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The Ubyssey Mar 6, 1956

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"ARTY" PIQUE HUMOUR MAG   ON SALE WEDNESDAY   OFFERS SOMETHING FOR EVERYBODY
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VANCOUVER, B.C., TUESDAY, MARCH 6. 1956
Number   58
Pooh on  Sex Says ASUS
JOE BLOTl RETURNS TO UBC;
JOINS ARTS UNDERGRADS
Joe Blotz has joined the Arts and Science Undergraduate Society.
Blotz announced his decision Monday in an exclusive
interview with Artsbyssey reporter Alake Akesakc.
Said Blotz: "Engineers have ignored mo ior more than
a year now and I'm tired ol waiting for attention. Besides
I crave to  become cultured."
Blotz has been ignored by ihe Engineers ever since
he got "lost" in 1954. He was not heard from since that
clay before making his brief appearance Monday.
"I am happy to be back," lie said, "and I am outrageously happy lo be able to join the cultured Arts
faculty."
! Sex is not the major problem facing university students.  Overcrowding is. "
Artsmen have the answer. ASUS demands that UBC be moved to the Vancouver Hotel.
This would relieve overcrowding on the campus. It would
also relieve overcrowding on fhe highways between the campus
and the centre of town at Georgia and Howe!
"Just think of the advantages" said artsman Tom Pillson,
■head  of an  ASUS committee  investigating  the  project.   ''Imagine playing football in the ballroom!"
The old campus could be used by non-cultured faculties,
he said. Quoth he:
"The Arts Building would require no conversion for
use by animal husbandry as a stable." And . . .
"The Law Building would become a combination engineer's dormitory and chicken coop."
He elaborated on his idea, saying: "The Hotel Vancouver      CHAPLIN and MAGOO series
■ is now being operated on a loss by the CPR and CNR jointly,   continue  at   noon  today   in   the
We hope to trade a large part of our lands for the building."        Auditorium.   Included   is   "The
Both parties stand  to gain by  the deal according  to     'Emigrant."   with   Edna   Purvi-
Pillson. The university has proven its incapacity to make
profitable use of the endowment lands, "while the CPR
has shown itself to be an enterprising real estate agent."
'tween classes
ASUS Meeting
Scheduled Today
ASUS EXECUTIVE and Committees meeting Tuesday, March
6 at noon in Arts 104. All mem-
boss of pro-tern executive, publicity committee, social committee, and nominees for 56/57
executive must attend.
*       *       *
STEALING girl and bottled refreshments of a frustrated
engineer is thus prime examule of a super cultured Arisman.
"I'm tired of beer-soaked redshirts," breathes a happy
co-ed as she prepares to sample the pure waters of the
sophisticated Arts life -Photo by Henry Chorney
OTHER ADVANTAGES
Hotel Vancouver is much more centrally located, many
weary hours spent by diligent students commuting between
ectures to healthful diversions would be cut down to a minimum.
The University would be under one roof, .and furtive
scuttling between buildings in the rain would be eliminated.
Law Students would have easy access to the court house.
The Building itself is ideal for a university. There are
numberless salons for large lectures. The basemen) as it stands
now could absorb any overflow from the larger classes.
Student Accommodation could be arranged in the upper
floors, with the penthouse reserved for the president.
However, the engineering students would be better left
where they are at present. Imagine ihe uproar they would
make if they were deprived of their pleasures of moving the
Mies  of  existing  structures   in   their  surveying   exercises.
Furthermore ihe segregation of the two classes would
benefit the engineers. Their feeling of inferiority that, is aggravated by even infrequent contact with artsmen would be
obviated.
On the other hand artsmen would be even better able to
maintain their intellectual purity as a class, The two classes
would not even have to ride the same buses.
ARTS EDITION
r.nce and  Charlie.
* *       *
MASS DURING LENT- every
Monday and Wednesday noon
in the Newman Clubhouse Hut
L-5, Everyone welcome.
* *       *
COMMERCE   E LECTION
speeches will be held Wednesday noon in 11. G. 1.
* *       *
UNIVERSITY BAPTIST Club
presents Rev. L. G. Baker speaking on "What docs the inspiration of Scripture mean'.'" Wednesday noon in Physics .'?01. All
welcome.
* *       *
PRE-MED. SOCIETY elections
will be held Wednesday noon
in Physics 201. All Pre-Med*
are urged to attend.
* *        *
NEWMAN CLUB Basic The-
ology course continues under the
direction of Rev. Father Hanrah-
an, C.S.B., Wednesday at 3:30
in Physics 302.
* * -k
MODERN DANCE CLUB prac
lice Wednesday at 0:00 p.m.
Wednesday in Hut G-4.
* * k
FUS Council moot inn' post*
poned until March 14.
(Continued   on   Pago   3)      1
Se« CLASSES J§ THE UBYSSEY
Student subscriptions $1.20 per year (Included in AMS fees). Mail
•ubscriptions $2.00 per year. Single copies five cents. Published
In Vancouver throughout the University year by the Student
Publications Board of the Alma Mater Society, University of
British Columbia. Editorial opinions expressed herein are those
of the editorial staff of the Ubyssey, and not necessarily those of
the Alma Mater Society or the University. Letters to the Editor
should not be more than 150 words. The Ubyssey reserves the right
to cut letters, and cannot guarantee publication of all letters
received.
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF     STAN BECK
City Editor ... Jean Whiteside Feature Editor -- Mike Ames
Photo Editor John Robertson Sports Editor...Mike Glaspie
Managing Editor    _Sandy Ross       Business Mgr. ... Harry Yuill
SENIOR   EDITOR        _  ..   _      AL   FORREST
CULTURE  EDITOR        MICHAEL  AMES
JOKE EDITOR  WALTER SHYNKARYK
SEX EDITOR      ...  NEIL ORNSTEIN
Reporters: John Dressier, Rosemary Kent-Barber, Dave Robertson, Ted Nicholson, Olie Wurm, Alake Akesake, Pat Westwood,
Rae Haines, Kathy Archibald, Dave Hughes, Flora MacLeod,
Nigel Turner, Tom Pillson.
Sports: Bruce Allardyce, Dwayne Erickson, Ted Trevor*
Smith, Joan Crocker.
Pooh On Council
Dirty old student councillors—like clean young nurses—
are out for blood this year.
Right from the start, our beloved Ivory Tower tribe has
been out to scalp the poor defenseless little baby Arts Society.
They have been mean. They have been brutal.
But the Arts society has been adamant. Whatever that
means.
Student council had a fear, and perhaps a reasonable fear
(no, scratch the word reasonable) that the Arts baby would
cost more than it was worth. More than $2000 would be the
price tag by October, 1956, when the new AMS budget is
handed down. All councillors could see is that the baby would
be noisy and unpredictable and require constant supervision.
There would be many changes during the year they foresaw.
But council, not the Arts baby, is all wet. They have
failed to dampen our spirit with their submersive tactics. They
have spanked us like dishwater'. They have flayed us for pools.
The Arts baby is not crying over the bum treatment we
have received at the hands of council. That we have been mistreated i.s painfully obvious. We will carry on.
Pooh on council.
Pooh On  Engineers
Dirty old engineers should not be allowed on campus.
Of what use are these red-shirted buffoons? They spend
most of their time scampering about the campus in the pursuit
of mischief—frightening freshmen, molesting nurses, and the
like. The administration ought not to tolerate such violations
of university regulations as are indulged in by the redshirts.
Their irreverent flouting of rules set clown by the virtuous and
sagacious administrators of this institution constitutes an unforgivable sin.
Engineers have stood in the way of the advancement of
culture long enough. The time has come lo do away with them
and their boorish behaviour. To arms, artsmen, and rid this
glorious institution of redshirted childishness!
We only regret that the bounds of decency set up by The
Ubyssey prevent us from expressing here our desires to consign the engineers to the nethermost, regions of porditiun.
Hooray For Arts
Dirty old obstacles will not hinder the forward march of
the Arts and Science Undergraduate  Society.
Be,tl.cn, flustered, bloody (we .support the blood dtive
en masse) but unbowed, ASUS will continue to rise onward
and upward,
For years s'udents have talked up I ho idea of an Arts
undergraduate society. The1 have seen the need. The need is
obvious. Tho way to proceed, however, is a debatable point.
Should Artsmen bait the Engineers, Council, Lawmen, Com-
niercinaries, or Nurses? Or should Arlsmon merely present
a constructive cultural, program for the edification of the cultured  few on campus.
Whatever the answer an Arts society should exist. If there
were no Arts society someone would soon get the idea to set
one up and the whole tour de farce would start all over again.
We have an Arts society now. The quest ion i.s—where do
\ve go from here?
Executive members of ASUS are full of optimism over
next year's group. An Arts festival is planned, to add variety
1(i a program of "hashes and smashes aimed at outdoing the
efforts of all other undergraduate societies combined.
Variety will be the keynote of next term's program. Activities for women, athletes, debaters, and cultured types will
be presented.
What Arts will do in the future is still not crystal clear.
What is crystal clear is that—come council or high water—
ASUS is here to stay.
ASUS WILL ARISE
DESPITE SETBACKS
"It's impossible. It won't work. You can't organize the Arts people."
This is what  Council shouted  when Arts students came up with the idea  to organizt
an Arts and Science Undergraduate Society.
In spite of their discouragement, we borrowed the
obstinacy of the Social Creditors and we took the
plunge.
In our short term of proba-
tional existence, we showed
that it is not only possible to
organize the ASUS, but also
to have one with a strong
workable constitution. W e
have shown that the Arts
students ought to be represented along with the other
faculties on U.S.C.
We have made it clear that
the Arts students have a right
to claim a share of the AMS
budget just as any other undergraduate society. We have
made it possible for creative
Arts students to work on their
own issue of the University
paper. We have created avenues that they may think beneficial to their own faculty.
All these things we have
done, and in addition we have
actually brought some valuable Arts students (new faces)
out of apathy, and watched
them with pride and delight
taking part in various piloses
of   student   activities.
We. even tried to show by
the introduction of the Arts
week, that the Artsman need
not be apologetic about this
1'aculty nor hide other faculties by saying pro-Social, pre-
Dentistry. (pre-This and pre-
Tluit), when asked to what
faculty he belongs. The Arts
faculty is not a mere filler or
feeder for the other university schools, nor is it just an
excuse for a university tr,lining, Indeed, by itself, it
could   be  The   University.
This is what we tried to
demonstrate through Arts
week. But the limited lime
we had to bring about this
''fait accompli" was too short;
our pocket dry, and our army
few, .scattered and harassi d
by Council. Tn short, Ihe
cards were stacked aeainsl
lis. Did the and achy of \ oiith,
toe helmf in our goal, and the
bare po.-sibih'y of s'icv s
prodded us along. A.s you
have no: iced, the result was
n failure --a frame catharsis.
The fault was ours.
In a few weeks, the outgoing
(spent) and incoming council
will be discussing the fe.to of
tho A.S.U.S. Should it stay
or should it bo disbanded?
The result of thftir debate will
b* indirectly ft mirror for
ihom.
If AST' S. collapses it w ill
be because it lack-, hadi rsb ip.
We elcled our councillor:-; because we fell titer can provide us with leadership. We
are sure they will not lot us
down. Election lo an office
such a.s theirs carries wiMi it
more than the glamour of a
gold-crested blue blazer. Tt
could be, and often is demanding.
Once an energetic reporter
interviewing the late Tvlanal-
ma Ghandi pressed him to
wait to answer some more
questions. Ghandi refused
and ^aid: ''No, there go my
people: I must follow." A
good leader sometimes lias to
follow.
Everyone, even councillors,
believes that A.S.U.S. is good
and necessary. Even if Council's belief in it is not as
.strong a.s ours, they may have
to follow us to its realization.
It would be easy for council
to say, "Shove it aside," and
'table it for tomorrow." But
we think they will take the
more   courageous   step.
We have not succeeded in
all our endeavours. We have
had our failure. Even Council cannot claim 100 percent
success.
The new treasurer Allan
Thackray had challenged ub
to place a bet with him that
A.S.U.S. will not pass through
Council. We agreed. He withdrew because he felt it unfair
to my pocket since he will
have a vote in the matter.
What he fails to see is that
though Council could give us
a lead in this matter, the final
decision lies with the Arts-
men themselves and the tribunal of the Student body. We
have faith.
What do you say?
£cuh<fih$ ficard
Car-Chain
Editor,  The  Ubyssey,
Dear  Sir:
I'm in second year Applied
Science, and I've got a problem. We've got a car chain,
see, five good science-men,
and one Arts-man. George,
who we took in because lie
was the only guy we could
find win) conies along Southwest Marine Dri\e for eight-
t!ur< e.«. Weil, it's not just-
that GeOige i.s an Arlsiiuui,
but   he  ac's  like   one.
lie listens to CBC. that high
brow mu.MC in the morning*
when its his turn to drive out,
and lie kind of forgets where
he is, and we go screaming
around those corners on Marine Drive, and he says he's
"transplanted" or something;
and what we're afraid of is
that we're all going to be
transplanted, and be says all
that worries us i.s that we are
afraid to go before SI. Peter
in a red sweater.
And then he gets in an
argument, by saying thai arls-
nien are "huiiv.ms" or something, and flank, who wrestles
.some, grabs him by the hair,
and wants to know if he's in-
furring that engineers aren't
humans, but George doesn't
answer, light away, became
v e're beai ing do1.', a on the
Sine mi Frasi r Monunu at. al
4[\ miles an hour, and even an
aiT-m'V.i knows that Henry
never built a car that's as
strong   as   the   monument.
But. artei'. George looks at
II.ink, and go! ; real I'rimdiy,
an.I talks bun k'do going' to
Anthropology with him, by
promising to introduce, him lo
Hie girls, bu! Hank didn't
even get to meet Ihe girls, because a.s .soon as he get ; in
the door a bunch of Iheso
queers emne alter him with
o\cr-gt'iiwn calipers, wauling
lo measure his head. and
shunUm', "A perfect specimen!'' and I don't think Hank
quite imder.-.lood, he said lie
was darned if they were going
to get a specimen out of him
so soon after Ihe Engineers'
Ball, so he beat ii out of there.
Now, I ask you, i.s that any
way to (real a line boy like
Hank, who is so healthy and
vigorous that his hair grows
right down lo his eyebrows,
almost?
Bui that's not altogether
my problem, George is a men
ace in other ways, I mean to
say, he's a communist or some
thing; he is undermining the
very foundations our civilization is based on, like when he
says Science isn't everything.
George even goes so far as to
attack our Physics Department, he admits its good alright, but he always says why
should we put so much money
into training Ph.\ sieists here,
when they have to go to
Chalk River or the Slates or
some place to work unless
they stay bore and train more
Physicists, and we always say
why shoukhit they go some
place else to work if they can
make more money, and then
George   really   gets   mad.
I don't see why he should
mind, unless he's jealous, because an artsman can't get a
job any place, better than another. And then he gets into
orguments with Bob, who's in
Engineering Physics. George
and Bob went to high school
together, and George always
got the best mark-;, but now
that George is taking arts,
his marks are good, but Bob
i.s geMiug marks in the high
nineties, which shows what a
fine 1 raining science is, and
1. He says
marks  like
age  m;
it geis G
no   one   ever
thai   in   Arts,   even   if   he's   a
i"-inus,  and  that's why  a  pure
Setm'Ceman    al-.va.v-;   uin.s   the
Governor   ('■ -ueral's   Mi rial.
Well, that's v. ird. I mean
about Georg \ lie gets arguing
and lie proves th.g students
in the sciences are smarter
than those in arts, and then he
says that isn't, what ha has
proved at all. llis mind is
wandering, and he's gone soft
in   Ihe   head.
He gets a persecution complex, like wh- n lie .--ays it
seems like there',-, a great malignant force behind the system
of education, hiring the more
intelligent students like Bob
into the sciences by giving
them higher mark-;, and leaching them how to destroy things
instead of bow to create.
That's the sort of thing you
gel from George, and lie's supposed to get his B A. this year,
bul everyone knows what. B A.
stands for. He's just jealous
of the fine new buildings that
the sciences have, but he pretends he's not, he says that the
money should go into Agriculture and Forestry and Min-
(Continued   on   Page   G)
See LETTER TO THE EDITOR THE UBYSSEY
Tuesday, March 6, 1956
Sudden Death
Score 50-50
UBC Thunderbirds battled to a 50-50 draw with Sea-Fun
at King Edward gym last night in the first of a two-game
total point series to determine the B.C. basketball championship. -J;	
The deciding game of the total
THERESA, pride oi' the Aggie Barns, was
imported Monday by the desperate farmers
trying to beat out the lawyers in this year's
Spring Blood Drive. Avenging lawyers,
carrying yet another wrd, claimed the trims-
action had been ilieml since the owner's
consent had not been , n en. ASUS officials,
huirieilly intervening to prevent a fight
and waste of precious blood pointed out
that the lawyers had plenty of four-footed
animals of their own to fall back on. Blood
drive continues in the Armoury every day
from (k.'iO to 4:30.
—Tom Spouse Photo
Bleeding This  Year
Runs  in  Serious  Vein
By ROSEMARY  KENT-BARBER
Some  2'81.  students  paid  a  part   of  then'  debt   to  society
Monday. They donated blood.
It  didn't hurt  them.  In  fact, |
watching  them  as   they  sipped 1 revived   and   strengthened   by
their free cokes afterwards, the   their blood.
only thing that looked different j The 281 students included
about them was the expicssion 21% of the Facully of Fores-
Of self-satisfaction on their faces. try goQ o{ all Aggies and 5°o
. It wasn't a smug look. It of ihe Commerce Faculiy.
was rather a pleased, relaxed These were the leaders with
expression as though they were the Delta Upsilon and Psi Up-
thinking of all the erne!•'■!m'.v silon fraternities well ahead
operations that could < o for- in the Greek race.
Ward, tire convalescents i! m i t
would recover faster am toe
accident victims  who  vui'd   be
Politicos
Contest
WUS ELECTIONS
SLATED THURSDAY
Elections lor the combined
executive of Women's Undergraduate Society and Women's
Athletic Association will be held
Thursday in Physics 200.
Positions open are vice-president, secretary, treasurer and
public relations officer.
Nominations will be received
I from the floor to add to the
slate prepared by the WUS
nominating committee.
All women on campus are
eligible to vote and all are urged
to attend this very important
I meeting.
Elect
Blood drive prizes were unfortunately not drawn today
I torn the Blood Barrel. Prizes
for today will be a dinner for
two at the Sylvia Court Hotel,
tickets for two at the Studio
Theatre and a LP record donat-
d by Columbia Electric in Ker-
risdale.
Wednesday's prizes are din-
o"i' tor I wo at ihe Dugout. t ick-
< ! Tor two al tile International
( :\ e.na and an I.P record given
t •. ':'' i m ip-.i "i Fleet rie. Monday's
es'/es will  be  drawn todav,
iiu h i e i here is a m w ex-
n I I '"nig ' i led durin u th is
M-.'Ce   la a
The   election    of   i' '
plate of officers Cor th■■  i . .
ty   Clubs   Commit a"   ■
is being contested.
The first slate was i.hra.wn on
last  week on   the basis  thai   tin
political clubs loaded the meet- ' Spring's Bleed !)r,\
ing. All members of the first '-'ud. nts. lr,\,. volimV...-, ,-1 to
Sla'e were politim.l ehe> r- ;,res- , "<'< »■« "serum doners" T!mi is
e,,!atives. ";rv   h:ivc'  lH''"n   m.l11''"!   wth   a
The petition lo ii.vaml '■■ the eerlain type of blond \|,.,d..y
gocond election I.s be, m .- „m -'id will return Frida> to have
sored by tlv< polite al clue,, on 'ieir blood siphoned off and
the basis thai the second unci- i!"'fl '" t''-^ the type of blood
ing v.es loaded against  bun.       ■ ,if ,,ill(''' students.
The   petition   al'o   -.'ree---   that        The   practice   in   new   to   VV,C.
i. liei     but    not    with    the    "Red    Cross
em e     .vho   have   been   carrying   it   out
Al    !ui'   Pie   last    five   years.   Armed
,    ■■'   i     I a ee ■ have been acting as ''guin-
i   n us."  I hi <  vear  I.'Ht' students
i       s I!      be    the    volunteers.
P.io.ip   drive   continues   today
:■,■■,!■    ,n   b;<   Armenries and ev<am day
■ii ,.■!    mr  a   ueel:.   Anyone   in   average
meeting to ensure a full turnout,    health   max    donate,   lied   Cross
The   intention   was   fulfilled   at   otiicials  ( mphasize and  tin-re is
the second meeting in that it was ; no discomfort   involved.
the biggest UCC meeting in his-1     C.ive   your   blood   thin   year.
fory." i Help save others' lives.
the   required    lour   em
of  the   meeting   'a-1-    ■
Retiring    UCC    eh
Thackray said Mond
er UCC  general  m, ■
be defeating the pure.
and   its   constitution     i
lion of the constitution
enough   notice   of
Engineers'
Jokes Lousy
Says Toronto
College humour—UBC Engineer's style— was coldly received
on the University of Toronto
campus recently.
Toronto student paper, the
Varsity, reprinted several jokes
which appeared in the February
'.', I Engineers' Edition of the
rio'ssey.
Toronto Facully members took
a den view of the material, and
■id   so   m   no   uncertain   terms.
\'.'<   are under strong pressure,"
Y..r,;i\    Editor  P.ob   Brown said
i'riday.
Brown asked Ubyssey Editor
Stan Beck to wire, telling what
the reaction to the Engineers'
Edition at UBC had been.
"Absolutely nill," Beck wired
back.   "Mildest edition in years."
Poet Louis Untormeyer was
attending a costume party one
i coning. He was looking his
silliest in a ridiculous hat and
tooting a horn. An Arts girl
wandered up to him, looked him
over scornfully and snapped.
Huh! And to think you're re-
(liiired reading!"
*       *       *
She was a wallflower at the
dance but a dandelion in bed.
point series will be tomorrow
night in the War Memorial gym
at 8:30 p.m.
The extra game was made necessary when Sea-Fun and UBC
finished in a fiwst-place tie in
the round robin play-offs, each
with four wins and two losses.
After holding a nineteen point
lead midway in the third quarter, Birds just managed to hold
off the rampaging Sea-Fun quintet for the remainder of the
game, scoring two free throws in
the final minutes to gain the
tie.
Jack Pomfret's collegians
raced to an early lead, forcing
Sea-Fun to give up their zone
for a man-to-man defense within
five minutes of play. Birds held
a 10-2 lead at the quarter.
With Mike Fraser controlling
the board, Barry Drummond
checking fiercely, and John McLeod keeping high scoring Bob
Pickel to two free throws in
the first half the Thunderbirds
held a comfortable 28-12 margin
at the intermission.
Sea-Fun continued to fall back
in the third quarter until, with
the score 40-21, they suddenly
caught fire against the tired
Birds.
Bob Pickel and Ron Stuart
had everything their own way
on the boards and along with
ex-Bird Brian Upson, lead coach
Lance Hudson's quintet in a big
fourth-quarter drive that gave
them a 50-48 lead with two minutes to play.
McLeod and Fraser scored on
foul shots to tie the score 50-50,
and Ed Wilde counted a lay-up
which was ruled a fraction of a
second after the final buzzer to
rob the Birds of a win. Since
it was at total-point series, overtime was not played and the
Wednesday night game at UBC
will decide the B.C. Championship.
John McLeod led all scorers
with sixteen points to raise his
leading individual scoring total
In play-off competition, well
ahead of second place Pickel
who follows tho Bird forward
with one hundred twenty-six
points.
Mike Fraser scored 15 points
I and was easily the best man on
j the floor, outshining both Mc-
i Lood and Pickel.
never  look  at   girls
first  look covers ev-
Artsmen
twice—the
erything.
* *       *
Wanted: Storage for piano in
exchange for high school girl to
practice on.
* *       *
Artsman: "Gosh, you have a
lovely  figure,"
. Co-ed:   "Oh,   lei's   not   go   all
over that again."
* *       *
Artsman: "Am I the first man
you ever loved""
Co-ed: "Yes, my sweet. All the
rest were student councillors.
* *       *
She: "Will you join me in a
cup   of  tea0"
He, (hesitatingly): "Well, you
get in, and I'll see if there's any
room left."
CLASSES
(Continued from Page 1)
LUTHERAN STUDENT Asso-
ciation presents a discussion of
Bonhoeffer's Life Together. "To
Live Together We must be Able
to Live Alone." Wednesday noon
in Arts 105.
* *       *
JAZZSOC meets today noon
in Brock Stage Room. Annual
elections for president and vice-
president will be held and there
will be a discussion of the Modern Jazz Quartet.
* *       *
PRE-LAW SOCIETY meets
Wednesday noon in Arts 204.
Elections will be held and all
members must attend.
* *      *
PARLIAMENTARY   FORUM
Executive meets Wednesday 3:30
in Brock Board Room to complete planning of Spring General meeting.
* *      *
LAST   CHANCE   to   order
Maid of Mountains" pictures.
Proofs will be in Mussoc clubroom today and Wednesday
only.
* *       *
LEGION  CUP DEBATE  will
be held in F & G 100 Wednesday
noon. Topic is "Proposed that
Canada secede from the British
Commonwealth of Nations."
Presentation of the Legion Cup
to the winning team will follow
the debate, which is an annual
affair at UBC.
* *       *
VOC General Meeting Wednesday noon will feature plana
for "Sky Pilot" ski trip to Britannia Beach and second slate
of elections. All members out
please.
* *      ILLIBERAL  CLUB  General
meeting today in Arts 100. President's report on Ottawa convention and ratifications of Mock
Parliament Bill on the Agenda.
All  members   urged  to  attend.
* *       *
STEERING   COMMITTEE
meets today at noon in Brock
Board Room. Rules and agenda
for Mock Parliament will be discussed and all political clubs
must be represented.
* *       IN-
CONSERVATIVE CLUB meets
Wednesday m Arts 10fi to elect
new executive for coming year.
All members must attend .
* *        *
CLU Executive will elect the
1956 Sedgewick award winner
Wednesday noon in Il.B.l. Nominated are: Laura Jamieson, Abe
Arnold, and Ernest Winch. Fur*-
ther nominations must be handed in, in writing to Al Forrest
before Wednesday.
* *       *
HILLEL presents Rabbi Gold-
enburg on the "Zohar," the Book
of Jewish mysticism, Wednesday
noon  In  Hillel  House.
* * *
MOZART CONCERT by Harry Adaskin, violin and Frances
Marr, piano today noon in Physics 200. Sonata No. 7 in F, and
Concerto No. 4 in D. Free to
all. Artsmen  Produce Culture
Wylie's Essay On
Morals Analyzed
By KATHY ARCHIBALD
In Wylie's opening "Note to the Reader" he says, "I am
»n amateur, a layman, and I do not even own a university
degree ..." This statement, buried 9s it is between such
poundage of pedantic phrases and grandiose verbage, made me
f think immediately, "Wylie's just being ostentatious, covering
up an inferiority complex."
Later when the depth of meaning began to show through,
I changed my mind. "Esoteric," I thought. Whichever, if either,
the most noticeable weakness of "An Essay on Morals" is that
the average reader must spend more time with the dictionary
than with the book. Yet Philip Wylie is sincere in his convictions and believes that such ideas should be presented to the
masses . . . "Let us make a place in the news of our society,
then, for the exposition ..." In the light of his own statements it is difficult to understand why he chooses to talk
above the heads of what must be 90 per cent of his possible
audience.
Wylie states that the educated man has turned from the
gods, that few intellectuals belong to a recognized congregation; but he seems to overlook or ignore the fact that the
churches may still fill a very real need for the majority of the
population, those who are not intellectuals. In his very concept of evolution of "worship," he admits his awareness of
this need; and also in his statement, "that in the subjective
world he alone (the individual) can understand the formula,
and only within himself ..." This abstraction of religious
freedom surely would allow a place for those who understand
a formula within themselves, after it has been equated by
someone else. The "someone" else could be a church, or it could
be Mr. Philip Wylie.
Wylie's very manner of writing undermines his own argument. His pedantry prevents a general assimilation of the
essay. It emphasizes the fact that the world in it present state
is not sufficiently "intellectual" to grasp, en masses, his
concept of morals.
I feel that his apostrophe oi the ohurches is an inaccurate
figure of speech. To them he ascribes a" personality, one that
has all the charm of a vindictive leech. To say that the churches
have been wrong or even that they are wrong is one thing;
but to infer that their wrongness is malicious and deliberate
is quite another. A.s church leaders on the whole are well-
meaning and Wylie purports to admire sincerity, his manner
of criticism is unjustifiable.
Philip Wylie decries nationalism almost as strongly as the
churches . . . then falls victim to it himself as he starts chapter
XV. A.s he jumps on  tho Great  American  Bandwagon,  he
brashly trumpets, "We Americans want only the idea. We have
• the know-how."
Any review of Wylie's work seems inevitably to turn
out a.s a critic. In this case, however, I hope it is one that gives
the impression of activated thought rather than of rancor.
"An Essay on Morals" us a potent stimulus to modern
thinking; but as with all potent medicines, an overdose might
lidve rather disagreeable effects.
THE SEA LAUGHS
(By L. H.)
There  are  days when  the  sea
laughs in sunlight,
Sparkles  and dances  and nips
at the shore,
And   nights    when   she   sleeps
bathed   in   moonlight,
With a murmuring roar.
Then   the   wind   stirs   her  soul
into   madness,
Her beauty will cease.
And she'll shatter and tear like
a demon,
No longer at peace.
So  it   is  with  mankind   of   all
ages;
Souls  turbulent—peaceful—■
blind, groping for light;
Souls  stirred   into  madness  byj
madmen; I
Light-seeking   souls;   *earching
always at night.
CULTURE  EDITOR - Michael Ames
DOUBT
(By R. H.)
How has He provided to leave
man immortal?
Is another existence above the
void?
Dust unto dust; I fear the
portal .  .  .
Is it soul or dust that cannot be
destroyed?
"Have  faith,"   I am  told.    "In
what?'' I reply,
For these doubts I cannot
ignore.
Thc life I know will end when
I die,
And after memory, what's more?
A VERY INTERESTING essay Miss Damour, but I don't
think you understand exactly what we mean by a "Romantic
School."
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EPHEMERA
(By John Dressier)
No love have I—Compassion's
cold
In a hard breast of woe.
One love I had, when spring
made gay,
And roses bloomed a-row.
When summer came, our lovo
was warm,
With kisses warm like the sun
On a brown, bare chest on thc
beach,
After a sandy run.
But winter came with blasty
drafts,
Time changed  the season's
reason
For  loving  and laughing carefree,
To cold reason's season.
And then my lov© was gone
and I
Stumbled on through a score
Of unwarm  sunny  springs  and
falls.
And vowed to love no more.
Is Our Society on a
Slow Boat to Hell?
I keep hearing that the world is becoming a "freer" place
in which to live. The "line" always has something to do with
the breakdown of customs and tradition and the end of all
morals and respect for authority. One friend, who sees the
church as the failing bulwark of convention, says that within
50 years even the wedding ceremony will be discarded. Society,
in bhort, is on a slow boat to Hell.
But the church is not failing.; *
The physical proof of its tern- j doings of others.  Tolerance,  i«
porizing power is all around us, i short, is for peacetime.
in   the   dramatic   new   experiments in church architecture.
And Convention? It is grow-
There is a strong tie between
convention and intolerance.
When we peck out from behind
ing up around us like a boxwood j our boxwood hedges and cry
hedge — the hedge which we
plant as a necessary symbol of
our desire for privacy, and which
reaches up to thc sun until it
becomes . . . not a symbol, but
the means of attaining privacy.
The "hot tools" of the Cold
War—the borpbs, the missiles,
the jets—are probably to blame,
and with more justification than
they are blamed for thc weaUicr, j "'"""
in the
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the disappearance of schools o£
fish, or pitted car windshields.
These things constitute a
threat, which all of us hear repeated with the monotonous
d rone of summer's crickets.
"Sudden death, sudden death,
no escape from sudden death."
Wo hear il and we laugh at its
insistence.   Simply,   we   are   a
'world    conditioned    to    sudden
I death: and just as the summer
camper   learns   lo   ignore   the
; crickets, w<» have learned to ig-
j nore thf threats.
'     But   tho.-m   throats   have   had
'their effect, If we must doubt
every sunset as our last, we
nui.'v live out tod.iv normally.
We will all watch our lives —
and everyone else's — more carefully,   The  accent   will   be   upon
i normality, in ourselves, in tail'
deinys,   in   other*,   and    in   the
"Unconventional!"   is   the  echo
not  "Intolerance! I"?
No, Convention i9 not break*
ing down. Some social standards have changed, but they
have never been static. We like
to say Mint we live in an enlightened world, but too much
of that li.qht is the glare of the
atom. The Darkness — "witch-
"gentlemen's    agree
ments" in the exclusive residential districts, religious persecution—is still present.
Tho   break-down   of   Conven-
tion'.'To mi! the evidence speaks
of   Convent;on   to   the   point   of
intolerance  . .  ,  normality,  and'
hedges.
r. n,
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AL. 2540 Exclusive Literary Efforts
Western Canadians
Are a Smug People
By DOUG HOWIE
We are a smug people. Yes, we on the West Coast. We
with   the  white-skins,  English-tongue   and   protestant   back- J
ground. This shocks  you?   Me,  smug?   But consider,  think,!
reflect a little. * .  '■.
Don't you preen yourself when ' er day I tried to buy a sweater :
the   politicians   woo   you   with j with  a  neckline  other   than   ai
their great- platitudes and
cliches?—this great and wonderful land of ours, land of opportunity, surface merely scratched
etc. We don't deny that it is
a great country, but reflect
who made it great. Did you? Did
I? Maybe our forefathers helped
make • this country great but
not us. We prefer to stay in
the city with its soft comforts,
its easy amusements and amenities, and inevitable corruption
and decay. For proof of our
''softness" 204,000 native born
have left for the States for no com^ent bralnwasning we wlll
^!!r J*™" A^J!*-"_!??!  be convinced that only one par-
ticular color is suitable.
V. The big stores do not carry
sweaters other than V neckline.
Eventually, after many hours
of search, I was forced to buy
one of these sweaters.
The process of standardization
and elimination of individualism had begun. I now have a (
sweater which resembles a few
thousand others on the Campus
except for size and shade. I
guess when we are forced to
mate so that we will produce
children of a standard size the
process will be complete. With
were better and the climate
more amenable. Then who is
making our country great today?
We are smug about our culture. Our culture consists of
ten songs—the ten which make j
,       ,      ...    A . i up the current hit-parade. Songs j
sloped  with   American   brams j produced and ^ in thc us. i
.ndmoney, and with cheap do-;w.th  th(j ible tion of j
ale European  labor. Canadians , „Man in a Raincoat;.  0ur art
Today the country is being de-
go to Kitlmat? No. Europeans
go to Kitlmat? Yes. Why- Because they arc prepared to work
hard to get a stake in the country; because they don't mind
working hard under unpleasant
conditions so long as they are
making something out of it: because they are prepared to do
without women and dancing
for awhile so that they can get
established trnd live a decent
life. If we don't watch out we
will find the entire north country occupied by Germans and
Italians.
has never quite got over the
"Group of .Seven'' and consists
almost entirely of cold, green,
uninspiring pictures of the Canadian woods, Our literature
doesn't exist.
Smug? You bet we are.
How  often  have  you
Our radio consists of a slavish
imitation of the States, and is
nothing more or less than a
stream of advertisement interrupted by the current hit parade. By constant repetition of a
melody, satiation quickly takes
place, and eventually you want
to vomit when a particular disc
is played. When they have run
out of current selections they
said: i t&ke you down "Memory Lane"
'One thing about this country
is that we don't have any racial
—"Remember   this   one   folks,
this was the year that thc Boer
prejudice." I say baloney. Just : War started and bloomers were
like South Africans, Americans' worn down to the ankles." And
or the EnglUh we have our pre- jthe sy»'"Py. confidential announ-
judices. What do you think ol i cers urging you to buy "Snug-
the  Indians?    How often  have!£'es" at the Sloppy Shoe Store
(just say  that  Doug  sent you).
If that's culture, I'll shave off
my beard.
SOLITARY   CONFINEMENT
By Rosemary Kent Barber
And   the   lonely   crowds   move
on;
Each in his own private world
Of Heaven or Hell,
Or nothingness,
Suspendedness,
Where everyone has a pattern,
Everyone  has  a  place,
Identification,   if  you   like,
Except,  of  course,  yourself.
And   the   lonely   crowds   move
on.
O God, O Power, O Space,
Please  help.
Nobody talks to me at the plant
Nobody   speaks   to   me  on   the
street.
And I catch myself, feeling
myself,
In the hollows of each night:
Deep  night,   long  night,   alone,
alone in the bed,
Won't  somebody  help me,
please.
And   the   lonely   crowds   move
on.
Why I have a ring and everything.
Oh won't the girls be mad.
Gee,  and   Bill's so  handsome,
Pity  he doesn't  like Dad.
But  I  wish,  I  wish  that  somebody cared,
Somebody understood  my love,
his love,
Our   love:  a   silvery   pattern,
seen in a strpam.
Deep down, far down, and the
cool,   cool  pebbles   glow;
Won't  somebody   please   understand.
And   the   lonely   crowds   move
on.
And   the  hollows,   the   pebbles,
the bed and the ring,
Form   fantastic  patterns,   whirl
and  dissolve,
And   the    lonely    crowds    disappear.
I'm left alone,
And the room is empty and
cold.
There's  nothingness  in   this
world,
And   the   room   is   empty   and
cold.
God, I'm afraid.
A Night Out For
Mother of Lennie
By AL FORREST
Lonely crowds gather here desperately seeking security
among the glare and blare of downtown arcade row.
Frantic.  Milling. Staring.
Pushing through slothful women and liquor-soaked men,
a woman, 36, enters a banging arcade, walks over to the swirling sounds and light of the juke box. Fascinating lights. Jungle
sounds. She picks a tune—loud and painful—deposits her
dirty coin, spins and ambles to the crowded bar section. Light*
are dimmer here.
She waits for the bartender. She waits for her song. She'H
have to wait a long time for both.
Frank falls.
He was leaning against a pinging pin ball machine, arm
around a gaudy fiftyish woman, suddenly fell over her ont*
the floor.
She hadn't noticed her mailman when she came in. Sha
starts to get up from the bar stool, to walk over, to help him
up . . .
"What'll you have lady?" |
"Beer." \]
She sighs and sits back.
The middle-aged woman leans over Frank, fails to tous*
him, straightens up, shrugs, and walks toward a yet older man
leering at her through an alcoholic haze.
Frank doesn't move.
Now he is moved by an arcade changeman and a senu-
; sober youth. They carry him outside. They will put him in «
taxi and send him home. The arcademan will  pull coins out
of his apron, shrug, and charge it to goodwill on the account
sheet.
Mailmen get so drunk when they go out. Especially widowed
mailmen.
"Get out! Get out and leave me alone!" she screamed,
Frank looked at her dumbly, blinked his eyes, looked as ii
he was going to cry.
"You filthy lustful beast, don't ever try that again."
Frank cried. He stood there and tears streamed down
his face.
"Look Frank, I like you see. I know what it's like to be*
alone. Been alone ever since Lennie was two. But I won't
let any man paw me, Understand? No man."
Frank gazed stupidly, staggered, stunned, he walked to
the bathroom, locked the door.
Later he crept quietly out the backdoor unheard, finished
his route, went home to lick his wounded pride.
She picks up her beer, downs it. She looks at the larga
clock. It's still going. She looks around, spies what she wants,
gets up, goes over, over towards a shabby drunk woman,
looking 40 but only 28. She knows Sally . . .
you heard them described as a
"no-good, lazy bunch of drunkards" and about everyone else
a.s well: "the goddam D.P.'s,
the goddamn peasoupers. trie
goddamn limeys, krauts, maca-
roni-munchers or any other nationality you care to mention.
Everyone is out of 6tep except
ourselves.
Wo on the West Coast are !
even smug about our climate I
Headlined are the first snow-!
foils back East. We gloat that the i
sun is still shining in Vamcou-1
ver. Never do we ever mention ;
that   everlasting   outpouring   of
Which reminds me of a scrib- i
heaven's grief—rain (sorry, li-
bluig on a Kitimat lavatory wall '^"d sunshine). Sure we have a
v. hie Ii was coveivd Willi cxhor-: bi!tter ^mate than Montreal
1;ilions for the D.P.'s to go back'01' Calgary, hut by analogy
In their own country, and the
. obscene and ingenious replies.
1 uderneath it all va* written:
''Vim ell gi) home. Only real
American is Indian, lie here
f.m.t." '
.strychnine is better than arsenic because it kills faster. Let's
luce it, Vancouver's climate is
lousv.
Like   I  said   before,
smug |wople.
we are  a
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W  are  smug  iiboiit   our  way
m"   l.f -.   We   don't   face   Ihe   fact i
t': >1   it  is merely a cheap, iiorke'-
ii'ink   edition   of   lire   American
v ,i.v   of   life.   Tii ;s   way   of   life i
v. inch   allows   no   place   for   individuality    we    are    proud    of.
In a very short while by virtue ,
ef   mass-production   and   brain- ;
washing  advertisement  (i.e.   re- j
peat  a  thing  often enough  and
people will belive you) we will
be reduced to a monotonous repetition of one another. The oth-
FIMSOC PRESENTS
"lo Paris With Love'
STARRING
Alec Guinness and Odile Versois
TODAY AUDITORIUM
3:30—6:00—8:15
35c
MILD
BUR LEY
TOBACCO
at its best, What Is
An Arts
Woman?
By ROSEMARY KENT-BARBER
An Arts girl is the worst thing
that could possibly happen to j
anybody. She appears carrying
s sheaf of bills and although
this increases a.s the years drag
on the total is always twice as
much as you budgeted for.
LETTER TO THE EDITOR
(Continued from Page 2)
Even when she is sleeping
through her lectures or yelling
across the caf or forgetting to
return her best friend's clothes
an Arts girls can be sleeker
and more expensive than anyone else in the world.
She can talk and talk on the
telephone for hours on end and
just when you reach over to
grab it away from her ''Gab,
Gab, Gab," there she goes
again.
An Arts girl is Innocence
sneaking into the dorms at 2
a.m., Beauty wearing a booster
bra and Motherhood before
you've had time to figure out
What his name was.
Arts girls come in five sizes,
expensive, expensive, expensive,
and expensive: Mother Nature al- '
ways manages to slip in an ex-'
pensive  one  as  you  try  to get!
©ut   without   buying   anything. ,
They disprove the law of sup-
ply and demand. No one wants -
an Arts girl but there the darned things are, a.s unwanted as
an engineer in the Publications
Board office.
God borrows from many things
to make an Arts girl. He uses the ;
voice   of   a   parrot,  the  squeal!
of a sorority girl at rushing time,
the  stubborness  of   an  English
101   professor   as   he   explains
the difference in levels of use-
age for the tenth time, the slyness of a fox, the softness of a
fur coat,  and to  top  it  all off
he adds the curious mind of a
crazy mixed up kid who doesn't
know where she's going  but is
getting   there   in   a   hurry  just j
the same.
An Arts girl likes spending
money, new clothes, all night (
parties, beer, Arts boys, Engin-|
ee.ring boys, Law boys, Physical !
Education boys, Teacher Train-1
ing boys, Agriculture boys, Med. i
boys, Pharmacy boys, Forestry I
boys  and just plain boys. j
She doesn't care so much for
girls, studying, professors, (unless young and presentable), .
books, milk, Acadia meals, labs,
Deans, ten p.m. bedtimes, being
good, small cars, thinking, hand-
me-downs or arriving on time
for lectures.
Who else can cause you more '
worry, nervous headaches, faint-1
ing fits, irritation and horror at'
this    combination    of    Marilyn
Monroe,   a   lorn  cat   and   Helen
Douglas? I
She can and does ruin your
home, your car, your days and |
your reputation, spend your'
money, your time and your temper. Then just when your mind
is ready to crack she says or
does something one thing more
and it does. [
But as they carry you scream
ing away to Essondale, as your
dreams of becoming  the   office
manager shatter and as you real j
ize   what   a   fool   you   were  to!
have a daughter, she can   make j
ell these things seem absolutely j
insignificant  by slinking up to
you and shouting "Hi. Dad, I'm
pregnant."
ing and Fishing, to be really
practical, but what does an
artsman know about being
practical,
I think v. hat's really tho matter with George is that he has
too much time on his hands.
He's only got 15 hours lectures,
and hardly anything else, lie
says he has essays to write,
and books to read, and be says
he does most of it in the library. Well, he couldn't. I've
been in that place, and its full
of people playing musical
chairs, lots of them walking
around looking for a place to
sit down, and the ones that are
sitting looking at, the ones that
are walking, and nobody's
working, they couldn't with all
that noise. And hot, boy. it
Was 85 Fall, on one of the wall
thermometers.
I think that's how the arts-
men get that lean, hungry look.
but its really a plot to overwork the bo'e.-rs m the sdam-
plant, and ma\be have them
blow up and i,"t a lot of science
men, being so close to the Applied Science building like it
is.   But we're on to them.
But to get back to my prob
lem, I think George has finally
cracked up. This morning we
were talking again about gel-
ting jobs, and he gets mad
whenever we say we might go
lo the Slides. And we say we
should be able to make more
money there, and he says all
we think there is in life is sex. I
booze and money. i
Well,  we  said  we  hope  you'
don't   think   f !.<-i e   is   anything
more.    And he started to laugh:
--and  he  laughed  ell   the   way!
till we liarkci. and  he was still
lnug'ihm   wh< o   |e>  disappeared
down  into the caf ! ihe lie does
every  motaoaa   ai   W.'M).     Well,
that's my problem,  lie's getting
delusion-;   II,,'.', .   hi     really   does
think   there's   something   else.
The   men   in   the   white  suits,
file probable right   tins  minute'
measuring him for one ol tlio.se
tight-tiding    jackets    with the
hmg wrap around sleeves. And
what  I want  to knew is. where
•are  wo  gnu a   lo   fine  someone
this   lale   m   i ie   nam   lor   the;
car-c ham. who di i w ., out   S.W.
Marine Drive for eight I hnuies'.'
Bicferably  a   Sciem e-nuin. j
Hopefully. j
Nod Eniap. App. Sci. '58 '
THE UBYSSEY
Tuesday, March 6, 1956
LUCKY WINNERS of SPORTS PAL shoes, coeds Louise
Van Allen and Liz Turvey, look over their new white
bucks. SPORTS PAL Popularity Poll contest continues
this  week. —Photo by  Henry  Chorney
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Just till in tho ballot below of yrtur choice of the new spring
models oi' SPORT PALS, now available at all department stores
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by draw.
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• Pawn Ivory
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• Avocado
2. "THE VAC A BOND"'
• Biack   Suede
• Blue   Suede
• Brown   Suede
• Carbon   Grey   Suede
• Russett   Elk
• Saddle   Elk
4. "THE BUCKSKIN"
• White
• Camel
• Strawberry   Float
• Baby Blue
■■il  Mt
I. "MR. LO-ROY"
• Rlndr.   Suede
• Brown   Glovo   Leather
©Charcoal   Glove   Leather
• Beige   Glove   Leather
(All    two-tone    trims)
PRICED AT
$7.95
$8.95
All    Sport-Pal
models are
flexible Goodyear welts, rubber .or crepe
soles.
Sizes   4-10
Narrow   and
medium   widths
5. "CLASSIC   SADDLE'
• White  and   Blue
• White   and   Brown
• Soap  'n Tan
• Soap 'n Blue
Sold at Eaton's, Hudson's Bay, The Bootory,
Stacy'*, EYarm-Shenpard, Detail's. Can.pus
Shue.m end other lead.ne stores throughout
i.'.rit.sh  t.'nhunbia.
Sport-Pals Popularity Ballot
Name 	
Address .. . 	
Your Shoe Size	
Your  Choiee: No. mm '■ THE UBYSSEY      '
Tuesday, March 6, 1956
T'-J *;•«■*"
Pucksters Edged
In Hamber Play
By DWAYNE ERICKSON
"We got the coach, we got the team, we got the pep, we
got  tlie  steam."
UBC Thunderbird  hockey squad had the coach and  the
team but they just didn't have the pep and the steam to hold
off the University of Alberta Golden Bears.
Varsity were scored on in thct-
sudden   death   second   overtime , screen shot 20 feet out from the
period as they lost in their bid j goal.   Birds,  unable to score in
to regain the Hamber Cup by
an 8-7 count. The playoff was a
two-game total point series played in Powell River's Willingdon
Arena.
the dying minutes, were forced
into an overtime period of ten
minutes. Howie Thomas made a
brilliant display in the overtime
frame to keep the game tied up
The UBC icemen held a one   and forcing the play into a sec-
point lead going into Saturday  ™d sudden death period
night's game via 5-4 victory over
U of A on Friday, and at the end
UBC outnumbered in players
(U  of A  had  sixteen  to Birds
of the second period in the final ten) were dead tired and it only
game, Birds held a two point j took Alberta's Ed Sorochuk one
series lead. \ minute and fifty one seconds to
Following   the  scoreless  first, 0iici<   the   red   light   and    take
period  Saturday   in   which  Al-  the Cup home,
berta  had a decided edge,  the j     ^  ^.^ ^^ ^
Birds   showed   better    orm   on & ^ ^ ^ by Bob
the.r defence and at the same ^ h Charlle ..Smith.. Waka.
time  Played  their   best   period j ^ Bob G[lhooly  With
of the series.
BIRDS TAKE LEAD
Holding an advantage in control of tho puck, U of A was forced into a defensive position.
With one minute and forty seconds left in the second period.
Birds Mike Church scored the
first goal on a short pass from
Bob GeigrioJ
only 23 seconds left in the first
period, Bears scored their first
goal on a pile-up in front of
the UBC net. In the second
frame, Ed Sorochuk and Ed
Buck scored for Alberta while
Mo Cunningham countered Birds
only .score.
I      Wakabavashi   scored   his   sec-
and 33 seconds after the whistle
in the third frame and Bear-
Ted Mitkenko made the game'.;
last goal at 17:00 minutes.
BLUE LINE BRIEFS —Hugh
McCulloch and Gordie Mundle
left the g'inie early because they
broke th< ir glares. Mundle was
later able to see action but
McCulloch couldn't bec;uise he
lost one of his contact lens.-
The games were riot a financial
success as expected. As a result
of these games, UBC had oiv
thousand dollars in their pocket
but there was a big hole and
consequently they lo.-t i'. Tie.
big hole was  no organization.-
At   1:32   of  the  final   period. ' ond goal of the night, 1 minute
only four blue and gold remained en the ice when  "Dynamic"
Dornbierer followed Geigrich to
the penalty box. About two minutes  later, with  Geigrich  back |
on  the  ice,  Bears Ozzie  Smith j
poked    the puck      past    goalie
Howie Thomas    cutting    Birds
series lead to one goal.
Edmonton countered again al
4:38 on a long shot by Ted ?,li-
tenkc from the blue line that
just caught the corner of the
Birds net. However at 6:50, Bob
Gilhooly put the Birds back in
front with -a drive from the
Blue line which flew into the
net over Bear Goalie Adam
Kryczka's shoulder,
CONTROL PLAY I —————————————
Birds hHd the i BEARS MAT BIRDS IM
front ol Aibrrla.s net   ior uearp
half   he period r SECOND RUfCER CAMi
to   get   a   puck   pa-l.   I    of   Am
spoiler   defence   v.hieh   was   al-!        University of California do-
wam's deiendin.; more uJh their i fea.ed BBC If',-!) in thoiccond
bodie , than  with their > ticks,        j gam-' of I i, ■ \w >rld t 'up Sei ie.s
W'th    litlle   more    :!.,-.!-.    four.' at Berkmlev :\kmd -y al'loi u< mn,
minutes  ].fl   in  die fir..,]   I'-ame. ; This viviory gives (j,e f: ,1,i,.n
goat's   be-.t    pair   Ernie   Ur.blh-,' Boars   a   '.'■!    point   mar;,hi   in
waite and Jerry I'astula  teamed ! the four game sories,
lip   to   tie   the   series   no   on   a ' ,    . ,, ,
BIRD GOALIE Howie Thomas (1) stops another Alberta shot in the last game of the
Hamher Cup series as defenseman Bob
Gilhooly blocks one of the Golden Bears
from going in to intercept the puck. Forwards Bob Geigrich  (bottom left corner)
and George Nagle (top left corner) stay
back ready for a fast break. Bears took
the series 8-7 but not until Birds had forced
the final game into a second overtime sudden death period.
Bowden's Kicking
Wins for California
By BRUCE ALLARDYCE
University of California Golden Bears repulsed UBC
Thunderbirds 15-0 Saturday in the initial game of the World
Cup rugger series at Memorial Stadium in Berkeley.
Although   outplayed   territor- f   ; ;      -     "    ;
iallv,  the  Bears  employed   thei™1^  <>»*   re«ular   foi'ward   on
kicking   ability   of   both   Noeljhand'
Bowden and Allan Schmeiser , Kats were at their strongest
to great advantage. Bowden, a ; for the contest, as the nucleus
native of Auckland, New Zea- j of their first division XV step-
land, accounted for nine of the ] ped down to second, as only
Bears' 15 points as lie kicked : six members of the team were
two penalty goals and a field
goal.
Mount Pleasant Ends
Varsity Soccer Streak
By    TED    TREVOR-SMITH and   Sivert   Eriek.-on   wore   the
Varsity soccer team sufl'on d  il, "nI>'   briglil   .pop,   m   the   g-'iier-
f:rst   dofea.t   of   tla:   season   last ally     ineffective     Bird     lineup
Saturday al Trimble Bark. They s,,,,,y ]las  n.llim(.r|   p, hi,, r;irlv
Captain and fullback Schmeiser also booted a field goal,
from 40 yards out.
6-0 AT HALF
The invading Birds were on
the short end of a 6-0 score at
the half, and twice in thc game
came very close to scoring.
Bears' coach Miles Hudson
praised his squad for keeping
constant prcs.-uro on thc Varsity
backline, which was not too
much of an accomplishment on
the pint-sized field. UBC mentor
Albert Laithwailo blamed the
loss on mistakes but said Tor!
Hunt, played an excellent game.
Varsity suffered' no less than
three injuries in the fray, with
Dorek Valiis, Dirk Mcintosh
and I\ogor KronquLI all hurt.
in  action with the ail-star Nor-
wests squad.
lost   4-0   to   Mount   Pleasant   Le
reason   form   and   i.s   no   longe
gion in a First Division Mainland contest. The Birds had run I'1;'*111''-1 ■'>' 1lis b^'k '""Jmy.
up a twelve game unbeaten Erickson made his- first appear-
streak   previous   to  this  lorn. anoo   (if  the   season   and  played
The loss can't be altrikufod to {»xtremelv well,
any single cause. Tin- Birds had
Swim Team
Comes Last
By BRUCE ALLARDYCE
Eastern Washington swept a
three-way Evergreen Conference
swim meet from Western Washington and UBC in Cheney Saturday night, racking up 131
points to Western's 73 and UBC's
71.
Varsity captured three first
places, as Doug Kilburn won the
100 and 200 yard backstroke,
then teamed with Gerry van
Tets and Dan Francis to nab
down   top spot in the 300 yard
The Cal XV -purled their us- mvAliV rylay-
mil array of power iu the for- A new Conference record ef
wards with the lil.es of Don Gib 2:fi0:4 was established in the
key. bbbi lbs: Frank Matl.arucci. 200 yard bronststroke when Lor
:l2i> lbs: Al Wiley. 210 lbs; mid ensou of Western Washington de-
so on down the htm thai v. ill j hailed former holder Got ry \ ar
make il hard for the Birds to j Tets. Divot's Km Dool. n and
pile up hi-; scores that will be j Him Francis were ousted from
iieee-'-'.iry mr them lo remain : fil'-sl and second places for the
in co, teelioii |or tho lota! point : ''''^ lim(-' lh>- reason by a duo
World Cup ei mpetllion. from   Kastern   Washington,   who
The fur,! two games of Hum fori-vd D""lan :!,!tl Francis to
seri.-s vmM b«- pi ,.w-d al UBC on ! s,,,p c!"nvn 1o 1,1"'(l i,nd /ourlh
'\laich    '''  and  " 1 ; The only ol her \m r.-i(\  swimmer
, pku'ing   was   Denis   Fieldwalker
BRAVES WIN j "'ho   finished   third   in   the   21)0
i\T , -,    ■    v ,   ,, „   freestyle.
Meanwhile m Vancouver, trie:
Br.ives wain their second straight |      This was the last   meet of the
Carmichael Cup start by defeat- season  for  the  Bird   team,   who
ing  Kals  iit)  .d  Balaclava   Park look  forward lo bigger and bet-
Saturday. ,'Iiilm  !,i">g scored  tlm ter    things    next    year.    Coach
lone   ivy   late   m   the   game   on Peter Luszlig w ill lose only one
a   HO   yard   run.   Braves   wrrr swimuicr    through    graduation,
j weakened   by   the   loss   of   six and hopes to have the seven men
I players who are with the Varsity who were declared ineligible this
I as spares in California, and had   year, back for next season.
Grass Hockey
Suffers Loss
Varsity grass hockey team
dropped their first Lower Main*
land Men's League game in over
a year Saturday, bowing to
North Shore 1-0.
North Shore captain Jeff Hart
scored the only counter on one
of only three shots the team
had on the Varsity goal all afternoon. Varsity rained 20 shots
on their opponents goal without
success.
The UBC team also lost on tha
week-end by dropping a 3-1 de*
cision to Cardinals. Harvey Bor«
den scored the only UBC goal.
The results left UBC in first
place in the league, one point
ahead of Varsity and Cardinals.
However, Varsity has thre*
games in hand over both UBC
and Cards.
BE THERE, MEN
Taking office with a bang,
Men's Athletic Association president Tom Toynbee has called a
meeting of the MAA this Wed*
nesday in Room 210 of ihe men's
gym for the purpos* of electing
the MAA secretary. To ensur*
a good turnout lo welcome him,
Toynbee will levy a $2.50 fin«
on the budgets of all clubs not
represented.
MA
EYES EXAMINED
J. J. Abramson
I. F. Hollenberg
Optometrists
Vancouver Block
,   09^8 MA.   2948
.<?
Sunday, die tired Birds moved
lo Ambleside Bark and relumed
one of those days when nothing
would go right for ihem. Their
ii-ually effective forward line <" tlu-ir leual form, defeating
van shut out for the first lane Merlh Van. Colbcs 1-0 in a I'ro-
llus season mainly due to the ' vincial Cup replay. Thc win
brilliant not-minding of Legion's moves the UBC men to the semi-
goalie, final round of the Provincial
Frank   Sealy,   Clive   Hughes, i Cup.
MIKE GLASPIE-^SPORTS EDITOR THE UBYSSEY -Tr^v^
Tuesday, March 6, 1956
8
Artsbyssey Invaded
By Science Ravings
Editor's note:—We would like
to talk to the author of this,
what erer this may be. Our
reasons are:
1. To find out who he is.
2. To find out if this is:
(a) fact ,or
(b) horrible thoughts of
what may well be one
day.
3. lo find out if he  wants to
sign up with the Artsbyssey.
Last week many Engineers
were seen to be avidly reading
a pamphlet called "The Turbo-
Encabulator in Industry" published by the venerable Cambridge Muss . TJ.S. & A. firm of
Arthur D. Little.  Inc."
The Turbo-Eneabuliitor is. according to tlie pamphlet the UN
SOPHISTICATED Artsman enjoys cultured company.
Arty Gerald F. H. A. Gilbert, aware ol the finer things
in life, knows that blued jeans. T shirt, T square, and vulgar red shirt do not attract refined women.
---Photo   bv   Henrv   Clvrnev
BOARD MEETING
Ubyssey Editorial board meeting will be held noon today  in
offices of the Publications board.
Board  members  are  invited  to
| the board meeting. Please come.
chine which perfects the crudely
conceived idea of a device "that
would not only supply the inverse reactive current for use
in unilateral phase detractors,
but would also be capable of
'automatically synchronizing cardinal graniinettors."
"The Turbo-Eneabulator in In-
chistr\" describes thc triumph
of modern engineering as having "forty-one manosthetieally-
ypaced grouting brushes" which
are arranged to "feed into the
rotor slip stream a mixture ol
high S-value phenylhyrobenza-
niine and a1'- reminative tetry-
liodohexamine."
! '-Undoubtedly the Turbo- En-
caliuhitor has now reached a
very   high    level   of   technical
(development. It has been successfully used for operating no-
fer trunnions. In addition, whenever a barcscent skor motion
is required, it may be employed
in conjunction with a drawn reciprocating dingle arm to reduce sinusoidal repleneration."
Food for thought in the pamphlets concluding statements.
Clarified
NOTICES
Expert  typing.   Reasonable
rates.   Joyce   Lock hart.   AL.
8:174-1,. 5570 Toronto Road.
FOUND
Some  money  found  on  Cam*
pus. Phone KE. 0620-R.
Room   and   Board—$67.50.   2
large rooms available immediately.  Phone  CH. 9071.
LOST
Parker 51 pen on Fri., March
2nd. The colour of dried  blood
with   my   name   inside.   Please
phone Mike: AL. 2134-R.
FOR SALE
For sale—One Boehm System
Clarinet. A humme dingger, was
'twice blown by Thelonius Monk
at the Haig. A swinging axe in
itll   respects.   Join   the   Varsity
.band. Phone TA. 4773, between
C and 7.
FOUND
Found -— Sheaifer's fountain
pen.    Phone   Doug   Faris,   AL.
0051.
WANTED
S p a n i s h   coaching   lessons.
AL.   0570-R,   after
Phone   Bob,
6:00.
Board   an
home.    Male
Room   in   private
student(s).   Phone
CH. 7864  after 4  p.m.
PROPHET  PREDICTS
Man Mere Vassal
As Women Take Over
^Von¥&ag (f outturn^
INCORPORATED  2??   MAY   1670.
By  TED  NICHOLSON
Slowly and systematically man
is being ousted from his role
of patriarch and breadwinner.
Rampant females everywhere
are insinuating themselves into
sacred masculine precincts. Here
on the campus, the vanguard of
Ihe new dispensation. Intellectual Woman, openly exhorting
her sisters to forsake home and
Janiily for vaunted independence.
Those cornerstones of mule
society, his Arts and Sciences
are being steadily infiltrated.
The trend is accelerating: man
becoming the vassal. - woman
the  master.
"Don't lose hope!" cry the op
limists. Never, they feel, can
woman totally usurp man. No
matter   how   greatly   the   roles
'are   reversed,   woman   will  still
require man a.s an awkward but
i essential adjunct to procreation.
ULTIMATE  EMANCIPATION
This is no longer true. Science with. The method does of course,
has thoughtfully provided the revoke Mendelian Law. Chromo-
means for Woman's ultimate sones are no longer a factor,
emancipation. Now a judicious The offspring, invariably tense of dry ice in tho matrix can male, develoo into carbon copies
take the place of natural con- of tho parent like mother, like
eeption. Bos'dc this discovery daughter to the umpteenth gon-
ihe socio-eulliiral implications ot oration. Beauties and horrors retire the wheel, gunpowder or east from the same fleshly mold
contraceptives pale, to insignil'i- throughout eternity. An incrod-
canee. ible   world,    but.   says   science,
Man as a sex can bo dispensed ' by no mean-; an impossible one.
KNELL OF  MALE
The process, once established
will prove tho knell of the male.
Man, not only denied his earliest and most snored privilege,
but by the same token, no lorig-
er able to dream of a son to
car:.\ his good name into pos-
teri.y. will become disheartened
snd. broken in spirit, quickly
fade awa.\ .
Huxley's "Brave New World"
would bo realized. Stop by step
Ihe conquest will cu'itinue until
total nialriarchv is established
Parenthetically, such a state '
could lead to unique modification.- For example parliament
would have to pror-oguo while
the Prime Minister or her cabinet went udo confinement. (Unless a more anarchistic government developed where those
holding   public  office   would   be
spared    the    nuisance    of   cbild-
bearingi.
As Shaw so cleverly pointed .
out Woman knows instinctively
thai far back in the evolutionary
process she differentiated man
from herself to Viet lor fulfill in
a bisexual form the mysterious
,e in of Nat ure
Apparently  this aim has been
accomplished.   The   evolutionary
spiral   lias   returned   I'ull   circle '
to   its   stinting   point   and   man,
a   helpless  pawn   in   the  cosmic :
game   of   evolution,   unwitting-.,
ly   provided   the  means   for  lii» ■'
own   extermination. j
The   tiino   will   soon    arrive
when man. proud man, stripped ;
of his little brief authority  will [
become  a futile, dwindling minority doomed to early extinction ,
in a world rulercl bv  women. ',
These Hats Keep
Their Flattering Shapes
Rain or Shine!
Your perfect hat for Vancouver's sometimes showery springs—Everitt's stylish
Sunwovens. of a wonderful nylon that
won't lose its shape even after a rain
storm, yet stretches to fit your head
exactly. The styles are the very latest
for spring -—. coolies, cloches, planters,
berets and so many others we can't beyin
to mention  them all.
Here are the fresh, fashionable colours
you have to choose from: Avocado, red,
black, white, they. bei,ge. pink, kelly and
ice  blue.
Priced  at  only
4.98,5.98,6.98
Match yours with a Spunwoven hand
b;.;" m ill I the same colors.
I1UC  Dress Accessories
ov<
>vo
a\-
bv ENtfOT
^UU^ifoC

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