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The Ubyssey Jan 12, 1927

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 V*>« '*-'?0"Sf
/sstteti Twice Weekly by ths Students' Publications Board of The University of British Columbia.
Volt.no IX*
BaalaSSBJBnnSaVnSnBlBI
VANCOUVER, B. C, JANUARY 12th, 1927
iwaMsiBMafa«*»aatfMSMimR^^
No. 16.
McKECflNIE CUP RUGGERS
TAKE THREE STRAIGHT
Varsity Takes Two Games From Victoria and Wins
World Cup from Stanford
m Tbe Varsity rugby teams have kicked off ln throe major games since the
last Issue and have scored decisive victories In eaoh tussle, scoring ten tries
Without having their own'line crossed.   Since losing the flrst  MoKeohnle
5Me Varsity have so rapidly Improved by means of efficient coaching and
tensive practising that they are now hailed by football critics aa the best
the province.
On December 4th Varsity played their home game against VIotorta and
(romped through for a 21-0 victory. Despite the fact ihat examinations were
only one week distant, Ave hundred students gave rousing support to the
blue and gold. In the flrst half Victoria put up a strenuous battle, the whistle
finding Varsity ahead only 8-0. The Varsity forwards came to life In the
second half and forced the heavier Islanders about at will. The smooth
Short passing play of the Varsity backs resulted in four more scores without
response. Seagull Mclnnos provided the most spectacular fullback play seen
Slnoe the All Blacks cavorted at the Point. Catching a high punt from
Goodacre, Victoria kicking ace, on the
Varsity five yard line Mclnnes single-
handed brought the ball back with a
series ot short runs and perfectly
timed kicks straight down the centro
Ot the field to the Victoria line where
when finally tackled he passed the
ball to Baton for the second score.
Tupper, Barratt and Oustafson ran
across for the other tries, Mahon converting two and Locke one.
On Boxing day Varsity regained
the World Cup emblematic of the
Pacific Coast intercollegiate rugby
championship, defeating Stanford,
Olympic Games champion, 6-3. The
game, played In rain on a wet, straw-
Covered field, was one of the most
bitterly contested matches In Varsity
rugby history. The wet ball made
tbe Varsity short passing game Impossible and the tussle resolved Itself Into a forward battle in which
crashing tackling was the outstanding
feature.
Stanford scored the only points of
the flrst half on a free-kick well taken
by Graves. But Varsity came hack
strongly In the second half to score
tries by Mahon and Wells. Neither
was converted.
The feature match of the Victoria
invasion was the return game aginst
Victoria played at the Willows last
Saturday. Victoria trotted out a
greatly strengthened team but, Varsity was weakened by the absence of
Willis. A strong wind was blowing
so Varsity resorted to long kicks in
the flrst half but was not very successful. The Victoria forwards played
a great game tho Varsity scrum being
outclassed but the backfleld was
powerful at all times during the game.
The brilliant running of Oustafson and
Eaton and the tackling of Maclnnes
and Tupper featured the flrst half.
Juat before the whistle Tupper went
across at the flag for the initial score.
In the second half when Varsity was
against the wind, the kicking of
Goodacre gave Varsity a lot ot trouble
until he was Anally smothered. Tiny
Noble was the big noise of the second
half breaking through the Victoria
defense for two scores neither of
which were converted. Noble was the
outstanding player on the field,
working like a Trojan ln the scrums
and tackling hard. Victoria's score
came as a result of a free kick, Good-
acre dropping the ball between the
poets; the game ended 9—3 ln Varsity's favor.
The Varsity Intermediate rugby
team drew 3-3 with Victoria during
the invasion. Victoria College is ono
of the smoothest working fifteens
ever produced In the Island while the
Varsity team was picked from the
two regular Intermediate teams nnd
so had little combination What they
lacked In this respect they made up
In dogged tackling and brilliant Individual runs. The flrst half ot the
game was scoreless, Varsity was
playing with the wind had a slight
advantage. Varsity opened the scor
Ing In the second halt when Mclntyre
outran a Victoria man for the ball,
diving over the line for a courageous
try. Barrat made a tine kick against
the wind, tho ball Just barely missing.
Victoria came right hack and scored
after a forward rush. The heavy
Victoria eight man scrum gave Varsity many anxious moments but
superior kicking by Hockin saved the
day. The team waa Hockin, Taylor,
Barratt, Mclntyre, Richardson, Dixon,
Lamont, Bull, Pierce, Ballentlno,
Doherty, Kldd, Parker Phillips, McMillan (capt.)
Sports Summary of
Victoria Invasion
MEN
ENGLISH RUGBY—
McKECHNIE CUP
Varsity 9 Viotorla Rep 3
INTERMEDIATES
Varsity 3 Viotorla College 3
SOCCER—
Varsity First Team 0 Victoria 2
Varsity Reserves 1 Viotorla Coll. 2
BASKETBALL—
Varsity Sen. Ben. 21 Onwegos 17
Varsity Son. 11 Jordan River 16
Intermediate B 17
First Presbyterians 10
Intermediate A 16
Viotorla College 20
GOLF—
Varsity vs. Victoria—Varsity lost
TRACK—
Varsity vs. Y.M.C.A.—Varsity toot
ICE HOCKEY—
Varsity 2       Viotorla All Stars 5
GRA8S HOCKEY—
Varsity 3 Victoria 4
WOMEN
BASKETBALL—
Senior A 20 Fldelis 16
Senior B 14       Victoria College 11
GRASS  HOCKEY—
Varsity 1 Victoria Rep 3
MIXED
SWIMMING—
Varsity 42 Victoria 72
BADMINTON—
Varsity 2     Victoria All Stars 22
Washington Huskies
Crush Senior "A"
Perhaps the greatost disappointment
of the athletic year Is the decisive
beating Varsity received in Seattle
Saturday night. The score, 76-20, represents pretty well the proportion of
merit. Our boys did their level best
hut were quite outclassed by thu
Husky squad.
The Yankee team use an entirely
different style of offensive play. Their
method of playing Interference had
the I'HC. tenm almost completely
baffled. Hy a different arrangement
of Its college time-table, tho Husky
squad Is ii bio to practice every day in
Its own gym.
Wully Mayers scored the most
points for Varsity, netting four field
goals, and two frev throws. Iluller
contributed four points, and Grant,
MacDonald and King, one goal each.
The Washington star was Monty
Hnlder, who made eighteen points.
The other points were divided between the ten other Husky players
who took part In the same. Varsity
sent eight players to Seattle.
Team: Butter, Mayers, Grant, Nes-
bitt, McDonald, King, Hartley, Robinson.
Council Begins to
Function
At a short business meeting of the
Students' Council on Monday evening,
permission was granted to the Badminton Club to send a women's team
to Kelowna to play there on January
16th. As a result, the men's team
will consist of only two members.
President Johnny Oliver, who has
Just returned from the National
Itudent's Conference In Montreal,
expressed his regrets that a report
has not yet been forwarded. He announced, however, that the Union
has appointed a Secretary, and that,
In order to hold annual meetings
where the seventeen Canadian Universities would be represented, it
would Involve a cost of seven cents
per student. This matter will be
placed before the student body at an
Alma Mater meeting as soon as possible, It is believed that each student
will realise the benefits obtained
from such conferences, by sympathetic
understanding which is gained of
other colleges. It was arranged that
ten of the universities must agree in
order to hold the conference.
League  Membership  Renewed
A notice was read by the secretary
to the effect that the membership of
this college in the League of Nations
Society expires this month. The
Council decided to renew membership
In same and appointed Prof. P. H.
Soward as delegate.
Extenoivo Debate Program
An extensive program   ot   debates
was   announced   for   this   term,   as
follows:
Jan. 21—U.B.C. vs. U. of Manitoba.
Feb. 3—U.B.C.  (Women's)  vs. U.   of
Puget Sound.
Feb. 24—U.B.C. vs. U. of Washington.
Mar. 29—U.B.C. vs. U. of S. California.
Coming 8oolal Events
The Council have granted permission to the Aggie Undergrad. Society
to hold their Annual Dance on Jan.
26th. Arts 28 will hold their Class
Party on February 2nd. The Women's
Undergraduate Society were granted
leave to stage tbe annual "High
Jinks" on Saturday, Feb. 5th.
In Memoriam
Tho Council read with extreme regret tho report of the demise of n
beloved nnd ancient companion,
"Alma Mater," and expressed their
sympathy.
"Alma Mater. Gone but not forgotten!
We bewail and moan our lonely lot.
Long years ago thou wast begotten,—
Now  art  thou  doomed   to  lie  fore'er
and rot!
Tls our regret that we were not
permitted
To view thy last remain In great
estate,
At the Globe Fertilising Parlors,
Before thou found thyself in glue and
paste!
Heavy Losses in Minor Sports
in the Victoria Invasion
Track and Swimming Give Poor Display, Basketball Wiat
Four out of Five
2nd SENIOR TIAM
Lack of finish In front of the opposing goal was the main cause of the
Varsity loss In second soccer at Royal Athletic Park, Victoria, last Saturday morning. In Justice to the Varsity Reserves, however, It must be
said that, as a team they out-played
Victoria College in the field, and failed only to finish their work by being
unable to convert their play Into goals.
As a result, Victoria College won 2-1.
Varsity started off well and throughout the game they were the aggressors. Most of the play was In Victoria
territory and time after time the Reserves attacked the opposing goal In
well-engineered rushes, combining
well until within range or the Islanders' stronghold, where they appeared
suddenly to be hopelessly at sea, for
here the forwards shot when It would
have been better to pass the ball, and
passed It when they should have shot.
As a result, the Victoria defense,
which put up a splendid exhibition,
managed to protect their citadel and
send the ball out to their forwards.
These forwards did not combine as
well as our men, but when they did
get ln a position to score they made
ihe most of their opportunity.
It was some time before Victoria
secored their first goal, but It was a
pretty one. Varsity attacked in
earnest then and bombarded the College goal, which was, however, well
guarded. Our full-backs had come up
to watch the game, when suddenly the
ball darted out into our territory, a
Victoria player chased it, Ledlngham
slipped, and the uncovered Islander
made it 2-0 for Victoria.
In tho second half, Wright, who had
been playing well at, full-back, moved
up to the forward line and seemed to
strengthen It considerably. He made
a nice pass across the Victoria goal
mouth, but our Inside forwards missed
It. Todd, at center half, was going
strong, and kept feeding the ball to
the forwards. In fact the whole learn
was plnying well and tested the College goalie wilh several'hard drives.
Fiuilly Wright broke through to score
Varsity's only tally, and when the
•'lime ended Varslly was attacking
again but on the .short end of the 2-1
score.
Todd and Wright were the outstanding men on the team, although
every man played a hard game. The
match was on the whole very keenly
contested.
The Team: —Millar, Wright, Ledlngham, Hyndman, Todd, Brown,
Deffell, Legg, Splllsbury, Wilkinson
and Partridge.
TRACK
One of the greatest surprises of tht
Victoria trip waa the defeat of thi
Varsity relay team at the hands of
the Viotorla Y.M.C.A. The rem wai
a three mile event, tour laps ot three
quarters ot a mile each. The Varsity
team was quite out of condition at-
cept for Bailey, who ran a very fine
race.
In the flrst lap Frank Billot opposed
O. Flnnemore of tbe Victoria f. Till
lap was very close, Billot finishing a
few feet behind Flnnemore.
In the second lap Bailey had bis
rival, Fred James, hopelessly outclassed. He took the lead early and
finished fully seventy yards ahead,
The Varsity rooters felt that the
race was theirs, but MacWilllams,
who was obviously out of training,
succeeded in losing almost all of hla
very substantial lead, and finished only five yards ahead of Oeorge Lewis
on the opposing Y team.
With Mottley finishing the race the
crowd still looked for a Varsity victory, but Charlie, who has done no
running since the Saskatchewan meet
last fall, bad a hard man to beat in
Jack Fouracre, the quarter mile
champion of B. C, took the lead early
in the lap, and ran Mottley ragged,
beating him by a good thirty tetjt.
The time for the race was thirteen
minutes, five seconds.
VARSITY GRASS HOCKEY
Playing a fast but rather loose game,
the Men's Grass Hookey team lost a
hard-fought contest to Victoria on Saturday afternoon. Oak Bay was tbe
scene of action, and the final soore
was Victoria 4, Varsity 8.
Varsity started off with a rush and
ln less than ten minutes they were
two goals up on the Capitals. Marsh,
the center forward, scored both these
counters and played well all tho way,
Soon after this Varsity scored on
themselves when the ball went through
as a result of a corner, shot by Victoria; and before the half waa over
the Islanders registered twice, making the half-time score 3-2.
In the second half Varsity livened
up a bit, but the Capitals were still
the aggressors, and scored their fourth
counter in one of these attacks. Towards the end of the game, however.
Varsity once more hit their stride,
and kept the opposing defense busy.
Garner ,who had been doing well at
outside right, scored Varsity's third
goal. From then on the play was fast
and even, but neither team waa able
to score, although Varsity waa trying
hard. The final whistle blew, leaving these invaders on the short end
of a 4-3 Bcore.
Varsity played well and showed an
improved form, but were weak tn
combination. Hulbert, Vincent and
Marsh were the pick of the student
team; the others were: Charleton,
Richmond, Hardie, Preston, DesBrlsay,
Sawray, Elliott and Garner.
(Continued on Page I)
STUDENTS ATTEND
SUNDAY SERVICES
At Christ Church Cathedral. In Victoria, on Sunday last, the University
sltidenta were welcomed by thu Dean
of Columbia, who gave an Intensely
Interesting sermon on "The Church,
the Home, and Modern Youth." While
defending students and nil young people of the present time, the Dean urged itiein to remember the great moral
basis underlying the economic problems they are attempting to face, He
appealed to the students not to let
the business of life after university
Interfere with their studies of booka
and life, and, In comparing the modern home with that of ttte Victorian
era, showed that the degree of real
freedom to be found at present Is more
stimulating than the hampering rules
of the institution that the home formerly  was,
Many students attended the service
which provided a fitting conclusion to
the "Invasion." y.m
THE   UBYSSEY
January 12th, 1927
yet''
dihr Ibiissrif
(Member ot Pacific luter-Collegiate PreBs Association).
Issued every Tuesday and Friday by the Student Publications Board of the
University of British Columbia, West Point Grey.
Phono: Point Grey 1434
Mall Subscriptions rate: ft. per year.   Advertising rates on application.
editorial 8taff
BDITOR-IN-CHIBF—Edmund Morrison.
Senior Bdltora—-David Warden and Donald Calvert
Assoolate Bdltors—Jean Tolmie, George Davidson and Margaret Grant
feature Bdltor—P. 0. Pllkington.        Assistant Bdltor—Doris Crompton.
Chief Reporter—Max Cameron
8»>ort Bdltor—Vernard Stewart
P.I.P.A, Bdltor—W. B. Thompson
Cartoonist—George Thompson.
Literary Bdltor—Daroy Marsh,
Business Staff
Business Manager—Gerald Stevens.
Business Assistants—R. D. James: Bev, Patrick; Rous Tolmie, Bvelyn Fuller
Circulation Manager—Murray N. Taylor
■dltore-foMhe-lssuet
■ealor, Don Calvert; Associate, Geo. Davidson; Assistant, M. DesBrlsay
ANNUAL NOTICE!!
LOOKING BACK
Another Victoria Invasion Is history. Oneo moro tho nhip'H
passengers, hotel patrons, and Victoria policemen havo lived through
ftro days and nights of horror. For n few short weeks Victorians will
kick and grouch about the uncultured barbarians and then will nettle.
back into silence. One consolation remains to them—tho fact thnt in
almost every line of sport their representatives administered drubbings
to the ffniverslty teams. In previous years the invasion has justified
its existence by a fairly respectable number of victories, and huN Atoned
for its questionable behavior by a scries of brilliant displays on tho
athletic field. This year, however, even this usually redeeming feature
Was lamentably "non est." Basketball and rugby registered tbe only
iritis of the whole try. This state of affairs allows t'lmt it is time for
athletic heads to get busy, either to get suitable athletic representation
at Victoria or to arrange more interesting and even competition.
Spring Play Chosen
The play chosen for this year's
presentation by the Player's Club is
"The Romantic Young Lady," a light
comedy by a Spanish author, Martlnes
Sierra. This play, with its comical
situations and colorful characters will
appeal to the audience. The story
deals with a young girl whoso sentimental ideals lead her to a series
of amusing adventures. Despite the
fact that the author of her favourite
love-stories turns out to be the exact
oposlte to the vision which she has
Imagined, there develops an Interesting romance.
Try-outs for the play will be held
to-day (Wednesday).
Victoria Sports
(Continued from Page 1)
VARSITY  SENIOR   B
The closest game of the Varsity
Senior B. season was played Thursday night, when Varsity lost to Jordan River 16-15. One minute before
the whistle blew the score was 15-14
for Varsity, but a last minute basket
reversed the result.
The game was extremely tight,
with some real starring on the Varsity aide of the floor. Ted McEwen
held Arnold Henderson of last year's
Varsity squad scoreless by putting up
a magnificent defense, while the
team as a whole worked In good combination.
VAR8ITY INTERMEDIATE B
Varsity's Intermediate B basketers
were at the top end of a 17-10 score
In an Interesting game with the Victorian 1st Presbyterians at the Victoria High School Oym on Saturday
morning. Both sides played a fairly
close checking game throughout, but.
the Victorians, who had a lighter
team were unable to keep up with the
University men.
Victoria—Cudllp, Kllllck, Forbes,
Acres, Rowlands.
Varsity—Nlcholaon .Chapman, Hor-
ton, Swanson, Williams.
GOLF
Varsity's Invading Walker Cup
Team returned without the coveted
trophy after the future Bobby Jones
and Hagens took a neat trouncing
from their brothers across the water.
Steve Brynjolfson and Fisher paired up to beat Reg Wilson and Jack
Richardson S and f>. In these two
Victoria boys the locals ran up
against too much experience.
Moore and Terry also of Victoria
had a more even match with McKwen
and Proctor, winning one up.
Doherty and Baker paired up and
took a defeat from Bachelor and
Smith of the Inland school   I and 2.
Despite the defeats the addition of
the Royal and Ancient game to the
programme of Varsity sports Is a
weloomm one, in a few years time
our mashlo wlelders may hold their
own with the best in the province.
Lack of practice and links, however,
does not produce golf players, and
little can be done till links are obtained.
ICE HOCKEY GAME
Playing a faster and more experienced game Victoria had a decided
edge in the first and third periods of
tbe annual hockey game. In tho
second period Varsity put up a great
fight scoring one goal and leaving
their opponents scoreless.
Parker and Don Farrlo were each
responsible for one goal for Varsity.
The bell left Victoria on the long
end ot a 5-2 score.
The teams were—Victoria: Straith;
Foster and Fitzslmmons; Smith,
Green and Manuel. Varsity. Richmond; Rhodes and Smith; Parker, R.
Farrls and D. FarrlB; Fagan.
BADMINTON
in previous yeare the Badminton
•earn has usually been able to add a
few points to the Varsity score; but
this year a weakened team facing
much stlffer opposition suffered a
severe defeat.
The Alt Star Victoria had by far
the better of the play, winning twenty-
two out of twenty-four matches.
In spite of the unequal score many
of the games were keenly contested
Hid  went   to three sets.    Diana Por-
tous  and  "Bobby"   Pound  registered
>.t' only win for lT. I). C.
Team—1 Harm Porteous. "Hobby"
Pound. Tiny Gillies, Nan Forsyth.
Med. MeKarlaiie, Ian Stevenson, |{ob
Noble, Jack Shakespeare.
WOMEN'S   BASKETBALL
A spectacular basketball gume between Varsity Senior II Women and
Victoria College was staged at. the
High School Saturday morning. It was
undoubtedly one of Ihe most worthwhile events of the Invasion and resulted in a narrow win for Varsity.
Victoria scored heavily In the first
half and when the whistle blew the
count wns 8-0 In favor of the home
team. Varsity's superior form showed
Itself at the beginning of the second
half and useful passing was a feature
of the game. The score was tied 11-11
un 111 the last, minute, when Jean Musgrave shot the deciding basket, making the final score 13-11.
Varsity line-up: Jean Musgrave (6);
Marjorie Lannlng (3); Oerry Whlta-
ker (2); Doris Woods (2); "Red" McLeod; isobel Hedley,
SWIMMING
'Varsity lost the swimming to the
Victoria V. M. C. A. nt the Crystal
Garden Pool. This was the first event
on Hie Invasion programme. The
point  score wns 72 to  (2,
The oDleluls In charge of the gala
were. Referent*, 11 B, Witter and U.
W, Hibberson; starter, Chas. Hnpnjr;
finish judges, K. 11. A. Russell, B. C.
Nicholas and Awrie Varsity; diving
Judges, Chas. Hooper, R. W. Whiter
son, Bert. Tupper; announcer W. C
Hudson; timekeepers, W. W. Murtln,
II. Taylor nnd Awde Varsity; recorder,
Dave Lepage.
The complete results are as follows:'
100 yards, back stroke, men—1, R.
Wilson, Varsity; 2, W, Peden, Y.M.
C.A.; 3, K. Darbyshlre, Y.M.C.A, Time,
1 min. 23 sees.
All pictures for the Annual muct
be taken at Brldgman's Studio before
ihe 31st of January. That is all members of the graduating years, athletic
teams, and executives (major executive).    The Individual  pictures  cost
>ach student. $1.25!! Will all the
girls please remember to wear a
white collar (not a boy's collar) because If the black gown is not relieved
by white the appearance of the picture |m spoiled, and tt will delay the
Annual If they have to be retaken.
Write-ups can be handed In at tho
nubllcatlons board any time. If possible try to get them done by the end
11' January.
Class and club write-ups are to be
'ime hy the various secretaries,
. *»> ■•
Debating League
Thu University's two teams In the
Vancouver Debating League have won
ihe two contests scheduled for January 10th by default. The subject was
'o have been: "Resolved: That a
pedal tax be levied on Bachelors
over the age of 25 yeara." The Young
Liberals defaulted to Varsity, and the
Young Conservatives to the V. B. C.
On January the 24th the U, B. C.
will meet the Vancouver Parliamentary Debating League, and the Varsity team will oppose the Young Conservatives on the subject: "Resolved:
That ihe scheme of government of
Mi rat Britain Is superior in form and
Alteration to that of the United States.
Students wishing to take part In
Hiese   debates   please   get   ln   touch
'Ui the M. L, S. executive.
Women's diving—1, Mrs. Steele,
Y.M.C.A.; 2, Jean Gilley, Varsity; 3,
Nelly Melllsh, Varsity.
100 yards, breast stroke, men—1,
W. Peden, Y.M.C.A.; 2, John Williams, Varsity; 3, Geo, Lang. Varsity.
Time, 1 min. 25 sees.
BO yards, free style, women—1,
Audrey Griffin, Y.M.C.A.; 2, Nelly
Melllsh, Varsity; 3, Owen Bailey.
Y.M.C.A.   Time, 32.5 sees.
100 yarda, free style, men—1, R.
Gillespie, Varsity: 2, O. Parrott,
Y.M.C.A.; 3, W. Peden, Y.M.C.A.
Time, 1 min. 13 1-5 sees.
Men's diving— 1, G. Baker, Varsity,
2. B. Peden, Y.M.C.A.; 3, R. Gordon,
Y.M.C.A.
100 yards, free stroke, women—1,
Audrey Griffin; 2, Owen Bailey; 3,
Marjorie Greenwood, Varsity. Time,
1 min. 14 1-5 sees.
Plunge for distance, women—1,
Florrle Gates, 42 ft. 9 Inch., Y.M.C.A.;
2, Jean Gilley, Varsity; 3, Audrey
Griffin, Y.M.C.A.
50 yards, free style—1, K. Darbyshlre, Y.M.C.A.; 2, W. Peden, Y.M.
C.A.;  3, R. Gillespie, Varsity.    Time,
28 3-5 sees.
'S  a  feather  in
our cap to serve
you with ....
BREAD and CAKES
Fit-Reform
CLOTHING la the Best ClotMna
value In Canada- Quality, Prioe
and Style oossidsrsd.
This Is a strong statsmet te
make, but we stand behind tl.
TURPIN "BROS., LTD.
Men'* Outfitter*
629 GRANVILLE ST
50   yards,   back   stroke
Audrey   Griffin,   Y.M.C.A.
Carter,  Varsity;
wood, Varsltv,    '
women—-1,
2, Mary
3, Marjorie Green-
ime, 4,1  1-5  sees.
fill ya''d:-i, breast stroke, women- 1,
Klorrle Dates, Y.M.C.A.; 2, Mary Hoss,
Varsity; 1, Margaret Hoss, Y.M.C.A.
Time,  l.r> 3-.r> sees.
Plunge for distance, men—1, Greenwood. Y.M.C.A., 55 ft.; 2, R. Gillespie,
Varsity; 3, T. Smith, Y.M.C.A.
Women's relay race—Won by Varsity, with the following team: Margaret Lamb, M. Carter, M. Greenwood
and .N. Melllsh. Tlmo, 2 mins. 36 2-5
sees.
Men's relay race—Won by Y.M.C.A.
with the following team: W. Peden,
L. Greenwood, O. Parrot and K.
Darbyshlre. Time, 2 mlns. 2 2-5 sees.
J.W. Foster Ltd.
435 GRANVILLE ST.
SNAPPY CL0THE8 FOR
YOUNG MEN
ANO   MEN   WHO   STAY
YOUNG
Agents for
BURBERRY
COATS
See US Before Buying
of
INFORMATION
TO
STUDENTS
2nd TERM FEES
NOW DUE
All cheques must be certified and made payable to
"The University of British Columbia."
Arts and Science
Applied Science
Agriculture -     -     -
Nursing      -
Teacher Training Course
$50.00
75.00
50.00
50.00
30.00
Last Day for Payment
Jan. 24th, 1927.
F. DALLAS, Bursar. *v
.January 12th, 1927
THE   UBYSSEY
s=
MfjeK-fl-MUeK
Published
<&{$ When Possible
Editor: John Craig Oliver, Pres. A.M.S.
Policy   -   -   Devil Take the Hindmost
No Flowers
By Request
The Age of Thrills
Collage days are joyous days—life moves fast—thrill follows thrill,
ln butween I lino* there's work tu do— exacting; work—work ihat
needs the bust possible vision. Make sure your eye* see wilh Ihe
•harpnevn and clearness they are capable of.
Three Registered Optometrists to Serve You.
Norman G. Cull Ltd.
Proscription Opticians sod Specialists
69B-GRANVILLE-695
Room and Board
For University Boys
IN NEW HOME
Warm Rooms
Floaty of Hot Water
Qood Meals
4638 - 5th Avenue
Point Grey
Phono. Point Grey 716-R
WINTER GARDEN
Available for
Oaaoea, Bridge aad Sooial Funotlone
Enlarged and newly decorated.
CABARET OANCE
EVERY SATURDAY NIBHT.
English Buy Pleasure Pier
2024 Beech Avenue
S«y. 9032 L. G. Thomas, Mgr.
6~-
Aggies!
Spencer's
Championship
Agricultural
Exhibition
an Outstanding
Event for 1927
More than twenty Itve
animals on the tlfth floor,
new building—a galaxy of
British Columbia's champions brought In from
points throughout the Fraser Valley and other vartn
of tho province. Farm products covering the entire
range of agriculture. A
remarkable udu c u 11 o n a 1
programme for the betterment of the ttnMro agricultural ImluMti-y In ii. O.
Bach exhibit iIImi'iihnihI and
dnmonslrntnit i><r«"inully bf
li'iiillnit aiillinrlili'H from
tha ritiiHM <>r iiir fi'ibriil
(iml provincial <li|iitrlm«ntN
of intrli'iiMni'i', He' I'nlvnr-
sliy    nf    lirlilMli    i'olimililii
nnd    oilier    hoiii •».      You
simply  iiiiihi  nn'   HiIn imbibition
laMft   Fifth   Floor,   Wew
■aU«laf--4aat.ary 17 to as
Open to tho PufcUo
Dsril W„
LIMITBD
Happy New Year
The ghost of Torquemeda strolled
into the English 13 class out ot mere
Idle curiosity. It was the first day of
the term, and the students were feeling cheerful from pleasant recollections of the Victoria Invasion.
Solemn and austere, the tall professor was gazing down upon his
studentH while a bitterly cynical
smile played upon his classical features.
"1 wish you a happy new year, if
it is not too late," he began. (A look
of apprehension passed over the faces
of the class.)
"I had the 'flu when I marked the
papers.   They gave me some relief."
"The marks wero lower than those
of the two preceding years." (More
groans.)
"Only nine flrst classes—four
failed." (Still more groans, and a
shudder of horror.)
"The Christmas exams will count 40
per cent, on the finals." (A tew
shrieks.)
"The results of the exams ot the
two higher years will count at the
final mark." (Several collapses.)
The Professor gritted his teeth, and
then, with his Mona Lisa smile began
to discuss the questions in detail.
"The first question was set for the
•er-dumb-bells. You should have
made marks on that question. Most
of you deliberately disregarded tho
time limit and wrote three pages on
this question." (Low walls.)
"Some of you gave a synopsis of
one of Scott'H novels instead of a
criticism." (Several students collapsed.)
After one glance at the agonized
faces, Torquemeda, hardened as he
was, shuddered and left the room,
with his hands to his eyea.
"We were pikers ln the Inquisition,"
he sighed, before he vanished.
Commodore Cafe
Delicious Meals.   Courteous Servloe-
•:•   0ANCIN8   •:•
872 Granville Street
Everything
In
Athletics
1020 does one thing all
the time—handle* the beit
quality in every line of
Spoiling   Good*   carried,
Granted 1020, itself, ii
taying (hit, but the privilege it yourt at all timet
In put tins pledge to the
tot.
A,
Lisle Fraser
Sporting Goods
1 filCi GRANVILLE
1UZU STREET
The Future Feature
Though tho tlmo Is 1999 AD. and
place the U.B.C. Campus. Freshettes
nre still Freshettes and ancient Home
Ho. ttullrilngM are gone but not forgotten. An archaeological society has
been formed to preserve tho records
of antiquated courses of this venerable
institution and to restore the synthetic traditions of long ago.
Julius McJool was coming from a
meeting of the Hysterical Society and
It chanced as ho passed the Applied
Cosmetics llulldlng that he heard Daring Dart, Arts 2001, call futuristlcally
to a fascinating freshette, "Station
WXYZ: Romeo—tea—I: IB—ne for-
getter, pas."
Apart from bolng a member ot the
Hysterical Society and a Future Editor
on the "Ubyssey" Julius was also an
Inventor and just n Btep before his
time.
"Urn," he said placing his forefinger In tho middle of his forehead after
the puzzled manner of a future editor.
"Be a step before our time. My motto."
He took out his pocket aeroscope,
pressed a button, which caused It to
expand, jumped In, then, put on his
extra-high-power brain-concentration
apparatus, adjusted the oramshaft,
propped up six novels in front ot him
and proceeded to road them all at
once. He read novels because he was
taking English 18, and had to face the
ire of Professor Jane Austen Wood
III, At last he had absorbed enough
of the stimulant and reached a decision. "Rome," he said at last. He
Unshed through the air and in about
twenty minutes arrived In Mussolini-
vllle (formerly Rome.) He walked
over to the city passing lots of U.B.C.
students eating Neapolitan ice cream
as Freshettes are still Freshettes, and
still expensive,
He came at last to the Futurfarea
Cafeteria which was like the cafeteria they had about seventy-three
years ago ln the U.B.C. In both of
them you got queer things to eat.
Julius entered. He sat down and
put on his E.H.P.B.C.A. (see above)
to learn what to do with his rival
Daring Dart.
"Murder," he futurlphlzed, "like the
Arts '20 Relay Race and cheating in exams, is out of date. Ah! I'll prove the
power of my latest experiment!
He jumped up, took off his Extra-
High- etc. etc. and donned his Best-
Magnetic-Personality. He walked to
the door of the Futurfarea Cafeteria
and resolutely stopped out. At the
same moment the fascinating freshette, Bluebird, appeared In her autoae-
roscoot, Freshettes are not allowed
to take themselves to Italy by edict
of Emperor Mussolini VI., but she forgot, and because Julius had on his
11. P. M. she had tea with him in
tabloids. "What," said Julius as they
sampled future tare, "shall I do with
the deep dyed desperado Daring
Dart?"
"That It trlto. It Is also alliteration,"
replied Bluebird in the old-fashioned
manner of a freshette, ns proved by
research In the 1925-26 Ubyssey.
"But triteness Is a trait of the
future," said Julius, "and that is why
no English II B theme was ever tolerated."
"English IIB," said Bluebird, "I
suppose there must be Sophomores
even In these enlightened days," At
that moment a shadow appeared on
the wall.
(To be extinguished In the next
Issue.)
PALMAM QUI MERUIT FERAT
Tommy Harnett ngnln made a mistake by not going to Victoria, when
he could have enjoyed himself Immensely at the Crystal Onrdens, throwing the palm trees out of the window,
MORE KRAX
'Vanity's basketball at Victoria r#.
sembled pyrrohea,  It  got 4 out of B,
a     «     *
Victoria must he one ol tlifMe wild
and woolly western towns one rends
about. It teems with cow-boys of
the drug store variety. This Is borne
out by the fuel that the corner of
noughts und Fort Streets, said to
be Victoria's "busiest" centre, has
drug stores on three of Its corners.
a     •     *
To-day's awful thought—only fourteen more weeks till the final exams.
ttbttuarti
Ave Alma Mater
Atque Vale
MATIR
Dlod at Woodward's Landing,
December 22nd—Alma Mater,
beloved Horeo of Students'
Counoil.
Passing away peacefully In
hor eleop oho leaves to mourn
her loos no children (as far as
le known).
No flowers by request,
Funeral from Olobo Fertiliser
Co. Parlors.
ALMa\MATER
(Alma Mater, Counoil Horee.
Obi It Deo. 22, 1MB)
Alma Mater!  Alas for the sad truth!
Fair Is the fun'ral wreath upon thy
grave;
Friend of our Council, companion of
our youth,
Our flags at half mast wave!
Alma Mater, daughter of our farm,
Proud horse of other days, we oft
have met;
hi this great time of grief we can't
be calm,
Forbid us to forget.
Alma Mater, 'midst thy many flowers
Thou cannot grase on barley or on
corn;
But still we mourn thee through the
weary hours,
The greatest horse e'er born.
Alma Mater, noble in thy fame!
(We   grope   and   fumble   for   our
handkerchief,
We  shed  our   tears,  and   still  can
scarce refrain
From dying In our grief.
Alma Mater, horse of bygone days,
The Council sought to sell thee, but
Indeed,
Thou'st   cheated   their   vain   efforts.
Now you graze
In paradise of feed!
P. H. K.
PRESENTS THEV DID  NOT
RECEIVE:
Prof.   L.  Robertson—Another  red  tie.
Prof. T.  Wood --"Snappy Stories."
J. llldliiRton, Esq.—Gillette.
Prof. A. F. B. Clark-Alarm clock.
Miss Hansford—New recipe for lemon
(?) pie.
Dr. Ashton—Subscription to "La Vie
Parlstenne."
Johnny Oliver—New horse.
Max Cameron—More copy.
Muck Editor—Nerve tonic.
WtrVei Got tht
Double-Breasted
Bluet
In good quality serge suits
that look far better than
the price.
$22.50
C. D. BRUCE
DM IT SO
Cor. of Hastings aad Heater Sts.
ANATOMICAL
BOOT  REPAIRING
43SS TENTH AVENUE, WEST
PHONE:  POINT OREY 604
ORDBRS CALLRD FOR   AND  DSLIVBRBD
The University
Book Store
Hour* :
11 a.m. lo A p.m.
Shi until y*, II u.itt. lo 1 p.m.
Loose-Leef Nolo Boofci,
Exeroioe Book* and Sorlstlero
At Seduosd Prioes
Alee, SratMo and Enoineerleg Pager
Btelofv Peeer, Looee-Leatf RofMIs
Fountain Pest and Isk
Peaells aad Drawing Instruments
ALL YOUR BOOK SUPPLIf 8 Solo Mere
Drive Yourself I
PH0M.SIY.SW
RENT-A-CAR
LIMITID
Special Rates for Oanoee, eto.
S8S SEYMOUR ST.
CORDON ORAIQ
(ARTS MS)
RADIO SPECIALIST
COMPLETE LINE OF PARTI
AND SETS.
EXPERT REPAIR DEPARTMENT.
See Ma First, Not Last /
Phone, 8ey. 6808
637 RICHARDS STREET
HereWeAreAftalii!
All ready for the Spring Term aad
ite many danoee, partfee, aad so
forth, plus oooailonal boxes of
SAPP CHOCOLATES to finish them
off nicely,
Sey. 8217
ORPHEUM TNIATNI BLOC.
J. R. Tolmie, Arts 19, writer at shove ad-
wins Great 8»pp Ad. Handicap for second
tint*. C'mon, Mr. Tolmie I brim In this cony of
Ubyssey and receive keg of Sapp Chocolate*
free.   More mi. wanted I
LOOSE LEAF
RIMS  BOOKS AND REFILLS
THESIS SHEETS
ORAWINQ MATERIALS
FOUNTAIN PENS
THS
CLARKE
AND
STUART
CO.. LTD.
550 SEYMOUR ST. $$fo
Phona, Seymour 3000 THE   UBYSSEY
■nt——fa
January I2th, iws7  **
MEN
The famous Vanity Oxfords have arrived
at last!
Our new buyer has secured the agency
for this snappy line in Vancouver.
These Collegiate styles are designed and
built by two young college men who
know what young men want.
In developing new styles, they work in
close conjunction with many leading college retailers, leather, last and pattern
men. You can now get these real college styles from—
McRobbie Shoe Co.
S63 GRANVILLE ST.
ettselUna
encil
emiitypi
mtkewotld
Superlative in quality,
the world-famous
\7ENUS
yPENOLS
give best service and
longest wear.
3
COpyio*
Atatl
dealers
Buy
a
dozen PMn ends, per do«. Si.00
Asmtksm Tern** Ce,, 215 Fife* Ave,,lf.Y.
Cekfedfmal* la U «oiot»—S 1.00 par doe.
Lest You
Forget—
When you are writing
those letters acknowledging the beautiful
Xmas Gifts you have
recedved1 from diatant
friends, do not forget
that the U.B.C. Note
and Envelopes ara just
the thing.
Sold ai the Book Store.
r
Made by
GEHRKFS
LIMITED
Stationers, Printers.
- ' Engravers - »
566 SEYMOUR STREET
US
Vemard's
Vernacular
Vulgarities
Varsity Frosh, Sophs and those that
learned about three years ago that
there was no Santa Claus took the
family hammer and chisel, opened the
Utile bank and extracted enough or
the silver tinkle to make the annual
Victoria Jaunt.
If anybody tries to tell you that
they went over to watch fifteen boys
with less dollies on than themselves
muss up ii Victoria Hep teum In their
own backyard, they were misinform,
ed.
Every good son of the Alma Mater
went to the birthplace of Sleepy Town
Ual to be able to Bay that he or she
uis the distinct and undying honor
or taking part In the seventh annual
empress Motel Round-up.
To say that the crowd was disappointing would Infer a double meaning not originally Intended but stating it In Bronx English the home
waits should have beon "Ood Help
The Sailors Ou a Night Llko This."
About 11 o'clock to be exact, the
old Bland bys began to raise the usual
squawk or when do we eat. but they
night as well have tried to Induce
the mayor of Victoria to turn his
home Into a "Babies Hospital," because the eats just were't there,
Some poor thirsty "among those
present," tried the extraordinary
stunt or getting a refreshing drink
rrom the gold flsh pond but he forgot
that It was Saturday night ami now
he won't need another bath until Hat
unlay night, January  ISth.
Well the laws In this province prohibit any music being played on Hun-
'lay thai might Increase or proloiiK
inoiiomi or the legs, arms or eyes, so
the symphony boys packed up their
i alt lees hiiiI  went  home.
Jimmy, oh, Mamma, I have a foot,
ball'
Mamma: Well put some corn platter on It to-night.
Large Room Available
with Board
FOR TV/O STUDENTS
Waatfira Parkway   -   University Hill
Mrs. G. A. MeGlll
* MUCK-A-MUCK*
HOW ITJJARTED
Samson was annoyed with the
Philistines. He tore up and down
their best temple on the rampage and
began disarranging things. After
breaking up the furniture and a few
priests, he began pushing the walls
down,
The Philistines rushed to the nearest exits and peeked the fire escapes
in their hurry to get out. Samson
got still rougher aad at last stood between the two main pillars ot thu
temple and pushed them apart,
This aot simply brought the house
down.
see
The searchers digging among the
ruins found the body of Samson with
his head resting on a pillar. The
coroner was summoned and an Inquest
was held.
"What did he die eft" the coroner
asked the doctor.
"fallen Arches," be replied.
SOME DEGREE
|    IHI  S'H'S  I  I  I  S'l   I  S S"IS  llt« I I SI I
Litany Coroner
SO STARTS ANOTHER DAY
My heart was beating badly
As 1 climbed aboard the bus,
And my eyes were downcast sadly
For my hair was ln a muss.
Yet I soon forgot my feelings
In the things that happened then
For the bus began Its reelings
(My watch said  half-past  ten).
Then commenced a maddening journey.
For the crowd of cars en route
Were rushing  wildly  round the  bus,
The bus? It went toot-toot.
At last I spied a truck ahead
Tho bus had nearly passed,
The truck was black, the bus was red
And both were going fast.
The cars were racing neck and neck,
They  gave  a  sickening  lurch,
The   truck   was   left:   a   splintered
wreck,
The  bus  paint   got  a smirch!
I   felt  a   something   strike   my head!
1 Jumped up ln dismay!
And   found that I was  still  lu  bed,
Ho starts another day!
—P.H.K.
ANOTHER LAB. LYRIC
How doth the little sophomore
Improve her chopped up clam
While all about her sweot lab door
Awaits long suffering man.
How gracefully she spreads It out
Through a microscope to see,
Full well she knows he watts without
To take her down to tea.
The world's worst creature Is the
man who takes a Tuxedo on the Victoria Invasion.
KAITCKRAX
"At the Qate Beautiful," Our Lib.
rarlan.
see
"What made you fall In Mat he. 1,
at Christmas?   "The Vule logo."
see
"Mark my words," said the etudent
ae ho handed In his theme.
• •   •
Freeh—"Oo, look at Santa Glaus."
Senior—"That  ain't  Santa  Claws,
that'a a Librarian."
see
The eo«s of Hen No. S are selling
at tM.00 apleoe.   The only trouble
with the chickens aro that they may
lake after thslr father Instead of tholr
.nether—and not lay eggs.
»   •   ♦
She was just a book-keeper's daugh*
ter, but she was a credit to him.
A bright young ohemlstry student,
says that at present the names of
aoldo end In "lo." aleeholo In "ol" and
jaita  In Mete," but to be titrletly
oflloal,   alcohol   generally   ends   In
Victoria may be wide-awake, but
the Varsity Invaders notlood that the
Current Issue of tho "Colonist" was
„«ted "January 7, 1M6."
• •   •
A traffic jam In Viotorla wao alao
totioed. It was eoneldered to be the
worot In 16 years and three oars wero
actually Involved.
ALLEGED JOKES
"What do you think of the Museum
of Art?"
"Oh, the pictures are good enough,
but there ain't go good jokes ln under them."
—Wesley an Wasp.
e    •    •
"Ooh, there's been a terrible crime
committed!"
"And are you running for the
police?"
"No,   not   for—because of."
—Stanford Chaparral.
• •   •
"Hear about the robbery at tho
camp?"
"No.   Was there much stolen?"
"Everything was cleaned out. Even
the bores ot the cannons were rifled."
• •   •
"We have a new kitten over at our
house."
"What are you going to call it?"
"Peary."
"Oh, I see, It's a polecat"
see
Frosh: "What's your favorite drink
among the students of this university?"
Boph:    "Half and half."
Frosh: "Do you mean half milk and
half  cream?"
Soph:    "No,   half    turpentine,   half
Hlcohol."
eea
I tear Old (lent: Who are you work-
Ins for now, ltastus?
Hastus: Ah'm workln' ro' mah mas-
tali's.
1 >.< >.(!.:    Legree?
R.:  No;  degree.
e    e    e
"Let's have » little light on this
subject," spoke the king, as he walked Into the dark dungeon to view his
prisoner.
NOTICE
The men who are looking for an
opportunity to get into Varsity athletics have their opportunity ln the Junior Canadian Rugby Team,which Is being organised Immediately. The team
will have many men new to the game,
so no one will be at a disadvantage.
Organization meeting, Wednesday,
Arts 108 at 12.16. A practice schedule will be posted.
**wmm IsIm% •****
w Ba^nHUl ^ aMMSM
f
Back to Vanity!
Yei.1l Need a New
|| Shirt, Tie or pair ol Sooke
We Have 'Em t
10% DU—eat te Sudeats.
"Your Bosom Friend*3
Gold's Hibordiskorf
oSS ROBSON ST.
AT GRANVIIX1
Seeing Victoria
\.<l<"
Bf**
• We
COMMERCIAL
AND
SICRITARIAL SCHOOL
LTD.
A Good School to attend.
INDIVIDUAL OMRMS
MICH STAMMim
If. C, Duffus, Free,
.
70S
GEORGIA, W.
"The School
Seyaaeur 7SS4
gets reselte."
/set
REMINGTON
PORTABLE
TYPEWRITERS
Compact as a watch a
neoeeelty for everyone
who haa writing to ot.
19.00 dows and SA.00
a sioath wHl boy one of
these wonderful machines
with carrying case.
Very Special Price to
Varsity Students.
AT THE UNIVERSITY BOOKSTORE
— on —
Remington Typewriter (o.
S86 SEYMOUR STRUT
Phone, Sey. 8408
You will enjoy your lunch
the more if our Bread is
used.
Canadian Window Bakerlis
LIMITIO
Evans &
•:•     PIONEER     •;•     •!■
SETTER QUailTV MINTtSS
Price* Right
<SP
m ou tueeiii'vt iusimiii ««»nt
IN   VANtOUVI*   ••«»•»   CONClVIIVil*
TNA?  Wt all  •*»•••■  MO SB  THAU
OTMIM tf 'Ml llaCTiet »ttlll«
whin tai* miai TSUI
«««(«'• *eim
IP
Danoe ftegraameo, Legal Ferae,
Sooial Stationery,
Peeler Work,
Seaeral Cemmerolal PrlntJntj
See as before ordering elsewhere.
Phone, Sey. IBS      878 Bey moor St

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