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The Ubyssey Jan 12, 2012

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silvers the top 100 21 Page 2101.12.2012
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What's on
This week, may we suggest..
Newton Mangled on a Bissett Home-made,
Electrical Computer: 5-6:30pm @ Coach House,
Green College
Can you describe human interaction with physical equations? If you want
to know more about the history and subject of social physics, i.e. how scientist over time tried to combine physical and social laws, check out this
academic event.
MOA»
A Green Dress: Objects,
Memory and the Museum: 12am
@MoA
An opening of a new exhibition of
selected objects from the MoA's
worldwide collection! It focuses
on the history and memories
that come with ancient objects.
|4 SAT
SLC»
SUN
BORED?»
Don't know what to do on a
Sunday?
Visit the exhibition 75 Years of
Controversy: Canada's Governor
General's Titerary Awards, 1936-
2010 in Irving K Barber.
Try out a class for free on the
LAST DAY of the UBC REC
shopping week!
10th annual UBC Student
Leadership Conference:
8:30am-1:30pm @ Chan Centre
Who doesn't have a big dream or
goal? If you want to know more
about accomplishment, here's
your opportunity. Attend the
Leadership Conference, meet
and listen to inspiring people and
learn how to achieve your personal breakthrough.
POLITICS*
The Good, the Bad and the
Dirty: 5-6:30pm @ Buchanan
A104
David Pizarro's talk about the role
of disgust in moral and politica
judgment. He reviews the predictability of disgust depending on
one's political orientation and
how it relates to the conservative
end of the spectrum.
Got an event you'd like to see on this page? Send your event
and your best pitch to printeditor@ubyssey.ca.
THEUBYSSEY
January 12,2012, Volume XCIII, Issue XXX
EDITORIAL
Coordinating Editor
Justin McElroy
coordinating@u bysseyca
Managing Editor, Print
Jonny Wakefield
orinteciitor@ubys:eyca
Managing Editor, Web
Arshy Mann
webeditor@ubysseyca
News Editors
Kalyeena Makortoff
& Micki Cowan
news@u bysseyca
Art Director
Geoff Lister
a rt@u bysseyca
Culture Editor   4
Ginny Monaco
culture@u bysseyca
Senior Culture Writers
Taylor Loren &
Will Johnson   1
tloren@ubysseyca
wjohnson@u bysseyca
Sports Editor
Drake Fenton
sports@u bysseyca
Features Editor
Brian Piatt
featu res@u bysseyca
Copy Editor
Karina Palmitesta
copy@ubysseyca
Video Editor
David Marino
video@ubysseyca
Business Manager
Fernie Pereira
ousiness@u bysseyca
Ad Sales
Ben Chen
advertising@u bysseyca
Senior Web Writer Accounts
Andrew Bates S[fat Hasan
abates@ubysseyca a ceo unts@u bysseyca
Graphics Assistant
Indiana Joel
ijoel@u bysseyca
Webmaster
Jeff Blake
webmaster@u bysseyca
STAFF
Andrew Hood, Bryce Warnes.
Catherine Guan, David Elop
Jon Chiang Josh Curran, Wil
McDonald, Tara Martellaro
Virginie Menard,Scott
MacDonald, Anna Zoria.
Peter Wojnar, Tanner Bokor
Dominic Lai, Mark-Andre
Gessaroli, Natalya Kautz, Ka
un, RJ Reid
CONTACT
Business Office: Room 23
Editorial Office: Room 24
Student Union Building
6138 Student Union Blvd
Vancouver, BCV6T1Z1
tel: 604.822.2301
web: www.llbyssey.ca
feedback@ubyssey.ca
Print Advertising:
604.822.1654
Business Office:
604.822.6681
advertising
@ubyssey.ca
LEGAL
The Ubyssey Is the official student newspaper ofthe University of
British Columbia. It is published every Monday and Thursday by The
Jbyssey Publications Society We
are an autonomous democratically
"un student organization, and all stu-
Ire encouraged to participate,
torials are chosen and written
Jbyssey staff. They are the
sed opinion of the staff, and
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Jbyssey Publications Society
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n The Ubyssey is the property of
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Stories opinions, photographs and
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reproduced without the expressed,
written permission of The Ubyssey
Publications Society.
The Ubyssey is afounding member of Canadian University Press
(CUP) and adheres to CUPs guiding principles.
Letters to the editor must be under 300wr :   -'^~-~.^ - Judeyour
jnstude
ler"- are
itc
lythel
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slight changes or typographical errors that do not lessen the value or
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Our Campus
One on one with
the people who
make UBC
COURTESY OF DAVED BENEFIELD
Former CFL star Daved Benefield, seen with his kids, says that juggling school, work and fatherhood "is the hardest thing in the world"
Back in school: Daved Benefield
Will McDonald
StaffWriter
Daved Benefield never thought he
would play pro football, but he's
played in the CFL and NFL. He
said he's been "told he supposedly has a talent for writing," and
he's contributed to Time magazine and was a columnist for The
Province and Winnipeg Sun. He's
also worked as a football analyst
for the CBC.
Growing up in California,
Benefield never dreamed of playing pro football. But after standing
out on the football field at Cal State
Northridge, he ended up playing in
the CFL.
"I wound up in Canada, like a lot
of guys, not knowing really what
the hell was goingto happen to me
next, but knowing that I was accidentally chasing football."
After performing well in the
CFL, Benefield got a chance to play
for the San Francisco 49ers.
"For me it was just too funny...
It just kind of blew me away that
here I am one minute in Canada
How shall I
speak thee,
or thy power address
Thou God of
our idolatry,
the Press....
Like Eden's
d4ad probationary tree,
Knowledge
of good and
evil is from
thee.
-William Cowper
Yeah, what he said! So come
write for The Ubyssey. Or
make pictures or radios or
designs.
JustinMcElroy
coordinating@ubyssey.ca
and the next minute I'm getting
ready to play for the 49ers," he
said.
His NFL career was derailed by
a knee injury. He returned to the
CFL and played for the BC Lions,
Winnipeg Blue Bombers and
Saskatchewan Roughriders.
Benefield arrived at UBC last
year to work on an English degree
that was interrupted by his professional football career. Itwas a
difficult transition, especially for
a father of two children, who are
currently five and six years old.
"It is the hardest thing in the
world," he said of juggling school,
work and fatherhood.
"Doing papers, trying to sound
academic when I haven't had to
sound academic or write an academic paper...It's totally different.
It's a completely different way of
thinking."
Benefield hopes to get his degree so he has the option to work
in the NFL offices.
He is currently a defensive line
coach for UBC football.
"I'm a defensive line coach, but
unfortunately, when you spend 14
years playing pro football, there's
a lot of stuff that just doesn't miss
your eye."
He said UBC's forfeits were
tough to take, but he's not angry.
"You know everyone is out trying to do the right thing...I'm too
laid back, especially just the way
it happened. If we were trying to
be dirty, or we were trying to get
away with something, I'd be real
ticked off..It was just an honest
mistake. And honest mistakes,
they happen."
Accordingto Benefield, the
worst thing about UBC is the lack
of school spirit.
"Why don't we have a lot of
school spirit? There's no excuse.
That's the biggest bummer of actually being involved in sports, is just
the lack of student body support."
Benefield currently works as
a colour commentator for Shaw
Canada West Football.
"I just try to bring a lot of emotion and energy to our conference
because I think our guys deserve
it." ta
• Designed primarily for non-business undergraduates
• For careers in Management, Finance and Accounting
• Extremely high co-op and permanent placement
To learn more about the MMPA Program, attend our information session:
Thursday, January 12 2012 11:00 am- 1:00 pm
Room 191, Irving K. Barber Learning Centre, 1 961 East Mall, University of British Columbia
www.utoronto.ca/mmpa News»
Editors: Kalyeena Makortoff & Micki Cowan
01.12.2012 | 3
BLOGS »
AMS cuts Voter-Funded Media budget by $7000 for the 2012 elections
Andrew Bates
Senior Web Writer
Voter-Funded Media (VFM) is set to
return, but it'll be back with funding
cuts and a short roster of blogs as
the deadline for applications arrives
on Friday.
The contest is funded through
the AMS elections budget and distributes money to competing blogs
writing about the election. Students
registered to vote in the elections
can also vote to divide the money
amongst the blogs.
In past years, $8000 was set aside
for the VFM. In 2011, $6000 was devoted to funding blogs continuously
throughout the year, rather than
just during elections. But this year,
the funding will be limited to $1000,
to be split among all the contestants.
Accordingto AMS elections administrator Carolee Changfoot, the
reason for the reduction is to see if it
changes involvement in the contest.
"For the former years, it was a
lot of money..and it would often
go down to the same blogs repeatedly..It just wasn't money people
were engaging with as much," she
said. "What the executive wanted
to see next year is maybe if we could
get more engagement coming out
from...more of UBC than the same
blogs over and over."
But Changfoot says there are no
new candidates yet. "That's why
we're still trying to get the blog
squad people to be interested," she
said. In her search for candidates,
VFM coordinator Amy Chan has
contacted the UBC Blogsquad, a
community of first- and second-
year students hosted through the
Centre for Teaching, Learning and
Technology.
However, with the lack of monetary incentive, some say it may be
harder to find new writers. "The
benefit of putting more time in is
now less," said Mark Latham, who
initiated the VFM program in 2006
and runs votermedia.org. "With less
money in the contest, it's a little
harder to get peoples' attention."
Neal Yonson, an editor for the
UBC Insiders blog, agrees, but
notes that money isn't everything.
"Having money available for
independent media I would say is
useful to convince people to start
one up. But if they want to keep going, it's because they want to—not
because ofthe money," he said.
Yonson said the system has suffered from the lack of a full-time
administrator after Latham handed
the program back to the AMS. "For
the last little while, you know, Mark
Latham hasn't been really hands-
on like he was at the beginning," he
said. "Without that person who's actually keeping an eye on it, it's easy
for it to slip through the cracks." 13
RESIDENCE »
Totem gets compensation for cold water
Will McDonald
StaffWriter
Residents ofthe new Totem Park
houses are being compensated for
the unreliable hotwater situation
they experienced last term.
Students residing in h m'l S m
and q' I   n were given $240 and
$220, respectively, for the inconsistency in water temperature. The
compensation, provided by Student
Housing and Hospitality Services
(SHHS), was pro-rated for students
who only stayed part ofthe term.
Aside from the monetary compensation, SHHS replaced major
components ofthe water heating
system over the winter break to ensure a constant supply of hot water.
"The compensation was primarily about the hot water because that
was an ongoing issue and a long
term issue and one of significant
disruption and inconvenience to
students," said Andrew Parr, managing director of SHHS.
According to Parr, the new water
heating system was unable to keep
up with the demand in the new
houses.
"I should note that while it was a
very real problem, it wasn't a constant problem all the time. It was
during high peak times," he said.
Parr said the duration ofthe
problem was due to the new sustainable water heating system.
"Being new technology, they
had a really difficult time finding
what the problem actually was," he
added.
However, accordingto
h m'l S mresident Brendan Lau,
the problem hasn't been solved.
"I don't know if the issue has
really been resolved yet...It hasn't
been cold since, but it's been lukewarm fairly often. You rarely get
News briefs
Order of Canada for UBC prof
and alumnus
UBC adjunct professor James
McEwen and alumnus David
Northcott have been named to the
Order of Canada.
McEwen. an adjunct professor
in UBC's Faculty of Medicine and
Faculty of Applied Science, was
appointed to the Order of Canada
for his contributions to biomedica
engineering.
Northcott. an alumnus who graduated in 1976. is being honoured for
his commitment to fighting poverty
and hunger in Canada.
The Order of Canada is one of
Canada's highest civilian honours. It
recognizes a lifetime of achievement
and contribution to society
Residents of two new Totem Park buildings dealt with late construction and a lack of hot water last semester
GOEFF LISTEmHE UBYSSEY
really hot showers," said Lau.
Residents have complained
about other problems in the new
Totem buildings, including exposed wires, unfinished construction and broken elevators.
"There were problems with the
elevators...I was on the seventh
floor so it did bother me. But it got
fixed," said h m'l s m resident
Gigi Mehta.
According to Parr, the issues
with the new houses were the result of an aggressive construction
schedule, but they didn't pose serious threats.
"We built those buildings in 23
months..There were a few things
that had to be done after students
Memorial to be held for
murdered UBC student
A memorial for UBC student Ximena
Osegueda. who was murdered in
Mexico, will be held later this month.
As Osegueda was a practicer of
the Brazilian martial art dance of
capoeira. a dance has been scheduled in her honour sometime after
January 12 at the Capoeira Ache Brasil
Academy at 341 E Broadway.
Audrey Silver, a supervisor at the
dance academy where Osegueda
was a member for more than a decade, said capoeira was Osegueda's
speciality.
Osegueda went missing December
13. According to Mexican media, her
body was found partially buried at a
Huatulco beach early last week.
moved in. None of those were, as
per code, and as per inspectors, life
safety issues. But there were definitely some deficiencies that students had to deal with for a short
time during first term," said Parr.
Other students, such as q' I   n
resident Jesse Doran, didn't think
the lack of hot water was really a
problem.
"I honestly think it's funny.
People complained about it and we
got paid. It really wasn't that big
of a deal. It was lukewarm water. I
live in a new building," said Doran.
This isn't the first time students have been compensated for
problems in their residence. "We're
not setting a new precedent by
Vancouver works to fix shared
helmet dilemma
UBC and TransLink have said
they're willing to be partners in the
much-anticipated Vancouver bike-
share system by providing space
and marketing.
Vancouver hopes to be the first
city with mandatory helmet laws to
create a bike-share system.
The bike-helmet sanitizing machine and disposable helmet liners
are two ideas that private companies have pitched to Vancouver
They are both intended to help to
solve the problem of communal
helmets.
Vancouver's lengthy bid process has also had to contend with
finances and sidewalk space.
[compensating residents]. There's
many situations where different types of compensation will be
given to individual students," said
Parr.
He added that construction
issues in residences are infrequent and are lessened by summer
maintenance.
"One ofthe benefits is that we
have entire summers to close the
buildings down...and do significant
maintenance and cyclical upgrades
so that lessens these issues arriving when students are in place,"
he said.
"We pride ourselves in taking
care of our buildings as best we
can." tH
UBC student charged for taking
part in Stanley Cup riots
Crown counsel has approved
charges against UBC student Camille
Cacnio for her role in the Stanley
Cup riot.
She has been charged with taking
part in a riot and breaking and entering, the Vancouver police confirmed
in a news release Monday.
Cacnio was one of a number
of people identified on so-called
name-and-shame websites and
online social media pages, with her
photo, name and other identifying information posted for public
consumption.
To date. 30 people have been
charged with a total of 77 charges
related to the riot. 13
CONSTRUCTION »
Memorial Road
renovations to
beautify walkway
Kevin Zeng
Contributor
The never-ending renovation cycle
at UBC continues, with Memorial
Road as the newest recipient ofthe
university's attention.
Plans for the renovations on the
road, which connects Buchanan,
Lasserre and the Music building,
were presented at the January 11
open house.
Construction begins around
June and will be completed this
year.
The idea is to pedestrianize
the old campus core and limit
vehicle traffic, according to Dean
Gregory, the campus landscape
architect with UBC Campus and
Community Planning.
Along with added seating, all
ofthe asphalt will be replaced by
pavement and executive parking
stalls will be removed.
"The plan is to create universal
access across the campus, meaning that where there are stairs or
other impenetrable grade changes
for people with wheelchair or
other disabilities, we want to make
it easier for people to travel across
the campus," said Gregory.
Some Arts students are concerned about the disruption it will
cause to classes in Buchanan.
"The noise is probably the largest irritation, but UBC seems to
be pretty good at ensuring that
noisy work is done in off hours,"
said Danny Urquhart, a fifth-year
political science student.
"The worst rerouting was last
year when the courtyard in front
of Buch D was closed off so anyone
who was trying to get to Buch D
pretty much had to go through a
narrow corridor in Buch C.
"I think it was disturbing to all
the profs who had offices in that
hallway."
The Seattle-based company
Karen Kiest Landscape Architects
will be doing the renovations.
Kiest said the project is designed with environmental
preservation in mind, including
improved and more sustainable
storm drainage, underdrained
walkways and flowering cherry
trees. 13 41 News 101.12.2012
ACADEMIC FRAUD»
Fraudulent researchers held accountable
Names, nature of guilty academics' misconduct to be made public
Alison Mah
Contributor
Students found guilty of academic
misconduct have their infractions
documented on their transcripts—
and now there's an equivalent
for university researchers who
have committed major academic
violations.
Canada's three largest research
agencies have jointly created the
Panel on Responsible Conduct of
Research in part to introduce a new
process that would make public the
names of academics who have committed serious misconduct.
"I think the system we had before
did not protect the public interest
adequately, and I do think it's a step
in the right direction," said Michael
McDonald, a UBC Ethics researcher. "It's not only the public's money,
but also the public's confidence that
we're doing an appropriate job."
The panel, part ofthe new Tri-
Agency Framework: Responsible
Conduct of Research, was adopted
in December 2011 by the Canadian
Institutes in Health Research
(CIHR), the Natural Sciences and
Engineering Research Council of
Canada (NSERC) and the Social
Sciences and Humanities Research
Council of Canada (SSHRC).
All researchers applying for
public funding are now required to
sign a consent form allowing the
agencies, in cases of major breaches
of policy, to openly disclose the
name ofthe researcher, the nature
ofthe breach and where it occurred,
and the institution where the researcher is currently employed.
Serious academic misconduct
includes the misappropriation of
funds, false reporting of data and
the deliberate misuse of research
grant funds for personal benefit.
The new rule comes in light of
mounting pressure from media and
critics for the enforcement of transparency and accountability in what
was perceived as an unnecessary
privacy measure for researchers.
The names of guilty academics
were previously withheld from the
public due to privacy concerns, and
in some cases, fear from universities
over lawsuits or potential harm to
the institution's image.
"I commented on a case that received a lot of publicity in Alberta,"
said McDonald. "The researcher
was asked bythe university to return the money that had been misspent on things such as snow tires
and entertainment equipment. He
said he would return the money if
his name wasn't publicized."
One ofthe largest issues still
unaddressed in the new research
framework is the lack of an established system for handling allegations of misconduct across Canadian
universities. The agencies do not
Researchers can no longer commit fraud and not be held accountable
HORIAANDREI/VARLANC
have the legislated mandate to
inquire into allegations of misconduct and must rely on universities to
conduct individual investigations.
Each charge is then sent to Ottawa,
where the panel acts on the basis of
the reports provided.
"I understand that it's a concern,"
said Susan Zimmerman, Research
Ethics Board director of CIHR.
"This new panel will help ensure
that if one researcher has breached
policy, the response from the agencies will at least be coordinated.
One panel will be advising all three
presidents."
John Hepburn, UBC VP Research
and International, attributed the
absence of a governing body to the
differences between provincial
jurisdiction and federal jurisdiction. "The universities are the
responsibilities ofthe provinces."
In his six years working at UBC,
Hepburn said there have been no
major cases of scholarly misconduct, and that almost all accusations
came from a breakdown in research
relationships. "People get angry
with one another and the accusations start flying, and they're essentially all unfounded."
Like Hepburn, Zimmerman
is quick to reject the notion that
scholarly misconduct is an issue in
Canada.
"[The naming of guilty academics] is not premised on the understanding that there is a great deal
of misconduct," Zimmerman said.
"Quite the contrary. It's just to ensure that in those rare cases of serious breaches of agency policy, there
is a recourse where the public can
find out about it."
In the past two years, the CIHR,
NSERC and SSHRC combined have
pursued 40 cases of alleged academic misconduct. Only eight cases
of actual academic misconduct were
found.
And as for whether he and his
UBC co-researchers will begin
double-checking all their findings in
light ofthe new rule, McDonald said
that diligent research was already
the status quo.
"I think most of us who do research try to abide by the rules with
integrity." 13
UNA»
Residents seek change
RFC takes issue with campus development
TannerBokor
StaffWriter
Residents in the University
Neighbourhoods Association (UNA)
are frustrated over issues ranging
from local representation on the
UNA board to continuing development in the Wesbrook Village area.
An ad hoc faction called
Residents For Change (RFC) began
last year after Promontory condominium residents protested a
hospice that was slated to be built
next door. RFC currently has a core
membership of 20 residents.
"We are unhappy with the UNA,
which is supposed to be our form of
municipal government that should
be representing residents," said RFC
member and Hampton Place resident Kathy Griffiths.
"We're unhappy with their ineffectiveness, and we're unhappy with
the university in that we feel that
we're being treated like a cash cow."
Most recently, UBC's proposal for
increased density in South Campus
caused a backlash from residents
living in Wesbrook Place. While the
UNA takes care of general administration of residential areas on campus, UBC continues to be in charge
of land development, which has led
to clashes between residents and the
university.
UNA board chair Prod Laquian is
in support of resident participation.
"To me, a plan is never carved in
stone," Laquian said. "Every time
a developer puts together a plan to
build a 15 or 18 storey tower, [residents'] voices should fully be heard,"
said Laquian.
Beyond the towers, RFC members
say they're unhappy with the composition ofthe UNA board and that
Prod Laquian is the new chair of the UNA
it should be more representative of
residents.
The UNA board currently has
seven members, two Board of
Governors appointees, one AMS rep
and four elected residents.
"There are two representatives appointed bythe Board of
Governors on UNA council and I
think that we shouldn't have them
on council—in the same way that
the Vancouver Board of Trade can't
be on the Vancouver City Council,"
said Griffiths.
Laquian believes the BoG representatives have a place within the
UNA, but not necessarily a vote.
"I agree with their presence,
because we are judicially responsible to UBC, but I also believe their
CATHERINE LAIATHE UBYSSEY
voting rights should be limited to
any activity within the UNA related
to finance," Laquian said, as opposed to issues like board structure.
"They are not elected bythe residents ofthe UNA."
However, Laquian also stresses
that the onus is on residents to be
active when issues arise. "This is
your government, you have access to
direct government, and please come
in and express your will, otherwise,
then you keep quiet and don't object
when decisions are made without
your input."
"[Give] us more than five minutes
at a board meeting to bring something up," Griffiths said. "You're
sort of required to jump through
bureaucratic hoops." 13
COMPLAINTS))
AMS to formalize prof
complaint policy
Elise Grieg
Contributor
The AMS wants to make sure that
negative professor evaluations get a
similar response across all faculties
at UBC.
"In the [current] policy, it states
that the faculties must have some
response to teaching that has been
identified and...there are faculties that are not currently uphold-
ingthat side ofthe policy," said VP
Academic Matt Parson.
"We would like to see something
a bit more formalized within the
faculty level of what the responses
should be to people that are identified within the evaluations as coming up short."
Parson said that even though the
current policy "doesn't specifically
stipulate what the response should
be or how intensive it needs to be,"
the Faculty of Science is already
doing very well responding to substandard evaluations.
But Geraldine Pratt, associate
dean of faculty equity in the Faculty
of Arts, said they take the evaluations very seriously, and that the
evaluations affect salary and achieving tenure.
"In Arts...peer reviews are being
done as well," said Pratt, explaining
that there are a number of programs
in place to help professors improve
their teaching. "[If someone gets
bad scores], I'm sure the head [ofthe
department] would advise them to
access those courses.
"I think a concern, in the Faculty
of Arts anyway, is that not enough
students actually fill out the student
evaluations," she said.
But publicizing the evaluations
themselves has also been proposed
to increase accountability.
Anna Kindler, vice provost and
associate vice president academic
affairs, co-chaired a committee
meant to revise student evaluations.
Kindler explained that the evaluations are under the BC privacy
legislation.
"The student evaluations of
teaching are considered...personal
information. We don't have the
ability to release this information
without the consent ofthe person
to whom the information pertains,"
said Kindler.
She recommended that students
become more vocal about wanting access to the course evaluation
responses and—if a professor agrees
to its release—the evaluations could
made available online.
"I think that...signals from the
students that this information is valued will encourage faculty members
to be...more willingto release their
results," said Kindler.
Parson said that UBC's evaluations would be a more reliable
resource for students, rather than
letting them resort to the uncertain
ratings of sites like ratemyprof.com.
"[There is] potential for a good
bank of evaluations of professors being able to guide students with their
course selection process," he said.
But if no progress can be made
on publicizing evaluations, Parson
hopes to at least guarantee a more
a formal protocol for dealing with
poor evaluations.
"A big part of it has to do with
there are so many things going on:
there's countless policies, and it
might have just flown under the
radar a little bit," he said. tH
—with files from Tanner Bokor » Brian Topp
Nathan Cullen Niki Ashton
Peggy Nash »
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COMEDY))
Funny people in East Vancouver
East Van Comedy collective aims to make people laugh or something like that
Will Johnson
Senior Culture Writer
A new comedy collective is setting
up shop on Commercial Drive, and
they're looking to mess with your
expectations.
"We're not looking for the
Russell Peters, polished comedy for
the masses," said Alistair Cook, the
organizer of the East Van Comedy
collective. "There's this term that
gets used a lot: 'alternative comedy
scene.' But it's been around a very,
very longtime."
Cook said he wanted to capitalize on the unique brand of experimental East Vancouver comedy
that has been thriving recently by
bringing a number of acts together.
"This is where we live, and
where we perform," he said.
"I looked around, and tried to
find acts that had a potential for
growth. I wanted to find who was
working in the area, who was a
vanguard, who was breaking new
ground."
Cook compared experimental
comedy to scientific research and
development. "But instead of making some drug that makes you a
billion dollars, instead you get a bit
part as a funny neighbour in some
sitcom," he said.
Cook has signed the Laugh
Gallery, Teen Angst Night, Instant
Theatre Company, Say Wha? and
a number of others to his line-up.
Some of these shows have been
going on for nearly a decade, while
others are relatively new.
And starting this month, they
will all be performing semi-regular shows together on Sunday
and Monday nights at Havana
restaurant.
Ghost Jail, a theatre troupe that
originated in Ontario, is one ofthe
main acts. The performers improvise a comedy show for a live audience without notes or forethought.
Each month they will select a
theme from a piece of writing provided bythe audience and perform
their take on it.
"This show was a hit in Toronto
for five years, before they came
over to Vancouver," said Cook.
"We're floored to have them
involved."
Cook said one of his main priorities was to get Sara Bynoe and
Graham Clark involved, two performers he called "two parts in the
puzzle of East Van comedy."
Bynoe has two trademark shows
she has been performing for the
decade. The first is Teen Angst
Poetry, an open mic night where
people read embarrassingly awful
poetry.
The second is Say Wha?, an
evening where performers share
stories from truly awful literature.
She has become a Vancouver icon
in the comedy scene, and said she
is thrilled to find a new venue for
her shows.
"I feel like I've been in this no
man's land," she said. "I've got a
theatre and a writing degree, and I
think my shows leave people a little
confused. They're asking, Ts this
comedy? Is this literary?' It's not
traditional stand-up."
Bynoe said she is excited about the
new venue. She feels Havana will be
a unique space to perform her shows.
"Havana is a destination on its own,"
COURTESY THEFURIOUS ANGER FUN HOUR
These young men, The Furious Anger Fun Hour, will act like fools for your amusement
she said. "I mean, creative types just
tend to congregate there."
Bynoe said she is excited about
the cross-pollination that will occur when these disparate acts come
together. She's already been invited
to open for Ghost Jail.
"There's going to be a lot of mixing and collaboration," she said.
Graham Clark, the organizer of
the Laugh Gallery, is also thrilled
to have found a home at Havana.
Over the last decade he's hosted
his variety show in a number of
locations, mainly in restaurants
and bars. Having a devoted theatre
space will make a big difference,
he said.
"It's neat for performers to have
a venue that's not a bar," he said.
"I'm goingto let the format
evolve because I'll be able to try
things I never could before. It's a
whole new, free-wheelin' world."
Clarke said his show will have
a continuously shuffling line-up,
with brand-new material each
time.
Former performers at the Laugh
Gallery include Shane Koyczan and
Zack Galifianakis, and his show has
launched a number of other comedy
careers as well. "Now we're going
to get comics trying to pull off stuff
they could never try in a restaurant
or a bar," he said.
And Cook was quick to point out
something else: "Pretty much every
show has a discount ifyou have a
receipt from Havana," he said.
"So we're pretty much payingyou
to drink." 13
Student Legal Fund
Society of UBC
A
BC Civil Liberties
Association
KNOW YOUR RIGHTS
ON CAMPUS! WORKSHOP
An informative workshop about your academic, civic, and constitutional rights on
campus addressing any questions you may have as a student including how to
deal with academic misconducts and academic disputes.
Thursday, Jan.12th, 4:00pm-5:30pm
at Allard Hall (Law Building)-Room 104
Refreshments Provided ||||i,
i||i   Student Legal
1   / Fund Society
Please RSVP at slfsdirectors@gmail.com ^j^ J
• Designed primarily for non-business undergraduates
• For careers in Management, Finance and Accounting
• Extremely high co-op and permanent placement
To learn more about the MMPA Program, attend our information session:
Thursday, January 12 2012 11:00 am - 1:00 pm
Room 191, Irving K. Barber Learning Centre, 1961 East Mall, University of British Columbia
www.utoronto.ca/mmpa
lulture free stuff
Ginny write staff ad text I culture@ubyssey.ca Opinion »
B Editor- Rrian Piatt
01.12.2012 | IQ
FOR THE LAST TIME, PRIME MINISTER,
VIE CAN'T ?ICX PON CHERRY FOR THE
POET LAUREATE1.
NDIANAJOEL/THE UBYSSEY
The Last Word
Parting shots and snap judgments on today's issues
Poetry in Parliament
On December 14, The Globe and
Mail published a story calling for
the federal government to fill the
Parliamentary Poet Laureate (PPL)
position, which had been vacant
since April. Less than a week
later, the government announced
Vancouver-based poet Fred Wah
would be taking on the two-year
assignment.
The PPL is given an annual
stipend of $20,000 and a budget
for programming, translation and
administrative expenses. The idea is
that the poet will introduce poetry
into the Parliament on special occasions, sponsor poetry readings and
help the Parliamentary Library with
acquisitions. But the post (created in
2001) has become primarily a ceremonial one, and that's problematic.
Given the Harper government's
blatant disregard for arts and culture, appointing the PPL is a quick
way to pacify critics without making any substantive policy decisions. Let's hope that Wah takes the
initiative to make whatever small
changes he can that will benefit the
Canadian literary community, because we know that Harper lias no
intention of ever doing so.
The sad state of Voter-Funded
Media
One thing seems certain about
Voter-Funded Media (VFM) for
this election: there will hardly be
any of it.
VFM, ifyou didn't know, is a
program that makes a pot of money
available for blogs that cover the
AMS. Students then vote to give
each blog a proportion of that
money, based on how well the blog
was written. The intention is to get
more students involved in student
politics—and to drive up turnout at
the voting booth.
When VFM first started, it was
quite successful, with many diverse
blogs popping up to cover the election (a separate fund is sometimes
made available to cover the AMS
throughout the rest ofthe year.)
But lately the number of blogs
participating in VFM has dwindled
both in quantity and quality.
The biggest problem is the lack
of advertising around VFM. When
the program has been successful, it
has been advertised months ahead
of time and draws in students who
aren't already within the inner
circle of student politics.
We've said it before: we want to
see as many VFMs as possible. It
makes the election more lively, and
it keeps us on our toes. We hope
the AMS gets its act together on
this next year, and starts advertising the program early in the fall
instead of at the last minute.
The UNA still needs a reform
movement
Last month we published a letter
from some campus residents who
were upset about how the University
Neighbourhood Association (UNA)
was operating. The group was called
Residents for Change, it was led in
part by Eleanor Laquian, and they
weren't mincing words.
The UNA, accordingto the letter,
"suffers from a crippling bureaucracy caused by the authoritarian
rule of its hired bureaucrats and
some directors too busy or beholden to UBC to support its feudal
practices."
Now it should be pointed out that
Prod Laquian, husband of Eleanor,
has just become the UNA's chair
and president. Eleanor declined to
speak to us for our news story on the
topic, citing a conflict of interest. To
which we say: uh, yeah.
This very odd situation aside (a
husband running an organization
his wife is leading a reform effort
against), we hope the Residents for
Change stick around, because the
UNA needs that outside pressure;
without it, they will remain a mostly
powerless faux city council with
little incentive to change.
Baby steps on addressing
ballooning student debt
The federal government is taking
steps towards improving the student
loan program. Starting later this
year, part-time students are goingto
be treated more like full-time stu-
detns, and will not accrue interest
on their loans until their studies are
completed.
And that's great. But it's not
enough.
Bythe federal government's own
estimates, student debt in Canada
will pass the ceiling of $15 billion
by 2013. While it's likely that the
government will seek to raise the
debt ceiling—as they did in 2000,
increasing it from $5 billion to $10
billion—there should be more of an
effort to decrease debt. The ceiling
is set for a reason.
A population riddled with debt is
a dangerous situation, as the debt
crisis of our southern neighbours
reminds us. We're not goingto solve
the problem if the government is
only willing to take baby steps away
from the pitfall we are heading
towards.
A thank you speech in advance
One thing we try to do at The
Ubyssey is highlight some ofthe
amazingly dedicated and talented
students on this campus, many of
whom are outdoing their counterparts at schools across Canada.
But now we're happy to report
that, amazingly, some of those students are, um, us.
This weekend, the John H.
McDonald awards for campus
journalism are being presented;
they're like the Oscars, except for
broke and unglamourous Canadian
student journalists. The shortlist for
the Johnnies is compiled by professional journalists working at top
media outlets. The Ubyssey secured
seven nominations for six different awards; no other paper in the
country has more than four. It's a
wonderful honour and a validation
ofthe hard work we do.
And while there are no winning
speeches at these things, there's no
doubt that UBC students would be
first and foremost in ours. Whether
we win six awards or zero, we'll
thank you in advance anyway, because a great community paper is
the product of its community. 13
The journalism
revolution is over
Editor's
Notebook
Justin
McElroy
If you've ever had an urge to commit some low-level mischief on
campus without fear of media reporting it, now's your chance!
(Hint, hint, engineers.)
Right now, myself and the staff
of The Ubyssey are in Victoria for
the annual national conference
of Canadian University Press, of
which we and most campus papers
in this country are members of.
There, we and 300 other young
journalists are learning tips ofthe
trade from people we emulate,
drinking far too much cheap beer,
and tweeting a fair number of very
nerdy and insular jokes (which you
can read, ifyou are so inclined, via
the #nash74 hashtag).
I mention this only because,
in past years, these events would
involve a lot of talk from young and
old alike about how Journalism Is
Changing Because ofthe Internet.
It's a conversation that has
gripped everyone in the past decade. Newspapers have died, niche
online publications have flourished
and everyone has wondered when
a stable business and publishing
model will arise.
When young journalists talk
now, that conversation doesn't happen as much. We've more or less
caught up to the needs of online
readers, who demand (and deserve)
news about our university when
it happens. We tend not to worry
about what the future ofjournalism will be—and that's because the
future is here.
Writers who once achieved
prominence through syndication
now disseminate their personal
brands online for all the world to
read. We have large, prestigious
newspapers like The New York
Times and The Wall Street Journal
now charging for premium online
content. We have sprawling free
websites like The Huffington Post
and The Daily Beast, which do some
quality work but get most of their
traffic from rewritten stories and
slideshows ofthe Kardashians.
(Note: All of this is slowly coming into Canada too. Ifyou want to
consistently read interesting things
online, you're probably goingto
have to start paying for it soon.
Terribly sorry.)
And social media, that wonderful
thing which will benefit everything
under the sun? Well, it's pretty
much a fact of life now, with every
journalist under 40 worth their salt
fully plugged in. The revolution is
mostly over, in terms of how you
get the news.
But this isn't a bad thing. Alfred
Hermida, a UBC journalism professor and a man much, much smarter
than I, wrote, "Technologies reach
their full potential when we forget
about the novelty. Instead they
become boring and blend into the
background. How often do we
think about the technology behind
the telephone, or the television set
in our living room?"
That's where we're at these days
in journalism. Old rules have been
dashed, new tools have been established. And the obsession of journalists is back on the message, after
years of being about the medium.
So back here on campus, instead
of focusing on where the story
will be published, or how it will be
spread, or how we're going to get
paid for it, our mind is back on how
to tell the story as well as we possibly can. tH
UBC's biking commute
routes are unsafe
Letters
As a regular cyclist commuting
from Main and 41stto UBC, I get
nervous every time I bike on SW
Marine Drive between Camosun
and West 16th Avenue (UBC campus). Unofficially, people often
refer to this road as the UBC highway, and for good reason.
Last night on my commute home
on SW Marine, I witnessed the
aftermath of a car which ended up
in the ditch, several metres off the
road. Drivers and cyclists stopped
to attend to the victim and called
for emergency assistance. The
accident reminded me of how dangerous travelling this provincially-
owned road can be. Following
sunset, the road is incredibly dark,
making it dangerous for cyclists
and drivers alike. Cyclists travel
only feet away from buses, trucks
and cars travelling at speeds in
excess of 90km/h. At these speeds,
the smallest error could leave a
cyclist dead.
I urge UBC and the AMS to lobby
the provincial government to make
this stretch of SW Marine Drive
safer for cyclists and motorists. UBC
loves to remind us of its sustainability achievements, and yes, much has
been accomplished. Yet we must do
more and demand more.
Many students live in south
Vancouver, and SW Marine Drive is
the shortest bike route to campus.
If I don't feel safe biking on this
road, as a seasoned, white, male,
22-year-old commuter cyclist,
then how are we to expect other
less confident cyclists to feel safe
and comfortable biking this road?
Would we expect a 75-year-old
grandmother to feel comfortable
cycling SW Marine Drive?
We should demand that the
province improve the street lighting and, ideally, create separate
bike lanes through concrete barriers on these roads:
-SW Marine Drive from West 16th
Avenue to Kullahun Drive
-University Boulevard from Blanca
Avenue to campus
-Chancellor Boulevard
-West 16th Avenue from Blanca
Avenue to Wesbrook Mall
Buses are overcrowded, and
the university seems unable to
get single-occupant vehicles trips
below one-third of commutes. We
must demand investments in better
transit and cycling infrastructure.
Cycling is a significant part ofthe
solution, and it must receive adequate attention.
—Andy Longhurst
Arts 4 Scene»
Pictures and words on your university experience
01.12.2012 | 11
HUMOUR »
The Pacific Spirit Stroker
Why does this man choose to stalk the woods, getting himself off with his hands?
Wames's
World
Bryce
Warnes
Wames's World is a new humour column that will appear in
The Ubyssey this term. You may
remember Bryce from "The25
Queries of Student D," and "Slightly
Humourous Unsigned Editorials
from The Ubyssey in 2010."In this
space, Warnes will explore some of
the events making news at UBC.
This week: the masturbating man in
Pacific Spirit Park.
Earlier this month, police warned
the public that a man has been
running around Pacific Spirit Park
stimulating his engorged penis
in front of women—"around a
dozen" accordingto Sun Media. In
a different context, this might be
considered performance art. But at
night in a remote area with an audience of one, it is sexual assault.
Despite my own proclivity for public masturbation—in the form of
this column—let it be known that I
condemn this man's actions.
Despite his sexually violent and,
frankly, rude behaviour, I cannot help but wonder about the life
and identity ofthe Pacific Spirit
Stroker (as he will henceforth
be known). Does he have a family? A home? After a long night
of wandering around the woods,
jacking off, hoping and praying
for a witness to his onanism, does
he return home to a tidy house in
Point Grey, to a doting wife, loving
children and a position in the corporate hierarchy?
Is the flasher in Pacific Spirit
Park a product ofthe Sauder
School of Business? I am only
GEOFF LISTER/THE UBYSSEY
A man has been taking his pleasure in Pacific Spirit Park, frightening a number of passersby and soiling the forest floor with his seed. But is he really that different from you and I?
asking questions here.
More likely, the Stroker is a vagrant, splitting his time between
the park and Wreck Beach (the
fact that victims describe him as
"tanned" suggests the latter location). I can't blame him for his
choice of domicile. Given the price
of rent in this part ofthe city, I
myself have been tempted to set
up house in the wilderness. Who
knows? Maybe the Stroker is a mature student at UBC. Maybe he is a
professor. In any case, he has made
the woods his home, and wood his
occupation.
Most likely, the stroker is just
a hint ofthe horrors lurking in
those dark glens. For all we know,
there could be an entire colony
of mastubating nudists living in
Pacific Spirit Park. Or clans of
giant spiders whose chitinous
mouthparts ooze foaming green
venom. Or sasquatch cabals plot-
tingto overthrow civilization. Or
dire-engineers, bigger and hairier
than their campus brethren, and
hungry for human flesh.
Since no one is taking it upon
themselves to cleanse the park
of these threats, I am forming a
posse. My extensive woodlore and
natural charisma make me a shoe-
in for leader.
WANTED: Able-bodied humans
who lack fear/mercy. Must supply
own shotgun and/or bloodhound.
Chewing tabacky and rotgut liquor will be provided. Wage is an
equal share of any gold/ancient
artifacts discovered, plus a photo
next to the corpse ofthe first ungodly beast you take down. PANTS
MANDATORY.
Is the flasher in Pacific
Spirit Park a product
of the Sauder School of
Business? I am only
asking questions here.
Call for Nominations
Teaching
Awards
Every yea r the Facu Ity of Science
awards five Killam Teaching Prizes to
acknowledge excellence in undergraduate teaching and to promote the importance
of science education. Professors, instructors or
lecturers appointed in any of the Faculty's departments are eligible. Students, alumni or faculty members are welcomed to submit nominations in writing to:
Killam Teaching Awards Committee
Dean of Science Office
Biological Sciences Building
1505-6270 University Boulevard
Vancouver, BCV6T1Z4
Fax: 604-822-5558
Term 2 Deadline
Friday, January 27, 2012
CALL   FOR   NOMINATIONS
UBYSSEY
BOARD OF
DIRECTORS
Deadline is January 13th, 2012. Nomination
forms are available at SUB 23. This is not an
editorial position. Members of The Ubyssey's
Board of Directors are responsible for
overseeing the finances ofthe newspaper.
Responsibilities include attending a monthly
board meeting, tending to business as it arises,
and overseeing personal projects.
Looking
for a free
lunch? *
StopbyT/te
days at 12
for noms
and info on
how to get
involved
with the
paper.
UBC
w
a place of mind
UBC SCIENCE
science.ubcca/killam
COME BY THE UBYSSEY OFFICE
SUB 24, FOLLOW THE SIGNS 121 Games 101.12.2012
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(CUP) - Puzzles provided by BestCrosswords.com.
Used with permission.
Across
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5-Artful
8- Soprano Gluck
12-Cop	
14- Cancun coin
15-London jail
16- Hackneyed
17- Language of Pakistan
18- Cornerstone abbr.
19- Consist of
21- Prepare to eat, in a way
23- Classified items
24-Bingo!
25- Leb. neighbor
26- French form of kick boxing
30- Actress Woodard
32- Beethoven dedicatee
33- Act of impelling
37-Cover
38- and the Night Visitors
39- Emaciated
40- Disease of rabbits
42- Gravy, for one
Flexible.
Like you.
With more than 800 transferable
courses delivered online and at a
distance, Athabasca University can
helpyou build the schedule you
want with the courses you need.
Learn more at
explore.at habascau.ca
Athabasca University^
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44- Beginning
45- Attorney's org.
48-Spar
49-Dada pioneer
50-Bog
52- Astonishment
57-Against
58- Civil disturbance
60-Tall and thin
61- Parody
62- Buck follower
63- First name in cosmetics
64-Achy
65- Mohawk-sporting actor
66-Makes a row?
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10- Like an unprotected
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11- Tree of the birch family
13-Add fizz
14-Cat
20- Chemical ending
22- British nobleman
24-A, as in Athens
26- Denomination
27- Baseball family name
28- Antidote holder, maybe
29-Take at (try)
Connect With Your
AMS/GSS Health &
Dental Plan
Your Benefits for 2011/2012
Health
prescription drugs, psychologist,
chiropractor, physiotherapist,
vaccinations, and more...
Vision
eye exam, eyeglasses or
contact lenses, laser eye surgery
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31- Convocation of witches
33-Mingle
34-Markers
35- A single time
36- Russian no
38-Airmail letter
41- Bumpkin
42-Flexible
44- Bruins great Bobby
45- Accumulate
46- Swindle
47-Moving
49-Car
51-Bird of prey
52- Smoke deposit
53- Impetuous
54-A big fan of
55-___-Ball
56-Baby blues
59- Discount rack abbr.
aiTlS      GRADUATE
yt"L-*"1-k-' STUDENT SOCIETY
UBC-VANCOUVER
Travel
travel health coverage for 120 days
per trip and up to $5,000,000,
trip cancellation, trip interruption
Dental
cleanings, checkups, fillings,
root canals, gum treatments,
extractions, and more...
Networks Enhance Your Benefits and Save You Money
Get even more coverage by visiting members of the Dental, Vision, Chiropractic,
Physiotherapy, and Massage Therapy Networks.
Find a health practitioner at www.ihaveaplan.ca.
Change-of-Coverage Period
Additional enrolments and opt outs for new Term 2 students must be completed
between Jan. 3 - 25, 2012.
Health & Dental Plan Office, SUB Lower
Level, Room 61. The Member Services Centre
is there to assist you from 9 am to 5 pm on
weekdays Toll-free: 1 877 795-4421
Have a smart phone with a QR code reader? Scan the
box to the left to be directed to your Plan's website.
BESOQ
ihaveaplan.ca

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