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Array ■ Celebrating 90 years!
NEW THIS YEAR
THIS GUY POLE DANCING
Uc
The Ubyssey
September 2,2008 \ www.ubyssey.ca
making love in the afternoon since 1918 \ volume xc, number 1
UBC's official student newspaper is published Tuesdays and Thursdays
THE FIRST-YEAR ISSUE THE UBYSSEY    WWW.UBYSSEY.CA
SEPTEMBER 2, 2008
Events
If you have an event, e-mail us atfeedback@ubyssey.ca
Ongoing
SMOKADELIC SATURDAYS • The
Vancouver Seed Bank & Tokers
Lounge hosts parties on the last
Saturday of each month from
noon to 8pm. Includes a bong-hitting contest, weedy raffles, and a
marijuana magic show • Vancouver Seed Bank (872 E. Hastings).
Tickets $5, info 778-329-1930,
www.vancouverseedbank.ca •
September 2
IMAGINE MAIN EVENT CARNIVAL
• Students, Faculty & Staff are
all invited to attend the Main
Event Carnival taking place in and
around Koerner Plaza on Tuesday,
September 2, 2008. Music, live entertainment, food, games, prizes,
and unlimited information about
student services and clubs - all of
this and more can be found at the
Main Event Carnival! It is the perfect end to the first day of classes
and a fun start to your academic
year at UBC! • www.students.
ubc. ca/newtoubc/orientations.
cfm?page=imagine&view=day •
FIRSTWEEK PRESENTS "UBC IMPROV VIGOURIZES VANIER" • You
are invited to the first show of the
year from the legendary UBC Improv Team. It's a fun-filled evening
of wild improvisational comedy
sure to induce side-splitting laughter. The beauty of improv is that
you never know what is going to
happen until you get there. Don't
be the only one on your floor to
miss this must-see show! • Come
to the Place Vanier Ballroom at
7pm on Tuesday, September 2nd.
Bring $3 or you can get in free
with one of those handy dandy
Firstweek wristbands, www.ubcim-
prov.com •
September 3
JUNO -WELCOME BACK FREE
SCREENING • The UBC Film Society presents JUNO as its annual
"Welcome Back FREE screening!"
All are welcome! • Doors open
at 6:45pm and close at 7:15pm.
Sept 3-7 Norm Theatre in the SUB
www. ams. ubc. ca/clubs/filmsoc •
UBC IMPROV TANTALIZES TOTEM
• Did you miss the Vanier show?
Or was it so so good that you
want more? Well you're in luck.
UBC Improv returns, this time to
rock the house in Totem Park
Tuesday was just a warm up;
this show is guaranteed to have
twice the laughter and triple the
zaniness. Experience UBC Improv,
everyone is doing it. Come to
the Totem Park Ballroom at 7pm-
9pm, Wednesday, September
3rd. Only $3 or free with one of
the stylish and practical Firstweek
wristbands. Bring a friend, or
two, or your whole floor! •
www.ubcimprov.com •
BOOKXCHANGE • Come to the
Abdul Ladha Science Student
Centre in the first week of school
to buy or sell your books with
other students. We will provide
you with the opportunity to trade
your books with other students at
competitive prices. We'll provide
price lists for all science courses
and first-year electives from both
the UBC Bookstore and Discount
Bookstore. • Wednesday, September 3 from 10am-2pm, Thursday,
September 4 from 10am-2pm
http://www.sus.ubc.ca •
IFC BAR PARTY AT CAPRICE • Wei
come back party for UBC Fraternities and Sororities. 5 dollars for
the partybus there, no cover, no
ine guaranteed with your ticket
till 11:30pm. $3 dollar highballs as
well as $4.75 Heinekens. • Contact Duncan at 604.613.0181 or
Azim at 778.240.1397 for tickets
September 3, 2008 http://www.
ubcfrats.ca UBC geography students Laura Rivere and Hannah Epperson pose for the curious crowd
as they take part in the World
Naked Bike Ride 2008. Held in
June earlier this summer, a group
of over 100 cyclists gathered at
Sunset Beach to experience the
joy of being exposed as well as to
participate in the world's largest
naked protest against oil dependency and car culture*
FIRST PIT NIGHT WOOOO • The
first pit night is always a debauchery of drunken shananigans. Arrive
early to get in • located at the Pit
In the SUB •
VANCOUVER INTERNATIONAL
FRINGE FESTIVAL • Opening night
gala including a raffle and silent
auction • Sept. 3-14, 7pm. Granville Island stage (1585 Johnston
st). Buy tickets at www.vancouver-
fringe.com •
September 4
DEFINING SUCCESS IN AFGHANISTAN - PERSPECTIVES FROM THE
CANADIAN AMBASSADOR ARIF Z.
LALANI • Ambassador Lalani will
share his insights on the current
situation and review the evolution
of Canada's role in Afghanistan,
ncluding a focus on six key priorities designed to help Afghans
rebuild their state. He will then
discuss what to look forward to
in coming months from Canada's
perspective as one of the leading
contributors to the rebuilding of
Afghanistan. • September4, 2008
I2:30pm-2:00pm Choi Building,
Room 120. •
September 5
25TH ANNUAL WELCOME BACK
BBQ • Come out and see all those
people you've missed over the
summer. Free for students. Food
and alcohol will be served • www.
ams.ubc.ca •
September 6
UBC FARM MARKET • The Centre
for Sustainable Food Systems
at UBC Farm is a student-driven
nitiative to retain and re-create
24 hectares of existing farm
and forest lands at UBC into an
nternational centre for sustainable agriculture, forestry and food
systems. We also host community
events on market days throughout
the summer, featuring bee tours,
blackberry picking and fun activities for kids and families. • September 6, 2008 9:00am- 1:00pm.
www.landfood.ubc.ca/ubcfarm •
UBC HOMECOMING • To end off
the whirlwind of Firstweek, UBC
is bringing back the incredible celebration that is Homecoming. This
is a chance for new and current
students, staff, alumni, residents,
and community members to come
together for an afternoon of excitement at Thunderbird Stadium
• September 6, 2008 12:00pm-
4:30pm UBC Students: $2 (or FREE
with a Firstweek wristband) •
Seotember
VANCOUVER COMICON • Fea
turing Steve Leialoha, regular
contributor to Marvel Comics,
ncluding Star Wars, Howard the
Duck, and Fables; Dark Horse
Comics editor Diana Schutz, and
many more. • Sept. 7, 11am- pm,
Heritage Hall (3102 Main). Tickets
$3, kids under 14 free, info 604-
322-6412. •
September 9
IFC 1ST RUSH • Come out and
experience what the fraternities
are about at UBC. Located at the
Greek village at 2880 Wesbrook
Mall, come out and check out
what each house has to offer.
Free. • September 9, 2008 www.
ubcfrats.ca •
September 14
LIVESTOCK BLOCK PARTY • Al
day, all ages BBQ catered by Guu,
featuring Gman & Rizk, freshjike
b-boy contest, ramp contest
along with DJs Keyes N Krates,
Jr.Flo, Hedspin, Pump, Rico,
My!Gay!Husband! and more. •
Sept 14, I-7pm, Livestock (239
Abbott St.). Free admission. •
TERRY FOX RUN • The 28th an
nual 10-kilometre run takes place
throughout the Lower Mainland
• No pre-registration required;
registration is free. Show up 30
minutes before the run starts in or
der to participate. Sept. 14, 2008.
Various locations. Free. www.
terryfoxrun.org*
September 15
IFC 2ND RUSH • If you missed first
rush, come out and experience the
fraternity village in UBC. Located
at the Greek village at 2880 Wesbrook Mall, come out and check
out what each house has to offer.
Free. • September 15, 2008 www.
ubcfrats.ca •
September 17
COMMON/N.E.R.D. • Grammy
nominated hip-hop artist in a
double bill with Pharrell William's
alternative rock and hip-hop band
• Sept. 17, 6:30-1 Opm, Malkin
Bowl (Stanley Park). Tickets $45
www.ticketmaster.ca, tickets also
at Zulu and Highlife Records. •
September 20
BHANGRA IDOL • Third annual
competition featuring 10 teams
from across the city • Sept 20,
6pm, Orpheum Theatre (Seymour
& Smithe). Info 604-723-4391.
www.bhangraidols.com •
September 21
GARBAGE CAN ART CONTEST &
AUCTION • 25 artists take part in
four hours of creative madness,
turning metal garbage cans into
works of art, which are then
auctioned off. • Sept 21, 11am,
Granville Island Market (1689
Johnston). Info 604-984-3864,
www.lghfoundation.com •
October 2
REFUGEE CAMP IN THE HEART
OFTHE CITY • Doctors Without
Borders (MSF) offers an interactive tour through an outdoor
reconstruction of a refugee camp,
explaining the crucial elements for
survival • Oct. 2-6, 9am-5:30pm,
Vancouver Public Library (350 W.
Georgia). Free admission, www.
refugeecamp. org
• Events? e-mail us at: feedbacks
ubyssey.ca
Corrections
On August 20, in the article "Fair-
view conversion delayed indefinitely," we named Alex Lougheed as
the VP Finance, rather than the VP
Academic and University Affairs
The Ubyssey regrets the error.
Classifieds
If you want to place a classified, e-mail us at advertising@ubyssey.ca
Housing
Help Wanted
For sale/warn
Business
Adjunct engineering law professor needs accom near UBC beginning September. Single suite or
shared home OK. No basement
suites. Currently overseas. Male,
non-smoker, avid skiier, kayaker,
Spanish and English speaking,
easy-going. Please respond
tonwtmike@gmail.com; include
photos of place if possible.
am looking for a female driver/ Selling Xbox 360 games:
tutor/babysitter for one of my
children for Saturdays. You would Viva Pinata, $10
be responsible to drive one of my The Darkness, $ 10
children to activities and/or babysit or tutor. You need a car. Please Selling: Champions Online cus-
e-mail me your name and num- torn   skateboard   deck   (gotten
ber or your resume at d.dougals® from Penny Arcade Expo 2008,
shaw.com no wheels)
Bunch of other swag from PAX
'08
Buying: Rise Against floor ticket
(Nov. 9), $75
Cell: 778-847-9300
INTERESTED IN
ADVERTISING HERE?
CALL
604.822.6681 TO PLACE
AN AD OR E-MAIL US
AT ADVERTISING®
UBYSSEY.CA
UBC STUDENTS CAN
ADVERTISE FOR FREE
ThhIUbyssey
September 2nd, 2008
volume xc, rfl
Editorial Board
COORDINATING EDITOR
Kellan Higgins: coordinating@uhyssey.ca
NEWS EDITORS
Stephanie Findlay & Justin McElroy :
news@uhyssey.ca
CULTURE EDITOR
Trevor Melanson : culture@uhyssey.ca
SPORTS EDITOR
Shun Endo sports@uhysseyca
FEATURES & PERSPECTIVES EDITOR
Joe Rayment: features@uhyssey.ca
PHOTO EDITOR
Goh Iromoto :photos@ubyssey.ca
PRODUCTION MANAGER
Paul Bucci:production@uhyssey.ca
COPY EDITOR
Celestian Rince: copy@uhysseyca
VOLUNTEER COORDINATOR
Ricardo Bortolon : volunteers@uhysseyca
WEBMASTER
Vacant: webmaster~@uhyssey.ca
MULTIMEDIA EDITOR
Dan Haves : multimedia@uhysseyca
Editorial Office
Room 24, Student Union Building
6138 Student Union Boulevard
Vancouver, BCV6T lZl
tel: 604-822-2301
fax: 604-822-9279
web: www.uhyssey.ca
e-mail: feedback @uhyssey.ca
Business Office
Room 23, Student Union Building
advertising: 604-822-1654
business office: 604-822-6681
fax: 604-822-1658
e-mail: advertising@uhyssey.ca
BUSINESS MANAGER : Fernie Pereira
AD TRAFFIC : Sabrina Marchand
AD design : Vacant
The Ubyssey is the official student newspaper ofthe University of British Columbia. It is published every Tuesday
and Friday by The Ubyssey Publications Society. We are an
autonomous, democratically run student organisation,and
all students are encouraged to participate.
Editorials are chosen and written by the Ubyssey staff.
They are the expressed opinion of the staff, and do not
necessarily reflect the views of The Ubyssey Publications
Society or the University of British Columbia. All editorial
content appearing in The Ubyssey is the property of The
Ubyssey Publications Society. Stories, opinions, photographs and artwork contained herein cannot be reproduced
without the expressed, written permission of The Ubyssey
Publications Society.
The Ubyssey is a founding member of Canadian University Press (CUP) and adheres to CUP's guiding principles.
Letters to the editor must be under 300 words. Please
include your phone number,student number and signature
(not for publication) as well as your year and faculty with
all submissions. ID will be checked when submissions are
dropped off at the editorial office ofThe Ubyssey; otherwise
verification will be done by phone."Perspectives"are opinion pieces over 300 words but under 750 words and are run
according to space."Freestyles" are opinion pieces written
by Ubyssey staff members. Priority will be given to letters
and perspectives over freestyles unless the latter is time
sensitive.Opinion pieces will not be run until the identity of
the writer has been verified.The Ubyssey reserves the right
to edit submissions for length and clarity. All letters must be
received by 12 noon the day before intended publication.
Letters received after this point will be published in the
following issueunlessthereisan urgenttime restriction or
other matter deemed relevant by the Ubyssey staff.
It is agreed by all persons placing display or classified
advertising that if the Ubyssey Publications Society fails to
publish an advertisement or if an error in the ad occurs the
liability of the UPS will not be greaterthan the price pa id for
the ad. The UPS shall not be responsible for slight changes
or typographical errors that do not lessen the value or the
impact ofthe ad.
Contributors
In recent news,the HMS Dan Haves ran ashore against
Point Trevor Melanson. A number of survivors were
found clinging to packages of Cel Rince enroute to
Micheael Brund, China. Among them was noted person
and excaped convict Paul Bucci. The United Nations of
Kellan Higgins offered their condolences for the many
losses including three-time voted Best Look Guy Ever
Ricardo Bortolon.
In other news, a new species of Goh Iromoto was discovered. It was only discovered after Hurrican Justin
McElroy forced an expedition from the University of
Stephanie Findlay deep into the caves of Ian Turner
County in western Florida.
Locally, the community of Stephen Toope in northern
Samantha Jung had to be evacuated after a poisonous
gas leakwas reported by Marie Burgoyne.The gas,SDS,
was quickly neutralized with RBF released by crop-
dusting planes. Andrew Thompson and Isabel Ferreras
denied any danger.
V      Canada Post Sales
Agreement
Number 0040878022
Canadian printed orH'00%
University   recycleckpaper
Press \_]\J News
Editors: Stephanie Findlay & Justin McElroy \ E-mail: news@ubyssey.ca
September 2,2008 | Page 3 4 | NEWS
THE UBYSSEY    WWW.UBYSSEY.CA
SEPTEMBER 2, 2008
(Ju/tural' (JQ) reviews, evtryy onc& uv a coAii&
CULTURE@UBYSSEY.CA
r
If you are suffering from neck pain,
back pain, headache or fatigue...
www.vancouverspinecarecentre.com
Broadway at Pine 604-873-6029
^
V
PREFERRED FEE SCHEDULE FOR UBC STUDENTS
Dr. Dean Greenwood Dr. Richard Hunter
CHIROPRACTORS
J
The Ubyssey
The Ubyssey is looking for a
Webmaster (to master the
web of course).
The Ubyssey needs someone to do the
following
•upload content to the web
•maintain the website and online
calendar
•look to update parts of the web
•coordinate online advertising
SUB 24 to apply
UBC Vancouver's Consideration of
Membership in the NCAA Division II
The University of British Columbia is undertaking a consultation
with the campus community and other key stakeholders regarding
UBC Vancouver's consideration of membership in the NCAA Division
II, a division of the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA).
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU! PLEASE JOIN US AT ONE
OF THE FOLLOWING OPEN HOUSES:
THUNDERBIRDS
Date: September 29, 4:00 - 7:00 pm
Multi-Purpose Room, Liu Institute, 6476 NW Marine Drive, UBC Campus
Date: October 14, 6:00 - 9:00 pm
Arbutus Room, Ponderosa Centre, 2071 West Mall, UBC Campus
Date: October 15, 4:00 - 7:00 pm
Arbutus Room, Ponderosa Centre, 2071 West Mall, UBC Campus
UBC Co-Chairs, NCAA Division II Review Committee for UBC Vancouver:
Marie Earl, AVP Alumni & Executive Director, Alumni Association
Daniel F. Muzyka, Dean, Sauder School of Business & RBC Financial
Group Professor of Entrepreneurship
FOR THE CONSULTATION DISCUSSION GUIDE AND FEEDBACK FORM
PLEASE VISIT WWW.STUDENTS.UBC.CA/NCAA
Correspondence and Inquiries:
Don Wells, c/o NCAA Division II
Review Group
6251 Cecil Green Park Road
Vancouver, BCV6T1Z1
Tel: 604.822.6979
Fax: 604.822.8928
Email: ncaainfo@interchange.ubc.ca
NCAA
DIVISION II
CONSULTATION
STUDENTS
T^
Special Student
Subscription Offer
Subscribe to The Vancouver Sun
or The Province for only
$6
per month
for 8 months
Yes, it includes delivery!
Valid student ID required.
%0FF
NEWSSTAND PRICE
The Province
It starts here.
The Vancouver Sun
SERIOUSLY WESTCOAST
TAKE A BREAK FROM
THE TEXT BOOKS. ENJOY...
• Hard-hitting sports coverage including
your Canucks
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Hurry! This offer ends soon.
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Ask for offer code: VANR0PUBC
*Print subscription is for an 8-month subscmtion delivered 6 days a week.
All orders must be prepaid. Offer only applicaole where Lower Mainland home
delivery is available and restricted to students with valid post secondary
student ID who have not had home delivery within the past 45 days. Introductory price will be in effect for an 8-month term at which time delivery service
will ccntinue and step-up to our regular home delivery rate. Price includes
GST. Other restrictions may apply. Offer expires October 31, 2008.
UBC INC
Manine res'dence tower <
vet Wreck Beach, spring 2005
BUILDING COMMUNITY
WHETHER YOU WANT n
OR NOT
This is one ofthe many
satirical advertisements in
the as-of-yet undistributed
(and controversial) GSS
handbook, graphic courtesy
OF THE GSS HANDBOOK
Graduate handbooks held up
by Justin McElroy
News Editor
Graduate students will have to
wait for their handbooks this
year because of an impassioned
debate concerning its content.
Although 7000 copies of the
Graduate Student Society handbook have been published, the
GSS executive has decided to
temporarily withhold distribution, citing multiple factual errors inside ofthe books.
"The executive met and decided that due to the non-factual
content of some ofthe handbook,
we should hold off on distribution until we meet with council
and see what they say," said
GSS President Mona Maghsoodi
Sunday afternoon. An emergency council meeting has been
scheduled for Thursday evening
to determine the ultimate fate of
the handbooks.
The GSS handbook-which
costs the society $20,000—is distributed to all graduate students
at the beginning ofthe winter semester. It traditionally contains
information on a variety of items
ranging from getting loans and
bursaries to introductions of different clubs on campus. It also
comes with a day planner.
The editors of the handbook,
Nathan Crompton and Andrew
Witt, decided to write this year's
edition "from a critical and historical perspective," according
to Witt. Their handbook includes
a history of UBC filled with
controversial events from the
University's past, satirical ads
that lampoon the housing and
development on campus and
multiple claims that "UBC has
been forced to occupy itself with
the single goal of profit making."
GSS VP Student Services
Rodrigo Ferrari Nunes, whose
duties include oversight of the
handbook, was incensed at the decision to withhold the handbook.
"Some believe that the handbook should be politically neutral.' Being politically neutral is
in itself a gutless and spineless
political position," he said.
Crompton accused the GSS
of attempting to censor free
speech at UBC. "If council had
problems with the content in the
handbook, they should clearly
have raised concerns before they
were printed," he said.
However, Maghsoodi contends that "the only thing we
were asked to comment on was
the front cover, our own section
for executives, things like that...
The content of the handbook was
never brought to executive or
council."
Nunes sees it differently, telling the Ubyssey that the executives' "incompetence and deep
misunderstanding of the society
prevented them from being
more involved with the content,
despite constant invitations to
participate."
Crompton is no stranger
to controversy on campus. Involved with the radical SDS-UBC
group on campus, he was one
of nineteen students arrested
at the KnollAid 2.0 protests in
April, and spearheaded the attempt to remove AMS Executive
Alex Lougheed from office last
February.
Despite Crompton's active
political past, the GSS President
professed her surprise at the political slant in the handbook.
"Had the executive even
thought that there would be
anything wrong with [the handbook], of course we would have
dealt with it sooner...Council
wouldn't have approved of the
hiring of [Crompton] had they
thought there would be a concern," said Maghsoodi, adding
"I'm not sure if I was aware of
the past history of [Crompton]...
I had never met with him prior
to his hiring." \a
TOO HOT TO HANDLE?
The GSS is declining to comment on problems with the
handbook until Thursday's
Council meeting. Here are two
excerpts from the book:
PAGE 68 "Because of a lack of
crime on campus (excepting
[sic] white collar crime), the
RCMP has little to do of much
excitement. For that reason,
the RCMP has taken to the mass
arresting of students without
reasonable charge, or better, to
handcuffing first-year women
students and taking playful
photos' with them."
PAGE 71 "If you're like most
faculty and staff, you're sick to
death of being jerked around.
But if you buy a home from
your employer now, then they
can hold that over you next
time there's a contract to be
negotiated." (satirical ad) SEPTEMBER 2, 2008
THE UBYSSEY    WWW.UBYSSEY.CA
CALENDAR | ;  Culture
Editor: Trevor Melanson \ E-mail: culture@ubyssey.ca
September 2,2008 | Page 7
You're not a player, you're a first year
Men: what not to do when
you want to attract women
at university
by Trevor Melanson	
Culture Editor
College isn't a goddamn
movie. Beautiful women will not throw their
succulently-sculpted
bodies your way.
You're not a pimp, you're not
a player—you're a piece of shit
first year.
I'm sort of a piece of shit
myself, but I've learned a few
things, such as what not to do.
All women are different, and
some won't ever be interested in
you. What you can do, however,
is not present yourself as a total
douchebag.
Accordingly, avoid doing the
following:
1. Wearing too much cologne.
If you're not sure how much is
too much, don't wear any. If she
catches a whiff of your Moron
by Calvin Klein from across the
room, the effect won't be an enticing one. Two squirts does the job;
it's not fucking Lysol.
2. Popping your collar all the way.
Every guy who does this looks
ridiculous—and you won't be the
exception. Pop it halfway, if you
must.
3. Acting like a pimp. You're not
a pimp, and pimps aren't cool.
They're drains on society and embody everything women despise.
So use proper English. You're at a
university; act like it.
4. Looking like awalkingbillboard
for Armani Exchange, Diesel, etc.
It's what you wear and how you
wear it that matters, not where
you bought it. Overwhelming designer labels make you look both
pretentious and poorly dressed:
the worst of both worlds.
5. Strutting. No amount of strutting is permissible. Ifyou're lucky,
she'll think you were injured in a
car accident, not realizing what a
misguided shithead you are.
6. Trying to pick up every woman,
man, or thing you might stickyour
dick in. People will talk aboutyou,
and you'll be the laughingstock
of res. It ain't cool to be desperate; bullshitting and high fiving
your equally lame buddies won't
change that. Xi
Graphics by Trevor Melanson
Tomorrow's Professionals Apply Today!
Apply Online!
OMSAS     www.ouac.on.ca/omsas/
Ontario Medical School Application Service
September 15, 2008: Last day to register for online applications
October 1, 2008: Application deadline
www.ouac.on.ca/olsas/     OLSAS
Ontario Law School Application Service
November 3, 2008: Application deadline - First year
May 1, 2009: Application deadline - Upper year
TEAS www.ouac.on.ca/teas/
Teacher Education Application Service
November 28, 2008: Application deadline
www.ouac.on.ca/orpas/     ORPAS
Ontario Rehabilitation Sciences Programs Application Service
(Audiology, Occupational Therapy, Physical Therapy/Physiotherapy, Speech-Language Pathology)
January 9, 2009: Application deadline
The Ubyssey
s~E*\    ONTARIO U
f-' CFNTRF DF
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Editor: Joe Rayment \ E-mail: features@ubyssey.ca
September 2,2008 | Page 9
Continued on page 11 10    ADVERTISEMENT
THE UBYSSEY    WWW.UBYSSEY.CA
SEPTEMBER 2, 2008
8.I11S Insider weekly «
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Sept. 12
Lesley Pike
The Painted Birds
The Abramson Singers
Creature
Elias
Hayfa Makes Music
Jon & Roy
Fur Bearing Animals -
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10 a.m.-6 p.m.        £*\ "\
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Concourse area. Main level         ^^ If
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An event brought to you by your student society         *^£-^
AMS pickup
||\|S|  your free
DER AMS student
20       agenda in
08      the SUB
Don't miss a minute
Get your all access firstweek wristband at
www.amsfirstweek.com
Shinerama is an annual Canada-wide, student-run fundraiser
organized to raise money and awareness for cystic fibrosis
research and treatment, it runs during the first week of
September with loads of events for you to get involved in.
Thursday, September 4, we'll be bringing a vintage trolley bus
on campus for the Translink Bus Shine so stop by
just North ofthe SUB at 12:00 p.m.
September 5, for the AMS & UBC Presidents Bike Shine
taking place at 2:00 p.m. near the SUB North Entrance.
Saturday, September 6, the famed "Shine Day"
when hundreds of UBC students will hit the streets of
Vancouver to get creative and do whatever it takes to
raise money and awareness.
We'll be at all Firstweek events as well as
the Main Event Carnival on Imagine Day!
For more info and to register, checkout www.ams.ubc.ca/shinerama  12    PERSPECTIVES
THE UBYSSEY    WWW.UBYSSEY.CA
SEPTEMBER 2, 2008
> Come volunteer for the Ubyssey! We're in SUB 24, next to CopyRight! <
UBC Shotokan Karate Club
X
T
The UBC Shotokan
Karate Club,
one ofthe
oldest martia
arts groups on
campus, practi
in the SRC as an
instructional program
for UBC Rec.
ices   TL
We practice Mondays/Wednesdays 6:30-8 PM and
Saturdays 11:30-1 PM.
VOLUNTEER!
VOLUNTEERS<a UBYSSEY.CA
Teach English
Overseas
TESOL/TESL Teacher Training
Certification Courses
• Intensive 60-Hour Program
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• Detailed Lesson Planning
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• Comprehensive Teaching Materials
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• Teacher Placement Service
• Money Back Guarantee Included
• Thousands of Satisfied Students
OXFORD SEMINARS
604-683-3430/1-800-269-6719
www. oxf ordseminars. ca
Want a job on-campus?
Try Work Study
Now open to students with and without student loans
Land a part-time job with flexible work hours close to classes
through UBC's Work Study program.
You're eligible if you are a Canadian citizen or permanent resident
and:
• An undergraduate student enrolled in at least 9 credits
per term, or
• A graduate student paying full-time tuition
Polish up your resume and apply today.
Visit www.students.ubc.ca/careers/workstudy.cfm for more info and job postings
THE   UNIVERSITY   OF   BRITISH   COLUMBIA
Brock Hall Office Hours
Labour Day Long Weekend
The following Brock Hall offices have extended their office hours
for the Labour Day long weekend.
Housing & Conferences
Saturday, August 30 • 8:00 am - 4:00 pm
Sunday, August 31  • 10:00 am-2:00 pm
Student Financial Assistance & Awards
Saturday, August 30 ■ 10:00 am-2:00 pm
Sunday, August 31  • 10:00 am-2:00 pm
Monday, September 1 • Closed
Tuesday, September 2 to Thursday, September 4 • 8:00 am - 6:00 pm
Friday, September 5 • 8:00 am - 4:00 pm
Student Information Services
Tuition payment and registration assistance
Saturday, August 30 ■ 8:00 am - 4:00 pm
Sunday, August 31  • 10:00 am-4:00 pm
Monday, September 1 • Closed
Tuesday, September 2 to Thursday, September 4 • 8:00 am - 6:00 pm
Friday, September 5 • 8:00 am - 4:00 pm
For information on our regular office hours, please visit
www.students.ubc.ca/current/contact.cfm
Pushing the flywheel
Messages from
President Toope
To all new students: welcome to
UBC. You have worked hard to
get here, and you should feel satisfaction in your achievement.
You are joining a university that
consistently ranks among the
40 best in the world. More than
that, you are joining a remarkable learning community whose
professors are at the forefront of
global research, whose students
are among the best anywhere,
and whose 250,000 alumni are
making exciting contributions
both near and far.
I hope you feel welcome. Over
the course of your first week,
faculty, staff and students will be
reaching out with a multitude of
events to introduce you to campus life and help you find your
place. Take my advice, UBC is a
big place—begin your time here
by participating fully in the fun.
You will discover there are many
people who care deeply about
supporting you in your academic
journey.
You no doubt have thought
about your goals for this year. I
would like to share with you my
own priorities for the year ahead.
Let me start with some context.
This is an exciting time for
UBC. This year we celebrate our
100th birthday. Many events have
already been held to celebrate
the multitude of contributions
UBC has made to our world. I
hope you will join us at our Centenary Gala on September 23,
featuring acclaimed tenor and
alumnus Ben Heppner and a special world premier of new music
commissioned for the event (see
www.100.ubc.ca).
Our centenary year has been
preceded by an extraordinary
decade of growth under the Trek
2010 strategic plan. The vision
laid out in this plan, prepared by
my predecessor Martha Piper,
played an important role in attracting me to UBC. It describes
a distinctive mission with an
aim to prepare students to become exceptional global citizens
and promote the values of a civil
and sustainable society. Quite
frankly, there are few universities with such an ambitious mission statement.
Under this plan, we have seen
an intense phase of construction
of state-of-the-art new academic
buildings. University research
funding has more than doubled.
UBC has launched a new campus
in the Okanagan. All of this has
brought unparalleled new opportunities for students and a clear
OKER CHEN FILE PHOTO/THE UBYSSEY
sense of momentum.
Further, I believe UBC has
made great strides because of a
vibrant and responsive academic environment. I have been on
some ofthe world's great, historic campuses and UBC is distinct
for its informal, "unstuffy," and
open attitudes.
At UBC researchers have
been given the space to make
extraordinary contributions. For
example, during your time here
you will no doubt hear about
the late UBC geneticist Michael
Smith, who earned a Nobel prize
in 1993, and whose research
helped lay the foundation for BC's
strong biotechnology sector.
Educational innovators have
also created progressive models
for learning here at UBC, evident
in the popular Arts One and Science One programs, and more
recently community service
learning. Through the latter,
UBC is leading the nation in the
number of opportunities to earn
academic credit for volunteer
service on the front lines of our
communities.
I believe the recent growth,
and the culture of openness,
provide an enviable opportunity
for UBC to achieve greatness not
only in research, but especially
in improving the learning experience. This will be a top priority
for me this year.
This month's UBC Reports
carries an article about a comprehensive new UBC initiative
to help do this called LEAD, or
Lasting Education, Achieved
and Demonstrated. To date, the
initiative has involved meetings
of hundreds of faculty members
discussing a vision to provide a
transformative post-secondary
education. The initiative builds
on efforts to date, including providing teaching fellows for popular undergraduate arts courses,
and the Carl Wieman Science
Education Initiative, which has
been working on 16 major science courses impacting 10,000
undergraduate students. Consultations will continue through the
fall to work toward consensus
and action.
I am also committed to developing our graduate student
programs. We will be looking
for ways this year to expand
programs, enhance scholarships
and bursaries, and generally
make UBC even more of a first
choice for students from across
SEE "TOOPE" ON PAGE 13 SEPTEMBER 2, 2008
THE UBYSSEY    WWW.UBYSSEY.CA
PERSPECTIVES     13
Things you should know about UBC
Students for a Democratic Society
The SDS-UBC is a collective of students
that operate within a mandate of democratization of the university power structure and non-cooperation with systems of
oppression. With reflection on what some
of us wish we had known in our firstyears
on the UBC campus, we offer an introductory insight on places to go and things to
know at UBC:
MUSQUEAM LAND
What the British Colonial authority christened "UBC" exists on unceded Musqueam
land. Aboriginal right and title of the
ground beneath our feet has never been
"extinguished" by conquest or treaty. The
Musqueam First Nation is a growing community adjacent to South Campus.
AMS RESOURCE GROUPS
Pride UBC, Allies, Social Justice Centre,
Colour Connected, Student Environment
Centre and your very own SDS operate
out of this space. You will find students
chilling in this space, painting, eating and
talking radical smack. Located upstairs in
the SUB, room 245.
SPROUTS & COMMUNITY EATS
Sprouts, a volunteer-run collective, offers
organic food, 0-mile produce from the
UBC Farm, and fair-trade coffee. Community Eats, a free vegan lunch, also operates
out of Sprouts. Located downstairs in the
SUB, room 66.
PROFESSORS
Professors at UBC are not hired as
teachers but, rather, as a result of their
successes in academic research and publishing. Many don't know how to lecture
their way out of a paper bag. Also, no
matter how influential a professor may
be, sexism, racism, and other discriminatory remarks are absolutely inappropriate. Concerns should be emailed to
the department head.
RENTERS' RIGHTS
If you do live off campus, make sure you
visit the Tenant Resource and Advisory
Centre website: www.tenants.bc.ca.
POLICE AND SECURITY
With the introduction of high-end condos
and the Olympics to the UBC frontier,
the unaccountable RCMP are increasing
their repression of student nightlife and
protests.
CITR
CiTR (101.9 FM), "the voice of UBC," plays
independent music and is eminently welcoming to new members and ideas. Plus,
the CiTR lounge has a beer machine. Located upstairs in the SUB, room 233.
THE FARM
Full of life, love and local produce, the UBC
farm serves as an oasis in a sea of grey administrative buildings. As with many fairy
tales, there is an evil plot to destroy the
farm and build a market-priced housing
development. No time to lose! Friends of
the Farm and the AMS Student Environment Centre are great places to start.
WRECK BEACH
Escape the "textile world" of capitalist uni-
form-ity by taking a stroll down University
Boulevard to Wreck Beach. Nothing more
liberating than studying naked.
WHY ARE WE ATTENDING UNIVERSITY?
Are we products, or people? Is President
Toope the CEO, are the board of governors the corporate directors, and are the
faculty the employees? And if so, are we
unconscious raw material shaped into
products (we pay a fee to be products!)
to be sold to industry for the sake of "the
economy"? Or are we students empowered to generate more just communities
and forms of knowledge? Xi
Radical Beer Faction
MEMORANDUM DIRECTIVE FOR NEW
PARTY MEMBERS
First and foremost, we are the Radical
Beer Faction (RBF), UBC's largest and
longest running faction. The RBF is
UBC's premier social club. We are at
the forefront of ensuring that students'
time at university is more than just an
academic excursion. Instead, we realize that university is an experience; an
experience that is much more involved
than books, classes and exams. The RBF
work hard to make sure students have
the best time possible while at UBC, but
not without a price.
We have compiled a number of
things about UBC that we believe the
students, new and returning, should
know. Though this is a formal release by
the Ministry of Propaganda and Misinformation, we warn that the contents of
this document were up until this time
highly classified, and will be disseminated as we see fit. Heed our words, and
no one will get hurt.
10. There are ninjas on campus, keep
your eyes peeled for their shenanigans.
9. Beer can be bought with your residence MealCard at 99 Chairs, perfect for
shedding that balance at the end of the
year.
8. The only group stealthier than
ninja's are the Croquet Society.
7. A few years back the Radical Beer Faction's "Fire Hydrant" lost a position on the
Board of Governors by only a few votes.
We will not fail this time.
6. The South Campus Animal Research
Facility is nearly abandoned, has a hole in
the fence, dilapidated buildings you can
explore, and a blood-stained autopsy lab,
all patrolled by a single llama for security
purposes.
5. Each semester is four months long, with
only four weeks of actual work. You do the
math, and come out to bzzr gardens!
4. Wreck Beach is Canada's premiere
clothing-optional beach, campus's coolest
place to party, and the ONLY place you
should be having your bonfires.
3. Monday is Koerner's, Tuesday The Gallery, Wednesday is Pit Night, Thursday is
any of the aforementioned, and Friday is
BZZR GARDENS!
2. Outside of Facebook, you should only
visit www.radicalbeer.ca, and www.bzzr-
gardens.com
1. The Radical Beer Faction has been defending your right to drink since before
most of you were born, trust that we are
going to throw you some pretty awesome
parties this year.
Take these helpful tips and hints into
account when you're exploring campus
Firstweek, and after settling in first semester. We will be providing you, our
beloved masses, with more insight as to
what to do and what not to do on campus
in the coming weeks.
Make sure to check out our website,
and come visit our booth at the Main
Event Carnival, and during Clubs Days to
learn more!  \a
the     RATION: SEPT. 2-11
Dead Frog's Nut Brown Ale
Found at Koerner's Pub, and many local
private liquor stores
WAR ON FUN: STATUS UPDATE
This week's battle takes place at all First-
Week events, most importantly the Welcome Back BBQ. Come fight the against
the War On Fun!
One wants to free Tibet, the other wants
free beer: the SDS and RBF will each be
contributing a column to the Ubyssey.
Check it out every second Friday.
Changes to Work Study
2007/2008
Want a job on-campus?
Try Work Study!
Now open to students with and without
student loans close to classes through
UBC's Work Study program.
Land a part-time job with flexible work
hours close to classes through UBC's Work
Study program.
You're eligible if you are a Canadian
citizen or permanent resident and:
- An undergraduate student enrolled in at
least 9 credits per term, or
- A graduate student paying full-time
tuition
Polish up your resume and apply today.
TOOPE TALKS (CON'T)
Canada and internationally.
In addition to focusing on
improving the learning experience, it will be my priority over
the next year to support a large
range of institutional planning
processes that will build on our
successes and move us beyond
the Trek 2010 strategic plan
that has guided us for the last
decade.
At the top of that list is development of the next phase of
the UBC strategic plan. We are
currently moving forward on a
process for gathering the input
of faculty, students and staff in
the development of that plan for
UBC, with the goal of completing
it by fall 2009. I encourage you
to look for your opportunity to
provide input into the vision.
In complement to the strategic plan, I will be overseeing
the development of an academic
plan. Engaging the broad academic community in this process
is vital. And it is my desire that
we can work together to develop
a plan that is aligned with our
strategic goals, that details how
we will know if we are succeeding, and that has a clear focus
on improving the engagement of
students.
In addition to these top-level
plans, we are also working on the
development of an international
strategy, a national enrolment
strategy, an aboriginal strategy
and the completion of the Vancouver campus plan.
I view these many planning
efforts as synergistic, fostering
internal collaboration and improving our ability to bring our
many diverse elements together
in an integrated way for accelerated progress. I am reminded of
the analogy of a flywheel used in
the book Good to Great, by Jim
Collins, which describes how
transformations do not happen
overnight. Rather, the process
resembles relentlessly pushing a giant, heavy flywheel in a
common direction, until it all
together propels us forward.
Finally, as UBC's president,
it is my job to work on the international and national stage
to advance your university's
profile and reputation. Over the
past year we have conducted a
review to see how well we tell
the UBC story to our external
communities, and to develop a
plan to build awareness and understanding of our extraordinary
learning community. Stay tuned
as we prepare to implement this
project this year to advance the
profile of our great institution in
support of renewed directions in
learning and research.
Meanwhile, get involved and
have fun!
Good luck.
—Professor Stephen J. Toope,
UBC President and
Vice-Chancellor inion
If you'd like to submit a letter, please contact feedback@ubyssey.ca
September 2,2008 \ Page 14
Our view
New Year, New Ubyssey
It has been 32,828 days since the Ubyssey opened its doors. In our
first issue, on October 17, 1918, we told students "the main aim of
the paper is to print the news while it is hot", and 90 years later, we
still strive to be the voice ofthe UBC community.
Every new year brings a new editorial board to the Ubyssey, brining new perspectives and new changes to the paper, and this year is
no different.
Our website, graciously redesigned by our intrepid webmaster
lastyear, brought www.ubyssey.ca to Web 2.0. As more and more
students shun newspapers in favour of online sites, we at the Ubyssey
will upload all the stories online in order to expand our readership.
This year we intend to aggressively cover campus-centred news
that may not be covered by the major news media. Whether its fires
on campus, student strikes, further non-student housing, or police
brutality, the Ubyssey will be there to report on all of them. We want
to be the nerve centre for the entire campus: If you see a professor
spouting crazy nonsense, or a taser being pulled out, give us a call!
Like any self-respecting paper in the 21st century, columns will
play a larger role. Columnists from varying clubs and viewpoints
across campus now have voice to give you their perspective on UBC
issues. This issue features the views of Students for Democratic Society (SDS) and the Radical Beer Faction (RBF). We aim to not only
inform students ofthe latest happenings on campus, but also to raise
the level of debate on contentious issues to something resembling a
mature level of discourse.
We may not be as fair and balanced as Fox News, but we hope to
cover every side of the story. The Ubyssey will not be a mouthpiece
for the conservative administration, nor will we kowtow to liberal
issues and activists on campus.
Another change you might notice is our move away from the traditional look we've had in the past few years. We want to define our
paper through exciting design and groundbreaking photography. We
have set a blue bar to distinguish the Ubyssey this year, so wherever
you are on campus, we'll make sure that our Pantone 300U header
will be visible to you. And if you find a place that seems consistently
lacking in a Ubyssey copy, tell us!
Page 2 will now always be filled with events for you to go to for
the upcoming week. If you are part of a club or group, send us your
events so we can provide coverage for all the students of UBC.
Of all these expansive changes, we hope for one key thing: we
want you to get involved with the Ubyssey. If you don't want to take
part in writing or taking photos, take part in giving us news tips so
we can get the info to you. If you see something cool around campus,
snap it with a camera and send it in. The Ubyssey has survived and
thrived through wars, depressions, Brian Mulroney, and AMS meddling because of your passion, your support, and your contributions
to the paper. We've seen Prime Ministers, Order of Canada recipients, acclaimed foreign correspondents, and amazing writers that
populate papers across this country get their humble starts in these
pages. Who knows? You might be next...
Oh yeah, Sudoku. We also have that now. *2I
Censorship or stupidity?
The kerfuffle over the Graduate Student Society (GSS) Handbook
is a classic example of the ongoing struggle between the so-called
"moderates" and "extremists" on campus. The GSS, in an act of either
stupidity or laziness, hired Nathan Crompton (a known "extremist"),
to edit their handbook. They recieved a handbook full of "non-factual"
material that could draw "potential lawsuits."
Well, what did they expect?
Crompton acted exactly as he has proven that he would in the
past by submitting a stark anti-capitalist and anti-administration
commentary, then fighting for its distribution. Crompton did his job
(as far as we can tell), and did it well in the terms of his personal
mandate. The fact that the GSS hired Crompton, allowed another
executive with likeminded views, Rodrigo Ferrari Nunes, to oversee
the content, let the issue go to print, then halted its distribution is the
real scandal here.
It will surely be interesting whether graduate students will get
their handbooks, and if the work ofthe editors will be censored. But
that decision hasn't been made yet. As Mona Maghsoodi, the GSS
president noted to us, council will ultimately choose whether to release the handbooks or not on Thursday—for all we know, the handbooks will be released without any changes made to them.
Many students (perhaps even the majority) agree that the university cares more about profit and development than students and
teaching. Many do not, however, agree with the attitudes or tactics
that Crompton and his ilk preach and practice regularly. And therein
lies the fundamental flaw in the current edition ofthe handbook. It's
one thing to note that UBC sits on Coast Salish land, and that UBC is
a bit too preoccupied with profit. It's another to claim "the RCMP has
taken to the mass arresting of students without reasonable charge,"
or declare that international capitalism ultimately controls UBC.
But whatever the merits of the handbook in its current state, the
GSS is in a lose-lose situation when it makes its decision on Thursday.
Ban the book, and they will lose an approximate $20,000, exacerbate the tensions already present within the society, and be left with
considerable egg on their face for some time. Let the book live, and
graduate students will wonder why their society gave them such a
politically-skewed and negative view of their university as a first impression. It may be the first day back, but the GSS has already shot
themselves in the foot. \a
Editorial Cartoon
Graphic by Trevor Melanson
Letters
I am continually appalled to discover that there
are still people in our country who hold views like
that of Dean Clark's. How dare he and others like
him attempt to grant upon themselves the right to
decide for a woman what she does with her body?
How dare he assume that he knows better than the
woman in the unimaginably difficult position of
having to make such a decision? What would wise
old Dean tell a potential teen mother if he knew
that studies have shown that if her fetus went to
term it would be more likely to have low birth
weight, be abused and neglected, perform poorly
in school, end up in jail, and, if female, get pregnant herself at a young age? What would his advice
be for a woman who had been raped and was now
pregnant?
No matter who she is, no matter what the circumstance, every woman in Canada has the right
to choose and Dr Morgentaler is, in large part, to
thank for this. He desired a better country and
made it so, thereby embodying the very essence of
membership in the Order of Canada. Thank you Dr
Morgentaler...and thank you Dean for reminding
me that no matter how far we've come, there is
always further to go.
—Emily Pitcher
Law 2
ThSUbyssey
Streeters
What are you most afraid of in this coming year?
Kim Hughes
Arts 1
"Getting lost
when I'm walking around
trying to find my
classes."
Lauren Mueller
English 3
"I'm afraid
of everything
because I'm
a transfer
student... Pretty
much my fear is
everything because this campus is huge."
Michael Wong
Science 1
"The jump from
high school
to university,
I guess that's
what I fear most
right now at this
point."
Alex Ivanovic
MBA1
"Biggest fear
would be paying
back $40,000."
lyad Dakkak
MBA1
"I come from
the Middle East.
I think my biggest fear here is
a little bit of, it's
a different environment for me,
it's new people,
the different
language. This
is my second
language."
-Coordinated by Ricardo Bortolon & Dan Haves, with photos by Andrew Thompson SEPTEMBER 2, 2008
THE UBYSSEY    WWW.UBYSSEY.CA
GAMES & COMICS | I ;
Games, etc.
If you are interested in submitting your comic, e-mail us at production@ubyssey.ca
Crossword by Krystian Imgrum,
The Ontarion, (University of Guelph)
AC
ROSS:
51. Understand
15
Little brother verb
1. Author Ayn
52. Polkaroo door features
21
Like a naturalist
5. Support (with for)
54. Yearned
25
Chemist's particle
9. Surrounded by
56. Plant part
27
Puck or Pan
13. Ron Howard role
58. Qualified
28
Cognizant
14
Band
60. Marsh plant
29
More pallid
16
Claudius I successor
64. Pandora's redemption
30
Railway station (2 wds.)
17
Thaw
65. Enraged
32
Choke
18
Degrade
67. Stallion's mate
34
Liquorice plant
19
Unappetizing food
68. Soon
35
Concise
20
Clean, as a bird
69. Went steady
37
Racket
22
Summer drinks
70. Russian mountains
38
Itsy-bitsy
23
Like a certain ranger
71. Subway series team
39
Shepherded
24
Yucatan feature
72. Vishnu and Shiva
41
Before (pr.)
26
Bound
73. Cincinnati team
44
Drunkard
28
Likely
45
Tacit
31
Everyman John
DOWN:
46
Storage box
32
Darling one
1
Have a gay old time
47
Grays
33
N.I.M.H. animal
2
Mime
50
Ate selectively
36
Prison official
3
Longest river
53
Signs
38
Red Baron's transport
4
Discourage
54
The Academy founder
40
J'ai
5
Teacher's org
55
Object to
41
Wooden stake
6
Suave
56
Hoax
42
Middle East ruler
7
Laundry units
57
Music term
43
Protect from loss, again
8
Place last
59
Act conceited
46
Recalcitrant youth
9
Geometry measure
61
Schoolyard challenge
48
Sea bird
10. Soaps, for ex.
62
Alumnus: (abbr.)
49
U2 single
11. Press
63
Wriggly fish
50
Use a spade
12. Drugs, to some
66
Begley and Norton
9
8
3
3
6
2
5
4
4
7
9
3
9
6
7
8
4
5
2
5
8
8
3
1
WHICH WALDO?
SUSCOMIC
GOT SOMETHING BETTER
THAN "WHICH WALDO?"
E-MAIL US AT:
PRODUCTION@UBYSSEY.CA
FOR INFORMATION ON
GETTING YOUR COMIC IN THE
PAPER.
Joe Rayment, The Ubyssey
OtUtAWS TH£Y
HAVJ£ MAfZ-fcl
(5 MS.
solution, tips and computer
programs at www.sudoku.com
HARD
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Michael Bround, The Ubyssey
is the past present?
IHHS409
"Is the Past Present?
International Indigenous Experiences of Colonization"
UBC's Division of Aboriginal Peoples Health,
Department of Family Practice offers this
Interprofessional Health and Human Service (IHHS)
course that is designed for students either enrolled in
or interested in health and human service programs
as well as First Nations Studies. It is open to all UBC
students, including graduate students. The course
is online, international and provides an opportunity
for an understanding of Indigenous experiences of
colonization and how those experiences manifest
today both socially and culturally. Students will work
interprofessionally with colleagues engaged in a
variety of disciplines. The course will be informed and
guided by Indigenous knowledge and will draw upon
a range of disciplines such as public health, history,
sociology and public policy.
(leg'15"
atW"
infot""*"1'
www.familymed.ubc.ca/aph/education.htm
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the future is friendly8

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