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The Ubyssey Feb 12, 2002

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Tuition meltdown
Government ends six-year tuition freeze, gives universities autonomy over fee increases
by Sarah MacNeill Morrison
University education in BC will cost
■ more next year. Expectations were
confirmed yesterday afternoon,
when the provincial government
announced an end to BC's six-year
tuition fee freeze.
"We need to be concerned about
the long-term future and the issues
around access for students in this
province and that's what motivated
our decision," said BC Minister of
Advanced Education Shirley Bond.
The province's universities and
colleges will be granted full autonomy over tuition fees. Bond
announced yesterday.
While student groups were predicting the announcement, the
extent of deregulation is still "alarming," said Alma Mater Society (AMS)
President Erfan Kazemi.
"We firmly believe the government should play a regulatory role
in education," said Kazemi. "I'm disappointed and alarmed that there's
no regulation—it's a complete
deregulation, like Ontario. It's
proven not to be successful [there]
and I thought that the provincial
government should take the respon
sibility and have a regulatory role in
tuition. I know many individuals
did. Students all across BC feel
that way."
Kazemi said he felt the government should regulate tuition to
ensure that proper consultation is
carried out with students before
fees increase, to ensure that provincial standards are met, and that
tuition doesn't skyrocket to unreasonable levels—increasing by 200 to
300 per cent—at some institutions.
Summer McFadyen, BC chairperson of the Canadian Federation
of Students (CFS), said the government's announcement sends a clear
message to students that colleges
and universities are a place for the
wealthy.
"I think students are outraged,
and it's shocking what the government has done," she said. "There's
no other way to view the increase
but as a direct attack on people from
regular families," she said.
But Minister Bond said that the
provincial government would still
provide assistance through projects
such as the student loans program.
"It's a challenge for students, but
we believe that students should
invest in their post-secondary education," said Bond. "Our government already helps just about
70,000 students a year, and we're
going to continue to help those students in need."
The Confederation of University
Faculty Associations of BC (CUFA
BC) is calling on the provincial government to guarantee that no students will be prevented from attending a BC university because they are
unable to afford tuition. Robert Clift,
executive director of CUFA BC, also
criticised the government's decision to freeze education spending
and said he felt it was unfair to ask
students to cover the funding
short-fall.
But according to Don Avison,
president of BC's University
Presidents' Council, an end to the
tuition-fee freeze will benefit
students.
"It's certainly a positive
announcement from the perspective of the University Presidents'
Council," said Avison. "This is an
issue that the university presidents
have    been    talking    about    to
See "Tuition"page 2.
U-pass talks stall
 by Chris Shepherd
Negotiations for a universal bus
pass for UBC students have been
stalled once again.
Despite concluding discussions
on the U-Pass, the Alma Mater
Society (AMS), the university, and
Translink did not come to any decisions. They instead decided to go
back to gather more data.
Translink, the Lower Mainland
transit authority, offered UBC a pro-
. posal on January 2 4 this year after the
three parties resumed negotiations.
"Translink will conduct random
surveys of UBC students to collect
information on students' attitudes
on the U-pass," said Kristen Harvey,
the AMS's vice-president, external.
Translink's survey is expected
to take six weeks to conduct.
Harvey added that the university
and, the AMS would also gather
more information before the parties resume talks to set a new timeline for negotiations.
Earlier yesterday, Harvey said
that negotiations would continue as
she was not satisfied with the price
quoted by Translink. While she
would not comment on the specifics
of the proposal due to the confidentiality of negotiations, Harvey said
she would like to have a U-pass that
is   "affordable   and   flexible   for
today."
Harvey said she wanted to make
sure that groups like students who
five on campus, or in areas poorly
serviced by transit, will not be
penalised.
Harvey said she was unsure
whether the offers from Translink
will be satisfactory.
"To be honest I don't know what
to expect from Translink," she said.
But while Harvey remained optimistic that negotiations would turn
to UBC's favour, some signs show
otherwise.
At a meeting last Wednesday,
See "U-Pass" page 2.
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CHECK IT: Izzy Czervenikak rocked the house in the women's
volleyball quarterfinals last weekend. Page 5.  nic fensom photo
jar-' \- ***& -^-^ ,\v\^ - - % ^feJL,,
New centre for human security
by Ai Lin Choo
SECURITY! Andrew Mack at the new centre, nic fensom photo
UBC will spearhead research in the
impacts of direct violence on
human security through the production of an annual Human Security
Report at UBC's new Centre for
Human Security.
The first to open in Canada and a
part of the Liu Centre for Global
Studies, the centre will focus on the
interrelationships between human
security, development and
governance.
While the centre is still in its
fundraising stage, the first annual
report on international human
security issues is expected to be
published  in  2003.  The  report,
which will be modelled on the
United Nation's high profile Human
Development Report, will look at the
incidents and severity, as well as the
causes and consequences, of violence.
"One of the purposes of this
report is to try and get the ideas or
the data, the findings and the prescriptions that are out there ih the
academic community, and to get
those translated in such a way that it
makes sense to the policy community," said Andrew Mack, director of
See "Security" page 2.
Mood D®^©§
TOnraiefismo
f^dba^@uby$spy.bc.ca
www.ubyssey.bc.ca TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2002
NEWS
THE UBYSSEY
ClASSIFIEDS
elements: MAY 31/02. RSVP @ ele-
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TIVE: an innovative project to build self-
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VOLUNTEERS: Hip-hop DJs, break-
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SPARTACUS YOUTH CLUB CLASS:
For Class Struggle Against the Cuts - No
Illusions in the Pro-Capitalist NDP! Students: Ally with Labor! Wed Feb 13,
6p.m. UBC SUB Rm 213 Info: call 604-
687-0353 or email: tllt@look.ca
MULTICULTURAL FAIR: Feb 15,
1 l-2pm, SUB Concourse. Performances
& presentations by various clubs & associations. Food, dances and music.
VEGETARIAN CLUB: Healthy Nutritions Healthy Lunch. Tues. 12:30-2:30
<* International House, 1783 West Mali.
Different ethnic vegetarian cuisine week-
■>'-
WANT TO SEE A COOL BAND FEB
16? Go to "The Brick Yard" @ 315 Car-
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come earlv.
SHEILA & MURIEL invite you to visit
44 & Alma Barbers 3660 W. 4ih Ave.
604-738-8766. Student rates.
UNIVERSITY DRYCLEANERS. Alternations, Laundiy, Dry-cleaning & Dressmaking available at 105-5728 University
Blvd. (UBC Village) ph 228-9414. Discount coupons accepted. Some handcrafts & gift items also available for sale.
PUERTO VALLARTA, MEXICO.
Choice of two Premium *** Hotels. Stay
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SUMMER CAMP COUNSELORS ON
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energetic, and fun loving students as
counselors in all team sports including
Roller Hockey and Lacrosse, al! individual sports such as Tennis & Golf, Waterfront and Pool activities, and specialty
activities including art, dance, theatre,
gymnastics, newspaper, rocketry & radio.
GREAT SALARIES, room, board, rravel
and US summer work visa. June 19th-
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promises to be unforgettable. For more
information and to apply: MAH-KEE-
NAC www.campmkn.com (Boys): 1-
800-753-9118. DANBEE
www.danbee.com (Gills): 1-800-392-
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Wednesday, March 6ch - 10am to 4pm
in the Student Union Building (SUB) -
Rooms 214 & 216
"TRAVEL & TEACH IN KOREA!"
www.recruitmentkorea.com or call 604-
723-3884
VOLUNTEERS NEEDED to work
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Please'call Cynthia at 827-0014.
WANT TO VOLUNTEER? MANY
DIFFERENT OPPORTUNITIES IN
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trek.leaders@ubc.ca
INTERESTED IN GAINING PUBLIC
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Student groups worried over deregulation
"Tuition" from page 1.
government for a number of years
now, and what I am encouraged by
is the recognition of the autonomy
of the boards of governors at each of
the universities to address the issue
of tuition.*
Avision said he felt tuition levels
were best decided at the university
level, where the issue could be discussed by boards, students, senates
and faculties.
"It's a matter now to be decided
and proposal to be developed locally, and I think that's the right place
to do it," said UBC's vice-president,
students, Brian Sullivan.
"The announcement was, from
the university's point of view, a welcome vote of confidence in the ability of institutions to work with their
communities to come up with an
approach to setting tuition that's fair
and will help assure the quality we
all need," he added.
There had been rumours that
Bond would make a decision on the
tuition freeze last week, but the official announcement wassnot expected until February 19, when the
provincial government releases its
budget
According to Sullivan, the early
announcement may allow the consultation process to begin sooner,
but UBC will not decide on next
year's tuition fees until the Board of
Governors (BoG) meeting in March.
Although draft proposals have
projected that UVic's tuition will rise
by 100 per cent over the next three
years, Sullivan said UBC undergraduates' tuition is only targeted to
increase to the national average—
$3580—over the next three years.
Tuition for full-time undergraduate
students taking a 30 credit course
load is currently $2,181.
Sullivan said said he would be
meeting with the Graduate Student
Society soon, but that it was still too
early to make decisions on graduate
student fees.
He also said that as the university looks at possible tuition rates,
UBC will consider implementing differential tuition, a proposal that
would see students in different programs paying different tuition rates,
depending on cost
"I think it's quite likely, at the
end of three years, there will be
some differences in tuition levels
between programs," he said.
The Liberal legislation to restore
institutions' autonomy over tuition
fee decisions will be introduced in
the upcoming legislative session. ♦
Translink to conduct student survey
"U-Pass" from page 1.
AMS councillors discussed the issue
in camera for over 45 minutes.
According to files obtained by the
Ubyssey, councillors felt that the
proposed amount of about $2 6 was
too high.
But Harvey said that she
believes Translink may come up
with a favourable proposal.
"We have reason to believe that
they can decrease their price from
the original proposal," she said
early yesterday.
For a universal bus pass to be
implemented at UBC, the proposal
will have to be passed though council and a student referendum.
Meanwhile, student opinion surrounding the issue appears mixed.
"I think it's a great idea," said
Monty Silley, a first-year arts student/It would be easier for
everyone."
Brent Warman, a second-year
arts student said that he would only
support the pass if it had an opt-out
option.
"I don't like the mandatory part.
I don't use the bus that often, so
what would be the point of me buying a mandatory bus pass?" he said.
"I think a bus pass for students
would be good though, something
that would be less expensive and
helps students get to school and
that promotes people to use the
bus."
But Melodie Foellmi, a second-
year arts student, had a slightly different perspective.
"If everyone one had to pay that
wouldn't be fair to the students
who don't use the bus," she said.
"On the other hand it might encourage people to use the bus and
that's a good thing because too
many people use cars."
UBC's Director of
Transportation Planning, Gordon
Lovegrove, said he would hot be
able to discuss negotiations until
after they were concluded.
The AMS and UBC have been
negotiating with Translink for an
affordable mandatory bus pass for
students for several years.
Negotiations have stalled over
funding debates between the three
parties and came to a halt last year
with Translink's financial crisis.
Translink is also negotiating a
universal bus pass deal with SFU.
"The U-pass program in general
is an attempt to give students
access at a discount rate to transit
services and broaden the use of the
transit system and make it more
accessible for students at campuses," says Ray Straatsma, communications and policy director with
Better Environmentally Sound
Transportation, a sustainable transportation advocacy group. ♦
Wei ilGliiriis the first in Canada
No Internet access? Fckupai^ofte~SOTeyweek33ysinllieSUBroM20Bbeta
- JREK pFFICE at 2210 Wesl Mat between 8:30 am and 4:30 pm OR Have a Sun/ey fan feed to you by calhg 827-TREK.
"Security" from page I   ;f:Y:flU: ■
' the new centre, adding raatYtaost;;
policy makers usually do 'nfethave
enough tuns to read thrQu|jS:;aO»-4
deraie articles or books, liii-
^ "We are eseniially dt?«i|f tfie"
'parts of human, security;that; are
not 'dealt 'with 'in§Ylother
publications." ft      Y|
,'. Mack said that whil4iffis;the;|
-broadest seise, human Sfl|§ifj§i
issues coyer all "harm t<l;Iffi|||il:
beings,* the main fbeu|l|||fi§||
-research at UBC will ||iffi|li||
• direct- violence - in de#|pjp|^<
countries'. He added thcHirti*
. 1990s, one to 1.2 millio|f|S*|WY
were Mlled' every year iaSM*-;.;
ital violence and armed dinflistil
- "That is a huge nmkirjiSfti&Irt
one compares it to the 40QQ tfejtt?
were killed on Septem|||iYt;|/Y.
-saidMack. 7 '- ' |YpfY7;
-"The defense of %0^%§[
which is what national setJteIty3s?:;
about as a means to tn4Yln4;;oiY
the protection of individuals was-;
n't an 'end in itself, aiMlfasYweY
know, far more peopfetlSYSJieY
20th century have been tltte!.ByY
their own governmentlYtHeisis
selves, rather than byYforei|n i
knmei. The protectionYoff jciti^f
zens-is not the same as^Ij^fc&f
, tection of states."
; Mack sa0 that liiudaah security
issues^ are especially central to the
Liu; Cehtre:; fOfY Global  Studies
Because: of its director, former
;: Canadian; &tep^Yjmi#ter Lloyd
YAxvvOrlhy. ttl jbriner minister pio-
^geered Sw coiK^pt of humanseCu-
5 rity;;in mm^'i^ hS c;ampaigiis—
Yihdliding h|s injwiiyement iiiiahd-
: n$nis aridYin;|$s>es;;surro<ind!iiig
Yfirflldren in arm^d conflict«
I7|^i*^^#?^il|. fre^omiiM^r :
l^^^0^cW^2^K:&i. Maqk,;
|:^i|fWsi:^lplet^l; Mbsi;:of':ta#Y
I '^p§MSa ;ppii-eS; OgRn|ri#7
^^:!lfe'^8^icu}'arly in places like
;|iC|lqftpIp*$ierraY;LeOiiiY and :
gAlfafa* where! the*:dMdiiigJline ;
|^|»^^€H^jr|alo,'yiQieiiw:;'a»d::'
fgcM^^viM&iifys becomes A-yeJy-
f||||pcult; liite ;1#dr6wY: For; f xarrtY
|'||f inColojnhiaYa lot of the polit
2p|i|^lehc|r;therefis also associ-
2;§00ffn^2:^i&2 drug trade.; Now
f|||o^ilwe;''call that political vio- '
lliliiji'Of ;<c?iMmai violence?";
lYIaSlfiad^ohY^irector of the uni-;
|f^!!^^':77 "Institute; ■'■■'■:..- of_
li^|iiatiOila|::Kelatio33s^ said; the
YpHre.H^ittid»;be ■beneficial: to
|||§i; af ;'it #oi4d; sesrve- as: a focal.
|pjinfi&>r; ;tajehted; stodents arid;
YfaCtilty ;Y from;;; various   ■ UBC ;;
departments.
job added that Mack, who has
been at UBC since January, is the
ideal person Y to facilitate
research in human security due
to Jis; background. Mack is a
"highly talented and; engaged
person/said Job.
;Mack  came   from   Harvard
University's       program       on
IJunSanitarian YPolicy.  Prior to
; that/fie worked as UN Secretary-
General Kofi ; AnnaS's Ystrategic
plannihg  director. Y MacK; also
held; the chair in International
YRelations    at   the   Australian
YNatiOnal University1988.
:WS^e funding for tne production of the report has not been
secured yet, Mack Said that he
was "cautiously optimistic" that
the government or other foundations would fund the project
-What I would: really like to do
is to get this massive report up
and running, so that in three
years time; I can say we have
something; working really well,
andjl can then:hand it off to
someone else and go off and do
some research on something
completely different/ he said
adding that although he would
wanjf to continue to be involved
in the centre, he would only want
to play a consulting role. ♦ THEUBYSSEY
NEWS
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2002     3
Treaty referendum nears?
16 proposed questions to call for British Columbians' opinions on treaties with First Nations peoples
 by Gary Magee
After holding open consultation meetings in 15
communities across BC, a provincial legislative
committee has proposed 16 questions for an
upcoming referendum on provincial treaties
with First Nations groups. But even though the
referendum is certain to be an emotional and
political flashpoint, some say the final results of
the province-wide vote will ultimately be irrelevant
Following its two-month consultation
process with both Aboriginal and non-
Aboriginal British Columbians, the province's
Select Standing Committee on Aboriginal
Affairs has formulated 16 yes-or-no questions to
ask British Columbians for their opinions on
issues of ■"openness," "private properly interests," "Aboriginal governance," and "settlement" in treaties with First Nations peoples.
The committee has recommended that the referendum, which the premier promised would
be held this year, be conducted by mail-in ballot
The government is expected to vote on the
questions this week, and conduct the referendum before the summer.
Critics charge, however, that the questions
drafted are designed solely to give the province
greater leverage at the negotiating table.
"The questions are obviously designed to
elicit ayes response," said Stewart Phillip, chief
of the Pentiction Indian Band and president of
the Union of British Columbia Indian Chiefs.
"The idea is that when they return back to
the negotiating table and negotiations resume,
the Aboriginal side of the table is going to be
putting forward the same level of demands as
before, and the provincial government is going
to say, 'Well, I understand what you're saying,
but for goodness sake, the referendum results
are clear and your expectations are far too
high' The purpose of the referendum is to further ratchet down our interests," said Chief
Phillip.
The Liberal government, however, is
pleased with the work of the Select Standing
Committee on Aboriginal Affairs, and intends
to proceed as planned with the referendum.
"I applaud all the committee members for
the hard work, time and effort they have devoted to this important and complex issue,"
Attorney-General Geoff Plant said in a recent
press release. "The committee has consulted
widely with British Columbians all across the
province and has done an excellent job on
behalf of the Legislature of attempting to syn-
thesise a set of principles for treaty negotiations
that can be put before the House."
The committee was created to follow
through on Premier Gordon Campbell's election-campaign promise to 'give all British
Columbians a say on the principles that should
guide BC's approach to treaty negotiations
through a one-time, province-wide referendum,
while ensuring that constitutionally protected
Aboriginal rights and titles are respected."
The BC treaty process has been the source-of
some controversy. Ten years ago, amid increasing Aboriginal title litigation and protests in
Aboriginal communities across Canada—most
notably at Oka, Quebec—the BC Treaty
Commission was formed as an independent
body to facilitate negotiations between First
Nations peoples, British Columbia and Canada.
A majority of First Nations bands in the
See "Treaty" on page 4.
Proposed referendum questions
'lhe provincial sovciiiincnt has propose.! trie
following questions to :ippc.Mr Ln a provlm-n-
wiile rrfejcnilum on treaties between the
provir.ee and Fiist Katjons peoples. The
responses would be ur-cd to direi t government
action.
Do \ou support the foJowing provincial
principles for negotiation:
Openness
1. Treaties should be negotiated in as transparent a mannor as possible. Yes or no.
2. Treaty negotiation should be responsive
to the input of load community and cciaumir
LnU-rcjsus. Yes or no.
3. Lucid government participation in the
treaty process is guiiranteed. Yes or no.
Property and Interest Issues
1. Private property is not negotiable, unless
there is a willing seller and a willing buyer. Yes
or no.
5. Continued access lo hunting, fishing and
rerrunlional opportunities will be guaranteed
for Eiil British Columbians. Yes or no.
6. The province will maintain parks :uid
protected areas for the use and benefit of all
British Columbians. Yes or no.
7. Ail terms and conditions of provincial
leases and licences will be honoured. Yus or
no.
S. Fair compensation for unavoidable dis
ruption  of I'omnn rri.-il  interests  will  bo
assured. Yes or no.
Aboriginal Governance
9. Tlie province (vill negotiate Aboriginal
government with the characteristics and legal
status of local gu\errcnc::t Yes or no.
10. Treaties must strive to achieve administrative s-iinplicity and jurisdictional (.'arity
amongst various levels of government Yes or
no.
11. Province-wide standards of resource .,
management ;jid environmental protection
wiil continue id apply. Yes or no.
12. Treaties should provide inediuiiMns
for harmonisation of hmd-use planning
between Aboriginal governments and local
governments. Yes or no.
Settlement
13. Affordabihty should be a key Tat tor in ._
determining the amount of land provided in -
treaty settlements. Yes or no.
14. Treaties masL ensure sorvd and eco- .
nomic viability for all British Columbians. Yes
or no.
15. The existing tax exemptions for
Aboriginal people will be phased out Yes or
no.
16. Treaty benefits, including ca.-h and land,
should be distributed and sLructij-ed to create
economic opportunities for ail, including ihose
living on and off reserve Yes or no. ♦
CRAM! Elspeth Halverson (left) and Margot Kiigour (right) study in the new Main Library Learning Commons that opened this week. Where scaffolding seemed to randomly pop up earlier this year there is now much-needed study space for students and a multitude of expensive-looking computers boasting flat screens, nic fensom photo 4      TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2002
NEWS
THE UBYSSEY
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Men Call Free:
iir
The Grapevine does not prescreen callers and assumes no liability if you meet callers.
Callers must be 18+. Free local call within Vancouver calling area. Conditions ap
Ontario law school tuition could jump
by Paula Bialski
the Ontarion
GUELPH, ON (CUP)-Two of Canada's top law schools are
proposing substantial tuition fee hikes.
Law students at Queen's University and the
University of Toronto will be expected to pay over
$20,000 a year in tuition if plans are approved by the
schools' faculiy councils.
On February 1, the Queen's Faculty of Law held a
board meeting to address Dean Allison Harvison
Young's proposal to increase tuition. Harvison Young
said boosting fees is necessary to ensure that the Queen's
law school can continue to provide quality education.
"The increase has been necessitated by continuing
cutbacks in government support and the rising costs,"
she said. "Also, the recruitment of newer professors has
become more expensive. Another factor for us is the reality of facilities that are in desperate need of renovation,
and which are at present inaccessible."
Harvison Young said the changes will not apply until
the 2004-2005 school year.
But Joel Duff, the Ontario chair of the Canadian
Federation of Students, said the law faculties shouldn't
be burdening students with the escalating costs.
"The faculty boards are fundamentally flawed in the
position that they're taking," said Duff
"What they're really doing by hiking up the tuition
is putting the student in substantial debt," he said.
"There are so many ways a lawyer can help society, but
when they're in the hole, they're only looking to help
themselves."
Rebecca Jaremko Bromwich, spokesperson for the
Society of Graduate and Professional Students (SGPS) at
Queen's, says she hopes for solidarity between faculty
members and students.
"We want the universities to do something great and
noble for the students," said Jaremko Bromwich. "I have
nothing against the dean of our law school. I think she's
doing a great job and I understand that the law school is
in dire need of money. But we need to act against the government, not the students."
Although current law students will be protected from
the hikes, many fear the change will result in fewer
minority, underprivileged and publicly supported candidates for law school.
University of Toronto Law Faculty Dean Ron Daniels
has said it is imperative for Canadian universities to pay
professors better, since many professors are lured
south by higher salaries in the United States. He
believes the tuition increase will help schools hold on to
these teachers.
Daniels said the rest of the money raised from fee
increases will be used to improve student aid by increasing the funding allocated for bursaries and after-graduation student-debt relief.
Minutes from the Queen's Faculty of Law board meeting have not yet been made public. ♦
"Treaty" from page 3.
province have participated in the
treaty process, but to date no
treaties have been completed
through the process. Chief Phillip-
believes a new direction is needed
to solve Aboriginal land-title and
self-determination issues.
"We're at a very critical point in
the history of this province because
we're faced with the situation
where ten years of protracted negotiations have failed miserably," he
said. "The frustrations in our comi
munities are at an all-time high,
and now we're faced with a government with an absolutely enormous
mandate, promising, basically, to
turn all Crown land into third-party
interests. There's going to be a collision of Aboriginal title interests
and the Liberal government's economic vision of the province."
John Les, the MLA for
Chilliwack-Sumas and chair of the
Select Standing Committee on
Aboriginal Affairs, is optimistic
about the treaty process, however,
and disagrees with Chief Phillip's
assessment of the referendum.
"Constructive and useful discussion will reinvigorate the treaty
negotiation process in this province.
Negotiating effective treaties with
First Nations is a commitment of
the government, and provincial
principles guiding negotiations will
be strengthened through public
input," he said in a press release.
"We have said clearly from the
very beginning and always that we
recognise the Aboriginal rights as
defined in the Constitution That is
the law. What we are working with
here is not the what, it is the how—
how to do this in a way that is effective, in a way that produces results
for all residents of British
Columbia," the statement reads.
Chief Phillip believes that the
provincial government will take a
firmer stance as a result of the referendum results, and that such a
stance will force bands out of the
treaty process and back into the
courts—a consequence which he
believes will ultimately benefit First
Nations groups,
"The position of the Union [of BC
Indian Chiefs] is that the referendum is irrelevant because the fact
of the matter is that we have rights
that are enshrined in the
Constitution and in innumerable
court decisions including at the
Supreme Court of Canada," he said.
"There is going to be a series of
incremental litigation that will continue building, and at some point
the government is going to be
forced to deal with this issue."
Aboriginal rights have repeatedly been affirmed in Canadian
Constitutional history, beginning
with the Royal Proclamation of
1763 and continuing through to the
1982 Charter of Rights and
Freedoms. These rights have been
confirmed by Canada's courts. In
the 1997 Delgamuuk'w vs. British
Columbia case, the Supreme Court
of Canada ruled that governments
can not unilaterally extinguish the
rights of Aboriginals, and that land
can only be expropriated for specific reasons after consultation with,
and compensation to, its original
First Nations inhabitants.
Issues surrounding the upcoming referendum will be debated
today at a public discussion panel
at 12:30pm in the Curtis Law
Building. The forum will feature
representatives from First Nations
organisations as well as Gayle
Sparrow, a provincial Liberal candidate and former Musqueam
leader. ♦
SPORTS
Quiet track meet a success
 by Scott Bardsiey
It was a cold, rainy day on Sunday.
Still, the weather was better than it
had been two weeks before when the
track and field team's only home
meet, the UBC Open, was postponed
due to snow.
The meet rescheduled for last
weekend, was a low-key affair. The
team's big guns had gone south to the
University of Washington Invitational
the day before, leaving a lot of
younger athletes at the Minora Park
meet Their competition on the track
was light, with only a handful of runners from SFU and UVic attending. A
soccer game raged on in the middle
of the track as the racers calmly battled the clock and each other, making
it look easy to run 1000m in under
three minutes.
Each Thunderbird was hoping to
qualify for the CIS National
Championship in Sherbrooke,
Quebec. David Milne and Byron
Wood, two of the men's team's best
runners, secured qualifying times for
the CIS Nationals on Saturday in
Seattle; Chris Williams made standards at the UBC Open on Sunday.
Williams came first out of ten runners in the 1000m with a time of
2:28.21.
Last year, 15 of UBC's track and
field athletes qualified for Nationals.
So far this season, nine have made
standards, and the Birds still have
two more meets that can be used to
qualify for Nationals. This year's
women's team is doing especially
well; three Birds have made standards—a big improvement from last
year, when only one qualified.
"We've got off to a good start
Everybody seems healthy," Heather
MacDonald said. MacDonald and
Karen Tulloch are the women's
biggest threat—ranked first and second nationally in the 3000m.
Marek Jedrzejek, the team's
coach, expects that UBC will send
about as many athletes to Nationals
as last year. "We'll be pretty close
around the same number this year,
but the quality is much higher
because they're the same guys who
have improved already quite a bit
since last year," he said. Jedrzejek
also hopes that a relay team will
qualify.
But while Jedrzejek expects UBC
to secure a top-ten ranking in
Canada, winning a national championship would be a tall order for the
track and field team. UBC has a
strong track team, but the field program is modest.
"We don't have much in the way
of a field program. We have a couple
of jumpers and one thrower," UBC
middle-distance runner Jared
Mawhorter said. "We have a really
good running program, but we lose a
lot of points in the field events so it's
really hard to compete."
The track and field team will compete at Trinity Western this weekend
and at the Canada West
Championship in Saskatoon from
February 22 to 23. ♦ THE UBYSSEY
SPORTS
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2002      5
Women's volleyball team sweeps first round of playoffs against Alberta
by Trevor Kew
The UBC women's volleyball team entered its first playoff
match-up last weekend full of confidence. The Birds have won
seven of their last ten matches and two of those were five-set
losses against top-ranked Manitoba.
The return of national team member Kaley Boyd after the winter holiday has given the Birds
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an extra spark both on and off
the court On Friday, Boyd led a
veteran line-up onto the floor to
face the University of Alberta
Pandas. The Thunderbirds
entered the best-of-three series
with a 4-0 record against the
Pandas this season.
The first match went relatively smoothly for the Birds, as
they quickly dismantled the weak Alberta defence. Strong play
from all the usual suspects, especially fifth-year Leah Allinger
and 6' powerhouse Izzy Czerveniak, allowed UBC to come away
with a 3-1 victoiy.
Saturday offered the Birds a chance to sweep the series and
avoid sudden death on Sunday. But the Pandas capitalised on
UBC's sloppy play and took the first set 2 5-22. Concern showed
on the faces of the players and the spectators.
In the second game UBC came together. Allinger, in her last
year of eligibility, was hitting the ball harder than ever to keep
her dream of CIS National gold alive. "It's huge [to win] this
year," Allinger emphasised. "I've been second, third, fourth and
fifth. In my mind, the last year I want it to be first"
UBC claimed the second set 25-22. But it was a struggle for
the Birds, who fell behind a number of times. "We didn't block
very well tonight and that didn't help our defence," fourth-year
veteran Czerveniak said.
As the fourth set began, the beer-garden hecklers were starting to really get behind UBC's efforts. With UBC in the lead 23-
20, Alberta's Susie Buckmaster got no mercy from the Birds or
the fans and lost serve. It was game, set, match at 2 5-20, when
Boyd reached over the net to reject an Alberta spike.
An often overlooked UBC player this year has been second-
year setter Amy Schroeder. Not only was her setting impressive
this weekend, she attacked strongly as well, with several kills of
her own. UBC coach Doug Reimer praised her improvement as
a key element of this year's success, "Amy in her second year
starting as a setter has helped the team along." Jasmin Yip, in
her first year at libero, also played well, earning player-of-the-
game honours Saturday.
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DIG! Isabelle 'Izzy' Czerveniak goes low during Saturday's game against the Alberta Pandas, nic fensom photo
The season's success has been a team effort, but Boyd's presence has been essential to the Birds' playoff success. "Tonight,
Alberta couldn't stop Kaley. They had no answer to her. That will
get tougher as the blocking improves, but her play is something
that will make us better all the time," Reimer said.
Next weekend, the Birds travel to Manitoba to face the first-
place Bisons in the CanWest semifinal. With four teams left in
the conference, UBC must finish in the top three to advance to
Nationals, meaning that they must win one of their next two
series, both away from home. ♦
\
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fRUS CONFESSION
Dear Diary,
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I hope that anyone interested in helping out will come too (even if they
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V
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2002
SPORTS
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2002      7
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Win a DOUBLE PASS to the
preview screening of:
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To enter, come to SUB
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swimm
UBC's swim teams have won the CIS National Championship for four years in a row. This year's CIS Championship
is at the UBC Aquatic Centre and the Thunderbirds are gunning for their fifth men's and women's titles.
In less than two weeks the CIS Swimming Championship
will head into UBC's Aquatic Centre, and the Thunderbirds'
swim teams are ready to make history. The men and
women's teams are both aiming for their fifth consecutive
national titles this year, a level of achievement never before
matched in Canadian university sport
'This is one of the strongest teams we've had. We have
got all of the events covered. I think there will be a lot of
records broken," says an excited co-captain of the women's
team, Angela Stanley.
Kevin Johns, the men's captain and a fourth-year student, is equally optimistic. "The team is going to swim
really well. We've put a lot of work into this. The team spirit has been great and we were pretty energised after
Canada West."
Calling the Birds a strong team is an understatement.
Last month's Canada West (CW) Championship proved the
T-Birds' might UBC won 36 out of 38 gold medals and
broke eight meet records (several of which they held). For
the fifth year running, the Birds walked away from the
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regional meet with both the men's and women's titles.
But winning the CIS Nationals would be the jewel in the
swim teams' crown. "CWs was definitely a lot of fun.
Rookies got to see how varsity meets played out," says co-
captain Katie Brambley, a fifth-year student. "But we train
all year and this is what we get ready for."
The female team is bigger than it has been in years, with
six new rookies, including Liz Collins, who came back from
last month's meet in Edmonton with five Canada West
medals. The team also boasts three Olympians: Kelly
Stefanyshyn, Jessica Deglau and Katie Brambley.
The men's team also has 18 members this year, with six
new swimmers and three Olympians: Mark Johnson, Brian
Johns and Garett Pulle.
Swimming at home' in the CIS Championship, should be
an added bonus for the Birds. They've had to head east to
Guelph, Ontario for last three years. The swimmers also
feel a slight nudge of stress, however.
"We do feel a little pressured because it is our hometown
and there has been such a hype up for the whole year,"
Stanley says.
The pressure might be on, but that hype will soon
become reality as the few days remaining before Nationals
fly by. The Birds have finished their high-intensity training
and are in the easier stages of race preparation. They defi- .
nitely deserve the easy pace: regular training during the
season is 24 hours a week.
"[Now] we do a lot of race rehearsal," explains Kevin
Johns. "We can work on our race strategy instead of just
working on shape all of the time."
Although the Birds may be the best team in the CIS, they
are not invincible. Earlier in the season, the men knew they
needed to work on the backstroke. Now that work has paid off.
"The backstroke has actually been fantastic," Kevin
Johns says. "At Canada West it was one of our strongest
events: the medals were swept at CWs."
Fourth-year veterans Roland Bauhart and Mark
Johnson each swam the event at that meet and medalled.
Nineteen-year-old Olympian Brian Johns also took a gold
in the backstroke.
"We're pretty well-rounded, and we have quite a bit of
depth in all of the events. Guys have stepped up where
we have been weak," adds Kevin Johns. "We're looking
pretty good."
Fortune, however, gave the Birds an edge at the Canada
West Championship: Many of the Calgary Dinos—the Birds'
1 raghest competition—had the flu, which slowed down the
Alberta team and kept some members out of the pool altogether. But the Dinos will be back at full strength for
Nationals.
"It's going to be a totally different meet [than Canada
West]," says Johns. "Calgary is going to have all of their guys
this time, including Olympian Rick Say, but I think we
match up pretty well against them."
The women's weakness is the breaststroke, the only event
in which they didn't have a top-five finish at Canada West
Stanley shrugs it off, "We're stronger in some events
than others. I'm pretty confident the coaches will have it
covered by [Nationals]," she says.
In the meantime, the Thunderbirds are hoping to awe
the audience with another form of entertainment: cheering.
"We've got some great, exciting cheers," laughs
Brambley. "It's our best year of cheers ever."
It's looking more and more likely that the Birds will win
their fifth consecutive men's and women's national titles
this year. And if the Birds do accomplish their 'Drive for
Five' this year, they'll, aim for the 'Mix for Six' next season.
The CIS Nationals will be held at the UBC Aquatic Centre
from February 22 to 24. ♦
Coaches: "coiiMeaics, humility and caution"
The head coach of the T-Birds has no
doubt that his championship team will
bring home two more banners. Tom
Johnson has been coaching the top collegiate level program in the country since
1991 and if anyone knows the Birds,
it's him.
Johnson feels this season's team is one
of the best he's seen. "These guys are a
championship team and they know how to
win over and over again," he says.
Assistant coach Randy Bennett is in his
ninth year of coaching the program and
he agrees with Johnson. "The expectation
is to go out and win the meet, but the reality is you have to actually swim the meet
and see how it upholds. We have a very
good chance at winning."
Although Johnson has full confidence
in his team he fears over-confidence in
the swimmers. "What they have to do is
not get ahead of themselves and see the
championship in their pockets before it's
there," he says. "Confidence, humility and
caution. You have to have the right blend
of each going in to the meet."
Both the male and female teams are
deep in talent, but the breaststroke is one
discipline no one likes to speak of. 'We
don't really have a great breaststroker in
the program," admits Johnson. "That's a
bit of a hole in the program and if we
don't cover the event we have to make up
for it in other places."
According to Johnson it's strategically
better not to turn someone into a
breaststroker when will perform better
in other events. Bennett adds,. "It's a
choice of where we place our swimmers,
not a weakness. We are pretty good at
breaststroke if we want to be."
Both coaches agree that the return of
Kelly Doody, who was away last semester
on exchange, will improve the situation.
While the Birds may lack a breaststroker, their depth in other events overshadows this weakness. Newcomers Liz Collins
and Brent Hayden both won medals at
Canada West Championship and are looking even better for Nationals.
"[Olympians]   Brian Johns   and   Mark
Text by Parminder Nizhe; photos by Chris Shepherd
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.liio axe you like on Seinfeld?: "Kramer, because I'm always
doing: little^unll> things that make no sense*
Jessica ^CDe^tei
Hiis Olympic swimmer went to
high school in Kitsilano before
swimming for UBC. She won three
golds and broke a record at the
Canada West Championship.
Superstitions: "I paint my toenails
blue at [CIS] Nationals and
Canadian flags when I'm representing Canada"
Fallback career "Probably professional student at the wayT'm going.
I'm going to be here for a long time"
Dream d§||:'iWayn0,Bra^iy from Whose line is it Anyway?
]&% ^oo^fpsf JQRQdy
; The Olympian jnd^ fifcyear geog-
\ *|ipJiy s^id^nC jjisj' %?% %ack in
|ajHiary from an exchange in
. Afstralii. Sl|e'3 i>ee^ a member of
Y|he7;ana«iiaji natiohal team and
.., UBC's last four CIS Championship
.■ ..wiiijiing teains,
giiperstaions: "No*..,.'
fallback cajee^ "I'd like to be a
sgc»w^pal'4er in my next life":
JDreato^^:,^ Eddie
Y^eddef'from l^esri Japi*
. , —wtii iStes &oia*Scott Bardsiey 8
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2002
SPORTS
THEUBYSSEY
Missing a Computing Course?
And Now You're Freaking!
Don't worry, Athabasca University can help,
if you need a computing course now, we deliver 24/7:
Monthly start dates ®   Flexible, online learning »   Electronic tutor support
Courses from Intro, to Java and ai to Systems *  Register Today!
http://ccism.pc.athabascau.ca/it.htm
auinfo@athabascau.ca »   1-888-784-9686
Athabasca University^
Canada*s %-)pen University
.-'•■»
«. i*
I   In!   K      C- 0
OTtl A
Three B-ball women in car accident; lose twice
by Sarah Conchie
Forget the score. In a series where
nothing really matters but respect
(both SFU and UBC have already
secured playoff spots), numbers and
stats don't tell the whole story.
Taking on the top team in the
country on that team's home turf
without injured point guard
Charmene Adams and forward
Carrie Watson wasn't going to be
easy for UBC's women's basketball
team. Before tip-off Friday night, the
Birds were hopeful, looking to the
team's leading team scorer Carrie
Rogers and guard
Sheila Townsend to put
up a good fight But that
was before Rogers,
Townsend and second-
year guard Sherri
Savage walked gingerly
into Chancellor's Gym
on Friday night and sat
stiffly on the bench, where they
would remain for the rest of game.
Scant minutes earlier, the three had
been in a car accident that left them
all reeling. Swathed in ice, suffering
from whiplash, they could only
watch as SFU pounded the remaining Birds into submission. And with
Saturday's Clan win, SFU iced an
undefeated season for the first time
in Clan history and took home their
13th straight Barbara Rae Cup, the
trophy awarded to the winner of the
annual UBC-SFU grudge match.
The sight of 17 drunken, kilted
Clan fans would be enough to distract even the most focused athlete,
but the SFU women's team took to
the floor with absolute concentration Friday night, executing a 12-
point scoring run while holding the
stunned Birds to a single basket in
the first six minutes of the game.
UBC was still absorbing the news of
the accident as rookie Lauren Liem
was thrust onto the court to direct
her teammates from the point while
fending off SFU's graduating
Olympian, Teresa Kleindeist
"At first, I was really, really nerv-
ous-from coming off the bench to
starting the game, especially against
[Kleindeist]." Liem said.
She didn't look it Rather, Liem
seemed three inches taller, shooting
3 for 4 from behind the arc and
calmly dishing out the ball to the
indefatigable Brandie Speers, who
ended the night with a team high 21
points. But like a great, hungry bear
G AMES CORE 1
£0j 63
being stung by a swarm of bees, SFU
hardly flinched, knocking back 30
points off honeyed threes by the
Clan's sharpshooters and winning
the contest 81-55.
Saturday night again saw Liem
directing UBC's offence, but this
time around, she had backup. Sheila
Townsend took off her ice pack long
enough to make the Clan work hard
for their 25th win of the season,
posting 15 points for the Birds.
Townsend made her presence
known early on, draining a gutsy
jumper to make the game 21-20
UBC. For a brief, shining moment, it
looked as if the
ruised Birds
rould do the impossible. The Clan's
usually physical
game was pinched
by the refs, allowing
UBC to pad their
lead by eight points
as the final minutes of the first half
ticked away. But there's a reason
SFU is undefeated and the top-
ranked team in Canada. Kristen
Wood rallied the Clan with a fierce
three-pointer, closing the gap to a
mere three points at the buzzer.
With Kleindeist muscling Townsend
and Jessica Kaczowka scoring 23 of
SFU's 42 points in the paint, the
shorthanded Birds soon faltered
and lost the game 69-50.
UBC's coach Deb Huband had little to say about the loss. With four
injured starters and an upcoming
home series against the solid 12-8
Winnipeg Wesmen, the Birds have
bigger worries.
"We're a little concerned," she
said. "Playoffs are a week away and
we've got, how many starters down?
I mean, we can withstand a lot
because we do have depth, but this
is getting on the ridiculous side."
Huband was happy to see that
Townsend played well on Saturday,
but with a week of 'wait and sees'
ahead, it's small consolation. "It's
going to be an interesting week at
practice, because not everybody
will be dressed, and we'll just have
to prepare as best we can and hope
that the pieces fall in place,"
Huband said.
The Thunderbirds play the
Wesmen in a best-of-three Canada
West Quarterfinal at War Memorial
Gym at 6:15pm on Friday and
Saturday, and at 2pm on Sunday, if
necessary. ♦
Alpine Skiing
Both the men's and women's ski teams qualified for the USCSA Western
Regional Championship after a successful weekend at Schweizter
Mountain in Idaho. Stephanie Rodenkirchen made two top-ten finishes
and Paul Boskovich won a bronze.
Ice Hockey
Last weekend, the men's hockey team had a realistic shot at its first road
win of the season when the Thunderbirds played the lowly 4-16-3
Brandon Bobcats. But the road-curse haunted the team once again, and
UBC lost-S-2 on Friday and 5-3 Saturday. The Birds will play Regina at the
Winter Sports Centre this weekend.
Curiously enough, the women's team made it to playoffs on the
'strength.'of a 1-10-1 record. But when they hit the ice this weekend, they
, lost i'i to Lethbridge. ♦ THE UBYSSEY
SPORTS
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2002
Basketball men devour SFU Clan
Final regular conference standings
Men
Central Division
GP
W
L
T
PTS
AJbi-rh
2D
19
l
0
38
S-iskal'.hij,.van
20
ID
:o
0
20
I" llyrirv
20
6
ii
0
12
U-LUVidjj.;
20
(i
14
0
12
Pacific Division
GP
w
L
T
PTS
S.'ii'in Fras-or
2D
1-1
6
0
28
U3C
20
14
6
0
28
\'ic'.ori-i
20
10
:o
0
20
TriyL'y WYs'ltti
2D
3
17
0
6
Great Plains Division
GP
w
L
T
PTS
Brmdon
iy
is
3
u
32
Wmnipc-ti
20
10
10
0
20
R^'.m
20
•i
12
0
16
Manitoba
10
3
16
0
6
Women
Pacific Division
Si::i >n Frit-wr
UBC
IVmi'y \V,'sl,<rn
Victoria
GP
20
20
20
20
Great Plains Division GP
R.-^.-.-i 20
WLinipcj 20
M.inil.-Ui 20
iVa^don 20
Central Division GP
.Mbi'rl.i 20
Calg-iry 20
h<".hbrH»e 20
Sdskat'.h.'wan 20
w
20
14
7
5
"
17
12
5
0
w
13
9
3
7
L
0
6
13
13
L
3
8
13
2D
o
11
11
13
T
0
0
0
0
T
0
0
0
0
T
0
0
0
<J
PTS
40
28
14
10
PTS
34
24
10
0
PTS
30
18
18
14
 by Rob Nagai
CIS top scorere Kyle Russell and his
hungry crew on the Thunderbirds
men's basketball team scoured
Burnaby Mountain this weekend in
search of their next meal. What
Simon Fraser had hoped would be a
bird bath soon turned into a
Clansmen blood bath. The nationally
ninth-ranked Simon Fraser fell to the
Thunderbirds both nights in what
proved to be some of the most aggressive basketball this season.
On Friday night, the SFU Clan won
the opening tip-off and got the first
two points. The play moved methodically, with the T-Birds chasing Simon
Fraser all over the scoreboard.
UBC were down five at the end of
the half. "First half we came out a little slow," point guard Paul Naka said
after the game. "We had them we
stuck with them, got down a bit and
got our way back into it"
When the T-Birds came back on
the court, their hunger was showing.
Two minutes in, down 38-33, the
Birds roared down court and put the
ball in Russell's hands. He split two
Clansmen and hit a long jumper.
With ten minutes left, the Birds
pulled ahead with a little help off the
bench from Jama Mahlalela.
Mahlalela hit a crowd-pleaser from
way beyond the arc to tie the game for
the first time that night Two minutes
later, Mahlalela hit another three-
pointer to put UBC ahead.
The Birds nibbled at SFU until the
6:45 mark, when Russell drove the
lane against three clansmen. Fouled
to the ground, Russell gracefully hit
his shot before hitting the gym floor.
w-
7$
9
Not fazed, Russel nailed his foul-shot
for a three-point play.
The Birds finished the Clan 76-73.
The Birds' well-executed play and
hard work inside the paint from the
likes of Jason Bristow and Ben
Sansburn clinched it
"The only unfortunate thing is that
we lost a few points at the end that
would have helped with the point
spread. Other than
that we played well,"
Sansburn said. "On
the boards it wasn't
easy, banging with
bigger guys than me.
I'm just grinding,
I'm just trying to hit
some bodies to go
after the ball. It's hard work,"
Sansburn was second in UBC scoring
with 16 points, behind Russell's 27.
On Saturday night there was barely enough meat on the Clansmen
bones to make a meal for the T-Birds.
SFU chased UBC all night, but the
Clan couldn't catch up. Going into the
second half, UBC was up by three
points. Then the Birds took to the air
and blew the game open, leading by
as much as 15 points.
At one point during the second
half, Corey Ogilvie fell to the ground.
He appeared to be injured and was
subbed out, holding his arm. Kelly
Smith, the Thunderbirds' trainer,
said Ogilvie had dislocated his shoulder. But it wasn't a problem.
"I often have to help people who
do it the first time," Smith said.
"[Ogilvie] puts it back in himself."
Ogilvie was quickly back on the court
after missing only a couple minutes
of play. He was a strong presence in
GAME SCORE E
73
83
the last stretch, finishing the night
with 2 5 points.
The T-Birds took the match with a
90-83 win. Russell once again led the
team this time with 31 points, five
assists and 6 rebounds.
"We took two games from SFU, in
their gym, and this is a good team.
We're pretty confident in how we can
play right now. Tonight is the hardest
we've played as a team,
an for man," Russell
said.
Russell, who seldom
comments on his individual performance,
won the national scor- -
ing title this weekend.
The last Bird to win a
national scoring title was J.D.Jackson
back in 1992. Russell hit the 30-plus
point mark in seven of 20 conference
games this season and averaged 25.2
points per game.
While UBC ate SFU alive both
nights, the only thing that the T-Birds
could not digest was the ominous
point spread. UBC ends this season
tied with SFU at a record of 14-6, but
the Clan comes out ahead in the
standings because of the score differential, leaving the Birds in second
place in the Pacific Division.
The Canada West playoffs start
this weekend with UBC hosting UVic
in a best-of-three series at 8:15pm on
Friday and Saturday, with a tie-breaker at 4pm on Sunday if necessary.
UBC and UVic have split in previous visits, each with two wins and two
losses. While UVic has a larger team,
that only makes for a bigger meaL
And the Birds are playing like they
are starving. ♦
Calling all innovators, creative souls
and business savvy entrepreneurs.
The AMS, your student society, needs your best
ideas!
The Bank of Montreal is moving out of the SUB, and
we need to find a new way to utilize this space.
Right now we are in the process of collecting your
input on how to use this area, in order to provide
the kinds of services you want. Feel free to submit
more than one idea about what should go in this
space - be as creative as you want! Please submit
your suggestions via e-mail to:
vpadmin@ams.ubc.ca, or drop by the Bank of
Montreal and fill out the comment cards located at
the entrance.
feedbackOams.ubc.ca • www.ams
AMS JOBS
AiS Annual laneral ioeting
A year in review of your Student Society
Monday, February 28,2002 12:00 pm
SUB South Alcove
Everyone is welcome to attend.
Finally your lucky break!  —         —       —       —
Do you want to work part time, make good money, implement changes at your university, learn about your field of interest, and
work with fantastic people - without having to go off campus?
Now hiring Vice Chairs and Commissioners for: Student Administrative Commission, Finance Commission,
University Commission, and External Commission. Pick up an info package from SUB 238, or download from our website at:
www. atns.ubc.ca.
Applications should be addressed to: Christopher Lythgo, Chair of the AMS Appointments Committee.
Room 248 - 6138 SUB Blvd, Vancouver, B.C. V6T1Z1. Phone:604-822-3092 or e-mail: vpacademic@ams.ubc.ca
Application deadline: March 1,2002
Wanna be the king of the castle? Then apply for one of our part-time AMS Service coordinator openings
Advocate
• Assist students in approaching the university on individual matters.
Joblink
• Provide career advising opportunities and job-search services for UBC students.
Ombuds
• Receive, investigate and resolve complaints from students about the university.
Safewalk
• Manage all aspects of the Safewalk program to meet student needs: staffing, legal issues and liaison.
Speakeasy
• Ensure that the peer counseling and information desk is staffed year round with informed volunteers.
Tutoring Services
• Responsible for tutoring programs, residence drop-in tutoring and other initiatives.
Volunteer Services
• Responsible for the management of the internship program and other volunteer programs throughout the campus
community, as well as soliciting new volunteer opportunities.
Time Commitment: Hours vary per position. Some services are in full operation during the summers. For others, the summer
months will be spent planning for the upcoming school year. Expect between 15-20 hours per week during the school year.
During the final month of your term, you will be expected to shadow the incoming coordinator.
Salary: $12,000 for a one-year term. Applicants must remain students throughout their entire term.
Applications should be addressed to: Christopher Lythgo, Chair of the AMS Appointments Committee.
Room 248-6138 SUB Blvd, Vancouver, B.C. V6T1Z1. Phone:604-822-3092 or e:mail:vpacademic@ams.ubc.ca
Application deadline: March 1, 2002 ~
For more information on these positions please visit the AMS website at sviviv.ams.u6c.ca and check out AMS Jobs. 10
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2002
OP/ED
THE UBYSSEY
THEUBYSSEY
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2002
VOLUME 83 ISSUE 37
-I
EDITORIAL BOARD
COORDINATING EDITOR
Duncan M. McHugh
NEWS EDITORS
Ai Lin Choo
Sarah MacNeill Morrison
CULTURE EDITOR
Ron Nurwisah
SPORTS EDITOR
Scott Bardsiey
FEATURES EDITOR
Julia Christensen
COPY/VOLUNTEERS EDITOR
Laura Blue
PHOTO EDITOR
Nic Fensom
PRODUCTION MANAGER
Hywel Tuscano
COORDINATORS
VOLUNTEERS COORDINATOR
Graeme Worthy
LETTERS COORDINATOR
Alicia Miller
The Ubyssey is the official student newspaper of the
University of British Columbia. It is published eveiy
Tuesday and Friday by The Ubyssey Publications Society.
We are an autonomous, democratically run student organisation, and aK students are encouraged to participate.
Editorials are chosen and written by the Ubyssey staff.
They are the expressed opinion of the staff, and do not
necessarily reflect the views of The Ubyssey Publications
Society or the University of British Columbia.
The Ubyssey is a founding member of Canadian University
Press (CUP) and adheres to CUFs guiding principles,
AD editorial content appearing in The Ubyssey is the property of The Ubyssey Publications Society. Stories, opinions, photographs and artwork contained herein cannot
be reproduced without Hie expressed, written permission
of The Ubyssey Publications Society.
Letters to the editor must be under 300 words. Please
include your phone number, student number and signature
(not for publication) as well as your year and faculty with aO
submissions. 10 wiH be checked when submissions are
dropped off ait the editorial office of The Ubyssey, otherwise verification will be done by phone.
"Perspectives" are opinion pieces over 300 words but
under 750 words and are run according to space,
"freestyles" are opinion pieces written by Ubyssey staff
members. Priority will be given to letters and perspectives
over freestyles unless the latter is time sensitive. Opinion
pieces wiB not be run until the identity of the writer has
been verified.
ft is agreed by all persons placing display or classified
advertising that if the Ubyssey Publications Society fails to
publish an advertisement or if an etror in the ad occurs the
liability of the UPS wiB not be greater than the price paid
for the ad. The UPS shall not be responsible for slight
changes or typographical errors that do not lessen the
value or the impact of the ad.
EDITORIAL OFFICE
Room 241K, Student Union Building,
6138 Student Union Boulevard,
Vancouver, BC. V6T 1Z1
tel: (604) 822-2301
fax: (604) 822-9279
web: www.ubyssey.bc.ca
email: feedback@ubyssey.bc.ca
BUSINESS OFFICE
Room 245, Student Union Building
advertising: (604) 822-1654
business office: (604) 822-6681
fax:(604)822-1658
email: ubyssey_ads@yahoo.com
BUSINESS MANAGER
Fernie Pereira
AD SALES
Karen Leung
AD DESIGN
Shalene Takara
As global temperatures rose, the tuition glacier's melted waters decended upon
the town. Gaiy McGee's hardware shop was the Qrst to succumb to lhe deluge.
Chris Shepherd and Ron Nurwisah scrambled up a tree Id avoid the crashing
Unhid waters, oniy lo End thalPann Nizher and Trevor Kew were already up it
and nol willing lo share. Splash splash. The torrent swept over Rob Nagai and
Laura Blue dragging them to an untimely death in the murlty deeps. Sarah
Conchie perished whilst driving her car, even Ihe grease from the pil could nut
give her the power she needed to escape In higher ground. Carh/ Hollander,
Maureen Rode and Heather Arvidson were bidder they escaped hyhettct^ter to
a rpagiral [and where tuition was free. Duncan McHugh and Sarah MacNeiD
Morisson's broom shcqi was just high enough to become waterfront property.
Alicia Miller and AiLin Choo both had nervous breakdowns from lhe drastic dilution or their Tamous creamcheese icing in their bakery op Broadway. A mud,
more relaxed approadj was taken by ScoB Bardsiey and Sara Young as thqv
inflated a rubber rait and invited a candlestick maier to join them in their voyage across the Pacific Nic Fensom abruptly changed his name lo Noah and
began stealing neighbourhood pets. The worst is feared for Julia Chrisensen
and Hywel Tuscano as lhe}' were in a seafood restaurant at the time of the thaw
and lhe imprisoned lobsters were freed and went berierit, the screams reported by Graeme Worllry and the now while haired Kathy Deering were
"Bloodcurdling." Lauren Emberson is still missing.
Fear and loathing at UBC
Well, it's almost Valentine's Day. What better
time of year to sit back with your loved one and
reflect on all the things that you really hate? You
know, the things you totally loath. Nothing
brings you closer together with someone than
contempt for something. So here to get your
romantic discussion started is a list of things
that we at the Ubysseyhate:
-Gordon Campbell
-that beep noise when you get your ticket from
the bus-fare machine
-waiting for the person in front of you in line for
the bus to figure out where to put their ticket in
the bus-fare machine
-those dumb bus-fare machines
-Mary Kate and Ashley Olson
-the provincial government
-that government's cuts
-that government's total disregard for the concerns of students
-that government's eviction of the campers from
'Camp Campbell,' a group of protesters on the
Legislature lawn
-that government's ability to do whatever the
hell it wants
-Gordon Campbell
-axes of evil
-drying off with a wet towel
-getting to the swimming pool and realising
you've forgotten your bathing suit
-losing your googles
-Manchester United FC
-the Vancouver Canucks
-the Vancouver Grizzlies
-oh, too late, whatever. Having fun in Memphis?
-cell phones that play songs like "Scotland the
Brave" and "The Entertainer"
-people who talk on cell phones in class
-people who play video games on their cell
phones during class
-people who are stupid enough to leave their cell
phone on during class
-people  whose  cell phones  go  off during
midterms
-paying $2.75 for pizza at Pie R Squared
-rental security
-Ladner Exchange
-Ladner
-people who say they're from White Rock when
they're really from South Surrey
-the high price of juice
-discussions about the existence of God in the
Ubyssey letters section
-living six people to a 'quad' with one bathroom
and one kitchen
-February
-Gordon Campbell
-the BC Liberals
-the BC Young Liberals
-teachers who notice when you skip class
-Nickelback
-things that remind us of Nickelback
-Creed
-Matchbox 20
-Matchbox cars—so inferior to Hot Wheels
-low sperm counts
-Gordon Campbell
-George W. Bush
-kamikaze pretzels who fail in their mission
-the threat of nuclear war
-war
-Entertainment Tonight
-reality TV
-TV
-reality
-sleep deprivation
-the sound of nails scratching across a chalk
board
-things that leak
-toast popping before the eggs are done cooking
-people who buy lottery tickets
-people who wear visors
-people who wear visors backwards
-thin actresses who wear fat suits
-the smell of deep-frying coming from the SUB
Cafeteria kitchens early in the morning
-the Moon
-the SUB basement washrooms
-the Buchanan washrooms
-cars that don't stop for pedestrians
-concussions
-people who finish their Christmas shopping in
November
-bad Christmas gifts
-remembering during Christmas dinner exactly
why you moved out
-moving house
-cleaning house
-roommates who never clean the house
-puking
-roommates who never clean the house after
puking
-Gordon Campbell!
-the tuition fee thaw
-people who wear their fraternity or sorority
sweatshirts all the time
-people who wear UBC-wear all the time
-Honda Preludes
-not being able to think of all the things you hate
-having to hate things. ♦
■L iiLGr    JLaAA |sJ<IJr JL iCiA&is#C#    %#A     OIU^O    J_A%^%0%£\jAimA
Canadian
University
Press
Canada Pott Sale* Agraamant Numbv 0732141
 by Duncan M. McHugh
As many of you know, there has
been a lot of controversy lately surrounding decisions made by the
CanWest Global Communications
Corp. CanWest, owner of Southam,
publisher of 14 major daily newspapers across the country—including the National Post, The
Vancover Sun and The Province—
has decided recently to force 12 of
its dailies, the Sun being one of
them, to publish an editorial produced at CanWest headquarters in
Winnipeg.
These editorials have been written about a variety of topics, but
are written to the benefit of the
Asper family, owners of CanWest.
On January 3, the editorial pleaded
with the federal government to
reduce and eventually abolish capital-gains taxes for private foundations, a sentiment blatantly self-
serving and obviously inspired by
the Aspers' own 'philanthropy.'
The following editorial, onjanuary
10, called for the entrenchment of
property rights in Canada's
Charter of Rights and Freedoms.
Onjanuary 31, in yet another
editorial, Southam defended its
national editorials, saying they
sought "to bring Canadians together through national discussions of
ideas." This is tremendously
flawed logic. How exactly does
Southam expect to have a discussion when it is
forcing its
beliefs, via these
national editorials, on its readers and its employees. By preventing individual papers from creating their own editorial views,
Southam is disempowering the
people that have the most at stake
in these papers, those who produce it on a daily basis.
CanWest has also taken to getting rid of writers whose opinions
differ from the company line.
Journalists in Halifax, Montreal,
Ottawa and Regina have-be en fired
FREESTYLE
OPINION
or have resigned. The Aspers are
staunchly pro-Israeli and pro-
Liberal, and it is well-known that
stories critical of either Israel or
the federal Liberals have to go
through head office in Winnipeg
and are often heavily edited or not
published at all.
This level of censorship is reprehensible. Naturally, newspaper
owners are going to inflence the editorial direction of
the papers they
. own, but the
Aspers have gone
too far. Editorial
contributions to newspapers should
be seen as a privilege, not a right.
As a journalist working at a student newspaper, I am in a unique
position of being able to publically
criticise the corporations that own
newspapers, a luxury that my colleagues at The Vancouver Sun and
The Province don't have.
It is with this in mind that I—
along with my colleagues at the
Vbyssey and   at  the  Canadian
University Press (CUP), and student journalists across the country—will participate in National
Freedom of the Press Day of
Action! Joining the Canadian
Association of Journalists, the
Quebec Federation of Professional
Journalists and the Council of
Canadians, CUP, a national student
press organisation co-founded by
the Ubyssey, is calling for a full
parliamentary inquiry into the
effects of 'convergence' within
Canada's media.
The National Freedom of the
Press Day of Action! happens this
Friday, February 15. We will be
meeting in the Ubyssey offices at
11:30 and then busing downtown.
The demonstration will happen at
12:30 in front of The Vancouver
Sun's and The Province's offices at
200 Granville Street. Everyone is
welcome. ♦
-Duncan M. McHugh is the
coordinating editor of
 the Ubyssey THE UBYSSEY
CULTURE
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2002
11
A must see fairy tale
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by Heather Arvidson
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KING LEAR
at Studio 58
until Feb. 24
Clanging, eerie chimes greet an
intimate audience at Langara's
Studio 58. Not quite music, the
discordant clamour anticipates
Lear's collapse into the stormy
irrationality of madness. Soon,
metallic costumes spill onto a
metallic stage, creating a cold,
cruel background to the play's
intensely human performances.
"King Lear" opens like a fairy
tale. An ageing king divides his
lands between three daughters,
promising the best portion to the
one who loves him most. With
syrupy flattery, the eldest two,
Goneril and Regan, pledge all their
love to Leaf. But Cordelia, Lear's
youngest and favourite daughter,
speaks plainly and truly, answering
that she loves her father neither
more nor less than a daughter
should. Blinded by his wounded
pride, Lear commits the play's central act of tragic hubris: he casts off
his one faithful daughter, and so
initiates his fall. Goneril and Regan
soon prove to be tyrants, refusing
their father refuge in his own castle.
In the glare of their ingratitude,
Lear finally sees his error and the
realisation drives him out onto the
stormy heath and into madness.
Mirroring Lear's story is that of
the Earl of Gloucester and his two
sons. Gloucester is tricked by his
illegitimate son, Edmund, into
believing that his other son, Edgar,
is plotting to kill him. To escape his
father's rage, Edgar flees to the
heath, leaving the cunning Edmund
to collaborate with Goneril and
Regan in persecuting Gloucester.
Together the characters ensure
that, as in any good Elizabethan
tragedy, "King Lear" concludes with
a dizzying parade of deaths.
Cruelty in "King Lear," however,
is countered by immense tenderness. Studio 58 founder Antony
Holland is a spellbinding Lear. He
conveys impetuous fury, good-
natured humour and staggering grief
without strain. Above all though, it is
his tenderness that makes Holland's
Lear heartbreakingly real.
Debbie Love plays a nurturing
Fool whose devotion to Lear makes
her seem almost like a fourth child.
Directqr^ Jane Heyman's unusual
decision to cast a woman in the typically male role of the Fool heightens this effect, creating a parallel
between Cordelia and the Fool as
Lear's loyal and wiser children.
Edgy costume and set design
create a glamorous, visually
appealing surface that fits the
play's fairy-tale-gone-bad setting. In
the centre of the circular set is a
disc that tilts to look like a sundial
at some times and like a forest
hovel at others. Metal poles scattered around the stage are used as
swords in this production's well-
choreographed fight scenes. The
bold Japanese-inspired costumes
are dramatic as a fashion show.
The combination of strong acting,
thematic resonances and visual
flair are enchanting. If you love1
Shakespeare, or even if you don't,
this is the performance to see. ♦
Dead right about Christopher Marlowe
by Carly Hollander
THE DEAD RECKONING
at Performance Works
until Feb. 16
Ever wondered why Shakespeare is a literary
god and Christopher Marlowe is only something to study in high school lit class? Born in
the same year and writing at the same time,
it's funny how William has become a pop-culture icon and Christopher is only studied in
academia.
"The Dead Reckoning" explores these ideas
in a tragic and humorous account of
Elizabethan politics. "Reckoning" looks at the
murder of Marlowe and how his involvement
in courtly politics influenced his death. Critics
have argued that Marlowe is the better writer
and so does this play. Shakespeare (David
Mackay), is a figure to be mocked—a struggling writer who steals witty phrases from
friends in order to compose his work. He is
merely a writer, writing play after play just to
keep a decent life while his friends
Christopher Marlowe (Mark Hildreth) and
Thomas Kyd (Dean Paul Gibson) mock his
integrity and reluctance to do anything but
play by the rules.
Then there is Marlowe—poet, playwright
and lover. Hildreth's performance is bursting
with passion. His love affair with Thomas Kyd
is so convincingly played that their forced separation in the play led to tears in the audience.
The fiery Marlowe is aware of his talents, but
also sees his involvement in politics as a vul-
nerabiliiy. Particularly fascinating is Marlowe's
awareness that he is a force in creating history.
The cast of "The Dead Reckoning" is a collection of familiar local actors, who—besides
their incredible talents—brought with them
unforgettable performances. Chapelle Jaffe's
Mary, Queen of Scots appears only in one
. scene, but what a scene. Awaiting her death in
the tower, she is visited by Marlowe and Kyd
on the request of Queen Elizabeth. In a powerful moment, Marlowe touches her hand as
he recites his "Passionate Shepherd to his
Love." She shakes, having not had any human
contact for months.
It was refreshing to see such a dynamic
cast in such a small venue. Performance
Works, on Granville Island, provides an intimate setting and aids the spectators' emotional interaction with the play.
"The Dead Reckoning" has increased my
appreciation for Marlowe, both as a poet and
as a spy. He's not the James Bond of
Elizabethan society—yet there is something
about this man who was so great a lover and a
poet, that might make you question your love
of Shakespeare. ♦
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February 12-15
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OjliiU
.        -  ,-.-:..<N.   -' ^1
12
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2002
FEATURE
THE UBYSSEY
ti
Time to get desperate looking for Valentine's Day dates
<)M//?y
799
by Julia
Christensen
H     *
**       t's that time of year again: Valentine's
Day, also known as 'the other VD/ that
day of the year that Hallmark invented to
make  those  of us  who   aie   *>_r.gk>   fed
depressed, lonely and very, ve ry 1 'j ite r.   *
However, it's far too easy Lo dvsif }.i ■«-
simistically when you are sing] i j n 1 Febru „ry
14 looms in the not-so-distant fi fi.ru, thro lt-
emng you with its immin^at 'af-ival* «ud
stitky-sweet way of making you feel r «jp 1.1'ly
small. No, it's time to lift your <hjn up «iil
^Yi. look at the bright side—there . its \\\>j A«.\-*
remaining until Valentine's Da;.
t That's not a lot of time, bn Ji)'i'tp'Jn-:< A
team of Ubyssey-appointed piik-vp «U:-'s
(well, maybe not artists) were *i£ocLrJ io *.rv
out a number of different pick-up ^a't'^ ea ;n
the hopes that maybe one of thun i^iiicj k
and maybe—just maybe—it mitht ln-^js'ti ^tj&
to be shamelessly desperate j juur mv
quest for a Valentine's Day chum.
First things first Is picking up something better done alone, or can friends
provide some important moral support? Indeed, this is a tricky question. Go at it
alone, and you avoid the embarrassment of
rejection in front of your friends. But then,
you don't want to look like a loner sitting in
the bar/cafe/leather shop trying to pick up.
When discussing this dilemma, Ron
Nurwisah, Ubyssey culture editor, mentioned
™ *■ his strategy. When a girl is with a friend, he
says, you can't go up to her by yourself. Even
if she's interested, she will downplay it for
fear of seeming eager in front of her friend. I
don't know if this is true, or if Ron is just trying to explain away all the awkward silences
that have followed his attempts to pick up.
Anyways, he feels the situtation calls for a
'tag team.'
"It's all about the wing man," he says. "A
wing man, just like hockey. You get a friend to
distract her friend, and then you go in for
the number."
The decision is yours: go alone, or take
someone along. In the pick-up experiments
that follow, there was typically a friend present, for moral support and safety—because
picking up can be. a dangerous endeavour
at times.
Supermarkets, I am told, are an excellent
place to find future dates, spouses or
sperm donors/surrogate mothers. The
supermarket of the 21 st century is not simply
a convenient place to find steak, lottery tickets
and pregnancy tests. No, the supermarket of
today can offer you much, much more.
We identify our target in the cereal aisle.
He looks as though he has never purchased
cereal before in his life. Jana, our pick-up
-* artist, prepares herself for the approach.
Jana is supposed to be calm and collected.
She's supposed to offer a nutritious, yet fun
cereal suggestion. But instead Jana doesn't
just lose her cool; she shows a side herself
that is wholly terrifying.
By the time Jana reaches our target, he has
picked up a box of Fruit Loops and is reading
the fist of ingredients on the side. Jana, ever
•'■-*■ so casually, sidles up to him to peruse the
cereal. And then the worst happens. Perhaps
it is nervousness, perhaps it is the ridiculousness of ihe situation, but, tragically, Jana
starts to laugh—and Jana can't stop.
The target looks sidelong at her, unsure
what to do. There is no one else in the aisle,
-*%. so he can't look at anyone else for direction.
Finally, he asks "What's so funny?" Jana, of
course, can't really tell him what's funny.
Instead, she points at the toucan on the Froot
Loops box and continues laughing, so much
that tears begin to well up in her eyes.
-^* "The parrot," she laughs. The target, sens
ing danger, slowly puts the Froot Loops into
his cart and begins to back away. But Jana,
remeiriberirig her mission, blurts but: "Would
you like to go out sometime?"
Any attempts at describing the sheer horror of this moment would be in vain. Our
beloved target says absolutely nothing as he
baiks up with his cart, exiting swiftly. Our
fir'-t pirk-up misMOi ends in humiliating
, failure
rr\\c rpm'.lf* later, cruising the natural
£o')'!s -w'lin we t-py a new target Jana
« fa^-i™ nn ll':* =>iv >>nd mission with a little
ni >:«.■ oii.po"^'^ «iJ chats^up a fine-looking
t.;i.T.gt.r,' n1 ik'rg ji intelligent-sounding
iO'"-nti:t a'joU pencil .'lily modified food.
0 .. tv'.v Uiri't own ippi'dis to be moderately 'PLt-.'Y-.U'd S' t thon. tragedy strikes. Just as
J.liu -.Ld'd lo ijin L up a notch, our friend
fiom tho t iti" i! . iMQ reappears and makes a
bt'oL:r,o 1-ir our jnow friend in the natural
foui U a jt, j'op.-^
"Dod^Twt1' hi\e to go,"he says.
What J j ,)uu moon? I'm still shopping,"
replies natural-foods-guy.
"No dude, we have to go\"
Natural-foods-guy shoots Jana an apologetic look, as he is led away by cereal-man. As
the two guys shuffle past me with their carts,
the cereal-man says to his friend, "Shit, what
are you doing?] That's the psycho I was telling
you about"
Pick-up lesson number one: You may be
rejected. You may feel completely pathetic.
You may even be labeled a 'psycho.'
Remember, we never said this would be easy.
If you want a date in time for Valentine's Day,
there's Utile time for self-loathing. You'll have
to brush yourself off and get back on the
horse.
f you fjn- y£hoT :»*
•>.
4-^
The
Ai
Fr
le Cambie seems like a sure bet
Anyone who has been there on a
Friday or Saturday night knows what to
expect—a refreshing melange of real live vampires (complete with fang-capped teeth),
rowdy first-years from Totem who got lost on
their pub crawl, and everyone else.
This time, I'm with my friend Alice.
Scoping out the scene, it looks promising.
We're getting welcoming 'come hither' eyes
from a variety of seemingly eligible young
men. But in the picking-up game, you have to
be prepared for the many, many others who
are, unbeknownst to you, also playing. Never
forget, there are many people as desperate as
you in this world.
So Alice and I identify the potential targets
and discuss our strategy. We plan on using
the 'wing man' technique. But just as Alice
and I are gulping down our last swigs of
courage (gin and tonic), a 40-something man
stumbles into our path.
"Laaaaaaadies!" he says, spreading out his
arms as if he expects us to seek refuge against
his mighty bosom. We smile and duck to his
left, trying to get by. But he's too quick. He
swoops in with his arm and scoops me
around the shoulder, leaning against me.
"Come on, I just want to talk to you pretty
ladies," he slurs. "Me and my buddies are in
town for a visit. We're from Trail."
"Uh huh," I smile, looking pleadingly at
Alice. The Cambie is packed and escaping
from this man's death grip is not going to be
easy. "My buddies and me, we were wondering if you two like older men," he says, taking
a swig of his beer. "Because we're staying
around here. You two could just come back to
our camper."
"Your camper?" Alice gasps, horrified.
"Yeah, we got it parked out in the lot outside. We're just going to crash there
overnight"
As tempting as this proposal sounds, Alice
and I have to go. Like a godsend, one of the
'buddies' arrives on the scene, slapping our
'friend' on the back with such force that he
drops his beer. Alice and I take the cue and
duck out. But, by that time, the guys we were
going for have disappeared—and besides, we
aren't exactly looking for reasons to stick
around. Exit the Cambie.
Pick-up lesson number two: Act fast,
before someone tries to pick you up. And it is
never, ever, ever a good idea to accept an invitation to enter a camper, especially when it's
owned by rowdy, drunken middle-aged men.
Especially when it's parked on a downtown
street outside of the Cambie.
C t Wednesday night is Pit Night What
\ i \ / better location to pick up than a
J J spot where the uniform is skintight
for girls and Hawaiian-print for the boys? Our
pick-up artists for this assignment are
Rebecca and Maura, both fourth-year UBC students. Experienced in the way of the pick-up,
they waste no time sizing up the crowd for
possibilities.
.We find seats just outside the men's bathroom. It's a strategic location, as you can
peruse the selection of males on their way to
the bathroom and then catch them on their
vuj out ityou tjn>y&HOT >S«a»g» *
AcltMn-t"ijcjnt ariiT-s>rnt tvpc .va'^sby,
oi. ji.* way 'o the c-m Maura £.\vs K'jf'ccca
tlie fje The g.i\ looks* h«.rmlu-> x s^fe start
to i .x^hCrf jlrk-.ni up at f.r- TA, where
t^'ngs (...^liirn fn-mbaJ U>tv(trs»yn a piatter
of tec ond "J.l -i t.«i ■»» \ •ys»iLs Lhe bathroom, Ma i: i * .^,jLi<ifx^j^fr_. him seductive smiles. ^a^j**^
"Hi," they say. Rebecca winks.
"Hi," he replies, obviously surprised at the
attention. He continues walking towards his
table, where a handful of guys are drinking,
and we think we've lost him. Maura starts
scanning the crowd for someone new. But
harmless-guy is talking with his friends and
pointing towards Maura and Rebecca.
Seconds later, he comes back, his friends
rubber-necking to get a good look at the
action.
"Excuse me ladies, but can I sit here? I just
see you two talking here and I thought that this
is what I love about this school. You know,
you're just sitting here having intelligent conversation," he says, and pulls a stool over for
him to lean on. He's holding a beer in one hand
and the lights of the nearby bathroom allow us
a better look at him. His glazed eyes and his
inability to control the movements of his head
indicate that he is very, very intoxicated.
Maura and Rebecca soon realise they misjudged harmless-guy and his character. He is,
unfortunately, not harmless. In fact, he is so
drunk and so unable to control himself that
it's hard to decide which is more likely: him
getting into a fight or him wetting his pants.
Eventually I interrupt the dazzling conversation and suggest to Maura and Rebecca that
we leave. "You're going?" he asks, "Going
where?"
"To the Odyssey," Rebecca says, exasperated. "Ever heard of it? It's a gay bar." Then,
after considering the situation further,
Rebecca adds, "And we're gay." Harmless-guy
starts at them blankly: "Really?"
"Really," they reply. Maura reaches over
and grabs for Rebecca's hand. But, as you
might expect, this sudden declaration of
homosexuality does not deter harmless-guy.
In fact harmless-guy likes this turn of events.
"Hey, that's cool. Really. By the way, I had
a co-op term in San Francisco last year.
Tonnes of gay women like yourselves," he
says, his head flopping to one side. A splash
of beer comes over the side of his glass and
hits Rebecca's leg.
"You know how some girls just, like, pretend that they're gay?" he asks. Maura and
Rebecca smile sweetly at him. He must get
that a lot.
Finally, Maura and Rebecca tell him it's
time for us to go. He might have been disappointed, but by this time he's so drunk, you
can't really tell what he's feeling...except
drunk. Alas, our Pit Night meets with failure.
Pick-up lesson number three: Be very, very
sure the person you want to pick up is not a
creep. Because if s/he is a creep, s/he will not
leave you alone. Also, lesbianism for hetero
guys might not be as much of a turn-off as
you hope.
s;
I o maybe our pick-up experiments were
knot so fruitful. Maybe we didn't succeed
'at all. Maybe we won't spend our
Valentine's Day in the arms of someone special. But at least we'll have funny stories to
share with all the other single people who
have spent the days leading up to Valentine's
Day desperately trying to pick up. And
remember the most important pick-up lesson
of all: There's nothing more promising in the
pick-up department than single, depressed
people sharing a laugh at times of extreme
vulnerability. ♦
—with files from Ron Nurwisah, Jana Smith,
Alice Starkey, Rebecca Koskela and
Maura Lazzarotto

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