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The Ubyssey Nov 1, 1932

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 Issued Twice Weekly by the Students' Publications Board of The University of British Columbia
VOL. XV.
VANCOUVER, B. C„ TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 1, 1032
No. 11
February 1
Fellowship
ZeroJHour
Canadian Students
Offered Research
By Royal Society
Ftbruary 1st It tht last day on
which applications wttl be reoatotd
for 1188 Royal Society FtUowshlps.
These fellowships, ten of which art
endowed annually for a period of five
years by tht Carnegie Corporation
are designed to enable Canadian studtnts to carry on original research,
and are open on equal terms to men
and women under 82 years of ago.
They Include two to French students
of Literature, History, Anthropology,
Sociology, PoUtical Economy and tl-
Utd subjects: two to EngUsh ttudento
of the stmt subjects: two to students
of Mathematical, Chemical and Physical Sciences and two to studtnts of
Geological Sciences.
An appUcant should be a graduate
of a Canadian University or CoUege
and except in special casts, should
havt obtained tht master's degree
and preferably one or more years beyond that degree.
FeUowships are awarded for 1 year
but in exceptional casts may bt held
for a second year. Tht work la to bt
carried on at some Canadian institution, and tht student is required to
devote at least nine months of the
year to the object of his award, and
to send to the Board a detailed midyear report of his work.
Further information wiU be posted
and applications and regulations may
be obtained from the Registrar.
90 Soup Songs
Sung Sloppily
Says   Student
By BOYD AGNEW
The only article on the menu of
our cafeteria that has received an
increase in demand is water. For
aqua pura has jumped to popularity
by leaps and bounds, or maybe by
slurps and gurgles. Next ln demand
comes soup. Two kinds are ladled
out every noon hour at five cents
per bowl with- crackers free; this and
perhaps a nickel sandwich make up
the lunch of the   average   student.
This represents a drop of 50 percent over last year's quota. But
even that is not the worst, more students than ever before are bringing
their entire lunches to school, and
these non-paying customers clutter
up the caf by the scores. "And leave
their lunch papers lying around the
tables instead of putting them where
they belong." Mr. UnderhUl, manager of the cafeteria, added. This
means extra work for the staff which
could easily be prevented with a little care on the part of the students.
Collegers are hanging on to their
extra dimes and nickels these days.
Sales in cones and chocolate bars
have dropped at an alarming rate.
But in spite of these discouraging
facts the university cafeteria is able
to maintain the best twenty-five cent
meal hi the city, says Mr. UnderhUl.
Four kinds of fresh vegetables are
there for the luncher to choose from
with several varieties of main
courses to go with them. "We aren't
serving this special at six o'clock
yet," says Mr. UnderhUl, "but wait
till the end of November comes
around." At which time a sudden
rush of awakening Varsityites crowd
the library and labs until long after
bedtime, and need no small sustenance to cope with the increased mental concentration. It is a fact that
examinations are a bigger boost to
business than to the students' spirits.
Until then the students will continue to gulp down soup at the alarming rate of ninety bowls per day!
Bool
I'm Haunting
Yuh!
Says Shadow To
Jean McDiarmid
"Miss Fortune, alntcher con-
shenet troubUn' yet"
"Oh, Misi Fortune, what
about ya conshence?"
"Alatcha gotta conshence,
Miss FortuneT"
These anonymous notes a la
Harold Teen have been floating Into tht "MY1 and Mac's"
section of the women's letter
rack, and tht secretary of Arts
'88 is the object of their venom.
,In other words, Jean McDiarmid is having whatever
conscience tht posestes wracked by those anonymous notes,
which art caused by htr having
"cooked" a certain draw In tht
senior class ceremony.
in an interview to tht press,
Mka McDiarmid stated that she
"wUl never repent" This was
on Wednesday of last weak,
"I did this for the kick I got
out of it, and I don't care who
knows," she declared with considerable emphasis.
A few days later the press obtained a second interview fsom
Miss McDiarmid, and a vtry
different woman she appeared.
2% was wan and pale and bar
lift had lost Its vitality. She was
i a changed woman.
"They're haunting mt, those
horrible notes," she sobbed, trying to hide her nervousness behind a handkerchief 2x8. "I
wish I had never been elected
Secretary of Arts'33," she wailed with common female impetuosity.
To the writer of the anonymous notes, we would say that
he or she has done a noble
deed, but now that Jean's nerve
has broken before their terrific onslaught, we suggest that
you cease.
Unemployed   Militia
Established In
Varsity Area
Three hundred unemployed militia
men were established this morning
in the University Endowment Lands
Are* Under the direction of Army
Officers, a small village of tents has
been erected to accomodate the soldiers. The encampment is located near
the corner of ChanceUor Boulevard
and Eighth Avenue.
The programme for the winter will
be mairdy road-building and grading
in the University section of West Point
Grey.
The project has been arranged
through the cooperation of local militia and the Provincial Government
The reason for selecting only military
men for the camp, according to authorities, is that the camp wiU be
under miUtary discipline and wiU be
a means of keeping the non-permanent
militia together.
The work of these 300 men should
do a great deal in improving the appearance of University lands.
j      Imperial Debaters
NEIL PERBY
NeU Invaded the U.B.C. Campus
from Victoria last yttr, and haa
since been prominent. Ht holds tht
position of President of L8JE. on
CouncU. Many wUl remember with
pleasure his appearance in the Musical Society's spring production of
last year, "HM.S. Pinafore." He re-
ctntly registered a win In tht Parliamentary Forum debate on the
Imperial Debate subject.
—Photo by Artona Studios
VIC DBYE1
Economies 8 students of 1 est
yttr wiU remember Victor's fervent
discourses on tht advantages of a
socialistic state in the Library basement, and for those who didn't take
the above mentioned course, lt need
only be remarked that Vie was t
member of the IntercoUeglate Debates team last yttr. He guides the
destinies of the Parliamentary Forum
as an energetic president this year.
C'mon Out,
Arnold, Y'Can't
Fool 'Em!
The Ubyssey is In receipt of
a most unusual letter from Mr.
Frank J. Edwards of "Tht
Gateway," official pubUcttlon
of the University of Alberta.
It seems that Mr. Edwards
wants a "cut" — photograph,
picture, tin-type, of t student
at the U. of A. named Henderson.
It further seems that this
mysterious Mr. Henderson hat
at tomt timt or tht other attended the University of British
Columbia, and, to judge from
the latter, ht is a basketball
player of tomt repute*
"The Gateway" it desirous of
giving publicity to this Henderson, now working for a degree
of Bachelor of Education at tht
Alberta institution.
And so we pose the question—
has anybody here heard of a
basketball player named Henderson who is attending the U.
of A. under tne neat and aU-
conctaling cognomen ef "Poppa"?
Neil Perry and Vic Dryer
To Meet British Debaters
Parliamentary Forum Pair To Represent
Varsity—November 22 Date
Poppy Day Slated
For Next Friday
Next Friday, November 4, another
U.B.C. tradition wUl be commemorated when a group of Freshettes, selected by the Womens' Undergraduate
Society! wUl sell poppies in aid of
the Returned Soldiers.
The Freshettes wUl accept any
price over ten cents for the flowers
and are confident that the .students
wiU ''come through" in memory of
those Over There.
Resolved "That the British Empire
must follow the Moscow road" promises to be an interesting and Uve
topic for thc debate scheduled for
November 22 at which the British
team will meet U. B. C.(
The Parliamentary Forum is putting
up Neil Perry and Vic Dryer to uphold the affirmative for Varsity.
Strong opposition is expected from
the visiting team which is made up of
graduates, one from Edinburgh University and the other from Wales.
The home team has the privilege
of defining what is meant by the system of state controlled industry which
Russia has developed.
They will stress the possibilities of
equal opportunities under government
controlled Industries. Some reasons
will be detailed why the British Empire should not continue under its
present system in the existing economic conditions.
The scene of the debate has.not
yet been decided upon but it wUl
probably take place in the Vancouver
Hotel.
SHE NEVER WENT NEAR THE SHOWER-YET!
17 FROSH OUT OF 250 MAY BE ATHLETES!
Arte Seniors
Cavort
At Georgia
The soft swish of silken gowns
mixed with the quiet scraping of
shoes on a polished floor as Arts '33
held their class party in the Aztec
Room, Hotel Georgia, Friday evening.
Despite Council's edict of informality, dinner jackets and long gloves
predominated as the staid seniors
cast aside their traditional gloom and
made merry to the tunes of Harold
King's Orchestra.
Dainty sandwiches and cakes were
served in the supper interval in the
York and Patrician rooms. Dean
Buchanan usurped the pourer's honors In the Patrician room, pouring
out the liquid refreshment in truly
professional style.
After the close of the festivities at
the Georgia, thirty or forty couples
invaded the Journalists' Cabaret
where the fun was fast and furious.
Patrons for the class party were
Dean and Mrs. Buchanan, Dean M.
L. Bollert, Dr. W. A. Carrothers, and
Professor Cook.
U.B.C. freshmen are pecuUarly free
from Athlete's Foot! The recently
concluded health examinations reveal
that only 17 out of 290 freshmen examined suffer from Absorbine Junior's pet abomination. Incldently,
student opinion is that A.J. is about
useless a curative as Hecate's
concoction of toes of newts and lips
of tartars, et al. But if this has* disillusioned you remember the Health
Authorities have discovered that sodium thlosulphate solution does the
trick.
At tests In a Californian University,
53 percent were found to have the
notorious parasite adhering to their
extreme nether portions. This started the U.B.C. investigations of men
and women.    (Tht number of wo
men with tht infection was 0, but
confession appears to have been arbitrary for them.)
In an interview to the Ubyssey,
Mrs. Lucas, of the University Health
Service. suppUed the above, information. The infection, she stated, was
caused through treading on floors
of bathrooms, etc., barefoot.
Speaking of infection, Mrs. Lucas
repudiated statements appearing recently ln a city paper concerning
kissing promiscuously. She denied
having stated that kissing was harmless, or that handshakes were dangerous. Any human contact was liable to cause infection, including
kissing, she explained, only it can
not be checked even by the presence
of a chaperon.
The Four Square Gospel?—By McLeod
LOST—Small dark blue leather change
purse. It had some "Slacks" and bus
tickets and change in it. Please return to Mary Darnbrough.
LOST—Blue umbrella, crooked handle.
Lost on the Campus. Notify Alice
Davidson via the letter rack.
COLLEGIATE BONERS
"In spring the fish go up the river
to spoon."
"An American must either be born
in America or neutralized."
"A Latin word has as many syllables as it has values and  diptongs."
Vancouver    Institute
Hears Prof. Spencer
On Locust Plagues
x 	
Research in the interior of the province during the past few summers
has enabled the U. B. C. Entymolo-
gical Department to prevent a very
serious locust plague, it was learned by the members of the Vancouver
Institute. Saturday night.
Prof. G. J. Spencer of the department of zoology traced the history of
locusts, showed their occurence and
discussed their habits and the means
of their extermination. He told of their
mode of breeding, the great masses
of eggs which each locust lays, and
(Please  turn  to Page  Two)
No Music Makes
Pep Meet Flop
The Pep Meeting ln the Auditorium
at noon on Friday did not hesitate
to voice its feelings when the orchestra was. reported missing. This outburst seemed to exhaust the audience,
however, and Uttle enthusiasm could
be aroused, in spite of the efforts of
Lyle Stewart and his assltants. Apart
from a chorus of "coo-coo' and Low-
dah!" from the peanut gallery the
yeUs struck a happy medium between
a whisper and a conversational buzz|
A sosne decorated with two palm
trees and one cheer leader in a straw
hat aroused considerable interest and
this opportunity was taken to intro-
dure a new basketball yeU.
Songs were more popular and the
assembly sang with real spirit. The
"Hulabaloo" was perfect except for j
a variation in the third line of the
chorus, probably due to a seam In
the screen, or a mistiness in the lantern slide. "Hail to the Gold and
Blue" has become more familiar, and
was a decided success.
COMING EVENTS
ITESDAY-
Arts *34-'33, Auditorium, 6-9,
Homecoming rehearsal, 12-1.
Outdoor Club meeting, Ap. Sc.
BOO,
WEDNESDAY-
' Players' Club tryouts, Auditorium, noon.
Inter • Scholastic    Canadian
Rugby, U. B. C, 3:00 p.m.
Senior "A" Basketball, Arena,
New Westminster.
THURSDAY-
Freshman Theatre Night, 8:30
p.m.
FRIDAY-
Grad. Supper,, Caf., 6:30 p.m.
Theatre   Night,   Auditorium,
8:30 p.m.
T
Whimster
Outlines
Program
Homecoming Plans
Announced) Stadium
Ceremony Saturday
Homecoming week-end wUl be Initiated on Thursday night next when the
Freshmen wUl crowd eagerly Into
the Auditorium to enjoy tht skits fret
of charge. A charge of 28 cents win
be made to aU studtnts attending tht
performances tn Friday night There
will be a gap in the proceedings as
far as the Grada are concerned, for
the Thoth baUet of tender memory
will be among tht missing. However,
skits by the Players' Club, Musical
Society, the Freeh, Sophomores, Juniors, Seniors, etc., wiU fiU up thit programme.
A supper, which is being held in
the Caf. for the entertainment of the
Grads., begins at 640 Friday evening.
Judging by the events of last yttr, lt
should bt a hilarious occasion.
On Saturday, btfort tht gamt, BUI
Whimster wiU open the new Stadium
with a short ceremony. Tht gamt
between 'Varsity and Occasionals Is
to be the first big gamt held on tht
ntw field. A good game has been predicted and a large attendance is hoped for.
After tht gamt tht Women's Undergrad Tea Dance in the Peter Pan
Ballroom wiU be tht center of attraction. This event is to be a "Dutch
Treat", and the proceeds wiU go towards the Women's Union Building
fund.
Sunday morning there wiU be a
special service at St. Andrew's Wesley
Church. Dr. Brewing wiU conduct
it, the subject matter being chosen
with regard to Homecoming.
Tickets for the dress rehearsal will
be issued to Freshmen at the Quad
box-office on Wednesday and Thursdays. Students attending Friday night
will pay at the door.
A complete programme for the week
end follows:
Thursday—Dress rehearsal in the
Auditorium. Freshmen admitted frea,
of charge,
Friday—Grad's supper in the Caf.,
6:30 p.m. 8:30 p.m. Theatre night,
Auditorium.
Saturday—Stadium opening by BUI
Whimster. 2:30 p.m. Rugby, Varsity vs.
Occasionals, at the Stadium. 4:00 p.m.
Tea Dance in the Peter Pan Ballroom.
Sunday—10:45 a.m. Church service
at St. Andrew's Wesley Church.
Speaker: .Dr. Brewing.
Exchange Views
BV NANCY MILES
POTENT PIGGER'S PUBLICATION
PRODUCES PATRONYMIC PLAT
—Oregon Emerald
Puhleaze, Mr. Henunlngway.
STUDENTS HAVE AMPLE
FUNDS FOR AMUSEMENT
—Toronto Varsity
Oh! Name three.
INITIATIONS ARE DYING
ACCORDING TO STUDENTS
—Toronto Varsity
It's not the initiation, Its the initiates.
HUNTER LOSES FOUR PLAYERS
* —The Muhsette
We got some, but you should have
seen the ones mat got away.
COLLAPSES IN BATHTUB WITH
BUTLER AT KEYHOLE
—The Idaho Argnaut
Her first sUp.
LETTERMAN'S CLUB
ELECTION POSTPONED
—Exchange
And again the market stabilises.
PROPOSAL TO MAKE
STUDENTS PAY ADMISSION
FEES   IS SHELVED
—McMaster Silhouette
Oh! The futility of it all!
SIGS ARE WINNER IN
HECTIC    BATTLE
—Exchange
Nature In the raw Is seldom mUd.
FRESHMEN PUNISHED
BY CUSTOMS COURT
—Haverford News
Just an old Spanish custom. Page Two
THE UBYSSEY
Tuesday, November 1, 1932
Ofe llbpsaj
(Member C.I.P., P.I.P.A.)
Telephone: Point Grey 206
Issued twice weekly by the Student Publications Board of tiie Alma Mater
Society of the University of British Columbia, Vancouver, B.C.
MaU Subscriptions: 82.00 per year Campus Subscriptions: 21.00 per year
ED1TOR-IN-CHIEF-F. St. John Madeley *
SENIOR EDITORS
Tuesday: Stuart Keate. Friday: Norman Hacking.
Sport Editor: Day Washington
News Manager: Frances Lucas
Associate Editors i Archie Thompson, Pat Kerr.
Associate Sport Editors: Arnold White and Christie Fletcher.
Assistant Editors: Virginia Cummings and Jack Stanton.
Literary Editor: Kay Crosby.
Feature, Edlton Guy S. Palmer
Exchange Editor: Nancy Miles.
Office Assistant: Janet Hlgginbotham.
REPORTORIAL STAFF
Gtntral: Boyd Agnew,  Zoe Browne-Clayton, Mary Cook, John Cornish,
Darrel Gomery, David Jacobsen, Jeanne Lakeman-Shaw, Ruth Madeley
Nancy  Miles,  Esperance Blanchard,  Dick  Elom,  Doris McDiarmid,
W. H. Birmingham, Edgar Vlck, R. Roberts, Ted Madeley,
Miller Mason.
Sport:  Jimmy Moyes, CoUn Mime,  Ted Wilkinson,  Dick Briggs,  Frank
Thorneloe, Harry Jackson, Dick Elson, Eleanor Band, Boyd Agnew.
BUSINESS STAFF
Busmeas Manager: Reg. Price. Circulation Manager« Murray Miller.
Business Assistant: Myles Ritchie.
Circulation Assistants: C. Tompktnson, J. Balcombe, Sid Aqua
TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 1, 1932
NOT WANTED
Smebody has pulled a boner. All arrangements were made
for a Canadian Rugby pep meeting last Friday and when the students were all seated there was found to be no orchestra. Investigation revealed the fact that neither Lyle Stewart or
Gordon Hilker, of the Pep Club, were responsible for the failure of the performers to appear.   „
Obviously somebody was. Out of courtesy his name will
not be mentioned. It appears, however, that he was to make
all arrangements with the cooperation of the Pep Club. Plana
were drawn up. application for the auditorium was made and
passed, announcement was made in the Ubyssey, and the students turned up.
Pep meetings in the good old days were something to rave
about. During the last few years they have steadily depreciated both in talent and presentation. And now comes the last
straw. A pep meeting which is an absolute flop. The person
who organized, or promised to organize, the recent fiasco, should
make some acknowledgement of his blame.
It appears that he left the University at eleven o'clock and
went to a show at one of the downtown theatres, not returning
till two in the afternoon. College spirit, if it produces this type
of flibbertigibbet, is not wanted at U.B.C.
S. O. S. — ECHO, O.K.!
In the last issue of the Ubyssey there appears a news item
concerning the voluntary help given by students and others,
which has made it possible to keep the efficiency of the Library
up to its previous standard.
The Ubyssey wishes to point out to the student body if it
were not for the altruistic efforts of these eighteen individuals,
the usefulness of the institution would be materially lessened.
Some recognition should be made through the official governing body of the Alma Mater Society.
We are tempted to say that this student effort heralds the
dawn of a new university spirit. Eighteen members of the Alma
Mater Society, either active or honorary are giving their own
valuable time with the object of keeping un the good name and
efficiency of the university which has done so much for them.
Heretofore students have confined their attempts at "college
spirit" to cheering teams, and except in the cases of the various
campaigns which have been carried out with varying success,
have paid no attention to .the university as such.
The President, the Library Committee, and Mr. Ridington
and his staff have all expressed their appreciation, and now
it is up to the students to make some formal acknowledgement
to those who have put the university before self.
VAN. INSTITUTE
(Continued from Page One)
the rapidity with which they multiply.
The name, "locusts" is applied to a
great swarm of grasshoppers. These
breed In favorable places such as
fields of stubble and after attaining
very large numbers, for some unknown reason start to swarm. Their
starving multitudes eat everything
in the way, grain, leaves, bark off
trees, paint, curtains, bedding and
even the waU-paper off the waUs in
the houses. When swarming they are
practically Impossible to klU and then
only at great cost. The U. B. C. staff
has, however, discovered some much
cheaper and better methods than are
now used.
During 1931, locusts over-ran 30,600
square miles of farming lands In the
middle-west of the U. S. A., and did
unaccountable damage. In the Argentine, the land is denuded yearly
and blighted by the pests, principally due to. the lack of the knowledge
of locust control. In Africa and Asia,
there are great waste tracts of ground
where the locust breeds and periodically destroy everything. In fact, they
occur In such numbers that the natives
must use them for food. EconomicaUy
they are of the greatest importance,
costing B. C. nearly 860,000 in one year
alone. They swarm here once every
seven years.
Students are reminded that these
lectures are free. The subjects are
chosen for their general Interest and
the speakers for their knowledge and
wit
SECOND DIVISION WINS
(Continued from Page Four)
winning   streak   by   trouncing   the
powerful   Ex-Tech   squad,   11-0   at
Douglas Park Saturday afternoon.
Several New Players
Johnny Grubbe, Carey and Pugh
turned ln splendid performances for
their initial game of the year. After
about fifteen minutes of play Davidson went over for the first try. Late
In the half Sanderson carried the bail
thirty-five yards. At the scrum
down Pyle secured and crossed the
line to boost the Blue and Gold total
to six points. Carey converted from
a difficult position to make the half
time score 8-0.
Sanderson Plays For Tech
At half time Bobby Gaul shifted
Sanderson over to Ex-Tech who were
playing one man short. Just before
the final whistle blew, Max Stewart
ended a nice three run to go over
near the flag.
Second Division line-up: J. Grubb,
M. Stewart, Pugh, Sanderson, Carey,
White; Pyle, Stead, Davidson, Made-
ley, Johnston, Sumner, Wood, Ark-
vright, Weld;  MacDonald.
Judge: "How far was the man from
you when you first saw him?"
Accused. "About ten yards."
Judge: "And you couldn't stop?"
Accused:  "I  had stopped—he was
ten yards behind."
The freshette was making a brave
attempt to sing "I"U hang my harp on
a weeping wiUow tree," but she couldn't hit the top note.
After two or three shots at it—aU
misses—a cruel Senior growled out,
"Try hanging it on a lower branch."
—*
Occasional Observations
by FRANCES LUCAS
Tips On How To Be A
Successful Unemployed
Dr. Carrothers must be finding it heavy sledding already
on his Homeless Men Relief
Committee. A news note reports that the very day the
committee was named the organized unemployed took the
matter in hand with characteristic vim and firmness, submitting a detailed questionnaire on just what arrangements were being made for
their benefit; whether tobacco
and food were to be provided
in the camps; in what quantities; whether there was to be
registration; if so, for what purpose; and so on.
The unemployed committee
also scored the relief commissioners rather heavily for not
replying to their questionnaire
on more decorous note-paper,
and in general made it clearly
understood that they, the unemployed, were going to stand
no nonsense whatever.
What an example for students in the various economics
courses! Why not a questionnaire submitted to the department asking whether cigarettes
and chewing gum are to be distributed in lectures, and in
what quantities; demanding the
exact purpose of registration;
and criticizing the method of
note-giving and in particular
the examinations set in those
courses?
What a sinecure we have all
been overlooking! It needed the
courageous example of the
other unemployed to give us
our lead. But probably even
now we shall be too careless of
our rights as Unemployed, to
do anything about it. We shall
continue greedily to take notes
given to us in any kind of style,
in our spiritless fashion, to plug
for exams in the same old way,
and even—ye Gods!—possibly
manifest a little gratitude to the
professors who teach in, and
the government that supports,
this institution.
Not so our enlightened brethren down town. They know
what's coming to them as dependents of the province, and
by gum, they're out to get it.
t   *   *
I notice my crumby colleague, the College Bred across
the way, is stealing my stuff,
and—worse and worse—doing
it better.. I have warned him
off the field of versification, but
he appears unawed by my
threats. It reminds me of the
old days when "Spirit Rap-
pings" used to flagellate "Fun
and Fundamentals." This column has a long line of distinguished predecessors.
On Columns and Columns
"F. & F." flourished two
years ago, in the regime of Ronald Grantham, as did R.A.P.'s
"Rappings." The former professed not to be a column at
all, as indeed it often proved itself, in merit if not in content.
It was an over-flow from the
Literary" Department, but at
times emerged from the domains of Euterpe to go Muck
and worse, and to get squelch-
ingly reproved by the brilliant
psychist on the third page.
These rather spasmodic ventures were succeeded the next
year by what proved to many
the most worth-while feature of
the whole paper. The erstwhile
editor-in-chief, now a sedate
education student, seized his
pen and puffed his pipe, and
produced a column from their
inspiration. With a regularity
which was balm to the heart of
the make-up staff, he turned in
CLASS AND CLUB NOTES
i
CLASSICS CLUB
A meeting of the Classics Club was
held on Wednesday evening, October
26, at the home of Mr. James Stobie,
4474 Twelfth Avenue West. A large
number of members were present,
including Dr. Todd and Miss Auld.
The subject for the evening was
"Recreation in the Ancient World,"
and two very interesting and well-
planned papers were given, the first
by Miss May FairfouU on Greek
Sports, with lantern slides of Olym-
pia, and the second by Mr. Ernest
Costain on Roman Sports. The discussion which foUowed centered
ruond a comparison of the conceptions of sport held by these two peoples. Later in the evening songs
were sung ln Latin from the "Carmine Pupularla" and refreshments
were served by members of the Club
under the supervision of Miss M.
Stobie.
LA CAUSERIE
La Causerie meets tonight, November 1, at 8 o'clock at the home of
the honorary president, Mme. Darlington, 1803 McDonald Street. Take
No. 4 car to McDonald and walk
North two blocks.
The membership is now closed,
with the Inclusion of the following:
K. Stewart, D. Robinson, M. Jenkins,
M. Stephenson, M. 'Wilson, N. Hars-
ton and N. Ramsay.
International Relations Club
The next meeting of the club wUl
be held at the heme of Prof. H. F.
Angus, 4980 Marguerite street, at 8
p.m. Wednesday, November 2. Dr.
W. A. Carrothers wUl speak on
"Lausanne." The discussion group
on International Affairs wUl meet on
Wednesday from 3 to 4 p.m. In the
S.C.M. room, Auditorium 812.
LETTERS CLUB
The Letters' Club will meet tonight at 8 o'clock at the home of
Mrs. T. Larsen, 1235 Twenty-seventh
avenue West. Margaret Black will
give a paper on "Parody."
LA CANADIENNE
The next meeting of La Canadienne
wUl be held tonight, Tuesday, at the
home of Miss Kim Killam, 1696 Laur-
ier Avenue, at 8 o'clock. Take No.
6 or 7 car to Laurier avenue, and
walk two blocks west. All members
are invited to attend.
V. c. u.
Missionary To Japan To Address
Meeting Here
The next open meeting of the
V.C.U. wiU be addressed by Miss I.
Webster Smith in Arts 204 at 12:10
Wednesday noon. Miss Webster
Smith is a missionary worker under
the auspices of the Japan Evangelistic Band, a large non-denominational
movement. She is the founder of a
Children's Home in Japan, and has
had much active experience in that
land. She will tell of her work and
of conditions In Japan. AU students
are Invited to this meeting and a
special welcome is extended to Japanese students.
The Union also announces that the
Bible study in Friday noon hours led
by the president, James R. Wilson,
on the topic "Epochs ln the Life of
Christ' will be continued this week.
HISTORICAL SOCIETY
The Historical Society wUl hold Its
next meeting Tuesday, November 1,
at the home of Dr. and Mrs. W. N.
Sage, 4687 West Fourth avenue. Min
Margaret Little wUl read a paper
on NationaUsm in Italy. Please note
the change In day, of meeting.
4>»<»a»<>
There Will Be
NO ANNUAL
THIS YEAR
Unless
___        ^
700 Totem Deposits of $1.00
are made by November 10
Deposits will be received by the Accountant in
Aud. 303 from now on.
a bi-weekly discussion of current topics which reached scholarly heights without once
proving unreadable.
This year, however, there is
a lamentable dearth of ex-
Pubsters or others suitably
qualified for the job of Kampus
Kolyumist. Consequently arose
"O. O." which started out conscientiously to live up to its
name and not be a column at
all. And here it is preparing to
become, in spite of its harassed
author, a light-headed successor to its grave and erudite
fore-bears. And people are beginning to come up to me and
say, "Here's a good idea for you
to put in," just as if I were a
real columnist.
*   *   ♦
The Darkened library
It is fine to know that the internal workings of our Library
are not to be disrupted by the
effects of the cut. One wishes
sorrowfully that its external
impressiveness could be preserved as fully. I am referring
to the darkness in which it is
now shrouded at the fall of
dusk. It used to be one of the
loveliest pictures I have ever
seen, its quaintly illuminated
reflection glowing in the pool.
Only once have I seen the
beautiful little building more
magical than it used to seem
under the stars. That was one
day when light mist was blowing in from the Sound. The sky
behind was dazzingly blue, and
the Library was wreathed in
cloud wreaths dazzlingly white;
just lightly tangled in those
thin, snowy wisps.
What People
Are Saying
Henderson (sweetly): Butterflies are
are much nicer than bugs.
Dr. Sedgewick: Queen Elizabeth was
a virgin by acclamation.
Nancy MUea: He's got such a nice
speakeasy baritone.
Mr. Drummond: Britain wasn't
great until Scotland joined her.
Jack Stanton: "Shakespeare in the
raw is seldom mild."
Prof. Sage: This is only a shell we
walk around ln; sometimes it's so
pretty we paint it.
Ted Madeley: Coming from you,
that's cheek.
Jack Emerson: I think it's damn
mean of you not to put anything I
say into the Ubyssey.
Charlie Armstrong:1 Now you take
this Equity Finance Company.
Dr. Sedgewlck< Anyone like that
ought to shut himself up in a highly-
disinfected room and drink nothing
but Llsterine.
Elmer Simpson: She was only a
boiler-inspector's daughter, but oh!
what pressure!
Murray MUler: She was only a stone
mason's daughter, but she sure knew
how to chisel.
TALKS ON THE
ENGINEERING PROFESSIONS
Date—Tuesday,  November 1.
Time—12:25 noon.
Speaker—Professor A. H. Finlay.
Subject—"Structural  Engineering."
Place—102 Applied Science.
Correspondence   ]
The Editor, Ubyssey,
Dear Sir:
Totems are one of the many things
which help to build up the so-said
deficient tradition in U.B.C. They
are, on the other hand, one of the
very few things that are now left.
The faculty balls and the Senior
Ball are among the many traditional
phases of University life that have
been cut out.
I read with interest in last Tuesday's Ubyssey of the dollar and a
quarter I have been paying annually
for Totems for the last four years.
This I have begrudged no one. As
for the Faculty Balls, I have given
them my share of patronage.
In this, my fifth year, I am deprived of the Senior BaU, to which I
had been looking forward since my
Freshman days. For the sake of
tradition, and because I have already
paid five doUars for it, I want at
least a Totem next Spring.
Why not use some of our 88,900
surplus to keep up a Uttle of the
young tradition by again publishing
the good old Totom.->-8oknce Senior.
NOTICE
Sample U.B.C. Sweaters wUl be on
view ln the Accountant's office from
now on.   Price 83:18.
An elephant once had a fright,
He dreamed he was turning ail white.
He said with a wall
"Let go of my tail,
I must see a doctor tonight"
"Do you mean to say your roommate beat you when you came in last
night?"
"Yeah, but only by twenty minutes."
"Just Where The Bus Stops"
Pt. Grey 87, Night Catts EUlott 1188
K. E. PATTERSON
PUBUC STENOGRAPHER
4478 W. Tenth Ave., Van., B. C.
Manuscripts, Essays, Thttes, Etc.
Mlmeognphlng, French
NEW AND OLD ISSUES
OF ALL COLONIAL
AND FOREIGN
POSTAGE STAMPS
Albums, Catalogues and
Accessories
Prices that do not dent your
,,,  pocketbook
I %STAMP AGENCY
541 Pender St West
it^Ba>O^BBW88Jl
STUDENTS
- Eat When U Uke -
Drive to the
Varsity
Tea Rooms
4605 W. 10th Ave.
AFTERNOON TEAS
"Where the Wise Ones Eat"
P.G. 171
Here98 a New Way to
Tend Your Furnace!
Rtach over and touch the thermostat on the wall end your furnace
tending is dont—when you Heat
with Gas. Automatic, clean, tffort-
leii.convenient hett made from B.C.
fuel. Special low rates placo Gas
Htating within rtach of tvtryont.
B.CSJeciric,
OAS DEPARTMENT
rait AT   VW 3 'sT ar^i   GAS
University Book Store
Hours: 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.; Saturdays, 9 a.m. to 1 p.m.
Loose-Leaf Note Books, Exercise Books and Scribblers
at Reduced Prices
Graphic and Engineering Paper, Biology Paper.
Loose-Leaf Refills, Fountain Pens and Ink.
Ink and Drawing Instruments.
Crepe Paper for Masquerades, etc.
ALL YOUR BOOK SUPPLIES SOLD HERE Tuesday, November 1,1932
THE UBYSSEY
PageTHraa
Bring Me A Butler Beer
CRUMBS FROM
The
COLLEGE BRED
"Did you nugget your shoes this
morning?"
"No, I'm going to get them tomorrow."
• *   •
Shades of dying Danes and King
Alfred's ghost! Juniors and Seniors
have combined their efforts this year
to produce a homecoming skit that
wiU bring tears to your eyes. Under
the title of "King Alfred and tht
Danes," two talented members of tht
Players' Club, a Muck and two ex-
Muck editors, and a versatile Chem.
Honor student wUl reproduce accurately tht "burnt cake scene" with
sound effects and smoke. (Thus the
tears).
The skit should go over. It is being rehearsed Dana and day out.
«    i    «,
Sht madt your superannuated. •
' , * *
Whtn you can't think of anything
else to say you can always talk
about yourself. For years I have
wanted to teU people of my likes and
dislikes. No ont would listen to me.
Now, it's not a east of listening,—
merely reading, which you don't
have to do if you don't want to.
Dislikes (Downtown papers please
copy).
A Ubyssey with no Muck Page.
Professors who think their course
is the only one that I'm taking.
Professors who don't stop at the
sound of the beil. If they were in
the boxing ring they couldn't get
away with It.
"AUrightit."
Listening to arguments about
Russia.
Greta Garbo.
The words of "HaU U.B.C."
Explaining a joke or a pun.
Next week—likes and more dislikes.   Come early.   Regular prices.
• •   •
Congratulations, editor! You'va at
last worked into your editorials the
good oi' phrase, "Pocket edition
Olympus."
• •   •
According to the Vancouver Sun,
the campus medical authority believes that kissing is not as dangerous   as   handshaking.     Shake,   pal,
shake!   Ethel, here I come!
• *   •
The nurse also says that kissing
can't be stopped.   Perhaps, but the
trouble is to get started.
• •   •
And that reminds me of another of
my dislikes—shaking hands.
That's thirty for tonight folks.
—Merton.
Litany Coroner
like to ait
In the
Pub,
And listen
To the
Puns;
Then, when
The
Ubyssey comet out
On
Tuesday, or even
Friday,
And people say,
What does that Pun
Mean?
I
Just laugh to myself,
Because
I know
What lt means.
But
I never
TeU.
University Cleaners
Ladles' and Children's StyUsh
Dresses
Cleaning, Pressing, Dyeing,
Alterations
Satisfaction Guaranteed
Moderate Prices
4454 W. 10th Ave.
Phone Ell. 1425
There Are Still Some
HANDBOOKS
FOR SALE
at 2S# in the
Accountant's Office,
Aud. 303
The Knight
When Love Was Born
"Gather round, chUdren dear," said
Grandma ZUch to the assorted young
Zilches one winter eve, "and if Es-
merelda wUl kindly sit off the most
comfortable chair and give it to her
poor old grandmother, I'U read you
a story what I wrote for my university paper when I was a mere
sUp of a girl." The young ZUches
watched awe-struck while grandma
blew smoke rings around the fire-
dogs and reminisced of the good old
days back in Pitchfork Prairies. "Ah!
Tht good old Ubeezeel" she mused
musily while the family dog chewed
her boot-laces unnoticed. "WeU, here
it is."
"Once upon a time there was a
mediaeval knight which lived hi a
mediaeval castle madt out of pebbles and such, with bars on the windows and looking sort of Uke a Jail
but really so enemies'couldn't get in
and once they got hi couldn't get
out WeU, he Uved hi his castle all
year round with his vassals, which
are things people used to keep
around in those days on account of
coming in vary handy' if you wanted
your armour polished or anything
Uke that. Well, this knight was a
very nice knight except for being a
Utile absent-minded at times, and
often forgot to clip his moustache so
that it dipped into the barley soup
and tiie slurping was rather bad, but
the vassals didn't dare say anything,
because ht might fly into a ragt,
being, a very good flyer, and throw
them to the dogs, this being rather
hard on the dogs too on account of
the vassals didn't always teste so
good.
Every morning this mediaeval
knight used to ride out on his charger hi his armour and feather to look
for beautiful damsels hi distress, this
being, very hard, the damsels in that
part of the country not being such
a much as to looks and never getting
into distress anyway.
One Wednesday morning this
knigh,t got very angry. Because of
his absent mind he had forgotten to
go to bed Monday night and thinking it was still Tuesday had missed
the porridge for breakfast, on account
of it being the fondest thing he was
of. This Wednesday morning he
came into the room where the vassal
i had laid his armour all oiled and
ready on the bed and started to put
It on very peevish, muttering about
feeling like he was putting on the
kitchen stove or something. He said
so many bad words like blow and
bother and others that at last the
vassal said my Uege you would go
and get cheap second-hand armour
so don't blame me he said and the
knight feeling Very put out Indeed
threw the vassal out the window to
the dogs, but the dogs not being
around just then he said go and
get someone to lock you In the tower
until the dogs' come back from chasing that rat under the front steps
and then they can eat you." At this
point grandma stooped to pick up
four stitches she had dropped on the
floor and continued.
"With that he rode forth and
spent a very unsuccessful day hunting for damsels ln distress. On his
way home thinking my I do get exasperated with the damsels around
here, he saw a Uttle girl, and not so
very little at that crying under a
mulberry tree and she was very
pretty although clad entirely in rags
from head to feet and bare feet at
that, and she was sobbing alack my
favorite father being thrown to those
nasty dop, and the knight said
what's the matter wench?" Grandma
stopped and said severely—"Esmerel-
da, will you please inform that cat
that the ladders on my best chiffon
socks is no place to sharpen her
claws!"
"So the damsel said o dear a horrid
knight Is going to throw my father
to the dogs, and the knight was
moved to compunction and said I
must be the knight but I'm really
not so horrid as that and you're not
so hard to look at yourself wench so
if you care to marry me I'll let your
father go and give the dogs some
stoned wheat thins Instead. So he
took the girl home and let the vassal out of the tower and said you'd
better not tell anyone in case they
should think I am not a man of iron
will.
"WeU what should happen that
evening when the knight was leaning out of his castle window he
heard two voices, one the damsel's
and the other the vassal's and the
vassal spokt thus:
"WeU, you're a pretty fast worker
Mame so how much do I owe you
for the job?" and the damsel replied
"Now  you  mention  it,  I'm not  so
r
Muckatorial
i
'"The time has come,'" the Walrus said." Yes, ladeez an'
gennelmen, the Muck Editor feels very much at the height of
something or other. A milestone has been reached in the history of Page Three. After fifteen years of striving against
heavy odds, we have at last managed to snaffle a contributor.
In fact, four of them! The Muck Page has articles by five people!
Think of that, you former Muck Editors, and grind your teeth
in envy!
We hear occasionally of people who strenuously object to
Muck. We hate to think that this is because they have no
humour in them. "Pfui, tripe, onions and balderdash," we hear
them exclaim, "neither is there any humour on the Muck Page."
Well, if them's your sentiments, come to this office and do
it yourself. We are sure that there are lots more Muck writers
among those present.
For instance, look at the Valedictory gifts suggested every
year!
The 42nd Return
of
Chang Suey
At Chang Buoy's diabolical features
materialised on tht screen I puUed
  my 44 out of my kimona and shot
DUNC. EETIT IN DISGUISE three times.  Each timt a gong rang
<gout. "Three bells and Oswald," I
said to myself and quietly placed
tht gat on a nearby gat-stand.
Chang Suty looked quite crestfallen. The buUets bad gone through
his pigtail and curled It up "Horse-
feathers," he muttered, "my basal
ganglia art aU shot to biases."
Then btfort wt could stop him,
tht great crlmester had'made a forward pass, grabbed tht cigarette butt
extinguisher under his arm, and disappeared through the screen, grinning sardonically to himself, and
giving us the Shanghai gesture as he
went.
"Curses!" cried Duncan Eetit. "if
that unfreezes it'll be the making of
the campus undertaker." Just then
Paul Revere tore in on his tricycie.
"All aboard, lads!" he cried. "All
ashore that's goin' ashore!"
In another instant Eetit had
climbed onto the handle-bars and I
was seated on his shoulders. We
were off! "Peddle your stuff, Paul!"
I shouted. "Do the br-Aix work?"
"That's another story," said Paul.
"Ghent you do better than that?"
We were off again! We were
right off. Through the Caf. across
the campus, over the Stadium, into
the Lily Pond! "Down that way,"
said the Frog, pointing towards the
Stacks. "That Frog's nertz!" cried
Duncan. "There goes Chang Suey
now! He's on the sidewalk! No,
he's under it! No, he's on it! Yes,
he is!   No, he isn't—yes, he is! Grab
Insane Muckman
Puzzles Editor
The other night, while travelling
homewards on the street-car with
the Sports Editor, I fell to discussing
strange occurances In soccer with
him.
"Ah. . . yes," muttered Sport, "The
subject has possibilities. I remember once ..."
"Yes, yes, quite so," I interposed
hurriedly, not wishing to be outdone. "I've heard you tell that one
before."
"Eh . . ? Oh yes. Of course, of
course," said Sport somewhat absently, and from this I knew he was
off in the land of soccer.
"Now listen here," I quoth authoritatively, "If a player kicks the
ball up in the air and a passing
eagle swooped down, seized the ball,
and flies off with It, what would you
do?"
"Ha, ha! Fancy that," gasped
Sport, scarcely able to grasp the
facts, "I reaUy don't know."
"There," I gloated, "and you the
Sports Editor! Shame at youl What
would you have done if you were
the referee?"
"Blown my whistle," came the
prompt answer.
Unable to reply after this display
of wisdom, I groped around for an hlm-  b°ys!"    We grabbed him  just
other topic. After a period of silence
during which Sport's face wore a
rather triumphant leer, an idea came
to me.
"If you were referee during a game
and a player kicked the ball so hard
in an attempted shot at goal, that he
burst the ball ... "
"Yes, go on," aald Sport.
"And the cover of the ball scored
a goal but the bladder went over the,
crossbar, what decision would you
give?"
"WeU, ... I must have time to
consider the facts,!' opined Sport.
"Probably I should give it half a
goal."
"Yes," I remarked, "but that's not
aU. The lace on the cover wraps
Itself around the goalie's neck and
strangles him to death. What would
that result in?"
Quick aa a flash the answer came
back at me, "An Inquest."
*   •   *
For  several  minutes  I  fumed  in
as he was sinking for the last time
His horsefeathers caught in the tricycle wheels as he went down. We
had our cue but we didn't know
what to do with it. "He'll be back
for that," said Duncan. As we stood
there a paper fluttered to our feet,
covered with a Chinese cryptogram.
"Cripps!" cried Dune, throwing on
his erypcoat and sitting down on
the crib. He crumpled up and
crumpled down on the curb. In fact
he crumpled up and down for a
few minutes. In a moment he had
solved and peppered it and eaten it.
"It says," ht breathed, "When me
eatohum queue, you catchum extinguisher. Meet me in the Green
Room at 12 tonight. ... or else . . ."
An ashy pallor overspread Dune's
face. The cryptogram had given him
Indigestion. The jig was up. What
were we going to do? We dunked
Dune In the Lily Pond and he revived. "What was the rest of the
message,"  we cried  as we  brought
"The prisoner was syncopating, your
honor."
'Syncopating?"
"Proceeding from bar to bar in Irregular fashion, your honor."
As the Transcontinental pulled out
of Kamloops, a young man dashed
down the station, scrambled aboard,
and coUapsed into the nearest seat.
The disgruntled man in the corner-
evidently a retired colonel—barked
out, "Young man, when I was your
age I could sprint down a platform
and catch a train without turning a
hah*."
"Uh-huh. But this darn train had a
half an hour's start on me at Calgary."
The clrcust came to town, and tht
coUege lad dated up the Siamese
twins.
On his return—but let's Usten to his
room-mate.
"Well, what kind of a time did
you have?? Good?"
"Well-Yes, and no."
Mark Collins observed Keate pawing
in the gutter.
"Lost something, sir?"
"Yes—a chunk of toffee," mumbled
Keate.
"WeU, that's not very important, is
lt? If I were you I'd let it go."
"Let it go? Let it GO? Damne, man,
its got my teeth in it"
silence,   then   could   contain   myself him to, and then brought him two
no longer. jmore.   "I don't know, I've digested
"Well,  since you think  you're so It," he said.    "Porous another."
smart, what would this be.   A play-     Had Chang Suey foiled us again?
We didn't know; we couldn't say.
But we wouldn't have been surprised
if he had.
er   tries  a  shot   at  goal.    The ball
runs along the ground, ascends the
goal post, traverses the crossbar and
lodges on the other end of the bar J —     „___
at the junction^ the upright.   What J SOCCER MEN VICTORIOTJS
(Continued from Page Four)
Laurie Todd was again the outstanding player on the Blue and
Gold team, and was responsible for
most of the combination plays. Frattinger was again steady in goal,
whUe McGill was best on defence.
would that be?"
Sport rose, preparatory to descending from the street car, "Well, he
said, "if you really want to know,
that would be a miracle."
"NATURE IN THE RAW IS
SELDOM MILD"
mouldy at that,  and seeing as the Kozoolin was the best of the halves,
old  geezer  has a pretty good bank  although even he was eratic at the
account I won't charge you a cent."
WeU for crying out loud thought
the knight so that's what you get for
trying to be kind-hearted, it Just
doesn't pay."
beginning of the game.
The team—Frattinger; McGlU, Legg.
Manning, Kozoolin, Costain; Stewart,
L. Todd, Munday, D. Todd, Cooke.
Substitute:  Smith.
DO YOU NOT THINK SO?
It ig a reaaonable assumption that at least 10 out o!
every 100 of the students at the University, who are
being trained to carry on the business, professional
and scientific work for the world of tomorrow, have
some interest even at this early date in making sure
of a position for next summer!
Many of you, we know, are able to complete your four
years' training only when summer employment is provided for you.
At Least One
JOB For
Next Summer
together with a fine Collection of Tulip Bulbs and a
Five Dollar Bill are now offered to any U.B.C. Student
(man or woman) who will do something for me right now
in return.
My Request Is Easily Within Your Power To Perform
Viz.—1. Guess the title of the third of a series of three
articles on the Tulip.
2. Supply me with the names and addresses of
two potential customers for what I have and shall
have to sell-
Viz.—EVERYTHING FOR MORE BEAUTIFUL
GARDENS. t
Last week there was some slight misunderstanding as to
whether the above
Concatenation
a
of Gifts
was divided between three people.
No, It Is Not! It all goes to the student selected as the
winner.
(Refer to the Ubyssey of last Tuesday for further particulars)
The only purpose of advertisements of this type is to
OBTAIN CUSTOMERS and therefore my ads are for
that purpose and for the particular purpose of finding out
whether I can obtain them through advertising in the
Ubyssey.
Provided you take a real interest in your college paper,
you may help me find this out.
FRANK E. BUCK
THE GABLES
University Hill
Just Now Selling (By Contract)
The surpluses from the Fine CoUection of Spring Flowering Bulbs
built up and grown by the University for the past 12 yean
House Phone, Kerr. Page Four
THE UBYSSEY
Tuesday, November 1, 1932
CAMPUS   SPORTS
Blue and Gold Fifteen Play Smart
Rugby to Hand Ex-King George Crew
Their First Defeat of the Season
L.
D.
Pts.
1
1
7
2
0
6
2
1
5
Varsity Takes Game 7-0 To Place Second in
League Schedule—Half Time Score 0-0—
Ken Mercer Drops Field Goal — Doug.
Brown and Ruttan Pkjr Well in
Forward Berth
By DICK ELSON
Tisdall Cup Standings— W.
"X-King Oeorge ,        3
Varsity        3
North Shore All Blacks      , 2
Varsity cut down X-King George's lead in the Tisdall Cup
series to only one point when they handed them a 7-0 trimming
at the Brockton Point oval, Saturday afternoon.
Saturday's game was the moat important one of the series,
as a win for X-King Oeorge meant a five-point lead over any
other team in the league, an advantage almost impossible to
overcome.
nsMewiittS
played a fast and strenuous gamt
against tough opposition, featuring
throughout tht contest, exhibitions of
fine tackling and brilliant forward
for Vanity Art and Ken Mercer,
Cleveland and Leggat, were prominent as backs whilt Doug Brown,
Ruttan and Senkler starred among
the forwards. Humphries, Ross and
Rowan looked good for the Kings.
Flay Starts Fast
Flay was off to a fast start with
Varsity forcing the heavy Ex-King
George squad weU back into their
own territory, and by open play,
good runs and effective tackling
maintained this position. MitcheU,
during the first ten minutes of play,
got a penalty kick but faUed to put
it over. However, thia seemed to
stir the opposing serum into action
and heavy advances hi yardage were
effected, but any attempts at scoring were weU guarded.
The Ex-Kings used their weight
to good advantage in a steady dribbling attack which nearly resulted in
a score, but for the brillant wing
three quarter man, Leggat, who
snapped the ball and went over for
a safety touch. At the scrum down
on the 5-yard line, the King's tried
to crash the line but were unable
to do so, then Rowan, with two of
his men made an attempt to run
around llneslde, but was held within five yards of the line, just as the
whistle finished the half.
Varsity Scores Twice
Tht students, handling nicely,
started the second period by rushing
the Ex-King Oeorge boys back to-
their two bit line. Ken Mercer attempted a nice kick from the twenty
yard line, but was unsuccessful. A
scrum down resulted near the op-
Take Grid
Game 10-1
Playing their last gamt of the year,
Doctor Burke's Blue and Oold aggregation of Big Four gridders held
the championship Meraloma crew to
a 10-1 score at Athletic Park last
Saturday afternoon.
The Varsity crew played sixty minutes of bang-up football, and caused
many grey hairs In the Meraloma
camp. With the count 1-0 against
them at the end of the first quarter,
the Orange and Black tightened up
to take a 3-1 lead at half time. Two
more deadline kicks and a doubtful
touchdown in the second half put
the game on ice for Meralomas.
Hedreen for Varsity played a great
game, both on offensive and defensive
play. His long punts were a feature
of the day, and time and again relieved his team from dangerous positions.
The rest of the U. B. C. squad
worked smoothly and efficiently and
held the Meraloma machine three
times right on their very goal line.
In the first canto Meralomas
played more Uke rookies than champions, and Varsity outclassed them ln
every department to hold them in
their own territory and take a 1-0
lead.
With Niblo in the backfield, the
.     „     .... A A   .. . , KltsUano crew tightened up In the
posing Une foUowtag a punt to theUM^    ^^    ^^ ^ q,
corner flag, Varsity, however.failed ^ Kack fought ^ to Var.
ULZS• JVSL'ZS. £ «ity- one-yard line, but costly fom-
Arts, Science
Soccer Games
Thrill Many
Tht opening games of the Science
Ltsgut wert played off at noon
Monday between Science '88 and '88
in tht Stadium, and Science '84 and
'86 on tht Upper Playing Field. Tht
former gamt resulted In a scoreless
draw, whUe Science '84 accounted
for Science '86 by a score of 1-0.
Arts '38 and Arts 'M clashed In tht
feature gamt of last week's card on
Friday, this gamt also being drawn
by a 8-aU store.
In the first half, the Juniors tallied
first through Dtnne, who pushed a
hard drive past Costain. Although
Arts *84 wort decidedly superior In
this period, they fatted to penetrate
Ihe Senior defence again, and tht
cross-over found tht score 1-0 in
favour of tht men of Todd. In the
second stanza the Seniors hit their
stride, and the goal, and tied the >
score through a solo effort by Rod
McLeod. Not content with this the
Seniors persuaded Davt Todd to let
tht bail trickle Into the net for a
second tally. However, tht rest of
the '84 men were not so generous,
and rushed back to score the tying
goal with a sizzling shot Both defences held for the remaining time,
and the Seniors were held to a draw.
The Science 'S4-'36 game was a
rough struggle, with Nicholson doing
the honors tor '34 by scoring the only
goal of the game. Oood footbaU may
have been played, but it was hard to
notice.
The other Science contest, between
'33 and '35 was more like a water
polo game than a soccer match. It
was played on the Stadium field,
which was for the most part a lake.
Despite the handicap, however, there
were flashes of football, although
neither team managed to swim as far
as the oponents' goal-line.
U.B.C. Shots
Make Good
Score Sunday
Almost Ideal weather conditions
prevailed during the Inter-University
Rifle Competition fired on October
80, at Blair Range, North Vancouver.
A slight right wind was experienced
at 800 and 600 yards which called for
a Uttlt skUl in judging, but visibility
was good at all ranges despite the
cloudy condition of the sky. It was
not until the last firer was completing his score at 600 yards that it
commenced to rein. This had the effect of lowering bis score a point or
two. The highest score obtained by
any member of a team of eight was
101 points out of a total possible 108.
and was gained by Sergeant D. O.
Worthlngton. Hue score wins for
him thp Leekle Shield, a special
C.O.T.C. stiver spoon, and a shooting bag. The total highest score for
t team of eight flrers was TI points,
averages MJ. This is good conetdtr-
tag that Chitons University, Toronto,
won tat match last yttr with a total
score of Ht out of a possible 840
points and had such expert shots as
Lieut D. T. Burke, the Kings Prise
Winner and other top notchers on
tht team. The scores obtained by
members of tht U.B.C. team art as
foUows:
Team '  800 800 600 Tol.
Sgt D. Worthlngton    84 88 38 108
Cdt R. W. Cary 88 S3 31 09
Lieut V. J. Southey     84 88 30 89
Sgt F. H. Dawe 88 88 88 «T
Lo. CpL W. Machines 81 S3 38 96
Sgt J. 8. Beeman 81 80 33 94
Cpl. L. M. Stewart       88 31 81 94
8ft. W. A. Madeley       88 88 30 94
and rushed the ball about forty-five
yards down the field, then Rose obtained possession after the ensuing
scrum and made for the line only to
be stopped by Howie Cleveland, star
wing three quarter.
An exchange of kicks foUowed,
Varsity gaining territory with a spectacular erossfleld run of forty yards
by Cleveland and Leggat.
The West Enders began on the defensive on then* two bit Une when
three penalties were awarded against
them, the referee, McLeod, broke up
a scrum down to award the third, i
MitcheU then put the pigskin over
the bar for the first three points.
Mercer Scores Field Goal
Showing some fine work, the Varsity forwards dribbled the ball within five yards of the Une, and as
U.B.C. continued to press, Ken Mercer made a neat field goal.
From this point the Black and
Green picked up again and had it
not been for Varsity's smashing tackling would have scored. Rowan
late in the game secured and passed
to Sheppard, who went over, but
play was caUed, due to the fact that
Rowan had been forced on the wing.
The game finished with the count
7-0.
The line-up—
Varsity: Brand, Cleveland, A. Mercer, Young, Leggat, K. Mercer, Tye,
Mitchell, Senkler, Gross, B. Brown,
W. Morris, D. Brown, Ruttan.
Ex-King George: Humphries, Sheppard, Allan, Rowan, Scadding, Pope,
Drummond. Rose, Donaldson, Moran,
Lawson, Henderson. Bain, Barker,
Newitt.
Referee:  Johnny McLeod.
SECOND DIVISION WINS
Backed up by several new players,
Varsity's    Second    Division    English
Rugby    aggregation    continued    it's
(Plensc  turn   to  Page  Two)
bles robbed them from touchdowns
and brought in only two points on
rouges. tSewart kicked to the deadline late in the period to make the
half tune score 3-1.
The only thrill of the third quarter
waa the sensational eighty-yard run
by Don Stewart of Meralomas. Don
took the ball on his own ten yard
line and got away on a cut-back
through the right side, and ran to
Varsity's 10-yard line before being
forced out by Henderson. Within scoring distance again, the Clubbers
failed to cross the line and made
only one marker.
It was in the fourth quarter that
the only touch of the game wa*
scored. After a march down the
field Meralomas were on Varsity's
1-yard line, with third down and 1
yard to go. Lawrence, a husky Kitsilano middle, was given the ball,
and to aU appearances was stopped
cold. The touch was awarded, however, but was not converted.
The U.B.C. boys flUed the air with
passes in the last period in a last
desperate effort to score, but it just
didn't happen. Niblo's educated toe
booted the ball over the deadline for
the last point ot the game.
Hedreen's kicking and passing
made him the pick of the Varsity
line-up. while Stewart and Niblo get
the call for Meralomas.
The teams—
i Varsity: Hedreen, Steele, „ Rush,
Moore, Bolton, Pearson, Kirby, D.
Stewart, J. Stewart, Farrington,
Bourne, KeiUor, McCrimmon, Ellet,
Wilson, Henderson,. Johnstone and
Poole.
Meralomas: Stewart Cameron, Wilson. Hunt, Hutchison, Oakenful,
Black, Potter, Day, A. Lowe, Lawrence, Edget, Niblo, Ferris, Eby,
Fraser, Mackie, McRae and Ellis.
Referee:  Del Finlay.
Umpire:   Gordon Johnstone.
ARTS 30 ROAD RACE
ON WEDNESDAY WIU
FEATUREJIANY STARS
The Arts '30 Road Race, first of a
series of races which include the
Cross Country and the Arts '80 Relay, WUl take place on Wednesday,
November 9, starting at 3:30.
The course on which this race is
run takes the runners four times
around the University buildings. The
start Is opposite the Cairn, from
which the contestants proceed north
to the parking space, turn west to
the West MaU, south along the West
MaU to end of the asphalt, east to
the Mail, and back along the Mall.
The finish is opposite the Administration BuUdlng.
Included in the list of possible
starters are such weU-known men as
Oeorge Sinclair (Sc. '34). winner last
year, Alfie Allen, (Sc. '36), present
record holder, Sid Swift (Arts '34),
who set the pact in last year's contest, George Allen, Herb. Barclay,
and a number of other prominent
track men.
Paul Kozoolin officiated at the
Friday game, while Millar McGill
and Arnold White went through the
motions on Monday.
pthers-
Lieut Stewart-Lough
Sgt. D. M. Smith
Le. Cpl. J. D. McMynn
Cdt A. Greenwood
Cdt. J. W. Roff
Cdt. R. L. Moodle
Cpl. A. L. Crowe
Lc. Cpl. J. C. Warren
Cpl. V; R. HU1
Cdt. A. C Bastin
Cdt H. P. Godard
Cdt. C. Margerlson
Total-775
33 88 89 94
80 81 80 91
34 89 28 91
89 80 30 89
29 29 29 87
31 87 27 85
30 29 26 85
27 31 25 83
29 88 22 79
23 26 26 75
29 19 23 71
22 24 22 68
U.B.C. Track Club
Accepts Records
In the meeting of the U.B.C. Track
Club held on Friday, the two new
Varsity track and field records were
formally ratified. This includes Harold Wright's mark for the 220-yard
dash, made in the Invitation meet
of the 15th of October, and Haddon
Agnewds discuss record in the annual
Varsity-Frosh meet of the 12th.
Wright, star sprinter of the Canadian Olympic team, smashed the
record jointly held by Bobbie Gaul,
and Prof. Harry Warren, when he
steamed the distance two weeks ago
in 23:1-5 seconds. Haddon Agnew's
record however, was even more notable, as he upset not only Varsity's
nine-year old mark, but also established a new Western Inter-CoUegiate
distance to shoot at. His record-
breaking toss went 124 feet and 8
Inches.
SENQOR CITY GRID
TEAM WIN 6-3 OVER
MERALOMASSATURDAY
Doc. Burke's "Blue and Gold"
squad trounced the Meraloma gridders to the tune of 6-3 In their fourth
Senior City Canadian Rugby game
of the season at Douglas Park, Sat-
ruday afternoon.
The deciding issue of the game
came in the second quarter, when
Dick Bower of the Varsity aggregation intercepted a forward pass in
the shadow of his own goal-posts,
and outran the entire opposition to
cross the Meraloma Une for 5 points.
The U. B. C. found themselves at
the wrong end of the count in the
first quarter, when the KltsUano
club kicked to the deadline for 1
point.
The second period proved to be
the most spectacular of the game,
when Bower intercepted a forward
pass on his own 10-yard line
and ran 90 yards for a touchdown,
which went unconverted. The Kitsilano club scored their other 2
points of the game by kicks to the
deadline.
Canto the third saw the addition of
another point for Varsity by a kick
to the deadline. The last quarter
was scoreless, although the Blue and
Gold had a slight edge over the Mer-
lomas, and the game ended with
the score 6-3 for the U.B.C.
Line up: Crysdale, McLean, Lyn-
ott, SneUing, Arkhurst, Moffat, Clap-
perton, Ashby, Wood, Martin, Holden and Bower.
Senior "A" Basketballers
Trounce Meraloma Squad
For Second Straight Win
Blue and Gold Squad in Great Form to Bewilder Kitsilano Boys-"Pi" Campbell
Shows Class and Nets 12 PoinU—Varsity To Play Sparlings in Westminster
Wednesday Night
By ARNOLD WHITE
Coach Allen's Senior "A" basket squad had no difficulty in
defeating the Meraloma entry in a Burrard League encounter
Saturday night at'the V. A. C. Gymnasium by a 40-11 score.
With the whole team playing a good defensive game, and Osborne and Campbell in a scoring mood, the outcome waa never
in doubt.
Osborne opened the score soon after the start with a foui
shot, but Meralomas went ahead for the only time of the pw
with foul shots by Thompson and H. Clark. Nicholson tied this
up with another foul, and then Cy. Lee dropped in a basket to
♦givfYtrsity a ltad which they held
Anglican Theos.
Hold Track Meet
Anglican College students held
their annual field-day on the oval
on Friday last. Members of the faculty acted as judges. Bob Ward and
Chris Loat tied for the championship
award with nineteen points each.
Ward won the 100 yard broad
jump and high jump. Loat finished
first in the 440 yards, half-mile and
mile events. E. Thaln took the
trophy for the Shot put. In the
evening faculty and students with
their guests, Col. A. M. Brown and
Or. Barss, met for dinner In the
Hall. Toasts were proposed as follows: "To the King" by Dr. Vance,
"To the Student Association" by Col.
Brown, to which Mr. J. L Anderson
replied. "To the College" by Dr,
Barss was responded to by S. Semple,
Victorious
Saturday
In a fast game at Cambie Street
on Saturday, Varsity Senior Soccermen stepped over Cowan-Dodson into fourth place by defeating the
Bakers 2-1. Cowan-Dodson held a
1-0 lead at half-time, but Munday
scored two goals In the second half
to give Varsity the game.
Varsity kicked off against a lpw
sun which bothered the boys badly
through most of the first half. As
a result, their ball control suffered,
and they were badly off color until
just before the half ended. However, from that point on, their game
Improved and they pressed throughout most of the second half.
Cowan-Dodson obtained the first
goal of the game midway through
the first stanza. Frattinger dived for
a hard shot, and pushed the ball
•gainst the post. It rebounded on
to the line, and McGill cleared at the
expense of a corner. From the place
kick, Cowan, the Bakers' centre-
forward, headed into the goal mouth
and although Legg kicked the ball
over the bar, the referee rightly gave
a goal.
During the remainder of the period
play was evenly divided, but Varsity
spoiled many chances by carelessness
with then- passes. The combination
of the Blue and Gold squad was
much below its usual standard. During the last ten minutes of the half,
Varsity picked up considerably, and
were pressing the Cowan-Dodson defence when the period ended.
Manning was forced to drop out
of the right half position at half
time, Buss Stewart dropping back
from right wing to takt his place.
Hughie Smith took over the right
wing position.
M Play Better in Second Half
Flay was of a much higher standard after the interval, with Varsity
playing a nice combination game.
Cowan-Dodson were playing a rough
type of game, and were attempting
to barge through by sheer weight,
but found the Varsity defence too
steady for them. Laurie Todd was
playing a splendid game on the Blue
and Oold forward line, and engineered a number of fine passing attacks, while the half line was keeping up with the play better and
were feeding their wing men much
more effectively.
Finally, Smith took a pass on the
wing, and headed to Laurie Todd,
who put Otle Munday through for
the first Varsity goal. The centre-
forward gave the goalie no chance
with his shot.
Shortly after this, Costain and the
Cowan-Dodson left winger attempted
to kick the ball at the same time,
and the Varsity half received a in-
ury to his ankle, but managed to
continue, although more or less of
a pasesnger from then on.
Ten minutes from the err" -* *he
game, Smith took the ball down ine
wing, tricked the back ,and put Munday through with a lovely pass. Munday made no mistake, and drove the
ball through for his own and Varsity's second goal. Although the College squad worked through to several more fine openings, they did
not succeed in scoring again, and the
game ended with the score 2-1 for
Varsity.
(Please turn Io Page Three)
throughout tilt gamt.
HUUtr's foul shot was the only
seort for several minutes, dimng
which both teams were handling tht
baU rather carelessly. Tnen Osborne
secured under his own basket and
dribbled tht length of tht floor to
drop in a pretty basket. Ht repeated
a minute later titer Hillitr had
scored on a foul, and Meralomas
caUtd timt out.
CampbtU In Porn
After the rest CampbeU obtained
/the first of a series of beautiful bas*
kets. Osborne was pulling down the
rebounds in fine style, but for a few
minutes Varsity's attacks failed to
bring points. Then Thompson dropped
the bail through the hoop for the
first and last Meraloma field goal of
the first half. CampbeU quickly regained this when he broke for another pretty basket,'and Osborne followed with a score on a pass from
Nicholson.
Varsity's second string line now
came in, Bardsley replacing Nicholson, and Tervo, Lee, with Campbell
going to centre. Just before half
time, Wright dropped in a foul, and
Bardsley a basket to bring the score
to 17 to 6 at the Interval.
CampbeU started the second session
with two sensational scores, while
the Meraloma squad were confined to
long shots. Following this Campbell
went through for the prettiest score
of the game, shooting with his back
to the basket. Osborne followed with
two fouls to give the Blue and Gold
a 19 point lead. Qulnn reduced this
just as Coach Allen sent ln Douglas
for Campbell, Wright going to centre and Tervo to guard.
Douglas Shows WtU
Young scored another Meraloma
basket but Douglas replied with a
score for Varsity. After Young had
dropped In another Black and Orange
score, Matthison replaced Bardsley on
the Varsity forward Une. for several minutes there was no further
scoring. Then "Hooker" Wright obtained a basket and a foul, and H.
Clark scored for the Clubmen. Douglas scored on a pretty effort Just as
the regular front line returned to the
floor, Campbell replacing Wright,
Nicholson taking the place of Douglas and Lee going in for Tervo.
The change speeded the game up
immediately and Matthison, CampbeU and Osborne quickly scored
beautiful baskets. H. Clark repUed
with a basket for Meralomas, and
shortly after. Douglas went In for
Campbell and Wright for Osborne.
Nicholson scored on two foul shots
and H. Clark obtained third basket
of the half as the final whistle went.
Varsity: Osborne (11), Wright (4),
Campbell (12), Nicholson (3), Lee
(2), Tervo, Bardsley (2), Douglas
(4). Matthison  (2) -40.
BADMINTON
Blue and Gold shuttle swatters
vanquished the West Eend team 9-7
in a closely fought game Thursday,
October 27, at Varsity. An unfortunate accident occured when three
of the West End team, apparently
taking a short-cut. blundered into
the famous Lily Pond thereby considerably    dampening   their    vidour.
GRASS HOCKEY
The   Varsity   grass   hockey   team
played its first game against U.B.C.
the second team, on Saturday. The
team was able to pile up a score of
seven goals, but U.B.C. was unable
to make a single tally. Varsity attacked from the first whistle and
play was confined during the early
stages of the game to the U.B.C.
half. The U.B.C. backs played an
excellent game and it was only by
their good work that Varaity was
prevented from incieawrng the score.

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