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The Ubyssey Mar 15, 1923

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 Issued Weekly by the Publications Board of the University of British Columbia
Volume V.
VANCOUVER, B. C, MAR. 15, 1923
No. 19
JACK GRANT
IS ELECTED
PRESIDENT
In Largest Vote Ever Polled In
University Students
Declare Choice
The closet election which has ever
been held in the University of B. C.
gave presidential honors for 1923-1924
to Jack Grant by a majority of 19
votes, out of a total vote of 860.
Jack Grant, the elected president of
the Alma Mater, attended Public
School in Victoria, and also took his
first two years High School in the
Capital City. In 1920 he matriculated
from the King George High School,
and entered the B. C. University.
Since entering the University Jack
has always taken an important part
in student activities. In his Freshman
year he was a member of the executive, and a Ubyssey reporter. In 1921
he was elected president of Arts '24,
and in 1922 vice-president of the Men's
Undergrad  Society.
While president of his year, Jack
Grant led the debating team of the
U. B. C. against the Reed College team
of Portland, Oregon. Moreover, he
originated the idea of the "Campaign"
for the new University, and as campaign manager enlisted the enthusiastic support of the student body. As
leader of S. C. M. delegation, he attended the first National Canadian
Student Conference at Toronto. He
is also a member of the Historical
Society.
Undoubtedly the students of the
U. B. C. feel that their confidence in
their new president is well placed.
He has proved himself to be reliable,
earnest, sincere, and a hard worker.
At local meetings, before the assembly
in Victoria, and also at Cloverdale he
has   shown  his   ability  as  a  speaker.
Surely under the direction of its
new president our Alma Mater will
again enjoy a most  successful year.
VARSITY FIRST DIVISION SOCCER TEAM
To Play Veterans Saturday Afternoon   at   Athletic   Park.
SHAVIAN
THEORIES
PRESENTED
Reception Accorded Spring Play
Justifies Ambitious
Undertaking
The Week's Events
Thursday—Vancouver Institute Lee- j
ture. "The Destruction of Law by j
Legislation."    E. C. Mayers, Esq.       |
Sunday, 4 p.m.—S. C. M. Study Group
at the home of Gerald Kerr, 1947
Union St. \
Saturday—Final Mainland Cup Game, j
Athletic Park, 2.30, Varsity vs. Vet-:
erans.
Monday—Men's Lit. Debate, Auditorium, 8 p.m. Agriculture vs.
Science. Election for Secretary and
Treasurer, A. M. S.
Tuesday—Letters Club at home of Dr.
Sedgewick,  1212  Trutch  St.
Wednesday—Track Meet. Brockton
Point. Swimming Meet, Canadian
Memorial Church, 8 p.m.
Thursday—Vancouver Institute Lecture. "Mining Experiences In Many
Lands."    W.  C. Nichol.
Well-rilled houses, and enthusiastic
and appreciative audiences greeted the
initial performances of "You Never
Can Tell" presented on Monday and
Tuesday nights at the Orpheum
Theatre.
Careful direction and conscientious
rehearsing left nothing amiss in the
performances. The acting was far
from amateurish, and the characters
well portrayed, the cast entering into
their respective parts with much interest and intelligence.
The play itself, however, did not
measure up to the standard which has
been' set in former years. The first
two acts gave promise of many interesting incidents and complications,
but the last two were inclined to drag,
being very long and drawn out; and,
the solution arrived at was not wholly
satisfactory. These deficiencies were
in a great part covered by the clever
acting of the characters. and the
breezy comedy furnished by the twins.
Mrs. Clandon, the mother, was well
portrayed by Beatrice Johnson and although advanced in ideas, was rather
old-fashioned in her mode of dress.
Betty Somerset as "Gloria" was
charming, she captivated her audience
not only with her own delightful personality but with the skill with which
she portrayed the modern girl and
her truly feminine caprices.
The Twins, Dolly and Phil, played
by Beth McLennan and Fraser Lister
were irresistible. Their carefree and
yet 'whole-hearted interpretation of
their roles gave the audience much to
laud and admire.
(Continued on Page 2.)
U.B.C. WINS
HERE AND AT
CALIFORNIA
Close  Debate  on  Ruhr  Question
Marked Achievement For
This University
Over 1500 persons heard the debate
in Berkeley and when the ballots were
counted the B. C. men were awarded
(he decision by only 26 votes. Lome
Morgan and Walter Hodgson spoke
with the two best speakers in the
southern college, M. C. Dempster and
S. W. Gardiner. Both of these men
have won the highest awards in the
University of California for debating.
At home the contest was closer than
the ballot vote indicated. A. E. Grauer
and Harry Cassidy received 443 supporters and A. E. Murphy and W. Witkin  261.
Murphy and Grauer were generally
considered the better speakers and
the rebutals of these men were exceptionally good.
The subject debated both here and
away was: Resolved that France was
justified in her occupation of the Ruhr
Valley. The teams at home upheld
the affirmative.
Grauer opened the attack here
speaking on the moral side of the
question. He pointed out that although France was a victor her people
must pay more reparations than the
Germans. He said that if the U. S.
had suffered in proportion to France
all the industries west to Pittsburg
would have been destroyed.
Mr. Witkin retaliated for the south
and claimed that France was attempting to ruin Germany commercially and
that she was abusing her occupation
of the Valley. She had taken the offensive step against the wishes of
the U. S. and Great Britain, he claimed.
(Continued on Page 4)
MAINLAND
CUP CAME
SATURDAY
Varsity Soccer Squad Will Meet
Vets, in Blue Ribbon
Game of Series
(By "The Soccerite")
( a Saturday at Athletic Park, followers of the round ball game will
see the blue ribbon event of the year.
On that day the fast-stepping Collegians will lock horns with the league
leading Veterans, and the outcome of
the struggle will decide the ownership  of  the   Mainland  Cup.
The Vets, on the season's play are
favorites. Should they, however, display the same form as they did
against Cedar Cottage last week the
result will be: "Another trophy at
Fairview." On the other hand Varsity's mediocre display at Moody
Equare two weeks ago disappointed
the supporters of the Collegians and
made the Soldiers stronger favorites
than  ever.
The fact remains, however, that the
College eleven are a stronger cup
team than a league team. McLeod
will be on hand for the game, as also
will Jeff. Emery and the result is one
of the strongest forward lines in the
city. It must not be forgotten that
the Vets, have many excellent players.
Forgie their brilliant center-half is a
delight to watch, while Robinson's
work in goal compares favorably with
the best in the city, viz., Mosher, San-
ford of Sapperton and Gad of Cedar
Cottage. Adam Kerr, is also dangerous, while such plajyerst a)s Nairn,
Morgan and McDougal are well known
to all mainland football followers.
On the play of both teams during
the season \"The (Soccerite" favors
Varsity. Not only are the College
squad better cup-fighters, but they
have youth, fine condition and speed
in their favor. Added to that they
are fighting for the glory of their
Alma Mater. The Veterans are older
players, more experienced, perhaps,
but not so fast or so young. The outcome of the fight, even so, is problematical.
Allen, next to Craig, the peer of
city referees will handle the game.
He is well versed in its finer points,
and can be relied upon to check up
the players and give satisfaction to
all. A large crowd of students is expected to be on hand and the Park
management is expecting in all a
crowd of at least five thousand fans.
NOTICE
Interviewed on the matter of thefts
of books from the library, Mr. Ridington announced that, in view of the
fact that several valuable vohrmes
have been taken in the last few
months, the authorities would be under the necessity of restricting the
privileges of the honest 99% of the
Student Body, in order to prevent the
depredations of the dishonest 1%, unless some measure of student discipline could he enforced to put an end
to this despicable practice. THE    UBYSSEY
March 15th, 1923
THE VARSITY
CLOTHES SHOP
Spring Opening
15th, 16th, 17th of
March
0
Fashion  Craft
Good Clothes for
Men
Thos. Fosler & Co.
LIMITED
514  Granville   St.
ONE   STORE   ONLY
Big Shirt Sale
This Week
50 Dozen in Two Lots
1st Lot 2nd Lot
$2.45 Each $2.75 Each
These are worth much
More Money
Turpin Bros., Ltd.
Men's   Outfitters
629   Granville St.
Or at Your
Grocer's"'
^DISTINCTIVE
Engraved Calling Cards
Dance Invitations
Programmes
Place Cards
9
J. W. Gehrke Co.
LTD.
Engravers, Printers, Society Station***
661 SEYMOUR STREET
(A&oining Hudson's Bay)
"Dominants* through Exclusivsness"
A Chaperon for
the Chaperons
(By  the Voyageur)
Extracts From
Council's Policy
The president of the Freshman year
said that the Hike would fall hat if
there was no one to look after the
chaperones so he asked me to join
his class at West Vancouver. I went
because Miss Peck and Dr. Sedgewick  would  be there.
The weather looked doubtful as we
started out, but what a change there
was. We took the West Vancouver
Ferry and on arriving at the Metropolis found that it would be necessary to hike almost ten yards to the
dance hall. The giris parked the eats
in the kitchen and the men started to
prepare the piano and traps for the
music.
Russ. Palmer, the president, announced that we could hike for about
half an hour. Part of the orchestra
took some girls up the mountain and
being a good chaperon, I went with
the odd Freshette. Neither of these
was four feet wide. We waded
through mud for an hour and then returned.
At about three o'clock we started
to hike around the floor to pretty good
music. Kay was with us going over,
but Doc arrived late. It was arranged to smuggle him onto the stage and
when this was accomplished the curtain was raised and we gave a "sky
rocket for Doc."
Miss Peck thought the orchestra
was not very good so she decided to
play the traps. She made plenty of
noise even if it was not in time.
At five we had supper and although
I was not hungry I did not want to
see the cake go to waste. Neither did
Doc. for he ate more than Miss Peek
and that was a great feat.
We danced after supper until almost
seven when we took the ferries home.
Some of us finished up the day by
going to the basketball  games.
SHAVIAN PLAY
(Continued from Page 1)
Jack Clyne, as Valentine, possessed
much of his usual stage assurance and
showed a very keen conception of the
part. As a "duelist of sex" he cannot
be surpassed, but lacks much in
genuine "love-making."
Charlie Robson, had in Mr. Cramp-
ton one of the most difficult rOles.
Had he been, perhaps, a little more
convincing and thrown himself more
into the part he would have been more
appreciated.
As William, the waiter, Neil McCallum, was the most true-to-life character, revealing not only ability as
an actor but, as Phil would say "a
knowledge  of human  nature."
Percy Barr as McComas, the solicitor, played his part admirably, while
E. R. Chamberlain, though a little too
overpowering, ably took the part of
an eminent K. C." The part of the
maid was well sustained by Madge
Portsmouth.
Not only are the Director and cast
to be congratulated upon the well-
earned and much merited success, but
also the conveners and committees
who worked untiringly in order to better the production.
NOMINATIONS   FOR   SECRETARY
OF   THE   STUDENTS   COUNCIL
Miss  Helen  Turpin.
Miss Grace Smith.
Miss Lucy Ingram.
Miss Lillian Cowdell.
Student activities with the exception of scheduled athletic events will
cease three weeks previous to the
Spring'term examinations.
It will he the policy of the Student
Council to treat as breach of discipline.
1. Loitering and unnecessary noise
in the hallway.
:'. Talking or disturbance In the
Reading Room and breaking other Library regulations.
'■'>. Failure to report. '.-;> the Council
immediately damage don-i to any Fin
versity  property.
4.    It will be the policy of the Stud
ent Council to recommend for suspension  or  expulsion  any  one  who  commits   a   theft   anywhere   within   Fni-
versity premises.
Signs of silence will be posted in
the halls. It is up to the students to
see that they are observed for the remainder of the term.
Mr. Percy Barr has been elected
treasurer of the Students Council by
acclamation.
PLAYERS'   CLUB    POSTERS   SHOW
ARTISTIC TALENTS.
All University Students have an eye
for the artistic so no one can have
walked through the main hall and not
have noticed the array of posters that
the Players' Club tacked up. Each one
had a charm of its own and they all
showed that a great deal of time and
trouble had been expended in them.
The Players' Club wishes to thank
the artists for their kindness in doing
such splendid work so willingly. Those
to whom the Player's Club are indebted are:—Miss Margaret Lewis, Mr.
Allen Harris, Mr. E. Chapman. Also
Miss Helen Clark, Miss Virginia Spencer and Miss Jean Bloomfield who although not students were interested
enough to help us along.
DEBATES!
The F. B. C. was successful in the
inter-collegiate debates winning here
and abroad. The representatives who
went south returned early this week
and are receiving congratulations from
the student body. The home debaters
were A. E. Grauer and Harry Cassidy
and those in California were Lome
Morgan and Walter Hodgson.
Speaking of the debate in Berkeley
President Barrow of the University
of California stated that the debate
was the finest ever held in the University  of California.
FORGET   ME   NOT
Remember   me,   when   tides   of   light
returning
Have gilded all the sea;
And when the western sky is sad with
sunset
Remember me.
For we have shared the gold of dawn
together,
The blue delight of noon,
And all the crimson tragedy of sunset.
And silver of the moon.
We are  a part  of these.    The  days
that wait us
Are rich with things we knew.
In all  the loveliness  the years have
left us
I shall remember you.
COME   ONE,   COME   ALL.
Several sections of seats have been
reserved for the use of the students
who attend the soccer game on Saturday. These seats should all be filled
with students, determined to do their
part in helping our team win the
Mainland Cup.
Students  Loose  Leaf Books
and Supplies
Drawing  Sets,   etc.
<§?
THE VANCOUVER
STATIONERS, LTD.
Booksellers,   Stationers  and
Printers
Sey. 5119 683 Granvilla 8t
If-
■ ^ *
F
m o
iliS
Chocolates
Home-made
Candy
Ice  Cream  and
all   Fountain
Drinks.
(Afternoon
Teas)
We will be
pleased to give
special rates
for private
parties, special
classes, etc.
Vancouver's Young Men's
Store
Stylish Young
Men's Suits
A very large assortment of
Young Men's Suits just placed in stock comprising all
that is newest and up to date
in Young Men's Clothes.
Clubb & Stewart
Ltd.
623 Granville St.
309 Hastings St. W.
THE GREAT-WEST
Life Assurance Co.
Haul Office, Winnipeg, Manitoba
Result of Policy in Vancouver
A gentleman connected with
the Bank or Commerce in Vancouver, on Sept. 1st, 1908, had a
20 Payment Life policy issued
to him by The Great-West Life
Assurance  Co.
The quinquennial dividends
were accumulated to lessen the
number of  payments.
On Sept. 1st, 1922, fourteen
years from the date of the policy
it was fully paid up, and he received in cash $20.65.
It was really a 14 Payment
Life.
He will receive dividends on
this paid up policy as long as he
lives.
640 Hastings Street West
Vancouver Branch Office March 15th, 19*23
THE    UBYSSEY
J. W. Foster
Limited
TWO   STORES
Society   Brand   Clothes
Shop
Rogers Bldg., 450 Granville
Fit-Reform   Wardrobe
345 Hastings Street, West
Clothes for Young Men and Men
Who  Stay  Young
After You Graduate
Remember
THE
Mutual Life of Canada
Est. 1869
Strictly Canadian
Purely Mutual
Annual Dividends
Reducing: Premiums.
For Full Information Apply
WILLIAM J- TWISS
Manager
402 Pender St.  West
Vancouver, B. G.
Get a
VARSITY PENNANT
For  the
FOOTBALL   MATCHES
We have them in stock
SHAW & McCILL, LTD.
SPORTING GOODS
658   Robson   St.
8ervlce   Bldg.,  4   Doors   East  of
Granville  St
The Saver
It doesn't take a master of
mathematics lo "tig^or" that
$700 a month off the rent of
a shop ■will reduce the cost
of doing business.
Practical demonstrations
are going on now at 1020.
For instance a sports coat
that sells everywhere at $6.00
is $4.50. The' $9.00 grade is
$7.50 and 25e fishing spinners
are 20c.
Lisle Fraser
Sporting Goods
Wholesale and Retail
1020 Graville St.
look   It   Up   NOW
Varsity Defeats Elks
2-1 VICTORY IS RESULT OF BRILLIANT PLAYING
Presenting a rejuvenated eleven
against the dangerous North Shore
Elks, the Varsity on Saturday, took a
hard fought game from the antlered
crew   2-1.
The grounds at Athletic Park were
in good condition and at times fast
soccer was enjoyed. At other stages
of the game the teams battled on even
terms, yet when the Collegians exerted themselves their opponents were
unable  to hold them.
For the greater part of the first
half play was even. .Mosher was called upon to clear several times, and
responded well. Once, while the
goalie was returning to his nets after
clearing, Crute saved a fast shot with
his head, a spectacular bit of work
that brought the fans to their feet
in applause. A few minutes later
Crute accidently tripped one of the
Ellis in the penalty area, and the re-
suiting free shot by Ross gave Mosher
no chance. Varsity now pressed hard,
and Gunning made the best of an opportunity, and beat Turner for the
equalizer. The whistle for half-time
checked further play.
The second-half was fast and there
was not much to choose between the
teams. Twenty minutes elapsed before Cameron, fast and tricky, worked his way past three of the opposition and took a running center to Lun-
CUP STANDING
The result of tlie boxing tournament
made a material difference in the
standing of the various classes in the
race for the Governors' Cup. it
boostel Science '23 and Science '.!.">
into the lead. Each class is now
credited with .9 points.
On .Monday, at Heather Street, the
Frosh. were successful in defeating
the Aggies after a hard fought soccer
game, 2-1. This is the tnird ci.r.e the
teams have met to decide who was
the better team, and the result gives
'26, a chance to cop the series and
step  into the lead.
Next year, it is possible that Soccer
and Rugby will not be contested. The
series take up too much time, and unless they can be decided sooner it is
the wish of the powers that be that
they shall not be competed.
The standing of the various classes
at present is:
Science  '23      9      points
Scienc:'  '2.~>       9      poin's
Science   '24    S       points
Arts '2.3   8      points
Agriculture       7      points-
Arts   '26   5      points
Arts   '2:! ----- IVi points
Arts   '24       lVo  poiirs
Science '26    1      point
die. who headed the ball into the net
for Varsity's winning goal. It was one
or the neatest displays even seen on
local fields and earned rounds of applause.
The "Brother Bills" still pressed
and were dangerous at all times, but
were turned hack by the stubborn
defense of Crute, Baker and Mosher.
With two minutes to go "Big .Tim"
Wilson, far-famed center-half of the
JElks drove a jtrrific shot towards
Mosher. The elongated Collegian crossed the goal mouth with two steps,
and cleared. It was a wonderful she:,
and a wonderful save. The whistle
found both teams fighting hard and
play   in   mid-field.
For the Elks, Dick Williams. Wilson
and Wright worked hard and were
sources of constant trouble to the
Collegians. For Varsity, Baker, Crute,
Phillips and Mosher played steady
games. Mosher's saves were at
times, spectacular and brilliant, while
Crute was always reliable and played
a heady game.
The team—Varsity : Mosher, Crute,
Baker, Buckley, Phillips, Say, Comer-
011,  Gunning.  Lundie, Jackson, Deans.
Elks: Turner, Main, Blundell, Williams, Wilson, May, Newbury, Rorty,
Ross,   Smith.  Wright.
Referee:   Allen.
the sprints will fall, nevertheless there
will be more competition in the sprint
events than last year, as v as evidenced in yesterday's eliminations. George
Goulding, the World's Champion waiK-
er, has shown great interest in our
track men and has put several of
them   through   their  paces.
The Track executive has an invitation from the University of Washington to compete with their Fresh
men either here or at Washington 111
the near future. Washington's standard is very high and if Varsity is to
compete even with a Freshman team
some rigid training will have to ue
done.
One of the new features of the
Track Meet will be the Javelin, which
is popular in the British and United
States Universities. Added to this attraction is that of the Women's Interclass Relay. All lectures will be cancelled   on   the   afternoon  of   the   21st,
TRACK  PROSPECTS
The eliminations for the Varsity
Track Meet were held yesterday and
the stage is now set for the biggest
track event of the year at Brockton
Point next Wednesday, at 1.30. From
the ai lount of material lined up in
some of the events the competition
should be of a high order and the
spectators will find much cause for
enthusiasm.
From present indications a lot of
records will go by the board this year;
this should be particularly true in the
case of the distance events. The
standards of our milers and three-mil-
ers have gone up considerably since
last year. Although it is unlikely that
any of Garrett Livingston's records in
TRACK    ANNOUNCEMENT.
The University Track Meet will
commence at 1.30 p.m. Wednesday.
The Track executive have gone to
considerable trouble and to a little expense. To defray the expenditure an
admission of i»."> cents will be charged
and printed programs with the order
of events, record holders and times
will be issued free at the gate. Everybody at Varsity should be there as it
will be the best meet yet, the list of
events in order of running are as follows:— 120 yard hurdles, 12-lb. shot,
100 yards, discus, half mile, 220 yards,
high jump, javelin, 440 yards, pole
vault, 220 relay, girls relay, 1 mile,
hop step and jump, broad jump, three
mile open.
SWIMMING  MEET.
Vancouver Amateur Swimming Club
vs. Varsity is the big event of the
year for the swimming club. The individual shield, won last year by Celmer Ross, is again up for competition.
The team is the same as for the last
meet. Date, March 21st, 8 p.m. at Canadian Memorial Church.
The Athletes' Friend
If you are interested in
sports—come in and have a
talk with Geo. H. Goulding,
successful Rugby, Hockey,
Swimming, Soccer and Track
and Field Coach.
GEORGE GOULDING
Sporting   Goods   and   Bicycle
Dealer
829 Pender St. W.
Madge Evans Hats
for Little Ladies
Mothers who have found it difficult to secure hats that are truly
lieoomin^ to small or grown-up
daughters will find Madge Evans
models particularly to their liking.
The makers of Madge Evans'
creations devote their entire time
10 the designing and making of
hats for the younger fok. Their
styles are different to others, being more dashing in their simplicity and more in keeping with
what   younger   people   wear.
"We have a large assortment of
Madge Evans hats here now for all
ages from 1 to 14 years. Both
mothers and daughters will like
them.
Drysdale's  Junior Shop,
Second Floor
876  Granville   St.
SEYMOUR   3540
fc>
flMntinc*
Invitations
Dance   Programs
School Annuals
Magazines
<xft>
•0*
Lionel Ward & Co. Ltd.
PRINTERS
Phone Sey. 195
3i8HomerSt.     :    Vancouver, B.C.
*t
BROADWAY TAXI
D.   A.   RITCHIE
Res. Bay. 2884-Y
Fair. 2762 2558 Heather St THE    UBYSSEY
March 15th,  1923
(Member   Pacific   iBtar-CoUegitte   Press
Association)
Issued   every   Thursday   by   the   Publications
Bpard   of  the  University  of   British  Columbia.
For   advertising   rate*,   apply   Advertising
Manager.
EDITORIAL   STAFF:
Editor-in-Chief H.  M.  Cassidy i
Senior   Editor A.   G.   Bruun
Associate  Editors Mitis P.  I.   Mackay
C. C. Upshall i
Eric.   W.   Jackson
Feature    Editor Cliff   Dowling
Literary   Editor Miss  Lucy   Ingram
Exchange  Editor Mias Helen Turpin
Sporting   Editor H.   B.   Cantelon
Chief Reporter A. A. Drennan
Feature Writers J. C.  Nelson
REPORTORIAL   STAFF:
R. A. McLachlan.    Eve   Eveleigh,        K.   Schell,
Jean  Faulkner, Grace Hope
L.     Buckley.    H.     B.    Goult. H. E. F. OUrk
A. Hugo Ray.
BUSINESS   STAFF:
Business  Manager   C.  S.   Evans
Assist.   Business  Manager G.  F.   Hagelstein
Advertising  Manager R.   E.  Walker
Circulation Manager  F. J. Brand
Business   Assistants  H.  O. Arkley
T. J. Keenan
Editor for the  Week..
C. C. Upshall
THE   PRESIDENT-ELECT.
The Student Body has spoken. The
President of the Alma Mater for 1923-
24 has been elected. It is now our
privilege to congratulate the President-elect, and whole-heartedly we do
so.
Mr. Grant is well acquainted with
the work of the Council. He has won
the confidence of the students as manager of the Campaign Committee, leading delegate to the Toronto Conference, a proven speaker, a past president of his class, and an international
debater. Surely with such a leader
the University can look forward confidently to the coming year.
WE, THE  PLUTOCRATS.
It is most unfortunate that the University fees Should be raised by
twenty-five to fifty dollars. The additional expense is bad enough for those
who are paying their own way
through college; it means the savings
of a week of a fortnight. It is a hard-
Ship upon the men, and an even
heavier burden upon the girl who is
trying to earn the money for her college course. Moreover, this University, unlike some institutions with
equal or higher fees, has no solution
of the cost of a student's board and
lodging. As an attempt to raise
money for University expenditure, it
can be of very little use, especially
as an increase in fees is bound to
keep away certain students. If the
number of students is too great for
our present income, surely the best
way to reduce it would be by raising
the existing standards of matriculation; this would at least prevent financial status being the only basis of
judgment.
Unfortunately, this is not the worst.
There is a far too prevalent tendency
to forget that a college man or woman
is making heavy personal sacrifices
by his or her compulsory withdrawal
from gainful occupation. During the
thirty months of the B. A. course, one
could earn anywhere from $2,000 to
$4 000, instead of making nothing and
spending one's savings on college fees.
"The University is a rich man's
place." Not yet, but is looks as
though those who utter such opinions
were trying to justify their own assertion.
THE OXFORD SYSTEM.
Students of this University had an
opportunity last Thursday night of
judging a debate, and also of judging
a system of judging a debate. The
innovation of deciding the winning
team by means of a vote from the
audience in preference to the established method which provides for a
committee of judges, appears to us to
involve a certain re-adjustment in the
debaters' technique. For it is obvious
that the style of plea which will move, j
and the logic which will convince
trained judges, will not necessarily
have the same effect upon student
audiences however intelligent. i
Two great advantages the Oxford
system may claim. It interests the
audience and it provides a means of
registering its response accurately.
But surely there is a danger that under this system there will be a tendency to stress dramatics at the expense of logic, and to exploit the
known prejudices of a group of people, instead of striving consciencious- |
ly to establish a genuine "case." i
THE   NATIVE WORKER.
I had tried to follow the minister,
and failed. I had tried to enjoy the
choir, with the same result. I pieced up the little card in front of me
and read, but I remember only these
words, "We contribute $25.00 a year
for the support of a Native "Worker
in Uganda." It was a very stimulating fact, I thought. Just think, that
means $2.08 a month for the Native
Worker, seven cents a day. Evidently Native Workers have not yet formed, a union. The walking delegate is
still a person unknown to them. That
is the worst of our civilization; we
never begin to organize until too late.
Seven cents a day! Rather pathetic.
I pictured the poor man, coming in
each night to report progress and to
get his seven cents from the timekeeper. I imagined him dressed in
European costume, discarded and uncongenial, for there is a lot of symbolism in clothes. I heard the voice
of his superior, "Mbwungwliu, have
you honestly earned your reward today?" I could hear his timid but conscientious reply. I could hear the
scratching of his pen as he signed his
receipt. Oh, yes, they'd make him
sign one. Everybody in this denomination   is  very  businesslike.
I put a nickel in the plate, and walked home in ecstasy. That would keep
the Native Worker going for several
hours. I was helping to spread culture and belated enlightenment in
Darkest Africa. I was a Force for
Good. In fact, I began to realize the
tremendous delight that the godly
can derive from a single nickel when
they part with it for a principle.
NANCY LEE.
U. B. C. WINS
(Continued from Page 1)
Harry Cassidy took up the train of
events and showed that by the treaty
of Versailles France was justified.
Germany does not want to pay the
reparations, was his claim. "Force,"
he said, "is the only argument that
Germany understands."
Perhaps the best oratory was delivered by A. E. Murphy. He claimed
that France must see that this occupation cannot bring a peaceful settlement. He stated that economically
the occupation was a failure. He
pointed out that Britain suggests that
Germany be given four years to recuperate and then if she fails to pay,
the Allies will sanction France's action and give her support.
ESTELLA  M. TULLY
Teacher of Piano
225  LEE  BLDG.
Corner  Broadway and  Main
Phone   Fairmont 3699-L
Have  Your Eyes Tes ted
by our  Graduated  Optician
All Testing. Grinding and Fitting
Glasses  are  Backed  by  the
Allan  Guarantee  of Absolute Satisfaction.
0. B. ALLAN, LTD.
THE HOUSE OF DIAMONDS
480-486 OrnnTille St. »t Pander
PRESIDENT ELECT'S  POLICY
At great peisonal jeopardy your reporter succeeded in obtaining the following interview with the Presidentelect of the Alma Mater.
"How will you deal with the giggling
girl menace?" we asked Mr. Grant.
"I shall summon guilty individuals
for a private interview in my Office,"
he stated.
"Do you believe in love at first
sight?"  was our next question.
"Emphatically, yes," responded the
choice of the Student Body. "I have
never been in love."
"Do you believe in women smoking?" we next inquired.
"No.   It's too expensive."
"One last question," we begged;
"What is your attitude on the liquor
question?"
His reply was indistinct, hut we
gathered that "it was a matter, for the
jug."
By the Way
Prolonged whistling, baseball slang
and a professor's voice make an inharmonious melody.
We suggest that some of the proceeds of the Arts '23 Valedictory Gift
be utilized 1o replace the raura! decorations of the Dugout.
Notice:—The spring exodus of library books has commenced.
/-      417 Hastings Street West
J. N. Harvey
Sells Good Clothes
Now showing the very Newest
Spring Models in Men's and
Young Men's Suits.
Just at present we are Specializing in several hundred extremely fine suits made for a
textile display in Montreal.
These Suits represent Style and
Quality to the 20th degree.
Call and see them.
J.n.narvey, Ltd.
417    Hastings   Street   West    417
Also  614  Yates  Street,  Victoria
___look for the Bigf Bed Arrow J
See the
Doctor of Pens
Fountain   Pen     and   Eversharp
Pencil   Service   Station
Complete    line   of   Dennison's
Merchandise and  Crepe  Paper
Students' Loose Leaf Books
Drawing   Instruments,   Etc.
Mitchell-Foley, Ltd.
Printers  and  Stationers
Sey.  1085      129  Hastings St. W.
PHOTOGRAPHY
The kind of Portraits that you
and your friends will appreciate.
We make them at most reasonable prices.
Broadway Studio
BROADWAY  AND   MAIN
Phone   Fairmont  3831
N.B.—Save   25%   by   letting   us
do   your   films.
ANGELL ENGRAVING CO.!
The Palm Garden
Fruit, Confectionery,
Ice Cream and
Tobacco
Hot Lunches Served also
Afternoon Tea.    -      «**
Phone Fair. 377
Cor. 10th and Heather St.
DR.
H. WOOD
Dentist
&
215
LEE   BLDG.
Corner  M
ain  and  Broadway
Phone
Fairmont  1581
Discount to
University Students
Wre beg to announce our formal opening on Thursday, Mar.
15th.
Showing fashions, latest approved modes in ready to wear
and accessories.
566   QRANVM.LE   6T. March 15th. 1923
THE    UBYSSEY
VANCOUVER'S
CO-OPERATIVE
SPRING
FASHION
DISPLAYS
Thursday,  Friday, Saturday,
March  15th,  16th, and  17th.
We take pleasure in extending to University students a cordial invitation to visit this store
during revue days, when the
style secrets for Spring and
Summer, as ascertained by our
buyers in their visits to the
World's fashion Centres, will be
disclosed in a yariety more comprehensive than ever before.
HUDSON'S BAY GOY.
Personel Correspondence
It is not necessary to point out
tne need for care in ones choice
of personal correspondence paper. We can only call to your
attention two papers of splenic! quality which may be had
from stationers everywhere at
very moderate  cost.
The next time you need paper
ask for
KENMARE   LINEN
OR
OUR    ENGLISH    PARCHMENT
VELLUM
Smith, Davidson k Wright
Manufacturers  of  Sohool  Supj>ll»«
Vancouver      - Tlotorta
BEFORE   THE    NEXT   DANCE
Have   Your   Suit   Cleaned   and
Pressed by
WM. TEMPLETON
101   Broadway  E., West of Main
Fairmont 1666-R
Evans & Hastings
BitterQuality
PRINTERS
We make a specialty of
College Annuals
Magazines
Ball Programmes
Etc., Etc.
Students   would do well to give
us a call before going elsewhere
578 Seymour St.    Phone Sey. 189
Correspondence
Th:s column is maintained for the use
of students and others who wish to express themselves on any topic of general interest. The Ubyssey does not assume responsibility for any of the views
expressed.
A   REPLY  TO   'SENIOR'
To   Senior,
Cjo   Ubyssey.
I >ear  Sir  or  Madam :—
Your letters in the Ubyssey of February 22nd and March l.st, whether
prompted by your liner sensibilities or
by the dearth of material in the correspondence column, were not in the
best of taste. The "imitations"' as you
so ably pointed out in last week's issue
were  also   "extremely   cheap,   etc.,   etc."
Your efforts, such as they are, deserve
some praise; but don't you thing that
destructive criticism, like lieas, should
be suppressed? It is so apt to become
chronic. If you must do something for
the good of your Alma Mater, I would
suggest that you start with inanimate
objects.
In conclusion, a prolonged stay, not a
visit, at a mining camp; a change of
diet or the purchase of a pair of rose
tinted spectacles might not only benefit you, Dear Sir or Madam, but also
your   Alma   Mater   and
Yours truly,
THE   REST   OF   US.
AN   EXPLANATION
U.  B.  C,  March,   1923.
Editor   Ubyssey.
Dear   Sir:—
It v/as with much disgust that I read
a letter in last week's Ubyssey written
by one who signs himself "Amused." If
the gentleman would kindly investigate
before passing his opinion on the Senior
girl, ne would probably find that his
criticism was altogether  unjust.
As it happened, I was the lirst Senior
girl in the line-up. and after seeing the
surrounding gentlemen accepting tickets
from their friends to exchange, I considered that I was quite at liberty to
give tip my place to a Senior who came
late a:id who had the morning off.
I notice that "Amused" or rather
"Abused" failed to make any comments
on the unsportsmanlike act of some of
the gentlemen in collecting over a hundred tickets to exchange, but rather confines lis attacks to the ladies of the college.
"A  SENIOR."
Editor  "Ubyssey,"
Dear  Sir:—
It is with compassion that I desist
from my hilarity to pity those poor,
morbid creatures who ilay with such
asperity our supposedly perverted sense
of humor. With due reverence to God,
I venture to suggest that here, indeed,
is a deplorable case of the inad"<|uaey
of the human body. Had these purblind
beings the power of turning their fixed
gaze backward, then would they be justified in despairing of the nothingness,
the emptiness of the University-trained
mind. It is said of horses, asses, and
others, one may take them to water, but
one cannot make them drink. How much,
oh, how much! is this evidenced by the
Ancient Mariner cry of the last few
days. '.Pardon me for here indulging in
a quie: chuckle at the expense of these
mock reformers who clasp their hands
and sigh "Pass the champagne; fill the
cup of laughter with a wholesome beverage or let me die.") "Were there such
a dearth of humorous incident around
our aromatic, kalsomined. beerowded
corridors as their heart-rending cries
suggest, one might weep indeed. However, their very wailings are a refreshing p£.rt of the abundant merriment
which goes to him who seeks. Might 1
venture to suggest at the expense of
losing these droll jokers that they imitate
Mohammed—let them go to the mountain o:: wit and partake of the lresh
vintage; rather than cry for the bottled
frothings which others have gleaned.
Should they find anything wholesome in
their search (THEY will need practice),
let  them  pass  it  on.
Again, if it so he that our college
humor is in need of reformation, the
surest way to accomplish it would be
to devise new vehicles for joy rather
than hack the old. A tiny drop of clean
water is better than a lucket of rr.ud.
Let me recall an incident of this murky
charity: When a certain lamented performance was first broached an earnest appeal was made for help. Tho response was a croaking from our morbid element after tire work had failed.
Here was charity indefd. As usual,
the eleventh-hour improvising was left
to the men who have been cursed with
executive   positions.
Hoping against hope that these misguided, puny castigators will realize
that a helping hand "before" is much
better than a muddy boot "after", I remain.
Yours   respectfully,
J. W.  B.  Shore.
BOXING FINALS STAGED
Except for half a dozen cauliflower
ears, three dislocated teeth, five badly flattened noses and the loss of three
and a half quarts of royal gore the
boxing tournament this year was completed without serious mishap. In
the comparatively peaceful surroundings of St. George's Church Gym. eliminations have been conducted for the
past three weeks and the finals were
staged last Thursday night, before a
large and enthusiastic crowd of Varsity fight fans. After battling their
way successfully through the preliminaries and semi-finals the following
men copped the Championships:
Under 125—Ellis, Arts '23.
Under 13i5—Demidoff,  Science  '25.
Under 145—Cameron, Science '23.
Under 155—Davidson, Science '25.
Under 165—Hislop, Arts '24.
Over  165.—Rae, Science  '23.
Latent Talent Brought Out.
Several boys of outstanding ability
as leather pushers were brought to
light in the course of the eliminations
and although losing out in the finals
certainly showed great promise.
Noticeable among these men was
Morris, who, with McLaughlin in the
semi-finals put up one of the best
bouts seen in this Year's series, wining against his hard hitting antagonist by a combination of grit, condition
and science. He lost to Rex Cameron
however, in the finals.
Owing to injuries received in his
bout the previous week Si McLane was
unable to appear in the finals, scratching to Davidson. In the semi-finals
McLane displayed a wealth of class
and although completely done up at
the end of the bout won his fight. He
was considered by many the favorite
for the finals. Pug Greggor in the
heavyweight class was also unable to
appear in the finals owing to injuries
received to his right hand in the last
McKechnie Cup game. The heavyweight championship therefore went
to Doug Rae by default. Many of the
fans were keenly disappointed as this
fight promised to be one of the best
this year.
Hislop seemed to be going stronger
than ever and won from Harry Gunning after four rounds of furious milling in the finals. Gunning was one
of the prettiest boxers seen in the Varsity ring this year. Fulton, the white
hope of the Farmers, although eliminated in the first round of the eliminations put up a great fight against
Pug Greggor and lost only after the
fight had gone 5 rounds. Archie McVittie, Ellis, Pete Demidoff, and a
whole raft of other boys deserve great
credit for supplying some excellent
entertainment.
Too much credit cannot be given to
the Church choir which with the able
assistance of the organ supplied soft
music in the closing hours of the
finals.
SONNETTE.
You gave me a long and lovely kiss;
Your very first, you said;
You   gave   me   a   trembling   hour   of
bliss;
And  new to you—you said;
I whispered you were wonderful;
I was tne first,—you said.
I'm   wondering   since,   was   that   all
Bull?
And were we kidding us?
Adapted by S. M.
N.B.—S  M. stands for SCIENCE MEN.
Are you Reading
The Sportsman?
Now on Sale—10c a Copy
The livest weekly on
general topics in "Western
Canada.
High-class writers giving
high-class opinions on the
things every thinker is interested in.
You do not have to be
concerned with footbaH
competitions to appreciate
The Sportsman
Get this week's copy—
you'll be glad to eultivat«
the habit.
The Sportsman
'' Frank—Fearlees—Fair''
Travellers
Sample Suits
ALL the latest Styles
for Young Men. On sale
at prices less than wholesale.
$18.75 to $31.50
■ I
■ ■
D. K. BOOK
LIMITED
U7
(Oyvostt*  Proviso*)
TAKE HER IN A OAR
DRIVE YOURSELF
Brandon Auto Livery
Cor.  Georgia and   Richards  8t».
Sey. 4777
Day and Night  Service
Oknautan Extension lintorsttn
69-73 FAIRFIELD BUILDING
445 Granville Street Vancouver, B.C.
Special Coaching for University Examinations
Mathematics, Latin, Greek, French, Spanish, Physic*,
Chemistry etc. THE    UBYSSEY
March 15th.   1923
JOSEPH BONNET
Great French  Organist
St. Andrews Church
Monday,   March   26th,   8.15   p.m.
Special  Students Tickets, 85c.
Including Tax
These   Include   AU   Seats   Except
Regular $2.20 Seats
GET ACQUAINTED
WITH OUR CLEANING
AND PRESSING
DEPARTMENT
Special Acquaintence
Society Rate   —   Club Rate
The
Parisienne Dry
CLEANERS AND DYERS
571 Broadway West
Phone Fair. 5223
Midway
Pharmacy
Cor. Broadway and  Heather St.
W. H. Caldwell, Pro*.
Phone Fair. 840
PRESCRIPTIONS A SPECIALTY
Exercise Books
Looseleaf Covers
and Refills
Waterman's Pens
Eversharp Peneils
ED. DA MOTTA
Hair Cutting a Specialty
Expert Attendant
3558 Heather St.
THE
CLARKE&STUART
Co., Ltd.
Wholesale   and   Commercial
Stationers—
Educational Stationery.
Students    Note    Books    in
Genuine   Leather   and   Tex-
hide Bindings—
Drawing Instruments and
Materials.
VANCOUVER, B. C.
550 Seymour St.
INTERESTING PROGRAMME
"Come along, Mandy, come along,
Sue" to the Spring Concert which -will
be given on Friday, March 23rd, in the
ballroom of the Hotel Vancouver with
Mr. Wilbur G. Grant as conductor.
The following is the programme: —
I. Salute   a   Pesth  Korvalski
< )rchestra
II. Lullaby   (from   the   "Havarian
Highlands")    Elgar
Glee   Clubs
1 IT.     JIazurka,   Op.   26 Zaiv.ycki
Mr.   Holroyd   I'aull
IV. UO   Cherry    Kipe      T.and
' Glee   Clubs
(b)   Blow.    Soft   Winds... Vincent
Women's  Chorus
V. Aria—Caro  Home     Verdi
( Risoletto)
.Miss   Lillian   Wilson
VI. Suite   .Melodiiiue     .Triml
(a) Tntermez/.o  	
(b) Oriental 	
(c) Love  Song  ..    	
(d) Valse    Lueile 	
Orchestra
VII. Souyenir  de   Moscou   .. .TVieniawski
Mr.   Holroyd   I'aull
VIII   (a)   My Lady's Lips am Like do
Money     Cook
(tO   Swing   Along   .  Cook
Glee   Clubs
IX. (a)   Fantasia   Impromptu   in   C
sharp   Minor     Chopin
(b)   Etude,   Op.   25.   Xo.   9 Chopin
Miss   Nellie   Harrison
X. Good-Night,   Good-Night,   Beloved
   .Pinsuti
Glee  Clubs
NI.   (a>   Xorwegian   Echo    Song....Thrane
GO   The   Unforseen       Cyril   Scott
{<■)   L'Ondine   du   Ilhin Weckerlin
Miss   Lillian   Wilson
XTL     Romance     ...  Grunfeld
Orchestra
XII L    Bridal Chorus (from "The Rose
Maiden")         Cowen
Glee  Clubs
ADDRESS   BY   MR.   NICHOLS
March 22—Mr. H. G. X
tinguished graduate of
School of Mines, London,
ber of the Institution of
Metallurgy will address
under the auspices of the
ber of Mines on "Mining
and  Experiences in  Many
ichols, a dis-
the Royal
and a mem-
Mining and
the Institute
B. C. Cham-
Impressions
Lands."
Mr. Nichol's mining experience has
taken him to all quarters of the
world, and the lecture will he abundantly illustrated by lantern slides
from his personal collection.
SPECIALTY  FOOTWEAR
.Hist as you propose to make
some well thought out plan, your
life work, so have we built from
a small beginning to success in
specialty shoes. Xo matter what
branch you follow you will find
Paris footwear will SHOE you
for  it.
Specialists in
Cruisers
Surveyors
Loggers  and  Farm   Hoots.
Ladies   Hiking* Boots  in  all
lie at hers
PIERRE PARIS
51 Hastings W.
Vancouver
Ptiont:   Fairmont 3.
T. J. Kearney & Co.
3Fwt*raI Btrertara
Private Ambulance Service
•«2   Broadway   W. VANCOUVER
I  sat in  the woods
By a pool
All the night
To gaze at a  star
Exceedingly bright
That filled the heart
Of the pool
With  light.
You came so gently
Over grass,
I did not even hear you pass,
I  felt the brush
Of  hair on  mine,
I saw the little pebble shine
The pebble you so lightly tossed
To water
Where my star was lost.
And   looking   up   with   startled   eye.
Beyond  you,
I beheld the  skies.
D. H. W.
SHIMMIR   GIVES   POPULAR   ADDRESS  TO   ENGINEERS.
Mr Shimmir of Burdock & Logan,
gave his second address to the Engineering Discussion Club on Tuesday
noon. His subject was "Credit and its
relation to the Promotion of Industrial Enterprise."
Taking the prospectus for a railway as an illustration, he clearly
showed the fallacy of estimating future  costs  by  present  market values.
A point of vital importance was the
study of the money market, as it indicates the trend of prices of the future.
Also, with rising prices, the purchasing power of money decreases, re-acts
on the market, and results in the fall
of long term bonds, which would affect the promotion of the enterprise.
As his subject is one which is not
dealt with in tlie Science Course the
address was of great interest to all
who were fortunate enough to hear
him.
TO   A   FRESHETTE.
Eyes of green,
Tawny hair.
Don't you  think,
Maiden  fair,
With  I hose eyes
And  hair like that,
You'd have made
A lovely cat?
NANCY  LEE.
VARSITY   BASKETBALL
Summary of Games  Played.
Varsity basketers were able to pull
off one win in the two games on last
week's schedule. The Senior A squad
defeated the Ex-Normal quintette 20-Ki,
while the Varsity Seconds lost to the
47th Battalion Adanacs 37-1S.
Men's Senior Game.
In the Varsity—Ex-Normal game,
Varsity came out winners mainly on
account of their superior shooting. Although the Ex's played an aggressive
game, replete with snappy combination, they had difficulty in netting the
ball. Varsity stepped into the lead
early in the nrst half, and although
close-pressed in the second, never lost
the lead. This game was the last of
the season for the Varsity Senior A
squad. The teams—Varsity: Bickle,
Bassett, Buchanan, Carlisle, Currie.
Ex-Normal: iBryson, Bruce, Fisher.
Woodcock, Meadows, Abercrombie.
Intermediate Game.
In their last game of the season,
the Adanacs defeated the Varsity Seconds :!7-lS. It was a close game all
the way, with Varsity fighting hard
for a win. After trailing their opponents by a few points for most of the
game. Varsity went to pieces in the
last few minutes, and Adanacs piled
up a big lead. Chic Hood of the Adanacs with 18 points led the scoring.
Varsity line-up: Gross, Porter, Harvie,
Boomer, Grauer.
WILLOW HALL
806   Seventeenth   Avenue   West
One Block West of Heather St.
Have you seen this new hall
for dancing and private parties?
We have accommodation for
two hundred dancers. It is like
a big "chateau" with beautiful
lounge room and open fire place,
card room, spring floor for dancing, fancy lighting effects, ladies'
and gents' dressing rooms, with
fully  equipped  kitchen.
It is for rent to clubs and
private parties at $15.00 per
night up to 12 p.m. One dollar
per hour after.
F.  S.  LOCKETT,  Proprietor
Phone   Fair.   77   or   Fair.   2885-R
A   NEW   PLACE  TO   EAT
Good meals served from 7:15
a.m.   to   10:30   p.m.
Sundays from 9  a.m.
University  Boys   welcome.
A full line of confectionery,
soft  drinks.
Matches FREE with smokes.
LEONARD'S
1469   BROADWAY   WEST
(Just Off Granville)
It's   Time   You   Had   Yours
Taken
Your   Photograph,   a   really
good one, by
F. L. Hacking
Leigh-Spencer   Building
553 Granville Street
LANGTRY
The Tailor
Suits $25.00 up,  to Measure
Overcoats, $25.00 up
318 Hastings St., W.
Union Label
"T\
Indoor and Outdoor
Athletic Equipment
Everything for
every sport, including sweaters,
jerseys, shoes, etc.
Catalogue sent on request
%?
of canada, ltd.
24 Hastings St. w.
I March 15th. 1923
THE    UBYSSEY
MUCK-A-MUCK
MucJa°a=Much Staff
Editor-in-Chief Mr.   Muck A.   Zip
Senior   Editor Mr.   Nancy  Lee
Associate   Editor .Miss   Dora  Diary
Feature   Editor    I'ncle  Josh
Exchange   Editor Mr.   Voyageur
Sporting   Editor Mr.   Observer
Chief  Reporter  Mr.  Cork
Reporters: —
John Galowsworthy, G. Ii. Shaw,
Thomas Hardy, Rudyard Kipling,
Sir Oliver I/odge, etc.
CEtjanlfrlffr   (Etrorolat^a
The Best to he had
75c per pound
Bulk   or  packed  in
1-lb.,  2-lb.,   3-lb.,  4-lb.,   5-lb.
Boxes
(Eljanttrlpn*
774 Granville Street
"Where  the Cock Crows"
Orpheum
Coming' Wednesday Evening-
MARCH 21st, 1923
Pour  Nights  and  Three  Matinees
Matinee 2:20 Evening 8:20
VERA GORDON
In a New Comedv Drama. Entitled
 "AMERICA	
CARLTON EMMY
"His Mad \Vu.Ks"
THE   FOUR   CAMERONS
"Like  Father—Like   Son"
GENE   GREENE
"A  Little  Bit  of Everything'
CUMMINS    &   WHITE
"Campus  Capers"	
Chas. —Sargent & Marvin— John
Favorite   Vaudeville   Entertainers
Frank Cliff
SINCLAIR.   AND   DIXON
in
"THE LITTLE COTTAGE"
with
Ethel Russell
IDA MORRIS, L.R.A.M.
Former Pupil of Tobias Matthay
Teach   of   Piano   and   Violin
Special Course for University
Students,   May-September,   1923.
Residence Studio: 1131  Haro St.
Tel.  Doug. 2173 Y
POLICY:    Without Flees or flavour.
Weather:     Just Awful.
PREDIGESTED
A strange thing happened to Mr.
Lome Morgan on his trip home from
Berkeley. It happened on the train.
He went into tlie dining car on the
first evening of the journey and ate a
heavy meal, shortly afterwards retiring to his berth. During the night he
dreamt that he was eating Shredded
Wheat, and when he woke up the
next morning half the mattress was
gone.
GO  TO (?)	
' Go   to   Father,"   she   said
When  I  asked her to wed.
Now  she   knew  that 1  knew
That  her  father  was  dead.
And  she knew that I knew
Of  the  life   he  had led,
And she knew that I knew,
What she meant when she said:
"Go  to  Father.''
There   was  a  tap  at the   door.    He
arose  and turned it off.
CORRESPONDENCE.
"Deer Meester Editor: I got your
letter about what i owe you. Now be
pachunt. I ain't forgot" you. When
sum fool pay me I, pay you. If this
waz judgment day and you waz no
more prepaired to meet your Maker
as I im to meet our account, you sure
would half to go to hel. Trusting you
will do this 1 remain, etc., etc.
STOP,   LOOK,   LISTEN.
"The Pussy-willows are out in the
suburbs. The old grey mare will take
you   to  them."
"It's no use, you'll have to turn
your face the other way. I simply
cannot dance with my right cheek."
'Lipstick   is  what  makes  the  tulips
bloom all winter.
The heroine walked aft.
"What did the hero do?"
"He walked after."
NEW   BOOKS.
"How to he Tactful" (in 2 volumes).
By the author of "Everybody's Darling."  (Mr. Wilde O. Vermie).
"Discoveries in Science," by S. M.,
author of "Young Men and How to
Dodge Them."
"Giving References," by A. Damter-
Messay.
GETTING   DOWN   TO   EARTH.
"I've lived on vegetables for two
weeks," said the dietarian.
"That's nothing," said the skeptic,
"I've lived on earth for twenty years.
1
"In  the  Chesterfield were two.'
Willie and lovely Sue.
Father came in at half-past three,
Tum-didy-um-tum-dee-dee.
MUCK-A-NOTES
As for the person who was clumsy
enough to break the men's only mirror, we heartily wish him seven years
bad luck, aye seven times seven.
Where can we find such another? It
had flaws in it which extended the
face several inches  in ali directions.
* *    *
Kissing, ,.c . 'dmg t<> t r c latest
scientific d^'-tr ■■.;<". :- ■•.■> anatomical
ji'xtapositVi! of the orbitcularisoris
in the staie -i' co-.i: !■::•; ion. Accord-
;,:g to the s vc.>I young t ling it'?- ■-..Hi
it s just he.vr.u
•    *    *
The   argument   on   professors   and
higher   education   waxed   hotter   and
hotter,  until  finally  someone   suggested Coleman's Mustard.
* * *
Our idea of the sweet co-ed is one
who thinks Alma Mater means "Sweet
".■lamma."
* *    *
Making the "gvi'de" round about,
mid-term often require a good deal of
•gas."
* *    *
The tradition of kissing, so we are
told, was handed down from mouth
to mouth.
* *    *
Somewhere     we  have    heard    that
book-worms  prefer  creepy books.
* *    •
Fathers are glad when they have
finished working their son's way
through college.
FABLE   OF   PRESIDENTIAL
ADDRESSES.
"Kill me," said the lion to the executioner, "that poor lamb never did
any harm."
"Kill me," said the lamb, "I'm too
weak to be any good in the world."
Co-ed (in tears)—"O George, why
did you come to the rugby game
drunk?"
Brute Senior—" 'S economical. See
two games for one ticket."
^*-«  #—— ^— .
HOW   TO   BE   HEALTHY.
The health of the future generation is assured, judging by the answers to the questions on a recent
Hygiene examination, at one of our
public   schools.
(1) The way that germs enter our
bodies is by travelling on street cars.
(2) To avoid germs stand alone in
a crowd.
(3) To prevent teeth decaying
wrench them out every morning.
(4) To disinfect the throat, gargle
with a weak delusion of carbolic acid
and water.
GOBLIN.
I wish I was a Science Man
I like 'em in their overalls,
I hope they wear them all they can,
I like 'em  looking like  a man.
As though they didn't care a dam.
The gowns look nice on fluffy dolls
Their use on men I sure would ban
I like 'em in their overalls.
With Humble Apologies
The  world  is  old and yet it likes to
laugh.
Xew jokes are hard to find.
A whole new editorial staff
Can't tickle every mind.
So if you see some ancient joke
Dressed up in modern guise,
Don't fuss and call the thing a fake,
Just  laugh—don't  be  too  wise.
*    *    *
Muck-A-Muek wishes to make the
announcement that it has been incorporated as a member of the International Damrotten News Agency.
FOR
Tasty Lunches
Afternoon Tea
and
Confectionery
TRY
The Home Lunch
"Down by the Car"
767 Broadway West
Autographic
Brownies
The Brownies That Fold
Eastman made Cameras
with Brownie simplicity.
Take the 2A, shown above.
It folds like a Kodak and has
the exclusive Eastman Autographic feature. Lens and
shutter are carefully tested.
Pictures are 2^x4*4, and the
price,  $10.00
Other Kodaks  $6.50 up
Main Floor.
f|>
David Spencer
Ltd. THE    UBYSSEY
March  15th,    192S
Exchanges
Willamette Collegian—The Van de
Mark bill recently submitted to the
Kansas state legislature prohibiting
the use of motor cars for recreation
purposes by students attending state
schools was approved last week by
the state judiciary committee and is
now awaiting action of the legislature.
After the judiciary committee had
made alterations, the bill provided
that the use of motor cars for recreation purposes by students enrolled in
state schools be considered a misdemeanor punishable by a jail sentence of from 10 to 20 days or a fine
of from $100 to $300, or both.
The bill as it has been introduced
not only applies to the use of motor
cars on the campuses of state schools
but prohibits the students using a car
for purposes as stated above, any time
or any place while they are enrolled
in the school.
Students interested in the outcome
of the bill are already speculating on
which they will choose—the hiring of
expensive taxicabs, or taking a chance
on paying a heavy fine occasionally,
and exchanging a room at their fraternity house for a cot in the county
jail for a few days.
Univ. of Southern California—Jan
Ignace Paderewski, ex-premier of Poland andi the world's greatest pianist-
composer, is to be the guest of the
University of Southern California
next Thursday morning, February 22,
at which time the honorary degree of
Doctor of Laws will be conferred upon
him by Dr. R. B. von KleinSmid in
recognition of his distinguished services in music and statesmanship.
University of California—Men of the
sophomore class will uphold the tradition of their Alma Mater by guarding the Big "C" on Charter hill preceding the annual Stanford-California
basketball game which will take place
this evening in Harmon gymnasium.
The night's vigil commenced at 7
o'clock last evening and continued until dawn. Fires were kept burning all
night and a midnight supper served
to those on guard.
University of Oregon—A division
of the larger American universities
into colleges made up of groups of
students not exceeding 220, is being
advocated by President R. M. Hughes,
of Miami University here. President
Hughes, nationally known as an educator, is offering his plan as a solution of the colossal problem of the
cumbersome size of the American University.
In announcing his plan for a division of large universities into colleges
in order to attain oetter educational
results, Mr. Hughes said he was convinced that a plan of organization
must be developed in the larger institutions that will assure the same personal acquaintance of faculty and students that exists in the small colleges
if the real worth of the universities is-
to continue. President Hughes' plan
is closely modeled after the English
plan at Oxford and Cambridge.
-DANCING-
Every Wednesday and Saturday
evenings, 9 o'clock.
ALEXANDRA
H   DANCING ACADEMY   H
Oor.  Sobson  and Hornby
The Alexandra Orchestra, featuring the Sousa Phone, always
In attendance.
APPOINTED   EDITOR-IN-CHIEF.
At a meeting of tne Students Council held on Tuesday, Mr. Geoffrey
Bruun, Arts '24, was appointed Editor-
in-Chief of the Publications Board for
the academic year 1323-24.
Mr. Bruun is well qualified for his
new position. His experience on the
Ubyssey extends over two years, last
year as an Associate Editor and this
year as Senior Editor. He was one
of the co-authors of the Chapbook, the
student book of verse published last
year, and is a prominent member of
both the Letters Club and 'the Historical Society. Besides taking a
prominent part in student activities
he has managed to keep well abreast
of his academic work, and has the
reputation of being a brilliant student.
The members of the Publications
Board extend their heartiest congratulations to the new Editor-in-Chief and
express the conviction that the University publications will have a most
successful year under his experienced
and capable guidance.
CHIROPRACTIC
A  Safe  and   Sane  Way   to  Health
SB.   GALLANT
408 Carter Cotton Bid?.
Seymour   8790
Branch   Office   at   Jubilee
Member   B.   C.   Chiropractic  Ass'n.
NEW   SPRING
STYLES  and   FABRICS
HAVE   ARRIVED
ONE
PRICK
"27
.00
MADE
TO
MEASURE
We invite you to inspect our
values. Our suits are made to
your measure, and tailored to
fit, in any style you may choose.
Up-Top Tailors
301  Hastings 8treet West
Vancouver,  B.  C.
Opposite Hamilton Street
ATTRACTIVE  MEETING
A meeting of the Pianist Club was
held on Tuesday night at the home
of Mr. Gerald Kerr,  1947  Union St.
Miss Partridge read an interesting
paper on Mendelssohn which was illustrated by numerous selections from
the works of the great composer.
Those contributing to the program
were: Miss Grace Smith, Mr. Burney,
Miss Florence Kerr, Mr. Gerald Kerr,
Miss Magdalene Aske, Miss Wilma
.Morden and Miss Edna Rogers, Miss
Bollert has kindly accepted the honorary presidency of the club.
The next meeting will take the form
of a hike to Grouse Mountain, probably on the Saturday following the
examinations.
S. C. M. HOLD TEA
The girls of the S. C. M. entertained on Thursday at a farewell tea for
Miss Margaret Lowe at the home of
Miss Jessie Casselman.
Mrs. L. S. Klinck, honorary president of the society spoke a few words
in appreciation of Miss Lowe's work
at U. B. C. Miss M. L. Bollert was
also present and gave a short but interesting talk fitting to the occassion.
A presentation from the S. C. M. was
made to the guest of honor during
the afternoon by Miss Elsie Rilance.
^he New
PAIGE
Oxfords For
Young Men
are here
Black and Brown
See these New
Spring  Models in   Our
Windows
$7-50 to $9.00
"Your mentality reaches
a high standard when you
stand up in our Shoes."
H
"Professional   Shoe  Service"
Seymour 3304
fCCLESTON
js \JfCALUSTER.
'"HsHQEcam
771  Granville Street
Orpheum   Theatre  Bldg.
LOOK
THEM
OVER
Our Suits for Young Men
are Smart and Stylish without being too expensive. The
fabrics are good and the
prices are right.
$25.00, $29.50, $35.00
C. D. BRUCE
LIMITED
Oor. Homer and Kuttioga 0tr
BOYS !
Patronize Canada's Finest Barber Shop. 18 Chairs. All First
Class Barbers and  Manicurists.
THE  ROGERS   BUILDING
Wm. BUK51H, Proprietor
464 GRANVILLE 8TREET
Phone   Sey. 78S3-0
"Down   tho   MarbU   ■taint"
"Say It With Flowers"
BROWN BROS. & GO.
LTD.
Florists,  Nurserymen and
Seedsmen
TWO STORES:
48  Hastings  Street Bast
Phones:  Sey. 988 and 671
665 Granville Street
Phones:  Sey. 9618 as4 U91
Just Arrived
ENGLISH TWILL SHIRTS
The Hard-Wearing Shirt
$2.35
Everybody should buy at least
3 of these shirts. They are exceptional values and are guaranteed  to satisfy.
Mann's Man's Wear
Two  Specialty  Shops
for  Men   and   the   Young  Fellowa:
411-474   Granville   St.
Wilbur G. Grant
A.T.C.M.
TEACHER  OF PIAMO
Organist  and  Choirmaster
First Baptist Church
Studio:      2213    Granville    Strsst
Phone Bayview 3140 R
LIONEL WARD  8. COMPANY.   LTD.,
Ob-*.

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