UBC Publications

UBC Publications

UBC Publications

The Ubyssey Apr 4, 1984

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WW^^r^WU\A^yi^^Ul^^^^VWW^^VW^A^^U^MMM^WLMA^V^^nAMAMJ Page 2
Wednesday, April 4, 1984
An interview with Brian Mulroney.
In a recent interview with the new leader
of the Progressive Conservative Party,
we asked seven key questions. His
answers to these questions will be of
interest to every young Canadian.
Question: Mr. Mulroney, both in your
leadership campaign and in your
speeches since last June, you have stressed the need for improved, productivity
and a serious research ana development
strategy. What precisely does that mean
for Canada's youth?
Brian Mulroney: The answer can be expressed in three words: jobs, investment,
and growth. Jobs because employment
opportunities for Canada's 545,000 unemployed youth can only be secured
in sectors with a real future. Investment
because research and development, that
is expenditure in new products, new
ideas, new processes, provides the basis
of tomorrow's winning sectors. Growth
because without it, there is no basis for
making our way in the world, for tackling
the tragedy of 1.6 million unemployed
Question: Is there anything specific you
would do to get jobs for youth?
Brian Mulroney: We will provide increased incentives to employers to hire
and train young people. A Progressive
Conservative government will significantly expand wage subsidy programs, such
as the career access program. We will also
substitute a program of refundable
employer tax credits, to credit employers
with a portion of their income, or federal
payroll taxes, where they agree to hire
and train young people for a fixed period.
We will greatly improve existing ''information exchanges" through which young
people become aware of job opportunities. Clearly, as job displacement centers,
the Canada Employment centers are not
performing adequately. And we will institute programs specifically designed to
address chronic unemployment which
tragically plagues certain regions of
Question: Is our record in R & D really
so bad?
Brian Mulroney: Just look at the figures.
Under 15 years or Liberal rule, we actually
reduced our spending on R & D from
1.29 to 1.13 of total GNP. All of our industrial competitors are spending almost
double that, while Japan has a goal of
spending 3%. Put it this way: there is one
company in West Germany spending
more on research than all of Canada combined! The Progressive Conservative
Party is committed to increasing our
R&D commitment to 2.5% of GNP.
We've got a lot of ground to make up in
the technology race.
Question: How does R&D relate to our
unemployment crisis?
Brian Mulroney: Someone once told me
that while love makes the world go round,
research and development makes it go
forward. The National Research Council
estimates that for every additional
one per cent of GNP committed to R & D,
800,000 jobs are created. Look around at
the sectors which are growing: pharmaceuticals, computers, electronics, biotechnology, telecommunications. These
are all sectors where the R&D component
of spending is very high. They are also the
sectors creating new jobs.
Question: IsR& D important only for
high tech sectors?
Brian Mulroney: On the contrary, R&D
is important for every sector, including
traditional sectors like forestry, mining
and agriculture. Look at how our enormous productivity improvement in
agriculture has been assisted by our research efforts in disease control, pesticides, weather prediction and animal
husbandry. That's why I say the real
challenge facing Canada is to apply new
technology in old as well as new
Question: You are almost calling for
shock treatment to our economy.
Brian Mulroney: When 545,000 young
people are out of work, when we have a
negative balance of trade in high technology goods of more than $7.5 billion,
I recognize a crisis at hand. We must
formulate a dramatic, innovative, and
long-term tax system to increase investment in technology. We must assure that
meaningful jobs exist for our youth.
Question: You seem to have a personal
interest in this subject.
Brian Mulroney: Anyone interested in the
future of this country or the world at
large has to take a personal interest
These new technologies-silicon chips,
satellite technology, biotechnology and
the like-are having a profound effect on
our society. They are both a curse and a
blessing. But I think that when we can
get our government programs relevant
again, we can get real growth and jobs
for our people.
For further information about the
P.C. Party or your P.C. Campus
Association phone (613) 238-6111 or write:
P.C. Youth Information, Suite 200,
161 Laurier Ave. West, Ottawa,
Ontario KIP 5J2 Wednesday, April 4,1984
Page 3
Jesus was a radical and that is what we are.
We are radicals for Jesus. We want to turn
this town upside down for Jesus. "
—Maranatha founder Bob Weiner
Paducah, Kentucky, 1972
Bob Weiner steps boldly onto the stage.
His gold ring flashing in the light, he smiles,
his heavenly smile.  Some  50 well-dressed
students gathered, at the front of the stage
begin to raise their arms toward the founder.
"Praise the Lord," says Weiner. "Amen.
Thank you, Jesus!"
Build an army for God, they sing, clapping
and stamping. For opening prayer, students
are herded by Maranatha elders into even
rows in the middle of this large, theatre-like
room at UBC. They hold hands. Weiner
urges them to have faith in themselves and in
"I want you to look into my eyes and I'll
tell you something that'll get you excited,"
he says. "Everyone is this room is special —
you have a destiny. God has a plan for every
person and every university student. Amen."
Weiner's delivery is fast. He speaks almost
non-stop for two hours, the words rolling off
his lips. Words and phrases are frequently
repeated, sentences punctuated with an
"Amen!" It is an intensely draining presentation.
The students appear to enjoy the talk.
They look earnestly at Weiner and smile,
perhaps contemplating salvation.
They have come to hear they have the
power to change Canada — the world is
within their grasp. Weiner predicts the
religious revival sweeping the U.S., which is
drawing thousands of university students into
the Maranatha fold, will soon sweep Canada.
"Righteousness, peace and God — that's
what we're going to bring to university campuses. We need the spirit of might to turn this
country around."
The message is simple and direct: students
should devote themselves 100 per cent to
Jesus. They should be Christians first,
students second. God must be the final
authority in their lives.
Maranatha Serves Up
Jesus On A Platter
Weiner and the growing group of UBC
Maranathas have even greater expectations.
They want to convert international students
studying here in the hope they will spread the
Maranatha word when they return to their
"God's called you internationals to preach
in your nation, amen. If God's called you to
preach, don't worry about your parents paying for your four-year degree. How dare you
not come to Jesus if you're called to be a
member of His body!"
Bob Weiner, director of 60 Maranatha
campus ministries in the U.S., three in
Canada and scores of others across the globe,
emanated success last week at UBC. He's
come a long way since he established the first
Maranatha Christian Centre in  Paducah,
Kentucky, and plans to go a lot further. A
glossy magazine available at his speech has a
prominent photo of a smiling Ronald and
Nancy Reagan. The text reads: "I know that
the young people whose lives you have
enriched with your ministry will become
splendid citizens and responsible caretakers
of our heritage of liberty." Weiner wants to
plant the Maranatha seed on every Canadian
campus by Dec. 31, 1985.
Maranatha — it means "Come, Lord
Jesus" — is on the move. But to plant a lot
of seeds, you can step on a lot of toes.
Maranatha ministries at the universities of
Waterloo and Toronto were treated
suspiciously by student bureaucrats and some
campus chaplains, who questioned their tactics and sources of funding.
Their activities even came to the attention
of the Council On Mind Abuse, an organization opposed to cults, who reported calls
from parents seeking advice on coping with
their offspring's detachment after joining
At UBC, a campus chaplain says he
received several complaints from upset
students, parents and counsellors after
Maranatha's recruitment drives in September
and March. Rev. George Hermanson says he
is disturbed by the Maranathas' targeting ot
international and first year students. Unsuspecting and lonely at the beginning of the
school year, harried and worried during exams, they are two groups vulnerable to being
preyed upon, he says.
The Maranathas tried to obtain the names
and addresses of UBC's 900 foreign students
from International House's list last summer,
as well as a computer listing of first year
students from the university's registrar. The
requests were refused, both denials citing
UBC's policy "to deny requests for access to
student information to clubs which have a
sectarian or political affiliation."
International House director Rorri
McBlane says he had reasons other than
policy for his refusal. "We're concerned
about people being manipulated at a
vulnerable time in their life. New students
can be disoriented."
At the same time, Maranatha members
volunteered as host families, to provide lodgings to students new to Vancouver, but the
International House director was reluctant to
accept their offer. McBlane said he did not
want international students welcomed by a
group which "misrepresented" its activities.
(The Maranathas had previously held a
welcoming reception for first year and international students, advertising that all of
UBC's Christian clubs were sponsors. Several
Christian groups, including the Newman
Club, Lutheran Student Movement, and Student Christian Movement, were not at all involved.)
It is Maranatha's loud and aggressive style,
See page 5: GROUP Page 4
Wednesday, April 4,1984
Arms race threatens world
The arms race is not a simple task
to investigate. The issues are complex, the terminology is esoteric and
data can seem overwhelming at
times. Naturally, this can make it
difficult to try to form an accurate
picture of the status of the nuclear
race and what can be done to
reduce the threat of nuclear an-'
Oxford University Press
The book With Enough Shovels
by Robert Scheer, illuminated much
of the Reagan administration's
frightening attitudes and plans.
Another recent book, Michael
Sheehan's The Arms Race, sheds a
similar light on the wider aspects of
modern war strategies.
Sheehan's professional goal is
providing the reader with a solid
overview of the dynamics of the
arms races. Overall, he provides
some of the clearest explanations of
this complicated field that I have
come across.
After an initial discussion of arms
races and military power in general,
the author explores specific facets
of the problem. He looks at the
superpower rivalry, nuclear proliferation to other countries, the
arms races in space and in Europe,
and he concludes by examining the
prospects for avoiding war.
There are numerous charts supplementing the text that clearly
show comparisons between the U.S.
and Soviet submarine-launched
Sheehan has gone to great lengths
to give an impartial picture of the
arms race, and he therefore punctures a lot of myths along the way.
He seems to be fair in assessing
both the Russian and the American
outlook, citing both of them for
propaganda and misleading
The author makes an important
distinction between disarmament
when numbers of weapons
decrease, and the current attempts
at arms control.
MOVIES $2.00
Just show your student I.D. card
Box Office Video
2009 W 41st Ave.
The following will be deconstituted as of
April2, 1984 for failing to comply with AMS
Clubs Regulations.
Agriculture Engineering Club
Baltic Association
Bhakti Yoaa Club
Biochemistry Stud. Assoc.
Biology Club
Bridge Club
Canada Conf. of Engineers
Can. Crossroads int'l
Canoe Club
Carribean Students Assoc.
Charlie Matheson Society
Chinese Martial Arts Club
Collegiate Adventists for Better Living
Committee Against Racist & Fascist
Counselling Students' Assoc.
Electrical Engineering Grad Students
English Students Assoc.
Farmworkers Support Group
Fine Arts Dept. Club
Fine Art Grad Students Club
Fitness Club
Franklin Society
Friends of the Armadillos
Games Club
Gen Sie
Graphic Society
Gymnastics Club
Hispanic Cultural Workshop
Historical Dance Club
Japan Karate Assoc.
Kendo Club
Latter Day Saints
Mature & Returning Students
Pacific Rim Development
Phi Delta Theta Social
Philosophy Student Union Pins
Sociallenic Club
Students int'l meditation Soc.
T'ai Chi Club
Tournament Club
Trotskyist League
Western Canada Concept Club
AMS Clubs Commissioners
SUB 246, 228-2361
Sheehan writes: "Unlike disarmament, the essential element in
arms control is restraint rather than
reduction." As the Strategic Arms
Limitation Talks agreements showed, arms control treaties can easily
allow the parties to increase their
nuclear strength as long as it
doesn't go beyond an agreed point.
The best that he hopes for in the
1980's are "measures which reverse
the direction of the amrs race, while
preserving the essential stability of
the balance of the power system,
thereby providing adequate security
at lower levels of expenditure of
precious human resources."
This message may seem too timid
to many, and Sheehan doesn't
make a major effort to prove his
case. But he contends that as long
as states rely on military force, not
much more can be realistically expected.
"trade shows
"training sessions
"sales meetings
Intramural Sports
School of Physical Education and Recreation;
Athletics and Sport Services;
Alma Mater Society
The Intramural Sports Program is conducting a marketing survey to aid us in offering you a better Intramural Sports Program in 1984-85. We ask your assistance in
helping us by taking a few moments to fill out this questionnaire.
1. I have taken part in UBC Intramural Sports in the past.
2. I have not taken part in UBC Intramural Sports but I have heard
about it.
3. I have not heard about the Intramural Sports Program at U.B.C. I
know nothing about it.
If you answered YES to #1 or #2, please answer Question #4.
4. I heard about Intramural Sports through:
posters □
registration week □
friends □
other (please specify)   	
5. The local radio station I most often listen to is:
6. I listen to the radio during these times:   	
7. I think Intramural is:
a) too competitive
b) a good place to meet friends
c) only for Phys. Ed. students
8. Other comments about UBC Intramural Sports:
SPORTSWEAR: I think Intramural Sportswear is:
1) reasonably priced
2) too expensive
I think that the UBC BOOKSTORE is a convenient location to buy
Intramural Sportswear.
SKI PACKAGES: I would take advantage of Intramural SKI VACATIONS:
1) on my own
2) with friends
3) with my faculty, fraternity, club, residence, etc.
PUBLICATIONS: Have you seen ads in
In the Thunderbird Review?
In the Intramural Sport Report Newsletter?
a) How do you get to campus?
— live on campus	
— car	
— bus	
— bike  	
— other (please specify)
Your age?	
(1st, 2nd, 3rd, etc.)
□        Female    □
Please complete and drop into the nearest Intramural survey box located in these
areas by Friday, April 6th — 3:00 P.M.
— (2) SEDGEWICK LIBRARY by main entrance and outside turnstile
— (2) MAIN LIBRARY at entrance and card catalogue
— (2) S.U.B. Main Concourse by entrances
— (1) by S.U.B. Cafeteria turnstiles
RESIDENCE entrances.
Thank you very much. Wednesday, April 4, 1984
Page 5
Group dishes out American way
From page 3
the carnival preaching, which distinguishes
them from other fundamentalists, says Hermanson.
The Maranathas equate God with
America the Beautiful, he says, supporting
the free enterprise ideology by "selling
religion like soap."
"Now, if you believe in Jesus, you have to
believe in Reagan." Their gospel and the
American way become the only true roads to
salvation, he adds.
Hermanson, who administers to the
Anglican and United communities on campus, says a few parents reported disturbing
changes in their sons and daughters'
behaviour after they joined the sect.
"Maranathas were telling students how
they ought to run their lives. Their leadership
was discouraging questions, claiming
authority to do this from the scriptures. They
told students what they should study, how
long they should study, and whom they
should marry."
Marantha's statement of covenant insists
that new members consult older Maranatha
members assigned to them before making
major decisions. This shepherding creates a
hierarchial system which demands the continued development of new leaders. So there
are regular leadership conferences in the
U.S., and a weekly agenda can be crammed
with meetings.
Dedicated members at UBC meet four
times a week on average: Sundays for evening
celebration, Mondays for Bible study,
Wednesdays for noon celebrations, and
Thursday for home group fellowship.
But Hermanson warns that their methods
are no excuse for persecuting the group. "We
want an educational process about
Maranatha; we don't want a witch hunt."
Former student administrator Alan Pinkey
found himself facing that dilemma while in
office: personally having "moral objections"
to Maranatha practices, while fearing an
abuse of his power.
"It's a bull I never grabbed by the horns,"
he admitted recently. "They're a problem I
left unchecked."
When Maranatha members preached outside SUB during noon hour, Pinkey, as Alma
Mater Society administration director, would
receive a handful of complaints.
"We have a number of people who cruise
into the business office and say: 'Can't you
get rid of these assholes?' Other students just
don't complain; but what (the Maranatha)
do is annoying."
Copies • Binding
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kinko's copies
5706 University Blvd
Vancouver, B.C.
Pinkey, who says he personally objects to
their preying on the lonely, would not bar
their lunchtime preaching since his jurisdiction only covered SUB and the five feet surrounding the building.
The day after Weiner's speech, the
Maranathas staged one of their bigger events
since touring evangelical minister Rice
Broocks visited campus three years ago. They
preached, sang and clapped. One danced
about SUB plaza, gesturing to the religious
radically differ from other church groups, he
added, because their doctrine is Christ centred and the group cooperates with UBC's
other Christian clubs.
"Cults are exclusive; the leader says, 'Hey,
we're really the only way to God.' " He says
the Maranathas make no such claim.
Most members of UBC's evangelical
groups interviewed, including the
Charismatic Christian Fellowship and Inter
Varsity Christian Fellowship, agree. Some
Praise Hit Imil flntfcit! €hank gan JesusI
fraise iltE lord! Hmtnl €haitk gou fcsusl
music. Students mostly ignored the event.
The Maranathas declined to be interviewed
by The Ubyssey. Two interviews were
scheduled last week, but both were cancelled
by them on the last day.
Not all campus groups feel the Maranathas
are disruptive. Rod Aim, staff advisor for
Campus Crusade for Christ, says the
Maranathas have added an exciting dimension to UBC's Christian scene.
Although he admits they are "zealots" in
their preaching, he says the Maranathas are
not cultish. Maranatha's teaching does not
say the group's aggressive recruiting style
pales in comparison to those used by groups
such as the Moonies, and that the
Maranatha's staff workers are sincere,
honest people drawing students to Christ, not
cult leaders brainwashing recruits with confusing doctrine.
Mark Ferguson, president of University
Christian Ministries, says religious groups
should commend the Maranatha's street
evangelism because of their speakers'
courage. Although the preaching style embarrasses students who are not used to such
i openness, the method was common in Jesus'
time, he says.
"I think if you look at the Scriptures,
Jesus was a street evangelist and so were the
prophets. They were flogged and stoned. If
people are offended by those preaching on
SUB plaza, why don't they challenge the
speakers out there and ask questions?
"We're not all called to be cookie-punch
Christians," says Ferguson, but "sometimes
I think I should be more like the people in
Maranatha in my commitments."
There is no question the Maranathas are
committed. Weiner and his self-proclaimed
radical band believe in what they preach.
As he asks the students at the gathering last
week to bow their heads and close their eyes,
he begins to talk softly about letting Jesus
enter their hearts and rule their lives. The
true believers let their bodies sway to the
sound of his voice.
"Come to Jesus. He's wrapping his arms
around you. Amen. Jesus, I love you. Lord,
come into my heart. Thank you for taking
thousands of pounds of sin from my heart.
Weiner leads the group in prayer. He offers three prayers. Those who choose one of
the three, instead of their own, are called to
the stage. Surrounded by 20 fidgeting, self-
conscious students, Weiner asks each in turn
why they chose to pray the one they did. One
by one they confess to being concerned they
identified more as students than as Christians. They all promise to change their ways.
One student blinks back tears. Weiner
takes his hand, urging him to gather strength
from the Lord.
The founder demands the students listen to
Jesus. Baskets for collection are quickly
dispatched as Weiner says: "If Jesus tells you
to give money, then do it. If he tells you to
give $500, then do it."
The meeting draws to a close. Hanked by
his disciples, Weiner returns to his seat. As
students rise to leave, Maranatha leaders
swarm around them and descend on those attending for the first time. They quickly
engage them in conversation.
One big warm handshake follows another.
Some are prolonged. The leaders stare intently into the students' eyes, prodding them with
questions about their school work, family
and ambitions. All wish success, and one or
two grab a hand for a friendly squeeze before
Earlier, Weiner had said, "This campus is
the Lord's. This campus will never be the
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Call Monday-Saturday 684-3094 or 684-4719
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Special Discounts for Students
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Maranatha Christian Club Page 6
Wednesday, April 4, 1984
after Classes..
A Dinner and Dance Special
Student Night
Enjoy Caesar's for Dinner
Afterwards visit Brandy's
- Great music
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(Bring Student I.D.)
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The only place you can get excellent vegetarian and non-
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in & around the world in 80 ways
We have a treasure hunt too!
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2 'Great' Restaurants
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Brunch — Sundays & Holidays
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TEL. 224-1313 Wednesday, April 4, 1984
Page 7
onf essions of
a teenage
tabloid hack
The last time Vancouver's two
dailies shut down, back in
November, 1978, the excitable,
young staff of this paper heralded
themselves as "Vancouver's
Largest Newspaper" on their front
page. That was true for the first
week, but there were more ambitious magnates in town.
The high-rent Kerrisdale Courier
jacked itself up to a thick 80 pages,
larded with pre-Christmas advertising from suddenly orphaned
retailers. So great were revenues,
one could imagine the Courier's
owners diving into a great pool of
coins like Scrooge McDuck, spats,
pince-nez and all.
As the strike dragged on — past
municipal elections, Christmas,
Easter, a federal election and finally
a provincial election, times flush
with advertising — publishers came
to a moment of decision. Either
they were to make heavy capital investments to challenge the Pacific
Press monopoly, or they were going
to temporarily pocket all this extra
revenue only to go crawling back to
their own little markets once the
strike was settled.
The Columbian, a New
Westminster daily, chose to stand
pat, which many think doomed the
family-owned daily to its eventual
fate; bankruptcy and death last fall
at the age of 122. But big schemes
were being concocted at the Kerrisdale Courier.
Investors were wined,
demographic surveys conducted
and hard-nosed experts consulted.
After months of careful planning, it
was decided that the void in the
market was too great an opportunity to pass up. D-Day — daily day —
was set for July 4, 1979.
It took eight months and a day to
produce that first issue. The strike,
unfortunately for the Courier, was
settled after eight months. The Daily Courier was doomed.
The money people had decided
on a toned-down, British-style
tabloid. To that end, enough Brits
were hired to rate an article in the
U.K. Press Gazette. The managing
editor was a Brit, the chief sub
editor was a Brit, the sports editor
was a Brit, the business editor was a
Brit, the city editor was a Brit, the
. . . you get the idea.
With the Brits came the creed of
Fleet Street: Never let the facts get
in the way of a good story.
One time, ace reporter Clive
Jackson (yes, a Brit) was handed a
wire story about an American doctor who was puzzled by patients
complaining of an odd ailment —
they all had infected middle fingers.
The doc finally found the common
denominator. All the patients
regularly attended discos and had
torn open the skin on their fingers
by snapping them rapidly to the
The brashest wordsmith on staff
was thrilled. He called reporter
Geof Wheelwright and myself (I
had by this time snuck on the payroll without having been given a job
interview) over to ask, what other
disco ailments are there?
for (ahem) editing. At least, I
should have known when I was
photographed injecting myself with
heroin to illustrate a story.
Still, it was hard to create stories
out of thin air. One slow moving
summer Sunday, Clive Jackson was
filling in as city editor. It was the
kind of day when the only scoops
are made of ice cream. Jackson was
dogged by the lack of a sexy item.
He needed something boffo for the
front page and listened intently to
It was that kind of paper. The
first issue had stories on a
450-pound stripper, a former
Canucks goalie with cancer, and a
major feature on string bikinis. The
first editorial confessed that mere
words were inadequate to describe
the start of a new daily, an ominous
statement from a newspaper.
The newsroom staff wasn 't quite
the collection of pajam-clad mental
deficients and circus rejects that
was the Winnipeg Free Press in the
[j chipped in with
["Disco hip from too]
"'And disco nose,"
|said WheelwHghiV^rom
snorting too much cocaine."
Wheelwright took the bait first.
"Well, there's disco toe," he said
straight-faced, tapping his foot by
way of demonstration. "From too
much of this."
I chipped in with, "Disco hip
from too much swaying."
"And disco nose," said
Wheelwright, "from snorting too
much cocaine."
The next morning our ailments
were on page three, only they'd
been credited to an unnamed local
doctor. Ahem. It was then, at the
tender age of 19, that the horrible,
loathsome truth finally dawned . . .
I was a teenage tabloid hack.
Oh, sure, I should've known
when I was given the Sasquatch
beat my first day, or when I had to
interview citizens about the chances
of a plummeting space station hitting them, or when my labor stories
were given to the resident neo-Nazi
the hourly radio news for
something — anything! — that
rated front page. Then, an hour
before deadline, the news opened
"A tragic bus plunge. . ."
Jackson was up from his desk
like   a   shot.   "Photogs!   I   need
photogs!" he screamed.
"... has claimed.  . ."
Jackson   could   hardly   contain
himself.    The   newsroom   was
pandemonium as reporters scrambled for the doors. Above the din,
Jackson gleefully chirped. "Super!
This is super! Super!"
"... the lives of 86 people. . ."
"Super! Super!" cheered Jackson.
". . . on a highway in India."
Jackson sagged low in his chair.
No relative of any of the victims
mourned greater than he. His vision
of a front page picture of splattered
torsos strewn about the cliffs beside
the Squamish highway went  . . .
'40s, but it could have become that.
One reporter absolutely adored
the police. So the Courier had
stories on the police helicopter, the
police dog squad, and the police
dog squad using the police
Then there was Mr. Liberty N.
Justice Forall, a loudly self-
proclaimed friend of the broad
masses, but who would order lowly
copy runners about as if he v/ere an
annoyed plantation boss.
Columnist Doug Collins once
came screaming into the newsroom
yelling about how his column had
been edited — Goddamnable
Assholes! — and he wasn't going to
stand for it. The rant continued for
several minutes, just old Collins
there at one side of the room hollering at no one in particular, until a
,<■&&*"*>   *<%*&€-
brave soul approached and told him
that the phrase he thought had been
excised from today's column had
actually appeared in his column the
day before. Collins left muttering.
Office memos were gems. One of
the secretarial staff was all excited
about the Village People's song,
Y.M.C.A. She suggested a feature
story on whether staying at the Y
still had prestige. (Prestige? At the
Y?!) Nonetheless the memo made
the rounds, each reporter adding
their own comments on how to
cover this exciting story, until someone saner than most tossed it in
the circular file on the floor.
By August the circulation had
slipped to a tenth of the Sun's.
Things were bad. For example,
there was a regular contest where
we'd sneak a photo of someone
reading the paper in public. If they
spotted it in the paper the next day,
they could claim a small cash prize.
But the photographers began complaining about the contest assignment because it was taking hours to
find someone reading the paper.
The Daily Courier died on Aug.
17, after a management consultant
decided against dropping his $2
million into the fledgling paper.
Half the 125-member staff were
fired, while the remainder were to
put out a twice-weekly. Several
careers were ruined. The Daily
Courier could have run a headline
like: "Deranged Tabloid Claims
Self, 60 Others."
The death of a daily is never pretty. The Courier's was downright
ugly. More than a dozen staffers
hovered outside an office while a
much despised editor, confident of
being retained, was given the axe.
They were there, one said, "To see
if he'd cry."
Sports columnist Greg Douglas
used his last column to get back at
then Province publisher Paddy
Sherman, who had made uncomplimentary remarks about the
paper earlier that summer. The first
letter of each of the column's 19
paragraphs spelled out: "F-U-C-K
On that last day, managing editor
Cliff Barr sent a memo to the
editorial staff. It began: "A great
team, a great paper, a great future
. . . doesn't it just grate?"
It was a so-so team, a terrible
paper, and the future was kaput. It
had grated, though. That's why nc
one had bought it.
Tom Hawthorn used to have a job.
He claims to have no integrity. Page 8
Wednesday, April 4, 1984
Varsity sports excel in successful year
Thunderbird teams and people
that claim to be fans but never
watch any games, here's a chance to
look back on the 1983-84 season.
The football club deserves kudos
for a season in which they literally
did get the breaks but still managed
to compile a decent record and
finished second in the WIFL behind
prodigious quarterback Greg Vavra
and the rest of the Calgary
Dinosaurs — the team which won
the national championship.
After losing several players who
graduated or were picked up by the
Canadian Football League, the
'Birds finished with a 5-3 regular
season mark, a 6-4 record overall
and an unbearable number of injuries. And they were denied an opportunity to meet their arch rivals,
Simon Fraser University, in the
Shrum Bowl. The Western Intercollegiate Football League forbade
UBC from competing in the annual
charity game because the team had
used up its alotted number of non-
conference games.
In other off-field activity, coach
Frank Smith said he would resign as
of June 30, 1984, but later rescinded his decision and will guide the
team in 1984.
The Thunderbird men's
volleyball team continued to display
its usual excellence. Although the
'Birds did not repeat as national
champions, they only lost in the
final to a university of Manitoba
team stocked with American
players. The club had been
undefeated until the final match.
After opening the campaign with
a successful tour of Japan, UBC
recorded a perfect 15-0 mark in
league play and finished with a 23-4
overall rally.
Brad Willock, Chris Frehlick,
and Paul Thiessen were outstanding
players for the team which will be a
strong contender in the 1984-85
season. Thiessen was selected as
UBC's male athlete of the year for
There is no truth to the rumor
that the Ski 'Birds intend to change
their team colors to red, white and
blue. Led by coach Dale Stephens,
the ski team became the first UBC
team ever to win an American national title. The 'Birds won all of
their meets during the Northwest
Ski Conference season and finished
first at the National Collegiate Ski
Association   championships   in
Steamboat Springs, Colorado.
Stu Gairns became the winner of
the men's Alpine combined at the
nationals. John Hilland, who
Stephens described as a "stalwart,"
finished second overall, while Paul
van Donklaar was third in the individual cross country event.
UBC and SFU are the only Canadian teams in the NCSA, a fact
which has raised the ire of Eastern
Canadian schools who want to join
the American conference. As a
result, U.S. teams want to kick out
both UBC and SFU out of NCSA.
The 'Birds "a la glace" enjoyed
one of their best seasons in recent
years, finishing with a 20-16-3
record. In Canada West league
play, UBC finished with an 11-13-0
mark and narrowly missed the playoffs. Daryl Coldwell led the league
in scoring and both he and Rick
Amann were named to the Canada
West first all-star team.
Cyclone Taylor Sporting Goods
recently held a poll to determine
which coach the fans want to see for
the Vancouver Canucks in the next
season. UBC coach Jack Moores
received a few votes, but Moores, a
Delta teacher, has no intention of
leaving UBC and will return next
Joe Johnson's team improved
tremendously this season. Winners
of the inaugural Diachem Bowl
game versus SFU, the 'Birds finished with a 9-1 record, good for second place in the Canada West
league. Johnson's crew was unlucky
when winning counted most. The
'Birds, needing a tie to make the
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Page 9
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'eorge Hermanson has been called the
moral conscience of the university. He has
acted as a student advocate, counsellor and
supporter to many. According to one student, "he has the capacity to make each of us
feel unique and special — he's taught us that
our personal goals and aspirations, and society's goals are intrinsically related."
But after 14 years as UBC's campus
chaplain, Hermanson is moving on.
When the Anglican and United ministry
hired Hermanson in 1970, he was the
students' choice. It was the first time students
participated in the selection process, and
now he is employed by a student controlled
Although he began work without an office, phone or chapel, he rapidly became involved in UBC politics. One of his first concerns was young transients being kicked out
of the Jericho beach hostel. Working with
students to help the transients, Hermanson
thought UBC should integrate more with the
surrounding community.
A group of students involved in the Alma
Mater Society invited Hermanson and
another chaplain to help set up emergency
quarters for the transients in SUB. A controversial issue at the time, the temporary
SUB hostel prompted 3,000 students to attend an AMS general meeting where they
decided the transients should seek other
During clubs day in 1970, Hermanson
recalls he brought along half a dozen of the
transients to the campus ministry's booth in
SUB to advertise their cause. He was new at
his job and wore his miniterial collar as he
spoke with students. He suddenly realized
four or five of the hippies, including an AMS
executive member, had taken off their
"Several of the radical leftists hustled me
out so I wouldn't get into trouble," he
remembers. A campus security officer seeing
the ministry's booth declared, "I used to be
an Anglican," and proceeded to call the
police. But the nudists were warned just
before the police arrived. They quickly dressed and ran out.
When local media appeared on the scene,
the young ministry feared its credibility
would be destroyed. But prime minister
Trudeau declared the War Measures Act at
the same time and the press decided to concentrate on his announcement instead of the
event. "Trudeau saved us," Hermanson
Through his participation in other activities, Hermanson inspired others to
become politically involved. In 1972-73, he •
was national vice-chair of the Amchitka protest against underground nuclear weapons
testing the the Aleutian Islands. Privately,
Hermanson and his friends joked about offering the United Church mission boat to
some people who wanted to stop the testing
through civil disobedience.
"If the protest failed, we would solve the
problem of a useless boat," laughs Herman-
son. A boat which blew up would no longer
be a financial drain on the church, he says.
The protesters interested in using the boat
called themselves the "Don't Make a Wave
Committee" and some of them later formed
On campus, the AMS "human government" decided they would close the Cana-
dian/U.S. border to protest the nuclear tests.
"We had the general manager doing what a
general manager ought to do — hiring protest buses," he says.
A UBC arts graduate in 1964,
Hermanson's radical roots took shape at
Chicago Theological School, where he received a master of divinity with honors in 1967.
He worked with classmate Jesse Jackson in
Chicago on an assignment called Operation
Breadbasket. They organized boycotts of certain companies in an effort to increase the
percentage of blacks employed, particularly
in companies which served large black communities. Following his graduation, Herman-
son worked for three years in a Castlegar
parish, where he counselled students from
Selkirk College.
Hermanson always supported the fight for
student representation say several student activists from the mid '70s. Students organized
a sit-in at an Arts Faculty meeting — the last
Faculty not to have any form of student
representation. At the meeting, an instructor
asked George to act as mediator between the
students and faculty. From this meeting the
students eventually achieved representation.
The minister became a member of the UBC
board of governors in 1975. Appointed by
the NDP provincial government, Hermanson
joined current Burnaby NDP MP Svend
Robinson, who was elected as a student
board rep in 1974, the first year students were
represented at that level.
"George was consistent and could always
be counted on to take a strong, principled
stand," says Robinson. The Lutheran campus centre, where Hermanson has worked,
became a meeting place for UBC student activists, he says.
"It was sort of a refuge, a place to have a
beer and plot strategy. (There) George inspired a lot of people to get involved."
In 1976, several women faculty members
raised the issue of discrimination against
women in their wages and in the treatment of
women students. Administration president
Doug Kenny at the time appointed Herman-
son to a board committee which urged the
university to increase women's wages to a
level comparable to those of men in similar
"Oddly enough, we found that Dr. Edith
McGeer (wife of then oppostion member Pat
McGeer) was the most vastly underpaid. And
her salary more than doulbled as a result,"
says Hermanson.
When the Social Credit party was elected
in 1976, the government decided to keep Hermanson on the board. "I always put it down
to the power of the church," Hermanson
says with a smile.
Kenny remembers Hermanson as a "good
member of the board, always keeping the
best interests of the university and of
students in mind." The administration appeared to appreciate the chaplain's ability to
communicate with students, especially during
the tumultous early '70s.
That year the board decided to increase
tuition fees by 25 per cent, and although Hermanson supported the move, arguing it
should accompany more bursaries, he participated in several discussions about opposition to the fee hike. Former AMS executive
member Dave Jiles remembers Hermanson
disagreed with student council which was
unanimously opposed to the increase. Her-
anson leaves
priestly legacy
for campus
manson later attended the 5,000 strong event
prior to the board meeting.
"George was constantly doing student
orientation at several student council
meetings. He counselled in a way that raised
questions and indirectly directed you about
what you should be doing," says Jiles, still a
personal friend of Hermanson.
"He always made himself available to
students in their own milieu, at meetings and
later sharing a beer, would challenge them in
a supportive manner."
George and some students stiirted a morning coffee table in SUB cafeteria. At times the
gathering drew 50 people, and a group still
meets today. "We always went for a baptism
in the morning, and after swimming we
thought we should break bread together,"
the minister says with a laugh.
Margaret Copping recalls a time two and a
half years ago when she went to visit George.
She said to him, "The AMS is not dealing
with student issues. What we need is a whole
bunch of people to go over and take over."
And he said, "That's a good idea, why don't
you do it?" So now I'm AMS president,"
concludes Copping, admitting she was ready
at the rime for the idea but had never considered doing it herself.
The counsellor who holds regular appointments with about 25 people a week —
discussing topics from worries about a late
term paper to suicide — says he tries to approach problems with understanding, reflection and action.
"I try to help people perceive why they are
blocked, and what they can do about it," he
says, usually pointing out people's worries
are related to society at large.
Hermanson's approach is considered process liberation theology. "It is a mattter of
caring deeply. The deep caring is not a projection of myself trying to create people in
See page 10: CHIN
''...the moral
conscience of
the university."
0B Page 10
Wednesday, April 4, 1984
Hermanson has taken it on the chin
From page 9
image, it is trying to let other people
penetrate deeply, in a relational
But as a supporter of women's
and gay rights, Hermanson has provoked criticism form the university
and church alike.
"He has taken it on the chin
because he has supported unpopular causes," said Jiles. Some
gay members of the church came to
Hermanson concerned about the
church's barriers denying them full
participation, and he decided to
support them. But some church
members initiated a pre-trial for
heresy because of Hermanson's
comments. They didn't have
enough grounds to proceed and
they agreed to disagree.
"At the time the Bible was being
used against gays," he says. "1
spoke out for the legitimacy of a
gay person being ordained. It stirred up a fuss because I challenged
the misuse of the Bible."
He says he still encounters difficulty with some traditional Christians because they place dogma
before committment. He sees right-
wing ideology as essentially
"I see the leftists as a faith statement — they're religious, just
another denomination. Hermanson
does not mind working with athiests
as long as they aim for a more just
An example of how Hermanson
combines politics with religion occurred during a mock funeral
march mourning the death of access
to education in 1982. Adorned in a
black robe, Hermanson conducted
the eulogy. He repeated phrases
from John Donne's "For Whom
the Bell Tolls" and threw clumps of
dirt on the coffin marking the passing.
A similar event was repeated two
years later when a group of students
organized another funeral march
with a coffin to mourn this year's
33 per cent tuition fee increase. The
chaplain again agreed to act as a
pall bearer and officiate at the
"Events present themselves and
you do what you can," he says.
Last fall, the ministry allowed the
Lutheran centre to serve as strike
headquarters for members of the
university community who participated in the Operation Solidarity
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teaching assistants, office, clerical
and maintenance workers packed
the centre.
One union member remembers
although the picketers often felt
cold and wet, George's presence
brought together groups which had
little history of co-operating.
As Hermanson's term drew to a
close this year, those closest to him
scrambled to draw up a petition
urging him to stay.
"The petition made it very difficult to leave," he says, admitting
he might not have been able to leave
if he had to make the decision after
this positive year.
When asked why he is leaving, he
has several answers but none seem
upermost in his mind.
"There is a point at which people
who continue become a caricature
of themselves," he says, adding
some friends kid him that he may
soon be radicalizing their grandchildren .
In July, he will begin his new job
in Ontario. He feels there will be a
parallel between his positive experiences at UBC and Five Oaks
centre in Ontario.
"There is a challenge and an opportunity where we may fall on our
collective faces. But mostly there is
a desire to create and alternative vision," he says.
Although George has not been
sure he has had an impact on campus life, he hopes he has. "Now
that I'm leaving, others are telling
me I have," Hermanson shyly concedes.
Former president Douglas Kenny
says without hesitation the chaplain
had a significant impact and he
played the role of 'moral conscience' in a broad sense. "George
was an outstanding university
chaplain, dedicated to the
humanitarian ideals of the university."
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Page 11
Eyob Goitom . . . from Ethiopia
Saozia . . . from Uganda
For many refugees, the goal of reaching Canada is a cherished dream. They know Canada is a land of peace, justice
and tolerance — conditions they may have never known in
their homelands. But 80 percent of inland refugees in
Canada — those who arrive here illegally and decide to stay — have
their claims rejected and are subsequently deported back to their
For each refugee who arrives in Canada, the horrors and atrocities
from which they fled are deeply etched in their memories. For many,
the journey to Canada was arduous and dangerous. Charles and
Catherine Ssozi, for example, are Ugandan refugees living on campus. They applied for refugee status in Canada from Kenya, were accepted and arrived here in September 1983.
It was in 1979 that they left Uganda to study in India. Upon completion of their degrees in 1982 they planned to return to Uganda and
work. But they were advised by their parents and friends not to
return to Uganda because of worsening political and economic conditions. And because they belonged to the Baganda tribe — the
largest of 28 tribes in Uganda — they faced certain persecution and
harassment if they returned.
Ironically, the Baganda persecution in Uganda intensified after the
departure of dictator [di Amin and Milton's ascension to power in
1980. "After the removal of Idi Amin in 1979 most people thought
the situation would improve but it was not to be," notes Ssozi.
The first two presidents after Amin were removed from power by
factions supporting Obote, who was living in exile in Tanzania.
When elections were held in 1980, victory went to Obote's Uganda
Peoples Congress Party which had the support of the military.
It was widely believed that the 1980 election was rigged by Obote
supporters. Afterwards, guerilla movements sprung up in opposition
to the election. The most powerful of these groups included the
Baganda Freedom Movement and the National Resistence Movement.
"The Uganda Peoples Congress led by Obote, is persecuting the
Baganda Tribe because it represents a threat to his power," Ssozi
says. The BFM has become a powerful threat to the Obote regime.
Most of the guerilla activity occurs in the province of Buganda which
is predominantly populated by people from the Baganda tribe.
The government has responded to the BFM by destroying and burning many Baganda villages. "Many Baganda men are targeted for
persecution and execution by the government. They fear the government and want it to be toppled."
Obote maintains firm control over the country and opposition is
ruthlessly suppressed. "Most people are living in a state of fear,
especially those in Buganda," Catherine Ssozi says.
She adds, "In other parts of the country things are pretty
peaceful but the people are living under economic hardship. By international standards they are living below the poverty line."
Charles Ssozi has a strong commitment to helping his people and
for that reason finds it difficult to stay away from Uganda. Aifter
further studies in Canada, Charles says he hopes "to work with the
United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees or another international agency to help the Ugandan people."
He would eventually like to return to Uganda. But Catherine is
more reluctant: "The situation is so insecure there. You can die at
any time."
Charles is aware that Uganda faces serious problems. But he feels
a solution is possible if the different tribes in Uganda would begin
round table negotiations. "As long as the guerillas remain in the
bush and the wealth remains overseas, the process of conflict in
Uganda will continue."
■     ■■.■••'-.
Juan Santos is a 22-year-old inland refugee living in Vancouver.
His story began 14 months ago when he fled his small village in El
Salvador fearing arrest and execution by the armed forces.
While still in high school Juan joined the LP-28 (Legas
Popularios), an underground student movement dedicated to improving social conditions and helping the poor campesinos
The purpose of LP-28 was to educate and help the people, Juan
says. "We were advising the people that they do not have the right
information about what's really going on in the country. The
campesinos (farmworkers and peasants) were suffering more than
the rest of the population, conditions for them were bad."
Two years later, Juan joined MERS (Movement Estudiante
Revolutionario Secondario), an underground group of college and
high school students. Juan says the aim of MERS was to "improve
student conditions, stop cruel teachers and help the poor peasants
who were oppressed. Many couldn't read and write so we started to
teach them."
Campesinos in El Salvador live and work under harsh conditions.
For them, worker rights and human rights do not exist. They are
often paid only one or two dollars per day.
Juan cites an example that is not uncommon in El Salvador.
"Let's say you have a wife and family and you go to work on a rich
landowner's farm. If you have a 14-year-old daughter and she is pretty, the'landowner can take her. You may be angry but there is
nothing you can do."
Juan and the other MERS members would visit small towns and
set up meetings. The town meetings were carefully and cautiously arranged. Members would knock on doors in the towns to notify the
people of the meeting. Other members would monitor the roads
leading in and out of the village for army troops. The meeting itself
would be led by one or two MERS members.
Juan decries the fact that Salvadoran campesinos are blatantly oppressed. As he puts it, "in El Salvador, if you are poor that is a
(Juan Santos is a pseudonym. He agreed to be interviewed on the
condition that his name not be used. He fears reprisals against family
members remaining in El Salvador.)
When several members of MERS were arrested, Juan began to
fear for his life. He was well aware of the dangers he faced. Only a
few months before, his uncle had been abducted one night by the army. The next day, his family found his beheaded corpse by a river
Juan left El Salvador in April 1983. He travelled to Guatemala,
then to Mexico. From Tijuana, Mexico, he and another Salvadoran
entered California. "We ran out of money and hope in Sacramento."
Luckily though, a Catholic priest there gave them some money and
the addresses of people to contact in Oregon and Washington. When
they arrived in Blaine, Washington, they arranged to meet a Canadian lawyer at the border. Shortly thereafter they entered Canada
and applied for refugee status.
Because inland refugees in Canada are allowed to stay in the country while awaiting a decision on their claim — but receive no government help — Juan was left to wander the streets, seeking food and
shelter from whatever source he could.
Juan tells the story of a refugee he entered Vancouver with who
became desperate; "I want to go back", he said, "I don't want to
starve to death here."
But Juan's fortune improved when a worker from the Inland
Refugee Society of B.C. offered him shelter and food. He now has a
small apartment in Vancouver and works at odd jobs to support
Juan expects a decision on his refugee claim very soon. Despite the
fact that he is a bright and industrious person, and he fled his country due to a well grounded fear of persecution — the possibility of
deportation looms over his head. Until his claim is accepted by Ottawa, Juan's perilous odyssey will not be over.
Eyob Goitom is an Ethiopian refugee studying at the University of
British Columbia. He came to Canada on August 22, 1981, and is
now a landed immigrant.
Eyob comes from a country in the midst of bitter strife. The strife
stems from Ethopia's annexation of Eriteria. Eriteria is a former colony of Italy. In 1952, the United Nations debated whether Eriteria
should be granted independence or federated with Ethiopia.
Despite the clear objection of the Eriterian people, the colony was
formally merged with Ethiopia in 1962. Yet Ethiopia has no
historical claim to Eriteria. In 1970, the Eriterian Peoples Liberation
Front (EPLF) was formed. And in 1973, opposition to Ethiopian
hegemony in Eriteria solidified.
There are approximately 30 million people in Ethiopia, four
million of whom are Eriterian. It is widely known that Eriterians face
discrimination in the public service and the private sector. "An
Eriterian is a refugee whether he is inside or outside the country,"
says Goitom. "They have restricted movement in their own
The military in Ethiopia suspect that many Eriterians are guilty of
collusion with the independence movement. Therefore, they closely
monitor the Eriterian population.
By 1976, the EPLF gained considerable strength; the guerillas have
the  power  to  defend  villages  and  have  established  their  own
economic infrastructure in many areas of Eriteria.
The government's solution to quell the liberation movement is to
imprison, torture and kill thousands of Eriterians. "Many incidents
of violence have created horror in the people," Goitom says.
As an example, he cites a village that was suspected of harboring
EPLF guerillas. The village of 500 was surrounded by the army early
one morning in 1969, and burned to the ground. All of the villagers
perished in the fire.
Goitom and a friend decided to flee Ethiopia in late December
1975. They left their town at night and were directed out of the country by EPLF forces. They travelled only at night. "I was impelled to
leave by the horrors in the country. Hundreds of people were
murdered and imprisoned. Friends and relatives were murdered and
taPwlfcVANCOUVEK Page 12
Wednesday, April 4, 1984
Vancouver refugees recount tragic past
From Page 11
Goitom and his friend travelled
toward Sudan. "I had no expectation or knowledge of Sudan. The
only thing I knew was that the
United Nations had a refugee camp
on the eastern border. I thought
they would take care of me. I
thought they could help me achieve
education, since the schools and
universities in Eriteria were
closed." They arrived at the Sudan
Refugee camp on Jan. 22, 1976.
Goitom stayed in Sudan from
1976-1980, where he earned a
degree in political science. He says
he was afraid to write his parents
during these years because they
might get harassed by the government.
"The first letter I sent to my
family was in 1980 when I met someone in Sudan who was from my
village," Goitom says.
In 1981, Goitom came to Vancouver from Sudan. The trip was
arranged by the UBC chapter of
World University Service of
Canada. During his first year at
UBC they paid his tuition and raised money to help him. "Being a
refugee has strengthened me as a
human being. It has hardened me
and matured me," Goitom says.
But as he notes, the suffering that
many refugees endure is deep and
painful. "The worst thing about being a refugee is family separation.
You are separated from all the people you love."
Abbas Tehrani is a 25 year old inland refugee living in Vancouver.
He fled Iran in 1983 after being
harassed several times by the country's security police.
Ayatolla Khomeini's revolutionary movement seized power in
Iran in 1979, and quickly established a theocratic state. Iran is now
governed by a radical sect of Shiite
Moslems led by Khomeini. Under
Khomeini, Iran has become a tightly controlled religious state that
ruthlessly suppresses diverging
political and religious views.
"People in Iran are forced to
adopt the radical perspective of
Khomeini," Tehrani says. "There
is political pressure to accept the
ideology — which is to fight against
If a person criticizes the government in any way, he may be in
danger. "You must accept all or
nothing, otherwise the government
treats you with suspicion."
While still a student in university,
Abbas was arrested by the government several times. They suspected
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him of taking part in political activities against the regime. "They
arrested me and frightened me.
They threatened to put me in jail."
"There is a great deal of fear in
Iran," says Tehrani. "People can
be arrested for no reason and put in
In October 1983, Tehrani made
the dramatic decision to flee his
homeland. He says he made the
decision because he felt threatened
by the government and opposed
many of their views.
When an Iranian flees his country
by   land,   he   can   only   take  two
routes. The first route of escape is
into Turkey, but this is very difficult. The second route of escape is
much easier — into Pakistan. This
is the routh that Tehrani chose.
He travelled from the town of
Zahedan, on the Pakistan-Iran
border to Quetta in Pakistan. From
there, he travelled southward to
In Karachi, Abbas obtained a
French passport and an airline
ticket to Vancouver. When he arrived in Vancouver, he requested permission to remain in Canada.
Tehran lives with a family in Van
couver and works part-time in the
kitchen of a local restaurant.
Although he is adapting quite well
to Canadian life, his future in
Canada remains uncertain.
Abbas says his fate is in the hands
of the Canadian government
because if he is sent home he will be
imprisoned or executed. "In Iran
the government controlled my life,
here, my life is in the hands of the
It's trough and swill time again at
The Ubyssey. Read: Annual banquet for all who contributed
(writers only) to The Ubyssey in
1983-84 academic year. Return to
SUB 241k for more details. Or talk
to Wongsky.
3 to4
■.-.  ■■        >■
2650 West 4th Ave.
10% OFF
our regular priced jeans
(Offered at our West 4th store only
student card required)
Offer expires April 21
"Clip 'N Save" Spring Schedule
Ballet ll/lll
8:30-10 p.m.
*Music Room
Ballet I
5:30-7 p.m.
Jazz l/ll
Ballet II
Ballet ll/lll
Jazz I
Jazz l/ll
Ballet II
Ballet ll/lll
Refund Policy:
Further info:
Schedule effective April 30 to June 22, 1984.
All classes will be held in the Music Room of the Asian Centre.
Just $30.00 for a whole term of unlimited classes of your choice (you may take
any or ALL of the classes offered. (New member "Club Fee" of $5.00 is extra
where applicable.)
Register daily between 12:30-1:30 in SUB 216E or April 3 (11:30-2:30) and
April 4 (12:30-1:30). SUB foyer - sorry, there will be NO drop-in fees.
Membership fee of $5 is non-refundable,
before May   7 - $20.00
May 14 - $10.00
Available at registration. Room 216E SUB, or phone 228-6668. Wednesday, April 4,1984
Page 13
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The Hairline's team of experts wants
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Mon.-Fri. 9:00-7:00
New shit hits old fan
Welcome to the new mutant collective for an equally vile rag's 67th
year. The new lineup of the
Copyburo includes Robert Beynon
the Lion-Hearted, Patty "watch it,
Buster" Flather, Charlie Fidelman,
who has yet do a handstand, and
Neil Lucente, who has yet to reach
puberty. Good luck? Let's just
Robert found his way out of his
paper bag in time to remember why
he'd started using it. "1 do NOT
blush easily," proclaimed Robert at
the crucial moment. Patti was so
impressed with such a platitude that
she whispered HA! at the top of her
lungs and promptly caused Robert
to sunburn into oblivion. Patti,
on the other hand, has a problem
with all typewriters, in that none of
them have an "edit" key. She
wishes Robert hadn't bought her a
paper bag for her birthday. "It
said, 'Double bagging should not be
Fidel, viva Fidel...Old Charlie
will really try to organize her entire
life for the sake of the paper.
"Hey...why not? One day I'll be art
critic for the West Ender. Airheads
just don't cut it no more." The
more-or-less Good Woman of
Trutch has a closet desire to have a
permanent column on how to
charm the pants off the fruit flies F.
Ian drags in from the lab.
And then Cornelius gives some
sense   of   professionalism   to   the
bunch. Neil was in tears at the election meeting. "I am...a darkroom
junkie!" But his repentance didn't
stop him from boasting about his
refusal to get an interview with the
Weakneed Scum. It is widely believed that Neil has, within his reach, a
direct link with the Muse of Layout.
Luck isn't the word here. Divine
intervention is the suitable phrase
for this Love Bloat plus Eight-Eyes
front. Oh, why must Point Grey
face such cabal to uphold the bastion of democracy next year? Alas,
only a lightening bolt from God-to-
be-in-Ottawa will permit these
cronies to print the theatre of hate
that has come to be our salvation in
these melodramatic times. Bless us
Whether you're headed for
wilderness or civilization -
Europe, Nepal or the Rockies
- you'll find the right pack for
this summer's adventure at
the Co-op
Take the new Serratus
Centaun packs. They're
tough, trim luggage with a full
backpack suspension. Great
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Visit trie Co-op s Vancouver store
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The dot in the centre square represents all of the firepower used in World
War II, including the atomic bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
The 6,000 dots in the rest of the squares represent the comparative destructive power of the nuclear weapons that exist today. Just two squares
on the chart represent enough firepower to destroy all of the large- and
medium-sized cities of the world.
UBC Students for Peace & Mutual Disarmament, Box 71 SUB	
. v        Let ve>
__* *   entertain you!
. '7rviqKt3 a week
wibH cajv
open sv/v&E'Nights
Spring and Summer
A Complete Range of Courses for Those Wishing to Learn how to Dive
and for Divers Who Want Advanced Training.
(No Previous Training Required) (Must be Certified Diver)
April 30 Deep Diving
June 4 —July 3
July 9 Diver Rescue
August 13 —August
Courses are open to everyone (slight additional fee for non-UBC students).
Register with Aqua Society, Lower Floor, SUB.
Open Mon. Fri. 11:00 a.m. to   7:00 p.m.
228-3329 ly Idol lacks style not success
ages clash
Billy Idol has the best formula in rock today. Idol has captured a stylish blend of
punk and pop which offers something for
everyone, as evidenced by the diversity of
the crowd at Thursday's performance. Men
approaching middle age with green hair,
peroxide Idol clones, adolescent screamers
and 10 year old kids with studded black
leather bracelets dotted the audience.
But unfortunately the sold out show was
not enough to bring Idol past the stage of a
superficial rocker. Throughout most of the
evening, Idol appeared to be just going
through the motions. Decked out in his
customary Road Warrior gear, Idol strutted, twisted and contorted about without
conviction. He managed to bring versions
of White Wedding, Rebel Yell and Ready
Steady Go up to a frenzic level, but regrettably subsided to a mediocre tempo on
other tunes.
Idol has changed his music since his days
[ with the Generation X. He is aiming for a
wider audience change that destroys his ambition and conviction towards music.
The songs that came across well were the
ones that had something important to say.
Idol may be missing the punk days of
Generation X.
Besides having to put up with incredibly
long lines to get into the War Memorial
Gym, the crowd waited for two hours
before Idol came on. Part of the delay was
getting fans straightened out in front of the
stage, they were doing their best to imitate
the behaviour at The Who concert in Cincinnati in 1979. The heat in the crowd got
out of hand and security was forced to
throw wet towels out to the fans to ease
their self inflicted discomfort. Aside from
that, the crowd was responsive when Idol
called upon them.
Those in the crowd who appreciated
guitar work got enough from Steve Stevens.
Stevens demonstrated a prowess on guitar
that was reminiscent of a combination of
Pete Townshend and Eddie Van Halen.
Stevens' mastery was everything that the
lead guitarist for the opening act Platinum
Blonde wasn't.
Platinum Blonde is a three-piece band
of Rod Stewart clones who bring new
meaning to the words inept, boring and last
but not least spandex. This highly-touted
Toronto band is exactly what we don't need:
blonde hair, tight pants and arrogance
everything that rock n' roll explained the
band's warm reception Thursday night.
Their music doesn't go any further than
titles like It Really Doesn't Matter Unless
You're Forced To Listen To It and Standing in the Dark.
The lack of any real lyrics works perfectly
with the ability of the musicians. And the
lack of foreceful guitar playing was the major downfall. The lead guitarist seldom used
more than a few cords and when he did, he
seemed somewhat edgy. This entire lack of
originality, ability and style means that
Platinum Blonde should sell millions of
albums, sell-out concerts and send music
back to the dark ages of disco.
Virtually faultless production
graces Beggar's Opera
A beggar shuffles across the stage, a pint
of ale in one hand, his dinner in the other.
He is pleased — his opera is about to be
performed. Finding a table from which he
will watch the performance, he promises to
stop the players should they take things too
Played by music professor French
Tickner, the beggar is a delightful
character, his speech capturing the essence
of an old, impoverished poet and
songwriter.   Tickner   contributes   new
dialogue to this 18th century opera on top
of brilliant acting, directing and production.
And the UBC opera theatre production
of this new version overcomes the obstacles
with presenting a new interpretation of an
old favorite. While Tickner is successful in
setting the opera in the 20's, he is original
without detracting from John Gay's intended morality lesson.
Gay wrote the Beggar's Opera during
a period when England was rejecting oppressive Italian operas filling its stages.
Gay's approach was comic and satirical, his
music was lighter and he exposed society's
filth to make brazen moral comments. As
the beggar explains in the prologue, his
opera contains crime, sex and violence —
"everything a good opera should have."
"I hope I may be forgiven that I have not
made my opera throughout unnatural, like
those in vogue," he says, poking fun at
Italian opera.
The opera continues in lavish tongue-in-
cheek style. From his discreetly located
table, the beggar watches the opera, occasionally conducting the music with morsels
of food in his hand.
The music arrangement which is also new
is played by the nine member White Chapel ouuic men <tic uuui gicai, omers
achieve greatness, and yet others have
greatness thrust upon them," the saying
goes. Antonio Salieri, protagonist of Peter
Shaffer's black comedy, Amadeus, would
dearly love to have greatness thrust upon
him. He readies himself for the moment
when God will transform him from a
mediocre composer to a great one, a moment that never comes.
by Peter Shaffer
directed by Walter Learning
at the Q.E. Playhouse until April 21
Instead, God thrusts greatness upon a
rival composer, Wolfgang Amadeus
Mozart. This Mozart, as portrayed in Shaffer's play, is hardly the creature to deserve
such a favor.
If God blesses Mozart with genius, he
also blesses Salieri with other, equally important gifts — success, power, wealth,
health, and happiness — and the gifts
Mozart is deprived of. Salieri seems to be
equally beloved of God, but he refuses to
see this, considering the denial of genius as
being of primary importance.
Because God withholds the divine inspiration Salieri needs to become a great
composer, Salieri decides to spite God by
destroying God's "Magic Flute", by Mozart.
Salieri does this with Machievellian ease
and discretion, so when he finally admit's
to being Mozart's nemesis, others do not
believe him.
The word "Amadeus" means both
"beloved of God" and "lover of God,"
and Shaffer explores both meanings of the
word through the contrasting natures of
Salieri and Mozart. Salieri is the Age-of-
Enlightenment definition of a good man.
He is rational, moderate, well-bred and
well-mannered. Mozart, in contrast, is irrational, immoderate, ill-bred and ill-
mannered. He is out of place in Emperor of
Austria Joseph II's 18th century court.
Mozart is the Romantic Age's definition
of the good man. He is passionate and completely natural. Salieri and the other court
figures seem by contrast tepid, artificial and
hollow, like the music they produce and admire.
In the role of Salieri, Cedric Smith
manages to be both a sympathetic and a
repellent character. One minute he engages
our sympathies with his painful awareness
of his own mediocrity and Mozart's
greatness, the next he repels us with his vin-
dictiveness and lust for sweetmeats.
In the role of Mozart Morris Panych is
also sympathetic and repellent. We sympathize with his struggle for recognition and
wealth in a court of musical philistines. But
we are repelled by his scatalogical jokes and
infantile behaviour. Bernard Cuffling as
Joseph II and Gabrielle Rose as Constanze,
Mozart's usually faithful wife, are also
The set and costume and lighting for this
production were excellent. Philp Clarkson's
costumes were a show in themselves.
A unique opportunity for all involved,
Danceworks gives dancers with any level of
training a once in a lifetime chance to work
with professional choreographers, from the
first rehearsal through to the final perfur-
Although organized by Ballet UBC Jazz,
Danceworks is separate from the club and
its dance classes. Student's in Danceworks
genuinely love movement, and their passion
was evident in the final performance of
Of the three choreographers, Barbara
Bourget's piece is the most polished and
stylistically endearing. She gave her non-
dancers the feeling of moving through
Les Grenouilles, a linear piece, contained
several froggy references plus urban hurry
scurry. A pattern of downtown rush runs
through it. Human frogs scampered on
stage wearing large white framed black goggles — they slithered across the floor bathed in green side lighting. But they didn't
croak. Instead, the acclaimed Phillip Glass
Glass Works provided accompaniment.
Jay Hirabeyashi's Rock Garden is influenced by the seemingly random pattern
of rocks in a traditional Japanese rock
garden, and is characterised by internal form
and balance. He gave the dancers a basic
pattern with which they randomly repeat
and freely improvise. Hirabeyashi imposed
a final balance by giving the dancers a pattern to follow in the piece's last moments.
Intriguing philosphically, Rock Garden is
staid and sedate visually, even though
brilliantly timed.
In Jennifer Mascall's Menagerie, dancers
move like animals in an expressionistic
style. The dancers pretend to be a variety of
animals from elephants to chickens, moving
their body parts in different directions —
the feet in one pattern, the arms in an opposite one, and the faces in bizarre expressions. The piece is a collaborative effort
between the dancers and choreographer,
and overflow with creativity. If laughter is
any indication of enjoyment, the audience
loved Menagerie.
Danceworks may appear amateurish to
some, in comparison to a professional
troupe such as Les Ballet Jazz des Montreal. But the Menagerie is alive in its
rawness and is very exciting.
As one member of the audience said:
' 'The Menagerie is playful and exploratory
without pretension."
If you missed Danceworks this year, you
missed more than just another dance performance.
o/uipuuim. ouviciy unuci mc t-UllUUCUUll UI
Grant Hurst. The music is rhythmic and
entertaining, and for a small orchestra, the
sound is rich and pleasing. The instrumentalists also show sensitivity to the amateur
The opera begins under the beggar's
direction against a backdrop of two large
overlapping faces, one grinning, the other
tearful. Mr. Peachum (Donald Jones),
enters. He and his wife (Susan Pye) run a
pawn shop in Soho, and as receivers of
stolen goods, they give out information
about their clients for rewards.
Peachum's informer, aptly named Filch
(Gordon Comer) tells the Peachums that
their daughter Polly (Marisa Gaetanne) has
just married Captain MacHeath, a gambler
and highwayman. This event causes the
Peachums much consternation — they are
abhorred at the thought of a ciminal son-in-
law — and provides the drama's basic
irony, which Gay uses to its fullest.
The Peachums decide to kill MacHeath,
leaving his wealth in their hands. They tell
Polly she must assist them. Polly, a
trusting, naive young woman, sings endlessly of her loyalty and undying love for
MacHeath (Peter Spira). But her parents
are not swayed.
"But surely it is the thought of gaining a
widow's fortune that keeps a wife's spirits
up," says her father.
MacHeath is framed by Peachum, who
makes use of the "ladies of questionable
virtue." These women live fully up to their
names: Mrs. Vixen, Betty Doxy, Jenny
Diver, Mrs. Coaxer, dressed as flappers
with feathers and netted stockings. They
are of course, paid off by Peachum.
Now the audience discovers Peachum's
connection with prison warden Lockit
(David Lyford). They gain profits by bribing and offering the prisoners escape for
money. To complete the plot, Lockit's fiery
daughter Lucy is also in love with
MacHeath, and countless scenes and songs
of jealousy ensue between Lucy and Polly
over MacHeath, who cares deeply for
Part of the opera's appeal is due to Gay's
frankness. There is no effort to protect
delicate ears from discussions of sex, crime,
and violence.
The beggar provides an unusual
perspective to the opera, keeping it alive in
duller moments. When the beggar offers
the odd prompt to characters, it seems for
autuenticity s saice.
The final scene finds MacHeath sentenced to death, much to Polly's and Lucy's
despair, and to Peachum's and Lockit's
delight. At this point, three women enter,
two with babies and one pregnant, all victim's of MacHeath's idle promises, who
earlier said in his defence — "In the heat of
passion, a man will promise anything."
Now the cast begins to protest to the beggar, claiming they want a happy ending. In
response, the beggar says the poor have the
same vices as the rich, though in less
amounts, and that society is plagued with
the same greed and immorality as Peachum
and Lockit display.
Truce ends nuke exchange
 .  *"^  Page 3
jp   * i *wr
Page 17
" ;?'/f.'-, ~; »","»   ''■» V*:^,«XXX'
TheProvi ce
Vancouver, B.C.
Wednesday, April 4, 1964
No sense
(80 cents minimum
outside anywhere)
j*&+.»jsjt \-T. •!'• . ",V*-*i;'»iW:'t*V-.".T
eft?*" ■3"       1".- " •■'•-'
»s3, 4
Thaf s the. cutfne writer's
father, no, iff Forlorn
Pharton,   crafts   gufld
fellow crafts guild
member Cathay Trite
about flying pickets.
Oops, mi, ifs a crafts
guH member arguing
with a newspaper guU
person about whethei
teachers should be slowed to strike. Ah, hal, ifs
somebody pissed off
about sonwusng. (See
Setting it Straight, pegs 2)
in bath
CHRETIEN 2      The PfOVi   Ce   Wednesday, April 4, 1984
Cutout sections:
Existing 6
Serious Business.. 7
Imports 8
Comings, goings .. 56
Bridge 4NT
Busy, busy 7,11
Classified 56-59
Comix... 19,20
Cussword 20
Abby Dearest 16
Editorial rages .... 4,5
Frotheringtiam 3
Grrr 2
Manure & You .... 14
Horrorscope 19
Existing 6
Lozenges 8
Moves 21,17
Peephole 6
Bullshipping 27
Imports 8
Slime 6
Radio news 12
Walker 7
General: Patton
Circulation: Needed
Identifying himself only as
Mr. Bill Is terrorizing
residents of this
unintelligent Toronto
The assailant leaps on his
victims from bus stops,
dressed entirely in Wack,
end forces plastic masks of
television's Mr. Rogers over
their heads white shouting,
"God is a Marxist!"
Police say the man was
obviously deranged by
some stressful experience
In his recent past. Police say
a lot of things.
Riders on the storm. Ba, ba, Ba,
BA. Riders on the storm. Ba, ba,
Ba, ba, BA. Into this house we're
born. Into this world we're thrown.
Same tune.
Take a long holiday. Bum, bum,
bum ba, ba. Let your children play.
If you give this man a ride. Sweet
family will die. Killer on the road.
Canada's high. Holland's not.
America's low. Long Island's
April 1 ^BJ    April 15
□ old    rm NO Q
April 5 UH   April 25
ApHIS, 1984 Time
Good morning 8a.m.
HI 12:07 p.m.
Good night 10 p.m.
Sleep tight 10:01 p.m.
Sunrise: Ounce and a half of tequila, orange juice
pour grenadine down the side.
Sunset: Five tequila sunrises and a martini followed
by a Harvey Wall banger and the sun will set any
time of the day.
South Coaat: Sunny, yesterday my life was full
of rain. Sunny, da, da, da, doda. do, do, da, da.
You came along and da, da, da, da. Sunny one it's
true, I love you.
West, North Vancouver Island: Rain drops keep
falling on my head. But that doesn't mean my eyes
will soon be turning red. Crying nots for me. No. I'll
never stop the rain by complaining.
Central Coast: Who's peeking out from under the
stairway. Calling the name that's lighter than air.
Who's reaching out to capture the moment.
Everyone knows its windy.
Fort N si son: I'm dreaming of a white Christmas.
Just like the ones I used to know. Where the tree
tops glisten and children listen. Just to hear sleigh
bells in the snow.
Interior: Hot time summer in the city. Back of my
neck getting dirt and gritty. Been down isn't that a
OLD FRONT .A. m\ m. BACK TO FRONT     < »•
Today's Provice tabloid split into
three and a half sections.
■ Get out your scissors. Cut the first
two pages in half.
■ Now turn the paper to the right.
Cut the rest in half again.
■ That leaves another eight pages
(more pages for your money) of
slander, libel and drab gab.
When finished reading, crumple all
pages up into ball, say abra cadabra,
wave a magic wand, and you'll get
....a mess.
pity. Doesn't seem to be shadow in the city. In the
city. Do do —do do do do. In the city.
North Coast: There's a fog upon L.A   And my
friends have lost their way. Well it only goes to
show,   and   I   told  them  where  to  go.   Ask   a
policeman on the street. There's so many there to
Well, actually our front
page photograph has nothing
to do with the current
Pathetic Press strike and is
really a confrontation between conflicting International Workers' Association
simps and Peoples' Patience
Workers of Canada wimps?
No? Well, the hell then, we're
How to deal with a gloomy Wednesday: Do whatever
you want. That's what we'll be doing from now on. It's
the last Provice and it'll probably rain until UI runs out.
I've never read this apparently inane waste of space
before. But it's supposed to end with something about
the weather. It'll be light today.
ThePiwi ce
Hi normally published everyday except Saturday and Holidays by Pathetic Pcees
at 2260 Granville Street, Vancouver, B.C. V6H 3G2 by that great awe-fn«pjring
multinational, Southam Inc. However, during labor dispute, while our traitorous
employees ara walking the picket lines, and we ere surviving on our strike insurance, data* vary. No class registration number 007. Postage on C.O.D. basis
— it would cut into our profits to pay for it.
Hart son
of JFK
SOWVILLE (UNS) — The momentum of
U.S. presidential aspirant Gary Hart has increased following reports that Hart is John F.
Kennedy's sinister son.
Gary Hart is 47. Or so he says.
An investigation has uncovered records
showing that not only did the candidate for
the Democratic nomination change his name
from Hartpence, but also was adopted by the
Hartpence family.
Nor has Hart inherited glamor only from
the paternal side. Reports have the records
showing Hart was given up for adoption by a
teen-aged Norma Jean Rae in Seattle in 1942.
At that time the future U.S. president Kennedy was a young naval officer who had
recently passed through Seattle on his way to
commanding a torpedo boat in the Second
World War.
Norma Jean became Marilyn Monroe
before renewing her relationship with Kennedy during his years in the White House.
Hart outpolled fellow candidate and
former vice president Walter Mondale 49 per
cent to 23 percent in Tuesday's crucial Sow
County Democratic party delegate caucus in
a rural section of Idaho. He gained one
delegate, who said, "We need a man with
movie star blood in him if we're going to look
better than (U.S. president Ronald) Reagan
on television. I just hope he isn't suicidal."
"I hope voters will realize I would be only
grateful to be John Kennedy's illegitimate
son," Hart said after the caucus.
Hart had a clear answer to continued questions about the budget deficit, foreign policy,
economic strategy and use of military power.
"I'll comment on that later," the bastard said.
"Maybe in December."
Hart's one delegate surge could mean absolutely nothing at all.
One more brick in wall
in the Socred monument
Further evidence that the Socreds are
determined to eclipse all the reforms
enacted during the reign of Fat Dave the
First cropped up this week.
It seems Grace McCarthy was watching
the CBS Evening News last week and had
another brainstorm. There, in living color,
was the answer to the province's overburdened welfare rolls. You will recall that
Mrs. McCarthy had earlier evinced that the
real root of the problem was the hordes of
flatlanders fleeing the Socialist scourge in
Manitoba, arriving in Lotusland from
Snowflake, Brandon and Wawenesa with
naught but a smile, outstreched palms and
directions to Kits Beach.
CBS reported that the West German
government was giving $4,000 to any
Turkish immigrant worker that would leave
the land of Black Forest cake. A tulip bulb
appeared over the erstwhile florist's head —
why not offer S50 and a free Greyhound
pass to any Manitoban who'll leave B.C.?
The money saved could be used to employ
real British Columbians as border guards to
prevent the shiftless snowmobile lovers
from sneaking back into Valhalla. The guns
guards would need would help the ailing
B.C. weapons industry — their uniforms
would benefit the sweat shops in Vancouver's East End. Cabinet is said to be enthusiastic.
Sources also indicate that the Socreds are
considering bills that would prohibit Sun
reporters from phoning up Mrs. McCarthy
to see if her municipal tax bill is paid, and
also to legalize lying by used car dealers. "If
someone's stupid, why not take advantage
of them?" said the source. "Ripping people
off is the very vasis of our system. Besides,
if used car dealers were sued every time they
shot the bull with a client, half the cabinet
would be in the Big House."
Rumours continue to run rampant that
Bill Bennett is prepared to offer rock
manager Bruce Allen a cabinet post. Allen,
loud manager of such moneymakers as
Lover Boy, Bryan Adams and the Payolas,
is mulling over an offer to be manager of
the B.C. Economy, which hasn't been selling well in the U.S. as of late. Cabinet is
said to be tickled pink at the prospect of
Allen yelling into the phone at heads of
multinational firms thinking of investing in
B.C. "He's uptempo, he's vibrant, he's
ballsy,   he   gets   things   done,   he's   the
eighties," says our source. "I can just see
him walking into some corporation's boardroom and screaming, 'Invest your money
in B.C. right now or I want you out of the
province this minute!' The business of
business is business, and by hiring Allen we
could show business that we're all
business." The one hitch in the deal is that
Allen wants his usual 45 per cent of profits,
while the Socreds are standing firm at 33.
Zany Pat McGeer has come up with a
solution to B.C.'s bridge and ferry woes.
McGeer has plans for a homegrown water-
car industry. By blowing up existing bridges
and selling off the ferries, the market forces
of supply and demand would create a demand for the sea-faring autos, which would
be the only way to cross B.C.'s many waterways. A boom would occur in the automak-
ing, autoselling and demolition industries
of B.C., and the province would have a
jump on other parts of the world in a
growth industry. "Genius," mused our
The real humdinger is that the Socreds
are considering making elections illegal
because they're too expensive. "We always
rig it so we can win anyways, so why
bother?" said our source. Holding this up
is the insistence of premier Bill Bennett that
he be annointed premier-for-life and that
his offspring shall follow him into the top
It's enough to make you growl.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. SWednesday, April 4, 1984   The PrOVi   Ce   3
The dream is over, as the great poet Brian
Jones, or maybe Jim Morrison, once said.
Southam says the cost of printing The Province is not worth the while of keeping other
big-money chains out of its monopoly market in Vancouver, and the courts have recently accepted their and Thomson's word that
No Alpo
for bums
Resources Minister Grace McCarthy
denied Tuesday that welfare recipients
will receive Alpo instead of money
beginning April 1.
"It may be a time for restraint but
there is no way this government would
be tacky enough to give out economy pet
food," McCarthy told a press conference. "Though we could threaten
those bums with starvation, we will be
distributing high quality High Society
and Nine Lives. Definitely not Alpo."
McCarthy added that her ministry will
stop issuing checks only in order to save
paper and printing costs. A program is
being studied which will have remaining
human resources workers patrol the
streets with rolls of pennies to be passed
out to panhandlers, she said.
"What's a few hundred dollars difference? I could have my cabinet
minister's salary cut by $300 a month
and hardly care any more than I do
Welfare recipients should stop thinking about caviar and switch to steak or
veal, said McCarthy.
The minister clowned briefly with
reporters and television crews after making her remarks, getting down on all
fours to eat out of a dish on the floor
without using her hands.
"See? Just like Fido would say if he
could, my goodness that's good," McCarthy said around mouthfuls of lobster
in Hollandaise sauce.
"You'd have to be bonkers to accuse
this government of not being fair."
Tots love
dominant newspaper corporations never lie.
We also have the word of our late employers that the current labor dispute at Pathetic
Press had no effect on a decision which had
to be made in these times of hard economic
realities. Their only small regret is that in
pulling the plug on The Province they have
thrown the Columbian out with the bath
But life in the big time newspaper biz. is like
that. Tough.
Because there might never again be on the
porches of our fair city a bright, new morning Tab, the managing staff of The Province
brings you this special edition in order to say
goodbye. In it you'll find samples of the best
our writers have produced from all our eight-
month history, along with whatever else was
sitting in the computer when the picket lines
went up that fateful night.
The end of a newspaper may be a simple
manifestation of necessarily ruthless financial decisions, but it is also for us a time of
deep sentimentality.
We had hoped Vancouverites would take
to our light, tight and trite new Tab like
chimpanzees to a word-code computer. It
was our cherished goal to serve up to the
semi-illiterate a dog's breakfast of pix,
celebs, quotes, comix and fax each morning.
But it was not to be.
Those dreams are now shattered. Now we
will never get every person in the city into our
Slime of the Day, nor will the Dona Harvey
Award for Best Investigative Paragraph ever
be presented to one of our reporters.
Those of us who worked for you, the
reader, will not be gone. On radio talk
shows, in struggling magazines and in grubby
suburban weeklies, the spirit of The Province
will linger on. Perhaps now the Sun will complete its own transformation into a tabloid,
or at least pick up Gasoline Alley and Snake.
It has been a memorable eight months, but
now it has come to an end. All together now:
"I like it!"
Crack pupal security force is treined to repel Turks.
Pope, Jackson come together
Nana Mouskori and Michael Jackson will
open for Pope John Paul II's Mass when he
visits Vancouver latr this summer.
Pope organizing committe member Bill
Vander Zalm made the announcement Tuesday after Victoria's Monday magazine announced Sunday the Pope and Mouskori
would open for Jackson at a capital city concert Sept. 31.
Vander Zalm said the deal is part of a
"reciprocal arrangement" between the trio,
who will record both the concert and mass
for a Christmas release album.
"Holy smoke," said Gertrude Smith, the
president of the local Michael Jackson fan
club, "it has eternal possibilities."
Vander Zalm said Jackson will sing mass,
to the tune of Beat it, while the pope waves
incense around Jackson. "We will be taking
extra precautions, Michael's hair is very
flamable. We don't want a repeat of the
Pepsi near tragedy."
Just another Who in the race
VANCOUVER — A journey of a thousand miles (1,600 kilometres) starts with a
single step.
These thoughts must be coursing through
the mind of Laszlo McTavish-Smythe
Kowalski, or as he will heretofore be
known, the Face that Walks Like a Foot.
Kowalski, for the past 20 years a spike-
sharpener at the local university golf
course, has thrown his face into that paucity of ideas and talent that we've all come to
know and ignore as the federal Liberal
leadership race.
At 35,000 feet (10,000 metres) above
Moose Jaw, your average Liberal looking
down below sees the bleakness of his
party's future mirrored in the wheatfield
landscape below.
Think of how it feels for Kowalski, riding
in the baggage compartment.
But Kowalski's quixotic ride to the
Liberal leadership has made gains in the
past, oh, 45 minutes, that seem incredible.
From his start in total obscurity on the ill-
kept putting green, his profile has risen to
rival those of contenders Donald Johnston,
John Munro and Mark MacGuigan.
Uh, let me put that another way.
Actually, the meteoric candidacy of the
Face that Walks Like a Foot might have
passed unnoticed by even such a perceptive
wordsmith as me, the column that reads
like a dirge, but for the fact that my usual
foursome at the Point grey course started
without me.
In a blue mood, contrasting sharply with
the lotusland-BMW mellow I usually live
for, I went to the UEL course to dig a few
divots on my own.
And there I met Kowalski, the face.
"Sharpen your spikes?" he asked as I
savagely bent my putter around the peg at
the first hole.
I soon had occasion to recant the surly
epithet I first hurled his way when he came
to the real purpose of his advance. He
started talking, for no reason at all, about
the University of B.C.
He said that what UBC's vapid intellectuals need now are two qualities academics
lack — guts and persistence.
UBC's president as of last year, George
Pedersen, spoke to every major chamber of
commerce this last year, from Spuzzum to
Yahk; he spoke with the print and video
medias and the rag The Ubyssey, all with
the hope of influencing the public in favor
of the university against the Socreds.
The actions were akin to the captain of
the Titanic shouting to the waves to turn
back the iceberg which sank him — nive effort, poor strategy.
Meanwhile, the faculty bravely simpered
in the hold, discussing new wave and wind
dynamics theories. The board of governors
said the shock might cause favorable alterations to the skiff.
Hot-damn, I thought, he talks just like
He tossed in a few more jabs at the province, dazzled me with some figures on
federal education spending, and I was sold.
He left off with a siren call to the UBC
faculty, for years B.C.'s best springhead for
effete Liberals.
He said that despite all their efforts the
ship sunk. The only hope it salvaging the
wreck with an ounce of guts, persistent
Faculty members — who will soon have
lost their jobs without muttering — could at
least, as an example to others, mutter a
belated whimper from the ocean's murky
bottom by voting non-confidence in their
executive, who signed a firing proceedure
for them behind their backs.
And with that, Kowalski dropped his
spike-sharpener and headed in the direction
of the airport, slapping Air Canada baggage stickers on himself as he went.
FRom the general area of UBC, a new
political force, rivaling past such past UBC
spewings as John Turner, Pat Carney and
J.V. Clyne.
If you see him again, remember, you read
it here first. Page 4
Editorial rages
Scab tab fab,
not drab
We're back.
But not for long.
The paper you're reading today isn't quite the same as
The Provice you might be used to.
In fact, while some of the writers may be familiar to you,
most their copy was written before this ridiculous strike
The rest was written by, well . . .us.
Yes, we're scabs. And damn proud of it because we're
getting pay cheques.
We're the management of this paper, and we're certainly
not going to let those greedy unions beat us, are we? No
way. Besides, we make more money than them. And we
have cushier jobs than they do, and so why should we have
to suffer?
Nobody said we were journalists, and even less will
make that claim after reading today's paper, but we care.
About our jobs. About our salaries. About ourselves.
We used to care about you. But no more.
That compassion is gone along with the future of this
bright new, acab Tab. Light, tight and trite, the great experiment seems to be over before it began. A hiccup in
The death of this paper will depend solely on a financial
basis, the way it should be. The Southam Way.
But someone has to benefit from this.
And that's why we're putting this paper out. To help
Sure, we're not very good writers. And our layout
stinks. And we can't spell to wel. But we've never pretended to be anything but the cold, heartless bastards that we
really are.
$35,000 goes up in smoke
a r
J. Bob Carter can seem to get away with
I am incensed that Vancouver's flamboyant oil tycoon can flaunt the law and
smoke inside B.C. Place stadium.
What does he think he is — above the
law? While the masses sat and drank their
beers, without cigarettes, the Vancouver
Whitecaps owner sat in his $35,000 a year
private box area and smoked — against
stadium rules.
If he can get away with this, what is to
stop him from getting away with something
Shame on you J. Bob.
Thanks, Bill
I would like to thank Premier Bill Bennett for all the great things he has done fir
this province and my family.
All my All mah family are employed in
jobs that pull in the loot, and our new used
car is the best we've ever had.
Bumbler Ridge
Union likes Bill
Beautiful B.C. Place has greatly enriched
the atmosphere in the West End. The Grey
Cup attracted so many beautiful people to
wander through the scenic neighborhood
and to park their cars where us hoods can
steal them.
The pickpockets and thieves of the West
End thank Bill for inviting so many tourists
to Vancouver.
Eat it
I applaud the efforts of our caring and
benevolent Social Credit leaders in trying to
keep the wolves from our doors, but I want
to let our beloved premier know that our
family is already trying to relieve the
pressure on government by taking positive
action of our own.
Perhaps our example will make the wolf
hunt unnecessary. The last time the wolf
was at our door, we ate him.
Just evicted, Vancouver
Pathetic plea
We, the undersigned former employees
of The Province, would like to register our
disagreement with the above editorial and
That was not me you saw last Friday night cruising through the West
End and unsuccessfully trying ta talk
those women into getting into my
car. I was definitely somewhere else
between 10 and 11:30 p.m. And I was
not drunk.
And if it was me, I was only trying
to get more information in order to
convince the federal government
something has to be done about the
hooker problem. But it wasn't me
City Hall, Vancouver
disavow any connection with the April 4,
1984 edition of The Provice.
In addition, we would like to present to
the newspaper's readership the following
statement of our reasons for
and 57 others
Sick and tired
I think all right thinking people in this
province are sick and tired of being told
that ordinary decent people in this province
are fed up with being sick and tired.
I am certainly not, and I'm sick and tired
of being told that I am.
(aided by M.P.)
Dave sickens
I was disgusted to see pictures of Dave
Barrett and his merry band of pinkos
published in your paper March 15. As a
Grade 8 student who already knows from
our premier who art in Victoria that commies are bad, and Dave The Red is a commie. I would rather see pictures of Rev.
Jerry and Mr. Reagan which set good examples for younger children to group up
Crowley is my favorite author and it was
only by the sinister influence of that horrible man that it was made possible for me to
be photographed in any dimension.
My favorite author is a pre-Christian
Chaldean philosopher whose works were all
burned by the Moslems and whom I read by
way of ancestral memory, and instead of
my picture you ran one of a mangy
orangutang. You owe me some money,
Slough, England
Black book
No dimension
Help me. I am not a faceless number, I
am a free being and I do exist. Your
photographer   wrote   down   that   Alistair
I am writing a book (for profit and/or a
tax deduction), about the Black Hole of
I was wondering if you could possibly
find out if by any remote chance any of
your readers were in said Hole in or about
Please call me at (416) 585-5222 at your
expense — Canadian authors can't afford
collect calls — if you can help me.
The East
Letters will be considered for publication
when right-wing authorship can be authenticated by telephone, carrier pigeon or Michael
Walker. Cute letters will also be considered,
despite authorship. Please give home and
business telephone numbers (tough luck if
you are unemployed). The editor reserves the
right to condense letters, take phrases out of
context, or to file your poetic prose in the big
round filing cabinet, along with the remnants
of lunch.
=nuuiiuiiiiifHiiiiiiiiiiiiiHiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiifiHiiiitiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiifiiiiiiiitiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiifiiiiiiiiiiiiiii urn iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiuuiiiiiujiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitiiiiiiiiiiuiiiiuiM Page 5
OTTAWA — Meaning no disrespect
to My colleagues across the land, but a
good number of them have taken to
grand standing lately, soley for public
attention if you can believe it.
And since the Day After Mr.
Trudeau emerged from the most important blizzard in 16 years of stormy
Liberal weather, it's gotten worse. (Of
course you'll remember I predicted
Trudeau's resignation would be on
Feb. 29 in My March 1 column printed
in The Provice.)
It all started at the press conference
with Liberal party president Iona Cam-
pagnola here in Ottawa.
Somebody should have crazy glued
columnist Douglas Fischer's pants to
the press centre chairs. Every time I
went to ask a question, there was
Fischer. I'm sure it was no coincidence
that it happened to be a nationally
televised event since Fischer, like
others, wouldn't bother otherwise.
And then there's Mike Duffy, the
humpty dumpty of Canadian journalism. Duffy doesn't have to compete
for television time. But the way he was
gladhanding at the B.C. provincial
Liberal convention last weekend,
you'd think Mike was racing for the
(We often refer to each other in columns by our first names in the hope
the favour will be returned someday.)
You're probably wondering how a
national columnist gets information
for a regular column — not thay My
columns are regular.
In fact My wife tells me at the
breakfast table that they're irregular.
She says 'Chuck, they're just like
you Chuck. Right of to Lunch.' My
wife has a bad sense of humour, unlike
It's not hard to get information
when you're a national affairs columnist. From across the land, tips and tat-
tlings come in about colleagues all the
For example with Duffy, an old
Liberal friend called up and said he'd
seen Mike in John Munro's hospitality
suite drunker than Harvey Kirck.
"Does he always get that drunk on
Liberal cabinet minister's booze?" she
Well, I thought to Myself, with
those type of standards Mike will never
be the kingmaker I am. Munro!
Grandstanding hasn't always taken
the form of grabbing the bright lights
of TV. Alan Frothingham, the Natural
Groupie of Print (NGP), is always
grandstanding, to be blunt.
It's not uncommon for the Froth to
ad nauseum moan about how it's not
the same here as in Vancouver while
he's getting sloshed at the National
Press club.
But he needs to get attention
somehow since his column doesn't get
much lately.
The trouble with Frothingham, my
friend Alan, apart from his preoccupation with West Coast weather, is his
obvious inability to prognosticate the
countries future.
It used to be that Frothingham and
Myself were fighting for readers in the
two competing Vancouver dailies.
As it turns out, when the two major
chains sorted out which company
would get what city, we ended up in the
same paper. But also it turns out, The
Provice will cease publishing after My
column appears in this edition.
It's a sad day when a paper folds —
even the Provice.
Commie threat spreads
Recent events in the Maldive Islands have
given the Reagan administration yet another
fpreign policy headache. The Maldives, a
cluster of tiny atolls scattered through the Indian Ocean somewhere to the south of India,
are perhaps best known because of the fact
that outside of the people who live in the
islands, few other people on earth have ever
heard of them, know where they are, or care.
According to my always reliable informats,
this time corroborated by a lengthy illustrated
story in Jerry Falwell's newsletter, young male
Cubans are slowly infiltrating the Maldivian
social system. In the past 12 months, four
Cubans have been granted extended visas, bringing to 11 the number who have surreptitiously settled there during the past three
years. Ostensibly fishermen, my informant
tells me the Cubans collectively own three
fishing boasts, eight machetes, two Toyota
Kingcabs, and three Lee Enfield rifles. The
Cubans have evidently justified the Lee En-
fields by saying they use them for dispatching
sharks entangled in their fishing nets, as dealing with hammerheads using the machetes is
not to their tastes.
A likely story. As the Falwell article points
out, at the present rate of Cuban migration, in
another five years the Cuban presence will be
sufficient to overthrow the Maldivian government and take over, at least in the minds of the
Maldivians who actually know they are being
governed and by whom.
This would present the U.S. with no end of
problems. The Cubans, always the stooges of
the Kremlin, as my readers know, would then
be in a position to threaten the Islamic states
from the southeast, that is if they can find a
base between the Persian Gulf and the
Maldives. The Maldives themselves are so
isolated their strategic value is practically
nonexistent. Despite the fact that all the maps I
have looked at show there is nothing between
the Maldives and the Gulf but Indian Ocean, I
am certain such bases exist. The last edition of
the John Birch Society newsletter reports the
Russians are working on a gigantic artificial
island just for such a purpose.
In addition, a communist presence in the
Maldives would give the warlords in the
Kremlin something they have never had
before, a Soviet equivalent to Hawaii and
Florida to sun their atrophying bodies in.
American intelligence is mortified by this
thought, for they have long feared that should
the Russians discover the joys of Bain de Soleil
and skindiving they might turn their rapacious
appetites elsewhere in search of other sun and
surf spots. In the NATO alliance, such an oc-
curance   would   put   a   severe   psychological
strain on members such as France and Spain,
with their abundance of Mediterranean
beaches and affordable tourist accomodation.
In the past, for reasons which have always
escaped me, the Soviets have directed their in-
triques at such dumps as Afghanistan and
Poland, neither of which Arthur Frommer
deemed it necessary to write tourist guides
about. The attitude in the West was, hell, if its
Afghanistan they want let them have it, we'll
just make a token protest.
The Maldive situation has the strategists in
the U.S. state department in a quandry. They
look at what all those years in the California
sun, did to President Reagan, and thank their
lucky stars the geezer is so senile his handlers
can keep him under check. The Politburo,
consisting of twelve Reagan equivalents, is
another matter. To this end, I've learned from
an anonymous Pentagon janitor, the U.S.S.
Missouri is being refitted to blow the Maldives
off the map and show the Soviets the Reagan
administration means business.
My informant assures me the Pentagon is
confident this is a military engagement they
can win, thus restoring American prestige in
the eyes of right wing columnists like myself
who think the U.S. has been far too soft in
standing up to the Kremlin. In addition such a
move would relieve world tension, all the
peaceniks being gratefull that once again the
U.S. asserted their version of "the right stuff"
on another tiny, insignificant country instead
of someplace important where the consequences might be fateful.
More on this in my next column after 1 finish
the newest Robert Ludlum novel.
Turner's old hangout the same
In the past two days, ever since John
"Chick" Turner decided to go for the number-
two job in Canada (number one is Conrad
Black's) yours truly has been bombarded by
requests from varied sources, from BCTV to
my teenage daughter (she kept mumbling
about "those blue eyes" for so long, 1 thought
Frank Sinatra was coming to town) to tell of
the days when Chick and I worked together at
The Ubyssey.
I've spent so much time talking about them
that it finally got me wondering how these
poor students today put up with queries about
Johnny's lurid past. Thus, I decided to pay a
little visit to my old west of Alma Mater's student journal.
And why not? After all, these were children
of the computer age. They'd probably gone
soft, typing silly stories based on old journalistic maxims into some IBM super printing
press. I was sure that they could use some advice from an old pubster like myself, who was
weaned on Underwoods, deadlines, and beer
— lots of beer.
It's amazing how things change. After
tumbling off the bus, the first thing I noticed
on my way to Brock Hall was that they put a
two-storey building over my favorite makeout
spot. (Sorry, my contract says one stupid, leering innuendo per column. You want humor,
read Grim Failure.)
The second thing I found out, much to my
embarassment, was that the Ubyssey office had
moved. After spending twenty minutes in a
large, plush room, watching eager reporters
pore over story ideas neatly typed and posted
on bulletin boards. I suddenly realized that I
was sitting in the unemployment office. They
didn't just move to another room, they had
moved to another building altogether. I finally
got directions to the new premises, which turned out to be in that new building.
I soon learned that the architects of the new
building didn't know how to design doors.
This one was too small. Finally a ten-year-old
kid — probably some editor's younger brother
— gave me a tug and I squeaked thru.
"Thank you very much, young man," I
said, tipping the boy a quarter.
I paused in my wheezing to look at my surroundings. I liked the unemployment office
better, though I admit this was more reminis
cent of the old days. There were typewriters
and paper everywhere.
Boy. Some things HAD changed.
I was introduced :o the cufrent staff — barely children, I thought to myself. All in all, they
were a polite bunch, although I'm not sure
why they kept talking about their old colds.
Must have been some epidemic here recently —
everyone kept talking about the "old hack"
and how to get rid of him.
You know how that old adage goes — things
change, but some things stay the same. It was
certainly true in my case.
In the first place, the group went out for pizza. When I worked here, we did the same
thing, ordering from Mel's Pizza. They were a
favorite of Chick's, I remember, he liked them
because after eating one he could use his
breath as a lethal ^weapon, especially against
the chief, Les Boweley.
In the second place, some kids were still
pounding away on their typewriters. I don't
hear that sound very often nowadays. It
brought me back to those times when Chick
and I and the rest of the crew started pounding
on the keys, to give ol' Les the impression that
we were busy. We managed to fool him very
well; I guess he thought the gibberish he pulled
out of our typewriters was Latin or Greek or
You see, if we weren't busy, then Les would
assign us to type the classifieds, or what they
now call Tweens. We regarded them the same
as we regarded condoms: necessary for our
livelihood, but em harassing to work with.
(Hey, another one. Next coy double entendre
means a bonus.)
I walked over to one of the people who was
typing and asked him why he was in such a
hurry. He looked up at me and replied,
"Because if I don't get this finished on time
we'll be at the printers 'til three in the morning
He didn't know how lucky he was. In my
day, when 0300 rolled around, we were still in
the office, listening to Les as he gave us
another lecture on the evils of Communism.
We were lucky in sneaking some booze in,
disguised as tea. Chick was usually asleep on
our couch, training for his future career as an
Looking around the office again, I smiled to
myself and imagined Les dying of apoplexy the
■moment he walked in.
And finally, in the middle of the meeting,
one of the guys got up and walked into an adjacent office. Five seconds later he walked out
and rejoined the group — with a bottle of beer
in his hand. Delighted, I too walked to that adjacent office. I should have known the guy
who designed the first door would have designed the second. Finally someone pulled me out,
walked in, emerged with two bottles and handed me one.
"How much is in there?" I asked.
TheProvi ce
a Southam newspaper
Geriatric Hasbeen Publisher
Slob McSlurry Managing Editor
Damn Mworth..... Editorial Page Editor
W.C.(Suck) BreederAdvertMng Director
Nuke Tehran Circulation Manager
Editorial Bored:
Psycho Walker, Geriatric Haabeen,
Damn IMworth, Faiow Overdue
2133 Gramme St., Vancouver, B.C.
G ifs Hot 3 gets 2
Laat year no union label
Member of the B.C. Confess Coundil Existing
TheProvi ce
April 4, 1984
Page 6
Plump centre seen
Gilessa Van Plumpter says she'd like to
see the West End become the dance centre
of North America by 1990 — and when
Plumpter sets her mind it has a way of happening.
Plumpter, 18, is the red bloooded ex-East
Ender who's responsible, under foot
department boss Flex Medadarsal for the
end's art's flatenning program. She's the
one — who started dancing practically in
utero — who makes the decision about
which mother gets dancing lessons in the
first trimester of pregnancy.
She is also the one who tries to get the
new arts and culture fetuses off the ground
— but like the pre-conception movement
exercises scheme, it's still under review.
In a minor way, she practices what she
advocates. She has done some fetal directing at the zygote level, and is a member of
the West End's musical under water birthing and breathing society.
Feige Bulber, manager of the Underwater
Symphony Sociedty, says "East-Enders
need a person who is prepared to join the
struggle to dance everywhere including
under water, and the city is fortunate to
have Gilessa."
What makes her so successful with the
dance community is her no-nonsense support of unborn or potential dancers. In
N>    I
Gilessa's scheme of things backs are the last
to get scratched.
Gilessa didn't plan to stay in the West
End — but the water won her over. She
took a job in January that was established
by another red-blooded East-Ender,
pioneer cultural water breaker Marina
Her first major move was the production
of a major submarine survey of the economic impact of the arts and flats on the
ocean floor. And it's that as much as
anything that won her credibility in the
local swimming pool (where, in a time of
restraint, chlorine grants are annually
She also wins friends with her commitment to culture in the broadest sense. Not
just the West Coast but also the Atlantic.
^lllllIllllMlllllllllllllIlllllllllllllllllllllllIlllllllllllllllllllIlllllIlllIIIIIIUIIIItlll Illllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll^
■i    ,'S
~\__ r~
Little Prince William has joined in the fine
old family tradition of pestering and maiming small wild animals. All of Britain was
cooing and chuckling last week over pictures
in all the leading newspapers of the heir to
the throne swinging a hedgehog at the end of
a rope.
The pictures were taken after a royal hunting trip at Balmoral Castle which yielded a
bag of 14 pheasant, seven hares and a
poacher. ■ ■ ■
Brooke Shields has added another award to
her collection.
The teenage model, who is also allegedly
an actress and a student at Princeton, has
been crowned "Miss Eyebrows '84" by the
Facial Hair Club of Philadelphia.
Shields, whose eyebrows have been steadily
growing together since she was 12 years old,
easily outdistanced her nearest competitor,
actress Kristy McNichol, who has decided to
grow a beard.
If you have an IQ of 19 or underline
want to be our Slime of the Day, you're
too late because the paper has folded.
We'll say it slowly so you can read our
lips. Paper won't come no more,
SP^W*   ef       rJMT- *% '"*•      "' " ■-■» =
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=  WnWWmmWmWLmmmmm-^mmW 4F      ^Mjmt—m     m ^ * -—**JniiiirssWr-1»issssssW =
Newspapers are so boring — don't you think?
—Sly Stone
Sometimes it's hard to think up a column, just the way it was probably hard for
Sly to know just exactly what to sing that
would take us all higher in those innocent
naive days of meth freaks and street battles.
Like, sometimes I'm sitting in a
restaurant with one of my friends who are
so adamnant about remaining anonymous
if I write up the experience in my column,
and nobody, I mean nobody around us says
anything that could be turned into a few
paragraphs of cultural naval-gazing.
I mean, gimme a break. Oh, you know,
you think it's easy. I just have to listen to
some weepy AM radio song on my to
aerobics class and right away I'll be able to
chat about some new behavior that's expected of the Modern Woman. Well it so
happens I listen to FM at home and I have a
friend who explains it to me so I can chat
about the meaning of Bob Dylan, too.
What was I talking about? It'll come to
me. Something always does. I mean, if
nothing else I can always give another try at
reading the newspaper. (Newspapers are so
boring, don't you think?)
Well. Here's a news item. It's about rock
vidios. Isn't that nice? You bet.
Oops. Forgot to tell you the whole
business gives me a feeling of vague
foreboding. Rock videos, newspapers,
everything. Not that I feel I know enough
to take a stnad on any of it, you know, it's
all so complicated, but gosh it all sounds so
serious and it just gives me the creeps.
Like when I see some show on television
(I forget which one, either the one in the
kitchen or the one on the balcony; I know I
was eating something exotic at time, I
forget what) and it's all about how the
world really could come to an end, or
maybe keep on going but all these awful
things could happen.
And right away, I know I've got to say
something about it, about the way it
reminds me of bubble gum. I mean the way
that after it loses its flavor the gum won't
even stay soft' it gets so hard and rubbery.
Grody, eh?
Then there's the sexual revolution, which
I read somewhere is the only revolution in
which volunteers find it hard to enlist. Sure,
I keep in touch with it mostly through joke
books, but you don't know how many I
have to research and besides it allows me to
write off my Garfield collection on my income tax.
I once read a wonderful piece about how
the sexual revolution betrayed us. It talked
about us "buying" ideas and images — of
bodies, of people, of sexuality — as surely
as we buy our cars or houses. And wouldn't
you know, I looked all over for a price list
but they'd left out the important stuff.
It's almost as if no one anywhere cards
strongly enough to make their emotional
commitments a reality. No, I'm not being
hysterical; I'm just wondering.
There's often this thought in the back of
my mind, just where I can't reach it, that
television commercials are not the best
reflection of what our lives are like and that Serious business
TheProvi ce
April 4, 1984
Page 7
v Bill flaunted
Just one week after the End of the Recession, and in defiance of a new law, several
food banks and unemployment centres have
kept their doors open to the public.
And there are signs the anarchy could
The new law, Bill C-368, which went into
effect Monday, forbids the operation of an
unemployment centre, welfare office, food
bank or day care centre.
The law, passed in the House of Commons
and supported by all provinces, came on the
heels of the End of the Recession, which was
announced by federal and provincial governments March 29, (now a national holiday).
But some rebel social centres, said to be
ruled by extremist social workers and unemployed youth, are refusing to shut their
And that's got some government officials
"Where's a rifle, I just need a rifle," yelled
B.C. environment minister Tony Brummett.
"Shot 'em. Just shoot 'em. Kill. Blood,
traps. . .arrrrgh. . .commie wolves. . .kill."
But B.C. premier Bill Bennett said Brum
mett's stance did not echo government policy. "We are not looking at killing these people, which would be a resource-waste and,
perhaps, a negative thing for negative people.
We are examining alternatives."
Some of the protesting social centres have
vowed to remain open until the new law is repealed, or exams are almost over, or until
"we are carried out on bloody sticks," said
one of the terrorists.
Bennett, the provincial cabinet, federal
representatives, and policy advisors such as
Psycho Walker of the Fraser Institute, a
right-wing drunk tank, are all meeting in Ke-
lowna this weekend to discuss options available to them.
An informed source has told The Province
one of those options could be sterilization for
offenders. "It's an idea Walker came up
with," said the source, who asked not to be
identified but whose initials are N.S. "What
a card that guy is."
Other options to be discussed include internment camps, public floggings, garroting
and tying suspects over ant hills with honey in
their eyes and ears. But Bennett said there
Stockholders gather at University of B.C. for
first meeting after government sold universities
to private sector and students grabbed shares at
up to $1,500 a piece. Stockholders voted to buy
10 per cent share in government publications
and invest reserves in public school system,
now trading at all-time low.
Cocoa and friend Trigger
are just two of the many featured performers at this weekend's first annual International Beastiality Fair and Exposition at the PNE Agrodome.
Sponsored by the provincial government in its attempt to attract more
trade conventions, the affair is expected to draw delegates from around
the world, many of whom will be wearing sunglasses.
Government officials and private sector
employers warned Tuesday the province's
labor climate could turn worse following the
state execution of 10 of B.C.'s labor leaders,
The Provice has learned.
At a press conference Tuesday, attended
by a Provice reporter-photographer team,
Labor Minister Bob McClelland said the
shootings were the government's last attempt
to end the dispute and restore calm to the
province's industrial relations climate.
"The gloves are off," the labot minister
said in an interview later with The Provice.
"We regret this action was necessary, but
lawlessness and refusal to work cannot be
condoned in a free society," a ministry official told The Provice.
An investigation by The Provice has indicated, however, that employers' groups approve of the government's new tough line.
"Austerity and discipline are here to say,"
a businessman, who asked not to be iden
tified, told The Provice.
Bark Mulch, of the Confab of timber-
related industries, agreed in a phone interview with The Provice. "But I hope it's not
too late. The government may have delayed
too long before getting involved," Mulch is
reported to have said in a meeting with senior
government officals last week, The Provice
has learned.
A random sampling of opinion outside the
Redneck Bar and Grill, conducted by The
Provice, indicated strong support for. the
government's new tactic to arrive at a settlement with striking troublemakers.
"With unemployment at 50 per cent these
people should be at work instead of pro-
testihg what the government has been trying
to do," one man said.
"Yeah, that's right," another told The
"Exactly," said someone else.
Union officials were unavailable for comment.
The price of having
I'm madder than a one-legged rabbit over
the latest government intrusion in our lives.
Reports from Ottawa — or should I call it
Moscow — say the feds are going to step in to
reinstate mandatory motor vehicle testing.
I say an Island teenager death is a small
price to pay for all of us to have a little liberty
restored. The whining yap of those bleeding
heart, do-gooder Liberals back in Canada's
Kremlin only masks their real intention, the
installation of a godless, one-party socialist
state. What's a few deaths compared to stopping the imposition of a totalitarian regime?
Besides, when God in his infinite wisdom
decides your time is up, that's it, pal, you're
gone, and no amount of government intrusion into the lives of freedom-loving citizens
is going to change that.
I have here in my column the names of 205
Communists in the federal government, including the cabinet, the prime minister, and
most of the privy council office. Governor
General Ed Schreyer himself has more than
fifteen known Communist affiliations.
Their well-known plot for complete global
domination is well-documented, but you
would never know that from the reports we
read in most newspapers. Of course, anyone
who has even remote experience with politicians, journalists and the incestous relations
between the two groups shouldn't be surprised by the silence of the media towards this
dark threat.
Their silence on other matters is well
documented. For example, where was the
media during the Soviet-backed housing
crisis in Canada last year. In large cities and
small towns across the country, business executives were unable to buy reasonably-
priced mansions and modest estates. This
scandolous affair went undetected by the national media until they covered my seminar
last week.
Thankfully, we don't have much of that
nonsense, here. Our provincial government
has decided to listen to reason, a source sadly
lacking in these troubled days.
Did I say reason? I meant treason. At least
that's the case with NDP provincial caucus.
Their outrageous behaviour during the
budget "fight" is nothing short of a slap-in-
the-face to the Queen, Premier Bennett and
every right-thinking citizen in this province.
So there.
And what about rent controls? Those in
favor of them are also in favor of (and this is
well-documented) mind controls. The relationship between the two evils is clear to most
And those that don't see it clearly, can find
out more from my right-wing drunk tank, the
Fraser Institute. Write care of this paper. Imports
TheProvi ce
Page 66
Canadian's have made a sensational
breakthrough in the drug war that is being
fought out in international athletics, according to a Montreal chemist.
The scientist, who wished to remain
nameless, said that they have been able to
take up to two seconds off the 100m time of
some Canadian performers.
The amazing thing is that the discovery is
not in the field of pharmaceuticals but in
The research team, sponsored by a brewery
which wishes to remain nameless but who
own the television rights to the summer
Olympics, started out by trying psychological
methods. They would place a bus stop at the
end of the track and have the bus begin to
pull out as the starters gun went off.
"The problem was many runners, especially those from Vancouver, have hardly ever
seen a bus," said the scientist.
Next they tried to combine psychology
with anatomy. "We now know intimately the
bladder capacity of every one of our athletes.
At a carefully calculated time before the race
the runners drink an amount of beer
measured by a computer to fill their needs."
By the time the race starts they are desperate
to unfill their needs; hence the record times.
When asked if the athletes could still run in
a straight line the scientist said "yes, because
we give them U.S. beer".
Put a tanked tiger in right place
Sure I'm short. And so's this column.
But I don't like jokes about it, and that's
why I'm more than a little miffed with Dave
Williams' attempt to put me in a dressing
room waste-basket after yet another Canuck loss last week.
It seems the Tiger got a little sore about
a comment I supposedly made about his allegedly low IQ, and he returned with a jibe
about my height (or lack of it). I can take a
joke as well as the next guy past his prime,
but Tiger went a little overboard when he
tried to roll me into a little ball and throw
me away. You can't do that to the press.
Why am I telling you, faithful reader, all .
this? Perhaps it's because I think few people realize some of the hazards and hard
work that come with a five-time-a-week column.
Like what? Well, like having to leaf
through stacks and stacks of Sports II-
lustrateds, The Sporting News, Sport, and
Inside Sports magazines. My research techniques allow me to steal quotes, gossip and
other tidbits without having to actually go
out of the office and do original reporting.
And why should I? I've been writing this
column for what seems like a hundred
years, and I guess I'm entitled to a few
As a matter of fact, my altercation with
Williams was your faithful scribe's first visit
to a Canucks' game since their old glory
days when they played in the old Western
League in the old Forum at the old PNE.
But that doesn't stop me from waxing
eloquently and proficiently on pretty well
anything I darn like.
Take baseball, the great national pastime. It's spring again, but I can confidently
say the Tigers of Detroit will play like demons and grab the pennant in September.
But how do I know the Bengals will prevail?
I haven't been to a baseball game, let alone
a Tigers' game, since 1937, when men were
men and the word "spike" wasn't a pussy-
footer volleyball term. For wimps like me.
The knowledge in my old noggin all
comes from the mags I've mentioned. What
better way to do my job? It reminds me of
something old Ted Williams used to say to
me: "How come you're so short, dirt-
The reason I'm not even shorter, Teddy
Ballgame, is because I've stopped interviewing players like yourself (and Dave Williams, too) after they lose. I used to be over
six feet tall until I ran into a steaming Bobby Hull after a tight Black Hawk loss.
Gordie Howe, after a traffic accident in
which he was involved claimed the life of
another motorist: "I elbowed open the windows, and tried to pull the guy out of the
car, but it started to burn and he went up
faster than one of my backhands. Got, it
was hot. Can I have a drink?"
Remember how they introduced Tims
Bits at the Tim Horton donut shoppes a few
years back, just after the great defenceman
splattered himself across a few kilometres
of Ontario highway? Ever wonder where
they come from?
A trivia question: who killed Bill Master-
ton? Hint, they never won the trophy named after the late No-Star.
April 4, 1964
Page 8
in mud
The first international mud-slinging tournament dissolved today in a flurry of name
calling. A team from the U.S. led by ex-vice
president and building contractor, Spiro T.
Agnew, withdrew over what it characterized
as 'inacceptable epitheting'.
The event, organsed by Homemakers
magazine was intended to foster better international understanding. A spokesman for the
Kelowna winemakers, who were sponsoring
the tournament under the slogan 'An insult
to good taste in any language.' said that the
first prize, the Brezhnev boot, would be withheld this year.
The dispute was over a question of
parliamentary procedure. Under British rules
it is acceptable to insult an opponents integrity but not their honesty, but in America the
reverse applied.
When Canadian team member Eddie
Shack said of Mr. Agnew that he could
forgive him being a crook, a thief and a liar,
Mr. Agnew stood up to object. Afte the ex-
National League Hockey player had dealt
with his opponents objection he concluded
that what he objecte to was Mr. Agnew's
stupidity at getting caught. Mr. Agnew had
himself carried out.
Mrs. Crotchet, speaking for the
organizers, said the event had been a great
success. "There are those who believe that if
the peoples of the world could only understand each other their would be no international tensions. Today's events demonstrate
that the reverse is really true. If the Russian
people knew what most Americans think
about htem they'd drop the big one tomorrow."
Craps dump
They're rolling up the carpet at the Pacific
Coliseum. But before they carry it over to
B.C. Place so that Vancouver's premier
kickers can begin their second out-door
season indoors under the dome they'd better
get it dry-cleaned.
Johnny Gile wanted a team of little terriers, and that's what he got. Kept indoors
for the winter the lads did what any self-
respecting mutt would have; they doo-dooed
all over the rug.
In the end they stank up the arena on Renfrew St. so bad that no one would go near the
place when they played.
So what did the board do? They took their
pooper-scooper and shoveled out the trainer.
It's like blaming old professor Pavlov when
his dog barked. They should, of course, have
shot the dogs.
So, the indoor season was a bust. This was,
of course, entirely predictable. In Canada
even the football players go home in December and don't reappear until summer. God
made this country so that, for four months of
the year at least, hockey would be the only
team sport humans could play (unless you
count wolf-kills).
The fact they are in Vancouver and are
playing indoors does not detract from the error of the Whitecaps way and they were punished. While the Canuckleheads, who are
surely the chosen ones, were led into the
promised land of milk and honey and the
Smythe division playoffs (as predicted by
their holy prophet in this very column) the
pagan   sorcerers   were   visited   with   seven Page 16
Wednesday, April 4,1984
Good Woman
satisfies all
Three gods in search of one good
human being on earth pass through
Setzuan. Only one person is good
enough to provide them with a
night's lodgings, the prostitute Shen
Te. The gods depart happy that
their quest is fulfilled, happy with
their proof of goodness on earth.
Having coerced money from the
gods, Shen Te opens a tobacco
shop. She truly becomes a good person, philanthropic and extremely
generous. When the gods check
with the water boy on Shen Te's
progress, the audience see the gods
from their heavenly perch on the
Bertolt Brecht's
The Good Woman of Setzuan
Directed by Claire Brown
The audience is right on stage
with the players and the action. The
audience is invited into the play
through the Brechtian (alienation)
style of narrating a story; Brecht's
characters step in and out of their
roles to communicate directly with
the audience.
Having the gods amidst the wires
and props is an exercise in juxtaposing illusion with reality. This
theatrical device restores spectacle
to the theater. Brecht does not pretend to simulate reality, so his
scenes have a heightened sense of illusion: along with the actors we
step into the make-believe and
magic on stage.
The immediate intimacy of the
audience calls for a different kind
of set design. Designer Nancy Ford
created a three cornered set that
facilitated easy movement of action
and environment. Shen Te's shop
transforms quickly from a bare
abode to a lavish home and restaurant.
Pity is a thorn in Shen Te's side.
Those seeking help are parasites
who obviously take advantage of
her kindness.
But a fictitious uncle — really
Shen Te in disguise — takes care of
the dirty work, driving the parasites
away, and setting up a tobacco factory.
However, Shen Te becomes pregnant. As the pregnancy advances,
Shui Ta the uncle gets fatter and
She Te is seen less often until she is
completely replaced by the uncle.
Shui Ta negotiates a marriage for
Shen Te with the barber Shu Fu
(Robert Doyle). Shu Fu is inherently evil, but he inadvertently does
good in a self-serving way. Brecht's
play is an actor's show: total human
beings, multi-faceted, neither good
nor bad.
Meanwhile, the people of Setzuan accuse Shui Ta of harming
Shen Te. They accuse him of murder and put him on trial. The people
want the good woman back. By coincidence, the three gods are also
curious about Shen Te whom they
haven't seen or heard.
An illegal substitution of the
judges takes place, with the gods
disguised as the judges. They are
later recognized as the divinities by
the water boy (Lyle Moon, who
gives an excellent performance),
and the uncle requests a private audience. Shui Ta then reveals he is
the one and only Shen Te. The
ecstatic gods leave for heaven with a
job well done on earth. But Shen Te
and the rest of Setzuan aren't the
better for the deities' words of wisdom — "the gods help those that
help themselves." They even leave a
small problem of the unsolved trial
Every dilemma is left unsolved. It
is up to the audience to individually
find an answer with which to alleviate the human condition. But
some of the problems can be traced
to the solutions; for example,
religion with its unyielding book of
rules and Shen Te's socialism,
which   works   neither   better   nor
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Invest in the experience of a lifetime
Check out the Youth CANRAILPASS at your local
VTA Ticket Office or your travel agent, today!
8 Days
15 Days
22 Days
30 Days
N. A
$220 00
Cross (Canada
$210 00*
Canada East
of Winnipeg
$205 00*
Canada West
of Winnipeg
Quebec City/
Windsor Corridor
* Applicable from June 1 through September 30, 1984. Trips
may start or finish during this period. Other trips applicable during remainder of year until December 15, with the
exception of the Thursday before Easter to Easter Monday.
A 'South CANRAILPASS entitles Ihe holder to travel in regular
coaches. Du\nitcr. Club or sleeping cur accommodation as well
as meals may be purchased by paying Ihe applicable supplemental
A ticket for each journey must be secured from a VIA sales office.
On certain Irains. advance seat reservations are required. No
farther pa\ment is required, after the VIA Rail Youth
CANRAILPASS has been purchased.
Transport Canada
Lloyd Axworthy, Minister
Transports Canada
Lloyd Axworthy, Ministre
with the new VTA Rail Wednesday, April 4,1984
Page 17
Liberals meet at provincial conference
t®/% £
The standing joke about western
Liberals is the party's convention
could be held in a telephone booth
at the corner of Portage and Main
in Winnipeg.
With no elected MPs west of that
city and the party all but wiped out
provincially in the region, the
party's future looks bleak at best.
But in B.C., two leadership conventions have given the party a
moral boost which many Liberals
say will force the party to get larger
venues for future meetings.
That was the case when B.C.
Liberals met in Richmond on the
weekend to choose a new provincial
leader, hear speechs from six
federal leadership rivals and soak
up atmosphere in hospitality suites.
Mainly due to the June 16 federal
leadership vote, the convention
drew the largest attendance since
the 60s — 727 delegates, a few hundred observers, and a huge press
contingent. The feds almost overwhelmed the convention which was
scheduled before Trudeau quit Feb.
However, B.C. Liberals see a
chance to pick up support provincially by providing an alternative
for British Columbians beseiged by
polarized politics.
To that end they elected Art Lee,
a former city councilor and Vancouver East MP, as provincial
And federally, all candidates promised to elect Liberals from B.C. to
end Western alienation within the
party although few solutions were
put forth except to increase contact
between the federal and provincial
Federal party president Iona
Campagnola told delegates at a
Saturday banquet the party had to
forge a working relationship between the two wings.
"The Liberal party really is one
family and it is no longer heretical,
as it once seemed to be. To say that
'a Liberal is a Liberal is a Liberal in
this country,' " she said.
But in B.C. the slogan has been a
'Liberal is a Socred' since current
politicians like universities minister
Pat McGeer, intergovernmental affairs minister Gardy Gardom and
others abandoned the party to keep
the NDP out of power before the
1975 election.
Now the party's main goal is to
put the Socreds and the turncoat
Liberals on the opposition benches
along side the New Democrats.
"The election of Art Lee will bring the beginning_of the end of 30
years of conflicting extremes in this
"I take great joy in knowing that
today probably marks the end of
that Reagonesque parody that's going on in Victoria," Campagnola
Party officials say since Bennett's
June 1983 budget the party has
gained 2,000 new members. There
could be another 1,000 join before
the federal ridings elect delegates to
choose a replacement for Trudeau.
For  the  candidates,  the  early
leadership strategy isn't too complex — create an impression on
showing concern and knowledge of
B.C.'s problems, praise Trudeau
but show distance from his policies,
and entertain people while appearing frugal.
". . .a Liberal
is a Liberal
is a Liberal,"
All candidates did this.
With B.C. commanding about 10
per cent of all delegates, the province should see the serious candidates before the vote often.
"To get support in B.C. they're
going to have to come to B.C. We
didn't see the prime minister for
five years in one stretch," said
Steve Mullan, a UBC political
science student and Liberal party
"There's a lot of support for
Trudeau. Now that he's going."
At this point delegates and
members aren't looking contenders-
said Mullan. Disclosing policy too
early leaves a candidate open to
criticism from solid policies. "We
assume they're all good men. It's
the one who can motivate."
Other characteristics which will
give a candidate an edge are image,
organization at the convention, and
support from within the party,
Mullan said.
And with a similar delegate structure to the Tories another factor
which will be important is getting
support from women and youth.
"The youth will be a major consideration in developing their
policies," said B.C. Young Liberal
president James Hatton.
Of seven delegates elected in each
riding two will be under 25 years of
age for a total of 56 from B.C.'s 28
ridings and another 20 will be
chosen from university and other
youth clubs. The 76 youth delegates
represent about a quarter of those
going to Ottawa from B.C.
Women also get two delegates per
The two front runners, energy
minister Jean Chretien and former
finaince minister John Turner are
split, said Hatton. But Don
Johnson, has support on the Island
and John Monro Indian and northern affairs minister has a few supporters. Justice minister Mark
MacGuigan has a presence while
John Roberts employment
minister is almost invisible at this
Chretien put on the best display
of strategy. Although he arrived
late on Saturday, his entrance to the
banquet highlighted an otherwise
drab day. Roberts and MacGuigan
gave dull speeches that morning
which got little response from the
And on Sunday, Chretien stole
the day with a speech which put the
crowd on its feet. He held separate
meetings with youth and women
Youth through their energy and
enthusiasm gave former Conservative leader Joe Clark the leadership in 1976 and also contributed to
Brian Mulroney's victory in 1983.
Both Mulroney and Clark had
youth leaders placed high in their
organizing committees.
Chretien appears to have the edge
in attracting youth with Turner
close behind. MacGuigan's campaign is devoid of young supporters.
While Turner didn't have a
separate function at the convention
for youth delegates, he did give a
noon hour speech at UBC, his Alma
Other candidates have marginal
support among the youth and while
they mentioned unemployment in
their speeches, they didn't create
much appeal.
Starting April 6 and continuing
until May 9 the ridings will choose
the seven delegates to go to Ottawa.
. The regulations are tighter than the
Tories. Last minute sign up drives
are not expected.
Turner returns to Alma .Mater but fails to offer new ideas
A dashing John Turner returned
to his old student haunt Thursday
when he strode into The Ubyssey
As he flipped through old editions of The Ubyssey, Turner
reminisced about the time he was
sports editor in 1949. He chuckled
and said the sports page had always
been the most interesting section to
Although the man who would be
prime minister only stayed on campus for less than two hours, his
presence caused quite a stir,
especially among members of the
Young Liberals club who support
his bid for the leadership. The club
organized a meeting in SUB 207 to
allow Turner to impress them with
his skills at oration.
The eager young Liberals
presented Turner with a sweater at
the meeting's start. And in true
Liberal fashion, he donned it
ceremoniously before making a
short plea for support at the June
16 Liberal leadership convention.
Turner said the Liberal party
would be re-elected if he became
leader, urging the young people
gathered around him to participate
in politics especially in the West
where the Liberals need support.
"If we are going to make the
Liberal party a truly national party,
I am going to need your support."
The former minister of finance
stressed a vigorous new party would
have significant impact on provincial politics in B.C., adding the province needs a strong middle party.
"A broad consensus of the people is not really represented where
they should get representation."
Turner also stressed his party's
dedication to education. In a country where more than 1.5 million
people are unemployed, he said
education will give people necessary
training for future jobs.
"Education is so critical to our
health and prosperity. Any failure
to provide quality education on the
part of government is counter to the
interests of this party."
During the question period,
Turner was less able to come up
with platitudes. A number of times
he shamelessly avoided difficult
political questions.
One student urged Turner to
reveal his plan to re-establish a
Liberal presence in the West. But
his only reply was a promise to visit
moire frequently and he urged
Western Canadians to run as convention delegates.
Turner was also asked to explain
his plan to reduce the federal
government's deficit, an issue he
has addressed repeatedly since announcing his candidacy.
Turner said the deficit represented
more than $500 million in American
terms. However, he failed to propose a solution.
The media, political analysts and
even Liberal party members have
criticized Turner for not revealing
his views. Although he recognizes
his failure as a weakness, he said he
did not see his evasiveness as a
serious problem, attributing his
omissions to his short campaign.
"My campaign is only two weeks
old. The other candidates have been
planning theirs for years," he said.
"As long as the delegates know my
position on issues by June 16,1 will
have fulfilled my obligation to
At the meeting's end, Turner
removed his new sweater and
thanked the students who listened
to him.
"I remember what life was like
during exams, and I appreciate you
making the sacrifice to hear me." Page 18
Wednesday, April 4, 1984
Beyond Survival coming to grips with problem
Tn the last few years, the market
has been flooded with books dealing with the problems of nuclear
war,   peace,   and   disarmament.
Some, like Jonathan Schell's The
Fate of the Earth, have been sue-
Beyond Survival:
New Directions for the
Disarmament Movement
Edited by Michael Albert and
Dave Dellinger
South End Press	
cessful in alerting people to the
dangers which now confront
everybody on earth. But many of
these works fail to give any concrete
information either about the causes
of our atomic peril, or about ways
to defuse the situation.
A recent book which comes to
grips with such issues is Beyond
Actress excells
From Page 16
worse than the prior capitalism of
Shen Te's prostitute world.
Claire Brown is as much an
actor's director as Brecht's play is
an actor's show.
Playing both the uncle and the
ex-prostitute, Pauline Landberg
spends almost the entire two and a
half hours of the play on stage.
With the exception of fumbling
some lines, she played both parts
well. It wasn't the change of costumes that allowed us to accept her
as Shui Ta, the uncle, but rather
Landberg's assumption of male attributes — square shoulders, direct
gaze, elevated head, very little
movement of the hands and head
during speech.	
The Good Woman of Setzuan
was recently staged at UBC's Freddy Wood Theatre.
Survival: New Directions for the
Disarmament Movement. The 11
essays that make up the book are,
for the most part, well-written, informative, useful, and even inspiring. The articles probe the nature of
the threat of nuclear death, and
they also offer reasonable and well-
argued proposals for stopping the
war-machines on both sides.
One of the most important essays
by Noam Chomsky is on the links
between  interventionism  and  the
threat of a nuclear holocaust.
Chomsky argues that "a central
concern of the disarmament movement should be to lessen tensions
and conflicts at the points where
(superpower) war is likely to erupt
. . . There is often a great deal that
we can do, since not infrequently
U.S. policy has been instrumental
in maintaining and enflaming such
tensions and conflict."
The writings are oriented towards
the   U.S.,   but   Canada,   as   an
American ally and a NATO partner
is involved with Washington's
policies. Chomsky urges the peace
movement to try to prevent the
superpowers from intervening in
"hot spots" such as Central
America and the Middle East — the
type of behavior that is most likely
to escalate into a nuclear war.
The editors say one of the critical
problems confronting disarmament
groups is that "it must broaden its
constituency . . . but it must also
Paul Quarrington
"As it" the Brothers
Grimm and the
Brothers Marx had
conspired to perform
pratfalls while Freud
was looking on,
shaking his head."
— Toronto Slur
Home Game will make
surviving exams worthwhile!
Available in bookstores
for May
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deepen its critique of a society that
is . . . capable of threatening to use
weapons which can destroy the
human race."
In other words, the peace movement must address such "radical"
issues as racism, feminism, the
authority of the state, and even the
way individuals relate to one
another. At the same time it must
attract more people.
We are an established growing
microcomputer sales organization
who are looking to fill two
1. In-store microcomputer sales.
2. Direct sales of
microcomputers to
professionals and businessmen.
Previous experience in the area of
business sales is necessary and
knowledge of microcomputers an
Remuneration will be
commensurate with experience and
Please send resume to the
Personnel Manager.
Key Computer
1920 West Broadway
Phone 738-3541
The AMS will be sponsoring a referral
service for specific jobs. We will be
advertising extensively in the community and will refer employers to you.
It is partly on a first registered, first
referred basis. The JOB LINK Office
will be located in the Ski Club (2nd
Floor SUB) this summer, beginning
May 1st.
the Lounge Area of the AMS business
office (2nd Floor SUB).
Services we will be offering:
• Window Washing ($$$)
• Garden Work
• Household Services (Cleaning)
• We may be able to refer you to full time summer
• If you have any innovative suggstions we'll put
you on the top of our list for that service.
We will be concentrating on those services
students are the most interested in, so fill out your
application accordingly. If you feel you need training, let us know and we may be able to help you.
Direct questions to
SUsT Wednesday, April 4,1984
Page 19
Roosen enters AMS office illegally
Peter Roosen, student council
science representative, gained illegal
access to the Alma Mater Society
vice-president's office and the AMS
business office late Monday night,
The Ubyssey learned.
Roosen was in the business office
searching through a binder listing
all authorized users of SUB keys at
2:15 a.m.
Upon being discovered, the
visibly shaken Roosen said he is
allowed access to the office at all
times because he is a council
member. "I work here. I'm on
council, and that's management.
I've been (involved) in the AMS a
long time, so 1 deserve some
privileges in the office," he said.
Roosen opened the AMS bookings clerk's desk drawer and produced several keys to demonstrate
his right to use the office at his
"It's perfectly all right for me to
go through the place any time I
want. Big fucking hairy deal."
Roosen, who lost the January
election for vice-president to Doug
Low, said he was using Low's office
for study purposes.
But  Low  said   Roosen  had  no
reason to be in his office. "I find it
difficult to see what the reasons are
for using my office at two in the
morning. If you want to study,
there's all sorts of other places
available," he said.
He added Roosen had no permission to use either his office of the
AMS office, saying he changed his
office lock last week after two
AMS general manager Charles
Redden and projects co-ordinator
Linda Singer agreed with Low that
Roosen has no authority through
council to use the AMS offices outside office hours.
Singer said a substantial number
of individual office and master keys
ar unaccounted for. "There are a
lot of people who seem to obtain
keys. It's very concerning."
Low said there have been other
incidents of misuse in the AMS offices. "There was a staff complaint
of unauthorized use of the AMS
computer on the weekend of March
31," he said.
Items including an electric pencil
sharpener, typerwriter balls,
packages of paper and coffee have
been stolen from the office, he added.
He said the AMS should control
Feds' grant may
not reach UBC
The federal government's recent
transfer of $174 million to the B.C.
government does not necessarily
mean the funds will be used for
post-secondary education and
health — areas in which the provincial government has made severe
"The B.C. government will probably take the typical position and
not transfer the money to education
because it is a block-grant which is
non-categorical," said UBC administration president George
UBC is not counting on the funds
to help off-set cutbacks, he said.
Pedersen's fear is shared by other
education spokespeople who want
the provincial government to increase its funding to post-secondary
"It is not under a legal obligation
to use this money for higher education, but it has a moral obligation,"
said faculty association president
Dennis Pavelich.
"The universities and colleges
ought to put as much pressure as
they can on the provincial government to use this money for higher
education," added Donald Fisher,
a committee of concerned
academics member.
NDP finances and university
education critic Lome Nicholson
said he thinks the Social Credit
government will likely pass over
education and use the money to
. alleviate the provincial deficit.
"The Socred government has to
make up for the financial bungling
it did the previous year," Nicholson
said. "This is not extra money. It
has to be used to make up for the
financial shortfall in the budget."
Although federal finance
minister Marc Lalonde admonished
the B.C. government for cutbacks
in post-secondary education and
health when he announced the
transfer earlier this week, he did not
stipulate how the province should
use the $174 million.
That's because the provincial
government has autonomy in
dividing up the transfer, Doug
Clarke, director of federal and provincial relations said from Ottawa.
The federal government agreed to
the transfer in light of declining
provincial revenues in 1982-83.
and develop guidelines for the use
of the AMS office area. Some procedures are already in place to deal
with unauthorized office use, he
Low said the SUB proctor has in
structions to investigate any
unusual activity in the building.
"As far as I was informed, anyone
using my office late at night should
be questioned."
A building supervisor summoned
to the business office neither questioned nor ejected Roosen from the
office. Redden said he will investigate the incident, adding he is
especially concerned by the supervisor's failure to take action.
— arnold hedstrom photo
CHICK TURNER RETURNS to his former haunt, the Ubyssey newspaper, to reminisce of days gone by.
Former Ubyssey sports editor and squishy liberal leadership loon came to pick up major endorsement from sardonic Ubyssey editors and promises of good coverage during the campaign.
Birds may leave WIFLCIAU
The Thunderbird football team's
proposal to abandon the Western
Intercollegiate Football League
could seriously jeopardize the
eligibility of other UBC athletes.
locked out of prison education
University of Victoria has been
locked out of the prison education
University administrators charged that Corrections Service Canada
failed to provide UVic with the
same information it gave other
universities interested in administering the program.
Although UVic initiated and
operated the program for 12 years,
the university lost the contract to
administer post secondary education in B.C.'s penitentiaries because
it refused to charge user fees according to the terms specified by the
federal government.
Administrators said they are not
only angry at losing the contract to
Simon Fraser University, but at the
government's failure to indicate
how the new fee policy was to be
administered.,   ...       ...   ....
"tJiir   understanding   was   fees'
would come out of money (only a
few dollars a day) prisoners receive.
They would have to make decisions
like going without cigarettes to take
a course," said Glen Farrell, UVic
director of university extensions.
Farrell said he heard the government told SFU that fees could be
deducted from prisoners' compulsory savings, which the inmates
receive upon release. As a result,
prisoners will not have to forgo any
"luxuries" if they want to enrol in a
course, he added.
"Had we known this, we (UVic)
would have accepted the CSC
criteria that fees be charged," he
Tom D'Aquino, CSC regional
manager of communication, denied
the government presented different
information, to the universities vying for the program.
"No government department,
uflless they're crazy', would'give out
different information. I'm surprised someone at L'Vic would come up
with that."
He added he had no idea how
much fees would be, saying responsibility for payment would rest on
the individual. 'They could write to
their father and get him to send the
Solicitor Genera! Robert Kaplan
reversed December 1983 his earlier
decision to close the post secondary
program in Canadian penitentiaries, on the condition al!
prisoners would be charged $20 for
1.5 units. The government invited
all universities to submit proposals,
Farrell said.
UVic administrators were concerned about the new criteria
because they felt charging less for
post secondary education in prisons
is discriminatory when other prison
education courses are free, he added.
The athletic department is
negotiating with the men's athletic
committee to transfer the UBC
football team to the Evergreen Conference. But the transfer could
result in the temporary or permanent suspension of other UBC
teams from the Canadian Interuniversity Athletic Union.
The football team is currently a
member of the Western Intercollegiate Football League, which is
part of the CIAU, the governing
body for university athletes in
UBC athletic services director,
Bob Hindmarch, denied that money
is a motive for the move to the
Evergreen Conference, of which
Simon Fraser University and several
west coast U.S. universities are
members. "Scholarships are not the
issue," he said.
Under current CIAU rules, teams
can only offer financial aid through
provincial government bursaries.
Hindmarch said he had no idea if
the split would result ;in more
scholarships, even though the
Evergreen Conference does not
limit scholarships. And SFU, the
only Canadian university not a
member of CIAU, is reknowned for
offering much larger scholarships,
especially to football players.
But a break from the CIAU could
have serious ramifications for other
UBC varsity athletes. The CIAU
could ban all UBC teams from competition temporarily or permanently.
Doug Low, men's athletic department president, said the union is
proposing mid-week games which
could cut down on player's study-
time. The CIAU also plans to start
the season one week earlier, meaning the national championship
would occur during Grey Cup
"It would deny the player an opportunity for longer employment
because he would have to start
working out sooner," Low said.
Varsity athletes are not permitted to
hold a job during their respective
seasons. Low added fewer people
would attend the two games
because the season starts in August.
By joining the Evergreen Conference, the football team could
lose their travel subsidy. Hindmarch said the travel money was insignificant and would not be a factor in the transfer decision.
He said the UBC—SFU Shrum
Bowl could resume if football
shifted to the Evergreen Conference. Page 20
Wednesday, April 4, 1984
The Provincial Government began its planned reduction of post-secondary educational
funding last Sunday, April the 1st, 1984. These reductions in funding for the next school
year (84-85) will exceed 50 million dollars.
The    Federal    Government    has    expressed    a    concern    over    this    .    .    .
. . . WHY? There are three main points:
An increase of $27 million in Federal funding for post-secondary
education in B.C., for the year (84-85), was not passed along to
the institutions. Instead this money has been allocated to finance
large-scale capital expenditures, such as North-East coal, whose
economic justifications are questionable. There is a constitutional
principle at issue here. The Fed's pay over 80% of post-
secondary costs in B.C. Do they, therefore, have a right to exert
a degree of control over post-secondary education?
Funding cut-backs will adversly affect B.C.'s ability to function
successfully in the increasingly important and complex "global"
and national economies.
The right of everyone who is qualified to attend a post-secondary
institute regardless of their financial situation. It's called accessibility. The Federal Government is committed to it, the Provincial government is not.
Consider this:
Engineers: Under these new funding reductions, a "geer" in the
first year of a four year program will pay an additional $1,600 in
tuition before they graduate.
Arts: A first year Arts Student, in a 4-year program, will pay an
additional $1,400 in tuition before they graduate.
No one would argue with tuition increases if they reflected a corresponding increase in educational
"quality" or at least maintenance of present levels. This, however, is the situation we are being "sold":
Increased  Federal Contributions   +   increased tuition  revenues   =   decreased
funding to schools?
This situation must be looked at from an historical perspective. John Macdonald, a past president of this
University, resigned his post in the late 1960's to protest Lester Pearson's cession of control of post-
secondary funding from the Federal to the Provincial Government. It was the possibility of situations
such as the one we are now in that led Mr. Macdonald to oppose that "cession" of control.
Federal officials have promised action: On Thursday, March 29th, Secretary of State, Serge Joyal, gave
an address at UBC. Afterwards, he called for "allies" to step forward. Copies of his speech are available
today in SUB Concourse.
A — show this ad to a friend — or tell someone about
this. When enough people know about this issue you
can be sure that federal politicians will act.
D — come to SUB concourse and sign our letter to
the Federal Cabinet. Be an "ally" of the Federal Government. Also, petition them for "urgent intervention".
Lr — Join our association and receive free some excellent reading on this issue. Come to SUB concourse
or phone 224-1937 evegs. Then, contact Hugh Curtis
or Pat McGeer, yourself.
D  — All three of the above.
The Informed Students Association
Copies of Joyal's speech avail. SUB concourse today. Wednesday, April 4, 1984
Page 21
Trying, hooping, vaulting excel
From page 8
playoffs, lost their final game of the
season, 1-0 to UVic.
The Thunderbirds scored 31
goals in 10 games while giving up
only nine. The solid goalkeeping of
Bun Pavan was the 'Birds' ace. El
Ladha, Frank Iuele and Louis Miljanovic were named to the Canada
West all-star squad while Mijanovic
was also an All-Canadian.
The rugby club enjoyed a successful
series against Californian competition, winning five exhibition games
in all. Other highlights have includ
ed capturing the Moore Mug with a
12-6 decision over the UBC Old
Boys. UBC also prevailed 24-16 in
the annual Boot game against the
Coached by Bill Edwards, the
hoop squad was dismal in league
play, compiling a couple of wins
against four times as many losses.
The 2-8 mark gave the 'Birds
fifth place in the Canada West
league. Overall, UBC was 9-17. Ken
Klassen was a one person scoring
machine as he finished fifth in
league scoring and earned a name
on the second all-star team.
Mark Byrne led the gymnasts by
winning four competitions and
placing third in the Canada West
finals and ninth at the nationals.
The team was second at the Canada
West finals and fifth at the nationals. For the first time ever, all
seven team members qualified for
the national finals.
This zany group came in second
behind the three time defending
champion Calgary Dinosaurs at the
Canadian championships. But more
spectacular, this team, which won
the Arthur Delamont Award for
displaying and unprecedented
amount of team spirit managed to
draw a large crowd to the aquatic
centre during competitions.
Another season has come and
gone. What conclusion can one offer to get more students and faculty
to throw their support behind the
'Birds in 1984-85?
The answer is an injection of
hype similar to the dosage which
lures 90,000 to a college football
game and 20,000 to a college
basketball contest in the U.S.
Front cover design: constructed
and painted by YAKU.
This is the final
Ubyssey of the year
(if you haven't noticed already). No
more. The end. The
Ubyssey staff wishes
to thank the staff of
College Printers for
the effort they made
to put out this 36
page masterpiece,
under often trying
Women easily match men
This year the women's teams
again outstripped their male
counterparts in almost every sport.
The perennial champion, the
field hockey team, pretended they
were mere mortals in September,
The Ubyssey erred in its Feb. 14
edition by printing in its entirety a
poem by Audrey Thomas read at a
benefit for the David Thompson
University Centre, entitled Bill Bennett Stops by Woods on A Snowy
Under Canadian copyright law
minor excerpts of a work can be
quoted for newspaper summary,
but an entire work cannot be used.
The newspaper did not intend to
infringe on the copyright by printing Ms. Thomas' parody of Robert
Frost's poem and apologizes for any
embarassment it may have caused.
Copyright infringement is a
serious crime.
The reporter responsible has been
shot. All other staff have been told
to leave at least one line out next
time since the difference between
fair dealing and infringement can
only be determined by the courts
with respect to the number of lines
which can be used.
BICYCLE REPAIR CREW requires partner(s) or
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but came back to defeat their arch
rivals the University of Toronto in
the Canadian Inter-university
Athletic Union Finals at Frederic-
ton in November.
One week later, the women's soccer team won their first Canada
West tournament. The women's
gynastics team, deprived of five
time national champion Patti
Sakaki who retired at the start of
the season, still won with Anne
Muscat who kept the national individual overall championship at
UBC women also won national
titles at the track and field championships last month when Tammi
Luntz, Tracey Smith and Jeanne
Cockscroft swept the various jumping events. Another outstanding
performance in March came from
the women's swimming team who
had excellent performances from
several competitors as they finished
a close second in the national championships.
The women's volley ball team
finished runners up in the West and
Jack Pomfret's young basketball
team climed ou of last place and
barely missed a play-off berth.
Two teams who don't get CIAU
competition but won their leagues.
The women's ice hockey team
finished top of their lower mainland
division for the second consecutive
year and the women's water polo
team won the B.C. championships
at Victoria in March.
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in our New Westminster office.
Don Wolski
OPENS FRIDAY, APRIL 13th, at a theatre
near you.
Check your local listings for details. Page 22
Wednesday, April 4, 1984
AMS Incorporated
CoMTTiwu i« G    -tHt     SpecieS
The decision to keep Alma Mater Society general
manager Charles Redden on at an annual cost of
$73,000 in student fees represents more than a mere
salary increase for the AMS. It is symptomatic of
radically different philosophical priorities. The AMS is
becoming a politically directionless business, and
nothing else.
While undoubtably, education is facing the most
serious crisis in our living memory, the student
"leaders" make only periodic gestures of concern.
Council is theoretically the power base for our society,
but very little authority eminates from those council
chambers. Most council members are recently elected,
and know very little about how to lobby and gather
support for a motion in the forum, let alone bring
about any real change. Only a handful of students really know how the place works, and hierarchy of
management  runs  it  in   an   undemocratic  fashion.
The problem is the financial structure of AMS
management. Most of the revenue sources of the
society are locked in to self-perpetuating business
operations. To illustrate, this corporation amasses
over $6 million annually, while council had merely
$10,000 in contingency to allocate as it wished this
Liquid revenue has been a favorite these past few
years. Pit prices have risen from 85 cents for a bottle of
beer in 1979 to $1.75 today. You may have noticed
there are several different types of beer on tap now.
Last year's president certainly enjoyed courting new
beer companies, especially the free keg samples.
The Gallery Lounge is part of the decor now. Did
you know that there used to be an art gallery there?
AMS management originally thought that there was
no need for an art gallery because it wasn't revenue-
generating. There was a fight to even keep a gallery in
The Games room downstairs is also a relatively new
addition, becoming literally liquid gold for the society.
It has pulled in net profits that reach into six figures.
Booking policy now emphasizes commercial clients
for SUB space, and Whistler cabin got a new sauna to
make it marketable to "businessmen" in the summer
With naivite, young student hacks say, "But we
need money if we are going to help students." The
truth is all of the profit-generating areas have been fed
the profits for "improvements" recently. The Pit and
Lounge are redecorated, and the Games Room was
rebuilt. The result is not a service, but indirect taxes on
AMS professional management isn't at fault. They
are running a competitive business. But we aren't talking about a profit-oriented corporation — this is supposed to be a non-profit student society. We don't
need a business to tax students in the name of services, we need some political leadership.
History of UBC daycare according to Oloman
The first UBC daycare centres
were established in the late '60s. The
initiative came from parents who
needed good and consistent care for
their children. These parents formed non-profit societies chartered
under the provincial child care act
and licensed by the department of
health. Each centre was and still is
self-governing and autonomous.
Admission of a child to a centre
automatically makes the parents
members of the operating society,
and withdrawal of the child terminates that membership. As
members, the parents are responsible through an elected executive,
for the hiring and supervision of the
staff, for the negotiation of the
union contract, for managing
finances, maintenance and repair
and in most cases, supplementing
the staff in the care of the children
for two to four hours weekly.
The following is a list of the child
care societies currently operating at
UBC, their founding dates, and the
number and ages of the children
they are licensed to serve.
U.B.C. Kindercare Society,
founded 1967, 22 children from
three to five.
Acadia Day Care Society, founded 1969, 25 children from three to
Campus Nursery Unit One,
founded 1970, 12 children from
eighteen months to three.
Campus Nursery Unit Two,
founded 1971, 12 children eighteen
months to three.
Canada Goose Daycare Society,
founded 1972, 12 children eighteen
months to three.
Tillicum Daycare Society, founded 1972, 22 children from three to
Summer of '73 Day Care Society,
founded 1973, 24 children from
three to five in over three unit.
Under Three Unit (later called
Lilliput) has 12 children eighteen
months to three.
Pentacare Day Care Society,
founded 1975, 32 children three to
University Hill After School Care
Society, founded 1976, 60 children
from six to 12.
Each of the centres caring for
children under three must be staffed
by three professional child care
workers at a ratio of one to four.
The three to five year old centres
must have a one to eight staff/child
ratio. Because of these staffing requirements, under three daycare is
considerably more expensive that
over-three day care. If a family has
a two year old at Unit 2
(445/month) and a four year old at
Acadia ($260/month), the total
monthly child care cost is $705.
Some off-campus child care centres increase the over three fees to
supplement the under three costs.
For example at Shannon daycare,
1200 W. 73rd, which is licensed for
10 under threes and 15 over threes,
the under three fee is $395/month
and the over three fee is
$310/month. The cost for the family above is the same at $705 per
The added expense to users of the
UBC centres is the participation
time. Many parents value the two to
four hours a week they spend at
their child's centre. For those
parents with inflexible schedules,
two of the five over three centres do
not require duty time.
Who are the parents who uses the
centres? More than 70 per cent are
students. The remainder are faculty
and staff and about 1 per cent unaffiliated. How can students afford
these costs? Many are subsidized.
The ministry of Human Resources
subsidizes the child care costs of
low income families. They will pay
1983, foreign student wives were
also able to provide this service.
The demand for child care is greater
than the available Canadian Manpower in the area and on this basis
human resources argued with immigration in 1981 that foreign stu-
March 30, 1984
The Ubyssey is published Tuesday and Fridays throughout the
academic year by the Alma Mater Society of the University of British
Columbia. Editorial opinions are those of the staff and are not
necessarily those of the university administration or the AMS.
Member Canadian University Press. The Ubyssey's editorial office is
SUB 241k. Editorial department, 228-2301/2305. Advertising
It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. Robert Beynon Smith, his chin
muzzled into his breast in an effort to escape the vile wind, slipped quickly on a banana peel outside the
door of the Student Union Mansion, then pushed inside to the stairs he knew would not work.
The hallway smelt of cateteria gravy and old handbills. At one end of it a colored poster, too large for
no good reason, had been tacked to the wall. It depicted simply an enormous face, more than a metre
narrow: the face of a man about forty-five with wispy light hair and ruggedly handsome features like
ARnold Hedstrom. It was one of those pictures which are so contrived that the eyes follow you about
when you skulk in corners. BIG BUREAU IS WATCHING YOU, the caption beneath it ran.
Peter Berlin's fruity voice was reading out a laundry list, and something to do with the production of
pigskins, from the Teltdon terminal. Beynon turned a switch and the voice sank somewhat, though the
words were still hurried and indistinguishable.
See page 23
$303/month for a child under three
and $220/month for a child over
three. The real total monthly cost to
the parents of that two year old and
four year old could be $182 not
$705, still a significant expense for
the family with little or no income.
Because of its cost, group child care
is not attractive to many middle and
upper income parents. For less than
$705/month it is possible to have a
nanny who will care for the children
in your home and perhaps have supper ready.
The university daycare centres
are usually full and have waiting
lists. Although they are the largest
group of daycare centres serving a
Canadian university or college, they
do not answer all the needs of the
community. There is no care for infants available, limited care for
kindergarten children and group
care just does not suit all children or
families. There are a number of
authorized family care homes in the
family housing area (Acadia Camp
and Acadia Park). Students' wives
are the caregivers.  Until August
dent wives be allowed to do child
With no prior notice in August
1983, immigration authorities
"raided" the homes of the foreign
students and threatened removal of
student visas if child care for payment continued. The ministry of
human resources and Rori McBlane
of International House are working
on this problem, but there has been
no satisfactory solution as yet.
There are not enough family care
homes on or near the campus at this
time to answer the demand.
The university administration's
contribution to child care includes
rent free quonset huts and two-
thirds of the operating budget of
the daycare coordinator's office.
The ministry of human resources
supplies the remaining third. The
annual budget for the office is
$33,000 and supplies the coordinator, and a secretary, who are
responsible to the vice provost, student affairs and to the university
daycare council, a society made up
of members from each of the group
In general, the office acts as a
central information bureau for prospective parents and the child care
givers, and as a liaison between the
centres and the various ministries
governing child care, between the
centres and the university and between the centres and their many
academic users. A bulk buying service provides food, cleaning supplies and art supplies to the centres
at cost.
There are many concerns about
the future of B.C. child care care.
Our provincial child care regulations provide the possibility of high
quality group care by virtue of the
stringent staffing requirements, but
there are no direct centre grants
which would offset the costs of
these requirements to parents.
Day care in B.C., whether group
care or family care, costs the user
more than in any other province in
Canada. For those of us who care
about the availability of quality care
for our children this question must
be addressed. Those of us at UBC
are constantly discussing the problem. The vehicle for discussion is
the university day care council. Any
complaints, concerns or creative
ideas should be addressed to them
at Hut 88, 2727 Acadia Road.
Eve Brown
university day care council
Mab Oloman
child care coordinator
all around
Last issue, eh! Well here's a few
messages just for the road. Congratulations Ubyssey, on another
year in print (at least you weren't
restrained by restraint). I and other
have noticed some blossoms of
journalistic talent amongst your
Congratulations Geers, you have
a wonderful cairn to paint and
faithfully you have kept the big E in
place. Congratulations UBC
Greeks, your vitality adds some new
life to UBC. Semi-congrats to UBC.
Well you moan and groan, grow
and get stricter, raise your tuition
fees and limit numbers  . . . but
you're still worth it.
Gerry Davidson
agricultural sciences Wednesday, April 4,1984
Page 23
From page 22
Outside, even through the sealed window panes, the world looked cold. There seemed to be no color in anything except the watching posters That were plastered everywhere. Down at matl level another
poster, torn at one corner, flapped fittingly in the wind, alternately covering and uncovering the single
word CUPSOC. In the far distance a helicopter carrying Holly Nathan and Charles Campbell hovered
for a minute like Deb Wilson around a conspiracy trial, and darted away again to the left. It was only
the Thought Patrol, snooping into people's lives. The patrols did not matter, however. Only the Correctness Police mattered.
The voice from the terminal was still babbling away about pigskin and the overfulfilment of the Third
Collective Year. Beynon kept his back up to the terminal; it was safer. He looked out over the campus
and tried to squeeze out some childhood memory that should teli him whether it had always been like
this. Were those always these vistas of rotting nineteen-year-olds like Elaine, Rhonda, Diane and Carol
Lane, their sides shored up with stiffs Tim Langmead, Kurt Preinsperger and Ian Weniger? And the
bombed sights of Noss Trebor, Rory Allen and Marcia Kredentser swirling in the air, and Barbara
Walden, Ron Hawker and Bene Miller straggling over the heaps of rubble; and the places where even
Debbie had been laid lo and there had sprung up sordid colonies of Peter Prongos and Gillian Bronnigs
in wooden dwellings like chicken houses? But it was no use, he could not remember: all that remained
was unintelligible.
Beynon worked for the Useless Bureau of Youth Serving Sibling Youth, or ministry of goodness —
Ubyssey in news-speak. Scattered around Student Union One there were just three other locations of
similar importance. There was the ministry of cheap cheer, which concerned itself with dispensing expensive booze in ugiy, gloomy surroundings; the ministry of love, which maintained political correctness; and the ministry of decent food, which served swill that neither Kelley Lee, Stuart Dee nor Raymond Lee would eat. Their names, in news-speak: Pit, Cupbureau and Subway.
For some reason there was an alcove in The Ubyssey office where no terminal had been placed after
a telex had been removed. Beynon took advantage of the rare privacy to begin a journal, should journalism ever come back in fashion. Journalism was not illegal ( nothing was illegal, since there were no
longer any editors), but if detected it was reasonably certain that it would be punished by death, or at
least by having to do the 'Tweens. To sit and mark the paper was a decisive act, since a tremor had
gone through his bowels without stopping. In small clumsy letters he wrote: April 4th, 1984.
He sat back. A sense of complete helplessness had descended upon him, showing just how depressing the state of the ceiling was. To begin with, he did not know with any certainty that this was 1984,
no more than he could be sure Neil Dowie could tell Brent Edger from Brian Fader. He believed that he
had been born between the Beatles; gig in Hamburg and their first U.S. tour; but it was never possible
nowadays to pin down any concert date within a year or two.
Suddenly he was writing in sheer panic, only imperfectly aware of what he was setting down, let
alone what day it was. His small but childish thoughts straggled back and forth across the political
spectrum, shedding first their capitalism and finally even their constitutional checks and balances:
"April 4th, 1984. Last night to the flicks. All political consciousness-raising films. One very good one
of a ship full of uncorrect reporters being edited near Latin America. Staff much amused by shots of
Stephen Wisenthal trying to get away with a copy editor after him. First you saw bashing at the
typewriter like he had purpose, then you saw him through the copy editor's gunsights, then his story
was full of holes and it sank into overset, the staff laughing as tt was scratched. Then you was a
lifeboat with Bill Seymour, Joel Pecchioli and Rob Parmar with a copy editor hanging over it. There
was Julie Stanton trying to hold Andrea Bakke as if she thought she could prevent bullets from appearing in her copy. Then the copy editor Steamer Planted a 20 kilo re-write in among them terrfic hot flash
and the copy went all to vista. Then there was a wonderful shot of a Virginia von Hahn going up up up
right up into the air a copy editor with a photog up its nose must have followed and there was a lot of
applause but Donna Sanford down in the pol part of the house suddenly started kicking up a fuss and
shouting they didn't outer of showed it not in front of Dianne Schoenberg and Erik Smith they didn't
outer it aint right until Dale Jack turned her turned her out i don't suppose anything happened to her
nobody cares what the pols say typical pol reaction they never — "
Beynon stopped writing, partly because he was suffering from cramps again, but the curious thing
was that a totally different idea had caused him to begin his journal. It had happened that morning at
The Ubyssey, if anything so nebulous could be said to happen. They had been setting up for the Two
Minutes Moral Contempt when two people he knew by sight, but had never understood, came unexpectedly into the room. One was a woman with long hair from the semi-fiction department, the g'Ross
Pink sash of the Junior Pro-Sex League wound around her waist, who Beynon suspected was a
member of the Correctness Police. The other person was a man O'Brian Jones, who wore the shorts
and propellor beanie of the Inner Paper and had once held a post so important and obscure that
Beynon had only a dim idea of its nature. He took a chair in the same row as Beynon, a couple of
places away. Angie Gerst was between them and the woman with long hair was directly behind.
The next moment a hideous, grinding screech, as of some unoiled machine trying to say Wayne
Nikituk or Richard Ozimek, burst from the big terminal at the end of the room. The Moral Contempt
had started. As usual, the face of Glen Sanford had flashed onto the screen. Sanford was the renegade
and backslider who once, long ago (how long ago, nobody quite remembered), had been one of the
leading figures of the Paper, perhaps higher than Big Bureau himself, and then had engaged in venal
careerist activities, had been condemned to city desk, and had mysteriously escaped and disappeared.
He was repeating his usual vile message of sprouting love, advocating the immediate conclusion of
peace with Eastcanada, abusing Big Bureau, denouncing the dictatorship of the Paper, advocating
freedom of style, freedom of layout, freedom of deadlines.
Behind his head marched the endless columns of the Eastcanadian army, and around Beynon rose
the frenzy of the Moral Contempt as Sanford spoke of the secret society called The Sibtinghood and
the compendium of heresies known only as the songbook. The long-haired woman shrieked her moral
repugnance and flung a news-speak style guide at the screen. The Moral Contempt rose to its climax.
The voice of Sanford had become a sheep's bleat and for an instant his face changed into that of Big
Bureau, full of mysterious calm, before it faded away and instead the three slogans of the Paper stood
out in futura extra bold:
It was then that Beynon had looked into O'Brien's eyes and seen, though he could not be sure, a
look that said: "I am with you. I too would sell myself for any John Price and secretly believe in Thor
Anderson." And Beynon remembered a voice he had heard in a dream, or perhaps in delerium
tremens, saying: "We will meet in the place where there is no parking." He roused himself and his eyes
refocused on the page, where he had been printing in large messy upstyles DOWN WITH THE BIG
BUREAU. He had committed the essential crime. Correctnesscrime, they called it in news-speak, and
it was not a thing that could be concealed forever. You might dodge successfully for a white, even for
years, but sooner or later they were bound to get to you. It was always at night — they always sent you
to the printers at night. Seized by a kind of hysteria, Beynon began writing in a hurried untidy scrawl,
"theyll edit me i dont care theytl cut my features i dont care down with big bureau they always cut your
features i dont care down with big bureau —" There was a knocking at this door.
Only when his hand was on the doorknob did Beynon notice he had left his journal open, bad punctuation clearly legible, the most inconceivably stuped thing he had done for seven or eight minutes.
Fortunately it was comrade Kelly Jo Burke, a crushing-looking woman. (Though titles were frowned
on by the Paper, with Kelly one used the word comrade instinctively.) "I thought I heard you come in.
Do you think you could look at the copy flow? It's got blocked up and — " Beynon followed her. "Of
course, it's only because Craig Brookes isn't here. If he was he'd put it right in a moment. He loves
anything like that. He's ever so good with his whip, Craig is," said Kelly. Craig was a fattish but active
man of paralyzing stupidity, a mass of imbecile enthusiasms—one of those completeiy unquestioning,
devoted drudges on whom, more even than on the Correctness Police, the stability of the Paper
depended. He had only recently been forced off the staff a year late, and before graduating he had
managed to stay on in the student executive for a year beyond his usefulness had ended. He would
never be vaporised.
"Have you got a wheel?" said Beynon, fiddling with a layout on the angle-board. "I don't know, said
Kelly. "Perhaps the children — " Chris Wong had popped up from behind the desk and was menacing
him with a phlegm ruler. "Up with your style," he yelled savagely. "You're a traitor. You're a correct-
nesscriminal. You're a Eastcanadian spy. I'll edit you, I'll send you to do Tweens." Suddenly he was
joined in his shouting Muriel Draaisma. Kelly sighed. "They're disappointed because they couldn't go
see Cary Rodin's statue of Big Bureau unveiled by Sue Mcllroy." They were both leaping around.
"Why can't we get out of the printer?" roared Chris. "Want to get out of the printersl Want to get out
of the printers!" chanted Muriel, still capering around.
Beynon returned to his work of falsifying mastheads to eliminate the names of staffers who had
become uncorrect. The most difficult one he had to change that day involved praise, coming from Big
Bureau himself, for an Allesandra Callegarini who had disappeared without leaving a Mike Tracey.
Beynon thought of simply changing the reference to one praising Corinna Sunararajan, but at would
entail constant re-checking of spelling so he decided on Alar Olijum, putting him down i,A having
recently deceased in a staff orgy. At the age of three, comrade Olijum had refused all toys except a set
of fatigues, a megaphone and a picket sign, and at eleven he had denounced Wayne Chong to the Correctness Police. It struck Beynon as curious that you could create heroic staffers, but not real ones.
Comrade Olijum, who had never quite been all there, now existed as authentically, and on the s: me
evidence, as N.J.D.
Beynon went off to Subway after finishing up, and as he was going down the hall the long-hairec
woman from the semi-fiction department made a pass at him, but slipped a piece of paper into his hanc
right in front of a terminal. In a moment of rare privacy he unfolded it, fearing it would be a denunciation from the Correctness Police. Instead there were the words: I'm mellow. Trembling at the sight of
such uncorrect heresy, he quickly put the scrap on a desk, or memory hole, where it would quickly
disappear as if it never existed. Still fearful, he wanted to eat alone, but could not refuse when Charlie
Fidelman and Neil Lucente sat down with him.
Charlie, a mild, ineffectual, dreamy creture with very unusual hair and a surprising ta'ent for juggling
syntax and meaning, was engaged in producing garbled reviews — definitive statements, they were
called — on cultural events which were ideologically offensive but nevertheless provided comps. Neil
was one of the enormous team of experts working on destroying the umpteenth edition of ihe >.ews
speak style guide. He was a tiny creature, smaller than Beynon, with dark hair and large, protuberan",
eyes, at once mournful and derisive, which seemed to search the area closely for stimulants while he
was speaking to you. "We're getting the style guide into its final shape — the shape it's going to have
when Socred cutbacks make sure no one can read," said Neil. "It's a beautiful thing, the destruction of
words. What's the use of stories when a picture looks just as good? Why worry whether a layout is cor
rect or uncorrect when you can just run a photo essay? It was Big Bureau's idea originally, of course."
One of these days, thought Beynon with sudden deep conviction, Neil will be collectivized. He is too
intelligent. He sees too clearly and speaks too plainly. The Paper does not like such people.
Beynon went home, the word 'mellow' still in his mind, and began writing in his diary. "It was a few
pressdays ago. She had a young face and did not belong to the Paper, like a Sylvia Berryman or Betsy
Goldberg. She said she was mellow and could talk about authors like Eric Blair and George Orwell. I — "
For the moment it was too difficult to go on. He had an overwhelming temptation to shout a string of
literary allusions at the top of his voice. Your worst enemy, he reflected, was you your own humanity.
At any moment the intelligence inside you was liable to translate itself into some visible symptom.
It hurt him to be reminded of Sarah MBlin, the bride he had not seen for it must be nine, ten — nearly
eleven prassdays. Sarah had wholly swallowed the Paper's dogma of goodfuck and had shunned the
feeling* that accompany what was in news-speak called lovecrima. Beynon sighed inaudibfy and picked up hit pan to write hurriedly in scrabbled handwriting. Ha had to confaas hit humiliation in seeking
out Lisa Hebert. "Whan I saw her in tha tight, aha waa an AMS hack.-But I want ahead and talked
about 20th century British authors just tha same." Tha urge to shout classical poetry at tha top of his
voice was a strong as ever. At last ha was able to print, shakily: "If there is hope, it lias in tha pols."
See pege 24
Daycare defended, frankly
A couple of people I happen to
know have recently come under
question in the pages of The
Ubyssey. The first of these is
Charles Redden, the Alma Mater
Society general manager, but he
gets paid to put up with that sort of
hassle. However, the second person
is Mab Oloman, the university's
child care coordinator, and she
doesn't get paid to be personally attacked.
I'm not a UBC child care expert
and never will be, but even I know
that Mab is not an AMS employee,
that over 70 per cent of the
children's parents are UBC
students, and that Mab is hardly a
"tea   party   throwing   ceremonial
dignitary"   as   claimed   in   Fatty
O'Brien's letter last week.
On the contrary, I feel that she is
a very caring and dedicated person
in her extremely political and difficult job. You see, each of the
ten UBC daycares is its own
separate society with its own rules
and regulations. She has no
authority to direct the policies of
these daycare societies, yet she has
the unenviable job of trying to
coordinate their activities. Not only
that, because she is the "official
university representative" she gets a
lot of flak from approximately 400
parents who, as you can imagine,
all know what is best for their
Mab is currently working
towards ensuring that new child
care facilties are constructed on this
campus. This is the area in which I
have dealt with Mab, since currently the AMS's only link with child
care is a commitment to aid in the
building of new facilities.
For what it's worth, I'd like to
give Mab my vote of confidence,
since from where I sit I see a job
well done. Unfortunately, this view
is not shared by some people who
are not familiar with the facts, nor
Dave Frank
Board of governors
Faculty should reject agreement
It should be no surprise that the
executive of the faculty association
and UBC's administration have
spent the last five months cooking
up their so-called exigency plan for
laying off faculty members.
Agreements like this one take a lot
of work before they can be made to
appear with the proper veneer. But
this one isn't even polished. We
believe that faculty members should
reject it.
The exigency plan operates so as
to find second-class faculty
members through highly questionable criteria and processes
which are open to all kinds of
abuses. It provides that tenured
faculty can be required to re-evalute
colleagues selected by the deans to
determine whether they deserve to
keep their tenure.
I applaude Alma Mater Society
vice president Doug Low's frank
disclosures concerning the salary increase of AMS general manager
Charles Redden (AMS Manager to
get $73,000, Mar. 27).
I fail to see why such an increase
funded by students should "properly" be disclosed only in percentage
terms. A percentage means nothing
by itself. A $7,000 increase to an individual whose salary is already
$66,000, does.
That Mr. Redden, being a highly
qualified businessman, is entitled to
a fair market value for his services,
is not in dispute. One does wonder,
however, how many equally
qualified individuals there are out
there in the big bad world who
would love to do the same job for
perhaps half of Mr. Redden's
salary. A look at the salaries of
those occupying similar positions at
other Canadian universities seems
to indicate that such people do exist.
As Doug Low suggested, there is
a solution that is more consistent
with the concerns of the students
making up the bulk of the member-
shin of the AMS. That is the
establishment of a bursary fund for
students whose attendance at UBC
might otherwise be a financial impossibility (i.e. 14 bursaries at $500
Even if this alternative doesn't
appeal to the altruistic nerve of the
AMS executive (assuming there is
one), it may well be a politically
wise move as it will go a long way
towards despelling the hypocrisy
that is evident when observing the
antics of the ostensible champions
of accessible education, our elected
den Harder
law 2
In other words, it tries to get
faculty members to point their
fingers at each other as inferior.
The second-class ones (the untouchables) are barred from sitting
on re-evaluation committees, and
can't even vote for their memberships.
Even then, the president and
deans are free to decide that any
faculty member no longer merits
tenure. All of this means that the
exigency agreement realizes an
original goal of the provincial
government — the destruction of
tenure. And you can bet that
members of the faculty association's
executive will not be among those to
be laid off.
back against a government (and its
various arms at UBC) whose goal it
is to turn the clock back several
decades in the education sector and
in society in general. It does so by
trying to tie the faculty's hands to a
dirty agreement. We share the con-
In effect, the exigency agreement
seeks to eliminate any chance of
faculty members uniting to fight
cerns 6i those faculty members who
have already called for a "no" vote
to this anti-democratic and weak-
kneed "plan".
Bill Coller,
law 1
for students against the budget
Ode to Carrot Muffins
UBC's carrot muffin recipe was'
developed in 1978 by food services
manager Olga Rumen at the Bus
Our bakeshop produces three
varieties of muffins daily but carrot
muffins are by far the favourite.
So that you may continue to enjoy this popular recipe over the
summer and in the years to come we
have adjusted the quantities and
tested the recipe for your home use.
Happy baking.
4 eggs
1'/:. c sugar
1 Vi c oil
3 Vi c whole wheat flour
2'/i tsp. baking powder
Wi tsp. soda
V* tsp. salt
2 tsp. cinnamon
V* tsp. nutmeg
1 c crushed pineapple
2Vi c shredded carrots
1 c chopped dates
Gradually beat sugar into eggs
until light. Fold in oil. Combine
Let Unity
Be a Rule
Let the penny be a symbol of unity.
It has two sides which are opposite and no one can see both sides
at the same time.
Yet it is a circle which has no
sides and which is seen from every
It is the quantum of human
We see it every day.
Let us use it to remind us of the
unity which already exists among all
people, among all life.
We have simply forgotten.
All life is one. Let human energy
serve life.
name withheld
flour, salt, soda, baking powder
and spices.
Combine egg mixture with flour
mixture, carrots, pineapple and
dates. Do not over mix.
Fill muffin tins two-thirds full
and bake at 350°F. 20-25 minutes.
Yield: One and one-half dozen
UBC size or two-dozen regular
Once again, premier Bennett is
blackmailing British Columbians.
In his Mar. 29 broadcast, Bennett
trotted out tired rhetoric and blamed trade unions for B.C.'s
economic difficulties. All of a sudden, B.C. can only "recover" if
union rights are curtailed. Bennett
did not inform us why this might
be; perhaps his insight is derived
from the same mystical process
whereby a government "deficit"
can exist alonside a $937 million,
Anyway, Bennett warned us that
tragic consequences await us unless
non-union firms are allowed their
"freedom". And to show us he
means business, he's withholding
all Expo 86 contracts until "labor
strife" is cleared up. In short, if
unionized workers don't agree to
Bennett's schemes, they'll be personally responsible for denying Expo and jobs to Vancouver.
The man is quite slick, but he's
also schizophrenic. When his
government abolishes all the institutions which minimize class conflict
— like the employment standards
quarantees, Human Rights Commission and Rentalsman — what
else can he expect but strife?
In his frantic rush to please the
big money boys who are pulling his
strings, our premier is looking increasingly silly.
Kevin Annett
taw 1 Page 24
Wednesday, April 4, 1984
From page 23
Those words, along with the sentence "Freedom is the right to say that 16
lines of writing equals four inches of print," were in his head as he wandered
through the areas that were not under direct control of the Paper. All around
him were the pois, short for politically uncorrect, who were the vast majority of
the population of Student Union One. He listened for signs of unrest, but what
had sounded tike real feeling turned out to be only more bitching about monor
details. "I tell you, there's never been a Ubyssey with an odd number of pages.
I been keeping track," said Yaku. "Then why did they tell me my story was going to be on page 17?" demanded Monte Stewart. "Oh, pack it in," muttered
Lorna Olson.
Then Beynon saw an old man, old enough to have remembered what it was
like in the days of editors, staggering into the gallery lounge. Beynon followed
him to where he was having some kind of altercation with the barman, a large,
stout Victor Wong with enormous forearms. "I arst you civil enough, didn't I?"
said Verne McDonald. "You telling me you ain't got drugs in the 'ole bleeding
boozer?" Victor leaned on the bar. "Never heard of them. Bad beer and rotten
booze, that's all we serve." Beynon offered the old man a drink, which was accepted with amazing speed, and they sat down. "You must have seen some
changes," Beynon said tentatively. Verne looked around as if lizards were
about to crawl into his eyes. "Beer was cheaper," he finally said. "Fifty cents a
bottle. That was before the collective. And lots of drugs, all kinds." Beynon
leaned closer. "Which collective?" he asked. But Verne had started clawing at
his arms and it took several more drinks to bring him around.
"What about editors," Beynon persisted. "They had life and death powers
over the staff, is that true? They could put your stories through a Deborah Mills
or let it sink in an Ian Timberlake. They could call you lackeys and throw
telephone books at you." The old man brightened. "Telephone books, eh? I
remember when an editor, Tom Hawthorn, called me a lackey and threw a
phone book that hit Heather Conn." The rest was gibberish and Beynon gave
up in disgust; the old man's mind was a rubbish heap of old bits of cheese and
Studebaker left fenders. He left the lounge and wandered through the pol section until he came to the same Trutch House where the old proprietor. Bill
Tieleman, had sold him the copy paper he had used to begin his journal.
Mr. Bill talked him into buying a Mary Jewell with something pink and friendly inside, then showed him a room where there was an old-fashioned bookself
with some ancient bound volumes on it. "Don't see headlines like this
anymore. Look. Go suck a lemon, say the librarians. Not bad, eh?" Beynon implored the grizzled hack to tell him more. "Well, the second deck ran. You're
three credits short, say the . . . hmm, I can't remember the rest. But it contained alt the truths, at ieast all the important truths, of Student Union One. But
anyway, why don't you find some feeling individual of intelligence and rent this
room so you can come here and discuss philosophy? I won't tell the Correctness Police, nudge, nudge, wink, wink." Beynon shivered. He had found out
the long-haired woman's name was Patti Flather and had decided to commit
lovecrime. Mr. Bill chuckled. "I do remember how that headline ended: Here
comes a cutback to decrease your knowledge. A fee hike will keep the poor out
of college." Beynon went home to sleep and to prepare for the next day's work
at the ministry of goodness.
What troubled Beynon as he set out to work, besides the possibility of cor-
rectnesscrime with Patti, was that he knew the Paper did not contain the full
truth. He knew, for instance, that the Paper had not always been at war with
Eastcanada, but with Peter Coupland at some point, though he himself had
worked long hours over mastheads proving no one knew where Coupland was.
He had also held in his hands certain proof the Paper had lied. Once, when correcting a masthead, he had run across a scrap of paper pasted to the wall which
said that Eric Eggertson, Nancy Campbell and Shaffin Shariff were together at
a CUPSOC conference soon after the Revolution which had done away with
editors. Though it was back in the murky days of the ascendance of Big
Bureau, Beynon remembered the masthead had been written on the same date
that later editions claimed was the day those original Inner paper members had
confessed to conspiring to become editors. He had quickly placed the crucial
evidence on a memory hole, but he had never forgotten what he'd seen.
When he contacted Patti eventually, he was overjoyed to find that she
disagreed with the Mark Weislers who did their best to conform with the Mark
Neitsons, and who, in the news-speak phrase, could Sayweil, or goodspeak, to
Trish. Beynon and Patti met in the room in Trutch House, talking about Marcel
Proust except when Bruce Campbell and Ken Anderlini would start discussing
politics downstairs. After Patti had nonchalantly pounded her foot on the floor,
she would find Beynon curled in a fetal position, terrorized "They're only
radicals. What's wrong with rads?" she'd say. "Please, please, don't talk about
rads," whimpered Beynon.
At last Beynon and Patti talked to O'Brian, who told them about the Sibl-
inghood and gave them a copy of the songbook. O'Brian even knew how the
rest of the headline ran: "Go suck a lemon, say the librarians/You're three
credits short, say the profs of Buchanan/Give us more money, says the student
executive/Come back when you're rich, says the governing board/Here comes
a fee hike to take all your bread/Here comes a cutback to chop off your head."
They took the songbook back to their room, where they stood at the window
watching Sarah Cox in the alleyway below, hanging up endliess rows of battle
fatigues on a party line and singing: "It was only a hopeless fancy/ It passed like
an April day/ A word and a look was al) it took/To make me go away/They say
that time heals all things/They say you can always forget/But position papers
and political lepers/They twist my meanings yet." That's the trouble with the
Paper, thought Beynon, there aren't any decent songs. "We are the dead," he
said. "We are the dead," echoed Patti dutifully.
"You are the dead," said Peter Berlin's voice from the hidden terminal
behind them. They sprang apart as position papers with their names on them
rolled downward. "Now they can vote us in," said Patti. "Now we can vote
you in," said the terminal. "I suppose we may as well go insane," said Patti.
"You may as well go insane," said the voice, adding, "And by the way, while
we're on the subject, here comes a fee hike to take all your bread, here comes a
cutback to chop off your head." Chris Mousseau and Rob Handfield crashed
into the room to lead them away, and as they passed Mr. Bill at the door it occured to Beynon that for the first time in his life he was looking, with
knowledge, at a member of the Correctness Police.
Beynon did not know how long he had been sitting in the cell in the ministry
of love, with Frances Lew, Paul Mlodzik, Scott Sleep and Jim Slaughter ranged
around him on the benches whenever guard Jack Tieleman was not telling
jokes that had them all on the floor screaming in pain. Prisoners came and went
Charlie made a vague appearance, saying, "I must have written something that
looked like a position paper. There is only one mistake, isn't there?" Soon after
the guards threw a tall, thin man like a skin-covered skeleton into the cell. Later
Gordon Clark opened the door, a rubber truncheon in his hand, and called out,
"Doug Schmidt. Room 241." Schmidt started shrieking. "Not 241! I'll do
anything, betray anyone. It was Robby Robertson's fault, no, maybe Muriel's.
Take her, not me. Not 241!" He was dragged out, weeping.
The door opened again and Beynon heard his own name called. He looked
up. "Warren O'Brien!" he cried. "They've got you too." With mild irony,
O'Brian twirled the propellor on his beanie and said, "You know it's really me.
They got me a long time ago. You knew this, Beynon. Don't deceive yourself.
You did know it — you have always known it." Gordon stepped forward and
Beynon resigned himself to the bad joke he knew was coming. What would it
be, a pun, a limerick? A one-liner! Beynon lay shrieking on the floor, Gordon
above him chuckling. "Hertscheg, eh Harry?" In the face of puns like that,
there are no heroes, no heroes, thought Beynon as he writhed clutching his
disabled sense of humor.
He came to looking up into O'Brian's kindly face. "I told you once we would
meet in the place where there is no parking. If I am to help you rid yourself of
your delusions about Big Bureau and the Paper, you must tell me truthfully
what it is you want. "Beynon answered, "Justice, why not?" O'Brian shook his
head. "Justin Wyatt? 1 would think there's your least worry," he said. "Lisa
Morry?" Beynon murmured as he lost consciousness. But even as he faded, he
knew he could hold out against the puns and never betray Patti.
"You're holding back on me, Beynon. I'm afraid you will have to go to room
241," O'Brian said one pressday. "What's in room 241?" Beynon said. "You
know the answer already. Everyone knows it. The thing that is in room 241 is
the worst thing in the world." O'Brian held up a piece of Beynon's copy. "How
many inches is it? Answer truthfully." Beynon looked at the 16 typewritten
lines. "Four," he said. "And if the Paper says it will be three?" Beynon trembled. "It should be kept. It has to be four." O'Brian released Beynon with a little
push toward the guards. "Room 241," he said.
In room 241 there was a cage holding Keith Baldrey and George Hermanson.
Beynon shivered and cringed at the sight of the radicals. O'Brian pointed to a
lever on the cage door. "When I pull this lever, the rads will begin to tell you
about dialictical materialism. They usually start with a dissertation on worker
alienation from the means of production, then go on to discuss class
struggle ..." Beynon's voice was weak as he interrupted. "Gee, if it's just a
matter of saying that 16 lines of copy can become three inches of
print . . . "O'Brian waved his hand. "That's not enough many more." He
reached for the lever and Beynon was suddenly shouting, "Do it to Pattil Do it
to Patti! Not mel I don't care if you pervert all her ideals! Do it to Patti! Not me
!" Then he was falling backwards, into enormous depths, away from the rads.
Beynon sat in the gallery lounge, sipping Victory Beer and listening to a terminal tell of how the Paper had won yet another glorious victory over the AMS.
The Paper is,truly great, he thought. He had won the victory over himself. He
loved Big Bureau.
puce blorgs on this tiny island community launched a massive protest
Monday against the island
newspaper, The Daily Blah, for
stopping publication for the summer.
Blorgs all went home after learning their favorite rag may be resurrected as a summer tabloid.
Corky says:
See ya' next year.
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APRIL 11 & 12, 1984
9:00 A.M. to 5 P.M.
ROOM 212
Your representative, Mr. Perry McLean cordially invites you
to view Western Scientific's line of laboratory equipment and
supplies throughout this two day period.
. Thrush 2" Turbo $13.95
' Thrush import muffler (chrome tip) $48.95
| Monza Rabbit/Jetta/Scirocco $120.00
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A-Collegiate Auto
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— Best selection/Price/Quality
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— All private 6- I.C.B.C. claims —
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• ICBC claims handled promptly
• Free local towing With Repairs 251-1255
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• All workmanship guaranteed
970 S.W. Marine Dr., Vancouver Wednesday, April 4, 1984
Page 25
Year in review
Year of striking differences
Socreds cut universities and raised fees while most students remain quiet.
The day UBC's board of governors raised
tuition fees by 33 per cent, one student vying
for a student council position told an all-
candidates meeting he would produce a
quality yearbook and directory if elected.
Through a window behind him, students
watched a growing group carrying placards
march up East mall in protest of the fee increase. Only two candidates at the forum
even addressed the issue.
While the students discussed other money
making projects, UBC faced the greatest fiscal
crisis of its 60 year history: a $18 million
budget deficit.
But the meeting was typical of students'
priorities this year. They generally showed lit-
HETMAN . . . wishy-washy
tie interest when the provincial government
cut funding and programs. And as they remained conspicuously silent, universities and
colleges desperately sought for ways to cope
with the cuts.
Socreds change system
The Social Credit government began
restructuring B.C.'s post-secondary education system last June, shortly after its reelection in May. First, it changed the student
aid   criteria,   making   students   take   more
courses to obtain financial assistance and
abandon parental help.
When questioned about the new aid
criteria — now the toughest in Canada —
education ministry information officer Dick
Melville, said: "Single parents will have to
make some adjustments."
The attitude that British Columbians
would have to adapt figured largely in Socred
thinking as the government proceeded to
alter the education system even more
dramatically by its July budget. The budget
decreased student aid by 40 per cent or $8
million over last year. It failed to pass on an
eight per cent increase in federal funding for
universities and colleges, and operating
grants were frozen at last year's levels.
University faculty expressed concern the
new Public Sector Restraint Act jeopardized
tenure. "The ramifications are very odious,"
said NDP MLA Lome Nicholson. "B.C. will
be blackballed."
Despite these drastic changes, universities
minister Pat McGeer failed to find time to
speak to student council representatives
about educational issues. He promised he
would contact them when he had time, but he
never found it.
From July until October, the government
consistently denied that it had broken a
federal-provincial agreement on student aid
which said provincial increases were not to
follow a federal increase in loans. "What we
provide is a very generous student assistance
program," said McGeer at the Socred convention in Hotel Vancouver in October.
And when 50,000 people, including a
handful of UBC students, marched past the
convention in protest of the government's
policies the Socreds sneered. They once again
displayed their failure to recognize opposition.
The government only appeared willing to
modify its policies when the Solidarity coalition and Operation Solidarity said they
would organize a general strike in response to
the July 7 budget and accompanying legislation.
But in a bid to temper any job action,
premier Bill Bennett gave a televised address
urging B.C. government employees to return
to the bargaining table. Operation
Solidarity leader Art Kube said union
members were willing to walk the line Oct. 31
to pressure government to keep its employees
seniority intact. Although the date quickly
passed, the government did not respond. A
round of escalating strikes began which
brought B.C. dangerously close to a full scale
general strike.
STUDENTS . . . buried education while board raised fees
OTEU . . . sought student support
After two weeks of job action, union
boss Jack Munro settled the dispute with
Bennett in his Kelowna home. The agreement
basically only secured the B.C. government
employees' demands, neglecting other
human rights and education. Many members
of the Solidarity coalition said they felt
betrayed. Canadian Federation of Students-
Pacific executive officer Donna Morgan was
among them. "I fee todaya lot of energy has
been defused. I sense there is not enough
energy for a comeback," she said.
After the almost general strike, students
awaited the outcome of the government's
tinkering with education. In mid January, acting against the advice of an education
ministry report completed the summer
before, the government announced it would
close David Thompson University Centre in
Nelson, the only degree granting institution
outside the lower mainland.
Government officials again justified the
move by the mythical "Restraint."
"Economically it was not feasible to continue," said Melville, ever handy with an excuse.
For Nelson's depressed local economy the
centre was an economic necessity. Although
the government would only save $2.7 million
by the move, it surged ahead with its plans.
The closure was a sign that the Socreds
were becoming even more cynical. In the
Feb. 20 budget, they abolished student grants
for those needing assistance and finalized
plans to cut university funding by five per
cent .CFS Pacific chair Stephen Leary said
the abolishing of student grants was the
greatest attack on post secondary education
in B.C. The funding decrease, expected to be
six per cent, was not any sort of victory," he
The government later introduced a student
capital venture program to provide jobs for a
minimum of 2,003 B.C. students. Under the
program, students are loaned money to
create their own summer businesses. Tami
Roberts, incoming chair of CFS-Pacific, said
the program is loony. "Who's going to take
a loan when they're a student and only have
four months to work?"
Because of growing conflict between the
government and B.C.'s universities, federal
secretary of state Serge Joyal visited Vancouver in late March to meet with faculty and
students. "The government of B.C. as well as
others is making serious errors with its post-
secondary education policies," he said.
Joyal said provinces had a duty to pass on
federal transfer payments to education and
money intended for student aid — which
found its way only into Socred pockets.
But Bennett's government did not respond
to his comments. The Socreds were succeeding they had pushed their policies
through the legislature. After their second
budget there was little opposition. Few marched. Few rallied. By the end of the 1983-84
academic year, the government had changed
B.C.'s education system for good.
In response to the government's drastic
measures, UBC's new administration president George Pedersen originally offered his
"open administrative style." But by year's
end his attempts at conciliation proved futile.
UBC: "Cuts that don't heal"
Pedersen came to UBC from Simon Fraser
University last April with high hopes of attracting private sector funding for UBC. He
said he wanted to emulate American universities' style of attracting large sums of money
for education.
His house was renovated at a cost of
$500,000 in a bid to gain the capital. He and
his wife were supposed to host public functions — but the functions have yet to be held.
When he assumed office in July, he appeared to be ready for a fight with the
government. But as fall drew closer UBC faced a small deficit of $3.2 million. Pedersen
even suggested that the provincial govern-
McGEER . . . unreceptive
ment allow UBC to run a budget deficit as a
last resort. Universities minister McGeer said
the government would take the university to
court if it ran a deficit because it breached the
University's Act. The new president could
have been thrown in jail.
Ignoring the government's resistance to
supply more funding, Pedersen spoke to the
local media and public groups hoping to influence the government through public
"A government which continues to spend
millions of dollars on roads to high income
condos in ski resorts while cutting expenditures on salmon enhancement or reforestation is exercising a discretionary choice, not
responding to limits on ability to pay,"
Pedersen said, quoting a B.C. economist.
The public was receptive to his concerns
but failed to pressure the government into
making education a priority.
As November creeped in with its threat of
a general strike, the administration faced a
dilemma: would it penalize students who
missed exams and handed term papers in late
See page 27: STUDENTS Page 26
Wednesday, April 4, 1984
And now, the end is near, I'm about to reach,
the final VISTA. While this, has been fun at
times, I'm just about, to puke all over. It's
time, for someone new, 'cause I'm, becoming
snarly. Oh yes, I think she'll be, someone
named Charlie. (Not sung to Say, Say Say)
Vancouver Society for Early Music: Montreal Singers, Three Ladies of Ferrar, virtuoso
vocal music, April 7, 8 p.m.. Recital Hall.
VCC BIG BAND: under direction of local
saxophonist   Dave  Branter,   April   12,   Hot
Jazi, 2120 Main, 873-4131.
Chief Feature: with Hugh Fraser on bone
back from Banff, April 8, Classical Joint, 231
Carrall. 689-0667.
Bill Runge: his hot jazz quintet, April 15,
Classical Joint.
Corsage/Enigmas/Naked Edge: come see
Phil Smith molest a Heineken bottle and sing
some hot rock and roll that would make Jim
Morrison blush, April 6, Commodore.
Rough Trade: featuring Carol Pope — soon
to be Pepsi commercial star, April 16, Commodore.
Dave Swarbrick/Simon Nicol: former
members of Fairport Convention — two great
folk violinists, April 8, La Quena, 1111 Commercial, 251-6626.
Vancouver New Music Society: a varied
program of works by a national roster of
associate composers of the Canadian Music
Centre, April 8, 8 p.m., Vancouver East
Cultural Centre, 1895 Venables, 254-9578.
Taj  Mahal:  the Maharashi's hipster saint,
April 11-12, Soft Rock Cafe.
The   Romantics/Wang   Chung:   Detroit
power pop combined with a strangely named
group, April 23, War Memorial Gym.
Obo Addy/Kukrudu:   more great African
sounds coming to Vancouver, April 15, New
York Theatre, 639 Commercial, 254-8789.
fchtftioH Eta.
Phone   now   for   your   complimentary sitting, choose from
18 previews (proofs)
Resume photos as low as 75c in
Ridge Theatre (16th and Arbutus, 738-6311)
Confidentially Yours, a film by Francios
Truffaut, 7:15 and 9:30 p.m.
Vancouver East Cinema (7th and Commercial, 253-5466) April 64: Flashdance. 7:30
p.m.; Starstruck, 9:15 p.m. April 9-10:
Testament, 7:30 p.m.; Daniel, 9:15 p.m.
April 11-12: The Stuntman, 7 p.m.; The Ruling Class, 9:20 p.m. April 13-15: The Big
Chill. 7:30 p.m.; Educating Rita. 9:30 p.m.
Savoy Cinema (2321 Main, 872-2124) April
6-8/April 13-15: Three Stooges Film
Festival. April 9-10: D.O.A., 7:30 p.m.; The
Punk Rock Movie, 9:15 p.m. April 11-12:
Love and Death, 7:30 p.m.; Play It Again
Sam, 9:15 p.m.
Amadeus: a thriller set in the backdrop of the
late 18th century Viennese court, until April
21, Q.E. Playhouse, 873-3311.
Dial M For Murder: an ingenious tale of
suspense and intrigue, until April 21, Arts
Club Granville Island. 687-1644.
The Chairs: Eugene lonesco's absurd farce,
Arts Club Seymour, until April 7, 687-1644.
Checkin' Out: a new Canadian comedy by
Kelly Rebar, until April 21, Firehall Theatre,
280 E. Cordova, 689-0926.
The Patrick Pearse Motel: a hilarious comedy   by   Hugh   Leonard,   April  6-7,   10-14,
James Cowan Theatre, 6450 Gilpin, Burnaby, 321-6500.
The Hotel Baltimore: presented by First Impressions Theatre, April 19-May 12, Presentation House, 333 Chesterfield, 986-1351.
4 FREE! *
Let's Go
Buy your Eurailpass or Eurail
Youthpass at your local
TRAVEL CUTS office and receive
a free copy of Lets Go:
Europe, the budget guide to
Europe! Only at Canada's
student travel agency: TRAVEL
CUTS! Call for prices and
details of this special offer
Going   ** TRAVEL
YourMfcy!!*   CUTS
The travel company of CFS
UBC. Student Union Building
r/ 604 224-2344
6 Sparkling diamonds surrounding your
choice of a genuine sapphire or ruby.
* Swedish engagement ring, Vict solitaire with ten
full cut diamonds underneath. Vict T.W. 14kt gold.
Valued at $2,000.
* 10ct Engagement Ring
Matching band with 3 diamonds, .05ct T.W.
10kt gold chains, 21 keys, Playboy bunnies &
bracelets. All sold by weight.
Diamond Earrings, .18ct T.W. in 10kt gold.
Each piece is fully certified as to its exact colour, cut
and clarity and is backed by Shamins 10 point Protection Plan. Special Students Discount on most items.
Shamin is owned and operated by a UBC student.
Viewing by appointment only.
Scapino: a farce which highlights the
escapades of a devilishly charming rogue, until April 14, Studio 58.100 W. 49th, 324-5227.
Presentation   House,   333   Chesterfield,
Lifestyle Counterattack: featuring 35 of the
top North American health professionals including Ralph Nader, SFU. 873-8262.
Ellipsis: featuring Sandra Acton and
Dancers, April 7-8, Western Front, 303 E.
8th, 682-8098.
Patrick Gourley: his exhibition Open — large
mixed-media works, until April 28, Contemporary Art Gallery. 556 Hamilton, 687-1345.
Jeannie Kamins: displays her imaginative
and highly charming approach to recycling
fabric, until April 7, Unit/Pitt Gallery. 163
W. Pender, 681-6740.
Bruno Bobak: selected works — 1943-1980,
Burnaby Art Gallery, 6344 Gilpin, 291-9441.
Tom   Knott:   new   assemblage   sculpture,
End of the Year Party: come dressed as your
favourite historical character, admission $1, 7:30
p.m.-12 a.m., grad centre garden room.
Introductory film on the Baha'i faith and their international activities, noon, International House
Registration for spring classes, 12:30-1:30 p.m.,
SUB concourse.
Yes, indeed, we are having a meeting at 4:30
p.m. in the Gallery Lounge.
Weekly testimonial meeting, all welcome, 1:30
p.m., SUB 215.
Open meeting, 1:30 p.m., Buch. D238.
Admission and advisors' night for prospective
and returning students for spring and summer
courses, 6-8 p.m., International House lounge.
RATES: AMS Card Holders — 3 lines, 1 day $2.50; additional lines, 60c. Commercial — 3 lines,
1 day $4.20; additional lines, 66c. Additional days, $3.80 and 60c.
Classified ads are payable in advance. Deadline is 10:30 a. m. the day before publication.
Publications, Room 266, S.U.B., UBC, Van., B.C. V6T2A5
Charge Phone Orders over $5.00. Call 228-3977. ~
Little or No Experience
JUNE 8-17
TOTAL COST: $545/per.
For info, call:
Barbara Milne - 228-7428
Chris Harris - 266-3381
attend   an   afternoon   seminar
(previous pass rate - 75%) especially
designed    for    ENGLISH    100
students, and learn all the skills and
techniques necessary to pass. Full
notes provided. Pre-register by April
6. 1:00-5:00 P.M.
Sunday, April 8, 1984
SUB 213 Fee $35.00
contact:    L.A.    Johanson,    B.A.
(Hons.) 732-1593
Practice begins
at the nets near
John Owen Pavilion,
Spencer Field
11 - FOR SALE - Private
TOSHIBA KT-R2, similar to walkman but
w/recording AM/FM and A/C adapter (List
$380.00) $160.00. 688-5875
electric guitar w/case and accessories.
Sacrifice (List $906.00) $375.00 688-5875.
CYCLISTS: Leopard skin cycling pants and
shorts. Custom fit. Great for dancers, too.
Suzuki 400cc excellent condition 8000
km $1200 or best offer. Phone Ted
687-S237 mornings.
Norco Monte Carlo 12 sp. racing bike; quick
release wheels; attractive jet black. Almost
new. List $289 - sacrifice at $230. 921-8421.
1972 HONDA CB-500 4 Cyl. Nearly New Tires
Koni shocks, has been recently reconditioned but needs some work. New battery, bell
full coverage helmet. Ask for Charles after
5.00 P.M. 224-7623.
FOR SALE modern style couch and matching
chair good condition. Asking $200 or best
offer. Phone Sue 278-1591 or 687-1446.
NEW 1 BDRM STE. for rent. May 1-Aug.31.
West 18th-close to Dunbar. 732-1745 eves.
;0-OP HOUSE. Seeks 2 veg. N/S perm res.
or summer sublets, 16th & Courteney, $175
6- $206/mo. & util. start May 1st 228-0164.
MAY 1. Pass on a deal. . '. up to $300.
Bright, west side pref. 738-1411/73*8488.
LSAT, GMAT, MCAT preparation. Call
National Testing 738-4618. Please leave
message on tape if manager is counselling.
ESSAYS, term papers, reports, etc. Writer
with extensive academic exper. can assist
with research, writing editing. 682-1043.
30 - JOBS
Commercial Printing Shop, well established in
Lower Fraser Valley, seeks ambitious individuals
for marketing-oriented sales positions. Successful applicants will be responsible for
establishing and servicing new accounts. Compensation package includes commissions, car
expense, and extended medical plan.
Send resume outlining skills to:
Calli Printers Ltd.,
20339 Fraser Hwy..
     Langley V3A 4E8
VOLUNTEERS NEEDED: 16 healthy male
(25/40 yrs.) volunteers are needed for two
pharmacokinetic studies involving drug intake and blood sampling. An honorarium of
$80.00 will be paid for each study. For
detailed info, and consent forms please
contact: Dr. Charles Kerr, Fac. of Medicine
873-5441 Hoc 3032) or Ram Kapil, Fac.
Pharm. Sci. 228-6^72.
Mexican Restaurants — Kits & Rmd. locations. Applications accepted in person. Sat.
Apr. 7 only 10 am-1 pm. 1885 York Ave. No
phone calls please.
35 - LOST	
BILLY IDOL. Thursday, March 29th. Did you
find my bracelet behind S.U.B. or in the
S.U.B. parking lot the night of the show?
Substantial reward. Phone 224-1937 or contact Lost & Found.
LISA B 17778838
"I sit alone with you inside my mind.
And in my dreams I've kissed your lips
a thousand times."
THANKS FOR a wonderful year of friendship, formal and smiles.
Russell E. B.
No more essays . . .
No more assignments . . .
No more studying . . .
AND no more excuses.
Pick us up around sevenish May 1st
Suds & Mang
SIGMA CHI Derby Days was right on. Give
er next year. Right on.
WANT A JOB? Say so on a graffitti
personalized bumper sticker — only at the
T-Bird Shop in SUB.
RESUME SERVICE - Professionally written
word processor typed. Call Rick.
Reasonable rates. 732-9127.
EXPERT research help for hire. 224-5B02 or
reasonable feet. Pleaea phone 286-6748.
Correspondence Quality
Reports, Contracts, Theses,
Letters, Statements, Resumes,
A.A.L.L. 12th & Granville
ENGLISH TUTORING - Assistance in all
areas. Oral, written, grammar, composition, spelling, punctuation. 682-1043.
Essays,    Resumes,    Tapes
U.B.C. Village location
224-6518 DAY or NIGHT
EXPERT TYPING. Essays, term papers,
factums, letters, manuscripts, resumes,
theses, IBM Selectric II. Reasonable rates.
Rose, 731-9857.
offers reasonable rates for students for term
papers, essays, & masters thesis. 273-6008
write we type theses, resumes, letters,
essays, days, evenings, weekends.
ANYTIME. Reasonable rates. 263-0351.
installed. Have your essay, resumes &
manuscripts done on the best. We have
special rates for students. Four years in
business at 266-6814.
W/P & typing: term papers, theses, mscpt.,
essays, incl. reports, letters, resumes, Bilingual. Clemy, 266-6641.
SAME DAY SERVICE. Fast, accurate,
typing. Reasonable rates. 734-8451.
EXPERT TYPING. Fast, accurate, reliable.
Near Arbutus/King Edward. 8.50 hr. Agni.
FAST, accurate typing of term papers.
Rush jobs accepted. $1.25/page. Phone
WHAT A DEALI Fast, accurate, reliable
typing for $1.00 per pagel Call Kathy
FAST accurate typist available for manuscripts, theses, resumes, essays, etc.
$1.00/page. Refs. avail. 736-1305.
QUALITY TYPING on short notice. Reports
essays, resumes, etc. Reasonable rates.
PROFESSIONAL TYPING: All phases, fast,
reasonable. 25 yrs. exp. Electronic type
WORD PROCESSING. Essays, Theses,
Resumes, Etc. by professional typist. Ask
for our student rate. Ellen, 271-6924.
hour turnaround, courier or drop off. The
WORDCENTRE, 106-7031 Westminster
Hwy. 276-2283.
WORD PROCESSING. All jobs, tapes
transcribed, student rates. On King Edward
bus route, 879-5108. Wednesday, April 4,1984
Page 27
Year in review
Students drink at pub,
try all-new alternatives
From page 25
because they refused to cross picket lines?
The university waffled. "I imagine if you
have a policy giving faculty freedom of
choice, then you have to apply that to
students too," said Neil Risebrough, vice-
provost of student affairs.
But the administration never took a public
stand on the issue. Campus chaplain George
Hermanson attributed the administration's
failure to develop a policy to provincial
government pressure.
Faculty members, who spoke out against
the Public Sector Restraint Act since July,
agreed to give part of their wages to the
Solidarity Coalition during the strike, but
could not agree to honor picket lines around
Some academics who felt more strongly
formed the committee of Concerned
Academics and refused to cross picket lines.
They held rallies every morning of the strike.
In December, Pedersen announced the
deficit would be close to $18 million because
the government indicated it would reduce
funding by six per cent. Pedersen asked the
board to double tuition fees over the next
three years and introduce differential fees for
foreign students to meet the growing budget
"We have done some eyeballing at figures
and ways we could use to solve this year's
shortfall," he said.
In January, the board of governors did
raise tuition fees by 33 per cent and introduce
differential fees. The day before the decision,
university's senate restricted enrolment for
first year students entering UBC.
When the government delivered its Feb. 19
budget, faculty members became even more
worried. "Already we've seen a tremendous
decrease in the basic services that the university can provide," said Rich Spratley,
research services director.
In March, faculty members realized they
too were on the chopping block when they
discovered the faculty association executive
had come up with firing procedures worked
out with the administration. Faculty censured the executive at a stormy meeting.
The firing plans gave the administration
power to end programs and possibly departments. Pedersen was not fighting the Social
Credit's policies any more, he was merely trying to administer the cuts, and save face.
Student representatives weak
This year the Alma Mater Society experienced deep divisions. In September, student council voted to join the Solidarity
Coalition, although councillors spent more
time debating the decision than any action
taken around the cutbacks.
AMS president Mitch Hetman revealed he
moonlighted during the summer, employed
as both a carpenter in the Pit and as an executive member — two full-time jobs paid
by  students'   money.   At  the   fall  student
leadership conference, Hetman displayed his
skills as a leader by borrowing a boat without
the owner's permission. The police escorted
him away from the site.
CFS successfully secured seven new
members while only losing three this year,
although UBC's council never established a
clear position on the issue. But it decided to
set the date for UBC's membership referendum next November.
As job action began to escalate in
November, council made a serious blunder in
implying that it supported the crossing of
picket lines, and the hiring of scab labor.
Council's decisions sparked a strike of its
own as unionized employees in the SUB
business office set up pickets around the
building. The Office and Technical
Employees Union, without a contract for five
months, felt the AMS negotiators were not
bargaining in good faith. But management
continued to operate the business office, and
one AMS employee almost hit a striking
worker with a truck while delivering goods to
SUB. Hetman also delivered potato chips
across the line.
The dispute ended after two and a half
weeks when both sides signed a contract, giving an 11.5 per cent increase to the workers
over two years. Although critics said the increase was too little, council asserted it did
not have sufficient revenues to offer any
higher. But in a startling contrast, the executive awarded its business manager a 10 per
cent increase over only one year which would
bring his earnings to $73,000.
Council's political inaction prompted
several students to set up an alternative group
called  Students Against the Budget.  SAB
SOBOLEWSKI. . . fasted
worked with the community campus alliance,
and the Solidarity Coalition, both composed
of groups opposing the July 7 budget. They
organized teams of students to staff picket
lines, and protested a visit by the Fraser Institute's Walter Block when he crossed their
PEDERSEN . . . talking up a storm
line. They also put together a mock funeral
protesting UBC's massive tuition fee increases averaging 33 per cent this year.
In January two students, received council's
support to collect signatures for a petition
opposing the fee increase. The 5,000
signatures did not dissuade the board.
The AMS established itself as an organization dedicated to profits, and not to students'
Uninterested generation
"Victim of the 80s," reads a T-shirt worn
by a student. That about sums up our generation. We appear to be facing an ominous
future, including high unemployment and
nuclear war. We want to get ahead and
scramble to the top because there will not be
room there for all of us. We are individualistic, think we are realistic and we do
not want to hear about causes.
As an example of student trends, student
council has not emphasized politics for years.
It wants to provide club space, a games
room, cafeteria and two pubs for students.
Students now support radically different
causes from the 60s. UBC has the largest intramural program in Canada.
When students did take political action this
year, they chose non-traditional channels.
The engineering students organized a letter
campaign, and forestry students travelled to
Victoria to protest the lack of reforestation in
Students gathered signatures to prompt a
referendum on whether military research
should be allowed on campus. The referendum held in January did not reach quorum,
but the votes did favor ending military
Biology graduate student Andre
Sobolewski fasted 40 days to protest the
death of B.C.'s human rights commission, in
the hope that his fast would raise public
awareness about human rights.
Across Canada and at UBC students
debated a series of issues, such as the cruise
missile, the bill creating a federal secret service and women's image in society, particularly in violent pornography.
But students this year generally did not
want to be involved. They were too busy
drinking at the Gallery, UBC's trendy new
pub. Social trends change slowly, and
students will likely not be much different
next year.
Until then, cheers.
E. BUNNY has
treats to last you
all summer long
• windshield wiper
• rainbow balloons &
• kites with 50 foot tails
• watermelon socks
• Easter baskets to fill
• jelly beans & bears
4462 W. 10th Ave. 224-5311
Open Friday Eves. & Sun. Afts.
Wednesday, April 4, 1984
Verna Antifaeff
Ofra Asian
Gary Bank
Phil Bennett
David Berger
Azim Bhimji
Art Bomke
Chuck Baname
Jane Robinson Bond
Eric Bremer
Lynn Brockington
Vyvyan Brunst
Gail Buente
Andrea Burbidge
Maggie Campbell
Nancy Campbell
Henry Kay Caterers
Jim Christian
Sofia Ciechanowski
Jim Clark
John Comparelli
Matthew Copas
Margaret Copping
Chris Corless
Daphne Covemton
Mary Jane Cowan
Peter Cowsey
Doug DeJong
A. Demchuk & M. Wallace
Dianne Demille
Gary Dennis
Bob Devlin
Katherine Dobinson
Assemble: 11:00 a.m.. Kits Beach
Endorsed by over 180 students, church, community, labour, professionals, environmental, women's, ethnic and peace organizations.
Heidi Dopp
Mark Douse
Willa Downing
Judith Doyle
Mark Fettes
Jim Firth
Patti Flather
Allan Fletcher
James Foulks
Glen Franklyn
Kathleen Garneau
Geoff Gabbott
Lisa Getz
Don Giacomazzi
Trevor Gibbens
Brian Gold
Steven Harris
Lisa Hebert
Yule Heibel
Mark Heieis
Kent Hogarth
Karen Hogg
Geoff Hughes-Games
Joanne Jaccard
Lori Jovick
Harold Kasinsky
Peter Kendall
Ian Kennard
Jennifer Kinloch
David Kulak
Seonaid Lamb
Kathleen Leblanc
Paul Leblond
Ashoke Sarkar
Michael Lemke
Margaret Sarkissian
Tracy Lloyd
Ray Schultz
J.I.S. MacDonald
Keith Shanks
John MacDonald
Rob Shipman
Scott Mackenzie
Don Sinclair
Hilary Maguire
Frank Smith
Harry Mangalam
Heather Smith
Gary Marchant
Andre Sobolewski
Kim Marchant
Luis Sobrino
Isobel McDonald
Terry Stewart
Chris Millward
Duncan Stewart
Lee Millward
Mary Swift
Andrew Milne
Brenda Milne
Jonathan Thornburg
Laurie Monahan
Johanne Tomio
Sue Montgomery
Hagar Toy
Penny Nation
Norman Treloar
Renee Umezuki
Bev Olds
Peter Vaisbord
Don Olds
Eva VanLoon
Douglas Watts Peng
Gord Walsh
Mary Potter
Murray Webb
Steve Priestly
Chris Webber
Peter Prongos
Gerald Weinstein
Teresa Pryce
Christina Willings
Shae Rankin
Bronwen Wilson
Charlotte Rasmussen
Bruce Wilson
John Reid
Stephen Wisenthal
Murray Richter
Laura Robertson
Assunta Romei
Doug Ross
Box 71, SUB
To find out about SPMD summer activities
Office: SUB 230B
. . Mark: 228-5530; Jennifer: 732-8302; Gary:   734-2715.


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