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UBC Publications

The Ubyssey Mar 28, 1958

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Id
VOL. XL
VANCOUVER,  B.C.,  FRIDAY,   MARCH  28,   1956
No.   SJ
Do and Make Book
HOW TO DO AND MAKE THIS BOOK
This is how Jerry and Jane do and make:
Jane folds the paper so that she cannot see this type.
Jerry cuts the outside folded edges, and turns the book right
side up.
Jane looks at the funny picture.   She dees not cut the book's
folded back at the left of the front cover.
Jane is a good girl.   Spot says bow, wow.
Jane and Jerry read their book.
Cecil doesn't bother doing or making.    He peeks.
Cecil is a very bad boy, don't you think.
THE UBYSSEY
Ottawa.
Authorized as second class mail    Post Office Department,
MEMBERS CANADIAN UNIVERSITY PRESS
Student subscriptions $1.20 per year (included in AMS fees) Mail
subscriptions $2.00 per year. Single copies five cents. Published
in Vancouver throughout the University year by the Student
Publications Board of the Alma Mater Society, University of
British Columbia Editorial opinions expressed herein are those
of the editorial stal'f of the Ubyssey, and not necessarily those of
the Alma Mater Society or the University Letters to the Editor
should not be more than 150 words The Ubyssey reserves th*
right to cut letters, and cannot guarantee publication of all letters
received.
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF — PAT MARCHAK
Managing Editor: Dave Robertson News Editor: Barbara Bourne
Features Ed.: Sylvia Shorthouse Culture Ed.: Barrie Hale
Sports Editor: Al Springman Asst. News Ed.: Bob Johannei
CUP Editor: Laurie Parker Advi. Mgr.: Bill Miles
SENIOR  EDITORS:
Diana Smith, Mary Wilkins, Al Groves, Rupert Bucha.ian
CARTOONISTS:
Bob Prough, Bill Vercheres. Ben Gilmore. Jacquie Butt
STAFF   WRITERS:
Kerry  Feltham,   Neva  Bird,  Jim  Taylor,   Helen   Zukowski.   Kern
Lamb, Mike Matthews, Elaine Bissett, John  Cook,  Jos« Fulford.
Wayne Lamb, Peter Irvine.
A   Funny  Game
''Let's play a funny game/' said Jerry.
"Yes, yes/' said Jane.
"I have never seen a cow all blue and green/'
said Jerry.
" I have newer seen a pig with a purple nose/'
said Jane.
"I have never seen Santa Claus in church/'
said Jerry.
;'l  have never seen God  in Victoria/' said
Jane.
"The Hell you haven't/' said Jerry.
Will UBC Be Ready For Them? (aouajajjip Aub bsjbiu j(uom ;j tioijsanb
stq? J3MSUB oj asjq noA auti; aq; |jb aABq ubo noj^—'jj-K
^sadojaAua paij.ieuiun (ut^{d
auios Anq AjisjaAtun aq; js spuauj s(ueur aoiu aqj ?(uop Aq^
Nousanb
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sadopAua
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•sadojaAua paij.ieiuun 'uiejd ut umu Buopt^
aoiu aifl oj aid Jtaqi jo ;.ied u.m;aj Aaq; asneoaq si jsqx
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81
DO AND MAKE BOOK
By Prof. "Tad" and Never Sharp
To Accompany: Silent Listener Series.
THE BASIC READERS
For First Year University
L. R. PETERSOUT & CO. LIMITED
VICTORIA
TO  THE  TEACHER
This is a book.
We hope you will find it a
good book.
We hope it will make you
think.
That will be more than it did
for us.
SHI«T 1
The tests and c-vei'ythhv?
very straight-forward.
There is no need to c'heti
to buy College Outlines,
In    fact,   this    book    i <
s t ra i g h t f o r wa rd   I! i a i    t h e r->
hardly   any   need   tor   k\v>
explanations,
Just remember t'v..-:—A'.'.
have to do is give your ps.-
one copy ouch of the book
And   then   tell   t'.'.em   *■■[■
they can put it.
ire
or
so
is
thy
''HI
uls
TRAVEL HEADQUARTERS
UNIVERSITY BRANCH
Why go all oi' l'u» way to town to make ;\tuir
Travel  Arrangements?
OUR SERVICES ARE ENTIRELY FREE
We have been appointed by all of the Major Air Lines,
Steamship Lines, Bus Lines, and Tour Operators.
To Serve the University. Facully and Students.
Ii' you are going Home or goin  Abroad,  We can  Serve
You BETTER al our convenient  location.
You pay Onlv the Regular Fare.
TRAVEL HEADQUARTERS
Your Headquarters for Travel  Anywhere
4578 W.  10th Ave, Phone ALrrs 4511
DearDiaiy...
As I take my pen in hand, I take
my bottle of Coke in the other hand!
Yes, dear diary, where would I be
without Coca-Cola? Just a social outcast.
Why, cvcri/body drinks Coke! John
and Bill and Barry and Charley.
Horace too. Confidentially, I think I'll
have another bottle of Coke.
DRINK
rMg&
SIGN OF GOOD TASTE
■aw »Nn xncA-cni «• ark rfci- trf-d rwnrosMADKS    (torn inf-wiirv \w '.amis-
RLFRIiS.HIMG OEYLRABfc I MIS PRODUC 1 01  COCA-COLA I .t 0   HAVE- A Um-SAK   -HAVI  A COKE, jh£    , 01
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***** */.,*$ ■*.   m('
Made for
each other. . .
... Fashioned for
YOU!      jt^
Wonckrfu
BAN-LON Sweaters
full-fashioned
Yon, rn your larch/ Ban-Lon Kitten Sweater
nhouhl make campus histori/ this Spring , . .
'cause Kiltcn-l'lus-Ban-f'On is fashion >ieirs!
Full-fashioned . . . hond-jinislied ami dip-
vushuble . . . here's.a si>i>histiealeil conf-
■necked hcmit>j . . . just ( KX If of tliKcns of
locelii ncu- Kittens . . , d.ressinakers . . .
classics . , . spoits-ti/pcs! This Sprinfi
fabulous Kitten sireaters are caught in the
colourful spell of the Orient . . . see tfm
vicuiieal colours in good sliops erenjufierr,
ill*, to .JO,    1'fice tUK)
U-116
Look for the name Kitten
They're Ready For UBC
Cecil goes lo the university
He reads books.
So clo Jerry and Jane.
Cecil i.s smart.
So are .ferry and Jane.
Jerry  and  Jane  have  fun,
Almost   every   weekend.
So does Cecil.
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0?
The Biology Class
Jerry  and  Jane  are   in  Biology  class.
See  them stab  frogs.
They are learning about   frogs.
I should hope so, stabbing them like that.
Jane and Jerry aren't just learning about (rimm
No indeed.
They are learning about  life cycles and endocrine.-, and
reproduction.
You  know  what  that   means?
Hee,  bee!
Cecil goes  to  Biology   too.
Cecil is very interested tn lite
cycles and endoeriues and
reproduction.
You can just bet he 1-.
Cecil has a filthv nahvi.
Where All Studenls
Gather For
■A' Fine Foods
"& Fine Service
k  Mellow Whip Ice Cream
DEAN'S CAFE
4544 West 10th Avenue
29 It
it*.**
■-*!-*»■■
00   QNV XNIHX
•joii;ne janta o) s^ubav auef
•aajtN aSed
uo sjafnj /i\iip aq; 9|oj/w oum
Suisse  'isna]  B  sajijA\' au«f
paj aas} Jaq jojoq
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'XassA'qn; s.-raauiSua ub si }j
Xass^qQ ai|i Sutpeaa si auef
auef st siqx
#
f 100* per cent   —   a, b, e. d 97 per cent   —   e, see registrar
uoiuido on (j PHlP uia|qo.id ijiji (a
s].iy ojui >|.)uq jajsiiRjx (a      .latleds/wau umo uio jnj (q
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Noumos
A'l![C(Stp   pSIA   [[|A\   J9UO-Ut-.IOpra
NOIlVDIIdWOD
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oi a\oi[ .Hoqg  jqqnd puouoS oq) joj A'ejdstp e dn v?s o\ a.ie noj^
ajew pue oo
ST
TOTEM SHOES
SAHARA  BOOTS
OXFORDS
Opposite   Safeway   Parking
4550 W. 10th AL.2540
Double-Breasted Suits
inqle-Breastod Models
14* (.KAMUXl ex. MM
Custom Tailored Suits
for  Ladies  and  Gentlemen
Gowns and Hoods
Uniforms
Double breasted suits
morlernbefi in tl-m m'w
single breasted styles,
Motzond Wozny
SPECIAL   STUDENT   RATES
S48 Howe  St.       MArina 4715
Tins  space  is tor clroocsles
The English Class
Jerry and Jane are going to an English elass.
It makes theiti think.
It is the first time they will have to think.
The  teacher gives  the  class  an English  test.
It makes Jerry and Jane think.
Cecil doesn't like the test.
Can you do the English test?
AN EASTER STORY
At Easter time big bloated bunnies paint pretty Easter eggs
and  give   them   to  good   children.
All the children like Ihe Easter eggs because they weve so
pretty and they tasted so good.
"Let's give all the Easter eggs to the hens," said the biggest
Easter bunny.
"Ves,  yes,  yes,"  said  the  littler bunnies.
"i\'o,  non,  no," said one skinny bunny  .
The skinny bunny wanted to give more eggs to the paint
producers.
"Go  to  Hell," said  the  big bloated  bunnies.
"I was warned about you, said the biggest  bunny.
T.ie skinny bunny was ashamed.
#
A TEST
Answer the  following questions, They  make  you  think.
1. List  what  the littler bunnies said.
2. List  what the skinny bunny said.
3. List  the paint  producers.
4. Count,  the lice on the  biggest  bunny's  behind.
5. List the lessons you have learned from this story, >  ' i      i '    '       .
tl
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26
Atoll in the Mind
This is a poem. It is called
"Atoll in the Mind."
1 have an atoll
I   don't   know   atoll  what
it is.
Par! oi it is green
This   is   the   part   that   is
si-en.
The Lther part of the atoll
Is not atoll green,
It's  oil gt'ay,
Becimme  it's   not  seen.
This  is a  test.  Answer the
questions from memory.
Jerry  Takes
Philosophy
Jerry takes philosophy.
Jerry   doesn't   go  to   Sunday
School any more.
Jerry is glad.
Jerry's mother is sad.
Jerry gets drunk every Satur-
1. Give the birthplace of the       dfly ni«hL
Jerry   flunks  philosophy,
;-'
.;: nor.
I.
st 15 methods of learn-
g ihis poem,
' >
,1
i
,s(    ten   more   ways   of
ti
.m'hing it.
4.
it
hy does this poem prove
1 s
t- author i.i a  mysogen-
5.
T  -
1,
v many colors are men-
.■-.ed?
6.
c
hr  it.
Letsfaeeih..
40 YEA|fc OF SERVICE
TO THE  UNIVERSITY  OF
BRITISH COLUMBIA.
ITS FRATERNITIES
AND SORORITIES.
THERE'S A REASON
STATIONERY AND
PRINTING CO. LTD.
Tt iepHon e   DA oi nc O 171
1035  Seymour  Street
Vancouver 2, B.C.
EYES
EXAMINED
J. J. Abramson
I. F. Hollenberg
Optometrists
Immediate  Appointment
Vancouver Block
MArine 0928    MArine 2948
in bo*res only
Tuxedos    -    Dinner  Jackets
Gowns   -   Wedding  Apparel
Graduation Discount
EX 3714, Knighl & Kingsway zz
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or
26
FOR ALL YOUR
Pharmaceutical Needs
and  Prompt, Efficient Prescription  Service
SEE
UNIVERSITY PHARMACY
5754 University Boulevard
Jack and Millie Burchill
Tiiis is a play.
The play is over.
Colour the actor's face red.
Colour    the    director's   face,
green.
d£) fit)
^-'•>"°"*^,.>-
■^p*i»*->p'y ... y:K;;-
Jerry is taking Creative Writing at the moment.
He hits a typewriter,'
See the typewriter, Cecil?
He has a thesaurus.
See  the thesaurus,  Cecil'.'
He has tt rhyming dictionary.
See the rhyming dictionary,
Cecil?
lie also has a synthesizing
imagination.
See it you can find thai, you
little snuirt-aleck.
.TTinnfrTTTTTrTTTT^T:
This is lite audience.
Jerry and Jane liked the play.
Jerry and Jane have :;o colour
in this picture.
Don't think and do.
Think and don't.
Marv didn't think and went. Ajjaf o) AJS8U aq [[tA\
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H!iS
u
Graduation
This is a sociology discussion
group.
Jerry i.s part of il.
Colour that part of Jerry tin
orange.
Jerry is also fro tnthe lower
middle class.
This is a noon-hour lecture,
'there is a  man  talking.
Colour hint black.
The audience    i.s     lislening lo
htm attentively.
Colour them grey.
It  is  a   noon-hour   lecture.
Colour it brown.
Colour that part of him  blue,
Jerry i.s also a white protest-
an', don't  forget.
Colour that pari ol' him in a
nice green.
What colour is Jerry'.'
Jerry and Jane have graduated.
They are very happy.
The sun is shining.
It i.s a lovely time.
Oh look, sa\s Jane.
Look at the man.
Where, says Jerry, I can't see.
The goddamn sun is in my eyes.
I am the man who is going to give ym;
voice from the horizon.
1 never worked in my life, sa\ s Jerry.
It is a lovely time.
Well you're damn well going to work now. says Ja:
The sun has set.
It is getting dark, says Jerry.
That's the way it goes, kid, says the man.
i'o, Jerrv, says a
\'.     I

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