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The Ubyssey Sep 15, 2011

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Emergency crews called to
Wreck Beach Our Campus
One on one with
the people who
make UBC
Want to get
involved with
the Ubyssey?
Editors: Kalyeena Makortoff & Micki Cowan
09.15.20111 3
Tayyar: HST rollback a "pain in the ass" for taxed AMS businesses
Andrew Bates
Senior Web Writer
For AMS businesses, implementing Harmonized Sales Tax (HST)
and revamping all of their inventory
was a pain. Now the switch back
to the Provincial Sales Tax (PST)
and Goods and Services Tax (GST)
system means businesses will have to
jump through all the hoops again.
"Going back and forth definitely
doesn't help us," said AMS VP
Finance Elin Tayyar. "It's a pain in
the ass."
The HST, which has briefly
replaced the GST and PST, was announced after the 2009 provincial
election and implemented on July 1,
A public initiative campaign led
to the HST's repeal this August as
British Columbians voted to extinguish it in a binding referendum.
"It's just a lot more work. There's
definitely an air of uncertainty for everyone," Tayyar said. "It's scheduled
to be January 2013—the rollback—
and we're not sure if that's goingto
be back to the same system or if we're
goingto have a different tax, whether
or not HST is goingto change."
Accordingto AMS director of
finance Richard Hester, it will
require reintroducing complexity
to the process. "We've just implemented a new POS system, so we're
goingto have to recode all ofthe
items in all of our outlets to break
them up into GST/PST," he said.
"So at the moment, they're all nice
and simple...and we don't know at
the moment what the exemptions
are goingto be."
According to UBC tax law
professor David Duff, the HST,
which did not carry the PST's exemption for restaurant meals, likely
had an effect on the types of food
service jobs students often rely on—
but the situation may not improve.
"Of course, ifyou put a tax on an
industry that wasn't taxed before,
there's goingto be some effect," he
said. "[But] I'd be skeptical that getting rid of the HST is goingto create some kind of boom in the restaurant industry. It's not clear that
down the road, the PST will never
apply to restaurant meals. Those
things might change," said Duff.
Duff felt both sides in the HST
controversy were a letdown, as bad
tax politics produced bad tax policy—and price increases due to the
HST are not expected to disappear.
"I don't foresee price decreases,
to tell you the truth. If there's any
savings from HST, cost of goods are
going up, so we'll just maintain the
prices instead of raising them," he
said. "That's something for future
generations of executives and our
businesses, in general, to worry
about." 13
Man falls off cliffs at Wreck Beach
Andrew Bates
Senior Web Writer
An unidentified man appearing to
be in his 20s fell off of a cliff between the Museum of Anthropology
and Wreck Beach on UBC campus
at approximately lpm on Monday,
September 12.
Wreck Beach-goers Ryan Fletcher
and Noel Farrand were the first
people on the scene. "I was just
getting settled down there, at the
beach, I heard a noise, I put my head
there and I saw the body go down,"
Fletcher said. "He was unconscious
at first, and not for very long, and
then we called for help."
It was Farrand who called the
police. "Itwas pretty clear from the
beginning that it had to do with his
leg, because he was kind of moving
around, but there was part of his leg
that wasn't moving."
BC Ambulance called Joint
Rescue Coordination Centre
Victoria (JRCCV) and hovercraft
were called on scene. The man
was found on the beach in "rough
At 1:17pm the man was conscious,
forming full sentences but was in a
great amount of pain. Emergency
services were loading him onto a
spine board for transport.
At 1:35pm, JRCCV told The
Ubyssey that the man was being transported by hovercraft
to meet ambulance services for
further transport to Vancouver
General Hospital. His injuries
were considered serious, but not
Accordingto Farrand, the quick
response by emergency services,
which took about 30 minutes, made
dealing with the incident much
"Not having to do any intensive
News briefs
Gage South petition
A group of students led by UBC
Insiders editor Neal Yonson have
launched a petition to designate
Gage South, the area currently
comprised of the bus loop and
Maclnnes field, as "academic" land.
Its current designation is "land
under review." which has raised
concerns that UBC will eventually
develop the land for non-student
"Gage South is surrounded by
public, student-centric amenities...areas [that] are considered
academic and are part of the area
that UBC considers the 'heart of
campus.' Non-student housing is
neither public nor student-centric
An emergency response team lifts the injured man onto a Coast Guard hovercraft
first aid's always a relief, just because you don't know someone's full
injuries, or what's goingto happen,"
he said.
"So itwas nice to have people
come from all directions, EMTs, fire
department, keep him conscious.
Keep him breathing, not moving too
Fletcher, a publicist, had never
had to deal with such an emergency
and therefore does not fit in with
the character of the surrounding
area." wrote Yonson in a blog post.
The online petition is linked
through ubcinsiders.ca.
UVic students take action for
more public transit
Some students at UVic are tired of
seeing full buses pass them by
While the Victoria Regional Transit
Commission met on Tuesday.
September 13. UVic students simultaneously launched the Passed Up?
transit campaign.
Year after year, students are getting left behind at the bus stop during peak hours, said UVic Student
incident before. "You did well,"
Farrand told Fletcher.
Farrand, a tour guide and staffer
at the UBC Ropes Course, had some
experience. "I've done it a few times,
not tons, more than I'd like to," he
said. "You never want to be a part of
that, right?"
Farrand noted that many people
in the UBC community come to the
Society chairperson Tara Paterson.
Students need to have reliable bus
service to be able to make it to
classes on time. BC
Transit has many innovative
ideas to improve service, but they
are held back by the lack of funding coming from the provincia
Over the coming months, students will be contacting Minister
of Transportation Blair Lekstrom to
call on the BC government to help
BC Transit with an injection of new
funding from the carbon tax.
Stabbing on UBC-O campus
Kelowna RCMP have arrested
eight people in connection with a
"The poor guy, he's 20 years old,
he just got to school, probably," he
said. "A lot of people come to these
cliffs at UBC, and we just want them
to be safe, and careful about what
they're doing." 13
—with files from Arshy Mann,
Geoff Lister and Kalyeena Makortoff
stabbing incident that took place
early Saturday morning at UBC's
Okanagan (UBC-O) campus.
RCMP responded at 1:29am and
found three male victims with life-
threatening injuries.
Seven men and one youth have
been taken into custody as part
of the RCMP investigation. Police
are recommending charges of aggravated assault and possession of
a prohibited weapon against six of
the men.
The other male could face two
charges of aggravated assault and
Four of the seven arrested are
U BC-0 students. One of the victims
is a UBC-O student. 13
Bike shelter to be
built in chemistry
Dominic Lai
UBC is set to build yet another secure bike shelter—an improvement
to bike racks already on campus.
The stand-alone facility, to be
located in the chemistry complex,
features a secure area for 55 bikes,
with lockers available for users to
store their gear.
Construction on the project will
begin around November and will
wrap up before the April exam
"The intent of these types of facilities are to help remove some of
the barriers of cycling," said Carole
Jolly, UBC's director of transportation planning.
"One ofthe barriers we know is a
concern is around theft. By providing secure bike parking facilities,
we are removing a barrier."
The facility will be open to students, faculty and staff who have
registered at the AMS Bike Kitchen,
which is the proccess for all secured
campus bike cages.
The chemistry bike shelter will
join seven existing shelters at UBC.
Two more are in development.
However, each one is slightly
"Outside it'll look pretty industrial—metal and concrete, but
as you walk in, the entire ceiling
will be wood with no significant
exposed structure," said Ian Ross
McDonald, the associate with
Bruce Carscadden Architect Inc.,
the company that is responsible for
the shed.
The shelter also has a planned
rainwater receptacle that will
divert water from the drains. The
lockers will be made from recycled
First-year science student Daniel
Chao said, "I think it's a great idea
overall. The building's goingto be
a great addition to the area and I'm
planning on really using it once it's
done instead ofthe regular bike
racks." 13 41 News I o9.i5.2oii
The Chapman Learning Commons has no books but provides computers and study spaces for students. UBC is rethinking the role ofthe library in a university education
UBC working to move libraries out of the 1990s
Tim Chow
When people first walk through the
doors of Toronto's downtown reference library, there's a good chance
they're goingto take note ofthe
liquor licensed "salon" before they
see the books.
And the trend of turning libraries
into social spaces is not reserved to
that reference library.
Like the liquor-serving Toronto
library, UBC libraries are evolving
from places of books to places that
support different learning styles and
digitization of information.
Just a quick glance at Koerner
Library and Irving K Barber
Learning Centre (1KB) shows how
libraries are evolving on campus.
"Koerner represents a different
time, back in tne early 90s where the
model for learning was that formal
learning only happened in the classroom from professors, then students
go away and learn by themselves,"
said Simon Neame, director of 1KB.
"The university recognized that
learning has evolved to include social
and group learning," Neame continued. "For some students, learning
happens from each other during
group work rather than from professors during lectures."
Jo Anne Newyear Ramirez, associate university librarian, recalled
a time when she passed through the
basement level of Koerner Library
to find that students had rearranged
study carrels to facilitate group
study. "1KB tries to support social
Program brings North
Korean profs to UBC
Will McDonald
A new program designed to promote engagement between Canada
and North Korea will be bringing
six professors from North Korea
to study English and economics at
UBC for six months.
"It's a very tentative program.
It's the first time it's been done.
We're not sure where it's going.
Even at the very worst, we're going to learn things. There doesn't
seem to be any downside to it,"
said Stephen Owen, VP External,
Legal and Community Relations
for UBC Public Affairs.
"It might turn out to be a very
positive thing, it might be a bust
and something that isn't continued. But I don't think we can lose
on it."
The program, which is called
the Democratic People's Republic
of Korea Knowledge Partnership
Program, is directed by Kyung-Ae
Park, the director of UBC's Centre
for Korean Research.
The names ofthe professors have not been released, but
they are experts in their respective fields of macroeconomics,
taxation, international trade and
finance at Kim II Sung University
and Jong Jun Taek Economics
They arrived at UBC in July
and spent the first two months
ofthe program studying English.
Accordingto UBC Public Affairs,
in addition to taking courses on
economics and management, the
professors will conduct research
projects with faculty advisors.
"The desire is not to prop up a
regime in North Korea, but to open
up a country...we have so few lines
of communication that the universities and our civil society groups
can do things that the government
can't do," said Paul Evans, UBC's
director of Asian Research.
Accordingto Evans, UBC has
had a history of academic exchanges with North Korea since
the 1990s.
"There's a certain confidence
that has been built up over history
in exchanges and that's part ofthe
reason that North Koreans feel
this is a good place for exchange,"
said Evans.
Although academic exchanges
between Canada and North Korea
have occurred in the past, this is
the first program of its type to be
held at UBC.
Evans also commented on the
potential ofthe program.
"If we can see some indication of a more open conversation,
genuinely, knowledge being built
on both sides through this and the
other events, that's a modest but
important step forward in trying to end the isolation of North
Korea." 13
learning with open spaces, and
tables and chairs that easily move
around," Neame added.
The implementation ofthe new
group study spaces in 1KB was not
without challenges.
"The benefits certainly outweighed challenges [but] we do ask
students to contribute to maintaining the space, such as cleaning up
after [themselves]," said Neame.
Other libraries on campus are also
updated to provide spaces to accommodate different learning styles.
The newly renovated garden level in
Woodward Library provides spaces
for group learning. New libraries in
the Sauder School of Business and
the Faculty of Law will provide a
mixture of quiet and group study
Digitization of printed materials freed up a lot of space for group
study spaces, but don't expect
printed materials to become extinct
at UBC.
"It is currently in a state of transition," said director of library digital
initiatives, Allen Bell. However,
printed materials no longer need to
sit on open shelves, thanks to innovations such as the automated storage
and retrieval system in 1KB.
"The demand for printed materials is still strong," Newyear Ramirez
added. "People still want to be able to
refer to the original material [in case]
some materials do not come through
when digitized."
The general bustle surrounding
the study spaces at 1KB shows the
group spaces have been a success.
Michelle Schumacher, a fourth-
year undergraduate student majoring
in international relations, finds the
group study spaces useful.
"If there is stuff that I do not know
about and I know that other people
have a solid grasp ofthe material, I
prefer to do group study," she said.
But that doesn't mean that the
quiet dungeon-like stalls of Koerner
will disappear just yet.
"If I know that I know the [information], I'll go study by myself," said
Neame said that 1KB will preserve silent study areas to some
extent. "[1KB] strives to provide
environments to support a range
of learning styles, including group
study spaces and quiet study carrels." 13
50 Grads.
One Weekend.
Your Future.
We're inviting 50 of
Canada's top engineering
students to Waterloo
for one weekend to
plan their futures.
All expenses paid/
Want to join us?
The 50 Graduates Weekend is a chance for
selected Canadian students interested in master's
and PhD studies to learn about graduate programs
in the Faculty of Engineering at the University of
Waterloo and experience life in one of Canada's
most vibrant communities.
You will tour state-of-the-art engineering facilities,
explore innovative research programs, and learn
about collaborations with the region's growing list
of technology, automotive, financial, health and
environmental companies.
You will also get a taste of the region's exciting
social life with visits to local cultural centres,
restaurants and the idyllic village of St. Jacobs.
It's happening
November 3 to 6, 2011
Apply at:
Apply by: September 30, 2011
'Details regarding travel expenses can be found at: engineering.uwaterloo.ca/50graduates Cnltnre»
Editor: Ginny Monaco
09.15.20111 5
Everyday I'm hassling
Hasslers.org will get on your case
Andrew Bates
Senior Web Writer
Sometimes you just need someone
to hold your feet to the fire to get
your paper in on time.
Gordon McGladdery wants to be
that man. A 27-year-old musician
from Victoria, McGladdery founded
Hasslers.org, a peculiar type of internet startup that eschews automation for the personal touch.
Hasslers is a motivational service
where you sign up with a goal and
your contact information, and one
of their qualified hassling associates—though currently, McGladdery
is the only one—contacts you at the
appropriate time and gently prods
you until you get the job done.
"You've had days, I'm sure, where
you've spent the whole day at the
computer, and then all of a sudden, the day is gone and you've
kind of wasted it, and you feel bad,"
McGladdery said. "We all need
outside motivation, I think. Friends
don't want to do it because they
want to hang out, and you hate it
when your family does it."
Hasslers can afford to be politely
firm. "If someone ignores a hassle
that they've requested, first of all,
they're ignoring me, which is kind
of rude, and people don't like being
rude. And I think you also have to
consciously process that you're ignoring your own advice," he said.
"I had one girl who wanted to be
hassled to sew her jeans five days in
a row," McGladdery said. "I called
her the first time, she said, 'No, I
can't do it today, I'm organizing a
party,' and I asked her if it was a
jeans-sewing party."
The human element is what
separates Hasslers from notifications and organizational software,
Fringe reviews |
Written and performed entirely by
Sebastian X Samur, an MA student
in the University of Quebec's theatre
programmed is a perverse retelling
of Little Red Riding Hood. And it is
exceedingly funny.
It's not an especially complex
piece of work. The performance
highlights Samur's profuse physical
acting abilities. At the beginning
ofthe show, audience members are
given bells which, at given times,
may be rung, at which point Samur
will shift between playing either
Red or the Wolf.
It's a fun way of integrating
audience participation into the
performance, and readily provides
audience members with an opportunity to be excessively pernicious
to the performer. Moreover, it is immensely amusing to watch how each
character interprets the body position which was previously occupied
by the other.
Samur's ability to contort his
body and convey posture is exceptional. It is remarkable that, almost
entirely through the use of exaggerated facial expressions and physical
gestures, he is able to maintain the
momentum ofthe performance
while consistently provoking laughter; only basic video and music editing compliments his actions.
—Rhys Edwards
Now you can pay someone to do what your mom used to do for free
accordingto McGladdery. "It's
harder to ignore a person than it is
to ignore a machine."
Currently, the service is free in
its testing stage, but McGladdery
plans to introduce a sliding pay scale
based on magnitude, where the first
hassle is free and the next nine are
89 cents for text messages and $1.19
for emails or phone calls.
When the service started a month
ago, it raced to forty users, but it
Giant Invisible Robot
Giant Invisible Robot-written and
performed by Jayson McDonald-is
an engaging comedy with weight
behind it.
Robot gives us a glimpse into the
mind of Russell—a man who reads
comics, bites his nails, and is shy
around the opposite sex.
The man's only friend is an invisible robot, a machine programmed
for "atrocious and spontaneous acts
of violence". Despite its instinct to
destroy cities across America, the
mechanical monster resists the
urge to squish the lonely Russell.
Companions for years, the two social outcasts experience the highs
and lows of life together.
As the play wanders from the
perspective of one character to the
other, the audience glimpses the
psyche of a child and the realities of growing up in an unhappy
McDonald gives an exceptional
performance, utilizing the power
of laughter to capture the viewer's
heart. He masters both the swagger
of Captain Victory and the allure of
the attractive woman from upstairs.
McDonald is entirely convincing
of his characters and their imaginary world. This charming tale is
filled with much laughter and a
small dose of heartbreak.
—Rheanna Buursma
generally shakes down a steady client base of around 10-15 people.
"I've had three people who wanted to just get hassled for exercise,
and it worked out well for them," he
said. "I had one guy who wanted me
to call him three times a week and
tell him to do something useful. The
last time I talked to him, he had just
bought an accordion, and he was
going home to practice his accordion." 13
Need more?
The "SnuzNLuz" Donation Alarm
Clock takes hassling one step
further. Using your Wifi connection, the clock connects to your
bank account. Every time you hit
the snooze button, it donates a
designated amount of money to a
charity you hate, thinkgeek.com
Fruitcake is a dark and funny look into life in the psychiatric ward
Rob Gee is certainly no Nurse
The slam-poet turns his eleven
years as a psychiatric nurse into a
tangy confection in Fruitcake: Ten
Commandments from the Psych
Ward. Over the hour-long one-
man show, Gee makes the rounds
and exposits on the hilarity of
Gee is a capable wordsmith and
makes his excursions into verse
with ease. His anecdotes-some-
times bawdy, sometimes horrify-
ing-invite more wry amusement
than knee-slapping laughter. Each
chapter begins, with a voice-over
"Commandment" from God-who
apparently is female and drawls in
a Jamaica accent. Gee's storytelling was unnecessarily restricted by
the structure. The musical number
ending the show should also be
While the only kind of humour
concerning mental patients is the
inappropriate kind, Gee's affection
for his former wards is evident.
The broad physical comedy is tempered with touches of
Years in a flawed health system
encouraged a healthy serving of
skepticism, but he never lost his
empathy or sense of humour. This is
a man who stared into the abyss and
thought it winked back at him. 13
—Catherine Guan
Burlesque performers
twist and shout to the
Catherine Guan
Some pairings are simply classic. Think champagne and caviar, port and Stilton, or perhaps
Gewurztraminer and choucroute.
Local musician Blue Morris
is proposing an addition to this
time-honoured list: the Beatles and
The sexiest vixens of Vancouver
perform burlesque numbers set to
live performances of Beatles hits.
Choreographer and performer Miss
Fitt said it best: "What could be
Beatles Burlesque returns to the
Anza Club on September 19 after a
sold-out show in April. "At the time,
I didn't realize how popular the
idea was goingto be," band-leader
Morris recalled. "As soon as the
tickets went on sale, itwas crazy."
"I think for people who haven't
seen a burlesque show, it might have
opened the door for them, knowing that they would really enjoy the
music," speculated Miss Fitt.
Miss Fitt, among her numerous
endeavours, is finishing her BA in
psychology at UBC. So, how did a
psych major become a modern day
Zeigfield girl?
"I gractually grew up as a dancer
and I was also in musical theatre,"
she said. As for burlesque, "I could
picture the corset-and-stocking aesthetic." Then she performed alongside Burgundy Brixx, who invited
her to go-go dance at the Biltmore's
famed Kitty Nights. Accordingto
Morris, Miss Fitt is now the "go-go
queen" of Vancouver burlesque.
For Morris, the inspiration
behind becoming a burlesque
band-leader was, well, rather odd.
"It was when I saw the movie The
Odd Couple," he said. The character Felix, played by Jack Lemmon,
entered a dance bar where a live
band was accompanying the go-go
dancers. "I saw that and I was like, I
want to play in that band."
A self-admitted eccentric, Morris
remarked on the "accepting atmosphere" of the burlesque community. "Burlesque is different from some
ofthe other physical art forms, such
as conventional stripping," Miss Fitt
explained, "because anybody's body
type, appearance, regardless of age
or weight, is equally celebrated."
Joining them at this edition
of Beatles Burlesque are Max
Lazurus and Eric Rasmusson ofthe
Valuables, and MC Chai Tea.
Morris called being able to perform the Beatles hits in this show "a
dream come true." Miss Fitt agreed.
"It's the same band, but their range
of music allows for a range of burlesque styles."
Among the performances is a
sultry fan dance by Miss Via Rose
to "Blackbird" and an edgy "Helter
Skelter" routine by Melody Mangier,
one ofthe most celebrated burlesque
performers in Vancouver. Miss Fitt
herself is doing a number to "Drive
My Car." "I'm a traffic girl who
wants to be a star and there's lots of
glitter involved," she said. "Lots of
After a pause, she added, "It's
very sexy. I don't think I mentioned
that." 13 How BC universities are fighting to
keep their billion-dollar corporations
out of the public eye
December 2006
January 4,2007
March 1,2004
October 21,2004
October 17,2005
January 4,2008
Noble vs SFU Properties
Investment and
Management Trust
Enterprises Inc.
April 21,2009 May 20,2009 November 25,2009
May 10,2011
Date to be determined:
October 30,2009 November 27,2009       December 27,2010       May 2,2011 »
4    m^ <• o9.i5.2oii | Games 19
(CUP) - Puzzles provided by BestCrosswords.com. Used with permission.
1- Battery terminal
2- Eurasian juniper
3-That is, in Latin
4- Salt of tartaric acid
5- Debt that remains unpaid
8- Coffee container
10- Self-centered person
11-Make _ for it
13-Sault_ Marie
18- At the bottom of the barrel
23-Animal life
25- Congo, formerly
27-Crew needs
28-Half a fly
29- Peter Fonda title role
30- Combustible matter
31- The Hindu Destroyer
33- Negative vote
35-Passes over
42-The Dog Star
44- Put away papers
45- Locations
47- Eagle's nest: var.
49 - Organization to promote
50- Empty
51- Puppeteer Baird
52- -mo
5- Legal rights org.
15-Crowd sound
16- Everglades bird
17-In debit
21- Thick-skinned charger
24-Cabinet dept.
25-Cuban dance
32- Campaigned
34- Swerve sharply
36- Skater Lipinski
37- Shoebox letters
38- Director Kurosawa
39- Kitten
40- Hard to define
42- Prefix meaning "beneath"
43- California wine region
51- African language group
52- British lower-court lawyer
53-Chip maker
54- In of
55- French military cap
56- Buy alternative
58-" quam videri" (North
Carolina's motto)
Free lunch, Wednesdays at
noon. Come schmooze.
a place of mind
U-Pass now
Your September pass is available now
at UBC Bookstore.
Swipe your UBCcard at a vending machine which wil
check your eligibility and then issue you a pass.
Every month, you must pick up your U-Pass at
UBC Bookstore. And remember — print your name
on the back of your pass.
Visit upass.ubc.ca for details
Like you.
With more than 800
transferable courses delivered
online and at a distance,
Athabasca University can help
you build the schedule you want
with the courses you need.
Learn more at
explore.at habascau.ca
Athabasca UniversityiS Opinion »
B Editor- Rrian Piatt
09.15.20111 IQ
Students need a fully
operational SASC
North Korean professors right at home on UBC campus
The Last Word
Parting shots and snap judgments on today's issues
Seriously guys, you should go
to the football game
It's the middle of September, which
means that the sun is still out, which
means that denizens of this campus
can still congregate in large numbers. Take advantage of that now,
because for the rest ofthe year, you
will be cold, wet and overwhelmed
with homework.
Coincidentally, this Saturday at
2pm the T-Birds football team plays
its home opener at Thunderbird
Stadium. They have one win
and one loss, and are playing the
University of Alberta Golden Bears,
who have no wins and two losses. In
other words, a win is both expected
and would help UBC's chances of
making the playoffs for the first
time since 2006.
So come. Enjoy the ambiance of
the stadium. Enjoy the primal force
of football in person with thousands
of fellow students. While you've still
got a little life left in you.
Or FarmAde. Just do
something on campus
Alright, fine. You don't like football.
Too macho, too confusing. We get it.
But we won't let you off the hook
that easily. Friday afternoon is
FarmAde, the annual celebration
of our very own urban farm. It's
a chance to eat free-range burgers, drink handcrafted brew, watch
wonderful bands and generally get
your country fair groove on.
Plus, it's a chance to show your
support for a 24-hectare piece of
land that UBC periodically tries
to develop into more beautiful and
soulless condos. So if football isn't
your cup of tea, odds are you'll enjoy
And if neither farm nor football
fascinate you, then may mercy be
placed upon your soul.
We now have a weekly show
Ifyou're anything like our video
editor, then you're probably still
upset that you never got your invitation to Hogwarts on your 11th
birthday. He believes that a part of
learning how to cope with being
Muggle-born comes with learning
how to be better than ALL OF THE
him, means making ridiculously
awesome videos.
Over the summer we have been
re-thinking and greatly expanding
our online content. No doubt you
have already seen our "93 things
to do" video. And now, this week
marks the first episode of an ongoing weekly video show.
This enables us to explore new
ways of telling stories and offers
new spaces for discussion. So,
basically what our video editor is
trying to say—in his only chance
to write text in our paper—is "that
Hogwarts can shove their elitist acceptance letters up their
urethras. I'm fine with being a
Muggle. The wizarding world can
The WiFi doesn't work, so you
might as well be outside
When a provincial audit of UBC's
open wireless system revealed that
it left users' personal information
vulnerable to attack, UBC decided
to phase out the system altogether
in favour ofthe once optional "ubc-
secure" network. Secure requires
students to log on using an external
application, XpressConnect, and,
based on the tweets, most people
haven't been able to figure it out:
my wireless has been sucking all day!!
Overl.S hours of me trying to connect
to ubcsecure!
ubcsecure is so infuriating! Haven't
been able to connect since 9 this
Resorting to my phone to do my readings because ubcsecure is shit.
A university needs a working wireless system. UBC had the summer
to make sure that the details ofthe
system were communicated to students, and that apparently was not
done in a clear way.
The IT department needs to get
this on track within the week or
consider reverting to the old system.
The bees are disappearing
and it's terrifying
Apples, beets, onions, broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, coffee, pumpkins,
soybeans, flax, carrots, lemons,
peaches, pears, sweet cherries,
blueberries—all tasty treats that are
pollinated by bees and would die
if the bees go away (not to mention
honey). That the bees are dying off
in the Okanagan is problem enough;
without them, it would probably
mean the end of us all. And even if
we managed to survive, what the
fuck would the vegans eat?
Don't blame the Wreck Beach
lifestyle for the fire
Earlier this year the RCMP let us
know that they were going to be
increasing patrols at Wreck Beach.
Wreck Beach is one ofthe few places
in Canada (at least outside of Quebec)
that feels a little like Europe; we can
let it all hang out, in every sense of
that phrase. Which is why we worry
that the recent fire near Totem Park
will cause police to put further restrictions on what happens at Wreck
Beach, despite the fact that the fire
was pretty far south ofthe beach
itself. We obviously agree that people
need to be very careful whenever
they have campfires, but this fire
wasn't caused by Wreck Beach users.
Leave them be.
An empty Pit Pub is
something to cry about
On the first day of school, some editors and reporters from The Ubyssey
decided to grab a few leisurely pints
at the Gallery and the Pit in order to
take the lay ofthe land. With knowledge of years past, we were expecting long lines starting at 2pm.
Instead, there were none. The bars
weren't empty, but they certainly
weren't full of students catching up
with old friends as we expected.
There are many possible explanations for this; students are poorer
everyyear, prices are going up and
expectations for having fun on campus sink lower and lower everyyear.
However one thing is for certain. It
sucks. It sucks a whole lot. 13
» Lau Mehes
Currently the AMS's Sexual Assault
Support Centre (SASC) is running at
a reduced capacity. To put it simply,
this is completely unacceptable.
The support coordinator position is sitting vacant—a preventable situation, were it not for the
AMS administration's bureaucratic
What does this mean in terms of
services lost?
Well, SASC—which is normally
open from 9am to 5pm, Monday to
Friday (including holidays)—is now
only open to students 20 hours a
week, with only one employee.
They can no longer run their
weekly volunteer training program.
And while they still provide outreach and referrals to other services
in Vancouver, they can no longer
offer support. SASC is normally able
to offer a range of support services,
such as peer support—both in crisis
and ongoing—and hospital and police accompaniments for survivors
of assault who require assistance
in navigating both the medical and
judicial systems.
These services have been lost at
an absolutely vital time. According
to Women Against Violence Against
Women (WAVAW), young women
ages 15-24 are the most likely victims of sexual assault. The fact that
this demographic makes up a significant portion ofthe UBC population should be enough to prove the
importance of a fully functional
SASC on campus. If that doesn't
stress the importance enough,
consider the fact that, accordingto
Brown University, new students are
most vulnerable to sexual assault in
the first three months of university.
UBC's student population—not just
women, SASC serves people of all
genders—needs and deserves the
service that they are paying for to be
running at full capacity.
There maybe other support services in the city of Vancouver, but
for UBC students, especially new
students, these can be inaccessible.
The importance of an easily located,
central, on-campus support centre
with peer counseling and crisis support cannot be overstated.
That the AMS could so easily mismanage the hiring of a new support
coordinator shows that they should
be re-evaluatingtheir priorities, to
better provide students with the
services they need and deserve.
Student well-being should be
at the top ofthe list, and the AMS
should be doing everything in its
power to replace the support coordinator position and get SASC
running at full capacity again.
They should be keeping students
informed of how exactly they are
going about findingthe replacement, as their accountability and
transparency is already called into
question over their mismanagement
of this vital service.
As students, what should we be
doing to ensure that SASC remains a top priority for the AMS
Well, we need to hold them accountable. Keep emailing AMS
President Jeremy McElroy ntpresi-
dent@ams.ubc.ca and let him know
how important peer support is to
the work that SASC does. Demand a
concrete timeline as to when a new
support coordinator will be hired,
and hold him to it with emails and
discussions. Let's keep this conversation going, and let's get the vital
services that SASC offers functioning at full capacity once more. 13
Fire kills. So does stupidity.
Andrew Bates
In the summer of 2003, my home
town of Penticton was surrounded
by fire.
To the north, the Okanagan
Mountain Park blaze, started by a
lightning strike, was consuming
24,000 hectares of land and over two
hundred houses from South Kelowna
all the way to Naramata, a village on
the outskirts of town. To the south,
a brush fire in OK Falls was burning,
started by a stray cigarette thrown by
a motorist.
In the downtown area, we weren't
beingthreatened, but the fire was
real to us. We were ready. When you
live around trees and there is a forest
on fire, even ifyou're not in immediate danger, you go on high alert.
So the somewhat muted reaction
on campus to the Pacific Spirit Blaze
last week is baffling to me. The fire,
which sprung up last week at midnight and only burned three-quarters of a hectare, was not necessarily
a danger. Luckily, the wind didn't
push it up the cliff towards Totem
or down the beach towards MOA,
and with a strong response from fire
teams, there was never a real threat
that the campus would burn down
or anything.
But with the exception ofthe
Twitterverse—an easily excitable
bunch if there ever was one—students in Totem or otherwise seemed
indifferent to it. One Totem resident
compared the noise ofthe responder
teams fighting a fire 500 metres outside of her house to parties: "It's kind
of always loud over here, so it's just
kind of ignored."
It didn't feel, at the end, like it
was real to them. I don't know if
it's because the rain that forms the
backdrop of so many Vancouver jokes
usually prevents things from getting
as dry as they have recently, but UBC
students should take a forest fire
threat seriously.
This campus is surrounded on all
sides by a large, old-growth forest
with plenty of dead things in it that
would love to burn ifyou gave them
a chance. The lucky thing is that we
generally don't have to worry about
forest fires starting. We're not the
Okanagan, which will spring ablaze
ifyou leave it unattended for five
minutes in the summer.
But we are a heavy urban interface
zone. Ifyou look at the Village, it sits
literally right next to Pacific Spirit
Park. If that forest ever saw an inattentive smoker or a lightning strike in
the right weather conditions, those
people could be in serious danger.
It's like the danger of underwater
currents when you're swimming:
it may not bea regular danger, but
you have to be aware of it and you
have to respect it. Forest fires are
somewhat more serious than your
neighbours having a party. 13 Scene»
Pictures and words on your university experience
09.15.20111 11
Just plain pickled: handling your first week hangovers
Raeven is a former medical writer,
sex columnist and yoga instructor,
having recently returned to UBC as
a science student to tackle medical
school prerequisites and the mysteries
of existence. This column discusses
ideas, concepts and bits of mental
fluff about health and illness which
affect students and their ability to
tackle a degree while maintaining
wholeness of body, mind and heart.
As we're sliding into the second
week of school, many of us might
be battling a weekend's worth of
hangovers launched by the AMS
Welcome Back BBQ and its cheap
beer. If you're going for a week's
worth of binging, let me assure
you this is the time to do it before
reality sets in and you remember
you're actually at UBC to study.
To keep your marathon drinking afloat, stick to liquor and
carbonated water. It might be
more expensive, but it will keep
you going for longer than sweet
combinations would. Or if beer is
a-beckonin', only indulge in those
cheap bubbles every second day.
Sugar hangovers are what keep
you nauseously cuddled in the fetal
position, pondering regrettable—or
heroic—behavior from the previous
night. To be a first week binging
champion, you have to get out of
the house and exercise to getyour
circulation going, aerate those
throbbing brain vessels and generally avoid gaining weight from all
the sugar in your alcoholic bevies.
Also, fear not the early morning
vomit. If it's inevitable, head for
the porcelain bowl to abandon the
phlegm-covered bubbly bits from
the night before, then launch a
couple aspirin down your gullet
and prepare to rage.
To take care ofyour hangovers,
I've painfully tested a few theories
and here's what's worked over in
my camp. Sober up before going
to bed by staying up and drinking
water for at least two hours before
hitting the sack. Go for a jog right
after you get up and before you're
fully sober. Sleep. Hit up the aspirin, but not the Tylenol, because
the latter uses the same molecules
that degrade alcohol in the liver,
which overloads your body's capacity to detoxify your blood—which
is bad. Coconut and tomato juice
are wonderfully full of electrolytes
and less processed than Gatorade!
If you're a yogi, a practice with tons
of twists will massage your organs
and help you squeeze out the etha-
nol. And ifyou're feeling particularly brave, I've heard half a Caesar
and half a beer will get you under
control for the times ahead.
However, let me put on my Debbie
Downer shoes for just a second and
let you know that shriveling your
liver on the regular is pretty terrible
for your health. The actual limits are
fairly low; guys shouldn't be drinking more than ten beers a week or
two beers a day and ladies, no more
than seven beers a week or one and
a half beers a day. Also, hangover
helpers like water and tomato juice
don't actually do much for your liver,
they just replenish your body's vitamins and make it juicy once more
after the anti-diuretic properties of
alcohol have zapped away your fluids via excessive urination. Frizzled
livers aside, enjoy the lack of inhibition, hazy memories and maladroit
adventures ahead! 13
ONLY $60
For more information on this exclusive offer visit:
j Community Engagement
UBC is hosting a series of Community Conversations on the Community Engagement Strategic Plan.
at do you think
3:00 pm -4:30 pm
Lillooet Room
Irving K. Barber Learning Centre
September 15 - Community Engagement and Private Sector Partnei
September 20 - Defining Service in the case of Tenure and Promotio
September 22 - Public Policy as a form of Community Engagement
September 27 - Use of Campus Venues
September 29 - Staff Engagement
Vorking with non-profit and volunteer sector r


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