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UBC Publications

The Ubyssey Mar 3, 1933

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Issued Twice WoMy by the Students'Publications Board of The University of British Columbia
Sun Editor
Speaks On
"In order to get a clcartr under-
standing of tho purpose of Tech-
nocracy one must understand Canada's relation to tho other countries
of the world," declared Mr. Robert
Cromie, editor and publisher of tho
Vancouver Sun in an address to the
ttudtnt body Wtdnttdty noon on
"Technology and What Uet Ahtad."
Dtan Buchanan introduced the
•pecker who It Vancouver, chief
exponent of Technocracy and one of
thrbttt friend, of, the University.
"Ttchnology la th* rtudy and application Of rtwhanlcal appliance*;
T**nocracy is the pubUclty end of
TWiintxtiQity __tg ~ lnvantlona of 'aei-
entists and ethace must bt nuMldstd
Mr. Cromie then briefly outlined
thO'davekmmant ti Stir ________*__■
and the entsnt ef mschanlgaticn In
^^^^F\  "^j^^^^tr^^W     Hf^5^^"*^* P^^^P.      ^p^..    ^t*S|^ '   ^t^^a^ef^sMW^
^^yWBST ' iyP*^    ^.Vsp^HF**   "f^P^eew*^^^^;, ^w^^e - fast?
m worth of maehlntry per capita;
In -h»ai_mi there is HI tor each in-
dtvfiSnnTtM-Sr m w%
dt ^WPSSSSSPSsS 'MiS'    eS    WW^WWB   . ^WS'   SSpe*    ^Sw
vtlopment and control of the two
powoNi the power of fining water
^p^w^^wwy     ^hm*    ^f^^ww^^n     ~^w    ^rwntweeeweaa     t? ni^
and "fc-*-***! newer.   HMOs'ate tha
two material powers.   Tht quattion
^ often asked as to whstiiar thtta
powta wtil get beyond oontrclT
Well, there la yet a third power,,
mental power. It is with this power,
of which wo must detarmlna the
powers can be controUtd."
The speaker then dted two exam-
plat of tilt manner in which machines are displacing man. "I was
in a downtown store the other day
when one of the managers showed
me a machine they had recently installed for the baking of cookies.
This machine displaced the labour
of eight girls. In my youth I worked
on a farm. The threshing season
Involved the labour of a. number of
men, and machine*. Today one machine, the combine, perform* the entire aeries of harvesting operations.
Both these machines operate on the
extrusion principle, that is the taking of unprepared material and preparing it in one operation.
"Our present problem is to adjust
ourselves to modern troubles. At
present wt have no equitable method of distribution of the things we
have," stated Mr. Cromie. In a brief
resume of the natural resources of
North America he declared that this
continent had nearly half of the
world'a principal natural resources,
and but seven percent of the world's
He concluded with a brief discussion of the waste of money and
energy that has taken place in the
pari and il taking place today. Having yet a few minutes to spare, he
threw the meeting open for discussion.
Mark Kennedy and his versatile
band entertained both before and
after the address.
for   tht
Studtnte' Council
tlont on Monday
launching of a campaign to relet the
11400 ntcesssry for the renovation
of tht riadium. A committee consisting of Ruth Witbeck, Rosemary Win-
slow and MUt Owen waa appointed
to take charge ef obtaining student
rignaturtt to caution money walvtrt,
and wiU be aided by Bob Otbornt,
President of the Mtn's Atiilttio So-
The committee plans to waeh the
mombtrt of tht student body through
thi fraternltltt and sororities, and
by meant of individual canvassing on
thi Campus. It wss suggested that
lists be posted liter of aU studtnte
who do not sign wtivtrs.
After consideration of tht   latest
rtliimnannna  of   the   _Um_
CouncU derided to Mm-the
over to the ditoipline committee.
arc new" to a poritfan of «ln4taf out
Where that sign want,"
listen Unto
Wise Words
tIPAY, MARCH 9,1983
Overseas League
Sponsors Tours
Annual summer tours for students
and teacher* are as usual being sponsored by the Overseas Education
League this year.
This year a new tour has been
added. It is called "In Search of
England," and follows the exact itinerary taken by H. V. Morton in his
now famous book.
There are two tours especially arranged for Undergraduates, The first
takes 63 days, costs |450, and covers
fairly completely Scotland, England
and France. The other takes 69 days,
costs |47S and covers Scotland, England the northern capitals and the
Tours are also arranged for those
Who are interested in English, Drama,
Art, French, Music and Physical education, the average cost being about
In addition there are two cruises to
the Orient which touch Japan, China
and the Phillipines.
All student* who are planning to
travel thia summer are advised to
obtain further Information about
theae tours for they are as cheap aa
possible, accomodation is excellent
and much ground is covered.
It wat stated that tbe library board
h__d btt& Pr«___r__-t ta alaM ______ 1U
f^iPiJF- ■   ^PWSP1    SS*W   SJP(|SS   wjSSjSJSjSjmf-'^   SpP ■' p^.%
ftmgA^itt< that ths sdffkilstratfvt
^^^(1^*tISWw -•'fPpW 'SSSgF.   iSSS^ippjHlpfJ!j|^4 flWP* .,^pl
action on account of the publicity
which It would bring to tht unlvsr-
rity. Instead, If tht rign Is not t»-
turned within a roatonaMo length
ot time, a new ont will be made and
^tm^t^n^gjftM^p    Mfd    W^WwS^*JSS   SPSWpW^y t I
A letter wee 'lead from %$.'■ fSntHfc
Committee en Student AffUn re-
quitting rtports ts to whtthtr thai
trip* of th* various univesrity nth-
letic teams had been satisfaotory
from a point oi view oi dlaripllnt.
Bob Otbornt and Vic Ro«trt wtrt
dlreotod 4o submit r^orts in tttis
connection lor tho BaskttbaU and
English Rugby teams respectively.
The discipline committee was again
caUed into action after the failure of
Harold Straight to appear before the
Interfraternity Council to explain a
recent item which appeared in the
Vancouver Sun in respect to fraternitiea. The item in question stated
that some fraternities had offered to
their rushee* such inducements as
jobs for the summer in order to lure
them into membership.
Mark Collins gave a brief report
of hi* recent trip to Seattle to make
observations of the system of student
management in operation at the University of Washington. He revealed
that athletic insurance is not used
at that university, but that a doctor
is paid a definite salary to look after
aU Injuries to athlete*. He also
stated that student handbooks are
distributed free of charge at Washington.
At the request of the Track Club,
Council voted the sum of twenty
dollars from the Stadium Maintenance Fund to be used in preparing
the track for meets which are scheduled to be held on March 8 and IS.
byD. G.
To whosoever has not yet booh
Invited to the celebration this evening, to him do I propound tbtte
words of wisdom: tint hi* *y«tem is
terribl*, and It 1* now high time to
adopt a now onl, and go into training for next year. If any matt ha*
pondtrtd ovtr tht stnsatlons of the
ereetiire kaofn'V'alT'-'ag'-W #__»■;
flower, only lit him fril to pitas*
for, ont night, tnd ht wUl txportence
the afore-mentioned, for as tha wnl-
rua once wisely Obeerved, "The time
has comt. f.." "'"   :- -■'"'*•
Lit it be known also to all and
•undry that tht cottumi dtcrted for
thi nvilrln htrttofort mtntlonid
shatt be of a nature called Qwrt
llie place of tht function thill be'
tht Auditorium, tnd tht murio riiaU
bo auppUtd by mtn, oltvtn In num-
ll..     UJ   lili    ni.      t.t_   li    lit'    i
Htr, ita ny ont, yonn nowlor. i
Dane^ wm wramtnot tt tht
hour of nine and wffl continue until
tiit hour of oiit. Th«W shril bo
sixteen daneea tnd two extras, to
occur at *_ch a Spe at shsU be seen
~''1p^W*M WfMs/im ftm,
"    4ghth, tenth, thirtetnth, six-
r.^. _, anoet art to bt waltsts, and
too extras fox-trots. Alter mo eighth
dance timt 4WIf b« an l_d^r_____on
d length ftftsen mlnVtet'm^riiich
tht muririana may recover their
bcttth and daactn thrir poltt. ;;":
ork of Brahms
o Be Featured
t V. Institute
k program devoted to tho murical
rks of Johannes Brahms, in honor
that comi>oser's centohary, will ba
given by member* <5f tht British
Cdumbia Music Ttachin' Fedora-
tip at a mooting of tht Vancouver
' tute to be held In First Baptist
corner of Nelson and Bur-
Jtrtets, on Saturday evening at
In keeping with the Institute's
ttional policy, txplanttions ol
~'s compositions wiU form part
tntertalnmint. '
W. L Coulthard will taki
of tilt program, calibrating
who has often been eallad tht
of the groat classical maattri
stnst widtr than that of his
In tht long lino of outstanding
wrs. His songs havt
a place in every eminent ring-
so that the Institute's
should be ttttndtd by all
it musicians participating
i Marion Copp, Isobel dart*
Edna Rogtrt, Gtorgt Coutts,
Kurth, Wallace Oillman, WU1-
pehmont, Arthur Oramm, and
gt J. KUpln.
No. 34
Waiver Ru^t
To Commence
Next Tuesday
P-yiici Club
To Study Work
OfJ^ Maxwell
Budding physicists will pay homage to one of science's greatest mathematicians and experimenters when
they conduct an open meeting of the
Physic* Club on James Clerk Maxwell, next Wednesday, March 8, in
Science 200 at 3:00 p.m.
Dr. T. C. Hebb will address the
meeting on "The Necessity for and
the Events Leading up to the Electromagnetic Theory of Light", which
theory Maxwell first enunciated.
Ronald Makepeace will speak on the
agreement between this theory and
actual experiment.
Ivan Knight will present a method
"of making a direct comparison of
electrostatic with electromagnetic
force," with a note on the Electromagnetic theory of light.
Gordon Danlelson, George Volkoff
and H. H. Clayton, will present short
papers on kinetic theory of gases,
the stability of Saturn's rings, and
a biographical sketch of Maxwell'*
life.   The meeting will last one hour.
To Aid Charity
"Captain Brassbounds Convtrrion"
which I* to be produced at the Little
Theatre on March 10 and 11 Is sponsored by the Vancouver Chapter of
the Delta Gamma Fraternity to aid
This is one of George Bernard
Shaw's first plays and has all his
briUlancy of epigram and considerable action is also Introduced. Many
diverse characters take part In the
play. In Brassbound's pirate band
there is a alow thinking Italian, a
London cockney, a middle class Englishman from Hull and an EngUsh
public school man who has "gone to
the dogs."
Captain Brassbound, a bitter dis-
Ulurioned pirate, Is hired by Sir
Howard Hallam, a Judge of the supreme court and his sister in law to
be their guide and protector during
their travels in Morocco. They are
unaware of Brassbound's real character and also of the fact that he ls| Oil paintings by Miss M. Emily
really the nephew  of St.  Howard,' Carr and Mis* Edythe Hemroff, and
The planned adbuction of the Eng- j charcoal sketches by Mr. M. S. May-
._ ..... , ..     ...   .    imrd ^jj ^ shown at m Aft &|
Htne new members were elected to
the Ltttert Club at last Tuesday's
meeting it -the home of Mrs. T. Larson. Tht ntw executive wat also
%okay Whitelaw wttl act as prod-
de_fr of the organlxation for 1M set-
don Mtt-54, whUi Olady* Downot
has taken the post Of secretary. Mr.
Larson is tht club't honorary preaident, Mr. Hawe ia archlvlat, and Dr.
Walker critic.
New members are: Nancy MUes,
Clare Brown, Margaret Palmer, Elinor Turnbull, Kay Macrae, Gerald
Prevost, Archie Thompson, Bob
Clarke and Bob Hewetson.
Vote* of thanks were given to Jean
McDiarmid, who stepped into the
post of president after Sydney Pet-
tit faUed to return to coUege1 this
year, and to Anna Fulton, who as
the secretary, helped her' to make
the season more than ordinarily
Shades of two years ago wiU once
more bt haunting tiie campus next
Tuttday whtn the Alma Mater Sodety commence* another riadium
campaign. Bffort* to raise money
this time, however, wUl bo confined
to tht obtaining of waiver rignatuvfa
on tht campus.
Tables will bt placid at varloua
rtrttegic points around tho university to reduce to a minimum tht inconvenience of "signing on the 'dotted ]lha," while distinguishing tap
wUl be givtn to thott who show tht
trut old Varrity Spirit.
In addition, in order to bt certain
that the studious nsturos of frequenters of tho Ubrary shall not deprive them of the opportunity of
showing their loyalty, tours of that
centre of meditation wltt bo made
by tho waiver-carriers.
Appeal OK
By Dramgti-ti
To Be
Art Exhibit To Be
Viewed In Ubrary
Next Wednesday
lish visitors and the love affair be
tween Lady Cecily and the pirate
are tht hlghUght* of the play.
Lady Cedly Waynfleet will be
played by Mr*. E. Bemulf Clegg and
E, V. Young will take the part of
Captain Brassbound. Other member*
of the cast will be K A. McTavish,
Cyril Bracking, R. M. Eaarie, L. M.
Parry, T. M. Flynn, Capt. Spencer,
Tucker Battle, F. E. Paraloe, A.
Plommer, J. MelvUle, Byron Baillit
and Kenneth Hill. Carleton Clay wtil
direct the production, Charles Cox
ls( stage manager and Mra. C, B. Cox
ia in charge of the properties
Tickets will be sold on the campus
by the members of the Do'to Gamm-
fraternity and they may also be obtained at Kelly's Piano Company
after March 6.
Alberta and Saskatchewan University orators debate the resolution
"Resolved that a Central Bank would
be Beneficial to Canada" this evening at 8:30 p.m. over CNRV. Three
judges from Vancouver have been
chosen to give a decision, Mr. J. T.
dePencler, Mr. Howard Coulter and
Mr. E. Beamish.
LOST—Pearl handled penknife in Bio-
log I Lab., on Wednesday. Finder
please return to Charlotte Dill or
Book Store.
Meeting of Classes ot '33, Arts
109, noon.
Co-ed BaU,   Auditorium,    9
Boat Club Regatta, Vancouver
Rowing Club, 2:30 p.m.
Soccer,   Varrity   vs,   North
Shore United, McBride Park.
Canadian Rugby, Vgrrity vs.
ex-Magte at, Douglfis Park,
Sailor City game. '
Vancouver Institute meeting,
Firs* Baptist Church,  8:15
Playen Club meeting, Arte 196
hlblt ln the Unlverdty Library from
Tuesday or Wednesday till Saturday
of next week. The work 1* modern
and for the most part abstract In
temper, but In a much more satisfactory and acceptable way than the
recent "CoUege of Fine Art's Exhibits" have been. The three artists
belong to Victoria. Miss Carr's
paintings wUl be of especial Interest
because they display the originaUty
and strength that belongs to great
art, and with Indian viUages, totem
poles, and forests as their themes are
Indigenous to B. C.
"Thty have been exhibited very
rarely in the Canadian Watt, and
are consequently little known here.
The University is fortunate to have
this opportunity of seeing her work,"
states F. J. Brand.
The annual inspection of the CO.
T.C. was held last Wednesday at 8
p.m. in the Beatty street Drill Hall.
The Inspecting officer was Briga-
dier-Oeneral J. Sutherland-Brown,
D.O.C., M.D.I.I., who haa flUed this
office for the past five years.
"Everything either progresses or
deteriorates," said the Brigadier,
"and I can say without exaggeration
that thia unit of the Canadian Officers Training Corps has made great
progress during the paat year. The
attendance and drill this evening
has been splendid."
tlie foUowing shooting awards
were made after the inspection: The
Leckle Shield to Lt. D. Worthlngton,
for the highest individual shot hi the
Inter-unlveralty matches, and apoona
to Lt. D. Worthlngton, Sgt. Beeman,
Sgt. Dawe, Sgt. Smith, Cdt. R. L.
Moodle, Cdt. N. F. Moodje and Cdt.
L. M. Stewart.
Mystery, thrill*, dramatic moments,
quick transitions from mystifying
suspense to comparative clarity, are
all to bt tht txptritneo Of thott attending "Alibi," tht spring production of the Players' Club, on the 18,
16, 17, and 18 of this month.
This murder mystery story with
its lottltt'4ko country home of snj
English gentleman, unfolds surprise
after surprise in tht course oi its
action, livery one in the play from
the murdered man's immediate relatives to the servants ln his household is implicated In some way with
the crime, and suspicion shift* from
one to another in turn. But that Is
only one part of the action, for before the bloody deed is committed,
the audience is allowed a glimpse of
the family in the routine of daily
Ufe and given a background against
which they may view tiie subsequent
Thursday the 18th, wUl be students'
night, and tht prict of admission Is
only SOc. Think of it, a chance to
see this unusual and exhilirating
production for tho price of an ordinary show. (Perhaps tome of those
words are too Impressive) but that
shouldn't keep any one away who ia
in need of a good spring tonic to
make him forget the examinations
for a while.
We want to impress the fact that
there wUl be two performances of
the play before lt is presented In
the university theatre, one in New
Westminster and.one in North Vancouver. This wtil mean a polished
performance when it is played here.
-8. B.
Science Makes
For Open House
Red-shirted denizens of the AppUed Science buUdings will be
tuning up their apparatus during the
coming week in preparation for their
Open House Day which is scheduled
to take place at the university on
Saturday, March 11, from 2:30 to
11:00 p.m.
The University Engineering So-
city, In a communication recently
issued in connection with the project, states: "The Society has long
felt that the people of Vancouver
and district should be given an opportunity to see the work carried on
by the AppUed Science Faculty.
With this purpose In view, we will
have the eight major laboratories In
full operation throughout the afternoon and evening."
Guides will conduct the visitors
through the various departments and
wiU explain in detaU the purpose,
equipment and procedure of the experiments. A few of the highlights
of the program wUl be the operation
of the big Diesel engine, the break-1
Ing of telephone poles to determine
their strength, the preparation of ore
from mine to smelter, and a demonstration of high-voltage electrical
There wiU be no admission charge
to the demonstrations.
Award of tht third gam* of the
Playoff Series of the Burrard League
was made to Varsity last night at the
committee meeting of tho appeal
board, tilt game wtil be played next
Tuttday at the home enclosure. A stiff
verbal battle for Varsity'* rights lasted an hour In the V. A. C. club room.
Despite rumours that tho contest
would not take place, Varsity and
Sparlings mtt In tho first game of
the Burrard Ltagut final play-offt
latt night at tht V.A.C. gymnasium.
Hit gamt was hold on the under-
•tending that tha question of tho
venue of the succeeding games bo.
derided as soon ss possible by an
emergency Appttl Board, and that
thi mult of last night's contest
stand, rtgardlm of when the ri-
maining gjmog are played.
Thi Appttl Board consisted of Dr.
J. A. Ollhwple, president of the
Dominion BaskitbaU Amodatlon, J.
Porter, Pnddmt of the B. C. BaskitbaU Association, and Walter Hardwick, Socrttary of th* Lower ^iln*
land Batkitball Atiociation. It met
ynterday at 7:30, Varrity and tht
Ltagut presenting their castt, and
agreeing to abide by the derision of
the Board.
According to Pruldint Whimster,
this ytar** argumtnt ovtr tiw ptr-
tnnlal question of where the play-
offt shall take place began In January, when the Varrity rtprttt^ta-
tivt on the Ltagut executive gave
notice that Varrity would demand
that some gaatti be played in the
Vanity gg-mMriuaa. When iht «utt-
tion was brought up in a Ltsgue
cxtcutivo meeting recently, tiie
League decided against playing any
games on tht U.B.C. floor. Pretl-
dent Whimsttr's answer waa that in
such an event, the Varsity team
would be withdrawn from the series.
On the instigation of some of the
player* on the Blue and Gold team,
the Alma Mater President consented
to re-open the question, and called
a meeting of the Student*' Council
Thursday morning. From this meeting originated the suggestion of arbitration as oultintd above. With
both parties agreeing to abide by
tho decision of the Board, it appears
that the *erle* may now proceed according to the arrangement! made
by thtm.
A former member of the Ubyssey
staff has flnaUy and definitely arrived and virions of a like glory are
filling the minds of aU our present
day reporter*. Count Robert Key-
serllng, a U.B.C. graduate, has been
appointed editor-in-chief of the United press. The head-quarters of this
weU known International news gathering agency is in Berlin.
Count Keyserling or "Bob" aa he
waa known at the University is a
native of Latvia. His father was an
officer in the Russian navy. The
famUy fled to Shanghai when the
Russians collapsed during the World
Young "Bob" came to B.C. where
he had many varied experience* including a life in a logging camp and
a long speU fishing with Norwegians
on the west coast of Vancouver Island. He also founded and published
for a short time an international review before ht entered the University. He was recognized hero as a
youth of more than ordinary talent
and was widely popular. He was a
member of the Publications Board.
C. Q. T.C*   SHOOT
Hie foUowing are the score* for
the second Inter .university shooting
J. F. Dawe  97
L. M. Stewart   98
D. M. Smith  d 96
Lt. V. Southey  98
Col. H. F. LeUon   94
W. J. Tbugh    94
R. J. Wilson    93
J. S. Beeman  92
W. E. Mclnnes  92
A.  Guthrie   92
Total    941 Page Two
Fridfy, March 3,1983-
(Member C.I.P., P.LP.A.)        Telephone: Point Orey KM
Issued twice weekly by tiie Student PubUcations Board
of the Alma Mater Soritty of tho Unlverdty of British
Columbia, Vancouver, B.C,
Mail Subscriptions: $2,00 per ytar
Campus Subscriptions: $1.00 per year
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF-F. St John Madeley
Tuesday! Stuart Keate Friday) Norman Hacking
Sport Edlton Day Washington'
Newt Manager: Francet Lucas
Associate Editor*: Archie Thompton and John Cornish
Associate Sport Editors! Arnold White, Christie Fletcher
Literary Edlton Kay Croaby Feature Editor Ouy Palmer
Asristaat Editor*: Jack Stanton, Zoo Brownt-Cltyton,
Boyd Agnew, David Jacobton
Exchange Editor: Nancy Mlltt
Frte Lancttt E. J. Costain and A. Mayse
Office AasUtentJ Janet Higginbotham.
Gerald Provost, Daisy MtoNelll Murray Hunter, Kay
Sport: Jimmy Moyes, Colin Milnt, TtdJSUktaaon, Dick
Briggs, Howard Jontt, Harry Jackson, Dick Bison, Joan
Root, Paul KosooUn.
Editor. Pat Kerr
Aiiodate Edltorst Virginia Cummings and Ltona Nelson
Asristaat*: Ruth Madelty and Hedley S. Fowler
Businis* Manageri Rig. Price.
Circulation Manageri J. Balcombt.
Circulation Asststaato C. Tompkinson, Alex Wood and
Apes and Ivory
By Arthur Mayse
Reports have been received in the Office
of the Ubyssey of thieving from overcoats hung
in the Ubtary basement.
It teems rather a pity that such a fine body
of men and women as exist at this University
should have to harbor within their midst, petty
thieves and such nice fellows.
Not only is the practice deplorable from an
ethical standpoint, but from the standpoint of
the hobo—no hobo would ever steal from the
members of his own group.
It rather forces us to the conclusion that
gome university studenta are worse than
tramps and their companions.
Reports are also current concerning the
continued theft of money and clothing apparel
from lockers in the Gymn. In many cases
lockers are forced open, despite locks. This
practice has been going on ever since the
Gym. wag opened.
It is rather difficult to know Just exactly
what ahould be done in thia case, but let it be
definitely known that the Ubyssey will not
heaitate to publish the name of any student
who is caught doing such a detestable thing.
This action will be taken regardless of what
the discipline committee does in the matter.
The Ubyssey will be glad to receive from
any student, confidential information concerning any thefts either in the library or the Gymn.
to its editor, so that action may be taken.
Tonight the Women's Undergraduate Society is sponsoring the sixth annual Co-ed
Ball in the Auditorium. The path of negotiations for this Ball has been by no means easy
from the standpoint of the executive of the
organization. Trade Unions, and fate seem to
have combined to make the event a failure.
Despite all this trouble the executive have
gone ahead, enthused by their objective—the
Women's Union Building. It is up to every
co-ed who has it within her means, to give the
executive the support they deserve and make
the Ball a financial success.
Realizing that some women may feel diffident about asking men at this late date, we tatye
it upon ourselves to asusre them (the women)
that the men will be only too glad to accept.
Peter isn't a very good hiker. I found this
out on Saturday night, when I took him up
Seymour with me. He made a brave enough
show on the ferry, swaggering about in his
new sweater with my ski-poles on his shoulder;
but when we started the up-trail, he began
to complain. The anow hurt his feet, and an
unlucky tumble landed him up to his ears in
the creek that was frothing down the middle
of the Dog Mountain skid. So I lifted the
little ape to my packboard, and after that we
got along very well, with Peter holding the
"bug" and steering me by the ears as I floundered on.
At my cabin, though, he showed himself
distinctly useful, especially in the matter of
catching mice. In fact, I made him mouse-trap
tender, and before we turned in, he had nine
mice to his credit, enough for a tasty Sunday
On Sunday, he made himself snowahoes
from a pair of plhteg, and together we went on
a ramble to the new Seymour Sixteen, the
big cabin visible from town, close to the Dog's
Head on Seymour. And, swinging along
through the timber, we held a council of war.
"Contributions," I said, "are falling away.
I suppose you know, Peter, that we haven't
enough for another week? What then?"
"We shall carry on," said Peter firmly. "By
ourselves, if need be. If they can stand it we
can, Bill."
With things settled, we returned to the
cabin (Peter riding on the back of my skis because he was tired) to our succulent stew of
FITS ^e   .
"Little Benny' 'is sure happy now
he got that bid to the "Co-ed" with
. . . . well, guess who?
«   »   »
"My Gawd, It's tht house," roared
what tnamourad fratman, who had
called what ht thought wtt tht telephone number of the "one and only,"
and connected up with tho brother*
instead.   Now the Fiji* have a new
•  •  •
The History Dtpartmtnt is wondering what it's all about; anyway,
that wat a good speech on De Valera.
You look at mo from wide grey eye*
And with adoring gast a tela btttoch;
I, In the ttory-teUtr't happy gulst
Weave wees of fancy, whUt Uke any leech
You ding to every word and ask for more.
You do not know tht happinttt you bring
Whtn your child-fancy ltavtt ajar tho door
Of fairyland to my imagining.
Your* it a docile mind In my control,
With imtgtry and deep conjecture rife;
Mine It the InteUtct in tetchtr"* role
That guidot your pondering, that quell* tht drift
Which enter*, now and thtn .your boyith toul—
Btcauat of you I have an aim in life.
—Ernttt Cottaln.
The decision of Al Hardy and his Burrard
basketeers to refuse the students the right to
stage some of the playoff series on their own
gym. floor comes as rather a blow to all right-
thinking students. For two years the money-
grubbers down town have used the high grade
of ball dished up by the Blue and Gold boys
as a drawing card to fill the coffers of the
owners of the V. A. C. gym; most of the shareholders of the gym. are on the executive of
both* Canadian Rugby and basketball leagues,
with the result that Varsity gets the muddy end
of the stick in most cases.
It is time that something was done about
this. It is rather unfortunate that such a situation has arisen now, but the action taken by
the students today is the fairest one that could
have been taken.
Christ, mindful of His own bitter agony,
Gripped His betrayer's' hand: "Judas, my friend,
Come back forgiven to the friends—and Me."
That night there were candles meUowlng the gloom,
Wine drunk ln happiness, bread without leaven
As it had been once in the Upper Room—
And Judas, pardoned, shared their feast in heaven.
Readers of H. L. Mencken's "American
Mercury" will find an interesting announcement tucked away at the back, in the A. A.
Knopf advertisement. It deals with the condition of that paper at the end of last year.
In tones scarcely hiding boastful triumph,
and fully conscious of the irony of it all, news
is divulged to an eager publikum that the
"Mercury" is almost unique among American
magazines in closing the third year of Our
Lord Depression with a profit and a comparatively respectable subscription list. And, indeed, 47,000 readers, all paying, are nothing
to sneeze at, especially in the case of "an un-
illustrated review sold at a high price, and
making no compromise with popular ideas."
In connexion with this announcement, we
are once more tempted to muse aloud at the
relative ease with which we find this magazine
in the Library periodical room. Students seem
to.prefer reading biochemical journals and
even text-books to this cheerfully informative
periodical. It can hardly be that they buy
their own copies at fifty cents!
Incidentally, we have been rather struck
by the number of "Ubertys" lying around the
common room; is Mencken finding that he has
to compete against this journal on the campus?
In any case, we congratulate Messrs.
Mencken and Knopf upon their success, and
hope that it will extend to this part of the country. For this periodical, in the short time that
it has been appearing, has exerted an incalculable influence towards the dissipation of
foolish, deeply-placed prejudices and the
pricking of hot-air bubbles that have been
ornamenting this country in the past. Its pages
have not only been always well-written, but
also interesting and serious, and have served as
a guide and a corrective to the illuminati,
thereby preventing them from contamination
by the various "isms."
Naturally this is neither the time nor the
place to review the accomplishments of this
journal, but we can recommend it once again
to the dull for the vigorous mental massaging
it will give them, and to the enlightened for
the knowledge and pleasure they can tap from
its pages.
—D. R.
"Christ, for old friendship's sake !" The voice broke
• In a cry,
And He, walking alone in the waste place
Forced path tiirough nettle and brier, and hurrying nigh
Gazed with aU pity upon the haggard face.
And for old friendship's sake, Christ stretched His hand
And raised him, Judas, sunk in grief and fear
And He walked with him there in that lost land,
Talked with him, and oh the voice of Christ was dear!
He spoke with him of quiet, simple things
(So word of betrayal, none of hate)
Speech such as they had in other, wistful springs
Twelve who were friends, and Christ the Immaculate.
Thus for a little space; and at the end,
Editor, Ubyssey,
Dtar Sir:
Permit mt through tht mtdlum of
your valuable paptr to bring to tht
attention of tho student body the utter lack of courtesy that was shown
recently by tho management of thc
Senior City Canadian Rugby squad
through thdr misuse of the Upper
Playing Field and its properties.
This field is primarily sot aside
for tht ust of tht Soccer Club whom
numbers look after its upksep.
Gracing ont of lti goal-posts Is a nst
which was donated by a former Varrity professor. However, when some
officials of tho Club Ingpoctcd tht
Arid on Wednesday they found that
thi* ntt had been puUtd down and
draggtd aridt, with aU Its wirts,
pea* etc., so tangled up that lt took
thott ptopli a good half-hour to
•olvt tht puuVt.
the Canadian Rugby Club management had no more right to tear
down that not than a casual visitor
to the Library would bave of tearing
down tht ott-paintingt from ite walla
Mortovtr, thty to marked out tho
field that tho original touch-llnot, if
not obliterated, are now only too
easily confused. This fact will bt
of Uttle help when a soccer league
match wiU bo played on this field
May I point out that tho Soccer
Club does not mind other clubs using
its field, but that It does mind having its property damagtd.
Sincerely yourt,
Capt. Sr. Soccer
Just an old Scottish
No, they're not arguing over
the game. It'i only a case of
Sandy trying to pry Mac
loots from his last Turret.
"I'll no gi' such a bonny
smoke to any impecunious
Scot/' seys Mac. "But I'll
strike a bargain wi' ye. One
lone drag for a dime, and if
it's no the mildest, smoothest,
smoke ys have ever had, I'll
Si* ye your money back."
10 for 10*
10 for t0*
IS fortS*
-end I* Hot ttai of
rlfty one one hundred
Quality and Mildness
it r re t
Claw and Club  ]
Editor, Ubyssey,
Dear Sir:
AUow me to congratulate you on
the funniest Item to adorn the Muck
Page for many months. I refer to
an advertisement ln the last Issue
emanating from our local philanthropic transportation company.
Beneath a portrait of a particularly vUlalnou* individual, who
looked Uke a pal of Chang Suey,
was a piece of charming naivety
which should place ite author among
the immortal humorists of all time.
We were told that thott wtak-wUltd
ttudtnt* who accept lift* from pasting motorittt are nothing len than
"robbers in disguise."
As a trtqumt "robber in disguise"
I wish first to txprets my gratitude
to thott many motorlata who art so
kind as to, give rides to studtnte
thty find waiting patitntly on street
I also wish to thank the bus company for the various red museum
pieces with which they occarionaUy
dutter up the boulevard. It is a
delightful experience these cold
morning* to watch these lumbering
buses proceed on their noisome career, leaving numeroua studtnts to
thiver on tht corners. On thott odd
occasion* when these elephantine
vehicles do condescend to stop at
Tolmie or Blanca streets, it require*
superhuman effort* to squeeze even
the most inconspicuous of freshmen
into their subterranean recesses.
I am quite sure that these conveyances served their purpose admirably
for the carrying of troops in the
Boer War, but even a sardine tin
eventually" outlives Its usefulness.
I remain,
Major Scudamore wUl speak on
"Uth Century Portrait Painter*" at
tho next muting, which wiU be hdd
on March 8th at 1Mb Matthewp Avium. Tht tpttktr has done much research on this subject ,and a large
turn-out is expected at this, tho stc-
ond-lsst meeting ef the term.
V. c. u.
Owing to tho muting on "Technocracy" hold In the auditorium on
Wedneaday noon, tht Unlon't regular
open mooting to bo addrisstd by Dr.
W. M. Robtrtton of the Metropolitan
Tabtrnaolt, waa postponed to next
Wednesday, March 8, when all students are cordially weloomo to come
and hear thia eloquent and forceful
speaker on the subject: "The Bible-
the Book that Bites."
Application* for membership hi the
Classics Club may now be written
to Mr. James Stobie, Secretary. Thoae
studenta who intend taking Latin or
Greek courn* ln 3rd or 4th year* are
Prospective member* are Invited to
attend the laat meeting to be held Mar.
21st at the home of Mr. Logan.
What People
Are Saying
Dr. Topptng-I don't believe In birth
control I believe In self oontrri.
Same Guy~Blhct the British have
in India   the population   has
Linotype Operator-Ont ticket to
India, ploaatl .
Dr. Vanco-Don't call me Bill, Pm
not buUt that way.
Freddy Wood—I wont to look at
Mary for a while.
Betty Wtltoni to Sidney Risk)- I'm
NOT a Uttle girl.
Audrey Hughie- I gu*tt maybe'ite
Ruth Madeley—ru be darned, who't
stoltn my lunch? Whore is St John?
Dr. Topping—We aren't to food at
Dr. Bedgewick-Afttr all, you can't
go to your wife and say, 'Mary, havt
you been unfaithful?'
MUt Owen—March came in Uke a
a lamb, but it can't puU any wool
over our eye*.
B1U Birmingham—Everybody around
me went out.
Editor, Ubyssey,
Dear Sir:
On behalf of the Women'* Undergraduate Executive 1 wish to request
the co-operation and support of the
students In the matter of the orchestra for the Co-ed Ball, and to explain the executive's action.
It wUl be admitted that the Auditorium is the only place large
enough to hold this function. Unfortunately it Is Impossible to engage a union orchestra to play in
this building. Hence the executive
was forced, through no fault of its
own, to engage a non-union band.
We ask aU those who wiU be present tonight then, to remember the
difficulties which we have had to
face and to judge us accordingly.
We feel however, that a sympathetic
attitude towards the orchestra itself
wUl help greatly.
Yours very truly,
Sec'y. W.U.E.
AppUcatlons for membership in La
Canadienne wUl be received by the
•ecretery, Mitt K. M. Greenwood any
timt during tht next two week*. Mem-
btrship it open to aU atudtntt who
are entering thtir third or fourth
ytar and intending to continue their
studies in French.
tlie annual combined meeting of
theta thru French club* wtil bt hdd
Tuttday, March 7, at tha homt of
Catherine Martin, 1231 Cadero Street,
at 8 p.m. The executive* are planning
an enjoyable programme with an Interesting addrett from Dr. Evan* and
request that aU members make a apodal effort to attend.
Engagement Rings
Wttchtt - Signet Ringi • Class
Pins • Fret Emblems • Fountain
Fena . Birthday Cardi • Bridge
There will be a meeting of the
Big Block Club today at noon ln
Arte 106.
One red  doth hat.     Will  finder
pleaae return to Book Store.
"Just Whtrt til* But Stops"
Pt. Grey 87, Night Calls Elliott 1108
4479 W. TOnth Ave, Van., B. C.
Manuscripts, Essays, Them, Etc.
Mimeographing, French
For many years this has
been the rendez-vous of a
large majority of the students of U. B. C.
Tasty  Dishes,  Attractive
Dining Room, Superior
722 Granville Street
FOUND - In vicinity of Applied
Sdence BuUdlng—92. Apply Book
University Book Store
Houra; 8 a.m. to 8 p.m.; Saturday*, 8 un. to 1 p.m.
Loose-Leaf Note Books, Exercise Books and Scribblers
at Reduced Prices
Graphic and Engineering Paper, Biology Paper.
Loose-Leaf Refills, Fountain Pens and Ink.
Ink and Drawing Instruments.
Crepe Paper for Masquerades, etc.
. Friday, March 3,1933
Page Three
Who waa tha Freshman who
threatened to murder me If I didn't
atop writing thit column ... and
did he do it.. . what haa happened
to tiw flagrtaff .. , thtre tttmt to
bt fomtthing about it that isn't as
square as could be derired. Why is
tht riadium fence painted green .
bet you can't guts* ... no, it hat
nothing to do with Arte '38.
What member of Arte '88 recently
made a bet to twim the liy pond
at midnight... and who is tiie dastardly opponent who poured liquid
carbon dioxide on it at 11:88 to is
to freest it over again ... no relation
to Chang Suty. Have you hoard of tho
Scltnctman who loat his didt rule
... believe it or not, ho couldn't figure out how many lumps of sugar In
his coffee, nor the price of two bus-
tickets in terms of strctt-car tickets
.... his girl-frltnd can't figure out
why he doesn't phone her.
Contrary to rumor, tho man who
came in last in tht Arte '88 road race
was not running <dor tho Muok Staff
. .. certainly not, we won that tho
week before. And hero's a scoop ...
a fellow with the initials S. D. X.
left for South Africa yesterday at
twelve forty-nine ... .the date was
tho second.
And .... ttop thief!!!!! Somebody
stole tho air out. of our tiros.....
will they kindly put It back before
next Tuesday night.
If the gentleman who borrowed a
black Sheaffer pen from my coat on
Wtdnetday, February 22nd, in tht
gymnasium, wiU Inform me as to his
name, I will be very glad to give him
tho remainder of the set He may bt
glad to know that thia ttt was a
birthday present and valued aa audi;
however, if ht really thinks that ha
needs it more than I do, let him come
and collect. But please do something!
Science '33
P. S. — Also a Polyphase Duplex
slide-rule, borrowed from the Forestry
Lab. on Tuesday, between 2 and 3
We are equipped to take
the pictures of
groups.   Special rates to
University societies
833 Granville St.
Phone Sey. 5737
Popular Rendezvous for
All Student Functions
Tea Dansant*
Class Parties
SEY.   5742
Co-Co Conquers
The Depression
Down in th* Caf. tother day I
heard aomeono talking about the do-
prttrion.   This is serious.
Wt of the Muok Staff had not realised than was a depression. How-
tvtr, now that we are cognisant of
the horror, wo wish to offer a few
words of comfort to those whoso
morale has boon undtrmlntd.
, Confides your benefits. Tht Spring
Unmintionablis are stUl six wooks
In the future—just around tht cor-
nor, in fact, you might say. Huh!
wiVa hoard that one before.
Then Spring. Beautiful Spring.
Tho leaves, tht birds, tho flowers—
by tht way, the flowtrt are out. You
know what a flower Is, don't you?
Then I needn't ttop to explain, even
If I had th* timt, which I haven't
1 Dot* it cost money to look at the
ltavtt and tht birds and tiie flowtrt?
You know what a bird is, don't you?
Ont htad, one body, two wings-
yt*, I thought you know.
I havt a very simple romtdy for
tho Dtpritrion. I could probably
tell this idea to politicians for millions of dollars, but Just to show
you tht noblt dipthi of my soul, I
shall present lt, positively gratia, to
tho Univsrsity. They can do what
thty like with it. Thty can even
put it in the Museum if thty likt.
I shan't mind.
My scheme is this. Got ready. Hero
comt* a bright idta. Fire tht entire
poUce force . At rimple at all that.
But foUow tho miandering — you
know what miandering meant? —
good. FoUow tht meandering* and
ramifications of this step.
The police force is fired. What
happen*?—Crime Start* To Pay. I
mean, there wUl be more burglariet.
Ye*, and then what happens? Easy
Come, Easy Go. All this stolen
money will go into circulation again,
And I have been told—though thi*
may be some subtle joke—that If
more money circulates, there will be
less depression.
But you may object to being
robbed. Tuskatuaka. It* the banks
that wiU be robbed. Its still my
money, you m_y object. (By the way,
you know what money is, I presume?
—little round, flat, brown things,
With "One Cent" on them . . . ?
Oh', ye*, you were objecting to
being robbed, weren't you? WeU,
let me tell you this, the burglars
will go after banks and spend thousands of dollars. It may bo some of
your money In tht robbed bank?
Well, moat of you are too d . . .m
scared to take tt out anyway.
By tiie way, you know what a
bank is, don't you—Its something
that runs along the edge of a river.
So my advice is to put your money
ln a bank, and fire the poUce force
... by the way, you know what a
police force is, don't you ... ?
(  Correspondence
The Muck Editor, Ubyhoo,
Dear Sir:
I am in a fearful dUimma. I havt
received two bids for tho Co-ed tnd
am uncertain aa to which ont to accept. Both young ladle* who havt
"popped th* question" are so nice I
hate to disappoint either one of
thtm. Shall I refuse both invitation* or accept both and then let tht
girls fight it out? Oh, please tell
mo what to do, Mr. Editor.
Yours, btfuddltdly,
Dear Claude McSnosrit:
Your Idea of the survival of tht
fittest is a good thing in its way, but
I don't think the young loddles
would appreciate your method of
overcoming Hie difficulty. You might
try letting Cyrius do Screpansle and
myself accept the bids. I'm sure thc
girl* would be ddlghted, especially
th* lucky one that doesn't get Mr.
do S. Again you might allow tho
girls to each take a half oi you to
tiw Co*d. Of count the main difficulty in this cast Is tho fact that
I really don't know how much of
you is then now ... perhaps the
girl* may have to take one quarter
of you to tiie hop, who knows. And
there Is always a better half, or
quarter at tht cast may be In fact
you have raised a vary tricky question. If I wen you, I would insure
myself and then accept both bids.
By this method at least your family
wiU benefit.
Youn quliricaUy,
We read that in the Turkish language, which hag recently
adopted the English alphabet, there is no "Q", "W" or "X."
* Juat think of this. No Witnesses when you commit a crime.
No Wrangling with your Wife . . in fact, no Wives. No Wetness
in the atmosphere. No War . . and even if there was, you couldn't Win. There couldn't he any depression, because there would
be no Wolves to camp on people's door-steps. And imagine trying to enforce Prohibition in a land destitute of Water. Pic-
niecers would be safe from Wasps. But how could college lads
Write home for mazuma? They couldn't even Wire.
Thia may look funny to you, but the Turk can't call it
Qtieer. But think of the Utopia where the newspapers couldn't
quote politicians. And no Quarrels either. The disadvantages
of never having a Quarter is offset by the impossibility of there
being any exams. Nor even a Quiz. They couldn't even ask
yoU Questions in clasg. But, of course, you would have to go
to a noisy library, since there is no Quiet. But best of all is
the fact that there would be no Work! The Turk can do no
Jacoby Bros.
423 Hamilton Street
Manufacturing   Jewellers
Class Pins, Emblems,
Graduation Rings, Medals,
and Prise Cups
Let's Visit EUROPE this Summer!
"The Modern Idea In Travel"
Educational Vacations offers you a method of heightening your en-
oyment of the Old World... Educational Vacation Tours are Not mere
academic pilgrimages. They are Vacation Tours planned in such a
way that they are more worthwhile . . . more pleasureable than a
mere trip abroad.
Four Personally Conducted Tours, 25 members to each tour.
Fares Include AU Expenses from Vancouver to British
Isles, through Europe and Return.
14 Countries — 64 Days- Cost $725.00
Leaves Vancouver June 29 — Returns August 31
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Leaves Vancouver July 2 — Returns August 22
For fuU information call or write to
Editor, Mudc Page,
Dear Sir:
It has occurred to mc that in this
time of stress then are many ways
of cutting down expense right here
on our own campus . Hero an a few
For example lt seems to mo that
needless labour Is expended In collecting waste paper. If there were
two waste baskets in every room Instead of one, the waste would only
have to be collected every second
day. Again I see no reason why the
caf staff ahould not collect the lunch
papers direct from the class rooms
in the soup can instead of'collecting
them into the waste baskets, then
Into the garbage cans and finally
into the soup. Speaking of soup, I
am sure the same Ingredients could
be used as well three weeks as two,
and tho odd science man would be
as tasty a flavouring as the old
horses now used.
Students could co-operate In the
library by furnishing their own camp
stools and tables. If they would make
a point also of bringing their own
reference books It would save wear
and tear and consequently expense.
In fact why use the library at all,
why not study In the grass and save
heating expense?
Tho ink supplied gratis in the Administration Building is a snicking
extravagance. A simple concoction
of rhinoceros gizzard, toast crumbs,
apricot skins and old tires ia equally
I am frequently astounded at the
selfishness of people who can take
their ease in the bus stand in such
times as these. At this rate the
benches will certainly be worn out
within the next hundred years. Remember your Varsity spirit and stand
up while you wait, remembering
meanwhile that too much shuffling
Is hard on the concrete.
In closing I would like to suggest
that if excessively homely students
would refrain from looking at the
clocks the repair bills would be con-
By S. Elliot (W. Cameron)
Wo an tho garbage men
We an the mum men
Cleaning together
Ashcans filled with dung. Alas!
Our loud noises, when
We shovel together
An quite meaningless
So let this lino pass
Or come down and with us splash
In our wine cellar
Waste without loss, grief without
Syatemlaed chaos, salvo without lotion;
Those who have passed
In shiny ears, with big chsuffoun in
Remember us—if at all—not aa good
Government workers, but only
As the garbage men
The muss men.
And In reply to tiw Limerick contest has come tho following verses
in an envelope marked "Department
of Dairying" ao wo take it that tho
letter Is from a fraternity pledge
or Janitor.
There was a young man from Madrid
Who came to Vancouver, he did.
He registered hero,
And he drank steins of beer,
Till ho got a Fraternity bid.
Then once was a Muck man called
Who ate apples all day on a hill.
One night ho remarked,
When he saw a car parked,
"Why, St. John comes over here
This Is the bad land
This Is the circus land
Here big elephants
An raised, hen they receive
Plenty of fodder from the fat of the
To make children laugh, though gar-
bagemen are sad.
It is like this
When wo'n fresh out of income?
Making a loan
At the hour when we an
Economically in a moss
Bunk just like this
Forms layers of a hokum 'pome*.
The horses are not hen
Then an no hones hero
In this alley oi motor can
In this asphalt alley
This feeder lane of our best highways
In this worst of eating places
We mope together
And avoid spinach
Or dishwater coffee with soggy leaden
Bilious, unless
The Enos are near
This has gone too far
As an imbecile pose
When fresh out of Income
The dope only
Of garbagemen.
Ah phooey, what's the use—
thanx   thee,   0   Unknown
Between the floorboards
And the keel
Falls the bilge
I'm Fresh Out of Income
Between tho sky
And tho earth
Falls the rain
Hils Is Getting Long   .
Between the fourth
And tho second
Falls the third
I'm Fresh Out ot Income
Oh hum
I feel sleepy
Life is funny that way
Boom boom Uh huh
Famous Lives Of
Infamous People
"I first saw the light of day in
the daytime," confessed Merton to
your co-respondent in a sobbing interview the other day, "and from
that moment on I was destined to bo
a great man. My first infantile wail
was 'a pun of high calibre, for I
gurgled out "Mlug sttf," which meant
"Muck Staff." Judge of my surprise when my mother replied,
"Dldums itsy bitsy Bobo want
mama." Roaring in agony, for lt
seems I must be misunderstood all
my life, I caused quite a commotion
for a while, until I had sufficient
attention. I simply revel In attentions from women."
"But do not be misled," he wont
on, "I wore all tho latest stylos and
so my popularity was deservedly
earned. Ghandl and I had much in
common then, tho only difference
bring that Mr. Ghandi won glasses.
I- was the possessor of a wonderful
complexion, and only used Lifebuoy
soap, although I have discontinued
the um, as you may have noticed.
Alas, I wish I wu a child again."
"My early youth wm featured by
triumph after triumph In the realms
of marbles. I wm International
Marble Champion for throe years,
after which time I wm forced to re-
tin from the game owing to a
sprained epidermis or epiglottis, I'm
not sure which. At this period of
my life I started to grow. I am not
quite certain m to whether or not
I have stopped yet, but my family
hopes so."
"But in my manhood I reached tho
peak of my career. It wm at this
period of my life that I wm elected
Muck Editor. Seniors bowed down
to mo, Junion crawled in abject
humiliation before mo, Sophomores
kowtowed to me, and Freshmen and
especially FnshettM worshipped me.
At this time I read "Johnson's life
of Merton" with great pleasure, and
noticed how closely our Ufa stories
dovetailed. As I have not lived much
longer than my early manhood, I am
afraid that this is all I can tell you,
although I just love talking about
myself. Call around ln ten years or
so, and I'll tell the butler to let you
hi so you can get a really good
At this period in his life Merton
lapsed into a state of' coma and
wailed out, "Coma round later when
I'm not so busy."
Have you heard the Ichabod song?
"Ichsbod time "
First Sclenceman: "What did Julius
Caesar say when Brutus stabbed
Second Ghandi: "Ho sneered."
First Ditto: "What do you mean,
Second Great Unwashed: "Ho said
'Achoo Brute!'"
And then then wm the Scotsman
who didn't wash the baby in Lux so
it wouldn't* grow out of its clothes.
LOST—Slide-rule. Return to F. Rogers
or Book Store.
siderably lessened.
I remain yours sincerely,
Get Your ^w_^|
Man!       aC
Is This an Ad for the R.C.M.P.?
NO.' It Simply Means that You
should ask Him to
***** chocolate** Trac
March 11 & 15
fi_* _ *
Two mammoth track meets are
scheduled for fans of the cinder oval
on March 11, and 18. Heavy practicing has boon the order of the day,
and thi stridors are all prepared to
write a snappy finis to the year's
For tho last two months tho men
have been turning out tor bi-weekly
workouts, and the large attendance
at these practice speaks volumes
tor the popularity of tho summer
sport on the campus.
Thirty or forty budding distance
men, sprinters, jumpen, weight men
ami field men have boon the rule
rather than the exception at these
indoor turnduts. Tbe fact that many
d the boys an Just taking up the
sport for tiie first time is particularly encouraging.
The Track Club has been very
fortunate la obtaining tho services
of Harold Wright, Canadian Olympic
ate, wfcoM knowledge of every
branch of the sport is proving invaluable. Wright hM been able to
give the futun Metcalfes, Wykoffs
and Treplnnoe tlie benefit of his ex-
periencM In some of' the biggest
track moot* ever staged on tho North
American continent Then is every
likriyhood too, that Harold will himself run in Mme of tiw meets to be
stags-,' If ho gets a decent track at
all than Is no reason why Ralph
Thomaif century record of 10 1-5 see.
should not go by the board.
Aaotl^er big attraction will bo the
debut d Sid Swift in the cinder
game. Sid, a powerful distance runner, has had phenomenal sucoom tn
the road raorn staged by tiw Track
dub, winning two and helping to
win the third. Many of his f ollowan
w teem * "^"fw   ^(pep^^e      P^f^PBT    W~i   ^smetm ww^sm^ww*^
are anxious to see what he can do on
this oval over tiie one and three mile
routs*, but be vrll have his work
cut out to hotter l* C. Allen and
Herb Barclay, two of fie better distance men in the provln. \
•  r •
Haddon Agnew, husky sh.t and
discuss man, Is at present recovering
from serious illness and will not be
out to garner his usual quota of
points for the Blue and Gold. Keith
Hedreen and Dick Farrington, big
four bruisers of repute, will be Appearing, the former as a distance
man, and the latter in the javelin
throw. Jack Steele, fair-haired Commerce boy, is leaving the bar up at
five and a half feet, and should bear
watching, although his style is still
Reg. Price, Tennis Club president,
announces an arrangement whereby
all students wishing to see William
Tilden II and his troupe of professional tennis players, who are appearing at the Horseshow BuUdlng on
March 8, may obtain tickets at the
very special rate of 75c. An entire
section (about 100 seats), hM been
reserved for the students, and it is
hoped that a large number will take
this unique opportunity of seeing
Tilden in action.
All those wishing to go please pay
78c by 2 o'clock, Monday, to Reg.
Price, Colin Milne, Harold Lando,
or Margaret Little. Tha tickets must
be obtained Monday by 3:00 o'clock
and will then be given out to those
paying the 75c. No tickets will be
available after this time, so if you
want to go, act now.
You Can Do
No Better
than to fill your sporting
goods requirements at
Sparling's, where you are
assured of absolute satisfaction at the lowest prices
consistent with quality.
George Sparling
939 Granville St.
Senior 'B' Lose
Final Game
To Grads
The Normal Grads managed to
beat Varrity for tho second time in
succession to win tbe playoffs In the
Senior "B" division of tho V. and D.
league with a 41-88 score. Varsity
were the favorites and almost everybody expected to see them take the
Teachers quite easily, but they wen
badly off form In tiie last two games.
Ufa Blue and Gold squad play
their best on a largo floor and they
had difficulty in getting under way
on the small gym at Xing Bd, If
they had beaten tiie Orads on Monday night they would have played
the final game at VAC, mid chanoM
are they would have won quite
easily. This win givm Normal thi
right to play tho winners of tho
Lower Mainland title.
Site Onde were on the aggressive
the whole game and the Varrity defence wm weak. The Teachers on
tho other hand checked very cIom
while our boys failed to work
the ball under the basket in their
usual styls. McDonald wm high
scorer tor Varrity. and Prlngle alao
turned in a good game on the forward lino. Lucm played hla usual
steady game at guard. ThomM and
McKenrie divided scoring honors on
the other team with 10 points apiece.
His gazoo started fast with McDonald scoring the first two points
for Varsity. Macleod quickly fol-
lowed this with another basket. The
Grads soon evened this Up and the
fight wm on. In this first half it
wm anybody's game, both teams
working hard tor all the points they
got. Tho period ended with Varrity
on the short end of a 17-J8 soon.
Macleod who had boon replaced by
Sutton in the first half, came on
again to relieve Prlngle. Lucas
moved up to centre. Varrity ran in
5 pointa In quick order to gain the
lead, but Normal soon after forged
ahead again. Towards the end of
the period the Grads began to shoot
like demons and ran In nine successive points to give themselves a
five point edge. Prlngle came on
again for Macleod. Two men on the
Normal team went off on personals
in the last minute of play. Webster
scored on a long shot from centre
but the Grads managed to net another two points just m the whistle
Varsity—McDonald (14), Macleod
(3), Lucas 7), Prlngle (8), Sutton
(4), Webster (2), Bolton, Stockvis.—
Normal Grads—Thomas (10), McKenrie (10), Johnston (6), Grant
(8), Hardy (3), Moore (2), Mclaughlin   (4),  Brown.-il.
Shnttleri la Win
Over Westminster
New Westminster's badminton entry in the V. and D. "B" section
bowed down to a determined band
of Students last Monday night on the
Varrity floor. The filial score was
Pat Cowan distinguished himself
{by participating in four victories.
Margaret Palmer shared his glory
in the Mixed Doubles, while Paul
Kozoolin, substituting for Jack
Sparks, assisted him in the Men's
Doubles. Detailed results follow,
Varrity players being first mentioned.
Miss H. Palmer and K. Atkinson
lost to Miss Dockrill and D. Peers
4-15, 6-15; beat Miss Vernon and T.
H. Ryan 15-0, 7-15, 15-6.
Miss M. Lock and O. Lacey beat
Miss Vernon and T. H. Ryan 8-15,
15-12. 15-3; lost to Miss Dockrill and
D. Peers 5-15, 8-15.
Miss M. Palmer and P. Cowan beat
Miss Bryer and Burnett 16-18, 15-1,
15-5; beat Miss Madill and Cotton
18-16, 15-11.
Miss E. Glee and P. Kozoolin beat
Miss Madill and Cotton 15-7, 15-6;
lost to Miss Bryer and Burnett 15-9,
9-15, 11-15.
Misses M. Lock and M. Palmer lost
to Misses Bryer and Dockrill 0-15,
0-15; beat Misses Vernon and Madill
10-15, 18-14, 15-11.
Misses H. Palmer and E. Gleed lost
to Misses Vernon and Madill 15-6,
6-15, 7-15; lost to Misses Bryer and
Dockrill 5-15, 13-18.
Lacey and Atkinson beat Cotton
and Peers 16-17, 15-10, 17-14; lost to
Burnet and Ryan 12-15, 11-15.
Cowan and Kozoolin beat Burnett
and Ryan 11-15, 15-4, 15-4; beat Cotton and Peers 17-14, 15-13.
Varsity Scullers Set For
Annual Regatta Saturday
Senior Eight to Meet V.R.C.
Races Start sX 2:30 Punctually1 Many Events
To Be Run Off
Arts and Science Meet in Traditional Tilt
Saturday at two-thirty the annual
Varrity Rowing Club Regatta will get
under way at the Vancouver R. C.
dub House at Coal Harbor. Contests
will be run off between the two clubs
and also the regular racM with Varsity teams npnsenting both factions.
Many thrilling finishes are promised,
especially In the Senior Bight event,
which Is tho main attraction of the
afternoon's performance.
All crews are asked to be ready to
the float fifteen mlnutee baton
the time scheduled for race.
Starting at 1:30 the three Varsity
novice teams will battle out an elimination race, the two winnon of which
will race again at 3:45 to decide tho
affair.  Following tho eliminations for
tho novief fdun will come those of the
gnenster singles, finals to take place
at throe o'clock.
At 3:10 the Varsity doubtas teams of
Pratt and Brown, and Do MUle and
Allan will run off a sudden-death
race, which* suppoood to be a grudge
affair. The next big race after titis
will bo tho sculling version of the tea-
ditional Blue-Rod fugd, that has ex-
tended bach through the agM to time
immemorial, the Arts-Science brawl
Tliis Is ehedulod f«?r four-fifteen, and
will bo between the following teams:
Arts: Stroke, Strain. Three, BlacbeUer.
Two, Clayton. Bow, E. Vlck. SeUoce:
Stroke, Brynrison. Three, Minns. Tfro,
West. Bow, Rorf. Strain, the president
of the Club, is confident of teading
Arts to yet another win, but Brynrison is equally hopeful for his Redshirts. Science has yet to register a
win in these clashes, having lost
the Rotary Relay and the Ice Hockey
series, but state that they are out to
break the slump they are In on Saturday.
Tackweight Fours, composed of two
Varsity teams, will get away at four-
thirty, and will be a fight to the death,
ea tiw winner of the affair will travel
to Brentwood for an Intercollegiate
race. After this has been decided the
big event of the meet, the Senior
Eight struggle between Varrity and
Vancouver Rowing Club will take
place, starting at 4:45. Although Vancouver has the advantage in that they
have had considerably greater experience, the Blue and Gold aggregation, coached by Doc. Rolston West,
an ex-Cambridge blue, an reputed
to have the edge in condition. For
the last couple of weeks they have
been turning out at seven every
morning, rain or shine, whereas tile
Clubbers have only a two-practice
week behind them. The outcome
should provide plenty of excitement
The teams will be as follows: Varrity,
Bow, West, Two, Puder, Three, Bry-
nelson. Four, Brown. Five, Strain. Six,
Locke. Seven, Allan. Stroke, Pratt.
Cox, Whitelaw. V. R. C: Joggard,
Hoffmarier, Farin, Klngsley, McDonald, Merritt, McKenrie, DeMille and
Of the Varsity team, Strain and
Locke are the only ones that have
raced before in regular competition,
having' rowed on Varsity eights for
the past four years. Pratt wiU be n-
membered for his work on last year's
Canadian Olympic team, Bruce Allan
was stroke when the Brentwood Four
won the fours even in the N. P. O,
Regatta not so long ago. The nst of
the team make up for lack of experience with plenty of enthusiasm.
An eight will be chosen, with tiie
nucleus of Saturday's team to journey to Seattle on March the eighteenth to compete with the University
of Washington in an intercollegiate
meet. Winning team in each of the
afternoon's events will be presented
with complimentary tickets for the
Delta Gamma Tea Dance, to be held
hi the clubhouse following the program. Admission is seventy-five cents
per couple, with Harold King aad
his gang furnishing the tempo. It is
scheduled to get under way at 4:30.
Nod Pratt, member of the Canadian
Olympic team will be seen tn action at tomorrow's Regatta. He will
partner Brown In tho doublM event
and should make tiie going plenty
tough tor deMllle and Allan, the Op?
position. Pratt will also bo seen hi
the Senior Bight struggle against the
Rowing Club and should contribute
greatly to the strength ot the Blue
and Gold team.
The Blue and Gold Senior City
Canadian Rugby squad will meet the
strong Ex-Magee aggregation at 2:30
on Saturday at Douglas Park.
With the close defeat of last Saturday staring the Collegians in the
face the gridmen are expected to put
up a good fight. In one sense their
defeat at the hands of the All-Blacks
wm a good thing in that they gained
experience and wen able to see
their weak points.
In tomorrow's conquest the University gridders will have strong opposition in the Ex-Magee pig-skin
carriers who possess a strong line
and an extremely tricky, secondary
line, and backfield. The U.B.C. men
possess a moderately strong line and
a very fast backfield.
It will be Interesting to note how
the stars of last week's game will
conduct themselves in the coming
struggle. As you will remember Ridland, one of the rookies of the team
displayed rare sense of judgement;
Poole wm excellent in his kicking,
and although EUett wm off form in
his kicking it is hoped that he will
be up to the mark thia Saturday.
The lineup: Crysdal, Symonds,
Thompson, Ellett, Ridland, SneUing,
Rader, Begg, Anderson, Holden, Moffat, Mckinley, Fyke.
AU women desiring to take part
in the lnter-class track meet March
15 please come to practice in the gym
on Tuesday 3-4 or Friday 2-4 br any
time on the track. Communicate
with Marjory Lang to arrange practices on the track.
U.B.C. Cagers
Win First Fray
By 2 Points
Down four pouits at the end
of the first half of the game
at V.A.C. gym last night, Varrity Senior "A" Hoopmen
wiped out the deficit early in
the second canto, and battled
point for point with the Sparling squad, untU the lut two
minutes, when they stepped
ahead with a basket and a
foul, to win 26-24.
This gives them a one game
advantage to take into Saturday night's game against the
Neither team played up to
standard, and the U.B.C. boys
can certainly offer up a prayer
to the Gods of luck.
Every Varsity player broke
into the scoring columns with
Hooker Wright throwing the
winning basket.
To Resume
On  Saturday
Seniors to Meet N. S. United;
Seniors to Engage ln Contest on   Campus With
Cottage Squad
Soccer gets under way Saturday
for both teams after a two month
lay-off for the Seniors and a three
month rest tor tho Juniors.. The
Senior squad fans their strongest
opponents, North 8hore United, in
an Imperial Cup first round contest
at McBride Park at 2:30, wnllo the
Juniors resume against Cedar Cot-
tags in a game on the Campus.
North Shore United arc one of the
strongest teams in the district and
have an unbeaten record so far this
year. However, in the last game
between those two teams, Varrity
held the North Shore squad to a
2-0 score and In the (minion of many,
deserved at least a draw. They wtil
be going all out to turn in the upset of the season, and the spectators
are assured of a fine contest.
Thia wtil be tho first game for tho
Blue and Gold outfit since Max
Legg loft just after ChristmM. It Is
expected that Rod McLeod wtil move
back from tiie half Una to BR the
space at left back. In this event, the
defence will line up with the old
dependable Frattinger between the
posts, crafty Millar McGiU at right
baric and McLeod on tho loft,
the strength of the team Is on tho
half line. Capt, Paul. KosooUn dl-
roots play from tho centre berth,
and usuaUy proves outstanding on
both offenn and defence. Hanking
him on the right will be B1U Wolfe,
the former centre half of the Regal
Qub, who Is an efficient play bnak-
or. On the loft Is Russ Stewart,
when dashing play Is effective In
most gauws.
Tbe forward line wiU remain much
tho same m In previous games.
Hughie Smith, the team's speed merchant, wiU hold down the right wing
position. Laurie Todd is tho probable choice for inside right, while
Otie Munday is certain to lead the
line from centre forward. The hard
driving Dave Todd wtil take the inside left job, while Costain is the
likely choice for left wing. Bud
Cooke will be in reserve.
A second arrangement of the forward line has been mooted as follows: Smith, right wing; Costain,
Inside right; Munday, centre forward;
Laurie Todd, Inside left and Dave
Todd, outride left. The final selection wiU be made and posted by
this afternoon.
Interclais Soccer
Knockout Series
Owing to the recent Inclement
weather, the Interclass Soccer League
hu postponed fulftiment of Its
schedule . In place of the regular
league schedule a knockout series
hM been inaugurated. The draw for
this series is as foUows:
(a) Arts '33 vs. Education.
(b) Sc. '36 vs. Arts '36.
(c) Sc. 35 vs. A.T.C.
(d) Arts '35 vs. Sc. '34.
(e) Sc. '33 vs. Arts '34.
(f) Winner of  (a)  vs. Winner of
(g) Winner of  (b)  vs. Winner of
Winner of (c) a bye.
(h) Winner of  (f)  vs. Winner of
Winner of (g) a bye.
Winner of   (g)   vs. Winner of
Interclass  Soccer   games   for   the
week beginning March 5 are as follows:
Monday,  March 6—Science '36 vs.
Arts '36—Noon.
Tuesday, March 7—Science '35 vs.
A.T.C.—3 p.m.
Thursday, March 9—Science
Arts '34-Noon.
Your Resporter
Play on Tuesday was uneventful,
getting away to a poor start on account of the late arrival of Education.
The first's game's play resulted in
another win for Arts '35 when they
defeated  Education.
The next two matches, however,
turned the tables on Arts '35 and '36.
Perhaps the least said about the
Tervian's defeat at this stage of the
game the better. It wm a aad affair.
After losing their first game of the
schedule way back last fall by one
point, 24-25, a strange coincidence
caused them to lose the first game
of their championship playoffs, also
by otie point, 34-33. Between those
two games existed a perfect record.
The next encounter of that final series saw them go down by three points,
so that they lost tho title by a meagn
four points, the equivalent of two baskets. Upsets such m this are perhaps
more common in the hoop gfcme than
in any other. Lady Luck dealt a cruel
blew in causing tills one—by such a
iMagn margin!
Dose Spolllngs
Long John Purves and his crew of
sporting-goods hoopsters have taken a
good hold on tho bit and wttl take
the floor with sot jaws in tho forthcoming playoffs against our Senior A
team for the championship of the Senior City League. WUl the Blue and
Gold take another on tiie chin? It's
partly up to tiie student body to deride. Not so long ago then two
gaflMs iii which Varsity best Spar-
lings, and ln those gamM one Harvey
Mclntyn found Varsity spirit so Uttle
to his liking that he left the floor on
both occasions, hiring gotten a Uttle
too rash with his penaltieg. The nit
of the team suffered accordingly. We
an not trying to suggest that Varsity
students ettend the games for the
sole purpose of ranlng Mclntyn off
till floor, but merely nminding you
of tho double effect a Uttle support
for the home team can have. Tony Osborne and the rest of his toon don't
need to have anybody on the Sperling
crew blown up to win thow games.
But they do feel a lot better when
they hoar skyrockets, Yea-Ttoems and
suchlike given in their favor.
Of courss, if tiw default becomes
definite, that's thai Mora about that
next weak.
An apology is duo to the claw of
Arts 'S3 for the mention made in this
column concerning a certain Interclass basketbaU game last week. Tho
game wm not protested by Arts '33,
so erase any bad impressions that may
have been given.
We Want Blisters
Members of the Varaity Rowing
Club turn up at lectures with bandaged hands these days, but they look
at their copious blisters with a smile
and as they scull through the snow
at eight in the morning, dodging tugboats, etc., down at Coal Harbor, they
see before them aU the good things
that wiU happen to them on their
forthcoming jaunt to Seattle for an
IntercoUegiate meet with the University of Washington. "We don't mind
the blisters. We don't mind the shivers, Cause we're going down to Seattle, Sonny Boy," sort of thing. They
will have earned it.
Soccer Gets Socked
Varrity Soccerites are no end peeved
at the treatment accorded their field
in the Canadian Rugby game last Saturday between North Shore All-
Blacks, and the Varsity eleven. It
seems that their net was sadly mangled and sundry sawdust lines laid out
that an confusing to the kick and run
boys. Such lack of courtesy is unbecoming to any Varrity organization.
Reaporier Muck
Cyrius de Screpansle promisee to
give over the entire spread of the
Muck page to an account of the annual Pubsters-CouncU Hoop Brawl,
which should prove the highlight of
the season. It wiU probably come off
some time next week. Think of the
many thrilling plays it wiU produce!
Nell Perry is diUgently practising up
debating tactics, and promises to argue the referee out of many close decisions. MUt Owen says he wiU try
his utmost not to forget himself and
tackle the man carrying the ball, but
he can't promise anything definite.
Whlmmie hM declined to issue any
concrete statement to the press beyond
saying that he is strongly In favor of
the game being played In the Stadium.
Questioned as to his meaning, by your
Resporter, he explained that with re-
ent committee, reports, and all, he
has grown to know every nook and
cranny in the place, and would be
able to pull off many tricky plays in
that way. Other participants maintain a stubborn silence, refusing to be
drawn out. And If Mrs. Lucas* Uttle
girl Lukle wiU STOP ASKING QUESTIONS we don't know how to answer
we'll tell you next week the story of
PI Campbell's pants.
First Battle of Year
For Soccerites Sat.
The Junior Contest will be the
first of the year for the Blue and
Gold Soccerlings. In a previous
game on the Cedar Cottage home
ground, thc Varsity squad held their
opponents to  a small  margin.


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