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The Ubyssey Oct 8, 1940

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 A.M.S. Meeting
Tuesday  12.30
Auditorium
Utt}? Hbysa^g
PUBLISHED TWICE WEEKLY BY THE PUBLICATION       S BOARD OF THE UNIVERSITY OP BRITISH COLUMBIA
Reporters
Meeting
Wed.   12.30
VOL. XXIII.
VANCOUVER, B. C, TUESDAY, OCTOBER 8, 1940
No. 5
TIMETABLES RELEASED
Army  Lectures
Student  Social
Change
Routine
Double Degree
The entire strata of campus extra-curricular and social life
is due to undergo a drastic change as a result of military training lectures held throughout the week.
Besides the two or three hour"?"
period of driU Saturday afternoon
members of the C. O. T. C. both
Officers Training Group and Basic
Military training wlU be required to
undergo three hours of lectures on
military and optional subjects. Lectures have been arranged so that
they do not clash with students'
time tables and will start immediately.
CUT DOWN MEETINGS
Inauguration of noon-hour lecturo periods Is expected to cut
down club meetings at this time
while C.O.T.C. members who attend Thursday night classes will
have a hard time getting to major
aoclal functions throughout the
season.
Members of the Officers "Training
Group will be divided into four
groups  A,   B,  C,  and D.
Students whose surnames fall between the initials A to K may take
either group A, group C, or group D.
Students whose surnames fall between the intials L to Z may take
either group B, group C, or gioup D.
TIME-TABLE
Time-table follows:
Group A — Monday, Tuesday and
Thursday noon In Applied
Science 100.
Group B—Monday, Thursday and
Friday noon ln Arts 100.
Group C — 7.-30 to 9:30 p.m. on
Mondays and Wednesdays.
Group   D  —  7:30  to  9:30 p.m.   on
Tuesdays and Thursdays.
On Saturdays, Group A will take
a lecturo from 1 till 2 p.m. in Applied
Science 100 and Group B in Arts 100.
All four groups will parade for chill
betweqn 2 and 4 on Saturday afternoon.
Those unable to attend parade
Saturday afternoon will bo required
to take a practiced period Tuesday
evening between   7; 30  nnd  9:30.
BASIC  GROUP
Cadets taking Basic Milltory training will parade Saturday afternoons
from  1  till  4 p.m.
During the week they will take
three one-hour lectures as follows: .
1. One-hour physical training.
2. One-hour  military  lecture.
3. One-hour optional military lecture.
FOUR GROUPS
Cadets will ba divided into four
groups, G, E. F, and H for military
lectures. Students whoso surnames
commence with A to K may take
lectures in Group E, G, or H. Students whose names commence with
L to Z may take lectures in groupa
F,  G,  or H.
Lecture times are as foUows:
Group E—Tuesday noon, Arts 100.
Group F — Friday noon, AppUed
Science 100.
Gorup G—Monday evening 7 to 8,
Applied  Science  100.
Group H—Saturday,  11:30 to 12:30
a.m., Applied Science 100.
Optional   lectures   are   as   follows:
1. Elementary radio, Tuesday afternoon, 4:30 to 5:30 under Professor
H.   J.   McLeod.
2. Signalling, Wednesday afternoon,
B.   Duff.
4:30 to 5:30 under Professor D. C.
3. Service instruments, _:,'<:) to 5:30,
Wednesday afternoon under Dr.
A. M.  Crooker.
4. Signalling Thursday afternoon.
4:30 to 5:30 und-er Constable Bill
Orchard.
5. Engines, Thursday afternoon,
4:30 to 5:30 p.m. under Professor
H.   M.   Mcllroy.
6. Elementary Navigation, Friday
afternoon, 4:30 to 5:30 under
Flight-Lieutenant L. Gray, R.C.
A.F.
First aid lectures will bo arra-.igod
in   the   near   future.
Optional military lectures will not
commence until tho week commencing;   Monday.   October   14.
SENIOR PHOTOS
Aggie Students
Unite Commerce
And  Agriculture
Inauguration of a new double degree in Agriculture and Commerce
was revealed this week by Dean F.
M.   Clement   of   the   Aggie   faculty.
Although details for the new course
are not complete, the Board of Governors Is expected to ratify Its establishment at U.B.C. within tho very
near future. The course will take
flve years and will combine the
regular agriculture course with 15
units  in   Commerce.
"It's the only logical thing," was
Dean Clement's comment on the
new course as he pointed to the
greatest enrollment the agricultural faculty has yet had.
INCREASE
"When we flrst founded th. faculty
here, we never expected more than
100 students," he said. "We've been
over that quota for five years and
now   we've   got   160."
Ho   added   that   the   new   five   year
course     would     be     invaluable     for
' students   who   want   training   in   th-e
' science   of   agriculture     and    at    the
' same time desire sound grounding in
the   principles  of  commerce.
A.M.S. Meeting
\In Auditorium
\Noon*: Today
Students wlU turn out In the
Auditorium at noon today to take
part In their Alma Mater Meeting
—symbol of student democracy.
Besides club budgets, which will
be presented by treasurer Peter
McTavlsh, It Is expected that questions such as the dropping of the
Junior Prom and the keeping
open of Brock Hall will be discussed by students.
Students Demand
Be  Opened  For E
PUB MEETING
Reporters' meeting will be
held on Wednesday noon. All
reporters who would like to hold
their jobs will do well to fUter
Into the Pub sharp on time. No
excuses will be accepted, even
If grandmother's funeral Is held
that day. Funerals can be postponed, but tho Ubyssey must
go on.
NO EXPENSE
ii
ii
Maintain Prom Tra
Students  Urge  Council
Angered at the breaking of a time-honoured tradition, stu
dent leaders are almost unanimous in their condemnation of
the  Student  Council's  recent  decision  to  combine  the  Junior
Prom with the Senior Class party,
QUESTIONS STATEMENT
P.A.  SYSTEM
NOW  IN  USE
ON  CAMPUS
Have you heard? The P.A. system
is now in use on the campus for tho
flrst time. It was donated by the
1939 Graduating class and was installed this summer in the Caf., the
Stadium, and th-e l_rock Building.
Harry  Warner   is in  charge.
Aim of the Public Address system
is to notify as many students as possible about the meetings of clubs,
pep meeting, concerts, and other
Student activities, In a more con- '
venient way than the old method of
the   megaphone  In  th-e  Caf.
RULES
Rules for notices are  as foUows:
1. Announcing Is done between
lectures and at noon hour.
2. Announcements must not exceed 15 words.
3. Announcements must be put
In the book on the Mamook's table
In the Caf., or in .the Mamook's
room at least one day previous to
the broadcast. The same applies
for orders for signs.
Parliamentary Forum  leader Arthur
Fouks questioned the statement made
last     Tuesday     by     Peter    McTavish,
treasurer of the Alma Mater Soci-ety.
to the effect that such a combination
of    class    parties    would    lessen    considerably   expense   to  the   individual.
"Since    attendance    at    a    class
party   Is   free  to  members  of  the
class   concerned,"   Fouks   argued,
"Individual     expense     Is     simply
non-existent.
""   "Of   course,   people   from   other
classes) always do attend, but students who are so socially  minded
will spend their money on outside
functions  anyway,   If  the  number
of   University   dances   Is   reduced.
Vou   cannot   force   the   Individual
to  save.
"If   it  does  save   money  I'm   for   it,
but  otherwise   it's  just  plain   foolishness   to   cut   out   a   tradition   like   the
i Junor    Prom,"    Fouks   concluded.
A  SHAME
"I think it's a shame to cancel the
greatest function of the year," exclaimed Ruth Heyer, president of the
Player's   Club,    "The    Prom     usually
HOME COMING
PROGRAM
RATIFIED
HEALTH
EXAMINATIONS
AU men attending University
for the first time must be examined by the University Health
Service. The Military examination alone Is not sufficient.
Men who have not already made
an appointment for a physical
examination should make one
today at the University Health
Service Office.
Starting with a Pep Meeting on
Friday (25) and ending with a
mighty Pot-Latch in th-e Auditorium
Saturday night, Homecomi*-! week,
organized by Student Council member Charlie Nash, was ratified by the
Students Council at a special meeting
last night.
The  program   Is   as   follows:
FRIDAY,   OCTOBER  25—
Pep  Meeting.
Alumni   Banquet  and   Homecoming  RaUy  in  the   Brock   Hall.
SATURDAY,   OCTOBER   2C-
Blg     Block     Luncheon     football
Game,    Tea    Danoe,    and    Pot-
Latch   in   the   Auditorium.
Monday, October 14, has been
proclaimed Thanksgiving Day.
Tho University will be closed
on that day.
***?*- -        ■   ■   ^p. <y  /^"A.—__*jK^
President.
...» i
pays for itself pretty well. It's silly
to play the martyr with th-e feeling
that you are helping the war effort
when your attempts are perfectly
futile. So, unless the expense problem is particularly pressing, I say
'we ought to keep the Prom'."
LONE UPHOLDER
Lone, upholder of the Council,
Tom Robinson, Musical Socloty
president, maintained that the
combination of thc Prom with tho
Senior Class party would save Individual time and expense, as well
an serve to influence pubUc opinion In favour of the students.
On the other hand, both Theodora
Combolos, president of la Canadienne,
and Elspeth Monro, president of the
Women's Public Speaking Club, expressed doubt that individuals would
use any money thus saved spcciil-
cally   to swell  Canada's  war  fund.
Nancy Carr, president of Phrateres,
although greatly disappointed at the
elimination of the Junior Prom from
th-e year's social calendar, admitted
that such self-sacrlflclng action on
the part of the students might help
somewhat to influence public opinion
in   their   favour.
McGiil   Undergrads
Aid Campaign Of
Canadian Red Cross
MONTREAL, P.Q., October 2—University of- McGiil studenls today
launched their drive in aid of the
Red Cross Society. AU fundj obtained through this drive will be
added to a nation-wide campaign that
ls  already   In  progress.
The undergraduates Societies in
eaoh class will be contacted by their
own executive. For tho benefit oi
all students who are not approached
collection boxes will be placed in
the halls.
Contributions up to any amount
will be accepted; receipts and buttons
will be given for donations over one
dollar.
SCHOLARSHIP STUDENTS
Students are requested to call at
tho Registrar's Office for their scholarship cards as soon as possible, have
them certified by their instructors and
turned in to the Bursar's Office by
Tuesday, October 8th, so that they
may obtain the first payment of
scholarship money on that date.
Brock
ven ing
Hall
U
Council Negotiating With Governing Board,
Hope to Reach Early Agreement; Clubs Ask
Building Be Used For Evening Meetings
Brock Hall, which has heretofore been locked up tightly
and effectively on the stroke of five p.m. may be kept open
for evening use if negotiations now under way between Students' Council and the Board of Governors reach successful
completion.
The Council hopes to keep the building open during week
days from 9 a.m. till 10 p.m. and on Saturdays from 9 a.m. till
6 p.m. so that students will have a chance,to use and appreciate
the structure whose financing they made possible.
STAY AWHILE AND REST
This   means    that    weary    students)
-$_,
Course To Continue
Betty Co-Ed Can
Learn To Nurse
Soldiers Boys
Girls now in their third or
fourth year, who are interested
in nursing as an extra-curricular study, are being given an
opportunity of pursuing this
subject through the new Home
Nursing course under the direction of Miss G. Homfray.
In view of tho present situation,
and the success of the plan last
year, the Board of Governors of
tho University of British Columbia
endorsed the continuance of this
course. In the case of an emergency these students could be
called upon to help the Red Cross.
This class will be limited to 20 or
25 students, owing to the lack of
facilities. Tlie course will consist of
about eighteen periods, of which one
half of each period will be devoted
to lectures and the other to practical
training.
Wednesday the 9th, will mark the
beginning of the class, and except
for the Christmas examination period, the Home Nursing class will be
held each Wednesday from 3:30 to
5:30 o'clock.
U B.C. TO AID
WAR EFFORT
WITH DIMES
Headed by Students' CouncU, the
student body of U.B.C. wUl soon be
making a real contribution to Canada's  war effort.
Council has decided to ask all students to sign waivers contributing
one dollar of their caution money for
war effort purposes. This would
mean well over two thousand dollars.
Plans are being formulated for
a "mile of dimes" campaign, the
proceeds to go to the Red Cross.
Harry Lumsden, A.M.S. president,
Is trying to get permission to hold
a downtown student parade to aid
the drive.
From Bob Bonner comes the suggestion that paper corsages be worn
exclusively at the Arts-Aggie Ball,
the money so saved to swell tho Red
Cross coffers.
Feeling on the campus Indicates
that any such drive will meet with
full   co-operation.
Joe Doesn't Know The Score Yet
But He Will.
THE GREEKS WILL HA VE YOU IF YOU HA VE WHA TIT TAKES
i
Appointments for senior students who wish new pictures
for tho Totem will be made by
Artona In Brock Hull commencing  Tuesday.  October 8.
Sittings will start the Monday
following.
By   SIGNA   PHI  NOTHING
Once there was a sophomore who
went to U.B.C. for no very good
reason. He was an innocent sort of
a guy with nothing on his conscience
and even less ou his mind, but
nevertheless managed to get on in a
passing sort of way with most of
his profs and even some of his gal
friends.
IN THE MONEY
Joe, as the boys called our hero,
never was the most popular guy in
the Frosh class but he managed to
sot around. Besides, his pere hae!
more than enough in the old sock to
pay   for   peanuts.
To make a long story short, Joe
Is beginning to have trouble with
an   expanding   ego   and   a   super-
popularity.    He's being rushed  hy
some of the Greek  letter brotherhoods, and we do mean rush.
It   all  started   last  week  when  some
nice   looking   fellows   that   knew   the
nicest   stories    asked   Joe    if   he    had
four-bits   that   needed   investing.    Joe
didn't    of    course,    hut    somehow    he
found    himself    over    in    tho    A.M.S.
office-  signing on  the line and   passing
out   the   half   slug.
HAVE A COKE
Then yesterday morning on the way
to the Caf to pick up his usual round
of coke, two smoothies pounced on
Joseph    and    started   spouting    about
roller skating, luncheons, banquet?,
house parties and stuff, all on the
house so to speak. Naturally Joe
accepted   the   invitation.
That was thc first of four It
seems, and now Joe will spend
tho next two weeks partying
gratis with affable young men who
simply Insist on paying for everything.
If you were to ask Joe what his
opinions of his f-ellow students were,
he'd go into a paen that would probably take your breathe away. Everybody treats him like a l-'itig, he tells
us, and he saw his t'us.t frat-. taily
house at a luncheon today. Some
jont,  he  opines.
HOW ABOUT WORK, JOE?
Right at the moment Joe isn't
just sure how all this rushing Is
going to fit Into his course of
studies, hut then exams are a long
way off aren't they? Not only
that, but some ot these boys have
darned useful alumns In a practical sort of way, and Joe once
thought about getting a job when
he finished his formal and Informal  education.
All in all. Joe thinks this fraternity
business is fine stuff, but of course
Ive doesn't know which cue he'll
join   yet.   what   the   ante   is   and   what
will   happen   when   he   pledges,
him   time   folks,   give  him  time
Giv.
need not be pushed rudely from
chesterfields when the clock boom*
out five, and swept from the building
by the janitor's broom. Furthermore
clubs will be able to make use of the
structure for evening meetings which
will become more frequent as a result
of C.O.T.C.-filled noon hours.
Co-Incident with student council
negotiations, prominent students on
tho campus, questioned by Ubyssey
reporter.!, threw themselves wholeheartedly behind the council, urging
that the building be kept open during
tho evening.
A cross section of their opinions ia
presented ln the following survey:
Sandy Nash, president of the Arts-
men's Undergraduate Society—"By all
means keep the building open. We
hope to use it for mixer dances during tho afternoons. With military
Uaining taking up noon hours, studenta will want more and more to
come out during the evenings."
Bob Bonner, president of L.S.E. —
"Clubs on the campus are already
asking to use the building for evening
meetings. If the structure is kept
open it will be a big boon to them."
Val Bjarnson, president of the
C.S.A.D.C.—"So much time is taken
with other activities during the day
that the evening is the only time -we
have to come out to the Brock and
relax."
Theodora Combolos, president of
Cercle Francals—"What's the use of it
now? Tho main idea of thc Brock
ls that it's a student building. Clubs
should meet here every evening."
Nancy Carr, president of Phrateree
—"I think it's a wonderful idea. Girls
who are boarding in town could meet
their friends.there ln the evening. As
It is now, some of them have to go to
the corner store or some barbecue,"
James McCarry, president Freahman
Class, 1939—"The only time that most
club executives can ever get the full
use of their offices ls after lectures—
and in the evening. The Alma Mater
Society, Pub, etc., -would certainly
benefit a great deal if the Brock
were  open until say, nine o'clock."
Thos. Roblnaon, president Musical
Society — "The Brock Building is for
tho students' use, not for an ornament,
but the only students who can ever
use the building now are the "Lecture-skippers". Just when most of
us have time to relax and enjoy it,
they close it up. I say, 'Let it be
open   during  Social  hours'."
Mary Beale, president Kappa Alpha
Theta Fraternity—"I would like to
sea the lounge open till at least nine
o'clock. After all, a girl has to havo
some place to relax between caf-
closing time and studying hours, and
the Brock is just the right place."
Cambell Gilmour, president 4th
Year Aggies — "I'm all for it—think
they should Install a few radios—Seriously, Saturday afternoon is the only
time some of the girls have off, and
the ones who have to wait for rides
homo after military training would
really appreciate having the Brock
open. They can't study all afternoon,
you   know—not   girls."
Gerry Armstrong, president Women's
Big Block Club—"The building is there
to be used, not looked at, and I think
everyone would get more use out of
it if it were open in the evening —
officials and  students  alike."
Ruth Heyer, president Players' Club
—"Tlie lounge of the Brock Building
is such a lovely place to meet. —• far
moro social than thc Caf or thc Common room, yot no ono ever seems to
have time to use it. It should bo more
easily available for small club function   in   the   evening,   too,   rather   tha.i
always going  to  someone',
hall."
home  or  a Page Two
THE      UBYSSEY
Tuesday, October 8, 1940
\J*}z lUnjHiuui
(MEMBER C.U.P.)
Issued twice weekly by the Students' Publication Board
of the Alma Mater  Society  of the University  of British
Columbia.
Office: Brock Memorial Building    —    Phone Alma 1624
Campus  Subscriptions—$1.50
Mall Subscriptions—$2.00
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
Jack Margeson
SENIOR EDITORS
Tuesday Friday
Pierre Berton Janet Walker
SPORT EDITOR
Archie Paton
ASSOCIATES
Edna Wlnram Cornelia Burke
REPORTORIAL STAFF
Ollbert Baal, Roy Morton, Hildegarde Smith, Eldln
Underwood, Bill Wilbur, Jonathon Clark, David Hous-
ser, David Robinson, Stewart Mcintosh, Sylvia Anderson, Bernice Williams, Helen Vandebogart, Helga Jarvl,
Adam Waldie, ZeUe Adcock, Margaret Reid, Lucy Berton, David Munro, AlUson McBaln, Bill Dawe, Bob
Maitland.
For Advertising
Standard Publishing Company Ltd.
2182 West 41st Avenue   —   Phone KErr. 1811
Brock Hall
The Students' Council, and major organizations on the campus should endeavour this
year to make Brock Hall a true student building. The clubs should hold as many of their
meetings in the building as possible, and their
social functions as well. The Council should
remove any obstructions ln the way of holding meetings or social functions there.
The rental price of the main lounge is at
present the chief obstruction in the way of
holding social functions in Brock Hall, a price
which has caused the Musical Society to hold
their formal elsewhere and will probably do the
same with other societies in the future. But
we are promised a large reduction in the rental
price in the near future.
The main lounge is a very nice place to
sit down in and also to play bridge in, but
otherwise, there is very little for the students
to do in Brock Hall. No provision was made
for a ping-pong table or for any other game
room. Might we suggest that some such use
be made of an unassigned room, or of some
other room that is being used so rarely that it
i.s not worth while reserving. Until the students find something to do in the building,
they will not use it.
That is where the question of mixers
comes in. The Artsmen's Undergraduate Society, such as it is, has placed mixers in its
program for the coming year. This, we believe, is an excellent idea. Informal mixers,
inexpensive and enjoyable, would prove immensely popular, and would be an ideal form
of entertainment for a war session when other
more lavish entertainments are being cut out.
Administration
The students of this University have
shown their ability to get things done. They
have also shown their ability to administer
student affairs in a wise and moderate way.
Now that the question of the administration
of Brock Hall has come up, the students should
be allowed on their past record to show that
they can administer a building for the good
of all concerned.
Of course it was not all student money
which built Brock Hall, and it is reasonable
that other investors should be interested in
the administration of the building. But the
building itself is of little use to anyone except
the students, and if anyone but students were
to administer it, there would be friction and
unnecessary trouble.
The Students' Council is in a very good
position to consider the various applications
for rooms in Brock Hall and to organize and
control student activities there. It knows all
about the various organizations and individuals
interested in the building and can judge with
some degree of accuracy.
If the control is not left in the hands of
the students, it will not necessarily be less fair
and reasonable, but there will be delays and
endless discussion over unimportant detail.
Student control would be both more efficient,
and in the end, more satisfactory, we believe,
to both students and the University authorities.
Red Cross
News has come from the East of campaigns
for the Canadian Red Cross by the various
Canadian universities. Saskatchewan has begun a drive, and Manitoba has set an objective
of twelve hundred dollars.
A successful drive for the Red Cross on
this campus, besides being very useful to the
Red Cross and to our fellow Canadians overseas, would help to correct the unfortunate
impression held by many people in this province that university students are good-for-
nothings, only out for a good time, and not
interested in what happens to this country.
And we will need the goodwill of the citizens
of this province if we ever want this university
to expand after the war.
The  Mummery
By Jabex
"I would like to get a little dope on the
C.O.T.C", I said, blinking suggestively at the
corporal.
"Oh, come now," smiled the corporal,
'you aren't so little."
"I don't get it!" I whipped back.
Then he manoeuvered me into a position
favorable for the siphoning of my last five dollars, thereby reducing my wallet to just so
many quivering, flabby folds of imitation imitation leather.
"Can I have my gun, now?" I asked.
"When was the last time you were checked
physically?"   queried   a   face,   and   they    all
watched me as though I were due to crystallize or something.
EL STUFFO
"Well," I answered, ruminatively, "there
was a blonde last week who hadn't heard of
El Stuffo's Theorem No. 5, 'Principles of Oscillation Within a Given Radius', or of Corollary
No. 1 "The Lack of Them'. You might say I
was checked physically when I came to the
part that El Stuffo says is by axiom."
They were sympathetic, being sciencemen,
and agreed that the Patron Saint might have
been more explicit about the axiom. Then
they told me to report that night for a medical examination.
Being a fourth year student, I was, of
course, somewhat apprehensive of this imminent attempt to plumb the depths of my
fixtures, many of which I knew to be out
of date, and most of which I suspected to
be enjoying a prolonged anatomic siesta.
Seniors often look like something that fell'
out on the way to Center and Hanna.
When they cut themselves, they have to
mako an effort to bleed. People look at
them and start to whistle "Old Man Mose".
Do you, freshie, know what it is like to put
on a garter, only to have it slide slowly
and Insidiously down your inadequate calf,
and finally slop out over your shoe?
GARTERS
By Heaven, child, it shakes you to the
very foundations, and leaves your morale a
heap of rubble. By the way, freshie, garters
are something people vised to wear before they
became self-supporting. To return to civilization, however. It was with considerable trepidation that I presented myself that evening at
the desk.
"Can I have my gun, now?    I asked.
The  man   looked   me  up   and   down   carefully.    He cleared his throat.
"Are you sure you want to go through
with this?" he asked, in low, richly modulated
voice.
My head nodded on a rubber band.
"You're   a   brave   man,"   he   said   quietly,
and   his   eyes   shone   filmily.      "Have   a   life-
saver?"
Feeling    like    something    that    has    been
thrown over the stern of a Union steamer, I
was told to wait.
STRIP-TEASE
_I muffled through some choice leer-
literature in the form of medical pamphlets that jovially reveal what you have got,
how it could have been prevented, and
how to arrange flowers tastefully. I was
morbldy fascinated by a Karloff edition
" of "Insomnia, Eh?", when they sent me
into another room, where a lot of naked
men were running about as though it were
first call for lunch in a nudist colony. I
shrank back instinctively from a hairy
chest that passed uncomfortably close to
me, glaring malevolently over a pair of
shorts.
"Strip off all your clothes!" somebody
barked.
"What, no sarong?" I parried, nervously.
"What will Lumsden say?"
The doctor looked me over with the manner of one who speculates upon the value of
a piece of strawberry shortcake that has been
left in the cupboard too long.
"Make it snappy, Doc," I quipped. "I
have to be back in the iron lung within an
hour."
"How are your ears?" he asked.
"Mmnn?"   I   gave   back,   leaning   forward
attentively.
"How are your ears?" he shouted.
"Gears?    Sure, I've got gears," I laughed.
I showed him my gears.
"Crawl  around  on the  floor,  moving the
head slowly from side to side!"
"What was that supposed to indicate,
Doc?" 1 asked, getting up after I had collected
what I considered to be a reasonable load of
inside fir around my knees.
"Oh, nothing," sighed he.     "It's just that
I dropped a dime in here somewhere, and somebody has to find it.    How's your stomach?"
"Alimentary, my dear Doctor."
"Let's see your teeth."
I handed him my teeth.
Then he stuck a wooden paddle down my
throat.
(Continued Next Column)
~EATING~
Fruit Salad
with
Pat Keatley
Grapes of Wrath
Fizzing up to the surface of the salad
bowl today cornea grapes ot wrath,
luscious plump grapes, blood-colored
grapes.
A sanguine little tale comes to this
bureau from Cuba, where the undergrads really know how to haze. It
came as a wire story:
HAVANA, Aug. 1—THREE STUDENTS WERE KILLED AND SIX
WOUNDED TONIOHT WHEN
SHOOTING BROKE OUT AT LA
COMEDIA THEATRE WHERE UNIVERSITY STUDENTS WERE MEETING TO COMMEMORATE THE 10th.
ANNIVERSARY OF THE SLAUGHTER OF RAFAEL TREJO, STUDENT, DURING THE REGIME OF
THE LATE PRESIDENT.
1. The "late" president? They got
him too? Must be awful to be president  of  a unlveralty  down  there.
2. The despatch mentions that students, tommy-guns, knives, and
bombs are being held for Investigation.
3. The university board of governors Is expected to give the students   a   "severe   reprimand".
It just brings up the whole question of vitality. Are we losing our
wholesome appetite for spilling red
corpuscles and sloshing about knoo-
deep  in gore?
..ARE  WE  "WITHOUT  A  SPOON?'
•   •   •    *
Kultur  says  we  are.
Read the Nazi author Frledrlch von
Bernhardt, a cheerful citizen who
disgorges clots of red-blooded propaganda in the Third Reich. Today he
is tho white-haired boy in the distinguished coterie of literary prostitutes surrounding Dr. Joseph Goeb-
bels.
Made In His latest retchings are on
Germany    the subject of war.
"War," he concluded, "is
a biological necessity! The blessing
of war is a stimulating law of development!"
Dr. Robert Lay shouts angrily
from his rostrum, adding his weight
as a leader of the German Labor
Front.
"War expresses the highest and
best in mankind," he declared last
spring. "Our men give their blood
sacrifice in their last and greatest
effort."
Mussolini has a word to say, too:
"War beautifies and ennobles, it
bathes    men    in    the    blood    of    their
8        $1.00 •
WJEBJ   OAP
HESTER olqar
••nd either 1 lb.
 SOO
PORAL  or   WIN
watts* ar »1.00 will
.             Jb. of OLD VIRGINIA
DIM tobacco op 1 lb. of SWEET
OAPORAL FINE OUT (with Vowm
papsra)*o Oanadlana Mrvlng In O.A.S.F.
overseas only.
$2.80 sends 1,000
olovsttu to an Individual  or unit.
Address "t«m« Caps,"
P.O. Bea 6000, Mor.tr._l, P.O.
"How can we mOko him slop?"
•'Offer him a package of SwmI Cap*.'
SWEET CAPORAL CIGARETTES
nTh* purtit form in which tobacco can b* *moh*d."
t
RADIO SOCIETY
TO AUDITION
WEDNESDAY
"How am I fixed for oil?" I snarled.
after he had pulled it up. I was beginning to show wear and tear at
the hands of the fiend, and the damage became more widespread as he
hit me with hammers, stuck lights In
my ears, and ran a rubber tenacle
over my modest bosom. What happened to m. shouldn't. happen to a
concentration   of   German   barges.
"Any marks or scars for ident Iflca-
tion?" finally asked this throwback
from   the   Inquisition.
"Not until I met you, honey," I
growled.
"O.K.   You can  go,  now."
"You  wanna  bet?"
"I'm going to put you In Category
A,"   he  concluded.
I stared down at him as he screwed
on my leg, and, at that moment I
thought I knew how Franchot Tone
felt when Laughton made him climb
the  thing  in  a   storm.
"May the Lord have mercy on your
soul, or a reasonable facsimile!" I
murmured    solemnly.
With that, I stalked out with all
the dignity and none of the glamour
of  a  Godiva.
"Can I have my gun, now?" I
asked the  man  at the  desk.
He told me to turn out for parade
an Saturday. On Saturday, we had a
nice, long -walk for miles and miles
in the hot sun. Yes, Indeed. W--
certainly did. (Quick, nurse, the
oxygen! My lungs have that breathing   urge   again!)
A meeting of all m.mbors of the
Radio Society, old and new, "..ill be
held at 12:30 on Wednesday, October
0,  In Arts 104.
Definite plans for th-a term'a broadcasting will be announced and discussed. Officials of the club aio particularly anxious to meet students
interested in script writing and announcing.
News broadcasts will start on Friday, and it is essential that all
applications for membership be In by
the   meeting   on  Wednesday.
The campus studio, on the top
floor of the Agriculture building, will
be open to students wishing auditions
from  12:30 to 1:30 tach week  day.
brothers,    it    purifies    the    nation,    it
cleanses   and   rejuvenates."
How  different  from  the  British
attitude, which amounts to "we've
got a dirty job to do, let's roll up
our sleeves and get on with it,"
*    •    *    *
Variety is the chief merit of any
fruit    salad.    Would    that    justify—
MARY   HAD   A   LITTLE  LAMB
ON WHICH SHE USED TO FRISK
NOW     WASN'T     SHE     A     SILLY
GOON
HER   LITTLE    *
DIRTY NINE
Last week we stripped some of the
tawdry tinsel from the tradition of
the cairn csicmcjy. Later in the
clay a cheerful member of Students'
Council shouted happily from across
the boulevard, and turned and headed in our direction. It burbled as it
came.
"Well, what'll we expose next
week?" it frothed, waving at votes
who were strolling past. "Well,
what needs criticizing," it back-
slapped.
Ho Asked   "Why,  or—"
For lt "Dort't   you    know?"    said
the Dirty Niner, not waiting for a reply, "Why, Students' Council of course," breaking into a Chamber of Commerce laugh. Then It
turned on Its rabbit's foot, and mad.
its way through an embarrassed crowd
of   undergraduates.
NEXT WEEK: Searchlight on Students' Council, or What Every Young
Undergraduate Is Bound to Find Out.
NOTICE
In view of the A.M.S. meeting on
Tuesday noon the Carnegie recorded
recital will be postponed till Thursday noon.
SOUNDER WAY
OF LIVING
URGED
"If you are fighting for more bathtubs you will lose, Uberty. Democracy means a sounder way of life,
not a more comfortable existence,"
said Dr. G. G. Sedgewick Friday ln
a lecture to the Social Problems
Club.
Telling the students to consider
study as their most effective means
of f.ction, th-e speaker said that because every one couldn't be a leader,
the students must be abl. to choose
the   right  one  to  follow.
"You are the fortunate section of
society," asserted Dr. Sedgewick. "On
you will fall the decisions of the
future. You must know how to
evaluate and to criticize in order to
axamin-e the problems you will meet."
He elaborated H. R. McMillan's
statement that "B.C. Is living on its
capital." and said that the exploitation of our natural resources is due
to lack of foresight and insufficient
study  of   th.   situation.
"Investigate the words and ideals
for which you are fighting. Be- pie-
pared to go to bat for your principles.
In the long run, difference of opinion   produces   the   right   course."
Dr. Sedgewick emphasized preparation as the key to success and gave
as the means to this, Study, Study,
Study."
C.S.A. TO DISCUSS
ACTIVITY IN WAR
Student Activity In Wartime" will
bo the subject of a panel discussion
sponsored by the C.S.A.D.C, in Aggie
100.
Students representing various phases
of student opinion will present the
case  for  different  activities.
Ruth Wilson, athletics; Ted Scott,
S.C.M.; Stuart Chambers and others
wiU lead the discussion.
LECTURE
A lecture-recital of the folklore of
French Canada and on the Indians
will be given Friday evening by Mile
Juliette Gaultler de la Verendrye.
Th-a lecture will be illustrated by
some fine pictures. It will be held
In the Spanish Ballroom of the
Georgia Hotel, Friday, Octob.r It at
8:30   p.m.    Tickets are  50c.
UNIVERSITY BOOK STORE
HOURS: 3 A.M. TO 3 P.M. — SATURDAY 9 A.M. TO NOON
Looseleaf Notebooks, Exercise Books and Scrlblers
AT REDUCED PRICES
GRAPHIC   ENGINEERING   PAPER
BIOLOGY PAPER
LOOSELEAF REFILLS
Fountain Pens
and Ink
Drawing Instruments
\ Tuesday, October 8, 1940
THE      UBYSSEY
Page Three
THE CCCPSE CN THE
BOOKSTORE   ELOOR
CHAPTER ni.
ONLY A DIME IN THE CASH BOX
OR
THE LITTLE MAN WHO WASN'T THERE
His eyes bulging like a horned
toad's, Oscar leaned further and further forward to gaze at the barbarous
sight before him.
Oblivious of the presence of a
watcher , that incongruous couple,
Alarlc the Hick and Dottle Listen,
were cramming a mangled body into
cash  register.
Poking his head around the edge
of the door, the reporter watched
them working as methodically as a
pair of Zoology lab Instructors cutting up a dogfish. Just as Oscar was
noticing that the cash register read
"No Sale", the last arm was folded
into place, and Alarlc Tlmberlonloua
What, again?
looked  up from his labour of love.
His vacant expression changed to
one of fiendish rage as he saw the
watcher in the doorway, for Oscar,
slow as usual, had withdrawn his
head with the speed of a crammer
returning a reserve book the night
before exams.
WING-JING
With a lightning movement Alarlc drew a wlng-jing and hurled
it nt the reporter's head. It struck
squlshilly on the pulpy mass, and
Oscar was out like a 1029 fashion
plate.
For hours, days, or possibly weeks,
he was even moro unconscious than
usual. Slowly as a queue of 12:30
lunch-buyers moving along th-e caf
counter, his senses returned, and
then   came   a   feeling   of   repression.
Suddenly he realized what was the
matter. Ho was lying on the downstairs floor of the big stone castle
behind tlie lily pond, and on the top
of him was the Library of Congress
catalogue.
Brilliant sunlight and assorted
Artsmen were streaming through the
revolving door. And standing over
our heavily burdened pal was a
severe-looking lady with a pencil on
her   ear.
"This space is reserved for faculty,"
she rebuked him, "how do you think
Professor Blotzflnk would feel if he
crawled ln for a quick one and found
a   student   here   before   him?"
We pay the  highest prices for
U.B.C. books
THE VARSITY
BOOKSHOP
4521 W. 10th Ave.
(Where the bus stops)
Padlocks
For Your Lockers
Ask  about  them   —   We
know your needs — Our
75c    padlocks   cannot   be
picked.
OTHERS  PRICED
From 20c
STUDY LAMPS
AT CITY  PRICES
81.95
HEWERS'
Hardware
4450 WEST 10th  AVENUE
Phone ALma 1SS2
Oscar  sighed   unhappily,   lifted   the
oomplete    card    catalogue    from    his
chest  with one  hand,  and rose   from
the  geometrically   designed   floor.
He still didn't know how he'd got
there, or what had hit him, but when
he remembered the corpse in the cash
register, his Adam's apple hurtled up
and down his esophagus from sheer
excitement.
Tho mangled mess would have
been    discovered    by    now,    but
chances   were   that   Police   Chief
Appleyard   and   hla   merry   men
wouldn't know wbo had done the
dirty deed.
Loyal to the Dirty Rag, Oscar
rushed upstairs with vague ideaa of
finding the murderers and getting an
Interview before they were put in
the clink (not to be confused with
Klinck).
A STAB IN THE DARK
The idea that hicks who have spent
the previous evening doing a little
quiet murdering are not likely to sit
ln reading rooms Indulging in fluffy
chatter did not occur to Oscar, for
as has been mentioned before, he
was as slow on the uptake as the
P.O.E.
But though he scanned the rooms
table by table, he found no sign of
either Alarlc or his companion from
th-a Dirty Nine. Only a few co-eds
covertly glancing at Sclencemen and
a few more Sclencemen openly staring at the co-eds Inhabiting the seats
of learning. So he hastened out to
the Bookstore, to see '."hat progress
th-a police were making.
Little did he realize that ln the office
of the imposing stone structure he
had just vacated, its master, King
Willie K. Sheep, was pacing back
and forth, wrestling with a terriffic
problem. "Shall I do it, or shan't I?"
he shrieked for the forty-seventh
time, running his hands through his
golden-brown  hair.
Breathless, Oscar dashed into the
Bookstore, and found business chug-
Ing along as calmly as usual. Where's
the body?" he gasped, "did they get it
out of the cash register, and do the
cops  know  yet who  did  it?"
YOU'RE PLASTERED
The tubby gentlemen in command
of the market gazed pityingly at
Oscar. "Young man.'i he said, "I fear
you are slightly Inebriated. May I
advice you to return to your domicile
and  —er,  sleep  it off?"
He  toddled   off,  sold   Fluggbuggle's
Advanced Psychology to a bespectacled Junior, and returned to the cash
register with the intelligent-looking
dope's  money.
He punched an assortment of
buttons, and the cash drawer shot
out. It was absolutely corpseless.
There was no sign of a body, and no
sign  that  it had  ever  contained  one.
(What has happened to the gooey
remains? Why was Oscar deposited under the card catalogue?
And when, If ever, will he discover that Alarlc the Hick la
Chang Suey in disguise. Only
time  will teU—we  won't.)
If you really want to change your appearance for the coming
session, try one of the MacDonald steam permanents at Clou's, corner
of Robson and Howe ... it will freshen up your personality, and get
you ready for the heavy studying you're going to do . . . fraternity
spirit is a wonderful thing . . . one curly-haired Sigma Phi Delta,
stayed homo on Saturday night to write an essay, believe It or not
. . . got worried when his tall, blonde room-mate didn't arrive home
from tlie show, even on the last streetcar . . . he finally arrived
just in time for breakfast ... a good opportunity for tho said essay
writer to do his good deed for the day . . . Clou's permanents leave
your hair as soft and manageable as if It was naturally curly . . . and
their permanents can be adapted for campus or evening wear.
mm.*
Suzette, 880 Howe Street, has the cuddliest looking sweaters, soft
as the Kaf kitten's purr, in colours that really do flatter you . . . one
Phi Kap PI, disappointed when his Mus Soc girl friend went out
with a Sigma Phi Delt, In trying to forget his sorrows found himself pursued by an ex-Varsity blonde ... he decided that his sorrow
wasn't that deep, though, and spent the rest of the evening trying
to save some of the brothers from her clutches ... all sorts of belts
and accessories are just the sort of smart snappy things that Suzette
specializes in, and her Belt of the Month, Handkerchief of the
Month, and Flower of the Month, are like the ones in Mademoiselle's
one particular belt has the leaf design which is so popular with the
"smart young things" . . . It's a series of different coloured leaves
aU strung together  . . .
* * * *
Stacy's, 762 Granville, have shoes especially suited for the co-ed
snappy conversation makers combined with a price to suit even the
smallest budget . . . sturdy flexible soles and the new coloured
saddles, and the ever popular white, are ideal for cUmblng down to
the beach during these Indian Summer noon-hours ... a Psl U In
the Bac Lab has discovered a new method for making dates . . .
it turned out that a waitress in a downtown restaurant has the same
name as he, so they went on from there . . . next time, he'll probably say his name is the same as hers anyway, since this method has
been found so successful . . . Dressy pumps, like suede and with
patent leather trim, are very popular . . . they come with all heel
sizes too . . .
* * * *
The Arts and Crafts Shop, 807 Howe, have trick novelty jewelry
to brighten up any costume ... one particularly smart bracelet has
a mortar board, slate, books, and all the school paraphernal!-, dangling
from the chain . . . Mrs. Frayne has received special shipment from
Europe on the last available boat," and so It's all guaranteed exclusive ... the freshette sister of an Alpha Phi reports that her sister
likes a certain Fiji because he looks like one of the psychology professors ... we wondered why ... jewelled chips that are priced
very   reasonable   look   just   like   their   genuine   models it's   un
believable what a clever clip will do for that last year's frock
whether it be for dress or campus wear ... it seems that some boys,'
including a Phi Delt and a Zete, crashed the Kappa rushing party
. . .   but  were   soon   bounced   ...   did   they   think   they   were   being
20to*?d
i/ut
Hudson s Bay Company
Witc Co-Eds  Choose   Casual  Clothes
From   BAYV  Twix-Tween   and   Sportwear1
INCORPORATCB    St"   MAY   1870
We've been thinking about you
. . . our new Twlx-Teen shop and
our up-to-date Sportswear Department are both crammed with the
casual campus and wearable date-
clothes you like.
Here ln the Twlx-Teen shop you'll
find the big-comfortable coata you
Uke to snuggle down into while
watching parades . . . there are
darling Uttle crepe dresses for your
informal fun . . . your favorite
light-weight wool shirtwalsters for
class . . . and of eourae glamorous
formals to make you the beUe of
the class-party.
Over ln the Sportswear you will
see the smart mannish jackets you
love . . . gay pleated plaid skirts
. . . cosy twin sweater sets . , . and
the new South Wind blouses, which
are proving so popular with tbe
younger crowd.
From gym shorts to bouffant evening gowns you wise young co-eds
can find all the smart clothes you
want, at the prices you want to
pay, in the Twlx-Teen shop and
the Sportswear Department at the
BAY.
Twlx-Teen   Shop  and   Sportswear,
Fashion Centre,
Third Floor at the BAY
Thespians
Senior Students
Will Direct
Two Xmas Plays
Senior students this year, for
the first time, will be given real
opportunity to direct in two of
the    Players'    Club    Christmas
plays.
Such was the announcement made
by Sidney Risk to the Ubyssey
on Saturday. Mr. Risk, capable director of many Player's Club productions in the past, will this year confine himself to supervising the students'   direction.
John Glen will direct the'melodrama, "In Cold Blood", by Gordon Blight, while a nativity play
from the thirteenth or fourteenth
century, entitled  "The Pageant  of
CLASSIFIED
LOST
A black Parker fountain pen between the Arts and Mining Buildings. Finder please return to A.M.S.
Office.
LOST
Student's     Cambridge     Edition     of
"The    Complete   Works   of    Geoffrey
Chaucer".    Last   seen   in   the   caf.
—Lloyd   McKenzie,   SEy.   0424.
TRANSPORTATION AVAILABLE
To 8:30 lectures from Spanish Banks
vicinity. John W. Kerr. ALma
1250-R.
CERCLE FRANCAIS
JOHN GLEN
. . . embryo director
RENT THE
Alma Academy
For Your Club Dances
Public   Dances
Wednesday and  Saturday
tho   Shearmen  and   Taylors",   will
he directed by Archie Bain.
The   Players'    Club   has   plenty   of
talent with  which  to   work  this year,
j for,    despite   military   training,   there
Cassius had "a lean and hungry look.
Poor fellow! He never ate at our place.
SNOW-WHITE LUNCH
ON TENTH AND SASAMAT
The meeting of 'Le Cercle Francais*
will be held this evening at the home
of Miss D. McDonald, 5869 Hudson
Street.
Guest Speaker, Monsieur L. J.
Dupuis will give an address on "Les
Allemands en Belgique."
PUBLIC   SPEAKING
"The Public Speaking Club, auxiliary
to the Parliamentary Forum, wlU get
under way this Friday, under the direction of Andy Roddan and Stewart
Chambers. All those who feel at aU
wobbly about the knees ln the Forum,
all those who wish to gain confidence
and experience are invited to attend
at 12:30 in Arts 206. Freshman speakers are especially advised that this
will ease the shock of plunging into
a  red-hot Forum  debate.
were  more   applications for  membership  than  in any  recent year.
ALL-GIRL CAST
The excess number of women in
the club wUl be looked after by the
production of a comedy, "Far Away",
by Philip Johnson, which requires an
all female cast. Dr. Dorothy M.
Mawdsley   will   direct   the   play.
The fourth production will be a
farce, "Edward about to Marry", by
F.   Sladen  Smith.
"Of course," said Mr. Risk, "Mr.
Gaga  evlll   direct   the   farce.    Mr.
Gage  specializes  In  farces."
Tryouts will be held on Friday,
October 11, in the auditorium, for all
new members, and old members who
have not been In previous Christmas
plays.
Bike Riding Not So
Simple With A Gas
Mask In The Way
"Have you ever tried to ride a
bicycle wearing a gas mask?" Miss
G. L. Langridge, recent traveller in
England, asked the Cosmopolitan
Club   on   Sunday.
The speaker, describing the difficulties of teaching school In an
abandoned zoo, said that the children
adapted themselves amazingly well
to their new life, even when seA.ig
a  cow for  the flrst  time.
Guests of the meeting were members of the Doukhobor colony in the
city, who described their customs ane.
rnswered questions regarding their
beliefs.
SHE SAID A MOUTHFUL
I gazed into her dark and glowing
eyea. Her lips were saying those
three wonderful words I had waited
so long to hear. I could not believe
It, and yet it was true. Again she
said, fulfilling the dream of my Ufe,
"No   geometry   assignment."
The Badminton Club Is after now
members. At the last practise, sixty-
one feather flickers turned out,, electing an executive for the coming year.
Ken McBride was elected president,
Jean Eckhardt vice-president, Stu
Burris secty.-treasurer, and Dave
Waddell   tournament   manager.
They plan to enter teams in the
Senior 'B' and 'C leagues wilh some
talk of entering a team in the Senior
'A' loop.
Practises are held each Monday and
Thursday night.
LOST
$20 in pocketbook around 3 o'clock
on Saturday in the Stadium. See
Graham Finlay.  Reward.
TRACK  AND  FIELD
The faithful few track and field enthusiasts on the campus are turning
out for practise "free lance", it is reported.
Apparently the boys are not organized this year, as there is no prospect
of inter-collegiate competition, so the
sport is lapsing.
Besides such veterans au Bob Field,
Stu Madden and Campbell Williams,
there are a number of former high
school track stars on the campus, and
It Is a pity the club has not been
pulled   together  as it was   last  year.
Co-Ecrs:  Why  go downtown for your beauty appointment?
THE SHAMROCK BEAUTY SALON
4403 West 10th Avenue
Is ready to serve you.
See us before your next formal, or telephone ALma 0261 for an
appointment,
All types of beauty culture. Page Four
THE      UBYSSEY
Tuesday, Ootober 8, 1940
Girls* Hockey
Varsity - 1
Ex-Kits - 2
Football  Game
Against Victoria
Thanksgiving Day
ARMY CLASSES CROWD OUT INTRAMURALS
WATT'S
WHAT
By DUH GWAT
<3>-
Walklng Into the Pub offices this
bright a.m., I was confronted by the
foaming visage of one Archibald
Paton, present editor of this sporta
(?) page. Between sundry flecks of
said spewing sasliva, yours truly
gathered that the sports page was
under imminent possibility of complete collapse as the result of drastic
lack of athletic activities on thla fair
campus of ours at the present time.
Briskly conjuring up the capabiUties
of the Tuesday side of his mental
unit, said editor remarked, quote,
"What happens to be a controversial
subject at the moment on the campus?"  end of quote.
"Smokers and Knee-socks," I replied brightly.
"Since we are not permitted to divulge the bare facts of the Frosh
Smoker, you will produce a column
on Knee-socks. Also," he added as
an after-thought, "you will take unto
yourself all responsibility for the
effect of any remarks you may let
fall."
So although this may not seem to
you a very sporting subject, this department feels that such a widely discussed topic which has possibilities of
such grave effect upon the various
possessors of feminine pulchritude
around tho campus, should be dealt
with without delay. Accordingly,
yours truly sought out a number of
reliable sources of comment, and has
entered such herein for your perusal.
COMMENTS COMMENCE
A male Arts Graduate—"Knee-socks
mark the end of man's delight in the
perus.il of the beauty of the feminine
lower appendage. The average male
commences his visual survey of the
feminine form from the feet, and continues on upward. Thusly, when the
first sign of flesh that greets the
sensitive  males'   optics   Is  in the form
CANADIAN FOOTBALL
First Game Monday
Against Victoria
League Officials Uncertain Whether Clash
Will Be Staged Here Or At Victoria;
Good Turnout At Practices
While officials iron out details in the schedule of the newly
formed Big Three V Canadian Football League, Varsity gridders are whipping a team into shape for a game Thanksgiving
Day againsts the Victoria Revellers, either here or at Victoria.
 4"HOME  OR  AWAY?
"—'*
Stop Press
At a late hour last night It
was confirmed by Jim Harmer,
Men's Athletic President, that
Varsity will travel to Victoria
Thanksgiving Day for the opening football game of the season.
A special excursion to Victoria will leave Vancouver Monday morning at 8:30 a.m., returning at 10:00 p.m. Price is
two dollars return.
The schedule Indicated as
tentatlvo in the accompanying
story was declared as final,
Harmer stated.
THE NEAREST BANK IS
The Canadian
BANK   OF
COMMERCE
Tenth and Sasamat Branch
A general bank business
is transacted and accounts
of the faculty and students
of tho University of
British Columbia are welcomed.
BANKERS TO THE
ALMA MATER
SOCIETY
C. R. Myers, Manager
GET VALUE
IN  PRINTING
for the  activities
of your—
SORORITIES
FRATERNITIES
SOCIAL
and
CLUB FUNCTIONS
THE
CLARKE & STUART
CO. LIMITED
Stationers   and   Printers
550  SEYMOUR  STREET
VANCOUVER,   B.C.
of a wrinkled and flabby knee, said
maler.' faith in the genuine joy of life
receives a staggering blow. In short,
I  am  against  them!"
Second Year Applied Science—"Well,
I'm walking down de campus yesti-
day, blissfully listening to de boid
choiping and stuff, when I sees a
smooth looking doll perambulatin"
(big woid, huh?) toward me. Stomping on my throttle, I eases up to dis
skoit, and am justs going to move in
with my smooth line of gab, when I
gets a closer view of her gams. Has
dis dame got gaposis of de silks, I
aks myself brightly. On closer scrutiny (I got dat from an Artsman) 1
finds it's them !)XZ)fl!* knee-socks.
I abhors 'em."
Freshette—"I think they're adorable"   (she   was   wearing   them).
Aggie Cattleman — "It'll make the
whole campus calf-conscious. At last
tho Aggies will come into their own."
Technical fashion lass—"The advent
of knee-socks is a strategic move by
the heads Of fashion, calculated to take
the coeds by storm. Since they are
only suitable for girls with pipe-stem
legs, the fashion leaders will fail ln
their  bUtzkreig  on  knees."
Commerce Man — "Statistics show
that the Knobby Knee In the naked
state cannot last as a permanent part
of the feminine beauty of the modern
world.    Tho trend is to the ankle."
REAL  QUOTES
"Jake" Adams—"I like 'em. Why?
They look comfortable for jitterbug-
ging. EspeclaUy those cut in half
ones."
One of the Jones boys—"Like them?
No. They look as If they'd been dug
up from the attic, full of moth balls.
Jean Clugston—."They're definitely
not  flattering."
Jack Wlsmer—"I don't like them at
all. Medium height girls can wear
them best, but . . ."
Anonymous—"I saw a pair of violet-
yellow  ones today—horrible."
Dorothy Hlrd—"I hate them. They're
best on skinny legs, but even then—"
Mary Frank Atkln — "I'm gonna
wear them. I like the light colours.
I know the. boy's hate them, but 1
think  they're  cute."
Pierre Berton — "I think they look
awful. Corny. Stovepipes walking
across  the campus.
Mary Beat—"They look terrible, unless you have very, very nice^legs."
Freshman—"Splendid Idea. $1.25 a
week   for   silk   stockings—disgusti.ig."
Mary    Lister—"Don't   like   them    —
they   look   out  of place  with  the   rest
1 of  an outfit."
i —Anonymous—."Good G — —. Thero
| ought to bo a law against those
j da — —■ things."
SUMMARY
I Consensus of opinion of 99T of tlie
I male body of the campus —■ "They
i stink". The other V, is in accord
j with the rest, but is ruled hy a domin-
■ coring female   (in  knee socks).
Consensus    of    opinion    of    this    re-
! porter  —  "They  stink".
Yesterday Coach Maury Van Vllet
did not know where the opener of
th-e proposed four-game schedule
would be played, as Victoria wants
the students to travel to the Island,
and permission from University directors had not yet been obtained for
this jaunt.
If the game is played at tho Island
City U.B.C. players will be able to
get there and back in time for Tuesday   lectures,   Van   VUet   explained.
SHORT SCHEDULE
Maury hopes to have the schedule
rearranged so that all Varsity's games
will be played on consecutive Saturdays,   thus   shortening   tho   season   so
ALAN GARDINER
First-string grid-star who will
be a big factor In the Varsity attack against Victoria In the first
Big Three V league game Thanksgiving Day.
that   it   will   not   interfere   too   much
with   military   training.
If this plan meets with the approval of league officials, Vorsljty
will play at Victoria next Monday (Thanksgiving); against Vancouver Bull-Dogs the following
Saturday night under the lights
at Athletic Park; entertain Victoria
at the Stadium October 26; and
finish up against Vancouver here
a week later.
Meanwhile, the turn-out at the
daily practises is very encouraging,
over thirty gridders showing up for
work Saturday afternoon after three
hours   of   military   training.
Advance notices from the Victoria
camp reveal that the Revellers have
a vastly improved team this yoar.
They have been practising all summer, and Coach Van Vliet entert_ins
riu illusions as to an easy victory
when  the  teams  meet  Monday.
Maitland Leaves
For Navy Thurs.
Assistant Sports Editor Robert
Maitland leaves Thursday evening
with a party of thirteen Vancouver
young men for Eastern Canada,
prior to going overseas in His
Majesty's   Navy.
Johnny Bird. ex-Varsity English
Rugby star, is also a member o" the
group.
Last year Maitland was Sports
Editor of tlie Dalhousie Gazette, and
he had registered at U.B.C. this term
to complete his fourth year in Aits.
He is a member of Phi Delta Theta
fraternity.
First Comes
Military
Training
Restricted Program May Be
Improvised, Says Van Vliet
By ARCHIE PATON
Intramurals, Coach Maury
Van Vliet's pet hobby ever
since he came to U. B. C. as
Men's Athletic Director, are
due for a sudden and drastic
end on the campus.
In an interview late yesterday afternoon, Coach Van Vliet
revealed that the extensive program he had hoped to carry out
this term would have to go by
the boards in favor of military
training classes.
"It would be impossible
to run intramurals as planned," Maury said sadly,
"because most of the games
are scheduled for noon
hours, and that time is all
taken up by C.O.T.C. lecture and Basic Military
classes now."
RESTRICTED SCHEDULE
However, he added that a
meeting of all class athletic
representatives is being called
on October 15 to discuss what
can be done about drawing up
a much restricted intra-mural
program. At this meeting, the
representatives will examine
the time-tables of the various
military lecture and physical
education classes in the hopes
of working in an inter-class
schedule, so that interamurals
will not become absolutely
dead.
Previously, it was thought
that because of the restrictions
placed upon teams formerly in
outside competition intra-murals would enjoy a big year on
the campus, but apparently this
is not to be.
4>
B.C. Beys
IN   1 H/^IAI
CO-ED SPORTS
Hockey Girls Lose By
One  Goal  To  Ex-Kits
U.B.C.'s    entry     In    the     Women's<$>
Hockey. League dropped its flrst game
of   the   season   2-1    to   Ex-Kitsilano
Saturday.
Myrne Nevlson, former Varsity
star, and Jean Forsyth scored goats
In the last half to overcome the lead
Jean Handling's early goal had given
the   Blue   and   Gold   squad.
Our team shows much promise, end
with more practise should provide
stiff  competition  in  the  league.
MYRNE  NEVISON
Former Varsity star who scored
the goal for Ex-Kits which beat
Varsity grass hockey gals Saturday In the first game of the
season.
Barney Boe, one of Varsity's all*
time greats in Canadian Football, has
recently joined the Royal Canadian
Airforce. Barney, a future pilot,
played on the Football squad for
three years, during which time he
was one of the stalwarts both
offensively and defensively as a running back. In 1937 Boe climaxed his
Football career by being elected
captain   of   that   year's   squad.
Besides being rated as one of the
best football players in B.C., Barney
played and starred in many other
sports Including basketball and track.
Aircraftsman Boe was a member of
Phi   Kappa   Sigma   fraternity.
The women's Golf Club was organized on Friday at a crowd-eel meeting.
Dorecn Gibson and Mary Boyd take
executive positions on the new club.
Arrangements are for play on Thursday,  Friday and  Monday.
Draw results are: THURSDAY,
12:30; Doroen Gibson, Ruth Wilson,
Marion Murphy, Anna Ruth Finlayson, Audrey Jones; 1:00; Frances
Fowler, Denise Darling, Ruth Dun-
lop; 1:30; Mary Mulvin, Marjorie
Crosby, Marg Everton; 2:30; Mary
Hlggins, Nedra De Beck; 2:45; Mary
Boyd, Helen Woodcroft, Margaret
McColl Smith, Sylvia Hunter, Elizabeth Mclnnls; 3:30; Jean Carol Lee,
June Weaver, Kay Marling, Joan
Straith.
FRIDAY, 2:30; Mary Finlay, Mary
McMillan; 3:30; Eleanor Lindsay,
Mary  Lindsay.
MONDAY,    2:30;    Barbara    Plckln,
i Margaret Croft, Penny Runkle, Ruth
Boyd, Jackie Kleopfer, Mary Frank
Atkln.
\ A meeting will ba held Wednesday.
October 16, to collect the scove3 of
these   matches.
No Interfaculty
Rugby At Man.
WINNIPEG, OCT. 7, 1940 — There
will be no interfaculty rugby league
this fall.
This ls the biggest news eminattng
from our own home-grown B.M.D.
(Board of Momentous Decisions),
otherwise known as the A.B.C. However, as a sort of consolation prize
there will be an exhibition game between United and Medicals on Freshman Day, Oct. 11.
The above was decided at Friday's
meeting. The main reasons governing
this decision  were:
1. Lack of time due to military
training.
2. Entry of junior team ln city
league (all Varsity players are ineligible for  interfraternity games.)
Cagers Hold Workout; Tooke's Sign
Alexander
Last night the Senior A basketball
team held its first practise in the
gym. Under the guiding hand of
Maury Van Vliet, the squad of hopefuls, including such veterans as Flynn,
Scott, Johnson and Jo-Jo Ryan underwent the year's first workout. The
team looks good, and, according to
senior manager Scott this year's squad
may provo to be the answer to
Maury's dream of a championship
team.
After last Friday's meeting of basketball managers, senior boss Bob
Scott disclosed that three teams, the
Frosh, coached by Jim Bardsley, tha
Senior B and the mighty Senior A's
will  be  entered in league  play.
Biggest basketball news, however, was the announcement that
last year's star, Doug Alexander,
has signed for Tookes, opposition
squad ln tho Senior A league.
Are there any girls who are interested ln tap dancing? Miss Moore
is giving lessons In the Gym on
Tuesdays ad Thursdays at 9:30.
A play and playgrounds supervision
class will start on Tuesday at 11:30.
Another class will be held.on Thursday at the same hour. The course
will include such things as theory of
play, graded games, value of play, etc.
The course requires 25 hours and is
50 per cent, practical work. It ls
hoped that some time will be spent
under actual playground conditions.
Any girls who are interested in club
work or who plan to teach should be
interested   in  this   course.
NOTICE
Tho Inter-Fraternity Council has
moved the rushing date for registering prospective rushees to Wednesday.
TRANSPORTATION
Transportation wanted for one
charming young co-ed. From Ninth
Ave., vicinity Alma Road, directly on
route out to Varsity. Telephone BAy.
9543-L—Ask for Rose.
"Always Something
New — For Less"
Correct Fixins
The New Wonder-Bra
In Coutll, SaUn and Lace, fits
as if it had grown on you —
Smartest and best thing in a
Brassiere yet devised. Sells for
$1.25 and $1.90.
Campus Hose
"Sockee-i" they are caUed, of
closely knit rib Lisle, knee-
length, by Penman's. Wine,
Navy, Natural and Light Green.
59c a pair.   A winner for Sport.
Holeproof Silk Hose
New shades, three and four-
thread chiffon, Imperial Crepe.
No better at any price. $1.00 pair.
For Men:
New sox by Penman at 50c, 75c
and $1.00. Flannelette and
Broadcloth pyjamas, $1.95. Shirts
by Forsyth, white and coloured,
$2.00. Ties of English Silks, $1.00.
REID'S SMART WEAR
4516 West 10th Avenue
(At   the   Bus  Terminal)
BARNEY   BOE
HEAD OFFICE
MONTREAL
UNIVERSITY PEOPLE . . . students
and faculty alike . . . will find a
friendly, helpful banking service at
Canada's  Oldest  Bank.
BANK OF MONTREAL
Established   1817
E.   J.   SCHEIDEL,   Mgr.
"A  Bank   where  small  Accounts  are   welcome"
West   Point   Grey   Branch:   SASAMAT  AND  TENTH

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