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The Ubyssey Jan 4, 2002

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 J5BC Aichi-rss Serial
Friday, January 4, 2002
Volume 83 Issue 26
Yatta! since 1918
A feel good
back issue!
5    *
17   .19
iU Oofe!
25 I Friday. January 4.2002
Pane Fridav-the Ubvssev Magazine
with mildly autistic fun loving boy.
Please call Cynthia at 827-0014.
Zeta Beta Tau is looking for men to start
a new Chapter. If you are interested in
academic success, a chance to network
and an opportunity to make friends in a
non-pledging Brotherhood, e-mail:
zbt@zbtnational.org or call 800-431-
MUSIC v^ncity.4isFUNCITY!f^B partyroom, Friday at Spriv
E Records co-founder and indie-rock superdude Calvin Johnson brings his band Dub Narcotic Sound System
up from Olympia, WA for an all ages show in the SUB PartyrOom. He dances crazy and sings real deep. The
show also features performances by NardWuar the Human Serviette's Evaporators, Operation Makeout andi
Thee Goblins, plus a zine fair andan art show.YY ;.'''YY7,': 7 ■'. 7:
Tickets are $8 in advance {available at.Zulii, Scratch and Nqize! Records) or $9 at the door.
7 FILM Ghost World playinc| at the Norm Theatre^ Friday to Sunday at 7pm.
Terry Zwigpffs critically acclaimed adaptation of Daniel Clowes'-comic is an occasionally cruel, often fanny
and always wry look at life after high school. Thora Birch and Scarlett Johansson star as best friends who revel
BI-CURIOUS? BB GAR Club Vancouver, Bathhouse for Bi and Gay Men. Private rooms, lockers, steam, showers,
snack bar, videos. Open 24/7. Students
Vi price all the time with valid student
ID. 339 W. Pender St. Vancouver's
friendliest 604-681-5719.
le plate
ahAi er
u(i $22-1654
er visit SUB
$eerr\ 23
1 Si
For more information, visit
Boi^igtinitiie^p I
[basement! or call 822-1654.
thriller. Mitchum is terrifying and the film, told mostly from the perspective of the children he is chasing,
has a nightmarish^ quality that is sure to stay with you. Enjoy!; -.-'■" 7Y :   ^;7*: Y^Y*
Tickets are $5 for students with membership 7 7 ■' 4-'4.y :/* ■
SPORTSi Women's Vblleybalfvs. Calgary at War Memorial Gym, Friday at
6:15pm arid Saturday at 8pm.
Enjoying a four-game winning streak and the return of middle blocker Kaley Boyd from the national team,, theY
••-. Birds are ready tn take on their toughest opponents in Canada West, the 10-0 Dittos, 4 Y Y ii--' 7
Men's Volleyball vs. Calgary al\Nar Memorial Gyrriv Friday at 8pm and
> After a terrible 1-9 record in 2001, the men's team desperately needs a win and the Birds have a good chance
%; this weekend against the 5-5 Dinos. Calgary is the only team meThirhderbirds have beaten this season.Y
$2 gets students into both the men's and women's games.     7. 7 7; Y
Ubyssey Publications Society
2002 board of Directors Elections
The Ubyssey Publications Society is the organisation responsible for publishing UBC's official student newspaper, The Ubyssey. Its membership consists of all UBC students who have not opted out of membership by
completing an opt-out form. Members are eligible to run for, and vote in, Board Elections.
The Board of Directors oversees the administrative and business aspects of the paper including advertising,
marketing, distribution, the budget and finances, meetings of the Society, and management of employees.
The Board is not, however, involved in the editorial aspects of the paper. The editorial policy and content of
the paper is determined by the editorial board of the paper, elected by the staff in March of each year. To
become a staff member, those interested need to contribute to three issues of The Ubyssey and attend regular
staff meetings in order to get voting rights and the right to run for an editorial position.
Term is February 2002 to February 2003. Directors attend approximately 20 Board Meetings through the year
in addition to serving on Board Committees. No previous experience with newspapers or the UPS is required.
The positions up for election are THE PRESIDENT and 4 DIRECTORS AT LARGE.
Nomination forms are available at the Ubyssey Business Office, SUB 23 (basement). Completed forms must
be returned by 4:00pm, Friday, January 11th, 2002.
Elections will be held in conjunction with the AMS elections January 21st to 25th, 2002.
For more information, contact Fernie Pereira at 822-6681. Pane Fridav-the Ubvssev Magazine
Friday. January C2(102
Football coach leaves
 by Scott Bardsiey
On December 13, when most of them were
still busy with exams, UBC's football players
woke up and found out that the man who
coached them for the past three seasons
wouldn't be returning for a fourth. Jay
Prepchuck, the head coach of the football
team, had made a difficult decision the night
before and announced his resignation.
Prepchuck, who coached football at
Windsor High School for 11 years and won
three provincial championships in his last
four years there before taking over at UBC,
said his decision to quit came from a desire
to be closer to his family. His busy schedule
as head coach at UBC left him little time to
spend with his two daughters, who attend
elementary school in North Vancouver,
Prepchuck's stint with the Thunderbirds
started well, but the team's fortunes have
steadily declined. In 1999, his first season,
the Birds made it all the way to the Canada
West final. But they dropped to fourth in the
playoffs the next year and in 2001, missed the
playoffs altogether.
His leave of absence from the North
Vancouver School Board and his three-year
contract with UBC
were both set to
expire this spring.
He is expected to
return to coaching
high school football.
UBC quarterback Zack Silverman said he understands Prepchuck's
decision and that,
after UBC's terrible
2-6 season in 2001,
a new outlook may
be best for the
"I think [Prepchuck] made a personal decision
based on his family
and I have to totally
respect that,"
Silverman said.
"As far as the
EXEUNT STAGE LEFT: Jay Prepchuck will no
longer coach the football team, ubyssey file photo
year we wouldn't have success, but maybe
a new coach
can bring something good to
the table that'll
help us."
"It's too bad
it ended up like
this, but you
have to look forward," said
receiver Dan
Lazzari. "It's an
opportunity to
start off clean
after the disappointing season
we just had and
maybe get
going next year
with the new
football team goes, maybe a change is appropriate anyway. We didn't have success last
year, and not to say that if he came back this
UBC Athletics is expected to hire a new
coach at the end of January. In the meantime, defensive coordinator Jerome Erdman
has assumed the role of interim head coach.
Speculation about a replacement began
shortly after Prepchuck's announcement of
resignation. University of Saskatchewan
coach Brian Towriss and ex-SFU wide
receiver Jacques Chapdelaine, currently a
CFL assistant in Calgary, are two of the
names being thrown around, but the most
likely candidate may be a more familiar
Dave Johnson coached the Thunderbirds
during the 1998 season. He resigned following a physical fight with his assistant at a
restaurant in the UBC village in March 1999.
Johnson is now the defensive co-coordinator
at the University of Calgary and is one of the
top candidates for the position at UBC.
"I have a great deal of respect for coach
Johnson," Silverman said. "Obviously there's
the unfortunate incident a few years ago, but
if anybody's grown and learned something,
it's him. I'd love to see him back."
Johnson told The Vancouver Sun that he
wants to be a head coach again and that
UBC is one of the few schools he would consider. He did not say whether he would
take the job currently available if it were
offered to him. ♦
Which teams are
—and not
by Scott Bardsiey and
Sarah Coochie
Some of the young men and
women on UBC's varsity sports
teams are poised for success,
while others are pretty well at
the bottom of the barrel, at least
right now. Here's a quick look
at how the currently competing
Thunderbirds are doing in the
middle of the season.
The Elite
Swimming j
No school has ever won five I
men's and women's national ,
championships in a row, but !
the Thunderbird swim team is I
set to do just that To date, |
coach Tom Johnson has been j
leading the team to another sue- :
cessful season, winning first ■
place for both the men's and   ,
women's teams at the College f
Cup in November. The T-Birds 1
boast top swimmers such as j
Olympians Brian Johns and j
Kelly Stefanyshyn: Johns won (
two events at FINA World Cup II '
last  November;   Stefanyshyn ;
won a silver at World Cup IV in J
Shanghai     last     December.
Barring the unlikely possibility
of these   athletes  becoming
complacent, the swimmers will
put on quite a show for students
as UBC hosts the CIS National
Championships during reading
week, from February 22-24.
The Leaders
Women's Volleyball (6-4)
Plagued by injuries, the women's
volleyball team started off its season
on a, disappointing note. Christine
Bonish, who led the team in kills last
season, is still out of action, but
things have turned around: the
women were on a four-match winning streak when play stopped for
the winter break and are now
ranked fourth nationally. 2002
brings the return of star player Kaley
"7 ,V
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1 the Week, and is
i he country for her
■I iccuracy. Returning
'!   s, the Birds fly to
1 ■   strength of a 5-3
women,  currently
itionally,  want  to
'i    at   the   National
■ '"iey'11 have to find a
■e the mighty SFU
!> 1 I a perfect 8-0 sea-
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On>3 of th3 jbo\e '.■> i.t-s tin.ts b.'t t»vo doii't.
1't supposed to work
'th players like cap-
■'n, whose kill stats
are seventh
nationally, the
men's volleyball
team has the raw
talent to win
games—lots of
games. But the
men stand at a
miserable 1-9,
and that record
won't help with
the team's
biggest problem:
Though it may
still be numerically possible for
the team make to
the playoffs, all
the team can really hope for now is
to save face.
Boyd, who spent the fall months
training with the national team. The
team is one of UBC's strongest postseason contenders, but the Birds are
up against some tough competition
from the Calgary Dinos, who are
ranked first nationally and boast a
perfect 10-0 record.
The Middle Ground
Men's Basketball (4-4)
The men's basketball team is a
solid group. Kyle Russell leads the
team and is fifth nationally in scoring. 2002 brings a new starting
point guard: J.L. Crowe graduate
Paul Naka. But, like the women's
volleyball team, the men's basketball Birds face tough competition.
They'll have to beat SFU (7-1) to
make it out of the Pacific division,
and then they'll have to contend
with Alberta (9-1) and Brandon (7-1).
Women's Basketball (5-3)
Although the worilen's basketball
team just spent a sunny week in Cuba
over the Christinas holidays, the season hasn't been all sunshine. After
losing the season opener to 3 feisty
Trinity Western squad, the Birds successfully beat their longtime rivals
from Victoria and went headlong into
battle with SFU. Despite losing two
games to the imposing Clan, and
falling suddenly to eighth place in the
CIS national rankings, the women's
team bounced back to end the year
on a four-game winning streak, highlighted by standout performances
from veterans Charmene Adams and
Men's Ice Hockey (2-8-4)
Expectations this season for the
men's hockey team weren't very high
and compared to where the team was
lastyear (1-11-2), the Thunderbirds
are doing better. But with only two
wins in 14 games, the team is set to
stay out of the post-season. Their road
record is especially atrocious—it
stands at a pathetic 0-6-2.
Women's Ice Hockey (0-6)
0-6. Ouch. ♦ r"
4 Friday, January 4.2002
Page Friday-the Ubyssey Magazine
Friday. January 4.2fflfe'f g
y|;^W. ,• %%
.Lord of the Weak jllmj
at theatres everywhere
by Nic Fensom
I've been thinking a lot lately about how unbelievably weak Lord of the Rings was, or is, or
whatever. Basically, you're iri the theatre for
three hours, watching nothing but the same thing
happening over and over.
Like, at first Frodo is like, "Why do I have the
ring? I don't understand. What is the point?" and
then lhe wizard is like, "You must, Frodo," and
then Frodo is like, "Yeah, okay," so they go off for,
like, ten minutes on this trail through the woods,
or ice, or caves, or whatever, and then the dumb-
ass hobbit makes some noise and then millions
of demons or whatever show up. And then the
bunch of them manage to kill off the millions of
demons!? Yeah right! They should have been
dead like 20 minutes in.
Then after they kill off the millions of demons,
Frodo is like, "What is the point? I can't do tbjs
and blah blah," and then the wizard talks to him
again and then Frodo decides, "Yes, this is okay
after all. I will do it," and then they continue
along and then more demons come. It's just an
endless cycle.
And then like three hours have passed and it
shows him and the hobbit preparing for a tandem journey to the next place. And then the
movie ends? Nothing was resolved. Weeeaaaak.
Also, the wizard was in jail atop that tower and
he called in some big bird to fly him to freedom.
So why didn't he call the big bird back to fly them
all around, instead of getting crippled by this
other shit, walking? They could have just as easily flown to the demon lair pad in, like, 17 minutes. Maybe throw in a wind storm to spice
things up or some demon birds to rough them
up, but that's it If the producers had done that,
the film would have been a clean 36 minutes,
Also, did you notice that they would just sit
around and talk in the middle of some sketchy
pinner bridge where they could easily fall to their
deaths. So they just sit there even when it's totally obvious that something is going to come along
and try to rock them. And then—what a surprise—
they are under attack and the bridge starts cracking and falling apart! And where are they again?
In the middle of the sketch bridge I! And it is only
when the bridge starts really breaking that one of
them says, "Ruuuuun, you fools!" What's up with
that? like, they're still taking their time, chillin'
on the bridge while this is all going on Shit
If they had their conversation after they got off
the sketch-ass bridge, the wizard wouldn't have
died. But that's not really important because he
probably didn't really die anyway. He'll come
back somehow. Wizards always come back.
And another thing: is anyone else a little concerned that a movie with an almost exclusively
male cast portrays evil as a giant fiery vulva?
Forget about demons, it's flaming vaginas that
have these guys terrified. ♦
at theatres everywhere
by Ron Nurwisah
Director Wes Anderson and writing partner
Owen Wilson write the best characters.
Remember plucky and precocious genius
Max Fisher from Rushmore and the emotionally stunted millionaire Herman Blume, or
the thieves Dignan and Anthony from Bottle
The Royal Tenenbaums, Anderson and
Wilson's latest project, continues this fine tradition. At the film's start, we are introduced
to the Tenenbaum clan, a highly dysfunctional family with three highly gifted children
whose talents are sadly wasted, exploited by
the children's father. Royal Tenenbaum.
As adults, these three bright children are
tormented and disturbed. Financial wonder-
child Chas is a nervous widower, obsessed
with the safety of his two sons. Tennis star
Richie wanders the seas aboard a freighter
after a career-ending nervous breakdown.
Adopted sister Margot, an award-winning
playwright, hasn't written a play in years and
etween ■jj^jiJus
at theatres everywhere
by Greg Ursic
My university roommate 'Tom' was a genius, a gangly 17-year-old
with a photographic memory, a penchant for missing classes and a
flawless mastery of several different musical instruments. As the
axiom says, however, there is a fine line between genius and insanity.
I soon learned that Tom was prone to fits of manic self-destruction
and substance abuse. The last I heard, he was doing freelance work
for Rolling Stone, had been published in several well-known literary
magazines, was dabbling in heroin and was undergoing heavy
Mathematician John Nash was another troubled genius. His findings shook the foundations of economics and earned him a Nobel
prize. Amazingly he did this while struggling with paranoid schizophrenia. The success of A Beautiful Mind ultimately rests on Russell
Crowe's ability to capture Nash's tortuous journey.
While studying at Princeton, John Nash is recruited to work for the
US Department of Defence, where he becomes enmeshed in a shadowy netherworld of spies and conspiracies, losing touch with those
around him arid also losing his grip on sanity.
Crowe is riveting. The harder Nash struggles to crack the cosmo-
logical code, the weaker his grip on reality becomes
and Crowe captures this masterfully. He balances
Nash's quirky brilliance and pathos as he danci-s
between reality and insanity. Crowe pulls the viewer
into this crumbling world and avoids becoming the
stereotypical slobbering 'madman.'
Jennifer Connelly is lyrically beautiful as Nash's v 'Se
Alicia. The beginning of their relationship seem dubious
but she leaves the viewer with no doubt that Alicia is
Nash's only link to the real world and that without her, he
would probably be languishing in a medicated stupor in
some asylum. Connelly gives Alicia a soul, wringing ever)
thjng she can from a tragically weak script that does h« r
arid her role a disservice.
While the acting and direction in the film is exception ■'
more attention should have been paid to the editing and p ■
ing. Several sections lag unnecessarily, notably the scei   ■>
exploring Nash's madness. They could have been cut dc ■.
without lessening the impact In addition, Crowe's ace- "I
which is hard to peg, slips a few times. The biggest proble: l
the marketing: the trailers are deceiving, leading viewei -
believe the film is a cloak-and-dagger thriller when it
much more, one of those rare films that will appeal to   ■
casual moviegoers and cinema fans ajike. ♦
,      ...       *      I*,.-*/"
*S * ' •1- .'iV * - fats   . • '***
The worth of a ol •;
byAlberto Manguel
[Knopf Canada]
Alberto Manguel writes big books. Not thick
books with lots of pages, but books with big
ideas. The titles say it all: A History of
Reading The Dictionary of Imaginary Places
and his latest, Reading Pictures: A History of
Love Bind Hate.
Astonishingly, Manguel's books manage
to avoid hubris, winnning him numerous
awards and critical acclaim. In his latest bool^
Reading Pictures, which was nominated for
the Governor General's Award for non-fiction, Manguel turns his sights to the world of
art, looking at 12 different images—from
Picasso's "Weeping Woman* to a mural of a
battle fought by Alexander the Great.
He looks past the superficial, examining
each piece as a reader of pictures, looking for
the subtext, the stories, the meaning behind
the work, much like a literary critic would
pick apart a novel. It is an often tricky
approach but Manguel gets by through sheer
force of intellect and a flair for crafting great
In a typical Manguel essay, readers don't
know where they'll end up. Take the book's
first chapter on Van Gogh's "Shipping Boats
on the Beach at Saintes-Maries" as an example. Before the essay is over, Manguel will
mention Plato, William Blake, the English art
critic John Ruskin, Gothic cathedrals and
Manguel's own childhood mentor, Jorge Luis
Borges. This is just in one essay; imagine
what it is like reading 11 more chapters.
To the uninitiated, it sounds daunting, but
Manguel can also spin a good tale, a quality
that makes all Ms facts and references enjoyable.
His chapter on the Brazilian sculptor
Aleijadinho is a good example. Aleijadinho
suffers from the painful condition of porphyria as well as leprosy. Manguel paihfs an
amazing picture of the artist and his subversion of the Christian images Aleijadinho was
commissioned to carve.
Or read Manguel's harrowing account of
the operatic life of Carravagio, one of 17th-
centuiy Europe's most famous artists and
also a wanted man. To Manguel * ■ . ! I ■
genius of many of these artists—Carravagio,
Picasso, Aleijadinho and others—shines
through brightly.
Manguel's beacon-like intellect can be
clearly seen in Reading Pictures. The chapter
titles in the book are simply audacious: "The
Image as Understanding," "The Image as
Philosophy," "The Image as Memory." But he
doesn't let us down, and each is crammed full
of ideas, keen insights and, most importantly,
unanswered questions.
Criticising this book's shortcomings is difficult, because Manguel has already done so;
Manguel himself admits that this book
ignores the rich traditions of Islamic art, not
to mention those of Asian, Africa and countless other societies.
I would love to read Manguel's insights
into pornography, graffiti art, advertising,
and dozens of other manifestations of the
visual in our lives. Can all of this be fodder
for Manguel's next book? We can only
hope so. ♦
-Ron Nurwisah
is in a loveless marriage with a stuffy psychologist. The Tenenbaum family, it would
seem, has been scattered to the wind until
Royal returns to the family he has not seen in
years and announces he is dying of cancer.
The family soon finds itself reunited as Royal
tries to make up for the years of neglect and
pain he inflicted.
Wilson and Anderson have lovingly created the characters in The Royal Tenenbaums.
The washed-up trio of geniuses is charmingly
unique. Gwyneth Paltrow's Margot, for example, has hidden a smoking habit for 22 years,
wears a wooden finger and had a week-long
marriage to a Jamaican pop star. Danny
Glover, who plays the accountant/love interest of Etheline Tenenbaum, the children's
mother, is dapper enough to resemble a cool
Kofi Annan.
The characters are also where the film's
weaknesses can be found. Ben Stiller's portrayal of Chas, the angry son, is about as subtle as his red Adidas tracksuit, while
Paltrow's sullen, suffering Margot isn't very
convincing or different from the seini-tragic
characters she plays in other films.
The jokes, too, aren't always as subtle as
they could be. The recurring run-down
'Gypsy Cabs,' the scampering Dalmatian
mice littering the Tenenbaum home and
Chas's morose dog should be hilarious, but-
director Wes Anderson hits us with them
repeatedly to make sure we get the jokes.
The subtle humour that littered Rushmore
isn't present here. Charm should be something that comes naturally. When forced it
just feels artificial.
Fortunately, Gene Hackman's portrayal of
Royal Tenenbaum doesn't have this problem.
The scheming, amoral Tenenbaum patriarch
is a delicious character that Hackman plays
perfectly. His exchanges with the film's other
characters are some of the film's best
scenes—unforced and freewheeling. It is in
these moments that we. see this film's true
The Royal Tenenbaums is a good film but
doesn't have the ingrained qualities that
great films seem to have. The film at times is
self-indulgent in its eccentricity and heavy-
handed in its charm. These are not critical
flaws, but they're just enough to prevent full
enjoyment of this otherwise funny and
rich film. ♦
V f
*  f
"i '' *      ' '"'
3 m
Sad Dre jit is
t3a\Je Axe Records]
lrom thSTrndtergroundTtito the CD collection of
youraverage west coast teenager. Listening to
the group's latest album. Bad Dreams, it is obvious that the Swollen Members have left their
original sound in favour of a more mainstream, ■
radio-friendly album. The Swollen Members
were better off where they were, because this
album, Bad Dreams, is weak.    -
Swollen Members' frontmen, Mad Child and
Prevail, sesst as though tbey are trying to prove
shemselves worthy of the rap game by stooping -
to the level of mainstream rap artists who don't
rhyme about anything else but how sweet they
are. And the Swollen Members go off on themselves, track after track. Earlier works, like their
debut album Balance, proved the Swollen
Members' incredible talent and originality. With -
Bad Dreams, all of that rawness and honesty is
lost ~ =';. '
Track after track; this album sounds just like
any other generic over-produced hip hop album.
Well, except for the track "Deep End/ but it was
previously released on a compilation- Swollen
Members did* a few years ago. Battle Axe
Records Various Artists. "Deep End* is a great
track with some of the best beats and rhythms'
you will ever hear, but the Swollen Members
made a weak move by re-releasing it on their Iat~ .
est album, instead of putting something new in -
its place. '       ' '
The rest of the Swollen Members album is littered with their usual Dungeons and Dragons-
style mythology. However, the warlocks and
demons are starting to~ wear a little thin..-
"Camouflage" {also previously released) is a nice '
example of them in full flow, with som6 extra
nice-cuts ,from DJ Revolution (a£ always):.
However, there's not much that we haven't
heard before or would want to hear again.
The new single, 'Fuel Injected/ was first
introduced to me while listening to 295.3 fM in
my friend's car. {I never listen to Z.) If Z9 5.3 fM -
is playing &s Swollen Members then you know
'hey'ye reached a pathetic level of mainstream
popularity. Now all those clueless people can
rush' out and buy the CD. Why not pick up
Jessica Simpson while you're at it? This single
isn't even anything special, considering it's just
Mad Child and Prevail rhyming over a DJ
Shadow sample. Weak, I say.
If there is one thing positive to say about the.
Swollen Members, it's that they put on a tight
live show. Be sure to check them out as they now
open for Nelly Furtado in Vancouver on January
29, How ridiculous is that?! was afraid something like'thiswould happen. It's an afl-toicKiom- ■
moii fate for rising talent This latest gig, with,
Furtado pnly proves that the Swollen Members
have quickly sunk to the bottom^ You got to sell
out t j paL out ♦
-Nic Feisom Friday. January 4.2002
Page Fridav-the Ubyssey Magazine
Duncan M. McHugh
Ai Lin Choo
Sarah MacNeill Morrison
Ron Nurwisah
Scott Bardsiey
Julia Christensen
Laura Blue
Nic Fensom
Hywel Tuscano
Graeme Worthy
Alicia MiUer
The Ubyssey is_ ihe official student newspaper of the
University of British Columbia It is published every
Tuesday and Friday by The Ubyssey Publications Society.
We are an autonomous, democratically run student organisation, and all students are encouraged to participate.
Editorials are chosen and written by the Ubyssey staff.
They are the expressed opinion of the staff, and do not
necessan'ly reflect the views of The Ubyssey Publications
Society or ihe University of British Columbia.
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Press (CUP) and adheres to CUFs guiding principles.
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of The Ubyssey Publications Society,
letters to the editor must be under 300 words. Please
include your phone number, student number and signature
(not for publication) as well as your year and faculty with all
submissions. (D will be checked when submissions are
dropped off at the editorial office of The Ubyssey, otherwise verification wil! be done by phone.
"Perspectives" are opinion pieces over 300 words but
under 750 words and are run according to space.   ~
"Freestyles" are opinion pieces written by Ubyssey staff
members. Priority wil! be given to letters and perspectives
over freestyles unless the latter is time sensitive. Opinion
pieces wiB not be run until the identity of the writer has
bgen verified; ■ "
H is agreed by all persons placing display or classified
advertising that if the Ubyssey Publications Society fails to
publish an advertisement or if an error in the ad occurs the
liability of the UPS will riot be greater than the price paid
for ihe ad. The UPS shall not be responsible for slight
changes or typographical errors that do not lessen the
value or the Impact of the ad.
"    Room 24, Student Union Building,
6138 Student Union Boulevard,
Vancouver, BC. V6T 1Z1
tel: (604) 822-2301
fcx: (604) 822-9279
web: www.ubyssey.bc.ca
email: feedback@ubysssy.bc.ca
Room 23, Student Union Building
advertising: (604) 622-1654
business office: (604) 822-6681
email: advertising@ubyssey.bc.ca
Fernie Pereira
Karen Leung
Shalene Takara
Tffi late,' screamed Sarah MacNeill Morrison. It was 9:30am on
Ihursday, January 3, and she was very late for the first day of class.
She ran out of her apartment and there was Ai Lin Choo and Laura
Blue waiting. "Where were you?" they screamed. "We have to go or
Duncan McHugh and Julia Christensen wul kill usi' The trio panicked and turned around to see none other than Eon Nurwisah and
Graeme Worthy fighting each other with giant plastic swords while
hobbits Greg Ursic and Scott Bardsiey and a very wizardry EmUy
Chan dialled about how nice the weather was. 'Something's not
right' Sarah said as she ran away. All of a sudden she saw Nic
Fensom and Hywel Itocano crossing a very sket[3i bridge. "RUn,
yon fools,' Fensom said. Sarah did just thai She ran and ran and
ran until finally she got to the Ubyssgy offices where she bumped
into Sarah Conchie and Helen Eady. "We're a 22-page paper today
and we have no copy.' they said to her. "What? lhat can't be right
It's all a hod dreamt" And Ibat's wben she woke up.-
Canada Port Sous AflTMniMit Hunuwr 0732141
Well, we have officially rung in the new year. It's
2002. And you know what that means? You can
finally use that calendar from 1991 again! Just
write 2002 overtop of all the 1991s and paste
photos of your current fave music group on top
of all the photos of Paula Abdul or Boyz II Men.
Now you're all set for the next 12 months, and
you didn't have to spend a cent!
No, wait A calendar can only prepare you for
so much. To be truly ready for the new year, you
need to familiarise jwirself with the Ubyssey's
predictions for 2002. We have consulted our on-
staff psychics for'detailed predictions of the days
to come in this brand new year. Here's what's
ahead in the year to come:
-After years of work, UBC students finally get a
cheap universal bus pass. Knock on wood.
-Students saving money on transit will instead
spend their cash on higher-priced English 112
classes after the tuition freeze is, well, thawed.
Gordon Campbell's office, look out!
-Brown—the new orange. Be a fashion 'do' and
invest in a few key brown pieces to bring your
2002 wardrobe iip to date.
-Brad and Jen? Splitsville. Oh come on, as if you
weren't getting sick of seeing their sticky-
sweet, smiling mugs all over every magazine at
the grocery store.
-Lights out for Bob Hope and the Pope. Phew!
Now you can stop white-knuckling the arms of
your chair every time you watch either of them
teeter across the TV screen.
* * ?:        f   -:!  -
-Tom Cruise? So gay!
-2002 chic? Everything lesbian.      ■ ■ «•  -
-Nuclear war is narrowly avoided. We hope.
-The National Post It just gets worse, if it doesn't
fold. Not to mention the Asper's obscene policy
of forcing their papers across the country to run
national editorials. We predict revolt.
-The new Star Wars film? Thumbs down! The
Ubyssey has received word that *NSYNC is to
cameo in the new flick—and they won't be disguised as Ewoks either. George Lucas, what
were you ihinking? Count us out.
-Vancity is Funcity, held on January . in the SUB
Ballroom and sponsored by the Ubyssey and
CiTR, is the coolest concert...EVER!!
fe    .■ i yL
-UBC men's and women's swim teams both win
their fifth National Championship in a row.
^ -
-Dogs out, ferrets in. Those crazy weasels take
the coveted spot as 'Man's Best Friend' in 2002.
-After the introduction of their 'first-job' wage,
the BC Liberals take the exploitation of young
workers further and start providing tax cuts to
businesses using child labour.
-The Liberals take our satire seriously and our
above prediction becomes government policy.
Gordon Campbell's heart is officially measured
at two sizes too small.
-Bubble tea? So 2001. Hip '02ers go vintage and
drink milk.
-Osama bin Laden: out of the cave, on to the talk-
show circuit!
-StockweU's second run for the leadership of the
Canadian Alliance is as amusing as past Day disasters, although not as novel. More fun than a
politician in a wetsuit!
-Prime Minister Jean Chretien announces his
plan not to retire after his current term, saying
something about not wanting anyone to wreck
the comfortable'groove! he has molded into his
chair in the parliament.
-Still experimenting with facial hair, Al Gore
grows a handlebar mustache.
■ **».
-A new Alma Mater Society executive is elected
early this year. No one notices.
-After an experiment by third-year biochemistry students goes wrong, UBC's administration is overthrown by gigantic, hyper-intelligent
squirrels. ♦
BC's teachers: A
voice for children
Who speaks for the children? I have
heard this asked by parents upset
about cancelled Christmas concerts. Good question! Have parents
bothered to inform themselves
about the issues that would cause
teachers to make such a difficult
decision? Or are they content to
believe that the current dispute is
simply about teachers' salaries?
Have they written in protest
that in some districts, elementary
school counsellors have already
been cut back and; will be cut further if the proposed contract is
accepted? Have they voiced their
opposition to reductions in services and support personnel to special-needs students? Do they
realise all children will be affected
if the employer removes caps on
the number of special-needs chil
dren per classroom? Have they
spoken out about the fact that in
many districts an elementaiy
Learning Assistance Teacher {LAT)
is hired part-time for a school of
over 400 students? The union
would see one full-time LAT to 200
elementary students, while the
employer wants to remove all guaranteed ratios for all specialist support teachers. Finally, have they
asked why, if teaching is such a
cushy job, 40 per cent of new graduates leave the profession within
their first five years?
I am reluctant to strike about
money, but I will shut schools and
take to the streets before I allow this
government to take away 'essential
services* to the most vulnerable
children in our system. Who speaks
for the children? I do! With all of my
teaching colleagues! We look
beyond missed Christmas concerts
or volleyball games to issues that
will affect children for life.
In any strike there are inconveniences and I am sorry for that. But
perhaps if parents joined our voices
and spoke out against these claw
backs, this dispute could be settled
quickly and we could concentrate
on doing what we love: providing
the best educational opportunities
possible for all children.
—Linda Chamberlayne
1977 UBC Education grad
Special Education Teacher
Kelowna BC
Poppy prowess
On behalf of the executive and
members of West Point Grey
Branch 142 of the Royal Canadian
Legion, I would like to express sincere thanks to all the students who
helped make our recent Poppy
Campaign a complete success.
Our member, Evan Minty, who
is also a UBC student, organised the
boxes for the residences and also
arranged for our room at the
Student Union Building and parking passes for our members. Also a
big thank you to the ICON Imaging
Concept Group who in between
classes went out canvassing around
the campus.
The senior members of our
branch who have done the canvass-
• ing at UBC since it began are now
getting beyond it even though we
had a number of our 70- and 80-
years-'young' assisting.
Once again, our hearty thank
you to the faculty and students for
their help. Drop in and say hello
and join in our events.
—M. Helen Crowe
Poppy Campaign Coordinator
The Royal Canadian Legion
West Point Grey Branch Page Fridav-the Ubvssev Magazine
Friday. January 4.2002
The Ubys
Help us help you. Give
sey Readers' Survey
the Ubyssey some feedback and make us a better paper.
Please complete this questionnaire and return it to the
Ubyssey offices in one of the following ways:
1. Mail it to us. Our mailing address is as follows:
Room 24
Student Union Building
■■■:, 6138 SUB Blvd.
Vancouver, BC V6T1Z1 \
2. Bring it to the office. We're in the basement of the SUB,
behind the arcade.
3. E-mail us: This survey will be available on our-website.
Just fill it in and mail it to FEEDBACK@UBYSSEY.BC.CA
Which section of the paper do you read?
(1 being never, S being always)
Would you like to see more national news coverage?
yes or no
Rate the attractiveness of the paper
(1 being ugly, S being gorgeous)
12 3 4 5
Rate the attractiveness and effectiveness of the photos
(1 being ugly and totally ineffective, 5 being gorgeous and
very effective)
1 2 3 4 5
How can the design of the paper be improved?
Do you like the full-page graphic cover for the Page Friday?
How would you
(1 being poor, S
1             2             3            4
rate the quality of each section ?
being excellent)
12             3             4
1             2             3             4
1             2             3 '          4
5  "
Did you know the Ubyssey and Page Friday are the same
yes or no
Which edition of the Ubyssey do you pick up more often?
Tuesday or Friday
Where do you pick up the Ubyssey?
How could our letters sectipn better represent the university
Do our editorials adequately represent the university
How could we improve our editorials?
Do you support boycotting advertising from the following
types of companies or organisations:
boycott tobacco ads yes or no
boycott military ads yes or no
boycott CSIS ads yes or no
boycott hard alcohol ads yes or no
boycott oil company ads yes or no
boycott escort/bathhouse ads yes or no
boycott pro-choice, anti-abortion ads yes or no
Is there other advertising you would not want to see in
the Ubyssey?
Thank you. Feel free to add any additional comments.
Where is our coverage lacking?
Where is our coverage superfluous?
What aspect of the paper do you particularly enjoy?
What aspect of the paper do you particularly dislike?
Where would you like to pick up the Ubyssey?
Do you use our website?
yes or no
How could we improve our website?
Include your name and e-mail address (on a separate piece
of paper, if you prefer) and you'll be entered into a prize
draw to take place on Jan. 16. Prizes include books, CDs and
movie passes. ♦
Ifei t^ it
^lunteer fc
culture meetings tuesdays* 11:.-; 30pm
news meetings tuesdays, 12:30pm
staff meetings wedn
or stop by the officeT-rodrtiY 24 in the
sub (b^
Tuition fee payments
will be handled by the
HSBC bank. You will
no longer be able to
make tuition fee
payments at any
branches of the Bank
HSBC is now the
bank for tuition
fee payments
Effective 1 December 2001, UBC has changed
banks. Tuition fee payments will be handled by the
HSBC bank. You will no longer be able to make
tuition fee payments at any branches of the Bank of
Montreal. All other methods of tuition fee payment
will remain the same.To get more information on
this change, or to review the other methods of
payment, you should go to the following website:
If you want to know what fees you owe/you can
view this information online. Go to students.ubcca,
link to the Student Service Centre and log in with
your student number and PIN. Select "Fees" from
the Financial Account menu. If you have any questions about your fee status, please call Enrolment
Services at 604-822-2844. ■ —1     .1 _ J   „J . ...J ,  J _.J :.i _..i ..j „j tai _;j ,._j  _j „ j ..j _j      j      j Q1..J _;, _   !    j .j-,       ,       ,     j       f      ,       ,      j „j _ I :_j „. _
—I .—X —I —I 2ZS E=3 Li3 ^1
U j
THE UBYSSEY and   CiTR   101.9fM present
K recording artists from Olympia, WA, USA       j
and on the local tip
The Evaporators
Operation Makeout
Thee Goblins
/ + due fair + art show
J.+ 5pm free screening of
K Records documentary,
The Shield Around the 1
* *   V-
\    1
Bjjjti Friday,
Jan. 4th, 2002
SUB 'Part room    7
tix $8 adv (@ Zulu, Scratch and
Noize! Records) / $9 at door
'.f •
J"*   ,       JH
iZM E3 E3 EE3 CEJ EZ3 EZ1 E3 E3J E21 IKi ECii 123
f     • ^   fc'-Y.j, J   K      il   f i".--!    i ■ - ■■ '.p   '"■•'■■ -   m   [. 7VW   ''" " i ™   --ir-1■•■■   tr" vn#   *   ■ " »   ^-—'"-"^   '•v- **■   ■ '-^."M   iajj- ^Jw   [*.,ri"-,J   L.iJi.;w   L.-T./-J.I   r-.. -. ■   l^-V.aW   t.i...*JB   Lr.'.ji'J   '■   i'-' J   fr* L^i.iJi


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