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The Ubyssey Apr 8, 2005

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Friday, April 8,2005
RESISTANCE. Free Forum at
Colingwood Neighbourhood House (2
blocks from Joyce Skytrain) April 9th,
6 AND 7, 8:00 P.M., St John's United
Church, 1401 Comox St. at Broughton.
Tickets: S5 or what vou can pay. Info:
single room in four-bedroom apartment.
2 bathrooms. Spacious living room
and kitchen. All brand-new and fully
furnished. Access to cable and high-speed
internet. On campus. Call 604-812-1365-
Females only. Apply alone or with friends.
Place available: May 1st till end of August,
or portion thereof.
TnTiTiTi FH iTiTilVBTTl rm
YOUR ROOM? I am seeking furnished
accommodation from May 1 to Sept
1, 2005- Close to SFU groceries and
transportation. On-site laundry and
internet ready preferred. E-mail:
ml renter@hotmail.com
Friday, 4/22 for Saturday, 4/23; have final
exam conflict. jsafrase@yaJhoo.com
Excellent Starting Pay
Flexible schedules
Start now or after finals
Customer sales/service
Training provided
All majors welcome to apply
Valuable resume builder
All ages 17+
Conditions apply
Call 604-323-1115
(on Campus/ beside Bank of Montreal)
Large Selection of
for your enjoyment!
Reservations 664^221-9355
caaemic services
Dr.Tutor at: www.dr-tutor.com Access
online notes &c examples, and get e-mail
help for 525/week.
Resource Group for gay, lesbian, bisexual,
transgendered students and allies. Visit
our website for events and info!
STAFF! Get great experience in
event management, marketing and
development. Pick up a brochure at the
SRC for details.
SUMMER WORK. Great Pay All
ages 17+, customer sales/sve Will train,
conditions apply, Immediate openings,
SOUTHWESTERN lias 5 summer
positions available. Get experience, travel,
make $9000!  1-866-945-WORK or
Thursday Mar 24, at bus stop on Alma at
1 Oth. Send e-mail describing earring you
lost to ikitty@shaw.ca
HOME. Sadly cannot keep. Cage and
supplies included. Contact Christina
Witness pedestrian/automobile accident
at Western Parkway and University Blvd,
Saturday, April 2? Call (778) 888-8799.
OVERSEAS? Free information panel:
5 panelists, 4 countries. Endless
internship opportunities. April 19th.
7-9:30pm, Hycroft (1489 McCrae
Ave). Info & RSVP: 604-731-4661 or
GROCERY STORE. Find snacks, fresh
produce, ready-made- meals, baked goods
and more on the lower level of the SUB.
Open 11 -6 Monday to Friday.
articles on any topic and it may be
chosen for publication. To submit articles,
contact vesta.magazine@shaw.ca
Lookingfor a roommate?
Got spmetliinflio sell?
Or just have an announcement to
If you are a student, you can place
classifieils lor FREE!
For more information, visit Room 23 in
We SUB [basement] or call 822-1654.
Looking for a Job?
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That elusive spark of
teaching excellence
by Linda Mei
In choosing courses, many students are concerned about the
quality of teaching. Though many
courses are merely chances to
nap, there are some courses that
have a spark to them that really
makes a difference in learning.
Many elements contribute to
effective teaching, but four main
points stand out the most, according to Anish Sayani, a PhD student
at UBC in education.
One key component is having a
constructive teaching model, in
which 'all of the students come
already with a wealth of knowledge—they bring in their past experiences, they bring in their cultural
values, they bring in their family
experiences, they bring in their
travel experiences and their individual perception/ said Sayani.
"The teacher's job [is] to access
the world of information and
bring it into the classroom, together with the information that needs
to be taught,* he explained.
The second element is the idea
that multiple types of intelligence
exist and it is crucial to attend to
different learning styles, added
"People can't be measured by
just one kind of intelligence, but
people learn and have eight different types of intelligences; intelligences that are naturalist, musical, kinesthetic, etcetera."
In addition, Sayani advocates
"teaching strategies that create
that opportunity to learn about
yourself, [and] not only about yourself but about society too" and
approaches that deal with the bigger picture and broaden students'
"I always challenge my students
to the highest level [and] challenge
my students to use higher order
thinking skills, critical thinking
skills," he said.
This approach challenges the
dissemination model of teaching,
in which students regurgitate
information they have memorised, creating what Sayani calls "a
nation full of compliant, uncritical, almost oppressed people who
can't think for themselves."
Instructors have their own
teaching styles and ways of conveying information to students in
a compelling manner. They should
have empathy for students, be
curious about the information,
provide support for students, and
be willing to make mistakes, said
Robert Pritchard of the UBC
School of Music, this year's recipient of a student-nominated award
for teaching excellence known as
the Killam Teaching Prize.
In his music theory classes,
Pritchard tries to deliver information using different mediums during his lectures, including movies,
overheads and computer software.
The idea is to translate "musical
ideas into visual ideas."
According to Bruce Dunwoody,
associate dean of Engineering,
professors have to have "passion
in teaching."
"You need to be organised in
the way that you present the materials so that the students actually
learn," he said adding that one
resource, called Teaching and
Academic  Growth (TAG),  can be
"People can't be
measured by just one
kind of intelligence,
but people learn and
have eight different
types of intelligences"
—Anish Sayani
UBC PhD student
used to provide "the skills that professors need in order to teach."
"It's not enough just to be
enthusiastic about teaching, you
actually have to give some thought
to it and certainly [incorporate]
the TAG approach."
To make lectures interesting,
professors in the Faculty of
Applied Sciences try to emphasise
the non-academic skills needed to
be successful in life, such as teamwork, organisation, and leadership.
Along with incorporating
humour into his lectures,
Dunwoody includes "experiences
from real life."
"By bringing that sort of thing
in, [it] definitely grips the students
when they realise what they're
learning has applicability." 81
Arts County Fair
Matthew Good, K-OS,
Metric, Stabilo,Tupelo Honey
April 8, 2005 from 12pm to 8pm
Thunderbird Stadium
$25 at the door
Pride UBC's Annual General Meeting
April 10, 2005 at 5pm
SUB Council Chambers
Food provided, everyone welcome
Brave New Play Rites 2005
UBC Department of Creative Writing,
Theatre and Film
April 13-17, 2005 at 7:30pm
$12 regular, $8 students and seniors
tickets: 604-822-2678
Minischool Wine and Beer Festival
April 16, 2005 from 12pm to 4pm
SUB Ballroom
Arlo Guthrie at the Chan Centre
A 60s Folk Icon
April 19, 2005 at 8pm
Chan Centre Ticket Office:  604-8!
School Inc.
A new play by Sean Cook
April 26- May 3, 2005 at 7:30pm
$20 adult $12 student
Festival Box Office: 604 257 0366
Youth Week!!
Opening event "Breaking the Ice"
May 1, 2005
DJs, games and bands
Robson Square anytime, all day!
Friday, April 8,2005
Competition: coming soon to campus?
Potential movie theatre in new University Boulevard Neighbourhood catches FilmSoc by surprise
by Dan McRoberts
UBC's new and improved University
Boulevard Neighbourhood could
include a four or five-screen cinema
complex, news that comes as a surprise to the UBC Film Society, operators of the Norm Theatre in the
Student Union Building.
The theatre is included as one
of the design requirements for
Building A-l, to be located on the
new "University Square," above
the underground bus loop. The
facility would serve a dual purpose, being used a classroom or
performance space in the daytime
and converting into a cinema at
"We had to give the design
teams in the architectural competition a program, and this building
is one of the more interesting,"
said Joe Redmond, vice president
of UBC Properties Trust. "We wanted something that created activity
in the square and also benefited
the university. This provides
amenity, activity and ambiance."
Each of the three finalists in the
design competition have included
the theatre spaces, with one team
featuring the proposed movie complex—dubbed the University
Boulevard Cinema (UBC)—on its
posters in the Belkin Art Gallery.
UBC has been involved in what
Redmond describes as "very preliminary discussions" about a part-
time movie theatre with the former ownership group of Fifth
Avenue Cinemas.
"Before we can be sure, we want
to know about what the access and
revenue schemes might look like,"
Redmond said. "It's like any other
tenant, we think it would be a good
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UBC'S TOP MODEL? Each proposed U-Town plans offer a new multi-plex theatre as well as an underground bus loop, nic fensom photo
idea but if it didn't work then it
would change."
Sharing the space with UBC
Theatre and other academic users
is key to the project, according to
"If it was just a theatre for the
public it might be a more difficult
thing to accept."
UBC Properties Trust considered the impact a theatre complex
would have on the Norm Theatre,
Redmond said.
"We didn't think that it would be
competition...The types of movies
would be different," he said. No
analysis has been done that would
suggest how much tickets might
cost, but it is unlikely that the new
theatre would be able to compete
with the $3 tickets at the Norm.
Redmond's   words   are   cold
comfort to Sarah Alikhani, the
incoming President of the UBC
Film Society. She had no idea that
a cinema was part of the
University Boulevard proposal
until her interview with the
"It would definitely bring in
some competition with another
theatre so close to campus," she
said. It would have been nice to
know because our theatre is an
important part of campus."
Alikhani's concern was echoed
by Andrej Marko, FilmSoc's new
President of foreign and independent film.
"This could create a lot of problems," he said. "We've just started
a renovation campaign. I would be
pretty firmly against having a new
theatre." II
UBC experiments with broad-based admission
by Sarah Bourdon
Getting into UBC may not depend so
heavily on marks in the future, as the
university looks into methods of
broad-based admission, an approach
that involves considering non-academic factors, such as extracurricular activities and leadership skills.
Two UBC faculties—the Faculty of
Science and the Sauder School of
Business—have been using such
methods in admitting students over
the past year. The success of this
approach is being evaluated to determine whether to increase the use of
broad-based criteria, according to
UBC VP Academic Lome Whitehead.
"We're interested in the possibility of expanding it both in terms of the
number of students that would be
affected within those two faculties
and then also broadening it to other
faculties as well," said Whitehead.
The task of implementing broad-
based admission is, however, easier
said than done, explained Whitehead.
"It's very important that we do
this carefuUy," he said. "To some
degree we're in new territory here.
This is not common practice in
Canadian universities and we want to
be sure we do it in a manner that is
fair and appropriate for students."
The Sauder School of Business
began admitting all first-year students using a broad-based process
last September. In addition to submitting high school grades, applicants must complete supplementary
information, including extracurricular activities and references as well as
an essay on why they want to enter
the program.
"We're trying to assess leadership
potential and find students who really are likely to go on to become business leaders," said Brian Bemmels,
an associate dean from the school. By
2008, all students within the faculty
will have been admitted using broad-
based criteria, he added.
Though evaluation of this method
will take some time, there are indications that the quality of students has
been improved with its implementation, said Bemmels.
"The initial responses from the
people who are teaching this year
have been that the students as a
group are even more dynamic and
outgoing that what they used to be,"
he said.
By expanding admission criteria,
the business program is accessible to
a wider range of students, said
"There's so much demand for the
program," he said. "Some years the
cut-off was 92 per cent. Now with
broad-based admissions we're looking at all applicants with about 84 per
cent and above and then using the
broad-based criteria to select what we
think are the best business students.
"It makes it more accessible for
people who don't have really high
marks but are still good students."
The Faculty of Science has been
experimenting with similar methods of admission, accepting 200 stu
dents this year using broad-based
criteria. Applicants can self-select
whether they would like to go
through a broad-based process,
according to Dean of Science John
"The students who are clearly
below what our cut-off is going to be
can apply through broad-based
admission, which basically involves
them filling out a questionnaire,"
said Hepburn. After completing
the questionnaire, applicants are
assigned a "citizenship score,"
which is then blended with their
GPA to create a final score.
"What we've found is that it
drops the cut-off by a few percentage
points," said Hepburn, adding that
the drop is not large but does give
some students a higher chance of
getting into the program.
A benefit of this admission
method is that it seems to draw a
more diverse, involved group of students, said Hepburn.
"If students are involved in high
school, we're finding they tend to
stay involved at university," he
explained. "If a student could participate in lots of extracurricular activities and still maintain a high average in their courses, that's a better
student than a student who simply
maintains a high average in their
courses. That's very clear.
"What I'd love to move towards is
to admit all our students on broad-
based admission. Whether we can
afford that is the question."
UBC is in a small minority of
Canadian schools that is actively
using such an approach in its faculties. While a broad-based approach
could have many advantages,
accepting students based on grades
remains a fair standard to use,
according to Gerry Kendal, associate
registrar at the University of Alberta.
"At this point, [the U of A is]
doing nothing different than we
have over the last ten years," said
Kendal. "Most undergraduate
admissions are determined by academic average...GPA may not be the
best predictor but it is something
that's definable, measurable and a
reasonably fair kind of thing to
apply to everybody."
However, Kendal acknowledged
that UBC's use of a broad-based
approach serves as a model for
other schools.
"We all applaud UBC and its business school and we'll see how that
goes and see if it's possible," he said.
"I can assure you that there isn't an
admissions person or dean in the
country that hasn't been engaged in
this conversation."
UBC will continue evaluating
broad-based admission processes to
determine whether these methods
predict academic success and bring
in students who contribute to the
campus community. Administrators
are "cautiously optimistic" about the
approach, said Whitehead.
"In talking to various faculties, I
know there's a lot of appetite for taking such actions, but at the same
time, taking them carefully." II
Last chance
to vote
University Boulevard is going to
change drastically over the next
few years and this weekend is
your last chance to see what it
might look like before the Board
of Governors approves a final
design in May.
The pubHc poll that allows students, faculty and community
members to choose between the
three finalist designs and post
comments will close Sunday
The physical displays, which
include dioramas, detailed
schematics and plenty of dowdy
people in suits looking at you, are
located in the Belkin Art Gallery
at 1825 Main Mall (across the
street from Buchanan A). The
gallery is open from 12-5 pm on
Saturday and Sunday.
The online poll is accessible at
www.universitytown.ubc.ca until
midnight Sunday.
The vote has been open since
April 1 and there has been sustained interest at the Belkin
Gallery, said Linda Moore, associate director of external affairs for
University Town.
"It's been a steady stream of
interested people," she said. "We
have polling stations set up and
there is almost always a lineup."
The poll results will go to the
jury first and then be released to
the pubHc later this month. II PAGE FRIDAY
Friday, April 8,2005
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Advanced Placement into Diploma Programs
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Heidi Surman 604-432-8293 or mktg@bcitxa
At BCIT we offer a unique blend of academic
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Apply now for Fall 2005
AMS drafting student
rights handbook
Comprehensive guide will be co-published with UBC
by Sara Norman
Student academic rights and
responsibilities within UBC are
topics not widely addressed, but
the Alma Mater Society (AMS) is
working to put an end to that.
Since former President Amina
Rai held office, the AMS has been
developing a draft of the "Student
Rights and Responsibilities Handbook" to address such issues.
Information found within the
handbook can also be found within the UBC Calendar, but the handbook goes into more detail about
university procedures, dealing
with topics such as academic dovetailing (handing in the same paper
to more than one class), a student's right to obtain information
written about him/her, and academic discipline.
Upon taking office in March,
new AMS President Spencer Keys
has continued the development of
the handbook, which will be co-
published with UBC.
"We feel that this book will be
strongest if it is a co-publication of
the AMS and UBC," Keys said.
The handbook's creation hasn't
come easily, though. The turnover
of AMS executives and offices has
caused the handbook's target
release date of January 2005 to be
delayed, as have various editorial
decisions on the part of UBC. Keys
hopes that it will be complete in
time to be included in the Imagine
UBC packages given out to first
year students, but isn't sure exactly how else it will be distributed.
"[What] we're in the middle of
right now is negotiations with the
university on how to effectively get
this out to students," said Keys,
adding, "It will be in some sort of
paper form in terms of the actual
distribution of it, I think [distribution isj a logistical question that
comes way after we have a [completed] book."
Keys hopes that the handbook
will also be made available
through a searchable website,
thereby making the information
even more accessible.
Student Legal Fund Society
President Derry Dance believes
that the Student Rights and
Responsibilities Handbook would
be beneficial to the UBC student
"Improved student awareness
of their rights is of critical importance both to ensuring the best
experience for students and to
achieving the broad objectives of
the University," he said. "Student
rights are at the core of student
Some students know more
about their rights than others,
Dance said, but easily accessible
information would benefit everyone.
"Information on rights must be
widely available in a form which is
both comprehensive and easily
understood by a diverse audience," he said.
When asked, several students
felt that having a handbook would
be useful. First-year student Anna
Jamah Rad concurs, adding that
though she is aware of many student rights and responsibilities, it
would be useful to have a handbook available for students who
may not be.
Currently, the handbook is still
in draft form. The AMS has yet to
determine the visual layout of the
handbook, but editing is weU
underway and content is more or
less established. Until it is published, students will have to rely
on the UBC Calendar. U
Demonstrating for clean air
UBC student KateWoznow spent April 1, "Fossil Fools Day/'
protesting outside Vancouver Ford dealerships as part of the
Jumpstart Ford Canada campaign. Woznow, along with 12
other UBC students, aimed to advise Ford about poor fuel
efficiency.The campaign also took place at several other
North American dealerships, photo courtesy of kate woznow PAGE FRIDAY
Friday, April 8, 2005
fhe:;iibysjsey fftagazifie
To kids these days, a Dose means a copy of a new free daily
newspaper; to their parents, it means a venereal disease
DIRTY: There's more to a Dose than you might expect. Ask your
mom. No, really, ask. nic fensom photo
by Jonathan Woodward
Adults are itching to know why
Canada's newest daily magazine is
named after a venereal disease, but
young Canadians are just scratching
their heads.
To parents, a "dose"—the name
chosen for the new free magazine
for 18- to 34-year-olds launched on
April 4 by newspaper giant CanWest
Global—means the awful tingle of
stinging symptoms, and CanWest
should be burning with embarrassment
"Sure, getting a dose means
being infected, usually by gonorrhea," said Michael Hagen, 58.
Using "a dose" as a euphemism
appeared as early as 1914 with the
phrase "a dose of the clap," and is
still used on Health Canada's website. But when bacterial infections
could be cured by antibiotics and
infection rates dropped, the word
became much less popular too—and
many students today haven't heard
of the term.
So Dose may be using protection:
anyone who's likely to make the connection is probably too old to be in
its target demographic.
"We were aware of the name's
connotation to generations that we
weren't targeting," said Dose
Publisher Noah Godfrey, 27. "That
connotation wasn't relevant to the
generation that we were targeting."
In a statement before Dose's
launch, Godfrey said the media company would provide information
and services to readers with Dose
"through multiple touch points."
"That was an unintended pun,"
Godfrey said in an interview. Those
"touch points* were meant to be the
ways Dose communicates with its
readers: through the 320,000 copies
of its paper in five Canadian cities;
its website dose.ca; and its wireless
portal, he said, a process that has
been "a blast."
"To us, it has positive connotations. It means just the right
amount, just the essential stuff. It's a
different name from conventional
media—with a youthful flavour."
Joseph Stemberger, the head of
the department of linguistics at
UBC, said slang sometimes just
can't bridge the generation gap.
The word 'groovy' doesn't mean
anything to young people. But to
older people, it's an equivalent of
'cool,' with a hint of nostalgia." [A
dose] is a part of the vocabulary that
is taboo," said Stemberger.
"We don't talk about it in good
company, we use euphemisms.
"But for those of us who were
there when it came in, [a dose] still
does mean that," said Stemberger.
"Maybe Dose is building in some
jokes for the older crowd."
Judith Prat, the co-ordinator of
the student Wellness Centre at UBC,
said she never hears "a dose" in
seminars with students.
"We don't want to encourage
words with a stigma," she said.
Gonorrhea is on the rise again in
the 18-34 demographic, and if
there's anything Dose can do to
make youth in Canada aware of the
risks of getting a dose, then it should
do it. Prat said. IB
AMS President proposes
adding new assembly
New appointed assembly would make
no decisions, only deliberate
Representation concerns for
new UBC Council of Senates
by Uan McKoberts
Alma Mater Society (AMS) President Spencer
Keys has a thing for reforming UBC's student
Last year, Keys worked to eliminate slates
from the AMS, and now he has a new idea he
believes will help the society do a better job
of engaging the student body. Keys wants the
AMS to consider creating an assembly body
made up of appointed representatives from
constituencies, clubs and service groups.
The AMS Assembly would have no decisionmaking power but would discuss and draft
policy motions and advise the AMS Council
on issues.
"We [the AMS] are in a situation in terms
of relevancy to students where we need to do
major things," Keys said. "It might fail, but
that doesn't matter."
Keys believes that there are students who
would like to become involved in the AMS,
but that council meetings, with their lengthy
in camera sessions, discourage them. An
AMS Assembly would be a more welcoming
venue, Keys said.
"It's going to provide [students] the
authority to speak and give opportunity to
meet with like-minded student activists."
Another aspect of Keys' efforts to improve
the connection between student government
and its constituents is a proposed first-year
caucus that would encourage new students
to become involved in the political side of
the society from the outset.
"We want to create some sort of body for
first year students to get involved because
right now there's nothing," Keys said.
Representatives from that body would also
sit on the proposed AMS Assembly.
Trying to get more students engaged in
the society is a good idea, according to AMS
Board of Governors representative Quinn
Omori, but creating an entire assembly may
not be the way to go about it.
"I think it's positive that we see the
President doing something to try and change
the structure of the AMS in a way that
engages more people," he said. "From a practical standpoint...I think we should start
smaller and build up to it. I don't necessarily agree that this is the best way to do it, but
just because I disagree doesn't mean that I
think that this whole idea is out to lunch."
It's often a struggle to find candidates to
fill the current Council and it won't be much
different with a new assembly, Omori said.
He would prefer to see the AMS pursue
smaller, issue-specific forums.
"Our campus development forums were
good two years ago...I think there are issues
we know people are passionate about," he
said, citing tuition and the recent renegotiation of the U-Pass as examples.
Claiming that students won't participate
in the new assembly is no reason to decide
against forming one, Keys said. "I don't see
how creating it would do any harm," he continued.
At this stage, Keys has had only a "few
informal discussions" about his idea and
hopes to work on the proposal with the AMS
Code and Policies Committee in the summer
months. If the project evolves into something other than his original proposal, Keys
said it wouldn't bother him.
"As long as it happens or something happens to reach out to students," he said.
Should the committee eventually agree
on the format for an assembly, it would only
require a two-thirds majority in AMS Council
to be constituted.
It would be the first time in AMS history
that two assemblies existed side-by-side,
according to AMS Archivist Sheldon
Goldfarb. The Student Administrative
Commission (SAC) had greater executive
power within the AMS during the 1970's and
80's, Goldfarb said, but there has never been
a second large assembly since AMS Council
was constituted in 1915. II
by Dan McRoberts
The Council of Senates, a new body that will
oversee the UBC Vancouver and UBC
Okanagan Senates beginning in the fall, has
student senators concerned that they may
not have a seat at the table.
"The UBC Senate has a fine balance of
representatives and we felt that the current
Council of Senates composition didn't reflect
that," said student senator Gina Eom.
The Council will deal with academic matters that affect both UBC campuses, including harmonising policies within the UBC system. With such important matters in its mandate, Eom and her fellow senators believe
that it is crucial that student representatives
have a strong voice.
The provincial University Act was amended late last year in order to create the
Council of Senates. According to the law, the
body will be made up of representatives
from the two campus senates, including the
UBC President, both vice-presidents academic, up to ten senate committee chairs and
four other non-discretionary representatives
to be elected from the Vancouver and
Okanagan senates.
Although the University Act as written
does not prevent students from serving as
non-discretionary representatives, the law
also designates that each Council member
must serve a term of three years. Currently,
student senators at UBC are elected to one-
year terms.
Eom doubts that many students would be
interested in serving on an administrative
body for three years consecutively, and
hopes that the universal three-year requirement may be dropped. However, the student
senate caucus hopes to secure designated
student seats on the Council of Senates
as well.
The student senators proposed a series of
amendments to the University Act in early
February. Their vision of the Council makeup includes three seats for student representatives from both the Vancouver and
Okanagan campuses, increasing the number
of non-discretionary representatives to six
from four and reducing the number of committee chairs that are guaranteed positions.
Concerns over representation had also
been raised by the faculty association and
convocation" senators, worried that they
lacked guaranteed representation on the
new Council. The student proposal led to an
ad hoc committee being struck at the March
Senate meeting.
The committee will investigate options
for ensuring balanced representation and
hopes to bring a report back to the Senate in
May, Eom said.
"Changing the University Act would be
the most secure way of making sure students
are represented," she said.
"If the committee recommends changes
to the University Act, it is unlikely that any
further amendments will be made to legislation before the fall," said University Counsel
Hubert Lai, who is advising the committee.
"In purely pragmatic terms no significant
legislative work will be done before the election," Lai said, adding that the government is
also unlikely to revisit the University Act during the summer months.
UBC was consulted during the drafting
process for the original amendment, Lai
explained, but not all of the University's suggestions were taken into account. For example, UBC had advised that a three-year term
requirement made little sense for students,
but that was not included in the law when it
was drafted.
"I don't really understand why they would
do that," Lai said. The omission may be the
result of a clerical error, he added, and if
that was the case the government could probably alter the law to include a shorter term
for student representatives.
On the other hand, changing the overall
makeup of the Council of Senates involves
fundamental amendments to a portion of the
University Act, something that will not be
easy to achieve, according to Lai.
"Legislative change is a slim possibility in
my view," he said. "But only the government
can really say how likely it would be."
Notwithstanding any legislative changes,
there are internal policies that the Senate
can pass regarding the election of their representatives for the Council, Lai said.
"There are plenty of things that the Senate
could do within the framework of the current
University Act," he said. IB
\:;*v-«f- .■C'-.smcki! 6
Feeling sinister?
Left-handed students are learning
things the hard way at UBC
Friday, April 8,2005
by Simon Underwood
It isn't easy being left-handed in a
right-handed world, and educational
institutions have historically been no
exception to the rule.
Roman Catholic schools in the
United States once cast left-handed-
ness as the work of the devil-
accounts from students educated by
the system in the 1920s and 30s
testify to ridicule, corporal punishment, and the indignity of having
one's left hand physically restrained
during writing classes.
But considering the slow but
steady pedagogical embrace of
"access and diversity" by activist
administrators and students at
Canadian universities, it would seem
reasonable to assume that most pubHc institutions would be welcoming
left-handed students with open,
ambidextrous arms.
But according to University of
Saskatchewan student Dave
Stonhouse, while the instruments of
oppression may have changed, the
song remains the same.
In November of last year,
Stonhouse rattled off a fiery letter to
the USask campus paper The Sheaf
"with [his] left hand," accusing the
USask administration of "intentionally segregat[ing] our [left-handed]
kind* and "forcfing] our brethren
against each other, as [lefthanders]
compete against two or three others
for one desk."
The Sheaf received a handful of
letters with similar complaints, but
Stonhouse's tract read especially passionate, as he sent out a cry to his left-
handed "comrades" to join him in the
coming "left-olution."
His call-to-arms hit a nerve, but
the revolution turned out to be a quieter than Stonhouse might have
expected. A student involved with the
USask Student Union contacted the
chair of the university's Class
Enhancement Committee (CEC) after
becoming reading about the concern.
The complaint was passed along to
Cheryl Sedgewick, responsible for
room scheduling in her position with
USask Facilities Management.
Sedgewick proved herself to be a
staunch right-handed ally; the CEC
launched an inventory of every small
classroom at the institution—rooms
with under 150 seats—and determined a shortage of 60 left-oriented
"We acted as quickly as we possibly could," Sedgewick said of the
University's response. "We got on it"
New left-handed desks were installed
before winter exams.
In light of their success, it is still
unclear whether the left-handed radicals at USask included a Trotskyist
faction petitioning for global "left-olution," but it does beg the question of
whether there are other underground resistance movements mobilising at universities across the country.
It certainly isn't difficult to find a
left-handed student with a complaint
about the conditions here at UBC.
According to Michael Kwag, a third-
year PoHtical Science major, left-
handed students face chaUenges
often unbeknownst to the right-handed majority.
"In situations where I'm walking
to class late or I have an exam, it's
really difficult to find a left-handed
desk that will serve my own individual needs," he said. "It really hurts
"i actually sat on
the floor of my
Women's Studies
class for a week, but
my pants got too
dirty and i had to
go back to a desk."
-Brianna Wells
fourth-year English
Honours student
your arm after a while and it leaves
marks on your hand," although he
notes that "has more to do with the
Brianna Wells, a fourth-year
English Honours student, has weathered similar frustrations.
"In my Victorian Hterature seminar there are four left-handed people
out of 17 students, and there's only
one left-handed desk in the room. So
every Friday there's a big discussion
about who's going to get the desk,
and I usually end up martyring
myself at the expense of my arm.
"I actually sat on the floor of my
Women's Studies class for a week,
but my pants got too dirty and I had
to go back to a desk," she admitted.
Kwag and Wells were unaware of
the "left-olution" at USask at the time
of interview, but both expressed solidarity with the grassroots movement
in the Prairies. Neither were aware of
any recourses available to them as
left-handed students.
"The AMS and UBC need to
address this problem," said Kwag.
But when contacted for comment,
VP Academic Gavin Dew wasn't
aware that there was one. While he
asserts that "the AMS governmental
structure is anything but right-centric," left-handed advocacy is not high
ARE YOU PART OF THE LEFT-OLUTION?: Left handed students of the world unite. End the right-
handed hierarchy. You have nothing to lose but your knuckle-cramps, nic fensom photo
on his poHtical agenda, although he
has friends and family members that
are left-handed.
"To be honest, the question
[regarding left-handed access] was
a bolt out of the blue," he said, noting that the Ubysseyis the only entity "who has ever contacted [him]
about such issues." As far as Dew
knows, the AMS has not addressed
this issue before, and currently
does not provide resources to left-
handed students.
"Perhaps there is a huge, unacknowledged issue out there," he
acknowledged, but nothing had
crossed his desk until now.
According to Justin Marples,
director of Classroom Services, the
university began to address the issue
of left-handed seating five years ago
when the department was created.
1*110    ITltontinT!
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ine intention was to provide a centralised body for desk and furniture
allocation, a responsibifity formerly
shared by individual faculties and
Plant Ops in a patchwork arrangement that often suffered from gaping
The department of Classroom
Services is now responsible for about
18,000 seats in 279 classrooms, and
it is their standard practise, not "university poHcy, but department poHcy"
to orientate ten per cent of the desks
for left-handed students.
When Cheryl Sedgewick and the
USask Classroom Enhancement
Committee polled other universities
on their poHcy for left-handed students, this percentile was found to be
the norm across the country.
So why are Kwag and WeUs having problems? For one, both are
students in the Faculty of Arts.
Eighty per cent of the classrooms
at UBC meet the ten per cent criteria, but while Buchanan is slated
for an overhaul as part of the UBC
Renew project scheduled for com
pletion in 2006, the building currently lags behind the accessibility
improvements already made to
other facilities on campus.
Buchanan A, B, and D employ the
majority of the 3,700 fixed wooden
tablets still in use, and it is these
rooms where a shortage of left-handed desks is likely to found.
Second, Classroom Services may
allocate ten per cent of desks for left-
handed students, but whether these
desks stay put is another problem
entirely. There are 6,700 moveable
tablet desks, and a quick survey of the
second floor of Buchanan B found a
the world is right-
handed, so you kind
of have to work
around it and get
used to it. Usually,
it's not too difficult."
-Derek Eidick
second-year Arts student
stratification in left-handed desk distribution anging from six to 17 per
cent. So a comfortable arrangement
one week may devolve into
Darwinian anarchy the next.
Third, the ten per cent figure
might be low-balling it just a fittle.
According to Dr Stanley Coren, dog
enthusiast and left-handed academic with the department of
Psychology here at UBC, the ten per
cent encompasses all left-handers
within the gross North American
As left-handers die on average
seven years younger than right-handers, this factor pulls the mean percentage down. According to Coren,
the percentage of left-handed young
adults at a university "is probably
closer to 13 per cent."
But Marples is more than willing
to adjust the allocation if necessary.
"We can change that anytime—good,
if it's 13 per cent, we'll do 13. Not a
cost issue. When we address the
room as a whole, we'll make sure
we gradually get there."
A left-hander himself, Marples
is "sympathetic" to the challenges
left-handed students may face, but
notes that the department has
received only a handful of complaints over the past five years.
And about 8,000 of the seats
under the auspices of Classroom
Services are ambidextrous tables
that provide universal access, and
this is the direction to which both
UBC and USask are intend to head
in future.
Still, Marples stresses that
Classroom Services is here to help.
"You may be identified," referring most likely the possibility
being supplied an ugly monster
desk engraved with lovelorn initials
and 'Ethics Blows,' "but you will be
accommodated," he promises.
And while Coren acknowledged
the hassles that tablet seating can
create for a left-handed student, he
feels that a desk designation of ten
to 13 per cent is probably appropriate, "given that left-handed students are in the minority." The
professor is more concerned with
the concrete dangers posed by
"industrial equipment orientated
for right-handed people;" issues of
segregation or identified handedness are of less consequence in
Second-year Arts student Derek
Eidick shrugs in agreement.
"Ninety percent of the world is
right-handed, so you kind of have to
work around it and get used to it.
Usually, it's not too difficult." II
Telus donates to UBC
Robson Square
Telus has donated $2.4 million to
UBC, $2 million of which will go
toward funding the university's
Robson Square campus. Of this
amount, $ 1 million is a capital con
tribution, and another $1 million
will provide the campus with information technology networks, products and research collaboration
through the extension of a strategic
alliance established in 1999.
Telus is also contributing
$300,000 for e-learning infrastructure at UBC's Point Grey campus.
Double bogey
UBC will stay at arm's length from
any consultation between the
Musqueam and the provincial government over the fate of the
University Golf Course, said a UBC
"We asked the government to
verify they had consulted and
accommodated with First Nations
groups," said Dennis Pavlich, VP
External and Legal Affairs. "They
wrote and said they had...that
made our contract with them
A recent BC Court of Appeal ruling said the provincial government had failed in its duty to consult with the Musqueam over the
order to sell the $ll-miUion golf
course to UBC, in what the band
claims are its traditional territories. The judges put. a hold on the
sale for two years and ordered
both parties  to  consult in good
faith in that time.
That means UBC owns the golf
course at least until the government's discussions with the
Musqueam are finished, said
Pavlich, and UBC, as a third party
in treaty negotiations, has no duty
to consult.
The university bought the golf
course last year as an investment
and as part of its University Town
developments, and promised to
keep it a public golf course.
NDP candidate blasts UBC
In  a letter  to the  editor  of the
Vancouver Province,  provincial
NDP candidate for Point Grey Mel
Lehan expressed her concern
about UBC's university town plan,
which includes plans to build market housing units that wiU generate funds for UBC's endowment.
"If there is room for luxury condos, why not make room for more
housing co-ops for families  and
student rental  accommodation?
wrote Lehan in her letter.
"UBC town planners should be
working with community groups
to ensure our precious environmental endowment and local community is protected."
Lehan is running against
Premier Gordon Campbell. II
Friday, April 8,2005
Lack of parking
plagues park and
ride commuters
SkyTrain travelers lack lots, mall operators tow
by Sara Norman
The SkyTrain is a great, cost-effective way to travel to and from
Vancouver, especially to UBC.
However, commuters choosing to
Park and Ride are left to find alternative places to leave their cars
due to a lack of parking lots and
local stores reserving their parking for customers only.
"[Translink] made a fairly serious error [in not building parking
lots]," said Ken Denike, a
Geography professor at UBC. "In
terms of the city, this creates some
real inconvenience...[This] inadequacy makes a 'hide and ride' situation, exasperating the public in
the surrounding area."
When Translink was contacted
about this issue, their clerk's
response was that purchasing land
was too expensive and this made it
impossible to provide parking lots
where SkyTrain stations are located.
There are Park and Ride services,
but they are located far from the
actual SkyTrain stations and often
owned by independent companies.
In Coquitlam, for example, the
Park and Ride service is located on
United Boulevard, only a five
minute bus ride to Lougheed or
Braid SkyTrain stations, without
traffic, but there are only 300
spaces available with buses stopping only every fifteen minutes to
half hour. Coquitlam Station
(across from Coquitlam Centre)
provides almost a thousand Park
and Ride spaces, but the bus ride
is twenty minutes to the SkyTrain
station without traffic compared to
the ten-minute drive.
An alternative to the Park and
Ride services is driving to the
Gilmore Station in Burnaby and
utilising the independently owned
pay-parking lot there, according to
Translink. Essentially this defeats
the purpose of commuting via
SkyTrain, especially for those coming from suburban areas such as
New Westminster or Coquitlam.
The Gilmore SkyTrain station is
only three stops away from
Commercial Drive.
When contacted, Translink
head office spokesperson Susan
Danard stated the buying of land
for parking lots fell within provincial jurisdiction and the cost of
land was a major deterrent.
"Land value goes up when
SkyTrain stations [are built]," said
Danard. She said this made it
impossible for the provincial government to obtain land for parking
"Land value goes
up when SkyTrain
stations [are built].
—Susan Danard
Translink head office
lots. Danard also shared that local
residences voiced opposition of
Translink providing parking lots
as they didn't want increased traffic that they believed a Translink-
/SkyTrain    station   parking   lot
SEARS SHOPPERS? Not everyone in this parking lot. sara norman photo
would attract.
Lougheed Centre in Burnaby
establish via signs and patrolling
security guards that their parking
lots are only to be used by mall shoppers. The security guards crack
down on violators regularly with
parking fines and towing of cars.
"Our priority is our customers
and not to provide [the] Skytrain
station," stated Claude Lalande,
head of parking and security at
Lougheed Centre.
Sears Outlet, owners of a parking lot directly beside the
Lougheed SkyTrain station, also
tickets cars using the lot as a park
and ride. Other malls and stores
along the SkyTrain lines followed
suit, leaving commuters scrambling for sparse parking on side
streets and taking their chances
with tickets.
However, with few options, all of
them inconvenient, commuters
still flock to areas near SkyTrain
stations. Cars are frequently parked
at Lougheed Centre in a slightly
dilapidated parking lot, their backpack-laden owners walking to the
SkyTrain station. The parking lot,
previously the Lougheed bus loop
before the present SkyTrain station
was built, is Lougheed Mall property, but signs only state, "Park at
your own risk." The lot is haphazardly barricaded and cars simply
manoeuvre around the blockade to
park within.
Those who park on the lot are
sometimes questioned upon returning about whether or not they were
using the area for park and ride purposes, and even ticketed.
"It's illegal to park there and
use another means of transportation to leave our property," said
Lalande. "Our centre provides
parking for customers only and
not for SkyTrain use...We have
plans for that piece of property,
but for the time being we haven't
touched it and that's why it's...not
for access or public use."
Those commuters who are
unwilling to risk receiving viola
tion tickets struggle to find a parking space on local back streets,
which are generally filled with
bumper-to-bumper parallel park-
ers during peak commuting hours.
Will commuting facilities be
improved in the near future?
Translink is working to improve bus services offered, said
Danard, but there are still areas,
in the Fraser Valley especially, that
have little or no bus service, making commuting to SkyTrain stations and struggling for parking
spots the only choice.
Lalande has some advice for
fed up commuters.
"Lobby your ML A... SkyTrain
has provided very little parking for
it's users and that's not a good
thing because overall, we're trying
to encourage people to use transit
rather than bring their cars into
the city...to save on fuel and the
environment...but in the process
they've omitted to dedicate a parcel of land for people to drive up
and use the SkyTrain." II
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Friday, April 8,2005
A wild thrill ride at UBC
Reflecting on the important events of 2004/2005
Changing the face of UBC
This year saw many developments
on campus. New buildings appeared
and the bus loop was relocated.
South Campus underwent significant changes as market housing
units were completed at amazing
speeds. Main Library construction
began as the building is converted
into the Irving K. Barber Learning
Centre. And it doesn't stop there.
The University Boulevard
Architectural Competition is underway, with three firms competing to
redesign the entire centre of campus. A jury has been chosen to select
the top design and present it to
UBC's Board of Governors in May.
The results ofa campus-wide poll
will also be passed on to the jury for
consideration in the final selection.
Students, faculty, staff, alumni and
campus residents had the opportunity to provide input on the designs.
The winning firm will be announced
in late spring, according to U-Town
The entire University Boulevard
project will be completed in 2008.
Wreck disputes
Four student residence towers
being built along Southwest Marine
Drive caused much controversy this
year between the university and
members of the Wreck Beach
Preservation Society (WBPS).
The WBPS argued that the height
of the towel's would destroy Ihe historic viewscape of the cliffs above
Wreck Beach. UBC responded by
reducing the height of a tower and
moving the development back from
the road.
One tower is currently under
construction, with the remaining
three towers awaiting approval.
Piper (and Bort)
announce departure
President Martha Piper announced
in March that she would be leaving
office at the end of the next academic year, one year before her contract
is set to expire.
"UBC has excelled over the last
nine years and I am very proud of
that. It is time for a new leader to
take it to its next stage of development," said Piper.
Piper became the university's
eleventh president in 1997 after
serving as a vice president at the
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VOTING FOR THE U-PASS: The January transit pass referendum
had a record turnout, nic fensom photo
University of Alberta.
The board has begun the process
of searching for a replacement, but
it will be some time before any candidates are announced. Piper is confident that she will be succeeded by
a well-qualified individual.
"UBC is positioned to attract the
finest leader in this country.*
U-Pass returns
In January, a record 19,192 students voted in favour of continuing
the U-Pass program at price
increase of $2 per month.
The U-Pass question, part of a
larger referendum, ensured the continuation of the U-Pass program
until 2008.
Former Alma Mater Society
(AMS) VP External Holly Foxcroft
said that the referendum results
indicate strong student concern
with the continuation of the program.
"Almost 53 per cent of the student population came out to say yes
to continuing the U-Pass, which is
very, very encouraging and I think it
demonstrates the success of the program and the continuing desire to
have it," she said.
Foxcroft added that student-led
initiatives played an important role
in drawing such a large turnout.
African Studies
closer to reality
UBC moved one step closer to having
an African Studies program when
the Faculty of Arts announced a plan
THE FOUR TOWERS: UBC's new residence buildings, located
along Marine Drive, have created controversy, nic fensom photo
to establish an interdisciplinary
minor in the field in the near future.
The announcement was made by
the Dean of Arts in January. A minor
may be in place in the next two or
three years.
"We're trying to identify courses
within the Faculty of Arts and within
the university that have African
themes in them or some content that
pertains to Africa," explained John
Cooper, an associate dean from the
Faculty of Arts.
The Faculty will also be looking
into creating a full major in African
Studies, though it will be some time
before this is implemented.
Tuition increases
once more
The universitv is counting on a 3.6
per cent jump in tuition revenues for
2005/2006, making it the fourth
year in a row students will be asked
to pay more for a UBC education.
The Board of Governors
approved an interim version of the
university's general budget in
March, a document that included the
planned tuition increase.
Although tuition is unlikely to
increase further, the budget numbers are not final because university
administrators are still lobbying the
provincial government for an additional $ 15 million in funding.
"There is an agreement to work
for a higher number," President
Martha Piper said. "We would bring
that back to the board in September."
Piper said that she felt quite sure
of convincing the government to provide the additional $ 15 million.
Food bank for
students arrives
UBC now has a functioning food
bank for students.
After much research and preparation, the emergency facility
opened its doors this term, serving
student needs.
The food bank project has been
organised through the cooperation
of the AMS, the UBC Red Cross and
the Ismali Students Association
(ISA). The intention is to run the facility as a pilot project to assess
The food bank is located in the
SUB basement beside the Wellness
Centre and across from the Food
Co-op. II
—compiled by Sarah Bourdon
Friday, April 8,2005
BC's newest university opens
Martin, Harper, Campbell attend
ceremonies marking birth of
Thompson Rivers University
by Marcel Tetrault
KAMLOOPS, B.C. (CUP)-There was pomp,
protest and politicians—including the Prime
Minister—on campus from March 31 to April 2
for the official opening of Thompson Rivers
University, formerly the University College of the
Cariboo, in Kamloops, BC.
The festivities began with the pomp—professors and other dignitaries parading through campus in their caps and robes March 31. The politicians—Conservative Leader Stephen Harper,
Premier Gordon Campbell, Advanced Education
Minister Ida Chong, Kamloops Mayor Mel
Rothenburger and others—all similarly decked
out, trailed them.
The procession made its way through the
protest, about 50 strong and there to let the politicians, particularly Campbell, know that they were
not pleased with the ballooning costs of post-secondary education. According to the Canadian
Federation of Students, university students in BC
previously paying $8,000 a year in tuition when
the Liberals took power in 2001 now pay
$14,000 a year.
Following a short announcement at the
school's Convocation Wall, the opening ceremony began in the university gym. The ceremony
began with an Aboriginal theme, including a First
Nations blessing and a performance by six
Aboriginal students who played a traditional
Native drum song.
After the drummers, Campbell inaugurated
Olympic skiing gold medallist Nancy Greene
Raine as the university's first chancellor. Greene
Raine is a controversial figure among the Native
community because of the Sun Peaks ski resort.
Five of the six drummers were wearing T-
shirts reading: "Sun Peaks Destroying
Secwepemc Land. Boycott Nancy Greene's
Cahilty Lodge."
As soon as the politicians got a chance to
speak, the TRU puns started flying.
"Today marks a true achievement," said Betty
Hinton, member of Parliament for Kamloops-
FUDDY DADDY: PM unfurls new University Opening, cup/omega photo
"This is truly a momentous day for
Kamloops...we are truly in the big leagues," said
Claude Richmond, member of the legislative
assembly for Kamloops.
By then, the crowd was groaning.
Rothenburger and Kamloops-North Thompson
MLA Kevin Krueger spoke next, and mercifully, if
they had TRU puns planned, they nixed the
notion after the reception received by Richmond,
and offered the usual platitudes.
Following the ceremony, Harper was asked
about the Conservative party's plan to make post-
secondaiy education more affordable. He mentioned income-contingent loan-repayment and
educational support programs, and went on to
say a major focus of a Conservative government
would be to have international students help pay
for Canadians' educations.
"Our universities need better marketing
around the world," said Harper. "The fees paid by
international students allow cross-subsidisation
of Canadian students."
The opening festivities continued April 1, with
presentations and a panel discussion about the
fiiture of the new university, but the main event
was the arrival of Prime Minister Paul Martin,
who was the university's first official guest.
Martin toured the computer automated systems lab in the trades and technology centre,
where he tried his skills at controlling a robotic
He then gave a 30-second speech outside the
building, and remarked how much he liked the
campus. Similar to Harper and Campbell's visit
March 31, Martin was dogged by protesters, this
time trying to persuade the prime minister to not
allow US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice
entry into Canada.
After his short visit, Martin's phalanx of security guards whisked him away, and with that,
Thompson Rivers University was born. II
Uniwersity of Alberta peace and gowernance program in the works
Certificate looks to study links between governing institutions and building peace in war-torn countries
Herald and the Edmonton Journal, suggesting a
peace program at the University of Alberta.
Subsequent meetings with university president
Rod Fraser and funding from Grantham got the
wheels turning. Now Knight is leading the
charge to establish the program.
Knight said the proposed certificate offers a
new dimension to the analysis of post-war reconstruction and, if approved, could offer studies
that are unique to Canada and in high demand
all over the world.
To his knowledge, only the United Nations
University in Tokyo offers a comparable program, and there are over 60 countries currently
coming out of conflict that face a dearth of academic work on social reconstruction.
This gap in knowledge is one reason the
University of Alberta is interested in pursuing
the certificate.
"We welcome the initiative. We do think there
is student interest and we think the subject is
important So, we're eager to see the certificate
through the approvals process and implemented as part of a process of doing more in this
area,* said Gurston Dacks, associate dean for
research at the faculty of arts.
As Dacks noted, the certificate is only the first
step in a long-term vision for the program.
Knight hopes after a one-year trial, and with
enough student support, the certificate will grow
into full-fledged degree programs in peace and
governance at the BA, MA and PhD levels, and
eventually retain enough support to establish a
research centre.
"In my opinion, [a research centre] is
extremely vital and important because the work
done at the centre will help to underscore the
teaching that is done in the field of peace and
governance," said Knight H
by Cosanna Preston
EDMONTON (CUP)—Students at the University of
Alberta could soon give peace a chance if a new
certificate program receives the green light from
the faculty of arts and university administration.
A proposal for a peace and governance certificate, which would complement an undergraduate degree, is currently working its way
through the administrative approval process.
The program's director, political-science professor W. Andy Knight, hopes to see it up and running by September 2006, and said the certificate
would offer students the chance to study the links
between national governance institutions and
rebuilding peace in war-torn countries.
"Basically, what we are trying to show is that
if you want to build sustainable peace, you have
to have good governance structures in
place...From reconstruction of societies that
have been torn apart by war or rebuilding institutions of governance that are in countries considered failed states, how do you go about doing
that?" Knight said, noting the road to peace is a
complex trek that must involve studying the
underlying causes of the initial conflict
Knight said the goal is to teach students about
these root causes and how to deal with them or
design governance structures to prevent them.
He admits such research is only in its infancy. So, according to Knight, the work that would
be done at the university through the certificate
would be "cutting-edge."
Deanna Douglas, the initiatives co-ordinator
at the provost's office, stressed the strength of
the proposal lies in its focus on governance and
its link to peace.
PEACE TRAIN: W. Andy Knight wants his
route to start in Edmonton, AB. cup photo
"The area of governance as it applies to peace
is something that needs a lot of academic work
and that isn't being done on any engaged or serious scale in the academic institutions right
now," she said.
The certificate was initially proposed by Ron
Grantham, a retired engineer from Edmonton
who wrote letters to the editors of the Calgary
Student's EBay
auction draws fire
by Adam Riggio
ST. JOHN'S, Nfld. (CUP)-Craig Green is
one of the Memorial University of
Newfoundland student union's newly
elected vice-presidents, and until recently, his EBay account was responsible for
an auction hawking space on his book-
bag for advertising.
The auction opened March 30, and a
post titled Great Space for a Cheap
Price! read: "I am the new MUNSU vice-
president external of media relations
and government communications. This
is a great chance to gain exposure for
your business or company logo!"
The page featured a picture of Green
holding his book-bag with a sign reading
"Your Ad Here." He was also giving a
The post continued with an appeal—
"Come on goldenpalace.com"—referring
to the world's largest Internet-based
gambling website, known to have advertised on people's clothing in the past.
This contradicts the Memorial
University of Newfoundland Students'
Union's policy on discouraging student
It was not long before students
noticed the post and informed the outgoing student union executive. Green
was quickly told to close the auction
before any bids were placed.
Outgoing external vice-president
Luke Gaulton criticised his successor's
"Trying to benefit financially from an
elected position in the student union is
not right," he said.
Gaulton would not comment directly
on the reference to the online gambling
site, saying the wording was open to
"When I first read it over, I wasn't
sure why that was there," he said. "But
some people have read it as interpreting
it as he wanted them to be the ones to
advertise there."
Green declined to be interviewed,
saying his legal advisor told him it
would be better to issue a written statement.
"The EBay situation was part of a
birthday prank which all started around
my kitchen table at a party Wednesday
night. Some 'funny' ideas were being
expressed amongst friends on ways to
lower student debt. During this time
several pictures were taken, one
appeared in a listing on EBay under my
user ID," Green said in an e-mail to the
"Because of the EBay user seller
agreement, I accept full responsibly for
the fisting. Fellow students, word of
advice, never use your girlfriend's
name as a password. I sincerely apologise to my fellow students, future council and to the present union for this
ridiculous ordeal. At the time of this
event, I was unaware of the bylaws for
the conflict of interest section, which, I
thank Les [MacFadden, outgoing president] for explaining to me."
Student Bill Kennedy disapproves of
the auction.
"I think it's fairly senseless that a
MUNSU executive would be engaging in
this kind of activity," Kennedy said.
"I think there's enough advertising
around anyway. Soon you'll have students going around with advertisements on everybody's book-bag, and
that would be a little insane."
Janet Hawco, another student, called
it "disgusting."
Despite the quick closure of the auction, there have been rumours Green
could face censure over the incident
"There isn't really any sort of concrete complaint" Gaulton said. "But people have been complaining, saying he
should resign or should be censured. But
that's really up to next year's council/ M 10
year in review
"It's like trying to get all the balls in
the air and trying to catch them all/7
—Joe Redmond/ UBC
..the fPbf ssey masaiiiie
Friday, April 8,2005
Alpine Skiing
USACA finish: 5th
Compiled by Eric Szeto SPORTS EDITOR
Photos by Yinan Max Wang PHOTOGRAPHY STAFF
who eliminated them from the playoffs lastyear. The game takes place in
two weeks time.
After a solid fifth (m) and eighth (w)
place finish at last years finals, the
Birds looked to build on that success.
Returnee Andrea Lustenberger finished in the top 15 while Katie
Benjamin and Joanna Rosenfeld both
finished in the top 30. Trevor Bruce
and departing Matt Woods all had
strong showing at this year's nationals on the men's side.
NAIA Region I record: (16-1)
NAIA Region I standings: 1st
Starting the season 15-0 may be a
good indicator of where the Birds
stand three weeks into the season.
The Birds look to redeem themselves
when they play against Concordia,
Women's basketball
Conference record (12-8)
Canada West standings: 4th
CIS championships: DNQ
The problem with being on top is that
there's nowhere to go but down. This
year the women's basketball team
had a chance to repeat as national
champions but were unable to come
out of Canada West, losing to UVic 63-
56 in the bronze medal game.
Although nearing the top statistically in every category in Canada
West, the Birds never really got their
bearings. The loss of team captain
Sheila Townsend, who was fifth in
CanWest scoring will be another blow
to  the  T-Birds  roster  next year.
Players like third-year forward Kelsey
Blair and guard Erica McGuinness
will have to step up and fill the void.
Men's basketball
Conference record (11-9)
Pacific Division standings: 2nd
Canada West Standings: 6th
CIS championships: DNQ
Topsy-turvy Birds. UBC's ability to
squander big leads, and play incon
sistently all year was the team's
Achilles heel. This year marked the
first time in three years that the Birds
did not advance to the CIS championships after a crushing loss to UVic
in the Pacific Division Final.
The additions of former CIS scoring champ Pasha Bains, who sat out
last season and all-star high-schooler
Brett Levesque will give the Birds a
much needed boost in an already
strong backcourt next year. The loss
of fifth-year forwards Corey OgQivie
and Pete Wauthy will be sorely
missed, as much of the Birds low post
presence depended on those two.
Cross Country
NAIA finish: 2nd (w) 6th (m)
Things are looking up for the UBC
cross-country team. In the NAIA
cross-country final, the women's
team placed second, a UBC best
since joining the NAIA. Look for
junior Celia Ambery and sophomores Shannon Elmer and Heather
McEwen to further the women's
success next year. The men's side
also had a memorable year, finishing sixth at the NAIA finals, tying a
UBC best.
Field Hockey
Conference record (9-0)
Canada West standings: 1st
CIS championships: 1st
The field Birds officially claimed
dynasty status after a perfect season.
Heavily favored to repeat as national
champs, the field Birds didn't disappoint as they out dueled every opponent they faced.
UBC now ties UVic for most
national titles at ten after beating
their UVic rivals 3-0. CIS MVP and
team captain Stephanie Jameson will
leave a huge hole for the Birds next
year, as she will be graduating this
spring. Fortunately, the team is so
deep that her departure may not
even make a dent in the lineup.
Goaltender Sarah Duggan will be
returning and so will explosive forward Stephanie Quinn. The Birds
look towards winning their third consecutive title this September.
Conference record (5-3)
Canada West standings: 3rd
CIS championships: DNQ
Few words can describe the huge
turnaround the football team
achieved this season. Tarnished with
memories of a winless 0-8 season last
year, the Birds revamped their
offense, and added players like all-
star running back Chris Czieki to
their lineup. At times UBC's offensive
prowess exceeded all expectations,
while at other times, the Birds looked
like a young and indecisive team.
This led to a 5-3 record that surprised
A lackluster playoff showing
against powerhouse Saskatchewan
belittled all the Birds had achieved
throughout the year as they were
blanked 39-0. For these young Birds
it was a learning experience, and
with a year under their belt, they
come back next season a little more
refined and ready to play for more.
en s go
NAIA Region I ranking: 3rd
Best finish: 1st BC Challenge
Currently ranked third in NAIA
Region I standings, the men's golf
Birds have won only one tournament all season, placing first at the
BC Challenge. After good start to
the season the Birds tailed off. A
recent second place result at the
SFU invitational may be the catalyst
that gets things going again for
men's golf Birds—just in time for
the NAIA region I championships,
which take place at the end of this
omen s
Current NAIA region I ranking: 1st
Best   finish:    1st   Vikes   Turkey
The defending NAIA champs have
had solid outings all season long. Two
top five finishes, including a recent
fourth place finish at the Grand
Canyon Women's invitational have
kept the champs on good pace to
defend their crown. Led by Jana
Haggins who has finished second
and fifth in her last two tournaments
and a recovered Morgan Lederhouse,
the Birds should be in good standing
to repeat. The NAIA region I championships take place at the end of this
Friday, April 8, 2005
isey. masaii.iic
Men's hockey
Conference record: (5-16-6)
Mountain Division standings: 3rd
Canada West standings: 6th
CIS championships: DNQ
Sneaking into the playoffs after
going the first half of the season 0-
15-2 might have been something
short of a miracle. Decimated by
injuries and plagued by inconsistent play from all areas, the UBC
men's hockey team seemed destined to join the ranks of the 100
loss Detroit Tigers of two years ago.
But fortunately going into the winter break UBC was a measly two
points out of a playoff spot, and
were not mathematically eliminated from the playoff picture. That
could be attributed to one team
specifically, the Lethbridge
Pronghorns. Fighting for the coveted last playoff spot, the Lethbridge
Pronghorns and the T-Birds dueled
the old-fashioned way, with scrappy, penalty filled affairs. The Birds
eventually won three of the four
matches against Lethbridge.
Once in the playoffs, all efforts
were futile—UBC was swept in three
A new power line, fitfully named
the TNT line emerged after the New
Year, as newcomer Kyle Bruce, Casey
Bartzen and Dustin Paul combined
for an astounding 38 points in eight
games. Look for them to continue
their success next year.
star Tyrne Russell and captain
Marjorie Sorensen will be hard to
omen s
Conference record: (5-13-2)
Canada West standings: 6th
CIS championships: DNQ
Every team in the CIS had to contend
with the Alberta Pandas who possessed an unprecedented 110 game
unbeaten record. The Birds playoff
hopes hinged on ascertaining one
point against the Pandas, and in their
final two games, they were unable to
achieve that. A rather disappointing
year fuelled by sporadic play led to
the Birds demise. The loss of graduating goaltender and second team-all
omen s rowing
Canadian University Rowing championships: 1st
2004 marked the first time in UBC
history the women's rowing team has
won the Canadian rowing championship. A narrow .001 second win
highlighted the November tournament for the women.
Men's rowing
With the additions of Olympian
Ben Rutledge to the rowing roster,
the Birds received an immediate
upgrade. Throw Kyle Hamilton
and Rob Weidemeyer into the mix,
and the results have already come
to fruition. A recent win at the
Brown Cup ended a 13-year
drought the Birds endured at the
hands of UVic.
margins of five goals or more at
time, but it was the disparity in
their play that eliminated the Birds
from qualifying for the Canada
West championships.
Strong offensive play by defender
turned forward Luke Sandilands,
midfielders Steve DeBlasio and Niko
Marcina made for some entertaining
soccer. Both Sandilands and Marcina
were one-two in scoring in Canada
West while DeBlasio finished third in
assists. A recent win over previous
CIS champions the UVic Vikes, led to
a first place standing in the annual
Keg Cup. This may be a good indicator of where the Birds stand in terms
of next season.
while rookie of the year went to
Callum Ng. Tom Johnson won his
fifth straight male coach of the year.
Johnson's daughter Haylee was
awarded the female rookie of the year
for her strong showing at the CIS
Track and Field
NAIA finals: TBA
The Birds hope to improve on last
year's finish. The men finished
fourth while the women placed seventh. The NAIA finals take place at
the end of May.
omen s ru
Canada West finish: silver
The women's rugby team didn't
make it to the CIS championships
this year, but finished with silver at
the Canada West championships
after losing to the Alberta Pandas 22-
12. In the West Coast Women's Rugby
Championships last weekend in
Victoria, the premiere division Birds
narrowly missed the cut to play in the
Men's Soccer
Conference record: (7-4-1)
Canada West standings: 4th
CIS Championships: DNQ
The Birds started the year 4-1 but
started to fade mid-way through the
season. UBC showed how dominant
they could be, winning games by
omen s soccer
Conference record: (9-2-3)
Canada West standings: 1st
CIS championships: DNP
The Birds fizzled after coming into
the season as clear favourites to be
winners for the third straight year.
After finishing first in Canada West
with home field advantage, UBC was
destined to clinch another title. But
when the CanWest semi-finals got
underway things took a turn for the
worse. A miserable and rainy day
compounded by the loss of star keeper Kelly McNabney, who suffered a
head injury led to a 4-3 Calgary Dinos
win. The Birds can take light in the
fact fourth year CanWest MVP midfielder Heather Smith will be returning along with most of the crew.
CIS Championships: 1st
The tyranny of UBC swimming continues. After winning an unprecedented eighth straight title last month
in Edmonton, the Birds now strive to
eclipse their own record and win a
ninth straight next season. A mix of
fresh newcomers and seasoned veterans provide a solid formula for continued success. Scott Dickens was
awarded male swimmer of the year
omen s vo
Conference Record: (17-3)
Canada West standings: 2nd
CIS Championships: 2nd
Throughout the season Emily
Cordonier's heroics, combined with a
solid 11-0 start paved way for what
many thought was to be their year.
After losing veteran left-side Kirby
Dow to an ankle injury, the Birds faltered temporarily. The women's volleyball team persisted and made it to
the national championships, only to
get swept by Sherbrooke in three. No
doubt these Birds are already looking
ahead to next year to claim the coveted national title.
en s vo
Conference record: (10-10)
Mountain Division standings: 3rd
Canada West standings: 4th
CIS Championships: DNQ
It was a roller coaster ride for the
men's volleyball team this season.
After a decent 5-3 start, the Birds
were unable to find any consistency
in their game. Led by all-star Geoff
Emslie, the Birds looked to get a
berth into this year's final but were
swept in three sets by the Manitoba
Bison in the CanWest playoffs. M PAGE FRIDAY
il 8, 2005
by Alex "Where's the Dim Sum?" Leslie and Simon "Here's the Dim Sum!" Underwood features editor and features staff
Your keys to UBC's most challenging subjects:
The logic of binary code, pizza pops and prudent child delivery
All things small and beautiful. Yes, even the smallest in stature can be famous! Scan thislistof
essential papers in microbiology to sharpen up your knowledge of best of the brave tinies who
have ventured beyond the petrie dish to have their time in the spotlight Good luck!
"Re-annotation of the Danny DeVito genome sequence of Mycroactorium taxi-obnoxoculosis
"The complete genomes of Avril Lavigneum and Seth Greenii reveal extensive differences in
skater boy/boi chromosome organisation and sprouting-restrictive gene content on the Conan
O'Brien max. growth scale*
"Inhibition of skate skirt length sensing in Tara Lipinski aeruginosa biofilm bacteria by a halo-
genated icyicynone compound"
"Macro-array and bioinformatic analyses reveal mycobacterial Elijah Woods core 'Frodo'
genes, variation in the ESAT-6 hobbit-flipper family and new phylogenetic markers for the
Litfluspenis heightus inferioris complex* ^^y«J
"Paul Simon: Microarrays for micromusicologists" ■     „   ^L
"Characterisation of the Bette Midler loudmouthrgenome complement of the hotschooigirl
Reese Witherspoon coli strain A0 34/86 (083 : K24 : H31)"
"The putative autolysin regulator LytR in DudleyMoore mutants plays a role in extreme date-
frequency division and is growth-phase regulated: A Discussion"
The essential short history of 1992
as sung to "We Didnt Start the Fire" by Billy Joel
Bill Clinton, Dr. Dre,J6hn Major, UK, Yeltsin, Sonic 2, sun and rain
Hurricane Andrew, Slovenia Croatia - new! Jeffrey Dalmer pleads insane
We didn't start the fire
It was alwavs burnins
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it
Amy Fisher, Boutros-Ghali, jail time John Gotti, Bondar, Galilei, Genoa Expo
Mike Tyson, Bush (Old), Anorexic Tracey Gold Johnny Carson, Leno, adieu to the Cosby Show
We didn't start the Gre
But when we are gone
Ketucky celebrates bicentennial statehood
Iraq disarmament crisis, hood
Will it still burn on, and on, and on, and on...
♦ No matter what the invigilator says, do not spread your legs before the contractions
♦ You can have your BFF in the room with you while the exams are distributed, but said
BFF must exit promptiy or risk unwished-for placenta viewing
♦ Remember to eat lots of iron beforehand
♦ Ask yourself important, pertinent questions. Such as: "Is it really necessary for this to
be happening in an open field?* and "Am I too young to accept the serious responsi
bility of caring for a useless BA?"
♦ Consider every option of multiple-choice exam questions carefully, weighing the pros
and cons; although your child might be more casually-content at a public school, there
are always issues of class privilege and obtaining cultural capital early on to be con
sidered, so you many want to start filling out the Swarthmore Pedagogy-For-Toddlers
application between thrusts
♦ Take deep breaths. If needed, sink your teeth into the sleeve of the individual nearest
you, unless you suspect that he/she may be infected with a Sorority/Amazonian viral
disease that could be harmful to your grade/progeny
<► Crying and screaming loudly always helps. Also try: red-facedness; frothing; reaming
out sex partner; loudly questioning the value of having a degree anyway
♦ Think about the time after the labour process when your awareness of pain will be low
ered, and look forward to the promised renewed alcohol consumption
Grasp this scrap of newsprint with all your might At this point, it is likely all that binds you
to reality thanks to your philosophical pedagogy. But never fear—although you've spent the
term indulging in mind experiments in darkened corners of The Gallery (Nietzsche = The
Super Man = Comic Book = Stand-Up Comedy = The Event I'm Watching Right Now!), there's
still time to salvage your muddled psyche.
Check the appropriate boxes to classify the following items as Real or Not Real.
Rocks and minerals
Board games
The difference between Coke and Pepsi
□ •
The difference between Love and Sex
Fast-paced war documentaries
Fast-paced documentaries
Understanding administrators
Unchippable paint
Exciting careers in academia
This newspaper
This exam
Study these terms and definitions and you'll be golden.
Correct Theorist whose work applies to practically everything; Not so much: Bready foodstuff
with hole in the centre, available for purchase in Kits and/or Israel
Correct: Something that remains essentially unchanged throughout history. Not so much: The
shared history of all transsexuals and bus drivers
Correct: A series of works grouped and awarded special status. Not so much: Medieval weaponry, used for firing balls of melted-down peasant shoe buckles
Cultural Capital
Correct: Knowledge and/or belongings obtained to demonstrate and/or possess an elevated
social standing. Not so much: London, Paris or Mayerthorpe, AB
Correct: "The critical procedures and perspectives that replaced structuralism after the 1970s.
Not so much: Geez, this house buildin' is hard work. Wanna get a beer after?
Correct: If you don't have a penis, you want one; if you have a penis, you just can't stop thinking
about it, even right now, while reading this newspaper. Not so much: The novel-dropping seduction ploys of Tolkien-was-a-racist long-black-jacketed self-aggrandising Honours English students
Your current stress level =
[Course #] [# of Classes You Missed]
[Number of Caesars You Drank Last Night]
[Hotness of Guy/Girl At Desk Beside You]
[Professor's Skill] [Hours You Spent Studying]
[Your IQ-115] [# of Apples You Bought Your TA ]
[Your Actual Interest in the Subject]
Likelihood Hot Student (HBS)
Next To You Will Have A Drink =
With You After the Exam
[Whether You're Willing to Ask] [HBS Is Also A
Physics Major] [Number of Months Since HBS
Was Laid] [# of Breathmints You Have On You]
[# of Hours Since You Combed Your Hair] [# of
Pocket Protectors Currendy On You] [Whether
You're Wearing Your Lucky Trig-Themed
Underpants] [# of Hours 'Til Sundown]
# of Tears You'll Cry Over This Exam =
t* *r    *    t   m-    . [Parental Pressure] [Love of Richard Feynmans
Reason You re In Physics        «,.„_   w        •   i  iiT V.     it*       *i  ixt    n      t
.    , . J =    Witty Memoirs]  [Natural Interest]  [No  One  In
in toe tirst Place Chemistry Would Sleep With You]
Listen up fat cats, you and I both know this exam isn't going to test your true
business acumen. Were this a real test of competence in the art of commercing, the winners among you would quickly negotiate a merger with the
portly introvert in the next row over before the test papers were even handed out, only to unilaterally demote him to middle management once you
noticed the sweat stains and the stutter and his demonstrable misunderstanding of the difference between a "bull" and "bear* market You'd flirt
with the invigilator as you snapped the triplicate HB pencils of a dowdy,
weak-kneed competitor, stubbing them intoo the gymnasium hardwood
with your left pump. You'd scream, "I CAN BUY AND SELL YOUR ASSES,"
launch a quick power point presentation explaining how said asses would
be bought and sold, lead the room in a short session of office yoga, and render the TA sedated and euphoric and cavalier with his clipboard. And of
course you'd steal it, scribble "breach of contract" across the answer key,
discuss the last episode of "The Apprentice" and give everyone with a
Hermes bag an automatic A. And then you'd break for lunch.
O d o <L
On the one hand, the outcome of this exam will contribute yet another letter from the first part of
the English alphabet to your transcript On the other hand, you know that that letter (A,B,C,D,F—
that poor, forgotten E) is ultimately a representative symbol assigned to a body of knowledge that
has been arbitrarily commiinally-determined as required and is possibly limited to a region of
speciality that will have no bearing on your fiiture academic and personal course. You are equally aware of the fact that the anxiety you now feel is inherently absurd as its occurrence is restricted to the present moment for the brief span of time before the exam paper is distributed, a temporal region determined by the sub-secretary in Brock Hall who was made responsible for undergraduate psychology exam scheduling, possibly by a lazy higher-upper who might like to take time
off putting on the university golf course. However, the objective nature of the exam is undeniable
and you know that despite your mazes of intuitive internal reasoning, you will look at this letter
grade on the web in two weeks and wish, with grudging resentment that instead of weaving your
way through the self-assuring but institutionally-unrecognised small wisdoms of armchair psychology you had instead spent the time mentally reviewing the clinical characteristics of serial
killers. Because in the end you know that despite the fact that you disdain the examination ritual,
it ultimately allows you to detachedly master prescribed course content, confirming in an unrewarding but satisfying and distantiy-vain way that after all, despite your constant mental indulgences and sometime-imbalances, you're even better at navigating the machinery of academic
roboticism than all these resume-padding assholes, anyway.
Upon whom shall you cast the blame?—the essential question. Be fore you can focus on the
exam before you, you must first adopt a firm stance on who and what is behind your discontent
Should you BLAME YOURSELF or should you BLAME SOCIETY!?!
1.1 Your acne
2.1 Those geraniums that withered and died under your watch
2.2 So what if you forgot to provide them with water and sunlight?
3.1 Tuition is unaffordable
3.2 That cash bonfire for St Patty's day was a great idea! Bring on the roasted famine-potatoes!
3.3 Your Mercedes scooter teaches you more and more about German transport systems
every day
4.1 You can only reach orgasm if you imagine Steve Martin palming a mandarin orange
5.1 You have a chronic compulsion to read your Dad's will
5.2You went ahead and read it and now you're all chummy again with Dad
5.3 You still manage to replace his Valium pillbox with The Bell Jar'
5.4 You may have highlighted some key passages when you were on Valium
6.1 You find it easiest to pretend that your friends and colleagues are putty
statuettes, or possibly a dense constellation of computer bits
6.2 You are a hobbyist cyborg
7.1 You are unable to maintain respect for anybody for over 3 days after first meeting
7.2 Everyone around you is an idiot
7.3 You are the kind of person who makes elaborate subdivided fists for laughs
Nobody knows the secret of your riches, or lassoeing of your future
physically-attractive wife. Because it's all in binary code! It comes in pairs,
and leave with a million-dollar contract for an obscure search engine.
0001 0100 0001 1101 0001 0010 0001 0011 0001 0010 0001 0110
0001 1001 0001 0111 0010 1101 0001 0010 0010 0110 0001 0110
0000 1110 0000 1110 00010110 0 000101110010 11010001 1010
0001 0111 0000 1110 0000 1110 0010 0000 0001 0011 0001 1001
0001 1101 0001 0110 0001 1010 0001 1010 0001 0010 0010 1101
0001 0110 0010 1101 0001 0100 0001 1101 0001 0010 0010 1101
0001 0111 0001 0011 0001 0100 0001 1101 0001 0001 0001 0010
0001 1001 0001 0100 0001 1100 0010 0000 0001 0011 0010 0101
0010 000 0001 1100 0001 0010 0010 0011 0010 0000 0010 1101
0001 0110 0010 1101 0001 0100 0001 1101 0001 0010 0001 0101
0010 01010010 1100 0001 1001.0001 100100010010 0010 1100
0001 01110001 1011 0001 1011 0001 0110 0010 0011 0001 0010.
0001 1001 0001 0101 0010 0101 0001 0011 0001 0111 0001 0111
0010 0110 24. 0000 1111 0001 1001 0010 0101 0001 0110 0000
1110 0000 1110 0001 1100 0010 0000 0001 0100 0001 0010 0001
1001 0001 0110 0001 1001 0010 1100 0001 0111 0001 0101 0001
00110001 1010 0010 0000 0001 1010 0001 1010 0010 1100 »<§»r
I Nudism
Gwyneth Paltrow I
I Norman Rockwell
Salmon Eggs With a Velour Penchant I
Rembrandt I
"A Very Brady Sequel" I
Gilded microwave dinner containers I
Evangelos Photography I
Carrot Top I
iTraditional Strudel Served in
Its Baker's Carcass
I Jackson Pollack
I German Expressionism
Found Art I
Avant Garde
Spoken Word I
I Andy Warhol
IA Pizza Pop Wearing Lots of Tiny Buttons
I Anne Geddes
I Family Circus
"Garden State" I
I Honours English
Pizza Pop
*^; 14
he -Jibyisgy fna3axiiie:
Friday, April 8,2005
An easier way to Research..
Hundreds of informative video stories and tons of info
about local urban issues, public policy, much more...
Local History
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Women's hockey team says
goodbye to captain Sorensen
Hockey and Master's
degree lie in the future
by Hiu Lo
As an all-round, proto-typical student, Marjorie
Sorensen has definitely made the most of her five
years at UBC.
Sorensen has completed five years on the UBC
Women's Hockey Team, serving as Captain for two. At
the same time, she has been working on a Bachelor's
degree in Ecology. Sorensen claims that being
involved with hockey has helped with balancing her
time for her studies.
"It actually makes it easier," she said. "With hockey it really structures your time. You have two hours
to do your assignment and then you have to go to
hockey. I think it makes it easier. You get some exercise and you get to think about something else for
a while."
Coach Dave Newson believes that it is her distinct
ability to balance academics and athletics in her five-
year career with the Birds that has made her an
incredible asset to the team as well as garnered her
so much respect.
"[Sorensen] brings [leadership] to the team in
terms of being so calm, [and in] her preparation for
games. [Her ability to] balance academics and athletics, [achieving] excellence in both areas, are things
that are leaving a mark on our program. It's been a
real treat for me to coach her for five years."
Sorensen also feels her years on the team have
helped to bring in fresh leadership.
"This is my second year as captain. When the
team was just starting, it was a very different program. Hopefully I brought leadership to the team and
brought some fun"
Hockey has been the focal point of her time spent
at UBC and her decision to play was based on the
superb abilities of the coach.
"It's been really good. It's basically been my life
for the past five years. Dave Newson is the best coach
ever, so that really influenced my decision to play. In
the first year I got so addicted that I could not look
The dedicated Coquitlam native's addiction to
hockey was present at a young age.
"I started when I was ten. My brother and I had
been bugging our parents for so long because we
wanted to play hockey. When I first started, I was
naive. My goal was to have fun and play the sport that
I really loved."
When Sorensen began her development as a player, women's hockey teams were quite under-developed, so Sorensen looked up to local NHL players as
role models. Since women's hockey has gained more
prevalence in Canada, she now credits some of the
Canadian women's national players as being influential forces in her career.
"Women's hockey wasn't really developed when I
was younger,  so I looked up to NHL players  and
watched NHL games. I was a big Canucks fan, now
that there's more women's hockey development, I
look up to the national team players like [Hayley]
On the ice, Newson believes that Sorensen has
evolved into a multi-dimensional player, capable of
assisting in any facet of the game.
"[She's developed into] an all-round Hockey player," he said. "She's certainly not a one-dimensional
hockey player that just plays offense or just plays
defense. She's able to play in all facets of the game,
contributing offensively and defensively in a well balanced [manner]."
Newson asks younger teammates to seek to emulate the 5'7" center's determination, hard work and
achievements that she has possessed during her UBC
"I point all the young girls in her direction, saying
that's where we want you guys to get to after five
years within our program, and that's how you get
there. Put in the time and the effort and work as hard
as Marjorie has."
As for her future, Sorensen has an idea in mind,
with hockey being an unquestionable part of it.
"I plan to do a Master's degree in ecology. And
after my Master's I have no idea. We'll see. I'll definitely still play hockey.
So what would Sorensen want to say to all her
teammates, coaches and everyone else to cap off her
five wonderful years on the team?
"I want to thank the coaches. The coaches have
been so amazing and they make the team what it is
and that's incredible. [Also, I want to] thank my teammates for being so great and making it a good five
years. [Finally, thanks to] UBC Athletics, for putting
all the mone^y into [the program]. The program has
grown so much in the past five years so I really thank
UBC. I've fulfilled everything I wanted to do here
al UBC." 31
Associations merge
UBC Athletics has teamed up with
the BC Amateur Hockey
Association to create a new coaching position for the women's hockey team. The team will finally have
a full time coach; currently all
coaching is done by volunteers.
With funding from the 2010
LegaciesNow GamePlan, the
responsibilities of this position
include head coaching duties for
the UBC women's hockey team
and    designing    programs    for
female high-performance athletes
province wide. Producing elite-
level female hockey players and
creating a provincial training centre are the aims of this new position. UBC Human Resources is
currently posting the position.
CFL coach for UBC
Lou DesLauriers, head coach of
Thunderbirds football, recently
announced the addition of Gary
Etcheverry to the football coaching
staff for the upcoming season. In
2004 Etcheverry served as the
defensive coordinator for the
Ottawa Renegades. At UBC,
Etcheverry will hold the position
of special teams coordinator and
assistant defensive coordinator.
In other football news, the new
recruits for the 2005 CIS season
have been confirmed. Included in
the list of 23 players are five B.C.
AAA Pepsi provincial all-stars.
DesLauriers will release further
recruitment announcements during spring training camp, beginning on April 28.
They're speedy
After a disappointing rainy meet
over Easter weekend, the track
team pulled in some excellent
times last weekend at the 24th
Annual WWU/Ralph Vernacchia
In total ten team members,
seven women and three men,
made NAIA standards during
their events. Both competing in
eight-team fields, the T-Bird
women placed third and the men
placed fourth in the overall meet
standings. IB
i 5**
Friday, April 8, 2005
the :iiby ssef; 'itia'j9jaziiie;
She1! not leaving town
Sheila Townsend looking forward to
playing for Canada at 2008 Olympics
by Sara Norman
Let's hope Sheila Townsend isn't afraid of
In the past season, the women's basketball captain and perennial all-star quickly
rose to the top of the CIS as she led her
Birds to their first CIS championship in 30
years. This year, she finished fifth in
CanWest scoring and sat atop numerous
statistical categories including scoring,
assists and steals.
Now she leaves UBC a legend.
Originally starting on her elementary
school team in grade five, Townsend
worked her way up to qualifying for the
National and World University Women's
basketball teams while playing for UBC.
"As long as I can remember I always
wanted to play university and professional
basketball," Townsend said.
Townsend was not a Thunderbird at the
start of her post-secondary career. She spent
a year playing for schools in the US before
deciding to return home to Vancouver.
"I had always thought in the back of my
mind I might come back...I decided to come
home after my first year [in the US]...I wanted to
get involved with the [Canadian] National program," she said. She made the National team
this past summer and intends on trying out
again this year. Two years ago, Townsend
played in the World University Games in Korea,
representing Canada and was thereafter
offered a spot on the Senior National Canadian
Team, something a T-Bird hadn't accomplished
since the 1970s.
Head coach Deb Huband had high praise
for her departing athlete: "[Sheila's] a high
level athlete. She does a lot of things as far
as taking care of herself, taking care of her
body, eating right, pushing herself and competing. I think that she brought that to the
group and served as a role model for her
team mates...Sheila's always aspired to be
the best that she can be."
This year, the women's basketball team
suffered a disappointing loss in the
CanWest semifinals, quite a difference from
last season during which the team won the
national Championship.
Townsend, obviously disappointed about
this year's loss, is contemplative on her
experience: "It was tough. We lost two
games in the playoffs. We had two chances
to make nationals...We had a big lead in the
second game and we gave up," said
Townsend, citing the Birds tough 63-56 loss
to UVic. "It was just disappointing. [But]
overall it was still a good year. We went
through ups and downs. I'm sure the team
will [do well] in the future."
Townsend was honoured with this year's
CIS all-Canadian award, something that only
two other Thunderbird women's basketball
players have ever received. "It was exciting
to get the award but I would have rather
WATCH OUT: Townsend seems a shoe in for National team, yinan max wang photo
been at nationals," she said.
So what's next for Townsend? She
intends to play overseas if she can secure a
spot on a European or Australian team.
"Ideally, I'd like to play for Australia," said
Townsend, as she has lived in Australia
before, has Australian citizenship and family there, plus, "[Australia has] a really
good league."
Huband is optimistic about Townsend's
chances playing professionally: "I think that
the probability is  there,"  Huband  stated
Beyond Europe or Australia, Townsend
also hopes to take part in the Olympics, citing her intentions to play in 2008 games
and the Olympic games following, but in
case things fall through she has a backup:
"I'm graduating and I have my degree in
Human Kinetics and English, but [I] also
applied for education just in case things
don't work out. I have a year left of education then I can teach. Maybe one day I'd like
to coach." CI
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CATCH THIS: UBC baseball has been a hit all season long, yinan max wang photo
r%w% ■■■%
Split gives the Birds a 21-11-1 record and
moves them up to 22nd in NAIA rankings
by Wilson Wong
It may have been listed as an exhibition
series, but the UBC baseball team knew their
two mid-week games against third-ranked
Lewis and Clark State College would be some
of their toughest all season.
The visiting Warriors are perennial powerhouses in NAIA baseball. The Lewiston, Idaho
school has won 13 national baseball titles and
their dominance over UBC has been just as
impressive. Coming into the two games, LC
State was 34-3 all time against UBC. In the
first game on Wednesday, LC State proved to
be too much once again for the Thunderbirds.
LC State didn't dominate like their record
would suggest they might. In fact, UBC out-hit
the Warriors seven to five but the
Thunderbirds can almost point to one category as being the sole reason they lost: base
The UBC pitching staff walked 14 men and
hit four batters. That meant 18 extra base runners in the game for Lewis-Clark State.
Assistant coach Cavanaugh Whitely illustrated
the situation by pointing out that 18 base runners was equivalent to having the bases
loaded against UBC for six straight innings.
It's easy to imagine how UBC lost 9-0 after
putting so many runners on base.
Third baseman Brett Murray went two-for-
four for UBC in a game where the hits were
too spread out over the nine innings to do
much damage. Joe Forest started the game
and didn't give up a hit but he was pulled
after three and two-third innings after walking eight batters. He took the loss to drop to
four wins and three losses. Matt Miller gave
up seven runs in four innings of relief.
UBC Head Coach Terry McKaig knows his
team may have made it too easy for LC State,
"We just couldn't throw it over the plate,
couldn't throw strikes. They're a good enough
team. You start giving them too many gifts,
they know how to punish you and they sure
did in the first game," he said.
Fortunes, however, changed for both
teams in the second game of the day. The
pitching was better and the offence eventually
got the big inning they needed.
UBC's offence finally took advantage of the
team's improved hitting by putting up a
seven-run third inning that was highlighted
by Tyler Willson's three-run home run just
inside the left-field foul pole.
The Thunderbird pitching staff then held
the potent LC State offense in check. Starter
Doug Grant gave up only two hits and one run
in four innings. Lefty Brad Ashman, a recent
Premier's Athletic Awards winner, came in on
relief and also gave up one run in four
innings, recording the win.
For McKaig and his Thunderbirds, then-
first win in 16 games over LC state was important psychologically.
"Any time you can get a win against them,
it was nice to kind of head into our break. We
have a little bit of time off right now, you
know it leaves a good feeling for the kids."
UBC improves to 21-11-1 overall and will
have 13 days off for final exams. They moved
up to number 22 in the latest NAIA rankings
before Wednesday's games and should move
up again with the spilt against LC State.
UBC will take the field April 19 against
Concordia at Nat Bailey Stadium at noon for a
two-games series. 01
';■ ^.
Friday, April 8, 2005
Something to listen to, or not
Suggestions to keep in mind when music shopping
Pretty voice, but this sound comes
a dime a dozen
Chasing the Sky
IE MI Music Canada]
by Harmony Ho
The first I heard of Amanda Stott was when
I picked up her sophomore album, Chasing
the Sky, a couple weeks ago. Great, I
thought, looking at the flower-studded
cover, looks like I'm in for some mellow,
folksy music. Well, Sky wasn't quite that.
Stott, who lives in Manitoba, originally started in the country genre with her debut
album, Black Is Black. This new album, however, moved her firmly in the direction of
This album was a pleasant listen. Stott
has got a voice that soars—at times powerfiil
and at other times tender and balladic.
There's a nice piano interlude in "She'll Get
Over It." The lyrics bubble with optimism as
the songs explore the areas of friendship,
relationships, dreams, and faith. It's an
album with an honest message: to live for
the moment and to take a chance on what's
possible. So if you're looking for a feel-good
vibe, this is it.
The one area that is lacking is the lyrics,
which are unfortunately riddled with
cliches. And though Stott has a sweet and
powerful voice, there is little to distinguish
her from other pop stars hitting the airwaves. But because she shows so much
promise, it'll be interesting to see how she
matures with her next album. II
These Doves fly to new sound
Some Cities
[Heavenly / EMI]
by Chris Little
Doves might not be the latest and greatest
British rock act to win the hearts of both
critics and fans the world over, but it's hard
not to admire them for the consistent quality of their full-length releases in this era of
one-hit wonders and record company cash-
grabs. Emerging from the vibrant musical
culture of Manchester in late 1998, the
ubiquitous "next big thing" label was
bestowed upon the band following the rapturous response to their debut EP. Three
official albums later, they have thankfully
outgrown that tag and appear poised to
enjoy a long and prosperous career as a pillar of the international rock scene.
Some Cities, their most recent effort, is a
sprawling and dense record that mixes elements of melancholy and hope to great
effect. The trio of Jimi Goodwin and brothers Jez and Andy Williams have toned down
the unabashed optimism of 2002's The Last
Broadcast in favour of a more grounded
approach that emphasises melodic reflection over atmospheric glory. A healthy combination of straight-ahead 4/4 arrangements and slow-burning laments effectively
demonstrates the group's skill in a variety
of settings, most notably on the scorching
"Walk In Fire" and the expansive "One of.
These Days."
As with their previous albums, the tex-
tural focus of Doves is still prominent.
Strings, glockenspiel, accordion and piano
all make appearances, and the electronic
flourishes that distinguish the band from
their more commercial counterparts like
Coldplay are readily apparent especially on
"The Storm" which incorporates samples
from a Ryuichi Sakamoto composition.
While the studio wizardry of Some Cities
isn't exactly on par, it will nevertheless be
interesting to see how they recreate their
diverse sonic palette on stage when they
play the Commodore on May 6. «
Live shows are better live!
Live At Myrtle Beach
[Sanctuary / EMI]
by Chris Utile
Live At Myrtle Beach, the umpteenth release
from Southern rock mainstays Widespread
Panic, suffers primarily from lack of visual
stimulation, resulting in this live double-
album being essential only for the most
diehard of fans. It is clear from the sound of
things that the sextet and its devotees are
clearly enjoying themselves, but that matters little to those who weren't there to
enjoy the show firsthand. This is especially
true given the grassroots following that the
band has amassed over the course of their
career and the legendary community that
makes their tours so engaging.
Recorded at the House of Blues on an
unspecified date in the South Carolina
resort city, Live At Myrtie Beach showcases
the group's renowned improvisational skill
over 11 tracks which range in length from
under five minutes to almost twenty-four.
The list is heavy on covers, the best of
which, Robert Johnson's "Stop Breakin'
Down Blues," is merely a satisfactory listen.
The low-end pulse of "Bowlegged Woman" is
clearly the highlight of the package, but it
suffers from trite lyrics which come close to
ruining the groove the band so relentlessly
If the purpose of this record is to appeal
to the converted, then Widespread Panic
will likely achieve its goal. This is a standard
document of a non-descript concert that
fans will probably buy as they would any of
the band's other releases. On the other
hand, the abbreviated sets (complete with
fade-outs between some tracks) and hideous
artwork will certainly dissuade some from
purchasing this mediocre testament to the
real thing instead of a ticket to the next
show. For my money, that's the right
decision. IB
Do as the French do
by Sarah Scouten
For the would-be Parisien(ne) cafe frequenters, the music of Keren Ann is for you.
Her full name is Keren Ann Zeidel and just
when you think she can't get any more
seductively French, you look at her album
cover which features a black and white photograph of her in a white dress, black nylons
and vintage-looking pumps, walking past
the back-drop of a gigantic smirking cat.
Quite a la "Tournee du Chat Noir." Her latest
album, Nolita, opens with a very moody
bass-line, a Latin drumbeat and of course
Keren's seductive French vocals.
The rest of the songs on the album
switch between French and English, so the
majority of us can understand at least half
of what she's saying. She uses a variety of
instruments to get a folky, bluesy, somewhat eerie, yet always too-cool sound. But
as f listen to the album, I find myself craving a few more up-beat songs. Only track
eight, the long-winded "Midi dans le salon
de la Duchesse," really suffices this longing of mine, with her signature heavy bass
lines, and strong somewhat muted kind
of strumming. Kind of like what Jack
Johnson does, but this is the only time she
sounds anything remotely like Jack
Johnson. In fact, she reminds me more of
Nick Drake than any one else. But even saying that, she has her own unique style.
A multi-layered fusion of her own creativity
and whatever flavours she picked up along
the way. The music is cool, it's spooky,
it's French. Si
Romeo loses his tights for new tails
Vancouver Symphony orchestrates play beautifully
Nights of Passion with Romeo and Juliet and Tchaikovsky
Bramwell Tovey, Conductor
April 4
by Ritu Kumar
The only people that can get away with wearing tailcoats are members
of an orchestra. Anyone else would just look silly walking down the
street, the wind billowing through their tails. Yet somehow when you
see a violinist with a tailcoat and a satin stripe down his pants it seems
fitting. It brings you back to a time when a man could walk down a cobble-stone street in a tail coat and top hat and not look like an actor from
a rendition of Alice in Wonderland. And even though Romeo never wore
a tailcoat (he was more of a tights man), the Vancouver Symphony
Orchestra (VSO) was still able to bring to life Shakespeare's legendary
tale, Romeo and Juliet
In a stunning night of music and symphony the VSO performed a
collection of orchestrated pieces, all highlighting different parts of the
play. With VSO music director and conductor Bramwell Tovey at helm,
the orchestra performed five musical pieces: Prokofiev's Dance of the
Knights, Berlioz's Love Scene, Tchaikovsky's Fantasy Overture, Jennifer
Butler's Through Walls, and Tchaikovsky's Piano Concerto No. 1.
My personal favorite: Tchaikovsky's Fantasy Overture, which had the
audience holding their breath as the orchestra worked itself into the
frenzy of the music. I noticed one violinist in particular who became so
immersed in the piece of music that the clip neatly holding her hair
back soon slipped out of her locks.
Tovey made the music interesting and accessible with humorous
and informative interjections, allowing those who weren't familiar with
the pieces to understand their meaning. Take, for example, his comparison of Romeo and Juliet with Prince Charles and Camilla as an
explanation of their forbidden love. He also helped to guide listeners in
what they wanted to listen for in the symphonies to synchronise the
story with the music.
Violins, cellos, piano, and violas—all danced with passion and harmony. Simply put, the VSO's performance was nothing less than beautiful. And on April 15 and 16 the VSO and pianist Angela Hewitt will be
at the Chan Centre performing a series entitled Bach & Beyond, featuring the works of Mozart and Bach. Go capture the magic created by the
VSO. For more information visit www.vancouversymphony.ca. II
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Muratova mystifies movies
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At the Pacific Cinematheque
April 6-9,11,17-19
By Anicilla Chui
Kira Muratova is one of those filmmakers you don't often "discover"
accidentally and the obscurity of
her name would continue in
obscurity if it were not for
renewed interest in once-banned
Soviet films from the Glasnost
period. What is interesting about
Muratova is her film The Asthenic
Syndrome was the only film
banned during Mikhail
Gorbachev's era, but what is even
more interesting is that Muratova
is a female director. Female directors making feature films is rare
in Russia and the number of
Russian female directors only
amounts to a small number but
Muratova vividly holds her own in
what she creates.
Luckily at the Cinematheque,
film lovers alike will have an
opportunity for a "brief
encounter* with the director's
work. Muratova is known for her
'slice-of-life' films depicting everyday mundane Russian life along
with big dashes of political
Communist commentary. Four
premieres are scheduled and
amoung the four, is Muratova's
most bizarre: Chekhov's Motifs.
Chekhov's Motifs is an absurdist film to the truest sense of the
word. Muratova subtly pushes
away film logic to challenge the
discontent of traditional values in
a developing Russia. Shot in
grainy black and white, the film is
a mash of two of Anton Chekhov's
literary pieces, Tatiana Repina
and Difficult People. This is a
story, which starts off with a
Russian student asking his peasant farmer parents for extra
money that ensues in a family
argument. The student decides to
make his way to town and somehow ends up in a local church witnessing and mixing with Russia's
newly minted elite.
Part of Muratova's absurdist
vision is to deconstruct the literary and cultural traditions of
Russia and Muratova does a good
job in portraying the family in
Chekhov's Motifs. The family
plays like an episode of The
Osbournes except in Russian.
Muratova seems to be be trying to
tell us that not all relationships
across the Pacific Ocean are poetically tragic.
All 120 minutes of the film is
shot in real time but for me, perhaps too real. Muratova's attention to detail is almost borderline
obsessive; she fixes the lens to the
reality of passing time and events
but this may prove too daunting
for some moviegoers. Chekhov's
Motifs is definitely an art house
lover's dream because of unique
eccentricity of Muratova's vision.
Out of all the craziness, Muratova
does project a clear message
about the volatile times of her
homeland and that is no matter
how hard life can get, time cannot
be blamed because life will always
be hard. II
diickv duckv duckv
A Lot Like Love is a lot like a good movie/ but struggles with duck alignment
Now playing
by Alex Leslie
Oliver just needs to get bis ducks in
a row. That's what he tells Emily
when, as two complete strangers,
they meet (read: have random sex in
an airplane washroom) while flying
to New York. The remainder of A
Lot Like Love is spent unravelling
the mystery of how Oliver will go
about successfully aligning his
ducks, and how any individual
between the ages of six and sixty can
still use that expression, especially
while being captured on film. But
it's okay—this is an(other) Ashton
Kutcher film, which means that any
given period of duck-aligning comes
with consistent, generous doses of
goofy smiles, pratfalls, sight gags
and aw-shucks-good-guy moments.
And though it never quite gets off
the ground, A Lot Like Love is, in
some ways, a lot like a passably
good movie.
Although they may not care to
admit it, fans of the romantic movie
(and even more so, the romantic
comedy, that lukewarm hybrid for
sitcom-lovers who harbour hopes of
eternal love) enjoy this maligned
genre largely for its device of
delayed destiny; the movie essentially being over before it begins. A
Lot Like Love establishes this more
blatandy than most films of its ilk-
it even gives the watcher a concrete
chronology to follow, either to dread
its advance (me) or relish every
click forward of its cliched clock (the
girl laughing throat-wrenchingly
into her popcorn three seats to my
left). The timeline is established
thus: in a bar on their first day
together (after the random-fuck
plane touch down), Oliver writes his
parents' phone number on a slip of
paper and gives it to Emily, instructing her to call the number in six or
seven years, when he will by his
own estimation be rich, successful
and married to a beautiful, smart,
sexy sexy woman. In short, when
"my ducks are in a row." And thank
God! Who wants to end up at the end
of a conventional movie plot with
some loser with a raggedy line of
toppled ducks? Not Emily.
Emily holds out for two years.
Then she calls Oliver on a lonely
New Years Eve, and he remembers
her immediately* In real life, this is
known as a booty call. In romantic
comedies, it's a spontaneous gesture that jump-starts, but ultimately
preserves, the over-arching feeling
of promised love^ Emily and Oliver
meet over the next four or five years
for many more spontaneous romantic gestures, including one in the
back of a station wagon in a
National Park. To keep the movie
going, both cycle through mandatory Not-The-Ones and failed career
choices, with Oliver moving back in
with his parents after the failure of
his online diaper company. ("The
Rise And Fall of the Online Diaper
Empire" was reportedly written off
early on as a possible movie tide.)
A Lot Like Love delivers a few
genuinely    amusing    moments,
including a shot of an eight-year-old
boy who catches Oliver and Emily
oh-so-casually leaving the washroom after their airborne tryst, and
dead-on depictions of teenage girl-
dom ("You are such a dick, Oliver!)
delivered by Oliver's wonderfully
trashy younger sister. The movie
plunks forward like a happy toddler
stretching for a generic but satisfying candy treat and gives Kutcher
just enough cutesy swept-hair-on-
forehead shots to win him a place
on the next cover of Tiger Beat
Magazine. That is, if he can manage
to get his ducks in a row. II
Friday, April 8,2005
Up close
Wild Safari 3D:  A South African
Now playing at CN Imax
by Greg Ursic
Safaris were once the domain of
people with more money than common sense, who went to Africa in
search of the Big Five—the elephant. Cape Buffalo, leopard, rhinoceros and lion—so named
because they were considered to be
the most dangerous animals on the
continent. The goal was to track
them down and bring their heads
back for shiny new trophies.
Today's safari-goers arm themselves with cameras instead of
guns and take home snapshots for
their walls. For most of us however,
going on safari remains a dream,
but the people at Imax have done
their best to recreate the experience.
While you can tune into a documentary about exotic animals and
locales almost anytime of the day on
The Discovery Channel or Animal
Planet, the concept takes on an
entirely new dimension in Wild
Safari 3D—literally. The viewer is
plopped into the passenger seat of
Liesl Eichenberger's Land Rover on
a 3,000 mile South African odyssey
to track down the infamous Big Five.
The immersive experience puts you
up close and personal with animals
you would do well to give space in
real life. It feels so real, that on several occasions when Eichenberger, a
zoologist and field guide, was pointing at something I found myself
shifting in my seat to get a better
Eichenberger also delivers a
running commentary about the animals, their habits, and the realties
of the safari experience—contrary
to most peoples expectations they'll
be lucky to see any of the Big Five
during the course of their journey.
The leopard, for example given its
nocturnal leanings is rarely seen
during the day (of course given that
pairs spend an inordinate amount
of time boinking—typically 100
times in a three day period—they
may just be off recuperating). While
tracking down the animals proved
to be a daunting challenge, shooting them in 3-D was even more difficult.
Most 3-D films take place in controlled environments i.e. cameras
in plane cockpits or racing cars.
Having to track and shoot wildlife
while bouncing around in an open
4X4 posed special challenges,
which necessitated the creation of
custom rigging to keep the cameras
stable. In addition, the filmmakers
had to devise custom zoom lenses
to capture the close-up action, and
they usually had mere seconds to
take manual readings to properly
expose the shots, and ensure that
the stereo images were synchronised. And they had to do all this
without spooking or provoking the
Whereas Imax films tend
towards style over substance, Wild
Safari 3D tones down the flash and
pace. A soothing soundtrack, candid close-ups that dare you to
reach out and touch the animals,
and the subtle blending of education with entertainment make for
a novel take on the traditional documentary. II PAGE FRIDAY
Friday, April 8, 2005
This Sahara can be a snooze
now playing
by Greg Ursic
For lifelong friends Dirk Pitt (Matthew
McConaughey) and Al Giordino (Steve Zahn),
life is a series of adventures, and their membership in NUMA (National Underwater and
Marine Agency) ensures that it stays that way.
When they're not involved in sometimes-
shady efforts to recover items of inestimable
historical value, Dirk focuses on his pet obsession, a confederate ironclad that supposedly
vanished at the end of the Civil War.
Convinced that it somehow made its way to
Africa, he drags Al on a river ride into Mali, a
country beset by Civil War, to foUow a hunch.
They're "joined* by two doctors intent on finding the source of a potential plague and halting an epidemic. After they've been shot at,
blown up and hunted down by the mifitary
they reafise that they're not exactly welcome
in the beautiful Republic of Mafi.
Based on the eleventh novel in the series
by Clive Cussler, Sahara almost didn't get
made, when, like many other films scheduled
to begin production in 2001, it was put on
hold after 9/11. While the project languished
in development heU, Hugh Jackman, who had
signed on for the lead, had to back out to
honor his commitments for the X-Men sequel
and his stint on Broadway. When they finally
began shooting, McConaughey had taken over
the lead, but the project was almost sidelined
Based on the eleventh novel
in the series by clive cussler,
Sahara almost didn't get
made, when, like many other
films scheduled to begin
production in 2001, it was
put on hold after 9/11.
once again, when the rigorous stunt work and
long days shooting in the stifling Moroccan
heat reportedly proved too much for co-star
Penelope Cruz. But hey, what's filmmaking
without a few minor catastrophes?
While I haven't read any of Cussler's novels, I assume that Dirk is supposed to be a
dashing brainy rake along the fines of Indiana
Jones, who can fight his way out of any situation and crack wise with the best of them. If
so, then McConaughey was a great casting
choice: perfectly tanned, with a smile that
practically glows, he exudes charisma and
spends most of his time shirtless, exposing
his chiseled physique (of course women
would never be won over by such shallow displays—yeah, right). Regardless, McConaughey
clearly enjoyed the role, which in turn helps
draw you into the story (what fittle of it
there is).
Steve Zahn, in my opinion, a woefully
underrated and underutilised comedic
savant, supplies the laughs as Al, the hyperactive scruffy sidekick who is always ready
with a snappy comeback, especiaUy in the
McConaughey's camaraderie is evident in
their exchanges, which in turn makes their
onscreen relationship feel real. If it was, however, the offscreen relationship between
McConaughey and the almost Mrs. Cruz-
Cruise that had tongues wagging in the gossip
rags (for the record, both swear that their
relationship never developed until filming
was finished—believe what you will). That
chemistry is rather muted onscreen however
and there doesn't seem to be much of a connection between them until very late in the
film. As for Cruz, her performance as Eva
feels forced at times, but likely has more to do
with the fact that English is her third (or is
it fourth) language and her dialogue is
pretty thin.
Sahara is not what you would classify as a
thought provoking film, beset as it is with a
series of timely "coincidences", stock villains,
weak dialogue, and a predictable story. It is
however an enjoyable adventure-buddy flick,
that defivers a measured dose of action and
low key laughs that will help you wile away a
rainy afternoon. Take off your thinking caps
near-certain    death.    Zahn    and     and relax. II
St. Patrick's Day brings out the generosity in City Hall
Jesse Ferreras
Vancouver's cultural scene just got a boost of
approval from City hall.
On St. Patrick's Day 2005, Vancouver's
Office of Cultural Affairs (OCA) got lucky as
Vancouver City Council provided the organisation with a $ 1 million increase as part of its
2005 annual budget, in addition to further
increases totalling $5 million up to the
year 2007.
Heather Redfern, executive director of the
AlHance for Arts and Culture, was visibly optimistic at the civic government's support for
arts and culture: "If the new funding is directed towards the operating and project grant
programs, the increase will touch the majority
of artists and arts organisations in the city,"
she said. "It will help to stabiHse the human
infrastructure and build capacity. This wiU
ensure that any special projects created for
2010 or other hallmark events will have a lasting legacy for Vancouver's citizens."
In addition to the provisions for the OCA,
City Council further approved a funding
increase for the renovation of the Vancouver
East Cultural Centre to be instituted in three
instalments totalfing a capital grant of $2.5
million. This increased funding complements
the Vancity Award, which in 2002 granted the
Centre $ 1 million which it promised to place
towards the renovation of the venue which,
since 1973, has played host to various artists
and over 1.5 mfllion spectators, according to
its website. II
Catch those thieves!
On either March 25 or 26 two of
Pnina Granirer's paintings were
stolen from the Roundhouse
Community Centre where they
were on display during the
International Dance Festival.
Granirer's paintings are worth
$2,900. Anyone who has seen
the paintings or knows of their
whereabouts is asked to call the
artist at 604-224-6795, or the
police—whatever floats your
boat. An award is also offered
to the finder(s).The paintings
descriptions are as follows: In
the Spotlight, cat.no.1602, size
26x20 in., mixed media on canvas, signed. One plus One,
cat.no.1608, size 28x22 in.,
mixed media on canvas, signed.
British rock
band set to
Kasabian ready
to rock solo
by Andrew Wallace
Tom Meighan and Sergio Pizzarno have
crossed the ocean blue and traversed
our great continent from east to west
with one purpose in mind—to, as
Meighan would say, put their nuts on
the dressing room table.
The unruly pair comprises the lead
vocafist and lead guitarist/keyboardist
of the rave-influenced but distinctly
British electronic-rock band Kasabian,
which just completed a month long
North American swing to promote their
virgin effort in the music industry, a
self-titled 2005 release.
"We've said some funny things,"
said Meighan in an interview at a
Gastown restaurant a few hours prior
to a March 8 performance at the
Commodore Ballroom. "But we're
boys and we're only twenty-four. We
have a drink and we have fun and we
Hve life.
"Basically, we want to stoke the fire,
mate. Music just isn't fiery anymore."
And with outiandish quips to
reporters, playful digs at their contemporaries and a name derived from serial killer Charles Manson's getaway driver Linda Kasabian, the four-member
band certainly has no shortage of fuel to
keep their cause burning.
"That's the funniest thing about it,"
said Pizzarno. "We're coming from a
place called Leicester, England where
all we did all day was take the piss out
of each other."
But despite their off-stage antics,
Kasabian is a people's band with a passion for performing and a deep love for
their music and their fans.
"We always give our hearts," commented Pizzarno of the group's Hve
shows. "We play the same show no matter if it's in front of—six, sixty or six
thousand people. We're a different animal Hve, though, mate. We come out of
our cage. It's hard to explain. I can't
even recognise us out there. We get so
lost in the music, mate. It's just something we need to get out."
"Sometimes on stage we start acting
like school kids," chimed in Meighan.
"We love playing music and that's what
people are going to respond to. They
see what we do up on stage."
Locating themselves in the tradition
of rock legends like the Who, the Doors
and Led Zeppelin and citing a diverse
array of musical influences from the
Rolling Stones to DJ Shadow, Kasabian
has hit the stage hard and rocked for
crowds in more than twenty cities on
the tour, opening for feUow British
rockers The Music.
"I feel that we've had an incredible
reception so far. Incredible, mate,"
continued Meighan in a brief
moment of humifity. "Sometimes we
feel like, 'are these people really here
for us, man?' And it's amazing
because they are."
"But, I feel that we're not really a
support band, mate," Pizzarno quickly
added. "We want our own tour."
Which is exactly what the Leicester
lads are in line to receive, making
their rock and roU fantasy that much
more of a reality with the announcement of their June 3 performance in
Vancouver where they wiU be the
headlining act.
Dressing room tables better be wary. II
>*■£' 20
the ybyisey itiagaiiiie
Friday, April 8, 2005
i EXAM UOU&£> 200S
Effective April 11 M-F
Bam Coffee Shop
Bread Garden
IRC Snack Bar
Pacific Spirit Place
Koya Japan
Trek Express
99 Chairs
7:45am - 3:30pm
7:45am - 3:45pm
8:00am - 5:00pm
7:30am - 2:00pm
7:30am - 7:00pm
10:00am - 2:15pm
8:30am - 7:00pm
7:30am - 3:00pm
8:00am - 6:00pm
Starbucks Coffee - We Proudly Brew
Espresso On the Go 7:00am - 3:00pm
Steamies 9:30am - 4:45pm
Pond Cafe 7:30am - 2:30pm
Sage at the University Centre 7:15am - 9:00am (M-F)
11:00am - 2:00pm (M-F)
3:00pm - 8:00pm (Th-F)
Totem & Vanier Dining Rooms F
7:15am - 7:30pm (M-Th) 7:00pm (F) 8:00am - 7:00pm (S&S)        t)
Arts, Edibles, Yum Yum's are closed after April 8.
Single in the
by Sara Norman
Now that the winter session of university
is over, what is a single girl to do? A
good majority of my friends  are
paired off, some even getting married, and I am happily not. So what am
I planning to do with my weekends?
Get comfortable with doing what I
want. There can only be so many
drunken nights spent at the bar,
making fun of lousy open-mike
singers. A good majority of those
nights are spent watching paired
off friends dance disgustingly close
while I feign happiness. And, of late,
it seems the only men interested in
me are ridiculously too old for me (as in
more than double my age) or so drunk, they
don't even care that the only word I have
said to them is "no."
Since I  "broke up"  with my movie-
boyfriend  (one  can  only pretend that
immaturity is not a problem for so long),
I've been an absentee at the local movie
theatres. While this is good for my bank
account,   I   miss   the   excitement  of big   screen
entertainment. I've yet to set out to brave the movie
theatres alone. I just can't bring myself to sit in a
crowded theatre by my lonesome, especiaUy on
date nights. Thus, the video store clerks know my
phone number off by heart. Why is it so hard to
be seen in public alone? What am I really
afraid of? Judgment, of course.
It seems as though so much of
our own self worth is dictated by
someone wanting us. Being seen in a
group of people is instant vafidation that
we are someone. Being seen with a large group of
people, even better. Having someone love you is the
ultimate vafidation, is it not? Is being seen at a
restaurant dining alone or being permanently
single an indication of undesirability?
Recently at a lounge, I sat across from
someone I admire. Unable to rise above that
inner dialogue saying, "this is so inappropriate, he
just doesn't want you,"  I got drunk.  Completely
drunk, yet still unable to find my voice. In a society
where being politically correct is more important
than being true to ourselves, can I ever be frank
with my wants without being judged? He who I
admired went home with someone else, and I was
left alone again, wondering what might have happened "if..." So, this summer will be an exercise in
freedom    and    rehabilitation.    I    will    learn
to conquer the movie theatre, the art gallery,
restaurants and men (ahem) without resorting to
self-depreciation masked in emotional distance. I'm
worth it. II
Campus attire in need of makeover?
If you've been to the UBQ Bookstore lately, you may have noticed the retail section full of
UBC clothing. Whether or not you've ever browsed through the clothes, or bought any of it,
is a whole other story. In a quest to check out what UBC clothing has to offer, I first set out to
find out where it comes from. According to Jennie Orpen, Merchandise Manager at the UBC
Bookstore, "[the Bookstore] has five or six vendors that do the [retail] designs...They present
the styles and we choose the colours...We have a basic product we always have in
stock...and we bring 'fashion' product every month." By the looks of it, UBC clothing has
come a long way since the ugly boxy T-shirts available in yellow and grey (only).
But after taking a look through the selection, I couldn't help but have a few suggestions of
my own to make. I'm a UBC student, do I have any say in UBC clothing?
Orpen advised me that "students can give advice...but the cost we pay is all inclusive of
the design." With that said, I invited Orpen to look into finding out what students might like
to see in the retail section. Her response:"lt'd be interesting to see where the interest lies."
Orpen even said students are welcome to email her with suggestions for cut or logo
design at jorpen@interchange.ubc.ca. My suggestion: lose the trucker hats and give me a
shirt with some stretch in it. S'il vous plait.
Friday, April 8,2005
Black and white with
a touch of blood
Now Playing
by Greg Ursic
In Sin City Johnny Law is just as likely
to put the screws to you as the local
hoods. On these dirty streets justice is
for dreamers—might makes right and
the weak get used, abused and discarded. If you've got the right connections
you can do anything to anyone, and
there ain't nothing no one can do about
it. Well, almost no one.
After single-handedly resuscitating
the flagging Batman franchise Frank
Miller quickly discovered what happens
when shortsighted execs meddle with
creative vision. Miller retreated into his
comics and scribed Sin City, a series of
graphic novels featuring stark black and
white imagery spattered with the occasional gush of color, featuring vicious
villains and anti-heroes spouting pulp
poetry. The studios wanted in on the
Sin, but Miller made it clear that without
full creative control, he wasn't interested. Enter Robert Rodriguez, the director
of El Mariachi, and Desperado, and a
fan of Miller's work: Rodriguez suggested that they transpose the storyboards
from the novel to the big screen, and
offered to let Miller direct. A partnership was born.
Much to his chagrin, Mickey Rourke,
who has struggled to play against type,
embodies Marv, the sociopathic juggernaut bent on vengeance. Rourke carries
the bulk of the film and despite being
buried beneath layers of prosthetics, he
remains surprisingly animated, imbuing every crazed glare and guttural
growl with pure energy, defivering his
most inspired performance to date.
Bruce Willis is the ultimate cfiche as
John Hartigan, an honest cop with a
bum ticker (aka bad side), who looks to
settle the score on bis retirement day.
WilHs does the beat-down-optimist well,
determined to persevere and you can't
help but root for something to go right
for the guy. I'd be remiss if I left out the
stunningly creepy Efijah Wood as Kevin
a special breed of kfiler with a particularly nasty habit.
The women in the cast are largely relegated to stripped down (some more
than others) set pieces with the noticeable exception of Rosario Dawson, as
Gail, the leader of Old Town. Dawson
clearly has fun with the role—equal parts
Madame, dominatrix, and crazy-
embracing dialogue that's even tackier
than her outfits, and proving that she's
just as ruthless as any guy. It's the visuals however that will keep you transfixed.
The near bichromatic landscape is
punctuated by hyperactive bursts of
color, and the copious amounts of blood
virtually fluoresce, enhancing the film's
surreal quafity. It's apparent from his
use of abstract and cubist framing that
Miller has an artist's sensibifities. But
he's still a comic book guy at heart.
Unlike most comic book to film adaptations  which  see  the  adult content
toned down. Sin City revels in it: while
the language and nudity may not be considered excessive the violence surely is.
Aside from the standard gunshot-to-the-
head scenario, there are amputations,
beatings, beheadings, castrations,
exploding body parts, and, weU I think
you get the point. What's more distarb-
ing is that you may find yourself laughing in spite of the violence.
At 126 minutes, the film runs long,
and while initially amusing, I found that
the dime store gangster dialogue began
to drag. These are mere trifles however,
and do not detract from Miller's bril-
fiantly executed concept of what a comic
book film can be: energetic, daring, and
engrossing it is a visual tour de force
that wiU surely influence artists in both
mediums. Sin City is like a crash course
in art appreciation that also happens to
be a lot of fun. H
Dating 101
by Amy Cameron
[Random House]
by Chantaie Allick
If you've ever been on a date, plan on going on a date
in the future or just like to laugh at other people's
misadventures Amy Cameron's Playing with Matches
was written just for you. Cameron, a Toronto-based
journalist, has compiled a series of horror stories
(aka bad date stories) from friends and acquaintances, ranging in age from 7 to 78, and put them into this
one fittle book. With the recent deluge of Sex and the
City themed books, movies and television shows currendy attempting (and failing) to replace Carrie and
the girls, I had very low expectations for a dating book
written by a mid-thirties journalist from Toronto (she
might as weU add that she writes a sex column). I
need not have lowered my expectations as Playing
with Matches is different, real and hilarious, geared
towards women but good for any man who wants to
see what not to do on a date.
Playing with Matches is in the "books with buzz"
section of Chapters for good reason, it has a witty, yet
ironic and cynical edge that enables you to laugh with
(or at) these poor women and relate to them; because
you know what? Everyone has bad dates and can
relate to the guy who takes you to his sleary apartment and caUs it a date or the girl who gets really
drunk and runs up the bill and doesn't offer to pay.
But tempered in with these typical dating stories are
the ones about the guy who likes to Hck butts on the
first date, the girl who can't for the life of her remember her date's name or the guy who barks and howls
at prostitutes on the street for no apparent reason. It's
a good book, about real people that can give you a
quick chuckle every once in a while and make you not
feel so bad about the horrible date you were on just
last night. II
from (Sprit 11-15 there will be a large collection bin in
the commons blocks of Totem, Gage, Fairview, Vanier,
Thunderbird, and Ritz. fill students are encouraged
to donate non-perishable food items to the newly
established fMIS/UBC food Bank
AMS Student Services
services@ams. ubc. ca
www. ams. ubc. ca
en e fit
Food Bank
Friday, April 8,2005
Tuesday, 8 April, 2005
Vol.LXXXVI  N°49
Editorial Board
coordinating editor Jesse Marchand
news editors Sarah Bourdon
Dan McRoberts
culture editor Ania Mafi
sports editor Eric Szeto
features/national editor Alex Leslie
features@ubyssey.bc. ca
photo editor Nic Fensom
production manager Michelle Mayne
volunteers Carrie Robinson
volunteers@ubyssey.bc. ca
research/letters Paul Evans
feedback@ubyssey.bc. ca
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The masthead to end all
mastheads—in 2005, that is.
'Arts County Fair 14!!!!* shouted Michelle
Mayne. Jesse Marchand and Eric Szeto both
sighed while Dan McRoberts told Michelle she
was way too excited. Nic Fensom and Ania Mafi
had already been drinking with Alex Leslie all
morning and were waiting in line, pretending
not be drunk. Visibly drunk, however, were
Paul Evans, Peter Klesken and Carrie
Robinson. Sarah Bourdon pleaded with the
security guards to let them in anyway, but to no
avail. Adrianne Davidson and Colleen Tang,
both minors, had almost sneaked in when
Claudia Li, acting on Liz Green's advice, ratted
them out. When the bands finally started playing, Trevor Gilks and Simon Underwood
rushed to the mosh pit and tragically, Iva
Cheung was crushed in the chaos that ensued.
Meanwhile, on the other side of campus,
Emily Chan, Sara Norman and Megan Turnbull
were sitting through a boring economics lecture. Carina Cojeen, also in the class, realised
that Metric was about to take the stage and
promptly bolted out of the classroom, with
Jesse Ferreras and Amanda Baxter following
closely behind.
As the day wound on, Mai Bui and Kelsey
Blair began to regret the five shots of tequila
they had done earlier. As L.V. Vander Von
Axander carried them off to the washrooms, K-
OS started their performance. Sienne Lam,
Matt Hayles and Levi Barnett, overcome with
excitement, rushed the stage and started dancing. Dan Morris saw how much fun they were
having and encouraged Jenn Cameron, Jon
Woodward, Hywel Tuscano and Paige Cooper
to come with him on stage. K-OS was swarmed
and the security guards around the beer tent
rushed in to protect them. Noticing this, Tejas
Ewing,  Darcy Wintonyk and Megan Smyth
invaded the tent, stealing several kegs of bzzr.
They almost escaped when a group comprised
of Graeme Worthy, Andrew Hudson, Momoko
Price, Candice Vallantin and Joel Libin jumped
them and stole the booze. The situation rapidly
descended into chaos when Rosanne Sia, Greg
Ursic and Farryn Robins decided to instigate
random fights.
Chris Little and Zach Goleman wanted to go
to a frat party, but wouldn't be able to come
back into the stadium if they left. Eurassia
Adamson suggested they dig a hole. Jen Neale,
Nick Hersh and Jessica Kim began devising a
plan. Jodi Carlson said they could use the cider
bottles from the alcohol stand to dig the hole.
Doris Sun started smashing the bottles so the}'
could use them as shovels as Lisa Cooper and
Peggy Truong started placing random
bystanders in a fine so that the security guards
couldn't see what was going on. The fine up
consisited of Yin Gong, Greg Holisko, Max
Yinan Wang, Will Keats-Osborn, Dan Burritt,
Bobby Huang and Matt Simpson.
As the Matt Good music started, Richard
Warnica started shaking and screaming "Oh
mah Gawd!" Andy Prest had tears in his eyes,
and had a group hug with Ritu Kumar, Myles
Estey, Carol Domanko, Linda Mei, and Jeff
Desjardins. "I love Matty baby!" whispered
Glen Chua to Dana Shindel. Someone finally
had the epiphany to go one step further, or one
step closer to Matt, Richard Togman began to
truck towards the stage. Yumimi Pang, David
Phillips, and Jhenifer Pabillano all ran after
him shouting "Take me too!" Bethany Lindsay
smashed her cooler on the ground in disgust.
Brad Badelt, Amanda Baxter, Malcolm Morgan,
Julie Peterson, Rob Terpestra and Chantaie
Allick couldn't believe it.
"Where's my cell phone?" cried Desiree
Morin. "I donno, but I can hear it" replied
Cyndy Luo. Karen Ward agreed, and Nolan
Hop-Wo pointed to the left. Karen Long said
that was the direction the sound was coming
from. Jennifer Trac, James Weldon and Rob
Annandale began to run to rescue the precious
phone. Wilson Wong burst through the outhouse door repeating "The toilets ringing!"
Terry Boake began to peer down the toilet.
Sarah Scouten reached her hand in, as Hilary
Onas screamed, "No! Don't do that!" "It's ok,"
said Bryce McRae, she feels sick any way, and
she began to hurl on the phone. Tyler Hopson,
Dave Anderson, Leah Howe looked disgusted.
Derek Gidick said that it was "natural" and
Cam Lavender told Brett Taylor that the smell
was actually sobering.
Jerome Yau, Michael Harris, Chris Walsh,
Michael Kwag, Kalev Hunt, Andrea Shidt, Hui
Lo, Darryl Korell and Alyssa Burt were sick of
listening to the bands playing so they started
singing their own songs. Shireen Nabatian,
Gabrialla Perdomo, Harmony Ho, and Andrew
Wallace piped in singing the chorus, "We will,
we will rock you, rock you..."
Eliasha Stokes took out some text books and
set them on fire with a flick of her cigar. K-OS's
bodyguards consisted of Matt Bowen, Cheryl
Chan, Liz Molnar, Paige Miller, Jordana
Greenblat, Jordana Deveau, Amanda Truscott.,
Begum Verjee, Niall Williams, Shannon Wang,
Kim Mulder. They escorted him off stage as
Aman Rai, Priya Bubber, Ancilla Chui were
running toward him. Shannon Wang and Greg
Ursic screamed, "Look at her!" Melissa
Woodside ran on the empty stage, grasped the
microphone and yelled into it, "I am the queen
bee!" ll
It's been fun kids. "Thanks for afantaBuCous year
IlllC. TCease weCcome the incoming editors for the
2005/2006 year.
Coordinating "Editor: Jesse Marchand
JSTews "Editors: Taut Evans and Eric Szeto
Culture Editor: Simon Underwood
Sjports Editor: Megan Smyth
features Editor: JACex LesCie
Thoto Editor: yinan Max yVang
Troduction Manager: MicheCCe Mayne
Congrats and good Cuckl
Friday, April 8,2005
Gomery and the Grits
The most interesting public affair in Canadian history
by Gilles Grafctrom
There is something about this whole sponsorship scandal that bugs me. Whether I look at the
news on television or the newspaper, it is for
one thing painfully clear that Canadian people
are being fed a conglomerate of spin. Who
knows though, perhaps in time when this has
been all resolved by judge John Gomery, some
interesting spin-off theatrical motion picture
can be skillfully created from all this and aired
on CBC. What's real and what's fiction?
Is this inquiry serving the interests of the
average British Columbian, young person or student? Let's not humor ourselves; morality is not
a cause for this inquiry. It's just costing more
money, which we all know dem feds like to regulate. Tuition fees for education across Canada
are increasing over already ridiculous high
fees—please cut out the BS for once. I find it
interesting that particular numerous government events were bundled up together, discovered by its progenitors and placed before us in
such a solemn musical. It's not interesting,
folks! There are no sex scandals or imagination
to this charade. If the government insists on setting up its own public investigation to 'investigate' its expenditures, then they might as well
lynch themselves on the spot.
Do you see how stupid this set-up is now?
And yet, a little concerning.
This whole thing is absolutely loaded with
miniscule details to an endless degree of money
transportations, here and there. Heck, it proba
bly even documents the silly details such as the
text font of hard copy cheques, the speed of electronic wiring transactions, and the fashion
habits of the secretary at Groupaction Inc.
Keep your eyes open when it comes to poHtical contrivance and you will see things as they
exist. The story summed up as per news media
and government goes as such: federal auditor
general Sheila Fraser found that $100 million
was paid to a variety of communications agencies in the form of fees and commissions.
Dispersed, this big and nicely rounded sum of
money supposedly began thousands of intricate
journeys beginning after the 1995 Quebec referendum to a number of advertising firms to
promote federalism in Quebec.
Where it gets sticky for the Quebec voting
mass is an underlying suspicion that this federal government was buying the support of a number of higher-up persons. Meticulously examining each journey of individual parcels of money
and venturing to ruin peoples hves will not shed
light on the big picture. A government inquiry
will not produce impartiality, period. Ask yourself if it makes sense that a governing body recommends that its law agency wing investigate
the lawfulness of its fiscal transactions. Here is
where we arrive at poHtical contrivance.
These money handouts had obviously been
discovered before Fraser's research and were
threatening to be a curse. What we're seeing is
damage control. If you've read the reports on
this inquiry you will see there is very fittle self-
incrimination on the government and a host
of incriminatory stratagems against those outside the government on the receiving end of
sponsorship. I find it interesting regarding the
timing of Jean Chretien's exit as Prime
Minister. This after bowing to constant pressure by his fellow MPs to do so and receiving
continual questions by the media, "when are
you going to leave?"
Right after he did leave, the new Prime
Minister set up this inquiry. I am certainly
not blinded by Paul Martin's facade nor am I
by the federal governments' altruism and
neither should any Canadian. Let alone participation, Martin swore in a Canadian law
assembly that he had no knowledge of the
sponsorship scandal. I don't know whether
people realise the seriousness of this. I think
he is a liar. The duties of Minister of Finance
entail utter ignorance?
Although for the sake of writing this, I do feel
compeUed to concede that having this inquiry is
better than no information at aU. This matter at
once has everything and nothing to do with
British Columbians. In the case that it does, it
shows us the government that we have. It shows
us the disparity in regional poHtics. Why would
a government have to spend money to promote
its existence within a wide geographical gamut?
We can understand election ads and campaigns,
but trying to make the federal lexicon 'en vogue'
like fashionable apparel is silly.
Gilles Grafstrom is an Arts Student at
Douglas College
Drunk and unsafe: why ACF should die
by Lyle McMahon
You may have noticed "Save ACF!" posters up
around campus: "Don't be the jerk that wrecks it
for everyone else. COME TO THE FAIR. Don't be
a square," they antagonise. "If YOU aren't at ACF
this year, there won't be another ACF... ever."
While I have no definitive evidence that the
"the consensus based revolutionary action committee to save ACF" (http://www.geocities.
com/saveacf) is reaHy just a handful of desperate Arts Undergraduate Society execs, I have yet
to be given a reason to beHeve that it is not. If
this assumption has been made in haste, I offer
a preemptive apology to the AUS. Regardless, I
have a H'l bit of feedback for the organisers of
Arts County Fair—and everyone loves feedback,
right? EspeciaUy if it's printed pubHcly.
Dear Arts Undergraduate Society and the
organizing committee of Arts County Fair,
There is a reason why lots of students don't
want to come to your big dumb beer garden.
As a part of my job as an exec of the Almost
Matters Society (AMS), I was a lucky participant
in the safety audit of ACF lastyear. This involved
being in attendance during the entirety of your
event—completely sober—observing safety incidents and the way in which they were prepared
for and dealt with. To your credit, things could
have been more disturbing...but not by much.
I saw alcohol consumption and serving in
extreme excess. I saw violence—loud men taking up space, fighting each other, fighting the
poHce, and treating women like meat. I saw
vomit and unconsciousness, tens of thousands
of my fellow UBC students reducing themselves
to a hostile, self-degrading sea of intoxication. I
saw De La Soul, but I might have been the only
one. Everyone else was busy getting shitfaced.
These are not behaviours that you, the AUS,
have control over, per se. However, as organisers of this event, you have the capacity (and
responsibiHty) to set the tone for what behaviours are tolerated. Needless to say, I left the
event at the end of the night, weaving my way
between poHce cars and drunk drivers, pretty
disgusted by my time at "the biggest UBC event
of the year."
Your event budget is approximately
$300,000. Think of the things you could do with
that money. Lastyear (and I confirmed this with
members of the AMS Executive and Finance
Commission), you lost $70,000—almost a quarter of your whole budget. This is why, presumably, if no one comes to your big, drunken meat
market, you'U lose a whole lot more money this
year. What happens if you don't change ACF for
the better? "There won't be another... ever."
Some of us wouldn't be all that upset if that
Lyle "the jerk that wrecks it for everyone
else" McMahon
Arts 3
GAP not bullying
and aggressive
by Brook Jones
I'd like to offer a response to Jessica
Holyoak's letter ["GAP display doesn't
belong at UBC, Apr. 5], which presented
what I beHeve are some misconceptions
about the recent GAP display.
Jessica claims to have had a pamphlet
"shoved into [her] hand," to have been
"bombarded by several members of this
group," and to have been "bulfied, and psychologically abused."
I was present for the entirety of the display and witnessed Jessica's interactions
with our club members; her descriptions
are simply not accurate. Every Lifefine
member present at a display signs an
agreement stating that they will not
engage in any kind of aggressive behaviour. There is no evidence to suggest that
anyone violated that agreement; if Jessica
feels otherwise, she should provide evidence of it and file a formal complaint, not
make unfounded allegations in the
I would add that the only shouting
which happened at the display was by
members of Students For Choice, which
has no affiliation with, and holds opposite
beliefs to, the Lifeline club. Numerous
video cameras were present at the event;
the footage speaks for itself.
So why would Jessica claim to have
been "bombarded" and "abused" if she
was not? I have no doubt that she was genuinely upset by the display, but it was not
because of any 'aggressive' behaviour by
those presenting it. I suspect it was
because of the uncomfortable nature of
the display itself—Jessica clearly disagrees
with the point we were arguing.
But this raises another issue: does
Jessica really beHeve that a "healthy, positive and secure [university] environment"
is one which only aUows the expression of
ideas guaranteed not to offend? A uniformly sanitised, or worse stiH, selectively
censored, campus? No, institutions of
higher education are valued precisely
because they allow the free exchange of
ideas and the opportunity to chaUenge and
be chaUenged by those ideas. Does thinking for yourself mean never being presented with an idea you disagree with?
Surely that is the opposite of thinking for
Lifeline welcomes and actively promotes discussion of the issue of abortion—
but this discussion cannot take place on a
campus where people are silenced for presenting ideas that challenge people.
Brook Jones
Executive Member, Lifeline Club
A Tribute to
His Ho!i
by Patrick Bruskiewich
I remember clearly the day that
Cardinal Karol Wojtyla of Krakow
became his Holiness John Paul II. It
was a cold day in October 1978. Yet
despite the bitter cold it was the day
that my PoHsh relatives warmly celebrated their native son in the streets
of Edmonton, joining friends both
within Poland and expatriates in
Chicago, London and elsewhere.
Karol Wojtyla's life was a unique
one: spanning eight decades, a world
war, blacklisting by the Nazis for his
activities as a member of the
Christian democratic movement in
occupied Poland and a ceaseless
effort to lead a proud people
oppressed by Communism back
towards freedom. It was his scholastic and reHgjous views, and his long
record of achievement in keeping
humanism aHve in Poland that led to
his election as Pope.
As both my grandfather and relatives said to me that day, in the election of their friend Cardinal Karol
Wojtyla to the head of the CathoHc
Church they saw Poland's ultimate
freedom from decades of oppressive
rule by Communists. Before being
driven out of Poland for their democratic beHefs, my relatives would
attend church with then Vicar
My family inevitably played our
part supporting the efforts to bring
democracy back to Poland. After
Poland, democracy spilled over into
Czechoslovakia and the rest of
Eastern Europe and inevitably, with
Sakharov as their spiritual conscience, into the former Soviet Union
as weU. Today these formerly
oppressed states are now Liberal
Democratic nations and full members of a free and vibrant Europe.
While some may credit US
President Reagan as the architect of
the end of the Cold War, I think scholars would probably find that Cardinal
Wojtyla played a more significant and
lasting role. Though they were stUl
aHve to greet their Polish Pope in
1984 when he traveled to Canada,
neither my grandfather nor my uncle
Hved long enough to see the end of
Communist rule, and fall of the Iron
curtain in the late 1980's.
However, nothing just happens in
history. There are always pre-indica-
tions. The stage had been set in the
1970's for a show down between
oppression and freedom. In some
sense it was the final act of the aftermath of the Second World War and
final chapter in the Cold War
wrapped into one.
EarHer in the decade, in 1973, my
relatives had participated in an international celebration of the intellectual achievements of another native
son, Nicholas Copernicus, who had
Hved from 1473 to 1543 and who
was a distinguished churchman and
humanist inteHectual from the
Jagellonian University in Krakow. I
remember as a twelve year old touring the exhibit in Edmonton, an presentation which ignited my interest in
physics and astronomy.
As it would happen Cardinal
Wojtyla was not only a churchman,
but a scholar with two Ph.D.s and a
Masters degree, two of the degrees
coming from the JageUonian
University in Krakow. It is my
remembrance that Cardinal Wojtyla
helped organize and publicise the
Copernican 500 year celebration. In
that decade, with other scholars like
the Philosopher Bronowski, he participated in efforts to make good the
wrong wrought on Galileo by the
In presenting his scholastic views,
it was expected that Cardinal Wojtyla
would play an influential role in the
last quarter of the 20th century. It
was inevitable he would become
Pope. He turned out to be the most
influential Pope of the past four centuries, and along with others like
Einstein, one of the most influential
figures of the 20th century.
By the early 1980's Russian tanks
were parked at the border with
Poland and the Poles were stubbornly egging the Soviets on. The Soviets
backed down. It was a sign of weakness that resounded clearly throughout Europe. An assasination attempt
on Pope John Paul II became the
spark that ended Soviet rule in
Eastern Europe. Karol Wojtyla never
advocated violence. His was a moral
ascendancy not a miHtary one. He
argued for democratic rights for all
not just for the privileged few.
In 1946, as the Iron Curtain
descended on Europe, Pope Pius
pressed Soviet Dictator Josef Stalin to
keep Europe free. Stalin asked Pope
Pius how many divisions he had to
command- Stalin, of course measuring strength by the number of tanks
and soldiers. As it would happen,
1946 was the year that Karol Wojtyla
was ordained as a priest. As a cleric,
he may have taken this comments
from Stalin to heart.
Upon his death Pope John Paul II
held dominion over a bilfion souls,
including many millions in the former Warsaw Pact countries of
Eastern Europe who won their freedom from Communism without firing a shot.
Pax vobiscum Karol Wojtyla.
Patrick Bruskiewich, M.Sc,
B.Sc.r B.Ed., BCCT, APS, CAP
Physics Doctoral Student, UBC PAGE FRIDAY
Friday, April 8,2005
Behold: our
Sharing some of the best places, eats, and indulgences
Kat's Tea Hut
(6519 Victoria
Yes, I know—bubble tea has been
discussed at great lengths before.
Still, I can't help but mention this
one. At Kat's—which opened last
August—the drinks are good, but
it's the icy plates that really count.
This dessert's no dish for the gas-
tro-intestinally challenged, especially if it's a cold day. The icies
are the size of a full meal and
there's no skimping on the toppings (so don't worry, you're not
just getting a heap of shaved ice).
At $3.95 with a choice of three toppings, this is probably the most
affordable icy you're going to get
in Vancouver. And if you're reaUy
sick of those tapioca bubbles, their
mango stars—which I have yet to
see at another tea house—are
worth a try. You may want to bring
a jacket. You'll shiver for an hour
after, but it's worth the experience.
La Bodega
(1277 Howe St)
Red chequered tablecloths, a choice
of cold and hot mussels, a Spanish-
speaking wait staff with undeniably
cute girls, and sweet burgundy Sangria sparkling with orange sHces
makes La Bodega a wonderful place
to sip wine and nibble on authentic
Spanish tapas like yummy meatballs, spicy chorizo, or a small plate
of paeHa. Bring some friends, order
two plates each, and at maybe $ 15
per friend and voila, you have a
feast. TechnicaHy, tapas are not a
meal, but dehcious tummy tanta-
lisers during happy hour. While
nibbles and beer go wonderfully
together, the food here is too good
for just one bite of the patatas
bravas, and the awesome DaH paintings on the walls make for wonderful ambiance. You're in rainy
Vancouver! No! You're in warm,
glowy Andalusia! Go! Eat! Drink! If
you speak a few words of broken
Spanish to the owner, the possibifi-
ties of free desert might materialize.
If you're fluent..weU, stop showing
off. Enjoy.
Bolts of" Fiction
Various locations
For those of you who can't resist a
good story (or poem), Bolts is a reading series that occurs several times
monthly, usually at El Cocal (1037
Commercial Drive) or Tigers—the
best cheesecake place in Vancouver
(2133 Granville). If you do go, I'd
suggest the strawberry cheesecake
—it's a classic!
Sometimes boasting big names,
Bolts also offers the occasional free-
for-all ad-fibbed stories (in case you
want to try your hand at improv storytelling). They provide prompts
and you figure out the story.
Afterwards, it's story slamming
rime. Winner takes the hat and gets
published in Common Ground magazine. So do check them out!
Next story slam is April 13 at
Our Town Cafe (245 East Broadway).
Next reading is April 20 at Tigers.
Anne Fleming will be reading from
Anomaly and Amanda Hale from My
Sweet On and On. (www.boltsoffic-
.&* 'tflM'SHHb
V   '    -■'**
^fch^^* * *
Yukimi Daifuku
(Japanese icecream balls)
Quite possibly the most deficious
dessert you'll ever have. I stumbled
across these precious deHcacies at
Miko Sushi on Robson Street. From
there, after some inquiry, I was told
where to get my very own box of
Yukimi Daifuku. Inside the box, the
balls are nestled in an egg carton
style dish, each ball waiting to be
picked out of it's dip in the plastic
holder. The ice cream is inside of
this powdery-sticky-doughy-stuff that
has this membrane like consistency
to it. The thought of piercing my
teeth through that layer to get to the
cold vanilla centre makes me drool.
Unfortunately, I can not reveal
where to get these dehcious treats,
reason being that since I told only
two people the popularity of these
balls has gone through the roof. One
person teiis another person and the
whole thing got out of hand. I was at
the "secret location" just last week
and I got the last box—last box! So go
on a mission and try and find places
that carry Yukimi Daifuku. I'm sure
any Japanese food supply store has
them (mine does). It's worth the
searching. Bite into one, and brace
Characters Fine
Books and
Coffee Bar
(8419 Granville)
One of the better second hand bookstores in town. Besides the charming name (which is, I have to admit,
what drew me in the first place),
Characters boasts a large collection
of fiction, nonfiction, poetry, and
CDs. Some of this stuff (most notably
the poetry titles) you won't find at
Chapters. And hey, if you're looking
to get rid of some of your English
novels, they'U take 'em in too. A
smaH cafe also occupies half the
store. So if you're up for a relaxing
hour or so, grab a coffee and curl up
with a good book.
The Cellar
(3611 West
Live music, especially in smaU,
cramped, basement bars that command full Hstening attention and
expect fittle conversation are ideal
places to spend with someone you
are still flutteiy about but haven't,
urn...invited home yet There is less a
chance to say something stupid, for
example, because you only open your
mouth to savour your $9 glass of
bin555 Shiraz, letting your pallette
and aural senses be puncated by the
imposibly sharp sound of alto sax
riffs. Basement music halls also provide ample time, while listening to
really good jazz, to bask in the possi-
bifity of either a really good kiss, or
one more bite of their dehcious cherry cheesecake.
You'll leave after midnight with
that red-wine head rush to keep you
happy a Htfle while longer before you
wake up and realize that listening to
Cory and Bill Weeds pour their soul
into every inch of West Broadway's
tiny red and black-walled cellar
was.. .wonderful.
Big Hug Bakery
(2515 Main
With apologies to Mr. Hershey, I
myself am quite certain that if a hug
were edible it would take the shape
of a doughnut Just as a hug, chosen
with care, can proffer a fleeting sensation of intimacy, so may a beatific
donut, christened in the deep fryer
and kippahed in Hquified chocolate,
induce a sort of momentary fugue in
which for a single, glorious instant,
you are the most loved being on
earth; greedy, decadent beast that
you are. So beHeve me when I say
that Big Hug Bakeiy, just south of
Broadway and Main, entirely
deserves its ridiculously cute name.
Interpersonal love is unreliable,
inconsistent, and awkward by
default Big Hug doughnuts are dehcious every time. And so are the
cookies. And so are the cakes. A
semi-decent date, even if you spfit
the bill, is going to run you at least
ten dollars. A baked good from Big
Hug costs a tenth of the price.
Multiply your dividend by ten, and
clearly that's enough sweetness for
even the hungriest of appetites. If
we use cost-benefit analysis love
loses to the doughnut every time. So
pass that dutch.
visit this West Coast paradise	
Only $35 from Vancouver via BC Ferry
1-866-986-3466 / WWW.T0FM08US.COM
fueled by Biodiesel
Search Jobs Online
www.BCJobs.com ept. 2005-Apr
87 n. 1 (6 Sept. 2005) 24 p.
87 n. 2 (9 Sept. 2005) 20 p.
87 n. 3 (13 Sept. 2005) 20 p.
87 n. 4 (16 Sept. 2005) 16 p.
87 n. 5 (20 Sept. 2005) 16 p.
87 n. 6 (23 Sept. 2005) 12 p.
87 n. 7 (27 Sept. 2005) 20 p.
87 n. 8 (30 Sept. 2005) 12 p.
87 n. 9 (4 Oct. 2005) 12 p.
87 n. 10 (7 Oct. 2005) 12 p.
87 n. 11 (12 Oct. 2005) 20 p.
87 n. 12 (18 Oct. 2005) 8 p.
87 n. 13(21 Oct. 2005) 12 p.
87 n. 14 (25 Oct. 2005) 12 p.
87 n. 15 (28 Oct. 2005) 12 p.
87 n. 16(1 Nov. 2005) 16 p.
87 n. 17 (4 Nov. 2005) 12 p.
87 n. 18 (9 Nov. 2005) 12 p.
87 n. 19 (15 Nov. 2005) 12 p.
87 n. 20 (18 Nov. 2005) 12 p.
87 n. 21 (22 Nov. 2005) 12 p.
87 n. 22 (25 Nov. 2005) 8+4 p. (Buy Nothing Day suppl.)
87 n. 23 (29 Nov. 2005) 16 p.
87 n. 24 (2 Dec. 2005) 20 p.
87 n. 25 (4 Jan. 2005) 8 p.
87 n. 26 (10 Jan. 2006) 8 p.
87 n. 27 (13 Jan. 2006) 12 p.
87 n. 28 (17 Jan. 2006) 12 p.
87 n. 29 (20 Jan. 2006) 8 p.
87 n. 30 (24 Jan. 2006) 12 + 8 p. (AMS Elections suppl.)
87 n. 31 (27 Jan. 2006) 12 p.
87 n. 32(31 Jan. 2006) 12 p.
87 n. 33 (3 Feb. 2006) 12 p.
87 n. 34 (7 Feb. 2006) 12 p.
87 n. 35 (10 Feb. 2006) 12 p.
87 n. 36(21 Feb. 2006) 16 p.
87 n. 37 (24 Feb. 2006) 12 p.
87 n. 38 (28 Feb. 2006) 12 p.
87 n. 39 (3 Mar. 2006) 16 p.
87 n. 40 (7 Mar. 2006) 20 p.
87 n. 41 (10 Mar. 2006) 16 p.
87 n. 42 (14 Mar. 2006) 16 p.
87 n. 43 (17 Mar. 2006) 12 p.
87 n. 44 (21 Mar. 2006) 16 p.
87 n. 45 (24 Mar. 2006) 12 p.
87 n. 46 (28 Mar. 2006) 16 p.
87 n. 47 (31 Mar. 2006) 12+8 p. (Literary suppl.: Rant)
87 n. [48] (4 Apr. 2006) 6 p. (Parody issue: The Grope and Flail)
87 n. 49 (7 Apr. 2006) 20 p.
87 n. 24 titled The Ubitchey
87 n. 48 unnumbered


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