrard Street Bridge. Thanks
for signalling, buttheads.
Then Dave, who just had the
equivalent of open heart surgery
on his knee, was almost mowed
down by a motorcycle cop as he
tried to cross Robson Street.
The Real McCoy
directed by Russell Mulcahy
with Kim Bassinger, Val
"Get back," growled Porky
Policeman, "wait for the light!"
Dave, one ofthe few Godfearing respectable citizens in
Vancouver, hobbled painfully
back to the sidewalk on his
crutches and brace.
"ASSHOLE!" squealed the
overweight cop, who then sped
away in shades of Eric Estrada
on a CHiPs powertrip.
In the theatre, I bought
some popcorn and, using the
The Muslim Students'
at University
of British Columbia
(MSA - UBC) - Welcomes
New & Returning UBC students and
staff and wishes them a good and
successful academic year.
also Announcing
The congregational prayers time
and place to be 1:45 - 2:30 PM
Fridays at the International
House lower lounge
MSA * UBC also encourages individuals of the campus community to
make use of the Islamic literature
available in our library. For those
interested, please inquire during the
above mentioned time and place
fragile freedoms guaranteed me
as a member of Canadian
society, asked for some water.
"Water? You have the
insolence to ask for water?!" the
vendor's face screamed through
her constipated smile. "Fll give
you water, sphincter-boy, right
up your little—"
I turned away from her
glare. It was one of those nights.
As the theatre dimmed, I
realized that The Real McCoy
was not going to be a pleasant
viewing experience.
Trapped in a Disney movie
gone wrong, Kim Bassinger is a
woman bank robber surrounded
by men who talk about how
prison has done wonders for her
perfect body, blackmail her, and
savagely beat her into unconsciousness.
Isn't that just dandy.
Of course, she pulls off a
bank robbery, gets the bad guys,
hops on a plane to a faraway
land with millions of bucks, and
lives happily ever after.
The end.
CULTUM**   06P1-.    _5UB 2>4.K.
FT     TO     THE     WORLD
Celebrate the Preservation ofthe
to raise funds to cover the costs ofthe successful four-year
campaign to save the Tatshenshini-Alsek wilderness.
Leon Bibb
Ann Mortifee
and Special Guest   rSTj**
John Denver
Silent Art Auction: 7 pm • Program Begins at 7:30 pm
Tickets $20 at TicketMaster • Charge by Phone 280-/14-14
Teaching the Educated to Read!
The main cause of student drop-out is stress —
stress over not having assignments finished, stress
over not staying "caught-up" with the class, and
stress over the realization that just slaying "caught-
up" isn't going to be good enough.
1993 was the worst year in history for students
getting jobs right out of college, and this next year
looks even worse.
It isn't always the smartest students who get
the best grades,, but it is always the best readers
— the ones who can get the most out of their books
on their own.
Simply getting through your reading
assignments will only give you the minimum that
your professor requires to pass you. Just passing
your courses isn't going to be good enough
In fact, having a diploma or a degree only
allows you the opportunities of furthering your
education with a more competitive group of fellow
The '90s will continue to be a decade filled
with the most rapid change ever seen in history.
Only those who are able to adapt to those changes
will be able to remain competitive.
Being able to read all your reading
assignments and additional reading selections
with increased comprehension and recall will be
a prc-requisite for anything you plan to do in the
The difference between a good mark and a
great one will depend on your ability to read and
learn on your own.
Power Reading is the Solution!
Power Reading is an eight-step video course
that was developed on a college campus and
initially designed for college students. With recent
developments in video and computer graphics
technologies, this course can now be offered on
video, allowing you to learn in the privacy of your
own home — at your own pace.
This course will absolutely at least double
your reading speed with increased comprehension.
(A $9.95 shipping and handling fee applies) 20  THE UBYSSEY
. **:-'    XX* *
**X ,*   v
^JM ^M'
AUDITIONS: Tuesday, September 14,. 6:30pm-
!r* the SUB Auditorium, flvten need to be a size 31
&§ize 7/8, models will be compensated).
A CONCERT: SHINE will play on the SUB Plaza,
Wednesday, September 15, 12:30pm-1 :30pm.
A GIRBAUD FASHION GALA: Thursday, September 16,
12:00prn-l *30pm on the SUB Plazc, FREE FOOD,
MORE GIVEAWAYS, DJ and see your friends model
Girbaud's hottest fall fashions!
THEUBYSSEY Sports    21
T-Birds avoid the mustard bombing
by Dean Meyerhoff
Another chapter was written
in UBC football history this
weekend as the gridiron Birds
completed a dramatic comeback
with a last second field goal earning them a 20-17 victory over the
SFU Clansmen at Shrum Bowl
Andrew English's three
pointer from 31 yards out with no
time left on the clock ensured UBC
bragging rights over their cross-
town rivals for another year and
evened the overall series between
the two football programs at 8-8-1.
Although the game was
characterized by superb defence
on both sides ofthe ball, it was the
T-Bird fourth quarter offence that
enabled them to pull out the victory.
For much of the first three
quarters the UBC offence sputtered as SFU, led by NFL prospect
Doug Peterson and speedy linebacker Justin King applied constant pressure on the T-Birds
quarterback Jason Day, who was
making his first start since replacing injured starter Adrian
Momentum was hard to come
by for much of the game as consecutive T-Bird first downs were
often followed by turnovers. Down
10-3 as the fourth quarter began,
the T-Bird offence finally came to
life. With the ball on the SFU
thirty-five, QB Jason Day dropped
back and threw a pass deep to
receiver Jeff Sharpe, behind defensive coverage in the end zone.
On the first play of the next
series UBC safety Anthony
Findlay intercepted SFU QB Terry
Following the turnover, the
Bird's offence was stymied and
forced to punt. The attempt was
blocked deep in the Birds' end and
returned for a TD.
To their credit the T-Birds did
notgetdiscouraged, and with their
next possession put together the
best drive of the game.
Inspired by running backs Mark
Linden and Mark Nohra, the UBC
running game came to life. The
drive ended with Jason Day
throwing a perfectly timed pass to
Sean Graham on a crossing pattern, who then sped away from
defenders, scoring a touchdown.
The UBC bench and team supporters erupted as UBC had fought
back once more to tie.
On Simon Fraser's next possession the fired up UBC defence
held firm once again and forced
SFU to punt the ball, affording
UBC one last chance to break the
On their next possession UBC
continued to pound the ball
downfield with the "Marks' brothers. Nohra and Linden took turns
ripping off yardage in the heart of
the SFU line. Then with tho ball
still out of field goal range, and
with time becoming a factor, Jason
Day hit reliable Jeff Sharpe along
the sideline for a critical thirteen
yard gain.
Three plays later UBC kicker
Andrew English was sent on the
field to decide the game. The kick
was true and the UBC celebration
began even before the ball was
through the uprights. English was
tackled and mobbed by his teammates while delirious UBC fans
ran in all directions.
A synopsis ofthe game would
not be complete without mention
ofthe mid-third quarter, goal line
stand by the UBC defense. On third
down from the T-Bird one yard
line, the hand-off had gone to Doug
Peterson (SFU's answer to Refrigerator Perry) but the UBC defenders hit the big guy low, and drove
him back. On fourth and goal from
the one, T-Bird defensive back Matt
Young sacked the SFU quai-ter-
back for a loss.
UBC Offence makes room for the guy with the ball-
Great credit has to go to the
UBC defence, not just for the goal
line stand but for keeping the game
close and giving the offence the
opportunity to make the dramatic
After the game, the jubilation
amongst the UBC players and the
sombre, downcast looks upon the
faces of SFU players gave testimony to the fact that this was not
just any exhibition game. In addition to the simple pride involved,
the effect this game has on player
recruitment is not lost on the players and coaches. In every way Sunday was a big day for UBC football.
Cross-town rivalry chanting
by Dinos Kyrou
There was a whole lotta'
chantin' going on at Swangard
Stadium last Sunday. Ranging
from, "Fuck you SFU!" (or UBC,
depending on your persuasion) to
"SFU (or UBC) sucks!" and... er,
well, that's about it. I hear that a
whole song book is to be written for
next year's game.
The plethora of chants proved
too much of a challenge for one
hapless SFU individual, probably
high on a particular illegal substance, who shouted (I think accidentally), "Fuckyou SFU!" An easy
mistake to make—if you're on
The list of chants finally exhausted, spectators resorted to
waterbombs, (inevitably) followed
by bombs ofthe mustard variety.
The first hapless victim of the
yellow peril was the SFU mascot
(who resembled someone with excessive facial and body hair' but
was apparently a bloody big baboon.)
Retaliation followed in the
form of cruise missiles containing
mustard warheads launched at
UBC civilians from SFU silos.
Within seconds, a Bosnia-type free
fire zone was established between
the two sides. To venture into it
meant instant mustard. Bodies
could not be retrieved.
After a couple of hours, I realized (to my horror) that a football
game was taking place. I made
this revelation when the T-bird
mascot had to run onto the field to
avoid abuse at the hands of the
SFU fans.
This previously undiscovered
phenomenon, known as "football,"
was used to SFU's advantage by
taking the lead with a touch down.
Although it may as well have been
a home run for all the crowd cared.
However, a record third chant
emerged at this time from UBC:
"At least we have a nice campus!"
This was enough to spur on
UBC to win 20-17. SFU, and the
baboon, made a quick exit.
Yamaoka avoids the lunging Clansman.
U.B.C. Thunderbird
/^* Winter Sports Centre
6066 Thunderbird Blvd. - UBC Campus
[yJXh, tUk bUli bU**-,       -=
Banquet Facilities
Available to suit
any Budget
At The Winter Sports Centre
Try Us For Lunch And A Change Of Scenery
Watch All Your Favorite Sports
On Our Sports Satellite T.V. System
Bar And Kitchen Open Daily At 11:00 A.M.
Squash - Racquetball Contracts
• We will be offering three month contracts for September 27, '93 through December 17, '93.
• These will be a one court week contract with no reduced fees.
• Courts will be issued strictly on a first come first serve basis with payment required in full.
• Special rates available only on presentation of valid student AMS card or faculty/staff card.
822-6121    822-6125
Contracts Can Be Booked On September 16,1993,
Starting At 8:00 A.M., At the Sports Shop. Editorial
Why the hell are you in university anyway? A lot of people
were probably wondering that after leaving the student council
meeting last week. An ad hoc committee made up of the executive
and other parties within the council
wants to reallocate space in the
student-built, student-run SUB
building where so many of us spend
so much time.
They would like to see what
they consider essential services
located in the main concourse, and
less important "resource" organizations bumped to smaller, less
visible space upstairs or in the
basement. This means that the
Ombudsoffice, Joblink, Volunteer
Connections, and the Safewalk
programme would be centrally located while the Student Environment Centre, among others, would
lose its prime location on the main
floor, and doubtless a lot of its
accessibility to new members.
People directly affected by
these changes are pissed off—or
delighted, depending on what side
of the results they're landing on.
Not an earth-shaking change for
the rest of us, though. But the
politics behind this proposal—and
you can't have any change in plans
without some political implications—resonate of some of the
broad shifts taking place in education today. Decisions made by
today's student council will congeal
as historical indications ofthe fin-
de-siecte mood of this tremulous
The idea behind the room
changes is to give prominence to
the services that students "need"
most. In these economically arid
times, according to the decisionmakers who are trying to act on
behalf of their 30,000 peers, students need jobs. They need to be
able to find them. And they need to
be able to make the kinds of connections, such as those that volunteering positions can afford, that
can help them find jobs.
Placing the employment-
making organizations in the best
space in the building, at the expense ofthe information-generating ones, is a pragmatic way of
expressing the political will of
QUIZ: l.What does this action say
about your educational priorities?
2.What makes you reason this
(Suggested answers p. 16)
Letters to the staff
I am ecstatic to see a student
newspaper that relates to everyday
life on campus. I enjoyed reading
articles written by people I know. I
can relate better to it! I would
rather read information about the
library than about how to use a
cucumber or carrot for one's sexual
eryoyment. The student newspaper
should be a soap box for the students, including undergraduate &
graduate students. The paper
The indisputable fact is that
the vast majority of people who
attended UBC last year thought
the Ubyssey was a total waste of
their money. Forget the freedom of
the press arguments. The only issue is that the former editors ofthe
paper did a shitty job.
They used the paper for their
own self-interests, and purposely
for controversial attitudes just for
the sake of being controversial.
should represent a cross-section of That paper in no way represented
the university, including special the students of UBC.
interest groups and diverse cul- So far, it looks like whatever
tures. I am pleased to see a new the AMS has done with the paper
format. Jeers to the past editors has worked. The first issue ofthe
and many cheers to the new editors.
Karen Skye
4th Year Physical Ed.
September 14. 1993
The Ubyssey is a founding member of Canadian University Press
The Ubyssey is published Tuesdays and Fridays by the
Alma Mater Society ofthe University of British Columbia.
Editorial opinions are those of the staff and not necessarily those of the university administration, or of the
publisher. The editorial office is Room 241K of the
Student Union Building.  Editorial Department, phone
822-2301; advertise, 822-3977; FAX 822-9279
A Mack day dawned on the sleepy little village. As Lis
Van Assam stumbled out of bed she caught an ugly
glimpse of herself in the cracked mirror that leaned
drunkenly on her filthy sink. With her sodden hair
and reptilian bags under her eyes she looked
frighteningly like Jonty Bogardus. TUCKT she
exclaimed to her pet warthog Sam Green. She pushed
open her front door to get a breath of fresh air but
instead a stinking waft of dinosaur flatulence seethed
into the room. It was Tanya Paz walking to the
village market to sell her slaves Gregg McNally and
Ruta Fluxgold. Soon all were trudging together to the
castle to pay their dues to the evil collective of cynics
made up of Steve Calvert, Adrian Rainbow and
Ashley Webster. The Ministry of Truth was clanging
along in its unstoppable rhythm of destruction.
"What the FUCK?" piped Sara Martin, Dinos Kirov
and a large rat as they emerged from the den of
iniquity. It was going to be a lousy day. Sure enough,
later that afternoon, there was a commotion in the
castle when Peggy Bloom fell into the moat. Hearing
Editors ..gee page i$
Coordinating Editor Douglas Ferris
News Coordinator Graham Cook
News Editors: Sara Martin, Omar Kassis
Culture Coordinator: Steve Chow
Culture Editor Ted Young-lng
Sports Editor vacant
Photography Coordinator: Siobhan Roantree
Production Manager vacant
year was the first I have read in
four years of study here at UBC. A
nice blend of controversy, humour,
and serious news etc. Everything
one would expect from a student
paper. Keep with it like that and
Fll keep reading it.
Howard Damude
4th year Ph.D.
The Ubyssey welcomes letters on
any Issue. Letters must be typed and
are not to exceed 300 words In
length. Content which Is judged to be
libelous, homophobic, sexist, racist
or factually Incorrect will not be
published. Please be concise. Letters may be edited for brevity, but it
is standard Ubyssey policy not to edit
letters for spelling or grammatical
mistakes. Please bring them, with
WentlfIcatlon,toSUB241K. Letters
must include name, faculty, and
Looking for a way to
Help produce the Ubyssey.
No experience necessary.
SUB 241K
Wanted: photogs
The Ubyssey ran a photo last
week without properly credit
-ing it. The photo outside of
Sedgewick on p. 13 Should
have been credited to Neil
Why let webslinging photogs
get all the glory? The Ubyssey
needs lensmen and women who
can fake pix that click and boss
glossies* Come on in and see,
Student loans will cost you more
by Jonty Bogardus
Well, it's September and that
can only mean one thing. Yes,
student loans are once again in the
For as long as I can remember
(at least three or four years) there
has been some new policy to come
to grips with or a partial breakdown in whatever system the
Awards Office is using to distribute student loans each and every
This year is different only in
the sense that there is both a
plethora of new policies and a new
processing system that has (surprise, surprise) fallen behind
leaving thousands of students still
waiting patiently to receive their
loan documents.
One ofthe (but certainly not
the only) major changes to the
Canada Student Loan (CSL) legislation concerns the six month nonpayment interest-free period that
comes intb effect upon the cessation of full time study (defined as
at least 60% of a full course load).
This policy, in effect since
1964, was partially removed from
the new CSL legislation on August
1 of this year.
For all future loans, including
this years batch, there no longer
exists a six month interesit-free
period. However, there will still
exist a period of six months lbefore
payments on the loan must commence even though interest on the
Dear Readers:
loan will already have been accruing.
For every $1000 in CSL's you
hold this legislative change will
cost you $43.13 (based upon this
years CSLinterestrateof8.625%).
There also exists a retroactive
element to this new legi station that
is slightly disturbing. While all
pre-1993 CSL's will still benefit
from both a six month interest-
free period and a six month delay
prior to the start of repayment, if a
student begins repayment (i.e. is
out of school for longer than six
months) and then subsequently
returns to school (at which time
payments would be suspended)
upon leaving school for the second
time interest woul d begin to accrue
If you have a previous CSL
and are planning to bail down to
Bali for a year before returning to
your studies you will be pissed off
and may be questioning Ottawa's
ability to make this change. After
all, you did sign a contract with the
government/bank that said that
you would receive six months interest-free every time that you left
school, didn't you?
Well, as I was rudely informed
by the CSL head office in Ottawa,
and as was later kindly clarified
for me by Dr. Hickling over in the
Curtis Building, the government
can change legislation (i.e. the law)
any time it wants. The only recourse available to the public is to
appeal to the Charter of Rights.
However, in this case I do not believe that the courts would view
this change as unduly cruel or
Why, as alluded to earlier, this
retroactive change seems to be at
least slightly disturbing is that
agreeing to the conditions specified
on the back of your CSL by no
means guarantees that those will
be the conditions under which you
will be required to pay back your
Theoretically, then, the government could increase the interest rate on our loans by virtually
any amount, require repayment
sooner or cause some level of interest to accrue during your period
of study, all possible if not plausible
considering how much money the
government is currently losing
through its funding of student
So, the moral of the story is
beware ofthe Feds for they are all
powerful (and are looking for ways
to reduce the deficit).
Even changes the PCs made
that appear for the better are
decieving. For the past two years
students who received student
loans have had to pay a three per
cent premium up front on the
amount of their loan. Students no
longer have to pay this tax, however, under these new measures
students will lose money in the
long run.
We apologize for this late run. As we had to utilize
the wonders of 1950's newspaper technology (ie.
markers and gluesticks), this issue is somewhat
lacking in...everything-except soul.
For this, we would like to thankthe AMS executive,
who is responsible for the maintenance of our
Forever yours,
The AMS Frosh Events '93 of
fer you the chance to meet
other first year students, learn
about your membership in the
AMS and have a great time. Be
sure to come out and enjoy the
fantastic events planned for you
in 1993!
Thursday. August 5th -
Saturday, September 4th
AMS Frosh Orientation '93
This tour of the SUB and AMS
begins at the info booth on the
main concourse. For a schedule
of times available, call Lisa
Luscombe, Frosh Coordinatorat
Tuesday. September 7th -
Friday, September 17th
Frosh Info Booth
Outside main doors on SUB
Frosh Survival Kits. Please bring
your AMS/Library card.
i w S A
Wednesday. September 15th
Travel Cuts Bus Tour of
Sign up for this great tour by
calling 822-8998. Meet on north
side of SUB - next to parkade at
3:30. The tour is free, so you can't
go wrong.
Thursday. September 16th
Non-Traditional Students
Are the AMS and UBC meeting
your needs? Drop in for refreshments. Let us help you navigate a
system that was not designed for
you. SUB 207/209,4:30 to 7:00 PM.
Thursday. September 16th
Off Campus University
Students Nite
Bring a friend or cone alone. All
first year students are welcome to
an evening of musicand fun. Food
and beverages provided. Biology
Room 2449, 6:30 to 11:00 PM.
Saturday. September 18th
The AMS Frosh Olympics
A day of great games and good
fun. Try your I uckat such favorites
as Giant Twister and Water Balloon Fights. Don'tmisstheTreasure Hunt. Olympics will be followed by an Awards Ceremony,
BBQ and Video Dance Party. All
events are free. Start your own
team or let us create one for you.
(The only restriction is that each
team must have at least one first
year student.) Don't forget to
bring along some cash for the
BBQ! The games sta rt at I 2:00 at
SUB South Plaza.
AMS Frosh Events Coordinator • Lisa Luscombe
Room 220, 6138 SUB Boulevard • Telephone 822*8998
tf I would like to participate in The AMS Frosh Olympics.
□ I have a team. The members and their student numbers are as follows. There is at least one first-year student per team.
□ Please put me on a team.
Student Name	
School Address	
Permanent Address 	
Student #: .
Mail completed forms to Frosh Olympics, 6138 SUB Boulevaid, Vancouver, BC V6T 1Z1
or drop off in SUB Room 220 or at the Fiosh Info Booth.
Wednesday, September 15 at 6:45 pm
Thursday, September 16 at 10:00 am
Friday, September 17 at 10:00 pm
7/04H f£ip<p44Sl
Friday, September 24 at 6:30 pm
Shabbat, September 25 at 10:00 am
Mcuf. you he. ini&ubed lot a aood and itueet tew tiea/i.
Chabad House
5750 Oak Street
Vancouver, B.C.
Undergrads! Considering your post-
degree options? Check this out!
Higher education doesn't end with
a bachelor's degree. Further intellectual adventure, and better
careeroptions, await you in graduate school.
Get the scoop on
Grad School
Talk to representatives and see
displays set up by a host of UBC
departments and six western Canadian universities: UBC, Simon
Fraser, Calgary, Lethbridge, Saskatchewan and Regina. Hear
talks about admission, funding,
and research at the graduate level.
Take home brochures and application materials to examine and
In one place, at one time, you can
get the information you need to
make the best program choice for
your academic future.
Graduate Student Centre
Ball & Banquet Rooms
Thursday, September 23
12:30-2:30 p.m.
You don't need
a Macintosh just
like you don't need
spring break.
An Apple Macintosh™ computer will help you
cope with the stress of school. Because it's designed
to be exceptionally easy to use, it allows you to
concentrate on what you're doing, not on how to get
your computer to do it.
You'll also find they're competitively priced, so
you can buy superior Macintosh technology for what
you might expect to pay for a PC clone.
And until September 26. 1993, you can save up to
$565 on a wide range of special computer and printer
bundles. And as an added break, there are no monthly
payments for six months.'
So visit us, your Authorized Apple Campus Dealer
for details. There's no better place to buy your Macintosh
than right here on campus because nobody knows your
needs better than we do.
We are open to serve you:
Mon, Tues, Thurs, Fri:
8:30 am-5:00 pm
Wed 8:30 am - 8:30 pm
Sat 9:30 am-5:00 pm
Computer Shop
Authorized Campus Dealer
6200 University Boulevard
Vancouver, B.C., V6T 1Z4
* (604)822-4748
Fax (604)822-8211
E-mail Address:
OAC. Finance offering may vary by province. See in store for complete details. All savings are based on manufacturers' suggested retail prices fur bundle// conjiguralious. from July j 1 In September X / l)'[i Offers map vary and are
available only "while quantities last. Keyboard not included with some bundles. ©IWj.-ipple Computer. Inc. :\j)ple. and the Apple logo are registered trade marks ofA/>/>le Computer. Inc. Macintosh is a trade mark of.-ipple Computer. Inc.


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