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The Ubyssey Mar 30, 1973

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Array Arts profs flee 50 students
By GARY COULL
Arts professors voted
Wednesday to adjourn their
meeting after 50 uninvited
students wanting to hear
discussion of a report from the
faculty's ad-hoc committee on
student representation invaded
the meeting.
Students waited outside the
meeting until a vote was taken
among faculty to decide about
admitting all the students and
in effect open the meeting, or
to allow a delegation of eight to
come in. The vote favored a
delegation which was flatly
refused by the students who
wanted a completely open
meeting.
Arts undergraduate
president Bill Moen entered
the meeting to explain why a
delegation of students was
unacceptable. After he finished
speaking three doors opened
and the remaining students
walked in.
A race developed between
Vol. LIV, No. 47
VANCOUVER, B.C.,
FRIDAY, MARCH 30, 1973
228-2301
That's all
folks!
Inside this 28-page Ubyssey,
you'll find one of our clever,
witty, urbane satires — this
one called SLIME — and lots of
other meaty stuff including
page 19 on union organizing on
campus, pages 22 and 23 on The
Electors' Action Movement
and two year-end wrap-ups on
page. 9. Which is all to say
this issue, the 47th of the year,
is our last.
Th-th-th-that's all folks!
economics prof Gideon
Rosenbluth and classics head
Malcolm McGregor to move
adjournment of the meeting.
Rosenbluth won with
McGregor heartily seconding
the motion. The motion passed
overwhelmingly.
But few faculty members
stayed behind to talk with
students, unlike the Nov. 24
faculty meeting when 150
students and 40 teachers
remained to pass a motion
asking the faculty to accept in
principle student voting
representation at all levels of
the faculty.
At the Dec. 13 faculty
meeting a motion was passed
accepting the principle of
student voting representation
at only faculty meetings and
striking a committee to report
on possible implementation'
procedures.
Arts dean Doug Kenny
appointed history prof
Margaret Prang to head the
committee, which failed to
give its report before the
adjournment of Wednesday's
meeting.
The report proposes major,
honors and grad students elect
one student from each of their
departments and schools in the
faculty, allowing 23 voting
members at faculty meetings
representing   5,000   students.
Participation on faculty
committees is limited to
persons concerned with
academic policy —
curriculum, curriculum
development, evaluation and
improvement of teaching, and
part-time studies.  '
The report says: "Although
student membership is already
provided for on the first three
of the above committees, most
of the students have attended
irregularly or not at all. It is
our hope that our proposals
will facilitate active student
participation."
The report recommends one-
third of these committees be
composed of students.
Elections of reps should be
conducted by the registrar
before Oct. 15, similar to
current faculty elections. Five
persons must nominate a
candidate who will hold office
until the next election.
The AUS flatly rejects these
recommendations. In its
Students and Politics
Newsletter Moen writes: "This
report must stand as one of the
most outrageous acts of
cowardice yet shown by the
faculty. The recommendations
in no way reflect the interests
of the students and offers no
structural changes in the
decision-making procedures of
the faculty to allow meaningful
student representation."
The student committee
which was to work with the
Prang committee made
counter    recommendations.
See page 2: RECOMMENDATIONS
A STRUCTURAL FAULT in one of the roof beams on the east side
of the spanking new Sedgewick Library has the building's contractors, engineers, and architects running around like chickens with
their heads cut off. Steel reinforcements have been placed under the
—mark hamilton photo
beam, and Physical Plant says repairs should be relatively easy. The
one-inch fault was first noticed when difficulty was experienced in
opening adjacent doors.
Math prof 'shafted'
By LESLEY KRUEGER
Math professor Jon Schnude finds
himself in a rather interesting position.
He was given a certificate of merit iiv
the master teacher award for one of the
last lectures he will give before leaving
the university — since he was denied
tenure last year.
But math department head Ralph
James said Thursday the award
prompted the- department to reopen
consideration of Schnude's case.
Referring to Schnude's teaching
abilities, James acknowledged the
award for excellence, saying: "The
department is belatedly recognizing this
fact."
He refused comment on other
matters, saying: "I think you can
recognize the fact that we want to
remain silent at this point in time."
But he added: "I think I can safely
say the reason Mr. Schnude was denied
tenure had nothing to do with his
teaching ability."
No one seems to say why Schnude
was denied tenure — least of all Schnude
himself, who is willing to be quoted on
only his name, rank and serial number.
Or   the  university   equivalent:   the
academic record.
Schnude said he has his PhD in
applied math from Stanford in
California, and that he has enjoyed the
six years spent teaching at UBC.
Other than that he's unwilling to
comment due to the "delicacy of my
position.
"I'd like to stay on here, to pursue my
research and work with the students and
this committee to look into the matter
again is the last gasp, so to speak.
"I don't want to say anything to blow
this."
Schnude's students are quick to
comment, however.
Chris Shackleton, of Schnude's math
200 course, said he registered for the
course because he liked the math 100
course he had taken the previous year
from the same prof.
"I made a point of being in the
course, and so did most of the people I sit
with in the class," Shackleton said
Thursday.
"He seems to have a great ability to
feel out undergraduate's problems in
math and help them deal with these
problems."
Shackleton also called Schnude a
"creative teacher" who is able to
present classical mathematics problems
in original matters interesting to the
students.
He said the 200 course workload was
"well-covered" during the term and
students were helped to grasp the
material.
Other students echo this testimonial,
particularly the engineering students in
math 437 who nominated him for the
master teacher award.
So apparently does the master
teacher committee, includings its head,
academic planner Robert Clarke.
Thursday he outlined 10 criteria used
to choose both the master teachers and
those receiving certificates of merit.
These include good rapport with the
students, a creative approach to the
subject, availability to students on the
part of the prof, enthusiasm, thorough
knowledge of the subject, high standards
with desire to motivate students to
achieve these standards and so on.
Said Shackleton: "It's disappointing
to see someone so sincere get shafted.
"Teachers like this are few and far
between." Page 2
THE      UBYSSEY
-Friday, March 30, 1973
Community chest
By ELAINE BLESI and ART ARON
The summer is coming — even if it seems an
eternity away.
Although you are busy now, there is a lot of
time to plan for after that last exam. Maybe
you have to work, but what you work at, and
how you use your free time, is all up to you.
The freedom is always a challenge,
sometimes a headache. You know the summer
is a chance to mold your experiences according
to your own life plan. We can not tell you what
to do, but we would like to offer some
suggestions to consider, because we know there
are a lot of people and scenes that need some
positive energy applied this summer.
It can feel really good to get away to a whole
new environment and get involved with people
who need you. A woman we know in Sydney,
Australia, spent her annual month's vacation
from her office job by going into the very
desolate interior at Alice Springs to live with
the aborigines.
Each year for nine years she learned more
about their life, especially their arts and crafts.
She eventually formed a crafts co-operative
and helped distribute and popularize aboriginal
art (which always seems to be a first step to
gaining respect and economic independence for
native peoples).
She also became a spokesman for these
people, a lone voice against the Australian
government's policies toward aborigines. That
was the result of one woman's vacations — a
big difference for a whole race of people.
If you are ready to make this kind of
commitment, there are ample opportunities
right here in B.C. Even if you prefer to work on
only a part time basis, and within an
organization, there are so many places that
even one person's work can make a big
difference.
Over the last few weeks we have mentioned
a number of groups that need people to carry
out important projects — during the summer
all of these will be busier than ever. This week
we have three more groups you could get
involved in.
Members of the B.C. Environmental Council
are involved in the day-to-day hard work of
saving the planet, right here in B.C. They
publish the B.C. Environment News, produce a
weekly cable television show, and even conduct
"environmental tours" to help keep the people
informed. And they try to become directly
involved whenever they find the public is being
left out of the decision making process on an
issue that affects the environment.
They have submitted briefs and made a
concerned voice heard in projects from port
development to waste disposal. And there is
plenty of room for new programs and ideas. Of
course, all of this work needs people.
If you are willing to make a real
commitment of time to saving the environment
of B.C., then here is an opportunity to make a
difference. Phone 277-4424.
The Consumer Action League is fighting to
protect and educate people — especially in the
area of debts and credit schemes. They do debt
counselling, publicize bad deals, promote
legislation to help consumers, and organize
people who support their programs. They are
gathering information on local rip-offs like the
T-4 loan sharks and mortgage brokers. If you
would like to be involved, phone 873-1939.
The Vancouver Crisis Centre and
Community Information Centre man
telephones to assist in just what they say —
helping in crises and giving information. They
need volunteers for the Information Centre
anytime. It involves being a link between those
who need information and those who want to
give it out.
The Crisis Centre takes applications,
although there is some delay before you would
be used (if you apply now, you would perhaps
be involved with them this summer). They are
looking for sensitive souls who are good with
people — they train you. For both call 736-3661.
Our Scheme of the Week is for you who
yearn to be out in B.C.'s glories this summer,
and provide some insurance that it will stay
glorious for other summers.
How about some informational signs at
roadside rests and in parks about the ecology of
the surrounding country? This would provide
interesting reading to tourists, educate them
about what policies they might wish to support
to protect this area when they are back home,
suggest to them what flora and fauna to watch
for, give them greater awareness of nature
around them, and remind them of how they
might act to help or hinder the ecology during
their visit.
The authorities to see about such signs will
differ from place to place, but they should be
reasonably co-operative. You will need to
gather information for the signs, and letter
well, or know someone who does. It would cost
almost nothing if you do the work yourself.
So many summer visitors go through B.C.
grateful for its splendors, yet ignorant of the
delicate mechanisms which maintain the
beauty. They know nothing of the threats to the
scene or the changes that have already taken
place.
They are detached from their surroundings.
Let's change that.
Recommendations countered
From page 1
These include representation
at faculty and committee
levels with parity minus one,
giving the faculty the
appropriate majority as
outlined by a senate report on
representation adopted Jan.
19.
Students propose two
methods of rep. elections: —
One is that both faculty and
students be chosen from each
department to sit at a faculty
meeting of 500 members
(broken down into faculty, 250;
grads, majors and honors
students composing three-
quarters of faculty, 187; and
the remaining being first and
second year students, 62).
The other is a less structured
method of allowing the first 249
students attending any given
meeting seating with vote. Any
other students present will also
Another alternative to the
Prang report was to have been
presented by political science
professor Phil Resnick and
other faculty members at
Wednesday's meeting. The
alternative — an amendment
to the ad-hoc committee
report — recommends election
of one rep for every 25 students
or up to five percent of the
department.
BINGO
EVERY TUESDAY
at 7:45 p.m.
Prizes in Excess of $2300.
At 10th Ave. & Camosun
YUKON ALTERNATIVE
SCHOOL
Carcross
Community
PETER BRIMACOMBE
speaks
SUB 215
12:30 Monday, April 2
an AUCM event
ooooooooooooooooooooooo
:
THE CANADIAN BROADCASTING CORPORATION
PRESENTS: the taping of yet another
DR. BUNDOLO'S
PANDEMONIUM
MEDICINE SHOW
"Live Radio Comedy"
FREE
SUB Movie Theatre—Thurs. April 5
AT NOON SHOW BEGINS AT 12:30
BOOOOOOOOOPPOOOCOOOOOCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
LINO'S
TAKEOUT
PIZZERIA
3621 W. Broadway, near Alma
APRIL   1-4
SPECIAL Vi PRICE SALE ON MEDIUM
LARGE AND EXTRA LARGE PIZZA - PICK-UP ONLY
Phone ahead to avoid waiting
DIAL 736-3401
TRY OUR DELICIOUS FLAVOR- CRISP CHICKEN
m
The University of British Columbia
Centre for
Continuing Education
READING & STUDY
SKILLS PROGRAMS
Reading Improvement Program
RC13
The Reading and Study Skills Centre offers individualized courses
for those who wish to improve their reading and study skills for
academic, professional and personal reasons.
Course work emphasizes increase of reading comprehension and
rate, previewing, skimming and scanning, flexibility, study habits,
critical reading skills and special interest areas.
The fee scale is $30 for secondary students and fill-time
university students and $60 for non-students. This includes
testing, materials, counselling and use of the reading laboratory.
Class enrollment is limited to 18. Classes are held in the East Mall
Annex beginning the week of May 7, 1973, and meet for a total
of 18 hours.
CLASS SCHEDULE
Section Time
7:00-9:00 p.m.
7:00-9:00 p.m.
7:00-9:00 p.m.
7:00-9:00 p.m.
7:00-9:00 p.m.
9:00-12 noon
9:00-12 noon
Day
Mon. Wed.
Mon. Wed.
Mon. Wed.
Tues. Thur.
Tues. Thur.
Sat.
Sat.
Room
118
119
116
118
119
118
118
Type
Student
Non-student
*Special
Student
Non-student
Non-student
Secondary Student
'Reserved for persons who have backgrounds in a language other than English
Writing Improvement Program Rc 14
Writing Improvement is an 18-hour non-credit course designed to
improve essay writing and composition skills. This course is open
to university and college students of all years, to persons who are
planning to resume their studies and to persons generally wanting
to improve their writing for personal or professional reasons.
The course will deal with common problems in writing such as
essay organization and structure, word choice, sentence structure
and punctuation, as Well as special topics including organization
of the long research paper and bibliographic techniques.
Each week students will be encouraged to bring their assignments
to class for discussion. The class is small and the course is
individualized. Students will have an opportunity for writing
practice every week.
The fee is $30 for full-time students and $60 for non-students.
The class will meet for six Wednesdays from 7-10 p.m.
commencing May 9, 1973 in room 3252 of the Buchanan
Building. The course will be taught by Mrs. Mava Jo Powell,
Instructor for Continuing Education.
For further information on either program please write or
telephone Reading and Study Skills Centre, Education Extension
Programs, Centre for Continuing Education, University of British
Columbia, Vancouver 8. Telephone 228-2181, local 220.
REGISTRATION FORM
Reading Program (RC 13) Writing Program (RC 14)
Name of Program   Section ..
Name (Mr. Mrs. Miss Ms.)	
Surname Given Name
Address  .City . .
Occupation     Employer	
Student Student No	
Telephone (Daytime)    (Evening)
Fee:   $30.00 students
$60.00 non-students
Institution
Cheque
enclosed $ . . . .
Cash
paid $.
Please make cheques payable to the University of British Columbia and
mail with this form to REGISTRATIONS (RC 11, 12), Centre for
Continuing Education, University of British Columbia, Vancouver 8, B.C. Friday, March 30, 1973
THE       UBYSSEY
Page 3
Work centres ready for students
«—kini mcdonald photo
UNIDENTIFIED UBC VISITOR quickly adapts herself to spring sun and takes advantage of the weather to
catch up on her overall impression of the cosmos. Photo was taken during the short, anesthetizing lull before
the deluge commonly known among students as dem ol' examination blues.
Wally Wagon charges dropped
The engineering
undergraduate society and the
urban vehicle design
committee have dropped all
charges against four Simon
Fraser University and one
British Columbia Institute of
Technology students who stole
the Wally Wagon last week.
Those responsible for the
theft have agreed to donate
$200 to the B.C. Society for
Crippled Children as a
settlement for the shanghai.
Earlier the thieves planned to
hold the Wally Wagon for a $200
ransom payable to the Medical
Aid for Vietnam committee but
their plans were foiled by an
alert RCMP officer in
Burnaby.
By LEN JOHNSON
Student employment centres at UBC and Canada Manpower
are preparing for an expected rush of students applying for
summer jobs,
UBC student placement officer Cam Craik said although it is
too soon to accurately predict the summer job market, students
are advised to register early because students who show
themselves eager are usually the first to get a job.
Craik said Thursday the placement office used two main
techniques in finding employment for students.
"Pair of hands" jobs — those requiring manual labor — are
posted on the bulletin board in the office. Jobs requiring special
skills are listed on file and are matched to students who have
registered their applications with student placement.
Craik said all students should both register and check the
board regularly.
At the Canada Manpower student placement centre,
placement officer R.J. Rut tan said the job market should be
better this year than last because no major unions are due to go
on strike this summer.
He said many students did not receive jobs last summer
because several of the unions in which students are usually
employed went out on strike.
Canada Manpower has student placement centres in
Burnaby, Chilliwack, Cranbrook, Kamloops, Kelowna,
Nanaimo, New Westminster, North Vancouver, Prince George,
Trail, Vancouver, Victoria and Whitehorse.
Last year more than 20,000 students registered with
manpower and Ruttan said registration is up from this date last
year even though the number of students registered in
academic institutions is down. This shows students are
accepting the centres as a credible means of obtaining a job,
said Ruttan.
He said the centres are for students only and students
registering with them may not register with the regular
manpower offices because they are designed to supply full-time
employment. Students receiving jobs that way will be taking
jobs from people who need permanent jobs.
Ruttan said any student who really wants a job can get one if
he or she is willing to look hard enough because at any given
time 20 per cent of the jobs in the business community are
vacant.
He suggested six steps students should follow to get a job —
apply at the nearest manpower centre, apply for one of the
federal government student employment programs or as
summer relief in federal government jobs, apply with large
employers such as B.C. Tel or B.C. Hydro, apply to small
employers, use word-of-mouth with friends or read the
newspapers. , c
The word-of-mouth method results in as high as 45 per cent of
jobs which are obtained, said Ruttan.
Students who come to a manpower centre are required to fill
out a "mini-application" form, and have a short interview with
a counsellor — all of whom are students. Their application is
then put on file until a suitable job arises.
Ruttan said the most successful students are those who come
in with a definite idea of what they want to do, rather than just
saying they will do anything.
He said many jobs which pay $2 an hour often go unfilled
because many students who say they will do anything are only
interested in jobs which are well paying.
Craik said the student placement centre publishes a list of
hints for students seeking employment which includes using
any personal contacts one may have, being specific as to job
preference, following up rumors, asking present employees
about the prospects of employment and seeking opportunities to
acquire a saleable skill such as waiters, waitressing and others.
Meanwhile, the opportunities for graduate students — who
may not apply at student manpower centres for full time
employment — are varied depending on the graduate's faculty.
Commerce and education graduates will probably not have
difficulty obtaining jobs as long as they are mobile while grads
from arts and sciences will find it more difficult to find a job
than before, said student services director A.F. Shirnan.
Non illegitimus
carborundum
The. B.C. Tenants Organization is urging students to sign
petitions asking the government to introduce a rental review
board for off-campus housing.
Scott Cameron, commerce 3, said if enough people sign the
petitions, pressure could be placed on the provincial
government to introduce rental review legislation.
"Elected officials will only act when they feel they are
representing the electoral power base," he said Thursday.
He also asked students looking for a place next fall not to be
satisfied with substandard basement rooms at outrageous
rents.
"Students should phone the licences and permits department
at city hall and ask if the suite has been inspected and is a legal
suite," he said.
"If the suite is really bad it probably isn't legal, so if you
present the landlord with the alternative of renting at a lower
price or not renting at all, he will probably lower the rent,"
Cameron said. Page 4
THE      UBYSSEY
Friday, March 30, 1973
^  I MflOU   THE TERMS   Of THE    TRfATy , C/fl£F,,~^\
BUT   LOOK   AROUHD...      THE GgASS   ftXVV tSHoU NC   MORE,      )
- " THE RIVER DtN'r fiOU MO MIR£,   ANO   —
KY   Alti*r BLUE  HO 10t£„,
Blorgs
Well it's the end of the year. And we're glad.
Now we can tell the people who bitched about
mistakes in tween classes and hot flashes and the people
who came in one hour after deadline with hot stories and
the administrators who wouldn't comment and the Alma
Mater Society hacks on general principle and the people
who complained because they think The Ubyssey is biased
and the reporters who said they would do stories and never
showed their faces in the office again and hostile lawyers
and the person who decided the graduate students' centre
bar wouldn't open until four and the person who decided
the library would close at midnight and people who puke on
Ubyssey staffers and in short all buzzard farts who ever
screwed The Ubyssey around to eat the toe jam of the
knuckle-dragging, hairy-fisted, wedge-footed, fart-sucking,
goat-blowing, pig-fingering, rat-fucking, navel-sniffing,
pimple-popping, mung-biting, lip-licking, crab-picking,
incredibly ugly, smegma blorgs, who also snort ear-wax.
r
rm UBYSSEY
MARCH 30,1973
Published Tuesdays and Fridays throughout the university year by
the Alma Mater Society of the University of B.C. Editorial
opinions are those of the writer and not of the AMS or the
university administration. Member, Canadian University Press. The
Ubyssey publishes Page Friday, a weekly commentary and review:
The Ubyssey's editorial offices are located in room 241K of the
Student Union Building.
Editorial  departments, 228-2307; Sports, 228-2305; advertising,
228-3977.
Co-editors: Jan O'Brien, John Andersen
"Suck farts," said Vaughn Palmer, straddling a somewhat rare but
appealing variety of spinach. "Fuck Sartre," replied the clever Michael Sasges
with a Marxist twang in his voice as he strapped the throbbing Smith &
Wesson .38 revolver to his right thigh.
Eating the revolver and shooting the spinach and checking their pockets
for unwanted body hair, the two set out, in well-hacked hack David
Schmidt's words, "to boldly defile what no man has defiled before."
Meanwhile, at the same time, nay, the same very second, John
Andersen and Jan O'Brien, both of whose moral fibre had unravelled and
decayed years beforehand, took liberties with a chicken and ate its feathers.
The chicken, who indeed deserved to be violated, was rather improbably
named Berton Woodward, and was a competent rat-eater in his own right.
Taking care not to drop her copy of Nancy Drew Meets The Leather
Lads, Lesley Krueger staggered through the hen-house, basket in hand,
picking up eggs that were unfortunate enough not to escape from her. "Hi,
I'm Gary Coull," squeaked a rather obnoxious Lilliputian. "Take me home
and put me in the back of your toilet, and I'll make your bathroom smell
nice." Krueger stepped on him and tried not to throw up.
Sandy Kass and Christine Krawczyck, from their spacious penthouse
suite above the hen-house, ate their slug sandwiches and talked about bowel
movements. Linda Hossie, with her wrists found tied to the window sash,
threatened to end it all immediately unless Ken Dodd agreed to stop wearing
her clothes.
But a violent tremor, with the seismographical reading of a rhino with
dysentery, shook her loose from the sash, and at the window she saw Paul
Knox, patron saint of righteous indignation, brandishing a feature on the
anal fixations of the AMS administration, carved into two tablets of granite.
"But ho!" said he, cupping his ear. "The gypsies have arrived!"
Amid a swirl of tamborines and the flurry of flying gooseiiver, Sondra
Marshall Smith, Lorri Rudland, Josie Bannerman, Steve Brown, Ryon
Guedes, and Len Johnson leaped from their wagons, uprooted a dozen
potatoes and tubers from a neighboring farm, and used them for punctuation
in a complex, but disgusting rugby song.
Deborah MacNeill, the queen of the gypsies, was radiant in a gold lame
corset and matching hockey pads. In attendance to her majesty were Art
Aron and Elaine Blesi, who were wanted by the police for smuggling crunchy
granola across the state line illegally.
Phil Magnall and Kent Spencer, despite protests from anyone within
seeing or smelling distance, were applying horse manure to their chapped
lips. "It doesn't exactly cure their chapped lips," said Roger McNeill, "but it
sure stops them from licking."
Peter MacQueen and Simon Truelove, meanwhile, were placing bets on
the exact moment Richard Kranabetter would begin to rot. "We thought, a
few days ago, he was beginning to rot, but it turned out to be just a bad case
of B.O.," they said.
These crazy shutterbugs, Mark Hamilton, Kini McDonald, and Sucha
Singh were taking turns photographing each other's particulars. "I'm
particular to your particulars," Kotaro Tanaka told them, taking great care
not to trip over Steve Morris' nostril hairs.
Suddenly the crack troops of the Royal Impressionist Grenade Squad,
Ed Cepka, David MacKinlay, Robert Perry, Mike Biggs, Brenda wite,
Adrienne Glen, Jim Fowler, Katrina Von Flotow, Jolanda Forsythe, Michael
Ruttan, M. J. Green and David Piercey swooped down on the lovely Clive
Bird, tore off his clothes, and covered him with blackstrap molasses.
The tableau was accompanied by the Robert Mitchinson Junior High
Glee Club (Jennifer Alley, Barry Ferguson, Laurence Keane, Richard Cavell)
who sang several choruses of "Hey Lick Me Over".
But in a distant jail the poor, orphaned wreck of a man named Art
Smolensky finished pissing out the window and tried to sharpen what
remained of his ballpoint pen. He tore off a piece of his shirt and crouched
down painfully onto the floor. He had to get his copy ready.| For the guys.
For the paper. He began to write:
"In a prison cell I sit,
With my britches full of shit . . ."
Bye-Bye
Goodbye.
Chris Harvey
arts 4
millett
Another viewpoint on Kate
Millett... Jan O'Brien's account
of Kate Millett's talk at UBC last
week expressed well my own
reaction toMillett'slecture and the
reaction, I know, of several other
women. I, too, went toMillett's
lecture in the vaguely wistful hope
of finding a little inspiration, or at
least hearing some new ideas. It's
been a long time since any new
thoughts or insights "have come
out out of the women's
movement. Instead, like O'Brien, I
found only hopelessness and
ineffectual anguish. The audience
was predominantly women and, as
far as I could tell, predominantly
sympathetic toMillettand ready to
accept her. Yet she seemed aloof,
stiff, almost fearful. Not
everyone's a good public speaker.
That's no disgrace. Millett
obviously finds speaking before
large crowds a real agony; why
does she put herself through the
ordeal?
Millett's Sexual Politics, though
I did not agree with everything it
said, was a powerful,
well-researched, well-written book
— above all, a sparingly angry
book. The long excerpts she read
from her new "unpublishable"
autobiographical novel were rather
sad and certainly depressingly
familiar (who among us, women
and men, have not experienced
similar, painful personal crises)
also boring and surprisingly poorly
written. I suggest that the quality
of writing rather than the
inflammatory subject matter may
be why it was refused publication.
I was disappointed. If this is the
kind of creative material coming
Letters
out of the movement it's not a
particularly encouraging sign.
Rudderless, the movement
seems to be drifting around and
around in aimless self-defeating
circles. It needs new ideas, new
direction, and, desperately, new
creative leaders who share our
frustration but at the same time
can show us there is something
beyond despair.
Robin Burgess
arts 3
Sexist
I have .spent a large part of the
last 17 years teaching — or, more
accurately, learning how to teach.
I was a runner-up the first year
the master teacher award was
given, and a winner the second. In
the coming academic year I shall
be teaching both freshmen and a
seminar designed especially for
Ph.D candidates. As well as taking
part in many conferences on the
teaching of English in Vancouver,
and in other towns throughout
the province, I have seized every
opportunity to teach classes in the
schools in the towns where such
conferences were held. So far I've
managed to teach classes in grades
7-12. Last year I taught drama to
children grades 4-8 at Queen
Mary; this year, for a term, I did
the same thing at the
experimental City School. In
1970 I chaired a departmental
committee on teaching
improvement and evaluation; I am
currently chairman of the faculty
of arts committee on teaching
improvement and evaluation.
This rather tedious list of facts
is to give some substance to a
claim that is, I hope, obvious to a
great many students I have taught
at UBC (in English 100, 200, 300,
340, 392, 393, 440, 491, 492,
497, 499, 505, 506, 535 and in
Zoology 400): namely, that I am
enthusiastic, in the strictest sense
of that word, about teaching; and
that I take it more seriously than
any other activity in my life - a
fact I think my wife would wryly,
or sardonically, confirm.
Having stated my credentials, I
would like to state in public why I
refuse to administer the arts
undergraduate society's teaching
evaluation questionnaire in the
classes I am teaching this year.
The questionnaire discriminates
quite blatantly against men, both
as students and teachers. It asks
students to state if their instructor
is fair to women ("and other
groups"). It does not ask students
to say if their instructor is fair to
men. And although the number of
women on faculty is, alas, smaller
than the number of men, the
percentage of female instructors
capable of discriminating against
male students is not less than the
percentage of male instructors
capable of discriminating against
male or female students.
I deplore the kind of sexual
apartheid not only encouraged
but provoked, even begged for by
such blatant discrimination. The
questionnaire proves once again, I
believe, that some students (those
who formulated the questionnaire
for example) are more interested
in politics, social and sexual, than
they are in pedagogy and the
pursuit of knowledge. What I
resent, in this as in all other
aspects of my life, are people
who, pretending to be one thing,
are really doing something quite
different.
John F. Hulcoop
English dept.
Weill?/
So the Wally committee once
again flexes its muscles and tries,
in vain, to justify its existence.
What kind of mentality does it
take to press charges, and damned
serious ones at that, over a harm- Friday, March 30, 1973
THE      UBYSSEY
Page 5
Letters
less prank (a prank reminiscent of
our own gears not so long ago)?
Are the members of the committee so pure that they have the
power of God over five people
acting in a good cause? If a
deterrent to others is required,
why in hell do you have to ruin
the lives of five of your peers?
A much more sensible deterrent might be to pay the $200 and
have SFU match the figure. For a
bunch of mother hens worried
sick over their "baby" they seemed pretty free with the little bastard in the sports car club's
gymkhana on Sunday afternoon.
We were once proud to be members of this university.
James Martin
science 1
Richard Campbell
science 1
Wagon
I'm glad to see the SFU lads
who stole the Wally wagon appre-
ciated the engineering
undergraduate society's good
humor over the incident.
Everyone seems to be commending these individuals on their
ingenious method of theft. This
is where I disagree, and also why
the EUS is chuckling, — the
bumbling fools got caught!! What
technique, what fore-thought!
We're duly impressed!
On a serious note the urban
vehicle design committee who
control the Wally wagon have not
taken the issue so lightly. These
are the individuals who spent
many, many hours on the design
and construction of the vehicle.
They feel, and very strongly, that
these individuals should not be let
off the hook so easily.
The possibility of any person
toying with this $30,000 vehicle
and causing serious damage to it is
not very inviting. By not taking
any punitive action against these
characters we would open ourselves to unlimited attacks from
these silly, juvenile pranksters.
And, as is well known, the EUS
does not condone this type of
behaviour.
Craig Williams
EUS president
Plot
A few days ago the Wally
Wagon was stolen from UBC as a
prank. A group of SFU students
"engineered"  the caper:  forcing
the garage door open and towing
the car back to SFU.
So says the bureaucratic establishment voiced by the running
dog lackey imperialist press. But
agents of the Ambleside and Tid-
ley Cove anti-truck, anti-train,
anti-procrastination - society say
"Nyet". The SFU students are
reported (by short wave shoe
radios) to be agents of the Soviet
secret service. They received their
training at a CIA school for the
blind, where they learned to crawl
through key-holes, and to say
"good morning", "good evening",
and "could I have more peanut
butter, please", in English.
The mission went well, and the
trip to SFU was uneventful except
for being caught by the RCMP.
The officers were actually disguised members of the Limpopo
Valley pathology club on a field
trip. They admitted they were
lucky to intercept a message; a
fortune cookie concealed in a
six-pack of Heidleberg.
The alleged students pleaded
that they were collecting medical
aid for Vietnam. The engineers of
UBC claim it was a "commie
plot" to ransom the car for two
million rubles, and the release of
all the Doukhobors in Aldergrove.
The engineers are going to press
charges.
The SFU student body president, Ferdman Chekov denies any
knowledge of the plot, but suggests the Wally Wagon could have
been on its way to SFU by way of
an auto pilot planted inside by
Burmese radical elements.
Upon being questioned, the
Kremlin typically denied all
knowledge of SFU, but said that
"If the gears could not look after
their own equipment, they do not
deserve to keep it."
One high ranking official, a
General E. Gorf, between requests
for more peanut butter, declared,
"They have no Wally wagon,
never have had a Wally wagon,
never will have a Wally wagon,
and if they had, we would have
had one first."
Last night, a group of engineers
overheard while towing the computing centre to Langara campus
said "If the Wally wagon didn't
get us sympathy, this'sure is gonna".
Bartholemew B. Bodkin
poli sci 9
GRADS!
DON'T FORGET to
make your appointment
for your FREE COLOR
GRADUATION PORTRAIT
3343 WEST BROADWAY
VANCOUVER 8, B.C.
Phone now for your appointment — 732-7446
Calcifying
This is an answer to Rob
Steven's calcifying dilemma over
student representation. Last issue,
he raised some important issues
about student strategies to which
I felt it necessary to respond to.
First, we should be most careful with transplanted Marxist
thought (i.e. the university is not
a microcosm of the capitalist
system) because in a very real
sense both students and faculty
belong to the same powerless class
in our society.
But I completely agree that the
university at present functions,
mostly through a fetishism of
structure (exams, grades, units,
degrees, etc.) and considers its
present appropriation of thought
compartmentalization of ignorance as a valid substitute for
actual learning and understanding.
Second, his central recommendation, that the students
should avoid representation on
(and possible contamination
from) the elusive decision-making
committees hidden' throughout
our Kafkaesque institution, borders on a repressive historicism.
Although it is true that if we
refuse to be represented then we
will be powerless and alienated
from the present academic marketplace, it does not follow that
this alienation will lead to a greater awareness and successful revolution. Industrial societies have
proven to be remarkably stable no
matter how repressive they are.
And although there is a sense of
community among the totally
oppressed, slave revolutions have
been very rare. Hoping for revolutionary change should not necessitate reactionary politics.
Third, as to the assertion that
few students have a vision of
better university ... I have heard
this from conservative faculty
also. This kind of statement ignores the possibility that the present lack of student interest,
awareness and responsibility is
due to precisely the barred doors
to involvement — lack of any
representation. For the Tories the
argument leads to a self-fulling
prophecy. But for revolutionaries
and reformers this mode of
thought paves the road to failure
and disillusionment.
Fourth, student representatives
can be effective at university
See page 6
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WEEKDAYS-9 A.M.-9 P.M.     Sat. 9 A.M.-5 P.M.
NO APPOINTMENT NECESSARY]
327-0461
GRADUATES
Welcome to
This Select Group
For graduates (now alumni) the Young Alumni
Club, The club or "non-club", as we are not the
traditional UBC idea of a "CLUB", provides a
club-pub-drop-in atmosphere at Cecil Green
Park to meet with friends and UBC types.
SUMMER YAC. STARTS
THURSDAY, MAY 3, 1973
SUMMER FUNCTIONS - THURSDAY EVENINGS 8 P.M.-12 MIDNIGHT
FROM MAY THROUGH AUGUST "AT CECIL GREEN PARK.
MEMBERSHIPS ($2.00) OPEN TO ALUMNI AND GRADUATING
STUDENTS. Page 6
THE       UBYSSEY
Friday, March 30, 1973
From page 5
change. Even tokenism proposed
by the present arts faculty commission (which amounts to little
more than liberal window-dressing
over the great marshmallow of
repressive tolerance) provides an
avenue for student to stubbornly
demand action.
Tokenism, and even meaningful representation, may be a
structural compromise as to our
goals, but students need not compromise their position in order to
use these means. Contamination
can work the other way too.
Finally, rather than sink into
inaction over dilemma, I think we
should go at both problems at
once — without compromise. We
should demand maximum representation (in my opinion the present arts faculty offer of 23 is
insulting to the issue and couldn't
be accepted as a solution) but also
at the same time promote a greater understanding of the kind of
university we need. I see no contradiction of dilemma, only a lot
of work ahead.
Jaak Eilau
sociology 4
Divisive
We have been programmed,
scheduled, numbered and filed;
categorized into a pattern based
on specialization. The arts faculty
as an institution seems dedicated
to this end.
Letter
All philosophies on which disciplines within the arts and
sciences are based seem to stem
from a desire to come to some
conception of life. Science probes
the physical range of our existence, and collects this knowledge
in a cumulative form. Arts seeks
to understand the same conflicts
of existence, however they are
resolved in a philosophical sense.
This, under our present system,
tends to operate as a divisive
force.
The arts faculty divides the
totality of life into further distinct subsections, and seems to
ignore the fact that in specific
cases (e.g. honors programs) they
should be again viewed as a whole.
It appears that the perception
of individuals is filtered through a
society based on technology. We
are programed to see life through
images projected over tubes and
wires; forced to see life as it
should be and not as it is. Our
basis of comparison rests in the
tinsel lives of "television personalities" and the scenarios in which
they exist. We strive to have the
virtues of honesty (being able to
tell your best friend he has bad
breath), cleanliness (the panacea
for all social ills is in a can of
Lysol), and social acceptance
("one shot and you're good for
the whole day"). If Alice the
Goon had only been aware of the
"sensuous woman" hidden in the
depths of her tube of Nair, perhaps Mr. Clean would have appre-
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ciated her "true and essential
reality".
In a similar sense, the arts
faculty has striven to emphasize a
series of equally unrealistic goals.
Particularly on the honors program, students are academically
segregated into specialized fields,
with no consideration give (in the
form of appropriate courses) to
achieve some sense of the con-
tinum of humanity which connects every field of study.
A program such as Arts I
would be even more useful on
third or fourth year, or an honors
level. If the purpose of honors
programs is to enable an
individual to achieve an in-depth
awareness of a subject and its
related fields, then the present
system falls short of this mark.
For example, how can one discuss
literature, without touching upon
a meaningful understanding of the
basic philosophy surrounding it,
as well as its presence in film,
theatre, music and painting? At
See page 7
The Paulists are helping to build the earth.
downtown
on the campus
in the parish
in the office
building bridges
working with
the young and old
spreading the
Christian spirit,
praying
celebrating
counseling
North American
priests on the
move throughout
Canada and
the United States.
For more information write:
Father Donald C. Campbell,
RoomlOlCA.
Paulist Fathers.
647 Markham Street
Toronto 174, Ontario
Bank of Montreal
The First Canadian Bank
At the U.B.C. branches of the Bank of Montreal we
want to continue helping you
get your money's worth.
1. IF YOU'RE RETURNING TO SCHOOL NEXT YEAR, TO AVOID
DELAY CAUSED BY CLOSING AND OPENING ACCOUNTS LEAVE
A SMALL BALANCE IN YOUR PRESENT ACCOUNT AND WE WILL
KEEP IT OPEN FOR YOUR RETURN.
IF YOU'RE MOVING TO A NEW CITY OR ACROSS TOWN LET US
TAKE CARE OF YOUR MONEY MOVE - ASK TO HAVE YOUR
ACCOUNT TRANSFERRED TO ONE OF OUR MORE CONVENIENT
BRANCHES.
Congratulations to those students leaving U.B.C.
and to everyone best wishes and thanks
for your patronage over the past year.
\Ne wantyou to get
your money's worth.
it.
Bank of Montreal
The First Canadian Bank
Administration Building Branch: George Peirson, Manager
Student Union Building Branch: Gerry Freeman, Manager Friday, March 30, 1973
THE       UBYSSEY
Page 7
Letters
From page 6
the moment, one must dedicate
themselves to a solitary subject.
And what is even more frustrating, none of the counsellors for
this program have a consistent
point of view.
Specialized programs should
not allow themselves to become a
reflection of the computerized
society, but rather, should emphasize the individual's interests (i.e.
combined programs such as literature and film, etc.). Life is not a
disjointed conglomeration of
separate and unique parts, but a
unity, and should be studied as
such.
LK/SL
arts 2
O.H. JVo. I
I wish to direct the following
to Rene Goldman's comment regarding Open House in the March
23, 1973 issue of The Ubyssey.
I agree, the financial state of
affairs are serious due to the
government cut-back of $4 million to UBC in early 1973. But,
the budgeting and planning phases
for Open House '73 began in mid
1972. Therefore, the financial decisions were based on entirely
different information. Undoubtedly, had the time lag not existed
Open House would have been
closely scrutinized by the administration and given a lower priority
rating than it did.
Secondly, to "abolish" Open
House forever is a foolish attitude
especially when the financial circumstances are subject to short-
run variations. I can, however,
agree to a priority structure which
can permit Open House to exist in
the future providing short-run
funding is available at the moment
of budgeting.
Moving to the purpose of
Open House — no we are not
trying to sell the university rather:
(1) bring students and faculty closer together for a common
project which can improve future
communication between the two
groups,
(2) have students recognize their responsibility to further the quality of education to
create a better society in the
future.
(3) have the community
recognize their responsibility to'
further the quality of education
to create a better society in the
future.
True, it is difficult to portray
the "real life of the university"
however each undergraduate soci-
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Shalal Summer
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Introduction to Sensitivity,
gestalt, massage, fantasy,
bioenergetics. Come meet and
explore  with   us.
YMCA - 955 Burrard Street
8:00 p.m.
Beginning April 4.
$2/evening
ety of student group on campus
can inform the public of the
problems on campus by setting up
booths, pamphlets and speakers.
Ironically, the majority of the
complaining undergraduate societies did not even attempt to
utilize what funds were available
to propose some public education
program to 'clear the air'.
Although the success of Open
House is always questionable since
no quantitative measurements nor
immediate gains are available,
Open House '73 did the best it
could with a shortage of funds
and the sincere enthusiasm of the
participating students.
Finally, and it may come as a
shock to Goldman that exams do
not "lurk around the corner" at
the beginning of March. In fact
students don't think about nor do
anything about exams until the
latter part of March — when the
heat's on!
John Keating
Open House '73 chairman
O.H. No. 2
Concerning the letter, dated
March 23, 1973 by Rene Goldman condemning UBC's Open
House, I feel that Goldman has
missed the entire point and purpose of holding Open House.
As long as taxpayers contribute to the university program it
is their right to see how it is being,
used. Not to say that the general
public cannot wander on campus
and sit in on classes at anytime,
but they won't. Therefore, it is
our responsibility to see that they
have the opportunity.
There is the point that what is
displayed at Open House is not
related to what actually occurs.
Again, I disagree. Most of the
displays I saw during Open House
were relevant, admittedly not to
be seen everyday on campus, but
definitely occurring at various intervals throughout the years of a
student's attendance. At this
point, I might suggest that a Chinese costume and folk dance show
and Japanese tea ceremony and
Koto concert (presented by off-
campus organizations) might be
considered one of those few irrelevant displays. (This display was
presented by Goldman's Asian
studies group).
It has been mentioned by
many students that Open House
gave them the time, opportunity,
and excuse to see much of the
campus that is missed in their
"normal academic travels.
Isolationism is a serious prob
lem on this campus and it must be
faced. We are not only isolated
from the community but also
from other sections of the campus. UBC is too big. We all realize
this but we are not going to start
tearing down valuable buildings in
order to solve the problem. Open
House is presently the only and
thereby the best method of pursuing intra-communal and campus
communications. Until some individual suggests a constructive
manner of handling the situation,
I propose, we the students of UBC
support Open House verbally as
well as physically as much as is
feasible. Good luck Open House
'76.
Wendy Wilson
education 5
Rip-oft
As a student who would like
"to say something about the racist, imperialist, capitalistic society
we live in" (quote from Paul
Knox), I would like to ask the
Alma Mater Society in their struggle against the American corporate giants such as Denny's
restaurants, to raise a banner for
a student cause. For example, I
am told by BCAA that principle
drivers must by law fork-out a
minimum $15 for disability insurance which supposedly entitles
the insured to a maximum $50
weekly benefit should" he or she
be disabled. According to the B.C.
Insurance Act (Schedule 2; section B; subsection 2; part 2) only
a person employed (i.e. actively
engaged in employment for wages
or profit) and employed six
months out of the preceding 12
months can collect this $50 benefit. Further, section 250G (2) of
the same Act, ironically under the
title of "discriminative rates",
prohibits students as a member of
a society to be made an exception
to the payment of the mandatory
disability fee.
I realize this must represent a
service to the students and is
definitely void of 'political' potential as a service but maybe you,
the AMS, could list it under
'things to do'.
John Keating
commerce 3
Boring
At the risk of seeming boring,
I find it necessary to repeat a
certain allegation which I have
made upon previous occasions,
including during student council
See page 8
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NOTICE
To All Faculty
During the period of April 13 to
April 24, 1973 the Bookstore will
buy back used books for resale in
September.
IN ORDER TO INSURE STUDENTS THE
OPPORTUNITY TO RECYCLE AS MANY OF
THEIR CURRENT TEXTBOOKS AS POSSIBLE'
THE BOOKSTORE ASKS YOU TO SUBMIT
YOUR LISTS OF REQUIRED FALL TEXTS BY
APRIL 12.
Your co-operation at this time will help
us to provide an adequate amount of
books for your classes well in advance
of September demands.
the bookstore
University of British Columbia
Tel. 228-4741
Saturday — April 14, 8:30 p.m.
War Memorial Gym, UBC
TICKETS:     $4.00 Advance. $5.00 at the door.
Available   at   the  THUNDERBIRD  SHOP  in  SUB
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SOUND BY KELLY—DEYONG Page 8
THE      U BYSSEY
Friday, March 30, 1973
Letters
From page 7
meetings. On these occasions, the
reaction to my remarks was dead
silence, followed by a changing of
the subject.
My contention is that the main
function of university fees is to
preserve the university as a
playground for the children of the
rich, and to keep out the poor. Of
course, the occasional poor
student does manage to slip in,
but this generally means placing
quite a heavy mortgage on his
future earnings, as well as giving a
bank the right to sue the relative
or friend who acted as guarantor
for loans. Such a situation often
breeds a kind of desperate
ambition, where a person is
willing to do just about anything
in order to succeed. People change
their names, they change their
habit patterns,1 they expound
ideas which are popular with
certain key professors — and,
above all, they never loss an
opportunity to denounce the
working class from which they
came. In this way, a working-class
student can sometimes work his
way up to a junior administrative
post, before he hits his head on
the ceiling.
The upper administrative
posts, of course, are occupied by
representatives of the industrial
and financial concerns that
control this area. Their main
concern, naturally, is to create an
elite of administrators who will be
skilled at keeping the working
class quiet and confused. In this
regard, the institution of
"student" government has
traditionally played a very
effective role. Of course, the
working-class student can get
himself elected to the AMS
council and can even bring up
motions - but usually not before
a few committee meetings and
piles of irrelevant paperwork.
Meanwhile you are desperately
trying to keep up with your
studies, while dimly beginning to
realize that there is something
vaguely unequal in this
arrangement — because other
members of the council, apart
from not taking any courses, are
also getting paid for it.
Still, it may be argued that the
working-class students is
"privileged" to be able to attend
university, instead pf being forced
into the same pattern of
mind-and-body-destroying labor
that his parents and relatives are
doomed to. Stick at it, we are
constantly told by our so-called
"progressive" professors and
fellow students, and someday
you'll be able to help those who
are less fortunate. So you take
their advice and remain silent,
studying hard and waiting for the
great breakthrough to come. But
after 10 years or so, that carrot in
front of your nose begins to smell
a little bit rotten. After endless
hours of training, including maybe
a degree or two, you find yourself
with no career at all; in fact, you
are closer than ever to starving to
death on the street, or perhaps in
a welfare line-up.
But, it may be suggested, the
university is a place for developing
your critical intellectual
capacities, etc., etc., in order to
make you a "better person", and
not necessarily to prepare you for
any particular job. If a job is your
primary interest, they tell you,
then you should go to a trade
school. This is fine advice, except
for the fact that no trade school is
interested in anybody who has
spent a lot of time at university,
especially if you're now close to
30. They tell you that, as far as
they are concerned, you already
have a career. This is especially
true if you have a degree. As far as
prospects for employment are
concerned, a BA is worse than a
criminal record.
So what is the poor
30-year-old graduate student
supposed to do? Perhaps he may
be given the occasional small
scholarship, but for the most part,
he must rely on loans. The major
part of this money, of course, is
eaten away by fees. Consequently,
the student is forced to
continually degrade himself by
begging for handouts at the
president's office. Sometimes he is
successful, but far too often the
answer is "Where do you think
we're going to get the money
from son?" Meanwhile, the
collection agency pirates are
sending you threatening letters,
going so far as to threaten a
lawsuit against your father, if he
has signed a form promising to be
your guarantor.
Such persecution is
intolerable, especially since most
people believe that a graduate
student really is, in some kind of
"privileged" position. What this
really amounts to is a very
skilfully perpetuated form of
fraud, although of course there is
no court in the country where
you could level such a charge. All
we can do is request the
introduction of a certain degree of
honesty into the university
system.
In the first place, we should
get rid of the mythical distinction
between "study" and "work" by
paying wages, imposing
production quotas, etc. Because
twe live in a society where the
main occupation is working in a
factory, the university should
reflect this by becoming a factory
itself. The factory owners should
tell the university executive
exactly how many employees
they need and in what fields. This
shouldn't be any problem because
basically the same people own
both institutions. In this way, we
could avoid the human waste of
training people for jobs that no
longer exist or perhaps never did
and never will exist. One recent
example of this type of abuse,
particularly painful for me
because it concerns my own
(Slavonics) department, is the
propaganda campaign carried out
in the local newspapers by a
certain globe-trotting politician to
the effect that we need more
Russian-language specialists; so
you'd think there'd be more
money poured into this field,
wouldn't you? In actual fact, the
amount of money available each
year is about half of what there
was the year before. The result of
this is a kind of "smfling-face
purge", where professors, some of
them highly-qualified, are
bounced out on their ear;
graduate students, on the other
hand, are encouraged to stick
around as long as they are willing
to work for no pay.
So what we have become is
something you could call an
academic scab. And what is a scab
gOod for except to' become a
bigger and worse scab? What can
we learn at university except to
become bigger and worse traitors
to the working class?
A modest suggestion. Why not
post armed guards at the gates of
this university-factory, to tell all
the starry-eyed would-be scholars
from the working-class that
institutions of "higher" learning
are meant only for the "higher"
classes of society? This would go a
long way towards clarifying the
true position of "our" university
in "our" society.
Peter Hlookoff
ex-grad rep
Rebuke
Regarding your hot flash in
Friday's Ubyssey entitled, "Abort
report': Aside from the contracted, 'snappy' form of abortion,
which seems to indicate a certain
lack of seriousness, on your part,
regarding the abortion law repeal
movement, your reference to the
second cross-Canada conference
to repeal the abortion laws as a
'Trotskyite' meet' is incorrect.
The Canadian women's coalition'
to repeal abortion laws cross-cuts
all political beliefs and women
from all political affiliations be
long to this organization. To classify all women as being Trotskyite
in their political leanings because
they belong to the coalition presupposes a great deal and does not
accurately reflect either the membership or the sentiments of a
large percentage of the women
involved. The coalition desires the
support of any organization which
adheres to abortion law repeal and
urges all women to consider this
an important issue around which
to organize.
Joanne Nakonechny
co-chairwoman
UBC abortion
action committee
Rip off
STUDENT-RAILPASS
Th* way to •••Enropa without f«eliiia;lik«atouriat.
Student-Railpass Is valid in Austria, Belgium, Denmark,
France, Germany, Holland, Italy, Luxembourg, Norway,
Portugal, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland.
Eurailpass, Box 2148, Toronto 1, Ontario
Please send me your free Student-Railpass folder order
form. □
Or your free Eurailpass folder with railroad map. Q
Name_
StreeL
City__
Zone_
_Prov._
So you plan to spend the
Summer in Europe this year. Great.
Two things are mandatory. A ticket
to Europe. And a Student-Railpass.
The first gets you over there, the
second gives you unlimited Second
Class rail travel for two months for a
modest $150 in Austria, Belgium,
Denmark, France, Germany,
Holland, Italy, Luxembourg,
Norway, Portugal, Spain, Sweden,
and Switzerland! All you need to
qualify is to be a full-time student up
to 25 years of age, registered at a
North American school, college or
university.
And the trains of Europe are
a sensational way to travel. Over
100,000 miles of track links cities,
towns and ports all over Europe. The
trains are fast (some over 100 mph),
frequent, modern, clean, convenient
and very comfortable. They have to
be. So you'll meet us on ourtrains. It
really is the way to get to know
Europeans in Europe.
But there's one catch. You
must buy your Student-Railpass in
North America before you go.
They're not on sale in Europe
because they are meant strictly for
visitors to Europe—hence the
incredibly low price. Of course if
you're loaded you can buy a regular
Eurailpass meant for visitors of all
ages. It gives you First Class travel if
that's what you want.
Either way if you're going
to zip off to Europe, see a Travel
Agent before you go, and in the
meantime, rip off the coupon. It
can't hurt and it'll get you a better
time in Europe than you ever thought
possible.
Prices quoted in U.S. dollars.
UBC M 27
Ripping-off Europe?
Student Railpass available from AOSC.
Association of Student Councils
Room 100B, Student Union Bldg. Univ. of B.C., Vancouver (604) 224-0111
Also available: student flights to Europe and within
Europe, car rentals, international ID cards, tours,
student hostels and jobs abroad. All at student prices Friday, March 30, 1973
THE       UBYSSEY
Page 9
The UBC show — all of it for you
By VAUGHN PALMER
Well, they all made quite a
show of it.
The Alma Mater Society,
campus politicos, the
administration — they all put
on a real slam-bang, knock'em
down, drag'em out circus and
just think, it was all for you —
all 18,000 of you.
This year campus politics
polarized neatly between two
groups, one emphasizing
services and cooperation with
the administration, the other
politics and confrontation.
The first term belonged to
the service-oriented Students'
Caucus as they planned a
new Pit, a covered swimming
pool and purchase of the
administration-owned food
services in SUB.
In the second term, the
Democratic Students'
Caucus dominated, battling
faculties and administration
alike in attempts to gain
student representation in
faculties.
After cruel students elected
four caucus and three coalition
members to the new executive
which took office this month,
fireworks seemed likely, but
despite internal bickering both
groups united on plans to slow
or freeze AMS growth,
restructure       the        AMS
bureaucracy    and    openly
challenge the administration.
The administration had a
slow start this year but by this
month prepared a grand finale
demonstrating once again
their contempt for  students.
The first move was the
announcement of a 10 per cent
rent hike for the student
residences. It then flatly
refused to carry out obligations
under the lease of SUB to the
AMS and indicated its
reluctance to collect fee levies
from graduate and part time
students.
While next year's UBC
budget allocation from the
provincial government is
several million below what the
administration would like, it
finished two brand spanking
new building projects which
may satisfy desires for awhile.
In September the Wally
Gage residences opened to
1,200 students with ridiculous
monthly rents of $450 per tiny
six bedroom suite. By the way,
that 10 per cent rent hike will
go toward paying for the
residences.
The new Sedgwick
underground library opened in
January, with space for 200,000
books, but the librarian's
report submitted to senate in
March nonetheless says 50,000
main library books will go into
storage unless space is found.
Two committee reports
revealed things we've
suspected for a long time.
The status of wpmen at UBC
report, released in January,
found whether it be in jobs,
promotions, education or
salaries, women are
discriminated against at UBC.
The administration
announced formation of a
committee to study the report.
A report submitted to senate
in October revealed the
average UBC student comes
from a high-income,
professional, urban, upper
middle class background.
The administration replied
by saying the university is
open to everyone.
The Students' Coalition
executive, which was elected
in February, 1972 promised to
work through proper channels
to reach the goals they wanted
with the administration.
Reflecting on the defeat of an
AMS fee increase in spring,
1972 the coalition decided, in
the words of president Doug
Aldridge, "to generate
additional revenue by
providing extra services
rather than raising fees."
This plan included scrapping
the money-losing SUB listening ■
lounge, purchase of the
administration owned-food
services, and far-reaching
plans to get convention
business, build a theatre
complex, an underground
shopping mall and a parking
lot.
In December a group of arts
students, inspired by student
struggles in Saskatchewan,
Ontario, and Newfoundland
invaded an arts faculty
meeting and asked profs to
discuss student representation
faculty committees.
The faculty responded by
adjourning the meeting.
Eventually the faculty set up
a committee to study the
matter, which in March
recommended token
representation   for   students.
A more important victory for
representation was scored in
February when a coalition of
progressive faculty and
student senators gained
approval in principle of student
representation at all faculty
levels. While the approval
limited participation to
academic matters and ensured
faculty a majority, it was
stronger than many profs
would      have      preferred.
Despite probable efforts by
some faculties to back track on
the senate action as student
AMS bylaws violated, says Loomes
By DAVID MARS
Alma Mater Society president Brian
Loomes admitted Thursday the
possibility the spirit of the AMS
constitution is being violated by the
•playing of word games.
He said because the AMS constitution
prohibits the executive from paying
itself salaries, members will receive
about $6,000 "honoraria" instead.
In addition, acting general manager
David Dick will receive $1,000 for his
services for two months' work. Loomes
said: "David did not use his office as a
treasurer to appropriate the job of
general manager, it fell to him."
The AMS constitution does provide
for honoraria for some executives in the
form of fee rebates, but these total at
most $428.
He added the constitution could be
amended to provide for paying salaries
to AMS executives at a general meeting.
The executives may be working in a
deserted SUB if the board of governors
refuses to collect the prorated AMS fee
from the summer session and evening
students. However, if summer session
students agree to pay a prorated AMS
fee, the AMS will "probably open the
building even though the fees would not
be collected until the following year,"
Loomes said.
If the building is closed during the
summer only the executive and groups
who have rented rooms will have access
to the building. The cafeteria in SUB has
its own outside access and if the building
is closed the cafeteria will not be
affected, Loomes said.
Food services director Ruth Blair
said Thursday the north side cafeteria
will remain open regardless because it
serves conventions. "As far as the south
side cafeteria is concerned, we will have
to wait and see if the building is closed
before we take any decision."
Any SUB closure would last from
May 1 to Aug. 26.
The AMS, meanwhile, is taking the
university to arbitration under the
Arbitration act for failure to maintain
and supervise the building properly.
S>UB's new Pit is expected to be open
in September, but Loomes said it may
open early in August to work out any
bugs.
"If there is enough demand the old Pit
will be open for summer session
students, but only if it can operate on a
breakeven basis," Loomes said.
However, he said, that is conditional
upon the summer session students
approving a referendum on AMS fees.
Downstairs in SUB — where ex-coordinator Bob Angus was earlier going
to put in a "shopping centre" — about
$8,000 is being spent to develop new
quarters for the outdoor clubs. Loomes
said the outdoors clubs worked for the
Pit referendum because they were
assured they would get another room.
Students who want to travel abroad
are being hassled by the federal
government.
AMS vice-president Gordon
Blankstein said any flights from the
Association of Student Councils travel
office leaving after June will have to pay
substantially more.
"All of the student organizations in
Canada are sending telegrams to Ottawa
protesting the new regulations and
hopefully the government will modify
the rate increases." If the government
does not, those students already booked
on flights leaving after June will go from
Seattle.
The offices will remain in Vancouver
regardless of the government's decision,
he said.
Blankstein may be hired by the
student-faculty pool committee for four
months this summer but only if the
board of governors agrees to collect the
$5 pool levy. The BoG is refusing to
collect the levy until a site has been
chosen for the pool.
The administration wants to locate
the pool at the south end of campus while
the AMS wants it near Empire pool,
Blankstein said.
Physical plant has criticized the
committee because it has not consulted
experts in the field, but Blankstein said
physical education professor Jack
Pomfret, a committee member, is one of
the top experts on the subject of pools
and space allocation.
"The physical plant wants 70,000
square feet of ground space for the pool,
while the Munich pool only has 64,000
square feet," Blankstein said.
The physical plant is being left out of
the pool designing and it is doing its best
to obstruct the student committee, he
said.
Blankstein said students are going
directly to the BoG because physical
plant "does not know what is going on."
The student committee is looking at
plans to connect SUB, Empire pool and
the new pool to build a giant recreational
complex.
Before the pool is started, however,
Blankstein is drafting a management
agreement to present to the BoG.
The university will be responsible for
maintaining the pool and any possible
surplus funds will be returned to the pool
in,the same way that funds are now used
at the Thunderbird sports complex,
Blankstein said.
Much of the campus, meanwhile, is
closing down for the summer and other
parts are changing to new summer
hours. Speakeasy will be open only until
the end of April unless unless grants are
received from the federal Opportunities
For Youth program or other
organizations, a spokesman for
Speakeasy said.
All administration services for
students other than the library will move
their opening and closing hours ahead
half an hour, probably in early May,
until the day after Labor Day. The
student co-op bookstore in SUB is closing
at the end of April and the libraries have
new hours for Easter and the summer.
Main library and Sedgewick will be
closed weekends in May and June and at
5 p.m. every evening except Tuesday
and Wednesday when they remain open
until 10 p.m. During summer session the
library will only close Sundays, but will
be closed Saturdays as well after Aug.
18.
Most other campus libraries will be
closed every weekend during the
summer, except for the math library
which will be open four hours Saturdays
during summer session.
Anyone left on campus who can't get
into SUB and becomes confused by the
library hours should give up and go to
the beach.
senator Svend Robinson has
acknowledged, minimum
guidelines have been set.
The group which organized
the representation battle,
including grad student senator
Stan Persky and arts
undergraduate president Brian
Loomes,        formed the
Democratic Students' Caucus
in January and announced
plans to contest the upcoming
AMS executive elections.
The split executive which
occurred as a result of the
February elections was united
thanks to rather poor timing by
the adminstration.
Despite efforts by coalition
members to work through
proper channels in a dispute
over administration refusal to
provide adequate
maintenance, cleaning and
security in SUB as specified in
the    building     lease.
At the same time the
administration indicated its
reluctance to collect a
proposed fee levy from
graduate and part-time
students. The levy was part of
a coalition plan to cover a
projected $7,000 deficit in the
1973-74 budget.
The coalition responded by
renouncing the value of
working through proper
channels and united with DSC
rivals to confront the
administration.
The executive response to
the administration moves was
preparation of legal action to
envoke arbitration in the lease
dispute and a plan to close SUB
during   the   summer.
Meanwhile, rising costs of
administering the AMS
bureaucracy were complicated
by the need for three general
managers  in  six  months.
At the annual general
meeting, which for the first
time in four years gained the
2,000 student quorum (by
moving into the SUB
cafeteria), the AMS gained
approval of its plan for
membership in the new
National Union of Students.
The AMS' one foray into off-
campus politics — involvement
in the boycott and strike
against Denny's restaurants —
ended in humiliation as threats
of legal action and punitive
damages forced them to
withdraw all but moral support
for strikers.
Other scandals included the
November firing of two UBC
radio CYVR disc jockeys for
slander, the October closing of
the Thunderbird shop for
inadequate fire escapes, and
the board of governors refusal
to approve a $5 student fee to
pay for the covered swimming
pool students approved last
October.
In the latter case the board's
refusal is based on the lack of a
site for the structure, but as
AMS vice-president Gordon
Blankstein says, part of the
problem in picking the site is
the administration insistence
on a site on the south campus
as opposed to the student-
approved site in the vicinity of
the SUB.
Last summer Canada's
finest student newspaper was
cut to one issue per week from
the three of the 1971-72 year but
it was raised to two per week in
September.
So that's a wrap-up of the
circus this year.
Next year's now promises to
be as big, though according to
some sources, only 15,000 of
you will be here to enjoy it. Page  10
THE       UBYSSEY
Friday, March 30, 1973
Classroom report
ByMOBEHADERAS
Rare are the courses which
one can unreservedly
recommend to friends. Rarer
still is the class which lives up
to its recommendation.
Geology 150 — earth science
for engineers — taught by
geology professor R. E.
Kucera, is one of those unusual
experiences.
Geology 150 is a required
three-unit course in first year
engineering and forestry, and
is open to students from other
faculties by special
permission.
The course is designed to
introduce fundamental
principles of geology while
stressing their implications for
engineering and other applied
sciences.
The material should be both
interesting and valuable to
environmentalists or to
students who just want to gain
some understanding of the
earth they inhabit.
Kucera is a downright
exciting teacher. His special
talent lies in relating abstract
principles to important
practical problems.
Kucera sets the stage for
the drier basic material by
describing some classical
engineering failures based on
ignorance of geology: dams,
bridges and buildings which
collapsed, reservoirs which
silted-in or dried up, highways
destroyed by landslides which
might have been predicted.
Primed with an interest in
understanding these problems,
one readily accepts the
necessary grounding in
mineralogy, the geologic cycle,
and structural geology.
Not that this is boring
either: Kucera enlivens it with
skilled pedagogy and frequent
digressions to topics of current
interest such as geothermal
energy or the recent Helgaf jell
eruption.
He makes excellent use of
anecdotes from his own
geologic research, and of slides
taken in various parts of the
world. Nature lovers may find
themselves looking at geologic
structures in a new light after
seeing his pictures.
In the second term,
emphasis shifts to practical
problems. Topics include
prediction and possible control
of earthquakes, landslides, and
slumping, stream mechanics,
glaciation and shoreline
processes.
Kucera increases the
interest of these topics by
referring to local examples:
the failure of engineers to
consider landslide problems
along the Hope-Princeton
Highway or in the Mica Dam
reservoir, potential
consequences of building
Moran Dam, and the erosion of
the Point Grey cliffs.
His case history of the
migration of glaciers over
Point Grey en route to the
freeways of Seattle provides an
interesting example of the
Pleistocene roots of American
cultural domination of Canada.
Kucera stimulates
numerous questions and never
hesitates to interrupt his
lectures to deal with them. He
is readily accessible outside of
class.
With such an excellent
lecture course, it seems a pity
that labs are so uninspiring.
UBC's dollars have apparently
been steered into the
construction of a spanking new
building at the expense of
teaching materials or staff
which might provide a more
valuable learning experience.
If Kucera's lectures are a
model of up-to-date,
"relevant" teaching, the labs
are unfortunately just the
opposite.
This year's text, Physical
Geology, by Longwell, Flint
and Sanders (1969) is adequate
but unexciting.
An interested student might
gain more by investing the
time in special readings such
as the recent Scientific
American collection on
Continental   Drift,   since   the
lectures   cover   the   basic
material admirably.
There are two lecture
examinations, which account
for two-thirds of the total
mark. Understanding of basic
principles and practical
examples are stressed, so a
student who is interested in
geology should not find them
troublesome.
The rest of the course mark
is based on two lab exams and
an assignment. Non-
engineering students may find
this part more difficult and
unpleasant.
On balance, geology 150 can
be highly recommended to
students who wish to learn
some basic geology either for
pure interest or for practical
application, for example to
environmental issues. For
those with only a casual
interest in geology, it is
certainly worth auditing. Many
a professor could learn some
useful pedagogic skills by
sitting in on a few lectures as
well.
ROYAL BANK
THE HELPFUL BANK
TRANSFER OF ACCOUNTS
ARRANGED TO ANYWHERE!
GENERAL BANKING SERVICES
University Area Branch - Dave Stewart, Mgr.
10th & SASAMAT 224-4348
HILLTOP GULF
SERVICE
-  JOE     MIZSAK -
Tune-Up Specialists For All Makes
Specializing in Repairs to
JAPANESE & EUROPEAN CARS
All Repairs Guaranteed — 4000 Miles or 90 Days
Student Special: 20% Discount off Labor Charges
4305 W. 10 Ave. at Discovery 224-7212
HONG KONG CHINESE FOODS
Just One Block from Campus in the Village
WE SER VEA UTHENTIC CHINESE FOOD
A T REASONABLE PRICES
EAT IN -TAKEOUT
We have enlarged our dining room to offer you
better service at no increase in prices!
Starting April 2 we are open for lunch from 11:30-1:30 Mon.-Fri.
Open Every Day fr^m 4:30 p.m. to 11:30 p.m.
5732 University Blvd. * Phone 224-6121
ExportA
CANADA'S FINEST CIGARETTE
WARNING: The Department of National Health and Welfare advises that danger to health
increases with amount smoked-
Service d'education permanente, Ecole Francaise D'Ete
CP. 6128, Montreal 101, Quebec, Canada
Learn French
Where French is at home
Ecole Francaise d'ete 1973
July 2nd to August 10, 1973
l'Universite de montreal
In the largest French speaking university on the
continent, you learn French where French is at home.
methods
The latest audio visual methods are used with beginners:
advanced students work in seminars.
advanced level
Special attention is given to English speaking French
teachers; to students of French literature and to
people wishing to know more about Quebec.
living accommodations
Rooms are available for men and women in students'
residences or with French speaking families.
activities
French-Canadian life discovered through folksinging
evenings, theatre visits, excursions into the typical
Quebec countryside and sightseeing walks through
historic old Montreal. Facilities for sports activities.
scholarships available
L'Universite de Montreal offers 8 scholarships of
$275 each. Four of these scholarships will be awarded
to English speaking students and four to students
of French origin residing outside the Province of
Quebec.
L'Universite de Montreal is also a participating institution in
the Federal-Provincial bursary program.
Booklet on request.
PETER FONDA
Show Times: 12:15
2:10, 4:05, 6:00
7:50, 9:45
Coronet
151   GRANVILLI
685-6828 MATURE: Some nudity and sex — R. W. McDonald, B.C. Dir.
56 hours to share
the love of a lifetime.
* Robert Wise Production
two People
"THE BEST AND MOST ORIGINAL
AMERICAN COMEDY OF 1972"
—Vincent Canby, N.Y. Times
Vogoe
911 GRANVILLE
683-3434
Neil Simon's
The     y
Heartbreak Kid
An Elaine May Film
CYBILL SHEPHERD • JEANNE BERLIN
I Show Times: 12:15
2:30, 4:40, 6:55
I 9:10
SHOWTIMES:
7:30 — 9:30
Dunbar
224*7252
DUNBAR at 30th
"I WANT TO BE ME!"
The forlorn cry of Wednesday's child.
WEDNESDAYS
CHILD
TECHNICOLOR*  .■K*
SLIME is money — Ben Franklin.
Little did the bespectacled phrasemaker of the American revolution
realize the repercussions of those words he penned so long ago.
For in 1923, rising young press industrialist Henry Douche was looking
around for the title of his new publication when he happened upon a copy of
the epigrams of the sage of Philadelphia.
Douche was a man of vision and on that spring day fifty years ago inspired
by that phrase, he created the globe-spanning publication SLIME is today.
But popular as the publication is, particularly under the aegis of slick,
enterprising young Henry Douche III, a direct descendent of the old man
himself, many still ask what SLIME is all about.
On the occasion of the magazine's fiftieth anniversary, the editors decided
last week to reveal SLIME's basic style criteria, thus aiding those thousands
who fail to understand the basic message of what has truly become both in
fact and in name The Weakly Newsmagazine. (SLIME, March 30).
The massive document, left off at our New York offices last week is a
rambling narrative, weak in parts but generally an excellent summation of
what SLIME has come to be over the past fifty years.
As the document notes in its introduction "SLIME is America's oracle. It
is never wrong and as such it knows everything. Aspiring reporters should
remember to never give the reader the
impression he is telling anything less than
the whole truth, as revealed by SLIME."
The guide reminds prospective writers
this self-proclaimed omnipotence has its
advantages remarking, "do not be
particularly concerned with minor details
and facts. It is unlike the readership of
SLIME to question anything appearing in the
magazine."
SLIME's concept of its readership as
unwashed, undereducated, aspiring neer-
well-to-do's desperately desiring
sophistication but unwilling to work for it is
quickly delved into in the fast-paced
document.
"SLIME covers everything, or at least
appears to, and anything not covered is
unimportant. The digest aspect of the
publication leads to an amount of
superfluousness and a continual scratching
of the surface."
As the document itself proclaims:
"SLIME is a review of the arts for
electricians, a physics texts for poets, a
political digest for hockey players, and the
sports illustrated of the socially aware set."
"Remember," adds the guide, "you will
be writing for people who really aren't
interested in your subject material — if they
were they'd be out reading Hockey News, or
The Canadian Forum, or The Ubyssey —
some publication that treats both its subject
and its readership on a basis of respect.''
"When writing, stick to the sweeping
generalization, the gross oversimplification,
and   the   trite   anecdote   which   diverts
DOUCHE REVEALS STYLE attention from the crux of the issue."
"Never hesitate to talk down to the people who might be reading what you
write. This can be done through,a number of key techniques some of which
are: Didactic guides to pronunciation (example: Nixon, (Nik-sun), useless
appositives, (Pierre Elliot Turdeau, the Prime Minister of Canada, a large
nation of 20 million people, etc.), ridiculous cross-references to other SLIME
articles (when man landed on the moon (SLIME: July 15, 1969), or the usual
ugly Americanisms (the sun is 93 million miles from the earth, a distance
equal to the number of potatoes eaten in Idaho last Tuesday).
Surprisingly the guide avoids pointing out traditional SLIME style points
like the use of Homeric epithet, back to front sentence structure, the
insistence on having each story based on something happening last week,
beginning most articles with pointless anecdotes; but perhaps its authors felt
these things would be obvious to even the most cursory of SLIME fanciers.
An interesting appendix is provided detailing the magazine's belief
concerning things political. The short treatise substantiates the claim of
many that SLIME remains below the surface of a pseudo-liberal facade, a
very conservative proponent of the American Dream.
"Writers," cautions the appendix, "should always look for an angle
involving the achiever, preferably a charismatic, dynamic he-man."
As this marvellous little document reveals, SLIME remains infatuated
with the American dream, with Horatio Alger, and superman, and all those
pioneers of the old west. Their ideal man-figure demonstrated through
countless articles is hardly different from the central figure of Ayn Rand's
novels: The self-serving, self-obsessed man, who we lesser beings should not
really obstruct with such things as social structure, rules and regulations.
The SLIME man is no doubt the man who will save the world, carried forth
on his charisma, ingenuity, dynamism and of course thousands of adoring
followers, themselves hopped up on the torrid prose of American's weakly
newsmagazine. " f^i / ,n ^-
■   m*J -v   '       ' 1 *
Cover story
34
Publishers Letter
2
Canada
3
Other Stuff
5
More
6
And More
7
Steamfitting
8
The World
9
Death
10
The Moon
27
The Universe
66
The Cosmos
157
Millstones
122
Show Biz
35
Scum
57
Underwear
58
Leathers
89
The Presidency
89
Pocket Fluff
32
The Drips
65
Pat Nixon
65
Necrophilia
72
Secretions
55
Nostrils
88
The Ubyssey
57
Poo-Poo
2
Reweaving
86
Pederasts
40
Mooning
45
Pressed Hams
43
Meat loaf
44
Gordon Blankstein
77
[^ I     I I     V^l    W^       THE WEAKLY
kJJJllTXJJ    NEWSMAGAZINE
Flounders: Henry R. Douche 1898-1867
St. Augustine 1066-1098
Editor-in-Chief: Flypaper O'Swit
Chairman of the Bored: Schtubblefise McSillyputty
Precedent: Oncemore Midarling
Chairman of Executive Committee: Fetus Afterbirth
Vise-Precedent-lnternational: Esutros Buggerbrains
Editorial Defector: Simon The Likeable
Group Vice Precedent: Cynthia the Crisp
Vice Chairman: Conan the Barbarian
Managing Editor: Stoke am Trent
Guy Who Writes All This Stuff: Henry Douche XVIII
Last, No Shit, Really Last Editor: Henrietta Douche
Down   on   Nicknames
Sir/I note in your page 3 story you
refer to the Justice Minister of our great
nation as "Chick". May I express my
shocking distaste for this unwarranted
familiarity with our national leaders.
Surely a publication such as yours can
avoid this sort of thing.
"Booby" Bourassa
Quebec City, P.Q.
Hot  Rats
Sir/
I deeply resent your article on March 23
where you describe my international
chain of motels as "bourgeois
flophouses". My hotels have always
prided themselves as being more than
just the average roadside motel, and I
think the rather exorbitant prices they
charge illustrates this fact.
I also must take exception to your
statement that "the rats in the Hilton
hotels are so big, they have to bend over to
go through the doorway." Well, I have
documented reports that state beyond a
reasonable doubt that the rats in my
hotels are not nearly as big as you
describe them.
Conrad Hilton,
Beverly Hills, Calif.
Boring   Eagles
Sir/
As a concerned American I find it
deeply and personally distasteful for
SLIME to refer to the American eagle as
boring. (SLIME, March 14). In my
humble opinion the sight of an eagle
soaring and shitting its way across the
countryside is a majestic site matched
only by the sound of the Assembled
Multitude and the Mormon Tabernacle
Choir holding middle C as the sun sets.
The American eagle is a symbol of the
strength and unity of our great country
and I think this sentiment, which is
echoed by many Americans, should be
properly displayed in the pages of SLIME.
The boredom of the eagle is only a
reflection of the boredom of our political
leaders.
Yours
Melvin Humpfinger
Eagle Scout leader
Piora Illinois
Man   of  the   Year
Sir/
Since I am writing this letter on a
coconut shell with a rusty Bowie knife,
this letter will probably not arrive for
several months. Nevertheless, I would
like to nominate Franklin Delano
Roosevelt for SLIME Man of the Year.
John F. Kennedy
God Knows Where,
South Pacific
The Cover: Blow-up of smile button on 30% screen by JonesArt.
SLIME, MARCH 30, 1973 SLIME
THE WEAKLY NEWSMAGAZINE
March 30, 1973     Vol. 202 No. 10
*■•* i".*s.y..   ■
THE REALM
Turner over The Hi
One day, about 20 or so years ago now, a tall boy
moving into manhood stooped and gracefully
retrieved a football fumbled during a tied exhibition
football game. And although it was only an exhibition
game, it meant the world to 10,000 breathless and
eager fans crowding Thunderbird Stadium at the
University of British Columbia, Canada; for it was
against their longtime rivals, the Simon Fraser
University Clansmen. They wanted a win, and this
young man, shoulders padded to Superman-size,
could give it to them. Gazelle-like, he leaped to the
goal line. The fans watched. Would he make it in
time? Would the game be saved?
Last week the old pigskin tosser was at it again,
this time in the political arena as he rose to make his
fiftieth speech in the House of Commons, this one on
Canada's disappearing tundra.
Twenty years after that historic football game
John Turner, fortyish, the Justice Minister in the
cabinet of Canadian Prime Minister Pierre Elliott
Turdeau (Too-do) is once again seen as the man who
can lead his team to victory.
Turdeau, once a star quarterback himself, is now
fumbling the political football, particularly in regard
to the reverse upward trend of the unemployment
figures and those in the know in Ottawa have come to
see Turner as the man who will lead the ruling
Liberal party, many points behind at half time, to a
new renaissance.
Slime interviewer Ramona Redunzio journeyed to
the Vancouver Athletic Club last week to talk to those
who knew Turner best and perhaps discover the
secret behind the man who wields so much power on
The Hill, as Canadian's jokingly refer to their seat of
government.
Both friends and accomplices alike, Redunzio
discovered, had one opinion of the man, and this a
glowing one of their respect for his originality and
daring, his grasp of the precepts of liberal
democracy and those of democratic liberalism.
Longtime friend and confidant from the days with
the Thunderbirds of the fifties, Peter Arbuthnot, who
still refers to Turner by his boyhood name of Chick,
gratefully acknowledges the man who appointed him
under assistant to the assistant Justice Minister
(Pierre Patois (Pa-twa.)
"We knew, we all knew, from the time he was a
fledgling split end (for a description of football
positions and their functions, : See SLIME, May 1972)
that great things were in store for this man. His
smallest actions betokened greatness to come.
Arbuthnot remembers the time they were
crowded into a steamy dressing room at Swanguard
Stadium in Toronto. The game was over, they had
won by a score of 34-20 and although Chick — they
called him Chick then, as all his intimate friends still
call him now —- had played brilliantly, as usual, the
win was mostly due to superb playing by tight end
Peter Gzowsky, a master of the backward leap and
sideways parry style of play. They saw from the
moment Chick entered the dressing room that he had
something planned, for there was a rapier-sharp
glint in those sword-like grey-blue eyes that
promised action, and plenty of it — as his opponents
in the House (as the intelligentsia affectionately call
the House of Commons have come to know. Smoothly
he bent and picked up a sopping towel from the floor
and quietly he walked behind Gzowsky, just that
moment emerged from the shower, deftly with a
smooth wrist action, eliciting a sharp crack and a
startled scream from Gzowsky, he slapped him with
the towel across the buttocks.
"We knew from that moment on, his rise to
greatness would be fluid, quick and aweful."
So say his friends, associates, subordinates. So
says a SLIME story (SLIME, May 1970). It is what
executive assistant Patois wryly calls "Chick's
snowballing effect." Yet it is not Turner the snowball
that concerns Patois, a dedicated bureaucrat in the
best sense of the word who by his very existence as
Turner's top assistant shows the man's tolerance for
the French fact in Canada; it is Turner the politician,
Turner the concerned man of the people who
interests Patois. Speaking in a cultured Canadian
voice, showing by intonation only his childhood in
Montreal's Outremont, Patois describes the policies
and beliefs leading to this rise:
"How Chick got to this position doesn't concern
me my Men'; he is here and I have never borne his
rise close inspection. I doubt if I or anyone could."
But what concerns him in his day to day life on the
hill, (a reference to the hill on which the houses of
SLIME, MARCH 30, 1973
Parliament sit in Ottawa; (it is a common
colloquial expression), is what this man
thinks, what he does with the power that
is his. And what he will do with the power
that some day will be his.'
In a word, he believes in continuing
growth of this country, in the continuing
exploration of her riches to the good of all
people; for this man is not parochial; he
believes in giving riches to all seeking
them, regardless of which side of that
imaginary border drawn years ago by
even-then-outdated geographers. For in
their assumption of these riches the
people, men with ordinary roots in
Shaughnessy, in Rosedale, in Outremont
as Turner and Patois have, will grow
strong and vibrant toward a future of
peace and plenty in Canada."
Visibly moved, is Patois, with Turner's
so startlingly original vision of Canada's
future. But he says:
"Ah, but it is all very well to talk about a vision of
the future, original though it might be. We are
politicians, as Chick says we are "the Technicians of
Tomorrow", and we must concern ourselves with the
means to this future, this Utopia."
And Chick's philosophy includes also the means to
this end. As he says: "First we must concentrate on
curing the ills of today, and then we must work on
establishing a better tomorrow." And so he is
dedicated to licking inflation and eventually putting
an end to that spiralling unemployment rate certain
other elements in the cabinet — Trudeau
particularly — are responsible for.
To do this they must first see that food, machinery
and all other essential prices don't go up. Chick
suggests they do this by reminding the businessmen,
themanufacturers,of their obligation to this country,
this party — for does the government not help them
establish new frontiers for industry through
government grants, through incentive programs?
His political originality and sophistication shows
here, for this program of thought will help them
finish off this spectre of inflation.
"And with the fall of inflation rates will come a
fall in unemployment, Chick says, for when people
have more money to spend (which will be the end
result of inflation) they will better be able to afford
jobs. And so it goes, my frien', the Turner ethic It is
the product of as much hard work as the end result
will be."
The word originality peppers the speech of both
Patois and Arbuthnot. It is a word connected with
John Turner as a spider is to its web. Quoted
throughout Slime, Turner reveals this original
thought again and again: the spider's web of
refreshing thought unravels.
"I would say, after a great deal of self-debating
and thought, that elections in Canada should be held
at an interval of no more than five years."
(Speaking after a byelection in Peace River South
that saw Liberal Tommy Douglas elected to
Parliament): "Byelections are, on the whole, a
reflection of public opinion of the government and
might almost at times be regarded as a barometer
for confidence of the people."
"People accuse the Liberal party of being a tool of
big business because of heavy business campaign
contributions to our party. Yet I can't help but think
that we are not a tool of their interest, but of the
interest of the men who produced the goods leading
to the profits. These are the ordinary people: the
management and efficiency consultants, the sales
managers with their fingers on the pulse of the
Canadian market and the vice-presidents: men risen
to the top from the bottom through hard work.
Ordinary men, and we are proud to be their tools, for
they are Canada."
Chick's thoughts, startingly original to his
confederates and subordinates, no doubt will form
the basis of the appeal of the Liberal party in the
upcoming June 27 (SLIME, June 29) federal election.
John Turner, justice minister and politician, is
ahead of his time, and Canadians in their peculiarly
social-Diefenbakerism have fallen in love with him.
Well informed pundits in the civil service agree his
time will come, as inevitably as the future will come.
John Turner is a man of the Future, and as
Canada's bete noir of the political arena Ron
Collister once acknowledged: "Surely we can say the
twentieth century belongs to Canada."
JUSTICE MINISTER TURNER
One touchdown after another.
THE NORTH
Eskimos
A new product appeared on the shelves of Toronto
supermarkets, resulting in a phenomenon which is
sure to sweep the country: Eskimo Capitalism. As
Minister of Tundra, Melvin Scrubbrush remarked at
an Ottawa news conference announcing the new
product "Once again we see the qualities of hard
work, perseverence and native know-how that made
the Canadian nation-state great."
The entire project is the result of Eskimo
(Slippery) Joe.
Thanks to Joe's original idea a burgeoning
economy known as Eskimo capitalism has
developed. "I was just sitting in my igloo sipping a
Manhattan one day wondering not what my country
could do for me but rather, what I could do for my
country," explained Joe.
"Then this salesman from Fuller Icepick crawled
in. That was when it hit me."
What at the time seemed a typical suburban set-to
between unwanted salesman and unfriendly
householder resulted in Joe being stuck with a dozen
icepicks. Gloomily contemplating the unwanted
picks, it occurred to Joe that they might have a
possible use. The obvious answer was to pick ice. He
• then asked himself what the True North has that the
rest of North America doesn't.
"Ice. Unlimited supplies of ice," Joe answered.
So Joe set to work.   *
His original plan was simply to dig out the ice and
haul it away for export. But Joe was not content with
this. "I'd been reading how that what this country
really needs is secondary industry. We shouldn't be
just shipping away our raw resources without
processing them."
The result was the world's largest ice-cube
assembly line.
What was once an average everyday igloo has
been expanded into a structure that would hold an
entire Boeing 747 jumbo jet. If the Empire State
building were transported to the True North and laid
on its side in Joe's igloo there would be an immense
pile of bricks which would probably stop production.
A glance inside shows hundreds of industrious
Eskimos busy with hammers, chisels, ice picks and
grinding machines.
Each raw piece of ice is handled carefully by the
Eskimo craftsmen.
Joe says the problem of finding skilled labour was
relatively simple as it seems the native carving skills
are perfectly suited for carving cubes.
Joe says sales in the south, particularly in the
United States, are booming. He credits this to the
lack of pure water in those areas. "After all, there's
nothing like a bad piece of ice to screw up a
Manhattan."
Joe says he is preparing to expand even further
into the U.S. market with the use of cocktail recipes
in each package of cubes.
"I've got people working day and night on recipes
which we expect to market in the near future. Right
now we're concentrating on Manhattans and we've
come up with some great variations. Here's one
called Joe's Revenge. All you do is mix three parts of
Arctic ice and two parts crude."
3 MAN OF THE YEAR
'■tet-V*'' "
' * *■■, i * «■
r-*frS?-'\-
r^*as**iiy
Put on A Happy Face
When Martin Mayonnaise, a white, middle-aged
executive, woke up one morning ten years ago to find
his head replaced by a flat yellow disc, he knew his
life was to change drastically. But he was unaware
his American citizenship would soon be obsolete.
Thanks to the creative genius of Madison Avenue,
Mayonnaise, or Smile Button, as he is known
professionally, has gained in three short years the
status of World Citizen.
For Mayonnaise, the American dream has
congealed. His face has been reproduced onto
buttons, medallions, bumper stickers, books,
posters, assorted rubber novelty items, and many
miscellaneous articles. Although his name is not
exactly a household word, his grinning visage has all
but taken over the space once reserved for pictures
of Franklin Delano Roosevelt and color tints of Jesus
Christ.
This year, while George McGovern stumbled his
way through the presidential election, while Richard
Nixon avoided the Watergate scandal, while Henry
Kissinger told the world peace was afoot in Vietnam,
the Smile Button remained eloquent in his silence,
his all-pervasive smile a monument to tolerance and
good will, and by doing so emerged from the mass of
bruised public personalities to be SLIME Man of the
Year.
Part of the credit for Mayonnaise's success story
goes to ageing Madison Avenue whiz-kid Arthur
Smugnose, who first met his client three years ago at
his agency, Smugnose and Languor.
"It was a rather unusual first meeting," says
Smugnose. "I was at my desk, nose to the grindstone,
and suddenly I noticed this guy with a hubcap
between his shoulders. I was about to say something,
then I noticed I was talking to his backside."
But the ladder of success was not without a few
rungs missing. Mayonnaise had still to be packaged
and marketed properly, and at first, they met with
repeated failure.
"At first I thought Martin would be the ideal
person to pose for some new Arrow shirt ads, but that
just didn't work out. We tried him out modelling
shirts, underwear, cigars, everything. We even had
Slime's Man: "Pleasant Expression Involuntary"
SLIME correspondent Peter Pundit
visited and interviewed Mayonnaise this
week in his home in New Jersey.
Mister Mayonnaise . . .
Please, call me Smile.
.Smile, how are you able to maintain such
a consistently pleasant disposition?
Well, Peter, that's a rather complex
question to answer. Actually the pleasant
expression on my face is largely
involuntary. You see, I have virtually no
nerves or muscles in my face. As a matter
of fact, it's a miracle I can even talk. It all
started that morning when I found a flat
yellow disc where my face used to be. At
that time, you see, I had no face
whatsoever — no mouth or nose, which
made it rather difficult to breathe — and
my doctor referred me to Sergei Smelly-
Mackerel, a suet-sculptor and part-time
plastic surgeon. Anyway, I went down to
his office on Broadway a couple of days
later for the preliminary examination.
Well, we talked for nearly five minutes,
and near the end of the session I'm afraid
I wasn't listening too closely. Apparently
what he was trying to tell me was that all
he could do was give me one permanent
facial expression. I was paying no
attention to him, unfortunately, but just
counting the dead insects on the sawdust
floor and listening to the jukebox. It so
happened the song'playing on the juke
was "Put On a Happy Face", which had
always been one of my favorites and
before too long I was singing along with
the record. Next thing I knew Dr. Smelly-
Mackerel was holding up a mirror to show
me my new face.
Looking back, do you think you would
choose a different face today?
Well, I'll tell you, what I had in mind when
I went to the good doctor was a bigger
nose, and a mouth with a more sombre,
dignified expression. But no, my face has
made me what I am today, and I don't
think I'd change if I had another chance.
But as well as your facial expression,
there seems to be an inner force which
dominates your personality. Can you shed
any light on that?
Yes, well, that's my own personal
philosophy that stresses the nullification
of all emotion and expression, or
constructive deassertion. It's loosely
based on the Pilgrim's Progress, the
Magna Carta, and the films of Debbie
Reynolds.
What my philosophy tries to achieve is
the state of complete oblivion to what is
happening within and outside one's sphere
of being,   not  to  mention  a  complete
refusal to take a stand on any given issue.
And how is this perfect state reached?
Well of course, the most important phase
of this evolution is a complete isolation
from the outside world. One must strive to
avoid highly-opinionated acquaintances,
for example, as well as newspapers and
other reading material. I myself try to
limit my reading to TV Guide, taking
great care not to read the feature stories.
But surely, if you watch television, you
cannot avoid being exposed to some
opinion.
Aha, thought you had me there, didn't
you? It just so happens I turn off the sound
when I watch television, and read the TV
Guide.
Do you retain any political beliefs at all?
No. I try to be as apolitical as I possibly
can. As you may know, I have recently
been appointed Ambassador to the world
by the United Nations, although I am not
completely in accord with the
organization's policies.
You're not?
No. I think the UN is much too powerful. I
prefer instead the hands-off policy
initiated by the League of Nations in 1919.
But wasn't that wishy-washy type of
policy at least partially to blame for
World War II?
Wrongo. If you check on that in any
history book, you!ll find the League of
Nations didn't declare war on anyone. It
was the individual countries. Get your
facts straight.
Let's go back to your philosophy. Has
your ideology gained any followers or
disciples?
Yes, especially in the United States and
Canada. Interestingly enough, it is
political parties and organizations who
take the most interest in my convictions.
For example, the Liberal Canadian
government and I have been in direct
correspondence for years. And I spoke at
the 1972 Republican Convention in Miami.
What about Democrats?
Well, that's kind of interesting. Usually,
parties not in power avoid me like the
plague until they are back in power.
Actually, the Democrats had promised
me a seat in Cabinet if they won.
And what did the Republicans promise
you?
I settled for a nominal fee, because
naturally there would be much more work
involved in working with the Democrats
than with the Republicans. With the
Democrats, it involves healing an entire
houseful of bleeding hearts, whereas with
the Republicans I'm covering old ground.
NEW Jersey
SLIME Map by A. Vespuchi
him do scouring pad commercials. Then suddenly it
dawned on me: instead of associating his New Look
with a particular product, we made him the
product."
Overnight Smile Buttons appeared in New York,
and quickly caught on in adjacent cities. The
garment districts churned out yards of Smile clothes
and accessories, and Mayonnaise did the talk show
circuit.
"This was a really crucial phase of Smile's
image," says Leon Languor, Smugnose's partner.
"Television appearances can make or break you.
You get a lousy makeup man, you say or do
something wrong, and it's good bye bowl of
cherries."
Mayonnaise proved this irrevocably when he set a
precedent of sorts on the Dick Cavett Show where he
walked on camera with his fly undone. He said later
that he'd felt a draft, but dismissed it as a case of
nerves.
"What made it worse," says Cavett, "Was that he
had it undone an hour into the show before I or any of
the studio staff noticed."
From that point on, Mayonnaise shied away from
the more controversial media and adhered to more
formal means of presentation. Hitting the lecture
circuit, he soon found himself in demand as a
speaker by Kiwanis, Elks and Lions clubs, the
Shriners, universities and colleges, and business
conventions across the country.
His speeches, described by his critics as "a
perverse version of the writings of Norman Vincent
Peale" and hailed by his admirers as "a universal
herald of new and happy messages" were collected
and leather bound in an expensive but slender
volume.
He was lionized this spring by Frankton College in
Exeter, Vermont, when he was presented with an
honorary degree "for spreading goodwill among
men of all nations, thereby contributing to world
peace and keeping back the Red Tide."
Last month, he attended a semi-informal dinner
at the White House and was introduced to the First
Family. Nixon, taking time out from a busy
schedule, praised Mayonnaise for "his efforts to
enliven the morale of the American people and the
other nations of the world" and described him as "an
internationalist in the great American tradition."
Unofficial White House chaplain, Billy Graham, also
present at the affair, called him one of the nation's
spiritual leaders.
"It was really a great thrill for me," Mayonnaise
said at a press conference. "Mrs. Nixon is such a
quiet, cheerful lady, and they have two very
charming daughters. And the President has a very
nice smile, too, when his upper lip isn't sweating."
Appointed by the United Nations last week as a
special ambassador to all depressed areas on the
globe (see SLIME March 23), Mayonnaise seems
virtually untouched by his own phenomenal success.
Although a World Citizen, he resides in his split-level
in New Jersey with his wife Deirdre and his dog Spot.
"Spot and I are terribly thrilled and proud of
Martin's success," says Deirdre, a plump, prettyish
young matron. "We're trying to persuade him to
travel a bit more, even though he prefers to stay at
home. But he doesn't feel staying in New Jersey will
interfere with his UN work."
Mayonnaise is uncertain about any future
projects. "I wouldn't mind working on some viable
medical plan whereby every citizen is guaranteed
crisp, white underwear and a shoeshine," he says.
"But for the moment, I'll just let the good times
come as they may — que sera, sera."
Wendell Wilkie once described the American
people as a vast reservoir of good will. If indeed
Wilkie's maxim holds true, then Martin Mayonnaise
is undoubtedly its floodgate.
SLIME, MARCH 30, 1973 Wall Street Gnomes
The staid gnomes of Wall Street's Big 27
investment houses were openly shocked last week
when it was announced one of the nation's largest
conglomerates, Meglomaniac Industries of New
Jersey had been bought by a shrewd Yanket trader.
W. Hal Jonah, chairman of Droopdrawers Corp., a
conservative Delaware merchant not given to idle
praise wryly remarked of this crafty Massachusetts
businessman who rocked the big street's money
markets "He has brought a para-quasi-psuedo
realism to the American success story."
This new giant of American industrialism is
Choice K. Hobson IV, a powerfully built, charismatic
figure who casts a Machiavellian (see SLIME July 9,
1513) aurora about himself, his entourage of
beautiful women and the new intellectuals who
worship him. An industrialist by profession, Hobson
is nevertheless conversant in 12 languages and
speaks knowledgeably in a high-pitched New
England twang on everything from Arctic penguins
to crypto-fascism.
A fait lui-meme man from the Hobson Bank
family, Choice was orphaned at three and went to
live with his grandparents.
His paternal grandfather (pa-ter-nal: on one's
father's side) was a dipsomaniac who beat him
constantly while his grandmother, a saintly woman
nurtured young Hobson's mind and spirit with the
culture of the old country (Boston). Despite the
beatings, Hobson remained an optimist who believed
in America:
"I was always an optimist. I believed in America.
With only his millions and his grandmother's
teachings, Hobson has become the leading recycler
of bullets in the Western world.
Hobson's penetrating gaze sees a bright future for
the industry.
WALL STREET SPECULATORS
They were openly shocked by the purchase.
"Ideally, the Pareto-Optimal involves developing
more ghettos and hostility," he told SLIME
interviewer Manny Many Bucks in an interview last
week in his villa in the Transylvanian Alps.
Hobson, a grass-roots American of the kind every
mother would like her son to become, has recycled
8,546,824 bullets, enough to build two and one-half-
Liberty Bells (see SLIME, July 25, 1796) — with
orscks
Whiie travelling in Mongolia, a number of years
ago Hobson met an individual indigenous to that
region and found to his surprise that this person was
unable to speak American.
To help alleviate the misery of this man and of
others who are unable to speak properly Hobson has
endowed a trust fund of $278 million to teach
everyone to speak American: "I sorta thought there
weren't no good reason why everyone couldn't speak
good like me."
When asked whether his penchant for expired
military hardware will ever carry him into combat
zones Hobson winks and says "Let's jus say if
someone's shooting at our boys you know who will be
there cleaning up after them."
With the takeover of -Meglomaniac Industries
(SLIME, March 30, 1973, 11 paragraphs previous)
the money moguls of Wall Street will no dbout be on
the watch for where Hobson will be cleaning up next.
KlJnEPSfTS'afWd.
SINESS
ONLY IN CANADA
Mystic from East Sets Record
At Calgary's Moose Nostril Stadium last week a
small unassuming mystic from the mysterious east
set an all-time box office record, something all other
visitors to the Alberta city have failed to do.
Surprisingly the event was neither a rock concert
nor a chuckwagon race, but rather a simple prayer
meeting, given by Swami Karsheet Kradesh
Kanada, or Swami KKK as his many devotees call
him.
Mobs of alternately weeping and moaning
bejeaned and beflowered long-haired young people
stormed the already full stadium and attempted to
break down the doors to gain admission.
Alarmed campus police broke out their billy clubs
and riot shields and prepared to do battle until the
voice of the Swami himself on a hastily-erected
public address system, enjoined the suddenly
peaceful and rapturous students to go home and
meditate on peace and love.
A fantastic sell-out everywhere on his current
Canadian tour, the Swami, an Indian from India (see
map) is due next week in Hollywood where he begins
filming in the new NBC daytime serial "The Truth
Seekers."
The latest in a long line of spiritual teachers to
plug into the turned on and tuned out Woodstock
Generation, the Swami, a Hindoo money changer in a
former incarnation, knows which side his chapatti is
buttered on, so to speak. Listed on the New York
Stock Exchange, Kananda Industries is the latest
glamor stock with sales of the Swami's teeshirts,
buttons, posters, decals, incense and happy faces
expected to reach an all-time high by the end of the
month.
College students, their spiritual energies
-unfocused and unchannelled since the three-way
schism in late 1972 between the Krishna Kats, the
Jesus Freaks and the Scientologists (see SLIME,
Jan. 4, 1973), responded with wild enthusiasm to
the Swami's call for peace and brotherhood. Says
Loretta Lee Lysol, a pretty co-ed from Maryland
State and a SLIME stringer, "I like the Swami 'cause
he's cute."
The Swami's written works.which are published
byJDELL, a SLIME subsidiary, are eagerly studied
. in fraternity houses and residences and, true to the
spirit of universal love the Swami preaches, tattered
copies are passed from hand to hand.
When interviewed by SLIME about his reception
in Canada, the Swami replied in his somewhat high-
- pitched voice and funny accent, "I am very happy to
have shifted to Canada. In Bombay where I was
situated before, I tried to tell people about the truth,
but it was like throwing a pork chop through a
synagogue window."
The "Swami Look", which has been adopted by
the more together devotees, and consists of men's
black, highcut running shoes, several yards of thin
cotton wound indiscriminately about the loins and
torso and little else. While women shave their heads,
men shave their bums for the ritual known in the
semi-mystical jargon as "hanging moons". This
somewhat bizarre ceremony was explained by Teen
Angel, local rock and roll singer who studied under
the Swami in India.
"On a Saturday night, when you're feelin' alright,
you climb into your Chewy and bebop down to that
root beer stand and if you're still feelin' alright, all
the cats drop their pants, roll down the windows, and
give their cheeks a little air for a while. This follows
like two of the Swami's basic tenets, you know man,
humility and unworldliness."
The most important ramification of "Kananda
Dogs and Children
Anyone who really cares about dogs and children
and other living things has already become aware
that the world has launched its creeping carriers of
corrosion against mankind in an effort to wipe it off
the face of the earth.
Attention was finally given to this growing
awareness among the masses by the UN in their
Universal Conference of People Concerned with the
Deadly Effects of Everything, held last week in the
Rupert J. Perverd wing of the UN buildings in New
York.
The world has become a dangerous mine field of
subversive bacteria, chemical poisons and fattening
cholesterol producing agents, the world's most
prominent scientists agreed. Man stands no chance
whatsoever against the swelling tide of nature's
guerillas.
Among the insipid enemies of mankind that pose a
A DELEGATE LEFT OVER AT THE UN MEETING
Konsciousness" as his managers put it, is its easy
acceptability on all levels. Therefore, it is a true
universal faith. As yet, it hasn't penetrated deeper
than the under thirty generation, but there, parts-
manager trainees rub elbows with Ph.D candidates
in a spirit of true brotherly love. The Swami's
ultimate goal, however, is the Kanandization of all
America, a future land where the banker shall lay
with the beatnik, where the energy of the people is
channeled into vibrations whose potential for good
shall know no bounds. .
constant threat to man's continued existence on
earth were fisted geraniums, eggs, sunshine, Chinese
food, Chinese period, Polaroid cameras, TV dinners,
dogs and children, the pill, tooth decay and mothers-
in-law over twenty-five years of age. The total list
comprised everything known to man in the universe.
The conference concluded, after several days of
examining data presented by doctors and politicians
from all corners of the globe (which is round, but
we'll let that pass, the copy editor is having coffee)
that there is not hope for anyone, anytime,
anywhere.
The American Medical Association led the way in
a new approach to the problem by being the first
group to counsel all doctors to advise everyone to
give up hope and get it on as much as possible in the
unquestionably short time that remains before they
suffer the agonies of annihilation.
SLIME, MARCH 30, 1973 THE MQimMf
SHOCKING
Caribou Nickel
Canadians digging into their change purses since
the New Year have been shocked to find another
furry creature engraved on the 25-cent piece. The
familiar caribou has temporarily bowed to a pig:
well actually it's a mounted RCMP officer. To
commemorate the centennial of the Force's.
formation, the Dominion Mint has struck a special
issue of quarter-dollars.
The staid old Dominion Mint in Ottawa, housed in
an unassuming building guarded by Wells-Fargo
agents, has actually gone mod in the past while.
Canadian specie is being replaced in the next five
years, marking the end of the all-pervasive portrait
of H.R.H., Elizabeth II (not Howard Hughes).
Mint spokesman N. Graving explained that the
skill of counterfeiters as well as the wish for a more
truly "Canadian" coinage were the prime reasons
for the new Peter Max-style bills. Graving said
famous Canadian political leaders were to replace
the Queen on all but the $20 bill. The venerable Sir
John A. Macdonald and Sir Wilfrid Laurier had
already appeared on the $10 and $5 notes. On the new
two will appear Sir Robert Boredom, and on the new
sawbuck will appear an old national hero — George
Washington. Prime Minister Trudeau earlier
approved Mint plans to notarize the centenary of W.
L. Mackenzie King's birth with the September issue
of the new Canadian three dollar bill.
fJ&'T*'*-
E THEATER
Age of Theater
Until recently, the common conception, of
Canadian musical theater has been a lumberjack
disemboweling a beaver with a chain saw. Yet lately,
a new breed of playwright has emerged from the
frozen North, and met enthusiastic receptions from
critics in Toronto [TRAWN-AH] and other major
Canadian cultural centers.
SLIME foreign correspondent Stephen Mundane
reports.
A new age of theater is born with every new
musical Sonya Jamin-Shmartlett writes (SLIME,
March 12) and now, with her newest show opening at
Toronto's Royal Alexandra. Canadian theatre has
risen like the phoenix (SLIME, March 1, 976 B.C.)
from the still warm ashes of her last masterpiece
(SLIME, December 4, 72) to attain heights
heretofore unthoughtof in the Western world.
The Royal Alexandra (SLIME, January 3) is the
vanguard of fresh, new, brilliant and scintillating
talent, and Jamin-Shmartlett is the B-52 among a
formation of Sopwith Camels.
This latest smash zeroes in on the audience, and
leaves them breathless, gasping for air.
I Was A Virgin for the RCMP is a witty rollicking
romp, full of gusto and punch, with songs of the
happy, hardy men in red bursting forth, bringing the
audience to their feet in rousing chorus..
The men in red are a fine proud unit, renown the
world over for their endurance, determination and
maintaining the best police force in Canada despite a
mean I.Q. of 37. RCMP files are virtual tablets of
inspiration, full red-blooded life is found on every
page. Survival in the wilderness, (Slime, October 59)
pursuit and capture of drug traffickers (SLIME,
May 70) Christmas eve patrol of the Trois Rivieres
highway (SLIME, February 11) — such are the
sources musicals come from.
Jamin-Shmartless is no newcomer to fame and
glory. J Was A Virgin for the RCMP is her fourth
smash production (SLIME, October 72, April 71, May
70, December 69), and is directed by her fourth
lover /director, Altman Van Der Veer. (SLIME,
January 3).
Van Der Veer met Jamin-Shmartless in a cabin
outside Osoyoos, where the playwright was
researching for her script. After several
experimentations, they realized their two talents
coupled together would create another success.
Emerging only twice in eight weeks from their hideaway (SLIME, February 22), the two studied 48
years of RCMP case histories. Borrowing from
Camus, Wittgenstein, and Mickey Spillane, I Was A
Virgin for the RCMP emerged, in the grand tradition,
of Cole Porter, Noel Coward and Lorenz Hart.
(SLIME, May 68)..
Ardent admirers of Jamin-Shmartlett will not be
disappointed. Her fourth is the best and strongest,
ringing loud and clear in strains of fresh mountain
air and the great outdoors, where in the lone Cariboo
all an officer needed was a patient mare and a tube of
K-9. (SLIME, April, May, June, 70).
g - Stephen Mundane
Avoid mean snakes,
nth) apples,
and sound systems
priittrejret
Wede
flD
    See your Pioneer dealer for
|J|flfy|l-~l~ Fv   tuners, amps, speakers, headphones,
turntables and tape decks.
Authorized agent:  S. H. Parker Company, 66 Lesmill Road, Don Mills, Ontario (416) 445-8530
SLIME, MARCH 30, 1973 White   House   Explosion
Sir/The destruction of the White House by a band
af crazed, French Canadian priests cum guerillas is
an act which will live in infamy. That a small force of
foreign rebels could actually get away with this
horrendous breach of international protocol is to me
just one example of the growing dangers we face
from our northern "neighbors".
I think it the responsibility of such an important
and influential news magazine as Slime to report this
grievous incident to the president, wherever he may
be, and I for one will give full support to any plan
which avenges this despicable affront to our nation's
honor.
SpiroT. Agnew
Jamestown, The Bahamas
Cinema   Verite
Sir/ I am sorely shocked and dismayed by
reviewer Congolia von Mulch's shoddy treatment of
the film "II Boo-Boo Dans Les Pantalons" in which I
appeared. Von Mulch's contention that "Boo-Boo" is
a very bad movie about infidelity is incorrect both
technically and aesthetically.
"Boo-Boo" is what the cast, the director and the
camera crew all strived to assemble — a lucid,
uncompromising social document. It is not, repeat,
not, about striking workers in a Prince Edward
Island cannery per se; look beyond the facade and
you will find the essence of man.
I am also distressed by your dismissal of "Boo-
Boo" as hideous pornography. Actually, I fail to see
what actually qualifies you to appraise this film,
when you yourself admit you walked out halfway
through it.
I might point out to you I am not without some
moral principles, and I would not have participated
in those allegedly obscene sequences had I
considered them immoral. I think all the copulation
scenes, including the elephant and zebra triple
fellatio scene and the anal penetration all-male
chorus line scene were tastefully conducted, relevant
and necessary to the basic action of the film.
What disturbs me most of all is Ms. von Mulch's
statement that "Canadian film makers are still in
the Stone Age." The reviewer reveals her ignorance.
Anyone who has sampled the delights of the
Moose Jaw Magic Lantern Festival, who has seen
the cinematic grandeur of "Trout Fishing in
Alberta" or the quiet intimacy of "Frenchy Lacroix
and His Log Cabin" would doubtless reproach you.
Gordon Pinsent,
Stratford, Ontario
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Sir/The senate report on the non-medical use of
vaseline has failed to stimulate the desired reaction
of at least one backbencher in the House of
Commons. Mr. Turdeau, it seems, has slid out of yet
another tight situation.
Abilene LaClooch's penetrating attack on the
failure of the federal government to initiate a
petroleum boycott was well timed but as usual the
Prime Minister has not risen to the occasion.
The boycott issue has been a juicy subject of
debate for many months and although Mr. Turdeau
has assumed many spectacular positions he has
never taken a firm stand.
. This I think is typical of his. slack attitudes. As a
tool of the people Mr. Turdeau fails to come up to
par.
Judy LaSwamp
Moose Groin, Sask.
Slime  Under   Fire
Sir/
I think
your mag has much better
things to do than to
write stories about acne
and other related diseases
and to take pictures of
ladies with no makeup on
and hair under their armpits.
Rod McKuen,
Oakland, Calif.
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SLIME, MARCH 30, 1973 Friday, March 30, 1973
THE       UBYSSEY
Page  19
Janitors take grievances to board
Contract discussions
between the Canadian Union of
Public Employees and the
university have started with
the union already split by
dissention over negotiating
demands.
About 150 women janitorial
staff will complain to the
women's grievance
commission Monday that the
union is refusing to negotiate
their    demands    with    the
university.
They have asked for day
care centres to be established
for their use and insist that
higher wages be a priority.
OTEU signs 'unfair' contract
The Office and Technical Employees Union
have completed the year with a new local
established at UBC.
The OTEU was certified to represent
between 35 and 50 physical plant workers last
September and has completed negotiations on
its first contract, secretary treasurer Opal
Skillings said Thursday.
Skillings said final negotiations were
recently completed on the contract.
"It has taken all this time to upgrade
people's job classifications," she said, adding
the wages decided on will be retroactive to
June, 1972.
But Alma Mater Society office workers,
members of the U.S.-based OTEU, say they are
dissatisfied with the recently-completed
negotiations.
A spokeswoman said they are "extremely
angry with the lousy contract" signed by the
union negotiators.
They say tnat although the predominantly-
male physical plant workers got a "decent"
settlement, the women are far from happy with
the contract.
But although they are unhappy with the
contract negotiated, the women are not
planning action at this time.
"But when some other union comes to us
with a proposal to join them, we're going to
listen."
A spokeswoman said the
women's action group report
on the status of women at UBC
shows "gross inequities"
between the salaries of men
and women workers.
She blamed this largely on
CUPE's "propensity for
negotiating fiercely for higher
wages for the men but not
bothering so much with
women's wages."
But CUPE thinks it has
established a comprehensive
negotiating package,
according to local 116 staff
representative Mike Kramer.
He said they are confident
they hold their members'
support, although the
independent Association of
University and College
Employees and the Office and
Technical Employees Union
have "muddied the waters
somewhat."
The   top   demand   is   for
education allowances for
employees and their
dependents, already granted at
five Canadian universities,
including the University of
Victoria.
Negotiators will be
demanding six month
maternity leave, year-end
holidays, three weeks of paid
holidays after one year's
tenure on the job, broadened
sick leave benefits and a health
and dental program.
They also want to reduce the
40-hour work week to 35 hours
where feasible and to start an
alcohol and drug pilot project
to give employees suitable
treatment where needed.
"UBC ought to be a model
employer. It's not, obviously.
But if the administration
grants our demands they
might at least appear so to the
outsider," Kramer said.
Salaries, job classes revealed
Campus clerical workers will learn their job
classifications and proper salaries — some for the
first time — when the Association of University and
College Employees releases a report prepared on
these matters.
Such information is usually kept classified in the
registrar's office and not released to the workers,
says association spokeswoman Jennifer Clemmons.
"When the women are hired, they are told they
will receive a certain salary for doing a certain job,
but they don't often know whether this is the right
salary for the job they're doing or not," Clemmons
said Thursday.
"They often don't even know what the exact
duties of the job they're hired for are supposed to
be."
The association is attempting to organize these
same clerical workers in a drive begun last October,
after their founding convention held here.
It is an independent Canadian union whose goal is
to represent the 1,050 clerical and library staff on
campus. It needs 50 per cent plus one of these
Workers to be certified by the B.C. labor relations
board.
"The library staff already have the information
available about their classifications and proper
wages, but this has never been released to the
women working in the departments," Clemmons
said.
The information for the study was collected by the
women's action committee, when administration
president Walter Gage opened records to them for
study of the status of women at UBC.
"We expect to tell the workers what work they
should officially be doing, but what we're mainly
interested in is getting input from these people about
what in actual fact the administration requires them
to do."
 Stories by LESLEY  KRUEGER
She said women are often hired because of special
skills not officially necessary under their job
classification, yet are paid no more for the work they
do.
"Sometimes a department head hires a woman
for the position of secretary II on the specification
that she has her BA degree. But this woman
normally gets paid the same amount as other
•workers despite her additional qualifications,"
Clemmons said.
"This happens in the language departments too,
where they hire bilingual women and then don't pay
them extra."
She said in these situations the workers should
fight for reclassification to a higher pay category —
and the study will give them the ammunition to show
that their skills qualify them for a better-paying job.
Clemmons said she also hopes to get salary
information for different job classifications from
response to the study.
"When a woman's hired, she's told only the salary
that she's going to receive, not the salary of her job
classification.
"This way we can compile a composite chart
available to the staff to tell them the wage scales for
different jobs around the university," Clemmons
said.
She said she now knows the general range of
salaries paid to campus and library staff.
The bottom wage is $350 per month for a clerk I
and the top is about $650 a month for an
administrative assistant I — the last general staff
category.
Association members are hoping the report will
bring further recruits to the union camp— their
union, particularly.
Clemmons said the organizing drive is nearing its
end and she's "hoping to have something to
announce to a meeting of our members by the end of
April."
She said she will announce then whether the drive
is nearly completed or whether the group is ready to
apply for certification.
"I see no sense in quitting when we're so near to
the end of the drive."
Clemmons said the organizing drive is doing best
in the library, administration office and applied
science department.
Their worst results have been in arts — "mostly
because the people are spread out in twos and threes
throughout the arts building and it's hard to get a
cohesive drive together." Page 20
THE       UBYSSEY
Friday, March 30, 1973
CUS—'a Canadian reality'
Since 1926 the existence of
some form of a national
student organization has been
a Canadian reality. Between
1926 and 1964, except for a brief
break during the Second World
War, the National Federation
of Canadian University
Students operated a fairly
efficient service organization
lor university students and
their   campus   organizations.
The NFCUSobjectives were:
the promotion of a better
understanding among
Canadian students, a higher
degree of co-operation among
all student organizations, the
advancement of legitimate
students' interests and the
development of relationships
with other national and
international groups.
However, there were several
drawbacks to the NFCUS
program, in that it failed to
lace the meaning and reality of
the student's position in
Canadian universities and
other post-secondary
institutions. First, it defined
only people who attended a
university as "students."
Second, while claiming that
one of its purposes was to
"advance the legitimate
student interests," it narrowly
defined those interests as those
along the lines of more service-
oriented programs. For
example; yearbooks,
songbooks, charter flights and
international   student   cards.
In October, 1963, delegates to
the annual NFCUS congress
restructured the organization
to allow French speaking
students an equal voice in all
matters concerning them.
They also changed the name to
the Canadian Union of
Students.
At the next year's
conference, French-speaking
Quebec delegates took their
unions out of CUS and later
formed their own organization,
Union Generale de Etudiants
de Quebec.
Both UGEQ and CUS
immediately attempted to go
beyond the narrow rhetoric of
NFCUS and began to be
involved with student
problems on a political as well
as a more expanded service
level.
Concern over accessibility of
within the university and the
role the university plays in the
world of government and big
business moved the
organizations into discussion of
questions affecting the day-today existence of the student,
such as housing, unemployment, student loans,.
student visas. The question of
universal accessibility lead
them to see the problem as
"the abolition of all social and
financial barriers to post-
secondary education." This
was, in its time, a radical
analysis; today, perhaps a
more common-place idea. But
as the organizations began to
come to grips with universal
accessibility, people in the
unions found they had to
consider all aspects of
education and of society, "for
it is impossible to change the
university substantially
without changing society" and
this view helped to precipitate
the downfall of CUS.
At the same time CUS was
becoming political, it
continued to provide the
essential services. CUS
provided publications on such
topics as co-ops, education,
housing and incorporation of
student organizations. The
union also operated research
services which developed
positions        on student
representation and
participation. CUS sponsored a
life insurance plan, operated a
flourishing travel service and
performed lobbying functions
in Ottawa. CUS helped create
the Canada Student Loan Plan.
Few students realize CUS
lobbied for the legislation that
allowed students to deduct
tuition from their income tax.
CUS folded primarily
because it became more
progressive than it respective
campus organizations. Its
leadership lost touch with
campus leaders and the.
students. It was facing
questions and searching for
solutions that were still largely
considered taboo by most
university student councils.
The press seized on these
'more radical views' and
capitalized on the controversy,
helping to drive the wedge
between CUS, the students and
the student organizations. The
folded after most of its
members voted to withdraw.
The next year UGEQ went the
same path, but the Quebec
students formed a regional
union in 1971, the Front des
Etudiants du Quebec  (FEQ).
It took nearly three years,
but now another attempt at a
national union in Canada is
underway. (The old CUS travel
bureau was taken over by the
Association of Student
Councils, a national student
services organization which
student councils formed when
CUS dissolved.)
In the winter of 1971-72 the
University of Windsor student
council called for a national
meeting to discuss the rebirth
of a national union. Not
coincidentally, at least six
other universities were
involved in the same thinking,
but as it was, Windsor was the
first to write the letters of
invitation.
The conference was a partial
success. It defined the need for
a national association,
analysed the errors of CUS,
established a set of procedures
that would bring a national
union into reality, and brought
together student leaders from
more than 40 institutions.
But it was also a partial
failure because it did not
include students from Quebec
French-speaking institutions
or from the non-university
post-secondary institutions.
The new organization must
overcome these types of
failures.
A kind of bickering was
evident at the Windsor
conference that could have
spelled an early doom for the
organization, but the members
faced the reality of dissention
and differences among
Canadian univeristies. It would
have been a farce it the
conference has broken up in
total solidarity. Facing the
somber reality now makes the
possibility of national union
more likely.
Delegates to the Windsor
conference selected a steering
committee to co-ordinate a
conference to found a new
national  student  union.   It
'Motherfucker' OK in print,
rule the Supremes
WASHINGTON (CUPI) — The United States
supreme court ruled recently a state university
may not expel a student for distributing on
campus a newspaper containing the phrase
"motherfucker".
"The mere dissemination of ideas — no
matter how offensive to good taste — on a state
university campus may not be shut off in the
name of conventions of decency," said the
court in a 6-3 ruling.
Chief justice Warren E. Burger called the
decision "curious — even bizarre" and joined
Justices Harry Blackmun and William
Rehnquist in bitter dissent.    -
The decision did not spell out the offensive
language in the newspaper. Barbara Susan
Papish was expelled for passing out the paper
at the University of Missouri in 1969.
The court's unsigned opinion used what
Burger called "the now familiar code
abbreviation" for the newspaper's "foul
language".
He said the court's delicacy underscored the
"anomaly" of its ruling the first amendment to
the U.S. constitution protected Papish.
The majority said the first amendment
"leaves no room for the operation of a dual
standard in the academic community with
respect to the content of speech."
Reaffirming the government's right to
regulate the "time, place and manner" of
speech, the majority said the evidence made
clear Papish was ousted for the paper's
content, not her manner in disseminating it.
Papish, a graduate student in journalism,
was entitled to reinstatement unless the
university "had valid reasons" to keep her out,
said the justices.
Lewis Powell Jr., president Richard Nixon's
only appointee to vote with the majority, has
made clear in speeches he deplores
permissiveness, but he will observe free speech
precepts except where offensive language is
thrust upon a captive audience.
Burger said a university should be treated as
"an institution where individuals learn to
express themselves in acceptable, civil terms."
He said Papish's "obscene and infantile"
publications should be subject to the school's
control, and the decision demeaned free speech
values rather than upheld them.
STUDENTS ... organizing for their rights
drafted a constitution and
encouraged campus debate on
the direction of the new union.
The conference was held in
Ottawa in November,
delegates adopted a
constitution and selected a
central committee. The
National Union of Students,
Association National des
Etudiants (NUS/ANE) was
slowly off the ground. By
January, a snowball effect had
begin, several student councils
voted to join and many others
were holding referendums
required for membership
under the new constitution. All
referendums held so far have
resulted in votes to join NUS.
NUS is both a political and
service organization. It will
lobby for students with federal
authorities and perform
research on such topics as
campus housing, pubs,
unemployment and student
participation in university
government. NUS will also act
as a forum to discuss the role of
students and post-secondary
institutions in society.
Many of the former
problems of NFCUS and CUS
have been overcome. All post-
secondary campuses are
eligible to belong. The problem
of CUS leaders moving more
progressively than the
students has been overcome
structurally. The new union
requires that all policy
decisions must come from the
floor of the general assembly,
and only after ample notice has
been given to all members
before a meeting. The central
committee may only
implement policy specified by
the members, it may not
initiate policy. The new union
will have no president, no
leader,   no   speaker   for   the
organization, no cult of
leadership that the press can
seize upon. The organization is
its members.
The first annual NUS general
meeting and conference will be
held in May. Clearly many
disagreements will arise, but if
Canadian students hope to
accomplish any goals, they
must act in unity and solidarity
through NUS.
"Single-handed we can
accomplish little, but in unity
there is no power of wrong that
we cannot defy." "In unity
there is strength and in a
program there is direction."
Michael Warsh is a student
at Simon Fraser University
and a member of the NUS
central committee.
AUCM back
The Anglican-United
Campus Ministry will be
around next year, but that may
be the last.
George Hermanson, AUCM
United Church minister, said
in an interview Thursday the
group has received funds
totalling about $13,000 but
$26,000 is needed annually to
operate.
The Anglican Church has
contributed $5,000 and about
$8,000 has been pledged by the
United Church.
"We have enough money to
operate to June, 1974 but after
that we may have to lay off
staff for lack of funds,"
Hermanson said.
Salaries    for    two    staff '
members   and   rental   and
operating   costs   total   about
$26,000 a year, he said.
Hermanson said the group
will attempt to raise money
during the summer through
consultations and outside
work. Friday, March 30, 1973
THE      U BYSSEY
Page 21
law school-worst institution'
First year law student Gayle "*
Gavin    comments    on    the
institution   of   the   law   and
UBC's law school.
As a law student I get the
distinct impression of
alienation among students. We
either talk about the
depressing alienation, calling
law school the worst institution
we have ever been in.
Or the conversation in the
halls is tied up in the intricate
arguments of the law — "the
distinctions without a
distinction", the problems of
reconciling one decision with
another.
(How was it that
unemployment insurance
introduced during the 30's was
not an emergency situation to
the Peace, Order and Good
Government of Canada but
measures to stop the early 1960
St. Lawrence Seaway strike
were?)
This alienation in law school
springs from two sources.
First, the role of the law itself
is to solidify the strength of the
various institutions of
Canadian life. It takes
cognizance of change but
rarely initiates it except by
way of legitimizing a long
recognized fact — for example
the relaxing of laws affecting
abortion.
Traditionally speaking, it is
not the role of the courts to
examine the milieu from which
laws arrive on the books, but to
interpret the law, whether
common law or statute law,
with respect to the case at bar.
Since 1966 this has changed
to some extent in Britain when
the House of Lords rejected
strict    adherence    to    the
Erinciple of stare decisis i.e.
eing bound by its previous
decisions.
But even this does not mean
that if you, as a lawyer, argue
so brilliantly before the British
courts against the court's
following a previous principle
set down in the common law
they will feel compelled to
accept your "submission."
This relaxation of stare
decisis infers they may
overrule previous decisions,
but in many cases they take
advantage of the "wealth of the
common law" laid down before
them.
And so, when we find
ourselves in law school, we are
faced with a somewhat parallel
approach to the law. There is
no time in first year to examine
the social conditions from
which decisions of law have
sprung.
In constitutional law we may
study major decisions
affecting Canadian life from
1892 to 1969 in two class hours.
We study in a vacuum the legal
principles which fortify our
political, economic and social
institutions and direct our
lives.
In case after case we find
questions posed and answered
in short, sometimes pithy
statements of what the answer
was and will be. We do not even
have the opportunity to
examine "why those questions
and why those answers."
But we have an idea of the
general process. We must not
lose sight of that idea, because
it is the reason why we came to
law school.
The answer is that certain
groups of people, united in
common purpose, influenced
court decisions re the common
law and the enactment of
parliamentary statues to
ensure strength they had
attained with respect to certain
advantages.
And so we came to law school
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because various areas of
Canadian development —
social, economic and political
— as expressed through the
law seemed unjust and needing
change in a direction beneficial
to a larger segment of
Canadian people affected by
them. We were overwhelmed
at what confronted us — a wall
of status quo strength.
The more we became
isolated from the community
which fostered our social
values, the more alienating the
law seemed. But, in fact, the
law does not exist by itself.
It is supported by interest
groups which in turn are
supported by it. We have to
become part of interest groups
pushing for change in society..
In the meantime there are
many everyday legal battles to
fight. There is a big job of legal
education to be done so people
can take advantage of the
protections the law now affords
them.
We have to work with other
social institutions such as
Family Court, Juvenile Court
and the welfare system to
ensure people receive more
than legal remedies to
problems that are economic
and social in nature.
The task of coping with our
problems and organizing more
effective and efficient ways to
do so is great. We who have
done nothing must start and
join the small numbers who
have.
But it is essential that we use
the law school for training.
Relief for legal problems can't
come from large, established,
corporate-orientated law
firms. The people in these
firms can't begin to realize the
complexity of poor and
working people's problems.
If they could they would not,
in regard to their own
positions, change it. We must
organize for ourselves. And so
we in law school who hold
"radical" beliefs and hopes
invite and encourage those of
you who also want to affect
these changes to come to law
school and work with us and
others in the community.
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I AMness
The discovery of the
Self beyond the ego
by UBC Authors
Ian Kent and
William Nicholls
Bobbs-Merrill, 1972
Obtainable again through
all Bookstores —
$3.50
This Summer
CYCLE BRITAIN!
'289.00 plus airfare
Charter, Excursion
(FREE IF YOU BRING 20 STUDENTS!)
7 nights London
20 days in the country:
rail transport between cycling areas;
Devon, Cornwall, Cotswolds,
Shakespeare Country, Southern Scotland
Lake District
(10-speed rental bikes)
DEPARTURES: July 8,
August 5,
others at request
' phone or write: School Holiday Dept.,
808 West Hastings, Vancouver 1
682-4272
I AMness Workshop
A workshop about identity using a combination of
existential encounter groups, Hatha Yoga exercises and
concentration training to allow you to see how your
mind has been conditioned by others in the past and
how to go beyond the conditioning to find out who you
really are and start to relate to people. This is the
workshop described in the book I AMness: The
Discovery of the Self beyond the ego.
_The next workshop starts with orientation on
Saturday, April 28 and runs for six Sunday mornings.
Fee: $30.00, students $25.00.
' Leaders: Ian Kent, M.D., Existential Psychiatrist:
William Nicholls, Professor and Head, Religious Studies,
U.B.C.
To apply for registration and further information
phone 228-2181, loc. 261.
Centre for Continuing Education, UBC.
Last year, in New York City
alone, ? nursing nuns made
6,322 patient visits. Not in hospitals, but in the patients' own
homes. Fantastic? Not at all
Not for the Dominican Sisters of
the Sick Poor. Ever since they
were founded in 1876, the Sisters
have been doing the impossible
daily.
Long before there were relief
agencies or visiting nurses, the
Dominican Sisters were dedicated
to nursing the poor in their own
homes thus keeping the families
together.
Today, the Dominican Sisters of
the Sick Poor are still on the job.
Although their primary work is
stili in nursing, it has been expanded to include social work,
physiotherapy, dietetics, and almost all health related professions. Each woman has her own
skill, her own special ability to
otter. In this Order, which is
small in size, there is both freedom and flexibility.
Yet the Sisters are not merely
Visiting nurses but religious
nurses who thinkof iheir patients,
not as cases, but suffering' members of the Mystical Body of
Christ who need, even beyond
material and physical help, Ihe
healing unction of Christ's love.
To learn bow you can serve as a
Dominican Sister of theSkk Poor
write to:
Sister Marguerite Mitchell,
Vocation Director
Room 104
Mariandalc,Ossining,N. Y. 10562
DOMINICAN SKIERS OF
THE SICK POOR. Page 22
THE       UBYSSEY
Friday, March 30, 1973
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By KEN DODD
A deep and detailed knowledge of
the issues is hardly needed to
recognize that Vancouver is entering
into a very significant period of
decision-making.
Many of the decisions pending will
have a lasting effect on the city's
shape and social fabric — more than
those of any period since the
finalization of Vancouver's first
official city plan in the early thirties.
The issues such as: the degree and
form of rapid transit, residential and
recreational development of False
Creek, change in the government
structure back to wards and urgent
need for greater co-ordination in the
Greater Vancouver Regional District
have long been debated and are
familiar to even usually disinterested
citizens.
So the mood of change has been
steadily brewing to a boil. The head of
controversy must now be siphoned off
and the contents poured into a mold.
The brewmaster in this case will be
TEAM (The Elector's Action
Movement) which controls the
financial vats of city hall for the next
two years. This mandate resulted
from its landslide victory in last
December's civic elections that saw
TEAM'S Art Phillips elected as
mayor and his running mates capture
eight of the ten aldermanic seats.
Certainly with TEAM in control
there is a new attitude at city hall.
One could even safely say the current
TEAM-dominated city council is the
best, the most progressive that
Vancouver has ever had. However
such a laudatory phrase loses much of
its potential impact when it's realized
the TEAM victory follows 34 years of
Non-Partisan Association rule.
NPA was anything but progressive.
A persistent rumor was circulating
that the petrified forest museum in
California had petitioned NPA
councillors for use of their brains as
specimens following death. Policy
ossification was far advanced.
NPA's view of the city was formed
in the 1930s and stayed in the 1930s. It
saw the function of city council as
basically a rubber stamp agency for
the land development schemes of big
business.
It was the governmental arm of big
business with the typical audacity to
call themselves non-partisan. The
elected representatives saw
themselves as administrators
running a corporation. Their chief
input was the senior civic
bureaucracy.
Rare was the time this policy was
significantly changed after being
presented to council. The city was
actually being run by these civil
servants then, guided by a big
business, corporate capitalism
mentality.
RANKIN
he's not convinced
In the mid-1960s visible opposition
surfaced to oppose the NPA. Reform
candidates, Bob Williams (now
provincial resources minister) in
1964, and Harry Rankin in 1966 were
elected as independent opposition
aldermen.
But the major impetus for
opposition forces came with the great
freeway protest of 1967-68. More and
more people became concerned with
NPA plans to turn Vancouver's
Chinatown and core districts into an
impersonal maze of concrete
freeways and massive office tower
complexes.
The quick awakening of such people
to the fact that NPA planned to turn
their city into a mecca for profit-
hungry developers and a wasteland
for the citizens, led to a scurry or
organization on the centre and left in
preparation for the 1968 elections. The
emergence of reform-minded civic
parties TEAM and COPE (Committee
of Progressive Electors) resulted.
COPE was spearheaded by Rankin
and expected support from the left,
being largely identified with leftist
NDPers and the Communist Party.
Much of COPE's NDP support was to
soon disappear, however, with the
entrance of the Vancouver area
council of the NDP into civic politics
in 1970.
TEAM was a coalition of middle of
the road Conservatives, Liberals and
right-wing NDPers.' Art Phillips, for
example, was a defeated Liberal
candidate in the 1963 provincial
election and later managed the
campaign of North Shore MP and now
federal environment minister, Jack
Davis.
Its support came from new-
generation businessmen,
professionals and academics. The
party was largely formulated in the
dining rooms of UBC's faculty club by
such people as UBC professors Bob
Collier, Bud Wood, Setty Pendakur,
Paul Tennant, Bill Gibson and Walter
Hardwick, Teamster official Ed
Lawson, CHQM owner Bill Bellman,
ex-Diefenbaker aide Gowan Guest,.
who was later to be the man behind
Derril Warren's ascension to BC Tory
leader.
Not surprisingly, TEAM gradually
occupied more and more of the centre
vacuum left open by the NPA. And
after gradual gains in the 1968 and
1970 elections, which saw the election
of Hardwick, Phillips and NPA
defector Brian Calder under the
TEAM banner, they took it all in '72.
So TEAM is a welcome relief from
the crotchety old men and equally
crotchety attitudes of the NPA. But
while TEAM rode in on a blaze of
glory, like glorious liberators astride
white horses, what can we really
expect from their councillors?
TEAM rode in on what has widely
been called a "motherhood" program
— dealing with general, impressive-
sounding generalizations that
acknowledged all the priority areas
that NPA virtually ignored but was
specific about very little. So the
question is, what will their priorities
be?
Well, running as did COPE and the
NDP with a policy program, general
as it may have been, TEAM showed a
willingness to be a council of initiators
rather than just administrators.
This willingness to initiate direction
has many repercussions.
Already, in the long term category,
TEAM is having the planning
department prepare the first major
zoning revisions since 1931. Also, Aid.
Fritz Bowers, council's finance
committee chairman, is preparing
the first detailed analysis on council's
on-going programs that has been
undertaken for many years.
Hardwick compared this review to a
household dilemma. Friday, March 30, 1973
THE      UBYSSEY
Page 23
it's TEAM'S to shape
"In my household if I'd had a diaper
service when my kids were small and
I'd continued it as a line item in my
budget people would think I'm
bonkers. Well, we've probably got
departments carrying on functions at
city hall that are equally irrelevant."
But though still in the diaper stage,
the new council has shown a devoted
willingness to carry through with its
rather corny campaign slogan of
"TEAM-work".
In this vein the TEAM council,
especially Aid. Jack Volrich and his
Community Development
Committee, have made a concerted
effort to give city government a more
open, accessible environment and
promote more citizen participation in
decision-making.
Thus, there has been a heightened
emphasis on providing better access
to council through increased reports
and publications and public hearings.
The other main thrust of the TEAM
majority has been on aesthetics —
giving the capitalist structure of
Vancouver a human face.
So the preponderance with
"improving the quality of life" —
making the city more liveable. To this
end a park will be developed on the
Four Seasons site at the entrance to
Stanley Park, the waterfront will be
opened for public activity, more open
space will be left aside such as the
Block 61-71 scheme in partnership
with the provincial government, the
use of cars will be restricted in some
downtown areas, unique areas will be
promoted and a pedestrian
environment encouraged.
Granville is likely to be closed off to
automobile traffic in the next year
with the sidewalks widened and
public transit only being allowed on
the road.
The rezoning being prepared
coupled with guidelines policy for
developers to be released next fall
will put some reins on the whims of
developers. There will be no more
huge central city complexes such as
the Pacific Centre development.
Future high-rise development will
not be allowed to further restrict the
view of the mountains; placement of
such buildings on lots will be
restricted and the remaining tranquil
character of the West End as a
residential environment will be
preserved.
Hardwick's proposals don't mean
the end of high-rises, simply that they
will be more attractive.
But one must wonder how well
TEAM will stand up to the pressure
from the business interests that not
only support their campaigns but also
build the buildings. TEAM is trying to
improve the face of the city on the one
hand and being fed and led by people
closely associated with major
developers on the other. After all Art
Phillips is a millionaire investment
counsellor.
Who has he counselled to make all
that money? Big business.
Decentralization, not regulation, is
the significant key to stopping the
traffic and visual glut of the
downtown area. TEAM will probably
accomplish this to a degree, but only
to a degree, and not a really
significant degree at that.
Downtown Vancouver will still be
the "Central Business District" as a
result of TEAM decisions in that area.
There are obvious contraditions
there and one group has to comprise
its outlook.
As well, it is doubtful how
successful TEAM will be in promoting
the decentralization of downtown —
getting the banks and insurance
companies to build their office
complexes in outlying areas. If done it
will help the weak bases of those
areas but break a very dominant
attitude among Canadian businesses
CITY HALL... TEAM'S in control for at least two years.
to congregate with friends downtown.
TEAM is pushing for more action in
regional rather than just city or
municipality planning, co-operation
on housing development, pollution
controls and transportation  policy.
TEAM, the regional district and the
provincial government will work
together much more readily on the
question of soft or hard rapid transit
for the area.
TEAM is also quietly buying up an
increased amount of land on the open
market to be used for public housing
and recreational use.
More building of low income and
senior citizen's housing will be
emphasized here. But while TEAM is
making inroads in this department, it
is in housing that COPE's Rankin
feels TEAM will be most lacking.
He feels a'much better job could be
done than TEAM is likely to do. He
challenges how much desire TEAM
really has in this area as compared to
what they say.
Rankin's criticism stems from the
outlook that food, clothing and decent
shelter are inalienable human rights.
Food and clothing can't be too
affected by civic-level decisions but
shelter certainly can. He maintains
that in a city where 53 per cent of the
inhabitants are tenants and where the
average price of a home is $34,000,
providing low-cost housing for people
in the $5,000 to $10,000 range is a
problem of crisis proportion.
And while Rankin acknowledges
TEAM is making increased efforts in
the proper direction, its moves are not
nearly bold enough to make any great
difference for most people caught in
the crunch.
Rankin attributes this lack of
perspective to TEAM'S
"overwhelming middle class
outlook", which pays a lot of attention
to aesthetics but isn't as strongly
committed to  "bread and butter"
PHILLjPS..- people participation is priority    issues.
The long-planned development on
the north side of False Creek will
alleviate the situation to a degree
however. The 105-acre site likely will"
be construction for housing by the end
of the year. Rankin wonders who
TEAM will construct the site for —
the middle class or moderate to low
income earners.
He feels there may well be much
executive-type development as
proposed by the consulting firm,
Berwick, Thompson and Pratt.
But officials deny this and maintain
the site will consist almost
exclusively of low-cost housing with
ample park space. It will be
interesting to see who is right. It's an
issue that bears watching.
Rankin is much happier with
TEAM'S initiatives in the social
welfare department, hoVever —
largely, one must feel, because he is
chairman of the committee.
TEAM has pretty well rubber-
stamped Rankin's proposals in this
area so far. Better facilities are being
constructed as units are* being
repaired to be made more attractive
and clean. The staff also is being
retrained in many areas to deal more
effectively with their clientele.
Most importantly, Rankin is
overseeing the end to the overage
system in the welfare department.
Under that system the administration
decided what welfare recipients
needed.
Now the rates will improve and be
given to recipients in a lump sum to
spend as they like. This is meant to
give recipients more flexibility and
more confidence in themselves.
The thrust for more participation
also enters this field, as well, with
welfare recipients being consulted on
a much wider basis. Recipients even
formed part of the official delegation
in the committee's last trip to Victoria
While this will improve the
situation, Rankin says, it is still a far
cry from full employment or a
significant change in the general
attitude toward the role of working
people in society.
They will still be seen at the bottom
of the status heap — their situation
will be qualified only slightly.
Such a prohlem, however; cannot be
fully resolved at civic level — it must
be dealt with in close consultation
with senior governments.
TEAM is taking long overdue steps
but the task is enormous and
immediate results should not be
expected. Canada's history of inter-
level governmental discussions is
rather sordid.
In general, Rankin says, TEAM'S
position is that of the little Dutch boy
at the dike. You put your finger in the
hole in the dike and high finance
inundates you over the top of the dike.
And that's how this whole crew can be
seen — as pathetic little Dutch boys
with their fingers in eight or nine
holes in the dike.
Rankin is a little heavy, perhaps, in
his condemnation but this thrust
seems quite valid. TEAM is a little
Dutch boy in its efforts to humanize
the structure while failing to change
the values which built and dominate
it.
Yes, TEAM is a definite
improvement at city hall. And it's
initiating much legislation that will
make Vancouver a better place to
live, It is taking a step in the right
direction — but a very small step.
As with all liberals, TEAM is only
treating the symptoms and not the
causes.
So, how will TEAM change
Vancouver?
Look for a humanized, nicer looking
city in the next couple of years, but
still a city with great disparities and
with the significant problems barely
touched. Page 24
THE       UBYSSEY
Friday, March 30, 1973
Foreign student
laws cause little
concern at UBC
By LINDA HOSSIE
Stricter enforcement of immigration regulations to prevent
non-immigrant foreign students from obtaining summer jobs is
not causing much concern at UBC.
The regulations prevent any non-immigrant in Canada from
taking a job when there is a qualified Canadian willing to do it.
"There is very little change in the actual regulations,"
immigration officer J. G. Shield said in an interview Thursday.
"The change is in how a foreign student goes about getting a
job."
"In the past a student took a job offer to manpower and if a
Canadian wasn't available to take the job, the people at
Manpower just wrote 'OK to work' on the student's file and gave
him the job.
"Now there is a more stringent search for Canadians to take
the jobs, and if a foreign student is granted a job he is issued a
whole new form."
"This strict enforcement of regulations comes from the
Liberal government as a result of the static they have received
over the unemployment problem," he said.
Assistant UBC registrar Edith Allen said she doesn't
anticipate a problem arising from the immigration ruling.
"We have always told students they must have sufficient
money to cover the cost of their courses and living expenses
during the term" plus additional money for a vacation of
approximately four and a half months," she said.
If the summer work undertaken by a foreign student is an
integral part of his or her studies then a work permit will be
issued by the department of immigration," Shield said.
"This is good at the graduate student level, where
fellowships and research grants are given but it doesn't help
undergraduates," Allen said.
There are3,000 foreign students at UBC, International House
director Colin Smith said Thursday. Eighty-five per cent of
these are landed immigrants, so the problem affects only a
minority of students.
"Don't forget you're dealing with Canadians who don't have
jobs too," he said.
Student services director A. F. Shirran agrees with Smith
and Allen the problem is not a serious one.
"I can't really see this is going to change things much. The
only difference in the regulations is that they're being
formalized and mechanized."
Shirran said the Canadian International Development
Agency pays some foreign students a stipend to do practical
work in their field during the summer.
"But this is a fairly small percentage because the CIDA is
changing their orientation "
BETTER BUY BOOKS
pays CASH FOR BOOKS
TEXTBOOKS, QUALITY PAPERBACKS, ETC.
LARGEST SELECTION OF REVIEW NOTES IN B.C.
MONARCH - COLES - SCHAUMS - & OTHERS
We Trade Used Pocketbooks and Magazines
Located Near the Varsity Theatre at
4393 W. 10th Ave. 224-4144; Open 11 a.m.-8 p.m.
ENDS SATURDAY
730
BEST FOREIGN
FILM - l%8
good grief
it's candy!
Robert Hogging, Psier LartA and
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ISH8
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n
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miss
we
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textbooks \
FOR ONE WEEK ONLY
get 50% in cash for used
textbooks scheduled for use
in the next fall session.
Highest prices also paid for discontinued texts.
the bookstore
university of british
Columbia 228-4741
April 13, 16, 17, 18, 19 and 24
9:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. Friday, March 30, 1973
THE       UBYSSEY
Page 25
Hot flashes
Cfciffy, Durrant
master profs
Zoology professor Dennis
3hitty and English prof Geoffrey
Durrant, are the 1973 recipients
3f the annual master teacher
award, sharing a $5,000 cash
prize.
The 12-member selection
committee responsible for
screening a record 38 nominees
also awarded certificates of merit
to six other UBC teachers. They
are:
Keith Alldritt, English;
Elizabeth Bongie, classics; James
Kutney, chemistry; Stephen
Milne, political science; Jon
Schnute, mathematics and G.
Glen Young, forestry.
Yukon scfioof
Peter Brimacombe, a member
of the Carcross Community, will
be talking about the proposed
Carcross Alternative school,
Whitehorse, Yukon, Monday noon
in SUB 215.
The school is being set up in
an abandoned  residential school.
Universities are currently in
operation at Toronto and Montreal and the group here hopes to
open in September.
Persons with ideas about
courses or operations of the university are asked to contact Boris
Chinkis at 224-3455 or Jean Ger-
ber at 731-5940.
Chinkis said Thursday some
classes may be held at UBC. Persons of all faiths are welcome.
Nursing
UBC's school of nursing is
inviting first-year arts and science
students and secondary school
students graduating this year to an
information eveing 7:30 p.m.
Wednesday, at Westbrook Hospital's psychiatric lecture theatre.
New nursing curriculums will
be discussed.
NORAD
Jewish U.
A group of UBC students are
attempting to organize Vancouver's first Jewish Free University
to study all aspects of Jewish
culture and religion.
Tween
classes
TODAY
CHINESE   STUDENT   ASSOCIATION
Punch party and informal dance, 8
p.m. IH.
* L'ALLIANCE FRANCAIS
Last meeting of the term, noon, IH
upper lounge.
MONDAY
AUCM
Carcross community, noon, SUB
215.
THURSDAY
YOUNG SOCIALISTS
Syd Stapleton, noon, SUB clubs
lounge.
tAPRIL19
SAILING CLUB
Spring cruise meeting, 8 p.m., 6044
Collingwood — check bulletin
board.
Can we afford NORAD?
That's the theme of a one-day
disarmament workshop Saturday
at the Unitarian Church, 49th and
Oak, from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m.
UBC political scientist Phil
Resnick will speak on the subject
at 10:30 a.m. at the seminar
chaired by Karen Sanford, NDP
MLA for Comox.
Registration fee, which includes lunch, is $2 per person for
the workshop sponsored by the
Vancouver Voice of Women and
the Peace Action League.
Creative kids
Films, displays and panel discussions about creative uses of
children's books will be featured
Saturday at a child book fair and
workshop, 10 a.m. to 3 p.m., at
the Vancouver public library auditorium, Robson and Burrard.
Art teaching
Art teaching in the context of
creative thought is the subject of a
7 p.m. talk tonight by author
Rudolph Arnheim.
The Harvard University art
professor will speak in education
100.
Human money
Cash awards of $5,000 each
are being offered to writers and
university graduates and undergraduates by the Canadian Human
Rights Foundation for work in
the field of human rights.
Written or visual submissions
in French or English should be
made to the foundation. Suite
2165 - 630 Dorchester Blvd.
West, Montreal 101, P.O. Deadline
is June 1.
Edutation
Retiring education dean
Neville Scarfe will chair a noon
seminar Thursday featuring Stanford University education professor Robert Gagne.
Gagne will talk about instruction and the processes of learning
in education 100.
SPRING SKIING IN JASPER
during KOBASA KAPERS
3 Day Breakaway
April 26, 27, 28
only
$42.00
7 Day Breakaway
April 22-29
only-
$98.00
*Price includes lodging at JASPER PARK LODGE
(based on double occupancy) and Ski Lift Tickets
LIMITED SPACE AVAILABLE - BOOK NOW WITH
ASSOCIATION OF STUDENT COUNCILS
A.O.S.C.
Room 100B
S.U.B., U.B.C.
224-0111
THE GREAT BUNDOLO TALENT HUNT
CAN YOU WRITE GOOD???
CAN YOU ACT—FUNNY???
IF SO, DR. BUNDOLO MAY
BE INTERESTED IN YOU!
Contact Him
c/o The C.B.C.
684-0246    Local 388
CLASSIFIED
Rates: Campus — 3 lines, 1 day $1.00; additional lines, 25c;
Commercial — 3 lines, 1 day $1.50; additional lines
35c; additional days $1.25 & 30c.
Classified ads are run accepted by telephnne ami arc pavable in
advance Deadline is 11:30a.m.. theilav befure publication.
Publications Office. Room 24IS.U.B., UBC. Van. H. H.C.
ANNOUNCEMENTS
Lost & Found
13
LOST: RED BINDER OF 2nd YEAR
notes. Please contact quickly before Monday's exam. Phone 261-
5525.
LOST IN SUB LAST FRIDAY, 4
keys on ring with tag (404). Phone
Tom,  224-9726.
Special Notices
15
RENT WHISTLER CONDOMINIUM
near gondola. Day/wk. Ph. 732-0174
eves, or before 8 a.m.
COURSES IN FILM MAKING.
Starting April 7. 736-6711 (days)
or 872-2851  eves,  weekends.	
HORNBY ISLAND SUMMER COT-
tage, vegetable garden, electricity,
well water—681-8068 after 6 p.m.
HOUSE BOAT IN COAL HARBOUR
next to Stanley Park for rent, May-
August.   681-8068  after 6  p.m.
TEACHER WANTS TO RENT FUR-
nished house or apartment for
July/August. Careful tenant. Write
Joan Pulley,   100 Mile House,  B.C.
ALL YOU WANTED TO KNOW
about Newfoundland but . . .
S.C.M. Study Conference, St.
John's, May 10-14. Delegates invited! Contact Doug Hodgkinson,
228-0049.         .
MIVOLOUS MERV HAS OFFICI-
ally withdrawn as a candidate for
Scunge of the Year to assume the
position of Nad Belly Dancer.
Special Events
15A
LAST CHANCE BEFORE EXAMS
to see Dr. Bundolo and his Pandemonium Medicine Show is this
Thursday, April 5 in SUB Movie
Theatre   at 12:30.   It's  Free! .
NOW $75 FOR 25c
40 Bonus Coupons In This
Year's Bird Calls
BUY YOURS TODAY!
—  Bookstore and SUB —
Travel Opportunities
16
MUST SELL: VANCOUVER TO
Amsterdam unused half of youth
fare. Valid to July. 876-0179. Jack.
SEE MEXICO & CENTRAL AMER-
ica Overland Expedition leaving
May 6 for 3 months, $465. Phone
731-5672  or 980-1091.
Wanted—Miscellaneous
18
WANTED: CROSS COUNTRY SKI
equipment. Also woman's 10-speed
bicycle.   Good   condition.   926-6292.
AUTOMOTIVE
Autos For Sale
21
'67 V.W. WINDOW VAN, '69 EN-
gine, new tires, camper potential,
$1200.  681-8068 after 6.	
'64    CHEV.    IMPALA,    AUTOMATIC
power brakes and steering, air
conditioning, radio and two new
snow tires. Rebuilt engine 1971,
good shape & running condition.
228-3196 or 224-9072, ask for Sadig.
HEALTHY ONE TON "s"TEpTlN"
van, bread truck, etc. Will pay
$300-3400   cash.   733-2738.
Motorcycles
25
BUSINESS SERVICES
Photography
35
Utjbt %tni and &>l)uttti]
Camera*
LAST CHANCE
THIS TERM
New Cameras at Old Prices
MINOLTA SRT 100
$199.95
WHILE STOCK LASTS
Trade-ins Always  Welcome
3010 W.  Broadway
Not* our Now Phono No.
736-8375
Scandals
37
.i'OE BLOE ANYTIME, BY THE
hour. Contact Brad Talbor, 6th
floor,  Salish.
Typing
40
EFFICIENT ELECTRIC TYPING.
My home. Essays, thesis, etc. Neat
accurate work. Reasonable rates.
263-5317. ^
EXPERT IBM SELECTRIC TYPIST.
Experienced Thesis Typist. Specialize in Formula and Math. Reason-
able Rates. Mrs. Ellis, 321-3838.
TYPING— GUARANTEED ACCUR-
ate. Fast service. 50 tf per page.
Andrea Green, 688-8261 or 278-2043
(after 5).
Typing—Cont.
40
ESSAYS, THESIS, PAPERS. FAST,
efficient, accurate. Near 41st and
Marine Drive. 266-5053.	
IBM SELECTRIC TYPING SER-
vice. These, manuscripts, term
papers,  etc.  Mrs.  Troche—437-1355.
EXPERT THESIS OR ESSAY TYP-
ing, 501 per page. Kathy, 224-0180.
NEED A TYPIST? CALL 266-6182.
I have an IBM Selectric typewriter
with a carbon  ribbon.	
TYPIST AVAILABLE—IBM ELEC-
tric (Elite type). Thesis,, term
papers,   essays,   etc.   327-5381.	
EXPERIENCED   TYPIST:   Essays—
Thesis  (Will do rush typing)
LOCATION:  Kitsilano Area
NAME:   Millie TEL:   736-5244
 TRUSTWORTHY TYPIST	
  434-955S 	
TYPING OF ESSAYS, ETC., DONE
efficiently. 35£ per page. Phone
224-0385   after   5:30   p.m.
EMPLOYMENT
Help Wanted
51
NEED A SUMMER JOB? TRY THE
Student Connection. All faculties.
Phone 731-3742.	
THE STUDENT CHRISTIAN MOVE-
raent sponsors summer work projects for University students who
are interested in earning money,
experiencing co-operative living
and gaining some knowledge of
social problems. Sound like something you would like to do? For
more information contact: Doug
Hodgkinson, 228-0049, or George
Hermanson,   224-1614.      	
ACTIVE COUPLE TO MANAGE
simple campsite on Hornby Island,
June 25-Sept. 7 approx. Cottage
provided, salary J300 month. Duties
include registering campers, garbage disposal, maintaining water
pumps. Call Mrs. Anderson, evenings,   224-1741.
Special Classes
62
SOCIALIST LABOR PARTY STUDY
class, 2 p.m., Sundays. 609 East
12th Ave. Box 2556. Vancouver 3.
Free  literature. 	
Speakeasy SUB Anytime!
228-6792 - 12:30-2:30
TUTORIAL
CENTRE
For Students and Tutors
Register Now! 12:30-2:30
MISCELLANEOUS
FOR SALE
71
18' SAILBOAT, CEDAR HULL, S.S.
o.b., dacron head. $2,500. 738-4936
evenings.  Ready to sail.	
WANT TO SELL ALMOST NEW
single bed before leaving Vancouver on April 20/1973. Phone 738-
4097.	
Centals & real estate
Rooms
81
ACCOMMODATION AVAILABLE
for "May and June at Delta Kappa
Epsilon Fraternity House. 5765
Agronomy Rd. Reasonable rates,
cooking facilities, washing machine, colour TV, etc. Ph. 224-9691
after 5:00 for details.	
FREE QUIET BED-SITTING. ROOM
in lovely South Granville home for
responsible male student, private
bathroom, on bus line, no cooking,
very conducive for study. Available
May 1st. Phone 738-5822.	
Furnished Apts. 83
LARGE 2-BDRM. APT. TO SUB-
let May 1-Dec. 31. 1-1846 Arbutus
at W. 3rd). Outstanding view, 4
blocks from Kits beach, $160 per
month.   732-8920   or  291-3667.
85
Halls For Rent  	
SPACE AVAILABLE IN CO-OPER-
atively oriented house, May 1st —
varied rents, Taul or Michael at
224-0230.
WE'LL
HELP YOU SELL
NEXT FALL
Ubyssey Classified Page 26
THE       UBYSSEY
Friday, March 30, 197
Rugby:
A case of defence
Hooker Bob Jickling of UBC watches as teammate Jack Shaw jumps
for ball in line-out
UCLA 4, UBC 3
The UBC Thunderbird rugby
team finally met a defence
they couldn't overcome. The
defence came to B.C. courtesy
of the University of California
at Los Angeles Bruins, who
took the Birds 4-3 in a classic
cliff-hanger.
UBC took a 3-0 lead on Mel
Reeves' penalty goal from 20
yards out and hung on until
half way through the second
half when UCLA winger Matt
Fahile chased his own kick
down the field, outran two UBC
defenders and touched the ball
down for four points.
The. Birds repeatedly won
the ball from set scrums and
lineouts, but were unable to
A good year
The UBC women's field
hockey team ended one of their
best seasons ever defeating
Vancouver Ramblers 1-0
Saturday to win the Vancouver
First Division title.
The only goal of the game
came on a penalty bully
situation with one minute left
in the game, when Joan
Lawson took the bully for UBC.
The varsity team lost only
two games all season over a
span of more than 20.
UBC hosts judo
tourney Sunday
For the first time in seven
years, UBC is hosting a judo
tournament. It will be held at 1
p.m. Sunday at War Memorial
Gym.
Judo clubs throughout B.C.
have been invited to
participate.
The tournament will be run
as a team competition, each
club submitting one or more
teams of five men each.
Individual performance will
count only insofar as it
contributes to the total of team
points.
Ten points are awarded for a
win by ippon (a perfectly
executed throw in which the
opponent hits the mat with
appreciable impact), seven
points for wazari (in which the
opponent is thrown, but
without complete control) and
five points for a win awarded
by decision of the judges, when
neither contestent has been
able to decisively defeat the
other.
After team competition, a
red and white tournament will
be held for those clubs who
were unable to fill out a
complete team.
In this style of tournament,
competitors  are divided  into,
two sides, approximately  by'
truckiv my blues *wfly;
rank and weight. Starting from
the bottom, the contestents
fight each other in succession,
with a winner staying out until
he loses or draws. Points are
awarded and totalled at the
end to determine the all-over
winner.
"A lot of people are familiar
with judo only through
demonstrations or watching
Emma Peel," said judo club
president Bill Byrd. "For such
people, Sunday's tournament
is a good chance to find out
what judo is really all about."
ITS
J-
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furnished rooms for SUMMER
Singles $17, Doubles $12/person
Home-cooked suppers $7/week
MAKE YOUR NEST WITH US:
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rQ> WE CAN SUPPLY ALL
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IN ADDITION TO OUR REGULAR
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HIKING BOOTS
By PETER MacQUEEN
capitalize due to the strong
defence of the UCLA back row
and three line.
When the Birds won the ball
they kicked it into the box,
attempting to create a ruck.
However, the Bruins spoiled
most rucks and consequently
the Birds could not regain the
badly needed possession of the
ball.
The Birds were given ample
opportunity to go ahead, but
they missed many kicks at
goal. Reeves attempted seven
and made one, while Warwick
Harivel missed his one
opportunity.
The game never flowed, a
the referee seemed to have
fixation  about  blowing  hi
whistle.
Although   most   infraction
were  warranted,   perhaps
would have made for a bette
game if some  of  the  mine
infractions were allowed.
UBC will have to improve it
play for the next game, whic
is the MacKechnie Cup fine
against the Crimson Tide on
week Saturday in Victoric
This game will end th
season — then comes the lon£
hard training for the tour c
Wales and England in earl
September.
■ U'
hair is
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324-4644
PRODUCT
OF NISSAN Friday, March 30, 1973
THE      U BYSSEY
Page 27
Soccer:
Birds
face
Italia
The UBC soccer team is
hoping for a move up to 3rd
spot in Pacific Coast League
standings when they play Inter
Italia at 3 p.m. Saturday at
Empire Stadium.
Victoria Gorge hold the 3rd
position at the moment, but the
Birds have two games in hand
and may defeat Inter Italia for
the two points they need for
another move up in PCSL
league standings.
In previous encounters with
the Italian team the Birds have
won on a one goal margin.
Because of last week's
goalless draw with Norburn,
when a win was expected over
the Intercity club, the game
against Inter Italia will be
approached with a justifiable
amount of caution.
The Birds have four more
games in league play, with two
of those games in their home
park at Thunderbird Stadium.
The remaining games are on
April 7 against the Vancouver
Sporting Club, and April 14
against Victoria West.
Both games are at 2 p.m.
ON STAGE
APPLE JACK
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White UCLA players and Thunderbirds contest for another line-out
-ross macintosh photos
Having a bike is a bit like having a dog.
Be faithful to it, and it will be faithful to you.
A two-stroke plays hard, so you'd
better feed it right.
That's what Castrol's Motorcycle
Injector Oil is all about.
Keeping the heart of your bike (its
engine) strong and healthy.
So your two-stroke doesn't have a
third stroke.
The whole range of Castrol products,
from GTX for 4-cylinder models
to Shockol and Chain Lube, has been
developed for the same reason.
To keep your bike in the best of health.
And you out of trouble.
ggh Because you dont want
your two stroke
to have a third stroke.
SH**E OFF TH6 SHA&KLES
-■"'''  SUPPORT FREEDOM
Of'CHOICE   .,;.
Castrol The engine protector Page 28
THE       UBYSSEY
Friday, March 30, 1973
Residents ask BoG for meet
—mark hamilton photo
FIFTY IRATE ARTS students prepare for a bit of guerilla theatre as they await their unexpected walk-on
entrance in Doug Kenny's "Arts Faculty Follies", in the lobby of the Freddy Wood theatre. Reviews claim
they took the audience by storm, had the faculty rolling in the aisles, and didn't leave a dry eye in the place.
AMS OKs rag typeseffing
compared with costs of $70,000 a year for
publishing at a Ubyssey print shop.
The staff told council the cost of publishing
three issues a week in a Ubyssey print shop will
be approximately $5,000 a year less than two
issues a week at College Printers.
Much of the saving results from the fact a
large proportion of the paper will be produced
by volunteer labor.
The typesetting equipment chosen by the
staff utilizes the latest innovations in
typesetting.
The basic process involves printing
computer instructions punching paper tape
with computer code sent from a keyboard.
The tape is then fed into a machine which
interprets the code and causes photographic
paper to be exposed to flashes of xenon light
sent through letters on a film strip.
The light causes a chemical reaction on the
paper in the same shape as the letter on the film
strip. The paper next is taken from the machine
and developed in a portable darkroom.
The developed paper is pasted on a page and
sent to the printers to be run off the presses.
Alma Mater Society council Wednesday
approved in principle the acquisition of
typesetting equipment for The Ubyssey.
Council at the same time approved in principle
the expansion of the newspaper to three issues
a week next academic year.
The expansion to three issues a week will be
made possible by anticipated savings resulting
from typesetting and pasting up the newspaper
on campus rather than at an off-campus print
shop.
The Ubyssey is currently typeset and pasted
up at College Printers, 12th and Maple.
The job of running the paper off the presses
will likely continue to be handled at College
Printers.
The decision to acquire the typesetting
equipment was forced by increasing costs at
off-campus print shops. Costs for the 1972-73
publishing year threatened to cut the
newspaper to one issue a week.
The Ubyssey staff calculated the cost of
publishing three issues a week at an off-campus
print shop would by 1980 rise to $120,000 a year
By DAVID SCHMIDT
Residence students have asked the board of governors to
hold a special meeting to deal with the proposed 20 per cent rent
increases.
Acadia Park Tenants Association president Derrick Booth
said Thursday students were promised in writing a special
meeting to deal with the proposed residence rent increases to
take effect over four years, "but now deputy president William
White tells us they will be dealt with at an ordinary meeting of
the board."
He said residence students will demand the special meeting
because "there's no way these problems can be dealt with at an
ordinary meeting."
Booth said the inter-residence action committee has finally
received the detailed figures they have been asking for — but
not from the university administration.
"Housing gave us the D5 schedule, printed in the UBC
PReports (March 7), which lumped all the expenses together,
claiming this was the best information they had.
"However we later got the detailed report we were asking
for — the D4 schedule — from the provincial government."
On the basis of the information received from the provincial
government, the committee has drawn up a brief opposing the
proposed rent increases.
The brief notes all the residences in 1972 except Totem Park
operated at a profit. Fort Camp (women) made about $9,500,
Fort Camp (men) about $12,500, Acadia Camp about $44,000, the
grad dorms about $17,000 and Place Vanier about $96,000. Totem
Park, the only residence to lose money last year lost about
$140,000.
However, Booth said the Totem Park loss should be
tempered by a conventions profit of $127,000, thus cutting down
the actual loss to only $13,000.
He said these figures were obtained by cross-checking
income and expense statements for each residence.
He said housing is losing credibility by constantly changing
figures and by coming out with new figures almost at will. .
"Housing inferred the detailed figures weren't available, yet
when we went through the government we were able to get
them," Booth said.
"Housing has constantly revamped the Acadia figures, while
not taking another look at the single residences' figures," he
said.
Booth said the rent increases would probably be approved
during the summer, thus forcing the single students to pay
them.
"The single residents are a difficult bunch. They have to
leave during the summer and when they come back they will
simply have to pay the rent increases," he said.
Though students accuse the housing administration of dividing the students by placating Acadia Park student demands, the
committee brief sometimes uses the same tactics.
The brief notes the Acadia rents include $28,000 to cover
administrative costs in Acadia and an additional $51,000 for
general residence staff, which is about a quarter of the
residence staff costs. This means the 10 per cent of residence
students living in Acadia Park pay 25 per cent of the
administrative costs.
Booth, however, defends this, saying: "We're presenting a
case against all the figures."
AMS hacks get
honoraria
Alma Mater Society council
voted Wednesday to grant
honoraria this summer to the
AMS president, treasurer and
co-ordinator..
The decision to give
president Brian Loomes and
treasurer John Wilson each
$2,000 and co-ordinator Joanne
Lindsay $1,000 was reached as
an amendment to a finance
committee recommendation to
grant honoraria  of $2,000,
The recommendation was
challenged by grad student rep
Bob Angus on grounds the coordinator's presence would
only be necessary for two
months of the summer. A
motion by Angus to amend the
committee's report granting
honoraria to only the president
and treasurer was carried.
A second amendment by
science rep Ken Mitchell,
providing a revised $1,000
grant to the co-ordinator, also
carried.
The honoraria are meant to
compensate the three
members of the AMS executive
who will be working on
projects during the summer
when they could meanwhile be
seeking employment.
Also carried by council was a
motion Mitchell made to
censure the finance committee
for its semi-closed meeting
policy and to urge the
committee to open its meetings
to all AMS members.
Provisions were made for in-
camera meetings. »•
Council later discussed the
dispute over the recent levying
of student fees from graduate,
summer and part-time
students, and council approved
the sending of a letter to th***
summer session association
formally notifying them of the
levy.
Approved as well was th<*
sending of a letter written by
AMS secretary Stan Persky to
deputy administration
president William White in
response to his letter to counci\
inquiring about the reasons
and objectives for the fee levy.
Council carried arts
undergraduate president Bill
Moen's .motion to suppor the
AUS actions at the arts faculty"
meeting Wednesday afternoon,
an attempt to register a protest
against the faculty's refusal to
grant voting parity to arts
students at faculty meetings or
to make the meetings^
accessible to them.

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