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The Ubyssey Jan 18, 1927

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 #;&WV.
Sin? IbtjHaftj
Issued Twice Weekly by the Students' Publications Board of The University of British Columbia.
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SJHHBBW!
Volumt IXs
VANCOUVER, B. C„ JANUARY 18th, 1927
me—mt9*mmesme^!mm*xrxa*iJ*asm
No. 18.
■asBBoansBn
MANITOBA HERE FRIDAY
FOR YEAR'S FIRST DEBATE
University of British Columbia "Away" Debaters to
Meet University of Saskatchewan at Saskatoon
On Friday evening next, In the University Auditorium, the major debating event of the year will take place.
This Is one of four debates of the
Western Universities Debating League.
The other three debates take place on
iita Same date at Edmonton, 8aska-
toon and Winnipeg.
Last year the U.B.C. debating teams
met the University of Saskatchewan
here and the University of Alberta in
Sdmonton. Success came to the
•B.C. team In the borne contest but
tho away team failed to establish
their case, The debaters for last
term were H. Leslie Brown, Gordon
Telford, Harry Purdy, and Murray
Hunter,
This year the Varsity teams meet
the Universities of'Manitoba at home
and Saskatchewan at Saskatoon. The
visiting Manltoban team consists of
Messrs. Ison and West. These men
a#e debaters of first class ability and
egperlence; but It remains to be seen
Krhether they can overcome Varsity's
powerful combination ln Paul Murphy aud Richard Yerburgh. These
two men have been working consistently on the affirmative of the topic,
"Resolved, that all restrictions on voting in Canada based on race or color
should be removed," for the past
month and feel quite sure that they
have "Irrefutable arguments and stat
istics." The teams art* about equally
matched ln Btrength and the contest
should be a most Interesting one.
Varsity's away teams, H. Leslie
Brown and Bert Bailey will leave
Tuesday for Saskatoon. They will debate there on Friday evening, upholding the negative of the aforementioned resolution. They will leave
for home next Saturday but will stop
off at Edmonton for a few hours to
visit  the  University  of  Alberta.
While the above teams are competing against one another, the University of Saskatchewan will send her
away-team to Edmonton while Alberta
sends hers to Winnipeg.
Last year the University of Alberta
won the silver cup which is put up
for annual competition. This cup was
donated to the League by a member
of tho BtafT of the University of Alberta. The winner is determined on
the point system—that is, each debate
comprises five points. Two of these
points go to the winner of the debate.
The other three are determined by the
Judges' individual decision. The University having the highest number of
points is declared the winner.
Last Monday afternoon an Informal
debate was held ln the Arts Building
between the University teams. Both
teams showed up to great advantage
and both gained additional strength
from friendly discussion and criticism.
Varsity's travelling team in the Saskatchewan - U. B. C, Debate is made
up ot the two young men shown above: H. Leslie Brown and Bert Bailey.
It Is superfluous to indicate which is which as either one Is sufflcienty well-
known for his own activities to distinguish him from tbe other. They pack
their carpet-bags for the East today.
Women Debaters Display Activity
Thursday evening, February 3rd, is
the date of the second Inter-colleglate
debate this term, when U.B.C. Co-eds
will meat women representatives of
the College of Puget Sound In a dual
struggle to be held here and tn Tacoma. The Varsity team upholding
the affirmative will travel and speak
at the Washington College, while the
other side of the argument will be
Upheld here In the University Auditorium. A keen debate la expected
for the subject, "Resolved, that Mussolini has evolved the bust system of
government In continental Europe today," l» a topic that promises to develop, during the evening, Into an Interesting,  not  say  heated argument.
The away team will consist of two
Juniors, Miss Jean Tolmie and Miss
Alice Weaver. Each ha8 had considerable forensic experience, for since
their Freshmen yeor both have been
on the winning team in inter-ctaes debating.    This   will   be  Miss   Tolmte's
second debate with the U.P.S., aa she,
with Miss Kathleen Baird, composed
last year's successful home-team. She
has also taken part, ln the past, In
other International debates for the
rolloge. Miss Tolmie Is known as a
careful and convincing speaker, and
with her experience should again
score ii victory for U.H.C.
Miss Alice Weaver Is president of
the Women's Literary Society and
was chosen last year to tako part In
the debate by radio with the University of Southern California. She Is a
clever speaker and although lacking
the experience of her colleague, will
undoubtedly prove an able supporter.
The negative side of the question
will be supported at home by Miss
Kathleen Baird, another member of
the Junior year, and by Miss Margaret O'Neill, Arts *29. Miss Baird, who
Is the leader of the team, Is well
known as an excellent debater and a
gifted orator.    She Is also a member
EPITAPHIC
WRITE-UPS
FOR SENIORS
The "Annuul" wrlteups are due at
tbe end of tne month, and accordingly
the usually plucld seniors are now
racking their brains to find something
clever to say about their special victims.
In past years the wrlteups were
weird, wonderful and disconcerting,
and on tbe whole, a disgrace to the
University. Speaking plainly, they
constituted the most absurd collection
of Insipid platitudes that could be
placed In a self-respecting student
publication. Even a third-rate society
journalist suffering from aphasia, or
the famous Harold Teen - Llllums
couple could not turn out such hopeless gush as some of the "annual
write-ups."
These write-ups, as a rule, could
only be compared to an epitaph. In
botli cases the subject, or rather victim, has reached .some stage In the
process of departing from our midst
and cannot defend himself whon the
atrocity Is published. The epitaph is
generally written by some "clever"
person who does not know his victim,
who tries to cram in as much praise
and saccharine sentiment as he can,
regardless of the facts. The name applies to the "write-up." The Dame
flowery style prevails and above all
the same air of Inane artificiality.
The trouble Is that every writer, no
matter what is his ability, tries to be
witty and epigrammatic. If he Is not
clever himself, he tries to beg, borrow
or steal some altogod bright ->ays«g
from previous annuals. As a result,
the majority of "write-ups" are mere
re-hashes of the attempts of previous
years.
If the victim has distinguished himself by athletic or scholastic attainments, or by being the president of
something or other, the write-up can
deal with these achievements. If, on
the other hand, the victim did not
have an active career, the "write-up"
generally consists of a collection of
a sickly description of his (or her)
personality and his j^u* her) eyes, etc.,
etc.
Imagine, forty years or so, hence,
when the victim has become famous!
Would he be proud to have the
swarms of biographers nnd Journalists
pounce upon his "write-up" in the Annual and repent that, "Algernon lias
a winning smile and a cheerful personality. Ills only vice Is taking
freshettes down to tea—blah-blah,
etc., etc."? Would he like his descendants to remember him by this kind of
blither?
Obviously the presence of these
abominable write-ups Is not the fault
of the Editorial Board. As a rule the
editors of the Annual are intelligent,
efficient, and possessed of common-
sense. They know the absurdity of
the "write-ups," but realise that the
student-body  Is Incurable.
This year we have a first-class editorial board which deserves our support. It Is up to the members of
senior year to do their share ln making the "Totem" a success by refraining from writing the miserable platitudes that were Inflicted upon the
Annual by other years. Otherwise It
would be best to abolish tho personal
"write-up" entirely.
of the team holding the shield for
Interclass debating and with Miss
Jean Tolmie was last year victorious
In her first international debate. She
Is the holder of a gold medal won In
the oratorical contest two years ago.
Miss Balrd's team-mate, Miss O'Nell,
is as yet an unknown quantity, for she
Is a newcomer to U.B.C. from the
prairie, and has had little opportunity
to display her debating ability. However, she and her brilliant leader
should form a strong combination
against   their Washington opponents.
Last January saw the first women's
Inter-colleglate debate between the
I'.H.C. and the University of Puget
Hound. Varsity teams both at home
and away were successful, and although at this time the debating ability of the U.P.S. women la unknown,
our teams have a good chance of
winning.
The Varsity badminton team returned Sunday night from Kelowna,
where It came out on the long end of
a 9 to S score over the strong Kelowna
team. The games were all close and
well contested. The Varsity girls
proved to be the deciding factor ln
the final score, winning four singles
and a double from the Kelowna representatives. Bill Argue won outstanding victories over Hill, the well-known
Canadian doubles player, and Reed,
the singles champion of the Interior,
defeating the latter In straight games.
In the other game Argue came from
behind after losing tho first game, to
win the last two ln a fine exhibition
of badminton. The four mixed doubles
matches were closely contested, one
going to each of the Varsity combinations. The feature match, that, of
men's doubles, went to Kelownft, after
a close and exciting match featured
by Stevenson's smashing nnd Hill's
uncanny drop shots. The ladles'
doubles was a clean win for Varsity,
Diana Porteous and Dorothy Pound
combining well, to win ln straight
games.
This, the flrst trip ever made by a
badminton team representing the University lias proved a great success.
The Kelowna players, and especially
Mr. Hill, upheld royally Kelowna's
reputation for generous treatment of
visiting teams. Mrs. J. Lamb very
kindly accompanied the team as cb/ajo-
eron.
The Teams: Kelowna —Miss Musgrave, Mrs. Bryce, Messrs.  Hill and
The Library Circulation
The following article endeavors to
present some Information and statistics about the University library and
Its contents. The present University
library was founded twelve years ago
when the initial purchase plus the
existing McOill stock amounted to
about 17,000 volumes. It has since
grown to tho Impressive number of
f>:?,000 volumes, the result of an average annual Increase of about 4,000
hooks. At the end of December 1926,
of the fill,000 books contained ln the
library, 57,222 were tinted volume by
volume in the accessions. The estimated number of duplicates was
slightly over 3000; and there are, in
addition, about ,9,000 pamphlets.
Circulation records were first kept
In 1919. The average circulation for
the last three months of that year was
706 books. The total circulation for
1926 was 27,766 volumes, which gives
a monthly average of 2,314. This
shows an enormous Increase over the
706 volumes which circulated monthly
at the end of 1919. A high water
mark tn the history of the library oo
curred In November 1928 when 4,197
books were loaned.
The above Information refers to the
usual 7 day loan. In addition to this
there are the reserved books for required reading. A record was first
kept In October 1925. For the last
session, there were loaned ln October
4,784; ln November 6,483; and ln December 4,041 reserved books. This
amounts to from 130 to 216 dally.
The annual overage of 4,000 new
books is decided upon and purchased
as follows:
The first essential, a book fund. Is
voted to the library by 'he Board of
Coventors. There Is also a library
committee which gives to the different departments, alloted Burns for the
purchases of new volumes. The librarian Informs the departments of
their share and the departments ln
turn send ln their requisitions to the
librarian. Book requisitions can be
made by any member of a department,
bin before the requisition can become
official It must be sanctioned by the
head of that department, Thus the
library, through Mr. John Rldlngton,
has over one hundred specialists
selecting new volumes for its shelves.
Every year the President and the
Board of Governors vote some extra
money to a supplementary book fund.
This generally amounts to a considerable sum, and makes possible the pur-
ATTENTION!
Will the fourth year students please
look on the notice-boards for lists for
annual write-ups. The students whose
names are underlined on the lists will
find letters ln auditorium rack concerning pictures. The secretaries ot
all classes and clubs are responsible
for the write-ups which must be in as
soon as possible,
Tho pictures must bo taken by the
end of January, and If everyone
leaves It till the end It will be very
inconvenient to make appointments.
Tie captains of the athletic teams
should try to get their teams taken
soon because It will be practically Impossible to get them done In the men
at the end of the month.
su
4
■M
Varsity Badminton Team Wins
at Kelowna-Bill Argue Stars
Reed, Champion of tha lntarior and Hill, of Canadian Doubles
Fame, are Dafaatad
Hoed.   Varsity—Misses Diana Porteous and Dorothy Pound, Messrs. 8ta-
venson and Argue.
The scores:
Men's Singles
Hill lost to Argue, 16-11, 8-15,5-16.
Hill beat Stevenson, 16-0, 15-11.
Reed lost to Argue, 10-15, 18-15.
Reed beat Stevenson, 15-11,15-12.
Ladles Singles
Mrs. Dryco lost to Miss Pound, 11-8,
12-14,5-11.
Mrs. Bryce lost to Miss Porteous,
4,11, 0-11.
Miss Musgrave lost to Miss Pound,'
2-11, 9-14.
Miss Musgrave lost to Miss Porteous, 6-11, 8-14. :      ,
Mixed Doubles
Hill and Miss Musgrace beat Argue
and Miss Pound, 16-0,17-18,15-9,
Hill and Miss Musgrave beat Stevenson and Miss Porteous, 15-7, 16-13.
Reed and Mrs. Bryce lost to ArgtM
and Miss Pound, 9-15, 7-15.
Reed and Mrs. Bryce lost to Stevenson and Miss Porteous, 15-17, 8-1B.
Men's Doublee
Hill and Reed beat Argue and Stevenson, 18-17, 15-10,
Ladles' Doublee
Mrs. Bryce and Miss Musgrave lost
to Miss Pound and Miss Porteous,
12-15,9-15.
Resuts:
Kelowna,  6  matches;   Varsity,, 8
matches.
ii'i^s*»!*^**/£^/ -,:>'«<<*
EXAMS. DENOUNCED
BY PARLIAMENT
Living up to its election promises
and its general policy, the Reform *
Party' introduces their bill calling tot
a drastic change in the system of University examinations, at tbe opening
of the new session of the Students'
Parliament on Thursday.
Amid much heckling and criticism
from the opposition benches the radical measure was read and passed for
tho first time, and Its general purposes vigorously discussed in its
second reading. Although In sympathy with the principle of the measure, the opposition Indulged in pointed criticism of the construction and
general handling of the bill by the
government.
Proceedings were opened by the
standing committee ln transportation
reporting progress. Mr. Speaker ruled
that the "Hen No. 6" Bill was out of
order, and the decks were cleared for
this session's struggle.
Mr. Whlteley, one of the most
prominent figures of the opposition
made a plea for the Parliament to
start real work, reviewing the progress made In the past session.
Mr. F. C. Pllkington, the premier,
being given permission, gave the first
reading to "Bill No. 1." The motion
was put on the orders of the day for
the next sitting, but this was rescinded In the next motion. The rules of
(Continued on Page 4)
chase of large and valuable seta of
volumes In which the university
Library has become very rich. t< t
X
THE    UBYSSEY
Pt.
¥ i
f-tWF
k
M,
Shr IbiiBBrii
(Member of Pacific Intercollegiate Press Association).
issued every Tuesday and Friday by the Student publications Board ot the
University of British Columbia, West Point Orey.
Phone: Point Orey 1434
Mall Subscriptions rate: 18. per year.   Advertising rates on application.
■tutorial Staff
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF—Edmund Morrison.
Senior Editors—David Warden and Donald Calvwt
Associate Editors—Oeorge Davidson, J. Sinclair and M. Chrlstlson
Feature Bdttor--F. C. Pllkington
Assistant Editors—Doris Crompton and M. Debrlsuy
Chief Reporter—Max Cameron
Sport Editor-Vernurd Stewart
P.I.P.A. Bdltor—W. B. Thompson
Cartoonist—Oeorge Thompson.
Literary Bdltor—Daroy Marsh.
Business Staff
Business Manager—Gerald Stevens.
Business Assistants—R. D. James; Huv, Patrick; Ross Tolmie, Evelyn Fuller
Idltere-foMhe'leeuet
•enlor, Don Calvert; Associate, J. Sinclair; Assistant, Doris Crompton
FROM AN UNREAD LETTER
In our last Issue we recommended to the attention of
students an open letter In those columns; and we went so far
, As to hope for an expression of atudent opinion on the question
raised. To date, however, nothing has been heard, said, written
or read; and the letter is already fallen below the surface-level
Of "todty" when it might have received even that superficial
attention our readers are able to give only to the present, and,
If the question Ib not to go unanswered, it will be our task to
delve Into "yesterday" and raise the letter from the depths.
. Nd doubt it escaped the notice of the majority of readers that
the letter dealt with student representation on our governing
Sxeoutive; that, ln effeot, the letter asked for at least one moro
'   office on the Council to be reserved for contest among members
'  of the Junior year alone: and the reason for the request, a good
fd sufficient reason, was set down in cold type.   We don't want
repeat the reason; there should be no necessity of so doing;
but unless ye do, not one In ten will know it, so here goes.  It is
,. hoped, by reserving on the Council additional seats for members
*|f the Junior year, to provide Council experience for the prospec-
lve A. M. S. President who will, In the nature of things, be elected
contest among candidates and by choice of .the students.
ius there would be no need of election by acclamation.
* , Not so many years ago in this university, candidates for
Office had been asked to run only when their supporters were
Satisfied of their worth. Ot later years candidates have often
chosen to run, not for those offices (if any) for which they were
fitted, but for those to which their election seemed to them
fairly certain; and having made their choice, they rounded up
their supporters, and as often as not, were elected. These are
the manners of candidates in our yesterdays and in our present;
tomorrow, the manner of our candidate will be to wait until he
Is invited to accept office. So we go from "asking," and "choos-
iag" to "accepting;" and the merit of the office becomes less in
proportion as the office is like Malvolio's "greatness," thrust upon
the candidate.
s Let us, then, avoid the dreary repetition of such elections as
we had last year; and let us make an effort to match men of
nearly equal ability, in something approaching a contest.
BEAUTY
A glimmering light, the first of dawn,
That fttlntl- marks the birds that
pass.
And dew of heaven, fresh, clear, newborn ;
Pearls shining in the grass.
Two   grassy   banks    thick-flowered,
hedge-crowned,
Heavy with scent, and drone ot bees.
A drowsy wind that sighs around
The leafy groves of trees,
The quiet of oven.    The setting sun
Turns with Its rays the old sheep-
roitt
Red and purple.   The day Is done
With western skies of gold.
A starry sky, a harvest moon,
A liquid tight that bathes the earth
In rippling splendor.   The low croon
Of bubbling streamlets' mirth.
-IM'.
January 18th, 1927
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Men's Outfitters
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good, wholesome
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Stielfl
Class and Club Notes)
High Jinks Again
Scorn Mere Man
Hilarious Freshettes, Sophettes, Juniors and Seniors will shake (tie
foundations of Heather Hall, January
31, when the annual rally of co-eds
will take place. High .finks Is one of
the most enjoyable entertainments of
the year and Its success annually Is
an adequate proof that mere man Is
not always an asset to social functions.
Freshettes! here Is a chance to show
the senior girls what a peppy crowd
you are. Everybody comes in fancy
dress. Be more original, more beautiful or If possible funnier than any
Previous freshettes. Seven prizes will
e given, so make the most of the
next two weeks to devise original
dresses.
In former years even revered and
awe-Inspiring members of Faculty
have been represented with such success that the only things lacking were
the dignity and air of great wisdom
usually attributed to such personages,
All types of costumes from a radio
set to the weather have been worn
but there is plenty of room for Improvement.
Come in couples, for besides prizes
for tbe prettiest, mofct. original and
funniest costumes, there will also be
four others for the prettiest couple
and the funniest couple.
Don't stay away because you don't
know many of the girls. This Is a
great opportunity to get acquainted.
For once the dignity of the senior and
the superiority of the soph. Is thrown
to the winds. Everyone comes for a
good time. They get It. Remember,
Monday, 31st January, at 7.30.
Broken Windows!
l! may tie of interest to the students
lo know that In an Interview with
Mr. Imllas, the bursal, Saturday
niorniiii; he staled thai eighteen windows had been broken In the snowball Cndtis on Thursday. Only two
were reported and these will he paid
I'or from the caution money of the
bo.Vh who broke them. Otherwise all
the men's caution money will be assessed for the damage.
It Is manifestly unfair that tho
whole student body should be called
upon to pay for the damage done by
a few. Unless those who are responsible for the damage report It this
will be the case.
No one would object to a snowball
fight If the students wish to Indulge In
this form of sport. Rut when damage
Is done it should be reported.
It Is possible that those who participated In the fight do not realize
the Injustice they aro Inflicting on
others by not assuming their share of
the responsibility but now that the
matter is drawn to their attention
they will, no doubt, assume this just
obligation.
"You give me a pane," said Mr. Dallas, when the student reported that
he had broken another window.
STUDIO CLUB
A meeting of the Studio Club will be
held at the home of Dr. W. L. Macdonald, 4563 3rd Ave. W„ on Wednesday,
January 19th, at 8 p.m. sharp. All
members are requested to attend.
BRITISH PUBLIC SCHOOL
CLUB
A club has recently been formed ln
Vancouver, tbe membership of which
Is limited to ex-students of English,
Irish, Scotch, and Welsh public schools
nnd universities, Although tho objects
of the club are primarily social and
athletic, it. Is hoped that the organisation will prove of especial asRlstnnce
to newcomers from the Old Country.
Tho membership and entrance fees are
quite reasonable,
Will any student or others who are
interested pleaso communicate with
Ooorge Vincent, Jack Nash, D'Arcy
Marsh, or else phone Point Grey 618-R.
BIOLOGICAL DISCUSSION
CLUB
Following the successful fall session, the executive of the Biological
Discussion Club has announced their
Spring program. The Interesting features of the Spring term are a series
of papers, by members of the club on
Practical or Applied Genetics and Eugenics, and lectures by such well
known men ns Dr. Williamson of the
Biological Research Station and Dr.
McLean Eraser. The lectures by these
men are illustrated and that ot Dr.
Eraser will be made open to the whole
student body at an afternoon meeting.
The meetings have been arranged as
follows: January 24, "Desert Life," by
Dlgby Leigh, At this meeting John
Stanley will demonstrate his microscopic projector which he has constructed over a period ot years. January
31, "The Breeding and Inheritance of
Domestic Animals," Jack Beney. "Why
Hen No. 6 was destined to produce 351
eggs In a year," Syd Bowman. February 14, a lecture hy Dr. Williamson
on the salmon Investigation and tagging In B. C. February 28, Two papers
will be given on some phase of plant
genelcs. March 14, two papers will
be given on Inheritance and rare
movements of man. March 28, "The
Economic Biology of the B. C. Const,"
to be given by Charlie Mottley.
SENIORS MEET
A meeting of tho combined executives of the Senior Class ln Arts,
Applied Science and Agriculture was
held at noon on Thursday, January
13, It was decided that the three
executives would act as a committee
to discuss activities of the graduating
class for this term. Syd. Bowman
was elected chairman of this committee. Preliminary arrangements for
tho Senior Ball were discussed, March
•i being proposed ns u tentative date.
The following; committee waa chosen
to take charge of this affair: Misses
Margaret Keillor and Marie Hldilel!,
Arts ':>7, Miss Nora lliggs, Nursing '27,
Ilee. Munro. Arts '~7, I'hll Walnnian,
He.  'l!7 and Jack  Berry,  Agric. '27.
INTERMEDIATE "A"
Varsity's Intermediate A basketball
quintet maintained the leadership of
their division Saturday night when
thoy handed the Normal crew a 32-29
setback. So far this season they have
only dropped one game and that to
the Mernlomn team.
Williams was a tower of strength
for the home forces gathering in sixteen points while Stevenson notched
ten. Mitchell got four and Stewart
two. Moore was the high man for
the Normal team with fourteen points.
SWIMMING CLUB
The Men's Swimming Club proposes
putting on Itti programme this term
a course of ten half-hour lessons for
boginners and those who desire to
learn the crawl stroke. Mr. Herman
Cox, ono of the foremost, coachers on
the continent, will give free to members of the club, the same course for
which he charged formerly ten dollars
for eight lessons. The club foe Is
12 "(0 nnd this entitles members to all
clith privileges, Including this special
course. The class begins on Monday,
January 24, at 8:30 sharp at the Canadian Memorial Tank, 16th Avenue. In
n« much us Mr. Cox spends from 0 to
1*:M0 with tho team the class will start
sharp at 8:30. Hero Is a good chance
to learn to swim cheaply and also to
gain the added privileges of the club,
All those who wish to Join the class
see the secretary, Ous Madeley or the
Vice-President Bob Gllloaple Immediately, as the class will be limited.
On Thursday at 12:15 the Club will
hold its semi-annual meeting ln Arts
104 when plans will be discussed for
the coming term. Any one wishing
to join tbe club and register for the
swimming class may do so.
XB
INFORMATION
TO
STUDENTS
2nd TERM FEES
NOW DUE
All cheques must be certified and made payable to
"The University of British Columbia."
.*1
Arts and Science
Applied Science
Agriculture -
Nursing      -
Teacher Training Course
$50.00
75.00
50,00
50.00
30.00
Last Day for Payment
Jan. 24th, 1927.
F. DALLAS, Bursar. T"
Jf
JANUARY 18th, 1927
THS   13a Y. S S1 ¥
Cheerfully Independent!
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make old age the brightest portion of
your life.
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New Lending Library
just formed at Spencer's
and open for business.
Every book new and
clean.
All popular authors.
New books as soon as
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David Spencer
LIMITED
HOW IT STARTED
Tho Israelites wore dodging the
Egyptians. After plaguing the land
of tho Pyramids and completely spoiling It, they deolded to depart before
they were forcibly ejected.
Pharoah had changed his mind and,
collecting all the available speed cops,
set out ln pursuit of the Israelites.
Moses, the leader of the Jews, came
to the Red Sea and gave the "go"
signal. Tho Red Sea accordingly
opened aad let the one-way traffic
through, Pharoah, following, rushed
forward with his host before the signal changed, to avoid a lengthy detour. Aa he rode forward, some of
the waves came over the edge and
drenched the king to the skin. More
wotness followed until there was quite
a. shower.
"You're all wet," shouted Moaes,
looking back.
More waves came over; then all at
once the sea closed In.
"I'm sunk," exclaimed Pharoah In
dismay.
Kampuf Krax
"We've got 'em all skinned," eald
the Indiane, holding up the bunchee
of eoalpe.
WHODJA?
Prof. F. 0. C. Wood has Instructed
his class to take their hats off before
tho tomb of Jane Austen when they
ko t'\ Winchester Cathedral. After
reading some of her novels, we are
Bure that the English '13 class would
be very pleased to see Jane Austen's
grave
WHODJA7
"This is the etuff dreams are made
of," said Max Cameron ae he ate half
a Cafeteria lemon pie. ..(Ubyssey,
March 8, 1923.   Adapted).
We Invite him to our new cafeteria
to continue his dream life.
WHODJA?
There are still some Freshmen who
think that a Phil. prof, is a bartender.
WHODJA?
Believe il or not, Daniel was lion-
ixed.
LOST—
Phi   Omega  Sorority—Pin,   Wednesday    morning.      Will    finder
please return to booketore,
CORDON ORAIG
(ARTS '18)
RADIO SPECIALIST
COMPLETE LINE OF PARTS
AND SETS.
EXPERT REPAIR DEPARTMENT.
See Me First, Not Last!
Phone, Sey. 6808
637 RICHARDS STREET
DOMINION MARKET
Jackson Bros., Ltd.
NIOHIST OSADS
MIAT, FISH, POULTRY
Clubs and Institutions our
specialties.
Phone, Bay. 1918
4th, Ays,, Weat, at Yew 8t.
QIO. W, JAOKSON, MaiUfftr
«Ya-
i JIM ii ii  iiai
^MUCK-A-MUCK^
''      i.*"S
3B3BEa3S
ESSONDALE ?
That snow flakes fall due to a rapid
condensation of the moisture ln the
considerably rarefied strata of tbe
upper atmosphere Is a fact that contributes directly to Drydon's use of
Satire in his play, "In Momorism,"
which being written by that Italian
automobile export Mollero is a true
example of tlio road maker's art.
Personally 1 disagree with this
theory, but by explaining the effect
or tho PhieHlooene period upon the
Lactic Acid found In Oorgonxola rub-
bur tiros, wo And that a direct disintegration of acntamlnodiasobensene
compounds produces a previous undiscovered offect upon La Comedle
Fruncnlse quand un chlen salslt une
des (Chinese schanta) 1st der haben
sio gesprochen deustche for the immediate removal of the appendix of
a chronic hypochondriac who has
tested the validity of the Inclination
of the plane of the ecllptlo to the
equation kh kjpos enepnve to Itpx-
teupre nt the time of the conquest
of Babylonia by Alexander the Great
in the Golden age of Greece.
Easondale?? Not quite! Only a
crowd of men in the TJ. B. C. Common
Room composed of the following:
1 Science man,
3 Honors In English.
1 Automobile Fiend.
5 Aggies.
2 Geology Students.
4 French Students.
2 Chemistry Students.
1 Chinese Student.
4 German Men,
2 Nursing Grads,
and a sprinkling of Greek, Maths,
Theologans and general darn-fools all
discussing the Christmas Exams.
|    Litany Coroner    [
SNOW-FLAKES
(After (he Recent Weather)
First Flutter
Oh! I do love the snow—
It's so nice!
And the cold frosty breeze,
And the Ice!
Yes, It thrills me to go
And play In tho snow,
And revel and run,
And have lots of fun
Willi the beautiful snow,
It's so nice!
Second Flutter
When the beautiful snow
i.'omes twice,
I'm not quite ho pure
li's so niff ?
When il cliiillt'is my jaws,
\.nl   chllhhiiiH   my  fliiwH
' nd   the  cold  frosty   breeze
t'oinpeN   nn1   lo siii'i'/.i1
^ ml  Ihe slinK of Hie Ice
Mj'ken me shake like Ihe dice—
I'm   be winning  lo doubt
at  It's nice!
Third Flutter
When  the  beautiful  snow
Comes thrice
I begin to be sure
>'h not nice!
When I'm chilled with the snow
From my head to my toe,
'-nd  I feel  I could try
To melt up the snow
The slushy old snow)
WUh cuss-words that flow
ike hot blasts from below
"Yoni lips hitherto pure,
Then I'm certainly sure
That the beastly old snow,
''Ith the freeze r' the breeae,
And the thrill of the chill,
' ml the spice of the Ice,
Is not nice!
THE SIX STAGES
By SAPP
Act
1,—A winning wile,
A sunny smile,
a feather;
A  tiny talk,
A pleasant walk,
together;
Act   II A little doubt,
A playful pout,
capricious;
A merry miss,
A stolen kiss,
delicious;
Act III.—"Von ask mamma,"
"Consult pappa,"
"with pleasure";
And both repent
This rash event,
at leisure,
FABLES FOR FROSH
THE JACK-DAW AND THE
PEACOCK
A Bedtime Story for Little Students
Once up-on a time there was a freshman. He was a very frosh fresh-man
and, there-fore did not know the et-1-
quette of plus fours or bow-ler hats.
Dye and bye that little fresh-man became a Hoph-o-more, upon which he
decked hlm-self in gorg-e-ous raiment
and the fresh-tea said, "Sen,"
He for-got he was syn-thet-lc and
slapped senl-ors on tho back—once.
They looked down their no-ses and
reg-ls-tered scorn and he became as
a grease-spot.
When he re-covered be went back
to where the vur-dant ones dts-played
their ties—re-mem-ber, this was long
ago. Now these smart little boys had
dls-oov-ered that he was not a senior,
not a Jun-l-or—Just a minus quantity and so they were very rude to
blm and chased him away.
Then he tried to re-galn his class
but even they—they were all soph-o-
mores too—would not have him, and
so he joined Scl-ence '30.
Moral:   When you try to hand a
line don't let It be found out.
 «-—»■...      —
AGONY 1
Gosh how my back burns with an
aching pain!
My hands are useless and my wrists
are sore,
My feet are heavy.   What have I to
gain,
Dog walking, ever on this curBed
floor?
Time and again hope gleams before
my eyes,
A  staggering  rush!    A  halt and
then a curse!
The  devil  himself  could  surely  not
devise
A torture worse than this, for none
aro worse.
And   all   about   me   humans   slowly
glide,
And gaze upon me with a baleful
glare
Men?  they are  fiends,  yet  ever by
my side
They screech and chatter.   That Is
why I swear.
At last!  at last!  A  haven and I'm
able
To rush ahead and letting forth a
squeal,
I place my tray and food upon the
table
And now!   Ob boy, I'll have a good
square meal!
—P. H. K.
MORE JOKES ?
OVERHEARD   AT   THE   DANCE
Ails  '20—Look at that dress!
Ails '27—f can't see it, her partner
has his arm around her.
WHODJA?
Sophomore: "A man's an idiot to
he absolutely certain of anything."
Freshman:    "Are you sure of that?"
Sophomore:    "Positively."
WHODJA?
Professor: "Why, sir, have you
left a gap between the land and sea
along the west coast of your map?"
Geography Student: "Because the
tide was out, sir."
WHODJA?
Judge (to a prisoner who was
caught in a gambling house): "You're
a student of the U.B.C.?"
Prisoner:    "Yes, your honor."
Judge: "And you worked as a
blacksmith during the holidays?"
Prisoner:    "Yes, your honor."
Judge: "What were you doing in
the gambllug house when the police
caught you?"
Prisoner: "Only making a bolt for
Ihe door, sir."
Alleged Jokes
Spaghetti should not be oooked too
long. About ten inches Is enough tot
most people.—Columbia Jester.
WHOOJAT
Third Year:   "Did you  ever  tikt
chloroform?"
First Year:   "No. Who teaohea It?*
WHODJA?
Professor:   "What are you doing.
Miss, learning something?"
Miss:   No, sir,   Just   listening  to
you."
WHODJA?
A Disappointed He: "How 00*14
you let that chimneysweep kiss your
She: "Really I don't know aad
can't explain It, but suddenly every
thing went blaok before my eyes."
• id
h!
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queen you'll draw, but
you do Know that a box
oi SAPP CHOCOLATES
will make a hit with hor.
Three cheers and a hamper of Sapp Chocolates for Oeorge Evans. Arts '29, for writing
this ad. Come and get 'em, George Say, we
want ads. from women.
The University
Book Store
Hours :
0 a.m. to fi p.m.
SattirdM)'*), 9 tt.nt, lo I p.m.
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VARSITY SHOES
The Yegg-Man Balloon-Toe Rubber
A supply of these modern rubbers,
made specially for McRobbie's,
came in this week. It is the only
rubber in captivity that will fit the
modem square-toe shoes. Only a
limited quantity in stock at present,
so get yours now for the rainy day.
ie Shoe Co.
563 GRANVILLE ST.
»,S.«iSiH'H SifH  IJS l|.l»>iHiiSiSiiS.iSi'S'iS"S"S'.S'f
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Buy    give best service and
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Students* Parliament
(Continued from Page 1)
the house were suspended and the bill
was given in the seoond reading. Mr.
Premier then rose and read the bill
for the second time as follows:
"Bill No. 1, 1927: an Act establishing
tho system of conducting examinations
In the  University of British Columbia.
"Whereas, tho present system of conducting examinations have proved unsatisfactory; and whereas It leads to
conditions of cramming or intensive
study, and thus places too great a value
on transitory knowledge, which defeats
tho purpose of a university education;
and whereas cognizance should be taken
term. Therefore bo It enacted as
follows:
1. This Act may be cited as the "University Examination Act."
2. That the present system of examinations, as conducted at the University
of British Columbia be abolished.
3. That every atudent be required to
sit for testing on every subject of his
oourse, at four times In each academlo
year while In attendance at this University.
4. That such tests be given during
the months of October, December, February and April of each academic year.
5. That candidates for a dcgroe will
be credited with 40% of the total marks
on their work In the first two years at
the University and 60% on the work
of   the  last   two  years.
fi. That a system of marking the
term's work In such ruses as essays,
translations, etc., lie determined by
the heads of tho different departments
to remit a certain prri't ;itaRo on the
examliiiillon  marks.
7. That all honor students be required to pass special honor examinations
in the .subjects In which they are taking
honors."
The Premier then went on to explain the general purpose of the bill
and the necessity of a drastic change.
He briefly outlined the many defects
of the present system, such as
"cramming," nervousness of the student, and lack of standardization In
marking. In reply to a question by
Mr. Whlteley he defined the purposes
of education.
Mr. Whlteley, In a speech commenting on the BUI, showed that universities fail to make students think. He
suggested an alternative method to
the proposed remedy by tho means of
a ten minute grill.
Questions and answers then flew
thick and fast. Mr. Sargent, for example, demanded whether the government proposed to introduce standardized tests and was answered in the
affirmative.
In the end, as time was short, tbe
debate was adjourned and the house
rose,
On Wednesday, January 19, the bill
will be (llstiussed tn detail, and taken
up clause by clause. The opposition
Intends to amend the bill drastically,
and It Is rumored that a vote of "no
confidence" will be proposed. The
fate of the government Is at
stake, and a full attendance of both
sides Is promised. The Reform Party
will hold a party caucus as soon as
possible, announcement of which will
lie made on the notice boards.
Lost, at. hus terminus, at Sasamat,
a small brown purse. Finder please
return to the Bookstore or to Phyllis
Freeman, Arts '29.
i .....................i.■."«.■.■•.-.■■.'..■ti.a'i.'.......a.."<'.■♦
Sportorial   I
A rather ragged exhibition of basketball greeted the very minute crowd
that had .the Y.M.O.A. to themselves
on Saturday to watch Varsity trim
the Qrads 80 • 30. At no time were
the B.A. boys dangerous. They played listlessly and Indifferently. It was
a grand exhibition of bat ball only
Varsity were a little better than the
Grade. The half time score stood
18 • 6 for Varsity.
Neither the Varsity quintet nor the
Qrads are a shadow of the teams that
gave a fighting exhibition In an opening season clash this year, Laying
off, without Intensive pructtco for
ditys at a time, will wreck the best
hoop ftvu that were ever gathered In
any city town or siding west of At-
luntlu seaboard. It is not the fault of
thu team to any groat degree however,
With a gymnasium so far away that
tho boys are nil tired out when they
appear on the practice floor, British
Columbia can never hope to have great
hoop teams lu this day and age.
British Columbia plays basketball
for a longer season than any college
on tbe Pacific coast, We turn out a
unm that would take a neat trimming
from the last placing team in the
Walla Walla Valley scholastic league
It all bolls down to the sedlmeut, we
must have a gymnasium or we must
die in the attempt.
Individually this college has as just
as good material as Washington, Oregon Aggies or any of thorn.
As a team we have a fine aggregation but they cannot travel from here
to the end of the earth to cram in a
tew minutes practice and then not expect them to be of Juvenile Sunday
School calibre.
Basketball of today is the greatest
game played Indoors except hockey.
It is a game of skill and brains plus
a tremendous amount of practice.
Washington practices hard enough to
make an Eskimo presplre. British
Columbia manages to get a paltry 20
points to 70 for Washington. That
shows what practice does.
Some may argue that we have not
the baskethull talent on this side ot
the boundary that they have ln the
American schools. That Is wrong: we
have every bit as good. Evan Lewis, a
New Westminster boy and a star ln
the hoop game ln the Royal city not
so long ago, was one ot the best that
the Husky school had for a long time.
He captained tho Purple and Qold
to a conference title two years running aud he learned his basketball in
B. C.
Many other incidents could be cited.
It is the constant practicing plus good
coaching that builds great teams and
ln order to practice we must have a
gymnasium at our back door. How
about It?
Varsity Boxers to
Invade Washington
Varsity boxers are fadt getting
ready to invade the Husky citadel late
In February and by all the dope that
can be obtulned Ihey have a potent
squad of mitt maulers lined up.
The pressing need so far in a big,
hoist, rous boy welching between 16.ri
iinil llir> lbs. who Is willing to don the
padded mattresses and quarrel with
some chosen play-mate.
So far Ibis year the following men
are .showing up to advantage at the
V.A.A.C. gym: Charles Woodbury In
the US-lb. class, Cross In the 135-lb.
class, Kask ln Ihe 14ti-lb. class, Hot-
wood In the 175-lb .class, Jackson and
Lang in the heavy division are all
showing up well and should give a
good account of themselves,
Two years ago Varsity faced the
Washington school and won two out
of six fights. They should have won
three out of the lot but over-eagerness cost a B. C. boy ln tho lightweight class a title on a foul. That
year they were weak in the heavy
classes. Thla year they are strong so
It looks a good year for the mitt
sport.
Any man wishing to try out should
be at the V.A.A.C. gym for a dally
workout or as often as possible. The
gym Is under Athletic Park at Fifth,
near Granville.
Most of the men turn out between
f> ami 6 p.m.
CROSS COUNTRY RUN
A new feature of this year's track
programme will be the Innovation of
cross country running. To Carl Barton, star Varsity two mller, goes the
credit of fostering this branch of the
track game. Ho has explored and
mapped a One course ihat measures
Just under two miles. Starting at the
training shacks the course runs west
to the Science nulldlng corner, there
It turns south on Hie Aggie road and
down to Marine Drive. Then It follows the small rop.d east, forty yards
of brush are crossed and then over
the truck road, the narrow stretch of
Maoris Are Coming !
The Maoris are coming/ Are you
ready Varsity? Yes, Varsity is ready,
even now, but by February 1st they
will be more than ready. It has been
suggested that Varsity meet the tourists on Wednesday, February 2nd.
Should such plans formulate every
student at this school would have no
excuse for not being on hand since
there is some talk of the entire afternoon being given over to student demonstration.
As outlined last week Varsity has
shown such wonderful Improvement
In the last three games that, the highest hopes are being entertained for
the greatest battle In the history of
Internationa! rugby In Canada,
In the Maoris Varsity faces a team
that possessoH all round speed. To
cope with speed for the entire game
the Blue and Qold will havo to be In
perfect condition aud tho student body
cun count on Farquharson and Tyrwhltt attending to that side of the
question.
Looking back on the 1025 game with
All Blacks and tho Vancouver Rep,
It has been freely said that a comparatively slow heavy team pitted
against such an aggregation wns a
grout mistake. They were slow following up the play at all tlmos and
even when they did seouro the ball
thoy were too slow to act quickly.
The Rep. demonstrated clearly that
weight was not essential In rugger
unless it was combined with considerable speed.
Varsity seems to have solved that
difficulty this year. They have a
fairly heavy scrum but it 1b on the
play all the time, and speedy enough
to copo with fast forward play. Men
like Noble and Mahon are ideal forwards. Mahon is fast for a forward
and Noble has been continually overhauling some of the faster threes in
tho last few games.
Sparks, that rangy veteran of inura-
orable rugby tussles Is a second
Rrownlee, were he faster, Away
back ln the balmy days when King
Oeorge and King Edward were fighting it tooth and nail for high school
rugby supremacy, Sparks was a tower
of defence on the Blue and White
team. He lm« seen Domoney, Carlisle,
Ternan and nil the great lights at
their best and played with many of
them. Thus experience alone will be
his greatest asset when the whistle
toots on February 2. His height alone
gives him a decided advantage In the
llne-outs and ho is a small tractor on
the scrum. His condition Is always
the very best and his fighting ability
is a by-word in local rugby.
Rowing Club Gets Away
to a Quick Start
The Unlveralty Rowing Club held
Its first practice this term when Captain Phil. Wainman coxed a crow in
the "Washlngtorla" to the C.N.R. pier
and back. The water was agreeably
smooth, but the fog, rain and driftwood were hardly enjoyed by the
crew, especially the cox.
Coach "Bimbo" Sweeney was unable
to go out with the crew so the cox
did all the shouting, and if anyone
thinks that "cox'' Is a contraction of
"coax" let. him come down to Coal
Harbour some day when the VIII. goes
out.
The crew showed u lustiness gained by being out of the bout during
the Inst month. The shell was very
unsteady, and the men were incliutfl
to hurry the stroke, as It Is easier to
row at 30 strokes to the minute than
at 20. Practice, however, will improve
them a groat deal; and, under the tble
coaching of Mr. Sweeney, the VIII.
should be in fine shape to meot Washington.
The following made up the crow:
Thurston (bow), 2. Hartley, 3. Allar
dyce, 4. Ward, 5. Lang, 6. Millar, 7.
Towgood, Madeley, (stroke) and Wain-
man, (cox). Millar and Towgood
were on the VIII last year, and are
shaping up well. Ward rowed ln the
second VIII. last spring, and with
coaching and practice ought to turn
out well. Lang is a Freshman but has
rowed before, and with his height and
weight is an excellent addition to the
rowing club. Thurston, Hartley and
Madeley rowed on the tackwelght IX.
last, year, and, although light, have
had more experience than tho rest of
the crow. Allardyce la another light
man, but he too has a backing of experience.
A few men were also coached In
"tub" pairs as possible material for
the  VIIr.
Although no definite date has yet
been fixed for tho R. C. • Washington
race, it will probably he held in the
end  of  March.
Catfish! DoQtl.h! Deviltish! Shark 1
BUTTERFLY B0W8  sure raise
eome epark
Set 'em I get 'em! get 'em now I
We have got 'emI raw! raw! raw!
$1.25
10% Discount to Students.
"Your Bosom Friend"
Golds Haberdashery
686 ROBSON ST.
AT GRANVILLE
ploughed Held brings the runners
back to Ihe training shacks. This offers uthletes an opportunity to start
and finish at the shacks. The first
run will be Wednesday, January Stlth,
at 3 p.m. This run will terminate In
the big cross country event early In
February, when It has been suggested hat each faculty have learns the
first 24 men to count In the scoring
Wash
Someone
from the Us ?
The other day one of our
fellows stated that 1010
handles only good quality
nnd he must have In some
way upset ths King's English for apparently he gave
the Improsslon that this Is a
high priced store. All we
know about It Is what be
says, he said. We don't
know who the man Is he
was talking to. If It happens to be any of the men
at the University we would
like him to come in and 1010
oan show prices on fine
goods that may be surprising.
X
Lisle Fraser
Sporting Goods
1 A^A GRANVILLE
1 \Jam\\J STREET
sssmmsmsmsessem
>*******>*****
VARSITY
I PICTURES
top notch ::
- QUALITY •
$7.00 Dozen
$4.00 yi Dozen
IP
Bndgman's
Studio
413 Granville St ;;
♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦■♦»»t»»!
SHSSfc.
REMINGTON
PORTABLE
TYPEWRITERS
Compact as a waton -a
necessity for everyone
who has writing to do.
$5.00 down and $5.00
a month wjlll buy one of
these wonderful machines
with oarrylng case.
Very Special Price to
Varaity Students.
AT THE UNIVERSITY BOOKSTORE
  OR 	
Remington Typewriter (o.
856 8EYM0UR STREET
Phone, Sey. 2408
You will enjoy your lunch
the more if our Bread is
used.
Canadian Window Bakeries
LIMITHD
Evans & Hastings
-:•     -:-     PIONEER     -:•     •:■
BETTER QUALITY PRINTERS
Price* Right
<*JP
a   is-vias  iuecis»»ui   IUSINISI  casus
IN    VANCOUVI*    fSOVIi   CONCIUIIVUV
THAT  Wt All   MVOSIO  MOSI   THAN
OTMist tv tn) iiAcrise rame
WHIN   THIV   PISISI   THII*
NONIV'S HOSTS.
Magailnes, AnsMale,
Osaoe Programmes, Legal Ferns.
Sooial Stationery,
Poeter Work,
General Commercial Printing
See at be/or* ordering eluwhere.
Phone, Sey. 180      576 8eymeer St,

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