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The Ubyssey Presents: A Student's Guide to UBC 2012

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Array FEATURING OUR 94 THINGS TO DO BEFORE YOU GRADUATE FROM UBC • 77 TIPS ON STUDYING, EATING, CHILLIN'
AND DEBAUCHING • AN ACCURATE MAP OF UBC AND ITS ENVIRONS • PLUS THE UBC PARTY CALENDAR
THE UBYSSEY PRESENTS
A STUDENT'S
GUIDE TO UBC
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I FROM THE EDITOR
It's hard to sum up the collective experience of an entire class of UBC students
— there are, after all, more than 8,200 of
you. But if your lead up to graduation/summer
after high school was anything like mine, it
probably went a little something like this:
Sometime last spring, you got your
acceptance letter to UBC in the mail. Since
then, you've explained countless times to
friends and family that you'll be attending the
University of British Columbia in Vancouver,
Canada. Everyone is very proud of you, and
has assured you it's "a very good school." You
stuck a little UBC flag pin into a map on the
wall of your math teacher's classroom. Oh the
places you'll go and all that.
The letters U-B-C have been following
you around forsometime now. Well, the lead
up is over. You're here. And you're probably
wondering what to expect.
That's why we (that is, the Ubyssey, your
student newspaper) put together this little
guidebook. You've probably been inundated
with paperthusfar, but we liketothinkyou'll
hold onto this one. It's the UBC you don't see
in the brochures — with all the debauchery,
stress and ridiculousness intact.
This book is set up in a tips format, drawn
from the experience of eight student panelists (see pages 7-10), as well as our writers
and editors themselves. Tips range from
how to get by in academics, to how to form
healthy relationships to how to be a grown-
ass person. We hope they'll help you make
sense ofthe coming weirdness.
If you're looking for one overarching tip
or nugget of wisdom about this university,
though, it's this: at UBC, you can do anything
you want. We're naturally critical of this place,
but UBC can't be criticized for being overly
hands-on with its students. As a former editor
said in a similar column, "At university, there
are no rules. Just guidelines and malleable
people."
At the same time, UBC can be a degree
factory if you're not careful. To continue with
that lovely littleSeuss metaphor I set up in
the second paragraph, UBC is kind of like
the machine from the Sneetches: it spits you
out on the other side with a nice shiny star on
your belly, but that star doesn't mean much.
What does matter is how you spend your
time here. It's not the institution that's going
to define you: it's what you do here. So build
something, learn about yourself, and get
ready to take on this university the way you
want to. Best of luck.
Jonny Wakefield
Coordinating Editor
EDITORIAL
Coordinating Editor
Jonny Wakefield
coordinating@ubysseyca
Coordinating Editor
Jeff Aschkinasi
onnteditor@ubyssey.ca
Managing Editor, Web
Andrew Bates
webeditor@ubysseyca
News Editors
Will McDonald +
Laura Rodgers
iews@ubysseyca
CONTACT
Business Office: Room 23
Editorial Office: Room 24
Culture Editor
Anna Zona
culture@ubyssey.ca
Sports + Rec Editor
CJ Pentland
sports@ubyssey.ca
Features Editor
Natalya Kautz
featu res@u byssey.ca
Video Editor
David Marino
vi deo@ ubyssey.ca
Student Union Building
6l38Student Union Blvd
Vancouver, BC V6T lZl
Copy Editor
Karina Palmitesta
copy@u byssey.ca
Art Director
Kai Jacobson
art@u byssey.ca
Webmaster
Riley Tomasek
webmaster@ubysseyca
tel: 604.822.2301
web: www.ubyssey.ca
feedback@ubysseyca
The Ubyssey is the official student
newspaper of the University of British
Columbia. It is published every Monday
and Thursday by The Ubyssey Publications Society. We are an autonomous
democratically run student organization, and all students are encouraged
to participate.
Editorials are chosen and written by the Ubyssey staff. They are
the expressed opinion of the staff,
and do not necessarily reflect the
views of The Ubyssey Publications
Society or the University of British
Columbia. All editorial content ap-
oearing in The Ubyssey is the property of The Ubyssey Publications So
ciety.Stories, opinions, photographs
and artwork contained herein cannot
oe reproduced without the expressed
written permission of The Ubyssey
Publications Society.
The Ubyssey isafounding member
of Canadian University Press(CUP) anc
adheres to CUPs guiding principles
_etterstothe editor must be under
Business Office:
604.822.6681
ad ve rtis i ng @ u byssey.ca
300 words. Please includeyour phone
number, student number and signature
[not for publication) as well as your
year and faculty with all submissions
Dwill be checked when submissions
are droDDed off at the editorial office
otTheUb. ■ ierwise verification
one. The Ubyssey
•eservesthe right to edit submissions
for length and clarity. All letters must
oe received by 12 noon the day before
ntended publication. Letters receivec
after this point will be published inthe
following issue unless there is an urgent time restriction or other matter
deemed relevant by the Ubyssey staff
It is agreed by all persons placing
display or classified advertising that if
the Ubyssey Publications Society fails
to publish an advertisement or if an er-
'or in the ad occurs the liability ofthe
UPS will notbe greater than the price
oaid for the ad. The UPS shall notbe
•esponsible for slight changes or ty-
oographical errors that do not lessen the value orthe impact of the ad
THE UBYSSEY iktJji^JUy p>vtMht&,
□ 1.     Find The Ubyssey's office in the SUB.
□ 2.     HitonyourTAandseeifyour
grade improves.
□ 3.    Learn about DC++.
□ 4.    Star in a viral video. Court an obsessive
YouTube following. Use that following
for evil.
□ 5.    Find the UBC Farm.
□ 6.    Spend 24 hours straight in Irving K.
Barber Library.
□ 7.     See a play at Freddie Wood.
□ 8.    GetyourgrooveonatthePit.
□ 9.    Climbtothetopoftheclocktower.
□ 10.   Act likeyou know what you're talking
about at the Bike Kitchen.
□ 11.   Break into a building on campus.
□ 12.   FindoutwheretheUBCdrunktankis
(via personal experience).
□ 13.   Smoke up behind Totem Park.
□ 14.   Get kicked out of a T-Birds game.
□ 15.   Get kicked out ofthe 99 B-Line.
□ 16.   Get kicked out of your own house.
□ 17.    Eat (loudly) in the Koerner bookstacks.
□ 18.   Take a swim at Wreck Beach.
□ 19.   Makenewfriendsbythecliffs.
□ 20.   Explore the famed steam tunnels.
□ 21.   Ge threatened with arrest by Campus
Security, or betteryet, the Mounties.
□ 24.
□ 25.
□ 26.
□ 27.
□ 28.
□ 29.
□ 30.
□ 31.
□ 32.
□ 33.
□ 34.
□ 35.
□ 36.
□ 37.
□ 38.
□ 39.
Sleep on the roof of the Aquatic Centre.
Leave a philosophy paper until the last
night, write it on an angst filled caffeine
bender, get an A.
Feel a deep sense of shame waiting
in line at McDonald's at 2:30 in
the morning.
Accidentally make out with the entire
exec of your club or group.
Never speakofit again.
Develop a far too expensive hobby.
Hunt alongside the squirrels.
Buy a coffee from three different shops
in a single day.
Spend an entire week holing up in
your rez room watching The Wire and
subsisting on Doritos.
Host a kegger inside a parkade.
Miss the last NightBus to UBC.
Realize you can't afford a cab and
wander around aimlessly waiting for
the first bus in the morning.
Buy a longboard. Never use it.
Cry about not getting into Pit Night.
Offend a Wesbrook Place resident.
Take part in the annual undie run.
Drinkbeerfromavending machine.
Kidnap the EUS president.
THE UBYSSEY £
Fi 1 THINGS TO DO AT UBC BEFORE YOU GRADUATE
□ 40.
Proceed to deface the Cairn.
to your CPSC class. Get an A.
□ 41.
Shotgun a beer after a final.
□ 71.
Bring wine to the Vera's on campus.
□ 42.
Make a GIF of your prof in class.
□ 72.
Moon an audience at the Chan Centre.
□ 43.
Get everyone in the room watching it.
□ 73.
Find where the free parkings are
44.
Eat free event food for all three meals.
on campus.
□ 45.
Get lost in Pacific Spirit Park.
□ 74.
Go on exchange.
□ 46.
Befoul a campus water feature.
□ 75.
Visit every library on campus.
□ 47.
Become disillusioned.
□ 76.
Fall asleep on a bus. Wake up in Surrey.
48.
Play soccer on Maclnnes Field.
□ 77.
Bring your unsuspecting friends to a
□ 49.
Use the AMS Whistler Lodge.
Gateman lecture.
□ 50.
Become a Starcraft champion.
□ 78.
Take a Friday night exam.
□ 51.
Have "Fun Type 2" wih the Varsity
□ 79.
OrderAmazon.com to Point
OutdoorClub.
Roberts, lie to customs about your
□ 52.
Eat at every food outlet in the
smuggled goods.
University Village basement.
□ 80.
Go to the liquor store, fail to make
□ 53.
Watch Olympians train as you nap in
it back.
the Aquatic Centre's "womb."
□ 81.
Start a band, win CiTR's Shindig.
□ 54.
Hook up at GLOW or Graffiti Night, go
□ 82.
Get an item returned to you by UBC
back to your dorm satisfied.
Campus Security, marvel at the innate
□ 55.
Hook up at GLOW or Graffiti Night
decency of humanity.
despite not living in rez.
□ 83.
Ask a Sauder student about their
□ 56.
Do shrooms on the canopy walkway
"personal brand." Vomit.
after hours.
□ 84.
Have a naked party.
□ 57.
Hop the fence and swim in the outdoor
□ 85.
Watch robots play soccer.
pool at night.
□ 86.
Fake an injury, get massage waivers
□ 58.
Drink on Koerner's patio, even if they
from the Student Health Centre.
don't reopen.
□ 87.
Pose naked in The Ubyssey.
□ 59.
Learn to play darts.
□ 88.
Go to Aggie beer garden on
□ 60.
Star gaze on the 50-yard line at
halloween.ridethebull.
Thunderbird Stadium.
□ 89.
Smuggle an alcoholic concoction in a 1
□ 61.
Get lost in a maze of blue fences.
water bottle.
□ 62.
Storm the motherfuckin' wall.
□ 90.
Communicate by signs with someone 1
□ 63.
Hang out in the weird echo chamber.
in Gage Towers.
□ 64.
Write an article for The Ubyssey.
□ 91.
Start a thoroughly bizarre AMS
□ 65.
Watch Billy Greene be Billy Greene.
club.Applyforclubfunding.Buya
□ 66.
Have a curtain for a wall.
goddamn helicopter.
□ 67.
Run for an AMS Executive position as a
□ 92.
Go to a retreat with a group you aren't   1
joke candidate.
even in. Enjoy it. Spend the entire next 1
□ 68.
Accidentally win.
year doing stuff with that group.
□ 69.
Mourn the loss of Arts County Fair.
□ 93.
Change your major.
□ 70.
Use Code Academy instead of going
□ 94.
Graduate.
THE UBYSSEY THE STUDENT PANEL
WE ASKED THESE PEOPLE FOR SOME TIPS ABOUT YOUR UBC EXPERIENCE
Kate Burtinsky
Originally from a small town in Ontario, Kate
Burtinsky has lived on campus for the past four
years whileworking on her Political Science
degree. Residence played a big role in her
time at UBC, and she's worked as a residence
advisor. Kate became involved with the Greek
system after joining a sorority in third year and
she is currently the UBC Sororities director of
external communications. Now entering her
fifth year, she has just moved off campus to
Kitsilano. After completing her undergrad, Kate
plans to pursue a graduate degree in public
policy.
Ian Campbell
Now going into his third year, Ian Campbel
has been involved on campus throughout his
degree. He grew up in Vancouver and now
lives in the Mount Pleasant neighbourhood.
Majoring in electrical engineering, Ian is also
amemberoftheSigmaPhi Delta engineering
frat. He has also been actively involved with
the Engineering Undergrad Society (EUS) for
years, attending several conferences with them
and working as EUS director of finance. Ian is
nowthe EUS president.
DHOTOS: KAI JACOBSON, JOSH CURRAN, JOHN CHIANG, CHRIS BORCHERT/THE UBYSSEY
THE UBYSSEY THE STUDENT PANEL
Marjan Hatai
Though Marjan Hatai is from West
Vancouver, she grew up in Berlin. For first
year, Marjan lived in Totem Park, and this
year she will return to Totem as a residence
advisor. Marjan is also acting as a MUG leader
on Imagine Day thisyear, and she hopes to
become more involved in clubs. Though she
has yet to declare her major, she hopes to
enter Political Science at the end of the year.
Ultimately, she wants to attend law school or
go into politics.
Urooba Jamal
Currently a third-year international relations
major, Urooba Jamal grew up in Surrey. In her
first year, Jamal wrote for the psychology student
association newsletter, and she was also a
member ofthe Ubyssey investigative journalism
team. She got involved in residence life by
becoming a resident advisor in second year in Place
Vanier. Jamal now lives in Richmond, and serves
as an executive member ofthe Pakistan Students'
Association and as a researcher at the Institute for
Asian Research. She is considering a career in foreign
policy or international development, though she is still
undecided.
THE UBYSSEY THE STUDENT PANEL
Anna Leong
Anna Leong is a third-year biology student
who commutes from Burnaby. She answers
questions from panicked students on her
Tumblr account, helping them navigating UBC's
academic side. She volunteers at an outreach
program for a botany lab and would like to
move toward studying clinical genetics. A self-
described nerd, Anna chose to major in biology
because she felt confident in the subject.
Jesse Olson
esse Olson is a graduate student in his second
year of a masters in pathology and laboratory
medicine. He did his undergraduate degree in
molecular biology at UBC-O, where he learned
about both the science of biomolecules and the
science ofwhatliquordoes to young minds as a
doorman at the student pub. Born in Langley, he now
lives near Stanley Park in the West End. Jesse also
volunteers in a program called Let's Talk Science!,
which demonstrates science experiements to
high school students.
THE UBYSSEY THE STUDENT PANEL
i>DU<2
■i'NG\i\^J
Denise Tom
Denise Tom graduated in 2011 with a
linguistics major and psychology minor. A
huge Vancouver Canucks fan, she met her
best friends randomly through classes and
felt her time at university helped change her
forthe better. Raised in Vancouver, she lived
at home throughout her degree. She now
works for a foundation that helps children with
learning disabilities learn to read.
Ethan Wong
Recently graduated from UBC, Ethan Wong
was an Arts student who split his time as an
undergrad between working on his history major
and leading the Chinese Varsity Club. Ethan joined
the CVC after feeling isolated in his first year, and
ended up as the club's president, organizing dances
and campus-wide Spy vs. Spy games. Ethan is
considering going into teaching in the future.
10 THE UBYSSEY TABLE OF CONTENTS
5     94ThingstoDoatUBCBefore
You Graduate
7 Student Panel
11   Table of Contents
EDUCATION
Welcome! You're not in high school
38    How to get your ass home
NTERTAININGYOURSE
anymore!
Take a classjustforthe prof, Find the
easiest classes with PAIR
Thoughts on choosing a major, Take
classes outside your major
How to pull out of an academic disaster
On required courses, Make sure your prof
knows you exist, Doyou really need to
bring a laptop to class?
...And please get a grad check before 4th
year, How to navigate UBC Advising
HUMAN RELAT ONSH PS
How to meet other humans and form
relationships with them, Howto maintain
relationships with peopleyou are faraway
rrom
...Including your long distance
relationships
When you have sex with people, besmart
about it
Don't sexually assault people
Howtolivewith people,The terrible
things that roommates do,... And in the
washroom
How to stop living with people who do
terrible things
Your rights as a renter
Join a club for money, friends and fame;
Resources for LGBTQ+ students
Don't form (or maintain) relationships with
shitty people	
DEBAUCHERY
Howto drink without making a fool
of yourself, Ifyou choose to drink
underage...
Ifyou choose to take drugs..., How
to recover from a night of excessive
boozing
Howtodrinkfor cheap
Howto drink with class, Finding a good
theme party
Where to drink on any given night of the
week
Strange places to have sex
So you decided to go to a frat party, The
frat party experience
So you decided to go to the nightclub
39 Have fun in September...after all, it's
just five weeks'til midterms!, Howto
show off Vancouver to out-of-towners
40 Getto the beach in September, Climb
some mountains
41 Check out these Van buzz bands, ...Or
some new acts at these venues
42 Cheer on some local sports teams!,
Cheer on the Thunderbirds!
43 Forget those movies about college,
Learn some life skills, A crash course
in Canada
HOWTO FEED YOURSELF
44 Howtoavoid getting ripped off In
the caf, Five food items to keep in
yourdorm
45 Food to stock when you actually have
a kitchen, Become a vegetarian to save
money, Howto spice up ramen
46 You probably don't need to worry
about the freshman 15. ..unlessyou're
an idiot, There is such a thing as free
lunch at UBC
LIFE AS YOU CHOOSE TO LIVE IT
47 Howto deal with culture shock, Where
to get a cheap bike
48 Point/Counterpoint: fraternities and
sororities, Whatto do If your parents
go crazy
49 Get a job, Howto commute, how
to budget
50 Whatto do when bad daysturn into
bad weeks
51 How not to destroy your future career
with social media, Where to get the
items you need for sex, Howto get
around campus	
UNSOLICITED LIFE ADVICE
52 Howto complain about Vancouver,
The skinny on Vancouver
neighbourhoods
53 Howto be a good Vancouverite
55 Build your resume the smart way: start
small but start now, Reading outside
ofclassmakesyoua more interesting
Person
56 Ifyou loseyourfaith...don'tbeajerk
about it, Be careful with study drugs
57 Attending matters ofthe soul
58 TheWaronFun
59 Being jaded is boring
THE UBYSSEY GEOFF LISTER/THE UBYSSEY
l. Welcome! You're not in high school
anymore.
Now that you're practically a
grown-up, it's time to accept the
fact that you're not as smart as
you think you are.
Your last year of high school is kind
of like university with training wheels.
Now that the wheels are off, you can
expect more required reading and stricter marking (often done by people you
will never personally interact with). And
more competition.
The kids who barely graduated high
school aren't goingto UBC; the ones who
studied hard and exercised their big juicy
brains are. As a student, you're not as
"special" as you used to be. Depending on
your program and how good your study
habits are, there's a reasonable chance that
you won't see your usual clean sweep of
A+s come December. So how can you stay
a cut above the rest, or at least pass with a
non-shameful grade?
Go to class. Good thing about university: You can skip class, and nobody will
THE UBYSSEY EDUCATION
notice. The bad thing is: You can skip class,
and nobody will notice. Time to test your
self-discipline. Because no matter your faculty or program, the best way to get good
grades, and your (parents'?) money's worth
is to actually attend class.
"I would not recommend skipping classes," says Jesse Olson. "There are professors,
specifically in the sciences, that will examine
you in something not within the lecture
material, but something spoken about during
class."
Recent Faculty of Arts grad Denise Tom
wasn't quite as adamant about this, saying,
"You don't need to go to class when the prof
is reading off their notes verbatim; you're not
getting anything out of it. But I do recommend going to class for the most part."
And after four years at UBC, Kate
Burtinsky says, "If there's anything I've
learned, it's that the more you go to class,
the better." Go to class. It will make you
know more stuff, and do better at school.
And it's what you're here for, right? 2. Take a class
just for the prof
Professors can make or break a course.
These profs have a reputation for enthusiasm, knowledge and general kick-assery:
£.1
• Catherine Rawn (psychology): Strives
to get to know her students, no matter the
class size.
• Allen Sens (political science): An incisive, witty lecturer.
• Shona Ellis (biology): Multimedia use
brings her botany lectures to life.
• Henry Yu (history): Passionately dedicated to student learning.
• Kurt Grimm (earth and ocean science):
May make you reconsider your goals in life.
rS&oubuy textbooks.
"It really depends on what course
it is. Another thing is how valuable
the textbook is going to be later on.
And guite frankly, is there a PDF of it
on the internet? Because if the book
is something that is just absolutely
terrible, and the only reason you're
buying it is because the problem
sets are taken out of the textbook, I
don't see any reason to own the textbook."
3. Find the easiest classes with PAIR
Want to figure out what mark
you'll get in an upcoming
course? UBC's Office of
Planning and Institutional
Research (PAIR) unintentionally gives students the ability
to do just that, by publishing
course grades and averages from
previous years.
"I use PAIR all the time,... especially for electives," says Anna
Leong, a third-year biology
student. "I'll just go on PAIR and see which
one has the highest average."
Inquisitive students input the subject,
course and section number, and year in
which the class was taught. In return, they
can access class averages, the highest and
lowest grades, enrolment numbers and the
course instructor, dating back to 1996.
This information is pretty damn invaluable. "Look at the professors,"
recommends Leong. "There are
a lot of courses where there are
multiple sections, so try and find
a professor's older grades and
class distribution."
However, Walter Sudmant,
director of PAIR, warns that
high averages inthe past don't
guarantee an easy A. "It could be misleading,
the idea of taking the course because the
grades are high is assuming that those grades
are largely the result of an instructor being
generous.... What instructors generally give
high grades for is hard work."
EDUCATION
THE UBYSSEY 5. Thoughts on       II6. Take classes
choosing a major    I outside your major
Ybu just arrived at UBC and you have
no idea what you want to do with
your life. That's normal.
Over the next few years, you will have to
choose your major, which will determine
your career path, salary range, where you
live...but don't stress about that stuff.
Pick courses that interest you and go from
there. Once you've picked your major, you'll
have to take a lot of required courses in that
field, which will really suck if it's not a subject you're passionate about. Every major has
room for electives. Take as many courses outside your major as your program allows. And
if those electives make you reconsider your
major, don't be afraid to change your mind.
It's much worse to be stuck with a degree you
hate than to take a few extra courses to get
on track for your new program.
Many student panelists wanted to
stress that you shouldn't only
barrel through your pre-reqs
and ignore everything else. In the words of
UBC history graduate Ethan Wong, "The
worst thing to do is get stuck in your
major and graduate from UBC with only
that major and that knowledge."
Even people who are sure about their
career path admit that varied learning experiences are helpful. Engineering student
Ian Campbell had this to say:
"We'd have a bunch of people who
came into engineering because they
wanted to, say, work with machines, but
that's all they end up being good with.
We still have a lot of people who have
poor social skills or poor presentation
skills."
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THE UBYSSEY
EDUCATION 7. How to pull out of an academic
disaster
The obvious way to handle all-nighters is to avoid them in the first
place. Ifyou plan your work and
play time appropriately and avoid procrastination, you'll save yourself a lot of stress.
That being said, at one point or another,
almost every student is guaranteed to face
a project, paper or exam they haven't prepared for. When things get desperate, keep
the following tips in mind.
Consider the benefits of sleeping
rather than staying up to cram in more
study time. Research from Harvard
suggests that sleep is necessary for the
brain to consolidate any information it
has learned during the day. Sleep deprivation also has a negative impact on your
physical performance. So not only will
you struggle to recall the contents of your
cram session; you may also struggle just
to keep your eyes open during that final.
Instead of grinding through it, make
sure to include exercise and relaxation
breaks in your study regimen. Exercise
maintains blood pressure, while relaxation
GEOFF LISTER/THE UBYSSEY
allows your mind to cool down and refocus.
"For me personally, I try to make a
study schedule where I break it up into
half days," says Denise Tom, "especially if
I have to study for two exams at the same
time."
Remember to keep a healthy diet.
Eating regularly boosts your metabolism, maintains blood sugar levels and
prevents fatigue. However, you should
limit your intake of empty calories and
caffeine. Although sugars and stimulants
give you a small energy burst, you may
find yourself crashing after the rush.
Magda's and Hubbard's charge far too
much for energy drinks, anyway. Instead,
snack on nuts, veggies and fruit; apples,
for instance, have a high sugar content
and are a good source of Vitamin C
and fibre.
Finally, take advantage of your friends
— in a good way. Cramming with someone
else allows you to share ideas, check facts
and even practice testing each other. Just
don't goof off.
EDUCATION
THE UBYSSEY "I wish I would've known to follow
the core required courses. In my
first year, I chose a lot of electives,
and it actually set me back a semester. So in your first two years, try to
stick to the core courses of your
program, because not only will you
get the hoops that you have to jump
through over and done with, but it
leaves you a lot more options in your
third and fourth year.... Classes you
want to take [are] really not available
until your second, third and fourth
year, anyways."
9. Make sure your
profs know you exist
Getting to know your professor
or TA is a great way to get more
out of your class and expand
your network.
"Go up to talk to them.... Most profs
are really approachable. I know they can
be intimidating, but you kind of just have
to break through that," says recent grad
Denise Tom.
You could always email them, but in a
class of 100 -plus, you should take the time
to go to office hours early in the semester.
If the prof thinks you're genuinely interested in the course, he or she will appreciate
it and be more willing to explain concepts
to you.
Plus, you never know when you'll need a
recommendation letter, and it's much easier to get one from a prof who can actually
connect your face to a name. Don't worry
about people calling you a keener: they'll be
the ones lining up for help the day before
that 15-page essay is due.
Marjan Hatai
Ian Campbell
"They're very distracting, and it's easy to
"I've found that, sitting in class, because
just want to go on the Internet and go to
you have to look like you're sitting there
Facebook for a second, and then you miss a
paying attention, you can do homework
bunch ofthe lecture."
from other classes."
Jesse Olson
Anna Leong
"You can definitely bring a laptop to
"With a lot of science classes, there's a lot of dia
class, but if you're going to goof around
grams and equations and it's really hard to copy
on it, don't sit in the first couple of
the exact same thing onto a laptop. So I find
rows."
using a pen and paper is always the best way."
THE UBYSSEY EDUCATION ll. ...And please, get a grad check before 4th year
While it might seem like a distant
impossibility right now, many of
you will one day graduate from
this university. But ifyou don't get a grad check
before your fourth year, you may be here longer
than you'd like.
Here's the cautionary tale of Yooji Cum-
mings. Cummings was a fifth-year Sauder
student, just about ready to wrap up his time
at UBC. He had done an advising session in
second year, knew the courses he would need
for graduation, and was even cleared for graduation by UBC's online software.
"Onthe UBC [Student Service Centre], it
said I was cleared for graduating. I even got all
the letters from UBC saying congratulations,"
he says. "Anyone would have believed they
were graduating. But no one had bothered to
do a grad check within the system. That's when
they told me I wasn't graduating."
Turns out, a single course code number
threw him of f. "I had read the one digit in the
course number wrong. They're all 46 something at that level, but it can happen. It was the
difference between an 8 and a 9."
Cummings had not completed COMM 468,
a prerequisite for graduation. He had been going to job interviews and making plans to enter
the real world, but he had to put everything on
hold to finish another three credits. Worse yet,
the course wasn't offered during the summer,
even at other institutions where UBC accepts
transfer credit. Cummings ended up tryingto
make the best of it; he worked part-time jobs
to pay the bills, traveled and completed an
internship. He says that overall, it was a positive
experience, despite the initial terror. But here's
the take-away: get a full academic advising session WITH A REAL PERSON prior to entering
your last year.
12. How to navigate UBC advising
GEOFF LISTER^HE UBYSSEY
Bouncing between advising departments
can be nightmare, but you can reduce
the ping-pong effect just by knowing
who to ask.
Academic advising is available through
each faculty, offered on both a drop-in and
appointment basis.
"It can help to have done some research, as
otherwise you may get referred to the course
planning website," says Paul Harrison, Associate Dean of Student Services in Science.
So before making the trip, take a look at
your department website online to clarify
your questions.
For financial advice, every incoming first-
year student is individually assigned an Enrolment Service Professional (ESP).
"[ESPs] answer questions that are more of an
administrative nature, to deal with registration
problems, or tuition payments, or anything
to do with the non-academic planning,"
explains Harrison. ESPs can be contacted
through email.
But if students aren't sure where to turn,
they should get in touch with their first connection at UBC - their MUG leader.
MUG leaders have been training since
March on how to guide new students with a
broad base of knowledge, and canbe contacted
by email throughout the year.
"I would really encourage students to think
of their MUG leader as a point of contact, to ask
questions and get redirected," said Harrison
EDUCATION THE UBYSSEY 13. How to meet other humans and
form relationships with them.
If you're like most first-years at UBC,
you won't be able to see your high
school friends on a regular basis. Try
to make new friends as soon as possible.
• Rez is a great place to make friends if
you don't know anyone. You spend a lot
of time with people who also don't know
anyone yet.
• But don't assume the people on your
floor are your only options. While living
in rez is a great way to get to know people,
you don't have to be best buddies with
your f loormates.
• Talk to people in class. Most people are
just as lonely and nervous as you. Even
ifyou don't become best friends, you've
found someone to exchange notes with if
you miss class.
• Join a club or sports league. It's a great
way to meet people who share your interests. The more involved you are, the more
you'll get out of university.
14. How to maintain relationships
with people you are far away from.
University can be a big, scary place
for students who have travelled
far from home. Some first-years
might savour their newfound freedom, but
many wallow in homesickness for months.
First step: realize that you're entering
a new chapter of your life, and no matter how much you love your high school
friends, growing apart is not necessarily
a bad thing. "[My high school friends and
I] make time to see each other from time
to time," says Urooba Jamal, "but we also
realize that we're starting to get different
interests and we're not necessarily the
same people we were in high school."
So don't eat dinner alone in your single
room or lie in bed creeping people from
home on Facebook. It's easy and temporarily comforting, but it won't make
things better.
Instead, focus on getting out there.
Attend rez events. Introduce yourself to
people in classes. Take walks around campus. Join clubs. You can and should make
time to Skype with your family and friends,
THE UBYSSEY RELATIONSHIPS
but don't let homesickness consume
your life.
"It's really tough to start with," says
Ontario native Kate Burtinsky. "It will
take some adjustment, but you will make
friends. And you will get used to it." Many bright-eyed first-years
arrive at UBC still attached to
their high school girlfriend or
boyfriend. And it's no wonder: the beginning of university is an overwhelming
time. What could be more reassuring than
falling asleep on Skype with the person
that already knows and loves you, instead
of facing the uncertainty of new people and
experiences?
"I have been in a long-distance relationship, and it's pretty difficult," says Jesse
Olson. "Especially in your first few years
of university, when you're incredibly social
and you're meeting people."
There will be many new experiences
that you won't be able to share with
your significant other, and this can
breed resentment, jealousy and paranoia. Even if you're both level-headed
about the situation, simply the strain of
missing each other can be hard to bear.
"I don't think you should stay with
[a high school girlfriend or boyfriend],"
says Marjan Hatai. "You just miss out
on a lot. You miss out on a lot of fun,
like, staying in on a Friday night to
Skype. Or things can get controlling be
cause you'll be worried that the person's
doing something."
If you're spending all your spare time on
Skype, checking your phone constantly for
xoxo-filled texts, and generally isolating
yourself from social contact, then it might
be time to re-evaluate the relationship.
Healthy long-distance relationships are
possible, but they require balance. Cultivate your life outside of your significant
other, and allow him or her to do the same.
Otherwise, both of you run the risk of turning into lonely, co-dependent shut-ins.
Urooba Jamal, who was a residence
advisor in Place Vanier last year, describes
the Turkey Syndrome: "It's when residents
go away for Thanksgiving and come back
after that long weekend and they've broken
up with their significant other. We are always aware ofthe fact that there'll be some
droopy residents around that time."
On the other hand, some couples do
make it work.
"I think if they both feel it's right, then
it's right," says Jesse.
Kate Burtinsky agrees. "I know plenty of
people who are still with their high school
sweethearts or are engaged to them now."
RELATIONSHIPS
THE UBYSSEY 16. When you have sex with people,
be smart about it.
We know the feeling: it's 12 a.m.
on a Friday night, you've had
a couple of beers and you suddenly get a tingling feeling. Maybe it's just
a small voice in the back of your head, saying, "Hey baby, it's business time. Business
hours are open." Maybe this voice is you
talking out loud, in which case, you have a
bigger problem on your hands.
Whatever your situation, the fact is
you're one step away from using some
variation ofthe "Call Me Maybe" lyric as
a pick-up line, all in the hopes that it will
lead to a scenario that makes your private
bits happy.
But before you let your nether regions act
as a compass, consider the consequences you
might have to face in the morning. Weigh
your options, know the risks and make your
choices accordingly.
Safety
The object of your desire may seem
irresistible at the moment, but taking
them home or going to their place is a risk
that you may not be fit to evaluate after
consuming alcohol.
Ifyou do decide to proceed, be sure
to let your friends know where you're
THE UBYSSEY RELATIONSHIPS
going, with whom, and when you expect
to be back.
Practice Safe Sex
This seems like a no-brainer, but when things
get going, two people will rarely see the absence of a flimsy piece of latex as a reason to
halt all engines. But throwing caution to the
wind and forgoing protection can be a huge,
life-changing gamble for both parties. As
Jesse Olson puts it, "Wrap it until you're in a
commited relationship, definitely."
Be Honest With Yourself
Ifyou already feel lonely, stressed out or
insecure, having sex with a stranger will
probably only add to your already-full emotional plate the morning after. Ian Campbell
gives good advice: "Make sure, before you
have sex with someone, that you really do
want to have sex with someone. Make sure
it's not something you're going to regret later
for whatever reason."
But if you're simply young, horny and
adventurous, feel free to explore and satisfy
your sexual cravings (safely) without guilt or
shame. Just do your best to stay away from
the "Call Me Maybe" pick-up lines. 17. Don't sexually assault people.
There are a few things you
should be aware of when it
comes to sexual assault.
For one, students are at a higher risk of
sexual assault during the first few weeks
of school. That's accordingto outgoing
AMS Sexual Assault
Support Centre
(SASC) program
coordinator Emily Yakashiro, and
backed up by stats
from the University
of Alberta.
"You have a ton of
people coming onto
campus, people are away from home for
the first time, they want to meet new
people and try out new experiences,"
says Yakashiro. Add alcohol and drugs
to the equation, she says, and the situation becomes doubly dangerous.
Statistically speaking, the risk of
sexual assault is highest for women
aged 16-24.
Everyone needs to take steps to prevent sexual assault. But that narrative
is changing. "There's the classic safety
tips, like watch your drink, don't go out
alone and take a friend if you need to
leave alone," says Yakashiro. "But we're
also trying to steer away from that and
put the blame where it belongs: on the
perpetrator."
That means you need to have a clear
idea of what consent is and isn't. In
B.C., consent is defined as a "freely
and enthusiastically given yes." This
requires ongoing communication with
your partner throughout "every stage of
the encounter," accordingto Yakashiro.
"There's the classic safety tips
like watch your drink, don't go
out alone and take a friend if you
need to leave alone," says Yakashiro. "But we're also trying to
steer away from that and put the
blame where it belongs: on the
perpetrator."
Legally, consent cannot be given if the
person is drunk or high.
Ifyou or someone you know is sexually
assaulted, it's important to understand
that you are not at fault. SASC exists
to provide resources and services to
members ofthe UBC
community, including accompaniment
to hospitals and the
police, education
and outreach, and
services for secondary survivors
and allies.
So stay safe,
watch out for your friends and make
sure you have ongoing communication with your partner(s). And most
importantly, don't sexually assault
anyone. If it's not clear whether consent is present, just walk away from
the situation.
Some resources:
Sexual Assault
Support Centre
604-827-5180, SUB 119 A/B. Extended
September hours: 9 a.m.-7 p.m.
Victim Link B.C.
1-800-563-0808. The province's toll-free,
24/7 crisis support line.
Women Against Violence
Against Women Rape
Crisis Centre
1-877-392-7583
RELATIONSHIPS       .    THE UBYSSEY    ]      21 18. How to live with people
If you're one ofthe few first-years living
off-campus, Congrats on your early
escape from the notorious "UBC bubble." The true big-city experience is often a
lot more exciting than months of rez movie
nights and caf food.
But because Vancouver has an expensive,
fiercely competitive rental market, finding
roommates and rentals online can be difficult
and time-consuming. Ifyou sign a lease with
randoms, you could become arch nemeses,
lifelong friends or anything in between.
"I found my roommate using AMS
Rentsline, which is UBC-specific, and I
mm*.
19. PANEL: THE TERRIBLE THINGS
THAT ROOMMATES DO...
Jesse Olson
"I lived with three other guys [in first
year], and none of them would vacuum
or clean their dishes, [only] me. So I just
told them, 'Yo, do your dishes.' And if they
didn't do 'em, I'd put them on their bed.
Regardless, dishes got done."
Denise Tom
"One specific one I've heard was about
two roommates who had totally different
schedules, and one wasn't very respectful
ofthe other's schedule, such as talking on
the phone at night while the other was trying to sleep. Especially inthe small dorms,
that's not good."
Kate Burtinsky
"I'm a very heavy sleeper and sometimes
it takes a lot of snoozes for me to actually
get up. My roommate hated when I had to
snooze my alarm clock."
THE UBYSSEY RELATIONSHIPS
would put that as my top choice, definitely,"
says Jesse Olson.
While Craigslist beats AMS Rentsline in
variety and number of listings, beware of
weirdos and too-good-to-be-true scams. Proceed with caution and common sense, take a
buddy to see prospective rentals or roommates, and above all, trust your instincts.
And ifyou decide to move in with a friend,
know that it might not be super-fun-BFF-
party-time. "Moving in with your best friend
is difficult, just because you're around each
other so much, and the little things... kind of
build up and accumulate," says Olson.
20. ...in the washroom.
The washroom is where you go to poop
and pee, wash filth from your body and
remove undesirable parts of your epidermis. The less you and your co-bathroomers
consciously realize this fact, the happier you'll
be. Here are some tips.
• Don't leave clipped nails or trimmed hair in
the sink, tub or anywhere else.
• Establish and maintain a cleaning schedule. Ifyou finish off the toilet paper, get more
immediately. Keep a backup roll.
• When taking an enormous dump, flush as
soon as the majority ofthe dump comes in
contact with the water. This is called a courtesy
flush, and will prevent blockages and almost
completely remove shit-smell from the room.
• Wrap wads of cotton soaked in uterine
lining/dead ova or jizz-filled condoms in toilet
paper before throwing them out, so others do
not have to look at them.
• Make sure everyone knows one another's
schedules, for the prevention of pre-class
shower jams. Ifyou need to curl into the fetal
position and cry in the shower, do so when
nobody is around and needs the bathroom. 21. How to stop living with people who
do terrible things
Despite your best efforts, sometimes things will fall out and
you'll have to leave the place you
live. Sometimes living with people means
putting up with a lot, but ifyou ever find
yourself staying out late at night because
you don't feel like going home, that's a good
sign that you might be in a bad situation.
Talk about it and try to work out the issue,
but if you can't settle it it might be time to
get out of a bad situation. Here are some
tips for finding a new place to live:
If you're in residence
• Talk to your RA; they're there to help.
• If the issue still isn't resolved, you can
apply for a room transfer. You need to
input your information on the housing
section ofthe Student Service Centre
and pay $50. When a new room becomes
available, you can switch. (This might
take a while.)
• Ifyou find another person who lives in
the same residence and wants to switch
with you, the fee is only $10 each and the
switch can usually happen pretty quickly.
Just go with the other person to the front
desk of your residence complex.
• If there's a medical reason why you need
a room switch, you should contact the
Access & Diversity office (students.ubc.ca/
access) and submit relevant documentation. This can expedite the process.
• If you're in rez and you want to move
out entirely, you'll need to pay a termination fee, which could be a quarter of your
total residence fees for the year. There are
exceptions to this, like ifyou completely
drop out of UBC or decide to go on co-op
halfway through the year.
If you're living off-campus
• Changing your living arrangement probably involves breaking a lease. Ifyou don't
work something out with your landlord,
you could be on the hook for paying rent
until your lease expires.
• It's relatively easy to find someone to
sublet your place for the remainder of your
lease. Vancouver has a crazy low vacancy
rate for rental housing, which works in
your favour in this situation.
• You need your landlord's permission, but
he or she can't withold that permission unreasonably. Check out the Tenant Resource
& Advisory Centre (tenants.bc.ca) for more
info on lease agreements.
• For finding a new place and renting out
your old one, AMS Rentsline, Craigslist,
Kijiji and @Roommate_BC on Twitter are
all good places to try. (Also use your own
social media accounts and good old fashioned word of mouth.)
RELATIONSHIPS
THE UBYSSEY 22. Your rights as a renter
Good news: There's a provincial law
that gives you a bunch of rights as a
renter! Bad news: It totally doesn't
apply to you if you're living in residence.
In exchange for the sweet, sweet convenience of getting to sleep in until ten minutes
before your 8 a.m. class, you've given UBC a
good deal more power over you than a regular old landlord. This means there's a bunch
of rules, called Residence Standards, that you
need to follow while you live here.
In Totem, Vanier and Marine, you can't
play drinking games, wrestle (yes, really), harass people on social media, make too much
noise during quiet hours, burn a candle in
your room, skateboard in hallways, put a sign
in your window, or have a guest stay over for
more than four nights per month.
If you're caught breaking these rulesby
residence staff, you could be given a number
of "points" which stay on your record for a
calendar year — even ifyou move to another
residence. Ifyou get more than four points on
your record, UBC has the power to evict you.
UBC can also discipline you in other ways,
like making you move to a different residence
complex or giving you a work assignment
(seriously).
If you're caught breaking the rules, you
can file an appeal within 72 hours. Find the
appeal form at housing.ubc.ca/after-move-
in/residence-standards/.
Inthe real world
If you're living in the "real world" (including
non-UBC-run rental housing on campus),
your rental agreement is governed by the
Residential Tenancy Act.
This means your landlord can't let your
place fall apart, jack your rent up too high, or
evict you without notice or a good reason.
They also can't unreasonably restrict your
guests, or enter your place without permission or written notice.
Landlords are not allowed to discriminate based on race, colour, ancestry, place
of origin, religion, sex, sexual orientation,
disability, source of income or age.
More information on your rights as a tenant is available at tenants.bc.ca.
THE UBYSSEY RELATIONSHIPS 23. Join a club for money, friends, fame
At a commuter school like UBC,
it can be tough to make friends.
Joining a club is a great way to
meet like-minded people and improve
your skills, social or otherwise. And
chances are, ifyou stick around, you
could end up running the thing.
Here are UBC's ten largest clubs in terms
of membership as of last year. Be sure to
check out Clubs Days, which run September
19-21 in the SUB.
1. UBC Ski and Snowboard Club (677)
2. Chinese Varsity Club (596)
3. UBC Sailing Club (571)
4. UBC Yoga Club (545)
5. UBC Film Society (535)
6. Varsity Outdoor Club (520)
7. Chinese Students' Association (367)
8. UBC Food Society (329)
9. UBC Finance Club (293)
lO.Starcraft Club (232)
The AMS makes close to $45,000 available
annually to clubs and constituencies, according to AMS Finance Committee Vice-Chair
Nicola Simpson. That's a pretty big chunk of
change to help make your vision a reality.
£Z*2!*m,t
J^vaSt
sssas-*?**.
"I had to pretty much oversee all the events,
promotions and everyday functions [of the
club] ...I think with most things at UBC, it's
hard to take the first step, but once you get
committed, the saying rings true: you get what
you put in."
24. Resources for LGBTQ+ students
There are a bunch of resources for lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans and queer
at UBC.
•Pride UBC (prideubc.com), an AMS resource group, offers workshops, discussion
groups and social events year-round.
• UBC has a pretty strict policy against harassment or discrimination based on sexual
orientation or gender identity. Ifyou feel like
you might be the target of discrimination or
harassment, contact UBC Equity (equity.ubc.
ca). If you believe yourself or others could be
in physical danger, contact contact Campus
Security (604-822-2222) orthe police (911).
• UBC Equity also has a map of gender-neutral washrooms throughout UBC.
• Our City of Colours (ourcityofcolours.
com) is a group promoting awareness and
support for LGBTQ+ people in different
linguistic and cultural communities around
Vancouver. They offer multicultural and
ESL-inclusive events, too!
• The Health Initiative for Men (check-
himout.ca) has tons of health and wellness
information for men who have sex with men.
• Vancouver Coastal Health offers a youth
drop-in night for transgender people 24 years
old and under, as well as their friends and
loved ones. It happens on Friday evenings,
and more info is available at transhealth.vch.
ca/youth/.
RELATIONSHIPS
THE UBYSSEY 25. Don't form (or maintain)
relationships with shitty people
First year can be a whirlwind. You're relationships [is] really really important,"
uprooted from your friends and your        she said,
hometown and placed in the middle Robert said that a healthy relationship
is nurturing and supportive, and it allows
communication to freely negotiate problems.
"When you start to feel
"Whenyou start to feel that there are      that there are things
things being asked of you that you can't   being asked of you that
or don't want to give... if they're unkind,   you can't or don't want to
if that's a continuing situation, then you    give... if they're unkind,
relationship or friendship want to make sure that you address that, if that's a continuing
that just isn't healthy?       and ifyou can't address it on your own,    situation, then you want
Accordingto Renee       that you get help." to make sure that you ad-
Robert, acting director of dress that, and ifyou can't
UBC Counselling Services, the key is to keep       address it on your own, that you get help."
lirst year can be a whirlwind. You're
uprooted from your friends and your
hometown and placed inthe middle
of a strange new landscape. And you're
expected to latch on to whatever group you
can find to avoid going
through this university
thing alone. But how
do you know if you've
wound up in a romantic
in touch with family and friends from outside
of university for support. "For anybody
who's coming to school in their first year and
maybe living away from their parents for
the first time... maintaining those healthy
Bottom line: Don't stay in a relationship,
or even a friendship, ifyou aren't being
treated with respect. This university is a
huge place, and you can find other people
to associate with who aren't assholes.
Your campus, your news
The Ubyssey, your campus news
source, has been covering UBC since
1918. The paper is largely volunteer
run, and we're staffed by ten full-time
student editors.
The Ubysse]
Want to get involved? At The Ubysse]
you can learn to write, design and;
photos, go to shows, track down t]
story, investigate like a detective!
become super-informed about everything that goes on on campus.
What do you want to do?
News: Current affairs, politics, events
Culture: Reviews, tips, artist profiles
Sports: Game recaps, rec tips, columns
Features: Investigation, longer writing
Photos: Event photos, composed shots
Videos: Learn to shoot, edit, and produce
Design: Put together dazzling visuals
Blog: Bring your unique voice to UBC
lys you can get involved
coordmatmg@ubyssey.ca.
• Come to production on Wednesdays
and Sundays starting at noon and help
us put together the paper.
• Follow on Twitter (@ubyssey) and Face-
book (facebook.com/ubyssey) and send
us tips, gripes or story ideas
• Just wander into our office in SUB 2A.
across from Copyri
THE UBYSSEY RELATIONSHIPS  26. How to drink without making a
fool of yourself
GEOFF LISTER/THE UBYSSEY
This is an extremely important
social skill. Alcohol can be a social
lubricant, but you won't make many
friends ifyou regularly drink yourself into a
goddamn mess.
Jesse Olson advises that you get the urge
to get uber-trashed out of your system.
"Everybody has to go overboard once to
know what it's like, so do it once, get it out
of your system, then try not to do it again,"
he says. And ifyou have a tendency to go
overboard, consider limiting your cash
flow. "Control the amount of liquor that
you bring or the amount that you buy if
you're out," says Kate Burtinsky. "Don't
bring a credit card or a debit card when you
go out. Just bring cash, so that that's your
limit."
Beyond that, don't mix different kinds of
alcohol. Don't start drinking hard liquor late
inthe game. If you're feeling super proactive,
follow each drink with a glass of water. And
taking in some sports drink before bed can be
a lifesaver.
Jesse Olson
"If you're goingto drink underage, have a good
fake ID, or good friends, or perhaps know the
bouncer.... But while you're underage, enjoy being underage, because ifyou go clubbing underage, it gets old and it kills the fun for you."
Kate Burtinsky
"When I drank underage, it was just in
residence. I never tried to get in with a fake
ID and I'm kind of glad because I've heard
stories of people getting kicked out because
of it."
Ian Campbell
"Don't be a drunken first-year, even if
you are, in fact, a drunken first-year....
Keep it together, especially since you're
probably going to be drinking in a residence. You don't want to be evicted.
Don't do things you wouldn't do while
sober.... Don't be like, 'Oh, I'm going to
try this drug because I'm drunk and I
don't care,' because that will end poorly
for you.
Don't punch your computer monitor. I
know someone who did that."
THE UBYSSEY DEBAUCHERY 28. If you choose to take drugs...
As with just about any other university,
ifyou want to find drugs at UBC, you
won't have much trouble. This is the
time in life when many people find the prospect of tinkering with their brain chemistry
appealing. Ifyou feel this urge, here are a few
things to keep in mind:
• B.C.'s famous bud is very strong. Don't smoke
too much ifyou don't have much of a tolerance:
it'll make you a nervous wreck.
• If you're taking edibles (pot brownies,
shrooms, etc.), be aware that they can take
hours to process. So don't mow down on more
right away because you "don't feel high."
• Don't mix drugs, or mix drugs with alcohol.
It's a surefire way to puke your guts out (or
worse).
• Always talk to someone with previous experience before taking anything stronger than
marijuana for the first time.
• Ifyou want to find out how certain doses of
different drugs affect people, try consulting
erowid.com. But take everything you read there
with a grain of salt.
• Get a trusted friend to hang out with you if
you're goingto try hallucinogens. Make sure
they stay sober.
• Having a bad trip is an emotionally scarring
experience. Don't take the possibility lightly, or
laugh at anyone who's experiencing one.
• Don't take a drug for the first time before
goingto a concert.
• Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate.
• Cocaine makes you a shitty person. This is
a rule.
29. How to recover from a night of
excess boozing
The quintessential first-year experience is drinking way past your limit, getting embarrassingly sloppy
and waking up with the hangover from
hell. Congratulations! Now you know how
much booze causes you to be miserable/full
of regrets the next day. Follow these steps
to alleviate your suffering:
1. Down some ibuprofen and a cup of
coffee. (The caffeine is proven to reduce
headaches.)
2. Ifyou can stomach it, go for a big, greasy
breakfast. Bacon and eggs from the rez caf
is a classic. Have some kind of starchy food
too, especially if you're still nauseous. Pho
noodle soup is also a great revitalizer.
3. Go back to bed and make yourself as
comfortable as possible. This means
sweatpants, duvet covers, pillows and your
favourite sitcom streaming gently in the
background. Keep a bowl or bucket by the
bed for any surprise pukes. (Or alternatively, do something active to get yourself
sweating and not wallowing in sorrow).
4. Drink as much water as you can
throughout the day. Sports drinks help
as well.
5. Assess the damage by checking your outgoing texts and calls from last night. Did
you drunk-dial your best friend's mom? Did
you sext your ex? Now you know, so you
can avoid eye contact accordingly.
DEBAUCHERY
THE UBYSSEY 30. How to drink for cheap
Ifyou hadn't noticed, booze is quite
expensive in Vancouver. Luckily, ifyou
know where to look, you can find cheap
swill in a reasonably good atmosphere. Here
are a handful of reasonably-priced drinking
establishments.
Dentry's
It is certainly the closest bar to campus.
There's usuallya daily pitcher special.
Gargoyles
One of the latest-closing bars in the neighbourhood, with cheap appetizers and an
awesome table hockey machine.
The Coppertank
This bar has a million TVs on the walls,
so don't plan on having any really deep
conversations here. They also sell 24-ounce
tankards of beer for around $7.
Kitsilano Public House
This pool hall has all the atmosphere of a
Street Fighter level.
The Fringe
It wins the ambience category hands
down. It's dim and intimate, with decent
beer on tap, good music, no TVs and a
friendly, no-nonsense staff. A good place to
take dates.
Lola's
The closest thing there is to a dance club on
the West Side. They have a bunch of student
night deals and are the source of the most
noise complaints in Kits. Enjoy it while it lasts.
The Cambie
A large, cheap and divey hostel-affiliated bar
downtown There are lots of pitchers and big
tables, but it's super busy.
THE UBYSSEY DEBAUCHERY
=HOTOS FROM P0INTGREYVILLAGE.C0M.G0HIPSTER.COM. VANPUBS.COM
AND CIVIXEN (FLICKR) 31. How to drink with class
Ever had a Sauder student mix you
an Old-Fashioned in their dorm
room? Sorry, buddy, you ain't no
Don Draper. Best leave the classy drinks to
the professionals. If you're ever flush with
cash and feel like getting properly gin-
soaked, consider checking out one of these
fine Vancouver establishments.
The Cascade Room (2616 Main Street)
The cocktails at the Cascade Room will
melt your face off. Their massive drinks
menu mixes classic cocktails (like Manhattans, gin fizzes and mojitos) with some
of their own inventions. Each drink will
set you back around $10, but you'll be right
liquored after just one.
The Cellar Jazz Club (3611 West
Broadway)
You can't beat the Cellar for atmosphere.
On Mondays, cover is only $5 for students,
and on Tuesdays it's free. People who know
things about modern jazz say it brings
in some pretty fresh musicians, so you
might be a little more cultured after your
evening out.
Biercraft (3305 Cambie Street and 1191
Commercial)
Belgian style-brews and classy pub food.
Their beer list is huge, and while many
pints will run you around $10, they're
generally quite strong. Plus, Biercraft puts
on lots of social media contests for free
Whitecaps tickets and cnft certificates
»w
^Engineering
"ThebestplacetogetabeerinVancouveFis"
the Alibi Room [157 Alexander Street] because
they have over 80 taps, and ifyou like beer and
you don't just want to drink beer to get drunk,
you go to the Alibi Room."
32. Finding a good theme party
Some say that theme parties are a sad
attempt to make social gatherings
less awkward by imposing burdensome dress codes, which make those who
didn't bother wearing a costume feel like
stick-in-the-mud losers and those who did
feel like try-hard dweebs. Others seem to
enjoy them.
If you're in the latter group, maybe
you'd like to experiment with party
themes beyond Tight 'n' Bright. Here are
some suggestions.
Dead Relatives Party: Dress up as your
favourite relative who is dead. Spend the
whole night making a game out of trying
your best not to cry.
Segregation Party: Find a physical quality as arbitrary as ethnicity and rigidly divide
your party on that basis. Maybe people with
connected earlobes can't eat snacks from the
same table as people with detached earlobes.
Prank Party: Make your party an event
on Facebook. Then all of your friends show
up, but instead of a party, they're in a remote
vacant lot filled with used syringes, dandelions
and corroded rebar. Pranked! You just made all
your friends like you a little more.
DEBAUCHERY
THE UBYSSEY 32. Where to drink on any given night
of the week
MONDAY
Trivia at The Cove (Kitsilano). The game
starts at 8 p.m., but get there at least an hour
early as the place fills up fast. Pitchers are $14,
but that's for good beer.
Ice Cream Social at The Waldorf (East
Van): It's kind of far away, but this dance
night with music from the fifties and sixties is
hugely popular.
TUESDAY
Gallery Karaoke (UBC SUB). It's on campus
and it's a UBC institution. They have a pretty
decent songbook and a relaxed vibe. Karaoke
starts at 9 p.m.
Open Mic at Corduroy (Kitsilano). If your
music skills have evolved beyond yelling your
way through "Bohemian Rhapsody" along
with 10 of your drunkest friends, try your
hand at performing here.
WEDNESDAY
Pit Night (UBC SUB). Once a week, a whole
bunch of UBC students choose to share in the
collective hallucination that this dark little
student pub is, in fact, a nightclub.
Ifyou want to join them, go early to
avoid the line, and expect a packed and
makeout-filled dance floor.
THURSDAY
Thursday is the unofficial Drink Cheap Beer
Off-Campus Day. There are $1.59 beers (10
ounces, but still) at Room 18 in Kitsilano
THE UBYSSEY DEBAUCHERY
(though they will make you order food after
the first two rounds).
$1.59 beers are also available at the Backstage Lounge on Granville Island, plus there's
a live band. There is a cover charge, though.
There are also $2 beers at Elwood's
on Broadway.
FRIDAY & SATURDAY
There aren't many specials to be had on Friday
or Saturday, as most places generally assume
you'll want to go out anyway. Since you don't
have class tomorrow, consider venturing out
ofthe campus/west side bubble and trying one
of these spots:
If you're into flash, Top 40 and payingtoo
much, there are plenty of nightclubs along
Granville Street downtown that will be
happy to take your money.
Ifyou prefer something a little less mainstream, try the live acts at the Biltmore, the
Cobalt or Electric Owl.
If you're into craft beer, The Alibi Room
on the Downtown Eastside or St. Augustine's on Commercial are the places to go. If
you're intent on having someone entertain
you, the Comedy Mix downtown, Yuk Yuk's
on Cambie or Vancouver Theatresports
on Granville Island are always good for
some laughs.
SUNDAY
If your day of rest consists of some crispy
brews, there's still a special to be had.
Although (unlike Saturday) you do have
class tomorrow, over at Gargoyles the
special is all ofthe week's daily specials
at once. 33. PANEL: STRANGE PLACES TO HAVE SEX
Oh, you kids and your hormones!
At some point, you may find that
you really need to have sex, but
your bedroom is too far away or too boring.
So, like these enterprising folks, you may
have to get creative. Crazy sex-havers, we
salute you.
A horizontal ovation
Jesse Olson: "One of my personal favourites
is the forest outside ofthe Chan auditorium.
As a concert was getting under, there were a
couple of people just giving it right outside!"
Stay classy, Pit Night
Kate Burtinsky: "Personally, I think it's
crazy to do it in the Pit bathrooms. I've
heard of people doing that, and I'm like, no,
no, no, NO! Gross."
What!? You live a minute away!
Urooba Jamal: "On the Totem dance floor,
I've heard. That's as crazy as it gets, I
think."
Fuck away that exam stress
Ethan Wong: "I've actually heard that
people have done it in the Harry Potter
Room in Irving — with clothes on!... Also,
people have done it inthe handicap bath
room on the second floor of Hennings....
And apparently when Irving was first built,
quite a few did it in the top-floor bathroom
there."
Your public realm is showing
Marjan Hatai: The bouncy bushes. I've
heard, like, in stairwells in residence sometimes, those were probably the worst. Or in
the Pit bathrooms. Super classy.
A brief history of sex on campus
Ian Campbell: Somebody must've had sex
on the Knoll... A really hilarious one is
always in someone else's bed, like the two
of you go to your other friend's bed when
they're not there. That's a pretty horrible
thing to do but it's hilarious. I'm going to
assume that people have had sex in the
majority of classes on this campus, too.
And club spaces. The Cheeze, don't have
sex in there. I don't want you having sex
in my building. It's gross and old, but I
know people who have had sex in there.
Like on the couches in the Cheeze. At least
they're leather couches and they're not
fabric...And The Ubyssey office, make sure
to mention them. Every time I walk into
this office I feel like I might catch something by sitting on the couches.
DEBAUCHERY
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< D 34. So you decided to go to a frat
party
Atrip to the fraternity village on a
Saturday night might leave you
with some lifelong memories ... or a
skull-splitting headache.
Often, the most extreme, stereotypical
behaviour comes from outsiders who believe that frat parties are an opportunity to
be as obnoxious as possible. However, for
students who jibe with the whole Greek life
thing, frat parties offer a local alternative
for meeting people in a fun environment —
no debauchery required.
"I personally love them because everyone knows each other," says UBC Sororities
communications director Kate Burtinsky.
"It's not like a club where you go and it's all
these strangers rubbing up against you...it's
a bunch of friends having a good time."
There are some mainstays that any
party-goer can expect: throngs of sweaty
people, loud music of questionable quality
and, of course, beer-pong. If you're willing
to throw yourself in, you might just have a
good time.
AT PARTY EXPERIENCE
Jesse Olson: It's a gong show! Complete
gong show. It's tons of fun... it could be difficult depending on whether you fit in or not,
because [with] frats, people still judge, people
are still kind of dicks. But ifyou fit in, you'll
have a good time; if not, then you can have a
great time elsewhere.
Ian Campbell: You'll go in and the temperature will be about eight million degrees
inside. You'll probably have a tough time
getting through the crowd at the front...
THE UBYSSEY DEBAUCHERY
There'll be beer pong going all the time.
Probably goingto be some people making
out on the couch. Everyone will be standing in the kitchen and it'll be impossible
to get through because kitchen parties are
where it's at. You have to watch what you
do, because late in the night, because ofthe
nature of house parties, people go a little
bit nuts...
Ethan Wong: Basically there are just 50 guys
and 3 girls, it's a complete sausage fest. 36. So you decided to go to the
nightclub
KAI JACOBSON/THE UBYSSEY
1. Pre-drink with your friends. Paying for
cover and drinks adds up.
2. Don't go out too late. Clubs here close
early, and ifyou turn up just a few hours
before they close, you might run into a
crazy-long line that renders your night
out pointless.
3. Keep an open mind. Everyone has different preferences, and the clubbing scene
here may not be your cup of tea. At the very
least, look up what clubs seem the best fit
for you instead of going with the crowd
and being forced to dance to music you
can't stand.
4. As you can probably deduce from the
above, clubbing here is expensive. For a
good night out, plan to spend no less than
$50 on:
a) Pre-drinking
b) Cover and coat check
c) Drinks at the club
d) A taxi home (optional, but ifyou were
drunk enough to dance all night, you might
opt to splurge).
PANEL: CLUBBING
Ian Campbell: I can't stand clubs...It's a
group of people at those establishments that
are going out to get fucked up. It's almost
neanderthal-like, you could say. I think the
problem I have with a lot of clubs is that you
can't carry on a conversation with someone
because the music is so loud.
Ethan Wong: Clubbing here is overrated and
it is expensive. But ifyou choose your nights
well then you'll have a good time. There are
some issues at clubs here, but I've had a lot of
good nights and it can be worth it ifyou only
go sometimes.
Kate Burtinsky: It's tons of fun. As a student, pre-drink before you go out. Ifyou have
a group of friends, you'll always have a good
time, but ifyou want to have a good time by
yourself, then you have to be comfortable
with talking to people, meeting strangers,
making new friends.
Urooba Jamal: I've only really been to a
couple and I don't go too often. I would just
say, go with your girlfriends, that's the fun-
nest. I don't think that it would be something
that I personally would like to do every single
weekend, I'm more of a slam poetry night
kind of girl.
DEBAUCHERY
THE UBYSSEY 37. How to get your ass home
Accidently taking a cab home from
downtown late at night is a great
way to destroy your budget. Fortunately, TransLink has 12 night bus routes
that run until well after 2 a.m.
The N17 will be your best friend if you're
out late downtown. The last bus leaves
Howe and Pender at 3:09 a.m., and arrives
at UBC at around 3:30. And on certain
night buses, you can request stops that
aren't necessarily on the route. Head over
to translink.ca for route information, or
m.transitdb.ca on your cell. Try not to get
puked on!
Here's a full list ofthe night buses:
N6—Downtown/West End
N8—Downtown/Fraser
N9—Downtown/Coquitlam Station
N10—Downtown/Richmond
N15—Downtown/Cambie
N16—Nanaimo/Renfrew
N17—Downtown/UBC
N19—Downtown/Surrey Central Station
N20—Downtown/Victoria
N22—Downtown/Dunbar
N24—Downtown/Upper Lonsdale
N35—Downtown/SFU
SAVE UP
TO 90%
ON USED
TEXTBOOKS
AND 35%
ON NEW
TEXTBOOKS
BEING OF FASHIONISTA MIND but of thrift store
means, I will hereby spend less for my textbooks in order
to save money for that must-have pair of skinny jeans.
amazon.ca/textbooks
THE UBYSSEY DEBAUCHERY 38. Have fun in September...after all, it's just
five weeks 'til midterms!
UBC is at its best in September. The
campus is reinvigorated with fresh
blood and clear skies. The students
who have been toiling all summer to improve
their club, student group or service have their
moment inthe sun. People see old friends,
make new ones, stay out late and create the
kind of memories that make UBC more than
a degree factory.
We don't want to say that UBC is a damp,
grey ball of stress for the rest ofthe year.
But let's be real. Come November, most
of you will have abandoned pants with
non-elastic waistbands.
Students are "doing things" year-round,
no doubt about that. They're putting
on club events, attending conferences,
running businesses, holding beer gardens,
planning road trips and so forth. But it's
September when this campus shines.
People are excited about what they're
doing. Everything is fresh and new. There
are concerts on campus, people are drunk
in public, and you don't need an excuse to
be that guy who's high-fiving everyone. It's
enough to make you want to climb to the
nearest rooftop and shout "COLLEGE!" at
the top of your lungs.
The moral here? Don't clam up. It sounds
cliche, but get out there, meet new people, get
in some weird situations. Join everything.
Don't say no to anything that's not illegal or
against your (still flexible) moral code. Being
jaded is boring.
39. How to show off Vancouver to out-of-towners
GEOFF LISTER/THE UBYSSEY
• Wreck Beach: Be prepared to see naked
people everywhere (even in the colder
months) and experience a hippie vibe in
the summer. Expect drums, naked women
hula-hooping and some weird guy trying to
sell you magic mushrooms.
• The Rose Garden: A well-manicured little
garden set against a breathtaking ocean
vista. Useful for reminding yourself that
the world is not an awful place when you're
coming off of a three-day cram session.
• The Museum of Anthropology: It's a nationally recognized museum full of interesting things, right on campus — and it's free
for students.
• Nitobe Memorial Gardens: Lovely views
and a sense of peace. Students get in for free.
• Pacific Spirit Park: This park's great hiking
trails make for an enjoyable day outside.
•Gastown: Forget the stupid Steam Clock
and souvenir shops, and focus on the
cute restaurants, craft beer pubs and
eclectic boutiques.
•Main Street: This street is full of great,
cheap food and vintage/thrift stores. Walk
along and explore! At the very least, you're
guaranteed to find a fantastic meal.
LIFE AS YOU CHOOSE TO LIVE I
THE UBYSSEY 40. Get to the beach   M41. Climb some
in September II mountains
The weather is goingto start
sucking before you know it, so get
out and enjoy Vancouver's many
beaches sooner rather than later.
Spanish Banks
A beach close to campus that's great for
barbecues, volleyball and seeing the city
lights across Vancouver at sunset.
Kitsilano Beach
Extremely crowded on sunny days, but
with a beautiful view across the water
and lots of concession stands lining
the beachfront.
English Bay
This popular downtown beach is the location ofthe annual Celebration of Light, the
biggest offshore fireworks celebration in
the world.
Jericho Beach
A relaxing place for picnics, fishing,
kayaking, volleyball and of course, just
lazing around.
Grouse Mountain
There are several routes you can take to the
top, one of thembeingthe notorious Grouse
Grind. You could hop the fence and do the
trail while there's still snow on the ground,
but ifyou go while the Grind is officially open,
expect a not-exactly-tranquil path clogged with
Lulu-clad gym rats. The paths less travelled
by, such as the BCMC Trail, Baden-Powell
Trail and Larsen Trail, get you to the top via a
gentler incline.
Shannon Falls / The Chief
Located just outside of Squamish, the Chief is
about an hour's drive away, but it's well worth
it. It's a bit of a tough hike, but once you get to
the top, the views are jaw-dropping.
Mount Gardner / Killarney Lake
Located on Bowen Island, Mount Gardner will
take about five hours to hike, and there are
magnificent views of Howe Sound from the
peak. Killarney Lake (also on Bowen) is a much
shorter walk and not too difficult; the tranquility ofthe area is very soothing. Visiting Bowen
Island makes for a good day trip in general.
The Lions / The Lions Binkert Trail
It's a tough one: 16 kilometres long and 1,280
metres of elevation. But the summit has
stunning views of Howe Sound, the Capilano
Watershed and the Vancouver skyline. You can
also see these iconic peaks from almost anywhere in the city, so you can point to them and
say, "Yeah, I've been to the top of that."
THE UBYSSEY LIFE AS YOU CHOOSE TO LIVE IT 42. Check out these
Van buzz bands...
CiTR's Discorder knows more about
this than we do, but hey, let's give this
a shot:
Japandroids
With a distinctively raw and youthful sound,
this duo gained recognition outside of Vancouver's rock scene with the recent release of
their second album, Celebration Rock.
Mother Mother
Releasing since the mid-2000s, this five-
piece band's cool beats and unpredictable lyrics make them a staple of West
Coast music.
Destroyer   ^^^"sbbbbL
The shoegazers among us flock to this solo
act; the poetic, meditative lyrics place Destroyer on the softer side ofVan's indie scene.
Teen Daze IffE
Duringthe Chillest Summer Ever of 2010,
Teen Daze gained and secured standing in
the genre through several notable remixes.
Apollo Ghosts
A three-piece pop-rock band fronted by an
elementary school teacher. As a bonus, lyrics
often contain local references!
NuSensae ^^ED^
This three-piece "grunge-punk" is a standout, notable for strong female musicians and
energetic drums. Their live performances are
not for the faint of heart. -
ZANY!
Delhi To Dublin (D2D)   __  L     =
This fusion group combines elements of
traditional Irish and Indian music, with an
entertainingly bouncy result.
43. ...or some new
acts at these venues
The Cellar Jazz Club (3611 West
Broadway)
This small basement jazz club is only a
10-minute bus ride from campus. The price
of cover varies based on the night's performers. Check their site for details on their
student nights.
Backstage Lounge (1585 Johnston
Street)
This lounge has cheap beers, daily drink
specials and bands performing every night.
It has a great vibe and a dance floor once the
live music gets going.
The Bourbon (50 West Cordova Street)
This is Vancouver's only country bar. With
well-priced drinks, live country bands and
free bull-riding every Friday and Saturday,
it's great if you're up for something different!
The Railway Club (579 Dunsmuir Street)
This hidden gem has been around since the
1930s, and it's where a lot of bands got their
start, including the Barenaked Ladies, The
Tragically Hip and more. It caters to all age
groups and is a nice, cozy place to have a
good beer and enjoy live music.
Electric Owl Social Club (928 Main
Street)
This is a relatively new venue that's also
really popular. It's spacious, has cheap drinks
and an interesting Japanese fusion menu.
Live acts usually run on the indie side.
LIFE AS YOU CHOOSE TO LIVE
T
THE UBYSSEY            41 44. Cheer on some Local Sports Teams!
Unfortunately for students,
tickets to Vancouver Canucks games are damned
expensive. Fortunately, there are plenty
of alternatives.
The B.C. Lions (Canadian Football
League), Vancouver Whitecaps (Major League Soccer), Vancouver Giants
(under 21 hockey league) and Vancouver
Canadians (minor league baseball) are
all quality entertainment for not too
much money. The crowd environment is
almost always fun, too.
"B.C. Place [is the best live place] because you can watch Whitecap and B.C.
Lions [games]," says Jesse Olson. "I'm also
a big lacrosse fan, and there's a couple of
junior and senior teams around here that I
like to watch."
However, if you're willing to part with
a hundred dollars (or more) for your
ticket, going to a Canucks game is a hell of
an experience.
Oh, and you know who else is cheap to
watch and always puts on a good show?
The UBC Thunderbirds!
45. Cheer on the Thunderbirds!
<AI JACOBSON & JOSH CURRAWHE UBYSSEY
Popular UBC T-Bird teams include womens soccer
(top) and football.
UBC is one ofthe best athletics schools
in the nation, and the majority of our
teams are in contention for Canada
West championships every year. And for barely
over $10, you can join the Blue Crew (the
T-Birds' supporters group) and get into every
single game during the year.
The big team to watch this year is the
football squad. Led by last year's CIS player of
the year, quarterback Billy Greene, the T-Birds
made the Canada West final. With Greene
and many other starters returning, things are
looking up, and the team will come back very
motivated this year. The women's basketball
team was one win away frombecoming national champions last season. Their speed and
shooting ability is fun to watch, and third-year
Kris Young is one ofthe best players in the
country. Men's hockey is an up-and-coming
team that's rapidly improving and poised to
make a deep playoff run this year. The Canada
West teams play an exciting brand of hockey
with no shortage of goals and action, and you
can get right up close to witness it all.
Value-wise, there's no better option for
sports fans than goingto UBC Thunderbirds
games.
42        .     THE UBYSSEY LIFE AS YOU CHOOSE TO LIVE IT 46. Forget those movies about college
In case you haven't realized by now, life
isn't like the movies. While Animal
House has a reputation as the iconic
university film, UBC isn't anything like it.
• There are no all-you-can-eat cafeterias.
Get used to paying through the nose for
food and drinks.
• Don't expect UBC President Stephen
Toope to show up at your door when you
get in trouble. Even ifyou are on double
secret probation.
47. Learn some life
skills
Keep yourself sane and take a break
from classwork to learn a practical,
fun new skill.
AMS Minischool offers a variety of
non-academic courses, like bellydance,
cardio lapdance, emergency first aid, power
yoga, wine tasting, tarot reading, acting and
bartending. The courses vary from year to
year, but there are always a lot of choices.
Ifyou like to play sports, UBC Rec has a
variety of leagues at various skill levels. Some
ofthe more popular ones are ultimate frisbee, soccer/futsal, basketball and hockey.
Clubs are a great way to learn a new skill
and meet other people who have similar
interests.
Here are a few you can try: UBC Pottery
Club, UBC Aqua Society (scuba diving!), UBC
Varsity Outdoor Club (crazy hikes!) and the
UBC Wargamers Society (RPGs galore!).
• Varsity athletes aren't gods who can get
away with anything.
• Professors don't leave answers to exams
in the trash and they won't smoke pot with
their students.
• There will be parties, but they won't be
every night and they won't be as big and
crazy as might expect.
• There will be lots of immaturity and shenanigans, but you generally have to keep
your shit together to make it at UBC.
48. A crash course in
Canada
Canada is a massive country with a
rich history. For more on that, take
some Canadian History. Here's a
quick idiot's guide:
• Canadian spelling: Use Canadian spelling
on your assignments. Centre and theatre, not
center and theater. You cash a cheque at the
bank, not a check. Words end in -ize, not -
ise: realize, capitalize, etc.
• MSP: Apply for the Medical Services
Plan (MSP) as soon as you get here. Health
insurance is something you want to deal
with before you get sick, not once you're in
the hospital.
• Working: Finding a job is hard enough,
and it can be even tougher for international
students. You can work on campus without a
special work permit, so look into UBC's Work
Learn program. Ifyou have to go off campus,
you'll need to apply for a work permit before
you can get a job.
• Get a SIN number: Ifyou want to work here
or have access to government benefits, you'll
need to apply for a Social Insurance Number.
It doesn't cost anything and you can apply
by mail, or just go to the nearest Service
Canada Centre.
LIFE AS YOU CHOOSE TO LIVE
THE UBYSSEY 49. How to avoid getting II50. Five food items to
ripped off in the caf     II keep in your dorm
JOSH CURRAWHE UBYSSEY
The cafeterias in Totem and Vanier
are a blessing when you're away
from home for the first time. There
are a few items on the menu, however, that
are a complete gouge. Purchase them at
your peril.
Anything from Magda's or Hubbards
The late-night convenience stores in Totem
and Vanier offer just that: convenience.
They're convenient for when you've been
studying for hours, your willpower is depleted and you're willing to pay any price for that
hit of salt, MSG or sugar. But you're better
off stockingup on a few staples eleswhere
(see the next tip for a list of must-have dorm
foodstuffs). The overpriced munchies you
buy at these stores might hit the spot at the
moment, but are bound to make you crash a
couple of hours later.
Certain items from the salad bars
The salad bars in the cafs are priced by
weight, so watch out for heavy garnishes
like olives, pickles and hard-boiled eggs.
Drinks
Think about it: ifyou pay $1.75 per day for a
juice or soda from the caf (more for iced tea
and vitamin water), you're spending more
than $50 a month on useless refreshments.
This is especially easy to do when you're
using your meal card, so be careful.
l.GranolaBars
They're healthy, they come in different varieties (fruit, nut, chocolate, etc.), and they're
tasty and filling. Plus, they don't go bad.
2. Fruit
When picking fruit, apples and bananas are
go-to choices: they don't need to be refrigerated
and have a decent shelf life. Mandarin oranges
are also great to have on hand, since they're
easy to peel and give you a boost of Vitamin C.
But be careful to not let your fruit rot; fruit flies
and the sour-sweet stench will not be pleasant.
3. Rice cakes
They may sound boring, but with an array of
different flavours (such as cheddar or sour
cream and onion), you're bound to find some-
thingyou like. If plain is more your style, try
them with some nut butter or jam on top for a
more filling snack. The mini rice cakes are also
a perfect snack food; they taste just as good as
chips and are a much healthier alternative.
4. Condiments
Stock up on jams, jellies, nut butters and
spreads for those times when you're craving
a hint of something sugary yet not too junky.
Peanut butter is great on anything from
fruit to plain old bread, jam goes well with
plain yogurt or English muffins, and Nutella
is simply good on anything (even just on a
spoon).
5. Fresh food
If you're lucky enough to have a mini-
fridge, take advantage and stock up
on fresh food once in a while. It's a lot
more exciting and tastes a million times
better than packaged stuff. Some specific
examples could include bread, deli meats,
yogurt, cheese and milk.
THE UBYSSEY
HOW TO FEED YOURSELF 51. Food to stock when you actually
have a kitchen
Any schlub with a microwave can
make ramen or Chef Boyardee for
dinner. The problem with those
types of foods, however, is that they're more
expensive than homemade versions and
could be full of harmful additives. If you'd
like to start preparing some simple home-
cooked meals, here are the items you need to
stock up on:
• Dried beans or chickpeas: They cost
practically nothing, and will fulfill your
daily protein quota in a pinch. Just make
sure you skim off the foam when you cook
them to prevent excessive (and awkward)
flatulence.
• Brown rice/whole-wheat pasta: Essential belly-filling starch. The non-white
varieties will give you more energy and
won't pack on the pounds.
• Flour and quick-rise yeast: Ifyou can handle
three hours of waiting around and 15 minutes
of actual work, it may be worthwhile to learn
how to bake bread. It's easy, and the resulting
loaf will cost one-tenth of a store-bought one.
• Onions and garlic: Onions and garlic are essential for almost everything you'll cook, from
one-pot student meals to impress-Mom-and-
Dad mini-feasts.
• Spices: Spices will send even the drabbest
ingredients to flavour country. Turmeric,
chili powder and cumin can add a curry- es-
que kick; oregano and basil are the backbone
of pasta sauce; ground coriander, oregano
and cayenne pepper will give you the flavour
needed for a decent chili or taco meat seasoning; and soy sauce and ginger will work for a
basic stir fry.
52. Become a vegetarian
to save money
Soy products and legumes are the
wave ofthe future. Once Earth
is filled with 12 billion people all
desperately tryingto survive inthe face of
global pandemics and hothouse weather
anomalies, nobody will have the resources to raise animals for food. Plus, tofu
and beans are way cheaper than steaks
and chops.
Ifyou don't like the texture of tofu and
you think beans are a less-than-magical
fruit, look online for recipes that disguise
these ingredients or push them to the background. Curries, chili and tomato-based
pastas are good for this. Any way you look
at it, going vegetarian — even nine meals out
often — brings benefits. You'll save surplus
cash for fun times, cut a lot of fat out of your
diet and reduce your risk of heart disease.
Jesse Olson: "Knock up hotdogs in
there, throw in some potstickers....
Maybe use it in a stir fry after you drain
Denise Tom: "When I do cook ramen,
I add whatever leftover meat I have.
I add lots of veggies. [And] hot
sauce,... hot sauce is key."
Ethan Wong: "I love to throw in an
egg, sunny side up."
HOW TO FEED YOURSELF THE UBYSSEY 54. You probably don't need to worry about
the Freshman 15, unless you're an idiot
There's a lot of debate around
whether the oft-cited "Freshman
15" actually exists.
It would seem to make sense that such
a major lifestyle change as moving away
from home would have an effect on one's
physique. But a 2011 study from the University of Ohio argued that the average weight
gain for college students was only around
3.4 pounds. Less than 10 per cent actually
put on the fabled 15.
There doesn't seem to be any UBC
data, but one can speculate the average
would be even lower.
For one, UBC cafeterias charge per
item, whereas many schools in the US
have a flat all-you-can eat rate.
The key to our comparatively fit student
population may also lie in location. Vancouverites tend to be freakishly in shape; plus,
our liquor laws don't allow for late-night
beer runs to the gas station.
To actually gain 15 pounds, you'd have to put
in some serious work. A few suggestions:
• Don't sleep. Lack of sleep contributes to
over-eating.
• Eat at the caf grill twice a day.
• Drink an excessive amount of beer. Don't
forget the drunk snacks.
• Wing Wednesday.
• Take advantage of those twisted Domino's
student deals. There's something evil going
on there.
• Starch, starch, starch.
55. There is such a thing as a free lunch at UBC
i
f you're resourceful and not too picky,
there is a ton of free food available
around campus.
• Hit up Clubs Days. Feign interest.
Go to the first club meeting, gorge
on Timbits and pocket orange
pekoe teabags.
• Check online to see if there are any
public lectures or colloquia on campus, or
go to the visual arts grad class exhibition
and eat their finger food.
• Volunteer. Undergraduate societies
love free labour, and in return for your
hard work, they will often throw a thank-
you ice cream party.
• Troll the interwebz for open houses
from other post-secondaries, such as
SFU or VFS. Go especially if it's at night,
because they will offer sandwiches and
Costco cookies. Pretend you're interested, but end with, "But I'm still not really
sure if I want to switch majors ..." and the
recruiters will back off.
THE UBYSSEY
HOW TO FEED YOURSELF 56. How to deal with II57. Where to get a
culture shock II cheap bike
The soup isn't goingto taste how
Mom makes it anymore. Your
classes might have 500 people in
them, and you no longer get to eat lunch
with all of your high school friends.
Coming to university is a time of transition.
For some students, these changes can be
so dramatic as to cause a sense of 'culture
shock.'
"[UBC] was a big shock in the beginning," said recent graduate Ethan Wong.
Peter Wenyenya, International Student
Advisor, Special Populations & Programs at
UBC International House, explained that
moving to a school as large as UBC is likely to
leave new students a little bit disoriented.
"[It occurs] through social, cultural
transitions, exposure to new ways of
being, new ways of thinking, new ways of
doing," said Wenyenya.
"The fact that you're meeting so many
different people, and all at once, was a little
bit overwhelming... but I really embraced
it," says third-year student Urooba Jamal.
Rather than feeling uncomfortable,
Wenyenya hoped students would see
these differences as an opportunity.
"Things that are shocking aren't just
negative things," added Wenyenya. "They
can be very positive things. Because
through that process you learn about yourself, you learn about the new place you're
transitioning to, you learn about ways you
can adapt."
Recent graduate Denise Tom advises
remembering you're definitely not alone in
experiencing big changes.
"All ofthe first-years are inthe same
boat as you, so you can bond over that. And
it was kind of hard to find my way around
campus and get used to everything, but just
give it a bit of time and you'll be fine."
Having a bike in Vancouver is a must.
The city is extremely bike-able,
it's relatively flat (the hill to UBC
notwithstanding), and you can generally get
to most places in Kitsilano faster by bike than
by bus. Finding the perfect bike on a student
budget, however, is tough. Lucas Gallagher,
from the AMS Bike Kitchen, has a few tips for
getting a used bike without getting ripped off.
Give the bike a "drop test"
"Ifyou can pick the bike up and drop it and
it sounds really loose and is rattling, you're
going to have loose bearings which is going
to be a larger problem down the road."
If you can't ride it with no hands, pass.
"You should be able to ride no-handed. If
you're not able to, that would indicate some
kind of alignment trouble or greater issue
with the bike that isn't identifiable right
away."
Avoid steel rims
"Steel rims are really shiny; they're chromed,
which is a dead giveaway. Ifyou don't feel
like you can identify them, bring a magnet. If
the magnet sticks to the braking surface, it's
steel and it's not goingto brake well and it's
not going to be a good value. Go for aluminum rims."
...on "Cheap Student Bikes" on Broadway
"That place is called Ride On. They have the
huge banner that says 'Cheap Student Bikes,'
and they don't fix their bikes. They get the
bikes, they flip them around, they're cheap
but they're not repaired right...I warn people
against it, not because they're a bad shop and
trying to rip people off, but because you'll end
up having to spend more on it."
LIFE AS YOU CHOOSE TO LIVE IN THE UBYSSEY 58. Point/Counterpoint: fraternities and
sororities
GEOFF LISTER^HE UBYSSEY
Before you think toga party bros or
horrible hazing traditions (this
ain't U of A, after all), know UBC
actually has a large Greek system dedicated
to fostering friendships, building a professional network and hosting social events
(did someone say frat party?).
"I would recommend it for someone who
wants to make deeper connections with a
group of friends." says Ian Campbell, third-
year electrical engineer and member ofthe
engineering fraternity Sigma Phi Delta. "As
for what I've gotten out of it: very life-long
friends."
On the negative side, joining the Greek
system can cost you both time and money.
"It's really expensive for some people,
and I think they just tend to have a kind
of exclusivity that isn't too appealing for
people. I think you could get a better experience just joining a normal social club,"
says recent graduate Ethan Wong.
So if a tightly knit group of people bound
by brotherhood/sisterhood sounds like your
thing, feel free to rush or go to their orientation in September. If not, there is still a
plethora of other organizations that promote
social events and long-lasting friendships
that are much cheaper.
59. What to do if your parents go crazy
When parents are faced with an
empty nest for the first time, they
tend to go a little bit crazy. Just
think: they've spent the past 18 years raising a
small human into a larger human, and now that
human has gone off to college to delay adulthood for about another decade, be ungrateful
and shake them down for money constantly. So
now what?
Some parents hover: the infamous "helicopter parent." The worst cases call up their
student's profs and the administration, check in
constantly and leave wistful Facebook messages about how much they love you and stuff.
Believe it or not, universities hate this kind
of behaviour. Helicopter parents are a real pain
for all levels ofthe university administration,
from residence staffers up to faculty deans. In
their book Campus Confidential, Ken Coates
and Bill Morrison detail a few instances of helicopter parents at their worst. At an unnamed
Canadian university, one mother slept on her
daughter's dorm floor for three weeks while
she got "adjusted." Others have accompanied
their grown-ass children to job interviews. As
the authors point out, "these are the same parents who produced the most cosseted children
in history." They don't know what else to do. So
what happens if your parents are overly clingy?
Or start doing weird thingslike emailing your
profs to ask how you're doing in class?
They might benefit from some highly
educated people telling them that their kid is
goingto be fine. UBC runs a handful of parent
orientations; for more information, check out
students.ubc.ca/parents/. So do the teary goodbye thing, check in, and tell mom and dad you'll
see them in December.
THE UBYSSEY
LIFE AS YOU CHOOSE TO LIVE IN 60. Get a job
Working while you're in school
can pay the bills, build experience or give you a taste of your
future career. So long as it doesn't get in
the way of your studies, there's a lot to gain.
There are a number of jobs on campus
that are tailored for students; some ofthe
biggest employers are the AMS, the UBC
Library, and UBC Athletics and Rec. Many
research assistant positions are administered through the Work Study/Work
Learn program, which offers part-time
student jobs.
All the Work Study positions — and a
bunch of other jobs — are listed on UBC's
CareersOnline database (careersonline.
ubc.ca/student/).
For off-campus work, you can start by
cruising Craigslist want ads. Search using
the name of your neighbourhood and keywords about the jobs you want.
While hunting, it's important to keep
your resume up-to-date. The Centre for
Student Involvement has resume workshops and one-on-one advising sessions.
Lots of information about resume formatting and style is also on their website:
students.ubc.ca/careers/students/get-ca-
reer-guidance/job-search-skills/resumes/
And sometimes the best thing is just hitting the pavement and dropping resumes at
various employers in your area. In restaurants and retail, sometimes positions open
before they're posted. Also, try to milk any
possible opportunities available through
friends, family and social media.
Once you land an interview, remember
to be well prepared: dress nice, bring a
copy of your resume, check in with your
references, find out a bunch about the
company (and the position, and the interviewer) and get a good night's rest.
Good luck!
61. How to commute
It's Monday morning at 7:40 a.m. on
the 99 B-Line. Where your rez-living
counterparts can roll out of bed at
8:55, you have to haul ass all the way from
the suburbs. To fit into the collective of
overworked students stuck on a cramped
bus, don't try to be overly happy or chatty.
Make a grumpy expression and silently
stoke your anger at TransLink instead.
"It made me unhappy, waking up so early,"
said Urooba Jamal, a third-year internaional
relations major who used to commute from
Surrey. "The first couple of months, I would
be like, 'Yeah, I'll read my notes on the bus,
there's so much time.' But as soon as I read a
sentence, I would get droopy, so I'd just end
up sleeping on the bus."
To survive your daily commute: Don't be
smelly. Bring an iPod, but don't blast the music.
Bring notes in a compact form like index cards
for easy studying. Allow extra time for when
TransLink decides to be flaky, and then rant at
the TransLink Twitter account. Find a friend
to commute with. Or don't, and condition your
body to sleep the entire 40 minutes from Commercial Drive to UBC.
62. How to budget
Whether you save religiously
or often wonder whether to
spend your last $20 on booze
or food, money worries inevitably crop
up at university. Observe your spending
habits in September, and then calculate
your ideal monthly budget. Withdraw that
amount of cash at the start of each month;
a dwindling pile of bills is easier to track
than invisible debit transactions. And
ifyou can, maintain a small emergency
fund. Cabbing home from across town at
3 a.m. might be an unexpected but very
necessary expenditure.
LIFE AS YOU CHOOSE TO LIVE IN THE UBYSSEY 63. What to do when bad days turn into bad weeks
University is a stressful and overwhelming experience for everyone. But when bad days become
bad weeks, it's important to know help is
out there.
Accordingto UBC Counseling Services'
website, new mental health disorders typically begin between the ages of 18 and 24. As
such, disorders like depression and anxiety
are very common in university students.
If a student has identified a problem,
Patricia Mirwaldt, director of UBC's Health
Services, says initial assistance is available in
many forms.
"The AMS has Speakeasy, we have the
Wellness Peers, people will often talk to an
RA — all those people have extra training
in active listening and being be able to make
suggestions." Information on managing
mental health is also available on the Live
Well, Learn Well website (students.ubc.ca/
livewelllearnwell).
But for students who require further support, UBC's Counselling Services also offers
drop-in service.
"We see a student the same day they
come in. We would assess what going on
with a student, and potentially we would
have a follow up appointment, offer them
more counselling services, help them to find
resources inthe community or on campus,"
describes Renee Robert, a counsellor with
JOSH CURRAN/THE UBYSSEY
Counselling Services.
In addition to individual sessions, group
counselling is also offered. There are group
discussions about anxiety and mood management, as well as mindfulness and meditation.
Counselling services specifically for First
Nations and international students are available at the First Nations House of Learning
and International House, respectively.
Counsellors can help tackle a variety of
student concerns, from exam anxiety to supporting students with academic concessions.
Mirwaldt stresses that counselling isn't
just for students who think they've hit
rock bottom.
"There's quite a stigma," says Mirwaldt.
"When students come in seeking help,
they feel as though they've failed, that they
should've been able to handle it better, handle it on their own."
But Robert argues that overcomingthis
perception and seeking support is hugely important for students who want to get better.
"One ofthe difficulties for students is that
sometimes when they're feeling alone or
things are getting overwhelming for them,
it often feels difficult to take that step to get
help."
Counselling Services' office is open Monday through Friday, 9:30 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. in
Brock Hall, Room 1040. Consultations are
also available over the phone.
THE UBYSSEY
LIFE AS YOU CHOOSE TO LIVE IN 64. How not to destroy   II 65. Where to get the
your future career || items you need for sex
with social media
Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr and the
like make it incredibly convenient
(and addictive) to communicate
anything and everything about your life.
But they also make it really easy for
you to embarrass yourself in a way that's
kind of indelible. The stupid thing you say
at a party during first year will probably
be quickly forgotten, but if you post that
stupid thing to Twitter, it could come back
to hinder you when you start to go looking
for an internship or a job.
DO: Drinking.
Cowering away from anyone snapping an
Instagram just because you're holding a
beer won't help your future online reputation, it'll just ruin your night.
DON'T: Illegal drugs.
If you're stupid enough to go do E at a
dubstep show or whatever, don't commit
the extra stupid of documenting it on
the Internet.
DON'T: Racism, sexism, homophobia
and other discriminatory comments.
It doesn't matter if your friends will totally
understand that you're not racist and
you're totally tweeting the N-word as a
joke. The Internet won't understand this.
Your future boss Googlingyour name won't
understand this. Just don't do it.
DO: Network.
Sending a witty @reply to someone working in the field you're trying to get into is a
lot less intimidating than chatting them up
in person, and you might wind up striking
up a conversation.
Wellness Centre
A friendly, invaluable resource centre for
sexual health info and general wellness
advice on topics such as healthy eating,
sleeping and stress management. Plus,
the centre sells dirt-cheap condoms, lubes
and toys.
AMS/GSS Health and Dental Plan
The student health plan covers 80 per cent
ofthe cost of most contraceptives. You can
also get some brands of birth control pills
for free ifyou agree to pick them up every
month at the Shoppers on campus.
Nurses in Rez
Nurses set up stations in Totem Park, Place
Vanier and Walter Gage one night per week
throughout the academic year. You can
ask any burning health-related questions
and snag a handful of free condoms while
you're at it.
66. How to get around
campus
How can you get from one end of campus to the other during a 10-minute
between-class break? Know your
route. Print out a map (or keep this book, with
its handy-dandy map on page 53).
Getting some wheels can really help cut
travel time, especially. We've got a how-to-
buy-a-bike section on page 47. Longboards go
$80-$100 on Craigslist, or roller skates could
really help set you apart.
Ifyou have that particular mix of laziness
and cunning, you can even use transit. The
C38 shuttles between Wesbrook Mall and the
Marine Drive residence, and ifyou grab the 25,
33, or 41 buses at the right time you can travel
north-south on campus inthe blink of an eye.
LIFE AS YOU CHOOSE TO LIVE IN THE UBYSSEY 67. How to complain about Vancouver
First-year out-of-towners will quickly realize that complaining about Vancouver, much like complaining about any big city, is a finely honed art form.
'tt'sexi
pensive*
WHEN QUIZZED ON VANCOUVER'S WORST QUALITIES, OUR STUDENT
PANELISTS HAD MOST OF THE STOCK ANSWERS COVERED.
Ifyou want to gripe like a local, be sure to
also bring up Vancouver's arcane liquor
laws (Google the Rio Theatre debacle)
or our ridiculous real estate market (visit the
hilariously depressing "Are You F-ing Kidding
Me?" section ofthethirtiesgrind.com).
A hearty eye-roll about yuppie Kits yoga
moms or yuppie Yaletown purse-dogs —
or yuppies in general, really — is always
well-received.
And for that authentic touch: whenever
anyone mentions Surrey, shudder theatrically
and screw up your face like you're about to
puke. It's usually acceptable to add, "Ugh, Surrey." You don't need to know why. You don't
even have to go there. Just trust us.
68. The skinny on Vancouver neighbour!
With a city as big as Vancouver,
it can be difficult to figure out
which areas are worth visiting
and which ones are a waste of time or just
plain dodgy. Below are some do's and don'ts
to keep in mind.
DO:
• Explore Kitsilano. It's close to campus, and
it has several beaches and an endless array of
cool restaurants, shops and bars.
• Wander around downtown Vancouver. You
can do all the touristy things, but more often
than not, it's simply walking around and
stumbling upon hidden gems that people love
most about the city.
• Check out Richmond. Hit up a karaoke
room and shop at the famous Richmond
Night Market. Expect lots of good food!
• Try some great, cheap Indian food in Surrey, if you're up for the commute.
THE UBYSSEY UNSOLICITED LIFE ADVICE 69. How to be a good Vancouverite
The best thing about the Global Citizen
Village From Here U-Town where you
will spend most of your waking hours
is that you never have to leave. But when you
actually venture into downtown Vancouver, it
will become a terrifying place you don't understand. Here's howto get used to it:
1. Vancouverites don't talk to each other
They don't. "Much like UBC, you can't
really walk up to someone on the street and
talk to them," Ian Campbell said. "People
tend to keep to themselves. And it's nice that
people are laid back...but it can be kind of a
lonely place at times."
2. Nobody goes outside of his or
her neighbourhood
"For the longest time I lived in southeast
Vancouver and my perception ofthe city
was skewed," said Karm Sumal, a writer
for Vancouver culture blog VancityBuzz. "I
didn't know what was going on in and around
all the other wonderful neighbourhoods."
Sumal recommends printing out a map and
tryingto visit as many different neighbourhoods as you can.
3. Shopping is a social activity?
Fitting Vancouver's freakishly expensive
reputation, if you're not going somewhere
like Stanley Park or the Seawall to walk
around, most ofthe activities in Vancouver
revolve around shopping, restaurants, and
other establishments that exist to sell you
things. Our student panelists recommend
the vintage shops on Main Street and
in Kitsilano for a decent-pried
shopping excursion.
N
^WfiH&'teffi
loods
a
**&m
-<*
• Take a walk down Davie Street. It's the
lively home of Vancouver's gay community.
• Stroll through Main Street. Something
will definitely catch your eye (or make your
stomach growl).
• Check out Yaletown. It's super trendy,
filled with lounges, bars and lots of gorgeous
people. It's not touristy, but it's a great way to
experience a unique part of Vancouver.
DON'T:
• Bus home alone from anywhere late at
night. Vancouver is pretty safe, but no matter
where you are, it's always better to have a
buddy if it's late at night.
UNSOLICITED LIFE ADVICE
THE UBYSSEY Healthy and affordable
fresh food and juices.
Minutes away from
the UBC campus.
Students! Use your
UBC ID at our Kits
location and receive a
15% discount for lunch.
NUBA-KITSILANO [jjjj
3116 W.Broadway at Balaclava
(Take the Number 14 Bus)
Tel: 604.336.1797
MAP
Find & follow us online:
/NUBATOWN
©NUBAKITS   [WWW] NUBA.CA 70. Build your resume the smart way:
start small, but start now
Graduation might seem very far
away, but it'll catch up to you faster
than you expect. And in today's
job market, you want to have more than
just a transcript full of decent grades under
your belt when UBC spits you back into the
real world.
To work your way up to the kind of
real-world experience that'll put you ahead
of all the other schmoes in your graduating
class, you'll want to get started now.
If you're thinking about going on in
academia, you could try to get a paper
published in your field while you're still an
undergrad. Take your first step toward this
by asking to volunteer for a professor whose
research you like. Other useful steps would
be attending research lectures in your field
(there are tons on campus) and chatting
up grad students who study things you're
interested in.
Ifyou want to leave academia behind
and enter the workforce, try to get as much
career-focused experience as you can now.
Start looking into Work Study, internships
and co-op options now. Don't go to your
professors for help; they're the last people
who can help you find a job outside the
Ivory Tower. UBC Career Services has some
job listings, but get used to scouring the internet for entry-level or internship work you
can do part-time or during the summer.
Another option for filling up some resume real estate is student involvement. Volunteer for your faculty association, a club or
the AMS now, and before long you could run
for a position that has actual responsibility.
Also, if you're interested in journalism,
writing, photography or design, did we mention that we're a school newspaper that will
help you do all of those things? You'll wind
up with work you can show off, and if you're
good enough you can even work your way
up to getting paid.
71. Reading outside of class makes you
a more interesting person
Reading is an easy way to gauge your interest in an elective without committing
to a full term.
Applications for some majors or honours
programs require a list of readings
you've completed outside of class.
Instead of turning to some mind-numbing Facebook time, try picking up a book
"e.- p
when you want to relax.
Pulling out a particularly dense tome is
a great conversation-starter with other
pseudo-intellectuals (now your new
friends!).
And as Zizek says, why be happy when
you could be interesting?
UNSOLICITED LIFE ADVICE
THE UBYSSEY 72. If you lose
your faith, don't
be a jerk about it
University is usually the time
when one's general worldview
experiences its biggest shakeup.
And it's a hoary college-years cliche to
start your higher education with a belief in
something-or-other and lose it by the time
you're done.
As excited as you might be about this
new outlook of yours, keep in mind that
newly minted atheism is all too often a
one-way ticket to assholedom.
Ifyou want to have a debate about this
stuff, do it with someone you know pretty
well and make sure they're comfortable
arguing over these topics with you first.
Don't be that arrogant jerkwad drunkenly
yelling Richard Dawkins quotes in someone's face at a party. It doesn't make you
look smart. Trust us.
73. Be careful
with study drugs
"Study drugs" — medications like Adder-
all, Dexedrine or Ritalin taken without a
prescription — are not difficult to buy. But
you should be wary of them.
"It's very easy to start to take a little bit
too much of these drugs, and start to encounter all these difficulties," warns Dr. Anthony Phillips, a UBC psychiatry professor.
Potential side effects include changes
to mood, appetite, sex drive and sleep patterns. Phillips says restlessness and anxiety
can also occur.
"[If students] start to use them recrea-
tionally rather than for a studying context,
then that's a slippery slope to addiction,"
explains Phillips.
And aside from health concerns, possession of prescription drugs without authorization is illegal in Canada.
74. How to complain ab<
The euphoria you feel in the first few
weeks of university will eventually
fade. And when you finally hit that
nadir, you need to know how to express
your ennui like a pro. Here are the top
things to complain about at UBC:
• The wireless sucks. UBC's campus-wide
wireless often slows to a crawl, if indeed it
works at all.
• The rain will destroy your socks and
make it look like you just showered with
your clothes on.
• The ubiquitous construction will turn
a five-minute trek from point A to point B
into a terrifying maze that ends in one ofthe
following: a minotaur, you being late, or you
being late to a meeting with a minotaur.
• Transit is impossible. When you are late,
buses are always early, and when you are
early, buses are always late. Ifyou manage to
board a bus, you'll have to stand stock-still
while surrounded rows upon rows of people
crammed into every last crevice.
• Nothing fun ever happens. At one time,
there was no shortage of fun stuff to do
on campus. But then a bunch of old people
moved here and now we're left only with the
odd lackluster dubstep show on a Pit Wednesday. The liquor store is now far enough
from the middle of campus that you might
as well just go to Kits for your booze. And
once you do go to Kits, there's basically no
reason to come back to campus anyway.
THE UBYSSEY UNSOLICITED LIFE ADVICE 75. Attending matters of the soul
The Labrynth at the Vancouver School of Theology, on UBC campus.
JOSH4242/FUCKR
Want to practice your religion in
the company of other religiously minded people? There
are plenty of spiritual services available for
students at UBC. Here's a brief list of some:
Anglican services are held every Sunday
at 8:30 and 10:30 a.m. at St. Anslem's Chuch
(5210 University Boulevard).
Born For More, a Baptist AMS club,
meets Thursdays at noon in SUB Room 213.
Jewish campus group Hillel meets
every Tuesday at noon in Hillel House
(across from the SUB).
For Muslim students, daily prayers take
place at Room 2357 in Brock Hall Annex,
and Friday prayers are held at International
House. For prayer times, contact the UBC
Muslim Students' Association (msaubc.org).
Orthodox Christian Vespers are held
every Wednesday at 7 p.m. at the Holy
Cross Chaplaincy, in St. Mark's Chapel on
lona Drive.
Pentecostal services are held every
Sunday at 10 a.m. at Point Grey Community Church on 7th Ave. Visit pgcc.org for
more info.
University Christian Ministries, a
multi-denominational group, meets every
Thursday at 7 p.m. in Wood 6 lecture hall
inthe Woodward Instructional Resour
ces Centre. Visit ubc.ucmonline.ca for
more info.
Korean Presbyterian services occur on
Sunday at 1 p.m., Wednesday at 7 a.m. and
Friday at 7 p.m. at Light of Love Church at
St. Anslem's Church.
Roman Catholic Mass is held at St.
Mark's Chapel on lona Drive. Visit stmarks-
college.ca for times and more information.
Shin Buddhist services occur every
Sunday at 10:30 a.m. at both Steveston Buddhist Temple in Richmond and Vancouver
Buddhist Temple on Jackson St.
United Church services take place
Sundays at 10:30 a.m. at the University Hill
Congregation in the Chapel ofthe Epiphany,
on campus at Chancellor Boulevard.
For more information on spiritual organizations around UBC, start by searching
yellowpages.ca under "Churches and Other
Places of Worship" or "Religious Organizations" inthe Vancouver area. UBC also has
an interfaith chaplaincy service for students
who want to talk spirituality; more information is available at chaplains.students.
ubc.ca.
And there are a whole bunch of faith-
based AMS student clubs, too. A full clubs
listing is available at ams.ubc.ca/cam-
pus-life/clubs/.
UNSOLICITED LIFE ADVICE
THE UBYSSEY 76. The War on Fun
UBC is kind of a like a city, except it
isn't. Why should you care? Well,
there's no actual local government
here. That means that people who live at
UBC can't vote for anyone who has any
power in a civic election. UBC basically
gets unencumbered power over everything
that happens on campus, and they get to
decide what's built where.
Still, why should you care? Well, this
might not be the nicest thing for you to
hear, but this campus used to be a lot more
fun. There was a time when you would pass
four beer gardens on the walk back from
Buchanan to Totem on a Friday afternoon.
UBC exists in a weird limbo where the
university gets almost all the power, the
people who live on campus in non-student
housing get a little, and we students — you
know, ostensibly the reason why the university exists in the first place — basically
get none.
This means the university came this
close to putting market housing (i.e. housing that's full of non-students who enjoy
complaining about loud noises) next to the
only place on campus left for outdoor con
certs. The amount of hassle and paperwork
a student club has to go through to hold a
beer garden on campus should practically
entitle them to an extra course credit.
A recent UBC student survey showed
that the more years someone has spent
at UBC, the more they think that campus
development isn't done with students
in mind.
Some people call the steady year-to-year
decline of fun shit to do on campus (and
simultaneous rise in things like seniors'
homes) the "War on Fun," and it's a phrase
that's pretty apt.
What can you, a wide-eyed first-year
student, do about any of this? The problem
is that students come and go all the time,
while UBC's top brass and million-dollar
condo residents tend to stick around. But
get involved with student groups and pay
attention to campus news (shameless plug:
read The Ubyssey!) — and if the university
tries to push a policy or development that's
not good for students, push back. Or try
to organize a fun event on campus, so a
handful more people have a reason to stay
here past 6 p.m.
77. Being jaded is boring
The first few weeks of university
can be a bummer if you're not into
the first-year ra-ra spirit. People at
rez are making the same high school penis
jokes. Professors want you to conform to a
certain ideology. You're homesick and tired
of greasy burgers and you think to yourself,
as emo as it seems, is university really
worth it?
Before you don the "been there done
that" attitude, take a step back. You're in
university! You can take interesting courses
like wine science (FNH 330)! You can meet
people from around the world! As tired
as you are ofthe education system or of
humanity in general, you never know what
you'll find. Keep an open mind.
Even who you were in high school does
not dictate who you will be in university.
Marjan Hatai was a yearbook editor in high
school, but saw the variety of new and different opportunities to get involved.
"I think that's what happens when you go
to college. You change a lot as a person."
THE UBYSSEY UNSOLICITED LIFE ADVICE THIS IS A MAP OF UBC. WE THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE USEFUL.
THE UBYSSEY THE OLD SUB
i^^
since 1968!
In April 2008, UBC students approved the construction of a new
Student Union Building (SUB). Since then, the AMS has been
working around the clock to turn that vision into reality through
a participatory, student-driven process.
But great things take time to build, so while our new home is
being built, we're going to keep bringing you the quality AMS
restaurants, shops and services you've come to expect,
all still housed in the Old SUB!
ams
Enhancing Student Life

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