Array THE UfflSSEY VOLUME 75, Number 33 Vancouver, B.C. Friday, February 5,1993 Info Act should cover UBC says MLA Include universities in Freedom of Information Act: report by Mark Nielsen Freedom of information and privacy legislation should be extended to cover universities, a provincial governmentreport released Monday says. The report says the province should amend existing freedom of information legislation to include the broad public sector. Existing legislation already allows citizens to get information from the provincial government. Both newly-elected Board of Governors representative Orvin Lau and current BoG rep and AMS researcher Derek Miller said they hope such legislation would force the Board to open its doors to scrutiny. One point of contention has been BoG's tendancy to move items to the closed afternoon session. Miller said legislation would make BoG be clearer in its criteria for deciding what will be on the open and closed agendas. They'd have to quit bandying about." "Some of the most trivial things end up in the afternoon [closed] session," Lau said. "Alot of times they'll just move it into the afternoon session because they just don't have time in the morning session. They just don't care." But one of the report's authors, New Democrat MLA Barry Jones, said more information is needed before making specific recommendations regarding closed meetings, he told The Ubyssey. Jones said legislation would have to protect some of the university's operations. "We were led to the conclusion that there should be guidelines to ensure protection of such things as personnel and land acquisition." BoG chair Ken Bagshaw could not be reached for comment. If legislation is passed, Jones said it would guarantee access to financial information and students' personal files. For example, legislation would allow students rejected for scholarships or bursaries to find out details ofthe decision. He added that legislation would also affect the University Hospital, where patients currently have no access to personal health files. Freedom of information legislation of varying effectiveness covers universities in Saskatchewan and Quebec. Similar legislation also exists in Ontario but does not cover universities. Jones hoped to see a bill introduced by late April, coming into effect by October 1994. The two year wait would allow insti tutions enough time to prepare for the new measures. Legislation passed last year requires provincial government bodies to meet new standards for access by October of this year. Monday's report recommends going a step further by including muncipalities, school boards, hospital boards, police boards, universities, colleges and self-governing professional bodies. Academic freedom ends in class You will probably still have to go to class even if the province's Freedom of Information Act is extended to cover universities. In his report on the coverage of the FOI Act, New Democrat MLA Barry Jones has made it explicit that lecture notes, along with faculty research notes, would remain in the private domain. "I am persuaded that faculty research and lecture notes do warrant special treatment," Jones states in the report. "While information about the nature of the research and related public funding should be in the public domain, the goal of public accountability is not furthered by providing access to research data and lecture notes. ••Moreover, it is not the intent of information and privacy legislation to enable an individual to obtain access to another's research and thereby deprive him or her of priority of publication." Confederation of University Faculty Association of BC president Gordon Shrimpton applauded the recommendations during a panel discussion held Tuesday but also said professors may be exposed to libel action if letters of recommendation were made accessible. In turn, this could lead to self-censorship. "Would we only say really, really nice things about them, and then hope that we get a phone call so we can say what we really think?" he said. As well, Shrimpton said appeals of denial of promotion for faculty often require that the appellant have access to reference letters. But if his or her field is small, how can the identity of the referee be protected? New student BoG members stress openness by Rick Hiebert Two recently-elected student members of UBC's Board of Governors want the BoG to be more accessible to students and the public. Orvin Lau and Michael Hughes both hope that as BoG members, they can encourage UBC's ultimate governing body to pay more attention to stu dents' opinions. Lau and Hughes were elected to the BoG in last week's AMS elections. They defeated five other candidates and take office immediately. Hughes, a graduate student in engineering physics, attributes his win to the high profile he assumed as the chair of the AMS' The winners and the losers Board of Governors (Top two finishers win) Acclaimed candidates Orvin Lau 942 Michael Hughes 863 Jeff West 781 Ian Flint 468 Mike Wagner 385 Dean Olund 381 Bill Johnson 346 Senate At Large (Top five candidates win) Elise Brady 1.280 Paul Marsden 1,100 Regan McNeal 1.067 Emile C.H. Woo 532 Jerry Olynyk 489 Samson S.T. Hui 410 Christopher Sing 368 Talman Rodocker 301 •Agricultural Science Azim A. Raghavji •Applied Science— Christa Greentree •Arts—Marc Gerard Schaper •Commerce and Business Administration— Michael Fuoss •Education—Fergus Horsburgh •Graduate Studies—Brian Goehring •Law—Gord Kettyle •Medicine—William Dick •Pharmaceutical Sciences—Amin Janmohammed •Science—Chris Woods No Senate candidates ran in the Forestry and Dentistry faculties. anti-tuition hike campaign. "I'd like to make the BoG more open to student input and not just the two studentreps,"Hughes said. "Fd like to see the entire process made more democratic, with more consultation. Students shouldn't be surprised by BoG decisions such as proposing a raise in tuition of 18 per cent." Hughes will also push for more affordable student housing on campus, especially for families. He says the pro- posed Thunderbird Housing complex, to go where B-Lot currently sits, is a good start. "There are some problems with the concept of "cost-recovery" from campus services," he said. "Services like the UBC bookstore and student computer services have to pay for their own operations, and as a result, their services are priced out of students' reach." Orvin Lau, a fourth year computer science student, is a former member ofthe UBC Senate. "Ill take a pro-active stance on the BoG. The BoG has always been a reactive body, responding to what the administration wants," he said. "In general, it has the power to tell the administration should be definitely addressed." Lau and Hughes both want student input and suggestions. "If there Eire any problems that students have, they should talk to Michael Hughes and Orvin Lau what to do, but it doesnt do it that often." He hope s to promote academic issues on the BoG. The board has the ultimate responsibility to set tenure and promotion practices, two central issues for Lau. "The environment at the university is not conducive to teaching at all. Classrooms and lab facilities are really outdated and this us," Lau said. "Ifs already difficult enough to make an impact on the BoG being only two students. Any support we can get will be helpful." UBC students also elected Elise Brady, Emile Woo, Paul Marsden, Regan McNeal an d Jerry Olynyk as stodent members at large for the UBC Senate, the university's academic governing body. They assume office April 1. ,S**-. r£B.cspiciAf 1 THI BIG COIN I WASH I Hav«your*mtwash Z on Alejandro and Deborah -« | 60 machines, free coffee, £ fun and good conversation s Monday-Friday 8:30-8:30 | Saturday-Sunday 9-8 S GOLD W. Canada's largest ICOIN LAUNDROMAT 3496 West Broadway 2 Wk E of Alma South side • rear parking <REEIC i-fAVEfcNAf Superb Food & fl| Friendly Staff Recommended by James Barber's "Best Eating" Take out Wedding parties Anniversaries Birthdays Try Our Daily Specials Sun-Thurs 1 lam-midnight Fri. &Sat. 1 lam-lam 2272 West 4th Ave. 736-2118/736-9442 This week at LJ D V_y MUSIC Wednesday Wednesday Noon Hour Alex Klein, oboe Lisa Bergman, piano 12:30 pm Recital Hall $2 Friday UBC ArtsFest StringFest 12:30 pm Recital Hall UBC ArtsFest Jazz Ensemble with guest Phil Nimmons, clarinet 8:00 pm Recital Hall $5/3 Saturday UBC ArtsFest Chinese Music Ensemble 2:00 pm Recital Hall ArtsFest Phoenix Choir 8:00 pm Recital Hall $5/3 Sunday UBC ArtsFest Finale UBC at The Orpheum UBC Symphony Orchestra Vane. Youth Symph. Orch. David Agler, guest conductor Leslie Wyber, piano soloist 7:30 pm The Orpheum$10/4* Next Wednesday Wednesday Noon Hour Marc Destrube & John Sawyer, baroque violines Nan Mackie, viola da gamba Doreen Oke, harpsichord Ray Nurse, theorbo 12:30 pm Recital Hall $2 *Ticketmaster 280-4411 For information call 822-5574 Classifieds 822-3977 RATES; AMS cardholders - 3 Unes $3.15, additional lines 63 cents. Commercial - 3 lines $5.25, additional lines 80 cents. (10% discount on 25 Issues or more.) Classified ads payable in advance. Deadline 3:30 pm, 2 days before publication. Room 266, SUB. UBC, Vancouver, B.C. V6T2A7. 822-3977. 5 - COMING EVENTS THE VANCOUVER INSTITUTE Free Public Lecture Saturday, Feb. 6 Professor Carolyn Merchant Department of Conservation and Resource Studies University of California (Berkeley) on REINVENTING NATURE Lecture Hall 2, Woodward IRC at 8:15 p.m. 11 - FOR SALE (Private) MOVING SALE sectnl. sofa, dinette set, hide-a-bed mattresses, tools, fridge and stove. Garage sale Feb. 6 & 7.1 pm, 299-7806. 20 ■ HOUSING ~" RESIDENCE ROOMS are available for women and men in the UBC single student residences. Please contact the Student Housing Office at 2071 West Mall, Tel 822-2811. 30 - JOBS PT RECP. NEEDED for busy optical store. Exp. an asset but not req. 8-10 hrs. per wk. Pis apply in person with resume to Rod at Visions West Opti- cal 3959 W. Broadway. CAN YOU QUALIFY FOR THIS IMPOSSIBLE JOB? Work 12 hours a day at start, study continuously, be a self-starter, keep up, cope through rigorous development period. If you're success-oriented; rewards and professional independence are worth it. Send resume to: P.O. Box plOO c/o The Ubyssey CAMP COOK June 1 - Aug 30 at Camp Narnia on Salt Spring Is. Live in, R&B provided, salary negotiable. Commercial cooking/ kitchen exp. essential. Apply 653-4364. PART TIME HELP wanted in bed & breakfast. Exp. in hospitality industry helpful. 3 pos. avail. Could be f/t end April. 879-5682. MAKE $780 per week Experience for all majors. Travel. I'm looking for 8 hard working students to work in my business this summer. Call 325-8859. ACCOUNTING/COMMERCE whiz needed to help struggling sole proprietor balance his books, 650-7293 Leave msg. 40 - MESSAGES LOVE FOR SALE The Ubyssey is now accepts**; Vauj*/t*ne messages fo* the Special Feb. 12th Valentme Issue Deadlnes r Feb. 10th. Avon the kush ... Book your love now! 70 - SERVICES GAYS, LESBIANS & Bisexuals of UBC information**office (SUB 237B). 822-4638. 80 ■ TUTORING TEACHER OF ENG. of second lang. will help students in reading, writing and speaking, call 739-0193 or Harbourside College, 688-4242. 85 - TYPING PROFESSIONAL typist, 30 years exp., wd process/typing, APA/MLA, thesis. Student rates. Dorothy, 228-8346. — ON CAMPUS — Miracles Performed Upon Request AMS WORD PROCESS-ZING Room 60, SUB Mon-Thurs 9-6 — Fri 9-5 Drop in or call: 822-5640 NORTH VAN. LOCATION - fast, proficient, experienced, fax, modem, laser printer, competitive rates. 987- 2816. TYPESETTING and laser printing - resumes - essays - word processing call 266-5324. WORD PROCESSING Papers, theses, etc. Please call 732-9001 Friday, Ftfrugy 5 UBC Student Counselling & Resources Centre Workshop - Asserttveness Strategies for Self Empowerment 12:38-1:20 Brock Rm. 200. UBCSchool of Music UBCContemporary Players, 12:30 pm, Recital Hall WUSC Panel discussion oa "Students and Social Responsibility." Speaker from El Salvador. Noon, Intl House Audit. GLOBAL Devel. Ctr, Women's Ctr; Stud. Envtor. Or; Gays, Lesbians & Bisexuals of LBC Beer Garden featuring Shine. 4-8pm. SUB 247/209. Childcare available In SUB 138. Campus Calendar wwm warn Come and Experience the thrill of seeing the magnificent Gray Whales from aboard our 24' ft. Rigid Hull Inflatable Zodiac. On our Tours you may also see Seals, Sea lions, Eagles and other spectacular Marine Wildlife. (95% sightings) We are offering reduced Rates for Students. Accommodation available. Whale Watching March — October FOR RESERVATIONS PHONE OR WRITE TO: TOFINO SCENIC TOURS c/o PACIFIC BREEZE MOTEL, P.O. Box 294, Tofino, B.C., V0R 2Z0 725-3269 Environment Ctr. Bzzr garden/ retro party. 4-8 pm, SUB 207-209. Jazz,Foik.Bluesaub&GSSProerams. Thca'sfive showcase/jam: FoH* 5:00, Jazz 7:30, Blues 9:00, Rock 10*30-12+. No cover. Thca's, grad centre. Saturday. February i UBC Triathlon/Duathlou Club. Duathlos Race: Run-bike-rua (3km • 6km - 3km). Members and non-members invited. 9:00 am, (registration 8 JO ami. Southland Elementary School, Camosun & Law Union. AH-dayconfcrence,wlthkeynot£sfrom Betty Baxter.NDPFederal Candidate, OareCulh**** author, prisoner's rights activist. 10am-5pm, Curtis Building, Law. FUL Hawaii 5-0 party. 8:00, doors close at 10pm, tickets in advance only. FIJI HA US.5785 Agronomy Road. Sunday. February 7 Museum of Anthropology. Stories & traditions: Tony Montague nan-ales the stories from popular English ballads, lpm, Museum, Great Hal Lutheran StudentMovement Worship and Fellow- ship. 7:00pm, Lutheran Student Centre. Monday. February 8 UBC Student Counselling & Resources Ctr. Workshop: Stressed out? Breaking old habits. Noon - 1:20, Brock Km 200. Gays, Lesbians & Bisexuals of UBC Discussion Group. 5pm, Campus Lutheran Charch Lounge. Gays,Lesbians&BbexualsofUBC Guest speaker Mary Brooks & BryceWiaterof theGay & Lesbian Centre. Noon, SUB 21L UBC Library. Hands on tutorial on searching UBCLIB, the Library's online catalogue, including new features PRLMT, find RELATED books, LIMIT by date, and more. Noou-l:20,ArlsTerminaiRoo-a, Sedgewick Library, Lower Level Tuesday. February 9 UBCStudentCoonseBtaj; & Resources Ctr. Workshop: Motivation: Overcoming obstacles to your academic goals. Nooa • 1:20, Brock Rm 2M. LBCSt-jdeat Counselling & Resources Clr. Work- ■(hop: Self esteem building for women: Make the most of who you are. Noon • 1:20, Brock Rm 200. Gays, Lesbians* Bisexuals of UBC Guest speakers Dr. Malcolm Crane of the pride community foundation. Noon, SUB 21L Gays, Lesbians 4 Bisexuals of UBC Film Nile. 7pm, SUB Theatre. Wednesday. February 10 Women and Development, spring lecture series. Riva Joshee: "Uaderstanduig thaia Crow b not a Swan: Commun. Strategies m Doing Research with South Asian Cdn. Women." 12:30-1-30 pm, Geog. 229. UBC Student Counselflng & Resources Ctr. Film: How to get the job you want. Noon -1:20, Brock Rm 208. Gays, Lesbians, Bisexuals of UBC Meeting. Nooa, Thursday. February 11 Chrbtian Sdence Organization. Testimony meeting. Everyone is welcome. 12*30 pm Buch B234. UBCStudeBt Counselling & Resources Ctr. Workshop: Beating the student blues. Nooa-1:20, Brock RbM Don't let this happen to your Library privileges! xx-xxxxxxxx S3s?§22r LIBRARY CARD University of British Columbia Please — Pay your library fines by Feb. 12th *Library privileges will be SUSPENDED for unpaid bills Not sure if you have fines? Please call 822-3208 Weekdays 9am-5pm 2/THE UBYSSEY February 5,1993 /&••' ' Xi,M'/&/J'AM;M,vXXk'y>'/ '''WXkrff&ddt'fc'A'XX'/ $ ! , ;N*-WxS •*/••■ ■&< ifc*?'* •'■* '■*' $/*£ 4 to/i ¥/" s ■? Oppression in Guatemala becoming more sophisticated by Simon Jones While the persecution of Guatemalan indiginous peoples continues, growing awareness of the situation has spurred a campaign against that country's military authorities. Speaking Monday at UBC, Baltaza Vi Escobar of the Committee for Campesino Unity (CCU) explained that the problems of Guatemala's indigenous peoples "have their roots in the unequal distribution of land in Guatemala." Indigenous people represent 60 per cent of Guatemala's total population but, as Escobar noted, there are only three indigenous representatives in the Congress. The government is dominated by ladinos, those of mixed indigenous-Spanish blood who are said to have rejected their native heritage. The indigenous people turn to organizations such as the Committee, which Escobar said "work against the repression ofthe government.* Anti-government protests have been met with vicious repressive measures. Most indigenous Guatemalan, peasants have been dispossessed and pushed to the infertile soils of the high sierra. Many others have been forced off of the land altogether, and either work as cheap agricultural labourers or try to scrape together a living in the cities. Escobar provided a graphic account ofthe more than 30 years during which the army acted in an often ruthless and bloody fashion "to destroy towns, animals and crops* as part of a campaign to force indigenous peasants from their land. Escobar estimated that army violence has left 45,000 widows, 40,000 refugees and 100,000 orphans in Guatemala. A further 1.5 million people have been forced to serve in Civil Defence Patrols—paramilitary groups organized to help "pacify" the countryside. "The nature ofthe repression has also changed in recent years," Escobar reported. "In the 1980s the government displaced the rural population, committed mass murders and adopted a scorched earth policy. Recently, the media has been watching more closely, so there has been a change in techniques. Instead there are more kidnappings. There are disappearances going on daily." The plight of Guatemala's indigenous people has received international attention in recent months since Rigoberta Menchu Turn, the leader of the CCU received the Nobel Peace Prize. The international work of Menchu Turn has helped more people to "understand the situation in Guatemala, and emphasize the issue of human rights at the United Nations," Escobar said. "Pressure is being brought onto the Guatemalan government, particularly on the issue of human rights." Escobar went on to say that the significance of Menchu Turn's UBC students' necrophilic tendancies have strong showing at polling stations by Rick Hiebert What do John F. Kennedy, Dr. Suess, Salvador Dali, Groucho Marx and Marilyn Monroe have in common? They all ran in the UBC Alma Mater Society student government executive elections this year. Rather, their names appeared on the ballot, due to an odd loophole allowing the Famous Dead People slate to contest the elections. Kennedy ran for AMS President, Seussfor vice-president, Dali for director of finance, Marx for director of administration and Monroe for coordinator of external affairs. The slate did well, getting at least 160 votes for each of the five positions at stake. Two real people running were outpolled by the deceased celebrities. "John F. Kennedy" got 252 votes, outpolling Kevin Dettlebach, a real person, with 180. "Dr. Seuss" got 260 votes, more than the non-dead Shalan Parks with 172. The joke slate was the product of the fevered minds of the UBC Science Fiction Society. "Last year we noticed on the nomination form the line saying *Name to be used on ballot.' We saw that other joke slates were using fake names like <Yo' and Tish', and the names didnt have to be necessarily similar. Thus, we thought that we'd bring in some great candidates," said Society vice-president David New. New and his friends applied to run in the election, but chose the fake names to run under. They managed to do some of the traditional UBC campaign activities easily. For the traditional candidate interview in The Ubyssey, the club members replied to questions with quotes from the famous celebrities. At all-candidates meetings, the society members asked for a moment of silence for each of the Famous Dead People. "We consideredrunning Elvis Presley, but of course he isn't dead," sai d Society member Dean McGee. The campaign cost all of $40, notincludingthe poster's artwork, which pictures all the slate members playing croquet. McGee added that perhaps UBC students voted for the Famous Dead People as a protest vote. PEOPLE for AMS Executive John F. Kennedy Dr. Seuss Salvador Dali Groucho Marx Marilyn Monroe for for for for for President Vice-President Director of Director of Co-Ordinator of Finance Administration External Affairs ^ A3S^ Ota* Goo^ ?oUn rfrO^ \SK ^ ?00 tfVO^ "We got a lot of votes from people who voted for three or four real people, but couldn't decide on one ofthe others and just decided to vote for one ofthe Famous Dead People," McGee said. AMS President-elect Bill Dobie liked the joke, but seriously hopes that the strength of AMS efforts were not limited to Guatemala but could be used to "fight on an international level the problems of all indigenous people ... to have our rights respected." Responding to questions from people who attended the meeting, organized by the Global Development Centre and the Central American Society for YouthandPeace(ASCAP), Escobar also added a Guatemalan voice to the current debate on the North American Free Trade Agreement. He suggested that it would be used to "take resources out to North America and Europe ... offering only to drown the [Guatemalan] people in hunger." joke slates doesn't mean that UBC students are really upset or apathetic with the AMS. "I do accept the spirit of this," he sai d. "But Fd suggest that people come down to the AMS office and take their cynicism out on me instead of voting for joke candidates out of frustration." Get your Bisexual, Gay and Lesbian students' guide now!! by Lucho van Isschot A resource guide for lesbian, gay and bisexual students is now available at UBC residences. The Oay Blade, as named by its creator James Currie, has been distributed to all residence common blocks. It is published by Student Housing. Currie decided to produce the guide because, after two years as an advisor at Totem Park, he sensed a serious need to reach out to lesbian, gay and bisexual students, "I guess my main thought was, when you're a first year student, you get all this information... coupons for the bookstore, coupons for the Thunderbird Shop. "You have safe sex information, but you don't get anything that addresses gay and lesbian students, or even students who are just wondering about their sexuality." Janice Robinson, Residence Life Coordinator at Fairview Crescent, hopes that the guide will also help to address the homophobia that can make UBC residences unsafe for lesbian, gay and bisexual students. "We became concerned over the past couple of years for a couple of reasons," she said. "For example, we had residence advisors who felt that they had to quit because they were gay and felt uncomfortable in a high profile position. We were losing good people because of that. "Secondly, in talking to gay students on campus X know that when a student wants to come out, the first thing they are usually told to do is move out of residence. That is obviously not a very friendly environment to live in." The guide is not intended to be just for gay, lesbian and bisexual students Currie said. "I just want people in residence, in general, to feel more comfortable with their own sexuality and with the sexuality of other people." Currie has also run workshops to educate other residence advisors about the issues which may be of concern to lesbian, gay and bisexual students living in residence. The four-page guide introduces students to the resources that are available to Vancouver's gay and lesbian community. It also lists a number of the city's gay-friendly bookstores, restaurants and clubs and includes some general information about lesbian, gay and bisexual issues. On the whole, the response to The Gay Blade has been positive — enough so that Housing hasrecieved requests for a second edition according to Robinson. But they have had some negative feedback as well said Robinson, "mostly questions about why we did this." Starting next year, The Gay Blade will be part of the "Welcome to Residence" packages students are given when they check into their rooms. February 5,1993 THE UBYSSEY/3 All you have to do to win a lovely diamond ring is be at... co CO CO 3 O CO 03 CO O S3 PQ by Nicholas Delany This one-hour, two-person play adapted from the work of Charles Bukowski was a tour de force for Michael Wener who played the male role tonight, standing in for the actor originally cast. Wener is also the play's director and we suspect the impresario too. THEATRE Erections, Ejaculations, Exhibitions Vancouver East Cultural Centre January 16 The Bukowski atmosphere was replete; an earthy view of women and a down-and-out seedy Los Angeles tone let us know that Bukowski was in the details. I had to groan at some ofthe clinical sexual descriptions however. Equally, portions ofthe performance were painful to watch because of graphic obscenity. The anatomical emphasis given by both dialogue and monologue, and by actions, might have revolted some. However, the gritty, true-ringing portrayal ofthe Angeleno lumpen underclass compensated for the nastiness. Even if one did cringe from time to time, on balance the hour was an enjoyable one. Somehow Werner's orations put one in mind of Steve Martin; perhaps both men are rather skilled at lampooning Southern Csdifor- nian white trash. If spring break suddenly leaves you broke, let Western Union come to your aid. We can transfer money from Canada to the U.S. in a matter of minutes. And with 22,000 locations worldwide, there's no faster or more convenient way to send and receive money. So if your spring break leaves you spring broke, let Western Union help you have some Rinds in the sun. In the U.S. cat! aL-800-325-6000 In Canada call The fastest way to send money. :V»KSb3K*v M. Butterfly flutters ponderously by "Why in the Chinese Opera are women always portrayed by men? Because only a man would know how a woman is supposed to act.*'—Song Liling by Otto Lim and Yukie Kurahashi Provocative? But this is only the tip of the chrysalis; David Hwang's M. Butterfly attempts to explore the issues of race, culture, gender, gender identification, exoticization, post-colonialism... Sounds like a lot, doesn't it? But wait: he even throws in a surprise double-twister ending! THEATRE M. Butterfly by David Henry Hwang directed by Bill Millerd Arts Club Theatre until February 20 A tormented encounter between French diplomat Rene Gallimard (Allan Gray) stationed in China and Chinese Opera actor Song Liling (M. Lasheras Andaluz) is reconstructed in this adaptation of Puccini's original. Through a series of flashbacks Gallimard recounts his nerdy life up to his affair with Song, on whom he projects his impossible "feminine" fantasy of Puccini's Butterfly. Song—breathtakingly portrayed by the ever-brilliant Andaluz—seems willingly to take on the role of Gallimard's stereotypical "lotus flower," and plays the part almost to the point of camp. But ah—she is revealed to be much more wily and self-possessed than Gallimard could ever hope to handle. But then again— Although the images are haunting, the issues of cultural misappropriation and racial mythology convo lute and confuse the visual intercourse. For example, why does she, supposedly a Japan-hating Chinese nationalist, appear drunk in a kimono, silently clipping flowers in a bizarre travesty ofthe highly stylized form of Japanese flower arrangement? Hwang's analogy ofthe dominating phallic west's perception of the east as the delicate, submissive, mysterious female is also ultimately undermined by thte subthemes of gender (mis)identification and homophobia. i At the end of the play, Hwang's conclusive erasure and denial of everything female—every powerful assertion, every generous compassion, every courageous word— amounts only to conventional misogyny. Although this is perhaps the most important play to see this season, that this misogyny is such a crucial part of this production is maddening; surely this playwright is capable of more vision than this. In -wrestling -with the entire hierarchy of oppressions Hwang seems to recognize that only in the demolition of all persecutions is the struggle for racial or post-colonial freedom effective. For M. Butterfly though, he seems to have taken on too much. Attention Cold Sufferers! Volunteers wanted for Cold Study • must have symptoms within last 48 hours (runny nose, watery eyes, sneezing, stuffy nose, sore eyes) ■ restricted medication in past 24 hours ■ 5 day study - 2 extra visits - physical exam - blood tests • $50 compensation for expenses NEW Apple Products! On February 10th, come into UBC Computer Shop and learn all the details about Apple's newest additions to their family! Apple® and UBC Bookstore gives you the power to be your best.™ && UBC Computer Shop *Xi Adi* of- Tel 822-4748 Fax 822-8211 E-Mail: computer@booksiore.ubc.ca Kourss Mon, Tues, Thurs, Fri 8:30 a.m-5:00 pm r? Wed 8:30 am-8:30 pm Sat 9:30 am - 5:00 pm 6200 University Boulevard Apple and tbe Apple logo are registered trademark- ofApple Contputer, Inc. "Thepower to be your ba MSBOOKSTORE Adc the nunc or doctor for information Student Health Service 822-73H "SPELLBINDING... (Writer/Director) Nick Gomez makes an impressive debut." ^-Vincent Canby, NEW YORK TIMES A KNOCKOUT DEBUT... It's his macho, even ballsy, challenge to Scorsese that gives his film its rush... 'LAWS OF GRAVITY' bristles with talent." -Manohla Dargis, VILLAGE VOICE liSto GRAVITY SOONER OR LATER, EVERYTHING GOES DOWN ^ subject TO © ISLAND PICTURES-..* A URRY MEISTRICH PRODUCTION . ..NICK GOMEZ LAKOFGRWITV CgSf" CLASSIFICATION AQAM TRESE PETER GREENE ECtfFALCO ARABELLA FIELO PAUL SCHULZE SAUL STEIN "* "" -^.r. PROFILE RECORDS INC POOR RIGHTEOUS TEACHERS RUN CMC 2ND 1 NONE NEMESIS DERRICK IRE NARDO RANKSJUMOfi DEMUS -KKJEANDeSEGOiW "SB MONICA 8RETHEK10N ..-. TOM McARDLE """'- BOB GOSSE S LAHW MElSIWCH JEW NICK GOMEZ rkd V piouhes okikbuton TH OPENS FRIDAY, FEB. 5 AT THE ROYAL CENTRE CINEMAS! M-lilfMI.il Authorized Campus Dealer ' is a. trademark of Apple Computer, Inc. 2 F0R1 MOVIE OFFER Present this two-for-one coupon at the box-office of any Cineplex Odeon Cinema in Canada presenting "Laws of Gravity". Purchase one adult admission and receive the second FREE. No mechanical reproductions will be accepted. Coupon not valid with any other offer and has no cash surrender value. This offer valid daily except Tuesdays and expires March 31,1993. 4/THE UBYSSEY February 8,1993 February 5-. if &3 The position of AMS Ombudsperson is available. Responsibilities are to: investigate and resolve complaints from students; recruit, supervise and coordinate caseworkers; sit on various AMS and UBC committees; and be available for a minimum of 20 hours per week. Qualifications include: ability to act as an independent, neutral and objective officer; ability to deal effectively with students, faculty and administrators; knowledge of the structures and services of the AMS and UBC; and ability to work closely with experienced staff. Please attach your resume to the application available from Terri Folsom, Administrative Assistant in SUB 238 by Wednesday, February 10, 1993. Please direct queries to Carole Forsythe, Vice President, in SUB 248 at 822-3092. FHE UBYSSEY/ 5 ' * ■5-*' /- , ■^'^Afe *-*.• i'd'. ■ t f f ft f/ e $?'*'//* '','/., ' EDIT O R I A L ■•s-fi*™-***..*' f wsA'S't, ■ ps,{, ;s''""y ,'*»4.'-*"• ■*''■•■?•*■*•'■■" //'^""iv, 'a'/'/. Electric limos for the people After approving as much as a ten per cent tuition fee hike, you'd think the government would give us a meagre incentive to get to our classeB. On top of $1000 tuition increases, a buck fifty (at least) for the buB is a slap in the face. There shouldn't be a user-fee on public transit in the first place. Since we have no choice but to work for wages, why should commuters be penalized for going to work or to -school where we "earn" the credentials for working? The transit fee is yet another economic barrier to participating in this society. The rate hike is especially harmful to students, many of whom are impoverished. We shouldn't have to choose between getting to school and eating lunch. Don't despair, all is not lost. Let them raise "public" transit rates till Strangway himself can't afford to be chauffeured to school in "electric lim ousines,''Mean while, there are ways ofbeating tbe system. Cheatingpublictransit isahighly cultivated art in somecoun tries. In Paris, itis notuncommon to see even bourgeois women—microscopic dogs in Louis Vudtton purses included—hopping turnstiles. Fortunately, our metro system is a little simpler to scam. As you approach a Sky Train car, Scan the interior for a metro cop—they're the ones wearing vintage Expo 86 surplus jackets. If you spot one of these characters on a car, choose another. They can be volatile if they check tickets on the train. A good idea is to buy a booklet of one month'B tickets. Keep them with you, but do not validate them when you hoard the train. Should you get caught by the hlue meanies, simply Bhow the unvalidated ticket. Look astonished when s/he points out that it is not validated. Could be an honest mistake, right? If you are forced to use the bus, you can underpay eternally, if you know how. It has been scientifically proven that $0.65 in nickels makes the weight-sensitilve bottom drop-out before the bus driver can count the change. Payingin pennies also confounds things for the system. Tbe driver cant take 'em ali out to count, and 100 pennies looks a hell Df a lot like a 150. You'll save 30 per cent on transit costs this way! Getting in through the back door is a bit tricky, but not impossible. It's best to try this when a crowd is disembarking. Scrunch down, squirm yourself through the doors and scurry to a seat. You'll have to learn which seats are visible in the driver's mirrors and avoid them, of course. Act natural, and nobody will rat on you. Not many people know it, but the law is on the side of those who can't afford "public" transit. Believe it or not, transit official cannot legally refuse a ride to you; they are actually supposed to write out a IOU form. (This must be a throwback to those wacky 60s, when people talked about equality). Getting around on public transit is becoming an unaffordable privilege. At least on the books, it's a right. Use it vmik <vt**t> €utd a, lea? , > theUbyssey The Ubyssey is a founding member of Canadian University Preaa-*, at the time we must have thought it waa a good idea or something. February 5,1993. The Ubyssey It published Tuesdays and Fridays by the Alma Mater Society of the University of British Columbia. Editorial opinions are those of the stair and not necessarily those of the university administration, or of the sponsor. The editorial office is room 241K of the Student Union Bul'dln-**. Editorial Deoartment. Dhone 822-2301; advertising. 822-3977; FAX 822-9279. It was one of those life times when Stan Paul just didnt feel like dealing with the letter Z, or the numbers 9 or 6 for that matter. Francis Foran on the other hand had many things to point out, with her new found pointy point Jan Foraerj-Jst knew he smelt a rat, perhaps the world famous leader of marketing sales, mickey mouse. Mark Neflsen had very little to say about life after death, he had enough to do, finding a comb and all. Meanwhile, Miranda Alldritt had visions of angels, the naked kind But Yukie Kurahashi just knew angels (the biblical sense, why not.) Lucho van Isschot once had a very good dream...but that's another story. Peter Clibbon, no he waant in Lucho's dream, but then wouldnt that be interesting. Sam Green said enough of this sUlinees and demanded-that all spare nickels be returned to her immediately. (Unfortunately, liz Van Assum had a queen fetish and pouted in the comer. Meanwhile Siobhan Koantree slap shot around the planet at 153 000 miles an hour in search of truth. Rick Hiebert said 'get back down here, I already know it'. Steve Chan fell to the ground in giggles, after all a photograph is not a replication of reality. Doug Ferris nodded his hippy head, his being exuding those famous wards, *ya man'. Nick Delaney took the magic flaming bush from Doug's hand and grinned. Meanwhile, Simon Says stared into the darkness, but the glowing light could not be found. Otto lam looked too, but he fell into a tunnel. At the end of yet another life time, Paula Wellings ripped off her rotting clothes and in her decaying, yet sexy. corpse began a search for Denise Woodley. Edltora Frances Foran • Sam Green • Yukie Kurahashi Lucho van Isschot • Paula Wellings Letters The Ubyssey welcomes letters on any Issue. Letters must be typed and are not to exceed 300 words in length. Content which is judged to be libelous, homophobic, sexist, racist or factually Incorrect will not be published. Please be concise. Letters may be edited for brevity, but It Is standard Ubyssey policy not to edit letters for spelling or grammatical mistakes. Please bring them, with identification, to SUB 241k. Letters must Include name, faculty, and signature. Practise what you preach Let me begin by writing that I thought the Environment issue of The Ubyssey was reasonably well written and informative. Ifs important that someone keeps an eye on corporate polluters, regardless of the 'greenwash.' However, I'm concerned that The Ubyssey does not address or recognize its own environmentally destructive behaviour. By this I mean the printing, every week, of thousands more copies of The Ubyssey than the campus can possibly support. During a survey of campus buildings, 6000 unread Ubysseys dating back one month were counted. Considering the limited scope of such a survey, this is a very conservative estimate. At approximately .05 kg/copy, the 6000 unread copies, per month, accumulate to 2.4 tonnes of wasted paper during the eight month winter session. The real figure is probably twice that amount. This puts pressure on a system which cannot bear it. It may seem that 2.4 tonnes is not a big deal; however, it is a big deal when one considers thehypocrisy committed by a paper which consistently presents itself as a defender of environmental causes. One could excuse this incredible waste if the overproduction was just the result of Ubyssey staff overzealousness. While I trust their enthusiasm, the reason for their overproduction is more mercenary. Advertisers pay more for a higher circulation. Thafs what it comes down to for the newspaper that has been "countering culture since 1918"— money. I enjoy The Ubyssey, and I feel that the portion of my AMS fees which subsidize it is money well spent; but, as an interested "shareholder," of sorts, I feel I must voice my concern over this paper's hypocrisy and deceit. It is your responsibility to your children and children's children to resolve this problem. Scott Urquhart Arts 4 A letter we wouldn't dare print I found your Friday January 29th, 1993issuetobeaveryinter- esting piece of work. Right there on the front cover, no less, we have the words "GARBAGE", "WASTE", "CLEAR-CUT BIG TREES", and my all time favorite "AND THE HYPOCRISY". Anyone on this campus can easily see that your newspaper is also to blame for this problem of waste and disappearingtrees. Just go into any building and you can see that there are always filled racks containing your untouched newspapers. I suggest that your newspaper reduce the number printed each Tuesday and Friday so that some trees can be saved. Moreover, even though your newspaper is printed on recycled paper, this would be no excuse because energy is still used in the recycling process and this in itself depletes the earth's resources, increasing pollution of the environment. I beg of you to do your part and free up some paper so that it could be used elsewhere. I hope in the future the UBYSSEY racks are empty because every single copy has been taken and read by someone who has passed it on to someone else. I conclude this letter with the firm belief that it will never, ever be published in your newspaper because you are the HYPO CRITES that should have been named on the front cover. Well, lo and behold, your name is in fact printed there and rightly so in big, bold letters. Have a nice day and a GREEN one at that P.S. Cancel my subscription! Jaci Price Physical Education 3 The original position-up or down Let us consider the ethical dilemma surrounding the toilet bowl. You may ask what dilemma, the stain? No , nothing as trivial as that will be discussed here. Rather, we will debate the original position ofthe toilet seat. Is its original position up, or down? Some enjoy standing up, others prefer sitting down. I myself prefer to sit. Nonetheless, I have been known to stand up whilst performing the act. Indeed this choice has led to my grief from those who prefer to sit. These people claim the Original Position is down. I, having an inquiring mind, and no money either, question the justification for such a proposition. How does one determine the original position of the toilet seat without making universal claims about toilet seat ethics. Avoiding charges of universal claims, they claim the central issue is a matter of practicality, that cashes outin terms of a wetbehind. To this I answer, Why do I have to lift it up and put it back down, when all they have to do is sit? Mind you, I could leave it down, however, I admit my aim is not that good which leads us back to the wet bum syndrome. Fortunately, because I live behind the veil of ignorance, Ihave no solution to this problem. But I suggest further investigation into a practical solution that would avoid universal claims about the original Position ofthe toilet seat, and instead would include a more contextual approach the aggregate of ethics surrounding Bathroom Behavior. A brief survey of such issues should include the existen tial reality of being caught without paper; a deconstructionist view to personal hygiene; a contractarian analysis of hot water supply; and an applied ethical approach to the utility of sewage [whose common good does it serve anyway?]. Stephen Giles Arts 3 Slate politics a sham by Jan Forcler Was there ever any real doubt about who would win the AMS elections? We've had campaign slates for three years and each year a dominant slate has swept the AMS elections. In 1991 Jason Brett's Unity slate claimed every position. In 1992 Martin Ertl's slate also won 5 out of 5. And this year, Bill Dobie's group seized all but one of the executive positions. Theeiection success of slates shows they have serious advantages over independent candidates. For this reason, the AMS should seriously consider whether they should be limited. Individual candidates are not ah lowed to spend more than $150 each on theeiection. Groups, however,can pool their monies and spend more on mem. bers who have strong competition. Slates can also print far more posters than independent candidates by taking advantage of bulk rates. They can also increase their posters' visual impact by making ail of their candidates' posters similar. Last year's Students' Voice slate put up many more of their posters than any other candidate could ever hope to. Also, by saving money on printing, slates have more funds available for other expenditures such asfree beer and fortune cookies. But the most important advantage of being a member of a slate is that Freestyle a few strong candidates, or "shoe-in's", can attract votes to less popular candidates through their association with "star candidates". Besides the fact that slate members have campaign advantages over independents, the most unfair aspect of slate politics is the way in which the slates are formed. The strongest groups are made up exclusively of AMS insiders and hacks. Personal differences often determine who gets on the winning team. Both Janice Boyle and Carolyn Jones ran as independents, partially because of conflicts with theStudents First slate.Although Janice broke"slate- power" with her election victory, Carolyn lost by such a slim margin that being on the slate probably would have gotten her elected If council members are really concerned about the society's accessibility, they should seriously question a system which chooses executive candidates In the back rooms of the SUB. Slates givemembers a distinct edge over Independent candidates, enough so to swing every election for the last three years. This trend will undoubtedly continue unless the AMS admits that this system leaves other candidates out in the cold. Don't hold your breath for change in our electoral system since it's in the Insiders' interest to maintain "continuity" and pass the torch on to their colleagues next year. I L Ooooops!!! The Ubyssey made an error in its election coverage last issue. The actual results for the AMS Vice-President position are as follows: Janice Boyle 1,094 Christa Cormack 821 Ron Fremont 264 Dr. Seuss 260 Woodchuck 205 Shalan Parks 172 .J 6/THE UBYSSEY February 5.1993 O PIN ION Spieriinii love tofu burgers By Jonty Bogardus It has become obvious that it is going to take more than the three R's to save the world from environmental destruction. However, unless you wish to become a hemp activist or picket environmentally unfriendly corporations, the Tues. Jan. 26 issue of the Ubyssey was a little short suggesting ways in which we as individuals may help. We must realize that not everyone will expend the time or energy to make environmental concerns a top priority. But, what many people may be willing to do is to make simple lifestyle changes that will have a positive impact on the environment. So, what is an environmentally conscious but otherwise occupied person to do? Simple, stop eating meat. Why? Because the production of animal products for human consumption is the single greatest cause of continued global environmental destruction. One third of all natural resources consumed in the U.S. is for the production of meat. How come? To produce one kilogram of beef requires 16 kilograms of grain, soy or corn and 20,000 litres of water. In fact, if the water and feed were not subsidized beef would cost $60 a kilogram. In California, 42% of all water is consumed by the production of livestock. No meat = no drought. Also, for every calorie of energy that we receive from beef seventy-eight calories of fossil fuels were consumed in its production. On the other hand, the production of a vegetarian diet requires only one twentieth of the fossil fuel energy of a meat based diet. In fact, if you are a meat- eater, please drive your car to school instead of walking. It actually turns out to be more fuel efficient. So you want to save the rainforests? Much of the deforested rainforests of Central and South America are currently being used as grazing land for cattle. No demand for beef = no need for continued destruction. 260 million acres of land are currently being used for food production in the U.S. 204 million acres could be returned to nature through the elimination of livestock production. Why? One acre of land can produce over 10,000 kilograms of potatoes. The same acre can produce only 80 kilograms of meat. And what about pollution? Well, 100,000 kilograms of excrement are produced every second by livestock in the U.S. Most will eventually find its way into waterways, making it a greater source of pol- Perspective lution than all municipal and industrial sources combined. A simple change in your lifestyle will reduce your energy consumption drastically, reduce pollution and allow almost one acre of farm land to return into its natural state. However, the environment is just one of many reasons, as shall be briefly demonstrated, as to why we should all become vegetarians. The use and abuse of animals for food is simply specieism and rests on similar ethical grounds to racism and sexism. Culturally, we are no longer hunters and gatherers. Meat has become a luxury, one that we can no longer afford. Healthwise the choice is obvious. One half of all meat-eaters will die from a heart related disease. In contrast, only 4% of vegetarians will perish as a result of a heart attack or stroke. A meat-eater al so risks a greater chance of contracting colon, breast, bowel and prostate cancers. Osteoporosis, dia.betes, ulcers, arthritis, asthma amd hypertension are similarly related to meat consumption. My favorite health related sta tistic comes from a recent study of U.S. university students. PCB's, still present in the environment even though its use has been discontinued, were found in every sperm sample taken for this study. Its existence is believed to be the major reason why average sperm counts are only 70% of the level recorded thirty years ago. Also one in four male students were foun d to be functionally sterile. I don't know about you, but anything that might make me sterile I'm going to avoid as best I can. Still, many people remain unconvinced ofthe virtues of vegetarianism. Concerns fueled by ignorance and fear appear to be the greatest factors in its continued denial. While there is not time to assuage every possible concern here I can address the one that is most frequently voiced. Whenever I make my dietary preference known I am almost invariably asked, "But, where do you get your protein?" The simplest answer to this question is another question. "Where do cows get their protein?" Amino acids, the building blocks of proteins, exist in every fruit, vegetable and grain. Without going into detail, suffice to say that it is extremely difficult (i.e. without going heavy on the junk food) to not get enough protein in your diet provi de d you are not malnourished. In other words, unless you are anorexic or bulimic, a vegetarian diet contains more than enough protein. The only valid concerns are with vitamins B12 and D and iron, which complete vegetarians (no milk or eggs) can be deficient in. However, popping the occasional multivitamin will eliminate this potential problem. The choice seems clear. Vegetarianism is not a fad. You do not have to be a Hippie or an enviro- freak to become one. It is simply the only rational choice for our generation. Help the environment and help yourself. Don't eat meat. If you wish more information on this topic come see me in the Arts office in Buch A107 or refer to A Diet for a New America by John Robbins. But, whatever you do, don't ignore this opportunity to make a difference. 2F <m x\ ^m^^y, Sunday 4pm- 11pm lO" X-LARGE $18.00 14" LARGE $12.00 822-4396 Just call and we'll be there! ... drama, films, music, public speaking, readings, symposia and exhibits. presented t>v Creative and Performing Arts Depatments Faculty of Arts The University of British Columbia February 11 -14,1993 For information and brochure call 822-55'?4 The position of Assistant Director of Finance is available. Responsibilities include: - reporting to the Director of Finance; - keeping regular office hours; - assisting clubs and constituencies in preparing their budgets; - orientating treasurers to the procedures of the Business Office and to the fiscal policies of the AMS; and - membership on the Student Administrative Commission. Please deliver your resume to Terri Folsom, Administrative Assistant, in SUB 238 by Wednesday, February 10,1993. Please direct queries to Bill Dobie, Director of Finance, in SUB 258 at 822-3973. mm i^j Try it STEAMY HOT! Directions: Pour in microwave safe mug and! heat to desired temperature. Made from real Italian espresso coffee, whole milk and sugar. No Artificial Flavouring, Colouring or Preservatives. dinoccino! •®*®*©-©*®W*®*©©*®t©*©©*W©*®-®*©© When it rains, we pour on the specials! ...come to the AMS "Va/wi£ime b Q)au 7 7 9 February 10th - 12th v •» •»•» «■> T » «• •» » 9 **? ENTER TO WIN VALENTINE PRIZES! **? C9 Complete the af lathed entry form and drop lm the Prize C9 T Draw Box located in the SUB Concourse durlnai the show. T m Drawl Thurs. Feb. 11th @ 5:OOpm. M •©©•^•^•^•W*®^*^^^^*^^*^*^^*®*^ Name Faculty/Dept./Co Phone No. * only one entry per person February 5,1993 THE UBYSSEY/7 COLOUR LASERS! s1.45 1st copy .95 each additional copy (8.5 x 11 Irom same uaiiej UNIVERSITY VILI Ai*f 2ND FLOUR 2174 W. PARKWAY VANCOUVER. BC 2?\d?d^ FAX ^24-4492 OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK M-TH 8-9 FRI 8-6 SAT-SUN 11-6 AMPUS OMPUTERS IT Premium Exec 386SX/25 Notebook • 4MB RAM (expandable to 8MB) • 60MB Hard Drive • Carrying Case -MS-DOS 5 $ 1788 !Mv4^ ilb^A-i- - - *. , \ " x v" x-v , ^M- wft««^»N«««^ •."■■•.w-V. •■ S*wjo t v,, %■*-*. v-*«»N>W*v**\ ^WVWk,v&.v^v^ -*. \>**.«.\% .y.V.>>i<.v.*.**. *-. % ^-.» •*- s% -«h.*0*.vv%-*t> s v ■* -^ W.V. •■. \ ..v. How to make a spectacle of yourself U.B.C SURREY KELOWNA 228-8080 584-8080 862-3188 UBC AWARDS William G. Black Memorial Prize William G. Hack Memorial Prize - a prize in the amount of approximately $1,600 has been made available by the late Dr. William G. Black The topic for the essay will be designed to attract students from all disciplines. The competition is open to students who are enrolled in undergraduate or professional programs and who do not already possess a graduate degree. A single tope of general nature related to Canadian citizenship will be presented to students at the tin*ie of the time of the competition. Duration of the competion will be two hours. Candidates should bring their student card for identification. The competition will be held: DATE: Saturday, February 13, 1993 TIME: 10:00 a.m. -12 noon PLACE: Scarfe 100 by Douglas Ferris My mother always told me that I shouldn't make a spectacle of myself. Okay, a cardinal rule it wasn't, but there are people who make a living off this stuff. "Visit over 200 exhibits and talk to the experts in the field," the pamphlet said. Eighteen different seminars on how to shamelessly promote yourself and/or your product. Special Events Exhibition "under the sails" January 26 and 27 Vancouver Trade and Convention Centre The seminar syllabus included topics like "How to get free press" Qike this), "Special events and the law," "Beyond conventional," and my personal favorite, "How to reach ethno-cultural communities." Some came for office party decoration tips, some for new product line displays, some to see distributors undercut each other. Me? Well... I... don't have a life. I walked in and strolled down an aisle, idiot-grin plastered on my face. Finally looking up, I saw the Herve Villachez Memorial Tattoo Booth (Wonder of wonders! Could Tattoo be dead?). Industrial tattoos. IBM logos proudly displayed on corporate buttheads. GMC tricycles, Dow Chemical scull and crossbones, briefcases with Harley Davidson wings. Then it hit me. No corporate droogie could ever strike that billion-dollar deal with a sinking Exxon Valdez on his/her forehead. "Wait a second, those tattoos are wash-off fakes," I almost screamed to the crowd milling around the booth. But then I re gained control, reminding myself that I had entered the land of two-dimensional fraud. The whole point of a good spectacle, after all, is its hollowness, its deliberate flatness, and most of all, its complimentary sampler packs. Feeling tougher, or at least more conspicuous with a shark tattooed on my forehead, I walked around tryin' to make some friends. "Fat chance bucko," my overworked sense of reality said. But reality is butter and I am Shonen Knife. I browsed. I schmoozed. I giggled. I watched the free entertainment—Fitness World's aerobic's instructors—on the "main stage." I kept walking up to people stuck in the 12 to 20 person-deep free beer lineup, asking them to pose for the "hidden camera." My sobriety, I assumed, was an obvious downer on their fun. I kept trying to interview the guy who rented out corporate yachts, but he kept interrupting me to ask which paper I was with. The spectacle-man wanted $5,000 minimum for the opening ceremony for my lobotomy. The helicopter free-samples had shut down; as if they were ever open in the first place! I overheard that the barbecue was great, while I busily scraped up popcorn dregs. Mr. Tube Steak didn't have any "Tubular Sausage Food," and the stripper-comedienne was busy. "Thanks heaps!" I muttered, as I cautiously edged my way to the exit. But before reaching the door, I was attacked by free chocolate samples. Strangely, the sugar-induced rush was soothing, allowing for 10 seconds of quiet reflection. Morally speaking, there really is nothing wrong with orgies of idiocy like the Special Events Exhibition. Nothing, at least, that a can of fluorescent, safety- orange spray-paint can't cure. February Schedule of Events pOHT UNDERSTA»b A one-man sho\ (or studs, wimps, nice guys, jerks, dweebs, hunks, boyfriends, nerds, bachelors, jocks, sissies,... macho men, brothers, Playboys, dudes, dickheads, womanizers, SNAGs, husbands, sex machines, dorks, lover-boys, bullies, hearfbreakers & Written & Performed b Monday Feb 8th SUB Auditorium Eugene Ripper & Dead Head Cool 4*e^. fStU Rumplesteelslcin -..'.M. -siXdiX:. <.* . The Watchmen Info line: 822-6273 s YAMAHA provided by Locations on the UBC Campus February 22nd - 26th Free Shows SUB Auditorium UBC Student Union Building lunchtime shows 12:30pm I The Gallery Lounge UBC Stud-ant Union Building lunchtime shows 12.*30pm pianos evening shows 8:00pm Thea's UBC Graduate Student Centre 2 bands per night evening shows 7:00 & 9:00pm For more Info, call 822-8998 An AMS Programs and AMS Jazz, Folk *L Blues Club Production 8/THE UBYSSEY February 5.1993
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The Ubyssey Feb 5, 1993
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Title | The Ubyssey |
Publisher | Vancouver : Alma Mater Society of the University of British Columbia |
Date Issued | 1993-02-05 |
Subject |
University of British Columbia |
Geographic Location | Vancouver (B.C.) |
Genre |
Newspapers |
Type |
Text |
File Format | application/pdf |
Language | English |
Identifier | LH3.B7 U4 LH3_B7_U4_1993_02_05 |
Collection |
University Publications |
Source | Original Format: University of British Columbia. Archives |
Date Available | 2015-08-27 |
Provider | Vancouver : University of British Columbia Library |
Rights | Images provided for research and reference use only. Permission to publish, copy, or otherwise use these images must be obtained from The Ubyssey: http://ubyssey.ca/ |
Catalogue Record | http://resolve.library.ubc.ca/cgi-bin/catsearch?bid=1211252 |
DOI | 10.14288/1.0126679 |
Aggregated Source Repository | CONTENTdm |
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