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The Ubyssey Mar 7, 2006

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He's even weirder in person.
Page 9
Bathroom attendants at a club near you.
Page 7
We list the things that happened during the
pretentious four hour ceremony. Page 18
Vol.LXXXVII   N°40
Tuesday, 7 March, 2006
.Crushing on a certain someone? since 1918
TA strike
vote passes
No job action without membership
consultation, says TA union
Canada West Finals wrap-up at UBC
Thunderbird Pasha Bains hit the court over the weekend. Despite losing to UVic, UBC still earns
a berth to the Netional Championships in Halifax. Full story pages 10-11. johnson lee photo
by Paul Evans
Teaching assistants fired a warning
shot at the University last week
when they voted to authorise their
union, Canadian Union of Public
Employees (CUPE) local 2278, to initiate a strike.
Although the vote means the
union can now legally serve the
University with a strike notice,
according to Sarah Roberts, chair of
the bargaining committee for CUPE
local 2278, union protocols require
them to go back to the membership
before job action can actually occur.
"What this vote means...is that we
want  to   send  a  message  to  the
University that our members support
us at the bargaining table," she said.
The result of the strike vote was
80 per cent in favour of a strike,
with a voter turnout of 45 per cent.
Teaching assistants at UBC have
been without a contract since August
31 and are currently in negotiations
with the University. The lack of
progress made was the driving force
behind the vote, explained Roberts.
"That's our real hang-up, that our
negotiations aren't moving forward," she said.
Roberts claimed that if the
University doesn't offer graduate
students enough money to be teach-
See "Strike" page 2.
AMS meets with MLAs
by Michael Kenacan
An Alma Mater Society (AMS) document titled "Building the Partnership" was the basis for a weekend of
discussion between two-dozen members of the student society and the
provincial government.
The summit took place in Victoria
on the last weekend of February, and
the student society executive was
pleased at what was accomplished.
"We demonstrated we are willing to work with [the provincial government]  in finding solutions to
post-secondary education in the
province," said AMS VP External
Ian Pattillo.
The principles in the partnership document included recommendations for a national dialogue
in post-secondary education, a dedicated post-secondary transfer payment to provinces and an immediate cap to tuition with a gradual
reduction from the current 28.5
percent share of post-secondary
costs that students pay to the 20 per
cent that existed in 1990.
See "Lobby"page 2.
First Nations Longhouse S-Takya daycare shutdown
Closure leaves children displaced, parents asking whether alternate solutions were sought
by Eric Szeto
Catherine Bennington doesn't know
what she's going to do with her three-
year old granddaughter when the
only Aboriginal daycare on campus
closes next month.
"I'm distraught," said Bennington,
an administrative assistant at the
Centre for Teaching and Academic
Growth. "There is no daycare for the
kid. I don't know what [UBC is] doing
and I'm irritated."
Last month, UBC announced that
the S-Takya daycare, located in the
First Nations Longhouse, would be
shut down on April 30 because it
could no longer sustain its $40,000
annual deficit.
Most of the children at S-Takya
will now be put on wait lists for
campus childcare. Children of
Aboriginal parents affiliated with
UBC will be made a first priority,
although wait lists can range from
12 to 18 months.
Three of the daycare's children
don't have parents affiliated with
UBC and will be left to find childcare
elsewhere because of a UBC mandate
which only allows for children of students, staff and faculty to attend campus daycare.
Bennington is one of those people
left searching. Although she is a UBC
staff member, she won't be able to
get her granddaughter Emma on a
waitlist because she doesn't have full
custody rights.
Despite the groundswell of outrage from parents, UBC officials
have stated that they have been left
with no choice.
Richard Vedan, director of the
First Nations Longhouse, regrets having to close the centre, but explained
that the daycare wasn't fulfilling its
"Of the limited money f get, the
majority of the money is being
taken up by subsidising the childcare program for non-Aboriginal
students. In fact, in several
instances non-UBC students."
The daycare, he said, was supposed to be accepting only children
from Aboriginal parents affiliated
with UBC, but because of consistent
enrolment shortfalls S-Takya admitted children of parents who weren't
affiliated with the University into
the program.
"I have a mandate to provide services to Aboriginal students...if you get
down to it, it's a misappropriation of
funds," said Vedan.
Many of the parents, including
Mike Wolf, whose four-year old
daughter Holly is enrolled at S-
Takya, disagree.
UBC has been unreceptive to alternative solutions in keeping the centre
open, he said. It's a callous solution,
he added.
WHERE IS THE LOVE? Children at the S-Tayka centre will  be
searching for a new daycare next month, jean chrumka photo
"I'm quite angry about it," said
Wolfs wife, Debby, a UBC hospital
worker. "It was very sudden. It's so
much a part of the Longhouse and
the philosophy of the First Nations
culture to have children involved
like that. It doesn't make any
sense to me."
See "Daycare" page 2. 2 News
Tuesday, 7 March, 2006   THE UBYSSEY
TA's went on strike in
2003, ordered back
shortly after by
provincial government
"Strike" from page 7.
ing assistants, it might translate
into top students not wanting to
come to UBC. This will have negative consequences towards
research and teaching at the
University, she added.
"As students we are concerned
about the education this University
is offering...but at this point it's
becoming an unworkable environment here," said Roberts. "All levels of the University are starting to
suffer by our inability to recruit
good graduate students."
UBC Director of Public Affairs
Scott Macrae said that contract
negotiations with the union are
ongoing and didn't want to comment on specifics.
"Those discussions really
remain at the table at this point,"
he said.
According to Macrae, the
union and UBC are set to meet
today for contract deliberations.
"As long as people are talking
there's always the mutual hope
that they'll get to a satisfactory
conclusion," he commented,
adding, "We're still talking."
Teaching assistants went on
strike in early 2003 but were legislated back to work by the provincial government on March 12 of
that year.
Roberts said she was optimistic that a contract can be
agreed upon and a strike avoided.
"The last thing anyone wants
to do is go on strike," she said. "I
really hope it doesn't come to
that." «
Lobbying efforts in Victoria a sucess, according to AMS execs
"Lobby" from page 7.
Additionally, the proposal
advised that tuition increases and
student financial assistance should
be indexed to the Consumer Price
Index and that there be guaranteed
minimum funding levels for post-
secondary education.
Patillo added that the partnership document was simply a summary of a previously published AMS
"We didn't meet Advanced
Education Minister Murray Coell
because he was in Ottawa," former
AMS VP External Jessica Klug told
the Ubyssey, though she and the
other AMS representatives convened with over fifty MLAs, deputy
and assistant deputy ministers.
Among those were ministers
Colin Hansen (Economic
Development), Stan Hagen
(Children and Family
Development), Pat Bell (Agriculture
and Lands) and Rick Thorpe (Small
Business). The AMS delegates also
met with the assistant deputy min
ister of advanced education, Tom
Vincent, as well as advanced education critic Gregor Robertson.
"Everyone had three to four
meetings a day, a lot of them successful," asserted Klug.
The province was grateful for the
information exchanged at the gathering, and seeks more in further
"[The government] are all on
board and we're going to be following up with them, giving them more
information, which they are very
interested in," assured Klug.
Both Klug and Pattillo shared a
positive outlook of the results from
the coT iultation in Victoria.
"I think we've explained some
pretty clear goals in education,
namely restoring funding, and
reminded the province that UBC
has around half the post-secondary population in the province, so
when something happens to post-
secondary education students, we
need to be consulted," said
Klug believes that for "a lot of
MLAs, post-secondary education
isn't on their radar, and by bringing [attention to] that..is important to us. We did so and are planning on doing this one or twice a
year to keep it there."
That same weekend, former
AMS President Spencer Keys
was in Ottawa at a first minister's
conference, something Keys
described as "a stakeholders
meeting for those involved in
post-secondary education."
While Keys did not meet with the
BC Minister for Advanced'Eduation,
he did meet with Deputy Minister
Moura Quayle.
Keys' specific goal at the conference was to push for a pan-
Canadian accord on post-secondary education that would identify
common values and objectives to
achieve those values.
"The premiers... were very
amenable to [the student proposals];
that was certainly encouraging,"
declared Keys, continuing, "the idea
that we need some sort of national
strategy was very well accepted. II
UBC claims it could no longer sustain its $40,000 annual deficit
"Daycare" from page 1.
"Why all of a sudden?" she asked.
Her husband, she noted, would
have to take time off work for stay at
home to take care of their child as of
May 1.
Nancy Fischer, a single parent
studying education at UBC, mirrored the Wolfs criticisms and wondered whether any alternative solutions were sought out.
Sad and disappointed, she hasn't
found anyone to look after her three-
year old son Zachary yet
"It's   hard   to   find   anything
around UBC," she said.
Darcel Cotton, director of UBC
Child Care Services, said she faces
difficult challenges as overseer of
the 17 daycares on campus.
"My obligation is to support the
University...My service has been
defined to do that for students, staff
and faculty," she said.
Currently, all 350 childcare
spaces at UBC are full. While there
are projects underway to expand
services, it will be at least five
years before another 300 spaces
are added.
Cotton shifted criticism towards
the varying levels of government.
"The problem is the partnership
[between UBC and the government]
is not working. S-Takya is an outcome that [shows] the partnership is
not working.*
"[S-Takya] tried really hard," said
Cotton. "They have a difficult space;
it doesn't have enough space to
make it viable."
Vedan didn't dispute the challenges parents will face.
"I don't think anyone's pleased
including myself," Vedan admitted.
"One can justify it, but one ceilainly
can't feel good about it." H
War, Gender & Terror
Norm Theatre
March 7th, 1-3 pm
Come out on Tuesday to discuss
the new era of war and occupation and what it means for students, for women, and for
oppressed people.The keynote
speaker will be UBC Women's
Studies professor Sunera
Judaism vs. Confucianism
Asian Centre, Auditorium
March 8th, 5 pm
A comparative study between
the God-Man in Judaism and
the Heaven-Man in
Free meditation workshop
Asian Centre, Room 604
March 9th, 7:30 pm
Call (604) 875-1702 to register
for this introductory workshop, first in a series of beginner classes.
In the March 3,20O6 issueof the.
. Ubyssey,:. we incorrectly reported
in the article."Women;and.men:
joirYthe. Sfsta-hood" that the Reel,
Sista's Film Festival is on- March;
27th.lt isactually on March 11th:-
■• The;Ubyssey regrets the error;.'.'•'
CONFERENCE 2006. Follow Your
Dream. Want to meet leaders in the sports
industry? Sporrs Career Management
Conference 2006- a two-day conference
featuring the Presidents of the BC
Lions, Vancouver Whirecaps, Vancouver
Canadians and more! March 31 st-April
1st @ UBC Robson Square. Visit www.
mjievenrs.ca for more information.
and Migration. Saturday March 11 @
VCC (250 W Pender st) 12:30-5pm,
Room 420. Panel discussion and acrion
planning- free admission, everyone
welcome: info: www.aninesty.bc.ca
Canadian Occupation of Afghanistan!
Canada Out of Afghanistan! All Troops
Out Now! 12:00 NOON, Monday
March 13. Canadian Forces Recruirmenr
Centre-1070 W. Georgia, for more info:
604-322-1764 cawopi_ubc@yahoo.ca
- www.mawovancouver.ors
the Invasion of Iraq: Global Weekend
of Action Against War! March 18- Wat-
No More rally and march against the
War in Iraq organized by Stopwar.ca.
11:30 at Seaforth Park! Rally 1:00 ar the
Vancouver Art Gallery
MARCH 19 All-day antiwar conference
organized by Mobilization Against War
and Occupation Against the Imperialist
War Drive for the self-determination of
all opressed nations, topics from Iraq,
Afghanistan to Iran and more. Britannia
Community Centre (Commercial Drive)
10-6pm www.ma.vvovancouver.org 604-
Sales Representatives. Wanna get Paid
to Party? Join the fastest growing
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OPPORTUNITY. Now is the time to
get your resume in for a summer job
with Housing and Conferences! We are
looking for enthusiastic people who enjoy
teamwork. You must be available from
April 29th to August 31st inclusive. Some
work will be available starting April 1 5th.
One full day of training is mandatory
on the following dates: April 19th, 21st,
25th or 26th. These are Housekeeping
positions, which involve cleaning guest
rooms and student residences. Training
is provided. Bring your resume to
6335 Thunderbird Crescent (to the
Second Floor Building Services Office)
by Wednesday March 15, 2006. Please
address your resumes and cover letter
to Emile Therrien, Building Services
■rrrm n
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bike shop! New 6t used bikes, parts,
storage accessories, bike repairs and bike
repair instruction, tool use, bike storage
and volunteer opportunities. On die
north side of the SUB. 604-827-7333.
per year (Sept through Sept). Fully
equipped professional photo studio. All
you need is your digital or film camera.
Photosoc members' also have access
to our state of the art, traditional wet
lab (with free chemicals for processing
and enlarging) as well as mat cutting
facilities. Save hundreds of dollars, learn
how to take professional quality portraits
and have full control over your prints.
For only 865.00 per year you can gain
the skills and learn die process of a
professional level photographer. Also, we
are located in the basement of the SUB
(between the food co-op and copyright)
so drop by! Phone 604.822.4405', email
pho tosocubc@gmail.com. www.ams.ubc.
ca/clubs/photosociety. SUB Room 26.
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For more information, visit Room 23 in
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Tuesday, 7 March, 2006
Editorial Board
coordinating editor Jesse Marchand
coordinating@ubyssey.be. ca
news editors Paul Evans 86 Eric Szeto
news@ubyssey.be. ca
culture editor Simon Underwood
culture@ubyssey.be. ca
sports.editor Megan Smyth
Bryan Zandberg
photo editor Yinan Max Wang
production manager Michelle Mayne
production@ubyssey.be. ca
volunteers Colleen Tang
volunteers@ubyssey.be. ca
research/letters Claudia Li
The Ubyssey is the official student newspaper of the University
of British Columbia. It is published every Tuesday and Friday
by The Ubyssey Publications Society. We are an autonomous,
democratically run student organisation, and all students are
encouraged to participate.
Editorials are chosen and written by the Ubyssey staff. They
are the expressed opinion of the staff, and do not necessarily
reflect the views of The Ubyssey Publications Society or the
University of British Columbia. All editorial content appearing in
The Ubyssey is the property of The Ubyssey Publications Society.
Stories, opinions, photographs and artwork contained herein
cannot be reproduced without the expressed, written permission
of The Ubyssey Publications Society.
The Ubyssey is a founding member of Canadian University Press
(CUP) and adheres to CUP's guiding principles.
Letters to the editor must be under 300 words. Please include
your phone number, student number and signature (not for
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ID will be checked when submissions are dropped off at the
editorial office of The Ubyssey; otherwise verification will be done
by phone. "Perspectives" are opinion pieces over 300 words but
under 750 words and are run according to space."Freestyles" are
opinion pieces written by Ubyssey staff members. Priority will be
given to letters and perspectives over freestyles unless the latter is
time sensitive. Opinion pieces will not be run until the identity of
the writer has been verified: The Ubyssey reserves the right to edit
submissions for length and darity.
It is agreed by all persons placing display or classified advertising
that if the Ubyssey Publications Society fails to publish an
advertisement or if an error in the ad occurs the liability of the
UPS will not be greater than the price paid for the ad. The UPS
shall not be responsible for slight changes or typographical errors
that do not lessen the value or the impact of the ad.
Room 24, Student Union Building
6138 Student Union Boulevard
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tel: 604-822-2301
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business manager Fernie Pereira
ad sales Bemadette Delaquis
ad design Shalene Takara
One day Boris Korby was walking through the park when he
found a Bryan Zandberg on the ground. He picked Bryan up and
hurtled him at Eric Szeto like a spear. Paul Evens and Claudia Lee
seeing this phoned the police.The dispatcher Michelle Mayne
sent officers Jesse Marchand, Mary Leighton, Ada Chen and
Colleen Tang to apprehend the suspect, but before they could
get there Megan Smyth and Simon Underwood made a citizens
arrest while Yinan Max Yang took pictures. Boris shared his
prison cell with fellow convicts Catherine Hart, Matt Hayles,
Andrew MacRae and Carolynne Burkholder. On the day of his
trial he was escorted to court by Bailiff Alia Vharssi who handled
him roughly. Cheata Nko prosecuted the case with great zeal,
while Candace Mokada typed the record. Levi Barnett did his
best to defend-the suspect, but thought the case was lost. Until
the jury made up of Aluiva Lo, Mary Leighton, Champagne
Choquer, Johnson Lee, Micheal Kenacan,Yalin Lin,Benhamin
Groberman, Erik Lauder, Peter Wawen, Jill Orsten, Peter Clark,
Melissa Woodside, Ruetzen Heredia, Kiam Mintz Woo, Greg Ursic,
Maxwell Maxwell and D WinterWhite had to let him off because
they realized that Eric Szeto was just fine because,"You can't
hurt steel."
editorial graphic Yinan Max Wang
\li)  Printed on
\ l\_/   recycled paper
Canada Post Sales Agreement
Number 0040878022
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THE UBYSSEY   Tuesday, 7 March, 2006
News 3
••: i
Damage control, Coca-Cola style
Alleged ethics violations spur national Coke ad campaign
-..j WA'f
by Eric Szeto
After a slew of campus wide bans of
their product in the United States
over the past two months, Coca-Cola
has launched a national ad campaign to repair their tarnished image
and prevent further boycotts.
The ads, which have run in the
Ubyssey and several other university papers across Canada, address
specific allegations: human rights
abuses at a Coca-Cola bottling plant
in Colombia and hazardous environmental practices and water
rights violations in India.
Skeptics, however, are questioning the timing of these ads.
"It's clearly an attempt by Coke to
stop the boycotts that are going on
across the country/ said Scott
Gilbert an executive at the University
of Guelph. "It's Coca-Cola propaganda in an attempt to save their ass
from student boycotts.*
Executives at the University of
Guelph's student government recently voted against renewing their exclusivity contract with Coke.
Richard Girard, a worker at the
Polaris Institute, an Ottawa based
think tank, reaffirmed Gilbert's statements, calling the ads "hot air."
"I don't know how many people
they expect to believe them but they
feel like they have to do that to combat the very successful ongoing
campaign against their company,"
he said.
Nicole Zlonkevicz, editor-in-chief
of the Michigan Journal, Michigan
University's student newspaper,
defended Coke's decision to publish
these ads.
"I think Coke has every right
to defend themselves and the
University has every right to pull
their contract until they discover
more," she said. "It's a tough call to
make because it's just allegations.'''
Although Michigan University
recently suspended Coke products
from their campus, Zlonkevciz felt
that the ads were good because they
brought to light both sides of the
issue for students.
Kari Bjorhus, a spokesperson at
Coke denied that these ads were an
attempt to sway public opinion.
Rather, she said, "it's an opportunity
to provide information to students
and administrators that they might
otherwise not have about how a company like the Coca-Cola company
approaches water stewardship."
"I don't think we're doing this
as a part of any sales plan," she
said, responding to the potential
loss in revenue.
It is estimated that another 40
student governments in the US are
pursuing similar courses of action to
the ten American universities—most
recently Michigan University and
New York University—that have
banned or suspended Coke products
from being sold on their campuses
because of these allegations.
The University of Guelph student
union executives as well as York and
McMaster University's student
unions are the only three Canadian
schools that have voted to sever or
not renew their contracts thus far.
Exclusivity deals with universities
across North America may be further jeopardised if an independent
assessment commission's report,
aimed at investigating these suspected human rights violations, do not
exonerate the bottling giant.
The  independent commission.
which Coke has refused to sign
on to, was formed in 2005 after
numerous complaints of ethics
violations were brought forth
by union workers in Colombia.
Members of the commission include
the Workers Rights Consortium, the
Fair Labor Association, the Center for
International Solidarity and numerous student unions in North
America, including UBCs Alma
Mater Society (AMS).
As for UBC, currently in its second last year of the ten-year exclusivity deal, the findings of the investigation may have serious repercussions
for future negotiations.
AMS President Kevin Keystone
did suggest that the University would
be hesitant to outright ban Coca-Cola
products on campus, however.
"Aside from outright banning,
which is extreme, I think that the
University and the AMS will be
thinking twice before it signs an
exclusivity deal with any multinational cold-beverage supplier,"
stated Keystone.
There are currently 18 other universities in Canada that have exclusivity contracts with Coca-Cola. II
Further hurdles for Travel Cuts settlement
U of A student union
president's comments
create controversy
by Chloe Fedio
EDMONTON (CUP)-The drawn-out
Travel Cuts dispute is facing yet
another delay after the University
of Alberta student union President
Graham Lettner made controversial statements about the recent
pre-trial settlement.
In the February 28 issue of the
Gateway, Lettner said, "it's clear in
the settlement, and it's clear in the
work that we've done, that the
plaintiffs were wronged in the
past," adding that the agreement
was a matter of vindication.
"The statements are false and a
fundamental violation of the agreement," said Executive Director of
the Canadian Federation of
Students-Services (CFS-S) Philip
"I think we need an unequivocal
retraction from Graham Lettner—
an acknowledgement that the statements were false in every way. Not
just that they were false, but some
acknowledgement that that wasn't
the basis on which we were settling, and that the settlement states
nothing of the sort."
Last week, an out-of-court settlement was reached regarding
ownership of Travel Cuts. It provided a newly created non-profit
organisation—of which plaintiffs
will be members along with 12
other student unions—with a 24
per cent share in the company.
Link said that CFS-S was "sufficiently satisfied" when the agreement was made.
"We were comfortable in agreeing with a settlement, but not a settlement whereby the plaintiffs can
make these sorts of false claims
about what the settlement means
and how it should be viewed,
because in no way are we in any
way saying that there was wrongdoing by us or Travel Cuts, and that
IN LIMBO? Recently settled Travel Cuts lawsuit may not be so settled after all. Michelle mayne photo
was  explicit in this  settlement/
Link said.
After learning of the comments,
CFS-S released a statement yesterday stating that Lettner's "false
statements" violated the terms of
the agreement and may result in its
"In the settlement, we're not to
contradict the joint statement to
the extent that we did; it shouldn't
have been done," Lettner said.
"There's no appropriation of
blame or wrongdoing to the plaintiffs or the defendants in the
agreement, so that's what they're
taking issue with."
Travel Cuts was originally
owned by the Association of
Student Councils-Canada (AOSC),
now a dormant organisation, which
passed along its assets to CFS-S in
Years later, a dispute arose
between CFS-S and four plaintiff
student governments from the
University of Alberta, University of
British   Columbia,   University   of
Western Ontario and Queen's
University—which were members
of AOSC, but not CFS-S-pertaining
to the ownership and operations
Travel Cuts.
The lawsuit was originally filed
by Western University Students'
Council in 1996, accusing CFS-S of
illegally transferring the company,
and asked for its full benefits,
including free International
Student Identity Cards (ISIC) for all
undergraduate student associations across Canada, whether they
are part of CFS-S or not. However,
Link disputed this claim.
"It was only because the plaintiffs—a decade later—came up with
this scheme to try to reverse that,
basically relying on this technicality that the motion, back in-1987,
directed that the transfer be completed by 30 June, 1988, and that it
wasn't," Link said.
He went on to say that the only
problem with the transfer was that
it wasn't completed within the
AOSC's prescribed timeline.
"The only wrongdoing is that
this group of student unions has
leveraged this portion of the ownership, and it's because we're thinking of the best interest of the company, and what's in the best interest of the company is remaining on
the UBC, U of A and Western campuses, and that wasn't necessarily
going to be the outcome when we
won the suit in court," said Link.
"But the notion that these guys
were wronged is a joke."
Lettner responded to the
Gatewayin writing about his controversial comments. "The settlement
contained no acknowledgement of
wrongdoing on either side, and no
admission of liability by the plaintiffs or defendants," Lettner wrote.
"I think other than publishing
exactly what we have there, there's
ho need to follow up further," he
later said. "That closes up any mis-
communication that was made earlier on in the February 28 news
edition, and we're going to leave it
at that." II
!   i
Great northwestern
hope to be revealed
in 2007
by Eric Szeto
With almost all multimedia entertainment using digital media
nowadays, it's no surprise that
the Great Northern Way Campus
(GNWC) received a $40 million
vote of confidence from the
provincial government.
"We're jubilant," Denis
Pavlich, co-chair of the Board at
GNWC, said of the multi-million
dollar dole out from the provincial government during their
recent budget announcement,
adding that this money will be
going towards building a world-
class digital media centre.
GNWC, conceived in 2000 by
UBC, SFU, Emily Carr Institute of Art
+ Design and British Columbia
Institute of Technology, is set to
open in 2007. According to their
mission statement, GNWC is an
institution dedicated to urban sustainability and digital media.
Companies such as Mainstream
Entertainment and Radical Entertainment, all of which have spawned
in BC, will be taking active roles in
the school.
Electronic Arts Canada—one of
the biggest video game developers in the world—will also be
heavily involved.
The school, Pavlich said,
should further strengthen the
already burgeoning local digital
media industry and continue to
make BC a leader in the world.
"There isn't anything in Canada
at all in this area," said Pavlich, "and
there are very few very top notch
programs in the world."
"It is a significant sum of
money so it's recognition that the
industry has reached a sufficient
degree of maturity. that it warrants that type of investment."
Teaching sustainable behavior
by using digital media technologies will be fundamental, said
CEO and president of GNWC,
Bruce Chapman.
The synergies that exist
between urban sustainability and
digital media will be fully
explored, he added.
"You can use digital media
technologies and products to
encourage sustainable behavior.
You can do virtual reality simulations of situations and you can
build a building using virtual
The 8.9 hectare campus, located in East Vancouver, hopes to
have its first class of graduates in
2010. Pavlich said applications
for the school should begin by
this summer.
"It's a wonderful blend of the
science and the arts, in the transformation of culture in the current
age we live in," Pavlich said. II
... j>i. •
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UBCtalk.com launched
Online community seeks to bring students together
by Yalin Lin
For students looking to stay connected with friends and fellow students across campus or who just
need another distraction from writing papers, UBCtaIk.com, a new
independent website forum created
by a UBC student, has the answer.
With the motto "making UBC
smaller one post at a time,"
UBCtalk.com, in its third month of
operation, is following in the footsteps of other online communities
like Livejournal.com, Facebook.com
and Myspace.com.
"What you have is a growing
campus with diminishing student
relationships with professors and
each other/ said fourth-year psychology student and founder of
UBCtalk.com, Sam Khajeei.
"UBCtalk.com is attempting to
counter this phenomenon," he
Free for all students to join, the
forum is a venue for UBC students
to compare notes on all aspects of
university life. The UBCtalk.com
forum "offers topics such as professor ratings, housing for rent, faculty
talk, club talk, buy and sell of books
and many more all specific to UBC,"
explained Khajeei. One feature he
said the website won't include is a
UBC dating service.
Khajeei also hopes that members will also take advantage of the
website to get information on
prospective majors from their peers
already in  the  programs.   "Since
UBCTALK: Friends are just a click away, yinan max wang photo
there are many members who have
done this major or considered it,
you would receive answers from
many experienced people with different points of view," he added.
Marketing UBCtalk.com has been
the biggest challenge so far,
explained Khajeei.
"I would love to see about a 1000
members on the board in the near
future...since a forum is only as
resourceful as the members within
it," he said. Currently, with only
around 63 members, the
UBCtalk.com team is working hard
to have the website listed on major
search engines, and advertised on
CiTR radio to boost that figure.
In comparison to other online
resources, UBCtalk.com developers
said that it provides the services of
all those websites and more all in
one site.
Unlike its Livejournal distant-
cousin where postings of various
topics are mixed in a hodgepodge
fashion, postings at UBCtalk.com
are organised into their respective
headings for easy navigation and
search. Whereas Livejournal is
more blog oriented, "I believe
UBCtalk.com will be more personal
and direct than Livejournal.
Members can communicate with
each other live in real time,"
Khajeei elaborated.
Furthermore, "UBCtalk.com is a
non-profit organisation set up for
students. It will remain non-profit.
There are too many things on campus that take money from students
already," Khajeei said. II
Break-ins rock the Bike Co-op
Improved security measures forthcoming, says AMS
by Jesse Ferreras
A recent string of break-ins have
prompted a call for more stringent
security measures at the Alma Mater
SocieLy (AMS) Bike Co-op.
Located in the basement of the
SUB, the Co-op experienced two
break-ins within weeks of each other.
According to Yvonne Fung, volunteer coordinator and director-at-
large on the Co-op's Board of
Directors, the first break-in happened sometime in the middle of
the night on January 11.
"I left at 9:30...so it was late at
night," said Fong. "It must have happened sometime between 9:00[pm]
and 8:00[am] the next morning."
The first break-in occurred
when the perpetrator threw a brick
through the window and broke in,
taking two bikes estimated at a
combined value of $7,000.
Security measures taken by the
Co-op have included the installation of steel grates upon the windows of the front door—measures
that occurred following the second
"[After] the first burglary, we did
not respond quickly enough," admitted Billy Smith, a manager at the Bike
Kitchen, explaining that the second
break in occurred on the day before
the grates were scheduled to be
installed. "The second time, we did
not hesitate."
While the issue of properly value
in the Bike Co-op is a matter of serious concern, there is also consideration for the safety of the entire SUB,
as the front door to the Co-op space
provides an entrance to the rest of
T*P>  s' ■j^WT
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II       *    ~^ 4
REPAIR WORK: Bike mechanics work in the Bike Kitchen of the
AMS Bike Co-op. yinan max wang photo
the building, said Andrea Smith, a
senior staffer with the Bike Co-op.
"The [AMS Bike] Kitchen and the
Co-op don't want to be a drain on the
AMS," she said. "We're very grateful
for the space and we feel that a secure
front door is part of the space, given
that it's basically an exterior front
door to the SUB."   .
Smith professed concerns that
the almost-hidden front door's location, made it easily accessible to
"The door is at the bottom of a
tunnel basically where it is protected
from vision of anyone. We don't
have a ramp, which would also
improve the sightlines and would
make the space wheelchair accessible," she added.
A newly transitioned AMS executive   likewise   expressed   concern
about security issues related to the
Co-op entrance.
"It's obviously a safety concern
if you can get into the SUB through
the Bike Co-op," said VP Admin
David Yuen. "It's not just a security
issue for the Bike Co-op—if they can
get into the SUB it is a concern for
the AMS."
Besides the installation of the
front grates, the Bike Co-op also
hopes to install a new alarm system
from possible monies set aside by the
AMS, said Smith. In the meantime,
the AMS has plans to increase security at the Co-op.
"It was discussed as part of a
meeting of the Finance Commission
on January 24th," said AMS
President Kevin Keystone.
"We'll ensure this doesn't happen again." II
- i
-e f
2\< THE UBYSSEY   Tuesday, 7 March, 2006
National 5
New freelance union to counter 'buyers' market'
Journalists make an effort to mobilise in order to improve working conditions
and pressure media owners to raise wages in a bloated market
by Giuseppe Valiante
MONTREAL (CUP)-Representatives
from the new Canadian Freelance
Union (CFU) tried to recruit over
25 journalists from Montreal last
Wednesday to create a strong
national alliance of writers to
mobilise and pressure publishers
to raise their wages. The meeting
focused on how media owners are
able to pay lower rates, as the market is saturated with writers.
"[Publishers] are screwing us
because they can," said Michael
O'Reilly, CFU President.
O'Reilly fielded questions with
CFU members Gordon Graham
and Peter Murdock from skeptical
and supportive audience members
who shared one common concern—they wanted to be paid more
for their work.
Graham—a  founding  member
of NOW Magazine in Toronto-
explained that to cut costs, publishers lay off full-time writers. This
forces  them into freelance work
"If you want to write
for a living, go and
study what you want
to write about and
then go out and
write about it-don't
study journalism,"
—Jason Gondziola
Concordia philosophy student
where salaries are more meagre
and benefits are nixed.
"This is a historic time,"
Graham said. He believes that the
interests of full-time and freelance
writers are now the same.
"Increase freelance rates and [publishers] will stop cutting [full-time]
jobs," he said.
"It's a buyers' market," said
freelance journalist Jason
Gondziola, former editor at The
Link (the student newspaper at
Concordia) and currently the executive producer at CUTV. He agrees
that Canada's writing market is saturated, but doesn't necessarily see
this as a reason to start up a union.
"I'm not against the idea," he
said, "but [starting a union] is a difficult thing to do."
He said that the CFU would
essentially have to recruit all freelancers in the country to effectively-
put pressure on media owners.
Gondziola claims he's been
paid fairly well for the work he's
done for a plethora of publications
like the Montreal Mirror and The
National Review of Medicine.
Established freelance journalists aren't the only ones that are
bearing the brunt of a competitive
and flooded pool of local and
national writers according to
Gondziola. Journalism graduates
may also be facing a tough future
when it comes to graduation time,
he said.
Jobs are being cut in newsrooms across the country and
fewer writers are able to publish
their work, resulting in fewer
opportunities, acknowledged Gondziola. Lack of jobs and what
O'Reilly calls "poverty wages" are
some of the issues that journalism
graduates will inherit when they
enter the workforce. According to
O'Reilly, aspiring journalists are
being lied to by their departments.
He accused universities of taking
advantage of "an attractive program",
believing that it isn't fair to journalism students because they "aren't
being told what their real prospects
will be once they graduate."
Barbara Black, editor of The
Concordia Journal, said that jour
nalism departments want to
encourage students but cannot
hold their hands.
"It's not [the journalism department's] role to find jobs for their
graduates. Success in journalism
depends a lot on the initiative of its
practitioners," she said.
Gondziola, a Concordia honours
philosophy student, doesn't agree
with studying journalism as an academic discipline.
"If you want to write for a living,
go and study what you want to write
about and then go out and write
about it—don't study journalism,"
he said.
A journalist's pay does not necessarily depend on what degree
they receive. The union seeks
to network between all aspiring
journalists, regardless of their
Graham sees the process of trying to raise freelance rates as similar to knocking down a large wall.
'You have to tap here and there,"
he said. "And if enough people tap,
the wall will come down." II
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Visit the VI website ht&://psg<conV"-tedAifaniS&^e their
/full line'upof lectures, ' '^ ''*
IRC Sldgv - 21$4 Health Sciences Wall
Forestry Research Day
12:00PM to 8:00PM :>i\ $ Jf, -
The faculty Is hosting a poster session^ gradate students
and a feature presentation^ Dr. Pete^^f^ofessor, and
Co*0irector, Centre for Applied Consef^s^^lsearch. More
details at wvwtf.fofestr^,ubc.ca/researchi^i}^s:jitfnl.
Forest Sciences Centre Atrium - 2424:^fo;${ail
UBC Health Clinic Grand Gpenfn#^';>;
Daily March 6 to 10,12:30PM to 1:3i^&felnesday
evening 6:Q0~7:00PM SlS??^
UBCs Health Clinic is announcing tfte&$j*ps& evening to
showcase their brand new facilities, ;1^e^W care team and
tour the state-of-the-art facility. Refr^1|i^ wiii be served.
Daily event info at www.famiiymediilcS^eall 604-822-
5431. - ^^%!k
David Strangway Bldg, Suite 300 - 3jf^&$tersty Blvd
, (above Shopper's Drug Mart)„ ^ -/f;, V r-
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Science of a Changing Planet
6d)0PM to 8:00PM.
Understand the fascinating science, behind Earth*s ever-
changing state. This series of short talks featuring UBC-based
research on problems and solutions associated with our
rapid climate changes and ways youxan realistically reduce
<3H<3 emissions, £vefyone is welcome, for more details call
UBC Robson Square theatre - 800 Robson St
Green College Lecture
5:00PM to 7:00PM
"The Changing Social Contract of Health" talk by Dorothy
Porter, History of Health Sciences, and Chair, Department
of Anthropology, History and Social Medicine, University of
California San Francisco. Limited seating, www.greencollege.
ubc ca.
Green College - 6201 Cecil Green Park Rd.
Sci-Trek Science & Research Trade Show
10:00AM to 4:00P(yi . ,   -      *
U8C Supply toajgement presents Sci Trek to all Faculty and
Staff. Check out this a^ssng science and research related
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g^hSJI^e the planners for the cities and towns of
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U8C toffiwmufe. Room C150/180 - SOD Robson St
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Workshop o^r^ireless Systems
8:30AM to 5:0Sf^l {;'-: ^'~;
Dr. Salim Hannalfbud In&istry Canada and Dr. Andy MoliscH' '-
from Mitsubishi Ele^lc; Research Labs will give keynote
presentations on ulir&^leband wireless technologies. More
details visit http://b^j^ceiu1^ca/workshop.html or call $04-
822-3237. ^'sY' ':'/
Kaiser Bldg.-2332:
Engineering Open House
10:00AM to'4:00P'ivl Friday &;Saturday
'Say the word "doctorl< w "lawyer* and an Immediate ',
picture springs to mind of what these careers entail. Now try
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Tradeshow, visfcU&Cs |v1ajor,$uppfer$; discove'r new scientifics    the exclt1ng.and diverse world of engineering at th£ free
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Traffic & Vancouver: Approac
tffasfitem 5:30PM to 6:30PM
Presentation 6:30PM to 7:30PM
Vancouverites, like residents in other,*|^r Nor^h American
cities, face increased lost time, pollut^^d accents from
growing traffic congestion and reduce^|ii^.;Qio Sauder
School of Business faculty members anpf^dn'k as they - s
discuss solytions to these issues. More^^SPabte at 604-
822-6801 or email alurnni^s^uder.upi
USC Robson Square; Ifoom C100 - 8C
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Internationalization & Education:
Practices, issues & Controversies
§:3QPM Poster Session
7:30PM lecture/
Join two excellent researchers as they ope|i:arH^fq>and
your knowledge of education in other pai^-of^joi?prld.
Maureen Kendrick will focus on education tni^ses in three
tlgandan communities and Handel Wright ^Ijp^^ahout
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products and services sad make new contacts at lh,is event.
Life Sciences Centre, West Atrium - 2350 Health Sciences
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Venture into UBC Research Developments
5:00PM " \„^/\:*
Discover tf>e new companies being generated by UBC
research miftnd out how they are being supported by our ,
JrstUBC Entrepreneur-in-Residence, Gary Albach... let the
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UBC Robson Square, HSBC Hall - 800 Robson St
Ingredients for a Healthy City
6:00PM to 8:00PM
Rob VanWynsberghe and others will taik about issues of
sustainability and community as they relate to Vancouver's
development towards an Olympic host city. This is a free event
and due to space limitations, pre-registration is required via
their website: www.wuf3.ubc.ca/program/living.html
UBC Robson Square Theatre - 800 Robson St.
Engineering Ope.r* House, Visit www.apsc.uhc.ca for complete
details. ,,/'%'-
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Am Qffidaf Opening
2:b0BJv1 to 5:00PM
Everyone is welcome to atten
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AERL - 2202 Main Mall 1'l^iik
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10:00AM to 12:00PM
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THE UBYSSEY   Tuesday, 7 March. 2006
Feature 7
The man in
How to make money with no previous bathroom qualifications
Sean Roberts walks downtown
at 10:30 on a Saturday night.
He's over six feet tall and built
like a trim, rugby player. His dark
brown hair is cropped short except
for a blond tuft on the back of his
neck, a modern mullet.
He wears black jeans and white
leather shoes, a black dress shirt with
lime-green pinstripes and carries a
pink and grey 80s gym bag over his
He stops at 751 View St, shakes
hands with the bouncers at Red Jacket,
then skips the line and walks up the
staircase to the second-level club.
Upstairs, he gives a wink of his blue
eyes to the coat check girls and nods at
security. He waves at the bartenders
as he passes the bar and a 400-gallon
fishtank on his way to work.
The walls in the men's washroom
are ox-blood red with a black tile border. A large, gilt-framed mirror hangs
over two sinks. Two toilet stalls sit on
the left; four urinals stand to the
right. Sean places cologne, hair products, paper towels and a tip jar on the
countertop beside the sinks and sits
on a stool by the door, ready to jmake
some money.
"Every night there's that moment,
the initial rush when everyone has to
piss around 11," he says. "And I'm
there for them, I give them towels."
"I just kind of snuck in the back
door, I had no previous bathroom
qualifications," Roberts says. He
knew about the position because a
friend of his was quitting it.
The expectations co-owner Damien
Cownden gave Roberts when he was
hired were simple: show up on time
and buy your own supplies. Roberts
maris the bathroom from 10:30pm to
2:00am every Thursday, Friday and
Saturday night. The club pays him
imnirnum wage and he keeps his
tips. "On a good night he could make
as much as the bartenders," says
Cownden. This implies an average of
$75 to $200 per night.
While he? saves his tips, Roberts
uses his mdnimum-wage paycheque
to cover the costs of supplies. "I have
nice paper towels, really nice ones. I
buy them from Costco now because
I've found they're the biggest, best
and most absorbent. If you buy the
cheap ones they're so thin you have
to give two away. I think people
would tip more if they knew I had to
buy paper towels," he says.
Roberts also supplies hair products, which he gets at a discount from
GEMI hair salon in exchange for
word-of-mouth promotion and distributing business cards. He says the
most popular hair product is wax, but
"Every night there's
that moment, the initial
rush when everyone has
to piss around 11, and
i'm there for them."
-Sean Roberts
Bathroom Attendant
he also has hair spray, mousse, rub-
beriser and cream for anyone who
needs it. Everyone has his own technique, says Roberts. The hair tweakers are some of his favourite clients.
"This one guy, he wets his hands,
messes up his hair, and then puts it
up into a mohawk. He doesn't even
put any product in it, but I know he's
good for five bucks. Another guy
comes in and he'll wet his hand and
pull back his hair really slowly and
then flick it forward so it looks like
the wind's blowing at him from
behind. It's such a trademark move."
Roberts gets some free bottles and
sample-sized cologne from a woman
who works at the Bay, and he pays for
the rest. The bathroom is stocked
with Crave by Calvin Klein, Diesel,
Hugo Energize, Issey Miyake, and
Dolce & Gabbana cologne—his most
popular product.
"One of my favourite moves with .
the colognes is when guys spray it
twice on their neck and then one, for
her, down the pants," he laughs.
He also supplies mints. Guys ask
him for condoms and he'll supply
them if he has any. One night a client
started laughing when he saw that
Roberts had condoms. "He said You
even got rubbers. Well,  I'm going
bareback tonight anyways; I know
where that pussy's been.'"
Roberts also keeps orange-scented
room spray in his arsenal to keep the
washroom smelling fresh. "Last week
I had so much spray going on, one
guy said, 'Fuck, this smells awesome
in here. So fresh and fruity.'"
There are only two clubs in town
with bathroom attendants: Red Jacket
and Sugar. Cownden co-owns and
operates both.
Cownden has been in the nightclub business for over six years and
all of his clubs have had bathroom
attendants. He says he got the idea
working in clubs in Florida and visiting clubs in Beverly Hills and Los
- Angeles.
"In a lot of other places, it's commonplace. I wish it would become
more of a trend in Canada," he says.
Some  Victoria nightclub  managers flunk otherwise.
"It's not really cost-effective," says
Aragon Pawson, assistant manager of
Hugo's Grill & Brewhouse. "Plus, it
can be kind of freaky for some people
who just aren't comfortable with it"
Pawson says he sees a place for
"attendants in high-end establishments, but that Victoria doesn't have
the demographic to support the service. "There aren't very many million1
aire tycoons in Victoria," he laughs.
Cownden says the main reason
Red Jacket has bathroom attendants
is for style. "My opinion is that the
best way to judge an establishment's
aesthetics is by, its washrooms," he
says. He also relies on his attendants
for safety and security measures.
Roberts supplies a service; he
also observes a lot from his perch
on the stool.
On a Thursday night, the crowd
is mostly young, broke university
students. These are Roberts' least
favourite clients because they don't
tip well, get rowdy and cause trouble. They often slam a mickey of
booze before they come to the club "
so they don't have to pay for pricey
drinks at the bar.
There is a zero tolerance policy for
'pukers,' who are frequent on these
nights, and security stands by the
bathroom ready to kick them out.
This crowd is loud and obnoxious,
and likes to give high fives. "That's
another thing you get a lot of—guys
who want to give you high fives and
shake your hand, and you're like,
'Wash your hands first buddy and
then we can do all of those social rituals.' I'm a chronic hand washer in
there, too. I'm washing my hands
every couple of minutes."
Friday nights have a hip-hop
theme and tips are still on the
smaller side, so Roberts has to be
extra charming. He says a client is
more inclined to slip him a bill if he
goes the extra mile and remembers
bis name.
Saturday nights are the best
nights for tips because it's an older
crowd. "Everybody's working for
the weekend," he says. These are
the nights he makes connections
and gets some of the best perks.
Clients have offered him free
Helijet rides, tickets to events at
the Victoria Conference Centre and
-Aragon Pawson
Assistant Manager
Hugo's Grill &? Brewhouse
fruity drinks he wouldn't normally
buy for himself.
Aside from making money and
keeping guys coiffed and smelling
good all night, Roberts gets a different perspective working at the club as
opposed to drinking there.
"When I went to the bar before, I
was trying to go to meet girls, but
when you're working, you see your
competition. Now I know every sort
of guy, every character I'm up
against. You see how absolutely
drunk most of these guys are and I
think a lot of these guys could take a
lesson from working in here and seeing themselves. It's kind of scary."
Just as scary as the drunken guys
are the girls who are wasted and desperate for a hook-up. Roberts calls
them stragglepusses. "You can pick
them out too. They are just going
around the bar like animals looking
for a lay. It's true! Un-PC maybe, but
stragglepuss is a reality."
There's no attendant in the
women's washroom to get the drunken stragglepuss kicked out before she
gets into trouble. Cownden says he
tried it at Sugar, but the girls didn't
tip the attendant
"Women generally do not tip as
well as men, it's not a prejudice, it's
just a fact of the industry," Cownden
says. He estimates that the women's
attendant made a twentieth of what
the men's attendant makes in tips.
While some of Roberts' clients tell
him they think he has the worst job
ever, he says it's the place to be.
For Roberts, working the bathroom is just another way to save up
some money while in his fourth year
of an English degree at UVic.
He is hoping to save some money
so he can go traveling again, perhaps
to take up where he left off as a self-
proclaimed fraudulent English
teacher in Taiwan. "I was just a drunken backpacker," he admits. For now,
working during prime party-time is
helping Roberts save the dough. "It's
not worth it to me if I'm not doing this
as a means to my end." IB
— text by Amanda Leier
The Martlet/University of Victoria
photo by Yinan Max Wang
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nSSeaSy^iStaC'.Vi^i1^^ & National
Tuesday, 7 March, 2006   THE UBYSSEY
X^here is no flying under the radar...    j  \JUt Ilttlll"2  til 6
body politic
vr\E ubusseuis niRine for oie 2006-2007
(Room 24 in vn& sub) tlo learii ptiore
THE UBYSSEY   you will be assimilated since 1918
Zed Real Host
Zed Candid Hosts
Trish, Zorana, Suzanne
Zed Tunes Host
**& Catch Zed
Tuesday, Wednesday; Thursday
11:25pm on CBC Television     **»
zed.cbc.ca   Short Films, Documentaries, IViusic... lots more    cscteiw«ran
Zed Pub Night
at the Pit Pub
Thursday/March 8th. 8pm
Basement Level, Student Union Building
University of British Columbia
Former RTA student uses T-shirts, pins and
puns to stir up interest in federal politics
JUST DON'T TRASH THE 'STACHE: NDP Leader Jack Layton gets
served by Much Music VJ Devon Soltendieck. dave weatkerall photo
by Emily Bellavy
TORONTO (CUP)-Mark Shyzer has
voted in only one federal election,
but he's still sticking it to seasoned
Shyzer, 22, sells political pins
and silkscreen T-shirts on his website, bawdypolitic.ca. He created
the site last June, shortly after
dropping out of Ryerson's Radio
and Television Arts program. -
. His designs feature drawn head-
shots of Canadian politicians with
corky puns drawn from the political drama that unfolds on
Parliament Hill.
One of his bestsellers features
Belinda Stronach and text that says
"Stronach enough to be my lover."
It stirs up memories of Stronach's
failed relationship with current
Foreign Affairs Minister Peter
MacKay, Shyzer said.
"I think that having that surface
interest in the cosmetics of politics
is sort of the venue through which
I got all my information for politics
for this election," he said.
"It's more interesting to hear
about Belinda Stronach's relationship instead of Jennifer Garner's
relationship because...you might
learn something about politics
along the way."
"We were talking
about how university
students would be at
first the best people to
market because they'd
think Canadian
politics shown in a
funny way on these
t-shirts was cool."
—Renee Goulet
Ryerson student
the best people to market because
they'd think Canadian politics
shown in a funny way on these T-
shirts was cool," she said.
But bawdypolitic.ca is generating interest among experienced
politicos, as well. Shyzer said that
—Mark Shyer
bawdypolitic. ca
he received about 100 shirt orders
for the Jack Layton T-shirt, which
reads "Don't trash the 'stache," the
day after an NDP post-election
Layton was also given his own
copy of the shirt while appearing
on MuchMusic.
Shyzer's products may appeal
more to the politically aware than to
apathetic citizens, said University of
King's College student and bawdypolitic.ca customer Rebecca Blair.
"I don't know if T-shirt slogans
will ever entice people to become
involved, but it's certainly a
reward of sorts for involvement,"
she said.
"The Paul Martin T-shirt wouldn't be nearly as clever to someone ' >\
Renee Goulet, 24, was Shyzer's
roommate when Shyzer began
posting the designs on his online
journal for laughs. The designs
appeal to youth because they're so
tongue-in-cheek, she said.
"We were talking about how university students would be at first    Jean, he added. II
who didn't know what he had been
involved in to deserve the slogan
'S candalicious.'"
Like a celebrity's 15 minutes of
fame, the designs have a brief
shelf life.
"I want to keep up with the
designs as people come in and
leave...the Carolyn Parrish design
is probably going to be retired
because she hasn't done anything
outrageous in the last little while,"
Shyzer said.
One of his plans for an upcoming shirt and pin design is to feature Governor General Michaelle
Hi if
THE UBYSSEY   Tuesday, 7 March, 2006
Culture 9
Five and a half hours of
crammed on two DVDs
Do the hip flip with the Human Serviette tonight at the Norm—doot doola doot doo...doot doo!
Norm Theatre
Tonight, 7:29 pm
by Maxwell Maxwell
In Canada, there are certain things
that must inevitably be explained to
perplexed foreigners. Why is it so
cold here? What, exactly, is a toque?
And most importantly, who the fuck
is Nardwuar the Human Serviette?
The last question is the hardest to
answer. Nardwuar is a personality
above all others, a bespectacled,
bizarrely-dressed force of nature
who, in between promoting rock
shows, broadcasting his own radio
show on CiTR 101.9FM, and interviewing the world's most famous
rock stars, appears sporadically on
MuchMusic to bewilder celebrities
for our amusement
Obviously, Nardwuar the Human
Serviette is not his birth name, but
since 1986, it has been his legal one.
Nardwuar's appeal lies in his interview style: he comes off as a zany,
one-dimensional Tom Green type,
but underneath his hideous plaid hat
lies the grey matter of a brilliant and
highly dedicated gonzo journalist.
The silly name, ridiculous clothes,
and weird stunts (Paul Martin agreed
to do the Hip Flip(™) with Nardwuar,
Jack Layton said he might, and
Stephen Harper flat-out refused) distract from the fact that Nardwuar
researches his subjects more than
most journalists around and has an
incredible knack for asking exactly
the right question to make great TV.
It is with this dedication to being
entertaining that Nardwuar has
released his first DVD. After twenty-
years of loud music, gonzo journalism, and seriously pissing off his
idols, Nardwuar has reels of material
He comes off as a
zany, one-dimensional *
Tom Green type, but
underneath his
hideous plaid flat lies
the grey matter of a
brilliant and highly
dedicated gonzo
to choose from. His approach seems
to have been to include it all.
Doot Doola Doot Doo.. Doot Doo!,
titled after the unorthodox question
(and puzzled response) Nardwuar
uses to conclude his interviews, consists of five and a half hours of Nard
crammed into two DVDs, along with
an entertaining little pamphlet which
gives some of Nardwuar's history.
We get both of Nardwuar's
MuchMusic specials, five footage of
both his bands (The Evaporators and
Thee Goblins, who, yes, really do
spell their name like that), and
enough random footage of Nardwuar
confusing, embarassing, upsetting,
amazing, and confounding famous
people to boil your eyeballs out.
There is, of course, even an interview
with Nardwuar himself.
In his own inimitable style,
Nardwuar has interviewed pretty
much everyone over the past decade
or so who has mattered. Gorbachev,
Kurt Cobain, GWAR, Gene Simmons,
Snoop, Franz Ferdinand, Jello Biafra,
Dan Quayle, and Michael Moore are
all subjected to Nardwuar's journalistic intensity (and, according to
Henry Rollins, his halitosis), and the
results range from hilarity to political scandal. Watching the DVD for a
few minutes, we can see Quiet Riot
steal Nardwuar's hat, GWAR crack
up laughing, and Jean Chretien's
infamous reply to the question of
maced student protesters, telling
Nardwuar that "for me, pepper, I put
it on my plate."
Perhaps the only problem with
the DVD is its overabundance of content. So many interviews can get
bewildering after a while, and
Nardwuar himself can start to grate
after the first four or so hours. Still,
the DVD is an excellent package, and
certainly has enough Nardwuar to
satisfy even the most rabid fan.
Doot Doola Doot Doo... Doot Doo!
is released March 7 at a special party
in the Norm Theater at UBC.
Nardwuar himself will present his
favorite clips, and both his bands will
play. Admission is six dollars, and
well worth it. II
a go
The Ubyssey feel that we should be doing our most to
recognize and encourage activities and events that develop
and strengthen a sense of community on campus. On our
80th anniversary in 1998, we established a $50,000 endowment
that will fund the Ubyssey Community Contribution Award.
This annual award recognizes returning UBC students who
have made a significant contribution to developing and
strengthening the sense of community on the UBC campus by:
1. Organizing or administrating an event or project, or
2. Promoting activism and awareness in an academic,
cultural, political, recreational, or social sphere.
The award is open to all returning, full-time UBC students,
graduate, undergraduate and unclassified in good standing
with the Ubyssey Publications Society. For the 2006-2007
academic year, we will award a $3000 award for a project.
Deadline will be April 7 2006 and the award will be disbursed to
the successful candidate in early September 2006.
Nominees for the award will be judged on:
1. The impact of the contribution made - the number of
people involved or affected.
2. The extent of the contribution - the degree to which
it strengthens the sense of community on campus.
<••       ' ' J£*F>'^- ^-y
The innovation of the contribution <
be given to recognising a new corttributiori
administration of an existing one. ;     ? :
The commitment of the Individual to liiC^s^
community. r.
Nominations should include a cover letter by the mwom^p^ ^j'0^^
either an individual or a group, briefly stating the nature  ; ,>  ~:';-: y
of the contribution made, the individual being nominated,   ;     "'"'
contact information of the nominator and the nornihee and        ;
a letter (approximately 500 words in length) describing the      ,
contribution made and how the above four criteria have Been
Students are welcome to nominate themselves, but those doing
so must attach a letter of support from another member of the
campus community. The award will be judged by a committee
chaired by a representative of UBC Student Financial
Assistance and Awards office and members from various parts
of the campus community
Deadline for submission of completed nominations
should reach the Ubyssey Room 23, SUB, no later than
Friday, April 7, 2006. .
For further information, please contact Fernie Pereira,
Business Manager, The Ubyssey, at (604) 822-6681 or
email: fpereira@interchange,ubc.ca
■•--ux^— «* i- .***%.+*■■*• ««»«J-*a? AJrftojtwfjrZZS BU
»ewu*ai£f&?s*tt»?ttft 10 Sports
Tuesday, 7 March, 2006
Tuesday, 7 March, 2006
Sports 11
VOLLEYING FOR GOLD: The UBC women's volleyball team won
silver at the CIS nationals, yinan max wang photo
minutes and made more saves
than any other goalie in the conference.
V-Bal! women bring
home silver
The women's volleyball team couldn't quite pull off a CIS championship title in Calgary over the
weekend. UBC played against Laval
in the final game and after coming
out strong the T-Birds lost to the
Rouge et Or 3-1.
The UBC women came home
from Nationals with silver last year as
well. Shelley Chalmers finished the
game with 12 kills and seven blocks
for UBC, earning her and teammate
Emily Cordonier tournament all-star
status. Calgary pulled in the bronze.
After an impressive 19-1 regular season UBC is happy to hold the Canada
West title.
Just before heading off to Calgary
for Nationals, Doug Reimer was
named CIS coach of the year. This is
the fourth time Reimer has received
this honour; but only the first time as
coach of the UBC Thunderbirds.
Swimming to the top
Last week Brian Johns was honoured as the CIS-VIA Rail athlete of
the week. Johns is a fourth year
UBC T-Bird swimmer who has
pulled in seven gold medals this
season and helped to lead the men
to their ninth straight CIS team
title at the nationals held during
the end of February. John has
showed his drive and determination by setting two CIS meet
records, in the 200m freestyle and
the 4x100 medley relay. Johns has
accumulated 2 6 gold medals in 2 7
races at nationals so far in his
After earning swimmer of the
year awards for both the 2001-2002
and the 2002-2003 season, Johns
headed off for his second Olympic
appearance in 2004. Up next for
Johns is the Commonwealth Games
in Australia.
Play half!
This past weekend the UBC baseball
team opened NAIA Region I play by
winning 2-1 and 8-5 in a double-
header against Albertson College.
Puck awards
Denfenceman Haleigh Callison,
forward Kelly James and goalie
Lisa Lafreniere of the UBC
women's hockey team have all
been named to the Second All-Star
Team. Callison, the team captain
had an impressive offensive season leading with 12 points in 20
games. James racked up 17 goals
in 20 games, the most recorded by
a T-Bird. Lafreniere played more
Men's volleyball
Richard Schick, the UBC men's volleyball coach was named Canada
West coach of the year after helping
the T-Birds to a 12-8 regular season.
The Thunderbirds finished the conference season with a 5th place
national ranking.
Right side hitter Andrew Bonner
was awarded Second Team All-Star
honours after gaining a reputation as
one of the most ffery and talented
players in the country. Bonner averaged 3.9 kills per game for the T-
T-Birds run hard
Two UBC track and field team members met the 2006 NAIA championship entry standards this season.
Derek Vinge and Nicola Gildersleeve
will be representing UBC at the championships in late May in California.
T-Birds race the slopes
The UBC alpine ski team recently
returned from the regional championships in Steamboat Springs,
Colorado. UBCs Trevor Bruce and
Jamie Finlayson helped the men's
team to a 2nd place finish within
the region. Andrea Lustenberger
and Katie Benjamin pulled in
respective 7th and 10th place finishes for the women. The UBC
women placed 2nd in the overall
team event. Both the men and the
women head to Maine next for the
national championships.
Women's B-ball recruit
Devan Lisson of Fredericton has
confirmed her intentions to play for
the UBC women's basketball team
in the upcoming 2006-2007 season. Lisson is a six-foot guard currently acknowledged as one of the
leading high-school players in the
country. The   17 year old was in
high demand and many CIS schools
across the country inquired as to
Lisson  joining   their   programs.
NCAA league  schools  in the US
were  also interested in claiming
Lisson  as   an  addition  to   their
teams.  Lisson wanted to  stay in
Canada and chose UBC because of
the   strong   competition   within
Canada West and the opportunity to
receive a high-quality science based
education  from   the   University.
Recently named the player of the
year    in    the    New    Brunswick
Southwest   Conference,   Lisson's
current coach says she is one of the
top players he has ever worked with
during his coaching career. In both
2003 and 2004 Lisson attended the
junior national team camps. UBC
women's  basketball  coach,   Deb
Huband, is excited to receive a player of such high calibre, is
Thunderbirds clinch berth at Nationals
UBC squeaks out 73-72 win over Saskatchewan
during first game of Canada West Final Four
by Benjamin Groberman
The men's basketball team came
into the Canada West Final Four
with two goals in mind; one, to
clinch a birth at the National
Championships, and two, to win
the Canada West title.
On Friday night, before 1,600
fans, the T-Birds accomplished
goal number one, battling through
adversity to outlast a determined
University of Saskatchewan team
73-72, guaranteeing them a spot
at the National Championships.
The game was close, but the
Thunderbirds didn't do themselves any favours from the free
throw line; going a paltry nine for
22 from the charity stripe, "It's
been an issue all season," UBC
head coach Kevin Hanson said
after the game. "We have a good
one; we have a bad one; we have a
good one, and we have a bad one.
Guys just have to focus, we have to
get some more time in there; we
certainly don't dwell on it,
because it can play head games
with the shooters."
Thanks to an emphatic, last-
second shot-block by guard Chad
Clifford, the 'Birds' poor shooting
will not stop them from making
the trip east to compete for a
National title, "I thought it was a
clean block," said Clifford of his
last-second heroics. "I was just
fortunate enough to be out there
to make a play like that happen."
Free-throws were not the only
obstacle the T-Birds overcame
on Friday night, they were also
forced to finish the game without
two key players. Matt Rachar and
Ryder McKeown, who both fouled
out of the game.
McKeown expressed his disappointment with his inability to be
there for his team late in the
game, "It's just the worst; you feel
helpless, you feel like what it must
be like to be a coach, or be a fan.
And you just want it so bad, but
you can't do it for them, so you
just have to trust your teammates." Clifford reaffirmed
McKeown's trust in his teammates, "I gave Chad a big kiss on
the cheek after that game," said
The T-Birds seed at the
Nationals was determined in the
Canada West final on Saturday
and while they fell short, they can
take pride in the fact that they still
have a chance to win the National
crown, "I'm really happy for the
seniors, especially for Ryder
[McKeown], Jordan [Yu], and
Pasha [Bains]" noted Coach
Hanson, who, earlier in the week,
was named Canada West's Coach
of the year. "That they get a
chance to go to the National
Championships their last year. It's
a life-long memory for them." 11
T-Birds drop Can West title to Vikes
UBC men's basketball record tarnished
by Erik Lauder
The UBC T-Birds men's basketball
team was upset 84-74 by the
University of Victoria Vikes in the
gold medal Canada West final on
Saturday night.
Playing on their home court at
War Memorial Gym, the UBC
squad failed to match the Vikes'
tenacious defense or their second
half shooting, allowing UVic to
control the game and hang on for
an easy win.
T-Birds guard Casey Archibald-
recent Canada West MVP—led the
way for the T-Birds, scoring 23
points, while Brandon Ellis scored
22 points for the Vikings, including
a number of clutch three pointers in
the second half.
The game started slowly, with
neither side gaining a decided
advantage on the scoreboard. UBC
guard Jordan Yu heated up
towards the end of the first half,
draining ten points, including a
huge three pointer from well
beyond the arc as the shot clock
expired. Three pointers by
Archibald and T-Bird guard Pasha
Bains—recently named to the all-
stars team—helped UBC build a
34-31 lead going into the second
UVic charged out of the gate in
the second half, going on a 6-0
run, before Bains tied the game
with a tough three pointer.
However, the Vikes continued to
press, building a comfortable ten
point lead with ten minutes to go.
Ellis took over the game for the
Vikes in the second half, dropping
three pointer after three pointer
in front of Bains, whose play in
the rest of the second half was
hurt by poor shooting and sloppy
defence, before he fouled out in
the final minute.
Casey Archibald attempted to
lead a UBC comeback, scoring 15
points of his 2 3 point total in the
second frame, while UBC forward
Ryder McKeown played solid
defense down low, while chipping
in 14 points for the game.
UVic Forward Jacob Doerksen
was also strong in the post, racking up 18 points.
The loss tarnishes what was
otherwise an incredible season
for the number two ranked men's
Thunderbirds, which saw them go
20-0 in regular season play, winning the first games of the Canada
West Pacific division over the
Vikes, before falling to the same
team in the final.
Despite the loss, UBC, along
with UVic and the University of
Saskatchewan qualified for the
CIS Basketball Championship in
Halifax, as the three Canada West
representatives. The National
Championships run from March
16-19, in Halifax, Nova Scotia,
where the Canada West teams will
be joined by representatives from
Eastern Canada. «B
VIKES BATTLE TO THE TOP: Jordan Yu jumps up for a basket during this past weekend's match-up
between UBC and UVic. Yu pulled in a total of 22 points over the course of the weekend, johnson lee photo
SFU suspends aquatic
team over hazing
by Bryna Hallam
VICTORIA (CUP)-A series of games
at a party led to the suspension of
Simon Fraser University's champion
dive and swim team days before they
were to defend their national titles.
The incident, which took place
in September 2005, saw senior
members of the aquatic team singling out junior members to perform a number of acts, including
describing sexual fantasies involving other members of the team
and being photographed in sexual
positions while wearing their
team uniforms.
Nello Angerilli, the school's acting associate vice president for students, said that while ,4he events
were "by and large physically
harmless," they constitute hazing.
"Because we have a very strict
policy on [hazing], which is
explained to all members of the
swim team...the recommendation
from recreation and athletics was
we had to deal as strictly as possible with this event," said Angerilli.
Revoking their ability to compete is
meant to send a "very strong message that we're serious about this."
As a result, the team did not compete in the North America-wide
National Association of Intercollegiate Athletics championships in St.
Louis, Missouri last week. The men's
team was the defending champion
while the women's team was 2005's
In total, 19 members of the
team were suspended, including
the junior members who were
hazed. Three members absent
from the party were not suspended; however, they chose not to compete in the championships.
Angerilli said the decision to
suspend the junior members of
the team was difficult, but that the
policy is clearly explained to all
team members.
"The junior members are specifically told they should not participate in hazing because they are the
targets," he said, "and our view is
that eliminating the targets of hazing would make it much more difficult to conduct one of these
things. They were told when
they're presented with a case or a
situation where it looks like there
is going to be some sort of induction ceremony beyond what the
university sanctions  they should
refuse to participate."
According to Angerilli, the
response from members of the
team is varied: some have said they
recognise they did the wrong thing
while others believe the university
has no business in what was a private party.
"Normally they'd be absolutely
right," said Angerilli, but noted it
The incident, which
took place in september
2005, saw senior
members of the aquatic
team singling out
junior members to
perform a number of
acts, including
describing sexual
fantasies involving
other members of the
team and being
photographed in sexual
positions while wearing
their team uniforms.
was very clear that these were not
random invitees and that the
junior members were in their
The University first became
aware of the incident when head
coach Liam Donnelly received an e-
mail on January 19 that was allegedly from one of the assistant coaches,
who has since said in a sworn affidavit that he did not send it
Angerilli said the fact that the e-
mail was sent at all suggests the
hazing had a negative impact and
that the group might not be solid as
a team.
Two years ago, the aquatic team
had what Angerilli called a "behavioural problem" that resulted in a
training session on what hazing is
and why it's a bad idea and inappropriate behaviour for teams. The
organisers of this year's event had
all gone through that training.
In the future, SFU plans to
"broaden and deepen" the training
given to athletic teams in order to
prevent other incidents, ii
UBC womens basketball wins 2nd spot in final Canada West standings
Team plans to improve ranking at the CIS national championships in Fredericton this weekend
by Megan Smyth
The UBC women's basketball team
grabbed a berth to the CIS national championships during Friday's
60-55 win over Winnipeg. But
unfortunately the T-Birds weren't
able to outplay the Saskatchewan
Huskies on Saturday and subsequently only grabbed the silver
medal in the Canada West division.
On Friday, the Thunderbirds
took on the Winnipeg Wesman at
War Memorial Gym to play an
action-packed game right through
to the final minute of play. UBCs
Kim Howe shot a three-pointer to
give the T-Birds a three-point lead
as the clock ticked down.
McGuiness played a major roll
in the T-Birds' play during
Friday's game. She pulled in 28
points overall and brought UBC up
to a 5 5-5 5 point tie during the last
minute of the game.
The T-Birds kept up the pace
and were able to secure themselves a spot at nationals with
their win over Winnipeg.
The battle between the Thunderbirds and the Saskatchewan
Huskies on Saturday night seemed
more like a game of catch-up for
Although UBC went into the
second half with a five-point lead,
they were not able to hang onto
this advantage and the Huskies
were able to pull off a 70-6 5 win,
bringing the Canada West title
home to Saskatchewan.
The T-Birds' loss can be attributed to some sloppy passing and
many missed rebounds. "I think
defensively they got us out of our
rhythm," said coach Deb Huband.
"We got out-rebounded," she said
while noting that UBC has been
fairly strong on rebounds throughout the season.
Even though UBC guards Cait
Haggarty and McGuinness tried to
pull up the score for the T-Birds
with some last minute three-pointers, the outcome of the game was
already determined.
"[When] the game is on the
line, we want to try and get back
in, see if we can get ourselves in a
position to win the game. I think
we came close, but not quite close
enough," commented Huband.
"I think [the end of the game] is
a critical point for us to come
together as a team and we were
able to do it to a certain extent, but
not as much as we needed to/
explained Haggarty.
Along with McGuinness and
Haggarty, UBCs Kelsey Blair was
another top point-getter, with 11
points overall during Saturday's
game. Blair was recently named a
First Team Canada West All-Star
due to her performance throughout the season.
UBC was able to pick up the
pace near the end of the second
half and, in the spirit of good
sportsmanship, never gave up
hope or showed their displeasure
with the loss. "We showed some
good character battling it out
until the end/ said Huband.
"Saskatchewan is a good team and
they're very deserving of the win.".
"I think [Saskatchewan] executed their offense really well/ com
mented McGuinness. "They gave
us a lot to deal with defensively.
And offensively it was hard at
times to get everyone on the same
page and moving."
The T-Birds left for the
University of New Brunswick in
Fredericton yesterday and will be
playing their first CIS national
games later this week. In the 2003-
2004 season UBC won the women's
basketball national title for the first
time in three decades. The team
has high hopes this year; Huband
stated that UBC is going into the
championships with a positive
mind frame and will see what they
can do to represent Canada West IS
^^rK:,.xi^.fcya&;.VA'5igite^«HaaMs^ ./
12 Culture
Tuesday, 7 March, 2006   THE UBYSSEY
Ashcroft sets fangs into glamourpuss starsailor slave in the kitchen
The Kitchen
by Peter Clark
I was excited to hear that Vancouver
locals The Kitchen recently pressed
their first professionally-mastered
full-length because it's a treat to be
able to hear all the intricacies of their
music that you miss in their (otherwise excellent) live shows.
The self-described "funk, rock and
soul* band proves just how well such
a blend can work on this disc, utilising funk-ass riffs, breaks, bass lines
and melodies to make you wanna put
on your dancin' shoes. The album
varies from the slow-rolling grooves
of "Come On" to the soulful wiles of
"Flying* to the body-moving rhythms
But these boys don't just know
how to write an excellent song—
they're also damn fine musicians.
The band's singer, Josh Hundert, is
the star of the band, emitting a voice
you'd expect from a man at least
three times his size and The
Kitchen's stylings range from dance-
hallish rapid fire to crisp-toned
crooning. With both an acoustic and
electric guitar in the band, the melodic potentials of the songs are fully
exploited on the disc. The band's
rhythm section, which gets a chance
to show off on "This Message,* propels the funk forward in every song.
So if we could manage to drop
our post-punk power-pop pretences
for a moment, I'm confident we'd all
be able to discover a solidly talented
act with a sound entirely its own in
our city's The Kitchen. They play with
Freeflow and Smaq-u2 at The
Lamplighter on Friday Mar 24. I'm
expecting yet another good show,
and I'll tell you right now that you
can do the same.
Keys to the World
by Mai Bui
Richard Ashcroft, former singer-songwriter from the Verve, has graced the
music world with a third solo album,
the artistically ambiguous Keys to the
World. As with his previous projects,
the Brit pop-rock master makes exceptional use of orchestral refrains (courtesy of the London Metropolitan
Orchestra this time around) to add a
dash of colour to the raw, distinguished vocals. Unfortunately, Keys to
theWorldis often marred by bad poetry and bland tunes.
Nothing makes this more apparent than the empathetic ballad,
"Words Get in the Way.* Besides reeking of an attempt at REM's
"Everybody Hurts," it also contains
such laughable lyrics as "if you want
it/oh yeah I've got it/words, they just
get in the way.* What ever happened
to the Ashcroft brand of anguished
eloquence? Words never used to get
in Ashcroft's way,* at least not to the
extent that you'd think he's taking
poetry lessons from an R&B artist
I am similarly unable to take the
album's first single seriously.
"Break the Night with Colour," a
mid-tempo rocker reminiscent of
Green Day's uninspired "Boulevard
of Broken Dreams," pillages a similar melody line in the verse and
proffers lame metaphors about traveling down the lonely road of life. To
be fair, Ashcroft walks down "corridors of discontent" instead- of a
boulevard, but you get my drift.
And yet, a handful of well-crafted
tunes hint that Ashcroft might still
have it in him. The album opener,
"Why Not Nothing?" is a decent, microphone-eating, anti-establishment
anthem.  "Sweet Brother Malcolm,"
when enjoyed between stereophones
in a dark room, might be described as
naunting.' However, the album's saving grace is the second track. "Music is
Power" is full of laid-back grooves
made sweeter with an orchestral sample from Curtis Mayfield, a pleasant
throwback to the glory days of
"Bittersweet Symphony."
But as for the rest of the tracks, they
are so unmemorable that I am hardly
able to distinguish one song from
another, despite having listened to
each at least five or six rounds. Much
like the album itself, Ashcroft's compositions are neither brilliant nor terrible. Ultimately, Keys to the World lacks
the staying power achieved by a one-
two punch of lush melodies and
poignant lyrics, a potent formula the
musician once perfected, but appears
here to have since neglected.
Slave to the System
Spitfire Records
by Rueben Heredia
Slave to the System is sort of a super-
band. Featuring members from the
popular progressive metal band
Queensryche, and the (sort of) popular
hard rock band Brother Cane, the
System's self-titled debut was definitely rocking enough to inspire this closet
metal-head to air-drurn and head-bang
along to a good number of the tracks.
Fans of 90s rock bands like
Soundgarden should get a warm
fuzzy feeling of nostalgia from tracks
like "Cruise out of Control* and "Rag
Doll*—on which vocalist Damon
Johnson sounds so much like Chris
Cornell that I had to go check to see
if my copy of Superunknown was
playing instead.
The best track on the album is the
title track "Slave to the System," a
relentiess, palm-muted assault on the
senses, with a blistering solo by Kelly
Gray that truly displays his prog-
metal background. The lyrics are, as
the name suggests, typical non-conformity fare, and aren't especially
deep or meaningful, but are catchy
and fun to sing along to.
Scott Rockenfield (a cooler last
name surely does not exist), the
Drummer for Queensryche, plays
quite tastefully in slower songs like
"Abyss" and "Live this Life," while
absolutely ripping it up on the kit in
the song "Ruby Wednesday" and "Rag
Doll"; props must be given to him for
the inclusion of tabalas in the intro to
the aforementioned "Rag Doll."
In the song "Leaves," the System
pulls out the psychedelic guitar tones
for an inspired outing that could have
been a Pink Floyd tune were it not for
Johnson's vocals—that or maybe the
trippy visualisations on Windows
Media Player got to me. The final song
on the album, "Walk the Line,* is mellow, atmospheric, and most importantly, a perfect album-closer; it manages to
be heavy without using distortion, and
the lyrics give a sense of closure to the
listener (Now I leave here/and close the
door to tins room one more time/1 feel
the warm sun/ It holds me close as I
walk down the line.)
On first listen, this album left me
underwhelmed; but after repeated
listens, I truly started enjoying some
of its subtleties. I recommend it to
fans of Soundgarden, Velvet
Revolver, or Audioslave, and to anyone who misses the 90's arid wants to
be taken back to a time when
Nickelback clones and The Killers
didn't dominate the airwaves.
Bluesmans Prayer
NorthernBlues Music
by Peter Warren
Eveiything about Glamourpuss' new
CD Bluesman's Prayer is very...eclectic; so words don't come easily.
'Course I guess that's what happens
when a bunch of baby boomers from
New Brunswick all hit their mid-life
crises at the same time and decide to
form a blues band.
As weird as it is, I like this CD. It
strikes me as the kind of thing that
would be great to listen to on an endless loop following a particularly bad
breakup. These days, it's rare to be
able to listen to music and think, "hey,
these guys love what they're doing."
Glamourpuss pulls this off instantly.
From the first note you can feel the
band's passion. Blues, talent, and passion are a combination that is difficult
not to enjoy. However, I get the feeling
that these guys enjoy reveling in their
own strangeness. 111 admit that the
sudden addition of a pipe organ made
me do a double take. I was also unprepared when the band decided to
explore their Acadian roots and started singing in French. But the experimentation is truly fun to hear, and you
can't help but wonder what these guys
are going to try next
My only real complaint is with the
CD's technical aspects. This album
skips a few times. It's brand new with
no visual scratches, and I tried it out
in several different players so I'm
forced to conclude it's probably the
studio's fault. However, I'm no audio
snob so I can easily overlook this.
Unless you're one of those people
who spends an hour making sure
your stereo's bass is set to the optimal level it won't bother you.
I can't listen to this CD without getting an urge to collapse in some hole
of a bar with a bottle of cheap scotch;
but since it's a blues album I guess
that's kind of the point
On the Outside
by Melissa Woodside
On the outside, the third album from
British band Starsailor's created
much excitement upon release. But
anyone who is expecting a Coldplay-
esque sound, brace yourself—you
may be pleasantly surprised. Unlike
Coldplay, Starsailor brings an edgier
collection to the fore, with heavy
lyrics through and through.
Singer James Walsh takes the
lead vocals with catchy melodies in
the background that can resonate in
the mind long after the songs stop
playing. The band wrote their own
songs and recorded them live,
which adds to the intensity level.
Along with the sense of "urgency*
in the songs, I found this Starsailor
mix to have a relaxing element as
well, switching from soft songs to fast
songs and back again. And if you listen closely to the lyrics, they have a
surprising amount of substance
behind them. Politically charged
statements like "a war for corporate
glory re-told as a fairy story" find
their way into the second track. But
the thought-provoking lyrics manage
to deal with subjects outside of the
realm of politics as well, mulling contemplative observations on general
aspects of life.
It is relieving that some artists
can still manage to have their
music express deep feelings or
ideas without taking away from the
overall aesthetic sound. And I took
solace with the words with which
Walsh closes the album: "little
one/do not fear/the ways of the
world will soon be clear." Once
again, the lyrics fit perfectly, concluding all the lyrical questions and
statements brought up during the
course of the album.
Street Sweeper
Rectangle Records
by Jill Orsten
Twin Fangs is a punk group from
Edmonton. It consists of but two
members, Paul Coutts (formerly of
The Primrods) on guitar and
vocals, and Penny Tentiary on
drums. The album was produced
by the noteworthy Rectangle
Records (try "7 and 7 is").
The duo has a lot going for
them. The music sounds pretty
rockin' but something's moldy in
the bread-box. It's not the goal of
this Ubyssey writer to tear their
new CD apart. Street Sweeper is
kinda good, but it's just not my
cup of tea.
You see, a song will begin
rather nicely and just when you're
about to dip in your gingersnap
cookie (read: rock out) Mr Coutts
comes along and opens his mouth.
Truthfully, he's a little monotone
for my tastes, which is oddly
enough a strong selling point for
some listeners. The lyrics are a little Nirvanaesque—nice phrases
and pictures—but lacking in
coherency. That said, I have a feeling that this band would be excellent live. And perhaps with some
vocal polishing they could be a
great band. II
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Tuition is Going Up- Tuesday at Noon - Conversation Pit
The AMS presents Tuition Consultation 2006-07 with VP Students Brian Sullivan.
As you may have come to expect, the University intends to increase tuition again
next year. The nature and scope of this increase is 2 percent as directed by the
provincial Government following a few years of skyrocketing rates. The cap covers
all programs: professional, differentiated and undergrade but does not. extend to
international students. The proposed tuition hikes go for Board of Governors
approval this month, prior to which the University consults with students in order to
have our input. Please join the AMS in making this consultation meaningful and
effective. Today at Noon in the Conversation Pit, VP Students Brian Sullivan will
be presenting a breakdown of the increases and allocations and taking questions
from the floor.
Tuition Increase: Have Your Say and Win a Meal at any Fine AMS Restaurant
Tuesday on the SUB Concourse and Wednesday by the Goddess of Democracy
(that's the South side of the SUB, outdoors) the AMS will be soliciting student
feedback about the proposed tuition increases and raffling off shameless promotions
for our food outlets.
AMS Job Fair 2006!
"Bring your resumes and meet your future employers"
Introducing UBC students to prospective employers for part-time, summer,
full-time, work abroad and post grad opportunities.
March 15th & 16th. Main Concourse - Student Union Building. 1.0am to 4pm
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The Most Serene Republic
Saturday March 11/06. The Pit Pub
Doors @ 8pm. Tickets $10 available at
Ticketmaster, Zulu & Scratch
Romeo Dallaire at the
Chan Centre. Sun. March 12.06
A true Canadian hero and an outspoken leader for the 21 st Century,
Lieutenant-General Romeo Dallaire has worked to bring an understanding of
post traumatic stress disorder to the wider Canadian public. "In 2002 he
received the Order of Canada and was awarded the Governor General's
Award for his book Shake Hands With the Devil
The Chan Centre :: 8PM :: Tickets $29.75 adults, SI9.75 students
available at Ticketmaster
Weekly Events at the PIT PUB!
Mondays: NTN Poker tournament
Toonie Tuesdays: Select beer for S2.50 per sleeve
Wednesdays: Legendary Pit Night
Thursdays: CITR
Fridays: Top 40
Weekends: Bands and fundraisers
AA/IS insider Editor and Graphic Designer
The AMS is looking for a dynamic Editor and Graphic Designer to produce
the 2006/07 AMS Insider, a student agenda and information guide with a
distribution of more than 40,000. We're looking for creative, innovative, and
hardworking enthusiasts who can work well as part of a dynamic duo and
thrives under pressure. Together they determine the overall, tone, theme and
style of the publication. Must be a team players, work well underpressure,
have strong interpersonal skills and the ability to take initiative and work with
minimal supervision.
The editor is responsible for: soliciting, writing and editing content to make
the publication as informative and relevant as possible to broad'range of
students and users of the agenda Works with the Communications Planning
Group in proofing, editing, and making changes as needed.
Need demonstrated writing experience - either through published articles,
works, or samples of editing. Must be computer literate in MS Office and
Internet research, meticulous in fact-checking, proof-reading, and editing.
Prior publication experience or editorial experience an asset.
Graphic Designer
The graphic designer is responsible for pre-press production of the AMS
Insider, including graphic design, layout, advertising placement and
assistance with photography; liaising with printer/publisher to ensure delivery
based on production timelines and for providing final, delivery of materials
electronically. Works with the Communications Planning Group in making
fmal layout changes and ad placements.
Demonstrated creativity and innovation in graphic design experience -
portfolio required for interview candidates. Must be computer literate in MS
Office, PhotoShop and Illustrator. Additional experience in PageMaker,
Quark XPress, Adobe InSuite an asset. Minimum 2-3 years* experience in
the graphic design field, specifically working with publications.
Both positions are full-time between 35 - 40 hours per week, April to
August 2006 with several days in September for distribution. Flexible
hours may be negotiated, although a considerable amount of time is
spent in the AMS offices. $4,000 during pay period plus $500 for completion and $500 for distribution
See www.ams.ubc.ca for complete job
descriptions and application details.
'*.<r* 'f
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KktiM 14 Culture
Tuesday, 7 March, 2006   THE UBYSSEY
Theatre at UBC presents
Steve Martin's
PiCaSSO atthe
Lapin Agile
March 8-18  7:30PM
Opening Night March 9, Preview March 8, only $6
6354 Crescent Road, just off NW Marine drive between UBC Gates 3 and 4
TICKETS: $18 adults, $12 seniors, $10 students
BOX OFFICE: 604.822.2o78
RT $429
rt $499
RT $689
Taxes and surcharges not included. Prices valid at time of advertising deadline and may vary depending
on availability, eligibility and departure dates.  Above fares are for departures up to March 31 /06.
SUB imietLevel
:     See the world your way
r"': wwvv,travelcuts.x:orri
A monster you'd like in your closet
Performance Works Theatre
March 8-18
Think you're pretty good at improvk
sation? Have years of on-the-spot
excuses for late papers fully developed into elaborate stories with subplots and secondary characters?
Could you create an award-winning
play from an inspiration package
containing a picture of a corpse with
a dissected hand, a sound cue of a
heart rate monitor flat lining, a
crushed muskrat pelt and the line
"Who is Susan and why is she so
lazy?* Yeah, that's a bit more tricky.
But it's exactly what the Theatre
Melee troupe did last year in their
improv show entitled "Theatre
Under The Gun." The fifteen-minute
improv was such a success they
developed it into a full-length dark
comedy, which was a sell-out at last
year's Fringe Festival. And now it's
back, headlining the carnival of the
arts known as Here Be Monsters and
described as a two week showcase of
"all the bizarre, hilarious, custurbing
and beautiful that Vancouver's
dynamic independent theatre scene
has to offer."
The idea was conceived three
years ago by 'improv guru' Keith
Johnstone, and Jeff Gladstone, co-creator of "Lazy Susan" and "Theatre
Under the Gun" veteran. Owing to
some inter-theatre legal difficulties,
Johnstone was receiving some bad
press, Gladstone explained. "Keith
Johnstone was a dirty word at the
time. People were saying he was
crazy; he's lost his mind. He was a bit
of an enigma."
So when they were thinking of a
title for their new improv workshop,
the line "here be monsters," from
one of Johnstone's books, seemed to
fit. It was a comment on the tendency to downplay spontaneity because
"crazy thinking makes  crazy peo-
-Jeff Gladstone
Theatre Melee troupe member
pie." According to Gladstone, the
chance to see Johnstone's work
should attract anyone at all interested in improv:
"His work is fundamentally different to anything you'll see at other
improv places like Urban Well; it's
totally unique."
Coming from a theatrical background, Gladstone feels that improv
has been highjacked by the stand-up
comedy community, creating a joke-
a-minute formula. "We're trying to
get at the fact it's still theatre; you
need comedy and tragedy together."
Here Be Monsters also aims to
challenge traditional notions of the
atre, like caring about what the critics think. "The point of having the
spirit of a carnival as opposed to a
festival is that it's a safe place to create and explore," Gladstone explains.
"The focus here is on support and
creativity, not judgement. It's fun,
vibrant and engaging. There's no
right or wrong, good or bad."
Look out for the future Lazy
Susans in this hotbed of thespian
creativity, and you'll get the chance
to vocalise your opinion. Aiming to
offer something unique to the theatre scene, "ShowofF (Theatre
Under the Gun reloaded) will be
giving audiences the chance vote
for the best piece of improv, which
will then be remounted as an opening act for Lazy Susan the following
week. The best pieces will also be
developed into a full-length performance to show next year. "There
are a lot of good avenues to develop
playwrights, but there's not really
an institution to develop ensemble
creations in the same way,"
Gladstone explains.
As if you needed any more convincing, Here Be Monsters is aimed
at the younger generation of theatregoers, so tickets are cheap for students—$25 for an all-events pass.
Other features include Johnstone's
workshops, ehmination-style improv
Micentro Impro, and a Flaming Lips
Listening Party. So if you fancy some
cheap, high quality independent theatre, get down to Performance Works
on Granville Island from March 8-
18. Or check out http://festival.mon-
stertheatre.com/. IB
Put Your Degree to Work
If you have a university degree in any field you
may be able to obtain a BCIT diploma in one year.
BCITs advanced placement into diploma and
post-diploma business programs can fast-track
you into a career m:
Financial Management
• Advanced Accounting
• Professional Accounting
• Finance/Financial Planning
• Taxation
Tim Edwards, Associate Dean
Operations Management and
information Technology
■ International Trade and Transportation*
- Information Technology Management*
*relevant business degree required
Mary Tiberghien 604-432-8385
Business Administration
• Business Administration
• Human Resource Management
- Business Management
Liz Moran 604-451-7019
Marketing Management
• Commercial Real Estate
»Direct Response Marketing
■ Entrepreneurship
• Marketing Communications
- Professional Sales
• Tourism Management
Heidi Surman 604-432-8293
At BCIT we offer a unique blend of academic
learning and applied skills - a different path
of learning. For more information, visit
Apply now for Fall 2006
'"• •}
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THE UBYSSEY   Tuesday, 7 March, 2006
Culture 1S
Chutzpah dance confessions
Jewish Community Cultural Center
March 8-9
by Kian Mintz-Woo
Conrad Alexandrowicz is the choreographer/director for "Dance, Little Lady!"
coming to the Norman Rothstein
Theatre at the Jewish Community
Cultural Center March 8 and March 9
as part of this year's Chutzpah! Festival.
"Dance, Little Lady!" is a comical
dance performance about the
demands upon female dancers in the
patriarchal society of Western culture. Many actual stories of the performers were incorporated into
stand-up comedy style routines.
Ubyssey: What is it that originally
grabbed you about dance and physical theatre?
Conrad Alexandrowicz: Dance has
been in my family for a long time. But
it wasn't until very late that it hit me.
It hit me like a lightening bolt. Men
could be dancers.
U: How were you inspired to
choreograph and create "Dance, Little
C: I realised a number of years
ago that if I was a woman I couldn't
have had the success I've had in
becoming a dancer and a choreographer. Since there is such a shortage
of men in dance, it is much easier
for men to succeed. This piece came
from that inequity.
I approached a number of people
with whom I wanted to create a
piece. We worked together from
their stories. This is about the abuse
that people put their body through in
order to succeed in dance. Some of
that is inevitable and you need some
people who have specific physical
features to fulfill the art form. But
what happens to the individuals as
the result of this process?
The text came from different people and their stories. The script is
t realised a number
of years ago that if
i was a woman i
couldn't have had the
success i've had in
becoming a dancer and
a choreographer.
Since there is such a
shortage of men in
dance, it is much easier
for men to succeed."
—Conrad Alexandrowicz
Director and choreographer
"Dance Little Lady"
basically a play script but the results
are very confrontational.
U: How was the concept of chutzpah added to this version for the
C: Well, I feel that this play has
always been about chutzpah. If chutzpah is being courageous, or nervy,
this is a piece about being nervy
about your goals.
U: Since "The Wines of Tuscanny,"
you have begun to be widely recognised in critical circles with awards.
How do they influence your writing?
What value do these awards have
for you?
C: It hasn't influenced my writing
at all. Every time you write you feel
like it's the first time. It's terrifying
every time you enter. The awards are
only momentary gratification. People
forget about them really quickly.
Actually, (awards are] a trap. They
make you feel like you should have
more of this or more of that. So you
just have to accept them and put them
in their place, literally you put them
on your shelf, and that's it.
"Wines" was satisfying because it
had legs and it went somewhere. [It
was produced in several cities in
Canada, as well as the United States.]
"The Singer Falls Silent," which won
the Jessie award for Innovation
[2004] was particularly sad because it
died. I hope I can say this but it died
artistically the way a child dies. The
legs got taken away from it.
Usually I don't write issue-based
work but I'm a storyteller and I tell
whatever needs to be told. I think this
piece connects with the Zeitgeist. I'm
very happy we are able to do it again.
The Chutzpah! Festival is a celebration of Jewish artistic theatre and performance and it is being presented
until March 12 by the Jewish
Community Center [950 West. 41st
Ave. (at Oak St)]. Information and
schedules can be found at www.chutz-
pahfestival.com or through their ticket office at 604-257-5145. II
If you're working (or considering working)
in the financial services sector and want to
propel your career to the next level, you can
gain significant competitive advantage by
choosing this innovative, focused prograrri.
»*< £■■ 3» -P-vS a%5*
Master of Financial Risk Management (MA)
Managing financial risk is one of today's fastest growing areas in the financial
services sector. Yet there are few qualified professionals who can effectively identify
and mitigate potential downside risk by successfully implementing alternative
financial strategies. This innovative program in Financial Risk Management will
equip you with the essential tools to position yourself as a professional in this highly
specialized field, and lead to employment in areas like corporate treasury finance,
securities, foreign exchange operations, government regulatory agencies.
UBC Information Session:
Tuesday, March 7
For location information and to register:
yyyyw.sfubus5ness.ca/frminfo k*s—>
Open Letter Regarding The Coca-Cola Company's
Commitment to Water Stewardship
The Case for Action.
Freshwater has never been in greater demand for all the services it provides - from habitat to drinking
water to irrigation to commercial uses. Across the planet, the most precious, shared resource is
increasingly under stress.
The Coca-Cola Company and its worldwide bottling partners have a genuine commitment to
adequate and equitable access to water. Water is vital to us all, and there is much work to be done to
enable safe drinking water access and protect the watersheds that sustain life.
Our Commitment.
We are committed to help protect and preserve water resources - and that commitment begins at
home, in our operations. In 2004, we improved our water efficiency by 6% across our global bottling
plants. Everyday, we continue to work'hard to reduce the amount of water we use, and 2005 results
will be reported in detail in our forthcoming annual environmental report.
Making a Start.
With the guidance of environmental and public health leaders, we have begun to see where and
how we can help make a difference to this global challenge at a local level. By forging long-term
partnerships with the United Nations Foundation, the United States Agency for International
Development (USA1D), and others, we are actively working with communities and addressing our
responsibilities to do our part.
• In India, where we have faced allegations about groundwater depletion, we have redoubled our
efforts on water sustainability through investment in "rainwater harvesting" in many of our plants.
Today, we return a substantial portion of the water we use to local aquifers. We've also partnered
with local communities to set up rainwater harvesting projects that benefit the people who live
there, including a recent initiative in Lucknow.
• In Mali, in partnership with US AID, we are starting to address community water needs by installing
well hand pumps at several locations throughout the country and by working with community
groups and micro-entrepreneurs to improve water access in Bamako.
• In Kenya, as with most of the African continent, many schools lack access to safe water and
adequate sanitation. The greatest burden is born by girls who are often forced to drop out of
school. With the Millennium Water Alliance and CARE, we are introducing Safe Water Systems
in primary schools in Nyanza province.
For The Coca-Cola Company, this is just the beginning.
Learn More about Coca-Cola's progress.
Coca-Cola publishes a public report about the company's environmental challenges
and progress every year. To see a copy of our most recent Environmental Report, visit
For The Coca-Cola Company
Jeff Seabright
Vice President, Environmental & Water Resources
lu learn mote
operations, visit wv^yy.GQK
m THE UBYSSEY   Tuesday, 7 March, 2006
Culture 17
' J9
■ a'
Headbangers are people too
by Greg Ursic
In high school, everyone gave a wide
berth to the headbangers. With their
unkempt manes, pencahant for illegal substances and Judas Priest
regalia, they engendered fear. Sam
Dunn and Scot McFayden—the duo
behind Metal: A Headbangers
Journey—tackle that ascripted image
and in the process provide a fascinating look at the subculture of fans of
one of the most maligned and underrated genres in music.
But pitching the documentary
proved to be the first stumbling block.
"We really had no idea what we
were doing* McFayden admits.
"We'd never made a film before
and it was a huge subject we were
trying to tackle and they [studios]
were like 'How are you going to do
that?' and we're like 'look, it's all in
the book, we've got it all here'
[points to an imaginary book].*
A mischievous grin crosses
Dunn's face "It was a long process of
working people over—a lot of head-
locks, and noogies." Their optimism
eventually won them converts and it
was simply a matter of lining up the
interviews. How hard could it be?
McFayden grimaces. "It was
much more difficult than we thought.
Everyone always wants to know 'Who
do you have [to interview]' and we'd
say 'well, no one'." After several false
starts, they went back to Ron
Smallwood [Iron Maiden's manager]
who wrote several letters of introduction. "[Smallwood] was definitely a
catalyst to getting us the big names,"
says McFayden.
We learn soon on in the doc that
had it not been for a fortuitous fluke,
Metal may have remained an
unknown art and Black Sabbath
might still be a jazz-blues band.
"Tony [Iommi from Black
Sabbath] came up with this cord [the
infamous tritone also known as "the
devil's note"] that gave this eerie
sound," says McFayden. "The hair
stood up on his arms and he said
'that's evil' and then they had to kind
of create lyrics that matched*.
Sabbath combined the sound with
the powerful imagery that has come
to define the genre. It's ironic that
Sabbath is still credited—wrongly—
for having popularized one of its
most enduring symbols.
"Who can think of Sabbath" Dunn
asks "without an upside down cross?
But we looked at all the albums and
we couldn't find any. [But] the fans
wanted a Satanic band [because]
Satan is cooler than God, end of story,
evil is always more interesting."
That mindset has lead to more
than its share of problems: the resurgence in evangelical Christianity has
led to renewed attacks on metal,
including several lawsuits against
bands for supposedly inciting fans to
violence. Unlike the high profile
offensive of Tipper Gore's Parental
Music Resource Centre in the 1980s,
opponents  have  adopted a more
insidious approach.
"Albums sold in Wal-Mart,"
McFayden explains, "have a number
on the back of the CD saying 2 or 3, so
you have versioning without the public knowing." Dunn shakes his head
in agreement: "Like Dee Snider says
'It's worse when you don't know.'"
Dunn suddenly turns the tables
on me. "Did you like the film?" he
asks. I blurt out that I thoroughly
enjoyed it. Not wanting to sound like
a witless sycophant, I expand upon
my praise.
"I thought the heavy metal ladder
[an amazingly detailed family tree
that tracks all the metal bands and
categorizes them] was great, but it
was never on-screen long enough
and isn't on your website. Are you trying to torture us? And will it be on the
DVD?" I ask.
Apparently I'm not the first one
who was awed and frustrated.
"Everyone's been asking us [for the
tree]," says Dunn. "Our plan was to
do something interactive With the
DVD where you can move it around.
It became much more than I ever
imagined, which is great Even non-
metal fans are curious to know how
this thing fits together."
One thing that's missing from the
documentary is the stereotype of the
headbanger. Dunn's parents consider him (he has an MA in Anthropology
by the way) to be the anomaly.
"They're like you played on the
basketball team, you were valedictorian, you were well rounded'...and I'm
like you know what, I'm not as much
as an exception as you think I am.'"
Dunn is quick to point out the "grain
of truth in every stereotype, but it's
only a grain." He adds: "we filled out
the rest of the sandbox."
So what do they want audiences to
take away from the film? After a few
moments reflection, Dunn offers,
"It's about, reshaping people's perspectives about metal and presenting
it in a way that they hopefully haven't
thought about.* McFayden lets a fan
at a post-screening Q&A have the
final word.
"In Halifax a guy got up and
said, 'Thanks for making a film that
for once didn't make us look like
freaks!' The way he said it—he just
stood up and said it—that was such
a visceral response and just
summed up the movie." II
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with student tax preparation
medium Domino's Pizza
Come in today or call 1-800-HRBLOCK
!To qualify, student must present either (i) a T2202a documenting 4 or more months ot full time attendance at a college or university during 2005 or (ii) a valid high school identification card. Offer and coupon expire June 30,2006. Coupon valid for a medium one-topping pizza only at participating H&R Slock locations in Canada. 1 ft Opinion/Editorial
Tuesday, 7 March, 2006   THE UBYSSEY
'<?*%'{   ^?35T    W%%    WW
MA wA %*A ml
While you were watching the Oscars
While many people's  eyes were
glued to  the  small  screen last
Sunday,   entranced   as   the   big
screen idols preened and fawned
at the biggest Hollywood wankfest
of the year—the Oscars—the rest of
the world didn't stop turning. In
fact,  while  Charlize,  Reese,  and
that girl  from Dawson's  Creek
donned  their  diamonds,   curled
their hair, and applied tear-hardy
mascara, a man was set on fire,
the US government applied further pressure on Iran to stop producing nuclear weapons  and  a
number of German cats were cruelly abandoned by their owners.
The fist goes on. So in case you
spent most of Sunday following
the Oscar action—perhaps laughing as Jennifer Garner almost fell
on her face?—we're here provide a
short fist of some  of the  other
goings-on in the world that day.
Man set on fire
While we might wish that Naomi
Watt's skin-coloured creation had
gone up in flames before she had
the chance to fugly up the Oscar
stage, one man in Boston
Massachusetts really did find out
what it was like to be set on fire
Sunday night.
The 30-year-old homeless man
was asleep in a park when two
miscreants began kicking him and
later returned to drench his pants
in flammable liquid. The mayor
has pledged that the assailants will
be found and prosecuted.
Ethnic cleanser commits
Milan Babic, convicted of ethnic
cleansing during the Balkan Wars,
committed suicide Sunday
evening. Three weeks earlier he
had acknowledged his remorse for
the crimes stating it was a "pain
that I have to five with for the rest
of my life."
We find it hard to say that any
of the Oscar losers can chalk up
their experience as being anywhere similar to this type of
$67 billion BellSouth buy
top Oscar movies Crash. Walk the
Line, Capote, Syriana, _ie Constant
Gardener and Brokeback Mountain
were to merge the paltry amount
in comparison would still be $ 164
billion short of the wealth of
Nota bene: Dolly Parton's ongoing plastic surgery expenditures
may have cost as much as the
BellSouth buyout. But who's
Muslim cartoon protest
Just as Joan Rivers was preparing
to make her protest list of worst-
dressed on the red carpet, 50,000
protestors gathered in the southern Pakistani city of Karachi to further protest the continued publication of the controversial cartoons
that began in Denmark. They were
joined by 20,000 protestors who
Aiai   expanded
U..ICJU        LCld
phone     flooded the streets of Turkey.
empire by spending $67 billion to
merge with BellSouth Corp.
Already owners of most of
Cingular, AT&T hopes to buy out
the rest of the telecommunication
companies and streamline management across the boards. This
makes AT&T the leading market
share owner, controlling assets of
$ 165 billion. The next highest is a
company called Verizon, coming
in at $99 billion.
If the box-office revenues of the
Idiots dump cats to prevent
World Cup cancellation
After a tomcat was found to have
bird flu last week, many Germans
fear that their pets may also have
the deadly virus. While people
were warned to keep their pets
indoors, many just dumped their
feline companions at the local animal refuge, claiming that the animals were loose strays. According
to reports, the discovery of bird flu
in the area might, possibly,
maybe, in an extreme case, cause
the World Cup finals in the country to be cancelled.
At the Oscars however,
Americans seemed to continue to
support their animal friends, especially those of the foul variety as
Paris Hilton strutted in her
hideous peacock-feathered dress.
US gov't warns Iran about
On the same day that Jon Stewart
made jokes about tearing down
the giant Oscar statue on the
stage of the Kodak Theatre in
order to bring democracy to
Hollywood, the US government
issued further warnings to Iran,
telling them to stop their nuclear
program. This latest pressure
precedes a 3 5-nation international Atomic Agency governing
board meeting.
This was just a few hours before
Canadian writer and actor Paul
Haggis (of Due South fame) had his
mic cut off and the fights turned out
as he delivered his acceptance
speech for the best original screenplay, for the movie Crash.
Ah, if only we could do the
same with those pesky nukes.
Then we'd have a lot more time on
our hands for—you guessed it-
next year's Oscars. II
Ask Coach Steph
Ask Coach Steph is a bi-weekly
advice column appearing in the
Ubyssey. If you have a question
pertaining to life management,
career preparation, self
actualisation or just need
general advice email
Stephanie Tait is a Personal
and Professional Leadership
Coach who works with young
professionals helping them
create the lives and careers they
truly desire. Visit
for more information.
Dear Coach Steph,
You wouldn't beheve how much I
have on my plate right now—it's
insane! Full-time school, part-time
work, volunteering, you name it.
You can pretty much forget about
the social life (let alone love hfe!). I
honestly have no idea how I'm
going to get it all done. I know
we're nearing end of term and all,
and I should just suck it up, but
I've just got so much going on this
year I'll be lucky if I can even crawl
across the finish hne! Any advise
to help me make it through?
Dear Fran,
Many people think their stress is
caused by external forces, such as
their workload and other day-today responsibilities. And it's easy
to beheve that if you just got rid of
these things then you'd find the
peace of mind you're looking for.
But have you ever passed a test,
signed off from a work shift, or
even completed a really major
project,  and still felt stressed? I
sure have. Why is this?
Our stressful feelings are created by our thinking. They are
created by internal forces, not
external ones. If you think overwhelming thoughts, you'll feel
overwhelmed. If you think about
something stressful, you'll feel
stressed. It's that simple. While
your busy life may seem like the
culprit to your stress, it's really
how you think that creates the
feelings you're having.
Try it out yourself. When you
start worrying about not having
enough time for all you've got
going on in your hfe, notice what
you are thinking. Any similarities?
Chances are, your physical reality
is simply a reflection of how you
are thinking about it.
Your stressful feelings can feed
into you thinking even more
unproductive thoughts, such as
how you're always behind schedule or never have enough time.
These thoughts will give you added
stress, make you more overwhelmed and stop you dead in
your  tracks   (keeping you  from
even  crawling  across  the  finish
line, for example!).
Here's how to break the cycle:
1. Be guided by your feelings.
When you notice yourself feeling
negatively, check in with what and
how fast you're thinking.
2. Upgrade your thoughts.
When you identify which thoughts
are producing negative feelings
in you, stop thinking them. Adopt
a more resourceful and empowered mindset by consciously
choosing which thoughts you will
give energy to.
3. Live in the present. You've
got a lot going on in your life right
now. But working faster and harder will only create more stress and
when this catches up to you, less
productivity. Rather than thinking
about everything you've got to do,
focus on the one thing you're
doing in that moment.
Learning how to eliminate your
stress by managing your thoughts
takes time and practice. Don't beat
yourself up in the process of learning. Otherwise, you're right back
where you started! II
If you could create
your own award, what
would it be and who
would you give it to?
"Silliest drunken nightmare. The
award would go to Emily Angus-
she broke her finger."
—Nicole Hartman
Biopsychology 3
"The coolest person. And I'd give it
to myself."
—Kent Rahman
History 3
"If it was a touchy and sentimental
one I'd give it to my parents."
— Victoria Lai
Biology 2
How about an award for rest ire h
in environmental studies? Who
would I give it to? Suzuki comes to
—Sony a Wynnyk
ESL certificate
"Probably Greatest Pit Pub star of
all time. To Ryan Glanville. I think
he's chalked up the most hours in
the pit ever."
—Sam Boateng
Biology 4
—Streeters coordinated
by Simon Underwood
■•.<«*«<■■ THE UBYSSEY  Tuesday, 7 March, 2006
Culture 19
More truth in the title than most films
Now playing
by Peter Warren
Strong acting makes this a hilarious character piece. Which is good, because it has
absolutely no plot.
This movie is about people making a
movie adaptation of the supposedly
unfilmable novel Tristram Shandy. Anyone
who has ever read the novel knows that it
doesn't exactly follow the traditional plot-
based framework found in most adaptations. At times, Shandy is so plotless it is
borderline psychotic. And the film does it
absolute justice. The story is bizarre and disjointed, but that's the whole point. Laurence
Sterne's neurotic characters blend quite
nicely with the modern addition of self-
absorbed actors.
Actor Steve Coogan is absolutely masterful. One wonders how far his acting abilities
can be  stretched  as  he  plays  the  smug
Tristram Shandy, the neurotic Walter
Shandy, and a rather paranoid version of
himself— and occasionally all three in one
scene. It's almost impossible not to laugh at
this man. Whether he is pretending to have
read the novel his movie is based on, or
trapped, naked, upside-down in a giant plastic womb, he is certain to greatly amuse.
The combination of time periods seems a
bit strange at first, but it becomes clear that it
is necessary to make the story understandable. The characters arguing on the set explain
some of Sterne's obscure jokes and human
commentary. They also allow for amusing
comparisons between experiments on
Pavlov's dog and sex in the eighteenth century.
The one weak aspect of this movie is that
the scenes based on Sterne's original work
are superior to those set in the modern
world. At times one wishes that they were
watching the fictional movie being made
rather than the movie within a movie.
Luckily the cast is so strong that it quickly
becomes apparent that they are ridiculous
no matter what century they are in. This
film is not to be missed. II
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Your World Right Now
*Phone prices available only on subscription to a new 36-month service agreement. Offer subject to change without notice. Available at participating locations. **MP3 bonus offer available on select handsets while
supplies last. Offer subject to change without notice. See in store for details. iTunes* is a registered trademark of Apple Computer. Inc. The WALKMAN* logo and symbol are registered trademarks of Sony
Corporation. ™Rogers, Rogers Wireless, the Mobius Design and Your World Right Now are trademarks of Rogers Communications Inc., used under license. © 2006
Seven Oaks Shopping Center
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,V{t 20 Culture
Tuesday, 7 March, 2006   THE UBYSSEY
The sexua
Sex party leader discusses the
politics of lust with the Ubyssey
by Carolynne Burkholder
John Ince knows sex. For the past
2 5-years the former lawyer has dedicated his life to sex activism,
advocating a sex-positive position
that he believes will combat social
Although he has "always had a
fascination with sex/' Ince began
his sex-positive campaign in the
early 1980s after realising that sex
activism was a natural extension of
environmentalist principles.
"Until a culture heals the sexual
wound, it will never deal with the
environment/' he explained.
Over two decades later, he is the
leader of the Sex Party, a political
party that fights for sex-positive
policies; the author of The Politics
of Lust, a thought-provoking look at
human sexuality; and the co-
founder of a local store selling erotic material, The Art of Loving.
Despite his accomplishments,
Ince still has many goals to increase
society's sexual awareness.
"It's about communicating more
openly about sex, it's about being
less inhibited sexually," he said.
"Most of us eat a bland diet. If our
sex life was compared to our eating
life it would be described as a continual meal of meat and potatoes."
But sex, to Ince, is more than just
what happens in the bedroom—it
has a political dimension as well.
"It has to do with decreasing
inhibitions and expanding our erotic potential, but it also has political
significance," he explained. "I'm not
just working to make society happier sexually. It's to make society
more democratic and egalitarian."
Ince outlines his views in The
Politics of Lust. "It argues that the
more fearful a society is about sex,
the more it will embrace social
inequality," said Ince. He adds that
in cultures where sex is feared, the
status of women is lower, racial
and economic divisions are more
prevalent, and there is more
"The last prejudice that any
developed democracy deals with is
the prejudice against sex," said
Ince. He believes this to be the case
because sexuality is truly universal:
"The wider a prejudice is in society the harder it is to see."
Ince and his colleagues at the
Sex Party are working to combat
these prejudices.
Specifically, they advocate "getting rid of sex negative laws and
social policies in our media, in our
law, in our church policies, in our
schools. And then more comfort -
on a personal level...ultimately so
according to John
LET'S TALK ABOUT SEX:   Lawyer, journalist, business-owner, author, and sex advocate, John Ince is
one of Vancouver's most respected sexperts. yinan max wang photo
people could be more creative and
Ince is also developing a comprehensive sex-positive curriculum for high school students.
Currently, "sex education is really
aimed at harm reduction, not
pleasure enhancement," he said.
He   also  protests  the  lack   of
media coverage on sex, the censorship of sexual language and advertisements, and especially the digitisation of genitals on newscasts.
He compares this to "digitising the
head of a Muslim because we
don't want to see a head scarf."
Ince believes* that "concealing a
part of the body conveys a toxic
message about it."
After 2 5 years, sex still remains
a priority for Ince.
"Sex is so much more significant than just orgasm and arousal
because really we're playing at the
core of culture," he explained.
"That is why I'm so fascinated
by it." II
1 act to end all forms of inequality
based on the ideas of gender, sexual
orientation, age, ability, race, ethnicity,
religion and socioeconomic status.
I promote the critical examination
of ideas and social structures.
I am committed to individual
choice and self-determination.
I believe in the potential of
every person.
I Create an environment
where it is safe to question the
status quo.
:Actess^.Diversity."; 'i V'^v
: www.studmts.ub c .• ca /access
Centre;for Women's and BenderStu^ies
www. wmst:ube;c£?:^,.'.•■'■''■"/        /■/ ■ ■■..■
Women's; Studies ; ■ ;•';■:
wwwws. a rtsiXjbcca
*-SI.**-. t *;r'«'


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