UBC Publications

UBC Publications

UBC Publications

The Summer Ubyssey Aug 24, 1995

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Array Marrying interviewees since 1982
UBC braces for Big Mac attack
by Andy Barham
McDonald's is coming to UBC.
The fast-food giant will take up
residence in a mini-mall currendy
under construction at the Campus
Village, according to local businessman Sandy Chow, who leases
the site. The completed building,
which will sit on the old Kinko's
site, will also contain a grocery
store, a photocopy service, and a
sub-level food fair.
Rumours of McDonald's coming to campus have been circulating for several months, but the
actual fact of its arrival seems to
have taken most of the community by surprise.
UBC's manager of media relations Stephen Crombie said he
sees no real problem with
McDonald's setting up shop near
the entrance to campus. "It's really no different than Kinko's Copies, or a bank, or another pizza
restaurant or whatever. I suppose
if McDonald's sees a market, then
they have a right to go in there if
they can get permission from
whoever's administering the
Alma Mater Society president
Janice Boyle worries that the arrival of a McDonald's will threaten
AMS businesses in SUB, and says
the franchise will poorly affect the
image ofthe university as a whole.
"I think that having the first thing
that you see on University Boulevard coming into campus being
the golden arches is really tacky.
"I certainly don't think it reflects the collegiate atmosphere or
particularly adds anything to a
setting which is incredibly beautiful. In fact, I think it mars it."
Ron Marcu, President and
CEO for McDonald's Western
Canada Division, however,
doesn't see a problem. "I guess,
from my point of view—and I'm a
little biased-I think it'll look
The site is owned by the Provincial Crown Lands Office but is
administered by the University
Endowment Lands. UEL manager Bruce Stenning said that as
long as McDonald's complies
with existing UEL by-laws, there
is nothing to stop the restaurant
from leasing space from Mr
Many local residents and businesses are unhappy with Chow's
plan to bring in a McDonald's.
Kathleen Yuen, proprietor ofthe
continued on page 4
No income tax on student loans
by Matt Thompson
Students worried over a reported federal plan forcing them
to repay their loans through income tax can relax, says Canadian Alliance of Student Associations president Alex Usher.
"It's certainly not happening in
B.C. any time soon," Usher said
Concerns that the federal government was considering further
changes to the student loan program were sparked by a story
published in the August 14 edition of the eastern Canadian Sun
newspaper chain. The story was
subsequently picked up by both
The Vancouver Sun and Province.
According to Usher, the whole
thing was simply a misunderstanding on the part of a Sun reporter.
Usher says the confusion was
over Finance Minister Lloyd
Axworthy's August 1 announcement that the federal government
was still "open for business" on
income contingency, a proposal
that would link students' loan repayments with their income level.
The Sun jumped on
Axworthy's  comments  as  a
"scoop," despite the fact that the
federal Liberals have said they've
been interested in income contingency since Bill C-28, the legislation which introduced changes
to the student loan program, was
passed more than 15 months ago.
Usher said using the income
tax system to have students repay
loans is especially unwieldy given
recent changes to the student
loans program, which transfered
responsibility for loan collection
to banks.
"[Income tax repayment] only
tends to work if your creditor is
the government," Usher said.
"Under the new bank deals-and
this is the same federally and pro-
vincially—your creditor is the
bank. And I'm. not sure why or
how you would use the income
tax system directly, why you
would use crown resources, to
recover private debt."
What the government has
said, Usher explained, is that it is
willing to pursue pilot projects in
income contingency with any
province that is interested in doing so. So far, only Ontario has
shown signs of taking the feds up
on the offer.
every STUDENT'S DREAM — McDonald's Golden Arches will soon grace the campus of UBC.
Faculty of Arts profs want
admissions reopened
by James Conley
Five professors in the Faculty
of Arts will forward a resolution
to faculty members at a special
meeting September 7 asking President Strangway to re-open graduate admissions to the department
of Political Science.
Three of the five faculty members responsible for the document
currendy serve on an ad hoc committee struck by Dean of Arts
Patricia Marchak to forward recommendations based upon the
McEwen report.
The conclusions ofthe committee are not yet finalized and discussion is expected to continue
into the Winter session. Members
of the committee emphasize that
their task is to make recommendations for future policy, not to
pass judgment on what has transpired in Political Science.
Ashok Kotwal, Head of Economics, insists that his involvement in the drafting of the resolution asking that Poli Sci graduate
admissions be reopened and his
membership on the ad hoc committee do not represent a conflict
of interest. "It is important that the
department of Political Science be
re-opened. The McEwen report
was very badly done, full of procedural flaws. There are allega
tions without evidence and the
department as a whole has been
injured. I felt that it was important
to forward this resolution," Kotwal
said. "The committee is something
altogether different."
Ed Hundert, Head of Arts One,
also described his roles with the
committee and the drafting ofthe
resolution to be unrelated. "The
committee is concerned with future events rather than what's already occurred. I feel there is no
conflict of interest in being involved in both of them."
Committee chair Herbert
Rosengarten, Head of English,
was surprised to hear of the resolution. "I wasn't aware that this
resolution had been drafted or that
these people were involved.
When the committee meets this
Thursday I'm sure this will be a
topic of discussion."
The immediate future of Political Science is undetermined.
Kotwal, when asked how he felt
the faculty would react to the resolution was unsure. "I do not know
how the faculty will vote on the
issue but I believe it is important
to present it."
Sociology professor Bob
Ratner described the response to
the McEwen report on campus as
a "chilling effect" which people are
unsure of how to interpret or approach. "It's critical that this issue
be examined by both students and
faculty," Ratner said, "rather than
be quiedy forgotten."
Heidi Peterson, president ofthe
Graduate Student Society, expressed concern at the role of the
ad hoc committee in relationship
to the problem as a whole. "Why
has this committee been established to examine the report when
Dean Marchak has come out so
strongly against it? The whole
thing has the appearance of being
stage-managed. I find the idea that
certain members of the committee are also involved in the drafting of this resolution disturbing.
When the GSS was asked to forward a student representative to
the committee, we were asked to
provide a student with no other
involvement with the issue. I wonder why the faculty weren't asked
the same."
Marguerite Chiarenza, Head of
Hispanic and Italian Studies, the
third member ofthe ad hoc committee involved in the drafting of
the resolution, was unavailable for
comment. Fellow committee
members Jillian Creese and
George Egerton refused comment
on the issue. LH b fcH I fTT
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I need help! If you speak
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processing. 736-9769 or 873-
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Looking for 27 students who want
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Word Processing
Word Processing/Typing, 30
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laser printer, student rates. Tel:
$5.25 for 1st line (15 words)
800 for each additional line
Payment in advance by
Visa, Mastercard, Cheque
or Cash.
Deadline on
Classifieds: Two days
prior to publication.
Deadline is September 1
for September 6th issue
How to Join The Ubyssey's staff
in four easy steps:
(1) Find SUB 241K, or call us at 822—2301
(2) Volunteer to do something, producton, news reporting, photography etc.
(3) Make three contributions to the paper, "editorial functions" as defined in The
Ubyssey Publications Society Bylaws.
(4) Read the Constitution and Bylaws of the Society and agree to abide by them.
Come meet the cwazy sex wabbits with The Ubyssey
learn production skills & other important things
resident technoweenie will tell all
Saturday Ipm
Agenda for Ubyssey Staff meeting:
Friday, August 25, 1995.  12:30 pm
1. Chair & minute taker
2. Show us your vacation snapshot
3. Representing the paper
4. First September issue
5. Reminder about Saturday Production
6. Open House story meeting
7. Staff cards
8. Other business
t-AMS Update	
SUB Renovations
The Renovations Planning Group, in response to
numerous comments about the appearance of the
building, and in conjunction with more ambitious
plans to provide additional student space, undertook an
architectural study to reverse the 'tired building syndrome.'
To accomplish this study and to define reasonable areas
for reworking, given that the building is an ongoing
operation, a strategy of splitting the building into precincts
was devised with each precinct having its own architectural
programme. To maintain the consistency of design intent
across these areas, a statement of planning goals and
objectives was prepared.
The planning strategies focussed on a building for
students, and towards developing a sense of community
within the student membership and externally to other
groups within society. Specific directions for the architecture
of the building recognized the need to provide a circulation
structure within and to make possible a building which
created an environment free of concerns for physical
safety. In Phase One, the AMS was committed to
upgrading the lighting and conversation pit areas on the
main concourse.
However, funds were far from unlimited and a strategy
of reinforcing the best and i^i^i^i^i^i^i^i^i^i^n
upgrading the worst was
adopted  to   avoid  the A strategy of reinforcing
modification of quality areas.   tne best an(| upgrading
Presently underway is the
work identified as the west the worst was adopted to
side precinct/main concourse avojj (he modification of
renovation. Within the scope
of work is the remodelling of
the conversation lounge to ^^^^^^^^^^^^—
accomodate a future entry from the west side of the
building, a new lighting system which is being fabricated
by a local metal artist, a hard-wood floor, refurbishg of
sofas and chairs and a fresh coat of paint (it's been 28
years since the last paint job in some areas). Renovations
will  be completed by the end of September.
In refurbishing the public areas of the Student Union
Building, we see two distinct needs: to improve light levels
for safe activity and to enhance these areas with
metaphoric meaning. The two areas identified for lighting
improvement are: the active, linear concourse and the
quieter, reflective conversation lounge.
quality areas.
Our metaphoric concept is:
We IWOgnize the need to "Students are on a vital yet
make possible a building difficult developmental journey.
Life is transitional and this
free Of concerns for       j0urney can be difficult. At times
physical safety. the pathway is defined, but it
may be uncharted and
^^———■^^^—^^^— unknown. The traveller passes
through strange places with fear and danger as a
companion, yet there are discoveries and revelations
along the way. Above all else, there remains hope for the
Our response has been to design a series of charts
and paths though mythical landscapes which will be
precisely executed by a local sculptor.
The suspended dishes in the conversation lounge are
overall charts identifying the astral and terrestrial
environments. Applied shapes allude to selected areas
which relate to the more detailed maps in the concourse.
The lateral troughs crossing the concourse respond
to the activity and movement there with complementary
rhythms and more precise charts. Here, the pathways of
the traveller are shown in detail, as well as patterns and
symbols defining places on one's journey.
The kinds of travel in each of these environments vary:
Long arcs in outer space, landing zones on the moon,
hiking trails over difficult terrestrial terrain, and sailing
courses   responding   to   winds   on   the   ocean.
Light is radiant energy which brings life, interacting
with users to facilatate progress. All that we know about
the universe originates from light, and light guides us on
our path through life toward spritual enlightenment. Light
is a manifestation of the creative, and symbolizes eternity.
These light modulators are hopeful future-oriented
sculptures which will bring an unearthly optimism to the
improved Student Union Building. A speakers'platform,
a permanent speaker system and a mural commemorating
the 'Great Trek' to be completed by UBC students in
October, will galvanize this area as the center of student
Members of the Renovations Planning Group:
Am Johal, Chair -
Michael Kingsmilt, Designer -
Michael Blackman, Engineering Rep.
Lisa Cohen, F & N Sciences Rep.
Nicola Ashurst, Agriculture Rep.
CynthiaWickstrom, Finance Com. Rep.
Joe Cheng, SAC Rep.
Ryan McCuaig, Member-at-Large
Next meeting is at 5 pm, September 7th in
Rm. 224 of SUB.
All meetings are open to students of UBC.
Prepared by your Student Society news
Maple trees granted stay of execution
by Charlie Cho
The chainsaws have been silenced. After the removal of
twenty-six silver maple trees on
University Boulevard, Transportation and Highways Minister
Jackie Pement declared a moratorium last Wednesday in response to public outcry.
Kate Roach, the ministry's
project manager, will form a
board to review the health ofthe
maples. Candidates for the panel
include the curator of Van Dusen
Gardens, a certified arbourist, a
former urban forester, and a botanist.
A public forum on the fate of
not individual trees that one
could argue for cutting down," he
said. "But to bring down an excess of two hundred trees, for
dendrological reasons-I will not
Kronzucker feels that most of
the trees could be saved if they
were properly pruned. "You have
to maintain...a regular pruning
exercise, which is necessary every
other year, sometimes every
year," he said. "Of course, that's
costlier than cutting down the
entire row of trees completely,
which is what they're opting for."
The oldest of the trees are
about 75 years old. "Silver ma-
"I'm not saying that there are not individual
trees that one could argue for cutting down,
but to bring down an excess of two hundred
trees, for dendrological reasons -I will not
endorse." - Botany Prof Herbert Kronzucker
the trees will be held in mid-September. The forum will include
presentations of cross-sections of
the felled trees and possible
choices for replacements. "It will
be an open session for comments
and it will be an information session for people who want to know
more," said Roach.
According to Roach, independent arbourists who evaluated
the trees concluded that fifty-nine
were prone to "collapse on their
own volition, either from too
much weight on the top, stem
failure through the main portion
of the trunk, or base failure."
Ken McGregor, a certified
arbourist hired by the ministry to
determine which trees needed to
be removed, agreed there are serious problems with them. "The
number one hazard is the decay
progressing into the canopy
where the tree turns into multiple stems," he said. "It's not a
matter of the trees falling down,
it's weak points where they
branch out."
However, Dr. Herbert
Kronzucker, a UBC Botany professor whose area of expertise is
tree physiology, does not feel that
removal of the trees is appropriate. "I'm not saying that there are
pies can get much older than the
ones you have on University
Boulevard," said Kronzucker.
"Silver maple, in its natural habitat, [lives] from 120 to 200 years."
Roach believes that the trees'
less than ideal environment will
significantly shortens their
lifespan to 75 to 80 years.
"They've got compacted root systems. They've got nowhere to get
any nutrients. No one's fed them
for years, fertilized them, or done
anything," she said.
She also cautions against pruning the older maples. Pruning
exposes the inner tissue of the
tree, leaving it vulnerable to other
hazards. "We found a number of
trees that had termite infestation
as well as carpenter ants," she
But Kronzucker argued that
proper pruning should be part of
normal maintenance for the trees.
"The trees are doing fine right
now. Is [pruning] a shock? Will it
kill the tree? In most cases, it will
not. If pruning is done properly,
it will do nothing to the maple
stem," he said.
There are still twenty-four silver maples which are classified by
the Ministry as "hazardous or undue risk trees".
UBC Botany Prof Herbert Kronzucker says that the silver maple trees that were being cut down on      CHRIS nuttall-smith photo
University Boulevard are still healthy.
Peer Program aims to help international
students adjust to life at UBC campus
by Andy Ferris
Newly arrived international
students often have a difficult
time adjusting to life at UBC. The
Peer Program, a volunteer effort
initiated by International Student
Services, matches these students
with UBC peers to help with the
transition to life in Canada and
on campus.
Karen Hallett, the program
coordinator says the program
operates as a "buddy system" to
provide foreign students with a
support network. "Cultural adjustments [are] the really big
ones," Hallet said. "There's the
daily stuff like life skills, banking,
buying bus tickets, finding a place
to live.
"All sorts of symptoms arise
when you're going through cross-
cultural transition, and [students]
can become quite severely depressed."
The program prefers undergraduates in their third and fourth
years, graduate students, and
mature students. One ofthe goals
is to match participants' study
areas and hobbies to maximize
the benefits for both students.
Kitreal Chin acted as a peer to
an international student. "What
[the program] did was match me
up more or less with someone I
would be compatible with... Say
if I wanted to learn a second Ian-
"All sorts of
symptoms arise
when you're going
through cross-
cultural transition..."
Karen Hallett
Peer Program coordinator
guage like French I could specify
whom I wanted. They would try
and match you up with [a French
Hallett expanded on the benefits for Canadian participants.
"There is the immediate reward
of volunteering. You're doing
something that's extremely useful, altruistic really."
Tomoko Kitayama, a partici
pant in the program in 1990,
found the program to be "a very
big help. I knew a few people off
campus, but not on campus."
Some major changes are
planned for this year's Peer Program. The program has received
a substantial increase in funding
from the university's Teaching
and Learning Enhancement
Fund. Hallett says the added
funding will make it possible to
bring together as many as 224
pairs, as compared to last year's
"There has never been any
funding before for any kind of
advertising," says Hallett. "We're
trying to really put the push on."
International students will also
have their own orientation week
for this first time this year. Hallet
hopes to recruit a large number
of international students there,
but adds *it doesn't work if you
can't get the Canadian students
to be the peer."
Interested UBC or international students can pick up application forms from International
House or call 822-5021.
Thursday, August 24,1995
The Summer Ubyssey talking heads
The Ubyssey went out
and asked students the
following question:
"How do you
feel about
McDonald's on
photos by Andy Bonfield
Ian McKinnon, 3rd year Creative Writing:
"I think it sucks. We have the AMS outlets which employ students. I don't think there's any way McDonald's
is going to employ students and if they do it will certainly be at a lower wage than either the AMS or
people who work for CUPE will ever earn.''
Lea Anne Brueton, Masters student in Planning: "It sounds good. It's free enterprise, that's the
way UBC seems to work, so if it affects Food Services,
if it makes them more competitive then so be it."
Cory Fawcett, 1st year Dentistry: "I want my
SUBWAY back!"
Hiroshi Matsuzawa, 3rd year Arts: "I think it's
good. There's not much cheap eating at UBC. It's not
that convenient to classes but it's good to have a variety here."
Jacquie Dyck. 4th year Human Kinetics: "Great!
I'll need a place to work when I graduate. Would
you like fries with that?"
WAVAW/Rape Crisis Centre
Women Needed fo do
Rape Crisis Work!
Are you pro woman?
Do you want to end violence against women?
Then our next volunteer training is for you, and we need
you to join us in this work! The next extensive training
begins in September 1995 for twelve weeks,
Wednesdays 7-10pm & Sundays 11pm-5pm.
We want the women in the colle ctive to reflect the
diversity of women in our community. WAVAW
encourages all women to join our volunteer traiing!
Childcare and transportation subsidies available. Sign
language interpreters will be provided.
For more info &. an application -form please call
2G6-622.& (voice) or 25S-0110 (TTY)
Big Mac   continued from page 1
Red Star Restaurant cited garbage and litter as a chief concern.
Many University Hill residents
are also worried over the lack of
parking available for the new
Marcu says he's aware of the
parking problem. "We'd like to
see more parking, but there isn't
the parking there, and there isn't
much we can do about it."
The only parking in the area
is the metered street parking
along a short stretch of University Blvd, and the UEL has no
intention of allocating more parking space to the developer.
Noise and smell were also
listed as potential problems.
"We'll have to put up with their
sickening stench," said Mary
Berk, UBC law student and resi
dent of Acadia Park, a nearby
housing project for students with
families. "I hate the smell of it."
At least one local resident is
pleased to see a McDonald's
coming. "They have good food,"
said Kelly-anne, aged 8, when
asked why she liked McDonald's.
The restaurant is expected to
open for business some time between November and January.
The Summer Ubyssey has finished publishing for
this year.
Fall publication for The Ubyssey begins Wedenesday, September 6,1995.
Copy deadline for the first issue is Friday, September 1.
other funky things:
*new time: Ubyssey staff meeting: Wednesday, August 30, 1995. 12:30pm
Open House special issue story meeting:
Come, share your ideas. Get funky assignments. We need writers, photogs,
graphic artists...
Thursday, August 31, 1:30pm. SUB241K
The Summer Ubyssey
August 24,1995 imM*
The Verve - A Northern Soul [Virgin]
Look, I gotta confess — I'm a real sucker for anything that's
even remotely psychedelic. What can I say in my own self
defense, except that — well, I sort of grew up listening to the
Grateful Dead. Hell, they once played a gig at our rival high
school back when I was a snotnosed young punk. Which kind
of leads into what I think Verve sounds like. There does appear
to be a Grateful Dead influence, circa the Live Dead album,
at work in Verve's music. But then, there are echoes of various incarnations of psychedelia, including, most noticeably,
Echo and The Bunnymen. Even U2 circa Boy and Pink Floyd,
back when Sid Barret was the mainstay of the band, get a bit
more than just a look in.
Oh dear, this does rather sound like the band's influences
are protruding noticeably through their music. Alas, this is
true. But what the hell? It's psychedelic, so who gives a fuck
anyway? Not me. I just sit back and enjoy! Pass the cuchie,
inon; I've got a midterm in Differential Equations tommorrow
and it's time to fry some brain cells ... - Andy the grate
Michael Roe - Safe as Milk [Via]
Listening to the final, fading notes on the 77s' last album,
Drowning with Land in Sight, I wondered how long newly
divorced 77s frontman Michael Roe could continue subjecting his bandmates to the highly personalized despair that had
obviously fuelled his post-connubial writings. He was writing
great songs, but were these screams into the void really what
the band wanted to say as a band?
Apparently Roe himself was aware of this problem, hence
this, his first solo album. The subterranean growl of 'The
Stellazine Prophecy' recalls the menace of Browning's 'Snake',
but by and large, Safe as Milk is a far more melancholic album
than anything the 77s ever did. The wistful nostalgia of 'Holy
Day' and the sorrowful plea of 'Ache Beautiful' bracket the
album and keep its more optimistic elements on a cautious
leash (but even these moments of hope, acoustic and ballady
as they are, sound downright jaded).
Personal pain can make for great art, and at his best, Roe
is capable of drawing the listener into his woes and evoking a
genuine sympathy, even empathy. But after two albums of this
one-sided commisserating, I'm beginning to wonder what the
ex-wife would have to say.
(By the way, the only edition of Safe as Milk available
through the Canadian distributors inexplicably omits three of
the better songs and screws up the order and the pacing of
the rest of the album. Get the 12-song version if you can.)
- Peter T. Chattaway
Wailing Souls - Live On [Zoo/BMGl
Wailing Souls' Live On soulfully combines the sounds of
R&B with traditional reggae. The album's high points are
reached during its more danceable tracks.
Live On's most outstanding selection is the funky, lively
opener, 'Bandits'; it certainly has the potential to become a
dance/reggae classic. The majority ofthe album, however, focuses on a politically inclined form of reggae delivering messages of inspiration and love.
The lyrics arc straightforward and non-metaphorical in typical reggae fashion. 'Don't Give Up' and 'O.K. Corral' depict
the struggles of society's less fortunate and the need for change.
Wailing Souls' cover songs produce mixed results: their cover
of Steam's'Na, Na, Hey, Hey, Kiss Him Goodbye' is completely
out of place on this album, unlike the energetic remake of
Paul Simon's 'Mother and Child Reunion'.
Live On will not appeal to everyone, but it should be a
delight to reggae fans. - Janet Winters
UBC Symphony Orchestra &
- Symphonic Band
Do you play violin, cello, bass, clarinet,
euphonium or tuba?
Perform with the UBC Orchestra or Band-
Credit or Non-Credit
822-8246 or 822-3113
Opera a surreal packa
Lesley Ewen, Vaughn Fulford, and Andrew Johnston star in The Threepenny Opera.
The Threepenny Opera
August 25 at Douglas Park; August 26 at
MacLean Park; August 27 at Nelson Park
by Martha Niessen
Bertolt Brecht changed the poeticface of Germany
with his provocative approach to communication. He
broke away from conventional drama by introducing
"epic theatre", whereby the songs ("works within the
work") and actors would reflect on the characters and
the text during their performance.
In Ruby Slippers' rendition of The Threepenny Op
era, such Brechtian techniques include a chorus of
prostitutes who, in denouncing women who don't
stand up for their rights, cite an article in the theatre
company's publication which asserts that Brecht
filched much of his text from a mistress.
Such heavy irony blends perfectly with the play's
overall cynicism. Imagine operatic voices singing: "The
world is full of shit / That's all there is to it / That's
why it's so bloody boring." Overacting and exaggeration combine with blunt vulgarity and jazzy rhythms
to create a unique, surreal package of offbeat expression, all delivered in an outdoor setting.
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twdemaiks of «" Political oppression and a teensy bit of revenge
The Blue Kite and Beyond Rangoon deal with history; Desperado goes mainstream
The Blue Kite
at the Ridge August 25 ■
by Andy Barham
A blue kite flying overhead is the first
image we see, as Tietou (Chen Xiaoman)
describes the place where he grew up
with his mother. As he describes The
Street of the Dry Well, the camera pans
down to street level, and we enter the
story. It is 1953, only four years after the
revolution which brought Mao
Zedong to power, and Josef
Staliri has just died.
It is a heady time of revolutionary fervour and youthful idealism in the New
China, when the great Utopian promise of Communism
still seems possible. In this respect, the film could be said
to carry on where Fanshen left
Fanshen (which means "to
turn over") was written by an
American living in the country
village of Longbow during and
shortly after the revolution. It
chronicled the changes brought
about by communism, and was'
itself filled with idealism and
However, Tietou's home is no
Longbow; rather. The Street of the
Dry Well lies in a suburban district
of Beijing. In Fanshen, the privations of war and famine are relieved
by the revolution. Fanshen therefore closes upon the same note of
heady idealism 7!he Blue Kite opens with.
We first catch a glimpse of high level
corruption through Zhu Ying (Zhang
Hong), the attractive girlfriend of
Shujuan's brother Shusheng (Zhong Ping),
both of whom are airforce veterans. Her
superior officer insists that she dance for
China's leaders. When she refuses, she is
first transfered to a menial factory job,
then sent to prison. Good looking army
women were expected to dance and perform for top officials in the new regime,
and Tian Zhuangzhuang is credited with
being the first filmmaker to depict such
practices (which may also have included
the bestowing of sexual favours).
No one in the hew China is safe; even
Shujuan's older sister, a Marxist-Leninist
ideologue who never fails to spout the
party line, will herself be humiliated by
the Red Guard. Shujuan herself loses three
husbands during the tumultuous period
between 1953 and 1966, each succumbing, in one way or another, to the vicissitudes of the times.
The film closes with a severely beaten
Tietou, now an adolescent, lying on the
ground as the camera pans back up to
the blue kite, which ties in tatters within
the barren limbs of an old tree.
No one familiar with the history of
modern China can be ignorant of the violent excesses of the Red Guard during the
Cultural Revolution, which may well have
been the bloodiest period in post-WWII
China. Thus, I'd expected the film to be a
lot more violent than it was. Instead, these
events were severely understated, director Tian Zhuanzhuang concentrating on
Tietou and his family, and how the events
affect them personally.
Like some of Hitchcock's better works,
this understating of the The Cultural
Revolution's violence serves to underscore
its tragedy, making it real in a way that
the ultra-graphic depiction of violence so
characteristic of modern American filmmaking fails to do. At the close of the film,
I found myself unable to leave the cin
ema for a few moments until I could bring
, my own emotions back under control. The
truth is, I felt like crying, despite knowing beforehand that something awful
would happen before the end of the
Apart from a few minor quibbles I had
with the film — for example, we never
really get a glimpse into the character of
Shujuan's third husband, Wu Leisheng
(Guo Baochang),
Mariachi are notably absent from Desperado (you can be funny in Hollywood,
but not experimentally so), but the action
sequences are ridiculously, if enjoyably,
over the top (Sam Raimi could learn from
this guy), and the minor characters pepper laughs throughout the film.
Let's begin with the most minor of all:
Quentin   Tarantino's
Wue Kite underscores
the trageoy "pick-up guy". Report-
til shortly before his impending arrest — I can well understand
why this film won over audiences in the
various film festivals where it played, including Cannes. It is an engrossing and
moving protrait of a mother and her son
during a tumultuous and often harrowing period of recent history.
opens August 25 at Cineplex
by Peter T. Chattaway
Made for a mere $7000, Robert
Rodriguez's El Mariachi was a festival-
circuit hit that embodied the best traditions of low-budget filmmaking: surreal
dream sequences, experimental camera
angles, a tough-talking female role, a
tacky soundtrack, and the sort of nihilistic sadism that kills everyone, friend or
foe, within a mile of the hero (who does
not go unscatched himself). Above all, it
had an eye-catching gimmick: a guitar
case filled with weapons. The wandering minstrel became a troubadour terminator.
Hollywood shelled out a million or two
to buy the film and upgrade it to the
35mm format. Now, with the sequel Desperado, comes the real makeover. With
the money at his disposal, Rodriguez can
afford to destroy an entire building or two,
crash cars together for a cheap slapstick
joke, and flood the screen with (literally)
buckets of fake blood.
Most significantly. Desperado eschews
the Everyman look of El Mariachi's cast
in favour of stellar cameos; this big-name
approach reaches its climax in the replacement of pudgy, .fresh-faced Carlos
Gallardo (the original Mariachi, he appears briefly in Desperado as one of the
Mariachi's sidekicks) with bankable, sensual stud Antonio Banderas.
At least Rodriguez hasn't lost his sense
of humour. To be sure, the fast-motion
photography and screeching-tires sound
effects that halted his steadicam in El
edly, Rodriguez wanted to give him a
taste of his own gory medicine; frankly.
Video Boy gave himself a more significant role in Reservoir Dogs. (Along the
way, Tarantino gets a chance to walk his
shtick and plagiarize yet another anecdote — let's hear it for that lateral dialogue! Now, what was the film about,
again?) Cheech Marin has a hilarious turn
as an irascible bartender, and Steve
Buscemi gets the film off to a beautiful
start as the teller of tall tales who makes
ready the path of the Mariachi; hopping
up and down on his barstool as he spins
his story, he comes across like a shrivelled Jon Lovitz (in perfect yeah-thafs-
the-ticket Pathological Liar mode) on a
caffiene high.
Less funny - though he tries - is Clear
and Present Danger's Joaquim de
Almeida as Bucho, the sort of despotic
druglord who will kill his own henchman as a facetious object lesson to the
others. Apparently Bucho is somehow
related to the nasties who plagued the
Mariachi and killed his lover in the first
film, and the Mariachi wants revenge.
Distinctly non-funny — apart from the
work she performs on the Mariachi's
bullet wound — is Carolina (Salma
Hayek), the woman from Bucho's past
who strikes up an affair with the peripatetic Mariachi. Forget the strength
of will that made the ill-fated love
interest in El Mariachi so interesting: this new girl's looks and sounds
far too delicate; her "fuckability" (to
use Sherry Lansing's term) is her
sole raison d'etre. You'll never see
her forcing the Mariachi to compose a song about castration at
Which brings us to Banderas. When all
the wise-cracking sidekicks and gun-toting machismoids are cleared away, the
film must ultimately rely on his performance alone, and it works, to a point.
Banderas balances his role with some
finely introspective moments when he
isn't twisting his way through shamelessly choreographed shoot-outs, but at
times he gets too serious. ■,
For this the blame must go to
Rodriguez. El Mariachi was a pure exercise in low-budget narrative, unfettered
by grand moral statements and half-assed
stabs at "redeeming value". It didn't matter who the gunmen were, or why their
cartel existed, so long as they were shot.
Desperado sacrifices this amoral
purity by waxing eloquent on the
villains' drug trade, and offering
stale moralistic commentary on the
side. In addition, its final left-field
plot twist is a total clunker: it
doesn't resonate with anything
we've seen in either of the two
Not that continuity is a big
concern here. The Mariachi left
the first film-with- a motorbike,
a docile pit bull, and an affinity
for turtles. None qf these make
it into Desperado, and I would
not be surprised if this film was
similarly ignored by its successors. But when you're paying to see bloody carnage,
who gives a fig for consistency?
Beyond Rangoon
opens August 25 at
Cineplex theatres
by John Bolton
On August 8, 1988 in Burma, 200,000
people took to the streets to protest three
decades of oppressive rule by the Burmese Socialist Program Party. The demonstration was peaceful, but military police opened fire on the students, Buddhist
monks, women and children. The death
toll numbered 10,000. This happened
only a year before Tiananmen Square. But
the events in Btirma weren't televised,
nor were they met with international outrage or sympathy. Instead, they went
largely unnoticed.
Elections were held in Burma for the
first time in 30 years in 1990. The National League for Democracy won the
majority of seats. However, the election
results were never honoured and
the govern-
paWc,a Arquettei*       '^
ment is now
in exile in Washington, D.C.
I learned all this from a pamphlet
handed to me after the screening of Beyond Rangoon, the new film from John
Boorman and the first to deal with the
situation in Burma. The handout urges
that the Burmese "need help from their
friends abroad."
I agree it is the responsibility
of free countries to take up their
struggle. Making a movie about Burma
was probably a good idea. The filmmakers have their hearts in the right
place, but the fact remains that the
aforementioned pamphlet is far more
compelling than the film. Trust me, I've
seen them both.
In the first place. Beyond Rangoon
is not really about the Burmese. It's the
story of an American doctor, Laura
Bowman (Patricia Arquette), who is
traveling with her sister (Frances
McDormand) in the Burmese capital of
Rangoon. She is mourning the brutal,
apparently unmotivated slayings of her
husband and son (seen in gruesome,
unnecessary flashback).
we to juoi ycuiiiy laiiuucu vvitu uitafl
and their wacky, tour guide (Spalding
Gray) when Laura loses her passport
and finds herself stranded in Rangoon
for at least another week.
That's the last we see of McDormand
and Gray, and Arquette is left to carry
the film on her own. Just for kicks, she
pays a friendly local (U Aung Ho) to escort her past military checkpoints to see
the countryside, where she immediately becomes involved in the fight for
Arquette is an engaging and sexy
actress when properly cast, but here
she isn't believable in the lead. Like
Patrick Swayze in City of Joy (another
tale of an emotionally scarred American doctor alone in a ravaged foreign
country), she simply doesn't have the
range. Laura keeps her emotional distance for most of the film, except when
she gets really pissed off, so Arquette
merely looks indifferent a great deal
of the time.
To be fair, she isn't helped by uninspired direction and a pretty awful
script, which offers little in the way of
character development. Her transformation from brooding, suffering soul to
purposeful radical is unconvincing.
There's also weak dialogue ("The
dream was so vivid, I felt I was
awake"), some amazingly bad rearview
projection and way too much music;
to give you an idea how out of control the situation was, the credits listed a 'score wrangler'.
Beyond Rangoon is only ostensibly about Burma, and Laura's inner journey is neither plausible nor
interesting enough to carry the
film. The decision to show us the
events of August 8, 1988 from an
outsider's perspective was a bad
one. In trying to draw parallels between Laura's suffering and that of
the Burmese, the filmmakers simplify
the issue beyond belief.
Judging by the pamphlets and publicity surrounding the film, there are
hopes that Beyond Rangoon will make
a difference. I doubt it will, and that's
a shame. By the end of the film Laura
and her freedom-fighting friends are
running for their lives across a bridge
under heavy artillery fire, and it's nothing more than a poorly done action
sequence right out of Rambo III. Then
again, Beyond Rangoon clarifies the
situation in Burma in much the same
way Stallone's film encouraged discussion of the Afghanistan conflict.
We live in a free country. No one is
forcing you to see this film; read the
pamphlet instead.
Crowds gather Under the Volcano
Under the Volcano
11 days ago at Cates Park
by Federico Barahona
"We don't know what this is in benefit of, but
whatever cause it is, we support it," declared
the lead singer of Victoria's cow punk goddesses.
The Vinaigrettes, summing up the mood at this
year's Sixth Annual Under the Volcano Festival
of Arts and Social Change.
More like a gathering of people under one big
sky than a music festival. Under the Volcano
prides itself on being a true alternative festival
that sets its own agenda.
As opposed to a corporate agenda a la
Lollapalooza? "This is not a Molson rock fest,"
an organizer pointed out, when asked how Under the Volcano compared to other summer attractions. "Hey, we don't charge you $35 for the
day." In fact, Under the Volcano charges no admission (apart from the donations of festival
Regardless of how you feel about corporate
sponsorship, what makes Under the Volcano a
truly worthwhile event is its diversity. After all,
where else can you experience children's per-
One of the performers at Under the Volcano.
formers. Native traditional dancing, cutting
edge poetry, hardcow punk world music, as
well as international short films, all in one
Strangely enough, most of this year's
highlights took place on the second, more
intimate, stage. The beats and rhythms of
Ramon Flores and Kin Lalat proved that
there's more to the local Latin American music scene than B.C. Salsa's brand of generic
cumbias. The Vinaigrettes - "Patsy Cline
fronting L7" - sped through their set with
an odd combination of humour and brutality: accessibility, with alternativeness.
Jeet Kei's Chinafied hip hop suffered from
a muddy mix, but his rhymes about Mumia
Abu-Jamal — a Philadelphia journalist unjustly accused of killing a cop, now fighting
for his life on death row - came across loud
and clear.
On the first stage, Sawagi Taiko, a drum
group made up of five Asian women, took
everyone by surprise. Sawagi Taiko performed traditional Japanese songs, interchanging lyrics on Asian stereotypes portrayed in the mass media, and the role that
pieces like Miss Saigon play in perpetuating stereotypes. Needless to
say, the crowd demanded to hear encore after encore and, happily, Sawagi
Taiko complied.
The real highlight of the festival, however, was this year's innovation: The International Activist Film & Video Festival, which featured short films and documentaries from around the world. Some
of the best titles included Blockade, a
documentary exploring the conflict between a white settler community and
First Nations; New World Murder, a nine-
ininute look at the role of the media during the Gulf War; and Green Guerillas, a
look into the efforts by the Philippines'
New People's Army to save the rain for-
One of the band members from Sawagi Taiko.
ests from logging companies.
Not everything ran smoothly, however. Under the Volcano 1995 did have some problems.
Some people felt that the lack of a "big" headlining act gave the festival a lack of focus (the
last two festivals were headlined by P.O.W.E.R.
and Bob's Your Uncle). The film festival could
have benefited from bigger screens and a better sound system. The distant music from the
first stage made it, at times, difficult to pay attention to the images on the screens. And, finally, two women who started dancing topless were not amused by the cops' pleas to put
their tops back on, "or else."
These are bugs that will be worked out, no
Modern compositions have attitude
Decade VI
11 days ago at the Metropolitan Tabernacle
by Christopher Norman
Classical musicians often tend to be unwilling participants in the
composer's attempt to force his or her will upon innocent air molecules. The
resulting distortion of his or her intentions may well be the reason why
people tend to complain that composers are unable to "reach out" and "connect" with the audience.
Happily, performance standards have improved, and when modern music is played as brilliantly and compellingly as it was by 16 members of the
Hornby Festival Ensemble during the Decade VI concert, there's no reason
why any strong-minded person can't enjoy it.
One of the great things about the show was the rather eclectic programme;
the disparate nature of the various pieces made it clear that "modernity" is
not a style, but an attitude towards composition, and that there are as many
different kinds of modern music as there are composers, even in the reputedly "austere" 1950s.
The first piece played was Canadian Jacques Hetu's Trio for flute, oboe
and harpsichord. This was a ravishingly beautiful piece of music: incredibly
rich in harmonic and instrumental colour, and visceral and exciting in its
complex rhythmic twists. The performance itself was probably the best of
the evening. The players had perfect intonation and ensemble, and blended
together very clearly.
After that they were joined by a cellist for Elliot Carter's Sonata for flute,
oboe, cello and harpsichord. I've heard a lot of Carter's stuff, and although I
admire his craftsmanship, I can almost never listen to him for more than a
few minutes. This piece was no exception; it had a lot of activity to interest
me through the first movement, but after a bit ofthe slow second movement
I couldn't follow it anymore. This was no fault of the performers; they
performed as well as they could, but it would have been nice to have the
harpsichord a bit louder and the cello in particular a bit quieter.
That said, the only real disappointment of the show was Witold
Lutoslawski's Dance Preludes for Clarinet and Piano. It was a set of five
very short, unmemorable pieces based on Polish dance rhythms. (It's not
really Witold's fault; it was 1954, and composers in the Eastern bloc had
to conform to the Communist party principles of accessibility or else. He
got better later on.) Lori Freedman's clarinet playing probably didn't help.
She sounded strained, as if she was labouring to get each note out, and
sometimes the sound of her blowing into the instrument was louder
than the tone coming out.
Two pieces by Karlheinz Stockhausen followed. This is a man who
has been relentless in his pursuit of the coveted "Bad Boy of Music" title
since the late '40s. Despite his mania for being the first kid on the block
for everything, he's managed some decent music. His Sonatine for violin
and piano is a very early piece (1951); it's an inoffensive serial work with
some nice tunes. Well-played, but nothing to get worked up about.
His Refrain for three instrumentalists was a more interesting listening
experience. It consists of disjointed clusters of percussion and piano
"events" that Stockhausen describes as "a quiet and spaciously composed continuity of sounds [which] is disturbed six times by a short refrain." The points at which the refrain is heard are chosen by the players. I assume the performance was accurate, although I doubt I would
have known the difference even if I'd had the score to follow. It was an
mtriguing series of atmospheric effects, but again, not one of Karl's masterpieces.
The main event was Pierre Boulez's cantata Le Marteau Sans Maitre.
This was one of the most influential pieces of the '50s; with its unusual
instrumentation (guitar, vibraphone, flute, viola, percussion), radical to-
tal-serialism technique, and innovative colours (a combination of Webem-
type austerity and Messiaen-esque exoticism), it's also Boulez's best-
known work. It's in nine parts, four of which are poems by Rene Char set
for mezzo-soprano, while the other five are instrumental "commentaries". The performance was fantastic — clean, clear, precise, even well-
sung. Although I don't think it was quite as dramatic or as rocking as
either of Boulez's own recordings, it was still a very fine job.
The Vancouver New Music Society will be continuing the Decade series into the '60s, '70s, etc. If you have any interest at all in knowing
what's been going on in the last few decades outside of the solitary
confinement cell of rock, go ahead and catch them. Men's volleyball players go on Korean tour
T  I
ROOKIE Guy Davis "Coming out of high school you can pretty much have your own way, you can
hit wherever you want. You come out here and the ball comes right back in your face pretty fast."
by Scott Hayward
Fifteen men's volleyball players were chosen to take part in a
13 day tour of Korea this weekend.
The weekend of August 18-19
saw 15 players make the cut for
Korea. Of those, seven are returning from last year's team, six
come to UBC with college level
experience and two are true
freshmen. However, going to
Korea does not guarantee players a position on the varsity team
this year.
Coach Dale Ohman is confident that UBC is "definitely in the
hunt" for the national championship this year. "Our setting is intact, our right side is intact, and
"Michael Kurz
came to school
about two weeks
ago. He was the
last missing piece
ofthe puzzle."
Coach Dale Ohman
our middle is intact," he said.
"We've'improved our depth in all
those positions."
Ohman does not think the
team's lack of size in the middle
will be a problem. "Team passing is still a question mark because these guys are good passers
and can run a one or two passer
system, but they haven't proven
themselves ... at the university
The power-hitting spot was a
void which was filled recently.
"Michael Kurz came to school
about two weeks ago. He was the
last missing piece of the puzzle
of my envisioning my starting
line-up and being able to compete in our strong league," said
Student Fee Payment Options
Effective September 1,1995
Please note that Financial Services will no
longer accept cash as a form of payment
for tuition fees effective September 1,1995.
This-change is being made for safety reasons; so students and our counter
staff will not be handling large amounts of cash and be exposed to the
possibility of robbery.
Students can pay tuition fees via:
• Touch Tone Telephone. Contact your bank or
credit union for details.
• Payments by bank Debit Card
tuition fee counter in Brock Hall.
located at the
•Payments by cheque at the tuition fee counter,
by mail, or at any branch of the Bank of Montreal.
•  Cash payments will be accepted, even for
students without bank accounts, at any branch of Bank of Montreal.
However Ohman is quick to
point out that even those players
who go to Korea will have to try
out for the varsity team in September. "We don't have tryouts
until we get back, so it's up to me
to try and identify those people
who I would really like to see play
and who I think should make the
team," he said.
Ohman was especially impressed with freshman Guy Davis
from Calgary. "He's been the surprise of our camp so far because
he's right out of high school," said
Ohman. "He passes really well
and he's got a good jump."
Davis, a first year science student, has had to raise his level of
play at UBC with the varsity
team. "Coming out of high school
you can pretty much have your
own way, you can hit wherever
you want. You come out here and
the ball comes right back in your
face pretty fast. It's a high intensity game."
Davis is excited about making
the trip to Korea, and feels it will
give him an advantage when try-
outs are held in September. "The
coach will know me and I will
have some experience at [the varsity] level," he said. "The first
couple of practices here I was
really intimidated with big guys
and lots of experience here."
Jeremy Westereng will be going to Korea as a second year
player with the T-Birds. He thinks
the team looks good this year,
despite the large turnover of players. "We look pretty sharp, especially considering we don't really
know each other that well yet.
We're getting to know each other
quite fast," he said.
Westereng thinks that Alberta
and Manitoba will be the teams
to beat in the division. "Calgary
and UVic give us some good challenges, but we should be able to
beat them," he said.
Volleyball team tryouts begin
September 11 at 6:30 pm in the
War Memorial Gym, and Ohman
encourages everyone who is interested to come out. Both varsity and junior team tryouts will
be held together. To be eligible
for the junior team, candidates
must have been born after 1975.
VETERAN Jeremy Westereng — looking at the competition
beyond Korea.
Health Education Outreach is
seeking qualified UBC students of
varying backgrounds to join a dynamic
team committed to improving the
health of students on campus.
Particular emphasis will be placed on
safer sex and responsible drinking
through fun, innovative, informative
programs- such as health fairs,
information tables, interactive activities,
campus media/print, promotions,
displays, presentations and special
Training: First mandatory training .
session will take place Sept. 29-Oct.1
Positions' Available: Health
Outreach Peer Educators (up to 20
positions), Peer Leader, Special Events
Assistant, Promotions/Publicity
Assistant, Resource/Office Assistant.
Applications will be accepted until
Friday, September 8 for the Peer
Leader position and Friday,
September 15 for all other positions,
or until suitable candidates are found.
Note: All Peer Educator positions are
voluntary but provide great skill
building and resume experience.
Leader and Assistant positions provide
compensation. T-shirts will be provided
along with several social events
throughout the year.
For Information and an Application
Form please contact:
Pearl Wierenga, Health Education
The University of British Columbia
Student Resources Centre
Room 200 Brock Hall, 1874 East Mall
Vancouver, B.C. V6T 1Z1
Phone 822-4858    Fax 822-4957
The Summer Ubyssey
Thursday, August 24,1995 sports
T-Bird football training camp opens
by Wolf Depner
UBC football players are the
first wave of Thunderbirds to
make the annual migration back
to Point Grey. Training camp
opened last Friday on an overcast
morning with a hint of fall in the
The focus for the upcoming
season, which kicks off September 1 with a home game against
Alberta, is one play at a time.
"We're just gonna go out, work
on attitude, trying to win one play
and then go after the next play
and then continue to do that all
year long," said rookie Head
Coach Casey Smith.
Out of the 70 players on the
roster, 31 are new, including several transfer students. Smith
hopes that they can contribute
right away.
In one game last year, eight
freshmen started on defence.
"When you are doing that in the
Canada West [Conference] that is
pretty tough because a lot of the
other teams are really experienced," said Smith.
Many teams have players who
have already played in junior
leagues before they get to university. "We felt last year that we
were a little bit mis-matched in
[experience] and so we tried to
recruit some older guys to bring
them in," he said.
s* jv^1 •<5W9«^ "fir
NATHAN NGIENC punts as Head Coach Casey Smith (far left) and guest coach Craig Smith look on.
Players optimistic as season starts
by Wolf Depner and
Scott Hayward
Despite last year's disappointing 1-8-1 record, there is cautious
optimism in the UBC football
Fourth year quarterback
Adrian Rainbow reflected on last
year's collapse. "We stuck together pretty well, but when
you're 1-8-1 it's pretty easy to start
pointing fingers," he said. "It got
to the point where everyone expected to lose, and there's no way
you're going to win that way."
However Rainbow is enthusi
astic because this year's team is
older and more experienced.
Much of the defense is returning
and they "came in this year a lot
more prepared and a lot more
like veterans," he said. "I think
we look a lot better."
Rainbow sees a solid starting
offensive line in front of him, but
one that needs some more depth.
"That will come when some of
the new guys learn our system,"
he said.
The team also picked up some
experienced recruits from junior
leagues "that can step in and start
right away," said Rainbow. One
MARK NOHRA cuts up field after taking a hand off from backup
quarterback Tony Lucas
of these players is the soft-spoken
Jamacian-born Ashford Baker, a
26-year old tail-back known for
his ability to weave through opposing defences.
Prior to coming to UBC, Baker
played four years with the
Calgary Colts ofthe Alberta Junior Football League who won two
National Junior Championships.
That experience is reflected in his
attitude. "I want to help the team
as much as I can. I want to win. I
did't come here to lose," he said.
This will be the last UBC training camp for star running back
Brad Yamaoka. Yamaoka's focus
is on having a fun year and contributing on the field. "Hopefully
I can win a couple of games for
the team," he said.
But he stressed that football is
a team game and for the Birds to
win, everybody has to play well.
"We've definitely got the skills [to
Turning pro is a definite option
for Yamaoka who will enter the
up-coming CFL entry draft. He
is unphased by proposals to reduce the number of Canadians
required on Canadian team rosters.
Neither is third-year wide-receiver/return-specialist Grayson
Shillingford. "As long as you can
get the numbers up, it should be
all right," he said. Running the 40
in 4.4 seconds, Shillingford could
be fast approaching his dream of
playing pro football.
Fourth-year quarterbacks
Adrian Rainbow and Jason Day
will again lead the offence and
Smith has nothing but praise for
the tandem. "Both are really good
leaders^ they understand our offence and they've been in the
league for a while."
Smith also speaks highly of his
wide receivers which include
1994 All-Canadian Andrew English and 1993 Canada West
Rookie Grayson Shillingford, Jr.
"He's just a burner," raved Smith.
The Birds are also strong at
running back as veterans Brad
Yamaoka and Mark Nohra return
as starters. Speedster Ashford
Baker will also get some carries.
On defence, the line backer
corps has been bolstered by sev
eral transfer students and should
be "solid." The Birds will count
on Alan Wesenberg, John Saari
and Andrew Walters to provide
leadership as the defence matures. Defence is Smith's biggest
concern going into the season.
There are also some questions
on special teams. Wide receiver
Andrew English will place-kick
again this year. "[Punting] is a big
area of concern," said Smith. Last
year's punter Rob Phillips graduated, so expect third-year player
Nathan Ngieng to take over.
While it is far too early to tell
how the Birds will fare in the
tough Canada West conference,
Smith is upbeat. "There is a good
atmosphere around and the guys
are excited."
CFL'ers to coach defense
by Scott Hayward
The T-Birds football team has
bolstered its ranks off the field by
hiring two top notch coaches with
CFL experience. Laurent (Lou)
Des Lauriers and James "Quick"
Parker bring their knowledge of
defense in to help rookie head
coach Casey Smith rebuild the
"I think the biggest thing is that
everyone really respects both of
them, because obviously they
were both phenomenal athletes
in the game. But also, they really
teach the game well," said
quarterback Adrian Rainbow.
After beginning his career with
the T-Birds between 1980 and
1983, Des Laurier played five seasons in the CFL with the Edmonton Eskimos and the Toronto
He will be stressing the basics:
tackling and postioning. "I try
and stress strong fundamentals,
not only in the physical aspect,
but I think we have to understand
and know the game. If we do that,
I think it will take us to the football and being in position to make
plays," he said.
He is cautiously optimistic
about the young T-Bird defensive
line and hopes it will maintain
consistency. "'Quick' [Parker] has
done an excellent job on those
kids' confidence and that's half of
it -just believing in yourself and
your teammates."
Parker played with the Edmonton Eskimos of the CFL. He has
coached with several teams including the BC Lions and, most
recently, the Saskatchewan
Roughriders. Parker also stresses
the fundamentals: blocking, tackling, and a proper pass rush.
Expect an aggressive defense
which is not afraid to blitz the
quarterback this year. "We're not
going to sit back. I've never
played like that," said Parker.
"[We're] not going to wait to see
what the offense is doing. We
want to dictate the play."
After reviewing some tapes
from last year's defense, Parker
promised that the defense will be
more organized this year. "They
ain't gonna run up and down the
field like they did last year, I guarantee that."
FREE Lectures and Hands-On Tutorials
A FREE lecture and tutorial series has been created to help familiarize
faculty, staff and students with the computing facilities at UBC. A
companion document to the lecture series, entitled UBC Roadmap to
Computing, will be for sale at the UBC Bookstore. All lectures will
take place in the Instructional Resource Center (in the same building
as the Woodward library) in the rooms noted below. For more information about the lecture series, please call 822-5809, or send e-mail to
roadmap @cs.ubc. ca.
Electronic Mail:   Sept. 6, 12:30 - 1:30 (Rm. 4), Sept. 14, 4:30 - 5:30 (Rm. 6)
Netinfo/Interchange:   Sept. 6, 4:30 - 5:30 (Rm. 6), Sept. 14, 12:30 - 1:30, (Rm. 6)
Intro to UBCL1B (UBC Library's on-line catalogue,:  Sept. 7, 12:30 - 1:30 (Rm. 6)
Intro to UNIX:   Sept. 7, 4:30 - 5:30 (Rm. 6), Sept. 11, 12:30-1:30 (Rm. 4)
Intro to C:   Sept. 8, 12:30 - 1:30 (Rm. 4), Sept. 11,4:30 - 5:30 (Rm. 6)
The Web and News:   Sept. 8, 4:30 - 5:30 (Rm. 6), Sept. 13, 12:30 - 1:30 (Rm. 4)
UNIX Editors:   Sept. 12, 12:30 -1:30 (Rm. 1), Sept. 15, 4:30 - 5:30 (Rm. 6)
LaTeX (UNIX text formatting language,:   Sept. 15, 12:30-1:30 (Rm. 4)
X Windows (graphical user interface for UNIX,:   Sept. 13, 4:30 - 5:30 (Rm. 6)
NEW this fall, we are offering two FREE hands-on tutorials: Introduction to UNIX, and Introduction to C programming. Each tutorial
is 2 hours in length, and you will work on an X Windows (graphical)
terminal running UNIX. As space is limited, please phone 822-0557,
or send e-mail to roadmap®cs.ubc.ca , in order to reserve a space.
This program was made possible through the support of The Teaching and
Learning Enhancement Fund and The Department of Computer Science.
Thursday, August 24,1995
The Summer Ubyssey opinion
be gathered together in one place so we can see what
happened to the dry ground at Thunderbird Stadium
once those music festivals had had their way with it."
And so it was, though some SACees refused to be gathered and they resigned. Then The Ubyssey said, "Let the
ground bring forth fruit, trees, and vegetation of all kinds,
and we'll have a little salad." The Ubyssey called the salad
good. There was placement, and there was paste-up, and
it was the third issue.
On the fourth issue, The Ubyssey said, "The light's still
too formless and void in here, how about fixing the infrastructure around this office?" Cherubim and seraphim descended from Plant Ops and attended to the electrical wiring. The red light was set to rule the darkroom,
and the bright white light was trapped beneath a table
and made to rule the flats from beneath. The Ubyssey called
these production accessories good but still had to go looking for a stapler. Nevertheless, there was placement, and
there was paste-up, and it was the fourth issue.
On the fifth issue, The Ubyssey said, "Let there be birds
in the air and fish in the sea ... on second thought, that's
too boring, why not put the fish in the air and the birds in
the sea?" While the fish and fowl caucuses met to debate
the issue, the Alma Mater Society banded together with
August 24,1995
volume 12 issue 7
In the beginning, The Ubyssey created the heavens and
the earth. The Ubyssey was formless and void, and its
inebrious spirits hovered over the face ofthe flushing waters.
On the first issue, The Ubyssey said, "Let there be light,"
and there was light, everywhere but the darkroom. The
Ubyssey called the bright light "day", and called the dark
"a perfect time to get around to editing, or maybe smoke
a joint, or both". The light remained formless and void,
but The Ubyssey called it good anyway. There was placement, and there was paste-up, and it was the very first
On the second issue, The Ubyssey said, "Let the scribes
record the passing of a motion to possibly separate the
Alma Mater Society from its former directors, who shall
be off in a corner weeping and gnashing their dentures
with toothpicks made from the best Corinthian silver."
And it came to be. The scrolls were sent to lawyers for
their approval, lest the sky collapse and all the Chicken
Litdes saddle everyone involved with a lawsuit for beaning
them one. With that taken care of, The Ubyssey called the
scrolls good. There was placement, and there was pasteup, and it was the second issue.
On the third issue, The Ubyssey said, "Let the students
, summerl
The Ubyssey is a founding member of Canadian University Press.
Tr* Ubyssey is pubfisf^Thiirsdavsdut^
expressed are those cltfwrtewspaper and mrt
Editorial Office: Room 241K, Student Union Building, 6138 SUB Blvd., UBC V6T1Z1   tel: (604) 622-2301   fax: (604} 822-9279
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Canada PostPuNfeations Sales Agreement Number 0732141
A ben! of cherubs floated in toe meandering sky Martha Niessen laughed* an effervescent laugh. Riling a landscape of myths were many
c*eatoresii>dud% Kramer, and Andy BonfiefcL a small trio of muses from which to gamer
iwpmkm. The ininotaar form of Sam Arnold appeared from tbe bottom of me Mountain. H« gathered with Stanley Tromp, Pat MacGuire
imd Pat Hutchaison to pfct their ascension to the wotMoflateraltroughs.Thejrjo«rney was to be transitional Aiding them in their venture
were Charlie Cho and Rick Hiebert, the true Daedelus and Icarus. Usey were earned by the winds ofthe oceans, over waves of Rodney
Snooks, high into the celestial realm c^ Diana Stein, until mey reached tbe begtenmgc^
Snseh Nievarea twinkled in amusement as the Trio met withjames Rowan, Siobhan Roantree, and Bureau Boy aU known to the pa^
Deities. What they sought were answers to a spiritual quest which all students must embark on. The Deities refused to answer the questions as
everyone must find their own answers at the tree of Andy Ferris. The quest was begun at the bridge of Ron Eichler where they caught a taxi
down the Milky Way. Voyaging down the galaxy, theyencxronteredAarcmOriandomtoeformofash^
hustied unto the surface of Matt Thompson, a most volatile planet They were threatened by the guardians, Joe Vales and Janet Winters.
Carrying nothing but spears dipped in the poison of Deserie Harrison, the guardians of Matt chased the. Trio to the edge Jessica Wooliams, a
most dangerous cliff to fall from. Running between the legs of their tormentors, they were swept into the gende embrace ofjenn Kuo. She and
her partner in mercy, Erin Hodge, flew the Trio to the planet Federico Barohona. There they were welcomed like brothers and drank from the
nectar of Jim Rowley. The planet filled them with delights much like the previous planet had filled them with fear. It was here where they
learned toe joys ofthe flesh, toe tranquility of Wolf Depner, and the patience ofjohn Bolton. As they were swinging from the vines of morality,
toe nymph, Ben Koh, came running towards them filled with sumptuous news. There was to be a great announcement in the court of Paula
Bach. After having known each other for but a scant period of tone, citizens Peter T. Chattaway and Alison Cole were ready to commit
themselves to the sanctions bonds of institutional love. Silence rocked the court until the jester, Andy Barham, decided he had to worship the
porcelain god. "But what about getting to really know each other?" queried Trent Ernst "Tune is short," murmured the sage Darin Clisby,"
there is too much to be done." Rick Hunter pondered toe dilemma and wonedred at the degree of respect that his peers would giive to the
enraptured couple. The ceremony was to be perfomed toe next day. Priestess Mauran Km was to offi^
Rogers carried the Trio back to their own land. Educators Tony Zuiu^andJtaCtonley greeted urem upon toek
questions to mem about their journey, the educators challenged their knowledge to the bone. Chris Norman led the trio away so they could
rest aftertfaeir quest CJnistine Price and Scott Hayward wentfora walk along the seawaH knowing that they, at least, were not in a conflict of
interest Thus toe quest had ended but many more were to begin.
Coordinating Editor: Siobhan Roantree News Editor: Matt Thompson
Culture Editor: Peter T. Chattaway  Sports Editor: Scott Hayward
student unions across the nation to officially join a national student organization that would issue a statement
on the matter. The Ubyssey looked out its window for the
umpteenth time and, seeing a monstrous Fish blocking
its view, wished it could liquidate this asset. This sounded
good to The Ubyssey. There was placement, and there was
paste-up, and it was the fifth issue.
On the sixth issue, The Ubyssey said, "Let there be beasts
of the field and little bitty critters living in the forest."
Meanwhile, a Ministry chopped some pretty trees down
(to keep the cars safe) and ihe University made plans for
a forest sciences building (by replacing a parking lot) -
go figure. Then The Ubyssey said, "Let us make students in
our image. Let them be male and female, straight and
queer, artsies and scientists, grads and undergrads, residents and commuters, maybe even reporters and AMS
hacks... and let them all bow down to us." And so it came
to pass. The Ubyssey called its many minions good and
had a nervous breakdown from the mounting production stress. There was placement, and there was pasteup, and it was the sixth issue.
Afer the seventh issue, The Ubyssey rested (but only for
a week).
GSS moved
too fast?
The following is an open letter to
Graduate Student Society
President Heidi Petersen:
I understand that at the meeting held on August 17,1995 GSS
Council decided to apply for prospective membership in the Canadian Federation of Students, a
decision which commits the GSS
to holding a referendum on CFS
membership within a year. I am
writing to protest and to express
my dismay at the manner in
which the decision was reached.
The official meeting agenda
that was mailed out to councilors
made no mention of even any
discussion on the above matter.
Two days before the meeting
there was indeed an e-mail message sent to councilors by the
GSS Director of Student Affairs
informing them that Mr. Levine,
ofthe Concordia GSA and longtime CFS activist, was in town
and would be making a presentation on CFS membership at the
meeting. It also stated that there
was a copy of the CFS Policy
Manual available in the office for
councilors to peruse, and that
councilors should bring their
questions and concerns. Again,
however, there was no notice of
motion or any mention that a
decision on the matter might be
requested at the meeting.
Given the time-frame and the
accessibility oftheCFS documentation, it was unreasonable to
expect councilors to be able to
gain the requisite knowledge
about the organization to make
an informed decision on the
matter brought before them. I
can certainly understand the last-
minute agenda change to accommodate Mr. Levine. However,
there was neither an inherent
urgency for the GSS to reach a
decision on the matter nor any
urgency for the Director of Student Affairs to push for a decision at a time so far from executive elections and executive
turnover. Consequently, I am
both very surprised and disturbed that this rather substantive motion was brought forward
in such haste, with no notice or
documentation, and decided
upon at the tail-end of a summer
Very truly yours,
Vighen Pacradouni
AMS Rep & GSS Councilor
GSS President 94-95
write us
and we'll be
LETTERS POLICY: Letters to the editor must be under 300 words. "Perspectives" are opinion pieces over 300 words but under 750 words and are run according to space.
"Freestyles" are opinion pieces written by Ubyssey staff members. Priority will be given to letters and perspectives over freestyles unless the latter is time sensitive. Opinion
pieces will not be run unless the identity ofthe writer has been verified. Please include your phone number, student number and signature (not for publication) as well as your
year and faculty with all submissions. ID will be checked when submissions are dropped off at the office of The Ubyssey, otherwise verification will be done by phone.
10 The Summer Ubyssey Thursday, August 24,1995 feature
Frequently misdiagnosed disease leaves sufferers isolated
by Erin Hodge
Interstitial cystitis
(abbreviated as IC) is not
a fatal disease, but it is
incurable, debilitating, and
devastating. IC is a chronic
inflammation and ulceration of
the bladder wall that affects
primarily women. The
deterioration of the bladder
causes mild to severe chronic
pain. The cause of IC is
unknown. Although its
symptoms are similar to those of
a bladder infection, it is not
treatable by antibiotics because it
is not caused by bacteria.
I developed IC when I was 21,
last summer. At the time, I felt like
I had reached a place in my life
where I finally wanted to stay. I
had a group of friends with whom
I felt comfortable, I had just met
my first serious boyfriend, and
was feeling optimistic about
doing a master's degree after my
Last June I started to
experience pain and pressure
around my bladder. I tried to
ignore the problem. One day I
went for a jog to try to make
myself feel better. Shortly into my
route I felt my bladder contract
and I realized I was about wto
leak urine. I was mortified. A 21-
year old with a leakage problem?
I felt extremely isolated and
I went to the doctor's office
repeatedly, desperate for relief
from the awful feeling that my
bladder was never empty. Over
the next nine weeks I was given
antibiotics, tested for kidney
stones and diabetes, and advised
to drink plenty of water and
cranberry juice, and to do pelvic
floor muscle exercises. Nothing
worked. One doctor actually
argued with me over whether I
was      really      experiencing
incontinence, and told me my
symptoms would eventually go
away if I kept a positive attitude.
September approached and I
knew in my heart, having been
sick for ten weeks by this time,
that my condition was probably
permanent, even though my
family  and friends  and the
doctors kept reassuring me that I
looked fine, that I was so young I
couldn't really be facing anything
Eventually I was referred to
another urologist. I also saw
another doctor at UBC who I had
seen since I was nineteen, hoping
I could find some reassurance
from him. He looked
unimpressed by my story and
told me I was "manufacturing"
my symptoms. He attributed my
difficulties to my "anxiety at
having a boyfriend".
I was crushed. He had
confirmed my worst fear - that
there really was nothing wrong
with me and the discomfort
driving me crazy day and night
was all in my head. I hated myself
for being such an hysterical,
weepy, immature girl. But at the
same time, I noted his
disinterested, patronizing tone
and recognized he was dismissing
me out of hand as a typical,
"hysterical" female. I cancelled
my next appointment with him
and never went back.
Finally,in October, with the
help of friends, I learned of a
disease called interstitial cystitis.
My symptoms matched textbook
descriptions of IC. I was happy
to know my "hysterical problem"
might be a genuine disease, but
also terrified because I learned
how serious IC can be. Some
people have such severe pain
they can only sleep ten to sixty
minutes at a time for a year or
longer. Their bladders may only
hold 15mL, and they are forced
to urinate once every ten minutes.
They are bedridden and endure
a living death. I did not want to
believe this was true, but my
mum met someone who had IC
this severely (she was 22 as well)
and I realized this was no joke.
Two weeks later I had a
cystoscopy, a procedure where
they insert a scope with a camera
into your bladder to diagnose
various ailments. When I woke
up from the anaesthetic I could
hardly think straight I was so
scared of what the urologist
would tell me. He stood five feet
away from my bed, and, without
Erin Hodge: her physicians insisted she was exaggerating and imagining her pain Jenn Kuo photo
your pain. He told me I was being
too drastic and then he left. He
was so nonchalant about the
diagnosis I thought I was
overreacting, but then a nurse
told me finding out you have IC
is like finding out you have
cancer, and, ironically, I calmed
What does IC feel
like? I have a mild
case of IC; I can
still attend school, sleep and
work. For the past fourteen
Interstitial Cystitis: symptoms
and stats
* The incidence of IC is estimated at 1 in 1,400.
* IC causes chronic stomach, back, pelvic and genital
pain, painful urination, frequent urination (up to 60
times a day), and sleep deprivation.
* Between 85% and 90% of diagnosed cases of IC occur
in women.
* Foods and drink which are acidic, sugary, spicy, or
which contain alcohol or caffeine frequently
exacerbate IC symptoms.
•Treatments for IC do exist, although none are fully
effective at relieving the pain.
•Sexual intercourse often makes the pain worse. Some
people with IC cannot have sex at all.
* One study found that me average person with IC
has a lower quality of life than persons with end-stage
renal disease (kidney failure)
drawing the curtains round for
privacy in a room with about six
other people all waiting to be
discharged, he said, "Well, it looks
like it's IC." In my shock, I told
him I would rather have AIDS
than IC, thinking that at least with
AIDS you knew death could end
months, however, I have spent
only ten minutes feeling like I do
not need to go the bathroom.
Even immediately after I urinate
I still feel like my bladder is full.
This frustration is agonizing. On
bad days I feel like there is an
anvil in my bladder, or like a
great hand is clenching my
bladder and trying to wrench it
out of my body. Sometimes all I
can muster up the energy to do is
lie on my side and breathe.
Physical movement, such as
walking, lifting, climbing stairs
and riding the bus is often very
uncomfortable. I can still do these
things, but it takes a lot of resolve.
I can no longer go running or
swimming, two things I love, but
I still have good days when I am
up to hiking or dancing.
When you have IC your
bladder becomes the centre of
your consciousness because it
hurts constantly. Each and every
minute of every day some or all
of your concentration is devoted
to trying to ignore and guarding
your movements against the pain.
On bad days, the pain makes my
mind and my perceptions hazy. I
feel like a zombie. Several times
I have had conversations with
people without actually being
aware of what we are discussing
because the ache in my stomach
is too strong to block out.
Historically, IC has
been ignored and
denied by urology.
This may partly be explained by
the preponderance of women
among sufferers, and the fact the
disease affects the bladder, a
traditionally "taboo" part of the
body. Although the disease has
been documented since the late
1800s, it was only in the mid
1980s that the American National
Institute of Health authorized
funding for research into the
disease, and acknowledged its
devastating effects.
Around the same time, doctors
finally established standard
diagnostic criteria for IC.
Previous to the 1980s, doctors,
including urologists, if they had
heard of the disease at all,
believed IC was a rare disease
affecting only post-menopausal
women, and that younger women
with unexplainable bladder
symptoms were making up their
pain, that their problems were
"all in their heads." Even today,
many sufferers bounce from
doctor to doctor over a period of
years before someone takes them
seriously and diagnoses them.
The president of the B.C.I.C.
Association spent 12 years being
handed between psychiatrists
before an enlightened doctor
finally diagnosed her. She was
told she was making up her pain
in response to her unwillingness
to adjust to her role as a wife and
I thought that once I had an
authoritative-sounding, medical
name for my symptoms doctors
would take me seriously. This has
not necessarily been the case. The
doctor I saw over Christmas at
home wrote to my doctors in
Vancouver and suggested I was
"exaggerating my symptoms."
He said he had heard of
interstitial cystitis but I suppose
he did not believe me when I told
him I experienced pressure-pain
24 hours a day. I doubt he would
have sueerested to the cardiolosrist
of a 45 year old male suffering
angina or an ulcer that his patient
was exaggerating his pain. Why
did he find it so hard to believe
that I was in pain all the time? I
have little cuts all over my
bladder which are doused in acid
(urine) all day. Of course it hurts;
it's like lemon juice on a cold sore.
All these trials have convinced
me IC needs to have some
legitimacy as a "real" disease.
Maybe then people will believe
it is truly a struggle to live with
IC, and that it actually is possible
to be in pain 24 hours a day, even
if you are only in your twenties
and you look fine on the outside.
Thursday, August 24,1995
The Summer Ubyssey
11 by Pat Hutchinson
This just in...
UBC is a strange place
this university is a really
strange place.
month later, they're married.
Well, all I want to say is, it
must have been one hell of a
book. I really can't remember the
last time one of my profs wrote a
book so, so...visionary that I felt
it necessary to withdraw from
their course to prevent a conflict
of interest. Of course, most of my
profs wouldn't have minded a
total sycophant, but better safe
than sorry. No really, in most of
my courses, it was always lack of
interest not conflict of interest that
worried me.
actors who hadn't worked outside bad TV-movies since the
early 80s in the lead roles. "Special appearance by Marlon
Brando as 'Diamond Dave'
Should the McEwen Report
have taken into consideration
that, apparently, the mere mention of political economy can
turn formerly hard-nosed reporters into pools of romantic mush?
Will copies of Beyond Sovereignty
(which I'm sure is a really fine
book) be de rigueur for those attempting to adopt the "Sensitive
Guy" look? Will it be the hottest
seller of the Fall book season -
in the self-help category? I wonder if the book is just a book, or
whether it has been assigned to
any classes-if it did such incredible things to a hardened journalist, imagine the havoc if a first
year class hormones are exposed
to it.
to read the whole report (at least
in week one ofthe story). In truth,
most journalists would have had
to say "such a visionary foreword, conclusion and bookjacket
The aforementioned McEwen
Report has completely snowballed this summer. Yes, it was a
big story, but when people start
putting us on TV, there's a perspective problem. Three Ubyssey
editors had their fleeting moment
of fame when the TV cameras,
looking desperately for students
that weren't heading to the
beach, set upon them sitting on
the curb, reading the just released
McEwen report. If the implication was that our editors are typical of the general UBC student
body, then the media obviously
have a more skewed picture of
this campus than anyone
Certainly, this campus is a little weird. Witness the whole Silver Maple debacle. First we are
assured that the Silver Maples are
a danger to buses, pedestrians,
bikers, heck, to the entire security of the free world. Next thing
you know, people are starting to
say that if anyone had bothered
to prune the trees, we wouldn't
be having this problem. Finally,
after cutting had already begun,
the Ministry of Transportation
decided that no more trees would
be cut until after a panel has considered the scientific merits
of the case. Personally,
I     trace     the
porter a
ongoing story was about to
marry a Poli Sci prof. Then
someone pointed out that he
wasn't just a prof, he was the department head.
The fax is hilarious, if you're
at all cynical about romance. I'm
sure it's not the first time that
someone has fallen in love at first
sight, but it is the first time that
they've sent us a press release
about it. From first meeting to
marriage in a few weeks . After
reading Elkin's book, Beyond Sovereignty, Parton was so overwhelmed by his "visionary" perspective that she withdrew herself from the story due to a potential conflict of interest.
Elkins called her, unaware
that she was no longer on the
story. She informed him that the
story was reassigned and subse-
quendy arranged a non-business
walk along the seawall. Not a
in to it
and that careers are being
made and destroyed overnight. But "sexy" fields of research normally aren't really
"sexy." And besides, I really
don't recall Political Science ever
being described in quite that way
either (though things did get
pretty interesting when the Wall
fell and the USSR collapsed).
Not to pry in anyone's personal life, but you just have to
appreciate the irony of a reporter
covering a sexual harassment
story falling for the head of the
department in question. If someone were to dramatize that, no
one would buy it. Well, they'd
buy it-after several weeks make
a TV-movie out of it and cast two
of journalists,
I'm really amazed
by this whole incident.
Mainly that someone actually
took the time to read the book.
Kudos to Parton (or Elkins now,
I guess). As a group, journalists
are not especially noted for actually reading too many things-we
all get such mountains of information, we do tend to skim a lot
of it. It seemed quite obvious that
most of the journalists covering
the McEwen Report, far from
doing background on the new
department head, didn't bother
change of opinion to Josh Bender's     letter—how
could anyone not see
the error of their ways
after   that   missive?
We're reasonably sure
Josh's letter was sarcasm—
reasonably sure.
It's hard not to have hope
this campus though.
Orientations has been bringing
their keener frosh through the
office as part of the overall campus tour, and it's been great to
see smiling fresh faces. I hope
that our cynical, jaded stares
(they always seemed to arrive
right in the middle of a killer
meeting or after an all-nighter or
two of production) haven't frightened them all away. With this
much weirdness going on, we
need all the writers we can get.
In no way do we mean to imply that Dr.
David Elkins and Ms. Nicole Parton are
anything other than sincere, loving individuals who care deeply for each other. We
just think the whole thing is really funny.


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