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The Ubyssey Jan 10, 1939

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 ORDER TOTEM
TODAY
ONE DOLLAR
(Fiji? 3lbyH0£g
Published Twice Weekly by The Publications Board of The University of British Columbia
HIJINX
OYM
THURSDAY
Vol. XXI.
VANCOUVER, B.C., TUESDAY, JANUARY 10, 1939
No. 22
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HERE
AND
THERE
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By J. O. MACFARLANE
Across Canada today students
in every university are rising in
support of a campaign for $500,-
000 for one thousand national
matriculation scholarships to be
supplied by the Federal government.
In eaoh section of the country,
with the university oampua as a center, the Canadian Btudent Assembly
la waging the campaign through ita
local representatives, the amall groupa
of student* who have offered their
services ln support of the momentous drive.
With the consolidation of atudent
support In each part of the Dominion the eampalgn will widen IU circle
to bring ln the major olties at whloh
the universities are situated, Anally
widening further to Include the surrounding communities and the provinces at large.
The last step ta the process will
be  the delegation In early March
to Ottawa when a selected group of
student representatives  will  go  to
tbe federal cabinet armed with a
petition and tbe support of tbe public at large to ask for tbe adoption
of a resolution and tbe Introduction of a bill In the House of Commons   making   provision   for   tbe
much needed scholarships.
The delegation will go to Ottawa
with the support of the member from
Essex Bast, Mr. Paul Martin, who In
1937   Introduced   a   resolution,   ultimately   defeated,  into  the  House  on
the matter of National Scholarships:
and the delegation will further have
support from a large number of the
other  members if  the  object  of  the
campaign ls reached, that of apply-
' ing   sufficient   pressure   to   the  local
members   so   that   parliament   as   a
whole   feels   that   public   opinion   ls
sufficiently strong a warrant such a
grant.   It   was   the   absence  of  such
support which defeated Mr. Martin's
resolution tn 1937.
The new petition to be presented
in March will ask for a new resolution and for legislative action on
tbe matter on tbe basis of tbe precedents set by the Technical Eduoatlon Act of 1919, by the Royal
Military College at Kingston, and
by the National Research Council
at Ottawa.
PROGRESS
At present the universities in the
prairie provinces are still ln the organization stage, with detailed plans
laid for approaching service clubs,
the Canadian Club, and other public
organizations by means of public addresses. In addition, radio programs
are being planned, while leading public citizens will be approached personally by leading students, and city
councils and School Boards asked to
add their support. This is being done
by working first through campus organizations and clubs, and in most
cases valuable assistance Is being
rendered by student newspapers.
In Ontario, the University of Western Ontario ls proceeding with similar plans, and much the same situation exists, with student organizations and clubs being the first objective, and then the City of London
next. The London Rotary Club, the
Kiwanls, Lions and other Service
Clubs, the Canadian Club, London
Board of Education and the London
City Council are some of the outstanding organizations which will be
approached.
DIFFICULTY
At the University of Toronto students are waging a more difficult
flght, with the "Varsity" taking a
stand against the scheme from all
Indications. The local Student Assembly Is waging Us campaign by
public meetings and by personal con-
tace on the university campus but,
as yet, the support of the Students'
Council and the Varsity has not been
granted, although Uie Canadian University    Press    correspondent   of    tlie
See HERE 'N THERE
(Continued on Page 2)
SOPHISTICATED JUNIORS TO
SPARKLE AT ANNUAL PROM
The Junior Prom, annual social event of the Third Year Arts
class will take pluce at the Spanish Orill on January 26th and
will be preceded by a scintillating Pop Meet Tuesday of the snme
week, two days before the event.
PROM QUEEN
Nominations are now in order for
the Prom Queen, the executive an
nounces. Bach nomination must be
accompanied by at least eight signatures, and should be handed into
Mr. Horn's office in the Auditorium
building by January 31.
The pep-meet will  consist mainly
of   a  musioal   programme   and   will
feature Mart Kenny and his smooth-
styled     Western     Oentlemen.     The
young ladles who aspire to the honored position of Prom Queen will be
presented   during  a  short   Intermission and it is anticipated that each
one will undergo a short Interview.
Tbe   glnger-gatherlng   Is   calculated   nnd  guaranteed   to  oast  a
spell on thoae present, according
to Class President Basil Robinson,
and should fan enthusiasm for tbe
function to a white beat.
A ballot-box will be placed at the
bottom of the Caf stairs during the
laat week, and all ticket-holders will
be entitled to insert a vote.
MUSIC AND TICKETS
All primed for an evening, Mart
Kenny and his Western Oentlemen
will provide the music for which they
are famed, and dancing will last
from 9.80-1.00.
The price of tickets has yet to be
definitely   fixed   but   lt   ls   probable
that   the   demand   will   be   so   great
that sales may have to be limited.
Class members will of oourse receive free admission to the event
by merely presenting their passes
at the door to those ln charge of
the ticket sales.
New   plans   are   tentatively   made
for    the    investiture    of    the    Prom
Queen,  while  decorations  under  the
supervision   of   Vice-president   Pauline Scott will add a note of originality to the proceedings.
An appetizing supper of the cabaret style will, be served and ls expected to follow immediately the
crowning of Queen.
FORUM WlU DISCUSS
HITLER ON THURSDAY
'Time' magazine goes on trial
Thursday 7.30 p.m. in Arts 100 when
Forum members discuss its choice
of Adolf Hitler as the most important man of the year, 1938.
Hill Tolmie will lead the government forces In support of the resolution  "That  Hitler Is the  man  of
the year."
Leader   of   the   opposition   -will   be
Doug.   Wilson,   who   ls   making   his
flrst  major  debate  at  this  time.
Professor J. Friend Day will preside. It is expected that he will make
his usual constructive criticism of
the various speakers.
SCIENCEMEN PLAN
FOR ANNUAL BRAWL
Promising to be a Bigger Riot
than ever, this year's Sclenoe Ball,
limited aa usual to Sclencemen,
will be held on Thursday, February 18.
Tbe final plans bave not yet been
mode but It la expeoted to be held
at   either    the  Commodore   or  the
Cave.
This   year's   patrons    and    patronesses  are  expected  to  be:   President
und Mrs. Klinck, and Dean and Mrs.
J.    N.    Finlayson.      Tickets   for   this
night of Paradise are expected to be
$3,00   per   couple.
A Science Pep Meeting will be
held on Thursday, January 19, in
Ap. Sc. 100, as a preliminary ko the
Pep Meeting that will probably be
hold on the afternoon of the ball.
Come on Sciencemen, let's make history with  this  year's  ball.
Bubonic Plague
Hits Campus
Mice ond rats are invading
the campus at n dangerously
increasing rate.
Furthermore authoritative sources
report that the female students of
this institution are aiding ln the advance of this pestilence, little realizing that are furry creatures are
armed with the moat devastating
weapon yet known to sclenoe.
By stuffing tbe sofa* In tbe common room with orange peelings
and little bits of edible this and
tbat tbey are Instrumental In tbe
spread of "THB BUBONIC
PLAQUE."
Just this morning a fearless rodent
had dug his trenoh in ths chesterfield in the Arts building. Only
through the quick work of a sniping
janitor was the culprit annlhalated.
FILES EATEN
The priceless flies of the Publications Department have also been attacked. Again the criminal waa laid
and his head hung on the office door
aa a warning reminder to all ambitious mice that no mercy will be
given. They will not even be allowed
to swallow the cheese before the
trap springs.
MICE AND MEN
With all this, there are still some
who advocate equal rights for mice
and men. The Totem Kdltor, of all
people, shamelessly states that none
should be allowed to pass sentence
of death on such loveable little creatures.
"Who are we to ruthlessly take
the life of a mouse. Are they not
born free as we are?"
The fact remains however that -we
will be undone if we do not take
drastic steps. We must unite, and as
one, rid ourselves of this menace.
Let us take up arms and, Quote,
"And damned be he who flrst cries
'enough enough'," end quote.
SUMMER SESSION TO
HAVE NEW PROFS.
The following are the additional
professors who have been appointed
to the summer session staff:
F. A. Knox, Dept. of Economics
from Queens University; O. A. Krug,
Dept. of Philosophy from Mount
Allison University, Sackville, N. B.;
Dr. O. E. Borden, Dept. of Modern
Languages, Reed Oollege, Portland;
J. A. Sharrard, Dept. of Philosophy
from the University of Saskatchewan.
Dr. W. Lond, Dept. of Philosophy
from the University of Southern
California, Los Angeles; Dr. Eric.
Frigle, Dept. of Geology and Geography, Syracuse University, New
York; Dr. E. Chapman, Dept. of
English, University of Utah, Salt
Lake Olty; Dr. H. E. Smith, Dept. of
Education, University of Alberta.
"SERENADERS"
REHEARSING
ON SET_NOW
"What care we for government
men? Why not a tinker's damn!"
were the words that rang through
the auditorium as the ohorus of the
Musical Society began its first stage
rehearsal for Victor Herbert's "Serenade,"  Saturday.
Tbe following tentative case has
been released by the Musical Society I Yvonne — Marigold Nash:
Dolores Marjorie Usher j Duke of
Santa Crus—Frank Patch) Mother
Superior—Barbara Brooks) Alvar-
ado—Ian Douglas) Romero—Derrick MoDermott) Oomes—Tom Robinson) Lopes—Oeorge Whltehearst;
Colombo—Doug. Ford.
SPANISH BACKGROUND
Amid the barren rocks of old
Spain, with a ruined castle for a
background, directors E. V. Young
and C. Haydn Williams hurried about
here, there, and everywhere, as they
commenced the long and difficult
task of fitting aotion to the music
which the ohorus had already
learned.
For tbe next six weeks, directors
and oast will be working continually, to make "Serenade" a success. If *. first rehearsal may be
taken as any Indication, then tbls
year's presentation should be better than ever.
WIGGS AND VOLPE OF U.B.C.
DEFEAT CALJFORNIAN DUO
WOMAN     DEBATER    ON    TEAM     FROM    THE    SOUTH;
JUDGES     PRESENT    A     SPLIT     DECISION
VICTORIA INVASION
SCHEDULE COMPLETE
The Victoria invasion on February
4, has been arranged by Evan ap-
-tobeits, Junior Member as follows:
The Victoria boat will leave here
at 8.00 and will arrive ln Victoria at
1.30. There will be transportation
from the dock to the McKechnie Cup
game—lt ls hoped!
TEA  DANCE
From the game the crowd will proceed   to   the   Empress  Hotel,    where
the students of Victoria College have
arranged a tea dance for the U.B.C.
Invaders.    Cost of the Tea  Dance  Is
50c,   and   for   the   dance   alone,  30c.
Choice "of a place  for dinner Is
left to the Individual—or the couple!
There will be buses to the basketball game, of Victoria versus U.B.C.
It   has   not  yet   been   decided   when
the   Rowing  Match,   U.B.C.   Rowing
Club against James  Bay Athltlc  Association, will be held.
The boat will leave Victoria on
the return Journey at 9.00 and will
arrive home  at about 1.80.
The Varsity band will enliven the
Invasion and on the way hoine an
orchestra will be In attendance.
Tbe cost of the trip is 98.00 eaoh.
SCHOLARSHIP STUDENTS
Students are requested to oall at
the Registrar's Office for their scholarship cards AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, have them certified and
turned ln to the Bursar's Office by
Monday, January 16, so that, the
second Instalment of the scholarship
money may be paid on the last day
for the payment of second term fees.
Gold Wedding Ring In
Lost and Found Limbo
By JANET WALKER
The Lost and Found office ln the
Auditorium Building holds the suggestion of much romance.
A partial Inventory of Mr. Home's
stock-in-trade shows 16 pencils, a
protractors, 19 fountain pens, 17 extra pen tops.
Psychology 2 and Psychology 4
notes are Included in a real library
of text books. Two slide rules (which
we have heard are quite valuable)
are also taking up space with a compass, a dollar watch, and a lady's
wrist watch.
JEWELRY.
Enough assorted Jewery ls contained here to start a pawn shop or an
auction sale.
Pocket books and key cases, lipsticks, and compacts, initialled pins,
rings,  and club pins,   (Phrateres and
Pep Club) are Included ln the varied
assortment.
A   silver   bracelet   ls  sentimentally
engraved   from   the   sender,   and   Is
also initialled on the front.
IS  THIS YOURS?
There Is even, of all things, a gold
wedding ring, which, according to
Mr. Home, is unlucky because it's
been broken.
There must be many going with
one "dishpan hand," according to
the number of single gloves found.
A pipe reclines in sorrow without
Its master, who may have also forgotten his winter overcoat—which,
unlike many of the articles, takes up
altogether  too  much  space.
Mr. Home has been wondering If
these losers never miss all their valuable property, or whether they've
Just "skipped the country"—besides,
he needs the room!
Men Not Wanted
At High Jinx
No men? No men! When the girls'
Hl-Jlnks begins on Thursday evening
in the gym all masculine gate-crashers will be exterminated with force.
Even    the    orchestra    under    Marie
Abram will contain not a single male.
Tbe   entertainment   will    follow
tbe lines  of  the barn-dance with
"heel-toes",    square    dances,    and
Sohottlsches.    Class   skits   WlU   be
presented   under the   direction of
each vice-president.
COSTUME  PRIZES.
Feature of the evening will be the
co-eds' "march past" the guests,
Dean Bollert, Dr. I. Maclnnes, and
Miss O. Moore to bo Judged on the
merits of costumerle. Prises will be
given for the best fancy-dress.
The cost for this W.U.S. entertainment which will continue from 7 to
9 o'clock is 10c at the door where a
detective system will be installed to
make certain that the attendance
shall contain no men.
By a three to two decision the University of British Columbia
team of Paul Volpe and Frank Wlggs defeated the California
representatives Norman Lowenstein and Margaret Hill in the flrst
Porum debate of the year held yesterday noon in Arts 100.
'■FEMININE DEBATER
Speaking to the resolution "That
Fascism ls a greater menace to civilisation than Is Communism" Miss
Hill claimed that fascism waa only
a temporary solution of the economic and political crises of the present day, ln that it was a constricting society.
"Communism," she maintained,
"Is doing Its beat to solve tho problems for tbe future benefit of mankind."
"Communism tends to annihilate
civilisation," claimed Frank Wiggs
in opening the case for U.B.O. He
believed that it had a greater tendency to suooeed because of its teachings and propaganda; and tbat It
was the greater menace beoause its
fundamental purpose was to destroy
the essential bases of our present
civilisation.
DESTRUCTION OF IDEALS
Lowenstein argued that fasolsm
has destroyed the very Ideals of liberalism besides submerging ths principles of democracy.
"Fasolsm," he maintained, "Is a
reaction te tbe labor movement
which may be regarded as tho fulcrum' of democracy."
ECONOMY AND PHILOSOPHY
In the opinion of Paul Volpe, the
concluding speaker, Communism ls
not a 'doctrine opposed to the conceptions and Ideals of democracy but
lather an economic and philosophical doctrine inrerently opposed to the
economic creed of liberalism—private property, the employer employee relationship.'
"Communist opposition to the spiritual factors of our modern society
which may be considered as the
'fountain head' and source of civilization, can be regarded as a greater
menace than the fascist doctrines involving loss of political freedom," he
concluded.
Prizes Will Be
Given For Photos
Fame and fortune await aspiring
campus photographers.
By way of fortune, a prise of $2.50
is offered to the best shot of a
tea-imbiber In action, turned In by
a student of this University.
In addition, a fcrand prise of
$35.00 will be awarded the all Canadian winner.
For fame, tbe successful U.B.C.
artist will find bis masterpiece on
the front page of the Ubyssey.
What more could you wish?
Deadline for the contest Is Wednesday, Januuary 11.
"T-Shots" may be of the candid-
camera variety, posed portraits, or
the real McCoy. Oet busy, you
snapshooters!
BARBER OF SEVILLE
IN CARNEGIE RECORD
CONCERT TODAY
The weekly Carnegie Record Concerts will be resumed today at 12:3D
In Arts 100. Similar concerts will be
held every Tuesday for the remainder of the term.
This week's program ls to be distinctly popular, will include the melodious and well-known Barber of
Seville overture by Rossini and "The
River Moldau" by Smetana, a lively
and impressive program piece which
interprets the moody grandeur of
that Russian river. Concluding will
be Donizetti's spirited and Ingenious
Sextet from his opera "Lucia di Lam-
mermoor."
Professor Walter Oage will be the
guest speaker.
ILLNESS DEPLETES
FRENCH FACULTY
Madame D. Darlington and Miss
Dorothy Dallas are both reported
absent from the Department of
Modern Languages. It is uncertain
when Madame Darlington will be
able to return owing to the critical
condition of her husband who ls
seriously  ill.
Miss Dallas has been ordered by
the doctor to take n month's rest
and Is at present In the Okanagan.
Miss Tipping and Mile. M. de C'our-
vllle have taken over their lectures
during  their absence.
MAJOR H. B. KING
SPEAKS TO VANC'R
INSTITUTE ON SAT.
At its flrst meeting of the spring
session Saturday the Vancouver Institute will have as Its guest speaker
Major II. B. King, Technical Adviser
to the Department of Education at
Victoria.
Major King's subject will be "The
Significance of the educational
Changes In the Schools of B.C." The
meeting will be held In the Auditorium, Saturday, January 14, at 8.15
p.m. Special B.C. Electric buses will
be at Sasamat to serve those coming and going from the lecture.
TECHNIC0L0UR OF
FIRST NARROW'S
BRIDGE FRIDAY
Tickets for this term's Film Society
showings will be on sale every noon
this week in the Quad Box Office.
The tickets are fifty cents each, and
are good for the five films to be presented this term.
Film addicts please note! The time
of the shows has been changed to
STlday evenings, at 8.15 every other
week. The next film to be presented
ls the official picture of the construction of the Lion's Oate Bridge,
ln technlcoiour.
There will be a meeting of the Film
Society Friday noon at 12.30 ln Arts
100. All members, former, present and
future, are urged to attend.
TOTEM PROFFERS
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Tlie Totem stuff appreciates
tlie co-operation of the student
body when, after phoning 250 of
said body, 40 people made appointments. Xot a bad average
for  students? Two
THE    UBYSSEY
Tuesday, January  10,  1939
THE   UBYSSEY
Issued twice weekly by the Students' Publication Board of the Alma Mater
Society of the University of British Columbia. .
Office: 806 Auditorium Building - - - Phone Point Grey 206
Oampus Subscriptions, $1.50 Mall Subscriptions, $2.00
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
Dorothy Cummings
SENIOR  EDITORS
Tuesday
Irene Eedy
ASSOCIATE   EDITORS
Rosemary Collins
SPORTS   STAFF
Editor: Orme Dier
Friday
Jack Mair
Lester Pronger
Advertising  Office
Standard Publishing Co., 1037 Pender Street West, Vancouver, Vl.C
Telephone:  SEYMOUR 4484
All advertising handled exclusively by Standard Publishing Oo.
Editorials
THE MANAGERIAL SYSTEM
The University of British Columbia may be proud of the numerous athletic achievements marked iu the annals of time by the
numerous teams elad in the well-known blue and gold. The most
westerly of Canadian Universities bows to none when it comes to
the field of sporting endeavour and achievement. The Thunderbird is known and respected from coast to coast and in much of
the northwestern United States. And the system of athletic administration here is one of the best organized and most efficient of
the universities in Canada.
But there is one feature of this system that has caused much
adverse comment within the past few montjis'. It is the system
of awarding managers for the undoubted service they do to their,
respective teams. In the past it has been the custom ,to award
these indispensable cogs in the machinery of the university teams
replicas of the famous big blocks with the distinguishing "M" on
the arm to denote the service they rendered to tho team. The
only fault in this system was that vhe awards wero made when the
term was only half over, while the Big Block winners themselves
had to wait until the end of term to receive their prizes, which
were actually earned the hard way.
But if this was a real abuse, it is claimed that it is further
accentuated by recent awording of Managers Big Blocks to persons who had very little knowledge of the game in question and
who had spent very little time in tho service of the team for
which he was rewarded for serving.
Now, of course, there must be some worthy award to a manager of a team, and that reward must not be trifling, becnuse the
service rendered by a manager can be of greater actual benefit
than that of the greatest athlete that ever lived. But why should
this reward be in the form of the Big Block and why should it be
awarded to the deserving men in the middle of the term, and why
should the awards cause discontent in some sections of the sporting fraternity of the university? Our Athletic Directorate could
well look into this Managerial System, and no doubt a better system could be worked out.
OOWN TRADITION
At every Alma Mater meeting, the students of the University
see their representative council mount the Auditorium platform.
These Council members are garbed in the traditional undergradtt-
ate gown. They would be dismayed if their Councillors should discard this symbol of student undergraduateship.
Behind the scenes in Council meetings, this year's Council has
forgotten the tradition of wearing tho gowns. Ono might ask—
4'well, why Bhould they continue tho tradition started by the flrst
councillors?" There aro several answers for this. Firstly, it is a
tradition and as such should not be discontinued. Secondly, it
would serve as a constant reminder that they are the persons who
have been selected by the students to govern the student affairs,
and to protect the student rights. Tho gown would also serve as a
constant reminder of the dignity attached to their positions and
with which they should conduct the processes of student government.
Last term this official body appointed a committee to investigate this matter and find the necessary apparel for such occasions
as Council meetings.    No report has as yet been forthcoming.
Council meetings have been notably disorderly this year. This
unfortunate situation may be traced to the neglect of garbing
themselves in the dignified gown.
COMMON ROOMS
Two common rooms hnve been provided with comfortable
chesterfields and chairs for the women of this University. In these
hiivius they may relax between lectures or study, according to
their inclinations.
It appears, however, thnt they are unable to treat the furniture
with the same attention thnt they accord the furnishings in their
own homes.
A notice requests that they do not eat lunches in the Common
Rooms, and this is no unreasonable request. Crumbs and food
particles attract vermin which destroy the upholstery. All women
know this, nnd university women especially. If they were not
aware of the fact before, surely the notice posted in these same
rooms would bring it to their attention.
Why, then, can they not net like civilized creatures, nnd eat
their lunches- in the Cafeteria, which i.s provided for that purpose.
MUSEUM DAMAOE
Some U.B.C. students seem unable to recognize a privilege
when they have one. This fact is borne out by such destructive-
ness ns occurred in the Geology Museum last term, when students
smashed an ore sample which will cost the University some $50 to
replace.
However, tho value to tho University of that sample cannot
bo truly represented in terms of money. The whole original specimen represented the way in which our students appreciate such n
unique gift. Its destruction, therefore, is a sign of ingratitude.
It is, nlso, an effective and simple way to stop other universities
and private collectors from giving us any more such specimens.
This last point is one of prime importance. U.B.C. is, at present, badly in need of more gifts such as are to be found in the
Geology Museum. Perhaps if the majority of students were to
foster a spirit of honesty and appreciation amongst the more questionable minority then more of these gifts might be available.
FIREMAN'S LIFE IS NOT ALL
BEER AND HORSESHOES
UNIVERSITY   KIREHALL.
HAS   HIGH   STANDARD
Those who perambulate hither and
yon at noon hours and between lectures have probably noticed a small
building overlooking the Botanical
Gardens. They may have, If freshmen, speculated Idly upon its purpose, but the more initiated know
that it houses the University Fire
Department, the pride and Joy of its
genial head, Chief O. L. Lister.
TWO UNITS
This is one unit of the department
proper, the other hall being at Acadia
Road.  The Board of Governors and
the   Provincial  Government   co-operate here to afford protection  to the
whole   area,    comprising   the    seven
miles     between     41st     Avenue     and
Marine Drive and Spanish Banks.
In this area tbe force comprises
the  chief,   a  captain,   six  firemen
and two patrolmen. The buildings
are   patrolled   through   the   night
and on holidays. Here the Provincial   Police   work   In   conjunction
with the department,  two  policemen   being   quartered   In   part   of
Number One Hall at Acadia.       *
The majority of alarms are for bush
and rubbish Ares, The odd house and
car  conflagration,  however,  contributes to the excitement of being a fireman.  One  day last  fall  the  brigade
was called out to Spanish Banks to
find smoke pouring forth from an automobile  there.  The Are ws  soon  extinguished,  but  the  owner,  an  electrician of some repute and a luminary    in    a    neighbouring    city   was
rather embarrassed to And that the
trouble was caused by the cigarette
lighter ln the car short-clrcutlng.
1NIIALATOR CREW
The department Is well equipped
for an area of this size. It boasts
two 12 cylinder trucks, one at each
hall, and the latest chemioal Are
fighting apparatus. The men who are
thoroughly trained in all flrat aid
work have all the necessary facilities, including an lnhalator of the
most modern type. This was used to
good advantage as reoentiy at the
freshman  bonfire last  fall.
Instead of the ordinary booster
pump a new high pressure carbon-
dioxide apparatus haa been Installed
This device does way with the old
soda and acid type formerly used.
The force Is equipped with gas
masks of the latest make for combatting smoke and fumes. In addition to the roof ladders there are
several 24-foot extension ladders and
one 40-foot ladder.
QUICK ACTION
Calls are received in the hall over
the alarm system or the Are telephone nnd are transmitted to Acadia
Road hall by means of the- tape system. The alarm can be sent through
the electric transmitter and the engines out ready for action ln the
space of a few seconds.
For   six   or   seven   years   the   Fire
Department   has   made   a   point   of
employing students on holiday relief
which now amounts to three months.
Mark  Collins, who was at that time
president   of   the   Students'   Council,
was the flrst to be so engaged. Last
year Bob Smith held the Job. < Of the
services   rendered   by   the   students
the Chief has only the highest praise.
In the force, Indeed, the students
have   some   of   their   most   ardent
supporters.    The    men,    when    off
duty are faithful attonders at the
football games and are keen rooters for all  sports.  In  return they
have   received   hearty   oo-operatlon
from   the   atudenta.   Only   at   odd
times   during   the   exuberance   of
freshjman Initiation has the equipment been Interfered with In any
way whatsoever.
OOOD   HOUSEKEEPERS
The life of a Areman la not oil
beer and skittles. The men have the
same hours as the Vancouver Department, 10 hours day and 14 hours
night duty. They keep the hall in
shipshape order and any meticulous
housewife would be hard put to lt
to And a spot of dust on the beloved
engine or a mark on the polished
windows. A fireman should make a
good husband to any woman.
A little excitement such as monkey
chasing enlivens the life once ln a
while. The science monkeys (not the
science men) have twice escaped,
and while the Arst two were caught
and returned the police had to shoot
the others. One, -which made the
stupendous Jump of 80 feet from the
top of the Selene Building into the
trees eventually got into the Power
House and kept things in an uproar
for two or three days.
PRESIDENT OF FIRECHIEFS
Chief Lister, who has held his
position since the organization of
the University Fire Department in
1928, is for his second year president
of   the   B.C,   Flrechlefs'   /.-   soclatlon.
BACH HEARD ON C.B.S.
SYMPHONIC PROGRAM
The Arst broadcast in a symphonic
series arranged by the Department
of University extension was hoard
Sunday afternoon at 6.00 over CBR.
The program was presented by Professor Ira Dilworth, Regional Director for C.B.C. and member of the
University English department.
FIRST PROGRAM
Johann Sebastlon Bach was the
composer represented on the Arst
program. Recordings from the Carnegie Library, supplemented by brief
Interpretive commentary, Illustrated
the range and beauty of this eighteenth-century master's work.
Program material Included choral singing, an orchestral concerto,
sonata   for   flute   and   piano,   and
Interesting adaptations by full orchestra    for   themes    written    for
solo voice and chorus.
Subsequent   programs   this   month
will present music by Gluck, Morart,
and   Beethoven.   The   series   ls   designed to follow the development of
musical   composition   from   Bach   to
the  present-day.
The programs originate ln the
U.B.C. studio, Installed last spring
In the Agriculture building.
Dr. H. D.Smith
Miracle Man
A modern miracle of science in
industry was related by Dr. H. D.
Smith, new U.B.C. professor of Physics, in an address to the Vancouver
Branch of the Institute of American Engineers at the Hotel Georgia
Monday  evening.
Dr. Smith la the brilliant young
scientist from the International Gar-
bo.Ice Limited in Ontario and from
the University of Toronto, who walked Into the Queenaton plant of the
Ontario Hydro-Electric and showed
engineers and fellow scientists how
to free a 40 ton broken generator
shaft from its position in a 240 ton
rotor where it -was "frosen" solid under a pressure of some 20,000,000
pounds.
It had been placed there, ln the
flrst place, by fitting the shaft Into
the rotor, which was actually smaller In bore than the shaft, by the
method of expansion under a temperature of some 800 degrees Fahrenheit.
TIME AND MONEY SAVED
The main Idea of this procedure
was that with cooling the outer rotor
casing would contract and attach
Armly to the rotor under high pressure, thus avoiding any other connecting links in the valuable steel.
In the aotual Job he circulated alcohol through the hollow core of the
shaft, slowly adding "dry-loe" to
bring the temperature down gradually to ensure proper contraction
without warping.
Within two houra" the broken shaft
slid free under its own -weight and
was rushed out for repairs, the sav.
ing in time and money being tremendous.
And they said it couldn't be done!
PARLIAMENTARIANS
HAVE BIG DEBATE
SCHEDULE AHEAD
From all indications the year 1939
will be one of the greatest the Parliamentary Forum has ever witnessed.
Starting off with a debate against
the University of California yesterday, the schedule includes the defence of the McOoun Cup, won last
year; a debating tour of the colleges
of California; engagements with the
University of Washington and Victoria College; and three appearances
in the Vancouver Debating League.
The flrst of the McOoun Cup battles will be waged in Winnipeg January 20 when Alex McDonald and
Harold Rome travel east to meet the
University  of  Manitoba   team  there.
A few hours later ln Vancouver
Morris Belkin and Struan Robertson
are scheduled to meet the representatives of the University of Alberta.
He also turns his talents into the
Aeld of amateur photography, and
has some pictures that would do
credit to a professional. Especially
good are the photographs he has
taken of various ships entering and
leaving  the  harbour.
Outdoor Club: please turn in
your Totem pictures.
Saturday is the deadline for
Totem pictures. Make your appointment today !
"Let me serve your car and your oar will serve you"
"Frank" Fioke
U.B.C. SERVICE STATION
24-Hour Emergency Service. Complete Repair Facilities.
SOUTH END OF McOILL ROAD PT. OREY S3
l>MMIIIIIIII,ll|H|IMMIIIIIIIMIIII(MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMIMIIIIIIMIIIIIIIIMIII|l,||H„IIIMIMIIIIIIIII(MlllltlllllUMIIIItllllllllltfMIII
UNIVERSITY BOOK STORE
Hrs.: 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.; Saturdays 9 a.m. to noon
LOOSE  LEAF NOTE BOOKS, EXERCISE  BOOKS AND
SCRIBBLERS
AT REDUCED PRICES
Graphic   Engineering   Paper,   Biology   Paper, XMAS CARDS
Loose Leaf  Refills,  Fountain  Pens  and  Ink NOW  ON
and Drawing Instruments. SALE
lilHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMIIIII l|llllllltllllimillllllllinillllllllllllllllllllllllllllll|llflllllllllllllllllllllllllllHIIIIIIII|lllll Illll?
TOTEM
DEADLINE
SATURDAY
Amazing results have arisen from
the latest campaign to be Instituted
by the Totem staff, a final drive to
Incite slothful students to having
their pictures taken.
Without a note of sarcasm the
editor of the Totem Informed the
Ubyssey that "Out of approximately
200 studenta who have been telephoned ln the past three days, exactly fifteen have kep their devout
promise to be photographed before
Tuesday I"
ENGINEERS LAOOINO.
According to statistics released by
the Totem editor Sclencemen are
lagging far behind the Artsmen, in
spite of the fact that the hardy engineers promised faithfully to support the proposal of the Totem staff
to have a special Science section ln
this year's book.
Selenee '40, '41, and '43 are particularly requested to transport
themselves over to the Gymnasium
today and tomorrow after having
made an appointment in the Pub
office.
OH WHERE?
When asked about the Arts Faculty
the Totem staff merely threw their
hands into the air and shrieked
"Where are the Juniors? Are there
any on the Oampus?" But the Seniors are doing splendidly—comparatively speaking! There are, apparently, only about fifty more to photograph.
And so the deadline draws nearer. January ISth fs the final day.
Your photograph must have been
taken by that date or your face
does not appear In the 1039 edition
HERE 'N THERE
(Continued from Page 1)
Varsity has wired us "Editorial Ideas
not much ln favor of N.S., but hate
to smack anything which has so
many good qualities." He further
Bays "Editors responsible for our
campus response."
In such a matter of high Importance  to  the  country  at large  no
doubt the opinion of such an editorial board as that of the Varsity
Is of  some  significance.    Yet, we
hope tbat this attitude at Toronto
Is only  due  to   Toronto's natural
conservatism over suoh an Important Issue, since, aa yet, there has
not been a,very strong Indication
from other parts of Canada as to
what   course   the   campaign   will
take, and as to whether It will be
waged In a responsible and organised fashion.
We are becoming more and more
convinced that the campaign will be
an effective one if full support can
be obtained and  the matter carried
through to ita natural objective that
of pressure on individual membera of
parliament to give organised support
in the. House of Commons in Maroh.
And it must be recognised that suoh
a campaign  cannot be successful if
some  forces  fail  to lend  support to
the matter,  which  ls fundamentally
necessary,  and  a  logical   procedure,
that of national development of the
nations most valuable resources, the
brains of youth.
of the Annual of the University of
British Columbia.
Notice ls hereby given that if, and
only If, enough students come to the
Pub office ln the Auditorium Building today (Tuesday) to make appointments Artona Studio will stay
on the Oampus ln the Gymnasium
for all Wednesday.
Order your Totem today!
The University
of British
Columbia
Last day for payment of Second
Term Fees is
January 16th, 1939
AH cheques must be certified and
made payable to The University of
British Columbia.
Mailing: certified cheques to the
Bursar is recommended.
For regulations governing Fees
—see pages 34 - 38 inclusive.
BURSAR,
THE UNIVERSITY
OF  BRITISH  COLUMBIA Tuesday, January  10, 1939
THE    UBYSSEY
Three
LITANY CORONER
MU S I 0 A D
Abandon, Divine Muse, Olympus Height,
Aud info mind of mortal enter Thou;
Inspire humble quill to mightier task
Than mortal frame can with success attain.
For I would sing of battle and of strife,
Of weapons and of honor is my song.
ii «• ii-
Sweet Eden's arbors had not long been made
Ere devil entered in in serpent's coils;
And sweetness turned to dirge, and joy to sighs,
Pleasure to toil, and innocence to shame.
So U.B.C. was hardly given birth,
When up from rabble ranks of students hold
A so-called Thespian body did arise,
A so-called Players' Club came into life.
Resting on laurels won in other years,
They boasted age, and of attainments passed;
Pointed with pride to ages now long dead,
And undisputed sway of Cant pus held.
Oh sad and sorry hour for us all!
Oh day of grief and pain beyond compare!
What sin unpardonable was commit
To -merit such a sorry, sorry, fate?
Our Alma Mater, with parental love
Did harbour this black adder in her breast;
Even as eager Troy did ope her gates
To welcome in the horse of pine and fir
Filled with betrayers' and their arms of brass.
* * *'
But lot In humble guise and harmony,
The sweet-tongued sons of Orpheus organize;
Spring front the loins of that inspired soul
Whose lyre did strains of sweetest music give.
T'was he who sang in sweet-voiced melody,
Driving the much-praised Sirens to their doom
Even as they before with golden voice,
Had coaxed many sailors to the reefs
Whose rocky teeth had torn their ships apart.
As Orpheus thus with sweeter harmonies
Did domn the Sirens, ending their woeful game,
So Orpheus' chosen men and chosen maids
Have now determined Thespian hordes to stent,
And put in second place the Green Room group
In second place where rightly they belong,
As e'en "The Blind" of Maeterllnk could see.
To this inspired and god-giv'n goal,
A challenge has been writ and duly sent.
And Francus Paccus, he of Orpheus born,
Has sworn a mightier, mightier, oath by far
Than that Lars Porsena swore for Tarquin's house,
That Billions, son of Nicker, Nicker's son,
President of vice, elect of Thespian ranks,
Shall eat his very words, foul though tbey be.
The muddy turbid Tiber ne'er o'erflows
With half the force, with half the strength of flow
than that with which the team of Orpheus
Shall bury deep and drown the Thespians.
* * »
The Gods keep vigil through the passing hours,
And Time advances with a steady stride;
Bringing apace the hour and the day
When right shall be avenged and wrong be damned.
Back Muse; Olympus waits for your return;
My song is sung.
AT   THE   EXHIBIT
Silently she sat
And poured her soul
In literary orgies
Unto the canvas
Raptly she gazed
In artificial pose
As If she were
Some sylvan goddess
Transported in a trance
Of Italicized art.
•      •      »
JOURNALIST
The clacking of the Underwood
The ticking of the Royal
A slide and Jingle of a bell
Is music to my soul.
The push of keys
Beneath my Angers,
The creamy sheet before my eyes
Is bread unto my soul.
WHAT IS LOVE?
LOVE IS AN ILLUSION OF THE
MIND THAT MAKES A CHARMING COED BELIEVE THE IMPOSSIBLE OF HER IMPROBABLE
HERO.
OEMS?!?!?!?!?!! —
(Here are some gems of author
or   authors    unknown    that    were
found  on   the   typewriter  at  8.30
a.m. Monday morning.)
LOVE IS LIKE A MUTTON CHOP
SOMETIMES   COLD   SOMETIMES
HOT
LOVE   IS   HEAVENLY   LOVE    IS
STRONG
SO IS MUTTON WHEN KEPT TOO
LONO.
• •      •
WHY IS LOVE?
IT IS TO FURTHER THE ILLUSION THAT THE COED HAS:
coed sllchter ls one of the above
mentioned poor mugs. I wouldn't be
ashamed of it if 1 were you . . .
dear ...
• •      •
(This makes Just as much sense
as any heroic epic wo ever read.
And we found It on the floor.)
daisy, daisy, -woo -woo
ngyah  fooey blooey poo
NOTICES
On  Thursday,  at  12.40  a  recorded
performance     of     Richard    Strauss'
"Death  and Transfiguration" will  be
given  ln Arts  100.
OET VALUE
IN PRINTING
for the activities
of your—
SORORITIES
FRATERNITIES
SOOIAL
and
OLUB  FUNCTIONS
THE
CLARKE & STUART
OO. LIMITED
Stationers and Printers
550  SEYMOUR  STREET
VANCOUVER, B.C.
POEMS AND STUFF
By LEWIS ROBINSON
But a woman's face
Is one to change
And shift and alter
And rearrange
With rouge and cream
And tints and lotions
Applied with many
Acts and motions.
For  thus they  make each alteration
Fit a particular situation.
The ladles' face, yes everywhere,
Needs constant renewal and repair.
Aw. girls, we say lt Just ln fun,
A woman's face is never done.
* *      *
I wish I were a kangaroo.
Despite his funny stances—
I'd have a place to put the things
My girl-friend brings to dances.
* *      *
The value of a college education
la not so muoh the book knowledge
you get; not so much the athletics;
not so much the—not so much-
well, not so muoh.
200 University Students
Worked During Holidays
By BILL BACKMAN
At the close of the fall term examinations, some of the students returned to their homes ln far distant
places—some to the Prairies—some to
the Interior—some to Isolated spots
on the Island—some to the States—
others up coast.
The remaining students stayed ln
Vancouver either to take a well
needed mental rest; or to earn a few
dollars partly to help defray the increased expenses of the festive season
and partly to help pay the spring
sessional fees.
A small percentage of these were
forced to work to obtain their living expenses thus continuing their
part time Jobs of the fall term.
TWO HUNDRED EMPLOYED.
It ls estimated that about two
hundred students procured remunerative employment ln downtown business concern's. Among these were Joe
Rita, Jim McOay, Noel Harris, Molly
Hay, Ruth Millar, Mae McQueen,
Pauline Scott, Joan Haslam, Howie
Oarmlchael, Bill Oardlner and Thelma Nelson.
Continuing their usual practice the
B. O. E. R. absorbed during the annual Christmas rush those students
who worked part time in the fall
term. These worked either as bus
drivers or as street car conductors.
Some were Kyle Berry, Mickey Jones,
Oav Mouat, Stan Bailey.
POST  OFFICE  EMPLOYEES.
Bob Kincade and Oeorge Lane assisted at the Vanoouver Post Office
during the 'swamp' week of December 17-24 when millions of pieces
were handled.
Campus   correspondents   of   the
Vancouver 'Sun' and 'News Herald'
gained more Journalistic experience
in    covering    special    assignments
throughout the holidays.
Van Perry spent New Year's eve in
the Holy Rosary Cathedral gathering
material for a feature. James MacFarlane contributed several Items to
the  News   Herald.   Another student
wrote  up   weddings   for    the social
pages of a suburban weekly.
MINES AND MILLS.
Harvey Rees and Jack Stafford
went to Britannia Mines for their
holidays. There, Rees spent his time
working as pipe fitter and mechanic
In' the 'mill'; and Stafford as assistant bookkeeper.
Ex-logger Phil Vlckery who spent
the last three years In various coast
logging vamps could not resist the
tempting    oall   of    the    'bush'.    He
spent   part   of   his   time   'topping;'
trees  at  Port  Moody;   rest  rigging
at the Ski Village.
Terry Lord is reported to have occupied his time pulling stumps and
clearing land  ln the  unsettled spots
on   the  outskirts  of  Vancouver.  Osborne Durkin, Varsity Time maestro,
played in a local orchestra for New
Year's Eve.
STORES AND SNAPS.
Rude awakenings came to some of
the homesick interior students who
believed that their working days were
over. Amy Hackney. Janet Walker
and Bob Morris had their vacation
working ln their parent's stores.
Ted Underhiil worked up a brisk
trade ln photos and snaps over the
season.
Happy New Year and Mary Christmas for the year 1930.
ENGINEERS VISIT
VANCOUVER IRON
WORKS NEXT SAT.
Members of the Engineering Institute of Canada have been invited to
visit  the  Vancouver  Iron  Works  on
Saturday, January 14, about 10 a.m.
The purpose of this visit will be
to  Inspect  the fabrication  of  the
48-Inch    electrically    welded    steel
pipe  being  manufactured   for  the
Greater Vanoouver Water District.
Afterwards   those   interested   will
proceed to the  Kitsilano Indian  Reserve where a section of the 48-inch
concrete   pipe   forming   part   of   the
submerged   portion   of  the  Capllano
Main is being assembled.
IJIMHIIMIHHIHIIIMIIIIHIMMttimiltMtlMMHtlHI'HMHmiMH*,'
H.  JESSIE  HOW, B.A.
Publio Stenographer
4461 West lotto Avs.
assays sal Theses TypsS
tmMmiMH*HHHtM**'H*mmH*H*m"H,"M""*,>"","M""
BE COLLEGIATE—Smoke a Pipe . . .
Peterson's Reg. $2.00—SPECIAL $1.79
WORLD WIDE NEWS
Across from the Commodore
SPRING PLAY
PROBLEM NOT
SOLVED  YET
The show must go on!
Frantic Thespians have postponed
their announcement of the Spring
Play Indefinitely. Within a few hours
however they expect the verdict in a
telegram from New York.
NO DIDACTICS
Mystery shrouds the selection, but
lt ls known that the choice lies between three modern comedies all
with the Noel Coward atmosphere,
and all concerning bright happy
things.
"No didactics" Is the Players'
Club watchword this year, and the
result Is expected to be something
light, Irresponsible, witty, good
entertainment for the Tired Business Man.
Professor Oage has nothing to say.
President Anne Carter has nothing
to say.
For once the Thespians have nothing to say. But when the dramatlo
cable arrives, the University will
know what will be on the boards
next March.
CAREFUL SELECTION
The Executive refuse Information
also, but lt Is known that this year's
choice has had more thought given
to lt than any previous year's Consideration must be given to numbers
of actors, wardrobe, scenery limitations, possible censorship, and tour
restrictions. Various acting rights
must be obtained, actual cash outlay
considered, and finally the type of
play Itself determined.
The final choice will be made between two smart English comedies
and one recent hit of the Broadway
stage. The titles cannot be released
for publication at present.
POLICY CHANOE
However a sharp change In Players'  Club  policy  Is  Indicated.  For
five years In a row tbe Spring Flay
has been serious drama, with any
suggeetlon of fluffinesa subordinated. Now the trend Is to be In the
direction of clever modern comedy
with perhaps a little more than the
average bit of meat In It.
Moderns only have been considered,
actors will, be sophisticated smoothies
ln    Impeccable    clothing,    and    the
"props"  will  revolve  around  cocktail
tables and chandeliers. That ls to be
the style.
When the students see this year's
play they will get entertainment,
pure and simple. Well, simple, anyway.
Spring Social Calendar
Jan. 18—Hl-JInks.
Jan. 17—B.C.T.F. Danoe.
Jan. 19—Nurses' Ball.
Jan. 86—Arts '40 Class Party—
Junior  Prom.
Feb. 8—Newman Club Party.
Feb. 9—Arts '48 Class Party.
Feb. 16— Science Ball.
Feb. 88-8S—Musleal Sooiety
Presentations.
Mar. 2—Co-ed Ball.
Mar. 8—Arts '41 Class Party.
Mar. 15-18—Spring Plays.
April 88—Brock Memorial Ball.
887
Oranvllle
NOTICE
WANTED: Person with car for
car-chain. (Take car one day a week
and transportation supplied for rest.)
Around Oranville from 35th to 41st.
Phone J. McArthur, Kerr. 246-R.
A Meeting and Debate will be held
on Thursday at 12.30 ln Arts 104 by
the 'Women's Public Speaking Club.
The subject of the debate will be
"Resolved that the Oovernment
should have control of public utilities."
Totem  Staff Meeting
12.30 today.
in  Arts  108,
l*HIII|HlltMHttMMMMlHMIIIHIIMMIMMMtHHHIMimHIIIIIII
VARSITY SERVICE
STATION
"AT  THE   GATES"
"OUR   SERVICE   MEANS
HAPPY MOTORING"
l*«lltlHIIHIHMIIIIMIIIttlllHMMHimillHIHtHMHItllHI*Hltt*t
The   Hotel   Vancouver
presents
MART KENNY
nt   the  Spanish   Grill
CHANG SUEY
AND
THE CASE OF THE
Copped Cornerstone
(What has gone beforet We're willing
to forget lt if you are.)
CHAPTER  TEN
C. S. RIDES AGAIN
A long, sleek automobile sniffed up
to the huge crowd assembled on the
site of the Union Building, and a
wild cheer rent the air (for only one
holler (one holler), you, too, can rent
the air, and get a new lease on lile
at the same time.
WELCOME   STRANGERt
Also, the rubber bands keep out the
BAOS AND  HEDGEQUICK
termites. (Why not phone your plumber today?) as a plump figure .dressed in top hat and tails, blurted out of
the car, and trundled over to the spot
marked for the laying of the cornerstone. Festive banners were flying on
the scaffolding, bearing cheering messages, such as:
"LET'S ALL GET BEHIND CARSIZE
MoMIRE, THERE'S ROOM ENOUGH
FOR EVERYBODY!"
The weighty personage was warmly weloomed by  the committee, and
especially   by   Mr.   Hedgequlck,   who
was still pervaded by holiday spirits.
In faot, the Georgia Glantkiller
had   taken  a  short  recess  from  a
New Year's  Eve  party  Just  to  be
present and was still dressed In bis
fancy  costume  of  colorful   Jockey
silks. But he was carrying his own
White Horses.
The portly gentleman, Mr. V.
Burlington Bags by name, took his
place on the platform with an educated, rotary motion of his well-
cargoed stern that forced the Department of Mathematics over the
edge, hoisted his vested Interests up
to a comfortable altitude on the middle rail, and opened his face Just below the nose.
MIFRANZ.
One hour later, people were demanding to know who had flrst suggested pricking the gas-bag.
". . . and now, ladiea and gentlemen,  I  come  to  the  ceremony  of
laying the cornerstone."
"We don't  think  you can  do It!"
somebody yelled.
"A   toastt    A    toast I"   cried   Mr.
Hedgequlck,   peer'ng   around   for   a
waiter.
SMELLING SALTS.
"We have here," continued Bags
calmly, "one of your best-known sclencemen, Mr. Oberon (H2S) Stenoh.
Mr. Stench has been unanimously
chosen to be placed Inside the cornerstone, which will be opened not
sooner than 9391 A.D.
Mr,  Stenoh was originally designated    for    Sclenoe   '13,    but   bas
bumped   that   year  for   a   brilliant
record of 30 consecutive times!
Oberon has remained a very modest chap, despite his glorious achievement. He is also one of the few sciencemen   who   have   worn   out   the
backs  of  their  lab  coats   before  the
fornts,   from   rubbing   out   the   year
numbers.
Drag him   over   here,   boys, and
take that musale off his face. Now,
Mr. Stench, what have you to say
about your wonderful incarceration?"
"If  only  I  could  have  understood
the  Bunsen Burner!" moaned Oberon.
THE   LAVENDER   LADY.
Oberon   was   immediately   hoisted
Into   the   cornerstone    and    vacuum
packed with "Gone With The Wind",
a flashlight, and a set of golf clubs.
"A   toast!     A   toast!"    cried   Mr.
Hedgequlck,  who  had  let  his  hair
down, and was amusing the crowd
with an Impersonation of Hedy La-
Marr.
But    they    had   scarcely   finished
canning   Oberon   when   a   messenger
galloped up covered with sweat foam
to yell:
HAZARDS
"A man Identified as Burlington
Bags has been discovered - burled up
to his third chin ln a sand-trap on
the golf course! A bowl of ballots had
been set before his eyes, and he's
gone raving mad I"
"Then who is this man?" orled
Carslse McMlre, whirling around
on his well-covered axis to point a
chubby thumb at the platform.
But  the  first Bags had  vanished,
and what was more terrible, the cornerstone had disappeared with him,
Stench and all!"
ABRA CADABRA.
"The cornerstone's gone I" screamed Carslse. "Everyone must bo
searched I"
Three   Freshmen  were  killed  in
tbe rush of volunteer searchers.
"The women  will be searched  by
women!" added Carslse.
Three more Freshmen were killed
ln the rush back of ex-volunteer
searchers.
IN FULL FRAY.
Seeing about a dosen sophomores
bearing down on him from the southeast, Mr. Hedgequlck whipped out a
pair of huge padlocks whioh ho
swiftly snapped on to his hip pockets,
and followed them up with three collapsible trench mortars, whloh he set
up ln a row.
The sophs retreated.
Tbe Dirty Nine was aghast. Carslse was especially aghast. It was
as If he had seen all his baby bonds
suddenly aged into hoary, old debentures. He looked like an elephant that had Just swallowed a
peanut the wrong way down. He
was aghast.
Mannie (the Mauler) Rathlson was
distractedly tossing Freshmen through
a loop ln the cording of the scaffolding.
GOOSE  FLESH.
"What's the score, now?" asked tho
Mauler unhappily.
Suddenly, a wing-Jing flashed
through the air to quiver Into the
platform.
"Chang Suey I" cried Carslse. "Bags
was Suey in disguise, and he snitched
our cornerstone! The Dirty Nine will
get him if it's the last thing I do!"
A horrible laugh rang out across
the campus.
Will Carslse get baok the thing?
Will Oberon be sprung before 9391?
Will Mr. Hedgequlck go back to the
New Year's Party?
Tehl   Teh!   Such  waste!
* * * -r.
Fraternity and Sorority
Printing- and Engraving
Our Speoialty
DANCE   PROGRAMMES
INVITATIONS,   'AT   HOMES,'
LETTERHEADS   and
CHRISTMAS CARDS
GEHRKE'S
586  Seymour  St,
75o and
$1.00
"AS NEAR AS YOUR PHONE"
caii...        SEYMOUR 2405
Free Delivery Anywhere ln City Limits
RITCHIE'S   .   .  .   840 ORANVILLE
HOTEL
COFFEE SHOP      C
and
DINING ROOM
Fountain for
After Theatre
ii.ll11t*«l_rWKll;
!inu--i!DlTa{m
GEORGIA
LUNCHEONS
DINNERS
TEAS
DANCES...
formal or informal.
SEY.  5743 INTRAMURAL   PLANS   COMPLETE FOR   YEAR
IOE HOOKEY
FRIDAY NIOHT—FORUM
VARSITY vs. AIR FORCE
Intramural Schedule—Basketball
Wed. 11—Anglioan vs. Aggies.
—Arts '41 vs. Arts '40
Fri. 13—So.  '41 vs. So.  '42
—Arts '30 vs. So. '40
Four
THE    UBYSSEY
Tuesday, January  10,  1939
VARSITY BEATS CUBS
PLAY AIRMEN FRIDAY
INTER-CLASS
COMPETITION
WEDNESDAY
MANY EVENTS
FEATURED
basketball, the sport
goes over wtth many
reverberations on the
events la the flrst pas-
featured by Maestro
Wednesday (tomorrow
Aggies and the Angll-
off In a basket-potting
to   officially   open   the
The biggest season in the history of intra-murals is all set to
unfold before the eyes of the
somewhat apathetic athletic adherents out here on our evergreen campus this spring, with
everything from ping-pong to
swimming on the schedule drawn
up by Athletic Director Maury
van vliet.
Inter-class
that alwaya
far-reaching
program of
time to be
Maury. Next
that is) the
cans square
competition
spring term.
KINO COUDT
Then on Friday 18th (lucky lucky
me), a smashing double header sees
8c. '41 hook up with So. '43 while
Sc. '40 and Arts '89 tangle in what
promises to be the biggest basketball brawl since ol King Cole heaved
the flrst casaba away back when.
A complete schedule of future
basketball games may be found on
the gym notice board and lt ls Intimated by the chief of the proceedings that the winner of the basketball ts ln a darn fine position to cop
the governor's trophy for intermural
supremacy for the current year.
ONE FOR YOU
An absolute superfluity of events
follows hard on the heels of the basketball schedule. The postponed Mall
Race will probably be run within a
week if Mister Jupe Pluvlus does a
bit of baokcheoking.
Other track events will Include the
annual Arts '20 and the Arts '80
races whioh are long-time claasios.
An inter-class track meet olimaxea
the year for the clnderpounders late
In the spring.
RUOOAH, TOO
Rugger competition gets under
way in about three weeks for the
new trophy that has been donated
ot the cause, and for the flrst time
in history the handling code will be
featured among the classes.
Other events to be on the schedule
will be swimming, Canadian rugby
throw for dlstanoe, horse shoes, plng-
pang, foul-shooting ln baaketball and
a  tug-o'-war contest.
See   your   clasa   rep.   to   Join   ln
the fun.
CANADIAN   RUOBY   STRIP
IMPORTANT  NOTICE
All Canadian Rugby strip must
be In by Friday 18. Refusal or
omission to fulfll this will bring on
aotlon of the discipline committee.
Strip  room  open  from  12:45  to
1:80 every day this week starting
Wednesday.
By order,  Harvey Carruthers.
HOCKEY   TICKETS
Reserve seats to the big game between the Varsity Icemen and the
Alrforce next Friday night In the
Forum may be obtained by presenting student passes at the box office
in the quad next Thursday and Friday at noon. Come on out and give
the  boys a boost!
Men's  Half  Soles
Men's   Rubber   Heels
Men's Leather Heels
Ladles'  Top  Lifts
Ladies'  Rubber   Heels
65c
30c
40c
20c
8-C
Full   Soles,  Rubber  Heels
and Shine $1.75
Shoes  Dyed   Black 40c
Work  Done   While  You  Walt
HATS CLEANED Sc BLOCKED
— Expert  Work  —
Free   Pick-up   and  Delivery
Empire   Shoe   Rebuilders
713  Oranville Trinity 473.1
Hockeyists Featured In
Big Booster Night Friday
By JIM HARMER
The high flying career of the New Westminster Hockey Club
was cut short last Friday when Varsity's valiont band of puck-
chasers knocked over the once invincible Cubs by a 4-3 count.
The  Thunderbirds  sailed into the
boys from over Kingsway with  the
opening whistle and built up a commanding 8-1 lead by the end of the
flrst period. The Oulguet brothers
Charlie and Marcel, combined on two
separate occasions to dent the twine
behind an astounded Westminster
goalkeeper.
SCORE!   SCORE!
Ormle Dier drilled the other counter after a nloe passing play hooking
up the "scribbling streak" with
Maurice Lambert garnering the assist. Westminster rallied at this
stage to register a counter against
star goalie, Ed. Benson.
The second period saw the student
stick-Jumpers continue their attacking metods and after prolonged onslought Varsity's high scoring
defenceman, Jaok Moxon, slipped the
disc past Tyrral on a pass from centre Jim Harmer.
One of the highlights of the game
occurred when Dier staged a one-
man attaok on the whole opposition.
Before long both teama were Involved In a general melee. When the
smoke cleared Dier and Wilkes were
sent to the cooler for a Ave minute
"rest."
BENSON TERRIFIC
A desperate last minute period
offensive by the Cubs netted them
two goals but the steady Varsity defense of Moxon, Frovenaano, and
Lambert blanketed most of the opposition efforts. Goalie Benson came
through in the pinches with some
miraculous saves which had the
goodly crowd of Varsity rooters on
their toes most of the game.
FLYERS NEXT
Next Friday the students take on
the strong Air Force squad, in what
promises to be one of the most ruggedly interesting battles of the season. League officials have announced a "student night" for this orucial
enoounter. Passes will be issued at
the campus box offlce, Thursday and
Friday.
The evening will be enlivened by
the 1080 debut of the Varsity Band
under the direction of Arthur Delamont.
itlllllttmilMIIIIIIIIIIIIHHHIimiHIIHIII HtlllHMItllllHMI
CO-ED SPORTS
By MYRNE NEVISON
illltlllllllllllHIIHIIIItlllllllllltlllllltlMllllMttHHIIMHHIIMMII
We give you—Peggy MacLeod.
Peggy Is another member of ye
famed (?) Big Block Club for winning the university championship
while a green Freshette. Is now
president of the Woman's Athletic
Association and spending all her
spare time devising a Women's
Sports Directory to take over the
management ot their sports next
year.
We give you—Betty Mulr. Betty ls
a Sophomore Big Blocker recently
returned from California where she
travelled with the "Touring Canucks"—a Vancouver team which participated in a recent hockey tournament in San Francisco. Betty ls now
dropping hockey due to a lack of
time  for sports.
We give you—Adrlenne Collins.
Adie ts our cute little five-foot-two
basketballer playing her aecond year
ln Senior A oompany and already a
Big Blocker. Faithful and prominent
In  practices and  Intramurals.
We give you—Alice KJos. Former
star of Province and Spencer's basketball teams and now a big help ln
our Arst string forward line. With
a grand record to her credit, we expect a lot from her in the race(?)
for  league  honours.
.•lllltlHIMMIIMHIMHHIHIIttllHIMHIMIHHHIHMIIItlllllMlllt..
| Just   about   all   you   could   ask
i for    .    .    .
I ARISTOCRATIC
I HAMBURGERS
| Limited
I 10th and Alma
| TAKE    SOME    HOME
iMMIMIIMMIMMIMIMIMIMHIHMIIMItMMIMMIIMIMHMIIMH
THEWINNAH!
1PPF
Here he la again folks, none other
than our old friend Jim Harmer
who happens to be smiling this
time at the amasing upset viotory of
the Thunderbirds of the lee rink
over the league leading Westminster Cubs last week at the Forum.
Watch him next Friday at the Forum in action against the Air Force.
offside
—orme dier
BOOQY MAN
Just about this pleasant time of
the year a certain gentleman over
in the administration building as-
umes the role of the Fate and keeps
the coaches of all the major sports
on our fair campus ln palsied fear
for the eligibility of their charges to
engage in the athletic endeavours for
the remainder of the term.
Now personally, we have nothing
against our good friend the registrar. For all we know he might be
a nice fellow ln his own home. However, he does seem to act a bit obnoxious when he holds the athletic
life of one of our sporting heroes between the devil and a B.A.O,
The point is, gentle reader, that we
don't think anyone should be
bounced or declared ineligible on the
results of Christmas marks.
REVOLOOSHUN!
No doubt our pet theory may sound
a bit radical to many of the more
enlightened (if such there be) of our
students, and no doubt most of the
profs, are getting hot under the collar at the mere mention of such a
proposal. But there are many arguments in favor of it, and we think
that it still is not cricket to give the
gate to a man who does not happen
to hit the ball in his Xmas Xams.
Because, if a Joe Oollege ls so interested in athletics and suoh to
neglect his schoolwork, the final result of his year's work is the only
fair means of judging his ability and
interest. If he is silly enough to
waste more of his time and his parents' money after flopping at half
term, he should be allowed to fritter
away the rest of the year at least,
If for no other reason than to give
a good basis for refusing him entrance the next year.
And then too, maybe the poor guy
juat had a bit of tough luck, and
maybe he should be given a chance
to make up for It ln the spring term.
We could really go on for hours, but
lt seems that this ls the bottom of
the page.
BLUE • GOLD
BASKETEERS
VS WESTERNS
RETURNED VETERANS
PLAY WED.
By OKMY HALL
Maury Van Vllet was groping In
his seemingly bottomless magical grab
bag today to try and find the solution
to the very acute situation of the
Varsity Basketball quintette.
Ravaged by those perennial old
devils, the Xmas exams, the Thunderbirds have been robbed of three of
their better players and Mr. Van
Vllet ls at a loss Just how to make
up the deficit that Is liable to oost
the Blue and Oold hoopers a spot In
the lnter-clty basketball playoffs.
Time is short too, my friends, and
another of the wiry red-head's miracles will have to happen pronto.
NO NEWCOMERS.
Direct from the head sport director's office oomes word that one solution to the question will not appear
ln the form of bringing up Senior B
or intermediate players. There Just
seems to be a shortage of players of
the Brud Matheson, Ted PaUas and
Doug Gross calibre.
However, the hoop maestro has an
Idea that may turn the trick. He has
decided to switch the positions of the
starting regulars and ln that way
hopes to And a new scoring punch.
TURNER GUARDS.
Most significant of the ex-Oregon-
ian's moves will be to shift Captain
Rann Matthison from running guard
to right forward. This move will displace Frankie Turner who slips back
Into Rann's old spot along side Byron
Straight at guard.
Maury also plans to make use of
both his tallest men at the same time
by changing Rookie Don Livingstone
from centre to left forward and putting Alec Lucas ln to Jump. Heretofore both men had played centre necessitating one of them to be warming the bench while the other worked. This new arrangement will give
Maury a chance to play both of them
on the same string giving the Varsity
club the height lt so badlys needs. By
Straight will continue to hold down
the guard spot, his natural position
as his play this year wlU indicate.
The replacements with the exception of the suspended trio will be
Identical to the pre-Xmas team.
Doug Alexander, Wally Johnson and
Dick Miller are the boys who will
wear out their pants on the bench
when the play gets tough.
Whsn you've ynUo*scL
^LUH^CH
s&ss?
SfeMfiMita
THI BUT CHOCOLATE
e.»7T
*•***.*** of-****** ^*^aw^*%**%*9
Soccermen Invade Valley
For Midweek Soccer Tilt
RAIN BREAK
FOR INJURED
RUGGER MEN
English Rugby as a whole suffered
what might be termed as a temporary submersion on Saturday as old
man Pluvlus held sway and prevented the "ruggahs" from staging their
Stadium epic, Varsity and Meralomas.
The U.B.O. boys also had their
game with the Rowing Olub postponed and as a result both these
contests will probably be staged later
in the season, possibly next week.
The postponement was in the nature of a break for the Careymen as
their star hooker, Vic Moore, ran his
string of bad luck even further Friday, by presenting himself with one
arm in a sling on account of a shoulder injury sustained in practice. It ls
not yet certain whether Moore will
have    recovered    sufficiently   to  play
By BASIL. ROBINSON
Charlie Hltchens and his surprising
soccerites, accompanied by their energetic manager Dick Clarke and a
goodly quantity of supporters, leave
the campus tomorrow noon for Chllllwaek and way points on their first
New Year road trip.
Celebrations of a stupendous nature are ln store for the Blue and
Oold  roundballers,  according  to  a
letter   reoeived   from   a   Chllllwaek
soccer   offlolal.   On   arrival   In   the
Valley town, they will have a hotel
room at their disposal until game
time, whloh is set for 3.30.
The referee, Mr,  Les Eyres, is M.
L. A. for the district and a former
soccer  star.   Tentative   plans   for  a
continuation of the celebrations following the game are being discussed
and indications are that the boys are
going to have a high old time.
According to Manager Clark, a full
Varsity representation will be making the trip. All injuries are healed
and the Valley boys are sure to have
a battle on their hands.
SEATTLE   NEXT.
No sooner will the Hitchensmen
have returned from this jaunt then
they will be getting ready to visit
Seattle for a regular league encounter with the V. and D. Sound City
team. "Join the socoer club and see
the world," scream the soccerites,
who, not content with visiting the
Fraser Valley and the United States
are hoping to do 4thetr bit towards
taking the Capital City by storm
when the University goes high, wide
and handsome for the Victoria invasion.
The first setback of the New Year
was handed the boys Saturday at
Kerrisdale Park when they went
down underrieath about four full-
fledged waterfalls, A river, and a
Kerrisdale onslaught which netted
four goals, two ln each half.
TODD  SCORES.
In reply the Blue and Oold boys
were only able to float one counter
across the home team's goal line,
but it is reported they had easily
their share of the mldfleld splashing contest whloh was a feature
of what was billed as a soccer
game.
Doug Todd showed the mariner's
instinct to sploosh in the campua-
mens' tally in the first half. Outstanding ln the remaining part of the
afternoon's fun were Alan Croll, (yes,
he played his usual steady game on
defense), Fred Sasaki, Jack Rush,
who sustained a kicked knee ln an
underwater duel, and some freshwater algae which revelled In the
fun.
NOTICE
Members of Arts '40 interested in
Intra-mural activities please report
to Dier or Robinson In Pub. Basketballers take note.
Exclusive Camera PORTRAITS
At Popular Prices
this Saturday.
The postponed Varslty-U.B.O. clash
which was to have been played on
the Stadium tomorrow afternoon, will
not take place for at least another
week, it was announced yesterday as
it is almost Impossible to flt a game
in between 3.45 and the time darkness falls at this time of the year.
Totems
will be
printed
only for
those who
order now.
u.
LUNCH 25(
B.C. ROOST
SALISBURY LODGE ANNEX
35c
"Where The
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Gang Meets"
DINNER
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