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The Ubyssey Jan 19, 2001

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Array DBC A«Mft*» ^AaX
JANUARY 19, 2001.
ALMOST LEGAL Slf/CIE 1918 2[Friday. January 19.2001 JDn»" $mk{^ ^r:r Services
Page Fridav-the Ubvssev Magazine
Rooms are available In the UBC single
student residences for qualified women
and men applicants. Single and shared
rooms in both "room only" and "room
and board" residences are available.
Vacancies can be rented for immediate
occupancy in the Walter H. Gage,
Fairview Crescent, Totem Park, Place
Vanier, and Ritsumeikan - UBC House
Residences (availability is limited for
some residence areas and room types).
Applicants who take occupancy of a residence room now are entitled to reappli-
carion (returning student) privileges for a
"guaranteed" housing assignment for the
2001/2002 Winter Session. Please contact the UBC Housing Office in Brock
Hall for information on rates, availability
and condition of application. The Housing Office is open from 8:30am - 4:00
pm weekdays, or call 822-2811 during
office hours.
DIAL 25-Party, Ads*Jokes*Stories &
MORE! Free Call!* 18+ 'Try it NOW!!!
WORM COMPOSTING WORKSHOP on Wed Jan 24 from 12-lpm.
Call Gillian at 822-9456 or email
gillian.allan^ubc.ca for more info.
VEGGIE LUNCHES, every Tuesday
12:30-2:30 pm in the Penthouse (3rd
floor) of the Grad Center, 6371 Crescent
Rd, vegetarian and vegan food, suggested
donation: $4.00
NDP Rules for the Bosses: Break with
the Pro-Capitalist NDP! Wed. Jan 24
6:30pm Rm 213, SUB. Info: 67-0353 or
7 SECRETS FOR SUCCESS SEMINAR presented by local counsellor and
educator, Tom Abbott. A touch of
Chopra, a hint of Robbins, a pinch of
Kehoe and a dab of Covey served up in
bite-size pieces. Learn how to put principles into practice! Call 872-6260 for
more info.
magazine is looking for poetry, short fiction, drama, art and photography by
UBC students. Email gil@lynx.net
EDITING: You really want to publish
that thing? Better call Mr. Ed. 632-0690
for leaders with Japanese contacts. Free
mailed information. 1-800-234-1192 or
www. essenworkf.com
THE INTERNET. Join free. Not to be
missed! www.teamnetworth.gotoo.com
TUTORS NEEDED - All Grades, All
Subjects! $13.00-$ 17.00 p/h to Start.
Toll Free 1-866-888-8677.
CAREERS? Visit TechnologyCanada.com
CHILD'S LIFE: Become a Literacy
Tutor! The Learning Disabilities Association Vancouver chapter is offering valuable volunteer experience for individuals
planning a career working with children.
Info session: JAN 25, 7PM, Oakridge
Library; JAN 31, 7PM, Firehall Library.
For more information call the LDAV
office @ 873-8139.
MOTHERS WITH 2 SONS are needed
for a UBC study. Mothers get $20 and
children a T-shirt. If interested call 822-
STUDY is recruiting volunteer research
participants who have severe driving
fears. Please call Jaye Wald, Ph.D. Cand.
by experienced accountant: Beg & Intermediate acct. Personal & Corporate
Taxes. Multi-student discounts. Call 831-
help internalize intermediate economics
theory to a single female who enjoys
walks on the beach and the sunset (just
kidding). Rate negotiable, email econ-
'iween classes
Memorial March for Iraqi Victims of Sanctions
Saturday, January 20th, 3:00pm at the
Vancouver Public Library, 350 W. Georgia St.
To mark the 10th annivesary of the Gulf War and to remember the 1.5
million Iraqi people who have died, and the 250 who die everyday as
a result of the UN sanctions against the people of Iraq
organized by the campaign to end sanctions against the people of Iraq
for more information call 985-7147 or 737-1299
Multifaith Environmental Forum
Vancouver Hillel and Adam va'Adamah (The Jewish Environmental
Society) present Earth Tones, a Multifaith Environmental Forum
12:30-2:00pm Wednesday, January 31, SUB Room 207/208
For more information, call Noam at 872*7380 or Anders at 224-4748.
Super Cities Walk/Run for MS
Sunday, April 8. Call 689-3144 for more information and to register.
'tween classes is a free public service of the Ubyssey
fax. submissions to 822-9279, attention 'tweens.
visit us at www.ams.ubc.ca
ctfwese New yeas rvr
Year of the Snake
Wednesday, January 24,2001
SUB Ballroom (upstairs in SUB Building]
11:00 am - 2:30 pm
Gaines o Displays dSnacks o Fortune Telling
Sample Food from Tho Moon
brought to you by your student society Page Fridav-the Ubvssev Magazine
Friday. January 19.20011
Searching for the truth
by dinnn stech
uiusTRATions by HEL6I1 EflDY
5pider Robinson doesn't want
me to call his writing 'sci-fi.'
He gently reminds me that 'sci-
fi' is the 'plural of 'scum-fum,"
which, he tells me, 'refers to very
bad films made by Hollywood
and/or Canadian dentists in need of
tax shelters."
Ha ha.
In all seriousness, Robinson's
writing goes by the more elegant
name of 'science fiction,' a genre
haunted by the stereotypes that
stem from films such as Flying Dis-
cman from Mars and J Married a
Monster From Outer Space. But
modern science fiction, according
to Robinson, breaks free from the
emphasis on aliens, rayguns and
rockets, and dares to replace special
effects and bedazzling technology
with—surprise!—innovative ideas.
An award-winning author of 29
books and countless short stories,
Robinson explains his craft in simple terms. 'Science fiction is the
combination of 'science,' from the
Latin word that means 'to know,'
and 'fiction' is dreams.' Robinson
is uncharacteristically serious about
all this, adding that 'somewhere
between what we know and what we
dream is the truth." Robinson,
arguably just as popular as the TV
series The X-Files, asserts that the
"truth is out there." And he believes
that by combining the realism of
science with the imagination of the
dreamer, we may just somehow
uncover it
His search for this 'truth' did
not begin in the most orthodox of
ways. He was not abducted by
aliens, nor did he accidentally stumble across a hidden dimension.
Instead, Robinson started to write
out of boredom, with the vain hope
that women would find the image of
the starving writer attractive.
After graduating with a bachelor's degree in English from New
York State University, Robinson had
the qualifications to become either
a cab driver or a night watchman.
But he lacked the stomach and
bravado necessary to drive a cab in
New York City, so he accepted the
watchman position and received his
first assignment—to guard and protect New York City's sewer from
potential invaders.
'Basically,' Robinson recounts,
"I spent nine months watching
a hole  in the  ground to
prevent its theft."
Robinson   paus
and then continues.
"It was a slow
on, Callahan's Conch.
Of course, he can't take all the
credit for his success. His wife,
Jeanne, has been instrumental in
the writing and development of
many of his novels. The credits of
Starmind, Starseed, and Stardance
all cite Jeanne as the co-author.
Jeanne was the inspiration for
Stardance, a novel featuring the
innovative dance technique of "zero
gravity* dance. Jeanne's background as a modern dance choreographer helped create an entirely
new form of dance in the world of
the novel. After Stardance,
she was invited to
perform at
on a planet that he
calls a "bowl of
he says, is his primary way of disguising larger
issues he thinks the
reader needs to pay
attention to. His
first novel, Telem-
path, for instance,
deals with the collapse of civilization
due to a scientific
development that made peoples
sense of smell better than that of
wolves. In typical ironic fashion, he
explains how this development
leads to human downfall. The
thing about civilization,' he says, "is it
literally stinks."
He sees communication as an important way of improving
the state of affairs. One
might think that
Internet would
be one of
career    in
science    fiction writing was
growing    out    of
sheer boredom. One
night, imagining all the
places he would rather be
than staring at a hole in the
ground, Robinson began to
At the end of that night, he had a
manuscript. He called the story
Callahan's Crosstime Saloon and
sent it off to Analog magazine. He
says he figured that the prestigious
science fiction magazine would
have 'the classiest rejection slip."
He never found out, because the
magazine sent him a $400 cheque
and an invitation to lunch instead.
5' ince then, he hasn't looked
back. Winner of three Hugo
Awards and one Nebula
Award—two of science fiction's top
international honours—Robinson
has had a prolific writing career
that is recognised by his peers and
by audiences worldwide (his books
are available in ten languages). And
it's not over yet. Callahan's bar, the
setting that began it all, has
inspired numerous novels, including the one he's currently working
Science Fiction
convention, where
she was in turn asked to
participate in NASA's 'Civilian in Space Program.' She was
among 12 finalists waiting for their
chance to rocket into the cosmos,
until the Challenger disaster put an
end to the program.
The experience has not lessened
Spider's belief that artists should be
among those who are sent into
orbit "It's time," he says adamantly,
"that we send somebody to space
other than jocks or soldiers." He
argues, quite persuasively, that we
should be working towards bridging
the gaps between science and art in
order to open up new possibilities
things, but
has        some
problems   with
with the technology
itself, but rather with
the "cyber-anarchists'
whose agenda is to 'free
die information' by creating  Internet sites  where
people may download copyrighted material for free.
'They say they want information to be free,' Robinson points
out "but my information only wants
to be relatively inexpensive. Reasonably priced, not free."
This does not seem to be an
unreasonable request from the
author who lives and works on one
of the local islands, a short ferry
ride away from the mainland. He
doesn't want to reveal his exact location in order to keep pilgrims and
fans away from his home. This is
not surprising given the hours he
keeps. Robinson chooses to write at
night when "it's still, it's quiet..the
phone doesn't ring, nobody comes
to the door [and] there's nothing on
TV.' Then he typically sleeps until
late in the afternoon, grabs a cup of
coffee—his favourite brand at the
moment is New Guinea Peaberry—
and begins his work all over again.
Unexpected visitors would throw
the whole cycle off.
However, what Robinson really
wants to hide from visitors are his
clothes. The great thing, he says,
about being a writer, is you can
wear whatever you want to work. Or
nothing at all.
"I haven't worn a necktie in so
long,' he says, "I've forgotten the
horror.' He tells me over the
phone, he is wearing a pair of
baggy pants with elastics on the bottoms ('to keep them from rolling
up') a shirt with countless pockets
in it (because he's always losing
things), a turtleneck ("because it's
cold"), slippers, and his trademark
glasses that are "as thick as computer monitor screens."
Robinson recently ventured out
of writing to attempt something
new—music. Belaboring the Obvious is a compilation of four songs
and two readings put together and
released by Jeanne and Spider. The
CD fulfilled Spider's lifelong dream
of becoming a musician, which was
shattered in his youth when folk
music was supplanted by disco.
If his shift from writer to musician is successful, Robinson may be
closer to bridging the gap between
the artistic disciplines. Of course, if
his vision is to be complete, he's
got to unite the sciences and the
arts—perhaps an impossible task.
But if his optimism, energy, and
healthy brand of cynical wit have
an impact, we may witness new
genres emerging in the future.
Maybe blackhole symphonies,
lunar poetry, and atomic paintings
will be the art of the cosmos. And
maybe then our world will be nearer to combining our dreams and
fictions with the observable universe around us. ♦
l&Sisi^iim; forsale? Because I'm not sure
|j||>uC&jn^ketpotential.  ;7Y.'.
JjYjtt*sY belaboring; the obvious to say that
gj'JI^^v-loyfeiiS::pretty good,* as Spider
| j^jnsoii.''attests', in the title: song for his new
flSli^t^YaJsOvfeeJalbOjSng: the. obvious, to say that
I^H^ssf "^cutes; ojpthatsongs: about drunk-
|||i[||r|^res''are:..Iaane.:: Or that.blues is pretty
much a played-out form of music, suitable only
as background noise in bars occupied by aging
alcoholic hippies..
It's belaboring the obvious to say that sci-fi
writers are usually quirky (read; weird), and
that their humour doesn't often translate into
funny for the rest of us, or that their ability to
spin a good yarn doesn't make them a safe bet
as a songwriter—witness Robinson's song,
'Leather Zippo Holster,* which contains the
lines:. 'I saw that Ford Fairlane movie on the
tehy yesterday/Ol" Andrew was a-slidn and a-
: diem' up the Clay.* •
: The movie: Ford Fairlane was an unmen-
tionnable tragedy ten years ago when it first
came out Andrew Dice Clay, the movie's fitting protagonist, is a. crass, sexist motherfucker (for lack of a better word), whose fame is
largely based on his rude, schoolyard manipulations of nursery rhymes. Do they not have a
decent video store where Robinson lives?
If s belaboring the obvious to say that an
album is third-rate if between every song you
include a reading from your latest fantasy
novel, but the readings only sum up to the
grand total of one chapter.
Fortunately, it's also belaboring the obvious
to say that a CD's quality is largely dependant
on what the musician/writer is actually trying
to get across, if anything, through the album.
So, if Spider Robinson released this CD just
for the hell of it, because he could, and because
he likes the sound of his own voice, and
because it was fun to hear his friend Tom
Cokolough jam on his clarinet and because
the songs have sentimental value for him and
all his crazy friends, then the mish-mash that is
Belaboring the Obvious, the blues album, is
pretty dam good. But thafsnbt so obvious ;
from listening to it ♦
-Tom Peacock 1 Friday. January 19.2001
Page Fridav-the Ubyssev Magazine
httpy/vvvvw.v\rtiist{er43fackcc)mb.corn/students I
Available exclusively for university and college students. Visit www.whistler-blackcomb.com/students
and get up here.
Coupon and valid      \
s'tudent ID required.
Some restrictions WhiStler backcomb
^^p y" www.whistler-blackcomb.com
T^    t- •. *
1-2-3 BREATHE: Ubyssey swimmers will be up against the toughest competition in the West at the
Canada West Championships in the UBC pool this weekend, tara westover/ubyssey file photo
Pool battle awaits Birds
by Ronald Nurwisah
The UBC varsity swim team has won
the Canada West championships for
the last couple of years. This weekend, the Thunderbirds' dominance
in the pool will be tested once again
when they hit the pool against six
other schools in the Canada West
meet at the UBC Aquatic Centre.
Both the men and the women
look good going into the event
'Obviously we want to win both
sides of the meet* UBC head coach
Tom Johnson said.
'We've been able to do that pretty much at will over the last couple
of years and eveiy year's different
This is an interesting year in the
sense that we've had quite a long
break after the Olympics and different kids are in different stages of
their preparation, and I think
they're looking forward to hosting
the meet' he continued, noting that
the lead-up to the meet has been
slightly different this year.
'By this time we've normally
done four or five meets—this will be
just our second meet'
Johnson sees the University of
Calgary as the main threat But 18-
year-old rookie Brian Johns feels
that UBC has a great chance against
the Dinos.
'I think we're going to win/ he
says. 'It'll be interesting-they've got
a couple of new people there who'll
put some complications into us winning this meet, but still, I'm very
confident that we can win this."
Olympian and national champion
Rick Say will be a strong force in the
200m and 400m freestyle for Calgary.
UBC will try to counter with its own
Olympians Mark Johnston and Brian
Johns, both strong freestyle swimmers. Commonwealth Games double-
gold medallist Mark Versfeld will also
try to make an impressive showing for
Calgary will be an even tougher
opponent on the women's side of
the meet UBC's nine women will
have to work hard to come out on
top against the eighteen Calgary
When asked about what she
expects from the meet team co-captain Kelly Doody was confident "We
just want to race as fast as we can.
Calgary is going to come at us hard
with their rookies and their eighteen
'It's a whole different scene just
because we have so few girls. We
need to count on our top-end swims
and not just our nickel and dime
swims as Tom [Johnson] calls them."
Those 'top-end swims' will be
coming from different faces this
year. With Marianne Limpert no
longer eligible to swim for UBC, the
team is counting on Jessica Deglau,
who has not lost a race at the CIAU
level for two years, and newcomer
Kelly Stefanyshyn, an Olympic finalist in the backstroke. Team captains
Kelly Doody and Katie Brambley are
also experienced swimmers and
should add to UBC's depth.
The relays should prove to be the
races of the meet giving an indication of the true strengths and weaknesses of both teams. In addition to
Calgary, the Thunderbirds will also
have to look out for the University of
Victoria, which is also sending a
strong team to the Championships.
If competition between the Dinos
and the Thunderbirds heats up, how
the Vikes do at the meet may very
well decide the winner. ♦
Women's Volleyball
The UBC women's volleyball team will host the
University of Saskatchewan Huskies for two games in
War Memorial Gym this weekend. Gaines start at
6; 15pm Friday and 8pm Saturday. The Birds are in
second place behind Calgary in the Canada West and
the Huskies sit in fourth. Friday's game will be broadcast live on CiTR 10I.9FM. UBC's campus radio station.
Men's Volleyball
The UBC men's team is also hosting the Huskies this
weekend in War Memorial Gym. Games start as 8pm
Friday and 6:15pm on Saturday. The Birds struggled
through two losses in Edmonton last weekend against
the University of Alberta, and are looking to improve
their 7-8 record against the 9-5 Huskies. UBC is in
fourth place in the Canada West behind the Huskies.
Men's Basketball
The UBC men's basketball team is travelling to
Manitoba this weekend to face the 9-5 Bisons, the second-place team in the Great Plains Conference of the
CIAU. The Birds are currently in fourth place in the
Canada West with their 6-8 record.
Women's Basketball
The UBC women are also travelling to Manitoba this
weekend to face the Bisons, The Birds' starting; point
guard, Charmene Adams is out with a sprained ankle,
so the fourth-place 8-6 UBC team will look to pull off
two wins with the remaining nine players oa the
team. The 10-3 Bisons are in second place in the Great
Plains Conference of the CLAU.
Men's Hockey
The UBC hockey Birds will head to Edmonton to face
the nationally first-ranked University of Alberta
Golden Bears. The 4-12 Birds, coming off two wins
last weekend against the University of Lethbridge
Pronghorns, should have a tough time against the 15-
1 defending national champion Bears. ♦ Page Fridav-the Ubyssev Magazine
Friday. January 19,20011
Kelly sure ain't slow
She's only 18 but she's already been to the Olympics
by Ronald Nurwisah
The Sydney International Aquatic Centre
was filled to capacity with 17,000 of the
loudest fans Kelly Stefanyshyn had ever
heard. But the young Canadian Olympian
wasn't nervous at all. When the officials
announced her name over the loudspeakers, she waved politely to the crowd, slipped
into the water and gripped the starting block
for the final of the women's 200m backstroke.
Just under two minutes and 15 seconds
later, Stefanyshyn's moment in the Olympic
spotlight was over. She placed eighth in that
final but wasn't disappointed with the
"I was just off my best time, I would've
liked to have made my best time. But I made
the final of the 200m backstroke and that
was a huge goal of mine.'
Just making it to the Olympics in the first
place was a goal realised. After countless
practices, thousands of laps, after eight
years of non-stop training, she'd finally
made it
Stefanyshyn remembers watching the
Barcelona Olympics in 1992 and being
'I was watching the swimming and all of
a sudden I just thought, 'that looks awesome,
I'd love to do that' And I signed up for a
swim club right after," said the Winnipeg
As she looks back at the Olympics,
Stefanyshyn still seems a little bit shocked that
it happened to her. 'It was amazing, probably
the best experience of my life.
'Ever since I was young I always wanted to
go and ever since I started swimming, it's
always been in the back of my mind," she
Stefanyshyn has just started her first term
at UBC in the faculty of Human Kinetics, but
even though the 18-year-old is new to university life, she's no stranger to the life of a swimmer on Point Grey.
Long before the Sydney games, it was clear
that Stefanyshyn had plenty of talent in the
pool. By 1996, just four years after she started
swimming competitively, she took gold at the
junior national championships. The next year
she won three medals at a World Cup meet in
But by then it was clear to Stefanyshyn that
Winnipeg had neither the facilities nor the
resources for the training necessary to compete on the international circuit
So two years ago, Stefanyshyn moved to
Vancouver, along with her mother and her
younger sister.
'Swimming-wise it was a great move, prob-
GOLD MEDAL GRIN: Olympic finalist Kelly Stefanyshyn is in her first month of school at UBC. refqa abu remaileh photo
ably the best move ever. But initially it was
tough. I was only 16, and moving here with
my mom and my sister was hard/ she said.
The move was made harder by the fact that
her father and brother stayed behind in
Winnipeg. 'It's tough having a tight family
then separating like that' she explained.
The family was reunited, at least temporarily, when Stefanyshyn returned to Winnipeg
for the 1999 Pan-Am Games.
'To be able to swim in something like that in
your hometown is just unbelievable," she said.
'That motivated me. Some people would've
thought that there was a lot of pressure but I
didn't feel any. I had already done all the hard
work and so I was racing for me," she said.
The Pan-Am meet ended up being her best
ever, as she set Canadian records in the 100m
and 200m backstroke and netted three
medals: a gold, a silver and a bronze.
Then it was back to Vancouver. For the past
two years, Stefanyshyn has trained with the
Pacific Dolphins, UBC's sister club. Earlier
this month, she started classes at UBC and is
now a member of the Thunderbirds swim
team. Since she already knew both head coach
Tom Johnson and most of the UBC team, the
transition to the varsity squad wasn't all
that rough.
'I was around here when UBC won the
CIAUs the last two years in a row. So I've been
around them and I've seen the trophies and
the pictures. I'm excited to see what we can do
this year," she said.
Her arrival at UBC couldn't be better timed.
Two-time Olympian Marianne Limpert one of
the key swimmers on the UBC team in past
years, is no longer eligible to swim at the university level, so Stefanyshyn fills a crucial void
on a UBC team that suffers from a shortage of
female swimmers.
Johnson is confident that she'll fit right in
on the team. 'She can swim the butterfly; she
can swim the freestyle; she can swim the IM;
and she can swim the backstroke; she's a very
versatile addition to our program,' he
UBC is set to defend its Canada West titles
starting tonight at the Aquatic Centre. And
despite the Olympic excitement of just a few
months ago, Stefanyshyn is eager to start racing again.
After the Olympics she spent six weeks out
of the pool in Winnipeg,
'I had to struggle with that a bit at the
beginning of the year, with the post-Olympics
'what now' kind of scenario," she said.
"For the first time in my life I actually took
a break where I wasn't swimming, wasn't
going to school and wasn't working. My
biggest worry was what to do each day, when
to get up. And it was nice to have that option,"
she added.
But now her life is back to its usual routine.
After the Canada West meet this weekend,
Stefanyshyn and two other swimmers from
UBC will head to Europe for two World Cup
meets. Then she and the rest of the
Thunderbirds will be training hard for the
CIAU championships in late February.
Stefanyshyn doesn't seem to mind this heavy
'I'm not taking a full load in school so I
have enough time to balance my school life
with my swim life, and then the social life just
comes, and I guess you just divide that with
sleep time. I get it all done.and I don't feel like
I'm missing out on anything," she explained.
Stefanyshyn has goals beyond this year for
her swimming, goals that include at least one
more Olympic appearance.
"There's technical aspects of my swimming
that I can always work on, like my starts and
my turns...and hopefully as I get older I'll get
stronger," she said of her future plans.
The 2004 Olympics are a long way off, but by
then, Stefanyshyn will be more experienced,
wiser and stronger. And if she wasn't nervous as
a first-time Olympian in Sydney, there's no
telling how well she'll do in Athens. ♦
Helping save lives
Captain Bruno Castonguay coordinates air rescue for the Canadian
Forces. He and his colleagues and partners help Canadians in danger.
They respond around the clock to emergencies on land or at sea and
help save lives. This is just one of the hundreds of services provided
by the Government of Canada.
For more information on government services:
• Visit the Service Canada Access Centre nearest you
• Visit www.canada.gc.ca
• Call 1 800 O-Canada (1 800 622-6232)
TTY/TDD: 1 800 465-7735 CaXiadS
7 I Friday. January 19.2001
Page Friday-the Ubyssey Magazine
Friday. January 19.20Q11
Celebrate Year of the Snake at
y~ January 24 - 26
FREE Fortune Cookie & Chinese Tea with all Specials^
Wed.        Baked Chicken Leg
Thurs.      Deep Fried Prawn
Fri. Lemon Chicken
YUM YUM's Chinese Fast Food
Lower level Old Auditorium, Ph: 822-2569
00am - 2:15qm / Lunch Served -11:00am -1:30pm
Solva real problems in real time!
Aged 18-28?
Spend 6-10 intense weeks with an inspiring team in remote
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BC Application Deadline: Feb. 26
4 16.504.3370
»'»»" '   9 V    1
y     Joyce       Rosario
at the Vancouver East Cultural Centre
Jan. 11
The semantic implications of the word "choice" elicit tempered argument Using the word 'choice* in conjunction with the word 'abortion,'
leads us to find oursleves in the lion's den ripping each other apart over
the fine lines of right and wrong and their intersection over personal freedom.
Women's bodies have always been at the forefront of debate over personal rights. While the debate may begin with the right to have an abortion, discussion soon evolves into issues of hierarchy, power dynamics
and social structures that pose barriers to women's freedom.
Vancouver's 7th annual Rock For Choice is a benefit that began in
support of women's right to have safe, legal abortions. All proceeds have
been split between Eveiywoman's Health Clinic, The Elizabeth Bagshaw
Clinic, and the Pro-choice Action Network.
This year's event included a night of documentary and experimental
video, a night of spoken word performance—Choice Words Cabaret-and
two nights of music including performances by Veda Hille, Bif Naked,
Sook-Yin Lee, Che: Chapter 12 7, and Propagandhi.
While the purpose of Choice Words Cabaret was to 'entertain the masses and celebrate choice as a complicated issue," the night was definitely a
dive into the deep end of political discourse. The performers and their
modes of expression were as diverse as the points of view expressed.
Women of all persuasions, ages, races and sexual orientation were present both on and off the stage.
The only weak point of the evening was that the night in its entirety
spanned five hours with no intermission. While the audience was welcome to get up at any time to walk around and peruse the information
tables in the lobby, it may have helped to include a time schedule of the
more than 15 performances.
The night featured: Farrell Spence, co-founder of the all-female comedy troupe 30 Helens; 'traditional" spoken word by Cass King, Abby
Wener and Fiona Tyler; poetry and prose by The Public I; performances
by Sarah Hunt and Morgan Brayton; music by Mary Sue Bell, and The
Rhythm and Rhyme Round.
Highlights included a piece by the reluctant host T.L. Cowan; she wore
a t-shirt with a coat hanger with a slash through it and her piece was about
her experience as a young girl being at a rally and seeing this image for
the first time. Sister Spits Ramblin Road Show with members hailing from
all over the west coast, was intense. Some members made the crowd
laugh to tears. Nomy Lam, however, with her incredible voice and moving presence was jaw-dropping and had the audience in silent awe.
By the end of the show, 1 was filled with an overwhelming sense of sisterhood. It was definitely a night of solidarity. We may not always agree
on the choices we make, but I'd be damned if I ever let anyone hurt my
sisters, if I ever let anyone take away their freedom. ♦
Holloai /s empty     Journey into the unknown
i   a   n    a
by       A    1 i    c i
M    i 1 1   e   r
at the Jericho Arts Centre .     7 7 7
no shows remaining
The Hollow Crown, a play about the kings
and queens of England showing at- the
Jericho Arts Centre,-was aptly named,-The
,actorS certainly managed to produce a spec-
tacle that was hollow and empty at its core.
I/nfortunately, this hollowness waa not an
intentional part of the performance. Despite
some humorous moments over the course
of the 90 minute production, the acting was
virtually non-existent, the actors' movements, were limited, and the reading was
of\en choppy and uneven,    ,
The. concept of The Hollow Crown,
devised by John Barton of the Royal
Shakespeare Company, should have been
interesting. Combining letters^- speeches,
poems, songs, and music both by and about
the kings and queens of England, Barton's
attempt was to reveal the kings and Queens
as they really were-passionate, strong,
weak, and most importantly, human. Rather
than the cold fjjtcts and figures of the history
books,- The Hollow Crown tried to reveal an
aspect of the powerful through texts written
by and about them. Tried. Just as the mon-
archs broke promises to their peopIe<,this
promising concept dimmed to a lump of
coal with its fire burnt out
The first problem was the physical presentation of the actorsl Four actors-three
men and one woman—appeared amidst the
noise of applause and the dropping of the
lights. Expectations were high as these four
assumed regal stance. Then, the impression
of greatness was destroyed as each" actor
opened a black binder that contained their
lines. But they were just real people who ha4
not yet been able to memorise their lines. It
was like watching a dress rehearsal rather
than a completed performance. 7 ■
However, to their credit, the lengthy play
did demand an impossible level of memory
and. therefore perhaps the use of these
binders..was necessary. However, could
director James Gill have thought up a more
monarchy-befitting text than, a black binder?
Added to the anachronism of the black
binder was the costaming.of the actors. The
men were clad in very unking-like tuxedoes,'
In fact, combined with the black binders that
they cupped in front of them, they gave the
impression that they were the three tenors
rather than the historical figures they were,
supposed to portraying: Henry VIII, Edward
III, ahd Charles II. Deborah Spitz, tiie sole
woman in the past, was more plainly clad in
a burgundy velvet dress and a black shawl,.
At least her outfit allowed the imagination to-
take over, and did not dredge up associations with Pavarotti, Domingo, or Carreras.
-.   ' And then, there was the acting.- It certainly wasn't acting in any. conventional
sense of.the word, and the only actor truly
. able to pull it off was Deborah Spitz. In her
, roles ranging from 1S year-old Jane Austen
- (writing about "The History of England by
' a   Partial;   Prejudiced,   and   Ignorant
Historian" \ to Anne Boleyn (writing to her
• husband Henry just before her execution),
Spitz managed to convey a sense of who
these people really were. She adopted dif-.
ferent reading styles and voices to immediately welcome the audience into her illusion.' tier fece, particularly her eyes, communicated • her; character exceptionally
well. Despite the sparse costuming^ Spitz
was able to summon her acting talent and'
take the audience past the black binder and
evoke the monarchy.
Simon Fpthergill and Marcus Mendes, on ,
— the other hand, displayed weak performances, rarely expressing themselves physically,
remaining rooted in spot, and employing a
similar monotone-reading style throughout
the play. Although tyfeiides has an exceptional voice—deep and resonant—his diction
tended to be choppy which suggested that he
didn't truly understand the meaning of the
words.       - *      '
But David Abbott was a slight improvement on the other two men. Particularly in
his role as Horace Walpole, who recounts the
burial of George, II, Abbott captured the
, sense of movement anc£ humor lacking hi
the performances of Fothergill and Mendes.
Of course, perhaps like Jane Austen's
off-take of English history, by ax 'Partial,
Prejudiced, and Ignorant Historian,* niy crit-
ITfcism of this play only reveals my ignorance.
_Not haying an extensive knowledge of each of
- the monarchs depicted in the performance
may have interfered with the enjoyment that
one audience member apparently felt when
he yelled out 'Bravo* at the end of the per-
. formance. However, the partial, prejudiced,
and ignorant play reviewer cannot help but
feel that the script had potential. For those ■
who could see beyond.tne black binders, penguin suits, and monotone voices, perhaps it
-, could have bgen a masterpiece. However, for
, those of us not steeped in the history of the
English, monarchy and who. expect memo-;
rised lines* and imaginative costumes, this
play is probably best, avoided.'•>."  ,   '/. 7 7
at the Roundhouse Performance Centre
until Jan. 21
The first word spoken in Being Inside begins a son's confusing journey as he struggles to come to grips with losing his father to the depths
of dementia. The play is an autobiographical account of its writer,
director, and star Joe Baker, as well as of other families from
Vancouver, Delta, and Surrey dealing with the disease,
Now under 24-hour care at the Delta View Hospital, Baker's father
suffers from Diffuse Lewey Body, a type of dementia with symptoms
similar to Alzheimer and Parkinson's diseases. Baker first became
aware of his father's illness at the age of 15 and later came to write
about the experience in a poem. Developing the poem into a play
became Baker's senior thesis project at Evergreen State College in
Olympia, Washington.
The play evolved into a 'multimedia environmental theatre piece'
which uses definitions, statistics, dance, taped interviews, photographs, visual patterns, music, and monologues to explore and promote an awareness of dementia and those it affects, including not only
the sufferers of this disease, but also their family members and caregivers. The Vancouver production, sponsored in part by the Alzheimer
Society of BC and the Canadian Mental Health Association, is the
launch point for a tour that will take the original
cast back to the States for runs in Seattle, Olympia,
and Portland.
Alternating clarity with obscure symbolism,
the structure of the play is a metaphor for the
journey which Baker, now just 24 years old,
undergoes and the fragmented memories with
which he grapples. The production features an
original score which entwines ethereal electronic
sounds with keyboard and voice, and a small cast
of young, talented performers. In true Brechtian
style, the musician, composer, and soundboard
technician. West, is visible to the audience, and
the wing-less set takes up not only the broad
expanse of the so-called 'stage* but also the space of the audience,
thereby violating the traditional division between actor and audienc
The best and most daring aspect of the play is that it refutes objectivity and instead opts to be deeply involved and deeply personal. The
photographs displayed are of Baker, his father, and his family; the stories are of his remembrance; and the emotions continue to spring
from his soul. Baker fearlessly explores his own selfishness, the
decline of his father's great mind, his guilt over putting his father in
a home, memories from his childhood, and, above all, his apprecia-
YO! YO! YOI Rhythm and Rhyme Round performed at the Choice Words
Cabaret, part of last week's Rock for Choice concert, joyce rosario photo
tion of the man his father was. Each performance is an immersion in
the struggle and the suffering that is part of his journey and
everyday life.
This approach makes it impossible for the audience to turn away
from the play and its subject matter. Instead of catharsis, what is
achieved is the questioning of the self and the family, and the revelation of the fragile nature of our health. Questions asked remain unanswered, and the audience is left to ponder them, to journey into the
realm of the unknown, and to discover what it's like to
be inside. ♦
one rii/tty play
u    n
at the Vancouver Playhouse
until Feb. 3
Wit, a Pulitzer Prize-winning show by Margaret Edson, is an account of
the life of Vivian Bearing, a university professor who specialises in the
poems of John Donne. Bearing discovers that she has advanced ovarian cancer, and the play explores the events of her final days. Wit is a
moving, thoughtful, and funny examination of life through the eyes of
someone who must soon leave it all behind.
The show begins long before the characters are introduced. As we
sit and wait for the curtain call, we are faced with the cold, barren walls
of a hospital set Dull white lights shine down on the stage and an intercom hums softly in the background. The occasional siren can be heard.
Some audience members shift uneasily.
As the show begins, Bearing enters toting her IV unceremoniously
on a long metal stand. Bearing is played by veteran actress Seana
Mckenna, and despite some smallhitches early on, her performance is
excellent. Mckenna's first monologue lacks emotion and she has difficulty with a transition into the child version of herself. However, once
she settles in, Mckenna is sharp and dry with little sentimentality and
a strong sarcastic streak. Also, she never expresses sorrow for her character's plight, preventing the audience from dwelhng on ]$ty. This
quality is essential in turning Bearing's journey from a tragedy into
a triumph.
Soon the show picks up the pace. The swift blending of scene changes
and the simple set help the audience to ease out of the intense feelings
induced by many of the scenes. Characters come flying in from the
wings, creating scenes and flashbacks from Bearing's monologues. And
the brisk pace helps to keep me involved right until the end.
The supporting cast was very strong. Jim Mezon is convincing as Dr.
Kelekian with a good, dry delivery with a believable relationship with
Bearing. Unfortunately, Alex Poch-Goldin, who plays Kelekian's young
research assistant is not so believable. Poch-Goldin goes over the top
with his portrayal of the ambitious Posner. I would have enjoyed a more
sensitive performance from him. However, opposite Posner is Kristen
Williamson in the role of Suzy Mohahan, a nurse who tend3 to Bearing
throughout the show. Williamson displays the right blend of compassion and believability to make her character effective. Anchoring the
supporting cast is Joy CoghilL who does an excellent job as the heartwarming and genuine professor E.M Ashford. :
The ending of the script, however, was overly dramatic, unrealistic
and unnecessary. It reminded me'too much of ER and broke the tension of Bearing's last moments. However, Edson's final scene succeeds
in reclaiming the dignity and serenity of the show.
■ Woven into the script were allusions to the poetry of John Donne.
Donne created amazingly complex and challenging poetry, rife with
paradox, metaphor, irony, and pirns—elements of 17th century wit In
one scene, a student of Bearing's comments that Donne may have convoluted his poems with endless wit simply because he was afraid of the
truth. As we explored Bearing's life, this became a strong parallel. It
was only near the end, when Bearing discards of her complicated academic ideas for simple human compassion, that she finds real meaning in her life.
Wit deals with cancer very honestly. It does not glorify or exploit the
intense nature of the disease but instead shows it truthfully—not shying away from the devastation that cancer can cause or the absurdity
of some of its treatments. Edson allows us to see the humour of
Bearing's predicament without taking away from the seriousness of
her disease. Ultimately, Bearing's struggle with death becomes
a triumph. •> 81
Friday. January 19.2001
Page Fridav-the Ubvssev Magazine
Come lo SUB Room 245 with
Ihe answer lo Ihe question
below, and you may win 1 of 3
COLD prize packs!
Question: What band are COLD opening
for on Jan.25 @ The Croatian Cultural Centre?
Heavy... reflective... moody... melodic rock. "Hoods down, one of the coolest bonds to hit the 'heavy rock' scene to dote."
.    Garnering rave reviews on the rood with limp Bizkit, Jerry Contrell, Soulfly ond the Tottoo The torch Tour...
COLD ore reody to rock Vancouver - IN CONCCftT Jan.SSth at the Croatian Cultural Centre. Website: UHUW.coldonlinc.com
Wickedly Entertaining:
Daily Mail
'      I      l     M     •
nniissvi    SCREEN GEMS
3ony.com/snatcli IN THEATRES SOON
New wine library for UBC
by Alex Dimson
While most students look for books
in libraries, those who venture into
the Faculty of Agricultural Science's
new library in September may be
surprised at what they find—row
after row of wine bottles.
One of only a few in the world,
the proposed library is the idea of
Hennie van Vuuren, the head of the
on-campus BC Wine Research Centre
'I have little doubt in my mind that
this will be a huge success," van
Vuuren said.
Construction on the library,
which is to be located in the basement of the Food and Nutritional
Sciences Building, is scheduled to
begin within the next two months
with an'expected completion date in
Fundraising for the estimated
$500,000 project is still ongoing,
but van Vuuren, who has been targeting the wine industiy, says he has
'no doubt" that he will get the
required funds.
Van Vuuren said that the library
will allow him and his graduate students to test the effects of aging on
BC wines.
"The wine industiy is relatively
young in BC compared to the industries all over the world. One of the
things we know very little about is
the ability of the wines to age well,"
he said. "What we need for that is a
facility that is temperature controlled and humidity-controlled to
study the wine."
Van Vuuren, who came to UBC at
the end of 1999 , is currently solcit-
ing bottles of wine from BC wineries
for the library, which should have
the capacity to store 30,000 bottles.
He is also asking the public to
donate vintage international wines
for a tax refund, so the researchers
can chemically compare BC's wines
to distinguished international
After he has received the wines,
van Vuuren and his team will chemically test which wines could have
the potential to age. He will then ask
the wineries to donate 24 bottles of
each selected wine to the library.
At the end of each year, van
Vuuren and a board of directors
made up of members of the wine
industry, will chemically test, as well
as taste, a bottle of each selected
wine to follow the process of its
While the idea may raise a few
eyebrows, van Vuuren said that it is
all in the name of science.
"What we then want to do is be
able to correlate the ability of these
wines to age or not to age with the
technology and viticultural practices
in the Okanagan Valley," he said,
explaining that the BC wine industiy
will then be able to determine how
best to improve its wine-making
Hans Buchler, the chair of the BC
Wine Institute's research and development committee, agreed that the
library could help to improve the
quality of BC wine.
"It's probably not something that
is indispensable but I could see
future benefits in it," he said. "It will
give [the wine industry] a benchmark in the future to chart the
progress of the wine industry."
Michael Welch, president of the
BC Independent Grapegrowers'
Association, acknowledged the
library's potential benefits, but
noted that only BC's major wineries
will be able to afford to donate the
required wines, and that many of
BC's wines are not designed to age.
But Moura Quayle, UBC's dean of
agricultural sciences, said that the
wine library, as well as van Vuuren's
WRC, is an extension of her faculty's
commitment to applied science.
Quayle added that the library
is important to van Vuuren's
"The wine library is a source of
material to work with...For me landscape is my laboratory because I'm
a landscape architect For somebody
like Hennie, he needs to have materials to work with to analyse, to
track, to look at" ♦
Fourth forum draws few
by Sarah Morrison
It was difficult to Slid a seat in the
SUB conversation pit at 12:30 on
Tuesday—that is, until the' Alma
Mater Society (AMS) elections all-
candidates forum began.
Scheduled for two hours, the
forum lasted a mere 45 minutes,
with many students leaving the area
as soon as the forum got underway.
Appropriately for this lacklustre
campaign, student apathy was a hot
topic at the forum.
"The significant difference
between Students For Students and
the other slates is our commitment
to [fighting] apathy and making sure
students get involved around campus/ said Students for Students
presidential candidate Erfan
Kazemi pointed to events the AMS
executive has undertaken in the past
year—including First Week and Mini-
School—to combat student apathy.
Kazemi is the current vice-president of academic and university
But Students' Voice presidential
candidate Rob Nagai said that the
AMS Executive should focus on
issues beyond student apathy.
"I don't think we should be kidding ourselves and saying everything's great because we're doing
things like First Week and Mini-
School," he said.
Other students expressed concern about the lack of success the
AMS has had in negotiating for the
U-Pass, a proposed mandatory student bus pass. One student asked
the candidates for the vice-president
external position how they would
address the transit situation.
'I'm not going to push through
something that's been pressured by
commuter students," said Students
for Students candidate Kristen
Harvey. "There is no way that
Students for Students would push
through something that wouldn't
benefit the majority of students."
Students' Voice candidate Katie
Riecken said she would like to see a
fair U-Pass proposal implemented
"We've been working on this
thing for three years, and I don't
think we've been negotiating properly," Riecken said.
Independent candidate Zahra
Abdalla, meanwhile, said that once
a viable proposal for the U-Pass is
brought before Council, she would
support a referendum, "so students
get to choose whether they want it or
Another student was angiy about
the AMS's health and dental plan's
inflexible opt-out rules.
But Nagai supported the health
plan mandatory status, saying that
'to make the plan accessible to all, it
has to be mandatory for all." ♦ Page Fridav-the Ubvssev Magazine
Friday. January 19. 20001Q
Repetitive strain injuries on the rise at UBC
by Julia Christensen
The increased use of computer keyboards and heavier course workloads are cited as two factors leading
to a growing trend in disabling hand
injuries among UBC students.
Hand and wrist pain from ailments such as carpal tunnel syndrome, tendonitis, and other repetitive strain injuries are increasing in
number, according to officials at the
UBC Disability Resource Centre
"There's been a pretty significant
increase in students coming to the
Disability Resource Centre needing
help because of work-related hand
injuries," said DRC Director Janet
Lindsey Richardson, a fifth-year
Arts student suffers from chronic
tendonitis, making it necessary for
her to wear wrist braces when she
writes or types.
"Last March, I had four
midterms in a week and by the end
of the week my hand had seized up
to a point where I couldn't move it
anymore," Richardson said. 'I went
to see a doctor and he told me it was
tendonitis as a result of typing and
handwriting. Basically, overuse was
the major cause."
Doretta Lau, a fifth-year Arts student can relate. Lau has chronic tendonitis in both her wrists. Doctors
told her the injuries were a result of
repetitive strain from typing.
Lau's injuries are such a hindrance that she recently changed
her program at UBC—a decision that
she says was difficult to make.
"I dropped out of my English
Honours program because I couldn't physically perform the tasks necessary to complete my thesis," she
said. "I just couldn't continue...it
was too much of a struggle.'
BAD FORM: Many students are typing their way to lifelong injury, megan Johnston photo
Richardson added that her
injuries have prompted her to
reconsider career options.
"The idea of being an academic is
really not attractive to me anymore
if I'm going to have to deal with this
pain for the rest of my life. It's discouraging when you have ideas in
your head but your hands can't work
fast enough to get those ideas, on
paper," she said.
Mee said that many students do
not recognise that they are disabled
and, as a result are reluctant to
approach the DRC for help.
According to Mee, the DRC evaluates a disability based on environmental considerations—while having a wrist injury would not be a
major obstacle in some cases, it is
considered a very significant barrier
in an academic environment
"I think there are a lot of students
who don't recognise that it is a disabling condition Or when they do,
they think they wouldn't be entitled
to a lot of support because it is only
a minor disability," Mee explained.
After assessing each individual's
needs, the DRC may hire note-tak
ers, ask for copies of course notes
for students who cannot take them
on their own, hire scribes, or use
voice recognition software for
exams and assignments.
Lau said that the support she has
received from the DRC has made it
easier for her to deal with her injuries.
Mee and Richardson agree that
education in injury prevention is
needed on campus to protect the
health of students.
"Prevention is key so it is important for the university to develop a
strategy to  educate students  on
ergonomic issues,' said Mee, who
added that she hopes that increasing
awareness about repetitive strain
injuries will improve the situation
"I really think these injuries will
start to decrease in occurrence if the
university takes an active stance in
educating students on how to prevent them,' said Mee.
But according to Yvonne Lui, a
spokesperson at the University
Counsel Office, no official plan currently exists to educate students
on repetitive stress injury
prevention. ♦
GSS Elections 2001
Nomination period: Jan 22.-.Feb 5
Why run?
Win, friends ond influence people!
Free dinners with Martha Piper!
How: See the nomination brochure, available from
your grad seer, the GSS office, or the elections'
website http://www.gss.ubc.ca/elections/
The Campus Advisory Board on Student
Development (CABSD) is seeking nominations of
individuals, services and programs or departments
who make exceptional contributions or significant
improvements to student experience and the learning
environment at UBC.
Nominations from UBC students, faculty, staff and
recent graduates are welcome.
Submissions, includng a written statement and two
supporting letters, should be sent to the Office of the
Vice President, Students, Room 123, Old
Administration Building, 6328 Memorial Rd. by
Feb. 15th, 2001.
For further information, please either call 822-3955,
email Jywen@exchange.ubc.ca, or visit our website at
3rd Annual Community Contribution Award
Are you a UBC student involved at UBC?
Have you made a contribution to the UBC community?
If so, you may be eligible to receive $3,000!
Just get another UBC student to nominate you
or nominate someone you feel is eligible.
Within the nomination, please include:
Submit nominations to SUB 245 by February 28th, acoi.
For more information, contact Fernie Pereira
or Esther Abd-Elmessih at esthera@interchange.ubc.ca -I QIFriday. January 19.2001
Page Fridav-the Ubvssev Magazine
Daiiah Merzaban
Atex Dimson
Sarah Morrison
Michelle Mossop
Tom Peacock
Nicholas Bradley
Tristan Winch
Tara Westover
Holland Gidney
Graeme Worthy
Laura Blue
Ernie Beaudin
The Ubyssey is the official student newspaper of the
University of British Columbia, it is published every
Tuesday and Friday by The Ubyssey Publications Society.
We are an autonomous, democratically run student organisation, and all students are encouraged to participate.
Editorials are chosen and written by the Ubyssey staff.
They are the expressed opinion of the staff, and do not
necessarily reflect the views of The Ubyssey Publications
Society or the University of British Columbia.
The Ubyssey is a founding member of Canadian University
Press (CUP) and adheres to CUP'S guiding principles.
fii editorial content appearing in The Ubyssey is the property of The Ubyssey Publications Society. Stories, opinions, photographs and artwork contained herein cannot
be reproduced without the expressed, written permission
of The Ubyssey Publications Society.
Letters to the editor must be under 300 words. Please
include your phone number, student number and signature
(not for publication) as weH as your year and faculty with al
submissions. ID wl be checked when submissions are
dropped off at the editorial office of The Ubyssey, otherwise verification wl be done by phone.
"Perspectives" are opinion pieces oyer 300 words but
under 750 words and are run according to space.
"Freestyles' are opinion pieces written by Ubyssey staff
members. Priority wl be given to letters and perspectives
over freestyles unless the latter is time sensitive. Opinion
pieces wil not be run untl the identity of the writer has
been verified
It is agreed by al persons placing display or classified
advertising that i the Ubyssey Publications Society fails to
publish an advertisement or if an error in the ad occurs the
liability of the UPS wil not be greater than the price paid
for the ad. The UPS shal not be responsible for slight
changes or typographical errors that do not lessen the
value or the impact of the ad
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teb (604) 822-2301
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Fernie Pereira
Jennifer Copp
Shalene Takara
Alex Dimson was a lough sell. Sarah Morrison looked at him pleadingly, as Julia Christensen held the flaming hoop. Tara Westover
nudged him forward as Hywel Tuscano and Joyce Rosario catcalled
from the sidelines. A hush fell over the crowd as Tom Peacock
entered the ring on the back of a baboon, a ghetto blaster propped
up on his shoulder. Suddenly, Michelle Mossop let out a blood-curdling scream. On the opposite side of the tent Holland Gidney was
being cornered by three Qesh-hungiy tigers. Daiiah Merzaban
scrambled to climb down the trapeze while Laura Blue and Helen
Eady tried to lure the tigers away by throwing Ron Murwisah at
them. Graeme Worthy distracted the crowd from the sight of
impending disaster by blasting blue angels into the first three rows.
From the tightrope, Anna King and Megan Johnston waved bologna
at the tigers, diverting their attention while Duncan McHugh and
Nicholas Bradley threw a net over them. Dressed in star spangled
spandex. Matt Whalley shimmied into the cannon. Alicia Miller,
Diana Stech and Tristan Winch stood by while Greg Ursic and
Duncan Cameron brought out the dancing monkej-s. Chris Rullatto.
dressed in an sequuied catsuit swallowed swords near the pretzel
stand Just another day at the Ubyssey Circus.
Canada Po* SalM AgrMOMnl Numb* 0732141
[Canada Cus^o^s
Keep Alan Thicke,
give us the beach
News out of California this week is pretty dire. It
seems that the deregulation of California's
power industiy has backfired badly. So badly, in
fact, that both Edison International and the
Pacific Gas and Electric Company may be bankrupt anytime now, and, with resources allegedly
dwindling, California took the extreme measure
of shutting off power to several hundred thousand customers on Wednesday. Blah, blah,
What this really means is that BC Hydro, BC's
power provider, is being stiffed for a $300 million (Cdn.) bill. It seems that BC Hydro has been
selling the Sunshine State quite a lot of juice and
now we're not getting ANYTHING for it This
nixes a proposed $200 million rebate to BC
Hydro customers. How lame is that?
Well, the Ubyssey, nay, all of British Columbia
,will not stand for itl Here is our list of demands
for those yankee pig dog lackeys two states down.
We want some compensation! We want..
• The fat from Carnie Wilson's liposuction surgery. We're not sure if that soap thing from Fight
Club will work, but we'd like to try it anyways.
• Jerry Garcia's remains. (We're gonna turn his
skull into a bong—gnarly I)
•The 90210 zip code
• A controlling interest of "In & Out Burger."
(And no, you can't know why.)
• The rights to all four of David Hasselhoff s
albums and his swimming trunks from the last
three seasons of Baywatch (including Baywatch
Nights and Baywatch Hawaii}. The sale of these
items on e-bay to rabid German Hasselhoff fans
should cover the cost of the 'lectricity, but since
their market cost is about $30 (US) each, we will
continue the list of demands and not count our
chickens before they hatch.
• The "Y" and an "0" from the "HOLLYWOOD".
sign (No, we don't want to spell *Yo," we're being
• 500 jars of olives from the Olive Pit in Corning,
• Some decent Mexican food (and we don't mean
fish tacos)
• Sunshine and lollipops
• Brain-drain leakage: William Shatner, all them
wicked-smart engineering kids, Neil Young,
Sandra Oh, David Cronenberg, Dave Foley,
Leonard Cohen, Wayne Gretzky and future considerations.
• Johnny Depp was here back when 21 Jump
Street was still the hottest thing on TV, we'd like
him back now
• The entire city of Cupertino, CA
• Our dignity. California must pass a state law
banning the defamation of Canadians, and
British Columbians in particular; furthermore, it
must use the awesome power of Hollywood to
espouse causes that the populace of this
province decide on a biannual CBC call-in referendum
• The Golden Gate Bridge. To show that we are
not simply greedy for the sake of it, we will
replace it with the tattered remnants of our once-
proud Lion's Gate Bridge
• California Girls
• California Boys
• Some wine, and not that shit from California.
• An entire Palm Springs golf course (irrigation
system not required)
• A beach
• Some palm trees.
• A whale from Sea World (ours died).
• Mexican labourers
• Mickey Mouse's ears
• Michael Jackson's real nose
• Smog (no, wait—we already have that)
• The Ronald Reagan Library (the only libraiy in
the world where the 'I forgot to renew them"
excuse actually works!)
• Okay, so maybe we want some fish tacos
• Dreamin' ♦
Arts students
receive "best and
most relevant
I want to laud Colleen Carey for her
honest and articulate essay ("The
Value of Arts,* Letters (Jan. 16]):
good on yal My response to her
point of view rides on several tangents, not just agreement with her
point of view, but I'm also keen on
pontificating on what constitutes a
useful education.
Tangent #1: In a world whose
parametres are changing ever-so-
rapidly, given scientific discovery,
technological advancements, and a
society and environment which is
just barely keeping up (if at all), the
emergent leaders will be interdisciplinary thinkers, capable of understanding and considering a myriad
of concerns and integrating these
into their complex decisions. This
doesn't mean that the bell is ringing
for focused experts; indeed they are
still necessary, but as a society we
need more than mere technocrats to
make the decisions on crucial issues.
Tangent #2: After having spent
four years at UBC and known people from a fairly wide cross-section
of disciplines, I'm confident that
Arts students get the best and most
relevant education (yes I'm generalising). Arts students typically have
small class sizes in senior years,
professors who by and large care a
little more, and classes which are
perhaps concerned less with well-
defined "learning objectives" than
with providing an opportunity for
students to formulate and defend
their own opinions by synthesising
information and other points of
view. While the career prospects are
not as clearly defined as those for,
say, a civil engineer or a computer
scientist, these skills are more long-
lasting than soon-obsolete technical
skills and may better equip the student to learn new things afterwards:
the real aim of undergraduate education.
Tangent #3: By comparison, the
quality of education for UBC engineering students, in spite of more
certain job prospects after graduation, leaves much to be desired.
Make no bones: with the exception
of perhaps the mining department
one gets the feeling that at the under-
grad level one is perceived more as
an income source—a commodity—to
balance the books than a student
Small class sizes (40 or less) at the
senior levels are practically unheard
of, especially in the largest four
departments. The curricula by and
large are not developed to create the
same types of real world thinkers
that graduate with Arts degrees;.
instead, one receives cookie-cutter
skill sets as defined by industiy, the
Professional Association and academic curriculum advisors. Think of
any hand-cranked machine: pasta-
maker, meat grinder—this is an
evocative way to represent engineering schooL
All of my friends in Arts programs are enthusiastic about their
learning. Unfortunately I can't say
the same for my friends in
Just in case you're wondering
whether I've forgotten about other
faculties and schools, I just wanted
to discuss what I perceive as the
two extremes, especially with the
sense of antipathy that I see in
many Engineering students and in
student publications against (the
ignorant stereotype of) Arts students.
-Ian Randall,
Engineering 3 Page Fridav-the Ubvssev Magazine
A master of his  craft
Friday. January 19.20011
Jan. 16
Ted Joans is a man who has stood
outside the houses of many famous
men. He listened to Duke Ellington
play the piano in Harlem and
gripped the great steel gate in front
of Picasso's home—simple moments
in the life of a man who has had
geniuses drift through his life as seconds tick through time. Andre
Breton and Langston Hughes did not
receive a knock on their doors when
he visited their homes. He explained
in between poems that it's best just
to let people alone.
"You don't need to bother these
people," the old gray beard declared,
but Bukowski's was filled with people there to bother Joans and try to
make him tell his story; maybe gain
a grasp of what it's like to put
thought into words and words into
"You're here to Fuck me, aren't
you?' a drunken Bukowski used to
slur. Ted Joans didn't take such a
harsh view of reading his poetry. He
was more like a time-weathered
man that had made his go of it and
now wanted to tell some stories and
give the listener something to think
He muttered about a friend he
had once known named Jack. While
hearing Joans speak about Jack "He
ain't White or Black' Kerouac,
'October in the Railroad Earth' rose
to mind.
"The Negro, the essential
American, out there, finding his solace, his meaning in the fellaheen
. Stories of Harlem and those fellaheen streets are still fresh in Joans'
poems, written as early as the
Forties. Greatly influenced by
Langston Hughes, a major player in
the Harlem Renaissance, Joans is
deemed a Beat or Jazz poet
Though he spent most of his time
in New York, he mocked the poets of
Greenwich Village, telling of the
days of the Beat Generation when
poets would stand up and reassure
the audience that they
had a short poem while holding
several pages.
Joans' stage presence gives him a
sage-like quality that only the wisdom
of having been there or having done
something of significance can give
you. William Burroughs said that he
didn't write anything worth reading
until he was over 40, and maybe
that's what it takes to write good poetry or prose. Ted Joans certainly wrote
before he was forty but it sounded so
correct coming from a wise old man.
Perhaps it was because his younger
writings are of a time that only an
idea of can be constructed in the
minds of people today.
He spoke about old Harlem, a
Harlem of restaurants and jazz
clubs-Sugar Ray Robinson's
restaurant or maybe where old
Charlie Parker used to jam or
score. Joans took on the stereotypical role that Eldridge Cleaver
described as the Body, the intensely masculine Black Man who is in
contrast with the Mind or the weak
White Man.
He shouted out against the suffering of the poor at Christmas time,
not being able to provide for their
children what advertising demands.
by Matt Whaliey
In 'Santa Claws" he denounced
Santa, saying "If that white mother
hubbard comes down my black
chimney...He and Me show gonna
have a battling Xmas and it show
ain't gonna be white'. Joans'
denouncement of Santa brought a
flood of laughter.
A handful of dread-locked hippies mixed with the middle-aged
and young, alternative crowd. It was
standing room only at about quarter
to nine with the show starting at
nine-thirty. Joans declared at the
end of the reading that he always
starts on time and always finishes
on time, deflecting any chance of an
encore. Like little kids asking for just
one more story before bedtime a
middle-age man whined, 'come-on
it's just one more.' But it wasn't to
be. Joans slipped off his stool and
went and sat down in the corner of
the room.
No sooner had he stopped, than
men from the audience surrounded
him like vultures on carrion.
After Ted Joans read, the mike
was free for people to go up and read
their poems. Silly as it seems, a local
'poet' followed directly after Joans,
shining the light on what good and
bad poetry is. After Joans' reading
that was full of rhythm and originality, it was shocking that an intermission didn't follow immediately.
The poet that bravely took the
stage was shown to possess pale,
parroting verse. It was unintentionally, sadly imitative of a style of poetry that was meant to mock the Beat
Generation. Joans did his job and
clapped, encouraging the poet, but it
was all too clear which poet had
truly honed their craft ♦
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vide stunning vistas, | such .
as  theYMpyielding \ mict-Y
bake«J Yi plains,   bleached
white; saltYfJats, never-ending. saKcyj^nes and deep-Y
blue    ;'skies      scattered
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desert often serves asYthe
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::there is little else to recom-:
ynei^thisfilin.      . .
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■ acoherent stcay line, and a,
;district beginning or end,;:
• .%i||^^;cK^|^|:^eyelop-,|
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:;' tiie'.riyahy is, vaguely attjifj-
; ..utecl to a Napoleonic com-
I'pjsxprniacha power strug-;
j: ||| that; feels disingenuous. |
llll Unless you're a.devpfeel
? to; obscure French, enigma
, |wi|y||J|i :g|n j not}v| |ake:" a |:
^UfeRI^^^" {~A\
L^j I i
SHAW 39/28
S I H I 0 I W
Fri Jan 19 - Sun Jan 21
hlmsoc 7:00 remember the titans
Ann      t.^ 9:30 PAY ^ FORWARD
™£ZZ£?        WED fAN 24 - THURS TAN 25
Film Hotline: 822-3697  OR check out nin^ni   /      . • i r.\
www.am.ube.ca/dubs/socuL/Fiimsoe     9:30TBA (a drug movie perhaps?)
Thunder bird Volleyball
vs Saskatchewan
I Fri & Sat, Jan 19 & 20
6:15 pm & 8:00 pm
'.•'■.' War Memorial Gym
24 Hr Scores & Info
822 BIRD
. athletics.ubc.ca
Today 12:30 @ SUB 241 k
The Ubyssey Women's Issue
Any female UftC students interested in
contributing (writing, design and/or photography)
are invited to participate.
Story meeting January 24th @ 1:30 SUB 241k
Call 822 2301 for more information.
|t||.|V:; |::|:.
Dream bi
&lliV0M Of;llV. *•
4  A
Want to be
a volunteer ?
Interested News and
Culture writers,
photographers or
production volunteers can attend the
appropriate meeting
to learn how to help
Tuesday 12:30
Tuesday 1:30
Tuesday 2:30
Tuesday 11:30
Staff Meetings
realize your dreams, whatever they
tools you need to help you get started.
invest! gate
Make the most of your dreams?
Click www.royalbank.com/rmf to learn more.
Call l-86d-ROYAL-iVIF to Invest.
Everyone welcome!
SUB Rm 241k
|Gall 822-2301 for
more info.
The UBYSSEY understaffed since 1918
Royal Mutual Funds are sold by Royal Mutual Funds inc., member of Royal Bank Financial Group. "Trademark of Royal Bank of Canada. Royal Mutual Funds Inc. is a licensee of this trademark.


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